{"collection":"etc","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/browse/etc/fmf/fmf36.htm","path":"etc/fmf/fmf36.htm","source_url":"https://sacred-texts.com/etc/fmf/fmf36.htm","text":"Forty Modern Fables, by George Ade, [1901]\nA PUBLIC Official presiding at a Marriage-License Counter put his Head through the Window and shouted \"Next!\"\nThere sidled up a well-seasoned Girlie who said she would take a $2 Writ of Attachment which she might use in gagging and binding a Helpmate.\n\"What is the Victim's Name?\" asked the Clerk.\n\"You can search me,\" was the reply. \"I wish to goodness I knew. I've been waiting for him ever since the War. I can't imagine what keeps him.\"\n\"What good is a License unless you have your Prey already in the Stockade?\" asked the Official.\n\"I want one with a Space left blank, so that I can use it in a quick Emergency,\" she replied. \"I can't afford to take Chances. It is getting too late in the Afternoon. Eighteen Years ago I sent my Heart's Idol out for the Parchment that would legalize our undying Love, but he happened to get on a Green Car instead of a Yellow one. He missed the Court House two miles and caught a Train for Los Angeles. I had to sit up for two Nights picking the Initials out of my Trousseau. Another time I planted one in a Waiting-Room while I went after the Permit. A Girl came in to dust the Room and he had to move, so I haven't seen him since. Next time I get one in Chancery there will be immediate Doings. I will simply say 'You 're On' and flash the Document. And then if he runs away he will have to carry a lot of Weight.\"\nMORAL: Never put off until To-Morrow what should have been done early in the Seventies.","title":"Forty Modern Fables: The Fable of The Third and Last Call","type":"page"}