{"collection":"Esoteric & Occult","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/browse/eso/pridisc.htm","path":"eso/pridisc.htm","source_url":"https://sacred-texts.com/eso/pridisc.htm","text":"PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA\n* or *\nHow I Found Goddess\nAnd What I Did To Her\nWhen I Found Her\nTHE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER\nWherein Is Explained\nAbsolutely Everything Worth Knowing\nAbout Absolutely Anything\nPublished By:\nLOOMPANICS UNLIMITED\nPO BOX 1197\nPort Townsend, WA 98368\n$5.00(cheap)\nCatalogs:$2.00\nTranscribed to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society\nCabal of the Unemployed\n[email protected]\nmpython@*.gnu.ai.mit.edu\n{calendar entered by /AHM/THX }\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nINTRODUCTION\nYou hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord.\nSome Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical\nhuzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively\nand are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great\nessay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum\nalmost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.\nIn 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In\n1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the\nidentity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept\nacross the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St.\nJoe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No,said another legend\n-- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very\nintriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon,\nwho had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity.\nI enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was\nalso careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually\nwritten the whole thing myself during an acid trip.\nThe legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's,\nthousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were\ntalking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by\nthen, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there.\nWhen the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob\nShea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the\nquotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several\nchapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies,\nasked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others\nwrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way\nH.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our\nmoods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful\nlies and myths we could devise fnord.\nWhy not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus\nimmortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet\ndiscovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage\nthe mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote\nto ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told\nthem he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case\nI told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence --\nvast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius.\nNow, at last, the truth can be told.\nActually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling\nanthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us\nas a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory\nHill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic\npoetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the\nmysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great\nSeal of the United States.\nI have it on good authority that he is one of the most\naccomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many\ntimes in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias,\nEmperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc.\nWhenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts\nto persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman\nand that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal\norigin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a\ntime-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could\nobserve us without his presense causing cultureshock.\nI understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to\nthis edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but\ndon't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan\nput-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the\nbranches of guerilla ontology.\nFor full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in\nconjunction with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press,\nAlbuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or\nPress, Berkeley, California). \"We are operating on many levels here\",\nas Ken Kesey used to say.\nIn conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they\nalways have, getting weirder all the time.\nHail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?\n-Robert Anton Wilson\nInternational Arms and Hashish Inc.\nDarra Bazar, Kohat\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nA jug of wine,\nA leg of lamb\nAnd thou!\nBeside me,\nWhistling in\nthe darkness.\nBe Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...\n- The Book of Uterus 1;5\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nSome excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE\nGREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST\nAND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT &\nPOPE POOP.\nGREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what?\nMAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness\nhumorously. Either way it is irrelevant.\nGP: Maybe you are just crazy.\nM2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The\nreason that I am crazy is because they are true.\nGP: Is Eris true?\nM2: Everything is true.\nGP: Even false things?\nM2: Even false things are true.\nGP: How can that be?\nM2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.\nGP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?\nM2: To dissolve them.\nGP: Will you develop that point?\nM2: No.\nGP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?\nM2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the\nmeaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was \"Three pounds of flax.\"\nGP: Is that the answer to my question?\nM2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question\nis FIVE TONS OF FLAX!\nSUSPENDED ANNIHILATION\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136\nPrincipia Discordia\nor\nHow I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her\nWhen I found Her\nbeing a Beginning Introduction to\nThe Erisian Mysterees\nWhich is Most Interesting\n-><-\nas Divinely Revealed to\nMy High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC\nOmnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold\nand HIGH PRIEST of\nTHE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)\nHAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!\nDedicated to The Prettiest One\nThe Upstart of one hand clapping\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -\nSurrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee\nPOEE\nis one manifestation of\nTHE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY\nabout which\nyou will learn more\nand understand\nless\nWe\nare a tribe\nof philosophers, theologians,\nmagicians, scientists,\nartists, clowns,\nand similar maniacs\nwho are intrigued\nwith\nERIS\nGODDESS OF CONFUSION\nand with\nHer\nDoings\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nI Tell You: One must\nstill have chaos in one\nto give birth to a\ndancing star!\n-Nietzsche\nTHE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)\nThe PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year\nof The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun\ndeck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a\nmysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he\ndiscerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing\nit upside down.\nKNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!\nI - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no\nErisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And\nevery Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.\nII - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering\nSystem.\nIII - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone &\nPartake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to\nRemonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom\n(no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat\nof Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog\nBuns).\nIV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of\nOur Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.\nV - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads.\nIT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE\nTRANSGRESSICUTED.\nTest Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If\nthey are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nA ZEN STORY\nby Camden Benares, The Count of Five\nHeadmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal\nA serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing.\nHe went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords\nthat troubled him, but he remained troubled.\nOne night in a coffee house, a\nself-ordained Zen Master said to him, \"go to the dilapidated mansion you will\nfind at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those\nwho live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go\nto the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position\non top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate.\"\nHe did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was\nfrequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the resr of the\nplumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes\nand other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon\nrose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through\nthe room said about him.\nHis worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as\nif in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that\ntime two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man\nwas sitting there was. The second replied \"Some say he is a holy man. Others\nsay he is a shithead.\"\nHearing this, the man was enlightened.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nWestern Union Telegram\nTo: Jehova Yahweh\nCare: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)\nPresidential Tier, Paradise\nDear God;\nThis is to inform you that your current position as diety is herewith\nterminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP\nPlease do not use me for a reference\nRespectfully,\nMalaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather\nPOEE High Priest\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n10. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock\ntogether and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while\nelsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains.\n11. Indeed do many things come to pass.\nHBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19\n- THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT -\nTHE REVELATION\nJust prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was\nalone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as\na medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a\nsecond American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late\nnineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant....\nTwo young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and\nMalaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at\nan allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This\nparticular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were\ncomplaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their\nrespective lives. \"Solve the problem of discord,\" said one, \"and all other\nproblems will vanish.\" \"Indeed,\" said the other, \"chaos and strife are the\nroots of all confusion.\"\nFIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU\nWITH FAIRY DUST\nSuddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped\nthem, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense\nlight, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.\nThe two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes.\nThey looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a\nvariety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored\nto the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The\ntwo looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The\ncondition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.\nThere walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle,\nyet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He\ncarried a scroll and walked to the young men.\n\"Gentlemen,\" he said, \"why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit?\nGentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what,\npray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?\" He paused.\n\"SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!\"\nAnd with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with\na pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and\nthe two lost consciousness.\nERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION\nThey awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers\nengaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was\napparant that their experience had been private.\nThey discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory\nthe chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to\nfind the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only\nreferences to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until\nthey traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient\nGoddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was\non the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of\na splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity\nitself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes.\nPyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested\nand dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:\nI have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness\nleft man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development\napproaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.\nYou have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your\nvision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is\nbruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.\nI am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build\nrhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy\nanarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.\nDuring the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and\nlearned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being\ndisruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered\nequivalent to strife and treated as a negative. \"No wonder things are all\nscrewed up,\" they concluded, \"they have got it all backwards.