{"collection":"philosophy-ethics","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_60009/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_60009","id":"gutenberg_60009","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60009","summary":null,"tags":["Beards","Category: Fashion","Category: Humour","Category: Philosophy & Ethics"],"text":"PRICE ONE SHILLING.\n\n                                -------\n\n                       The Philosophy of Beards.\n\n                                -------\n\n                 Physiological, Artistic & Historical.\n\n                                   by\n\n                             T. S. Gowing.\n\n                                Ipswich.\n\n                        Published by J. Haddock.\n\n                                London:\n\n                 T. T. Lamare, 2, Oxford Arms Passage.\n                            Paternoster Row\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n[Illustration:\n\n  The Ape and the Goat\n]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                                Preface.\n\n                                -------\n\n\nTHE following Lecture, the first I believe on the specific subject, met\nwith a warm reception from a numerous and good-humoured auditory; and\nreceived long and flattering notices from the local papers, \u201cthe Ipswich\nJournal,\u201d and \u201cthe Suffolk Chronicle.\u201d My enterprising and liberal\npublisher, has thought it worthy of more extended circulation. May the\npublic think with him, and take it off his hands as freely as he has\ntaken it off mine!\n\nI have modified the passages which referred to the illustrations; the\ngreater portion of which it would, independently of expense, have been\nimpossible to give with any effect on a small scale. Mr. F. B. Russel,\n(to whom with his worthy brother artist, Mr. Thomas Smyth, I was\nindebted for the original design,) has, with a kindness I can better\nappreciate than acknowledge, anastaticized the humorous drawing of the\nape and the goat, (page 21,) with which their joint talents enriched my\nLecture. Mr. Russel has also very skilfully introduced into the title\npage, reduced copies of the three view\u2019s of the Greek head of Jupiter,\nreferred to at page 14.\n\nSince its delivery, many notes have been added to the Lecture, which it\nis hoped will afford both amusement and information. It now only remains\nfor me to make my bow, wish my \u201c_fratres barbati_,\u201d long life to their\nBeards, and shout\n\n\n                             Vivat Regina!\n\n                             Floreat Barba!\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n                       The Philosophy of Beards.\n\n\n                             --------------\n\n\n\n\n                             INTRODUCTION.\n\n\nOUR most universal and most imaginative Poet, whose single lines are\noften abstracts and epitomes of poems, makes Hamlet exclaim\u2014\u201cWhat a\npiece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in\nform and moving, how express and admirable! in action, how like an\nangel! in apprehension, how like a God! the beauty of the world! the\nparagon of animals!\u201d And yet this same glorious creature, thus worthily\npraised, is, with singular contradiction, so forgetful of his higher\nattributes, that he can despise his reason! ignore his infinite\nfaculties! deliberately deface that form so express and admirable!\ndescend to actions that smack rather of the demon than the angel! Drown\nhis godlike apprehension in drink! Shave off his majestic beauty! and\nbecome, instead of the paragon\u2014the parody of animals!\n\nO Fashion! most mighty, but most capricious of goddesses! what strange\nvagaries playest thou with the sons and daughters of men! What is there\nso lovely, that thou canst not, with a word, transform into an object of\ndisgust and abhorrence? What so ugly and repulsive, but thou hast the\nart to exalt it into a golden image for thy slaves to worship, on pain\nof the fiery furnace of ridicule? Could a collection be made of the\nforms and figures, modes and mummeries, which thou hast imposed on thy\nofttimes too willing votaries, it would task the most vivid imagination,\nthe most fantastic stretch of fancy, to furnish a description of the\nincongruous contents!\n\nPerhaps no human feature has been more the subject of Fashion\u2019s\nchangeable humours than the BEARD, of which it is purposed to night to\nrender some account, in the hope of being able to prove that in no\ninstance has she been guilty of more deliberate offences against nature\nand reason! With this object in view, the structure, intention, and uses\nof the Beard will be examined, and its artistic relations indicated; its\nhistory will next be traced; and a reply will then be briefly given to\nsome objections against wearing the Beard, not embraced in the preceding\nmatter.\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                             I. PHYSIOLOGY.\n\n                                -------\n\n\nA QUAINT old Latin author asks, \u201cWhat is a Beard? Hair? and what is\nHair? a Beard?\u201d Perhaps a Beard may be defined more clearly by stating,\nthat in its full extent it comprehends all hair visible on the\ncountenance below the eyes, naturally growing down the sides of the\nface, crossing the cheeks by an inverted arch, fringing the upper and\nlower lips, covering the chin above and below, and hanging down in front\nof the neck and throat:\u2014moustaches and whiskers being merely parts of a\ngeneral whole. The hair of the head differs from that of the Beard. In\nan enlarged microscopical view, the former is seen to resemble a\nflattened cylinder, tapering off towards the extremity. It has a rough\nouter bark, and a finer inner coat; and contains, like a plant, its\ncentral pith, consisting of oil and coloring matters. At the lower part\nit is bulbous, and the pith vessels rest on a large vesicle. The bulb is\nenclosed in a fold of the skin, and imbedded in the sebaceous glands.\nThe root is usually inserted obliquely to the surface. Avoiding further\ndetail, let me at once direct your attention to the circumstance, that\nwhereas the hair of the head is only furnished with one pith tube, that\nof the Beard, is provided with two.[1] Is not this a striking fact to\ncommence with? and does it not at once suggest that this extra provision\nmust have a special purpose? It has, as we shall presently see; and only\nnow add, that the hairs of the Beard are more deeply inserted and more\ndurable; flatter, and hence more disposed to curl.\n\nFootnote 1:\n\n  Vide Hassell\u2019s Microscopic Anatomy. Haller says \u201cWithof calculated\n  that the hair of the Beard grows at the rate of 1\u00bd line in the week,\n  which is 6\u00bd inches in the year, and by the time a man reaches eighty,\n  27 feet will have fallen under the edge of the razor.\u201d\n\nAs the Beard makes its appearance simultaneously with one of the most\nimportant natural changes in man\u2019s constitution, it has in all ages been\nregarded as the ensign of manliness. All the leading races of men,\nwhether of warm or cold climates, who have stamped their character on\nhistory\u2014Egyptians, Indians, Jews, Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians,\nArabs, Greeks, Romans, Celts, Turks, Scandinavians, Sclaves\u2014were\nfurnished with an abundant growth of this natural covering. Their\nenterprizes were accordingly distinguished by a corresponding vigour and\ndaring. The fact, too, is indisputable, that their hardiest efforts were\ncotemporaneous with the existence of their Beards; and a closer\ninvestigation would show that the rise and fall of this natural feature\nhas had more influence on the progress and decline of nations, than has\nhitherto been suspected. Though there are _individual_ exceptions, the\nabsence of Beard is usually a sign of physical and moral weakness; and\nin degenerate tribes wholly without, or very deficient, there is a\nconscious want of manly dignity, and contentedness with a low physical,\nmoral, and intellectual condition. Such tribes have to be sought for by\nthe physiologist and ethnologist; the _historian_ is never called upon\nto do honor to their deeds. Nor is it without significance that the\neffeminate Chinese have signalized their present attempt to become once\nmore free men, instead of tartar tools\u2014by a formal resolve to have done\nwith pigtails, and let their hair take its natural course over head and\nchin.[2]\n\nFootnote 2:\n\n  The whiskers of Confucius are said to be preserved as relics in China.\n\nBut the hair does not merely act as an external sign; it has, or it\nwould not be there, its own proper and distinct functions to perform.\nThe most important of these is the protection of some of the most\nsusceptible portions of our frame from cold and moisture\u2014those fruitful\nsources of painful, and often fatal, disease. And what more admirable\ncontrivance could be thought of for this purpose than a free and\ngraceful veil of hair\u2014a substance possessing the important properties of\npower to repel moisture, and to serve as a non-conductor of heat and\nelectricity.