{"collection":"myth-cosmogony","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_52059/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_52059","id":"gutenberg_52059","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52059","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Humour","Category: Mythology, Legends & Folklore","Category: Sexuality & Erotica","Erotic fiction","Sex customs -- Fiction"],"text":"Two Hundred and fifty Copies of this Work have\n              been Printed on Hand-made Paper for Private\n                 Circulation Only among Members of the\n                Brovan Society, and Twenty-five for the\n                   Editors. None of these Copies is\n                     for Sale. The Society Pledges\n                    itself Never to Reprint nor to\n                       Re-issue in any form. Of\n                         the Brovan Society\u2019s\n                          Issue, this Copy is\n                               Number:\n\n\n\n\n                       _ANTHOLOGICA RARISSIMA._\n\n\n                              VOLUME ONE:\n\n                         THE WAY OF A VIRGIN.\n\n\n\n\n                        Anthologica Rarissima:\n\n\n            Being Excerpts from Rare, Curious and Diverting\n             Books, some now for the First Time done into\n                  English. To which are added Copious\n                  Explanatory Notes & Bibliographical\n                  References of Interest to Student,\n                      Collector and Psychologist:\n                         the Whole Introduced,\n                           Compiled & Edited\n                             by L. and C.\n                                BROVAN.\n\n\n                         [Illustration: Leaf]\n\n\n                           VOLUME THE FIRST:\n\n                         The Way of a Virgin.\n\n\n                     LONDON: MCMXXII. Printed for\n                   Members of the BROVAN SOCIETY by\n        Private Subscription and for Private Circulation Only.\n\n\n\n\nFOREWORD.\n\n\nWith the publication of its _Records_, under the title of _ANTHOLOGICA\nRARISSIMA_, the _Brovan Society_, which has been formed to carry out\nresearch work into the less-known and more curious folk-lore and\nliterature of Europe and the Orient, takes leave to explain its aims\nand aspirations.\n\nThere exists in the literature of all countries a multitude of books\nnot usually accorded public circulation. Yet these books contain some\nof the most life-like and diverting material ever fashioned by human\npen. Their contents have stood the test of time and taste, and to-day,\nthough publicly ignored, they are privately applauded. The trend of\nthese books is, in the main, erotic, or so frank as to relegate them\nto the category of improper or \u201cprivately printed.\u201d Some have never\ncome under the hands of an English translator: others in such limited\neditions as to make their existence negligible so far as the average\nstudent is concerned.\n\n_Anthologica Rarissima_ is a modest attempt to remedy this state of\naffairs. In a series of volumes the editors will put before their\nreaders the cream of what is tantamount to a small library, and a\nlibrary not often seen on the book-lover\u2019s shelves. Herein will be\nfound, set out in plain English, curious and diverting extracts from\nsome of the world\u2019s most remarkable works. The text will be literal\nand unexpurgated. Nothing of interest to the student of folk-lore,\npsychology and literature will be omitted or glossed over, for the\neditors believe that a classic castrated is a classic spoilt. The\n_Records_ throughout will be enriched by copious notes and valuable\nbibliographical references.\n\nSo far as the compilers are aware, no similar anthology exists in the\nEnglish tongue. It purports to put within reach of the student and\nbibliophile comprehensive and representative excerpts from writers,\nthe possession of whose works would entail time and expense beyond the\nmeans of many collectors.\n\nAt present it is impossible to give a full list of the authors from\nwhom we shall quote. Mention of such names as those of Sir Richard\nBurton, Casanova, Aretino, the Marquis de Sade, Wilkes, Boccaccio,\nBandello, Masuccio, Straparola, Rabelais, Lucian, Apuleius,\nAristophanes, Sinistrari, Nicolas Chorier, Poggio, J. S. Farmer,\nJohn Payne, La Fontaine, Chaucer, Brant\u00f4me, Sellon, Pisanus Fraxi,\nPayne Knight, Havelock Ellis, Bloch, Huhner, Forel and Kraft-Ebing,\nwill give some idea of the work contemplated. Special attention will\nbe paid to the less-known folk-lore of Europe and the Orient, as\nportrayed in those remarkable books, _Kruptadia_, _Untrodden Fields of\nAnthropology_, _The Kama Sutra_, _The Ananga Ranga_, _The Perfumed\nGarden_, _The Old Man Young Again_, _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_,\n_Ethnology of the Sixth Sense_, _The Book of Exposition_, _Priapeia_,\n_Genital Laws_, _Marriage Ceremonies and Priapic Rites_, and _Des\nDivinit\u00e9s G\u00e9n\u00e9ratrices_.\n\n_Anthologica Rarissima_, for reasons which will seem as regrettable\nas absurd to the student and collector, must ever be a privately\nprinted work; its tone, though erotic, is in no sense pornographic.\nThe extracts have been selected with care, and always with an eye to\nartistry and bibliographical value. The complete issue, extending to\nmany volumes, will form an unique collection in the English tongue of a\ntype of literature far too little known in this country.\n\nThe subject of our first volume--virginity and its treatment in fable,\n_conte_, and legend--is far from exhausted in these pages. It will be\nnecessary to devote another _Record_ to the theme at a later date.\nMeanwhile, we have in preparation Vol. 2: \u201c_The Way of a Priest_,\u201d Vol.\n3: \u201c_The Way of a Wife_,\u201d Vol. 4: \u201c_The Way of a Husband_,\u201d and Vol. 5:\n\u201c_The Way of Love_.\u201d This last, culled from such authorities as Ovid,\nMartial, Catullus, Aretino, Forberg, Veniero, and the authors of _The\nKama Sutra_, _The Perfumed Garden_, and _The Ananga Ranga_, should\nprove the most complete treatise on the _Ars Amandi_ ever published in\nthe English language.\n\nIn conclusion, we can only reiterate what was said at the outset--that\nthis work is the outcome of a project to give the English student and\ncollector the cream of a rare and remarkable literature.\n\nWe wish to lay special emphasis on the literal nature of our text,\nhaving often sacrificed style to preserve it. When translating from\nFrench, where an English translation already existed, we have never\nfailed to compare and work upon the two versions for the composition of\nour extract.\n\n_Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_ is a case in point, the old French text\nand Mr. R. B. Douglas\u2019 English translation both being utilised in our\n_Record_. The same applies to Casanova; each line of his _Memoirs_, as\nexisting in the privately printed English translation, has been closely\ncompared with Garnier\u2019s French text; while Aretino\u2019s _Dialogues_ will\nbe scrutinised in no fewer than three languages. Our aim throughout has\nbeen to put before the reader a rendering in English which most exactly\napproximates to the original work of the author in question.\n\n  _THE EDITORS._\n\n\n\n\nCONTENTS.\n\n\n                                         Page.\n\n  FOREWORD.                                v.\n\n  VIRGINITY AND ITS TRADITIONS.          xix.\n\n  THE ENCHANTED RING:\n\n  _Of a Young Husband who Sought to\n  Redeem his Yard from Pawn, and of the\n  Divers Adventures that Befell him in his\n  Quest._                                   1\n\n  VARIANT:\n\n  _Of a Tailor who Consented to Sin with\n  a certain Woman who Admired his\n  Proportions; and how they Fared._        10\n\n  THE INSTRUMENT:\n\n  _Of a Young Girl who Desired her Lover\n  to Buy a Better Instrument, which she\n  Enjoyed, Lost and Found again._          13\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE INSTRUMENT.            16\n\n  THE TIMOROUS FIANC\u00c9E:\n\n  _Of a Maid who would Wed None save\n  Ivan the No-Yard; and how they were\n  Wed, after which she first Hired, then\n  Bought, a Good Yard from Ivan\u2019s Uncle._  17\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE ENCHANTED RING,\n  THE INSTRUMENT, and THE TIMOROUS\n  FIANC\u00c9E.                                 22\n\n  ADVENTURES WITH HEDVIGE AND\n  HEL\u00c8NE AT GENEVA:\n\n  _Of an Adventure with two Charming\n  Cousins, one of whom Desired to know\n  why a Deity could not Impregnate a\n  Woman; and how the Hero of our Story\n  gave Demonstration of Theological and\n  other Matters._                          24\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to ADVENTURES WITH\n  HEDVIGE AND HEL\u00c8NE.                      37\n\n  THE DAMSEL AND THE PRINCE:\n\n  _Of a Young Lady, who, being Enamoured\n  of a Prince, Sendeth for one of his\n  Chaplains, and with him Entereth into a\n  Plot which Bringeth the Affair to the\n  Desired Issue._                          42\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE DAMSEL AND THE\n  PRINCE.                                  49\n\n  THE PENITENT NUN:\n\n  _Of a Nun, who Strove to Flee the Shafts\n  of Love; how she Succeeded; and how\n  certain Young Nuns Received her\n  Counsel._                                52\n\n  BEYOND THE MARK:\n\n  _Of a Shepherd who Made an Agreement\n  with a Shepherdess that he should Mount\n  upon her; and how he Kept that\n  Agreement._                              53\n\n  THE DEVIL IN HELL:\n\n  _Of a Young Maid, who, Turning Hermit,\n  was Taught by a Monk to Put the Devil\n  in Hell; and how she found Much\n  Pleasure therein._                       56\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE DEVIL IN HELL.         63\n\n  THE WEDDING NIGHT OF JEAN THE\n  FOOL:\n\n  _Of a Young Husband who thought his\n  Wife would Give him a Chicken on their\n  Wedding Night; and how he Learned in\n  what Fashion he must Comport himself\n  to have that Chicken._                   65\n\n  THE MAIDEN WELL GUARDED:\n\n  _Of a Maid who had been most Strictly\n  Enjoined to Guard her Maidenhead; and\n  how a Youth Restored it to her when she\n  Lost it._                                69\n\n  VARIANT:\n\n  _Of one Coypeau, who Securely Sewed\n  up a Damsel\u2019s Maidenhead with his own\n  Thread._                                 72\n\n  TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN:\n\n  _Of a Prince and a Princess who became\n  Acquainted in Strange Circumstances;\n  of their Loves, Separation, Re-union, and\n  divers Remarkable Happenings._           74\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to the TALE OF KAMAR\n  AL-ZAMAN.                                92\n\n  THE FOOL:\n\n  _Of a Young Man who would fain have\n  Wed, yet Contrived to Satisfy his Wish\n  without Marriage._                      101\n\n  \u201cOH MOTHER, ROGER WITH HIS\n  KISSES\u201d:\n\n  _Of the Emotions of an Innocent Virgin\n  when Wooed Boisterously by her Swain._  103\n\n  FOOLISH FEAR:\n\n  _Of a Virgin Wife who did not Understand\n  the Business of Marriage; and how the\n  Parties went to Law, and what Ensued\n  therefrom._                             104\n\n  THE PRINCESS WHO PISSETH OVER\n  THE HAYCOCKS:\n\n  _Of a King\u2019s Daughter, the Like of whom\n  was not Seen Elsewhere on Earth; and\n  how she was Cured of her Ways by a\n  Young Peasant, divers Physicians and\n  Charlatans having Failed in the Task._  111\n\n  THE COMB:\n\n  _Of a Pope\u2019s Daughter who was \u201cCombed\u201d\n  by a Peasant; and how the Comb was\n  Lost and Found again, together with\n  other Strange and Delightsome Happenings._116\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE PRINCESS WHO\n  PISSETH OVER THE HAYCOCKS and\n  THE COMB.                               121\n\n  THE SKIRMISH:\n\n  _Of a Virgin who, on her Marriage Eve,\n  told a Wedded Friend of the Recent and\n  Disturbing Conduct of her Fianc\u00e9._      124\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE SKIRMISH.             132\n\n  THE NIGHTINGALE:\n\n  _Of a Maid who would fain Hear the\n  Nightingale Sing; and how she Made it\n  Sing many Times and even Held it in\n  her Hand._                              134\n\n  THE PIKE\u2019S HEAD:\n\n  _Of a Young Virgin who Played a Trick\n  on a Youth; and how the Youth, from\n  Fear of being \u201cBitten,\u201d was for some\n  Time Ignorant of the Pleasures of\n  Marriage._                              142\n\n  THE LOVELY NUN AND HER YOUNG\n  BOARDER:\n\n  _Of a Lovely Young Virgin, who was of\n  an Inquisitive Turn of Mind, and Proved\n  herself an Apt Pupil in the School of\n  Love._                                  147\n\n  JOHN AND JOAN:\n\n  _Of a Serving Wench who sent her Fellow\n  Servant to Buy her a Steel; and how\n  she Fared thereafter._                  158\n\n  THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR:\n\n  _Of a Young Squire who, when he Married,\n  had never Mounted a Christian Creature;\n  of the Means found to Instruct him; and\n  how, on a Sudden, he Wept at a great\n  Feast shortly after he had been Instructed._162\n\n  THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER:\n\n  _Of a Priest\u2019s two Daughters who were\n  Tricked by a Labourer; and of divers\n  Strange and Diverting Happenings\n  thereafter._                            171\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE PRIEST AND THE\n  LABOURER.                               178\n\n  THE TWO LOVERS AND THE TWO\n  SISTERS:\n\n  _Of two Cavaliers who became Enamoured\n  of two Sisters; and how they found\n  Enjoyment of their Love, albeit in Strange\n  Fashion but none the less Pleasant._    179\n\n  THE BURNING YARD:\n\n  _Of a Maid who would not Suffer a Youth\n  to Pleasure her, since, so she Alleged,\n  he had a Burning Yard._                 188\n\n  TAKE TIME BY THE FORELOCK:\n\n  _Of a Young Virgin Wife who was Paid\n  back in her own Coin by her Husband._   190\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to TAKE TIME BY THE\n  FORELOCK.                               192\n\n  FIRST MEETING BETWEEN A YOUTH\n  AND HIS FIANC\u00c9E:\n\n  _Of a Maid and a Youth who held Pleasant\n  Converse in a Coach-house; and of\n  divers Experiments and Discoveries they\n  made there._                            193\n\n  THE BREAKER OF EGGS:\n\n  _Of a certain Wench who had Eggs in her\n  Belly, which were Broken for her by an\n  Obliging Youth._      195\n\n  _EXCURSUS_ to THE BREAKER OF EGGS.      198\n\n\n\n\nVIRGINITY AND ITS TRADITIONS.\n\n\n\n\n    _Chloe! Like a fawn she flees,\n          Trembling, timid mother-seeking,\n                Far among the trackless hills;\n    Starting back from bush and breeze,\n          When the new-born spring is speaking\n                To green leaves in little trills.\n    Oh, how shake her heart, her knees!\n          Run! A lizard sets a-creaking\n                That big bush! I bring no ills;\n    I don\u2019t follow you to seize,\n          Like some cruel tigress, reeking\n                Rage; no lion I that kills\n    In G\u00e6tulia, hot to tease\n          Out your life! So quit your meeking\n                By your mother! Trust your thrills!\n    Come and learn my mysteries!_\n\n                                   HORACE, I., xxiii.\n\n\n\n\nVIRGINITY AND ITS TRADITIONS.\n\n\nIn devoting a volume to the romance and folk-lore of Virginity, it may\nnot be inappropriate first to examine the psychology of a word and a\nquality as magical as they are misused.\n\nWhat is virginity? Is it the possession intact of that delicate\npiece of membrane, the poets\u2019 \u2018_flos virginitatis_,\u2019 or is it some\nindescribable, intangible attribute in no sense dependent on physical\nperfection? Does it imply abstention from and ignorance of all sexual\npleasures, or must it be a chastity which falls little short of stupid,\neven criminal, innocence?\n\nTo us moderns, blessed (or cursed) with a smattering of science, woman\nis virginal just as long as we know or believe her to be, physical\nqualities notwithstanding. By the poet of the past, the romanticist,\nthe medi\u00e6val lover, and the ignorant, physical as well as spiritual\nproofs were probably required or expected. To them, virginity was\nsomething tangible; to us it is not.\n\nNor is the reason far to seek. For while Havelock Ellis, the greatest\nauthority on sexual psychology the world has known, describes the hymen\nas having acquired in human estimation a spiritual value which has made\nit far more than a part of the feminine body, ... \u201csomething that gives\nwoman all her worth and dignity, ... her market value,\u201d he goes on to\npoint out that the presence or absence of the hymen is no real test of\nvirginity.\n\n\u201cThere are many ways,\u201d he writes, (_Studies in the Psychology of Sex_:\nPhiladelphia, 1914: vol. 5: _Erotic Symbolism_), \u201cin which the hymen\nmay be destroyed apart from co\u00eftus.... On the other hand, integrity of\nthe hymen is no proof of virginity, apart from the obvious fact that\nthere may be intercourse without penetration.... The hymen may be of a\nyielding or folding type, so that complete penetration may take place\nand yet the hymen be afterwards found unruptured. It occasionally\nhappens that the hymen is found intact at the end of pregnancy.\u201d[1]\n\n [1] Schurig, in the 17th century, notes a case of this kind. _C.f._\n his _Gyn\u00e6cologia_, where he speaks of a girl being pregnant without\n losing her virginity. _Vide_ note, p. 100 post, where further details\n of the life and works of this erudite physician will be found.\n\nAnd while the foregoing is the exception rather than the rule, it goes\nfar to prove the fallibility of the physical, tangible test.\n\nTo most of us, virginity is a quality supposedly prized at all times\nand by all races. This is far from the case. As Havelock Ellis points\nout, (_op. cit._), virginity is not usually of any value among peoples\nwho are entirely primitive. \u201cIndeed, even in the classic civilisation\nwhich we inherit,\u201d he writes, \u201cit is easy to show that the virgin and\nthe admiration for virginity are of late growth; the virgin goddesses\nwere not originally virgins in our modern sense. Diana was the\nmany-breasted patroness of childbirth before she became the chaste and\nsolitary huntress, for the earliest distinction would appear to have\nbeen simply between the woman who was attached to a man and the woman\nwho followed an earlier rule of freedom and independence; it was a\nlater notion to suppose that the latter women were debarred from sexual\nintercourse.\u201d\n\nA French Army Surgeon, Dr. Jacobus X--, (_Untrodden Fields of\nAnthropology_: Charles Carrington: Paris, 1898), has some interesting\nremarks on the subject, and we offer no apology for reproducing them at\nlength. Writing on the \u201cUnimportance of the signs of virginity in the\nnegress,\u201d he says:--\n\n\u201cThe Negroes of Senegal do not attach, as the Arabs do, considerable\nimportance to the presence of the real signs of virginity in young\ngirls.... The non-existence of the material proofs of virginity seldom\ngive rise to any complaint on the part of the husband.... Moreover,\nthe size of the virile member of the Negro[2] renders it difficult for\nhim to detect any trick. The black bride, on the wedding night, shows\nherself expert in the art of simulating the struggles of an expiring\nvirginity, and it is considered good taste for the girls to require\nalmost to be raped. The least innocent young women are often the most\nclever at this game.\n\n [2] Sir Richard Burton, (_The Thousand Nights and a Night_),\n describes how he measured in Somaliland a negro\u2019s _penis_, which,\n when quiescent, was six inches long; this organ, however, would not\n increase proportionately when in erection.\n\n\u201cThus, throughout nearly all Senegal, the European, who has a taste for\nmaidenheads, can easily be satisfied, provided he is willing to pay\nthe price.[3] At St. Louis women of ill-fame procure young girls, who\nbear the significant name of the \u2018unpierced,\u2019[4] and vary from eight\nor nine years to the nubile age. It is even easier to obtain a young\ngirl before she is nubile than afterwards, on account of the certainty\nof her not bearing any children. The price is within the range of\nall purses, according to quality, and you can have a negro girl,\nwarranted \u2018unpierced\u2019 (belonging to the category of domestic slaves),\nfor the modest sum of from eight to sixteen shillings. Of course, the\nrespectable matron pockets half this sum for her honorarium....\n\n[3] A celebrated Parisian courtesan used to boast, according to\nMantegazza, that she had \u201csold her virginity\u201d on 82 different\noccasions! _Vide_ _Curious Bypaths of History_: Carrington: Paris,\n1898, for further details on this subject.--Note by Dr. Jacobus X--.\n\n [4] _C.f._ _The Thousand Nights and a Night_, (Sir Richard F. Burton;\n the privately printed and uncastrated editions), where the expression\n is common. \u201c ... He found her a pearl unpierced.\u201d Again: \u201c ... went\n in unto the Princess and found her jewel which had been hidden, an\n union pearl unthridden, and a filly that none but he had ridden....\u201d\n Compare, also, the French erotic slang percer (to pierce), signifying\n the act of sexual intercourse. (Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_, p.\n 25, vol. 6; _Vocabula Amatoria, etc._)\n\n\u201c ... The \u2018unpierced\u2019 soon lose their right to the title when they\nhave to do with a Toubab, but, on account of the size of their genital\nparts, the loss of their maidenhead is not such a serious affair for\nthem as it would be for a little French girl who was not yet nubile.\nI have never remarked in a little negress, who had been deflowered\nby a White, the valvular inflammation, which, with us, is noticed as\nthe result of premature copulation before the parts are sufficiently\ndeveloped.... If the reader will remember that the European, who is\nbelow the average dimensions in regard to his _penis_, is like a little\nboy in proportion to the negress of ten or twelve years old, it is not\ndifficult to imagine that the negress he has deflowered can entirely\ntake in the yard of the White, the dimensions of which are much less\nthan that of the adult black.\n\n\u201c ... When the girl has to do later with a negro husband, an astringent\nlotion will render the bride a pseudo-virgin. The deceived husband, not\nhaving the anatomical knowledge necessary to assure himself of the real\nexistence of the signs of virginity, feels a difficulty in copulating,\nand is far from suspecting any trick.[5]\n\n [5] \u201cThe Chinese ... have discovered a way of forming a new virginity\n when by some accident that object has gone astray. The method consists\n in astringent lotions applied to the parts, the effect of which so\n draws them together that a certain amount of vigour is required\n in order to pass through, the husband--on a nuptial night--being\n convinced that he has overcome the usual barrier. To make the illusion\n more complete, a leech-bite is made just inside the critical part, and\n the little wound is plugged with a minute pellet of vegetable tinder,\n with the result that the effort made by the husband to overcome the\n difficulty displaces the pellet and a slight flow of blood ensues.\u201d\n (_Curious Bypaths of History_, _op. cit. sup._) That this method\n is by no means peculiar to the Chinese is instanced by Brant\u00f4me in\n his _Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_ (Paris: Carrington, 1901:\n first English translation), where the genial old soldier-philosopher\n says:--\u201cHow clever these doctors be! for they do give women remedies\n to make them appear virgin and intact as they were afore.... One such\n especially I learned of a quack these last few days. Take leeches and\n apply to the privy parts, getting them to drain and suck the blood\n in that region. Now the leeches, in sucking, do engender and leave\n behind little blebs or blisters full of blood. Then when the gallant\n bridegroom cometh on his marriage night to give assault, he doth burst\n these same blisters and the blood discharging from them; the thing is\n all bathed in gore, to the great satisfaction of both the twain; for\n so \u2018the honour of the citadel is saved.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cDoes not much the same kind of thing prevail also in Europe? How\nmany girls who have been deflowered get married without their husband\never suspecting anything, although he has not the same physical\ndisadvantages that the black has to prevent his seeing through the\ntrick? Is it to this amorous blindness that the Greeks and Romans\nalluded when they represented Cupid with a bandage over his eyes? One\nis almost tempted to believe it.\n\n\u201c ... In opposition to those who exact the virginity of the bride,\nthere are others who attach no importance whatever to it.... The\nancient Egyptians used to make an incision in the hymen previous to\nmarriage, and St. Athanasius relates that among the Ph\u0153nicians a slave\nof the bridegroom was charged by him to deflower the bride.[6] The\nCaraib Indians attached no value to virginity, and only the daughters\nof the higher classes were shut up during two years previous to\nmarriage.\n\n [6] \u201cThat this eagerness after virginity is not an original lust,\n I must, indeed, prove from the opinion of a certain remote people,\n who esteem the taking of a maidenhead as a laborious and illiberal\n practice, which they delegate to men hired for that purpose, ere\n themselves condescend to lie with their wives; who are returned with\n disgrace to their friends, if it be discovered that they have brought\n their virginity with them.\u201d--_The Battles of Venus_: The Hague, 1760,\n quoted by Pisanus Fraxi in his _Index Librorum Prohibitorum_. _Vide_\n also _post_ in this Study.\n\n\u201cIt appears that among the Chibcha Indians in Central America virginity\nis not at all esteemed; it was considered to be a proof that the maiden\nhad never been able to inspire love.\n\n\u201cIn ancient Peru the old maids were the objects of high esteem. There\nwere sacred virgins called \u2018Wives of the Sun,\u2019 somewhat similar to\nthe Roman vestals.[7] (The nuns of the present day, do they not style\nthemselves the \u2018Spouses of Christ\u2019?). They made a vow of perpetual\nchastity.... It is also said they were buried alive when they happened\nto break their vow of chastity, unless indeed they could prove having\nconceived, not from a man, but from the sun.\n\n [7] \u201cNow as to these vows of virginity, Heliogabalus did promulgate a\n law to the effect that no Roman maid, not even a Vestal Virgin, was\n bound to perpetuate virginity, saying how that the female sex was\n over weak for women to be bound to a pact they could never be sure of\n keeping.\u201d (Brant\u00f4me: _Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_.) The author\n of this edict was not without a knowledge of sexual psychology, for\n we have ample evidence that some of the Vestals failed in their duty,\n which was, nominally, to guard the sacred fire and the Holy Things\n of Rome. \u201cFar up by Porta Pia,\u201d says F. Marion Crawford (_Ave Roma\n Immortalis_: London, 1903), \u201cover against the new Treasury, under a\n modern street, lie the bones of guilty Vestals, buried living, each\n in a little vault two fathoms deep, with the small dish and crust and\n the earthen lamp that soon flickered out in the close, damp air.\u201d\n Vestal Virgins had many privileges denied to other Roman women; they\n were free for life; they had a right to be present at the Emperor\u2019s\n games; and they were treated with marked respect by the highest in the\n land. That the privileges of virginity did not necessarily make for\n the owner\u2019s happiness is instanced by Brant\u00f4me\u2019s grim story. \u201cMaids\n and virgins,\u201d he writes (_Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_), \u201cwould\n seem in old days at Rome to have been highly honoured and privileged,\n so much so that the law had no jurisdiction over them to sentence them\n to death. Hence the story we read of a Roman Senator in the time of\n the Triumvirate, which was condemned to die among other victims of the\n Proscription, and not he alone, but all the offspring of his loins. So\n when a daughter of his house did appear on the scaffold, a very fair\n and lovely girl, but of unripe years and yet a virgin, \u2018twas needful\n for the executioner to deflower her himself and take her maidenhead\n on the scaffold, and only then when she was so polluted, could he ply\n his knife upon her. The Emperor Tiberius did delight in having fair\n virgins thus publicly deflowered, and then put to death,--a right\n villainous piece of cruelty, pardy!\u201d\n\n\u201cSeveral authors worthy of credence assure us that these vestals were\nguarded by eunuchs. The temple at Cuzco had one thousand virgins, that\nof Caranqua two hundred. It would appear, however, that the virginity\nof these vestals was not so very sacred after all, for the Inca Kings\nused to choose from among them concubines for themselves or for their\nprincipal vassals and favourite friends.\n\n\u201cMarco Polo narrates how young girls were exposed by their mothers on\nthe public highway in order that travellers might freely make use of\nthem.[8] A young girl was expected to have at least twenty presents\nearned by such prostitutions before she could hope to find a husband.\nThis did not prevent them from being very virtuous after marriage, nor\ntheir virtue from being much appreciated.[9]\n\n [8] _C.f._ Herodotus, who tells us that in the fifth century before\n Christ every woman, once in her life, had to come to the temple of\n Mylitta, the Babylonian Venus, and yield herself to the first stranger\n who threw a coin in her lap, in worship of the goddess. The money\n could not be refused, however small the amount, but it was given as\n an offertory to the temple, and the woman, having followed the man\n and thus made oblation to Mylitta, returned home and lived chastely\n ever afterwards. (Havelock Ellis: _Studies in the Psychology of Sex_:\n vol. 6: _Sex in Relation to Society_.) Havelock Ellis has quoted\n Herodotus in relation to prostitution, holding that its origin is to\n be found primarily in religious custom. In our opinion, the practice\n also merits inclusion in a catalogue of virginal folk-lore, and we are\n further justified in our view by the statement that the woman who so\n yielded herself lived chastely ever afterwards.\n\n [9] \u201cIn old times we read of a custom in the isle of Cyprus, which\n \u2018tis said the kindly goddess Venus, the patroness of that land, did\n introduce. This was that the maids of that island should go forth\n and wander along the banks, shores and cliffs of the sea, for to\n earn their marriage portions by the generous giving of their bodies\n to mariners, sailors and seafarers along that coast. These would\n put in to shore on purpose, very often indeed turning from their\n straight course by compass to land there; and so taking their pleasant\n refreshment with them, would pay handsomely, and presently hie them\n away again to sea, for their part only too sorry to leave such good\n entertainment behind. Thus would these fair maids win their marriage\n dowers, some more, some less, some high, some low, some grand, some\n lowly, according to the beauty, gifts and carnal attractions of each\n damsel.\u201d (Brant\u00f4me: _Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_.)\n\n\u201cWaitz assures us that in several countries of Africa a young girl\nis preferred for wife when she has made herself remarked by several\namours and by much fecundity. (_C.f._ Havelock Ellis, _op. cit._,\nvol.6: \u2018Equally unsound is the notion that the virgin bride brings\nher husband at marriage an important capital which is consumed in the\nfirst act of intercourse and can never be recovered. That is a notion\nwhich has survived into civilisation, but it belongs to barbarism and\nnot to civilisation. So far as it has any validity it lies within a\nsphere of erotic perversity which cannot be taken into consideration\nin an estimation of moral values. For most men, however, in any case,\nwhether they realise it or not, the woman who has been initiated into\nthe mysteries of love has a higher erotic value than the virgin,[10]\nand there need be no anxiety on this ground concerning the wife who has\nlost her virginity.\u2019)\n\n [10] \u201cI am not surprised if the Ph\u0153nicians, according to St.\n Athanasius, obliged their daughters, by severe laws, to suffer\n themselves before marriage to be deflowered by valets, or also that\n the Armenians, as Strabo relates, sacrificed their daughters in the\n temple of the Goddess Anaitis, with the object of being eased of\n their maidenheads, so as to be able afterwards to find advantageous\n marriages suited to their condition; for one cannot describe what\n exhaustion and what sufferings a man has to undergo in his first\n action, at all events if the girl be narrow.... It is far sweeter to\n have connection with a woman accustomed to the pleasures of love than\n to caress one who has not yet known a man; for as we ask a locksmith\n to ease the wards of a new lock he brings us, to save us the trouble\n we might have the first day, so had the nations of whom we spoke good\n reason for establishing such laws.\u201d (Nicolas Venette: _La G\u00e9n\u00e9ration\n de L\u2019Homme, ou Tableau de L\u2019Amour Conjugal_: Paris, 1751.)\n\n\u201cIt was impossible,\u201d continues Dr. Jacobus X--, \u201cever to find the signs\nof virginity among the Machacura women in Brazil, and Feldner explains\nthe reason thus:--\n\n\u201c\u2018Among them a virgin is never to be found, for this reason: that the\nmother from her daughter\u2019s tenderest years endeavours with the utmost\ncare to remove all tightness of the vagina and obstacle therein. With\nthis end in view, the leaf of a tree folded in the shape of a funnel\nis held in the right hand, then while the index finger is introduced\ninto the genital parts and worked to and fro, warm water is admitted by\nmeans of the funnel.\u2019 (_Journey Across Brazil_, 1828.)\n\n\u201cAmong the Sakalaves in Madagascar the young girls deflower themselves,\nwhen the parents have not previously seen to this necessary preparation\nfor marriage.\n\n\u201cAmong the Balanti of Senegambia, one of the most degraded races in\nAfrica, the girls cannot find a husband until they have been deflowered\nby their King, who often exacts costly presents from his female\nsubjects for putting them in condition to be able to marry.\n\n\u201cBarth, (1856), in describing Adamad, says that the chief of the Bagoli\nused to lie the first night with the daughters of the Fulba, a people\nunder his sway. Similar facts are related of the aborigines of Brazil\nand of the Kinipeto Esquimaux.\n\n\u201cDemosthenes informs us that there was a celebrated Greek hetaira,\nnamed M\u00e6ra, who had seven slaves whom she called her daughters, so that\nbeing supposed to be free a higher price was paid for their favours.\nShe sold their virginity five or six times over, and ended by selling\nthe whole lot together.\n\n\u201cThe god Mutinus, Mutunus or Tutunus of ancient Rome used to have\nthe new brides come and sit upon his knees, as if to offer him their\nvirginity. St. Augustine says: \u2018In the celebration of nuptials the\nnewly wed bride used to be bidden sit on the shaft of Priapus.\u2019\nLactantius gives more precise details: \u2018And Mutunus, in whose shameful\nlap brides sit, in order that the god may appear to have gathered\nthe first-fruits of their virginity.\u2019 It appears, however, that this\noffering was not merely symbolical, for when they had become wives,\nthey used to return to the favourite deity to pray for fecundity.[11]\n\n [11] \u201cAccording to Festus, _Mutinus_ is a god differing wholly from\n Priapus, having a public sanctuary at Rome, where the statue was\n placed sitting with _penis_ erect. Newly mated girls were placed\n in his lap, before being led away to their husbands, so that the\n deity might appear to have foretasted their virginity, this being\n supposed to render the bride fruitful.\u201d (_Priapeia_: Cosmopoli, 1890.)\n Schurig (_Gyn\u00e6cologia_: _op. cit. sup._) instances the Indian custom\n of deflowering young brides by means of an enormous priapus in the\n temples.\n\n\u201cArnobius also asks: \u2018Is it Tutunus, on whose huge organs and bristling\ntool you think it an auspicious and desirable thing that your matrons\nshould be mounted?\u2019\n\n\u201cPertunda was another hermaphrodite divinity that St. Augustine\nmaliciously proposed rather to name the _Deus Pretundus_ (who strikes\nfirst); it was carried on to the nuptial bed to aid the bridegroom:\n\u2018Pertunda stands there ready in the bed-chamber for the aid of husbands\nexcavating the virgin pit.\u2019 (Arnobius.)\n\n\u201cThe Kondadgis (Ceylon), the Cambodgians, and other peoples charged\ntheir priests with the defloration of their brides.\n\n\u201cJager communicated to the Berlin Anthropological Society a passage\nfrom Gemelli Cancri, which mentions a _stupratio officialis_[12]\npractised at a certain period among the Bisayos of the Philippine\nIslands: \u2018There is no known example of a custom so barbarous as that\nwhich had been there established, of having public officials, and even\npaid very dearly, to take the virginity of young girls, the same being\nconsidered to be an obstacle to the pleasures of the husband. As a fact\nthere no longer exists any trace of this infamous practice since the\nestablishment of the Spanish rule, ... but even to-day a Bisayo feels\nvexed to find his wife safe from suspicion, because he concludes, that\nnot having excited the desire of anyone, she must have some bad quality\nwhich will prevent him from being happy with her.\u2019\n\n [12] _i.e._, a legalised defilement or ravishing. Blondeau, in\n his _Dictionnaire \u00e9rotique latin-fran\u00e7ais_ (Liseux: Paris, 1885),\n translates _stupratio_ as \u201ca combat in which one forces a beauty to\n yield to one\u2019s passion ... to take possession of the honour of some\n pretty woman ... the struggle in which women succumb with pleasure.\u201d\n _Stupro_, the verb; _stuprator_, the noun; and _stupratus_, the\n adjective have kindred meanings.\n\n\u201cOn the Malabar Coast, also, there were Brahmins whose only religious\noffice was to gather the virgin flower of young girls. These latter\nused to pay them for it, without which they could not find husbands.\nThe King of Calicut himself used to grant the right of the first night\nto a Brahmin; the King of Tamassat grants it to the first stranger who\narrives in the town; whereas the King of Campa reserves to himself\nthe _jus prim\u00e6 noctis_[13] for all the marriages in the kingdom. (_De\nGubernatis, Histoire des voyageurs italiens aux Indes Orientales_:\nLivourne, 1875.)\n\n [13] An old established practice whereby newly married women are\n deflowered by others than their husbands, whether by priest, lord, or\n stranger. To discuss this relic of feudalism would be beyond the scope\n of a note; it is summed up briefly in the idea that the lord of a\n domain was entitled to exact tribute from his subjects in the form of\n intercourse with every bride on the first night of her marriage. Our\n readers are referred to Dr. Karl Schmidt\u2019s _Jus Prim\u00e6 Noctis (The Law\n of the First Night)_, the most comprehensive treatise on the subject.\n\n\u201cWarthema says that the King of Calicut, when he took a wife, chose\nthe most worthy and learned Brahmin to deflower the maiden; for this\nservice he received from 400 to 500 crowns. At Tenasserim fathers used\nto beg of their daughters to allow themselves to be deflowered by\nChristians or Mohammedans.\n\n\u201cPascal de Andagoya, who visited Nicaragua between 1514 and 1522,\nsays that it was usual for a grand-priest to lie during the first\nnight with the bride, and Oviedo, (1535), speaking of the Acovacks\nand other American nations, relates that the wife, in order that the\nmarriage should be happy, passed the first nuptial night with the\npriest or _piache_, and Gomarra, (1551), relates the same thing of the\ninhabitants of Cumana.\n\n\u201cIn Europe, young girls who are not very virtuous, and who have studied\nall the various forms of flirtation, are most generally passed off as\nvirgins when they marry. Even when it does not really exist, there are\nmany ways by which a virginity--which perhaps has been sold over and\nover again by expert and clever procuresses--can be simulated. A little\ntime before going to the nuptial bed, the girl inserts into her vagina\na few drops of pigeon\u2019s blood; or in some cases she selects for her\nwedding day the last day of menstruation. A sponge, skilfully placed,\nallows the blood to flow at the moment of the catastrophe, when a\nsudden \u2018Oh!\u2019 announces to the unsuspecting husband that the temple has\nbeen violated for the first time, and that the veil of the _sanctum\nsanctorum_ has really been rent by him. Add also to these methods\ninjections so astringent that, at the required time, they will give to\na prostitute, whose gap has been widened by a thousand customers, a\ntightness greater than that of a real virgin.\u201d\n\nThe more one examines the question, the more one is convinced that\nvirginity or chastity has come to be regarded as a spiritual and\nmoral asset only in civilised, or comparatively civilised, society.\n\u201cIn considering the moral quality of chastity among savages,\u201d writes\nHavelock Ellis (_Studies in the Psychology of Sex_, vol. 6, p. 147),\n\u201cwe must carefully separate that chastity which among semi-primitive\npeoples is exclusively imposed upon women. This has no moral quality\nwhatever, for it is not exercised as a useful discipline, but merely\nenforced in order to heighten the economic and erotic value of women.\n\n\u201cMany authorities believe that the regard for women as property\nfurnishes the true reason for the widespread insistence on virginity in\nbrides. Thus A. B. Ellis, speaking of the West Coast of Africa (_Yoruba\nSpeaking Peoples_, pp. 183 _et seq._), says that girls of good class\nare betrothed as mere children, and are carefully guarded from men,\nwhile girls of lower class are seldom betrothed, and may lead any life\nthey choose.\u201d\n\nVirginity in woman, it seems, has been set on a pedestal unsupported\nby history, science, or investigation. It is obviously the outcome\nof man\u2019s desire, when he buys or acquires, to obtain unsoiled goods.\nComes a time, however, when the value of these so-called unsoiled\ngoods grows questionable. Something virgin, in terms of common sense,\nis not necessarily something valuable; here enters the thinking, and,\nultimately, the erotic, element. Let a man fall to asking why he\ndemands virginity, and he will speedily begin to realise that it is the\nlast thing he requires. Virginity spells ignorance, awkwardness and\nobstacles; maturity means understanding and co-operation. Thus, by easy\nstages, we reach the conclusion, mentioned by Havelock Ellis and quoted\nabove, that for most men, whether they realise it or not, the love-wise\nwoman has a greater erotic value than the virgin.[14]\n\n [14] Brant\u00f4me, of course, has some pertinent remarks on the subject.\n In his _Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_, he devotes the seventh\n _Discourse_ to the following topic: _Concerning married women, widows\n and maids,--to wit, which of these same be better than other to love_.\n \u201cOne day,\u201d writes the genial philosopher, \u201cwhen I was at the Court of\n Spain at Madrid, and conversing with a very honourable lady, ... she\n did chance to ask me this question following:--\u2019Which of the three had\n the greater heat of love: widow, wife or maid?\u2019 After myself had told\n her mine opinion she did in turn give me hers in some such terms as\n these: \u2018That albeit maids, with all that heat of blood that is theirs,\n be right well disposed to love, yet do they not love so well as wives\n and widows. This is because of the great experience of the business\n the latter have, and the obvious fact that supposing a man born blind,\n ... he can never desire the gift of sight so strongly as he that has\n sweetly enjoyed the same a while and then been deprived of it.\u2019\u201d\n Later, quoting Boccaccio, Brant\u00f4me also says:--\u201cThe widow is more\n painstaking of the pleasure of love an hundred fold than the virgin,\n seeing the latter is all for dearly guarding her precious virginity\n and maidenhead. Further, virgins be naturally timid, and above all in\n this matter, awkward and inept to find the sweet artifices and pretty\n complaisances required under divers circumstances in such encounters.\n But this is not so with the widow, who is already well practised, bold\n and ready in this art, having long ago bestowed and given away what\n the virgin doth make so much ado about giving.... Beside all this,\n the maid doth dread this first assault of her virginity, ... whereas\n widows have no such fear, but do submit themselves very sweetly and\n gently, even when the assailant be of the roughest.\u201d\n\nQuoting Westermarck (_History of Human Marriage_), he goes on to refer\nto the fact that the seduction of an unmarried girl \u201cis chiefly, if not\nexclusively, regarded as an offence against the parents or family of\nthe girl,\u201d and there is no indication that it is ever held by savages\nthat any wrong has been done to the woman herself.