\" They found\nthat the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the\nprinciple of order.\nWith this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a\nmeditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:\nIt is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will\nfind anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the\npentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they\nchoose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND\nTHAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of\nConfusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.\n\"What is this?\" mumbled one to the other, \"A religion based on The\nGoddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!\"\nAnd with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar\nbegan to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was\nhooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with\ntears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own\nmadness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia,\nfor what ever that may turn out to be.\n\"There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a\ntrivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.\"\n-Neils Bohr\n\"Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?\"\n\"But there is no house next door.\"\n\"No? Then let's go build one!\"\n-MARX\nFnords ->Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,\nFnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord\nMomomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nSt. Trinian's\nSUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE\nSewing Circle\nTHE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY\nby Lord Omar\nVERSE\nMine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;\nIt is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now\nGathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;\nHer Apple Corps is strong!\nCHORUS\nGrand (and gory) Old Discordja!\nGrand (and gory) Old Discordja!\nGrand (and gory) Old Discordja!\nHer Apple Corps is strong!\nVERSE\nShe was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*\nSo She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!\nO it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;\nHer Apple Corps is strong!\n* \"Limbo Peak\" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks\n\"Ol' Limb' Peak.\"\nIf a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?\n\"The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses\"\n-Gen. Geo. A. Custer\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nPeople in a Position to Know, Inc.\nON PRAYER\nMal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He\nreplied with these words:\nNo, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has\nlisted many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a\ndrought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village\nwiped out in a torrential flood.\n\"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill\"\n(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is\nSpoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything,\nas you hurry along the Path.\nTHE PURPLE SAGE\nHBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19\nHeaven is down. Hell is up.\nThis is proven by the fact\nthat the planets and stars\nare orderly in their\nmovements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS\nwhile down on earth The meaning of this is unknown\nwe come close to the\nprimal chaos.\nThere are four other\nproofs,\nbut I forget them.\n-Josh the Dill\nKing Kong Kabal\nIT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE\nTO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nThe Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.\nDO NOT CIRCULATE!\nWhat We Know About ERIS (not much)\nThe Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque\nwoman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and\ntorn, and women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their\nbosoms.\nHer geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the\ntwin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of\nNyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both),\nand Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom,\nMockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies,\nand a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.\nOne day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created\nall of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old\nGreeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. \"They were,\"\nShe added, \"victims of indigestion, you know.\"\nSuffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is\nmischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.\n*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you\nhave trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost\nas well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, \"The Indoctrine of the Pineal\nGland\"\nDIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS\n-Horace\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE INSIDE STORY!\nThe Law of Fives\nthe Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first\nrevealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from\nThe Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus.\nPOEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also\nrecognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai\nMalignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of\nBavaria.\nThe Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR\nARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR\nINDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.\nThe Law of Fives is never wrong.\nIn the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: \"I find the\nLaw of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look.\"\nPlease do not use this\ndocument as toilet tissue\nThe Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun\nshines by day because, being a woman, it\nis afraid to venture out at night.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n\"You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it\ndoes big things badly, does small things badly too.\"\n- John Kenneth Galbraith\nTHE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD\nIt seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and\nThetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a\ntrouble maker.*\nThis made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold**\nand inscribed upon it KALLISTI (\"To The Prettiest One\") and on the day of\nthe fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and\njoyously partake of a hot dog.\nNow, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite,\neach immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription.\nAnd they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the\nplace and everything.\nFinally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must\nbe selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them\nto a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot\nof gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried\nto outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.\nAthena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great\nWealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a\nhealthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she\ngot the apple and he got screwed.\nAs she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris\ncould have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus,King of\nSparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta\ndemanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First\nWar among men.\nAnd so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian\nis to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.\nDo you believe that?\n-------------------------------------\n* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB\n** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of\nmetalic gold or acapulco.\n*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law\nof Fives.\nREMEMBER:\nKING\nKONG\nDIED FOR\nYOUR SINS\nHo Chi Zen\nis\nKing Cong\n5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We\nKnow It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal\nForm, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or\nUnbalanced Balance.\n6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which\nConfusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance,or\nStagnation, is attained.\n7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition\nback to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth,\nfinally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.\nHBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nDo You Remember?\n1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______ of _____.\nAn Erisian Hymn\nby Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB\nEpiskopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS\nOnwards Christian Soldiers,\nOnwards Buddhist Priests.\nOnward, Fruits of Islam,\nFight till you're deceased.\nFight your little battles.\nJoin in thickest fray;\nFor the Greater Glory,\nof Dis-cord-i-a.\nYah, yah, yah,\nYah, yah, yah, yah.\nBlfffffffffffft!\nMr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose,has been\nexposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has\nbeen doing all this nose swallowing.\nHeute Die Welt\nMorgens das Sonnensystem!\nAbbey of the Barbarous Relic\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nOfficial Proclamation -- ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3135\n--------------------------------------------------\nPOEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX\nV) The House of Apostle of ERIS\nFor the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia\nA. The Five Apostles of ERIS\nB. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC)\nC. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society\nD. POEE Cabal Priests\nE. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages\nIV) The House of the Rising Podge\nfor the Disciples of Discordia\nA. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather\nB. Council of POEE Priests\nC. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD\nD. Eristic Avatars\nE. Aneristic Avatars\nIII) The House of the Rising Hodge\nFor the Bureaucracy\nA. the Bureau of Erisian Archives\nB. the Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas\nC. The Bureau of Symbols,Emblems, Certificates and Such\nD. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened\nEristic Horde\nE. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of\nDiscordia\nII) The House of the Rising Collapse\nFor the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Discouragement\nof the Immanentizing of the Eschaton\nA. The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity\nB. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance\nC. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages\nD. The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast\nE. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit\nI) The Out House\nFor what is left over\nA. Miscellaneous Avatars\nB. The Fifth Column\nC. POEE =POPES= everywhere\nD. Drawer \"O\" for OUT OF FILE\nE. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths\n-><- OFFICIAL - POEE\nHead Temple, San Francisco\nHOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE\nBureau of The POEE Epistolary\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n= THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS =\nThe official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any\nsimilar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON\nPOINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated\nor simplified as desired.\nThe esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly\nshortened to THE HAND.\n\\ /\n-----><-----\n/ \\\nNOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \\/ is taken to symbolize horns,\nespecially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered\nHand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the\n\"horns\" are supported by another set, of inverted \"horns\". Or maybe it is\nwalrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth.\n\"Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind\nand all that resembles it\"\n-Breton\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n-><- POEE -><-\nPOEE (pronounced \"POEE\") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF\nERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean \"equivalent\ndeity,reversity beyond-mystique.\" We are not really esoteric, it's just that\nnobody pays much attention to us.\nMY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of\nPOEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He\nis called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold].\nThe POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society,\nwhich is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and\nspacially locating the rest of Mal-2.\nPOEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal\ngland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.\nPOEE has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State,\nand so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only\nfair, because POEE does not recognize the State.\nPOEE has 5 DEGREES:\nThere is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE.\nThe LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on.\nAn Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN.\nThe HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather.\nAnd POEE =POPE=.\nPOEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian\nSociety Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER\nordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=.\n\" This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out.\"\n-Lichtenberg\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nApplication For Membership\nIn the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY\n1. Today's date Yesterday's Date\n2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord\nb. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above\nf. Other-- BE SPECIFIC!\n3. Name_________________________ Holy Name________________\nAddress_____________________________________________________________\n(If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded)\n4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height:\n..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason:\nRace: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300\n5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th\nProfessional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from which\nyou have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled \"confidential\"\nlist all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24\nhours\n6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits\nI would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat\ncaterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because ..........