{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_20379/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_20379","id":"gutenberg_20379","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/20379","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Biographies","Category: Religion/Spirituality","Orphanages -- Great Britain","Prayer"],"text":"Produced by the Bookworm (bookworm.librivox AT gmail.com)\n\n\n\n\n\nA NARRATIVE OF SOME OF THE LORD'S DEALINGS WITH GEORGE MUeLLER\n\nWRITTEN BY HIMSELF\n\nFIRST PART\n\nNINTH EDITION\n\nJ. NISBET & CO., BERNERS STREET, LONDON.\n\nTO BE ALSO HAD IN BRISTOL,\n\nAT THE BIBLE AND TRACT WAREHOUSE OF THE SCRIPTURAL KNOWLEDGE\nINSTITUTION FOR HOME AND ABROAD, No. 78 PARK STREET, AND THROUGH\nALL BOOKSELLERS.\n\n1865\n\n\n[Entered at Stationers' Hall.]\n\nLONDON:\nDRYDEN PRESS: J. DAVY AND SONS, 137, LONG ACRE.\n\n\nPREFACE\n\nTO THE\n\nFIRST EDITION OF THE FIRST PART.\n\nIt was only after the consideration of many months, and after much\nself-examination as to my motives, and after much earnest\nprayer, that I came to the conclusion to write this little\nwork. I have not taken one single step in the Lord's service,\nconcerning which I have prayed so much. My great dislike\nto increasing the number of religious books would, in\nitself, have been sufficient to have kept me for ever from it, had I not\ncherished the hope of being instrumental in this way to lead some of my\nbrethren to value the Holy Scriptures more, and to judge by the standard\nof the word of God the principles on which they act. But that which\nweighed more with me than any thing was, that I have reason to believe\nfrom what I have seen among the children of God, that many of their trials\narise, either from want of confidence in the Lord as it regards temporal\nthings, or from carrying on their business in an unscriptural way. On\naccount, therefore, of the remarkable way in which the Lord has dealt with\nme in temporal things, within the last ten years, I feel that I am a\ndebtor to the Church of Christ, and that I ought, for the benefit of my\npoorer brethren especially, to make known, as much as I can, the way in\nwhich I have been led. In addition to this, I know it to be a fact, that\nto many souls the Lord has blessed what I have told them about the way in\nwhich He has led me, and therefore it seemed to me a duty to use such\nmeans, whereby others also, with whom I could not possibly converse, might\nbe benefited. That which at last, on May 6, 1836, induced me finally to\ndetermine to write this Narrative was, that, if the Lord should permit the\nbook to sell, I might, by the profits arising from the sale, be enabled in\na greater degree to help the poor brethren and sisters among whom I\nlabour, a matter which just at that time weighed much on my mind. I\ntherefore at last began to write. But after three days I was obliged to\nlay the work again aside, on account of my other pressing engagements. On\nMay 15th I was laid aside on account of an abscess and now being unable,\nfor many weeks, to walk about as usual, though able to work at home, I had\ntime for writing. When the manuscript was nearly completed, I gave it to a\nbrother to look it over, that I might have his judgment; and the Lord so\nrefreshed his spirit through it, that he offered to advance the means for\nhaving it printed, with the understanding that if the book should not\nsell, he would never consider me his debtor. By this offer not a small\nobstacle was removed, as I have no means of my own to defray the expense\nof printing. These two last circumstances, connected with many other\npoints, confirmed me that I had not been mistaken, when I came to the\nconclusion that it was the will of God, that I should serve His church in\nthis way.\n\nThe fact of my being a foreigner, and therefore but very imperfectly\nacquainted with the English language, I judged to be no sufficient reason\nfor keeping me from writing. The Christian reader being acquainted with\nthis fact, will candidly excuse any inaccuracy of expression.\n\nFor the poor among the brethren this Narrative is especially intended,\nand to their prayers I commend it in particular.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, July 5, 1837.\n\n\n\nEXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION OF THE FIRST\nPART\n\nAs to this second edition I would mention, that, while in substance\nit is the same as the first, yet, on account of my increased\nacquaintance with the English language, many verbal alterations\nhave been made; also several alterations have been made on account\nof the increased light which the Lord has been pleased to grant\nme since July, 1937; a few paragraphs have been entirely left out,\nand a few new paragraphs have been added.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, October 28, 1840.\n\n\n\nEXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION OF THE FIRST PART\n\nAs the second edition of four thousand copies is exhausted, and\nas the Lord condescends to bless this Narrative more and more,\nboth to believers and unbelievers, it has appeared to me a debt\nwhich I owe to the church of God to publish this third edition.\nSeveral new paragraphs of considerable length have been\nintroduced.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, June 17, 1845.\n\n\n\nPREFACE TO THE EIGHTH EDITION OF THE FIRST PART\n\nThe Seventh edition of eight thousand copies is also exhausted,\nand the Lord condescends to bless yet more and more this Narrative,\nboth to the the conversion of unbelievers, and to the edification of\nHis own children. On this account I feel it my duty, as well as my\nprivilege, to send forth this new edition, in which scarcely any\nalterations have been made.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, December, 1881.\n\n\n\nPREFACE TO THE NINTH EDITION\n\nThe reason which led me to the publication of the Eighth edition\nof this Narrative, has influenced me also to publish this Ninth\nedition.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, March, 1895.\n\n\n\nA\n\nNARRATIVE,\n\n&c. &c.\n\nI was born at Kroppenstaedt, near Halberstadt, in the kingdom of Prussia,\non September 27th, 1805. In January 1810 my parents removed to\nHeimersleben, about four miles from Kroppenstaedt, where my father was\nappointed collector in the excise. As a warning to parents I mention, that\nmy father preferred me to my brother, which was very injurious to both of\nus. To me, as tending to produce in my mind a feeling of self-elevation;\nand to my brother, by creating in him a dislike both towards my father and\nme.\n\nMy father, who educated his children on worldly principles, gave us much\nmoney, considering our age; not in order that we might spend it, but, as\nhe said, to accustom us to possess money without spending it. The result\nwas, that it led me and my brother into many sins. For I repeatedly spent\na part of the money in a childish way, and afterwards, when my father\nlooked over my little treasure, I sought to deceive him in making up the\naccounts, either by not putting down all the money which he had given me,\nor by professing to have more money in hand than was the case, and\ncounting it out accordingly before him. Now, though this deceit was found\nout at last, and I was punished, yet I remained the same. For before I was\nten years old I repeatedly took of the government money which was\nintrusted to my father, and which he had to make up; till one day, as he\nhad repeatedly missed money, he detected my theft, by depositing a counted\nsum in the room where I was, and leaving me to myself for a while. Being\nthus left alone, I took some of the money, and hid it under my foot in my\nshoe. When my father, after his return, had counted and missed the money,\nI was searched and my theft detected.\n\nThough I was punished on this and other occasions, yet I do not remember\nthat at any time, when my sins were found out, it made any other\nimpression upon me than to make me think how I might do the thing the next\ntime more cleverly, so as not to be detected. Hence it came, that this was\nnot the last time that I was guilty of stealing.\n\nWhen I was between ten and eleven years of age, I was sent to\nHalberstadt, to the cathedral classical school, there to be prepared for\nthe university; for my father's desire was, that I should become a\nclergyman: not, indeed, that thus I might serve God, but that I might have\na comfortable living. My time was now spent in studying, reading novels,\nand indulging, though so young, in sinful practices. Thus it continued\ntill I was fourteen years old, when my mother was suddenly removed. The\nnight she was dying, I, not knowing of her illness, was playing at cards\ntill two in the morning, and on the next day, being the Lord's day, I went\nwith some of my companions in sin to a tavern, and then we went about the\nstreets, half intoxicated.\n\nThe following day I attended, for the first time, the religious\ninstruction, which I was to receive previous to my confirmation. This\nlikewise was attended to in a careless manner; and when I returned to my\nlodgings, my father had arrived to fetch my brother and me home to our\nmother's funeral. This bereavement made no lasting impression on my mind.\nI grew worse and worse. Three or four days before I was confirmed, (and\nthus admitted to partake of the Lord's supper,) I was guilty of gross\nimmorality; and the very day before my confirmation, when I was in the\nvestry with the clergyman to confess my sins, (according to the usual\npractice,) after a formal manner, I defrauded him; for I handed over to\nhim only the twelfth part of the fee which my father had given me for him.\n\nIn this state of heart, without prayer, without true repentance, without\nfaith, without knowledge of the plan of salvation, I was confirmed, and\ntook the Lord's supper, on the Sunday after Easter 1820. Yet I was not\nwithout some feeling about the solemnity of the thing, and I stayed at\nhome in the afternoon and evening, whilst the other boys and girls, who\nhad been confirmed with me, walked about in the fields I also made\nresolutions to turn from those vices in which I was living, and to study\nmore. But as I had no regard to God, and attempted the thing in my own\nstrength, all soon came to nothing, and I still grew worse.\n\nSix weeks after my confirmation I went for a fortnight to Brunswick, to a\nsister of my father, where I became attached to a young female, who was a\nRoman catholic. My time till Midsummer 1821 was spent partly in study, but\nin a great degree in playing the piano-forte and guitar, reading novels,\nfrequenting taverns, forming resolutions to become different, yet breaking\nthem almost as fast as they were made. My money was often spent on my\nsinful pleasures, through which I was now and then brought into trouble,\nso that once, to satisfy my hunger, I stole a piece of coarse bread, the\nallowance of a soldier who was quartered in the house where I lodged. What\na bitter, bitter thing is the service of Satan, even in this world!!\n\nAt Midsummer 1821 my father obtained an appointment at Schoenebeck, near\nMagdeburg, and I embraced the opportunity of entreating him to remove me\nto the cathedral classical school of Magdeburg; for I thought, that, if I\ncould but leave my companions in sin, and get out, of certain snares, and\nbe placed under other tutors, I should then live a different life. But as\nmy dependence in this matter also was not upon God, I fell into a still\nworse state. My father consented, and I was allowed to leave Halberstadt,\nand to stay at Heimersleben till Michaelmas. During that time I\nsuperintended, according to my father's wish, certain alterations, which\nwere to be made in his house there, for the sake of letting it profitably.\nBeing thus quite my own master, I grew still more idle, and lived as much\nas before in all sorts of sin.\n\nWhen Michaelmas came, I persuaded my father to leave me at Heimersleben\ntill Easter, and to let me read the classics with a clergyman living in\nthe same place. As Dr. Nagel was a very learned man, and also in the habit\nof having pupils under his care, and a friend of my father, my request was\ngranted. I was now living on the premises belonging to my father, under\nlittle real control, and intrusted with a considerable sum of money, which\nI had to collect for my father, from persons who owed it to him. My habits\nsoon led me to spend a considerable part of this money, giving receipts\nfor different sums, yet leaving my father to suppose I had not received\nthem.\n\nIn November I went on a pleasure excursion to Magdeburg, where I spent\nsix days in much sin; and though my absence from home had been found out\nby my father, before I returned from thence; yet I took all the money I\ncould obtain, and went to Brunswick, after I had, through a number of\nlies, obtained permission from my tutor. The reason of my going to\nBrunswick was, the attachment I had formed eighteen months previously to\nthe young female residing there. I spent a week at Brunswick, in an\nexpensive hotel. At the end of the week my money was expended. This, as\nwell as the want of a passport, prevented my staying any longer in the\nhotel; but as I still wished to remain at Brunswick, I went to my uncle,\nthe husband of my father's sister, and made some excuse for not having\ngone to him in the first instance. My uncle, seeing I suppose my unsteady\nlife, intimated after a week, that he did not wish me to remain with him\nany longer.\n\nI then went, without money, to another hotel, in a village near\nBrunswick, where I spent another week in an expensive way of living. At\nlast, the owner of the hotel suspecting that I had no money, asked for\npayment, and I was obliged to leave my best clothes as a security, and\ncould scarcely thus escape from being arrested. I then walked about six\nmiles, to Wolfenbuttel, went to an inn, and began again to live as if I\nhad plenty of money. Here I stayed two days, looking out for an\nopportunity to run away; for I had now nothing remaining to leave as a\npledge. But the window of my room was too high to allow of my escaping, by\ngetting down at night. On the second or third morning I went quietly out\nof the yard, and then ran off; but being suspected and observed, and\ntherefore seen to go off, I was immediately called after, and so had to\nreturn.\n\nI now confessed my case, but found no mercy. I was arrested, and taken\nbetween two soldiers to a police officer. Being suspected by him to be a\nvagabond or thief, I was examined for about three hours, and then sent to\ngaol. I now found myself at the age of sixteen, an inmate of the same\ndwelling with thieves and murderers, and treated accordingly. My superior\nmanners profited nothing. For though, as a particular favour, I received\nthe first evening some meat with my bread, I had the next day the common\nallowance of the prisoners,--very coarse bread and water, and for dinner\nvegetables, but no meat. My situation was most wretched. I was locked up\nin this place day and night, without permission to leave my cell. The\ndinner was such that on the first day I completely loathed it; and left it\nuntouched. The second day I took a little, the third day all, and the\nfourth and following days I would fain have had more. On the second day I\nasked the keeper for a Bible, not to consider its blessed contents, but to\npass away the time. However, I received none. Here then I was; no creature\nwith me; no book, no work in my hands, and large iron rails before my\nnarrow window.\n\nDuring the second night I was awakened out of my sleep by the rattling of\nthe bolts and keys. Three men came into my room. When I asked them in my\nfright what it meant, they laughed at me, continuing quietly to try the\niron rails, to see whether I could escape.--After a few days I found out,\nthat a thief was imprisoned next to me, and, as far as a thick wooden\npartition would allow of it, I conversed with him; and shortly after the\ngovernor of the prison allowed him, as a favour to me, to share my cell.\nWe now passed away our time in relating our adventures, and I was by this\ntime so wicked, that I was not satisfied with relating things of which I\nhad been really guilty, but I even invented stories, to show him what a\nfamous fellow I was.\n\nI waited in vain day after day to be liberated.--After about ten or twelve\ndays my fellow prisoner and I disagreed, and thus we two wretched beings,\nto increase our wretchedness, spent day after day without conversing\ntogether.--I was in prison from December 18th, 1821, till January 12th,\n1822, when the keeper came and told me to go with him to the police\noffice. Here I found, that the Commissioner, before whom I had been tried,\nhad first written to my uncle at Brunswick, and when he had written in\nreply, that it was better to acquaint my father with my conduct, the\nCommissioner had done so; and thus I was kept in prison till my father\nsent the money which was needed for my traveling expenses, to pay my debt\nin the inn, and for my maintenance in the prison. So ungrateful was I now,\nfor certain little kindnesses shown to me by my fellow-prisoner, that,\nalthough I had promised to call on his sister, to deliver a message from\nhim, I omitted to do so; and so little had I been benefited by this my\nchastisement, that, though I was going home to meet an angry father, only\ntwo hours after I had left the town where I had been imprisoned, I chose\nan avowedly wicked person as my traveling companion for a great part of my\njourney.\n\nMy father, who arrived two days after I had reached Heimersleben, after\nhaving severely beaten me, took me home to Schoenebeck, intending to keep\nme there till Easter, and then to send me to a classical school at Halle,\nthat I might be under strict discipline and the continual inspection of a\ntutor. In the meantime I took pupils, whom I instructed in Latin, French,\narithmetic, and German Grammar. I now endeavoured, by diligence in study,\nto regain the favour of my father. My habits were, as to outward\nappearance, exemplary. I made progress in my own studies, benefited my\npupils, and was soon liked by every body around me, and in a short time my\nfather had forgotten all. But all this time I was in heart as bad as ever;\nfor I was still in secret habitually guilty of great sins.\n\nEaster came, and on account of my good behaviour, my diligence in study,\nand also because I was no expense to my father, but earned much more than\nI cost him, I easily persuaded him to let me stay at home till Michaelmas.\nBut after that period he would not consent to my remaining any longer with\nhim, and therefore I left home, pretending to go to Halle to be examined.\nBut having a hearty dislike to the strict discipline of which I had heard,\nand knowing also that I should meet there young men attending the\nuniversity with whom I was acquainted, enjoying all the liberty of German\nstudents, whilst I myself was still at school: for these and other reasons\nI went to Nordhausen, and had myself examined by the director of the\ngymnasium, to be received into that school. I then went home, but never\ntold my father a word of all this deception, till the day before my\ndeparture, which obliged me to invent a whole chain of lies. He was then\nvery angry; but at last, through my entreaties and persuasion, he gave way\nand allowed me to go. This was in the beginning of October, 1822.\n\nI continued at Nordhausen two years and six months, till Easter, 1825.\nDuring this time I studied with considerable diligence the Latin classics,\nFrench, history, my own language, &c.; but did little in Hebrew, Greek,\nand the Mathematics. I lived in the house of the director, and got,\nthrough my conduct, highly into his favour, so much so, that I was held up\nby him in the first class as an example to the rest, and he used to take\nme regularly with him in his walks, to converse with me in Latin. I used\nnow to rise regularly at four, winter and summer, and generally studied\nall the day, with little exception, till ten at night.\n\nBut whilst I was thus outwardly gaining the esteem of my fellow-creatures,\nI did not care in the least about God, but lived secretly in\nmuch sin, in consequence of which I was taken ill, and for thirteen weeks\nconfined to my room. During my illness I had no real sorrow of heart, yet\nbeing under certain natural impressions of religion, I read through\nKlopstock's works without weariness. I cared nothing about the word of\nGod. I had about three hundred books of my own, but no Bible. I\npractically set a far higher value upon the writings of Horace and Cicero,\nVoltaire and Moliere, than upon the volume of inspiration. Now and then I\nfelt that I ought to become a different person, and I tried to amend my\nconduct, particularly when I went to the Lord's supper, as I used to do\ntwice every year, with the other young men. The day previous to attending\nthat ordinance, I used to refrain from certain things; and on the day\nitself I was serious, and also swore once or twice to God, with the emblem\nof the broken body in my mouth, to become better, thinking that for the\noath's sake I should be induced to reform. But after one or two days were\nover, all was forgotten, and I was as bad as before.\n\nI had now grown so wicked, that I could habitually tell lies without\nblushing. And further, to show how fearfully wicked I was, I will mention,\nout of many others, only one great sin, of which I was guilty, before I\nleft this place. Through my dissipated life I had contracted debts, which\nI had no means of discharging; for my father could allow me only about as\nmuch as I needed for my regular maintenance. One day, after having\nreceived a sum of money from him, and having purposely shown it to some of\nmy companions, I afterwards feigned that it was stolen, having myself by\nforce injured the lock of my trunk, and having also designedly forced open\nmy guitar case. I also feigned myself greatly frightened at what had\nhappened, ran into the director's room with my coat off, and told him that\nmy money was stolen. I was greatly pitied. Some friends also gave me now\nas much money as I pretended to have lost, and the circumstance afforded\nme a ground upon which to ask my creditors to wait longer. But this matter\nturned out bitterly; for the director, having ground to suspect me, though\nhe could not prove anything, never fully restored me to his confidence.\n\nAs it regards my own feeling, though I was very wicked, yet this\ndesperate act of depravity was too much, even for my hardened conscience;\nfor it never afterwards allowed me to feel easy in the presence of the\ndirector's wife, who, like a kind mother, had waited on me in my illness,\nand on whom I had now so willfully brought trouble. How long-suffering was\nGod at this time, not to destroy me at once! And how merciful that he did\nnot suffer me to be tried before the police, who easily would have\ndetected that the whole was a fabrication! I was heartily glad for many\nreasons, but particularly on account of this latter circumstance, to be\nable soon after to exchange the school for the university.\n\nI had now obtained what I had fondly looked forward to. I became a member\nof the university, and that with very honourable testimonials. I had thus\nobtained permission to preach in the Lutheran Establishment, but I was as\ntruly unhappy, and as far from God as ever. I had made strong resolutions,\nnow at last, to change my course of life, for two reasons: first, because,\nwithout it, I thought no parish would choose me as their pastor; and\nsecondly, that without a considerable knowledge of divinity I should never\nget a good living, as the obtaining of a valuable cure, in Prussia,\ngenerally depends upon the degree which the candidates of the ministry\nobtain in passing the examination. But the moment I entered Halle, the\nuniversity town, all my resolutions came to nothing.--Being now more than\never my own master, and without any control as long as I did not fight a\nduel, molest the people in the streets, &c., I renewed my profligate life\nafresh, though now a student of divinity. When my money was spent, I\npawned my watch and a part of my linen and clothes, or borrowed in other\nways. Yet in the midst of it all I had a desire to renounce this wretched\nlife, for I had no enjoyment in it, and had sense enough left to see, that\nthe end one day or other would be miserable; for I should never get a\nliving. But I had no sorrow of heart on account of offending God.\n\nOne day when I was in a tavern with some of my wild fellow-students, I\nsaw among them one of my former school-fellows, named Beta, whom I had\nknown four years before at Halberstadt, but whom at that time had\ndespised, because he was so quiet and serious. It now appeared well to me\nto choose him as my friend, thinking that if I could but have better\ncompanions, I should by that means improve my own conduct. I entered into\nfamiliar discourse with him, and we were soon much knit to one another.\n\"Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm.\"\nJeremiah xvii. 5.\n\nThis Beta was a backslider. When formerly he was so quiet at school, I\nhave reason to believe it was because the Spirit of God was working on his\nheart; but now, having departed from the Lord, he tried to put off the\nways of God more and more, and to enjoy the world of which he had known\nbut little before. I sought his friendship because I thought it would lead\nme to a steady life; and he gladly formed an acquaintance with me, as he\ntold me afterwards, because he thought it would bring him into gay\nsociety. Thus my poor foolish heart was again deceived. And yet, God, in\nHis abundant mercy, made him, after all, in a way which was never thought\nof by me, the instrument of doing me good, not merely for time, but for\neternity.\n\nAbout this period, June 1825, I was again taken ill in consequence of my\nprofligate and vicious life. My state of health would therefore no longer\nallow me to go on in the same course, but my desires were still unchanged.\nAbout the end of July I recovered. After this, my conduct was outwardly\nrather better; but this arose only from want of money. At the commencement\nof August, Beta and I with two other students, drove about the country,\nfor four days. All the money for this expensive pleasure had been obtained\nby pledging some of our remaining articles. When we returned, instead of\nbeing truly sorry on account of this sin, we thought of fresh pleasures,\nand, as my love for traveling was stronger than ever, through what I had\nseen on this last journey, I proposed to my friends to set off for\nSwitzerland. The obstacles in the way, the want of money, and the want of\nthe passports, were removed by me. For, through forged letters from our\nparents, we procured passports; and through pledging all we could,\nparticularly our books, we obtained as much money as we thought would be\nenough. Beta was one of the party.\n\nOn August 18th we left Halle. It will be enough to say that we went as\nfar as Mount Rigi in Switzerland, by the way of Erfurt, Frankfort,\nHeidelberg, Stuttgart, Zurich, and returned by the way of Constance, Ulm,\nand Nuremberg. Forty-three days we were, day after day, traveling, almost\nalways on foot. I had now obtained the desire of my heart. I had seen\nSwitzerland. But still I was far from being happy. The Lord most\ngraciously preserved us from many calamitous circumstances, which, but for\nHis gracious providence, might have overtaken us. But I did not see His\nhand at that time, as I have seen it since. Sickness of one or more of us,\nor separation from one another, which might have so easily befallen us,\nwould have brought us, being so far from home, and having but just as much\nmoney as was absolutely needed, into a most miserable condition. I was on\nthis journey like Judas; for, having the common purse, I was a thief. I\nmanaged so, that the journey cost me but two-thirds of what it cost my\nfriends. Oh! how wicked was I now. At last all of us became tired of\nseeing even the most beautiful views; and whilst at first, after having\nseen certain scenes, I had been saying with Horace, at the end of\nthe day, in my pagan heart, \"Vixi,\" (I have lived), I was now glad to\nget home again.\n\nSeptember 29th we reached Halle, from whence each of us, for the\nremainder of the vacation, went to his father's house. I had now, by many\nlies, to satisfy my father concerning the traveling expenses, and\nsucceeded in deceiving him. During the three weeks I stayed at home I\ndetermined to live differently for the future. Once more the Lord showed\nme what resolutions come to, when made in man's strength. I was different\nfor a few days; but when the vacation was over, and fresh students came,\nand, with them, fresh money, all was soon forgotten.\n\nAt that time Halle was frequented by 1260 students, about 900 of whom\nstudied divinity, all of which 900 were allowed to preach, although, I\nhave reason to believe, not nine of them feared the Lord.\n\nThe time was now come when God would have mercy upon me. His love had\nbeen set upon such a wretch as I was before the world was made. His love\nhad sent His Son to bear the punishment due to me on account of my sins,\nand to fulfill the law which I had broken times without number. And now at\na time when I was as careless about Him as ever, He sent His Spirit into\nmy heart. I had no Bible, and had not read in it for years. I went to\nchurch but seldom; but, from custom, I took the Lord's supper twice a\nyear. I had never heard the gospel preached, up to the beginning of\nNovember 1825. I had never met with a person who told me that he meant, by\nthe help of God, to live according to the Holy Scriptures. In short, I had\nnot the least idea, that there were any persons really different from\nmyself, except in degree.\n\nOne Saturday afternoon, about the middle of November 1825, I had taken a\nwalk with my friend Beta. On our return he said to me, that he was in the\nhabit of going on Saturday evenings to the house of a Christian, where\nthere was a meeting. On further enquiry he told me that they read the\nBible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon. No sooner had I heard\nthis, than it was to me as if I had found something after which I had been\nseeking all my life long. I immediately wished to go with my friend, who\nwas not at once willing to take me; for knowing me as a gay young man, he\nthought I should not like this meeting. At last, however, he said he would\ncall for me.--I would here mention, that Beta seems to have had conviction\nof sin, and probably also a degree of acquaintance with the Lord, when\nabout fifteen years old. Afterwards, being in a cold and worldly state, he\njoined me in this sinful Journey to Switzerland. On his return, however,\nbeing extremely miserable, and convinced of his guilt, he made a full\nconfession of his sin to his father; and whilst with him, sought the\nacquaintance of a Christian brother, named Richter. This Dr. Richter, who\nhimself had studied a few years before at Halle, gave him, on his return\nto the university, a letter of introduction to a believing tradesman, of\nthe name of Wagner. It was this brother, concerning whom Beta spoke to me,\nand in whose house the meeting was held.\n\nWe went together in the evening. As I did not know the manners of\nbelievers, and the joy they have in seeing poor sinners, even in any\nmeasure caring about the things of God, I made an apology for coming. The\nkind answer of this dear brother I shall never forget. He said: \"Come as\noften as you please; house and heart are open to you.\" We sat down and\nsang a hymn. Then brother Kayser, now a missionary in Africa, in\nconnection with the London Missionary Society, who was then living at\nHalle, fell on his knees, and asked a blessing on our meeting. This\nkneeling down made a deep impression upon me; for I had never either seen\nany one on his knees, nor had I ever myself prayed on my knees. He then\nread a chapter and a printed sermon; for no regular meetings for\nexpounding the Scriptures were allowed in Prussia, except an ordained\nclergyman was present. At the close we sang another hymn, and then the\nmaster of the house prayed. Whilst he prayed, my feeling was something\nlike this: \"I could not pray as well, though I am much more learned than\nthis illiterate man.\" The whole made a deep impression on me. I was happy;\nthough, if I had been asked, why I was happy, I could not have clearly\nexplained it.\n\nWhen we walked home, I said to Beta, \"All we have seen on our journey to\nSwitzerland, and all our former pleasures, are as nothing in comparison\nwith this evening.\" Whether I fell on my knees when I returned home, I do\nnot remember; but this I know, that I lay peaceful and happy in my bed.\nThis shows that the Lord may begin His work in different ways. For I have\nnot the least doubt, that on that evening, He began a work of grace in me,\nthough I obtained joy without any deep sorrow of heart, and with scarcely\nany knowledge. That evening was the turning point in my life.--The next\nday, and Monday, and once or twice besides, I went again to the house of\nthis brother, where I read the Scriptures with him and another brother;\nfor it was too long for me to wait till Saturday came again.\n\nNow my life became very different, though not so, that all sins were\ngiven up at once. My wicked companions were given up; the going to taverns\nwas entirely discontinued; the habitual practice of telling falsehoods was\nno longer indulged in, but still a few times after this I spoke an\nuntruth.--At the time when this change took place, I was engaged in\ntranslating a novel out of French into German, for the press, in order to\nobtain the means of gratifying my desire to see Paris, &c. This plan about\nthe journey was now given up, though I had not light enough to give up the\nwork in which I was engaged, but finished it. The Lord, however, most\nremarkably put various obstacles in the way and did not allow me to sell\nthe manuscript. At last, seeing that the whole was wrong, I determined\nnever to sell it, and was enabled to abide by this determination. The\nmanuscript was burnt.\n\nI now no longer lived habitually in sin, though I was still often\novercome, and sometimes even by open sins, though far less frequently than\nbefore, and not without sorrow of heart. I read the Scriptures, prayed\noften, loved the brethren, went to church from right motives, and stood on\nthe side of Christ; though laughed at by my fellow-students.\n\nIt had pleased God to teach me something of the meaning of that precious\ntruth: \"God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that\nwhosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.\"\nI understood something of the reason why the Lord Jesus died on the cross,\nand suffered such agonies in the Garden of Gethsemane: even that thus,\nbearing the punishment due to us, we might not have to bear it ourselves.\nAnd, therefore, apprehending in some measure the love of Jesus for my\nsoul, I was constrained to love Him in return. What all the exhortations\nand precepts of my father and others could not effect; what all my own\nresolutions could not bring about, even to renounce a life of sin and\nprofligacy: I was enabled to do, constrained by the love of Jesus. The\nindividual who desires to have his sins forgiven, must seek for it through\nthe blood of Jesus. The individual who desires to get power over sin, must\nlikewise seek it through the blood of Jesus.\n\nIn January 1826, I began to read missionary papers, and was greatly\nstirred up to become a missionary myself. I prayed frequently concerning\nthis matter, and thus made more decided progress for a few weeks. But\nsoon, alas! I was drawn aside. I used frequently to meet a young female,\nwho also came to the meetings on Saturday evenings; and being the only\npious female of my own age, whom I knew, I soon felt myself greatly\nattached to her. This led away my heart from missionary work, for I had\nreason to believe that her parents would not allow her to go with me. My\nprayers now became cold and formal, and at length were almost entirely\ngiven up. My joy in the Lord left me. In this state I continued for about\nsix weeks. At the end of that time, about Easter 1826, I saw a devoted\nyoung brother, named Hermann Ball, a learned man, and of wealthy parents,\nwho, constrained by the love of Christ, preferred labouring in Poland\namong the Jews as a missionary, to having a comfortable living near his\nrelations. His example made a deep impression on me. I was led to apply\nhis case to my own, and to compare myself with him; for I had given up the\nwork of the Lord, and, I may say, the Lord Himself, for the sake of a\ngirl. The result of this comparison was, that I was enabled to give up\nthis connexion, which I had entered into without prayer, and which thus\nhad led me away from the Lord. When I was enabled to be decided, the Lord\nsmiled on me, and I was, for the first time in my life, able fully and\nunreservedly to give up myself to Him.\n\nIt was at this time that I began truly to enjoy the peace of God, which\npasseth all understanding. In this my joy I wrote to my father and\nbrother, entreating them to seek the Lord, and telling them how happy I\nwas; thinking, that if the way to happiness were but set before them, they\nwould gladly embrace it. To my great surprise an angry answer was\nreturned.--About this period the Lord sent a believer, Dr. Tholuck, as\nprofessor of divinity to Halle, in consequence of which a few believing\nstudents came from other universities. Thus also, through becoming\nacquainted with other brethren, the Lord led me on.\n\nWith the revival of the work of grace in my heart, after the snare above\nreferred to had been broken, my former desire, to give myself to\nmissionary service, returned, and I went at last to my father to obtain\nhis permission, without which I could not be received into any of the\nGerman missionary institutions. My father was greatly displeased, and\nparticularly reproached me, saying that he had expended so much money on\nmy education, in hope that he might comfortably spend his last days with\nme in a parsonage, and that he now saw all these prospects come to\nnothing. He was angry, and told me he would no longer consider me as his\nson. But the Lord gave me grace to remain steadfast. He then entreated me,\nand wept before me; yet even this by far harder trial the Lord enabled me\nto bear. Before I went away I took an opportunity of reminding my brother\nof my former wicked life, and told him that now, having been thus blessed\nby God, I could not but live for Him. After I had left my father, though I\nwanted more money than at any previous period of my life, as I had to\nremain two years longer in the university, I determined, never to take any\nmore from him; for it seemed to me wrong, so far as I remember, to suffer\nmyself to be supported by him, when he had no prospect that I should\nbecome, what he would wish me to be, namely, a clergyman with a good\nliving. This resolution I was enabled to keep.\n\nBy the way I would here observe, that the Lord afterwards, in a most\nremarkable way, supplied my temporal wants. For shortly after this had\noccurred, several American gentlemen, three of whom were professors in\nAmerican colleges, came to Halle for literary purposes; and as they did\nnot understand German, I was recommended by Dr. Tholuck to teach them.\nThese gentlemen, some of whom were believers, paid so handsomely for the\ninstruction which I gave them, and for the lectures of certain professors\nwhich I wrote out for them, that I had enough and to spare. Thus did the\nLord richly make up to me the little which I had relinquished for His\nsake. \"0 fear the Lord, ye His saints; for there is no want to them that\nfear Him.\" Psalm xxxiv. 9.\n\nOn my return from my father to Halle, I found that the more experienced\nbrethren thought that I ought for the present to take no further steps\nrespecting my desire to go out as a missionary. But still it was more or\nless in my mind.--Whitsuntide and the two days following I spent in the\nhouse of a pious clergyman in the country: for all the ministers at Halle,\na town of more than 30,000 inhabitants, were unenlightened men, God\ngreatly refreshed me through this visit. Dear Beta was with me. On our\nreturn we related to two of our former friends, whose society we had not\nquite given up, though we did not any longer live with them in sin, how\nhappy we had been on our visit. I then told them how I wished they were as\nhappy as ourselves. They answered, we do not feel that we are sinners.\nAfter this I fell on my knees, and asked God to show them that they were\nsinners. Having done so, I left them, and went into my bed-room, where I\ncontinued to pray for them. After a little while I returned to my\nsitting-room, and found them both in tears, and both told me that\nthey now felt themselves to be sinners. From that time a work of grace\ncommenced in their hearts.\n\nShortly after this, being still greatly exercised about going out as a\nmissionary, and wishing much (according to my natural mind, as I now see,)\nto have the matter settled, in one way or the other, without being willing\nquietly, patiently, and prayerfully to wait on the Lord, I came to the\nconclusion to ascertain the Lord's mind by the lot. To this end I not\nmerely drew a lot in private, but I bought a ticket in the royal lottery;\nand I left it thus with the Lord, that if I gained any thing, I should\ntake it to be His will that I should become a missionary, if not, that I\nshould remain at home. My ticket came out with a small sum, on account of\nwhich it appeared to me that I should be a missionary. I therefore applied\nto the Berlin Missionary Society, but was not accepted, because my father\nhad not given his consent.\n\nVery soon afterwards I was led to see in some degree, and since then much\nmore fully, the error into which I had fallen respecting the lot. In the\nfirst place it was altogether wrong, that I, a child of God, should have\nany thing to do with so worldly a system as that of the lottery. But it\nwas also unscriptural to go to the lot at all for the sake of ascertaining\nthe Lord's mind, and this I ground on the following reasons. We have\nneither a commandment of God for it, nor the example of our Lord, nor that\nof the apostles, after the Holy Spirit had been given on the day of\nPentecost. 1. We have many exhortations in the word of God to seek to know\nHis mind by prayer and searching the Holy Scriptures, but no passage which\nexhorts us to use the lot. 2. The example of the apostles (Acts i.) in\nusing the lot, in the choice of an apostle, in the room of Judas Iscariot,\nis the only passage, which can be brought in favour of the lot, from the\nNew Testament, (and to the Old we have not to go under this dispensation,\nfor the sake of ascertaining how we ought to live as disciples of Christ).\nNow concerning this circumstance we have to remember, that the Spirit was\nnot yet given (John vii. 39; ch. xiv. 16, 17; ch. xvi. 7, 13), by whose\nteaching especially it is that we may know the mind of the Lord; and hence\nwe find, that, after the day of Pentecost, the lot was no more used, but\nthe apostles gave themselves to prayer and fasting to ascertain how they\nought to act.\n\nIn addition to this I would give my own experience concerning the lot,\nbut only by way of illustrating the view just given; for the word of God\nis quite sufficient on the subject. And first as it regards my using the\nlot in the above case. How did it turn out? I had repeatedly asked the\nLord to show me His mind, whether He would have me to be a missionary or\nnot. But not coming to a satisfactory assurance, and being very anxious to\nhave the matter settled, I found out in my own judgment a much shorter\nway, namely, the lot. I ought to have said to myself, how can an\nindividual, so ignorant as you are, think about being a teacher to others?\nFor though I was truly begotten again, and rested upon Christ alone for\nsalvation, still I should not have been able to give a clear explanation\nof even the most elementary truths of the Gospel. How then could I be fit\nto teach others? The first thing therefore I ought to have done, was, to\nseek through much prayer, and searching the Scriptures, and a holy life,\nto obtain more knowledge of divine things. Further, as to my impatience in\nwishing the matter settled, how could I have been fit to endure in that\nstate the hardships and trials of a missionary life, in which my patience,\nno doubt, would have been much more severely tried? I therefore ought to\nhave said to myself, if I cannot wait quietly, though it be many months\nlonger, before the Lord shows me clearly His will concerning the matter,\nhow then can I be fit for missionary work? Instead of thus comparing my\nstate of heart and knowledge, with what is required in the Scriptures from\nhim who is to be a teacher, I ran hastily to the lot, and thought I had\ndone it prayerfully. And how did it end? According to my prayers the lot\ndecided I should be a missionary among the heathen (and my mind, at that\ntime, especially inclined to the East Indies). But the way in which the\nLord has led me since has been very different. And it ought not to be said\nin defense of the practice of deciding by lot--Perhaps the Lord meant you\nto be a missionary among the heathen, but you did not give yourself to the\nwork? for I actually offered myself to a society, but was not accepted.\nMoreover, since 1826 I have repeatedly offered myself most solemnly to the\nLord for this work, and am as sure that it is not His will that I should\ngo out a missionary for the present, as I am sure of any thing. Nor could\nit be said, that perhaps the Lord yet may call me for this work. For if He\nshould be pleased to do so tomorrow, yet that would prove nothing\nconcerning the above point. For I did not use the lot to ascertain whether\nat any period of my life I should be engaged in missionary work, but\nwhether I should then set about it. And to put such an explanation on the\nmatter, would be acting as false prophets, who, when their prophecies\nfail, try to find out some way or other, whereby they may show that their\nprophecies were true.\n\nAbout two years after I used the lot in another instance. I went one day\nto a village about fifteen miles from Halle, to see the few believers\nthere. When I was about three miles from the place, it began to get dark;\nand finding myself in a spot where the road divided, and not knowing which\nway I should choose, I was greatly perplexed. I stood a moment, and then\nprayed to God to show me by the lot, which was the right way. Now, truly\none may say, if the use of the lot in our day is according to the will of\nGod, this was particularly a case for the Lord to direct me through this\nmeans. For here was one of His children in need, looking up to his Father\nto help him, through the lot, out of his difficulty, and this His child\nalso on a journey in His service. I drew the lot and went the way to the\nleft. After some time I found I was on the wrong road. Now, at last, as I\ndid not know how to get into the right one, I did what I ought to have\ndone before, and what I believe to be a scriptural way of acting; I prayed\nthat the Lord graciously would send some one to put me into the right way;\nand almost immediately a carriage came up, and I was directed\non my journey.\n\nIn one other instance I used the lot some years after. It concerned a\nmost important matter, important for my whole life. I had then a degree of\nconviction, that I ought prayerfully and patiently to wait for the Lord's\ndecision. But my natural mind would have the decision at once, and thus\nafter prayer I drew the lot, to have the matter in one way or other\nsettled. But facts turned out completely different from what the lot\ndecided.\n\nTo ascertain the Lord's will we ought to use scriptural means. Prayer,\nthe word of God, and His Spirit should be united together. We should go to\nthe Lord repeatedly in prayer, and ask Him to teach us by His Spirit\nthrough His word. I say, by His Spirit through His word. For if we should\nthink that His Spirit led us to do so and so, because certain facts are so\nand so, and yet His word is opposed to the step which we are going to\ntake, we should be deceiving ourselves.\n\nFor instance: A brother in business thinks he ought to leave the house in\nwhich he lives, because it is not in a good situation. He wishes to know\nthe Lord's mind, as he says, and prays about the matter. After a few days,\nunexpectedly, a house is offered to him without seeking after it, in a\nmuch better situation. The house is very suitable, as he thinks; the rent\nvery moderate; and moreover the person who offers him the house tells him,\nthat, because he is a believer he will let him have it at this cheap rent.\nThere is, however, this scriptural objection in the way. If he goes into\nthis house, he must carry on so large a business, to cover his expenses,\nthat his time will be so occupied as to encroach upon those hours, which\nought to be devoted to his spiritual interests. Now the scriptural way of\ndeciding would be this: No situation, no business will be given to me by\nGod, in which I have not time enough to care about my soul (Matthew vi.\n33). Therefore, however outward circumstances may appear, it can only be\nconsidered as permitted of God, to prove the genuineness of my love,\nfaith, and obedience, but by no means as the leading of His providence to\ninduce me to act contrary to His revealed will.\n\nIn connexion with this I would mention, that the Lord very graciously\ngave me, from the very commencement of my divine life, a measure of\nsimplicity and of childlike disposition in spiritual things, so that\nwhilst I was exceedingly ignorant of the Scriptures, and was still from\ntime to time overcome even by outward sins, yet I was enabled to carry\nmost minute matters to the Lord in prayer. And I have found \"godliness\nprofitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of\nthat which is to come.\" Though very weak and ignorant, yet I had now, by\nthe grace of God, some desire to benefit others, and he who so faithfully\nhad once served Satan, sought now to win souls for Christ.\n\nI may mention a few instances. I circulated every month, in different\nparts of the country, about 300 missionary papers. I also sold and\ndistributed a considerable number of tracts, and often took my pockets\nfull in my walks, and distributed them, and spoke to poor people whom I\nmet. I also wrote letters to some of my former companions in sin. I\nvisited for thirteen weeks a sick man, who, when I first began to speak to\nhim about the things of God, was completely ignorant of his state as a\nsinner, trusting for salvation in his upright and moral life. After some\nweeks, however, the Lord allowed me to see a decided change in him, and he\nafterwards repeatedly expressed his gratitude, that I had been sent to him\nby God, to be the means of opening his blind eyes. May this encourage the\nbelieving reader to sow the seed, though he does not see it spring up at\nonce.\n\nThus the Lord condescended to begin to use me soon after my conversion,\nthough but little; for I could bear but very little, as I did not see at\nthat time, as I do now, that God alone can give spiritual life at the\nfirst, and keep it up in the soul afterwards. How imperfectly, however, on\naccount of my ignorance, some of these things were done, I will show by\nthe following instance. Once I met a beggar in the fields, and spoke to\nhim about his soul. But when I perceived it made no impression upon him, I\nspoke more loudly; and when he still remained unmoved, I quite bawled in\ntalking to him; till at last I went away, seeing it was of no use. Though\nnone had sought the Lord less than myself, when He was pleased to begin\nHis work in me; yet so ignorant was I of the work of the Spirit, that I\nthought my speaking very loudly would force him into repentance towards\nGod, and faith in the Lord Jesus.\n\nHaving heard that there was a schoolmaster living in a village, about six\nmiles from Halls, who was in the habit of holding a prayer meeting at four\no'clock every morning, with the miners, before they went into the pit,\ngiving them also an address, I thought he was a believer; and as I knew so\nvery few brethren, I went to see him, in order, if it might be, to\nstrengthen his hands. About two years afterwards he told me, that when I\ncame to him first, he knew not the Lord, but that he had held these\nprayer-meetings merely out of kindness to a relative, whose office\nit was, but who bad gone on a journey; and that those addresses which\nlie had read were not his own, but copied out of a book. He also told me,\nthat he was much impressed with my kindness, and, what he considered\ncondescension on my part in coming to see him, and this, together with\nmy conversation, had been instrumental in leading him to care about the\nthings of God; and I knew him ever afterwards as a true believer.\n\nThis schoolmaster asked me, whether I would not preach in his parish, as\nthe aged and infirm clergyman would be very glad of my assistance. Up to\nthis time I had never preached, though for fifteen months past I might\nhave done so as a student of divinity; for before Christmas 1825 I had\nbeen mercifully kept from attempting to preach, (though I wrote to my\nfather about July that I had preached, because I knew it would please\nhim), and after Christmas, when I knew the Lord, I refrained from doing\nso, because I felt that I was yet too little instructed in the things of\nGod. The same reason ought to have still kept me from preaching; yet I\nthought, that, by taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written by\na spiritual man, and committing it to memory, I might benefit the people.\nHad I reasoned scripturally, I should have said, surely it cannot be the\nwill of God, that I should preach in this way, if I have not enough\nknowledge of the Scriptures to write a sermon. Moreover, I had not enough\nlight nor tenderness of conscience to see, that I was a deceiver in the\npulpit; for every body supposes, that the sermon a man preaches is, if not\nentirely, at least as to the most part, his own composition.\n\nI now set about putting a printed sermon into a suitable form, and\ncommitting it to memory. It was hard work. There is no joy in man's own\ndoings and choosings. It took me nearly a whole week to commit to memory\nsuch a sermon as would take up nearly an hour in repeating. I got through\nit, but had no enjoyment in the work. It was on August 27, 1826, at eight\nin the morning, in a chapel of ease, in connexion with which my friend was\nschoolmaster.5 At eleven I repeated the same sermon verbatim in the parish\nchurch. There was one service more, in the afternoon, at which I needed\nnot to have done any thing; for the schoolmaster might have read a printed\nsermon, as he used to do. But having a desire to serve the Lord, though I\noften knew not how to do it scripturally; and knowing that this aged and\nunenlightened clergyman had had this living for forty-eight years, and\nhaving therefore reason to believe, that the gospel scarcely ever had been\npreached in that place; I had it in my heart to preach again in the\nafternoon. But I had no second sermon committed to memory. It came,\nhowever, to my mind to read the 5th chapter of Matthew, and to make such\nremarks as I was able. I did so. Immediately upon beginning to expound\n\"Blessed are the poor in spirit, &c.\" I felt myself greatly assisted; and\nwhereas in the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for the people\nto understand it, I now was listened to with the greatest attention, and I\nthink was also understood. My own peace and joy were great. I felt this a\nblessed work. After the service I left the aged clergyman as soon as\npossible, lest I should lose my enjoyment.\n\nOn my way to Halle I thought, this is the way I should like always to\npreach. But then it came immediately to my mind, that such sort of\npreaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it never would\ndo before a well educated assembly in town. I thought, the truth ought to\nbe preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form,\nsuited to the hearers. Thus I remained unsettled in my mind as it regards\nthe mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that I did not then see\nthe truth concerning this matter, for I did not understand the work of the\nSpirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence.\nFurther, I did not keep in mind, that if the most illiterate persons in\nthe congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated will\nunderstand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true.\n\nIt was not till three years afterwards that I was led, through grace, to\nsee what I now consider the right mode of preparation for the public\npreaching of the Word. But about this, if God permit, I will say more when\nI come to that period of my life.