{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_56468/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_56468","id":"gutenberg_56468","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/56468","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Biographies","Category: British Literature","Category: Religion/Spirituality","Ignatius, Father, O.S.B., 1837-1908","Monastic and religious life of women","Monasticism and religious orders for women -- Anglican Communion"],"text":"Produced by MFR and the Online Distributed Proofreading\nTeam at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from\nimages generously made available by The Internet Archive)\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nNUNNERY LIFE IN THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND\n\n\n\n\n[Illustration: \u201cSister Mary Agnes. O.S.B.\u201d\n\n_Photogravure by Annan & Swan._]\n\n\n\n\n NUNNERY LIFE\n IN THE\n CHURCH OF ENGLAND;\n OR,\n Seventeen Years with Father Ignatius.\n\n BY\n SISTER MARY AGNES, O.S.B.\n\n EDITED, WITH PREFACE,\n BY THE REV.\n W. LANCELOT HOLLAND, M.A.,\n _Vicar Of All Saints\u2019, Hatcham_.\n\n _FIFTH THOUSAND._\n\n London:\n HODDER AND STOUGHTON,\n 27, PATERNOSTER ROW.\n MDCCCXCI.\n\n BUTLER & TANNER,\n THE SELWOOD PRINTING WORKS,\n FROME, AND LONDON.\n\n\n\n\nCONTENTS.\n\n\n PAGE\n\n PREFACE ix\n\n INTRODUCTION xxv\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n MY REASONS FOR BECOMING A SISTER 1\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n CONVENT LIFE ENTERED UPON 17\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n THE VOW OF POVERTY 28\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n THE VOW OF CHASTITY 34\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n THE VOW OF OBEDIENCE 42\n\n CHAPTER VI.\n\n THE DAWN OF SPIRITUAL LIGHT 49\n\n CHAPTER VII.\n\n LIFE AT FELTHAM CONVENT 57\n\n CHAPTER VIII.\n\n CONVENT LIFE AT SLAPTON, IN DEVONSHIRE 64\n\n CHAPTER IX.\n\n CONVENT LIFE AT LLANTHONY 79\n\n CHAPTER X.\n\n DAILY ROUTINE AT LLANTHONY 108\n\n CHAPTER XI.\n\n ILL-TREATMENT OF CHILDREN 115\n\n CHAPTER XII.\n\n SOME OF THE LLANTHONY RULES, WITH ACCOMPANYING PENANCES 121\n\n CHAPTER XIII.\n\n OF WHAT RELIGION IS FATHER IGNATIUS? 128\n\n CHAPTER XIV.\n\n MY DEPARTURE FROM LLANTHONY 136\n\n CHAPTER XV.\n\n AT LLANTHONY AGAIN 146\n\n CHAPTER XVI.\n\n APPARITIONS AND MIRACLES 158\n\n CHAPTER XVII.\n\n LIBERTY 176\n\n APPENDIX _A_ 193\n\n \u201d _B_ 197\n\n \u201d _C_ 199\n\n\n\n\nPREFACE.\n\n\nIn the summer of last year (1889), I first heard of the authoress of this\nautobiography: not accidentally, as some might put it, but rather by the\ngood providence of Jehovah, who \u201cworketh all things after the counsel of\nHis own will.\u201d\n\nEx-sister Mary Agnes, or Miss J. M. Povey, had been attending one of Mrs.\nEdith O\u2019Gorman Auffray\u2019s (better known as \u201cThe Escaped Nun\u201d) lectures\nat the Town Hall, Kensington, and after the lecture she obtained an\ninterview with the lecturess, during which she gave her a short account\nof her own experiences in convents nominally connected with the Church of\nEngland. The following day I happened to meet Mrs. Auffray, who passed on\nto me what Miss Povey had told her. I at once made up my mind to request\nthis lady, if possible, to publish her experiences, and I wrote a letter\nto her offering any assistance in my power, if she entertained the idea\nof making her experiences more widely known.\n\nI should have mentioned that Mrs. Auffray had recommended Miss Povey to\ncommunicate with me, and had urged upon her the importance of bearing\nwitness to the merciful deliverance God had vouchsafed to her.\n\nI feel bound, therefore, to express to Mrs. Auffray my thanks for the\ngood advice she gave Miss Povey; and let me say here that though perhaps\nno woman has been more vilified, and persecuted, by the Roman Catholics,\nand I fear too by many Ritualists and weak, half-hearted Protestants,\nthan has Mrs. Auffray, yet no woman has been more blessed by God in\nexposing the errors of Romanism. To my mind, it is as easy to prove the\nperfect veracity of Mrs. Auffray\u2019s story, told with such power, as it is\nto prove that once Queen Elizabeth reigned in England, or that the Duke\nof Wellington led his soldiers to victory when the battle of Waterloo was\nfought. I had not long to wait before receiving from Miss Povey a small\nportion of her manuscript; and, being struck with the unaffected style,\nand genuine appearance of the story thus commenced, I consented at her\nrequest to correct and revise, or, in one word, to edit, the whole of the\nmaterial she might feel disposed to place in my hands.\n\nI need hardly say, considering the many other engagements devolving upon\nthe vicar of a parish of 20,000 people, that I have been obliged to make\na somewhat slow progress with the work, short though it may appear, and\nwhen I had come to the close of it, I could not but feel that the book\nwas worthy of an editor who could have devoted more time, attention and\ntalent to it, than it was within my reach to do.\n\nI would acknowledge here, with a feeling of deep gratitude, the\nassistance given me towards the close of my editorial duties, in\nconnection with the book, by a gentleman whose name I am not at liberty\nto divulge. This gentleman introduced the manuscript to the publishers,\nand he has most kindly cast his eye carefully over the whole work,\ncorrecting or rescinding where he thought it advisable. Perhaps there are\nfew men in England who know more than he does on the subject of English\nsisterhoods. He has lectured with ability on the subject, and is likely\nto become ere long a well-known writer. Since I made him acquainted with\nthe work I was editing, and had had some conversation with him upon these\nmatters, I only wished he had taken my place as editor.\n\nI think that those who read through this book will readily acknowledge\nthat Miss Povey has done her work well, and I feel sure she will receive\nthe hearty congratulations of a great number of persons. She has been\nobliged to write under some considerable disadvantages, arising from the\nnature of her employment, which does not allow a very wide margin of time\nfor writing; consequently, as she reminded me, she has had no time to\nlook over and correct what force of circumstances compelled her to write\nsomewhat hurriedly.\n\n\u201cI shall be much obliged,\u201d she has written to me, \u201cfor any improvement\nyou think fit to make, in correcting, revising, rescinding, in all the\nmanuscript.\u201d Any excellence that may be found in the book must be wholly\ndue to the authoress; none could have written in the forcible and graphic\nway she has done, who had not herself passed through so strange and\npainful an experience.\n\nI have only had one interview with Miss Povey, and _that_ when the book\nwas well nigh finished. But before then I took great pains to find out\nthe thorough trustworthiness of her antecedents and statements. God\nforbid that I should ever venture to send before the public a work of\nsuch deep import, were I not perfectly convinced that ex-sister Mary\nAgnes was in a position to write, and actually was writing, the truth,\nthe whole truth, and nothing but the truth.\n\nI have by me a letter written by the Mother Abbess of the Feltham\nconvent, to the lady in whose employment Miss Povey is now living,\ngiving her, as will be acknowledged by all, a very high character for\ntruthfulness and uprightness.\n\n THE CONVENT, FELTHAM,\n _Sept. 14th, 1887_.\n\n DEAR MADAM,\u2014\n\n Miss J. M. Povey lived in my house for ten years, and I knew of\n her before and since.\n\n She bears, and has always borne, the highest moral character;\n all her relations are highly respectable people. She is\n thoroughly conscientious and trustworthy, clever and observant,\n and speaks well. She is a good needlewoman, and I should think\n quite capable of undertaking what you require of her, and is\n one who would do her work quite as well in your absence as if\n you were at home superintending her.\n\n She is _quite above_ the ordinary station of domestic servants.\n There is no mystery in her life.\n\n I am, dear Madam, yours truly,\n\n MARY HILDA.\n\nMiss Povey has also received the two following letters from the same\nlady:\u2014\n\n THE CONVENT, FELTHAM,\n _Feb. 15th, 1886_.\n\n POOR DEAR CHILD,\u2014\n\n I am not in the least surprised at your leaving, and I pity you\n much for several reasons.\n\n MARY HILDA.\n\n THE CONVENT, FELTHAM,\n _Feb. 20th, 1886_.\n\n DEAREST CHILD,\u2014\n\n However good F. Ignatius may be (and he has much goodness), I\n never thought he had much tact; but that he could be so utterly\n devoid of it as to tell M. Wereburgh that you knew about\n her history after leaving here first time, I could not have\n imagined. Of course, knowing her as I did, I can but feel sure\n that she was anxious for you to leave, lest you should hint it\n to others. I am, as I have said, very sorry for you, and hope\n you will not stay in the world.\n\n Your always sincere friend, and affectionate Sp. Mother,\n\n MARY HILDA, M. Sup.\n\nI have ample testimony to the truth of her statement, \u201c_Seventeen_ Years\nwith Father Ignatius,\u201d since I am able to give the following extract from\na letter written by \u201cIgnatius\u201d himself to Sister Mary Agnes, soon after\nshe had left the convent:\u2014\n\n JESUS \u2020 ONLY.\n\n PAX.\n\n LLANTHONY ABBEY,\n _Dec. 30th, 1884_.\n\n MY DEAREST CHILD,\u2014\n\n \u2026 You have profited nothing from all my teaching and patience\n of nearly seventeen years: you cannot imagine the grief you\n have given me.\n\n I have no time for more. I shall always pray for you, and love\n you, and you must think of me as always\n\n Your affectionate, but disappointed Father,\n\n IGNATIUS, O.S.B.\n\nMost of the readers of this book will probably know the meaning of the\nletters \u201cO.S.B.\u201d They mean the \u201cOrder of St. Benedict.\u201d Now, although\nSister Mary Agnes never became what is called in conventual phraseology\na \u201c_professed_\u201d nun in that Order, that is to say, she never \u201ctook the\nblack veil,\u201d yet for all these years she was a _novice nun_, and was\nalways looked upon and called a _nun_.\n\nIn a letter Father Ignatius wrote to her in the year 1879, whilst she was\nin the convent, this sentence occurs: \u201cYou are really a little _nun_\u201d;\nand again: \u201cIf I find you really grown in a nun-like spirit, I really\nhope we may fix (D.V.) your profession, say, this year.\u201d\n\nI might very easily add more to prove that this simple story of seventeen\nyears of convent life is not a fabricated one, but the evidence I have\nproduced, out of a mass which I have at my disposal, will surely be\nenough.\n\nMiss Povey has decided to make known her life as a nun, in order that\nothers may take warning, and profit by her experiences. No young lady who\nmay become acquainted with this book can ever say, should she be deluded\ninto taking the veil, that she took that terrible leap, as I fear many do\ntake it, in the dark.\n\nConvents, or sisterhoods, in connection with the Church of England, are\nby no means few and far between, and it is to be hoped that this book\nwill bring conviction to many of the transparent fact, that the teaching\nand practices within their walls are not so widely different from the\nsame within the walls of Roman Catholic convents.\n\nI hope that Miss Povey\u2019s work may do good in making known the danger of\nbeing misled by the _apparently_ pure evangelical teaching which Father\nIgnatius is said to give. Now, it seems to me, that here in this book\nwe have the means of subjecting this specious-looking metal to a severe\ntest. His so-called Gospel sermons and orations contain some good metal\nwith which the counterfeit coin is covered and made to pass as genuine.\n\nIt is an incumbent duty to let her revelations be known far and wide, so\nthat souls be not led astray.\n\nIs there not a cause? Consider it, I beg of you, who may read this book.\nRemember that with scarcely an exception (I don\u2019t think the infallibility\nof the Pope is acknowledged in these convents) every Roman Catholic\ntenet is unblushingly held and taught in the three convents which this\nbook refers to. Roman Catholic literature of the most advanced type is\nconstantly used in them.\n\nAnother advantage that I hope and feel sure will arise from studying\nthis little book, will be found in the remarkably clear definition Miss\nPovey has been enabled to give of the three celebrated and essentially\nRomish _vows_ of poverty, chastity, and obedience. These self-same vows\nare just now being spoken of a good deal, and many are telling us that\nthey are to be an essential element in the new brotherhoods which the\nBishop of Rochester has so lately, in the Upper House of Convocation\nand in his Triennial Charge, advocated. I cannot but hope that God has\nraised up, at a most opportune moment, a witness against the imposition\nof such vows, whether on men or women. I hope it may lead those who\nare favourable to the scheme to favour it no more. Is it not palpable\nto all that just as sisterhoods are made the secret repositories of\nextreme Romish education, practices, and literature, so likewise will\nbrotherhoods be made to serve a similar purpose?\n\nWe are certainly living in \u201cperilous times,\u201d and it is amazing to behold\nthe spirit of indifference in quarters where we might least expect it,\nnot only with regard to the great strides Ritualism is making, so that\nProtestant Evangelicalism is well nigh eclipsed, but this indifference\nis as great with regard to the advance of Romanism and Jesuitism,[1] and\n(saddest result of all) to the building of so many hundreds of Roman\nCatholic convents and monasteries in the United Kingdom.\n\nThere are in existence societies for the prevention of cruelty to\nchildren, and for the prevention of cruelty to animals; but although the\ncruelties and tortures, called penances, which are inflicted on many\na poor helpless nun are greater than those inflicted on animals, the\nman who raises up his voice against this worst form of inhumanity is\ncounted unloving and bigoted. Believe me, the unloving ones are those\nwho lend any countenance whatever to, or who do not make a righteous\nprotest against, the conventual and monastic _system_, according to which\ndisciplines, hair-shirts, scourgings, and various other forms of cruelty\nand degradation are employed.\n\nDo we not see that, if this system is allowed to advance in the Church\nof England, these very penances (many of which _do_ exist, all of which\n_may_ exist, in the Church of England convents), which, without any\ndoubt, exist in Romish convents, will be inflicted with equal severity in\nEnglish Church convents.\n\nSister Mary Agnes does not speak of prison-like underground cells in\nFather Ignatius\u2019s convents, and we believe, therefore, that anyhow at\npresent they do not exist in them. But she does speak of penances, and\nshe has felt them.\n\nIn bringing my Preface to a close, I will give a statement with regard\nto the Church of England convent in Woodstock Road, in the City of\nOxford, founded by the late Dr. Pusey. This statement has been made by a\nclergyman of the Established Church, who is perfectly prepared, if need\nbe, to give his name.\n\n In the summer of 1866, I was travelling from Oxford to London,\n and there happened to be in the same railway carriage one of\n the leading tradesmen in the city of Oxford.\n\n Our conversation turned upon the advances which Romanism was\n apparently making in the United Kingdom, and conspicuously by\n the influence of a certain section now well known as Ritualists\n in our own Church.\n\n He asked me if I had noticed a building which was being erected\n in \u201cThe Parks\u201d (Oxford), and whether I was aware that owing to\n a clause in the lease of the ground, and some complications\n arising therefrom, the owners of the edifice had determined\n even, if necessary, to surrender the lease, and transfer the\n materials to a freehold site in another part of the city? I\n remarked that such a course looked suspicious, made my own\n comments on it, and, when opportunity offered, acted.\n\n During a stay in Oxford a few days subsequently, I went one\n afternoon to see for myself, and on coming to the building,\n asked the clerk of the works, or foreman, if I might look round\n it. Having done so, I found the fabric almost completed, but\n was struck by an apparent loss of space owing to the height of\n the walls from the ground, without any ostensible object. I\n observed a small door, directly underneath the main entrance,\n and on examination found it padlocked, but seeing that the\n staple was not clenched, I removed it with the point of my\n umbrella, and thus gained entrance to what proved to be a long\n corridor, right and left of which _cells_ were erected, but not\n completed.\n\n As rapidly as I could I took a general survey of the whole\n arrangements, replaced the staple and padlock, and before\n leaving expressed my best thanks to the foreman, who was\n engaged with some workmen in a shed at the entrance to the\n premises, erected quite apart from the building.\n\n I then talked with him about the peculiar construction of the\n building, and asked him why the walls were built so as to\n leave a great space between the foundations and first floor.\n He stated that this was for _the purpose of ventilation_\n only. I then remarked that it was unusual to see buildings so\n constructed, and then I said, \u201cWas that all?\u201d He volunteered\n the statement that there was nothing in this space underneath\n the fabric but the external walls. Happening to know\n differently, I drew my own conclusions, and left.\u2014(Signed) \u2e3a.\n\nFinally, let us hope that God\u2019s people throughout England will make it\na matter of daily intercession to the throne of Grace that convents,\nwhether Anglican or Roman Catholic, may be utterly abolished. I\nsincerely trust that this book will be read as a witness of what God\u2019s\ngood providence and sovereign grace have done for the writer of this\ninteresting narrative, and therefore can do for others. May the Spirit\nof the living God that opened the eyes of Sister Mary Agnes, be poured\nout abundantly to open the eyes of many in this land, who are sitting\nin darkness and the shadow of death. And may they be led, by the same\nSpirit, through the one only Mediator between God and man, even Jesus\nChrist, to obtain fellowship with the Father, together with all other\nspiritual blessings in Christ Jesus, \u201caccording as God hath chosen us\nin Him before the foundation of the world.\u201d And, finally, may He also\nenable them to \u201cstand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made them\nfree.\u201d\n\n W. LANCELOT HOLLAND.\n\n ALL SAINTS\u2019 VICARAGE,\n HATCHAM PARK, S.E.,\n _February, 1890_.\n\n\n\n\nINTRODUCTION.\n\n\nIn sending forth this book to the world, I would have it clearly\nunderstood that it is not my desire to injure any one. I only wish that\n_the mistakes of my life_ may prove a warning to others and prevent them\nfrom taking the step I did. I feel it to be a solemn duty, which I owe to\nGod, to put before the public convent life in the Church of England, as I\nfound it.\n\nNaturally I shrink from the task, for the Mother of the Feltham convent\nhas always acted, as far as my experience goes, conscientiously, and it\nwas in no way on her account that I felt bound to withdraw from convent\nlife. Besides Father Ignatius himself _once_ seemed to love me as his\n\u201clittle daughter,\u201d and was exceedingly kind to me. Let it be remembered\nthat I was _then_ but a child and a very simple and inexperienced one.\n\nIn one sense, it is not against him personally that I am writing, yet,\nin another, it is, because he was head over all, added to which, he\nmade a personal application to my mother to give me up to him for God\u2019s\nservice, and thus he was responsible for seeing that my life was made at\nleast endurable; instead of which, he gave me up entirely into the hands\nof a certain Mother Superior, who (I would speak the truth in love) was a\nzealous and tyrannical woman.\n\nBelieving it, then, to be my duty, I now take up my pen, and may\nGod guide it, so that, in His hands, it may be the means of saving\nyoung girls and women, and young men and boys, from inflicting on\ntheir relatives the bitter pain and sorrow which I caused my own dear\nmother and friends. May many by this warning be saved from the bitter\ndisappointment which was my lot, when I found convent life _so_ different\nin practice and reality from what in theory and fancy it seemed to be.\nInstead of it being the \u201cGate of Heaven,\u201d as it is sometimes said to be,\nmy experience was that it is much nearer another gate.\n\nI feel convinced too that, if the truth could only be got at, it would\nbe discovered that my experience was not an exceptional one. I have heard\nthat it was St. Chrysostom who said, \u201cA monk, by the very nature of the\nlife he leads, is either an angel or a devil,\u201d and I seldom, if ever,\nknew a monk or boy, a girl or woman, who, sooner or later, did not turn\ninto something which was far removed from that which is angelic, though\nat their entrance into that name of \u201cPax,\u201d they were, to all appearances,\n\u201cperfect saints.\u201d\n\nInstead of being ennobled by the monastic and conventual life, my\nexperience has been (and I have had an experience of some seventeen\nyears, and have come in contact with a goodly number of persons living\nunder vows) that the life is far from having an ennobling influence.\nLife of this kind generally causes those who lead it to become mean,\npetty, and selfish, and no selfishness can equal a nun\u2019s, particularly\nwhen nature inclines her to be so.[2] Nuns are either crushed slaves\n_or tyrants_, and often so puffed up with pride that they look upon\n\u201cseculars\u201d as a race of beings far below themselves, and who, as the Lady\nPrioress Wereburgh used to say to us, \u201cshould think themselves highly\nhonoured to have the privilege of a nun condescending to speak to them.\u201d\n\nI would ask all who read this story to overlook the lack of style and\norder which may be apparent, but I am now very much occupied in earning\nmy bread, and can only give a few night-hours occasionally to the task,\nand I have never been accustomed to work of this kind.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER I.\n\n_MY REASONS FOR BECOMING A SISTER._\n\n\nFrom the earliest time that my memory goes back, I loved Jesus, though I\nknew very little about Him\u2014only what my dear mother taught me, and she\nwas what is termed a \u201cshy Christian.\u201d But I often wished that people\nwould talk more about Him, at least to me; and as a little girl I used to\nlook at people, and wish they would speak to me of Jesus, though I was\ntoo timid to put my thoughts into words.\n\nWhen I was about fourteen years of age, in the year 1868, there was a\ngreat stir about a new preacher who preached at several city churches,\nincluding St Edmund\u2019s, Lombard Street, and St. Ethelburga\u2019s, Bishopsgate.\nHis name was Father Ignatius; he was a Church of England clergyman, and\ncalled himself a monk. At that period I happened to be on a visit to my\naunt, and my sister wrote and told me that Father Ignatius preached\nmonasticism, that he had a monastery and would soon open a convent. I\nremember how I thought everybody was turning to Roman Catholicism; and I\nmade up my mind not to go near this strange man. So at first I would not\ngo to hear him, though somehow I was very anxious to see him. At last\nmy mother persuaded me to go, and I heard him preach the love of Jesus\nas I had never before heard it. I recollect how my mother presented me\nto him, and how he took my hand, and said, \u201cGod bless you, dear child!\u201d\nThough he said neither more nor less I was won, and from that moment I\nfelt compelled to dwell on all his doings, and to drink in his words.\nWhat extraordinary power, or _mesmerism_, is it that this man possesses,\nenabling him to exert such an influence, not only over a simple child,\nbut also over young and old, man and woman, noble and peasant? How often\nhave I asked myself this question, yet in the course of twenty years I\nhave not solved the mystery! But does he retain the friendship of those\nhe wins? For a short time he does, but as a rule they eventually turn\naway from him, and sometimes even become his greatest enemies; for he\npossesses a strange power not only of winning love, but also of casting\nit away from him when won.\n\nBut I have somewhat departed from my story, which I will now resume. I\nremember being in church one evening, and we sang the words:\n\n The love of Jesus, what it is\n None but His loved ones know.\n\nI thought to myself, \u201cWho are His loved ones?\u201d Day after day I went about\nwondering who they were. I would look into every face I met, but the love\nof Jesus did not seem to me stamped there; yet I was determined to find\nout, for, I said to myself, \u201cI _must_ be His loved one!\u201d At last I saw a\ngentle, pale-faced sister; and she looked so good and pure (my favourite\ntext was, \u201cBlessed are the pure in heart\u201d) that a sudden thought flashed\ninto my mind that it was these sisters, or nuns, who were the \u201cloved\nones,\u201d and that therefore I must be a sister. But I was not bold enough\nto tell any one my thoughts, besides which I thought I was very much too\nyoung to be a nun. I recollect that just at this time I went to some\nprivate meetings,[3] held by certain sisters, and one of them asked me,\non one of these occasions, \u201cShould you like to be a sister?\u201d My heart\njumped on hearing the question, and I replied, \u201cYes.\u201d No more was said\nthen; but when I again went, Father Ignatius asked me the same question,\nand I made the same reply as before. He then told me to ask my mother to\nallow me to be \u201c_given to God_\u201d as a nun. Of course my mother would not\nhear of it, and only laughed at me, and called me \u201ca goose to want to\nshut myself away from mother and everybody.\u201d The idea, however, had so\ntaken possession of me, that I begged over and over again to be allowed\nto go; but my mother would not give her consent. Every time Father\nIgnatius saw me he asked if I had obtained my mother\u2019s consent, and I was\nobliged to say \u201cNo.\u201d One day, I remember, he said to me, \u201cWell, ask your\nmother to let you _go for a month on a visit_!\u201d I dared not ask her for a\nmonth, knowing she would not grant me so long a time, so I asked her to\nlet me go for a week, and after considering my request for two days, she\ntold me I might go for a week. I therefore went for that period. I was\nfifteen years of age then; and the convent was at Feltham, where I stayed\nfor ten years. But before the week had expired, I asked for another week,\nsaying I was so happy in this new life. To my request she made answer,\n\u201cAnother week, but not a day over.\u201d During this week the Father called\nupon my mother, and persuaded her to \u201cgive me to God.\u201d Very reluctantly\nshe gave her consent, as she told me, \u201cfor one year, to sicken you of\nit, and you will soon be glad to come back home to your mother.\u201d No one\nbut God ever knew for years after how I longed to get back to my mother,\nthough I dared not allow it even to myself. When my mother gave me up,\nshe had Father Ignatius\u2019s promise not to let me take life-vows until I\nwas twenty-one or twenty-five years of age.\n\nThe first year passed away very happily. I was young; and being small in\nstature, I was made a pet of, until another young sister came. Then the\nMother changed, and she who had so petted me suddenly took a dislike to\nme; not that she was so very unkind. But how I yearned to be loved! No\none seemed to love me, and I loved her, oh, so much! When I went up to\nher and said, \u201cMother, dear,\u201d instead of opening her arms, and folding\nme in them as she used to do, she would turn away with a shudder. Why\nshe did this, I never knew. I could not fail to feel surprise at it,\nas she had often taught me that \u201ca spiritual father\u2019s, and mother\u2019s,\nand sister\u2019s love is far greater than that of any earthly parents.\u201d I\nwas sure my mother would never thus turn away from me. Oh, how keenly\nI felt this coldness! and when I went to bed, I would cry and sob for\nhours, knowing that no one in that house loved me, and my heart seemed\nfit to break at such a loveless life. My mother\u2019s smile, her words, and\nher every look and action, would rise up before me. I remembered my\nsister and dear little brother, both of whom I so fondly loved, and I\nwould think, \u201cOh! if it was not wicked of me, I wish I was home\u201d; but\nI would then blame myself for thinking thus, for I considered it showed\nunfaithfulness to God to allow such thoughts even for a moment, and I was\nafraid lest God should take my \u201choly vocation\u201d from me, and I would also\nremember how God would have His spouse forsake all other love that she\nmay love Him, and be His alone.\n\nWas there ever a more cruel and bitter mistake? Cruel is the teaching\nwhich requires a young girl to separate herself from the dear good\nmother, whom God has given her, in order that she may, as is falsely\nsaid, serve God without hindrance. What folly and delusion is it that\ntakes possession of us, to think that we can get nearer to God, be more\npure, more holy in this life, and be brought to greater glory in the next\nlife, by shutting oneself up in a particular house and never going out\nexcept to the garden, I cannot fathom!\n\nListen to the text which brings us up to this unnatural life, or, as we\nwere told, this \u201csupernatural life.\u201d \u201cA garden inclosed is My sister,\nMy spouse; a spring shut up,\u201d etc. Year after year this text bears us\nup, coupled with the thought that such a life is only a short time in\ncomparison with eternity, when we shall reap the great reward of our life\nof self-sacrifice. Blinder than the very heathen was I!\n\nSometimes I would stand and look around that small enclosure and think,\n\u201cShall I never in this life go farther than this garden surrounded with\ntrees?\u201d Often my brain seemed to turn at the very thought. If only I\ncould have seen a great space, or a great sea, it would be better; but\nthere were those trees in a flat country, and nothing beyond (a true type\nindeed). But then I would come back to my text, as above quoted, and\nthink that as God is pleased with me, nothing else is of consequence. So\nI went on year after year, anything but happy, yet not _daring_ to let\nmyself think of turning back. Often did I LONG to speak of mother and of\nthe dear ones at home, but I could not without breaking the rule, \u201cnever\nto speak of our earthly relations except to God in prayer.\u201d If we broke\nthis rule, we had to confess it the same day, and perform the prescribed\npenance of losing the hour\u2019s recreation, do some menial work, and keep\nsilence during the only hour we had set apart for conversation.\n\nAt the end of my first year my mother wrote to Father Ignatius demanding\nme back. She wrote to me at the same time, telling me she was coming\nto fetch me; but the Father gave me no advice on the subject, and I\ncould have gone back as far as consent from my superiors went. At that\ntime they gave me my mother\u2019s letter, which of course they had read\n(all letters are read by the Mother first); but what about the teaching\nand instruction that had gone before? What about the awful words I had\nheard that, \u201cshould I ever even look back, I should then be unmeet for\nthe kingdom of God\u201d? What about the example of Lot\u2019s wife, so often set\nbefore us? She only _looked_ back, and how terrible the _immediate_\nresult! What would happen (I thought) to one espoused to Christ, if she\nnot only looked back, but deliberately turned from the \u201cpath that leads\nto life,\u201d as we were instructed? Not even for one second did I _dare_ to\nallow myself to think it. I would not go back, and did not.\n\nMy mother waited another year, and came this time to the convent without\nwriting, so that I might not be influenced beforehand. Oh! mothers,\nlittle do you know the influence that is always at work: and yet your\nchildren dare not even wish to tell you, for it would be a terrible sin\nto tell even you anything about that influence,\u2014it would be a grave\nscandal to do so. But it is equally a great sin to hide anything from\nour _Superior_; we are distinctly told never to conceal anything, not\neven our most secret thoughts, from our Superior. Should we have a great\ntemptation to leave the life we had entered on, or any great temptation\nto rebel against convent rules, we were expressly told to make it known\nat once, that we might have the benefit of our Superior\u2019s advice.\nRemember, too, that self-examination comes three times a day!\n\nOne morning, at the Communion, the Father suddenly turned round, saying:\n\n\u201cIf any sister in this chapel has one single unfaithful thought of going\nback to the world, _I dare_ her to come to this altar, and touch with her\nlips the sacred Body and Blood of her God. \u2018Woe be to him through whom\nthe offence cometh!\u2019\u201d\n\nWe were all startled, and I said,\u201cLord, is it I?\u201d But it was not me,\nfor I would rather have suffered torture than commit so great a sin. A\ncertain lay-sister stayed behind at that time, and I asked her, when the\nnext opportunity offered itself to me, if she had thoughts of looking\nback? She replied:\n\n\u201cI told the reverend Father last night, I thought I ought to go home to\nmy father to keep house for him, as my mother was dead.\u201d\n\nThe reader will perceive that though we were not shut in by literal bolts\nand bars, we were bound by something very, very much more effectual\u2014even\nby the nameless and unexplainable fear of being guilty of the _terrible\nsin_ of going back to the world. How fearfully real and effectual is this\nfeeling!\n\nMy mother and sister then came to fetch me, and I was sent alone into the\nparlour, that they might see how little I was _apparently_ influenced by\nany outside pressure, and that I might tell them that I had a wish of\nmy own free will to remain in the convent. At this interview, some one,\nunknown to my mother, was, of course, within earshot, according to rule;\nbut I did not fear that, for I had no intention of going back, and thus\nlosing the virgin\u2019s crown in heaven, which I so much coveted, and which\ncould only be obtained, as I then supposed, by remaining true to my holy\ncalling. My sister was evidently exercising great self-restraint at this\ninterview, and could scarcely refrain from weeping; my own mother sobbed,\nand my heart was wrung, and yet I dared not think of going home. Almost\nchoking with emotion, and stretching out my arms and folding them around\nmy mother\u2019s neck, I gasped:\n\n\u201cMother, darling, I DO love you; but I belong to God, and I _dare_ not go\nback.\u201d\n\nTears blind me, even now while I write, as I think of that _awful_\nstruggle, which I had been taught was right and pleasing to God. At last\nmy mother was able to speak, and she said:\n\n\u201cThis is the second time I have tried to get you away, and you refuse\nto come. Now, mind, I shall never come to see you again, or write to\nyou, but you will live to repent the day you ever shut yourself up in a\nconvent, and remember that I will have nothing more to do with you while\nyou are here; but if ever you should want a home, while I have one, it is\nyours also.\u201d\n\nShe went on to say:\n\n\u201cFather Ignatius will get tired of you some day, then what will you do if\nyour mother is no more?\u201d\n\nMy reply was (remembering what a great pet he made of me, and also how I\nhad read and been told that \u201cthe love of spiritual parents was so much\nstronger than that of any earthly parent\u201d):\n\n\u201cYou are, dear mother, very kind; but I am sure the reverend Father will\nnever change.\u201d\n\nAnd so I truly thought.\n\nThis wrench from all home-ties well nigh broke my heart; yet I dared not\neven think of leaving the convent, though in my heart of hearts I deeply\nwished I had never taken up that \u201cgolden plough.\u201d Ah! had I only not\ntaken it up, there would have been no sin in wishing for home again; but\nnow it was far different, for it seemed to me, at the time, that in God\u2019s\ngreat goodness the path had been shown to me down which I must walk, and\nthat I must with determination choose the good, and cast aside every\nthought of returning to the world. And so I chose what I had been taught\nwas the good, and no one until now knows the bitter struggle I passed\nthrough. How often did I recall this day, or rather I could not drive it\nfrom my memory whilst sleeping or waking! It often drove sleep from my\neyes, and my constant thought was, \u201cIf only I could put my arms round my\nmother\u2019s neck, and kiss her just once more!\u201d\n\nAt last all was arranged for me to take the black veil, and I even had\norders to write for my mother to come and see this imposing ceremony, as\nit is really a novice\u2019s entire _death_ to the world, and we are allowed\nto see our nearest relative before we die. I was told I might go into the\nvisitor\u2019s room to see my mother if she came; but though my Superior said\nit was _lawful_ to see her, yet she _advised me not to go_, as it might\nprove a cause of great distraction. When I was first told I might go into\nthe room where my mother was to come, my heart leaped for joy. \u201cNow,\u201d I\nthought, \u201cI shall be able to kiss her once again.\u201d But then I remembered\nall the advice I had been given, and I wanted to be \u201cperfect\u201d; so, for\nthe love of Jesus, as _I thought_, I gave up the privilege and joy of\nkissing my own dear mother!