\nI have ceased raping little children []yes []no -- reason ..........\n7. Self Portrait\nRev. Mungo\nFor Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned\nLICK HERE!!!\n*\n(You may be one\nof the lucky 25)\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n-><-\nPOEE & It's Priests\nIf you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may\nwish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of\nPOEE Priestly Things. A \"POEE Cabal\" is exactly what you think it is.\nThe High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect\ngood will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once\nin a while, he even listens.\nShould you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially\ndifferent that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans\nfor you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from\nscratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they\nare all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that\nEpiskoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the\nsection \"Discordian Society\"\nORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST\nThere are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to\nbe a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know\nbetter than you whether or not you should be Ordained?\nAn ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as \"one who holds an\nOrdination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather.\"\nSeek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise\nAnd find ye delight in Her Great Surprise!\nLook into the Chao if thou wantest to know\nWhat's in a Chao and why it ain't so!\n(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nWorld Council of Churches Boutique\nNote to POEE Priests:\nThe Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a\ncommercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when\nseeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market\nplace.\nThe Hidden stone ripens fast,\nthen laid bare like a turnip\ncan easily be cut out at last\nbut even then the danger isn't past.\nThat man lives best who's fain\nto live half mad, half sane.\n-Flemish Poet Jan Van\nStijevoort, 1524.\nThe Erisian Affirmation\nBEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a\nPOEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD.\nHAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!\nthe presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:\nALL HAIL DISCORDIA!\nfind the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods\nWithin your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow;\nPOEE Holy Cow, and\nWholly Chao\n-Rev. Dr. Grindlebone\nMonroe Cabal\n\"common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.\"\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nThis is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from\nours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach\n_______________________________________________________________________________\nLegion of Dynamic Discord\nHARK\nRECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY -- doth hereby certify\nAs a Legionnaire\nGlory to We Children of ERIS\nPresented under the auspices\nof our Lady of Discord, ERIS\nby the House of the Apostles\nof ERIS.\n-><-\n_______________________________________________________________________________\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nHOW TO START A POEE CABAL\nWITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER\nIf you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to\ndo with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do\nPriestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank\nwill be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the\nsame as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate.\nThe words you are now reading are your ordination.\nHOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN\n1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies.\n2. Sign and nose-print each copy.\n3. Send one to the President of the United States.\n4. Send one to\nThe California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding\n1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814\n5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other.\nThen consult your pineal gland.\nGeneral License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander\n~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~\nWhen in Doubt, Fuck it.\nWhen not in Doubt... get in Doubt!\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTrip 5!\n= The POEE Baptismal Rite =\nThis Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many\nPOEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.\n1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate\nin the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate\nright and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally\nnaked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in\ndisguise like a cabbage or something.\n2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume\na squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four\nmore times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.\n3) The Priest begins:\nI, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations,\noffices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris\nEsoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office\nof the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do\nherewith Require of Ye:\n1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate\nanswers YES.\n2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers\nYES.\n3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?\nHe answers YES.\n4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?\nThe Initiate answers PROBABLY.\n5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME:\n(The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)\nThe Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name),\nLEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!\n4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and\noffers it to all who are present.\n5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.\nMord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.\nDO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP\n3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were\nboth sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards\ndesignated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him\nas one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y' know.\nHBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2\nAnswers:\n1. Harry Houdini\n2. Swing Music\n3. Pretzels\n4. 8 months\n5. Testy Culbert\n6. It protrudes.\n7. No vocal cords\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE POEE MYSTEREE OATH G3400\n50\nThe Initiate swears the following: DMTS\n19\nFLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!\n(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to\nsubstitute the German:\nFLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!\nor perhaps\nWIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!!\nwhich is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)\nTHE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE,\nCANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR.\nMOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF\n'44.\nCorrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the\nNew York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but\nmud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.\n\"This statement is false\"\n(courtesy of POEE)\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nNO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME!\nTHE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY\nThe Discordian Society has no definition.\nI sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been\ncalled a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of\nOur People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers \"The World's\nGreatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are.\" Lady Mal thinks of it as\na RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of\nit any way you like.\nAN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY\nis one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The\nGoddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they\nlike what he says.\nTHE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD:\nA Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own\nsect.\nIf you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish\ndo what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't.\nThere are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes\nThe Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal.\nSome work together.\nSome never do explain.\nWhen I get to the bottom I go back to the top\nof the slide where I stop and I turn and I go\nfor a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see\nyou again! Helter Skelter!\n-John Lennon\n\"Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME\" -Rev Lady Mal\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS\nThe Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred\nChao, so that they can put \"KSC\" after their names.\nIt says little,\ndoes less,\nmeans\nnothing.\n* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We\nthought of it first.\n- The Numeral V sign -\nUsed by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies\neverywhere.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nPERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR\nSeasons\n1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung\n2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo\n3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti\n4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud\n5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse\nDays of the Week* * The DAYS OF THE WEEK\n1) Sweetmorn are named from the five Basic Elements:\n2) Boomtime SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE\n3) Pungenday\n4) Prickle-Prickle\n5) Setting Orange\nHOLYDAYS\nA) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS\n1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux\n2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux\n3) Syaday 3) Confuflux\n4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux\n5) Maladay 5) Afflux\nEach occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th\nday of the Season day of each Season\nC) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted\nbetween the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos\nSM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO\n-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --\nJan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn\n6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49\n11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54\n16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59\n21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64\n26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69\n31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy\nFeb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6\n10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11\n15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16\n20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21\n25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26\nMar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31\n7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36\n12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41\n17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46\n22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51\n27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56\nApr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61\n6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66\n11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71\n16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm\n21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8\n26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13\nMay 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18\n6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23\n11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28\n16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33\n21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38\n26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43\n31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48\nJun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53\n10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58\n15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63\n20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68\n25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73\n30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157][Next St. Tibs Day in 3158]\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nHOLY NAMES\nDiscordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not\nunique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son\nof Mr. and Mrs. VI?\nWill whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return\nit.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE BEARER OF THIS CARD\nIS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED\n~ POPE ~\nSo please Treat Him Right\nGOOD FOREVER\nGenuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS\n------------------------------------------------------------------------------\nEvery man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope\nReproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San Francisco\nA =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nFor Your Enlightenment\nTHE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA\nby\nRev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P.\nPOEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal\nWhen Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into\nthe kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his\nendeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the\nnight before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let\nit sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's\nintention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his\nweakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical\nlabor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of\nthat trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying \"it is bitter\ntea that involves you so.\" Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside\nintensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring\nand the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to\nexert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the\nvoice.\nAnd again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and\nLo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.