{"collection":"folklore-oral-tradition","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_41274/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_41274","id":"gutenberg_41274","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/41274","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Philosophy & Ethics","Common fallacies","Folklore -- Great Britain"],"text":"Transcriber's note: The errata listed at the end of the work have been\ncorrected where they occur in the text.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n\nA NEW\n\nCATALOGUE\n\nOF\n\nVULGAR ERRORS.\n\nBY\n\nSTEPHEN FOVARGUE, A.M.\n\nFELLOW OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n    In many Cases one with Amazement hears the Arguings, and is astonished\n    at the Obstinacy, of a worthy Man, who yields not to the Evidence of\n    Reason, tho' laid before him as clear as Day-light. LOCKE.\n\n    _Sunt delicta tamen, quibus ignovisse velimus._ HOR.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n_CAMBRIDGE_,\nPrinted for the AUTHOR:\n\n    Sold by FLETCHER & HODSON in Cambridge; S. CROWDER in Pater-noster-Row,\n    J. DODSLEY in Pall-Mall, M. HINGESTON near Temple-Bar, and G. KEARSLY\n    in Ludgate-street, London; J. FLETCHER at Oxford; and the Booksellers\n    at Norwich, Lynn, York, and Newcastle. 1767.\n\n(Price HALF A CROWN.)\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nPREFACE.\n\nTo explain the Use of Education, no Method can be more effectual, than to\nshew what dull Mistakes and silly Notions Men are apt to be led into for\nWant of it. These Mistakes are so numerous, that if we were to undertake to\ndivulge all the Errors that Men of no Knowledge in the Sciences labour\nunder, the shortest Way would be to publish a compleat System of Natural\nPhilosophy, which Learning, as it may be acquired by reading the different\nBooks, which have already been wrote upon that Subject, in this \u00c6ra of the\nSciences, such an Undertaking would be quite needless at this Time, even\nsupposing the Author capable of that laborious Work.\n\nIf the following Sheets do but serve to divest Men of some of those\nunreasonable Obstinacies with which they and their Forefathers have long\nbeen prepossessed, the Time will be well laid out, both of the Writer and\nReader.\n\nBe not affronted, gentle Reader, at my taxing thee with Error, with\nObstinacy, or the like; thou mayest not be one of that Stamp; for any Thing\nI know you may have studied the Sciences, you may be well versed in\nMechanics, Optics, Hydrostatics, and Astronomy; you may have made the Tour\nof Europe, if not, you may soon do it in Post-Chaises, and be almost as\nwise as you was when you went out; or you may be one of those whom\nbountiful Nature has blessed with a most excellent Understanding, a quick\nApprehension, and a discerning Judgment, and yet not have been so\nfortunate, or unfortunate, which you think proper to term it, as to have\nbeen brought up a Scholar.\n\nScoff not when we dwell so much upon Scholarship; for I would have thee\nknow, whether thou thinkest proper to believe me or not, that had it not\nbeen for the four Branches of Learning abovementioned, thou wouldest not\nhave been smoaking that Pipe of right Virginia, which in all Probability\n(whether thou art a Farmer in the Country, or a Mechanic in London) thou\nart now most pompously blowing to Ashes: Neither would that charming Bowl\nof Rum and Brandy Punch mixed, have waited at thy Elbow to inspire thee\nwith generous Sentiments (which Punch, let me tell thee, if thou drinkest\nin Moderation, may keep thee from the Ague, if thou livest in the Hundreds\nof Essex.)--Nay, thou wouldest not even have known what it was to have\ntasted a Plumb-Pudding, which, tho' now, thy Palate being vitiated with\nsalt Pork and Mustard, and bottled Beer, thou hast no Relish for, yet thou\nmayest remember the Time when thou didst think it most delicious Food. To\nPhilosophy art thou beholden for all these Dainties and Comforts of Life,\nwhich if thou dost contradict, and dost still obstinately persist in thy\nown Opinion, and wilt not be convinced of thy Errors, know, Dust and Ashes,\nthat thou art not sensible whether thou movest or standest still; and dost\nimagine, that the glorious Sun is an extempore Whirligig.\n\nWonder not, Reader, if thou art a Man of Sense, that thou shouldest be\nmistaken in many Things: For what Mortal can pretend to such Knowledge as\nnever to be mistaken? Truth is more difficult to be found out than is\ngenerally imagined: Error is easily fallen into; by so much the easier as\nthe Odds are against us: For in the Disquisition of any Point, there are\nnumberless Wrongs, but there is only one Right. Numberless Falshoods and\nErrors may be raised about any Thing, but Truth is invariable, and remains\nthe same to all Eternity.\n\nThe following Sheets will not contain many philosophical Terms; we shall\nrather avoid such a Step as would hinder a great Part of our Readers from\nunderstanding us, and shall endeavour to explain ourselves by such Methods\nas the meanest Capacity will be able to comprehend. Moreover, all such\nSubjects will be avoided as may interfere with any religious Tenets, it not\nbeing the Intention of this Pamphlet to deprive Men of their Rest, by\ntearing from their Consciences those fixed Protestant Principles of\nReligion (let them be what they will) which they and their Ancestors have\nlong and peaceably enjoyed. But our Disquisitions will be chiefly confined\nto natural Objects, and the Ph\u00e6nomena which daily present themselves to our\nView. We shall likewise endeavour to rectify some of those Mistakes in the\ncommon Arts of Life, whether of Business or Pleasure, which Men by an\naccustomed Tradition are apt most obstinately to persevere in.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nINTRODUCTION.\n\nThe third Error is one which Sir Thomas Brown has taken Notice of; and it\nmust be acknowledged, that the inserting of it here was a Mistake. However,\nwe hope that it will be excused, since it is seven Years since the Author\nof this little Pamphlet had the Pleasure of reading _a Part_ of Dr. Brown's\nVulgar Errors, and then he did not see that Error; it being not regularly\nplaced among the others, but in a separate Detachment from the main Body.\nNotwithstanding the general Perspicuity of this Author, we are apt to think\nthat he never heard a Bittern himself, but only went by Hearsay with\nrespect to the Noise which is made by that Bird, however skilled he shews\nhimself in the Anatomy of it. He says, that it differs but little from the\ncroaking of a Raven. We can assure the Reader, that neither the Noise it\nmakes when it draws in the Air, nor the Sound it gives when it throws it\nout again, have the least Resemblance to the Croaking of a Raven, as he\ncalls it.\n\nA Raven makes a much shriller Noise than any of the Crow Kind,\nnotwithstanding it is a larger Bird. I make no Doubt but the Voice of a\nRaven is twelve or thirteen Notes higher than the Voice of a Rook; besides,\nhe makes his Notes quick and sharp one after another; whereas a Bittern\ntakes near five Seconds between every Sound, and (as will be affirmed) in\nas deep a Note as the fourth String of a double Bass.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  ERROR I.\n\n    _That the more Ammunition is put into a Fowling Piece, the farther it\n    will do Execution._\n\nThis Error is often of very dangerous and dreadful Consequence; I have\nknown People so obstinate in it, that even ocular Demonstration would not\nconvince them of their Mistake.\n\nIt proceeds from a Notion, that the more a Gun recoils, the better and\nstronger will be the Force with which the Shot fly out.\n\nThere is nothing which requires more Nicety and Exactness than the finding\nout the proper Charge of a Gun; it is something similar to finding out the\nTone of a musical Instrument; of which more in its Place.\n\nIt will be sufficient here to say, that every Gun has a certain fixed\nQuantity of Ammunition, with which it does the most Execution. I have seen\nLectures in the Art of Gunnery, which come under the Science of Mechanics,\nand even the Author himself, though a Man of Learning and Abilities, seems\nto have been ignorant of the Art of charging a Gun, when he says, \"If you\nput in a Gun, a Ball upon a Quantity of Powder as (1), it will throw the\nBall to such a Distance; if you put in a Quantity as (2), it will throw it\nas far again.\" This seems to be a Mistake; because, if that was the Case, a\nPerson would have nothing to do but to put Powder enough into his Gun, and\nhave the Barrel made strong enough, and he need not fear killing at any\nDistance. As to the Recoil it would give, if the Gunner was a strong\nCountry Gentleman, and a keen Sportsman, and an Englishman, it would be the\nleast of his Thoughts whether it struck him a great Blow or a small one.\n\nBut to the Point: There is no better Way of finding out the proper Charge\nof a Gun, than by the Report it gives. If there is too much Powder and too\nlittle Shot, the Report will be a kind of a deep Roar; if too little Powder\nand too much Shot, it will be an insignificant, short, narrow Smack; but if\nit is charged properly, the Report will be a smart, shrill Clap, something\nresembling Thunder.\n\nThis is the Reason why the Report of a Sportsman's Gun is so different from\nthat of a Field-Keeper's. The Field-Keeper has, or ought to have, no Shot\nin his Piece; the Sportsman's is properly loaded.\n\nIn short, there is a Tone in the Barrel of a Gun, and the better the Temper\nof the Metal is, the more shrill will be the Report, and the farther it\nwill do Execution.\n\nI have dwelt the longer upon this Subject, because a Gun is an ugly Weapon\nin the Hands of those who are either ignorant or careless, or both.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  II.\n\n    _That the Heron makes a Hole in the Bottom of her Nest, through which\n    her Feet hang, when she sits upon her Eggs._\n\nWhat seems to have led People into this Error, is, the Appearance which a\nHeron makes upon her Nest: You may sometimes see her Feet when she is\nsitting.\n\nNow it seems unaccountable, how a Bird should sit upon her Eggs on a Tree,\nand yet her Feet appear to a Spectator below. For any Person who takes\nNotice of a Bird sitting upon her Eggs, will find that she doubles them up\nunder her, and that they are hid among her Feathers and the Eggs; so that\nif this is the Case, there can be no other Way of seeing her Feet, but by a\nHole through the Bottom of the Nest.\n\nBut this is not the Case with the Heron, nor the Bittern, another Bird\nresembling the Heron. When these Birds sit upon their Nests, their Legs lie\nstraight out behind them, in a Line parallel to the Plain of the Horizon,\nin the same Posture as when they fly. This accounts for the Phoenomenon of\nthe Feet appearing on the outside of the Nest.\n\nThese Birds have Legs of a remarkable Length, as every one must know, for\nthey are a very common Bird; and when they sit, or rather lie, upon their\nEggs in the abovesaid Posture, the Nest is unable to contain these long\nLegs, and by that Means they hang over the Side of it, and are seen by\nthose who are under the Trees on which they build.\n\nWith regard to any Thing of a Hole through the Bottom of the Nest, nothing\ncan be more fabulous: I once had the Sight of a large Tree, which had been\nblown down in a high Wind, and was full of Heron's Nests. They are built\nexactly in the Form of a Crow's Nest, and of the same Materials, only as\nthe Nests were larger than those of Crows, so there were some larger Pieces\nof Sticks than Crows generally make Use of; and so far are they from having\na Hole at the Bottom, that it was impossible to find a Passage through any\nPart of the Nest, with a stout walking Stick, so firm was the Texture of\nthem.\n\nIf any one doubts of this, if he will take the Trouble to climb any Tree in\na Heronry, he will be convinced of the Truth of what has been said, by\nocular Demonstration. But I would not advise him to do it when there are\nyoung ones.\n\nAs the Bittern has been mentioned in this Section, it will not be amiss to\nput in a Word or two concerning an Error, which passes very current in\nCountries where this Bird is found, and which we may venture to assert is\nequally fabulous with the former. It is,\n\n                  III.\n\n    _That the Bittern puts his Bill or Beak into a Reed, and that the Reed\n    gives, by the Breath and Motion of the Beak of the Bird, that deep and\n    loud Note which we so frequently hear him make as he lies in a Fenn._\n\nThis Bird, on Account of the Noise he makes, which is much such a one as if\na Person was to express the Word Bump in a deep Note, is in many Countries\ncalled a Butter-Bump: Nevertheless the true Name of him is Bittern, as may\nbe seen in several Books.\n\nOne particular Proof that Bittern is the true and ancient Name, may be seen\nin Stephens's Monasticon. The Author is giving us an Account of some\nExpenses which the Abbey of Peterborough was at, and among others there is\na Bill made of the Expences for the Supper at the Funeral of one of the\nAbbots of that Convent, in which, among a great Number of other costly\nDishes, and a Hogshead or two of Wine, which were drank, and an incredible\nQuantity of other Things too tedious to mention, there is a Sum set down\nfor a great Number of Bitterns; from which we may venture to conclude, that\nthey were esteemed very delicate eating amongst those Connoisseurs.\n\nI hope the Reader will pardon this Digression from the Point in Hand, when\nI take Occasion to observe, that here is another vulgar Error, which\nsupposes, that the present Times are more luxurious than the past. For to\nconvince us of this Mistake, we need go no farther than the aforesaid Book,\nand there we shall find, that as much Money was laid out, (in Proportion to\nthe Scarcity of Coin in those Times) upon the Funeral of one of those\nAbbots, as in the present Age will pay the Expences of a whole College for\na Twelvemonth.\n\nBut to return to our Bitterns: That they were esteemed very delicate eating\nat that Time, is plain, by their being served up at so splendid an\nEntertainment; and we think it may be called another vulgar Error, in a\nFarmer to suffer so fine a Bird to lie upon his Dunghill, while he and his\nWife and Family are regaling upon restie Bacon; which, as great an Error as\nit is, I have known done, and a Person who knew the Value of the Bird, has\ntaken the Bittern from off the Dunghill, and dressed it, and made a\ndelicious Meal.\n\nBut it is now Time to say something concerning the Error about the Noise it\nmakes.\n\nIt is very absurd to suppose it possible, that this deep Note can proceed\nfrom the Bird's putting his Beak into a Reed, even if it's Beak was formed\nfor the Purpose. Every one who knows of what vast Dimensions an Organ-Pipe\nmust be, to give such a loud, deep, bass Note as the Noise of a Bittern,\nknows also, that a Reed is incapable of making such a Noise as that. It\nmust be something with a hollow Tube of a much larger Diameter than a Reed,\nand the Wind must be thrown in with the greatest Exactness, both in regard\nto the Quantity of the Wind, and the Manner in which it is let in; and\nmoreover the Tube must have a proper Aperture made towards the End of it,\nof an exact Dimension according to the Size of the Tube, before it will\ngive any thing like a Tone at all. But here is a Sound as deep as the\nfourth String of a double Bass, given by an Animal, that may be heard four\nor five Miles off, in a still Evening.\n\nThe most probable Conjecture is, that the Noise is made by the Animal\nitself, with the Assistance of Nature alone; and we shall have the more\nReason to be of that Opinion, if we examine the Throat of the Bird, which\nis of so uncommon a Size, that a moderate Hand would go down it.\n\nNow a Sound given from the Windpipe into such a Cavern as this, may very\nprobably be the Cause of this deep Tone. It acts upon the same Principle as\nwhen a Person closes his Lips, and sounds a deep Note with his Voice.\nPerhaps after the Reader has made the Experiment, (as in all Probability he\nwill do) he may be convinced that it is a vulgar Error, to suppose that a\nBittern puts his Beak into a Reed, when he makes that remarkable Noise\nWhich is heard in a Fenn.\n\nIt may not appear foreign to the Purpose, when I say that I have heard a\nBittern make the Noise abovementioned, and that I have gone to the Spot,\nwhich was coarse Grass or Flags, just mowed, where there were no Reeds; and\nthe Bird rose up before me.\n\nHere I must beg Leave to put in a Word or two, by way of corroborating what\nhas been said about the Heron and the Bittern lying flat upon their Nests,\nwith their Legs parallel to the Plain of the Horizon.\n\nWhen the aforesaid Bittern rose up, I shot, and wounded him slightly, and\nmarked him down again in the same Kind of Grass or short mowed Flags. As\nthe Grass was not higher than one's Shoes, and it was wounded, I was in\nHopes of having the Pleasure of seeing him lie on the Ground very plain.\nHowever I let my Pointer go first, knowing that he would stand at the\nPlace. Accordingly made a dead Point at it. I came up as silent as\npossible, to take a View of it, but to my great Surprize, nothing was to be\nseen.\n\nThere was indeed something which appeared long, like two green Weeds lying\namong the Grass, and there was something like a large Spot of dryed Grass\nor Flags a little before them.\n\nWhile I was looking at the Place, the Dog, being out of Patience, seized\nHold of this Phoenomenon, which proved to be no other than the Bittern\nitself. Those Things which seemed to be green Weeds, were it's Legs\nextended at the full Length, behind the Bird, as it lay quite flat upon\nit's Belly; and that broad Spot of brown or dried Grass was the Body, with\nthe Wings extended to their full Stretch, quite flat upon the Ground,\nwhich, I believe, formed as compleat a Deceptio Visus as any Thing in\nNature.\n\nThus we see how wonderfully these Animals are formed for their\nSelf-Preservation; so wonderfully, that though they are near as large as a\nHeron, and much of the same Shape, it must be a keen Eye that distinguishes\ntheir long green Legs from Weeds, and their brown Backs from dried Grass;\nbut this Deceptio Visus is so notorious in Partridge, and many other\nSpecies of Game, that there is no Occasion to dwell any longer upon that;\nonly what has been said may serve to convince the Reader of the Truth of\nwhat has been observed in the foregoing Section, concerning the Posture of\na Heron and a Bittern on their Nests.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  IV.\n\n    _That the Tone of a Violin is to be brought out, by laying on like a\n    Blacksmith._\n\nBefore we can convince such of our Readers as have no Knowledge in that\nPart of Pneumatics which is called Harmonics, of this Mistake, it will be\nnecessary just to give a short Account of the Cause of Sound in stringed\nInstruments.\n\nIn the first Place, all Sound proceeds from Undulations in the Air, which\nis an elastic Fluid; and with regard to these Undulations, is much of the\nsame Nature as Water, which is another Fluid, but differs from Air in many\nRespects. Now when a Person throws a Stone into Water, these Undulations or\nWaves are raised in the Fluid for some Distance, by the Force and Action of\none Wave upon another. This is the Case with regard to Sound; only the Air\nbeing an elastic Fluid, these Undulations are more quick and brisk in their\nMotions than in Water. So much for Sound itself. Now for the Cause of this\nSound, or of these Undulations.\n\nThese Undulations are caused by the Vibration of some elastic Body, which\nis put into Motion by a Stroke of another Body against it. It must be an\nelastic Body (take notice) for upon that Word depends the Truth of what is\ngoing to be alledged. To convince the Reader of the Truth of this, he has\nnothing to do but to take a Rolling Pin, and strike it against a Pound of\nButter, and he will find very little or no Sound at all, because Butter has\nvery little Elasticity or Spring in it; but if he strikes the aforesaid\nImplement against the Table, he will find Sound enough, because most Tables\nare made of Wood, which is a very elastic Body. If there is no Butter in\nthe House, Wax will do as well or better, for it will prove that a Body may\nbe hard without being elastic, and which will be very much to the Purpose.\nIt will be necessary, before we can get any further, to explain what\nVibration is, a Word very commonly made Use of among Musical Men, tho' but\nlittle understood.\n\nTo be as short as possible; a Piece of Lead hung upon the End of a String,\nwhich moves backwards and forwards of itself after being first put into\nMotion, is called a Pendulum, and that Motion backwards and forwards is\ncalled its Vibration; it is upon this Principle that elastic Bodies are the\nCause of Sound. It will be best illustrated in a Musical Instrument,\nbesides that is the Point in Hand; and to be more to the Point still, we\nwill suppose it a Violin, though any other stringed Instrument would answer\nthe same End.\n\nHere we have four Strings stretched out upon a Bridge, or thin Piece of\nWood, which communicates to the Belly of the Instrument, from which Belly\nthe greatest Part of the Tone proceeds. Now a String drawn tight at both\nEnds, when it is struck, will have a Vibration or tremulous Motion, which\nVibration, or tremulous Motion, acts upon the same Principle as a Pendulum\ndoes in a Cycloid, or, to speak as plain as possible, as a Pendulum does\nwhen it is put into it's proper Motion.\n\nIt is upon this Principle of Vibration then, or tremulous Motion, that the\nString of a Violin, being moved by the Bow, is to act: The String\nimmediately communicates it's tremulous Motion to the Bridge, and the\nBridge to the Belly of the Instrument, which Belly being made of a very\nelastic Wood, by it's Vibration and free Motion, acts upon the Air in the\nManner abovementioned.\n\nAs it is the great Elasticity of the Wood which is to cause the Tone, it\nought to have as little Confinement in it's Vibrations as is possible; the\nWeight of the Strings must indeed press against it, otherwise they could\nnot communicate their Motion to it. We should therefore be careful not to\nover-string the Instrument, since it so plainly contradicts the Principles\nof Pneumatics.\n\nIt is easy to hear when an Instrument is over-strung; and sometimes an\nOctave in a Harpsichord, by it's additional Number of Strings, shall render\nthe Tone of the Instrument so dead, that, though it gives a Sprightliness\npeculiar to an Octave, yet it sometimes hardly compensates for the Loss of\nTone which it causes in the Unisons, by it's too great Pressure upon the\nBelly of the Instrument.\n\nAnd yet notwithstanding all this, what is more common than to see a\nPerformer, with his Waistcoat unbuttoned, laying Strokes on a Violin, heavy\nenough to fell an Ox.\n\nThe Truth is, managing the Bow is slight, and we must make Use of Art more\nthan Strength in our Performance: moreover, it is an Art which cannot be\nwrote down upon Paper, nor explained in Words, but must be learned by the\nExample and Direction of some assiduous Master. However what has been said\nmay serve to shew, from Philosophical Principles, the Error of leaning too\nhard upon the Instrument, which was the Thing intended to be done.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  V.