\n\nAs a rule, we only saw friends behind the grille, with a third person,\nwho must be a professed nun, to listen and report us should we make a\nslip in our conversation, or scandalize a secular by repeating anything\nthat should not be told.\n\nHowever, after all, my taking the black veil and thus becoming a\nprofessed nun was put off, as the superiors could not agree as to what\nplace I was to take in the community. The reverend Mother wished me to\nkeep where I was\u2014the reverend Father wished me to be raised above six\nor seven who were older, and had been professed some years back. Since\nneither would waive their wishes, I had to wait, and consequently, I\nnever took the black veil, or _life_-vows, and _never_ saw my mother\nagain, as when I left convent life she was not alive.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER II.\n\n_CONVENT LIFE ENTERED UPON._\n\n\nIn the beginning of November, 1868, I went on a short visit to the\n\u201cBenedictine convent of cloistered nuns,\u201d at Feltham. Father Ignatius,\nwho claims to be the father, founder, and reviver of monasticism in the\nChurch of England, had turned an old farm-house at Feltham into a convent.\n\nThe \u201crule\u201d given to the nuns by him can be procured at any Roman Catholic\npublishers. It is entitled \u201cThe Holy Rule of St. Benedict, translated by\na Priest of Mount Melleray.\u201d There are other translations of the rule,\nbut this one is much more strict than any other which I have read.\n\nAfter a time Father Ignatius gave us forty-nine observances to keep.\nThese were really much stricter than the rule itself, and they were to\nbe read every day, and the least transgression had to be written down\nand sent in to our Superior at the close of each week, in addition to\nthe usual confession to a priest. The Feltham Mother never wished us to\nmake a confession to her, though the Mother at Llanthony insisted upon\neverything being disclosed to her.\n\nTo these forty-nine observances, later on, were added about forty-nine\nmore, so that we were hedged all round by them, sleeping or waking.\nTransgressions of these observances were \u201cconvent sins.\u201d I have already\nrelated how my visit for a week was soon lengthened out, and I will not\nparticularize those first and early experiences.\n\nIt was in February, 1869, that I was received into Feltham convent as a\npostulant. There is a form to go through when a postulant is received.\nThe Superior asks:\n\n What dost thou desire of us?\n\n _Postulant._\u2014To be admitted into the house of God.\n\n _Superior._\u2014None can enter our gates but such as seek to be the\n spouse of the Lamb.\n\n _Postulant._\u2014I postulate for the habit of the heavenly\n espousals in the Holy Order of St. Benedict.\n\n _Superior._\u2014Dost thou promise to obey the rules?\n\n _Postulant._\u2014I do.\n\nAfter a few more questions and answers, I was properly made a postulant,\nand thought myself at heaven\u2019s gate.\n\nOn April 13th, two months after my reception as a postulant, I took, as\na novice, the three conventual vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.\nI would remind those of my readers who may be ignorant of these things,\nthat whilst the vow of obedience is put last in order, yet it is of\nthe first importance. I remember well the day I took these vows. I was\nattired in white, and wore a bridal veil and wreath. I recollect that\nanother girl (Florence S\u2e3a by name) stood with me\u2014I should rather say\nknelt. Together we waited to sacrifice ourselves upon the altar of\nGod,\u2014not by the sacrificial knife, that would be but the work of a few\nseconds\u2014but by the daily and hourly sacrifice of everything that we loved.\n\nWhen some of the difficulties and trials of my new life were set before\nme, I had no fears. I was in a state of high joy at the thought which\nhad been burnt into my soul, viz., that I was espoused to the King of\nkings, and that I was the Lamb\u2019s bride now and for ever. How could fear\nruffle my spirit whilst under this spell? Besides, how should a girl of\nmy age (I was but fifteen at this time) have any notion of what sorrow,\nand trial, and trouble meant, especially, as was the case with me, when\nan affectionate mother had lovingly and carefully concealed from me any\nevils that might come in after years?\n\nThe anticipation of any evil in the future seemed, however, to fade\ninto insignificance, since I was uplifted above terrestrial things by\u2014I\nreally know not how best to describe it\u2014by the thought of Him whom I\nregarded as my heavenly Lover. Never did any girl or woman love her\nlover or her husband more than I did the Lord Jesus Christ, whose bride\nI _thought_ myself to be, _because_ I had taken those three vows of\npoverty, chastity, and obedience. I sometimes felt as if I must die; so\noverpowered was I with love that I could scarcely breathe.\n\nOften since that time have I asked myself, \u201cWhat was it that I so\nloved?\u201d If it had been the love of the heavenly Bridegroom, that seemed\nas it were to saturate me, would that sister who knelt at my side on\nthis occasion have been permitted in after years to make my life such\na misery to me, that I could no longer live a cloistered life? What or\nwho it was I know not; all I know is that whoever or whatever it was,\nit obtained possession of my first love\u2014the undivided love of my whole\nbeing; but that love is gone, and I do not think I could ever love\nwith the same full, pure, and intense love again. That love, fixed on\na lover existing only in the imagination, and impressed on my plastic\nand youthful mind, carried me through a convent experience lasting for\nseventeen years. And then it vanished. The illusion was dissipated, the\n_ignis fatuus_ was quenched, and I was left alone in my misery, and it\nseemed, for a time, that nowhere could I find the loved one for whom\neverything and every one had been sacrificed; but better for me was this\nmisery than that fool\u2019s paradise.\n\nBut I must return to my story, after this digression, which, however, I\nhope many youthful readers may peruse and take warning from. My companion\nand I knelt, as I have mentioned; and thus, upon our knees, we waited for\nthe august ceremony attending ever this mock marriage. All heaven seemed\nto open, and all of earth seemed to be passing away. I recollect that,\nafter many questions had been put to, and responses made by us, and when\nsweet words, set to sweeter music, had been sung, there reached our ears\nsome such words as these:\n\n The Bridegroom would have His bride leave father, mother,\n houses, lands, and all earthly loves, in order that, as the\n apostle saith, she may be one spirit with Him. My daughter,\n canst thou do this?\n\nTo this we made reply severally:\n\n In His strength I leave all, that I may follow Christ.\n\nThen the reverend Father uttered these words:\n\n _Beware_, my daughter, before putting thy hand to the golden\n plough, for _cursed_ shalt thou be if perchance thou lookest\n back.\n\nTo which the novice then replied:\n\n I should then be unfit for the kingdom of God,\n\nand repeated the words of Scripture:\n\n When any one voweth a vow unto the Lord, he shall do all that\n proceedeth out of his mouth (Num. xxx. 2);[4]\n\nand again we quoted Ecclesiastes v. 4.\n\nAfter which there was sung in sweetest music, three times over:\n\n To obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat\n of rams: promise unto the Lord your God, and keep it.\n\nI truly imagined that I was vowing to the Lord; and I had heard that God\nwas love, and that therefore it must be sweet to obey His voice, and so I\nwillingly vowed unto the Lord in these words:\n\n 1. I vow _holy poverty_, that I will possess nothing as my own,\n or receive aught, save at the hands of my Superiors, or with\n their permission. So help me, God. Amen.\n\n 2. I vow _holy chastity_ during the time of my noviciate. So\n help me, God. Amen.\n\n 3. I vow entire, unquestioning, and absolute obedience to the\n Father and Mother Superior, during the term of my noviciate. So\n help me, God. Amen.\n\nMy bridal veil was then removed, and my hair cut off quite short; then I\nretired, and put on the serge habit of a nun, and came back, and I had\nplaced upon me the scapular of obedience, the cord of chastity, and the\nsandals of poverty. Besides these, I again put on the nun\u2019s veil and\nbridal wreath. My companion and myself were then given new names. I,\nJane Mary Povey, was called \u201cSister Mary Agnes of the Holy Child Jesus\u201d;\nFlorence S\u2e3a was called \u201cSister Mary Wereburgh of the Blessed Sacrament.\u201d\n\nThe following hymn was then sung, which I must give in full, as it\naffords such an insight into the _delusion_ of convent life. I believe\nFather Ignatius is the writer of this hymn:\n\n Farewell, thou world of sorrow,\n Unrest, unpeace, and strife;\n I leave thee for the threshold\n Of the celestial life.\n\n Farewell, world of sadness;\n Farewell, earthly joys;\n Lo! my heart is seeking\n Bliss that never cloys.\n\n Strains of heavenly music,\n Sights surpassing fair,\n Steal upon my senses,\n Fall upon mine ear.\n\n Joy of ageless gladness,\n Peace that none can tell,\n Banishes all sadness,\n Satisfies me well.\n\n Languishing for Jesus,\n Longing for His love;\n Thus I\u2019ll journey onwards,\n To my home above.\n\n Body, soul, and spirit,\n To my Lord I give;\n Yearning to behold Him,\n Dying whilst I live.\n\n In the lone, still night-watch,\n \u2019Mid the noon-tide light,\n Yearns my soul for Jesus;\n Here it seems all night.\n\n Pant I for the morning,\n And the day-star\u2019s gleam,\n When in endless sunshine\n Dies earth\u2019s weary dream.\n\n Upwards, then, and onwards,\n Soars my joyful soul\n Jesus\u2019 arms are open,\n Jesus\u2019 heart my goal.\n\n Then my Love shall kiss me,\n Call me all His own,\n Wrap me in His brightness,\n Rest me near His throne.\n\n Smiling fondly on me,\n Mindful of this day,\n When I vowed me to Him,\n I shall joy for aye!\n\n \u2019Mid the throng of virgins,\n In the lily\u2019s vale,\n Where our Spouse is feeding,\n Sunbeams never pale.\n\n All is love and beauty\u2014\n Jesus, He is there;\n All is peace and pleasure,\n All surpassing fair.\n\n Alleluia! chant we,\n In our convent praise;\n Shadowing forth the hymnals,\n Which we then shall raise.\n\n Praise we now the Father,\n With the glorious Son;\n Praise to God the Spirit\n Likewise shall be done. Amen.\n\nDuring the singing of this hymn the newly made novice kneels, and all the\nsisters come, with lighted tapers, to kiss and embrace their new sister;\nafter which a procession is formed, tapers are carried, incense is burnt,\nand these words are sung:\n\n The wise virgins took oil in their lamps; they went in with Him\n to the marriage, and the door was shut.\n\nThese words were scarcely finished, when a door was suddenly and loudly\nslammed; and it seemed hard to realize that we were still in the flesh,\nand there came to my heated imagination some strange expectation of the\nbeatific vision.\n\nNo wonder that brains are turned, and young and inexperienced hearts are\ndeluded and led astray by such an imposing ceremony, which no words of\nmine can adequately describe. You must have been on the spot fully to\nrealize it.\n\nI would impress very strongly on all who read these pages a fact that\nI think is not generally known, viz., that there is in the convent\nno difference whatever between a novice and a black-veiled or fully\nprofessed nun with regard to vows or rule, save that the latter vows for\nlife, and the novice for a time. Yet the novice believes that she has no\nmore right in the sight of God to go back from her vows than a life-vowed\nnun has.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER III.\n\n_THE VOW OF POVERTY._\n\n\nI purpose now to write a short chapter on the Vow of Poverty. By this\nvow a nun has stripped herself of everything; she no longer possesses\nthe right to use anything, or any member of her body, without the\npermission of her superior. Body and soul, hands, eyes, and feet, are\nall given up; therefore the nun may not use her hands or her feet even\nto perform a kind and helpful action for her fellow-nuns, without first\ngoing to ask the leave of her Superior. Often, especially at first, I\ndid not understand my obligation, and consequently I would act without\npermission, and bring upon myself the necessity of performing some\npenance, that my sin might thus be atoned for. A nun may be almost\nparched with thirst, yet she must not drink even a cup of cold water\nwithout first finding the Superior and asking her leave, and even then\nshe may not obtain it; and if leave is granted, she may be censured for\nher alleged want of mortification. The nun who has taken this vow of\npoverty must never possess or make use of anything which has not been\neither given or lent to her by the Superior, neither can she borrow or\nlend anything without leave. This kind of existence really engendered the\nmost abominable selfishness, and I never saw any selfishness to equal a\nnun\u2019s. Her vow of poverty makes her selfish. She has nothing but what\nis doled out scantily by her Superior; and when she does get anything,\nshe takes good care to keep it, not knowing when she will receive the\nlike again. This does not apply to anything great and valuable, but\nsuch trifles as pins and needles, or cotton, or a piece of paper, or a\nflower-pot. To give or lend a flower, a picture, a thimble, a needle, a\nbook, or anything else, without leave, is to break the Vow of Poverty,\nfor which confession must be made, and reparation by public penance.\n\nAnything sent by the parents or relations of the nuns may be disposed of\nas the Superior likes; and should it be given to another nun, we were\ntold, \u201cLet the sister for whom that gift was sent beware of murmuring at\nher Superior\u2019s wisdom.\u201d Often did I have presents taken from me, without\nform or ceremony, and given to another, my face being carefully watched\nwhilst the transfer was being made, to see how I bore the trial, or if I\nbetrayed any signs of criticising the actions of my Superior.[5]\n\nI remember that once a dear little child was brought into our community;\nand being very fond of children, and thinking of my brothers, I held out\nmy arms to the child, and was on the point of kissing him, when I heard\nthe authoritative voice of the rev. Father, saying, \u201cSister Agnes, sit\ndown. Not without leave; you should ask first.\u201d I coloured as if accused\nof some great crime, and sat down, but was too ashamed when recreation\ntime came to ask to kiss him then. I had only been a novice for a few\nmonths, and did not think of my vow of poverty being broken by using my\narms, or lips, or will, without leave.\n\nAnother time\u2014it was at Christmas\u2014I saved a mince-pie to give away to the\nfirst poor person who came to the door. I was portress then. An old man\ncame, and I related at recreation how pleased he was with my gift; but,\nalas! I brought down upon myself a little lecture, and was told that\nI had no right to give convent property away. \u201cBut,\u201d said I, \u201cit was\nmine\u2014my very own.\u201d Whereupon I learnt that for me the words \u201cmine\u201d and\n\u201cthine\u201d did not exist, since by this vow of poverty everything belonged\nto the Father Superior.\n\nWe might not even borrow a pocket-handkerchief, though, as we were\nallowed but three, it was often very necessary to borrow one, for we\ncould not without permission even wash them without breaking rule. If\na sister brought with her several dozens, they would be distributed\naccording to the needs of the community, and the rest put away for future\nuse, as the new novice would be breaking her vow by retaining more than\nshe needed for present use.\n\nWe were very fortunate in being allowed pocket-handkerchiefs at all. I\nknow another English sisterhood where the nuns are only allowed hard\nblue-checked dusters, and as the rev. Father and Mother and sisters have\nthe disgusting habit of snuff-taking, they must find these dusters very\ninconvenient.\n\nShould we use any other article in lieu of a pocket-handkerchief, it must\nbe confessed, and reparation made by holding such article up high at the\nMagnificat, in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, so that all who\nwere assembled might see that we had robbed God of what we had promised.\n\nAgain, if we broke any article, or put it to an improper use, the\npenance consisted in placing the said article, or piece of it, upon the\nhead. Unfortunately for me, I was famous for breaking machine needles,\nand consequently I had to balance them on the top of my head, which was\nno easy matter.\n\nAgain, should we carelessly leave anything out of its proper place, we\nhad to wear that thing the whole of the day. On two or three occasions\nI have been adorned with a pail; I have had a brush and dustpan round\nmy waist, and a large coil of clothes-line round my neck. I hope my\nreaders will now understand a little better what is implied by the vow of\npoverty. This has been a short chapter, but not, I think, an unimportant\none.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IV.\n\n_THE VOW OF CHASTITY._\n\n\nThe Vow of Chastity is broken by allowing any part of the arm to be seen\nabove the wrist, so that if we should be engaged in cleaning furniture,\nor scrubbing floors, or washing clothes, we are not allowed to turn up\nour sleeves; and as the under garments are made of coarse serge with long\nsleeves, which are only changed once a fortnight throughout summer and\nwinter, the discomfort of this may easily be imagined. However, the feet\nmay be quite bare all the year round, for those of us, at least, who were\nconsidered strong enough, as it is quite in accordance with the Vow of\nholy Poverty, to go without socks, stockings, or sandals.\n\nAs I was very anxious to become a saint, I gladly went about with bare\nfeet for two winters, until I had a bad cough, and was then not allowed\nto do so any more. Often my feet were so swollen and covered with blood\nthat I could scarcely move, but I was rather pleased at this, because the\nsaints endured like afflictions. By saints I mean those men and women\nwho have been canonized by the Church of Rome. To this source we went in\norder to find examples of how we might follow Christ. Of course our lady,\nthe \u201cMother of God,\u201d as the Church of Rome calls the mother of Jesus, was\nalways set before us as an example. Then we were in the habit of placing\nour holy Father St. Benedict before us; then to the various saints, monks\nand nuns of our holy Order throughout the world we went, and again to all\nthe saints who had been pronounced blessed by all the Popes who had ever\nlived.\n\nThere is one saint, \u201cblessed John Berchmans,\u201d[6] who is brought\nprominently forward in the \u201cDiurnal of the Soul,\u201d who particularly\nirritated me, because he was so perfect in every iota of his life. I\nused to almost wish he had been occasionally careless, or had now and\nagain lost his temper. Whilst reading \u201cThe Monks of the West,\u201d I was\nquite staggered by the wholesale self-butchery several of these saints\npractised after their conversion.\n\nI could never understand some of these saints. St. Benedict, in order\nto overcome temptations to break his Vow of Chastity, is said to have\njumped into a bed of thorns and briars. I thought I would be before him,\nand prevent evil thoughts even presenting themselves, so I obtained\npermission to sting myself with stinging nettles twice a week, and\ncontinued to do so for years, though it hurt me dreadfully for two days\nafter the operation.\n\nA nun or novice breaks her Vow of Chastity by allowing the dress of a\nsecular lady to brush by her sacred habit, or by raising her eyes to a\nlady\u2019s face when speaking to her, or by raising her eyes at any time\nexcept during the one hour\u2019s recreation. Should her brother or father\ncome to see her, she must keep her face closely veiled from their view.\nVery, very seldom is she sent to speak to any other man, and then only\nif convent duty makes it a necessity. It was quite impossible to kiss or\nshake hands with any one, as we were only allowed to see visitors through\na small grille, the holes of which were about an inch square, while a\nprofessed nun was always near to hear what was said. After a time the\nrule became stricter, and the grille was covered with a thick baize\ncurtain, and we received orders, in addition to keeping our large thick\nveils down below the chin, not to draw the curtain back to speak even to\na woman. It was also a great sin to speak to, or let any secular women\nsee our faces.\n\nI remember at one time we had a charwoman to work, and I was sent to\nsweep the kitchen, with orders to keep the veil low down over my face.\nIn vain did I try to sweep, for I could not see, and dared not raise my\nveil. At last the poor woman tried to take the broom, saying, \u201cLet me do\nit.\u201d I dared not allow this, for in so doing I should have been guilty\nof the sin of disobedience, and for the same reason I dared not speak.\nShe tried hard to get the broom, and I tried hard to keep it, without\nspeaking. At last I was almost forced to open my mouth, and I said to\nher, \u201cThank you, but I _must_ do it.\u201d So I finished the work, and then in\nfear and trembling confessed my fault to the reverend Father. He was very\nangry, and made no excuse for my awkward position, but told me not to\nattempt to justify my conduct, and that there was no excuse for an act\nof disobedience. As a punishment, he sent me then and there to recite the\nwhole Psalter.\n\nShould we grow to love a sister very much, we are speedily forbidden to\nspeak to, or hold any communication with her. This of course does not\nrefer to our Superior, as she is in the place of God to us.\n\nShould we put our arm around a dear young sister\u2019s neck or waist, or even\ntake hold of her hand, such conduct would be a breach of this Vow of\nChastity, and we must confess that we have been too demonstrative in our\naffections towards a spiritual sister. In Butler\u2019s \u201cLives of the Saints,\u201d\nwe read that \u201cSt. Clare was so chaste that she would not even touch her\nfather\u2019s hand.\u201d It was different with our Superior\u2019s hand, as it was the\nrule to kiss that hand when receiving the blessing.\n\nIn regard to confession, the same rules were observed as have always\nexisted in the Church of Rome. Every thought, word, and deed had to be\nconfessed, and we had to answer any question the priest might put to us,\nas nothing is wrong the priest asks in confession; at least this is what\nwe were told.\n\nThe priest I confessed to for the greater part of my convent life made me\nclearly to understand that all he said to me was for myself alone, and\nwas not to be repeated. He bid me keep nothing back, and told me that if\nI did hide any known sin I should be guilty of sacrilege, my confession\nwould be rendered invalid, and I should be putting myself in the position\nof Ananias and Sapphira. When I had finished my confession, he used to\nask several times, \u201cAre you sure you have told me everything?\u201d It will\nthus be seen that there is no loophole or excuse to keep anything back,\nand I never did. Twice he asked me the most outrageous questions, which\nmade me almost shriek, \u201cNo! Oh, no!\u201d[7] I had been to him for some\nyears, and had laid my whole life open to him, and there really could\nbe no occasion for him to put such questions to me on subjects that had\nnever before been presented to my mind, in any shape or form. This priest\nis dead now, and I seldom confessed to another. After I had been a sister\nand under his direction for nine years, he advised me to leave that\nconvent. Why he gave this advice, I do not know; but I replied at once\nthat I would never go back.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER V.\n\n_THE VOW OF OBEDIENCE._\n\n\nThe Vow of entire, unquestioning, and absolute Obedience renders the\nSuperiors tyrants and their subjects slaves. A novice, or nun, must give\nup her will, conscience, judgment, reason, and her intellect, and must\nbe merely a tool in her Superior\u2019s hands.[8] She may not speak to her\nSuperior without first prostrating her whole body to the ground, kissing\nthe hem of her \u201csacred habit,\u201d and then, leave to speak being given, she\nmay address her Superior, kneeling on both knees, with the eyes fixed on\nthe ground. She must listen to her voice as the voice of God; for has\nnot God addressed each nun with some such words as, \u201cThe Lord hath in\nHis wisdom set thy Superior, and her alone, over thee, and He will only\naccept thy obedience through thy Superior\u201d?\n\nOf course we soon learnt to look upon our Superiors as possessing\ninfallibility. In the words of the Lady Prioress of Llanthony convent:\n\n What the Pope is to Roman Catholics, that a Superior is to a\n nun. _I_ cannot err, in regard to you; though I may do wrong or\n make mistakes in regard to matters belonging to myself, yet I\n cannot err as regards you, for our Lord would not permit this.\n Therefore, no matter what I do or say to you, it must be right,\n so far as it concerns you; it is God\u2019s will for you, and the\n very slightest rebellion against my wish or orders, even in\n thought, is rebellion against God.\n\nIn \u201cThe Rule of our Most Holy Father St. Benedict\u201d (Burns & Oates), on\npage 53, these words occur: \u201cThe third degree of humility is that a man,\nfor the love of God, submit himself to his Superior in all obedience,\nimitating the Lord, of whom the apostle saith, \u2018He was made obedient unto\ndeath.\u2019 \u2026 And in order to show that we ought to be under a Superior, the\nword of God says, \u2018Thou hast placed men over our heads.\u2019\u201d\n\nThat this is a most extraordinary and utterly unwarranted application (?)\nof Scripture, I need scarcely point out to my intelligent readers.\n\nOf course the Father Superior is as infallible as the Mother Superior;\nand yet I have heard the Llanthony Mother frequently criticise the\nreverend Father\u2019s doings when his actions did not exactly fall in with\nher ideas, or if they at all clashed with her will. This Mother, too,\noften accused me to the reverend Father of things I had never done.\nI recall to mind an occasion when I was smarting under one of these\nunfounded accusations, and how, in an agony of mind, I exclaimed, \u201cIt is\nnot true, and she knows it is not true.\u201d The Father Superior commanded me\nto be still, and listen to God speaking to me. Practically we were taught\nthat the Lord only reveals His will to us through our Superiors. A nun\nmust obey the convent bell as if it were the voice of an angel. If she\nshould be writing when the bell sounds, she must instantly lay down her\npen, without even waiting to finish the formation of a letter; and as an\nexample of how pleasing such instant obedience is to God, we were told\nthat a certain saint was called three times whilst reciting the office\nof the Blessed Virgin; she obeyed promptly, and on returning and taking\nup her book, she found the letters written in gold;[9] and thus, even\nin this life, was her perfect obedience rewarded. When the bell rings,\nor a Superior calls, everything must be left at once, even though the\nnun knows full well she will be penanced for leaving things about, and\nyet she dares not stay to put them away without a breach of this Vow of\nObedience.\n\nOnce I was in the \u201cLady Chapel,\u201d decorating the shrine, and the bell\nrang before I had cleared the faded flowers away. By _rule_ I dared not\nleave them, and by _rule_ I dared not clear them away, and of the two\nevils I chose to clear away the faded flowers. Soon the Lady Prioress of\nLlanthony came down, looked at me, and then slammed the doors, which shut\nme out of the nun\u2019s choir. I was afterwards reproved by the Superior, who\nsaid to me:\n\n \u201cSister Agnes, if you go on in this way very much longer, you\n will find yourself at last where you are now, outside the doors\n of heaven, with the gate shut.\u201d\n\nThe truth is, a nun\u2019s obedience must be blind in its character; there\nmust be no waiting to consider consequences, for by her vow she has\nrenounced all claim to herself, and should the Superior command her to\ndo what she believes to be even wrong and sinful, it is her duty to\nsimply obey without a question, since the responsibility rests rather\nupon the Superior who gave the command than upon the nun who obeys it.\nIn obeying a Superior, a nun is more sure of doing God\u2019s will than if\nan angel came down from heaven to give a command, seeing that Satan can\ntransform himself into an angel of light; but there can be no possibility\nof mistaking the Superior\u2019s voice! (so we were taught).\n\nObedience to God being the only sure road to heaven, such obedience,[10]\nfor a nun at least, can only be rendered pleasing and acceptable to God\nthrough the channel of her Superior; so, without strict obedience to the\nSuperior, there can be no hope of heaven. Thus a nun must act as one who\nis not responsible to God for her actions! I pity the Superiors, who have\nnot only upon them the weight of their own sins, but also that of all the\nnuns under their care! They have yet to learn that salvation is not the\nreward of man\u2019s obedience, but the free gift of God, by faith, without\nworks.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VI.\n\n_THE DAWN OF SPIRITUAL LIGHT._\n\n\nI had been in the convent now for some eight years, striving after\nperfection; but a wearisome task it was, ever striving to observe all the\nminuti\u00e6 of convent rules, ever confessing every little deviation from\nthe three vows aforementioned. I had been taught that baptism had made\nme a child of God; that original sin had, by virtue of that rite, been\ntaken away; but that, subsequently, if I wished to retain God\u2019s favour, I\nmust confess every sin of omission and commission, in thought, word and\ndeed; and that should I conceal wilfully any matter, however trivial,\nmy eternal salvation would be endangered by any such concealment. It is\nperhaps difficult for those who have never been under such a hard yoke to\nimagine the mental torture such a system creates. I was often filled with\nfear lest I had not remembered _everything_, and it is no easy matter to\nlook back through a whole life and lay everything bare before God, in the\npresence of a man, whom we are told to forget entirely, and think we are\nbut repeating everything to God, who knows all beforehand, but who wills\nthat we should come to Him in this way; and whatever shame is felt in\nthus opening our hearts and all its windings, must be accepted willingly\nas a small suffering for our sins. Sometimes a matter seems so silly or\ntrivial that one thinks it not necessary to confess it. But the very fact\nof not wishing to confess it proves it to be wrong, and therefore it must\nbe confessed. For years I went thus to confession, conscientiously and\nscrupulously declaring the whole of my inner and outer life. Thus did I\nstrive to find the peace I so longed for, and I must say I did enjoy a\ncertain satisfaction of mind until I inadvertently broke some convent\nrule. A sin of anger would be mortal; and had I died without confession\nof this sin to a priest and obtaining absolution, there would have been\nvery little, if any, hope of my soul\u2019s salvation. I would often confess,\nand weep tears of real pain and bitter sorrow at my ingratitude to God,\nafter His wonderful condescension in calling me into the \u201cReligious\nLife,\u201d while so many who possibly would have grown far holier than myself\nwere left in the world, never even having the opportunity of gaining so\nbright a crown, or of being so near to Jesus hereafter. I would resolve\nand pray that I might never do anything wrong against rule (the rule is\nthe nun\u2019s guide to perfection, it being the only way that God intends her\nto reach perfection) or anything else; and to attain this perfect state,\nI would often spend my recreation and sleep time in making novenas to the\nblessed Virgin, reciting the Rosary and Litany of the blessed Virgin, or\nin invoking the saints; but they never seemed to answer me, and even when\nI redoubled my efforts, I sought their help in vain.\n\nIt was very difficult for me not to break rule sometimes, and often it\nwould be impossible to perform obedience, as we had sometimes half a\ndozen obediences to fulfil at the same time, or we had some order given,\nand when it was accomplished, we would be severely reproved for taking\nupon us to dare to do such or such things; and should we try and explain\nour conduct, by that very explanation at least half a dozen rules were\nbroken straightway, namely, silence broken, self-justification, answering\nthe Superior, unwillingness to take unjust rebuke with great gratitude,\netc., for all of which we had hard penances imposed. The result was that\nat times I was in a state of continual penance, and consequently in\nprolonged disgrace, whilst some sisters who were not so conscientious in\nconfessing faults, and doing penances prescribed by rule, were deemed\nfar holier and much higher up the ladder than myself. At last I thought\nmyself so bad that I literally _despaired_ of ever reaching perfection,\nor of going to heaven at all. But my Father Confessor did not think me\nso bad, and, in fact, he flattered me, and declared that he thought very\nhighly of me; but this only tended to alarm me, as I thought I must be\ndeceiving myself and him too, and I told him this, but he assured me that\nI must not think so, and that he felt sure I could not have such a bad\nopinion of myself. However, for months and months I was afraid to go to\nsleep lest I should awake in hell; and I was equally afraid to get up\nlest some accident should come upon me, and then I should be cast into\nperdition. So I was always asking to go to confession at every little\nfault or breach of rule.\n\nAt last the climax came, when one day the following passage from the\nwritings of St. Alphonsus Liguori was read aloud: \u201cA soul may yet be\ndamned for sins which have already been confessed.\u201d How to keep silence I\nknew not, for I felt how terribly I had been deceived in being told that\nsin confessed is sin forgiven. The next day I asked leave to go to my\nFather Confessor, and when I was in his presence he asked me:\n\n\u201cSister Agnes, have you come to confession?\u201d\n\nI replied, \u201cNo, I have not, for I don\u2019t believe in confession, or in\nanything, or anybody, or even in myself, and I scarcely believe there is\na God at all.\u201d\n\n\u201cDear sister, what is the matter with you? I have never seen you like\nthis before. I always thought you very good.\u201d\n\nThen I quoted the words of Liguori which had so upset me, and added:\n\n\u201cYou told me that everything I confessed was forgiven, and I believed\nyou; but now I find it is not true.\u201d\n\nHe made at once the best explanation he could of Liguori\u2019s meaning,\nreconciling the words with his own apparently contradictory statement:\nboth were right then. Be that as it may, I think that from that day I\nlost faith in the value and efficacy of confession, though I was obliged\nstill to go to it.\n\nIt was just at this phase of my experience that I began to think about\ncertain teaching that I had heard vague and indistinct rumours of;\nnamely, that salvation was wholly the work _finished_ for sinners by the\nSaviour\u2019s atoning blood. I had fancied that there was no truth in this,\nand had imagined it was some new doctrine introduced by Methodists.\nFinding myself in such a dilemma, I began to think a good deal about this\ndoctrine, and at last I heartily wished it was true. But I had been so\nlong taught that sacraments were the only sure way to heaven, that I had\nmuch to do, and after doing my utmost, I must look to Christ\u2019s work, so\nto speak, to supply my deficiencies, and that only when I appeared in the\npresence of God after this mortal life could the great question of my\nsalvation be settled. I had so long been living under the influence of\nsuch teaching that it may be easily seen I was not very ready to accept\nany other form of doctrine. Yet I could not get the new idea out of my\nhead. I somehow felt convinced of the truth of it, but I was as yet too\nfast bound in the old chains, and in this state of hovering between two\nopinions I remained for some time, until at length one night I made up\nmy mind I would not sleep till I had settled the question between my own\nsoul and God. The result of this decision was that I determined to lay\ndown at the feet of Jesus all my sins, sorrows, and failings, and even\nmy best intentions, and just to trust in His _finished_ work. I thought\nI had actually done this, and soon fell asleep; but on awaking I felt\ngreatly disappointed, and, kneeling down before the crucifix in my cell,\nI confessed to Christ how bitterly I had been disappointed in finding\nthat in trusting in His finished work, I had not been able to find\nanything beyond a very momentary peace. It was whilst thus kneeling I\nfelt\u2014as truly I thought as it is represented in \u201cPilgrim\u2019s Progress\u201d\u2014the\nwhole burden of everything roll off, and a new life seemed then to thrill\nthrough me.