{"collection":"chr","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/browse/chr/ecf/101/1010153.htm","path":"chr/ecf/101/1010153.htm","source_url":"https://sacred-texts.com/chr/ecf/101/1010153.htm","text":"Chapter X.\u2014A Conversation He Had with His Mother Concerning the Kingdom of Heaven.\n23. As the day now approached on which she was to depart this life (which day Thou knewest, we did not), it fell out\u2014Thou, as I believe, by Thy secret ways arranging it\u2014that she and I stood alone, leaning in a certain window, from which the garden of the house we occupied at Ostia could be seen; at which place, removed from the crowd, we were resting ourselves for the voyage, after the fatigues of a long journey. We then were conversing alone very pleasantly; and, \u201cforgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,\u201d 773 we were seeking between ourselves in the presence of the Truth, which Thou art, of what nature the eternal life of the saints would be, which eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man. 774 But yet we opened wide the mouth of our heart, after those supernal streams of Thy fountain, \u201cthe fountain of life,\u201d which is \u201cwith Thee;\u201d 775 that being sprinkled with it according to our capacity, we might in some measure weigh so high a mystery.\n24. And when our conversation had arrived at that point, that the very highest pleasure of the carnal senses, and that in the very brightest material light, seemed by reason of the sweetness of that life not only not worthy of comparison, but not even of mention, we, lifting ourselves with a more ardent affection towards \u201cthe Selfsame,\u201d 776 did gradually pass through all corporeal things, and even the heaven itself, whence sun, and moon, and stars shine upon the earth; yea, we soared higher yet by inward musing, and discoursing, and admiring Thy works; and we came to our own minds, and went beyond them, that we might advance as high as that region of unfailing plenty, where Thou feedest Israel 777 for ever with the food of truth, and where life is that Wisdom by whom all these things are made, both which have been, and which are to come; and she is not made, but is as she hath been, and so shall ever be; yea, rather, to \u201chave been,\u201d and \u201cto be hereafter,\u201d are not in her, but only \u201cto be,\u201d seeing she is eternal, for to \u201chave been\u201d and \u201cto be hereafter\u201d are not eternal. And while we were thus speaking, and straining after her, we slightly touched her with the whole effort of our heart; and we sighed, and there left bound \u201cthe first-fruits of the Spirit;\u201d 778 and returned to the noise of our own mouth, where the word uttered has both beginning and end. And what is like unto Thy Word, our Lord, who remaineth in Himself without becoming old, and \u201cmaketh all things new\u201d? 779\n25. We were saying, then, If to any man the tumult of the flesh were silenced,\u2014silenced the phantasies of earth, waters, and air,\u2014silenced, too, the poles; yea, the very soul be silenced to herself, and go beyond herself by not thinkp. 138 ing of herself,\u2014silenced fancies and imaginary revelations, every tongue, and every sign, and whatsoever exists by passing away, since, if any could hearken, all these say, \u201cWe created not ourselves, but were created by Him who abideth for ever:\u201d If, having uttered this, they now should be silenced, having only quickened our ears to Him who created them, and He alone speak not by them, but by Himself, that we may hear His word, not by fleshly tongue, nor angelic voice, nor sound of thunder, nor the obscurity of a similitude, but might hear Him\u2014Him whom in these we love\u2014without these, like as we two now strained ourselves, and with rapid thought touched on that Eternal Wisdom which remaineth over all. If this could be sustained, and other visions of a far different kind be withdrawn, and this one ravish, and absorb, and envelope its beholder amid these inward joys, so that his life might be eternally like that one moment of knowledge which we now sighed after, were not this \u201cEnter thou into the joy of Thy Lord\u201d? 780 And when shall that be? When we shall all rise again; but all shall not be changed. 781\n26. Such things was I saying; and if not after this manner, and in these words, yet, Lord, Thou knowest, that in that day when we were talking thus, this world with all its delights grew contemptible to us, even while we spake. Then said my mother, \u201cSon, for myself, I have no longer any pleasure in aught in this life. What I want here further, and why I am here, I know not, now that my hopes in this world are satisfied. There was indeed one thing for which I wished to tarry a little in this life, and that was that I might see thee a Catholic Christian before I died. 782 My God has exceeded this abundantly, so that I see thee despising all earthly felicity, made His servant,\u2014what do I here?\u201d\nPs. 4.8, Vulg.\n137:777 137:778 137:779 138:780 138:781\n1 Cor. 15.51, however, is, \u201cwe shall all be changed.\u201d\n138:782\nDean Stanley (Canterbury Sermons, serm. 10) draws the following, amongst other lessons, from God\u2019s dealings with Augustin. \u201cIt is an example,\u201d he says, \u201clike the conversion of St. Paul, of the fact that from time to time God calls His servants not by gradual, but by sudden changes. These conversions are, it is true, the exceptions and not the rule of Providence, but such examples as Augustin show us that we must acknowledge the truth of the exceptions when they do occur. It is also an instance how, even in such sudden conversions, previous good influences have their weight. The prayers of his mother, the silent influence of his friend, the high character of Ambrose, the preparation for Christian truth in the writings of heathen philosophers, were all laid up, as it were, waiting for the spark, and, when it came, the fire flashed at once through every corner of his soul.\u201d","title":"Nicene and Post Nicene-Fathers, Vol. I: The Confessions: ...","type":"page"}