\n\"The Five Laws have root in awareness.\"\n--Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)\nThe Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in\nit. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on\nthe supposition that they'll go there if they don't.\nHBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nA SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE\nOne day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the\nGoddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards\nthe radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?\n\"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord!\nConcubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden\nfrom my heart!\"\nWHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.\n\"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain.\nEverywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with\ninjustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers\nimprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe.\"\nWHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?\n\"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it.\"\nOH. WELL, THEN STOP.\nAt which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left\nThe Polyfather stranded alone with his species.\nSINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nCHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS\n=THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE =\n1. HUNG MUNG\nA Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen\nChinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of\nChaos. Holyday: Jan 5.\n2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO\nA Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo\nand Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod\nHome Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian\nGuerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19.\n[NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that\nDr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second\nApostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends\nonly Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is\nthe Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to\nsubvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.\n3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA\nSYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly\ncalled just SRI SYADASTI\nHis name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false\nin some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true\nand meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true\nand false and meaningless in some sense.\nHe is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle\nChief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type\nDiscordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri\nSyadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not\nthe same person but is the same Apostle.\n4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH\nA hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed\n\"Offender of The Faith.\" Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season\nof Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12\n5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE\nA wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania (\"Med-Terra\" or middle earth), who\nfollowed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad,\nJerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read \"DOOM\". (This is\na misunderstanding. The sign actually read \"DUMB\". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.)\nPatron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday:\nOct 24.\nAll statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some\nsense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false\nand meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some\nsense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual\nWisdom, Wilmette.\nThe teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual\nWisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense,\ntrue and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and\nmeaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.\nPatamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nHey Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's drunk.\nTHE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH\nbeing a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement\nand How it was Revealed to\nEpiskopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose\nof Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of\nthe Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus,\nLaughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch\nFrom the Honest Book of Truth\nTHE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1\n1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger\nof Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an\nHonest Book.\n2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the\nTruth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and,\nspreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and ,lying\nin the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an\nInspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.\n3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of\nMullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and\nfive nights, but found no book.\n4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass\nthat Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded\nhimself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had\nuncovered on the first day of his labors.\n5. Omar slept.\n6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and\nthere came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the\nDream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein\nwas hidden a Golden Chest.\n7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the\nStash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and,\nsharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in\nthe Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an\nInspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.\n8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit,man?\nWhat care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration\nof all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods\nwhen the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better\nwages?\n9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground\nby an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights.\n10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his\nDream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a\nMessenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box\ncontaining many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands\naround, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon\nothers nothing was written.\n11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of\nTruth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and\nLay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from\nit unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nCONVENTIONAL CHAOS\nGREYFACE\nIn the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of\nGreyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as\nhe, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted\nthe ways of Serious Order. \"Look at all the order around you,\" he\nsaid. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was\na straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.\nIt is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that\nparticular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the\ndisorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway,\nGreyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more\nseriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy\nother living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.\nThe unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been\nsuffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes\nfrustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man\nhas been on a bad trip for a long time now.\nIt is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.\nBullshit makes the flowers\ngrow & that's beautiful.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nClimb into the Chao with a friend or two\nAnd follow the Way it carries you,\nAdrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew\nOver the Waves in whatever you do.\n(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3)\n[graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK]\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nMeanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat...\nDOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, \"COSMOLOGY\"*\nTHE BOOK OF UTERUS\nfrom the Honest Book of Truth\nrevealed to Lord Omar\n1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the\nPerfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge.\n2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to\noverpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be.\n3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion\nby the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge.\n4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly\nunderpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose.\n5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation\nof the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion\n- that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of\nThud.\n6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of\nConfusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of\nDiscord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao.\n7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called\nBureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence\ncalled Discordia.\n8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished\nin a paper shortage.\n9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws.\n10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the\nAftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and\nreckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and\nPreparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the\nUniversal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a\nResurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS!\n11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself\nFive Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen.\n____________________________\n* This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY #6, \"HISTORIC\nCYCLES,\" which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first\nthree (\"The Tricycle\") of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and\nthe last two (\"the Bicycle\") of which are CONSTERNATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE.\n** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then\nthe exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that\nin which it did not happen.\nDull but Sincere Filler\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n\"And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation\nof Disorder!\"\n[H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]\nTHE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA (\"THEM\")\nGen. Pandaemonium, Commanding\nThe seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early\ndisciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over\nemphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary\ncompliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all\nhung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the\nAneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia.\nBut we know.\n1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all\nthe soldiers and bureaucrats of the world.\n2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for\nlawmakers, censors, and like ilk.\n3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools\nand universities, and dominate many of them.\n4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is\nmostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political,\nacademic and sacred Orders.\n5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L.,\nbut they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself.\nIt is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches\nin the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and\npassing them off as human beings.\nA person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of\nthe counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment-- just as long as it\nis a flag.\nDon't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton.\nHIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4\nGo To Your Left-Right....\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS\nON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST\nThe second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy.\nProbability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes\nfrom physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally--\nthat the universe, by its nature, is \"running down\", moving toward a state of\ninert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation.\nThat is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is\noverwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order.\nThe tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed\nin the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral\nformulation in all human thought.\nIt applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an\nisolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which\ndraw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the\nopposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing.\nThe whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current\nare called \"enclaves\". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in\na universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order.\nIF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT!\n-Rev. Thomas, Gnostic\nN.Y.C. Cabal\nPersonal\nPLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship\nexisting between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts\nunknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth's circumference\n24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth.\nThis is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet\nconsidered earth's atmosphere. So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston\n\"I should have been a plumber.\"\n--Albert Einstein\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\n\"Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken\"\n-Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect\n= ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT =\nBefore he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great\ndelight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers.\nOne day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he\nconfronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.