\n\nI had now been, as I have already said, a nun for about eight years, but\nmy new experience did not force me out of the old routine of convent\nlife. I quite well remember that Father Ignatius sometimes taught a\ndoctrine very closely allied to that which I seemed lately so attracted\nby, but he muddled it up with a lot of teaching that seemed to contradict\nit. He certainly taught that all the sacramental superstructure,\nsaint-worship, confession, etc., were only acceptable to God after we had\nreceived Christ, and thus it was that I was somehow led to believe that\nmy new experience was right, but yet that my old life need not be set\naside. I remember I was rather strengthened to continue with new vigour\nmy self-imposed religiousness. Thus I continued, and it was only after an\nexperience of some seventeen years that I saw that convent life\u2014and any\nother life but that of the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave\nHis life for me\u2014was nothing else but a delusion.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VII.\n\n_LIFE AT FELTHAM CONVENT._\n\n\nTen years were passed by me at Feltham. Father Ignatius did not have very\nmuch to do with us there. The Mother, I think, used to let him know that\nshe did not consider it a man\u2019s place to govern a number of women so\nentirely as he wished to do. Besides, he sometimes gave orders which she\nthought very indiscreet, from which great scandal might arise; and, being\nsomewhat older than Father Ignatius, she took the liberty of representing\nto him, rather strongly, her views about his orders and doings. At times\nhe would suddenly give orders from the so-called \u201caltar,\u201d where of\ncourse no one could well remonstrate, and which would put the household\narrangements out for the whole day, though he seemed to be in a great\nstate of consternation when matters did not go forward smoothly in\nconsequence of his orders. Sometimes, before breakfast, he would order\nthat no one, not even the reverend Mother, should speak for a whole day,\nthus causing the utmost confusion, especially amongst the servants in the\nkitchen, who were included in the eccentric command. And yet if his own\ndinner was not properly cooked and served in time, he would show great\ndispleasure. Another time I recollect how he ordered a young and delicate\nsister, who was very ill and consumptive, to walk bare-footed in the snow\nup and down the garden. On another occasion he ordered her to carry a\nnumber of stones till she had made a great heap, and then, when she had\ndone this, he ordered her to carry them all back again! I remember also\nthat once he ordered a young monk, who had come to Feltham with him, to\nput on a high hat, and then to hop up and down the centre path in the\nconvent garden, so that all the nuns might see him. He did this to test\nthe young monk\u2019s humility and obedience, and to see if he was willing\nto become a fool for Christ\u2019s sake. The nuns did see this extraordinary\nsight, and exclaimed:\n\n\u201cDear Mother, do look at Brother \u2e3a. Is he not a perfect fool?\u201d\n\nNothing was too idiotic to impose in the name of holy obedience. I have\nseen, for instance, a brother, instead of kneeling to receive Holy\nCommunion, standing afar off, holding up a black kettle, and at grace, in\nthe refectory, with the muddy street door mat on his head. I have seen a\nsister with a handkerchief tied over her eyes, as if she was just ready\nfor a game of blind man\u2019s buff. Remember, these follies were ordered to\nbe done as penances, and penances were said to be special gifts of love\nfrom the Lord Jesus Christ! What profanity!\n\nI am sure the reverend Mother had the greatest trial in Father Ignatius\u2019\nfreaks, or whatever they may be called; and she soon began to get sick of\nthem, and would dread the ten days he would sometimes spend at Feltham;\nfor she never knew what he was going to do or order next. Once he\nintended to bring a young monk, ill from his monastery, to be nursed by a\nyoung novice nun, and she was to devote the whole of her time to looking\nafter him. This might have been well enough if we had been sisters of\ncharity; but we were enclosed nuns, and were not allowed to see the face\nof a man, except, of course, our Superior. The Mother would not hear of\nsuch a thing, or allow the sick monk to come to the house, as she was\nsure it would prove an occasion of scandal. She thus set up her will and\njudgment to oppose Father Ignatius, and she did this on more than one\noccasion. But at last Father Ignatius boldly asserted that he was quite\ndetermined to have nothing but _unconditional obedience_. The Mother, and\nthe majority of nuns in the Feltham convent, refused to accept such an\nunconditional obedience, and the result was that a split took place. The\nMother would not sign a paper of unconditional and personal obedience,\nand so Father Ignatius said to those who refused: \u201cYou no longer belong\nto the order of the Monk Ignatius of Llanthony in the nineteenth\ncentury.\u201d However, he took with him three nuns who were ready to render\nthe obedience he required. I was one of the three. Another of the number\nwas the nun who took novice vows when I did. She had, however, meanwhile\nbroken her vows, and had gone into the world for some six years, and\nhad been a wife and mother. Her husband and child having died, she had\nreturned to Feltham a few months before this split had taken place.\n\nIt is astonishing to contemplate how absolutely Father Ignatius required\nus to yield our wills to his will. Whatsoever he demanded was, he said,\ndistinctly God\u2019s will for us, and whatsoever we did for him was God\u2019s\nwill. To use his own oft-repeated words:\n\n\u201cIt must be so sweet for you to wait upon your Superior, because in so\ndoing you are really waiting upon God; in fact, in waiting upon your\nSuperior, like Martha of old, you are waiting upon the Lord Himself.\u201d\n\nI can assure my readers that we poor deluded nuns believed in all this;\nand, so far as obedience would permit, we literally vied with each other\nin waiting upon our Superior and preparing for him the very best we\ncould, for we felt that nothing could be too well prepared in waiting,\nas we thought, upon the Lord. There was no greater penance to us than\nto be debarred from waiting upon his will. If any one was in disgrace\nfor breaking rule, he would neither speak nor even look at her, nor even\nallow her to kiss the hem of his sacred dress!\n\nAfter we had left Feltham a few weeks, Father Ignatius, and the widowed\nnun who had accompanied him, wrote several letters, in which the rebel\nnuns of Feltham were exhorted to return to their Father, by submitting\nto unconditional obedience. He allowed them, I think, three weeks to\nconsider the matter; and if, at the close of that time, they remained\nobstinate, he would, he declared, excommunicate them, and then the awful\ncurse of broken vows would rest upon them. The threatened curse was at\nlength pronounced. The altar was draped in black, and an excommunication\nservice was read through. I was greatly terrified at this most strange\nyet solemn act. I remember well the words that were uttered at this\nservice:\n\n Unless they repent of this their sin, may they be blotted out\n of the book of life. Amen, Amen.\n\nHere the bell tolled. I was well nigh petrified with fear, and thought\nto myself, \u201cCan all the Feltham nuns really be under this awful curse?\u201d\nAt the first opportunity I asked Father Ignatius if the bell was really\ntolled for the Feltham Mother and nuns? He said, \u201cCertainly it was.\u201d I\nexclaimed, \u201cHow awful!\u201d He replied, \u201cTrue, my child, but it had to be\ndone.\u201d I remember how he often prophesied that the community at Feltham\nwould only flourish like a green bay-tree for a time, and that ere long\nit would pass out of existence; and I must honestly confess that he did\nhis very utmost to bring it to nought, by efforts to draw away friends\nand support from it. It has ever been a peculiarity of Father Ignatius\nto curse and excommunicate people; but those who are thus cursed only\nflourish all the more.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VIII.\n\n_CONVENT LIFE AT SLAPTON, IN DEVONSHIRE._\n\n\nI will now pass on to say a few words about my life at the Slapton\nconvent, in Devonshire, where we took up our abode after leaving Feltham.\n\nWe commenced life in our new home, which was part of an old chantry\nhouse, with glad, bold, and brave hearts, determined to keep the rules\nwhich were imposed upon us. Our motto was \u201cIn omnibus glorificetur Deus.\u201d\nWe were under stricter rule than we had ever been before, but we were\nglad of this, as we believed we were brought nearer to Jesus the stricter\nthe rule we kept.\n\nI cannot say much for the peace and happiness that fell to me here after\ntwo years had passed away. During that period I was housekeeper\u2014Mother\nWereburgh sacristan, and Mother Cecilia scribe. I was greatly praised\nand flattered; but there was one fault found with me, and this was my\nunwillingness to obey implicitly the two sisters who were put above me\nas my Superiors. The fact is that both these nuns were jealous of me,\non account of the good opinion Father Ignatius had of me. Besides, I am\ncertain that Mother Cecilia had no right to be made Novice-mistress, nor\nhad Mother Wereburgh right to be made Lady Prioress. The former had not\nbeen properly professed, and the latter was what is termed a \u201cdesecrated\nvirgin,\u201d and it was unlawful, according to the constitutions of St.\nBenedict, for either of them to hold office. It was not right of Father\nIgnatius to place these women over me in the place of God, and to command\nme to see God in them. Although I tried hard, I could not submit to them,\nand thus my life became by no means a smooth or happy one.\n\nI may mention here that, whilst residing at Slapton, a poor old woman was\nsomehow induced to sell her little home in Herefordshire, that she might\ncome to our convent; but alas! she \u201cfound everything,\u201d as she told me,\n\u201cso different from what I expected. My life is a misery to me. I shall\nnever believe in anything again.\u201d I must say she seemed at times somewhat\npeculiar; but when a person of fifty years of age begins life over again,\nand is expected to be as obedient as she was required to be when quite a\nlittle child, is it to be wondered at that such a return to an artificial\nchildhood causes bewilderment? It was nothing else than devotion to\nFather Ignatius that caused her to give up her home.\n\nIt was the rule in choir to _hold_ books; when sitting, to have the\npalm of each hand resting on each knee; and when kneeling, to do so\nperfectly upright, with hands crossed on each breast. Now this old woman\nhad not taken any vow of obedience, and she either forgot to keep her\nhands in a proper position, or did not choose to do so; consequently the\nreverend Father, during the service, would cross the choir to her seat,\nand put her hands in the proper position. Five minutes afterwards she\nwould have them clasped or folded, whereon the Father had to come to her\nagain repeatedly. At last the poor old thing would cry and become quite\nhysterical. Mother Wereburgh told her she had better go home, but she\nhad none to go to, for she had parted from her own home, believing that\nshe was coming to one. Once she ran away and scandalized the nuns to the\nvillagers. When she came back, the Mother sent for the village policeman,\nas she made out that the poor old woman was violent; and with the help of\nthe policeman, she was conveyed away in the carrier\u2019s cart, and she gave\nthe constable the money to pay her fare to her own home again.\n\nThe unkindness of the two sisters was quite sufficient to make the\nold woman strange and angry. I remember how she denounced these nuns,\nassuring them that the Lord would take vengeance on them, and it was\nsuch a speech that caused the Mother Superior to draw the policeman\u2019s\nattention to the alleged fact that she was mad. The simple-minded man\nsaid he could \u201csee it.\u201d Now this policeman was made favourably disposed\nto the nuns, when we first went to Slapton, by the present of a leg of\nmutton going to his family for a Sunday dinner, and other gifts of a\nsimilar kind. The old woman was really no more mad than I am at present,\nbut she was often made frantic with anger by the conduct of the Mother.\nAfter her return home she wrote for some clothes she had left behind at\nthe convent, and asked the Mother to return everything that belonged to\nher, upon which the Mother assured Father Ignatius that she had taken\nall her belongings with her. Soon after this I happened to be at the\nlinen-press with the Mother, and there I saw some of the old woman\u2019s\nclothes, and exclaimed, \u201cSee, here are the things she asked for!\u201d The\nMother replied, \u201cOh, they are only old rags.\u201d They were not. \u201cBut,\u201d said\nI, \u201care they not what she wrote for?\u201d Three times afterwards she wrote\nfor them, for she was badly off, having sold all her little earthly\npossessions to enter the \u201choly, happy cloister.\u201d Father Ignatius again\nasked the Mother to send the things off; yet in my presence she said:\n\u201cI assure you, dear Father, there is nothing here of hers, and to make\ncertain of this, I looked all through the linen cupboard the other day,\nand could not find a single garment belonging to her.\u201d I dared not open\nmy lips, or even say a word to help this poor old woman to regain her\nclothes. They were of no value to the Mother; but once having denied\nthat they were there, she would not acknowledge she had made a mistake,\nand would stick to it.\n\nI remember too how, whilst at Slapton, an ignorant girl came to be\nwhat is called a lay-sister. She knew nothing of any kind of religion\nwhatever, yet in a few months she made her first communion, and took\nnovice vows for one year. I am sure she had no more idea than a new-born\nbabe of what she had undertaken, or what was expected of her; and the\nhundred and one rules we had to conform to in each day were frightfully\nbewildering. This poor creature consequently was frequently breaking\nrule, and was therefore plunged in penance, disgrace and misery, and\nreally for no fault of hers. After about two months she was sent back\nto the world, as she was always in trouble, especially as she was very\nfond of talking to the gardener, and could not see the sin of an enclosed\nnovice talking to a man, or why she should cover her face with her veil\nwhen she wanted to see him, or any one else. As she could not make head\nor tail of the \u201cglorious holy life,\u201d and was thoroughly miserable in it,\nshe was dispensed from her vows, and sent away in a kind spirit, which\nwas from a _prudent_ motive.\n\nI will mention the case of another young lady who came to our convent as\na postulant. When she had been there a few days, she felt she had done\nwrong in leaving her only brother, as she had so much influence over him\nfor good, and they were orphans. With the Mother\u2019s permission, she went\nback. The reverend Father was absent at the time. On his return, he sent\noff a letter to her, telling her that the curse of God would be upon\nher\u2014that she had no faith in God. She should leave her brother in His\nhands, and he actually told her that she was a spiritual adulteress.\n\nIt is important that my readers should thoroughly grasp this fearful\nmoral compulsion, which is exercised on impressible and easily influenced\nminds. And yet the world is told that postulants, and novices, and\nprofessed nuns, are quite free to go back if they choose. The letter of\nIgnatius brought this young lady back, and she was duly put to penance\nfor leaving. She had to cover her face with a black mask, during the\ndivine office, which is recited seven times a day and once at night. She\nhad to sit upon the ground during the time allowed to sitting in those\noffices, and she was ordered to sit on the floor to eat her food. After\nmeekly going through all her penances for the space of six weeks, she\ntook novice vows, when her beautiful long hair was cut off quite short,\nin token of her renunciation of the world. She was a sweet girl of about\nnineteen at the time, and I know full well that she was as thoroughly\nmiserable as she could be. When she had been a novice some time, the Lady\nPrioress announced to her publicly:\n\n\u201cSister Ermenild, you have been a novice now over two years. Reverend\nFather and I both think it time you made your profession; so please to\nget ready to take the black veil.\u201d\n\nAlthough this profession was made after we had removed to Wales, I may as\nwell give a short account of it in this chapter.\n\nA solemn service was performed, in which the nun was \u201cmarried to Jesus\nChrist, Son of the most high God.\u201d A ring was placed on her finger as a\ntoken and pledge thereof, after which she was laid out on a mattress,\nover which was placed a black pall, ornamented with a white cross. The\nBurial Service from the Book of Common Prayer was then read over her,\nearth being solemnly dropped upon her. The _De Profundis_ was sung for\nthe repose of her soul, after which the altar was then divested of its\nblack funeral hangings (which had been put on for this part of the\nservice), and soon afterwards Sister Ermenild appeared in her bridal\nattire. She was a new creature now, raised, so to speak, to a new life.\nShe was then led to the altar, bearing in her hands a massive lighted\ntaper, and wearing a virgin\u2019s crown, during which proceeding a hymn was\nsung:\n\n Dead with me, then death is over,\n Dead and gone are death\u2019s dark fears.\n\nAfter which came \u201c_the cursing_,\u201d a ceremony which is always used in the\nRoman Catholic Church in the consecration of a virgin, and is to the\neffect that\u2014\n\n\u201cShould any one attempt to draw aside this present virgin, let him be\ncursed in his rising up and sitting down, in his standing or walking, in\nsleeping or waking, in eating or drinking, etc., etc., and may his flesh\nrot from his bones, and may he be blotted out of the book of life. Amen,\namen, so be it.\u201d\n\nAfter all this cursing was finished, the now reverend Dame Mary E. was\nenthroned on a seat covered with rich crimson plush, which was placed\nupon the altar steps, that from thence she might give all who went up to\nher the blessing. Father Ignatius led the way, followed by monks, boys,\nnuns, girls, and as many seculars as felt inclined to go. The service was\nthen finished.[11]\n\nIn less than a month after, being in great trouble and disgrace with her\nSuperior (for what it would be a puzzle to find out), Sister E. said to\nme:\n\n\u201cOh! how I wish I had never taken the black veil!\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d said I, \u201cyou wanted to?\u201d\n\nShe said, \u201cNo, I never asked to. You yourself heard what the reverend\nMother said to me; and previous to that, she had not uttered a word on\nthe subject.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d said I, \u201cyou know what the reverend Father said before every one,\nhow eloquently he told them that the virgin about to be professed was not\nyet bound, and even at that last minute she was perfectly free to return\nto the world if she chose; but that only after she had taken this awful\nstep she could not go back?\u201d\n\nTo which she replied: \u201cYes, he did, I know, say so in public, but you do\nnot know what he said to me in private.\u201d\n\nOh, how easily the world is deceived by such high-sounding phrases!\n\u201cThe doors are open\u2014all are free to leave as soon as they like, etc.\u201d\nWhen people speak of inspecting convents, they should remember that to\ndo so thoroughly, something beyond what is visible to the eye must be\ninvestigated, even the interior of each nun\u2019s heart, and the terrible\nmoral force that has been brought to bear upon it. And remember, too,\nthat if a sister\u2019s own mother or sister came to see her, she could not\ndiscover the deep distress that so often lies upon her daughter\u2019s heart.\nNo nun would _dare_ to tell it, even to her mother, though her heart\nmight be breaking with misery. She would have to appear before her mother\nwith the look of one who is perfectly happy, and even smiling, otherwise\nshe would be instrumental in bringing disgrace and scandal upon the\nconvent, and this, at all cost, must be avoided. I have had to appear\nthus, looking happy and free before my own mother, when a few minutes\nbefore I had been crying, wishing and praying that I might die.\n\nAfter this digression, I will return to give an account of a novice at\nSlapton, who took vows on the same day as Sister E. just mentioned. They\npromised to let her take the black veil soon, provided only that she\nshowed herself a submissive child (this child was over thirty), who had\nno wish or opinion but that of her superiors. But unfortunately for\nher, she had a very natural habit of forming an opinion for herself, and\nadmitted that she thought it no harm to do so, as long as she kept that\nopinion to herself. But there was great harm in this (so the Superior\nsaid), inasmuch as a novice should be in all things of one mind with her\nSuperiors, in thought, word, and deed. This novice brought with her a\nvaluable gold watch, which she was content to give up for the time being,\nand, according to novice rules, she had given up her box and keys. The\nMother had looked into Sister F.\u2019s box, and there saw some things she\nwanted for use in the convent, and she told Sister F. so. The novice,\nhowever, was not willing that they should be used, as she had not taken\nlife vows; in this way she first drew upon herself the Mother Superior\u2019s\ndispleasure and censure. Shortly after this she was asked to give up her\nmoney to help in building a new cloister at Llanthony. She said she was\nwilling to give up a part but not the whole, and would very much like to\nput a stone in the building. Thus by exercising her own opinion she was\nagain brought into disgrace, and was told she could keep her money, and\nwould not be allowed the privilege of putting a stone to the building.\nShe must give up all her money or none. From that time she was treated\nwith the greatest severity, and looked upon as the offscouring of all\nthings. To make a long story short, she was soon packed off from Slapton\nas having no vocation to the \u201creligious life.\u201d How strange it was that\nher Superiors were unable to detect this until they discovered that she\nwas unwilling to give up her money to build a holy cloister! Before this\nthey had a very good opinion of her.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IX.\n\n_CONVENT LIFE AT LLANTHONY._\n\n\nI was looking forward to taking the black veil, but somehow the Mother\nhad made a firm resolve to keep me, if possible, from taking this step. I\nmay be permitted to write a few words about the present Lady Prioress of\nLlanthony. This lady took novice vows with me in 1869. She gained a great\nreputation for sanctity by an assumed air of humility, and by performing\ninnumerable voluntary penances and antics, which put her less saintly\nsisters to much discomfort and disgust. I recollect her once sitting next\nto me in the refectory at dinner, when I saw a roasted maggot on her\nplate, which made me feel quite ill. I signed to her, fearing she would\neat it unperceived, whereupon she at once took it upon her fork, salted\nit, and put it into her mouth, looking the very picture of goodness.\nShe would of her own free will throw herself down on the floor, and\nmeekly kiss everybody\u2019s feet, beg their prayers, and thank them for\nbearing with her, saying she was not worthy to be amongst us, etc. This\ncontinued until we were all perfectly sick of her, as we knew quite well\nby her other words and actions that she considered herself the best in\nthe house. Sometimes she would bang her head purposely against the wall;\nin fact, she copied every saint, whose life she happened to be reading\nat the time, in his or her foolish actions, whilst if they did anything\nsensible, she left it out. St. Mary Magdalene of Piazzi, was her special\nfavourite. Sister Wereburgh once planted a rotten cucumber, to see if\nour Lord would make it grow into a plant, which, of course, He did not,\nthough she quite thought He would. This was in imitation of a St. Teresa,\nwho, we read, once gave a rotten cucumber to one of her novices in order\nto test her obedience, desiring her to plant it in the garden. The novice\nobeyed without a question, when, in reward for her perfect obedience,\na plant sprang from it, and bore fruit. This is one of the miracles\nrecorded in the life of Saint Teresa. Sister Wereburgh would obtain\nleave to go without her dinner, and fast till tea-time, very often, but\nwas desired to have some lunch, which would consist of dry bread. The\nMother Superior at that time never asked her what lunch she had, but\nat last some of us found out that she had a good helping of bread and\nbutter, and a good-sized cup of hot cocoa. She was housekeeper then, and\nthus had no difficulty in taking what she wanted. Thus she really had\nmore than we did at dinner, which often consisted of two small sardines,\nthree or four small potatoes, and half a slice of bread, thinly cut, and\nsome water. As I do not wish to appear in the least vindictive, I will\nnot now add more about this sister. She was the cause of distress to more\npersons than myself, though she managed to keep herself in favour with\nFather Ignatius, and became quite his model nun.\n\nI will now tell my readers more of my experiences at Llanthony. I cannot\nsay Father Ignatius gave us a very warm welcome to our new convent.\nIn the first place, I remember well how dreadfully he frightened me\nby telling us that the place was haunted by evil spirits, as well as\ngood. We were told by Ignatius that he had watched a whole procession\nof devils cross the church, while they were at matins. The brothers,\nwe were assured, had often seen them about the house. One brother at\nthe monastery declared that he had felt their hot breath on his cheek.\nThis brother was a life-vowed monk, though only about twenty-one years\nof age. He ran away and came back so many times, that at last he said,\n\u201cTo prevent myself from ever returning, I shall get married,\u201d which he\nfulfilled by marrying an opera girl. I was told that afterwards he became\na billiard-marker.\n\nThe Novice-mistress came into our room one day, saying:\n\n\u201cI have seen him.\u201d\n\n\u201cSeen whom?\u201d we asked.\n\n\u201cThe devil,\u201d she replied.\n\nI was really frightened by the tales of the devils who inhabited\nthe cloister; and to add to my terror, Father Ignatius and the\nNovice-mistress told me:\n\n\u201cSister Agnes is SURE to see him.\u201d\n\nI used to go about night and day, making the sign of the cross, praying\nto our Lord, the blessed Virgin, and to our holy Father St. Benedict, not\nto let me see anything, either good or evil. Sometimes I did not hear the\ncall for the night office, and would only awake at the sound of the bell.\nThis necessitated my going down a long dark passage alone, and returning\nalone to and from the church; besides, I had to stay in the church alone\nafter matins and lauds, to recite the whole of the Lamentations of\nJeremiah, as a penance for not rising when called. Not hearing was no\nexcuse; and if we only remained in bed thirty seconds after being called,\nand attempted to leave the church with the others, the Novice-mistress\nwould make signs for the sister who failed to rise, to stop and perform\nher penance. It used to take me a long time to do my penance, as I kept\nleaving off to watch for a devil.\n\nThere is supposed to be a miraculous light over the \u201caltar,\u201d which was\npointed out to us on the first day of our arrival at Llanthony. I looked\nfor a long time, but failed to see anything but the sunshine. At last the\nreverend Father said:\n\n\u201cDo you see it, Sister Agnes?\u201d\n\nI replied, \u201cNo, dear Father, I do not see anything but cobwebs and\nsunshine.\u201d\n\nI must not omit to write on a very distressing subject, and that is the\nill-treatment I received from the Lady Prioress. After I had been about a\nweek at Llanthony, she sent for me. On coming into her presence I knelt\nat her feet, and she gave me the hem of her dress to kiss. It should be\nremembered that we were not usually allowed to speak to the Superior\nwithout first prostrating our faces to the ground, and kissing the hem of\nher \u201choly habit.\u201d[12] But I had better give the very words of the rule:\n\u201cTo receive the words of our Superior, humbly kneeling, with eyes fixed\non the ground.\u201d Should we break this rule, the order was \u201cto receive any\npenance our Superior liked to inflict.\u201d My Superior on this occasion\nsaid, \u201cSister Agnes, you often say you wish to submit to me.\u201d I replied,\n\u201cYes, dear Mother.\u201d On which she said, \u201cHold your tongue, and listen to\nme, for now I am going to prove you; and the first thing, before I say\nany more, I must ask you to take off your _scapular_, for you are not\nfit to wear it.\u201d You, my readers, must please understand that to give\nup the scapular was a terrible disgrace, and it quite cut any sister\noff from many privileges which are highly prized, such as communion and\nrecreation. She now imposed a severe penance upon me. I had to become _a\ndoor-mat_; that is, I had to lie prostrate in front of the church door,\nso that nuns, girls, monks, and boys should walk over me, and I was not\nallowed to get up until the last one had entered the church. I did not\nmind the nuns and girls treading upon me, but my nature did recoil from\nlying down for men to walk over me. They themselves hesitated a moment,\nand then deliberately walked over me. They were under obedience, and had\nthey refused, would have incurred punishment. This penance was to last\nseven times a day for a week. The next penance she imposed was to make\nme lie prostrate on my face in front of my stall for a week during the\nnight office, which lasts from 2 a.m. to 3.45 a.m. Then a third penance I\nhad to undergo was to be deprived of my breakfast, and thus to go without\nfood till 12.30 p.m.; and when I was permitted to eat, I remember I had\nto take my plate and kneel before each sister, and beg food from each\nin turn. Though they afforded me a generous supply, I was often too ill\nto partake of it. After enduring two days\u2019 fasting in this fashion, the\nNovice-mistress begged that I might have a cup of tea, and a piece of\nbread at 9 a.m. She told me I must eat this, or I should become seriously\nill. Ah! I did feel ill, quite wretched! but yet I longed to be quite\ngood, pure, and holy, and this made me submit so willingly to these\ndreadful penances. Often at this and subsequent periods my life was such\na burden to me, that I have begged and prayed that God would let me die.\n\u201cO God, if you would only grant me death!\u201d has been my prayer over and\nover again.\n\nAt that time I had not allowed myself to think of giving up convent\nlife. Such a thought to me then would have been sacrilege, and the very\ngreatest unfaithfulness to the Lord, to whom I believed myself espoused.\nThese words which had been repeated in my ears, sounded loudly:\n\n \u201cKnowest thou not that the novitiate is a solemn espousal to\n our Lord Jesus Christ, and the consummation of the bridal tie\n with thy Lord will be expected of thee when thou shalt take the\n final vows?\u201d\n\nI could not forget that when I had been asked at the service of taking\nnovice vows.\n\n\u201cWhat will become of you if you ever turn back, after taking up the\ngolden plough?\u201d\n\nI had to make this reply: \u201cI should then be unfit for the kingdom of God.\u201d\n\nAwful words were these, words which seemed like the announcement of our\nown eternal damnation. Father Ignatius now says, \u201cWhy did you do these\npenances? You were at liberty to refuse, and leave the convent.\u201d But I\nwould ask my readers to try and understand what _that_ implied, what\nterrible _mental torture_ (a form of torture more cruel and bitter than\nthat imposed of old by the Inquisition) such a step involved. I am afraid\nno one _can_ realize it who has not herself passed through it. It is a\nmaddening kind of torture, because one is strained up to such a pitch,\nand made to think of the awful sin against God and one\u2019s own soul by\ngoing back; when for all eternity, by a little submission here, one would\nhereafter become the spotless bride of the Lamb, and gain a glorious\ncrown to lay at His feet.\n\nI am sure that never did any girl enter a convent, and remain in it for\nso many years, with a more sincere intention of serving and pleasing God\nthrough the will of her Superior than I did. I had been told many times\nthat\u2014\n\n\u201cGod in His wisdom has appointed the reverend Mother, and declares that\nHe will only accept your obedience through her, and through her alone.\u201d\n\nAnd yet she was the very one that made obedience impossible, by giving me\nrules that were beyond my power to fulfil; and often orders were given\nme, which I fulfilled, and yet would after all be reprimanded severely\nfor daring to take upon myself to do them.\n\nAfter suffering much at her hands for three years, I became convinced\nthat she would never treat me better, and I made up my mind to leave the\nconvent. When I asked her permission to leave, she always replied, \u201cYes,\nyou can go. You may go at this moment if you like.\u201d Yet she never did\nanything to further my departure. How could I go without clothes to put\non? and I had nothing but my serge habit and cap, and was without money\nfor my fare. Besides, it was many miles through a wild country to the\nnearest railway station, and I was ignorant of the way, and had been shut\naway from the world for sixteen years, from the early age of fifteen.\nThe only journeys I had made were from convent to convent, and even then\nwe had thick veils over our faces all the way, and were told not to put\nthem up, though we were in close carriages. I wrote several times to my\nsister, asking her to send me some money to pay for my journey, and to\ntell me how to get to her, and to meet me. Over and over again I wrote to\nher, and received no reply. At last I discovered that my letters were not\nsent. Yet the world is told that nuns have _free_ intercourse with their\nfriends outside. _Nothing of the kind!_\n\nAt last I wrote another letter, and forced myself into my Superior\u2019s\npresence (for she had now forbidden me to go near her), and asked her to\nallow the letter to go by this post. I told her that it was to my sister,\nand that I had written for journey money, as I intended to leave. At this\nshe quite raved, saying:\n\n\u201cGo out of my room this instant! I shall not allow your letter to go to\nyour sister. You write so badly that it is a disgrace to the convent; and\nyour other sister has written asking me not to let you write to her, as\nyour letters worry her so.\u201d\n\nThis was not true, as my sister has since told me that she wrote to the\nSuperior requesting her kindly to give me a few details about my mother\u2019s\ndeath. I had often written to my sister asking for a piece of my mother\u2019s\nhair, and it worried her so, as my darling mother was burnt to death, and\nthere was nothing left of her but a charred coal. I had been told only\nthat she was dead, and, very naturally, I wanted to know all about it,\nand continually asked for the circumstances of her death, and a piece of\nher hair.\n\nThe reverend Mother knew all about it, my sister having written it in\nthe first letter announcing my mother\u2019s death, and yet she never told\nme what had taken place. My sister had now again written to the Superior\nasking her to tell me all about it, so that I should not be always\nasking the same question, which so worried my sister to have repeated\nunnecessarily as she thought.[13] My brothers, I learnt afterwards, had\nsent me their photographs, but they had been returned, after which they\nnever wrote to me again, and I had meanwhile been wondering why I never\nheard from them.\n\nI now felt utterly desolate to think I could not write to my sister, and\nI was in terror what would happen to me next: somehow I did not like to\nrun away, as it then seemed to me dishonourable, so I said to a young\nsister, who I knew would report it:\n\n\u201cYou know, I have asked over and over again to be allowed to go, and\nthe reverend Mother will not let me. Now I am determined to watch my\nopportunity and run away; I shall stop at the first house I come to, and\nsend some one up here to ask for money to pay my fare.\u201d\n\nAn hour after this, the Novice-mistress came with a sun-bonnet, a black\nand white shawl, and a sovereign, saying:\n\n\u201cThe reverend Mother says you have asked to go so many times. Now George\nis going to the station, and can drive you down there to-morrow. These\nare all the clothes she has to give you, and that money\u201d (putting the\nsovereign down on the table) \u201c_belongs to the altar_. If you choose to\ndo so, take it, and you are to take _nothing_ away with you, not even a\nchange of clothes.\u201d\n\nTo this I replied: \u201cTell the reverend Mother I cannot go out a beggar;\nall I want is a change of clothes.\u201d\n\nShe sent an answer back by a new sister.\n\n\u201cYou came to her a beggar, and you will go away a beggar.\u201d\n\nIt may be asked how it was that I felt so determined to leave. Before\ngoing on to relate how at last I did leave, I will mention that which\n_provoked_ me to my determination. I am sure that my readers will not\nthink it a trifling provocation. It was as follows. One day the Mother\nSuperior summoned us all to chapter, and commenced speaking to us thus:\n\n\u201cMy dear children, I have come to the conclusion, which has now for some\ntime been growing upon me (but I am now convinced of it), that poor\nSister Agnes is _mad_.