{"collection":"Spiritualism & Psychical Research","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/archive_org_desperance-shadow-land/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/archive_org_desperance-shadow-land","id":"archive_org_desperance-shadow-land","license":null,"rights_basis":"archive_org_open:pre_1929_us_pd_heuristic:year=1897","source":"archive_org","source_url":"https://archive.org/details/desperance-shadow-land","summary":"","tags":["Mediums;Materialization;Spiritualism"],"text":"SHADOW LAND \nLIGHT \nFROM THE OTHER SIDE \n\n\nE. d\u2019 ESPERANCE. \n: \n\n\nLONDON \nGEORGE REDWAY \n\n\nme \n\n\nfh | Sw \n\n\nTHE NEW YOLK \nPUBLIC LISRARY \n\n\n894121A \n\n\nASTOR, LENOX AND \nTILDEN FOUNDATIONS \nR 1937 L \n\n\nALL RIGHTS OF REPRODUCTION AND TRANSLATION \nARE RESERVED. \n\n\nThe spirits of the loved and the departed \n\nAre with us, and they tell us of the\u2019 sky \n\nA rest for the bereaved and: broken hearted \n\nA house not made with hands, a home.on high; \nHoly monitions \u2014 mysterious breath \u2014 \n\nA whisper from the marble halls of death. \n\nThey have gone from us, and the grave is strong, \n\nYet in nights silent watches they are mear; \n\nTheir voices linger round us, as the song \n\nOf the sweet sky-lark lingers on the ear, \n\nWhen floating upward, in the flush of even, \n\n\nIts form is lost from earth, and swallowed up in heaven. \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nTo \n\n\nHUMNUR STAFFORI}, \n\n\nwhose guiding \u2014 though unseen \u2014 hand and \nwise counsels, have been my mainstay and \nsupport on the voyage of life, and to those \ndear friends from the Great Beyond, and \nthose who, standing by my side on Earth, \nhave been my faithful helpers, co-workers, and \nFellow travellers on the journey through the \nshadows into the light, this book ws dedicated \nwith heartfelt gratitude and affection by \n\n\nTHE AUTHORESS. \n\n\nPREFACE. \n\n\nThis book has been written at intervals \nduring several years. I intended to hand \nover the manuscript to some one to publish \nafter my death; but now having finished my \nwork as a medium, I have come to the con- \nclusion that I have no right to place on the \nshoulders of another, a burden of responsibil- \nity, that I would wish to escape bearing \nmyself, and have decided that it is better \nto have the opportunity of defending the \ntruths which I have here attempted to record \nrather than to leave the work to others. \n\nA more weighty reason is the fact that \nsuicides are increasing and | have never known \na single instance of a sane man throwing \nhis life away, when once he not only believed, \nbut 4ew, the truths which have been part of \nmy every day life since childhood. \n\n\nSome months ago Stafford wrote an article \non materialism which was reproduced in \nseveral German newspapers and a few weeks \nafterwards I received a letter from Baron X. \nsaying, he had just lost a law suit which to him \nmeant the loss of every thing. He had decided \nthere was nothing left to live for and was \narranging his affairs prior to taking leave of \n\u2018this world, when accidently the newspaper \ncontaining Staffords article came into his \nhands. He read it, wrote to thank the authcr \nand decided to give life another trial. \n\nThis circumstance encourages me to hope \nthat, by making my experiences known, \nsome others of my fellow-men may pause \nand consider whether earthly existence ends \nall and whether, in throwing away the great \ngift of life, they are not making a mistake \nwhich, a few moments after they would \ngive worlds to have the terrible deed undone. \n\n\n&, # Es. \n\n\nINTRODUCTION. \nTo Mrs. E. DESPERANCE. \n\n\nMy Dear Friend! \n\n\nYou have had the kindness to send me \nthe proof of your book, of which you ask \nmy opinion. It is with pleasure that I comply \nwith your request. The task you had under- \ntaken was rather difficult, yet you have \nsuccessfully achieved that at which you aimed. \nThe danger to be avoided was that of saying \ntoo much or too fittle. In saying too much, \nyou would have been entangled in particulars, \nas it would have required ten volumes, and \n\n\nx \n\n\nmore, to give a full record of your medium- \nship and vet, after all, it might have looked \nsomewhat apologetical In saving too little, \nvou could remain obscure. You have how- \never chosen a middle path, and, what is \nimportant, one gets a whole or complete \nimpression \u2014 a very good one too. Perhaps \neven now you may remain obscure for others, \nbut I speak for myself; as I have followed \nyour mediumistic career in all its details for \nmore than twenty vears, I can understand \nyou better than many others. \n\nEndowed from birth with the fatal gift \nof sensitiveness, you, against your will, became \na medium. Prompted purely by a feeling \nof duty towards truth, you did not refuse \nyour help to those who were anxious to \npush further into the enquiry, in which you \nyourself became more and more interested. \nSoon you obtained very remarkable pheno- \nmena, and you were enraptured with the idea \nof having such palpable demonstrations of \nthe glorious truth of immortality. What a \nconsolation for poor, benighted humanity! \n\n\nXI \n\n\nWhat a new field for science! A missionary \nspirit inspired you and you were ready for \nany sacrifice for the triumph of the truth of \nspirit intercourse. \n\nLong ago when I first became acquainted \nwith spiritualism, I often thought that if I \nwere a powerful medium, I would gladly give \nall my life, all my strength and means, for \nproving to all and everyone, the fact that \nthere is a spirit world, and that communica- \ntion with it is possible. Happily, I am not \na medium, but you are, and you were ani- \nmated by the same principles, as I had thought \nshould have guided me, had I been endowed \nwith the gift which is yours. In your life \nI see what the results would then have been \nin mine. Your career is a proof that, with \nthe best intentions and the fullest sincerity, \nthe results attained do not appear to be in \nproportion to the sacrifices we have made, \nor the hopes we have fostered. I can, \ntherefore, be content with the idea that my \nfate would not have been \u2018better than yours. \nAnd why so? From ignorance of the pheno- \n\n\nXII \n\n\nmena, their laws and conditions. Because \nnew truths cannot be enforced upon one\u2019s \nmind. Because the great pioneers of the \ncause are doomed to act alone, without find- \ning help and counsel from others, who, to \nsay the truth, are still just as ignorant as \nthemselves. Truth is to be found in groping. \n\nYou began to be undeceived the very \nmoment, when prompted by the \u201cmissionary \nspirit\u201d you tried to give to the first comer, \nto every stranger, an actual demonstration \n(see \u2018page 188) of spiritual manifestation. It \nwas then that you made a discovery \u201cwhich \nseemed likely to upset all your plans for \nregenerating the world;\u201d you observed that \nthe manifestations, which were obtained so \neasily in your private circle did not take \nplace -before strangers, inasmuch as, they \ndepended very much on the spiritual plane \nwhereon they were enacted. \n\nBut your bitterest awakening began, when \ndrawn unavoidably into the slippery path of \nmaterialisation, where all was then a mystery. \nTo these experiments you had given yourself \n\n\nXII \n\n\nwith a devotedness which was worthy of you. \nSitting inside the cabinet but without being \nentranced, remaining perfectly conscious, what \nhad you to fear? It was well that Yolande, \nwhom you yourself have so often seen and \ntouched, appeared outside the cabinet. What \ncould be more convincing and tranquilising \nfor you? And, Lo! an unexpected accident \nprecipitates you from heaven to earth! \n\nYou had the conviction of remaining in \nyour place in possession of all your senses, \nand nevertheless your body was at the mercy \nof a foreign influence. \n\nYou fell a victim to the mysteries of \nsuggestion. These mysteries were then almost \ncompletely ignored, and in the present casc \ncomplicated by the question: -\u2014 \u201cFrom whom \ndid the suggestion emanate?\u201d \n\nAppearances were all against you. You \nalone could know that your will had nothing \nto do with it and you were crushed by the \nmystery. It was very natural that for many \nyears you could not even hear the name of \nspiritualism. \n\n\nXIV \n\n\nTen years passed. I thought you were \nfor ever lost to the cause. But time is the \ngreat healer, and some good friends induced \nyou to sit again. A series of new experi- \nments in photographing the materialised form \nwere arranged. Splendid results, and another \nbitter awakening. Again you were accused \nwhen you knew you had done nothing else \nthan sit for the benefit of others. \n\nIt was a repetition of the same mystery \nwhich you were incapable of solving, in \nconsequence of the same ignorance. \n\nIt was at this juncture that I came to \nGothenburg to again take up the experiments. \nin photography. Having never submitted \nyourself to any tests used with the professional \nmedium, you, however, allowed me to treat \nyou as an impostor, submitting you to all \nthe tests I could find necessary to apply. \nNever the least objection. I can testify that \nyou were quite as much interested as myself \nin finding out the truth. \n\nAfter a long series of experiments and \nmuch trouble, we arrived at two conclusions. \n\n\nXV \n\n\nThe first was, that notwithstanding your \nfull consciousness of remaining passive in the \ncabinet, your body, or a semblance of your \nbody, could be used by a mysterious power \noutside the cabinet. Even your spirit friend \nWalter announced, through your own hand, \nthat it might happen that nothing visible \nremained of you inside the cabinet. This \nwas for you an exasperating revelation. \n\nAnother important point was gained \u2014 \nthe doubts and suspicions of outsiders were \nto be excused, as they appeared to have \nmore grounds than you ever thought it \npossible. \n\nAll this was most depressing. \n\nHence your resolution: \u201cIf I have any \npart in representing the spirit forms I must \nknow it\u201d (see page 353), and you decided that \nyou would not sit behind the curtain again. \n\nUnder these new conditions you obtained \nmost excellent results; and then took place \na remarkable case, which you describe in \nChapter XXIV \u201cShall I be Anna, or Anna be \n\n\nIe?\u2019 I feared you would omit to mention \n\n\nXVI \n\n\nthis experience, but I am glad you have \n\n, teproduced the details of it. The case is a \nprecious one. You had there a_ palpable \nduplication of the human organism. This \nphenomenon lies at the root of all materiali- \nsation and has been the source of many, \nso called, exposures. \n\nBut for you, what a new perplexity! \n\nI myself remember well the time, when \nlaboring under the heaviest doubts, you were \n\n4 writing to me \u201cIs all my life a mistake? \nHave I been misled? Have I been deceived \nand deceived others? How can I undo the \nwrong I have wrought?\u201d \n\nFrom the depths of that world, which \nwas so near to you from your very birth \nand for which you have worked so earnestly \nand disinterestedly came the light for which \nyou had prayed so eagerly \u2014 you received \nan answer to the doubts which were crushing \nyou down. I am glad to see you again at \nthe plough. \n\nIn your quite recent experiments in photo- \ngraphy you succeeded in developing a new \n\n\nXVII \n\n\nphase of your mediumship, which I have \nalways supposed as belonging to you, but \nwhich at the time of my visit to Gothenburg, \ndid not go further than the case reported at \npage 389. The recent results you obtained \nare completing your former experiments in \nmaterialisation and are in accordance with \nthe beautiful vision which explained to you \nthe mystery. We cannot see a spirit, but we \nwant to see it. We cannot represent to \nourselves a spirit otherwise than in a human \nform; and so \u201cthey\u201d manufacture for that \npurpose what they can. Such were the \nforms and human heads, which you have \nseen and drawn in obscurity, (see page 151); \nsuch were, quite lately, the invisible human \nforms which you have photographed by \ndaylight or with the magnesium light. I am \ninclined to suppose, that, if you had been \nsitting in the dark, you would have seen \nthese forms also. Finally such were the \nmaterialised visible forms, which were photo- \ngraphed \u2018in Gothenburg and of which you \ngive a specimen under the name of Leila at \n\n\nXVIII \n\n\npages 310 and 312. All of these are only \nattempts to give us something tangible to our \nsenses; attempts proving solely that behind \nthese forms are spiritual agencies at work. \n\u2018That these forms were not to be taken for the \nimages of spirits was told to us by them \nfrom the very beginning. \n\nIf you continue on these lines and become \nmaster of the conditions, one cannot tell \nwhere you may stop or what good results \nmay be attained. \n\nSuch were my impressions, dear friend, \nwhen I was reading your book. It is.a \nunique one. These are not the confessions \nof a recanting or apologising medium, but \nthe open and sad story of the disappointments \nof a truth-loving and truth-searching soul, at \nthe mercy of unknown but much promising \n\n\npowers. \n\nLeaving this world of \u201cshadows\u201d I say \nunto you: \u2014 Go on! Go on! \u201cFais ce que \ntu dois, advienne qui pourra\u201d \u2014 this is a \n\n\ngood rule of yours. I shall not see your \nnext achievements, but your mission, I am \n\n\nXIX \n\n\nsure, is far from being completed. Some \nday you will find your Crookes, who will \nunderstand the delicate nature of your medium- \nship, and how to cultivate and develop your \nmanifold psychical gifts for the benefit of \nscience and humanity. \nVery truly yours \nA. Aksakof. \n\n\nRepiofka, Russia 5/17 September 1897. \n\n\nCONTENTS. \nPage \nDediestl Ohtis pens won 1 une Ge eaneansie eye igre ee we ee OW \nPreface ...... VII \n\n\nTatroductton: sues x se csteex cesash eee \u00a9 are Ee atest Gre hw. GE \n\n\nChapter. \n\n\nXXI. \nXXII. \nXXIII. \nXXIV. \nXXV. \nXXVI. \n\n\nXXVII. \n\n\nThe old house and its occupants......... ... \n\n\nMy; \u2018troubles: begitt sos.s cniworn ager asa on ee 15 \nAm I going mad? ,......... ... sine sn 32 \nA sunny holiday, sad a silo shies, seer a 38 \nThe mysterious essay. ..............cc cee 55 \nThe fortune: teller\u2019 ex cce ree sx osesonmccaement ee 71 \nMy shadow people again, and table-rapping 82 \nThe table betrays secrets: . i: wics secs oes css ves 93 \nMaterial passes through material...... ... .. 103 \nExperiments in nicliecho sa Seid ior sent 8 2BA0 Fe 116 \nOur spirit visitors . 3 silgioimainens telah ue AQ \nScience and spirit portraits . Pistia aking: a5. tate she 151 \nA glimpse Of ttt acces cscacy geoqomanenndeersan aa 175 \nSavants become spiritualists............0..0..0... 184 \nConverts and. conyerts sg csi4 neseeciw aaarnanerae 200 \nNew manifestations ...........0000.0000.. diwenees sianned 216 \n\n\nMaterialised \u2018spirits .c.03 guscas aonataecdeoesticen vi 252 \nMOAT AG: sais setaptusisal ade vcitie Birman aPeualeeaunidaniclnues A \nPhe Tora: Crocata cn. swiss, onses sine andece eiminesan 2SQ) \n\n\nNumerous spirit visitants ............0... cc. 274 \nA; Bitter SxpPerienieess. on. nieces scncsectnane wmenarnne 2QK \nA. fresh: begitttt g scpcccnesus oe a5, cre means Ge 302 \nThe Golden Lily \u2014 Yolande\u2019s last work... .. 322 \nShall I be \u201cAnna\u201d or \u201cAnna\u201d be I?... ...... 334 \nFrom darkness to light .........0....0...00000 350 \nThe mystery solved ...................56.. gind@aahieas 368 \n\n\nSpirit photographs? 0.2. cnise scones wiaeesineren 386 \n\n\nXXVIII. Investigators I have known....................5 399 \n\n\nLIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. \n\n\nPortrait OF Fey DE. osc. cei imeiiicens \n\n\nThe \u201cShadow Lady\u201d \n\n\nTHE MSLadOW (SHIP? sac svcspviacrmacmmaimeccqontens sacieds an oi 8 Wop \n\n\nWalter sss siccs: oss \n\n\nTREGTEE (SEARORG, ie ecsiccicsinnaners, aes sencsnee ue opt Bradeaioaie tee fai \nCopy Pecil SKETCH... ..ccee uc vemexricnonniad vieds tesinnd # $4:58% \n\n\n\u201d \u201d \u201d ll \nMaterialised spirit ..... \n\u201d | \n\n\nIxora Crocata .. ....... \nPRGto! OF Faris oy ecesas Seed os seoidex sesicds tawecead Lakad Gadaed BR \n\n\n. ..... Frontispiece \nTo face page 24 \n48 \n. 128 \n136 \n152 \ngreed #6. Gansae 152 \n232 \n232 \n264 \n268 \n\n\n. 268 \n\n\nBHOtO: OF PLANS: s.csanascrsengunied sivas: asinen aie ye dren adecgeseRs 272 \n\u201d \u201d \u201d aee'eye 8 \u00ab 292 \nFA aac ERA DEIR? scictssis ata maeoivn apicensd -cibonicd wad jee ayieaseni exlnienaens Pe \n\nWolande ssn cours 4s on a, spt Sasi se wa ashe Saene datas Seweas MER ANES 310 \n\nMSN Lehre setae hc natn lay sa ceases aera eh ead eaiel ae Nido ROC 310 \nWP Hes Faded ag Seis MAAGnaPNTEadG sonaNGrad wastes sie deel aeaUN yaakeRe ah 312 \n\nGOLA SH Ti My praccrcecmengussaw apes gi Mave nidsagog sae dateniaiaeuierin wteenika ats Gate 328 \nin ) . DaineaaGdoge Saud Wontan deedbvenampnedes Meneanensis MMe 328 \n\nShadow forS! acassowergavess ainsi oaweg ix Kasenlyalertacetavginden 388 \n\n= wit ~, Spa srstnidte lcs tte sn has abbas hee hae lobeasiobeleisespaaeatic 388 \n\n\nSpirit photo? ............ \n\n\n\u2019 Cc rrr \n\u201d eC ed ee ee \n\u201d cr \n\u201d 9 et eater ee ewe \n\u201d re cerca \n\n\nSHADOW LAND \n\n\nOR \nLIGHT FROM THE OTHER SIDE. \n\n\nCHAPTER I. \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. \n\n\nAll houses wherein men have lived and died \nAre haunted houses, through the open doors \nThe harmless phantoms on their errands glide, \nWith feet that make no sound upon the floors. \n\n\nWe meet them at the doorway, on the stair, \nAlong the passages they come and go, \nImpalpable impressions on the air, \n\nA sense of something moving to and fro. \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nWuen one has made up one\u2019s mind to \nrelate a story, I suppose it is the proper \nthing to begin at the beginning. I have \ntherefore been trying to remember a fitting \ntime or incident in my life to start from, \nbut have given up the attempt because I \n\n\nI \n\n\n2 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ncannot recollect any incident, in regard to \nwhich there was not something that led up \nto it and that would have therefore to be \ntold as well. So I suppose I must go back \nall the way to where I began myself. This \nwas shortly before the Crimean war, for my \nvery earliest recollections are connected with \nmy fathers home coming, and the rejoicings \nwhen peace was proclaimed. I could not \nunderstand what it all meant, but as it brought \nmy father home it was to me a sufficient \ncause for rejoicing. \n\nThe experiences I have to relate, when \nlooked on from the ordinary commonplace \nevery-day life of this apparently work-a-day \nworld, are strange and incomprehensible. \nSometimes I have tried to put myself in \nother people\u2019s places, to see with their eyes, \nand judge with their understandings, and I \nhave invariably come to the conclusion that \nthey were not to blame for doubting the \nreality of the occurrences. For myself, these \nthings have grown with my growth, and have \nbeen familiar to me from the beginning, since \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. 3 \n\n\nI can recall no time when they were not \nfamiliar and natural; so that the only curious \nthing to me seemed the fact that other people \nshould not have the same experiences. \n\nAs a child I could not understand this \nfact; indeed the refusal of my companions \nto accept my version of what was going on \naround us sometimes irritated me beyond \nmeasure, and my frequent exhibitions of \ntemper at their incredulity, gained for me \nthe reputation of being \u201ca little vixen\u201d as \nwell as \u201cdecidedly queer\u201d. \n\nTo my mind it was always the other \npeople who were \u201cqueer\u201d; and I thought it \na great trial to have to listen to the wonder \nand incredulity, which frequently greeted my \nnarration of something that to me seemed \na trifling incident of every day life. However, \nas I grew older I began to understand that \nall were not gifted alike, and was magnani- \nmous enough to make excuses for others in \nmy mind on the plea that there was some- \nthing lamentably wanting in them which \nprevented their seeing, hearing, or under- \n\n\n4 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nstanding so much that was going on around \nus, which was so plain and real to me. \nChild as I was, I naturally took upon my- \nself to be their eyes and ears in much the \nsame way as the companion of a blind man \nwould do, till I met with so many rebuffs \nthat I gave up the task, although pitying \nthe infirmities of the ignorant grown up people \nwho, half blind and half deaf, still persisted \nin rejecting my kind offices. \n\nDuring my earliest childhood we lived \nin a gloomy old house situated at the east \nend of London, \u2014 a large house that had \nat one time been an imposing mansion; but \nthat must have been centuries before, for \nnow it was fast falling into decay and ruin. \nIt was said either to have been built by, or \nresided in, by Oliver Cromwell, I dont re- \nmember which; in any case it was very un- \nlike modern residences. Large, ponderous, \ngloomy as it was, it had yet an air of su- \nperiority and dignity strangely out of place \namid the newness of the houses which were \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. 5 \n\n\nspringing up mushroom-fashion on all sides \nof it. \n\nThe house was doomed to come down, \nbut its final destruction was deferred year \nafter year, and meanwhile we lived in it. \n\nSurrounding the ancient edifice was a \ncourtyard in which one or two trees struggled \nfor existence. It was paved by squares of \nblack and white marble reminding one of a \nchequer board. The house was approached \nby a flight of marble steps that had once \nbeen beautiful but were now stained, worn, \nand broken. The door at the top of the \nsteps was of ponderous carven oak, studded \nwith iron bolts, and guarded on each side \nby great griffins which were the terror of \nmy childish soul. Somebody had painted \nthese monsters bright green, giving them red \neyes and tongues. \n\nThe bolt-studded door gave admission to \na gloomy oak-panelled hall, from which opened \nseveral disused empty rooms, also a broad \nstaircase leading to the upper part of the \nhouse. Most of the rooms were oak-panelled \n\n\n6 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nand dark, the small windows never admitting \nlight enough to make them cheerful, though \nat the back of the house \u2014 which looked \nout over a large piece of ground that had \nat one time been a garden, but was now \nonly a grass-grown space \u2014 the rooms were \nof a more cheerful aspect, owing to the fact \nthat the original small bottle-glass casements \n\n\n\u2018had been removed and French windows \n\n\nopening to the floor put in their places. \n\nThese latter were the rooms we lived in; \nthe rest of the house was unoccupied and \nthe rooms kept closed, except the lower part \nor kitchens, in which lived an old couple \nsupposed to be caretakers. \n\nHow we came to live there I do not \nknow, probably because the neighbourhood \nwas convenient for my father, and perhaps \nalso because, in spite of its gloomy age and \nits reputation of being haunted, the building \nwas a more respectable and exclusive place \nof residence than the locality could other- \nwise boast. \n\nThe most gruesome stories were told of \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. 7 \n\n\nthe ghosts who perambulated the many empty \nrooms, and my childish imagination was taxed \nto the utmost in picturing the doings of \nthese strange visitants. I did not know what \nghosts were supposed to be, but fancied they \nmust be of the same ilk as the griffins at \nthe great oaken door at the top of the \nsteps, and was accordingly very much afraid \nof them. \n\nAt the same time I was very fond of \nwandering about from one empty room to \nanother, and of sitting with my dolls on the \nbroad low window seats, whence I would be \nfetched with an exclamation of horror and \nwonder by our servant, who considered my \nliking for the haunted rooms as \u201cuncanny\u201d \nand unnatural, threatening me with the ghosts \nand their vengeance if I persisted in invading \ntheir domains by myself. \n\nI could never quite understand nurse\u2019s \ntfemarks about the lonelines of the rooms, \nthough her threats about the ghosts frightened \nme. To me the rooms were never empty \nnor lonely; \u2014 strangers were constantly pas- \n\n\n8 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nsing to and fro, from one room to another; \nsome took no notice of me, some nodded \nand smiled as I held up my doll for their \ninspection. I did not know who the strangers \nwere, but I grew to know them by sight, \nand look eagerly for them; I took my toys \nwith me that I might show them, and a book \nof pictures that I prized above all the rest \nof my possessions. \n\nSometimes since I have wondered how \nit was that a little child should have been \nleft so much alone to wander about the great \nhouse, with no other companion than a rag \ndoll, but as my mother was an invalid and \nfor a long time confined to her bed, I sup- \n\u2018pose there was sufficient occupation for our \nservant. There were no other children to \nkeep me company; the little brother and sister \nwho had been born only lived a few weeks, \n. so that my earliest years were lonely ones, \nand I was left to do very much as I liked \nso long as I did not make my pinafores \ndirty \u2014 this being an almost unpardonable \noffence. \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. 9 \n\n\nWhen my father, who was a sea captain, \nwas at home the world changed for me; his \npresence was my very heaven; he was the \none being that belonged entirely to me and \nof whose love I was sure. He was the only \none who encouraged me to talk of my dreams \nand fancies, the only one who never scolded \nor spoke angrily to me; it was perfect happi- \nness to sit on his knee and feel his arm \naround me, or to nestle at his side in the \nwide chimney corner and hold his hand while \nlistening to the strange stories he told of for- \neign lands he had visited. Extraordinary \nstories they were, and, as I knew afterwards, \nsometimes invented on the spur of the mo-\u2014 \nment simply to gratify my love of the strange \nand marvellous; but to me they were pure \ngospel because my father had related them. \n\nAfter all they were not more wonderful \nthan my dreams, though perhaps of a differ- \nent character. It was nothing remarkable \nfor me to hear stories of mermaids who lured \nthe charmed seamen to the fairy palaces be- \nneath the waves \u2014 nothing strange to learn \n\n\n10 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof the wonderful music that only a few could \nhear. All this I thought I could understand, \nand it seemed to explain so much that was \npuzzling my small brain. It seemed to form \na connecting link between myself and others. \nSomehow, child as I was, I had experienced \na dull cold feeling of being in some way \ndifferent from other people. I had heard \nmyself designated as being \u201cqueer\u201d, and though \nin my own mind I had decided that it was \nthe other people who were \u201cqueer\u201d, yet the \nconsciousness of there being a something in \nwhich I differed from the rest caused me a \nnervous miserable dread of being misunder- \nstood, and sometimes a passionate resentment \nagainst the intangible something which con- \nstituted the difference. \n\nBut these weird legends told me by my \nfather had the effect of reconciling me, and \neven making me exult in being so well able \nto understand the mysterious people and \nsounds to which ordinary beings were blind \nand deaf. It was the same with me as with \nhis heroes and heroines. I could see faces \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. II \n\n\nand forms where others saw nothing but mist. \nI could hear music and singing where others \nonly heard the moaning of the wind. So I \nbelieved all he told me of nymphs, lorelies, \nwatersprites, mermaids\u2019 enchantments, spells \nand the like, and the thought that some others \nwere familiar with these things was the great- \nest comfort to me, and, as it were, re- \nestablished me in my opinion of myself and \nof the \u201cqueerness\u201d of those who did not see \nand hear the same things as I myself did. \nAs I grew older and was busy with les- \nsons I had less time to dream in, less time \nto spend with my shadow friends, as I had \nlearned to call them. Yet no sooner was I \nreleased from the monotony of the school- \nroom than I joyfully took my way to the \nhaunted rooms. My dreams came back, and \nimagination had full sway in peopling the \nold fashioned apartments and passages. I \nam now using the words \u201cdreams\u201d and \n\u201cqmagination\u201d because other people used them \nand I do not know what other words to use, \nbut they are not the right ones, since \u201cdreams\u201d \n\n\n12 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nand \u201cimaginings\u201d imply something fancied \nand unreal, but these particular \u201cdreams\u201d \nand \u201cimaginings\u201d of mine were very real, \nmore real than any other part of my daily life. \n\nTo me the rooms were never dark nor \nempty. Sometimes on entering I would look \nround disappointedly at meeting no familiar \nform, then I would be startled at finding \nthem suddenly peopled by strangers. Some- \ntimes these shadowy figures were so real, so \nlife-like that I mistook them for ordinary \nvisitors. Scarcely ever did I go into a room \nwithout looking round for some possible sha- \ndowy occupant, and seldom did I look in \nvain. Some looked at me in a friendly, \npleasant manner, and these I got quite accus- \ntomed to; others would take no notice, would \npass me on the stairs or in the passages as \nthough they never saw me. This vexed me \nsometimes and I felt indignant that my smile \nof greeting should pass unnoticed. \n\nOne of my shadow friends, was an elderly \nlady always dressed in black of some soft \nsilken material that resembled satin yet was \n\n\nTHE OLD HOUSE AND ITS OCCUPANTS. 13 \n\n\nnot satin. The frills of soft lace round her \nclose-fitting white cap enclosed a sweet old face \nwith smoothly banded grey hair. The cap \nwas peculiar in shape having a high-standing \ncrown while, at the back of the frills was \npassed a broad black band which came down \nunder the chin and was tied there. Round \nher shoulders she wore a lace kerchief knot- \nted at the breast. \n\nThis shadow lady seemed mostly to oc- \ncupy one special room, though I saw her \nmany times in others. The room was a \nrather long narrow one, low-ceiled and dark \nfor the window was a small latticed one with \ndiamond panes. \n\nAs our family grew bigger this room \nwas oftener used, and as a consequence the \nold latticed window was replaced by a larger \nFrench casement with windows opening to \nthe floor; the oldfashioned grate was also \nremoved and a modern register stove occu- \npied its place, but to my great delight the \nwide, deep recess on each side of the fire- \nplace remained, for next to the window ledges \n\n\n14 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbehind the curtains, my favorite haunt was \nthe chimney corner, where I could sit and \npore over my book by the firelight, undis- \nturbed and unnoticed. \n\nAfter these alterations, the room newly \nfurnished became a comfortable sitting-room, \nand, as it adjoined my mother\u2019s bedroom, \nwas used by her as her special sanctum where \nshe occupied herself with the family sewing. \n\nMany times I wondered how my shadow \nlady would like this intrusion, for I rather \nresented any liberties that were taken with \nthe rights of my shadow friends. It always \nseemed to me that they were the legitimate \noccupants of the unused rooms. \n\nSomehow though I frequently spoke of \nthese visionary inhabitants of our home I \nliked best to sit silently watching them; I \nwas jealous of the thought of others sharing \ntheir acquaintance and friendship and exulted \nin the fact that I alone was privileged to \nknow them. \n\n\nCHAPTER II. \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. \n\n\nMany were the fancies I had about these \nsilent figures and many the stories I imagined \nrelative to them. Many times I would won- \nder uneasily what it all meant and why others \ndid not see them, but after having been \npunished for \u201cromancing\u201d when I related \nsomething of what I saw, I became chary \nof talking to any one about them. I did \nnot, like to be laughed at and still less to \nbe accused of telling untruths. \n\nAbout the time of the renovation of the \nroom I have mentioned, a nurse girl related \na series of ghost stories to me, in a manner \nwhich so frightened me that I dared not go \ninto a room alone if it chanced to be dark, \nand even in daylight or moonlight I was \n\n\n16 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nterrified lest some uneasy ghost should be \nvisible. \n\nNight after night after listening with \nbreathless interest to these blood-curdling \nstories I would lie with my head buried in \nthe bedclothes, in a perfect agony of fear \nlest some visitant from the graveyard should \nmake its presence known. \n\nYet, strange to say, I never once in my \nthoughts associated my shadow frends with \nthe dreaded ghosts. They never inspired me \nwith any fear. I could meet them at any \ntime of day or night, return their friendly \nglance as they passed, or gaze curiously \nafter them if they took no notice of me, I \nwas even not afraid of the ghosts iffknew \nthese friends were near me. I felt a sense \nof protection and safety in their presence, \nand never objected to be left alone in bed \nwithout a light when I was conscions that \n\n\n\u2018one or more of my shadow friends were in \n\n\nthe room. \nMany times in later years I have thought \nit was a strange thing that this apparently \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 17 \n\n\nunnatural sort of existence did not arouse \nmore curiosity or occasion more comment, \nbut, as I have said, my mother\u2019s health was \nnot good, and she was busily engaged in \ncares occasioned by the advent of babies in \nquick succession. Meanwhile I was left very \nmuch to my own devices and though nowa \ntall slip of a girl, was seldom required to \nassist in any duties except my daily lessons \nand perhaps at times some of the needlework \nof the family. \n\nThis last I was not particularly fond of, \nnor do I think I was fond of any kind of \nwork except that of drawing, but for this I \nseldom had an opportunity, as my mother \nconsidered it a waste of time. I always had \nsome sewing on hand, but there it generally \nremained till, impatient at its long delay, some \none else finished it for me, scolding the while \nat my lazy habits. I bore the scoldings with \nperfect equanimity so long as I was left at \nleisure to pursue my favorite pastime, that \nof dreamily watching my shadow friends and \nspeculating as to their histories. \n\n\n18 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nAt length one day, my mother annoyed \nat my dilatoriness, ordered me to sit in her \nroom and sew a seam which appeared to \nme to be interminable. Work done by sew- \ning machine was despised by mother, who \nhad repeatedly declared she would not have \nsuch an abomination in the house. So the \nhousehold sewing was a never ending work \nand, to my way of thinking, a hindrance to \nall rational employment. Not so to my \nmother, who seemed to find in it both a \nsolace and a pleasure. \n\nI took my seat beside the low work table \nwhere my mother sat and began my sewing. \nThe room had a very different aspect now \nfrom that which it bore before the alterations \nhad been made and I wondered what my \nshadow lady thought of it. As I glanced at \nthe spot where I had been accustomed to \nsee her I was both surprised and delighted \nto see the dear familiar figure in the corner \nby the chimney. She held something in her \nhands and her fingers moved rapidly; then \nI saw she was knitting. It was so long since. \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 19 \n\n\nI had seen any one knitting that my interest \nwas at once aroused, and I watched the \ngleaming of the needles curiously, quite for- \ngetful of the presence of my mother or the \nsewing on my lap. \n\n\u201cWhat are you looking at?\u201d asked my \nmother sharply. \u201cCan you not get on with \nyour work?\u201d \n\n\u201cFancy, Mamma! The old lady is knit- \nting stockings\u201d. \n\n\u201cWhat old lady?\u201d began my mother, and \nthen I found I had made a mistake, for I \nsaw the well-known tightening of the lips and \nfrown on her brow as she continued: \u201cAre \nyou beginning again with that story? Have \nyou not learned yet, old as you are, that \nsuch romancing as this is despicable and \nwicked? Have I not told you over and over \nagain that I will not have it? You, a girl \nold enough to teach your brothers and set \nthem a good example, instead of doing so \nare more trouble to me than all the rest \nput together. You are constantly in some \ntomboyish mischief or else dreaming away \n\n\n20 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe time to the neglect of everything else, \ngazing into vacancy and hatching stories in \norder to frighten people. I thought as you \n\u2018grew older you\u2019 would have dropped this \nabsurd behaviour. I am thoroughly sick of \nwearying myself about you, for I don\u2019t know \nwhat is to be done to bring you to a sense \nof your abominable and wicked conduct\u201d. \n\nI listened to this tirade with a miserably \nswelling heart, but at the same time I gave \na surreptitious glance in the direction of my \nshadow lady wondering if she was a little \nsorry for me. \n\nI felt very sorry for myself and very \nmuch injured. I had a wretched suspicion \nthat there must be something wrong some- \nwhere in me. I had been told so often that \nI \u201cromanced\u201d and that I ought to be asham- \ned of telling things that were not true, but \nI had felt a kind of pity for the want of \nunderstanding in those who made such re- \nmarks. All the same I did not like to be \nsuspected of being untruthful. I wanted to \nbe good; I had tried my best and prayed \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 21 \n\n\ntill I was exhausted for help to become \nreally good and not vex people so much \n\u2014 my mother in particular. Many times had \nI knelt beside my bed and prayed till I was \novercome by sleep, that my dreams might \nleave me, or that I might not be tempted \nto speak of them. But alas! my efforts ne- \nver availed me much. \n\nSometimes, especially when my father was \nat home or we had people staying with us, \nmy shadow friends were invisible, and I forgot \nthem for a while, there being always so much \nelse to think about at such times. My father \nliked to have me with him and I rejoiced \nin his companionship. I had no companions \nof my own age, for I had been forbidden \nto associate with the girls who attended the \nsame school. I never had had any play- \nfellows except when my father was at home; \nthen, it seems to me, the tomboyishness in \nmy nature broke out and I became wild and \nexcited over the games and fun which he \nencouraged. \n\nAs soon as he was gone and the house \n\n\n22 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nresumed the ordinary quiet monotony of \neveryday life my dreams came back; my \nshadow friends returned to their usual haunts ' \nand I welcomed them gladly. They were \nsomething that belonged to me.and to me \nalone and I was secretly proud of having a \nworld of my very own to which no one else \nhad the entr\u00e9e. \n\nSometimes in my pleasure and wonder- \nment I felt that I must talk with someone \nabout these strange people whom no one \nbut myself seemed to see. My confidants \nwere usually an old servant and my grand- \nmother who came sometimes for a few weeks \nto stay with us. They always listened and \ncommented. It seemed to me they were \nsympathetic, at least grandmamma was, for \nthough she would tell me not to think or \ntalk about such queer things and not to tell \nfolks of my shadow people, yet she would \nmany times relate such wonderful stories of \nthe supernatural that I became thoroughly \nfrightened and never at ease again till I had \n\n\n\u2018my shadow friends around me once more. \n\n\n_ MY TROUBLES BEGIN. 23 \n\n\nIt never occurred to me that there was \nanything supernatural about them. I accept- \ned their presence as a matter of course and \nwas only nervous in their absence. I knew \nthat no one saw them but myself, but had \ngiven up attempting to explain that fact and \ncould only\u2019 account for it on the ground that \nsome people were \u201cqueer and dense\u201d. \n\nThat afternoon while I sat silently listen- \ning to my mother\u2019s remonstrances and com- \nplaints, with my eyes bent on the task I \nwas doing, my thoughts were busy trying \nto reason out the cause and extent of my \nwickedness, for I really felt that I deserved \nmany of the reproaches heaped upon me. \n\nI was idle, I knew that. Lessons tired \nme, and I could not understand the words \nI learned by heart; I could not remember \nin the morning the lessons I had read at \nnight; I could not work my sums correctly, \nand for these faults I was kept back in school. \nGrammar, geography, history, were so mudd- \nled together I scarcely knew one from the \nother. My writing was declared not fit to \n\n\n24 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbe seen, while as for sewing, which was my \nmother\u2019s strong point, I never took a needle \nin my hand but I would go wandering away \ninto dreamland and only be brought to a \nsense of everyday life by a sharp reminder. \n\nI thought of all these iniquities with a \nsigh, and felt that in some way or other I \nwas a mistake. I wondered why I could not \nbe like other girls. I could certainly get \ninto mischief, climb, play ball, ride, run, jump \nand take part in the games, led by my father \nand young cousins, and could compete in \nmost of the mischievous pranks perpetrated \nby them. It seemed to me I was a different \ncreature at these times. Left to myself I \nlapsed into the dreamy idleness of old, and \nin a now busy household this was an un- \npardonable sin. \n\nI felt all this and resolved that I would \nbe different. I would study hard; I would \nno longer be put down in my class for \nbadly written exercises and careless work; I \nwould sew; I would help. with the children; \nI would let them see I was good for some- \n\n\n\u201c10 ; : \u2018 i aR \n\n\nSHADOW LADY. \n\n\nDicitized by Google \n\n\n| Taos py \n\n\nNT \n\n\nebay \n\n\nASTO\u00ae, L=NCX AN \nTILDEN FOUNDATIONS \nR L \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 25 \n\n\nthing after all. As I made resolution after \nresolution of amendment, I felt myself growing \nquite good in anticipation of the marvel of \nobedience and industry I intended to become. \nI wondered if my shadow lady could hear \nand understand all this, and if she knew \nhow I was being scolded. \u2014 \n\nI wondered who she. \u2018was, if ever she had \nbeen a girl of fourteen and had had long \nseams to sew, and if she had: been scolded \nfor not doing them well. But it was knitting \nshe was doing, wasn\u2019t it? Perhaps she never \nhad sewing to do, but had to knit, knit, knit. \n\nI glanced up at her; yes, there she was \nknitting, her fingers moving rapidly. I could \nsee the needles flash under her swiftly moving \nfingers. I wondered at her cleverness, for \nher eyes were fixed not on her work but \non me. Mother could not knit for I had \nheard her say so. I thought. I would like \nto learn. It looked so pleasant and clever. \nI would ask grandmamma to teach me; I \nknew she could knit for I had seen her, but \nnot so well by a long way as my dear shadow \n\n\n\u2014\u2014_\u2014 ee eee eee \n\nt om @ene-e | \nEs : 1 \n\nte * aon F \n\n: \n\n\u2018 \n\n, a eo: * T& @ \n\nH \n\nSoasnciee JE s ~\u2018 \n\n\nDigitized by Go C \n\n\nYY TROURLES BEGIN, \n\n\nNy \ncwTY \n\n\nthing after all As [To made resolution after \nresolution of amendment, [ fols mvself erowin \nquite good if asticipation of the marvel \u00ab\u00e9 \nobedience and industry Tinton ted te hecome. \nT wondered if ay shadow lady cout hear \nand understand all this, and of she knew \nhow J was beiny srolded. \n\n} wemdepedd wher she was. fo over she had \nben a girl of femrteen and bid bad er \nseams to sem, ancl if she had heen se- \nfor mea danny teem well, But it wes <--cL- \nsie may leony, wasn\u2019t at? Perhans sos cer en \nhead aeomiry ty ele bat had to kes y- 2 eo \n\nI vianeerd vy at her: ves choy 5 \nanti. ger Enyers moving > \nsee te aeerles Sash under sos 7 \ngern =) wondered at * 7 ome. \n\nTer eyes were fixed ro\u201d \nom me Mother conl? - \n\nieee ter say \n\nco [eer Ie mi te \n\n0 % \n\n\n26 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nlady. I wondered if I could not learn from \nher, but no \u2014 she never began anything, \nand I must see how it began. Perhaps if \ngrandmamma would put on the stitches for \nme I could manage, for then I could watch \nthe shadow lady\u2019s fingers and try to do the \nsame \u2014 if only she would do it a little \nslower; grandmamma\u2019s fingers could not move \nso quickly if she tried ever so hard. I do \nnot believe I could count quicker than she \ntook off those loops \u2014 one, .two, three, four, \nfive; yes I could just keep time with her. \nWhy how soon one could knit all the stock- \nings required for the family. Mother would \nnot be able to say I was idle then. \n\nA sharp voice disturbed my calculations. \n\u201cWhy are you not sewing? It\u2019s no use me \nspeaking, you are certainly enough to try \nthe patience of a saint. You pay no atten- \n. tion to what I say, but do your very utmost \nto annoy and aggravate me. What are you \nlooking at? What is there in the corner?\u201d \n\nMy mothers querulous tones brought me \nback to a sense of my wrongdoing. \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 27 \n\n\n\u201cIt is only the old lady nee , i et \nplained, \u201cand\u201d \u2014 \n\n\u201cSilence, you wicked girl. Never mention \nsuch things to me again. I hear enough of \nyour falsehoods from others. How dare you \nrepeat them to me? Take up your work.\u201d \n\nI had let it fall in my fright when her \nvoice aroused me from dreaming. \n\n\u201cLet me see you lift your eyes from \nthat seam till it is finished, or glance in that \ndirection again, and I will box your ears \nthoroughly and see if that will help you to \nremember.\u201d \n\nShe was now really angry, and I \ntremblingly took up my work and resumed \nmy sewing in silence. \n\nO mother Eve! had you known what a \nlegacy you were leaving to your daughters, \nI wonder if the knowledge would not have \nStayed your hand from the forbidden fruit. \nWhat unconquerable longings have we not \ninherited, to do that one thing we have been \nforbidden to do! I did not want to raise \nmy eyes from my work, I really wanted to \n\n\n28 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ndo as I was told, but somehow the tempta- \ntion to see how the knitting was progressing, \nand whether the lady understood the state \nof affairs between my mother and me, was \ntoo strong and I looked over to where she \nwas, looked and suffered the threatened punish- \nment, for a stinging box on the ear brought \nme to a sense of my disobedience. \n\nI knew I deserved it, but that did not \nmend matters, and I cried and sobbed bitterly, \nnor could I restrain myself when the door \nwas opened and the doctor who was in attend- \nance on my mother at the time entered \nthe room. \n\nI rushed out when he came in and seated \nmyself on the stairs, and, covering my face \nwith my hands, wept in my grief and shame. \n\nAfter a while the door was opened and \nI was called in. Choking back the tears, I \nentered the room. My mother still sat in \nher easy chair looking disturbed and angry. \nThe doctor was walking the floor. As I \ncame in he sat down and taking me by the \nhand, patted it in a friendly manner and \nsaid kindly: \u2014 \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 29 \n\n\n\u201cI am sorry to see you crying, but you \nknow your Mamma is not well and you \nshould try to please her instead of vexing \nher so much. Tell me what all this story \nis about, that you see things other people \ndo not see, old women knitting and such \nlike. What is it all about? Tell me.\u201d \n\nHe looked kindly and sympathisingly at \nme, patted my hands, wiped the tears from \nmy eyes and urged me to talk. \n\nThus encouraged I told him of what \nthey called my fancies or my dreams, but \nwhich were no dreams or fancies but reali- \nties. I told him of the shadow people who \nwere our everyday guests; of the old lady \nwho worked so industriously and who looked \nso kindly at me, of her knitting, her clever- \nness; of the finely dressed gentleman with \nlong curling hair and the feathers in his hat \nand the sword by his side, and the large \nspurs on his heels; of the man with a frilled \ncollar which stood up round his neck, making \nhim look as though his head rested on a \nplate; of the ladies with silken dresses and \n\n\n30 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwhite hair, their frills and furbelows, their \ncurious manners \u2014 I told him all; and of \nmy troubles at not being believed and how \ndreadful it was to be suspected of falsehood. \n\n\u201cBut its true\u201d, I said, \u201cevery word; they \nare there and I do see them. I don\u2019t tell \nfalsehoods.\u201d \n\n\u201cYes\u201d, said the doctor, \u201cI believe you, I \ndon\u2019t think you mean to tell untruths.\u201d \n\nOh! how my heart bounded at these \nwords and went out to the man who be- \nlieved me. \n\n\u201cYes, I believe you see these things that \nother people do not see, I have known of \nothers who have done the same, who have \nseen men and women and animals which did \nnot really exist. But these people were mad. \nThey persisted that they saw shadows moving \n.about them, that they saw old men or women \nwaiting about in corners. They have gone \non seeing, first one thing, and then another, \ntill they have become dangerous and we \nhave had to send them to a lunatic asylum \nto be taken care of.\u201d \n\n\nMY TROUBLES BEGIN. 