\n\n    _That the farther you go South, the hotter is the Climate._\n\nGentle Reader, as thou art a Person of Understanding, thou wilt pardon the\nWant of Connection and Form which thou findest in the different Subjects\nwhich are here started for thy Entertainment: It would be very easy, in the\nfair Copy which will be wrote over, to range them, in an Order, suitable to\nthe different Branches to which they belong; but why should I pester thee\nwith Form, when there is nothing so agreeable to a Man of Taste as an easy\nVariety? Therefore, though it is ten to one that, before I have done with\nthee, I shall have some more Discourse with thee about Musical Instruments,\nyet I shall not humour thee as a Critic so much as to give thee it now;\nwell knowing, that if thou art determined to _Review_ me, thou mayest find\nAbundance of other Opportunities for it in this Book: And likewise, that if\nthou dost approve of what is here discussed, thou wilt, if thou art a\ngood-natured honest Fellow, pass by a little Incorrectness; for what else\ncan a Man hope for in a Book which treats of nothing but Blunders? However\nthe two following Sections may afford thee some Entertainment, if thou art\na Man of Learning, and if thou art not a Man of Learning, they will give\nthee some Instruction; and to tell thee the Truth, the Subject of them is\nso Philosophical, that if we were not fully convinced of the Truth of what\nwill be alledged, we should be afraid to undertake it.\n\nFor in this little Pamphlet, Philosophy will be avoided as much as\npossible, that is, it never will be introduced at all, unless it is\nabsolutely necessary to call in it's Aid, in order to prove the Truth of\nany Thing which shall be asserted. But to the Point; which is, to rectify\nthe vulgar Error, which supposes, that the farther a Person goes South, the\nhotter will be the Climate.\n\nThis is so well known to be an Error, by all Men of Science, and by all\nNavigators, that it is needless to say much about it, only just to relate\nthe Truth, that those who are mistaken in their Way may be set in the right\nRoad. But to proceed.\n\nThe two Poles of the Earth, that is, the two North and South Extremities of\nthe Globe, are in such a Position, or are so inclined to the Sun, or to the\nPlain of the Ecliptic, as never to have any Rays fall directly over their\nHeads, or they never have him any higher than a little above their Horizon,\nor the Surface of the Earth; for which Reason it is always cold at the\nNorth and South Poles, which will naturally be the Case, as any one may\nexperience by the different Position of the Sun, in Summer and Winter, in\nour own Climates.\n\nThe Case is exactly contrary at the \u00c6quator, or on the Middle of the Globe,\nwhich is farthest from the two Poles, for there they have the Sun over\ntheir Heads at Noon all the Year round; for which Reason it is always hot\nunder the Line, yet not always the hottest of any Part of the Globe, as has\nbeen sometimes philosophically supposed, and which shall be the Subject of\nthe next Chapter, to introduce which this was principally intended.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  VI.\n\n    _That exactly under the \u00c6quator is always the hottest Climate on the\n    Globe._\n\nThis Error by no Means ought to be called a vulgar one; because it is a\nCourse of Philosophical Study, joined to a Want of Experience, which gives\nOccasion to it. It is the Result of a Knowledge of the general Cause of\nHeat and Cold, in different Degrees of Latitude upon the Surface of the\nEarth; which Knowledge is apt to apply the Rules of Astronomy, that explain\nthe Phoenomena of Nature in general, to every Purpose that offers itself,\nin all Cases, without being able to search into the individual Parts of a\nSystem, on Account of the Distance of the Objects which are the Subjects of\nEnquiry. For though, as has been said before, for a just Astronomical\nReason, the Position will hold good, that those Inhabitants who are under\nthe Line, live in the hottest Climate in general, yet it is proved by the\nExperience of Navigators, that in several Parts under the \u00c6quator there is\na fine, mild, soft Climate, even excelling any of those in the temperate\nZones; so happily are Things disposed for the Purposes of Animal Life, by\nthe Author of Nature.\n\nThis is a Truth which we are constrained to believe, as we have so many\nliving Witnesses in our own Country, who are ready to assert it.\n\nWe have one accurate Account in Anson's Voyage, where the Author reasons\nvery Philosophically upon the Subject. This Author tells us, that the Crew\nof the Centurion were in some Uneasiness about the Heat of the Climate,\nwhich they expected they were to undergo, when they came to that Part of\nthe \u00c6quator which is near the American Coast, upon the South Sea; but that\nwhen they came under the Line, instead of those scalding Winds which\nsometimes blow in immensely hot Climates, they were agreeably surprized\nwith the softest Zephyrs imaginable; and that, instead of being scorched by\nthe perpendicular Rays of the Sun, they had a fine Covering of thin grey\nClouds over their Heads, and just enough of them to serve for a Screen,\nwithout looking dark and disagreeable. Many other Beauties of the Climate\nthe Author describes, which need not be mentioned here, as it is easy to\nsee the Book.\n\nHe accounts for the extraordinary Mildness of the Climate in Words to this\nPurpose:\n\n\"There are Mountains on the Sea Coast of this Latitude, of an enormous\nHeight and great Extent, called the Andes, the Tops and Sides of which are\ncovered with everlasting Snow. These Mountains cast a Shade and Coolness\nround them, for several Leagues, and by their Influence it is, that the\nClimate is so temperate under that Part of the Line. But, says the Author,\nwhen we had sailed beyond the \u00c6quator, into four or five Degrees of North\nLatitude, and were got out of the Influence of those Mountains covered with\nSnow, we then began to feel that we were near the Line, and the Climate was\nas hot as we could have expected to have found it at the \u00c6quator itself.\"\n\nThere can be no Doubt of the Truth of this Account: No Man would have made\nsuch Assertions as these, if they had not been true, when there were so\nmany living Witnesses to have contradicted such an idle, needless Falshood\nas this would have been. And indeed the Appearance of wise Design in the\nAuthor of Nature is no where more conspicuous than in these Instances of\nhis Care for the Preservation of the animal System. What could we have\nexpected more than Mountains of Snow in Greenland? And even in those frozen\nRegions we have as great Instances of the same Providence: When the Springs\nare all frozen up, in that severe Climate, they have sometimes, even in the\nmiddle of Winter, such mild South Winds as serve to thaw the Snow, so as to\ncause Water to settle in the Valleys, and to run under the Ice in\nQuantities large enough to serve the Purposes of animal Life; not to\nmention the great Quantities of Timber which the Surf of the Sea brings\nupon that Coast, from other Countries; without which the Inhabitants would\nhave no Firing, nor Timber for their Huts, nor Shafts for their Arrows, as\nthere are no Trees in that Country.\n\nAnd now I hope it will not be thought too bold an Analogy if we presume to\nsay, that as, contrary to all Expectation, at the \u00c6quator (where\nintolerable Heat might be expected) the Inhabitants are provided with\nMountains covered with Snow, to qualify their Atmosphere; why may not we\nsuppose, that at the very Poles themselves there may be some Cause, unknown\nto us, which may render the Climate serene and mild, even in that supposed\nuninhabitable Part of the Globe? Why may there not be hot, burning Minerals\nin the Earth at the Poles, as well as snowy Mountains at the \u00c6quator?\n\nWe have Reason to think that the Composition of the Earth, at that Part of\nthe Globe, is of an extraordinary Nature; as the magnetic Quality of it is\nto be apprehended, from it's immediate Attraction of the Needle. We are\nentirely ignorant of the Soil, of the Place, and of the Constitution of the\nInhabitants, if there are any. We are certain that, near Greenland, there\nare Sands of so extraordinary a Nature, that the Wind will carry great\nClouds of them several Leagues to Sea, and they will fall into the Eyes and\nMouths of Navigators, who are sailing past the Coast, at a great Distance.\nThis Instance only serves to shew, that we may be quite ignorant of the\nNature of the Soil which is under the Pole; we cannot tell whether it\nconsists of Mountains or Caverns, fiery Volcanos or craggy Rocks, of Ice,\nLand, or Water, cultivated Fields or barren Desarts.\n\nWhat has been laid will seem less strange, if we look back into the Notions\nwhich the Ancients had of the Torrid Zone. It is not long since it was\nthought, that only the Temperate Zone on this Side the \u00c6quator was\nhabitable; so far were they from attempting to find out another Temperate\nZone beyond the \u00c6quator, that nobody dare approach near the Line, for Fear\nof being roasted alive. This is the true State of the Case; and if it be so\nthat the Ancients were, for such a vast Number of Years, under a mistaken\nNotion, concerning the Possibility of living under or near the Line, why\nmay not we, who are neither more daring nor more ingenious than the old\nRomans, be likewise mistaken, or rather totally ignorant of the Climates at\nthe Pole?\n\nAnd here I beg Leave to offer a Philosophical Reason, why it should not,\naccording to the Nature of Things, be any colder at the Poles themselves,\nthan ten Degrees on this Side of them. Not that I by any Means insist upon\nthe Truth of what I am going to say; I only just offer it as a Subject to\nbe discussed by those who are more learned, and are able to take more exact\nMensurations of the Phoenomena of Nature than myself.\n\nWhat I would offer is, that there is no Reason to apprehend more Cold at\nthe Extremities of the Poles than ten Degrees on this Side of them, on\nAccount of the Figure of the Earth. The Figure of the Earth is found, by\nObservations which have been made, upon the Difference of the Vibrations of\nPendulums at the \u00c6quator and near the Poles, and by other Experiments, to\nbe not a Sphere, but a Spheroid; it is not exactly round, neither is it\noval, but (if I may make Use of the Comparison) more in the Shape of a\nTurnip.\n\nNow the Climate is hotter at the \u00c6quator than in high Latitudes, on Account\nof the Inclination of the Poles to the Sun, as has been said before: What I\nwould urge is, that the Surface of the Earth, at ten Degrees on this Side\nof the Poles, is as much or nearly as much inclined to the Plain of the\nEcliptic as the Poles themselves.\n\nIf that is the Case, no Reason can be given why the Poles should be colder\nthan Greenland, where, if we may believe the Accounts of Navigators, though\nin the Winter the Cold is so intense as to freeze Brandy, yet, in the\nmiddle of Summer it is sometimes so hot, that People have been glad to\nstrip off their Cloaths, for an Hour or two in a Day, in order to go\nthrough their Work. But to return to the Surmise, that the Poles are no\ncolder than ten Degrees on this Side of them, on Account of the\nSpheroidical Figure of the Earth.\n\nI must trouble the Reader with a very plain Figure, in order to illustrate\nthe Meaning of this.\n\n[Illustration]\n\nBy this Figure we may observe, that any Rays of the Sun A, which fall upon\na Place situated ten Degrees on our Side of the Pole B, and Rays which fall\non the Pole itself, do not make so large an Angle, as they would if the\nForm of the Earth was a Sphere; for if we extend the two Points B and C so\nfar as to make a compleat Sphere, we must be obliged likewise to move the\nLine D along with it to the Point E, which would make a larger Angle, and\nin that Case the Surface of the Earth at the Pole B would be more inclined\nto the Plain of the Ecliptic than it is, and consequently it would be\ncolder, as the Cause of Heat and Cold in different Parts of the Globe is\nowing to the Inclination of the Poles to the Plain of the Ecliptic, and not\nto the Distance of the Sun from the Earth at the different Seasons of the\nYear; for if that was the Case, we should have colder Weather in July than\nwe have in December, the Sun being rather nearer to us in Winter than in\nSummer.\n\nI hope that this little Philosophical Effort, which has been made here,\nwill not be looked upon as unseasonably introduced in this Place; and I\nlikewise hope, that while I gaze with Wonder on the stupendous Frame of the\nUniverse, I shall not be thought presumptuous in having taken a little\nSurvey of one of the Wheels which duly performs it's Revolutions in that\nglorious Machine, the Solar System; the exact and regular Movements of\nwhich inspire the curious Beholder with a more awful Idea of the Greatness\nof the Fabricator, than it is possible for any one to conceive, who is\nentirely ignorant of the Accuracy of the Construction.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  VII.\n\n    _That the more Hay is dried in the Sun, the better it will be._\n\nAs Hay is an Herb which is dried in order to lay up all the Winter, when it\ncannot be found in the Fields, and as it is intended for the Food and\nNourishment of Animals, that Nourishment must consist of such of the Juices\nas are left behind in the Herb.\n\nIt is very possible, by the Art of Chemistry, to extract from Hay all the\nseparate Salts, Spirits, &c. of which it is composed. Now in a Chymical\nPreparation, there is always something left behind in the Still, out of\nwhich it is impossible to extract any more Juices; that the Chymists call\nCaput Mortuum. This Caput Mortuum is of no Service, and is entirely void of\nall those Salts and Spirits with which every other Substance on the Surface\nof the Earth abounds more or less.\n\nThe Sun acts upon Bodies much in the Nature of a Still. He, by his Heat,\ncauses the Vapours of all Kinds, which any Substance contains, to ascend\nout of their Residences into the Atmosphere, to some little Height, from\nwhence either the Wind carries them, if there is any, or if there is no\nWind, they fall down again Upon the Earth by their own Weight, at Sun-set,\nand are what is called Dew.\n\nSince this is the Case, and the Sun acts upon Bodies in the same Manner as\na Still, we should take Care not to make Caput Mortuum of our Hay, by\nexposing it too long to his Rays; for by that Means we shall extract from\nit most of those Salts Spirits of which Food must consist, and of which all\nAnimal Substance is composed.\n\nThe Botanists are sensible of this: When they dry their Herbs, they lay\nthem in a Place where no Sun can come to them, well knowing that too much\nSun would take off their Flavour, and render them unfit for their different\nPhysical Uses. Not that Hay would be made so well without Sun, on Account\nof the Largeness of the Quantity, and at the same Time it ought to be dryed\nenough, and no more than enough; for it is as easy to roast Hay too much as\na Piece of Meat.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  VIII.\n\n    _That the Violin is a wanton Instrument, and not proper for Psalms; and\n    that the Organ is not proper for Country-Dances, and brisk Airs._\n\nThis Error is entirely owing to Prejudice. The Violin being a light, small\nInstrument, easy of Conveyance, and withal much played upon in England, and\nat the same Time being powerful and capable of any Expression which the\nPerformer pleases to give it, is commonly made Use of at Balls and\nAssemblies; by which Means it has annexed the Idea of Merriment and Jollity\nto itself, in the Minds of those, who have been so happy as to be Caperers\nto those sprightly English Airs, called Country Dances.\n\nThe Organ, on the other Hand, being not easily moved on Account of it's\nSize, and expensive on Account of the complicated Machinery which is\nnecessary to the Construction of it, is not convenient for Country Dances;\nand at the same Time being loud, capable of playing full Pieces of Music,\nChoruses, Services, &c. is made Use of in most Churches where the\nInhabitants can afford to purchase this fine Instrument.\n\nNevertheless, notwithstanding these great Advantages, two or three Violins\nand a Bass, are more capable of performing any solemn Hymn or Anthem than\nan Organ; for the Violin, as has been before observed, is capable of great\nExpression, but especially it is most exquisitely happy in that grave and\nresigned Air, which the common Singing-Psalms ought to be played with. When\nthe Bow is properly made Use of, there is a Solemnity in the Strokes of it,\nwhich is peculiar to itself. And on the other Hand, on Account of the\nConvenience of Keys for the Readiness of Execution, nothing can be more\nadapted to the Performance of a Country-Dance, than an Organ. For the Truth\nof which Assertion I appeal to those who have been so often agreeably\nsurprized with those sprightly Allegros, in the Country-Dance Style, with\nwhich many Organists think fit to entertain the Ladies, in the middle of\nDivine Service.\n\nIf Jack Latten is played at all, it is Jack Latten still, whether it be\nplayed in Church or in an Assembly Room; and I am only surprized, that\nPeople can so obstinately persist in the Denial of a Thing, concerning the\nTruth of which it lies in their Power to be convinced every Sunday.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  IX.\n\n    _That the Organ and Harpsichord are the two Principal Instruments, and\n    that other Instruments are inferior to them in a Concert._\n\nNotwithstanding the great Advantage which these Instruments have of playing\nseveral Parts together, there is nevertheless one Imperfection which they\nhave, or rather they want one, or more properly a thousand Beauties\ncontained in one Word; which is no less material an Article than that of\nExpression.\n\nThere is no Word more frequently in the Mouths of all Sorts of Performers,\nthan this of Expression; and we may venture to affirm, that it is as little\nunderstood as any one Term which is made Use of, in the Science of Music.\n\nAbove three Parts in four make Use of it, without having any Meaning of\ntheir own, only having heard some one else observe, that such or such a\nPerson plays with great Expression, they take a Fancy to this new adopted\nChild, and become as fond of it, as if it was the legitimate Offspring of\ntheir own Brain. Some who are more considerate, think that the Meaning of\nit entirely consists in playing Staccato; and indeed these People come\nnearer the Mark than the others, but they have not picked up all the\nMeaning of the Word.\n\nOne who plays with Expression, is he who, in his Performance, gives the Air\nor Piece of Music (let it be what it will) such a Turn, as conveys that\nPassion into the Hearts of the Audience, which the Composer intended to\nexcite by it. Dryden, in that masterly Poem, his Ode in Honour of St.\nCecilia's Day, has given us a true Idea of the Meaning of the Word; the\nBeauties of which Poem, though they are enough to hurry any Man away from\nhis Subject, shall not be discussed at present, not being to the Point in\nHand. We shall only make Use of an Instance or two out of it, to illustrate\nwhat has been said.\n\nHandel was so sensible of it's being capable, by the Help of Musical\nSounds, of raising those very Passions in the Hearts of the Audience, which\nDryden fables Alexander to have felt by the masterly Hand of Timotheus,\nthat, by setting it to Music, he has himself boldly stepped into the Place\nof Timotheus.\n\nIn this Performance called Alexander's Feast, it may easily be discerned,\nthat Expression does not consist in the Staccato only, or in any one Power\nor Manner of playing. For Instance this Air,\n\n    _Softly sweet in Lydian Measures_, &c.\n\nwould be quite ruined by playing it Staccato; and again,\n\n    _Revenge, Revenge, Timotheus cries_, &c.\n\nrequires to be played in a very different Style from the foregoing Air.\n\nPassions are to be expressed in Music, as well as in the other Sister Arts,\nPoetry and Painting.\n\nHaving thus explained what is meant by Expression in Music, we will return\nto the Point, viz. that the Organ and Harpsichord, though they have many\nother Advantages, yet want that great Excellence of Music, Expression.\nSurely it may not be thought a Straining of the Meaning of St. Paul's Words\ntoo far, when I surmise, that he, who had a fine Education, and in all\nProbability knew Music well, might have an Eye to the Want of Meaning or\nExpression of the ancient Cymbal, when he says, \"Tho' I speak with the\nTongues of Men and of Angels, and have not Charity, I am become as a\nsounding Brass, and a tinkling Cymbal.\" That is, though I have ever so much\nSkill in Languages, and the Arts and Sciences, my Knowledge is vain if I am\nwithout the Virtue of Charity, and my Works will have no Force, and will in\nthat Respect resemble the Cymbal, which, though it makes a tinkling, and\nplays the Notes, yet is destitute of the main Article Expression. For we\nmust not suppose, that so refined a Scholar as St. Paul was, could have\nsuch a settled Contempt for the Science of Music, as to make Use of it even\nas a Simile for what is trifling. We may venture to think, that the Apostle\nalluded to that Want of Power in the Cymbal to move the Passions, which\nother Instruments have.\n\nThis is the very Case with the modern Harpsichord; it is very pretty,\nnotwithstanding it's Imperfections, with Regard to the Change of Keys, (of\nwhich more in it's Place.) But no one can say, that it speaks to his\nPassions like those Instruments which have so immediate a Connection with\nthe Finger of the Performer, as to sound just in the Manner which he\ndirects.\n\nIn that Case the Powers are great; you have the Numbers of Graces which\nhave Names to them, and the still greater Number which have none; you have\nthe Staccato and the Slur, the Swell and the Smotzato, and the Sostenuto,\nand a great Variety of other Embellishments, which are as necessary as\nLight and Shade in Painting.\n\nTo convince the Reader of this, let him hear any Master play Handel's Song,\n_Pious Orgies, pious Airs_, upon the Organ or Harpsichord, and he will\nfind, that, though it will appear to be Harmony, yet it will want that\nMeaning, and (not to make Use of the Word too often) Expression, which it\nis intended to have given it by the Word Sostenuto, which Mr. Handel has\nplaced at the Beginning of the Symphony.\n\nNow a fine Performer upon the Violin or Hautboy, with a Bass to accompany\nhim, will give it that Sostenuto, even with greater Strength than the human\nVoice itself, if possible.\n\nI by no Means intend to debase that noble and solemn Instrument the Organ,\nnor the Wonders that are done upon it, nor the great Merit of the\nPerformers who execute them, by what has been here said; only to discuss a\nlittle upon the Perfections and Imperfections of different Instruments, as\nthe more the Imperfections of an Instrument are looked into, the more\nlikely is the Ingenuity of Mechanics one Day or other to rectify them.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  X.\n\n    _That every different Key in Music ought to have a different Effect or\n    Sound._\n\nThis is an Error which belongs chiefly to those who play a little upon the\nHarpsichord; it arises from the Imperfection of their Instrument. As a\ngreater Number of Keys would be inconvenient to the Performer, they are\nobliged to make one Note serve for another, such as B flat for A sharp, and\nmany others, which necessarily renders some of the Keys imperfect. But we\nare not to take Notice of the Imperfection of any one Instrument, and\nregulate our Ear by that alone; we are to consider what is the real Scheme\nof Music, and what was the Intent of having different Keys introduced into\nHarmony.