\n\nI now preached frequently, both in the churches of villages and towns,\nbut never had any enjoyment in doing so, except when speaking in a simple\nway; though the repetition of sermons, which had been committed to memory,\nbrought more praise from my fellow-creatures. But from neither way of\npreaching did I see any fruit. It may be, that the last day may show the\nbenefit even of these feeble endeavours. One reason why the Lord did not\npermit me to see fruit, seems to me, that I should have been most probably\nlifted up by success. It may be also, because I prayed exceedingly little\nrespecting the ministry of the Word, and because I walked so little with\nGod, and was so rarely a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the\nMaster's use.\n\nAbout the time that I first began to preach I lived for about two months\nin free lodgings, provided for poor students of divinity in the\nOrphan-House, built in dependence upon God, by that devoted and\neminent servant of Christ, A. H. Franke, Professor of Divinity at Halle,\nwho died 1727. I mention this, as some years afterwards I was benefited\nmyself through the faith of this dear man of God.--About that time I was\nstill so weak that I fell repeatedly into open sins, yet could not\ncontinue in them, nay, not even for a few days, without sorrow of heart,\nconfession before God, and fleeing to the blood of the Lamb. And so\nignorant was I still, that I bought a crucifix in a frame, and hung it up\nin my room, hoping that being thus frequently reminded of the sufferings\nof my Saviour, I should not fall so frequently into sin. But in a few days\nthe looking to the crucifix was as nothing, and I fell about that very\ntime more than once deeply.\n\nAbout this time I formed an intimate acquaintance with a brother, who was\nalso a divinity student: and as we loved one another so much, and were so\nhappy in one another's society, we thought that it would greatly add to\nour joy, and to one another's benefit, to live together, and that thus we\nmight mutually help one another. Accordingly in September 1826, I left the\nfree lodgings in the Orphan-House, and lived with him. But alas! we were\nnot aware, that because God is greatly glorified by the love and union of\nHis people, for this very reason Satan particularly hates it, and will,\ntherefore, in every possible way, seek to divide them. We ought to have\nespecially prayed, and that frequently, that the Lord would keep us\ntogether in love; instead of which, I do not think that we at all feared\ndisunion, as we loved one another so much. For this reason our great\nadversary soon got an advantage by our neglecting prayer concerning this\npoint, and we were disunited, and love and union were not fully restored\nbetween us till after we had been for some time separated.\n\nHaving heard that a very rich lady of title, residing at\nFrankfort-on-the-Maine, about two hundred miles from Halle, was a\nvery pious person, and,in visiting a charitable institution at\nDusselthal, had given very liberally; and wishing much about the\ncommencement of the year 1827 to help a poor relative with a small sum\nof money, and also to pay the remainder of the debt which\nI had contracted for my traveling expenses to Switzerland: I\nwrote to this lady, asking her to lend me a small sum of money,\nin actual amount only little above L5., but, as money in the North\nof Germany has much more value than in England, it was as much as L 12. or\nL 15. in this country. Whilst I was writing, however, the thought occurred\nto me, Suppose this lady should not be a believer? I, therefore, pointed\nout to her the way of salvation, and related to her how I had been brought\nto the knowledge of the truth. But I received no answer by the time I\nmight have had one.--I would just notice, that since 1829 my practice, on\naccount of what I found in the Scriptures, Rom. xiii. 8, as it regards\nborrowing money, has been different. And, moreover, I have considered that\nthere is no ground to go away from the door of the Lord to that of a\nbeliever, so long as He is so willing to supply our need.\n\nAbout January 20th I was one day very wretched. Satan obtained an\nadvantage over me through over-much work; for I was in the habit of\nwriting about fourteen hours a day. One morning I was in so wretched a\nstate, that I said in my heart, what have I now gained by becoming a\nChristian? Afterwards I walked about in the streets in this wretched state\nof heart, and at last I went into a confectioner's shop, where wine and\nardent spirits were sold, to eat and to drink. But as soon as I had taken\na piece of cake I left the shop, having no rest, as I felt that it was\nunbecoming a believer, either to go to such places, or to spend his money\nin such a way. In the afternoon of the very day on which, in the\ningratitude of my heart, I had had such unkind thoughts about the Lord,\n(who was at that very time in so remarkable a manner supplying my temporal\nwants, by my being employed in writing for an AMERICAN Professor), He\ngraciously showed me my sin, not by a severe chastisement, as I most\nrighteously deserved, but by adding another mercy to the many He had\nalready shown me. Oh! how long-suffering is our Lord. How does He bear\nwith us! May I at least now seek, for the few days whilst I may stay in\nthis world, to be more grateful for all His mercies!\n\nAt two o'clock I received a parcel from Frankfort, containing the exact\nsum of money of which I had requested the loan. There was no letter to be\nfound. I was overwhelmed with the Lord's mercy, but very much regretted\nthat there was no letter. At last, on carefully examining the paper in\nwhich the silver had been packed, I found one, which I have kept, and\nwhich I translate from the German.\n\n\"A peculiar providence has brought me acquainted with the letter which\nyou have written to Lady B. But you are under a mistake concerning her,\nboth as it regards her character, and her stay at D., where she never was.\nShe has been taken for another individual. But that I may lessen in some\nmeasure the difficulties in which you seem to be, I send you the enclosed\nsmall sum, for which you may thank, not the unknown giver, but the Lord,\nwho turneth the hearts like rivers of water. Hold fast the faith which God\nhas given you by His Holy Spirit; it is the most precious treasure in this\nlife, and it contains in itself true happiness. Only seek by watching and\nprayer more and more to be delivered from all vanity and self-complacency,\nby which even the true believer may be ensnared when he least expects it.\nLet it be your chief aim to be more and more humble, faithful, and quiet.\nMay we not belong to those who say and write continually,' Lord,' 'Lord,'\nbut who have Him not deeply in their hearts. Christianity consists not in\nwords, but in power. There must be life in us. For, therefore, God loved\nus first that we might love Him in return; and that loving we might\nreceive power, to be faithful to Him, and to conquer ourselves, the world,\ndistress, and death. May His Spirit strengthen you for this, that you may\nbe an able messenger of His Gospel! Amen.\n\n\"AN ADORING WORSHIPPER OF THE\n\nSAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST.\"\n\nFrankfort-on-the-Maine, January 14th, 1827.\n\nI saw, in some measure, at the time when I received t letter, how much I\nneeded such a faithful, and, at the same time, loving word of admonition;\nbut I have seen it more fully since. Self-complacency, and a want of\nquietness and saying and writing more frequently \"Lord,\" \"Lord,\" than\nacknowledging Him by my life as such; these were the evils against which\nat that time I particularly needed to be cautioned; and up to this day I\nam still much, very much, lacking in these points: though the Lord, to His\npraise I would say it, has done much for me in these particulars since\nthat time.\n\nAfter having read this letter, my heart was full of joy, shame and\ngratitude. Truly it was the goodness of God which brought my heart into\nthis state, and not the money for that was gone in a few hours after for\nthe two purposes above referred to. With my heart full of peculiar\nfeelings, and ashamed of my conduct in the morning, I left the town\ntowards the evening, to walk alone in a solitary place. And now, being\nparticularly conscious of my ingratitude to the Lord for all His mercies,\nand of my want of steadfastness in His ways, I could not forbear falling\ndown on my knees behind a hedge, though the snow was a foot deep, anew to\nsurrender myself wholly to Him, and to pray for strength that I might for\nthe future live more to His glory, and also to thank Him for His late\nmercy. It was a blessed time, I continued about half an hour in prayer.\n\nAfter such an experience, it may be difficult for one, who does not know\nthe plague of his own heart, to think that I was at that time a true\nbeliever, when I tell hint that so base was I, so altogether like a beast\nbefore my God, and unmindful of His mercies to me in Christ, that only a\nfew weeks after I fell into a wretched backsliding state, in which I\ncontinued for many days, during which time prayer was almost entirely\ngiven up. It was on one of these days that I rang my bell, and ordered the\nservant to fetch me wine. And now I began to drink. But how good was the\nLord! Though I desired to drink, that I might be able more easily to go\non in sin, yet He would not allow me to give up myself to the wickedness\nof my heart. For whilst in my ungodly days I had drunk once about five\nquarts of strong beer in one afternoon, in the way of bravado, and once\nalso much wine at one time, without remorse of conscience, I could now\ntake only two or three glasses before the wickedness of my conduct was\nbrought before me; and my conscience told me that I drank merely for the\nsake of drinking, and thus I gave it up.\n\nIt was about this time that I formed the plan of exchanging the\nUniversity of Halle for that of Berlin, on account of there being a\ngreater number of believing professors and students in the latter place.\nBut the whole plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnest\nprayer. When, however, the morning came on which I had to take decided\nsteps concerning it, and to apply for the university-testimonials, the\nLord graciously stirred me up, prayerfully to consider the matter; and\nfinding that I bad no sufficient reason for leaving Halle, I gave up the\nplan, and have never had reason to regret having done so.\n\nIn the vacations, Michaelmas, 1826, and Easter, 1827, and at other times,\nI visited a Moravian settlement, called Gnadau, which was only about three\nmiles distant from the place where my father then resided. Through the\ninstrumentality of the brethren, whom I met there, my spirit was often\nrefreshed.\n\nThe public means of grace by which I could be benefited were very few.\nThough I went regularly to church when I did not preach myself, yet I\nscarcely ever heard the truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman in\nthe town. And when it so happened that I could bear Dr. Tholuck, or any\nother godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand, and the looking back\nupon it afterwards, served to fill me with joy. Now and then I walked ten\nor fifteen miles to enjoy this privilege. May those who enjoy the faithful\nministry of the Word feel exceedingly thankful for it. There are few\nblessings on earth greater for a believer; and yet the Lord is frequently\nobliged to teach us the value of this blessing by depriving us of it for a\nseason.\n\nAnother means of grace which I attended, besides the Saturday evening\nmeetings in brother Wagner's house, was a meeting every Lord's day evening\nwith the believing students, which consisted of six or more in number, and\nincreased, before I left Halle, to about 20; and which, after the Easter\nvacation of 1827, was held in my room till I left Halle. In these meetings\none, or two, or more of the brethren prayed, and we read the Scriptures,\nsang hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethren spoke a\nlittle in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godly\nmen as were calculated for edification. I was often greatly stirred up and\nrefreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and\ntherefore cold and miserable, I opened my heart to the brethren, and was\nbrought out of that state through the means of their exhortations and\nprayers. \"Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together,\" is a most\nimportant exhortation. Even if we should not derive any especial benefit,\nat the time, so far as we are conscious, yet we may be kept from much\nharm. And very frequently the beginning of coldness of heart is nourished\nby keeping away from the meetings of the saints. I know, when I was cold,\nand had no real desire to be brought out of that state, I went a few times\ninto the villages, where I was sure not to meet with brethren, that I\nmight not be spoken to about the things of God. Yet so gracious was the\nLord, that my very wretchedness brought me back after a few hours. The\nLord had begun a good work in me; and being faithful, though I was\nfaithless, He would not give me up, but carried on His gracious work in\nme; though it would have progressed much more rapidly, had not my\nrebellious heart resisted. As to the other means of grace I would say: I\nfell into the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the reading\nof religious books in preference to the Scriptures. I could no longer read\nFrench and German novels, as I had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind;\nbut still I did not put into the room of those books the best of all\nbooks. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godly\npersons. The last kind of books I found more profitable than others, and\nhad they been well selected, or had I not read too much of such writings,\nor had any of them tended particularly to endear the Scriptures to me,\nthey might have done me much good.--I never had been at any time in my\nlife in the habit of reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen years\nof age, I occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards God's\nprecious book was entirely laid aside, so that I never read one single\nchapter of it, as far as I remember, till it pleased God to begin a work\nof grace in my heart. Now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been:\nGod Himself has condescended to become an author, and I am ignorant about\nthat precious book, which His Holy Spirit has caused to be written through\nthe instrumentality of His servants, and it contains that which I ought to\nknow, and the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; therefore\nI ought to read again and again this most precious book, this book of\nbooks, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and in\nthis practice I ought to continue all the days of my life. For I was\naware, though I read it but little, that I knew scarcely anything of it.\nBut instead of acting thus, and being led by my ignorance of the word of\nGod to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it, and the little\nenjoyment I had in it, made me careless of reading it (for much prayerful\nreading of the Word, gives not merely more knowledge, but increases the\ndelight we have in reading it); and thus, like many believers, I\npractically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the\nworks of uninspired men to the oracles of the living God. The consequence\nwas, that I remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace. In knowledge I\nsay; for all true knowledge must be derived, by the Spirit, from the Word.\nAnd as I neglected the Word, I was for nearly four years so ignorant, that\nI did not clearly know even the fundamental points of our holy faith. And\nthis lack of knowledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily in\nthe ways of God. For it is the truth that makes us free, (John viii. 31,\n32,) by delivering us from the slavery of the lusts of the flesh, the\nlusts of the eyes, and the pride of life. The Word proves it. The\nexperience of the saints proves it; and also my own experience most\ndecidedly proves it. For when it pleased the Lord in Aug. 1829, to bring\nme really to the Scriptures, my life and walk became very different. And\nthough even since that I have very much fallen short of what I might and\nought to be, yet, by the grace of God, I have been enabled to live much\nnearer to Him than before.\n\nIf any believers read this, who practically prefer other books to the\nHoly Scriptures, and who enjoy the writings of men much more than the word\nof God, may they be warned by my loss. I shall consider this book to have\nbeen the means of doing much good, should it please the Lord, through its\ninstrumentality, to lead some of His people no longer to neglect the Holy\nScriptures, but to give them that preference, which they have hitherto\nbestowed on the writings of men. My dislike to increase the number of\nbooks would have been sufficient to deter me from writing these pages, had\nI not been convinced, that this is the only way in which the brethren at\nlarge may be benefited through my mistakes and errors, and been influenced\nby the hope, that in answer to my prayers, the reading of my experience\nmay be the means of leading them to value the Scriptures more highly, and\nto make them the rule of all their actions.\n\nBefore I leave this subject I would only add: If the reader understands\nvery little of the word of God, he ought to read it very much; for the\nSpirit explains the Word by the Word. And if he enjoys the reading of the\nWord little, that is just the reason why he should read it much; for the\nfrequent reading of the Scriptures creates a delight in them, so that the\nmore we read them, the more we desire to do so. And if the reader should\nbe an unbeliever, I would likewise entreat him to read the Scriptures\nearnestly, but to ask God previously to give him a blessing. For in doing\nso, God may make him wise unto salvation, 2 Tim. iii. 16.\n\nIf any one should ask me, how he may read the Scriptures most profitably,\nI would advise him, that\n\nI. Above all he should seek to have it settled in his own mind, that God\nalone, by His Spirit, can teach him, and that therefore, as God will be\ninquired of for blessings, it becomes him to seek God's blessing previous\nto reading, and also whilst reading.\n\nII. He should have it, moreover, settled in his mind, that although the\nHoly Spirit is the best and sufficient teacher, yet that this teacher does\nnot always teach immediately when we desire it, and that, therefore, we\nmay have to entreat Him again and again for the explanation of certain\npassages; but that He will surely teach us at last, if indeed we are\nseeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and with a view to the glory of\nGod.\n\nIII. It is of immense importance for the understanding of the word of\nGod, to read it in course, so that we may read every day a portion of the\nOld and a portion of the New Testament, going on where we previously left\noff. This is important--1, because it throws light upon the connexion, and\na different course, according to which one habitually selects particular\nchapters, will make it utterly impossible ever to understand much of the\nScriptures. 2, Whilst we are in the body, we need a change even in\nspiritual things, and this change the Lord has graciously provided in the\ngreat variety which is to be found in His word. 3, It tends to the glory\nof God; for the leaving out some chapters here and there, is practically\nsaying, that certain portions are better than others; or, that there are\ncertain parts of revealed truth unprofitable or unnecessary. 4, It may\nkeep us, by the blessing of God, from erroneous views, as in reading thus\nregularly through the Scriptures, we are led to see the meaning of the\nwhole, and also kept from laying too much stress upon certain favourite\nviews. 5, The Scriptures contain the whole revealed will of God, and\ntherefore we ought to seek to read from time to time through the whole of\nthat revealed will. There are many believers, I fear, in our day, who have\nnot read even once through the whole of the Scriptures; and yet in a few\nmonths, by reading only a few chapters every day, they might accomplish it.\n\nIV. It is also of the greatest importance to meditate on what we read, so\nthat perhaps a small portion of that which we have read, or, if we have\ntime, the whole may be meditated upon in the course of the day. Or a small\nportion of a book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through which we go\nregularly for meditation, may be considered every day, without, however,\nsuffering oneself to be brought into bondage by this plan.\n\nLearned commentaries I have found to store the head with many notions,\nand often also with the truth of God; but when the Spirit teaches, through\nthe instrumentality of prayer and meditation, the heart is affected. The\nformer kind of knowledge generally puffs up, and is often renounced, when\nanother commentary gives a different opinion, and often also is found good\nfor nothing, when it is to be carried out into practice. The latter kind\nof knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads us nearer to God, and is\nnot easily reasoned away; and having been obtained from God, and thus\nhaving entered into the heart, and become our own, is also generally\ncarried out. If the inquirer after truth does not understand the Hebrew\nand Greek languages, so as to be able to compare the common translation\nwith the original, he may, concerning several passages, get light by an\nimproved rendering, provided he can be sure that the translator was a\ntruly spiritual person.\n\nThe last and most important means of, grace, namely, prayer, was\ncomparatively but little improved by me. I prayed, and I prayed often. I\nalso prayed, in general, by the grace of God, with sincerity; but had I\nbeen more earnestly praying, or even only as much, as I have prayed of\nlate years, I should have made much more rapid progress.\n\nIn August, 1827, I heard that the Continental Society in England intended\nto send a minister to Bucharest, the residence of many nominal German\nChristians, to help an aged brother in the work of the Lord; the two other\nGerman Protestant ministers in that place being, the one a Socinian, and\nthe other an unenlightened orthodox preacher. After consideration and\nprayer I offered myself for this work to professor Tholuck, who was\nrequested to look out for a suitable individual; for with all my weakness\nI had a great desire to live wholly for God. Most unexpectedly my father\ngave his consent, though Bucharest was above a thousand miles from my\nhome, and as completely a missionary station as any other. I considered\nthis a remarkable providence; though I see now, that a servant of Christ\nhas to act for his Master, whether it be according to the will of his\nearthly father or not. I then went home to, spend a short time with my\nfather. In the town where he lived, containing about 3000 inhabitants, I\ncould not hear of a single believer, though I made many inquiries. The\ntime I stayed with my father was more profitably spent than it had\nformerly been. I was enabled more than ever before to realize my high\ncalling. I had by the grace of God power over sin; at least much more than\nat any former period of my life.\n\nI returned to Halle, and now prepared with earnestness for the work of\nthe Lord. I set before me the sufferings which might await me. I counted\nthe cost. And he, who once so fully-served Satan, was now willing,\nconstrained by the love of Christ, rather to suffer affliction for the\nsake of Jesus, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. I also\nprayed with, a degree of earnestness concerning my future work.\n\nOne day, at the end of October, the above-mentioned brother, Hermann\nBall, missionary to the Jews, attended the Lord's day evening meeting in\nmy room, on his way through Halle, and stated that he feared, on account\nof his health, his should be obliged to give up labouring among the Jews.\nWhen I heard this, I felt a peculiar desire to fill up his place. About\nthis very time also I became exceedingly fond of the Hebrew language,\nwhich I had cared about very little up to that time, and which I had\nmerely studied now and then, from a sense of duty. But now I studied it,\nfor many weeks, with the greatest eagerness and delight. Whilst I thus\nfrom time to time felt a desire to fill up Brother Ball's place as a\nmissionary to the Jews, (about which, however, I did not seriously think,\nbecause Dr. Tholuck daily expected a letter from London, finally to settle\nthe particulars respecting my going to Bucharest); and whilst I thus\ngreatly delighted in the study of Hebrew: I called in the evening of Nov.\n17th on Dr. Tholuck. In the course of conversation he asked me, whether I\nhad ever had a desire to be a missionary to the Jews, as I might be\nconnected with the London Missionary Society, for promoting Christianity\namong them, for which he was an agent. I was struck with the question, and\ntold him what had passed in my mind, but added that it was not proper to\nthink anything about that, as I was going to Bucharest: to which he agreed.\n\nWhen I came home, however, these few words were like fire within me. The\nnext morning I felt all desire for going to Bucharest gone, which appeared\nto me very wrong and fleshly, and I therefore entreated the Lord, to\nrestore to me the former desire for labouring on that missionary station.\nHe graciously did so almost immediately. My earnestness in studying\nHebrew, and my peculiar love for it, however, continued. About this time I\nhad an offer of becoming tutor to the sons of a pious Gentleman of title,\nwhich I did not accept on account of my purpose of going to Bucharest, and\nif that should come to nothing, on account of my desire of being a\nmissionary to the Jews.\n\nAbout ten days after, Dr. Tholuck received a letter from the Continental\nSociety, stating, that, on account of the war between the Turks and\nRussians, it appeared well to the committee, for the time being to give up\nthe thought of sending a minister to Bucharest, as it was the seat of war\nbetween the two armies. Dr. Tholuck then asked me again, what I now\nthought about being a missionary to the Jews. My reply was, that I could\nnot then give an answer, but that I would let him know, after I had\nprayerfully considered the matter. After prayer and consideration, and\nconsulting with experienced brethren, in order that they might probe my\nheart as to my motives, I came to this conclusion, that, though I could\nnot say with certainty it was the will of God that I should be a\nmissionary to the Jews, yet, that I ought to offer myself to the\ncommittee, leaving it with the Lord to do with me afterwards, as it might\nseem good in His sight. Accordingly Dr. Tholuck wrote, about the beginning\nof December, 1827, to the committee in London.\n\nAt Christmas I spent a few days at Belleben, a village about fifteen\nmiles from Halle, where I had been once or twice before, both for the sake\nof refreshing the few brethren living there, and also of having my own\nspirit refreshed by their love. One evening, when I was expounding the\nScriptures to them, an unconverted young man happened to be present, and\nit pleased the Lord to touch his heart, so that he was brought to the\nknowledge of the truth.\n\nIn the beginning of the year 1828 there was a new workhouse established\nat Halle, into which persons of bad character were put for a time, and\nmade to work. Being disposed to benefit unbelievers, I heartily desired to\nhave permission statedly to preach the word of truth to them while I\nstayed at Halle, particularly as I understood that one of the lecturers of\ndivinity in the university, who was a Socinian, had applied for this\nliving. I wrote to the magistrates of the city, and offered to preach to\nthose criminals gratuitously, hoping that in this way there would be less\nobjection to my doing so. The reply was, that Dr.--had applied for this\nliving, and that it had been laid before the provincial government for\nconsideration, but that they would be glad if I would preach in the\nworkhouse till the matter was decided. The decision did not come for some\ntime, and I had thus an opportunity of preaching twice every Lord's day,\nand once or twice on the week evenings; and besides this I took the\ncriminals one by one into a room, to converse with them about their souls.\nThus the Lord condescended to give to one so unworthy, so ignorant, so\nweak in grace, and so young in the faith and in years, a most important\nfield of labour. However, it was well, that even under these circumstances\nI should have laboured there; for humanly speaking, had I not been there,\nthey would have had either no instruction at all, or a Socinian, or an\nunenlightened preacher would have preached to them. And besides this, I\nhad at least some qualification for ministering there; for I knew the\nstate of those poor sinners, having been myself formerly, in all\nprobability, a great deal worse than most of them, and my simplicity and\nplainness of speech they would not have found in every minister. After\nsome months the matter was decided, the Socinian lecturer of divinity, Dr.\n--, was appointed to the living, and I had to discontinue my labours.\n\nIt was not before March 1828, that Professor Tholuck received an answer\nfrom London respecting me, in which the committee put a number of\nquestions to me, on the satisfactory answers to which my being received by\nthem would depend. After replying to this first communication, I waited\ndaily for an answer, and was so much the more desirous of having it, as my\ncourse in the university was completed. But no answer came. Had my desire,\nto serve the Lord among the Jews, been of the flesh, it would in all\nlikelihood not have continued; but I still thought about it, and continued\nto make it a subject of prayer. At last, on June 13th, I received a letter\nfrom London, stating that the committee had determined, to take me as a\nmissionary student for six months on probation, provided that I would come\nto London.\n\nI had now had the matter before me about seven months, having supposed,\nnot only that it would have been settled in a few weeks, but also, that,\nif I were accepted, I should be sent out immediately, as I had passed the\nuniversity. Instead of this, not only seven months passed over before the\ndecision came, but I was also expected to come to London, and not only so,\nbut, though I had from my infancy been more or less studying, and now at\nlast wished actively to be engaged, it was required that I should again\nbecome a student. For a few moments, therefore, I was greatly disappointed\nand tried. But, on calmly considering the matter, it appeared to me but\nright that the committee should know me personally, and that it was also\nwell for me to know them more intimately than merely by correspondence, as\nthis afterwards would make our connexion much more comfortable. I\ndetermined therefore, after I had seen my father, and found no difficulty\non his part, to go to London.\n\nThere was, however, an obstacle in the way of my leaving the country.\nEvery Prussian male subject is under the necessity of being for three\nyears a soldier, provided his state of body allows it; but those who have\nhad a classical education up to a certain degree, and especially those who\nhave passed the university, need to be only one year in the army, but have\nto equip and maintain themselves during that year. Now, as I had been\nconsidered fit for service, when I was examined in my twentieth year, and\nhad only been put back, at my own request, till my twenty-third year, and\nas I was now nearly twenty-three, I could not obtain a passport out of the\ncountry, till I had either served, my time, or had been exempted by the\nKing himself. The latter I hoped would be the case; for it was a well\nknown fact that those who had given themselves to missionary service, had\nbeen always exempted. Certain brethren of influence, living in the\ncapital, to whom I wrote on the subject, advised me, however, to write\nfirst to the president of the government of the province to which I\nbelonged. This was done, but I was not exempted. Then those brethren wrote\nto the King himself; but he replied, that the matter must be referred to\nthe ministry and to the law, and no exception was made in my favour.\n\nI now knew not what to do. In the meantime, at the beginning of August, I\nwas taken ill. It was a common cold at first, but I could not get rid of\nit, as formerly. At last a skillful physician was consulted, and powerful\nmeans were used. After some time, he prescribed tonics and wine. For a day\nor two I seemed to get better, but after that it appeared, by the return\nof giddiness in my head, that the tonics had been too soon resorted to. At\nlast, having used still other means, I seemed in a fit state for tonics,\nand began again to take them. At the same time one of my friends, an\nAmerican Professor, took me as a companion with him to Berlin and other\nplaces, so that we rode about the country for about ten days together. As\nlong as I was day after day in the open air, going from place to place,\ndrinking wine and taking tonics, I felt well; but as soon as I returned to\nHale, the old symptoms returned. A second time the tonics were given up,\nand the former means used.\n\nAbout ten weeks had by this time passed away, since I was first taken\nill. This illness, in which a particular care for the body seemed to be so\nright, and in which therefore frequent walks were taken, and in which I\nthought myself justified in laying aside the study of Hebrew, &c., had not\nat all a beneficial effect on my soul. In connexion with this one of my\nchief companions at this time, the last-mentioned American Professor, was\na backslider. If the believing reader does not know much of his own heart\nand of man's weakness, he will scarcely think it possible that, after I\nhad been borne with by the Lord so long, and had received so many mercies\nat His hands, and had been so fully and freely pardoned through the blood\nof Jesus, which I both knew from His word, and had also enjoyed; and after\nthat I had been in such various ways engaged in the work of the Lord; I\nshould have been once more guilty of great backsliding, and that at the\nvery time when the hand of God was lying heavily upon me. Oh! how\ndesperately wicked is the human heart.\n\nIt was in this cold state of heart, that I rode with my friend to\nLeipsic, at the time of the famous Michaelmas fair. He wished me to go\nwith him to the Opera. I went, but had not the least enjoyment. After the\nfirst act I took a glass of ice for refreshment. After the second act I\nwas taken faint in consequence of this, my stomach being in a very weak\nstate; but I was well enough; after a while, to go to the hotel, where I\npassed a tolerable night. On the next morning my friend ordered the\ncarriage for our return to Halle. This circumstance the Lord graciously\nused as a means of arousing me; and on our way home, I freely opened my\nmind to my friend about the way in which we had been going on; and he then\ntold me that he was in a different state of heart, when he left America.\nHe also told me, when I was taken faint, that he thought it was an awful\nplace to die in. This was the second and last time, since I have believed\nin the Lord Jesus, that I was in a theatre; and but once, in the year\n1827, I went to a concert, when I likewise felt, that it was unbecoming\nfor me, as a child of God, to be in such a place. On my return to Halle I\nbroke a blood-vessel in my stomach, in consequence of the glass of ice. I\nwas now exceedingly weak, in which state I continued far several weeks,\nand then went for change of air into the country, to the house of a\nbeloved brother in the Lord, who, up to this day, has continued a kind and\nfaithful friend to me. My heart was now again in a better state than it\nhad been before the rupture of the blood-vessel, Thus the Lord, in the\nfaithful love of His heart, seeing that I was in a backsliding state,\nchastised me for my profit; and the chastisement yielded, in a measure at\nleast, the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Heb. xii. 10, 11.\n\nWhilst I was staying in the country, I received a letter from the\nAmerican Professor, who had in the meantime changed Halle for Berlin, and\nwho wished me to come to Berlin, where, being near the Court, I should be\nmore likely to obtain an exemption from my military duty; and he\nmentioned, at the same time, that all the expenses, connected with my\nstaying in Berlin, would be fully covered by the remuneration I should\nreceive for teaching German to himself and two of his friends, for a few\nhours every week. As I had no more connexion with the university at Halle,\nmy course having been finished for more than six months past, and as I had\nthe prospect of being spiritually benefited through my stay in Berlin, and\nthere was no probability, if I remained at Halle, of obtaining the\nabove-mentioned exemption, I came to the conclusion to go to Berlin.\n\nTwo ladies of title traveled with me to Berlin in a hired carriage. As I\nknew that we should be for two days together, I thought, in my fleshly\nwisdom, that though I ought to speak to them about the things of God, I\nshould first show them kindness and attention, and that, after having thus\nopened a way to their hearts, I might fully set before them their state by\nnature, and point them to the Lamb of God. We went on together most\namicably, I making only a few general remarks about divine things. On the\nsecond evening, however, when we were near the end of our journey, I felt\nthat it was high time to speak. And no sooner had I begun plainly to do\nso, than one of them replied, \"Oh! Sir, I wish you had spoken sooner about\nthese things, for we have, for a long time, wished to have some one to\nwhom we might open our hearts; but seeing that the ministers whom we know\ndo not live consistently, we have been kept from speaking to them.\" I now\nfound that they had been under conviction of sin for some time, but did\nnot know the way to obtain peace, even by faith in the Lord Jesus. After\nthis I spoke freely to them during the hour that yet remained. They parted\nfrom me under feelings of gratitude and regret that they could hear no\nmore, for they only passed through Berlin. I felt myself greatly reproved,\nand all I could do was, by a long letter, to seek to make up for my\ndeficiency in ministering to them on the journey. May this circumstance\nnever be forgotten by me, and may it prove a blessing to the believing\nreader.\n\nMy chief concern now was how I might obtain a passport for England,\nthrough exemption from military duty. But the more certain brethren tried,\nthough they knew how to set about the matter, and were also persons of\nrank, the greater difficulty there appeared to be in obtaining my object;\nso that in the middle of January 1829 it seemed as if I must immediately\nbecome a soldier. There was now but one more way untried, and it was at\nlast resorted to. A believing major, who was on good terms with one of the\nchief generals, proposed that I should actually offer myself for entering\nthe army, and that then I should be examined as to my bodily\nqualifications, in the hope, that, as I was still in a very weak state of\nbody, I should be found unfit for military service. In that case it would\nbelong to the chief general finally to settle the matter; who, being a\ngodly man himself, on the major's recommendation would, no doubt, hasten\nthe decision, on account of my desire to be a missionary to the Jews. At\nthe same time it stood so, that, if I should be found fit for service, I\nshould have to enter the army immediately.\n\nThus far the Lord had allowed things to go, to show me, it appears, that\nall my friends could not procure me a passport till His time was come. But\nnow it was come. The King of kings had intended that I should go to\nEngland, because He would bless me there, and make me a blessing, though I\nwas at that time, and am still most unworthy of it; and, therefore, though\nthe King of Prussia had not been pleased to make an exemption in my\nfavour, yet now all was made plain, and that at a time when hope had\nalmost been given up, and when the last means had been resorted to. I was\nexamined, and was declared to be unfit for military service. With a\nmedical certificate to this effect, and a letter of recommendation from\nthe major I went to this chief general, who received me very kindly and\nwho himself wrote instantaneously to a second military physician, likewise\nto examine me at once. This was done, and it was by him confirmed that I\nwas unfit. Now the chief general himself, as his adjutants happened to be\nabsent, in order to hasten the matter, wrote with his own hands the papers\nwhich were needed, and I got a complete dismissal, and that for life, from\nall military engagements. This was much more than I could have expected.\nThis military gentleman spoke to me in a very kind way, and pointed out\ncertain parts of the Scriptures, which he in particular advised me to\nbring before the Jews, especially Romans xi.\n\nOn considering why the Lord delayed my obtaining this permission, I find\nthat one of the reasons may have been, that I might both be profited\nmyself by my stay in Berlin, and that I also might be instrumental in\nbenefiting others. As to the first, I would mention, that I learned a\nlesson in Berlin which I did not know before. Whilst I was at Halle, I\nthought I should much enjoy being among so many christians as there are in\nBerlin. But when I was there I found, that enjoyment in the Lord does not\ndepend upon the multitude of believers, by whom we are surrounded. As to\nthe second point, perhaps the last day may show, that the Lord had some\nwork for me in Berlin: for, from the time of my coming until I left, I\npreached three, four, or five times every week in the wards of a\npoorhouse, which was inhabited by about three hundred aged and infirm\npeople. I also preached once in a church, and likewise visited one of the\nprisons several times on Lord's days to converse with the prisoners about\ntheir souls, where I was locked in by the keeper with the criminals in\ntheir cells.\n\nOn the whole my time in Berlin was not lost; and I was in a better state\nof heart than I had been for any length of time before, I was not once\novercome by my former outward besetting sins, though I have nothing to\nboast of even as it regards that period; and were only the sins of those\ndays brought against me, had I not the blood of Jesus to plead, I should\nbe most miserable. But I think it right to mention, for the glory of God,\nas I have so freely spoken about my falls, that whilst I was more than\never unobserved by others; and whilst I was living in the midst of more\ngaiety and temptations than ever; and had far more money than at any\nprevious time of my life; I was kept from things of which I had been\nhabitually guilty in my unconverted days!--My health was in a very weak\nstate, almost the whole time whilst I was staying in Berlin, and was in no\ndegree better, till, on the advice of, a believing medical professor, I\ngave up all medicine.\n\nHaving now without any further difficulty obtained my passport, I left\nBerlin on February 3rd, 1829, for London. The Lord gave me more grace on\nmy way from Berlin than on my way to it; for my mouth was almost\nimmediately opened to my fellow-travelers, and the message of the Gospel\nseemed to be listened to with interest, particularly by one. On February\n5th I arrived at my father's house; it was the place where I had lived as\na boy, and the scene of many of my sins, my father having now returned to\nit after his retirement from office. I came to it with peculiar feelings.\nThese feelings were not excited merely by the fact of my having been seven\nyears absent from it, but arose from the spiritual change I had undergone\nsince I last saw the place; for I had never been at Heimersleben since my\nfather fetched me from thence, which was a few days after my imprisonment\nat Wolfenbuettel had come to an end. There were but three persons in the\nwhole town with whom my soul had any fellowship. One of them had spent all\nhis money in coal mines, and was then earning his daily bread by thrashing\ncorn. As a boy I had in my heart laughed at him, for he seemed so\ndifferent from all other people. Now I sought him out, having previously\nbeen informed that he was a believer, to acknowledge him as such, by\nhaving fellowship with him, and attending, a meeting in his house on the\nLord's day evening. My soul was refreshed, and his also. Such a spiritual\nfeast, as meeting with a brother, was a rare thing to him. May we\nbelievers who live in Great Britain, and especially those of us who are\nsurrounded by many children of God, seek for grace, more highly to prize\nthe blessings which, we enjoy through fellowship with brethren! This dear\nbrother, who had then been a believer for more than twenty years, had only\na few times heard the gospel preached during all that period. What a\nwonderful thing that I, one of the vilest of those brought up in that\nsmall town, should have been so abundantly favoured, as to have been\nbrought to the knowledge of the truth, whilst none of all my relations,\nand scarcely one of those who grew up with me, so far as it has come to my\nknowledge, know the Lord!\n\nI left my father's house on February 10th, with the prospect of seeing\nhim again in about a twelvemonth, as a missionary among the Jews. But how\nhas the Lord graciously altered matters!--I was kindly lodged for a\nnight at Halberstadt by an aged brother, and then proceeded towards\nRotterdam, by the way of Munster. At Munster I rested a few days, and was\nvery kindly received by several brethren. They were officers in the army,\nand two of them had been, but a little while before this, Roman Catholics.\nI lodged in the house of a beloved brother, a tailor, who likewise had\nbeen a Roman Catholic.\n\nAbout February 22nd I arrived at Rotterdam. I took lodgings in the house\nof a believer, where two German brethren lodged, whom I had known at\nHalle, and who intended to go out as missionaries in connexion with the\nDutch Missionary Society. It was a peculiar feeling to me, for the first\ntime in my life to find myself among Christians of another nation, to\nattend their family prayer, hear them sing, &c. In spirit I had fellowship\nwith them, though our communication was but broken, as I understood but\nlittle of the Dutch language. Here also I heard for the first time the\npreaching of the Gospel in English, of which I knew enough to understand a\npart of what was said.--My going to England by the way of Rotterdam was\nnot the usual way; but consulting with a brother in Berlin, who had been\ntwice in England, I was told that this was the cheapest route. My asking\nthis brother, to be profited by his experience, would have been quite\nright, had I, besides this, like Ezra, sought of the Lord the right way.\nEzra viii. 21. But I sought unto men only, and not at all unto the Lord,\nin this matter. When I came to Rotterdam, I found that no vessels went at\nthat time from that port to London, on account of the ice having just\nbroken up in the river, and that it would be several weeks before the\nsteamers would again begin to ply. Thus I had to wait nearly a month at\nRotterdam, and, therefore, not only needed much more time than I should\nhave required to go by way of Hamburgh, but also much more money.\n\nOn March 19th, 1829, I landed in London. I now found myself, in a great\nmeasure, as it regards liberty, brought back to the years when I was at\nschool; yea, almost all the time I had been at school, and certainly for\nthe last four years, previous to my coming to England, I was not so much\nbound to time and order as I was in this seminary; and had not there been\na degree of grace in me, yea, so much as not to regard the liberty of the\nflesh, I should now probably have given up all idea of being a missionary\nto the Jews. But as I did not see that anything was expected from me which\nI could not conscientiously accede to, I thought it right to submit\nmyself, for the Lord's sake, to all the regulations of the institution.\n\n\nMy brethren in the seminary, most of them Germans, had instruction in\nHebrew, Latin, Greek, French, German, &c., scarcely any of them having had\na classical education; I read only Hebrew, and was exempted from all the\nrest. I remember how I longed to be able to expound the Scriptures in\nEnglish, when I heard a German brother do so, a few days after my arrival.\nAnd I also remember what joy it gave me, when a few weeks after, for the\nfirst time, I spoke in English to a little boy, whom I met alone in the\nfields, about his soul, thinking that he would bear with my broken\nEnglish.--I now studied much, about twelve hours a day, chiefly Hebrew;\ncommenced Chaldee; perfected myself in reading the German-Jewish in\nRabbinic characters, committed portions of the Hebrew Old Testament to\nmemory, &c.; and this I did with prayer, often falling on my knees,\nleaving my books for a little, that I might seek the Lord's blessing, and\nalso, that I might be kept from that spiritual deadness, which is so\nfrequently the result of much study. I looked up to the Lord even whilst\nturning over the leaves of my Hebrew dictionary, asking His help, that I\nmight quickly find the words. I made comparatively little progress in\nEnglish; for living with some of my countrymen, I was continually led to\nconverse in German.\n\nMy experience in this particular leads me to remark, that, should this\nfall into the hands of any who are desirous to labour as missionaries\namong a people whose language is not their own, they should seek not\nmerely to live among them, for the sake of soon learning their language,\nbut also, as much as possible, to be separated from those who speak their\nown language; for, when, some months after, I was in Devonshire,\ncompletely separated from those who spoke German, I daily made much\nprogress, whilst I made comparatively little in London.\n\nSoon after my arrival in England, I heard one of the brethren in the\nseminary speak about a Mr. Groves, a dentist in Exeter, who, for the\nLord's sake, had given up his profession, which brought him in about\nfifteen hundred pounds a year, and who intended to go as a missionary to\nPersia, with his wife and children, simply trusting in the Lord for\ntemporal supplies. This made such an impression on me, and delighted me\nso, that I not only marked it down in my journal, but also wrote about it\nto my German friends.\n\nI came to England weak in body, and in consequence of much study, as I\nsuppose, I was taken ill on May 15, and was soon, at least in my own\nestimation, apparently, beyond recovery. The weaker I became in body, the\nhappier I was in spirit. Never in my whole life had I seen myself so vile,\nso guilty, so altogether what I ought not to have been, as at this time.\nIt was as if every sin, of which I had been guilty, was brought to my\nremembrance; but, at the same time, I could realize that all my sins were\ncompletely forgiven that I was washed and made clean, completely clean, in\nthe blood of Jesus. The result of this was, great peace. I longed\nexceedingly to depart and to be with Christ. When my medical attendant\ncame to see me, my prayer was something like this: \"Lord, Thou knowest\nthat he does not know what is for my real welfare, therefore do Thou\ndirect him.\" When I took my medicine, my hearty prayer each time was\nsomething like this: \"Lord, Thou knowest that this medicine is in itself\nnothing, no more than as if I were to take a little water. Now please, 0\nLord, to let it produce the effect which is for my real welfare, and for\nThy glory. Let me either be taken soon to Thyself or let me be soon\nrestored; let me be ill for a longer time, and then taken to Thyself, or\nlet me be ill for a longer time, and then restored. 0 Lord, do with me as\nseemeth Thee best!\" One sin in particular was brought to my mind, which I\nnever had seen before, viz., that whilst all my life, even in former\nsicknesses, I had been blessed with uninterrupted refreshing sleep, which\nnow, for some nights, had almost entirely fled from my eyes, I had never\nheartily thanked God for it.\n\nAfter I had been ill about a fortnight, my medical attendant unexpectedly\npronounced me better. This, instead of giving me joy, bowed me down, so\ngreat was my desire to be with the Lord; though almost immediately\nafterwards grace was given me to submit myself to the will of God. After\nsome days I was able to leave my room. Whilst recovering I still continued\nin a spiritual state of heart, desiring to depart and to be with Christ.\nAs I recovered but slowly, my friends entreated me to go into the country\nfor change of air; but my heart was in such a happy and spiritual frame,\nthat I did not like the thought of traveling and seeing places. So far was\nI changed, who once had been so passionately fond of traveling. But as my\nfriends continued to advise me to go into the country, I thought at last\nthat it might be the will of God that I should do so, and I prayed\ntherefore thus to the Lord: \"Lord, I will gladly submit myself to Thy\nwill, and go if Thou wilt have me to go. And now let me know Thy will by\nthe answer of my medical attendant. If, in reply to my question, he says\nit would be very good for me, I will go; but if he says it is of no great\nimportance, then I will stay.\" When I asked him, he said that it was the\nbest thing I could do. I was then enabled willingly to submit, and\naccordingly went to Teignmouth. It was there that I became acquainted with\nmy beloved brother, friend, and fellow-labourer, Henry Craik.\n\nA few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, the chapel, called Ebenezer,\nwas reopened, and I attended the opening. I was much impressed by one of\nthose who preached on the occasion. For though I did not like all he said,\nyet I saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest. After he\nhad preached, I had a great desire to know more of him; and being invited\nby two brethren of Exmouth, in whose house he was staying, to spend some\ntime with them, I had an opportunity of living ten days with him under the\nsame roof. Through the instrumentality of this brother the Lord bestowed a\ngreat blessing upon me, for which I shall have cause to thank Him\nthroughout eternity.\n\nI will mention some points which God then began to show me.\n\n1. That the word of God alone is our standard of judgment in spiritual\nthings; that it can be explained only by the Holy Spirit; and that in our\nday, as well as in former times, He is the teacher of His people. The\noffice of the Holy Spirit I had not experimentally understood before that\ntime. Indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what is\ncommonly called the Trinity, I had no experimental apprehension. I had not\nbefore seen from the Scriptures that the Father chose us before the\nfoundation of the world; that in Him that wonderful plan of our redemption\noriginated, and that He also appointed all the means by which it was to be\nbrought about. Further, that the Son, to save us, had fulfilled the law,\nto satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of God; that He had\nborne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justice\nof God. And further, that the Holy Spirit alone can teach us about our\nstate by nature, show us the need of a Saviour, enable us to believe in\nChrist, explain to us the Scriptures, help us in preaching, &c. It was my\nbeginning to understand this latter point in particular, which had a great\neffect on me; for the Lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience,\nby laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simply\nreading the word of God and studying it. The result of this was, that the\nfirst evening that I shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayer\nand meditation over the Scriptures, I learned more in a few hours than I\nhad done during a period of several months previously. But the particular\ndifference was, that I received real strength for my soul in doing so. I\nnow began to try by the test of the Scriptures the things which I had\nlearned and seen, and found that only those principles, which stood the\ntest, were really of value.