\n\nLet me now show you what lies underneath the surface naturally covered\nby the Beard. We have first that ganglion or knot, the seat of the\nexquisitely painful affection tic doloureux. From it you will perceive\nwhite threads of nerves radiating to the jaws precisely in the line\nprotected by the Beard. As you contemplate it, you can hardly fail to be\nstruck with the fact, that in shaving may sometimes originate that local\nparalysis which disfigures the corners of the mouth. Next we have the\nnerves of the teeth, which all know to be so affected by changes of\ntemperature.\n\nGlance now, if you please, at those glands which secrete and elaborate\nthe lymph which is to form part of the circulating fluid, and in which\nscrofula often has its origin, and some say its name. They are\npeculiarly liable to be affected by cold and moisture, presenting then\nthose well-known unsightly swellings about the neck: they therefore\nreceive an extra protection, the hair usually growing much more thickly\non the parts where they are met with than elsewhere.\n\nThere are another set of glands, the sebaceous, which are thickly\nconcentrated on the chin. Now shaving is the cause that the hairs on\nthis part are liable to a peculiar and very irritating disease, which\nimparts a kind of foretaste of purgatory to many unfortunate victims of\nthat unnatural practice. Those with strong beards most righteously\nsuffer the most; for the more efficient the natural protection is, the\ngreater is also the folly of its removal.\n\nLastly, there are the tonsils, and the glands of the throat and larynx.\nFew require to be told how common at present are acute and chronic\naffections of these parts.\n\nThat the Beard was intended as a protection to the whole of them, any\none may satisfy himself by wearing it and then shaving it off in cold or\ndamp weather. If not inclined to try this experiment, and mind I do not\nrecommend it, perhaps the following evidence will be sufficiently\nconvincing. Firstly, the historical fact that the Russian soldiers, when\ncompelled to shave by Peter the Great, suffered most severely. Secondly,\nthe medical testimony extracted from the Professional Dictionary of Dr.\nCopeland, one of the first Physicians of the day, where it is stated,\n\u201cPersons in the habit of wearing long Beards, have often been affected\nwith rheumatic pains in the face, or with sore throat on shaving them\noff. In several cases of chronic sore throat, wearing the Beard under\nthe chin, or upon the throat, has prevented a return of the complaint.\u201d\nThirdly, the fact that several persons in this town (Ipswich) have been\nso cured. And lastly, this brief but important testimony of the men of\nthe Scottish Central Railway, dated Perth, 24th August, 1853.\n\n    \u201cWe, the servants of the Scottish Central Railway, beg to inform\n    you, that having last summer seen a circular recommending the\n    men employed upon railways to cultivate the growth of their\n    Beards, as the best protection against the inclemency of the\n    weather, have been induced to follow this advice; and the\n    benefit we have derived from it, induces us to recommend it to\n    the general adoption of our brothers in similar circumstances\n    throughout the kingdom. We can assure them, from our own\n    experience, that they will by this means be saved from the bad\n    colds and sore throats of such frequent occurrence without this\n    natural protection.\u201d\n\n                          Signed by 5 Guards, 1 Inspector of Police,\n                                        2 Engine Men, and 1 Fireman.\n\nLet us next see, for it is a highly interesting point in a\nconsumption-breeding climate like ours, where thousands of victims\nannually die, _how_ the entrances to the air passages and lungs are\nprotected by the upper part of the beard\u2014the moustache. We draw air in\ncommonly through the nose, and breathe it out through the mouth: though\noccasionally the two passages exchange functions. In a section of the\nnose, the interior of the nostril is seen to communicate, by a slightly\ncurved passage, with the back entrance to the mouth and throat. Now as\nthe incoming air must follow the direction of the draught, you will\nreadily perceive that any air entering by the nostrils must pass through\nor over the hair of the moustache, and be warmed in the passage: and\nwhen the air makes its way by the mouth, it must pass under the\nmoustache and be warmed, like that under the eaves of a thatched roof.\n\nThe moustache, however, not merely warms the inspired air, but filters\nit from superfluous moisture, dirt, dust, and smoke; and soon we trust\nit will be deemed as rational to deprive the upper lip of its protecting\nfringe, as to shave the eyebrows or pluck out the eyelashes.[3]\n\nFootnote 3:\n\n  I can from personal experience state, that being subject when younger\n  to swelling of the upper lip from cold, previous to entering\n  Switzerland I allowed my moustache to grow. During six weeks excursion\n  on foot, exposed to all weathers and stopping for none, being at one\n  moment in warm valleys and a few hours afterwards at the top of\n  ice-clad mountains, I never felt the least uncomfortableness about the\n  mouth. When on returning home, however, I was foolish enough to shave,\n  I paid dearly for the operation.\n\nThose to whom the extent of preventible disease among our\nartizans\u2014disease arising solely from their employments is unknown, I\nmust refer to Mr. Thackrah\u2019s book on that specific subject. Scientific\ningenuity had long attempted to devise contrivances to relieve the men\nfrom some of these diseases; but the schemes were found too cumbrous, or\notherwise impracticable. As so often happens, what _men_ were profoundly\nsearching for, _nature_ had placed directly under their noses. Mr.\nChadwick, to whom the public are indebted for much valuable information\non questions connected with the public health, and Dr. Alison, of\nGlasgow, one of whom had seen the particles of iron settling on and\nstaining the Beards of foreign smiths; and the other had noticed the\ndusty Beards of foreign masons when at work, were led to the conclusion,\nindependently of each other, that the iron and stone dust were much\nbetter deposited on the Beard (whence they could be washed), than in the\nlungs, where they would be sure to cause disease. The lungs of a mason\nfor instance are preserved in Edinburgh, which are one concrete mass of\nstone. These gentlemen published their convictions; and through the\nbeneficial agency of the press, that information, aided by papers in the\n\u201cBuilder,\u201d and in \u201cDickens\u2019s Household Words,\u201d soon found its way to our\nartizans, many of whom have tried the experiment, and borne testimony to\nits satisfactory results. At this juncture, let us also hope that the\nreiterated opinions of eminent Army Surgeons will at length be listened\nto, and the British Soldier be freed from the apoplectic leathern stock,\nand allowed to wear that protection which nature endowed him with. To\nthe latter the most rigid economist cannot object, since it will add\nnothing to the estimates, while it will enable the soldier to offer, if\nnot a bolder, at least a more formidable front, to the foe, and save him\nfrom many of the hazards of the march in which more die than on the\nfield of battle!\n\nThough the subject has as yet received too little scientific attention,\nthere can be no doubt that the hair generally has a further important\nfunction to perform in regulating the electricity which is so intimately\nconnected with the condition of the nerves.\n\nI have reserved to the last the curious fact, which in itself is\nperfectly conclusive as to the protecting office of the Beard, and\nexplains why its hair has additional provision for its nourishment; and\nthis fact is, that while the hair of the head usually falls off with the\napproach of age, that of the Beard, on the contrary, continues to _grow_\nand _thicken_ to the latest period of life. He must be indeed insensible\nto all evidence of design, who does not acknowledge in this a wise and\nbeneficent provision, especially when he connects with it the other\nwell-known fact, that the skull becomes denser, and the brain less\nsensitive, while the parts shielded by the Beard are more susceptible\nthan ever, and have less vitality to contend with prejudicial\ninfluences.