\n\nIt was intended for the Sake of Variety. When the Ear begins to be\nsurfeited with too much of the _Cantilenam eandem Canis_, as Terence\nexpresses it, then Contrivances are made, without infringing upon the Laws\nof Harmony, to have the Burthen of the Song upon a different Note; not that\nthis Key is to differ from the former in it's Mensurations from one Note to\nanother, unless it changes from a flat third Key to a sharp third, or vice\nversa. For notwithstanding all the different Sounds which an imperfect\nInstrument will give, in different Keys, there are in Reality but two Keys,\nviz. a flat third Key, and a sharp third Key; and however the different\nKeys upon any particular Instrument may sound, we will venture to affirm,\nthat any Piece of Music, let it be set in what Key it will, either is not\ntrue Composition, or is performed badly, if it does not sound smooth and\nharmonious.\n\nFor though we do agree, that Variety is grateful in this Case as well as in\nothers, yet that Variety ought to be introduced with as little\nInconvenience as possible. When we shift our Scenes, we should order the\nCarpenters to make as little Noise in the Execution of it as they can help,\nand take Care that the Pullies are all well oiled. For shall any Man\nentertain me, by making a most hideous jarring Discord before he begins\nwhat he intends to be Harmony? It is as absurd as for a Lady to take you\nhalf a dozen Boxes on the Ear, before she permits you to salute her, and\nthen to tell you she only did it, that you might have a more lively\nApprehension of the exquisite Happiness which her unparallelled Charms\nshould very soon make you sensible of.\n\nWe may apprehend the Difference of perfect and imperfect Instruments, by\nlistening to a Harpsichord, when any Music, where the Key changes often, is\nplayed, and to a fine Band, such as the Playhouse or the Opera. We shall\nfind, in the latter, that the Composer has taken Care to make every\nTransition quite smooth and harmonious; and that tho' the Music be ever so\ncromatic, yet it never departs from it's melodious Effect. Whereas in an\nOrgan or Harpsichord, even the greatest Performers cannot avoid a\ndisagreeable Roughness in complicated Harmony. Nevertheless, as has been\nbefore observed, we must acknowledge the Organ to have Powers which other\nInstruments have not.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XI.\n\n    _That a Piece of Music which has Flats set before it, is in a Flat Key\n    on that Account, and vice versa with Sharps._\n\nThis is so well known to be an Error, by all those who have arrived at any\nProficiency in Music, that very little need be said about it; however, it\nis a very common Error.\n\nA Key is not constituted flat or sharp, by having Flats or Sharps at the\nBeginning of the Piece of Music; but it depends upon the third Note upwards\nfrom that Note in which the Music is composed. For Instance, if the Piece\nis composed in D, and we find that F is natural, or only half a Note from\nE, then it is in a flat, or flat third, Key; if F is sharp, or a whole Note\nabove E, then the Piece of Music is composed in a sharp third Key. But as\nthere are so many Books extant about Thorough Bass, which give a full\nAccount of this, it will be needless to say any more about it, only to\nmention it as an Error, among other Errors. The Reader shall not be tired\nany more with Music at present, but for Variety we will shift the Scene a\nlittle while.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XII.\n\n    _That apparitions or Spectres do exist; or that the Ghosts of Men do\n    appear at, before, or after their Deaths._\n\nWe would not be thought, in the following Discourse, to call in Question\nthat great Miracle of our Saviour's rising again the third Day, and\nappearing to the Twelve: What shall be here said, will rather prove the\nMiracle to be the greater, and therefore more worthy the interfering Hand\nof Omnipotence.\n\nBut we must not suppose that the Supreme Being will condescend to pervert\nthe Order of Nature for Individuals. The ancient Heathens had a true Notion\nof the Greatness of him, _qui Templa Coeli summa sonitu concutit_. Ter.\nEun. And Horace observes,\n\n  _Nec Deus intersit, nisi dignus vindice nodus._\n                                Art. Poet.\n\nSince it must be no less than a Miracle which causes an Apparition, I shall\nproceed, without any Scruple, to prove that there is no such Thing in\nNature really existing.\n\nOf all the Errors with which the Brains of Mankind have been troubled,\nthere is none of such ancient Standing as this. We have Ghosts and\nHobgoblins even in Homer; not that there is Reason to suspect that Homer\never believed in them himself; he seemed too well versed in the real\nPhoenomena of Nature, to entertain any such chimerical Dreams as Truth; for\nDreams they are, and no better: the true _Somnia Vatum_ of the Ancients,\nhanded down to Posterity, even to these enlightened Times. How many\nhorrible Nights have been passed in cold Sweats, by otherwise very sensible\nPeople, owing to nothing else but the Apprehensions which they have had of\nthese no-existing Gentry! How was even the Metropolis itself terrified the\nother Day, by the Scratching Ghost at Cock Lane! I think enough has been\nsaid, even in this little Book, to prove that no Noise can be made, unless\nby the Vibration of some elastic Body. If a Noise is made by a Voice, it\nmust be from an Animal, which has Lungs and Breath to do it; if a\nScratching is made, it must be done by something which has Hands, and\nSinews to move those Hands; and it must have Nails, or some other bodily\nSubstance, to scratch with, before it can cause a Sound to proceed from an\nelastic Body. So much for Scratching, and dismal Yellings, and Groanings of\nall Sorts, which have been fabled of Ghosts.\n\nIt will require a little Dissertation upon Optics, in order to explain the\nCause of Light and Colours, before we can confute the Possibility of seeing\nan Apparition.\n\nLight is found to be a real Substance; it is swift beyond Comprehension; if\nI mistake not, it is calculated by Sir Isaac Newton, to be only eight\nMinutes in passing from the Sun to the Earth; it is very subtle, passing\nthrough the hardest transparent Bodies; it is capable of Refraction and\nReflection, that is, either of passing through a transparent Body, as a\nWindow, or of being reflected from an even Surface, as a Looking-Glass, or\na Piece of polished Steel; so that if we see any Object at my Time, the\nCause of our seeing it, if there is no Window between, is by Reflection, or\nby the Rays of Light being reflected from the Object to the Eye of the\nBeholder, which is formed for the Reception of the Rays which come from the\nObject, in the same Manner as a Camera obscura.\n\nWhen the Rays have found a Passage into the Pupil of the Eye, they fall\nupon a thin Membrane which is called the Retina, upon which Retina the\nexact Picture of the Object is represented, as may be seen by the Eye of an\nOx, properly prepared and placed in the Hole of a Window-Shutter. This\nRetina is an Elongation from the Brain; and by this Means it is, that we\nreceive those various agreeable or disagreeable Sensations with which we\nfind ourselves affected, by the Sight of external Objects. So that we may\nobserve, that it must be not only real Substance which must reflect Rays to\nthe Eye, in order to cause Vision, but the Rays themselves, likewise, which\ncome from that Object, are Substance.\n\nIf this is the Case, the Apparition of a Person must be a Substance, which\nis reflected from a Substance, which belongs to the Body of him who is\ndead, or is going to die. With regard to him who is dead and buried, one\nwould think, that he and his Substance are so safe under Ground, that no\nPart of him can reflect any Rays; but a Person who is above Ground, either\ndead or dying, may reflect Rays to the Eye of a Beholder, and if it happens\nto be a Friend or Relation, such Rays will make so strong an Impression\nupon the Retina, that they shall in such a Manner imprint themselves upon\nthat pliable Spot, as will cause the Brain and Nerves of the Beholder to\nhave the Sensation of seeing the dead or dying Person some Time after the\nreal Action of seeing him.\n\nThis will account for most of those positive Assertions, which we may hear\nin any Village, of the seeing the Apparitions of People after they are\ndead, or just before they die, 'tis all one. We very seldom hear of any\nsuch Thing in Town, which corresponds with what has been said; for in Town\nit is so common to have Deaths and Funerals, &c. that People are no more\naffected with the Sight of a dead Man than a living one. But the Case is\nquite different in Villages. A Village with fifty Houses in it, situated in\na wholesome Country, shall not have above one Person die in a Year; this\nmakes such a Stir, that all the old Women in the Town must have a Peep at\nthe deceased, as he lies in his Coffin, with his Shroud on; which\nAlteration of Appearance in the dead Person, from what they remember him, a\nlittle while since, leaves such an Impression upon the Retinas of these old\nWomen, that 'tis ten to one but some of them think they see him, as soon as\nthe dark Hour comes on. And, very likely, a Person who thinks he sees an\nApparition may not be altogether wrong; there may be some of the Picture of\nthe dead Person still faintly remaining upon his Retina; and if so, it\ncertainly will give the same Sensation as if he faintly saw the Person. If\nthis is the Case, it is not the deceased come back again to bully us, as is\ngenerally imagined, if we do apprehend we see him; but the Remembrance of\nhim strong in that Organ the Eye, by which we formed the Idea of him in our\nMinds, when we really did behold him.\n\nHomer seems to allude to this, when he makes Patroclus's Ghost appear to\nAchilles. When Patroclus was slain by Hector before Troy, the Body, after a\nlong Dispute for it, between the Greeks and Trojans, was brought to\nAchilles's Tent, where Achilles is described by the Poet, as making bitter\nLamentations over the Body of his deceased Friend. At Night he lays himself\ndown upon the Sea Shore, and falls asleep, when the Ghost of Patroclus\ncomes to demand the funeral Obsequies.\n\n  [Greek: \u00calthe d' epi psuch\u00ea Patrokl\u00eaos deiloio,]\n  [Greek: Pant' aut\u00f4i megethos te kai ommata kal' eikuia,]\n  [Greek: Kai ph\u00f4n\u00ean; kai toia peri chroi heimata hesto;]\n                                Hom. Iliad. Lib. 23.\n\nHomer never introduces an Incredulus Odi into his Works; he has an Eye upon\nProbability in all his Fictions. It seems probable, that Achilles, after he\nhad been hanging over the Body of Patroclus, either quite asleep, or\nbetween sleeping and waking, should imagine that he saw his Friend's\nApparition. And though Homer might not have heard of such a Thing as the\nRetina in the Eye, (though it is not at all impossible he should, for he\nshews himself a great Anatomist) yet he very well knew the Impression which\nthe Sight of a departed Friend is sure to make upon the Mind of the\nBeholder. By this Propriety of Introduction, he keeps up the Appearance of\nProbability, so necessary even in Poetry itself, which is generally\nFiction.\n\nBy this it should seem, that Homer was tacitly of Opinion, that there is\nreally no such Thing in Nature as an Apparition, and that it has no other\nExistence than in the Imaginations of Men. And we have the more Reason to\nbelieve that this was his Opinion, as we find that he did not choose to\nintroduce the Ghost of Patroclus to Achilles, when he was broad awake; but,\nas he thought it might seem to want the Air of Probability, if he made\nPatroclus appear to Achilles when awake, he takes Care to compose Achilles\ninto a Nap first, and by that means leaves the Reader to his own Opinion,\nwhether the Ghost did really come, or whether Achilles only thought so.\nThis is one of those Touches of Art with which Homer abounds.\n\nBut there is another Reason why we have so many of these Stories told us of\nApparitions by our Grandmothers; and that is, the Tricks which the Priests\nof the Roman Catholic Times found it necessary to put upon their Flock, in\norder to keep up their Credit.\n\nChymistry was the Study of those Times, and Lectures were given in them at\nthe Universities, as frequently as they are in Philosophy at present. It is\nfor this Reason, I apprehend, that Shakespeare introduces Friar Lawrence, a\nStudent in a Convent or Roman Catholic College, with several Kinds of Herbs\nin a Basket, the particular Virtues of which he seems perfectly to\nunderstand, and which he is going to extract from them, for physical Uses:\nHad Shakespeare lived in these Times, most likely he would have introduced\nhim with a Quadrant, a Globe, or a Prism, or some other Philosophical\nInstrument. Now those who have not seen some little of Chymistry, have no\nNotion of the Wonders that are to be done by it; and these crafty Priests\nknew so well how to make Use of their Art to the best Advantage, that they\ncould frighten a whole Village, whenever they had an Inclination to play\ntheir Pranks. Friar Bacon, who was perhaps the greatest Chymist in Europe,\nused to play so many Tricks, that he was thought by the whole Country, to\ndeal with the Devil; and many Stories of him are now extant, to that\nEffect. One of the most common Pranks amongst these Gentry was this: They\nused to get one who could draw well, to take some Phosphorus (which is a\nChymical Preparation from Urine) in his Pocket; having thus armed\nthemselves, they perhaps would step into the first Alehouse where they saw\na Light, and mix with the Company. He who was in Possession of the\nPhosphorus would get up and go to the Wall, under some Pretence or other,\nupon which he would draw what Picture came first into his Head, very likely\nthe Picture of the Devil. Nothing is to be seen by Candle-Light, and it\nmust be dark, before the Marks made by Phosphorus upon a Wall will appear\nlike Fire. After sitting a little while, one of them would either introduce\nsome Discourse about the Wickedness of the Times, or would tell some Story\nabout Apparitions; in the middle of which another would run against the\nCandle, as if by Accident, and put it out. As soon as the Candle is out,\nanother of them pretends to have found out this Figure upon the Wall, which\nwill appear like Fire. You may guess the Surprize of the poor Country\nPeople, at seeing the Old Gentleman upon the Wall.--They all take to their\nHeels. In the mean Time, to improve their Ideas, another of the\nConfederates sets Fire to Brimstone, or some other stinking Combustible,\nand pops it against all their Noses, as they run out of Doors; and after\nthese two powerful Sensations of seeing and smelling, it would be quite\nimpossible, by any Arguments, to persuade any of the Company, that they had\nnot actually seen the Prince of Darkness. By these and such like Arts, the\nRoman Catholic Priests so long kept this now well-delivered Country under\ntheir Subjection.\n\nThough this Account appears ridiculous enough, the Effect which such Sort\nof Pranks have upon the weak Minds of Women and Children, are very serious;\nand the Ideas which are received at this Time of Life, make such an\nImpression upon some People, that they are unable to get the better of\ntheir Apprehensions, even when they grow up.\n\nI know a Person of the first Sense, and a great Scholar, who retains these\nStories so strong in his Memory, that he dare as well put his Fingers into\nthe Old Lion's Mouth at the Tower, as go up to a Monument, which stands in\na certain Chapel in this University, after it is dark; not that he really\nbelieves any Thing would hurt him there; nevertheless he declares he cannot\nget the better of it. And I make no Doubt, that not only this Gentleman,\nbut Thousands more of his Majesty's good and bold Subjects, are in the same\nWay.\n\nI look upon our Sailors, to care as little what becomes of themselves, as\nany Set of People under the Sun; and yet no People are so much terrified at\nthe Thoughts of an Apparition. Their Sea Songs are full of them; they\nfirmly believe their Existence; and honest Jack Tar shall be more\nfrightened at a glimmering of the Moon upon the Tackling of the Ship, than\nhe would be if a Frenchman was to clap a Blunderbuss to his Head.\n\nI was told a Story by an Officer in the Navy, which may not be foreign to\nthe Purpose.\n\nAbout half a Dozen of the Sailors on board a Man of War, took it into their\nHeads, that there was a Ghost in the Ship; and being asked by the Captain,\nwhat Reason they had to apprehend any such Thing, they told him, that they\nwere sure there was a Ghost, for they smelt him. The Captain at first\nlaughed at them, and called them a Parcel of Lubbers, and advised them not\nto entertain any such silly Notions as these, but mind their Work. It\npassed on very well for a Day or two; but one Night, being in another\nGhost-smelling Humour, they all came to the Captain, and told him, that\nthey were quite certain, there was a Ghost, and he was somewhere behind the\nSmall-beer Barrels: The Captain, quite enraged at their Folly, was\ndetermined, they should have something to be frightened at in earnest; and\nso ordered the Boatswain's Mate to give them all a Dozen of Lashes, with a\nCat 'o nine Tails; by which means, the Ship was entirely cleared of Ghosts,\nduring the remainder of the Voyage. However, when the Barrels were removed,\nsome Time after, they found a dead Rat, or some such Thing, which was\nconcluded, by the rest of the Crew, to be the Ghost, which had been smelt a\nlittle before. Thus we see, that the bravest Men of the Universe, may be\nterrified, if they give way to their own chimerical Ideas; and that it is\nonly for want of searching into the Causes of the Phoenomena of Nature,\nthat People disturb themselves in this Manner, with such groundless and\nunphilosophical Apprehensions. However, a great deal may be said in Favour\nof Men, troubled with the Scurvy, the Concomitants of which Disorder, are\ngenerally Faintings and the Hip, and Horrors without any Ground for them;\nwhich leads me to say something upon an Error, relative to that Sea\nDisorder, the Scurvy.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XIII.\n\n    _That Bleeding is proper for a Patient, who is apt to be sick in a\n    Morning._\n\nThe first Person I heard remark this Error, was an old Physician, who,\nthough he had but little Practice, on Account of his travelling\nDisposition, was nevertheless a Man of great Speculation. He had been three\nTimes over the Alps on Foot; and was in many Respects, a curious Man.\n\nThe Company did not seem to take much Notice of his Remark, because he\ncertainly was an Oddity; however, if we may believe the Accounts of those\nPhysicians who have lately wrote upon the Scurvy, the Old Gentleman was in\nthe right.\n\nIt seems, that among all the dreadful Symtoms, which accompany the Scurvy,\na fainting Sickness in a Morning, is the most certain Indication of it.\nMany, upon Application for Relief, in that Case, have been treated as\nConsumptive; when, upon a more strict Enquiry, they have been found to have\na violent Scurvy, and have been restored to Health by Mineral Waters. If\nthat is the Case, and fainting Sickness in a Morning, is a Sympton of the\nScurvy, Bleeding cannot be proper, as nothing is more likely to encrease\nthe Fainting, than Phlebotomy.\n\nI met with an Author somewhere, who reasoned upon the Subject, in this\nManner. He alledged, that the Cause of Fainting in the Scurvy, was owing to\nsuch a Relaxation in the Blood Vessels, that they had not Power to perform\ntheir Operations; and by that Means, were unable to give their Contents,\nthat quick, spirited Motion, which is required, to keep them in the upper\nParts of the Body; and that, by the Blood being suffered to fall down to\nthe lower Parts of the Body, the Head, Heart, and other Vital Parts, were\nleft destitute of that Fluid, which is so necessary for the Preservation of\nLife. This he proves, by the sudden Change which is caused in Patients,\nafflicted with the Scurvy, on altering their Position. If, says he, you\ncause a Patient to be raised up in his Hammock, though before he was in\nvery good Spirits (a Thing peculiar to the Sea Scurvy, even in the last\nStages of it, at Times) he will faint immediately; if you lay him in an\ninclined Posture, he will recover again. And he gives this Reason for it,\nviz. that the Blood settles downwards, in the same Manner, as Humours do in\na Dropsy, when the Patient is erect; and that it returns again, when he is\nsupine; and by that Means, it re-invigorates those Parts, which were\ndistressed by its Absence. If this is the Case, and the learned Doctor's\nPosition is true, to take away that little Blood, which is left behind, in\nthe upper Parts of the Body, on a Scorbutic Patient's getting into an erect\nPosture, or rising in a Morning, is to deprive him of all the Nourishment\nwhich his Vital Parts contain for their Preservation, and seems to be a\nready way to dispatch him.\n\nIt would be prudent therefore, in an Apothecary, before he lets his Patient\nblood, when he is taken sick in a Morning, to examine him well all over, in\norder to find out those Eruptions, which denote a Scorbutic Habit of Body.\nFor if he is ignorant of the Patient's Disorder, and lets him blood, though\nhe may survive this Operation, he will most likely have such a Fainting, as\nto amount to a Fit next Morning; upon which, in his Fright and Hurry, he\nwill let him blood again, thinking it an Apoplexy.\n\nI hope the Physical Gentlemen, will not take it amiss that I interfere thus\nwith their Profession; only, as I have known some Accidents happen in this\nCase, by not regular-bred Practioners, I hope they will pardon the Liberty,\nwhich is here taken.\n\nIf any Person should here object, that I have confounded the Land Scurvy\nwith the Sea Scurvy, without making any Distinction between the two\nDisorders; I answer, that though they may be different in some Respects,\nyet they are very near related; and moreover, that with Respect to the\nFaintings in a Morning, they are the same, and the Faintings proceed from\nthe same Cause in both. Their Causes may be different, and yet their\nEffects be very similar; or, 'till all the Causes of the Sea Scurvy are\nclearly found out, it is not possible to say, that they do not both proceed\nfrom the same Cause. For I suppose it will be allowed, that the Land Scurvy\ngenerally proceeds from too high Living, from salt Diet, from too much\nanimal Food, from too little Exercise, &c. Now let us examine into the Sea\nScurvy. They are subject to these Inconveniences in a greater Degree at Sea\nthan they are at Land: In the first Place, in long Voyages they have\nnothing but salt Provisions; then they have no Greens; all animal Diet,\nexcept a little dried Biscuit; and then though it must be allowed, that in\na Gale of Wind they have Trouble enough to work the Ship, and by that Means\nreceive proper Exercise, yet at other Times, when they have fallen in with\nthe Trade Winds, they sometimes have no Employ for Months together; and (by\nthe bye) any one, who takes Notice of Voyages, will find that it is at\nthose Times, when the Scurvy does the most Mischief. It is then that the\nShip becomes almost a Prison. For when they go up aloft, the Air, by it's\nFriction, braces their Nerves, clears away the bad Vapours, creates an\nAppetite, and strengthens their Joints; but when a Ship is going before a\nfine Gale of Wind, so steady as the Trade Winds are, the Men have no\nEmploy, and having no Occasion to go aloft, either loll upon Deck in the\nDay-Time, or sleep in their Hammocks at Night.