\n\n2. Before this period I had been much opposed to the doctrines of\nelection, particular redemption, and final persevering grace; so much so\nthat, a few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, I called election a\ndevilish doctrine. I did not believe that I had brought myself to the\nLord, for that was too manifestly false; but yet I held, that I might have\nresisted finally. And further, I knew nothing about the choice of God's\npeople, and did not believe that the child of God, when once made so, was\nsafe for ever. In my fleshly mind I had repeatedly said, If once I could\nprove that I am a child of God for ever, I might go back into the world\nfor a year or two, and then return to the Lord, and at last be saved. But\nnow I was brought to examine these precious truths by the word of God.\nBeing made willing to have no glory of my own in the conversion of\nsinners, but to consider myself merely as an instrument; and being made\nwilling to receive what the Scriptures said; I went to the Word, reading\nthe New Testament from the beginning, with a particular reference to these\ntruths. To my great astonishment I found that the passages which speak\ndecidedly for election and persevering grace, were about four times as\nmany as those which speak apparently against these truths; and even those\nfew, shortly after, when I had examined and understood them, served to\nconfirm me in the above doctrines. As to the effect which my belief in\nthese doctrines had on me, I am constrained to state, for God's glory,\nthat though I am still exceedingly weak, and by no means so dead to the\nlusts of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, as I\nmight and as I ought to be, yet, by the grace of God, I have walked more\nclosely with Him since that period. My life has not been so variable, and\nI may say that I have lived much more for God than before. And for this\nhave I been strengthened by the Lord, in a great measure, through the\ninstrumentality of these truths. For in the time of temptation, I have\nbeen repeatedly led to say: Should I thus sin? I should only bring misery\ninto my soul for a time, and dishonour God; for, being a son of God for\never, I should have to be brought back again, though it might be in the\nway of severe chastisement. Thus, I say, the electing love of God in\nChrist (when I have been able to realize it) has often been the means of\nproducing holiness, instead of leading me into sin. It is only the\nnotional apprehension of such truths, the want of having them in the\nheart, whilst they are in the head, which is dangerous.\n\n3. Another truth, into which, in a measure, I was led during my stay in\nDevonshire, respected the Lord's coming. My views concerning this point,\nup to that time, had been completely vague and unscriptural. I had\nbelieved what others told me, without trying it by the Word. I thought\nthat things were getting better and better, and that soon the whole world\nwould be converted. But now I found in the Word, that we have not the\nleast Scriptural warrant to look for the conversion of the world before\nthe return of our Lord. I found in the Scriptures, that that which will\nusher in the glory of the church, and uninterrupted joy to the saints, is\nthe return of the Lord Jesus, and that, till then, things will be more or\nless in confusion. I found in the Word, that the return of Jesus, and not\ndeath, was the hope of the apostolic Christians; and that it became me,\ntherefore, to look for His appearing. And this truth entered so into my\nheart, that, though I went into Devonshire exceedingly weak, scarcely\nexpecting that I should return again to London, yet I was immediately, on\nseeing the truth, brought off from looking for death, and was made to look\nfor the return of the Lord. Having seen this truth, the Lord also\ngraciously enabled me to apply it, in some measure at least, to my own\nheart, and to put the solemn question to myself--What may I do for the\nLord, before He returns, as He may soon come?\n\n4. In addition to these truths, it pleased the Lord to lead me to see a\nhigher standard of devotedness than I had seen before. He led me, in a\nmeasure, to see what is my true glory in this world, even to be despised,\nand to be poor and mean with Christ. I saw then, in a measure, though I\nhave seen it more fully since, that it ill becomes the servant to seek to\nbe rich, and great, and honoured in that world, where his Lord was poor,\nand mean, and despised.\n\nI do not mean to say that all that which I believe at present concerning\nthese truths, and those which, in connexion with them, the Lord has shown\nme since August 1829, were apprehended all at once; and much less did I\nsee them all at once with the same clearness, as, by the grace of God, I\ndo now; yet my stay in Devonshire was a most profitable time to my soul.\nMy prayer had been, before I left London, that the Lord would be pleased\nto bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. This prayer was\nanswered in both respects; for in the beginning of September I returned to\nLondon much better in body; and, as to my soul, the change was so great,\nthat it was like a second conversion.\n\nAfter my return to London, I sought to benefit my brethren in the\nseminary, and the means which I used were these. I proposed to them to\nmeet together every morning from six to eight for prayer and reading the\nScriptures, and that then each of us should give out what he might\nconsider the Lord had shown him to be the meaning of the portion read. One\nbrother in particular was brought into the same state as myself; and\nothers, I trust, were more or less benefited. Several times, when I went\nto my room after family prayer in the evening, I found communion with God\nso sweet, that I continued in prayer till after twelve, and then, being\nfull of joy, went into the room of the brother just referred to; and,\nfinding him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying until\none or two and even then I was a few times so full, of joy, that I could\nscarcely sleep, and at six in the morning again called the brethren\ntogether for prayer.\n\nAll this moreover did not leave me idle, as it regards actual engagements\nin the Lord's work, as I will now show. After I had been for about ten\ndays in London, and had been confined to the house on account of my\nstudies, my health began again to decline; and I saw that it would not be\nwell, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand brought out of the\ndevil's service, to spend my little remaining strength in study, but that\nI now ought to set about actual engagements in the Lord's work,\nparticularly as He had now given me more light about His truth, and also a\nheart to serve Him. I consequently wrote to the committee of the Society,\nrequesting them to send me out at once, as they had now had an opportunity\nof knowing me; and, that they might do so with more confidence, to send me\nas a fellow-labourer to an experienced brother. However I received no\nanswer.\n\nAfter having waited about five or six weeks, in the meantime seeking in\none way or other to labour for the Lord, it struck me that I was wrong and\nacting unscripturally, in waiting for the appointment to missionary work\nfrom my fellow-men; but that, considering myself called by the Lord to\npreach the gospel, I ought to begin at once to labour among the Jews in\nLondon, whether I had the title of missionary or not. In consequence of\nthis I distributed tracts among the Jews, with my name and residence\nwritten on them, thus inviting them to conversation about the things of\nGod; preached to them in those places where they most numerously collect\ntogether; read the Scriptures regularly with about fifty Jewish boys; and\nbecame a teacher in a Sunday school. In this work I had much enjoyment and\nthe honour of being reproached and ill-treated for the name of Jesus. But\nthe Lord gave me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger, or\nthe prospect of any suffering.\n\nMy light increased more and more during the months of September, October,\nand November. At the end of November it became a point of solemn\nconsideration with me, whether I could remain connected with the Society\nin the usual way. My chief objections were these: 1. If I were sent out by\nthe Society, it was more than probable, yea, almost needful, if I were to\nleave England, that I should labour on the Continent, as I was unfit to be\nsent to eastern countries on account of my health, which would probably\nhave suffered, both on account of the climate, and of my having to learn\nother languages. Now, if I did go to the Continent, it was evident, that\nwithout ordination I could not have any extensive field of usefulness, as\nunordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring freely there;\nbut I could not conscientiously submit to be ordained by unconverted men,\nprofessing to have power to set me apart for the ministry, or to\ncommunicate something to me for this work which they do not possess\nthemselves. Besides this, I had other objections to being connected with\nany state church or national religious establishment, which arose from the\nincreased light which I had obtained through the reception of this truth,\nthat the word of God is our only standard, and the Holy Spirit our only\nteacher. For as I now began to compare what I knew of the establishment in\nEngland and those on the Continent, with this only true standard, the word\nof God, I found that all establishments, even because they are\nestablishments, i.e. the world and the church mixed up together, not only\ncontain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departure\nfrom the word of God; but also, as long as they remain establishments,\nentirely preclude the acting throughout according to the Holy\nScriptures.--Then again, if I were to stay in England, the Society\nwould not allow me to preach in any place indiscriminately, where the\nLord might open a door for me; and to the ordination of English bishops\nI had still greater objections, than to the ordination of a Prussian\nConsistory. 2. I further had a conscientious objection against being\nled and directed by men in my missionary labours. As a servant of Christ\nit appeared to me, I ought to be guided by the Spirit, and not by men,\nas to time and place; and this I would say, with all deference to others,\nwho may be much more taught and much more spiritually minded than myself.\nA servant of Christ has but one Master. 3. I had love for the Jews, and\nI had been enabled to give proofs of it; yet I could not conscientiously\nsay, as the committee would expect from me, that I would spend the greater\npart of my time only among them. For the scriptural plan seemed to me,\nthat, in coming to a place, I should seek out the Jews, and commence my\nlabour particularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel, I\nshould go to the nominal Christians--The more I weighed these points, the\nmore it appeared to me that I should be acting hypocritically, were I to\nsuffer them to remain in my mind, without making them\nknown to the committee.\n\nThe question that next occurred to me was, how I ought to act if not sent\nout by the Society. With my views I could not return to Prussia; for I\nmust either refrain from preaching, or imprisonment would be the result.\nThe only plan that presented itself to me was, that I should go from place\nto place throughout England, as the Lord might direct me, and give me\nopportunity, preaching wherever I went, both among Jews and nominal\nChristians. To this mode of service I was especially stirred up through\nthe recently received truth of the Lord's second coming, having it\nimpressed upon my heart to seek to warn sinners, and to stir up the\nsaints; as He might soon come. At the same time it appeared to me well,\nthat I should do this in connexion with the Society for promoting\nChristianity among the Jews, serving them without any salary, provided\nthey would accept me on these conditions. An objection which came to my\nmind against taking any step which might lead to the dissolution of my\nconnexion with the Society, namely, that I had been some expense to it,\nand that thus I should appear ungrateful, and the money would seem to have\nbeen thrown away, was easily removed in this way:\n\n1. When I engaged with the Society, I did it according to the light I\nthen had. 2. I have but one Master; His is the money, and to Him I have to\ngive an account. 3. Though I have nothing to boast of, but much reason to\nbe ashamed before God on account of my lack of service; yet, speaking\nafter the manner of men, in some measure I did work, not only in the\nLord's service, but even in that particular line for which the money had\nbeen put into the hands of the committee.\n\nThere remained now only one point more to be settled:\n\nHow I should do for the future as it regarded the supply of my temporal\nwants, which naturally would have been a great obstacle, especially as I\nwas not merely a foreigner, but spoke so little English, that whilst I was\ngreatly assisted in expounding the Scriptures, it was with difficulty I\ncould converse about common things. On this point, however, I had no\nanxiety; for I considered, that, as long as I really sought to serve the\nLord, that is, as long as I sought the kingdom of God and His\nrighteousness, these my temporal supplies would be added to me. The Lord\nmost mercifully enabled me to take the promises of His word, and rest upon\nthem, and such as Matthew vii. 7, 8, John xiv. 13, 14, Matthew vi. 25-34,\nwere the stay of my soul concerning this point. In addition to this, the\nexample of brother Groves, the dentist before alluded to, who gave up his\nprofession, and went out as a missionary, was a great encouragement to me.\nFor the news, which by this time had arrived, of how the Lord had aided\nhim on his way to Petersburg, and at Petersburg, strengthened my faith.\n\nAt last, on December 12, 1829, I came to the conclusion to dissolve my\nconnexion with the Society, if they would not accept my services under the\nabove conditions, and to go throughout the country preaching, (being\nparticularly constrained to do so from a desire to serve the Lord as much\nas in me lay, BEFORE HIS RETURN), and to trust in Him for the supply of my\ntemporal wants. Yet at the same time it appeared well to me to wait a\nmonth longer, and to consider the matter still further, before I wrote to\nthe committee, that I might be sure I had weighed it fully.\n\nOn December 24th I went to the Church Missionary Institution at\nIslington, in the hope of benefiting the students there, if it were the\nLord's will. I returned very happy, as I almost invariably was at that\ntime, and went to bed full of joy. Next morning, (being that of Christmas\nday), I awoke in a very different state of heart from what I had\nexperienced for many weeks past. I had no enjoyment, and felt cold and\nlifeless in prayer. At our usual morning meeting, however, one of the\nbrethren exhorted me to continue to pray, saying that the Lord surely\nwould again smile on me, though now for a season, for wise purposes, He\nseemed to have withdrawn Himself. I did so. At the Lord's table, in the\nmorning, a measure of enjoyment returned. Afterwards I dined in a family,\nin company with the brother just referred to. My former enjoyment\ngradually returned. Towards evening the Lord gave me an opportunity of\nspeaking about His return, and I had great enjoyment in doing so. At eight\no'clock I was asked to expound at family prayer, and was much assisted by\nthe Lord. About half an hour after the exposition was over, I was\nrequested to come out of the room to see one of the servants, and the\nmother of another of the servants, who had been present at family prayer.\nI found them in tears, and both deeply impressed and under concern about\ntheir souls. I then went home, at least as happy as on the previous\nevening. I have related this circumstance, because I am aware that it is a\ncommon temptation of Satan to make us give up the reading of the Word and\nprayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of no use to read the\nScriptures when we do not enjoy them, and as if it were of no use to pray\nwhen we have no spirit of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoy\nthe Word, we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a spirit\nof prayer, is, to continue praying; for the less we read the word of God,\nthe less we desire to read it, and the less we pray, the less we desire to\npray.\n\nAbout the beginning of the next year my fellow students had a fortnight's\nvacation, and as with them I had conformed myself to the order of the\nInstitution, I felt that I might also partake of their privileges; not\nindeed to please the flesh, but to serve the Lord. On December 30th, I\ntherefore left London for Exmouth, where I intended to spend my vacation\nin the house of my Christian friends, who had kindly lodged me the summer\nbefore, that I might preach there during this fortnight, and still more\nfully weigh the matter respecting my proposal to time Society. I arrived\nat Exmouth on December 31st, at six in the evening, an hour before the\ncommencement of a prayer-meeting at Ebenezer Chapel. My heart was burning\nwith a desire to tell of the Lord's goodness to my soul, and to speak\nforth what I considered might not be known to most with whom I met. Being,\nhowever, not called on, either to speak or pray, I was silent. The next\nmorning I spoke on the difference between being a Christian and a happy\nChristian, and showed, whence it generally comes, that we rejoice so\nlittle in the Lord. This my first testimony was blessed to many believers,\nthat God, as it appears, might show me that He was with me. Among others\nit proved a blessing to a Christian female, who had been for ten years in\nbondage, and who, in the providence of God, had been brought from Exeter\nto be present that morning. This she told me many months after, when I met\nher on a journey.\n\nAt the request of several believers I spoke again in the afternoon, and\nalso proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound the\nepistle to the Romans. I had also most days a meeting in a room with\nseveral ladies, for reading the Scriptures with them. This I did that I\nmight make the best of my fortnight. The second day after my arrival, a\nbrother said to me: \"I have been praying for this month past that the Lord\nwould do something for Lympstone, a large parish where there is little\nspiritual light. There is a Wesleyan chapel, and I doubt not you would be\nallowed to preach there.\" Being ready to speak of Jesus wherever the Lord\nmight open a door, yet so, that I could be faithful to the truths which he\nhad been pleased to teach me, I went, and easily obtained liberty to\npreach twice on the next day, being the Lord's day. Besides this I\npreached in another village near Exmouth; so that I spoke once, twice, or\nthree times in public or private meetings every day for the first ten or\ntwelve days, and that with great enjoyment to my own soul.\n\nDuring the first days of January, 1830, whilst at Exmouth, it became more\nand more clear to me, that I could not be connected with the Society under\nthe usual conditions; and as I had an abundance of work where I was, and\nlittle money to spend in traveling (for all I possessed was about five\npounds), it appeared best to me to write at once to the committee, that,\nwhilst they were coming to a decision respecting me, I might continue to\npreach. I therefore wrote to them, stating what had been my views before I\nbecame acquainted with them, and what they were now. I also stated my\ndifficulty in remaining, connected with them on the usual terms, as stated\nin substance above; and then concluded, that as, however, I owed them\nmuch, as having been instrumental in bringing me to England, where the\nLord had blessed me so abundantly: and as I, also, should like to obtain\nfrom them the Hebrew Scriptures and tracts for the Jews: I would gladly\nserve them without any salary, if they would allow me to labour in regard\nto time and place as the Lord might direct me. Some time after I received\na very kind private letter from one of the secretaries, who always had\nbeen very kind to me, together with the following official communication\nfrom the committee.\n\n\"London Society for promoting Christianity amongst the Jews.\"\n\nAt a Meeting of the Missionary Sub-Committee, held January 27, 1830,\nSociety House, 10, Wardrobe Place, Doctors' Commons, a Letter was read\nfrom Mr. G. F. Mueller.\n\n\"Resolved, That Mr. Mueller be informed, that while the committee\ncordially rejoice in any real progress in knowledge and grace which he may\nhave made under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, they, nevertheless,\nconsider it inexpedient for any society to employ those who are unwilling\nto submit themselves to their guidance with respect to missionary\noperations; and that while, therefore, Mr. Mueller holds his present\nopinions on that point, the committee cannot consider him as a missionary\nstudent; but should more mature reflection cause him to alter that\nopinion, they will readily enter into further communication with him.\"\n\nThus my connexion with the Society was entirely dissolved. Fifty-two\nyears have passed away since, and I never have, even for one single\nmoment, regretted the step I took, but have to be sorry that I have been\nso little grateful for the Lord's goodness to me in that matter. The\nfollowing part of the Narrative also will prove to the enlightened reader,\nhow God blessed my acting out the light He had been pleased to give me.\nBut I cannot leave this subject, without adding, that it is far from my\nintention to throw any blame upon the Society. I have no wish to do so:\nnay, I confess, were the last-mentioned circumstances not so intimately\nconnected with my being in England, I would rather have left out the\nmatter altogether. But being under the necessity of saying something about\nmy connexion with it, it appeared best to me to relate the circumstances\njust as they were. Yet I do testify that I have not done it in the least\nfor the sake of injuring the Society; for I have received much kindness\nfrom some of those connected with it, particularly from two worthy men,\nthen taking a prominent part in managing its affairs. If I be judged\ndifferently, I can only say, \"Judge nothing before the time, until the\nLord come.\"\n\nAfter I had preached about three weeks at Exmouth and its neighbourhood,\nI went to Teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, to\npreach the Word among the brethren with whom I had become acquainted\nduring the previous summer, and thus to tell them of the Lord's goodness\nto me. One of the brethren said almost immediately on my arrival at\nTeignmouth, I wish you would become our minister, as the present one is\ngoing to leave us. My answer was, I do not intend to be stationary in any\nplace, but to go through the country, preaching the Word as the Lord may\ndirect me. In the evening, Monday, I preached for brother Craik, at\nShaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the\nsermon; yet it pleased God, through it, to bring to the knowledge of His\ndear Son, a young woman who had been servant to one of these ministers,\nand who had heard her master preach many times. How differently does the\nLord judge from man! Here was a particular opportunity for the Lord to get\nglory to Himself. A foreigner was the preacher, with great natural\nobstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak English with fluency;\nbut he had a desire to serve God, and was by this time also brought into\nsuch a state of heart as to desire that God alone should have the glory,\nif any good were done through his instrumentality. How often has it struck\nme, both at that time and since, that His strength was made perfect in my\nweakness.\n\nOn Tuesday evening I preached at Ebenezer Chapel, Teignmouth, the same\nchapel at the opening of which I became acquainted with the brother, whom\nthe Lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much. My\npreaching was also disliked there by many of the hearers; but the Lord\nopened the hearts of a few to receive the truth, and another young woman\nwas brought to the Lord through the instrumentality of the word then\npreached. On Wednesday I preached again in the same chapel, and the word\nwas disliked still, perhaps more, though the few, who received the truth\nin the love of it, increased in number. On Thursday I preached again at\nShaldon, and on Friday at Teignmouth. The effect was the same; dislike on\nthe one side, and joy and delight in the truth on the other. By this time\nI began to reflect about the cause of this opposition; for the same\nbrethren who had treated me with much kindness the summer previous, when I\nwas less spiritually minded, and understood much less of the truth, now\nseemed to oppose me, and I could not explain it in any other way than\nthis, that the Lord intended to work through my instrumentality at\nTeignmouth, and that therefore Satan, fearing this, sought to raise\nopposition against me.\n\nOn the Lord's day I dined with a brother, whose heart the Lord\nhad opened to receive me as a servant of Christ. After dinner I\ntalked to a young woman, his servant, at the request of her sister, who on\nthe Tuesday previous had been convinced of sin, and on the Friday brought\nto enjoy peace in the Lord. This young woman also was, through the\ninstrumentality of this conversation, brought to see her sinful state,\nthough she could not rejoice in the Lord until about seven months after.\nHow differently the Lord dealt with her sister, and yet the work of grace\nwas as real in the one as in the other, as I had full opportunity of\nseeing afterwards! On this same Lord's day I preached twice at Teignmouth,\nand once at Shaldon; for so precious did every opportunity seem to me, and\nso powerfully did I feel the importance of those precious truths, which I\nhad so recently been led to see, that I longed to be instrumental in\ncommunicating them to others.\n\nBy this time the request, that I might stay at Teignmouth, and be the\nminister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by an\nincreasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against my\nremaining there. This opposition was instrumental in settling it in my\nmind that I should stay for awhile, at least until I was formally\nrejected. In consequence of this conclusion I took the following step,\nwhich, it may be, I should not repeat under similar circumstances, but\nwhich was certainly taken in love to those who were concerned in the\nmatter, and for the glory of God, as far as I then had light.\n\nOn the Tuesday following, after preaching, I told the brethren how, in\nthe providence of God, I had been brought to them without the least\nintention of staying among them, but that, on finding them without a\nminister, I had been led to see it to be the will of God to remain with\nthem. I also told them, as far as I remember, that I was aware of the\nopposition of some, but that I nevertheless intended to preach to them\ntill they rejected me; and if they should say, I might preach, but they\nwould give me no salary, that would make no difference on my part, as I\ndid not preach for the sake of money; but I told them, at the same time,\nthat it was an honour, to be allowed to supply the temporal wants of any\nof the servants of Christ. The latter point I added, as it seemed right to\nme, to give out the whole counsel of God, as far as I knew it. On the next\nday, Wednesday, I left, and having preached in two or three places near\nExmouth, and taken leave of my friends there, I returned to Teignmouth.\n\nHere I preached again three times on the Lord's day, none saying we wish\nyou not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment.\nSome of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned after\nawhile. Others came to the chapel, who had not been in the habit of\nattending there previous to my coming. There was sufficient proof that the\nwork of God was going on, for there were those who were glad to hear what\nI preached, overlooking the infirmities of the foreigner, delighting in\nthe food for their souls, without caring much about the form in which the\ntruth was set before them; and these were not less spiritual than the\nrest: and there were those who objected decidedly; some, however,\nmanifesting merely the weakness of brethren, and others the bitterness of\nthe opposers of the cross. There was, in addition to this, a great stir, a\nspirit of inquiry, and a searching of the Scriptures, whether these things\nwere so. And what is more than all, God set His seal upon the work, in\nconverting sinners. Twelve weeks I stood in this same position, whilst the\nLord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked\nfor. After this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number,\nunanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. My answer to\nthem was, that their invitation did not show me more than I had seen\nbefore, that it was the will of God that I should remain with them, yet\nthat for their sakes I could not but rejoice in this invitation, as it was\na proof to me that God had blessed them through my instrumentality, in\nmaking them thus of one mind. I also expressly stated to the brethren,\nthat I should only stay so long with them, as I saw it clearly to be the\nwill of the Lord; for I had not given up my intention of going from place\nto place, if the Lord would allow me to do so. The brethren, at the same\ntime, now offered to supply my temporal wants, by giving me L55. a year,\nwhich sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase of\nthe church.\n\nI now had Teignmouth for my residence, but I did not confine my labours\nto this place; for I preached regularly once a week in Exeter, once a\nfortnight at Topsham, sometimes at Shaldon, often at Exmouth, sometimes in\nthe above-mentioned villages near Exmouth, regularly once a week at\nBishopsteignton, where a part of the church lived, and afterwards\nrepeatedly at Chudleigh, Collumpton, Newton Bushel, and elsewhere.\n\nThat which I now considered the best mode of preparation for the public\nministry of the Word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of want\nof time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of God's\nblessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of the\nsaints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows:--1. I do not presume\nto know myself what is best for the hearers, and I therefore ask the Lord\nin the first place, that He would graciously be pleased to teach me on\nwhat subject I shall speak, or what portion of His word I shall expound.\nNow sometimes it happens, that previous to my asking Him, a subject or\npassage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to\nspeak. In that case I ask the Lord, whether I should speak on this subject\nor passage. If, after prayer, I feel persuaded that I should I fix upon\nit, yet so, that I would desire to leave myself open to the Lord to change\nit, if He please. Frequently, however, it occurs, that I have no text or\nsubject in my mind, before I give myself to prayer for the sake of\nascertaining the Lord's will concerning it. In this case I wait some time\non my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit to\ndirect me. If then a passage or subject, whilst I am on my knees, or after\nI have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, I again ask the\nLord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, the\nsubject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be His will that I\nshould speak on such a subject or passage. If after prayer my mind is\npeaceful about it, I take this to be the text, but still desire to leave\nmyself open to the Lord for direction, should He please to alter it, or\nshould I have been mistaken. Frequently also, in the third place, it\nhappens, that I not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous to\nmy praying for guidance in this matter, but also I do not obtain one after\nonce, or twice, or more times praying about it. I used formerly at times\nto be much perplexed, when this was the case, but for more than forty-five\nyears it has pleased the Lord, in general at least, to keep me in peace\nabout it. What I do is, to go on with my regular reading of the\nScriptures, where I left off the last time, praying (whilst I read) for a\ntext, now and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till I get one.\nThus it has happened, that I have had to read five, ten; yea twenty\nchapters, before it has pleased the Lord to give me a text: yea, many\ntimes I have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, and\nobtained it perhaps only a few minutes before I was going to speak; but I\nhave never lacked the Lord's assistance at the time of preaching, provided\nI had earnestly sought it in private. The preacher cannot know the\nparticular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation,\nnor what they require, but the Lord knows it; and if the preacher\nrenounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the Lord; but if he will\nchoose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should see\nlittle benefit result from his labours.\n\nBefore I leave this part of the subject, I would just observe one\ntemptation concerning the choice of a text. We may see a subject to be so\nvery full, that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. For\ninstance, sometimes a text, brought to one's mind for a week-evening\nmeeting, may appear more suitable for the Lord's day, because then there\nwould be a greater number of hearers present. Now, in the first place, we\ndo not know whether the Lord ever will allow us to preach on another\nLord's day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that very\nsubject may not be especially suitable for some or many individuals\npresent just that week-evening. Thus I was once tempted, after I had been\na short time at Teignmouth, to reserve a subject, which had been just\nopened to me, for the next Lord's day. But being able, by the grace of\nGod, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching about\nit at once, it pleased the Lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner,\nand that too an individual who meant to come but that once more to the\nchapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited.\n\n2. Now when the text has been obtained in the above way, whether it be\none or two or more verses, or a whole chapter or more, I ask the Lord that\nHe would graciously be pleased to teach me by His Holy Spirit, whilst\nmeditating over it. Within the last fifty years, I have found it the most\nprofitable plan to meditate with my pen in my hand, writing down the\noutlines, as the Word is opened to me. This I do, not for the sake of\ncommitting them to memory, nor as if I meant to say nothing else, but for\nthe sake of clearness, as being a help to see how far I understand the\npassage. I also find it useful afterwards to refer to what I have thus\nwritten. I very seldom use any other help besides the little I understand\nof the original of the Scriptures, and some good translations in other\nlanguages. My chief help is prayer. I have NEVER in my life begun to study\none single part of divine truth, without gaining some light about it, when\nI have been able really to give myself to prayer and meditation over it.\nBut that I have often found a difficult matter, partly on account of the\nweakness of the flesh, and partly also on account of bodily infirmities\nand multiplicity of engagements. This I most firmly believe, that no one\nought to expect to see much good resulting from his labours in word and\ndoctrine, if he is not much given to prayer and meditation.\n\n3. Having prayed and meditated on the subject or text, I desire to leave\nmyself entirely in the hands of the Lord. I ask Him to bring to my mind\nwhat I have seen in my room, concerning the subject I am going to speak\non, which He generally most kindly does, and often teaches me much\nadditionally, whilst I am preaching.\n\nIn connection with the above, I must, however, state, that it appears to\nme there is a preparation for the public ministry of the Word, which is\neven more excellent than the one spoken of. It is this: to live in such\nconstant and real communion with the Lord, and to be so habitually and\nfrequently in meditation over the truth, that without the above effort, so\nto speak, we have obtained food for others, and know the mind of the Lord\nas to the subject or the portion of the Word on which we should speak. But\nthis I have only in a small measure experienced, though I desire to be\nbrought into such a state, that habitually \"out of my belly may flow\nrivers of living water.\"\n\nThat which I have found most beneficial in my experience for the last\nfifty-one years in the public ministry of the Word, is, expounding the\nScriptures, and especially the going now and then through a whole gospel\nor epistle. This may be done in a two-fold way, either by entering\nminutely into the bearing of every point occurring in the portion, or by\ngiving the general outlines, and thus leading the hearers to see the\nmeaning and connexion of the whole. The benefits which I have seen\nresulting from expounding the Scriptures are these: 1. The hearers are\nthus, with God's blessing, led to the Scriptures. They find, as it were, a\npractical use of them in the public meetings. This induces them to bring\ntheir bibles, and I have observed that those who at first did not bring\nthem, have afterwards been induced to do so: so that in a short time few,\nof the believers at least, were in the habit of coming without them. This\nis no small matter; for every thing, which in our day will lead believers\nto value the Scriptures, is of importance. 2. The expounding of the\nScriptures is in general more beneficial to the hearers than if, on a\nsingle verse, or half a verse, or two or three words of a verse some\nremarks are made, so that the portion of Scripture is scarcely anything\nbut a motto for the subject; for few have grace to meditate much over the\nWord, and thus exposition may not merely be the means of opening up to\nthem the Scriptures, but may also create in them a desire to meditate for\nthemselves. 3. The expounding of the Scriptures leaves to the hearers a\nconnecting link, so that the reading over again the portion of the Word,\nwhich has been expounded, brings to their remembrance what has been said;\nand thus, with God's blessing, leaves a more lasting impression on their\nminds. This is particularly of importance as it regards the illiterate,\nwho sometimes have neither much strength of memory nor capacity of\ncomprehension. 4. The expounding of large portions of the Word, as the\nwhole of a gospel or an epistle, besides leading the hearer to see the\nconnexion of the whole, has also this particular benefit for the teacher,\nthat it leads him, with God's blessing, to the consideration of portions\nof the Word, which otherwise he might not have considered, and keeps him\nfrom speaking too much on favourite subjects, and leaning too much to\nparticular parts of truth, which tendency must surely sooner or later\ninjure both himself and his hearers.--Expounding the word of God brings\nlittle honour to the preacher from the unenlightened or careless hearer,\nbut it tends much to the benefit of the hearers in general.\n\nSimplicity in expression, whilst the truth is set forth, is, in connexion\nwith what has been said, of the utmost importance. It should be the aim of\nthe teacher to speak so, that children, servants, and people who cannot\nread, may be able to understand him, so far as the natural mind can\ncomprehend the things of God. It ought also to be remembered, that there\nis, perhaps, not a single congregation in which there are not persons of\nthe above classes present, and that if they can understand, the\nwell-educated or literary persons will understand likewise; but the\nreverse does not hold good. It ought further to be remembered that the\nexpounder of the truth of God speaks for God, for eternity, and that it\nis not in the least likely that he will benefit the hearers, except he\nuses plainness of speech, which nevertheless needs not to be vulgar or\nrude. It should also be considered, that if the preacher strive to speak\naccording to the rules of this world, he may please many, Particularly\nthose who have a literary taste; but, in the same proportion, he is\nless likely to become an instrument in the hands of God for the conversion\nof sinners, or for the building up of the saints. For neither eloquence\nnor depth of thought make the truly great preacher, but such a life of\nprayer and meditation and spirituality, as may render him a vessel meet\nfor the Master's use, and fit to be employed both in the conversion of\nsinners and in the edification of the saints.\n\nAbout the beginning of April I went to preach at Sidmouth. While I was\nstaying there, three sisters in the Lord had, in my presence, a\nconversation about baptism, one of whom had been baptized after she had\nbelieved. When they had conversed a little on the subject, I was asked to\ngive my opinion concerning it. My reply was, \"I do not think, that I need\nto be baptized again.\" I was then asked by the sister who bad been\nbaptized, \"But have you been baptized?\" I answered, \"Yes, when I was a\nchild.\" She then replied, \"Have you ever read the Scriptures, and prayed\nwith reference to this subject?\" I answered, \"No.\" \"Then,\" she said, \"I\nentreat you, never to speak any more about it till you have done so.\" It\npleased the Lord to show me the importance of this remark; for whilst at\nthat very time I was exhorting every one to receive nothing which could\nnot be proved by the word of God, I had repeatedly spoken against\nbelievers' baptism, without having ever earnestly examined the Scriptures,\nor prayed concerning it; and now I determined, if God would help me, to\nexamine that subject also, and if infant baptism were found to be\nscriptural, I would earnestly defend it; and if believers' baptism were\nright, I would as strenuously defend that, and be baptized.\n\nAs soon as I had time, I set about examining the subject. The mode I\nadopted was as follows: I repeatedly asked God to teach me concerning it,\nand I read the New Testament from the beginning, with a particular\nreference to this point. But now, when I earnestly set about the matter, a\nnumber of objections presented themselves to my mind.\n\n1. Since many holy and enlightened men have been divided in opinion\nconcerning this point, does this not prove, that it is not to be expected\nwe should come to a satisfactory conclusion about this question in the\npresent imperfect state of the church?--This question was thus removed: If\nthis ordinance is revealed in the Bible, why may I not know it, as the\nHoly Spirit is the teacher in the church of Christ now as well as\nformerly? 2. There have been but few of my friends baptized, and the\ngreater part of them are opposed to believers' baptism, and they will turn\ntheir backs on me. Answer: Though all men should forsake me, if the Lord\nJesus takes me up, I shall be happy. 3. You will be sure to lose one half\nof your income if you are baptized. Answer: As long as I desire to be\nfaithful to the Lord, He will not suffer me to want. 4. People will call\nyou a baptist, and you will be reckoned among that body, and you cannot\napprove of all that is going on among them. Answer: It does not follow\nthat I must in all points go along with all those who hold believers'\nbaptism, although I should be baptized. 5. You have been preaching for\nsome years, and you will have thus publicly to confess, that you have been\nin an error, should you be led to see that believers' baptism is right.\nAnswer: It is much better to confess that I have been in error concerning\nthat point than to continue in it. 6. Even if believers' baptism should be\nright, yet it is now too late to attend to it, as you ought to have been\nbaptized immediately on believing. Answer: It is better to fulfill a\ncommandment of the Lord Jesus ever so late, than to continue in the\nneglect of it.\n\nIt had pleased God, in his abundant mercy, to bring my mind into such a\nstate, that I was willing to carry out into my life whatever I should find\nin the Scriptures concerning this ordinance, either the one way or the\nother. I could say, \"I will do His will,\" and it was on that account, I\nbelieve, that I soon saw which \"doctrine is of God,\" whether infant\nbaptism or believers' baptism. And I would observe here, by the way, that\nthe passage to which I have just now alluded, John vii. 17, has been a\nmost remarkable comment to me on many doctrines and precepts of our most\nholy faith. For instance: \"Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee\non thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue\nthee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And\nwhosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him\nthat asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou\naway. Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that\nhate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute\nyou.\" Matthew v. 39-44. \"Sell that ye have, and give alms.\" Luke xii. 33.\n\"Owe no man any thing, but to love one another.\" Rom. xiii. 8. It may be\nsaid, surely these passages cannot be taken literally, for how then would\nthe people of God be able to pass through the world. The state of mind\nenjoined in John vii. 17, will cause such objections to vanish. Whosoever\nis WILLING To ACT OUT these commandments of the Lord LITERALLY, will, I\nbelieve, be led with me to see that, to take them LITERALLY, is the will\nof God.--Those who do so take them will doubtless often be brought into\ndifficulties, hard to the flesh to bear, but these will have a tendency to\nmake them constantly feel that they are strangers and pilgrims here, that\nthis world is not their home, and thus to throw them more upon God, who\nwill assuredly help us through any difficulty into which we may be brought\nby seeking to act in obedience to His word.\n\nAs soon as I was brought into this state of heart, I saw from the\nScriptures that believers ONLY are the proper subjects for baptism, and\nthat immersion is the only true Scriptural mode, in which it ought to be\nattended to. The passage which particularly convinced me of the former, is\nActs viii. 36-38, and of the latter, Rom. vi. 3-5. Some time after, I was\nbaptized. I had much peace in doing so, and never have I for one single\nmoment regretted it.--Before I leave this point, I would just say a few\nwords concerning the result of this matter, so far as it regards some of\nthe objections which occurred to my mind when I was about to examine the\nScriptures concerning baptism.\n\n1. Concerning the first objection, my conviction now is, that of all\nrevealed truths not on is more clearly revealed in the Scriptures, not\neven the doctrine of justification by faith, and that the subject has only\nbecome obscured by men not having been willing to take the Scriptures\nalone to decide the point.\n\n2. Not one of my true friends in the Lord has turned his back on me, as I\nsupposed, and almost all of them have been themselves baptized since.\n\n3. Though in one way I lost money in consequence of being baptized, yet\nthe Lord did not suffer me to be really a loser, even as it regards\ntemporal things; for He made up the loss most bountifully. In conclusion,\nmy example has been the means of leading many to examine the question of\nbaptism, and to submit, from conviction, to this ordinance and seeing this\ntruth I have been led to speak on it as well as on other truths; and\nduring the forty-five years that I have now resided in Bristol, more than\nthree thousand believers have been baptized among us.\n\nIn June of this year (1830) I went to preach at the opening of a chapel\nin a village near Barnstaple, built by that blessed man of God, Thomas\nPugsley, now with the Lord. It pleased God to bring two souls to Himself\nthrough this my visit, and one more was converted on another visit. So\ngraciously did the Lord condescend to use me, that almost everywhere He\nblessed the Word which I preached, thereby testifying that He had sent me,\nand thereby also getting glory to Himself in using such an instrument. It\nwas so usual for me to preach with particular assistance, especially\nduring the first months of this year, that once, when it was otherwise, it\nwas much noticed by myself and others. The circumstance was this. One day,\nbefore preaching at Teignmouth, I had more time than usual, and therefore\nprayed and meditated about six hours, in preparation for the evening\nmeeting, and I thought I saw many precious truths in the passage on which\nI had meditated. It was the first part of the first chapter of the epistle\nto the Ephesians. After I had spoken a little time, I felt that I spoke in\nmy own strength, and I, being a foreigner, felt particularly the want of\nwords, which had not been the case before. I told the brethren, that I\nfelt I was left to myself, and asked their prayers. But after having\ncontinued a little longer, and feeling the same as before, I closed, and\nproposed that we should have a meeting for prayer, that the Lord still\nmight be pleased to help me. We did so, and I was particularly assisted\nthe next time.\n\nDuring this summer also it appeared to me scriptural, according to the\nexample of the Apostles, Acts xx. 7, to break bread every Lord's day,\nthough there is no commandment given to do so, either by the Lord, or by\nthe Holy Ghost through the Apostles. And at the same time it appeared to\nme scriptural, according to Eph. iv., Rom. xii., &c., that there should be\ngiven room for the Holy Ghost to work through any of the brethren whom He\npleased to use; that thus one member might benefit the other with the gift\nwhich the Lord has bestowed upon him. Accordingly at certain meetings any\nof the brethren had an opportunity to exhort or teach the rest, if they\nconsidered that they had any thing to say which might be beneficial to the\nhearers.--I observe here, that, as the Lord gave me grace to endeavour at\nonce to carry out the light which He had been pleased to give me on this\npoint, and as the truth was but in part apprehended, there was much\ninfirmity mixed with the manner of carrying it out. Nor was it until\nseveral years after that the Lord was pleased to teach me about this point\nmore perfectly. That the disciples of Jesus should meet together, on the\nfirst day of the week, for the breaking of bread, and that that should be\ntheir principal meeting, and that those, whether one or several, who are\ntruly gifted by the Holy Spirit for service, be it for exhortation, or\nteaching, or rule, &c., are responsible to the Lord for the exercise of\ntheir gifts: these are to me no matters of uncertainty, but points on\nwhich my soul, by grace, is established, through the revealed will of God.\n\nOn October 7th, 1830, I was united by marriage to Miss Mary Groves,\nsister of the brother whose name has already been mentioned. This step was\ntaken after prayer and deliberation, from a full conviction that it was\nbetter for me to be married: and I have never regretted since, either the\nstep itself or the choice, but desire to be truly grateful to God for\nhaving given me such a wife.\n\nAbout this time I began to have conscientious objections against any\nlonger receiving a stated salary. My reasons against it were these:--\n\n1. The salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents are, according to\nJames ii. 1-6, against the mind of the Lord, as, in general, the poor\nbrother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. (All pew-rents were\ntherefore given up, and all the seats made free, which was stated at the\nentrance of the chapel). 2. A brother may gladly do something towards my\nsupport if left to his own time; but when the quarter is up, he has\nperhaps other expenses, and I do not know, whether he pays his money\ngrudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but God loveth a cheerful\ngiver. Nay, I knew it to be a fact, that sometimes it had not been\nconvenient to individuals to pay the money, when it had been asked for by\nthe brethren who collected it. 3. Though the Lord had been pleased to give\nme grace to be faithful, so that I had been enabled not to keep back the\ntruth, when He had shown it to me; still I felt that the pew-rents were a\nsnare to the servant of Christ. It was a temptation to me, at least for a\nfew minutes, at the time when the Lord had stirred me up to pray and\nsearch the Word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because L30. of my\nsalary was at stake, if I should be baptized.\n\nFor these reasons I stated to the brethren, at the end of October, 1830,\nthat I should for the future give up having any regular salary. After I\nhad given my reasons for doing so, I read Philippians iv., and told the\nsaints, that if they still had a desire to do something towards my\nsupport, by voluntary gifts, I had no objection to receive them, though\never so small, either in money or provisions. A few days after it appeared\nto me, that there was a better way still; for if I received personally\nevery single gift, offered in money, both my own time and that of the\ndonors would be much taken up; and in this way also the poor might,\nthrough temptation, be kept from offering their pence, a privilege of\nwhich they ought not to be deprived; and some also might in this way give\nmore than if it were not known who was the giver; so that it would still\nbe doubtful whether the gifts were given grudgingly or cheerfully. For\nthese reasons especially, there was a box put up in the chapel, over which\nwas written, that whoever had a desire to do something towards my support,\nmight put his offering into the box.\n\nAt the same time it appeared to me right, that henceforth I should ask no\nman, not even my beloved brethren and sisters, to help me, as I had done a\nfew times according to their own request, as my expenses, on account of\ntraveling much in the Lord's service, were too great to be met by my usual\nincome. For unconsciously I had thus again been led, in some measure, to\ntrust in an arm of flesh; going to man, instead of going to the Lord at\nonce. To come to this conclusion before God, required more grace than to\ngive up my salary.\n\nAbout the same time also my wife and I had grace given to us to take the\nLord's commandment, \"Sell that ye have, and give alms,\" Luke xii. 33,\nliterally, and to carry it out. Our staff and support in this matter were\nMatthew vi. 19-34, John xiv. 13, 14. We leaned on the arm of the Lord\nJesus. It is now fifty-one years, since we set out in this way, and we do\nnot in the least regret the step we then took. Our God also has, in His\ntender mercy, given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning the\nabove points, both as it regards principle and practice; and this has been\nthe means of letting us see the tender love and care of our God over His\nchildren, even in the most minute things, in a way in which we never\nexperimentally knew them before; and it has, in particular, made the Lord\nknown to us more fully than we knew Him before, as a prayer hearing God.\nAs I have written down how the Lord has been pleased to deal with us\nsince, I shall be able to relate some facts concerning this matter, as far\nas they may tend to edification.\n\nExtracts from my Journal.\n\nNov. 18th, 1830.--Our money was reduced to about eight shillings. When I\nwas praying with my wife in the morning, the Lord brought to my mind the\nstate of our purse, and I was led to ask Him for some money. About four\nhours after, we were with a sister at Bishopsteignton, and she said to\nme, \"Do you want any money?\" \"I told the brethren,\" said I, \"dear sister,\nwhen I gave up my salary, that I would for the future tell the Lord only\nabout my wants.\" She replied, \"But He has told me to give you some money.\nAbout a fortnight ago I asked Him, what I should do for Him, and He told\nme to give you some money; and last Saturday it came again powerfully to\nmy mind, and has not left me since, and I felt it so forcibly last night,\nthat I could not help speaking of it to Brother P.\" My heart rejoiced,\nseeing the Lord's faithfulness, but I thought it better not to tell her\nabout our circumstances, lest she should be influenced to give\naccordingly; and I also was assured, that, if it were of the Lord, she\ncould not but give. I therefore turned the conversation to other subjects,\nbut when I left she gave me two guineas. We were full of joy on account of\nthe goodness of the Lord.--I would call upon the reader to admire the\ngentleness of the Lord, that He did not try our faith much at the\ncommencement, but gave us first encouragement, and allowed us to see His\nwillingness to help us, before He was pleased to try it more fully.