31 \n\n\nIt seemed to me that his words froze \nthe blood in my veins. I could only stare \nat him in horrified silence. Was this then \nthe meaning of it all? Was this the secret \nof the beautiful dream world in which I had \nspent so many happy hours? Were my \nshadow friends not there? Did they not \nexist? Was every one right when they said \nthey were not there, and only I wrong? \n\nI saw them \u2014 in that I was not mis- \ntaken \u2014 but if they did not exist and I \nsaw something which had no existence, it \nwas clear there was something wrong. I had \nnever thought of the matter like this before, \nbut now \u2014 horrible thought \u2014 I must be \ngrowing mad. \n\nAll that day and night I suffered tor- \nments. To be mad \u2014 what did it mean \nto be mad? I thought of all the dreadful \nthings I had heard, of crimes committed by \nmaniacs, of the horrors of mad houses, of \npadded rooms, irons, strait-waistcoats; and I \nshivered with fear, and prayed almost frantic- \nally that I might be kept from going mad. \n\n\nCHAPTER III. \nAM I GOING MAD? \n\n\nMy soul its secret hath, My life its mystery \nHopeless the evil is, I have not told its history. \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nTue more I reflected, the more I became \nconvinced that the doctor was right, and the \nhorror and fear nearly deprived me of my \nsenses. \n\nThough nearly fourteen years of age I \nwas singularly childish in many ways. Brought \nup, as I had been, almost isolated from other \nchildren outside of the family circle, and sel- \ndom admitted to the society of the elder \nmembers of the family, I had grown up very \nignorant of many things with which girls of \nthe same age are perfectly conversant, and \nin this trouble I had no one to help or advise \nme. My father was away, and my grand- \n\n\nAM I GOING MAD. 33 \n\n\nmother, who was always kind, was in her \nown home or making her usual long period- \nical visit to some one of her children. \n\nOur old nurse was there, but somehow \nI disliked to confide in her, for if I were \nreally mad, then the fewer who knew it the \nbetter, and I must talk to no one of the \nillusions to which I was a victim. \n\nI wondered if madness could be cured \nby medicine, and if the doctor could not do \nsomething to help me. Perhaps it was only \nsomething wrong with my eyes, for I remem- \nbered with a pang that whenever I had vol- \nuntarily or involuntarily put out my hand \nto touch the shadow people when passing \nme, my hand had not come in contact with \nanything although I had remarked that they \nshrank from my touch. From this circum- \nstance I had called them \u201cshadow people\u201d, \nbut hitherto I had not thought much about \nit. Thinking over it now, I wondered if it \nwere not my eyes which played me false. \nThis idea was a much pleasanter one than \nthat I was mad, but the fear haunted me \n\n3 \n\n\n34 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nnevertheless night and day. -I remembered \na servant telling me that one ofthe practices \nin mad houses\u2019 was that of tickling the soles \nof patients feet; she had read it in a book \ncalled \u201cValentine Vox\u201d, she said, and knew \nit was true. I could not bear to have my \nfeet tickled, I knew that; but perhaps it would \nnot make me laugh so much if they kept \nit up very long. I wondered if mad people \nlived very long. I was afraid they did, for \nI remembered an old, old man who some- \ntimes went about the neighbourhood selling \nclothes pegs or begging; I remembered his \nstopping our servant one day and frightening \nher with terrible oaths and curses. He was \nmad, she said. I wondered if I should ever \nbe like him and learn to swear or go about \nwith unwashed face and unbrushed hair. \nMuch \u2018better to be locked up in a mad house \nthan that. \n\nAll the horrors of mad houses that I had \never heard of passed through my mind be- \nfore I slept that night after the interview \nwith the doctor, and I resolved that as long \n\n\nAM I GOING MAD. 35 \n\n\nas was possible I would hide my real con- \ndition from everyone. If I were mad then \nno one should know it and perhaps after \nall it was a curable malady for it was not \nalways that I was so afflicted. Occasionally, \nmonths at a time, the shadows would vanish \nand only return when I was alone and in- \ndisposed for work .or study; then I welcomed \nthem with rejoicing. \n\nAfter this time everything was changed; \nmy pleasure. in seeing the shadowy forms \nflit by me or meet me on the stairs and \npassages gave place to a sinking feeling of \ndesolation and fear. I had no cause for \npleasure now in the sight of the familiar \nforms, for were they not so many evidences \nthat my disease was not leaving me? \n\nPresently another idea came to me. It \nwas Satan who caused my eyes to see things \nwhich did not exist. This threw a new light \non the subject and I was almost glad, for \nanything was better than being mad. If it \nwere Satan, then God could help me, and I \nknew He would. \n\n\n36 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nAfter this a glimpse of a shadow, whether \nreal or imaginary, sent me to my bedroom \nand on my knees to pray. Many times, \nmorning, noon, or night, I was driven to my \nknees to implore deliverance from the machi- \nnations of the evil one. \n\nI became shy, timid, and nervous, \u2014 afraid \nto move from one room to another; afraid \nto remain alone at any time day or night, \nwatchful of my every word lest I should \nbetray my madness; afraid lest anyone should \nnotice that I turned my eyes in any direction \nbut that in which I was going, for fear \nthey should suppose I saw the \u201cshadow \npeople\u201d. I became eager for occupation, and \nafraid of being without work of some kind, \nbecause I had learned the hymn wherein \nwe were told that Satan finds mischief for \nidle hands. \n\nThe Bible became my constant companion, \neither carried in my pocket by day or clasped \nto my breast at night. With this I fancied \nI was armed against the powers of evil. \n\nHow long this state of things lasted I \n\n\nAM I GOING MAD. 37 \n\n\ndo not quite remember, though it seems to \nme I grew years older in the months that \nelapsed before my fathers next home-coming. \n\nHe was a little disturbed at my pale \nface and want of flesh and questioned me \nas to my scared nervous manner. \n\n\u201cShe is growing\u2019, said mamma; \u201call girls \nget pale and thin when they grow as fast \nas she is doing\u201d. \n\n\u201cI would rather she did not grow if it \nmakes her look so pale and delicate\u2019, said \nmy father. \u201cShe should be out more, and \nnot kept poring over those stupid books \nand sewing. We must see if she cannot \nhave some change that will put a little color \nin those pale cheeks\u201d. \n\nAfter many plans had been proposed, \ndiscussed, and rejected, it was ultimately de- \ncided that, in default of anything better, \nI should accompany my father on his vessel \nduring a cruise in the Mediterranean, which \ncruise he expected to last two or three months. \n\n\nCHAPTER IV. \n_ A SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. \n\n\nThere is a spectre ship, quoth he, \nA ship of the dead that sails the sea, \nAnd is called the Carmilhan. a \nA ghostly ship, with a ghostly crew \nIn tempests she appears \nAnd before the gale, or against the gale, \nShe sails without a rag of sail, \nWithout a helmsman steers. \nLONGFELLow. \n\n\nThis holiday was without exception the \nhappiest time of my life. Everything was \nnew, fresh and delightful. The great vessel \nitself was a source of never failing interest. \nMy father\u2019s love of animals, restricted at \nhome, here had full sway and one part of \nth\u00e9 vessel was quite a little menagerie. Fowls, \ngeese, pigs and a couple of goats occupied \ntheir respective pens. The goats had been \nbrought for the purpose of supplying me with \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 39 \n\n\nmilk, which, however, I disliked; but they \nprovided me with considerable amusement, par- \nticularly at milking time, when they seemed \nto find their greatest delight in evading the \nattempts of the boy to milk them. \n\nThe sky-lights of the saloon were filled. \nwith choice flowering plants and among them \nhung cages of singing birds. The most re- \nmarkable member of the menagerie was, \nhowever, a black monkey whose mischievous \npranks were at once the torment and delight \nof every creature on the vessel. It was ex- \ntravagantly fond of my father, but for some \ncause or other it never took kindly to me. \nFather said it was jealous. Perhaps it was, \nfor we noticed many times that if my father \ncaressed me, the little creature would go away \nto its cushion in the corner and sit looking \nsad and melancholy, nor would it leave its \nplace so long as I remained beside him. \n\nLast, but not least, was Jack, an immense \nNewfoundland dog, who was an old acquaint- \nance and who from my coming on board \n\n\n40 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe vessel seemed to constitute himself my \ninseparable companion and protector. \n\nI soon became acquainted with all on \nboard, both officers and men, and with so \nmany companions and play-fellows, so many \nnew interests, new friends, new scenes, and \nthe never ceasing newness of sea and sky, \nthe whole of this sunny holiday became \u2014 \n\n\nas I called it then and since \u2014 simply \n\u201cheavenly\u201d\u2019. \n\nOne of my particular friends on board \nwas the chief officer, Lieutenant N\u2014. Al- \n\n\nthough chief officer he was the youngest \namong them; though, to my childish ideas \nof age, anyone above twenty seemed well \non in years. It was he who superintended \nthe daily lessons which my father, in defer- \nence to my mother\u2019s wishes had undertaken \nto see religiously carried out, therefore in- \nsisted upon. \n\nBut father\u2019s weak point \u2014 or greatest \nvirtue, as it seemed to me \u2014 was clemency, \nand a few coaxing words or a kiss would \ngenerally buy off an hour\u2019s study. As I \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 4! \n\n\ngained in health I proved a refractory pupil. \nIt was impossible to study when the sun \nwas shining, or the birds twittering, or the \ndog and monkey were heard gambolling \noverhead. As I closed my books, my father \nwould shake his head, and say, \u201cWell, just \nthis once but no more\u2019. Lieutenant N. then \nundertook my education, and between the \ntwo I managed to do pretty much as I \npleased. The only item of knowledge which \nI remember to have acquired was to \u201cBox \nthe compass\u201d which I did many times to \nthe delight of my new friends, who admired \nmy proficiency in gabbling over the degrees \nfrom North to South and from South back \nto North again. \n\nCertainly I learned many things with re- \nspect to the places we visited. The history \nof the Italian towns, modes, manners and \ncustoms of the people, the discoveries and \nexcavations of Pompeii were taught me in \na manner which impressed themselves on my \nmind as no amount of reading could have \ndone. \n\n\n42 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nIn short it was a perfectly enjoyable \neducation. My dreams and strange fancies \nleft me. My shadow friends were forgotten: \nMy sleepwalking to which I had been ad- \ndicted was cured, and I was, like other girls \nof my age, healthy, happy, full of mischiev- \nous fun and tomboyish tricks, disliking con- \nfinement and restriction, and delighting in \nlittle adventures, especially if a spice of danger \nwere connected with them. In these I was \naided and abetted by the Lieutenant, who \nwas constantly planning fresh diversion while \nat sea or arranging excursions when in \nharbour. \n\nMy father allowed me to do pretty much \nas I liked, though he sometimes pretended \nto look dubiously on some of the proposals, \n\u2018and wonder what mamma would say, if she \nknew. Still he was delighted at my improved \nhealth and spirits and would frequently re- \nmark that no one would know me when we \nreturned home. He usually accompanied \nme on my shopping expeditions and supplied \nme with money for my numerous purchases, \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 43 \n\n\nso that I felt like a millionaire when at last \nwe were recalled to England, and I surveyed \nthe amount of property I had accumulated \nduring the three months we had cruised \nabout among the quaint towns of the Italian \ncoast. My possessious, I found, included \nslippers, gloves, eau de cologne, corals, shells \nand marble ornaments, vases, paperweights \nof mosaic work, needle cases, and scent bottles \nof lava. \u2014 The consideration of how to dis- \npose of these treasures among my friends \nat home gave me great pleasure and exer- \ncised my thoughts very fully for many a day. \nThen occured an incident so strange and \nincomprehensible that it cast a shadow over \nthis happy holiday and brought back to me \nthe sense of my former everyday life and \nits trouble which I had almost forgotten. \nThe day had been intensely warm, so \nthat the breeze caused \u2018by the swift progress \nof the steamer was extremely refreshing. The \nsun was setting in a bed of fire. The sky \nwas wonderful in its beauty of colour, \u2014 \ncrimson, gold, yellow and opal. The sea \n\n\n44 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwas smooth and still, not a ripple to be seen \nexcept in our wake, where the curling white \nfoam reflected the beauty of the colours \nabove it, making one of the loveliest scenes \non earth. \n\nLieutenant N. was on the bridge, and I, \nas usual stood beside him, eagerly discussing \nthe events of the past few days, the scenes \nwe had passed through, the merits or de- \nmerits of the purchases made on our last \nexcursion on shore. My tongue was, as my \nfather often put it, \u201crunning nineteen to the \ndozen\u201d. We had during our conversation \nremarked several vessels in the distance and \nthe subject of the purchases having been \ndiscussed and dismissed, I turned my atten- \ntion to the ships, anxious to show my ability \nto distinguish one class of ship from another, \nand classify them sailor fashion. Lieutenant \nN. and I did not agree as to whether a \nvessel outlined against the skyline was schooner \nor brig, I persisting that it was the one and \nhe the other. \n\n\u201cTake my glasses and you will see I am \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 45 \n\n\nnight\u201d, he suggested, offering me his tele- \nscope. \n\nI turned to exchange glasses with him \nwhen I was almost petrified by seeing a large \nvessel close before the bows of our own. \nWe had been looking aft during our con- \nversation, and, intent on our argument, had \nnot noticed for a few minutes what was going \non forwards. \n\n\u201cLook, look!\u201d I cried fearfully. \n\n\u201cWhat at?\u201d asked my companion. \n\n\u201cAt the ship! Won't you stop? We \nare going to meet \u2014 Stop, stop! Why \ndon\u2019t you stop?\u201d I gasped in terror, for the \nvessel was so close that the men on her \ndeck could be clearly distinguished, and we \nwere nearing each other with frightful ra- \npidity. \n\n\u201cWhat ails you, child? What ship? What \ndo you mean? Why should we stop?\u201d \n\nI grasped his arm and turned him round, \nfor he was looking at me in surprise, not \nat the vessel we were swiftly approaching. \n\n\u201cNow can you not see?\u201d I screamed. \n\n\n46 . SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cAre you blind?\u2019 And in my fright I shook \nhim, repeating \u201cThe ship! the ship! stop! \nstop! stop!\u201d \n\nHe took no notice of what I said, but \nloosened himself from my frantic clutch and \ndrew me down on a seat that had been \nplaced for me in a sheltered corner. My \nonly idea however, being that we were going \nheadlong to destruction and that I must be \nwith my father, I struggled from his grasp \nand was rushing from the bridge when he \ncaught and held me, insisting that I should \nbe still. \n\n\u201cHow can I be still when you are going \nto drown us all? Let me go. Father! Fa- \nther!\u201d I moaned, struggling anew. \n\nThen \u2018I cowered down and hid my face \nagainst his arm, for the strange ship was \nnow looming full over our bows, her white \nsails gleaming rosy red in the light of the \nsetting sun. One. man on her deck was \nleaning with folded arms against the bull- \nwarks watching the on-coming of our vessel. \nAll this I saw. in the brief glance I gave \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 47 \n\n\nbefore hiding my face. Everything turned \nblack before me, my heart stood still while \nI waited for the inevitable crash. Oh, the \nagony of those moments! No lapse of time \nwill efface from my memory the thoughts \nthat rushed through my brain while waiting \nfor the meeting of the two vessels. It seem- \ned to me that a lifetime was crowded into \nthat second. \n\n\u201cWhat is the matter, why are you so \nafraid?\u2019 said Lieutenant N. putting his other \narm round my shoulders. But I could not \nanswer, I could only moan and tremble. \n\nThe crash was long in coming. I ven- \ntured at last to raise my eyes. The vessel \nhad disappeared! The relief was so great \nthat a sob almost choked me, and the tears \nbegan to stream down my cheeks. \u201cWhere \nis it? Which way did it go?\u2019 I stammered \nwhen I could get out the words. \n\n\u201cI don\u2019t know what you are talking about\u2019, \nreplied the Lieutenant. \u201cThere has been no \nship near us. Do you think I should not \nhave seen it had there been one?\u201d\u2019. \n\n\n48 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nI stood up and glanced uneasily round. \nThere in our wake was the vessel with her \nsails fully set. I saw each rope of the rigg- \ning and noticed that the sails, this time \nbetween the setting sun and me, were not \nrosy red as before, when the red glow lay \nfull on them, but grey. I saw the men \nmoving about on the deck. I saw the \npennant flying at the mast head. The vessel \ndid not seem to be fifty feet from us, but \nthe distance was rapidly increasing. It was \nquite clear to me that we had in some \nway passed through each other and were now \nspeeding on our different ways. \n\n\u201cCan you not see it now?\u201d I asked, \npointing to the receding ship. \n\n\u201cI can see nothing\u2019\u2019, replied he shortly. \n\nThe sharpness of his tone and the re- \naction of the intense excitement I had under- \ngone were too much for me and I gave \nway to tears and sobs, refusing to be com- \nforted in spite of all the soothing words of \nmy friend. I felt horribly tired and trembling. \nThe tears would fall, although I tried to \n\n\nA daca thi fy as J taw t- \nLtt tie Wincde deta tencecis. 222 (86) \n\n\nfrom the SS, Melivtatieas \n(heched fir Mteri1ely, \n\n\n4 ysg \nSAA# \n\n\n\u2014 \nGLA \n\n\nThe \u00bbShadow Ship\u00bb. \n\n\n; Google \n\n\nTHE Niw YK \nPUBLIC TARY \n\n\nASTOR, L=NvX AND \nTILDEN FOUNDATIONS \nR L \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SHADOW SHIP. 49 \n\n\nsubdue them, till at last Lieutenant N. sug- \ngested that I should go to my state-room \nand rest, adding \u201cBut don\u2019t awaken your papa, \nand don\u2019t tell him what frightened you or \nwhat you saw\u201d\u2019. \n\nI nodded my head and went slowly down \nto my cabin. I wished he had not told me \nnot to awaken papa and not to tell him, for \nit would have soothed and comforted me to \nhave told him all. \n\nI paused at his door, listening for some \nsign of his being awake, for I think in spite \nof all I should have gone to him, but there \nwas no sound except of deep breathing; so I \nwent to my little stateroom and crept into \nbed, crying myself miserably to sleep. \n\nMy waking thoughts next morning \u2018were \nof the mysterious vessel and the strange behav- \niour of Lieutenant N. My first impulse was \nto rush to my father and tell him all about \nit; so I hastened to dress in order to catch \nhim before he went to the breakfast table. \nWhile brushing my hair and thinking it all \nover it struck me as very curious that \n\n4 \n\n\n50 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nLieutenant N. wished me not to tell my \nfather. Then it flashed on me that it was \nbecause my father would blame him in some \nway for going so close to the strange vessel. \nAlthough no damage had been done, I knew \nthat for a steamer to come into such near \nproximity to a sailing vessel was a breach \nof the rules of the road. I had been told \nthat a steamer must always make way for \na sailing ship, or in sailor parlance \u201cgive \nher a wide berth\u201d on the open sea, and knew \nthat in allowing his vessel to come so close \nto the other Lieutemant N. had committed \na breach of the law which would make my \nfather very angry. \n\nI remembered, too, that I had been cau- \ntioned many times about chattering to the \nofficer in charge, while he was very busy \nor engaged in directing the course of the \nsteamer, and I could not help admitting to \nmyself that I had been chattering to him \nhard enough just then. So this then was \nwhy my father must not be told. I began \nto understand that something both unpleasant \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY AND A SITADOW SHIP. 51 \n\n\nand serious might result to Lieutenant N. \ndid my father learn of the catastrophe we \nhad so narrowly escaped. I mentally resolved \nthat I at least would not get my friend into \ntrouble. With this resolution I seemed to \nput an uncomfortable burden on my shoul- \nders, but I was glad to bear it for my \nfriend\u2019s sake. All that day, though we met, \nwalked and talked together as usual, the oc- \ncurrence of the previous evening was not \nmentioned. \n\nThe following day at dinner, my father \nasked me why I had cried the other evening \nbecause I had fancied I saw a ship. This \nway of putting it caused the indignant blood \nto mount to my face and tingle to my very \nfinger tips. I knew not what to say, till an \namused laugh from Lieutenant N. and the \nsmiles of the others at the table, told me \nthat the affair was no secret. This was too \nmuch for me and my resolution, and I ra- \npidly poured forth the whole of the story. \nI spoke quickly and passionately, the whole \nterror of the scene coming back as I related it. \n\n\n52 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cTell me quietly\u201d, said my father, when \nI had finished with a sob. \n\nI repeated the story. \n\n\u201cWhy did you not tell me when you \ncame below?\u201d \n\n\u201cLieutenant N. said I might not awaken \nyou. I wanted to tell you yesterday, and \nwas going to do so, but I thought you \nwould be angry with him for going so near \nthe ship, and thought that was why he didn\u2019t \nwish me to tell you. So I didn\u2019t and I\u2019m sorry \nI\u2019ve told you now, only he laughed at me\u201d, \nI concluded resentfully. \n\nAfter this my father left me and went \nto talk with the officers on deck. I heard \nno more of the matter till later in the day \nwhen he came to me and told me, in a vexed \ntone, that I must never make such an upset \nor say such things as these again. He had, \nhe said, made very careful enquiry of the \nmen on watch as to the vessel, which I de- \nclared I had seen, but they all maintained \nthat no such vessel had passed near us since \nleaving port nor had they noticed anything \n\n\nA SUNNY HOLIDAY -AND A SHADOW SHIP. 53 \n\n\nexcept that I was crying bitterly. Thus the \nwhole matter was shrouded in mystery, and \nI saw plainly that I must not expect to be \nbelieved in the face of so much evidence to \nthe contrary. \n\nThe old weight of anxiety and dread \nthat had lifted itself from my heart during \nthe long holiday seemed to again settle down \nupon me. I began to wonder and speculate \nas to the possibility of there being shadow \nships as well as shadow people. In short \nthe old trouble came back and made me \nheavy-hearted and wretched, though the va- \nrious little excitements incident to the life on \nboard ship prevented me taking it so seriously \nas I had done previously. \n\nAfter this my holiday was spoiled. A \nsomething had arisen between my father and \nme, \u2014 a cloud, slight it is true, yet it formed \nan intangible barrier to our pleasant relation- \nship. He thought me guilty of falsehood, \nand I was miserable and indignant at being \nunder suspicion. \n\nNor could I disabuse my mind entirely \n\n\n54 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nfrom the idea that Lieutenant N. desired to \nscreen his non-observation of the vessel by \npersisting that it had never been there. I \nwas also indignant with him for mentioning \nthe matter after he had forbidden me to do \nso. A long time after this I asked him why \nhe had told me not to tell papa and he \nreplied, \u2014 \u201cBecause you were in such a \nstate of agitation and excitement, that I \nthought it would not be good if your father \nscolded you for having such silly fancies \n\u2014 that was all\u2019. \n\nHowever my holiday was spoiled, and I \nbegan to long for the end of our voyage. \n\n\nCHAPTER V. \nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. \n\n\n\u201cIn the same hour came forth fingers of a man\u2019s hand, \nand wrote over against the candlestick upon the plaster \nof the wall of the king\u2019s palace; and the king saw the \n\n\npart of the hand that wrote\u201d. \nDANIEL Chap. V verse 5. \n\n\nDurine the next year or two, which I spent \nat school, I was to a great extent free from \nboth dreams and shadows. My education \nhad been greatly neglected, and in order to \nmake up for this I was obliged to work \nrather hard. I had been placed in a class \nof girls much younger than myself, and even \nhere I found myself more ignorant of the \nordinary rudiments of education than my \nClass-mates, but in less than a year I had \nworked myself up till I was allowed to read \nmany subjects with the girls in the highest \nClasses. \n\nMy health was good, my work was a \npleasure, and I pursued it eagerly. Fun and \nfrolic, too, among girls of my own age were \n\n\n56 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ndelightful experiences from their very newness \nand soon no game was complete without me. \nThis spirit of fun had some disadvantages, \nfor after a while I was generally credited \nwith being the ringleader in any mischief \nthat might be discovered; but, tkis notwith- \nstanding, I enjoyed my studies and liked \nmy teachers. \n\nThe last term which I attended happened \nalso to be the last term for several of the \nolder pupils. At the end of it an examina- \ntion of more than usual importance was to \nbe held, and both teachers and pupils seemed \ndesirous of doing credit to themselves. \n\nFor some weeks previous to the first of \nJune our amusements had been laid aside \nand our usual noisy sitting-room had been \ntransformed into a quiet study, where we \nsat, after the day\u2019s work was over, busied \nwith the preparation of such special tasks as \nwould have a telling effect at the semi-public \nexamination. \n\nMy own work was to a great extent com- \nplete, with the exception of an essay which \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 57 \n\n\nI was expected to write. My attempts in \nthat line hitherto had been ignominious fail- \nures; in fact such essays as had been sent \nin under my signature owed rather more to \nthe help of a classmate than to my unaided \nefforts. It was an open secret in our class \nthat Lydia Olive\u2019s translations and my essays \nought in reality to have borne reversed signa- \ntures. This time it had been announced in \na severe tone, specially directed to us two, \nthat these essays must be absolutely and \nentirely original, and that no one was to \noffer, or accept, help in their composition. \nIf I remember rightly, the subject selected \nfor me was \u201cNature\u201d or \u201cWhat is nature?\u201d \nAs one week after another brought the end \nof the term nearer, I was many times in \ndespair because of my inability to put to- \ngether a dozen lines on the subject. Many \ntimes I began, \u201cNature is the Mother of us \nall\u201d or \u201cNature comprises all that is in the \nUniverse\u201d, and just as many times I stopped. \nNot another sentence could I find that did \nnot seem crude, disjointed, or even absurd. \n\n\n58 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nSheet after sheet of paper I destroyed and \nmade an elaborate beginning on another, only \nto end in the same manner. Every evening \nas I put away the writing materials I won- \ndered what would become of me if the next \nday brought no better result. Every night \nI went to bed with the determination not to \ngo to sleep but to think it out and commit \nthe result of my thinking to paper first thing \nin the morning, but alas! after putting my \nhead on my pillow my resolutions were of \nno avail, and I was no nearer the completion \nof my task. \n\nThe days seemed to fly. The girls were \nnow busily employed in carefully recopying \ntheir pencilled notes. I looked miserably on \nat the progress of the copper-plate-like writing; \nI saw the elaborate signature and the com- \nplacent smiles with which each girl regarded \nthe document before her. But it was of no \nuse; the more I tried the more stupid I \nbecame. I could only cry in secret over \nmy trouble. \n\nMany times I shut myself in the bedroom \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 59 \n\n\nand on my knees prayed that I might have \nsome ideas given to me, but praying seemed \nof no use, my head was as empty as ever. \n\n\u201cNature is the mother of us all\u201d, began \nto ring in my ears and dance before my \neyes. The words seemed to chase each other \nin my empty head, playing at leap frog, \njumping and dodging each other till I some- \ntimes laughed aloud at the thought. \n\nIt wanted only three or four days to the \ngreat day. All our drawings, papers, and \nhand-work had been collected and the essays \nhad been sent in. When asked for mine I \nfalteringly explained that it was not ready. \nI was told that I had very little time left \nand it must be prepared without further delay. \n\nThat night I provided myself with a \ncandle, paper, and pencils, and after we had \nretired I sat up in bed determined to accom- \nplish something. I had written those dread- \nful words again when some grumbling voices \ntold me to put out the light or their owners \nwould do it for me. There was no alter- \nnative but to obey. I could only turn my \n\n\n60 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nface to the wall and cry till I fell asleep, \nresolving to wake early, as soon as it was \nlight, and write something no matter what. \n\nNext morning, however, I did not awake \ntill some one threw a wet sponge at me, \nwhen I was aroused to a miserable consci- \nousness of my inability to keep to my resolu- \ntions. \n\nMy first glance was at the sheets of paper \nand pencils lying unused on the table beside \nmy bed; they were strewn in disorder, some \non the floor. Stooping with a heavy heart \nand head to gather them up, I saw that \nmost of them were covered with writing. My \nfirst thought was naturally that I had by \nmistake brought written sheets instead of clean \nones to my room the night before, but a \nsecond glance shewed me that the writing \nwas my own. Puzzled and bewildered I sat \non the bed-side in my night gown, unheeding \nthe raillery of my companions who were dres- \nsing and making fun of my laziness, or studi- \nous mood, as they called it by turns. But \nI was absorbed in the writing and did not \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 61 \n\n\nnotice them. Page after page I read eagerly, \nastonished and delighted. \n\nI did not know how the writing had \ncome there, and at first I did not think \nabout it at all, only of the pleasure I had \nin reading the beautiful thoughts, expressed \nin the neatly turned poetical sentences. \n\u201cLook here, girls\u201d, I said; \u201clisten to this\u201d, \nand I began to read aloud: \u2014 \u201cIn the be- \nginning God created the heaven and the \nearth, and the earth brought forth grass and \nherb yielding seed after its kind and the \ntree yielding fruit whose seed was in itself \nafter his kind, and God saw that it was \ngood.\u201d \n\n\u201cOh, stop, stop\u2019, they exclaimed; but I \nwent on page after page in which was un- \nfolded as in a picture the vision of the new \nworld opening up its first glorious beauty \nunder the new Sun, new Moon, new Stars, \neach fresh development more rich in beauty \nand wonder than the last; from the circling \nstars pursuing their appointed course to the \n\n\n62 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ntiny blade of grass absorbing its rich colour \nfrom the rays of sunlight. \n\nSo eagerly did I read that I did not \nnotice that my hearers were far from feeling \nthe same rapturous delight as myself, and \nnot till I reached the end was I conscious \nof the sneering remarks and expressions of \nopinion as to my pretended inability to write \nan essay. : \n\nIt was with curious feelings I entered \nthe schoolroom that morning, I scarcely no- \nticed the coolness and ill-humour of my \nclass-mates, for my head was filled with pic- \ntures which the mysterious writing had called \nup. I felt restless and excited, impatient till \nthe half hour\u2019s recess gave me an opportunity \nof re-reading it. It was not till then that the \nstrangeness of the whole thing struck me. \n\n\u201cHow had it come?\u201d \u201cWho had written \nit?\u201d \u201cWhen had it been written?\u2019 Then \nthe thought that someone was playing a trick \non me made me half frightened; but no, it was \nin my own handwriting, this was unmistak- \nable. No one could dispute that fact. I \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 63 \n\n\nmust have written it, but when? In my \nsleep? I had heard of such things, but the \nthoughts were not mine. I had a miserable \nfeeling that I was utterly incapable of putting \ntogether half a dozen sentences, let alone \nthese beautifully rounded periods, \u2014 so po- \netical, yet so strong, that in reading them \none was carried away on wings of fancy to \nthe scene of Nature\u2019s birthplace. \n\nAll that day I was tormented by self- \ninflicted arguments for and against claiming \nthe ownership of the writings, and hurt by \nthe innuendoes of my companions, that my \ninability to write an essay had only been \na pretence or ruse to get them to send in \ntheir work and then come in last with mine \nwith which I intended to utterly eclipse them. \n\nMore than once I decided not to use it, \nbut the temptation was very great. \n\nThe matter soon reached the ears of \nour head mistress and I was requested to \nbring the papers to her private room, which \nI did in fear and trembling. Telling me to \nbe seated, she took the sheets of paper and \n\n\n64 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nglanced rapidly over the first page, then, \nlooking at me with the coldly severe coun- \ntenance with which she usually regarded de- \n\n\nlinquents, she said: \u2014 \u201cWhere did you get \nthis? Have you copied it from any book?\u2019\u2019, \n\u201cNo Ma\u2019am\u201d\u2019. \n\n\n\u201cBe good enough to explain\u201d, she con- \ntinued. \n\nI then told her timidly how I had failed \nin all my attempts to write an essay on the \nsubject chosen for me, and of my distress \nin consequence; how I usually took pencil \nand paper to my room at night in readiness \nto write anything I could think of after I \nwent to bed, because it seemed easier to \nthink when one was lying down; but how I \nalways went to sleep and never had any \nthoughts that I could remember next morn- \ning. I told her how on the last night I \nhad prayed for thoughts, and tried to write in \nbed, but had been obliged by the grumbling \nof the other girls to put out the light and I \nhad lain down and wept till I fell asleep; \n\n\n\u2018THE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 65 \n\n\nthen how I had found the papers\u2019 covered \nwith writing next morning when I awakened. \n\n\u201cThen who do you suppose wrote it?\u201d \nasked Madame. \n\nI answered that I could only suppose I \nhad done it myself, since the writing was my \nown and the two pencils were used quite \ndown into the wood, showing that they had \ndone service. \n\n\u201cBut you have no recollection of writing \nit?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cThen do you consider it honest to pass \nit as your own?\u201d \n\nThis was the question that was troubling \nme and I tremblingly said: \u2014 \u201cI don\u2019t know \nwhat to do; I want somebody to tell me \nwhat. is right; it makes me so unhappy not \nto know.\u201d \n\nAnd the tears, never very far off, were \nnow falling down my cheeks. I think my \nevident distress must have softened her opin- \ni\u00e9n of me for she answered quite kindly, \n\u201cT will read it through and think the matter \n\n5 \n\n\n66 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nover, and then tell you what I think is your \nduty.\u201d So I left the room with a lightened \nheart glad to have shifted the responsibility \non to the shoulders of another and a wiser \nperson than myself. \n\nAn hour later I was recalled to the room, \nwhere, to my dismay, the Rector sat in con- \nversation with Madame. The matter to my \nidea had now assumed a terrible importance, \nand I became thoroughly nervous. \n\n\u201cThe Rector wishes to know all about \nthis writing; be good enough to tell him \nfrom the beginning,\u201d said Madame. \n\nSo I repeated the story I had told her, \nand then was subjected to a series of cross- \nquestions. \n\nWhat books had I read bearing on this \nsubject? \n\nI did not remember reading any except \nthe Bible, and the books we used in school. \n\n\u201cHave you ever written any such essays \nbefore you came to school?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d I was sure of that. \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 67 \n\n\n\u201cWhat makes you suppose then that you \nhave written this?\u2019 \n\n\u201cIt is my own hand-writing, and it is on \nthe paper I took to bed with me.\u201d \n\n\u201cDid you ever do anything when you were \nasleep that you could not remember when \nyou awoke?\u201d \n\nI hesitatingly answered \u201cYes.\u201d I knew \nthat I had gone into my brother\u2019s room \nseveral times but had not believed it till he \nonce awakened me there. And once [ cut \nmy hand, which a servant bound up, but I \nknew nothing of it till I awakened next morn- \ning; and people had told me that I used \nto walk in my sleep when I was younger, \nbut I thought I had grown out of the habit \nnow. \n\n\u201cBut you have never done any of your \nlessons or your exercises in your sleep?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cThen how do you account for your \ndoing so on this occasion?\u201d \n\n\u201cI don't know, only I had prayed so that \nGod would help me to find thoughts that I \n\n\n68 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthink perhaps He helped me when I slept. \nI don\u2019t know any other way it could have \nbeen done.\u201d \n\nSome conversation ensued between Ma- \ndame and the Rector, in which I heard allu- \nsions to a similar circumstance which had \nhappened in some foreign land, where a \nyoung over-worked student had written a \nvery learned treatise on some scientific sub- \nject, which was afterwards of the greatest \npossible value. In the end the papers were \nhanded to me with instructions to copy the \nessay carefully, and send it in with the rest \nof my work. \n\n\u201cIt is a very unusual circumstance,\u201d said \nthe Rector as he gave me the papers, \u201cbut \nas it is undoubtedly your own hand-writing \nand as Madame Whittingham tells me that \nshe has never had any reason to doubt your \nperfect truthfulness and honesty, we have no \nright to reject this, strange as it is. We have \nheard of similar occurences, and though va- \nrious theories have been put forward to ac- \ncount for them, I am inclined to accept your \n\n\nTHE MYSTERIOUS ESSAY. 69 \n\n\nown explanation of it and say that God helped \nyou because you prayed Him to do so.\u201d \n\nNever did a heart beat more joyfully \nthan did mine, as, clasping the precious pa- \npers to my breast, I ran to the little study to \nbegin the work of copying them. I seemed \nto have won a victory. I had been acknow- \nledged truthful and honest. The Rector\u2019s \nvoice had been very mild, and both he and \nMadame had looked very kindly at me when \nI thanked them with tearful but happy eyes \nwhen they gave me the papers. \n\nOn the day of the examination the usual \nprogramme was gone through; the songs, \nsolos, piano-playing, and exhibition of draw- \nings underwent the usual inspection. Then \ncame the reading of the essays. All were \naccorded their meed of praise, for all were \nmore or less good. \n\nAfter this the Rector came forward and \nexplained that the essay about to be read \nwas, he considered, a direct answer to prayer. \nIt had not been placed among the competing \nones, as that would not have been fair to \n\n\n7O SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe others, but it was in his opinion worthy \nto be considered a very beautiful production, \nand he would therefore take the liberty of \nreading it. \n\nThis he did. But I don\u2019t think it created \nmuch comment except from those on the \nplatform. All were tired of the morning\u2019s \nwork and the close warm school-room. All \nthe pupils were more or less excited at the \nprospect of going home, many of them for \ngood. \n\nI received many kind words from the \nRector and the teachers, and a writing-desk \nwell furnished as a special reward, though \nI do not quite know what for, for I had \nbeen told that, although undoubtedly the best, \nmy essay could not take part in the com- \npetition by reason of the circumstances at- \ntending its production. \u201ci, \n\nThat, however, did not affect me in the \nleast. I was perfectly happy and more than \ncontent with the commendation bestowed \nupon me. \n\n\nCHAPTER VI. \nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. \n\n\n\u201cToo curious man! why dost thou seek to know \nEvents which \u2014 geod or ill \u2014 foreknown are woe? \n\n\n\u201d Even joys foreseen give Hiending hope no room, \nAnd griefs assured are felt before they come \u2014.\u201d \n: DRYDEN, \n\n\nIr was during the latter part of my school- \ndays that an incident occurred which, though \nnot exactly belonging to the category of ex- \nperiences I intended to relate, seems to me \nto bear some likeness or relationship to them. \nI was spending a few days of one of - \nthe holidays with a schoolmate, a girl only \na year older than myself in years, but consid- \nerably older in worldly experience. She \nhad been visiting some cousins and from \nthem she learned that somewhere in the \nneighbourhood of \u2014 I think \u2014 Bloomsbury, \nthere dwelt a mysterious lady who had \nthe power of looking into and telling the \nfuture. \u201cNot a regular fortune-teller,\u201d said \nAlice \u201cbut much cleverer and quite a lady \n\n\n72 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u2014 lives in a fine house, has servants and \nall that. My cousins said she had told them \nthe most wonderful things.\u201d \n\n\u201cI thought it was only gipsies who told \nfortunes,\u201d I said, deeply interested. \n\n\u201cOh, this is something very different. \nMy cousins told me quite fine people went \nto consult her about their business or their \ntroubles. I have got the address, would you \nlike to go?\u201d \n\nWhat school-girl could resist such a \ntemptation? Certainly not I. Before we slept \nthat night we had discussed ways and means, \nenquired into the state of our finances, and \nlaid plans for paying a visit to the mysteri- \nous lady. Alice did not know what it would \ncost to lift the veil of the future and we had \nconsiderable misgivings as to whether or. not \nour united resources would suffice. But we \ndecided to put it to the test. And the next \nday saw us en route for that part of London \nwhere the lady resided. \n\nAt this distance of time I cannot remem- \nber her name nor the name of the street. \n\n\nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. 73 \n\n\nIn fact I am not sure I ever knew them. \nIt was Alice who acted as cicerone and guide, \nin virtue of her supposed acquaintance with \nthe Metropolis, and the dignity which her \nseventeen years gave over my sixteen. \n\nArrived at the house, we were ushered \nby a boy in buttons and Eton jacket into \na room which seemed to us dark as a tomb \nafter the bright sunlit streets, and I felt a \nlittle cold shiver and thrill of awe, as I gazed \nround. The room was an octagon, hung \naround with dark curtains which shut out \nmost of the light from the windows. In the \nmany corners between the curtains were long \nnarrow mirrors reaching from floor to ceiling. \nWhen we entered, it seemed to me that the \nroom was filled with people, and it was only \nwhen our eyes grew accustomed to the semi- \ndarkness that we discovered they were our \nown reflections. There was something strange \nin the aspect of the room, and I began to \nwish I had not come, but kept this feeling \nto myself, for the boy returned saying the \nlady would receive one of us. \n\n\n74 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cYou go Alice,\u201d I said; so she went leav- \ning me alone in the gloomy apartment for \nwhat seemed to me to be ages. \n\nWhen at length she returned, I had grown \naccustomed to the half light, and could see \nhow pale and disturbed she looked. I felt \nmore nervous and frightened than ever. \n\n\u201cWhat is the matter? Oh Alice, what is \nshe like? What did she tell you?\u201d \n\n\u201cNothing much; I believe it is all rubbish, \nbut it is your turn. The boy is waiting. \nI will tell you afterwards.\u201d \n\nIt was with a curious mixture of fear \nand a desire to laugh, that I followed the \npage up a flight of stairs and into a room \nover that in which I had been waiting. As \nfar as I could discern in the gloom the room \nwas similar in shape and furnishing to the \none below, but I could not describe anything \nin it save the woman with long light or \nwhite hair hanging loosely over her shoulders \nin thick wavy masses. She -was dressed in \nblack, her face was pale and suffering, but \nwhether she was young or old I could not, \n\n\nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. 75 \n\n\nif my life had depended on it, have decided. \nI .seemed to have an impression of some- \nthing black and white and altogether mysteri- \nous, and felt an almost irresistible desire to \nrush out into the sunshine again. Whether \nit was due to my excited imagination or not, \nI had a sense of something weird and \nuncanny in the sight of that black-robed, \nwhite-haired woman. \n\nMy pulse beat like hammers. I wanted \nto laugh or cry, I scarcely knew which. \n\n_ She glanced at me for a moment, then \ntold: me to be seated. I looked round for \na chair, and seated myself on the edge of \nthe nearest one I saw. \n\n\u201cWhat is that mark on your arm?\u201d she \nasked abruptly. I looked hastily at the \nsleeves of my jacket, but seeing nothing, I \nstammered out: something to that effect. She \ndid not heed, but continued talking rapid- \nly; I could only catch a word now and again, \nand wondered what she was talking about. \nIt was some few minutes before I realized \nthat it was my \u201cfortune\u201d she was telling. \n\n\n76 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nIn vain I tried to follow her and gather \nthe meaning of her words: the more I tned \nthe more bewildered I felt. She spoke rapidly \nin a droning monotonous voice, like that of \na person reading aloud to herself. Once I \ncaught a sentence or two having reference \nto a mark on my arm and its signification; \nthen she stopped, and, looking at me fixedly \nfor a second or two, said abruptly: \u2014 \u201cYou \nhave eyes that see things to which others \nare blind. God help you! Your life will not \nbe an easy one.\u201d \n\nThen she resumed the previous monoton- \nous tone, but I could not follow her; her \nremark as to my eyes had caused my thoughts \nto wander, and it was not till she stopped \nspeaking, that I realized that my \u201cfortune\u201d \nwas told. \n\nAfter a pause she enquired if I had any \nquestions to ask. \n\nYes, I had a hundred questions, but not \none could I call to my mind at the moment. \n\n\u201cYes, I want to know\u2019 \u2014 and I hesi- \ntated, wondering what I wanted to know -most. \n\n\nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. 77 \n\n\n\u201cIf you will be married, perhaps?\u201d she \nsuggested. \n\n\u201cYes!\u201d \n\n\u201cYou will be married in two years or \nless.\u201d \n\nAgain I tried to stammer forth a question. \n\n\u201cYou have not yet seen the man you \nwill marry.\u201d \n\nAnother pause during which I tried to \ngather my wits about me, for the precious \nminutes were slipping away and there was \nso much I wanted to know. Before I could \nspeak however she continued: \u2014 \n\n\u201cYour life will be a strange and eventful \none, more so than ordinary lives. Much- \nwill happen to you, much misery, much \nsuffering; troubles such as few know will \nbefall you. But you will have more happi- \nness than falls to the lot of most women. \nYour path is one of thousands, \u2014 beset with \ndangers such as few experience, yet in your \nhands will lie the power to guide and lead \nothers to happiness.\u201d \n\nShe said much more, words of advice \n\n\nf \n\n\n78 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nand warning given in a kindly serious tone. \nI felt the tears in my eyes and a lump in \nmy throat. Then she paused and _ briefly \ntold me I could go. \n\nI rose from my seat, timidly wondering \nif I ought to shake hands before I left the \nroom, but she passed her hand over her \neyes as if tired, and struck a hand-bell which \nwas answered by the entrance of the page, \nwho held the door open for me. So, dropp- \ning a curtsey in school-girl fashion, I went \ndown stairs to rejoin Alice, who greeted me \nwith the words, \u2014 \u201cWhat a long time you \nhave been! We must hurry back.\u201d \n\nAlice was unusually dull and silent on \nthe homeward journey, but at last she roused \nherself to talk with the greatest contempt of \nall fortune-tellers, whom she declared she did \nnot believe in. \n\n\u201cWhat did she tell you?\u201d I asked. \n\n\u201cNothing but a heap of rubbish; I can\u2019t \nremember half of it.\u201d \n\n\u201cNeither can I; I didn\u2019t know at first \nwhat she was talking about, and then, when \n\n\nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. 79 \n\n\nI did, I\u2019d lost all the first part and couldn\u2019t \nunderstand the rest. But she told me after- \nwards that I should be married in two years \nto someone I\u2019d not yet seen. Did she tell \nyou anything like that?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo, she said I should not want to \nmarry.\u201d \n\n\u201cGoodness! is that true? Don\u2019t you want \never to be married?\u201d \n\n\u201cOf course, silly! I\u2019m going to be married. \nWhy, I\u2019m engaged now.\u201d \n\nThis astounding statement changed the \ncurrent of our conversation, and it was not \ntill we arrived home that I suddenly re- \nmembered the woman's remarks as to a mark \non my arm, and asked Alice if she had told \nher of this. \n\n\u201cI? No. I know nothing of it. What \nis it?\u201d \n\nNow, it is a curious fact that on my left \narm below the shoulder is a small mark \nshaped like a cross, which, although generally \ninvisible, is at times of a bright red color, \nperfectly distinct to both sight and touch. \n\n\n80 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nAs it happened, it was quite apparent at this \nparticular time, though how it could be \ndiscerned through the sleeves of my dress \nand jacket was a question I could not answer. \n\nIt was not till some time afterwards that \nAlice told me confidentially, that the fortune- \nteller had predicted an accident in which she \nwould suffer severely; \u201cor die, I suppose she \nmeant\u201d? added Alice. Then I remembered \nthe pallor I had noticed when she returned \nfrom her interview with the white-haired \nwoman, and the disbelief she afterwards ex- \npressed in the latter\u2019s ability to read the \nfuture. \n\nThe woman\u2019s words, as far as I re- \nmembered them, made a deep impression \non me at the time; and for long afterwards \nher remarks as to my eyes seeing more than \nothers\u2019 eyes constantly recurred to me and \ngave me a good deal of comfort, as they \nseemed almost to imply that this peculiar \nability was not altogether an unknown one, \nand it led me to cherish the hope that after \n\n\nTHE FORTUNE-TELLER. 81 \n\n\nall it might not be a symptom of mental \nderangement. \n\nAlice and I left school at the same time \nand never saw each other again, for shortly \nafterwards, she met with a horrible death. \n\nShe was at Brighton for the bathing \nseason, when one night a fire broke out and \nthe hotel in which she was staying was \nburned to the ground. Poor Alice, together \nwith one of the servants she had tried to \nhelp, was burned to death. The fortune \nteller\u2019s prophecy that she would not want a \nhusband was therefore fulfilled in a terrible \nmanner. \n\nThe prediction. as to my marriage came \nalso to pass, for in two years from the date \nof the visit to the white-haired woman I was \na wife. As to the rest of the prophecy \nrespecting my future my readers may judge \nfor themselves in what measure it has been \nfulfilled. \n\n\nCHAPTER VIL. \nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN; AND TABLE-RAPPING. \n\n\n\u201cShadows tonight \nHave struck more terror to the soul of Richard \nThan can the substance of ten thousand soldiers, \nArm\u2019d in proof.\u201d SHAKSPEARE., \n\n\nIr was during the first days of my married \nlife that my dream people began again to \nhaunt me. Transplanted from the midst. of \nmy small noisy brothers and sister, from the \nbusy life of elder sister, nurse, and governess \nto four obstreporous, mischievous young \nones, to the solitude of my new home, alone \nfor the greater part of the day. with very \nlittle to occupy my time, I was horrified to \nfind that the old fancies of seeing people \nabout me returned in full force. \n\nIn vain I tried other means of employ- \nment, sewing, reading, writing. Many times, \nin the midst of my reading or sewing, I \n\n\nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN. 83 \n\n\nwould feel absolutely certain that some one \nwas looking over my shoulder, or watching \nme from the opposite side of the room, or \nsitting beside me looking me through and \nthrough. In vain I told myself it was weak- \nness to encourage such fancies, they would \nnot leave me, till at times in desperation I \nhave flung down my work and huddled \nmyself up on the sofa, covering my eyes \nwith a rug to hide the shadowy forms from \nmy sight. \n\nSometimes I would reason with myself, \nlaugh at myself, and then go boldly through \nthe rooms searching every nook and cranny \nfor anything which could possibly give rise \nto these vague terrors, saying to myself \u2014 \n\u201cNow you see there is nothing there to be \nafraid of, nothing that looks like a human \ncreature, either real or unreal; so don\u2019t be \nstupid and ridiculous.\u201d But in spite of myself \nthese shadow people forced themselves on \nme, till the thought of having to spend long \ndays alone was terrifying to me. I had no \nfriends, and very few acquaintances, in the \n\n\n84 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nplace, most of my friends being in the south \nof England, so that I had very few sources \nof amusement or companionship. \n\nThe constant repetition of these visions \nalarmed me greatly. On one occasion I \nmentioned something of my dislike to being \nleft alone, and of the curious sensation of \nbeing watched by intangible presences, but \nthe consolation I received reminded me very \nforcibly of the Doctor\u2019s remark in my child- \nhood, and the old fear and anxiety assailed \nme anew. I was constantly watching my \nsensations, comparing the experiences of one \nday with another, one week with its prede- \ncessor, the present month with the last to \nknow if the mental malady with which in \nmy secret heart I believed myself, to be \nafflicted was progressing, if the weakness was \nbecoming greater \u2014 wondering meanwhile \nhow long I could succeed in hiding my state \nof mind from others. \n\nSometimes for days together there would \nbe no recurrence of these visions; then my \nspirits would rise and I would sing and dance \n\n\nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN. 85 \n\n\nfor very lightness of heart, thinking the dark \ncloud which threatened me was passing over. \nBut in the midst of my hope, I would be \nstartled into a half swoon by a face or form \ngazing at me from behind a curtain, or van- \nishing through one doorway as I entered a \nroom by another. \n\nIt was during this time that I first heard \nthe subject of spiritualism mentioned. It came \nabout in this way. I was paying a visit to \na friend who resided at some little distance \nfrom my home, when, in the course of con- \nversation, she confided to me her anxiety \non account of her husband\u2019s growing interest \nin, and visits to, a circle of spiritualists and \ntheir mediums. He had, she said, left her \nalone on several occasions for the whole \nevening until late into the night, at which \nshe felt very much aggrieved. Listening to \nthe descriptions with which she regaled me \nof the doings at these meetings, of dark \nrooms, moving tables, flying musical boxes, \ntrance speaking mediums, I certainly consid- \nered she had a right to complain, and I \n\n\n86 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwondered very much that a man with ordin- \nary common sense should be for a moment \nentertained by such vulgar exhibitions of the \njuggler\u2019s art. \n\nTaking the first opportunity of reason- \ning with him, I was astonished to find \nthat he was inclined to view these absurdities \nwith some seriousness and that my expostu- \nlations only provoked dissertations on spirit- \nualistic hypotheses and descriptions of the \nmanifestations. Sorry and annoyed at the \neasy credulity which he seemed to ex- \nhibit, I brought forward every argument -I \ncould think of to show how utterly prepos- \nterous the spiritualistic ideas were, how easily \nall the manifestations he spoke of could be \nperformed in the darkness which was said \nto be a necessary condition for their pro- \nduction, and how ridiculous it was, of any \none with a grain of common sense, to believe \nthat a table could of itself walk about and . \nintelligently answer questions put to it. The \nonly answer to my tirade was an invitation \n\n\nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN. 87 \n\n\nto try and see for myself, which I promptly \ndeclined. \n\nI did not believe there was any truth in \nthe statement that,pieces of furniture could \nmove of themselves. And if it were true, \nthen it was wicked. With this logical con- \nclusion, I refused to discuss the matter further. \n\nDuring the following days my thoughts \nfrequently reverted to my friend\u2019s strange \ncredulity, which had pained and disappointed \nme not a little. From the time we first met \nat Sunday school I had always had a sincere \nrespect for his genuine uprightness, his hon- \norable and truth-loving character and his \ncalm cool judgement and reasoning powers, \nwhich made his opinion in general matters \nsought for and valued. That he should for \none moment give a serious thought to such \na subject affected me very unpleasantly, and \nI tried to think over what arguments I could \nbring to bear on the matter when I should \nsee him again. The more I thought of it, \nthe more horrible seemed the delusion, and \nthe more necessary it was that he should \n\n\n88 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbe convinced that it was all utter non- \nsense. \n\nAt the next invitation to \u201ctry and see for \nmyself,\u2019 I put aside the aversion which I \nfelt to humouring him, even though it might \nbe for a good purpose, and consented in com- \npany with two or three visitors to the house, \nto place my hands on a little table. They \nevidently thought it good fun, and were full \nof laughing expectation, but I could not find \nany amusement in it. I was calmly confident \nthat my friends would see the absurdity of \nthe assertion that the table would exhibit any \nsigns of intelligence. \n\nTo my surprise, and perhaps disgust, there \nseemed to be a trembling vibrating movement \nin the wood of the table-top, which gradually \nspread itself to all parts of it, till it became \nmore and more pronounced and at last cul- \nminated in a regular rocking movement. Seeing: \nthis, Mr. F. began asking questions, telling \nthe table to rap once with one foot \nin answer for \u201cno,\u201d twice for \u201cuncertain\u2019\u2019, \nthree times for \u201cyes.\u201d Various questions were \n\n\nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN. 89 \n\n\nput and answered more or less truthfully; \nthen said Mr. F. to me: \u2014 \u201cWhat do you \nthink of it now?\u201d \n\n\u201cI think you are moving it,\u2019 I replied, and \njust as I spoke, my chair with me sitting on \nit slid across the room and wriggled itself \nup on the sofa. I jumped down and half \nangrily, half laughingly, charged Mr F. with \nusing wires or magnets, at the same time \nrequesting him to withdraw from the table. \nThereupon he not only left the table but \nwent out of the room, and I locked the door \nto prevent him returning. I then seated \nmyself in company with my other friends a \nsecond time at the table. Again my chair \nsid over the floor, and when it could go no \nfurther because of the sofa it lifted itself and \nme on to it as before. \n\nAt my request one after the other of my \nfriends moved away till I alone was left with \nmy fingers on the table top. Still it moved. \nWhen no questions were asked it rocked \nabout, lifting first one foot then another, \ntwisting half round as it did so, and in this \n\n\npore) SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmanner made the circuit of the parlour, I \nfollowing with my finger tips pressed on its \nsurface. \n\nThere appeared to me to be something \n\u201cuncanny\u201d about it. Sometimes it shook with \nwhat one might imagine to be suppressed \nlaughter, sometimes it gave one the impres- \nsion of its being a living creature breathing \nwith a gentle heaving motion. Then again it \nwould make a sudden jump as if to wrench \nitself from under my hands. \n\nAs I went home that evening, very much \nperplexed atthe result of the experiment, I \nremembered that Mr. F. had sometimes amused \nus with little exhibitions of mesmerism, \nand with that remembrance a possible solu- \ntion of the mystery of the movements of the \ntables and chairs suggested itself to me. If \nit were possible to influence persons by mag- \nnetism and make them obey his will, was it \nnot also possible that inanimate objects such \nas tables and chairs could be brought under \nthe same power, and made to move or act \nin accordance with the will of the operator? \n\n\nMY SHADOW PEOPLE AGAIN, g!I \n\n\nI had never heard of such a possibility but \nthat was no reason why there might not be \nsome ground for the supposition. The more \nI reflected on it the more likely it seemed, \nand in discussing the idea with the others, \nwho had assisted at the table turning experi- \nment, it was decided to set the question at \nrest, by meeting the next evening and trying \nagain without informing either Mr. or Mrs. F. \nof our intention. \n\nAccordingly the following evening saw us \n\nassembled in my home, six persons in all, in- \n\u2018cluding myself. We decided that it would \nbe better to use a plain unpainted kitchen \ntable, as being more steady on its legs and \nless liable to be moved by any unconscious \npressure of our hands than the small round \nthree-legged one we had used the previous \nevening. \n\nWe seated ourselves around the uncovered \ntable, two on each side, and one at each end. \nWe placed our hands on its surface, joining \nour fingers to make a complete chain. It \nwas not long, perhaps half an hour, before \n\n\ng2 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe same trembling and vibratory sensations \nwere felt, at first apparently under our fingers, \nthen communicating itself to the whole table, \nwhich began shortly to have a rocking, or \nmore correctly a waving, motion without act- \nually moving from the floor. \n\n\nCHAPTER VIII. \nTHE TABLE BETRAYS SECRETS. \n\n\n\u201cIs it thy spirit that thou send\u2019st from thee \nSo \u2018far from home into my deeds to pry, \u00b0 \nTo find out shames and idle hours in me?