\n\n\u201cWestermarck realises at the same time,\u201d adds Havelock Ellis, \u201cthat\nthe preference given to virgins has also a biological basis in the\ninstinctive masculine feeling of jealousy in regard to women who have\nhad intercourse with other men, and especially in the erotic charm for\nmen of the emotional state of shyness which accompanies virginity.\u201d\n\nHere, in all probability, are the most powerful reasons for the value\nplaced on virginity; each reason, too, is highly practical. Who\namong us truly wants to share his most treasured possession? And the\nshy charm of virginity \u2018neath the attack of the amorous lover is as\nundeniable as it is indescribable. Hence the virgin\u2019s lure for the old\nand worn-out rou\u00e9, who finds in her shrinking reluctance a stimulant\nto his erotic prowess which sympathy, boldness, even lewdness, have\nno power to furnish. That quaint old book, \u201c_Memoirs of a Woman of\nPleasure_,\u201d (London, 1780), gives a typical account of the attempt and\nfailure of an aged rake to ravish the then virginal heroine of the\nstory.[15]\n\n [15] We can supplement these remarks by a further quotation from that\n curious work already noticed, _The Battles of Venus_, wherein we read:\n \u201cThis lust, then, after the _untouched_ morsel, I take not to be an\n original dictate of nature; but consequently to result from much\n experience with women, which has been demonstrated to lead to novelty\n of wishes from fastidious impotence.... Yet, in truth, I esteem the\n fruition of a virgin to be, with respect both to the mind and body of\n the enjoyer, the highest aggravation of sensual delight. In the first\n place, his fancy is heated with the prospect of enjoying a woman,\n after whom he has perhaps long sighed and has been in pursuit, who\n he thinks has never before been in bed with a man, (in whose arms\n never before has man laid), and in triumphing in the first sight\n of her virgin charms. This precious operation, then, of fancy, has\n been shown in the highest degree to prepare the body for enjoyment.\n Secondly, his body perceives, in that of a virgin, the cause of the\n greatest aggravation of delight. I mean not only in the coyness and\n resistance which she makes to his efforts, but when he is on the point\n of accomplishing them: when arrived, as the poet sings, \u2018on the brink\n of giddy rapture,\u2019 when in pity to a tender virgin\u2019s sufferings, he is\n intreated not to break fiercely in, but to spare \u2018fierce dilaceration\n and dire pangs.\u2019 The resistance which the small, and as yet unopened,\n mouth of bliss makes to his eager endeavours, serves only, and that\n on a physical principle, to strengthen the instrument of his attack,\n and concurs, with the instigation of his ardent fancy, to reinforce\n his efforts, to unite all the co-operative powers of enjoyment, and\n to produce an emission copious, rapid, and transporting.... \u2018In\n this case, part of the delight arises from considering that ... you\n feel the convulsive wrigglings of the chaste nymph you have so long\n adored....\u2019\u201d Our acknowledgements are again due to Pisanus Fraxi,\n from whose _Index Librorum Prohibitorum_ our extract is taken. The\n author of _The Battles of Venus_, it need hardly be said, is in no\n sense an authority; his work, indeed, is pornographic rather than\n artistic; at the same time, it is impossible to ignore his flashes of\n insight into a question which has exercised the minds of the greatest\n psychologists.\n\nAt certain times and with certain peoples the virgin maid has been\nfenced about with all manner of safeguards up to the very hour of her\nmarriage; but have these and other peoples ever troubled to preserve\nthe virginity of their daughters as they were at pains to guard the\nchastity of their wives? What nation ever inflicted that ghastly\ncontrivance, the Girdle of Chastity, upon its virgin daughters? This\nbar to erotic pleasure was reserved exclusively for the potentially\nfroward wife.\n\nOriginating in the woollen band worn by the Spartan virgins[16]--a\ngarment removed for the first time by the husband on the wedding\nnight--these Girdles of Chastity, with their padlocks and keys, were\nundoubtedly in use in the fourteenth or fifteenth century, and in use\nfor an unmistakable purpose. \u201cThe first to employ this apparatus,\u201d says\nDr. Jacobus X--(_Ethnology of the Sixth Sense_: Charles Carrington:\nParis, 1899), \u201cwas Francis of Tarrara, Provost of Padua in the\nfourteenth century. It was a belt having a central piece made of ivory,\nwith a barbed narrow slit down the middle, which was passed between\nthe legs and fixed there by lock and key. A specimen of this safety\napparatus is to be seen actually at the Mus\u00e9e de Cluny in Paris.\u201d\n\n [16] Brant\u00f4me, apparently, had a poor opinion of Spartan virginity.\n \u201cWhat kind of virtue was it?\u201d he asks. (_Lives of Fair and Gallant\n Ladies._) \u201cWhy! on their solemn feast-days the Spartan maids were\n used to sing and dance in public stark naked with the lads, and even\n wrestle in the open market place,--the which however was done in all\n honesty and good faith, so History saith. But what sort of honesty and\n purity was this, we may well ask, to look on at these pretty maids so\n performing publicly? Honesty was it never a whit, but pleasure in the\n sight of them, and especially of their bodily movements and dancing\n postures, and above all in their wrestling; and chiefest of all when\n they came to fall one atop of the other, as they say in Latin: \u2018She\n underneath, he atop; he underneath, she atop.\u2019 You will never persuade\n me \u2018twas all honesty and purity herein with these Spartan maidens. I\n ween there is never chastity so chaste that would not have been shaken\n thereby, or that, so making in public and by day these feint assaults,\n they did not presently in privity and by night and on assignation\n proceed to greater combats and night attacks.\u201d\n\nDr. Caufeynon, the great authority on the subject, believes, however,\nthat these girdles only date from the Renaissance.[17] In his\nremarkable little work, _La Ceinture de Chastet\u00e9_ (Paris, 1904), which\ncontains numerous engravings and photographic designs, he gives an\nillustration of the specimen in the Mus\u00e9e de Cluny. Quoting Brant\u00f4me\n(_Lives of Fair and Gallant Ladies_), he adds:--\n\n [17] Havelock Ellis, _op. cit._, vol. 6: _Sex in Relation to Society_,\n p. 163.\n\n\u201cIn the time of Henry the king there lived an ironmonger who brought to\nthe fair of St. Germain a dozen of certain machines to bridle the parts\nof women; they were fashioned of iron and went round like a girdle, and\nwent below and were closed with a key. So cleverly were they fashioned\nthat it was not possible for the women, when once bridled, to arrive at\nthe sweet pleasure, there being but a few small holes in it for pissing.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis said there were five or six jealous husbands, who bought these\nmachines and bridled their wives with them in such fashion that they\nmight well have said \u2018Farewell, happy time,\u2019 had there not been one who\nbethought her of applying to a locksmith very skilled in his art, to\nwhom she showed the machine, her own, her husband being then out in the\nfields; and he applied his mind so well to the matter that he made for\nher a false key, with which the lady opened or closed the machine at\nany time and when she willed.\n\n\u201cThe husband never discovered aught to say on the matter; and the lady\ngave herself up to her own good pleasure, despite her foolish, jealous,\ncuckold husband, being ever able to live in the freedom of cuckoldom.\nBut the wicked locksmith who fashioned the false key tasted of it all;\nand he did well, so they say, for he was the first to taste of it.\n\n\u201cThey say, too, that there were many gallant and honest gentlemen\nof the court who threatened that ironmonger with death did he ever\npresume to carry about such merchandise; so much so that he was afraid\nand returned no more and threw away all the rest, and no more was heard\nof. Wherein he was wise, for it were enough to lose half the world,\nfor want of any body to people it, through such bridles, clasps and\nfastenings of a nature abominable and detestable and enemies to human\nmultiplication.\u201d\n\nThe troubadour Guillaume de Machault speaks of a key given to him by\nAgnes of Navarre; this key was obviously intended to unlock a girdle\nof chastity. Nicolas Chorier, in his erotic _Dialogues of Luisa Sigea_\n(Paris: Isidore Liseux, 1890), mentions the apparatus. Although the\nexistence of such girdles has often been denied, \u201cthe presence of\nmany undoubted specimens in several of the most important museums\nof Europe,\u201d says Dr. Jacobus X--(_Ethnology of the Sixth Sense_),\n\u201cplaces their authenticity beyond all doubt. This custom existed more\nparticularly during the time of the Crusades, ... but a very curious\ninstance is mentioned as having occurred as late as the middle of\nthe eighteenth century, for it is recorded that the advocate Feydeau\npleaded before the supreme court of Montpellier on behalf of a woman\nwho accused her husband of making her undergo this shameful treatment.\n(_Petition against the introduction of padlocks or girdles of chastity,\nMontpellier, 1750._)\u201d\n\nAll this only goes to show that virginity and chastity are two very\ndifferent things, and that the latter was obviously of more account\nthan the former in the eyes of medi\u00e6val man. Much the same obtains\nto-day. To a certain extent we seek to preserve the virginity of our\ndaughters; but is there any limit to the precautions with which a\njealous husband will fence about his wife? In short, virginity concerns\nalone her who loses it; is any man\u2019s for the taking. Chastity is\nanother person\u2019s property.\n\nThis slight survey of virginity would be incomplete without a reference\nto the operation of infibulation[18]--the artificial adhesion of\nthe _labia majora_ by means of a ring or stitches with a view to\nthe prevention of sexual intercourse. Kisch, (_The Sexual Life of\nWoman_: translated by M. Eden Paul: London: Wm. Heinemann), quotes the\nauthority of Ploss-Bartels for saying that this operation is practised\nby many savage peoples, among them the Bedschas, the Gallas, the\nSomalis, the inhabitants of Harrar, at Massaua, etc.\n\n [18] _C.f._ the Latin _infibulare_=to clasp, buckle, or button\n together. (Smith\u2019s Latin-English dictionary.) The noun _fibula_ can be\n translated: (1) a clasp, buckle, pin, latchet, brace; (2) a surgical\n instrument for drawing together the edges of a gaping wound; (3) a\n ring drawn through the prepuce to prevent copulation. Celsus, Martial\n and Juvenal use the word in this sense. \u201cThe ancient Romans prevented\n actors from copulating, with the object of preserving their voices.\n Martial speaks of singers who sometimes broke the ring, and whom it\n was necessary to bring back again to the blacksmith.\u201d (Jacobus X--,\n _op. cit._)\n\n\u201cThe purpose of this practise,\u201d he adds, \u201cis to preserve the chastity\nof the girls until marriage, when the reverse operative procedure\nis undertaken. If the husband goes away on a journey, in many cases\nthe operation of infibulation is once more performed upon his wives.\nSlave-dealers also make use of this operation so as to prevent their\nslaves from becoming pregnant. It is reported, however, that the\noperation does not invariably produce the desired effect.\u201d\n\nNothing we have said or quoted, however, can alter the fact that\nvirginity has been and will always be a certain asset in civilised or\nsemi-civilised communities. There is a romance attached to the term\nwhich neither cynicism nor materialism can kill. Incidentally, there is\na strong business side to the question. Who, as we said before, wants\nto feel that his dearest possession has been shared by others? Who, in\nmore modern parlance, wants damaged goods?\n\nWhile life lasts, the virgin maid will lure the normal lover, common\nsense and cold facts notwithstanding. What the poet sang and the\namorous swain coveted in those by-gone times of pomp and paganism, in\nthe days of chivalry, and even in that dreary early Victorian era,\nwill be sung and coveted centuries hence. Science, new discoveries,\nnew theories, new ideals, new conditions, cannot oust human nature,\nour undeniable birthright. The sanctity and value of virginity are\ntraditions; and, as Havelock Ellis says, in that singularly beautiful\npostscript to his _Studies_, \u201cthere can be no world without traditions;\nneither can there be any life without movement. As Heracleitus knew\nat the outset of modern philosophy, we cannot bathe twice in the\nsame stream, though, as we know to-day, the stream still flows in an\nunending circle. There is never a moment when the new dawn is not\nbreaking over the earth, and never a moment when the sunset ceases to\ndie. It is well to greet serenely even the first glimmer of the dawn\nwhen we see it, not hastening toward it with undue speed, nor leaving\nthe sunset without gratitude for the dying light that once was dawn.\n\n\u201cIn the moral world we are ourselves the light-bearers, and the cosmic\nprocess is in us made flesh. For a brief space it is granted to us, if\nwe will, to enlighten the darkness that surrounds our path. As in the\nancient torch-race, which seemed to Lucretius to be the symbol of all\nlife, we press forward torch in hand along the course. Soon from behind\ncomes the runner who will outpace us. All our skill lies in giving into\nhis hand the living torch, bright and unflickering, as we ourselves\ndisappear in the darkness.\u201d\n\nBeautiful words, and fitting monument to a man who gave thirty years\nof his life to the production of a work that will live for all time.\nHardly applicable to our present theme some, perhaps, will say. We\ntake leave to differ. In the relations between man and woman all life\nis epitomised. Each bears the torch, and the race they run is the life\nthey lead. To almost all is granted the chance to hand on the torch in\nliving, breathing prototype.\n\nLet us recognise new conditions, new ideas; let us welcome, examine\nand weigh them, that none may say we do not \u2018greet serenely the dawn.\u2019\nBut let us also remember that theory cannot oust fact, nor materialism\nhuman nature.\n\nDown the ages man has altered in custom and habit, but in his spiritual\nessence not at all. Save for local and racial differences, humanity has\nshared the same passions of pain, sorrow, happiness, anger, laughter\nand lust throughout all time. Human nature alone does not change; our\nbirthright is immutable. Human nature ever has, and ever will, set\nstore by virginity. It has become a tradition. And without tradition,\nas the great psychologist has truly told us, there is no world.\n\n\n\n\nTHE WAY OF A VIRGIN.\n\n\n\n\nTHE ENCHANTED RING.[19]\n\n [19] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn, 1883: Henninger Fr\u00e8res: vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_, No. 32. Also _Contes Secrets Russes_:\n Paris: Liseux, 1891.\n\n\nIn a certain reign, in a certain kingdom, there lived once on a time\nthree peasant brethren, who quarrelled among themselves and divided up\ntheir goods; they did not share equally, and the division gave much to\nthe elder brethren but very little to the youngest.\n\nAll three were young lads. They went forth together into the courtyard,\nsaying one to the other:\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis time for us to wed.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis well enough for ye,\u201d quoth the youngest brother. \u201cYe are rich,\nand the rich can marry. But what may I do? I am poor. I have not even\na log of wood to my name. All I have for a fortune is a yard which\nreacheth to my knees!\u201d\n\nOn this very moment there chanced to pass a merchant\u2019s daughter, who\noverheard these words and said to herself:\n\n\u201cAh! that I might have this young man for a husband! He hath a yard\nthat reacheth to his very knees!\u201d\n\nThe two elder brethren married; the youngest remained single.\n\nThe merchant\u2019s daughter, back in her home, had no thought in her head\nbut to wed the young peasant; several rich merchants sought her hand in\nmarriage, but she would have none of them.\n\n\u201cI will wed with none save this young man,\u201d quoth she.\n\nHer father and mother sought to dissuade her. \u201cWhat art thinking on,\nfoolish one?\u201d said they. \u201cCome back to thy senses! Why wouldst wed with\na poor peasant?\u201d\n\n\u201cConcern not yourselves with that!\u201d answered she. \u201c\u2018Tis not ye who will\nhave to live with him!\u201d\n\nThe merchant\u2019s daughter came to an understanding with the matchmaker,\nand dispatched her to tell the young man to come without fail and ask\nher hand in marriage. The matchmaker went to see him, saying:\n\n\u201cHearken, oh! my little dove. Why standest there gaping? Go ask in\nmarriage the merchant\u2019s daughter. She hath awaited thee this long time,\nand will wed thee with joy.\u201d\n\nThe young man swiftly apparelled himself, donned a new smock-frock,\ntook his new hat, and hied him forthwith to the house of the merchant\nto ask his daughter\u2019s hand in marriage. When the merchant\u2019s daughter\nperceived him, when she recognised that it was indeed he whose yard\nreached to his knees, she fell to asking her father and mother for\ntheir blessing on a union indissoluble.\n\nOn the wedding night she went to bed with her husband, and perceived\nthat he had but a little yard, smaller even than a finger.\n\n\u201cOh! thou scoundrel!\u201d she cried. \u201cThou boastest ownership of a yard\nreaching to thy knees! What hast done with it?\u201d\n\n\u201cDear wife, thou knowest that I was a bachelor, and very poor; when I\nresolved to marry, I had neither gold nor aught else to enable me so to\ndo. So I have pledged my yard.\u201d[20]\n\n [20] Literally: \u201cput it in pawn.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd for what sum hast thou pledged thy yard?\u201d\n\n\u201cBut for little--for fifty roubles.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood. On the morrow I will go seek my mother, I will beg money of her,\nand thou wilt go without fail to recover thy yard. If thou dost not buy\nit back, enter not the house!\u201d\n\nShe waited until morn, then ran swiftly in search of her mother, saying:\n\n\u201cGrant me a favour, little mother. Give me fifty roubles. I have sore\nneed of them.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut tell me why thou hast need of them.\u201d\n\n\u201cSee, little mother. My husband had a yard which reached to his knees.\nWhen we desired to marry, he knew not where to find the money, the poor\nman, and he hath pledged his yard for fifty roubles. Now my husband\nhath but a tiny yard, even smaller than a finger. \u2018Tis of the utmost\nnecessity, therefore, to buy back his ancient yard.\u201d\n\nThe mother, understanding the need, drew fifty roubles from her purse,\nand gave them to her daughter. The latter returned to her home and gave\nthe money to her husband, saying:\n\n\u201cGo! Run now swiftly to buy back thine ancient yard, in order that\nstrangers may not make use of it!\u201d\n\nThe young man took the money and went forth, eyes downcast. Where might\nhe turn now? Where find for his wife such a yard? Best leave it to\nchance.\n\nHe went forward, now swiftly, now slowly, and at length he encountered\nan aged woman.\n\n\u201cGood day, good woman.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood day, good man. Whither goest thou at this pace?\u201d\n\n\u201cAh, good woman--would thou knewest--would thou didst know my\nsorrow--would I might tell thee whither I go!\u201d\n\n\u201cTell me thy sorrow, little dove. Perchance I can come to thine aid.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am shamed to tell it thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cFear not, have no shame. Speak boldly.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh, well, see here, good woman. I had boasted of having a yard that\nreached to my knees; a merchant\u2019s daughter, who had heard this,\nespoused me, but when she lay with me on our wedding night and\nperceived that I had but a little yard, smaller than a finger, she\ncried out and asked what I had done with my great yard. I told her that\nI had pledged it for fifty roubles; she gave me the money and bade me\nbuy it back without fail; otherwise, I might not show myself again at\nmy home. And I know not how to satisfy my little dove.\u201d\n\nThe aged woman made answer to him:\n\n\u201cGive me thy money,\u201d said she, \u201cand I will find a remedy for thy\nsorrow.\u201d\n\nForthwith he drew the fifty roubles from his pocket and gave them to\nher; the aged woman handed to him a ring.\n\n\u201cCome, take this ring,\u201d quoth she. \u201cPut it only on thy finger nail.\u201d\n\nThe young man took the ring, and scarce had he put it on his finger\nnail ere his yard stretched itself a cubit\u2019s length.\n\n\u201cWell, what of it?\u201d asked the aged woman. \u201cDoth thy yard reach to thy\nknees?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, good woman. It reacheth even below my knees.\u201d\n\n\u201cNow, my little dove, pass the ring down thy whole finger.\u201d\n\nHe passed the ring over his entire finger, and his yard lengthened out\neven unto seven versts.[21]\n\n [21] A verst would be about 1,170 yards. The virtue of the ring was\n indeed remarkable!\n\n\u201cAh! good woman! where shall I lodge it? It will bring me ill fortune\nwith my wife.\u201d\n\n\u201cThrust up the ring to thy finger nail; thy yard will be but a cubit\u2019s\nspan. This for thy guidance--pay attention and never put the ring\nbeyond thy finger nail.\u201d\n\nHe thanked the aged woman, and retook the road homeward; and as he\njourneyed he rejoiced in that he need not appear before his wife with\nempty hands.\n\nBut as he went, he felt a desire to eat. Going aside, he seated himself\nnot far from the road at the foot of a burdock, drew biscuits from\nhis wallet, dipped them in water, and fell to eating. Anon, desire to\nslumber o\u2019er-came him; he lay down, belly uppermost, and played with\nthe ring. He put it upon his finger nail, and his yard rose to the\nheight of a cubit\u2019s span; he pressed his whole finger through the ring,\nand his yard rose to a height of seven versts; he removed the ring, and\nhis yard became small as before. He examined and re-examined the ring,\nand thus he fell asleep. But he forgot to conceal the ring, which\nrested upon his belly.\n\nThere chanced to pass in a carriage a lord and his wife. The lord\nsaw, not far from the road, a peasant aslumbering, and upon his belly\nglittered a ring, as it were a live coal in the sun. He stopped the\nhorses, saying to his lackey:\n\n\u201cApproach the peasant, take the ring, and bring it to me.\u201d\n\nStraightway the lackey ran to the peasant, and carried back the ring to\nthe lord. And these went on their way.\n\nThe lord admired the ring.\n\n\u201cLook thou, my dear loved one,\u201d said he to his wife. \u201cWhat a superb\nring! Behold! I put it upon my finger.\u201d And he passed it down his whole\nfinger.\n\nStraightway his yard reached out, o\u2019erturned the coachman from his box\nseat, struck one of the mares right beneath the tail, pushed aside the\nanimal, and caused the carriage to go ahead of it.[22]\n\n [22] _Contes Secrets Russes_ translate: \u201cHis yard stretched forth,\n hurled the driver from his seat, passed beyond the team of horses, and\n reached out in front of the carriage for a distance of seven versts.\u201d\n\nThe lady beheld what misfortune had befallen, was greatly affrighted,\nand cried with all her force to the lackey, saying:\n\n\u201cRun most swiftly to the peasant and lead him hither!\u201d\n\nThe lackey sped amain to the peasant and aroused him, saying:\n\n\u201cCome swiftly, my little peasant, to my master!\u201d\n\nThe peasant sought his ring.\n\n\u201cA curse on thee! Thou hast taken my ring!\u201d\n\n\u201cSeek not,\u201d said the lackey. \u201cCome to my master. He hath thy ring,\nwhich hath caused us a great fuss.\u201d\n\nThe peasant ran to the carriage. Quoth the lord to him:\n\n\u201cPardon me, but come to my aid in my misfortune!\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat wilt give me, lord?\u201d\n\n\u201cHere are one hundred roubles.\u201d\n\n\u201cGive me two hundred and I will deliver thee.\u201d\n\nThe lord drew two hundred roubles from his pocket, the peasant took the\nmoney, and withdrew the ring from the lord\u2019s finger, whereat the yard\nvanished as if by magic, and there was left to the lord but his former\nlittle instrument.\n\nThe lord went his way, and the peasant hied him homeward with the ring.\nHis wife was at the window and saw him come; she ran to meet him.\n\n\u201cHast brought it back?\u201d asked she.\n\n\u201cI have.\u201d\n\n\u201cShow it me!\u201d\n\n\u201cCome within the chamber. I cannot show it thee outside.\u201d\n\nThey entered the chamber, nor did the wife cease to repeat: \u201cShow it\nme! Show it me!\u201d\n\nHe placed the ring on his finger-nail, and his yard lengthened a\ncubit\u2019s span; then he drew off his drawers, saying: \u201cBehold, wife!\u201d\n\nThe wife fell on his neck.\n\n\u201cMy dear little husband, here is truly an instrument that will be\nbetter in our house than with strangers. Come swiftly and eat; then we\nwill to bed and make trial of it.\u201d\n\nForthwith she put upon the table all manner of meats and beverages,\nand they fell to eating and drinking. Having feasted, they betook\nthemselves to bed. When he had pierced his wife with this yard, she,\nfor three whole days, was ever peering \u2018neath his garment; it seemed to\nher that the yard was ever thrusting between her legs.\n\nShe went to pay a visit to her mother, what time her husband hied him\nto the garden and lay down \u2018neath an apple tree.\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d asked the mother of her daughter, \u201chave ye bought back the\nyard?\u201d\n\n\u201cWe have bought it back, little mother.\u201d\n\nAnd the mother had but one thought: to steal away, profiting by her\ndaughter\u2019s visit, to run to the house of her son-in-law, and to make\ntrial of his great yard.\n\nAnd while the daughter chattered, the mother came to the house of the\nson-in-law and sped into the garden. The son-in-law was aslumbering;\nthe ring was on his finger nail, and his yard stood erect to the height\nof a cubit\u2019s span.\n\n\u201cI will mount upon his yard,\u201d said the good mother to herself.\n\nAnd she mounted, in sooth, upon the yard, and balanced herself thereon.\n\nBut, by ill fortune, the ring slipped to the base of the finger of the\nson-in-law what time he slept, and the yard raised the good mother to\nthe height of seven versts.\n\nThe daughter perceived that her mother had gone forth, she divined the\nreason, and hastened to return home. In her house there was no one. She\nwent into the garden, and what saw she? Her husband aslumbering, his\nyard raised to a vast height, and, all in the clouds, the good mother,\nscarce visible; and she, when the wind blew, turned upon the yard as\nthough upon a stake.\n\nWhat to do? How remove her mother from off the yard?\n\nA great crowd had come together; they discussed; they proferred\ncounsel. Said some: there is naught for it but to take a hatchet and\ncut the yard. Said others: no, \u2018tis a bad plan. Why lose two souls? For\nas soon as the yard is cut, the woman will fall and kill herself. \u2018Tis\nbetter to pray to God that perchance by some miracle the old woman will\ndisentangle herself from it.\n\nDuring this time the son-in-law awoke, and perceived that his ring\nhad descended to the base of his finger, that his yard raised itself\ntowards the sky to a height of seven versts, and that it nailed him\nsolidly to the earth, in such wise that he could not turn upon his\nother side.\n\nHe withdrew very softly the ring from his finger; his yard descended to\nthe height of a cubit\u2019s span; and the son-in-law saw his mother-in-law\nsuspended upon it.\n\n\u201cHow camest thou there, little mother?\u201d\n\n\u201cPardon, my little son-in-law. I will not do it any more!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n_VARIANT._\n\n\nOnce on a time a tailor possessed a magic ring; as soon as he put it\nupon his finger, his yard assumed an extraordinary development. It fell\nout that he went to work at the house of a woman; by nature he was gay\nand given to jesting, and when he lay down to slumber he neglected\nalways to cover his genitals.\n\nThe woman observed that he had a yard of great proportions; desirous of\nsampling the power of such an instrument, she summoned the tailor to\nher chamber.\n\n\u201cHearken,\u201d quoth she to him. \u201cConsent to sin once with me.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy not, madam? But only on one condition--that thou dost not fart! If\nthou dost fart, thou shalt pay me three hundred roubles.\u201d\n\n\u201cVery good,\u201d answered she.\n\nThey betook themselves to bed; the good woman took all possible\nprecautions not to expel wind during the sexual act; she instructed her\nchambermaid to seek a large onion, to thrust this into her fundament,\nand to hold it there with both hands. These orders were carried out\nminutely, but at the first assault delivered by the tailor upon the\nwoman, the onion was violently expelled and struck the chambermaid\nwith such force that she was killed outright!\n\nThe woman lost her three hundred roubles; the tailor pocketed this sum\nand hied him homeward. Having journeyed some distance, he felt a desire\nto slumber and lay down in a field. He placed the ring upon his finger\nand his yard stretched to the length of one verst. As he lay thus,\nslumber o\u2019ertook him, and whilst he slept came seven starving wolves,\nwhich devoured the greater part of his yard. He awoke as if naught had\nchanced,[23] took the ring from his finger, put it in his pocket, and\npursued his way.\n\n [23] The _Kruptadia_ version says: \u201cAs if flies had just tickled his\n yard.\u201d\n\nCame night, and the tailor entered the house of a peasant. Now this\npeasant had married a young woman who had a liking for well-membered\nmen. The guest went to sleep in the courtyard, leaving his yard\nexposed. Perceiving it, the peasant\u2019s wife felt a great desire; raising\nher robe, she coupled with the tailor.\n\n\u201cGood,\u201d quoth he to himself; and he placed the ring on his finger, and\nhis yard rose little by little to the height of one verst. But when the\nwife perceived herself so far from the earth, all desire to futter left\nher, and she clung with both hands to this strange support in mid-air.\n\nBeholding the peril that beset the wretched woman, her neighbours and\nrelations fell to praying for the safety of both. But the tailor gently\nwithdrew the ring from his finger; gradually the dimensions of his\nmember decreased, and, when it reached but to a small height, the woman\njumped to earth.\n\n\u201cAh! insatiable coynte,\u201d quoth the tailor to her. \u201cIt had been thy\ndeath had they cut my yard.\u201d[24]\n\n [24] The main theme of these foregoing _contes_--the yard which\n increases to gigantic proportions--is not confined to Russian\n folk-lore. In _Kruptadia_, vol. 2: _Some Erotic Folk-Lore from\n Scotland_, we find the following:--A man and a woman were in each\n other\u2019s embraces. The man was succuba. His yard began to enlarge and\n enlarge and lift the woman. When she was nearly reaching the roof she\n exclaimed: \u201cFarewell freens, farewell foes, For I\u2019m awa\u2019 to heaven On\n a pintel\u2019s nose.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nTHE INSTRUMENT.[25]\n\n [25] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1884: _Breton Folk\n Lore_.\n\n\nOnce on a time a youth, wishing to become a smith, quitted his village\nand hired himself as an apprentice to a farrier. His master was a busy\nman, all the beds in his house being filled by his workmen, and when\nevening came he was sore pressed to find sleeping quarters for his\napprentice. Reflecting long, he thus finally argued:--\n\n\u201cIn each bed are several persons; my daughter alone hath one to\nherself. With her will I put the youth to sleep. His parents are good\npeople, and I have known him from boyhood. There is no danger.\u201d\n\nWhen these two were in bed together, the youth began to caress the\ndaughter, a maid nigh unto sixteen years, and since she did not repulse\nhim, he lost no time in showing her how one makes love. The daughter\nfound the business very much to her liking, and Pierre (for so the\napprentice was named) gave her several lessons in this pretty game.\nShe did not tire, and wished that the play might last the whole night\nlong; but Pierre, awearied, would fain have slept. Anon, when he began\nto grow drowsy, she pinched him and snuggled up to him; but he did not\nrespond to her allurements.\n\n\u201cPierre,\u201d said she, \u201cdost play no more with thine implement?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo--\u2019tis used up,\u201d quoth Pierre.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis a pity,\u201d said the girl. \u201cWhy is it not more solid? Would it cost\nmuch to have another?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea--at least three or four hundred francs.\u201d\n\n\u201cI myself have not that sum; but I know where my father keepeth his\nmoney, and on the morrow I will give thee the wherewithal to procure\nanother. What dost thou call it?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis called an \u2018instrument\u2019,\u201d[26] quoth Pierre.\n\n [26] _Frenolle_ is the word in the text--probably a fantastic term,\n since Pierre\u2019s \u201cinstrument\u201d is not known by that name in Haut\n Bretagne. Farmer, in his monumental work _Slang and its Analogues_,\n (Privately Printed, 1890-1904) and Landes (_Glossaire \u00c9rotique de la\n Langue fran\u00e7aise_--Brussels, 1861) do not include the word in their\n comprehensive lists of French erotic synonyms for _penis_. Nor can\n we find mention of it in _Vocabula Amatoria_ (London, 1896). Littr\u00e9,\n even, does not give the word.\n\nIn the morning the girl, taking her father\u2019s money, gave it to the\napprentice, who hied him to the town and made pretence of buying\nanother instrument; and when night came, he played on his instrument to\nthe infinite satisfaction of the girl.\n\nOn the morrow the apprentice received a letter, wherein he learned that\nhis mother lay ill and desired to see him. He started on his journey\nforthwith. Anon the girl appeared, and not seeing the apprentice,\ninquired:\n\n\u201cWhere is Pierre?\u201d\n\nAnd they answered her that he was gone and would return no more.\nWhereat she sped after him, and when she perceived him afar off, cried\nout:--\n\n\u201cPierre! Pierre! At least leave me the instrument!\u201d\n\nPierre, who was in a field at the moment, wrenched up a big turnip, and\ncasting it into a swamp at the feet of the girl, cried out:--\n\n\u201cTake it--\u2019tis there!\u201d\n\nAnd while the girl sought the instrument, he continued on his way.\n\nWith both her eyes she looked, but of Pierre\u2019s instrument could\nperceive no vestige. Anon she sat down on the edge of the swamp and\ngave herself up to tears. Presently there chanced to pass the vicar,\nwho made inquiry as to the cause of her grief.\n\n\u201cOh! thy reverence!\u201d she made answer. \u201cThe instrument hath fallen in\nthe swamp and I cannot recover it. A sad pity, for \u2018tis a precious\ninstrument and cost three or four hundred francs.\u201d\n\n\u201cLet us both seek,\u201d quoth the vicar. \u201cI will aid thee.\u201d\n\nHe tucked up his gown, and both fell to seeking in the swamp, which was\nsomewhat deep. Anon the girl turned her head, and perceiving the vicar\nwith his garments tucked up above his hips, cried out:--\n\n\u201cAh! thy reverence! No need for further search! \u2018Tis thou who hast the\ninstrument \u2018twixt thy legs!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE INSTRUMENT_\n\n\nA variant of the foregoing story, (_The Instrument_), is to be found\nin _Le Moyen de Parvenir_ (B\u00e9roalde de Verville). The editors of\n_Kruptadia_ draw attention to it, quoting the following extract:--\n\nThe simpleton husband Hauteroue, while futtering his wife, remarked:--\n\n\u201cWhat a labour it is, my love!\u201d\n\n\u201cI am not surprised,\u201d quoth she. \u201cThou dost work with a bad implement.\u201d\n\n\u201cI should have a better had I the money.\u201d\n\n\u201cLet not that hinder thee; I will give thee the money on the morrow.\u201d\n\nWhen the husband received his money, he set out to enjoy himself; then\nhe went to bed with his wife, whom he pleasured well.\n\n\u201cHo! my love!\u201d said she. \u201cThis implement is as good as the one thou\nhadst. But, love, what hast done with the other?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have thrown it away, my love.\u201d\n\n\u201cBah! Thou hast made a great mistake. \u2018Twould have served for my\nmother!\u201d\n\n\n\n\nTHE TIMOROUS FIANC\u00c9E.[27]\n\n [27] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: 1883: Henninger Fr\u00e8res: vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_.\n\n\nTwo young girls held converse together. Quoth one:\n\n\u201cLike thee, little one, I, too, will never marry.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd why should we marry against our will?\u201d said the other. \u201cWe have no\nmasters.\u201d\n\n\u201cHast seen, little one, that instrument with which men make trial upon\nus?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have seen it.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd is it not huge?\u201d\n\n\u201cLittle one, it is assuredly of the size of an arm!\u201d\n\n\u201cOne would never come out of it alive.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome, I will tickle thee with a straw.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat also hurteth me.\u201d\n\nThe foolish one lay down, and the wiser fell to tickling her with a\nstraw. \u201cAh! that hurteth!\u201d she repeated.\n\nNow the father of one of the young girls forced her to take a husband;\nshe waited two nights, then went to see her young friend.\n\n\u201cGood day, little one,\u201d she said.\n\nThe latter besought her to relate forthwith what had befallen.\n\n\u201cAh!\u201d answered the young wife. \u201cHad I known, had I truly known the\nbusiness, I had not listened to my father or my mother. I thought to\nlose my life, and my tongue hung from my mouth a foot in length.\u201d\n\nThe young friend was so affrighted that she had no wish to speak\nfurther of fianc\u00e9s.\n\n\u201cI will wed with none,\u201d quoth she. \u201cAnd if my father seeks to employ\nviolence, 1 will espouse, for form\u2019s sake, the first bachelor I\nencounter.\u201d\n\nNow there was in the same village a young lad and a very poor. None\nwould give him a seemly maid in marriage, and he did not desire an ill;\nby chance he overheard the conversation of the young girls.\n\n\u201cWait,\u201d thought he to himself. \u201cI will play a trick on that one. At a\nsuitable moment I will say that I have no yard.\u201d\n\nCame a day when the young girl went to mass; she beheld the lad leading\nhis horse, thin and unshod, to the watering place; the poor beast went\nlimping, and the young girl laughed. They came to a steep slope; the\nmare climbed with difficulty, then fell and rolled on her back. The\nlad was annoyed, seized the mare by her tail, and fell to beating her\nwithout pity, saying:\n\n\u201cGet up! Thou wilt flay all the skin off thyself!\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy beatest thou the horse, brigand?\u201d asked the young girl.\n\nThe lad lifted the tail, looked at it and said:\n\n\u201cAnd what should I do? Futter her? But I have no yard.\u201d\n\nWhen the girl heard his words, she pissed herself with joy, saying:\n\n\u201cBehold! the good God hath sent me a fianc\u00e9 after my liking!\u201d\n\nShe returned to her house, sat down in a secluded corner, and fell to\npouting. Presently all the family seated themselves at table, calling\non her to come, but she replied in anger:\n\n\u201cI will not!\u201d\n\n\u201cCome, Douniouchka,\u201d said the mother. \u201cWhat art thinking of? Tell me.\u201d\n\nThe father intervened.\n\n\u201cWhy dost pout? Perchance thou dost desire to wed? Thou wouldst wed\nwith this one and not with that?\u201d The young girl had but one idea in\nher head: to wed Ivan the No-Yard.\n\n\u201cI will wed,\u201d she replied, \u201cneither this one nor that. An it please ye\nor not, I will wed Ivan.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat sayest thou, little fool? Art enraged, or hast lost thy reason?\nThou wouldst share thy life with him?\u201d\n\n\u201cHe is my destiny. Seek not to marry me to another, else I will drown\nor strangle myself.\u201d\n\nHitherto the old father had not honoured the poverty-stricken Ivan\nwith so much as a look, but now he went himself to the lad to make him\nrelease his daughter. He approached. Ivan was seated, repairing an old\nhempen shoe.\n\n\u201cGood day, Ivanouchka.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood day, old man.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat dost thou?\u201d\n\n\u201cI seek to mend my hempen shoes.\u201d\n\n\u201cShoes? Thou hast need of new boots.\u201d\n\n\u201cSince I have with difficulty amassed fifteen copeks to buy these\nshoes, where shall I find money to purchase boots?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd why dost thou not marry, Vania?\u201d\n\n\u201cWho would give me his daughter?\u201d\n\n\u201cI, if thou wilt! Kiss me on the mouth.\u201d\n\nAnd they came to an understanding.\n\nAt the rich man\u2019s house there was no lack of beer and brandy. The girl\nand the lad were wed forthwith, high feast was held, and then the best\nman conducted the young people to their sleeping chamber and put them\nto bed. One knows the sequel. Ivan pierced the young girl till she bled\nand there was a road by which he might travel.\n\n\u201cWhat a blockhead, what a fool I have been!\u201d thought Dounuka. \u201cWhat\nhave I done? How much better had I taken one richly-endowed! But where\nhath he found this yard? I will question him.\u201d\n\nAnd she questioned him, saying:\n\n\u201cHearken, Ivanouchka. Where hast got this yard?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have hired it from mine uncle for one night.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh! my little dove! Beg it of him for yet another night.\u201d\n\nA second night passed and she said to him again:\n\n\u201cLittle dove! Beg of thine uncle if he will not sell thee the yard\noutright. But bargain well.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood. One can always bargain.\u201d\n\nHe went to the house of his grandsire, came to an understanding with\nhim,[28] and returned to his home.\n\n [28] _Lui donne le mot._ \u201cPut him wise\u201d would be the exact modern\n equivalent.\n\n\u201cWell, what of it?\u201d asked his wife.\n\n\u201cWhat can I say?\u201d answered the lad. \u201cThere was no bargaining with him.\nWe must give him three hundred roubles or he will not yield us the\nyard. And where may we get this sum?\u201d\n\n\u201cAh, well. Return and beg him to hire thee the yard for yet another\nnight. To-morrow I ask my father for the money, and we will buy the\nyard outright.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay--go thyself and ask it of him. In sooth, I dare not.\u201d\n\nShe went to the uncle\u2019s house, entered his apartment, prayed to heaven,\nand bowed, saying:\n\n\u201cGood day, mine uncle.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou art welcome. What good news hast thou?\u201d\n\n\u201cSee, mine uncle, I am shamed to speak, but \u2018twould be a sin an I kept\nsilent. Lend thy yard to Ivan for a night.\u201d\n\nThe relative took counsel with himself, shook his head, and said:\n\n\u201cIt can be lent, but care must be taken of a yard belonging to another.\u201d\n\n\u201cWe will take care of it, uncle. I swear by the Cross. And to-morrow,\nwithout fail, we will buy it outright of thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cGo, then, and send Ivan to me.\u201d\n\nShe bowed to the earth and left the house.\n\nOn the morrow she went to seek her father, asked of him three hundred\nroubles for her husband, and bought for herself a good yard.\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE ENCHANTED RING_, _THE INSTRUMENT_, and _THE TIMOROUS\nFIANC\u00c9E_.\n\n\nEach of the three foregoing stories is remarkable for the fact that\nit contains the same na\u00efve idea--the possibility of purchasing a\nmale \u201cimplement.\u201d The idea is fairly common in folk-lore stories of\nvirginity, but, almost always, results in a highly humorous situation.\nIt is a crude but very effective method of depicting the ignorance,\neven stupidity, of a virgin girl. It also affords the story-teller an\nopportunity of an indirect reference to a favourite theme--the erotic\ntendency of women once their sexual senses are aroused.[29]\n\n [29] _C.f._ _Excursus_ to _The Tale of Kamar al-Zaman_, where the\n subject is discussed at length.