\n\nThe next Wednesday I went to Exmouth, our money having then again been\nreduced to about nine shillings. I asked the Lord on Thursday, when at\nExmouth, to be pleased to give me some money. On Friday morning, about\neight o'clock, whilst in prayer, I was particularly led to ask again for\nmoney; and before I rose from my knees I had the fullest assurance, that\nwe should have the answer that very day. About nine o'clock I left the\nbrother with whom I was staying, and he gave me half a sovereign, saying,\n\"Take this for the expenses connected with your coming to us.\" I did not\nexpect to have my expenses paid, but I saw the Lord's fatherly hand in\nsending me this money within one hour after my asking Him for some. But\neven then I was so fully assured that the Lord would send more that very\nday, or had done so already, that, when I came home about twelve o'clock,\nI asked my wife whether she had received any letters. She told me she had\nreceived one the day before from a brother in Exeter, with three\nsovereigns. Thus even my prayer on the preceding day had been answered.\nThe next day one of the brethren came and brought me L4., which was due to\nme of my former salary, but which I could never have expected, as I did\nnot even know that this sum was due to me. Thus I received, within thirty\nhours, in answer to prayer, L7. 10s.\n\nIn the commencement of December I went to Collumpton, where I preached\nseveral times, and likewise in a neighbouring village. In driving home\nfrom the village late at night, our driver lost his way. As soon as we\nfound out our mistake, being then near a house, it struck me that the hand\nof God was in this matter; and having awakened the people of the house, I\noffered a man something if he would be kind enough to bring us into the\nright road. I now walked with the man before the gig, and conversed with\nhim about the things of God, and soon found out that he was an awful\nbackslider. May God, in mercy, bless the word spoken to him, and may we\nlearn from this circumstance, that we have to ask on such occasions, why\nthe Lord has allowed such and such things to happen to us.--Since the\npublication of the first edition, one day, about eight years after this\ncircumstance had happened, the individual who drove me that night\nintroduced himself to me as a believer, and told me that on that evening\nhe received his first impressions under the preaching of the Word. The\nmissing of the right road may have been connected with his state of mind.\nMay I and my fellow-labourers in the Gospel be encouraged by this,\npatiently to continue to sow the seed, though only after eight years or\nmore we should see the fruit of it. I only add, that up to that time, the\nindividual had been a very dissipated young man, who caused his believing\nparents very much grief. Their love led them to convey me and my wife to\nthis village and back again, and truly the Lord gave them a reward in\ndoing so.\n\nBetween Christmas and the new year, when our money was reduced to a few\nshillings, I asked the Lord for more; when a few hours after there was\ngiven to us a sovereign by a brother from Axminster. This brother had\nheard much against me, and was at last determined to hear for himself, and\nthus came to Teignmouth, a distance of forty miles; and having heard about\nour manner of living, gave us this money.\n\nWith this closes the year 1830. Throughout it the Lord richly supplied\nall my temporal wants, though at the commencement of it I had no certain\nhuman prospect for one single shilling; so that, even as it regards\ntemporal things, I had not been in the smallest degree a loser in acting\naccording to the dictates of my conscience; and, as it regards spiritual\nthings, the Lord had indeed dealt bountifully with me, and led me on in\nmany respects, and, moreover, had condescended to use me as an instrument\nin doing His work.\n\nOn January 6th, 7th, and 8th, 1831, I had repeatedly asked the Lord for\nmoney, but received none. On the evening of January 8th I left my room for\na few minutes, and was then tempted to distrust the Lord, though He had\nbeen so gracious to us, in that He not only up to that day had supplied\nall our wants, but had given us also those answers of prayer, which have\nbeen in part just mentioned. I was so sinful, for about five minutes, as\nto think it would be of no use to trust in the Lord in this way. I also\nbegan to say to myself, that I had perhaps gone too far in living in this\nway. But, thanks to the Lord! this trial lasted but a few minutes. He\nenabled me again to trust in Him, and Satan was immediately confounded;\nfor when I returned to my room (out of which I had not been absent ten\nminutes), the Lord had sent deliverance. A sister in the Lord, who resided\nat Exeter, had come to Teignmouth, and brought us L2. 4s.; so the Lord\ntriumphed, and our faith was strengthened.\n\nJan. 10. Today, when we had again but a few shillings, L5. was given to\nus, which had been taken out of the box. I had, once for all, told the\nbrethren, who had the care of these temporal things, to have the kindness\nto let me have the money every week; but as these beloved brethren either\nforgot to take it out weekly, or were ashamed to bring it in such small\nsums, it was generally taken out every three, four, or five weeks. As I\nhad stated to them, however, from the commencement, that I desired to look\nneither to man nor the box, but to the living God, I thought it not right\non my part, to remind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest it\nshould hinder the testimony which I wished to give, of trusting in the\nliving God alone. It was on this account that on January 28th, when we had\nagain but little money, though I had seen the brethren on January the 24th\nopen the box and take out the money, I would not ask the brother, in whose\nhands it was, to let me have it; but, standing in need of it, as our coals\nwere almost gone, I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring it, and\nbut a little time afterwards it was given to us, even L1. 8s. 6d.\n\nI would here mention, that since the time I began living in this way, I\nhave been kept from speaking, either directly or indirectly, about my\nwants, at the time I was in need. But whilst I have refrained, and do\nstill habitually refrain, from speaking to my fellow creatures about my\nwants at the time, I desire to speak well of the Lord's goodness, after He\nhas delivered me; not only in order that He thus may get glory, but also\nthat the children of God may be encouraged to trust in Him.\n\nOn February 14th we had again very little money, and, whilst praying, I\nwas led to ask the Lord, graciously to supply our wants; and the instant\nthat I rose from my knees, a brother gave me L1., which had been taken\nout of the box.\n\nOn March 7th I was again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of the\nLord, and though I was not miserable, still I was not so fully resting\nupon the Lord, that I could triumph with joy. It was but one hour after,\nwhen the Lord gave me another proof of His faithful love. A Christian lady\nat Teignmouth had been from home for some time, and on her return she\nbrought from the sisters in the Lord, with whom she had been staying, five\nsovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper;--\"I was an\nhungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink. Lord,\nwhen saw we Thee an hungered, and fed Thee? or thirsty, and gave Thee\ndrink? The King shall answer and say unto them, \"Verily, verily, I say\nunto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my\nbrethren, ye have done it unto me.\"\n\nOn March 16th I went to Axminster, and preached in several places in that\nneighbourhood, besides holding a meeting at Axminster. Whilst staying\nthere I was requested to preach at Chard; but as I had never been away\nfrom Teignmouth on the Lord's day, I had to pray much, before I came to\nthe conclusion to comply with the request. At last I had the fullest\nassurance that I ought to preach at Chard. I have since heard that the\nLord used me in edifying the brethren, and through a general exhortation\nto all, to read the Scriptures with earnestness, a woman was stirred up to\ndo so, and this was the means of her conversion. As to myself, I had a\nmost refreshing season. I mention this circumstance to show how important\nit is to ascertain the will of God, before we undertake any thing, because\nwe are then not only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of our\nhands will prosper.--One of the brethren at Chard forced a sovereign upon\nme, against the acceptance of which I strove much, lest it should appear\nas if I had preached for money. Another would give me a paper with money.\nI refused it for the same reason. At last he put it by force into my\npocket, and ran away. The paper contained 11s. 6d.\n\nApril 16th. This morning I found that our money was reduced to 3s., and I\nsaid to myself, I must now go and ask the Lord earnestly for fresh\nsupplies. But before I had prayed, there was sent from Exeter L2, as a\nproof that the Lord hears before we call.\n\nI would observe here, by the way, that if any of the children of God\nshould think that such a mode of living leads away from the Lord, and from\ncaring about spiritual things, and has the effect of causing the mind to\nbe taken up with the question, What shall I eat? What shall I drink?--and\nWherewithal shall I be clothed? and that on that account it would be much\nbetter to have a stated salary, particularly for one who labours in the\nword and doctrine, in order that he may be above these cares; I say,\nshould any believer think so, I would request him, prayerfully to consider\nthe following remarks:--1. I have had experience of both ways, and know\nthat my present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected with\nless care. 2. Confidence in the Lord, to whom alone I look for the supply\nof my temporal wants, keeps me, at least whilst faith is in exercise, when\na case of distress comes before me, or when the Lord's work calls for my\npecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: Will my salary last out?\nShall I have enough myself the next month? &c. In this my freedom, I am,\nby the grace of God, generally at least, able to say to myself something\nlike this:--My Lord is not limited; He can again supply; He knows that\nthis present case has been sent to me; and thus, this way of living, so\nfar from leading to anxiety, as it regards possible future want, is rather\nthe means of keeping from it. And truly it was once said to me by an\nindividual,--You can do such and such things, and need not to lay by, for\nthe church in the whole of Devonshire cares about your wants. My reply\nwas: The Lord can use not merely any of the saints throughout Devonshire,\nbut those throughout the world, as instruments to supply my temporal\nwants. 3. This way of living has often been the means of reviving the work\nof grace in my heart, when I have been getting cold; and it also has been\nthe means of bringing me back again to the Lord, after I have been\nbacksliding. For it will not do,--it is not possible, to live in sin, and,\nat the same time, by communion with God, to draw down from heaven every\nthing one needs for the life that now is. 4. Frequently, too, a fresh\nanswer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickening\nmy soul, and filling me with much joy.\n\nAbout April 20th I went to Chumleigh. Here and in the neighbourhood I\npreached repeatedly, and from thence I went to Barnstaple. Whilst we were\nat Barnstaple, there was found in my wife's bag a sovereign, put there\nanonymously. A sister also gave us L2. On our return to Teignmouth, May 2,\nwhen we emptied our travelling bag, there fell out a paper with money. It\ncontained two sovereigns and threepence, the latter put in, no doubt, to\nmake a noise in emptying the bag. May the Lord bless and reward the giver!\nIn a similar way we found 4s. put anonymously into one of our drawers, a\nfew days after.\n\nJune 6. Having prayed much on the previous days, that, when we wanted\nmoney, the Lord would be pleased to send some, today, after I had again\nasked for it, a poor sister brought half a sovereign, 5s. from herself,\nand 5s. from another very poor sister. This is not only a fresh proof that\nthe Lord hears prayer, but also that He sends by whom He will. Our money\nhad been reduced to 8s.\n\nJune 12. Lord's day. On Thursday last I went with brother Craik to\nTorquay, to preach there. I had only about 3s. with me and left my wife\nwith about 6s. at home. The Lord provided beds for us through the\nhospitality of a brother. I asked the Lord repeatedly for money; but when\nI came home my wife had only about 3s. left, having received nothing. We\nwaited still upon the Lord. Yesterday passed away, and no money came. We\nhad 9d. left. This morning we were still waiting upon the Lord, and\nlooking for deliverance. We had only a little butter left for breakfast,\nsufficient for brother E. and a relative living with us, to whom we did\nnot mention our circumstances, that they might not be made uncomfortable.\nAfter the morning meeting, brother Y. most unexpectedly opened the box,\nand, in giving me quite as unexpectedly the money at such a time, he told\nme that he and his wife could not sleep last night on account of thinking\nthat we might want money. The most striking point is, that, after I had\nrepeatedly asked the Lord, but received nothing, I then prayed yesterday,\nthat the Lord would be pleased to impress it on brother Y. that we wanted\nmoney, so that he might open the box. There was in it L1. 8s. 10 1/2d. Our\njoy on account of this fresh deliverance was great, and we praised the\nLord heartily.\n\nJune 18. Brother Craik called on us today, and he then had only 1 1/2d.\nleft. A few minutes after, he received: a sum of money, and in returning\nto us on his way home, he gave us 10s., when we had but 3s. left.\n\nJuly 20. A shoulder of mutton and a loaf were sent to us anonymously.--I\nunderstood some time afterwards, that Satan had raised the false report\nthat we were starving, in consequence of which a believer sent these\nprovisions. I would mention by the way, that various reports have been\ncirculated, on account of this our way of living. Sometimes it has been\nsaid that we had not enough to eat, and that surely such and such an\ninfirmity of body we had brought on us, because we had not the necessaries\nof life. Now, the truth is, that, whilst we have been often brought low;\nyea, so low, that we have not had even as much as one single penny left;\nor so as to have the last bread on the table, and not as much money as was\nneeded to buy another loaf;--yet never have we had to sit down to a meal,\nwithout our good Lord having provided nourishing food for us. I am bound\nto state this, and I do it with pleasure. My Master has been a kind Master\nto me, and if I had to choose this day again, as to the way of living, the\nLord giving me grace, I would not choose differently. But even these very\nreports, false as they were, I doubt not the Lord has sometimes used as a\nmeans, to put it into the hearts of His children, to remember our temporal\nnecessities.\n\nAbout July 25th I preached several times at Collumpton, and in a\nneighbouring village, in the open air. My experience as it regards\npreaching in the open air has been very different from what I might have\nexpected. I have often preached out of doors, and but once has it been\nblessed, as far as I know, and that was in the case of an officer in the\narmy, who came to make sport of it; whilst almost in every place, if not\nin every place, where I have preached in rooms or chapels, the Lord has\ngiven testimony to the Word. Perhaps the Lord has not been pleased to let\nme see fruit from this part of my work, though I have been many times\nengaged in it; or it may be, that, because I did not pray so earnestly\nrespecting my out-door preaching as respecting my in-door preaching, the\nformer has not been so much blessed as the latter. But this testimony I\ncannot but bear, that, though I do not consider it at present my work, on\naccount of want of bodily strength, yet it is a most important work, and I\nshould delight in being so honoured now, as to be allowed to be engaged in\nit.\n\nAugust 9. After extreme suffering, which lasted about seventeen hours, my\nwife was this day delivered of a still-born child.--Who of my readers\nwould suppose, that whilst I was so abundantly blessed by God, and that in\nso many respects, my heart should have been again many times during\nseveral months previous to this day, cold, wretched, carnal? How\nlong-suffering is the Lord! Repeatedly, during this time, I\ncould let hours run on, after I had risen in the morning, before\nI prayed; at least, before I retired for prayer. And at that\ntime when I appeared most zealous for God, perhaps more\nso than at any time before or since, I was often far from\nbeing in a spiritual state. I was not now, indeed, indulging in gross\noutward sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often--very\noften, the eye of my kind loving Father must have looked on me with much\ngrief. On this account, I have no doubt, the Lord now, in great\ncompassion, sent this heavy blow. I had not seriously thought of the great\ndanger connected with childbearing, and therefore had never earnestly\nprayed about it. Now came this solemn time. The life of my dear wife was\nhanging, as it were, on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my conscience\ntold me, that my state of heart made such a chastisement needful. Yet, at\nthe same time, I was much supported.--When the child was still-born, I saw\nalmost immediately afterwards, that this could not have been expected\notherwise, for I had not looked on the prospect of having a child as on a\nblessing, which I was about to receive from God, but rather considered it\nas a burden and a hindrance in the Lord's work; for I did not know then,\nthat, whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on the one\nhand, a hindrance to the servant of Christ, they also may fit him, on the\nother hand, for certain parts of his work, in teaching him things which\nare important to be known, especially for the pastoral work. The Lord now\nbrought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon my beloved wife,\nwhich lasted for six weeks, combined with a partial lameness of the left\nside.--Immediately after the eventful time of August 8th and 9th, the Lord\nbrought me, in His tender mercy, again into a spiritual state of heart, so\nthat I was enabled to look on this chastisement as a great blessing. May\nthis my experience be a warning to believing readers, that the Lord may\nnot need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart! May it also\nbe a fresh proof to them, that the Lord, in His very love and\nfaithfulness, will not, and cannot let us go on in backsliding, but that\nHe will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to Himself!\n\nThere was one point, however, in which, by grace, I had continued to be\nfaithful to God, i.e. in my mode of living, and, therefore, in as far as I\nhad been faithfully sowing, I now reaped abundantly; for the Lord most\ngraciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal wants, though\nthey were many. Another reason for this may have been, that the Lord never\nlays more on us, in the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makes\nneedful; so that whilst He smites with the one hand, He supports with the\nother.--We saw it to be against the Lord's mind to put by any money for my\nwife's confinement, though we might have, humanly speaking, very easily\nsaved L20. or L30. during the six months previous to August 7th. I say,\nhumanly speaking, and judging from what we had received during all these\nmonths, we might have laid by as much as the above sums; but I have every\nreason to believe, that, had I begun to lay up, the Lord would have\nstopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only apparent.\nLet no one profess to trust in God, and yet lay up for future wants,\notherwise the Lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed, before\nHe can answer the prayer for more. We were persuaded, that, if we laid out\nour money in the Lord's service, He would send more when we needed it; and\nthis our faith, His own gift, He graciously honoured, inasmuch as He not\nmerely gave us what we needed, but much more.\n\nOn August 6th, just before this time of need, the Lord sent us L5. from a\ndistance of about forty miles, and that from a sister, whom, up to this\nday, neither of us know personally. On August 7th I received L1. 0s. 9\n1/2d. out of the box. August 15th, from a distance of twenty-five miles\nwas sent L5., and from a distance of about seventy miles L1. August 18th,\nwhilst preaching at Chudleigh, L1. was sent to me, and a brother sent from\nExeter L2. August 21st was again sent from a distance of seventy miles\nL5., and August 23rd another L5. from the same place. Also, August 22nd,\n16s. 9d. was given out of the box. August 24th, a brother, who is a day\nlabourer, gave me 2s. 6d. August 31st, 5s. was given to me. September 3rd,\nwhilst preaching at Chudleigh, L3. 10s. was given to me by a brother and\nthree sisters. September 4th, a sister gave me a guinea, and also out of\nthe box was given 9s. 8d. September 10th, L6. was given to me. Thus,\nwithin about one month, the Lord not only sent us nearly L40., but\nlikewise all sorts of suitable provisions and refreshments, needful at\nsuch a time; and, in addition to this, the two medical gentlemen who\nattended my wife would not take any remuneration for their unwearied\nattention and kindness, during the space of six weeks. Thus the Lord gave\nus even more than we could have saved, if we had endeavoured to do so.\n\nNovember 16th. This morning I proposed united prayer respecting our\ntemporal wants. Just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from Exmouth.\nIn prayer we asked the Lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buy\nany. After prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, a\nham, sent by a brother at Exmouth, which served us for dinner. Thus not\nonly our own family was provided for, but also a sister in the Lord then\nstaying with us.\n\nNovember 17th. Today we had not a single penny left. We had asked the\nLord yesterday and today. We desired only enough money to be able to buy\nbread. We were reduced more than ever we had been before. But our gracious\nand faithful Lord, who never lays more upon His children than He enables\nthem to bear, delivered us again this time, by sending us L1. 10s. 6d.,\nabout an hour before we wanted money to buy bread.\n\nNovember 19th. We had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the Lord\ngraciously sent us again today 14s. 6d. I would just observe, that we\nnever contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to\nRomans xiii. 8;) and therefore we have no bills with our tailor,\nshoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c.; but all we buy we pay for in ready\nmoney. The Lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation, than\ncontract debts. Thus we always know how much we have, and how much we have\na right to give away. May I entreat the believing reader, prayerfully to\nconsider this matter; for I am well aware that many trials come upon the\nchildren of God, on account of not acting according to Rom. xiii. 8.\n\nNovember 27th, Lord's day. Our money had been reduced to 2 1/2d.; our\nbread was hardly enough for this day. I had several times brought our need\nbefore the Lord. After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked Him to give\nus our daily bread, meaning literally that He would send us bread for the\nevening. Whilst I was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room.\nAfter I had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her\ndinner, and from another poor sister, 5s. In the afternoon she also\nbrought us a large loaf. Thus the Lord not only literally gave us bread,\nbut also money.\n\nIn reading about all these answers to prayer, the believing reader may be\nled to think that I am spiritually minded above most of the children of\nGod, and that, therefore, the Lord favours us thus. The true reason is\nthis. Just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind of\nGod, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. Our manner of living\nis according to the mind of the Lord, for He delights in seeing His\nchildren thus come to Him (Matt. vi.); and therefore, though I am weak and\nerring in many points, yet He blesses me in this particular, and, I doubt\nnot, will bless me, as long as He shall enable me to act according to His\nwill in this matter.\n\nAfter we had, on December 31st, 1831, looked over the Lord's gracious\ndealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporal\nwants, we had about 10s. left. A little while after, the providence of God\ncalled for that, so that not a single farthing remained. Thus we closed\nthe old year, in which the Lord had been so gracious in giving to us,\nwithout our asking any one:--\n\n1. Through the instrumentality of the box, L31. 14s.--\n\n2. From brethren of the Church at Teignmouth, in presents of money, L6.\n18s. 6d.\n\n3. From brethren living at Teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected with\nthe Church at Teignmouth, L93. 6s. 2d. Altogether, L131. 18s. 8d.\n\nThere had been likewise many articles of provision and some articles of\nclothing given to us, worth at least L20. I am so particular in mentioning\nthese things, to show that we are never losers by acting according to the\nmind of the Lord. For had I had my regular salary, humanly speaking, I\nshould not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been the\ncase or not, this is plain, that I have not served a hard Master, and that\nis what I delight to show. For, to speak well of His name, that thus my\nbeloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be encouraged to trust in\nHim, is the chief purpose of my writing.\n\nWe had now in the new year to look up to our kind Father for new mercies,\nand during the year 1832 also we found Him as faithful and compassionate\nas before, not laying more on us than He enabled us to bear, though space\nwill only permit me to mention a few particulars.\n\nJanuary 7, 1832. We had been again repeatedly asking the Lord today and\nyesterday to supply our temporal wants, having no means to pay our weekly\nrent; and this evening, as late as eleven o'clock, a brother gave us 19s.\n6d., a proof that the Lord is not limited to time.\n\nJanuary 13. The Lord has again graciously fed us today. We have 5d. left,\nsome bread, rice, meat, potatoes, and other good things, and, above all,\nthe Lord Jesus. He who has provided will provide.\n\nJanuary 14. This morning we had nothing but dry bread with our tea; only\nthe second time since we have been living by simple faith upon Jesus for\ntemporal supplies. We have more than L40. of ready money in the house for\ntwo bills,2 which will not be payable for several weeks; but we do not\nconsider this money to be our own, and would rather suffer great\nprivation, God helping us, than take of it. I thank the Lord, who gives me\ngrace to be more faithful in these matters than I used to be formerly,\nwhen I would have taken of it, and said, that by the time the money was\nactually due, I should be able to replace it. We were looking to our\nFather, and He has not suffered us to be disappointed. For when now we had\nbut 3d. left, and only a small piece of bread, we received 2s. and 5s.,\nthe particulars concerning which would take up too much space.\n\nFebruary 18. This afternoon I broke a blood vessel in my stomach, and\nlost a considerable quantity of blood. I was very happy immediately\nafterwards. February 19. This morning, Lord's day, two brethren called on\nme, to ask me what arrangement there should be made today, as it regarded\nthe four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit of\npreaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of the\nbrethren would need to stay at home to take my place. I asked them, kindly\nto come again in about an hour, when I would give them an answer. After\nthey were gone, the Lord gave me faith to rise. I dressed myself, and\ndetermined to go to the chapel. I was enabled to do so, though so weak\nwhen I went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertion\nto me. I was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong a\nvoice as usual, and for the usual length of time. After the morning\nmeeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preach\nagain in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I told him, that I\nshould indeed consider it great presumption to do so, had the Lord not\ngiven me faith. I preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend\ncalled again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting.\nNevertheless, having faith, I preached again in the evening. After each\nmeeting I became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of God\nwas in the matter. After the third meeting I went immediately to bed,\nconsidering that it would be presumption to try my strength needlessly.\n\nFebruary 20. The Lord enabled me to rise early in the morning, and to go\nto our usual prayer-meeting, where I read, spoke, and prayed. Afterwards I\nwrote four letters, expounded the scriptures at home, and attended the\nmeeting again in the evening. February 21. I attended the two meetings as\nusual, preached in the evening, and did my other work besides. February\n22. Today I attended the meeting in the morning, walked afterwards six\nmiles with two brethren to Newton Bushel, and rode from thence to\nPlymouth: February 23. I am now as well as I was before I broke the blood\nvessel.--In relating the particulars of this circumstance I would earnestly\nwarn every one who may read this, not to imitate me in such a thing if he\nhas no faith; but if he has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly be\nhonoured by God. I could not say, that, if such a thing should happen\nagain, I would act in the same way; for when I have been not nearly so\nweak as when I had broken the blood-vessel, having no faith, I did not\npreach; yet if it were to please the Lord to give me faith, I might be\nable to do the same, though even still weaker than at the time just spoken\nof.\n\nAbout this time I repeatedly prayed with sick believers till they were\nrestored. Unconditionally I asked the Lord for the blessing of bodily\nhealth, (a thing which I could not do now), and almost always had the\npetition granted. In some instances, however, the prayer was not answered.\nIn the same way, whilst in London, Nov. 1829, in answer to my prayers, I\nwas immediately restored from a bodily infirmity under which I had been\nlabouring for a long time, and which has never returned since. The way in\nwhich I now account for these facts is as follows. It pleased the Lord, I\nthink, to give me in such cases something like the gift (not grace) of\nfaith, so that unconditionally I could ask and look for an answer. The\ndifference between the gift and the grace of faith seems to me this.\nAccording to the gift of faith I am able to do a thing, or believe that a\nthing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of\nwhich would not be sin; according to the grace of faith I am able to do a\nthing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which I have\nthe word of God as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing\nit, or the not believing it would be sin. For instance, the gift of faith\nwould be needed, to believe that a sick person should be restored again\nthough there is no human probability: for there is no promise to that\neffect; the grace of faith is needed to believe that the Lord will give me\nthe necessaries of life, if I first seek the kingdom of God and His\nrighteousness: for there is a promise to that effect.\" Matt. vi.\n\nMarch 18. These two days we have not been able to purchase meat. The\nsister in whose house we lodge gave us today part of her dinner. We are\nstill looking to Jesus for deliverance. We want money to pay the weekly\nrent and to buy provisions. March 19. Our landlady sent again of her meat\nfor our dinner. We have but a halfpenny left. I feel myself very cold in\nasking for money: still I hope for deliverance, though I do not see whence\nmoney is to come. We were not able to buy bread today as usual. March 20.\nThis has been again a day of very great mercies. In the morning we met\nround our breakfast which the Lord had provided for us, though we had not\na single penny left. The last half-penny was spent for milk. We were then\nstill looking to Jesus for fresh supplies. We both had no doubt that the\nLord would interfere. I felt it a trial that I had but little earnestness\nin asking the Lord, and had this not been the case, perhaps we might have\nhad our wants sooner supplied. We have about L7. in the house; but\nconsidering it no longer our own, the Lord kept us from taking of it, with\nthe view of replacing what we had taken, as formerly I might have done.\nThe meat which was sent yesterday for our dinner, was enough also for\ntoday. Thus the Lord had provided another meal. Two sisters called upon us\nabout noon, who gave us two pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and two\ncakes of chocolate. Whilst they were with us, a poor sister came and\nbrought 1s. from herself, and 2s. 6d. from another poor sister. Our\nlandlady also sent us again of her dinner, and also a loaf. Our bread\nwould scarcely have been enough for tea, had the Lord not thus graciously\nprovided. In the afternoon the same sister who brought the money, brought\nus also from another sister, one pound of butter and 2s., and from another\nsister 5s. Thus the Lord graciously has again answered our feeble and cold\nbreathings. Lord, strengthen our faith.\n\nMarch 29. I went to Shaldon this morning. Brother Craik has left for\nBristol for four weeks. I think he will only return to take leave, and\nthat the Lord will give him work there. [What a remarkable presentiment,\nwhich came to pass, concerning my beloved brother and fellow-labourer!]\n\nApril 4. Besides our own family, there are now four visitors staying with\nus, and we have but 2s. April 5. Four pounds of cheese, and one pound of\nbutter were sent to us. April 7. Anonymously was sent to us, from\nPlymouth, a large ham, with two sovereigns tied in the corner of the cloth\nin which the ham was wrapped up. Thus the Lord, once more, in this our\ntime of need, when our expenses are double, has graciously appeared for us.\n\nApril 8. I have again felt much this day that Teignmouth is no longer my\nplace, and that I shall leave it.\n\nI would observe that in August of the preceding year (1831), I began\ngreatly to feel as if my work at Teignmouth were done, and that I should\ngo somewhere else. On writing about this to a friend, I was led, from the\nanswer I received, to consider the matter more maturely, and at last had\nit settled in this way, that it was not likely to be of God, because, for\ncertain reasons, I should naturally have liked to leave Teignmouth.\nAfterwards I felt quite comfortable in remaining there. In the\ncommencement of the year 1832 I began again much to doubt whether\nTeignmouth was my place, or whether my gift was not much more that of\ngoing about from place to place, seeking to bring believers back to the\nScriptures, than to stay in one place and to labour as a pastor. I thought\nso particularly whilst at Plymouth, in February. On my return, however, I\nresolved to try whether it were not the will of God that I should still\ngive myself to pastoral work among the brethren at Teignmouth; and, with\nmore earnestness and faithfulness than ever, I was enabled to attend to\nthis work, and was certainly much refreshed and blessed in it; and I saw\nimmediately blessings result from it. This my experience seemed more than\never to settle me at Teignmouth. But notwithstanding this, the impression\nthat my work was done there, came back after some time, as the remark in\nmy journal of April 8th shows, and it became stronger and stronger. There\nwas one point remarkable in connexion with this. Wherever I went, I\npreached with much more enjoyment and power than at Teignmouth, the very\nreverse of which had been the case on my first going there. Moreover,\nalmost every where I had many more hearers than at Teignmouth, and found\nthe people hungering after food, which, generally speaking, was no longer\nthe case at Teignmouth.\n\nApril 10. I asked the Lord for a text, but obtained none. At last; after\nhaving again much felt that Teignmouth is not my place, I was directed to\nIsaiah li. 9-11. April 11. Felt again much that Teignmouth will not much\nlonger be my residence. April 12. Still feel the impression that\nTeignmouth is no longer my place. April 13. Found a letter from Brother\nCraik, from Bristol, on my return from Torquay, where I had been to\npreach. He invites me to come and help him. It appears to me from what he\nwrites, that such places as Bristol more suit my gifts. O Lord, teach me!\nI have felt this day more than ever, that I shall soon leave Teignmouth. I\nfear, however, there is much connected with it which savours of the flesh,\nand that makes me fearful. It seems to me as if I should shortly go to\nBristol, if the Lord permit. April 14. Wrote a letter to Brother Craik, in\nwhich I said I should come, if I clearly saw it to be the Lord's will.\nHave felt again very much today, yea, far more than ever, that I shall\nsoon leave Teignmouth. At last I was pressed in spirit to determine that\ntomorrow I would tell the brethren so, in order that by the result of this\nI might see more of the Lord's mind; and that, at all events, I might have\ntheir prayers, to be directed in this matter by the Lord.\n\nApril 15. Lord's day. This evening I preached again once more, as fully\nas time would permit, on the Lord's second coming. After having done so, I\ntold the brethren what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on first\nreceiving it, even to determine me to leave London, and to preach\nthroughout the kingdom; but that the Lord had kept me chiefly at\nTeignmouth for these two years and three months, and that it seemed to me\nnow that the time was near when I should leave them. I reminded them of\nwhat I told them when they requested me to take the oversight of them,\nthat I could make no certain engagement, but stay only so long with them\nas I should see it to be the Lord's will to do so. There was much weeping\nafterwards. But I am now again in peace. [This would not have been the\ncase, had the matter not been of God. I knew of no place to go to. My mind\nwas much directed to Torquay, to preach there for a month or so, and then\nto go further. For though I had written that I would come to Bristol, I\nmeant only to stay there for a few days, and to preach a few times.]\n\nApril 16. This morning I am still in peace. I am glad I have spoken to\nthe brethren, that they may be prepared, in case the Lord should take me\naway.--Having again little money, and being about to leave Teignmouth for\nseveral days, I asked the Lord for a fresh supply, and within about four\nhours afterwards he sent me, from six different quarters, L3. 7s. 6d. I\nleft today for Dartmouth, where I preached in the evening.--There was much\nweeping today among the saints at Teignmouth. This is already a trial to\nme, and it will be still more so should I actually leave.--It is a most\nimportant work to go about and stir up the churches; but it requires much\ngrace, much self-denial, much saying over the same things, and the\ngreatest watchfulness and faithfulness, in making use of one's time for\nprayer, meditation, and reading the Scriptures.--I had five answers to\nprayer today. 1. I awoke at five, for which I had asked the Lord last\nevening. 2. The Lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition, under\nwhich she had been suffering. It would have been trying to me to have had\nto leave her in that state. 3. The Lord sent us money. 4. There was a\nplace vacant on the Dartmouth coach, which only passes through Teignmouth.\n5. This evening I was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed.\n\nApril 17. I preached again at Dartmouth. April 18. I am still at\nDartmouth. I wrote to Brother Craik, that, the Lord willing, I should be\nwith him at Bristol on the 21st. I preached again this evening, with\nespecial assistance, before a large congregation. April 19. I awoke early,\nand had a good while to myself for prayer and reading the Word, and left\nhappy in spirit for Torquay, where I preached in the evening with much\nhelp. The brethren are sorry, that, on account of my going to Bristol, my\nregular weekly preaching will be given up there for a while. I walked home\nafter preaching, and arrived at Teignmouth at twelve o'clock.\n\nApril 20. I left this morning for Bristol. I preached with little power\n(as to my own feeling) in Exeter, from three till half-past four. At five\nI left for Taleford, where I preached in the evening, likewise with little\npower. I was very tired in body, and had had therefore little prayer. But\nstill, in both places, the believers seemed refreshed. I went to bed at\neleven, very, very tired.\n\nApril 21. This morning I rose a little before five, and attended a prayer\nmeeting from a quarter past five, to a quarter past six. I spoke for some\ntime at the meeting. Afterwards I prayed and read again with some\nbelievers, and likewise expounded the Scriptures. The Bristol coach took\nme up about ten. I was very faithless on the journey.\n\nI did not speak a single word for Christ, and was therefore wretched in\nmy soul. This has shown me again my weakness. Though the Lord had been so\ngracious to me yesterday, in this particular, both on my way from\nTeignmouth to Exeter, and from Exeter to Taleford, and had given me much\nencouragement, in that He made my fellow-travellers either thankfully to\nreceive the word, or constrained them quietly to listen to the testimony;\nyet I did not confess Him today. Nor did I give away a single tract,\nthough I had my pockets full on purpose. O wretched man that I am!\n\nI would offer here a word of warning to my fellow-believers. Often the\nwork of the Lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion\nwith Him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls.--On the\n19th I had left Dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in the\nevening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours sleep,\ntraveled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and\nconversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and rose before five.\nAll this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore,\nhowever careless about the Lord's work I might have appeared to my\nbrethren, I ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and\nreading the Word, especially as I had a long journey before me that day,\nand as I was going to Bristol, which in itself required much prayer.\nInstead of this, I hurried to the prayer meeting after a few minutes'\nprivate prayer. But let none think that public prayer will make up for\ncloset communion. Then again, afterwards, when I ought to have withdrawn\nmyself, as it were, by force, from the company of beloved brethren and\nsisters, and given my testimony for the Lord (and, indeed, it would have\nbeen the best testimony I could have given them), by telling them that I\nneeded secret communion with the Lord: I did not do so, but spent the\ntime, till the coach came, in conversation with them. Now, however\nprofitable in some respects it may have been to those with whom I was on\nthat morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not having had it, I was\nlean, and felt the effects of it the whole day, and hence I believe it\ncame that I was dumb on the coach.\n\nApril 22. This morning I preached at Gideon Chapel, Bristol. [Though this\nsermon gave rise to false reports, yet the Lord was pleased to bless it to\nseveral; and the false reports were likewise instrumental in bringing many\nindividuals under the sound of the Word.] In the afternoon I preached at\nthe Pithay Chapel. [This sermon was a blessing to many, many souls; and\nmany were brought through it, to come afterwards to hear Brother Craik and\nme. Among others it was the means of converting a young man who was a\nnotorious drunkard, and who was just again on his way to a public house,\nwhen an acquaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him to hear\na foreigner preach. He did so; and from that moment he was so completely\naltered, that he never again went to a public house, and was so happy in\nthe Lord afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eagerness to\nread the Scriptures, as his wife told me. He died about five months\nafterwards.] This evening I was much instructed in hearing Brother Craik\npreach. I am now fully persuaded that Bristol is the place where the Lord\nwill have me to labour.\n\nApril 23. This evening I preached again with much assistance at Gideon. I\nwas very happy. [The Lord made this testimony a blessing to several.] I\nfeel that Bristol is my place for a while. The Lord mercifully teach me!\n\nApril 27. It seems to Brother Craik and myself the Lord's will that we\nshould go home next week, in order that in quietness, without being\ninfluenced by what we see here, we may more inquire into the Lord's will\nconcerning us. It especially appears to us much more likely that we should\ncome to a right conclusion among the brethren and sisters in Devonshire,\nwhose tears we shall have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay with\nthem we shall have to hear, than here in Bristol, where we see only those\nwho wish us to stay. Some asked me to stay with them while Brother Craik\ngoes home. But it seems better that we should both go. [I observe here, it\nwas evident that many preferred my beloved brother's gifts to my own; yet,\nas he would not come, except I came with him: and as I knew that I also\nhad been called by the Lord for the ministry of the Word, I knew that I\nalso should find my work in Bristol, and that though it might be a\ndifferent one, yet I should fill up in some measure his lack, whilst he\nsupplied my deficiencies; and that thus we might both be a benefit to the\nchurch and to the world in Bristol. The result has evidently confirmed\nthis. I am, moreover, by the grace of God, strengthened to rejoice in my\nfellow-labourer's honour, instead of envying him; having, in some measure,\nbeen enabled to enter into the meaning of that word: \"A man can receive\nnothing, except it be given him from above.\"]\n\nApril 28. It still seems to us the Lord's will that we should both leave\nsoon, to have quiet time for prayer concerning Bristol. This afternoon I\nfelt the want of retirement, finding afresh, that the society of brethren\ncannot make up for communion with the Lord. I spent about three hours over\nthe Word and in prayer, this evening, which has been a great refreshment\nto my inner man.\n\nApril 29. I preached this morning with much outward power, but with\nlittle inward enjoyment, on Rev. iii. 14-22. [As it afterwards appeared,\nthat testimony was blessed to many, though I lacked enjoyment in my own\nsoul. May this be an encouragement to those who labour in word and\ndoctrine!] This afternoon Brother Craik preached in a vessel called the\nClifton Ark, fitted up for a chapel. In the evening I preached in the same\nvessel. [These testimonies also God greatly honoured, and made them the\nmeans of afterwards bringing several, who then heard us, to our meeting\nplaces. How did God bless us in everything we took into our hands! How was\nHe with us, and how did He help us, thereby evidently showing that He\nHimself had sent us to this city!] Brother Craik preached this evening\nat Gideon for the last time previous to our going. The aisles, the pulpit\nstairs, and the vestry were filled, and multitudes went away on account of\nthe want of room.\n\nApril 30. It was most affecting to take leave of the dear children of\nGod, dozens pressing us to return soon, many with tears in their eyes. The\nblessing which the Lord has given to our ministry, seems to be very great.\n\nWe both see it fully the Lord's will to come here, though we do not see\nunder what circumstances. A brother has promised to take Bethesda Chapel\nfor us, and to be answerable for the payment of the rent: so that thus we\nshould have two large chapels.-I saw, again, two instances today, in which\nmy preaching has been blessed.\n\nMay 1. Brother Craik and I left this morning for Devonshire. May 2. I\npreached this evening at Bishopsteignton, and told the brethren, that, the\nLord willing, I should soon leave them. May 3. I saw several of the\nbrethren today, and felt so fully assured that it is the Lord's will that\nI should go to Bristol, that I told them so. This evening I had a meeting\nwith the three deacons, when I told them plainly about it; asking them, if\nthey see any thing wrong in me concerning this matter, to tell me of it.\nThey had nothing to say against it; yea, though much wishing me to stay,\nthey were convinced themselves that my going is of God.\n\nMay 4. I saw again several brethren today, and told them about my\nintention to go to Bristol. There is much sorrowing and sighing, but it\ndoes not move me in the least, though I desire to sympathize with them. I\nam still fully persuaded that the Lord will have us go to Bristol. May 5.\nOne other striking proof to my mind, that my leaving Teignmouth is of God,\nis, that some truly spiritual believers, though they much wish me to stay,\nthemselves see that I ought to go to Bristol.\n\nMay 7. Having received a letter from Bristol on May 5th, it was answered\ntoday in such a way that the Lord may have another opportunity, to prevent\nour going thither, if it be not of Him. Especially we will not move a\nsingle stone out of the way in our own strength, and much less still be\nguilty of a want of openness and plainness, nor would we wish by such\nmeans to obtain Bethesda chapel.\n\nMay 11. The Lord seems to try us about Bristol. There was reason to\nexpect a letter the day before yesterday, but none came; also today there\nis no letter. Even this is very good for us. Yea, I do wish most heartily\nthat we may not have Bethesda chapel, if it be not good for us.\n\nMay 15. Just when I was in prayer concerning Bristol, I was sent for to\ncome to Brother Craik. Two letters had arrived from Bristol. The brethren\nassembling at Gideon accept our offer to come under the conditions we have\nmade, i.e., for the present to consider us only as ministering among them,\nbut not in any fixed pastoral relationship, so that we may preach as we\nconsider it to be according to the mind of God, without reference to any\nrules among them; that the pew-rents should be done away with and that we\nshould go on, respecting the supply of our temporal wants, as in\nDevonshire. We intend, the Lord willing, to leave in about a week, though\nthere is nothing settled respecting Bethesda chapel.\n\nMay 16. I preached for the last time at Bishopsteignton, and took leave\nof the brethren. May 17. I went to Exmouth, and, after preaching, took\nleave of the brethren. May 21. I began today to take leave of the brethren\nat Teignmouth, calling on each of them. In the evening I went over to\nShaldon to take leave of the brethren, of whom brother Craik has had the\noversight. It has been a trying day. Much weeping on the part of the\nsaints. Were I not so fully persuaded that it is the will of God we should\ngo to Bristol, I should have been hardly able to bear it.\n\nMay 22. The brethren at Shaldon and Teignmouth say, that they expect us\nsoon back again. As far as I understand the way in which God deals with\nhis children, this seems very unlikely. In every respect we have seen the\nLord's goodness, and all proves that it is His will that we should go to\nBristol. This full persuasion has helped me to withstand all the tears of\nthe saints. Towards the evening the Lord, after repeated prayer, gave me\nCol. i. 21-23, as a text, for the last word of exhortation. It seemed to\nme best to speak as little as possible about myself, and as much as\npossible about Christ. I scarcely alluded to our separation, and only\ncommended myself and the brethren, in the concluding prayer, to the Lord.\nThe parting scenes are very trying, but my full persuasion is, that the\nseparation is of the Lord.\n\nMay 23. My beloved wife, Mr. Groves, my father-in-law, and I left this\nmorning for Exeter. Dear brother Craik intends to follow us tomorrow.\n\nReview of the time since I left London, up to my removal from Teignmouth.\n\nI. All this time the Lord never allowed me to regret the step I had\ntaken, in separating from the Society.\n\nII. The results have most abundantly shown, that it was of God; for, by\nHis help, 1, I have not lost in truth or grace since. 2, I have been in\npeace concerning the matter. 3, the Lord made it a blessing to many souls.\n\nIII. During this period it pleased the Lord, to convert, through my\ninstrumentality, many souls at Teignmouth, Exmouth, Bishopsteignton,\nExeter, Chudleigh, in the neighbourhood of Barnstaple, at Chard, and\nelsewhere. The church at Teignmouth increased from eighteen to fifty-one.\n\nIV. The Lord most graciously supplied all my temporal wants during this\nperiod, so that I lacked no good thing.\n\nV. We had unexpectedly received, just before we left Teignmouth, about\nL15., else we should not have been able to defray all the expenses\nconnected with leaving, traveling, &c. By this also the Lord showed His\nmind concerning our going to Bristol.\n\nVI. During these two years and five months, since I left London, I have\nsinned in many respects, though walking, it may be, in the eyes of the\nbrethren, very near to God. Indeed, my confession concerning this time\nalso is, that I have been an unprofitable servant.\n\nThe following record will now show to the believing reader how far, what\nI have said concerning my persuasion, that it was the will of God that we\nshould go to Bristol, has been proved by facts.\n\nMay 25th, 1832. This evening we arrived in Bristol. May 27. This morning\nwe received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in Devonshire,\nwhich we take as an earnest that the Lord will provide for us here also.\nMay 28. When we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage the\ntemporal affairs of Gideon chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, having\nall the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a\nmatter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother Craik and I\nhad thought; we found that the Lord had so graciously ordered this matter\nfor us, that there was not the least objection on the part of these\nbrethren.\n\nJune 4. For several days we have been looking about for lodgings, but\nfinding none plain and cheap enough, we were led to make this also a\nsubject of earnest prayer; and now, immediately afterwards, the Lord has\ngiven us such as are suitable. They are the plainest and cheapest we can\nfind, but still too good for servants of Jesus, as our Master had not\nwhere to lay His head. We pay only 18s. a week for two sitting-rooms and\nthree bedrooms, coals and attendance. It was particularly difficult to\nfind cheap furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same house, which\nwe need, as brother Craik and we live together. How good is the Lord to\nhave thus appeared for us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragement\nto commit every thing to Him in prayer!\n\nJune 5. Today we had already a testimony of a sinner having been\nconverted by brother Craik's instrumentality, on the first Lord's day in\nApril, simply through hearing the text read. [This aged sister lived\neleven years afterwards, during which time her walk was according to the\nprofession she made. She fell asleep in 1843.] June 7. We have daily fresh\nencouragements, and fresh proofs that our being here is of God. June 16.\nWe saw another instance of conversion through brother Craik's\ninstrumentality.\n\nJune 25. Today it was finally settled to take Bethesda chapel for a\ntwelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with the\nunderstanding, that, if the Lord shall bless our labours in that place, so\nthat believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them to\nhelp him; but, if not, that he will pay all. This was the only way in\nwhich we could take the chapel; for we could not think it to be of God to\nhave had this chapel, though there should have been every prospect of\nusefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. We had tried to obtain a\ncheaper meeting-place, but could find none large enough to accommodate the\nhearers.\n\nJuly 6. Today we commenced preaching at Bethesda Chapel. It was a good\nday. July 13. Today we heard of the first cases of cholera in Bristol.