\n\nWe do not insist here, that there is no Difference between the Land and Sea\nScurvy, or that there are no other Reasons for the Sea Scurvy than are here\nmentioned. We know that some other Causes are assigned, as the being so\nlong absent from Land, and thereby receiving none of those Vapours, which,\ncoming out of the Earth, may be necessary for the Preservation of a Land\nAnimal, &c. and these Causes likewise may correspond with the former, here\nmentioned.\n\nWe shall now beg Leave to offer a little Scheme, for hindering the Progress\nof the Sea Scurvy, which however we do not insist upon, having no great\nOpinion of any Proposition, which we start new of our own.\n\nWhat I would propose is, some Help or Relief to a Ship, when she is on a\nlong Voyage, and sailing before a Trade Wind, and finds the Scurvy begin to\nattack her. In order to which, it will be necessary to say something\nconcerning the Nature of that Element called the Air.\n\nAir is an elastic Fluid, as has been observed before, and is subject to an\neasy Motion of it's Parts amongst themselves, as all Fluids are. It is\nsubject to Currents and Eddies, in the same Manner as Water. A Current of\nAir is commonly known by the Name of Wind; and the greater Quantity of this\nAir or Wind, an Animal who has Organs for the Reception of it, and who\ncannot live without it a Moment; the more free Passage (I say) a Current of\nAir has, by such an Animal, in Health and Motion, the more wholesome it is\nfor him. Now, I will endeavour to prove, that a Ship under Sail, before a\nTrade Wind, has but little Change of Situation in this Current,\nnotwithstanding her Motion is so swift, with regard to her Change of Place\nupon the Surface of the Earth.\n\nWe will endeavour to explain our Meaning, by a Cork swimming down a current\nof Water.\n\nIf any one throws a Cork into a Stream of Water, he will find that the Cork\nwill be attended, during its Progress down the Stream, by the same\nParticles of the Fluid, which it happened to fall upon, when it first set\noff; notwithstanding, it changes its Position, with regard to the Surface\nof the Earth. This is the Case with a Ship, sailing before the Wind; she\nreceives nothing near the Quantity of Air, upon her Sides and between her\nDecks, in a full Wind, that she does when the Wind is upon her Beam, or on\none Side of her; which may be demonstrated by a second Experiment upon the\nCork in the Water.\n\nIf any one takes a Cork and ties a long Thread to it, and throws it into a\nStream, he will find, that the Cork, when he draws it sideways along the\nStream, changes its Place in the Water every Inch he draws it. This is so\nplain, that there is no Occasion to say any more about it; and we humbly\napprehend, that the Case would be the same, with regard to a Ship which is\nsailing before the Wind, or going down a Current of Air. We do alledge,\nthat the fresh Air running between the Decks of a Ship, would sweeten and\nclear away the bad Vapours and Filth from the Men in her, as much more in\nthe Position of a Side-Wind, as a Stream of Water would wash more Dirt off\na Cork, if it was drawn sideways along it by a Thread, than if it was\nsuffered to swim down by itself. For the Motion of a good Ship, when she\nhas all her Sails up in a moderate Gale before the Wind, is very near, if\nnot quite as swift as the Wind itself.\n\nTherefore, what I would advance here is, that as the Sea Scurvy in long\nVoyages proceeds as much from the Confinement of a Ship, as from any other\nCause, may it not be deemed reasonable, that any Scheme, which serves to\nmake a more free Current of Air through a Ship, may be a great Hindrance to\nthe Progress of the Scurvy?\n\nThe Scheme is only this plain and easy one, viz. that when a Ship is upon a\nlong Voyage, before a Trade Wind, the Captain once a Day should give\nOrders, to lay her upon a Side-Wind, or a Quarters Wind, if he thinks it\nmore safe, for about a League or two, during which Tack, he may open the\nPort-holes of her Windward Side; and after going a League or two in that\nManner, she might be tacked about and laid upon her other Side; and by\ndoing this, he would sweeten every Corner of the Ship, and at the same Time\nexercise his Men. Now, though this Practice would retard him a little in\nhis Voyage, would it not be better to lose a little Time, and bring a\nShip's Crew Home in tolerable good Plight, than to have half of them dead,\nbefore they get to the End of their Voyage? I am far from insisting, that\nthis Scheme would answer the End; all that I know is, that if I was Captain\nof a Ship, I would try; and if it answered no End, it would but be leaving\nit off afterwards. And I hope the Sea Gentlemen will not be angry at this\nlittle Essay, as it is wrote for the Sake of their Health and\nConstitutions.\n\nThey know very well, that Wind travels much slower than is imagined by the\nGenerality of Landmen; which brings me to another Error, (viz.)\n\n                  XIV.\n\n    _That nothing which moves upon the Surface of the Earth, is so swift as\n    the Wind._\n\nThough, in a Storm, Wind moves with a great Velocity, yet in a moderate\nGale, it is nothing near so swift as is generally apprehended.\n\nThe Ancients were so wrapped up in their Opinion of the Swiftness of Wind,\nthat they were sure to introduce it as a Simile, when they intended to\ndescribe any Thing that was rapid in it's Motion.\n\nHorace, for one, was so fond of it, that he has introduced it into his\nelegant Ode, _Otium Divos_, &c.\n\n  _Scandit \u00e6ratas vitiosa Naves,_\n  _Cura; nec Turmas Equitum relinquit_\n  _Ocyor Cervis et agente Nymbos_\n                  _Ocyor Euro._\n\nHowever, one would think, that if he was determined to compare Wind to an\nIdea or Sensation in the human Mind, he might have thought of one more\nswift in it's Motions. For though the East Wind is a heavy Wind, and lays\nvery keen Hold of a Sail, as being cold, and therefore more condensed, and\nmoving with greater Moment, on Account of it's Weight; yet I am very much\nmistaken if we have any East Winds, that travel near so fast as the\nSouth-West Winds which we have in March; nay, so far is it from being\nswift, that when it is set in, we may feel it blow against our Bodies, with\na more steady, slow Motion than any other; and it is reasonable to suppose,\nthat it ought to move slower according to the Rules of Philosophy: For the\nBarometer shews, that the colder the Air is, the more it weighs; and a\nheavy Body takes more Time in changing it's Place, by a Force or Cause,\nthan a light one.\n\nHowever, we will not tax Horace with Impropriety, in so fine an Ode; as we\ndo not know, what the East Winds may be in Italy. They had not the German\nOcean to pass over, before they came to Horace, and may be warm, light, and\nsoft, in that Country.\n\nBut to return: There are many Things upon the Surface of the Earth,\n(without being obliged to have Recourse to the extraordinary Velocity of\nLight) which move faster than the Wind. We have no Occasion to go any\nfurther than the Flight of a Pigeon, or a Swallow, even for a Storm; which\nwe may observe, by the Motion of light Bodies, such as Feathers and Straws,\nwhich have no Power to resist it's Force, and must be hurried away with the\nsame Velocity as the Wind itself. We may easily try the Experiment, by\nthrowing Feathers from off a Church Steeple, or any high Place; and we\nshall find, that though they will be hurried off at a great Rate, yet not\nso swift as a Pigeon upon her full Stretch. Those who are at Sea have a\nmuch better Opportunity of observing it's Motions than Landmen: Nothing is\nmore common, than to see that the Wind has chopped about, by it's Action\nupon the Sails of a Ship at great Distance off; and it is a long Time\nbefore it reaches the Sails of the Ship from whence it is first discovered;\nand even when a Storm is seen coming at a Distance, they have Time enough\nto reeve the Sails, and lie in a Posture to receive it. It would be very\neasy at Land, to take an exact Measure of the Velocity of any Wind, by\nwatching it when it first comes. It might be done in this Manner, viz. by\ntaking the exact Distance of all the Churches in the Neighbourhood from\neach other, and setting Flags upon the Steeples of those which stand easy\nto be seen, and which are in different Directions; after which, a Person\nmight go up to the Top of one which stood in the middle of them, with a\nTelescope, and as soon as he saw the Flags upon any of the Steeples at a\nDistance move from the Directions which they stood in when he first\nascended the Steeple, he might be certain of a fresh Gale being come, and\nthat it had just then reached that Steeple. Upon seeing this, all that he\nwould have to do would be, to look at his Watch and by that Means he would\nknow how fast the Gale of Wind had travelled, by observing how many Miles\nit had gone in such a Time. For by observing the Flag on the Steeple at a\nDistance, he might know when it had reached that Place, and by the Flag\nupon the Steeple where the Observer himself stood, he might see when it\nreached him, and by his Watch he might know how long it had been coming.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XV.\n\n    _That there is now, or ever was, such a Science as Astrology._\n\nReader, when thou dost peruse this Book, I would have thee sensible of the\nintrinsic Value of Truth; one single Page of this inestimable Commodity, is\nworth a Thousand Volumes of Lies. I do not intend to impose upon thee, and\nlead thee astray, and laugh at thee afterwards; even as the Egyptian\nPriests of old did deceive their Flock, and at the same Time did laugh at\nthem, for worshiping the monstrous Idols, which were the Compositions of\ntheir own Craft. Thou wouldest hardly believe that these Idolaters were so\ngrossly imposed upon, as to be induced to worship Garlick and Onions; and\nyet, we have Accounts, that if the Priests of those Times did fix their\nEyes upon a good Crop of those Vegetables, they could very easily rank them\namongst the Number of their Gods; and, by that Means, render them unlawful\nto be handled by any one, except themselves. What might be their Intent, in\nsuch a Case, we will not presume to determine, but leave it to thy own\nsuperior Judgment.\n\nIndeed, thou mayest think thyself happy, in being a Native of a Country,\nwhere the exact Boundary is fixed to every one's Property; and where,\nthough when thou dost endeavour to defend thy Right, thou wilt find some\nwho are ready to go Halves with thee, yet, thou mayest in Time hinder thy\nAdversary from enjoying what is thy Due.\n\nAnd moreover, thou mayest think thyself very comfortable, that thou dost\nbreathe in so free an Air, where thou hast the refreshing Liberty of\nhearkening to Reason, and of thinking as thou dost like best; for if thou\ndidst live in some Countries, thou wouldest find, that thou must either\nthink as others please to dictate to thee, or else keep thy Thoughts to\nthyself; otherwise, it had been better for thee, if thou hadst never been\nable to come at the Knowledge of Truth, and had been as ignorant as those\nIdolatrous Egyptians before mentioned; who, while their Priests were\nstudying the real Science of Astronomy, kept the Laity in the dark, and\namused them with the false Science of Astrology; making them believe that\nthey could foretell all Things which should happen to them and their\nFamilies, by their Knowledge of the Stars; and persuading them, that the\nStars had an Influence upon the Lives and Fortunes of Individuals;\nintroducing the Jargon of being born under particular Planets, and the\nlike. To all which their Impositions they gained the greater Credit, by\nbeing able to calculate, and therefore to foretell the Eclipses of the Sun\nand Moon; which Phenomena of Nature they used to explain so as to answer\ntheir own sinister Views; construing the common Motions and Appearances of\nthe Heavenly Bodies, into Prodigies and Wonders; fortelling the Deaths of\nthose they hated, and taking the Opportunity of that Time of Consternation,\nto dispatch them, in order to make their Words prove true. I tell thee,\nReader, thou art happy in being a Native of a Country where thou art not\ndeceived by the false Science of Astrology; and where any one who\nunderstands it, whether Priest or Layman, will shew thee as much of the\nreal Science of Astronomy, as thou desirest to learn, for a Bottle or two\nof Wine, with all his Heart; well knowing, that it will be a Means to give\nthee a more sublime Notion of the Supreme Being: For the more thou dost\ncontemplate the vast Machinery of the Heavenly Bodies, and the exact Time\nwhich they keep in their Revolutions, the more thou wilt be convinced of\nthe immense Contrivance of Him who laid the Foundation of the Heavens.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XVI.\n\n    _Most Londoners are mistaken when they think that they have Wit enough\n    to impose upon Countrymen._\n\nThis Error chiefly proceeds from the outward Appearance of Countrymen, when\nthey arrive at the Metropolis. They are struck with the Grandeur of the\nPlace, and on that Account keep their Heads up in the Air, as if they were\ncontemplating some Phoenomenon in the Heavens. Then their Cloaths, being\ncalculated for Strength and Wear, are spun thick, which gives them a stiff,\nawkward Gait, and this is not a little augmented by the robust Labour which\nthey daily undergo, and the great Burthens, of different Sorts, which they\nare continually obliged to bear, through the Course of their Farming\nBusiness. This Aukwardness, joined to an Absence, which the Contemplation\nof any Thing fine is sure to beget, makes high Diversion for the Londoners,\nand they are apt to put many Tricks upon them, as Clowns, which the\nCountrymen (being Strangers to the Place) easily fall into; upon which\nAccount, those Urban Mobility, are apt to tax them with Want of Quickness\nof Apprehension.\n\nBut, O _Cives!_ let us first examine into the real State of the Case, and\nmake a little Allowance for Robin's Parallax, before we are too hard upon\nhis Abilities. I tell thee, your right Clown is the sharpest Fellow in the\nWorld; and if thou hadst any Dealings with him in his own Way, thou\nwouldest soon find him so, to thy Cost. If he came from _Yerkshire_, thou\nwouldest have no Chance with him, And we humbly conceive, that it is upon\nthis Account that Countrymen have the Name of Clowns given them: For we\ntake the Original Meaning of a Clown to be, one who is a quick, bright,\nwitty Fellow, who puts on the Appearance of Folly, while his Head is at\nWork to deceive you. Such as these were Shakespeare's Clowns, who knew the\nMeaning of the Word too well to make Fools of them. These were the Fellows\nthat he has employed, when there was any Business to dispatch, which\nrequired more than ordinary Address and Secresy in the Management of it,\nand who were to make Diversion to crowned Heads by the Sprightliness of\ntheir Wit. So that we apprehend the Word Clown, in it's original Meaning,\ndoes not signify an aukward Lout, but a bright, quick Fellow, who does more\nby his natural Parts, than by the Help of Education. From hence it was that\nCountrymen came to be called Clowns. They were found, upon Examination, to\nbe much brighter and sharper than they appeared to be at first Sight.\n\nWe have a true Specimen of one of these Kind of Geniuses, in _The Journey\nto London_, in the Character of John Moody; who, though he was bewildered\nin the Hurry and Bustle of London, and broke his Coach, and lost his\nMonkey, yet we find John has Sense enough to make just Observations upon\nhis Master's Conduct, as well as his Mistress's; and, no Doubt, had John\nbeen a real Character, instead of a fictitious one, he would have wished in\nhis Heart, that he had had the Offender, who broke his Coach, before his\nMaster as a Justice of the Peace, at his own Quarter Sessions in the\nBorough of Guzzledown; for if he had once got him there, whether the\nAccident which befel the Carriage, was occasioned by his own aukward\ndriving on the wrong Side of the Street, or whether the Fellow did it on\nPurpose, would have been all one in the Borough of Guzzledown. The Breaking\nhis Worship's Coach, would have been sufficient to have had him sent to\nLimbo.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XVII.\n\n    _That a Pointer, if he lifts up his Foot, when he comes upon Game, does\n    it in order to shew his Master the Spot where the Birds lie._\n\nThis is so well known to be an Error, that no Person, who is a Sportsman,\nneed be informed of the Mistake, with any other Design, than by Way of\nRidicule. It truly deserves the Name of a Vulgar Error: However, we shall\nput in a Word or two concerning the Nature of Pointers, and explain by what\nMeans they arrive at such Perfection, as to point at a Partridge for two\nHours together; as it will be necessary, in order to confute the Error.\n\nThere are different Kinds of Pointers, some are of Spanish Extraction, some\nPortuguese, some French, and I have lately heard of a rough Breed from\nGermany; in the West of England, and in Wales, they make them of English\nSpaniels, but as that is done by meer Dint of Correction, we shall pass\nthem over in Silence; though they are esteemed excellent when they are well\nbroke.\n\nWhat we shall endeavour to explain is, how it comes to pass, that a real\ntrue bred Pointer, shall point or stand at his Game, for a short Time,\nwithout having any Instructions given him at all by any Person.\n\nI apprehend, that a Pointer, if he was in a State of Nature, wild in the\nWoods and Fields, would procure his Sustenance in this Manner: He would\nbeat about, till he came upon the Scent of something which struck him\nconsiderably, and seemed worth his Attention; after which he would, by the\nDirection of the Scent, creep a little nearer, till he found himself quite\ncertain that he was very near some Game; upon which, such is the vast\nPleasure which this Animal receives from the Sensation of Smelling, his\nLimbs are seized with a Sort of Convulsion, which causes him to make a full\nStop, for a short Time, not only in order to contemplate his agreeable\nSituation, but likewise to consider, how he may best make such a sure Leap\nas to seize on his Prey.\n\nReader, when thou art hungry, and art going about thy Business in Haste\nthro' the City, did the savoury Effluvia which arises from roast Beef never\nstrike thy olfactory Nerves? Yes, no Doubt, thou hast been so agreeably\naccosted; thou hast made a full Stop; thou hast been so captivated with the\nOdour thereof, that thou hast begun to consider, even like a Pointer, how\nto seize upon this thy Game. If thou hast ever had such an Accident, thou\nmayest easily know the Situation of a Pointer, by consulting thy own\nBreast. It will be objected, that a Pointer wild in the Woods, could not\nsupport himself, at all Times of the Year, by catching Game. In answer to\nwhich, I say, that it is the Cold which hinders the Game from breeding\ncontinually. Now in Portugal, and those other warm Countries, of which\nthese Dogs are Natives, the Objection of Cold is removed, and for that\nReason there always will be, either young Partridges, or Young Pheasants,\nor Leverets, &c. upon which a Pointer might live all the Year round, though\nthe old ones would prove too quick for him. It will be no Objection,\nneither, to say, that a true bred Pointer will not break or tear his Game;\nfor that is owing to the Care which is taken, not to let him play with a\nBird too long, after it is shot, when he is first entered; for if once a\nDog has a Taste of the Blood, and gets a Habit of breaking his Game, it\nwill be almost impossible to cure him of it again.\n\nIt is the Nature of most Animals of Prey, to play with their Game before\nthey devour it. Every one must have observed how a Cat plays with a Mouse,\nbefore she dispatches it: It is a Kind of a Suspension of the Pleasure,\nwhich they promise themselves, in the devouring so delicious a Morsel. And\nthough Human Nature is apt to reflect upon the other Parts of the Creation\nfor Cruelty, he is not a bit better himself; for what Angler is not\nsensible of the high Pleasure of having a Trout at his Line? which he\nsuffers to flounce and spring in the Water much longer than he has\nOccasion, to which violent Pain and Fright of the Fish he gives the Name of\nfine Sport. Not to mention hunting an Animal to Death by Inches, with\nHounds, when he might take a Gun, and dispatch it in a Second. The Truth\nis, no Animal can be taxed with Cruelty, so long as he pursues the Dictates\nof his Nature.\n\nSince then it is the Nature of most Animals to play with their Game before\nthey dispatch it, we may conclude, that if a young Pointer does not devour\nhis Game when it is shot to him, it is only because we do not give him Time\nenough, and that, like other Animals of Prey, it is not his Manner to do it\nimmediately.\n\nHaving shewn that a Pointer is an Animal whose Prey is Game, we may\nconclude, that a young Dog makes that sudden Stop when he comes upon Game,\nfor the same Reason that a Cat stops before she leaps upon a Sparrow; viz.\nthat he may dart the surer upon them when he does leap.\n\nAs to the Article of holding up his Foot, it entirely depends upon what\nPosition his Legs happen to be in, when his Nose first catches the full\nScent of the Birds; he stands in a convulsed Situation; and whatever\nPosture a Leg is in, at the Time of his first being sure of the Scent, in\nthat Attitude he remains, whether his Leg happens to be lifted up or on the\nGround. So that if he does lift up his Leg, when he points at the Game, it\nis not in order to shew his Master the Spot where they lie, as some have\nimagined, but is entirely accidental.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XVIII.\n\n    _That the Way to make Boys learn their Books, is to keep them in School\n    all Day, and whip them._\n\nThough the Examples which we have of the Behaviour of the Ancient Worthies\nand Heroes, shew, that neither Bonds nor Imprisonment can abate the\nIntrepidity of a Man of true Courage; Yet, to Mankind in general, and\nespecially to those who are but of tender Years, Imprisonment and Scourging\ntogether, are most likely to blunt the Understanding, and take off the Edge\nof the Genius. And indeed, the Mistake of imprisoning Boys in a School, for\nwhole Days together, is practised only in Country Schools, where the\nMasters of them know no better. At Eaton and Westminster, that foolish\nCustom has been abolished for some Time; at Eaton especially, they perfect\nthemselves in their Lessons out of School, and only come into School to\nrepeat them. And, not to mention, how greatly the fresh Air contributes\ntowards clearing the Head, as all Students must have observed; the very\nThoughts of Liberty, and the knowing that after they have done with their\nLessons, they can follow their Amusements, is enough to make them apply\nwith double Diligence to what they are about: It is a Kind of Fighting for\nLiberty in that Case. Whereas, when a Boy is confined to School for a whole\nDay together, he has no Encouragement to exert himself in the Cause of\nLiberty; for when he has fought his Battle bravely, and gone through all\nthe Dangers of his Campaign, he is no nearer to his wished-for Mark,\nLiberty, than the dullest Boy at the lower End of School. But this leads me\nto another Error, (viz.)