\n\nOne episode of _The Enchanted Ring_ (the remarkable qualities of the\nyoung man\u2019s _penis_ when adorned with the ring) can hardly fail to\nrecall \u201c_The Night of Power_,\u201d (Sir Richard F. Burton\u2019s _Thousand\nNights and a Night_), wherein the husband\u2019s organs undergo rapid\nand wonderful transformation. This tale is described by Sir Richard\nBurton as \u201cthe grossest and most brutal satire on the sex, suggesting\nthat a woman would prefer an additional inch of _penis_ to anything\nthis world or the next can offer her.\u201d One cannot help noting, none\nthe less, the indecent anxiety of the mother-in-law, in our story\nfrom _Kruptadia_, to sample the mighty yard of the newly-returned\nhusband.[30]\n\n [30] In _The Night of Power_ we have the story of a man who, believing\n that three prayers would be granted to him, consults his wife as\n to what he shall ask. She advises him to ask Allah to \u201cgreaten and\n magnify his yard.\u201d He does so, whereupon his yard \u201cbecame as big\n as a column, and he could neither sit nor stand nor move about nor\n even stir from his stead; and when he would have carnally known his\n wife, she fled before him from place to place.\u201d In distress the\n husband asks, as his second wish, to be delivered of this burden, and\n \u201cimmediately his prickle disappeared altogether and he became clean\n smooth. When his wife saw this, she said: \u2018I have no occasion for thee\n now thou art become pegless as an eunuch, shaven and shorn.... Pray\n Allah the most High to restore thee thy yard as it was.\u2019 So he prayed\n to his Lord and his prickle was restored to its first estate. Thus\n the man lost his three wishes by the ill counsel and lack of wit in\n the woman.\u201d Our brief summary is taken from Sir Richard F. Burton\u2019s\n translation of _The Thousand Nights and a Night_.\n\n\n\n\nADVENTURES WITH HEDVIGE AND HEL\u00c8NE AT GENEVA.[31]\n\n [31] _Memoirs of Jacques Casanova_: For the first time translated into\n English and Privately Printed, 1894: 12 vols.: 1000 copies only. Also\n _M\u00e9moires de J. Casanova de Seingalt: Garnier Fr\u00e8res_, Paris, N.D. Our\n text is a blend of the two versions.\n\n _Casanova makes the acquaintance of two charming cousins, Hedvige and\n Hel\u00e8ne, at Geneva. After sundry meetings, at which theology and sexual\n matters are discussed in a frank and amusing fashion, Casanova gets\n the chance to take his two charmers for a stroll in the garden where\n they can be sure of immunity from interruption. Casanova\u2019s opportunity\n occurs as a result of Hedvige\u2019s desire to know why a deity could not\n impregnate a woman, a male acquaintance having said that he could not\n with propriety expound such mysteries to her. Casanova gladly agrees\n to make the matter clear, adding, however, that he must be allowed to\n speak quite plainly. The text continues:_\n\n\nYea, speak clearly,\u201d quoth Hedvige, \u201cfor none can hear us; but I am\nforced to confess that I am cognisant of the formation of man only in\ntheory and by lecture. True, I have seen statues, but I have never seen\nand still less have I examined real[32] man. And thou, Hel\u00e8ne?\u201d\n\n [32] _i.e._, naked.\n\n\u201cI have never desired so to do.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy not? \u2018Tis good to know all.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, my charming Hedvige,\u201d said I, \u201cthy theologian wished to tell\nthee that Jesus was not capable of erection.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat is that?\u201d\n\n\u201cGive me thy hand.\u201d\n\n\u201cI feel it and I can picture it; for, without this natural phenomenon,\nman could not impregnate his consort. And this foolish theologian\npretendeth that it is an imperfection!\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, for this phenomenon springeth from desire, for \u2018tis very true\nthat it would not have worked in me, sweet Hedvige, had I not found\nthee charming and had not what I had seen of thee given me the most\nseductive idea of the beauties I see not. Tell me frankly if, after\nfeeling this rigidity of mine, thou dost not experience an agreeable\nsensation?\u201d\n\n\u201cI confess it; \u2018tis precisely where thou pressest. Dost not feel as I,\nmy dear Hel\u00e8ne, an itching and a longing on likening to the very true\ndiscourse given to us by this gentleman?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, I feel it, but I feel it very often, without any discourse\nexciting it.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd then,\u201d quoth I, \u201cNature forceth thee to appease it thus?\u201d\n\n\u201cNot at all.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, that it were so, Hedvige! Even in sleep one\u2019s hand strayeth there\nby instinct; and, lacking this easement, I have read that we should\nsuffer terrible maladies.\u201d\n\nAnd whilst we continued this philosophical converse, which the youthful\ntheologian sustained with an authoritative tone, and which brought a\nlook of voluptuousness to the lovely complexion of her cousin, we came\nto the edge of a fine pool where one descended by a marble staircase\nto bathe. Although it was chilly, our heads were warm, and it came to\nme to propose to the maidens that they put their feet in the water,\nassuring them that it would do them good and, if they permitted me,\nthat I would count it an honour to remove their shoes and stockings.\n\n\u201cCome,\u201d said Hedvige, \u201cI like the project well.\u201d\n\n\u201cI, too,\u201d said Hel\u00e8ne.\n\n\u201cSeat yourselves, ladies, on the first stair.\u201d\n\nBehold them, then, seated, and thy servant, on the fourth stair, busy\nunshoeing them, what time he extolled the beauty of their legs and made\npretence to be incurious at the moment to see higher than the knee.\nThen, having gone down to the water, they had perforce to lift their\ngarments, and in this business I encouraged them.\n\n\u201cAh, well,\u201d remarked Hedvige, \u201cmen also have thighs.\u201d\n\nHel\u00e8ne, who would have felt shame to show less courage than her cousin,\ndid not hang back.\n\n\u201cCome, my charming naiads,\u201d quoth I, \u201c\u2018tis enough. Ye will catch cold\nif ye remain for long in the water.\u201d\n\nThey reascended the staircase backwards, ever holding up their robes\nlest they might wet them; and it fell to me to dry their limbs with\nall the handkerchiefs that I possessed. This pleasant task permitted\nme to see and touch everything at my leisure, and the reader will\nscarce need my word to affirm that I made the best of my opportunity.\nThe pretty niece (Hedvige) declared that I was too curious, but Hel\u00e8ne\nlet me have my way with an air so tender and so languid that I was hard\npressed not to push the matter further. In the end, having again put\non their shoes and stockings, I told them that I was enchanted to have\nviewed the secret charms of the two most lovely ladies in Geneva.\n\n\u201cWhat effect hath it on thee?\u201d asked Hedvige of me.\n\n\u201cI dare not tell ye to look, but feel, both of ye.\u201d\n\n\u201cBathe thou thyself also.\u201d\n\n\u201cImpossible. The business is too long for a man.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut we have yet two full hours to remain here without fear of\ninterruption from anyone.\u201d\n\nThis response caused me to see the happiness that awaited me; but I did\nnot think fit to expose myself to an illness by entering the water in\nthe state in which I was. Seeing a summer-house not far off and assured\nthat M. Tronchin would have left it open, I took my two beauties by\nthe arm and led them thither, not letting them guess, however, my\nintentions.\n\nThe summer-house was full of vases of _pot pourri_, pretty engravings,\nand so forth; but what I valued most was a large and lovely divan, fit\nfor repose and for pleasure. There, seated \u2018twixt these two beauties\nand lavishing caresses upon them, I said that I desired to show them\nthat which they had never seen, at the same time exposing to their gaze\nthe principal agent of humanity. They raised themselves to admire it,\nand then, taking the hand of each one of them, I procured for them a\nconsiderable pleasure; but, in the course of this labour, an abundant\nemission on my part caused them great amazement.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis its speech,\u201d said I. \u201cThe speech of the great creator of men.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis delicious!\u201d cried Hel\u00e8ne, laughing at the term \u2018speech.\u2019\n\n\u201cI, too, have the power of speech,\u201d said Hedvige, \u201cand I will show it\nthee, if thou wilt wait a moment.\u201d\n\n\u201cPut thyself in my hands, sweet Hedvige. I will spare thee the trouble\nof making it come thyself, and I will do it better than thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cI well believe it. But I have never done that with a man.\u201d\n\n\u201cNor I,\u201d said Hel\u00e8ne.\n\nWhen they had placed themselves directly before me, their arms enlaced,\nI made them swoon away afresh. Then, having seated ourselves, what time\nmy hand strayed all over their charms, I let them divert themselves at\ntheir leisure, till in the end I moistened their palms with a second\nemission of the natural moisture, which they examined curiously on\ntheir fingers.\n\nHaving once again put ourselves in a state of decency, we passed yet\nanother half hour in exchanging kisses, after which I told them that\nthey had rendered me partially happy, but, to make the work perfect,\nthat I hoped they would devise a means of granting me their first\nfavours. Then I showed them those preservative sachets which the\nEnglish have invented in order to rid the fair sex of all fear. These\nlittle \u201cpurses,\u201d[33] the use of which I explained to them, excited\ntheir admiration, and Hedvige said to her cousin that she would give\nthought to the matter. Become intimate friends and in good case to\nbecome even better, we took our way towards the house, where we found\nHel\u00e8ne\u2019s mother and the minister walking by the edge of the lake....\n\n [33] _Capote Anglaise_: in slang terms, a French letter or condom. The\n French talk about an \u201cEnglish\u201d letter; we say the reverse.\n\n_Follows now the description of a dinner at which Casanova, Hedvige and\nHel\u00e8ne are present. The text continues:_\n\nHel\u00e8ne shone in solving the questions put to her by the company. M. de\nXimenes begged her to justify as best she might our first mother, who\nhad deceived her husband by causing him to eat the fatal apple.\n\n\u201cEve,\u201d quoth she, \u201cdeceived not her husband; she did but cajole him\ninto eating it in the hope of giving him one more perfection. Moreover,\nEve had not received the prohibition from God but from Adam; in her act\nthere was seduction, not deceit; in all probability her womanly sense\ndid not let her regard the prohibition as serious.\u201d ...\n\n... Another lady then asked her if one might believe the history of the\napple to be symbolical. Hedvige answered:\n\n\u201cI think not, since it could only be a symbol of sexual union, and \u2018tis\nestablished that such was not consummated \u2018twixt Adam and Eve in the\nGarden of Eden.\u201d\n\n\u201cOn this point the learned differ.\u201d\n\n\u201cSo much the worse for them, madam; the Scripture is plain enough.\n\u2018Tis written in the first verse of the fourth chapter that Adam knew\nEve after his expulsion from their terrestrial paradise, and that in\nconsequence she conceived Cain.\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, but the verse sayeth not that Adam did not know her before, and,\nconsequently, he might so have done.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis I cannot allow, for had he known her before she would have\nconceived; \u2018twere foolish to suppose that two creatures, who had just\nquitted God\u2019s hands, and were, in consequence, as nigh perfect as is\npossible, could consummate the act of generation with no result.\u201d\n\n _The conversation now becomes very theological and controversial, and\n we take leave to omit it._\n\n... After dinner ... I went apart with Hel\u00e8ne, who told me that her\ncousin and the pastor would sup with her mother on the following day.\n\n\u201cHedvige,\u201d she added, \u201cwill stay and sleep with me, as is ever her\ncustom when she cometh with her uncle to sup. It remaineth to be seen\nif thou art willing to hide in a spot I will show thee to-morrow at\neleven of the clock, in order to pass the night with us. Call on my\nmother at that hour to-morrow, and I will find means of showing thee\nthe spot....\u201d\n\n... In the morning I paid the mother a visit, and as Hel\u00e8ne was\nescorting me out, she showed me a closed door \u2018twixt the two stairs.\n\n\u201cAt seven hours of the clock,\u201d said she, \u201cthou will find it open, and\nwhen thou art within, put on the bolt. Take care lest any see thee as\nthou enter the house.\u201d\n\n _Casanova, in due course, takes up his position in the hiding place,\n and during his long wait for the two charmers, gives himself up to\n reflection on his past. The text continues:_\n\n... In my long and profligate career, during which I have turned the\nheads of several hundreds of ladies, I have grown familiar with all\nmethods of seduction; but it hath ever been my guiding principle never\nto press my attack against novices or those in whom prejudices were\nlikely to prove an obstacle, save in the presence of another woman.\nTimidity, I soon discovered, maketh a girl averse from seduction; in\ncompany with another girl she is easily conquered; the weakness of one\nbringeth on the fall of the other.\n\nFathers and mothers are of contrary opinion, but they err. They will\nnot trust their daughter to take a walk or go to a ball with a young\nman, but no difficulty is made if she hath another girl with her. I\nrepeat--they err; if the young man hath the requisite skill, their\ndaughter is lost. A sense of false shame hindereth them from making a\ndetermined resistance to seduction, but, the first step taken, the fall\ncometh inevitably and rapidly. One girl, granting some small favour,\nstraightway maketh her friend grant a much greater, thereby to hide her\nown blushes; and if the seducer be clever at his trade, the youthful\ninnocent will soon have travelled too far to be able to draw back. In\naddition, the more innocent the girl, the greater her ignorance of\nseduction\u2019s methods. Ere she hath time to think, pleasure doth attract\nher, curiosity draweth her yet a little further, and opportunity doth\nthe rest.\n\nFor example, \u2018twere possible I had been able to seduce Hedvige without\nHel\u00e8ne, but I am assured I had never succeeded with Hel\u00e8ne had she not\nseen her cousin grant me certain licenses what time she took liberties\nwith me--practices which she thought, doubtless, contrary to the\nmodesty and decorum of a respectable young woman.... I desire what I\nsay to be a warning to fathers and mothers, and to secure me a place in\ntheir esteem, at any rate.\n\nShortly after the pastor had gone I heard three light knocks on my\nprison door. I opened it, and a hand soft as satin grasped mine. My\nwhole being quivered. \u2018Twas Hel\u00e8ne\u2019s hand, and that happy moment had\nalready repaid me for my long waiting.\n\n\u201cFollow me softly,\u201d she said, in a low voice; but scarce had she closed\nthe door ere I, in my impatience, clasped her tenderly in my arms, and\ncaused her to feel the effect which her mere presence had produced on\nme, what time I assured myself of her docility.\n\n\u201cBe prudent, my friend,\u201d said she to me, \u201cand come softly upstairs.\u201d\n\nI followed her as best I might in the darkness, she leading me along a\ngallery into a room without light, the door of which she closed behind\nus, and thence into a lighted chamber, wherein was Hedvige, well nigh\nin a state of nudity. She came to me with open arms on the instant she\nsaw me, and, embracing me ardently, signified her appreciation of my\npatience in my weary prison.\n\n\u201cDivine Hedvige,\u201d quoth I, \u201chad I not loved thee madly, I had not\nstayed one fourth of an hour in that dismal cell; but for thy sake I\nwould readily pass hours there daily till I quit this spot. But let us\nlose no time. To bed!\u201d\n\n\u201cDo ye twain get to bed,\u201d quoth Hel\u00e8ne. \u201cI will couch on the divan.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh!\u201d cried Hedvige. \u201cThink not so. Our fate must be exactly equal.\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, beloved Hel\u00e8ne,\u201d said I, embracing her. \u201cI love thee both with\nequal ardour, and these ceremonies but waste the time wherein I should\nbe convincing ye of my passion. Follow my example. I am about to\ndisrobe and place myself in the midst of the bed. Come lie beside me,\nand ye will see if I love ye as ye are worthy to be loved. If all be\nsafe, I will remain till ye send me away, but whate\u2019er ye do, of your\nmercy extinguish not the light.\u201d\n\nIn the twinkling of an eye, all the while discussing the theory of\nshame with Hedvige the theologian, I presented myself to their gaze\nin the costume of Adam. Hedvige, blushing but fearing, perchance,\nto depreciate herself in my opinion by any further reserve, parted\nwith the last shred of modesty, citing the opinion of St. Clement\nAlexandrinus, who held that in the shirt lay the seat of shame.\n\nI praised unstintingly her charms and the perfection of her form,\nthereby hoping to encourage Hel\u00e8ne, who was disrobing but slowly; but\na charge of mock modesty from her cousin had more effect than all my\npraises. At length this Venus was in a state of nature, covering her\nmost secret parts with one hand, concealing one breast with the other,\nand seeming most sadly shamed of all she could not conceal. Her modest\nconfusion, this strife \u2018twixt expiring modesty and growing passion,\nenchanted me.\n\nHedvige was taller than Hel\u00e8ne, her skin was whiter, and her breasts\ntwice the size of her cousin\u2019s; but in Hel\u00e8ne was more animation, her\nform was more sweetly moulded, and her bust was on the model of the\nVenus de Medici.\n\nBy degrees she became bolder, put at ease by her cousin, and we passed\nseveral moments in admiring each other; then to bed we went. Nature\ncalled loudly, and all we desired was to satisfy its demands. With a\ncoolness that I did not fear would fail me, I made a woman of Hedvige,\nand when all was o\u2019er she kissed me, saying that the pain was naught\ncompared to the pleasure.\n\nNext came the turn of Hel\u00e8ne, who was six years younger than Hedvige;\nbut the finest \u201cfleece\u201d[34] that e\u2019er I saw presented something of an\nobstacle. This she parted with her two hands, being jealous of her\ncousin\u2019s success; and although she was not initiated into the mysteries\nof love without woeful pain, her sighs were truly sighs of happiness as\nshe responded to my ardent efforts. Her charms and vivacious movements\ncaused me to shorten the sacrifice, and when I quitted the sanctuary my\ntwo beauties perceived I was in need of repose.\n\n [34] \u201cFleece,\u201d of course, is an accepted erotic term for pubic hair\n (Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_); _c.f._ also the French term\n _toison_. Hel\u00e8ne\u2019s hirsute adornment is in keeping with psychological\n precept--that hairiness and sensuality go hand in hand. Havelock\n Ellis, in his _Studies_, quotes numerous authorities who are strongly\n of this opinion, (vol. 5: _Erotic Symbolism_). Lombroso, he adds,\n found that prostitutes generally tend to be hairy. In another volume\n of his _Studies_, Havelock Ellis relates the history of a man for\n whom a hirsute _mons veneris_ always had a peculiar attraction.\n \u201cWhen accosted by prostitutes,\u201d says the subject of this history,\n \u201cI would never go with them unless assured that the _mons veneris_\n was very hirsute.\u201d That genial old soldier Brant\u00f4me (_Lives of Fair\n and Gallant Ladies_: Translated by A. R. Allinson: Paris, Charles\n Carrington, 1901) says: \u201cI have heard speak of a certain great lady,\n and I have known her myself and do know her still, who is all shaggy\n and hairy over the chest, stomach, shoulders and all down the spine,\n and on her bottom, like a savage.... The proverb hath it, no person\n thus hairy is ever rich or wanton; but verily in this case the lady\n is both the one and the other, I can assure you....\u201d Brant\u00f4me also\n speaks of women who \u201chave hair in that part not curly at all, but\n so long and drooping, you would say they were the moustachios of a\n Saracen\u2019s head. Nathless they do never remove this fleece, but prefer\n to have it so, seeing there is a saying: \u2018A grassgrown path and a\n hairy coynte are both good roads to ride.\u2019 ... I have heard speak of\n another fair and honourable lady which did have the hair of this part\n so long she would entwine the same with strings or ribbons of silk,\n crimson and other colours, and have them curled like the curls of a\n wig, and attached to her thighs. And in such guise would she show her\n _motte_ to her husband or lover. Or else she would unwind the ribbons\n and cords, so that the hair did remain after in curl, and looking\n prettier so than it would otherwise have done.\u201d Elsewhere Brant\u00f4me\n tells of a gentleman of his acquaintance who, while sleeping with a\n very beautiful lady, \u201cand one of good condition, and doing his devoir\n with her, did find in that part sundry hairs so sharp and prickly that\n \u2018twas with all the difficulty in the world he could finish, so sharply\n did these prick and pierce him....\u201d Abnormal growth of pubic hair is\n by no means confined to _conte_ and fable. Jahn, says Havelock Ellis\n in his _Studies_, delivered a woman whose pubic hair was longer than\n that of her head, reaching below her knees. Paulini also knew a woman\n \u201cwhose pubic hair nearly reached her knees and was sold to make wigs.\n Bartholin mentions a soldier\u2019s wife who plaited her pubic hair behind\n her back.\u201d (_Erotic Symbolism_). We have no actual evidence that\n Hel\u00e8ne\u2019s growth was of these abnormal dimensions, but it was obviously\n out of the ordinary to provoke comment from a man of Casanova\u2019s\n experience.\n\nThe altar was purified of the blood of the victims, and we all bathed,\nenchanted to serve one another.\n\nLife returned to me \u2018neath their curious fingers, and the sight filled\nthem with joy.... For several hours I overwhelmed them with happiness,\npassing five or six times from one to the other before exhausting\nmyself and arriving at the ecstatic spasm. In the intervals, perceiving\nthem docile and desirous, I made them execute Aretin\u2019s most complicated\npostures, a business that amused them beyond measure.[35] We were\nlavish with our kisses on whatever part took our fancy, and just as\nHedvige applied her lips to the mouth of the pistol, it went off and\nthe discharge inundated her face and her bosom. She was delighted, and\nstudied the eruption to an end with all the curiosity of a physician.\n\n [35] Pietro Aretino, author of _The Ragionamenti_, is generally\n supposed to have enumerated a variety of postures in which the\n venereal act might be performed. To the many he is known solely as\n \u201cthe man of the postures.\u201d This particular claim to distinction is,\n to say the least, a matter much in dispute, but we will reserve\n discussion of the question for Vol. 2 of _Anthologica Rarissima_,\n where lavish excerpts from Aretino\u2019s works will be given.\n\nThe night seemed short, though we had not lost a moment\u2019s space, and\nat daybreak we had to part. 1 left them in bed, being fortunate to get\naway observed of none.\n\n _In the evening, after supper, Casanova contrives another meeting with\n his charmers._\n\n... Going out with my heroines, I worked wonders. Hedvige philosophised\nover the pleasure, and told me that she would ne\u2019er have tasted it\nhad I not chanced to encounter her uncle. Hel\u00e8ne did not speak; more\nvoluptuous than her cousin, she swelled out like a dove, and came\nto life only to expire a moment after. I wondered at her amazing\nfecundity, although such is not uncommon; while I was engaged in one\noperation, she passed fourteen times from life to death. True, \u2018twas\nthe sixth course I had run, so I made my pace somewhat slower to enjoy\nthe pleasure she took in the business....\n\n _After passing another night with the cousins, Casanova again sets out\n on his travels; and here, for the time being, we will leave him._\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _ADVENTURES WITH HEDVIGE AND HEL\u00c8NE AT GENEVA_.\n\n\nJacques Casanova, Chevalier de Seingalt, Knight of the Golden Spur,\nand one of the most remarkable figures in history and letters, was\nborn on April 2nd, 1725. To-day, nearly two hundred years afterwards,\nhis _Memoirs_ are more vivid and readable than anything penned by our\ncontemporary writers.\n\n\u201cHe who opens these wonderful pages,\u201d says the English translator in\nhis preface, \u201cis as one who sits in a theatre and looks across the\ngloom, not on a stage-play, but on another and a vanished world. The\ncurtain draws up, and suddenly a hundred and fifty years are rolled\naway, and in bright light stands out before us the whole life of the\npast; the gay dresses, the polished wit, the careless morals, and all\nthe revel and dancing of those merry years before the mighty deluge of\nthe Revolution.\n\n\u201cThe palaces and marble stairs of old Venice are no longer desolate,\nbut thronged with scarlet-robed senators, prisoners with the doom of\nthe Ten upon their heads cross the Bridge of Sighs, at dead of night\nthe nun slips out of the convent gate to the dark canal where a gondola\nis waiting, we assist at the _parties fines_ of cardinals, and we see\nthe bank made at faro.\n\n\u201cVenice gives place to the assembly rooms of Mrs. Cornely and the fast\ntaverns of the London of 1760; we pass from Versailles to the Winter\nPalace of St. Petersburg in the days of Catherine, from the policy of\nthe Great Frederick to the lewd mirth of strolling-players, and the\npresence-chamber of the Vatican is succeeded by an intrigue in a garret.\n\n\u201cIt is indeed a new experience to read this history of a man who,\nrefraining from nothing, has concealed nothing; of one who stood in\nthe courts of Louis the Magnificent for Madame de Pompadour and the\nnobles of the _ancien r\u00e9gime_, and had an affair with an adventuress of\nDenmark Street, Soho; who was bound over to keep the peace by Fielding,\nand knew Cagliostro.\n\n\u201cThe friend of popes and kings and noblemen, and of all the male and\nfemale ruffians and vagabonds of Europe, abb\u00e9, soldier, charlatan,\ngamester, financier, diplomatist, _viveur_, philosopher, virtuoso,\n\u2018chemist, fiddler, and buffoon\u2019, each of these, and all of these, was\nGiacomo Casanova, Chevalier de Seingalt, Knight of the Golden Spur.\u201d\n\nThe English translation of Casanova\u2019s _Memoirs_, from which the\nforegoing is taken, is a valuable work. To-day the twelve volume set,\nof which 1,000 copies were privately printed in 1894, commands anything\nfrom thirty to forty-five pounds in the sale-room or book-seller\u2019s\nshop. We have been told that the printer of this English version was\nprosecuted, and all copies of the work confiscated by the police, who\nwere ordered to burn them. Further, we are told that the copies we buy\nand read to-day are the copies burned by the police.\n\nIf this be so, all honour to the police, for the destruction of any\nscholarly rendering of these _Memoirs_ can only be described as an act\nof vandalism. Because Casanova is not for the multitude, does it follow\nhe is not for the few? Translated into the English tongue, Casanova\u2019s\n_Memoirs_ must be \u201cprivately printed\u201d by reason of his plain speech\nin the matter of amorous intrigue, yet, were every erotic word and\nscene expunged, the work would still be of fascinating interest and\ninestimable value to the student of history. There exists a bowdlerised\nand abridged edition of these _Memoirs_; we have never seen, and we\nnever wish to see, this work. A study of life, without a leavening of\nhuman nature, is worse than useless.\n\nCasanova, if any reliance is to be set on his writings, was a sexual\nathlete--a member of that rare and remarkable class of men who are\ncapable of amazing feats in the lists of love. Frequent reference is\nmade to his prowess and observations by the great sexual psychologists,\nHavelock Ellis in particular. Bloch, (_The Sexual Life of Our Time_),\nquoting from a work by Oscar A. H. Schmitz, has some interesting\nremarks to make on the character of Casanova.\n\n\u201cCasanova,\u201d he says, \u201cis pre-eminently the erotic, also crafty and\ndeceitful (seducer), not, however, for the gratification of his need\nof power, but rather for the agreeable satisfaction of his need for\nsensual love; ... for Casanova each one is \u2018the woman\u2019 ... Casanova\nis human, cares always for the happiness of the woman he loves, and\ndevotes to them a tender reflection; ... Casanova is the typical\nfeminist, he possesses a profound understanding of woman\u2019s soul, is not\ndisappointed by love, and needs for his life\u2019s happiness continuous\ncontact with feminine natures....\u201d\n\n\u201cWhatever I have done in the course of my life,\u201d says Casanova,[36]\n\u201cwhether it be good or evil, has been done freely; I am a free\nagent.... Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in\nit.... Man is free; yet we must not suppose he is at liberty to do\neverything he pleases, for he becomes a slave the moment he allows his\nactions to be ruled by his passions. The man who has sufficient power\nover himself to wait until his nature has recovered its even balance is\nthe truly wise man, but such beings are seldom met with....\n\n [36] English translation of the Author\u2019s Preface.\n\n\u201cThe sanguine temperament rendered me very sensible to the attractions\nof voluptuousness.... The chief business of my life has always been to\nindulge my senses; I never knew anything of greater importance. I felt\nmyself born for the fair sex, I have ever loved it dearly, and I have\nbeen loved by it as often and as much as I could....\n\n\u201c ... Should anyone bring against me an accusation of sensuality he\nwould be wrong, for all the fierceness of my senses never caused\nme to neglect any of my duties.... I have always been fond of\nhighly-seasoned, rich dishes.... As for women, I have always found the\nodour of my beloved ones exceeding pleasant....\n\n\u201c ... It may be that certain love scenes will be considered too\nexplicit, but let no one blame me, unless it be for lack of skill, for\nI ought not to be scolded because, in my old age, I can find no other\nenjoyment but that which recollections of the past afford to me. After\nall, virtuous and prudish readers are at liberty to skip over any\noffensive pictures, and I think it my duty to give them this piece of\nadvice....\n\n\u201c ... My Memoirs are not written for young persons who, in order to\navoid false steps and slippery roads, ought to spend their youth in\nblissful ignorance, but for those who, having thorough experience\nof life, are no longer exposed to temptation, and who, having but\ntoo often gone through the fire, are like salamanders, and can be\nscorched by it no more.... I have no hesitation in saying that the\nreally virtuous are those persons who can practise virtue without the\nslightest trouble; such persons are always full of toleration, and it\nis to them that my Memoirs are addressed....\u201d\n\nCasanova, as he himself tells us, was three score and twelve years\nwhen he wrote his _Memoirs_. The writing, he adds, was both a solace\nand a pleasure. Nevertheless, as the English translator says in his\nappendix, \u201cthe last five years of his life were passed in petty\nmortifications.... Death came to him somewhat as a release. He received\nthe sacraments with devotion, exclaimed: \u2018Great God, and all ye who\nwitness my death, I have lived a philosopher and I die a Christian,\u2019\nand so died--a quiet ending to a wonderfully brilliant and entirely\nuseless career.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nTHE DAMSEL AND THE PRINCE.[37]\n\n [37] Masuccio: _The Novellino_, translated into English by W. G.\n Waters: London, Lawrence and Bullen, 1895.\n\n_A young lady being enamoured of the Prince of Salerno sends for one\nof his chaplains and declares to him that she has received from the\nsaid prince numerous letters praying for her love. The chaplain, having\ndivined her motive, enters into a plot with her and brings the affair\nto the issue desired._\n\n\nAt that time when our most glorious lord and king, Don Fernando,\nwas entertaining Naples, according to his constant use, with those\njoustings, those marvellous hunting parties, and those sumptuous\nfestivals which were famed far and wide, it chanced that amongst\nthe other merry-makers was a certain young damsel, of beauty\nalmost unrivalled, and a scion of one of the noblest houses of our\nParthenopean city.\n\nNow for some time past she had often let her eyes regale themselves\nwith the beauty and the grace of form belonging to my most illustrious\nlord, the Prince of Salerno, and beyond this had heard sung, over and\nover again, the praises of his extraordinary worth. By this time she\nwas more than ever captivated by him, wherefore she became so lovesick\nthat she could only give thought to the gentleman by whom her fancy had\nbeen ensnared.\n\nAfter she had let her thoughts ... engage themselves in many and divers\nplans by which she might honourably achieve the victory in so worthy\nan adventure, she found that all these schemes were over-difficult to\ncompass; wherefore it more than once came into her head that she would\nfollow the advice of certain other ladies of her acquaintance, who,\nwhenever they found they could not refrain from entering the lists of\nlove, were wont to send word to the gallant youths beloved of them and\nchallenge them to the amorous warfare.\n\nBut this damsel, who was gifted with no small prudence, and was\npersuaded at the same time that she would not, by following such a\ncourse, be setting a very high value either upon herself or upon her\nundertaking, suddenly determined that she would make trial of a novel\nand very crafty stratagem to induce the prince aforesaid to cull the\nfirst fruits of her virgin garden. Having chosen a time when the prince\nhad gone to other parts for diversion in the chase, she let come to her\na certain priest, a man whom she could fully trust, and one who was\nmuch about the house, and to him she gave directions as to what she\nwould have him do.\n\n _This priest now brings Fra Paulo, the chaplain and the prince\u2019s\n most trusted attendant, to the damsel who alleges the receipt of\n impassioned love-letters from the prince. She is at a loss to know\n whether these letters have been concocted by one of her brothers with\n a view to putting her constancy to proof, or whether they have really\n been written by the prince who \u201cis in sooth taken with love of me,\n seeing that I have at times kept my eyes fixed upon him somewhat more\n than was due.\u201d The text continues_:--\n\nWith these, and with other words of a like character, which had been\nprepared with the most consummate art, she laid before the chaplain\nthe letters aforesaid, by way of giving him still farther assurance of\nthe truth of her craftily devised discourse. Fra Paulo, although, as a\nprudent man, and as one accustomed to bring contests of this sort to\na victorious issue, he had fully detected and comprehended the hidden\nwishes and purpose of the young lady, nevertheless, as she went on step\nby step with her reasonings and arguments, was astonished at finding so\ngreat ingenuity and astuteness in the brain of a damsel so delicate and\nyouthful.\n\nStill, as he remarked more than once that, whenever she mentioned the\nname of his lord the prince, her face changed colour, he understood\nthat the passion which possessed her must be indeed burning and fierce.\nWherefore he determined to let this same wind speed his own bark over\nsuch a pleasant sea, and he thus made answer to her:--\n\n\u201cLady mine, because of your kindness, you have thought well enough of\nme to unveil to me your secret affairs, you may rest assured that,\nno less for the preservation of your own good name than for the\nsafeguarding of my lord\u2019s, I will deal with this matter with all that\nsilence and secrecy which, according to your judgement and mine as\nwell, the gravity and importance of the same demand....\n\n\u201c ... I declare once for all that these letters were never written\nby my lord; in sooth, if they had been his handiwork, I should have\nmarvelled amain, because it is his custom never to write with his own\nhand to any woman, however fiercely his passion may be kindled for her,\nunless he may first have made proof of her love.... At the outset of\nall his love affairs the letters and messages thereanent are written\nand arranged by the agency of the chamberlain, who is in his closest\nconfidence. Wherefore I hold it for certain that these same letters\nmust be from the hands of this man....\n\n\u201c ... Many a time, when I have chanced to be discoursing concerning the\nbeauty of women with my lord, he, with a little sigh, which he seemed\nfain to repress, has never ceased to place you before all other ladies.\nAnd although his words are rare and few and sententious, he has full\noften let me know secretly that you are the only one to whom he has\nentirely given his love.\n\n\u201cTherefore meseems that ... you should give me authority to act, so I\nmay be able to place the whole matter together with your own doubts\nand fears, before the notice of my lord.... And in order that you may\nspeedily be informed of the answer, and that the affair may be kept no\nlong time in suspense, it will behove you to be on the watch for me,\nfor when you shall see me pass by your house, and call to a certain boy\nwho will be standing opposite thereto, you may be assured that I have\ndone my errand, and on the following morning let us meet once more in\nthis same spot.\u201d\n\nThe young lady, deeming that she had assuredly gulled the friar by\nher trick, and that her plot could not now fail to come to an issue\nperfectly satisfactory to her, was so greatly overjoyed that it seemed\nto her as if she had in sooth been crowned by Heaven.... Then, having\nbrought their discourse to an end, and each one being in a contented\nmood, though for a different cause, they went their several ways.\n\nAs Fortune willed it ... the friar was met by the news that the prince\nhad already taken the road with the intention of being in Naples on\nthe following day. Wherefore Fra Paulo, having gone out to meet him,\nwas mightily glad to let him know the whole history of the craft of\nthe amorous damsel, and of the scheme which she had framed. The prince\ngave ear to the same with no less amazement than pleasure; for, albeit\nhe had rarely cast his eyes upon this young girl, and retained no\nrecollection of her beauty, nevertheless it seemed to him to be only\njust and right that he should hold dear those who loved him. So he made\nanswer to the friar, and bade him set the business in progress in such\nwise that the meeting might be brought to pass at the earliest possible\ntime.\n\nThe friar, pleased beyond measure and eager to do service to the\nprince, betook himself towards the house of the damsel as soon as\nhe had dismounted from his beast. Then, having made the sign which\nhad been agreed between themselves--a sign which she observed and\nunderstood with the utmost pleasure--the damsel duly repaired on the\nfollowing morning to the spot which had been chosen; and there, when\nshe met the friar, he said to her:--\n\n\u201cMy dear lord, who for your pleasure arrived last night in Naples,\ncommends himself to you. I have set before him at full length the\npurport of the converse betwixt you and me, but I could not draw from\nhis lips any other reply except that he prays and conjures you, by the\nperfect love which he has for so long a time borne and still bears to\nyou, and also by that love which you should dutifully entertain towards\nhim, that it will please you, on this same evening, to give him a\nkindly audience in order that he may, without needing to confide in any\nliving man, lay bare to you those matters which he has kept hitherto,\nand still keeps, secured by a strong lock within his passionate breast.\u201d\n\nThe young woman, who, as she listened to these words, was so vastly\noverjoyed that she could with difficulty contain herself within her\nskin, now felt that every hour would be as a thousand years until she\nshould find herself engaged in the supreme conclusions of love; and,\nafter a few feeble denials and hesitations, answered that she was ready\nto do what the prince desired. She did not quit the friar\u2019s company\nuntil they had, in discreet wise, settled when and in what manner and\nin what place she and the prince should come together for the amorous\nbattle.\n\nThe friar then betook himself straightway to his beloved lord and\nprince, who indeed was awaiting him and his answer. Then he set forth\neverything to the prince, who, when himseemed that the appointed time\nhad come, went with his attendants to the meeting-place, and there he\nfound the lovely young damsel, who, delicately arrayed and perfumed,\nreceived him with open arms and exceeding great delight.\n\nThen, after countless kisses had been given and received by the prince,\nthey got on board their bark, and after the helm had been duly set and\nthe sails spread to the wind, the damsel, what though she was not as\nyet greatly versed in the mariner\u2019s art, let her lover navigate the sea\nof love during all the time they were able to spend together. When at\nlast they found themselves with great delight once more in port, the\ndamsel, tenderly clasping the neck of the prince with her arms, thus\naddressed him:--\n\n\u201cMy sweetest lord, for that I alone, aided by my own skill and\nforethought, have succeeded in bringing you hither this first time I\nhave but to thank myself, but for the future I must leave to the care\nof you and of Love the devising of the means whereby you may be able to\nshow me further proofs of your passion. Now there remains nothing more\nfor me to say except that I recommend myself without ceasing to your\nfavour.\u201d\n\nThereupon the illustrious lord the prince heartened her with soft\nand tender words, and they then took leave of one another with great\npleasure and delight; and if anyone should still wish to know whether,\nand in what fashion, this love of theirs bore further fruit, let him\ninquire on his own behalf.\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE DAMSEL AND THE PRINCE_.\n\nBecause Masuccio--so far as the general public is concerned--may be\ncounted among the lesser-known of the Novellieri of the Cinquecento, it\nmay not be inappropriate to give a few details of his life and work.\nTo this purpose we cannot do better than quote from the admirable\nintroduction to Mr. W. G. Waters\u2019 translation of the _Novellino_,\nwhence is taken our story of _The Damsel and the Prince_.\n\nMasuccio, says Mr. Waters, \u201cwas probably born about 1420.... Seeing\nthat he was Sanseverino\u2019s secretary, and that the great majority of his\nnovels are dedicated to prominent Neapolitans, it may be assumed that\nhis life was chiefly spent in Naples and the neighbourhood.... After\n1474 Masuccio fades entirely from view....\n\n\u201cMasuccio seems to have rated himself as one with a message to deliver\n... his phraseology gives one the impression that he wrote with\nhis feelings at white heat.... In the very Prologue to the work he\nannounces his primary theme, by proclaiming himself the scourger of\npriestly vices.... If the words which a man speaks or writes are ever\nto be taken as evidence of the mind that is in him, then assuredly\nMasuccio may be credited with ardent hatred of the offences he\ndenounces.[38] Putting aside occasional lapses into licentiousness of\nexpression as accidents inseparable from the age in which he wrote, it\nis almost impossible to doubt his sincerity as a would-be reformer of\nmanners....\n\n [38] Masuccio, of course, cannot claim any peculiar virtue in this\n respect, lust in the guise or under the cloak of religion being a\n favourite theme of medi\u00e6val and even later novelists. We shall deal\n at length with the subject in the second volume of _Anthologica\n Rarissima: The Way of a Priest_.\n\n\u201c ... Masuccio\u2019s canvas is a limited one. A few of his stories are in\nthe vein of genuine buffo, a few more are tragedies pure and simple,\nbut the majority of the residue will be found to treat of one or other\nof his two particular themes, the castigation of profligate clerics\nand unchaste women. He devotes one part of the work to each of these\nspecially; but in the other parts he never lets a friar or a woman\nescape the lash if he finds the chance of laying it on.\n\n\u201cThe most scathing passages ... are those which occur here and there\nin the \u2018Masuccio\u2019 at the end of his stories.... As an instance may\nbe quoted the conclusion to Novel XXIII., in which, after screaming\nhimself hoarse over the crimes of women, he finishes with these words:--\n\n\u201c\u2018Would that it had been God\u2019s pleasure and Nature\u2019s to have suffered\nus to be brought forth from the oak-trees, or indeed to have been\nengendered from water and mire like the frogs in the humid rains of\nsummer, rather than to have taken our origin from so base, so corrupt,\nand so vilely fashioned a sex as womankind.