\n\nBefore proceeding further it may be as well briefly to answer the\nquestion, why, if Beards be so necessary for men, women have no\nprovision of the kind? The reason I take to be this, that they are\nwomen, and were consequently never intended to be exposed to the\nhardships and difficulties men are called upon to undergo. Woman was\nmade a help meet for man, and it was designed that man should in return,\nprotect her to the utmost of his power from those external circumstances\nwhich it is his duty boldly to encounter. Her hair grows naturally\nlonger, and in the savage state she is accustomed to let it fall over\nthe neck and shoulders. The ancient Athenian and Lombard women are even\nsaid to have accompanied their husbands to the battle-field with their\nhair so arranged as to imitate the Beard. In more civilized society,\nvarious contrivances are resorted to by the gentler sex for protection,\nwhich would be utterly unsuitable to the sterner. In saying this I do\nnot include the present absurd bonnet, which seems purposely contrived\nto expose rather than shield the fair, and to excite our pity and cause\nus to tremble while we cannot but admire!\n\nTwo curious exceptional cases of bearded women must not be passed over;\none, that of a female soldier in the army of Charles XII, who was taken\nat the battle of Pultowa, where she had fought with a courage worthy of\nher Beard: the other, that of Margaret of Parma, the celebrated Regent\nof the Netherlands, who conceived that her Beard imparted such dignity\nto her appearance, that she would never allow a hair of it to be\ntouched.\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                         II. ARTISTIC DIVISION.\n\n\nNOT only was the Beard intended to serve the important purposes just\ndescribed; but, combining beauty with utility, to impart manly grace and\nfree finish to the male face. To its picturesqueness Poets and Painters,\nthe most competent judges, have borne universal testimony. It is indeed\nimpossible to view a series of bearded portraits, however indifferently\nexecuted, without feeling that they possess dignity, gravity, freedom,\nvigour, and completeness; while in looking on a row of razored faces,\nhowever illustrious the originals, or skilful the artists, a sense of\nartificial conventional bareness is experienced.\n\nAddison gives vent to the same notion, when he makes Sir Roger de\nCoverley point to a venerable bust in Westminster Abbey, and ask\n\u201cwhether our forefathers did not look much wiser in their Beards, than\nwe without them?\u201d and say, \u201cfor my part, when I am in my gallery in the\ncountry, and see my ancestors, who many of them died before they were of\nmy age, I cannot forbear regarding them as so many old Patriarchs, and\nat the same time looking upon myself as an idle smock-faced young\nfellow. I love to see your Abrahams, your Isaacs, and your Jacobs, as we\nhave them in the old pieces of tapestry, with Beards below their girdles\nthat cover half the hangings.\u201d The knight added, \u201cif I would recommend\nBeards in one of my papers, and endeavour to restore human faces to\ntheir ancient dignity, upon a month\u2019s warning he would undertake to lead\nup the fashion himself in a pair of whiskers.\u201d In reference to this last\nallusion it may be as well to state, that the word whisker is frequently\nused by earlier authors to denote the moustache, and that in Addison\u2019s\ntime, a mass of false hair was worn, and the head and face close shaven.\n\nTo shew that it is the Beard alone that causes the sensation we have\nalluded to, look at two drawings on exactly the same original outline,\nof a Greek head of Jupiter, the one with, the other without the Beard!\nWhat say you? Is not the experiment a sort of \u201coccular demonstration\u201d in\nfavor of nature, and a justification of art and artists? See how the\nforehead of the bearded one rises like a well-supported dome\u2014what depth\nthe eyes acquire\u2014how firm the features become\u2014how the muscular\nangularity is modified\u2014into what free flowing lines the lower part of\nthe oval is resolved, and what gravity the increased length given to the\nface imparts.\n\nAs amusing and instructive pendants, take two drawings of the head of a\nlion, one with and the other without the mane. You will see how much of\nthe majesty of the king of the woods, as well as that of the lord of the\nearth, dwells in this free flowing appendage. By comparing these\ndrawings with those of Jupiter, you will detect, I think, in the head of\nthe lion whence the Greek sculptor drew his ideal of this noble type of\ngodlike humanity.\n\nSince this idea struck me, Mr. John Marshall, in a lecture at the\nGovernment School of Practical Art, has remarked, \u201cthat nature leaves\nnothing but what is beautiful uncovered, and that the masculine chin is\nseldom sightly, because it was _designed to be covered_, while the chins\nof women are generally beautiful.\u201d This view he supported by instancing,\n\u201cthat the bear, the rabbit, the cat, and the bird, are hideous to look\nupon when deprived of their hairy and feathery decorations: but the\nhorse, the greyhound, and other animals so sparingly covered that the\nshape remains unaltered by the fur, are beautiful even in their naked\nforms.\u201d This argument, it seems to me, applies with greater force to the\nvarious ages of man. In the babe, the chin is exceedingly soft, and its\ncurve blends into those of the face and neck: in the boy it still\nretains a feminine gentleness of line, but as he advances to the youth,\nthe bones grow more and more prominent, and the future character begins\nto stamp itself upon the form: at the approach of manhood, the lines\ncombining with those of the mouth become more harsh, angular, and\ndecided; in middle age, various ugly markings establish themselves about\nboth, which in age are rendered not only deeper, but increased in number\nby the loss of the teeth and the falling in of the lips, which of course\ndistorts all the muscles connected with the mouth. Such, however, is the\nforce of prejudice founded on custom, that people who sink themselves to\nthe ears in deep shirt collars, and to the chin in starched cravat and\nstiffened stock, muffle themselves in comforters till their necks are as\nbig as their waists; nay do not demur some of them to be seen in that\nabomination of ugliness\u2014that huge black patch of deformity\u2014a respirator,\nhave still sufficient face left to tell us that the expression of the\ncountenance would be injured by restoring the Beard!\n\nA word, therefore, on the expression of Bearded faces. The works of the\nGreeks,[4] the paintings of the old Masters, but above all the\nproductions of the pencil of Raphael, justly styled \u201cthe Painter of\nExpression,\u201d is a sufficient general answer to this ill-considered\ncharge. It would indeed be strange if He who made the male face, and\nfixed the laws of every feature\u2014clothing it with hair, as with a\ngarment, should in this last particular have made an elaborate provision\nto mar the excellency of His own work! Nothing indeed but the long\neffeminizing of our faces could have given rise to the present shaven\nideal\u2014to the forgetfulness of the true standard of masculine beauty of\nexpression, which is naturally as antipodal as the magnetic north and\nsouth poles, to that of female loveliness, where delicacy of line,\nblushing changeable colour, and eyes that win by seeming not to wish it,\nare charms we all feel, and at the same time understand how\ninappropriate they are when applied to the opposite sex; where the bold\nenterprizing brow\u2014the deep penetrating eye\u2014the daring, sagacious nose,\nand the fleshy but firm mouth, well supported on the decided projecting\nchin, proclaim a being who has an appointed path to tread, and hard\nrough work to do, in this world of difficulties and ceaseless\ntransition.\n\nFootnote 4:\n\n  Elmes says, \u201cThe Beard in Art has an ideal character as an attribute,\n  and distinguished by its undulating curl the Beard of Jupiter Olympius\n  from that of Jupiter Serapis (who has a longer and straighter Beard)\n  the lank Beard of Neptune and the river Gods, from the short and\n  frizzly Beards of Hercules, Ajax, Diomede, Ulysses, &c.\u201d\n\nSo much for the general charge; if we examine the separate features,\nthere can be no question that the upper part of the face\u2014the most\ngodlike portion\u2014where the mind sits enthroned, gains in expression by\nthe addition of and contrast with the Beard; the nose also is thrown\ninto higher relief, while the eyes acquire both depth and brilliancy.\nThe mouth, which is especially the seat of the affections, its\nsurrounding muscles rendering it the reflex of every passing emotion,\nowes its general expression to the line between the lips\u2014the key to\nfamily likeness; and this line is more sharply defined by the shadow\ncast by the moustache, from which the teeth also acquire additional\nwhiteness, and the lips a brighter red. Neither the mouth nor chin are,\nas we have said, unsightly in early life, but at a later period the case\nis otherwise. There is scarcely indeed a more _naturally_ disgusting\nobject than a beardless old man (compared by the Turks to a \u201cplucked\npigeon,\u201d) with all the deep-ploughed lines of effete passions, grasping\navarice, disappointed ambition, the pinchings of poverty, the swollen\nlines of self-indulgence, and the distortions of disease and decay! Now\nthe Beard, which, as the Romans phrased it, \u201cbuds\u201d on the face of youth\nin a soft downiness in harmony with immature manliness, and lengthens\nand thickens with the progress of life, keeps gradually covering,\nvarying, and beautifying, as the \u201cmantling ivy\u201d the rugged oak, or the\nantique tower, and by playing with its light free forms over the harsher\ncharacteristics, imparts new graces even to decay, by heightening all\nthat is still pleasing, veiling all that is repulsive.