\n\n                  XIX.\n\n    _That clogging their Parts with long Grammar Rules, will make them\n    bright Scholars._\n\nThis Practice too begins to be left off in the great Schools. I remember,\nwhen I was a Boy, though I was exceedingly well grounded, and had the whole\nScheme of the Grammar quite clear in my Head; yet they thought proper to\ntorment me a long Time, with Rules at the End of the Syntax.\n\nThere was licet, and there was decet, and t\u00e6det, and oportet, and nocet,\nand Abundance more, Verbs Impersonal, that ought to be tied upon a String,\nlike the Roman-Catholic Beads, before they are given to Boys to get by\nHeart, without any Connection between them. I was in Ph\u00e6drus's Fables, and\nshould have known any of these independent Gentry, if I had met them singly\nin any Country in Europe, without being tormented with them alltogether.\n\nSuch Methods as these, are apt to make a Boy apprehend, that the Intention\nof Grammar is meerly to give Trouble, and perplex; without any View of\nAdvantage, which may hereafter arise from such an intense Application.\n\nAnd indeed, whatever the Intent of them may be, a Lad of such a Persuasion,\nwould not be much mistaken, with regard to the Effect they have.\n\nIt must be a very different Kind of Genius, which can attain to the\nRepetition of dull Grammar Rules, from one, who has Fire enough to digest\nthe Beauty of such Lines as these:\n\n  _Consedere Duces, et Volgi stante Coron\u00e2,_\n  _Surgit ad hos Clypei Dominus septemplicis Ajax;_\n  _Utque erat impatiens ir\u00e6, Sigeia torvo_\n  _Littora respexit, Classemque in Littora Vultu_, &c.\n                                Ovid Metam.\n\nBy letting him taste a little of the Kernel, without keeping him too long\nin the disagreeable Part of getting off the Outside of the Walnut, he would\nmake a much quicker Progress; as he would find, that the Trouble he had\nunderwent would be rewarded with such Pleasure, as nothing but the Idea of\nBusiness, or Force, which accompanies it, could render tiresome. It will be\nobjected here, that nothing can be done without these Grammar Rules, and\nthat however disagreeable they may be, they are what must be gone through,\nin order to make good Scholars. To which I answer, First, that common\nGrammar not only may be, but is, contracted into a much less Compass than\nis generally made use of. Nay, I will go farther: A certain Clergyman,\nwhose Name it is needless to mention here, was determined to try if he\ncould not teach a Boy Latin and Greek, without any Grammar at all; and he\nchose to try the Experiment first upon his own Son, who seems to be about\ntwelve Years of Age. The Boy can now construe any Latin or Greek, that is\ntolerably easy, very readily. And I make no Doubt, but as the World grows\nwiser, they will reduce Grammar into a shorter Compass still than ever has\nbeen done yet. The Grounds of Musick, are to the full as dry as the Rules\nof Latin Grammar; and it was formerly a great Work to teach Youth the Rules\nof Composition; Nevertheless, they have lately found out a much shorter Way\nof going to Work, and every one now begins to have a little Smattering of\nComposition; which they attain to by reading those little Pamphlets, which\nhave been wrote lately upon that Subject.\n\nI heard a Gentleman say, that he learned more of Composition, by reading a\nlittle short Thing of Pasquali's, than he could acquire by having a Master,\nwho taught by the old Method, in a couple of Years: It is the very same in\nGrammar, and indeed, it is the same in all Sciences. There is an easy Way\nof doing every Thing, if we could but find it out; and if any Thing appears\ndifficult, it is, because we are in a wrong Method.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XX.\n\n    _That teaching Boys Bawdy Books, will make them religious Men and good\n    Clergymen._\n\nThough most of the greatest Geniusses among the Ancients, have touched upon\nthat String; and though, reading the Works of the great Poets, who have\nwrote in that Style, does ripen the Genius, and teach Lads an elegant\nExpression, as well as set them forward in the Languages; yet, I cannot\ncome into the Opinion, that Youth, especially those who are intended for\nthe Church, should be suffered to read the Composition of such a Master of\nIntrigue, as Ovid; or some of the Odes of such a Libertine, as Horace.\n\nAn English Reader will understand my Meaning, when I tell him, that some of\nthe common School-books, which Boys learn at the Age of Sixteen, are more\nlewd than any Thing in Rochester's Poems.\n\nFor though this Lord was pretty plain in his Expressions, and his\nComposition is quite _Spiritoso_, yet his Works may rather be said to\ninstruct a Person in the Science of Wickedness, than to stir him up to it.\n\nThe Case is very different with regard to such a Writer as Ovid. He had the\ngreat Advantage of calling in the Religion of the Times to his Assistance,\nwhen he had a mind to be more wicked than ordinary: He could make the most\nlewd and profligate Scenes appear sacred Mysteries, by giving them the\npious Title of the Rites of Venus. Then there is a Softness through all his\nWorks, which attacks the Heart with a seeming harmless Familiarity, and\ndiffers very much from the Air of Rochester; whose Strokes may be compared\nto the smutty ones which Hogarth has given us, in some of his Paintings;\nwhile those of Ovid have the alluring Attitude of a Venus de Medicis.\n\nPardon, Reader, if I transgress a little, by owning, that I have seen such\na Book as Rochester's Poems long ago; and you will the more easily excuse\nme, when I tell you, that I was taught such a Book as Ovid at School. What\nhas been said about these Books, is intended to shew the Impropriety of\nusing such Authors in a School: And a Clergyman need not be ashamed of\nowning, that he has read even an Atheistical Book: For how should any\nPerson be able to confute an Author, unless he first peruses his Work, in\norder to know the Fallacy of the Arguments, which are made use of in it?\nAfter that, he may fairly endeavour to say something against it, but not\nbefore.\n\nWhat I would here urge is, that Boys might have many entertaining, useful\nBooks put into their Hands, which may be very elegant, and yet very\ninnocent; without stirring up their Passions to a higher Pitch, than Nature\nhas intended, by letting them into the History of the Amours which were\ncarried on among the ancient Romans, who were, if possible, more lascivious\nthan the modern; as Rome was at that Time of a larger Extent, and more\nwealthy, and consequently more able to carry on the Schemes of Vice, than\nat present.\n\nWhen Ovid wrote, the Romans might be said to be at the Height of their\nLuxury, in which they were not a little improved by their Eastern\nExpeditions. And tho' Ovid's Epistles, which are more usually taught at\nSchool, than his other Works, are modest enough in themselves, and would be\nproper enough for grown up People to read, being nothing but a polite\nCorrespondence between Lovers of Distinction; yet there is something so\ntender in the Style of them, that they are apt to give Youth a Turn for\nLove Affairs, rather sooner than they would have, if Nature was left to\nitself.\n\nFor tho' the Soil of England is fertile, and it may be called a fine,\nflourishing Country; yet, the Weather we have here is rough most Part of\nthe Year, and in many Parts of it, the Air is chill, and unwholesome; and\non that Account, nothing but the hardy Diversions, which are generally\nfollowed by Youth, such as Hunting, and the like, can ever keep them in\nHealth. Excess of Venery would agree much better with any Constitution, in\nthe soft Atmospere of Italy, than amongst the rough Blasts of Old England;\nso that if we give way so their Vices, we shall soon find that our\nConstitutions will not endure any such Excess of Pleasure, as the Italians\nare able to sustain more easily on Account of the Mildness of their\nClimate, and the Frame of their Constitutions. Not that I would be thought\nto justify Lewdness and Debauchery in Italy, any more than in England. I\nonly endeavour to shew the double Impropriety of suffering English Youth,\nto be acquainted with the Vices of the Italians.\n\nI am for having an Edition of Horace printed, which shall contain only such\nof his Odes as do not touch upon the Affair of Love. It is in vain to say\nthat Boys need only be taught the modest Part of his Works; for if they are\ntaught only the modest Odes by their Masters, they will be sure to read the\nbawdy ones by themselves.\n\nBut if I was to offer ever so many just Reasons, for the Confirmation of\nwhat has been here said, I am afraid it would be exceeding difficult to\npersuade any one to leave a Track, which they have long been used to.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXI.\n\n    _That the present Age is a duller Age, and less ingenious, than those\n    which are past._\n\nThis Error is owing to those Harangues, which the old People entertain\ntheir Posterity with, over the Fire in the Winter, about what was done in\ntheir Time, and what clever Fellows they themselves were in their Youth,\nand how much the Age declines, &c. In short, an old Man, as Horace\ndescribes him, is _Laudator Temporis acti se Puero_. But we must beg Leave\nto tell these venerable Declaimers, that however they may be wrapped up in\nthe Greatness of their own Exploits, England never could boast a brighter\nAge, nor perhaps so bright a one, as she can at present; and we challenge\nany one who contradicts it, to tell us, if the Ancients were greater\nGeniusses than the Moderns, in what Art or Science it was, that they did so\ngreatly outstrip us. Perhaps such a Person might begin first, and say, that\nthey excelled us greatly in Carving and Painting. With regard to these I\nacquiesce, and do acknowledge, that the Art of Carving is not in such\nPerfection as in former Ages, because it is not practised, and is not the\npresent fashionable Ornament of Houses; and we do likewise acknowledge,\nthat the Art of Painting on Glass is very near lost, and is not likely to\nbe revived whilst the Window-tax continues.\n\nWe agree, I say, that the Arts of Carving, and Painting upon Glass, are\nalmost extinct; and allowing that former Ages excelled the present in\nPainting in general, yet, What are these few Polite Arts? They are quite\ninsignificant, when compared to the vast Improvements, which have been made\nin many other really useful Branches: In Agriculture, in Navigation, in\nWar, in gaining Settlements in foreign Countries, in Trading to those\nSettlements, in Printing, in carrying on Correspondence by Posts, in Roads,\nin Carriages, in the Breed of Horses, in Manufactures, and in numberless\nother Articles, too tedious to mention.\n\nIt must be acknowledged, that for all these Improvements, we are obliged to\nthe Arts and Sciences. They are as it were the first moving Force of Power\nin any Country; and if we take a Survey of all the Nations of the Earth, we\nshall find, that those Monarchs, who encourage Learning, and support\nAcademies, are able to extend their Dominions farther than those, who, by a\ntotal Attention to Military Discipline, (though even that too depends upon\nthe Sciences) neglect the Cultivation of that Learning, upon the Support of\nwhich, the Extension of their Dominions to foreign Parts depends. It is to\nthe Invention of Astronomers, Mechanics, and Opticians, that we owe the\nprincipal Instruments, which are made Use of in Navigation; to their\nIngenuity we owe the Quadrant, without which we should never know our\nLatitude; to these we are indebted for the Telescope, by which we discover\nJupiter's Satellites, and find out our Longitude; to these we owe the\nExplanation of the Compass; to these the Contrivances of Pullies, by which\nwe hale up our Tackling. In short, all the Inventions, which we find in the\ndifferent Machines made Use of, either by Land or Water, though by long Use\nthey are become familiar in the Hands of illiterate Persons, were no doubt\noriginally contrived by the Study and Ingenuity of Men of Science at Home.\nAnd if Nature should shew her dislike to a Stagnation, and express her\nwonted Approbation of a Vicissitude in Human Affairs; who knows, but when\nthe Sciences are forgot in this Kingdom, and we, by that Means, lose the\nArt of exerting that Force, which must keep up the Dignity of England over\nher Colonies; who knows (which Heaven avert!) but America may see herself\nthe Mistress of the World, and the Seat of Empire, whilst we are reduced\nonce more to the State of unletter'd Savages; and shall in vain discharge\nour feeble Arrows, and cast our ill-directed Javelins, against the Sides of\ntheir perhaps Five Hundred Gun Ships of War: Or the great Mogul, with his\nprodigious Armies, for Want of these Arts and Sciences abovementioned, and\nfor no other Reason, may one Day or other find himself dethroned by a\nPrince, who will be able to reach him, though his Dominions do lie on the\nother Side of an unfathomable Sea.\n\nAnd if these Vicissitudes should in Process of Time happen, they will be no\nother than what have been before. What is become of Palmyra? Where is Troy?\nThe stately Palaces of Troy are removed into the peaceful Habitation of the\nonce Arcadian Shepherds. And if the Disposer of all Things should so order\nit, Daphnis and Menalcas, may again sing their rural Songs on the very\nSpot, where now the Seraglio of the Grand Signior seems to bid Defiance to\na whole Continent.\n\nThough there is a large Scope for Dissertation, on the various Improvements\nof different Kinds, which have been made in almost all Branches, both of\nScience and Commerce, it cannot be expected, (even supposing the Author\ncapable of such a Task) that they should all be brought into a Work of this\nNature, as we have already enlarged more upon this Subject, than was at\nfirst intended. However, as it is a disputed Point, whether the Science of\nMusic is improved or not, we shall beg Leave to say a little upon that\nSubject. And as Music is a Science, which, though it is not equal to some\nothers in Utility, falls short of none, for the innocent Entertainment\nwhich it affords to those, who are so happy as to be formed by Nature, with\nOrgans for the Enjoyment of it; we will venture to make it the Subject of\nthe next Chapter. And we think it is an Error to affirm,\n\n                  XXII.\n\n    _That the Musical Composition of this present Age is inferior to that\n    of the last._\n\nThough we are very sensible that we shall have a Multitude of Mouths open\nagainst us, for being so hardy as to assert what will be the Contents of\nthis Chapter, and shall be exclaimed against by many, who never yet came to\nthe Knowledge of any other Music than Corelli's Sonatas, which must indeed\nbe allowed to be almost the Foundation of Music; and though all those\nPerformers who live in the Country, and either through Business at Home, or\nother Reasons, have not had the Opportunity of hearing the best modern\nMusic performed in Town, and having tried some of the worst of it over by\nthemselves, upon their Instruments, and finding the Execution of it too\ndifficult for their Performance, on Account of their being unacquainted\nwith the modern Manner of bowing and fingering, together with a total\nMistake of the Air and Manner, in which the Composition set before them\nought to be played: All these Obstacles put together, I say, are apt to\ninduce such, as are not very ready at Sight, and labour under the aforesaid\nInconveniences, to pronounce all Modern Music, of what Kind soever, (taking\nit all in the Lump, as one would do Soap or Tallow) to be exceeding bad and\nfoolish, and therefore not worth a Gentleman's Attention.\n\nNow begging Pardon first, for the ill Manners of Contradiction, I shall\ntake the liberty to offer a few reasonable Arguments, to shew, that tho'\nthere has lately been a great deal of very bad Music performed, yet there\nhas likewise been published a great Variety of exceeding fine Composition.\n\nWithout mentioning the Names of the Composers, or the Names of their Music,\nwe shall endeavour to give some substantial Reasons, why the present\nComposition, should excel that of those, who wrote in those Times when\nMasters were but newly become acquainted with the Laws of Harmony.\n\nThe Case is the same in Music as it is in all other Matters; we find that\nall Arts have the greater Improvements made in them, the longer they have\nbeen introduced into any Country, and the more they are followed. This is\nnatural; because the more Hands a Science has to go through, the greater\nChance it has to meet with Men of Ingenuity in its Progress, who may\nforward it towards Perfection. What a sorry Appearance would an ancient\nGalley make against one of our First-rate Men of War, either in Sailing or\nFighting? Or if it had been possible for Julius C\u00e6sar, with all his Romans,\nwhen they invaded Britain, to have met with a Forty Gun Ship, they would\nhave been all sunk by a few Broad Sides. This is a Truth that every one\nwill acknowledge; and it is as true, that the present Musicians do very\nmuch excel those who lived some Time ago.\n\nMasters of Music, by Practice, have lately found out a better, easier, and\nstronger Way of Performing upon their several Instruments, than was\nformerly known; and to this new and better Method of Performance they have\ncomposed suitable Music, which admits of greater Execution, greater Variety\nof Expression, and a better Tone, than could be brought out of Instruments\nbefore such Improvements were made. And we find that Geminiani, who was a\nclose Follower of Corelli, has thought proper to make Concertos of what\nCorelli intended for Solos; well knowing, that though the Ground of them\nwas exceeding fine, yet they were very capable of being improved by adding\nParts to them, and adorning them with what might be called, at that Time,\nmodern Embellishments and Graces.\n\nAnd if one of so small Judgment as myself, may say any Thing about the\nComposition of so great a Genius as Geminiani, I will venture to think,\nthat we have Masters now living, who are capable of taking some of the\nancient Stiffness of Style from that great Composer, and giving him a more\neasy, free, and flowing Air; without taking from the Greatness of the\nSubject, or varying from the Groundwork of the Harmony, in the least.\n\nFor the Intent of Music is not to puzzle People's Heads, by consisting of\nintricate Harmony, and stiff Mathematical Transitions from one Key to\nanother; by that Means, it would become the most dry and insipid of all\nSciences, and fit for none but Pedants. No, the sole Intent of Music is to\ngive Pleasure, which it is more likely to do, by the Freedom and Ease of\nits Transitions, and the Softness of its flowing Numbers, than by a stiff,\nstarched, and over formal Composition.\n\nThe present Musicians excel the ancient ones, as much as the modern Ladies\ndo those of former Times in Dress; and their Compositions differ as much\nfrom those which were played some Time ago, as the elegant Ease of a modern\nLady's Shape, excels the stiff Stays and monstrous Hoop Petticoats of those\nwho had the Honour to be the Grand-mothers of the present Age; and which\nare apt to give us the Idea of an Engagement of a different Nature from one\nwhere Cupid is supposed to preside: It rather puts us in Mind of something\nMartial, and makes us almost ready to apprehend we are going to exchange\nHardiment, as Shakespeare calls it, instead of railing our Expectations\ninto a Duel of another Nature.\n\nHaving now shewn our utter Aversion to Stays, we will return to our\nSubject. And we hope the Reader will pardon the Digression, as this is not\nthe first Time that a Pair of Stays have made a Man turn out of his Road.\n\nBut there is another Reason why the modern Music should excel the ancient;\nand that is, the Difference in the Make and and Length of the Bow with\nwhich a Violin is struck. Violins are the Sinews of a Concert; they are, as\nit were, the main Body of a Band of Music; they are the Roman Legions of\nthe Army; while the other Instruments are Slingers, Archers, and\nLight-horse. Now in the Time of Corelli, who must be allowed to be the\nFather of Harmony, the Bows were not above half so long as they are at\npresent, neither were they so well shaped, either at the Heel or Point, nor\nhad they the Spring which the Bows now made have. So that a Piece of Music\nwhich is calculated for the modern Manner of Bowing, could not have gone\noff so well in former Times: They had not the Power of swelling a Note out,\nin Imitation of the Human Voice, which may be done with a modern Bow; and\nthe old Bows were so aukwardly made, that they could not be held at the\nEnd, but were obliged to be kept in a Kind of Ballance towards the Middle;\nand we may guess what spudding Work it must be, when there were not above a\nCouple of Inches in a Bow which could be conveniently used. However, these\nlittle short Bows suited very well for even Semiquavers and Quavers, of\nwhich we find the old Music chiefly to consist. So that we by no Means call\nin Question the Abilities of the Composers who lived at that Time; since it\nappears, that they composed their Music suitable to the Instruments which\nthey had to perform it upon. No; we have a due Reverence for the Memory of\nthose very great Geniusses; and are fully persuaded, that if it was\npossible for them to live again, with the Advantages which the Moderns\nenjoy the Benefit of, they would excel not only what they have done\nthemselves, but likewise what any one else has done.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXIII.\n\n    _That the Hearing of Musical Performances, is apt to soften Men too\n    much, and by that Means, to give them an effeminate Manner._\n\nWhether this Error proceeds from the Idea of that Facility with which Music\nis able to stir up a Variety of Passions in the Heart, annexed to the Idea\nof that Disposition which appears to be stronger in Women than in Man, and\nis called the Weakness of the Sex; or whether it proceeds from a Notion\nthat Pity and Sorrow, and the like, are Passions which are not worthy the\nBreast of a Man, and are only fit for the timorous Constitution of Women,\nit favours equally of Absurdity and Barbarity in both Cases.\n\nFor so far is Pity from denoting any Cowardice or Effeminacy, that it is a\ncertain Indication of a great Soul; we find it frequently mentioned among\nthe most conspicuous Virtues, with which the Heroes among the Ancients were\nsaid to be endued. And with regard to the Passions, which are raised by\nMusic in the Heart it depends upon the Nicety of the Feelings in the Nerves\nof the Hearer; and we cannot help observing, that Men of the greatest\nSensibility are generally Persons of the strictest Honour and the most\nexalted Courage.