\u2019\u201d\n\nAs a further example of Masuccio\u2019s hatred of women, Mr. Waters cites\n\u201cthe frightful indictment at the end of Novel VI. which he prefers\nagainst women who put on the habit of religious houses.\u201d We might do\nworse than quote it:--\n\n\u201c ... I keep silence, likewise, concerning all that might be said on\nthe subject of the marriage of these women with friars ... how they\nmake sumptuous marriage feasts, inviting thereto from this convent\nand that their friends, who present themselves with equipages laden\nwith all manner of rich goods.... With the consent of the abbess and\nof their prelate they execute marriage contracts, duly written and\nsealed; and then, having supped off all manner of sumptuous meats, and\nperformed every other ceremony pertaining to the rite of marriage, they\ngo to bed one with another without showing any fear or shame, just as\nif their union had been contracted with the full sanction of their own\nfathers, and by the laws of marriage....\u201d[39]\n\n [39] _C.f._ _The New Metamorphosis, or The Golden Ass of Apuleius\n altered and improved to Modern Times_, by Carlo Socio: London, 1822,\n extracts from which, exactly germane to Masuccio\u2019s denunciation, will\n be found in vol. 2 of _Anthologica Rarissima: The Way of a Priest_.\n\nSpace will not permit us, however, to deal _in extenso_ with\nMasuccio\u2019s hatred of priest and woman. We can best refer the reader\nto his _Novellino_, or to such extracts as we shall make from them\nin subsequent volumes of _Anthologica Rarissima_. Our purpose, in\nthe foregoing sketch, was to give some slight impression of the aims\nand mentality of the author of the two stories reproduced in this\nparticular volume.\n\n\n\n\nTHE PENITENT NUN.[40]\n\n [40] J. S. Farmer: _Merry Songs and Ballads_: vol. 5: by John Lockman:\n from _Musical Miscellany_, (1731). Farmer, of course, is the editor\n and compiler of _Slang and its Analogues_, to which we make constant\n reference.\n\n\n    Dame _Jane_ a sprightly Nun, and gay,\n        And formed of very yielding Clay,\n    Had long with resolution strove\n        To guard against the Shafts of Love.\n    Fond _Cupid_ smiling, spies the Fair,\n        And soon he baffles all her Care,\n    In vain she tries her Pain to smother,\n        The Nymph too frail, the Nymph too frail, becomes a Mother.\n\n    But no, these little Follies o\u2019er,\n        She firmly vows she\u2019ll sin no more;\n    No more to Vice will fall a Prey,\n        But spend in Prayer each fleeting Day.\n    Close in her Cell immur\u2019d she lies,\n        Nor from the Cross removes her Eyes;\n    Whilst Sisters crouding at the Crate,\n        Spend all their Time, spend all their Time in Worldly Prate.\n\n    The Abbess, overjoy\u2019d to find\n        This happy Change in Jenny\u2019s Mind,\n    The rest, with Air compos\u2019d, addressing,\n        \u201cDaughters, if you expect a Blessing,\n    \u201cFrom pious _Jane_, Example take,\n        \u201cThe World and all its Joys forsake.\u201d\n    \u201cWe will (they all replied as One)\n        \u201cBut first let\u2019s do as _Jane_ has done.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nBEYOND THE MARK.[41]\n\n [41] _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_: \u201cnow first done into the English\n tongue by Robert B. Douglas, (_One Hundred Merrie and Delightsome\n Stories_)\u201d: Paris, Charles Carrington, 1899 (?): 82nd story. The\n editors of _Anthologica Rarissima_ have taken slight liberties with\n Mr. Douglas\u2019 translation, deeming archaic phraseology more fitting to\n the atmosphere of the narrative.\n\n_Of a shepherd who made an agreement with a shepherdess that he should\nmount upon her \u201cin order that he might see farther,\u201d but was not to\npenetrate beyond a mark which she herself made with her hand upon the\ninstrument of the said shepherd--as will more plainly appear hereafter._\n\n\nListen, an it please ye, to what happened, near Lille, to a shepherd\nand a young shepherdess who tended their flocks together, or near\ntogether.\n\nNature had already stirred in them, and they were of an age to know\n\u201cthe way of the world,\u201d so one day an agreement was made between them\nthat the shepherd should mount on the shepherdess \u201cin order to see\nfarther,\u201d[42]--provided, however, that he should not penetrate beyond\na mark which she made with her hand upon the natural instrument of the\nshepherd, and which was about two fingers\u2019 breadth below the head; and\nthe mark was made with a blackberry taken from the hedge.\n\n [42] The phrase has passed into use as an accepted slang term for the\n sexual act.\n\nThat being done, they began God\u2019s work, and the shepherd pushed in as\nthough it had cost him no trouble, and without thinking about any mark\nor sign, or the promise he had made to the shepherdess, for all that\nhe had it buried up to the hilt, and if he had had more he would have\nfound a place to put it.\n\nThe pretty shepherdess, who had never had such a wedding, enjoyed\nherself so much that she would willingly have done nothing else all\nher life. The battle being ended, both went to look after their sheep,\nwhich had meanwhile strayed some distance. They being brought together\nagain, the shepherd, who was called Hacquin, to pass the time, sat in a\nswing set up between two hedges, and there he swung, as happy as a king.\n\nThe shepherdess sat by the side of a ditch, and made a wreath of\nflowers. She sang a little song, hoping that it would attract the\nshepherd, and he would begin the game over again; but that was very far\nfrom his thoughts. When she found he did not come, she began to call:\n\u201cHacquin! Hacquin!\u201d\n\nAnd he replied: \u201cWhat wantest thou?\u201d\n\n\u201cCome hither! Come hither! Wilt thou?\u201d said she.\n\nBut Hacquin had had a surfeit of pleasure and made answer:\n\n\u201cIn God\u2019s name, leave me alone. I do naught. I enjoy myself.\u201d\n\nThen the shepherdess cried:\n\n\u201cCome hither, Hacquin; I will let thee go in further, without making\nany mark.\u201d\n\n\u201cBy St. John,\u201d said Hacquin, \u201cI went far beyond the mark, and I do not\nwant any more.\u201d\n\nHe would not go to the shepherdess, who was much vexed to have to\nremain idle.[43]\n\n [43] _Songs of the Groves: Records of the Ancient World_, (The Vine\n Press: Steyning, Sussex: 1921), has a singularly charming account\n of a rustic courtship. _The Wooing_, the poem to which we refer, is\n a rendering from the Greek of Theocritus, and is remarkable for the\n vivid picture conjured up before our eyes in a few lines of verse.\n Daphnis, a young shepherd, and a maiden, discourse of love and\n marriage; eventually she yields to his passion:--\n\n    \u201c_Remove your hand, you satyr; do not seek my blossoms so!_\u201d\n    \u201c_Just a first glance! Oh! I must see those snowy flowers of mine!_\u201d\n    \u201c_O Pan! O Pan! I\u2019m fainting! Take away that hand of thine!_\u201d\n    \u201c_Darling, look up! Don\u2019t tremble so! Why fear your Lycidas?_\u201d\n    \u201c_Oh, Daphnis! I shall spoil my robe; it\u2019s filthy on this grass._\u201d\n    \u201c_But--just see here!--the softest fleece over your robe I\u2019ve\n      thrown._\u201d\n    \u201c_Ah me! Oh! Don\u2019t undo my belt! Why do you loose my zone?_\u201d\n    \u201c_Because the Paphian Queen must have it for an offering._\u201d\n    \u201c_Some one will come! I hear a noise! Leave off, you cruel thing!_\u201d\n    \u201c_A noise? My cypresses: they murmur how my darling weds._\u201d\n    \u201c_Oh, I am bare! You\u2019ve torn my robe into a string of shreds!_\u201d\n    \u201c_A better robe I\u2019ll give you soon; a larger robe I\u2019ll buy._\u201d\n    \u201c_Oh, yes! You\u2019ll give me all, when soon salt even you\u2019ll deny._\u201d\n    \u201c_Oh, I could pour my soul into you for your dear delight!_\u201d\n    \u201c_Forgive, O Artemis, forgive your faithless acolyte._\u201d\n    \u201c_Venus shall have an ox; a calf for Cupid I will burn._\u201d\n    \u201c_A virgin came I hither, but a woman shall return._\u201d\n    \u201c_The nurse, the mother, of my babes, now never more a maid._\u201d\n    _So with young limbs entwined in love all joyously they played,\n    Soft-murmuring each to each; then from their secret couch they leap:\n    She, when she had arisen, went away to feed her sheep;\n    Shame was in her eyes, but her heart beat high above:\n    Joyous, he went to feed his flocks, glad from the bed of love._\n\n\n\n\nTHE DEVIL IN HELL.[44]\n\n [44] _The Decameron_ of Giovanni Boccaccio, translated by John Payne,\n Villon Society, 1884. See _Excursus_ to this story.\n\n\nIn the city of Capsa in Barbary there was aforetime a very rich man,\nwho, among his other children, had a fair and winsome young daughter,\nby name Alibech. She, not being a Christian and hearing many Christians\nwho abode in the town mightily extol the Christian faith and the\nservice of God, one day questioned one of them in what manner one\nmight avail to serve God with the least hindrance. The other answered\nthat they best served God who most strictly eschewed the things of the\nworld, as those did who had betaken them into the solitudes of the\ndeserts of Theba\u00efs.\n\nThe girl, who was maybe fourteen years old and very simple, moved by\nno ordered desire, but by some childish fancy, set off next morning by\nstealth and all alone, to go to the desert of Theba\u00efs without letting\nany know her intent.\n\nAfter some days, her desire persisting, she won, with no little toil,\nto the deserts in question and seeing a hut afar off, went thither and\nfound at the door a holy man, who marvelled to see her there and asked\nher what she sought. She replied that, being inspired of God, she went\nseeking to enter into His service and was now in quest of one who\nshould teach her how it behoved to serve Him.\n\nThe worthy man, seeing her young and very fair and fearing lest, an\nhe entertained her, the devil should beguile him, commended her pious\nintent and giving her somewhat to eat of roots and herbs and wild\napples and dates and to drink of water, said to her:\n\n\u201cDaughter mine, not far hence is a holy man, who is a much better\nmaster than I of that which thou goest seeking; do thou betake thyself\nto him;\u201d and put her in the way. However, when she reached the man in\nquestion, she had of him the same answer and faring farther, came to\nthe cell of a young hermit, a very devout and good man, whose name was\nRustico and to whom she made the same request as she had done to the\nothers.\n\nHe, having a mind to make a trial of his own constancy, sent her not\naway, as the others had done, but received her into his cell, and the\nnight being come, he made her a little bed of palm-fronds and bade her\nlie down to rest thereon.\n\nThis done, temptations tarried not to give battle to his powers of\nresistance and he, finding himself grossly deceived by these latter,\nturned tail, without many assaults, and confessed himself beaten;\nthen, laying aside devout thoughts and orisons and mortifications, he\nfell to revolving in his memory the youth and beauty of the damsel and\nbethinking himself what course he should take with her, so as to win to\nthat which he desired of her, without her taking him for a debauched\nfellow.\n\nAccordingly, having sounded her with sundry questions, he found that\nshe had never known man and was in truth as simple as she seemed;\nwherefore he bethought him, how, under colour of the service of God,\nhe might bring her to his pleasures. In the first place, he showed her\nwith many words how great an enemy the devil was of God the Lord and\nafter gave her to understand that the most acceptable service that\ncould be rendered to God was to put back the devil in hell, whereto He\nhad condemned him. The girl asked him how this might be done; and he,\n\u201cThou shalt soon know that; do thou but as thou shalt see me do.\u201d So\nsaying, he proceeded to put off the few garments he had and abode stark\nnaked, as likewise did the girl, whereupon he fell on his knees, as he\nwould pray, and caused her abide over against himself.\n\nMatters standing thus and Rustico being more than ever inflamed in his\ndesires to see her so fair, there came the resurrection of the flesh,\nwhich Alibech observing and marvelling:\n\n\u201cRustico,\u201d quoth she, \u201cWhat is that I see on thee which thrusteth forth\nthus and which I have not?\u201d\n\n\u201cFaith, daughter mine,\u201d answered he, \u201cthis is the devil whereof I\nbespoke thee; and see now, he giveth me such sore annoy that I can\nscarce put up with it.\u201d\n\nThen said the girl:\n\n\u201cNow praised be God! I see I fare better than thou, in that I have none\nof yonder devil.\u201d\n\n\u201cTrue,\u201d rejoined Rustico; \u201cbut thou hast overwhat that I have not, and\nthou hast it instead of this.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat is that?\u201d asked Alibech; and he:\n\n\u201cThou hast hell, and I tell thee methinketh God hath sent thee hither\nfor my soul\u2019s health, for that, whenas this devil doth me this annoy,\nan it please thee have so much compassion on me as to suffer me put him\nback into hell, thou wilt give the utmost solacement and wilt do God\na very great pleasure and service, so indeed thou be come into these\nparts to do as thou sayest.\u201d\n\nThe girl answered in good faith:\n\n\u201cMarry, father mine, since I have hell, be it whensoever it pleaseth\nthee;\u201d whereupon quoth Rustico:\n\n\u201cDaughter, blessed be thou; let us go then and put him back there, so\nhe may after leave me in peace.\u201d\n\nSo saying, he laid her on one of their little beds and taught her how\nshe should do to imprison that accursed one of God. The girl, who had\nnever yet put any devil in hell, for the first time felt some little\npain; wherefore she said to Rustico:\n\n\u201cCertes, father mine, this same devil must be an ill thing and an enemy\nin very deed of God, for that it irketh hell itself, let be otherwhat,\nwhen he is put back therein.\u201d\n\n\u201cDaughter,\u201d answered Rustico, \u201cit will not always happen thus;\u201d and to\nthe end that this should not happen, six times, or ever they stirred\nfrom the bed, they put him in hell again, insomuch that for the nonce\nthey so took the conceit out of his head that he willingly abode at\npeace. But, it returning to him again and again the ensuing days and\nthe obedient girl still lending herself to take it out of him, it\nbefell that the sport began to please her and she said to Rustico:\n\n\u201cI see now that those good people in Capsa spoke sooth, when they\navouched that it was so sweet a thing to serve God; for certes, I\nremember me not to have ever done aught that afforded me such pleasance\nand delight as putting the devil in hell; wherefore methinketh that\nwhoso applieth himself unto aught other than God His service is a fool.\u201d\n\nAccordingly, she came ofttimes to Rustico and said to him:\n\n\u201cFather mine, I came here to serve God and not to abide idle; let us go\nput the devil in hell.\u201d Which doing, she said whiles:\n\n\u201cRustico, I know not why the devil fleeth away from hell; for, an he\nabode there as willingly as hell receiveth him and holdeth him, he\nwould never come forth therefrom.\u201d\n\nThe girl, then, on this wise often inviting Rustico and exhorting him\nto the service of God, so took the bombast out of his doublet that he\nfelt cold what time another had sweated; wherefore he fell to telling\nher that the devil was not to be chastised nor put into hell, save\nwhenas he should lift up his head for pride.\n\n\u201cAnd we,\u201d added he, \u201cby God\u2019s grace, have so baffled him that he\nprayeth our Lord to suffer him abide in peace;\u201d and on this wise he for\nawhile imposed silence on her.\n\nHowever, when she saw that he required her not of putting the devil in\nhell, she said to him one day:\n\n\u201cRustico, an thy devil be chastened and give thee no more annoy, my\nhell letteth me not be; wherefore thou wilt do well to aid me with thy\ndevil in abating the raging of my hell, even as with my hell I have\nhelped thee take the conceit out of thy devil.\u201d\n\nRustico, who lived on roots and water, could ill avail to answer her\ncalls and told her that it would need overmany devils to appease hell,\nbut he would do what he might thereof. Accordingly he satisfied her\nbytimes, but so seldom it was but casting a bean into the lion\u2019s mouth;\nwhereat the girl, herseeming she served not God as diligently as she\nwould fain have done, murmured somewhat.\n\nBut, whilst this debate was toward between Rustico his devil and\nAlibech her hell, for overmuch desire on the one part and lack of\npower on the other, it befell that a fire broke out in Capsa and burnt\nAlibech\u2019s father in his own house, with as many children and other\nfamily as he had; by reason whereof she abode heir to all his good.\n\nThereupon, a young man called N\u00eberbale, who had spent all his substance\nin gallantry, hearing that she was alive, set out in search of her\nand finding her, before the court (_i.e._, the government) had laid\nhands upon her father\u2019s estate, as that of a man dying without heir,\nto Rustico\u2019s great satisfaction, but against her own will, brought her\nback to Capsa, where he took her to wife and succeeded, in her right,\nto the ample inheritance of her father.\n\nThere, being asked by the women at what she served God in the desert,\nshe answered (N\u00eberbale having not yet lain with her) that she served\nHim at putting the devil in hell and that N\u00eberbale had done a grievous\nsin in that he had taken her from such service.\n\nThe ladies asked:\n\n\u201cHow putteth one the devil in hell?\u201d\n\nAnd the girl, what with words and what with gestures, expounded it to\nthem; whereat they set up so great a laughing that they laugh yet and\nsaid:\n\n\u201cGive yourself no concern, my child; nay, for that is done here also\nand N\u00eberbale will serve our Lord full well with thee at this.\u201d\n\nThereafter, telling it from one to another throughout the city, they\nbrought it to a common saying there that the most acceptable service\none could render to God was to put the devil in hell, which byword,\nhaving passed the sea hither, is yet current here. Wherefore do all you\nyoung ladies, who have need of God\u2019s grace, learn to put the devil in\nhell, for that this is highly acceptable to Him and pleasing to both\nparties and much good may grow and ensue thereof.\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE DEVIL IN HELL_.\n\n\nBoccaccio\u2019s immortal story of Alibech who \u201cturned hermit and was taught\nby Rustico, a monk, to put the devil in hell\u201d has been drawn upon or\nbrazenly copied by innumerable _raconteurs_. La Fontaine has an exactly\nsimilar story. \u201cTo put the devil in hell\u201d has passed into use as an\naccepted slang term for the act of copulation. _Hell_, in English,\nand _Enfer_ in French, are erotic synonyms for the female _pudendum_,\nas are _devil_ and _diable_ for the male organ of generation. (_C.f._\nFarmer: _Slang and its Analogues_ and _Vocabula Amatoria_; also Landes:\n_Glossaire \u00e9rotique de la langue fran\u00e7aise_.) \u201cVainly doth hell her\nprisoner recall,\u201d says La Fontaine; \u201cthe devil is dumb.\u201d\n\nIt is a moot point whether \u201cThe Devil in Hell\u201d should have been\nincluded in this or the subsequent volume, _The Way of a Priest_.\nIt seems to us, however, that the woman\u2019s part transcends the man\u2019s\nthroughout, and for that reason we prefer to look upon the story as\nillustrating a phase of virginity rather than as an example of priestly\nlust.\n\nBoccaccio\u2019s \u201cNightingale,\u201d which is also given in this volume, has\nprovided yet another French slang term for the _penis_. \u201cTo put the\nnightingale in its cage or nest\u201d is a fanciful but frequent description\nof the venereal act. (_C.f._ Pietro Aretino\u2019s _Dialogues_: 1. _The\nLife of Nuns_: English and French translations: Liseux, Paris, 1889 and\n1882.) On the other hand, _nightingale_, in old English slang, denoted\na prostitute. (Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_.)\n\nThe inclusion of any of Boccaccio\u2019s tales in this volume has not gone\nuncritised by friends and advisers. \u201c_The Decameron_,\u201d they argue, \u201cis\naccessible to all; it is hackneyed nowadays.\u201d If the frequent issue of\ncheap, castrated and badly-produced editions of the immortal work are\nthese so-called means of access, the argument is a poor one.\n\nBoccaccio, to be appreciated, must be read in the original,\nunexpurgated Italian, or, at any rate, in a translation which is\nequally free and is the work of a scholar and booklover. Some of\nBoccaccio\u2019s stories are fitly classed as the world\u2019s best, and among\nthese \u201cThe Devil in Hell\u201d takes place. It is a story that has lived for\ncenturies and will live while literature lasts.\n\nFurther, so far as we know, in one English translation alone, Payne\u2019s,\n(_vide_ note _ante_, p. 56), is this story told in its entirety in\nour own language; in other editions the most dramatic part of the\nnarrative, the part, in fact, which _makes_ the story, is invariably\nrendered in Italian or French, or is hopelessly bowdlerised. Thus is\nprudery satisfied and genius mocked. \u201cThe Devil in Hell\u201d is strong fare\nassuredly, but it is served up in so artistic a manner as to please\neven the most delicate palate.\n\n\n\n\nTHE WEDDING NIGHT OF JEAN THE FOOL.[45]\n\n [45] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn, Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1884: vol. 2, _Breton\n Folk Lore_.\n\n\n\u201cMother mine,\u201d quoth Jean the Fool, \u201cI would marry.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou wouldst marry, poor innocent? And what wouldst thou do with a\nwoman? And who would want thee? To marry, thou must have culture at thy\nback (for thus they term those who have worldly goods), and thou hast\nnone. Furthermore, thou must pay court to the maidens, and thou art too\ngreat a fool to know how to do that.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat doth one do when he goeth to visit the maidens?\u201d\n\n\u201cOne goeth to them when they hold a party, one indulgeth in all manner\nof drolleries, one pincheth them, one snatcheth their handkerchiefs\nwhen they blow their noses, one pulleth at their petticoats, and one\nlaugheth.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood,\u201d said Jean to himself; and went out.\n\nPassing down a road, narrow and filled with mire, he sat down, and when\nhe felt he had sufficient \u2018cultivation\u2019 on his backside, he went to a\nfarm where there was a party. The youths and maidens, when they saw\nJean the Idiot enter all smeared with mire, drew back to make room for\nhim, lest they themselves be soiled. In the end he found in the lobby\na stool on which he sat near one of the maidens, whom he scrutinised\nclosely.\n\nShe drew away from him; Jean pinched her, rudely snatched away her\nhandkerchief when she sought to make use of it, and laughed like a\nfool. Then, thinking to succeed with her, he tugged so violently at\nher petticoat that he broke the strings that held it up. The maiden,\nhalf undressed, was enraged, and Jean was kicked out of doors, amid the\nshouting and jeering of the entire company.\n\nFrom this moment Jean the Fool had no desire to pay court to maidens.\nBut his mother, who felt herself growing old and had need of a\ndaughter-in-law to aid her, said to him one day:\n\n\u201cJean, thou must marry.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, indeed, mother mine. I was tricked enough when I saw the maidens.\u201d\n\n\u201cNevertheless, \u2018tis good to be married. Thy wife will give thee a\nchicken to eat.\u201d[46]\n\n [46] The play on words here is somewhat obscure. _Manger un poulet_\n is not a slang term for the sexual act. Interpreting freely, we might\n read: \u201cWill give thee a chicken to pluck,\u201d _i.e._: her virginity. This\n is borne out by the wife\u2019s subsequent behaviour. On the other hand,\n the mother may be speaking simply and literally.\n\nJean gave his consent and was married. When he was abed with his wife,\nhe believed that she would serve up a chicken for him, and he said to\nher:\n\n\u201cGive it me.\u201d\n\n\u201cTake it,\u201d answered his wife.\n\n\u201cGive it me, I tell thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cTake it, then.\u201d\n\nThus passed the night, and on the morrow Jean the Fool went weeping to\nhis mother, saying:\n\n\u201cMother, I begged her for it, and she would not give it me.\u201d\n\n\u201cHe lieth!\u201d cried the wife. \u201cI have told him to take it if he wished\nit.\u201d\n\nAnd she went to complain to her mother that she had married an idiot,\nwho passed the whole night saying \u201cGive it me\u201d without doing aught\nelse. The good woman saw clearly that her son-in-law was foolish, and\nshe bade him on the following night mount upon his wife and thrust at a\nspot where he felt some hair.\n\nJean did as he was counselled, but instead of stretching himself at\nfull length upon her, laid himself across his wife and began to thrust\nwith all his force, but without success, as one can well imagine, a\nwoman\u2019s slit not being at the same angle as her mouth.\n\nNor was it until the third night that Jean the Fool learned how he must\ncomport himself to have a chicken, and then he found it very much to\nhis taste and his wife also.[47]\n\n [47] We make no apology for the frequent extracts from _Kruptadia_\n to be found in this volume and those to follow of _Anthologica\n Rarissima_. _Kruptadia_, perhaps the most remarkable _recueil_ of\n folk lore stories, songs, sayings and proverbs in the world, is a\n work far too little known to the student and bibliophile. Its rarity\n may be explained by the fact that comparatively few copies of each\n volume were struck off. Of Vol. 2, from which \u201cThe Wedding Night\n of Jean the Fool\u201d is taken, only 135 numbered copies were done. A\n complete 12-volume set, in the original format (the work was begun in\n Heilbronn by Henninger Fr\u00e8res and completed in Paris by Welter) is\n not often seen, and we count ourselves fortunate in having one before\n us as we write. Havelock Ellis frequently refers to the collection\n in his _Studies in the Psychology of Sex_, while Pisanus Fraxi, the\n great bibliographer of erotic, prohibited and uncommon books, was\n just able to notice the first two volumes in his _Catena Librorum\n Tacendorum_, (London: Privately Printed: 1885). He pays generous\n tribute to the production. \u201cStudents of folk lore,\u201d he writes, \u201cwill\n hail with delight the appearance of this well-printed and carefully\n got up little volume, to be followed, let us hope, by many others of\n the same kind, equally remarkable for talented and faithful rendering,\n and masterly editing.\u201d Dealing with the tales themselves, he goes\n on to say that \u201cthey reveal to us in an interesting and unequivocal\n manner the feelings, aspirations, modes of thought, manner of living\n of the people who tell them, and are possibly one of the most valuable\n contributions to the study of folk lore which has yet appeared....\n They are all characteristic--all good.\u201d Fraxi then gives the pith of\n \u201cThe Enchanted Ring,\u201d which we have already printed at length in this\n volume. In the concluding pages of his _Catena Librorum Tacendorum_,\n Fraxi states that vol. 2 of _Kruptadia_ has reached him in time to\n mention briefly its contents. Since these words were written, ten\n other volumes have been issued--a veritable mine of entertaining and\n instructive information. We even go so far as to say that genuine\n students of folk lore and collectors of curious literature cannot\n afford to ignore _Kruptadia_, even as they should have access to\n Pisanus Fraxi\u2019s 3-volume work, _INDEX LIBRORUM PROHIBITORUM_,\n _CENTURIA LIBRORUM ABSCONDITORUM_, and _CATENA LIBRORUM TACENDORUM_.\n Possession of these works by all is impossible owing to their rarity,\n cost and small imprint. Not every student can afford to pay \u00a320 to \u00a330\n for the complete set of _Kruptadia_, even if he be lucky enough to\n chance on such a find, while Fraxi\u2019s amazing bibliography, in the sale\n room alone, commands about \u00a335; and while the price tends steadily\n to increase, the appearance of the complete 3-volume set as steadily\n decreases.\n\n\n\n\nTHE MAIDEN WELL GUARDED.[48]\n\n [48] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn, Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1884: _Breton Folk\n Lore_.\n\n\nThere lived a maiden whose mother guarded her with infinite care lest\nsome youth should do her ill; and she was brought up in all innocence.\nAnd when she begged to go to gatherings even as other maids of her age,\nher mother was wont to answer her, saying:\n\n\u201cNay, my daughter, thou shalt not go, for there thou art like to lose\nthy maidenhead.\u201d\n\nOne day, nevertheless, Pierre, the maiden\u2019s lover, who was a good lad\nand a quiet, came seeking to conduct her to an assembly, and both lad\nand maid besought the mother to let them go. In the end she consented,\nthinking in herself that Pierre was too honest to do her daughter ill,\nand she enjoined him guard her well.\n\nBehold, then, these two on their way; and as they went, the maiden said:\n\n\u201cMy mother hath strictly enjoined me to guard my maidenhead. It seemeth\nthat at assemblies one is in case to lose it. How best preserve it?\u201d\n\n\u201cHath not thy mother shown thee a method of so doing?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea,\u201d answered the maiden, \u201cshe hath enjoined me to press my thighs\ntightly together.\u201d\n\nQuitting the road, they entered a wood wherein were several streamlets,\nwhich one crossed by means of planks. Even as the maid walked upon one\nof these planks Pierre, who marched behind her, cast a stone into the\nwater hard by the girl.\n\n\u201cAlas!\u201d cried the maiden. \u201cWhat will my mother say? Behold, my\nmaidenhead hath fallen in the water and is lost!\u201d\n\n\u201cFear not,\u201d answered the lad. \u201c\u2018Tis fortunate I am here. I will restore\nit thee. Come with me \u2018neath the trees, and say naught if the business\nhurteth thee, for \u2018tis all for thy good.\u201d\n\nThen Pierre, in very sooth, \u2018put back\u2019 the maidenhead for her, and\nshortly afterward they came to the second plank. Even as the girl\nstood upon it, two or three frogs, slumbering at the streamside, were\naffrighted and hopped into the water, which spirted up \u2018neath the\nmaiden.\n\n\u201cAh! Pierre!\u201d cried she. \u201c\u2018Tis lost again! It seemeth that it was not\nfirm. \u2018Twas most wrong of thee not to have put it back more firmly.\u201d\n\n\u201cSay no more,\u201d answered Pierre. \u201cI will again put it back.\u201d\n\nAnd when the maidenhead had been put back for the second time, they\nwent on, reaching the assembly, where they diverted themselves as did\nthe others.\n\nOn their return journey, even as the young girl passed over a plank,\nPierre cast in the water an apple which he had in his pocket.\n\n\u201cWhat will my mother say?\u201d cried the girl. \u201c\u2018Tis the third time I have\nlost it to-day!\u201d\n\n\u201cFear not,\u201d quoth Pierre. \u201cI am about to sew it on again.\u201d\n\nWhen the maidenhead had been resewed, the girl, who was acquiring a\ntaste for this form of embroidery, said to Pierre:\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis not sewn sufficiently firm.\u201d\n\n\u201cIndeed it is.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis not.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut I have no more thread.\u201d\n\n\u201cMiserable deceiver!\u201d cried the girl. \u201cHe saith he hath no more thread,\nyet all the while he possesseth two great balls of it!\u201d[49]\n\n [49] _Peloton_ is the word in the text, signifying, literally, _a ball\n made of things (thread, silk or wool) wound round it_. The play on\n words is remarkably apt in the last few lines of the story, _peloton_\n exactly connoting, in the mind of the simple girl, the youth\u2019s\n testicles and pubic hair.\n\n\n\n\n_VARIANT._\n\n\nB\u00e9roalde de Verville, in _Le Moyen de Parvenir_, has a similar tale.\nAs it differs in several respects from our _Kruptadia_ version, we\ngive it here. Our extract is from Arthur Machen\u2019s text, which is, so\nfar as we know, the only English translation of the old French Canon\u2019s\nmuch censured work.[50] Donatus, one of the characters in the book, is\nspeaking:--\n\n [50] _Fantastic Tales or The Way to Attain: A Book full of\n Pantagruelism: Now for the first time done into English_ by Arthur\n Machen: Privately Printed: Carbonnek, 1890. We shall return to the\n subject of De Verville\u2019s work in a later page of this volume.\n\n... That\u2019s like the case of my landlady\u2019s daughter.... One day this\nyoung wench desired to go to a bride-ale, and asked leave of her\nmother, who granted it on the condition that she would solemnly,\nparagraphically, and distinctively promise to keep her maidenhead,[51]\nto which condition the girl agreed with all her heart.\n\n [51] The word is ours. Machen translates \u201chonour.\u201d\n\nSo she went away to the wedding, and set herself to keep guard o\u2019er her\nmaidenhead. The lasses and lads all danced away, but she not a step,\nnor did she dare approach the board where the others were engaged in\nthe quintessential operation of making ordure with the teeth. The poor\ngirl stayed all the time in a corner of the room, with her two hands\nat the bottom of her stomach, just opposite to the diameter (I mean\nopposite to the centre which so far was cut by no diameter). Coypeau,\nseeing her thus dung in the mouth (I should say, down in the mouth)\ncame up to her and said:\n\n\u201cWhat cheer, Coz; shall we foot it awhile?\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, I dare not, for fear I lose my maidenhead; my mother bade me take\ngreat care of it.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, Oh,\u201d says he, \u201cand is that all? Why Coz, sweet Coz, follow me to\nthis little closet, and I\u2019ll sew it up so tight that it shall never\nfall out.\u201d\n\nAll this he said in a whisper, but she heard him well enough, for she\nwas fain to be a-dancing; and so she followed him. He then proceeded to\nshow her how the wolf dances with his tail between his legs, and sewed\nup her maidenhead so securely that he told her it would never fall out\nby that way.\n\nThereupon she began to dance, and enjoyed herself to her heart\u2019s\ncontent; but she liked needlework so well that she asked for some\nmore, and had three stitches. (That was enough in all conscience,\nthough I have threaded the needle[52] for Madeleine forty-five times in\nforty-four hours; five by night and by day _fort\u00e9_.) Coypeau was not\nquite so strong as that, but he gave the poor girl a great treat. She\nate some sweetmeats, and feeling ashamed no longer, bethought her of\nher maidenhead, and went up to him, and asked him if he would give it\nanother stitch.\n\n [52] _Enfiler une aiguille_, more usually, _enfiler_. The expression is\n common to most erotic writers. _Vide_ various erotic lexicographers\n quoted _ante_.\n\n\u201cFaith! \u201c said he, \u201cI can\u2019t, I haven\u2019t any more thread.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome, Come,\u201d quoth she, \u201cI thought I saw two nice little balls of\nthread.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nTALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN.[53]\n\n [53] _The Thousand Nights and a Night_, translated by Sir Richard F.\n Burton, and printed by the Burton Club for private subscribers only:\n Lauristan Edition, limited to 1,000 numbered sets. As the story in the\n original is of considerable length, we have summarised portions of it,\n retaining in its entirety that part of the text which will appeal most\n to the bibliophile. The paragraphing, also, is in many cases our own.\n\n\n_King Shahriman had a son, Kamar al-Zaman, who \u201cgrew up of surpassing\nbeauty ... and symmetry,\u201d but was unwilling to marry. For this he is\neventually cast into prison. A similar fate has befallen Princess\nBudur, daughter of King Ghayur, Lord of China Islands and Seas, and for\na similar reason. The maiden is pictured as one \u201cthan whom Allah hath\nmade none fairer in her time ... with cheeks like purple wine ... lips\nas coral ... breasts like two globes of ivory, from whose brightness\nthe moons borrow light, and a stomach with little waves as it were a\nfigured cloth ... with creases like folded scrolls, ending in a waist\nslender past all imagination; based upon back parts like a hillock of\nblown sand, that force her to sit when she would lief stand....\u201d_\n\n_Two genii, Maymunah, a woman, and Dahnash, a man, now come into the\nstory, the former as a champion of Kamar, the latter as Princess\nBudur\u2019s. After a long dispute as to the rival charms of Prince and\nPrincess, they convey the latter to the Prince\u2019s side, the test of\nbeauty to be as follows_:--\n\n_Each is to be awakened in turn, without knowledge of the other, and\nwhichever is the more enamoured will be held inferior in comeliness._\n\n_Dahnash then changes himself into a flea, and bites Kamar al-Zaman,\nwho wakes up. The text continues_:--\n\n\n... Then turning sideways, he found lying by him something whose breath\nwas sweeter than musk and whose skin was softer than cream. Hereat\nhe marvelled with great marvel, and he sat up and looked at what lay\nbeside him; when he saw it to be a young lady like an union pearl, or a\nshining sun, or a dome seen from afar on a well-built wall: for she was\nfive feet tall ... bosomed high and rosy-cheeked....\n\nAnd when Kamar al-Zaman saw the lady Budur, daughter of King Ghayur,\nand her beauty and comeliness, she was sleeping clad in a shift of\nVenetian silk, without her petticoat trousers, and wore on her head\na kerchief embroidered with gold and set with stones of price; her\nears were hung with twin earrings which shone like constellations, and\nround her neck was a collar of union pearls, of size unique, past the\ncompetence of any king.\n\nWhen he saw this, his reason was confounded and natural heat began to\nstir in him; Allah awoke in him the desire of co\u00eftion and he said to\nhimself:\n\n\u201cWhatso Allah willeth, that shall be, and what he willeth not shall be!\u201d\n\nSo saying, he put out his hand, turning her over, loosed the collar of\nher chemise; then arose before his sight her bosom, with its breasts\nlike double globes of ivory; whereat his inclination for her redoubled\nand he desired her with exceeding hot desire. He would have awakened\nher but she would not awake, for Dahnash had made her sleep heavy; so\nhe shook her and moved her, saying:\n\n\u201cO my beloved, awake and look on me; I am Kamar al-Zaman.\u201d\n\nBut she awoke not, neither moved her head; whereupon he considered her\ncase for a long hour and said to himself:\n\n\u201cIf I guess aright, this is the damsel to whom my father would\nhave married me, and these three years I have refused her; but\nInshallah!--God willing--as soon as it is dawn, I will say to him:\nMarry me to her, that I may enjoy her; nor will I let half the day pass\nere I possess her and take my fill of her beauty and loveliness.\u201d\n\nThen he bent over Budur to buss her, whereat the Jinniyah Maymunah\ntrembled and was abashed and Dahnash, the Ifrit, was like to fly for\njoy. But as Kamar al-Zaman was about to kiss her on the mouth, he was\nashamed before Allah and turned away his head and averted his face,\nsaying to his heart: \u201cHave patience.\u201d\n\nThen he took thought awhile and said:\n\n\u201cI will be patient; haply my father when he was wroth with me and sent\nme to this jail, may have brought my young lady and made her lie by my\nside to try me with her, and may have charged her not to be readily\nawakened when I would arouse her, and may have said to her:\n\n\u201c\u2018Whatever thing Kamar al-Zaman do to thee, make me ware thereof\u2019;\n\n\u201cOr belike my sire standeth hidden in some stead whence (being himself\nunseen) he can see all I do with this young lady; and to-morrow he will\nscold me and cry:\n\n\u201c\u2018How cometh it that thou sayest, I have no mind to marry; and yet thou\ndidst kiss and embrace yonder damsel?\u2019\n\n\u201cSo I will withhold myself lest I be ashamed before my sire; and the\nright and proper thing to do is not to touch her at this present, nor\neven to look upon her, except to take from her somewhat which shall\nserve as a token to me and a memorial of her; that some sign endure\nbetween me and her.\u201d\n\nThen Kamar al-Zaman raised the young lady\u2019s hand and took from her\nlittle finger a seal-ring worth an immense amount of money, for that\nits bezel was a precious jewel ... and set it on his own; then, turning\nhis back to her, went to sleep.[54] ...\n\n [54] \u201cThe young man,\u201d says Sir Richard Burton, in a footnote, \u201cmust\n have been a demon of chastity.\u201d\n\nThereupon Maymunah changed herself into a flea and entering into the\nraiment of Budur, the loved of Dahnash, crept up her calf and came\nupon her thigh and, reaching a place some four carats[55] below her\nnavel, there bit her. Thereupon she opened her eyes and sitting up in\nbed, saw a youth lying beside her and breathing heavily in his sleep,\nthe loveliest of Almighty Allah\u2019s creatures, with eyes that put to\nshame the fairest Houris of Heaven; and a mouth like Solomon\u2019s seal,\nwhose water was sweeter to the taste and more efficacious than a\ntheriack, and lips the colour of coral-stone, and cheeks like blood-red\nanemone....\n\n [55] Carat = one finger-breadth here. The derivation is from the Greek\n _Keration_, a bean, the seed of the _abrus precatorius_.--Note by Sir\n Richard Burton.\n\nNow when Princess Budur saw him, she was seized by a transport of\npassion and yearning and love-longing, and she said to herself:\n\n\u201cAlas, my shame! This is a strange youth and I know him not. How cometh\nhe to be lying by my side on one bed?\u201d\n\nThen she looked at him a second time and, noting his beauty and\nloveliness, said:\n\n\u201cBy Allah, he is indeed a comely youth and my heart is well-nigh torn\nin sunder with longing for him! But alas, how am I shamed by him! By\nthe Almighty, had I known it was this youth who sought me in marriage\nof my father, I had not rejected him, but had wived with him and\nenjoyed his loveliness!\u201d\n\nThen she gazed in his face and said:\n\n\u201cO my lord and light of mine eyes, awake from sleep and take thy\npleasure in my beauty and grace.\u201d\n\nAnd she moved him with her hand; but Maymunah the Jinniyah let down\nsleep upon him as it were a curtain, and pressed heavily on his head\nwith her wings so that Kamar al-Zaman awoke not. Then Princess Budur\nshook him with her hands and said:\n\n\u201cMy life on thee, hearken to me; awake and up from thy sleep and look\non the narcissus and the tender down thereon, and enjoy the sight of\nnaked waist and navel; and touzle me and tumble me from this moment\ntill break of day! Allah upon thee, O my lord, sit up and prop thee\nagainst the pillow and slumber not!\u201d\n\nStill Kamar al-Zaman made her no reply but breathed hard in his sleep.\nContinued she:\n\n\u201cAlas! Alas! thou art insolent in thy beauty and comeliness and grace\nand loving looks! But if thou art handsome, so am I handsome; what then\nis this thou dost? Have they taught thee to flout me or hath my father,\nthe wretched old fellow, made thee swear not to speak to me to-night?\u201d\n\nBut Kamar al-Zaman opened not his mouth neither awoke, whereat her\npassion for him redoubled and Allah inflamed her heart with love of\nhim. She stole one glance of eyes that cost her a thousand sighs:\nher heart fluttered, and her vitals throbbed and her hands and feet\nquivered; and she said to Kamar al-Zaman:\n\n\u201cTalk to me, O my lord! Speak to me, O my friend! Answer me, O my\nbeloved, and tell me thy name, for indeed thou hast ravished my wit!\u201d\n\nAnd during all this time he abode drowned in sleep and answered her not\na word, and Princess Budur sighed and said:\n\n\u201cAlas! Alas! why art thou so proud and self-satisfied?\u201d\n\nThen she shook him and turning his hand over, saw her seal-ring on his\nlittle finger, whereat she cried a loud cry, and followed it with a\nsigh of passion and said:\n\n\u201cAlack! Alack! By Allah, thou art my beloved and thou lovest me! Yet\nthou seemest to turn thee away from me out of coquetry, for all, O my\ndarling, thou camest to me, whilst I was asleep and knew not what thou\ndidst with me, and tookest my seal-ring; and yet I will not pull it off\nthy finger.\u201d\n\nSo saying, she opened the bosom of his shirt and bent over him and\nkissed him and put forth her hand to him, seeking somewhat that she\nmight take as a token, but found nothing. Then she thrust her hand into\nhis breast and, because of the smoothness of his body, it slipped down\nto his waist and thence to his navel and thence to his yard, whereupon\nher heart ached and her vitals quivered and lust was sore upon her, for\nthat the desire of women is fiercer than the desire of men,[56] and she\nwas ashamed of her own shamelessness.