\u201d\n\nEvery one seemed to start at this absurdity. I could only smile. She went\non to say:\n\n\u201cYes, I am quite convinced of it! and, poor child, this madness will grow\nupon her unless you are all very kind to her, and you all know how mad\npeople are treated. You must never contradict them, and, therefore, you\nmust never contradict Sister Agnes. If you do, the madness will increase;\nyou must just say \u2018yes\u2019 to everything, unless you know she wants you to\nsay \u2018no\u2019; you need not take the trouble to talk to her, or put yourselves\nout for her, unless she asks you a question; then simply smile at her and\nsay \u2018yes.\u2019\u201d\n\nShe then turned to me and said:\n\n\u201cI forbid you to go into church at all, or to speak to any one, unless it\nis absolutely necessary; but of course you will do as you like about it.\u201d\n\nMy first thought was, \u201cWhat a blessing! for I shall get a little peace\nnow!\u201d I was in peace for two days, and, if I asked questions about my\nwork or anything, the sisters all smiled graciously, and nodded their\nheads, or replied, \u201cyes.\u201d After two days had passed, I began to wonder\nwhether I really was mad or not. This thought took such hold upon me\nthat I would sit for hours with my head in my hands, wondering if I had\nreally lost my reason. The thought drove sleep from me, and, in fact,\nwas slowly driving me really mad. I asked that new sister (L\u2e3a W\u2e3a, from\nDevonshire) if she thought I was mad. She told me she did _not_ think me\nso; but I supposed that perhaps she only said this to please and humour\nme, according to the instructions given by the Mother Superior. She\nassured me, however, that she really knew I was not mad. In spite of this\nassurance, my mind was in as much doubt as before, and I arrived at the\nconclusion that if I was not already mad, I soon should be, with this\nawful doubt on my mind.\n\nI again asked leave to go, and the reverend Mother replied before them\nall:\n\n\u201cI have nowhere to send you; directly I have, you shall go.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d I replied, \u201cI want to go to _my sister_.\u201d\n\nTurning to the chapter again, she said:\n\n\u201cI assure you I only keep her here out of love. She is a poor child,\nwithout a friend in the world, entirely dependent on my charity, and that\nof the reverend Father.\u201d\n\nA strange suspicion was now borne into my mind, from what the Mother\nSuperior had said about sending me away when she had a place to send me,\nthat she was actually trying to drive me mad, and would then send me to a\nlunatic asylum. Hence arose my final decision to leave the convent at any\ncost.\n\nTo show my readers the kind of treatment I received from this lady, I\nwill mention that one evening I was sitting alone, when suddenly I felt a\ngreat pain go through my head\u2014so great that it almost stupified me. Then\nI felt a sudden box on my left ear, another on my right. I cried out,\n\u201cOh! oh!\u201d not quite making out what it was, for the first blow had nearly\nstunned me.\n\nThen a voice sounded, \u201cI don\u2019t care if I kill you,\u201d and I saw close\nto me the Lady Prioress, or the reverend Mother Mary Wereburgh of the\nBlessed Sacrament!\n\nO God, Thou knowest what I write is true, without adding to it or taking\naught from it; and yet I had been induced to leave my own precious\nmother, and had been told that the love of a _spiritual_ father and\nmother and sister was so great, that the love of one\u2019s own parents and\nsisters was not to be compared to it. I always craved to be loved. I had\nleft all my earthly relations only to gain what I was told was a higher,\npurer, holier, and more noble love.\n\nBehold my reward! And such shall be yours, my reader, if you should\nunhappily follow in my footsteps. Yes, disappointment will follow you,\nbitterness of heart beyond all description, a longing to go back to those\ndear ones whom you have left, and yet not daring to go lest the curse of\nGod should fall upon you. I have spent seventeen years in the cloister,\nand let me tell you that nearly all, or, at least, a full half of that\nperiod was one of bitter sorrow and disappointment.\n\nIt was quite a common thing to have our ears boxed by the Lady Superior.\nIn consequence, I became quite deaf in one ear, and, consequently, was\noften unable to hear the orders given me. I was reported to the reverend\nFather for disobedience, and I told him that it was through no fault of\nmine that I had failed in obeying orders, but that I had had my ears\nboxed to such an extent that I had become quite deaf in one ear.\n\nOne day I was coming from nones at 2.45 p.m. This \u201cMother\u201d commanded me\nto stay where I was, and not to return to work, and then said:\n\n\u201cYou have got the DEVIL in you, and I am going to beat him out.\u201d\n\nAll left the sacristy but myself, the Mother Superior, and one nun,\nwho was ordered to be present at the casting out of the devil. I was\ncommanded first to strip. I saw \u201cthe Discipline,\u201d with its seven lashes\nof knotted whipcord in her hand, and I knew that one lash given (or taken\nby oneself) was in reality seven. I should mention that at certain times\nit was the rule to discipline oneself.[14]\n\nNow my first thought when commanded to strip was, \u201cI can\u2019t;\u201d it would not\nbe right or modest to strip (it meant to the waist). Then it came into\nmy mind that Jesus did not thus think, when the soldiers ordered Him to\nstrip to be scourged. He simply obeyed, and I felt sure that what He did\nI might imitate. So I said inwardly, \u201cYes, dear Lord, for love of Thee I\ncan.\u201d Then I began to undress; but when I came to my vest, shame again\novercame me.\n\n\u201cTake that thing off,\u201d said the Mother Superior. I replied, \u201cI cannot,\nreverend Mother; it\u2019s too tight.\u201d The nun who was present was told to\nhelp me to get it off. A deep feeling of shame came over me at being half\nnude!\n\nThe Mother then ordered the nun to say the \u201c_Miserere_,\u201d and while it\nwas recited she lashed me several times with all her strength. I was\ndetermined not to utter a sound, but at last I could not restrain a\nsmothered groan, whereat she gave me one last and cruel lash, and then\nceased.\n\nEven three weeks after she had \u201cDisciplined\u201d me, I had a very sore back,\nand it hurt me greatly to lie on it (our beds were straw put into sacks).\n\nThere was a looking-glass in the room I now occupied (nuns do not usually\nhave them), and I looked to see if my back was marked, as it was so sore.\nNever shall I forget the shock it gave me. I turned quickly away, for my\nback was black, blue, and green all over.\n\nI will explain to my readers what \u201cdevil\u201d in me it was that the Lady\nPrioress had been attempting to drive out. You have seen how very unkind\nshe had been to me, and, not daring to speak to her, I made a cake, which\nI knew her to be very fond of, and sent a note with it, begging her to\nbe kind to me; and I told her I was willing to do anything if only she\nwould be kind. I asked what she would have done if kindness had not been\nshown to her, when she asked for readmission to the Feltham convent; and\nI implored her, by the remembrance of that kindness which had been shown\nher, to be kind to me, and I signed myself, \u201cYour loving child, M. A.,\u201d\nor words as near to this as I can now remember. This was the \u201cdevil\u201d I\nhad at this and at all other times. The fact is, that I knew too much\nabout her, which no other sister did, and yet I never even breathed it to\na soul!\n\nOwing to the hard life we had to lead at the convent, I was not at\nall strong; in fact, I frequently felt ill and tired. I was often so\nweary that I could have laid down and willingly died. I often found it\ndifficult to walk downstairs and up again in the middle of the night.\nThe novice-mistress would then sometimes roughly push me, to make me\ngo faster. I would often faint whilst reciting the Psalms aloud, and\ndrop down on the floor, thus always hurting my head. If Father Ignatius\nhappened to be near, they would show me some degree of kindness; but\nif he was away, they would drag me out of chapel and try to make me\nwalk upstairs, or I was roughly pushed or dragged up when I had not the\nstrength to walk. Once I remember they put me out into the sacristy,\nand laid me on the step of the folding door which led to the garden,\nand, opening the door wide, they left me there whilst they went back to\nprayers. I had fainted, and on recovering I would have given anything for\nsome water, but not a drop did they give me. After a while I got so cold,\nand could not move myself, but, notwithstanding my pitiable condition, I\nhad to wait till they came out of chapel. I was only partly dressed, and\nit was in the depth of winter. The next day I could not speak, and had a\nsevere attack of bronchitis.[15]\n\nIt certainly was no temptation to faint, and they must have known I was\nnot shamming, because Father Ignatius, who was always very kind in any\nillness, once brought Dr. Hanson to see me whilst in a faint, who said,\n\u201cIt comes from weakness. This young nun is very weak.\u201d\n\nOnce the Mother Superior actually pinned a large paper in front of me,\nand another on my back. On the latter was written in large letters:\n\u201cJesus\u201d\u2014\u201cMercy\u201d\u2014\u201cPray for me\u201d\u2014\u201cBeware of me.\u201d All through that day I had\nto wear this, and saw the partly hidden smiles, and heard the loud laugh\nof those about me. I did not criticize or make any objection, and tried\nto bear with equanimity this humiliation.\n\nAt another time she wrote a confession for me to copy, sign, and send\nto Father Ignatius. In this confession were these words: \u201cI felt great\nrepugnance to obey, when reverend Mother desired me to give up all the\nletters and books which reverend Father had given me.\u201d This was untrue,\nbut holy obedience compelled me to write the untruth, and I copied the\nconfession out, and sent it over to the monastery. In a few hours the\nreverend Father came over, called a chapter, and quoted what I had\nwritten as a proof that I would not submit to the reverend Mother.\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d I said, \u201cdear Father, I did not feel a repugnance, or let myself\nthink anything; I obeyed at once.\u201d\n\n\u201cThen why did you write this note to me?\u201d\n\nI replied, \u201cThe reverend Mother told me to write it.\u201d\n\n\u201cDid you, dear Mother?\u201d he asked.\n\n\u201cNo!\u201d was her answer.\n\nI then said, \u201cWell, she did not exactly tell me. She wrote the\nconfession, and sent a note telling me to copy and sign it.\u201d\n\nThe reverend Father then said, \u201cGive me her note.\u201d\n\nI said, \u201cI cannot, for she told me to send it back to her directly I had\nread it, and I did so.\u201d\n\nHe then turned to her, and she put on the most innocent face, looking at\nthe same time aghast at me, and groaned:\n\n\u201cOh!\u201d she cried, shaking her head, as if it was too awful to listen to\nme. After a great deal of talking on their part, I was finally dismissed\nwith:\n\n\u201cPoor child! She is not accountable for anything she says. She is quite\npossessed.\u201d\n\nThese words from Father Ignatius, who I thought would at last see how\nunjust she was to me, caused me deep grief.\n\nThis was by no means the first time I had a false confession to copy,\nand send as my own. Mother Cecilia (the Novice-mistress) once gave me a\nconfession, in her writing, to copy and send to the reverend Father. I\nread it, and then knelt down, and kissed the hem of her dress, and said:\n\n\u201cI am very sorry, but I cannot write this, as it is untrue.\u201d\n\nHer reply was, \u201cYou can do anything you are told.\u201d\n\nI then knew that I _must_ obey, and therefore I wrote at the end of the\nconfession:\n\n\u201cDear Father, this is not true, I have only copied it.\u201d\n\nI sealed the letter, and was going to send it, but Mother Cecilia took\nit, read it, and severely lectured me, saying:\n\n\u201cYou have not a spark of the spirit of obedience in you.\u201d\n\nShe often told me to do or say what was not true, and I could not, and\noften I used to cry and say:\n\n\u201cMother mistress, I really do want to be obedient; but that is not true,\nand I cannot write it.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo,\u201d she would tauntingly reply, \u201cI know you cannot. You have plenty\nof sense, you are quick and clever, etc.; but there is one thing you\ncannot do. You cannot give up your will, you cannot do as you are told.\nTherefore you cannot be a nun.\u201d\n\nThe truth was, that they did not want me to become a fully professed\nnun, because, as such, I should have had a voice in the community; and\nhaving been with Father Ignatius so long, I was not afraid of him, and\nused to speak about everything to him, and let him know what otherwise he\nwould not have known. In order, then, to gain their own ends, they must\nfirst lower me in his eyes, and prove by all manner of intriguing that I\nhad \u201cno vocation.\u201d After four years they succeeded in convincing him of\nit, and he finally told me I had no vocation for the \u201creligious life.\u201d\nHe must have been very slow of discernment not to have found that out\nbefore, considering that I had been a sister for seventeen years.\n\nI trust all this will not appear wearisome to my readers. I hope that\nthis book will be read by many who may possibly have very little idea of\nwhat convent life is. On the surface convent life has a great attraction\nfor some minds. When we were in Devonshire, a girl of the name of\nLily W., who lived just opposite the convent, was desperately in love\nwith it, having seen all the glitter and outside show, and heard the\nsweet music and singing, and having seen the bridal ceremony of Sister\nErmenild taking the white veil, and observed the peaceful looks of the\nnuns whom she watched walking in the garden. I would observe here, that\nwhat _appears_ a peaceful look is simply an attitude that rule drills us\ninto. Now, Lily W. thought that convent life must be heaven upon earth.\nThis girl came to us at Llanthony, but she received a very cold welcome.\nShe was given plenty of hard work, was taken no notice of, and had to\nkeep silence all day, like the professed novices and nuns, except during\nrecreation hour. When she had been there three days, she said to me:\n\n\u201cOh, dear! it is all so different from what I thought.\u201d\n\nShe spent her days and nights in sighing and crying, and seemed so\nmiserable that I remarked to the Prioress:\n\n\u201cPoor Lily seems so miserable, and she is always crying and sighing, more\nor less, day and night.\u201d\n\nThe Prioress replied, \u201cServe her right; she should not have pushed\nherself into a hornet\u2019s nest. If people will push themselves into a\nhornet\u2019s nest, they must expect to be stung.\u201d\n\nNuns have said to me more than once: \u201cIf it were not for my vows, I would\nnot stay in the convent another day.\u201d Another has said to me:\n\n\u201cAlas! I often look round and think can _this_ be what I gave up my\nbeautiful home for? If ever a woman came into a convent with a sincere\ndesire to serve God, I did.\u201d\n\nAnd I am sure she spoke the truth. Afterwards she became a hard and\ntyrannical woman; but it was not her fault; for convent life does one of\ntwo things\u2014it either crushes, or hardens its victims.\n\nI assure my readers that convent life must crush every bit of self out of\nits victims. I was crushed by the life, and not seldom felt inclined to\ndrown myself.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER X.\n\n_DAILY ROUTINE AT LLANTHONY._\n\n\nAt 1.45 every morning the sisters are called by the words, \u201cBenedicamus\nDomino.\u201d Each sister must instantly arise, saying, \u201cDeo gratias,\u201d then\nprostrate herself and kiss the floor; and after tidying herself, she\nmust kneel upright with her back toward the bed, in silent prayer, until\nthe first chime of the bell ceases. The nuns then form themselves into a\nprocession, with lighted tapers in their hands, and sing as they go to\nchurch, where they remain, singing, praying, and reciting psalms, etc.,\nuntil 4 a.m. They then retire to their cells, and rest until quarter to\nfive (unless they have the lamentations of Jeremiah to recite, or it is\nLent, for during that season they remain in church from 2 to 6), when\nthey are again awakened by the same words, and have the same routine to\nperform. Then follows the office of \u201cPrime.\u201d If a priest is there, mass\nis said, or sung, after which the \u201cMartyrology\u201d follows, and \u201cprayers\nfor the faithful departed.\u201d We then remain in silent meditation until\nthe Angelus bell is rung, when we sing the \u201cAngelus,\u201d and then form in\nprocession and go to spiritual reading till 8. At that hour the bell\ncalls us to church again, when we recite the offices of Terce and Sext,\nand listen to a meditation. At 8.45 the \u201cPittance bell\u201d rings, and we\nform in procession again, and go into the refectory, where we find\nhalf-a-pint of unsweetened coffee, some dry bread, potatoes, rice or\nporridge, and salt, some of which we _must_ eat, whether we are hungry\nor not. Many a time, like David, have we mingled our bread with weeping,\nand well nigh washed our bed with tears. Of course, the rule about eating\nthis pittance of a meal did not apply to the Superiors, for they had\nwhatever they liked, and had it whenever they liked.\n\nAt 9 o\u2019clock the bell again rings, and we go to the Sacristy and sing,\n\u201cVeni, Creator.\u201d After this the work of the day commences, and real hard\nwork it is.\n\nBut at 12 o\u2019clock (midday) the bell is again rung, and we go to church\nand sing the \u201cAngelus,\u201d and listen to a meditation on the blessed\nSacrament from St. Alphonsus Liguori, etc. We then come out of church and\ngo to chapter, where each sister accuses herself of any fault against\nrule. Should a sister omit anything, or her fellow-sisters consider\nshe has not told everything, it is their duty to say, \u201cI accuse sister\nso-and-so of doing, or saying, or leaving undone, such a thing.\u201d It may\nbe true or false, but the person accused cannot justify herself, while\nthe sister who has accused her is praised for doing so, and is told\nthat it wants great courage to perform such a kindness to her sister.\nSometimes (more often than not) the Superior will keep the sisters there\nan hour or two accusing some sister, whom she has some special spite\nagainst, of faults she never committed or even thought of, and the least\ntransgression of rule is severely punished; while want of true charity,\nand the Superior\u2019s temper, are highly praised as in accordance with the\nwill of God.\n\nBesides these daily \u201cchapters,\u201d each day we had to write down every\ntransgression of rule, and to present the record to the Novice-mistress\nevery Saturday morning. If she felt inclined, she would write two or\nthree more pages of our sins, which of course she knew nothing about.\nThen she would pass these confessions on to the Mother Prioress, who\nwould do a little more scribbling, and then, in turn, pass them on to the\nreverend Father, who would often write underneath, \u201cMost disgraceful,\u201d\nand keep us away from Sunday Communion, and return our books on Monday\nmorning to commence the same thing over again. Chapter being over, we\nwent back to work till three, when the bell rang again for nones.\n\nAt 3.30 the dinner bell rings, and we all formed in procession, said a\nlong grace, and then sat down to our meal, consisting of fish or eggs,\nvegetables, pudding, or soup, and water. On Sundays we had chicken and\npudding. Flesh meat (with this exception) was not allowed except for the\nSuperiors, who had it every day, or twice or even three times a day,\nexcept Friday.\n\nAt 4 o\u2019clock, the \u201crecreation\u201d bell rings, and again we formed in\nprocession, and recited a prayer, offering the silence of the day past\nto God. And now we all must talk, even though we may have nothing to\nspeak about. If we keep silence for five minutes, we are supposed to be\nin a temper, and the erring sister is told to go to her cell till she is\nsent for. At 5 o\u2019clock, the bell again rings; we form in procession, and\ngo to church, and sing Vespers and the \u201cAngelus.\u201d\n\nAt 6 o\u2019clock the tea bell rings. Tea consists of bread-and-butter, or\njam, or treacle, and tea. At 6.30 the bell again rings for conference\n(\u201cLives of the Saints\u201d).\n\nAt 7.30 the bell rings for compline, which often lasts till 9 o\u2019clock,\nfor there is compline to sing, _De Profundis_, prayers for the dead,\nlitany of the blessed Virgin, and hymn and prayers to our holy Father\nSt. Benedict, meditation, and the closing hymn, after which we go in\nprocession, singing \u201cAve, Maria,\u201d to the dormitory, when each sister,\nkneeling at the entrance of her cell, closes her eyes, and sings:\n\n Mother of Jesus, night is come,\n And wearily we fall to sleep;\n Ask Him to guard our cloister home,\n From powers of ill His flock to keep.\n Ave, Maria; Ave, Maria; Ave, Maria.\n\nWe then undress, perform our ablutions, redress, praying at each holy\ngarment we put on; finally we lie down, making the sign of the cross, and\nsaying, \u201cI will lay me down in peace,\u201d etc. The \u201cpeace\u201d is a query. It\nwas more often \u201cI will lay me down in sorrow,\u201d worn out in mind and body,\nand thus closes the peaceful, perfect, sublime, happy, holy day!\n\nIn summer the rule differs a little, and is not quite so strict. But\nduring the season of Lent it is much stricter, and we only have the 9\no\u2019clock pittance, and one meal at 5 o\u2019clock, and we actually rise in the\nmorning at 1.45, and do not rest any more till night. On Ash Wednesday we\nhad nothing to eat or drink until six o\u2019clock in the evening; we stayed\nin church practically the whole of the day. The floor of the church\nis strewn with ashes and cinders from the grates, and we sit on the\nground in the ashes instead of in our stalls.[16] The 6 o\u2019clock meal is\nscarcely touched, as every one is feeling too cold and ill to eat. After\ncompline we have to lash ourselves with the \u201cDiscipline,\u201d and then we\nhave to go to bed unwashed, as a penance for our sins. We are not even\nallowed to shake the ashes out of our serge habits before retiring for\nthe night; to do so would be to break solemn silence, so we actually\nsit in ashes all day, and sleep in them all night. On Good Friday we go\nthrough a somewhat similar day, but the ashes are dispensed with. Every\nday, over and above the divine office and prayer, continual supplication\nfor the conversion of sinners, and for the dead, are offered, each person\ntaking an hour\u2019s watch before the reserved Sacrament, so that the church\nis not left from 5 a.m. till 10 or 11 p.m.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XI.\n\n_ILL-TREATMENT OF CHILDREN._\n\n\nI recollect how a poor orphan boy at Llanthony monastery was almost\nalways in disgrace, and had to endure the \u201cDiscipline.\u201d The lads, when\ndoing penance, were stripped, then laid on a long table, their faces\ndownwards, and lashed for such faults as talking in silence time,\nslamming doors, leaving dust about.\n\nAnother little boy, of nine or ten\u2014motherless\u2014his father a dipsomaniac,\nafter being at the monastery four or five years, was turned out and sent\nto London, to do the best he could, with only 2_s._ 6_d._ in his pocket.\nFather Ignatius said Bertie was a perfect little devil. But I can assure\nthe reader that the end of all the boys was very much like this. Sooner\nor later they are turned out, or else they run away. The two mothers at\nthe Llanthony convent were constantly dropping down on the boys, when\nFather Ignatius was away, for breaking solemn silence, and made even\nthe youngest of them recite the Psalms aloud, after they were tired\nout by the long service of compline. Very little children, I know, had\nconstantly to go without their breakfast as a penance. I remember well\ntwo dear little children, Ada and Alice \u2e3a. They were sent to the convent\nby their father, a tradesman in Hereford, who doubtless thought it a\ngreat privilege to have them there. Alice was only between three and four\nyears of age. Mother Mary Ermenild had charge of them, and she would lash\nthem both with the \u201cDiscipline\u201d[17] for the most trifling offences. I\noften found little Alice holding her arms and crying, and would say to\nher (if no one was near to hear me):\n\n\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, darling?\u201d\n\nShe would hold up her little red arms, and sob:\n\n\u201cMother Ermenild gave me the \u2019splin\u201d (she could not say \u201cDiscipline\u201d).\n\nLittle Ada, too, would constantly be carried to her cell, which was next\nto mine, and there laid on the bed, and lashed on her bare flesh by\nMother Ermenild. When the child cried, she would say:\n\n\u201cIf you don\u2019t stop that noise, I will give it to you harder.\u201d\n\nThen another lash would come, and then another scream, after which she\nwould say:\n\n\u201cAre you going to make any more noise? because I will give it to you\nagain, if you are!\u201d\n\nThe child would say:\n\n\u201cNo, Mother,\u201d and would try to smother her sobs in the bed-clothes.\n\nOnce, being in my cell, I heard this Mother scolding Ada dreadfully, as\na naughty, wicked, disobedient little girl, for touching the ink and\nspilling a little (poor child! she had been trying to write a letter to\nher father, whom she worshipped). The Mother then made this dear child\nlie down, and she gave her seven lashes with the \u201cDiscipline\u201d on her bare\nflesh, in all forty-nine cuts. Later in the day I went to look at the\ntable expecting to find it spoilt, but there was only one spot of ink on\nit, about the size of a pea. On another occasion I heard her lashing this\npoor child, who shrieked so loud that I could not endure it, and I ran to\nher, calling out:\n\n\u201cOh, you\u2014oh, you\u2e3a\u201d\n\nI felt so angry that I did not know what to call her; but I was reported\nto the Lady Prioress, and sent for, and severely reprimanded for daring\nto interfere, and take a child\u2019s part, and call Mother Ermenild names for\npunishing and penancing the child. I was forbidden ever to speak to the\nchildren again on any pretence whatever. This was a great trial to me,\nfor I loved the children dearly.\n\nNow, when Mother Ermenild first came to the convent, she was a sweet\nand gentle girl, but she was first crushed by the life she led, and\nthen, when power was given her, she became as hard and tyrannical as the\nNovice-mistress and the Dame Mary Wereburgh.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XII.\n\n_SOME OF THE LLANTHONY RULES, WITH ACCOMPANYING PENANCES._\n\n\n_Rule 1._\u2014Never to ask for anything that is not necessary.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To be kept without it.\n\n_Rule 2._\u2014Never to ask for anything that is necessary a second time,\nunless permission to do so be granted by the Superior.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To be kept without it.\n\n_Rule 3._\u2014Never to hold possession of, or make use of, anything, unless\ngiven or lent by the Superior.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To hold it up before the Blessed Sacrament for a week, at the\n_Magnificat_.\n\n_Rule 4._\u2014Never to touch or look at a book, letter, or newspaper, unless\nholy obedience compels us to do so.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To wear such article tied round the neck for two days.\n\n_Rule 5._\u2014Never to look at, or speak to, a secular or extern,[18] unless\ncommanded by holy obedience to do so.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To confess it at once, and to repeat exactly what we have said.\n\n_Rule 6._\u2014In speaking to a secular or extern, to do so with eyes fixed on\nthe ground.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To be blindfolded at each office on the following day.\n\n_Rule 7._\u2014Never to go beyond enclosure, or the bounds permitted by holy\nobedience.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To be confined to our sleeping-cell for a week.\n\n_Rule 8._\u2014Never to speak about our Superiors to others.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To confess it at once, and mention what we said.\n\n_Rule 9._\u2014Never to allow criticising thoughts upon the action of a\nSuperior to _dwell_ on the mind.\n\n_Penance._\u2014Not to be allowed to genuflect to the Blessed Sacrament for\ntwo days.\n\n N.B.\u2014To a nun this is an awful penance, as she has been taught\n that the \u201cBody and Blood, Soul and Divinity\u201d of Jesus Christ\n are there present in the reserved Sacrament in the tabernacle.\n\n_Rule 10._\u2014If we have a tendency to criticise a Superior\u2019s wisdom or the\ncorrectness of any action, to believe that thereby our Lord is injured\nand the vocation weakened by such thoughts, since we are under our\nSuperiors in and for the Lord, and that the Lord reveals His will only\nthrough our spiritual Father or Mother.\n\n_Rule 11._\u2014To conceal nothing, even our most inmost thoughts, from the\nabbot, or abbess.\n\n_Rule 12._\u2014Never to repeat anything said to us by our Superiors, unless\ncommanded to do so.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To confess it at once.\n\n_Rule 13._\u2014Never to speak unnecessarily during \u201csilence,\u201d and, when\nnecessary, only while kneeling upon both knees, with the hands under the\nscapular, the eyes fixed on the ground, and the words we speak must be\nuttered in a soft whisper, \u201cfor the Lord is in His holy temple, let all\nthe earth _keep silence_ before Him.\u201d\n\n_Penance._\u2014To recite five psalms at recreation for each breach of this\nrule.\n\n_Rule 14._\u2014To obey the convent bell as the voice of an angel calling us.\n\n_Penance if late for matins._\u2014To recite the whole of the Lamentations of\nJeremiah, kneeling.\n\n_Rule 15._\u2014Never to be late at meals, choir, dormitory, or work.\n\n_Penance._\u2014If late at meals, to eat off the floor; if late for choir,\nto kneel at the door during the office; as to the rest, any penance the\nSuperior likes to impose.\n\n_Rule 16._\u2014Never to speak about home or our earthly relations, except to\nGod in prayer: \u201cForget also thine own people, and thy father\u2019s house; SO\nshall the King have pleasure in thy beauty.\u201d\n\n_Penance._\u2014Any one the Superior LIKES to appoint.\n\n_Rule 17._\u2014To be joyful and ready in our obedience.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To confess it at once, and wear front scapular pinned over the\nleft shoulder for two days.\n\n_Rule 18._\u2014Never to excuse ourselves if in fault.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To kneel in front of the altar, _holding a large crucifix_ at\nevery office, for one day.\n\n_Rule 19._\u2014Never to excuse ourselves, even if unjustly accused of any\nfault, unless it be necessary for God\u2019s glory that the true offender\nshould be discovered.\n\n_Penance._\u2014Same as 18.\n\n N.B.\u2014Our Superiors never did think it for God\u2019s glory that we\n should give any reason or explanation (so that this part of the\n rule is nothing else than a farce). Under this rule they would\n keep us on our knees for hours.\n\n_Rule 20._\u2014To receive the words of our Superior humbly kneeling.\n\n_Penance._\u2014Any one the Superior likes.\n\n_Rule 21._\u2014Never to be demonstrative in our affections, even towards a\nspiritual sister.\n\n_Penance._\u2014Not to be allowed to speak to such sister for any length of\ntime our Superior likes to appoint.\n\n_Rule 22._\u2014To zealously observe our distribution of work, and to do so\nwholly to the glory of God, keeping before us the memory of eternal\nyears, our reasons for entering holy religion, and so to glorify God and\nbenefit His holy Church.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To lose our recreation.\n\n_Rule 23._\u2014Never to touch food or water out of meal times.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To wear a piece of bread tied round the neck for two days, and\nto go without the next meal.\n\n_Rule 24._\u2014To keep our affections and interests perfectly detached from\nall things, so that our whole hearts may be given to the Lord.\n\n_Penance._\u2014If we broke this rule by getting attached to a picture, or any\nother trifle, our Superiors would deprive us of it.\n\n N.B.\u2014If we had anything they especially wanted, they would take\n it from us, as they had (so they said) noticed us breaking\n the rule; and of course we dared not murmur, as that would be\n transgressing our vow of holy poverty.\n\nThe last two of the forty-nine rules are as follows:\n\n_Rule 48._\u2014To read over these observances each day, with the _intention_\nof making them known to our Superior at the close of each week.\n\n_Penance._\u2014To write out the whole of these forty-nine observances at\nrecreation.\n\n_Rule 49._\u2014In confessing our breaches of these observances to state them\nthus, _e.g._: \u201cOn Sunday, I transgressed observance \u2e3a by secretly feeling\nannoyed at being told to do such and such a thing. Jesus only.\u2014\u2018They\nshall go from strength to strength, until they all appear before God\nin.\u2026\u2019\u201d\n\nThese forty-nine observances (with their penances) were given to us by\nthe abbot, and written out for us by him, with about forty-nine others.\nThe Superiors being above the rule, there is no occasion for them to keep\nthem, though they are very, very strict in seeing that their subjects do\nso, and were always dropping down on us at every nook and corner, and\nmaking out that we had broken them, when all the time we were trying our\nbest to keep them.\n\nWe were the slaves; they were the taskmasters, and very hard ones too.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XIII.\n\n_OF WHAT RELIGION IS FATHER IGNATIUS?_\n\n\nI have often been asked this question, and in some respects it is not a\nvery easy one to answer, because Father Ignatius has such a wonderful way\nof being all things to all men. He has stood on the platform and preached\nby the side of General Booth\u2019s wife, and has joined in their processions.\nHe has himself told me that he has gone to a Roman Catholic Dominican\nmonastery, and was welcomed there by the monks under the designation of\nthe \u201cAbbot Ignatius.\u201d He has himself told us not to let poor ignorant\nRoman Catholics know there is any difference between us and them, as they\nwill not know the difference unless they are told.\n\nWhilst we were bid to read the Bible, yet we were taught to regard it\nas giving a clear proof that the monastic life is the highest life on\nearth, and our Lord\u2019s example for such a life was ever put before us:\nwe were taught that He was an enclosed monk from the age of twelve until\nthirty, when He commenced His public life, because there is not a word\nmentioned in the Bible about Him during this period. This was supposed to\nafford a clear proof that the life of a monk or a nun is much higher than\nthat even of a sister of mercy.\n\nThough we were allowed to read a non-Roman Catholic Bible, yet with\nregard to other books we went to Rome for them; such as: \u201cThe Life of\nSt. Teresa,\u201d \u201cLife of St. Gertrude,\u201d[19] \u201cLife of St. Mary Magdalene of\nPiazzi,\u201d \u201cLife of St. Catherine of Sienna,\u201d \u201cLife of St. Thomas Aquinas,\u201d\n\u201cLife of St. Alphonsus Liguori,\u201d \u201cLife of the Cur\u00e9 de Ars,\u201d \u201cThe Diurnal\nof the Soul,\u201d \u201cThe Glories of Mary,\u201d and \u201cThe Paradise of the Earth.\u201d\n\nMany other books from the same source, too many to enumerate here, were\ngiven us by Father Ignatius (and truly a man is known by his books), or\nwere read with his sanction.\n\nHe did not approve of one thing which St. Thomas Aquinas taught; namely,\nthat if a Superior should teach what is sinful or contrary to God\u2019s law,\nthe obedience would be illicit, and the nun would not be breaking her\nvow if she refused to obey. Father Ignatius taught us that he himself\ncould not command what was wrong, because he was the father and founder\nof the revived monastic life in the Church of England. I cannot put this\nmatter any plainer, for I never could quite understand what he meant,\nbut I did foolishly believe he could not tell us to do wrong, because he\nsaid so, and for no other reason whatever. Our Office Book, too, was the\nRoman Catholic \u201cBenedictine Breviary,\u201d and for years the Roman Catholic\n\u201cOrdinary of the Mass\u201d was used at the altar. Lately Father Ignatius\nhas taken a fancy to use the Sarum missal, which seems more elaborate\nthan the Roman ritual. The High Church party is not in great favour with\nhim, and, as a good many of them ignore him, they are put down as \u201cnamby\npamby.\u201d\n\nThe nuns were and are (when there are sufficient to perform the ceremony)\nto be called \u201cNuns of the Perpetual Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.\u201d\nAt present this perpetual adoration is, as a fact, only for certain times\nand great festivals. I will attempt to describe it.\n\nThe altar is for the occasion adorned with about 105 lighted candles.\nThese are intermingled with vases of exquisite flowers. I have known them\nto cost \u00a360.