\u201d \n\n\nSHAKSPEARE, \n\n\nWe began to ask questions, using the same \nsignals as Mr. F. and received answers by \nthe rocking movements. Some one objecting \nthat these movements were indistinct and \neasily misunderstood, the table to our sur- \nprise lifted itself on one side gently from the \nfloor and rapped with one foot clearly and \nunmistakably. \n\nWe put innumerable questions of a more \nor less absurd character. One gentleman I \nremember made particular enquiries whether \nthe table knew of any hidden treasure which \nit could help him to find. We asked our \n\n\n94 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nages, date of birth, the hour of sunrise and \nsunset, price of corn, in fact anything which \ncame uppermost. The answers were I be- \nlieve generally unsatisfactory though some \nwere correct. At length we had exhausted \nour stock of enquiries and asked each other: \n\u201cWhat question shall we put to the table \nnext?\u201d \n\nSuddenly I said: \u2014 \u201cDo you know where \nmy father is this evening?\u201d and the answer \ncame promptly, by three distinct lifts of the \ntable, \u201cYes.\u2019\u2019 \n\nNow, rather strange to say, none of us \nknew where my father was just at the time, \nand we were anxiously awaiting news of him. \nMy mother was suffering from an_ inter- \nnal complaint and had journeyed from Lon- \ndon to the City of Durham to consult a \nspecialist. He had given it as his opinion \nthat an operation was necessary, and my \nfather had been informed of this and asked \nto come to her to consult as to the advisa- \nbility of having the operation performed, \nas my mother felt nervous about decid- \n\n\nTHE TABLE BETRAYS SECRETS. 95 \n\n\ning without his presence. To this letter there \ncame no answer. A second, even a third, was \nsent off with the same result. The only con- \nclusion we could come to was that he had \nbeen called away, after my mother had left \nhome and had not received the letters. In \na note from her that morning she asked me \nto come to her the following day, as she \nwas getting quite uneasy at not hearing from \npapa. Hence my question to the table and \nsurprise at the answer. \n\n\u201cWhere is he then?\u2019 was our next in- \nquiry, but here a difficulty arose. Our sig- \nnals only extended to \u201cyes\u2019\u2019 or \u201cno\u201d and \n\u201cdont know\u2019 and this was a question that \ncould not be answered by any of these words. \nSome one volunteered to repeat the alphabet \nand the table agreed to lift a foot at the \nletters which formed the name of the place \nit wished to mention. After a good many \nmistakes, repetitions, and hinderances, we got \nthe word \u201cSwansea.\u201d \n\n\u201cDo you mean that he is in the town of \nSwansea in Wales?\u201d we asked. \n\n\n96 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cYes.\u201d \n\n\u201cHow long has he been there\u201d \n\n(Ten knocks.) \u2014 \u201cDoes that mean ten \ndays?\u201d \n\nWes \n\n\n\u201cImpossible, that cannot be true. We \nknow he was in London since that time.\u201d \n\n(Ten knocks again.) \u201cAre you quite sure \nit is ten days?\u201d \n\n\u201cYes.\u201d \n\n\u201cWhat is he doing there?\u2019 \n\n\u201cDont know.\u201d \n\n\u201cIs he at some hotel?\u201d \n\n\u201cNg.\u201d \n\n\u201cVisiting at some friends?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cThat is too stupid. If he is not at any \n\u2018house or hotel, he cannot be there.\u2019\u2019 \n\n\u201cYes,\u201d \n\n\u201cWhere then?\u201d Here some one suggested \n\u201cship.\u201d \n\n\u201cYes\u201d \n\n\u201cDo you mean that he is on a ship?\u201d \n\nYes.\u201d \n\n\nTHE TABLE BETRAYS SECRETS. 97 \n\n\n\u201cWhat ship? What is its name?\u201d \n\nHere began again the repetition of the \nalphabet and after a while we got the name \n\u201cLizzie Morton.\u201d \n\n\u201cDo you mean that he is on board a \nvessel called \u2018Lizzie Morton,\u2019 and that he has \nbeen in Swansea ten days?\u2019 \n\n*\u00a5es,\u201d\u201d \n\n\u201cIt is a strange thing,\u201d observed some \none of the circle. \u201cHave you any idea that \nhe can be there?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo,\u201d I replied; \u201che was in London and \nwas intending to finish some small business \nmatter and follow mamma to Durham, but \nhe has not come, nor has he answered her \nletters, but he is sure to have written if he \nhad been called away anywhere. I believe it \nis all nonsense for a table to know.\u201d \n\n\u201cBut\u201d? said one gentleman \u201cthey say it \nis a spirit which moves the table.\u2019 \n\n\u201cAre you a spirit moving the table?\u201d \n\nat 6 tad \n\n\u201cA man spirit?\u201d \n\n\u201cNa, \n\n\n98 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cA woman spirit.\u201d \n\n\u201cYes.\u201d \n\n\u201cWhat is your name?\u201d \n\n\u201cMary E \u2014.\u201d \n\nThat was my grandmother\u2019s name. \u201cAre \nyou my grandmother?\u201d \n\n\u201cYes.\u201d \n\n\u201cHave you seen my father in Swansea?\u2019 \n\nYes\u201d \n\n\u201cAnd he is there now?\u201d \n\noe Si \n\nTo say that we were surprised at the \nresult of our table-turning experiment hardly \nexpresses our feelings. For myself I felt \nquite bewildered, and not a little excited \nas well as puzzled, whether or not to tell \nmy mother of what we had done. Next \nmorning on the journey to Durham I was \nstill wondering whether I should say anything \nto my mother on the subject and decided \nthat I would not. The whole thing savoured \ntoo much of mystery, and I still had a clear \nrecollection of the incredulous reception of \nmy stories of my dream or shadow people, \n\n\nTHE TABLE BETRAYS SECRETS. 99 \n\n\nand shrunk from seeing the disbelief which, \nI felt, would be shown in her looks, even \nif she refrained from expressing it in words. \n\nOn reaching the house where my mother \nwas staying I had scarcely spoken two sen- \ntences with her when she said. \u201cI have had \na letter from papa this morning; he is in \nSwansea and has only just received my letters \nabout the operation.\u201d \n\nI felt myself turn hot and cold, and the \nroom seemed to go round with me. \n\n\u201cWhat is the matter?\u201d asked my mother; \nAre you not well?\u201d \n\nI hardly knew what I replied, but in \nthe\u2019 end I related the whole story of our \ntwo table-rapping experiments. Whatever my \nmother thought, she refrained from expressing \nany incredulity and proposed at once writing \nand asking if the other statements were true, \nwhich was done. \n\nI do not know if the letter was ever \nanswered but two days later my father arrived \nand I met him at the station. On our way \nto the house he asked me who had been \n\n\nB894121A \n\n\n100 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto see, or had been writing to, mamma as \nto his speculations. \n\n\u201cI do not know. I don\u2019t think any one \nhas\u201d I replied. \n\n\u201cSome one has\u201d he said; \u201celse how did \nshe know about that vessel?\u201d \n\n\u201cHave you really been doing anything \nwith a vessel called the \u2018Lizzie Morton\u2019 then \npapa? And have you been in Swansea all \nthis while?\u201d \n\n\u201cWell yes; I have been there a few days \nabout a little business connected with the \n\u2018Lizzie Morton,\u2019 but what is all the fuss about? \nI did not get my letters as I was moving \nabout, until three or four days ago and have \nbeen very busy.\u201d \n\n\u201cHad you been there ten days when you \nwrote first to mamma from Swansea?\u2019 \n\n\u201cTen days; oh no! I can\u2019t say exactly \nhow many days, but not long.\u201d \n\n\u201cWhen did you leave London?\u201d \n\n\u201cOn the tenth.\u201d \n\n\u201cAnd you wrote mamma on the 2oth: \nthat is ten days.\u201d \n\n\nTHE TABLE BETRAYS SECRETS. 101 \n\n\n\u201cWell, yes, I suppose it is. Time goes \nso quickly when one is busily engaged.\u201d \n\nLater on we understood the reason of \nhis absence from home. Like most men who \nhave spent the greater part of their lives \non the sea, my father, in spite of his \ndetermination to settlhe down as a landsman, \nfound the attraction to ships and shipping \nirresistible. He had on several occasions \ninvested money in vessels and lost it, so that \nmy mother had a wholesome fear of his \nbeing drawn into unlucky speculations. \n\nImmediately after my mother\u2019s departure \nfrom London for Durham, whither my father \nhad arranged to follow in a day or two, it \nchanced that he fell in with an old friend \nwho was about proceeding to Swansea to \ninspect a vessel which was for sale, and he \ninvited my father to accompany him. He \nnothing loath, agreed and they journeyed \ntogether. After having inspected the vessel \na trial trip was made in it, and the prelimin- \nary arrangements for its transfer began. As \nhe had said, \u201cTime goes quickly when one \n\n\n102 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nis busily engaged\u201d and it was not till he had \ncalled for his letters at the post-office, where \nthey had been some days awaiting him, that \nhe learned how anxiously we were looking for \nnews of him. \n\nIt was easy enough to get this explana- \ntion, but to understand how the kitchen table \ncould know and, knowing, communicate these \nparticulars was a problem not quite so easily \nsolved. \n\n\u201cDepend upon it my dear\u201d said my \nfather, \u201cthere is witchcraft in it or devilry, \none or the other, and it is better that \nyou should not meddle with such things.\u201d \nAt the same time he was quite anxious to \ntry himself and get the table to move, and \nwhen, after repeated attempts, he at last suc- \nceeded he was much interested in the result. \nHe afterwards told me very seriously that \nhe believed the spiritualist people were more \nthan half right after all, otherwise the thing \nwas incomprehensible. \n\n\nCHAPTER DIX \nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. \n\n\nIt is the mystery of the unknown \n\nThat fascinates us; we are children still \nWayward and wistful; with one hand we cling \nTo the familiar things we call our own \n\nAnd with the other resolute of will, \n\nGrope in the dark for what the day will bring. \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nPuzzuEp and bewildered as I was, I could \nnot so quickly throw aside my previous \nteachings as to agree with my father\u2019s con- \nclusion. My friends Mr. and Mrs. F. were in- \nformed of the result of our experiment and \nits verification. After some discussion it was \nagreed that all of those friends who had \nassisted at the table-rapping described should \nmeet one evening in the week for further ex- \nperiments during the whole of the winter \nmonths, and see what would come of them. \n\n\n104 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nWe were in all eight persons, With very \nfew exceptions this arrangement was adhered \nto. We met regularly at the appointed hour \non the same evening of each week, and in \nno case was our meeting barren of results. \nSometimes distinct raps were heard on the \ntable, and we obtained answers to our ques- \ntions by their means. Sometimes messages \nwere spelled out by means of the alphabet \nas at our first experiment; sometimes we put \nout the lamps and sat in total darkness, and \nfrequently saw flashing lights, luminous clouds \nfloating over our heads; sometimes a steady \nsoft luminosity would be seen, but on trying \nto make out what these appearances were \nthey faded away. \n\nSometimes we placed a small object such \nas a ring, a stud, or a coin, on the table \nand asked that it might be removed by this \nstrange intelligence or power, we sitting and \nwatching with our eight pairs of eyes. On \none occasion a pair of links were placed on \nthe table and we watched them carefully but \nthey made no attempt to move. At length the \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. I05 \n\n\nraps or movement of the table \u2014 always \nthe same plain deal kitchen table \u2014 took \nour attention and for a few moments the \nlinks were not noticed. All the time the \nchain of hands was unbroken and the alpha- \nbet was being sedulously repeated to obtain \nthe messages from the table. At last we \nhad pieced together the different letters and \nfound they spelled the words: \u2014 \u201cLook for \nthe studs.\u201d Then we saw that they were no \nlonger on the table. Our first thought was \nthat, through the movements of the table, \nthey had rolled off to the floor and a general \nsearch was about to be made, when we were \narrested by further significant raps and \nafter some time gathered that the links were \nno longer in the room but in an adjoining \nparlour. This we did not believe, as the \ndoor to the room in which we were sitting \nhad been locked to prevent interruption when \nwe had assembled, and had not since been \nopened. Then began a series of questions \nto which, as in the well known game of \nforfeits, the answers consisted of \u201cYes\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\n106 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cIs it on a table?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cIs it on the chimney piece?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cIs it in a vase?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cIs it in anything?\u201d \n\n\u201cYes.\u201d \n\nAt last we elicited that it was in a flower \npot, in the flower stand at the farthest win- \ndow from the door. Thither we all repair- \ned and carefully inspected the flowerpots, \none of the gentlemen gingerly moving the \nleaves of the plants with the point of a lead \npencil and the rest of us looking on ex- \npectantly. However no studs were there. \nThis was the first real mistake the table had \nmade and we wondered what we should \nnow do. \n\nWe sat down again and placing our hands \nas before on the table solemnly informed it \nthat it had misstated facts, and that the studs \nwere not in the flowerpot mentioned, and \nthat as they were valuable we desired to be \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. 107 \n\n\ninformed without delay as to their actual \nwhereabouts. After some little difficulty in \ngetting into working order as it were, we \nwere told that no mistake had been made \nbut that the studs were really in the flower- \npot. \n\n\u201cBut we have looked in every one, and \nhave seen for ourselves that they are not \nthere.\u201d \n\n\u201cYou have only looked on not \u2018wv the \nflowerpots.\u201d\u2019 \n\nThis was true enough, certainly go one \nhad thought of looking \u2018x the flowerpots. \nAccordingly, having got to know which one \nwe should examine, we all adjourned again \nto the next room and taking out the flower- \npot in question examined it carefully. If I \nremember rightly the plant was a very fine \ngeranium. There was no sign of any disturb- \nance of the soil, which was quite hard and \ncompact; but having, with some difficulty, \nturned over the mould, there, shining among \nj the roots of the plant we found the missing \n. studs. How they came there; haw they had \n\n\n108 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbeen carried through the closed and locked \ndoor; nay, how they had disappeared from \nunder our eyes while we were seated at the \ntable was more than we could hope to ex- \nplain. In fact, I am not sure that any of \nus _ tried. \n\nReturning with the links to the table we \nput them down upon it again and took our \nseats. Scarcely had we done so when they \nwere gone again. This time we were told \nto look in a Japanese box on a high shelf. \nBy mounting a chair the box was taken \ndown and placed before us to be opened. \nIt happened to be locked, so the key had \nto be searched for. On opening it the links \n'were found inside a silver teapot which the \n\u2018box contained. \n\nAgain we were seated with the links be- \nfore us on the table, but a third time they \ninstantly disappeared, and after a long search, \nwhen we failed to find them, we broke up \n-the seance to have a cup of coffee before \nseparating. One of our friends, about to \ndrink his coffee, had it splashed over his face. \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. 109 \n\n\n, The links had mysteriously fallen, apparently \nfrom a height, into his cup, and we fished \nthem out with a teaspoon. \n\nTo the most of us I think our experi- \nmental evenings were only looked upon as \nan amusement, or a pleasant break in the \nmonotony of every-day life, and the spice of \nmystery in the whole thing gave our meetings \na sort of piquant interest which other amuse- \nments failed to supply. At any rate, every \ntime we met, something fresh was tried for, \nor something new was told us, so that instead \nof tiring, we were all desirous of continuing \nthe meetings. For a long while it is doubt- \nful if any of us looked at the matter with \nany seriousness, it was amusing, surprising \nand puzzling, but that was all. We were all \nyoung and took life lightly, and were well \npleased to have some mutual interests, which \nbrought six or eight good friends into fre- \nquent intercourse. \n\nMr F. was the reading one of our circle. \nHe generally brought us some news of the . \nspiritualist movement, which we received with \n\n\nTIO SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmingled feelings. At first we were all more \nor less inclined to discredit the statements as \nto the wonderful phenomena attributed to \nthe spirits of departed friends. To me, in- \ndeed, the idea was utterly repugnant. The \nmovements of tables and chairs, the hiding \nof rings and studs, seemed too utterly triv- \nial, savouring more of the tricks of fun- \nloving mischievous boys than spirits of the \nblessed dead, who, as all orthodox christians \nbelieved, were far beyond in the land which \neye hath not seen, too happy on the bliss- \nful shores of the crystal sea, too busy in \npraising the Creator to descend to the dull \nold earth and provide amusement of so ab- \nsurd a nature for us. It was not to be cred- \nited for a moment. Perhaps, however, these \n\u201cspirits\u201d might be the denizens of the nether \nworld, the poor unhappy ones shut out of \nthe paradise of the blest. But here, again, \nwe could not reconcile the two ideas. The \nmanifestations, if trivial, were innocent enough \nof harm; even the movements of the table \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. ITI \n\n\nwere suggestive of a rollicking boyish fun \nthat was impossible to resist. \n\nNo matter if we were depressed or other- \nwise out of temper, half an hour\u2019s sitting at \nthe table would restore good humour and \nmake us merry and _ talkative. Sometimes \none of the circle would play a tune on a \nconcertina, the others forming a chain round \nthe table with their hands placed flat on the \ntop. In a very few minutes the vibratory \nand undulating motion invariably began, grad- \nually accomodating its movements to the \ntune which was being played. If it were a \nsoft sad melody, the movements were also \nsoft and rhythmical with undulations in perfect \ntime. If it were a lively tune, the movements \nwere quick, lively and decided. A march or \nnational hymn seemed to excite correspond- \ning feelings, if one can so express it. \n\u201cYankee Doodle\u201d, in particular, always pro- \nduced a wonderful effect, and was generally \nreserved by us for the grand finale, because \nthe movements of the table became almost \nuncontrollable and generally we were all \n\n\n112 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nobliged to rise from our seats to accompany \nthe table, which seemed eager to follow the \nplayer. There was no doubt whatever that \nthe movements, vibrations, and undulations in \nthe table while this tune was being played \nexpressed pleasure and enthusiasm. On the \ncontrary if \u201cGod save the Queen\u201d were played \nthe table just as unmistakably expressed a \ncertain sullen dissent, either by remaining \nperfectly quiescent, or by heavy thuds on its \nsurface, or by lifting itself and heavily drop- \nping to the floor. A particular long-meter \npsalm tune seemed to be its pet aversion, \nand it was our great delight to get our mu- \nsician to play it in as slow a fashion as \npossible. Then the table would writhe, twist, \nand turn itself almost upside down, varying \nthe movemeuts by short angry jumps, gener- \nally in the direction of the player, or by \nviolent thumps on the floor that would have \nshattered a less substantial piece of furniture. \nIn fact, it was not long before the once heavy \nwell made kitchen table had to pay a visit \nto a workshop to get its joints fasten- \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. 113 \n\n\ned and undergo general repairs after our \nexperiments. \n\nAll this was very amusing and we enjoyed \nit immensely, though my patriotism always \ndisapproved of the reception which our na- \ntional hymn received, and, in spite of the \nfun, I felt a little shocked at the anger dis- \nplayed when the \u201cOld hundred\u201d was droned \nout. It seemed to me that, however atrocious \nthe music, the subject was a religious one \nand I objected in my heart to its being \ntreated lightly; though at the same time no \none enjoyed the fun more than I did. \n\nSometimes we sang, in which case we \nwere always accompanied by rhythmic move- \nments or raps on the table. \n\nSeveral methods were tried to facilitate \nthe rapping out of messages. The alphabet \nwas written on the table, and a pointer on \na kind of swivel arranged to indicate the \nletters, but this did not satisfy us; the move- \nments were uncertain and the messages un- \nsatisfactory. In fact, what messages we did \nget were always received with,a certain \n\n8 \n\n\n114 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\namount of discredit in consequence of a hoax \nor two of which we considered we had been \nmade victims. \n\nOn one occasion a long message in French \nhad been rapped out and duly noted. It \nwas to the effect that a Madame Poltan or \nPoetan, living in the neighbourhood of Havre, \nwas to be written to and informed that her \nson Jean had been drowned, giving date \nand name of place when and where the cal- \namity took place. One of our circle under- \ntook to write to the lady at the given address \nand in a carefully worded letter deliver the \nmessage. This was done, but we never heard \nanything more of the matter. The letter was \nnever returned, but this we concluded was \nno ground for supposing that it ever found \nthe lady in question, or, in case it had been \ndelivered to a person of that name and ad- \ndress, there was no sign to prove the genuine- \nness of the fact stated. At any rate we \nnever heard anything more of the matter \nand no notice was ever taken of the message, \nwhich we had conscientiously delivered. \n\n\nMATERIAL PASSES THROUGH MATERIAL. II5 \n\n\nMore than one doubtful communication \nhad thus been rapped out, which had either \nbeen proved to be false, or which we had \nbeen unable to get confirmed, so that at last \nwe gave up the attempt, and simply heard \nwhat was told us and formed our own opin- \nions as to its value and kept it to uurselves. \n\nTrue, against all the false or doubtful \ncommunications we received, there was one \nstriking contrast, that concerning my father \nand his whereabouts, which as will have been \nseen was proved true in every particular. As \nit was, this grain of truth caused us to begin \nthe experiments with the hope of finding \nmore, and induced us to continue in spite of \nthe discouragement we felt at some of the \nmisleading messages we received. All the \nsame, I began to find it dreadfully puzzling \nand to wonder what would come of it all. \n\n\nCHAPTER X. \nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE. \n\n\n\u201cVery much did Zuma wonder \n\nAt the wisdom of his daughter, \n\nWhen she talked of seeing visions \u2014 \nTalked of wondrous things she saw \u2014 \nTold them some strange thing would happen, \nTold them such a man would die. \nThen they said to one another: \u2014 \nTis not the voice of Y Ay Ali \n\n\u2018It is not the child that speaks; \n\nTis some old and reverend spirit \nFrom the land of the departed.\u201d \n\n\nTHE STORY OF Y AY ALI. \n\n\nOnE evening Mr. F., who had been telling \nus of some clairvoyant experiments he had \nread of, proposed that we should try in that \ndirection instead of table-rapping. We agreed \nto his proposal and, the lamp having been \nextinguished, we sat solemnly round the table \nin the fire-light. But nobody saw anything \nexcept the fire-hght dancing on the walls. \n\n\nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE. I17 \n\n\nMr. F. proposed at last that someone \nshould place his hands over the eyes of each \nperson in turn for a minute or two, and see \nif that helped; if not, then another person \nwas to try till the round had been made. \nThis was done by some of the members but \nno one saw the better for this blind-folding \nuntil Mr. F. attempted and, standing behind \nthe sitters at the table, placed his fingers \nover the closed eyes of each in turn. Most \nof them thereupon declared that they felt \nsome peculiar sensation in their eyes or head, \nand some said they distinctly saw light clouds \nbefore them, but this is not unusual if any \npressure is placed on the eyeballs, so that \nour \u00a7xperiment seemed likely to be bare of \nresult. I was the last of the circle to be \nblind-folded and, to my astonishment, scarcely \nhad the fingers touched my eyelids before \nthe fire-lighted room vanished, and I seemed \nto be in the open air, in a strange place, \nfor I could hear the rustling of trees, the \nsoughing of wind through branches; but it \n.was black and dark and, though conscious \n\n\n118 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof being somewhere on a country lane or \nroad, I could see nothing. At the same time \nI knew that I was in reality seated on a \nchair, among personal friends in my own \nsitting-room. Yet even this actual knowledge \ndid not in any way detract from the feeling \nof reality with which the strange experience \nimpressed me. I knew I was seated in a \nfire-lit room, and that feeling or conscious- \nness of safety never left me; at the same \ntime I was equally conscious that the scene \nI witnessed on that dark country road was \na reality and inter\u00e9sted me intensely, in \nmuch the same way as one seated in \na theatre, conscious of the fact of one\u2019s \nsurroundings and one\u2019s own_ individuality, \nwatches with interest and sympathy the \nscene being enacted on the stage before him. \nOne knows that an actual scene is before \none and that it is no dream or illusion. \nVery much the same as a scene in a play, \ndid the scene opening up before me affect \nmy senses, except that I knew it was not \nmerely acting. \n\n\nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE. I19 \n\n\nAs I stood alone in darkness, feeling \nchilled by the damp heavy atmosphere and \nconscious of the peculiar scent of wet soddened \nearth and grass, a light suddenly flashed be- \nfore me. I saw that it came from the open \ndoor of a house which I had not seen. The \nbright light seemed to proceed from an inner \nfire-and-lamp-lighted room, and spread itself \nout to the road where I stood. I could see \nthe house, the road, the trees, lighted up \nfor a moment or two. Then from the open \ndoorway two figures emerged, \u2014 men. The door \nclosed behind them and the darkness became \nas impenetrable as before. Yet in that brief \nspace of time I had to some extent taken \nnote of my surroundings, and knew in which \ndirection the road led, on which side the \nhouse stood, that a ditch ran on one side \nof the road, and that at the far side of the \nditch were trees. Dark as it was, I could \nwith some difficulty distinguish the figures \nof the two men who left the house, and I \nfollowed them, not knowing exactly why I \ndid so. One of the men seemed to be \n\n\nr aa \n\n\n120 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nintoxicated; he walked unsteadily, gesticulated, - \nand talked noisily or appeared to do so, for \nI could not hear words. The other, a taller \nand more slender man, walked steadily and \nhelped his companion by taking his arm \n\nwhen he stumbled in the darkness. All at \nonce the shorter man disappeared; his com- \npanion stopped, and halloed again and again. \nHe got no answer; he moved his feet cau- \ntiously as if feeling for the man on the road; \nand called again, but obtained no answer \n\nHe seemed uncertain how to proceed, and \nwalked backwards and forwards, searching \nas he went. Then suddenly he appeared to \nmake up his mind, and started off quickly. \n\nI followed. I saw a door oper, and he \nentered. Shortly afterwards several persons \nemerged from the house carrying a lantern, \n\nthe tall slender man with them. I followed \n\nthem but nobody noticed me. They retraced \n\nthe steps the two men had taken, searching \n\nevery inch of the way by aid of the lighted \n\nlantern. \n\nI noticed now what I had not seen be- \n\n\nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE, I21 \n\n\nfore, that at a certain point, another road \nbranched off from the one on which the men \nwere walking and ran along parallel with it \non a lower level. When the party had \nreached the place where the man had dis- \nappeared, a thorough search began; and I \nwatched with great anxiety for the result. \nAt last one of the searchers approached the \nembankment and, looking over, said some- \nthing to his companions, whereupon they all \nturned back and retraced their steps till they \nreached the junction of the two roads, when \nthey struck off on the lower one searching \nwith the lantern on the side nearest to the \nhigher road. \n\nAt length they evidently discovered the \nmissing man lying by the roadside apparently \ninsensible, and the searchers grouped them- \nselves about his postrate body. The taller \nslender man I have before mentioned tried \nto lift up his comrade from the wet ground, one \nof the others holding the lantern which lighted \nup the group, and I now for the first time \nsaw the faces of the men. The features of \n\n\n122 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe one liftiag the head of the fallen man \nstruck me as being familiar, but for a moment \nI could not recall it to mind. Then as they \nraised the man to his feet, he looked about \nhim im a_ bewildered manner. I glanced \nagain at the man helping him and to my \nintense surprise I recognized Mr. F! \n\n\u201cWhy it's you!\u201d I exclaimed. \n\nMy astonishment at this discovery almost \novershadowed my surprise at the strangeness \nof the whole vision. I had followed the \nvarious movements and incidents, in what \nseemed to be a little drama, with anxiety \nand with an apprehension that it might result \nin a tragedy. I had feared that the uncon- \nscious man found lying by the roadside was \ndead, and had felt greatly relieved when by \nthe light of the lantern he was seen to be \nsleeping. All the actors in the scene so far \nas I knew were unknown to me, and although \nI followed every movement with interest \nand anxiety it was only as a stranger would \nhave done, so that when I suddenly recog- \nnized Mr. F. as one of the principals it caused \n\n\nFIRST -EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE, 123 \n\n\na feeling of almost consternation, so great \nwas my surprise. \u2018 \n\nAs I shook his fingers from my eyelids \nand facing him exclaimed: \u2014 \u201cWhy, it\u2019s \nyou!\u2019 the surprise communicated itself to \nthe rest of the circle, and question after \nquestion was eagerly asked as to the mean- \ning of the whole thing. I had, during the \nenactment of the scene faithfully related every \nincident as it occurred, so that the others \nhad followed it with almost as great an \ninterest as I who, as it were, took an active \npart in it. It was, therefore, with no little \ncuriosity that we awaited some explanation \nof the affair from Mr. F. \n\nHe told us that he recognized the whole \nof the circumstances as having occurred some \ntwelve years previously, to himself and sev- \neral friends who, having been during the \nday at a deer hunt, finished up at an inn \nbefore they separated. Mr. F. and a young \nman whose home lay in the same direction \nleft the inn together. It was not until they \nhad come out into the night air that Mr. F. \n\n\n124 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\non whom the wine seemed to have taken \n_no effect, found that his friend was consid- \nerably the worse for the parting glasses and \nit was with difficulty he could dissuade him \nfrom returning to bid another goodnight to \ntheir comrades. He, however, succeeded in \ngetting him some distance towards home \nwhen he suddenly missed him as I had seen. \nThe rest of the story tallied in every respeet \nwith my vision. In some cases the minor \ndetails which had escaped his memory were \nperhaps only recalled by my relation. \n\nIt was with feelings very similar to those \nI had had with respect to our first table \nturning experiment, that I reviewed the peculiar \nvision I had that evening. To all of the \ncircle it had a great interest, and the discus- \nsion which followed was eager and animated, \nbut to me it meant something more. A \ngreat hope was born within me, which | \nhardly dared to cherish, that after all it might \nbe possible that my shadow people were \nrealities and not the result of incipient mad- \nness. : \n\n\nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE, 125 \n\n\nThe hope, once raised, would not be \nsilenced and soon became, though secretly, \na great motive power which urged me on \nin the voyage of discovery on which I now \nfairly embarked, accompanied at first by all \nof the circle, till changes caused some to \nabandon the search, well content with what \nthey had learned. Others left England, and \none passed behind the veil which devides \nthe spirit world from this, whence he fre- \nquently came with loving greetings and encour- \nagement to his sometime fellow voyagers, \nwho were groping slowly along in the dark- \nness. \n\nI began to read every printed page I \ncould get hold of relating to spiritualism \nand spiritualistic phenomena, dreadful non- \nsense a good deal of it, which shocked and \n\u2018disgusted me. The communications purport- \ning to come from the heavenly spheres were \nin some cases so devoid of even common \nsense, that had not some kind friends taken \npity on me and recommended the works of \nAndrew Jackson Davis, Robert Dale Owen, \n\n\n126 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nand others, together with some of the best \nweekly publications, I should have abandoned ' \nthe enquiry. One of the angel communicants \nI remember gave the information that there \nwere plenty of vegetables in heaven \u2014 \u201cas \nfor cabbages they grow so large, so very \nlarge, that I cannot tell you how large they \nare.\u2019 I do not remember the author of the \nparticular work, in which this appeared, I \nthink his name was Pine, and I believe he \ncalled it the \u201cSpirit telegraph.\u2019 I have not \nseen it since; probably it was not well received \u2014 \nand soon died a natural death. \n\nThe accounts which I read of phenomena, \nwonderful and incomprehensible as they were, \ndid not interest me so much as stories of \nclairvoyance. It seemed to me that somehow \nI possessed a clue to the understanding of \nthis power, so that whatever I read of it, \nin some way fitted:in with my own secret \nexperience. I did not understand the vision \nof the men on the dark country road, nor \ndo I think after the first few days that I \ntried to explain it to myself, but I thought \n\n\nFIRST EXPERIMENTS IN CLAIRVOYANCE, 127 \n\n\nthat there was much to learn which would \nprobably lead up to the solution; so it was \nbetter to begin at the beginning. Where \nthe beginning was, where to start from, which \nroad to pursue \u2014 were terribly perplexing \nquestions. I could only read whatever came \ninto my hands. Theories, Philosophies, Phe- \nnomena, Arguments for and against spiritual- \nism, Denunciations bitter and violent on both \nsides, but especially against spiritualistic teach- \nings; persecutions of mediums, Exposures \nand Impositions \u2014 it, was all very bewild- \nering. \n\nIt was at this stage that I ventured to \nspeak to my friends Mr. and Mrs. F. of my \n\u201cshadow people\u201d and my experiences in con- \nnection with my \u201cdreams,\u201d for which I had \nsuffered so much and often; and of the vague \nhaunting fear which hung like a dark shade \nover my girlhood. It was to their kind \nsympathy and co-operation that I owed the \nlight which chased away the cloud, and gave \nme courage to throw off the incubus which, \nbeing. thus vanquished, seemed to shrink \n\n\n128 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\naway and disappear into nothingness. As \nthis vague trouble dissolved itself in the mist \nof the past, my heart, as the French say, \nbecame \u201clike a little singing bird\u201d freed from \nimprisonment. My courage rose, and I deter- \nmined from very thankfullness to go on with \nthe investigation and experiments which had \nled to my freedom. \n\n\nWALTER. \n\n\nGoogle \nCc \n\n\nTHE NEW York | \nPUBLIC 11 8Y | \n\n\nASTOR, f. \u2018 \nTILDEN FPUS\u201d Al RS \n\n\nCHAPTER XI. \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. \n\n\n\u201cThe Great Spirit, the Creator \nSends them hither on His errand \nSends them to us with His message.\u2019\u2019 \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nUp \u2018to this time our sittings had been held \nregularly. We had been kept amused and \ninterested, but it had never been a question \nof any one of us having a special power. \nThe name of \u201cMedium\u201d was not an envi- \nable one, so that when at last it was declar- \ned that I was the medium through which \nthe results were obtained, I was anything but \npleased and distinctly incredulous. My chief \nknowledge of \u201cMediums\u201d had been obtained \nthrough newspaper reports of various prose- \ncutions in which they had not appeared to \nadvantage. To me, therefore, the name \n9 \n\n\n\\. \n139 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cMedium\u201d was synonymous with that of \nconjurers, or impostors of a specially low \nclass, and I was not anxious to be class- \ned with them. The question was not insisted \nupon and our s\u00e9\u20acances continued in the usual \nmanner, until one evening the difficulty of \nobtaining straightforward messages was the \nsubject of conversation just previous to taking \nour seats in the usual manner at the table. \n\nWe had all tried the psychograph with \nmore or less success, but this did not meet \nall requirements, the process was slow and \nthe writing indistinct. It was suggested that \nif it were really a spirit who wrote, he could \nprobably use the hand of one of us as well \nwithout as with the aid of the psychograph. \nSo the trial was made and one after another \nwe took a pencil in the right hand and in- \nvited the spirit to write, we watching curi- \nously for the result. In several cases we \ncould see how the muscles of the arm and \nhand twitched, and the convulsive jerks of \nthe fingers that held the pencil. Beyond a \nfew scrawls nothing was forthcoming. Others \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 131 \n\n\nwho tried did not feel any affection in their \nhands or arms and soon resigned the pencil. \n\nWhen it came to my turn I first noticed \na tingling, prickling, aching sensation in my \narm, as one feels if one strikes one\u2019s elbow; \nthen a numb swollen sort of feeling which \nextented to my finger tips. My hand became \nquite cold and without sensation, so that I \ncould pinch or nip the flesh without feeling \nany pain. After a few minutes the hand \nbegan to move slowly and laboriously, imitat- \ning the motions of writing; it made repeated \nattempts to form letters and, after a while, \nsucceeded in writing a few large ill-formed, \nill-spelled words. Another attempt resulted \nin a decided improvement; the sensations in \nmy hand and arm, though not painful, were \ndecidedly unpleasant, so that in spite of my \ncuriosity to see what would come of the \nwriting, I was not sorry to have a stop put \nto it by the clock warning us that we had \nbeen seated the regulation time. \n\nThe subsequent meetings were devoted \nto further experiments of the same kind, and \n\n\n132 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nit was not long before my hand became \nquite an adept in the art of caligraphy, and \nwould write, rapidly and well, whole pages \nof clearly formed characters, while we were \nconversing or receiving messages. We very \nsoon noticed that the handwriting had quite \ndifferent characteristics, and not only the \nwriting itself but the matter written had a \nvery distinctly marked individuality. \n\nThese unseen correspondents of ours soon \nbecame familiar to us. We learned to know \nthem by name, and they told us something \nof their history. One, John Harrison, an \nEnglish gentleman who had lived in York- \nshire, lonely, misanthropical, with somewhat \ngloomy religious ideas and rather pessimistic, \nwas given to long prosy discourses, chiefly \non religious subjects, to which we attended \npolitely; but it must be confessed that we \nfelt relieved when another of the invisible \nwriters took charge of the hand and pencil. \nThis was Walter Tracy, an American. His \nstory was, he told us, as follows: \u2014 He was \na student at Yale University or College, and \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 133 \n\n\nwhen the civil war broke out he enlisted as \na volunteer and took part in several engage- \nments escaping without injury, except shoot- \ning off a couple of his own fingers in conse- \nquence of carelessly handling his rifle. His \nfriends desired him to recommence his studies \nwhen the war was over, but he did not relish \nthe idea and wished to overrule it. An end \nwas, however, put to the controversy by an \naccident which removed him to another world. \nHe was drowned by the overlisting of a lake \nsteamer when he and several other pass- \nengers were thrown into the water. He could \nswim, he said, but there was no chance among \nthe clinging drowning creatures who grasped \nat him and dragged him down. Many years \nA\\ater I met a young man, also from Yale \nCollege, and was gratified to learn that in \nvery many respects the little incidents related \nby him as to his life and experience were \nidentical with Walter\u2019s names of places, mast- \ners, houses, and the traditions, customs, and \nhabits of the students. According to Walter\u2019s \nown account he was about twenty when he \n\n\n134 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nvolunteered and twenty two when he was \ndrowned. \n\nWalter very soon made himself a favor-. \nite with our circle; he seemed to bring with \nhim a veritable atmosphere of fun, good \nhumour and _ liveliness. It was he, he said, \nwho made the table accompany the music; \nand after making his acquaintance through \nwriting, we could quite see that it was in \nkeeping with his character. He seemed as \ncurious and interested in our experiments as \nwe were ourselves and many times suggested \nfresh plans for our enlightenment and inform- \nation. Sometimes we would ask a question \nwhich he would be unable to answer. After \nappearing to consider a short while, he would \nwrite: \u2014 \n\n| \u201cTl go and ask a fellow I know; stay \n* till I come back.\u201d \n\nAnd come back he always did and in- \nvariably with the information we had asked, \nbut given in so humorous a style that it \nseemed more of a joke than the serious \nmatter we had considered it. His fun-loving \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 135 \n\n\nbovish nature was a constant source of amuse- \nment for us, and he was always a welcome \nguest, hailing gladly as we did the first sight \no his large round bold wnmiting. \n\nIn reply to a request for details of \nsome particular subject, Walter confessed \nhis inability to enlighten us, but added that \nif we liked he would bring someone whom \nhe called the \u201cGovernor\u201d who would if we \nwere \u201ccivil\u201d probably tell us all we wanted \nto know. But, he added, \u201cYou'll not have \nto talk to him as you do to me. You must \nmind your P\u2019s and Q\u2019s. He is very parti- \ncular.\u201d Of course we promised to be on \nour best behavior and treat Walter\u2019s friend \nwith every respect, feeling a little amused at \nthe implied reproach that we had not treated \nWalter himself with the politeness due to \nhim. \n\nThis new addition to the circle of our \nspiritual acquaintances proved to be a very \ndifferent individual to Walter or John Har- \nrison. He was grave, serious and _philo- \nsophical, yet kind, thoughtful, and patient; a \n\n\n136 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwise student, a faithful fnend, an untiring \nhelper. It is now over twenty years since \nthe evening Walter brought him to us, yet \nduring all this time his friendship has never \nfailed. In sickness, in health, in trouble, in \nease, through evil report or good report, he \nhas been ready with kindly advice and sym- \npathy. From the first he constituted himself \na self elected guide, guardian, friend, ad- \nviser, and mentor, never intruding advice, yet \nalways ready to give it when asked; advice \nnot always easy to accept, sometimes extreme- \nly unpalatable, sometimes so contrary to \nmy inclinations that I have refused to follow \nit, though I must confess that in all such \ncases I have never failed to repent bitterly \nmy waywardness. When I have followed his \ncounsel, trusted to his guidance, all has gone \nwell, never has he made a mistake whether \nin diagnosing a sickness, describing scientific \nfacts or theories, or in his many statements \nrespecting possibilities which had-not as yet \ndawned upon the world. \n\nWe did not all at once realize the great- \n\n\nHUMNUR STAFFORD. \nCopied from a pencil drawing done in total darkness. \n\n\n\u201ci Google \n\n\n} \n\u2018 \n' \ni \n| \n\u2018 \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 137 \n\n\nness of this new Intelligence which came to \nour assistance, but we soon found that we \nhad scarcely needed Walter\u2019s admonitory \nwarning, for even without it we should not \nhave presumed to treat Stafford in the \u201cHail- \ncomrade-well-met\u201d fashion in which we in- \ndulged in the case of Walter himself. \n\nOn asking Stafford of his earthly life, he \ntold us briefly that he was the son of an \nAmerican politician and a German lady, edu- \ncated for the greater part in Germany, inter- \nested in all natural sciences, studious, ambitious \nof acquiring knowledge, fond of experiments, \nan eager enquirer into all matters concerning \nthe adaptation of natural forces to the use \nof man. His scientific career was stopped \nby an accident which rendered him incapable \nof rising from his bed to which he was a \nprisoner for three years previous to his death. \nIt was during these three years that the \nquestion of an after-life began to interest him. \nHitherto he had not troubled himself about \nit; if the subject had been mentioned he had , \nconsidered it one which could not be treated \n\n\n138 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nin the same manner as problems of a mathe- \nmatical or scientific nature. So far as he \nknew no proof of another life was possible, , \nand theories impossible of proof were to him \nuninteresting and useless. \n\nIn his long confinement during which he \nfound he could not pursue his studies, his \nbrain, active and analytical as ever, was drawn \nto the subject of religious beliefs by his \nmother\u2019s tender efforts to give him comfort \nin his despair and grief at being struck down \n* in the midst of his life\u2019s work. For her sake \nhe tried to take an interest in her religion, \nand was surprised to find how much there \nwas still left to hope for. He looked for- \nward to death with something of the same \nanxiety and interest as an experimenter looks \nforward to the issue or developement of a \nplan of which he has been the originator, and \nwhich is to decide the truth of some darling \ntheory he has fostered but scarcely dared \nto acknowledge. \n\nHe wanted what he had aimed for \nin all his studies \u2014 proof \u2014 and for that \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 139 \n\n\nhe was willing, nay glad, to die. He paid \nthe necessary price and gained his object. \nHe died and found proof, inasmuch as he \nstill lived, his intellect unclouded, his love \nof study and desire for knowledge increased, \nhis capabilities for understanding clearer and \nbrighter, his human sympathies hitherto \nrepressed now expanded, and he found himself \nas anxious to teach as he had been to learn. \n\nThis in short, is the account which he \ngave of himself. \u201cMake no enquiries con- \ncerning my earthly career,\u2019 he wrote. \u201cYou \nwill discover nothing, I have not given \nyou my full name. Many of my relations \nstill live and I do not wish to cause them \nannoyance. You may accept my statement \nas to myself. It is true, as is also my desire \nto be of use.\u201d \n\nIn compliance with his wish we never \nmade any enquiry, although opportunities \nwere not lacking. Many remarks, incidental \nto subjects under discussion, betrayed his \npersonal acquaintance with savants of different \nnationalities. \n\n\n140 _ SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nLater on, our circle of unseen friends \nwas increased by a little Spanish girl who \nwrote bad English, interspersed with Spanish \nwords. Her spelling was strictly phonetic, \nher expressions unmistakably those of a \nself-willed impetuous child of seven or eight \nyears. She told us she was burned in a \nchurch in St. Jago, together with her elder \nsister. Walter she said was her great friend \nand she loved him very dearly. I fancy her \naffections were rather capricious, for she \nspeedily attached herself to one of our circle \nwhom she called \u201cGeorgio,\u201d and assured him \nshe liked him best. From that time she \nseemed to lavish all her attentions on her \nnew friend. If Georgio, for some reason or \nother, did not attend, Ninia either did not \ncome or if she came was disconsolate. She \noften betrayed little incidents respecting \nGeorgio\u2019s private life, very much to our \namusement and at times to his unmistak- \nable chagrin. Discretion was an unknown \nquality to Ninia. \n\n\u201cYou should not tell people such things, \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. I4I \n\n\nNinia,\u201d said Georgio sharply one day, after \nshe had entertained us with a descrip- \ntion of an interview between Georgio and a \nyoung lady of whom Ninia exhibited a decided \njealousy. ; \n\n\u201cWhy not?\u201d she rejoined; \u201cit is true.\u201d \n\n\u201cMay be, but it\u2019s not nice of little girls \nto tell tales and let everyone know things \nnot intended for them.\u201d \n\n\u201cYo mus not do tings yo\u2019s shamed to \ntel pepels; dats wat Stafford tels Ninia.\u201d\u2019 \n\nIn spite of her indiscretion Ninia would \nnot permit any of us to make a remark \nderogatory to Georgio\u2019s actions. She seemed \nto reserve to herself the nght to pose as \nhis mentor and looked upon a comment \nfrom us as an infringement of her rights. \n\nFaithful little friend! Some years later \nMrs. F. and I travelled over a thousand miles \nto sit by Georgio\u2019s side as he lay dying. I \nhad been sorrowfully writing a letter at his \ndictation, and just read it over to him. \n\u201cThanks\u201d he said \u201cthat will do. JI will try \nto sign it presently \u2014 Why Ninia! Dear \n\n\n142 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nlittle Ninia! this is good of you,\u201d he exclaimed. \n\nI glanced anxiously at him startled by \nthis expression of joy. His face was lighted \nup with a flush of pleasure and welcome. \n\n\u201cDear little Ninia! don't go away again\u201d \nhe said, looking with longing eyes. Then \nobserving our anxious gaze he said \u2014 \u201cSuch \na dear little thing! \u2014 I am tired. I will \ntry to sleep awhile.\u201d \n\nClosing his eyes he dozed off into what \nwe feared would be the last long sleep, with \na more calm contented smile and _ restful \nexpression on his face than we had seen \nfor days. When he awakened he looked \nanxiously around the room and then his \ngaze fell on the space where he had seen \nhis little friend before, he smiled and made \na little sign of content. Several times he \nmentioned her during the next few hours. \n\u201cShe will get tired of waiting\u2019 he said once. \nHis mind never wandered; he knew the great \nchange awaiting him; and Ninia\u2019s presence \nseemed to give him courage to face it. He \nspoke to us quietly and calmly during the \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 143 \n\n\nlast hour and almost his last words were. \n\u201cDear little Ninia! Dear little friend!\u201d \n\nSometimes I think of those first experiences \nof ours, when, tyros as we were, we thought \nit was useless to encourage such communi- \ncations as Ninia\u2019s. How little we knew, how \nlittle we thought, that the small childish \nunseen visitor would become mightier than \nall the consolations of church and priest to \ncheer and lighten the path of one of our \nnumber through the valley of the shadow \nof death! \n\nYet still another spirit friend came and \nwas made welcome at our little circle. This \nwas a sweet retiring pure minded maiden \nwhose name we were told was Felicia Owen, \nan English girl of about twenty, who at \nthe time of her death was being educated \nin a Catholic school in Wales. What she \nwrote was always in verse, sweet and pure, \nbringing with it a breath from heaven. \nOnce she wrote \u2014 and the words came \nback to my memory with irresistible force \nas I watched the dying Georgio \u2014 \n\n\n144 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201c\u201cAnd when I came to die, it seemed so \nstrange. \n\n\u201cTo find a well-loved voice, a_ kindly \nclasping hand. \n\n\u201cTo meet me, as I stood and trembled \non the shore of that dark sea. \n\n\u201cWhich flowed betwixt eternity and me. \n\n\u201cYet this was so.\u201d \n\nFelicia did not come very often to us; \nperhaps among our circle there were too few \ncongenial souls for the shy gentle poetess. \nPerhaps as I had become the acknowledged, \nthough unwilling medium for all these com- \nmunications, I preferred that the writings \nshould be on subjects of which I was ignorant. \nNot that I possessed the slightest ability \nto write poetry, but it annoyed me to hear \nthat people thought \u201cI could if I tried.\u2019 So \non the whole it was more satisfactory to me \nwhen the communications were of such a \nnature as no one could suspect a young \nwoman something under twenty of being \nthoroughly acquainted with. \n\nSometimes my hand would write quickly \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 145 \n\n\nand steadily for two hours at a stretch, while \nI kept watch on the paper as it was gradually \ncovered with the small close characters of \nStafford, or the large bold writing of Walter, \nand supplying with my left hand fresh sheets \nas required. Sometimes I read the sentences \nas they flowed from the pencil, but generally, \nif I became interes:ed and anxious as to \nwhat would follow, the writing would become \ndisconnected, words would be left out or mis- \nspelt, and the meaning would become unintelli- \ngible. My arm and shoulder would at such \ntimes ache till I felt sick with the discomfort \nand almost faint with pain, but I was begin- \nning to value these communications too much \nnot to bear these trifles patiently, even gladly. \n\nBy the sensations in my hand and arm \nI was soon able to distinguish the different \ncontrols, no two seeming to-use the pencil \nin quite the same manner. Stafford occasioned \nme less \u2018discomfort than any of the others, \nalthough he frequently wrote steadily for a \nmuch longer time. \n\nSometimes a stranger attempted to use \n\n\n10 \n\n\n146 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmy hand and this was instantly perceptible \nto me; sometimes the writing would go from \nright to left as though the controlling or \ninfluencing power operated from underneath \nthe hand. In such cases we had to read \nthe writing reflected by a mirror. As a rule, \nhowever, our most frequent visitors were the \nfive whom I have already referred to, except \nat times when we relaxed our exclusiveness \nand permitted some interested person to join \nour circle for an evening. Invariably at such \ntimes there would be an addition to the \n\u201cspirit circle.