\n\"Tell me, you dumb beast.\" demanded the Priest in his commanding voice,\n\"why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?\"\nMunching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied \"MU\".*\nUpon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because\nnobody could understand Chinese.\n* \"MU\" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING\nTAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A\nCONTENTED CHAO\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE SACRED CHAO\nTHE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung\nin ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is\nsometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the\nTaoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot\non the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC\nPRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the\nGOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.\nThe Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about\nabsolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth\nknowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.\nHERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS.\nIf you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it.\nThe Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic\nPrinciple is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made\nconcepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper\nthat is the level of distinction making.\nWith our concept making apparatus called \"mind\" we look at reality\nthrough the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The\nideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled \"reality\" and unenlightened\npeople are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other\ncultures, see \"reality\" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality\nwhich differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the\nlevel of concept.\nWe look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids\n(concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group\nof people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and\nrelate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is\nin the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle.\nWestern philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one\ngrid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one\nthat will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened\nwesterners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the\nANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more\nbeautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be\nmore True than any other.\nDISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some\nparticular grid. But, like \"relation\", no-relation is a concept. Male, like\nfemale, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is \"absence of\nfemale-ness\", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically\narbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.\nThe belief that \"order is true\" and disorder is false or somehow\nwrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the\nERISTIC ILLUSION.\nThe point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition\nrelative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T)\nTruth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid,\nand through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick\nanother grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and\ndisordered.\nReality is the original Rorschach.\nVerily! So much for all that.\nThe words of the Foolish and those of the Wise\nAre not far apart in Discordian Eyes.\n(HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1)\nThe PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia,\nwhich represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it,\n\"KALLISTI\" is Greek for \"TO THE PRETTIEST ONE\" and refers to an old myth about\nThe Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and\nthought it to be a negative principle.\nThe Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the\nHODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one,, it can be taken to\nrepresent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach\nelaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF\nFIVES.\nTHE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT.\n-Patamunzo Lingananda\nIt is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon\nBuilding, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a\nfirm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and\nthis building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens\nthat in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for\nwerewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be\nnoted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our\nmembership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and\nhobbies.\n____________________________________\n* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic\npersonality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call\nhim Archangle Pythagoras.\n[diagram of HODGE/PODGE TRANSFORMER deleted... DtC]\n5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying \"I\ndo not know! I do not know!\"\nHBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nBRUNSWICK SHRINE\nIn the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within\nthis very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed\nHerself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time.\nIn honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by\nall Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage\nto Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog\nBuns, and ruminate a bit about It All.\nIt is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five\ntimes over, than shall the world come to an end:\nIMPENDING DOOM\nHAS ARRIVED\nAnd Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder\nMalaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign\nfor All Literates to Read thereof: \"DOOM\", as a Warning of\nForthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal\nThis Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious\nMAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud\nfor These Five Days.\nAs a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in\nparticular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a\nPilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually\ngoing.\n___________________________________\n* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nSTARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which\nIs\nReal?\n*\n* *\n* *\nDo these 5 pebbles [note: they were pebbles,originally..try doing\nASCII pebbles -DtC] REALLY form a pentagon?\nThose biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes.\nThose biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is\na star.\nAn Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one\nis really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and\ndisorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed,\neven so the concept of number 5.\nThe real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about \"it\" is in your mind\nand yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE\nARTIST.\nConvictions cause convicts.\nCan you chart the COURSE\nto Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART?\nHemlock? I never touch the stuff!\nWhen I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired\na split beaver magazine. You can imagine\nmy disappointment when,upon examination\nof the photos with a microscope, I found\nthat all I could see was dots.\n7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS\n-------------------------------------------Pun-jab is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!--------\nTHE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)\nA Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization\nMALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC\nOmnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold\nHIGH PRIEST\nTHE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS\n(X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages\nOfficial Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a\n( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia\nThe Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS\n( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE\n( ) Drawer o\n______________________________________________________________________________\nToday's DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><-\nOriginating Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco\nTO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation\nBrother Ram,\nYour acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference\nto the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some\nobservations of my own,\nERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS,\nwhich is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use.\nFrom this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love)\nin the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then\nShe apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon\nShe opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the\nmale population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the\nsame forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect,\nsimilar to SIRE.\nAnd so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of\njust where Eris has been fucking around for 3125.\nFIVE TONS OF FLAX!\n-><- Mal-2\nNot for Circulation!\nKALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA\nsafeguard this letter, it may be an important document\nForm No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134\n_______________________________________________________________________________\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nDOGMA III - HISTORY #2, \"COSMOGONY\"\nwhich is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, \"COSMOLOGY\" (Book of Uterus)\nIn the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the\nsmaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING,\nnamed ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is\napparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with\nthe comparatively small number of things that do exist.)\nEris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an\nunusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy\nbore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic\nElements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been\ncreated sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the\nexistent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she\nstole some existent things and changed them into non-existent things and\nclaimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her\nsister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And\nso She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no\nmatter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more.\nAnd, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris\nbrought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent\nthings for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very\nmanner.)\nAt first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos\nand went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and\nordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose\nfrom this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by\ncreating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups\nwith others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She\nhad many grand schemes which delighted Her.\nEngrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder\n(previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways\nin which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not.\n\"Hah,\" She thought, \"Here shall be a new game.\"\nAnd She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest\ngames, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder\nafter Herself, \"ERISTIC\" because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of\nsympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side \"ANERISTIC\" which\nflattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them.\nNow all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied\nfor he had created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had\nneglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and\nhe went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this\nordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had\nno name at all.\nWhen the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded\nthat he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus:\nThat this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in\nNon-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and\ndisorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when\nShe heard this and then began to weep.\n\"Why are you despondent?\" demanded Void, \"Your new brother will have\nhis share with you.\" \"But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will\ntake him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to\nNon-Being.\" \"I see,\"replied Void, \"Then I decree the following:\n\"When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside\nagain in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You\ngirls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of\nMyself.\"\nAnd so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we\nplay with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it\nshall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that\nnameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a\nvery wild circus.\n\"Everything is true - Everything is permissible!\" -><-\n-Hassan i Sabbah\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nThere is serenity in Chaos.\nSeek ye the Eye of the Hurricane.\nA POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT\nWritten, in some sense, by Mal-2\nUnlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much\nenhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all\nparticipants chanting the English. it also behooves one to be in a quiet frame\nof mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position.\nIt also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd.\nRUB-A-DUB-DUB\nO! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung.\nSYA-DASTI\nO! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo.\nSYA-DAVAK-TAVYA\nO! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud.\nSYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI\nO! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal.\nSYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA\nO! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik.\nSYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA\nO! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia.\nRUB-A-DUB-DUB\nIt is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which\never comes first.