\n\nThe \u201cSacred Host\u201d is always in the tabernacle; but on these days, when\nthe altar is decorated out so finely, the Host is put into a Monstrance,\nand enthroned amidst lighted tapers, flowers, jewels, and clouds of\nincense, and at the sound of sweet music and singing (in Latin) bottles\nof Eau de Cologne are poured over the altar, to be, as he frequently\nsaid, \u201cwasted on Jesus,\u201d like Mary\u2019s alabaster box of ointment. The\ntabernacle is of exquisite beauty and workmanship, with crimson velvet\ncurtains, looped up with massive gold chains, over which is a real\ndiamond cross. The beautiful images of angels have enough bangles hanging\non their arms to set up a jeweller\u2019s shop with, and there is a piece of\ncloth of gold used for the Host, on which are many jewels; one small\ncorner of the cloth alone has, I think, seventeen rings, which formerly\nbelonged to a certain sister. The boys on this occasion are clothed in\nscarlet cassocks, each with a white cotta, trimmed with lace; the abbot\nhimself appears in gorgeous apparel, as also those who assist him. The\nnuns used to wear long white veils down to the ground, over which were\ntheir crimson veils, used only during the adoration of the Host, with\nlong trains. Though these are attractive-looking, yet the weight of about\ntwelve yards of material hanging from the head is anything but pleasant,\nespecially in hot weather; and what with wearing these veils, inhaling\nthe incense, and singing with all one\u2019s power for two hours or more, I\ngenerally had a very bad headache.\n\nAfter the service called \u201cExposition of the Blessed Sacrament,\u201d all leave\nthe chapel, except the monk or nun who remains to take the watch. After\nthis one has remained motionless in prayer for an hour, the great abbey\nbell (which was consecrated to and named St. Bernard) tolls five strokes,\nwhen everybody (no matter where or in what occupation) must kneel down\nand say, \u201cBlessed and praised at every moment be the most holy and\ndivine Sacrament.\u201d Then some one else takes the watch before the reserved\nSacrament for another hour, and this goes on all the day, which closes\nwith the most solemn and gorgeously bewildering \u201cBenediction of the\nSacrament,\u201d more so, I verily believe, than in any Roman Catholic Church\nin England.\n\nAt Christmas the Bambino is the first object of worship and adoration.\nThis Bambino is a beautiful figure of a baby, for which (I have been\ntold) eighty guineas were paid. This figure is laid in the manger at\nmidnight of Christmas, amid much ritual and ceremony, after which we all\nformed in procession, with lighted tapers, veiled in our crimson veils,\nto kiss the feet of the holy Child, which adoration we also performed\nabout nine times on Christmas Day, and every day afterwards until the\noctave of the Epiphany, though not so frequently as on Christmas Day.[20]\n\nAs seculars are not allowed within the precincts of the monks\u2019 or nuns\u2019\nchoir, the right reverend Lord Abbot, vested in cope and mitre, holds\nthe baby in his lap at the grating, for the faithful laity to pay to it\ntheir adoration. If the Abbot should not be there, the Mother Superior,\nMary Wereburgh (otherwise Mrs. B.\u2e3a), represents the Virgin mother, robed\nin a cope of white satin or silk.\n\nWe were not taught to believe in the infallibility of the Pope. Father\nIgnatius had been to Rome and kissed the Pope\u2019s toe, and was very proud\nof it too. There was no need to believe much in the Pope, for Father\nIgnatius and the Lady Prioress were practically our two infallible Popes.\n\nNeither were we taught the doctrine of the immaculate conception of the\nblessed Virgin Mary.\n\nI think, with these two exceptions, we were identical in doctrine with\nthe Church of Rome. And now I leave it to my readers to decide for\nthemselves as to what is the religion of Father Ignatius.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XIV.\n\n_MY DEPARTURE FROM LLANTHONY._\n\n\nThe morning for my departure at last arrived. One of the first thoughts\nthat came to me was, \u201cI wonder if, after all, I am mad, as they tell me\nI am? Perhaps I am, and that is the reason for my leaving.\u201d In solitude\non that morning I made a cup of tea, feeling too ill to eat, but I cut a\nsmall portion of bread and butter, in case I should want it. No one came\nnear me. I thought I should much like to say good-bye to some one, but I\ndared not speak, for it was a period of solemn silence. But I still had\nno small attachment to the \u201cNovice-mistress,\u201d and would have stayed in\nthe convent had I only the assurance that I should be permitted to live\nin peace, for I had been a sister so long, and (strange as it may appear)\nthe life itself had still a certain fascination for me. I did not _then_,\nas I do _now_, so much blame the system, but those who treated me so\nstrangely, and often with cruelty.\n\nAt last I went into the community room, where I knew I should find the\nMother-mistress. On seeing her, I approached her and put my arms round\nher neck, and was about to kiss her, when she shook me off as if I had\nbeen a viper. Had she spoken but one kind word then, my courage to leave\nmight have been seriously shaken. But now hot tears rushed to my eyes.\nI looked straight into her face, and knew I had made no mistake. A few\nminutes after this she sent me a note:\n\n DEAR CHILD,\n\n I could not wish you good-bye; the reverend Mother had\n forbidden me to do so, or even to come near you.\n\nIt was a cold, clear, bright frosty morning, when I left the monastery\nat 7 o\u2019clock. I was driven down that beautiful valley, and how I enjoyed\nthat drive! To my surprise, my conscience did not accuse me of sin in\nthus leaving. The morning air seemed to clear my brain, and I knew with a\nhappy certainty that I was not mad; a feeling of peace with God seemed to\nfill my soul. Such a peace I had not experienced for a very, very long\ntime\u2014so calm, so soft and sweet, so free!\n\nIt was sixteen years and a month since I took my first journey to a\nconvent, and I had not taken a journey since, except when we went to\nDevonshire, and from Devonshire to Llanthony, and then we saw nothing,\nbeing in closed carriages, and having strict orders not to raise our\nveils from our faces. Those veils were thick and heavy, covering our\nfaces, and reaching down far below the chin.\n\nBut I must return to my narrative. I have explained elsewhere, I think,\nthat the Prioress would not allow any of my letters to be sent to my\nsister, in which I had asked for journey-money, and requested that she\nwould meet me, and give me instructions as to my best way of finding her.\nNone of my letters were ever sent. When I left home to go for the first\ntime to the convent, my sister was about seventeen years of age. Since\nthen she had married, and was living near Gloucester. Knowing so little\nabout the world outside a convent, I fancied that if I only asked for\na ticket to Gloucester, I was certain to find my sister. Accordingly,\nwhen we arrived at Llanfihangel, in Wales, I booked to Gloucester. On\nmy arrival I asked the first man I saw with a fly to drive me to the\npost office, as I thought my sister lived near it. Just as I was getting\ninto the fly I thought I had better tell the driver the name of the\nplace where my sister lived. He replied that he had never heard of such\na place; so I inquired at the booking-office, and found I must take the\ntrain to a place some miles beyond Gloucester. On my arrival at this\nplace I went outside the station (it was now dusk) and saw what seemed\nto me a stage-coach, and requested that I might be driven to the post\noffice. When I told the driver the name of the place, he said he could\nnot take me all the way there. \u201cI will take you,\u201d he said, \u201cas near to\nit as I can, and you will then have to walk a few miles farther on.\u201d My\nreaders may imagine what a terror I was in. I began to fancy myself put\ndown in a lonely country road, with no house near, darkness reigning, and\nall this experience coming to one who had been shut up in convents for\nso many years. What was I to do? I was frightened at every one I met,\nand as to a _man_, I feared the whole race. As I was thinking that my\nbest plan would be to try and take the next train back to Wales, I saw a\ncarriage passing near me, in which was a sweet, gentle, pale-faced lady\nin mourning. I ran to the carriage, and said to the lady, tears streaming\ndown my cheeks:\n\n\u201cOh, will you please take care of me for a night, for I am looking for my\nsister, and cannot find her?\u201d\n\nShe said: \u201cDear child, you cannot come with us. Who are you?\u201d\n\nI replied: \u201cI cannot tell you who I am.\u201d\n\nI was so afraid of saying I was one of Father Ignatius\u2019s nuns, knowing\nthat the newspapers might be full of it shortly, and that I should be\nbringing trouble on Ignatius, and scandal on religion.\n\nA gentleman now came up to me and told me to be off, speaking very\nroughly to me. Again I appealed to the lady, assuring her I would go away\nand look for my sister directly the morning came, if only she would take\ncare of me for this one night. The gentleman again told me to be off. But\nthe lady spoke for me, saying:\n\n\u201cWe can\u2019t leave the poor child here, like this!\u201d\n\nI felt grateful to her, though it seemed useless to appeal again. Just\nthen a still, small voice seemed to whisper these words to me: \u201cNever\nmind; you are my child; I will take care of you.\u201d I stopped crying at\nonce, and, looking up to the lady, I said:\n\n\u201cThank you so very much for being willing to take care of me, but never\nmind; I am God\u2019s child, and I know He will take care of me.\u201d\n\nThese words were hardly uttered when the gentleman said, \u201cJump up.\u201d I\nlooked in surprise, and could not think where I was to jump to, but I\nfound he wanted me to jump up and take a seat by the coachman; but I\ncould not manage this, as I was tired, ill, and worn out, and I had\nscarcely tasted food for two days. The gentleman, seeing my inability,\nkindly assisted me, and I was taken care of until I eventually found\nmy sister, who was glad enough to see me. But I was so frightened at\nevery one. Directly I heard a knock at the door I used to run up to my\nbed-room, in case any one should see me, so strong was the force of the\nhabit I had acquired at the convent. My sister thought it disgraceful\nthat I should have been allowed to come out of the convent without even\na change of clothes, especially so when Father Ignatius had begged my\nown dear mother to give me up to him for the service of God, and after\nworking as I had done for all those years. I explained that Father\nIgnatius was on one of his preaching missions, and knew nothing about my\nleaving. She told me to write and ask for some money. Father Ignatius\nsent me two pounds, with which he expected me to buy clothes, to settle\nmyself in life, to pay my journeys, and purchase any other necessaries I\nmight require. Two pounds! Less than half of what he has paid, or allowed\nothers to pay, to purchase one cowl for a monk to wear at meal times\nand in church; less than the sum he has spent to give the Prioress and\nNovice-mistress Christmas presents! Two pounds, after sixteen years of\nhard work!\n\nI stayed with my sister about three months, until I was a little less\nfrightened, and then went to my sister in London. I had to be provided\nwith every article of clothing, for the habit in which I came forth from\nthe convent I had worn for about six winters. I was naturally careful\nand liked to make my \u201creligious\u201d dress last a long time. One habit I had\nworn for nine summers, so really I was never an expensive or extravagant\nnun.\n\nAt this period, my thoughts often went out to my first Mother Superior\nat Feltham; I longed to see her, but for some time I felt afraid to go\nto her or even to write, as Father Ignatius had said so much about the\nmembers of the Feltham convent being under God\u2019s curse, and had made us\nthink that any one who held communication with them would be committing a\ngrave sin. At last, however, I summoned sufficient courage to write and\ntell her that I had left Llanthony. She wrote me a most kind letter, and\nasked me to go and see her; this I did, and told her all my Llanthony\nexperiences. She seemed to take it for granted that I was coming back to\nher, and even asked me plainly _when_ I thought of taking up my abode in\nthe community once more? I told her I had never thought of doing so. I\nmust frankly acknowledge that I had a very deep affection for this Mother\nSuperior, and I did not like to disappoint her, so I arranged to return,\nand after being there four days she allowed me to have the novice\u2019s\nveil, and promised that I might take the black veil in six months\u2019\ntime. I must confess that this Mother, in comparison with the one at\nLlanthony, was kindness itself. I never found at Feltham that one sister\nis permitted to tyrannize over another.\n\nAfter I had been there about three months the reaction came. I compared\nthe two convents, and actually (with shame I say it) was _mad_ enough to\nthink that because the Feltham rule was not strict, therefore the life\ncould not be so perfect! Father Ignatius\u2019s sermons now seemed to come\nback to me word for word, especially all he had taught me on monastic\nobedience and the will of God. I kept thinking it all over, and could\nnot banish it from my memory; I felt convinced that it applied to me,\nthat I had sinned by leaving Llanthony, and was not doing God\u2019s will by\nremaining at Feltham. I found no rest till I had unburdened my mind to\nthe Feltham Mother, and I then implored her to allow me to return. She\nthought it nothing short of infatuation, and reminded me of what I had\ntold her of Mother Wereburgh. However, she left me free to do what I\nthought best, advising me first to write to my sister, and to see her\nbefore leaving Feltham. My sister came, but she could make no impression\non me, and she could not comprehend my conduct. Indeed, I must confess\nI could not understand it myself; for I did not want to return, yet a\nmysterious something seemed to draw me, and force me on against my own\nwill. Some such experience as this occurred to the Nun of Kenmare, for on\npage 29 in her \u201cAutobiography\u201d I read: \u201cI was to all appearances a free\nagent, and I was still young, I had full liberty of choice, yet I felt in\nsome strange way, as I have often felt since, that I had no choice, that\nI was led or moved or influenced by some exterior power.\u201d So was it with\nme in my infatuation for Llanthony: I could not help myself; I seemed\nforced by an invisible yet very real power, which I did not pray against,\nand therefore yielded to.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XV.\n\n_AT LLANTHONY AGAIN._\n\n\nIN the month of August, in the year 1885, I found my way back to\nLlanthony. It was dark when I arrived at the monastery, and on reaching\nit I seemed, for the first time, to realize all this return implied, and\nI now trembled at the thought of going into the convent. I walked round\nabout the building for some time, and then looked in at the kitchen\nwindow. The first sight that came to my view was the Novice-mistress\u2019s\nface, and that of Mother Ermenild, whose face and eyes, seemed swollen\nwith crying. It was now 9 o\u2019clock, and I was wondering as to the best\ncourse for me to take. I dared not go into the convent, I could not stay\noutside all night, and of course I did not like to go to the monastery.\nOf these three evils, I chose the latter, for I was not afraid of Father\nIgnatius. He was always very kind to me, and would not have changed, had\nit not been for the influence which the Mother Superior exerted over him.\n\nTo the monastery porch I went, and pulled the bell. A monk, whose face\nI could not see, came down, and I asked for Father Ignatius. To my\nsurprise, I discovered that it was the reverend Father himself who was\nspeaking to me. He was very kind, but told me I must go to the convent.\nI told him I was too frightened to go. He then asked me what I had come\nback for, if I was afraid to go to the convent. I told him that I had\nintended to re-enter, but when the moment came I had not the courage.\nHe then took me into the Church, giving me the opportunity of telling\nhim why I had gone away. He did not give me one word of blame, except\nabout my going to Feltham, and was most kind. He then left me, and sent\nthe Novice-mistress to me, who did not say much; but the tone of her\nvoice seemed to send a chill through me. The day after, the reverend\nFather again saw me and was very kind, and told me he had given orders\nthat I was to be treated with the greatest kindness. For some few\ndays accordingly I was kindly treated, and soon, at my own request, I\nwas received as a postulant. I did not object to begin the life again\nfrom the lowest step; in fact, I believed more firmly than ever that\n\u201cthe nun\u2019s life is the very highest and nearest to God that any human\nbeing can live on earth.\u201d It was on a Sunday that I was received back\nas a postulant. There were several strangers in the Lady Chapel, and a\nclergyman from Hereford.\n\nOn entering the church I saw on the altar steps a _funeral pall_, and\nthe black altar hangings that are used for the dead. A cold shudder\nran through me as I wondered what they were there for. At last Father\nIgnatius and his brother monks came in and sang the \u201cAdoremus in\n\u00e6ternum sanctissimum Sacramentum\u201d (\u201cLet us for ever adore the most holy\nSacrament\u201d). Ignatius then turned to the grille gates that divide the\nmonks\u2019 choir from that of the seculars, and gave out that before the\nlittle ceremony, which was presently to take place, it might be advisable\nto give a little explanation of the cause thereof. He said:\n\n Our dear little sister has incurred excommunication by holding\n communication with excommunicated members of our Order, _i.e._,\n people who have been cut off from our Society, etc., etc.\n\nThe gates were then opened, a cloth was spread, and I was told to\nprostrate myself upon it. The burial pall was then placed over me, and\nsome prayers were muttered. On rising, Father Ignatius gave me the\nblessing, and the excommunication I had incurred was taken off me. I then\nwent through the same postulant\u2019s service that I had gone through nearly\nseventeen years before. After this Father Ignatius preached a sermon, in\nwhich he highly praised me, saying that I had endured great temptations,\nwhich had caused me to leave the convent, and that he only wondered I\nhad not left before, but that now I wished to return; and he concluded\nby saying, \u201cWe hold out a loving hand to her, for our dear sister has\nhumbled herself, and she shall be exalted.\u201d\n\nAfter this, I was again admitted into community, and the Lady Prioress\nwas for a time kind to me.\n\nOn September 29th I took novice vows again, and Father Ignatius promised\nme, if all went well I should receive the black veil in six months\u2019\ntime. It was shortly after this that Ignatius went away on one of his\npreaching tours, and directly he had left the Prioress made me kneel\nat her feet, and in her old, terrible voice inquired whether or not I\nintended to submit to her, etc., etc. In wonder and surprise at the\nsudden storm that was bursting after so long a calm, I replied: \u201cYes,\ndear Mother, indeed I do.\u201d She haughtily replied, \u201cThat\u2019s a good thing;\nnow we shall soon see.\u201d From that moment she was just as severe as ever\nin her treatment of me. The more I submitted, the more tyrannical she\nbecame. She subjected me to all manner of petty insults and penances,\neven in the presence of little children. I soon felt convinced that it\nwas quite useless for me to submit or even to attempt to live in the\nconvent any longer. I could see plainly that she could never forgive me.\n\nAfter a while I wrote a note to her, as I was not allowed to speak, in\nwhich, to the best of my memory, I used the following words:\n\n If you will only let me rest in peace until Father Ignatius\n comes back, I will then ask his leave to go, as I am convinced\n you do not wish me to stay, and will never be satisfied, no\n matter how submissive I am. I am convinced also that if you go\n on treating me with such severity, I shall in reality become a\n lunatic, for my mind will not continue long to bear this heavy\n strain.\n\nAfter this note she left me alone, and did not again worry me. When\nFather Ignatius came home a few days before Christmas, he sent for me on\nChristmas Eve. I went to him and said:\n\n\u201cDear Father, I am very sorry, but I cannot live with reverend Mother.\nI do not wish to give up serving God, or to break my vows; and if you\nwill send me to another convent, I will gladly go, or to General Booth\n(Ignatius was a great admirer of the Salvation Army). I don\u2019t mind where\nit is so that I am under obedience, and serving God.\u201d\n\nHe replied: \u201cWell, I\u2019ll think over the matter, whether to write to Mr.\nBooth about you, or to write to the Abbess Bertha, and to tell her that\nyou are a very dear child of mine, who has been with me for a great many\nyears, but that you cannot get on with this reverend Mother, and ask her\nif she will take you under her charge for a time.\u201d\n\nHe spoke most kindly to me about it. I then asked him if I might come to\nHoly Communion on the next day (Christmas Day), to which he replied:\n\n\u201cCertainly not.\u201d\n\nLater on he wished me a happy Christmas, though he must have known that\nmy heart was nearly breaking with sorrow and disappointment. I asked no\nmore questions about my leaving, as he had promised to do all he could\nfor me, and I implicitly believed him, and was content to wait patiently,\nasking no questions, striving to do my duty, as a sister, to the best of\nmy ability.\n\nOne evening, soon after this interview, he sent me a note commencing,\n\u201cJesus only.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou are,\u201d he wrote, \u201cto take your habit off to-morrow; you ought to have\ndone so weeks ago\u201d; and he signed it \u201cIgnatius, of Jesus, Abbot.\u201d\n\nThis note surprised me, for I had been patiently waiting his pleasure all\nthis time. Next morning there were not any other clothes put into my\ncell, so I was obliged to put on the nun\u2019s dress again; but in order to\nshow my willingness to obey, I omitted to put on my scapular. When the\nNovice-mistress saw me, she said:\n\n\u201cGo and put on your scapular at once. You ought to be ashamed of\nyourself, causing such a scandal in coming out like _that_.\u201d\n\nI knelt down and kissed the hem of her holy habit, and said:\n\n\u201cMother-mistress, reverend Father said\u2e3a\u201d\n\nBut she would not let me finish the sentence, and interrupted me by\nsaying:\n\n\u201cI know quite well what the reverend Father said; I read the note before\nyou, and _when_ you are told to take your habit off you will do it, and\nnot _before_. Go and put your scapular on.\u201d\n\nI obeyed in silence, and I now knew I should have to undergo a public\nscene. At 12 the bell for a visit to the blessed Sacrament tolled out,\nafter the \u201cAngelus\u201d was sung in Welsh. Nuns, monks, boys and girls, and\nseculars, were all present in the Llanthony Church. Then Ignatius spoke:\n\n\u201cSister Agnes, come down to the grating.\u201d\n\nIn fear and trembling Sister Agnes obeyed. Then, in a sepulchral voice,\nIgnatius said:\n\n\u201cAs in the days of old, after great long-suffering and forbearance of our\nloving God, His patience at last came to an end with His people, so at\nlast, after great patience and forbearance on the part of her Superiors,\nthey must ask Sister Agnes to take off her veil and habit, and lay them\non the altar steps.\u201d\n\nI felt this so acutely, that I sobbed aloud:\n\n\u201cWill you please forgive me, dear Father, for all and whatever I have\ndone wrong.\u201d\n\nAfter which, in the presence of all, I took off my veil, and laid myself\ndown on the altar steps. When I had become somewhat calm, I realized that\na trick had been played on me, and that my Superiors had made me pass\nthrough this ordeal in order to make others believe that I had been, so\nto speak, suddenly cut off by the will of my Superior, and not by my own\nfree will.\n\nIn reality, I had quite of my own free will been waiting for Ignatius\u2019s\nsanction, and the result of his letters to Mrs. Booth and the Abbess\nBertha.\n\nDuring the above scene I reminded Ignatius of his promise to write to the\nAbbess Bertha, but he replied:\n\n\u201cYes, but that was before I knew you were not converted,\u2014when I thought\nyou were a child of God.\u201d\n\nNow I thought I had been converted some fourteen years ago, when I was\nmade to realize so fully that Jesus Christ was my personal Saviour, and\nhad determined, so far as I had light, \u201cto show forth the praises of Him\nwho had called me out of darkness into His marvellous light.\u201d Surely, I\nthought, had I not been converted, I could never have endured all that\nI had suffered during those long years of misery! And had not Ignatius\ntaught me that I could _best_ glorify Him who had washed me from my sins\nin His precious blood by being a true nun? Then I believed that this was\nthe best way of glorifying God; but now I know that I was under a great\ndelusion.\n\nThis scene took place on a Saturday. On Sunday Ignatius told me I must\nleave the convent before 7 a.m. on the following morning, giving to\nthe reverend Mother orders to give me \u00a32, and to supply me with all\nnecessary clothing. I sent this message back:\n\n\u201cI do not need anything at all; but will the reverend Mother please let\nme have the box of clothes I brought back with me.\u201d\n\nAfter some hours the box was sent to me with my clothes all turned about,\nand with the following message:\n\n\u201cThe reverend Mother was obliged to look over your clothes, to see what\nyou wanted.\u201d\n\nI found that she had put two old table napkins full of holes, in the\nbox, two old towels full of darns, and two coarse tea cloths (which\ntreasures I keep to this day), a petticoat; and besides these she gave\nme permission to keep a new habit. I examined closely the contents of\nmy box, and found that a dictionary, a quantity of fine linen and other\nthings had been taken from it. I asked her for the linen, saying that I\nhad bought it with money my brother had given me before I returned. She\nsent back this message:\n\n\u201cTell her I have taken nothing but what belongs to me.\u201d\n\nI imagined she meant that as I had taken the vow of poverty, she had\na right to give or retain whatever she liked. After I had taken my\ndeparture, I wrote for my things, but I never received an answer.\n\nThis was the second time I had left convent life, which had so often been\ndescribed to me as \u201cangelic.\u201d I had endured quite enough of its misery.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XVI.\n\n_APPARITIONS AND MIRACLES._\n\n\nIt will be as well, before making the very few remarks I am able to give\non the alleged \u201capparitions at Llanthony,\u201d that I should give my readers\na few extracts from Father Ignatius\u2019s oration on the subject, which was\ndelivered on Tuesday evening, May 5th, 1885, at, as far as I recollect,\nWestminster Town Hall. This oration was based professedly on Hebrews xii.\n1: \u201cWherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of\nwitnesses,\u201d etc. It would appear from this oration that Ignatius looks\nupon the alleged supernatural events at Llanthony as affording witness to\nthe truth of nineteenth century Christianity. Let Ignatius tell his own\nstory:\n\n _Apparition 1._\u2014On Monday, the 30th of August, 1880, Brother\n Dunstan went as usual, at 9 o\u2019clock, into the church to take\n his watch before the blessed Sacrament. He was kneeling about\n twenty feet from the altar. At the south side of the altar\n there is a large window, which was not then filled with stained\n glass, and consequently a bright light shone upon the altar.\n The brother who left the watch had no communication with the\n sister who next came in to take her watch. She (Sister Janet)\n had been a schoolmistress in the neighbourhood for many years,\n and was now an associate of our Order.\n\n The brother had been half an hour at his watch, when he raised\n his eyes and saw, in front of the tabernacle, a kind of blue\n mist playing. As he looked at the mist, he thought that his\n eyes must be affected, and he rubbed them, thinking it was\n an illusion; but as he still looked, the mist thickened and\n densified, until he saw the Monstrance, or silver vessel which\n contained the Host, within the tabernacle glimmering in the\n mist, outside the massive door of the tabernacle, which was\n locked. This door is of iron, nearly an inch thick. The key was\n in my cell, which I had not left that morning because I had\n been very unwell, and had had a good deal of writing to do.\n\n The mist gradually cleared away, and then the sacred vessel\n containing the Host was plain before the brother\u2019s eyes, and\n the sunlight in the window flashed upon it. He saw this for\n half an hour, and, on leaving his watch, still looked upon the\n vision as he went out.\n\n Sister Janet then came in to take her watch, and knelt down, as\n usual, at the screen in the outer church. When she looked at\n the altar, she saw the same appearance; but she did not dream\n of its being supernatural; she imagined only that the blessed\n Sacrament was exposed for some reason or other; but she was\n much astonished to find that the Host was exposed without the\n usual signs of reverence and devotion which we always render\n when we have our three expositions in the year.\n\n We only have the Host exposed three times a year, and they are\n very solemn occasions; and we pay our Lord a great deal of\n honour during those days. On this occasion there was no light\n burning, there were no flowers, and the sister was consequently\n much astonished, knowing how particular we are in these matters\n of detail and reverence. Directly her watch was over at 11\n o\u2019clock she went to the monastery porch, rang the bell, and\n asked to see the brother who had taken the watch before her.\n When he came to the grating, she said: \u201cWhy has the reverend\n Father left the blessed Sacrament out?\u201d\n\n When she had explained precisely what she had seen, and Brother\n Dunstan knew that the tabernacle had not been opened, he at\n once came to my cell to tell me what had happened.\n\n I suggested that we should go to the church. When we went in,\n the apparition had disappeared.\n\n _Apparition 2._\u2014In the evening (of the same day) after vespers,\n the choir-boys were in the meadow playing. All at once the\n noise of the game was stopped, and in a very short time one of\n the boys came running up to my cell, soon followed by others,\n saying: \u201cFather, we have seen such a beautiful spirit in the\n meadow.\u201d The eldest boy, who was fifteen years old, said he\n was certain that what they had seen was the blessed Virgin\n Mary\u2014quite certain. He said that first of all, as he was\n waiting for his turn to run in the game, he was looking towards\n an old ruined hut, where there had been a farm-house, and he\n saw a bright light over the hedge and the figure of a woman,\n with hands upraised as if in blessing, and with a veil over her\n face, coming to him. He stood still, and was much astonished\n and alarmed. The figure came almost at right angles to him, and\n then she passed close enough even for him to see the material\n of the garments that she wore. The figure passed off at right\n angles, and stood in a bright light in a bush about fifty feet\n from the boy. The bush was all illumined with phosphorescent\n light. The figure passed through the bush, and the light was\n there for some little time after the form had disappeared. The\n rest of the boys saw and described the same appearance.\n\n I had all the boys in the church, where I spoke solemnly to\n them, separately, and heard what they had to say. I told them\n what an unlikely story it was, and that no one would believe\n them; and I asked them what could have put it into their heads\n to think such a thing.\n\n But they still maintained that what they had said was true.\n\n We watched Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings\n after that.\n\n Unfortunately I had to leave Llanthony on the Saturday, being\n under a promise to take the duty for a clergyman in the diocese\n of Exeter, where we had a convent at that time; but I left\n strict orders that the brothers and boys should watch every\n night at the same time, about eight o\u2019clock, and then write to\n me, telling of any experience they might have.\n\n On Saturday night, Sept. 4th, the boys were out playing as\n usual, when, all at once, the same bush became illuminated with\n a very bright light. One boy called out, \u201cThe bush is on fire\n again!\u201d\n\n For some time they watched the light; then they ran to the\n monastery to call out an elder brother.\n\n In the meantime a junior brother had come out, had knelt down\n in the meadow before the illuminated bush, and had begun to\n say prayers and hymns. The boys were indignant because he was\n saying collects and hymns that had no relation to what they\n considered the vision to be, and they said: \u201cDo not say those\n prayers, but say a \u2018Hail, Mary\u2019; for we are certain it was the\n blessed Virgin. If we do, our Lord will perhaps let the vision\n appear again.\u201d\n\n While they were discussing, the senior brother came up, and\n he agreed that they should begin to sing \u201cAve, Maria.\u201d That\n instant the figure flashed again, in a cloud of light, in the\n same place where the first boy had seen it on the Monday.\n\n As they sang, the figure sent out rays of light, sometimes\n appearing behind and sometimes in front of the hedge, and\n sometimes coming straight towards the illuminated bush. When\n they said the words in the \u201cHail, Mary,\u201d \u201cBlessed is the fruit\n of thy womb\u2014Jesus,\u201d they saw a second figure as of a man, with\n only a cloth round his loins, appearing in the light, with his\n hands stretched out.\n\nFather Ignatius returned from Devonshire to Llanthony on Tuesday,\nSeptember the 14th, and on that night, he says, \u201cwe watched, but saw\nnothing.\u201d But, in the words of the oration, Ignatius thus describes the\nscenes of the following night:\n\n On the 15th of September, between eight and a quarter-past\n eight, we watched again. It was a very close, muggy evening.\n There was a heavy Scotch mist descending, and the mountains\n were looking very dull and the sky leaden. It was so damp that\n we did not go into the meadow; but Sister Janet, who was not\n allowed to come to the monastery door where we were standing,\n went into the meadow.\n\n We were in the monastery porch. The boys were standing on the\n front steps; I was standing on the top step; one brother was\n at my left, and another brother on my right. Two farmers were\n behind in the back of the porch; and a gentleman visitor\u2014an\n undergraduate of Keble College, Oxford, now in Holy Orders\u2014was\n a little behind me to the right.\n\n I suggested that we should sing three \u201cHail, Mary\u2019s,\u201d in honour\n of each person of the blessed Trinity. We began a \u201cHail, Mary\u201d\n in honour of God the Father.[21] Between the \u201cHail, Mary\u2019s,\u201d\n we, all of us, expressed our amazement at some very curious\n flashings of light, which we saw in all directions in the\n meadow, like the outlines of figures. That was the impression I\n had.\u2026\n\n I then said, \u201cLet us sing a \u2018Hail, Mary,\u2019 in honour of the\n blessed Virgin herself;\u201d and we began to chant the fourth\n \u201cHail, Mary.\u201d\n\n Directly we began to do so I saw a great circle of light flash\n out over the whole heavens, taking in the mountains, the trees,\n the ruined house, the enclosure, the monastery, the gates and\n everything; the light flashed upon our feet, upon the steps,\n and upon the buildings; and from that one great circle of\n light, small circles bulged out, and, in the centre of the\n circles, stood a gigantic figure of a human being, with hands\n uplifted, standing sideways.\n\n In the distance this gigantic figure appeared to be about\n sixty feet in height; but as it descended it took the ordinary\n size of a human being. At the moment it struck me that a dark\n appearance over the head of the figure was hair, not a veil;\n but I am convinced from comparing notes with the others, and\n also from other reasons, that it was a veil which I saw over\n the head.\n\nIgnatius, after mentioning that the two brothers, and Sister Janet had\nseen the same vision (he does not mention whether the farmers saw it),\nsaid: \u201cFrom that time no further visions appeared.\u201d\n\nTwo important reasons Ignatius then gave for \u201cour Lord\u201d giving these\napparitions.\n\n1. \u201cFor the good of the Church of England.\u201d\n\n2. \u201cFor the comfort of those in the outer world.\u201d\n\nFather Ignatius, in his oration, gave an account of his sending, a few\ndays after this memorable apparition, to each of his nuns at Slapton,\nin Devonshire, \u201cpieces of a wild rhubarb leaf, which had stood up dark\nagainst the dazzling garments of the apparition, as it appeared in the\nbush.\u201d[22]\n\nHe then went on to describe how a certain nun at Slapton, \u201ca middle-aged\nlady,\u201d who had been a cripple for thirty-eight years, was healed by\napplying the said charm to her diseased limb. I will give you his own\naccount of this supposed miracle.\n\n On Tuesday, Sept. 21st, 1880, just seven days after the last\n apparition had been seen, she was quivering from head to foot\n with pain. She was going to lie down without lifting her\n diseased limb with the other limb on the bed, when something\n told her to use the leaf, which she had put, wrapped up in an\n envelope, in her pocket. She took the leaf out. She took the\n rosary and said ten \u201cHail, Mary\u2019s\u201d; and, at the end of the\n \u201cHail, Mary\u2019s,\u201d she took the piece of leaf and laid it upon\n these painful abscesses. The very instant the piece of withered\n leaf was laid upon the abscesses they closed up and the\n discharge ceased; her knee was loosened at the joint, her foot\n was on the ground, and she was cured instantaneously.