\u201d Walter usually acted the part \nof master of ceremonies and introduced the \nunseen guest. In this way many interesting \ntests were given, as it frequently happened \nthat the earthly visitant would be a stranger \nto the majority of us, who knew nothing of \nhim or his affairs. . \n\nThese casual visitors always caused more \nor less of an interruption to our usual \nproceedings, but we could not determine \nwhether this was the result of fresh spiritual \ninfluences, or whether it was owing to the \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 147 \n\n\nnatural curiosity, or perhaps the natural \nscepticism, of the visitors. Some people seemed \nto bring with them a fresh influx of power; \nothers, again, by their presence seemed to \nparalyze the manifestations. \n\nA lady, who had been unremitting in \nher appeals for admittance, was one evening \nallowed to join us. We had been having a \nseries of very successful experiments and \nassembled with a good deal of hopeful expecta- \ntion, for we had been promised some special \nphenomena. We took our usual places, the \nlady visitor being placed opposite to me. \nWe sat a long time, but to our surprise and \ndisappointment the table gave no signs of \nmoving nor could we obtain a stroke of the \npencil. In vain we sang or played. In vain \nwe changed the order of our seats. In vain \nwe begged for some sign of the presence \nof our invisible friends, but no sign was \nvouchsafed to us. Every one complained \nof a feeling of discomfort, prickling, ting- \nling in various parts of their persons, and \none or two felt an unpleasant sensation on \n\n\n148 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe face and hands as though cobwebs were \nbeing drawn over them. At last after nearly \na couple of hours we gave up in despair. \nWhen taking leave, and on our expressing \nregret at our non-success, the lady visitor \nremarked triumphantly: \u2014 \n\n\u201cDo you know why your spirits did not \ncome? I'll tell you. It was because I have \nbeen praying to God without ceasing the \nwhole evening to deliver us from the power \nof Satan and to prevent his manifestations \nwhile I was here. You have had no spirit \nmanifestations, and you may be quite sure \nyou never will have if you pray, as I have \nbeen doing, for protection against the Evil \none. That these manifestations are from the \nDevil you may be quite sure or you would \nhave had your usual success to-night in spite \nof my prayers.\u201d \n\nI had no arguments ready in reply to \nthis. The lady was the mother of daughters \nolder than myself; a good earnest hard-work- \ning church-woman, whose opinions on religions \nmatters carried great weight, and whose self- \n\n\nOUR SPIRIT VISITORS. 149 \n\n\nimposed duty it was to look after the morals \nof all her acquaintances. She regarded our \nexperiments with great suspicion and had \nnot hesitated, in her conversations with me \non the subject, to express her conviction \nthat we were victims of the wiles of the \nEvil one. \n\nAnd _ now this first failure in our experi- \nments and her explanation of its cause non- \nplussed me considerably, and I looked on \nthe idea of our having encouraged his Satanic \nMajesty in our midst with something like \nconsternation! However after discussing the \npros and cons of the lady\u2019s opinion we passed \nupon it the verdict of \u201cnot proven\u201d and \ndecided .to proceed in our investigations and \nawait further developments. \n\nI did not know then, as I know now, \nhow strong a weapon the will can be, and \nhow disastrous to the success of such a \nseance an antagonistic element may prove. \nWe had all that to learn. Later on we could \nafford to smile at the opinions of those who \n\n\n150 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ngave the devil credit for so much and God \nfor so little, but then we were mere tyros, \nand easily made afraid, but thank God, we \nhad courage to go on and learn more. \n\n\nCHAPTER XII. \nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. \n\n\nFor such the bounteous providence of Heaven, \nIn every breast implanting the desire \n\nOf objects new and strange, to urge us on \nWith unremitted labor to pursue \n\nThose sacred stores, that wait the ripening soul \n\n\nIn Truths exhaustless bosom. \nAKENSIDE, \n\n\nOnE evening, for some reason or other, we \nwere sitting without a lighted lamp. The \nday-light had not faded when we commenced \nthe sitting, but though it grew dark no one \nsuggested making a light. Happening to \nglance over to the part of the room where \nthe shadows were deepest it seemed to me \nthat there was a curious cloudy luminosity \nstanding out distinct and clear from the dark- \nness. I watched it for a minute or two \nwithout saying anything, wondering where it \n\n\n152 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ncame from and how it was caused. I thought \nit must be a reflection from the street lamps \noutside, though I had never seen it like that \nbefore. While I watched, the luminous cloud \nseemed to concentrate itself, become substan- \ntial, and form itself into a figure of a child, \nilluminated as it were by day-light that did \nnot shine oz it but, somehow, from zvthin \nit, the darkness of the room seeming to act \nas a back-ground, throwing up by contrast \nevery curve of the form and every feature \ninto strong relief. I called the attention of \nthe others to this strange apparition, and \nwas not a little surprised when they declared \ntheir inability to see-either the child or even \nthe luminosity of which I spoke. \n\n\u201cHow strange!\u201d I said, \u201cI see her so \nplainly that I -could draw her portrait if I \nhad paper and pencil.\u201d \n\n\u201cHere is paper and pencil,\u201d said my \nnearest neighbour, and taking them I began \nhastily to sketch the head, features, and \nshoulders of the little visitor who seemed to \nquite understand what I was doing. \n\n\nThe above is copied from a photo of the pencil sketch \nand writing under same. \n\n\nTHE NEW YORK \nPUBLIC LIRRARY | \n\n\nTILDE eo \n\n\nThe above is a copy of one of the unclaimed portraits \ndrawn in darkness. Actual time occupied \nin sketching, about thirty seconds. \n\n\nDlatiead Google \n\n\nTHE NEW YURK \nPUBLIC HRRARY \n\n\nASTOR, Lio: X ASD \nTILDEN FOUNUATIONS \nR L \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 153 \n\n\n\u201cI believe it is Ninia,\u2019 I remarked, and \nthe little creature nodded her head vivaciously, \nso that I laughed and expressed my pleasure, \nas I finished my sketch, and was viewing it \nwith some pride. \u201cDont you think it is a \ngood likeness?\u2019 I asked Mr. F. who sat \nnear me. \n\n\u201cIt\u2019s hard to. tell in the dark,\u201d he replied, \n\u201cwe must get a light in order to judge.\u201d \n\nThen for the first time I remembered \nthat we were sitting in black darkness, and \nI began to think I had been asleep and dreamed \nof the luminous child-form and my sketching \nits likeness. I held the paper nervously fear- \ning that the lighted candles would reveal a \nblank sheet of paper. But no! There it was; \nI had not dreamed. Ninia\u2019s face smiled at \nus from the paper as she had smiled at me \nfrom her dark corner. I had caught her \nfeatures quite cleverly and felt very proud \nof my performance. \n\n\u201cI can understand your seeing the child\u201d \nremarked one, \u201cbut I cannot understand your \nsketching its portrait in the dark.\u201d \n\n\n154 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nNeither could I understand it myself. All \nI knew was that it was not dark to me. I \nsaw the child, I saw the paper and the pencil, \nbut gave no thought to anything or any one \nelse; in fact, in a short while I did not feel \nat all sure of anything. I required to look \nat the sketch to be certain the whole cir- \ncumstance had not occurred in a dream. \n\nThis new development was a great delight \nto me and the seance evenings were looked \nforward to with new interest. We asked our \nspirit friends to \u201cstand for their portraits,\u2019\u2019 \nand took our places well provided with draw- \ning-paper and pencils. As it was now summer- \ntime it became necessary to darken the win- \ndows, and we found that the darker the room \nthe better the luminous forms were defined. \nAt least I found it so; the others seemed to \nremain obstinately blind to the presence of \nour guests. \n\nDuring the next few months our evenings \nwere fully occupied by the taking of these \nportraits. Sometimes the forms faded from \nmy sight before I had transferred their linea- \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 155 \n\n\nments to paper; sometimes I would succeed \nin sketching two or more portraits during \nthe evening. If any stranger was at the \ns\u00e9ance there came, in nearly all cases, some \nstrange spirits too, and I was frequently \nsuccessful in making a sketch of them. Gener- \nally these sketches were instantly recognized \nand claimed by their friends. Those few \nthat were not recognized I kept myself, but \nthey were not many. Stafford, Walter, John \nHarrison, and Ninia were among the first \nand are still among my valued treasures. \nThe news of this fresh development in \nthe way of mediumship very soon became \nnoised about, and I found myself, much to \nmy dismay, overwhelmed with visitors and \ncorrespondence. It seemed to me that all \nwanted portraits of their dead friends and \nconsidered that I need only shut my eyes \nand begin at once to supply them. Letters \ncame from various parts of the world implor- \ning my assistance, begging me to send por- \ntraits of some lost darling. At first I tried \nto obtain something to satisfy these bereaved \n\n\n156 . SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nones, but, with very few exceptions, without \nsuccess. \n\nOne letter I received from Egypt, from \na Hungarian, who wrote that he was a spir- \nitualist and was accustomed to hold seances \nin his home, and that he frequently had com- \nmunication with a beloved and lost son. \u201cThis \nson\u201d he wrote \u201ctells me that if I send you \na small article which had belonged to him \nhe will be able to come to you and make \nhimself visible so that you can draw his \nportrait.\u201d \n\nA silk kerchief was in the letter and on \nmy next seance night I held it in my hand. \nI waited patiently for what might appear, \nbut for a long while saw nothing; then a \nslim figure of a soldier faintly showed it- \nself against the darkness. This was not what \n1 waited for, but for want of something else \nto do IT hastily sketched in the outlines; \nhowever, before I could do more the figure \nfadecl into darkness and the sketch remained \nunfinished, \n\nKor several weeks I kept the kerchief \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 157 \n\n\nby me during our s\u00e9ances, but without suc- \ncess. Then someone asked, \u201cHow old was \nthe son of the man who wrote you?\u201d \n\nI did not know. \u201cThen is it not possible \nthat the young soldier whom you began to \nsketch was he?\u201d \n\nI had not thought of that, in fact I had \nall the time thought of a child. So I wrote \nto the father asking him for more particulars, \nbut I never received any reply. And the \nyoung soldier\u2019s unfinished portrait remains \nunclaimed in my album. \n\nWhile occupied with this strange work, \nportraying the features of the denizens of \nanother world, I became conscious of my \nown shortcomings in the art of drawing, and \nbegan to spend an hour or so daily in im- \nproving what little talent I had, working \nsteadily for some months; but strange to \nsay, though the work I did improved in \nquality, my power of seeing these luminious \nfigures seemed to decrease, till the obtaining \nof a portrait became a rarity, and seemed in \nsome way to strain my nerves, causing a \n\n\n158 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nviolent headache for a day or two afterwards, \nso that I was reluctantly compelled to desist \nfrom my attempts. \n\nCertainly the power returned occasionally \nand for weeks at a time I was able to execute \nthese pictures. Then again I would be pro- \nstrate for days after a seance, so that even- \ntually, though I came to the s\u00e9ance-room \nprovided with materials, it was without much \nexpectation of being able to use them. \n\nThe circle had by this time undergone \nsome changes. Some members had left the \ntown, some had left England, and others had \ntaken their places at the table. A few of \nthe old members still remained, and had \nnever failed to take the seats they had oc- \ncupied from the time when our investigation \nbegan. One new visitor who had come to \nus in the hope of obtaining a portrait, or \nat least being present while one was being \ndrawn, was the cause of a fresh phase in our \nstudies. This gentleman, Mr. Barkas, was in \nhis way a celebrity and a public man. He \nwas well read in the various sciences, a lover \n\n\nSCIENCE. AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 159 \n\n\nof art, an intelligent and careful observer, \ntaking great and benevolent interest in the \neducation and culture of the working man. \nHe instituted an art-gallery, reading-room, \nand library in Newcastle, and was never \nweary in seeking such objects, to attract \nvisitors, as would tend to their education. \nIn additon to this he frequently gave lectures \non subjects which were for the moment oc- \ncupying public attention; lectures which, how- \never dry the subject, became interesting from \nhis manner of handling it. No matter how \nlarge the lecture hall, it was always filled \nto the last seat with an attentive intelligent \naudience when he occupied the platform. \n\nMr. Barkas F.G.S. was a_ spiritualist. \nHe did not intrude his belief in the existence \nof the spirit world on anyone, but it was a \nwell known fact in spite of his reticence; \nand as a public man he was at times held \nup to ridicule in an unenviable manner, which \nhe accepted with a good humoured nonchal- \nance. \n\nHe became a member of our little home- \n\n\n\u2014\u2014 \n\n\n160 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ncircle in the hope of seeing something new, \nbut for several evenings we were unsuccess- \nful. At last, quite unexpectedly I was enabled \nto see and sketch the portrait of a sweet \nold lady who claimed to be a relative \nof his. He, however, did not recognize her \nexcept by the dress, which might perhaps \nbelong to his grandmother of whom he had \nbut a faint recollection. On one of these \nevenings, while waiting for what might come, \nMr Barkas mentioned that he was about to \nbegin a course of twelve lectures in a large \nhall in the neighbourhood. During the con- \nversation which ensued, it transpired that these \nlectures were to be popular illustrations of \nthe sciences. The first was on electricity \u2014 \nits uses and application, or something similar. \nMr B. proceeded to mention the points of \nthe subject which he would endeavour to \nillustrate to his audience by practical experi- \nment, and spoke of different theories which \nhad been held to account for various phenom- \nena. During the conversation, to which I \nhad been an attentive though silent listener, \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 161 \n\n\nI had been holding a pencil in my hand \nover a sheet of drawing paper, ready to be- \ngin to draw should any model present itself. \nI felt my hand turn cold and numb; then the \npencil began to write, and we read the words: \n\u2014 \u201cMay I ask what particular theories you \nadvocate and intend to illustrate?\u201d \n\n\u201cThat is for me, I presume, \u2019\u2019said Mr \nBarkas, looking at me with a smile. \u201cAre \nyou interested in such matters?\u2019 \n\n\u201cNo \u2014 yes \u2014 I don\u2019t know \u2014 I don\u2019t \nthink I know anything about it. It is Stafford \nwho asks, not I,\u2019\u2019 I replied. \n\n\u201cWell then,\u2019 said Mr B. \u201cif Mr Stafford \nis interested I have no objection to tell him.\u201d \nThen followed a long explanation respecting \ndifferent theories and their merits or demerits, \nconcluding with a dissertation on the parti- \ncular views held by himself, Mr B. and his \nreasons for holding them. During this explan- \nation I had endeavoured to follow it atten- \ntively, as it appeared to be addressed to me, but \nI very soon lost the thread as it were, and \nbecame utterly bewildered with the repetition \n\n\nIt \n\n\n162 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n- of technical terms, and had no more idea of \nthe meaning of the words than if they had \nbeen couched in Hebrew. \n\nAs soon as he had concluded, my hand \nwrote in a clear decisive manner the words \n\u201cYou are wrong. So far as you have gone \nin for experiments they would appear to bear \nout your theory, but go a little further; try \nthe experiments which I shall by your leave \npropose, and you will find that it is not \ntenable.\u201d \n\nMr B. \u2014 \u201cYou seem to be well up on \nthis subject; perhaps you can instruct me \ninstead of my informing you?\u201d \n\nS. \u2014 \u201cI know very little, but I have \nread and experimented somewhat, and these \nthings are always of irterest. It is possible \nI may have noticed things which have escaped \nyour observation, and wie versd,; if I can. \nhelp you in any way it will give me plea- \nsure.\u201d \n\nCertainly this was turning the tables in \na very unexpected fashion on our learned \nfriend. I fancy we all felt a little scandalized \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 163 \n\n\nat Stafford\u2019s cool superiority, for none of \nthose present would have presumed to ques- \ntion Mr B\u2019s knowledge, or the correctness \nof any theory he chose to uphold. At the \nsame time, though I did not understand what \nit was all about I felt a strong but secret \npartisanship for Stafford, and was anxious \nthat he might come out of the argument \nwith success. I fancy the same feeling pre- \ndominated in the other members of the circle, \nfor when at the end of nearly three hours\u2019 \nargument Mr B. said \u201cWell, my friend, I \nwill take your advice and choose another \nsubject for my lecture, and in the meantime \nwill make the experiments you suggest and \nand see the result,\u201d there was considerable \nsatisfaction expressed in the countenances \nand words of the rest of the sitters. \n\nAfter this discovery of Stafford\u2019s erudi- \ntion on scientific subjects, our s\u00e9ances as- \nsumed quite a different character. Mr B,, \nwho had been somewhat startled at his know \nledge being questioned, had made the con- \nversation known to some of his friends who \n\n\n164 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwere, if not interested in the \u201cspiritual mani- \nfestations\u201d, sufficiently curious to see the \n\u201cyoung woman of limited education,\u201d who could \nlearnedly discourse on natural sciences and \npoint out fallacies in the conclusions arrived \nat by savants. These gentlemen solicited per- \nmission to attend our weekly circle, and usually \ncame armed with a long list of questions on \nscientific subjects, which were evidently intended \nto bother the \u201cyoung woman\u201d rather than to \nelicit information. \n\nStafford calmly interfered and wrote: \u2014 \n\u201cIf I can be of any service to you it will \nbe a pleasure to me, but let us have some \norder in our work and take one subject at \na time.\u201d \n\n\u201cWill you tell us with what subjects you \nare well acquainted?\u201d \n\n\u201c[ am not well acquainted with any sub- \nject, but like yourselves I have read a little \nof several. If you mention the subjects on \nwhich you wish to question me I will tell \nyou if I can discuss them with you.\u201d \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 165 \n\n\n\u201cThen we would propose the subject of \n\u201cLight\u201d. \n\n\u201cWell, and then \u2014?\u201d \n\n\u201cSound, Acoustics, Music, Harmonics.\u2019\u2019 \n\n\u201cAnd then?\u201d \n\n\u201cWell, if we discuss these we are afraid \nyour patience will be exhausted; if not we \ncan take up other subjects afterwards.\u201d \n\nThen began what seemed to me a con- \ntest of wits which lasted throughout several \nmonths. As Stafford had suggested, only \nquestions pertaining to one subject were allow- \ned during the same evening. Sometimes the \none subject took several evenings to discuss \nand during that time the gentleman, who \nhad the subject in hand, was fully occupied \nin correspondence with others in different \nparts of the country, verifying the statements \nof Stafford or in gathering matter on which \nto base his questions. \n\nAs far as I was concerned I took no inter- \nest in these discussions beyond a lively desire \nthat Stafford might show himself capable of \ncompeting with the several clever men who \n\n\n166 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwere, as it seemed to me, desirious of prov- \ning their own superior knowledge. I did not \nunderstand the technical terms that were con- \nstantly used and I wondered sometimes if the \nquestioners understood them themselves. Gene- \nrally J amused myself during these prolonged \nsittings with studying the countenances of the \nvarious sitters round the table and speculating \nas to the amount of wisdom they were in- \nbibing from all this learned talk. \n\nOne gentleman used generally to close \nhis eyes and look as though he were strug- \ngling with some weighty scientific problem. \nOnce, in the midst of a lengthy reply which \nmy hand was writing, an unmistakable snore \nwas heard proceeding from the meditating \nscientist, which so provoked my risibility that \nI had great difficulty in sitting quietly enough \nto let the writing go on. \n\nSometimes a question would be asked to \nwhich Stafford would reply: \u2014 \u201cI do not \nknow, but I will enquire and tell you pre- \nsently.\u201d Then there would be a cessation \nof writing for a few minutes more or less, \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 167 \n\n\nwhen he would again set the pencil in motion \nand answer the question. \n\nFrequently at such times \u201cWalter\u2019 or \n\u201cNinia\u201d would fill up the intervals of waiting \nwith funny remarks, or comments on the \n| dryness of the entertainment and wonder whe- \n\u201cther we liked it. Sometimes I would be en- \nabled to sketch the face of one of our spirit \nvisitors but this was very seldom. The s\u00e9ances \nusually left me very weary and exhausted. \nMy health was not good; domestic troubles \nand worries tried me severely and except \nfor the intense interest taken in these s\u00e9ances \nI should have been tempted to give them \nup for a while. However, I had not the \ncourage to disappoint the many anticipations \nindulged in by my friends and kept on as \nlong as my strength would permit. \n\nThe four subjects previously mentioned \nwere under discussion a considerable time. \nIn connection with sound, Stafford described \nvery minutely an instrument for carrying \nsound-waves to unlimited distances; this in- \nstrument he said would shortly be known to \n\n\n168 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe world. His statement was received polite- \nly, as we were accustomed to receive all \ncommunications from him, but as one of the \nsitters remarked when speaking of the in- \nstrument later \u2014 \u201cThose who live longest \nwill see most.\u201d It was not necessary for us \nto become many years older before the Tele- \nphone was given to the world as Stafford \nhad described. \n\nAnother invention which he told us would \n\u2019 appear was what he called a \u201cDesignograph\u201d \nby which a person using a pen or pencil at \none side of the globe could, by means of \nsome electric arrangement, reproduce, on paper \nat the other, his own handwriting, so that \ndesigns and sketches could by the same means \nbe faithfully transmitted the length and breadth \nof the earth. This was a quarter of a cent- \nury ago, but this last invention was only \ngiven to the world within the present decade \nand even now is not generally known or \napplied. \n\n\u201cDear Stafford\u2019 said Mr. Barkas one \nevening; \u201cwe have exhausted our fund of \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 169 \n\n\nknowledge in questioning you. Can you \nsuggest any other subject of interest which \nmay with advantage be discussed?\u201d \n\n\u201cIt is for you to suggest,\u201d replied Stafford. \n\n\u201cIT am at a loss for a subject which would \nbe of general interest\u00ae said Mr. B. with a \nsmile, which made me think of my sleepy \nneighbour. \u201cBut there is a friend of mine, \na doctor of medicine, who frequently asks \nto make your acquaintance; perhaps he may \nbe able to suggest some interesting subject.\u201d \n\n\u201cI shall be pleased to meet any friend \nof yours.\u201d \n\nAccordingly the doctor came and sug- \ngested the entertaining subject of \u201cAnatomy\u201d \nwhich was discussed with seemingly great \nrelish for one or two evenings, the doctor \nand Stafford appearing to me to be vieing \nwith each other in. the use of Latin terms \nand expressions. After bones, the nerves \ncame under discyssion, and here Stafford \nseemed, at once to take the lead. Once he \nbroke off in the middle of a sentence saying: \n\n\n170 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u2014 \u201cWait a little; I must ask a friend of \nmine about this; he is better informed than I.\u201d \ny For half an hour we were entertained by \nWalter who in humorous mimicry of \u201cThe \ngovernor\u2019? gave us a scientific dissertation on \nthe properties of the air which he called \n\u201cOxyhydronitroammoniac.\u201d On being asked \nwhat he meant he replied \u2014 \u201cWhen I dis- \ncourse on scientific subjects I prefer to use \nscientific terms,\u2019 evidently intending this as \na hit at the doctor whose conversation was \nalmost unintelligible to ordinary intellects in \nconsequence of his lavish use of technical terms. \nStafford returned after the lapse of half \nan hour, evidently well. supplied with the in- \nformation he required, and the discussion of \nthe function of certain nerves was resumed. \n\u201cWillis tells me\u2019? \u2014 he began, when the \ndoctor who was watching the words as they \nwere formed on the paper, interrupted \u2014 \n\u201cWillis? What Willis? Do you mean \nthe great Doctor Willis, the authority on the \nnervous system and its functions?\u201d \n\u201cYes, I believe he is considered an au- \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT POKTRAITS. 17! \n\n\nthority; that was why I went to him; some \nparticular nerves of the brain were called \nafter him he says. \n\n\u201cDear me!\u201d remarked the doctor, and it \nseemed to me that his respect for Stafford \nincreased from that moment. \n\nOn the subject of music, which had been \nput off from time to time because we were \nnot acquainted with any one sufficiently well \ninformed to discuss it, we at last were for- \ntunate enough to interest Mr. William Rae a \nclever and celebrated organist. I had been \nfor a short while a pupil in his choir and \nhad a very great liking and respect for him. \n\nAs I have elsewhere mentioned I had \nnever studied music and did not take any \nmore than a very superficial interest in it, \nso that the discussion did not promise any \nentertainment for me. \n\nStafford explained that he was not a \npractical musician, but had read something \nof the theory of music. Practical musician \nor not he soon exhibited a more profound \nand wider knowledge of the subject than \n\n\n172 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nMr. Rae, who said that he would write to \nsome friends to ask their opinions and sugges- \ntions and then return to the subject. Stafford \nconsented and the following week Mr. Rae \nappeared with a long letter from Sir Jules \nBenedict, containing explanations which bore \nout Stafford\u2019s statements on the disputed \nquestions. \n\nThe subject of music, harmony, and the \nvarious constructions of organs and musical \ninstruments seemed a never ending one. In \nspite of my natural desire to be polite and \naccommodating to the good friends who were \n\niso. much interested I grew terribly weary, \nand my health, never robust, threatened to \ngive way under the conflicting cares which \nhad for some time lain heavily on my shoulders. \n\nIn all probability Stafford saw that I \nmust have rest, and at the end of a year \nfrom the beginning of the \u201cScientific seances\u201d\u2019 \nhe said they must be discontinued for a while \nand later on we could return to them. One \nsubject had been proposed which had not \nbeen touched upon, for want of a questioner \n\n\nSCIENCE AND SPIRIT PORTRAITS. 173 \n\n\nsufficiently at home on the subject, namely \nthat of Chemistry. \n\nMr Barkas remarked that much as he \nagreed with Stafford that I required rest, it \nwas a pity that this matter had not been \nbroached earlier, inasmuch as one of the \nbest known Chemists of the day, Mr T. Bell, \nhad been. making earnest enquiry for permis- \nsion to discuss that subject with Stafford. \nBut Stafford was inexorable; Mr. Bell must \nwait; the medium\u2019s health was of more im- \nportance than the discussion of any subject; \nconsequently there was nothing further to \nbe said. \n\nMr. Barkas closed his series of lectures \nby one on \u201cRecent experiments in Psycho- \nlogy\u201d in which, without betraying the identity \nof any one of the circle, he made public \nwhat he called the \u201cExtraordinary replies to \nquestions on scientific subjects by a young \nlady of very limited education.\u201d \n\n' I did not at the time feel particularly \n- flattered at the imputation on my education, \nbut, on taking myself to task for the feeling \n\n\n174 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof annoyance, I had to confess that so far \u00a9 \nas a knowledge of the subjects under consid- \neration was concerned, my education was \ndistinctly limited, and I had no right to resent \nthe remark. \n\nThe whole of the manuscripts as to these \ns\u00e9ances, although belonging to me, were \nretained by Mr. B. in order to publish extracts \nfrom them. After his death I obtained them, \nbut at the same time a request was made \nthat I should not publish them or his name \nin connection with them. I have, therefore, \nonly alluded to what he himself published \nof these s\u00e9ances or at least to that which \nbecame public property. \n\n\nCHAPTER XIII. \nA GLIMPSE OF TRUTH. \n\n\n\u201cThe conflict of the present and the past, \n\nThe ideal and the actual in our life \n\nAs in a field of battle, held me fast \n\nWhere this world and the next-world were at strife.\u201d \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nTHESE experiments which were carried on \nwith few intermissions for four years or more \nwere at last brought to an end. Death had \nstruck terrible and heavy blows. Those who \nwere nearest and dearest to me, whom I had \nloved best, were gone. They had passed \non to the Shadow Land in quick succession, \nand I was left alone. I was worn out and \nwearied with the anxieties and troubles that \nhad crowded themselves together on my \nshoulders till they could bear no more, for \n\n\n176 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\na severe cold which I contracted late in the \nautumn seemed to undermine my constitution | \nand affect my lungs. My doctors, also, sus- | \npected internal cancer, and strongly advised \na residence in a warmer climate if my life \nwere to be saved. \n\n\nThus hopeless, listless, and indifferent, I | \njourneyed to the shores of the Mediter- \n\n\nranean. I had ceased to take much interest \u2014 \nin anything. Weak and exhausted by grief \n\n\nand sorrow, life seemed to hold but little \nto care for, nothing to hope for. The doc- \ntors had said that unless some radical changes \nset in I had not long to live. perhaps three \nmonths, in any case not more than six; and \nso they had sent me away to the south to \ndie. I was willing enough to go. I had \nlived my life and lost all that made it worth \nliving for, so it was well to be done with \nit early. I had now no ties, and but few \nfriends; my relatives, had been alienated from \nme in consequence of the interest I had \ntaken in spiritualism; so that it really seemed \nto me that death for once would do well to \n\n\nA GLIMPSE OF TRUTH. 177 \n\n\ncut off one whose interests and usefulness \nin life were ended. \n\nBut youth has wonderful recuperative \npowers, and health soon restores the love \nof life and paints the future in brighter colors. \nAlmost in spite of myself I rejoiced when \nrenewed strength sent the blood coursing \nmore swiftly through my veins, and my nerves \nthrilled in response to nature\u2019s awakening \nunder the sunny southern heavens. I watched \nthe change from winter to spring from my \nsick couch, and it seemed to me that for \nthe first time in my life I realized how beauti- \nful the world is. The charm of the sunshine, \nthe skies, the air, the verdure, came home \nto me with a new meaning. I stretched out \nmy arms to it all with a longing to under- \nstand and be at one with nature. I felt new \nlife penetrating to my innermost heart; hope \nsprang up from the grave where I had buried \nit as I thought for ever; and with a sort of \nexultant joy I felt how good it was to be \nalive, and thanked God for the blessed gift. \nYet nothing had changed in my surroundings; \n\n\n12 \n\n\n178 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nonly a sunbeam had glinted through the \nclouds that had gathered about me; and \nthrough the rift it made I had seen that \nlife was not worthless because trouble and \nsorrow had come. \n\nFrom that time I made rapid strides on \nthe road to health, and with increasing physical \nstrength I was able to gradually look my \nlife steadily in the face, and also to look \nbackward over the events of the past with- \nout losing faith in the future. . Then it was \nthat I first began to understand what spirit- \nualism meant. Strange as it may appear I \nhad somehow, in spite of all our experiences, \nnever been able to accept the spiritualists\u2019 \ntheories as a conclusive and unquestionable \nexplanation. There was not one of our \ncircle but called him or herself a spiritualist, \nbut I had never been able to bring myself \nto this. Perhaps in my inmost heart I was \none, only the difference between my early \nteachings and this new doctrine was too great \nfor reconciliation. \n\nThe opinions of some professed spiritualists \n\n\nA GLIMPSE OF TRUTH. 179 \n\n\nappalled me. Once in conversation with a \nwell known adherent to the cause, the life \nand work of Christ were mentioned. To my \ninfinite dismay he questioned the very ex- \nistence of the \u201cSon of man.\u201d He was a myth, \nan idea, not an individual. The existence \nof a Deity was also questionable. He was \na bogey to frighten the weak, or a bait to \nentice the selfish, who would endeavour to \nserve him for fear of the consequences, or \nfor the sake of rewards to be gained. All \nthis was very terrible to me. My whole \nnature rose up in revolt. I could not accept \nsuch ideas. I read my bible more diligently \nthan ever before, trying to reconcile its teach- \nings with those of the spirits. Sometimes I \nwould come upon words of comfort and \nenlightenment which I would seize with eager- \nness as upon a key to these mysteries. Then \nagain I would fall back into the slough of \ndespond and see no way out. I seemed to \nbe as it were divided against myself, the \none part holding fast to the old teachings \nand defending them at every point; the other \n\n\n180 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbesieging, assailing, and tearing down defences, \nleaving me worn out and weak with the \ninward struggle. \n\nThere was no one to help me with advice. \nThose to whom I applied would either not \ndiscuss the question or denounced spiritualism \nas the work of the devil. Others, \u201cAgnostics\u201d \nas they called themselves, though I did not \nthen know the meaning of the term, treated \nthe matter with philosophic calmness, and \nbade me not worry myself, or advised me \nto believe in whatever made me happiest \nand let the rest alone. \u201cWhatever is, is\u201d \nthey said and no amount of belief or non- \nbelief on my part could change anything, \neither for me or any one else in the world. \nThus I was thrown back on myself to fight \nit out alone. In the opinion that these mani- \nfestations were from the evil one I could not \nconcur. The character of the communica- \ntions from John Harrison or the sweet poetry \nof Felicia Owen was a direct denial to this. \nIn fact so far as John Harrison\u2019s writings \nwent, their very religiousness affected me \n\n\nA GLIMPSE OF TRUTH. 181 \n\n\nmuch as did our old clergyman\u2019s sermons. \nThe concluding words of both were always \nhailed with a sigh of relief. Certainly there \nwas no more of Satan in John Harrison \nthan in our good old clergyman. \n\nIt was during these weeks of convalescence, \nwhen the love of life had taken fresh root \nin my heart, that I began to understand and \naccept the teachings of these spirit friends. \nHow it\u2019 came about I do not quite know. \nSomehow the quiet days, spent under the \ngreen trees, with the blue skies and sunshine \nbeamimg upon me through the _ branches, \nseemed to make things plainer. I was not \nassailed on all sides with conflicting opinions \nand controversies. I was alone with nature \nand together we fought, together went over \nthe old ground inch by inch. It seemed \nto me then, that those things which had \nbeen irreconcilable when viewed through the \ncolored spectacles of doctrinal teachings, be- \ncame in the clear white light of heaven \nunited and harmonious. \n\nSeen in parts the teachings would appear \n\n\n182 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto bear no relationship the one to the other. \nAs a whole they are linked together and \nform one perfect and glorious truth; much \nthe same as in the brilliant coloring of an \nautumn leaf. Though its vivid green contrasts \nsharply with the rich crimson, yet the two \nare united by innumerable delicate gradations \nand shades of color, till it becomes a perfect \ndream of beauty and harmony, not one faint \ntint too much or too little. : \n\nSo, while considering the teachings of \nthe church, and the teachings of the spirits \nseparately, I could only see the contrasts. It \nwas only when by some mysterious inner \nprocess I was, as it were,\u2019 given a glimpse \nthrough a clearer medium than the dogmas \nof churches or the individual opinions of pro- \nfessors of \u201cisms,\u201d that I was able to trace \nthe truth and beauty that lay between and \njoined the one with the other into a perfect \nand beautiful whole. \n\nTrue, there were many things inexplicable \nto me both then and now; but I felt that I \nhad found the key to a new world; a world \n\n\nA GLIMPSE OF TRUTH. 183 \n\n\nso new, so wonderful, filled with a light so \npure and clear, that I only needed to take \nmy difficulties into its penetrating rays in \norder to have them softened down, smoothed \naway, or explained. \n\n\nCHAPTER XIV. \nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. \n\n\n\u201cProperly there is no other knowledge but that which \nis got by working: the rest is yet all a hypothesis of \nknowledge; a thing to be argued of in schools; a thing \nfloating in the clouds, in endless logic-vortices, till we try \nand fix it.\u201d CARLYLE. \n\n\nWHEN one has made, or fancied one has \nmade, a great discovery I suppose one\u2019s first \nimpulse is to spread the news abroad, never \ndoubting that the knowledge will be as eagerly \nwelcomed and highly valued by the rest of \nthe world as by one\u2019s self. \n\nMuch of the spiritualistic phenomena, as \nwill be seen, had been familiar to me for \nsome three or more years whilst some I had \nbeen accustomed to from my childhood, but \nbelief in these manifestations does not- neces- \nsarily make one a spiritualist, though it is the \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 185 \n\n\nfashion to designate all such believers by that \ntitle. \n\nUp to this time I had rather disliked \nbeing called a spiritualist, the name seemed \nto me without any special signification and \nuncalled for. That one believed in certain \n\n1 facts which were perfectly plain and clear to \nthe most limited understanding gave no one \nthe right to the title, any more than a belief \nin the existence of the stars and planets gives \none the right to call himself an astronomer. \nOn the other hand many of the truest and \nbest spiritualists I have known have never in \ntheir lives witnessed any of the manifestations, \nwhich to others are the first necessary steps \non the road to a better understanding of the \nlaws, which connect the world of matter with \nthe world of spirit. \n\nI have known persons with a_ great \nexperience of mediumstic or spiritualistic \nphenomena. who had an_ unshaken faith in \nthe genuineness of their spirit origin, yet who \nwere, if I may use the words, materialistic \nbelievers not in spiritualism of which they \n\n\n186 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nknew nothing, but in spiritualistic phenomena. \nWith respect to these persons I remember \nan interview with two ladies who called upon \nme. They were feeling themselves lost in a \nforeign country, and hearing that I was an \nEnglishwoman and a spiritualist they paid me \na visit. After dinner the subject of spiritual- \nism became the topic of conversation. The \nladies explained to my other guests, who by \nthe way knew little or nothing of the subject, \nthat they had been spiritualists for three or four \nyears, had had seances with the best mediums \nregardless of expense, and had left no stone \nunturned in their investigation; they were as \nthey themselves said: \u201cperfect witches\u201d for \ndiscovering mediums and never failed to \ninterview every one they encountered. \n\nAt this juncture I felt infinitely thankful \nthat they knew nothing about me as a medium. \n\n\u201cBut\u201d said one gentleman, \u201cthough all \nthis is very interesting and very strange, | \ncannot quite see the need of it. In what way \ndoes it add to the happiness of any one to \nknow that their dear friends have no better \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 187 \n\n\noccupation in the next world than to cause \ntables to jump about, talk bad English through \na medium, or to appear as caricatures, of \nthemselves, as materialised spirits? The spir- \nitualism of Christ seems to me much more \nbeautiful and to those who believe in him it \nis sufficient for every need.\u201d \n\n\u201cOh, yes, I daresay; but then you see we \nhave thrown all that to one side; we don\u2019t \nbelieve in Christ; we want something more \nreal and tangible than those old legends. Of \ncourse Christ was very good and, in the old \ntimes, very likely his teachings were sufficient \nbut in this enlightened age we require some- \nthing more.\u201d \n\nThe materialism of these Spiritualists was \nto me extremely distressing. Spiritualism to \nthem meant phenomena and nothing more. \nTheir professed belief was a very useful \nexcuse for the non-observance of religious \nduties which had become a bore to them, \nand was also useful as a means for obtaining \nadmission to seances to which only Spiritual- \nists were admitted; but beyond these the \n\n\n188 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nname bore no meaning for them. Between \nthese enlightened adherents to the spiritualistic \ncause and myself there was little or no \nsympathy. We went our separate ways seldom \nmeeting again. Probably they are still medium- \nhunting, though in the country in which they \nlive their prey will not be easily caught. \nThat such differences of opinion could \nexist among adherents to the same cause I \nhad no idea and the discovery perplexed me \nnot a little. I was desirous of proclaiming \naloud to the world the great truth I had \ndiscovered. It never occurred to me that the \nworld would not receive the news as gladly \nas I had done. I thought I had only to tell \npeople of my discovery to render them as \nhappy as I felt myself, but somehow my \nstatements were received with discredit. People \nlistened politely, but declined to believe with- \nout actual demonstration. This I tried to\u201d \ngive them, and it was then that I made a new \n4 discovery which seemed likely to upset all \nmy plans for regenerating the world. The \nmanifestations which during the years of ex- \n\n\n> \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 189 \n\n\nperiments seemed to crowd upon each other, \neach one more wonderful than the last, need- \ning no effort on my part to produce them, \nseemed almost impossible to obtain in the \nspontaneous ready manner in which they had \nalways occurred. The power to write on sci- \nentific subjects, which had for so many months \noccupied our time and attention, appeared to \nfail utterly, and questions would be answered \nin so stupid a fashion that I felt very much \nprovoked at times. The clairvoyant faculty, \nwhich in our own circle seldom failed, became \nuncertain and feeble; and the movements of \nthe table were without any meaning which \ncould be understood. \n\nThe facility with which\u2019 all these mani- \nfestations had been previously obtained had \nquite spoiled me for bearing these failures \npatiently, and it was with no little dismay I \nsaw the small result of my first missionary \nwork, and began to realize that I knew next \nto nothing of the laws which governed these \nthings. In some way, either by accident or \ngood fortune, the persons with whom I had \n\n\n\u2014 \n\n\n190 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nexperimented had been peculiarly fitted for \nthe work. Now that I was deprived of the \nmaterial and support of their co-operation, \nthe result of the manifestations depended as \nit were on myself or the uncertain help of \npromiscuous experimenters with less know- \nledge of the subject than I had. \n\nStill I knew we had succeeded and would \nbe able to succeed again, if only similar con- \nditions could be provided. It was uphill work \nhowever and very disappointing in many \nways. I wanted to convert the world, but \nthe world did not want to be converted. \nEventually the world got its own way, as I \ndecided not to force my convictions upon it \nunasked. \n\nAt the same time the missionary spirit \nwas upon me and gave me but little rest. \nI planned and schemed ways for carrying \nout my desire to spread a knowledge of the \nreality of the spirit world and the means to \ncommunicate with its inhabitants, but they \nproved futile, either because people did not \ncare to know, or I found myself powerless \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 19g! \n\n\nto produce phenomena which they considered \nsatisfactory. It had never been suggested to \nmy mind that anyone might or would doubt \nmy statement respecting various phenomena, \nand it was excessively annoying to see the \ndoubts expressed in a significant raising of \nthe eyebrows or a shrug of the shoulders, \neven where my hearers were polite enough \nto restrain verbal comment. \n\nI laid my difficulties before my spirit \nfriends and asked their advice. They told me \nto be patient, not to try to teach others till \nI had learned myself; not to attempt to reform \nthe world or set the church right, but simply \ndo the work nearest at hand, and do it well. \n\nAlthough J tried to carry out this advice \nit was often difficult to decide how to act, \nwhen beset on all sides by persons professing \nthe most intense interest in the subject of \nspiritualism. It seemed to me wrong to re \nfuse help even if I doubted the sincerity of \ntheir professions; I could only try and see. \nOn the whole it was very discouraging work, \nand had it not been for one or two bright \n\n\n192 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nexceptions in the weary round of disappoint- \nments, it is possible my courage would not \nhave held out. \n\nAfter my health had been to a great \nextent re-established by my residence in the \nsouth of France, I made one or two visits \nto friends, spent a few months with Mr. and \nMrs. F. who were then residing in Sweden, \nand afterwards accompanied some acquaint- \nances to Leipzig, where, through the kindly \noffices of Mr. James Burns of London, the \ncelebrated Professor Z\u00e9llner was introduced \nto me, and it was owing to his kindly inter- \nest and that of his mother that my stay in \nGermany brought about one of the encourag- \ning exceptions I have mentioned. \n\nOn the eve of my intended return to Eng- \nland, an accident happened which almost , \ncompelled me to accompany my travelling \ncompanions to Breslau instead of returning \nvid Hamburg to England. I did not like \nthis alteration in my plans as it was likely \nto upset many of my arrangements, but I \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPiRITUALISTS. 193 \n\n\ncould not, for humanity\u2019s sake, desert my \ncompanions under the existing circumstances. \n\nWhen the change of route was told to \nprofessor Z\u00e9llner, he remarked: \u2014 \u201cI have \na friend in Breslau, my oldest friend in fact; \nwe were boys together, and until very recently \nwe were seldom at variance on any subject, \nbut he could never tolerate my views on \nspiritualism; consequently a cloud has arisen \nbetween us which has to a great extent de- \nstroyed the life-long friendship, and although \nit grieves me, I cannot renounce my faith \nin spiritualism, even for my dearest friend. \nI. can only hope that he may at some time \nlook on my views more leniently. If you \ncould make him a spiritualist now, you would \ndo me the greatest service; there is nothing \nin the world I desire so much.\u201d \n\n\u201cVery well\u201d, I replied half jokingly, \u201cI\u2019ll \nmake him a spiritualist for you. What is \nhis name?\u201d \n\n\u201cDr. Friese\u201d he replied as my train mov- \ned off. \n\nThe journey was a long one and the \n\n13 \n\n\n194 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nnight was cool. In consequence of my hasty \nchange of plans, my luggage had been sent \nwrong, and I was left with insufficient wraps, \nso that on my arrival in Breslau I felt very \nunwell, and went at once to bed where I \nwas obliged to remain some days. One morn- \ning without any warning a gentleman was \nushered into my room. I only caught the \ntitle \u201cDoctor\u201d as the maid opened the door, \nbut naturally concluded it was a medical man \nwhom my travelling companions had called \nin to see me, and I at once began to tell him \nof my aches and pains. \n\n\u201cBut my dear young lady, you mistake, \nmy name is Friese.\u201d \n\n\u201cAre you not a doctor?\u201d \n\n\u201cYes, I bear that title, but not a doctor \nof medicine. I came to see you in conse- \nquence of a letter from my old friend Prof. \nZollner of Leipzig asking me to call upon \nyou. \n\nThis was a predicament indeed. I did \nnot know what to say or do; my face was \nburning and I wanted to hide it under the \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 195 \n\n\nbed clothes and relieve myself by crying. \nHe saw my embarrasment and probably felt \nfor me, because he began asking about the \nattendance at the hotel which he thought \nmust be very poor, or such a mistake could \nnot have happened. I told him how very \nlitle I knew about it, and that no one had \ntroubled very much about me either one way \nor another. My friends had asked each day \nhow I was and if I wanted anything, and \nthat was all. As I did not feel to want \nanything but to be left alone they supplied \nthat want perfectly. \n\nI fancy Dr. F. must have used some very \nbad language. I didn\u2019t understand German, \nso cannot judge as to the words he employed, \nbut the effect was marvellous. There was no \nlack of attention during the next hour or \ntwo. When the Dr. returned to my room \nhe was accompanied by a medical man and \nthe hostess of the hotel. The gentlemen \ndiscussed the advisability of removing me to \nthe house of Dr. Friese, and the landlady \nprotested against it saying there should be \n\n\n196 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nno want of care on her part in future. She \nhad supposed that the other lady of our \nparty had done all that was required or there \nwould have been no neglect. \n\nThey seemed to me to be making a great \nado about nothing, and I begged they would \nnot give themselves any trouble on my be- \nhalf. The matter was settled thus. My trav- \nelling companions were wishful to proceed on \ntheir journey, and I decided to remain where \nI was till well enough to return to England. \n\nThey left next morning, and Dr. F. and \nhis sister insisted on my coming to them till \nI had quite recovered. So I became an in- \nmate\u2019 of the Doctor\u2019s house. The winter was \na long and tedious one and I did not get \nquickly rid of the cold I had contracted, so \nthat my stay was indefinitely prolonged. \n\nDr. Friese was one of the most method- \nical men I ever met, and as soon as it was \nultimately decided that I should not under- \ntake the journey to England till the frost broke \nup, he drew up a plan for me to follow, as \nto my daily pursuits. I may mention that \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 197 \n\n\nDr. F. was an accomplished painter, and an \nenthusiastic musician. Above all he was a \nteacher. I do not think he could under any \ncircumstances have refrained from exercising \nhis schoolmaster propensities on any young \nperson who came under his notice. He soon \ndecided that the defects in my education \nmust be remedied, and he set himself to do \nit, laid down his rules and regulation\u2019 au- \nthoritatively and I most humbly obeyed them. \nAnd he not only made rules, but he saw to \ntheir being carried out, so there was no \nescape; in fact, nobody ever tried to evade \nthem. He himself lived by the clock, and \nhis household had to do the same. His rules \nrespecting me were as follows. \n\n7.30. Rise \u2014 bathe \u2014 dress \u2014 with \nassistance of a maid. \n\n8 o\u2019 clock. Breakfast. \n\ng to 11. Drawing or painting. \n\n11 to 12.30. Walking or skating. In \nthe latter excercise he generally skated and \npushed my sledge. \n\n12.30 to 1. Rest. \n\n\n198 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n1 to 2. Dinner. \n\n2 to 4. Drawing or painting. \n\n4 to 5. Walking if fine; if not, write \nletters. \n\n5 to 6.30. Tea, and short readings in \nGerman. \n\n6.30 to 10. Concert, or opera, if there \nwere any; if not conversation on the subject \nof spiritualism. \n\n10.30. Sandwich and milk. 11. To bed, \n\u2014 no excuse allowed for sitting up. \n\nIn this way the days passed. I chafed \nagainst the monotony but to no purpose. At \nlength one week of incessantly falling snow \nand rain put a stop to our customary prom- \nenades, and an interval in which there were \nno new operas played or concerts given re- \nleased me from\u2019 what was beginning to feel \nsomething like purgatory. The Dr. said he \nwas determined to cultivate my musical taste. \nIn vain I protested that he could not culti- \nvate what did not exist. He would allow no \nexcuse. To concerts or opera I must go. \nAnd I went willingly in the case of an opera, \n\n\nSAVANTS BECOME SPIRITUALISTS. 199 \n\n\nbut with badly concealed unwillingness in the \ncase of an instrumental concert. \n\nDuring the days of enforced abstinence \nfrom music the time was spent in discussing \nspiritualism and in trying experiments, which \nsucceeded admirably when we were alone or \nin company with one or two friends. \n\nThe Dr. was most interested in the auto- \nmatic writing, and in spite of his love for \nmusical evenings he acceded at last to my \nTequest to spend some evenings in writing \nand other experiments, instead of attending \n-the concert hall. \n\n\nCHAPTER XV. \nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. \n\n\n\u201cBut human ignorance and prejudice shall at length \npass away, and then science and religion shall be seen \nblending their parti-colored rays into one beautiful bow \nof light, linking heaven to earth and earth to heaven.\u201d \n\n\nPror. HITCHCOCK. \n\n\nIr 1s not necessary to relate the long argu- \nments and discussions which were brought \nto bear on the subject of spiritualism, nor \nthe many questions put to the spirits, which \nwere answered chiefly by \u201cStafford\u201d. It \nmattered little whether they were couched \nin German or English, the replies written by \nmy hand were equally concise, logical, and \nto the point. To me it seemed as though \na struggle for the mastery was being waged \nbetween the Dr. and the spirit. One evening \nI remember the contest went on for hours \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 20t \n\n\ntill the clock, striking the hour of mid-night, \nreminded the Dr. that he had forgotten his \nusual punctuality, and had even omitted to \neat his sandwich or to order me to my \nroom. This unheard of circumstance seemed \nto occasion him a good deal \u2018of concern, for \nhe remarked, \u201c Zhzs must never happen again.\u201d\u2019 \n\nThe next day or two I noticed that he \nwas very thoughtful and distrait, allowing \nsome very bad work of mine to pass without \nthe sharp correction or comments, he invari- \nably made over my crude drawings. \n\nIn the night I heard him pacing to and \nfro in his room, but when I asked if he \nwere ill, he would reply: \u201cI am well, but much \nperplexed.\u201d I began to feel perplexed too, \nand to wonder in what way I could help \nhim, but he refused to ask more questions. \nof the spirits or even to discuss the subject \nwith me. This reticence made me fear that \nhe was disgusted with it, and I was not a \nlittle afraid that not only was my half jesting \npromise to Prof. Z\u00e9llner likely to result in \nfailure, but that the breach between the two \n\n\n202 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nfriends would widen rather than be bridged \nover. \n\nIt was the third day of this strange silence, \nwhich was becoming almost intolerable to \nme, when the Dr. told me that I was to \nget on with certain studies alone as, he would \nbe engaged for some hours at the university. \nHe had to give a lecture he said. \n\nIt was nearly ten o\u2019clock when he returned, \nand sent a servant to request my company \nin the drawing room for a few minutes. I \nwent wondering at this unusual request. \n\n\u201cDo you know what I have done?