\n\nAs for those who are so unfortunate as not to be formed by Nature for the\nReception of harmonious Sounds, we do not entirely give them up: But we\nrefer the Reader to a Passage, which he will find in the Merchant of\nVenice, and which, tho' the Observation may hold good in some Cases, yet,\nwe must beg to be excused inserting the Words here, as we think the Remark\nis rather too severe and too general, and was introduced by the Poet\nchiefly with an Intent to set his malicious Jew off in the most odious\nLight, who had been declaring, that he detested the vile Squeaking of the\nWry-neck'd Fife, and ordered his [1]Windows to be shut up, that the Sound\nof them might not be heard in his House. And if the old Poet is a little\nsevere in this Place, he does it principally with an Intention to divest\nthe Audience of any Compassion, which might otherwise be stirred up in\ntheir Minds by the Misfortunes which will attend Shylock in the following\nScenes; and by that Means the Plot turns out according to the Wish of the\nSpectators. This is one of those Preparations of the ensuing Scene for\nwhich Shakespeare is so notorious, and which may be observed in all his\nPlays. But to return to our Subject; it seems that those People who have\nOrgans for the Reception of Musical Sounds, are affected with such Passions\nas the Composer of good Music intends to excite in them. And we believe\nthat the Constitution of a Hearer may be moulded and formed into various\nShapes by the different Airs which he hears; and moreover, if a Person was\nalways to be accustomed to soft, effeminate Music, we agree that it might\nrender his Constitution effeminate likewise; but as there are such great\nVariety of different Movements, which are adapted to different Songs, all\nwhich raise different Passions in the Mind, it is very absurd to tax all\nMusic in the Lump with Softness and Effeminacy.\n\nAny one may perceive the Difference of these two Songs, both of which have\ntheir Effect when they are well sung.\n\n  _Gently touch the warbling Lyre,_\n  _Cloe seems inclin'd to rest;_\n  _Fill her Soul with fond Desire,_\n  _Softest Notes will please her best._\n\nThese Words, which are sung to an Air of Geminiani's, cause a very\ndifferent Sensation, from these which follow, and are set to a suitable\nAir:\n\n  _Come cheer up my Lads, 'tis to Glory we steer &c._\n\nWhatever the first Song may do, this last is not likely to make any Body\neffeminate. I mention these two common Songs, because they are what every\nReader is capable of digesting, and on that Account are more proper for the\nPurpose than any of those Songs out of Operas, which are not generally\nknown.\n\nBut we beg Leave here to make a necessary Distinction between two Ideas,\nwhich are sometimes confounded together, and which is apt to lead People\ninto this Error as much as any Thing.\n\nIt would be very proper in us, before we prejudice ourselves against any\nArt or Science, to be quite clear in the Objections which we raise against\nit; we should be certain that they are just, and founded upon good Grounds.\nSome People are apt to confound the Idea of raising the softer Passions,\nwhich have their Residence in our Nature, with the Idea of Effeminacy,\nwhich, as I said before, are quite distinct. We have an Instance of the\nPassion of Pity in the well known Picture of Bellisarius. The Hero, who\nstands in the dejected Attitude, appears to be very much softened by the\nMisfortunes and Distress to which he sees Bellisarius reduced; and yet no\none will say that he is an effeminate Fellow for it; on the contrary, it\nwill be allowed that he shews a Greatness of Soul; he is struck with a\ncontemplative Sorrow at the Misfortunes of a General, whose invincible\nCourage and great Worth he himself had been Witness of. And Bravery in\nDistress is not only the Subject of Painting, but it is the constant Theme\nof Music: The Operas and Oratorios are full of it, and though the\nMisfortunes of the Heroes which are the Subject of them do soften, yet it\nis not such a Kind of Softness as to beget any Effeminacy, but of a\ncontrary Nature, and is such a Sensation as an ordinary Hearer will\nperceive at the Beginning of this common Song, which is well enough in its\nWay.\n\n  _How little do the Landmen know,_\n  _What we poor Sailors feel,_\n  _When Seas do roar, and Winds do blow;_\n  _But we have Hearts of Steel._\n\nIf we are to be moved by such a Song as this, what shall we feel at some of\nthe masterly Strokes of Handel in his Oratorio of Samson.\n\n  _Total Eclipse, no Sun, no Moon,_\n  _All dark, amidst the Blaze of Noon._\n\nOne would think, by the resigned Solemnity of this following Movement,\n\n  _Bring the Laurel, bring the Bays_, &c.\n\nthat he had been reading Milton's Paradise Lost as well as the Samson\nAgonistes. This seems to be the very Music of the fallen Angels, where he\nsays, they made Use of soft Airs, which inspired true Heroic Bravery, and\nwhich he prefers to the noisy, as it was the Cause of a lasting, fixed, and\nreserved Courage. Milton says, that as soon as the Colours were displayed,\nthey marched to the Sound of Flutes and soft Recorders:\n\n                     \"_Anon they move_\n  _In perfect Phalanx, to the Dorian Mood_\n  _Of Flutes and soft Recorders; such as rais'd_\n  _To Height of noblest Temper Heroes old_\n  _Arming to battle, and instead of Rage_\n  _Deliberate Valour breath'd firm and unmov'd_\n  _With Dread of Death to Flight and foul Retreat._\"\n\nIn short, the March in Rinaldo might possibly make Soldiers seize hold of\ntheir Arms and March, but it must be such an Air as that in the Overture of\nBerenice which makes them face an Enemy.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXIV.\n\n    _That the Italian Operas consist of effeminate Musick._\n\nThough it must be acknowledged that the Language of Italy is smooth and\nflowing, and therefore very much adapted to musical Sounds, and though\nthose Songs which are picked out of Operas, and sung by Ladies at Home, are\ngenerally the Love Songs in the Opera, being such as best suit the Tastes\nand Geniussses of such amiable Performers; yet, it is equally an Error to\nsay that Operas are effeminate, or that all the Songs in them are Love\nSongs. No one will say that Quilici with his Bass Voice, in the Character\nof Athridates, acted an effeminate Part; he was one of the principal\nCharacters, and acted the Part of a Tyrant, to which the Music was\nexcellently adapted, which was greatly set off by his deep Voice and the\nproper Carriage of his Person: So when Mattei orders her General to be\ndisarmed, the Majesty of a Queen is admirably supported. Operas are like\nother Performances of Entertainment; they consist of the sublime, the\ncruel, the tender, the distressed, the amorous; in short, they must have\nVariety of Scenes and Incidents in order to make them please the Audience,\nand are like other Dramatic Pieces, not to be taxed with any particular\nStyle or Mode of Acting, but consist of such Scenes, Plots, Music, and\nDecorations, as are most likely to give Entertainment to an Audience.\n\nWe by no Means defend the Impropriety of a Squeaking Hero, and think that\nit is a Pity it cannot be altered; however, that Imperfection is generally\npalliated, by Propriety of Action, treading the Stage well; Greatness of\nPerformance, and many other Excellencies, which those who are much used to\nhear musical Entertainments will easily discern.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXV.\n\n    _That nothing is Poetry but what is wrote in Rhyme._\n\nThis may truly be called a vulgar Error, because it is a Mistake of which\nnone but the Vulgar are guilty of. Though there is a Kind of harmonious\nJingle in Rhyme, which makes the Composition have an agreeable Sound, yet\nit is looked upon by all Judges to be the lowest Kind of Poetry. And though\nPope, and other great Writers, have succeeded to Admiration in the\nImprovement of it, yet it is in Reality nothing but the barbarous Remains\nof the wild Taste of our Ancestors; not to mention how it cramps the Genius\nof a Writer, after he has hit upon a favourite Thought, to be forced to\nlook out for a Rhyme, which must, in Spite of every Thing that can be said\nin Favour of it, be exceeding laborious.\n\nAnd notwithstanding Poets endeavour to hide this Labour and Pains they have\nbeen at, and affect to have set down their first Thoughts, yet, as Horace\nobserves, the foul Copy of a good Writer will always have a great Number of\nBlots and Alterations in it: This is true of all Poetical Composition; but\na Poem which is wrote in Rhyme, must, according to the Nature of the Thing,\nbe more laboured than one that is not. And even Prior himself, whose Works\nare allowed to be all Ease and Elegance, is said to have taken more Pains\nwith his Composition, than any other Writer of Eminence. That very Ease and\nElegance, which we perceive in the best Poets, is the Result of great Pains\nand Study, and is no other than a judicious Choice of Words and Phrases,\ntill they have found some that will suit. And however a Poetical Author may\nboast of writing his first Thoughts, we cannot possibly have any Testimony\nof it but his own.\n\nBesides, when we have done all, Verses wrote in Rhyme are nothing near so\nmusical as those which are without it. Where shall we find Verses, among\neven the best of our English Poets who wrote in Rhyme, which are equal in\nSmoothness and Harmony to these two Lines in Theocritus?\n\n  [Greek: Adion, \u00f4 poiman, to teon melos, \u00ea to kataches]\n  [Greek: T\u00ean apo tas petras kataleixetai hupsothen hud\u00f4r.]\n                                _Id. 1._\n\nOr these of Ovid, which, though they are far from being the most smooth in\nthe Book, are however more harmonious than any we can produce now.\n\n  _Sic ubi Fata vocant udis abjectis in Herbis,_\n  _Ad vada M\u00e6andri, concinit albus Olor._\n\nThough the first of these Verses makes a Whistling like the Reeds in a\nRiver, the last runs so glib, that it is ready to slip from under one\nbefore one would have it.\n\nWe acknowledge that the Latin Language is a great Help to the Running of a\nVerse, and if the Reader insists upon that to be the only pre-eminence\nwhich Latin Verses have over English, he is very welcome to think as he\nlikes best. Moreover, if he is so fond of Rhyme, we can inform him of a\nBook which is wrote, in Latin Rhyme, and is very much at his Service: The\nTitle of the Book is Drunken Barnaby; which, as it is wrote in a dead\nLanguage, will most likely remain an everlasting Burlesque upon the\nBarbarity of Rhyme.\n\nBut we may venture to go a little farther. It is not necessary for a Work\nto be wrote in Verse at all to entitle it to the Name of Poetry. Any Work\nof a fictitious Nature, and which is calculated meerly for Entertainment,\nhas as just a Claim to be stiled Poetical Composition, as one that is wrote\nin the strictest and most confined Metre; Poetry taking its Name from the\nMatter of which it is composed, and not from the Length or Sound of its\nWords; and we may observe, that such Poetry as consists of those Numbers\nwhich are least confined in their Metre, is generally the most spirited and\nsublime. We have an Instance of this in the Writings of Pindar, a Poet of\nwhose Abilities, Horace gives an Account in his Ode,\n\n  _Pindarum quisquis_, &c.\n\nAnd indeed we have no Occasion to go any farther for Examples of excellent\nPoetry wrote in Prose, than some of the Plays in our own Language; Ben\nJohnson, Congreve, and many more who wrote in Prose, are nevertheless\nranked among the Poets.\n\nReader, when thou seest any Thing in this Book which thou didst know\nbefore, it is hoped thou wilt be so candid as to consider, that although\nthou art sensible of the Errors of other People, yet they themselves may\nnot be sensible of them: Yes, even thou, O! profound Philosopher! mayest\nhave some mistaken Notions of thy own; for what mortal Man can pretend to\nsuch Knowledge as never to be mistaken? And we ourselves, while we are\nendeavouring to rectify the Errors of others in this Book, are as likely to\nbe mistaken as any Body.\n\nHowever, there is one Reason why a Work of this Nature is likely to give\nsome Entertainment; it treats of such Variety of Subjects, that there is\nMatter for Argumentation in every Page. And it may be observed too perhaps,\nthat it treats of more Subjects than the Author himself seems too\nunderstand; which we do very readily acknowledge: And if a Professor in any\nof the different Branches which are here treated of, who is better versed\nin the Nature of the Subject than the Author, thinks proper to rectify any\nMistake which may be here made, and does it in a liberal Way, we shall not\ntake it amiss, but perhaps may endeavour to answer him, if we should still\ndiffer from him in our Opinion.\n\nOn the other Hand, we shall be under no great Apprehensions from the\nCriticisms of such Readers who have not good Nature enough to be\nentertained with the Matter of a Book, and only read for the Pleasure of\nPointing out the Faults in Public; of which Sort we are very sorry to say\nthat we know too many. These are such Kind of Geniusses as read more out of\nParade than with a Design to be entertained; and _may_ read.[2]----They\nseldom acquire any Knowledge, having generally bad Memories and confused\nHeads, devouring every Thing, but digesting Nothing. I tell thee, a Man of\ntrue Parts, and sound Memory, will acquire more by reading one Hour, than\nsuch Whippersnappers as these are able to attain to by lumbering over a\nFolio.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXVI.\n\n    _That kicking up the Heel behind, and twisting round upon one Leg, is\n    fine Scating._\n\nThere are two Methods of Scating, one is made Use of for the Sake of\nExpedition and Conveyance from Place to Place, and is practised by the\nBoors or Peasants in Holland; the other is calculated entirely for\nAmusement, and answers the End of _Shining_ upon the Ice, and therefore is\nsuited for Gentlemen near Towns upon Canals, and broad Pieces of Water. The\nfirst of these Methods is performed by throwing the Body into such an erect\nPosture inclining a little upon the Outside of the Scate, and drawing in\nthe Hip gradually, as will describe small Curve upon the Ice; this Practice\nof Scating eases the Inside of the Thigh, and rests it in such a Manner as\nto allow it Time to regain Strength for the next Stroke, and therefore is\nvery useful in long Journies; or else as to the Article of Swiftness, a\nstraight Line will carry a Person on faster than a Curve, because while he\nis describing a Curve he has more Ground to run over.\n\nThe other Method of Scating, which is known in England by the Name of\nRolling, is done upon the same Principle as the former, only as you have no\nOccasion for Expedition, you have an Opportunity of dweling longer upon\nyour Strokes, and your Time; by which Means, instead of describing a small\nCurve, you describe a large one.\n\nIt will be necessary to explain the Cause of this Motion, before we can\nmake the Reader sensible of what we intend to say.\n\nAll Bodies that are put into Motion upon the Surface of the Earth, are\nacted upon by two Forces; namely, a Projectile Force and a Centripetal\nForce. The Projectile Force is that which is given it by the Hand or\nStrength of any Person, and the Centripetal Force is that which causes all\nBodies to seek the Center of the Earth. For Instance, when a Stone is cast\ninto the Air to any Distance, the Reason why it does not move on to\nEternity without stopping (as it ought to do by the Principles of\nMechanics) is, because the Centripetal Force keeps continually acting upon\nit, till it has pulled it down to the Ground again: This serves to explain\nwhat is meant by a Centripetal Force.\n\nNow, when a Person scates, he is acted upon by these two Forces, as other\nBodies in Motion are. It is the Projectile Force which throws him upon the\nOutside of the Scate, till he has got quite out of the Center of Gravity,\nby which Means he would be pulled to the Ground by the Centripetal Force,\nif he was not supported by the Projectile Force, which is strong enough to\nmake Head against the Centripetal for a little while (in the same Manner as\nit is able to keep a Stone in the Air till it is spent) and by that Time\nthe Person scating has recovered himself into an erect Posture. This\nProjectile Force is given by a Stroke of the Foot, inclined to the Plain of\nthe Ice; by which Means, the _whole_ Edge of the Scate takes hold, and is\nyour moving Force; and the more of the Edge of the Scate a Person uses in\nhis Stroke, the easier he will go to himself, and the greater Velocity he\nwill move with: For if he dwells more upon the Heel of the Scate than the\nToe, or vice vers\u00e2, he not only loses Part of his moving Force, by losing\nPart of the Edge of his Scate, which is absolutely the moving Force, but he\nlikewise encreases his Friction, which ought to be destroyed as much as\npossible; and at the same Time loses that Symmetry of Gesture, upon which\nthe Gracefulness of his Attitude depends.\n\nWhen a Person scates properly, he keeps the Foot that he strikes with in\nsuch a Posture upon the Ice, as to make the whole Scate take hold of it\nsideways, without destroying his progressive Motion; and instead of kicking\nup his Heel behind, just when he takes Leave of the Ice, with the Foot\nwhich has been striking, he gives his Toe a Turn outwards, which not only\ngives him a genteel Air, being according to the Rules of Dancing, but\nlikewise sends him with twice the Force upon the Outside, as it adds to\nthat Projectile Force which is to make Head against the Centripetal, and to\nkeep him upon his Legs after he has got out of the Center of Gravity; and\nwhich uncommon Phoenomenon gives that Surprize and Pleasure to a Beholder,\nwhich he perceives at the Sight of a fine Scater.\n\nI mention this, because I have met with those who have obstinately\npersisted in it, that some Persons who kick up their Heels behind, and\nstrike only with the Toe of their Scate, because they can go a Snail's\nGallop upon the Outside, are fine Scaters; when they are making Use of a\nMethod which is repugnant to the very Principles of Mechanics.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXVII.\n\n    _That using hard Words and long Sentences, in Discourse or in Writing,\n    is an Indication of Scholarship._\n\nIt must be allowed, that good Language is a very great Embellishment,\neither to a Person's Conversation, or his Writing; but as it is intended\nonly to set off what we have to say to the best Advantage, we should\nendeavour to use it with such Moderation, as will answer that End, and no\nmore; otherwise, we shall make ourselves appear very ridiculous in the Eyes\nof Men of Learning and Knowledge.\n\nGood Language, in the Mouth of a Fine Gentleman, resembles the Elegance of\nhis Dress; it becomes equally ridiculous when ill-judged, or over done: For\nas there is no Doubt but good Cloaths set off the Person to a great\nAdvantage, when they are made with Judgement, and worn with a becoming\nCarriage, so an elegant Choice of Words and Sentences are a great Ornament\nto Conversation. But on the other Hand, a Suit of Cloaths, though made of\nthe finest Materials and covered with Lace, will make but an aukward\nAppearance if it is ill-made, and worn by one who has not the Carriage of a\nGentleman. So it is with Language. Fine Words, in the Mouths of the\nIgnorant, are as unbecoming as Gold Lace upon the Back of a Porter.--And\nnot only the Ignorant are guilty of this Error, but even those who do know\nthe Meaning of the Words they use, are apt, by affecting an elegant\nDiction, to run themselves into Obscurity; and while they are attending to\ntheir Language, and studying hard Words, neglect the Matter of their\nDiscourse; to explain which is the sole End of Speaking. The Use of Words\nbeing only to convey our Ideas to each other.\n\nThere is a Shew-board over a Watchmaker's Shop at Oxford, which may serve\nfor a Burlesque upon the Folly of using hard Words: I cannot charge my\nMemory with all the Jargon wrote upon that Board; however, I remember that\nit was a long Account of what the Man in the Shop sold, and what he did;\nand among other Things it said that _Horologies_ were _mundified_ there;\nwhich Expression we think is enough to make any Man sick of the Languages,\nand abjure every Thing that belongs to Literature for the future.\n\nI have met People in the Street, whose profound Ignorance I have been well\nassured of, who have immediately stunned me upon the first entering into\nDiscourse with half a Dozen hard Words: And it is not long since, a young\nGentleman came to the Coffee-house, and ordered the Waiter, when he sent\nCoffee and Tea to his Chambers, to let him have an _additional_ Muffin: The\nMan stared at him, and told him, that he did not know how to do one in that\nManner, but he could carbonade him one if he pleased.\n\nA Lady would think it extraordinary language, upon a Gentleman's desiring\nto carry on an Intrigue with her, if he was to ask her, whether she would\nhave an additional Husband, or not? However, as this is a prodigious fine\nWord, and as fine Words are always made use of in addressing the Ladies, we\nare of Opinion that it would be proper to adapt this as an Improvement in\nthe Language of Lovers.\n\nAlmost all Professions are stuffed so full of Terms of Art, that to\nunderstand the Meaning of all the Words which are made use in any one of\nthem, is long enough for a Science of itself. The only End they answer, is\nto puzzle those who are not of the same Profession. Not long ago, a young\nMan in the Country, who had weak Eyes, applied to a Surgeon for Relief in\nhis Disorder. The Surgeon, upon examining his Patient, told him, that he\nwould send him some Drops which would _refrigerate_ his Eye.\n\nThe young Man came Home again, not very well satisfied, being not certain\nwhat he might have to undergo by this Refrigeration, having never heard the\nWord before. Surely he might with as much Propriety have been told, that\nwhat was in the Bottle would put him to no Pain, but was only intended to\ncool his Eyes.\n\nIt is incredible to think how cleverly some People, who have not had the\nAdvantages of Education, will manage about Half a Dozen of these Words when\nthey have got them. I have known some, who, for the Space of four or five\nMinutes, would deceive a Stranger, and induce him to think that he had met\nwith a Person of great Learning. And however odd this may appear, we think\nwe ourselves can manage the few hard Words which have been mentioned here,\nin such a Manner as to make an extraordinary Sentence of them: For\nInstance, supposing a Person had no other fine Words but these in his\nCatalogue, and had an Occasion for them in addressing a Lady; we are of\nOpinion, that he might shine by ranging them all in this Order.\n\nMadam, I presume your _Horologie_ will never go right unless it is\n_mundified_ by an _additional_ Lover; therefore, let me have the Honour to\n_refrigerate_ your Eye.\n\nA Swain of a more happy Invention, might make a much finer Speech out of\nthese Words; but as we have done our utmost in the Attempt, we shall take\nLeave of the Subject; having shewn, to a Demonstration, the singular\nAdvantage of making Use of fine Words.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXVIII.\n\n    _That the Way to get a Sailing Boat off the Shore, when she is fast by\n    any Accident, is to let go both or all the Sails, and stand at her\n    Head, and push with a Sprit._\n\nThis Error, though it may seem ridiculous to those who have been brought up\nat Sea, and understand Sailing, is nevertheless very common in Inland\nRivers, where Sailing is but little understood. You may very frequently see\nfresh-water Sailors, as soon as they find that their Boat has struck,\nimmediately let both their Main-sail and Fore-sail fly, after which they\nall run to the Head of the Boat with Sprits, and begin to endeavour to push\nher off; which Method is contrary to the Rules of Mechanics, and therefore\nof Sailing.