\n\n [56] ... In hot-damp climates the venereal requirements and\n reproductive powers of the female greatly exceed those of the\n male.... In cold-dry or hot-dry mountainous lands the reverse is\n the case; hence polygamy there prevails whilst the low countries\n require polyandry in either form, legal or illegal, _i.e._,\n prostitution.--Note by Sir Richard Burton. See, also, _excursus_ to\n this story, where the subject is dealt with at length.\n\nThen she plucked his seal-ring from his finger, and put it on her own\ninstead of the ring he had taken, and bussed his inner lips and hands,\nnor did she leave any part of him unkissed; after which she took him to\nher breast and embraced him and, laying one of her hands under his neck\nand the other under his arm-pit, nestled close to him and fell asleep\nby his side.\n\n... When Princess Budur fell asleep by the side of Kamar al-Zaman,\nafter doing that which she did, quoth Maymunah to Dahnash:\n\n\u201cSawst thou, O accursed, how proudly and coquettishly my beloved bore\nhimself, and how hotly and passionately thy mistress showed herself to\nmy dearling? There can be no doubt that my beloved is handsomer than\nthine; nevertheless I pardon thee.\u201d\n\n... The two Ifrits went forward to Princess Budur and upraising her\nflew away with her; then, bearing her back to her own place, they laid\nher on her own bed, while Maymunah abode alone with Kamar al-Zaman,\ngazing upon him as he slept, till the night was all but spent, when she\nwent her way. As soon as morning morrowed, the Prince awoke from sleep\nand turned right and left, but found not the maiden by him and said in\nhis mind:\n\n\u201cWhat is this business? It is as if my father would incline me to\nmarriage with the damsel who was with me and have now taken her away by\nstealth, to the intent that my desire for wedlock may redouble.\u201d\n\nThen he called out to the eunuch who slept at the door, saying:\n\n\u201cWoe to thee, O damned one, arise at once!\u201d\n\nSo the eunuch rose, bemused with sleep, and brought him basin and ewer,\nwhereupon Kamar al-Zaman entered the water-closet and did his need;[57]\nthen, coming out, made the Wuzu-ablution and prayed the dawn-prayer,\nafter which he sat telling on his beads the ninety-and-nine names of\nAlmighty Allah....\n\n [57] \u201cThis morning evacuation,\u201d says Sir Richard Burton, in a\n footnote, \u201cis considered, in the East, a _sine qua non_ of health....\n The natives of India ... unlike Europeans, accustom themselves to\n evacuate twice a day, evening as well as morning. This may, perhaps,\n partly account for their mildness and effeminacy; for:--\u2019C\u2019est la\n constipation qui rend l\u2019homme rigoureux.\u2019\u201d\n\n_Strictly speaking, the rest of the story, which is of great length,\nis somewhat out of place in this volume. The reader, however, may be\ninterested to know the upshot of the stratagem adopted by the genii, so\nwe take leave to give it, summarising where necessary._\n\n_Kamar al-Zaman and the Princess Budur, madly in love but\ngrief-stricken by their separation, are eventually brought together\nand married. Later while on a journey, they are again separated by\ndivers mischances, Kamar becoming an assistant to a gardener, while\nBudur, having adopted male garb to preserve her chastity, reaches the\ndominions of King Armanus. Here she is taken for a king\u2019s son, and\nArmanus, who is old, gives her his daughter Hayat al-Nufus in marriage\nand makes her lord of his kingdom. An embarrassing situation now\narises, Budur being unable to consummate the marriage or to explain her\nfailure to the bride. Matters come to a crisis on the third night when\nHayat speaks out. The text continues_:--\n\n... Hayat al-Nufus caught her by the skirt and clung to her, saying:\n\n\u201cO my lord, art thou not ashamed before my father, after all his\nfavour, to neglect me at such a time as this\u201d\n\nWhen Queen Budur heard her words, she sat down in the same place and\nsaid:\n\n\u201cO my beloved, what is this thou sayest?\u201d\n\nShe replied:\n\n\u201cWhat I say is that I never saw any so proud of himself as thou.\nIs every fair one so disdainful? I say not this to incline thee to\nme; I say it only of my fear for thee from King Armanus; because he\npurposeth, unless thou go in unto me this very night, and do away my\nmaidenhead, to strip thee of the kingship on the morrow and banish thee\nhis kingdom; and peradventure his excessive anger may lead him to slay\nthee. But I, O my lord, have ruth on thee and give thee fair warning;\nand it is thy right to reck.\u201d\n\nNow when Queen Budur heard her speak these words, she bowed her head\ngroundwards awhile in sore perplexity and said in herself:\n\n\u201cIf I refuse I\u2019m lost; and if I obey I\u2019m shamed. But I am now Queen\nof all the Ebony Islands and they are under my rule, nor shall I ever\nagain meet my Kamar al-Zaman save in this place; for there is no way\nfor him to his native land but through the Ebony Islands. Verily, I\nknow not what to do in my present case, but I commit my care to Allah\nwho directeth all for the best, for I am no man that I should arise and\nopen this virgin girl.\u201d\n\nThen quoth Queen Budur to Hayat al-Nufus:\n\n\u201cO my beloved, that I have neglected thee and abstained from thee is in\nmy own despite.\u201d\n\nAnd she told her her whole story from beginning to end and showed her\nperson to her, saying:\n\n\u201cI conjure you by Allah to keep my counsel, for I have concealed my\ncase only that Allah may re-unite me with my beloved Kamar al-Zaman and\nthen come what may.\u201d\n\n... The Princess heard her with extreme wonderment and was moved to\npity and prayed Allah to re-unite her with her beloved, saying:\n\n\u201cFear nothing, O my sister; but have patience till Allah bring to pass\nthat which must come to pass.... O my sister, verily the breasts of\nthe noble and brave are of secrets the grave; and I will not discover\nthine.\u201d\n\nThen they toyed and embraced and kissed and slept till near the\nMu\u2019ezzin\u2019s call to dawn-prayer, when Hayat al-Nufus arose and took\na pigeon-poult,[58] and cut its throat over her smock and besmeared\nherself with its blood. Then she pulled off her petticoat-trousers and\ncried aloud, whereupon her people hastened to her and raised the usual\nlullilooing and outcries of joy and gladness....\n\n [58] \u201cThe belief that young pigeons\u2019 blood resembles the virginal\n discharge is universal,\u201d says Sir Richard Burton, in a footnote; \u201cbut\n the blood most resembling man\u2019s is that of the pig, which in other\n points is so very human. In our day Arabs and Hindus rarely submit\n to inspection the nuptial sheet, as practised by the Israelites and\n Persians. The bride takes to bed a white kerchief with which she\n staunches the blood and next morning the stains are displayed in\n the Harem. In Darfour this is done by the bridegroom. \u201c_Prima Venus\n debet esse cruenta_\u201d (Love\u2019s first battle should be bloody), say the\n Easterns with much truth, and they have no faith in our complaisant\n creed which allows the hymen-membrane to disappear by any but one\n accident.\u201d The creed, of course, is not peculiar to the East, and\n realistic descriptions of this \u201csanguinary combat\u201d will be found in\n Nicolas Chorier\u2019s _Dialogues_, _Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure_, (_op.\n cit._), and other erotic works. _C.f._ also the modern custom of\n including a clean sheet among the bride\u2019s trousseau. Further remarks\n on this subject will be found in our preliminary essay to this volume,\n \u201cHuman Nature, Tradition, and Virginity.\u201d\n\n_We can omit a description of the manner in which Kamar al-Zaman is\nat length brought to the Ebony Islands, where honour and dignity are\nheaped upon him, in particular by Queen Budur, whom he believes to be a\nman and the king of the dominion. Growing suspicious of these favours,\nKamar asks permission to depart. The text continues_:--\n\n... Answered Kamar al-Zaman:\n\n\u201cO King, verily this favour, if there be no reason for it, is indeed\na wonder of wonders, more by token that thou hast advanced me to\ndignities such as befit men of age and experience, albeit I am as it\nwere a young child.\u201d\n\nAnd Queen Budur rejoined:\n\n\u201cThe reason is that I love thee for thine exceeding loveliness and thy\nsurpassing beauty; and if thou wilt but grant me my desire of thy body,\nI will advance thee yet farther in honour and favour and largesse; and\nI will make thee Wazir, for all thy tender age, even as the folk made\nme Sultan over them and I no older than thou....\u201d\n\nWhen Kamar al-Zaman heard these words, he was abashed and his cheeks\nflushed till they seemed aflame; and he said:\n\n\u201cI need not these favours which lead to the commission of sin; I will\nlive poor in wealth but wealthy in virtue and honour.\u201d\n\nQuoth she:\n\n\u201cI am not to be duped by thy scruples, arising from prudery and\ncoquettish ways; and Allah bless him who saith:--\n\n_To him I spake of coupling, but he said to me, \u2018How long this noyous\nlong persistency?\u2019_\n\n_But when gold piece I show\u00ebd him, he cried, \u2018Who from the Almighty\nSovereign e\u2019er shall flee?\u2019_\u201d\n\nNow when Kamar al-Zaman heard these words and understood her verses and\ntheir import, he said:\n\n\u201cO King, I have not the habit of these doings, nor have I strength\nto bear these heavy burthens for which elder age than I have proved\nunable; then how will it be with my tender age?\u201d\n\nBut she smiled at his speech and retorted:\n\n\u201cIndeed, it is a matter right marvellous how error springeth from the\ndisorder of man\u2019s intendiment! Since thou art a boy, why standest thou\nin fear of sin or the doing of things forbidden, seeing that thou art\nnot yet come to the years of canonical responsibility; and the offences\nof a child incur neither punishment nor reproof? Verily, thou hast\ncommitted thyself to a quibble for the sake of contention, and it is\nthy duty to bow before a proposal of fruition, so henceforward cease\nfrom denial and coyness, for the commandment of Allah is a decree\nforeordained: indeed, I have more reason than thou to fear falling and\nby sin to be misled; and well-inspired was he who said:--\n\n_My prickle is big and the little one said, \u2018Thrust boldly in vitals\nwith lion-like stroke!\u2019_\n\n_Then I, \u2018\u2019Tis a sin!\u2019; and he, \u2018No sin to me!\u2019 So I had him at once\nwith a counterfeit poke.\u201d_[59]\n\n [59] \u201c_i.e._, Not the real thing (with a woman),\u201d says Sir R. Burton,\n in a note. \u201cIt may also mean \u2018by his incitement of me.\u2019 All this scene\n is written in the worst form of Persian-Egyptian blackguardism, and\n forms a curious anthropological study.\u201d\n\nWhen Kamar al-Zaman heard these words, the light became darkness in his\nsight and he said:\n\n\u201cO King, thou hast in thy household fair women and female slaves, who\nhave not their like in this age: shall not these suffice thee without\nme? Do thy will with them and let me go!\u201d\n\nShe replied:\n\n\u201cThou sayest sooth, but it is not with them that one who loveth thee\ncan heal himself of torment and can abate his fever; for, when tastes\nand inclinations are corrupted by vice, they hear and obey other than\ngood advice. So leave arguing and listen to what the poet saith:--\n\n_Seest not the bazaar with its fruit in rows? These men are for figs\nand for sycamore those!_[60]\n\n [60] _i.e._, Some men prefer sodomy (figs = _anus_); others natural\n intercourse (sycamore = _cunnus_).\n\n\u201cAnd what another saith:--\n\n_O beauty\u2019s Union! love for thee\u2019s my creed; free choice of Faith and\neke my best desire_:\n\n_Women I have forsworn for thee; so may deem me all men this day a\nshaveling friar._\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_A boy of twice ten is fit for a King!_\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_The penis smooth and round was made with anus best to match it: Had it\nbeen made for cunnus\u2019 sake it had been formed like hatchet!_\n\n\u201cAnd yet another said:--\n\n_My soul thy sacrifice! I chose thee out who art not menstruous or\noviparous_:\n\n_Did I with women mell, I should beget brats till the wide wide world\ngrew strait for us._\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_She saith_ (_sore hurt in sense the most acute, for she had proffered\nwhat did not besuit_):--\n\n\u2018_Unless thou stroke as man should swive his wife, blame not when horns\nthy brow shall incornute!_\n\n\u2018_Thy wand seems waxen, to a limpo grown: and more I palm it, softer\ngrows the brute!_\u2019\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_Quoth she (for I to lie with her forbore), \u2018O folly-following fool, O\nfool to core_:\n\n\u2018_If thou my coynte for Kiblah[61] to thy coigne reject, we\u2019ll show\nthee what shall please thee more._\u2019[62]\n\n [61] Note by Sir Richard Burton: Kiblah = the fronting place of\n prayer; Mecca for Moslems, Jerusalem for Jews and early Christians.\n\n [62] Note by Sir Richard Burton: The Koran says (chap. 2): \u201cYour\n wives are your tillage: go in therefore unto your tillage in what\n manner soever you will.\u201d Usually this is understood as meaning in\n any posture, standing or sitting, lying, backwards or forwards. Yet\n there is a popular saying about the man whom the woman rides (vulg.\n _St. George_; in France, _le postillion_): \u201cCursed be he who maketh\n woman Heaven and himself earth!\u201d Some hold the Koranic passage to have\n been revealed in confutation of the Jews, who pretended that if a man\n lay with his wife backwards, he would beget a cleverer child. Others\n again understood it of preposterous venery; which is absurd: every\n ancient law-giver framed his code to increase the true wealth of the\n people--population--and severely punished all processes, like onanism,\n which impeded it. The Persians utilise the hatred of women for such\n misuse when they would force a wife to demand a divorce and thus\n forfeit her claim to dowry; they convert them into catamites till,\n after a month or so, they lose all patience and leave the house. We do\n not propose to add to Sir Richard\u2019s note, reserving our remarks on the\n subject for their proper place in a subsequent volume.\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_She proffered me a tender coynte: Quoth I, \u2018I will not roger thee!\u2019_\n\n_She drew back, saying, \u2018From the Faith he turns, who\u2019s turned by\nHeaven\u2019s decree!_[63]\n\n [63] Note by Sir Richard: Koran 51, 9, alluding, in the text, to the\n preposterous venery her lover demands.\n\n_\u2019And front-wise futtering, in one day, is obsolete persistency!\u2019_\n\n_Then swung she round and shining rump like silvern lump she show\u00ebd me!_\n\n_I cried: \u2018Well done, O mistress mine! No more am I in pain for thee;_\n\n_\u2019O thou of all that Allah oped[64] showest me fairest victory!\u2019_\n\n [64] Note by Sir Richard: Arab \u201cFut\u00f9h,\u201d meaning openings, and also\n victories, benefits. The lover congratulates her on her mortifying\n self in order to please him.\n\n\u201cAnd yet another:--\n\n_Men craving pardon will uphold their hands; women pray pardon with\ntheir legs on high:_[65]\n\n [65] _Vide_ note to _Excursus_ to this story, p. 100.\n\n_Out on it for a pious, prayerful work! The Lord shall raise it in the\ndepths to lie._\u201d[66]\n\n [66] Note by Sir Richard: \u201cAnd the righteous work will be exalt.\u201d\n (Koran 35, 11). Applied ironically.\n\nWhen Kamar al-Zaman heard her quote this poetry, and was certified that\nthere was no escaping compliance with what willed she, he said:\n\n\u201cO King of the age, if thou must needs have it so, make covenant with\nme that thou wilt do this thing with me but once, though it avail\nnot to correct thy depraved appetite; and that thou wilt never again\nrequire this thing of me to the end of time; so perchance shall Allah\npurge me of the sin.\u201d\n\nShe replied:\n\n\u201cI promise thee this same, hoping that Allah of His favour will relent\ntoward us and blot out our mortal offence; for the girdle of Heaven\u2019s\nforgiveness is not indeed so strait, but it may compass us around and\nabsolve us of the excess of our heinous sins and bring us to the light\nof salvation out of the darkness of error; and indeed excellently well\nsaith the poet:--\n\n_Of evil thing the folk suspect us twain; and to this thought their\nhearts and souls are bent:_\n\n_Come, dear! let\u2019s justify and free their souls that wrong us; one good\nbout and then--repent!\u201d_\n\nThereupon she made with him an agreement and a covenant and swore a\nsolemn oath by Him who is Self-existent, that this thing should befall\nbetwixt them but once and never again for all time, and that the desire\nof him was driving her to death and perdition. So he rose up with her,\non this condition, and went with her to her own boudoir, that she\nmight quench the lowe of her lust, saying:\n\n\u201cThere is no Majesty, and there is no Might save in Allah, the\nGlorious, the Great! This is the fated decree of the All-powerful, the\nAll-wise!\u201d\n\nAnd he doffed his bag-trousers, shameful and abashed, with the tears\nrunning from his eyes from stress of affright. Thereat she smiled and\nmaking him mount upon a couch with her, said to him:\n\n\u201cAfter this night, thou shalt see naught that will offend thee.\u201d\n\nThen she turned to him bussing and bosoming him and bending calf over\ncalf, and said to him:\n\n\u201cPut thy hand between my thighs to the accustomed place; so haply it\nmay stand up to prayer after prostration.\u201d\n\nHe wept and cried:\n\n\u201cI am not good at aught of this.\u201d\n\nBut she said:\n\n\u201cBy my life, an thou do as I bid thee, it shall profit thee!\u201d\n\nSo he put out his hand, with vitals afire for confusion, and found her\nthighs cooler than cream and softer than silk. The touching of them\npleasured him and he moved his hand hither and thither, till it came to\na dome abounding in good gifts and movements and shifts, and said in\nhimself:\n\n\u201cPerhaps this King is an hermaphrodite,[67] neither man nor woman quite.\u201d\n\n [67] Note by Sir Richard: Easterns still believe in what Westerns know\n to be an impossibility, human beings with the parts and proportions\n of both sexes equally developed and capable of reproduction; and\n Al-Islam even provides special rules for them. ... The old Greeks\n dreamed, after their fashion, a beautiful poetic dream of a human\n animal uniting the contradictory beauties of man and woman. The\n duality of the generative organs seems an old Egyptian tradition; at\n least we find it in _Genesis_ (1.27), where the image of the Deity\n is created male and female, before man was formed out of the dust of\n the ground (2.7). The old tradition found its way to India (if the\n Hindus did not borrow the idea from the Greeks); and one of the forms\n of Mahadeva, the third person of their triad, is entitled \u201cArdhan\u00e1ri\u201d\n = the Half-Woman, which has suggested to them some charming pictures.\n Europeans, seeing the left breast conspicuously feminine, have\n indulged in silly surmises about the \u201cAmazons.\u201d\n\nSo he said to her:\n\n\u201cO King, I cannot find that thou hast a tool like the tools of men;\nwhat then moved thee to do this deed?\u201d\n\nThen loudly laughed Queen Budur till she fell on her back,[68] and said:\n\n [68] Note by Sir Richard: This is a mere phrase for our \u201cdying of\n laughter\u201d: the queen was on her back. And as Easterns sit on carpets,\n their falling back is very different from the same movement off a\n chair.\n\n\u201cO my dearling, how quickly thou hast forgotten the nights we have lain\ntogether!\u201d\n\nThen she made herself known to him, and he knew her for his wife, the\nLady Budur, daughter of King al-Ghayur, Lord of the Isles and the Seas.\nSo he embraced her and she embraced him, and he kissed her and she\nkissed him; then they lay down on the bed of pleasure voluptuous....\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n_Here we end our extract from the Tale of Kamar al-Zaman, although\nthe story runs on for another forty odd pages in Sir Richard Burton\u2019s\ntranslation. A situation similar to that just described occurs in\nanother story in \u2018The Nights,\u2019 and we shall have occasion to quote from\nthat in a subsequent volume._\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN_.\n\n\u201cWe are told that in the East there was once a woman named Moarbeda who\nwas a philosopher and considered to be the wisest woman of her time.\nWhen Moarbeda was once asked: \u2018In what part of a woman\u2019s body does her\nmind reside?\u2019 she replied: \u2018Between her thighs.\u2019\u201d--Havelock Ellis:\n_Studies in the Psychology of Sex_, Vol. 3: _The Sexual Impulse in\nWomen_.[69]\n\n [69] Havelock Ellis is quoting from _The Perfumed Garden of The Cheikh\n Nefzaoui_: Cosmopoli, 1886, printed for the Kama Shastra Society of\n London and Benares.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nThe amativeness of woman, as compared with that of man, is a question,\nof course, entirely beyond the scope of this note. We must be content\nwith examining some of the most interesting and pertinent extracts from\nthe works of those qualified to speak on the subject.\n\nAt the outset we are confronted with the striking fact that, while\nthe ancients were prone to regard woman as generally amative, even\nlustful, modern thought has exactly reversed this opinion. \u201cIt seems to\nhave been reserved for the nineteenth century,\u201d says Havelock Ellis,\n(_op. cit. supra_), \u201cto state that women are apt to be congenitally\nincapable of experiencing complete sexual satisfaction, and peculiarly\nliable to sexual anaesthesia. This idea appears to have been almost\nunknown to the eighteenth century....\u201d\n\nThus we have two schools of thought, one attributing to woman an\nintense sexual impulse, even greater than in man, the other holding her\nsexually frigid by nature and erotic only by pretence or accident. We\nmay helpfully quote again from our Havelock Ellis, who has summarised\nin masterly fashion the various authorities on both sides:--\n\n\u201cIn the treatise _On Generation_, (chap. 5), which until recent times\nwas commonly ascribed to Hippocrates,\u201d he says, \u201cit is stated that men\nhave greater pleasure in co\u00eftus than women, though the pleasure of\nwomen lasts longer, and this opinion, though not usually accepted, was\ntreated with great respect by medical authors down to the end of the\n17th century.... Gall had stated decisively that the sexual desires of\nmen are stronger and more imperious than those of women. (_Fonctions\ndu Cerveau_, 1825).... Raciborski declared that three-fourths of women\nmerely endure the approaches of men. (_De la Pubert\u00e9 chez la Femme_).\n\n\u201c\u2018When the question is carefully inquired into and without prejudice,\u2019\nsaid Lawson Tait, \u2018it is found that women have their sexual appetites\nfar less developed than men.\u2019 (Lawson Tait, _Provincial Medical\nJournal_, 1891). \u2018The sexual instinct is very powerful in man and\ncomparatively weak in women,\u2019 he stated elsewhere. (_Diseases of\nWomen_, 1889). Hammond stated that ... \u2018it is doubtful if in one-tenth\nof the instances of intercourse they [women] experience the slightest\npleasurable sensation from first to last.\u2019 (Hammond, _Sexual\nImpotence_).\n\n\u201cLombroso and Ferrero consider that sexual sensibility ... is less\npronounced in women.... \u2018Woman is naturally and organically frigid....\u2019\n(Lombroso and Ferrero, _La Donna Deliquente, la Prostituta, e la Donna\nNormale_, 1893). Krafft-Ebing was of opinion that women require less\nsexual satisfaction than men, being less sensual.... \u2018The sensuality\nof men,\u2019 Moll states, \u2018is in my opinion very much greater than that of\nwomen.\u2019\n\n\u201cAdler, who discusses the direction at some length, decides that the\nsexual needs of women are less than those of men, though in some cases\nthe orgasm in quantity and quality greatly exceeds that of men. He\nbelieves, not only that the sexual impulse in women is absolutely less\nthan in men, and requires stronger stimulation to arouse it, but that\nalso it suffers from a latency due to inhibition, which acts like a\nforeign body in the brain ... and demands great skill in the man who is\nto awaken the woman to love.\u201d\n\nHere we have one side of the question--a side strangely at variance\nwith ancient thought, romance and history. The supposed frigidity of\nwomen is characterised by Havelock Ellis as \u2018an opinion of very recent\ngrowth ... confined, on the whole, to a few countries.\u2019 (_Studies_,\nvol. 3, page 196). He goes on to quote Brierre de Boismont, who wrote:\n\u2018Turn to history, and on every page you will be able to recognise the\npredominance of erotic ideas in women.\u2019 It is the same to-day, he adds,\nand he attributes it to the fact that men are more easily able to\ngratify their sexual impulses. (_Des Hallucinations_, 1862).\n\n\u201cThe laws of Manu,\u201d continues Havelock Ellis, \u201cattribute to women\nconcupiscence and anger, the love of bed and of adornment. The\nJews attribute to women greater sexual desire than to men. This is\nillustrated, according to Knobel (as quoted by Dillman), by _Genesis_,\nchapter 3, verse 16.[70]\n\n [70] \u201cUnto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and\n thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy\n desire _shall be to thy husband_, and he shall rule over thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cIn Greek antiquity, ... in love between men and women the latter\nwere nearly always regarded as taking the more active part. In all\nGreek love-stories of early date the woman falls in love with the man,\nand never the reverse. \u00c6schylus makes even a father assume that his\ndaughters will misbehave if left to themselves. Euripides emphasised\nthe importance of women. \u2018The Euripidean woman who falls in love thinks\nfirst of all: \u201cHow can I seduce the man I love?\u201d\u2019 (E.F.M. Benecke:\n_Antimachus of Colophon and the Position of Women in Greek Poetry_,\n1896).\n\n\u201cThe most famous passage in Latin literature as to the question of\nwhether men or women obtain greater pleasure from sexual intercourse\nis that in which Ovid relates the legend of Tiresias (_Metamorphoses_,\n3, 317-333). Tiresias, having been both a man and a woman, decided in\nfavour of women.... In a passage quoted from a lost work of Galen by\nthe Arabian biographer, Abu-l-Faraj, that great physician says of the\nChristians \u2018that they practice celibacy, that even many of their women\ndo so.\u2019 So that in Galen\u2019s opinion it was more difficult for a woman\nthan for a man to be continent. The same view is widely prevalent among\nArabic authors, and there is an Arabic saying that \u2018The longing of the\nwoman for the penis is greater than that of the man for the vulva.\u2019[71]\n\n [71] _The Perfumed Garden of the Cheikh Nefzaoui_: Cosmopoli, 1886.\n\n\u201cThe early Christian Fathers clearly show that they regard women as\nmore inclined to sexual enjoyment than men. That was ... the opinion\nof Tertullian (_De Virginibus Velandis_), and it is clearly implied in\nsome of St. Jerome\u2019s epistles.\n\n\u201cNotwithstanding the influence of Christianity, among the vigorous\nbarbarian races of medi\u00e6val Europe the existence of sexual appetite\nin women was not considered to be, as it later became, a matter to\nbe concealed or denied. Thus in 1068 the ecclesiastical historian,\nOrdericus Vitalis (himself half Norman and half English), narrates\nthat the wives of the Norman knights who had accompanied William the\nConqueror to England two years earlier sent over to their husbands to\nsay that they were consumed by the fierce flames of desire, and that\nif their husbands failed to return very shortly they proposed to take\nother husbands. It is added that this threat brought a few husbands\nback to their wanton ladies.\n\n\u201cDuring the medi\u00e6val period in Europe, largely in consequence, no\ndoubt, of the predominance of ascetic ideals set up by men who\nnaturally regarded women as the symbol of sex, the doctrine of the\nincontinence of woman became firmly fixed.... Humanism and the spread\nof the Renaissance movement brought in a spirit more sympathetic to\nwomen.... We begin to find attempts at analysing the sexual emotions.\nIn the seventeenth century a book of this kind was written by Venette.\nIn matters of love, Venette declared, \u2018men are but children compared\nto women. In these matters women have a more lively imagination, and\nthey usually have more leisure to think of love. Women are much more\nlascivious and amorous than men.\u2019 In a subsequent chapter, dealing with\nthe question whether men or women receive more pleasure from the sexual\nembrace, Venette concludes, after admitting the great difficulty of\nthe question, that man\u2019s pleasure is greater, but that woman\u2019s lasts\nlonger. (N. Venette, _De la G\u00e9n\u00e9ration de l\u2019Homme ou Tableau de l\u2019Amour\nConjugal_, 1688).\u201d\n\nThese and similar quotations, all acknowledging or laying stress on the\nerotic appetite of women, might be continued indefinitely. Among the\nother supporters of the opinion quoted by Havelock Ellis are Montaigne\n(_Essais_), Schurig (_Parthenologia_), Plazzonus (_De Partibus\nGenerationi Inservientibus_), Ferrand (_De la Maladie d\u2019Amour_),\nZacchia (_Qu\u00e6stiones Medico-Legales_), Sinibaldus (_Geneanthropeia_),\nSenancour (_De l\u2019Amour_), Busch, Guttceit,[72] Mantegazza (_Fisiologia\ndel Piacere_), Forel (_The Sexual Question_), who believed that women\nare more erotic than men, and Bloch (_The Sexual Life of Our Time_),\nwho says, \u201cThe sexual sensibility of women is certainly different from\nthat of men, but in strength it is at least as great.\u201d\n\n [72] \u201cIn Russia at all events, a girl, as very many have acknowledged\n to me, cannot resist the ever-stronger impulses of sex beyond\n the twenty-second or twenty-third year. And if she cannot do so\n in natural ways she adopts artificial ways. The belief that the\n feminine sex feels the stimulus of sex less than the male is quite\n false.\u201d--Guttceit, _Dreissig Jahre Praxis_, 1873.\n\nFor our part, we find it hard to ignore that overwhelming consensus\nof opinion among early writers as to the erotic nature of the average\nwoman. Was not this feminine amativeness the theme upon which were\nbuilt the undying _contes_ and _fabliaux_ of Boccaccio, Bandello,\nMasuccio, Straparola, La Fontaine, Poggio, Ser Giovanni, Chaucer,\nBrant\u00f4me and a host of others? Are we to label Casanova\u2019s _Memoirs_ as\nworthless because his women seem, in our modern eyes, erotic beyond all\nbelief? Turning to the literature of the East, where woman\u2019s \u2018thirst\nfor co\u00eftion is written between her eyes,\u2019[73] are we to hold the\nfeminine attributes therein described as peculiar to those peoples and\ntimes? Must we believe that all these writers fashioned women out of\ntheir own lascivious fancy, or that the sexual impulse in the women of\nthose races has totally changed?\n\n [73] _The Perfumed Garden._ As illustrating our subject, the Cheikh\n Nefzaoui tells a quaint story of a man who, owing to physical\n disability, was unable to satisfy the sexual needs of his wife. A wise\n man gives him a remedy whereby his member grows \u201clong and thick.\u201d\n The Cheikh continues: \u201cWhen his wife saw it in that state she was\n surprised, but it came still better when he made her feel in the\n matter of enjoyment quite another thing than she had been accustomed\n to experience; he began in fact to work her with his tool in quite a\n remarkable manner, to such a point that she rattled and sighed and\n sobbed during the operation. As soon as the wife found in her husband\n such eminently good qualities, she gave him her fortune, and placed\n her person and all she had at his disposal.\u201d\n\nWithout a doubt, time and custom are responsible for much that seems\nobscure and irreconcilable. Many of our authorities are writing of an\nage in which men and women spoke and acted in a manner which to-day\nseems coarse and inexcusably free. Because in the past woman more\nreadily gave outward expression to her inward feeling, it does not\nfollow now that, by reason of her greater reserve, she lacks these\nemotions.\n\nHistory has shown us psychologists and investigators in plenty, but\nthey were not the psychologists of to-day, recording the results of\ntheir investigations with meticulous care and detail. The sexually\nfrigid woman, we can confidently assume, was by no means unknown to the\nancients. She was, however, unusual, abnormal; and if a sexually frigid\nwoman be accounted abnormal, it is not hard to see why a normal is\ndeemed erotic.\n\nIn these times, when it is the fashion to dissect everyone and\neverything, we are prone to argue from the ordinary to the\nextraordinary, from the peculiar to the general; sexual frigidity\nin woman, at first an anomaly, ends in being a trait; the exception\nbecomes, does not prove, the rule.\n\nNeedless to say, a great psychologist like Havelock Ellis has a wealth\nof information to offer on the subject, and we commend our readers to\nhis masterly handling of it. He has something to say on every aspect\nof the question, from the case of the woman who is cold almost to the\npoint of sexlessness to that of the erotic wife who \u2018becomes frenzied\nwith excitement during intercourse and insensible to everything but the\npleasure of it.\u2019 In conclusion, he adjusts the scales with exquisite\nand scientific precision, holding that \u2018the distribution of the sexual\nimpulse between the two sexes is fairly balanced.\u2019\n\nEarlier on, however, he makes a point which we shall do well to bear\nin mind. \u2018 ... Sexual impulse is by no means so weak in women as many\nwould lead us to think. It would appear that, whereas in earlier\nages there was generally a tendency to credit women with an unduly\nlarge share of the sexual impulse, there is now a tendency unduly to\nminimise the sexual impulse in women.\u2019\n\nWe shall have frequent occasion in subsequent volumes of _Anthologica\nRarissima_ to return to this subject, for, as the student of folk-lore,\npsychology and human life will readily agree, sexual impulse is perhaps\nthe most powerful basic motive of our many daily acts and tasks.[74]\n\n [74] Queen Budur\u2019s remark that \u201cWomen pray pardon with their legs on\n high,\u201d (p. 88 _ante_), finds an echo in Aristophanes\u2019 _Lysistrata_\n and _The Ecclesiazus\u00e6_. In the former play, Athenian women promise\n Lysistrata that, if forced to intercourse by their husbands, _they\n will not lift their legs in the air_; in the latter, we have a woman\n saying: \u201cHow are we going to lift up our arms in the Assembly (_i.e._,\n vote), we, who only know how to lift our legs in the act of love?\u201d\n\n Two of the authorities quoted by Havelock Ellis on p. 97 of the\n foregoing _Excursus_ merit further brief mention. Martin Schurig,\n author of _Parthenologia_ and numerous other medical works, flourished\n as a physician in Dresden between 1688 and 1733. Although many of his\n theories have long since been exploded, his great erudition is much to\n be admired. His books deal with the most amazing questions; among the\n many curious passages in _Parthenologia_ will be found the following:\n \u201cChastity put to the proof by a hot iron and boiling water.\u201d;\n \u201cConception without insertion of the _penis_.\u201d; \u201cAndramytes, King of\n the Lydori, was the inventor of castration of women, and Semiramis of\n that of men.\u201d Dr. Sinibaldus\u2019 _Geneanthropeia_, published in 1642,\n is a very remarkable work on physical love and its aberrations,\n treating, for example, of \u201cThe shape of the Phallu.\u201d; \u201cEunuchis.\u201d;\n \u201cAphrodisiac.\u201d; \u201cInfluence of the Stars on Copulatio.\u201d; \u201cEffects and\n manner of Copulatio.\u201d; \u201cPleasure of Copulation as enjoyed by man\n and woman.\u201d Little is known of Sinibaldus\u2019 life beyond that he was\n a doctor at Rome. His _Geneanthropeia_, according to Pisanus Fraxi,\n (_Index Librorum Prohibitorum_: London, 1877), has been rendered,\n in a very emasculated form, into English, under the title of _Rare\n Verities. The Cabinet of Venus Unlocked_: London, 1658. The volume is\n rare, but a copy is to be found in the British Museum.\n\n\n\n\nTHE FOOL.[75]\n\n [75] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn, Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883: vol. 1, _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_, No. 12.\n\n\nA peasant and his wife had a half-witted son, who pictured himself\nmarried and sleeping with his wife. He spoke of this matter to his\nfather.\n\n\u201cMarry me, little father,\u201d he said.\n\nSaid the little father:\n\n\u201cWait, my son. You are still too young to marry. Thy yard hath not yet\nreached to thy backside. When it doth reach there, I will marry thee.\u201d\n\nThe son seized his yard with his two hands, stretched it with all his\nstrength, and inspected it.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis true,\u201d quoth he. \u201cIt hath not yet reached to my backside. \u2018Tis\nstill too soon for me to marry. My yard is yet small. It reacheth not\nto my backside. I must wait a year or two.\u201d\n\nTime passed. The youth had naught to do but lengthen his yard; and he\ndid it so often and so well that not only did his yard reach to his\nbackside, but even passed beyond it.\n\n\u201cI shall have no shame in sleeping with my wife,\u201d said he. \u201cI will\nsatisfy her myself. She will have no need to resort to strangers.\u201d\n\n\u201cVain to expect sense on the part of a fool,\u201d argued the father to\nhimself; and he spake his son, saying:\n\n\u201cSince thy yard is become so great that it passeth beyond thy backside,\nthere is no need for thee to marry. Live single, rest at home, and\nfutter thyself.\u201d\n\nThus the matter ended.[76]\n\n [76] Stories of sexual ignorance, amounting in the case of men to\n veritable imbecility, are numerous in _Kruptadia_. In Vol. X.,\n _Stories of Picardy_, we have the tale of a young girl who had been\n seduced, but had married a half-witted youth, whom she was forced to\n instruct in the art of love. When they were in bed together, \u201cshe\n showed him how children are made--a business entirely unknown to him.\n After the explanations had been given in theory, the husband mounted\n upon his wife, desiring to show that he had learned his lesson well;\n but the young wife cried out in surprise: \u2018\u2019Tis too high! \u2018Tis too\n high!\u2019 An instant later she was forced to say: \u2018\u2019Tis too low! \u2018Tis too\n low!\u2019 Several other of his efforts having failed, she told her husband\n that he did but knock at the side of the door. Whereat the latter,\n aweary of \u2018Too high\u2019 and \u2018Too low,\u2019 exclaimed: \u2018Since thou knowest the\n spot so well, put it there thyself!\u2019\u201d\n\n\n\n\n\u201cOH MOTHER, ROGER WITH HIS KISSES.\u201d[77]\n\n [77] J. S. Farmer: _Merry Songs and Ballads_: _Privately Printed_,\n 1897: Words and Music in _Pills to Purge Melancholy_, (1707), 1, 214.\n\n\n    Oh Mother, _Roger_ with his Kisses\n        Almost stops my Breath, I vow;\n    Why does he gripe my Hand to pieces,\n        And yet he says he loves me too?\n            Tell me, Mother, pray now do!\n            Pray now do, pray now do,\n            Tell me, Mother, pray now do,\n            Pray now, pray now, pray now do,\n            What Roger means when he does so?\n            For never stir I long to know.\n\n    Nay more, the naughty Man beside it,\n        Something in my Mouth he put;\n    I call\u2019d him Beast, and try\u2019d to Bite it,\n        But for my Life I cannot do\u2019t;\n            Tell me, Mother, pray now do!\n            Pray now do, pray now do,\n            Tell me, Mother, pray now do,\n            Pray now, pray now, pray now do,\n            What Roger means when he does so?\n            For never stir I long to know.\n\n    He sets me in his Lap whole Hours,\n        Where I feel I know not what;\n    Something I never felt in yours,\n        Pray tell me Mother what is that?\n            Tell me Mother what is that?\n            For never stir I long to know.\n\n\n\n\nFOOLISH FEAR.[78]\n\n [78] _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_: R. B. Douglas\u2019 translation:\n Paris, Charles Carrington. _C.f._ note _ante_.\n\n_Of a young man of Rouen, married to a fair young girl of the age of\nfifteen or thereabouts; and how the mother of the girl wished to have\nthe marriage annulled by the Judge of Rouen, and of the sentence which\nthe said Judge pronounced when he had heard the parties--as you will\nhear more plainly in the course of the said story._\n\n\nIn the good town of Rouen, not long ago, a young man was married to a\nfair and tender virgin, aged fifteen, or thereabouts. On the day of\nthe great feast--that is to say, the wedding--the mother of the young\ngirl, as is customary in such places, instructed the bride in all the\nmysteries of wedlock, and taught her how to behave to her husband on\nthe first night.\n\nThe young girl, who was looking forward to the time when she could put\nthese doctrines into practice, took great pains and trouble to remember\nthe lesson given her by her good mother, and it seemed to her that when\nthe time came for her to put these counsels into execution, that she\nwould perform her duties so well that her husband would praise her,\nand be well pleased with her.\n\nThe wedding was performed with all honour and due solemnity, and the\ndesired night came; and soon after the feast was ended, and the young\npeople had withdrawn after having taken leave of the newly married\ncouple, the mother, cousins, neighbours, and other lady friends led the\nbride to the chamber where she was to spend the night with her husband,\nwhere they joyfully divested her of her raiment, and put her to bed, as\nwas right and proper. Then they wished her good-night, and one said:\n\n\u201cMy dear, may God give thee joy and pleasure in thy husband, and mayst\nthou so live with him as to be for the salvation of both your souls.\u201d\n\nAnother said:\n\n\u201cMy dear, God give thee such peace and happiness with thy husband, that\nthe heavens may be filled with your works.\u201d\n\nAnd all, having expressed similar wishes, left. The bride\u2019s mother,\nwho remained the last, questioned her daughter if perchance she had\nremembered the lesson she had been taught. And the girl, who, as the\nproverb goes, did not carry her tongue in her pocket, replied that\nshe well remembered all that had been told her, and--thank God--had\nforgotten nothing.\n\n\u201cWell done,\u201d said the mother. \u201cNow I will leave thee, recommending thee\nto God and praying that He may give thee good luck. Farewell, my dear\nchild.\u201d\n\n\u201cFarewell, my good and wise mother.\u201d\n\nAs soon as the schoolmistress[79] had finished, the husband, who was\noutside the door expecting something better, came in. The mother closed\nthe door, and told him that she hoped he would be gentle with her\ndaughter. He promised that he would, and as soon as he had bolted the\ndoor, he--who had nothing on but his doublet--threw it off, jumped on\nthe bed, drew as close as he might to his bride, and, lance in hand,\nprepared to give battle.\n\n [79] Obviously a play on words, with reference to the lessons in\n marital duty given by the mother to the daughter.\n\nBut when he approached the barrier where the skirmish was to take\nplace, the girl laid hold of his lance, which was as straight and stiff\nas a cow-keeper\u2019s horn, and when she felt how hard and big it was, she\nwas sore affrighted, and fell to crying aloud, saying that her shield\nwas not of a strength to receive and bear the blows of so huge a weapon.\n\nAll his efforts notwithstanding, the husband could not persuade\nher to joust with him, and this bickering endured throughout the\nnight, without his being able to do aught, which much displeased our\nbridegroom. Nevertheless, he abode patient, hoping to make up for the\ntime lost on the following night; but \u2018twas the same as on the first\nnight, even so on the third, and even so up to the fifteenth, matters\nremaining just as I have related.\n\nAnd when fifteen days had passed since the young couple were wed, they\nstill not having come together, the mother came to visit her pupil, and\nafter a thousand questions, spoke to the girl of her husband, demanding\nwhat sort of a man he was and whether he did his duty well. And the\ngirl answered that he was very well as a man, and was a quiet and a\npeaceable.\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d said the mother, \u201cdoth he do what he ought to do?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea,\u201d quoth the girl, \u201cbut....\u201d\n\n\u201cBut _what_?\u201d said the mother. \u201cThou art keeping something back, I am\nassured. Tell me forthwith and conceal naught; for I must know now. Is\nhe a man capable of performing his marital duties in the way I taught\nthee?\u201d\n\nThe poor girl, being thus pressed, was obliged to own that he had not\nyet done the business, but she did not say that she was the cause of\nthe delay, and that she had always refused the combat.