\u201d he \nasked when I entered the room. \n\n\u201cNo.\u201d \n\n\u201cCan you not guess at all?\u201d \n\n\u201cNo,\u201d and I began to feel rather afraid \nof what was coming. \n\n\u201cThen I will tell you. I have to-night \npublicly declared that I am a spiritualist \nand tendered my resignation as professor in \nthe University.\u201d \n\nI was too much astonished to comment \non this and somehow I felt sorry for him. \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 203 \n\n\nI had certainly done my best to bring about \nthe conviction of the truth of spiritualistic \nteachings, but it had never occurred to me \nthat so much was involved. In spite of my \npleasure I had almost a feeling of consterna- \ntion at the sacrifice he had made. \n\n\n\u201cWas it necessary to resign?\u201d I asked. \n\n\n\u201cYes. In my capacity I was bound to \nuphold the teachings of the church and to \npunish any heresies or lapses from its doc- \ntrines. As a spiritualist I cannot do this, \nand therefore the only honest thing for me \nwas to resign at once.\u201d \n\n\u201cWas it necessary to publicly acknowledge \nyourself a spiritualist?\u201d \n\nI felt a little ashamed of the question \nand more so when he replied severely, \u201cCan \nyou ask if it were necessary? What would \nyou have done?\u201d \n\nI knew that I would have done the same, \nnay more! There was no sacrifice I would \nnot have made, but all the same I could \nnot help being sorry that he had had to \n\n\n204 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmake one so great and could only hope that \nspiritualism would make ample restitution. \n\nThe first work next morning was to write \nto Professor Z\u00e9llner sending him a newspaper \ncontaining the astonishing news of the Doctor\u2019s \nresignation and the comments of the press, \nwhich were, to say the least, not compliment- \nary. The reply came in the shape of the \nProfessor himself who had taken the first \ntrain which brought him to Breslau. \n\nThe meeting between the two friends was \nvery affecting. They were neither of them \nyoung men, though the Professor was much \nthe younger of the two, but in their delight \nin meeting and their reconciliation they seemed \nlike two boys. They were so full of their \nnew uniting interests that they reminded me \nforcibly of the time when the light had \njust come to me, and I had planned how to \nbring the good news to all my fellow creatures. \nAs Jf had schemed and planned, so they \nwent over the same ground. They would write \nbooks. They would give lectures. The name \nand reputation they bore would open the \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 205 \n\n\nway to all classes, and people would eagerly \naccept the good news, because \u00a2Aey brought it. \n\nI listened to all their glowing plans and \nprojects and felt my own hopes rise. I had \nfailed to make the world listen to me, \u2014 a \nnobody. With these two, it was different; \nthey were learned men, well known savants \nwhose words were listened to with respect \nand attention, whose opinions were adopted \nbecause they were known to be careful stu- \ndents who did not make a statement for \nwhich they could not vouch; men whose \nbooks were accepted as the highest educa- \ntional works in their particular line; men whose \nconclusions were received as final, who in \nfact were authorities whom none ventured to \nquestion or doubt. \n\nThe few days spent together by the two \nfriends must, indeed, have been happy ones \nto them. It was, as it were, the resting place \nbefore launching out into the troubled stormy \nsea. I am not sure that they ever met again \non earth, but their interests were never again \n\n\ndivided. \n\n\n206 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nLike myself, they found the world loath \nto accept the new teachings, and even fheir \nnames would not carry with them a conviction \nof the disinterested good-will they bore \ntowards their fellow creatures. They were \nboth indefatigable in their efforts and to the \nlast maintained the cause for which they had \nsacrificed so much. Someday the universities \nof Leipzig and Breslau will be proud of \nowning these two men as the pioneers who \nwent out from their midst to advocate a \ndespised cause, sacrificing much and suffering \nmuch, but imbued with the same spirit which \nanimated the early Christians and made them \nsteadfast to the end. \n\nWe, in England, where freedom of thought \n! is not only tolerated but encouraged among \nhigh and low alike, can scarcely understand \nthe peSition of men in Lutheran countries, \nwho secede from the etablished church, and \npresume to hold opinions of their own. They \nmay become Atheists or Materialists, and \nnobody troubles about it: but they may not \nadvocate any other views concerning the means \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 207 \n\n\nof salvation than those taught by the Clergy \nor they are immediately looked upon with \nsuspicion. To promulgate their opinions is a \nheinous offence, and punishable by severe \npenalties. Knowing this I can understand that \nin advocating spiritualism and in endeavouring \nto teach its grand truths, these men found \nthey had taken on themselves a thankless task. \nIt made them old before their time and cut \nshort their lives. \n\nIt was with sorrow I learned a few years. \nlater that Professor Z\u00e9llner had earned his. \ncrown of martyrdom, and had passed on to the \nshadowland to wear it. No doubt he was glad \nto go, but there were many left who missed him \nfrom the ranks; many workers in his native \ncountry, who felt that in losing his co-operation \nthey were losing a great support. Although \nhe has gone his work remains, and will be \nvalued in the years to come when a later and \nwiser generation peoples the land he lived in. \n\nBut at the time I write of, when the \nfriends were rejoicing in their new-found \nbrotherhood they did not know of the trials. \n\n\n208 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nin store and were content to enjoy to the full \nthe happiness of the hour, never fearing what \nthe future might hold. During the visit of the \nProfessor, the Doctor\u2019s rooms were crowded \nwith callers all anxiously enquiring about \nthis new thing. The news had spread like \nwild-fire throughout scholastic circles and the \nmost extraordinary reports were in circulation. \nMany imagined that the Doctor kept a supply \nof ghosts on hand to perform miracles of \nlegerdemain, healing the sick, or giving \ninformation about lost friends or property. \n\n\u201cWhat am I to do with these good people?\u201d \nhe said once in comic despair. \u201cThey don\u2019t \nseem to understand that the name spiritualist \nis not synonymous with that of wizard or \ndealer in Black Magic.\u201d It was indeed difficult \nto know how to satisfy all enquirers, nor \ncould I help him, my ignorance of German \nbeing an effectual barrier between me and \nnon-English speaking visitors. This at first \nwas considered a drawback to my usefulness, \nbut the Doctor often remarked later that he \nwas glad of it, or I should be talked to death \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 209 \n\n\nif I had to answer all the questions put to \nme by the strangers who thronged his rooms. \n\nAmong the doctor\u2019s most intimate friends \nwas a gentleman whom I will here call Herr \nX. This gentleman enjoyed the reputation of \nbeing the strongest man in Silesia, and he \nwas evidently proud of it. He spent much \nof his time in athletic exercises and frequently \nboasted to the doctor of some of his feats \nof strength and was always listened to good- \nhumouredly. \n\n\u201cStrong as you are though,\u201d remarked the \ndoctor one day,. \u201cI don\u2019t believe you could \nhold down that table, if \u201cWalter\u201d chose to \nlift it.\u201d \n\n\u201cDon\u2019t you think so? Well, my dear Sir, \nif Walter has no objection I'll soon satisfy \nyou on that point; I\u2019d like to see the ghost \nor the man either, for that matter, that I \ncould not beat if it is a question of strength.\u201d \n\n\u201cSuppose we try him,\u2019 said the doctor to \nme. \"It would do no harm to take the \nconceit out of this young man.\u201d \n\nI had no objection, so seated myself at \n\n14 \n\n\n210 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\none end of an oblong table, and waited for \nwhat might come. To my surprise Herr X. \nremoved his coat, unfastened his wnstbands, \nsquared his shoulders, and laid hold of the \nunoffending table as though it were some \nunruly animal that required keeping in its \nplace by sheer strength. \n\nSeeing that the table made no attempt \nto move, all this preparation seemed super- \nfluous and I watched Herr X. with no little \ncuriosity. He held the table down as though \nhe would crush it through the floor. The \nmuscles of his arms were strained to their \nutmost tension; beads of perspiration stood \non his forehead, the veins swelled, and he \nseemed to be exerting all his strength, but \nthe table did not try to move. Every now \nand again he would relax his hold for a \nmoment to wipe away the moisture from his \nbrow; and then the table would give little \nshort quick jumps, which instantly caused \nHerr X. to redouble his efforts and to make \na grab at the table, as a cat would pounce on a \nmouse that was about to escape its clutches. \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 211 \n\n\nThis went on for something over half an \nhour, but with the exception of these small \nsigns of life the table remained perfectly \npassive. At the expiration of that time, Herr \nX. stood upright and dried his face and neck, \nremarking that \u201cthe spirits knew better than \nto tackle him.\u201d \n\n\nI felt disappointed and judging from the \ndoctor\u2019s expressions he was also feeling some \ndegree of chagrin. \n\n\nAt this juncture the table began to move \nin a gentle rocking manner, and seeing this \nHerr X. made a fresh attack, but this time \nthe table kept on its gentle regular movements \nneither quicker nor slower, neither diverging \nan inch more to the right nor to the left, \nin spite of the strength which Herr X. tried \nto exert. He did his best; he held on as if \nfor his life; he threw himself on the table \nwhere he was rocked as/in a cradle. The \nspectacle of this Hercules struggling with a \ntable was so intensely funny, that / felt helpless \nwith laughter. At last he gave up in anger. \n\n\naS \n\n\nBis SHADCW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cft ig a cown-ignt swindle\u201d ae =sciammed \nangrily: \u201cit is mot fair.\u201d \n\n\u201cWhat is a swindle> Waar istt Sair- \ndemanded the doctor. \n\n\u201cWhy that style of wrestling, tm ala \ntick on that Walters part He just made \nme exhaust myself betore ever ne started. \nand it is no test of strenyth. I[ suppose\u201d he \n\n\n-~ \n\n\nsaid rather suspiciuusly, syou tink I have \nbeen heaten, but [ protest ayamst that manner \nof wrestling. [f Walter wil play fair Tl \nguarantee [Tl hold the table in spite of him, \nbut [ wont go in for that stvle again\u201d \n\nHis indignation was so ludicrous that it \nwas with difficulty we could refrain from \ntormenting him as to the uselessness of his \n\n\nwasted strength. \n\n\nHerr X. became a spiritualist, not because \nits teachings appealed to him, not because he \nwas interested in knowing of the existence \nof another life, but because he found a fad/- \nwhich had played a trick on him, and made \nhim exhaust his strength before beginning \nthe contest in which he was worsted. \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 213 \n\n\nIt has often struck me as strange that \u00b0 \ndifferent temperaments require such different \nmanifestations to make any impression on them. \nSome men would not consider it worth a thought \nif all the chairs and tables in the house became \nanimated. Others again would view all the \nmaterialised forms that were ever produced, \nwith perfect indifference. Others would look \nwith contempt on all the inspired writings in \nthe world. \n\nThe man who cared nothing for all the \nmost beautiful thoughts expressed by our \nspirit friends, would be overwhelmed with awe \nand reverence when the movements of a table \nnearly broke his leg or knocked him into a \ncorner. Another man believed neither the \none nor the other, but would have believed \nthat the moon was made of cream cheese \nwhen, at his request, a knot was tied in a \nring cut from a tanned hide without the ring \nbeing cut, broken, or otherwise damaged. \nAt the same time I do not pretend to say \nthat any of these men became spiritualists in \nthe true sense of the word. Belief in phe- \n\n\n214 \u201cSHADOW LAND. \n\n\nfsnomena, does not make the believer a spirit- \nualist. \n\nDr. Friese had no sooner got through \nthe first interviews with his friends after his \nresignation than he set himself to work with \nhis first book on the subject of spiritualism. \nIt was published in Leipzig under the title \n\u201cJenseits des Grabes.\u201d Shortly afterwards \nfollowed a larger work \u201cStimmen aus dem \nReich der Geister\u201d which owed its origin \nprincipally to the writings and communications \nof Stafford and Walter. \n\nIt was with real sorrow we parted, when \nthe time came, to go our different ways; he \nto continue his studies on the now absorbing \nsubject, and to publish his books; I to return \nto England to obtain if possible employment \nfor my pencil. During the months of study, \nunder the direction of the doctor, I had made \ngreat progress in the art of drawing, or at \nleast I thought I had, and believed I could \nreadily obtain work of a lucrative nature. \n\nI may as well confess at once that I \nfound other people did not express the same \n\n\na \n\n\nCONVERTS AND CONVERTS. 215 \n\n\nopinion, in fact the sketches of which I was \nmost proud elicited the remark, \u201cI suppose \nthis is to be viewed from a distance,\u201d from \none of my friends whose criticism I had \nrequested. \n\nI felt terribly discouraged at first, and \ninclined to give up my idea of ever becoming \nan artist, but other work crowded upon me \ntill I only took up my pencil as an amusement \nfor some years to come. The missionary \nspirit again took possession of me, and as I \nhad come amongst a number of persons who \nwere also strongly interested in making pros- \nelytes, I found many earnest supporters who \nwere ready to help with advice and suggestions. \n\n\nCHAPTER XVI. \nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. \n\n\n\u201cThere is mystery in all things and in all beings; \u2014 \n\n\nin star and atom \u2014 in ocean and dew-drop \u2014 in tree \nand flower \u2014 in animal and worm \u2014 in man and angel \n\u2014 in Bible and God! Not a world exists in which there \nis not mystery.\u201d Dr. Davies. \n\n\nA circLE was formed of from twelve to \nfifteen persons, my old friends Mr. and Mrs. \nF. being of the number, together with one \nor two others \u2018who had assisted in the first \nof our experiments. For the convenience of \nthe different members whose homes were \nsituated in various parts of the town, it was. \ndecided to use my painting-room or studio \nas a s\u00e9ance room, it being easy of access to \nall, and here we met twice a week for the \npurpose of experimenting. \n\nWe were most desirous of cultivating the \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. \u201d 219 \n\n\nportrait-sketching, as I felt myself now much \nmore proficient in the art, and even had the \nbelief that under favorable conditions I could \nsucceed in making colored sketches. This I \nattempted on one or two occasions and was \nfairly successful, but the power to see the \nspirits in the distinct clear manner necessary \nfor this, was intermittent and we were fre- \nquently disappointed. Sometimes, indeed, suc- \ncess attended us and the portraits obtained \nwere invariably recognized. Several of these \nwere afterwards photographed, but the origin- \nals were kept by the friends who claimed \nthem as the portraits of their lost relatives. \nI have frequently regretted that any of them \npassed out of my hands before having them \nphotographed, as I only retain the very few \noriginals which were not claimed. As it is \nthey are scattered far and wide in different \nparts of the world. \n\nAnother experiment was to read closed \n\u2018or sealed letters. The first attempt was fairly \nsuccessful. I could see the writing distinctly, \nbut had to follow the folds of the paper, \n\n\n218 : SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nturning it over and over to trace the lines. \n\n\n| It was enclosed in seven envelopes, gummed \n\n\n~_\u2014 \n\n\nand sealed, and was wmitten in a language I \n\n\ndid not know, so that I had to spell every \n\n\nword aloud in order that a member of the \ncircle should write it according to my dicta- \ntion. \n\nAnother time a letter was given me to \nread, but in spite of repeated trials, I was \nunable to make anything of it. At last, once \nwhen | took up the envelope I was delighted \nto find its contents clearly visible to me, but \nit also was in a foreign language \u2014 Swedish \n\u2014 and I was compelled to copy each word \ncarefully, not knowing its meaning. \n\nAt the first I used to wait anxiously for \nthe letters to be opened, to be assured that \nI really had seen the actual writing, but as \nthere had never been a mistake so far, I had \nno more fear; I knew I had seen what was \nbehind the sealed cover. \n\nEven this power fluctuated. Given two \nletters to read, the one would be as clear \nand distinct as though spread out before \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 219 \n\n\nme, the other perfectly impenetrable. Once \nor twice I have kept such letters by me, \ntrying now and again to decipher the sealed \ncontents. In some cases after having kept \nthem for awhile I was enabled to see and \nread them, though with difficulty, having to \nguess at the words very often. Frequently \nthe paper appeared of a murky tone, some- \ntimes quite black, and the written words indis- \ntinguishable. Strange to say, I always had \na particular aversion to such letters, in some \ncases almost amounting to horror. I hated \nto touch them, and after having done so I \nfelt an instinctive desire to wash my hands. \nQuite in vain I tried to combat this feeling \nas it interfered frequently with my usefulness. \n\nAny compulsion which I put on myself \nwas, however, detrimental to the exercise of \nthese powers. Many times I have said to \nmyself \u201cI will read this letter and win him \nover to our cause,\u201d not because I had any \nparticular sympathy for or with the writer, \nbut perhaps because his social or influential \nposition made him a desirable partisan, or \n\n\n220 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nhecause his obstinate unbelief excited a feel- \ning of antagonism, and I was anxious to show \n| was right in my assertions that it could \nbe done. | do not remember, however, ever \nmeeting with any marked success in such a \ncase. At other times letters from perfect \nstrangers, whom I had never seen, were clear \nas crystal to my vision. \n\nThis power, although affording our circle\u2019 \na good deal of entertainment, when confined \nto ourselves, gave rise to considerable dis- \navreableness, when it became talked about \namong outsiders, and more than once we \nwere annoyed by the comments of persons \nof anti-spiritualistic proclivities who did not \nhesitate to say it was all an imposition. It \nwas most difficult to keep these things entire- \nly within the select circle we had formed, \nalthough such had been our first intention. \nPeople were constantly begging the acquaint- \nanceship of one or the other of us, and by \nthis means gaining admission to our s\u00e9ances. \nIndeed the friendship of many whom I mast \nhighly esteem dates from that time, and of \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 221 \n\n\ncourse I have also a distinct memory of \nsome who were not friends. At least I never \ncounted them as such till one day just lately \nI was told by Stafford, that \u201cEnemies are \noften of more value than friends, inasmuch \nas they discover our faults and magnify them, \nhide or ignore our virtues, and by so doing \nshow us clearly the need of improvement. \nFriends, on the contrary, magnify our virtues \nand ignore our faults.\u201d \n\nI suppose this is all very true, but I \nthink most people prefer friends to enemies, \nthough enemies may be necessary as correct- \nives occasionally, as were the doses of rhubarb \nand magnesia, or the fever-powders of my \nchildhood. But I did not like the medicine \nthen; neither do I value enemies now, in \nspite of the wise sayings of Stafford. I \nhave no objection to anti-spiritualists, in fact \nI enjoy converting one of them, but I do \n\n4 object to the man who denounces a thing \nhe does not understand, and of which he \nhas no personal experience. I consider it \narrogant assumption in the man who with- \n\n\n222 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nout experience or knowledge attempts to \nquestion the faith of those who have spent \na life-time in careful research and experiment, \nno matter what the object may have been. \nIn respect to this particular subject it is only \nthe utterly ignorant who would so presume. \nThe man who has spent even a little time \nin unprejudiced enquiry would not dare to \nsay: \u201cThere is nothing in it.\u201d He might \nfind much that annoyed him, much which \ndid\u2019 not appeal to him, but he would be \nsilenced. He would only say: \u201cI do not \nunderstand it.\u201d \n\nAt the time of which I write, 1873 to \n1880, there was a good deal of excited \nfeeling with respect to the phenomena. There \nwere several mediums, whose s\u00e9ances were \nreported in various papers, and the ant- \nspiritualists took the opportunity to make hay \nwhile the sun shone. The most ignorant \nmen who knew how to string words together \nstood up on the public platforms and de- \nnounced spiritualism with all the force of which \nthey were capable. Following the advice of \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 223 \n\n\na celebrated barrister to a younger colleague, \nwhen they saw the case going against them, \nthey abused their opponent with every in- \nvective and opprobrious epithet in their vo- \ncabulary. Possibly these men were the ene- \nmies, who, Stafford would say, were of value, \nbut they certainly made the work of mediums \nvery difficult just at that time. \n\nOne of the mediums who came in for a \ngood deal of abuse from these wise lecturers \nwas Mrs. M, a young married lady with \nwhom I had some slight acquaintance for a \nconsiderable time, and whose seances for \nmaterialisation I had more than once attended. \nShe had previously used the room which I \nnow occupied and her cabinet still remained \nin the corner. Her health was not very good \nat the time, and she had discontinued her \ns\u00e9ances. One evening we had been holding \nour usual weekly meeting which had proved \nquite unsuccessful, probably owing to a storm \nof wind and rain which made the prospect \nof the journey home very unenviable. We \nclosed our meeting early and waited till the \u2014 \n\n\n224 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nrain should cease before going out. In the \nmeantime someone proposed that one of us \nshould seat- himself behind the curtains of \nMrs. M.\u2019s cabinet and see if a materialised \nghost would present itself. As no one \nhad any objection, this was done and we \nseated ourselves round about and_ began \nto sing. We sang every tune we knew of, \nand were beginning to wonder how long \n. this was to last, when the sound of a snore \nfrom behind the curtains announced the fact \nthat our \u201cmedium\u201d was having a more com- \nfortable time than we outside, and we declined \nto continue to produce soporific melodies \nfor his benefit, and therefore requested him to \n- give up his place to some less sleepy person. \nThereupon he took his seat in the circle, \nand Mrs. F. volunteered to take the vacated \nchair behind the curtains. We began to sing \nas before, making it a condition, however, \nthat she was not to go to sleep and keep \nus singing to no purpose. Less than five \nminutes elapsed, however, before Mrs. F. \nrushed out declaring there was something \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 225 \n\n\nalive in the cabinet and she was afraid. This \nwe looked on as only an excuse; so we opened \nthe curtains and examined the interior of the \nsmall square cabinet. There was no sign of \nanything living or dead, nothing indeed but \na wooden chair! \n\nWe persuaded her to try again, and she \nvery reluctantly resumed her seat, while we \nranged ourselves as before and began a new \n| tune \u2014 or scarcely began, however, before \n\n_ Mrs. F. sprang out declaring that nothing would \n\ninduce her to remain a moment longer behind \nthe curtains, as she was certain there was \nsomething alive there. Finding persuasion \nuseless I boldly declared my intention of \nbraving the \"something alive\u201d and seated \nmyself in the cabinet while Mrs. F. took my \nplace in the circle. \n\nFor a few minutes there was perfect still- \nness, and I was beginning to think that my \nfriend\u2019s imagination was very strong, when \nI became conscious of a curious disturbance \nof the air within the enclosure. There was \nno sound, and as the thick curtains effectually \n\n15 \n\n\n_\u2014_ \n\n\n226 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nexcluded the light I could see nothing, but \nthe air around me seemed agitated as though \na bird was fluttering about. \n\nI would not confess it even to myself, \nbut at that moment I felt something very \nlike fear, and a desire to rush out into the \nlight and company of the singers; but I sat \nstill; in fact I felt glued to my chair, dreading \nthat the \u201csomething\u201d would touch me, and \nhaving the conviction that if it did I should \n\n\n\u2018scream. I turned hot and cold by turns, \n\n\nand would have given much to have been \non the! other side of the curtains. I knew \nI had only to stretch out my hand and draw \nthem aside, but there was in some way an \nindescribable sensation of isolation and loneli- \nness which seemed to place me at an \nimmeasurable distance from the others. This \ncurious feeling was almost mastering my \ndesire to be brave, and I was about to make \na rush into the room, when a hand was \nplaced on my shoulder, pressing me down \nupon my chair from which I had risen. \nStrangely enough this touch, which under \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 227 \n\n\nordinary circumstances would have startled \nme beyond measure, had the effect of soothing \nmy fear and \u2018excitement. I remembered how \none stormy night long ago when watching in an \nagony of fear beside my sleeping brothers and \nsister, a hand was placed on my arm; now \nas then the pressure of the unseen fingers \nacted like magic and I was no longer afraid. \n\nThe fluttering sensation in the air ceased \nand all was still. The hand was lifted and \nnow enquiries came from the sitters who \nbegan to weary of their self-imposed task of \nsinging. \n\n\u201cDo you see anything in there?\u201d \n\n\u201cHave you found something alive?\u201d \n\n\u201cHow long are we to sit like this. Let \nus give it up; it\u2019s not raining now, we can \ngo home.\u201d \n\n\u201cWell,\u201d \u2014 as I came from behind the cur- \ntains, \u201cdid you feel or see anything curious?\u201d \n\n\u201cI saw nothing, but felt a strange vibra- \ntory movement as though a bird was flying \nand once something touched my shoulder.\u201d \n\n, This circumstance was the subject of dis- \n\n\n: 228 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ncussion for the next few days, and on the \noccasion of our next s\u00e9ance, which also \nhappened to be finished earlier than usual, \nI was requested to make another trial with \nthe cabinet, whereupon I took my place as \non the previous occasion. The cabinet, I \nmust explain, was simply a small recess in \none corner of the room, the front hung by \nthick red baize curtains from the ceiling to \nthe floor. During s\u00e9ances the room was \ndimly lighted by one or two gas jets which \nwere generally turned low, but which suffici- \nently illuminated the room to enable anyone \nin it to see and observe all that took place, \nand to read or make notes, but not sufficient \nto penetrate the thickness of the curtains; \nso that I, sitting behind them, was compara- \ntively speaking in absolute darkness, while \nthose on the other side had sufficient light \nfor all ordinary purposes. \n\nIt was not long before the same strange \ndisturbances in the air began as on the \nprevious occasion. I felt my hair blown and \nlifted by \u2018currents of air, and cool breezes \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 229 \n\n\nplayed about my face and hands. Then \nbegan a strange sensation, which I had some- \ntimes felt at s\u00e9ances. Frequently I have \nheard it described by others as of cobwebs \nbeing passed over the face, but to me, who \nwatched it curiously, it seemed that I could \nfeel fine threads being drawn out of the pores \nof my skin. \n\nI experienced none of the fear of the previous \nevening. At first I had a strange eerie feeling \nsomewhat akin to it, but that passed off, \nand I became perfectly calm and indisposed \nto move, or to answer any of the many \nquestions addressed to me by my friends \noutside. At the same time I took a great \ninterest in analysing my own sensations and \nwondered as to what would come of the \nexperiment, for that something was about \nto happen I was certain. \n\n\u201cThere is a man\u2019s face!\u201d I heard a voice \n. exclaim. \n\n\u201cDear me, so there is. Goodness! how \nqueer.\u201d \n\n\u201cCan you see it?\u201d \n\n\n|r \n\n\n230 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cYes, we can all see it. Who can it be\u201d \n\n\u201cWhere is it?\u201d I asked, roused by these \nexclamations. \n\n\u201cThere, between the curtains. A round \nface with dark eyebrows, hair, and moustache. \nThere! he is nodding and laughing. Can't \nyou see him?\u201d \n\nIt was in vain I strained my eyes. I \ncould see nothing. A tiny gleam of light \nthrough the opening of the curtains would \nseem to indicate that something was holding \nthem back, at about the height of a man\u2019s \nhead from the floor, but that was all. \n\n\u201cDear me! I wonder who he is.\u201d \u201dWhat \na nice face he has.\u201d \u201cCan you see his teeth, \nwhen he smiles?\u201d \u201dSee how he nods, when \nwe speak.\u201d \n\nThese and similar ejaculations excited my \ncuriosity, so that I made a move to go \noutside the curtains and have a look at the \nmysterious visitor. When I stood up my \nknees felt strangely weak, and I wondered \nif I were not very well. I put my head \nout at the side of the curtain and looked \n\n\nNEW MANIFESTATIONS. 231 \n\n\nas directed towards the centre opening and \nthere gazing down on me with merry laugh- \ning eyes was the face of Walter! I recog- \nnised him instantly, as he appeared with the \nlight from the gas jet falling full on his face; \njust the same features as I had seen and \nsketched under such very different conditions. \n\n\u201cWalter!\u201d I exclaimed. He nodded and \nsmiled. \n\nI felt weak, I was astonished, and there \n. was a_ sensation of something else which I \ncould not understand, so that I sank power- \nless into my seat again. \n\nThen began a volley of questions to \nWalter, who evidently replied by sufficiently \nexpressive gestures, which however I could \nnot see. But I gathered that Walter was \nhighly delighted with his evening\u2019s work. \n\n\nCHAPTER XVII. \nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. \n\n\n\u201cFrom the misty land, that belongs \nTo the vast unknown.\u201d \nLONGFELLOwW. \n\n\nTHe result of our evening\u2019s work was the \nsubject of eager congratulation among the \nmembers of our circle, who prophesied great \nthings if we only continued to pursue our \nexperiments in the same direction. For my- \nself, I cannot say that I felt anything but the \nnatural curiosity and interest which such a \nphenomenon would excite. I had seen ma- \nterialised spirits at other seances, but to tell \nthe truth I had not been particularly struck \nwith anything I had experienced in that line \nso far. I will not say that I disbelieved in \n\u2018the genuineness of the manifestations, although \n\n\nMedium and materialised spirit photographed together. \nThe medium shielding her eyes from the effect \nof the magnesium light. \n(Copied from a photo June 1890). \n\n\nGoogle \nCc \n\n\naes Ysyi 2 \nb \\ \n, \nmires \nae sae or \u2018 \n\n\n| TILDEN FLUN VATIONS \n& Loi \nbecee oie anemia cams \n\n\nMedium and materialished spirit photographed together, \na few seconds after the foregoing. \nThe spirit covered the medium with drapery which \u2018the \nlight apparently dissolved. \n\n\nTHE NEW YORK ! \nPUBLIC LIBRARY \n\n\nASTOR, LENOX AND \nTILDEN FOUNDATIONS \nA L \n\n\nDigitized by Google \n\n\n\u2014 \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 233 \n\n\non one or two occasions I had great diffi- \nculty in disabusing my mind of the conviction \nthat it was the form of the medium which \nposed as that of the spirit. In fact this phase \nof manifestation did not appeal to me, and \nI felt that in cultivating it I should to some \nextent in some way or other be degrading \nor debasing the power I possessed. It was \na long time before I could see the matter \nin the light in which my friends represented \nit to me. That all manifestations are equally \nvaluable and worthy of cultivation, \u2014 that every \nfact that can be indubitably established is of \nincalculable value in building up a science, \u2014 \nthat this particular phase of phenomena was \nthe one on which many hopes were built for \nthe establishment of the truths which spirit- \nualists claimed, as proving the reality of \nanother state of existence and the existence \nof a link between it and our world; \u2014 many \nsuch arguments were brought to bear on me, \nand though I could not see the immense \nvalue of these manifestations above others, I \nhad no desire to run counter to the wishes \n\n\n234 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof my friends and consented at last with \nreluctance to continue the experiments. \n\nWhen I had previously attended s\u00e9ances \nfor materialisation, whatever my private opinion \nhad been of their origin I kept it to myself: \nbut others of my acquaintance were not so \nreticent nor did they hesitate at times to \nmake remarks, anything but commendatory \nto the spirits or medium, so that it annoyed \nme to think I might probably expose myself \nto the same insults. \n\nHere however an old friend, Mr. A., who \nhad formed one of our first circle, stepped in, \nand to prevent any unpleasantness of that \nkind proposed that we should work on dif- \nferent lines. We would carefully pick out \nthose of our friends who were interested in \ncultivating this class of manifestation, and in- \nvite them to join a bi-weekly meeting, but \nonly on the condition that nothing that pass- \ned should be made public until the expiration \nof a series of twelve s\u00e9ances; that during \nthis time each should bind him or herself \nto attend regularly and punctually, no excuse \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. \\ 235 \n\n\nbeing accepted for non-attendance except that \nof ill-health; and that no strangers were to \nbe admitted under any circumstances. \n\nThese invitations and conditions were sent \nto some fifteen or twenty friends and were \naccepted, I agreeing to do all in my power \nto fulfil my part. I was quite willing to give \nthe matter a six weeks\u2019 trial, thinking that \nby the end of that time we should have seen \nwhether or not there was anything to be \ngained by prosecuting this phase of experi- \nment. I felt that I owed my friends some \nconsideration, as they had followed patiently \nthe various developments which had attended \nour investigations some of which I think must \nhave tired them terribly. In spite of my feeling \nof repugnance to the phenomena which we \nwere about to cultivate I thought that by \ngiving six weeks\u2019 for the purpose of gratifying \nmy friends I was repaying them to some ex- \ntent for the help they had accorded me on \nthe road to spiritual knowledge, which I could \nscarcely have reached had it not been for \ntheir kind co-operation. These then were \n\n\n236 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe motives which actuated me in the new \ndeparture we were about to make. \n\nThe s\u00e9ances began. The cabinet was \na new, lightly constructed one, of about \nthree feet in depth, nearly nine feet long, \nand over six feet high. The length was, \nhowever, divided by two gauze partitions, \nmaking thus three divisions, each about \nthree feet square, open only to the front \nwhich was hung by thick dark curtains. The \nidea of a cabinet of this shape and size was \npartly Mr. A\u2019s, and arose out of considera- \n\n\n_tion for my dislike of coming into immediate \n\n\ncontact with the \u201cmaterialised ghosts\u2019? and \npartly to see whether the gauze would offer \nany impediment to the coming and going of \nthe forms. There were no means of entrance \nnor exit except by the front, neither could \nany person in one compartment get into either \nof the other two without breaking the gauze \npartition, or going out by the curtains and \nentering from the front. The whole arrange- \nment was extremely simple and, so far as | \nam aware, the most satisfactory of any so- \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 237 \n\n\ncalled test cabinets that have been tried, \ngiving the medium perfect freedom while \ninsuring the others from the possibility of \nsupposing that they are the victims of vulgar \ntrickery. \n\nI have very strong and definite opinions \nof all \u201ctests\u2019 and of people who advocate \nthem, but these opinions have been the growth \nof time and bitter experience. At the beginn- \ning of our experiments I had everything to \nlearn and like others had to begin with \nthe A.B C. \n\nNo one had ever presumed to cast a \ndoubt on my integrity. I had always worked \nfrom pure interest in the subject, and watched \neach development with quite as much, if not \nmore, interest than any of my friends. These \nstrange powers which unfolded themselves \none after another delighted as well as mystified \nme, and I criticised myself and tried to analyse \nthem impartially. If I could have developed \nthese strange faculties by myself it would have \ngiven me greater satisfaction as I could, I \nthought, understand the workings and modus \n\n\n238 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\noperandi of evolvement better when not \ndistracted by hearing the conjectures, supposi- \ntions and theories of others: but this I could \nIynot do. Alone I was comparatively powerless. \nI sometimes looked upon my good friends \nas necessary evils, rather than assistants, and \nhad I been able to prosecute my experiments \nalone, I should at this juncture have infinitely \npreferred it, but this being impossible the \ntests proposed were just as much to my taste \nas to theirs. As long as they were applied \nsimply to watch the result I was as eager \nas anyone to suggest fresh schemes in order \nto see how the spirits would act when \nhindrances were placed in their way. \n\nThe room was arranged so as to give \nthe greatest facilities for both sitters and \nspirits. The windows, which were opposite \nthe cabinet, were partially darkened, the \ndaylight being admitted through the upper \nparts which were coloured red or orange, \nand which could be made to admit more or \nless light as required. This was for daylight \ns\u00e9ances. For the evening a clever arrange- \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 239 \n\n\nment of gas lighting was devised. The end \nwalls of the room were covered by a screen \nof red or orange-coloured paper, placed some \ninches from the wall. Behind this screen, a \ngas pipe was placed, running horizontally the \nlength of the wali, and in this pipe were several \njets of gas, which could be regulated by a \ntap outside. This tap was manipulated either \nby the spirits themselves or by one of the \nsitters. The light from several small jets of \ngas being thus dispersed by the tinted paper \nmade a sufficient, as well as a very agreable, \nlight, each part of the room being equally \nilluminated, either with a bright or a dim \nlight as might be required. Within the cabinet, \nhowewer, black darkness reigned, unless the \ncurtains at one or the other of the compart- \nments were raised, when anyone seated within \nit could see distinctly to the opposite end, \nthe gauze partitions offering no obstacle to. \nthe eye, although impenetrable to the body. \nThe room was warmed by an asbestos fire \nwhen necessary, and presented on the whole. \na cheerful comfortable aspect. \n\n\n240 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nHaving completed the number of guests \nwho were to form our circle, each one having \ndeclared him or herself willing to assist as \nfar as able and to accept the conditions laid \ndown, we began our fresh course of study, \nfull of interest and expectation for what might \nresult. Mr. A. was to be general manager. \nMr. F. undertook to keep notes of every \n\u2018circumstance, every detail as it occurred. Mrs. \nB., a pianist, took upon herself to conduct \nthe singing, in which up to the present we \nhad not indulged to any extent. We hada \nsmall organ in. the room, and this lady took \ngreat pains to improve the singing of our \nfriends and make it a pleasure rather than a \ntorment to us. Another gentleman stipulated \nthat we should begin our evening\u2019s experiments \nwith a prayer to God for guidance, and for \ndeliverance from evil powers. \n\nThe expense of all the arrangements in \nour seance room was covered by the members \nof the circle who subscribed to a fund for \nthe purpose. The surplus, after providing for \nthe small current expenses, such as gas and \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 241 \n\n\nrent was devoted to helping the poorer of \nthe sick persons who thronged around us for \nassistance. \n\nNever in my life before had I suspected \nthe want, misery, and sickness which existed \nin the world, nor how little doctors could do \nto alleviate it; how in spite of all efforts made \nby the charitable and kind-hearted benefac- \ntors in our midst such wretchedness could \nexist. I turned absolutely sick sometimes, when \nstanding face to face with the horrors of disease \nand want, which I felt how powerless I was to \nhelp. Many times have I asked myself, when \nvisiting some den of squalor and misery, \n\u201cCan this be God\u2019s world; can these be his \nchildren? Of what use to give medicine to \nthese pale emaciated little ones, who were \nstarving for sunlight and fresh air or for nour- \nishing food, whose limbs refused to carry the \nwasted forms, a consequence of their parents\u2019 \nweakness or culpability, inheriting disease \nfrom them as their only birth-right?\u201d I have \nwondered often, if I had made a world and \npeopled it with such a result, whether I would \n\n16 \n\n\n242 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nnot have done as I used to do with a faulty draw- \ning \u2014 destroy it and begin afresh. It seemed \nto me that there was no mercy in helping these \npoor miserable victims of ignorance and disease, \nto prolong a wretched existence. But Stafford \nthought differently. He was indefatigable in his \nefforts to assist in mitigating the suffering; \nnever wearied in advising, teaching, exhorting, \ndiving at once to the root of the evil, pointing \nout where mistakes had been made, and how to \nremedy them if not too late. \n\nHe never hesitated in pointing out, and \nrebuking in scathing words, diseases caused, \nnot by ignorance, but by deliberate infraction \nof the laws of Nature. His sympathy with \nsuffering was as unbounded as his wish to \nhelp; consequently there was no lack of objects \non which to expend any surplus funds. Medi- \ncines he objected to, on the ground that drugs \nonly set up another disease, in many cases \nas harmful as the one to be cured. His \nmethods of remedy were chiefly, a more \nnatural way of living, simple diet, fresh air, \nphysical exercise, and a knowledge of right \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 243 \n\n\nand wrong to enable the sick person to cure \nhimself. \u201cGive the children food,\u201d he would write \nsometimes, \u201cand let drugs alone.\u201d So that the \nmedicines carried into some of the courts and \nalleys of the slums were more frequently in the \nshape of oat-meal, bread, fruit and similar com- \nestibles, than in unpalatable mixtures from the \nchemists. My clientelle rapidly increased till I \nnever knew what it was to have an hour to \nmyself, in spite of the help I received from Mr. \nand Mrs. F., which was not a little. In fact had \nit not been for them, much of the work would \nnever have been accomplished. \n\nStafford, although not saying much, con- \ntrived to let me understand that he did not \nplace much value on the experiments we \nwere about to make and this disappointed \nme, but I hoped for his co-operation later. \n\nAt the first few s\u00e9ances the sitters in the \nroom declared they saw the curtains of the \ndifferent compartments open and faces look \nout of them; but I saw nothing. One of these \nfaces Mrs. F. recognised as that of Walter, \nand she asked him if he would not come \n\n\n244 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nout and show himself fully to the company. \nHle replied by raps or signals, the manner \nof which I have forgotten, that he would \nvladly do so, but that he had no clothes and \ndid not wish to shock the ladies by appear- \ning in the costume of the garden of Eden. \n\n\u201cWe will lend you some garments\u201d said \na gentleman but Walter declined. \n\nMrs. F. then asked if Walter would like \nher to make him some clothes and, if she \ndid so, would he wear them and leave the \nshelter of the cabinet at our next meeting? \nWhether Walter signified acceptance of the \noffer or not I am not sure, but during the \nnext few days Mrs. F. and I busied ourselves \nin fashioning a garment which we intended \nto place at Walter\u2019s disposal at our next meet- \ning. We chose white muslin as being more \n\u201cspiritual\u201d than any other material; we cut \nand planned, stitched and hemmed, and finally \nviewed our handiwork with great satisfaction. \n\n\nWe had made a sort of dressing-gown with\u2122 \n\n\nvoluminous folds and wide open sleeves, get- \nting our ideas of its suitability from the pic- \n\n\nie \n\n\nA \n\n\nMATERIALISED SPIRITS. 245 \n\n\ntures of the costumes of the saints and angels. \nThis garment we carried to the s\u00e9ance room \nand proudly exhibited it to the rest of th\u00e9 \ncompany, and then placed it within the middle \ncompartment of the cabinet, to be in read- \niness for Walter when he came. When he \n\n4 did come, however, the first intimation of his \npresence was the rolling up of the garment \nwe had made with so much care, and the \nhanding it over to Mrs. F. with the message \nthat it was not suitable nor required. And \n\n| Walter himself stepped boldly out from the \n\n' cabinet into the midst of the circle, dressed \nin garments which, in whitness, softness, and \nfineness put our gift to shame. \n\nWalter was evidently very much elated \nat his success in \u201cmaking a new body for \nhimself\u201d as he termed it, as well as his clev- \nerness in providing the draperies which elicited \nso much admiration. He seemed to make \nhimself rapidly familiar with all the company, \nand their conversation and remarks excited no \nlittle curiosity in me, for during all the time \nI was seated in the darkness of the cabinet, \n\n\n246 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nunable to see a glimpse of what was going \non outside. In spite of my wish to take part \nin the doings on the other side of the curtain, \nI felt strangely inert and listless; not sleepy; \nindeed, my brain seemed more wide awake \nand active than I had ever known it. Thoughts, \nimpressions, chased themselves with lightening \nlike rapidity, sounds which I knew to be at \na distance were as though close to my ears; \nI felt conscious of the thoughts, or rather the \nfeelings, of every one in the room, but had \nno inclination to as much as lift a finger \nto enable me to see anything, although at \nthe same time burning with curiosity to catch \na sight of Walter walking about in their midst. \n\nLater on I discovered that this was not \nmerely listlessness or inertia, but that I had \nliterally no strength to exert myself without \nmaking a great effort, which invariably com- \npelled the materialised forms to retire to the \ncabinet as though deprived of the power to \nstand or support themselves, but \u201cAs fact, \nas well as many others, was not to be learned \nwithout pain. \n\n\nCHAPTER XVIII \n\u201c YOLANDE.\u201d \n\n\n\u201cWhat is\u2019t? A Spirit \n\nLord, how it looks about! Believe me sir, \n\nIt carries a brave form: \u2014 but \u2019tis a spirit\u201d \n\u2018THE TEMPEST, scene J/, \n\n\nBrrore the close of the series of s\u00e9ances, \nwe had progressed so far that Walter was \nable, apparently without difficulty, to appear \nin our midst, evidently as solid and material \nin body as one of ourselves. He would \nfrequently describe in writing some other \nspirits who were present though invisible to \nus, unable to perform the work of clothing \nthemselves with material as he had done. \nThis evidently suggested to Walter the idea \nof acting the part of valet to these less clever \nones, and assisting them in the work of \n\n\n248 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmaterialising. After this conclusion on his \npart we saw little of Walter, but scarcely \nan evening passed that two or more strange \nforms did not pay us a visit. Among them \nwas one who appeared to quickly become \nindependent of Walter\u2019s helpful offices. This \nwas \u201cYolande,\u201d a young Arab girl of fifteen \nor sixteen years, according to Walters state- \nments who soon became, as it were, the \nleading feature of our s\u00e9ances; a_ slender \nolive-skinned maiden whose naivet\u00e9 and grace- \nfulness made her the wonder and admiration \nof the circle. \n\nThe first time she made her appearance \namong us, her curiosity and inquisitiveness \nseemed unbounded. Everything she saw \ninterested her deeply, from the dresses of the \ncompany to the furniture of the room. The organ \nwas her special delight, and she was quick in \nimitating the melodies which Mrs. B. played \nfor her, though she was never able to manage \nthe bellows of which, apparently she could not \nunderstand the use. One of the gentlemen, \na detective in the police force, possessed a \n\n\nYOLANDE., 249 \n\n\nsilver cornet on which he was an accomplished \nperformer, and on noticing Yolande\u2019s love \nfor music, he one evening brought it with \nhim, and played for her some of the tunes \nshe liked. He had some arrangement by \nwhich the sound of the otherwise loud notes \nwas softened to a sweet mellowness that was \nnot out of place in the room. \n\nYolande had seated herself on the floor \nto listen to this wonder. When Mr. J. had \nplayed a tune, Yolande begged to have the \ninstrument which she examined with great \ncare. Every part of it was inspected minutely, \nand when this was done she tried to play \nupon it. She failed, however, in producing \na sound, although she tried both ends, and \nat last gave up the attempt in evident dis- \nappointment. \n\nSomeone had given her some small silver \nbells, which pleased her mightily. They were \nstrung on a tape, and she frequently put \nthem round her ankles or her wrists, and \nwhen Mr. J. played on his cornet Yolande \nkept time to the tune by movements of her \n\n\n250 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ngraceful feet or arms, producing an admirable \naccompaniment with the sound of the tink- \nling bells. This performance seemed to her \na great delight, and it became a matter of \nwonder how she could, by her clever move- \nments, alter the sound of the bells to suit \nthe melody that was being played. Some- \ntimes they would ring out in a slow soft \nsleepy manner like trickling water-drops heard \nin the distance, then quick and clear like \nthe rippling notes of a song-bird; and again \nlike castanets played by a proficient hand, \nher body and arms waving gracefully the \nwhile, as she sat on the floor or stood in \nthe centre of the circle. \n\nFor most of the descriptions of Yolande\u2019s \nmany charms I am indebted to the members \nof the circle, and to minutes from the notes \nkept by Mr. F., because, though I was as \nit were, all ears, my necessary . position \nwithin the cabinet deprived me of the use \nof my eyes during the s\u00e9ances. It seemed \nto me that the \u201cspirits\u201d rather avoided me, \nat any rate they never appeared to consider \n\n\nYOLANDE. 251 \n\n\nit necessary to gratify my very natural curios- \nity when anything called for more attention \nor wonder than usual. \n\nOnce I saw Yolande very distinctly, but \nI believe it was more by accident than by \ndesign on her part. She had been amusing \nherself outside for some time, and opened \nthe curtains of the next compartment to \nwhere I sat, with the evident intention of \nentering, but something called her attention \nand she stood holding back both curtains, \nthe light falling full upon her face and form, \nthe gas-lighted room enabling me to make \na careful survey of her figure. Her thin \ndraperies allowed the rich olive tint of her \nneck, shoulders, arms, and ankles to be plainly \nvisible. The long black waving hair hung \nover her shoulders to below her waist and \nwas confined by a small turban-shaped head- \ndress. Her features were small, straight, and \npiquant; the eyes were dark, large, and lively; \nher every movement was as full of grace as \nthose of a young child, or, as it struck me \nthen when I saw her standing half shyly, \n\n\n252 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nhalf boldly, between the curtains, like a young \nroe-deer. \n\nYolande soon became remarkably clever. \nHer fearless activity, childlike curiosity, and \nwonder over every new thing that came under \nher observation, were a source of constant \ninterest to us all. She had a great love for \nbright colors and glittering objects, examining \nwith the utmost attention any trinkets which \nthe ladies wore, sometimes adorning herself \nwith them, and appearing to derive immense \nsatisfaction from the admiring remarks of \nthe circle. A lady once brought a brilliantly \ncolored Persian silk scarf, which Yolande \nregarded with great delight, and immediately \ndraped about her shoulders and waist. This \nscarf she could not be induced to part with. \nWhen she had disappeared and the s\u00e9ance \nclosed a careful search was made, but it was \nnot to be found. The next time she came, \nthe lady asked her what she had done with \nit. Yolande seemed a little non-plussed at \nthe question, but in an instant she made a \n\n. few movements with her hands in the air \n\n\nYOLANDE. 253 \n\n\nand over her shoulders, and the scarf was \nthere, draped as she had arranged it on the \nprevious evening. How it came, where it \ncame from, no one saw. Yolande stood be- \nfore them without it, robed in the soft white \nspirit-garments which scarcely concealed her \ngraceful form; yet, a movement of her slender \nbrown hand, and the bare shoulders were \ncovered with the brightly colored folds of \nthe silken shawl. She never trusted this \nscarf out of her hands. When sometimes \nshe herself gradually dissolved into mist under \nthe scrutiny of twenty pairs of eyes, the \nshawl was left lying on the floor we \nwould say, \u201cAt last she has forgotten it\u201d; \nbut no, the shawl would itself gradually vanish \nin the same manner as its wearer and no \nsearch which we might afterwards make ever \ndiscovered its whereabouts. Yet Yolande as- \nj sured us gleefully that we failed to see it \nonly because we were blind, for the shawl \nnever left the room. This seemed to amuse \nher, and she was never tired of mystifying \n_ us by making things invisible to our eyes or \n\n\n2354 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nby introducing into the-room flowers which \nhad not been brought by human hands. \n\nOne of the members of the circle giving \nan account at the time of this wonderful \ncreature, describes her strange appearances \nand disappearances in the following words: \u2014 \n\n\u201cFirst a filmy, cloudy, patch of'something \nwhite is observed on the -floor, in front of \nthe cabinet. It then gradually expands, vis- \nibly extending itself as if it were an animated \npatch of muslin, lying fold upon fold, on the \nfloor, until extending about two and a half \nby three feet and having a depth of a few \ninches \u2014 perhaps six or more. Presently \nit begins to rise slowly in or near the centre, \nas if a human head were underneath it, while \nthe cloudy film on the floor begins to look \nmore like muslin falling into folds about the \nportion so mysteriously rising. By the time \nit has attained two or more feet, it looks as \nif a child were under it and moving its arms \nabout in all directions as if manipulating \nsomething underneath. \n\n\u201cIt continues rising, oftentimes sinking \n\n\nYOLANDE. 