\n\nThe colour of the Beard is usually warmer than that of the hair of the\nhead, and reflection soon suggests the reason. The latter comes into\ncontact chiefly with the forehead, which has little colour; but the\nBeard grows out of the face where there is always more or less. Now\nnature makes use of the colours of the face in painting the Beard\u2014a\nreason by the bye for not attempting to alter the original hue, and\ncarries off her warm and cold colours by that means. Never shall I\nforget the circumstance of a gentleman with high colour, light brown\nhair, full whiskers of a warm brown, deepening into a warm black, and\ngood looking, though his features, especially the nose, were not\nregular\u2014taking a whim into his head to shave off his whiskers. Deprived\nof this fringe, the colour of his cheeks looked spotty, his nose forlorn\nand wretched, and his whole face like a house on a hill-top exposed to\nthe north east, from which the sheltering plantations had been\nruthlessly removed.\n\nThe following singular fact in connection with the colour of the Beard,\nI learnt in chance conversation with a hairdresser. Observing that\npersons like him with high complexion and dark hair, had usually a\npurple black beard: he said, \u201cthat\u2019s true, sir,\u201d and told me he had\n\u201cfound in his own Beard, and in those of his customers, distinct red\nhairs intermingled with the black,\u201d just as it is stated that in the\ngrey fur of animals there are distinct rings of white and black hairs.\nThis purplish bloom of a black Beard is much admired by the Persians;\nand curiously enough they produce the effect by a red dye of henna\npaste, followed by a preparation of indigo.\n\nThere is one other point connected with colour which ought not to be\nomitted. All artists know the value of white in clearing up colours. Now\nlet any one look at an old face surrounded by white hair, whether in man\nor woman, and he will perceive a harmonizing beauty in it, that no\nartificial imitation of more youthful colours can possibly impart. In\nthis, as in other cases, the natural is the most becoming.\n\nPermit me to conclude this section of my lecture by reminding all who\nwish to let their Beards grow, that there is a law above fashion, and\nthat each individual face is endowed with its individual Beard, the form\nand colour of which is determined by similar laws to those which\nregulate the tint of the skin, the form and colour of the hair of the\nhead, eyebrows, and eyelashes; and therefore the most becoming, even if\nugly in itself, to their respective physiognomies. What suits a square\nface, will not suit an oval, and a high forehead demands a different\nBeard to a low one. Leave the matter therefore to nature, and in due\nseason the fitting form and colour will manifest themselves. And here\nparties who have never shaved have this great advantage over those who\nhave yielded to the unnatural custom, that hair will only be visible,\neven when present, in its proper place, be better in character and\ncolour, and more graceful in its form.\n\nAnd now, ladies and gentlemen, as all history we are told grew out of\nfable, allow me, as a sort of intermezzo, to preface my history by \u201ca\nFable for the Times.\u201d\n\n                An Ape, one day, said to a Goat,\n                \u201cWhy wear that nasty ugly Beard?\n                I\u2019ll shave you for a quarter groat\n                Cleaner than Sheep was ever shear\u2019d.\u201d\n\n                \u201cThank you, Sir Ape!\u201d the Goat replied,\n                \u201cI\u2019ll think of it.\u201d To court he ran,\n                Where he the foplings busy spied\n                Effacing ev\u2019ry mark of man:\n\n                Thinking to win the softer sex\n                By making themselves _softer_ still.\n                \u201cAh!\u201d says our Goat, \u201cah! ah! I\u2019feggs,\n                I\u2019ll be in fashion, that I will!\u201d\n\n                He seats himself, the Ape\u2019s not slow,\n                But tucks the cloth in, and then lathers;\n                When lo! stalk\u2019d by a goodly row,\n                A solemn train of old Church Fathers!\n\n                With these came Doctors of each Art,\n                And each one pointed to his Beard!\n                Our Goat sprang up, with sudden start,\n                Like one whom conscience makes afeard.\n\n                \u201cO Ape! this man\u2019s a creature brave,\n                To whom we all like slaves submit;\n                Bearded to-day\u2014t\u2019morrow he\u2019ll shave,\n                Then where\u2019s the good of his boasted wit!\n\n                \u201cThere\u2019s your apron! take your basin!\n                \u2019Tis best to abide by nature\u2019s rule:\n                His Beard no Goat will see disgrace in,\n                Whom nature did not make a fool!\u201d\n\n                                 MORAL.\n\n          Let your Beards grow in their natural shapes,\n          God made you all _Men_, don\u2019t make yourselves _Apes_!\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                        III. HISTORICAL SURVEY.\n\n                                -------\n\n                               EGYPTIANS.\n\n\nHAVING seen that the Beard is a natural feature of the male face, and\nthat the Creator intended it for distinction, protection, and ornament,\nlet us turn lightly over the pages of history and examine the estimation\nin which it has been held at various times among the leading people,\nancient and modern.\n\nThe first nation which suggests itself is the Egyptian, and very\npeculiar forms of Beard were assigned by them on their monuments to\ntheir gods, kings, and common people. That of the gods is curled and the\nlength of the oval of the face: that of the kings is shaped like an\nEgyptian doorway, and three fourths of the same standard: of which the\npeople\u2019s is one fourth and nearly square. This appendage seems from the\nappearance of an attaching band to have been frequently artificial, and\nprobably the Egyptians, who, as you may see by the wig in the British\nMuseum, wore false hair, also wore false Beards. Some have supposed the\nforms alluded to, to be mere symbols of the male sex on the monuments;\nbut this notion is disproved by male persons being represented without\nthem. That they were occasionally so used, however, is clear from the\nkingly Beard on that symbol of royalty the Sphynx.\n\nThe priests of this ancient nation are stated to have removed every hair\nfrom the body thrice a week; and they ultimately compelled the people to\nshave both their heads and faces; and all slaves and servants, though\nforeigners, were obliged to do the same. That this arose from some\nsuperstitious notion of cleanliness, is confirmed by the remark of\nHerodotus, \u201cthat no Egyptian of either sex, would on any account kiss\nthe lips of a bearded Greek, or make use of his knife, spit, or\ncauldron, or taste the meat of an animal which had been slaughtered by\nhis hand.\u201d\n\nIn times of mourning, however, the Egyptians allowed the hair of the\nhead and Beard to grow in token of grief.\n\n\n                                 JEWS.\n\nSuch was the practice of the Egyptians; and it is highly important to\ntake the Jews next, because at the period of our first knowledge of them\nas a people, they appear in bondage to the former nation; and it is now\ngenerally believed that most of the usages established by Moses had more\nor less reference to Egyptian customs, from which he was desirous of\nweaning them. As might be expected from the inspired Lawgiver, whose\nsublime books start with the grand assertion, that man was made \u201cin the\nexpress image of God,\u201d any attempt to alter the natural features of the\n\u201chuman face divine,\u201d was denounced and emphatically interdicted. Twice\nis the commandment issued\u2014first to the whole people, \u201cthou shalt not mar\nthe corners of thy Beard,\u201d in other words, thou shalt not alter the form\nthereof, which I thy God have appointed! Then to the Priests, with the\naddition, that they should not make baldness upon their heads. It is of\nthe utmost consequence to recall the superstitious practice of the\nEgyptian Priests, and to remember that Moses issued this command to the\nAaronites, fresh from Egypt, because it most convincingly shews that the\npractice of shaving, even when resorted to with the view of pleasing the\nDeity, by an extreme degree of external purity, in approaching His\nmysterious presence, was directly and most absolutely forbidden. It is\nas if God had said, \u201cWhat art thou, O man! who thinkest in thy vain\nimagination that I, thy Creator, knew not how to fashion thee! and\nblasphemously supposest that thou canst please me, by superstitiously\nsacrificing what I, in my Almighty wisdom, had endowed thee with, for\nprotection and ornament!