\n\nWhen her mother heard this sad news, God knows what a disturbance she\nmade, swearing by all her gods that she would soon find a remedy for\nthat, for she was well acquainted with the Judge of Rouen, who was her\nfriend, and would favour her cause.\n\n\u201cThe marriage must be annulled,\u201d said she, \u201cand I have no doubt but\nthat I shall find a way, and thou mayst be sure, my child, that before\ntwo days are past thou wilt be divorced and married to another man, who\nwill not let thee rest in peace all that time. Dost leave the business\nto me.\u201d\n\nThe good woman, half beside herself, went and related her wrong to her\nhusband, the father of the girl, and told him that they had lost their\ndaughter, and adducing many reasons why the marriage should be annulled.\n\nShe pleaded her cause so well that her husband took her side, and was\ncontent that the bridegroom (who knew no reason why a complaint should\nbe lodged against him) should be cited before the Judge. But, at any\nrate, he was personally summoned to appear before the Judge, at his\nwife\u2019s demand, to show cause why he should not leave her, and permit\nher to marry again, or explain the reason why, in so many days that\nhe had lived with her, he had not demonstrated that he was a man, and\nperformed the duties that a husband should.\n\nWhen the day came, the parties presented themselves at the proper time\nand place, and they were called upon to state their case. The mother of\nthe bride began to plead her daughter\u2019s cause, and God knoweth the laws\nconcerning marriage which she quoted, none of which, she maintained,\nhad her son-in-law fulfilled; therefore she demanded that he should be\ndivorced from her daughter forthwith without more ado.\n\nThe young man was much astonished to find himself thus attacked, but\nlost no time in replying to the allegations of his adversary, quietly\nstating his case, and relating in what wise his wife had always refused\nhim leave to perform his marital duties.\n\nThe mother, when she heard this reply, was more wroth than ever, and\ncould scarce bring herself to believe it; and she asked her daughter if\nthat was true which her husband had said.\n\n\u201cYea, truly, mother,\u201d replied the girl.\n\n\u201cOh, wretched child,\u201d said her mother. \u201cWherefore didst thou refuse?\nDid I not teach thee thy lesson many times?\u201d\n\nThe poor girl might not answer, so shamed was she.\n\n\u201cAt any rate,\u201d said the mother, \u201cI must know the reason why thou hast\nrefused. Tell it me forthwith, lest I grow exceeding wroth.\u201d\n\nThe girl was forced to confess that she had found the lance of the\nchampion so vast, that she had not dared to present her shield lest\nhe killed her; and so she still felt, nor was she reassured on that\npoint, albeit her mother had bade her be without fear. Whereat the\nmother addressed the Judge, saying:\n\n\u201cMonseigneur, thou hast heard the confession of my daughter, and the\ndefence of my son-in-law. I beg of thee give judgement forthwith.\u201d\n\nThe Judge gave orders for a bed to be prepared in his house, the couple\nto lie on it together; and he commanded the bride boldly to lay hold of\nthe tilting staff,[80] and put it where it was ordered to go. When this\njudgement was delivered, the mother said:\n\n [80] Mr. Douglas translates simply: ... \u201cstick or instrument.\u201d The\n word in the text, _bourdon_, signifies literally \u201ca pilgrim\u2019s staff.\u201d\n It is followed by the word _joustouer_, \u201cto tilt or joust,\u201d or \u201ca\n tilter, a jouster,\u201d which Mr. Douglas ignores. The combination,\n however, seems to keep more faithfully to the spirit of the story. On\n the other hand, _bourdon_ is a recognised erotic term for _penis_.\n Farmer, (_Slang and its Analogues_: vol. 5, p. 290), quotes Rabelais\n as employing the word in this sense. Landes, (_Glossaire \u00e9rotique de\n la langue fran\u00e7aise_: Brussels, 1861), includes it in a list which\n comprises 212 slang terms for the male organ of generation. _Le petit\n Citateur: Notes \u00e9rotiques et pornographiques_: Paris, 1881: only\n 300 printed, a curious and valuable little work dealing with the\n lesser known expressions and metaphors of venery, and intended to\n serve as a complement to the ordinary erotic dictionary, describes\n _bourdon_ as \u201cthe virile member, the grand chord which gives the\n note in the amorous duet.\u201d The _Memoirs of Miss Fanny_ are quoted:\n \u201c ... enraptured, split open by the enormous size of my ravisher\u2019s\n _bourdon_, my thighs all bloodstained, I remained for some time\n overwhelmed by fatigue and pleasure....\u201d The French text referred to\n in the foregoing note is that of Garnier Fr\u00e8res, Paris, n.d.\n\n\u201cI thank thee, my lord; thou hast judged well. Come, my child, do what\nthou shouldst, and take heed to obey the Judge, and put the lance where\nit should be put.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am satisfied,\u201d answered the daughter, \u201cto put it where it ought to\ngo, but it may rot there ere I take it out again.\u201d\n\nSo they quitted the court, and went and carried out the sentence\nthemselves, without the aid of any sergeants. By this means the young\nman enjoyed his joust, and was sooner weary of it than she who would\nnot begin.[81]\n\n [81] This story, the 86th of _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_, is\n singularly lacking in climax when compared with the majority of old\n _fabliaux_. The opening is very promising; but once the husband has\n stated his case, the fabric seems to fall to pieces, and the wife\u2019s\n final speech is as silly as it is unjustified. The author has tried\n to round off the story by dragging in the ages-old tag about the\n woman who, from hating the pleasures of love, becomes a veritable\n glutton for them. Compared with \u201cBeyond the Mark,\u201d which is artistic\n and dramatic from the first to the last line, \u201cFoolish Fear\u201d is a\n poor thing. Nevertheless, we have thought fit to include it in this\n anthology because its opening is as characteristic as its finish is\n _un_characteristic of this type of _fabliaux_.\n\n\n\n\nTHE PRINCESS WHO PISSETH OVER THE HAYCOCKS.[82]\n\n [82] _Kruptadia_: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, Heilbronn, 1883: _Stories of\n Picardy._\n\n\nA peasant died and left three sons. On their return home from the\ninterment of their father, the three young men took counsel together.\nThe dead man had not been wealthy, and he bequeathed to his sons only\nhis house and a small piece of land.\n\nAfter much discussion, it was decided that the eldest should leave the\nhouse and land to his brethren, and go forth into the world to seek his\nfortune. If he succeeded, he would return forthwith to his brethren\nthat they might share his good fortune, but if he did not return within\na year and a day, the second brother should set out in search of him.\nThis agreed, the eldest embraced his brethren and set forth.\n\nSallying from the village, he discovered two roads. In perplexity, he\ntossed a coin in the air, and as it fell, so he made his choice. He\njourneyed long without encountering aught but inns and farms, where he\nspent the night, renewing his quest on the morrow. At length, after\ntravelling fifteen days, he came to a magnificent castle.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis here perchance I shall find fortune,\u201d quoth he. \u201cI will enter the\ncastle and seek service within.\u201d\n\nBut all the offices were filled. Going forth, he encountered the owner\nof the castle, who was king of the countryside, and at his request the\nyouth related his purpose in coming to this domain.\n\nQuoth the king:\n\n\u201cEmployment I have none to offer thee in my palace; but I have a better\nproposal to make. I have a daughter of the like not seen elsewhere\non earth. She pisseth over the most lofty houses. All the physicians\nI have summoned cannot cure her, and it is a sad pity, for she is of\nsurpassing beauty. If thou canst prevent her from pissing over the\nhaycocks which thou shalt erect, thy fortune is made. I will give her\nto thee in marriage. If thou failest, thou shalt go join in their\nprison those imbeciles of physicians and charlatans who have already\nsought to succeed in this my proposal. Thou dost understand? See then\nif thou believest thyself capable of this achievement.\u201d\n\nThe youth, having taken counsel with himself for several moments,\naccepted the king\u2019s proposal. This latter, leading him within the\npalace, set him to dine with his wife and daughter. The Princess was\na marvel of beauty, and the peasant could not satiate his eyes of her\nperfections. He was apportioned a chamber in the castle, what time he\nawaited the day of his trial.\n\nOn the morrow the young adventurer chose a vast field, and thither\ncaused to be borne five or six hundred loads of hay. Next he took a\nhundred peasants and set them to erect an enormous haycock.\n\n\u201cIf the Princess doth succeed in pissing o\u2019er this heap of hay,\u201d he\nthought, \u201cI am mad.\u201d And he went to tell the king the haycock was ready.\n\nOn the morrow came the Princess; and she fell to laughing when she saw\nthe haycock. She raised her robe and pissed high o\u2019er the heap of hay.\nThe youth was thunderstruck. On the order of the king, they seized the\nyouth and cast him into a dungeon with the physicians who had essayed\nthe venture before him.\n\nA year and a day after the departure of his eldest brother, the second\npeasant set forth in his turn, taking the road followed by his brother\none year before. Journeying fifteen days, he, too, came upon the\ncastle, and, entering therein, demanded the work of a servant. Him also\nthe king saw, putting the proposal he had made to his elder brother.\nWhich proposal the youth accepted.\n\nWell received by the family of the Princess, he pictured himself\nalready the son-in-law of the king, and built project upon project for\nthe future. He chose a vast plain, and thither caused to be borne six\nthousand loads of hay. Next he took one thousand labourers and set them\nto erect the haycock.\n\nOn the morrow the Princess approached the haycock, gave vent to a great\nshriek of laughter, raised her robe, and--pissed high o\u2019er the haycock.\n\nAnd the second brother went to join his elder in the dungeon of the\nking\u2019s palace.\n\nThe youngest peasant was sore pained in that his brethren returned not.\n\n\u201cAssuredly they have suffered some mischance in their travels,\u201d quoth\nhe to himself. \u201c\u2018Twere ill of me did I not set forth in search of them,\nand render them aid in their misfortune.\u201d\n\nHe, in his turn, quitted the village. Chance took him by the same\nroad as that taken by his brethren, and he came to the palace of the\nking who held them prisoner. He entered the palace, saw the king, and\naccepted the proposal made to him. At table he found the Princess\nadorable, and the Princess found him charming. This he perceived, and\nresolved never to quit her side. All night he dreamed of the Princess,\nnor did he wake till the sun was up. Then he fell to leisurely\nreflection.\n\n\u201cAll the same,\u201d said he to himself, \u201cif I succeed in taking the\nmaidenhead of the Princess before the trial, perchance she will not\npiss so high. I am convinced that all dependeth on her virginity. I\nwill attempt this method.\u201d\n\nWhen day came, he arose and went to walk in the castle park. The\nPrincess had not slept the whole night long, ever seeing the\ncountenance of the young man. At daybreak she arose and went to walk in\nthe park, where she encountered the young peasant.\n\nAnd this last did not let slip the occasion; he approached the young\ngirl and avowed that he died of love for her. The Princess was easy\nof persuasion, and one hour afterward she had lost her maidenhead.\nThen she re-entered the palace, the youth walking till the hour of\nthe morning meal, when he, too, entered the palace as if naught had\nhappened.\n\nAt noontide he caused to be borne into a corner of the park a single\nload of hay; then told the king that he was ready for the trial.\n\nAnd when the king, accompanied by his daughter, approached the tiny\nhaycock which had been erected by the young man, he cried out that the\ntrial was not serious, and he counselled the peasant to construct a\nmuch loftier haycock. But the peasant affirmed that the heap of hay was\nsufficient, whereat the king ordered his daughter to piss.\n\nWho was the most astonished? Truly the king and the Princess, when\nthe latter only succeeded in watering her stockings, for the charming\nchannel, wherein the young man had laboured with the girl, from being\nnarrow, had grown great.\n\nJudge then if the peasant was satisfied. The Princess, though she did\nnot let the youth perceive it, was likewise satisfied. And the king\ngave his daughter to the young man, their nuptials were celebrated, the\nyoung peasants became princes, and all lived happily ever afterward.\n\n\n\n\nTHE COMB.[83]\n\n [83] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn, Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883, vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_.\n\n\nAn old man bought a sheep\u2019s cloak for his wife, and he futtered her the\nwhole night long at the foot of the fence. In the morning the weather\nwas damp, and the old woman, with back bent, went weeping; but the old\nman followed and mounted her. Said the woman to her husband:\n\n\u201cTear me not in this fashion, Gabriel!\u201d\n\nBut the man was hard of hearing, knew not what she said, thrust his\nyard into her, and futtered her dog-fashion.... The eye is ne\u2019er too\nweary to see, nor the backside to fizzle, nor the nose to take snuff,\nnor the coynte to lose the chance of a goodly futter.... But this by\nway of a prelude ... a foreword.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nOnce there lived a pope,[84] who possessed a daughter, a virgin and an\nartless. And when summer came the pope was wont to hire workmen to mow\nthe hay; and he hired them in this wise:\n\n [84] A priest of the Greek Church.\n\nIf his daughter pissed o\u2019er the haycock which the workman had mown,\nthe man went wageless. Workmen a-plenty hired themselves to the pope,\nbut, one and all, they laboured wageless; the daughter, whatsoe\u2019er the\nheight of the haycock, pissed o\u2019er it.\n\nYet another workman and a bold did accept the conditions; if the pope\u2019s\ndaughter pissed o\u2019er the haycock which he had mown, no claim for his\nwork would he make. Then mowed the workman his hay; when he had mown it\nand set it in a heap, he lay down beside the haycock, drew forth his\nyard from his drawers, and fell to toying with it. The pope\u2019s daughter\ndrew nigh to the workman to scrutinise the haycock, cast a glance at\nhim, and said:\n\n\u201cWhat dost thou, little peasant?\u201d\n\n\u201cI rub my comb.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat dost comb with this comb of thine?\u201d\n\n\u201cCome--I will comb thee. Lie down on the hay.\u201d\n\nThe pope\u2019s daughter lay down on the hay, the workman fell to combing\nher, and he winnowed her as was proper. Anon the young girl rose up and\nsaid:\n\n\u201cWhat a delicious comb!\u201d\n\nAfterwards she sought to piss o\u2019er the haycock; of no avail; she did\npiss upon herself, as it might run from a sieve. Seeking out her\nfather, she spake him, saying:\n\n\u201cThe haycock is too high; I may not piss o\u2019er it.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh! my daughter! here in sooth is a goodly workman. I will hire him\nfor a year.\u201d\n\nAnd when the workman came to receive his wage, the pope said:\n\n\u201cFriend, hire thyself to me for a year.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am willing,\u201d quoth the workman; and he hired himself to the pope.\nMost contented, too, was the pope\u2019s daughter, and when night came she\nsought the workman, saying:\n\n\u201cComb me.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, I will not comb thee for nought. Give me one hundred roubles. Buy\nthe comb.\u201d\n\nThe pope\u2019s daughter gave him one hundred roubles, and nightly he combed\nher.\n\nCame a time when the workman fell out with the pope, saying:\n\n\u201cRender me my wage, little father.\u201d\n\nHis wage rendered, the workman went his way. Now the pope\u2019s daughter\nwas not present when these things were done, but when she returned to\nthe house she inquired:\n\n\u201cWhere is the workman?\u201d\n\n\u201cHe demanded his wage and is gone forthwith to the village,\u201d quoth the\npope.\n\n\u201cAh! little father! what hast thou done? He hath carried off my comb!\u201d\ncried the pope\u2019s daughter.\n\nShe hastened in pursuit, and came upon him by a little stream; the\nworkman had tucked up his drawers and was fording the stream.\n\n\u201cGive me my comb!\u201d cried the pope\u2019s daughter.\n\nThe workman took a stone and cast it into the water.\n\n\u201cPick it up,\u201d said he; and, passing to the other side of the stream,\nwent his way.\n\nThe pope\u2019s daughter tucked up her petticoat, entered the water, and\nsought the comb. She rummaged at the bottom of the stream. No comb.\n\nChanced to pass a lord, who cried to her:\n\n\u201cWhat seekest, little dove?\u201d\n\n\u201cMy comb! I have purchased it from a workman for one hundred roubles;\ndeparting, he carried it off with him. Him I pursued, and he cast the\ncomb in the water.\u201d\n\nThe lord descended from his carriage, removed his breeches, and entered\nthe water in search of the comb. They searched; together they searched.\nOn a sudden the pope\u2019s daughter perceived that a yard hung \u2018twixt the\nlord\u2019s legs. She seized it with both hands, gripped it fast, and cried:\n\n\u201cShame on thee, lord! \u2018Tis my comb! Give it me!\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat dost thou, shameless one? Leave hold of me!\u201d said the lord.\n\n\u201cNay, \u2018tis thou who art shameless! Thou wouldst take what pertains to\nanother. Give me my comb!\u201d\n\nAnd she dragged him by his yard to her father.\n\nThe pope gazed through the window. Behold, his daughter dragged a lord\nby his yard and never ceased from crying: \u201cGive me my comb, wretched\nfellow!\u201d what time the lord made plaintive sound, saying: \u201cLittle\nfather, deliver me from a death not deserved! All my life I will not\nforget thee!\u201d\n\nFrom his drawers the pope drew forth his yard, displayed it to his\ndaughter through the window, and cried:\n\n\u201cMy daughter! my daughter! Here is thy comb!\u201d\n\n\u201cTruly \u2018tis mine!\u201d cried the daughter. \u201cBehold its red end! And I\nthought the lord had taken it!\u201d\n\nAnd she released this unfortunate and sped into the house. The lord\ndrew on his hose and took to his heels.\n\nThe girl came running into the house.\n\n\u201cWhere is my comb, little father?\u201d\n\n\u201cAh! what a daughter!\u201d grumbled the pope. \u201cSee, little mother. I\nbelieve she hath lost her maidenhead.\u201d\n\n\u201cExamine her thyself, little father,\u201d said the popess. \u201cThat will be\nbetter.\u201d\n\nThe pope lowered his drawers and gave the comb to his daughter. When\nthey were in action, the pope gasped and cried:\n\n\u201cNo, no--the girl hath not lost her honour....\u201d\n\nQuoth the popess:\n\n\u201cLittle father, push her honour yet further back.\u201d\n\n\u201cFear not, little mother. She will not let it fall. I have pushed it\nfar.\u201d\n\nThus went the pope\u2019s daughter to the comb. Henceforward the pope combed\nthem both, regaling them with his little \u2018doll,\u2019[85] passing his life\nin futtering both daughter and mother.\n\n [85] French _Poup\u00e9e_, which, in the slang phraseology of that\n language, properly denotes a harlot. On the other hand, we have the\n term _dolly_ as a synonym for _penis_. (_C.f._ Farmer: _Slang and its\n Analogues_.) This use of _poup\u00e9e_, which, of course, is literally\n translated by _doll_, is peculiar; our French lexicographers do not\n include it in their lists of synonyms for the _membrum virile_.\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE PRINCESS WHO PISSETH OVER THE HAYCOCKS_ and _THE\nCOMB_.\n\nThe main theme of these two stories----the ability of a virgin girl\nto urinate to a great height----is founded on physiological fact,\nalthough, of course, grossly distorted and exaggerated. \u201cIn children,\u201d\nsays Havelock Ellis, (_Studies in the Psychology of Sex_, vol. 5:\n_Erotic Symbolism_), \u201cthe vulva appears to look directly forward\nand the clitoris and urinary meatus easily appear, while in adult\nwomen, and especially after attempts at co\u00eftus have been made, the\nvulva appears directed more below and behind, and the clitoris and\nmeatus more covered by the labia majora; so that the child urinates\nforward, while the adult woman is usually able to urinate almost\ndirectly downwards in the erect position, though in some cases (as may\noccasionally be observed in the street) she can only do so when bending\nslightly forwards.\n\n\u201cThis difference in the direction of the stream formerly furnished\none of the methods of diagnosing virginity, an uncertain one, since\nthe difference is largely due to age and individual variation.\nThe main factor in the position and aspect of the vulva is pelvic\ninclination....\u201d\n\nHavelock Ellis, later on in the same volume of his _Studies_, again\nrefers to the subject:\n\n\u201cA sign to which the old authors often attached much importance was\nfurnished by the urinary stream. In the _De Secretis Mulierum_, wrongly\nattributed to Albertus Magnus,[86] it is laid down that \u2018the virgin\nurinates higher than the woman.\u2019 Riolan, in his _Anthropographia_,\ndiscussing the ability of virgins to ejaculate urine to a height,\nstates that Scaliger had observed women who were virgins emit urine in\na high jet against a wall, but that married women could seldom do this.\nBonaciolus also stated that the urine of virgins is emitted in a small\nstream to a distance with an acute hissing sound. (_Parthenologia_, p.\n281.)[87] ... There is no doubt a tendency for the various stresses of\nsexual life to produce an influence in this direction, though they act\nfar too slowly and uncertainly to be a reliable index to the presence\nor the absence of virginity.\n\n [86] \u201cAlready in the thirteenth century, Albert Bollst\u0153dt, Bishop\n of Ratisbonne, better known as Albertus Magnus, had, in spite of\n his clerical profession, furnished much scabrous matter concerning\n the opposite sex in his work _De Secretis Mulierum_.\u201d--_Centuria\n Librorum Absconditorum_: Pisanus Fraxi (Ashbee): London: Privately\n Printed, 1879. The compiler of this monumental work and the two\n companion volumes, _Index Librorum Prohibitorum_ and _Catena Librorum\n Tacendorum_, would seem to be at variance with Havelock Ellis. A\n further reference to Albertus Magnus by Fraxi is worth giving: \u201cShall\n a bishop, raised to the See of Ratisbonne, (exclaims the erudite James\n Atkinson) and (still more monstrous) shall a canonised man, an \u2018in\n c\u0153lum sublevatus,\u2019 undertake a natural history of the most natural\n secret, inter secretalia f\u0153minea? Is the natural and divine law at\n once to be expounded, inter Scyllam et Charybdim, of defailance and\n human orgasm?\u201d----Medical Bibliography, p. 72.\n\n [87] We have already referred to Schurig\u2019s work.\n\n\u201cAnother common ancient test of virginity by urination rests on a\npsychic basis, and appears in a variety of forms which are really all\nreducible to the same principle. Thus we are told in _De Secretis\nMulierum_ that to ascertain if a girl has been seduced she should be\ngiven to eat of powdered crocus flowers, and if she has been seduced\nshe immediately urinates. We are here concerned with auto-suggestion,\nand it may well be believed that with nervous and credulous girls this\ntest often revealed the truth....\n\n\u201c ... The ancient custom, known in classic times, of measuring the neck\nthe day after marriage was frequently practised to ascertain if a girl\nwas or was not a virgin. There were various ways of doing this. One was\nto measure with a thread the circumference of the bride\u2019s neck before\nshe went to bed on the bridal night. If in the morning the same thread\nwould not go around her neck it was a sure sign that she had lost her\nvirginity during the night; if it would, she was still a virgin or\nhad been deflowered at an earlier period. Catullus alluded to this\ncustom,[88] which still exists, or existed until lately,[89] in the\nsouth of France. It is perfectly sound, for it rests on the intimate\nresponse by congestion of the thyroid gland to sexual excitement.\n(_Parthenologia_, p. 283.)\u201d\n\n [88] \u201cNor shall the nurse at orient light returning, with\n yester-e\u2019en\u2019s thread succeed in circling her neck.\u201d--_The Carmina of\n Catullus_: Englished into verse and prose by Sir R. F. Burton and\n L. C. Smithers: London, 1894. Burton and Smithers, apparently, were\n unaware of the medical significance of the test, for they add in a\n note: \u201cThe ancients, says Pezay, had faith in another equally absurd\n test of virginity. They measured the circumference of the neck with\n a thread. Then the girl under trial took the two ends of the magic\n thread in her teeth, and if it was found to be so long that its bight\n could be passed over her head, it was clear she was not a maid. By\n this rule all the thin girls might pass for vestals, and all the plump\n ones for the reverse.\u201d\n\n [89] Havelock Ellis is writing in 1914.\n\n\n\n\nTHE SKIRMISH.[90]\n\n [90] _The Dialogues of Luisa Sigea_: Translated from the Latin of\n Nicolas Chorier: Paris: Isidore Liseux, 1890. Our extract is from the\n opening lines of the first dialogue; the phraseology, at times, is our\n own.\n\n\n_Tullia._\n\nSweet it is to me, dearest cousin, that thy marriage with Caviceo is\nfinally concluded: for, the night which will make thee a wife in his\nembraces will, I assure thee, afford thee by far the greatest of all\npleasures; provided Venus befriend thee, as this thy heavenly shape\ndeserveth.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nMy mother told me this morning that I am to be wedded to-morrow to\nCaviceo. And I see that the requisites for the pomp of this event are\nbeing prepared at home with great care: the bed, bed-room, and so\nforth. But, of course, these things cause less joy than fear in my\nsoul; for, whatever in fine may be that pleasure of which thou, my\ndearest cousin, speakest, I neither know nor even imagine.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nIt should seem nowise strange that thou at this age and so soft (for\nthou hast barely attained thy fifteenth year), dost not know what\nI, though older when I married, wholly ignored; that delight which\nPomponia used to promise and so loudly extol, having been tasting it\nherself since three years.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nBut what greatly surpriseth me is that thou shouldst wholly ignore it.\nAllow me to speak more openly now that I am on the eve of complete\nfreedom. For if the practice were lacking, which thou certainly hadst\nnot, yet thy great learning must have disclosed these secrets to thee.\nI often hear thee extolled to the clouds in the most flattering terms,\nbecause thou art so skilled in Latin and Greek literature as in nearly\nall the liberal arts that there seemeth to be naught which thou dost\nnot know.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nMy father had so much to do in this, that, with the same zeal as most\nother girls are seeking after the reputation of being handsome and\nelegant, I was entirely bent on acquiring the honour of being a learned\nmaid. And they that prefer to flatter than speak the truth, say: she\nhath not quite lost her time.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nThey who will not flatter say also: scarcely have esteem of virtue,\ngood morals remained with those of our sex who were considered learned,\neven when they obtained this honour.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nWould they deny I am chaste, while owning I am learned?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nAy, they would; but thou hast won the admiration of all while taking\ncare that thy learning did not interfere with thy good and chaste\nmorals; it hath produced an extraordinary prodigy. But how could it\nbe possible that the Muses, who are styled virgins, should be deemed\nhostile to the honour of virgins? Why are they said to corrupt our\nminds, they who are as the ardour of our souls, stimulating us all,\nmen and women alike, to grand and praiseworthy actions? Undoubtedly\nbecause men, from a certain haughty and silly malignity, envy us these\nresources of which they themselves are proud, by making us the victims\nof their jealousy. Men shun every poison and venom just as we do,\nwhom they call the weaker sex, because the same pest which may take\nour lives away, may take theirs away too. If learning be a venom and\na pest for us, as they assert, how is it that so dangerous a thing,\nin order to be useful to men, (for they do not deny but that it is\nuseful to them), should change its nature all on a sudden? If learning\nis, of its very essence, a certain source of every evil and crime for\nus, how shall they drink out of the same source the nectarean waters\nof immortal glory: whilst we unhappy and wretched women shall drink\na sort of sulphureous Stygian water which will excite us to those\ndebaucheries, to which they drive us by their sway or lead us by their\nexample? For, I remember that thou spokest thus on this subject a few\ndays ago in thy conversation with Caviceo. It is exceedingly nice of\nthee to have conserved until now that pure reputation of an honest\nwoman, with that beauty which inflameth even the coldest, with that\nlearning which doth captivate those insensible of beauty.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nThou who speakest thus, thou who knowest that love inflameth men\u2019s\nhearts, art not so simple as I thought.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nAm I totally ignorant of what Caviceo\u2019s eyes, brow, in a word, his\nwhole countenance so often told me, even though he were silent? I was\nindeed truly surprised at the unwonted fire of his kisses, when he made\nfree with me eight days ago; I know but too well what that ardour and\nfire meant.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nThy mother was absent? thou wast alone? thou wast not at all afraid of\nhim?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nMy mother was gone out; but what was to be feared from him? Of course I\nfeared naught.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nAll he asked was kisses?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nOn the contrary, the fool took them against my will, brandishing his\nglowing tongue between my lips.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nWhat sensation came over thee, then?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nI shall acknowledge it: some heat or other hitherto unfelt passed\nthrough my veins: my whole frame was inflamed. He thought that a maiden\nblush bepainted my cheek; for a little while he forebore his folly and\nbusy hand.... I shall ever hate those roguish hands, from the very fact\nthat they with their fire impregnated me, tortured and wearied!\n\n_Tullia._\n\nA nice affair!\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nWhy? having stuck his hand in my breast, he seized one of my paps, then\nthe other; and while he was handling each of them rather hard, lo! he\ntossed me over on my back in spite of me.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nThou art blushing; the deed was accomplished.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nHis left hand was laid on my bosom (I am stating how the thing was\ndone), he easily overcame all my efforts; he next slipped his right\nhand under my petticoat. I blush, I blush to tell it.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nLay aside that ridiculous modesty; fancy thou art relating to thyself\nwhat thou art telling me.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nHaving speedily lifted my petticoat above my knees, he handled my\nthighs. Oh! hadst thou beheld his sparkling eyes!\n\n_Tullia._\n\nSo thou wast happy then!\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nHaving carried his hand higher, he invaded that place which, they say,\ndistinguisheth us from the other sex; ay, it is now a year ago, and\never since a lot of blood doth run from me every month during several\ndays.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nBravo, Caviceo! ah! ah! ah!\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nOh, the rascal! \u201cThis part,\u201d he saith, \u201cwill soon rejoice me\nexceedingly. Do consent, my Ottavia.\u201d A little more and I had fainted\nat these words.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nWhat did he then do?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nThat part of me, thou wouldst scarcely believe, hath a very small\nslit....\n\n_Tullia._\n\nBut inflamed, but glowing.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nHe thrust his finger into it, and, as the place could barely contain\nit, I felt a sharp pain throughout all my senses. But he: \u201cI have a\nvirgin,\u201d said he, and no sooner said than forcibly opening my thighs\nwhich I kept as tight as ever I could, he threw himself upon me.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nThou art silent? he put naught but his finger in?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nI felt ... but what effrontery is mine to speak so much about it!\n\n_Tullia._\n\nAnd I too, whom thou makest so much of, have undergone it, as thou.\nNaught is more daring than a bridegroom, whom every delay doth\nexasperate exceedingly, until he gathereth that flower of his bride.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nI soon felt some hard and warm mass between my thighs. He forced me\nto open; with a robust effort he directed that thing against my body\nand that slit. But I, having mustered up strength, threw myself to the\nother side, and slipping my left hand between us both, I laid it on\nthat place where the fray was so furiously raging.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nThou couldst with one hand ward off so powerful a catapult?\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nYea. \u201cO naughty man,\u201d would I say, \u201cwhy dost thou annoy me thus? Let me\ngo, if thou lovest me: by what crime have I deserved this torture?\u201d And\ntears flowed from my eyes: but such was the state of my mind, that I\ndid not even dare open my mouth or utter a cry to call for help.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nWithal Caviceo did not even pierce thee with his lance[91]? it did not\nenter into thy trench[91]?\n\n [91] Erotic terms in English, French and Latin slang, respectively,\n for the _penis_ and female _pudendum_. (_C.f._ Farmer, _op. cit._).\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nI seized it and held it aside, but unlucky event! I felt myself\ncompletely drenched with a regular shower like fire, and, naked as I\nwas, wet up to the navel. I put my hand to it again; but when falling\non that sort of slimy fluid with which the mad fellow had flooded me,\nmy hand recoiled from fright and horror.\n\n_Tullia._\n\nTherefore neither was he vanquished nor thou victorious, since he was\nvery near carrying off a real victory.\n\n_Ottavia._\n\nCaviceo was far more agreeable to me since that day. Nor do I know the\npowerful desire that doth agitate my soul. I ignore what I long for,\nand cannot mention it. All I know is that Caviceo pleaseth me far more\nthan all mortals; I expect from him alone the supreme pleasure which I\ndo not understand, as I ignore what it may be like. I desire naught and\nyet desire....\n\n_Here we end our extract from Luisa\u2019s Dialogues. We shall have\noccasion to quote from them again in subsequent volumes of Anthologica\nRarissima._\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE SKIRMISH_.\n\nNicolas Chorier, the author of the _Dialogues of Luisa Sigea_ (the book\nis commonly called the _Aloisia_ or the _Meursius_, after the name of\nthe supposed author or translator) was born at Vienne, Dauphiny, in\n1612; he received a law-doctor\u2019s degree in 1639, and practised the\nprofession of lawyer at the Court of Aids in his native town.[92] A\nman of cultivated mind, a passionate lover of letters, a first-rate\nLatinist, he devoted only a very limited part of his time to causes of\nthe bar.\n\n [92] We are quoting from the English translator\u2019s \u201cNotice of Nicolas\n Chorier\u201d in the Liseux edition already mentioned.\n\nWhile passing out of the Jesuit Academy, and during the course of his\nlaw studies, he tried his hand at a variety of works both in French\nand Latin.... The composition of the _Aloisia_, or at least the first\ndraft, for he must often have retouched this chief work, may be traced\nback to that time. \u201cI wrote then,\u201d he tells us in his _Memoirs_,\n\u201c_Epistles_, _Speeches_, a _Political Dissertation_ on the French\nalliance with the Ottoman Empire, and two _Satires_, the one Menippean,\nthe other Sotadical.\u201d[93] ...\n\n [93] The Sotadical Satire is so-called after Sotades, who lived three\n centuries before Christ, and whose erotic poems are unfortunately\n lost.--English Translator\u2019s note. According to a note in _Priapeia_\n (Cosmopoli, 1890, _Privately Printed_), Sotades, the Mantinean poet,\n was the first to treat of Greek love, or dishonest and unnatural\n love. He wrote in the Ionian dialect, and according to Suidas he was\n the author of a poem entitled _Cin\u00e6dica_ (Martial, 2. 86). The title\n would leave us in no doubt as to the trend of the work. (Cin\u00e6dus =\n he who indulges in unnatural lust; Cin\u00e6dicus = pertaining to one\n who is unchaste.--_Smith\u2019s Latin English Dictionary._) _C.f._ also\n Sir Richard Burton\u2019s \u201cSotadic Zone\u201d in the _Terminal Essay_ to _The\n Thousand Nights and a Night_ (_op. cit. sup._).\n\nIt was about the year 1660 that he had, according to all probability,\nthe first edition of the _Aloisia_ secretly printed in Lyons. The work\nwas supposed to have been written in Spanish, in the 16th century, by\nan erudite young girl, Luisa Sigea, whose father, Jacques Sig\u00e9e, a\nnative of France, had quitted his country to settle down at Toledo.\n(Luisa Sigea, who was born at Toledo about the year 1530 and died in\n1560, says the English translator in a note, knew Latin, Greek, Hebrew,\nSyriac and Arabic. She was styled the Minerva of her time.) The Spanish\nwork was lost; but there remained a Latin manuscript translation of it,\nwhich Chorier, in order to secure himself, attributed to the learned\nDutchman Joannes Meursius, dead twenty years before.... Chorier died in\n1692; he left several manuscript works behind him, some of which have\nsince been printed.\n\n\n\n\nTHE NIGHTINGALE.[94]\n\n [94] _The Decameron_ of Giovanni Boccaccio: Englished by John Payne:\n Villon Society, 1886. This is the fourth story of the fifth day, the\n actual title being: \u201c_Ricciardo Manardi, being found by Messer Lizio\n da Valbona with his daughter, espouseth her and abideth with her\n father in peace._\u201d\n\n\nThere lived in Romagna a gentleman of great worth and good breeding,\ncalled Messer Lizio da Valbona, to whom, well-nigh in his old age,\nit chanced there was born of his wife, Madame Giacomina by name, a\ndaughter, who grew up fair and agreeable beyond any other of the\ncountry; and for that she was the only child that remained to her\nfather and mother, they loved and tended her exceeding dear and guarded\nher with marvellous diligence, looking to make some great alliance by\nher.\n\nNow there was a young man of the Manardi of Brettinoro, comely and\nlusty of his person, by name Ricciardo, who much frequented Messer\nLizio\u2019s house and conversed amain with him and of whom the latter and\nhis lady took no more account than they would have taken of a son of\ntheirs. Now, this Ricciardo, looking once and again upon the young lady\nand seeing her very fair and sprightly and commendable of manners and\nfashions, fell desperately in love with her, but was very careful to\nkeep his love secret.\n\nThe damsel presently became aware thereof and without anywise seeking\nto shun the stroke, began on like wise to love him; whereat Ricciardo\nwas mightily rejoiced. He had many a time a mind to speak to her, but\nkept silence for misdoubtance; however, one day taking courage and\nopportunity, he said to her:\n\n\u201cI prithee, Caterina, cause me not to die of love.\u201d\n\nTo which she straightway made answer: \u201cWould God thou wouldst not cause\n_me_ die!\u201d\n\nThis answer added much courage and pleasure to Ricciardo and he said to\nher:\n\n\u201cNever shall aught that may be agreeable to thee miscarry for me; but\nit resteth with thee to find a means of saving thy life and mine.\u201d\n\n\u201cRicciardo,\u201d answered she, \u201cthou seest how straitly I am guarded;\nwherefore, for my part, I cannot see how thou mayst avail to come at\nme; but, if thou canst see aught that I may do without shame to myself,\ntell it me and I will do it.\u201d\n\nRicciardo, having bethought himself of sundry things, answered promptly:\n\n\u201cMy sweet Caterina, I can see no way, except that thou lie or make\nshift to come upon the gallery that adjoineth thy father\u2019s garden,\nwhere an I knew that thou wouldst be anights, I would without fail\ncontrive to come to thee, how high soever it may be.\u201d\n\n\u201cIf thou have the heart to come thither,\u201d rejoined Caterina,\n\u201cmethinketh I can well enough win to be there.\u201d\n\nRicciardo assented and they kissed each other once only in haste and\nwent their ways.\n\nNext day, it being then near the end of May, the girl began to\ncomplain before her mother that she had not been able to sleep that\nnight for the excessive heat Quoth the lady:\n\n\u201cOf what heat dost thou speak, daughter? Nay, it was nowise hot.\u201d\n\n\u201cMother mine,\u201d answered Caterina, \u201cyou should say \u2018to my seeming\u2019 and\nbelike you would say sooth; but you should consider how much hotter are\nyoung girls than ladies in years.\u201d\n\n\u201cDaughter mine,\u201d rejoined the lady, \u201cthat is true; but I cannot make it\ncold and hot at my pleasure, as belike thou wouldst have me do. We must\nput up with the weather, such as the seasons make it; maybe this next\nnight will be cooler and thou wilt sleep better.\u201d\n\n\u201cGod grant it may be so!\u201d cried Caterina. \u201cBut it is not usual for the\nnights to go cooling, as it groweth towards summer.\u201d\n\n\u201cThen what wouldst thou have done?\u201d asked the mother; and she answered:\n\n\u201cAn it please my father and you, I would fain have a little bed made in\nthe gallery, that is beside his chamber and over his garden, and there\nsleep. There I should hear the nightingale sing and having a cooler\nplace to lie in, I should fare much better than in your chamber.\u201d\n\nQuoth the mother: \u201cDaughter, comfort thyself; I will tell thy father,\nand as he will, so will we do.\u201d\n\nMesser Lizio, hearing all this from his wife, said; for that he was an\nold man and maybe therefore somewhat cross-grained:\n\n\u201cWhat nightingale is this to whose song she would sleep? I will yet\nmake her sleep to the chirp of the crickets.\u201d\n\nCaterina, coming to know this, more of despite than for the heat, not\nonly slept not that night, but suffered not her mother to sleep, still\ncomplaining of the great heat. Accordingly, next morning, the latter\nrepaired to her husband and said to him:\n\n\u201cSir, you have little tenderness for yonder girl; what mattereth it\nto you if she lie in the gallery? She could get no rest all night for\nthe heat. Besides, can you wonder at her having a mind to hear the\nnightingale sing, seeing she is but a child? Young folk are curious of\nthings like themselves.\u201d\n\nMesser Lizio, hearing this, said:\n\n\u201cGo to, make her a bed there, such as you think fit, and bind it\nabout with some curtain or other, and there let her lie and hear the\nnightingale sing to her heart\u2019s content.\u201d\n\nThe girl, learning this, straightway let make a bed in the gallery and\nmeaning to lie there that same night, watched till she saw Ricciardo\nand made him a signal appointed between them, by which he understood\nwhat was to be done.\n\nMesser Lizio, hearing the girl gone to bed, locked a door that led from\nhis chamber into the gallery, and betook himself likewise to sleep.\n\nAs for Ricciardo, as soon as he heard quiet on every hand, he mounted\na wall, with the aid of a ladder, and thence, laying hold of certain\ntoothings of another wall, he made his way, with great toil and danger,\nif he had fallen, up to the gallery, where he was quietly received by\nthe girl with the utmost joy. Then, after many kisses, they went to bed\ntogether and took delight and pleasure one of another well nigh all\nthat night, making the nightingale sing many a time.\n\nThe nights being short and the delight great and it being now, though\nthey thought it not, near day, they fell asleep without any covering,\nso overheated were they what with the weather and what with their\nsport, Caterina having her right arm entwined about Ricciardo\u2019s neck\nand holding him with the left hand by that thing which you ladies think\nmost shame to name among men.