\n\nA Boat or Vessel of any Size (a 90 Gun Ship moving upon the same Principle\nas the smallest Cutter,) is acted upon by the Powers which are the Cause of\nher Motion as she swims in the Water, in the same Manner as a Lever of the\nfirst Kind, whose Center or Prop is between the Power and the Weight. To\nexplain this, let us suppose a Boat, instead of Swimming in the Water, to\nbe upon dry Land, and to have her Mast run quite through her, and fastened\ninto the Ground, upon which she might be turned at Pleasure, as upon an\nAxle-Tree: In this Case, as her Mast is rather nearer her Head than her\nStern, it would be more easy to turn her Head round by laying hold of her\nStern, because there would be a Mechanical Advantage, by the greater Length\nfrom the Stern to the Mast, than from the Head to the Mast. And in whatever\nDirection the Stern of the Vessel is turned, her Head must move the\ncontrary Way, and vice vers\u00e2. Now, the same will happen to a Vessel in the\nWater; if you push her Head in one Direction, her Stern will move in the\nother, and vice vers\u00e2. So that a Vessel under Sail with a Side-wind, may be\ncalled a Lever of the first Kind, both whose Extremities are kept in a\nBallance by the Sails and Rudder; Forces which keep continually acting upon\nher. The Rudder may be considered as a Kind of Moderator, which is to\ninterpose when the Sails which are before the Mast, or those which are\nbehind the Mast, or abaft, overpower each other, and destroy that Ballance\nwhich a Vessel rightly trimmed very near preserves of herself. It must be\nobserved, that the Sails before the Mast of a Vessel, and those behind it,\nact in contrary Directions. Those which are before the Mast turn her Head\nfrom the Wind, and those which are behind it turn her Head towards the\nWind.\n\nBy this Time, we see the Impropriety of letting both the Main-sail and\nFore-sail of a Vessel go, when she strikes upon Ground, and then running to\nher Head in order to push her off: For first, concerning the Article of\ngoing to her Head to push her off, if she is a small Vessel, the Weight of\ntwo or three People at her Head will press that Part, which generally\nhappens to be the Part upon the Shore, still closer down; which is a Thing\nso well known to every Waterman, that we shall say no more about that. Now,\nas to letting both the Sails go, they might with as much Propriety both be\nset, for as they act in contrary Directions, they destroy each other's\nForce, if the Vessel is well trimmed; so that a Vessel will come off the\nGround no sooner for letting both the Sails go. The Method that I should\ntake in a Case of that Kind, would be to set the Main-sail and let the\nFore-sail fly, and if that would not do alone, to assist the Main-sail by\npushing at the Windward-side of her Stern with a Sprit, both which Forces\nacting together, namely the Main-sail and the Sprit, would in all\nProbability put her Head about so as to bring it beyond the Point from\nwhich the Wind blows, which Point after I had got her past, I would set the\nFore-sail to the other Tack, and let the Main-sail go; and by that Means,\nthe Fore-sail would put her Head almost round; then the Main-sail might be\nset, and after Sailing back so far as to get quite clear of the Place where\nthe Vessel stuck fast before, she might be tacked about again, and pursue\nher intended Voyage.\n\nI don't presume to say, that this is the very best Method of getting a\nVessel off the Shore; as those who have been used to the Sea may have a\nmore ready Method still: But I do say, that it is a Method which is\nconsonant to the Principles of Mechanics, for which Reason, it may very\nsafely be put in Execution, either at Sea or in fresh Water.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXIX.\n\n    _That planting Aquatics upon Banks in the Fenns, will preserve and\n    strengthen them, so as to render them more able to resist the Force of\n    a Flood._\n\nWhat will be asserted in this Chapter is not the Result of Surmise, but is\nwhat I have been an Eye Witness of. Be it known then unto all those, who\nthink proper to do this Book so much Honour as to give it a Perusal, that\nthe Author is a Fenman: Why should he be ashamed of his Native Country? A\nCountry, where they have Inverted the following Lines of Horace:\n\n  _Omne cum Proteus pecus egit altos_\n                      _Visere Montes:_\n  _Piscium & summ\u00e2 genus h\u00e6sit Ulmo,_\n  _Nota qu\u00e6 sedes fuerat columbis,_\n  _Et superjecto pavid\u00e6 natarunt_\n                      _\u00c6quore Damm\u00e6._\n\nFor here, instead of those Places which were the Habitations of Doves,\nbeing visited by Fish, just the contrary has happened. By the Ingenuity of\nthese People, barren Sands, over which Ships used to ride at Anchor, are\nchanged into pleasant Meadows and rich Inclosures.\n\nHaving now shewn how much of a Fenman we are, it will be proper to return\nto the Subject.\n\nThere can be no Doubt, but that every Attempt which is made to promote the\nImprovement of Agriculture, is highly commendable; and on the other Hand,\nit is the Duty of every one, to endeavour to rectify such of those Attempts\nas he knows, as well from his own Experience, as from the Conversation of\nskilful Engineers, to be erroneous: And we are sorry to say, we are very\nclear that the Scheme of planting Aquatics upon Banks in the Fenns,\nnotwithstanding what has been affirmed about it, is so far from being\nlikely to strengthen such Banks, that it is a certain Way to destroy them.\n\nIn order to make some of our Readers, who live in the high Country,\nsensible of the Truth of what will be here asserted, it will be necessary\nto explain the Nature of Fenn-Draining, which shall be done in as few Words\nas possible.\n\nWater is a Fluid, as has been before observed; and it is the Nature of a\nFluid to be always endeavouring to restore an Equilibrium in it's Parts,\nwhich we may observe by it's restless Motion after the Surface of it is\nmade uneven. It is in order to restore this Equilibrium, that Water rushes\ndown with such Rapidity, from the high Country into the Fenns; where, when\nit has got, the Surface of the whole Country being even, and in general no\nhigher than the Bottom of the adjacent Seas, it remains quiet;\nFenn-Draining, therefore, must be a Work of Art.--Now let us examine into\nthe Principles of this Art.\n\nThe first Thing to be done is, to scour out the Bottoms of the Rivers,\nwhich run through them, from Sand and Filth, and by that Means to make a\ngood Outfall; then to make Banks of Earth on the Sides of those Rivers, to\nprevent, as much as possible, the Water which comes down in a Flood from\noverflowing the Country, as well as to retain such Water as shall be thrown\ninto the Rivers by Engines. It will be needless here to describe the\nMachinery of a Water Engine; it will be sufficient to say, that Drains are\ncut which lead from these Engines to the Rivers, which Drains are banked\nlikewise, and that these Engines, by the Help of the Wind, have a Power of\nDrawing the Water from the Lands which are drowned, into these Drains, till\nthey are quite full, and till the Water has got to a Level which is higher\nthan the Bottom of the adjacent Sea; and by the Principles of Hydrostatics\nis forced to run into the Sea to restore the Equilibrium: It is by the\nStrength of the Banks, the Force of the Engines, and the Goodness of the\nOutfall, that a Fenn must be drained. Now, I affirm that planting Aquatics\nupon Banks in the Fenn will not strengthen them, but destroy them.\n\nAll Vermin in a Fenn are fond of a Bank; it is high Ground, and therefore\ndry and comfortable for them in the Winter, for which Reason they are\nalways full of Moles, and particular Kinds of Rats and Mice, with long\nNoses, call'd Field Mice and Rats, and abundance more Animals, which breed\nincessantly; and make Holes and Burrows through the Banks in all\nDirections. One Kind of these Rats builds his House so commodious, that it\nis worth while to relate the Ingenuity of this little Free Mason: He begins\nby making a Hole in the Top of the Bank, and after a Labyrinth of many\nWindings and Turnings, he finishes all, by making another towards the\nBottom of the Bank close to the Water's Edge; by that Means he extends his\nTerritories from the Top of the Bank to the Bottom, and has a Supply of\nfresh Water, without being seen by the Enemy, who is continually upon the\nWatch for him. Owls, Buzzards, Kites, Ravens, Carrion Crows, and other\nBirds of Prey in the Fenn, always frequent the Banks in the Evening, and if\nthe Grass is kept low by Cattle, they will destroy most of the Vermin upon\nthem.\n\nBut then we must not plant Trees upon them, as they will be the finest\nCover imaginable for those Rats; Trees will not only hide them from the\nSight of the Birds of Prey, but will likewise hinder those Birds from\ndarting down upon them when they have got a Sight of them.\n\nI remember, near eighteen Years ago, several Sorts of Aquatics were planted\nupon the Banks in the Fenns near Thorney-Abbey; the Consequence was, the\nRoots of the Trees served for Timber for the Houses of these Vermin, and\nthe Branches were a Shelter from the Birds of Prey, by which Means they\nwere full of Holes, thro' which the Water used to run back again to the\nLands as fast as the Engines threw it out; for which Reason the Trees were\nordered to be grubbed up, by the principal Engineer.\n\nThere is nothing which strengthens a Bank like a good Covering of Grass,\nclose eat by Cattle; for if once Water penetrates through the outside Coat\nof a Bank, it is not in the Power of Aquatics to hinder it from tearing the\nEarth away with it. If Aquatics are planted any where, they ought to be at\nsome Distance _before_ the Bank, in order to keep the Lash of Water from\nwearing it away.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXX.\n\n    _That those who lived Two Thousand Years ago, were larger than the\n    present Race of Mankind._\n\nWe are obliged to the Poets for this Patagonian System. Their Fictions of\nTitan and Briareus, and the whole Fraternity of Giants, is a Fable which\nconveys a Moral: The Giants, upon attempting to scale the Walls of Heaven\nby heaping Mountains one upon another, are repelled by Jupiter's Thunder,\nmade Prisoners, and bound under those Mountains upon which they made the\nAttempt. The Moral of the Fable is only this, that it is impossible for any\nForce to oppose the Omnipotent. Not to dispute whether the Ancients were of\nOpinion, that at the Creation of the World all the Animals were of a\ngigantic Size, or what might be their Sentiments about that Matter; it is\ncertain that there has been an Opinion among Men, in all Ages, that the\nTime in which they themselves lived, produced Men of less Stature than\nthose who lived some Time before them. This is a Persuasion which the Poets\nall encouraged, as it suited their Purpose; nothing being so great an\nEnchantment, to the Mind of a poetical Reader, as to be struck with the\nMarvellous.\n\nWhen Virgil makes Turnus throw a large Stone at \u00c6neas, he tells us, that it\nwas such a Stone as twelve Men of his degenerate Age could scarce have\ncarried upon their Shoulders.\n\n  _Nec plura effatus, saxum circumspicit ingens:_\n  _Saxum antiquum ingens, campo quod forte jacebat,_\n  _Limes agro positus litem ut discerneret arvis._\n  _Vix illud lecti bis sex cervice subirent,_\n  _Qualia nunc hominum producit corpora tellus._\n\nA Person who reads this Passage, and really believes that Men were larger\nin \u00c6neas' Time than in Virgil's, reasons thus with himself: \"The Works of\nNature degenerate: Those who lived in \u00c6neas's Time, were larger than those\nwho lived in Virgil's; and those who lived in the Time of Virgil, were\nlarger than those who live now.\"\n\nWith regard to those who lived in \u00c6neas's Time, we cannot indeed have any\npositive Proof to the contrary; but it is not impossible to prove, that the\ngenerality of those Romans who lived in Virgil's Time, were not so tall as\nthe present Inhabitants of Great Britain are at this Day.\n\nThe English in general are a tall People; we are obliged to a Mixture of\nSaxons and Danes for our Stature. A curious Observer may discover a great\ndeal of the Dane in many of the English, not only from their Names, but\nlikewise from their Features and Complexions. Those People who have\nstraight Hair between a white and a red, and have fine Skins, but withall a\nfierce Countenance, seem to be of Danish Extraction. It is not difficult,\nneither, to trace the Saxon in many of our Nation; such as are tall and\nlusty, and of a peaceable and quiet Demeanor till they are provoked, and\nwith nothing very brisk in their Countenances, seem to have had Saxon\nAncestors. Not to dwell long upon this, as it is certain that England has\nbeen over-run by the Danes and Saxons (whom it would be prudent not to\nspeak ill of, lest we should abuse some of our own Relations) we will\nreturn to our Subject.\n\nThere is no Cause to apprehend that the Works of Nature degenerate in the\nleast, as it is a Supposition which is repugnant to all the Observations\nwhich may be made upon the Generation of Animals. Any one who has bred\nHorses, Dogs, or Poultry, must have observed, that instead of degenerating,\nthey always improve upon his Hands, unless he opposes Nature, which seems\nto struggle hard against a Stagnation, by confining the Breed too long in\nthe same Family.\n\nWe have two Reasons, then, to suppose that the present Inhabitants of Great\nBritain are larger in Stature than the old Romans were, viz. because they\nare the Posterity of a taller People, and because the Breed is so much\ncrossed.\n\nBut we beg Leave to offer a Reason why it may be apprehended that the\nAncients were not larger in Stature than the Moderns, which seems to carry\nalong with it something which has very much the Air of a Proof.\n\nWhoever observes the Size of the Remains of those People who lived in the\nTime of the old Romans, or before that Time, will find, that they are no\nlarger in their Dimensions than the Remains of those who died fifty Years\nago. I have seen Abundance of Stone Coffins, which, as they are found in a\nPlace which has all the manifest Signs of having been a Roman Camp, both in\nrespect of it's advantageous Situation, the Name of the present Town, which\nis Caster, the Roman Coin which is constantly found there, the Urns in\nwhich the Coin is found, the Inscriptions cut in Cedar in the Coffins, the\nStones of a Bridge, which may be felt with a Sprit, at the Bottom of the\nRiver, at the Back of an Enclosure, which is called the Castle Ground to\nthis Day; all these are Indications of a Roman Camp, and may be seen near\nthe great North Road between Stilton and Stamford; where the Curious, by a\nproper Application, may have a Pocket full of Roman Coin for a Shilling.\nIndeed, whether these Stone Coffins, which are found in this Camp,\ncontained the Bodies of Romans, no one can positively determine, especially\nas the Romans generally burnt their Dead, if they had a convenient\nOpportunity: However, as they are found in a Roman Camp, upon the same Spot\nwhere the Coin is found, it is enough to make one think that they are Roman\nCoffins, and that the Romans did sometimes bury their Dead; nevertheless,\nwe leave that to the Determination of the Curious.--Of whatever Nation\ntheir Contents were, the Marks of great Antiquity are strong upon them; and\nwe can assure the Reader, that none of them were ever troubled with Remains\nof a Patagonian.\n\nBut these are not the only Reliques by which we may form our Judgments;\nnumberless Libraries and Repositories in this Kingdom afford us Instances\nof the Size of the Ancients: We have several Egyptian Mummies which seem to\nbe of very ancient Standing, and must have contained the Bodies of Men of\nless Stature than the present English.\n\nUpon the whole, then, we have just Cause to conclude, that in all Ages of\nthe World, the Egyptians and Romans were in general of the same Size with\nthe present Inhabitants of those Countries.\n\nIt must nevertheless be allowed, that Luxury and Debauchery, which are the\nConcomitants of Wealth, do very much tend to decrease the Stature of the\nInhabitants of those Cities which have long continued in that State. To\nwhich we may apply this Philosophical Maxim, _When any Thing is so small as\nto be of no Consequence to the Point in Hand, it is considered as Nothing_.\nThose Cities which have acquired so much Wealth as to be able to commit\nsuch Excesses, are inconsiderable when compared to the Inhabitants of the\nwhole Earth, therefore they are to be considered as nothing.\n\nBesides, so great is the Caprice of Fortune, that even the most powerful\nState in the Universe, cannot presume to declare how soon a Period may be\nput to its Grandeur. But having said something upon this Subject before, we\nshall proceed to another Error.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXI.\n\n    _That Bleeding in May will preserve the Constitution against Illness\n    during the ensuing Summer._\n\nThis Hereditary Whim has long been practised in many genteel Families in\nEngland.\n\nWithout consulting any of the Faculty, whose Blood is too thick, or whose\ntoo thin, who have got too much Blood in their Veins, or who too little,\nthey send for some Six-penny Bleeder, who performs this Operation upon the\nwhole Family every Year, on May-day in the Morning.\n\nNot to examine into the Causes of Mortality in May, leaving that Task to\nthose who are able to assign them, it will be sufficient to remark, that\nthe weekly Bills generally contain more Deaths in May than in any Month\nthroughout the whole Year.\n\nWe are sure to have a Fortnight of unwholesome agueish Weather in May; and\none would think, that the common Proverbs which are made use of in the\nCountry to that purpose, would be sufficient to deter a Person from losing\nany Blood at that Season of the Year.\n\nIt is not impossible, but the Preposessions which we have in Favour of the\nCharms of this Month, may proceed from a Perusal of the Latin Poets, or\ntheir Translators; whose Works are full of the various Beauties of the\nSpring. And very possibly, in Italy, where these Poets lived, that Part of\nthe Spring may be pleasant and wholesome.\n\nIn England, we are all of us very sensible of the cold and wet Weather,\nwhich generally happens in this Month. And for my own Part, I must confess,\nthat I think May not only the most dangerous, but likewise, upon the whole,\nthe most disagreeable Part of the Year; and am quite certain, that if I was\nto be let Blood on May-day, I should have the Ague.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXII.\n\n    _That Negroes are not a Part of the Human Species._\n\nThis is a Creolian Error, imbibed partly by the Prejudice of Education, and\npartly by the compleat Slavery which these poor Wretches are so unfortunate\nas to undergo. The passive Appearance of these unhappy People at their\nWork, which sometimes resembles that of a Horse in a Mill, gives Master\nTommy Sugar-Cane an Idea, which is the Cause of an Opinion, that a Negroe\nis Part of the Brute Creation, and therefore ought to be thrashed.\n\nBut indeed, Master Tommy, if I had the Care of thy Education, I would teach\nthee a more reasonable Way of Thinking.\n\nYoung Gentleman, you ought to consider that the Works of Nature are neither\nbetter nor worse either for your Approbation or Disapprobation of them.\nThat Black is as good a Colour as White in itself; and that the Effect\nwhich particular Rays of Light have upon your Eye, is by no Means to\ndetermine the Beauty or Proportion of any Part of the Creation: And though\nyour faithful Negroe does appear rude and uncultivated, that is owing to\nhis Want of Education. Let him have Instructions in Music, you will find\nthat his Genius is greater than your own; teach him to fence, his Activity\nand Stratagem will surprize you. In short, instruct him in any Science, and\nhe will discover a Capacity.\n\nTherefore, if you have read Mr. Locke, (and if you have not, I would advise\nyou to fit out one of your Ships and make a Voyage in Quest of him) Mr.\nLocke will tell you, that _it is the Understanding that sets Man above the\nrest of sensible Beings, and gives him all the Advantage and Dominion which\nhe has over them_. And in another Place the same Author will tell you, that\nit is a wrong Connection of Ideas which is the great Cause of Errors: These\nare his Words, _This wrong Connection in our Minds of Ideas, in themselves\nloose and independent one of another, has such an Influence, and is of so\ngreat Force to set us awry in our Actions, as well moral as natural\nPassions, Reasonings, and Notions themselves; that perhaps there is not any\none Thing that deserves more to be looked after_. This is the very Case\nwith Master Tommy Sugar-Cane; a wrong Connection of Ideas have lead him\ninto this Error, concerning his poor Negroe; he has connected the Ideas of\nHorse, Slave, and Negroe, so strongly together in his Mind, that it is not\nin his Power to separate them again. And I am credibly informed by those\nwho understand it, that there is as much Pleasure in whipping a Negroe, as\nin driving a Ph\u00e6ton and Pair.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXIII.\n\n    _That Negroes are the Descendants of Cain, and that the Colour of their\n    Skins is that Mark which was set upon Cain after killing Abel._\n\nThis is a very pretty ingenious Thought of some one, who was doubtless in\nlove with his own Complexion. I have heard it affirmed by some with such\nWarmth, that it seemed in vain to reason with them about it.\n\nBefore we can have any Grounds for such an Affirmation, it will be\nnecessary to prove that it is a Disgrace to have a dark Complexion; for, if\nit is no Disgrace to have a dark Complexion, then there can be no Badge or\nMark of Infamy in being black; if it is a Disgrace to have a dark\nComplexion, then the Way of Reasoning must be this: The Irish and Scotch\nhaving fine Skins, are better than the English; the English and French,\nthan the Italians and Spaniards; the Italians and Spaniards, than the\nAlgerines; and so on, till we come to the Line. To me, this seems so\nabsurd, that I must beg Leave to quit the Subject, till some one has\nconvinced me, that a white Horse is better than a black one.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXIV.\n\n    _That Love is nothing but Concupiscence to a high Degree, or that Love\n    and Lust are the same Thing._\n\nLove is a Passion, which, though we read of it in the Classics, is but\nseldom experienced in these Northern Climates.\n\nI never met with a North-countryman who would allow that there is any\nDifference between Love and Lust, and even in the Southern Parts of the\nKingdom it is but slightly felt; what little we have of it in England,\nserves only to make Diversion for the Girls, one among another, and does\nnot often produce any Thing of bad Consequence. But in Southern Climes the\nEffects of it are violent, as well as much more frequent. The desperate\nActions which our Tragedies are full of, will appear more natural, if we\nconsider what Country we are in during the Time of the Play.