\u201d And, as if to mark the distinction more\nstrongly, Moses enjoined in the strictest manner every ordinary and\nnatural method of purifying the person.\n\nIt cannot but be instructive to note, that thus on the very threshold of\nhistory, we have two customs so opposite brought into contrast\u2014the one\nstrongly condemned, the other most awfully sanctioned. And it is the\nmore necessary to mark this, because there are many religious persons\nwho have by custom acquired the Egyptian notion, and forgotten its\nemphatic condemnation. There are many who, though told that certain\ndiseases to which the more active of the clergy are specially liable,\nmight be prevented and may be cured, by simply wearing the Beard, will\nstill insist upon their ministers paying the penalty invariably\nattaching to a violation of God\u2019s laws, because their prejudices lead\nthem to fancy a smooth face rather than a manly one.\n\nAs further confirmation of our idea that the object of this law of Moses\nwas to prevent any of the natural features from being materially\naltered\u2014he objected not to trimming the Beard, which was a common Jewish\npractice\u2014is to be found in the first verse of the 14th chapter of\nDeuteronomy, where the people are commanded not to shave their eyebrows;\nwhich was a customary mark of grief among some bearded nations. The Jews\ntoo, unlike the Persians and others, instead of shaving the Beard in\ntime of mourning\u2014though in the violence of oriental grief they sometimes\nplucked it\u2014usually left it merely untrimmed or veiled, till the days of\nmourning were passed.\n\nYou all remember the fearful vengeance David took when his ambassadors\nwere disgraced by shaving their Beards.\n\nThe Beard continued to be worn in all its glory by these chosen people,\nand it would be impossible for us to imagine to ourselves the appearance\nof any of their patriarchs, judges, priests, prophets, or mature\nkings\u2014or of the sublime founder of our religion\u2014or of the chosen\ntwelve\u2014save the youthful John, without this venerable and venerated\nfeature. What painter would dare such an offence to our most sacred\nassociations, as to represent any of these with the smirking smoothness\nof razored neatness!\n\nThat in Mahomet\u2019s time, the Jews still held to their primitive custom,\nis evident from that lawgiver\u2019s command to his followers to clip the\nwhiskers and Beard, in order to distinguish themselves from the Jews.\nIndeed the latter, in every way most remarkable people, have clung to\nthe prescribed custom with all the force of religious feeling and firm\nconviction. And however in modern times some of the laity, impelled by a\ndesire to mix unobserved amongst the populations of Western Europe, may\nhave sacrificed conviction to convenience, their Rabbies have remained\ninvariably consistent in their testimony to truth and nature; and one of\nthe most enduring impressions of my youth is the remembrance of the\nChief Rabbi Herschel treading the streets of London, like the last of\nthe prophets, in dark robes, with long pale face and flowing Beard,\n\n                 And eyes, whose deep mysterious glow,\n                 Disdainful of each fleeting show,\n                 Dwelt in the old and sacred past,\n                 Or Seer-like scann\u2019d the future, vast.\n\n\n                       ASSYRIANS AND BABYLONIANS.\n\nThe Assyrians and Babylonians, as we know from the researches and\ndiscoveries of Layard and others, wore highly ornamental Beards, in\nwhich they were followed by the ancient Persians, and the bands\nappearing on them were of gold.\n\n\n                      PERSIANS, ARABS, AND TURKS.\n\nThe ancient Arabs, like their kindred, the Jews, were Bearded, and like\nthem also they have preserved their Beards intact, though their faith\nhas more than once changed. From Mahomet\u2019s time we may class them for\nour purpose with the Turks and Persians, since all have manifested the\nsame respect for the Beard, looking upon it as the perfection and\ncompletion of man\u2019s countenance and the type of freedom; and shaving as\na mark of debasement and slavery.[5] Mahomet, who sanctioned dyeing the\nBeard, preferred that it should be of a cane colour, which was the hue\nassigned by tradition to Abraham\u2019s. One of the points of Persian heresy\nis preferring a black Beard, and a particular cut; and about this\nhair-splitting difference, they once waged a cruel war with the Uzbec\nTartars, in which they were accustomed to lay their enemies\u2019 Beards as\ntrophies at the feet of the Shah.\n\nFootnote 5:\n\n  \u201cIt is customary to shave the Ottoman Princes as a mark of subjection\n  to the reigning Sultan; and those who serve in the Seraglio have their\n  Beards shaven as a sign of servitude, and do not suffer it to grow\n  till the Sultan has set them at liberty.\u201d\u2014_Burder\u2019s Oriental Customs._\n  Volney says, \u201cAt length Ibrahim Bey suffered Ali his page to let his\n  Beard grow, _i.e._, gave him his freedom, for among the Turks to want\n  the Beard is thought only fit for slaves and women.\u201d\n\nAs instances of respect paid to the Beard, we may cite the common\nMahomedan oath \u201cby the Beard of the Prophet!\u201d and the form of\nsupplication, \u201cby your Beard, or the life of your Beard.\u201d The Turks will\npoint to theirs and say, \u201cdo you think this venerable Beard could lie?\u201d\nAnd a man\u2019s testimony used to be so much measured by his Beard, that in\nhiring a witness, length of this appendage was an indispensable\nqualification. To touch another\u2019s Beard, unless to kiss it respectfully,\nis considered by all these people a great insult. When two friends meet,\nto kiss it, sometimes on both sides, answers to our shake of the\nhand\u2014how are you? and \u201cmay God preserve your Beard!\u201d is a form of\ninvoking a blessing on a friend. In the bosoms of their families the\nBeard is treated as an object of reverential fondness\u2014wife and children\nkissing it with the most tender and respectful affection. To express\nhigh value for a thing, they say, \u201cit is worth more than one\u2019s\nBeard.\u201d[6]\n\nFootnote 6:\n\n  Dr. Wolff says, Mahomed Effendi told him \u201cthat the Mahomedans believed\n  that though Noah lived 1000 years, no hair of his blessed Beard fell\n  off, or became white; while that of the Devil consists only of one\n  long hair;\u201d and the same Mahomed, wishing to compliment two\n  midshipmen, \u201choped they would some day have fine long Beards like\n  himself.\u201d\n\n\u201cShame on your Beard!\u201d is a term of reproach, and \u201cI spit on your\nBeard!\u201d an expression of the most profound contempt. When the Shah of\nPersia, in 1826, was speaking to our Ambassador, (Sir J. Malcolm,)\nconcerning the Russians, to shew how low he esteemed them, he exclaimed,\n\u201cI spit on their Beards!\u201d[7]\n\nFootnote 7:\n\n  Niebuhr says, \u201cI once saw, in a caravan, an Arab highly offended at a\n  man who had accidentally bespattered his Beard. It was with difficulty\n  he could be appeased, even though the offender humbly asked his\n  pardon, and kissed his Beard in token of submission.\u201d Though I avoided\n  breaking the argument by its insertion under the account of the Jews,\n  it may be interesting to state, that Moses, in Numbers, orders a man\n  to be considered unclean for seven days, whose Beard has been defiled\n  in this way: and that David could scarcely have devised a more\n  efficient means to convince Achish of his madness, than the expedient\n  he adopted of allowing his saliva to descend upon his Beard.\n\nTo cut off the Beard is considered a deep disgrace and degradation. The\nnoted Wahahee Chief Saoud was accustomed to shave the Beard as a\npunishment for the gravest offences. He had long wished to purchase the\nmare of a Sheikh of the Shahmanny tribe, but all his offers were\nrejected. A Sheikh of the Kahtans, however, having been sentenced to\nlose his hairy honors, when the barber appeared, exclaimed, \u201cO Saoud,\ntake the mare of the Shahmanny as a ransom for my Beard!\u201d The offer was\naccepted, and a bargain struck with the owner of the mare for 2,500\ndollars, which he declared he would not have taken, nor any other sum,\nhad it not been to save the Beard of a noble Kahtan.\n\nEven when disease or accident renders necessary the removal of the whole\nor part of the Beard, it is only at the last extremity that an Arab will\nyield; and then he lives secluded, or if obliged to go out, wears a\nthick black veil, until his chin can reappear \u201cwith all its pristine\nhonours blushing thick upon it.