\n\nAs they slept on this wise, without awaking, the day came on and Messer\nLizio arose and remembering him that his daughter lay in the gallery,\nopened the door softly, saying in himself:\n\n\u201cLet us see how the nightingale hath made Caterina sleep this night.\u201d\n\nThen, going in, he softly lifted up the serge wherewith the bed was\ncurtained about, and saw his daughter and Ricciardo lying asleep, naked\nand uncovered, embraced as it hath before been set out; whereupon,\nhaving recognised Ricciardo, he went out again and repairing to his\nwife\u2019s chamber, called to her, saying:\n\n\u201cQuick, wife, get thee up and come see, for that thy daughter hath been\nso curious of the nightingale that she hath e\u2019en taken it and hath it\nin hand.\u201d\n\n\u201cHow can that be?\u201d quoth she; and he answered:\n\n\u201cThou shalt see it, an thou come quickly.\u201d\n\nAccordingly, she made haste to dress herself and quietly followed her\nhusband to the bed where, the curtain being drawn, Madam Giacomina\nmight plainly see how her daughter had taken and held the nightingale,\nwhich she had so longed to hear sing; whereat the lady, holding herself\nsore deceived of Ricciardo, would have cried out and railed at him;\nbut Messer Lizio said to her:\n\n\u201cWife, as thou holdest my love dear, look thou say not a word, for,\nverily, since she hath gotten it, it shall be hers. Ricciardo is\nyoung and rich and gently born; he cannot make us other than a good\nson-in-law. An he would part from thee on good terms, needs must he\nfirst marry her, so it will be found that he hath put the nightingale\nin his own cage and not in that of another.\u201d\n\nThe lady was comforted to see that her husband was not angered at the\nmatter and considering that her daughter had passed a good night and\nrested well and had caught the nightingale, to boot, she held her\ntongue. Nor had they abidden long after these words when Ricciardo\nawoke and seeing that it was broad day, gave himself over for lost and\ncalled Caterina, saying:\n\n\u201cAlack, my soul, how shall we do, for the day is come and hath caught\nme here?\u201d\n\nWhereupon Messer Lizio came forward and lifting the curtain, answered:\n\n\u201cWe shall do well.\u201d\n\nWhen Ricciardo saw him, himseemed the heart was torn out of his body\nand sitting up in bed, he said:\n\n\u201cMy lord, I crave your pardon for God\u2019s sake. I acknowledge to have\ndeserved death, as a disloyal and wicked man; wherefore do you with me\nas best pleaseth you; but, I prithee, an it may be, have mercy on my\nlife and let me not die.\u201d\n\n\u201cRicciardo,\u201d answered Messer Lizio, \u201cthe love that I bore thee and the\nfaith I had in thee merited not this return; yet, since thus it is\nand youth hath carried thee away into such a fault, do thou, to save\nthyself from death and me from shame, take Caterina to thy lawful wife,\nso that, like as this night she hath been thine, she may e\u2019en be thine\nso long as she shall live. On this wise thou mayst gain my pardon and\nthine own safety; but, an thou choose not to do this, commend thy soul\nto God.\u201d\n\nWhilst these words were saying, Caterina let go the nightingale and\ncovering herself, fell to weeping sore and beseeching her father to\npardon Ricciardo, whilst on the other hand she entreated her lover\nto do as Messer Lizio wished, so they might long pass such nights in\nsecurity.\n\nBut there needed not overmany prayers, for that, on the one hand, shame\nof the fault committed and desire to make amends for it, and on the\nother, the fear of death and the wish to escape,--to say nothing of his\nardent love and longing to possess the thing beloved,--made Ricciardo\nfreely and without hesitation avouch himself ready to do that which\npleased Messer Lizio; whereupon the latter borrowed of Giacomina one of\nher rings and there, without budging, Ricciardo in their presence took\nCaterina to his wife. This done, Messer Lizio and his lady departed,\nsaying:\n\n\u201cNow rest yourselves, for belike you have more need thereof than of\nrising.\u201d\n\nThey being gone, the young folk clipped each other anew and not having\nrun more than half a dozen courses overnight, they ran other twain ere\nthey arose and so made an end of the first day\u2019s tilting.\n\nThen they arose and Ricciardo having had more orderly conference with\nLizio a few days after, as it beseemed, he married the damsel over\nagain, in the presence of their friends and kinsfolk, and brought her\nwith great pomp to his own house. There he held goodly and honourable\nnuptials and after went long nightingale-fowling with her to his\nheart\u2019s content, in peace and solace, both by night and by day.\n\n\n\n\nTHE PIKE\u2019S HEAD.[95]\n\n [95] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883: vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_.\n\n\nOnce there lived a peasant and his wife who had a daughter, a young\nvirgin. The girl went forth to harrow the garden; she harrowed and she\nharrowed; anon they called her to the house to eat pancakes. She ran\nand left the horse with the harrow, saying unto the beast:\n\n\u201cWait there until I return.\u201d\n\nThere was in the house of a neighbour a son, a foolish lad. For long\nhe had desired to futter the maid; but by what means he could not\nconceive. Observing the horse with the harrow, he slipped through the\nhedge, unharnessed the horse, and led it into his garden. Leaving\nthe harrow in its place, he passed the beam through the hedge, and\nharnessed the horse afresh from his side.\n\nThe young girl returned and stood astonished. What meant this? The\nharrow on one side of the hedge, the horse on the other? She fell to\nbeating the horse with her whip, saying:\n\n\u201cDevil! How camest thou there? Thou didst know how to get there. Thou\nwilt know how to return. Come! Come! Out of it!\u201d\n\nThe lad stood near; he looked and laughed.\n\n\u201cI will aid thee an thou wilt,\u201d said he, \u201cbut only if thou dost permit\nme....\u201d\n\nThe maid was cunning.\n\n\u201cWillingly,\u201d said she.\n\nAnd she armed herself with the head of an old pike, which lay about the\ngarden, its jaws open. Picking it up, she thrust it in her sleeve and\nsaid to the lad:\n\n\u201cI do not wish to come to thy side of the hedge, nor do I wish thee to\ncome to mine, lest any see thee. Do it through the hedge. Pass me thy\nyard and I will put it in.\u201d\n\nThe youth drew out his yard and passed it through the hedge. The girl\ntook the pike\u2019s head, opened it, and put it \u2018twixt her thighs. When the\nyouth rubbed, he scratched his yard so that it bled. Taking it in his\nhands, he ran to the house, sat down in a corner, and was very silent.\n\n\u201cAh! woe is me!\u201d thought he to himself. \u201cHow her coynte biteth! If only\nmy yard will heal, for the rest of my life I will never address another\ngirl!\u201d\n\nCame the time for the youth to settle down; he was affianced to the\ndaughter of the neighbour, and they were wedded. They dwelt together\nfor a day, then two, then three; they dwelt together for a week, then a\nsecond, then a third; but the youth feared to touch his wife.\n\nConstrained one day to go to the house of the young man\u2019s\nmother-in-law, they set out on their way. On the road the wife said to\nher husband:\n\n\u201cListen, now, my dear little Danilka. Why hast thou married since thou\ndost naught with me? If thou canst do naught, why spoilest the life of\nanother in this useless fashion?\u201d\n\nAnd Danilka replied:\n\n\u201cNay, thou wilt not trap me again. It biteth, thy coynte. My yard hath\nlong been ill. \u2018Tis scarce cured yet.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou ravest!\u201d answered she. \u201cAt that time I did but play with thee.\nHave no fear now. Make trial of this dear little thing[96] of mine.\nThou wilt be enchanted with it.\u201d\n\n [96] The text says: _ce cher petit_, which may be interpreted as\n referring to the wife\u2019s _pudendum_. _C.f._ _Le petit je ne sais\n quoi_ (\u201dMy~little~what\u2019s~its~name.\u201d), a common erotic term for\n the parts concerned. (Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_; Landes:\n _Glossaire \u00c9rotique_; and _Le petit Citateur: Notes \u00c9rotiques et\n Pornographiques_.) The last authority considers that the word _trou_\n (hole) would be understood in the text. _Trou_, of course, is a\n common French erotic term for the feminine _pudendum_. On the other\n hand, the word _jeu_ (game) may be understood, which would be equally\n applicable. _C.f._ Farmer (_Slang_, etc., vol. 3, p. 110): \u201cThe first\n game ever played,\u201d _i.e._, copulation. Also Landes (_Gloss. \u00c9rot._):\n \u201cGame: employed in an obscene sense to denote the sexual act.\u201d\n\nAnd desire took the youth, and he tucked up his robe, saying:\n\n\u201cWait--I am about to bind thy legs, and if thy coynte biteth, I shall\nbe able to leap to earth and save myself.\u201d\n\nHe let go of the reins and bound the two naked thighs of his young\nwife. His instrument was now of sufficient magnitude. When he rammed\nthe girl, she cried with a loud voice; the horse, which was young, took\nfright and began to run away; the sleigh was thrown from side to side;\nthe peasant fell out; and his young wife, her thighs naked, was dragged\ninto the courtyard of the mother-in-law.\n\nThe mother-in-law gazed through the window; she perceived the horse of\nher son-in-law, and was assured that he brought her some viands for\nthe feast; she went to meet him and found--her daughter!\n\n\u201cAh! little mother!\u201d cried the latter. \u201cUnbind me swiftly ere any see\nme.\u201d\n\nThe old woman unbound her and asked what it signified.\n\n\u201cAnd thy husband, where is he?\u201d she demanded.\n\n\u201cThe horse threw him into the road.\u201d\n\nThese two entered the house and gazed through the window. Danilka\narrived, approached some small boys who were playing at knuckle-bones,\nstopped, and looked about him. The mother-in-law dispatched her eldest\ndaughter to him. She drew near, saying:\n\n\u201cGood day, Danilka Ivanitch.\u201d\n\n\u201cGood-day.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome into the house. The feast lacketh but thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cIs my wife within?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd hath the blood ceased to flow?\u201d\n\nBut the young girl spat and ran away from him.\n\nThen the mother-in-law dispatched her daughter-in-law, who would\nappease him.\n\n\u201cCome, come, little Danilka. The blood hath ceased to flow this long\ntime.\u201d\n\nShe led him within the house, and the mother-in-law came to meet him,\nsaying:\n\n\u201cWelcome, my dear little son-in-law.\u201d\n\n\u201cVarvara--is she within?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd hath the blood ceased to flow?\u201d\n\n\u201cIt hath ceased this long time.\u201d\n\nThen he drew forth his yard and showed it to his mother-in-law, saying:\n\n\u201cSee, little mother, this awl[97] was entirely inside her body.\u201d\n\n [97] _Al\u00e8ne_ is the word in the text. Not an erotic term for _penis_\n in French and English slang, though we have the verb \u201cto bore.\u201d _C.f._\n Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_, for his amazing list of synonyms\n denoting the sexual act under the heading \u201cRide.\u201d Blondeau, in his\n _Dictionnaire \u00c9rotique_ (Isidore Liseux: Paris, 1885), gives no word\n in his collection of Latin terms for _penis_ which approximates\n exactly to the sense of awl. Landes, Delvau (_Dictionnaire \u00c9rotique_),\n and _Le petit Citateur_ (_op. cit. supra_) make no mention of the\n word. In our story Danilka, in his very primitive fashion, has used\n an expression which explains in the simplest way his actions in the\n sleigh.\n\n\u201cCome, come,\u201d said the mother-in-law. \u201cSit thyself down. \u2018Tis time to\neat.\u201d\n\nThey sat down, drank, and ate.\n\n\n\n\nTHE LOVELY NUN AND HER YOUNG BOARDER.[98]\n\n [98] _Memoirs of Jacques Casanova_: Privately Printed, 1894. Also\n _M\u00e9moires de J. Casanova de Seingalt_: Garnier Fr\u00e8res: Paris, n.d. Our\n text is a blend of the two versions.\n\n_Casanova again meets the beautiful nun M--M--, with whom he was on\nintimate terms some years previously at Venice. The nun is now in a\nconvent at Chamberi, where Casanova visits her and her young boarder,\na lovely girl aged twelve or thirteen, who readily succumbs to the\nadventurer\u2019s amorous advances. The text continues_:--\n\n\nI went to the convent, and M--M--came down alone to the grating. She\nthanked me for coming to see her, adding that I had come to disturb her\npeace of mind.\n\n\u201cI am all ready, my heart, to climb the garden wall,\u201d I answered, \u201cand\nI shall do it more dextrously than thy wretched humpback.\u201d\n\n\u201cAlas! \u2018tis not possible, for, believe me, thou art already spied\nupon.... Let us forget all, my dear friend, that we may be spared the\ntorment of vain desires.\u201d\n\n\u201cGive me thy hand.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay. All is over. I love thee still; probably I shall love thee\nalways; but I long for thee to go, and by so doing, thou wilt give me\nproof of thy love.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis is dreadful; thou amazest me. Thou dost seem in perfect health;\nthou art grown even more beautiful; art made for the worship of the\nsweetest of gods; \u2018tis beyond my powers of comprehension how, with a\ntemperament like thine, thou canst live in continual abstinence.\u201d\n\n\u201cAlas! lacking the reality we console ourselves with make-belief.[99]\nI will not conceal from thee that I love my young boarder. \u2018Tis an\ninnocent passion, and keepeth my mind calm. Her caresses quench the\nflame which would otherwise kill me.\u201d[100]\n\n [99] _Badinage_ in the French text; _i.e._, _playfulness_, _frolic_,\n _sport_, etc., which is hardly in keeping with the context.\n\n [100] Literally, according to French text: \u201cHer caresses quench a fire\n which would kill me did I not weaken its force by this make-belief.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd doth not thy conscience suffer?\u201d\n\n\u201cI feel no distress in the matter.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut thou dost know \u2018tis a sin?\u201d\n\n\u201cI confess it.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd what sayeth the confessor?\u201d\n\n\u201cNaught. He absolveth me, and I am happy.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd doth thy pretty boarder confess also?\u201d\n\n\u201cAssuredly; but she telleth not the father of a matter which she doth\nnot believe a sin.\u201d\n\n\u201cI wonder that the confessor hath not taught her, for that species of\ninstruction is a great pleasure.\u201d\n\n\u201cOur confessor is a wise old man.\u201d\n\n\u201cI shall leave thee, then, without a single kiss?\u201d\n\n\u201cNot one.\u201d\n\n\u201cMay I return on the morrow? I go hence on the following day.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome; but I shall not descend alone,[101] for others might have\nsuspicions. I will bring my little one with me, to save appearances.\nCome after dining, but to the other parlour.\u201d\n\n [101] _i.e._, to the grating.\n\nHad I not known M--M--at Aix, her religious ideas would have astonished\nme; but such was her character. She loved God, and did not believe that\nthe kind Father who made us with passions would be too severe because\nwe had not the strength to subdue them. I returned to the inn, annoyed\nthat the lovely nun would have no more to do with me....\n\n_After the interval of a night, Casanova returns to the convent, and,\nannouncing his presence, enters the parlour which M--M--has indicated.\nThe text continues_:--\n\n... She soon descended with her pretty young boarder, who ... had\nnot yet completed her twelfth year, but was very tall, strong and\nwell-developed for her age. Gentleness, liveliness, candour, and wit\nwere united in her features, and gave her an expression of exquisite\ncharm. She wore a well-made corset which disclosed a white throat, to\nwhich fancy easily added the two spheres which would soon appear there.\nHer shapely head, whence hung two superb raven tresses, and her ivory\nthroat indicated what might be concealed, and my vagrant imagination\nformed her into a budding Venus.\n\nI began by telling her that she was very pretty, and that she would\nmake happy the husband for whom God had destined her. This compliment,\nI felt assured, would cause her to blush. \u2018Tis cruel, but thus it is\nthat the language of seduction ever beginneth. A girl of her years who\ndoth not blush at the mention of marriage is either a fool or already\nexpert in profligacy. Despite this, however, the blush which mounteth\nto a young girl\u2019s cheek at the onset of a startling idea is indeed a\nproblem. Whence doth it come? Perchance from pure simplicity; perchance\nfrom shame; often from a mixture of both feelings. Cometh, then, the\ncombat \u2018twixt vice and virtue, and usually \u2018tis virtue which hath to\nsuccumb. The desires--true servants of vice--easily attain their ends.\nAs I knew the young boarder from M--M--\u2019s description, I could not\nbe unaware of the source of those blushes which did but enhance her\nyouthful charms.\n\nPretending not to notice aught, I conversed for a while with M--M--,\nthen returned to the assault. She had regained her calm.\n\n\u201cWhat is thine age, pretty one?\u201d said I.\n\n\u201cI am thirteen.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou art wrong, my heart,\u201d said her friend. \u201cThou hast not yet\ncompleted thy twelfth year.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe time will come,\u201d quoth I, \u201cwhen thou wilt diminish the tale of thy\nyears instead of increasing it.\u201d\n\n\u201cI shall never tell a lie, sir; of that I am sure.\u201d\n\n\u201cSo thou wouldst become a nun, my fair friend?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have not yet that vocation; but naught shall force me to lie, even\nthough I should live in the world.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou art wrong, for thou wilt begin to lie from the moment thou hast a\nlover.\u201d\n\n\u201cWill my lover also tell lies?\u201d\n\n\u201cAssuredly he will.\u201d\n\n\u201cWere the matter truly so, I should entertain a bad opinion of love;\nbut I do not believe it, for I love my dear friend here, and I never\nconceal the truth from her.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut thou dost not love a man as thou lovest a woman.\u201d\n\n\u201cIndeed one doth.\u201d\n\n\u201cNot so, for thou dost not go to bed with a woman, but thou wilt with\nthy husband.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo matter--my love would be the same.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat? Thou wouldst not rather sleep with me than with M--M--?\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, in sooth, for thou art a man and would see me.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou dost not desire a man to see thee, then?\u201d\n\n\u201cNay.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou knowest that thou art ugly, then?\u201d\n\nAt this she turned to her friend with a highly vexed air.\n\n\u201cAm I truly ugly?\u201d she asked.\n\n\u201cNay, my heart,\u201d said M--M--, bursting with laughter; \u201c\u2018tis quite the\nother way. Thou art very pretty.\u201d With these words, she took her on her\nknee and embraced her tenderly.\n\n\u201cThy corset is too tight, mademoiselle; \u2018tis not possible to have so\nsmall a waist as thine.\u201d\n\n\u201cMonsieur is mistaken. Thou canst put thy hand there and see for\nthyself.\u201d\n\n\u201cI do not believe it.\u201d\n\nM--M--then held her close to the grille and bade me assure myself on\nthe point. At the same moment she turned up her dress.\n\n\u201cThou wast right,\u201d said I, \u201cand I owe thee an apology.\u201d But in my heart\nI cursed the chemise and the grille.\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis my opinion,\u201d quoth I to M--M--, \u201cthat here we have a little lad.\u201d\n\nWithout awaiting a reply, I laboured so well that I satisfied myself,\nby touch, as to her sex, and I could see that the little one and her\ngoverness were pleased that my mind was at rest on the subject.\n\nWhen I had withdrawn my hand, the little one gave a kiss to M--M--,\nwhose smiling air reassured her, and begged leave to absent herself\nfor a moment. It seems I had reduced her to a state in which a brief\nspace of solitude was necessary, and I myself was in a highly excited\ncondition.\n\nWhen she had gone, I said to M--M--:--\n\n\u201cDost realise that what thou hast shown me hath made me unhappy?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd why?\u201d\n\n\u201cBecause thy boarder is charming and I am dying to possess her.\u201d\n\n\u201cI grieve for that, since thou canst not go further; moreover, I know\nthee, my friend, and e\u2019en though thou couldst satisfy thy passion\nwithout danger to her, I would not yield her to thee; thou wouldst\nspoil her.\u201d\n\n\u201cHow?\u201d\n\n\u201cDost think that after enjoying thee she would care to enjoy me? I\nshould lose too heavily by comparison.\u201d\n\n\u201cGive me thy hand.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay.\u201d\n\n\u201cStay--one moment.\u201d\n\n\u201cI do not wish to see aught.\u201d\n\n\u201cNot even a little?\u201d\n\n\u201cNaught at all.\u201d\n\n\u201cArt angered with me, then?\u201d\n\n\u201cFar from it. If thou hast been pleased, I am glad; and if thou hast\nfilled her with desires, she will love me all the more.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat happiness, my angel, could we, all three, be alone together and\nat liberty!\u201d\n\n\u201cI feel it, but \u2018tis impossible.\u201d\n\n\u201cArt sure that we are sheltered from all curious eyes?\u201d\n\n\u201cI am certain.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe height of that wretched grille hath deprived me of the sight of\nmany charms.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy didst not go to the other parlour? \u2018Tis much lower there.\u201d\n\n\u201cLet us go there.\u201d\n\n\u201cNot to-day. I could give no reason for the change.\u201d\n\n\u201cI will return to-morrow, and in the evening I start for Lyons.\u201d\n\nThe little boarder came back, and I stood up facing her. I had a number\nof beautiful seals and trinkets hanging from my watch-chain, and I had\nnot had time to put myself in a state of perfect decency again. This\nshe noticed, and my seals serving as a pretext for her curiosity, she\nasked if she might look at them.\n\n\u201cAs long as you like, my jewel; look at them and touch them as well.\u201d\n\nM--M--, foreseeing what would happen, left the room, saying that she\nwould return anon. I hastened to deprive the curious-minded young\nboarder of all interest in my seals by placing in her hands a curiosity\nof another kind. She did not conceal her transports nor the pleasure\nshe felt in satisfying her inquisitiveness about an object which was\nquite new to her, and which she was able to examine minutely for the\nfirst time in her life. But soon an effusion of the natural moisture\nchanged her curiosity into surprise, and I did not interrupt her in her\ndelighted contemplation of it.\n\nPerceiving M--M--returning slowly, I lowered my shirt and sat down.\nMy watch and chains were still on the ledge of the grating, and\nM--M--asked her young friend if the trinkets had pleased her.\n\n\u201cYea,\u201d replied the little one, in a dreamy and melancholy voice. She\nhad travelled so far in less than two hours that she had plenty to\nthink on.\n\nI passed the rest of the day in relating to M--M--the adventures I had\nencountered since I quitted her; but as I had not time to finish my\ntale, I promised to return on the following day at the same hour.\n\nThe young girl, who had been listening to me all the while, although I\nseemed to be addressing only her friend, said she was dying to know the\nend of my adventure with the mistress of the Duke of Matelone.[102] ...\n\n [102] Referring to a salacious incident shortly before related.\n Further details would be out of place in this volume.\n\n... On the following day, after dining, I returned to the convent, and\nhaving sent up my name to M--M--, I entered the room where the grating\nwas more convenient. Before long M--M--arrived alone, but divining my\ndesires, she added that her pretty young friend would soon join us.\n\n\u201cThou hast fired her imagination,\u201d she said. \u201cShe hath told me all\nabout it, playing a thousand wanton tricks and calling me her dear\nhusband. Thou hast seduced her, and I am very glad thou art going, for\nI believe she might lose her reason. Thou wilt see how she hath attired\nherself.\u201d\n\n\u201cArt sure of her discretion?\u201d\n\n\u201cPerfectly, but I beg of thee to do naught in my presence. When I see\nthe moment approaching, I will leave the room.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou art an angel, beloved, but thou mightest be something better an\nthou wouldst----\u201d\n\n\u201cI want naught for myself, because that may not be.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou couldst----\u201d\n\n\u201cNay--I will have naught to do with a pastime which would re-kindle\nfires hardly yet quenched. I have spoken. I suffer; but let us say no\nmore on the matter.\u201d\n\nAt this moment the young adept entered smiling, her eyes full of fire.\nShe was attired in a short pelisse, open in front, and an embroidered\nmuslin skirt which did not go beyond her knees. She looked like a sylph.\n\nWe were scarcely seated ere she reminded me of the place where my tale\nhad stopped. I continued my recital, and when I was relating how Donna\nLucrezia showed me Leonilda naked, M--M--went out, and the sly little\npuss asked me how I assured myself that my daughter was a virgin.\n\nTaking hold of her through the wretched grating, against which she\nplaced her pretty body, I showed her how I assured myself of the fact,\nand the little one found such pleasure in the game that, so far from\nfeeling any suffering, she twice swooned away in ecstacy, all the while\npressing my hand to the spot. Then she gave me her hand that she might\nafford me the pleasure I had given her, and when M--M--appeared during\nthis enjoyable occupation, she said hastily:--\n\n\u201cIt doth not matter. I have told her everything. My friend is kind, and\nshe will not be vexed.\u201d\n\nM--M--, in sooth, affected to see naught of all this, and the\nprecocious young girl wiped her hand in a kind of voluptuous delight,\nwhich showed how well she was pleased.\n\nI proceeded with my history, but when I came to the episode of the poor\ngirl who was _tied_,[103] describing all the trouble I had vainly taken\nwith her, the little boarder grew so curious that she placed herself in\nthe most seducing attitude so that I might be able to show her what I\ndid. Seeing this, M--M--made her escape.\n\n [103] Somewhat obscure. This rendering, that of the English\n translation, is not in accord with the French text, nor does it\n seem to us to represent what happened as described in the English\n translation.\n\n\u201cKneel down on the ledge,\u201d said the little wanton, \u201cand let me do it.\u201d\n\nThe reader can guess her intention, and she would have succeeded in her\npurpose had not the fire which consumed me distilled itself away at the\norifice.\n\nThe charming novice felt herself besprinkled, but after ascertaining\nthat naught more could be done, she withdrew in some vexation. My\nfingers, however, consoled her for the disappointment, and I had the\npleasure of seeing her look happy once more.\n\nI quitted these charming creatures in the evening, promising to visit\nthem again in a year, but as I walked home I could not but reflect how\noften these asylums, supposed to be devoted to chastity and prayer,\ndo contain in themselves the hidden germs of corruption. How many\na timorous and trustful mother is persuaded that the child of her\naffection will escape the dangers of the world by taking refuge in the\ncloister. But behind these bolts and bars desires grow to a frenzied\nextreme; they crave in vain to be satisfied....\n\n\n\n\n_JOHN and JOAN._[104]\n\n [104] J. S. Farmer: _Merry Songs and Ballads_: _Privately Printed_,\n 1897: vol. 3: from _Pills to Purge Melancholy_ (1719). A similar\n ballad, _John and Jone_, from _Merry Drollerie_ (1661) is given by\n Farmer in the second volume of his work.\n\n\n    There was a Maid the other Day,\n    Which in her Master\u2019s Chamber lay;\n    As Maidens they must not refuse,\n    In Yeomens Houses thus they use\n    In a Truckle-bed to lye,\n    Or another standing by:\n    Her Master and her Dame,\n    Said she shou\u2019d do the same.\n\n    This Maid cou\u2019d neither rest nor Sleep,\n        When that she heard the Bed to crack;\n    Her Master Captive busie was,\n        Her Dame cry\u2019d out, you hurt my Back:\n    Oh Husband you do me wrong,\n    You\u2019ve lain so hard my Breast upon;\n    You are such another Man,\n    You\u2019d have me do more than I can:\n    Tush Master, then says _Joan_,\n    Pray let my Dame alone;\n    What a devilish Squalling you keep,\n    That I can neither rest nor Sleep.\n\n    This was enough to make a Maiden sick\n        And full of Pain;\n    She begins to Fling and Kick,\n        And swore she\u2019d rent her Smock in twain:\n    But you shall hear anon,\n    There was a Man his name was _John_,\n    To whom this Maid she went alone,\n    And in this manner made her moan;\n    I prithee _John_ tell me no Lie,\n    What ails my Dame to Squeak and Cry?\n    I prithee _John_ tell me the same,\n    What is\u2019t my Master gives my Dame?\n\n    It is a Steel, quoth _John_,\n        My Master gives my Dame at Night:\n    Altho\u2019 some fault she find,\n        I\u2019m sure it is her Heart\u2019s Delight:\n    And you _Joan_ for your part,\n    You love one withal your Heart:\n    Yes, marry then quoth _John_,\n    Therefore to you I make my moan;\n    If that I may be so bold,\n    Where are these things to be sold?\n    At _London_ then said _John_,\n    Next Market day I\u2019ll bring thee one.\n\n    What will a good one cost,\n        If I shou\u2019d chance to stand in need?\n    Twenty Shillings, says _John_,\n        And for Twenty Shillings you may speed:\n    Then _Joan_ she ran unto her Chest,\n    And fetch\u2019d him Twenty Shillings just;\n    _John_, said she, here is your Coin,\n    And I pray you have me in your Mind:\n    And out of my Love therefore,\n    There is for you two Shillings more;\n    And I pray thee honest _John Long_,\n    Buy me one that\u2019s Stiff and Strong.\n\n    To Market then he went,\n        When he had the Money in his Purse;\n    He domineer\u2019d and vapour\u2019d,\n        He was as stout as any Horse:\n    Some he spent in Ale and Beer,\n    And some he spent upon good Cheer;\n    The rest he brought home again,\n    To serve his turn another time:\n    Welcome home honest _John_,\n    God a mercy gentle _Joan_;\n    Prithee _John_ let me feel,\n    Hast thou brought me home a Steel?\n\n    Yes, marry then quoth _John_,\n    And then he took her by the Hand;\n    He led her into a Room,\n    Where they cou\u2019d see neither Sun nor Moon:\n    Together _John_ the Door did clap,\n    He laid the Steel into her Lap:\n    With that _Joan_ began to feel,\n    Cuts Foot, quoth she, \u2018tis a dainty Steel:\n    I prithee tell me, and do not lye,\n    What are the two Things hang thereby?\n    They be the two odd Shillings, quoth _John_,\n    That you put last into my Hand:\n    If I had known so much before,\n    I wou\u2019d have giv\u2019n thee two Shillings more.[105]\n\n [105] _John and Joan_, strictly speaking, is a _variant_ of three\n stories quoted earlier on in this volume, (The Instrument, The\n Timorous Fianc\u00e9e and The Enchanted Ring), inasmuch as all contain the\n same idea--the possibility of purchasing a _membrum virile_. At the\n same time, our ballad has a totally different setting, the maid in\n this case obtaining her first knowledge from the actions of others.\n\n\n\n\nTHE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR.[106]\n\n [106] _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_: Translated for the first time\n into English by Robert B. Douglas (_One Hundred Merrie and Delightsome\n Stories_), Paris: Charles Carrington. Also French Text, Paris: Gamier\n Fr\u00e8res, n.d.\n\n_Of a young squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never mounted\na Christian creature--much to his wife\u2019s regret. And of the method her\nmother found to instruct him, and how the said squire suddenly wept at\na great feast that was made shortly after he had learned how to perform\nthe carnal act--as you will hear more plainly hereafter._\n\n\n\u2018Tis well known that in the province of Champagne one is sure to\nencounter heavy and dull-witted persons--which hath seemed strange\nto many, seeing that the district is so near to the country of\nMischief.[107] Many stories could be told of the stupidity of the\nChampenois, but this present will suffice.\n\n [107] Probably Picardy or Lorraine.--Note by R. B. Douglas.\n\nThere dwelt in this province a young man, an orphan, who at the death\nof his father and mother had become rich and powerful. He was stupid,\nignorant, and disagreeable, but hard-working, and knew well how\nto take care of himself and his affairs, and for this reason many\npersons--even people of condition--were willing to give him their\ndaughter in marriage.\n\nOne of these damsels, above all others, pleased the friends and\nrelations of our Champenois because of her beauty, goodness, riches and\nso forth. They told him \u2018twas time he married.\n\n\u201cThou art now three-and-twenty years of age,\u201d said they, \u201cand there\ncould not be a better time. An thou wilt listen to us, we have sought\nout for thee a fair and good damsel who seemeth to us well fitted to\nthee. It is such an one--thou knowest her full well.\u201d And they told him\nher name.\n\nThe young man, who cared little whether he was married or not, so as\nhe did not lose money by it, answered that he would do whatsoe\u2019er they\nwished.\n\n\u201cSince ye think \u2018twill be to my advantage,\u201d said he, \u201cmanage the\nbusiness to the best of your ability, for I would follow your advice\nand instructions.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou sayest well,\u201d said these good folk. \u201cWe will look and consider as\ncarefully as though the matter concerned us or one of our children.\u201d\n\nTo cut matters short, a little while afterwards our Champenois was\nmarried; but on the first night, when he was sleeping with his wife,\nhe, never having mounted on any Christian beast, soon turned his back\nto her, and a few poor kisses was aught she had of him, but naught on\nher back. At which one may guess his wife was not well pleased, albeit\nshe concealed her discontent.\n\nThis unsatisfactory State of affairs endured some ten days, and would\nhave endured yet longer had not the girl\u2019s mother put a stop to it.\n\nIt should be known that the young man was unversed in the mysteries of\nwedlock, for during the lifetime of his parents a tight rein had been\nkept upon him, and, above all things, he had been forbidden to play at\nthe beast with two backs,[108] lest he should take too much delight\ntherein, and waste all his patrimony. Which was prudent on the part\nof his parents, for he was not a young man likely to be loved for his\nappearance.\n\n [108] _Faire la b\u00eate \u00e0 deux dos._ A recognised slang term for the\n venereal act, used by Rabelais and Shakespeare. _C.f._ Farmer: _Slang\n and its Analogues_ (_op. cit. supra_), and Landes: _Glossaire \u00e9rotique\n de la langue fran\u00e7aise_: Brussels, 1861.\n\nAnd since he would do naught to anger his father and mother, and was\nnot, moreover, of an amorous disposition, he had ever preserved his\nchastity, albeit his wife had deprived him of it right gladly had she\nknown but how.\n\nOn a certain day the mother of the bride came to her daughter, and\nquestioned her as to her husband\u2019s state and condition and the\ncountless other things which women like to know. To all of which\nquestions the bride replied that her husband was a good man, and that\nshe did not doubt but that she would be happy with him.\n\nWhich answer made the old woman joyous, but, since she knew by her\nown experience that there are more things in wedlock than eating and\ndrinking, she said to her daughter:\n\n\u201cCome hither, and tell me, on thy word of honour, how he doth acquit\nhimself at night?\u201d\n\nWhen the girl heard this question she was so vexed and shamed that she\nmight not answer, and her eyes were filled with tears. But her mother,\nunderstanding what meant these tears, said:\n\n\u201cWeep not, my child. Speak me boldly. I am thy mother, and it behoveth\nthee to conceal naught from me. Hath he done naught to thee as yet?\u201d\n\nThe poor girl, having partly recovered, and being reassured by her\nmother\u2019s words, ceased her tears, but could not yet make reply.\nWhereupon her mother asked again:\n\n\u201cSpeak me boldly and put aside thy grief. Hath he done naught to thee\nyet?\u201d\n\nIn a low voice, mingled with tears, the girl replied:\n\n\u201cOn my word, mother, he hath never touched me yet, but, save for that,\nthere is no man more kind or affectionate.\u201d\n\n\u201cTell me,\u201d quoth the mother, \u201cknowest thou if he be properly furnished\nwith all his members? Speak boldly if thou dost know.\u201d\n\n\u201cBy St. John! He is sound in that respect,\u201d replied the bride. \u201cI have\noften, by chance, felt his luggage[109] as I turned to and fro on our\nbed when I could not sleep.\u201d\n\n [109] _Denr\u00e9e d\u2019aventure._ A recognised erotic term for the male\n genital parts. _C.f._ Farmer and Landes (_op. cit. supra_). _Denr\u00e9e_,\n properly, means a \u201ccommodity,\u201d which is not far removed from the\n English slang term \u201cconcern.\u201d (Farmer.)\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis enough,\u201d said the mother. \u201cLeave the rest to me. This is what\nthou must do. In the morning thou must feign grave illness--e\u2019en as\nthough thy soul were about to depart thy body. Thy husband will, I\nexpect full well, seek me out and bid me come to thee, and I will play\nmy part so that thy business will soon be settled, for I shall carry\nthy water to a certain doctor, who will give such counsel as I order.\u201d\n\nAll was accomplished as arranged, for on the morrow, as soon as it was\ndawn, the girl, who was sleeping with her husband, fell to complaining\nand feigning sickness as though a strong fever racked her body.\n\nHer foolish husband was much vexed and astonished, and knew not what to\nsay or do. He sent forthwith for his mother-in-law, who was not long in\ncoming. As soon as he saw her he said:\n\n\u201cAlas! mother! thy daughter is dying!\u201d\n\n\u201cMy daughter?\u201d quoth she. \u201cWhat doth she want?\u201d And while she spoke,\nshe walked to the patient\u2019s chamber.\n\nAs soon as the mother perceived her daughter, she inquired of her as to\nher trouble, and the girl, being well instructed in what she must do,\nanswered not at first, but, after a while, said:\n\n\u201cMother, I am dying.\u201d\n\n\u201cPlease God, thou shalt not die! Take courage! But how cometh it that\nthou art fallen ill so suddenly?\u201d\n\n\u201cI know not! I know not!\u201d answered the girl. \u201cThou dost madden me by\nthese questions.\u201d\n\nThe mother took the daughter\u2019s hand, and felt her pulse, her body and\nher head; then she said to her son-in-law:\n\n\u201cIn sooth, she is sorely ill. She is on fire. We must find some remedy.\nHast aught of her water?\u201d\n\n\u201cThat which she made last night is there,\u201d said one of the attendants.\n\n\u201cGive it me,\u201d said the mother.\n\nShe took the urine, and put it in a proper vessel, and told her\nson-in-law that she would show it to a physician, that he might know\nwhat he might do to her daughter to cure her.\n\n\u201cFor God\u2019s sake! spare naught!\u201d she said. \u201cI have still some money, but\nI love my daughter better than money.\u201d\n\n\u201cSpare!\u201d said he. \u201cIf money can help, I will not fail her.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen thou goest,[110] and while she is resting,\u201d said the mother, \u201cI\nwill go home; but I will return an I am needed.\u201d\n\n [110] The text here is somewhat obscure. Mr. Douglas translates \u201cNo\n need to go so fast.\u201d\n\nNow it should be known that the old woman on the previous day, when she\nquitted her daughter, had instructed the physician, who was well aware\nof what he must say. So the young man carried his wife\u2019s water to the\nphysician, and, having saluted him, related how sick and suffering was\nhis wife.\n\n\u201cAnd I have brought some of her water that thou mayest judge how sick\nshe is, and the more easily cure her,\u201d said the young man.\n\nThe physician took the vessel of urine, and, turning it about and\nexamining it, said:\n\n\u201cThy wife is sore afflicted with illness and in peril of death unless\nsuccour be forthcoming. Her water showeth it.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh! master, for the love of God, tell me what to do, and I will pay\nthee well canst thou restore her to health and prevent her from dying!\u201d\n\n\u201cShe need not die an thou obeyest my commands,\u201d quoth the physician.\n\u201cBut if thou dost not make haste, all the money in the world will not\nsave her from death.\u201d\n\n\u201cTell me, for Gods sake, what to do,\u201d said the other, \u201cand I will do\nit.\u201d\n\n\u201cShe must have connection with a man or she will die,\u201d answered the\nphysician.\n\n\u201cConnection with a man?\u201d said the other. \u201cWhat is that?\u201d\n\n\u201cIt meaneth,\u201d continued the doctor, \u201cthat thou must mount on top of\nher, and speedily ram her three or four times, or more if thou canst;\notherwise, the great heat which doth consume and kill her, will not be\nextinguished.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat will be good for her?\u201d\n\n\u201cShe is a dead woman,\u201d answered the physician, \u201can thou do it not and\ndo it quickly.\u201d\n\n\u201cBy St. John!\u201d said the other, \u201cI will try what I can do.\u201d\n\nWith that he went home and found his wife, who was groaning and\nlamenting loudly.\n\n\u201cHow art thou, beloved?\u201d asked he.\n\n\u201cI die, beloved,\u201d answered she.\n\n\u201cPlease God, thou shalt not die,\u201d said he. \u201cI have conversed with the\nphysician, who hath told me what medicine will cure thee.\u201d\n\nAnd, as he spoke, he fell to undressing, and lay down beside his wife,\nand began to execute in clumsy fashion the orders he had received from\nthe physician.\n\n\u201cWhat dost thou?\u201d asked his wife. \u201cWouldst kill me?\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, I am about to cure thee,\u201d said he. \u201cThe physician hath assured\nme.\u201d\n\nAnd Nature instructing and the patient assisting, he performed upon her\ntwice or thrice. When resting from his labours, much astonished at\nwhat had befallen, he asked his wife how she was.\n\n\u201cI am a little better than I was hitherto,\u201d she replied.\n\n\u201cGod be praised,\u201d quoth he. \u201cI hope thou wilt get well and that the\nphysician hath spoken truly.\u201d\n\nAnd with that he fell to again.\n\nTo cut matters short, he performed so well that his wife was cured in a\nfew days, whereat he was very joyful, as was the mother when she knew\nof it.\n\nEver afterwards our Champenois became a better fellow than heretofore,\nand his wife being now restored to health, he one day invited all his\nfriends and relatives to dine with him, and also the father and mother\nof his wife, and he served good cheer after his own fashion. They drank\nto him, and he drank to them, and he was right good company.\n\nBut hear what befell him. In the midst of the feast he fell to weeping,\nwhich much astonished all his friends who were at table with him; and\nthey demanded what was the matter, but he could not answer for weeping\nscalding tears. At length he spake, saying:\n\n\u201cI have good cause to weep.\u201d\n\n\u201cBy my oath thou hast not!\u201d replied his mother-in-law. \u201cWhat aileth\nthee? Thou art rich and powerful and well-housed, and hast good\nfriends, nor must thou forget thy fair and good wife, whom God brought\nback to health when she was on the verge of the grave. In my thinking\nthou shouldst be light-hearted and joyous.\u201d\n\n\u201cAlas!\u201d said he. \u201cWoe is me! My father and mother, who both loved me,\nand who amassed and bequeathed me so much wealth, are dead, and by\nmy fault, for they died of a fever, and had I well touzled[111] them\nboth when they were ill, as I did my wife, they would still be on their\nfeet.\u201d\n\n [111] _Touzle_ or _Tousle_, in its original sense, meant \u201cto\n rumple\u201d--\u201cto pull or mess about,\u201d but came in time to signify, in\n erotic slang, the act of \u201cmastering a woman by romping.\u201d (_Vide_\n Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_.) It belongs to that class of word\n connoting the sexual act which may be described as _energetic_, as\n implying a sense of lively action and movement. Farmer, under his\n key-word _Ride_, gives a number of similar terms, among them:--to\n _belly-bump_; to _bounce_; to _cuddle_; to _ferret_; to _frisk_;\n to _fumble_; to _hug_; to _hustle_; to _jiggle_; to _jumble_; to\n _muddle_; to _niggle_; to _plough_; to _rummage_; to _shake_; and to\n _tumble_. _Touzle_ is Fielding\u2019s term for the venereal act.