256 \n\n\nsomewhat to rise again higher than before, \nuntil it attains a height of about five feet, \nwhen \u2018its form can be seen as if arranging \nthe folds of drapery about its figure. \n\n\u201cPresently the arms rise considerably above \nthe head and open outwards through a mass. \nof cloud like spirit drapery, and Yolande \nstands before us unveiled, graceful and beau- \ntiful, nearly five feet in height, having a tur- \nban-like head-dress, from beneath which her \nlong black hair hangs over her shoulders. \nand down her back. \n\n\u201cHer body dress, of Eastern form, dis- \nplays every limb and contour of the body, \nwhile the superflous white veil-like drapery \nis wrapped round her for convenience, or \nthrown \u2018down on the carpet out of the way \ntill required again. \n\n\u201cAll this occupies from ten to fifteen \nminutes to accomplish. \n\n\u201cWhen she disappears or dematerialises. \nit is as follows: \u2014 \u201cStepping forward to show \nherself and be identified by any strangers \nthen present, she slowly and deliberately \n\n\n236 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nopens out the veil-like superfluous drapery: ex- \npanding it she places it over her head, and \nspreads it around her like a great bridal veil, \nand then immediately but slowly sinks down, \nbecoming less bulky as she collapses, demat- \nerialising her body beneath the cloud-like \ndrapery until it has little or no resemblance \nto Yolande. Then she further collapses until \nshe has no resemblance to a human form, \nand more rapidly sinks down to fifteen or \ntwelve inches. Then suddenly the form falls \ninto a heaped patch of drapery \u2014 literally \nYolande\u2019s left-off clothing which slowly but \nvisibly melts into nothingness. \n\n\u201cThe dematerialising of Yolande\u2019s body \noccupies from two to five minutes, while the \ndisappearance of the drapery occupies from \na half to two minutes. On one occasion, \nhowever, she did not dematerialise this dra- \npery or veil, but left the whole lying on the \ncarpet in a heap, until another spirit came \nout of the cabinet to look at it for a mo- \nment, as if moralising on poor Yolande\u2019s dis- \nappearance. This taller spirit also disappeared \n\n\nYOLANDE. 257 \n\n\nand was replaced by the little brisk vivacious \nchild form of Ninia, the Spanish girl, who \nlikewise came to look at Yolande\u2019s remains; \nand curiously picking up the left off gar- \nments, proceeded to wrap them round her \nown little body, which was already well cloth- \ned with drapery.\u201d \n\nOnce Yolande stepped out of the cabinet \nand came just by me, having her veil over \nher head, and playfully peeping towards \nanother part of the cabinet in evident ex- \npectation of somebody coming. Presently \nthe curtains opened and another taller form \ncame forward into full view of us all. It \nwas amusing to see Yolande\u2019s impatience at \nthe delay in emerging from the cabinet, which \nshe expressed by stamping her bare feet on \nthe \u2018floor. \n\nAnother of these mysterious visitants was \none whose name we were told was Y-Ay-Ali, \n_one of the most perfectly beautiful creatures \nthe mind can conceive, her tall stately form \n\nand dazzling fairness, majestic bearing and \ngraceful movements, being a distinct contrast \n17 \n\n\n= \n\n\n238 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto Yolande\u2019s kitten-like gestures. Y-Ay-Ali \nwas indeed a creature from a higher world. \nShe came only once or twice visibly, though \nwe were told frequently that she was present; \nbut no one who ever saw her is likely to \nforget her. \n\nShe was evidently one in authority, a \nteacher for whom Yolande exhibited a loving \nrespect and veneration. We were told that \nit was she who, though unseen by us, assisted \nin the production of the magnificent flowers \nwhich were so mysteriously brought into our \nmidst. . \n\n\nCHAPTER XIX. \nTHE IXORA CROCATA. \n\n\n\u201cThen said the Lord, Thou hast had pity on the \ngourd, for the which thou hast not labored, neither mad- \nest it grow; which came up in a night and perished in \na night.\u201d Jona Ch. 4. v. .10. \n\n\nOn one occasion I received a letter from a \nwell-known gentleman in Manchester, Mr. W. \nOxley, as well as from two equally well-known \npersons in Germany, asking permission to be \npresent at one of our s\u00e9ances. [I laid their \nrequests before the rest of our members and \nasked them to decide, with the result that \nall three strangers were present at the next \nfollowing s\u00e9ance. This s\u00e9ance turned out to \nbe one of extraordinary interest, if indeed \none may say that any one of these strange \nthings is more extraordinary than the other; \nbut the circumstance has been published so \n\n\n260 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\noften in different countries that at least some \npeople have thought it specially worthy of \nmention. \n\nMr. Oxley told us he had come with a \nspecial object in view, but of which he would \nnot speak unless he gained it; also that the \nspirits, through another medium, had told \nhim he would succeed in his object, if he \ncould obtain admission to our private circle. \nWe naturally wondered what his object was, \nand there was some little fear expressed that \nwe, by allowing the other two strangers to \nbe present, might cause the purpose to be \nfrustrated. Just then, too, a slip on descend- \n\u2018ing the stairs had caused me to hurt my \narm, putting the elbow out of joint, an acci- \ndent which was not likely to increase our \nprobabilities of success; so that I went to \nthe s\u00e9ance-room that evening feeling very \nmuch inclined to propose putting off the ex- \nperiment; but on arriving and learning that \nour visitors\u2019 time was extremely limited I \ndecided to try. \n\nWe took our accustomed places. Mrs. B. \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 261 \n\n\nplayed a solo on the organ and silence reign- \ned, when the curtains of the middle compart- \nment of the cabinet were drawn aside and \nYolande stepped out into the room. She \nglanced inquisitively at the strangers who re- \nturned her gaze with interest, evidently ad- \nmiring the lithe graceful form and the dark \neyes of our little Arabian. \n\nOne of the circle discrib\u00e9s what followed \nand I repeat it here for the same reason as \nI have mentioned elsewhere, that I was not \nan eye- but a an ear-witness: \u2014 \n\n\u201cYolande crossed the room to where Mr. \n\n\u201d Reimers sat, a gentleman well known through- \nout Europe as a prominent spiritualist, and \nbeckoned him to go nearer the cabinet and \nwitness some preparations she was about to \nmake. Here it is as well to say that on \nprevious occasions when Yolande had produ- \nced flowers for us, she had given us to un- \nderstand that sand and water were necessary \nfor the purpose, consequently a supply of \nfine clean white sand and plenty of water \nwere kept in readiness for possible contin- \n\n\n262 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ngences. When Yolande, accompanied by Mr. \nReimers, came to the centre of the circle, \nshe signified her wish for sand and water, \nand making Mr. R. kneel down on the floor \nbeside her, she directed him to pour sand \ninto the water-carafe, which he did until it \nwas about half full) Then he was instructed \nto pour in water. This was done, and then \nby her direction he shook it well and handed \nit back to her. \n\n\u201cYolande, after scrutinizing it carefully, \nplaced it on the floor, covering it lightly \nwith the drapery which she took from her \nshoulders. She then retired to the cabinet, \nfrom which she returned once or twice at \nshort intervals as though to see how it was \ngetting on. \n\n\u201cIn the meantime Mr. Armstrong had \ncarried away the superfluous water and sand, \nleaving the carafe standing on the middle of \nthe floor covered by the thin veil, which how- \never did not in the least conceal its shape, \nthe ring or top edge being especially visible. \n\n\u201cWe were directed by raps on the floor \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 263 \n\n\nto sing, in order to harmonise our thoughts, \nand to take off the edge as it were of the \ncuriosity we were all more or less feeling. \n\n\u201cWhile we were singing we observed the \ndrapery to be rising from the rim of the \ncarafe. This was perfectly patent to every \none of the twenty witnesses watching it closely. \n\n\u201cYolande came out again from the cabinet \nand regarded it anxiously. She appeared to \nexamine it carefully, and partially supported \nthe drapery as though afraid of its crushing \nsome tender object underneath. Finally she \nraised it altogether, exposing to our astonish- \n| ed gaze\u2019 a perfect plant, of what appeared . \nto be a kind of laurel. \n\n\u201cYolande raised the carafe, in which the \nplant seemed to have firmly grown; its roots \nvisible through the glass, being closely packed \nin the sand. \n\n\u201cShe regarded it with evident pride and \npleasure and, carrying it in both her hands, \ncrossed the room and presented it to Mr. \nOxley, one of the strangers who were present, \nthe Mr. Oxley who is so well known by his \n\n\n4 Vhanratid\u2014Levlor ry \u2014 C+, a i \n264 SHADOW LAND. | \n\n\nphilosophical writings on spiritual subjects, and \nthe pyramids of Egypt. \n\n\u201cHe received the carafe with the plant, \nand Yolande retired as though she had com- \npleted her task. After examining the plant \nMr Oxley, for convenience sake, placed it on \nthe floor beside him, there being no table \nnear at hand. Many questions were asked \nand curiosity ran high. The plant resembled \na large-leafed laurel with dark glossy leaves, \nbut without any blossom. No one present \nrecognized the plant or could assign it to \nany known species. \n\n\u201cWe were called to order by raps, and \nwere told not to discuss the matter but to \nsing something and then be quiet. We obeyed \nthe command, and after singing, more raps \ntold us to examine the plant anew, which we \nwere only too delighted to do. To our great \nsurprise we then observed that a large circular \nhead of bloom, forming a flower fully five \ninches in diameter, had. opened itself, while \nstanding on the floor at Mr Oxley\u2019s feet. \n\n\u201cThe flower was of a beautiful orange \n\n\n22 \n\n\n6 r \nthawed ween OEE \n\n\nee \n\n\nIxora Crocata produced for Mr. William Oxley of \nManchester at a s\u00e9ance held 4 August 1880. \n(From a photograph). \n\n\nGoogle \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 265 \n\n\npink color, or perhaps I might say that salmon \ncolor would be a nearer description, for I \nhave never seen the same tints and it is difficult. \nto describe shades of color in words. \n\n\u201cThe head was composed of some hundred \nand fifty of four-star corollas projecting con- \nsiderably from the stem. The plant was twenty \ntwo inches in height, having a thick woody \nstem which filled the neck of the water carafe. \nIt had twenty nine leaves, averaging from two \nto two and a half inches in breadth to seven and \na half inches at its greatest length. Each leaf \nwas smooth and glossy, resembling at the first \nglance the laurel which we had at first supposed \nit to be. The fibrous roots appeared to be \ngrowing naturally in the sand. \n\n\u201cWe afterwards photographed the plant in \nthe water-bottle, from which by the way it was \nfound imposible to remove it, the neck being \nmuch too small to allow the roots to pass; indeed \nthe comparatively slender stem entirely filled \nthe orifice. \n\n\u201cThe name we learned was \u2018Ixora Crocata\u2019 \n\n\u2018and the. plant a native of India. \n\n\n266 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nHow did the plant come there? Did it \ngrow in the bottle? Had it been brought \nfrom India in a dematerialised state and re- \nmaterialised in the s\u00e9ance-room? \n\nThese were questions which we put to \none another without result. We got no satis- \nfactory explanation. Yolande either could not \nor would not tell us. As far as we could \njudge, \u2014 and the opinion of a professional \ngardener corroborated our own, \u2014 the plant \nhad evidently some years of growth. \n\n\u201cWe could see where other leaves had \ngrown and fallen off, and wound-marks which \nseemed to have healed and grown over long \nago. But there was every evidence to show. \nthat the plant had grown in the sand in the \nbottle as the roots were naturally wound \naround the inner surface of the glass, all the \nfibres perfect and unbroken as though they \nhad germinated on the spot and had appar- \nently never been disturbed. It had not been \n\n| thrust into the bottle for the simple reason \n, that it was impossible to pass the large \nfibrous roots and lower part of the stem \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 267 \n\n\nthrough the neck of the bottle, which had to \nbe broken in order to take out the plant.\u201d \n\nMr Oxley in his account which was after- \nwards published says \u201cI had the plant photo- \ngraphed next morning and afterwards brought \nit home and placed it in my conservatory \n\n\nunder the gardener\u2019s care. It lived for three. \n\n\nmonths, when it shrivelled up. I kept the \nleaves, giving most of them away except the \nflower and the three top-leaves which the \ngardener cut off when he took charge of the \nplant and these I have yet preserved under \nglass, but they show no signs of dematerialis- \ning as yet. Previous to the creation or \nmaterialisation of this wonderful plant, the \n\u2018Ixora Crocata, Yolande brought me a rose \nwith a short stem not more than an inch \nlong which I put into my bosom. Feeling \nsomething was transpiring, I drew it out and \nfound there were two roses. I then replaced \nthem, and withdrawing them at the conclu- \nsion of the meeting, to my astonishment the \nstem had elongated to seven inches with three \n. full blown roses and a bud upon it with \n\n\n4 \n\n\n268 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nseveral thorns. These I brought home and \nkept till they faded, the leaves dropped off \nand the stem dried up, a proof of their \nmateriality and actuality.\u201d \n\nThis was only one of Yolande\u2019s clever \nfeats, but will serve to show how intensely \ninteresting the manifestations were which \nattended our experiments. \n\nMr Oxley after the conclusion of the \nseance explained to us that he had been prom- \nised a specimen of this particular plant to \ncomplete a collection and that the object of his \nvisit to us had been to obtain it. \n\nAnother favorite feat of Yolande\u2019s was to \nput a glass of water into the hand of one \nof her particular friends and tell him to watch \nit. She would then hold her slender taper \nfingers over the glass and while his eyes were \n_closely scrutinising the water within it a flower \nwould form itself upon it and fill the glass. \nThis upon inspection would generally be found \nto be a splendid specimen of some lovely rose \nwith sometimes several blossoms on a stem. \n\nYolande\u2019s delight was equal to that of \n\n\nFerns produced at a s\u00e9ance 12 April 1880. \n\n\nThe small piece to the left was handed as a pattern to the spirit, \nand the two fronds to the right were produced \nat the sitter\u2019s request. \n\n\n(See following copy photo). \n\n\n= : \n(,oog!e \n\u2018 \n\n\nFerns produced at a s\u00e9ance 12 April 1880. \n\n\nAfter two ferns had been produced at the sitters request, \nthe above were also handed to him by the spirit. \n\n\n(See previous copy photo). \n\n\n270 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nfalling over the pretty shoulders and swaying \nform. When, after saluting her friends, Yolande \nwould lift the pitcher from her shoulder it \nwould be found to -be filled to the brim \nwith dozens or scores of the most perfect \nroses, which she would generously distribute \nto the assembled company, generally offering \nthem the pitcher and letting them help them- \nselves. Sometimes flowers of a particular \n_color would be asked for and always obtained. \nOnce someone remarked to me. \u201cWhy \n\nt dont you ask for something?\u201d I had really \nnever thought of asking for anything myself, \nalways being sufficiently interested in observing \nthe actions of Yolande whenever I did by \nchance get an opportunity of seeing what \nwas going on. But on hearing this query - \nYolande looked at me enquiringly and I asked \n_her to give mea rose, \u2014 a black rose. That \nwill puzzle her, I thought to myself, as I\u201d \nthen hardly imagined such a flower existed. \nInstantly Yolande dipped her fingers into the \npitcher and brought out a dark object, drip- \nping with moisture, and handed it to me \n\n\n\u2014 \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 271 \n\n\ntriumphantly. It was a rose of a distinctly \nblue black color, the like of which neither I \nnor any of those assembled had seen. It \nwas a magnificent specimen, though valuable \nfor its uniqueness rather than its beauty, at \nleast to my taste. \n\nThis little attention on the part of Yolande \nwas also worthy of remark, for she very \nseldom favored me with any notice, seeming \nrather to ignore me, or to accept my presence \nin the cabinet as a necessary evil. \n\nThere seemed to exist a strange link be- \ntween us. I could do nothing to ensure her \nappearance amongst us. She came and went, \nso far as I am aware, entirely independent \nof my will, but when she had come, she was, \nI found, dependent on me for her brief \nmaterial existence. I seemed to lose, not \nmy individuality, but my strength and power \nof exertion, and though I did not then know \nit, a great portion of my material substance. \nI felt that in some way I was changed, but \nthe effort to think logically in some mysteri- \nous way affected Yolande, and made her \n\n\n272 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nweak. The stronger and livelier she became \nthe less inclination I had to think or reason, \nbut the power of feeling became intensified \nto a painful extent; I do not mean in the \nphysical sense, but the mental, my brain \napparently becoming a sort of whispering \ngallery where the thoughts of other persons \nresolved themselves into an embodied form \nand resounded as though actual substantial \nobjects. Was any one suffering, I felt the \npain. Was any one worried or depressed, \nI felt it instantly. Joy or sorrow made them- \nselves in some way: perceptible to me. I \ncould not tell \u00abwo among the friends assem- \nbled was suffering, only that the pain existed \nand was in some way reproduced in myself. \n\nIf anyone left his or her seat, thus break- \ning the chain, this fact was communicated \nto me in a mysterious but unmistakable \nmanner. \n\nSometimes Yolande\u2019s peregrinations caused \nme a vague anxiety. She evidently enjoyed \nher brief stay in our midst and was so bold, \nin spite of her apparent timidity, that I was \n\n\nPlants produced at a s\u00e9ance 8 March 1890. \n(From a photograph). \n\n\nPlants produced at a s\u00e9ance 8 March 1890. \n(From a photograph.) \n\n\noo \n\n\nOO% \n\n\n31s \n\n\nThe strawberry plant with fruit and flowers produced at a s\u00e9ance. \nThe ripe fruit was partaken of by the sitters. \n\n\nTHE IXORA CROCATA. 273 \n\n\noften tormented by fears of what she might \ndo and had a weird sort of feeling that any \naccident or imprudence on her part would - \nfall back on myself, though in what way I \nhad no clear idea. I had that to learn later. \n\ny, Tf at any time my feeling of anxiety \nreally took the shape of a thought, I dis- \ncovered that it caused Yolande to return to \nthe cabinet reluctantly always, and sometimes \nwith a childish petulence, which showed that \nmy thought exercised a compelling power \nover her actions, and _ that she only came \nback to me because she could not help \nherself. \n\n\nCHAPTER XX. \n_NUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. \n\n\n\u201cOne of these men is genius to the other \nAnd so of these, which is the natural man \nAnd which the spirit? Who deciphers them?\u201d \n\n\nCOMEDY OF ERRORS, scene J. \n\n\nIr must not be supposed that our spirit visit- \nants were confined to Walter, Yolande, Ninia, \nand Y-Ay-Ali. Never a meeting passed but \nwe were brought face to face with some \nstrange visitor. Sometimes they passed again \ninto the darkness of the unknown, and came \nto us no more. Others came, were recognized, \nand remained awhile with us \u2014 disappearing \nonly to come again when next we met. \nHow many times have I thanked God \n\u2018for this wonderful gift which enabled me to \nbring such comfort to aching hearts! And, \nbitterly as I have suffered from cruel perse- \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 275 \n\n\ncutions at the hands of ignorant and unbeliev- \ning men, I thank God still. \n\nOne evening we were startled by the \nsudden appearance of a young sailor clad \nin his blue uniform, gold band and buttons, \nhis cap with its peak and badge on his head. \nI saw him as the light fell on him when \nhe parted the curtains and went out from \nthe cabinet. His appearance surprised me \nbecause it was so like that of an ordinary \nperson that I could not think it was a spirit. \nI had not had time to gather my thoughts, \nhowever, when I heard cries and exclamations \nof joy, which had the effect of breaking off \nthe prayer our good Mr. H. was offering up. I \nsaw nothing, I could only listen, but they told \nme afterwards that the scene which followed \nthe sailor boy\u2019s entrance in the circle was \nvery affecting. He had walked towards \na lady seated farthest away from him, and \nshe, recognizing her lost son, started forward, \nmeeting him half way. He flung his arms \nasen her in a passionate embrace, and \n\u2018they stood locked in each other\u2019s arms. Not \n\n\n~\u2014 \n\n\n276 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmany amongst us but shed tears of sympathy \nfor the mother and son so strangely brought \ntogether! \n\n\u201cIt is my son, my Alfred,\u201d said the lady; \n\u201cmy only child, whom I never thought to \nmeet again. He is not altered, he is no \ntaller, no stouter, no different in any way. \nThe little moustache he was so proud of is \njust as it was when I bade him goodbye \nfor the last time, when he left for the voyage \nfrom which he never returned. He is just \nmy boy and no-one else. Nothing in the \nworld can alter that great fact or take that \ncomfort away from me, that my boy still \nlives and loves me as he always did.\u201d \n\nAmong the many sick persons who solic- \nited the aid of our spirit friends was Mr. \nHugh Biltcliffe of Gateshead, a personal friend \nof Mr. and Mrs. F. Unfortunately we heard \nof his illness too late to do more than render \nhis last hours more free from pain, and to \nthe grief of a large number of friends he \npassed on to the land ahead, a few days after \nthe first intimation of his illness reached us. His \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 277 \n\n\nwidow and children were inconsolable. He \nhad been a spiritualist but had never taken \nany active part in the propagation of his \nbeliefs, although he was greatly interested \nin all educational movements, the temperance \ncause in particular being his special work. \nHis wife, though sharing his views, had not \ninterested herself much in the experiments \nin which we were engaged, and in fact after \nher husband\u2019s death I seldom saw her. I \nhad not known either of them till just before \nhis passing away, when he was greatly ema- \nciated and altered in appearance, so that I \nnever saw him in his ordinary aspect. \n\nMrs Biltcliffe some months after the death \nof her husband came to one of our evening \nmeetings in company with Mr. and Mrs. F. \nand what followed I will give in the words \nof Mr. F. who afterwards published a state- \nment signed by Mrs. Biltcliffe, and two other \nladies who were also present at the time. \nHe writes: \u2014 \n\nYj \u201cMr. Hugh Biltcliffe, an esteemed friend \nof mine, died about twelve months ago. He \n\n\n278 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwas a man well known in Gateshead, took \nan active part in the temperance cause, and \nwas for some years superintendent of a Sunday- \nschool. Both he and his wife, Mrs. Isabella \nBiltcliffe, were spiritualists, but she had never \nattended such a s\u00e9ance as I am about to \ndiscribe. \n\n\u201cWhen the s\u00e9ance was, as we thought, \nabout to be closed there appeared at the \nopening of the curtains a fine tall well-built \nman with dark whiskers and dark hair, and \nclothed in long white robes. Altogether he \nhad a majestic and noble appearance. \n\n\n\u201cIn an instant I recognised in him my \nfriend, Mr. Biltcliffe. \n\n\n\u201cWhat is most remarkable is the fact \nthat not only did I recognise him, but his \nwife, my wife, and another lady present, all \nknew him immediately he appeared. Besides \nthese there were two gentlemen, sitting further \naway, who mentioned my friend\u2019s name, and \nasked if they were correct in their surmise \nas to the identity of the form. \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 279 \n\n\n\u201cThus four persons recognised him with- \n. out a doubt in their minds, whilst the other \ntwo, evidently knowing him, somewhat doubted \nthe evidence of their senses. \n\n\u201cHe came near me and reached forward \nto shake hands. His hand, which was some- \nwhat larger than mine, was warm, soft, and \nnatural. His grasp was firm and vigorous, \nas was his wont during his earthly life; and \n{ accepted his fervent shake as an expression \nof thanks for little services I had rendered \nhim during his illness. \n\n\u201cAt a meeting ten days later Mrs. Bilt- \ncliffe came with her two little daughters, \nAgnes aged thirteen, and Sarah between \nseven and eight years af age. \n\n\u201cAgain my friend came and showed him- \nself to us, proving that, though we had laid \nhim in the grave, he was still as much alive \nas we were and anxious to testify to the fact \nthat there is no death. \n\n\u201cThe moment he appeared before us his \nlittle daughter Sarah, a bright, intelligent \nchild, ran to him, when he took her in his \n\n\n280 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n| arms and kissed her. She clung to him as \n\n\u2018though she would never be parted from him \nagain, and she had to be taken away by her \nelder sister who also embraced and kissed \nher father. Many, many questions they have \nasked such as: \u2014 \u2018Where did he get all the \nwhite clothes that he had\u201d \u2018What did he \ndo with them when he went away?\u201d \u2018How \ndid he get into the room? \u2018Did I know \nhim? Yes I knew him. Do you think I \ndid not know my father\u201d? \u2018How queer it is. \nHe is dead you know, and he is alive. How \nis that?\u2019 \n\n\u201cThese and a few hundred other queries \nand remarks puzzle wiser heads than theirs, \nbut the wisest would not be able to persuade \nher that she had not positively seen and \nembraced her father who had been dead to \nher more than a year.\u201d \n\nI will mention another instance of a sim- \nilar nature, which interested me because I \nwas personally acquainted with all the persons \nconcerned. An elderly gentleman of my ac- \nquaintance had been a spiritualist for many \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 28r \n\n\nyears. His wife, who was not in the least \nin sympathy with his views of life, died about \nthis time. I had not the same friendly feel- \ning for her as for him, because when I had \noccasionally visited their home, her sharp \nspeeches somewhat grated on me, and I felt \nsorry for the poor man, who I feared had \nto prosecute his studies under disadvantages. \nto which I was a stranger. \n\nHowever, she died, and it surprised me \na little to find how much her loss affected \nmy old friend. A few days after the funeral \nhe came to the s\u00e9ance room, not with any \nintention of staying for the s\u00e9ance, but once \nthere he stopped. I had felt very sorry for \nhis grief and was glad he remained believing it. \nwould give him something else to think about \nthan his present trouble. I do not remember \nexactly what took place at the beginning of \nthe s\u00e9ance, but. I distinctly recollect the cur- \ntains being thrown open with a jerk, letting \nthe light fall full on the figure of Mrs. Miller. \nUsed as I was by this time to all sorts of \nunbelievable things I fairly gasped with as- \n\n\n282 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ntonishment. There could be no mistake. Her \nevery feature, her every gesture, was her own. \nShe was instantly recognised by several who \nknew her. Her husband almost overcome \nwith emotion would have embraced her but \nshe turned from him asking sharply: \u2014 \n\n\n\u201cWhat have you done with my ring?\u201d \n\n\nA thunder clap could not have startled us \nmore. \n\n\n\u201cMy dear,\u201d replied the poor man, \u201cI have \nnot done anything with your ring; is it not \non your finger?\u2019 And he fairly broke into \nsobs, and Mrs. M. went back into the \ncabinet from whence she had emerged. I \n\n| positively felt as though I should have enjoyed \n. Shaking her. \n\nMr. M. seemed much distressed at her \nevident displeasure. He told us his wife had \nsaid before her death, that two rings, which \nshe always wore, were not to be removed if \nshe died, and he promised her that her wishes \nshould be obeyed; further than this he knew \nnothing, nor did he understand her remark \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 283 \n\n\nin the least. I faney he did not feel the \nunkindness of her treatment either, but I am \nsure we most of us felt more or Jess indigna- \ntion at the loving sorrowing heart being \nignored and slighted for the sake of a ring, \nno matter how much it was valued. \n\nj Later, Mr. M. told us that on return- \ning home he had questioned his daughter as \nto the rings, and had learned that she, not \nknowing of her mother\u2019s request, had removed \nthem just prior to the funeral, thinking that \nher father would be pleased to have them \nafterwards. This, then, explained the sharp \nenquiry with which she met her husband. \nShe came again several times and exchanged \ngreetings with her friends, but I think she \neres conquered \u2018her prejudice to spiritualism, \n\nand only made use of our meetings when \n\nshe had some object to attain. In spite of \nherself, however, the mere fact of her ap- \npearance was a sufficient testimony in favor of \nthe subject she despised; for all who knew \nher, and they were not few, received convin- \ncing proofs that Mrs. M. at any rate was \n\n\n284 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nvery much alive, and had not altered either \n-in appearance or character. \n\nIn the study of these manifestations one\u2019s \northodox ideas of the inhabitants of the heav- \nenly spheres receive some severe shocks. So far \nas I could judge, none of our spirit visitors \nanswered to my preconceived idea of angelic \nbeings, with the exception perhaps of Y-Ay- \nAli. They seemed as human as ever they \nhad been in life; and another occurrence in \nwhich a long conversation took place between \na visitor to the rooms and a spirit, gave me \nfood for thought for a very long while. \n\nIt was at the usual bi-weekly meeting. \nTwo strangers, friends of one of the members, \nhad been by general consent invited to take \npart in the s\u00e9ance, when a spirit appeared to \nme, a tall man, rather well made, with black \nhair, black moustache and beard, and a fore- \nhead rather high and broad. As he was \napparently unknown to us, we enquired whether \nthere was anyone for whom he came, and \nthe figure gave us to understand that he \nknew one of the strange gentlemen who was \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 285 \n\n\npresent. This gentleman at the time objected \nto having his name made public, and I will \ntherefore in recording the conversation des- \nignate him by the letter B. \n\nMr. B.: \u201cWho is it? Is it Phillips?\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cNo.\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cIs it Lynch?\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cYes, Emmanuel Lynch.\u201d \n\nMr. B.. \u201cI never thought about Emmanuel. \nIt was Frank I thought about; he died \nat sea.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cNo, I didn\u2019t die at sea; I died \nof consumption.\u201d \n\nMr. B.- \u201cYes that\u2019s right; I meant Frank \ndied at sea, but Emmanuel died at Hartlepool.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cYes at Old Hartlepool. Do\u2019 you \nknow whether my father and mother are \nliving? And is my wife alive? When do you \nsay Frank died? Is Ralph still living? What \nship was I in when you last saw me?\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201c1 dont know which ship it was, \n-but it was about 1867. I cannot answer \npositively your other questions as I have not \nbeen at Hartlepool for some time.\u201d \n\n\n286 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nSpirit: \u201cI would like to see the old folks \nonce more, or know if they have left your \nworld. The old man was bad enough before \nI died, but then it was nothing fresh for him. \nTo think he should have been so strong and \nmother too, and all of us boys to die, \u2014 nine of \nus of consumption.\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cI have heard there were nine \nboys, but Emmanuel and Frank were the only \nones I knew.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cI wonder if Kate, my wife, is \nmarried. again, but that doesn\u2019t matter. Did \nyou know Brough the ship\u2019s husband?\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cNo I didn\u2019t know the  ship\u2019s \nhusband.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cDid you know old Captain Wynn?\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cYes, he is alive. I was talking \nto him today.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cI dont mean that on\u00e9. He lived \nin Poplar in London. He died long before \nme. He is here now,.and wants to send a \nmessage to his wife. He wants to know if \nshe is married again or has forgotten him, \nbecause if she has he won\u2019t bother her.\u201d \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. \u2014 287 \n\n\n\u2018Mr. B.: \u201c1 do not know her address.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cWrite to John Fennick, 44 Coat \nExchange, London, he will give you Mrs. \nWynn\u2019s address. Ask Emily M. if she remem- \nbers Manny Lynch; she wanted to marry me.\u201d \n\nMr. B.: to the circle: \u201cManny Lynch, Yes \nwe used to call him Manny. He got a sculptor \nto carve his bust when he was up in the \nMediterranean.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cYes, Jack Rogers got his done \ntoo, and passed it off for Garibaldi.\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cIs Jack Rogers alive yet?\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cHe left me and went off in the \n\u2018Iron Age\u2019 and she was lost, but whether he \nwas lost too I cannot say,\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cI know the name of the ship. \n\u2018ron Age, but I didn\u2019t know Jack Rogers. \nwent in her. Have you seen Captain W\u2014y | \nlately >\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cNo I heard something about him. \njust at the time I was took bad, but I don\u2019t \nremember what it was. Is he dead?\u201d \n\nMr. B.: \u201cYes.\u201d \n\nSpirit: \u201cHe was a real fine fellow. So is M. \n\n\n288 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nGive my compliments to him and tell him \nI'd be glad of a yarn with him. Give my \nlove to Emily \u2014 I am sorry I could not \naccommodate the two of them. Come here \noften, and we will have a chat about old times \nand fellows.\u201d \n\nI never saw the stranger again, but won- \n\n! dered very much what his ideas of Heaven \n\u2018 were after this conversation. \n\nEmmanuel Lynch was, as far as I could \njudge, as much interested in the things which \nconcerned his earthly life as ever he had been. \nHis friend told us that Emmanuel, or Manny \nLynch, had been an Engineer on board a \nsteamer, and that there was not the shadow \nof a doubt but that the spirit was his very \nself and no other. They were both, the vis- \nitor and the spirit, entire strangers to me and \nindeed to most of our circle, and this conver- \nsation, which might have passed without \nremark among two friends meeting after \nyears of separation, struck us as something \neerie or uncanny. We had imbibed the idea \n\n. that spirits did not need to ask such questions \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 289 \n\n\nas did Emmanuel Lynch, but he seemed like \none who had been on a long voyage and \nwas eager to know what changes had taken \nplace during his absence. \n\nOne evening while sitting quietly in the \ncabinet, listening to the remarks which were \ncirculating outside, I heard some words spoken \nclose to my ear, startling me into an upright \nposition to listen more intently. I heard some- \none close to the cabinet speaking in French, \nand gathered that the words were addressed \nto a spirit form which was standing between \nthe opening of the curtains. I had seen it \ngo out towards the light, but the peculiar \nlassitude which I always felt while these forms \nwere manifesting had prevented me from follow- \ning the movements attentively, so that when \nI heard a strange language spoken to, and \nanswered by, the spirit form, I awakened as \nit were to a sense of something new which \nwas taking place, and the words \u201cMa Petite, \nMa Fille\u201d excited so wild a curiosity within \nme that I felt I must see the speaker. \n\nI obtained permission to leave my seat in \n\n= \n\n\n290 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthe cabinet and on going feebly and with \ndifficulty outside the curtains to where the \nwhite-robed figure stood, I came face to face \nwith \u2014 myself! \u2014 or so it seemed 'to me. \n\nThe figure was a little taller, a little broader, \nthe hair longer, the features, particularly the \neyes, larger; but looking into the face, I \nmight have been regarding my own reflexion \nin a mirror, so great was the resemblance. \n\nShe put her hands on my shoulders, and \nregarding me attentively murmured \u201cMign- \nonne, Ma Petite.\u201d \n\nGlad as I was at seeing face to face a \ndear but hitherto unknown relative, the sen- \nsation of amazed bewilderment prevailed over \nevery other. I could not say that I recog- \nnised her, for my eyes had never knowingly \nrested on her before; still of her identity I \nhad no doubt, though the strange resemblance \nto myself was a revelation. I had never heard \nthat I bore any likeness to her, and I knew \nno one living who had known her, and of \nwhom I might enquire. \n\nShe, whom we got afterwards to know by \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 29I \n\n\nthe title of \u201cthe French Lady,\u201d was one of \n\u201cour very few visitors from the spirit world, \nwho seemed able to converse with us by \nspeech, the greater number making them- \nselves understood by signs or gestures in \nanswer to questions put to them. Although \nshe was, as we all knew, my particular friend, \nand came to us chiefly for my sake, she paid \nless attention to me than to the other mem- \nbers of our circle. Perhaps the peculiar part \nI had to take in the s\u00e9ances prevented her \nfrom shewing her affection, as she found that \nanything specially occupying my mind or \narousing my interest caused a decrease in \nher power while in our midst. However it \nwas, she paid a good deal more attention to \nothers in the circle, particularly to Mr. F, \nwho happened to be the only one there who \ncould converse with her in her native language. \n\nShe became a frequent visitor, seeming to \nfind a pleasure in our society. Curiously \nenough she rapidly took note of one or two \nof our circle who were of the Roman Catholic \nreligion, and became as it were more at \n\n\n292 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nease with them than with the others. On \none occasion one of these Catholic ladies \npresented our \u201cFrench Lady\u201d with a rosary \nwith a small medal attached, which she said, \nif I remember rightly, had been blessed by \nthe pope. The \u201cFrench Lady\u201d took the beads, \nand quickly detaching the medal walked \nacross the room to the fireplace, where a fire \nwas burning and deliberately dropped the \nmedal into it, to the horror of the lady who \nhad presented it. On being questioned as to \nher reason for so doing, she replied coolly \nthat it required purifying. \n\nWhen the medal was afterwards found in \nthe ashes it was bright and clean! The next \ntime she came, it was offered to her and after \ninspecting it closely, she permitted it to be \nattached again to the rosary, which was kept \nfor her use and of which she seemed fond. \n\nFor quite a long while she was a never \nfailing visitor to our s\u00e9ances, her great re- \nsemblance to myself being always a source of \nwonder and comment. Separately, we were \nfrequently mistaken the one for the other. \n\n\nNUMEROUS SPIRIT VISITANTS. 293 \n\n\nWhen standing together, the small differences \nI have spoken of were apparent and _notice- \nable. On one occasion, however, a clergyman \nof the church of England was present. We, \n| the \u201cFrench Lady\u201d and I, were side by \n\u2018side when she held out her hand to him \nto shake hands. He glanced first at the one \nof us, and then at the other, finally became \nbewildered and nervous, when he saw the \ntwo so much alike, that he did not know \nwhich was the spirit and which was I. Instead \nof taking her proffered hand, he grasped that \nof his next neighbour and thrust it forward! \n\n\n\u2019 CHAPTER XXII. \nA BITTER EXPERIENCE. \n\n\n\u201cExperience is a hard schoolmaster.\u201d \nCARLYLE, \n\n\nI wave hesitated a little whether or not to \n\" record the story of the bitter experience which \nI and our circle went through, and which \nhad for its result long years of suffering \nboth mental and physical, to me in particular. \nBut as this is a faithful record of part of my \nwork and experience, I feel that I ought not to \nwithhold it. The most valuable lessons in \nlife are often those which have cost us most \nsuffering, and though I strongly resented the \nundeserved pain I endured at the time, the \nlesson I learned has opened my understanding \nof the mysteries of spirit phenomena, better \nthan a life time of success could have done, \n\n\nA BITTER EXPERIENCE. 295 \n\n\nIn fact the success which attended our experi- \nments had to a great extent blinded me, \nand perhaps all of us, to the delicate nature \nof the conditions required to produce the \nmanifestations. Unconsciously to ourselves, \nor perhaps intuitively, not knowing why, we \nhad adopted many of the means necessary \nto success, and the result seemed to warrant \nthe idea, that we had only to set our energies \nto work in order to obtain anything we \nwanted in the way of phenomena. \n\nFlow these things were produced was a \nmatter we did not profess to understand. \nWe knew that the presence of some persons \nwas favorable, and that of others was not, \nand that extremes of weather were not good. \nA thunderstorm was inimical and a certain \npreventative of good results, but beyond these \nmost elementary rules I do not think we \nhad gained any positive knowledge. We were \nfeeling our way blindly and, the success we \nhad was apparently more owing to a series \nof lucky accidents, than to a scientific know- \nledge of what was required to bring it about. \n\n\n296 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nOur very success was a source of danger \nto us. I have already spoken of the vayue \nsense of uneasiness which Yolande\u2019s actions \ncaused me. Although regarding her as a \nperfectly free and independent agent, account- \nable to no earthly authority, I could never \ndivest myself of a sort of anxiousness about \nher, something akin to what a mother feels \nwhen her child is getting beyond her control \nand she fears it may overstep the line which \nshe conceives should mark the boundary of \nthe proprieties. I dont think my. anxiety \never expressed itself in words; in fact, I did \nnot know of what I was afraid. \n\nMy friend Mrs. F. was about to leave \nEngland, and I had decided to accompany \nher. The series of s\u00e9ances \u2014 not the first \nseries by many \u2014 was drawing to a close, \nand I timed my departure by their completion. \nThe strain of work was beginning to tell on \nme, and I was looking forward to a long \nrest\u2019 with no small degree of pleasure. We \nhad been engaged in packing our belongings, \nhousehold furniture, pictures, china &c., and \n\n\nA BITTER EXPERIENCE. 297 \n\n\nwere feeling tired out with the unusual work, \nwhen, after seeing the last waggon-load safely \non board the vessel that was to carry them \nto our northern home, we went to the house \nof the friend with whom we were to stay \nduring the few days which must elapse be- \nfore we left England. \n\nI. would have given much to retire early \nto bed instead of sitting in a s\u00e9ance, but as \nthey were all expecting me, I had no alter- \nnative but to take my usual place amongst \nmy friends promising myself a rest and doze \nin the cabinet. \n\nThe unusual work and worry attendant \non the completion of all odds and ends, \npaintings, a bazaar for which I had promised \nsundry sketches, paying and receiving visits, \nmy sick patients whom I was loath to leave, \nin addition to the actual removal of our \nhousehold had caused me several sleep- \nless nights, and anxious busy days, so that \nI was not feeling the slightest interest in \nwhat the spirits were doing, beyond the hope \nthat they would not keep me there very \n\n\n298 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nlong that evening, and thinking that when I \ndid get to bed, I would stay there till noon \nnext day. \n\n/ 1 do not know how long the s\u00e9ance had \n\n' proceeded, but I knew that Yolande had \ntaken her pitcher on her shoulder and was \noutside the cabinet. What actually occurred \n'T had to learn afterwards. All I knew was \na horrible excruciating sensation of being \ndoubled up and squeezed together, as I can \nimagine a hollow gutta percha doll would \nfeel, if it had sensation, when violently em- \nbraced by its baby owner. A sense of ter- \nror and agonizing pain came over me, as \nthough I were losing hold of life and was \nfalling into some fearful abyss, yet knowing \nnothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, ex- \ncept the echo of a scream which I heard as \nat a distance. I felt I was sinking down, I \nknew not where. I tried to save myself, to \ngrasp at something, but missed it; and then \ncame a blank from which I awakened with \na shuddering horror and sense of being \nbruised to death. \n\n\nA BITTER EXPERIENCE. 299 \n\n\nMy senses seemed to have been scattered \nto the winds, and only little by little could \nI gather them sufficiently together to under- \nstand in a slight degree what had happened. \nYolande had been seized and the man who \nhad seized her declared it was I. , \n\nThis: was what I was told. The state- \nment was so extraordinary, that if it had not \nbeen for my utter prostration I could have \nlaughed, but I was unable to think or even \nmove. I felt as though very little life re- \nmained in me, and that little was a torment. \nThe hemorrhage of the lungs, which my resi- \ndence in the south of Europe had apparently \ncured, broke out again and the blood almost \nsuffocated me. A_ severe prolonged illness \n\n, was the result; and our departure from Eng- \nland was delayed for some weeks as I could \nnot be moved. \n\nThe shock was a terrible one, and what \nwas worse to me, than the shock itself, was \nmy utter inability to understand it. It never \noccurred to me that any one would dare \naccuse me of imposition. I had, in my own \n\n\n300 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nestimation at least, been a Czsar\u2019s wife. I \nhad worked, together with my friends, at first \nfrom an inherent desire for knowledge, and \nlater from pure love of the cause itself and \na desire to propagate it. \n\nThe action of the man himself, who had \nseized Yolande, gave me less concern than \ndid the revengeful spirit which actuated another \nsometime member of our circle. He was an \nartist of no mean order, and his hints and \nsuggestions relative to my paintings were of \nvalue to me. I wished to repay his instruc- \ntions in current coin of the realm, but this \nhe would not accept, suggesting that between \nsuch kindred spirits money was a question \nthat might not be discussed. He was imbued \nwith some, to me, repulsive ideas on affinity- \nship, which caused me to shun his society, \nand this was I believe the reason for the \nchange of front which he showed towards me, \nand the false reports which he circulated. \n\nHe is gone to the next world now, and \nmay see that in injuring one\u2019s neighbour one \nis lessening one\u2019s own chances of happiness. \n\n\n~\u2014 \n\n\nA BITTER EXPERIENCE. 301 \n\n\nI never saw him again and was sorry when \nshortly afterwards I heard of his death in a \nlunatic asylum, where I learned he had previ- \nously been, at intervals, confined. I had not \nknown of this, but it explained many of the \npeculiar and extraordinary ideas which he \nhad been fond of promulgating, and which \nI had been at a loss to understand. \n\nI did not blame the man so much who \nwas the first cause of the trouble. He pro- \nbably thought nothing of the sacrifices I was \nmaking, nothing of the work we had done, \nnothing of the years of study which had led \nup to our present position. He was an Icono- \nclast and thought he did well in destroying \nthe false gods, as he considered them. \n\nI have thought that he was to be excused \nfor his suspicion when I have remembered \nthe extraordinary likeness between myself and \nthe \u201cFrench Lady\u201d whom he had frequently \nseen; and then Yolande\u2019s proximity and naive \nnaturalness, her utter \u201chumanness\u201d if I may \nuse the word, were too much for him, in his \nignorance. \n\n\nCHAPTER XXII. \nA FRESH BEGINNING. \n\n\n\u201cGod forbid that I should do this thing and flee \naway from them... let us die manfully ... let us not \nstain our honor.\u201d \n\nMaccaBEEs I. Ch. g. v. 10. \n\n\n4 \n\nTue result of this calamity was, in the first \ninstance, an entire break-down in my health; \nin the second, a perfect horror of the name \nof spiritualistic phenomena, which, in deference \nto my wishes, were a tabooed subject of con- \nversation for. some years. However, in the \nclear air and sunshine of Sweden and the \noutdoor-life I led, roaming in the forests, sail- \ning on the lakes, at work in my garden, rid- \ning or driving, it was not long before my \nhealth improved, though it did not become \nentirely re-instated for several years. \n\nWith returning strength I was, able in a \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 303 \n\n\ngreat measure to throw off the depression \nwhich hung over me, and I found myself, \nin spite of my resolution to the contrary, \nwondering over the why and the wherefore \nof the disaster. However, situated as I was \nfor a long time in the midst of a simple \nprimitive God-fearing people, whose faith in \nGod and the teachings of their Bible, had \nnever been shaken, there was happily no need \nfor the exercise of my powers, except as a \nmeans of helping the sick. Then indeed the \npower of the spirit would make itself known \nand valued. In this region of almost prime- \nval forests, where the cottagers live on little \npatches of arable land in the midst of woods, \nwidely separated from neighbours or from \nintercourse with the outer world, the people \nlive\u2019 hard poor lives, growing the rye to make \ntheir bread and a few potatoes which must \nbe cared for like living things, to preserve \nthem from the bitter frosts of the long winter. \nThese things, the rye and potatoes, form \ntheir staple articles of food and they are \nlucky indeed if their patch of ground will \n\n\n304 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nproduce enough to enable them to sell or \nexchange a part for the cotton-or wool to \nweave into clothing for the family, which is \nthe winter occupation, when the earth is hard \nfrozen. Poor, very poor, are they, but con- \ntent withal as long as they have health and \nstrength, but when accident or sickness comes \nthen indeed is their fate sorrowful. \n\nWe had many people to think and care \nfor and a doctor who had to attend them \nwhen sick, but he seemed to set very little \nvalue on the lives of his patients, or at least \non the lives of his foor patients; and if he \nwas sent for during a bad mid-winter day \nhe displayed considerable reluctance in setting \nout on a long cold journey by sledge. And \nif after eliciting all the information possible \nwith respect to the patient, he considered the \ncase was not one of life or death, or was \none where the patient was not of sufficient \nimportance from a social point of view to \ncause him trouble in consequence of being \nneglected, he invariably decided to postpone \nhis visit till a finer day. I do not think \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 305 \n\n\nmany doctors are like the gentleman to whom \nI allude, but so he was; consequently the \npoor people for many miles around came \nto us for help in sickness, as it was known \nthat we kept a supply of the simpler reme- \ndies on hand, which precaution was necessary, \nas we lived several miles from the nearest \ntown. \n\nMy clhient\u00e9le rapidly increased and the \ngood offices of my spirit friends were con- \nstantly in request. The doctor after awhile, \ninvariably supplied the medicines they suggest- \ned. Not that he believed in spirits, but as \nlong as I did not want poisons he cheerfully \naccepted my diagnoses and wrote the pre- \nscriptions I wanted, well pleased to be saved \na tiresome journey. \n\nStrange to say only two deaths occurred \non the estates during our residence there and \nthey were of persons who had been entirely \nunder the doctor's charge. \n\nThis was the only way in which I exer- \ncised my mediumistic gifts for a long time, \ntill the ever recurring changes of life again \n\n\n20 \n\n\n306 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbrought me in contact with persons who were \nmaking a study of spiritualism and its pheno- \nmena. These were mostly such students of \nthe philosophy of spiritualism as had not \nthemselves made any practical experiments. \nSome of these were the friends who had \npreviously helped me with their sympathy, \nand I could not but have a warm feeling of \ngratitude towards those who, in spite of \nslanderous reports, held out a hand of friend- \nship and assured me of their undiminished \nfaith. : \nA series of s\u00e9ances was arranged, having \nfor their object the photographing of the \nmaterialised forms, and in this we were suc- \ncessful. A full report of our experiments \nwas published in the \u201cMedium and Daybreak\u201d \nfor March 28, 1890 and the photographs \nwe obtained were reproduced in the same \nmagazine for the 18th of April of the same \nyear. These photographs were taken by the \naid of magnesium light, and although I was \nmuch interested in the success of the experi- \nments the light acted very injuriously on my \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 307 \n\n\nnerves, which during a s\u00e9ance are sensitive \nto a high degree. \n\nIt was during these experiments that I \nbegan to attribute some peculiar after-effects \nof s\u00e9ances to their rightful cause. From the \nvery beginning of our experiments in this \njline I had always more or less suffered from \n\u2018nausea and vomiting after a s\u00e9ance for ma- \nterialisation, I had grown to accept this as \na natural consequence and not to be avoided. \nThis had always been the case, except when \nsurrounded only by the members of our \nhome circle or children. During the course \nof s\u00e9ances for photography this unpleasant- \nness increased so much that I was usually \nprostrate for a day, or sometimes two, after \na sitting, and, as the symptoms were those \nof nicotine poisoning, experiments were made \nand it was discovered that none of these un- \ncomfortable sensations were felt when s\u00e9ances \n,were held with non-smokers. Again, when \nsick persons were in the circle, I invariably \nfound myself feeling more or less unwell \nafterwards. With persons accustomed to the \n\n\n308 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nuse of alcohol the discomfort was almost as \nmarked as with smokers. \n\nThese s\u00e9ances were to me fruitful in many \nrespects, [ learned that many habits. which \nare common to the generality of mankind \nand sanctioned by custom, are deleterious \nto the results of a s\u00e9ance, or, at any rate to \nthe health of the medium. Possibly I had \nbecome more sensitive to these influences, as \n[ had not noticed the ill effects so strongly \nwhen in England, or it is possible that it \nwas due to one of the lucky accidents that very \nfew of our English circle were smokers. I \ndo not know how it was, but all or nearly \nall of the Swedish circle were smokers, and I \nhad to suffer for it. \n\nAnother result of these s\u00e9ances was one \nso entirely unlooked for that for weeks after- \nwards I frequently caught myself wondering \nif it were not all a bad dream from which \nI should soon awake. \n\nThe s\u00e9ances had not been at first arranged \nwith any intention of carrying them on regu- \nlarly. They originated as follows: \u2014\u2014 \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 309 \n\n\n\u201cOne of my boy friends said to me \u2014 \nAuntie! Tomorrow is my birthday. Are you \ngoing to give me a present?