\u201d\n\nAlmost every Mahomedan carries a comb with him for the sole purpose of\narranging his Beard: this is often done, especially after prayers; when\nthe devotee usually remains sitting on his heels and industriously using\nthe comb. The hairs which fall are carefully collected, to be either\nburied with the owner, or deposited previously in his tomb, after having\nbeen first separately broken in order to release the guardian angels.\n\nTo perfume and fumigate the Beard with incense is a common eastern\ncustom.\n\nIn mourning, the Persians shave themselves; and Herodotus relates one\ninstance when they also cropped the manes and tails of their horses in\nhonor of their leader Mardonius.\n\nOne wiseacre of a Sultan is said to have shaved his Beard, saying \u201chis\ncouncillors should never lead him by it, as they had done his\nforefathers!\u201d forgetting that he had still left them the convenient\nhandle of his nose\u2014by which, as you know, ladies and gentlemen, people\nhave been led from time immemorial. Let me hope, therefore, no one will\ncite this as an historical precedent for shaving.\n\nHe was fortunately succeeded by wiser men, and the Sultan is yet\ndistinguished by a goodly Beard:[8] as is also the Shah of Persia, and\nall the Arabs and their Chiefs.\n\nFootnote 8:\n\n  It used to be considered one of the almost impossible feats of\n  Chivalry to pluck a hair from the Sultan\u2019s Beard.\u2014(May the Russians\n  find it quite so!) The romance of Oberon is founded on this notion,\n  and Shakspeare makes Benedict say in a spirit of bravado, \u201cI\u2019ll fetch\n  you a hair off the great Cham\u2019s Beard.\u201d (_i.e._ Khan of Tartary\u2019s\n  Beard.)\n\n\n                                GREEKS.\n\nThe ancient Greeks were world-famous for their Beards. All Homer\u2019s\nheroes are bearded, and Nestor the Sage is described as stroking his as\na graceful prelusion to an oration. Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto,\nMars, Vulcan, Mercury, are represented with Beards. Apollo is without,\nas an emblem of perpetual youth. Hercules and the demigods are also well\nfurnished. And \u00c6sculapius the God of Health,\u2014significant fact!\u2014is most\nabundantly endowed. The mother of Achilles, when supplicating Jupiter,\ntouches his Beard with one hand, with the other his knee.\n\nAs might be supposed from their hardy characteristics, the Spartans\nespecially cherished the Beard. When one Nicander was asked why? he\nreplied, \u201cbecause we esteem it the ornament that preeminently\ndistinguishes man.\u201d It being demanded of another why he wore so _long_ a\nBeard? his noble reply was, \u201cSince it is grown white, it incessantly\nreminds me not to dishonor my old age.\u201d[9] Plutarch, after mentioning\nthe bushy hair and Beard of the Spartan commander Lysander, says, \u201cthat\nLycurgus was of opinion that abundance of hair and Beard made those who\nwere fair, more so, and those who were ugly, more terrible to their\nenemies.\u201d Regarding shaving as a mark of slavish servitude, they\ncompelled their chief magistrates to shave their upper lips during their\nterm of office, to remind them that though administrators of the laws,\nthey were still subject to them.\n\nFootnote 9:\n\n  The Rev. John More, of Norwich, a worthy clergyman in Elizabeth\u2019s\n  reign, who is said to have had the longest and largest Beard of any\n  Englishman of his time, seems to have chosen this Spartan for his\n  model; since when asked to give a reason for it he replied, \u201cthat no\n  act of his life might be unworthy of the gravity of his appearance.\u201d\n  And Baudinus, quoted by Pagenstecher, says, Frederick Taubman, the\n  celebrated German wit, humourist, and theologian, being asked the same\n  question answered, \u201cin order that whenever I behold these hairs, I may\n  remember that I am no vile coward or old woman, but a man, called\n  Frederick Taubman.\u201d\n\nThe Greeks in general continued to wear the Beard till the decay of\nAthenian virtue brought that free state into subjection to the\nMacedonian Conqueror, who, according to Plutarch, ordered his soldiers\nto shave, lest their Beards should afford a handle to their enemies.\nThis must have been when he was in one of his drunken fits, or he might\nhave had them trimmed like the old Greek warriors.[10] Be that as it\nmay, Greek freedom and Greek Beards expired together.\n\nFootnote 10:\n\n  That the Beard, however, sometimes afforded a handle to an enemy in\n  ancient times, when swords, especially the Greek, were very short, is\n  admitted. And I possess an engraving from one of Raphael\u2019s Vatican\n  Cartoons, where one soldier is represented in the act of cutting down\n  another whom he has seized by the Beard. He must be a poor master of\n  his weapon, however, who in modern times would allow a man to grasp\n  his Beard without being hewn down or run through in the process.\n\nDiogenes, cotemporary with Alexander, once asked a smooth-chinned\nvoluptuary whether he quarrelled with nature for making him a man\ninstead of a woman? And Phocion rebuking one who courted the people and\naffected a long Spartan Beard, said to him, \u201cif thou needs must flatter,\nwhy didst thou not clip thy Beard?\u201d\n\nIt is a curious fact for those who resolve civilization into shaving,\nthat the only parties in ancient Greece who retained their Beards under\nall changes were the Philosophers, or lovers of wisdom\u2014they with whom\nall that distinguished Greek intellect was a special study and\nprofession; who were in fact the most civilized portion of the\ncommunity.\n\nFrom the time of the Emperor Justinian the Greeks resumed the Beard,\nwhich was worn by all the Greek Emperors down to the last, the\nunfortunate Paleologus, who died fighting bravely at the taking of\nConstantinople by the Turks. It was by these Emperors regarded as an\nensign of royalty\u2014an attribute of kingly majesty.\n\n\n                           ETRUSCANS\u2014ROMANS.\n\nThe Etruscans represented their gods with Beards, and wore them\nthemselves; as did the Romans. Every schoolboy recollects the awe\ninspired to the invading Gauls when, on entering the Senate-house, they\nsaw the conscript Fathers sitting calm and immovable as the gods, for\nwhich the Barbarians at first view took them, till one bolder than the\nrest plucked at the Beard of the noble Marcus Papirius, who by\nindignantly raising his staff, unconsciously gave the signal for the\nmurder of himself, and his venerable compatriots.\n\nDuring all the best ages of the Republic, while the old Roman virtue\nretained something of its original vigour, and before it had been sapped\nand undermined by the imported vices and effeminate customs of conquered\nnations, Rome\u2019s statesmen, heroes, priests and people all wore, and all\nreverenced, the virile glories of the Beard!\n\nIt was not till the year of Rome 454, about three centuries before our\nera, that one of those corrupt Pr\u00e6tors, who usually returned laden with\nforeign gold, and pampered with foreign luxury, imported a stock of\nBarbers from Sicily; and that credulous gossip Pliny libels the younger\nScipio Africanus by stating\u2014calumnious on dit!\u2014\u201cthat he was the first\nwho shaved his whole Beard.\u201d This is just one of those instances where a\nfoolish custom, like a bad piece of wit, is sought to be fathered on\nsome world-renowned name.\n\nLong after the above date, the Beard was only partially shaved or\ntrimmed; and the same word (tondere) is sometimes used to mean either.\nOf course when once the fashion had set in, it was, as with us,\nconsidered unbecoming to wear a Beard; and Marcus Livius on his return\nfrom banishment, was compelled by the Censors to shave, before appearing\nin the Senate.\n\nWith the increasing growth of vice and effeminacy among this once hardy\nrace, the decreasing Beard kept pace.[11] C\u00e6sar, the real founder of the\nempire, by whom every kind of foppery and debauchery was indulged in as\na mask to deep schemes of ambition, of course shaved;[12] and having\ndone so, shaving continued to be the imperial fashion down to the time\nof Hadrian, (whose bold Roman head I exhibited, as the first restorer of\nmanly beauty.) From his time most of the Emperors[13] wore it till\nConstantine, who shaved out of superstition. His father had a noble\nBeard.\n\nFootnote 11:\n\n  Suetonius says, \u201che was excessively nice about his body, that he was\n  not only sheered and shaved, but plucked.\u201d\n\nFootnote 12:\n\n  Besides shaving, the Romans as they progressed in luxurious\n  effeminacy, used depilatories, tweezers and all sorts of contrivances\n  to make themselves as little like men and as much like women as\n  possible; and their satirists abound with passages impossible to quote\n  with decency on the causes and consequences of this abrogation of the\n  distinctive peculiarities of the two sexes.\n\nFootnote 13:\n\n  Pagenstecher says, \u201cone of the Emperors of Rome refused to admit to an\n  audience certain Ambassadors of the Veneti, because they had no\n  Beards.