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nThe Classification of Saints\n1. SAINT SECOND CLASS\nTo be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St.Norton\nthe First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave\nnear San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.)\nTHE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING\nACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION.\n2. LANCE SAINT\nGood Saint material and definitely inspiring.\nExample: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller)\n3. LIEUTENANT SAINT\nExcellent Goddess-Saturated Saint.\nExample: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes)\n4. BRIGADIER SAINT\nComparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or\nfactual). Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut)\n5. FIVE STAR SAINT\nThe Five Apostles of Eris.\nNote: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about\nSaints.\nEverybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a\nhand full understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton.\n-Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTESTS BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK\n=ON OCCULTISM=\nMagicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have\nsought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of universal\nopposites-- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the\nsteadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the ancient methods of the\nshaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important\npairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and\nSERIOUS/HUMOROUS.\nMagicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their\nsubject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential\nmetaphysical balance. when magicians learn to approach philosophy as a\nmalleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the\nabsurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with\na lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore\ngain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY.\nThis is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult\nthought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first breakthrough in\noccultism since Solomon.\n\"Study Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday\"\nsez Thom,Gnos\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nPOEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM\n1) Om your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely\nmidnight, noting your birth time and date of observation, count all visible\nstars.\n2) When you have done this, write to me and I'll tell you what to do next.\nThe Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther that he\naltered Luther's birthdate to give him an unfavorable horoscope.\nThe theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at\nrandom around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is\nalways possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite\ntheir cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the even number of persons, and let\ntheir names be replaced by the integers 0 to N-1 \"in such a way that the place\ncards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally\nsits down to a place card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he\nis correctly seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case\nR=P-D+N. The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is clearly\nthe integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the collection of values\nof R, or else two delegates would be correctly seated at the same time.\nSumming the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S+NK, where K is\nan integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows\nthat N=2K+1, an odd number.\" This contradicts the original assumption.\n\"I actually solved this problem some years ago,\" Rybicki writes, \"for\na different but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the\nnonattacking 'eight queens' problem for a cylindrical chessboard where\ndiagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE\nINTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM\nTo choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a\ntrip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the\ncreative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order\nand disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along\nwith, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive\norder as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.\nThe Curse of Greyface included the division of life into\norder/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of\nbuilding a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential\npositive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects\nof order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative\nuses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division.\nPOEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work\ntoward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is\npossible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive\ndisorder, is unnecessary and undesirable.\nSeek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all\nORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE\nRevealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil\nCurse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere\nfor their just protection.\nThe Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and\nhis followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a\ntimely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation.\nThe Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and\nif introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet\nworking out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply\nannoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although\nit can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a\nmisguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of\nthe Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to\nbe achieved. CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity\non the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive\nmotivation is essential for self-protection.\nTO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE:\nTake a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs.\nFace the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the\ndirection of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize.\nBegin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands\nas though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and\nclearly:\nGOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!\nThe results will be instantly apparent.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nA PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar\nThe SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the\nignorant. The \"socratic approach\" is what you call starting an argument by\nasking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask \"Did you know that\nGod's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?\" If he should answer \"Yes.\" then he\nprobably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says \"No.\" then\nquickly proceed to:\nTHE BLIND ASSERTION and say \"Well, He Is a girl, and His name is\nERIS!\" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into\nthe Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not\nappear convinced, then proceed to:\nTHE FAITH BIT: \"But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I\nsure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith.\" And then add:\nTHE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask \"Do you know what\nhappens to those who deny Goddess?\" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he\nwill surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the\npoor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake\nyour head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to:\nTHE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and\nconfusion in the world and exclaim \"Well who the hell do you think did all of\nthis, wise guy?\" If he says, \"Nobody, just impersonal forces.\" then quickly\nrespond with:\nTHE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely\nright, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS.\nIf he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to:\nTHE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people\nlike himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable\nMetaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem\nthan like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao\nButton and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get\nhip. Then put him on your mailing list.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nSINK\nA GAME\nby Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS\nSINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk.\nPURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing...\nin water or mud or anything you; can sink something in.\nRULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were\nused to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole\nto drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be\nused.\nTURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first.\nDUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing \"SINK\" to help find more\nobjects to sink, once; one object is sunk.\nUPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell \"I sank it!\" or something equally as\nthoughtful.\nNAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder\nof such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, \"I sunk Columbus,\nOhio!\"\n\"In a way, we're a kind of Peace Corps.\"\n- Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training Director of the\nGreen Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nA Joint Effort of the Discordian Society\nPOST OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT\nExport License Not Required\nTHIS IS A CHAIN LETTER.\nWITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVEDAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS\nOF CHAINS!\nIn the meantime - plant your seeds.\nIf a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of\npeople receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted.\nPlant your seeds.\nIn parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall.\nWherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it\nfirst for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day\nand plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't worry much\nabout the weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait\nfor nature. Don't soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life\nform and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people's\nhelp to get started. Plant your seeds.\nMake a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of\nyours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries.\nIf you would rather not, then please pass this copy on to someone and perhaps\nthey would like to.\nTHERE IS NO TRUTH\nto the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of\ncatastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of\ncourse, from your seed's point of view.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nQ. \"How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its brains out?\" A. Nobody has ever\nexplained that.\nMary Jane says \"Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down.\"\n\"And God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon\nthe face of the earth... to you it shall be for meat.\"\n-Genesis 1:29\n[graphical stuff deleted -DtC]\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nQuestions\nHave a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the unit on\n\"Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs\" that he enjoyed. Name some\ncauses of disturbance in your school.\nChapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS\n--Lord Omar\n1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now\ncomplain that ye lack FREEDOM!\n2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting,\nthat ye've been left to fight alone.\n3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire\nPentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink\nholes.\n4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What\nfear ye more that what ye have wroughten?\n5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the\nBavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land\nwith tribulation as have yer baseless warnings.\nDESPITE strong evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that it was\nMr. Momomoto's brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of '44.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nAdvertisement\n_______________________________________________________________________________\nBAVARIAN ILLUMINATI\nFounded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)\nReformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.)\nTHE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA\ninvite YOU to join\nThe World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy\nHave you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY IS there an ESOTERIC ALLEGORY con-\nThe GREAT PYRAMID has FIVE sides cealed in the apparently innocent\n(counting the bottom)? legend of Snow White and The Seven\nDwarfs?\nWHAT IS the TRUE secret SINISTER WHY do scholarly anthropologists\nREALITY lying behind the ANCIENT TURN PALE with terror at the\nAztec Legend of QUETZLCOATL? very MENTION of the FORBIDDEN\nname YOG-SOTHOTH?\nWHO IS the MAN in ZURICH WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN\nthat some SWEAR is LEE TO AMBROSE BIERCE?\nHARVEY OSWALD?\nIf your I.Q. is over 150, and you have $3,125.00 (plus handling), you might be\neligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put\nthe money in a cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our Underground\nAgents will contact you shortly.\nI DARE YOU!\nTELL NO ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO\nMUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI\nMay we warn you against imitations! Ours is the original and genuine\n\"Nothing is true. Everything is Permissible\"\n- Hassan i Sabbah\nNIL\nCARBORUNDUM\nILLEGITIMO\n_______________________________________________________________________________\n\"Illuminate the Opposition!\"\n-- Adam Weishaupt,\nGrand Primus Illuminatus\nOfficial\nBavarian Illuminati\n\"Ewige Blumenkraft!\"\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nINTER-OFFICE WIRE SENT\nTHE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA - VIGILANCE LODGE\nMad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal\nDISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE\nOf possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith released\nfrom the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos Dr. Mordecai\nMalignatius, KNS.