\nJuly 16. This evening, from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed for\nconversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals, who wished to\nspeak to us about their souls. There were so many, that we were engaged\nfrom six till twenty minutes past ten.\n\nThese meetings we have continued ever since twice a week, or once a week,\nor once a fortnight, or once a month, as our strength and time allowed it,\nor as they seemed needed. We have found them beneficial in the following\nrespects:\n\n1. Many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at an\nappointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in our\nown house. 2. The very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to\nconverse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, has\nbrought some, who, humanly speaking, never would have called on us under\nother circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though they\nthought they were concerned about the things of God, yet were completely\nignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. 3.\nThese meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in the\nwork, for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of the\nWord had done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found to be\nthe reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have been\nafresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the Lord, and to continue\nsowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases, in which\nthe Lord had condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as in\nthis way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals have\nspoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry, not\nonly a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four years\nbefore.\n\nFor the above reasons I would particularly recommend to other servants of\nChrist, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have not\nalready introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be well\nfor them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. Those\nmeetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright, to\nall those who come, according to their different need; and one is led\ncontinually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for these\nthings, but that our sufficiency can be alone of God. These meetings also\nhave been by far the most wearing out part of all our work, though at the\nsame time the most refreshing.\n\nJuly 18. Today I spent the whole morning in the vestry, to procure a\nquiet season. This has now for some time been the only way, on account of\nthe multiplicity of engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, reading\nthe Word and meditation. July 19. I spent from half-past nine till one in\nthe vestry, and had real communion with the Lord. The Lord be praised, who\nhas put it into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirement!\n\nAugust 5. When all our money was gone today, the Lord again graciously\nsupplied our wants. August 6. This afternoon, from two till after six,\nbrother Craik and I spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. We have had\nagain, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labours, abundant\nreason brought before us to praise the Lord for having sent us to Bristol.\n\nAugust 13, 1832. This evening one brother and four sisters united with\nbrother Craik and me in church fellowship at Bethesda, without any rules,\ndesiring only to act as the Lord shall be pleased to give us light through\nHis word.\n\nAugust 14. This day we set apart for prayer concerning the cholera, and\nhad three meetings.\n\nAugust 17. This morning, from six to eight, we had a prayer meeting at\nGideon, on account of the cholera. Between two and three hundred people\nwere present. [We continued these meetings every morning, as long as the\ncholera raged in Bristol, and afterwards changed them into prayer meetings\nfor the church at large, so that we had them for about four months.]\n\nAugust 24. This morning a sister in the Lord, within fifty yards of our\nlodging, was taken ill in the cholera, and died this afternoon. Her\nhusband, also a believer, has been attacked, and may be near death. The\nravages of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful. We have\nreason to believe that great numbers die daily in this city. Who may be\nthe next, God alone knows. I have never realised so much the nearness of\ndeath. Except the Lord keep us this night, we shall be no more in the land\nof the living tomorrow. Just now, ten in the evening, the funeral bell is\nringing, and has been ringing the greater part of this evening. It rings\nalmost all the day. Into Thine hands, O Lord, I commend myself! Here is\nThy poor worthless child! If this night I should be taken in the cholera,\nmy only hope and trust is in the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for the\nremission of all my many sins. I have been thoroughly washed in it, and\nthe righteousness of God covers me.--As yet there have not been any of the\nsaints, among whom brother Craik and I labour, taken in the cholera. [Only\none of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this disease. I would\nobserve, that though brother Craik and I visited many cholera cases, by\nday and by night, yet the Lord most graciously preserved us and our\nfamilies from it.]\n\nSeptember 17. This morning the Lord, in addition to all His other\nmercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, are doing well.\n\nSeptember 21. On account of the birth of our little one, and brother\nCraik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, as\nthey will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more.\nJust when we were thinking about this, the house belonging to Gideon\nchapel, which had been let for three years, was unexpectedly given up by\nthe tenant, and it was now offered to us by the church. We said we could\nnot think of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to buy\nany. The brother who proposed our going into that house, however, replied\nthat the brethren would gladly furnish it for us, to which we objected,\nfearing it would burthen them. When, however, the matter was repeatedly\nmentioned, and when it was particularly expressed that it would be a\npleasure to the brethren to furnish the house, we began to consider the\nsubject in prayer, and we saw no scriptural objection to accept this\nkindness, provided the furniture was very plain. This was promised. The\nhouse was furnished, yet the love of the brethren had done it more\nexpensively than we wished it.\n\nSeptember 23. Today an individual desired publicly to return thanks to\nthe Lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother,\nbrother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month.\n\nSeptember 25. Last night brother Craik and I were called out of bed to a\npoor woman ill in the cholera. She was suffering intensely. We never saw a\ncase so distressing. We could hardly say any thing to her on account of\nher loud cries. I felt as if the cholera was coming upon me. We commended\nourselves into the hands of the Lord when we came home, and He mercifully\npreserved us. The poor woman died today.\n\nOct. 1. A meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. Many\nmore are convinced of sin through brother Craik's preaching than my own.\nThis circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probably\nthese:--1. That brother Craik is more spiritually minded than I am. 2.\nThat he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than I do. 3.\nThat he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public\nministrations, than I do.--This led me to more frequent and earnest prayer\nfor the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as\nsuch. The latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not\nbeen so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik. Since\nthen, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to use me as an\ninstrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother\nCraik has been used. May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means to\nlead any of His servants, who may not have acted according to these two\nlast points, to seek to do so, and may He graciously enable me to do so\nmore abundantly!\n\nOctober 3. This day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholera\nhaving decreased. Oct. 5. Prayer meeting this morning as usual. The\ncholera is very much decreasing, and the number at our morning prayer\nmeetings likewise.--Hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, but\nmany of them, when the judgment of God had passed away, cared no longer\nabout their souls. Yet a goodly number, who were first led through the\ninstrumentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now breaking bread\nwith us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord. How merciful in its\nresults has this heavy judgment been to many!\n\nJanuary 4, 1833. This morning we received letters from Bagdad. The\nmissionary brethren there invite brother Craik and me to come and join\nthem in their labours. The invitation was accompanied by drafts to the\namount of L200., for our traveling expenses. What wilt Thou have me to do,\ngracious Lord? I do not know what may be the Lord's mind. There are\npoints which ought to be much considered and prayed over: There are German\nvillages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour; upon our going,\nthat of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at Bagdad are\nof one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; the\ngoing out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting in\nthe Lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony for\nHim; I have had for years a feeling as if one day I should go out as a\nmissionary to the heathen or Mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of the\nbrethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points, which must\nappear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of our\nwork here, before I can determine not to go.\n\nJanuary 5. I considered with brother Craik about going to Bagdad. We see\nnothing clearly. If the Lord will have me to go, here I am. January 7. I\nspent again some time in prayer, respecting our going to Bagdad, and\nexamined more fully into it. January 8. I had from half-past five till\neight this morning to myself in prayer and reading the Word. I prayed\nthen, and repeatedly besides this day, respecting our going to Bagdad. I\nwrote also a letter to some believers at and near Barnstaple, to ask their\nprayers concerning this matter. I do not see more clearly than I did\nbefore. January 9. I again asked the Lord concerning Bagdad, but see\nnothing clearly respecting it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post,\nunless He Himself should most evidently take me away, and I did not feel\nafterwards my remaining here to be against His will. January 14. I feel\nmore and more satisfied that it is not of the Lord that I should go to\nBagdad. January 19. For some days past I have been reading brother Groves'\njournal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the sake of information\nrespecting his position there, and also, if it please the Lord, that He\nmay use this as a means to show me clearly wether I should go or stay.\nBlessed be His name that I have no desire of my own in this matter!\n[Forty-seven years have since passed away, and I think I may say this\nday still, according to the best of my knowledge, I had no desire of my\nown in this matter; but I never saw it to be the Lord's will to leave the\nwork which He Himself had so evidently given me.]\n\nFebruary 9. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord graciously help me\nto follow him, as far as he followed Christ. The greater part of the\nLord's people whom we know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were to\ngive us grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might draw much\nmore than we have as yet done out of our Heavenly Father's bank, for our\npoor brethren and sisters.\n\nMay 27. Today the two churches, assembling at Gideon and Bethesda, met\ntogether at tea.--These meetings we have often repeated, and found them\nprofitable on several accounts. 1. They give a testimony to the world of\nthe love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus together to\npartake of a meal. 2. Such meetings may be instrumental in uniting the\nsaints more and more together. 3. They give us a sweet foretaste of our\nmeeting together at the marriage supper of the Lamb.--At these meetings we\npray and sing together, and any brother has an opportunity to speak what\nmay tend to the edification of the rest.\n\nMay 28. This morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of several\nbrethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and I said to myself, \"Oh\nthat it might please the Lord to give me means to help them!\" About an\nhour afterwards I received L60. from a brother, whom up to this day I\nnever saw, and who then lived, as he does still, at a distance of several\nthousand miles. This shows how the Lord can provide in any way for His\npeople, and that He is not confined to places. Oh that my heart might\noverflow with gratitude to the Lord! [Since the first edition was printed,\nI have become personally acquainted with the donor.]\n\nMay 29. Review of the last twelve months, since we have been in Bristol,\nas it regards the fruits of our labours. 1. It has pleased the Lord to\ngather a church, through our instrumentality, at Bethesda, which is\nincreased to 60 in number, and there have been added to Gideon church 49;\ntherefore the total number of those added to us within the year, has been\n109. 2. There have been converted through our instrumentality, so far as\nwe have heard and can judge respecting the individuals, 65. 3. Many\nbacksliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of God have been\nencouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. What clear proofs that we\nwere not suffered to be mistaken, as it regards our coming to Bristol.\n\nJune 12. I felt, this morning, that we might do something for the souls\nof those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we have\ndaily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them,\nreading the Scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the Lord. As\nfar as I see at present, it appears well to me to take a place in the\nmidst of those poor streets near us, to collect the children in the\nmorning about eight, giving them each a piece of bread for breakfast, and\nthen to teach them to read, or to read the Scriptures to them, for about\nan hour and a half. Afterwards the aged, or grown-up people, may have\ntheir appointed time, when bread may be given to them, and the Scriptures\nread and expounded to them, for, perhaps, half an hour. About similar\nthings I have now and then thought these two years.--There was bread given\nto about 30 or 40 persons today; and though the number should increase, in\nthe above way, to 200 or more, surely our gracious and rich Lord can give\nus bread for them also. No sooner had these thoughts arisen, and I\ncommunicated them to my dear brother Craik, than I was also directed to a\nplace where the people may be assembled, holding comfortably 150 children.\nWe went about it, and may have it at the rent of 10l., yearly. The Lord\ndirected us, also, to an aged brother as a teacher, and he gladly accepted\nof our offer. Surely, this matter seems to be of God. Moreover, as I have\njust now a good deal of money left of the 60l., we have wherewith to\nbegin; and if it be the Lord's will, and if He will accept it, I am\nwilling to lay out at once 20l. of it in this way, yea, all that is left,\nif He will but speak; and, by the time that this is gone, He can send\nmore. O Lord, if this matter be of Thee, then prosper it! [This desire was\nnot carried out. As far as I remember, the chief obstacle in the way was a\npressure of work coming upon brother Craik and me just about that time.\nShortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread increased to\nbetween 60 and 80 a day, whereby our neighbours were molested, as the\nbeggars were lying about in troops in the streets, on account of which we\nwere obliged to tell them no longer to come for bread. But though, at this\ntime, this matter was not carried out, the thought was, from time to time,\nrevived and strengthened in my mind, and it ultimately issued in the\nformation of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and in the\nestablishment of the Orphan-Houses.]\n\nJune 22. A brother sent a hat to brother Craik, and one to me, as a token\nof his love and gratitude, like a thank-offering, as he says. This is now\nthe fourth hat which the Lord has kindly sent me successively, whenever,\nor even before, I needed one. Between August 19th and 27th was sent to us,\nby several individuals, a considerable quantity of fruit. How very kind of\nthe Lord, not merely to send us the necessaries of life, but even such\nthings as, on account of the weakness of our bodies, or the want of\nappetite, we might have desired! Thus the Lord has sent wine or porter\nwhen we required it; or, when there was want of appetite, and, on account\nof the poverty of our brethren, we should not have considered it right to\nspend money upon such things, He has kindly sent fowls, game, &c., to suit\nour appetite. We have, indeed, not served a hard Master. I am quite\nashamed when I still, sometimes, find my heart dissatisfied, or, at least,\nnot grateful as it ought to be.\n\nDecember 17. This evening brother Craik and I took tea with a family, of\nwhom five have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our\ninstrumentality. [When we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonth\nafterwards, the number had increased to seven.] As an encouragement to\nbrethren who may desire to preach the Gospel in a language not their own,\nI would mention, that the first member of this family who was converted,\ncame merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words having\nbeen mentioned to her which I did not pronounce properly. Scarcely had she\nentered the chapel, when she was led to see herself a sinner. Her\nintention had been, to stay only a few minutes. But she felt herself as if\nbound to the seat whilst I was speaking, and remained to the close of the\nmeeting. She then went hastily home, instead of pursuing her pleasures,\nwashed the paint off her face, stayed at home that Lord's day, till the\nmeeting began again, and from that day was truly converted. Having found\nthe Lord, she entreated her brothers and sisters to go and hear the Gospel\npreached, who, in doing so, were likewise converted. May my dear\nmissionary brethren always be mindful that the Lord can bless a few broken\nsentences, however badly the words are pronounced, as a means in the\nconversion of sinners!\n\nDecember 31, 1833. In looking over my journal, I find:--I. That at least\n260 persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, but\nthere have been many more,) have come to converse with us about the\nconcerns of their souls. Out of these, 153 have been added to us in\nfellowship these last eighteen months, 60 of whom have been brought to the\nknowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality. Besides these 60, five\nhave fallen asleep before they were received into communion. In addition\nto these, there are many among the inquirers and candidates for\nfellowship, whom we have reason to believe God has given to us as seals to\nour ministry in this city. Some also were converted through our\ninstrumentality who are in fellowship with other churches in this city.\n\nII. In looking over the Lord's dealings with me as to temporal things, I\nfind that He has sent me, during the past year,--\n\n1. In freewill offerings through the boxes, as my part L152 14s. 5 1/4d.\n\n2. Presents in money given to me L25 1s. 3d.\n\n3. Presents in clothes and provisions worth at least L20 0s. 0d.\n\nAltogether from the brethren in Bristol L197 15s. 8 1/4d.\n\n4. A brother sent me, from a distance of several thousand miles L60 0s. 0d.\n\n5. We live free of rent, which is worth for our part L10 0s. 0d.\n\nTotaling L267 15s 8 1/4d.\n\nIt is just now four years since I first began to trust in the Lord alone\nfor the supply of my temporal wants. My little all I then had, at most\nworth 100l. a year, I gave up to the Lord, having then nothing left but\nabout 5l. The Lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and He gave me,\nin return, not only as much as I had given up, but considerably more. For\nduring the first year, He sent me already, in one way or other, (including\nwhat came to me through family connexion) about 130l. During the second\nyear, 151l. 18s. 8d. During the third year, 195l. 3s. During this year,\n267l. 15s. 8 1/4d. The following points require particular notice:--1.\nDuring the last three years and three months I never have asked any one\nfor any thing; but, by the help of the Lord, I have been enabled at all\ntimes to bring my wants to Him, and He graciously has supplied them all.\nAnd thus, the Lord helping me, I hope to be enabled to go on to the last\nmoment of my life. 2. At the close of each of these four years, though my\nincome has been comparatively great, I have had only a few shillings, or\nnothing at all left; and thus it is also today, by the help of God. 3.\nDuring the last year a considerable part of my income has come from a\ndistance of several thousand miles, from a brother whom I never saw. 4.\nSince we have been obliged to discontinue the giving away bread to about\n50 poor people every day, on account of our neighbours, our income has not\nbeen, during the second part of this year, nearly so great, scarcely\none-half as much, as during the first part of it; as if the Lord\nwould thereby show us that when the calls upon us are many, He is able\nto send in accordingly. Observe this!\n\nJanuary 1, 1834. It seemed well to brother Craik and me, to have an\nespecial public meeting for thanksgiving to the Lord, for His many mercies\ntowards us since we have been in Bristol, and for the great success which\nit has pleased Him to grant to our labours; and also for confession of our\nsinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat Him to continue His goodness\ntowards us. Accordingly we met last evening, and continued together from\nseven o'clock till half-past twelve. About four hundred individuals, or\nmore, met with us on the occasion.\n\nJanuary 3. This evening, from six to a quarter past ten, we conversed\nwith inquirers. After we had seen twelve, we had to send away six. There\nwere several fresh cases of conversion among them. The work of the Lord is\nstill going on among us. One of the individuals, who has lately been\nbrought to the knowledge of the truth, used to say in his unconverted\nstate, when he was tempted not to go to the chapel,--\"I will go; the Lord\nmay bless me one day, and soften my hard heart. \"--His expectation has not\ncome to nothing.\n\nJanuary 9. Brother Craik and I have preached during these eighteen\nmonths, once a month, at Brislington, a village near Bristol, but have not\nseen any fruit of our labours there. This led me, today, very earnestly to\npray to the Lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. I was also,\nin the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the Lord\nin particular that He would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this\nevening, that we might have a little encouragement. I preached with much\nhelp, and I hope there has been good done this evening. [The Lord did\naccording to my request. There was, that evening, a young man brought to\nthe knowledge of the truth.]\n\nJanuary 13. The Lord verified in our experience the truths which I had\npreached last evening in speaking on \"Hast thou not made an hedge about\nhim, and about his house, and about all that he hath, on every side?\" Job\ni. 10. Thieves attempted to break into Gideon Chapel. They had broken it\nopen, but were either smitten with blindness, so as not to see a certain\ndoor which had been left unlocked, or were disturbed before accomplishing\ntheir design; for there was nothing missing.\n\nJanuary 14. I was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text,\nfrom which to preach, on the morning of October 20, and at last preached\nwithout enjoyment. Today I heard of a NINTH instance in which this very\nsermon has been blessed. May my brethren in the ministry of the Word be\nencouraged by this to go quietly, yet prayerfully, forward in the work of\nthe Lord!\n\nJanuary 31. This evening a Dorcas Society was formed among the sisters in\ncommunion with us, but not according to the manner in which we found one\nwhen we came to Bristol; for as we have dismissed all teachers from the\nSunday School who were not believers, so now believing females only will\nmeet together to make clothes for the poor. The being mixed up with\nunbelievers had not only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation among\nthe sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties in several\nrespects. One sister, now united to us in fellowship, acknowledged that\nthe being connected with the Dorcas Society, previous to her conversion,\nhad been, in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as she\nthought, that, by helping on such like things, she might gain heaven at\nlast. Oh that the saints in faithful love, according to the word of God,\n(2 Cor. vi. 14-18) might be more separated, in all spiritual matters, from\nunbelievers, and not be unequally yoked together with them!\n\nFebruary 12. I prayed little, read little of the Word, and laboured\nlittle to day. On the whole an unprofitable day. May the Lord in mercy\ngive me fervency of spirit!\n\nFebruary 19. Brother Craik preached this evening on Mark iv. 30-41, and\nwas enabled to give out precious truths. Oh that I did feed more upon\nthem! For several weeks I have had very little real communion with the\nLord. I long for it. I am cold. I have little love to the Lord. But I am\nnot, yea, I cannot be satisfied with such a state of heart. Oh that once\nmore I might be brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it might\ncontinue with me forever! I long to go home that I maybe with the Lord,\nand that I may love Him with all my heart. I fear that the Lord will\nchastise me at the time of my dear wife's confinement. Lord Jesus, take\nThy miserable sinful servant soon to Thyself, that I may serve Thee\nbetter! Within the last week I have repeatedly set out, as it were,\nafresh; but soon, very soon, all has come again to nothing. The Lord alone\ncan help me. Oh that it might please Him to bring me into a more spiritual\nstate!\n\nFebruary 20. By the mercy of God I was today melted into tears on account\nof my state of heart. Oh that it might please the Lord to bring me into a\nmore spiritual state! February 21. Through the help of the Lord I am\nrather in a better state of heart than for some time past.--I was led this\nmorning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, an\nInstitution for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. I trust this\nmatter is of God.--This evening we had again, from six to half-past ten, a\nmeeting with inquirers. The work of the Lord is going on among us as much\nas ever. Oh that our hearts might overflow with gratitude! Even after we\nwere worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but had to send away\nseveral individuals.\n\nFebruary 25. The inquiries were so many yesterday, that though we\nconversed more than four hours with them, we had to appoint another\nmeeting for today, and saw again several from two till five. I was led\nagain this day to pray about the forming of a new Missionary Institution,\nand felt still more confirmed that we should do so.\n\n[Some readers may ask why we formed a new Institution for the spread of\nthe Gospel, and why we did not unite with some of the religious societies,\nalready in existence, seeing that there are several Missionary-, Bible-,\nTract-, and School Societies. I give, therefore, our reasons, in order to\nshow, that nothing but the desire to maintain a good conscience led us to\nact as we did. For as, by the grace of God, we acknowledged the word of\nGod as the only rule of action for the disciples of the Lord Jesus, we\nfound, in comparing the then existing religious Societies with the word of\nGod, that they departed so far from it, that we could not be united with\nthem, and yet maintain a good conscience. I only mention here the\nfollowing points.\n\n1. The end which these religious societies propose to themselves, and\nwhich is constantly put before their members, is, that the world will\ngradually become better and better, and that at last the whole world will\nbe converted. To this end there is constantly reference made to the\npassage in Habakkuk ii. 14. \"For the earth shall be filled with the\nknowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea,\" or the\none in Isaiah xi. 9, \"For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the\nLord, as the waters cover the sea.\" But that these passages can have no\nreference to the present dispensation, but to the one which will commence\nwith the return of the Lord, that in the present dispensation things will\nnot become spiritually better, but rather worse, and that in the present\ndispensation it is not the whole world that will be converted, but only a\npeople gathered out from among the Gentiles for the Lord, is clear from\nmany passages of the divine testimony, of which I only refer to the\nfollowing: Matt. xiii. 24-30, and verse 36-43, 2 Tim. iii. 1-13, Acts. xv.\n14.\n\nA hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and earnest prayer for it\nto the Lord, is quite scriptural; but it is unscriptural to expect the\nconversion of the whole world. Such an end we could not propose to\nourselves in the service of the Lord.\n\n2. But that which is worse, is the connexion of those religious societies\nwith the world, which is completely contrary to the word of God (2 Cor.\nvi. 14-18). In temporal things the children of God need, whilst they\nremain here on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to be\ndone requires, that those who attend to it should be possessed of\nspiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly destitute), the children\nof God are bound, by their loyalty to their Lord, entirely to refrain from\nassociation with the unregenerate. But alas! The connexion with the world\nis but too marked in these religious societies; for every one who pays a\nguinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is considered as a member.\nAlthough such an individual may live in sin; although he may manifest to\nevery one that he does not know the Lord Jesus; if only the guinea or the\nhalf-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and has a right as such to\nvote. Moreover, whoever pays a larger sum, for instance, L10. or L20. can\nbe, in many societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his life\nshould be for the time, or should became afterwards. Surely, such things\naught not to be!\n\n3. The means which are made use of in these religious societies, to\nobtain money for the work of the Lord, are also, in other respects,\nunscriptural; for it is a most common case to ask the unconverted for\nmoney, which even Abraham would not have done (Genesis xiv. 21-24): and\nhow much less should we do it, who are not only forbidden to have\nfellowship with unbelievers in all such matters (2 Cor. vi. 14-18), but\nwho are also in fellowship with the Father and the Son, and can therefore\nobtain everything from the Lord which we possibly can need in His service,\nwithout being obliged to go to the unconverted world! How altogether\ndifferently the first disciples acted in this respect, we learn from 3\nJohn 7.\n\n4. Not merely, however, in these particulars is there a connexion with\nthe world in these religious societies; but it is not a rare thing for\neven Committee Members (the individuals who manage the affairs of the\nsocieties) to be manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies to\nthe truth; and this is suffered because they are rich, or of influence, as\nit is called.\n\n5. It is a most common thing to endeavour to obtain for patrons and\npresidents of these societies, and for chairmen at the public meetings,\npersons of rank or wealth to attract the public. Never once have I known a\ncase of a POOR, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of Christ\nbeing invited to fill the chair at such public meetings. Surely, the\nGalilean fishermen, who were apostles, or our Lord Himself, who was called\nthe carpenter, would not have been called to this office, according to\nthese principles. These things ought not so to be among the disciples of\nthe Lord Jesus, who should not judge with reference to a person's fitness\nfor service in the Church of Christ by the position he fills in the world,\nor by the wealth he possesses!\n\n6. Almost all these societies contract debts, so that it is a\ncomparatively rare case to read a Report of any of them, without finding\nthat they have expended more than they have received, which, however, is\ncontrary both to the spirit and to the letter of the New Testament. (Rom.\nxiii. 8).\n\nNow, although brother Craik and I were ready, by the grace of God,\nheartily to acknowledge that there are not only many true children of God\nconnected with these religious societies, but that the Lord has also\nblessed their efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence of\nthese and other principles and practices which we judged to be\nunscriptural, yet it appeared to us to be His will, that we should be\nentirely separate from these societies, (though we should be considered as\nsingular persons, or though it should even appear that we despised other\npersons, or would elevate ourselves above them), in order that, by the\nblessing of God, we might direct the attention of the children of God in\nthese societies to their unscriptural practices; and we would rather be\nentirely unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the Holy\nScriptures. We therefore separated entirely from them, although we\nremained united in brotherly love with individual believers belonging to\nthem; and would by no means judge them for remaining in connexion with\nthem, if they do not see that such things are contrary to Scripture. But\nseeing them to be so ourselves, we could not with a clear conscience\nremain. After we had thus gone on for some time, we considered that it\nwould have an injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we laboured,\nand also be at variance with the spirit of the Gospel of Christ, if we did\nnothing at all for Missionary objects, the circulation of the Holy\nScriptures, Tracts, etc.; and we were therefore led for these and other\nreasons to do something for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad,\nhowever small the beginning might be. This was the origin of the\nInstitution, of which the following part of my Narrative speaks.]\n\nMarch 5. This evening, at a public meeting, brother Craik and I stated\nthe principles on which we intend to carry on the institution which we\npropose to establish for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad.\nThere was nothing outwardly influential, either in the number of people\npresent, or in our speeches. May the Lord graciously be pleased to grant\nHis blessing upon the institution, which will be called \"The Scriptural\nKnowledge Institutions for Home and Abroad.\"\n\nI. THE PRINCIPLES OF THE INSTITUTION.\n\n1. We consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the\ncause of Christ, and we have Scriptural warrant for expecting the Lord's\nblessing upon our work of faith and labour of love: and although,\naccording to Matt. xiii. 24-43, 2 Tim. iii. 1-13, and many other passages,\nthe world will not be converted before the coming of our Lord Jesus,\nstill, while He tarries; all Scriptural means ought to be employed for the\ningathering of the elect of God.\n\n2. The Lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the\nworld; i.e., we never intend to ask unconverted persons of rank or wealth\nto countenance this Institution, because this, we consider, would be\ndishonourable to the Lord. In the name of our God we set up our banners,\nPs. xx. 5; He alone shall be our Patron, and if He helps us we shall\nprosper, and if He is not on our side, we shall not succeed.\n\n3. We do not mean, to ask unbelievers for money (2 Cor. vi. 14-18);\nthough we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions,\nif they, of their own accord should offer them. Acts xxviii. 2-10.\n\n4. We reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying\non the affairs of the Institution. 2 Cor, vi. 14-18.\n\n5. We intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts\n(Rom. xiii. 8), and afterwards appealing to the Church of Christ for help,\nbecause this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit\nof the New Testament; but in secret prayer, God helping us, we shall carry\nthe wants of the Institution to the Lord, and act according to the means\nthat God shall give.\n\n6. We do not mean to reckon the success of the Institution by the amount\nof money given, or the number of Bibles distributed, &c, but by the Lord's\nblessing upon the work (Zech. iv. 6); and we expect this, in the\nproportion in which He shall help us to wait upon Him in prayer.\n\n7. While we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to\ngo on simply according to Scripture, without compromising the truth; at\nthe same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced\nBelievers, after prayer, upon Scriptural ground, may have to give us\nconcerning the Institution.\n\nII. THE OBJECTS OF THE INSTITUTION ARE:\n\n1. To assist Day-Schools, Sunday-Schools, and Adult-Schools, in which\ninstruction is given upon Scriptural principles, and, as far as the Lord\nmay give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other\nrespects make our path plain, to establish Schools of this kind.\n\na. By Day-Schools upon Scriptural principles, we understand Day Schools\nin which the teachers are godly persons,--in which the way of salvation is\nscripturally pointed out,--and in which no instruction is given opposed to\nthe principles of the gospel.\n\nb. Sunday-Schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which\nthe Holy Scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction,--are such\nonly as the Institution assists with the supply of Bibles, Testaments,\n&c.; for we consider it unscriptural, that any persons, who do not profess\nto know the Lord themselves, should be allowed to give religious\ninstruction.\n\nc. The Institution does not assist any Adult-Schools with the supply of\nBibles, Testaments, Spelling Books, &c., except the teachers are believers.\n\n2. To circulate the Holy Scriptures.\n\nWe sell Bibles and Testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. But\nwhile we, in general, think it better that the Scriptures should be sold,\nand not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we\nthink it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition.\n\n3. The third object of this Institution is, to aid Missionary efforts.\n\nWe desire to assist those Missionaries whose proceedings appear to be\nmost according to the Scriptures. It is proposed to give such a portion of\nthe amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as the\nLord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particular\nassistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so, that if any\ndonor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shall\nbe appropriated accordingly.\n\nMarch 7. Today we have only one shilling left. Many times also in Bristol\nour purse has been either empty or nearly so, though we have not been\nbrought quite so low as it regards provisions, as was sometimes the case\nat Teignmouth. This evening, when we came home from our work, we found a\nbrother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothes\nboth for brother Craik and me, which a brother, whose name was not to be\nmentioned, had ordered for us. March 8. Our brother brought us this\nevening also, from the same friend, a new hat for each of us.\n\nMarch 10. Some time since, a brother who had been brought to the\nknowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality, having been previously\nguilty of habitual drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tears\nour prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself formerly, was still\ngiven to drinking, and who grew worse and worse. About ten days, after he\nhad spoken to us, it pleased God to begin a work of grace in her heart, in\nanswer to the many prayers of her husband, and this evening she was added\nto us in fellowship. There have come many instances before us, since we\nhave been in Bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given to\nbelieving ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such as had\nthreatened to murder their wives, or leave them, they would still continue\nto go to our chapels.\n\nMarch 19. This afternoon at five, my wife was in much pain, which she\nshortly afterwards considered as the token of her hour being near. I\ntherefore set off to call in a sister, and then I went for the nurse, and\nmy wife's sister, and our servant, who were at Clifton. The Lord having\ngraciously speeded all this, I went to Bethesda Chapel, where I had to\npreach shortly after. I thought it better to spend the few minutes, which\nI had before preaching, in prayer for my wife, than to return home again,\nas I should have had to set off directly afterwards, believing that my\nmind would be thus more quiet and calm, and that I also might thus help my\ndearest wife much more effectually. The Lord most graciously kept me from\nexcitement and anxiety, so that I went in peace, preached in peace, and\nwalked home in peace, looking up to Jesus to prepare me for all that might\nawait me, as I remembered but too well the two former times of my wife's\nconfinement. I might have asked brother Craik to preach, and have gone\nhome; but I thought it more honouring the Lord to do His work. In walking\nhome, the following words were a particular refreshment to me:--\n\nMake you His service your delight,\n\nYour wants shall be His care.\n\nWhen I came home, I heard the joyful news, that all was over, and that my\ndear Mary had been delivered at twenty minutes past eight of a little boy.\nObserve! 1. The Lord graciously sent the medical attendant and the nurse\n(the latter nearly three miles off), in the right time. 2. The Lord put it\ninto my heart to honour Him, by preferring the care of His house to that\nof my own, and thus He lovingly spared me three painful hours. May He be\npleased to give me grace more than ever to love and serve Him!\n\nMarch 31. Today the brethren and sisters in communion at Bethesda dined\ntogether, having been invited by a sister; and in the evening the churches\nof Gideon and Bethesda took tea together. Both times were refreshing\nseasons. At dinner we were together from one till half past three, at tea\nfrom five to nine. Both times we prayed repeatedly, sang hymns, read a\nlittle of the Word, and several brethren spoke of the Lord's dealings with\nthem.\n\nApril 3. Today I have had again much reason to see how weak I am, and how\nprone to give way to every sin if I am not kept by God. May He have mercy\nupon me, and keep me from bringing an open disgrace upon His holy name! O\nwretched man that I am!!\n\nApril 14. Brother and sister Craik and ourselves have been living\ntogether hitherto; but now, as the Lord has given to them one child, and\nto us two, and there are but six rooms in our house, so that of late dear\nbrother Craik and I have had repeatedly to go to another house to be\nuninterrupted: we came at last to the conclusion, that it would be better\nfor our souls and the Lord's work that we should separate. April 15. Today\nI received from several sisters 25l. towards furnishing a house.\n\nApril 23. Yesterday and today I had asked the Lord to send us 20l., that\nwe might be able to procure a larger stock of Bibles and Testaments than\nour small funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution would allow us to\npurchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us that\nsum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the Holy\nScriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringing\nher to the knowledge of the Lord.\n\nApril 26. We have repeatedly conversed about the name which we should\ngive to our babe; but, being unsettled about it, and considering that in\nall our ways we ought to acknowledge the Lord, I gave myself today to\nprayer concerning this matter, and the name Elijah, about which I never\nhad thought, was particularly, whilst praying, impressed on my mind, and\ntherefore we intend to name the child Elijah, i. e., my God is Jah,\nJehovah. May the Lord in mercy grant Elijah's spirit and Elijah's blessing\nto our little one!\n\nMay 4. Today 15l. more was given to me towards furnishing a house. Thus\nthe Lord has now graciously supplied our need in this particular also. May\n13. Today 2l. more was given to us towards furnishing the house, and also\nsome carpet. May 15. Today we moved into our house, having lived nearly\ntwo years with brother and sister Craik.\n\nJune 4. Today a sister called on me, and I felt irritated at her staying,\nafter having given her to understand that I had but a few minutes time. I\nsinned thus against the Lord. Help Thou me, blessed Jesus, in future!\n\nJune 8. Lord's day. I obtained no text yesterday, notwithstanding\nrepeated prayer and reading of the Word. This morning I awoke with these\nwords:--\"My grace is sufficient for thee.\" As soon as I had dressed\nmyself, I turned to 2 Cor. xii. to consider this passage; but in doing so,\nafter prayer, I was led to think that I had not been directed to this\nportion for the sake of speaking on it as I at first thought, and I\ntherefore followed my usual practice in such cases, i. e., to read on in\nthe Scriptures where I left off last evening. In doing so, when I came to\nHeb. xi. 13-16, I felt that this was the text. Having prayed, I was\nconfirmed in it, and in a few minutes the Lord was pleased to open this\npassage to me. I preached on it with great enjoyment, both at Gideon and\nat Bethesda, particularly in the evening at Bethesda. This help was\nevidently from God. May He fill my heart with gratitude, and encourage me\nby this, to trust in Him for the future! I now understand why those\nwords, \"My grace is sufficient for thee,\" were brought to my mind when I\nawoke this morning.--[It pleased God, as I have heard since, greatly to\nbless what I said on that passage, and at least one soul was brought\nthrough it to the Lord.]\n\nJune 25. These last three days I have had very little real communion with\nGod, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several times\nfelt irritability of temper. May God in mercy help me to have more secret\nprayer!--Let none expect to have the mastery over his inward corruption in\nany degree, without going in his weakness again and again to the Lord for\nstrength. Nor will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren,\nmake up for secret prayer; for I had been engaged in both repeatedly,\nduring the three previous days, as my journal shows.\n\nJune 26. I was enabled, by the grace of God, to rise early, and I had\nnearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. I feel now this morning more\ncomfortable. May God in mercy help me to walk before Him this day, and to\ndo His work; and may He keep me from all evil!\n\nJuly 5. The Lord very mercifully kept us today from a great calamity, the\napron of our Christian servant having caught fire; but the fire was\nextinguished, and she was kept from being burned!\n\nJuly 11. I have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to be\nestablished in connexion with our little Institution. Eight have applied\nfor the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lord\nhas given us a brother, who will commence the work. The Lord allowed us to\ncall upon Him many times before He answered, but at last He granted our\nrequest.\n\nJuly 13. Today we finished reading through the Scriptures, at family\nprayer, the second time since we came to Bristol, which is little more\nthan two years. I mention this circumstance to show how often we may read\nthrough the whole of the Scriptures, though we should read but little\nevery day, if we go regularly onward.\n\nAugust 18. Today brother Craik and I engaged a sister to be governess of\nanother girls' school, which we intend to establish, in dependence upon\nthe Lord for supplies. August 27. I had prayed repeatedly, and had read\nten chapters of the Word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to go\nthis evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of His Holy\nWord the Lord would have me to speak. At the commencement of the meeting I\nwas directed to Lament. iii. 22-26, on which I spoke with much assistance\nand enjoyment.\n\nSeptember 18. A brother, a tailor, was sent to measure me for new\nclothes. My clothes are again getting old, and it is therefore very kind\nof the Lord to provide thus. September 25. A brother sent me a new hat\ntoday.\n\nOctober 9. Our little institution, established in dependence upon the\nLord, and supplied by Him with means, has now been seven months in\noperation, and through it have been benefited with instruction,--1. In the\nSunday-School, about 120 children. 2. In the Adult-School, about 40\nAdults. 3. In the two Day-Schools for boys and, the two Day-Schools for\ngirls, 209 children, of whom 54 have been entirely free; the others pay\nabout one-third of the expense. There have been also circulated 482\nBibles, and 520 New Testaments. Lastly, 57l. has been spent to aid\nmissionary exertions. The means which the Lord has sent us, as the fruit\nof many prayers, during these seven months, amount to 167l. 10s. 0 1/2d.\n\nOctober 28. This afternoon brother Craik and I took tea with seven\nbrethren and sisters, whom the Lord has brought to a knowledge of Himself\nthrough our instrumentality, within the last two years; all but one\nbelonging to the same family. We heard there a most affecting account of a\npoor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, and\nwho seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real\nconcern about his soul, through what I said concerning the torments of\nhell, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out of\nBristol. He has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our\nschool and ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to do\nsomething also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, the\npressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from our\nschool!\n\nNovember 1. Today, our means being completely gone, we had them supplied\nin the following manner:--some time since some silver spoons were given\nto us, which we never used, from the consideration, that for servants of\nChrist it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, and\nfor that reason we had sold our plate at Teignmouth. Yet up to this day\nthose spoons remained unsold. But now, as we wanted money, we disposed of\nthem, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doing\nso to supply our need.\n\nNovember 4. I spent the greater part of the morning in reading the Word\nand in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcely\nany money left.--We obtained today two large school-rooms, which we much\nneeded. Thus the Lord graciously helps us concerning the Institution, and\ngives us faith to go forward in the work, enlarging the field more and\nmore (though we have but little money), yet so that we do not contract\ndebts.\n\nNovember 5. I spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the\nWord. I prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, but\nthe Lord has not as yet appeared. Still my eyes are up to Him. November 8.\nSaturday. The Lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during\nthis week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. I have\nprayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as I\nremember, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not answered our\nprayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has supplied\nus through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was\nawed to us.\n\nDecember 10. Today we found that a departed brother had left both to\nbrother Craik and me 12l. December 31, 1834.--I. Since brother Craik and I\nhave been labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been added\nto us in fellowship. We found 68 believers in the church at Gideon, so\nthat now the whole number would be 295, had there been no changes, but it\nis only 257; for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left Bristol; twelve\nhave left the churches during the two years and six months, but are still\nin Bristol; eight are under church discipline, respecting some of whom,\nhowever, we hope that they maybe soon restored to communion. Of those 257,\nthere belong 125 to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church. Out of the\n227 who have been added to us, 103 have been converted through our\ninstrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of the\nGospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. Forty-seven young converts are at\nGideon, and fifty-six at Bethesda. Considering that some have fallen\nasleep who never were in communion with us, and yet converted through our\ninstrumentality; and that some are united to other churches in and out of\nBristol; and that many are now standing as candidates for fellowship, of\nthose who have been given to us in this city, as seals to our ministry;\nthe number added may be only one-half, or two-thirds of the real number.\nMay the Lord fill our hearts with gratitude, for having thus condescended\nto use us! II. The income which the Lord has given me during\nthis year is:--\n\n1. My part of the freewill offerings through the boxes L135 13s. 2 1/4d.\n\n2. Money given to me by saints in and out of Bristol L92 7s. 6d.\n\nAltogether. . . L228 0s. 8 1/4d.\n\n3. Besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture,\nworth to us about L60 0s. 0d.\n\nJanuary 1, 1835. We had last evening an especial prayer-meeting of the\ntwo churches, and any other persons hat chose to attend, for the sake of\npraising the Lord for all His many mercies which we have received during\nthe past year, and to ask Him to continue to us His favour during this\nyear also. It was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they felt\ndisposed, and eighteen did so, as I afterwards reckoned. We continued in\nprayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the Word, and exhortation,\nfrom seven in the evening till one in the morning. January 13. From ten\ntill one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eight\nthis evening, I visited, from house to house, the people living in Orange\nStreet, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to\nascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether they could read,\nwhether they wished their children to be put to our Day-Schools or\nSunday-School, with the view of helping them accordingly. This afforded\nopportunities to converse with them about their souls. In this way I sold\neight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices, and gave away one\nTestament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar, one boy as a day\nscholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about their\nsouls.--January 15. This morning, from ten till one, I went again from\nhouse to house in Orange Street. I visited nine houses, sold a Bible and\nTestament at reduced prices, and engaged, a few children for the\nschools, and conversed with fifteen persons about their souls. I\nshould greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it\nis a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, that\nwe can do but little in this way.--January 17. Today brother\nGroves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his coming to\nEngland is, to go to Germany to obtain missionary brethren for the\nEast Indies, having reason to believe that he will find them there; and\nhe asked me, on account of my acquaintance with the language, to\naccompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge about\nthe state of the brethren, and to communicate to them what\nhe thinks needful for them to know. This is a most\nimportant work. May the Lord direct me in this matter, and make me\nto act according to His will!--I received again today, after prayer\nrespecting the funds, 10l. for the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution.--January 21. Received, in answer to prayer, from an\nunexpected quarter, 5l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.\nThe Lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. For during the past\nweek, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eight\ncopies of the Scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going on\nwith which is most important, but it will require much means.\n\nJanuary 28. I have, for these several days, again prayed much to\nascertain whether the Lord will have me to go as a missionary to the East\nIndies, and I am most willing to go, if He will condescend to use me in\nthis way. January 29. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about going\nto Calcutta as a missionary. May the Lord guide me in this matter! [After\nall my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of 1835, and\nwillingness on my part to go, if it were the Lord's will, still He did not\nsend me.]\n\nFebruary 4. I have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of late\nrespecting my journey to the Continent. I desire to go, or not to go, just\nas the Lord will have it to be. May He graciously direct me! I feel the\nsame about going to India. As a means to ascertain the Lord's will, I have\nbeen reading about the Hindoos, that I may know more clearly the state in\nwhich they are. May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about their\nstate, whether it be His will that I should labour personally among them,\nor not!\n\nFebruary 16. I mentioned this evening, before the church at Bethesda, as\nalso on the 13th before the church at Gideon, that I see it the Lord's\nwill to go to the Continent, for the sake of assisting brother Groves by\nmy knowledge of the German language, in conferring with those who may\ndesire to go out as missionaries. There is not one believer amongst us who\nsees any objection to it, and several have expressed that it seems to be\nof the Lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forth\nof missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as the Lord confirms me\nstill more, through this unanimity, in its being His will that I should go.\n\nFebruary 25. In the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon Him alone\nfor support, we have established a fifth Day-School for poor children,\nwhich today has been opened. We have now two boys' schools, and three\ngirls' schools. February 26. This afternoon I left Bristol for the\nContinent.\n\nFebruary 27. London. This morning I went to the Alien Office for my\npassport. On entering the office I saw a printed paper, in which it is\nstated that every alien neglecting to renew, every six months, his\ncertificate of residence which he receives on depositing his passport,\nsubjects himself to a penalty of L50, or imprisonment. This law I have\nignorantly broken ever since I left London in 1829. It appeared to me much\nbetter to confess at once that I had ignorantly done so, than now\nwillfully break it; trusting in the Lord as it regarded the consequences\nof the step. I did so, and the Lord inclined the heart of the officer with\nwhom I had to do, to pass over my noncompliance with the law, on account\nof my having broken it ignorantly. Having obtained my passport, I found an\nunexpected difficulty in the Prussian ambassador refusing to sign it, as\nit did not contain a description of my person, and therefore I needed to\nprove that I was the individual spoken of in the passport. This difficulty\nwas not removed for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through a\npaper signed by same citizens of London, to whom I am known, the\nambassador was satisfied. This very difficulty, when once the Lord had\nremoved it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for I now obtained a new\npassport, worded in such a way, that, should I ever need it again, will\nprevent similar difficulties.\n\nMarch 3. This evening I preached comfortably in Johnstreet Chapel, for\nBrother Evans. I never preached in any place where I so much felt that he\nwho statedly ministers was more worthy than myself. This feeling led me to\nearnest prayer, and the Lord heard and assisted me.\n\nMarch 7. Dover. Last evening I left London, and arrived here this\nmorning. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before my fellow-passengers. I\nhave had a good deal of prayer and reading the Word in quietness, though\nstaying in an hotel.--March 8. I preached this morning and evening\ncomfortably in one of the chapels at Dover. March 9. All this day too we\nhave been obliged to remain at Dover, the sea being so rough that no\npacket sails. I spent the day in writing letters, in reading the Word, and\nin prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as it regards our movements.\nThis evening we asked the Lord twice, unitedly, that He would be pleased\nto calm the wind and the waves, and I now feel quite comfortable in\nleaving the matter with Him!\n\nMarch 10. The Lord heard our prayer. We awake early in the morning, and\nfound the wind comparatively calm. We left the hotel before break of day,\nto go to the packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea,\nI was separated from brothers G. and Y. I now lifted up my heart to the\nLord, as He generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my steps\ntowards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it almost\nimmediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good passage. At Calais we\nobtained our passports, luggage out of the custom house, and places in the\ndiligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning\nfor Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have a\nFather to go to for help! What a different thing, also, to travel in the\nservice of the Lord Jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the\nflesh!\n\nMarch 11. Paris. We arrived here about ten this evening. March 12. Today\nwe went about our passports, and I saw thus a good deal of the best part\nof Paris. Blessed be God, my heart is above these things! If ten years\nago, when my poor foolish heart was full of Paris, I had come here, how\nshould I have been taken up with these palaces, &c.; but now I look at\nthese things, and my heart does not care about them, What a difference\ngrace makes! There were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond of\ntraveling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than myself; but now,\nsince, by the grace of God, I have seen beauty in the Lord Jesus, I have\nlost my taste for these things.\n\nMarch 13. We again found difficulty in obtaining our passports, arising,\nprobably, from a mistake of the police officers. May the Lord order this\nmatter so, that it shall be for our real welfare!--March 14. By the help\nof the Lord we obtained our passports, and brother Groves and I took our\nplaces in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to leave tomorrow evening.\nBrother Y. intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health.\n\nMarch 15. This morning I preached in a little chapel in Palais Royal. We\nleft Paris this evening at six.--March 17. From six o'clock in the evening\nof the 15th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at\nStrasburg, We were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with the\nexception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven,\nwhen we were allowed half an hour for our meals. I had refreshing\ncommunion with my beloved brother. This quickest of all conveyances in\nFrance carries only two passengers, and we were thus able freely to\nconverse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed. Though we had\ntraveled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business at\nStrasburg, we left this evening for Basle, trusting in the Lord for\nstrength for the third night's traveling. A little after we had started,\nwe stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and we were\nsoon delivered, otherwise the circumstance, in a cold night, and during a\nfall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. I\nnow found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-passengers who\nspoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for Christ.\n\nMarch 18. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where we were very kindly\nreceived by the brethren.--March 23. Basle. These six days we have received\ngreat kindness from the brethren. The Lord has given me an opportunity of\nbringing before several who are already engaged in the ministry of the\nWord, and before many who intend to give themselves to this work, many\nimportant truths, so that in these opportunities I have been richly repaid\nfor the journey. This morning I conversed also with three brethren,\njourneymen, who have a desire to give themselves to missionary work; but\nnothing could be decided now. I awake very faint, but have been mercifully\nhelped through the work. Brother Groves intends to go to Geneva, and I to\nTubingen, in order to become acquainted with a brother, a student, who is\nlikely to go out with Brother Groves as a tutor to his sons, and to\ncombine with this, missionary service.\n\nDuring my stay at Basle I attended one day a meeting at which a venerable\npious clergyman expounded the Greek New Testament to several brethren, who\npurposed to give themselves to missionary service. The passage to which\nthis dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the New\nTestament, was 1 Peter iii. 1, 2, which, in our English translation, reads\nthus: \"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if\nany obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the\nconversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation\ncoupled with fear.\" After this aged brother had expounded the passage, he\nrelated a circumstance which had occurred in his own days, and under his\nown eyes, at Basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for those\nchildren of God who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sisters\nin the Lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time, is\nsuch a beautiful illustration of 1 Peter iii, 1.; that I judge it\ndesirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. I will do so as\nexactly as I remember it. There lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whose\nwife was a believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice was,\nto spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry till\neleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such occasions his wife always\nused to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself; to await the return\nof her husband. When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly,\nnever reproach him in the least, either at the time or afterwards, nor\ncomplain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept from\nseasonable rest. Moreover, if it should be needful to assist him in\nundressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in\na very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long time. One evening,\nthis gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarried\nthere with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: \"I bet,\nthat if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waiting\nfor me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly;\nand if I ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once without\nthe least murmur, or unkind expression, or look.\" His companions in sin\ndid not believe his statement. At last, however, after some more\nconversation about this strange statement, (as it appeared to them,) it\nwas agreed that they would all go, to see this kind wife. Accordingly they\nwent, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened by\nthe lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received by\nher. The party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife to\nprepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to\ndo; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself; without the least\nsign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having now prepared all\nfor the company, she retired from the party to her room. When she had left\nthe party, one of the gentlemen said: \"What a wicked and cruel man you\nare, thus to torment so kind a wife.\" He then took his hat and stick, and,\nwithout touching a morsel of the supper, went away. Another made a similar\nremark, and left, without touching the supper. Thus one after another\nleft, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper. The master of\nthe house was now left alone, and the Spirit of God brought before him all\nhis dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife;\nand the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to his\nwife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himself\na great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towards\nher. From that time he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus.\n\nObserve here, dear reader, the following points in particular, which I\naffectionately commend to your consideration: 1, The wife acted in\naccordance with 1 Peter iii. 1. She kept her place as being in subjection,\nand the Lord owned it. 2, She reproached not her husband, but meekly and\nkindly served him when he used to come home. 3, She did not allow the\nservants to sit up for their master, but sat up herself; thus honouring\nhim as her head and superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able,\nher husband's shame from the servants. 4, In all probability a part of\nthose hours, during which she had to sit up, was spent in prayer for her\nhusband, or in reading the word of God, to gather fresh strength for all\nthe trials connected with her position. But whether this was the case or\nnot, it is certain that thus, under similar circumstances, the time might\nbe spent, and it would then indeed be spent profitably. 5, Be not\ndiscouraged if you have to suffer from unconverted relatives. Perhaps very\nshortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your\nprayer for them; but in the meantime seek to commend the truth, not by\nreproaching them on account of their behaviour towards you, but by\nmanifesting towards them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of the\nLord Jesus Christ.\n\nMarch 25. Tubingen in Wirtemberg. The day before yesterday I left Basle\nin the afternoon. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before a young man\nand his wife, who were going to Vienna to increase their riches. What a\nmercy that grace has made me to differ, and that I travel the service of\nanother master! They listened very attentively, and were not at all\nopposed. They also esteem the people of God, and have been in the habit of\nmeeting with them. Our parting was very affectionate and solemn, after I\nhad charged them to care earnestly about the one thing needful.\n\nI arrived, yesterday morning at six, at Schaffhausen. I found a brother\nwaiting for me at the post office, a gentleman of title, who, having been\ninformed by brethren at Basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his house\nfor the two hours I had to stay in that town, to refresh my body with\nbreakfast, and my soul with communion with the brethren whom he had\ninvited to meet me. I was in this town about ten years ago. I was now\nagain within a short distance of the fall of the Rhine, which was then\nmost attractive to me. Now I considered that my time could be spent much\nmore profitably than by going there. The little time that I was at\nSchaffhausen, I received much information concerning the state of the\nchurch in many parts of the Continent, from a believing physician and a\nclergyman; and I also communicated things which, with God's blessing, may\nbe profitable. After this I continued my journey to Tubingen. It was with\npeculiar feelings; for all this way I had traversed nearly ten years ago,\nto gratify my natural desire for travelling, and now I went over the same\nground in the service of the Lord Jesus.\n\nI arrived here this morning at nine, having been strengthened to travel\ntwo nights and a day and a half, though I left Basle very weak. This\nmorning I saw brother Gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account I\nam here, and spent about three hours in conversation with him. Afterwards\nI called on a Christian professor in the university, who received me\nkindly. This evening I had a meeting with the believing students, for whom\nthe Lord gave me a word.\n\nMarch 26. This morning I drove with brother Gundert to Stuttgart, both\nfor the sake of seeing more of him, and also that we might unitedly talk\nover the matter with his father, who lives there. I am now staying at the\nhouse of brother Gundert senior, where I am kindly lodged. I think brother\nGundert junior, will go to the East Indies. His father is not only willing\nto give him up for the Lord's sake, but seems to consider it an honour to\nhave a son to give to the Lord in this way. This evening I again met\nseveral brethren, to whom I spoke about the things of God.\n\nMarch 30. Halle. From the evening of the 27th till this afternoon, when I\narrived here, I have traveled day and night, and have been strengthened by\nthe Lord for it. The whole of this way, several hundred miles, I had gone\nstep by step before. My thoughts were peculiarly affecting, as I retraced\nthe mercies which I had experienced at the hands of God.--The Lord enabled\nme repeatedly to confess His name before my changing fellow-travelers. A\nstudent spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap wine of Weinheim,\nnear Heidelberg. I told him that when, years ago, as a student like\nhimself, I came through that place, I cared about such things, but that\nnow I knew what was much better than wine.--Yesterday a Frenchman, having\nheard my testimony for Jesus once or twice, when the last merry companion\nhad left the coach, quitted my society, it being too dull for him, and\njoined himself to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of the\ncoach. (The coach was divided into the forepart and inside.) This gave me\na blessed and most refreshing opportunity to pray for about an hour aloud\nin the coach, which strengthened and refreshed my soul. It was\nparticularly kind of the Lord to give me an opportunity of praying aloud,\nas, on account of having then already traveled forty-eight hours\nuninterruptedly, my body was too tired to allow me to continue for any\nlength of time in mental prayer.--Yesterday afternoon, at Eisenach\n(situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed castle called\nthe Wartburg, where Luther translated the Holy Scriptures), I saw fearful\nscenes of profanity. How has the candlestick been removed!--This afternoon\nI reached Halle, where it pleased the Lord to bring me to the knowledge of\nHimself, having been graciously preserved hitherto, though a spring was\nfound broken when I got out of the mail. I greatly needed rest, but my\nheart was too full. I could not sleep. I went first to the house of the\nbrother, where I was first impressed, and afterwards I called on my\nesteemed tutor, professor Dr. Tholuck, counsellor of the Consistory, who\nreceived me, after seven years' separation, with his former kindness and\nbrotherly love. (He made me lodge with him, and gave thereby a testimony\nthat differences of views, concerning certain parts of God's truth, ought\nnot to separate the children of God; for I had written to him my mind from\nBristol two years before.)\n\nMarch 31. Today I rode with Dr. Tholuck and two young brethren to a\nbelieving clergyman, living in the neighbourhood of Halle, where we spent\nthe day. Dr. Tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly this,\nthat several of my former fellow-students, who, at the time when I was at\nHalle, knew not the Lord, had been brought to know Him since, and are now\nlabouring in His vineyard. And further, that certain brethren, formerly\nvery weak in the faith, had been established, and are now going on well.\nMay this encourage the heart of the believing reader still to pray for his\nunconverted friends, and may it strengthen him to hope for better days\nconcerning those of his brethren in the Lord who are now weak in the faith!\n\nApril 1. Today I saw a clergyman, in whom I recognized an individual who\nstudied at Halle, whilst I was there, living then in open sin, and who is\nnow, by divine mercy, pointing sinners to the Lamb of God. In the evening\nI went to the large Orphan-house, built, in dependence on the Lord, by A.\nH. Franke, to see one of the classical teachers, who is the son of my\nfather's neighbour, and whom I had not seen for about fifteen years. I\nfound him, to the joy of my heart, to be a brother in the Lord. This\nevening I spent in the same room where it pleased the Lord to begin a work\nof grace in my heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters with\nwhom I used to meet seven years ago, and told them of the Lord's\nfaithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbearance towards me, since I\nhad seen them last. Truly how good has the Lord been to me since!\n\nApril 2. This morning I again spent in calling on the brethren and\nsisters, being enabled, every where, before learned and unlearned, to\ntestify about the blessedness of adhering to the Scriptures as our only\nguide in spiritual things. I left Halle this afternoon, having received\nmuch love from the brethren, and drove fifteen miles further, to a beloved\nbrother and old friend, brother Stahlschmidt at Sandersleben, who has\nshown me much kindness even since I have been in England. I was received\nwith much love by this brother and his dear wife, and his man servant,\nalso a beloved brother. [This brother (the man servant) I met fifty-four\nyears ago at Gnadau, a Moravian settlement, where I several times spent a\nfew days for the refreshment of my soul, to which place he also came, a\ndistance of about forty-five miles, for the same purpose. He was then\nliving with a farmer, ploughing his fields, &c. At that time our hearts\nwere knit together; for I wish it to be understood by any unconverted\nreader, that, whilst I should at one time have looked with scorn upon such\na person, if he had attempted to be familiar with me, now the love of\nJesus, in whom we were one, filled my heart with love to him, and these\noutward distinctions were broken down. In consequence of this\nacquaintance, he wrote me several letters to Halle, and I wrote to him.\nThose letters were particularly refreshing and spiritual, and therefore I\nread them to other brethren, and also to brother Stahlschmidt, a wine\nmerchant. On account of this, he had a great desire to have brother Kroll\nliving in his house. The Lord, after a time, brought it about, and this\nbrother lived with him above forty years, and was a friend, a brother, and\na most faithful servant to this merchant, so that his considerable\nbusiness was in a great measure intrusted to him; and yet he treated his\nmaster with all due respect, and kept his place as a servant. This latter\npoint is very important, and brings glory to God. For whilst a believing\nmaster should treat a believing servant with all kindness and brotherly\nlove; yet the believing servant should with all obedience, with all\nfaithfulness, and particularly with due respect, treat his believing\nmaster or mistress.]\n\nApril 3. Sandersleben. Today I saw several brethren and sisters, and\namong others a brother, who is in about the same state in which he was\neight years ago. He has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in\nthe things of God. The reason is, that, against his conscience, he remains\nin a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. We are\nexhorted in Scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide in\nit \"with God.\" 1 Cor. vii. 24.--This evening a believing clergyman, and the\nbrethren and sisters of this small town and some neighbouring villages,\nwere collected together in brother Stahlschmidt's house, and I spoke to\nthem for two hours about the things of God, particularly about the way in\nwhich God has led me, since I saw them, and sought to strengthen their\nhands in God, and exhorted them to give themselves fully to the Lord. It\nwas a time of refreshing. Indeed, the Lord has greatly refreshed my own\nsoul, at Basle, Tubingen, Stuttgart, Halle, and elsewhere, whenever I have\nspoken well of His name. The child of God should make it his particular\nbusiness to encourage sinners to seek after the Lord, and to increase the\nfaith and love of the brethren, through speaking well of the name of the\nLord.\n\nApril 4. I left Sandersleben this morning. My brother and host acted\naccording to 3 John, 5 and 6; for he sent me on ten miles in his carriage.\n\nWhen I arrived at Aschersleben, to which place brother Stahlschmidt had\nconveyed me, I had but one station more to my father's house. On the way I\nasked the driver about a certain individual, with whom I studied at Halle,\nonce a companion with me in open sin. I found that he is still in the same\nstate. What a difference has grace made between him and me! Nothing,\nnothing but grace has made this difference! I, guilty sinner, might now be\nstill on the same road, and he, in my room, might have been plucked as a\nbrand out of the fire. But it is not so. May the Lord help me to love him\nmuch, very much, for His distinguishing grace!--Such feelings I had in\nparticular this afternoon, when I saw the town before me in which my\nfather lives, as there are but two in the whole place, as far as I can\nfind out, who love the Lord. How different is everything with me now from\nwhat it was when, as a wicked youth, I used to go to this town, at the\ntime of my vacation. How truly happy am I now! How is my heart now raised\nabove all those things in which I sought, and also fancied I found\nhappiness! Truly all these things are like bubbles to me now! My heart is\nnot here; yea, my heart is not even in England. My heart is, at least in a\nmeasure, in heaven, though I am still nothing but a poor weak worm. I felt\nthe solemnity and importance of having once more the privilege of seeing\nmy aged father. I also felt the importance of being at the place, where I\nhad spent much of my time in my youth, and where I had been known as\nliving in sin. My desire was, that I might be enabled to walk, the three\ndays I intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of Christ. For this\nI had been led to prayer before I left Bristol, and since I have been on\nthe Continent. At last I arrived at my father's house. How affecting to\nmeet him once more!\n\nApril 5. Heimersleben. This afternoon a friend of my father called-one\nwho knows not the Lord. After a few minutes the Lord gave me an\nopportunity of setting before him the fundamental truths of the Gospel,\nand the joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me. Thus a way\nwas opened to me of stating the truth more fully than ever I had been able\nto do before, by word of mouth, in the presence of my father and brother,\nwithout saying to them, \"Thou art the man.\" I was assisted by the Lord.\nMay He water the seed sown! This evening I went to the only two brethren\nin this little town, thus to own them as such. It has appeared well to me\nto call on none whom I know, else I should be expected to call on all; and\nas I see it right to spend but three days here, I consider that that\nlittle time should be wholly given to my father, as it may be the last\ntime that I shall see him; yet, at the same time, I judged that it was\nwell pleasing in the sight of the Lord, that I should call on these\nbrethren to strengthen their hands.\n\nWhen I saw these brethren last, in February, 1829, two or three more used\nto meet with them; but since then the reproach of the cross has driven the\nothers back into the world. From that time, these brethren have scarcely\nseen a believer, and never hear the Gospel preached; it was therefore a\ngreat joy to them to see me. They told me that the Lord had blessed my\nlast visit to them; and having been informed of my coming, they were\nprepared to ask me many questions. One of them, Knabe, about thirty years\nago being possessed of property, was persuaded to lay it out in coal\nmines. He joined with two men who spent his property, and after some time\nthey became bankrupts, so that there was not money enough to pay the\nworkmen and some other creditors, even after all their goods had been\nsold. This evening brother Knabe asked me what he ought to do about the\nmoney which had been left unpaid three and twenty years; whether he was\nstill under an obligation to pay it, if he could. My answer was at once\nthat he was, being in the sight of the Lord still a debtor, though cleared\nby the laws of men. He then told me, that some years since some property\nwas left to him, and that he also, in the years 1816, 1817, and 1818, when\nthe corn prices were very high, had laid by some money, and that therefore\nhe was fully able to pay the debt. He saw immediately that this was the\nright way, and said that he would act accordingly. He added that now he\nsaw why he had made so little progress in divine things. I have learned\nthat this brother has lately taken two destitute orphans into his house,\nwhom he entirely supports by the labour of his hands (he earns his bread\nby thrashing corn), and that the people, though they consider him, on\naccount of his love for the Lord, a weak and foolish person, yet look upon\nhim with respect.\n\nApril 6. I spent this morning in answering questions which my father put\nto me about secular things in England. This I did for the following\nreasons:--1. I had scarcely ever spoken about these things in my letters,\nindeed so little, that my father told me, he had often intended to ask me\nwhether it was forbidden in England to send letters abroad about such\nmatters, as I never wrote about them. I had refrained from doing so,\npartly, on account of want of time; and, partly, because I had better\nthings to write about, wishing to direct his mind to the things of God. 2.\nNow, however, I spoke on these subjects, because I particularly desired to\nbe as kind, affectionate, and obliging as I conscientiously could,\nconsidering that this was the testimony I was especially called on to\ngive. Formerly I had much pressed the things of God on him, and not with\nsufficient tenderness, knowing not then experimentally the helplessness of\nthe creature. After it had pleased the Lord to show me the truth more\nclearly, in the summer of 1829, I wrote in a different way; but in the\ncommencement of the year 1833 I felt pressed in spirit once more, most\nfully, not so much as a son, but as a servant of Christ, to write, and to\npoint out to him minutely his state, showing him the danger of his soul,\nthe grounds of which I fully laid before him. When this, as formerly,\ngreatly displeased him, I ceased to speak any more in this way, and from\nthat time I aimed and still aim more and more to show him love in action,\nas it becomes a believing son, telling him only how happy I am--how I am\nsupported under such and such trials--how I am not caring about certain\nthings as formerly I did--in what an awful state I was once living, and how\nGod brought me out of it; and how any sinner, by forsaking his evil ways,\nand believing on the Lord Jesus, may be brought to the same joy and\nhappiness, and what a delight it would be to me to meet my father at last\nin heaven, &c. Since I have corresponded with him in this way, things have\nbeen very comfortable, though I have brought as much truth before him as\nformerly, and though I have never sent a letter without speaking,\ncomparatively, much about these things. On the same ground I have not on\nthis visit spoken directly to my father about the state of his soul,\nthough he has more than ever heard the truth from my lips. God has indeed\nbeen with me, and I believe that I have been led by Him to pursue this\ncourse. Different, however, has been the way in which I have dealt with my\nunconverted brother; for the relationship in which I stand to him is a\ndifferent one. For this afternoon, I not only pointed out to him his\ndanger, but spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in my\nletters, and intend to do so still, if the Lord permit.\n\nThis afternoon brother Knabe called on me. He told me that he had already\nexperienced a trial on account of his intention to pay the money, as his\nwife tried to keep him from it, by endeavouring to persuade him that God\ndoes not require him to do such a thing, as he has taken two orphan\nchildren into his house. He nevertheless is determined to do it. He saw,\nhowever, another difficulty, which was, that, when he looked over the\npapers containing the names of his creditors, it was found that all but\nthree, out of about thirty, were dead, and he did not know what to do\nconcerning them. I told him to go to those places where his creditors used\nto live, and he might find, perhaps, some needy widows and fatherless\nchildren, whom they had left behind; and, if not, he should inquire after\nthe lawful heirs, and pay the money to them. He saw with me, and declared\nhis full intention to do so, whatever it might cost, and seemed truly glad\nthat God at last, through my advice, had delivered him from this burden;\nfor from time to time the matter had pressed on his conscience that he\nought to do it.--I spent this evening in relating to my father and brother\nsome of the Lord's dealings with me in England, particularly how He has\ngraciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to prayer, and they\nboth seemed to feel, for the moment at least the blessedness of\nsuch a life.\n\nApril 7. I saw brother Knabe this morning, who is still determined to pay\nthe money, though tried by his wife. I exhorted him to steadfastness. I\nalso saw some persons who called on me to hear about England, for every\none of whom the Lord gave me a word without any effort. It was especially\nso last night. A friend of my father, a Roman Catholic, called, and I was\nenabled to set the truths of the gospel before him, with their blessed\neffects, without entering upon the Roman Catholic controversy.--A part of\nthis morning I spent in walking about with my father to see one of his\ngardens, and some of his fields, because I knew it would give him\npleasure; and I felt that I ought in every way to show him kindness and\nattention, as far as I conscientiously could. Tomorrow, God willing, I\nintend to leave, and to return to England. The Lord, in His rich mercy, in\nanswer to my prayer, has enabled me so to walk before my father, and has\nalso impressed what I have said so far upon his heart, as to cause him to\nsay today, \"May God help me to follow your example, and to act according\nto what you have said to me.\"\n\nApril 9. Celle. Yesterday morning I drove with my father to Halberstadt,\nwhere, with many tears, he separated from me. I was alone in the mail,\nwhich was a great comfort to me. It was a solemn time. I found myself\nagain on the road to Brunswick, which I had traversed twice in the service\nof the devil, and now I was traveling on it in the name of Jesus. I\ndiscerned, in passing, the inn at Wolfenbuttel, from whence I intended to\nrun away, and where I was arrested. How peculiar were my feelings! In the\nevening we reached Brunswick, from whence we started the same night.\nDuring the night I heard a fearfully wicked, most profligate, infidel, and\nscoffing conversation between the conducteur and a student, and the only\ntestimony I gave was, complete silence all the time. I arrived here this\nmorning at eight, and have been here all the morning, as the mail will not\nstart for Hamburg until four this afternoon. It has been far from well\nwith me in my soul today. That awful conversation last night has been\nspiritual poison to me. How's very soon do we, even unconsciously, receive\nevil!\n\nApril 10. Hamburg. I arrived here at ten this morning.--April 11. I went\non board last night, and at twelve we sailed. This morning at half-past\neleven we arrived at Cuxhaven, where we cast anchor, on account of a\nstrong contrary wind.--April 13. Though I desired as much, perhaps, as any\nof the passengers speedily to get to the end of our voyage, longing to get\nback again to my work in Bristol, and also to my wife and children, yet I\nwas kept in peace; and whilst some murmured at the contrary wind, the Lord\nenabled me to lift up my heart in prayer that He would calm it, if it were\nHis holy will, and, accordingly, after a delay of about nineteen hours, we\nplied again yesterday morning, at seven. At ten I was taken with sea\nsickness, from which I had been kept during my four previous short voyages\nin answer to prayer; but this time I on purpose refrained from praying\nabout it, as I did not know whether it was better for my health to be\nseasick or not. The sickness continued the whole of yesterday. Today I am\nwell. We have fine and calm weather. I consider it a mercy that the Lord\nhas allowed me to be sea-sick.\n\nApril 15. Bristol. Yesterday at one we landed in London. In answer to\nprayer I soon obtained my things from the Custom-house, and reached my\nfriends in Chancery Lane a little before two, where I found a letter from\nmy wife, stating that brother Craik is ill, having an inflammation in the\nwind-pipe, and therefore, humanly speaking, will be unable to preach for\nsome time. In consequence of this I started immediately for Bristol, where\nI arrived this morning. I found brother Craik better than I had expected,\nthough completely unable to attend to the ministry of the Word.\n\nApril 16. Today brother Craik and I received 11l. 15s. 9d. each, being a\nlegacy left to us some time since. We said once or twice to one another,\nthat perhaps this money might be paid at a time when we much needed it.\nAnd so it is just now. May I and all my brethren leave the management of\nall our affairs entirely to the Lord, who best knows what is good for us;\nand may it be our concern to seek first the kingdom of God and His\nrighteousness, and all temporal supplies shall be added to us!\n\nMay 1. I went to see brother Craik, and found him better, but heard from\nhis medical attendant that he ought not to preach for several months. May\n5. My father-in-law has been for several days very ill. May 15. Mr. Groves\ncontinues very ill. May 29. This morning brother Craik went into\nDevonshire for change of air.\n\nJune 3. Today we had a public meeting on account of the Scriptural\nKnowledge Institution for home and abroad. It is now fifteen months,\nsince, in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of means, we have been\nenabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the Holy\nScriptures, and aid missionary labours. During this time, though the field\nof labour has been continually enlarged, and though we have now and then\nbeen brought low in funds, the Lord has never allowed us to be obliged to\nstop the work. We have been enabled during this time to establish three\nday-schools, and to connect with the Institution two other charity\nday-schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed for\nwant of means. In addition to this, the expenses connected with a\nSunday-school and an adult school have been likewise defrayed, making seven\nschools altogether. The number of the children that have been thus\nprovided with schooling, in the day-schools only, amounts to 439. The\nnumber of copies of the Holy Scriptures, which have been circulated, is\n795 Bibles and 753 New Testaments. We have also sent, in aid of missionary\nlabours in Canada, in the East Indies, and on the Continent of Europe,\n117l. 11s. The whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our hands\nfor carrying on this work, from March 5, 1834, to May 19, 1835, is 363l.\n12s. 0 3/4d.\n\nJune 20. Our father is evidently today near his end. June 22. This\nmorning at two our father died. June 23. Both our children are ill. June\n24. Our little boy is very ill. June 25. The dear little boy is so ill,\nthat I have no hope of his recovery. The disease is inflammation on the\nchest. I spoke this evening comfortably at Gideon, on Psalm cxlv. 1-4,\nthinking it right that neither the death of my father-in-law, nor my dying\nchild should keep me from the Lord's work. The Lord's holy will be done\nconcerning the dear little one. June 26. My prayer last evening was, that\nGod would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should He\nremove the little one; and to take him soon to Himself, thus sparing him\nfrom suffering. I did not pray for the child's recovery. It was but two\nhours after that the dear little one went home. The eldest and the\nyoungest the Lord has thus removed from our family in the same week. My\ndear Mary feels her loss much, but yet is greatly supported. As to myself,\nI am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant is so much better\noff with the Lord Jesus than with us, that I scarcely feel the loss at\nall, and when I weep, I weep for joy.\n\nJune 27. My dear wife is graciously supported. May the Lord grant that\nthese afflictions may not be lost upon us! June 28. I preached today both\ntimes comfortably. June 29. This morning was the funeral. The remains of\nour father and infant were put into the same grave.\n\nJuly 3. Our taxes are due, and may be called for any day, and for the\nfirst time we have no money to pay them, as we were obliged, on account of\nour late afflictions, to spend the money which we had put by for them. May\nthe Lord in mercy provide! July 6. I was enabled today, by the free-will\nofferings through the boxes, and by what I had left, to pay the taxes\nbefore they were called for. How kind of the Lord to answer my prayer so\nsoon! July 8. This evening I had 5l. sent from Weston-super-Mare. So the\nLord has again appeared. May I praise His holy name for this seasonable\nhelp, which came when I had scarcely any money left! July 14. Today I had\nagain a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. My clothes were much\nworn and old, and our late funeral might have given a second reason for\nhaving new ones. But I did not order any, because I had no money to pay\nfor them, and thought it wrong to contract debts.--A fresh paper was\nbrought in today for taxes, which ought to have been asked for many months\nsince. May the Lord give us the means to pay them!\n\nJuly 15. We had again an especial prayer-meeting for the restoration of\nbrother Craik, who, though well in his general health, is yet unable to\npreach, or even to converse for any length of time. July 18. I have felt\nfor several days weak in my chest. This weakness has been increasing, and\ntoday I have felt it more than ever. I have thought it well to refrain\nnext week from all public speaking. May the Lord grant that I may be\nbrought nearer to Him through this, for I am not at all in the state in\nwhich I ought to be, and I think sometimes that our late afflictions have\nbeen lost upon me, and that the Lord will need to chastise me severely.\n\nJuly 22. The last mentioned taxes were called for this morning, just\nafter the Lord had sent us 5l., from a distance of about eighty miles. So\nthe Lord has again of late, repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help.\nMay this lead us to trust in Him for the future! July 28. Since the 14th I\nhave felt unwell, and though sometimes a little better, on the whole I\nhave been getting worse and worse. This morning I have seen our medical\nattendant, who thinks that all the disease arises from a disordered\nstomach.\n\n\n\nJuly 31. Today brother C-r, formerly a minister in the establishment, who\ncame to us a few days since, began, in connexion with the Scriptural\nKnowledge Institution, to go from house to house, to spread the truth as a\ncity missionary. [This was a remarkable interposition of God. Brother\nCraik had before this, for some months, been unable on account of bodily\ninfirmity, to labour in the work of the schools, the circulation of the\nScriptures, &c., and my own weakness, shortly after brother C-r's arrival,\nincreased so that I was obliged to give up the work entirely: How\ngracious, therefore, of the Lord, to send brother C-r, that thus the work\nmight go on! Up to July, 1837, this brother was enabled to continue in his\nwork, and thus this little Institution was in a most important way\nenlarged as it regards the field of labour.]\n\nAugust 15. Today dear brother Craik returned from Devonshire, much better\nin his general health, but not better as it regards his voice.--August 24.\nI feel very weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. I am in\ndoubt whether to leave Bristol entirely for a time. I have no money to go\naway for a change of air. I have had an invitation to stay for a week with\na sister in the country, and I think of accepting the invitation, and\ngoing tomorrow. August 26. Today I had 5l. given to me for the express\npurpose of using change of air. Aug. 29. Today I received another 5l. for\nthe same purpose.\n\nAugust 30. Today, for the first Lord's day since our arrival in Bristol,\nI have been kept from preaching through illness. How mercifully has the\nLord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! I had another\n5l. sent, to aid me in procuring change of air. How kind is the Lord in\nthus providing me with the means of leaving Bristol! September 2. Went\nwith my family to Portishead. September 3 to 5. I read the lives of the\nEnglish martyrs at the time of the reformation. My spirit has been greatly\nrefreshed. May the Lord help me to follow these holy men as far as they\nfollowed Christ! Of all reading, besides that of the Holy Scriptures,\nwhich should be always THE book, THE CHIEF book to us, not merely in\ntheory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most useful\nfor the growth of the inner man. Yet one has to be cautious in the choice,\nand to guard against reading too much. At such a time as the present, when\nmy mind and body are too weak for much exertion, as the study of the Word,\nconversation, writing letters, or walking, &c., I find it most refreshing\nto read a few pages of this kind, though these last six years I have not\nread the fifth part, perhaps not the tenth part as much of other books as\nof the Holy Scriptures.\n\nSeptember 14. We are still at Portishead. I am but little better. I am\ngreatly bowed down today on account of my inward corruptions and carnality\nof heart. When will God deliver me from this state?! How I long to be more\nlike Him! My present way of living is also a great trial to me. The caring\nso much about the body; the having for my chief employment eating and\ndrinking, walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise; all this to which I\nhave not been at all accustomed these six years, I find to be very trying.\nI would much rather be again in the midst of the work in Bristol, if my\nLord will condescend to use His most unworthy servant.\n\nSeptember 15. As I clearly understood that the person, who lets me his\nhorse, has no license, I saw, that being bound as a believer to act\naccording to the laws of the country, I could use it no longer: and as\nhorse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration,\nand as this is the only horse, which is to be had in the place, we came to\nthe conclusion to leave Portishead tomorrow. Immediately after, I received\na kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the Lord, who lived in the\nIsle of Wight, which contained a fourth invitation, more pressing than\never, to come and stay with them for some time. In addition to this, they\nwrote that they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were persuaded\nthat I ought to come. This matter has been today a subject for prayer and\nconsideration to us.\n\nSeptember 16. We came this morning to the conclusion to leave Portishead\ntoday, and that I should go to the Isle of Wight; but we saw not how my\nwife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had not\nsufficient money for traveling expenses; and yet this seemed of\nimportance, as otherwise my wife would be overburdened in my absence, and\nmy mind would not be sufficiently free; and besides this, she also seems\nto need change of air. The Lord graciously removed the difficulty this\nevening; for we received most unexpectedly and unasked for 6l. 13s., which\nwas owed to us, and, also, when we had already retired to rest, a letter\nwas brought, containing a present of 2l. How very, very kind, and tender\nis the Lord!\n\nSeptember 19. This evening we arrived at our friends' in the Isle of\nWight, by whom we were most kindly received.--September 21 to 26. Nothing\nremarkable has occurred. I feel very comfortable in this place, and find\nmy stay here refreshing to my soul. My health is about the same. I am not\nfit for mental exercise, and am soon fatigued even by conversation. I have\nread during the last days, with great interest and admiration of the\ngoodness of God, and to the refreshment of my soul, the life of John\nNewton, and the lives of some of the English martyrs at the time of the\nreformation.\n\nSept. 27. Today I am thirty years of age. I feel myself an unprofitable\nservant. How much more might I have lived for God than I have done! May\nthe Lord grant, that, if I am allowed to stay a few days more in this\nworld, they may be spent entirely for Him! September 29. Last evening,\nwhen I retired from the family, I had a desire to go to rest at once, for\nI had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldness\nof the night was a temptation for me to pray no further. However, the Lord\ndid help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had I commenced praying,\nthan He shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer, as I had\nnot enjoyed for many weeks. He graciously once more revived His work in\nmy heart. I enjoyed that nearness to God and fervency in prayer, for more\nthan an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. For\nthe first time, during this illness, I had now also a spirit of prayer as\nit regards my health. I could ask the Lord earnestly to restore me again,\nwhich had not been the case before. I now long to go back again to the\nwork in Bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the Lord\nwill strengthen me to return to it. I went to bed especially happy and\nawoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again,\nfor more than an hour, real communion with the Lord before breakfast. May\nHe in mercy continue this state of heart to His most unworthy child!\n\nOctober 8. My strength has been during the last days increasing, but I\nfeel still the symptoms of indigestion. I have been able to speak several\ntimes at family prayer, and to expound the Scriptures to the school\nchildren, without suffering in consequence of it.\n\nOctober 9. I have many times had thoughts of giving in print some account\nof the Lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, and\nencouragement of the children of God; and I have been more than ever\nstirred up to do so since I read Newton's life a few days ago. I have\nconsidered, today, all the reasons for and against, and find that there\nare scarcely any against, and many for it.\n\nOctober 15. Today we left our dear friends for Bristol. November 15.\nBrother C-r and I have been praying together, the last five days, that the\nLord would be pleased to send us means for the carrying on of the work of\nthe Scriptural Knowledge Institution. This evening a brother gave me 6s.\n1d., being money which he formerly used to pay towards the support of a\ntrade club, which he has lately given up for the Lord's sake.--November 18.\nThis evening L30 was given to me; L25. for the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution, and L5. for myself. This is a most remarkable answer to\nprayer. Brother C-r and I have prayed repeatedly together during the last\nweek, concerning the work, and especially that the Lord would be pleased\nto give us the means to continue, and even to enlarge, the field. In\naddition to this, I have several times asked for a supply for myself, and\nHe has kindly granted both these requests. Oh that I may have grace to\ntrust Him more and more!--November 20. This evening I took tea at a\nsister's house, where I found Franke's life. I have frequently, for a long\ntime, thought of labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a much\nsmaller scale; not, to imitate Franke, but in reliance upon the Lord. May\nGod make it plain! November 21. Today I have had it very much impressed on\nmy heart, no longer merely to think about the establishment of an\nOrphan-House, but actually to set about it, and I have been very much\nin prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the Lord's\nmind.--I received this day, from an unexpected quarter, L5.\nfor the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, in answer to prayer;\n and I had also L1. 14s. 6d. sent from a distance of one hundred\nand twenty miles.-November 22. This evening I had sent for\nthe Institution L1. 4s.--November 23. Today I had L10. sent\nfrom Ireland for our Institution. Thus the Lord, in answer to prayer,\nhas given me, in a few days, about L50. I had asked only for L40. This has\nbeen a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirred\nme up to think and pray about the establishment of an\nOrphan-House.--November 25. I have been again much in prayer\nyesterday and today about the Orphan-House, and am more\nand more convinced that it is of God. May He in mercy guide me!\nThe three chief reasons for establishing an Orphan-House are:--1.\nThat God may be glorified, should He be pleased to furnish me with\nthe means, in its being seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in Him;\nand that thus the faith of His children may be strengthened. 2. The\nspiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children. 3. Their\ntemporal welfare.\n\nIt may be well to enter somewhat more minutely, than my journal does,\nupon the reasons which led me to establish an Orphan-House. Through my\npastoral labours among the saints in Bristol, through my considerable\ncorrespondence, and through brethren who visited Bristol; I had constantly\ncases brought before me, which proved, that one of the especial things\nwhich the children of God needed in our day, was, to have their faith\nstrengthened. For instance: I might visit a brother, who worked fourteen\nor even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of which\nwas, that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had no\nenjoyment in the things of God. Under such circumstances I might point out\nto him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health might\nnot suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man, by\nreading the word of God, by meditation over it, and by prayer. The reply,\nhowever, I generally found to be something like this: \"But if I work\nless, I do not earn enough for the support of my family. Even now, whilst\nI work so much, I have scarcely enough. The wages are so low, that I must\nwork hard in order to obtain what I need. There was no trust in God. No\nreal belief in the truth of that word: \"Seek ye first the kingdom of\nGod, and His righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you.\"\nI might reply something like this: \"My dear brother, it is not your work\nwhich supports your family, but the Lord; and He who has fed you and your\nfamily when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surely\nprovide for you and yours, if for the sake of obtaining food for your\ninner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day, as would allow\nyou proper time for retirement. And is it not the case now, that you begin\nthe work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments for\nprayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then to\nread a little of the word of God, are you not too much worn out in body\nand mind, to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the\nScriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?\" The brother would allow it\nwas so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still I read in his\ncountenance, even if he should not have actually said so, \"How should I\nget on, if I were to carry out your advice?\" I longed, therefore, to have\nsomething to point the brother to, as a visible proof, that our God and\nFather is the same faithful God as ever He was; as willing as ever to\nPROVE Himself to be the LIVING GOD, in our day as formerly, to all who put\ntheir trust in Him.--Again, sometimes I found children of God tried in\nmind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any\nlonger, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the\npoor-house. If in such a case I pointed out to them, how their Heavenly\nFather has always helped those who put their trust in Him, they might not,\nperhaps, always say, that times have changed; but yet it was evident\nenough, that God was not looked upon by them as the LIVING God. My spirit\nwas ofttimes bowed down by this, and I longed to set something before the\nchildren of God, whereby they might see, that He does not forsake, even in\nour day, those who rely upon him.