\n\n The next morning she told and showed the reverend Mother\n and her sister nuns the miraculous wonder of God\u2019s infinite\n goodness towards her; and the news quickly spread in the\n village.\n\n The vicar of the parish came to the convent, and the village\n people rang the village bells, for they were very fond of the\n nuns; and, in a day or two, there was a service of thanksgiving\n in the Priory Chapel, for the miracle that God had wrought.\n There was also an account in the local papers of what had taken\n place.\n\nFather Ignatius then mentions other miracles of healing that were, he\naffirms, wrought by the use of the withered rhubarb leaf. The following\nwords may be interesting to some of my readers; they appear at the close\nof the oration:\n\nTo sum up, then:\n\n A solemn, public testimony has now been given to a most\n startling, supernatural phenomena, in a _Church of England\n monastery_, in the midst of this unbelieving, materialistic age.\n\n By these phenomena the mysteries of Christianity have been\n solemnly confirmed; and the Word of God has received one more\n \u201c_So be it_.\u201d\n\n The Church of England has been supernaturally recognised as\n a true portion of the Catholic Church, and her Sacraments\n acknowledged by a miracle.\n\n The monastic revival, long persecuted[23] because of the two\n special points above alluded to, viz., the restoration of the\n reserved Sacrament, and the cultus of the mother of our Lord,\n have now received a sanction from on High, by these marvellous\n manifestations.\n\n English Churchmen have received from God a special approval for\n their ancient Church, in spite of her sadly isolated position.\n\nHaving thus given, in Father Ignatius\u2019s own words, an account of the\nalleged apparitions and miracles, I feel sure many will naturally ask me\nfor my opinion of them. My opinion is simply this: I believe something\nwas seen which Ignatius really did believe to be supernatural, but which\nappearance I firmly believe to have been nothing more or less than a\npractical joke performed by a certain young man, who never intended it to\nbe taken for anything supernatural, in the serious manner with which it\nwas taken.\n\nWith regard to the vision of the \u201cSacred Host,\u201d I simply do not believe\nit at all. I believe that one of them imagined it, and told the other\nabout it in some way, and that that other was only too ready to believe\nit. This is my firm conviction about the matter, and I hope that as I am\nno longer a nun I have not only the right to have an opinion of my own,\nbut also a right to express it.\n\nDuring my sojourn at Llanthony, I never saw anything supernatural,\nalthough there were some who ofttimes tried to work my mind up to such a\nstate, that it was with difficulty something of the kind was not forced\nupon my heated imagination.\n\nI recollect a somewhat ridiculous circumstance in this direction, that\noccurred on the \u201ceve\u201d of the \u201canniversary of the apparition of our Lady\nof Llanthony.\u201d\n\nWe were watching the procession of the Shrine, and its accompanying and\nsubsequent rites, when suddenly the reverend Mother exclaimed:\n\n\u201cI see something; it\u2019s moving!\u201d\n\n\u201cWhere?\u201d I asked, \u201cfor I cannot see anything.\u201d\n\nThe Mother then pointed to the \u201cAbbot\u2019s Meadow.\u201d There _was_ something\nmoving slowly, and I watched for a few moments, and then said:\n\n\u201cWhy, it is the cow, with patches of white on her.\u201d\n\nAnd so it was, as she was obliged to acknowledge. This Mother I believe\noften professed to see visions, and dream supernatural dreams; and I\nmight have thought that I saw visions, but being somewhat of an inquiring\nand matter-of-fact turn of mind, I preferred to be very cautious, and\ncarefully sifted everything that had any appearance of the miraculous\nabout it. For instance, I was once kneeling at the prayer-desk before\nthe \u201caltar,\u201d supposing myself to be quite alone in the church; when I\nsuddenly saw the curtains at the back of the \u201caltar\u201d gently moving for\nsome time, and I wondered what this movement could mean. Then all was\nall quiet again, and I resumed my devotions, thinking that possibly I\nhad only fancied it. Suddenly, behind the flowers and candlesticks,\nI beheld a face, and I began to tremble, and feared even to look up\nagain; but at last I did so, and I beheld the reverend Mother, who was,\nI believe, engaged in dusting. Now if I had been half asleep, I might\neasily have imagined I had seen a vision of a departed saint; and I think\nthe semi-darkness in which the sanctuary was enveloped, together with the\nsoft rays of the ever-burning sanctuary lamp, can with little difficulty\nlead the devotee to imagine the supernatural, especially as we were\nalways taught that on the \u201caltar,\u201d that miracle of miracles, or rather\nthat imposture of impostures, took place in the transubstantiation of\nthe bread and wine, into the body, blood, soul, and divinity of the Lord\nJesus Christ.\n\nBut to return to the apparitions, an account of which I have already\ngiven, and about which I have stated shortly my opinion.\n\nI was at Slapton, in Devonshire, at the time they took place, and\ntherefore I only heard what the boys had told Father Ignatius.\n\nHe asked us all: \u201cDo you believe them?\u201d\n\nThe other nuns said, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\nFather Ignatius then said: \u201cDo you believe them, Sister Agnes?\u201d I\nreplied, \u201cNo, dear Father, of course I don\u2019t. I never believe anything\nthe boys say.\u201d\n\nI had a particular dislike to the monastery boys, and I had often heard\nfrom the reverend Father what lying boys some of these very ones were,\nand as to \u2e3a he scarcely ever spoke the truth.\n\nThen, as to poor Sister Janet, she was certainly very eccentric and\npeculiar, and when any one injured her she usually threatened to \u201ccall\nup the ghost\u201d of her dead father. She once thus threatened a man, and a\npriest, knowing of it, disguised himself, and frightened the poor man so\nmuch, that he refused to go back to the hut where he lived. Apart from\nthis she had her good points, and was Father Ignatius\u2019s devoted slave.\n\nAs you will have noticed, the reverend Father was at Slapton Convent\nduring most of the time when the said apparitions took place, and he\nheard of the visions through the letters of the brother at Llanthony, and\nI believe he was the only brother at Llanthony at the time, and he was\nbut a novice-monk.\n\nFather Ignatius read the letters to us, and I hardly knew what to make\nof the matter; but at last the reverend Father returned and saw for\nhimself the most marvellous and glorious vision, after which I very\nnaturally\u2014considering my state of mind at that period of my life\u2014thought\nit must be true, which in a sense was fortunate for me, for on his next\nvisit he again asked me if I believed in it, and I remember well I\nreplied:\n\n\u201cYes, certainly, dear Father, I do not doubt _your_ word.\u201d\n\nHe then told us that he was determined that no one should stay in\nmonastery or convent who did not believe in it.\n\nAnd now a word or two about the story of the \u201cmiddle-aged lady,\u201d\notherwise the Novice-mistress, the account of whose miraculous cure I\nhave already given in the words of Father Ignatius.\n\nTo begin with, that account differs somewhat from the one I can give;\nbut as I am matter-of-_fact_ in my statements, I think it best to give\nthe facts as I know them, for I was one of the Slapton _nuns_ at the\ntime. Yes, I was a _nun_ then, although life-vows had not been pronounced\nby me; I was what is termed a \u201clife-vowed novice,\u201d that is, in making\nmy vows I made them \u201cuntil the time of my profession.\u201d But I have in a\nprevious part of this book explained that novice-vows were to all intents\nand purposes well nigh as binding as those made in full profession.\nI merely give this explanation to show you the position I was in at\nthat period when at Slapton. Father Ignatius, in his oration on the\napparitions speaks of me as a nun, for, in touching upon the healing of\nthe Novice-mistress in the Slapton Convent, he said:\n\n\u201cNext she told and showed her sister nuns the miraculous wonder\u201d; _i.e._,\nthe withered rhubarb leaf. Now, as a matter of fact, she neither told\nthe nuns, nor showed to them this great wonder; she may have showed and\ntold the Mother Prioress, but no one else.\n\nThe Vicar of Slapton came to celebrate, and spoke of the wondrous miracle\nwhich had taken place in our midst. (I believe this was on a Saturday,\nand the miracle of healing had taken place on the previous Tuesday.)\n\nNow, certainly we had been more or less with her all this time, and yet\nwe knew nothing about it; so when the Slapton Vicar gave his address, I\nwas very puzzled to know what he meant.\n\nWhen the celebration was over, and we had come out of the Chapel, I asked:\n\n\u201cWhat did the Vicar mean?\u201d and I said to the Mother, \u201cHave you really\nbeen cured Mother mistress?\u201d (It was then that I discovered that only the\nMother Prioress knew of it.)\n\n\u201cYes; have you not noticed it,\u201d she replied.\n\nI had to confess that I had _not_ noticed it, and, what is more, I never\ndid, for she still limped, and still does. In fact, I once said, \u201cMother\nmistress, is it not strange that our Lady did not quite cure you? It\nwould have been so much nicer if she had!\u201d She replied, \u201cYes, but I must\nbe grateful for what she has done.\u201d\n\nNow I really did then believe she had done something, but what it really\nwas I could not make out, as I saw no difference in her whatever. In\nfact, many times have I seen the poor nun flushed with pain at the\nexertion of moving. Most probably the abscess had run its course and\nclosed naturally just about the time when the rhubarb leaf arrived;\nand as to the raising of the limb which she had been unable to do for\nthirty-eight years, we all know how easy it is for some persons to\nimagine almost anything. But all I have to say is, she was about the same\nwhen I last saw her as when I first saw her; and if any one went to see\nher, they would see for themselves that she still limps. While she was\na novice, she had a bad attack, after which a crutch was procured for\nher, which she used once or twice, and then went back to her old stick;\nbut both crutch and stick had been given up long before the apparitions,\nthough occasionally she would take the stick to go up the hill with, to\nthe summer-house (and I often wished I had one, for it was a tiring\nclimb). Nevertheless the stick and the crutch are now laid at the \u201cShrine\nof our Lady of Llanthony\u201d as \u201c_memorials of God\u2019s wonders_!\u201d\n\nI remember how I have looked at this stick and crutch, and thoughts\npassed through my mind which I need not mention.\n\nSince I finally left the convent, I have been told that a certain young\nman acknowledged to a priest that he had enacted the whole of the\napparition with a magic lantern, and that the priest had written to\nFather Ignatius, advising him not to say anything more on the subject,\nor else he would make known how the whole thing came about, or words to\nthis effect. Probably the young man was the railway clerk, who witnessed\nthe boys\u2019 excitement on the subject, for nowhere do you hear of his\nhaving seen the apparition himself. Doubtless he was too busy amusing\nthe others. Now I do not say positively the apparitions were produced\nby a magic lantern, but I was told so, and I think this is the general\nopinion.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XVII.\n\n_LIBERTY._\n\n\nI cannot but add a chapter in which I shall especially endeavour to give\na word of counsel and warning to all who may in any degree be looking\nupon convent life, whether in the Church of England or in the Church\nof Rome, with a favourable eye. I may say sincerely this book has been\nwritten with this object. And if, in doing what seemed to me so bounden\na duty, I have hurt the feelings of any who are mentioned in its pages,\nit was not with the object of doing so that I was led to speak out the\ntruth. My prayer for them is that they may be brought out into the same\nliberty that I, through God\u2019s infinite mercy, am now in the enjoyment of.\nI can truthfully say that in doing this I have fully counted the cost,\nand it _has_ already cost me no small amount of pain. I have spoken the\ntruth, and I have endeavoured to do so in no vindictive manner, but in\nlove. Distinctly this book has been written to warn all against making\nthe terrible mistake in life that I made. Had I but listened to and\nobeyed my mother, her advice would have saved me from wasting (I can use\nno other word, though God will doubtless overrule this mistake for my\nown good, and for the good of others) the best and youngest years of my\nlife, and have prevented me from enduring years of mental suffering and\nmisery. But when I went astray on the path that seemed so attractive and\npleasant, I was very young; I was but fifteen years of age, and like, I\nfear, so many young and inexperienced people, I was foolish, self-willed,\nand fancied that I was better able to judge for myself than others were\nto judge for me. And so I was led to deliver myself over to the tender\nmercies of High Church Fathers and Mothers. I was simply bewitched\nby their \u201cfair speeches,\u201d high professions of sanctity, and solemn\nassurances of the happiness belonging to the cloistered life.\n\nWhen I think of such \u201cfalse prophets,\u201d I am forcibly reminded of the\nwords we read in 2 Timothy iii. 6:\n\n Of these are they that _creep into houses_, and take captive\n silly women, laden with sins, led away by divers lusts, _ever\n learning_ and _never_ able to come to the knowledge of the\n truth.\n\nI was led by Ignatius to believe that by my action I was doing God\u2019s\nwill, and that by leaving my home and relations I was but obeying the\ncommand of Christ to \u201cleave all and follow Him.\u201d Was there ever such an\nabsurdity as this? I was not called to go on a mission to the teeming\nmillions living in heathen darkness, and take to them the Gospel of God\u2019s\ngrace; nor yet to work amongst the heathen in our own large towns; but\npositively to make myself a prisoner in one particular house, to be shut\nup where I could engage in no Christian or even philanthropic labour,\nand in _such_ an isolated position I was told over and over again that I\ncould live the highest, the holiest, and the happiest life on earth, and\nwithal, bring down to the world around me blessings and health through\nthe merits of \u201choly obedience.\u201d I was taught that I could bless, and be\nmade a blessing to others, by \u201ctelling the beads,\u201d \u201cinvoking the saints,\u201d\n\u201cconfessing sins to man,\u201d by \u201chearing mass,\u201d and by \u201creciting various\noffices.\u201d What incredible folly!\n\nOn looking back, I find how great was my delusion, and I do heartily\ntrust that my experience of this folly may be the means of saving girls\nand boys, men and women, from wasting so much precious and God-given\ntime, which it was my sad lot to lose. I sowed the seed of blind\nenthusiasm, and reaped the harvest of untold misery, and blighted hopes.\nAll the high-flown promises (which I so greedily swallowed) of the joy,\nthe glory, the peace, the happiness of the nun\u2019s life, are _false_\npromises and vain delusions. Certainly at one of the three convents in\nwhich I resided it was (as some of the sisters have said) \u201clike living in\na bear-garden.\u201d\n\nI do from the depths of my heart thank God for delivering me out of the\n\u201cbear-garden,\u201d and I pray that He will deliver others, and give them\ncourage to \u201ccome out.\u201d\n\nIt needs some courage to enter, but a hundred times as much to leave. I\nfear in many convents, humanly speaking, it is, after full profession,\nalmost an impossibility to do so, for, as I have said, the moral bolts\nand bars are even more difficult to break through than the material\nones; and these latter are, especially in Roman Catholic convents, not\nfew or easily to be broken through. During all the years spent by me\nin nunneries I cannot look back to _one_ sister, and say I know she\nis happy, that she has found _true_ peace and satisfaction; but I can\nrecollect the many who were disappointed at finding the life so utterly\ndifferent from what they had been led to expect.\n\nAlas! alas! When once we have taken up the \u201cgolden plough,\u201d there is\nvirtually no \u201clooking back.\u201d When once we have made our choice, we must\nabide by it. Many I know bitterly regret that they ever put their hands\nto this golden or, rather, this _gilded_ plough.\n\nIf nuns were only free, and not conscience-bound, they would tell the\nself-same, true story which I do. But alas! they dare not speak, they\neven scarcely dare to think for themselves. Their reason has been given\nup to their Superiors (do remember this), and they have no right to\nthink anything but what their Superiors think.\n\n It is not your place to think, but to obey.\n\nThese words were often spoken to us. And again:\n\n A nun is always sure of doing God\u2019s will, because her\n Superior\u2019s voice is God\u2019s voice to her, and even should I, your\n Superior, tell you to tell a lie (which of course I should\n not), you would be committing the sin of disobedience if you\n did not do as you were told.\n\nI recollect well that a certain dear young sister was told to tell what\nshe believed to be a lie. She was in great distress about it, and went to\nthe Mother Superior we then had, telling her that she did not know what\nto do, as she must either commit the sin of lying or of disobedience.\n\nWhen a monk or nun is under vows, such a man or a woman is but a _tool_\nto be used as the owner of that tool sees fit. Individuality is sunk\nin the order in which such vows have been made. Practically, men and\nwomen under vows (and it matters not whether these vows are made in\nthe established Church of England or in the alien Church of Rome) are\n_dead_\u2014dead to the world, dead to father, mother, sisters, brothers and\nfriends; above all, dead to the \u201cstill small voice\u201d of an enlightened\nconscience which once had power to speak. Yes, they are _dead_ in another\nsense of the word, for have they not, knowingly or unknowingly, committed\nan act of moral suicide? They are no longer responsible beings. They\nhave given up their souls, their bodies, their wills, their consciences\nand reason itself into the hands of their Superiors, who from the\nmoment those terrible vows are taken are to them in the place of God;\nand whatever command the Superior gives, _that_ must they obey without\nquestion and blindly. And should one Superior give a sister over into the\nhands of another (as was the case with me), then that one must be obeyed\nwith the same blind obedience. We were taught by the Superior:\n\n If the order given is sinful, that is _my_ sin, and you are\n not responsible; but you would be guilty of greater sin in not\n obeying, because it would be the sin of disobedience, and God\n hates that sin more than any other, because it was the sin that\n brought death into the world, and it will bring death to your\n soul.\n\nSuch being the case, we may define a nunnery as a place where slaves drag\non a weary existence day and night. Whilst the slave-owners do their own\nsweet wills, we, their slaves, must idolatrously bow down to them, kiss\nthe hems of their holy garments, and obey without a murmur. Murmuring at\nour condition is most strictly forbidden.\n\nIndeed, should the relatives or friends of a poor nun go to the convent\nand there hold converse with her, that conversation must be held only\nthrough a grating, and (in our case, at any rate) the nun must have her\nface closely veiled. And even then it would not be possible to lodge a\ncomplaint with one\u2019s relative or friend, or even with one\u2019s own mother,\nsince another nun is usually sent to listen. Thus it is that we were\noften forced to appear perfectly happy, when, in truth, we were just the\nopposite.\n\nI have had thus to appear when speaking to my own sister; my heart at\nthat time was well nigh breaking. But should a nun complain, the training\nshe has gone through would cause her to be very distressed in mind\nat having been unfaithful enough to bring scandal upon the so-called\n\u201creligious life,\u201d and she would feel bound to confess it at once to her\nMother Superior.\n\nI should have written this account of my experiences of convent life some\ntwo years ago, had I not then feared that by doing so I should be doing\nmore harm than good, by exposing to the outside world what a farce and\nsham some who make so much profession are, to say nothing of what a farce\nthe whole system is.\n\nBut, little by little, I have become more free from the chains which held\nme, and I now trust that this book will do more good than harm by saving\nothers from being led away by the power of Satan, for I believe it to\nbe through Satanic influence that this system exists. I sincerely hope\nthat this book will be read in the spirit in which it is written, and\nthat thus it will be the means of saving many parents from heart-breaking\nseparations from their beloved children.\n\nI would ask those who are not believers in Christianity not to use it\nin order to bolster themselves up in their atheistical views, or to see\nin it a proof of the fallacy of true religion. Although I have given\nup convent religion, yet I am a firm believer in God. I believe that\nthe Lord Jesus Christ died and rose again to atone for and save His\npeople from their sins, that the Holy Spirit can and does give to all\nwho believe in Christ a new and a clean heart, and grace to walk in the\nfootsteps of the Saviour.\n\nHowever misguided I was when I entered in my convent life, yet I was\ninduced to do so because I had a deep love to my Saviour, and thought I\ncould not in a better way prove my love and increase it.\n\nBut who can be surprised at a young girl being deluded and led astray\nwhen \u201cfalse prophets\u201d arise, who _profess_ so much holiness and so great\nand exact a knowledge of God\u2019s will?\n\nMany there are, like myself, who have been misdirected and deceived by\nritual, candles, flowers, incense, gorgeous vestments, genuflexions,\nsentimental music and sermons, and I know not what other nonsense. I was\nseeking Jesus. I asked for bread, but I was given a stone. For a time the\nexcitement arising from convent life made me think I had found what I\nsought, but it was a vain delusion, as I found to my cost.\n\nThere are in English convents to-day many unhappy souls, groping in the\ndark. Are we to let them share my fate, and that of others, which may be\nworse? Nay, rather let us use our pens and voices to awaken and enlighten\nthe men and women of England as to the truth.\n\nOthers have exposed conventual life as it exists in the Roman Catholic\nChurch; but still the people of England can scarcely be alive to the\nfearfully rapid increase in the number of such convents,[24] or of\nthe degrading and un-English and un-Christian nature of the life of a\nnun therein. It is not my lot to expose Roman Catholic convents; the\ndiscoveries I have made have been made in connection with the Church\nof England, which, alas, through the fearful growth of Ritualism, is\nbecoming a recruiting ground for Rome.\n\nMy opinion may not be worth much, but I hold the strong conviction that\nunless Protestants make a great stir, and unless the bishops of the\nChurch set the example, England, at no very distant period, will be\nRomanized.\n\nI can point to more than two or three convents in connection with the\nEstablished Church where not only Roman Catholic books are in constant\nuse, but where the Roman Catholic Ordinary of the Mass is used, instead\nof our own Protestant Communion Service; and, worse than all perhaps, I\nknow the Mass was on several occasions celebrated by a Roman Catholic\npriest in a Church of England convent!!\n\nWhen I came out of convent life and mixed with Christian people, I\ndiscovered that the most earnest workers were those who were in the\nenjoyment of peace. They were living in the sunlight of God\u2019s love;\nthey were, so to speak, good without knowing it, they had no time to be\nalways thinking of themselves, but they were ever looking to God. Now, in\nthe convent it had been far otherwise; we had been taught by man to try\nwith all our might to be good according to set rules, and ceremonies,\nand methods handed down to us by Roman Catholic saints, or so-called\nFathers of the Church, and to be continually examining and fingering our\nspiritual muscles to see how we were getting on in the spiritual life. In\nconsequence of such a method, there was constant failure, as there ever\nwill be under such a system.\n\nI feel I have much to be thankful for that God should have led me to see\nmy mistake in life. It was _His_ work, for, in spite of the treatment I\nreceived, _I_ still clung to the convent life. My motive for leaving it\nwas mainly to get away from being misunderstood and misrepresented, and\nfrom the endurance of cruel penances. But since then my eyes have been\nfurther opened, so that I now totally disagree with the whole system,\nand I thank God for having so providentially taken me by the hand. He\nand He alone has delivered me from so many Satanic delusions, and He and\nHe alone has made known to me the \u201ctruth as it is in Jesus,\u201d and not in\nRomish rites and ceremonies. I can and do indeed rejoice in the liberty\nwherewith Christ has made me free; I am free to serve Him \u201cwithout\nfear,\u201d and I am free to let my light shine that others may learn thereby\nto glorify my heavenly Father.\n\nI thank Him especially for not letting me remain in the convent any\nlonger, wasting time and precious opportunities of doing good and helping\nothers. And I do pray that He will ever keep me in a listening and\nwaiting attitude of mind upon Himself, so that I may \u201chear what the Lord\nwill speak: for He will speak peace unto His people, and to His saints.\u201d\nAnd may He so speak to me that I may _never_ \u201cturn again to folly.\u201d\n\nThat God may use these poor efforts of mine to open the eyes of many, is\nthe prayer of her who, with the man whose eyes the Lord once opened, can\nsay, \u201cOnce I was blind, now I see.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nDEVOTIONAL BOOKS USED BY SISTER MARY AGNES, O.S.B.\n\n\n\n\n_APPENDIX A._\n\n\n \u201cMANUAL OF DEVOTIONS TO OUR HOLY FATHER, ST. BENEDICT, ABBOT\n AND PATRIARCH OF THE WESTERN MONKS; TO HIS SISTER, ST.\n SCHOLASTICA, VIRGIN AND ABBESS; AND TO ALL SAINTS OF HIS\n ORDER.\u201d (London: Catholic Publishing and Bookselling Co.\n Limited.)\n\nFather Ignatius calls himself a Benedictine monk, and his nuns belong to\nthe same order. One would have supposed that though he imitated Rome in\nthe worship of the wafer and of the Virgin, he would still have hesitated\nto go the full length of Romish superstition by obliging his nuns to put\ntheir trust in such questionable characters as Gregory VII., Thomas \u00e0\nBecket, etc. Yet on page 185 of the above book they are required to ask\nGregory VII. to pray for them, and on the following page Thomas \u00e0 Becket\nis invoked in the same manner. Who and what these two Romish saints were,\ntruthful English history abundantly proves.\n\nAs the title of the book shows, it is intended to foster devotion to\nSt. Benedict, to his sister Scholastica, and to all the other canonized\nsaints of the Benedictine Order. Now, who canonized these supposed\nsaints? Was it not Rome?\n\nThe first part is entirely devoted to the honouring and invoking of\nSt. Benedict. Throughout this part we frequently meet with the verse,\n\u201cPray for us, O holy Father St. Benedict.\u201d There are also a number of\nlitanies, in which he is called upon as being now \u201cplaced over the choirs\nof monks,\u201d as \u201cthe star of the world,\u201d as \u201cthe equal of the prophets,\u201d as\n\u201cprotector of his order,\u201d as \u201cthe scourge of devils,\u201d as the \u201cAbraham of\nthe New Testament,\u201d and is entreated with the cry, \u201cWe beseech thee to\nhear us.\u201d On page 47 the following invocation occurs: \u201cBeseeching thee\n(holy Father St. Benedict) to be so faithfully present to me at the hour\nof my death, as to oppose thyself on every side where thou shalt see\nthe assaults of the enemy most violently raging against me, that, being\ndefended by thy presence, I may securely escape the snares of the enemy,\nand arrive at the joys of heaven.\u201d\n\nSimilar impieties occur throughout this and the other parts. Thus, in\nthe part devoted to St. Scholastica, on page 131, we find the following\ncollect: \u201cMercifully look down upon Thy family, we beseech Thee, O Lord,\nthrough the merits of Thy blessed Virgin, St. Scholastica; and as by her\nprayers Thou didst cause the rain to descend from heaven deign, through\nher supplications,\u201d etc. A number of litanies also occur, in which she is\naddressed in the most gushing way, and asked to pray for those who thus\naddress her.\n\nMoreover, this book introduces prayers for the dead. Thus, on page 165,\nthe versicle, \u201cMay the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy\nof God, rest in peace.\u201d\n\nThere are many other superstitious practices contained in the book,\nnotably the medal of St. Benedict, the wearing of which is declared on\npage 223 to be \u201ca constant silent prayer to God, \u2026 that He would have\nregard to the merits of our holy Father, and for his sake would extend\nHis own protection,\u201d etc.\n\nSister Mary Agnes says that the whole of this book, with the exception\nof the part on Indulgences, was in constant use by the nuns under Father\nIgnatius.\n\nMust not then monasticism be a fostering garden of superstition, since\neven those who claim to reject Rome resort to the same subterfuges as\nRome does to fill the void that must necessarily exist in the aching\nhearts of all the deluded followers of monasticism?\n\nThe next book, under Appendix B, will appear, if possible, even more\ngrossly superstitious than the former.\u2014(EDITOR.)\n\n\n\n\n_APPENDIX B._\n\n\n \u201cTHE EXERCISES OF SAINT GERTRUDE, VIRGIN AND ABBESS OF THE\n ORDER OF ST. BENEDICT.\u201d (London: Burns & Oates.)\n\nIn the preface a short account is given of the life of St. Gertrude,\nwhich is chiefly a legendary history, and made up of some of the most\nabsurd and ridiculous tales.\n\n\u201cOnce, when she was pouring out her whole heart in love to its Divine\nSpouse, it received the impression of the five wounds of the Divine\nRedeemer, and Gertrude felt them continually to the moment of her death\nwith an ever-increasing anguish and love.\u201d\n\nAgain, \u201cOn another occasion, on the Feast of Annunciation, the Mother of\nGod fastened on her breast a heavenly jewel, wherein were seven precious\nstones.\u201d\n\nAgain, we have another still more extraordinary miracle vouchsafed to\nher; for \u201conce she received in her heart the Divine Infant, who sprang\nfrom his crib to attach himself to her.\u201d\n\nMust not such teaching as this be in the highest degree degrading? And\nmust not those who can swallow such stuff be spiritually demented?\n\nIt is almost needless to point out that Saint Gertrude is said to have\nbeen devoted to the worship of the Virgin Mary. We find the following\nmost blasphemous words on the subject: \u201cThe love of Gertrude towards\nMary was in proportion to the tenderness with which the Mother of God\nregarded the dearest of the Spouses of her Son. Gertrude has bequeathed\nto us the expression of her devotion to the glorious Queen of heaven\nin that exquisite prayer which so expressively reveals the deep and\ntouching character of her piety: \u2018Hail, fair lily of the effulgent and\never-glorious Trinity! Hail, radiant rose of heavenly fragrance, of whom\nthe King of heaven willed to be born, and with thy milk to be fed, feed\nour soul with thy Divine insinuations!\u2019\u201d I will only give the last prayer\nin the book to show how the invocation of supposed saints is inculcated,\nas in the other book so commonly used in monastic and conventual\ninstitutions.\n\n\u201cO God, who hast prepared for Thyself a dwelling-place of delights in the\nmost pure heart of the blessed Virgin Gertrude, deign, we beseech Thee,\nthrough her merits and intercession, to wipe away all stains from our\nhearts, that they may become meet abodes of Thy Divine Majesty, through\nJesus Christ our Lord. Amen!\u201d\u2014(EDITOR.)\n\n\n\n\n_APPENDIX C._\n\n\n REVIEW OF \u201cVISITS TO THE MOST HOLY SACRAMENT AND THE BLESSED\n VIRGIN MARY. BY ST. ALPHONSUS LIGUORI.\u201d (Published by Burns &\n Oates.)\n\nThis book was sent to me by Sister Agnes, who wrote as follows when\nforwarding it:\n\n\u201cI send the book which we used daily. It was my constant friend for\nyears; my troubles and sorrows I confided to it. The hymns with the word\n\u2018Ignatius\u2019 at the end are his, but not the others; the writing in the\nfirst part of the book, written in MS. on foreign note paper, is taken\nfrom St. Alphonsus Liguori, and _was approved of by Ignatius_, except the\npart I have covered over: that he did not approve of. It treats of sinful\nobedience. I cannot quite make it out. The book it is culled from is, I\nthink, entitled \u2018The Religious Life.\u2019\u201d\n\nBefore reviewing the book itself, I purpose to place before you a part of\nthe matter \u201cwritten on foreign note paper,\u201d and stuck carefully into the\nbook, acting as a kind of preface to it, as we may say.\n\nRemember this matter is _taken from St. Alphonsus Liguori\u2019s \u201cLife of the\nReligious.\u201d_\n\n\u201c_There is no consecration so profound, so entire as that of \u2018religious\u2019_\non the day of their profession, because there is _none so purifying, so\nconstant, or so religious_. The consecration of bishops and priests is\nmore exalted, as being a Sacrament; it is more noble, as conferring a\nmore sublime dignity and ineffable character; yea, it is more powerful,\nbecause it imparts to a mere creature some of the powers of God. _But it\nis not so complete as the monastic_ consecration, because it does not\ninclude a man\u2019s entire separation from himself and from the world; it\nis not so entire, because it does not _absolutely consume the liberty_,\nthe independence, and the spontaneousness of his nature: it is a great\nsacrifice and a great Sacrament, but _not a_ TRUE HOLOCAUST.\u201d\n\nI would urge my readers to stay a moment and mark carefully, and inwardly\ndigest this description of a nun\u2019s life. Where is the liberty that is so\nvainly spoken of? Are we not here told that a nun by her profession has\nher liberty absolutely consumed; that is to say, she is a _prisoner for\nlife_?\n\nNotice, I pray you, the words \u201cit is a true holocaust.\u201d In fact, the sin\nof the children of Israel, who \u201ccaused their sons to pass through the\nfire,\u201d is committed over again. As king Manasseh \u201ccaused his children to\npass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom,\u201d so under the\npretence of offering the nuns to the service of God, the Roman Catholics,\nand alas! members of the Church of England, \u201csacrifice their sons and\ndaughters to devils\u201d (Ps. cvi. 37). It is nothing but Moloch worship\nover again. But to proceed with Liguori\u2019s description of the life of the\nreligious:\n\n\u201cThe violation of the vows is then a very grievous sin against the\nvirtue of religion\u2014(it is) _the crime of sacrilege_. Man, consecrated\nto God and to His service, _becomes something divine_; he owes himself,\ntherefore, a religious respect, which rebounds ever to God; and if ever\nhe should dishonour by mortal sin the virtues of poverty, obedience,\nand virginity, of which he has made profession, he would commit an\noutrage against the Divine honour, he would be guilty of sacrilege. What\nrashness! what crime! what impiety would it not be then in you to violate\nyour vows!\n\n\u201cThe infidelity of consecrated persons is more awful than the sacrilege\ncommitted against holy places, Eucharist vessels, holy pictures, or\nrelics. Your soul would shudder at the mere thought of a desecrated\ntemple, a dishonoured ciborium, a broken crucifix, or of a saint\u2019s\nbody cast into the flames: would it then consent to far more horrible\n_crimes_, or to more infamous violations? Virginity derives not its\nnobility and worth from itself, but rather because it is an offering to\nthe Lord, inspired and preserved by prudence and piety of the soul.\n\n\u201cIf it should happen that a religious, in drawing comparison between\nhis life and that of Christians in the world, should be seized with a\nholy fear lest he be less zealous, less pure, or less fervent than many\nof them, he may still find a legitimate reassurance in the thought that\nhis actions, though they may be apparently less virtuous and brilliant,\nderive, notwithstanding, greater value and more real devotion than theirs\nfrom the virtue of religion, which is their chief source, and which has\nso high a place amongst the more virtuous.\u201d\n\nDo we not see here how a nun is taught to meet what must be an\noft-recurring thought\u2014that her life is utterly useless, and that she is\nunable to devote herself actively to the service of God, and that misery\nand unhappiness surround her, and that she cannot be so pure as many who,\nliving in the world, are not shut up, so to speak, with only their own\nheart\u2019s corruptions to brood over. She is taught that all these serious\nfailings are more than atoned for by the mere fact that she has made a\nsolemn profession of poverty, chastity, and obedience. But to proceed.