\nSAMPLE MESSAGE: (\"HAIL ERIS\")\nCONVERSATION:\nA B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z\n1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26\nSTEP 1. Write out the message (HAIL ERIS) and put all the vowels at the end\n(HLRSAIEI)\nSTEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH)\nSTEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8)\nSTEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19)\nSTEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS)\nThis cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100% UNBREAKABLE.\nBEWARE! THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING YOU!\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nHere is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE:\n_______________________________________________________________________________\nThe World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy\nBAVARIAN ILLUMINATI\nFounded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)\nReformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.)\n( )Official Business (X) Surreptitious Business\nFrom: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister\nDear Brother Mal-2,\nIn response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted\nin the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please\nstop bothering us with your incessant letters!\nEpiskopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you\nare welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been\nfully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave\nwho ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000\nB.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria\nafter Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to the western hemisphere\nby Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4\nAhua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif,\ncirca 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as\nThe Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect\n(Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred,\nPelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam\nWeishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to\nthe United States during the period that he was impersonating George\nWashington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The\nGreat Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition\nis now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria\n(A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States.\nOur teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication.\nNo harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in\nJoyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of\nthe Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to\nspeak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!), but we are still suppressing\nthose.\nConsidering current developments--you know the ones I speak of--it\nhas been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your\npublication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the\nMasons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have\nsignificant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died\nlast year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society,\nthe Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of\nCommerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger\nDie For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue\nthe sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not\nreveal that political and economic control was generally complete several\ngenerations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until\ncivilization advances sufficiently for phase five.\nIn fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax:\n\"Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined,\nbehind-the-scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian\nforce--worshipers of Mamon--whose undying purpose is world control through the\ncontrol of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get\nanything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society\nknown as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable\ndocumentary evidence to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and\nchaos stem from this source.\" Etc., etc., you know the stuff.\nThe general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearly\nexposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a\ndrag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth\nof sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy\nLama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please\nreview and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the\nEristic propensity of the Pentagon site.\nOh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that\nZambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated\nthe FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstasy\nover the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep\nfrom blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally\nhave it. After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly\nbelieve it. But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren,\nMal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live\nin a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic\nsatisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty\nthousand years....!\nAh, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia.\nEwige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS.\nLove,\nMAD MALIK\nPS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia.\nWe are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications.\nHerewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5.\n[note: Graphic Cypher deleted DtC]\n_______________________________________________________________________________\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nPart Five The Golden Secret\nNONSENSE AS SALVATION\nThe human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases\ntaking itself so seriously.\nTo that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation\nfrom an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so\nseriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES\nare taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF\nPLAYING GAMES.\nTo this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and\nplay with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that\nthereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.\nIf you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master\nsense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that\nmoment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his\nsurroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He\nbecomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free\nto play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without\nfear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his\nsoul and love in his being.\nAnd when men become free then mankind will be free.\nMay you be free of The Curse of Greyface.\nMay the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes.\nMay you have the knowledge of a sage,\nand the wisdom of a child.\nHail Eris. T'AI\n___ ___\n___ ___\n___ ___\n_________\n_________\n_________\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nTHUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA\nThis being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of\nthe 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; which revised\nthe 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of\n\"PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST\" published in New Orleans in\n1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost.\nIf you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again.\n(K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like\nPublished by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco\n\" On The Future Site of Beautiful\nSan Andreas Canyon\"\nOffice of My High Reverence\nMalaclypse the Younger KSC\nOPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE\nKALLISTI\nTHE LAST WORD\nThe foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through\nmany consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be\nthe Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn't\nalways say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are\nsometimes told quite different things in their Revelations, which are also the\nWord of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than\nPOEE, then none of these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you\nhave read all the way down to the very last word.\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nDISCORDIAN SOCIETY\nDedicated to an Advanced\nUnderstanding of the Paraphysical\nManifestations of Everyday Chaos\nDID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND?\nWell, probably you do have one, and it's unfortunate because lopsided Pineal\nGlands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and subverted Life into a\nfrustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess.\nFortunately, you have before you a handbook that will show you how to discover\nyour salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION.\nIt will advise you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach spiritual\nIllumination. And it will teach you how to turn your miserable mess into a\nbeautiful, joyful, and splendid one.\nPOEE is a bridge from\nPISCES to AQUARIUS\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nthe Words of the Illuminated Rated X... NATURALLY\nWhy are we Here ? SUPPRESSED KNOWLEDGE\nHave you ever secretly HYGIENE\nwondered why the Great The Lord promised: \"Therefore,\nPyramid has five sides? - behold, I will bring evil upon\ncounting the bottom? the house of Jeroboam and will\ncut off from Jeroboam him that\nGRAND OPERA pisseth against the wall...\"\n\"Wherefore my bowels shall sound -I Kings 14:10 (This\nlike a harp for Moab, and mine unsanitary practice caused\ninner parts for Kirharesh.\" serious erosion of the mud\n-Isaiah 16:11 walls)\nFace to fact with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the thoughtful man\nfearlessly contemplates his place in the great cosmic scheme.\n-><- POEE -><-\nYES, I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions that will turn Me into a \"Mental\nWizard\" in a Single Weekend.\nWarning!\nProlonged use in a darkened room may induce hallucinations or trigger\nundesired side effects. Should not be used in the presence of persons subject\nto epilepsy.\nTHIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN YOUR LIFE!\n-THE GODDESS ERIS PREVAILS-\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nSPECIAL AFTERWORD\nto the Loompanics Edition of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA\nG.H. Hill, San Francisco, 1979\nAll Rites Reversed (K) Reprint What You Like\nINTERVIEW WITH NORTON CABAL\nby Gypsie Skripto, Special Correspondent\nIt has been ten years since I net the mysterious Malaclypse the\nYounger. I was free lancing for the underground papers and went to POEE Hear\nTemple at 555 Battery Street to try for an interview.\nI found him in the Temple PO Box busy wrapping up the new Fourth\nEdition of PRINCIPIA. He seemed impatient with me, insisting that he didn't\nhave the time or inclination for foolish questions from reporters. Undaunted,\nI burst out with questions like whether he preferred Panama Red or Acapulco\nGold and how the fuck did we manage to fit inside of a tiny post office box\nand other things apropos a naive young semiliterate dropout hippy writer. He\nasked me if I wanted to drop mescaline and fuck all night and said he knew how\nto turn himself into a unicorn and there might be room for a tiny interview on\nthe cover of the PRINCIPIA if I wanted to work for the GREATER POOP so I said\nsure, OK, I've never dropped mescaline in a post office box before.\nIt turned out I was among the last to see Malaclypse. As subsequent\nissues of GREATER POOP revealed, he was to disappear and POEE business was to\nbe assumed by his students at Norton Cabal. Professor Ignotum P. Ignotius,\nDepartment of Comparative Realities, was assigned the Trust of the POEE Scruple\nand Rev. Dr. Occupant became Keeper of the Box. The newly published copies of\nPRINCIPIA were distributed by Mad Malik, Block Disorganizer, who had\ndistribution contacts with the Aluminum Bavariati. Practical relations\nremained in the hands of concept artist G. Hill.\nWhen the 1000 PRINCIPIAS were gone the GREATER POOP stopped\npublishing, Head Temple closed down and the Cabal just seemed to evaporate.\nFinally even the box was closed. But over the years I noticed that copies were\nstill circulating, and that independent Discordian Cabal would occasionally pop\nout of nowhere (and still do ). And I would wonder what ever happened to\nMalaclypse.\nWhen I read the ILLUMINATUS trilogy I resolved to again find and\ninterview the denizens of Joshua Norton Cabal of the Discordian Society.\n* * *\nAs I cabled over Nob to San Francisco's Station 'O' Post Office I\ncouldn't help but wonder at Goddess' hand in assigning street addresses to Her\noutposts. Mal2 had told me that Good Lord Omar always filed everything under\n\"O\" for OUT OF FILE.\n\"Maya is marvelous\" I was thinking when I rapped on the little metal\ndoor and was greeted warmly by a huge beard who introduced himself as\nProfessor Ignotius. He ushered me into a spacious wood paneled and tapestry\nhung parlor where three others were laughing and passing around a wine jug.\nThe sunny one in a tunic was the Reverend Doctor Occupant, the trim khaki and\njeans was Mad Malik and the wine jug claimed to be Hill. I got the recorder\non....\nGYPSIE SKRIPTO [in response to a question]: ...1969 but only briefly. I guess\nI missed you guys.\nMAD MALIK: No wonder, he was pretty much a one man show then. We were just his\nstudents and were usually off on errands. You worked for the POOP?\nGypsie: Well, for one night anyway. The interview is in the PRINCIPIA.\nREV. DR. OCCUPANT: Malik was the only one he would ever let write for the POOP\nor get on the letterhead.\nGypsie: Did you [Malik] have higher authority than the others?\nMalik: No, [but I was allowed to speak in the POOP] because [Malaclypse the\nYounger] hated politics. He was infuriated with Johnson and nixon over Viet\nNam because it was turning the renaissance into a political revolution and was\nstealing his sacred thunder. So he trained me in Zenarchy, which he learned\nfrom Omar, and I was the official anarcho-pacifist for the Cabal. Also I was\nliaison to The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, the Chicago Discordians.\nLater Omar activated the Hung Mung Cong Tong and ELF, on zenarchist\nprinciples, and also Operation Mindfuck. I was also into those. Though at the\ntime I was masquerading in GREATER POOP as a created cabbage to throw off the\nFBI.\nGypsie [to Hill]: Since you wrote it, I take it you are an anarchist?\nG.H. Hill: Since then I have given up anarchy. Too many rules-- hating the\ngovernment and all that stuff.\nIGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS: It's like hating your own fantasies.\nMalik: [Anarchy] is also standing up and proceeding forward, fantasy rule or\nnot. The condition is the same.\nOccupant: Brother needs some wine!\nMalik: We have had this argument before, Reverend Doctor Brother. But wine\nbefore platitudes, fill it up.\nGypsie [to Hill]: And pacifism?\nHill: I'm not sure I ever was one. Mal2 was not, Malik was. Personally I\naccepted self defense yet I could never reconcile that with the ideal. I\nfinally gave up on that one too. Actually I just gave up on idealism.\nIgnotius: Idealism lives with rules. Realism lives with rocks.\nHill: Yeah. I get along better with rocks.\nMalik: Mal2 once told me that pacifism was a dilemma. If everybody was a\npacifist then everything would be perfect. But nobody is going to be a\npacifist unless I am first. But if I am and somebody else is not, then I get\nscrewed. He said that there were five choices under that circumstance. The\nfirst was napalming farmers and the second was executing your parents. The\nthird was hypocrisy, the fourth was cowardice, and the fifth was to swallow\nthe dilemma. Zenarchists are trained in dilemma swallowing.\nOccupant: So are other Erisians, like POEE.\nIgnotius: That is characteristic of the Discordian perspective.\nHill: But of course training contradicts Discordian principles.\nMalik: Oh so what. Contradictions are nothing to Discordians.\nOccupant: Dilemma, Schilmemma. [to Gypsie]: What do you think of this, pretty\nma'am? We don't get to hear your thoughts.\nGypsie: I'm reporting now, you talk.\nOccupant: Later then?\nGypsie: Perhaps. Later.\nOccupant: You are smiling.\nGypsie: Hey, guy, later. [to Hill]: Doesn't this leave you a little schizy?\nHill: It's OK, I'm half Gemini.\nGypsie: What's the other half?\nHill: Taurus. That makes me a stubborn schizy.\nIgnotius: I'm a Whale.\nOccupant: I choose Satyr.\nMalik: Spirits don't have signs.\nHill: A character can have a sign if I want it so.\nOccupant: Well I can have a sign if I want to and screw both of you.\nMalik: Come on Greg, you just think that we are your characters....\nOccupant: You were inhabited by Malaclypse the Younger. He caused you to\ncreate roles and those roles are being performed by us spirits.\nIgnotius: A perfectly normal pagan relationship.\nHill: Well you can look at it like that if you want to, but I created Mal2 to\nmy specifications just as I conceived all the rest of you.\nOccupant: You didn't invent Eris. She caused you to think you created the\nspirit of Malaclypse.\nHill: Oh bull! Besides, I changed her so much the Greeks would never recognize\nher.\nOccupant: That's what She wanted!\nIgnotius: Deities change things around all the time.\nMalik: What you don't realize is that a spirit has a self identity.\nHill: Nope. A spirit is a product of definition and the one who is doing the\ndefining around here is me. Your identity is what I say it is. Just to prove\nit, I'm going to change your name.\nSINISTER DEXTER: It's OK with me. Fate is fate. I never much liked \"Mad Malik\"\nanyway.\nIgnotius: Besides people confused him with Joe Malik in ILLUMINATUS.\nDexter: I sort of enjoyed the confusion part.\nOccupant: Doesn't prove anything anyway.\nGypsie: That name sounds familiar. Where is it from?\nHill: Its a name I came up with in the old days and never used it much. Its on\npage 38 of the PRINCIPIA referring to Vice President Spiro Agnew. I always\nthought I invented it but now it sounds like a Stan Freberg name now that I\nthink about it. It may have stuck in my preconscious memory from early TV.\nGypsie: Can you use it without his permission?\nHill: If it is his? I don't know. I hope so. it means \"left right\" in Latin\nand is a perfect name for a libertarian anarchist. Actually in my kind of art\nthe question of what can I use freely and what can I not is a very tricky\nproblem.\nGypsie: How do you mean?\nHill: Well, take a collage for example. Like the early one on page 36 of the\nPRINCIPIA. Each little piece was extracted from some larger work created by\nsome other artist and published and maybe copyrighted. I find them in\nnewspapers and magazines mostly. Often from ads. With a collage you select and\nextract from your environment and then assemble into an original relationship.\nThe PRINCIPIA itself is a collage. A conceptual collage. All of it happens\nsimultaneously. But visually it is a montage, passing through time, like a\nbook does.\nThere is a lot of pirated stuff in the PRINCIPIA, especially in the margins.\nBut also I sympathize with artists who must own and sell their works to earn a\nliving. Art, like knowledge, should be free fodder for everyone. But it isn't\nIt is perplexing.\nGypsie: Where did all the things in PRINCIPIA come from?\nHill: Well, a full answer would take another book in itself. Most of the\nwriting credited to a name is a true person and almost always a different name\nmeans a different person. Most of the non-credited, you know, Malaclypse, text\nis mine although some things credited to either Mal2 or Omar were actually\nco-written and passed back and forth and rewritten by each of us. The\nmarginalia, dingbats, and pasted in titles and heads and things came from\nwherever I found them--some of which is original but uncredited Discordian\noutput, like the page head on 12 and other pages which is from a series of\nsatiric memo pads from Our Peoples Underworld Cabal. All page layout is mine\nand some whole graphics like the Sacred Chao and the Hodge Podge Transformer\nare mine but mostly I just found stuff and integrated it. Mostly I did\nconcept, say 50% of the writing, 10% of the graphics, all of the layout.\nGypsie: Specifically, what are some of the sources?\nHill: Weel, the poem on the front cover is by Walt Kelly and was spoken by one\nof his characters in Pogo. The government seals starting from page 1 are from\na book of sample seals from the U.S. Government Printing Office. Western Union\non page 6 got into the act because I used to be a teletype operator and had\naccess to blank forms. Rubber stamps came from all over the place and some,\nlike the apple on page 27, I carved myself. A few I ordered to my\nspecification, like on page 1. The quote on the top of page 8 might be from\nBarnum, I'm not sure. The jumping man on page 12 is from an advertisement. I\nrecognize the style--a popular commercial artist-- but I don't know his name.\nThe Chinese on the page is a grocery ad, I think. The Norton money on page 14\nis historic,plus my little additions. The apple on page 17,as well as the\ntriangle on 23 and the Sacred Chao on 50 are, believe it or not, pasteups of\nmimeographs, from Seattle Cabal. That group produced the best damn mimeography\nI've ever seen. The Lick Here Box on page 23 is one of many tidbits making the\nrounds in alternative/underground newspapers in those days. Trip 5 page header\non 29 was a chapter title in one of Tim Leary's books. The Knight on the bull\nwith the TV antenna on his helmet on page 46 came from a very artistic\nmagazine called Horseshit and put out by two brothers from Long Beach. I don't\nremember their names. Wonderful magazine.\nOccupant: Eris told Mal2 what to use and where to find it.\nHill: Yeah, in a way that is right. That is why my name does not appear\nanywhere on the PRINCIPIA and why it was published with a broken\ncopyright--Reprint What You Like. I knew I was taking liberties and didn't\nwant my intentions to be misunderstood. It was an experiment and was intended\nto be an underground work and that involves a different set of ethics than\ncommercial work.\nGypsie: There are no real names at all?\nHall: Oh, some. Camden Benares is a real name because he legally changed his\noriginal name to his Holy Name. Also, instead of using Mordecai Malignatus I\nused Bob Wilson's real name on page 12 because Werewolf Bridge was a work\nbefore Discordianism. And of course real people like Neils Bohr crop up in\nquotes.\nGypsie: What do you think about the PRINCIPIA now? Would you want to change it?\nHill: I consider it a successful work and I wouldn't want to change it. In\nsome ways it is immature and I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, but\nit accomplished the objectives I set for myself and it has the effect I wanted\nit to have. There are a few errors though.\nGypsie: Like what?\nHill: Oh, I changed a quote from Tom Gnostic on page 61 and I don't think he\never did forgive me for it. He's right. Starbuck's Pebbles should have been\npreceded by the Myth of Starbuck which was being saved for something else and\nnever got used. I should have used it when I had the chance. And then Eris did\na neat little trick on me by having IBM make the Greek selectric typewriter\nelement not coincide with all the characters on their keyboard. So the little\n\"kallisti\" that appears on the title page and lastly on the back cover came\nout \"kallixti\" and I was too dumb to know the difference.\nGypsie: Will there ever be a Fifth Edition?\nHill: There already is a Fifth Edition, by Mal2. It is a one page telegram\nthat reduces everything to an infinite aum. I found it at Western Union where\na machine got stuck and kicked out hundreds of pages of nothing but m's. He\nmade it the Fifth Edition and then left.\nPrincipia/Malaclypse was a very personal work for me and actually took 10\nyears to culminate. it was one single statement that included my adolescence\nin the 50's and my young adulthood in the 60's. When I finally had the\npaste-ups done I knew that I had finished it. That is why, quote, Malaclypse\nleft. I knew it was finished. I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was\ndone.\nOccupant: See?\nGypsie: Earlier you said that you met your objectives. Just what were those\nobjectives?\nHill: Well, that's hard to answer because it kept refining itself over the\nyears. In 1969 I mainly though of myself as a cosmic clown and I set out to\nprove, by demonstration, that a deity can be anything at all.\nIn other words, people invent gods and not the other way around. Later I\ndecided that I was doing some kind of conceptual art.\nIn the 50's my culture taught me that I was created by and for a deity, a\nspecific male deity, and that all other deities are FALSE. Yet my growing\nexperience showed me that any deity is true in some sense and false in some\nother sense. So I set out to do what my society told me is impossible--make a\nreal religion from a patently absurd deity.\nIn the 50's a female deity was blasphemy. In the 70's a humorous deity is\nstill considered impossible, ridiculous, and blasphemous. As far as I'm\nconcerned, I have proven my point. Eris is a real deity and even though I\ndon't promote Erisianism as a serious religion....\nOccupant: I do!\nDexter: You speak for yourself.\nIgnotius: Here, here.\nHill: ...I do point out that it makes just as much sense from its own\nperspective as all the others do from each of their own perspectives.\nOccupant: I think paganism is a valid spiritual path. I encourage Erisianism\nbecause it makes fun of itself. i think this is healthy.\nIgnotius: If you can live rewardingly with Goddess Eris you can live with any\ndeity, including none at all.\nDexter: I don't much go for the worship business but I argee with Occupant\nabout the spirit of the thing. We live in a time of turmoil, the whole planet\nis in a state of change. If we, as a species, cower from the confusion then we\ndie with the dying. This is revolution.\nIgnotius: I am an athiest myself. There is no Greg Hill.\n[laughter]\nGypsie [to Hill] : What do you think of ILLUMINATUS?\nHill: Oh, I love it. I was finishing PRINCIPIA when Shea and Wilson were\nworking on ILLUMINATUS. It took Dell five years to publish it...maybe that is\nsignificant. The 1969 Discordian Society was a mail network between\nindependent writers of various kinds. Norton Cabal was just me and my\ncharacters and I used the other Cabals as sort of a laboratory. In return\nother Discordians would bounce their stuff off of me. We would toss in ideas\nand anybody could take anything out. It was a concept stew. The exchanging of\nideas and techniques broadened and encouraged all of us.\nI like ILLUMINATUS for the surrealism. A very effective method of writing.\nIgnotius: I got misquoted. Worse, I wasn't even in that scene and if I had\nbeen then I would have said something else.\nDexter [to Ignotius]: That was me in that scene.\nIgnotius: Oh, is that what that was?\nDexter: He got our names mixed up.\nHill: He got mixed up about me too, in COSMIC TRIGGER. Bob says that when\nOswald was buying the assassination rifle, my girlfriend was printing the\nfirst edition of PRINCIPIA on Jim Garrison's Xerox. It wasn't my girlfriend,\nit was Kerry's; it wasn't the FIRST ED PRINCIPIA, it was some earlier\nDiscordian thought; it wasn't Garrison's Xerox, it was his mimeograph; and it\nwasn't just before Kennedy was shot but a couple of years before that.*\nThe FIRST ED PRINCIPIA, by the way, was reproduced at Xerox Corp when\nxerography was a new technoloGypsie. Which was my second New Orleans trip in\n1965. I worked for a guy on Bourbon Street who was a Xerox salesman by day.\nDexter: I think that George Dorn took too much guff from Hagbard. If someone\npulls a weapon on me, I'm more inclined to either leave or kill the\nsonofabitch.\nOccupant: You are supposed to be a pacifist.\nDexter: I'm speaking figuratively of course. I'll tell you more tomorrow.\nGypsie [to Hill]: Did you really translate erotic Etruscan poetry?\nHill: Sure, but I used a pen name. I signed it \"Robert Anton Wilson\".\n[A quick rap is heard on the door]\nGypsie: I have only one question left...\nDexter: I'll get it.\nGypsie: ...what I really want to know is how can we all fit inside of a tiny\nlittle post office box?\nDexter[to Gypsie]:It's a telegram for you, from Mal2.\nGypsie: To me?\n[Paper tearing]\nGypsie [reading]: \"If I told everybody how they could live inside of a post\noffice box then everybody would stop paying landlords and go live inside their\npost office boxes. It would collapse the building! Can you imagine, post\noffices collapsing all over the country, the hemisphere, the PLANET! The whole\nworld's communication system would be destroyed. No,no, I must not say. I dare\nnot!\n-------------\n* I checked this further with Mr. Thornley. He says that the woman in question\nwas not his girlfriend, she was just a friend, and it wasn't a couple of years\nbefore Kennedy was shot but had to be a couple of years after (but before\nGarrison investigated Thornley). --GS\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nFIFTH EDITION ODD# Infinity\nPRINCIPIA DISCORDIA\nor\nA CATERPILLAR'S PRAISE TO THE BUTTERFLY\nbeing the\nFINAL STATEMENT\nof Malaclypse the Younger\npublished by Joshua Norton Cabal\nSan Francisco (K) All Rites Reversed\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\nWESTERN UNION\nTELEGRAM\n_______________________________________________________________________________","title":"PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA","type":"page"}