\u201d \n\n\u201cPerhaps. Why?\u201d \n\n\u201cBecause if you are and you have not \ngot it already, I would like a s\u00e9ance instead. \nYou see I\u2019ve told a lot of people about them \nand they\u2019re always at me to get them invited \nto a s\u00e9ance, so I thought if you would not mind \nI would like that better than a present.\u201d \n\nI consented pleased that he should take \nso much interest in the subject; Ernest how- \never found the difficulties in arranging a \ncircle greater than he had anticipated and \nsome days elapsed before all was in order. \nHe was overwhelmed with applications for \npermission to attend, but the numbers had \nnot to exceed twenty to twenty five. All \ninvited were comparative strangers to me \npersonally, although I knew most of them \nby name. \n\nOne among them the son of the editor \nof a local newspaper, was I learned afterwards \nan enthusiastic theosophist, and professed the \n\n\n310 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ngreatest possible interest in the result of the \ns\u00e9ance, \u2014 he was also a photographer and \nit was owing to this fact that I agreed to \nthe proposal of photographing the materialised \nforms. \n\nThe idea once mooted was encouraged \nand a series of s\u00e9ances for the purpose of \nphotographic experiments was arranged, most \nof the assistants at the birthday s\u00e9ance \nagreeing to take part in them. \n\nA faithful and minute record of each \ns\u00e9ance was kept by the photographer above \nnamed who pursued the investigation with the \n_ liveliest interest, his enthusiasm infecting the \nothers, the results were far beyond what we \nhad anticipated. \n\nThe manifestations appeared to receive no \ncheck in consequence of the severe tests which \nwere tried, indeed it seemed to me that our \nunseen friends were put on their mettle to \ntriumph over all obstacles placed in their \nway which they did with perfect success. \n\nSeveral photographs were taken by aid \nof the magnesium light, copies of which are \n\n\nYolande as she appeared when materialised. \nPhotographed by magnesium light 8 March 1890. \n\n\nLeila as materialised 13 March 1890. \n(Photographed by magnesium light). \n\n\neen | \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 311 \n\n\nreproduced here namely the portraits of \n\u201cYolande\u201d and \u201cLeila.\u201d These photographs \nwhich were to us a source of satisfaction and \ncongratulation became in the hands of our \nenemies an excuse for an attack upon me \npersonally. Whether the photographer simu- \nlated the enthusiastic interest he shewed, or \nwhether he was himself a victim to his friends \nrapacity for \u201ccopy\u201d I do not know. I prefer \nto think he was made a tool of by his friends, \nand thus give him the benefit of the doubt. \nAs before mentioned he kept careful notes \nof each s\u00e9ance, and at the end of them he \nbrought me a manuscript which he proposed \nwith my consent to publish at some future \ntime, because the.conditions of admission had \nbeen that the experiments were to be con- \nsidered strictly private and nothing was to be \npublished unless I wished it. The photographer \nas well as the others agreed to this, I read \nhis manuscript hastily through, made a copy, \nstruck out my name wherever its was written \nin full, and returned the original to him, pleased \nwith the impartial manner in which he had \n\n\n312, SHADOW LAND. \n\n\ndealt with the subject, and the keen observa- \ntion which he had displayed throughout the \nentire series. In this manuscript he expressed \nhimself as having certain convictions as well \nas certain doubts, but to these I had no \nobjection, his views and opinions being in \nmany respects the same as my own. A man \nwho has no doubts to overcome in this \ninvestigation is not likely to prove a power- \nful ally. \n\nWhen however the article appeared a few \ndays later without my consent or the consent \nof the other sitters it was in such a mutilated \ncondition interspersed by aspersions and \naccusations that I felt half paralysed with \nhorror, scarcely believing my senses. \n\nI could not understand how anyone could \nprofess so much friendship, take so much \npains to write impartially, and at the same \ntime publish views which were diametrically \nopposite to the facts related, not only by him- \nself but by the other sitters. \n\nWhen I place the two articles alongside \nof each other, and try to explain them, it \n\n\nLeila as she appeared partially materialised 13 March 18go. \n(Photographed by magnesium light). \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 313 \n\n\nseems to me impossible that one and the \nsame person can have written them. \n\n\nSpace does not allow me to produce both \narticles here, but in a future volume I intend \nto give them verbatim and leave my readers \nto unravel the mystery of the truth and its \ndistorted but apparent reflection. \n\n\nI have no personal motive to serve nor \ndesire to injure a misguided opponent whose \nname I do not even mention. As this work \nhowever may fall into the hands of some \nwho only read the mutilated reports and may \nconsider that my silence gave color to the \nfalsehoods and thereby to some extent stamped \nthem as truths \u2014 seeing that up to the \npresent time I have not published his report \n\u201cof the s\u00e9ances, which would have clearly \nshown that the public had been duped \u2014 \nit is simply from a sense of duty to the \npublic, and to those in particular who have \nbeen misled by the false reports that I am \ninduced to give this explanation. \n\n\nThe reports referred to were copied into \n\n\n314 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nevery newspaper in the country, enlarged \nupon, added to, or altered, leading articles of \nthe most vicious character appeared in several \nmore or less prominent newspapers entertain- \ning the people of Sweden for a space of \nthree weeks. During this time the indignation \nof my personal friends who gathered about \nme, was so great that, I had to interfere to \nprevent some schemes for chastising the \noffenders being carried into effect. \n\nExcept for the loyal partisanship of some \nof my friends I could not have borne the \nmisery of this time. Every one advised \nme to go away for awhile, even he \u2014 the \noriginator of the scandal probably unnerved \nby the storm he had raised was the first to \nadvise this. Although I would have liked to \nhave left it all \u2014 to have escaped from the \nanonymous letter writers who regaled me daily \nwith the base outpourings of their own \ndishonorable natures, \u2014 to have fled from \nthe insults which met me at every turn, I \nwas afraid, afraid lest by turning my back \non the enemy, color would be given to their \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 315 \n\n\naccusations. So I stayed at my post and \ntried to attend to my daily work. \n\nIt was a terrible ordeal, and had it not \nbeen for the consciousness that I had done \nnothing to merit it, I must have broken down. \nAs it was, my health began to suffer severely \nfrom the constant strain, and it was sometimes \nwith difficulty I could summon courage \nenough to take my usual daily walks and to \nhear myself pointed out in significant tones \nby the passers by. \n\nIt was at this juncture that the motto \ntaught me when a little child by my father \n\u201cFais ce que tu dois, advienne qui pourra\u2019 \nbecame a sort of sheet anchor. I found \nmyself often repeating the words and finding \nsupport and courage in them. \n\nSo I remained, and the tide turned, for \na reaction set in. The violence of the \npenny-a-liners awakened an antagonistic ele- \nment even among persons who had previ- \nously not given the subject of spiritualism a \nmoments consideration; a spirit of chivalry. \nwas aroused, to defend a woman who was \n\n\n316 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nbeing mercilessly persecuted. Friends gathered \nabout me then and the cause for which I had \nlabored gained many earnest supporters, who \nmight perhaps never have heard of the subject \nexcept for the unmerited blame under which \nI lay. , \n\nLater in the same year another series \nwas held, this time for an old and valued \nfriend the Hon. A. Aksakof of St. Petersburg, \nwho together with some Russian friends came \non a visit to our home. Photographing the \nmaterialised forms being the object worked \nfor, the circle was composed in this case \nonly of the members of our household, and \nour Russian friends, with one or two whom \nwe considered the most suitable, chosen from \namongst those who had assisted at the earlier \nseries. \n\nMany photographs were taken but none \nwere thoroughly successful; at least not in \nthe way we wanted, though we obtained \nmany things we did not expect or try for. \nSome of these unexpected results were very \ninteresting, one of them being the accidental \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 317 \n\n\nphotographing of a man\u2019s face while focussing \nthe cabinet and trying the magnesium light, \nin order to know how to do it without a \nhitch on the following day when the s\u00e9ance \nwas to be held. \n\nWhen the light was flashed, there was a \ngeneral exclamation \u201cI saw a man\u2019s face be- \nhind Mrs. E.\u201d Consequently the plate was \ndeveloped, and sure enough there was a \nman\u2019s face as distinct as my own, to be seen \nabove and behind my chair; a face consider- \nably better to look at than my own, for the \nbrightness of the flashlight had caused me to \nscrew up my eyes and features till they \npresented an extraordinary spectacle. Who \nthe man was, Walter afterwards explained \nto us. - \n\nThe story in full was published in the \n/\u00abMedium and Daybreak\u201d for 21 April 1893, \nand afterwards published in book-form in \nScandinavia and Germany, under the title \n\u201cThe dead are living.\u201d The story of the \nincident as recorded is too long to reproduce \nhere, but the principal facts are as follow: \u2014 \n\n\nRr3 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nOne day the 3rd April 15go, I was busily \nengaged writing business letters, when, hesita- \ntmz for some words, my hand wrote the \nname \u201cSven Stromberg.\u201d Vexed at having \nspoiled my letter, I tossed the paper into \na drawer and forgot it, but happened to \nmention the incident in a letter which was \ncopied later in the day. \n\nOn enquinng of Walter if he knew who \nthe man was, who had been photographed, \nhe replied in wnung: \u201cOh ves, he is called \n\u2018Sven Stromberg: died in America or Canada \nthe 31st or 13th of March, I forget which; \nsays he used to live in a place called Jem- \nland, or something like that; but anyway he \nis dead, and his wife and half a dozen chil- \ndren are in America. He wants you to tell \nhis people that he is dead, \u2014 died greatly \nrespected and lamented, and all that.\u201d \n\nIn reply to this we asked for fuller in- \nformation, but Walter seemed to have for- \ngotten the details. The next day he wrote \nus that Sven Str\u00e9mberg had emigrated with \nhis young wife from his native village of \n\n\nA FRESH BEGINNING. 319 \n\n\nStr\u00e9m, the name of which he had adopted \non his arrival in Canada. He settled in an \nout-of-the-way corner, called New Stockholm, \nwhere children were born to him, and where \nhe died on 31st March 1890, three days \nbefore he wrote his name with my hand on \na half finished letter. He had asked his \nwife to communicate the news of his illness \nand death to his parents and relatives in the \nold country, and as she had not done so \nhe was anxious they should be informed; \nhence his recent appearance among us. \n\nThe whole story was told in Walter\u2019s \npeculiar humerous manner, interspersed with \nremarks respecting the late Sven Str\u00e9mberg\u2019s \nanxiety to let his friends in Sweden under- \nstand that he had become of some import- \nance in his Canadian settlement. \n\nMr. F. undertook to inform the people \nin Str\u00e9m of Sven\u2019s death. The story was \nrelated to Consul Ohl\u00e9n, the Swedish represen- \ntative in Winnepeg, and he was asked to \nmake enquiries as to the truth thereof. \nBeing much struck with it, he published Mr. \n\n\n36 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nF's letter in the \u2018*Canadensaren\u201d and the \n\u201cManitoba Free Press,\u201d and the result was \nthat every confirmation was obtained of the \nactual truth of every particular narrated by \nWalter, and further, that some one having \nread the newspaper report, carried it to Mrs. \nS. Str\u00e9mberg, the widow, who confessed that, \nthough she had written to her relatives in \nStr\u00e9m in Sweden, the nearest post office \nbeing a journey of twelve miles, she had \nnot had time to take her letter there, her \nhusband\u2019s death having left so much on her \nhands. She became so frightened on reading \nthe letter of Mr. F. in the newspaper, that \nthe poor woman set off immediately to post \nher letter. \n\nSuch in short are the particulars of the \ncase. The whole of the voluminous corres- \npondence, which the elicitation of these facts \nentailed, together with the verification of all \nthe statements, is in the possession of Mr. \nidler, of Gothenburg, who went to an im- \nmense amount of trouble in investigating \nthis matter, \n\n\nA FRESH REGINNING. 321 \n\n\nAnother unexpected manifestation was one \nwhich interested me more than \u201cSven Str\u00e9m- \nberg,\u201d whose name I grew to dislike, so \noften did I hear it repeated. This was Yolande\u2019s \ngreatest production and indeed her last, \u2014 \nfor after it she bade us farewell and left us, \nas we then thought, not to return. \n\n\n2I \n\n\nCHAPTER XXHI. \nTHE GOLDEN LILY \u2014 YOLANDE\u2019S LAST WORK. \n\n\n\u201cTake of everyone of them a rod, .... write thou \nevery man\u2019s name upon his rod.... And it came to \npass that on the morrow, Moses went into the tabernacle \nof witness; and, behold, the rod of Aaron, for the house \nof Levi, was budded, and brought forth buds, and bloomed \nblossoms and yielded almonds.\u201d \n\n\nNumsers, Ch. 17, v. 2 and 8. \n\n\nTus last work of Yolande\u2019s was one of the \nunexpected incidents which occurred during \nwhat we grew to call the Aksakof s\u00e9ances. \nAlthough rich in unlooked-for results, we \nhad been unable to obtain the particular \nobject for which these s\u00e9ances were being \nheld, and I was beginning to fear that our \nefforts would be fruitless. This continued \nstrain, and other worries of a business character, \nwere beginning to tell on my nerves, and the \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN LILY. 323 \n\n\nknowledge that this in itself was inimical to \nsuccess was an unquieting thought. At the \nsame time it is most difficult to throw off \nanxiety at command, and though I did my \nbest, it was not much to be proud of. On \nthe evening of the 28th June 1890, we assem- \nbled in our usual s\u00e9ance room. It was in \nreality the upper Hall of the house, an octagon \nshaped chamber, lighted from the roof by \na large ornamental glass window, which we \nhad. so arranged that a softly tinted mild \nlight was admitted equally to all parts of \nthe room. The conditions in every respect \nseemed as bad as they could possibly be. \nIn the first place I had accidently scorched \nmy arm. In lighting a hanging lamp, a \npiece of the match had fallen on my dress \nand the thin muslin was instantly in a blaze. \nMy arms were bare and though the flame \nwas quickly extinguished my left arm was \npainfully scorched. In addition to this I had \nbeen suffering. from a slight but irritating \ntoothache all day. \n\nThese little discomforts, together with a \n\n\n324 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nviolent storm of wind which shook the house \nto its foundations, did not promise much for \nthe success of our s\u00e9ance. We proposed \npostponing it tll next day, but found it was \nnot convenient for most of our friends, all \nhaving other engagements; and on referring \nthe matter to Walter, he told us that Yolande \nparticurlarly desired us to try that evening. \n\nAfter this we had no alternative but to \ntake our places at once. For every one to \nget quietly composed was not an easy matter; \nthe sound of doors and windows in other \nparts of the house being forced in by the \nwind, and sundry breaking of glass panes, \nhad a most disquieting and imitating effect \non everybody\u2019s nerves and on mine in parti- \ncular. The storm decreased in violence as \nthe evening wore away, but judging from \nexperience it seemed to me a hopeless attempt \nto continue sitting under such conditions, \nand I was about to propose giving it up, \nwhen I noticed a scent of flowers, which in- \ncreased so much as to be almost overpower- \ning. I am not fond of strong perfumes, and \n\n\n\u2014 \n\n\n. \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN LILY. 325 \n\n\nthis nearly made me sick with its sweetness. \n\nWalter gave us a message requesting \nus to keep as quiet and composed as we \ncould and that no one was to talk to me, \nbecause Yolande was about to bring us a \nflower; and the external conditions being so \nbad we must do all we could to help her. \n\nWe did what we could, and the fact \nthat we had something to expect helped to \nput us in a better humour. We had sand, \nwater, and a flowerpot in readiness, as we were \naccustomed, though they had never been \nasked for during many months. \n\nThe strong scent was so overpowering, \nthat I felt half suffocated. I put out my \nhand expecting to feel flowers, but there was \nnothing. Immediately afterwards, something \nlarge, heavy, cold, and damp fell against me. \nMy first thought was that it was some dead \nclammy body or object, and it gave me such \na horrid sensation that I almost fainted. I \nwas holding the hand of Mr. Aksakof, when \nit began to feel as though I was receiving \na succession of electric shocks, making it \n\n\n326 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\npainful for me to come in contact with any- \nthing, each shock causing the perspiration to \nrush from every pore in my skin. \n\nThe pain from my scorched arm left \nme, and the toothache also was forgotten; \nand strangely enough every one noticed that \nYolande carried her arm as though she were \nin pain, and when accidently touched she \nflinched as though hurt. I felt very thirsty \nand drank much water, but that was nothing \nunusual during a s\u00e9ance. What went on \noutside the curtains I learned afterwards from \nMr. F\u2019s notes. Yolande with the assistance \nof Mr. Aksakof had mixed sand and loam \nin the flower pot and she had covered it \nwith her veil, as she had done in the case \nof the water bottle in England when the Ixora \nCrocata was grown. \n\nThe white drapery was seen to rise slowly \nbut steadily, widening out as it grew higher \nand higher. Yolande stood by and manipulated \nthe gossamer-like covering till it reached a \nheight far above her head, when she carefully \nremoved it, disclosing a tall plant bowed \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN LILY. 327 \n\n\nwith a mass of heavy blossom, which emitted \nthe strong sweet scent I had complained of. \nNotes were taken of its size, and it was \nfound to be about seven feet in length from \nroot to point, or about a foot and half taller \nthan myself. Even when bent by the weight \nof the eleven large blossoms it bore, it was \ntaller than I.. The flowers were very perfect, \nmeasuring eight inches in diameter; five were \nfully blown, three were just opening, and \nthree in bud, all without spot or blemish, \nand damp with dew. It was most lovely, \nbut somehow the scent of lilies since that \nevening has always made me feel faint. \n! Yolande seemed very pleased with her \nsuccess and told us that if we wanted to \nphotograph the Lily we were to do so, as \n/she must take it away again. She stood \nbeside it and Mr. Boutlerof photographed it \nand her, twice. Mr. B. said \u201cThey are not very \u00a9 \nbeautiful specimens of the photographic art,\u201d \nbut there they were, and taking into consider- \nation the woeful conditions the only thing to \nwonder at is that they could be obtained at \n\n\n328 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nall. The photographing was done by aid of \nthe magnesium flash light. When this had \nbeen concluded, we were told to remain per- \nfectly quiescent to enable Yolande to dema- \nterialise the plant. We tried to comply \nwith the request, but under the circumstances \nit was scarcely possible to feel indifferent \nenough to what was going on to be per- \nfectly quiet. The consequence was that after \nsitting till midnight Yolande despairingly told \n,us that she could not take the plant away.. \n\n, Walter wrote: \u2014 \u201cYolande only got the \n\n\u2019 plant on condition she brought it back. She \nfinds the medium is exhausted and cannot \nbear any more. You must let the plant \nremain in darkness till she can come. again \nand take it.\u201d \n\nMr. Fidler and Mr. Boutlerof then be- \ntween them carried the plant to a dark closet \nin an adjoining room,. where it was locked \nup, till we should receive instructions how to \nact with respect to it. We had been told \nthat no light must be allowed to fall on it \nas that would increase Yolande\u2019s difficulty in \n\n\nThe Golden Lily, produced at a s\u00e9ance, 28 June 1890. \nWas kept a week, during which time six photographs \nwere taken, after which it dissolved and disappeared. \n\n\nDigitized by Google \n\n\nTILMAN F Aue Aste NS \nR L \n\n\nThe Golden Lily and medium. The plant when straight \nmeasured 7 ft; when bent as seen in above its \n- height was about 6 ft. \n\n\nDigicel by Google \n\n\nte aa \n~ \u2019 . \u2018se \n4% \nPir! \nBS 5, Ss \n\n\n-_ \u2014 \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN LILY. 329 \n\n\nremoving it, but curiosity got the better of \nus and we brought the plant into the draw- \ning-room one morning and photographed it \nfour times in various positions, so that al- \nthough we were not to keep the strangely \ngrown plant itself, we have the best of evi- \ndence that it had existed in absolute in- \ncontrovertible reality. \n\nI felt very sorry for Yolande; she seemed \ndistressed for the fate of the great Lily which \nwas visibly beginning to suffer. I think she \nhad made three attempts to take it before \nshe succeeded, and the last was on the 5th \nof July \u2014 eight days after the plant had \ngrown up in our midst, when it vanished \nas mysteriously as it had come. All we \nknew was that at 9.23 p.m. the plant stood \nin our midst, and at 9.30 it was gone; nota \nvestige remained to show that it had ever \nexisted, except the photographs we had taken \nand a couple of flowers which had fallen off. \nThe soil was emptied out of the pot where \nit had stood for eight days, but no sign of \nit was left. Several of our circle declared \n\n\n330 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthat the plant vanished instantly. The scent \nseemed for a moment to fill the room almost \noverpoweringly, and then was gone; the \nexact moment of its disappearance could not \nbe agreed upon nor the manner of its going, \nbut gone it was. \n\nDuring the week the Lily was in our \npossession we had several conversations with \nWalter with respect to it. We wanted per- \nmission before taking upon ourselves the \nresponsibility of photographing it and asked \nWalter to help us to obtain it. We first \nasked: \u2014 \u201cWhat has to be done with the \nLilium Auratum ?\u201d \n\n\u201cWell, that is more than I know. Yolande \nis anxious about it and wants to try again \nto-night to take it.\u2019 \n\n\u201cCan we not pay for it and keep it?\u201d \n\n\u201cYou might if you knew where it came \nfrom, but she cannot tell that herself. Any \nway it has got to go if she can manage it; \nif she cannot then it must. stop.\u201d \n\n\u201cIn what does the absolute necessity of \ntaking it back consist?\u201d \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN LILY. 331 \n\n\n\u201cHave you not learned so much of your \ncatechism? She has been told not to take \nthings which did not belong to her. It\u2019s no \n\u2018use reasoning with one of her sex, she says \n-it\u2019s got to go and I suppose it will have to.\u201d \n\n\u201cMay we take it out and look at it and \n\ncheck some of its measurements?\u201d \n\n\u201cI don\u2019t know. Yolande gave orders it \n\nmight not be in the light.\u201d \n\n\u201cWe have watered it.\u201d \n\n\u201cDon\u2019t do anything else or she will \n\nblame me.\u201d \n\n\u201cPlease give us an explanation of how \n\nthe plant was brought.\u201d \n\n\u201cI cannot, I only know it was here be- \u2014 \n| fore you were last night, and was ready for \n_ being put together at least an hour before \n\nyou saw it.\u201d \n\n\u201cDo you mean it-was here before we came \n\nto the s\u00e9ance?\u201d \n\n\u201cBefore any one came to the s\u00e9ance. \n\nYolande told me she had it ready and was \nafraid the bad conditions would prevent her \nmaterialising it.\u201d \n\n\n332 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nAnother curious little circumstance with \nrespect to the Lily was that Yolande, not \nbeing able to tell us where she got the plant, \nsaid she would let us know in another way. \nOn the night of its disappearance, before it \nvanished, a piece of grey cloth was found \nto be on the stem of it; the stem was in \nfact through a hole in the centre of the cloth. \nHow it came there was a mystery like all \nthe rest. It was not there when we photo- \n.graphed the plant in daylight. Yet to all \nappearance it had grown there, and could not \nbe removed. Yolande, however instructed \nMr. Aksakof to draw it from the stem, which \nhe did; there was no rent in it, nothing but \nthe round hole through which the stem had \npassed. She told us that she got the piece \nof cloth from the same country as the flower \nhad grown. On examination the piece of grey \ncloth was found to be a scrap of mummy \ncloth, still aromatic with the perfumes used \nin embalming. \n\nThis led us to infer that the plant had \nbeen brought from Egypt. Sometime pre- \n\n\nTHE GOLDEN, LILY. ; -\u00a5g8 \n\n\nviously Mr. Oxley had given Mr. F.a_ piece \nof mummy cloth from one of the royal tombs \nin the pyramids. It was considered to be of \nvery fine texture compared with cloths used \nfor embalming less important personages. It \ncontained 1008 meshes to the square inch \nwhereas that on the Lily contained 2584 \nmeshes to the square inch. \n\n\n/ \n\n\nCHAPTER XNIV. \n\n\nSHALL 1 BE ~ANNA\u201d GR -ANNA\u201d\u2019 BE I? \n\n\nFor some time after these experiments my \npowers sank to a very low ebb and after \ntrying once or twice in vain to obtain some \nwriting or simple manifestations, I gave it up \nand devoted all my attention to my daily \nwork, and to painting, which I took up with \nincreased pleasure as some of my productions \nhad been rewarded with a first prize at an \nart competition, and one or two of my Swedish \nlandscapes were sold at prices which gave \nme great hope for the future. \n\nI went in for hard study for a year intend- \ning to make a long holiday in Norway in \n\n\n_the following summer for the purpose of \n\n\nsketching. The sale of a picture or two made \nme the proud possessor of funds enough for \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? = 335 \n\n\na lengthy tour, and I set off with the deter- \nmination to enjoy myself without stint. \n\nIam very fond of this \u201cLand of the \nmidnight sun\u201d with its fjelds and fjords and \nits wild rugged scenes; its glorious skies, its \nremnants of the worship of the old gods, its \nweird stories and superstitions; the land of \nOdin, of Thor and the Valkyria who watched \nfor the souls of the warriors who fell in battle, \nto bear them away to Valhalla. I love its \npeople, the hardy Scandinavian, with their free \nindependence of thought, their honest straight- \nforward simplicity of speech and chivalrous \ndefence of what they deem to be right. \nHonest themselves they expect others to be \nthe same, not only honest in deed but in \nthought. They will not shirk a duty because \nit is unpleasant or because their motives may \nbe misunderstood, and what they undertake. \nthey go through with energy, whether it is \nenquiry into spiritualism or a voyage to the \nNorth Pole. \n\nIt was to assist some of these good friends \nthat I was induced to take up the experiments \n\n\n_ \n\n\n336 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof materialisation again, this time in a more \nstudious and critical spirit than before. I felt \nthat in spite of my experience of these phe- \nnomena, I was as far from understanding them \nas were those who had yet to begin their \nstudy. I had read much of s\u00e9ances with \nother mediums, and had prided myself on \nthe fact that under all circumstances I had \nretained my senses and had not been entranced \n\n\nand unconscious as they were. Still I could \n\n\nnot see that my senses had been of much \nuse to me in enabling me to understand the \nmodus operandi of the manifestations. With \nthese people I felt that I should in some way \nbe helped. They in the first place appeared \nto know more of the theory and philosophy \nthan I did. They noticed and commented on \nthings which had either escaped my observa- \ntion or had not been considered of import- \nance. Thus I began as it were a fresh study. \n\nFrom the beginning I decided that, whether \nwe obtained any manifestations or not, I would \nnot sit behind curtains again. I would use \nmy eyes as well as my ears. If a cabinet \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? 9 337 \n\n\nwas absolutely necessary as we had been so \noften told it was, well, \u2014 then we would have \n_a cabinet, but I would sit outside of it. \n\nThis resolve made it rather uphill work, \nand at first it seemed useless to proceed, as \nthe necessity for darkness made it almost \nimpossible to see the forms when they did \nappear. But this grew better as we went on, \nand at last I began to think I was on the \nright road to learn. I could observe what went \non and was not dependent on my ears alone \nfor information. In spite of this I was no \nnearer really finding out how these things \nhappened. I saw they did happen, I saw the \nresults, but the 4ow and the why remained \nan impenetrable mystery. \n\ny It was at one of these s\u00e9ances in Chris- \ntiania that a sitter \u201cabstracted\u201d a piece of \nthe drapery which clothed one of the spirit \n,forms. Later I discovered that a large square \n\u2018piece of material was missing from my skirt, \npartly cut, partly torn out. My dress was of \na heavy dark woollen material. The \u201cab- \nstracted\u201d piece of drapery was found to be \n\n\n22 \n\n\n338 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof the same shape as that missing from my \nskirt; but several times larger, and white in \ncolor, the texture fine and thin as gossamer! \n\nSomething of the kind had happened once \nbefore in England, when some one had begged \nthe little Ninia for a piece of her abundant \nclothing. She complied, unwillingly it seemed \nand the reason for her unwillingness was \nexplained when, after the seance, I found a \nhole in a new dress which I had put on \nfor the first time. This being nearly black \nI had attributed the mishap more to an \naccident on the part of Ninia than to any \npsychological cause. Now that it happened a \nsecond time, I began to understand that it was \nno accident, and that my dress, or the clothing \nof the persons in the s\u00e9ance, was the foundation \nof or the stores from which the dazzling raiment \nof the spirit form was drawn. The same thing \nhas occurred once or twice since, but when \nthe spirit has given willingly, or has itself cut \nthe piece off its garment, my dress has \nescaped mutilation. \n\nThe experiments made with my good \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? 339 \n\n\nfriends under these new conditions were of \nintense interest to me and gave me much \nfood for thought. I had begun to have a \nfeeling of dissatisfaction with respect to these \nmaterialised forms. I could not analyse my \nown feelings with respect to them, but -a \nvague sense of doubt that had not yet grown \ninto a thought, began to puzzle me. I hardly \nknew how it arose or where it came from, \nbut I could not get away from it, \u2014 it haunted \nme constantly. \n\nNow that I became, as it were, one of \nthe circle instead of occupying the isolated \nposition within the cabinet as I had previ- \nously done, I had a point of double observa- \ntion, inasmuch as I could see from the \nstand point of an ordinary sitter in the circle, \nand at the same time watch my own sensa- \ntions and observe from the standpoint of the \nmedium. The facts learned under these cir- \ncumstances were to me very valuable. \n\nOn one occasion, the last s\u00e9ance before \nI proceeded on my sketching tour, I was \nable to record in my diary the whole of my \n\n\n340 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthoughts, impressions and feelings, and as it \nis a fairly good illustration of what.a medium \nfeels during a materialisation s\u00e9ance, if he or \nshe is conscious of anything, I give it exactly \nas I then recorded it in my journal: \u2014 \n\n\n\u201cWe reach Christiania in good time and \ngo to get a cup of tea before proceeding to \nthe s\u00e9ance room. \n\n\n\u201cMy spirits go down to zero and my \nnervousness increases as the-time draws near. \n\n\u2018You don\u2019t look \u2018ery happy, remarks \nJaney. \n\n\u2018Neither do I feel so, I reply, though I \nreproach myself instantly, when I remember \nhow much trouble they have all taken to \ninsure my comfort, and the success of the \nforthcoming s\u00e9ance, and I try to look a little \nless like a martyr, as I drink my tea and \nlisten to the remarks as to the arrangements \nfor the evening. \n\n\n\u201cWhen we reach the s\u00e9ance room I am \nmet by several old acquaintances and I see \nthe two little children are there again, with \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u2019\u201d\u2019 BE I? 341 \n\n\nanother little boy, son of Mrs. Pettersson, \nthe medium. \n\n\u201cI feel a good deal comforted by the \nsight of the children. They are dear little \nthings. They bring their stools and sit down \non either side of me as a matter of course, \nchatting to each other and to me like a \nsmall pair of magpies. \n\n\u201cThe gas is turned down leaving sufficient \nlight to see every object in the room, and I \ncan see the time by the not very clear clock \nat the far end. I think it is too light, but \nthere is no need to suggest a change till it \nis necessary. Somebody gives me two par- \ncels of confectionary, but, as usual during a \ns\u00e9ance, I cannot bear to have to take charge \nof anything; even the care of these two par- \ncels is too much, so I hand them to my \nnearest neighbour together with my gloves. \n\n\u201cLittle Jonte gets one parcel with instruc- \ntions to give some of its contents to his \nlittle spirit brother, Gustav, should he come. \n\n\u201cGetting rid of my encumbrances, I settle \ndown quietly, taking hold of each child\u2019s \n\n\n342 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nhand. It occurs to me, though, that perhaps \nby doing so I may in some way use up the \nchildren\u2019s strength, so I loosen my hold on \nthem, for the little creatures need all the \nstrength they possess. \n\n\u201cWe sat sometime without anything occur- \nring, though it was evident something was \nmoving inside the cabinet behind me. We \ncould value the good singing, which served \nto distract attention from the cabinet and \ninterest one during the long interval of wait- \ning. \n\n\u201cThe light was lowered, and instantly a \nfigure came from behind the curtains with \n- such suddenness as to startle everyone. \n\n\u201cThis was followed by a smaller one who \nwalked round me and came to little Jonte, \nwho at once handed it the parcel of sweets \nsaying: \u2014 \u2018This is for you, dear little Gustav.\u2019 \n\n\u201cThe little white figure came back, hold- \ning the parcel and with quick eager fingers \nopened the paper, and reached it out to little \nMaja, who took some of the contents; then \njt poured some on to my knee and pushed \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? 343 \n\n\nthem towards Jonte, who was watching anx- \niously for his share. \n\n\n\"Is it your brother, Jonte? Is it Gustav?\u201d \ncried a voice from a little distance. \u2018Tell me, \nis it Gustav?\u2019 \n\n\"Yes it\u2019s Gustav,\u2019 replied Jonte with his \nmouth full of chocolate creams. \n\n\n\u2019Go, little Gustav, he continued, \u2019and see \nMamma, and give her some also, continued \nhe. \u2019Come I'll take you. You need not be \nafraid. I'll take care of you. \n\n\n\u201cBut Gustav went without help and pour- \ned the remainder of the contents of the \nparcel on his mother\u2019s knee, stroked her face \nwith his tiny hands and drew himself back \nto his former place beside his brother and \nsister. \n\n\n\u2019Go and see Papa, little Gustav. Go my \nlittle one, he wants you, pleaded the mother \nwho seemed to be much agitated. But Gustav \ndid not heed her; he remained a few minutes \nlonger with the children, then slowly melted \ninto air, and was gone. \n\n\n344 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n\u201cDuring this time another figure at my \nleft had made its appearance several times \nwithout succeeding in coming fairly out, a \ntall, fully developed figure who walked with \nquick steps out into the middle of the circle \nand was there met by Mr. Lund, who rose \nup from his place to meet it. \n\n\u201cI do not know who it was nor did I \nremember to ask afterwards. \n\n\u201cThis figure causes some surprise in the \ncircle, for up to now the forms have had a \nmuffled-up sort of appearance and a shy \nshrinking manner, but this one walks as \nthough doing us a favor by coming in our \nmidst. It brushes past me as if I did not \nexist and I fancy I feel a little crushed. A \nminute before, I was apparently the most \nimportant person in the room; now I am \nnobody. I feel rather curious about the looks \nof this stately personage, but her back is \nto me, and I can only judge by the figure \nwhich seems very tall, and I notice that, as \nshe stands beside Mr Lund, she is not much \nshorter than he is. She walks back in the \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE 1? 345 \n\n\nsame dignified manner as before. I feel very \nmuch like reminding her that she ought to \nbe obliged to me, and take some notice of \nme sitting there, instead of sweeping past in \nso unceremonious a fashion; but now she is \ngone and I have not had courage to assert \nmyself. I feel curiously weak and powerless \nand can only feel without having strength \nto act. \n\n\u201cNow comes another figure, shorter, slen- \nderer, and with outstretched arms. Somebody \nrises up at the far end of the circle and \ncomes forward and the two are clasped in \neach others arms. Then inarticulate cries of \nAnna! Oh, Anna! My child! My loved one! \n\n\u201cThen somebody else gets up and puts \nher arms round the figure; then sobs, cries, \nand blessings get mixed up. I feel my body \nswayed to and fro and all gets dark before \nmy eyes. I feel somebody\u2019s arms round me \nalthough I sit on my chair alone. I feel \nsomebody\u2019s heart beating against my breast. \nI feel that something is happening. No one \nis near me except the two children. No one \n\n\n346 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nis taking any notice of me. All eyes and \nthoughts seem concentrated on the white \nslender figure standing there with the arms \nof the two black-robed women around it. \n\n\u201cIt must be my own heart I feel beating \nso distinctly. Yet those arms round me? \nSurely never did I feel a touch so plainly. \nI begin to wonder which is I. Am I the \nwhite figure or am I the one on the chair? \nAre they my hands round the old lady\u2019s \nneck, or are these mine that are lying on \nthe knees of me, or on the knees of the \nfigure if it be not I, on the chair? \n\n\u201cCertainly they are my lips that are being \n. kissed. It is my face that is wet with the \ntears which these good women are shedding \nso plentifully. Yet how can it be? It is \na hornble feeling, thus losing hold of one\u2019s \nidentity. I long to put out one of these \nhands that are lying so helplessly, and touch \nsome one just to know if I am myself or \nonly a dream \u2014 if \u2018Anna\u2019 be I, and I am \nlost as it were, in her identity. \n\n\u201cI feel the old lady\u2019s trembling arms, the \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? .347 \n\n\nkisses, the tears, the blessings and caresses \nof the sister, and I wonder in an agony of \nsuspense and bewilderment, how long can \nit last? How long will there be two of us? \nWhich will it be in the end? Shall I be \n\u2018Anna\u2019 or \u2018Anna\u2019 be I? \n\n\n\u201cThen I feel two little hands slip them- \nselves into my nerveless ones and they give \nme a fresh hold of myself as it were, and \nwith a feeling of exultation I find / am \nmyself, and that little Jonte, tired of being \nhidden behind the three figures, feels lonely \nand grasps my hands for company and com- \nfort. \n\n\n\u201cHow glad I am of a touch, even from \nthe hand of a child. My doubts as to who I| \nam and where I am, are gone. While I am \nfeeling thus the white figure of \u2018Anna\u2019 dis- \nappears in the cabinet, and the two ladies \nreturn to their seats, excited and tearful but \novercome with happiness.\u201d \n\n\nThere was a great deal more to happen \nthat night, but somehow I felt weak and \n\n\n348 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nindifferent to all around me, and not inclined \nto be interested in what occurred. Strange \nand remarkable incidents took place but for \nthe moment my life seemed dragged out \nof me and I longed for solitude and rest. \nI ardently wished for repose far away from \nany city, and once the s\u00e9ance was over my \nthoughts were on the long wished for holi- \nday. I soon recuperated and in a couple \nof days left for the mountains. \n\nThe remembrance of the strange sensa- \ntions which overwhelmed me during the inter- \nview of \u201cAnna\u201d and her friends tormented \nme cruelly. In vain I tried to escape my \nown thoughts, and turn my attention to the \nmagnificent landscapes by which I was sur- \nrounded. They pursued me, forced themselves \nupon me, till in self-defence I was obliged \nto make a stand and examine them as they \npresented themselves. Thoughts of incom- \nprehensible occurrences, which had been put \naside long ago, now raised themselves afresh \nand demanded explanation. The memory of \nYolande\u2019s seizure, of many incidents which \n\n\nSHALL I BE \u201cANNA\u201d OR \u201cANNA\u201d BE I? 349 \n\n\nhad perhaps escaped the notice of any other \nthan myself, stood ranged before me in formid- \nable line, and I felt that till these things were \nexplained I could go no further. \n\n\nCHAPTER XXV. \nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. \n\n\n\u201cAbove the darksome sea of death \nLooms the great life that is to be, \n\nA land of cloud and mystery \n\nA dim mirage, with shapes of men \n\nLong dead, and passed beyond our ken.\u201d \n\n\nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nFor some months after my experiences in \nNorway I was worried by speculations con- \ncerning spiritualistic phenomena, and some \nworks which I had read kept the subject \nalive. Many times I took in review all the \nunexplained occurrences, all the arguments \nbrought to bear on the origin of spirit \nmanifestations, and weighed them in the \nbalance with my experiences as a counter- \nweight. \n\nThat manifestations were genuine could \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 351 \n\n\nnot be doubted, but whence came they? This \nwas the question. Were these materialised \nforms in which I had been so interested my \n\u201csubliminal consciousness\u201d acting independently \nof my will, or could it possibly be the old \nlong-feared enemy of mankind, the Devil \nseeking to delude us by wearing the garb \nof long lost friends to draw us into an abyss \nof iniquity and deception. Had I all these \nyears been serving him and leading others \ninto wrong-doing? Had my life been a series \nof mistakes? Would those whose eyes I \nhad tried to open to living facts curse me \nfor having led them from the right path? \n\nThe thought was an awful and ever pre- \nsent one, but I was afraid of knowing the \ntruth. I had not courage enough to face \nit if so be that \u00a2#at was the truth. Better \nuncertainty than confirmation of that fear. \n\nI remembered the faith of my childhood and \ngirlhood in the loving-kindness of God and \nhow, when I claimed the help which had been \npromised to all who believed, the help was \nnot forthcoming; how I had felt then that I \n\n\n352 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nhad built my hopes on sand and had no solid \nground on which to rebuild the shattered \nedifice; and now this too had failed. It was \nthe same dreary experience over again; I had \nnowhere to place my feet. Life was hateful; \nand death a fearful ending to a meaningless \nexistence of trial and suffering. \n\nI could understand how it was that a \nmedium recanted and confessed that spiritual- \nistic manifestations were only a horrible farce \nand deception. If my doubts and fears were \nconfirmed it was the only honest course \nopen for me also and I must do as others \nhad done before me. It.would be worse than \ndeath; therefore | would wait, I would know \nthe truth, I would solve the terrible doubts \nlet the cost be what it would. Then, should \nit be that I had been deceived and deceived \nothers, I would not die till I had tried to \nundo by every means in my power the \nwrong I had wrought. \n\nThis resolution made, I had at least one \nthing left to live for, and began immediately \nto project plans for carrying out experiments. \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 353 \n\n\nI would ignore the fact that I was a medium; \nI would act as though my personality was \nto be suspected; I would not trust myself. \nExperiments should be carried out to prove \nwhat part I played in the production of these \nmanifestations; 1 would not trust my thoughts, \nmy feelings, nor my own senses. If I had \nany part in representing the spirit forms I \nmust know it. \n\n\nI had always maintained that, neither \nconsciously nor unconsciously, had I any part \nin these, beyond lending my strength, since, \nseeing that I never lost consciousness, it could \nnot be. Still the devil can have many resources, \nand he can perhaps make me \u201ci7vk I have \nnever lost my powers of reasoning. So | \nargued with myself. \n\n\nHaving made up my mind to solve what \nseemed to be a question of vital importance, \nI felt my courage return, and from wishing \nthat life might soon be at an end, when I \nmight rest or at least find peace in the grave, \nI began to fear that death might come be- \n\n23 \n\n\n354 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nfore I had finished my task, and I was anxious \nto set to work. \n\nAn attack of illness, caused perhaps by \nthe wearing anxiety, coupled with an acci- \ndental cold, stopped all question of experi- \nments, and when the doctor expressed a doubt \nas to my ultimate recovery I experienced \na feeling of relief that by death I should \nescape both the work and the humiliation, and \nfelt a kind of triumph in the thought that I \nshould be prevented from carrying out my \nresolution in spite of myself. I took credit \nfor the self-sacrifice I had resolved on, but \ninwardly rejoiced that death should take the \nmatter in his own hands and settle the question \nwithout consulting my wishes, and I should be \nfree. There would at least be an end of \ndoubt, as far as I myself was concerned. I \nshould know if spirit communication and mani- \nfestation were true. If they were not then I should \nbe spared the humiliation of confessing to \nmy wrong-doing. But if they were true! \nAnd if for some reason I could not return to \nproclaim the truth! Well, then, there would be \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 355 \n\n\nnothing to confess. Any way I should escape \nthe task I had set myself and could let others \nfind out for themselves. \n\nNow came the thought that this way of \nreasoning was selfish and cowardly. If I had \nled others wrong I must at all hazards try \nto undo the mischief. If I died, I lost the \nopportunity. To be glad to die in order to \nshuffle out of a self-imposed task was weak \nand mean. I had no right to leave the work \nof restitution to others. No! I must do the \nwork myself and prove the truth or falseness \nof this great subject. Whether true or false \nI must not shrink to make it known. \n\nI began to recover. I must get well. \nI could do nothing while sick, and I was losing \nvaluable time. I begrudged the hours and \ndays as they fled past till I should be able \nto attend to my usual duties. \n\nIt was a Sunday morning, a bright sum- \nmer day. I had thrown myself on my sofa \nwith a book, but my mind was occupied \nwith projects as to the practical carrying out \nof tests, so that I did not pay much atten- \n\n\n\u00bb \n\n\n356 SHALOW LAND. \n\n\ntion to its pages. I felt a curiously faint \nsinking sensation, and the pnnted pages I had \nbeen trying to study became strangely in- \ndistinct. Was I going to faint? Everything \nbecame dark and I felt sure I was going to \nbe ill again. JI would call someone, but I \nremembered there was no one on that side \nof the house. \n\nThe faintness passed away almost imme- \ndiately, and I was glad I had not disturbed \nanyone. I glanced at my book; strange, how \nfar away and dim it seemed. I had moved \naway from the sofa, but somebody else was, \nthere and held the book! Who could it be? \nHow wonderfully light and strong I felt. The \nfaintness had gone and in its place had come \na marvellous sense of health, strength, and \npower which I had never before known. \n\nLife was waking up within me, springing, \nbubbling, coursing through my veins like \nelectric streams. Every part of my body \nwas vlowing with new vigor, and a sense of \nabsolute untrammeled freedom. For the first \ntime I knew what it was to live. \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. a7 \n\n\nHow strange! The room looked so small, \nso cramped, so dark and that dim figure on \nthe sofa? Who was she? I seemed to re- \ncognise something in the quiet form, some \nfaint recollection of having known her, but \nthis irresistible sense of freedom must be in- \ndulged; I could not stay in this place, but \nwhere should I go? I moved towards the \nwindow. Strange how curiously dim my \nsurroundings seemed. The walls appeared \nto approach me, to disappear; but whither \nI could not tell. \n\nThis phenomenon did not greatly surprise \nme, though I wondered somewhat, for there \naway a little distance off, I saw a_ friend \nwhom I recognised, not as one usually re- \ncognises friends through familiarity with face \nor figure. Even at this moment I \u00a2ould not \nexplain, nor say if he had a single familiar \nfeature. All I knew was, he was my friend \nand had been my friend through ages a \nfriend, better, wiser, stronger than myself. I \nneeded a friend and the friend had come. \nHe spoke, or perhaps he did not use language \n\n\n358 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthough I understood better than any tongue \ncould explain. \n\n\u201cDid I see where I was \n\nYes, I could see, though curiously enough \nthe sunshine had faded and we were in a narrow \nroad, not a pleasant one either, and as I looked \naround me I held my friend by the hand and \nfelt assured of safety. It was a strange place, \nyet there was a curious familiarity about it. \nDark gloomy overhanging rocks were on \neach side, obstructed here and there by pro- \njections which seemed to block up the passage. \nThe ground was strewn with rough stones \nand tangled brushwood, with here and there \ndeep holes into which unwary travellers \nmust stumble. My eyes searched as it were \ngropingly along the road, inch by inch, foot \nby foot, an apparently insurmountable obstacle \nwas reached, and, as I came near it I was \nconscious of a feeling of exultation for the \ndifficulties shrank as I stepped forward and \npassed them with ease. \n\nA pitfall yawned open-mouthed, in my \npathway, and dismayed, I saw no hope of \n\n\n\u201d? \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 359 \n\n\navoiding a disastrous fall into the miry \ndepths, I looked boldy forward and as I \nadvanced a narrow track was visible. If I \ndid not turn dizzy, and could step firmly and \ncarefully the gulf might be safely passed. \n\nIt was a long weary way and though I \nwas with a friend now it was only for a short \ntime, but I was not afraid, for though it was \ndark and cheerless, surrounded by cold mist \nthat chilled the blood, and damped the courage, \nyet here and there gleamed out a warm clear \nlight which filled the heart with joy and \nthankfulness. \n\nLooking backwards along the road, I felt \na curious sense of proprietorship. The light \nwhich had come in transient gleams seemed \nto have diffused itself over the whole, and I \ncould see my footprints over its length where \nI had diverged from the road, wherever I \nhad endeavoured to go around obstacles, and \nwhere I had been driven back and compelled \nto surmount them. \n\nI saw the pitfalls into which I had fallen \nand from which I had had to drag myself \n\n\n360 SHADOW LAND \n\n\npainfully out again, only to find that I might \nhave avoided the dangers had I seen the \nlight which now lay over it all. \n\nLooking eagerly forward again I saw the \nlight gleaming out in the distance, while the \nshadows lay at our feet, and I felt a burning \ndesire to press forward towards it, even as \nI felt this, a beam of light crept towards me \nand guided my steps. \n\n\u201cCan you travel the road alone?\u201d asked \nmy friend. \u201cIs your courage equal to the \ntask?\u201d \n\n\u201cYes I can if it be necessary. It is not \nas difficult as it looks. But I must have light, \nwithout it 1 should not be safe. But why \nshould I? Are there no better roads?\u201d \n\n\u201cLook farther!\u201d \n\nI looked farther, and, as my eyes searched, \nthe darkness lifted itself little by little, and at \nthe end of the road afar off a brilliant gleam \nof heht burst out, flooding the road with \nglory inconceivable. T could not bear it. Twas \nashamed and hid my face for the light pene- \ntratal me through and through and IT saw \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 368 \n\n\nmyself as I really was and not as I had in \nmy arrogance thought myself. Could it be \nthat others could see me as I now saw myself? \n\nI clung to my friend and asked, \u201cWhat \nis it? Tell me what it means.\u201d \n\n\u201cIt is truth. It is what you have resolved \nto find.\u201d \n\n\u201cAnd this road, must I travel it to reach it?\u201d \n\n\u201cIt is the road you have made; you have \nno other.\u201d \n\n\u201cThen if I travel it, I shall find the truth. \nI cannot fail. I feel I cannot fail.\u201d \n\n\u201cYou have found it already. You have \nonly to grasp it and hold it close.\u201d \n\n\u201cHelp me, let me see more, teach me to \nunderstand. How shall I reach it, how hold \nit fast.\u201d \n\n\u201cYou have reached it; you have seen it \nbefore, but you did not recognise it. It has \nlighted your pathway but you would not \nacknowledge it.\u201d \n\n\u201cIt has been so faint, so dim, I did not \nknow,\u201d I said humbly. \n\n\u201cYou have felt it, but you put it aside, \n\n\n362 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nand raised barriers between it and you, and \nhid it from your sight.\u201d \n\n\n\u201cI did not know, I did not know.\u201d \n\n\n\u201cYou closed your eyes and walked blindly \ninto snares and pitfalls; you preferred to trust \nto your fancied wisdom rather than to the \nlight; you turned aside for new paths which \nled away from it.\u201d \n\n\u201cI did not know, I did not know.\u201d \n\n\u201cYou had the light within your grasp. \nYou saw it gleaming, but it offended you \nbecause it discovered things which were offen- \nsive to you. You preferred to let darkness \ncover them out of sight and tried to believe \nthey did\u2019 not exist. You cast the light behind \nyou and walked on into darkness and \ndespair.\u201d \n\n\u201cI did not know, I did not know.\u201d \n\n\n\u201cYou thought in vour heart: \u2018I am _ suffi- \ncient unto myself. I will do this thing, I will \ndo that thing, and so you stumbled, fell into \nthe mire, and when you were baffled at every \nturn, you turned back, thwarted in your plans. \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 363 \n\n\ndeceived by your own desire; then and only \nthen you asked for truth.