\n\n\u201cHe may be consoled that he has eternally consecrated to the Lord the\nroot of his actions in such a way that they all bear the threefold\ncharacter of a profound religion, ardent generosity (?), and eternal\nattachment to that which is good. We may reasonably suppose that on\nits entrance into religion, by making profession of the vows, _the\nChristian soul obtains remission of all its sins_. Not that the religious\nprofession, considered in itself, possesses a sacramental virtue,\noperating by its own intrinsic and independent office, or that it can,\nlike baptism and penance, blot out the stain of sin; but if it be\nsincere, it is a most excellent act of perfect charity, which unites us\nvery closely to God, by an effectual outpouring of His sanctifying grace,\nand by an abundant remission of those temporal punishments which remain\ndue to sin after its guilt has been forgiven.\n\n\u201cBefore dismissing this noble subject of religious profession let us\nnot omit to observe that the _vow of obedience is its chief feature_.\nThat which is done by obedience is more agreeable to God than that\nwhich is performed by one\u2019s own will. Your Superior is like a sacred\nvessel wherein God has placed for us all His desires and graces, and the\ntrue proof of religious sanctity, the sure token of perfection, is the\nperfection of _obedience_ to all Superiors.\n\n\u201cNeed we add that obedience has its limits. There are, firstly, things\nforbidden by the _law of God_, which a Superior cannot prescribe without\ninjustice, since, being then no longer subordinate to the Divine will,\nhe can no longer serve as a medium between him and his subject. They\nare without the pale of obedience, and the Superior has no authority to\nenforce them. The subject, therefore, is not to act contrary to the law\nof God, or to the rule which they profess to follow; in such obedience\nwould be _illicit_.\u201d\n\nI must make a few observations on this matter of obedience. Notice how,\nby such an obedience, a professed nun (or monk) transfers to an erring\nmortal the whole responsibility of her actions. She has to find out God\u2019s\nwill through the Superior\u2019s. The Superior is to her in the place of God,\nand practically his law and order becomes for her God\u2019s law and order.\nHow can she remonstrate, when the Superior commands what is against the\nlaw of God, when she has been taught that she can only learn what is\nGod\u2019s law through the medium of the Superior? And if she dared to resist\nher Superior\u2019s will because she felt it to be leading her astray, do you\nsuppose that the Superior would ever acknowledge himself or herself to\nbe in the wrong? And is it likely that the poor nun would escape some\nterrible penance for daring to doubt the propriety of any behest?\n\nBut the last paragraph, commencing \u201cNeed we add that obedience has\nits limits,\u201d and closing with \u201cSuch obedience would be illicit,\u201d was\ncarefully hidden, for Father Ignatius had told his nuns to _paste a piece\nof paper over it_, since he _could not agree_ with the Romish doctor!\nHe required an absolute and unconditional obedience, and believed it\nimpossible for a Superior to prescribe any law that was against the law\nof God.\n\nSt. Alphonsus Liguori has always been considered an extreme exponent of\nRomish doctrines; but now we find a man holding orders in the Church of\nEngland going even beyond Liguori. I beg my readers to make a special\nnote of this. I will now finish my extracts from the writing on foreign\nnote-paper inserted in the book I am about to review.\n\n\u201cThe religious is a person consecrated _for ever_ to the divine service\u201d\n(mark this \u201c_for ever_\u201d\u2014a prisoner for life, my friends, nothing more\nor less), \u201cand who cannot disgrace his high dignity without committing\nsacrilege. He has solemnly vowed that he will belong to no other but God;\nhe has devoted himself to follow after eternal wisdom in order to become\nperfect, and the religious, in sinning, has stripped himself of his\njustice and merits and become a shameful ruin, a horrid corpse.\u201d\n\n(This is enough to frighten a poor, timid girl, and to bind her in chains\nto her prison.)\n\n\u201cThe spiritual dangers of the religious life are not to be attributed\nto the vows, but rather to the fault, of him who, by changing his mind,\ntransgresses those vows. Do not then, under the pressure of _most cruel\ntemptations_\u201d\u2014(who makes them cruel? Read the experiences of Miss Povey\nor any other nun who has had the good fortune to escape, or to be turned\nout of her prison, and you will find out)\u2014\u201cregret the profession you have\nmade in the _fulness of liberty_\u201d\u2014(remember that previous to profession\nthe Superiors have cunningly woven their entangling web around the nun,\nand the profession may be compared to the spider, after he has secured\nhis prey, _carrying the poor helpless fly_ into the inner precincts\nof his home)\u2014\u201cbut rather behave the more diligently to subject your\nimpatient nature to so _salutary_ a yoke.\u201d Mark the word \u201csalutary.\u201d Is\nit not a well-attested fact that many nuns go mad from the unnatural\nconfinement within convent walls?\n\nI can only hope to give a very short review of this book, which was\nplaced in the hands of a nun who was a member of the Church of England.\nI have not time for an elaborate or lengthy account of its contents. I\ndo not think that it was only at Llanthony that this book was used,\nand it is to be feared that whilst the Feltham convent is now no longer\nunder the wing of Father Ignatius, yet that, with the exception of\nunconditional obedience, the teaching there is as extreme and as Romish\nas at Llanthony, and yet I believe a clergyman, holding a licence to\nofficiate in the diocese of London, acts as chaplain there. How long our\nbishops are going to allow and wink at this state of things, I know not!\nMay God raise up many faithful men who will demand that the laws of our\nProtestant Church be complied with!\n\nThe above work is one of the so-called devotional books prescribed by\nFather Ignatius, to be used by the nuns under his control.\n\nIt is a Roman Catholic publication, in constant use in all the monastic\nand other institutions of that Church; was composed in Italian by\nLiguori, the founder of the Redemptorist Order, translated into English\nby the Rev. R. A. Coffin, a member of that order, and published by Burns\n& Oates, the leading Romish publishers in Great Britain.\n\nThe nature of this book may be readily ascertained from the fact that it\npresupposes the consecrated wafer to be really and truly Christ himself,\nand that it insists upon the Virgin Mary as being the Saviour of every\none that is saved. For, in the beginning of the introduction, Liguori\nsays:\n\n\u201cOur holy faith teaches us, and we are bound to believe, that in the\nconsecrated host Jesus Christ is really present under the species of\nbread\u201d; and, further on, speaking of the visits to the Virgin, he says:\n\n\u201cThe opinion of St. Bernard is well known and generally believed. It\nis that God dispenses no graces otherwise than through the hands of\nMary.\u2026 Hence, Father Suarez declares that it is now the sentiment of the\nuniversal Church that \u2018the intercession of Mary is not only useful, but\neven necessary to obtain graces,\u2019\u201d and he concludes:\n\n\u201cDo you then be also careful to always join to your daily visit to the\nmost blessed Sacrament a visit to the most holy Virgin Mary in some\nchurch, or at least before a devout image of her in your own house.\u201d\n\nHence on page 25 we find a prayer to the Virgin, beginning with the words:\n\n\u201cMost holy immaculate Virgin, and my mother \u2018Mary,\u2019\u201d in which she is\nstyled the \u201cqueen of the world,\u201d \u201cthe hope, the refuge of sinners,\u201d and\nthe following blasphemous expressions are used:\n\n\u201cI worship thee, O great queen, and I thank thee for all the graces which\nthou hast hitherto granted me; and especially I thank thee for having\ndelivered me from hell, which I have so often deserved.\u2026 I place all my\nhopes in thee, and I confide my salvation to thy care, etc.\u201d\n\nHence throughout the book occur such expressions as the following:\n\n\u201cSole refuge of sinners, have mercy on me.\u201d \u201cO Mary, grant me the grace\nalways to have recourse to thee.\u201d \u201cHail, our hope.\u201d \u201cMy hope, help me.\u201d\n\u201cTherefore, my lady, and my hope, if thou dost not help me, I am lost.\u201d\n\u201cAll who are saved obtain salvation through thee; thou then, O Mary, hast\nto save me,\u201d and the like.\n\nExtracts might be piled upon extracts, but enough have been given to show\nthe nature and tendency of the book. Yet this book the nuns, under Father\nIgnatius\u2019s jurisdiction, are induced to keep as a constant companion.\n\nIt does not seem necessary to say anything further on the head of this\nbook: for its antichristian nature must be apparent to all students of\nthe pure word of God. In Christ alone is salvation, and He alone is our\nMediator between God and man.\u2014(EDITOR.)\n\n\n\n\nFOOTNOTES\n\n\n[1] I read as follows in the October number of the _Protestant\nObserver_:\u2014\u201cI remember hearing Father Ignatius tell an Oxford audience\nsome years ago that he was called Ignatius, not after the famous Father\nof the early Church, but \u2018after my patron-saint, Ignatius Loyola, founder\nof the Jesuit Order.\u2019 May we not call him Ignatius Loyola the Second?\u201d\n\n[2] \u201cThere are persons, even amongst \u2018Religious,\u2019 so insensible to the\nsorrows and sufferings of others, that we might ask whether they possess\na human heart\u201d (\u201cThoughts and Suggestions for [Ritualistic] Sisters of\nCharity,\u201d page 81 London: Hodges, 1871).\n\n[3] These were held in Hunter Street, Brunswick Square; the sisters\nwere of the third order, or associate sisters, living in the world, but\nwearing a dress similar to that in my photograph. They used to accompany\nFather Ignatius when he went to preach or attend meetings of a more\nprivate character in Hunter Street. It was at one of these meetings that\nI first met the Feltham Mother, early in the year 1868.\n\n[4] If the reader will look at the last verse of this chapter in the\nBook of Numbers, he will see that the vows there spoken of can have no\nconnection with convent vows, nor can they supply any authority for\nthem. We read in the last verse: \u201cThese are the statutes which the Lord\ncommanded Moses between a man and his wife, between the father and his\ndaughter, being yet in her youth in her father\u2019s house.\u201d Please note\nthis. Oh, how clever and subtle are some people in twisting Scripture and\nwresting it from its proper bearing!\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[5] In \u201cThe Rule of our Most Holy Father St. Benedict,\u201d edited, with\nEnglish translation and explanatory notes, by a monk of St. Benedict\u2019s\nAbbey, Fort Augustus, occur these words, which show that the rules which\nregulate the convents connected with this Order are very similar to those\nregulating the monasteries of the same order in the Church of Rome:\n\n\u201cBy no means let a monk be allowed to receive, either from his parents,\nor any one else, or from his brethren, letters, tokens, or any gifts\nwhatsoever, or to give them to others, without permission of the abbot.\nAnd if anything be sent to him, even by his parents, let him not presume\nto receive it, until it hath been made known to the abbot. _But even if\nthe abbot order it to be received, it shall be in his power to bid it\nto be given to whom he pleaseth, and let not the brother to whom it may\nhave been sent be grieved, lest occasion be given to the devil. Should\nany one, however, presume to act otherwise, let him be subjected to the\ndiscipline of the Rule_\u201d (p. 155).\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[6] John Berchmans was the son of a master shoemaker named John Charles\nBerchmans, and was born in the year 1599. His biographers tell us that as\na child he grew up as gentle and guileless as a lamb, and early shared\nhis time between the school and the altar.\n\nWhen about fifteen years of age, he joined the Society of Jesus, although\nhis parents were somewhat opposed to his taking this step. In a letter to\nhis mother at that time he tried to bring his parents to be reconciled\nto his taking this step; he wrote, \u201cGod is now pleased, after much\nprayer, out of His goodness to give me a vocation to religion and to the\n\u2018Society of Jesus,\u2019 _the hammer of all heresies, the vessel of virtue and\nperfection_. I hope you will not be so unreasonable as to oppose Him, but\nas (as I have read in history,) the Egyptians offered their children to\nthe crocodile, which they looked upon as a god, and, while it was eating\nthem up, the parents made high festival, _so too, I hope you will rejoice\nas they did_, and praise God, and thank Him that your son should be found\nworthy,\u201d etc.\n\nThis Jesuit saint seems to have been \u201c_celebrated for devotion to His\nLord in the blessed Sacrament_\u201d and _devotion to the Virgin Mary_. He was\nlooked upon as a \u201c_portent of holiness_.\u201d He is said \u201c_to have preserved\nunstained by grievous sin the white robe of baptism_.\u201d He died in the\nyear 1621. At eight o\u2019clock on Friday, Aug. 13th, 1621, with \u201c_his eyes\non his crucifix_,\u201d and with \u201c_the holy names of Jesus_ and _Mary on his\nlips he went to his reward_.\u201d\n\nMiracles of course were said to be wrought through his relics. In 1865,\nPius IX. published the decree for his beatification, and on Jan. 15th,\n1888, Leo XIII., amidst the splendid festivities of his sacerdotal\njubilee, solemnly canonized him as a saint.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[7] The late Rev. Dr. Pusey recommended Ritualistic Father Confessors to\ngive the following advice to those Sisters of Mercy who might happen to\nbe their penitents: \u201cI would have great respect paid in confession to\nyour confessor, for (to say nothing of the honour due to the priesthood)\nwe ought to look upon them _as angels_ sent by God to reconcile us to His\nDivine goodness; and also as His lieutenants upon earth, and therefore\nwe owe them all reverence, even though they may _at times_ betray that\nthey are _human_, and have human infirmities, and perhaps _ask curious\nquestions_ which are not part of the confession, such as your name, what\npenances or virtues you practise, what are your temptations, etc. _I\nwould have you answer_, although you are not obliged to do so.\u201d (\u201cManual\nfor Confessors,\u201d p. 190. London, 1878.) Heaven help the poor sisters who\nhave to answer the \u201ccurious questions\u201d of an inquisitive or wicked Father\nConfessor.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[8] The following is an extract from a lecture delivered by Mr. W. Walsh,\nat Bath, reported in the _English Churchman_, Nov. 26, 1886:\n\n\u201cHe (Mr. Walsh) had now to direct attention to the Vow of \u2018_Obedience_,\u2019\ntaken by many Ritualistic Sisters of Mercy. The rule as to \u2018obedience\u2019\nvaried considerably. In _Dr. Pusey\u2019s sisterhood_, it was _very\nobjectionable indeed_. The rule of holy obedience commands the sisters:\n\u2018Ye shall ever address the spiritual Mother with honour and respect;\navoid speaking of her among yourselves; cherish and obey her with holy\nlove, _without any murmur or sign of hesitation or repugnance_, but\nsimply, cordially, and promptly obey with cheerfulness, AND BANISH FROM\nYOUR MIND ANY QUESTION AS TO THE WISDOM OF THE COMMAND GIVEN YOU. If ye\nfail in this, ye have failed to resist a temptation of the evil one.\u2019\n\n\u201cWould not such a rule as this, Mr. Walsh continued to say, if placed in\nthe hands of a wicked Mother Superior, lead to the most fearful results?\nIn Father Benson\u2019s \u2018Religious Life Portrayed for the Use of Sisters of\nMercy,\u2019 the teaching was, if possible, placed in a still more fearful\nlight. In that book the sister is taught that\u2014\n\n\u201c\u2018A _religieuse_ has made the sacrifice of her will in taking the Vow\nof Obedience. She is no more her own, but God\u2019s; and she must obey\nher Superiors for God\u2019s sake, _yielding herself as wax to be moulded\nunresistingly_.\u2019\u201d\n\nWell did Mr. Walsh observe: \u201cPersons who had to submit to \u2018obedience\u2019\nsuch as this were as truly _slaves_ as any negro.\u201d\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[9] There must be many similar lying legends of this kind, in order to\nstamp upon ignorant and superstitious minds the necessity of obedience.\n\nIn \u201cThe Secret Plan of the Jesuits,\u201d by the Abbot Leone, the following\nstory is told: \u201cFather Saetti, knocking at my door one morning, according\nto his custom, I did not open it. \u2018Why this delay?\u2019 he asked me. I\nreplied that I could not open the door sooner. He then reminded me that,\nin all things, the most prompt obedience was the most perfect; that, in\nobeying God, we must make every sacrifice, even that of a moment of time.\n\u2018One of the brethren,\u2019 he continued, \u2018was occupied in writing, when some\none knocked at the door. He had begun to make an \u201cO,\u201d but he did not stay\nto finish it. He opened the door, and on returning to his seat, he found\nthe \u201cO\u201d completed, _and all in gold!_ Thus you see how God rewards him\nwho is obedient.\u2019\u201d Did not St. Paul prophesy that those would arise who\nwould \u201cspeak lies in hypocrisy,\u201d and did he not say, \u201c_Refuse profane and\nold wives\u2019 fables_\u201d? (1 Tim. iv. 1-7).\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[10] See Appendix C. for the teaching we received concerning the nature\nof the Vow of Obedience.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[11] While these pages were passing through the press, the _Western\nMail_, of Cardiff, on March 3rd, 1890, published a report, from the pen\nof its special correspondent, of the reception of three new monks at\nLlanthony Abbey by Father Ignatius. We reprint this report, slightly\nabridged:\n\n\u201cThe great event at the morning service was the consecration of three\nbrethren as monks. They were given new names after their consecration.\nThe abbot gave Cymric names to the three new monks, naming one Mihangel\nDewi Fair, another Catwg Fair, and the third Dyfrig Fair. The great organ\nthundered forth sweetest melody, and the voices of unseen choristers\nsinging a Welsh chant ushered in the solemn service. The three monks in\nreply to the abbot\u2014who was most gorgeously appareled in cloth of gold\nand hood, which caught and held the lights which blazed forth from all\nparts of the building\u2014who asked whether it was their wish to depart,\nsaid, \u2018We wish to dwell in the House of the Lord for ever!\u2019 The abbot\nasked, would they make a solemn vow of celibacy, obedience, and poverty.\nThat was answered in the affirmative. After some other ceremonies of\nthe most gorgeous description had been observed, the three brethren who\nsought to be made monks laid themselves down on their backs on the floor\nof the church. A funeral pall was placed over them to signify that they\nwere henceforth dead to the things of this world. A long wax candle was\nplaced at each of the four corners of the carpet on which they laid. This\nwas followed by the Burial Service being performed by the abbot, and the\ngreat bell tolled as if for the dead, and the _De Profundis_ was solemnly\nchanted. Moving around the prostrate figures, the abbot, now robed in\nblack vestments, scattered ashes upon them, and said, \u2018Ashes to ashes,\nand dust to dust.\u2019 He then sprinkled holy water upon the prostrate forms.\nA black curtain was now drawn across the church, hiding everything from\nthe congregation. Subsequently that was withdrawn, and it was then seen\nthat the three monks had commenced their spiritual existence. The head\nof each bore the tonsure, and was encircled with a wreath as described\nabove. The abbot received the three monks, each of whom held beneath\nhis chin the houseling white cloth. Later on in the service the abbot,\nstanding in wedding garments on the steps of the altar, proclaimed the\nthree new monks as being \u2018the spouses of our Lord Jesus Christ,\u2019 and\non the third finger of the left hand of each he placed a plain wedding\nring. After the ceremony of consecration was over, the three young monks\ntook their seats, covered with crimson cloth, and thirteen or fourteen\nnuns, completely concealed in white wraps, descended from somewhere, and\nbowed low, to receive the blessing of the monks. The above will give the\nreader some idea of the extraordinary and gorgeous ritual observed on the\noccasion.\u201d\u2014ED.\n\n[12] In the \u201cLittle Manual of Devotions,\u201d for the use of the \u201cPilgrims\u201d\nto Llanthony Abbey, Father Ignatius teaches that\u2014\u201cIt is a pious custom of\ndevout Christians, on seeing a monk, _to kneel and kiss the hem of the\nsacred habit_; if done from love to Jesus, _and reverence to the habit_\nof the Consecrated Life, _a great blessing will be received_\u201d (page\n6).\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[13] At that period my letters were not kept back; but you will see that\nat any time that suits the Superiors letters may be and often are never\nsent.\n\n[14] In the _Church of England Catholic and Monastic Times_ for June 24,\n1884 (which was the organ of Father Ignatius), there appears an article\nentitled \u201cLent at the Monastery.\u201d It is stated that in the evening of Ash\nWednesday, \u201cCompline was said, and then, while the nuns retired to their\nPriory for the Service of the _Discipline_, the monks proceeded to the\nDiscipline in the solemn choir\u201d (page 5). This confirms the statement of\nSister Mary Agnes that the \u201cDiscipline\u201d was in use at Llanthony.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[15] This last event, I should mention, took place in Devonshire. There\nare no stairs at the Llanthony convent.\n\n[16] In the article on \u201cLent at the Monastery,\u201d which we have already\nquoted from the _Monastic Times_, it is stated that on Ash Wednesday, at\nLlanthony, \u201cFirst the Superior [Father Ignatius] received the holy ashes\non his tonsured head, then the monks; after this the nuns descended.\u2026\nOne by one they knelt before the priest, received the ashes on their\nveiled heads, and disappeared behind the Great Shrine.\u2026 Nones, Litany,\nand the seven penitential Psalms were said; the latter kneeling or _lying\nprostrate in the ashes_ in the centre of the choir.\u201d\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[17] Probably few people credit what I know to be a fact, that such\ninstruments of torture are in use in probably all monastic and\nconventual institutions. I have by me now a book called \u201cPriests, Women,\nand Families,\u201d by J. Michelet, published in 1874 by the Protestant\nEvangelical Mission.\n\nIn the editor\u2019s preface to this book there are two sets of engravings\nof \u201cArticles of Piety\u201d; or, Instruments of Torture in English Convents.\nUnder the first set of engravings, I read thus:\n\n\u201cInstruments of torture are _now_ practised upon nuns in Romish convents\nin London, and in all parts of the country.\u201d\n\nThe Romish \u201cArticles of Piety,\u201d named on the next page, were bought at\nLittle\u2019s Ecclesiastical Warehouse, 20, Cranbourne Street, and at the\nconvent of the \u201cSisters of the Assumption of the Perpetual Adoration of\nthe Blessed Sacrament.\u201d (London.)\n\nSuch instruments of torture are fitter for the worshippers of Baal, than\nfor the worshippers of God; and a person using them upon cattle would\nlay himself open to a prosecution by the \u201cSociety for the Prevention of\nCruelty to Animals.\u201d Both the parties who purchased these articles are\nintimately known to Mr. Robert Steele, the secretary of the Protestant\nEvangelical Mission and Electoral Union, 5, Racquet Court, Fleet Street,\nE.C.\n\nChristian reader, it is your duty to testify, on God\u2019s behalf, against\nthe _blasphemy_ and _cruelty_ of Romanism. The _Maker_ and _Preserver_ of\nman is the loving _Father_, who gave His only begotten Son to die for us,\nand thus make atonement for our sin.\n\nThe second engraving is headed, \u201cIron Disciplines of the Church.\u201d There I\nread:\n\n\u201cSaint Liguori, the Doctor of the Romish Church\u201d (and an author strongly\nrecommended to the nuns and monks under Father Ignatius), \u201ccommends the\nuse of _Disciplines_ to the \u2018True Spouse of Christ,\u2019 thus:\n\n\u201c_Disciplines_, or _Flagellations_, are a species of mortifications\nstrongly recommended by St. Francis of Sales, and universally adopted in\nreligious communities of both sexes.\u201d\n\nThen after a minute description of some fifteen of the instruments of\ntorture, I read these words:\n\n\u201cWere such cruelties perpetrated upon the _heathen_, all our _Christian_\nchurches would resound with appeals to the sympathy of the people to\ncome to the help of the sufferers. This would be commendable. Why, then,\nis the same course not adopted on behalf of nuns, who, as Rev. Pierce\nConnelly says, \u2018are not only slaves, but who are, _de facto_, by a\nSatanic consecration, secret prisoners for life, and may any day be put\nan end to, or much worse, with less risk of vengeance here in England\nthan in Italy and Spain\u2019?\u201d\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[18] An extern is a boarder, or associate.\n\n[19] See Appendix A, and B, and C, where some Romish literature used is\nreviewed.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[20] Father Ignatius has himself described this service in his book\nentitled \u201cBrother Placidus,\u201d and records, in connection with it,\na wonderful \u201cmiracle,\u201d which he declares actually occurred in his\nmonastery. It is hard to understand how any person outside a lunatic\nasylum can believe in such a \u201cmiracle\u201d:\u2014\n\n\u201cMatins were over at five minutes before midnight. A procession quickly\nformed in the Refectory; and, as the hour of joy and gladness struck, the\nfigure of the holy Child was borne in state to the crib, with lighted\ntapers, incense, and chanting\u2014\n\n \u2018Ye faithful, approach ye, joyful and triumphant,\n O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.\u2019\n\nThe infant figure is lying on its linen swaddling bands, in the straw;\nthe countless tapers are flaming, amid clouds of sweetest incense, and\nshouts of triumph song. The little figure was charmingly lifelike\u2014the\nhead slightly raised, the hand also lifted, as if in blessing. In due\norder all present approached to kiss the sacred emblems of Incarnate\nLove. With long, lighted tapers they approached, and kneeling down,\nkissed the upraised hand. First the Abbot; then Fathers Theodore, Philip,\nand Drostan; after them Brothers Pancras, Oswald, Ethelred, and then\nPlacidus. How pale the fair face of the young novice looks! How his\nhand is trembling, as he grasps the burning taper!\u2026 The novice has been\nlonging for this moment\u2014longing to press his burning lips upon that\ninfant hand\u2014longing to make his adoring confession of faith in Mary\u2019s\nlittle Babe. \u2018O my Jesus, my King, my God, let me come and adore Thee.\u2026\u2019\nWith words like these bursting from his heart, but all unheard by aught\nsave Him for whom they all were uttered, Brother Placidus knelt to kiss\nthe little hand. \u2018Oh! oh!\u2019 burst from the lips of the children, while the\nelder brothers fell involuntarily on their knees. Brother Placidus had\nkissed the holy Child, _and, as he did so, the figure became animated\nwith life, and bowed its head, and returned the kiss, and the little hand\nhad been laid on the novice\u2019s head_. The taper dropped from his hand,\nand he fell into a deep swoon, on the floor, before the shrine of the\nNativity\u201d (pages 115-118).\n\n[21] I almost tremble at allowing such blasphemy as this to appear; it is\ntoo shocking.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[22] I have seen this charm in the shape of a dried piece of leaf. Miss\nPovey has one now in her possession.\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[23] God grant that it may never be revived, and that it will never be\nrecognised as a part of the Church of England\u2019s machinery!\u2014EDITOR.\n\n[24] I believe there are now in England, Wales, and Scotland, no less\nthan 458 Roman Catholic convents. Besides, there are about 48 houses\nfor Jesuits, and 171 monasteries. If the people of England make no\nprotest against this system, which is so essentially un-English, if our\nGovernment do not enforce the existing laws against the entrance of\nJesuits into this country and the setting up of monasteries, and if our\nGovernment refuse to listen to the wishes of thousands in our land for\nconvents to be impartially inspected, will not the masses, though such\na course must be deplored, ere long feel almost impelled, at least with\nsome convents, to take the law in their own hands?\u2014EDITOR.\n\n * * * * *\n\n 27, PATERNOSTER ROW,\n LONDON.\n\n HODDER & STOUGHTON\u2019S\n New and Recent Publications.\n\nTHE CHRISTIAN MINISTRY: Its Origin, Constitution, Nature, and Work. The\nDonnellan Lectures for 1888, together with Notes and Appendices.\nBy the Very Rev. WILLIAM LEFROY, D.D., Dean of Norwich (sometime\nIncumbent of St. Andrew\u2019s, Liverpool; Honorary Canon of Liverpool\nCathedral, and Archdeacon of Warrington). In one volume, 8vo, price 14s.\n\nSTUDIES ON THE EPISTLES. By the Rev. Professor F. GODET, D.D. Translated\nby Mrs. ANNIE HARWOOD HOLMDEN. Crown 8vo, cloth, 7s. 6d.\n\nPERSONAL AND FAMILY GLIMPSES OF REMARKABLE PEOPLE. By the Venerable\nArchdeacon E. W. WHATELY, M.A., late Chancellor of St. Patrick\u2019s and\nRector of Werbergh, Dublin. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s. 6d.\n\nIMAGO CHRISTI: The Example of Jesus Christ. By the Rev. JAMES STALKER,\nM.A., Author of \u201cThe Life of Jesus Christ,\u201d \u201cThe Life of St. Paul,\u201d etc.\nCrown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nIRELAND AND THE ANGLO-NORMAN CHURCH: A History of Ireland and Irish\nChristianity from the Anglo-Norman Conquest to the Dawn of the\nReformation. By the Rev. G. T. STOKES, D.D., Professor of\nEcclesiastical History in the University of Dublin, and Vicar of\nAll Saints\u2019, Blackrock; Author of \u201cIreland and the Celtic Church,\u201d\netc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 9s.\n\nBENJAMIN HELLIER: His Life and Teaching. A Biographical Sketch, with\nExtracts from his Letters, Sermons, and Addresses. Edited by HIS\nCHILDREN. With Portrait and Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\nALONE WITH THE WORD: Devotional Notes on the Whole of the New Testament.\nBy G. Stringer Rowe, Governor of Headingley College, Leeds. 8vo, cloth,\nprice 6s. 6d.\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY CANON WYNNE, D.D._\n\nI.\n\nFRAGMENTARY RECORDS OF JESUS OF NAZARETH. From the Letters of a\nContemporary. By FREDERICK R. WYNNE, D.D., Canon of Christ Church, and\nIncumbent of St. Matthias\u2019, Dublin. In crown 8vo, price 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cSimple and yet forcible in style, the little volume is likely\n to lead the wavering to a firmer faith.\u201d\u2014_Nonconformist._\n\n \u201cThis volume will be read with profit for its wisdom,\n excellent spirit, thorough fairness, and delightfully reverent\n tone.\u201d\u2014_Christian Advocate._\n\nII.\n\nTHE JOY OF THE MINISTRY. An Endeavour to Increase the Efficiency and\nDeepen the Happiness of Pastoral Work. In crown 8vo, price 3s. 6d. Second\nEdition.\n\n \u201cThere is no clergyman of any Church, old or young, who\n will not be moved, and there must be very few who will not\n be healthily stimulated, by the perusal of a work based on\n the purest Christian principles, and embodying in graceful\n language the results of wide observation and personal\n practice.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\nIII.\n\nPLAIN PROOFS OF THE GREAT FACTS OF CHRISTIANITY. For the Help of Minds\nPerplexed with Difficulties. Cheap Edition. Cloth, price 1s. 6d.\n\nIV.\n\nSPENT IN THE SERVICE. A Memoir of the Very Rev. Achilles Daunt, D.D.,\nDean of Cork. With selections from his Letters, Diaries, and Sermons.\nThird Edition. With Portrait, price 5s.\n\n \u201cWe feel grateful to Mr. Wynne for giving us so lifelike a\n sketch of a very beautiful character.\u201d\u2014_Literary Churchman._\n\n \u201cA most interesting memoir. Mr. Daunt appears to have been not\n only an eloquent and fervent preacher, but a most holy man,\n singularly true and thorough in all relations of life. The\n memoir is unusually well written, and readable.\u201d\u2014_Guardian._\n\n * * * * *\n\nCHRISTIAN THEISM: A Popular Survey of the Evidence on which it rests,\nand the Objections urged against it Considered and Refuted. By the Rev.\nPrebendary C. A. ROW, M.A., D.D. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nTHE HALLOWING OF CRITICISM: Nine Cathedral Sermons on Elijah. By the Rev.\nProf. T. K. CHEYNE, D.D., Canon of Rochester. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nPALESTINE IN THE TIME OF CHRIST. By EDMOND STAPFER, D.D., Professor in\nthe Protestant Theological Faculty of Paris. Translated by ANNIE HARWOOD\nHOLMDEN. With Map. Crown 8vo, price 9s.\n\n \u201cThe book, as a whole, is of great interest, and will prove,\n we believe, a great help to those who desire to reach for\n themselves the actual meaning of the Gospels. It will be a\n valuable addition to the _apparatus criticus_ of the Biblical\n student, and will help to give colour and vividness to the\n preacher\u2019s description of scenes and incidents from which\n he would draw forth moral and spiritual lessons for his\n hearers.\u201d\u2014_Nonconformist._\n\nTHE TRINITY OF EVIL. I. INFIDELITY.\u2014II. IMPURITY.\u2014III. INTEMPERANCE. By\nRev. Canon WILBERFORCE, M.A. New and Cheaper Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth,\nprice 1s. 6d.\n\n \u201cOne of the most sonorous and telling trumpet-blasts against\n infidelity, impurity, and intemperance we have ever heard.\n Every page of the Canon\u2019s not only throbs with passionate\n earnestness in the cause of truth and righteousness, but is\n full of point and fine literary power.\u201d\u2014_Literary World._\n\nDANIEL\u2019S PROPHECIES NOW BEING FULFILLED. With a Harmony in the Words of\nthe Revised Version. By the Rev. E. P. CACHEMAILLE, M.A. In Crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 2s. 6d.\n\nLIGHT AND COLOUR EMBLEMATIC OF REVEALED TRUTH. By the late Major R. W. D.\nNICKLE. Edited by SARAH SHARP. With Diagrams. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 7s.\n6d.\n\n \u201cThe work is highly edifying, and will be found by lovers of\n Holy Scripture to contain much that is fresh and instructive.\n The diagrams are choice, and tend greatly to the elucidation\n of the subject. By the help of this work a new domain\n of knowledge is opened, and many passages of Holy Writ\n re-illumined.\u201d\u2014_Christian._\n\nSOME CENTRAL POINTS OF OUR LORD\u2019S MINISTRY. By the Rev. HENRY WACE, D.D.,\nPrincipal of King\u2019s Coll., London, and Hon. Chaplain-in-Ordinary to the\nQueen; Author of \u201cThe Foundation of Faith,\u201d \u201cChristianity and Morality,\u201d\netc. Crown 8vo, cloth.\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY THE REV. CANON BELL, D.D., Rector of Cheltenham._\n\nOUR DAILY LIFE: Its Duties and its Dangers. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s.\n6d.\n\n \u201cThe subjects selected are admirably handled. It is a very\n excellent, most useful book.\u201d\u2014_Church Bells._\n\nHENRY MARTYN. Cheap Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 1s.\n\n \u201cA worthy record of a noble life.\u201d\u2014_Whitehall Review._\n\n \u201cIn every way a most delightful volume.\u201d\u2014_Rock._\n\nTHE VALLEY OF WEEPING A PLACE OF SPRINGS. A Practical Exposition of the\nThirty-second Psalm. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cThe whole volume is delightful in every way. As a meditative\n work, it is one which will be profoundly enjoyed by those who\n can obtain a copy of it.\u201d\u2014_Clergyman\u2019s Magazine._\n\nA WINTER ON THE NILE, IN EGYPT, AND IN NUBIA. Second Edition.\nArtistically bound, Eau de Nil cloth, price 6s. With Map.\n\n \u201cHe is an excellent traveller, making friends with everybody,\n receiving invitations from Egyptian authorities, foreign\n consuls, and Coptic clergy, and the native peasantry, all\n alike opening their hearts and homes to him. The result is an\n insight into Egypt as it is, and very much as it has been for a\n thousand years. The Canon\u2019s descriptions of manners and customs\n are lifelike, and sometimes not a little amusing.\u201d\u2014_Times._\n\nGLEANINGS FROM A TOUR IN PALESTINE AND IN THE EAST. Second Edition. Crown\n8vo, price 6s. With Map and Illustrations.\n\n \u201cCanon Bell is a scholar and something of a poet; and the\n reader may be sure that anything which proceeds from his hand\n is written with care, reverence, and polished skill.\u2026 It is a\n pleasant duty to recognise the admirable spirit in which Canon\n Bell has treated the more important part of his work. The\n reflections upon a visit to such spots as the Mount of Olives,\n the Garden of Gethsemane, or the place of the Crucifixion, are\n conceived in a truly reverent and majestic vein. The verses\n written in contemplation of these sacred spots are marked by\n great beauty and devotion. They read like some of the Church\u2019s\n glorious hymns of the Passion set anew, in fresh strains and\n varied metre.