\u201d\n\nEven after the custom of shaving was introduced, the first appearance of\nthe Beard was hailed with joy, and usually about the time of assuming\nthe toga; the \u201cfirst fruits\u201d of hair were solemnly consecrated\u2014relict of\nprevious respect\u2014to some god, as in the case of Nero,[14] who presented\nhis in a golden box, set with jewels, to the Capitoline Jupiter.[15]\n\nFootnote 14:\n\n  The branch of the Roman family to which Nero belonged was called\n  Enobarbus, copper-coloured or red Beard; and the legend of the family\n  was, that the Dioscuri announced to one of their ancestors a victory,\n  and to confirm the truth of what was said, stroked his black hair and\n  Beard, and turned them red. Cn. Domitius, who was Censor with L.\n  Crassus the orator, \u201ctook\u201d says Pagenstecher, \u201ctoo much pride in his,\u201d\n  and Crassus fired away the following epigram upon it. \u201cQuid mirum si\n  barbam habet aeneam Domitius cum et os ferreum et cor habet plumbeum.\u201d\n  (Where\u2019s the wonder Domitius has a brazen Beard, when he has bones of\n  iron and a heart of lead.) Shakspeare (the _unlearned_!) who never\n  loses a characteristic, makes his Enobarbus, (who was great\n  grandfather of Nero, wore a Beard, as seen on his medals, and was a\n  fine bold warrior,) speak thus of Antony, under the fascination of\n  Cleopatra:\u2014\n\n          LEP. \u201cGood Enobarbus, \u2019Tis a worthy deed,\n               And shall become you well, to entreat your Captain\n               To soft and gentle speech.\u201d\n\n          ENOB. \u201cI shall entreat him\n                To answer like himself: if C\u00e6sar move him,\n                Let Antony look over C\u00e6sar\u2019s head,\n                And speak as loud as Mars. _By Jupiter,\n                Were I the wearer of Antonius\u2019 Beard,\n                I would not shave\u2019t to-day._\u201d\n\n  This passage evidently associates the Beard with manly determination,\n  and shaving with the want of it, for subsequently Enobarbus speaks of\n  Antony\u2019s effeminacy in these words:\u2014\n\n                  \u201cOur courteous Antony,\n            Whom ne\u2019er the word of No woman heard speak,\n            _Being barber\u2019d ten times o\u2019er_, goes to the feast,\n            And for his ordinary pays his heart\n            For what his eyes eat only.\u201d\n\nFootnote 15:\n\n  Arcite in Chaucer\u2019s Knight\u2019s Tale thus devotes his Beard to Mars:\u2014\n\n                \u201cAnd eke to this avow I wol me bind,\n                 My Berd, my here that hangeth low adoun,\n                 That never yet felt non offensioun\n                 Of rasour, ne of shere, I wol thee yeve.\u201d\n\nShaving in token of grief was the custom of the early Romans; when,\nhowever, that which had been considered a deprivation became a general\nfashion, the Beard was allowed to grow in time of sorrow, to denote\npersonal neglect.\n\nThe Roman Philosophers, like the Greek, cherished a long Beard as the\nemblem of wisdom. The following anecdote shews that it was sometimes a\nfallacious sign. One of the Emperors being pestered by a man in a long\nrobe and Beard, asked him what he was. \u201cDo you not see that I am a\nphilosopher?\u201d was the reply. \u201cThe cloak I see, and the Beard I see,\u201d\nsaid the Emperor, \u201cbut the philosopher, where is he?\u201d\n\nI must not conclude this notice of Roman customs without mentioning the\ninstructive fact, that the slaves of the early Romans were shaved as a\nmark of servitude, and not allowed to wear the distinctive sign of a\nfree man until emancipated. At a later period the slaves, as the most\nmanly, wore the Beard, and only shaved when entitled to be put on a\nlevel with their debased and vicious masters!\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                        ECCLESIASTICAL HISTORY.\n\n\nA BRIEF glance at Ecclesiastical History will furnish one or two\ninteresting matters. Most of the Fathers of the Church both wore and\napproved of the Beard. Clement, of Alexandria, says, \u201cnature adorned man\nlike the lion, with a Beard, as the index of strength and empire.\u201d\nLactantius, Theodoret, St. Augustine, and St. Cyprian, are all eloquent\nin praise of this natural feature: about which many discussions were\nraised in the early ages of the Church, when matters of discipline\nnecessarily engaged much of the attention of its leaders. To settle\nthese disputes, at the 4th Council of Carthage, held A.D. 252, canon 44,\nit was enacted \u201cthat a clergyman shall _not cherish his hair nor shave\nhis Beard_.\u201d (Clericus nec comam nutriat nec barbam radat.) And Bingham\nquotes an early letter, in which it is said of one who from a layman had\nbecome a clergyman, \u201chis habit, gait, modesty, countenance, and\ndiscourse, were all _religious_, and _agreeably to these his hair was\nshort and his Beard long_;\u201d shewing that in those early times St. Paul\nwas better understood than at a later date.\n\nSubsequently the Beard was alternately commended to the clergy for its\nbecoming gravity, or condemned from the ascetic notion that pride was\napt to lurk in a fine Beard. In some of the monasteries lay members wore\nthe Beard, while those in orders were shaved, and the hairs, remnant of\nan earlier superstition, devoutly consecrated to God with special\nprayers and imposing ceremonies.\n\nOne order of the Cistercians were specially allowed to wear their\nBeards, and were hence called \u201cfratres barbati\u201d or Bearded brethren.\n\nThe military orders of the Church, as the Knights of St. John and the\nTemplars, were always full Bearded.\n\nTo touch the Beard, was at one time a solemnity by which a godfather\nacknowledged the child of his adoption.\n\nOne of the fertile sources of dispute between the Roman and Greek\nChurches has been this subject of wearing or not wearing the Beard. The\nGreek Church, with a firm faithfulness which does credit to its\northodoxy, has stood manfully by the early Church decisions and refused\nto admit any shaven saint into its calendar, heartily despising the\nRomish Church for its weakness in this respect. On the other hand, the\nPopes, to mark the distinction between Eastern and Western christianity,\nearly introduced statutes \u201cde radendis barbis,\u201d or concerning shaving\nthe Beard. Here and there, however, a manly old fellow, like Pope Julius\nII, who made Michael Angelo sculpture him with a drawn sword in his\nhand, or a Cardinal, like Pole or Allen, and many Bishops, managed to\nbelieve that faith and nature might be reconciled by taking a\ncomprehensive and truly Catholic view of both.\n\nThe leading English and German Reformers wore their Beards; (if Luther\nconfined himself to a moustache, it was because his Monkish habit of\nshaving was too strong for him,) and most of the Martyrs to the\nProtestant Faith were burnt in their Beards.\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                            MODERN HISTORY.\n\n                                -------\n\n\n                                BRITONS.\n\n\nTHE Britons \u201clike their neighbours the Gauls\u201d[16] (two of whose heads\nwere shewn copied from Roman monuments,) were Bearded, though, probably,\nfor some purpose of distinction, their Chiefs, as stated by C\u00e6sar and\nothers, had merely an enormous twisted moustache. The Druids and their\nsuccessors, the native British Clergy, regarded this natural covering as\nadding to their dignity and gracing their office and their age.[17]\n\nFootnote 16:\n\n  The Goths and Dacians, as seen on the Roman monuments, were Bearded;\n  and the ancient Hungarians, Raumer states, wore long Beards adorned\n  with gold and jewels. The Catti also were accustomed not to trim the\n  hair of the head or Beard till they had proved their manliness by\n  slaying an enemy in battle.\n\nFootnote 17:\n\n  One of the Legends of King Arthur mentions a giant who made \u201ca great\n  exhibition of domestic manufacture,\u201d consisting of a \u201ccloak fringed\n  with the Beards of kings.\u201d\n\n\n                                SAXONS.\n\nThe Anglo-Saxons brought their Beards with them which they preferred of\nthe forked shape, and this again might be either two-pronged, or\nthree-pronged, or plutonian and neptunian.\n\nSt. Augustine is figured with his Beard on his appearance to convert\nthese Islands in the sixth century. His followers must soon have shaved,\nbecause a writer of the seventh century, complains that \u201cthe Clergy had\ngrown so corrupt as to be distinguished from the Laity less by their\nactions than by their want of Beards.\u201d The illustrious Alfred was so\ncareful of the Beards of his subjects, that he inflicted the then heavy\nfine of twenty shillings on any one maliciously injuring the Beard of\nanother. The Danes who invaded this country were Bearded. Fosbrooke\nsays, some of them wore Beards with six forks, and history mentions\nSueno the fork-beard.