\u201d \n\n\u201cJ did not know; help me to understand \ntruth, to hold fast to it. Help me to approach \nthis wonderful light; let me understand the \nmeaning of life. I will not let you go. Oh \nhelp me, help me!\u201d \n\nI clung to my friend. We turned aside \nfrom the contemplation\u2019 of the road. <A \nsense of motion, bewilderment, increasing light, \nintense living radiance, and then \u2014 Who \ncan describe the indescribable? _ Time had \ndisappeared, space was no longer existing. \nI was overpowered by my own insignificance. \nHow mean, how small an atom I was of \nthis unutterable greatness; yet one with it, \nborn of it, belonging to it. I realised this, \neven with my sense of smallness, and knew \nthat, mean and poor as | was, I was yet a \npart of this undying, infinite, indestructible \nwhole; that without me it would not be com- \nplete. \n\nThe light of this great life penetrated \nme, and I understood, \u2014 wzmzderstood that \n\n\n364 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthoughts were the only real tangible substances, \nand why, between my friend and me, utter- \nance was not needed. The secrets of life \nand death were unveiled and the meaning \nbecame plain. The reason of sin and suffer- \ning, the everlasting struggle towards perfection \nwere evident; how each atom of life had its \nappointed place into which it fitted as no \nother atom could; how each change and \nevolution brought it nearer to its goal. As \ndesire arose within me I found the means \nof grasping it. Knowledge was mine. I had \nonly to desire and it was in my grasp. \n\nAnd I had dared to doubt, dared to \nquestion the power of God, \u2014 nay, his very \nexistence! I had presumed to question the \nfact of spiritual life. I had blindly called \nthe dark shadowy confines of earthly existence \nthe real life. \n\nI stood with my friend, overcome with \nthis new sense of reality, this wonderful truth. \nI saw other beings, living radiant creatures, \nand felt humbled and ashamed of my own \ninferiority; yet my soul went out to them in \n\n\nFROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 365 \n\n\nlove, friendship, and adoration. I longed for \ntheir friendship and their love. \n\nWhat was this? My longing went out \nfrom me as a stream of silvery light. It \n\u2018reached them; a line, a cord of communica- \ntion, born of my very desire. I could go \nto them, they could come to me; they were \nconscious of the aspiration, smiled on me, \nand I felt that I had been blessed beyond \nmy deserts. \n\nThere were others for whom I felt an \nintense compassion and an irresistible desire \nto draw them nearer to me. They might \ncome if they would, they might approach \nme did they desire it. They could come to \nme, even as I could come nearer those bright \ncreatures of love and truth. If they would \nonly let me, I could do so much to dispel \nthe shadows in which they were surrounded. \n\nThey had helped me, made themselves \none with me. We had worked together. \nWe had at times succeeded, at times failed; \nwe had been baffled by difficulties, had fallen \nheadlong into snares; in all we had been \n\n\nei SHADOW LAND. \n\ntogether. We had worked without light, but \nthey bore their share as I did; we were \nweak, equally blind, equally guilty. \n\nWhat was the difference now? Why did \n| pity them? Why wish to draw them nearer \nt) me? 1 was no better than they, no higher. \nNo! there was no better, no worse, no higher, \nno lower. We were all the same; all members \nof the great family, all atoms of one great \ncreative soul; but I, the atom less wise, less \nclever, than those whom I pitied, had found \nthe light which they were yet seeking. \n\nThe light had entered my soul and I \nwas filled with joy ineffable. It was mine, \nthis new born fire. It could not escape \nthrough all eternity. It was within their hands \ntoo, but they had not laid hold of it. It \nwas round about them, within them; but \nthey were not conscious of it. They were \nin the same position as I when on the road. \nI would teach them. I would help them. \nI would show them how to grasp the truth \nand hug it to them, help them as my friend \nhad helped me into the light. They would \n\n\nequally \n\n\n' FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT. 367 \n\n\nunderstand, even as I did, what this great \nlight and love meant. If they would only \nsend out one little desire to me for my help. \nI stretched out my arms, cried to them. \nI felt my whole being filled with an aching \nyearning to lift them to me. How easily I \ncould do it. How easily they could partake \nof this glorious new life if they would. \nHow could I attract their attention? How \nshow them the way? Oh! for some of the \nradiant beauty of those glorious beings whose \nsmile had blessed me. Oh! for a little of \nthe light and influence they shed on my way. \nI would seek them, for they would help me. \nI would drink in this living glorious truth, \nit should fill my whole being, that I in turn \nmight reflect its glory on those I loved and \nfor whom I had such great compassion. My \nwhole consciousness resolved itself into the \nprayer: \u201cHelp me that I may help others.\u201d \n\n\nCHAPTER XXVI. \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. \n\n\n\u201cThus the Seer, \n\nWith vision clear, \n\nSees forms appear and disappear, \n\nIn the perpetual round of strange, \n\nMysterious change \n\nFrom birth to death, from death to birth, \n\nFrom earth to heaven, from heaven to earth; \n\nTill glimpses more sublime \n\nOf things, unseen before, \n\nUnto his wondering eyes reveal \n\nThe Universe, as an immeasurable wheel \n\nTurning for evermore \n\nIn the rapid and rushing river of Time.\u201d \nLONGFELLOW. \n\n\nAs THE desire was formed, it filled and ani- \nmated every fibre of my being, throbbed and \npulsated, gathering strength and energy till \naction was irresistible, and I felt strong to \nunderstand, and strong to begin the work \nwhich had suddenly become for me the great \nanimating principle of happiness. \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 369 \n\n\nTo teach others, I must learn myself. \nBut where begin? It surprised me to find \nhow difficult it was to remember what special \nsubject it was that had troubled me to under- \nstand. It was with a feeling akin to pain \nthat I searched within myself for some clue \nto what had puzzled me and made me un- \nhappy. It was so long ago, or in some way \nit seemed related to some half forgotten \ndream; the feeling of unsatisfaction was clear, \nbut how had it arisen? It resembled the \nsense of depression which a sleeper experi- \nences on awakening from some uncomfortable \ndream, while he is unable to recall the vision \nwhich gave birth to the feeling. That I had \ndreamed of a state of existence which differed \nin some way from this, I knew, and I also \nknew that I must recall the dream in order \nto find what mystery it was I wished to \nsolve. F \n\nIncident after incident revealed itself, as \npictures which I recognised as belonging to \nthe dream, dim, blurred and indistinct, in \nwhich I saw myself as acting a part; pictures \n\n24 \n\n\n370 SHADOW LAND \n\n\nwhich caused me a sense of shame and \nhumiliation; and I hurried to let them fall \ninto the mists of forgetfulness. One by one \nI was able to grasp the incidents Yet at \nthe best it was a broken chain and its want \nof sequence troubled or puzzled me. I could \nnot find anything to fill up the blanks. Had \nI forgotten? or had the dream been only a \ndisconnected chain of thoughts or fancies? \n\nWho I was, what the name I bore, seemed \nto have no significance, nor could I recall \nit, but through all the dull and undefined \nmistiness of the dream, my own identity, the \nEgo which was now trying to grasp the \nvague threads and shadows, was the same, \nthe only clear palpable and unmistakable \nfact which required no exertion to recall, \nand I was able to follow it little by little, \nstep by step, through the intricacies of my \nstrange experience. One by one, I gathered \nup the threads of the dream life and saw it \nin its entirety, saw how it had been influenced \nby others, how many other individualities had \ncome in touch with it, how many conflicting \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 371 \n\n\nsympathies and attractions had swayed and \ndeflected its original purpose. \n\nInterestedly as though unravelling a tan- \ngled skein I followed the threads from cause \nto effect, from motive to action, and I saw \nthat the motives were pure and earnest. I \nsaw the intense desire for knowledge and \nthe desire for help to obtain it. I saw \nhow this desire attracted those who from \nsympathy wished to help, but in these, alas, \nthe knowledge too was wanting and the \nresult was disaster. \n\nMy interest in the mysterious dream-life \ndrew me involuntarily downwards or upwards \n\u2014 it matters not which, since there exists \nneither the one nor the other, \u2014 but nearer \nto a misty cloudlike region in which one \nfelt stifled, cramped as though the atmos- \nphere had become close, thick and substantial. \nA feeling of almost fear and anxiety oppressed \nme, and I felt an instinctive desire to escape \nfrom the sense of heaviness which was grad- \nually closing in and around me; yet the \ndesire to learn was stronger, and gathering \n\n\n372 \u00bb SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nall my energies I combatted the instinct which \nwould lead to clearer air and freedom. \n\nThere was a vague sense of familiarity \nin the vaporous mistiness, something in the \nforms and shapes which recalled the dream- \nlife more vividly, and gradually I became \naware that in this region the dream-life was \nlived. I saw that all this misty world was \nteeming with life, real life \u2014 _ struggling \nindividualities, each with aims, ambitions, hopes, \nfears, joys, despairs, strangely alike, yet differ- \nent; each seemingly existing of itself, yet \neach dependent on the other, each influencing, \nleading, attracting, or repelling each other. \n\nViewed from my point of observation it \nwould seem that this world of mist was \nevolving from itself a living something, which \nwould rise up, perfected and purified, into \nthe world of reality, and in this something \nI recognized the spirit of humanity akin to \nthose perfect beings whom I had so lately \nseen. \n\nAs I recognized this, the fear of the \nmisty world gave place to a lively sympathy \n\n\n' THE MYSTERY SOLVED. 373 \n\n\nand interest, I knew that it was the world \nin which the incidents of the dream-life were \nenacted, but I wondered how it was that objects \nwere so different. These rocks, these seas \nwhich had before seemed so solid, so un- \nfathomable were only vapours or clouds, \nthrough which I passed without resistance. \nThey offered no opposition to my progress. \nI passed as easily as an arrow through the \nclouds, and came in closer contact with the \nhuman spirits I had seen from afar. \n\nCuriously they were unconscious of my \nnearness. They passed me by without seeing \nme; they took no notice of my friendly \nadvances; they seemed each intent on his \nown thoughts which revolved round and \nround the central point \u2014 the ego of each in- \ndividuality; never losing sight of it, all striv- \ning one with the other for the purpose of \nincreasing its importance. - \n\nHow blindly, how mistakenly they were \nworking, these strugglers, driven by that, to \nthem, mysterious force, to develope, to im- \nprove, to become greater and more excellent, \n\n\n374 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto rise above the level of their surroundings. \nThey obeyed the instinct, but shutting their \neyes to the light, they laboured blindly and \ngropingly, accumulating stores which they \nbelieved would raise them above their fellows, \nbut they buried themselves under them in- \nstead. They obeyed the instinct which im- \npelled them onward to develope themselves \ninto something better and greater than be- \nfore; yet they were without the knowledge of \nhow to apply their possessions to their advan- \ntage and the furtherance of their desires. They \nworked with energy as though the dream-life \nwere the whole \u2014 the Alpha and Omega \u2014 of \nexistence, yet knowing that dissolution would \nunquestionably overtake them. Oh! if they \ncould only see the light through which I \nsaw, and know what this great impulse, this \ninstinct meant, and how they misunderstood \nit, they would hasten to repair the mistakes \nthey were committing. They believed in \ndeath yet worked as though they did not. \n\nI felt an infinite pity and compassion for \nthese mistaken ones, and was thrilled with a \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 375 \n\n\ndesire to show them my treasure which I \nhad found and which was to me the key to \nall the secrets of this wonderful existence. \nThrough it I saw that this life which ani- \nmates all things is undying, immortal; that \nthere is no death, no annihilation; that it is \nthe same life which circling for ever and \never through form after form, dwelling in \nthe rocks, the sand, the sea, in each blade \nof grass, each tree, each flower, in all forms \nof animal existence, culminates in Man\u2019s in- \ntelligence and perception. Through it I saw \nthat all events, all progress, movements, rev- \nolutions, are but the expression of obedience \nto the laws which govern the universe, and \nthat the movements which had seemingly \nbeen organised and carried out by men of \ntheir own free-will, had in fact been brought \nabout by natural laws from which there is \nno escape; the individual whose intelligence \nmost quickly perceived and appreciated the \nnecessity of action becoming for the time a \nleader of his fellows. \n\nI could understand that, for the develop- \n\n\n376 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nment of intelligence and perception, the spirit \nmust pass through all organisms, gathering \nqualifications and properties incident to and \npeculiar to each; that the spirit and intelli- \ngence of man were the outcome and accu- \nmulation of all the knowledge gathered during \nan infinitude of existences in different forms \nand conditions which must go on and on for \never. I could see that the fact of the spirit \nfirst taking on itself the form of man did \nnot bring it to its utmost earthly perfection, \nfor there are many degrees of men. In the \nsavage it widens its experience, and finds a \nnew field for education, which being exhaust- \ned, another step is taken; and so, step by \nstep, in an ever onward, progressive, expan- \nsive direction, the spirit developes, the decay \nof the forms which the spirit employs being \nonly the evidence that they have fulfilled \ntheir mission and served the purpose for \nwhich they were used. They return to their \noriginal elements to be used again and again \nas a means whereby the spirit can manifest \nitself and obtain the development it requires. \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 377 \n\n\nAll this I saw so plainly; it seemed \nso simple, so rational, so complete, that I \nwondered how it was I had not known it \nbefore. Where had my senses been that | \nhad been unable to see these simple things? \nOnly now by the aid of my new treasure, \nwere the laws made visible. \n\nHow I longed to bring this light to bear \non all the shadowy places, all the darknesses, \nwhich lay before me in this mysterious unreal \nlife in which so many were struggling blindly, \nnot knowing why they strove. I remembered \nmy own distress, my own anxieties, desires and \nwish for enlightenment. They seemed so petty \nand trivial now compared with the great need I \nsaw, that I was loath to constrain my thoughts \nto any contemplation of personal interest. | \nwas no longer afraid of what truth might \nreveal. The light had already become so \ndear, so precious to me that come what might \nI would never let it go. Already it had shown \nme the great deficiencies, faults, and weak- \nnesses in myself, and the possibilities which \nought to have been cultivated. It had shown \n\n\n378 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nme what life is, and what it might become, \nand I knew that with the aid of this great \nholy light, all things might be made plain, \nall darkness made light, all secret things \ndiscovered. \n\nThe longing desire to help these blind ones \nbecame more intense, more irresistible, but they \ndid not see me, did not heed me, and I strove in \nvain to make myself understood. I reached \nout my hands but they passed by; I called \nout but they were intent on other things and \ndid not hear me. Then I became aware that \nto come within the ken of these spirits I too \nmust clothe myself with mist. It was a repug- \nnant thought, yet to help them I would do \nit. But how? This question formed itself and \nin a flash I recognised that this was the object \nof my search, and which had only been \npresent as a vague undefined longing. \n\nThe longing had brought me from a world \nof radiant light, where love and sympathy \nalone existed, had brought me to this dim \nshadowy world of unrealities to which the \nlight could scarcely penetrate. It was here \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 379 \n\n\nthe knowledge must be gained. I must learn \nhow to clothe myself with this mist, this ma- \nterial so immaterial, so vague; how to manip- \nulate and fashion it; how to take hold of and \ngrasp that which has no substance. It appeared \nimpossible, yet I saw that it had been done. \n\nA long time I searched for means to carry \nmy desire into execution; then some one came \nto my aid, and together we considered how \nthis thing was to be accomplished. In answer \nto my query how to hold together this imma- \nterial substance, he showed me how, by \nsweeping together masses of the cloudy mists, \nby breathing into it the life with which I was \nmyself endowed, forcing into it, by my will, \npart of my own desire and intensity of \npurpose it became animated with part of \nmyself, condensed, grew in form, as_ the \nshadowy misty beings around me, unconscious \nof my existence. It was my own creation, \nmy own special property, animated with my \nlife, held in existence by my will, obedient to \nmy wish or command, dependent on me for \neach moment of its being. Did the intensity \n\n\n380 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof my will relax, did my desire or interest \nwaver one iota, I knew this shadowy likeness \nof myself must return to the mist from which \nit came and cease to exist. \n\nYet to those children of the mist, this \ncreation of mine was real, tangible as them- \nselves, not wanting in life nor intelligence. \nIt was only / who was conscious of the fact \nthat it was only the shadow of the reality, want- \ning in many things which I was too in- \nexperienced to impart to it. Yet what possi- \nbilities might await on further experience, \nwith what properties, might I not endow this \nshadowy creation when I had dearned my \nown powers! Truly I had solved the mystery. \nYet only one part of it, some other way some \nother means had surely been used? \n\nNow with the help of my friend we \ntogether called into being, a weird shadow \nwhich was neither of us, only an unshapen, \nunformed thing, which we, with infinite pains, \ntried to fashion into shape; but our wills \nand sense of fitness of things did not accord, \nand the result was failure. The shadow we \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 381 \n\n\nhad together created from the mist was wan- \nting in many respects, and we endeavoured \nto fill up the deficiencies, to repair the faults, \nto make the shadow as the one previously, \u2014 \na counterpart of a living reality, \u2014 yet notwith- \nstanding our efforts, we failed and in spite of \nthe desire to call into shape a creature \nresembling the first, we could at. best only \nbuild up a miserable conterfeit which could \nnot be animated because of the conflicting \nwills of its creators. \n\nThis then was the mystery. And I felt \na sense of fiery shame and humiliation. I \nhad blamed my friend for failure which I had \nhelped to bring about. I had brought my \nwill into the work of creation and the ideas \ncrossed each other as the lines of two wet \ndrawings laid face to face become crossed, \nblotted, effaced, and unrecognisable. \n\nEnergy misdirected, ungoverned by reason \nand knowledge, must fail in achieving the \npurpose intended, and so it was with us. \n\nThe mystery was a mystery no longer, \nand I longed to express contrition for the \n\n\n382 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nunkindness I had felt for my friend; how sorry \nI was; how I wished to make amends, and \nhelp instead of blaming. I saw it was I who \nhad led the way into error by my will and \nwish to attain an end to which my strength \nwas not sufficient. \n\nAs I pondered on these things the sorrows \nand anxieties which had ruffled the even \ntenor of the dream-life came more home to \nme, and I remembered many half forgotten \njoys and sorrows, which had once been real- \nities, speculations as to another life, another \nexistence outside of the dream, and I felt an \namused pity for the ignorance of the dreamer, \nwho could mistake the dream-life for the \nglorious reality. \n\nNow that I had solved the problem it \nseemed my work was done. I knew now how \nI could approach these struggling benighted \nones, and I would help them with all my \nstrength. I would show them the light by \nwhich they would see the right road to \nknowledge. I would not weary with teaching, \nbut now I was free to leave this shadowy \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 383 - \n\n\nregion, free to once more breathe the bright \nlighted air I had left, to drink in the beauty \nof that other world and enjoy the inexpress- \nible love and affection which emanated from \nand actuated its people. \n\n\nI would come back to these people of \nthe mists, but first let me gather fresh strength \nand courage from those radiant beings whose: \nsmile had warmed and thrilled me with an \nextasy of love and veneration. Yet a strange \nsensation as of some great attraction kept me, \nand in vain I tried to shake myself free from \nits\u2019 influence. I wanted freedom, liberty; yet \nI was like a captive being drawn back to the \nprison from whence he had escaped. I knew \nthat, resist as I would, I must obey the power \nwhich was impelling me; so grasping with all \nmy strength the treasure I had found I \nobeyed, and sorrowfully, yet elate because of \nmy treasure, I found my former home in the \nshadow land. \n\n\nAs when I left, the walls appeared to \napproach and recede. I passed through as. \n\n\n384 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthrough a mist, and stood with the same \nsense of unreality, looking at the woman \nlying still, book in hand, either sleeping or \ndead. That this woman\u2019s form was the prison \nfrom which I had escaped I knew now, and \nthat I must again become captive. I knew \nthat I must submit; there was so much for \nme to do to show these poor struggling \nspirits that beyond the shadows there is a \nliving reality, absolute and perfect, that the \ntreasure I had grasped might also be theirs, \nto help them on the way to freedom. Only \nclothed in these misty garments, could | \napproach them and tell them these things; \nso I was content to return, and wait patiently \nfor the time of release, knowing my duty \nand glad to do it. \n\nThe same sense of pain, of faintness and \nweary depression, and again I was conscious \nof lying on my couch, book in hand. I \nopened my eyes; all about me was the same, \nnothing was changed; the flowers, the pictures, \nthe curtains were as they had always been; \nbut there was this great change, that I had \n\n\nTHE MYSTERY SOLVED. 385 \n\n\nwithal a sense of joy, rest and absolute \ncontent, such as I had never known before. \n\nHow long I had been away I have no \nknowledge, for in the world of reality I had \nvisited, time is not, nor space, nor anything \nby which to measure as on the earth. \n\nStrange how the shadow and the reality \nchange places. Had I not known better I \nshould have said that earthly scenes were \nthe realities and the world I had visited the \ndream-world. But the treasure I had found \nthere is still in my grasp. This one atom \nof the living truth has brought me that Peace \nwhich passeth all understanding, and by its \nclear light I see and know that spirit com- \nmunication is true; \u2018rae as that God lives. \n\nThey may say I dreamed, but it matters \nnot, for I know that it was no dream but a \nforetaste of life, real and indisputable; and \nthat during the remainder of my journey \nthrough the shadows it will help me to bear \nwith patience whatever may befall, and give \nme courage to fight to the end. \n\n\n25 \n\n\nCHAPTER XXVIL. \nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? \n\n\n\u201cAs thou knowest not what is the way of the \nspirit,... even so thou knowest not the works of God who \n\n\nmaketh all.\u201d Ecciesiastes, Ch, 11. v. 5. \n\n\nI wap not been long acquainted with the \nsubject of spiritualism when the question \narose as to the possibility of obtaining photos \nof the unseen \u2014 transcendental, occult, or \nspirit photographs, whatever we may call \nthem. I had not then realized how much I \nsuffered from s\u00e9ances or how great was the \ndrain upon the vitality caused by them. My \nhealth not being at any time very robust, it \ndid not occur to me that my weariness and \nutter exhaustion could be ascribed to some \nof those with whom I came in contact at the \ns\u00e9ances. My friends were continually proposing \n\n\nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 387 \n\n\nexperiments, which as a rule were quite as \ninteresting to me as to them, and amongst \nothers the idea of obtaining spirit photos \nincessantly cropped up. I was anxious that \nevery opportunity should be utilised but \nnot being a photographer myself there was \nno system or continued effort, in our experi- \nments in this direction, and we did not then \nunderstand how difficult it is to have various \nforms of mediumship equally developed at \none and the same time without overstraining \nthe nervous system. \n\nIn any case, although I tried for the \ndesired photos whenever I had the chance, it \nwas not until 1876 when in London that I \nsupposed I had been successful; and even \nthen I did not ascribe the result to my \nmediumship. \n\nMrs Burns who is herself a highly gifted \nsensitive went with me to the spirit photo- \ngrapher, Mr. Hudson. After being photograph- \ned, Mr. H. developed the plate and was \nquite elated with the success that had attended \nmy visit, as a very beautiful figure had come \n\n\n388 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\non the plate beside my photo. He hurried \ninto the room with the welcome news delight- \ned to show me the plate, when his foot \ncaught in the mat and the plate was dashed \nto pieces. \n\nShortly afterwards I visited Paris and \nBrussells. At the latter place I was photo- \ngraphed one forenoon no fewer than twenty \ntimes without obtaining the slightest symptom \nof what we were aiming at. \n\nI do not remember any more persistent \nefforts being made for a couple of years, \nalthough now and again we tried when an \nopportunity offered itself. Between 1878 and \n1880 various photographers attempted without \nbeing successful. \n\nIn 1880 when I went to Sweden I took \nwith me a camera and 288 plates, which I \nused, hoping that at sometime we should see \na glimpse of what we desired. I obtained \nassistance from a photographer, and went on \nwith the work more systematically than on \nany previous occasion, but my health was \nnot restored for nearly seven years after the \n\n\nOne of the first shadow forms. \n(Photographed 3 p. m. 8 Febr. 1897. \n\n\nTHE NEW YORK \nPUBLIC | IPRARY \n\n\nASIPR, (=NUXAND \nTILDEN FUN DATIONS \nR . L \n\n\nDigitized by Google \n\n\nSak Bie s \n\n\nShadow form photographed 3 p. m. 9 Febr. 1897. \n\n\nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 389 \n\n\nterrible shock from the s\u00e9ance in Newcastle \nin 1880, so that my mediumship for the \ntime being was almost nil. When the 24 \ndozen plates had been used the camera was \nneglected and ultimately damaged. \n\nIn 1888, 1889 and 1890 several attempts \nwere made, and one solitary photograph was \nquite unexpectedly obtained in the latter year \nat villa O. P. in Gothenburg as_ before \ndescribed, when I sat for Mr. Boutlerof to \nsee if the camera was properly focussed, and \nto test the magnesium light which had been \narranged. Mr. Aksakof, and some other of my \nfriends were discussing the subject of spirit \nphotos when Mr. Boutlerof interrupted the \nconversation by coming in and saying: \u2014 \n\n\u201cI have the camera focussed for the chair \nin the corner of the other room and I want \nyou Mrs. E,, to come and sit for me, so that \nI may try the light.\u201d \n\nThis was in the twilight of the evening just \nbefore lighting the lamps. We all rose from our \nseats and accompanied Mr. Boutlerof into the \nroom where the camera was standing. There was \n\n\n390 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nno order or arrangement as to where we should \nsit except that I was told to \u201ctake the chair \nin the corner.\u201d I did so and the magnesium \nlight was immediately flashed, when all present \nsaw the figure of a man standing behind me. \nThis form was not visible before or after the \nflash, and all were curious to see whether he \nhad made any impression on the plate. For- \ntunately his photo had been secured. \n\nAt intervals we tried in Gothenburg, Chris- \ntiania, Berlin and other places, but still without \nsuccess. \n\nIn 1896 I went to England and whilst \nthere obtained some, to me, doubtful mani- \nfestations of what were supposed to be spirit \nphotographs. For various reasons which I \nneed not now enter upon I did not feel able \nto accept them as genuine, although they \nmay have been so. . \n\nI thereupon decided to have another trial \non my return to Germany. I carried out \n\u2018my intention and obtained several cloudy, \nindistinct forms of invisible objects, but J \nbecame so extremely nervous that I had to \n\n\nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 391 \n\n\ngive up the photographing for two or three \nweeks. Then I tried again and obtained \nclearer figures of the unseen. Two or three \nwere excellent portraits of what appeared \nto be ordinary living human beings. Again \nmy nerves troubled me so much, that I dared \nnot venture to go down-stairs; in fact I scarcely \nhad courage to walk across the room, so \nthat the experiments had to cease. \n\nIn Januari 1897 I went to Gothenburg \nfor a couple of months intending to get the \nmanuscript of this book ready for the printer. \nMy friends bought a new camera and all \nthe necessary outfit for the purpose of a \nnew series of experiments in spirit photo- \ngraphy. On the 28th of January they had \nall in order for this new study. As they had \nnot previously given any attention to the \nsubject of photography they had much to learn. \nThe first three days were a kind of prelimi- \nnary experimental time, in order to get a \nlittle accustomed to the camera, focussing, \ndeveloping, printing, and so forth. \n\nOn the rst of February we began the \n\n\n392 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nwork systematically, but failures were all \nthat we had to report. We had, however, \ndecided to continue the work whatever the \nresult, provided my health did not give way \nor some other unsurmountable obstacle pre- \nsent itself. \n\n\nOn the 2nd of February when one of \nthe exposed plates had been developed, a very \nslight cloudy form was perceptible. We \nwere uncertain whether to attach any value \nto it as the precursor of something more \ndecided and clear. \n\n\nNext day there was a head on one of \nthe plates. The features and general outline \nreminded us of our old and dear friend Georgio \nwho had died several years ago. \n\n\nOn the 4th and 5th we got a slight \nindication of a form of some kind. On the \n6th all the plates exposed were failures, but \non the 7th there was perceptible a kind of \nmistiness like that of a head. \n\nOn: the 8th and oth two very distinct \ncloud-like forms of human beings appeared \n\n\nY-Ay-Ali photographed at 3 p. m. 12 Febr. 1897. \nLily F. sitter. \n\n\nDigitized ,Google \nCc \n\n\nASIOM. LESSON AND \nTILDEN FOUNDATIONS \nR L \n\n\nSpirit photo obtained 12 Febr. 1897. Supposed to be \nportrait of Yolande (the younger). \n\n\nSPIKIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 393 \n\n\non the plates. No features or clear outlines \nwere visible \u2014 the figures reminded one \nsomewhat of forms made of snow. These, \nhowever, were so distinct as to give us \nencouragement to continue. \n\nThe two following days, roth and 11th, \nall the plates exposed were failures. We then \nbegan to devise means of improving our \n\u2019 methods of work. We decided to try and \narrange the light for a shorter exposure, \nbecause some days, when the sky was over- \ncast or snow was falling, we had varied the \nexposure from 40 to 100 seconds. Some- \ntimes we had photographed in the morning \nand sometimes in the afternoon, but henceforth \nwe decided to begin punctually at three \no\u2019clock in the afternoon, no matter what the \nweather might be. Another important decision \nwas to use on dull days a magnesium flash \nlight so as to shorten the exposure.- \n\nHitherto the photographing had been con- \nducted in a corner sitting-room facing south \nand west. This we could not improve upon. \nWe had also used a dark brown screen as \n\n\n394 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\na background. This, too, we decided we \ncould not improve, unless we covered it with \nblack cloth so that any white form might be \nall the more visible. We were usually five \nin all who took part in the experiments, \nnamely my host, his wife, their two daugh- \nters and myself. When the clock struck three \nwe all entered the sitting-room. One of us \nplaced the screen in position, another looked \nafter the camera, whilst a third sat beside \nthe screen so as to get the right focus. \nAnother looked after the Venetian blinds and \narranged them to give the best light effect. \nWe all took turns in attending to the camera, \nand when we at last had got the magnesium \napparatus to work properly, we made all \nready and waited in silence 30 seconds, ex- \nposed the plate five seconds, and then flashed \nthe magnesium light. Sometimes we took \nthree or four and sometimes six or seven \nphotos. Immediately they were taken we \nwent into the dark room and developed them. \nWe had now worked about a fortnight and \nwere again beginning to seriously discuss \n\n\nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 395 \n\n\nother, and what might possibly be better, \nmodes of procedure. \n\nOn the 12th however we were rewarded \nwith two figures, the features of one being \nquite distinct. This gave us _ considerable \nencouragement. Next day all were failures \nagain. \n\nOn the 14th two faces were obtained. \nOne was supposed to bear some resemblance \nto my hosts mother. The other reminded us \nof Huss, or some one whose portrait we \nmight possibly have seen, but who apparently, \njudging from his dress, had lived in the \nmiddle ages. On the following Tuesday we \nwere surprised to find the daily newspapers \nhad articles describing the life work of Philip \nMelancthon who was born 16th Febr. 1497 \nand we then recognised the resemblance be- \ntween the photo we had obtained and the \nportrait of Melancthon. \n\nOn the 15th and 16th all were failures. \nThis we were not surprised at as I had \ncaught a severe cold after a hot bath. How- \never, we continued our experiments all the same. \n\n\n396 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nOn the 17th we exposed several plates \nas above described and obtained a beautiful \nform of the invisibles. It was however only \nupon developing the plates that we found \nhow far we had been successful. \n\nOn the 18th and roth slightly misty forms \nof two heads appeared. On the 20th we ob- \ntained the photo of a girl supposed to be \nour little Spanish friend Ninia who died in \nSantiago in South America. \n\nOn the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th and 27th \nwe every day obtained at least one or two \nphotos of the invisibles,.and, on three occa- \nsions, when strangers had sat beside the \nscr\u00e9en. On the 25th, 26th and 28th all were \nfailures. This for the present ended what \nwe termed the \u201cFebruary experiments.\u201d \n\nOn the first of March I went to Stock- \nholm to visit some of my friends there and \nwas away a week. When I returned on the \n8th I was very much exhausted with s\u00e9ances. \nHowever on the oth we began again and con- \ntinued every day up to the 15th, taking during \nthese seven days 30 photographs, of which seven \n\n\nPortrait obtained 3 p. m. 14 Febr. 1897. Supposed \nto be that of Philip Melancthon. \n\n\nYolande (the younger) photographed 4 p. m. \n15 March 1897. \n\n\nTHE NEW YORK \n\n\nSPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS? 397 \n\n\nwere successful. Next day, the 16th March, Mrs. \nand Miss F. and I left for Copenhagen. Dur- \ning these five weeks we had exposed in all \n132 plates of which 102 had been failures. \nI have had very serious doubts about \nthe advisability of giving any details of \nthese photographic experiments, seeing that \nthe work was purely tentative and we had \nnot exhausted what we considered was well \nwithin our reach. However, as the whole \nrecord of my mediumship is more or less a \nrecord of experiment, I see many objec- \ntions to closing this book in silence as to \nthis new phase of mediumship, although I object \nto giving the details of work which is so in- \ncomplete. The whole series of photos show \nthat we were purely in the experimental stage, \nbut our methods of work, and how after \nmany years of fruitless attempts and some \nhundreds of failures we at last began to be \nsuccessful, may be of interest to the psychical \nstudent and a sufficient reason for here \nrecording the little we have accomplished. \nIn all probability I could have obtained \n\n\n398 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nthese photos ten or twenty vears ago had \nI worked to obtain them alone, and left other \nforms of mediumship in abeyance. I have \nno doubt whatever but that the photos are \nproduced by spirit agency, but whether they \nare actual photos of spirits, or photos of \nwhat spirits have produced on the plates, I \nleave unsaid until I have had further oppor- \ntunities of investigating. \n\n] attach much importance to the work, \nand strange to say my health took no harm, \nbut actually improved. whilst the daily photo- \ngraphing was going on, so that I see in this \na possibility of a great work being performed \nif we are spared to do it. Mrs. F. took an \nintense interest in all the details and laboured \nearly and late at the printing, toning, and \nfixing of the photos, so that we all had a \nfull share of the work, and if there was any \nserious loss of vitality on my part the favor- \nable conditions enabled me to recuperate so \nquickly that the loss was imperceptible. \n\n\nPhoto supposed to be that of Ninia. Obtained 3 p. m. \n2oth Febr. 1897. \n\n\nPhoto obtained 3 p. m. 27th Febr. 1897. \n\n\nSupposed to be Elias ben Ammand of Nazareth who spent his. \nlife amongst the lepers in Palestine. \n\n\nCHAPTER XXVIIL \nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN. \n\n\n\u00a5 \u201cMen are enemies of that which they do not know.\u201d \n\n\nArabian Proverb. \n\n\n\u201cIf the bats refuse the society of the sun, does that \nprove that the sun is not brilliant?\u201d SAADI. \n\n\nh \n\n\nIN GLANCING over the work of experiment and \ninvestigation of the past quarter of a century, \nI can see into what errors one has unconsci- \nously fallen; errors of judgement in a great \nmeasure, but for the most part errors caused \nby a blameworthy ignorance of the simplest \nnatural laws. \n\nThe fact that if we could produce a cer- \ntain result we must supply materials possessing \nthe necessary qualifications, has been too \nmuch overlooked, or perhaps we have taken \nit too much for granted that those who \nprofessed an interest in the subject were able \n\n\n400 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto supply them. It is only after severe lessons, \nlearned by dint of much suffering, that the \nknowledge has been forced on us. It would \nbe as useless to supply a brickmaker with \nsand and water expecting him to make bricks, \nthat would stand the test of wear, as to form \na circle from the majority of so-called enquirers \nand expect the spirits to produce manifesta- \ntions that are beyond all doubt. Like the \nbrickmaker they do what they can with the \nmaterials at their disposal, and if the results \nare of questionable quality it is not their \nfault, but that of the persons who supplied \nthe material. \n\nMost persons turning, their attention to \nstudies of this nature, have presumably a \ncomfortable conviction that they are specially \nfitted for understanding and solving the \nproblems pertaining to them, and they conduct \ntheir investigation in various fashions. As \na rule their manner of investigation gives the \nclue to the nature of the material they place at \nthe disposal of the unseen workers. \n\nI have come in contact with several classes \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN. 401 \n\n\nof investigators, working with a view to \nestablishing some pet theory or other of their \nown. Those phenomena which would give \ncolor to, or fall in with, their preconceived \ntheories, are eagerly seized upon to the dis- \nregard of all others that have no such bear- \ning, or are contradictory to their ideas. These \ninvestigators are generally satisfied with theory, \ntheir imagination supplying all the rest. Hence \nthe origin of \u201cSpooks\u201d, \u201cShells\u201d, \u201cThought- \nforms,\u201d \u201cElementary Spirits\u201d and similar ab- \nsurdities. But even these abortive produc- \ntions, of a too superficial investigation are to \nbe preferred to the conclusions arrived at \nby another class of wise or scientific research- \ners, who begin their enquiry with the assump- \ntion that all persons except themselves are \ndishonest, all opinions except their own biased \nor without legitimate foundation, all observa- \ntion except their own unreliable, all recorded \nphenomena unfounded unless they have wit- \nnessed them; all phenomena obtained under \nother conditions than those laid down by \nthemselves unworthy of credence. \n26 \n\n\nSN \n\n\n402 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nTheir verdict shortly summed up amounts \nto this, \u201cWe have found fraud, consequently \nthere is no truth,\u201d or in other werds they \nmight say; \u201cOur minds can understand fraud \nbut are unable to comprehend truth, conse- \nquently it does not exist.\u201d Reasoning in the \nsame logical manner one might say, a false \ncoin is a_ sufficient evidence to prove that \nthere are no real ones. Other minds might \nargue: \u201cif there were no true coins there \nwould be no false ones,\u201d but not so these \nWise men. \n\nThere is another class, but I will do my \ncountry-men the justice of saying I have not \nfound any among them. These act on the \nprinciple of setting a thief to catch a thief. \nPretending the most fervent interest in spirit- \nualism, they make the acquaintance of persons \nhaving the reputation of being mediums, beg \nas for their very lives for the privilege of \nassisting at a s\u00e9ance for experiment, simulate \nthe warmest sympathy and friendliest feelings \ntowards the medium, and when finally they \nare permitted to join the circle, take with \n\n\n> \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN, 403 \n\n\nthem a camera or a member of the secret \npolice to assist in unmasking the deception \nthey believe to be practised. \n\nAn investigator of this class urged on \nby the clergy does not disdain to spy \non a medium\u2019s privacy through holes which \nhe has bored in the door or wall of his room. \nOr after cordially inviting a medium to pay \na friendly visit to his home, he obtains false \nkeys or picks the lock of the medium\u2019s \ntrunk in order to examine its contents. He \nwill induce a medium, by dint of promises \nand persuasion, to give a s\u00e9ance to a few \nintimate friends, and then has him or her \n\u2014 frequently the latter \u2014 stripped to the \nskin to satisfy himself that he or she does \nnot carry on their persons, the means where- \nwith to deceive the innocent and unsuspect- \ning (?) investigator. When he is satisfied on \nthis point he ties the medium up with ropes, \nfastens him with screws or bolts to the wall \nor floor, and then awaits with complacent \n\n\n. self-satisfaction spiritual manifestations. \n\n\nMy blood boils within me when I hear \n\n\n~~ \n\n\n404 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nof sensitive mediums. frequently young girls \nor ladies, being subjected to the indignities \nand insults of these-\u201cinvestigators,\u201d who on \nthe first intimation of something which to \ntheir limited understanding appears suspicious, \nare eager to denounce the unfortunate culprit \nand spread the damning news abroad, gleefully \nboasting of their skill as detectives. Knowing \nwhat I know \u2014 and that is little enough \u2014 \nof the conditions necessary for successful \nmanifestations, I cannot but wonder greatly \nthat success ever attends on such experiments. \nWhen the material supplied by the investi- \ngators is chiefly made up of suspicion, in- \ntrigue, and doubt, supplemented in most cases \nby the noxious fumes of alcohol and nicotine, \nwhat wonder that the results produced are \nsuch as bring disgrace and shame on the \nname of the truths they profess to advocate, \nand ruin to the medium, who is the victim \non whom the onus of the scandal is laid? \n\nI have heard it said that there are but \n|] few good mediums left to work for the cause. \n\u2018I am not surprised. They have suffered so \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS 1 HAVE KNOWN, 405 \n\n\nmuch at the hands of ignorant investigators, \nwho pride themselves on their special quali- \nfications as enquirers, that they have with- \ndrawn from the work heartsick and dis- \ncouraged, weary to death of even the very \nname of the truths for which they have given \nthe best they had, \u2014 time, health, reputation. \n\nBut thank God there is a brighter side. \nThere are some good men and true, men on \nwhom the scientific and detective investigator \nlooks with contemptuous pity; men honest in \nthemselves, their thoughts, and actions, who \nwill not degrade either themselves or their \nneighbour by harbouring a doubt of his \nhonesty, who prefer to believe every man \ninnocent of evil till he is proved guilty. The \ninnate perception of the mysterious power \nthat rules the universe gives such a man, in \nthis enquiry, a point of observation which \nothers could not, by aid of all the earthly \nsciences, ever hope to attain. 7/ey may come \nto delieve in a spiritual existence; Ze knows it. \n\nHe may not be learned in the classics, \nhe may not know Greek from Latin, but \n\n\n406 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\n- compared with them he is as a skylark to \n\n\na mole. While these whose interests are of \nthe earthly pursue their occupation of pul- \nverising and throwing up little mounds of the \nsoil in which they find their sustenance, blind \nto everything on the earth above them, the \nbird though making his home low down \non its surface can mount on light wings into \nthe world of air and sunshine, with his joyful \nsong of praise. Of him and such as he were \nthe words spoken: \u201cThe pure in heart shall \nsee God;\u201d for so it is, that only they who \nhave clean minds, clean bodies, and a sincere \ndesire for light will find the truth. The man \nwhose spirit is held in the bondage of his \nappetite, who clouds his brain and destroys \n\n\n. his nerves by the poison of nicotine, or \n\n\nunduly excites them by the incense of wine, \nis no fit candidate for communion with those \npassed on to the world of spirit. Nor is he, \nwho is urged on merely by the desire to \nsubstantiate some pet idea or vague dream, \nto establish a theory, or to aggrandize his \nreputation as a man of learning, or as a dis- \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN. 407 \n\n\ncoverer, any better fitted for the work. Unless \na purer and better motive than these leads \nhim on, let him not embark on the quest for \nhe will fail. And he who seeks only to dis- \ncover deceit in others, thereby betraying \nthe falseness in himself, will find that which \nhe seeks \u2014 falsehood; the truth he will never \ndiscover. \n\nBut to you, who are weary of life, its \nnever ending toils, its pains, its sorrow, to \nyou whose heart craves for certainty, to you \nwhose dear ones have passed away leaving \nyou despairing and heartsick, to you who \nhunger and thirst for proofs of a life beyond; \nto you I say, clean your minds from prejudice, \nyour brain from poison, your bodies from \nimpurities of disease wrought by the indul- \ngence of the appetite, and set out on the \nsearch, for be assured you will find what \nyou seek. The ground whereon you would \ntread is Holy; profane it not with feet soiled \nwith the mire of suspicion, nor regard the \ninstrument by which you must approach it \nas unworthy of trust. Come, honestly desiring \n\n\n408 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nto learn, not of the faults, failings, and short- \ncomings of others, but humbly seeking the \ntruth, and you will not seek in vain; but \nif it be not sought with prayerful minds and \nearnest desire for help and enlightenment \nthen do not waste time on the search. \n\n\u201cWhere two or three are gathered to- \ngether in my name, there am I in their \nmidst\u201d said the Great Teacher. Even so in \nthese matters. Where all are met together, \nhaving duly fitted themselves for the work, \nwhere no element of suspicion is introduced, \n\nbs where medium and circle are seated in the \npresence of each other, animated by the same \ndesire for truth; there will the manifestations \nbe purer and better than in the old days of \ncabinets, cages, bonds and tests, that defeated \ntheir own purpose. \n\nI have devoted much space to the mis- \nunderstandings, mishaps, failures, and the \nresulting sickness and misery attending many \nof the investigations. My object in giving \nthese dark shades of the picture, when I had \nmany brighter episodes to select from, is \n\n\n~~ \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN. 409 \n\n\nbecause I think there are more valuable \nlessons taught by these failures than the most \nbrilliant successes. \n\nThere is only one more serious misfortune, \nat least very serious to me, which stands \nprominently forward and to which I have not \nreferred. This occurred in 1893 in Helsing- \nfors and caused my hair to turn white and \ngrey during nearly two years of indisposition, \n\n\n_when it all came out and with returning \n\n\nhealth grew again quite dark as it was \nbefore the accident. A full description of \nthis remarkable s\u00e9ance may be had from \nOswald Mutze, Leipzig, entitled \u201cEin seltsames \nund belehrendes Phanomen im Gebiete der \nMaterialisation von Alexander N. Aksakow.\u201d \n(A remarkable and instructive phenomenon \nin materialisation.) This has also been trans- \nlated into French and can be had from \nP.G. Leymarie, Rue du Sommerard 12, Paris. \n\nI have tried to take you my readers into \nmy confidence and give you the result of \nmy investigation of this strange subject. I \nhave told you candidly my troubles during \n\n\n410 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nmy childhood and youth as to the mysterious \nappearance of the \u201cshadow-people\u201d and how \nthe mists of doubt were dispersed when I \nthought I understood what they were. \n\nThen came our various experiments and \nthe terrible troubles that followed some of \nthem, so serious indeed that on three occa- \nsions my life seemed to hang as on a thread. \n\nI have told you what in most cases others \nhave written or published as to the phenom- \n\nena, so that I do not lay claim to the state- \n\" ments as being entirely my own. I have used \nthem in hopes that my experiences may be \nall the more easily understood, that my doubts \nand difficulties whilst treading new paths may \nbe comprehended and appreciated. \n\nI have tried to give you, as it were, an \ninsight into my thoughts, feelings and sensa- \ntions at the time; if I could have left out a \ndescription of the phenomena it is possible \nI would have done so, but without some \nrecord of them my doubts and perplexities \nwould have been incomprehensible. \n\nMuch \u2014 perhaps too much \u2014 has been \n\n\n\u00ab \nNM \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN, * 41! \n\n\nalready written of these things and they may \nin consequence have fallen into disrepute. My \nobject has not been so much to record \nphenomena as to use them to shew what in \nmy case, \u2014 in my search for truth \u2014 has \nresulted from them. \n\nI have used the word \u201cmedium\u201d in the \npopular sense as ordinarily understood. This \nI have done in order that you might all the \neasier follow me. Now I come to the point \nwhere I wish to disclaim the right to that \ntitle. If you, my reader, have carefully followed \nme I think you will have come to the same \nconclusion as I have done on this point. \n\nSeeing that the manifestations in all cases \nwere in accordance with what the sitters were, \nit is I think self-evident that the latter were the \nmedium and I only a part. \n\nWhen the circle was composed of chil- \ndren the phenomena were of a childish char- \nacter. When scientists were present the \nmanifestations were of a scientific description. \nWhen ultimately I threw aside the old idea \nof mediums and mediumship, and determined \n\n\n412 SHADOW LAND \n\n\nto be no longer isolated from the rest and \ndeprived of the use of one of my senses, I \nconsider I took the place I ought to have \noccupied from the first. Even in the taking \nof the photographs we incessantly changed \nplaces, and had no cabinet or separate medium. \nWe were all the medium. \n\nIn a circle of, say twenty, it is utterly \nabsurd to credit one with the manifestations \nthat are the product of other nineteen. When \nthe phenomena depend on twenty why should \none of the number be praised or blamed for \nwhat is produced through the whole of them? \n\nSo long as one of the circle was isolated \nfrom the rest, it was more or less assumed \nthat the one thus set apart was responsible \nfor what took place and the others were there \nto look on and crniticise. \n\nIn any case what I wish most emphatic- \nally to disclaim is that I have been the \n\u201cmedium\u201d when eleven or nineteen other per- \nsons were present. It may be right to credit me \nwith a twelfth or twentieth part but not more \nunless some of the others were unsuitable \n\n\nINVESTIGATORS I HAVE KNOWN. 413 \n\n\nand a greater share of the responsibility \nthereby fell on one or more of the other \nmembers of the circle. \n\nIf these conclusions \u2014 the result of many \nyears work and bitter experience \u2014 are \naccepted and followed by investigators and \ncircle-holders in the future, then it is well \nthat we have tried different methods and \nfound which were faulty. I do not however \nthink we have yet found or tried the best method \nof pursuing this investigation. Others who take \nup the work where I have laid it down may \nfind safer and better roads than I have trodden. \nThere is so much to learn, so much to un- \nderstand. Even at the best we but \u201cSee \nthrough a glass darkly\u201d and grope our way \nin the darkness. Still, steering our course by \nthe light which shines fitfully through the \nshadows we may yet reach that fuller light \nin which \u201cWe may know even as we also \nare known.\u201d \n\nNow my task is done. They who come \nafter me may perchance suffer as I have \nsuffered, through ignorance of God\u2019s laws. \n\n\n414 SHADOW LAND. \n\n\nYet the world is wiser than it was, and it \nmay be that they who take up the work in \nthe next generation will not have to fight, \nas I did, the narrow bigotry and harsh judge- \nments of the \u201cunco\u2019 guid.\u201d Still I will not \nwish them too smooth a road, for it seems \nto me that, looking backward, I find the \ntroubles that have attended my search \u2014 \nand they have been many \u2014 sink into in- \nsignificance. Nor do I regret them. They \nhave been the monitors warning me that I \nhad wandered from the right road, and though \nI knew it not, at the time, were my best \nfriends. Now at last I have found what I \nhave been seeking through these long years; \nyears of hard work interspersed with sunshine \nand storms, with pleasure and pain; now I \ncan cry. aloud in jubilant voice to all who \nwill hear: \u201cI have found the truth \u2014 and \nthe same great prize may be yours too, \nif you will seek it honestly, earnestly, humbly, \ndiligently.\u201d \n\n\nTHE END. \n\n\nPRINTED BY \nD. F, BONNIERS BOKTRYCKERI AKTIEBOLAG \nGOTHENBURG 1897.","title":"Shadow Land, or, Light from the Other Side","tradition":"Spiritualism & Psychical Research","translated_text":null,"word_count":76836}