--Another class of persons were brethren\nin business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their\nconsciences, by carrying on their business, almost in the same way, as\nunconverted persons do. The competition in trade, the bad times, the\nover-peopled country, were given as reasons why, If the business were\ncarried on simply according to the word of God, it could not be expected\nto do well. Such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish, that he might\nbe differently situated; but very rarely did I see, that there was a stand\nmade for God, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living\nGod, and to depend on Him, in order that a good conscience might be\nmaintained. To this class likewise I desired to show, by a visible proof,\nthat God is unchangeably the same.--Then there was another class of\npersons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not\ncontinue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural\nposition with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on\naccount of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could\nnot abide with God, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown\nout of employment. My spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening\ntheir faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of God, of\nHis willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon Him, but to\nshow them by proofs, that He is the same in our day. I well knew that the\nword of God ought to be enough, and it was, by grace, enough to me; but\nstill, I considered that I aught to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if\nby any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of\nthe Lord I might strengthen their hands in God; for I remembered what a\ngreat blessing my own soul had received through the Lord's dealings with\nHis servant A. H. Franke, who, in dependence upon the living God alone,\nestablished an immense Orphan-House, which I had seen many times with my\nown eyes. I, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the\nChurch of Christ, in the particular point on which I had obtained mercy:\nnamely, in being able to take God by His word and to rely upon it. All\nthese exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many\nbelievers, with whom I became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in\nmind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in\nthe Lord; were used by God to awaken in my heart the desire of setting\nbefore the church at large, and before the world, a proof that He has not\nin the least changed; and this seemed to me best done, by the establishing\nof an Orphan-House. It needed to be something which could be seen, even by\nthe natural eye. Now, if I, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith,\nobtained, without asking any individual, the means for establishing and\ncarrying on an Orphan-House: there would be something which with the\nLord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the\nchildren of God besides being a testimony to the consciences of the\nunconverted, of the reality of the things of God. This, then, was the\nprimary reason, for establishing the Orphan-House. I certainly did from my\nheart desire to be used by God to benefit the bodies of poor children,\nbereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help of\nGod, to do them good for this life;--I also particularly longed to be used\nby God in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of God;--but\nstill, the first and primary object of the work was, (and still is:) that\nGod might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care are\nprovided, with all they need, only by prayer and faith, without any one\nbeing asked by me or my fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that God\nis FAITHFUL STILL, and HEARS PRAYER STILL. That I was not mistaken, has\nbeen abundantly proved singe November, 1835, both by the conversion of\nmany sinners who have read the accounts, which have been published in\nconnexion with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has\nfollowed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, I\ndesire to be grateful to God, and the honour and glory of which not only\nis due to Him alone, but which I, by His help, am enabled to\nascribe to Him.\n\nNovember 28. I have been, every day this week, very much in prayer\nconcerning the Orphan-House, chiefly entreating the Lord to take away\nevery thought concerning it out of my mind, if the matter be not of Him;\nand have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in the\nmatter. But I have been more and more confirmed that it is of God.\n\nDecember 2. I have again these last days prayed much about the\nOrphan-House, and have frequently examined my heart, that if it were at\nall my desire to establish it for the sake of gratifying myself I might\nfind it out. To that end I have also conversed with brother Craik about\nit, that he might be instrumental in showing me any hidden corruption of\nmy heart concerning the matter, or any other scriptural reason against\nmy engaging in it. The one only reason which ever made me at all doubt as\nto its being of God, that I should engage in this work, is, the\nmultiplicity of engagements which I have already. But that which has\noverbalanced this objection in my mind has been:--1. That the matter\nis of such great importance. 2. That if the matter be of God, He will\nin due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively little of\nmy time will be taken up in this service.\n\nThis morning I asked the Lord especially, that He would be pleased to\nteach me through the instrumentality of brother C.; and I went to him,\nthat he might have an opportunity of probing my heart. For as I desire\nonly the Lord's glory, I should be glad to be instructed through the\ninstrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not of Him. But brother\nC., on the contrary, greatly encouraged me in it. Therefore I have this\nday taken the first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills to\nbe printed, announcing a public meeting on December 9th, at which I intend\nto lay before the brethren my thoughts concerning the Orphan-House, as a\nmeans of ascertaining more clearly the Lord's mind concerning the matter.\nDecember 4. Brother Craik told me this morning, that his voice is getting\na little better. December 5. This evening I was struck, in reading the\nScriptures, with these words: \"Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.\"\nPs. lxxxi. 10. Up to this day I had not prayed at all concerning the means\nor individuals needed for the Orphan-House. I was now led to apply this\nscripture to the Orphan-House, and asked the Lord for premises, 1000l.,\nand suitable individuals to take care of the children. December 7. Today I\nreceived the first shilling for the Orphan-House. Afterwards I received\nanother shilling from a German brother.\n\nDecember 9. This afternoon the first piece of furniture was given--a large\nwardrobe. This afternoon and evening I was low in spirit as it regards the\nOrphan-House, but as soon as I began to speak at the meeting, I received\npeculiar assistance from God, felt great peace and joy, and the assurance\nthat the work is of God. After the meeting, 10s. was given to me. There\nwas purposely no collection, nor did any one speak besides myself; for it\nwas not in the least intended to work upon the feelings, for I sought to\nbe quite sure concerning the mind of God. After the meeting a sister\noffered herself for the work. I went home happy in the Lord, and full of\nconfidence that the matter will come to pass, though but 10s. has been\ngiven. December 10. This morning I have sent to the press a statement\nwhich contains the substance of what I said at the meeting last evening.\n[For the sake of those who have not read it before, it is given here.]\n\nProposal for the Establishment of an Orphan-House in connexion with the\nScriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad.\n\nSince the last Report of the operations of the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution for home and abroad was published, the Lord has sent us, in\nanswer to prayer, brother John C-r, formerly a minister of the\nestablishment, as a city missionary, who goes from house to house, among\nthe poor of this city, to converse with them about the things of God, to\ncirculate the Scriptures among them, to get them to come to the adult\nschool, if they cannot read, and to advise them to put their children to\nour schools, provided they go to no other. It was particularly gracious of\nthe Lord to send this brother, nearly five months ago, as my brother and\nfellow labourer, Henry Craik, has been for these eight months laid aside\nfrom the ministry of the Word on account of bodily infirmity, and has\ntherefore been unable to take an active part in this Institution. Thus I\nhave not only found great help, but I have been greatly encouraged to\nenlarge the field. That to which my mind has been particularly directed,\nis, to establish an Orphan-House in which destitute fatherless and\nmotherless children may be provided with food and raiment, and scriptural\neducation. Concerning this intended Orphan-House I would say\n\n1. It is intended to be in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution for home and abroad, in so far as it respects the Reports,\naccounts, superintendence, and the principles on which it is conducted, so\nthat, in one sense, it may be considered as a new object of the\nInstitution, yet with this difference, that only those funds shall be\napplied to the Orphan-House which are expressly given for it. If,\ntherefore, any believer should prefer to support either those objects\nwhich have been hitherto assisted by the funds of this Institution, or the\nintended Orphan-House, it need only be mentioned, in order that the money\nmay be applied accordingly.\n\n2. It will only be established if the Lord should provide both the means\nfor it, and suitable persons to conduct it.\n\nAs to the means, I would make the following remarks. The reason for\nproposing to enlarge the field, is not because we have of late\nparticularly abounded in means; for we have been rather straitened. The\nmany gracious answers, however, which the Lord had given us concerning\nthis Institution, led brother C-r and me to give ourselves to prayer,\nasking him to supply us with the means to carry on the work, as we\nconsider it unscriptural to contract debts. During five days, we prayed\nseveral times, both unitedly and separately. After that time, the Lord\nbegan to answer our prayers, so that, within a few days, about 50l. was\ngiven to us. I would further say, that the very gracious and tender\ndealings of God with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for the\nlast five years, my own temporal wants without any certain income, so that\nmoney, provisions and clothes have been sent to me at times when I was\ngreatly straitened, and that not only in small but large quantities; and\nnot merely from individuals living in the same place with me, but at a\nconsiderable distance; and that not merely from intimate friends, but from\nindividuals whom I have never seen: all this, I say, has often led me to\nthink, even as long as four years ago, that the Lord had not given me this\nsimple reliance on Him merely for myself; but also for others. Often, when\nI saw poor neglected children running about the streets at Teignmouth, I\nsaid to myself: \"May it not be the will of God, that I should establish\nschools for these children, asking Him to give me the means?\" However, it\nremained only a thought in my mind for two or three years. About two years\nand six months since I was particularly stirred up afresh to do something\nfor destitute children, by seeing so many of them begging in the streets\nof Bristol, and coming to our door. It was not, then, left undone on\naccount of want of trust in the Lord, but through an abundance of other\nthings calling for all the time and strength of my brother Craik and\nmyself; for the Lord had both given faith, and had also shown by the\nfollowing instance, in addition to very many others, both what He can and\nwhat He will do. One morning, whilst sitting in my room, I thought about\nthe distress of certain brethren, and said thus to myself:--\"O that it\nmight please the Lord to give me the means to help these poor brethren!\"\nAbout an hour afterwards I had 60l. sent as a present for myself, from a\nbrother, whom up to this day I have never seen, and who was then, and is\nstill, residing several thousand miles from this. Should not such an\nexperience, together with promises like that one in John xiv. 13, 14,\nencourage us to ask with all boldness, for ourselves and others, both\ntemporal and spiritual blessings? The Lord, for I cannot but think it was\nHe, again and again, brought the thought about these poor children to my\nmind, till at last it ended in the establishment of \"The Scriptural\nKnowledge Institution, for Home and Abroad;\" since the establishment of\nwhich, I have had it in a similar way brought to my mind, first about\nfourteen months ago, and repeatedly since, but especially during these\nlast weeks, to establish an Orphan-House. My frequent prayer of late has\nbeen, that if it be of God, He would let it come to pass; if not, that He\nwould take from me all thoughts about it. The latter has not been the\ncase, but I have been led more and more to think that the matter may be of\nHim. Now, if so, He can influence His people in any part of the world,\n(for I do not look to Bristol, nor even to England, but to the living God,\nwhose is the gold and the silver,) to intrust me and brother C-r, whom the\nLord has made willing to help me in this work, with the means. Till we\nhave them, we can do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it,\n&c. Yet, when once as much as is needed for this has been sent us, as also\nproper persons to engage in the work, we do not think it needful to wait\ntill we have the Orphan-House endowed, or a number of yearly subscribers\nfor it; but we trust to be enabled by the Lord, who has taught us to ask\nfor our daily bread, to look to Him for the supply of the daily wants of\nthose children whom He may be pleased to put under our care. Any donations\nwill be received at my house. Should any believers have tables, chairs,\nbedsteads, bedding, earthenware, or any kind of household furniture to\nspare, for the furnishing of the house; or remnants or pieces of calico,\nlinen, flannel, cloth, or any materials useful for wearing apparel; or\nclothes already worn; they will be thankfully received.\n\nRespecting the persons who are needed for carrying on the work, a matter\nof no less importance than the procuring of funds, I would observe, that\nwe look for them to God Himself, as well as for the funds; and that all\nwho may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants, according to the\nsmallness or largeness of the Institution, must be known to us as true\nbelievers; and moreover, as far as we may be able to judge, must likewise\nbe qualified for the work.\n\n3. At present nothing can be said as to the time when the operations are\nlikely to commence; nor whether the Institution will embrace children of\nboth sexes, or be restricted either to boys or girls exclusively; nor of\nwhat age they will be received, and how long they may continue in it; for\nthough we have thought about these things, yet we would rather be guided\nin these particulars by the amount of the means which the Lord may put\ninto our hands, and by the number of the individuals whom he may provide\nfor conducting the Institution. Should the Lord condescend to use us as\ninstruments, a short printed statement will be issued as soon as something\nmore definite can be said.\n\n4. It has appeared well to us to receive only such destitute children as\nhave been bereaved of both parents.\n\n5. The children are intended, if girls, to be brought up for service; if\nboys, for a trade; and therefore they will be employed, according to their\nability and bodily strength, in useful occupations, and thus help to\nmaintain themselves; besides this they are intended to receive a plain\neducation; but the chief and especial end of the Institution will be to\nseek, with God's blessing, to bring them to the knowledge of Jesus Christ,\nby instructing them in the Scriptures.\n\nGEORGE MULLER.\n\nBristol, Dec. 10th, 1835.\n\nDecember 11. I have been enabled to pray all this week with increased\nconfidence concerning the Orphan-House, as it regards means, a house,\nsuitable individuals to take care of the children, furniture, &c. December\n16. Brother C-n, whom the Lord has kindly allowed to stay above two months\namong us, to supply brother Craik's lack of service, left us today. How\nvery gracious has the Lord been to us in this affliction! Many brethren\nhave been sent to us as helpers for a little while--brother C-t for the\ngreater part of the time, and brother C-n for more than two months. And,\nin addition to this, when brother Craik and I were both ill, the brethren\nwere kept in peace, and there was a spirit of prayer among them. December\n31. This evening we had an especial meeting for prayer and praise. We\ncontinued together from seven till after twelve.\n\nThere have been received into the church at Gideon during the past year--29\n\nDitto, Bethesda--30\n\nAltogether--59\n\nOf these 59, 30 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through\nthe instrumentality of brother Craik and me. There are now, of those who\nhave been begotten again through us, since we have been in Bristol, at\nGideon 63, and at Bethesda 71--altogether 134. Besides this, several have\nfallen asleep in the faith, who never were in communion with us, and\nseveral of our spiritual children have joined other churches, in and out\nof Bristol, and many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list of\ncandidates for communion. There have been added to the church at Gideon,\nsince we came, 125; to Bethesda, 163--altogether 288; so that the number\nof both churches would have been 356 (68 believers we found at Gideon),\nhad there been no changes; but\n\nOf Gideon are at present\n\nunder church discipline 6, of Bethesda, 7, altogether, 13\n\nDo. have fallen asleep 12 do. 5 do. 17\n\nDo. have left Bristol 10 do. 4 do. 14\n\nDo. have left us, but are\n\nstill in Bristol 11 do. 4 do. 15\n\n39 20 59\n\nSo that there are at present in communion with us 297:--143 at Bethesda,\nand 154 at Gideon.\n\nAs it regards the way in which the Lord, in His faithful love, supplied\nmy temporal wants, during the past year, I mention that I received--\n\n1. In free-will offerings, given through the boxes, as my part L130 3s. 7\n1/4d.\n\n2. In free-will offerings given by believers in and out of Bristol, not\nthrough the boxes L120 7s. 6d.\n\n3. Towards the house rent I received from brother Craik, in consideration\nthat he has no rent to pay, for nine months L7 10s. 0d.\n\n4. The presents sent to us in clothes and provisions, &c., were worth to\nus at least L27 0s. 0d.\n\nAltogether L285 1s. 1 1/4d.\n\nJanuary 3, 1836. This morning brother Craik spoke a little in public for\nthe first time after about nine months.\n\nJanuary 6. Today we had three especial prayer meetings, for the full\nrestoration of brother Craik's voice. We had also, on January 7, 8, 9, and\n10, especial prayer meetings for brother Craik's full restoration. January\n16. Today I put into the press another statement, containing a further\naccount respecting the Orphan-House. [It is here reprinted.]\n\nFurther account respecting the Orphan-House, intended to be established\nin Bristol, in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for\nHome and Abroad.\n\nWhen, of late, the thoughts of establishing an Orphan-House, in\ndependence upon the Lord, revived in my mind, during the first two weeks I\nonly prayed, that, if it were of the Lord, He would bring it about; but,\nif not, that He graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts about it\nout of my mind. My uncertainty about knowing the Lord's mind did not arise\nfrom questioning whether it would be pleasing in His sight, that there\nshould be an abode and scriptural education provided for destitute\nfatherless and motherless children; but whether it were His will that I\nshould be the instrument of setting such an object on foot, as my hands\nwere already more than filled. My comfort, however, was, that, if it were\nHis will, He would provide not merely the means, but also suitable\nindividuals to take care of the children, so that my part of the work\nwould take only such a portion of my time, as, considering the importance\nof the matter, I might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements.\nThe whole of those two weeks I never asked the Lord for money, or for\npersons to engage in the work. On December 5th, however, the subject of my\nprayer all at once became different. I was reading Psalm lxxxi, and was\nparticularly struck, more than at any time before, with ver. 10: \"Open thy\nmouth wide, and I will fill it.\" I thought a few moments about these\nwords, and then was led to apply them to the case of the Orphan-house. It\nstruck me that I had never asked the Lord for any thing concerning it,\nexcept to know His will respecting its being established or not; and I\nthen fell on my knees, and opened my mouth wide, asking Him for much. I\nasked in submission to His will, and without fixing a time when He should\nanswer my petition. I prayed that He would give me a house, i.e. either as\na loan, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one, or that one\nmight be given permanently for this object; further, I asked Him for\nL1000; and likewise for suitable individuals to take care of the children.\nBesides this, I have been since led to ask the Lord, to put into the\nhearts of His people to send me articles of furniture for the house, and\nsome clothes for the children. When I was asking the petition, I was fully\naware what I was doing, i.e., that I was asking for something which I had\nno natural prospect of obtaining from the brethren whom I know, but which\nwas not too much for the Lord to grant. As I have stated, that I desire to\nsee clearly the Lord's will concerning the Orphan-House, by His providing\nboth the means and suitable individuals for it, I will now mention how He\nhas been dealing with me in these respects.\n\nDecember 7, 1835.--Anonymously was given 2s. In the paper in which they\nwere enclosed was written \"1s. for the Orphan-House, and 1s. for the\nScriptural Knowledge Institution. In the name of the Lord alone lift up\nyour banners, so shall you prosper.\" 1s. besides was given. December 9. I\nfound 3s. in the box, which I had put up two days before in my room for\nthe Orphan-House, and a large wardrobe given just before the meeting in\nthe evening, when I stated publicly my desire concerning this object\nbefore the brethren. After the meeting 10s. was given. Also a sister\noffered herself at the same time for the work. December 10. This morning I\nreceived a letter, in which a brother and sister wrote thus:--\"We propose\nourselves for the service of the intended Orphan-House, if you think us\nqualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, &c., which the Lord\nhas given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary\nwhatever; believing, that if it be the will of the Lord to employ us, He\nwill supply all our need, &c.\" In the evening a brother brought from\nseveral individuals three dishes, 28 plates, three basins, one jug, four\nmugs, three salt stands, one grater, four knives, and five forks.\n\nDecember 12. While I was praying this morning that the Lord would give us\na fresh token of His favour concerning the Orphan-House, a brother brought\nthree dishes, 12 plates, one basin, and one blanket. After this had been\ngiven, I thanked God, and asked Him to give even this day another\nencouragement. Shortly after, L50. was given, and that by an individual\nfrom whom, for several reasons, I could not have expected this sum. Thus\nthe hand of God appeared so much the more clearly. Even then I was led to\npray, that this day the Lord would give still more. In the evening,\naccordingly, there were sent 29 yards of print. Also a sister offered\nherself for the work. Dec. 13. A brother was influenced this day to give\n4s. per week, or 10l. 8s. yearly, as long as the Lord gives the means; 8s.\nwas given by him as two weeks' subscriptions. Today a brother and sister\noffered themselves, with all their furniture, and all the provisions which\nthey have in the house, if they can be usefully employed in the concerns\nof the Orphan-House.\n\nDecember 14. Today a sister offered her services for the work. In the\nevening another sister offered herself for the Institution. December 15. A\nsister brought from several friends, ten basins, eight mugs, one plate,\nfive dessert spoons, six tea spoons, one skimmer, one toasting fork, one\nflour dredge, three knives and forks, one sheet, one pillow case, one\ntable cloth; also 1l. In the afternoon were sent 55 yards of sheeting, and\n12 yards of calico. December 16. I took out of the box in my room 1s.\nDecember 17. I was rather cast down last evening and this morning about\nthe matter, questioning whether I ought to be engaged in this way, and was\nled to ask the Lord to give me some further encouragement. Soon after were\nsent by a brother two pieces of print, the one seven and the other 23 3/4\nyards, 6 3/4 yards of calico, four pieces of lining, about four yards\naltogether, a sheet, and a yard measure. This evening another brother\nbrought a clothes' horse, three frocks, four pinafores, six handkerchiefs,\nthree counterpanes, one blanket, two pewter salt cellars, six tin cups,\nand six metal tea spoons; he also brought 3s. 6d. given to him by three\ndifferent individuals. At the same time he told me that it had been put\ninto the heart of an individual to send tomorrow 100l.\n\nDecember 18. This afternoon the same brother brought from a sister, a\ncounterpane, a flat iron stand, eight cups, and saucers, a sugar basin, a\nmilk jug, a tea cup, 16 thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessert\nspoons, 12 tea spoons, four combs, and two little graters; from another\nfriend a flat iron and a cup and saucer. At the same time he brought the\n100l. above referred to. [Since the publication of the second edition it\nhas pleased the Lord to take to Himself the donor of this 100l., and I\ntherefore give in this present edition some further account of the\ndonation and the donor, as the particulars respecting both, with God's\nblessing, may tend to edification. Indeed I confess that I am delighted to\nbe at liberty, in consequence of the death of the donor, to give the\nfollowing short narrative, which, during her lifetime, I should not have\nconsidered it wise to publish. A. L., the donor, was known to me almost\nfrom the beginning of my coming to Bristol in 1832. She earned her bread\nby needlework, by which she gained from 2s. to 5s. per week; the average,\nI suppose, was not more than about 3s. 6d., as she was weak in body. But\nthis dear, humble sister was content with her small earnings, and I do not\nremember ever to have heard her utter a word of complaint on account of\nearning so little. Some time, before I had been led to establish an\nOrphan-House, her father had died, through which event she had come\ninto the possession of 480l., which sum had been left to her (and the\nsame amount to her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but of\nwhich her father had had the interest during his lifetime. The father,\nwho had been much given to drinking, died in debt,\nwhich debts the children wished to pay; but the rest, besides\nA. L., did not like to pay the full amount, and offered\nto the creditors 5s. in the pound, which they gladly accepted,\nas they had not the least legal claim upon the children. After the\ndebts had been paid according to this agreement, A. L. said to herself;\n\"However sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father, and\nas I have the means of paying his debts to the full amount, I ought, as\na believing child, to do so, seeing that my brothers and sisters will not\ndo it.\" She then went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the full\namount of the debts, which took 40l. more of her money, besides her\nshare which she had given before. Her brother and two sisters now gave\n50l. each of their property to their mother; but A. L. said to herself:\n\"I am a child of God, surely I ought to give my mother twice as much\nas my brother and sisters.\" She, therefore, gave her mother 100l. Shortly\nafter this she sent me the 100l. towards the Orphan-House. I was not a\nlittle surprised when I received this money from her,\nfor I had always known her as a poor girl, and I had never heard\nany thing about her having come into the possession of this\nmoney, and her dress had never given me the\nleast indication of an alteration in her circumstances. Before, however,\naccepting this money from her, I had a long conversation with her, in\nwhich I sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which I sought to\nascertain whether, as I had feared, she might have given this money in the\nfeeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. I was the\nmore particular, because, if the money were given, without its being given\nfrom Scriptural motives, and there should be regret\nafterwards, the name of the Lord would be dishonoured. But I\nhad not conversed long with this beloved sister, before\nI found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, considerate\nfollower of the Lord Jesus, and one who desired, in spite\nof what human reason might say, to act according to the words of our\nLord: \"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth.\" Matthew vi. 19.\n\"Sell that ye have, and give alms.\" Luke xii. 33. When I remonstrated\nwith her, in order that I might see, whether she had counted the cost,\nshe said to me: \"The Lord Jesus has given His last drop of blood for me,\nand should I not give Him this 100l.?\" She likewise said: \"Rather than the\nOrphan-House should not be established, I will give all the money I have.\"\nWhen I saw that she had weighed the matter according to the word of God,\nand that she had counted the cost, I could not but take the money, and\nadmire the way which the Lord took, to use this poor, sickly sister as an\ninstrument, in so considerable a measure, for helping, at its very\ncommencement, this work, which I had set about solely in dependence\nupon the living God. At that time she would also have me take 5l. for the\npoor saints in communion with us. I mention here particularly, that this\ndear sister kept all these things to herself; and did them as much as\npossible in secret; and during her life-time, I suppose, not six brethren\nand sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed 480l., or that she\nhad given 100l. towards the Orphan-House. But this is not all. Some time\nafter this 100l. had been given by her, brother C-r, (who was then\nlabouring as a City Missionary in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution, and who about that very time happened to visit from house to\nhouse in that part of the city where A. L. lived), told me that he had met\nwith many cases, in which A. L. had given to one poor woman a bedstead, to\nanother some bedding, to another some clothes, to another food; and thus\ninstance upon instance of acts of love, on the part of our dear sister\nA. L., had come before him. I relate one instance more. August 4, 1836,\nseven months and a half after she had given the 100l.,\nshe came one morning to me and said: \"Last evening I\nfelt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds of\nthe Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but whilst praying I thought, what\ngood is it for me to pray for means, if I do not give, when I have the\nmeans, and I have therefore brought you this 5l.\" As I had reason to\nbelieve that by this time by far the greater part of her money was gone, I\nagain had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she really\ndid count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto the\nLord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not to\ngive the money. However, she was at this time also steadfast, grounded\nupon the word of God, and evidently constrained by the love of Christ; and\nall the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she said: \"You must\ntake five shillings in addition to the 5l., as a proof that I give the 5l.\ncheerfully.\" And thus she constrained me to take the 5l. 5s. Four things\nare especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference to\nall this period of her earthly pilgrimage: 1, She did all these things in\nsecret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved, that\nshe did not desire the praise of man. 2, She remained, as before, of an\nhumble and lowly mind, and she proved thus, that she had done what she did\nunto the Lord, and not unto man. 3, Her dress remained, during all the\ntime that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. It was\nclean, yet as simple and inexpensive as it was at the time when all her\nincome had consisted of 3s. 6d., or at most 5s., per week. There was not\nthe least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc. She\nremained in every way the poor hand-maid of the Lord, as to all outward\nappearance. 4, But that which is as lovely as the rest, she continued\nworking at her needle all this time. She earned her 2s. 6d., or 3s., or a\nlittle more, a week, by her work, as before: whilst she gave away the\nmoney in Sovereigns or Five Pound Notes.--At last all her money was gone,\nand that some years before she fell sleep, and as her bodily health never\nhad been good, as long as I had known her, and was now much worse, she\nfound herself peculiarly dependent upon the Lord, who never forsook her up\nto the last moment of her earthly course. The very commencement of her\nlife of simple dependence upon the Lord, was such as greatly to encourage\nher. She related the facts to me as I give them here. When she was\ncompletely without money, and when her little stock of tea and butter was\nalso gone, two sisters in the Lord called on her. After they had been a\nlittle while with her, they told her that they had come to take tea with\nher. She said to herself; I should not at all mind to go without my tea,\nbut this is a great trial, that I have nothing to set before these\nsisters; and she gave them therefore to understand, that their staying to\ntea would not be convenient at that time. The sisters, however, I suppose,\nnot understanding the hint, remained, and presently brought out of a\nbasket tea, sugar, butter and bread, and thus there was all that was\nrequisite for the tea, and the remainder of the provisions was left with\nher. She told me, that at that time she was not accustomed to trials of\nfaith, as she afterwards was.\n\nHer body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was able\nto work very little, for many months before she died; but the Lord\nsupplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. For\ninstance, a sister in communion with us sent her for many months all the\nbread she used.--Her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst of\nthe greatest bodily sufferings. She fell asleep in Jesus in January\n1844.--I have related these facts, because they tend to the\npraise of the Lord, and may be instrumental in stirring up other\nchildren of God, to follow this dear departed sister in so far as she\nfollowed the Lord Jesus; but,in particular, that I may show in what\nremarkable ways the Lord proved, from the very beginning, that the\nOrphan-House was His and not mine. I now go on to narrate further how\nthe Lord provided me with means for it.] This evening a sister sent five\nsmall forms. December 20. A sister gave me 5l. December 21. A friend sent\n1l. Weekly subscription of 4s. December 22. A sister gave me 1l. and a\nfriend sent 2s. 6d. December 23. A brother gave this evening a piece of\nblind line and a dozen of blind tassels. About ten in the evening, a\ngentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention,\n4l., of which I was allowed to take 2l. for the Orphan-House, and\nto give the other 2l. to poor believers. December 28. During\nthe last four days I had received no offerings, and was rather cast down\nabout it, not knowing why the Lord dealt thus. Yet, in the midst of it, I\nhad a hope, that He was in the mean time working for the Orphan-House,\nthough nothing had been given. I was again stirred up to pray, that the\nLord would appear today. A little after, I saw a brother who told me, that\never since he had received the printed proposal for the establishment of\nan Orphan-House, he had considered the matter, and that he was willing to\ngive for the use of it certain premises, which he built some years since,\nand which cost him 2,600l., provided there could be raised about 500l., to\nadd to the buildings what may be needed, to fit them for the purpose.\nThere is a piece of ground belonging to the premises, sufficiently large\nto build thereon what may be required. The buildings are very suitable for\nan Orphan-House, containing some very large rooms. If, therefore, the Lord\nshould put it into the hearts of His people, who have the means, to give\nthis sum of money, the premises will be given. The reason why they are\noffered under the above-mentioned condition is, that in the state in which\nthey are now, on account of the peculiar purpose for which they were\nbuilt, they could accommodate only about 15 children, but, by the proposed\naddition, would be large enough for 50 or 60. For the present, however,\nthe premises are let, and a notice of six months must be given. If this\nmatter should be brought about by the Lord, my prayer concerning a house,\nwhich has been repeatedly brought before Him since December 5th, will have\nbeen answered. Yet I leave the matter in the hands of Him, who has the\npower to give us a place, of which we may take immediate possession, or\nwho can put it into the hearts of His children to pay the rent for a\nhouse, or to give us the 500l. necessary to complete the building.--Weekly\nsubscription of 4s. December 29. A clergyman gave 10s. December 30. A\nbrother at Sidmouth sent 5l.\n\nJanuary 1, 1836. Through a sister was given 6s., being six different\ndonations; also from herself 1l. as a donation, besides 1s. as a monthly\nsubscription. Also a lady sent through her 1l. 1s. as a yearly\nsubscription. Jan. 2. 4 sister sent 5l. Jan. 3. A gentleman sent 5s, Jan.\n4. Weekly subscription of 4s. Through a brother from two friends, 1s. The\nsame brother brought also one dish, three plates, two basins, two cups and\nsaucers, and two knives and forks. Jan. 5. 10s., and 12s. 9d., and 2l.\nwere given. This evening some one rang our house bell. When the door was\nopened, no one was there, but a kitchen fender and a dish were found at\nthe door, which, no doubt, were given for the Orphan-House.\n\nJan. 7. 10s. was sent. Jan. 8. 2l. was given, also 10s. A sister offered\nherself for the work. Jan. 9. From E. G. 1l. 5s., and from a brother 6d.\nJan. 10. 2s. 6d. was given. In the paper was written, \"Two widows mites\nfor the Orphan-school. In the name of the Lord establish it.\" Jan. 11.\nWeekly subscription 4s. Jan. 12. 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., and 1d. were given.\nJan. 14. An old great coat was given; 1l. by a brother. A sister in Dublin\noffered 2l. 12s. yearly. There was sent a deal box, a small looking-glass,\na candlestick, a jug, a basin, two plates, two knives and forks, and a tin\ndish.\n\nAll this money, and all these articles have been given, and all these\nabove-mentioned offers have been made, without my asking any individual\nfor anything; moreover, almost all has been sent from individuals\nconcerning whom I had naturally no reason to expect any thing, and some of\nwhom I never saw. Upon the ground of these facts, therefore, I am clearly\npersuaded, that it is the will of the Lord that I should proceed in the\nwork, and I shall therefore now state something more definite than I could\nin the former paper.\n\n1. If the Lord should not provide previous to the middle of February a\nhouse in the way of gift, which in a few weeks may be occupied for an\nOrphan-House, or put it into the heart of some one who loves Him to pay\nthe rent for one, or to lend us one for this purpose, I intend, God\nwilling, to rent certain suitable premises, which are to be had for about\n50l. yearly. I purpose to take them for a twelvemonth, for that time would\nbe required, before the building could be finished, should the Lord\nprovide the above-mentioned 500l.\n\n2. It is intended, God willing, to open the institution about April 1.\n\n3. It is purposed to confine the Orphan-house, for the present, to female\nchildren. My desire is to help both male and female orphans, and that from\ntheir earliest youth; but hitherto the Lord has pointed out only a small\ncommencement. Should it, however, please Him to give me the means, and to\nincrease my faith and light, I shall gladly serve Him more extensively in\nthis way. It has appeared well to me to commence with female children,\nbecause they are the more helpless sex, and they need more particularly to\nbe taken care of, that they may not fall a prey to vice. The house which\nis to had will accommodate about 30 children, which number I intend to\nreceive at once, should the Lord give me the means to clothe that number,\nand to furnish the house for so many; but, if not, I purpose, at all\nevents, the Lord willing, to commence the work, though with a smaller\nnumber.\n\n4. It is intended to receive the children from the seventh to the twelfth\nyear, and to let them stay in the house, till they are able to go to\nservice.\n\n5. As the children will be brought up for service, they will be employed\nin useful household work.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, Jan. 16, 1836.\n\nJan. 24. Today brother Craik preached once for the first time. Jan. 30.\nToday I went to meet two sisters, who were expected from London. I sat\ndown in the coach office, took out my Bible, and began to read; and though\nin the midst of the noise of the city, the Lord most especially refreshed\nmy soul, so much so, that I remember scarcely ever to have had more real\ncommunion with Him, which lasted for more than an hour. It was the love of\nChrist which led me there. I would gladly have remained at home, to have\nhad time for prayer and reading the Word, especially as I had to leave the\nhouse early in the morning. Yet I went for the Lord's sake, and He gave me\na blessing: so that, though I had to wait more than two hours, and after\nall the sisters did not arrive, I was richly repaid. May I but leave\nmyself more and more in His hands! He orders all things well!\n\nFebruary 3. I have been very weak for some days. This evening brother\nCraik was able to preach instead of me, for the first time at the week\nmeetings. How good is the Lord in restoring him thus far! Feb. 16. Today\nwas a day of thanksgiving on account of brother Craik's restoration. We\nhad three public meetings. Feb. 17. I had been repeatedly praying today\nfar a text, but obtained none. About five minutes before the time of\npreaching, I was directed to Rev. ii. 19, on which I preached with much\nassistance and enjoyment to my own soul, without any previous preparation;\nand the word was felt by many to be a word in season. Feb. 26. This\nevening both churches met at tea together, with the brethren and sisters\nwho intend to leave us in a few days for missionary work. Feb. 29. This\nevening we had a meeting on behalf of the missionary brethren and sisters.\nThey were by seven brethren commended to the Lord in prayer.\n\nMarch 1. This afternoon brother and sister Groves, and the brethren and\nsisters going with them for missionary purposes, twelve in number, left us\nfor the East Indies. In consequence of the journey to the Continent, at\nthe commencement of last year, four brethren and two sisters have gone\nout, two brethren in October last, and two brethren and two sisters today.\nThis evening we had again a prayer meeting for the dear missionary party.\nMay the Lord soon give us the privilege of seeing some one of our own\nnumber go forth. April 21. This day was set apart for prayer and\nthanksgiving concerning the Orphan-House, as it is now opened. In the\nmorning several brethren prayed, and brother Craik spoke on the last\nverses of Psalm xx. In the afternoon I addressed our Day and Sunday-School\nchildren, the orphans and other children present. In the evening we had\nanother prayer-meeting. There are now 17 children in the Orphan-House.\n\nMay 3. I have now been for many days praying for the supply of our own\ntemporal wants, and for the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution;\nbut, as yet, I have had not only no answers to my prayer, but our income\nhas been less than usual, and we have had also but very little coming in\nfor the funds of the Institution. We have not been able to put by our\ntaxes, and expect them daily to be called for. My clothes also are now\nworse than any I ever wore, and I have also but one suit. May 6. I have\nnow been for some years, and especially these last few months, more or\nless thinking and praying respecting publishing a short account of the\nLord's dealings with me. Today I have at last settled to do so, and have\nbegun to write.\n\nMay 16. For these several weeks our income has been little; and though I\nhad prayed many times that the Lord would enable us to put by the taxes,\nyet the prayer remained unanswered. In the midst of it all, my comfort was\nthat the Lord would send help by the time it would be needed. One thing\nparticularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our own\ntemporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely in any measure\nbeen able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. Today, the Lord\nat last, after I had many times prayed to Him for these weeks past,\nanswered my prayers, there being 7l. 12s. 0 1/4d. given to me as my part\nof the free-will offerings through the boxes, two 5l. notes having been\nput in yesterday, one for brother Craik and one for me. Thus the Lord has\nagain delivered us, and answered our prayers, and that not one single hour\ntoo late; for the taxes have not as yet been called for. May He fill my\nheart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may He be pleased to\nenable me more and more to trust in Him, and to wait patiently for His\nhelp! May He also be pleased to teach me more and more the meaning of that\nword, with reference to my own circumstances:--\"Mine hour is not yet came.\"\n\nA third statement, containing the announcement of the opening of the\nOrphan-House for destitute female children, and a proposal for the\nestablishment of an Infant Orphan-House, was on May 18th, 1836, sent to\nthe press, and is here reprinted.\n\nOpening of the Orphan-House for Destitute Female Children, established in\nBristol, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home\nand Abroad; and Proposal for the Establishment of an Infant-Orphan-House.\n\nIn a previous printed account, a statement has been given of the success\nwith which the Lord has been pleased to crown the prayers of His servant,\nrespecting the establishment of an Orphan-House in this city. The subject\nof my prayer was, that He would graciously provide a house, either as a\nloan, or as a gift, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one;\nfurther, that He would give me 1000l. for the object, and likewise\nsuitable individuals to take care of the children. A day or two after, I\nwas led to ask, in addition to the above, that he would put it into the\nhearts of His people to send me articles of furniture, and some clothes\nfor the children. In answer to these petitions, 184l. 2s. 6d. and many\narticles of furniture and clothing were sent, a conditional offer of a\nhouse, as a gift, was made, and individuals proposed themselves to take\ncare of the children, the particulars of which have been given in the\nstatement already referred to, dated Jan. 16, 1836. I shall now proceed to\nshow how, since that time, the Lord has continued to answer my prayers.\n\nJanuary 16, 1836, there was given 6d., six yards of calico, three plates,\na cup and saucer, and a jug. January 18, 4s. Jan. 19, a saucepan and\nsteamer, a tin dish, a teapot, some drugget; also 4d., and 1s. Jan. 21.\n1l., also 5s. Jan. 22. 2s. 6d. Jan. 23. A brother gave 5s., the first\nfruits of the increase of his salary. Jan. 24. 5s.; also 1l., and 1l. Jan.\n25. A brother promised to give 50l. within a twelvemonth, with the\nparticular object of thus securing the payment of the rent of a house.\nThus the Lord has answered the prayer respecting this point. There were\nalso given 1l., 6d. and 4s. Jan. 27. A form was sent. Jan. 28. A deal\ntable was given, also, anonymously, were sent a coal box and 4s., also a\nbedstead. Jan. 29. Two little waiters, two candlesticks, two chandeliers,\ntwo night shades, a tin kettle, a warmer, a bread basket, a fire guard;\nalso one dozen tin cups, six plates, and 1s. 6d.; also 1s., a water jug,\nsix plates, a sugar basin, a teapot, a tea canister, and a knife. Jan. 30.\nA frying pan, a tea canister, a metal teapot, a tin dish, a pepper box, a\nflour scoop, a skimmer, a grater, two tin saucepans, a tin warmer, 55\nthimbles, five parcels of hooks and eyes; also 1l. Jan. 31. 5l. 5s.; an\nold white dress and a fur tippet.\n\nFebruary 1. 4s., 2s. 6d., also a sister in the Lord offered today to make\nthe bonnets for the children gratuitously, if any one would buy the straw,\nand that her husband would make a bedstead, if any one would buy the wood;\nshe also mentioned that they would gladly give both the straw and the\nwood, if they had the means. Feb. 2. 6d., 2d and out of the box in my room\nwas taken 3s. Feb. 4. 2s. 6d.,6d.; also a desk and a kitchen table; there\nwas also promised a subscription of 8s. annually. Feb. 5. 1s. 6d. Feb. 6.\nA brother sent 100l., being induced to do so an having had the former\npaper read to him. Feb. 7. 1l. 2s., 1s., 6d., 2s. 6d., 5s., 2s. 6d., 5s.,\n2s. 6d., 3l. 10s. Feb. 8. A table and two chairs, 4s., 5l., also 30l. was\nsent from Ireland; 10s., 10s., 1l. Feb. 9. 1l., 4s. 1d., 10s., 1s. 1d.,\n1s. 1d., 1s., 1s., 1s., 1s., 1d., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d.,\n2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 1d., 1s. Feb. 11. Three yards of print,\n2s. 6d., 5s.; 5s., 10s. Feb. 12. A clothes' horse, a coffee pot, and 1s.;\nalso a washing tub, a coffee mill, a pepper mill, two dozen pieced of\nbobbin, three dozen stay laces, two dozen thimbles, two dozen bodkins, 300\nneedles, a gridiron, six pots of blacking paste, a pound of thread, and a\nlarge deal table. Feb. 14. 10s., 1l., put anonymously into Bethesda boxes,\nfor the Orphan-House. Feb. 15. Two glass salt cellars, a mustard pot, a\nvinegar cruet, and a pepper box, also 4s., 4d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 2s. 6d.\nFeb. 16. 4d. 1s., 4d., Feb. 17. 5s. Feb. 18. A bedstead, and by two poor\npersons, 2d. Feb. 19. There were sent from London 34 yards of print, six\nyards of calico, one dozen pocket handkerchiefs, four pairs of stockings,\nand two New Testaments. Feb. 20. Two salt cellars, two mugs, two plates,\nalso two pocket handkerchiefs. Feb. 21. 1l. Feb. 22. 4s., 1s. Feb. 23.\nTwelve yards of gingham from two Swiss sisters. Feb. 25. 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d.\nFeb. 28. 1l. Feb. 29. 1l., 5s., 4s.\n\nMarch 2. 1l., 1s., 1s. 6d., 1s., 1s., 1s., 1/2d., 2s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d.;\nalso out of the box in my room, 1l. 2s. 6d.; two large iron pots were sent\nanonymously. March 4. 10l., 10s., 3s., 7d., 10s., 2s. 6d., 10s., 10s.,\n3s.; all these offerings were sent from Clapham; also a desk. March 5.\nSome fancy worsted and 1s., the produce of the sale of some old map\nrollers. March 7. 4s., 10s., 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s., 2s. 6d.,\n5s.; all these offerings were sent from Cleve, also 5s.; also, from a\ndistance of about 100 miles, was sent the valuable and useful present of\nfive pewter dishes, three dozen pewter plates, three dozen metal spoons,\ntwo coral necklaces, a pair of coral earrings, and a large gold brooch--the\ntrinkets to be sold for the benefit of the Orphan-House. Also from the\nsame place was sent 10s. \"which had been laid up for a time of need, but\nwhich were sent because the donor thought that the time of trust in the\nLord in Bristol was her time of need to give.\"\n\nMarch 10. 8s., 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 6d., 1d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 5s.,\n2s. March 11. 1l., 5s. March 13. A little girl sent, from a distance of\nmore than 200 miles, 2s. 6d. March 14. A brother at Plymouth promised to\nsend 20l., also 4s. were given. March 15. 7d., 10s., 6d., 1s., 1s., 1d.,\n6d. March 16. 1s.; anonymously was sent from London 1l., also 2s. 6d.\nMarch 18. 10 s. March 19. 3s., 1s., 4d., 4d., 4d., 4d. March 21. 4s. March\n22. 1l. March 23. A large deal box, also anonymously six dishes. March 24.\n5s. March 25. A ton of coals. March 27. 1l., 1l., 1l., 10s.; these\nofferings were sent from Trowbridge, also 10s. From the Isle of Wight,\n2l., 2l., 1l., 10s., a large piece of green baize, and two metal spoons.\nMarch 28. 1l., 4s., 3d., 31., 10 s., 6s., 10 s., 2s. 6d., 5s., 5s., also\nan iron kettle and some drugget. March 29. 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s., 1s. 6d.\nMarch 31. 2s.\n\nApril 2. 1s., 2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., also six blankets, two counterpanes,\nfour sheets, eight bonnets, five frocks, six pinafores, with the promise\nto send also six chemises (sent since). April 4. 4s., 1s., 1s., 8d., 1s.,\n1d., 1s., 3d., 6s., 2s. 6d., 1l., 1l., 3s., also 14 tippets, three\npinafores, one frock, three chemises (two more promised), six flannel\npetticoats; also six stuff petticoats; also six flannel petticoats (and\nsix chemises promised), also a sheet. April 5. 2l., 7s., 6d., 6d., 4d.,\n4d., 1d., 4d., 6d. April 6. One dozen of washing basins and one jug. April\n7. 2s. 2d., 3s., 1s., 2s. 2d., 1s. 1d. April 8. 10s., 10s., 6d., 1s., 2s.,\nalso a bench. April 9. 4d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 2s., also three knives and\nforks, also some marking ink. April 10. Two patent locks. April 11. 4s.\nApril 12. 1s., 8d., 2s., a jug, also twelve bonnets and six tippets. April\n13. A set of fire irons, a tea kettle, a coal box, a tin saucepan, a\ntripod, a tea pot, three cups and saucers, a wash-hand basin, three small\nbasins, and two plates. April 15. 10s., 10s. April 16. 5l., also 1l. and\n22 Hymn Books. Also anonymously were sent two dozen pocket handkerchiefs,\nalso a hymn, \"The Orphan's Hope,\" in a frame. April 17. A cask, also a\nhundred weight of treacle, and 36 pounds of moist sugar.\n\nApril 18, 4s. April 19. 2s. 6d., 1s. April 20. A new bedstead. From\nClapham were sent 21l. and 11l., likewise three flannel petticoats, some\nprint, six frocks, four pinafores, seven tippets, 12 caps, 14 chemises, 24\nfurnished work bags, 12 pocket handkerchiefs, 16 pairs of stockings, one\npair of sleeves; besides this, with an orphan child, was sent from\nClapham, a complete new outfit.\n\nApril 21. 2l., 2s., 1s., 6d., 6d., 6d., 5s., 2s., also two candlesticks,\na pepper box, and a handkerchief. April 22. 1s., 10s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 2\n3/4d., also a long handled brush and 6d., also an ironing blanket, and 32\nyards of flannel. April 23. 2l., 5s., 10s., a cheese, and 18 pounds of\nbeef. April 25. 1s. and eight plates. April 26. 6d., 6d., 5s. April 27.\n10d. April 28. 1s., also two tons of coal, also two patch-work quilts, 15\nwork bags and pin-cushions, 12 needle cases, three little bags, one\ntippet, two pairs of stockings, one kettle holder, also six pairs of\nworsted stockings.\n\nMay 2. 8s., 1l., 10 s. May 3. 8d., 2s. 6d., and a pair of shoes. May 4. A\ngentleman and lady, who saw the Institution, left six chemises, seven\npocket handkerchiefs, two flannel petticoats, four pairs of stockings, and\nfour pairs of gloves; there were also sent 18 thimbles, a gross of\nbuttons, a gross of hooks and eyes. May 5. 2s. 6d., 1s. May 6. 15 pairs of\nworsted stockings. May 7. 5s., 2s. 6d. May 8. 5s., 6d., 2s. 6d. May 9.\n4s., 10s., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. May 10. 