\u201d\u2014_Morning Post._\n\n * * * * *\n\nCHRIST AND HIS PEOPLE. In crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\n Thirteen Addresses by\n\n THE BISHOP OF LIVERPOOL,\n THE DEAN OF RIPON,\n ARCHDEACON RICHARDSON,\n CANON HOARE,\n PREBENDARY EDMONDS,\n H. C. G. MOULE,\n CANON J. W. BARDSLEY,\n SIR EMILIUS LAURIE, and\n GEORGE EVERARD.\n\nTHE REVELATION OF JOHN: An Exposition. By P. W. GRANT, Author of \u201cThe\nBible Record of Creation True for Every Age,\u201d \u201cThe Great Memorial Name,\u201d\netc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s.\n\nTHE SAINT AND HIS SAVIOUR. By C. H SPURGEON. A New Edition, set up and\nprinted from new type. With Portrait. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\nTHE WOMEN FRIENDS OF JESUS; or, Lives and Characters of the Holy Women of\nGospel History. By HENRY C. MCCOOK, D.D. In crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\n \u201cDr. McCook describes in felicitous and flowery language\n the lives and characters of famous women of Gospel\n history.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cRich in Biblical and historical knowledge, and graphic and\n picturesque in style.\u201d\u2014_Glasgow Herald._\n\n \u201cIt will be no difficult task to write many a paragraph in\n praise of the exquisite pathos, the insight into womanly\n character, which these pages breathe.\u201d\u2014_Methodist Recorder._\n\nTHE STORY OF THE LIFE OF JESUS Told in Words Easy to Read and Understand.\nBy the Author of \u201cThe Story of the Bible,\u201d etc. With Forty Illustrations.\nHandsomely bound, fcap. 4to, cloth, price 2s.\n\n \u201cAn excellent Sunday book for children; the story is tenderly\n and brightly told, the pictures of Eastern life and Jewish\n manners form an effective running commentary on the text,\n which is interspersed besides with graphic views of the sacred\n cities, sites, and scenery.\u201d\u2014_Times._\n\nTOILERS IN LONDON; or, Enquiries Concerning Female Labour in the\nMetropolis. By the \u201cBRITISH WEEKLY\u201d COMMISSIONER. Crown 8vo, cloth, price\n3s. 6d.\n\nNEWLY ENLISTED. A Series of Talks with Young Converts. By the Rev.\nTHEODORE CUYLER, D.D. Square 16mo, 160 pp., cloth, price 1s. 6d.\n\n \u201cClear, bright, forcible, these talks are full of wisdom. The\n book must rouse as well as teach many.\u201d\u2014_Methodist Recorder._\n\n \u201cThis is a beautiful little volume, replete with sound\n thought, practical instruction, and earnest evangelical\n truth.\u201d\u2014_Christian News._\n\nTHE GROWTH OF CHURCH INSTITUTIONS. By Rev. EDWIN HATCH, D.D., Reader in\nEcclesiastical History, Oxford. Second Edition. In crown 8vo, price 5s.\n\n \u201cDr. Hatch\u2019s vast learning, his comprehensive grasp of his\n subject down to its minutest details, his lucid style, and his\n remarkable candour, are equally conspicuous, and we strongly\n commend the study and the mastery of this volume to all who are\n anxious to set the ecclesiastical problems of our day in their\n true light, and to resist the persistent claims of an arrogant\n priesthood.\u201d\u2014_Freeman._\n\nTHE ANGLICAN PULPIT OF TO-DAY. Forty Short Biographies and Forty Sermons\nof Distinguished Preachers of the Church of England. In crown 8vo, price\n7s. 6d. Handsomely bound in cloth.\n\n * * * * *\n\n_DR. GODET\u2019S BIBLICAL STUDIES._\n\nI.\n\nSTUDIES ON THE NEW TESTAMENT. By F. GODET, D.D., Professor of Theology,\nNeuch\u00e2tel. Edited by the Hon. and Rev. W. H. LYTTELTON, M.A., Canon of\nGloucester. Seventh Edition. Crown 8vo, price 7s. 6d.\n\nII.\n\nSTUDIES ON THE OLD TESTAMENT. Fourth Edition. Crown 8vo, price 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cUnquestionably M. Godet is one of the first, if not the very\n first, of contemporary commentators. We have no hesitation\n in advising all students of the Scripture to procure and to\n read with careful attention these luminous essays.\u201d\u2014_Literary\n Churchman._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY PRINCIPAL FAIRBAIRN, D.D._\n\nSTUDIES IN THE LIFE OF CHRIST. By A. M. FAIRBAIRN, D.D., Mansfield\nCollege, Oxford. Fifth Edition. 8vo, price 9s.\n\n \u201cThese studies are full of spiritual penetration, profound\n philosophy of moral life, and literary beauty. Devout in\n feeling, and evangelical in theological view, they are\n yet characterised by great freedom and independence of\n thought.\u201d\u2014_British Quarterly Review._\n\nTHE CITY OF GOD. A Series of Discussions in Religion. Third Edition.\nPrice 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cWe have read many of the truly brilliant passages of this\n volume with thrilling delight. The theology is orthodox, the\n logic is accurate, and the learning profound.\u201d\u2014_Ecclesiastical\n Gazette._\n\nRELIGION IN HISTORY AND IN THE LIFE OF TO-DAY. Fourth Thousand. Cloth,\nprice 1s. 6d.\n\n \u201cHis clear and closely-reasoned thought finds utterance in\n clear and well-knit speech.\u201d\u2014_Academy._\n\n * * * * *\n\nTHE MIRACLES OF OUR LORD. By the Rev. Professor J. LAIDLAW, D.D., Author\nof \u201cThe Bible Doctrine of Man,\u201d etc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\nROMANCE OF PSALTER AND HYMNAL: Authors and Composers. By the Rev. R. E.\nWELSH, M.A., and F. G. EDWARDS, Author of \u201cUnited Praise.\u201d Crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 6s.\n\nTROPICAL AFRICA. By HENRY DRUMMOND, F.R.S.E., F.G.S. Fifteenth Thousand.\nWith Six Maps and Illustrations, price 6s.\n\n \u201cProfessor Drummond is a clear and accurate observer, and as he\n has had a sound scientific training, and has a real interest in\n the human side of African life, he is able to present us with\n pictures of a distinctness and originality not often met with\n in books of African travel.\u201d\u2014_Times._\n\nNATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD. By Prof. HENRY DRUMMOND, F.R.S.E.,\nF.G.S. Twenty-fifth Edition, completing Ninety-second Thousand. In crown\n8vo, price 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cThis is one of the most impressive and suggestive books on\n religion that we have read for a long time. Indeed, with the\n exception of Dr. Mozeley\u2019s \u2018University Sermons,\u2019 we can recall\n no book of our time which showed such a power of re-stating\n the moral and practical truths of religion so as to make\n them take fresh hold of the mind and vividly impress the\n imagination.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\nTHE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD. An Address on 1 Corinthians xiii. Crown\n8vo, leatherette, price 1s.; cloth, 2s. 6d.\n\nLECTURES ON THE HISTORY OF PREACHING. By the late Rev. JOHN KER, D.D.\nSecond Edition. Crown 8vo, price 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cA valuable legacy to the Church of Christ. We know no better\n book than this to place in the hands of candidates for the\n ministry, and we should gladly see it used by the bishops of\n our own Church as an indispensable text-book for all who are\n studying for holy orders.\u201d\u2014_English Churchman._\n\nJAMES MACDONELL OF \u201cTHE TIMES\u201d: A Story of Self-Help. By W. ROBERTSON\nNICOLL, M.A. With Etched Portrait by H. Manesse. 8vo, price 12s.\n\nMODERN SCIENCE IN BIBLE LANDS. By Sir J. WILLIAM DAWSON, F.R.S. With Maps\nand Illustrations. In crown 8vo, price 9s.\n\n \u201cThe result of a tour through Italy, Egypt, and Syria,\n collected by a geological observer of such eminence as Sir\n William Dawson has shown himself to be, cannot but be of great\n value. Such are his knowledge and grasp of the subject, his\n perfect fairness and impartiality, and his close and careful\n reasoning, that it is not too much to say that he has summed\n the present extent of our knowledge of Bible lands.\u201d\u2014_Pall Mall\n Gazette._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_BY THE SAME AUTHOR._\n\nI.\n\nTHE STORY OF THE EARTH AND MAN. With Twenty Illustrations. Ninth Edition.\nCrown 8vo, cloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\nII.\n\nFOSSIL MEN AND THEIR MODERN REPRESENTATIVES. An attempt to illustrate the\nCharacters and Condition of Pre-Historic Men in Europe by those of the\nAmerican Races. With Forty-four Illustrations. Third Thousand. Crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\nIII.\n\nTHE ORIGIN OF THE WORLD, according to Revelation and Science. Fifth\nEdition. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cWe heartily commend the book to all those who are interested\n in this most important question. Dr. Dawson is a man well\n known in the ranks of science for great breadth and grasp of\n knowledge; he has been a pioneer in geological discovery: he is\n also a considerable Hebrew scholar, well read in the Bible, and\n especially those parts which treat of nature.\u2026 It is a valuable\n addition to Bible criticism from a point of view higher\n scientifically than we have yet had.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY DR. R. W. DALE, Birmingham._\n\nIMPRESSIONS OF AUSTRALIA. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nLAWS OF CHRIST FOR COMMON LIFE. Fourth Thousand. Crown 8vo, price 6s.\n\n \u201cSound sense and wholesome Christian teaching conveyed in pure,\n idiomatic, and forcible English.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cThis book excellently well bears out its title. The author\n gives wise and manly counsel.\u201d\u2014_Literary Churchman._\n\nTHE EPISTLE TO THE EPHESIANS. Its Doctrines and Ethics. Fourth Thousand.\nCrown 8vo, price 7s. 6d.\n\n In his first sermon as Vicar of Leeds, Dr. Talbot said: \u201cI\n believe that the thought of speaking of God\u2019s purpose in Christ\n was suggested to me by reading whilst abroad just now the\n impressive words about it in Dr. Dale\u2019s noble book upon the\n Epistle to the Ephesians. It is only a single but superlative\n instance of what we owe to Nonconformist faith and goodness.\u201d\n\nTHE NEW EVANGELICALISM AND THE OLD. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 1s.\n\nTHE JEWISH TEMPLE AND THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH. A Series of Discourses on the\nEpistle to the Hebrews. Seventh Edition. Crown 8vo, price 6s.\n\n \u201cWholesomer sermons than these it is almost impossible to\n conceive. Mr. Dale\u2019s preaching has always been remarkable for\n moral energy and fervour, but here this characteristic rises to\n its highest power.\u201d\u2014_Expositor._\n\nWEEK-DAY SERMONS. Fifth Edition. Crown 8vo, price 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cDr. Dale is certainly an admirable teacher of Christian\n ethics. He is, perhaps, the greatest living successor\n of the Apostle James. In this volume he appears at his\n best.\u201d\u2014_Christian._\n\nTHE TEN COMMANDMENTS. Fifth Edition. Crown 8vo, price 5s.\n\n \u201cFull of thought and vigour.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\n \u201cThe manly, fearless honesty of Mr. Dale\u2019s Expositions demands\n the very highest eulogy.\u201d\u2014_British Quarterly Review._\n\nNINE LECTURES ON PREACHING. Fifth Edition. Crown 8vo, price 6s.\n\n \u201cAdmirable lectures, briefly written, earnest and practical,\n the work of an able man.\u201d\u2014_Literary Churchman._\n\nTHE EVANGELICAL REVIVAL and other Sermons. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s.\n\n * * * * *\n\nPROFESSOR KURTZ\u2019S CHURCH HISTORY. Authorised Translation from the latest\nrevised edition, by the Rev. JOHN MACPHERSON, M.A. In three volumes.\nPrice 7s. 6d. each.\n\n \u201cThe complete work of Professor Kurtz is now translated, and\n it really shows itself so improved in form, so much fuller\n in substance, in fact, so much changed in mind, body, and\n state, that it may claim to be a new history altogether. No\n one who has tried to peruse the original compilation will deny\n that this is an unspeakable advantage in a once unreadable\n manual; and, indeed, a \u2018manual,\u2019 by its very name, signifies\n a work that is meant to hold in the hand and not to enter the\n head. The author has carried on his history into the most\n recent days. Nothing has escaped his all-seeing eye and his\n all-recording pen\u2014neither the Theosophism of Madame Blavatsky,\n nor the microscopic heresies of Mr. David Macrae in the United\n Presbyterian Church, neither the doings of the Berlin treaty\n nor of Dr. Robertson Smith. The annals of the last fifty years\n on the Continent are given with considerable fulness, and\n ecclesiastical events in Germany are given with an especial\n amount of detail.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_DR. FISHER\u2019S NEW CHURCH HISTORY._\n\nA HISTORY OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH. By GEORGE P. FISHER, D.D., LL.D.,\nProfessor of Ecclesiastical History in Yale University. In large 8vo, 712\npages, price 12s. With Seven coloured Maps.\n\n \u201cThis very valuable and exhaustive history.\u201d\u2014_English Churchman._\n\n \u201cIt is a book as remarkable for fairness and breadth of sympathy\n as it is for learning and power; and if its popularity should be\n as great as its value, its success is assured.\u201d\u2014_Nonconformist._\n\n * * * * *\n\nTHE CATACOMBS OF ROME, AND THEIR TESTIMONY RELATIVE TO PRIMITIVE\nCHRISTIANITY. By Rev. W. H. WITHROW, M.A. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s. 560\npages, 134 Illustrations.\n\n \u201cAn exceedingly painstaking and thorough-going work, and whether\n or not the writer may be correct in all his inferences, they have\n evidently been founded upon diligent information. He could not\n have very much that was absolutely new to tell on the subject;\n but as a convenient account of the most remarkable and interesting\n monuments of primitive Christianity, of those excavations which\n furnished the persecuted Church with refuges during life and in\n death, which formed her places of worship in times of peril, and\n received the remains of martyrs, the present volume is perhaps\n inferior to none of its predecessors.\u201d\u2014_Saturday Review._\n\nTHE PHILANTHROPY OF GOD. By the Rev. HUGH PRICE HUGHES, M.A. Crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\nSOCIAL CHRISTIANITY. Sermons delivered in St. James\u2019s Hall, London. By\nRev. HUGH PRICE HUGHES, M.A. Third Edition. In crown 8vo, cloth, price\n3s. 6d.\n\n PRESS NOTICES.\n\n \u201cIf all sermons were as fresh and unconventional, as simple,\n practical, and unaffected as those which he (Rev. Hugh Price\n Hughes) has put together under the appropriate title of \u2018Social\n Christianity,\u2019 there would perhaps be less grumbling from the\n pew than is at present the case.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cWise, strong, wholesome, and thoughtful.\u201d\u2014_British Weekly._\n\n \u201cIt is not difficult, after reading these fervid, brave, and\n genial addresses, to understand the secret of such a preacher\u2019s\n spell. Mr. Price Hughes does not mince matters in dealing\n with the lawlessness, the Mammon-Worship, and the social\n disorders of the times; and the tones in which he speaks are\n far-reaching and persuasive, because they are brotherly and\n full of faith and hope.\u201d\u2014_Leeds Mercury._\n\n \u201cThese vigorous sermons are an attempt to show that what\n must be called the social failure of Christianity is not the\n fault of Christianity or of Christ, but rather the result of\n Christians having been selfishly individualistic. The great\n evils of our day, and especially those of our own country,\n are brought to view with much directness, and the duties and\n responsibilities of disciples of Christ are enforced with\n plainness and power. Whether the subject be social distress,\n the administration of justice, Christ\u2019s authority, or the\n problem of unbelief, we find these pages uniformly practical\n and in a high degree instructive.\u201d\u2014_Christian._\n\n \u201cThese sermons are full of good, manly, vigorous teaching of a\n stout, practical kind.\u201d\u2014_Star._\n\n \u201cWhile the ordinary volume of sermons sends people to\n sleep, this will assuredly keep them awake; and it\n will, moreover, keep them awake by perfectly legitimate\n expedients.\u201d\u2014_Manchester Examiner._\n\nTHE ATHEIST SHOEMAKER: A Story of the West End Mission. By the Rev. HUGH\nPRICE HUGHES, M.A. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 1s. 6d.\n\nJOHN G. PATON: An Autobiography. Second Part. Edited by his Brother, the\nRev. JAMES PATON, B.A. Sixth Thousand. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s.\n\nJOHN G. PATON, Missionary to the New Hebrides. An Autobiography. Edited\nby HIS BROTHER. With Portrait. Fifth Edition, completing Eleventh\nThousand. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 6s.\n\n The Rev. Dr. PIERSON, author of \u201cThe Crisis of Missions,\u201d says:\n \u201cI consider it _unsurpassed_ in missionary biography. In the\n whole course of my extensive reading on these topics, a more\n stimulating, inspiring, and every way first-class book has not\n fallen into my hands. Everybody ought to read it.\u201d\n\n OPINIONS OF THE PRESS.\n\n \u201cA more fascinating and thrilling bit of Missionary history has\n seldom been given to the public.\u201d\u2014_Christian._\n\n \u201cIntensely interesting; indeed, often quite\n fascinating.\u201d\u2014_Christian Leader._\n\n \u201cLet the people who tell us that the romance of missions is\n passed, read this manly and thrilling narrative.\u2026 No fiction\n can exercise a stronger spell than the story of this brave\n Cameronian missionary\u2019s life.\u201d\u2014_Baptist Magazine._\n\n \u201cThe story of Mr. Paton\u2019s years of residence among the\n Tannese, amid many perils and great discouragements, is quite\n as fascinating in some parts as many a romance. The author,\n indeed, seems to have passed through dangers and difficulties\n which it would be hard to believe were the veracity of the\n writer not beyond question.\u2026 An autobiography recording the\n life and work of a missionary in some respects not unlike his\n great prototype\u2014David Livingstone.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cHe has a story to tell that is well worth hearing, and that\n at not a few stages will compare handsomely with most books of\n adventure.\u201d\u2014_Scottish Leader._\n\n \u201cWe recommend it to all our missionary societies as a most\n convincing testimony to the value of Gospel work among the\n heathen.\u201d\u2014_Methodist Times._\n\n \u201cSimplicity and godly sincerity are stamped on every\n page.\u201d\u2014_Leeds Mercury._\n\n \u201cThis is a book far beyond our praise. It will take its place\n with the classics of missions\u2014with the Lives of Brainerd and\n Martyn, and the other records which will endure as long as\n Christ is preached. Great as has been the missionary work\n accomplished by the author, we believe it will be found in\n the end that his greatest work has been the writing of this\n volume. It is a book which cannot be read without indescribable\n emotion.\u2026 It must surely, now and in days to come, kindle in\n many souls something of the writer\u2019s own lofty and fervent\n love. More than any argument it will silence the faithless\n clamour against missions; and no one, Christian or sceptic,\n will peruse it without feeling that there is amongst us still\n at least one truly Apostolic man.\u201d\u2014_British Weekly._\n\nCHARLES STANFORD, D.D.: Memories and Letters. Edited by HIS WIFE. With\nEtched Portrait by MANESSE. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nTHE PREACHER\u2019S COMMENTARY ON THE GOSPEL OF ST. JOHN. A Series of One\nHundred and Thirty Homiletic Sketches. By the Rev. GEORGE CALTHROP, M.A.,\nVicar of St. Augustine, Highbury. In crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cHis general method of describing and drawing lessons from the\n events of our Lord\u2019s life is vivid and interesting.\u201d\u2014_Guardian._\n\n \u201cA very suitable handbook for suggestions in a course of\n sermons or lectures on the fourth Gospel.\u201d\u2014_Ecclesiastical\n Gazette._\n\nTHE BRITISH WEEKLY PULPIT. Vol. I. 624 pages, 8vo, handsomely bound in\ncloth, red edges, price 6s.\n\n Contains only first-rate matter, having regard not to quantity,\n but quality, and includes Sermons, etc., from the Provinces,\n Wales and Scotland, as well as from Ireland; and numerous\n articles of varied interest and importance, and sermons by the\n following and many other preachers:\u2014\n\n Revs. J. B. Meharry, C. H. Spurgeon, G. Matheson, D.D.,\n Principal Fairbairn, D.D., A. Martin, M.A., Professor Godet,\n D.D., Dr. Oswald Dykes, A. Mursell, Prof. R. Flint, D.D.,\n Dr. Dallinger, T. Champness, A. Whyte, D.D., Prof. Knight,\n LL.D., Joseph Parker, D.D., A. Maclaren, D.D., Principal T. C.\n Edwards, D.D., Jno. Pulsford, D.D., Bishop Alexander, D.D.,\n John McNeill, Adolph Saphir, D.D., W. C. Smith, D.D., John\n Watson, M.A., Dr. MacGregor, Prof. Elmslie, D.D., J. Culross,\n D.D., W. B. Robertson, D.D., R. W. Dale, LL.D., C. A. Berry.\n\nTHE INDUSTRIES OF JAPAN. Together with an account of its Agriculture,\nForestry, Mining, Arts, and Commerce. By Prof. J. J. REIN, University of\nBonn. Illustrated by Woodcuts, Lithographs, and Native Fabrics. In one\nHandsome Volume. Royal 8vo, price 30s. With Forty-four Illustrations and\nThree Maps.\n\n \u201cProfessor Rein is equally exhaustive whatever subject or\n branch of a subject may be under review, and his book is a\n perfect mine of information of a most valuable and interesting\n kind.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\nJAPAN. Travels and Researches undertaken at the cost of the Prussian\nGovernment. With Twenty Illustrations and Two Maps. By the SAME AUTHOR.\nSecond Edition. Uniform in Size and Type. Price 25s.\n\n \u201cNo existing work on Japan can pretend to vie with the present\n one in the fulness and accuracy with which the physiography,\n natural history, and topography of the country\u2014subjects which\n Dr. Rein has made specially his own\u2014are treated; and for a long\n time to come it must rank as the standard authority in such\n matters.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\n \u201cIt is the most important and exhaustive work that has yet\n appeared on the physiography of that interesting land. The work\n of translation is excellently done under the supervision of the\n author.\u201d\u2014_Westminster Review._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY THE REV. PROF. A. B. BRUCE, D.D._\n\nI.\n\nTHE MIRACULOUS ELEMENT IN THE GOSPELS. In 8vo, cloth, price 12s.\n\n \u201cIt displays minute acquaintance with the modern literature of\n the subject, and all forms of attack to which Christian belief\n in the supernatural has been subjected. The defence is able all\n round; and the closing chapters\u2014in which the miracle implied\n in the character of Jesus is dwelt on, and where the defence\n is for a moment changed into attack\u2014are full of spirit and\n fire.\u201d\u2014_Methodist Recorder._\n\nII.\n\nTHE CHIEF END OF REVELATION. Third Thousand. In crown 8vo, cloth, price\n6s.\n\n \u201cDr. Bruce has given us a contribution of very great value.\n Like everything else that has come from his pen, this series of\n lectures has the conspicuous excellence of boldness, vigour,\n breadth, and moral elevation.\u201d\u2014_Professor Salmond._\n\nIII.\n\nTHE PARABOLIC TEACHING OF CHRIST: A Systematic and Critical Study of the\nParables of our Lord. Second Edition. 8vo, cloth, price 12s.\n\n \u201cProfessor Bruce brings to his task the learning and the\n liberal and finely sympathetic spirit which are the best gifts\n of an expositor of Scripture. His treatment of his subject is\n vigorous and original.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\nIV.\n\nTHE LIFE OF WILLIAM DENNY, Shipbuilder, Dumbarton. With Portrait. Second\nEdition. 8vo, cloth, price 12s.\n\n \u201cA most interesting biography.\u201d\u2014_Academy._\n\n \u201cDr. Bruce could not have found a worthier subject for his\n first essay in biography, and William Denny could not have had\n a more congenial biographer.\u201d\u2014_British Weekly._\n\n \u201cProfessor Bruce has shown remarkable skill \u2026 this admirable\n \u2018Life.\u2019\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n * * * * *\n\nCHRISTIAN CONDUCT. Sermons delivered in the Chapel of Mill Hill School by\nthe Headmaster, C. A. VINCE, M.A. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nPRECIOUS SEED SOWN IN MANY LANDS. Sermons by the Rev. A. N. SOMERVILLE,\nD.D. With a Biographical Sketch and Portrait. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nIRELAND AND THE CELTIC CHURCH. A History of Ireland from St. Patrick to\nthe English Conquest in 1172. By Rev. G. T. STOKES, M.A., Professor of\nEcclesiastical History in the University of Dublin, and Rector of All\nSaints, Blackrock. Second Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 9s.\n\n \u201cAny one who can make the dry bones of ancient Irish history\n live again may feel sure of finding an audience, sympathetic,\n intelligent, and ever-growing. Dr. Stokes has this faculty\n in a high degree. This book will be a boon to that large and\n growing number of persons who desire to have a trustworthy\n account of the beginning of Irish history, and cannot study\n it for themselves in the great but often dull works of the\n original investigators. It collects the scattered and often\n apparently insignificant results of original workers in\n this field, interprets them for us, and brings them into\n relation with the broader and better known facts of European\n history.\u201d\u2014_Westminster Review._\n\nFORESHADOWINGS OF CHRISTIANITY. By JOSEPHINE PECKOVER. With Preface by\nANNE W. RICHARDSON, B.A. In crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nRAYS OF MESSIAH\u2019S GLORY; or, Christ in the Old Testament. By DAVID BARON.\nSecond Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\nHUMAN DESTINY. By ROBERT ANDERSON, LL.D., Barrister-at-Law, Assistant\nCommissioner of Police of the Metropolis. Second and Cheaper Edition.\nPrice 3s. 6d.\n\n \u201cIt is seldom that we take up a book of which we wish that\n it had been longer, but Dr. Anderson\u2019s is such a book. It\n summarises the conflict through which the writer passed in\n studying the question of the destiny of the lost. It is\n refreshing to read a work which goes fairly to the very root of\n each theory in turn, and so states the issues involved in it\n that the reader can easily form his own conclusions. His book\n contains much that is valuable, and is loyal throughout to the\n teachings of Scripture.\u201d\u2014_Record._\n\nTHE COMING PRINCE: The Last Great Monarch of Christendom. By the SAME\nAUTHOR. Third Edition. Crown 8vo, price 5s.\n\n \u201cThe clearest exposition of the Seventy Weeks of Daniel that we\n have ever read.\u201d\u2014_Gospel Watchman._\n\n \u201cDeeply interesting from the first page to the last.\u201d\u2014_Home\n Words._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY REV. MARCUS DODS, D.D._\n\nI.\n\nMOHAMMED, BUDDHA, AND CHRIST. Fifth Thousand. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s.\n6d.\n\n \u201cHis materials have been carefully collected from the best\n sources, have been thoroughly digested in his own mind, and are\n here given forth to his readers in well-arranged, clear, and\n precise language.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cIts general truth few reflecting Christians will doubt, and\n its elevating tendency nobody, Christian or unbeliever, will\n deny. To us this book is specially welcome, as an evidence, in\n addition to many others, of a new outburst of earnest religious\n thought and sentiment.\u201d\u2014_Spectator._\n\nII.\n\nISRAEL\u2019S IRON AGE: Sketches from the Period of the Judges. Fourth\nEdition. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\n \u201cPowerful lectures. This is a noble volume, full of strength.\n Young men especially will find in it a rich storehouse of\n prevailing incentive to a godly life. Dr. Dods searches with a\n masterly hand.\u201d\u2014_Nonconformist._\n\nIII.\n\nTHE PRAYER THAT TEACHES TO PRAY. Sixth Edition. Crown 8vo, price 2s. 6d.\n\n \u201cA warm welcome will be given by many to this little\n book. It is a book to be read in the closet, and from\n the perusal of which no one can rise without a quickened\n spiritual life. Unquestionably it will add to the author\u2019s\n reputation.\u201d\u2014_Literary World._\n\n \u201cIt is highly instructive, singularly lucid, and unmistakably\n for quiet personal use.\u201d\u2014_Clergyman\u2019s Magazine._\n\n * * * * *\n\n_WORKS BY REV. DR. W. M. TAYLOR, New York._\n\nTHE PARABLES OF OUR SAVIOUR EXPOUNDED AND ILLUSTRATED. In crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cWe have many books on the parables of our Lord, but few which\n so thoroughly as this condense within their covers the best\n teaching contained in the various commentaries written to\n elucidate their meaning. Dr. Taylor is not, however, a slavish\n imitator of any master in Israel; he has thought out his\n subject for himself, and gives us a real exposition in eloquent\n language, such as will be valued by Bible students.\u201d\u2014_English\n Churchman._\n\nTHE LIMITATIONS OF LIFE, AND OTHER SERMONS. Second Edition. Crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 7s. 6d.\n\n \u201cDr. Taylor\u2019s sermons are full of spiritual earnestness and\n power.\u201d\u2014_London Quarterly Review._\n\nCONTRARY WINDS, AND OTHER SERMONS. Crown 8vo, price 7s. 6d.\n\nJOHN KNOX. Price 1s.\n\n \u201cA short biography, which has two great merits\u2014it presents\n in short compass, and yet in their true proportions, all\n the important events of the Reformer\u2019s life; and the warm\n appreciation of Knox\u2019s character and achievements by which it\n is pervaded is never allowed to descend to the level of mere\n undiscriminating eulogy.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n * * * * *\n\nVENI CREATOR: Thoughts on the Holy Spirit of Promise. By the Rev. H. C.\nG. MOULE, M.A., Principal of Ridley Hall, Cambridge, Author of \u201cOutlines\nof Christian Doctrine,\u201d etc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\nTHE VOICES OF THE PSALMS. By the Right Rev. W. PAKENHAM WALSH, D.D., Lord\nBishop of Ossory, Author of \u201cThe Moabite Stone,\u201d etc. Crown 8vo, cloth,\nprice 5s.\n\n _CONTENTS_\u2014INTRODUCTORY\u2014VOICES OF PRAISE\u2014VOICES OF\n PRAYER\u2014VOICES OF INSTRUCTION\u2014VOICES OF CREATION\u2014VOICES OF\n HISTORY\u2014VOICES OF IMMORTALITY\u2014VOICES OF THE SANCTUARY\u2014VOICES\n OF MUSIC\u2014VOICES OF THE SHEPHERD, THE WARRIOR, AND THE\n OUTLAW\u2014VOICES OF THE MONARCH, THE PENITENT, AND THE\n PILGRIM\u2014VOICES OF THE MESSIAH, THE KING, THE PROPHET AND\n PRIEST\u2014VOICES OF REDEMPTION\u2014VOICES OF THE CHURCH\u2014VOICES OF\n THE MISSION FIELD\u2014VOICES OF THE SPIRITUAL LIFE\u2014VOICES OF\n BENEDICTION.\n\nJOINTS IN OUR SOCIAL ARMOUR. By JAMES RUNCIMAN, Author of \u201cA Dream of the\nNorth Sea,\u201d etc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\n _CONTENTS_\u2014THE ETHICS OF THE DRINK QUESTION\u2014VOYAGING AT\n SEA\u2014WAR\u2014DRINK\u2014CONCERNING PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY ARE GOING\n WRONG\u2014THE SOCIAL INFLUENCE OF THE \u201cBAR\u201d\u2014FRIENDSHIP\u2014DISASTERS\n AT SEA\u2014A RHAPSODY OF SUMMER\u2014LOST DAYS\u2014MIDSUMMER DAYS AND\n NIGHTS\u2014DANDIES\u2014GENIUS AND RESPECTABILITY\u2014SLANG\u2014PETS\u2014THE ETHICS\n OF THE TURF, ETC.\u2014DISCIPLINE\u2014BAD COMPANY\u2014GOOD COMPANY\u2014GOING\n A-WALKING\u2014\u201cSPORT\u201d\u2014DEGRADED MEN\u2014A REFINEMENT OF \u201cSPORTING\u201d\n CRUELTY.\n\nMEMORIALS OF EDWIN HATCH, D.D., sometime Reader in Ecclesiastical History\nin the University of Oxford, and Rector of Purleigh. Edited by HIS\nBROTHER. With Portrait. Crown 8vo, cloth, 7s. 6d.\n\nTOWARDS FIELDS OF LIGHT: Sacred Poems. By the late Rev. EDWIN HATCH, D.D.\nCrown 8vo, cloth, gilt edges, 2s. 6d.\n\n \u201cThe high level of merit sustained throughout will insure\n a deep interest among lovers of devotional verse. These\n poems maintain the traditions of the best English religious\n poetry.\u201d\u2014_Scotsman._\n\n \u201cThey are exquisitely beautiful.\u201d\u2014_Church Review._\n\n \u201cThese delicate and thoughtful poems breathe the very spirit of\n their author, broad, simple, and sincere.\u201d\u2014_Pall Mall Gazette._\n\nTHE MAKERS OF MODERN ENGLISH. By the Rev. W. J. DAWSON, Author of \u201cThe\nThreshold of Manhood,\u201d etc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 5s.\n\n _CONTENTS_\u2014INTRODUCTORY\u2014THE INTERVAL BEFORE THE DAWN\u2014ROBERT\n BURNS\u2014LORD BYRON\u2014PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY\u2014JOHN KEATS\u2014SIR WALTER\n SCOTT\u2014COLERIDGE\u2014ROBERT SOUTHEY\u2014WILLIAM WORDSWORTH\u2014WORDSWORTH\u2019S\n LIFE AND POETRY\u2014SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF HIS POETRY, ETC.\u2014THE\n HUMANITARIAN MOVEMENT IN POETRY: THOMAS HOOD AND MRS.\n BROWNING\u2014LORD TENNYSON: GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS\u2014TREATMENT\n OF NATURE\u2014LOVE AND WOMAN, ETC.\u2014ROBERT BROWNING\u2014BROWNING\u2019S\n PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE\u2014THE SPIRIT OF BROWNING\u2019S RELIGION,\n ETC.\u2014MATTHEW ARNOLD\u2014D. G. ROSSETTI\u2014A. C. SWINBURNE\u2014WILLIAM\n MORRIS.\n\nPROFESSOR W. G. ELMSLIE, D.D.: Memoir and Remains. Edited by W. ROBERTSON\nNICOLL, M.A., LL.D., Editor of _The Expositor_. With Portrait, crown 8vo,\ncloth, price 6s.\n\nRESCUERS AND RESCUED: Experiences among our City Poor. By the Rev. JAMES\nWELLS, M.A., Glasgow, Author of \u201cChrist and the Heroes of Christendom,\u201d\netc. Crown 8vo, cloth, price 3s. 6d.\n\nUNTIL THE DAY BREAK, and Other Hymns and Poems. By the late Rev. HORATIUS\nBONAR, D.D. Crown 8vo, price 5s.\n\n _CONTENTS_\u2014GENERAL HYMNS\u2014CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS\u2019 HYMNS\u2014HYMNS\n OF ISRAEL\u2014FRAGMENTS.\n\n * * * * *\n\nA VALUABLE TEXT BOOK.\n\nOUTLINES OF CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE. By the Rev. H. C. G. MOULE, M.A.,\nPrincipal of Ridley Hall, Cambridge. Third Edition, with new Indexes.\nFcap. 8vo. Price 2s. 6d.\n\n The _Guardian_ says: \u201cMr. Moule has attempted a very difficult\n task, and has at least succeeded in condensing an immense mass\n of information into a small compass. It is perhaps superfluous\n to say that his work is characterized by great reverence from\n the first page to the last. At every point the reader feels\n that he is reading a statement of theology which is the life of\n the writer. In the more strictly theological part the summary\n is, as a rule, arranged and expressed excellently.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n_Crown 8vo, cloth, price 7s. 6d._\n\nLIFE INSIDE THE CHURCH OF ROME.\n\nBy M. F. CLARE CUSACK, \u201cThe Nun of Kenmare.\u201d\n\n NOTICES OF THE PRESS.\n\n \u201cMiss Cusack has a great deal to reveal, and she speaks with no\n hesitating sound. The book before us is something more than a\n revelation to the Protestant world; it is also a controversial\n treatise, in popular form, in which the doctrinal errors of the\n Papacy are considered from the highest standpoint\u2014the written\n Word of God. It is a book which should find a place on every\n Protestant family\u2019s bookshelves.\u201d\u2014_English Churchman._\n\n \u201cDeserves to receive the earnest consideration of all who\n have any care whatever for the welfare of their country. More\n than anything else its pages ought to open the eyes of the\n ritualists.\u201d\u2014_City Press._\n\n \u201cWe are not aware that there has been published any work which\n has exposed the inner life and working of the Roman Church as\n does the present volume. It is surprising to see what a keen\n insight Miss Cusack has into the whole Romish system\u2014political,\n social, and literary.\u201d\u2014_Rock._\n\n \u201cThis most interesting, important, and even sensational book.\u2026\n We heartily commend it, and thank most heartily the talented\n authoress for her faithfulness in revealing the hidden evils of\n Romanism.\u201d\u2014_Protestant Observer._\n\n \u201cSome of the instances related by Miss Cusack are heartrending.\n The Romish Church to-day, as ever, is built on lies, forgeries,\n shameless misrepresentations of history and the positions of\n opponents, and suppressions of the truth.\u201d\u2014_Christian World._\n\n \u201cIf there be any belated Protestant in the present day who\n thinks that the Papal Apostasy is a branch of the true Church\n of Christ, and that it is capable of being used by God as an\n instrument for the elevation of mankind, we would advise him\n to read the Nun of Kenmare\u2019s new book. Miss Cusack, like many\n others, was beguiled for a season, but painful experience\n opened her eyes to the true nature of this cleverly devised,\n but corrupt and tyrannical organisation. It is clear from her\n recital that the continued existence of Popery as a religious\n (or rather, irreligious) system, rests on the dense ignorance\n of its votaries. Even a slight knowledge of revealed truth\n would be fatal to the pretensions of the Papacy. The author\n tells us that the best educated of Roman Catholics are entirely\n ignorant of the Bible. The great duty of the hour is to\n enlighten these unhappy people as to the true nature of the\n system that enslaves them. Under the circumstances, that is\n no easy task, but we are hopeful that it is being gradually\n accomplished; and Miss Cusack\u2019s book would go far to bring it\n about if the mass of Romanists could have the opportunity of\n reading it.\u201d\u2014_Christian._","title":"Nunnery life in the Church of England; or, Seventeen years with Father Ignatius","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":51802}