\n\nIn England, we should esteem a Person, who killed himself for the Love of\none of inferior Birth and Fortune, but a very silly Fellow; whereas in\nSpain or in Italy, to fall upon a Sword for a beautiful Woman, is looked\nupon as a certain Indication of a great Soul, and as a Proof that the Heart\nof the Enamoured was possessed of a Sentiment unknown to the Minds of the\nVulgar. Not to dwell upon the many Instances, which have happened both\namong the Ancients and Moderns, of People who have died for Love, I shall\njust make a little Enquiry into the Nature of that Disorder, for so it may\nbe called, since it sometimes proves fatal.\n\nThat Affection which is called Love, seems to be a Fever, not only in the\nMind, but an actual Fever, attended with the Symptoms of that Disorder; and\ndiffers from all others in this Particular, it is what no Physic can cure.\nThe Symptoms of it are much like those of that Distemper, which the\nEast-Indians sometimes die of, when they pine for their native Country.\n\nIf this is the Case, Love is so far from being another Term for Lust, that\nit rather opposes that Desire, which is generally the Concomitant of\nHealth.\n\nThe Heart is capable of a Wound from this little mischievous Urchin, before\nMaturity arrives; for the Truth of which I appeal to every one who has\nSensibility enough, to be capable of receiving the Impression of Love,\nwhether he never found himself electrified by a fine Lady, when he was\nabout the Age of thirteen.\n\nTo conclude: If I hear a Person very positive that Love and Lust are the\nsame Thing, I take it for granted, that his Nerves are so coarse and\ncallous, that nothing less than the Stroke of a Blacksmith's Hammer can\npossibly have any Effect upon him.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXV.\n\n    _That the Hedge-Hog is a mischievous Animal; and particularly, that he\n    sucks Cows, when they are asleep in the Night, and causes their Teats\n    to be sore._\n\nThe Antipathy which People have taken against this Animal, is chiefly owing\nto his Form. He is ugly and clumsy, and, not being able to run away, like\nmost other Animals, is forced to have Recourse to his natural Armour,\nwhich, though it is merely defensive, is apt to disgust those, who cannot\nsatisfy their Curiosity about him; as there is nothing to be seen but a\nround Ball of sharp-pointed Bristles, till he is put into Water, and then\nhe is forced to open himself and swim.\n\nBy the bye, some Naturalists have affirmed, that he is like the Porcupine;\nbut that, we can assure the Reader, is a Mistake. A Porcupine is as large\nas ten Hedge-Hogs; besides, there is not the least Resemblance in the Form\nof the Animals, or in their Manner of Defence. The Hedge-Hog, upon being\ndiscovered, lies quite still, and depends upon the Impenetrability of his\nArmour for Safety; whereas the Porcupine is tolerably swift, and is not\nable to conceal himself under his Quills, as they do not cover above half\nhis Back. When he is pursued he makes a full Stop, and has the Power of\ndrawing up the whole Body of his Quills, so as to dart them all together\ninto any one who attacks him; and in all Probability he will leave one or\ntwo in your Legs, if you go too near him, and make him angry, which is very\nsoon done. I once saw a Stick put to a Porcupine, and he broke two or three\nof his Quills against the Stick, though they are very hard and tough. Some\nsay, that the Quills of a Porcupine are of a poisonous Nature. But, begging\nPardon for this Digression about the Porcupine, we will return to the Error\nwhich was mentioned, concerning the Hedge-Hog.\n\nIt may be observed in the Works of Nature, that all Animals, of whatsoever\nKind they are, whether they come under the Denomination of Birds,\nQuadrupeds, Reptiles, or Fishes, are provided with such Organs and Weapons\nas are convenient for the procuring of their Sustenance, as well as such as\nare formed for their Self-Defence.\n\nThe Lion _roaring after his Prey_, has Weapons proper for the vanquishing\nand devouring that Prey.\n\nThe Bull, whose principal Food is Grass, is provided with Armour round his\nTongue and Nostrils, which is Proof against the Thistles and venomous\nInsects that make a Part of his coarse Diet.\n\nThe Monkey is possessed of Hands for selecting the eatable Parts of his\nNuts and Fruit from the poisonous Rind.\n\nThe Hawk is furnished with long Wings for pursuing, keen Eyes for\ndiscerning, and sharp Talons for taking the granivorous Birds, which are\nhis Prey; whilst they are provided with Beaks of a proper Shape for picking\nup the Corn, as well as Gizzards, or strong Muscles, which, by the Help of\nGravel Stones, that are contained in them, grind the separate Grains of\nCorn, as they are discharged from the Crop, out of which they proceed\ngradually.\n\nThe numberless Instances of this Kind which might be brought, are too\ntedious to mention here; it will be sufficient to remark, that there is no\nsuch Monster to be found in the Creation, as an Animal with Weapons and\nImplements improper for the Acquisition of that Food which is to be the\nSupport of its Life, or unfurnished with such a Means of Defence, as is\nmost suitable to its Self-preservation.\n\nThe Hedge-Hog is a peculiar Instance of this: As he is rather slow of Foot,\nif he should happen to be surprized in his Travels, he can gather himself\nup into a Coat of Mail, which answers two Ends; as it is a _Deceptio\nVisus_, looking like a Clot covered with dried Grass; and as it consists of\nsharp Spikes upon a thick Skin, which serve both for a Sword and Target,\neither to secure him against the Tread of a Horse, or the Assaults of Dogs\nand Hawks. Then as his Habitation is in Hedges, he has a Mouth formed for\nthe Reception of Hips, Haws, and Sloes, which are his Food; and which,\ndoubtless, he hoards up in some little Repository, known only to himself.\nHis Nose is formed to search for Roots near the Surface of the Earth, which\nmust not be very large, otherwise he would be unable to manage them, as his\nMouth is remarkably small, and does not seem capable of containing any\nThing larger than a small Pea; for which Reason we may suppose it not only\nimprobable and unnatural, that the Hedge-Hog should attempt to suck the\nTeats of a Cow, when she is asleep, as it does not seem formed by Nature\nfor such an Operation; but we will endeavour to prove from Hydrostatics,\nthat it would be impossible for him to acquire any Milk at all by such a\nTrial.\n\nIt is certainly true, that the Reason why a Vessel contains Water, or any\nother Fluid, within it's Sides, and hinders it from dispersing, is, because\nthe Pressure of the Air at the Top of the Vessel keeps it down; and it is\nas true, that when the Vessel is turned up side down, the Liquor in it will\nstill be kept in, by the same Pressure of the Air, notwithstanding the\nForce of Gravity, provided the Surface of the Water is not disturbed in\nturning the Vessel; which may be easily proved by the Experiment of a\nDrinking-Glass and a Piece of Paper. It is upon this Principle, that the\nMilk in the Dug of an Animal, is kept in it's proper Place, and does not\nfall to the Ground; though it must be acknowledged, that there may be some\nother Causes assigned likewise.\n\nNow if a Vessel of Water is put into an Air Pump, as soon as the Air is\nextracted from the Receiver, in which the Vessel stands, the Water\nimmediately ascends up out of the Vessel, and overflows the Brim, the Air,\nwhich was the Cause of it's being kept down, being removed.\n\nThis is the Case with an Animal which gives Suck. The Teat is close\nembraced round by the Mouth of the young one, so that no Air can pass\nbetween: A Vacuum is made, or the Air is exhausted from it's Throat, by a\nPower in the Lungs; nevertheless, the Pressure of the Air remains still\nupon the Outside of the Dug of the Mother, and by these two Causes\ntogether, the Milk is forced into the Mouth of the young one.\n\nBut a Hedge-Hog has no such Mouth, as to be able to contain the Teat of a\nCow; therefore any Vacuum, which is caused in it's own Throat, cannot be\ncommunicated to the Milk in the Dug. And if he is able to procure no other\nFood, but what he can get by sucking Cows in the Night, there is likely to\nbe a Vacuum in his Stomach too.\n\nIt may be objected here, that former Legislators have thought proper to\nallow a Reward to be given for killing this Animal, on Account of the\nMischief he has been supposed to do. To which I answer, that former\nLegislators have thought proper to burn old Women, for being Witches, if\nthey would not sink when they were put into a Pond; and I will venture to\naffirm, that there is just as much Sense in burning a Witch, as in setting\na Reward upon a Hedge-Hog.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n                  XXXVI.\n\n    _That a Person is the better or the worse for being of any particular\n    Calling or Profession._\n\nThis Error shall be dressed in a Clerical Habit. But I fear those venerable\nRobes will share the same Fate here, which attends them in other Places;\nthey will give a double Force to the Mistakes and Failings of the Wearer.\n\nLuke XVIII. Verses the xth, xith, xiith, and xiiith. _Two men went up into\nthe temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The\nPharisee stood and prayed thus with himself; God, I thank thee, that I am\nnot as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this\npublican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.\nAnd the_ _publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his\neyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me\na sinner._\n\nThe Oriental Teachers thought proper to convey their Doctrines of Morality\nin Parable. Doubtless, the Method is plain and easy to be understood;\nelegantly shewing us the Truth, whilst we cannot help confessing that we\ndiscern it, and this without giving much Disgust by laying open the Foibles\nof any Party; it is capable of comprehending all the Figures of Poetry and\nRhetoric, and these Figures are the least liable to be detected, whilst\nthey are clothed in the Disguise of Parable, which must be allowed to be a\ngreat Advantage; _Artis est celare artem_ holds good in this Case, as well\nas in others. And if one Person has an Inclination to bring another to his\nWay of Thinking, he must endeavour to be as plain and simple in his Manner\nas possible, for this Method alone carries with it the Appearance of Truth;\nwhether we argue on the right Side of the Question, or on the wrong, this\nMethod of Proceeding will hold good in some Measure; but especially, if we\nwant to instil true Principles of sound Morality, it has a double Force.\nOur Blessed Saviour, doubtless, for this Reason thought proper to deliver\nhis Doctrines of Morality in this convincing, self-evident Dialect; he saw\nplainly that the Cabalistical Stile of the Pharisees, was by no Means a\nLanguage proper to convey new and wholesome Precepts into the Minds of the\nVulgar. No: He chose rather to make Use of this compact and intelligible\nMethod of inculcating his Precepts, namely Parable. We have no greater\nInstance of his Skill, than this of the Pharisee and Publican.\n\nIn the Handling of this Subject, we shall consider the Human Species in\ndifferent Lights; as a reasoning philosophizing Animal, who thinks he has a\nright to enquire into the Phoenomena of Nature, and to make Use of that\nRight, and of those Senses, which God has given him; and as a Person, who\nis forced to submit to the the superior Judgment of other Men, and takes\nThings for granted as he is told them. The first of these is what we\ngenerally understand when we say Men of Science, Men of Learning, Men of\nregular Education, and the like. These may be ranged into Variety of\ndifferent Orders and Ranks, in regard to their different Professions,\nStudies, Turns of Genius, Amusements, Abilities, Applications, &c.\n\nWe may with Propriety reduce all these different Sentiments concerning\nMankind, into two Branches; namely, Men of Business, and Men of Recreation\nor Pleasure.\n\nOf those who come under the Denomination of Men of Business, each one is\napt to think himself of that Order which is most respectable. For Instance,\none who professes the Law, may know that Mankind is apt to tax him with\nInjustice and Dishonesty, but that, he comforts himself, is of no great\nSignification; for what amongst the Vulgar is stiled Dishonest, among\nPeople of Fashion, would be palliated by the agreeable Name of exquisite\nAddress. And so he makes himself very easy about what vulgar Imputations\nmay be laid to his Charge by the Mob, so long as he has the Gentry on his\nSide. And they too may tax him with Dishonesty if they please, but he makes\nno Doubt but he shall soon have some of them applying to him for Justice,\nas all Causes must go through the Hands of those of his Profession; and he\ndoes not see but Things are determined fairly enough in the End. In short,\nhe concludes with thinking, that his Profession is as useful as any other,\n(and in that perhaps he may be right) and that it is profitable, and of\ngreat Importance, and therefore, that the Sons of the Robe may justly be\nsaid to be more honourable.\n\nThe Physician is of another Way of Thinking. He knows full well, that\nHealth is of more Consequence than Riches, for (says he) what Pleasure can\na Man have from a great Estate, if he has not Health to enjoy it? The\nLawyer may out talk him perhaps, but he thinks he has saved more Lives, at\na much cheaper Rate than the other has recovered Estates in Chancery. They\nmay make light of his Art, but he is certain likewise, that they will all\nstand in Need of his Skill sometime or other; and therefore thinks, on\nAccount of the Importance of his Profession, that the Sons of Galen are\nmost honourable.\n\nThe Philosopher differs from them both. He thinks, that all that is wrote\nupon Parchment must treat of something very trifling, with Respect to what\nhe is concerned in. It may be, says he, that this Parchment may contain\nsome Conveyance of some small Tract of Land, belonging to some one private\nPerson; but what is that? he has just been taking Measure of the whole\nEarth. He thinks that Physic may have Merit in it's Way; for a Man skilled\nin Physic may preserve the Life of an Animal who inhabits the Globe; but\nwhat is this to what he has been contriving of? He has been taking Care of\nthe Health of the Universe; he has discovered a Comet, and has been\ncalculating how near it will approach to the Earth's Orbit; he has been\nsettling the Degrees of Heat it contains, at such and such Distances, and\nwhat Danger we should all be in, of being totally demolished, if it was to\napproach but a small Distance nearer; he has been finding out the Situation\nof the Polar Stars, that Navigators may sail in an unknown Sea without\nDanger; he has been fixing the exact Limit of the Trade Winds, where they\nmay be certain of being blown Home again safe. He thinks these are Matters\nof a high Nature, much beyond any Thing else, and therefore, that his\nProfession is of the highest Importance. Three Professions have been\nmentioned, every one of which is apt to think his own Order of the greatest\nConsequence. We should find it exactly the same, if we were to take a\nSurvey of the inferior Trades, and mechanical Men.\n\nThose likewise, who think proper to devote their Time to Amusements, if we\nexamine into their Behaviour, we shall find them, in general, no less\npartial to their own Taste than the Men of Business; which we shall easily\ndiscern, if we make Observations at any Public Place, where many of this\nKind resort to. Gentlemen who are fond of Play, most heartily despise all\nthe Noises that can be made upon Instruments, all the Daubings which can be\nsmeared upon Canvass, and all the Nonsense that can he crammed into Books.\nThe only Music that can give them any Pleasure, is the rattling and\nspirited Sound of the all-hazardous Dice-Box; the only Paintings which can\nstrike them, must be drawn at full Length, upon the mercenary Card-Table;\nthe only Books which, in their Opinion, contain any Sense in them, are\nthose which treat upon the noble Science of Gaming.\n\nThe Sportsman wonders what any Body can see in London, or in those\nmake-shift Entertainments which are contrived to pass Time away in Town; he\ncannot bear to sit fretting over a Card Table. The only Music that delights\nhim, is the chearing Sensation which he perceives, when he is awaked from\nSleep, by the confused Harmony which pierces his Ear, from the shrill\nThroats of his never-erring Hounds, impatient for the glorious Fatigue (as\nhe calls it) of the ensuing Day; which he follows at the Hazard of his\nLife, over Dangers of Mountains, and Woods, and Rivers, and craggy Cliffs,\nand returns Home well pleased and happy with the Thoughts of his Exploits:\nWhilst the London Citizen prefers his Armed-chair, and a good Fire, and the\nDaily Advertiser; and sneers at all the others for senseless Wretches,\nbecause they don't understand the Rules of Principal and Interest.--All\nthese Examples may serve to shew, how wrapt-up Men are in their particular\nEngagements of Business and Pleasure, and how in love they are with their\nown Opinions: So in love with them, that they cannot look upon the\nSentiments of others with common Charity.\n\nWe all think ourselves of the highest Importance, and that there would no\nexisting without us; how this comes to pass shall be next enquired into, by\nreturning to the Matter of different Professions. We behave with regard to\nour public Professions, in this Respect, just as we do in our private\nCharacters: As we can easily discern the Vices of other Men, and forget our\nown, so it happens in the present Case; we can easily discern the Advantage\nwhich the Public reaps from our own Profession, but it is with great\nDifficulty that we are brought to examinine what Use we ourselves derive\nfrom that of another. This was the very Case with the Pharisee in the Text;\nhe stood, and prayed and said, _God, I thank thee, that I am not as other\nmen are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican_. He\npayed Tithes of all that he possessed. And what great Merit was there in\nthat? If he had not thought proper to pay Tithes of his own Accord, no\nDoubt, there was as much Law to compel him in those Times as in these; but\nthe Misfortune is, this Pharisee was under the same Mistake which Pharisees\nin all Ages labour under, he could see plain enough into what he thought\nhis own private Qualifications, but could not discern the Use which the\nPublic reaped from his Companion. The Publican on the other Hand did not so\nmuch as lift up his Eyes to Heaven, but smote his Breast, and said, _God be\nmerciful to me a sinner_. He acknowledged that he was of a Profession\nwhich, however necessary it might be in itself, nevertheless brought upon\nhim the Odium of his Countrymen, and which made him liable to many\nIrregularities in his Behaviour, made him forced to be guilty of many\nExtortions from the poorer Sort of People; he confessed that his Profession\ndid necessarily bring all these Sins upon him, for which he then implored\nForgiveness. _I tell you_, says our Saviour, _this man went down to his\nhouse justified rather than the other_. But what Reason can be given, why\nthe Pharisee should not be justified? It might be said, that the Pharisee\nwas conscious to himself of living according to the Laws of his Country,\nand of doing his Duty, and that he thought it incumbent upon him to return\nThanks to the Maker of all Things, for giving him such good Inclinations,\nand for putting it into his Power to make a good Use of them.\n\nThis would be very charitable Reasoning, if one could be brought to\nbelieve, that the Pharisee was really such a Sort of a Man as he pretended\nto be; but it is sufficiently evident, by the Stile and Manner of the\nParable, that this Pharisee was intended to be like other Pharisees in all\nTimes: he would be thought to be much better than he really was, and had\nworked himself up to such a high Pitch of Pride and Self-Conceit, as to\nboast of his supposed Qualifications even to his Maker.\n\nDoubtless this excellent Parable strikes at the very Root of all Hypocrisy,\nand vain-glorious outside Shew. For here was the Publican, very probably a\nmuch better Man than the Pharisee, who had neither imbibed such high\nNotions of his own Worth, nor pretended to any such fine Qualifications; he\nvery willingly acknowledged his Faults, and with the greatest Modesty and\nDiffidence of himself, that high Recommendation both in the Eyes of God and\nMan, did not even think himself worthy to look up to Heaven, but smote upon\nhis Breast and said, _God be merciful to me a sinner_.\n\nWhat has been said may serve to shew the excellent Morality, which these\nParables of our Saviour's contained; they contained such Sort of Lessons as\nmust be useful, so long as the World exists; for there will always be such\nPharisees as are here mentioned by our Saviour, and to whom, in another\nPlace, he repeats the Words, _Wo unto you scribes and Pharisees,\nhypocrites_, so often. Isaiah says, Chap. ix. ver. 20, 21. _Wo unto them\nthat call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light\nfor darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and_ _sweet for bitter! Wo unto\nthem that are wise in their own Eyes and prudent in their own Sight!_\n\nOur Saviour did not mean to aim with the Force of his Doctrine at Publicans\nand Pharisees alone, his Doctrine was of an Universal Nature: And we must\nnot suppose that could ever be his Intention; and lest future Ages should\nhereafter make such a Mistake, the Evangelist has given us his Opinion what\nhe thought our Saviour intended by this Parable. _He spake this Parable_,\nsays St. Luke, _unto those which trusted in themselves that they were\nrighteous, and despised others_.\n\nHere it must be observed, that though our Saviour was pleased to say, that\n_the Publican went down to his House justified_ rather _than the Pharisee_,\nyet he by no Means sets either of them as a Pattern for our Example. We\nmust not therefore misunderstand this Passage so dangerously as to think,\nthat if we be but modest, we may be guilty of what enormous Vices we think\nproper, because that would be giving the Words of our Saviour a wrong\nInterpretation. A middle Character, between these two Extremes, is rather\nto be aimed at. It is to be wished, that we could so navigate ourselves\nthrough the dangerous Rocks and Quicksands of Land, as to avoid both the\nSins of the Publican, and the vain-glorious Boasting of the Pharisee: And\nby that Means, we shall be enabled without Fear, to sail through the dark\nSea of Death, even into the Regions of Eternity, where the Gates of Hell\nshall not prevail against us.\n\n                  _FINIS._\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n\n              ERRATA.\n\n  Page 54, instead of _Conis_ read _Canis_.\n       72, instead of _Boatman's_ read _Boatswain's_.\n       91, instead of _the_ read _their_.\n       ditto, instead of _amazed_ read _amused_.\n      110, instead of _lighter_ read _higher_.\n      165, instead of _jabebat_ read _jacebat_.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n\n              NOTES\n\n[1]\n\n  What are these Masks? Hear you me, Jessica,\n  Lock up my Doors, and when you hear the Drum,\n  And the vile Squeaking of the Wry-neck'd Fife, &c.\n\n[2]\n\n  Rusticus expectat dum defluat amnis.","title":"A New Catalogue of Vulgar Errors","tradition":"folklore-oral-tradition","translated_text":null,"word_count":33975}