6d., 4d., 6d., 6d., 4d., 1d., 4d.,\n2s. May 11. 1l., 2s. 6d., 1s. May 13. A bonnet, also a dish, sent by a\npoor person in an almshouse; a well-wisher sent, for little orphan boys,\nsix frock pinafores, six little shirts, six frocks and trousers. May 14. 9\npounds of soap. May 15. S. S. 2s. 6d. May 16. 4s. May 17. Out of the box\nin the Orphan-House, 3s. 0 1/2d., also 1s.\n\n1. It may be well to state, that the above results have followed in\nanswer to prayer, without any one having been asked by me for one single\nthing, from which I have refrained, not on account of want of confidence\nin the brethren, or because I doubted their love to the Lord, but that I\nmight see the hand of God so much the more clearly. For as the work has\nbeen begun without any visible support, in dependence only upon the living\nGod, it was of the utmost importance to be sure of His approbation at the\nvery commencement.\n\n2. From this statement, and from that contained in the last printed\naccount, it will be seen how the Lord, in a great measure, has already\nanswered the petition of December 5, 1835; for a house has been given,\nsuitable individuals have offered themselves to take care of the children,\nand much more furniture, and many more articles of clothing have been sent\nthan I ever had expected. The only part of the prayer, which has not been\nas yet quite fulfilled, is, that which respects the 1000l., which,\nhowever, the Lord, I doubt not, will likewise send in His own time. In the\nmeantime, let my brethren help me to praise Him, that He has sent already\nmore than one half of that sum, and therefore more than for the present\nhas been needed.\n\n3. So far as I remember, I brought even the most minute circumstances\nconcerning the Orphan-House before the Lord in my petitions, being\nconscious of my own weakness and ignorance. There was, however, one point\nI never had prayed about, namely, that the Lord would send children; for I\nnaturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications.\nThe nearer, however, the day came, which had been appointed for receiving\napplications, the more I had a secret consciousness, that the Lord might\ndisappoint my natural expectations, and show me that I could not prosper\nin one single thing without Him. The appointed time came, and not even one\napplication was made. I had before this been repeatedly tried, whether I\nmight not, after all, against the Lord's mind, have engaged in the work.\nThis circumstance now led me to lie low before my God in prayer the whole\nof the evening, February 3, and to examine my heart once more as to all\nthe motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that His\nglory was my chief aim, i.e., that it might be seen that it is not a vain\nthing to trust in the living God,--and that my second aim was the spiritual\nwelfare of the orphan-children,--and the third their bodily welfare; and\nstill continuing in prayer, I was at last brought to this state, that I\ncould say from my heart, that I should rejoice in God being glorified in\nthis matter, though it were by bringing the whole to nothing. But as\nstill, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of God, to\nestablish and prosper the Orphan-House, I could then ask Him heartily, to\nsend applications. I enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the\nsubject, and was also more assured than ever that God would establish it.\nThe very next day, February 4, the first application was made, and since\nthen 42 more have been made.\n\n4. The house mentioned in the last printed account, which we had intended\nto rent, having been let before any applications had been made, and\nnothing more having been done about the premises offered as a gift, on\naccount of the want of money needed to complete the building, I rented, at\nleast for one year, the house No. 6, Wilson Street, as being, on account\nof its cheapness and largeness, very suitable, and in which, up to March\n25th, I had been living myself. Having furnished it for 30 children, we\nbegan an April 11th, 1836, to take them in, and on April 21st the\nInstitution was opened by a day being set apart for prayer and\nthanksgiving. There are now 26 children in the house, and a few more are\nexpected daily. They are under the care of a matron and governess.\n\n5. In the last printed account it was mentioned that we intended to take\nin the children from the seventh to the twelfth year. But after six\napplications had been made for children between four and six years of age,\nit became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, as\nlong as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, though\nso young. For it appeared to me, that if it becomes the saints to care in\nthis way, according to their ability, for those whom God has bereaved of\nboth parents, when they become seven years of age, that it becomes them\nequally so, to take care of them whilst they are under seven years, and\ntherefore completely unable to help themselves. Further, orphan children\nare often left to themselves, and thus, at the age of 11 or 12 years, have\nalready made much progress in wickedness. Therefore I came at last to the\nconclusion to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for whom\napplication had been made. Further, there are exceedingly few institutions\nin the kingdom, in which infant orphans are received, and provided with\nscriptural education. Further, it has been repeatedly brought before me,\nhow desirable it would be to establish also in this city an orphan-house\nfor male children, and there were even the above-mentioned articles sent\nfor little orphan boys. Partly, then, on account of these reasons; and\npartly, because the Institution already opened will be quite filled in a\nfew days, and applications continue to be made; and partly, because the\nLord has done hitherto far above what I could have expected: I have at\nlast, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of the\nLord, and in dependence upon Him alone for support, to propose the\nestablishment of an Infant-Orphan-House. It is intended to open this\nInstitution, as soon as suitable premises and individuals, to take care of\nthe children, &c., have been obtained.\n\na. It is intended to receive into this Infant-Orphan-House destitute male\nand female infants bereaved of both parents, from their earliest days up\nto the seventh year, and to provide them with food, clothing, needful\nattendance, and Scriptural education.\n\nb. It is intended to let the female children stay up to the seventh year\nin the Infant-Orphan-House, and then to remove them to the Institution\nalready opened, till they are able to go to service.\n\nc. It is also intended, as far as the Lord may help, to provide for the\nboys, when they are above seven years, though we cannot at present say in\nwhat manner.\n\nIn proposing the establishment of this second Orphan-House, I do it in\nthe same simple dependence upon God alone, as in the case of the former.\nAnd feeling my own weakness, and knowing that it is not in my power to\ngive faith to myself, I ask the brethren to help me with their prayers,\nthat my faith may not fail.\n\n6. To avoid misunderstandings, I would expressly state, that both the\nlast mentioned Institution, and the one already opened, are for orphan\nchildren living in any part of the United. Kingdom.\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, May 18, 1836.\n\nJune 3. From May 16 up to this day I have been confined to the house, and\na part of the time to my bed, on account of a local inflammation, which\nkeeps me from walking. Almost every day during this time I have been able\nto continue writing a narrative of the Lord's dealings with me, which had\nbeen again laid aside after May 7, on account of a number of pressing\nengagements. It is very remarkable, that the greatest objection against\nwriting it for the press was want of time. Now, through this affliction,\nwhich leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement to\nthe house, I have been able to write about 100 quarto pages. May the Lord\nin mercy teach me about this matter!\n\nJune 8. I am still getting better. The abscess is now open. This\naffliction has been, by the mercy of the Lord, an exceedingly light one.\nNot one day have I had severe pain, and not one day have I been kept\naltogether from working. June 9. I was able to go again today to the\nOrphan-House, and to read the Scriptures with the children. This day came\nthree more children, who have made up our number, so that there are now\nthirty in the house.\n\nJune 11. I am, by the mercy of God, still getting better, but, as yet,\nunable to walk about. All this week I have been again enabled to go on\nwriting for the press. June 12. Today the Lord very kindly allowed me to\npreach again, and that most undeservedly, and much sooner than I could\nhave expected. June 14. This morning, brother C-r and I prayed unitedly,\nchiefly about the schools and the circulation of the Scriptures. Besides\nasking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked the Lord for the\nmeans which are needed; for on July 1, 17l. 10s. will be due for the rent\nof school-rooms, and, besides this, we want at least 40l. more to go on\nwith the circulation of the Scriptures, to pay the salaries of the\nmasters, &c. Towards all this we have only about 7l. I also prayed for the\nremainder of the 1000l. for the Orphan-House.\n\nJune 18. We have had, for many weeks past, generally little money for our\npersonal expenses, which has been a trial to us, not on our own account,\nbut because we have thus been able to do but very little for the poor\nbrethren. Today, Saturday, we have 3s. left, just enough to pay for a fly\nto take me to and bring me back from Bethesda tomorrow, as I am unable to\nwalk. This money we should not have had, but for our baker, a brother, who\nrefused today to take money for the usual quantity of bread, which we\ndaily take.\n\nJune 21. This evening brother C-r and I found, that the Lord has not only\nbeen pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in during\nthe last week, in answer to our prayers, the 17l. 10s. which will be due\nfor the rent of two school-rooms on July 1st, but that we have 5l. more\nthan is needed. Thus the Lord once more has answered our prayers.\n\nJune 25. Saturday. We have been again helped through this week, as it\nregards our personal need, and have 3s. left, though we had many shillings\nto pay for driving about. Now the Lord has put it into the hearts of some\nof His children, to provide me with a fly every Lord's-day, as long as I\nmay need it.\n\nJuly 1. Today a suit of new clothes was given to me, which came very\nseasonably. May this fresh instance of the Lord's loving-kindness lead me\nto love Him more; and may He also be pleased richly to reward those\nbrethren, who have thus ministered to my need! July 16. Today a brother\nsent me a new hat, the seventh which in succession has been given to me.\n\nJuly 28. For some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary of\nthe masters and governesses a month in advance, but have been obliged to\npay it weekly. Brother C-r and I have lately prayed repeatedly together\nrespecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should not\nhave been able to pay even this weekly salary of the teachers, had not the\nLord most remarkably helped us again today. For besides 1l. which was\ngiven to us, this evening a brother gave 8l., which sum had been made up\nby a number of his workmen paying weekly one penny each, of their own\naccord, towards our funds. The money had been collecting for many months,\nand, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brother\nto bring it. My faith has been greatly strengthened through this\ncircumstance. For before today, though I have never been in the least\nallowed to doubt the Lord's faithfulness, I did not understand His purpose\nin His dealings with us of late, in not sending us more than we have\nneeded just to be kept from stopping; and I have sometimes thought,\nwhether it might not be His will, on account of my want of faithfulness in\nHis work, to decrease the field; but now I see, that notwithstanding my\nunworthiness, His allowing us to pray so frequently, was only that the\ndeliverance might be felt so much the more when it came.\n\nJuly 29. This evening from six to half-past nine we had again a meeting\nfor inquirers. There came twelve fresh cases before us, and there were six\nmore than we could see. Thus we saw, that the work of the Lord, even as it\nregards conversion, is still going on among us.\n\nOctober 1. Today, in dependence upon the Lord alone for means, we engaged\na brother as a master for a sixth day school. Last Saturday, for the first\ntime, we were so low in funds, that we needed 1l. more than we had, to pay\nthe salaries a week in advance; but one sister, on account of the death of\nher father, as we afterwards learned, was kept from calling for her money,\nand on the next day we received more than was needed to pay her. On\naccount, therefore, of the many deliverances which we have had of late, we\nhave not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys' school was\ngreatly needed, there having been many applications for admission standing\nthese several months past.\n\nOctober 5. This evening 25l. was given to me for the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution. Thus the Lord has already given the means of defraying the\nexpenses of the new boys' school for some months to come.\n\nOctober 19. Today, after having many times prayed respecting this matter,\nI have at last engaged a sister as matron for the Infant-Orphan-House,\nnever having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who\nseemed suitable: though there has been money enough in hand for some time\npast for commencing this work, and there have been also applications made\nfor several infant orphans.\n\nOctober 25. Today we obtained without, any trouble, through the kind hand\nof God, very suitable premises for the Infant-Orphan-House. If we had laid\nout many hundred pounds in building a house, we could scarcely have built\none more suitable for the purpose. How evident is the hand of God in all\nthese matters! How important to leave our concerns, great and small, with\nHim; for He arranges all things well! If our work be His work, we shall\nprosper in it.\n\nNovember 30. On account, as I suppose, of many pressing engagements, I\nhad not been led for some time past to pray respecting the funds. But\nbeing in great need, I was led yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the\nLord, and in answer to this petition a brother gave me last evening 10l.\nHe had had it in his heart for several months past, to give this sum, but\nhad been hitherto kept from it, not having the means. Just now, in this\nour great necessity, the Lord furnished him with the means, and we were\nhelped in this way. In addition to this 10l., I received last evening a\nletter with 5l., from a sister whom I never saw, and who has been several\ntimes used by God as an instrument to supply our wants. She writes thus:\n\"It has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that I feel\nas if there must be some need, which the Lord purposes to honour me by\nmaking me the instrument of supplying. I therefore enclose you 5l., all I\nhave in the house at this moment; but if you have occasion for it, and\nwill let me know, I will send you as much more.\" Besides these two\ndonations, I received today 3l. 3s.\n\nDecember 15. This day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving\nrespecting the Infant-Orphan-House, which was opened on November 28. In\nthe morning we had a prayer-meeting. In the afternoon, besides prayer and\nthanksgiving, I addressed the children of our day-schools and the orphans,\nabout 350, on Ecclesiastes xii. 1. In the evening I gave a further account\nof the Orphan-Houses, commencing from the time when the last printed\naccount had been issued, dated May 18, 1836. The substance of this account\nwas printed, and is reprinted here for the sake of those who are as yet\nunacquainted with it.\n\nFurther account of the Orphan-House for Female Orphans above Seven Years\nof Age; and Opening of the Infant-Orphan-House, for destitute Male and\nFemale Orphans under Seven Years of Age.\n\nIt is now a twelve-month since the proposal for the establishment of an\nOrphan-House was first made. Since then the Lord has given me almost all I\nrequested of Him, and in some respects even more. This was in part stated\nin the last two papers which were printed on this subject dated January\n16, and May 18, 1836. Of the 1,000l. which I had asked of God on December\n5, 1835, I had actually received on May 18, 1836, 450l. 13s. 6 3/4d.; and\nbesides this, 70l. had been promised by two brethren. As it regards\npremises, articles of clothing, furniture, &c., I had received even beyond\nmy petition. I have now the pleasure of detailing, still further, how God\nhas continued to answer my prayer since May 18, 1836.\n\nMay 19th was given 1l. 23rd 1l. and 4s. There were also sent two buckets\nand 1s. 24th., 10 s. 6d., 2d., 1s. 6d. 25th, one pound of butter, 2s.,\n1s., 1s. There was also sent 14s., and in the paper was written: \"The\nhistory of this money is: A lady was going to purchase a dress. The\nenclosed sum was the difference between the fashionable one, which took\nher fancy, and one less fashionable. So she thought, the orphans should\nprofit by this sacrifice of her fancy.\" May 27th, there was left at my\nhouse a sovereign, and in the paper was written: 1 Thess. v. 25.\" [Pause\nwith me a few moments, dear reader, before going on with the account. In\npreparing the third edition for the press, I have been struck with the\nvery many cases in which individuals, who are spoken of in this narrative,\nare no more in the land of the living. So it is with the two donors of the\nlast mentioned sums. The dear sister who would not indulge her fancy in\nhaving a more fashionable dress, but who would rather give the fourteen\nshillings, which thus could be saved, to the orphans, has been with her\nLord for more than two years. Will she regret not having indulged her\nfancy in that instance? Will she now suffer loss on account of it? Surely\nnot!--The dear brother who gave the sovereign, was a gracious devoted\nclergyman of the City of Bristol. He had written in the paper in which the\nsovereign was enclosed, \"1 Thess. v. 25.\" (\"Brethren, pray for us.\") This\ndear man of God does now no longer need our prayers. He entered into his\nrest several years ago. Yet a little while, dear believing reader, and, if\nthe coming of the Lord prevent not, we too shall fall asleep in Jesus.\nTherefore, let us work, \"while it is day: the night cometh, when no man\ncan work.\" And, \"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might:\nfor there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave,\nwhither thou goest.\"--But how would it be with you, dear reader, if you\nare unprepared, and should be taken out of the world? Let me beseech you\nto seek the Lord while He may be found. Jesus died to save sinners. He\nshed His blood. He fulfilled the law of God, and died the JUST for the\nUNJUST: and whosoever depends for salvation upon His perfect obedience,\nand upon His sufferings and death, shall be saved; for God has said it.]\nMay 28th, A fender and two coal scuttles. 29th, 5l. 30th, 4s. Also 2s.\n6d., with two gowns and a tippet. The brother who left a sovereign with \"1\nThess. v. 25,\" gave today 10s. more; 2s. 4d. June 1st, from a few sisters\nin Dublin, nine pocket handkerchiefs, 19 1/2 yards of stuff, and forty-two\nyards of print. 4th, 5s. 6d., eighteen little books. 5th, 6d., 4d., 4d.,\n4d. 6th, 4s. 7th, 5s. 1d., 2l. 2s. 6d. 8th, 4d., 1s., 1s., 3s. 9th, six\npairs of gentlemen's trousers, two coats, one waistcoat, five pairs of\nsocks, two gowns--all worn. 10th, 1l., also from a friend in Ireland 1l.\n12th, S. S. 2s. 6d. 13th, 4s., 5l. 14th, 1s. 1d., 1s., 2s. 6d., 6d., 1s.,\n2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3s. 3d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d. 15th, a brother at Plymouth\nsent 25l., 20l. of which had been previously promised. 18th, 1l., 1d., 6\n1/4 pounds of bacon, a form, a chopping knife. 19th, 1l. 1s., 10s.; 12s.\nby sale of ornaments. 20th, 4s. Also from Teignmouth, 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d.,\n2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3l., 10s., 2s. 6d., 1s. 1d., 5s., together with\na gown, a boy's pinafore, a pair of socks, coloured cotton for three\nchildren's frocks, two babies' bed gowns, and five babies' night caps.\n21st, 5l. 10s., 6d., 4d., 2d., 4d., 2d., 6d., 6d., twenty pounds of bacon\nand ten pounds of cheese. 22d, box in the Orphan-House, 2s. 4d. 24th, 2s.\n6d., 3s. 8 1/2d. 27th, 4s. 28th, 2s. 6d., 4s., 4d., 6d., 10s., 6s. 6d.\n29th, six straw bonnets. 30th, 5s., 2l. July 4th, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 4s.\nThere was also sent from \"two orphans\" 48l., 1s. 1d., 10s., 8s. 6d., 2s.\n6d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 4d. 5th, 1s., 1s. 2d., 3d., 4s., 4d.,\n1s. 6th, six new cane chairs. 7th, 2l., 12s., 10s., 2s. 8th, 1s., 2s. 6d.,\n3s. 10th, 10s., 10s., 1l., 1l. 11th, 8s., 13s. 12th, 13s. 2d. 13th, 12s.\n14th, there were sent six chemises, which had been promised on April 14th.\nAlso fourteen pin cushions. 15th, six night caps and 2 petticoats. 20th,\n10s., 5s., 1l., 6d., 2d., 6d., 6d., 4d., 6d., 4d., 2d., 4d. 24th, 1l.\n25th, 8s., S. S. 5s. Also 25 3/4 yards of print, 12 little shawls and 16\nyards of flannel. 26th, box in the Orphan-House 5s. 9d., 4d. 27th, two\npairs of shoes. 28th, 3s. 8 1/2d. 29th, 2s. 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. August\n1st, 4s., 1l. 10., two chemises, three night caps, and ten pocket\nhandkerchiefs; two chemises, three night caps, and six pocket\nhandkerchiefs. 2nd, 8d., 1s., 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s., 1s., 6d.., 5s., 2s.\n6d., 1s., 1d., 1d., one patch work quilt. 5th, 6s. 8th, 4s. 10th, a box,\nsix canisters, and an inkstand, 13th, 5s. 15th, 1l., S. S. 2s. 6d., 4s.\n16th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 6d., 1s., 1s. 6d. 19th, 1s. 2 1/2d. 23rd,\n1s., 10s., 1l., 2s. 6d. September 1st, 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s., 1s., 4d.,\n6d., 4d., 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 1s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 2d., 1l., 1l., twelve\nchemises, one worn stuff frock, 4d., 4d., a basket of apples, and three\npounds of sugar. 3rd, 1l., 5l. 5th, 12s. 7th, 5s., 2s. 6d. 8th, 5s. 13th,\n1s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 3d., 1s., 1s. 1d.,\n1s. 1d., 2d., 6d., 6d., 2s. 6d., 6d. 14th, 1l., 10s., 10s., 14 pinafores,\na basket of apples. 19th, 8s., 2s. 6d. Box in the Orphan-House 1l. 6s. 1\n1/4d., 10s. 20th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 1d, 4d. 27th, several numbers of the\n\"Record\" were sent to be sold for the benefit of the Orphan-House, 4d.,\n4d., 2s., 2s. 6d. 30th, 1l. was given as \"A Thank-offering for spiritual\nmercies vouchsafed to a child.\" Also Mr. B-sen., Surgeon, kindly\noffered, today, to give his attendance and medicine gratuitously to the\norphans. October 1st, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. A worn cloak. 3rd, 5s., 3s. 3d.,\n1s. A gallon of dried peas. 4th, 1l. 3s. 6d. 10th, 4s., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d.,\n1s. 1d., 1s. 11th, 10s., 2d., 6d., 3s. 3d. 14th, 4 1/2 gallons of beer.\n16th, three tippets, 8d., 4d., 5s., 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 10s.,\n10s., 2s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 5s. 17th, 4s. 18th, 10s., 6d., 6d., 4d.,\n4d., 6d., 1d., 4d., 1s. 19th, 1l. 24th, 4s. 25th, three frocks, two\npinafores, two tippets, three pairs of sleeves, 10s., 10s., 4d., 1s. 27th,\nthree tippets. Anonymously was sent by post, 10s., with the request that\nprayer should be made for the donor, for divine guidance under\ncircumstances of much doubt and anxiety. 29th, 12 cloth tippets. 31st, 4s.\nNovember 2nd, 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s. 4th, two little cloaks, four quarterns\nof bread. 5th, two turkeys, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. There was also given by a\nbrother L100.--L50. of which was previously promised, to ensure the rent\nfor premises. It is a remarkable fact concerning this donation, that I\nhad, in December of last year, repeatedly asked the Lord to incline the\nheart of this brother to give one hundred pounds, and I made a memorandum\nof this prayer in my journal of December 12, 1835. On January 25th, 1836,\nfifty pounds was promised by him, and on November 5, fifty pounds besides\nthat sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that I\nremembered, that the very sum, for which I had asked the Lord, had been\ngiven. Thus we often may receive an answer to prayer, and scarcely\nremember that it is an answer. When it came to my mind that this prayer\nhad been noted down in my journal, and I showed it to the donor, we\nrejoiced together; he, to have been the instrument in giving, and I to\nhave had, the request granted. November 6th, S. S. 7s. 6d. 7th,\nanonymously was sent a ton of coals, 4s., one petticoat, two pairs of\ngloves, two ruffs. 8th, 5l., 2s. 2d., 3s., 2s. 2d., 2s. 2d., 1s. 6d., 2d.,\n6d., 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d. 14th, there was given 20l. for the\nOrphan-house, and 20l. for the Infant-Orphan-House. Both papers,\nin which the money was enclosed, contained these words: \"If the\nLord prolongs the life of the unworthy giver of the enclosed, the\nsame sum will be given at Christmas.\"--It has been more than once\nobserved to me that I could not expect to continue to receive large\nsums; for that persons, when first such an institution is established,\nmight be stirred up to give liberally, but that afterwards one had to look\nto a number of regular subscribers, and that, if\nthose were lacking, it was not likely that such a\nwork could go on. On such occasions, I have said but little;\nbut I have had the fullest assurance, that it is a small matter\nfor the Lord to incline donors to give liberally, a second or\nthird time, if it were for our real welfare. And accordingly the donor,\nabove referred to, added to the first 50l. another 50l., and the last\nmentioned benefactor, to the 50l., given on a former occasion, added\nthe just mentioned 40l., with the promise to give another 40l.\nat Christmas. I would only add on this subject, that there are\nsome subscribers, and even some who give considerably; yet\nI would state, for the Lord's glory, that if they were\ntwenty times as many, I should desire that my eyes might not be directed\nto them, but to the Lord alone, and that I might be enabled to take the\npayment of every subscription as a donation from HIM. On the\nother hand, if there were no subscribers at all, yet the Lord, who\nheareth prayer, is rich to give according to our need.--There\nwas given also today, \"A widow's mite,\" 10s.--also 4d. November\n14th, 4s., also four ducks. For the Infant-Orphan-House, five\nfrocks, four shirts, four chemises, a bed gown, two petticoats; three\nquarterns bread. 15th 6d., 6d., 4d., 6d., 4d. 16th, by sale of trinkets,\n1l. 5s., 4s. 18th, anonymously were sent a boy's cap, a bonnet, a small\npiece of print. 19th, four quarterns of bread. 21st, 4s., 2s. 6d. 22nd,\n4d., 6d., 6d. 23rd, three frocks, a tippet, six pairs of sheets, three\npairs of blankets. 25th, 12 hymn books, a worn cloak, a new tent bedstead.\n27th, anonymously put into Bethesda boxes 5s. 28th, 4s. 29th, two turkeys.\n30th, 10s., five yards of blanketing, a worn shawl. December 1st, a\npatch-work quilt and five yards of print, 3d., 10s. 4th, 5l. 5s.\n5th, 4s., 1l. 5s. 6th, 6d., 2d., a worn cloak, a petticoat, a piece\nof linen for window curtains. 8th, box in the Orphan-House\n2l. 4s. 1 1/2d. 9th, 1l. Also 1l. with \"Mark ix. 36, 37,\" written on\nthe paper. A most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which I\nhad never felt before.--About a hundred weight of treacle.\n\nI. From this statement it appears, that 770l. 0s. 9 1/2d. has been\nactually given, and that 40l. is promised. All the money, and all the\narticles of furniture, clothing, provision, &c., have been given, without\none individual having been asked by me for anything, from which I have\nstill refrained, that the Lord's own hand might be clearly seen in the\nmatter, and that the whole might clearly appear as an answer to prayer.\n\nII. After frequent prayer, that, if it were the will of God, He would be\npleased to send us a Matron and Governess for the Infant-Orphan-House,\nthis petition also has been answered. In addition to this we obtained a\nconvenient house for the purpose, No. 1, Wilson Street, together with a\npiece of ground for a play-ground; and we therefore began to furnish it on\nNovember 21st, and on November 28th we took in the first children.\n\nIII. Of late it has appeared well to us to employ some of the strongest\nand eldest girls of the Orphan-House in the work of the\nInfant-Orphan-House, under the direction of the Matron and\nGoverness. From this plan it appeared the following advantages would\nresult. 1st. Thus the wages which we should have to pay to assistants\nwould be saved. 2nd. Without any further expense to the Institution,\nwe should in this way be able to support five or six orphans more.\n3rd. If thus the bigger girls of the Orphan-House pass through the\nInfant-Orphan-House, before they are sent into service, they will be\naccustomed to nursery work, which is so important for young servants.\n4th. This plan would allow us to have the bigger girls longer under\nour care, as we should have full employment for them.\n\n[In the original paper follow eight other paragraphs, containing the\naudited account and various other points of information respecting the two\nOrphan-Houses, which, at the time when this Report was issued, were of\nimportance to the donors, but are left out now, as it seems desirable to\nmake this edition of the Narrative as concise as may be. This plan has\nalso been adopted concerning the three previous papers, and will be\nfurther adhered to.]\n\nGEORGE MUeLLER.\n\nBristol, Dec. 20, 1836.\n\nDecember 31. We had this evening a prayer-meeting to praise the Lord for\nHis goodness during the past year, and to ask Him for a continuance of His\nfavours during the coming year. We continued together till half-past\neleven. During the past year there have been received into the church of\nGideon, 23 brethren and sisters, and into that of Bethesda, 29--altogether\n52. Of these 52, 31 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through\nthe instrumentality of brother Craik and me. There have now been admitted\ninto Gideon Church, 79 brethren and sisters who have been converted\nthrough our instrumentality, and 86 into the Church of Bethesda: 165 seals\nto our ministry in Bristol. Besides this, several have fallen asleep in\nthe faith who never were in communion with us; several of our spiritual\nchildren are connected with other churches in and out of Bristol; and many\nare now standing as hopeful characters on the list of candidates for\nfellowship. There have been added to the church of Gideon, since we came\nto Bristol, 154; to the church at Bethesda, 193--altogether 347; so that\nthe number of both churches would be 415 (68 believers we found at\nGideon), had there been no changes; but:\n\nOf Gideon church are under\nchurch discipline 5; of Bethesda 8; altogether 13\n\nDo. have fallen asleep 15 do. 7 do. 22\n\nDo. have left Bristol 12 do. 6 do. 18\n\nDo. have left us, but are\nstill in Bristol . . 9 do. 4 do. 13\n\n41 25 66\n\nThere are, therefore, at present, in fellowship with us at Gideon 181,\nand at Bethesda 168--altogether 349.\n\nThe Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, as it regards\nmy temporal supplies:--\n\n1. In offerings through the boxes L133 8s. 9d.\n\n2. In presents of money, from brethren in and out of Bristol L56 13s. 0d.\n\n3. Through family connexion L5 0s. 0d.\n\n4. Besides this have been sent to us clothes, provisions, &c., which were\nworth to us at least L30 0s. 0d.\n\n5. We have been living half free of rent during the last nine months,\nwhereby we have saved at least L7 10s. 0d.\n\nAltogether L232 11s. 9d.\n\nJanuary 2, 1837. This evening the two churches had again an especial\nprayer-meeting, which was continued till half-past ten.\n\nJanuary 5. Today a sister called and told me about the conversion of her\nfather, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years lived\nopenly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the Lord. May this\nencourage the children of God to continue to pray for their aged parents\nand other persons; for this sister had long prayed for the conversion of\nher father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the Lord gave her\nthe desire of her heart. It was an especial refreshment to my spirit to\nhear the particulars of this case, as I had known so much of the sinful\nlife of this aged sinner.\n\nJanuary 31, and February 2. These two days we have had especial meetings\nfor prayer and humiliation, on account of the influenza, to acknowledge\nthe hand of God in this chastisement, as the disease is so prevalent in\nBristol.\n\nApril 8. There are now 60 Children in the two Orphan-Houses, 30 in each.\n\nApril 22. The Lord has mercifully stayed the typhus fever in the\nOrphan-House, in answer to prayer. There were only two cases, and\nthe children are recovering.\n\nApril 24. This evening we had a comfortable meeting with 30 brethren and\nsisters over the Word. (Of late brother Craik and I have frequently set\napart an evening, generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty or\nthirty brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend the rest\nof the evening in prayer and meditation over the Scriptures. We began\nthese meetings chiefly on account of having thus an opportunity of seeing\nmore of the saints, as the greatness of the number of those in communion\nwith us makes it impossible to see them as often in their houses, as it\nmight be profitable, or as often as we desire. We commenced these meetings\nin our own houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seen\nlittle. After we had had several meetings in our own houses, we were\ninvited by the brethren and sisters, and they have asked others to meet\nus. Sometimes also we have proposed those for invitation whom we see but\nseldom. These meetings we have found both for ourselves and others very\nuseful, and they will, no doubt, continue to be a blessing, as long as the\nLord shall enable us to precede and follow them with prayer. They are also\nparticularly important as a means of the brethren becoming acquainted with\neach other, and of uniting their hearts.)\n\nMay 13. Today I have had again much reason to mourn over my corrupt\nnature, particularly on account of want of gratitude for the many temporal\nmercies by which I am surrounded. I was so sinful as to be dissatisfied on\naccount of the dinner, because I thought it would not agree with me,\ninstead of thanking God for the rich provision, and asking heartily the\nLord's blessing upon it, and remembering the many dear children of God who\nwould have been glad of such a meal. I rejoice in the prospect of that day\nwhen, in seeing Jesus as He is, I shall be like Him. May 14. Lord's-day.\nThe Lord, instead of chastising me today for the ingratitude and\ndiscontent, of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength in preaching,\nand bringing temporal want upon me, has given me a good day. I have\npreached with much assistance and comfort, and the Lord has given me rich\ntemporal supplies: for besides the freewill offerings of 2l. 8s. 10d., a\n5l. note was put into my hand for the supply of any want I may have. Thus\nthe Lord melted the heart by love, and made me still more see the baseness\nof my conduct yesterday. Thanks be to God, the day is coming, when Satan\nwill triumph no more!\n\nMay 18. There are now 64 children in the two Orphan-Houses, and two more\nare expected, which will fill the two houses.\n\nMay 28. The narrative of some of the Lord's dealings with me is now near\nbeing published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and\nrepeatedly since, to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to give me what\nis wanting of the 1000l., for which sum I have asked Him on behalf of the\norphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much\nso, that I have repeatedly been able to thank God, that He will surely\ngive me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be\nenough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan-House had been\ncommenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and the\nchurch there might be another visible proof, that the Lord delights in\nanswering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the 1000l. wanting; and,\nas I earnestly desired, the book might not leave the press, before every\nshilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one\nsingle individual having been asked by me for any thing, that thus I might\nhave the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in this\nbook:--for these reasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly to\nprayer about this matter since May 21. On May 22 came in 7l. 10s.,\nand on May 23, 3l. On May 24 a lady, whom I never saw before, called on\nme and gave me 40l. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the\nLord showed me thereby afresh His willingness to continue to send us\nlarge sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have\nnever seen before. On May 26th 3l. 6s. was sent, from two unexpected\nquarters. On May 27 was sent anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes from\nLondon and a sovereign. Today (May 28) I received again 4l. 3s. 6d.; and\nalso a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing\nseven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the\nsupport of the orphans: 1 gold pin with an Irish pearl, 15 Irish\npearls, 2 pine, 2 brooches, 2 lockets, 1 seal, 2 studs, 11 rings,\n1 chain, and 1 bracelet, all of gold.\n\nJune 15. Today I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the\nremainder of the 1000l. This evening 5l. was given, so that now the whole\nsum is made up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve, I\nwould state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles\nof clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing\npages, have been given to me, without one single individual having been\nasked by me for any thing. The reason why I have refrained altogether from\nsoliciting any one for help is, that the hand of God evidently might be\nseen in the matter, that thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged more\nand more to trust in Him, and that also those who know not the Lord, may\nhave a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a vain thing to pray to God. As\nthe Lord then has con-descended most fully, and even above my\nexpectations, to answer my prayers, arid to Fill my mouth (Psalm lxxxi.\n10,) will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the Lord, to praise\nHim for His condescension. It is a wonderful thing that such a worthless,\nfaithless servant as I am, should have power with God. Take courage from\nthis for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I am, so little\nconformed to the mind of Jesus, has his prayers answered, may not you\nalso, at last, have your requests granted to you. During eighteen months\nand ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. From\nthe moment I asked it, till the Lord granted it fully, I had never been\nallowed to doubt that He would give every shilling of that sum. Often have\nI praised Him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my request.\nThe thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we\nbelieve that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24. \"What things soever ye\ndesire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have\nthem.\" But this I often find lacking in my prayers. Whenever, however, I\nhave been enabled to believe that I receive, the Lord has dealt with me\naccording to my faith. This moment while I am writing (June 28, 1837), I\nam waiting on the Lord for 17l. 10s., the rent for two school-rooms, which\nwill be due in three days, and I have but 3l. towards that sum. I believe\nGod can give; I believe God is willing to give it, if it be for our real\nwelfare; I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I cannot in\nthe triumph of faith praise Him beforehand, that He will assuredly give me\nthis small sum. I am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ring\nat the bell, for help; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it;\nbut as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of those\nschool rooms, as I should, if I had the money already in my pocket.\n\nAs the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as I\nconsider it one of the particular talents which He has intrusted to me, to\nexercise faith upon His promises regarding my own temporal wants and those\nof others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above seven years of age seems\ngreatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how to\nprovide for the little boys, in the Infant-Orphan-House when they are\nabove seven years of age; I purpose to establish an Orphan-House for about\nforty boys above seven years of age. But there are three difficulties in\nthe way, which must first be removed, before I could take any further step\nin this work. 1. My hands are more than filled already through the work\narising from the ministry of the Word, the attending to the ordering of\nchurch affairs, and the oversight of 370 brethren and sisters. And yet, in\naddition to this, I have also the work which comes upon me in connexion\nwith the six day-schools, a Sunday-school, an adult-school, the two\nOrphan-Houses, and the circulation of the Scriptures. (This latter part\nof the work is more and more increasing; for merely within the last seven\nmonths 836 copies of the Scriptures have been circulated). For these\nreasons, then, I could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour,\nexcept the Lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward,\ncould take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts,\nobtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving advice in\nordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses, attending\nto the applications for admission of children in the Orphan-Houses, &c.\nBut whether there is an Orphan-House for boys established\nor not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extent\nof the work is now, and I therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers\nwho may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother may\nbe found. 2. In addition to this, it would be needful, before I could take\nany further step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, add other\nsuitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. 3.\nThe third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it is the will of\nGod that I should go forward in the Orphan-House is, that He provide the\nmeans for such an enlargement of the work. Whilst, on the one hand I would\nconfess to the praise of God, that He has been pleased to give me faith to\ntrust in Him; yet, on the other hand, I desire to be kept from presumption\nand enthusiasm. I do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or till\nthe Institution is endowed; but I must have such a sum given to me as is\nneeded to furnish a house for forty boys, and to clothe that number, and\nto have a little to begin with: without such a sum I should not consider\nit to be the will of God to enlarge the field. What I ask then from the\nbrethren who may feel interested in seeing an Orphan-House for boys\nestablished in Bristol is, that they would help me with their prayers,\nthat if it be the will of God, He Himself would be pleased to remove these\nthree difficulties out of the way.\n\n[Whilst the preceding pages of the first edition of this Narrative were\nin the press, and before the reception of the last proof sheet for\ncorrection, the same friend who gave me on May 24, 1837, Forty Pounds for\nthe orphans, and whom up to that time I had never seen, gave on July 12,\n1837, Four Hundred and Sixty Pounds more, being altogether Five Hundred\nPounds.]\n\nREVIEW OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, THE TIME THAT I HAVE\n\nLABOURED IN BRISTOL WITH BROTHER CRAIK.\n\nJULY, 1837.\n\nI. Some of the mercies which the Lord has granted to us during this period.\n\nConcerning all this time I have most especially to say, that goodness and\nmercy have followed me every day. My blessings have been many and great,\nmy trials few and small. To the praise of God I will mention a few of the\nmany mercies which He has bestowed on me.\n\n1. I consider it one of the especial mercies that, amidst so many\nengagements I have been kept in the ways of God, and that this day I have\nas much desire as ever, yea more than ever, to live alone for Him, who has\ndone so much for me. My greatest grief is that I love Him so little. I\ndesire many things concerning myself; but I desire nothing so much, as to\nhave a heart filled with love to the Lord. I long for a warm personal\nattachment to Him.\n\n2. I consider it likewise a great mercy, for which I can never\nsufficiently praise God, that, whilst during these last five years so many\nof His children have fallen into great errors, and even those who once ran\nwell, I, who am so faithless to Him, should have been kept from them.\nThere is scarcely one point of importance, comparatively speaking,\nrespecting which I have had scriptural reason to alter my views, since I\nhave come to Bristol. My views concerning the fundamental truths of the\ngospel are the same as they were at the end of the year 1829 though I have\nbeen more and more established in them during these last five years, and\nhave seen more minutely the mind of God concerning many truths. My relish\nfor the study of the word of God has not decreased.\n\n3. I consider it further an exceeding great mercy, that I have been kept\nin uninterrupted love and union with my brother, friend, and\nfellow-labourer, Henry Craik. Very few of the blessings that the Lord has\nbestowed on him, on me, and on the two churches, whose servants we are,\nare of greater importance. There is not one point of importance, as it\nregards the truth, on which we differ. In judgment, as to matters\nconnected with the welfare of the saints among whom we labour, we have\nbeen almost invariably at once of one mind. (Lord, to Thee is the praise\ndue for this!!!) We are as much, or more than ever united in spirit; and\nif the Lord permit, we desire to labour together till He come. Who that\nknows the proneness in man to seek his own, and to get glory to himself;\nwho that knows that the heart naturally is full of envy; who that is\nacquainted with the position which we both hold in the church, and the\noccasions thereby occurring for the flesh to feel offended:--who that\nconsiders these things will not ascribe our union, our uninterrupted union\nand love, entirely to the Lord? Let the brethren among whom we labour\npraise God much for it! Let the brethren everywhere, who may read this,\npraise God for it! This union has glorified God! This union has sprung\nfrom God! But, for this union we depend now as much as ever upon God, and\ntherefore let the brethren pray, that God in mercy would give us grace, to\nput aside every thing that might hinder it.\n\n4. We have had much joy on account of the scriptural conduct of many of\nthe children of God among whom we labour. The two churches have on the\nwhole shown, in some measure, that even in our day there can be love among\nthe brethren. I do not mean that we have been without trials on account of\nthe behaviour of the saints under our care; nor do I mean to say, that\neither we or they have followed Christ as we might or ought to have done;\nbut only, that we have been mercifully kept hitherto from great divisions;\nthat the cases in which acts of discipline were needed (as the list at the\nend of the last two years shows) were so few; that we have had much more\njoy than sorrow on account of the brethren and sisters:--these are\nmatters, worthy to be noticed among the special blessings which God has\nbestowed on us during the last five years.\n\n5. Another mercy I mention is, that it has pleased God to keep us from\nsome most awful characters, who either actually had proposed themselves\nfor fellowship, or desired to do so, and who, so far as the testimony by\nword of mouth went, could fully satisfy us. From several such individuals\nwho lived in open sin, we have been kept, by the Spirit constraining them\nto confess, and that, perhaps, even against their own will, their wicked\ndeeds, which they were practicing; in other instances we suspected them,\nand, on making inquiry, found out their sins.\n\n6. Another mercy which the Lord has kindly bestowed on us is, that though\nneither Brother Craik nor I am strong in body, yet we have been helped\nthrough much work; and, at the time when we were laid aside, the Lord made\nup our lack of service, either by sending help from without, or by putting\ninto exercise the gifts of the brethren among us. At those seasons\ndisunion might so easily have sprung up among the brethren; but the good\nshepherd of the sheep watched so graciously over the flock, that they were\nkept together in much love and union, whereby also a testimony was given\nfor God, that their faith stood not in the power of man.\n\n7. Sometimes, when particular trials were laid on us, and things appeared\nvery dark, the Lord most mercifully not only supported us under those\ntrials, but also unexpectedly delivered us much sooner out of them, than\nwe could have at all anticipated. May this especially encourage brethren\nwho labour in word and doctrine, or who rule in the church, to trust in\nthe Lord in Seasons of peculiar trial!\n\n8. My temporal wants have all these five years been most richly supplied,\nso that not once have I lacked the necessaries of life, and generally I\nhave abounded; and all this without having one shilling of regular income.\nI am not tired of this way of living, nor have I even for once been\nallowed to regret having begun to live in this way.\n\nII. The work of the Lord in our hands.\n\n1. It has pleased the Lord to continue to bless the word preached by us\nto the conversion of many sinners, and there seems to have been no period\nduring these five years, in which this work has been stopped by Him. There\nhave come again several cases before us lately, in which individuals have\nbeen recently brought to apprehend their lost state by nature, and to see\nthat Jesus of Nazareth alone can save them. The whole number of those who\nhave been converted through our instrumentality in Bristol, and who have\nbeen received into fellowship with us is 178; besides this, the Lord has\ngiven us many seals to our ministry in this city, but the individuals are\nnow either only standing on the list of candidates for fellowship, or are\nunited to other churches in and out of Bristol, or have fallen asleep\nbefore they were united to us.\n\n2. The whole number of the brethren and sisters, now in fellowship with\nus, is 370: 189 at Gideon, 181 at Bethesda.\n\n3. It is now three years and four months since brother Craik and I began,\nin dependence upon the Lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of the\nGospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the Holy\nScriptures, and by aiding Missionary exertions. Since then there have been\ncirculated through our instrumentality 4030 copies of the Scriptures; four\nDay-Schools for poor children have been established by us; 1119 children\nhave been instructed in the six Day-Schools, and 353 children are now in\nthose six Day-Schools. Besides this, a Sunday-School, and an Adult-School\nhave been supplied with all they needed, and Missionary exertions in the\nEast Indies, in Upper Canada, and on the Continent of Europe, have been\naided. In addition to this the word of God has been preached from house to\nhouse among the poor, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge\nInstitution, by brother C-r, within the last two years.\n\n4. There have been received into the Orphan-Houses 74 orphans, and there\nare now 64 in them.\n\nAnd now, in conclusion, I would say that the reason, why I have spoken so\nplainly about the sins of my unconverted days, is, that I may magnify the\nriches of the grace of God, which has been bestowed on me, a guilty\nwretch. I have weighed much whether I should do so or not, knowing well\nwhat contempt it may bring on me; but it appeared to me, after much\nprayer, that as the object of this little work is to speak well of the\nLord, I should say in a few words what I once was, in order that it might\nbe seen so much the more clearly, what He has done for me. I also judged\nthat, in doing so, some, who live at present in sin, might see through my\nexample the misery into which sin leads, even as it regards the present\nlife, and the happiness which is connected with the ways of God; and that\nthey also might be encouraged through what God has done for me, to turn to\nHim. I have made myself therefore a fool, and degraded myself in the eyes\nof the inhabitants of Bristol, that you, my dear unconverted fellow\nsinners, who may read this, may, with God's blessing, be made wise. The\nlove of Christ has constrained me to speak about my former lies, thefts,\nfraud, &c., that you might be benefited. Do not think that I am a fool,\nand therefore I have told out my heart in my folly; but I have made myself\na fool for the benefit of your souls. May God in mercy, for His dear Son's\nsake, grant that these pages may be a savour of life unto life to you!\n\nThe reason why I have spoken so plainly about some of the sins and errors\ninto which I have fallen since my conversion, and about my answers to\nprayer, and the supplies of my temporal wants, and some of my family\nconcerns, and the success which God has given to our labours,--is not,\nbecause I do not know that it is contrary to worldly custom, and against\nthe interests of my worldly reputation; nor is it, as if I made light of\nmy falls; nor as if I would boast in having had my prayers so often\nanswered, and having been in such a variety of ways used as an instrument\nin doing the Lord's work; but, I have written what I have written for the\nbenefit of my brethren. I have mentioned some of my sins and errors, that\nthrough my loss the brethren who may read this may gain. I have mentioned\nthe answers of prayer, that through them they may be encouraged to make\nknown their requests unto God. I have spoken about my temporal supplies,\nthat through seeing how richly God has supplied my temporal wants, since\nthe commencement of 1830, when I left London, they may be stirred up \"to\nseek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,\" resting assured,\nthat, in doing so, He will give them what is needful for the life that now\nis. I have alluded to some family circumstances, that children of God may\nbe encouraged to cast their family burdens upon the Lord, in order that,\nin doing so, they may find Him carrying the burdens for them. And lastly,\nI have written about the success which God has been pleased to grant us in\nHis work, that it may be seen, that, in acting on scriptural principles,\nwe have the Lord on our side, and that our mode of preaching is honoured\nby Him. If in anything which I have written I have been mistaken (and what\nhuman work is there which is free from error), I have been mistaken after\nmuch prayer. Whilst writing I have often asked help of God. Whilst\nrevising the work, I have still again and again bowed my knees. I have\nalso frequently entreated the Lord to bless this feeble effort of mine to\nspeak to His praise, and I have not the slightest hesitation in saying,\nthat, from the earnestness and comfort which I have enjoyed in prayer, and\nfrom the sincere self-examination of my heart, I know that God will bless\nthis little work. May I ask you then, my brethren and sisters, who have\nbeen benefited in reading this book, to help me with your prayers, that it\nmay be blessed to others. May I also ask you, my brethren and sisters, who\nthink I ought not to have published it, to ask God to bless that which you\nyourselves consider good and scriptural in it.\n\nAnd, now last of all, brethren beloved in the Lord, remember me in your\nprayers.\n\nEND OF THE FIRST PART","title":"A Narrative of Some of the Lord's Dealings with George M\u00fcller. Part 1","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":83566}