\n\nThere was none at table who, on hearing this, would not fain have\nlaughed; nevertheless, all restrained themselves as best they might.\nThe tables were removed and each went his way, and the young man\ncontinued to live with his wife, and, in order that she might remain in\ngood health, he failed not to tail her pretty often.\n\n\n\n\nTHE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER.[112]\n\n [112] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883: _Secret Stories\n from the Russian_.\n\n\nOnce on a time there dwelt a priest and his wife; they had two\ndaughters. The priest hired a labourer, and in the spring he made a\npilgrimage; but before setting out he gave his orders to the labourer.\n\n\u201cSee, friend,\u201d said the priest, \u201con my return I would find all the\ngarden dug up and the beds set out.\u201d\n\n\u201cI hear, little father,\u201d answered the labourer.\n\nThe labourer dug so ill that the garden went to wrack and ruin, and all\nthe while he enjoyed himself. When the priest returned, he went to the\ngarden and saw that naught had been done.\n\n\u201cAh, friend,\u201d asked the priest of the labourer, \u201cis it possible that\nthou knowest not how to dig a garden?\u201d\n\n\u201cAssuredly I know not,\u201d answered the labourer. \u201cHad I known I would\nhave done it.\u201d\n\n\u201cGo, then, into the house, and beg of my daughters to give thee an iron\nshovel, and I will show thee how to dig.\u201d\n\nThe labourer sped to the house and sought the daughters.\n\n\u201cLittle mistresses,\u201d quoth he, \u201cthe little father orders ye to give me\n... both of ye....\u201d\n\n\u201cGive thee what?\u201d\n\n\u201cYe know well he meaneth ye yourselves ... to futter!\u201d\n\nThe priest\u2019s daughters fell to abusing the labourer.\n\n\u201cWhat availeth it to abuse me?\u201d asked the labourer. \u201cThe little father\nhath ordered ye to yield me this at once, for the borders of the garden\nmust be dug. An ye believe not me, ask of him yourselves.\u201d\n\nOne of the daughters straightway ran to the steps leading to the house,\nand cried:\n\n\u201cLittle father! Hast ordered us to give this thing to the labourer?\u201d\n\n\u201cGive it him swiftly! Why keepest him waiting?\u201d answered the priest.\n\n\u201cCome, my sister,\u201d said the young girl when she returned. \u201cThere is no\nhelp for it. We must give it him. So the little father hath ordered.\u201d\n\nBoth then went to bed, and the labourer put the matter through most\nexpeditiously. Afterwards, he took a shovel from the shed, and ran to\nthe little father in the garden. The priest showed him how to dig the\nborders of the garden, and he himself returned to the house to his\nwife. But what saw he? His daughters in tears.\n\n\u201cWhy weep ye?\u201d\n\n\u201cHow should we not weep, little father,\u201d answered they, \u201cwhen thou\nthyself hast ordered the labourer to make mock of us?\u201d\n\n\u201cTo make mock of ye?\u201d\n\n\u201cDidst not order us to yield it to him?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd why not? I ordered ye to give him a shovel.\u201d\n\n\u201cA shovel? He hath dishonoured us! He hath taken our virginity!\u201d\n\nWhen the priest heard this, he fell into a mighty rage, seized a stake,\nand ran headlong to the kitchen garden. The labourer perceived the\npriest approaching with a stake. Wretched mischance! He hurled the\nshovel from him and took to his heels. The priest sped after him, but\nthe labourer was the more agile, and vanished from the sight of the\npriest.\n\nThen went the priest in search of his labourer, and in his search he\nencountered a peasant.\n\n\u201cGood day, friend,\u201d said the priest.\n\n\u201cGood day, little father,\u201d answered the peasant.\n\n\u201cHast encountered my labourer?\u201d\n\n\u201cI know not. A lad passed me, running swiftly.\u201d\n\n\u201cTis he! Come with me, little peasant, and aid me in the search. I will\npay thee well.\u201d\n\nThey set out together; not far off they came upon a strolling player.\n\n\u201cGood day, strolling player,\u201d said the priest.\n\n\u201cGood day, little father,\u201d answered the strolling player.\n\n\u201cHast met a lad just now?\u201d\n\n\u201cYea, little father. There was one who went running past me.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis he! Aid us in the search. I will pay thee well.\u201d\n\n\u201cWillingly, little father.\u201d\n\nAnd the three set forth together.\n\nNow the labourer had run to the village, and having clad himself in\nother garments, went himself to meet the priest. And the priest failed\nto recognise him, but questioned him, saying:\n\n\u201cTell me, friend--hast seen a labourer on the road?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have seen one, and he ran to the village.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome, friend, aid us in the search.\u201d\n\n\u201cWillingly, little father.\u201d\n\nAll four then went in search of the priest\u2019s labourer; they entered\nthe village; they walked; they walked unto eventide; naught befell.\nDarkness descended. Where might they pass the night?\n\nAnon they came to a house where dwelt a widow, and they begged leave of\nher to pass the night therein.\n\n\u201cGood people,\u201d replied the widow, \u201cthere will be a deluge this night in\nmy house. I warn ye of it beforehand. Ye will be drowned.\u201d\n\nHowbeit, she did not refuse them--indeed, she might not--and she let\nthem enter for the night.\n\n(Now the widow\u2019s lover had promised to visit her that night.)\n\nAll four then entered the house and betook themselves to bed. The\npriest, thinking perchance there might be a deluge, laid hold of a\ngreat trough, set it upon a shelf, and put himself to sleep in the\ntrough.\n\n\u201cIf there be a deluge,\u201d thought he to himself, \u201cI shall float upon the\ntop of it in the trough.\u201d\n\nThe strolling player laid himself down by the hearth, his head in the\nashes; the peasant reclined on the bench behind the table; and the\npriest\u2019s labourer stretched himself on the stool by the window. Hardly\nhad they lain down ere they fell into deep slumber, excepting the\nlabourer, who alone slept not. He it was who heard the lover of the\nmistress of the house come beneath the window and knock, saying:\n\n\u201cOpen, my beloved.\u201d\n\nThe labourer arose, opened the window, and spake in low tones, saying:\n\n\u201cBeloved, thou comest at an ill moment. Strangers are within my house,\npassing the night therein. Come thou the next night.\u201d\n\n\u201cI go, beloved,\u201d answered the lover. \u201cBut lean thou from the window\nthat we may embrace.\u201d\n\nThe labourer turned his posterior to the window and thrust out his\nbackside. The lover embraced it with rapture.\n\n\u201cI go ... adieu, my beloved. Fare thee well. I will return to-morrow\nnight.\u201d\n\n\u201cGo, loved one. I will await thee, but, as a parting gift, give me thy\nyard, which I will hold for several moments in my hand. \u2018Twill console\nme somewhat.\u201d\n\nThe lover drew forth his yard from his drawers and thrust it towards\nthe window.\n\n\u201cTake it, beloved,\u201d quoth he. \u201cAmuse thyself.\u201d\n\nThe labourer took the yard in his hand, caressed it once or twice, drew\nhis knife from his pocket, and, with one blow, cut off the member and\ntesticles of the lover. The latter uttered a great cry, and sped amain\nto his home. The labourer shut the window, sat down on the bench, and\nmade a noise with his mouth, as though eating. The peasant heard the\nnoise and awoke, saying:\n\n\u201cWhat eatest thou, comrade?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have found a morsel of sausage on the table, but I cannot eat it\nall, for \u2018tis uncooked.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo matter if it be uncooked, comrade. Give me a portion to sample.\u201d\n\n\u201cThere is not much, friend, but take what is left and eat.\u201d And he gave\nhim the cut-off yard.\n\nThe peasant fell to chewing the \u2018sausage\u2019 with fine appetite. He chewed\nand chewed, but could not swallow the morsel.\n\n\u201cWhat is wrong with it, comrade?\u201d he asked. \u201c\u2018Tis impossible to eat it.\n\u2018Tis so tough.\u201d\n\n\u201cPut it in the frying-pan, roast it, and then thou wilt be able to eat\nit.\u201d\n\nThe peasant arose, went towards the frying-pan, and crammed the\n\u2018sausage\u2019 right \u2018twixt the teeth of the strolling player. He held it\nthere; he held it there for a long while, making experiment with it.\n\n\u201cNay,\u201d said he, at length. \u201cThe \u2018sausage\u2019 hath not grown tender. The\nfire hath done naught.\u201d\n\n\u201cCease to wrestle with the thing,\u201d said the labourer. \u201cThe mistress of\nthe house will hear and will scold us. Thou hast scattered the fire\nover the frying-pan. Look! sprinkle it with water that the woman may\nperceive naught.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut where may I get the water?\u201d\n\n\u201cPiss o\u2019er it. Better extinguish the fire than have to go forth into\nthe courtyard.\u201d\n\nThe peasant had great desire to piss, and he pissed forthwith upon the\nface of the strolling player. And when the strolling player felt the\nwater, coming whence he knew not, fall right in his mouth, he said:\n\n\u201cThe deluge hath arrived!\u201d\n\nAnd he fell to crying with all the strength of his lungs:\n\n\u201cLittle father! The deluge! The deluge!\u201d\n\nThe priest heard the voice of the strolling player, and, half asleep,\nsought to cast himself, together with the trough, straight into the\nwater, but instead he fell heavily on the ground, bruising himself all\nover.\n\n\u201cAh! my God!\u201d he cried. \u201cWhen a child falleth, the good Lord placeth\na cushion under it, but when an old man tumbleth, the devil putteth a\nharrow beneath him. Behold me all sore and bruised. Of a certainty I\nshall ne\u2019er find that brigand of a labourer.\u201d\n\nQuoth the labourer to the priest:\n\n\u201cSeek him no more, I counsel thee. Go home, and may the Lord go with\nthee. It were better for thy health.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER_.\n\nThe foregoing story reminds one of the device employed by \u201cThe Youth\nwho would Futter his Father\u2019s Wives,\u201d (_The Thousand Nights and a\nNight: Supplemental Nights_, vol. 6: Translated by Sir Richard F.\nBurton.) In the latter case the father sets out on a journey, but,\nhaving forgotten his shoes, instructs his son, who is accompanying him\nfor a short way, to return and fetch them. The youth goes back, informs\nhis father\u2019s wives that they are to sleep with him in his parent\u2019s\nabsence, and, when they are incredulous, shouts to his father in the\ndistance:\n\n\u201cO my papa, one of them or the two of them?\u201d\n\nThe father, referring, of course, to his shoes, shouts back:\n\n\u201cThe two! The two!\u201d\n\nThe wives are convinced by this remark, as were the virgin daughters\nof the priest in our story from _Kruptadia_. We shall reserve further\nextracts from this Oriental narrative for a subsequent volume of\n_Anthologica Rarissima_, the plot and details being inappropriate to\nour present theme.\n\n\n\n\nTHE TWO LOVERS AND THE TWO SISTERS.[113]\n\n [113] Masuccio: _The Novellino_: Translated into English by W. G.\n Waters: Lawrence and Bullen: London, 1894: vol. 2, Forty-first Novel.\n\n\nI will tell you, therefore, that in those days when Duke Ranier of\nAnjou, envious of the peace and quiet, as well as of the power and the\nwisdom of that divine prince, King Don Alfonso, was driven from Naples\nand from the Kingdom, it pleased him to tarry for a certain season in\nFlorence. There were, amongst the other Frenchmen who were involved in\nthe ruin and shipwreck of his fortunes, two valiant and accomplished\ncavaliers, the one named Filippo de Lincurto and the other Ciarlo\nd\u2019Amboia.\n\nNow these two, although they were very prudent and endowed with many\nvirtues, were inclined nevertheless, being young and given over to\nlove, to leave the burden of disaster, and the cares thereof as well,\nto him who was especially concerned with the same, that is, to the duke.\n\nIt happened that in their daily rides through Florence Filippo fell\ndeeply in love with a graceful and very lovely young lady of noble\nparentage, and wife to a citizen of repute; and while he strove\nincessantly to win her, it chanced that Ciarlo, as he ranged another\npart of the city, became enamoured of a sister of Filippo\u2019s lady-love,\nwho abode unmarried in her father\u2019s house. He, unwitting of this\nkinship, made up his mind, albeit he deemed her passing fair, to keep\nhis passion within sober limits, forasmuch as he was well versed in the\nstrife of love and aware that young damsels are wont to love lightly\nand without constancy. Filippo, finding that his fair lady was discreet\nand of good understanding, and being also fully prepared to become her\nservant, resolved to give her his love entirely; on which account the\nlady, realizing his humour and considering his many and praiseworthy\nparts, likewise determined to recompense him with all the love of her\nheart, and began to favour him with her kindness in such wise that he\nsaw she was the only woman in the world who knew how to love.\n\nShe, certes, would have let him taste at once the supreme fruit of\nlove had she not been restrained therefrom by the continual presence\nof her husband; so, having given Filippo assurance, both by letter and\nby messages, that she was firmly set in this purpose, the two lovers\nlonged beyond aught else for the time when the husband would take his\ndeparture to Flanders in the galley which was now expected at any hour\nto touch at Pisa.\n\nWhile they thus abode in pleasureable expectation, Duke Ranier was\nobliged to return to France, whereat both the cavaliers felt mightily\naggrieved, and especially that one of the two who loved and likewise\nwas loved in return; nevertheless, being bound by necessity, they took\ntheir departure, snared as they were in amorous toils.\n\nFilippo swore to his lady that no obstacle, however great, should\ndebar him from returning, and that, come what might, he as a loyal\nlover would never forsake her. Having consoled her with other speeches\nyet more affectionate, he and his companion set forth; and after his\nreturn it came to pass in the course of time, either through some fresh\nfancy or through the cares of business, that Filippo, albeit he still\nremembered the lady left behind, let the ardent flames of his passion\ngrow colder every day. He not only forgot his promise to return, but\nbeyond this neglected to answer any of the many letters writ to him by\nthe lady.\n\nOn this account she, perceiving how she was well-nigh forsaken by this\nlover once so ardent, was stricken with such cruel grief thereanent\nthat she almost lost her wits; but, calling to mind the stainless\nvirtue of the cavalier, she could not persuade herself that so noble\na heart could harbour such inhumanity. However, when she remembered\nhis latest words, both written and sent to her by the mouth of\ntheir trusted messenger, she deliberated how she might by a new and\nsuggestive plan stimulate the virtue of her lover and thereby make a\nfinal trial on behalf of her passion.\n\nThus she caused to be made by a skilled master a ring of gold, wrought\nvery finely, and in this she had set a counterfeit diamond, most\nmanifestly false, letting engrave round the ring itself the words, \u2018La\nma za batani?\u2019[114] This, after she had wrapped it in fine cambric,\nshe sent to her Filippo by a certain young man of Florence, who knew\nhow things stood with her, and who was going to France after his own\naffairs, charging him that he should himself deliver it to Filippo with\nno farther words than these: \u201cShe who loves you and you only sends you\nthis, and implores you to let her have a fitting answer thereto.\u201d\n\n [114] St. Matthew, 27, 46: \u201cWhy hast thou forsaken me?\u201d\n\nIn due time the envoy with his offering and his message arrived at\nFilippo\u2019s house and was joyfully received; but after the cavalier had\nmarked with amazement what was the quality of the ring, and what the\nmotto graven thereupon, he went about for several days pondering over\nthe purport of the same, and finding himself unable to draw from it the\ntrue meaning, he determined to show it to Ciarlo and to divers other\ngentlemen of the court; but these, taken singularly and altogether,\nwhat though they used all their wits, were unable to hit the mark.\n\nFinally its meaning was fathomed by Duke John, who was a gentleman of\ngreat discretion, albeit more fortunate in advising others than in\nreaping victory in the many enterprises he undertook. What it said was\nthis:\n\n\u201cFalse diamond, why hast thou forsaken me?\u201d\n\nWhen Filippo heard this sentence he saw at once how the lady had most\njustly and prudently reproved him for his lover\u2019s unfaith, and began to\nconsider how he might by a device of the same sort answer so graceful\na proposition and repay so heavy a debt of love. So, being minded to\nconclude the matter, he went to his dear friend Ciarlo, beseeching him\nby the friendship there was between them, that he would go with him to\nFlorence for the reason aforesaid.\n\nAnd albeit Ciarlo found this somewhat hard at first, he ended by\nconsenting to oblige so dear a friend, deeming besides that he might\nperadventure thereby compass some pleasure for himself and for the\ndamsel he loved. Thereupon they set forth, and having duly come to\nFlorence, they began at the first chance to walk past the houses of\ntheir ladies in order to signify their presence; and Filippo soon\nsent word by his wonted messenger to his lady how he had sufficiently\nunderstood the message which the ring sent by her had borne, and how\nhe knew no other method of disproving her false opinion of him save by\nbearing witness for himself, wherefore it behoved her to grant him an\ninterview meet for the occasion.\n\nThe gracious lady, who with her sister had rejoiced amain over the\nreturn of their lovers, and had deliberated what course should be\ntaken, as soon as she heard this kindly message, so manifestly\nspringing from love, was filled with such joy that she felt almost\njealous of herself, and so as to lose no more time over the matter\nshe sent back a brief answer to Filippo, bidding him wait with his\ncompanion before the door of her house next evening.\n\nWherefore Filippo, as soon as the hour had come, betook himself merrily\nwith his friend Ciarlo to the spot which had been named, and there\nthey caught sight of the lady, who gave them most gladsome reception.\nAfter she had made a trusty maidservant of hers open to them the door\nand bring them in, she likewise gave them to understand, by the mouth\nof this same woman, that the only way in which the thing she so much\ndesired could be brought about would be that, while she should be\ntaking her pleasure with Filippo, Messer Ciarlo should go and strip\nnaked and lie down in the bed beside her husband, in order that, if\nby chance the husband should wake and feel Ciarlo in bed, he might\nbelieve that his wife was still there.\n\nUnless he should consent to do this, they would all run great peril of\ntheir honour and of their lives as well; wherefore she besought them to\nput in practice the timely stratagem which she had provided, or else\nwithdraw from the place forthwith.\n\nAs soon as Ciarlo heard this request, what though he would have gone\ndown to hell to serve his comrade, he was conscious that, even if the\nbusiness should come to a fortunate issue, it would be to him a great\nloss of good fame were he to be found there stark naked; wherefore he\nrefused altogether to go on such service in such fashion, declaring,\nhowever, that if he might go clad and carrying his sword in his hand he\nwould willingly do what they wanted.\n\nNow Filippo had travelled all the way from France to foregather with\nhis lady-love, and, in considering the difficult parts to which they\nhad come, he perceived that his friend was speaking and that the\nlady was acting with good show of reason; so, after many and divers\narguments, for the reason that the lady remained firmly fixed in her\npurpose and that he himself was more than ever fired with amorous\ndesire, he besought Ciarlo almost with tears that, by the bonds of\nfriendship, he would consent to oblige them, what though the thing\nitself might be unseemly.\n\nTherefore Ciarlo, seeing how great was the passion which possessed his\nfriend, and to what a pass the affair had come, determined that he\nwould if need be meet death itself rather than be wanting in service to\nFilippo.\n\nThereupon the waiting-woman taking Ciarlo by the hand led him in the\ndark to the lady, and she, having given him kindly welcome, took him\ninto her own chamber, and there bade him take off all his clothes and\nget into the bed, keeping his sword at hand. Then she softly bade him\nbe of good heart and have patience, for she would soon return and\nrelease him. This done, she went full of joy to her Filippo, and having\nled him into another room they reaped the full and delightful fruit of\ntheir desire.\n\nNow when Ciarlo had waited, not two, but four hours, he began to think\nthat it was full time for the lady, or at least for his trusty comrade,\nto come and set him free; so, hearing no one coming, and perceiving\nthat it was near daybreak, he said to himself:\n\n\u201cIf these others, all afire with love, feel no concern at having left\nme here to play a fool\u2019s part, it is now full time for me to take\nthought of myself and of my honour.\u201d\n\nHaving softly got out of bed, himseeming that the lady\u2019s husband was\nasleep, he went with the sheet over his shoulders to try to escape, but\nwas hugely annoyed at finding the chamber door securely locked outside;\nand, not knowing where the windows were, nor on what place they looked,\nhe went back to the bed in a fury.\n\nHe heard sounds which told him that the other occupant of the bed\nwas awake and moving, and, though he was pricked both by fear and\ncuriosity, he kept aloof and spake not a word. While he was thus\ntroubled in mind he marked through the fissures of the windows that it\nwas now broad day, and, fearing amain lest he should be espied by his\nbed-partner, he turned his back, and, gathering himself together and\nkeeping his sword ready for his needs, he resolved to leave whatever\nmight befall him to Fortune, and kept still, mightily troubled in mind.\n\nBefore long he heard sounds of the fires being kindled throughout the\nhouse, and the hasty steps of the servants as they ran to fetch water;\nwherefore he determined at the last rather to die as beseemed a good\ncavalier than to be found there stark naked and making shift for a\nwoman; so, having leapt out of bed with his drawn sword, he went to the\ndoor, and, as he was using all his force to open the same, he became\naware how someone was unfastening it from without.\n\nHe drew back somewhat, and then saw enter Filippo, laughing heartily\nand holding the lady by the hand. The two straightway began to embrace\nhim in merry wise, albeit they saw he was bursting with rage. But when\nthe lady perceived that he was all bemused, and unwitting where he was,\nshe took him by the hand and said to him:\n\n\u201cMy good sir, by the sincere love I bear towards you, and also by that\nwhich you have towards certain others, I will assure myself that I may\nspeak to you concerning a matter which intimacy such as ours will allow\nus to discuss. I know not whether Nature may have failed to bestow upon\nyou French gentlemen that which she always gives to the lower animals.\nI mean to say that I know of no male beast, whether wild or tame,\nwhich, when under the sway of love, will not recognise the female by\nher odour. And you, forsooth, a wise and discreet gentleman, who have\ncome hither all the way from France on account of love, can it be that\nyour frozen nature is so sluggish that, when Fortune lets you spend\nthe whole of a long night by the side of her for whom you have shown\nsuch great tokens of love, you failed to scent out who she was?\u201d\n\nThen, having led him up to the bedside, she let him see and know\nclearly that it was her sister and no one else who had lain beside him\nduring the night which was just passed.\n\nWhen he perceived this thing the cavalier was not a little ashamed of\nhimself, but finally all four laughed and joked so merrily that they\ncould scarce stand upright on their feet; and because of the pass to\nwhich things had come, it seemed meet to all that, for the setting\nright of the fault aforesaid, they should once more divide in pairs.\n\nWhereupon Ciarlo, having got back into bed, plucked the fresh flower\nand the earliest fruit of the goodly garden which fell to his lot, and\nthe two friends remained there, each taking delight with his own lady,\nuntil the husband came back from western parts.\n\n\n\n\nTHE BURNING YARD.[115]\n\n [115] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883: vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_.\n\n\nA peasant had a daughter who said unto him: \u201cLittle father, Vannka\nwould fain futter me.\u201d \u201cAh! thou fool!\u201d quoth the peasant. \u201cWhy give\nthyself to a stranger? We will futter thee right well ourselves.\u201d\n\nHe took an iron stud, warmed it in the stove, and planted it right in\nher coynte, in such fashion that she could not piss for three months.\n\nVannka encountered the young girl and again made his proposal.\n\n\u201cPermit me to futter thee,\u201d said he.\n\nQuoth she:\n\n\u201cThou ravest, Vannka, who art sprung from the devil. My little father\nhath futtered me, and he hath so scorched my coynte that for three\nmonths I have not been able to piss.\u201d\n\n\u201cFear not, simpleton. My yard is cold.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou liest, Vannka, devil\u2019s offspring. Let me touch it.\u201d\n\n\u201cTake it, then.\u201d\n\nShe took his yard in her hand and cried:\n\n\u201cAh! wretched devil! thou seest well \u2018tis warm! Dip it in the water!\u201d\n\nVannka dipped his yard in the water and whistled with pain.\n\n\u201cSee!\u201d quoth the girl. \u201cIt hisseth! I told thee \u2018twas burning, and thou\ndidst deceive me, thief!\u201d\n\nAnd she would not let herself be futtered by Vannka.\n\n\n\n\nTAKE TIME BY THE FORELOCK.[116]\n\n [116] _Les Faceties de Pogge_ (Poggio) _Florentin_: Translated by\n Pierre des Brandes: Paris: Gamier Fr\u00e8res, n.d. The English rendering\n is, of course, our own.\n\n_Of a young wife who was made a fool of by her old husband._\n\n\nA native of Florence, already old, espoused a young maid, whom the\nmatrons had instructed to resist the first assault of her husband on\nthe wedding night, and to yield herself as reluctantly as possible. She\nrefused, therefore, point-blank, to accede to his desires.\n\nThe husband, \u2018decks cleared for action and with all sail furled,\u2019 was\nastonished by this refusal, and asked why she would not give way to his\nwishes. The virgin replied that she had a pain in her head; whereupon\nthe husband \u2018disarmed,\u2019 lay down on his side, and slept till morn.\n\nThe young wife, when she perceived that her husband left her alone,\nfelt remorse in that she had followed the counsels of the gossips; she\naroused her husband, and told him that she no longer had a pain in the\nhead.\n\n\u201cAh!\u201d quoth the husband. \u201cI, now, have a pain ... in another\npart.\u201d[117] And he left his wife virgin as before.\n\n [117] \u201cThe text has a play upon words,\u201d says the translator, \u201cwhich\n could be translated if the French words had the same meaning as the\n Latin:--_Dixit (puella) se non amplius dolere caput. Tum ille: \u2018At\n ego nunc doleo caudam.\u2019_ (The girl said that she no longer had a pain\n in the head. Said the husband: \u2018But I have a pain in my tail.\u2019)\u201d\n This note, we must confess, is a source of some mystification to us,\n since the relationship between the French and Latin words is both\n simple and direct. _Cauda_, of course, is the Latin word for _tail_:\n in the erotic sense it designates the _penis_. (_C.f._ Blondeau:\n _Dictionnaire \u00e9rotique latin-fran\u00e7aise_: Liseux: Paris, 1885.) The\n Italians use the word _coda_ in a similar sense. _Tail_, in French,\n is _queue_; in erotic literature it is also a highly common term\n for the _membrum virile_. (_C.f._ Landes: _Glossaire \u00e9rotique de la\n langue fran\u00e7aise_, and Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_.) Again,\n in English, _tail_ is a slang synonym either for the _penis_ or the\n female _pudendum_. _C.f._ Farmer: _Slang and its Analogues_, who gives\n numerous examples of the use of the word in this sense. We append a\n few of his quotations:--(1) Chaucer, _Cant. Tales_, 6047-8: \u201cFor al so\n siker as cold engendreth hayl, A likerous mouth must han a likerous\n TAYL.\u201d (2) Rochester, _Poems_: \u201cThen pulling out the rector of the\n females, Nine times he bath\u2019d him in their piping tails.\u201d (3) Motteux,\n _Rabelais_, V., xxi.: \u201cThey were pulling and hauling the man like mad,\n telling him that it is the most grievous ... thing in nature for the\n TAIL to be on fire....\u201d\n\n\u2018Tis a good plan, therefore, to accept what may be profitable and\npleasant when \u2018tis offered.\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _TAKE TIME BY THE FORELOCK_.\n\nQuoting from M\u00e9rard de Saint-Just, (_Espi\u00e8gleries Joyeuset\u00e9s_),\nPoggio\u2019s translator gives a variant in verse of the foregoing story. We\nreproduce it in less ambitious English prose:--\n\n\u201cPierre the Red, wrapped in his bed-clothes, felt himself stimulated by\nthe burning flame of the god of love, and he invited his wife to come\nstraightway to his arms. It chanced that she was praying, and she made\nreply: \u2018Wait a while.\u2019 And whilst her _Paters_ and her _Agnus\u2019_ and her\n_Aves_ were accomplished, Pierre\u2019s ardour had had time to grow cold.\nShe entered the bed, but the chilled husband maintained his pretence.\nShe drew near him; he did not budge. \u2018Beloved, what dost wish? I have\nsaid my prayers.\u2019--\u2019Good,\u2019 quoth Pierre the Red. \u2018But I have grown\nsoft.\u2019\u201d\n\n\n\n\nFIRST MEETING BETWEEN A YOUTH AND HIS FIANC\u00c9E.[118]\n\n [118] _Kruptadia_: Heilbronn: Henninger Fr\u00e8res, 1883: vol. 1: _Secret\n Stories from the Russian_.\n\n\nAn old man had a son, a fine lad. Another old man had a daughter, a\nmarriageable girl. They pictured these two young ones married.\n\n\u201cIvanouchka,\u201d said the father, \u201cI desire thee to marry the daughter of\nour neighbour; approach her and discourse gently and courteously with\nher.\u201d\n\n\u201cMachoutka,\u201d said the other old man, \u201cI would give thee in marriage to\nthe son of our neighbour; seek to meet him and have pleasant converse\nwith him.\u201d\n\nThese two young persons met in the street and greeted each other.\n\n\u201cIvanouchka,\u201d quoth the young girl, \u201cmy father hath bade me have\npleasant discourse with thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy father hath instructed me likewise,\u201d answered the youth.\n\n\u201cWhat shall we do? Where sleepest thou, Ivanouchka?\u201d\n\n\u201cIn the hay.\u201d\n\n\u201cAs for me,\u201d quoth the girl, \u201cI sleep in the coach-house. Come this\nnight to me, and we will hold pleasant converse together.\u201d\n\nThus it was. During the night Ivanouchka went and lay down with\nMachoutka.\n\n\u201cCamest thou by the threshing-floor?\u201d asked she.\n\n\u201cYea. Hast thou seen the heap of dung?\u201d\n\n\u201cI have seen it.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat shall we do now?\u201d[119]\n\n [119] The young people are obviously nervous, and are making\n conversation.\n\n\u201cI must see if thou hast a good instrument.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome, look,\u201d said he, and undid his drawers. \u201cBehold my riches!\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Tis too big for me! See how small is mine!\u201d\n\n\u201cLet me see if mine will go in.\u201d\n\nAnd the youth set himself to make the trial; his yard rose up erect\nlike a stake, and when he thrust it in, the young girl cried with all\nher might:\n\n\u201cAh! that hurteth me! How it biteth!\u201d\n\n\u201cHave no fear. My yard hath not sufficient room; for that reason it is\nso angry.\u201d\n\n\u201cI told thee that there was not sufficient space for it.\u201d\n\n\u201cWait--it will stretch.\u201d\n\nAnon, when he made her to feel much pleasure, she said to him:\n\n\u201cAh! my little heart! Thy riches are indeed worth much money.\u201d\n\nThey performed and fell asleep.\n\nBut the girl awoke during the night, and kissed the backside of the\nyoung man, which she took for his face. He let her do this to satiety,\nand the girl said to him:\n\n\u201cKnowest thou, Vania, that thou smellest most scurvily!\u201d\n\n\n\n\nTHE BREAKER OF EGGS.[120]\n\n [120] B\u00e9roalde de Verville: _Le Moyen de Parvenir_: Paris, Gamier\n Fr\u00e8res; also _Fantastic Tales or The Way to Attain_: translated\n by Arthur Machen: Carbonnek, 1890. Our extract is a blend of both\n versions, though we have adhered more closely than Machen to the\n original text. _Vide_ also _Excursus_ to this story.\n\n\nOnce on a time there lived alone in a lodging near St. Ives a young\nman. \u2018Twas at the time when the debate was running high \u2018twixt the\nmonks and the ministers whether \u2018twere better to say: \u201cBlessed are they\nthat have dined well,\u201d or, \u201cBlessed are they that laugh.\u201d The young man\ntook but scant interest in these theological discussions, and devoted\nhis attention to the maid, who was a fine enough young thing, though\nsomewhat green. He would talk with her coolly and discreetly, and one\nday said:\n\n\u201cThou art from the country, little friend?\u201d\n\n\u201cTruly, sir.\u201d\n\n\u201cI was assured of it and shall love thee none the less: thou art a good\ngirl and a good housekeeper.\u201d\n\n\u201cI thank thee kindly, sir.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, little friend, since I love thee so much, and that thou mayst\nserve us well, I must e\u2019en tell thee, for thine own good profit, of a\ncertain ill that befalleth country maids when they come to dwell in the\ntown; \u2018tis that small eggs do grow in their bellies and harden there,\nso that these poor maids have to show their posteriors to the doctor. I\nwould grieve shouldst thou come to that, and it shall not be so an thou\nwilt hear me. I will do something for thee, and I see that \u2018tis full\ntime to begin, for, by thy colour, I can tell that the eggs are already\nthere.\u201d\n\n\u201cIndeed, sir, I am greatly beholden, for truly I am not what I was.\u201d\n\n\u201cTo-morrow morning I will give thee something for this malady.\u201d\n\nWhen morning came, she went to his chamber and he gave her a spoonful\nof white hypocras,[121] telling her to go about her house-work and,\nanon, to break her fast on a little dry bread. This treatment was\ncontinued for two or three days, but one morning, when her mistress was\nout of the way, he took hold of the maid and, laughing gently, pushed\nher against the bed as if to look into her mouth.\n\n [121] An infusion of cinnamon bark, soft almonds, and a little musk\n and amber, in wine sweetened with sugar. The word is probably derived\n from Hippocrates, the famous Greek doctor.\n\n\u201cAlas! sir! what wouldst do?\u201d she cried.\n\n\u201cI shall do thee no ill; I would break an egg which is fast hardening.\u201d\n\nShe let him do it, and he did it so well that he put live flesh in live\nflesh.[122] So he finished as soon as he had begun, and she found the\nbusiness so much to her liking, although he had cooked her somewhat,\nthat she came back again and again to have the eggs broken; in sooth,\nshe had wished for a belly in which one might break eggs for an\nhundred years without doing aught else.\n\n [122] We omit the two interjections to be found here in the original\n text, not because they are highly flavoured, but simply because they\n have no bearing on the narrative. Nor do they merit translation in a\n note.\n\nOne day she loitered over long at this pleasant pursuit, and her\nmistress fell to scolding her when she descended, saying:\n\n\u201cThou sly wench! Thou hast been in mischief with that man above! Idiot!\nLittle hussy! What hast been about up there?\u201d\n\n\u201cNaught, madam. Be not wroth; \u2018tis as I shall tell thee.\u201d\n\n\u201cThou hast been after no good with that man above.\u201d\n\n\u201cNay, madam, thou dost him wrong; he is the most honest man in the\nworld. I had eggs in my belly, and he broke them for me.\u201d\n\n\u201cEggs, thou slut! what eggs?\u201d\n\n\u201cBehold, madam, if \u2018tis not so; I will lift my smock; thou canst see\nmy front part, which is yet all damp with the white of the eggs, which\ncame out when he broke them.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n_EXCURSUS_ to _THE BREAKER OF EGGS_.\n\n_Le Moyen de Parvenir_ of B\u00e9roalde de Verville, Canon of St. Gatien\nat Tours, once a Hugenot, then a Catholic, finally \u201cneither one nor\nthe other,\u201d[123] is a work little known to the English reader, be he\nstudent or bibliophile. The cause is not far to seek; no _complete_ and\n_unexpurgated_ English translation of this much censured book exists.\nMachen\u2019s rendering, while claiming to be the first in our language, is\nin no sense full and literal, although free and full-flavoured; the\ntranslator, as he admits in his humourous preface, \u201chas been forced,\nmuch to his sorrow, to weed out some strongly-scented flowers from this\nCanonical Garden.\u201d His text, indeed, shows many notable omissions, in\nparticular the more licentious asides and interjections which have no\nactual bearing on the stories; further, there are sundry additions not\nfound in the old French text--\u201codd scraps from his own workshop,\u201d as\nMachen terms them.\n\n [123] _Dissertation_ de Bernard de la Monnoye sur _Le Moyen de\n Parvenir_.\n\nFor the student, then, there are: Machen\u2019s delightful (but _partial_)\ntranslation, limited to 500 numbered copies and now a rare book,[124]\nand numerous editions in _old_ French, some expurgated, and all\ndifficult of understanding where the average English reader is\nconcerned. As we note in the preface to Garnier\u2019s latest issue, the\nwork, for the greater part, \u201cis an enigma to modern readers and\ncontains a crowd of obscurities ... it would need volume after volume\nto explain and comment upon everything that calls for explanation and\ncomment.\u201d\n\n [124] An experienced auctioneer of books recently told us that until\n December last he had never met with a copy. Strangely enough, two\n copies were sold in a week of that month, one, in every respect as\n clean and perfect as when printed over thirty years ago, realising\n \u00a34.15s. We believe that a few extra copies on large paper still exist,\n but the booksellers ask a prohibitive price for them.\n\n_The Way to Attain_ or _The Right Way with Women_ (the title of de\nVerville\u2019s book has suffered various translations) would seem to have\na dual personality; one: a clear-cut collection of stories, witty,\nrealistic, free, Rabelaisian, or obscene as you choose to term them;\nanother: the same stories, enmeshed in a mass of innuendo, obscure\nsayings, licentious and scatalogical asides, and--sometimes--almost\nmeaningless phraseology. The trouble is to separate the grain from\nthe chaff, the stories from the irrelevant verbiage--not that the\nlatter is not often highly entertaining. Bernard de la Monnoye, in his\n_Dissertation_ (_cit. sup._), bears out our criticism when explaining\nthe plan of the book. \u201cThe author supposes a sort of general banquet,\u201d\nhe writes, \u201cwhere, without regard for rank or degree, he introduces\npersons of every kind and age, scallawags for the most part, who, with\nno object but their own amusement, talk with the utmost freedom, and\npassing almost imperceptibly from subject to subject, cause the stories\nto be lost to sight. In fact, they are so jumbled up in the book that\none is hard put to find them....\u201d\n\nBoth extracts from _The Way to Attain_ given in this volume (Coypeau\nand His Thread and The Breaker of Eggs) are told without interruption\nin the original French text, but each is introduced in the most\nhaphazard fashion, preceded and followed by a veritable welter of\ninconsequent remarks; if Machen found it necessary to weed out the most\nstrongly scented flowers from the Canonical garden, the student will\nfind it equally necessary to dig before he finds the best.\n\nThere are other good things, however, besides the stories in _The Way\nto Attain_. While many of the asides and interjections are gross,\nvulgar, and, seemingly, pointless, others show a pretty and pungent\nwit. The canon is for ever having a thrust at his cloth, the monks, and\nthe nuns, and some of his criticisms are worth repeating:--\n\n\u201cWhere there are no monks there can be no shamelessness.\u201d\n\n\u201cNone sit more at their ease than monks, ministers, and consecrated\nfolk, who, in the place of keeping the holy orders that have been given\nthem, make them into ordure, and leaving the orders of God take the\norders of the devil, who giveth them grace to be more lewd and whorish\nthan other men.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe women that frequent the abodes of churchmen are not their wives,\n... they are first maids, then mates, then mistresses.\u201d\n\n\u201cIt is better to have in one\u2019s house a wench with whom one can disport\ntheologically than to go about wandering from pillar to post like a\nhigh-toby, and run the risk of getting a nip, like Cornu, who sighed as\nhe lay a-dying of the pox: \u2018Now I begin to appreciate the beauties of\ndomesticity.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cOnce on a time he was prebendary of Chartres, but he left his stall\nto marry a pretty lass, and the morning after the wedding, as they lay\nin bed, he said to her: \u2018Now, sweetheart, thou dost see how well I love\nthee, for I left my fair prebend that I might have thee.\u2019 She replied:\n\u2018Then thou wast a fool; thou shouldst have kept thy prebend, and had me\nalso.\u2019 ... It would appear that she knew that some canons are given to\nwaggery.\u201d\n\n\u201cSuch cloisterlings, who love not women, are always ready to fish up\nsome ancient, stinking heresy under the pretence of discoursing against\nthe Reformation, talking of vices they impute to others, the which\nare more tolerable than their own.... It is better to keep a wench\nthan to trouble the peace of Christendom, and to do the work is true\ngodliness, which is the reason why bishops are called fathers-in-God,\n... fathers-in-God sounds better than fathers-in-law. And they are\ncertainly godly, that is happy; for happy, thrice happy is the father\nwho hath not the trouble of feeding his children.\u201d\n\n\u201cHe was as liberal as our bishop, who had rather give a crown to a\nwench than a groat to a poor man.\u201d\n\n\u201cAssuredly she is a strumpet. I saw her talking to the curate of St.\nPaul\u2019s, who had promised his rector to be discreet, and run no more\nafter the wenches, or at least that he would abstain during Easter\nweek. But Lord! he hadn\u2019t the patience, and on Easter Monday he spoke\nto his woman, and the parson saw him. When they met he told him of it,\nsaying: \u2018I saw thee speaking to a wench. Where is thy shame? Canst not\nrefrain, at least during the holy season?\u2019 \u2018Pardon,\u2019 he replied, \u2018I did\nbut make an appointment for next week.\u2019\u201d[125]\n\n [125] Our excerpts are drawn chiefly from Machen\u2019s translation.\n\nWe have quoted sufficiently to show that amid this welter of words\nthere is fruit worth the plucking. The general tone of the work,\nhowever, is coarse; if the canon desired to refer to what is not\nusually mentioned in the most Catholic of assemblies, he did so in\nthe crudest language. To our age the grossness of his obscenity seems\nunnecessary; out of place; unpardonable. Is it so? The conversational\natmosphere of a present-day smoking-room would have made de Verville\nblush. The old canon wrote as men in those times spoke; we of to-day\nwrite not as we speak, but as we think we ought to speak. It is this\npitiful hypocrisy which blinds us to the fact that in _Le Moyen de\nParvenir_ we have some of the brightest tales and sayings ever penned\nby human hand.\n\n\n\n\n                      HERE ENDS THE FIRST VOLUME\n                       OF ANTHOLOGICA RARISSIMA:\n                         THE WAY OF A VIRGIN:\n                           PRINTED IN LONDON\n                            FOR MEMBERS OF\n                              THE BROVAN\n                              SOCIETY IN\n                               MCMXXII.\n\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nTranscriber\u2019s Notes\n\nObvious typographical errors have been silently corrected. Variations\nin hyphenation have been standardised but all other spelling and\npunctuation remains unchanged.\n\nItalics are represented thus _italic_.","title":"Anthologica Rarissima: The Way of a Virgin: Being excerpts from rare, curious and diverting books","tradition":"myth-cosmogony","translated_text":null,"word_count":59553}