[18]\n\nFootnote 18:\n\n  Many princes have borne the title of Bearded\u2014as the Greek Emperor\n  Constantine Pogonatus, Count Godfrey, the Emperor Barbarossa, and\n  Eberhard Duke of Wirtemberg in the reign of Maximilian, whose wisdom\n  might truly be said to have grown with his Beard, and on whom the\n  following verse was made:\u2014\n\n           \u201cHic situs est cui _barba_ dedit cognomina Princeps,\n           Princeps Teutonici gloria magna soli.\u201d\n           (Here is a Prince whose Beard gave his surname,\n           A Prince the glory of the land Almayne.)\n\nDuring this period, the French monarchy was growing. Its first kings\nheld the Beard as sacred, and ornamented it with gold. Their subjects\nwere proud of it as marking them out to be free men in contradistinction\nto the degenerate Roman population. Alaric touched the Beard of Clovis\nas a solemn mode of confirming a treaty, and acknowledging Clovis as his\ngodfather. The Merovingian Dynasty were Bearded. Then came Charlemagne\nwho swore by his Beard, as did Otho the Great and Barbarossa, Emperors\nof Germany, after him. The following story shows the faith of those\nearly times in the sacredness of this form of adjuration. A peasant, who\nhad sworn a false oath on the relics of two holy Martyrs, having taken\nhold of his Beard, as further confirmation, heaven to punish him, caused\nthe whole to come off in his hand!\n\nCharlemagne also enacted that any one who should call another red beard\nor red-fox, should pay a heavy fine; a law explained by a prejudice\nembodied in two German proverbs.[19]\n\nFootnote 19:\n\n                          Rothbart nie gut wart\n                          Rothbart Schelmen art.\n\n                     Of red beard no good heard\n                     Red beard\u2014a knave to be feared;\n\nand carried to its climax in the anecdote of a Spanish nobleman, who,\nhaving accused a man of some crime, and the latter being proved\ninnocent, exclaimed, \u201cif he did not do it he was plotting it, for the\nrascal has a red beard!\u201d Those who need consolation under this calumny,\ntraceable probably to an old notion, derived from his name, that Judas\nIscariot had a red beard, I am fortunately able to refer to a sermon[20]\non that Arch-Traitor, full of wit, humor, pathos, and imagination, by\nthe celebrated Abraham St. Clara, where red beards are nobly vindicated,\nand the following noted instances cited:\u2014\n\nFootnote 20:\n\n  Judas der Ertz. Schelm.\n\n              Several illustrious Romans,\n              The Emperor Barbarossa;\n              Hanquinus Rufus, King of the Goths;\n              Bishops Gaudentius and Gandulfius;\n            The Martyrs Dominicus, Maurinus, and Savinianus.\n\nDuring the distractions to which Charlemagne\u2019s empire was subject after\nhis decease, the Northmen appeared, and a band, under Rollo, having been\nconverted and settled in what is now Normandy, became known in English\nHistory as the Normans; with whom an increasing intimacy having sprung\nup in the reign of Edward the Confessor, (whose head was shewn from the\nBayeux tapestry,) a Norman party was gradually formed at court and\nNorman customs, one of which was shaving, partially adopted. Harold, as\nrepresentative of the real old English party, wore his Beard as shown by\na cotemporary MSS. illuminator; but William the Conqueror, and most of\nhis followers, are figured only with a moustache and their back hair\nclose cropped or shaven. It was this _barbarous_ fashion that induced\nHarold\u2019s spies to report to their master that the invaders were an army\nof Priests.\n\nWilliam is said to have attempted to compel the sturdy Saxons to shave,\nbut many of them left the kingdom rather than part with their Beards. In\nthis, as in other matters, Anglo-Saxon firmness ultimately conquered the\nconquerors, and the Norman sovereigns gave in to the national custom. As\nearly as Henry I, that is _only 44 years from William\u2019s landing_, we\nlearn that Bishop Serlo met that monarch on his arrival in Normandy, and\nmade a long harangue on the enormities of the times, especially long\nhair and bushy Beards, which he said they would not clip, lest the\nstumps should wound the ladies\u2019 faces. Henry, with repentant obedience,\nsubmitted his hairy honors to the Bishop, who with pious zeal, taking a\npair of shears from his trunk, trimmed king and nobles with his own\nhand. This conduct of the Bishop is curiously illustrated by a\ncotemporary decree of the Senate of Venice, of the year 1102, commanding\nall long Beards to be cut off in consequence of a Bull of Pope Paschal\nII, denouncing the vanity of long hair, founded on a misinterpretation\nof 1st Corinthians, xii, 14,[21] which applies only to the hair of the\nhead. On this text a sermon might be written though scarcely preached,\nwhich would \u201ca tale unfold, would harrow up the soul.\u201d[22]\n\nFootnote 21:\n\n  A writer in Dickens\u2019 Household Words says Pope Anacletus, (query 1st\n  or 2nd) was the first who introduced the custom of shaving.\n\nFootnote 22:\n\n  In this and in other places I am obliged to leave under a veil of\n  obscure allusion, arguments of thrilling force, not only from ancient\n  but from our own history: matters not to be met with in ordinary\n  histories; but too abundant in the pages of satirists and moralists,\n  who were hardy enough to lash the prevalent follies and vices of the\n  times in which they lived.\n\nThe stout king Stephen wore his Beard, and a Saxon chronicler complains\nthat in the civil wars of his time, in order to extort the wealth of\npeaceable people, they were \u201chung up by their Beards;\u201d a proof the\nlatter were long and strong. Stephen\u2019s cotemporary, Frederick the 1st of\nGermany, to prevent quarrelling, laid a very heavy fine on any one who\npulled another\u2019s Beard.\n\nHenry II, is said to have had a vision in which all classes of his\nsubjects reproached him in his sleep for his tyranny and oppression. A\ncotemporary MSS. illuminator, having fortunately designed several\ncartoons, really much more expressive than some in the New Houses of\nParliament, from which we learn that the faces of all classes of the\npeople and of the Clergy then appeared as nature made them, I selected\none, representing the leaders of the distressed agriculturalists of that\nremote period, because while it illustrated my subject, it seemed to\npossess great interest for that patient and much enduring class. One\ncould almost imagine the stout fellow with the one-sided Saxon spade, to\nbe urging on the heroes with the pitchfork and scythe, nearly in the\nwords of Marmion,\n\n            \u201cCharge, Sibthorp,[23] charge! On, Stanley, on!\u201d\n\nFootnote 23:\n\n  I trust my honest and uncompromising brother Beard will pardon the\n  liberty I have taken with his name. No one can be a more sincere\n  admirer than myself of the manly way in which he maintains his\n  opinions on all occasions, and the humorous kindness of disposition\n  which renders him beloved in private and in public. I should always\n  esteem him as a public man, were it only for his long and\n  single-handed fight against that economical iniquity\u2014that suicidal tax\n  on prudence and foresight, and bounty on improvidence\u2014the Fire\n  Insurance Duty!\n\nHenry\u2019s Queen Eleanor had been previously the wife of Louis VII, of\nFrance, who having been persuaded by his Priests to shave off his Beard,\nso disgusted Eleanor that she obtained a divorce.[24]\n\nFootnote 24:\n\n  \u201cShe had,\u201d says D\u2019Israeli, \u201cfor her marriage dower the rich province\n  of Poitou and Guyenne; and this was the origin of those wars which for\n  300 years ravaged France, and cost the French three million of men.\n  All which probably had never occurred had Louis VII not been so rash\n  as to crop his head and shave his Beard, by which he became so\n  disgustful in the eyes of our Queen Eleanor.\u201d\n\nRichard the Lion-hearted was Bearded like a lion, and though he was so\nabsorbed in the Crusades that he did not redress, yet he acknowledged\nthe justice of the complaints of the celebrated Longbeard, \u201cEarl of\nLondon and King of the Poor,\u201d who did honor to his Beard by resisting\noppression, and perished, after an heroic struggle, the victim of\ncowardice and treachery. The monuments of Roger, Bishop of Sarum, and\nAndrew, Abbot of Peterborough, shew that Bishops wore the Beard, and\nAbbots and Monks shaved in this reign.\n\nJohn had what was called \u201ca Judas\u2019 Beard,\u201d of which his actions were\nevery way worthy. Fortunately, the bold Barons outbearded him, and Magna\nCharta was the result. His son, Henry III, had a moderate Beard, and the\nlongest reign till George III. Edward I, shewed the Scots what a long\nBeard could do with long shanks, and a long head to back it.[25] This\nking has been called the English Justinian, both he and the Roman\nEmperor being noted for improving the laws, and cherishing their Beards.\nEdward the 2nd\u2019s Beard, like his character, was more ornamental than\nstrong, and his reign is chiefly memorable for the composition of that\nfavorite old song quoted by Shakspeare, \u201c\u2019Tis merry in hall, when Beards\nwag all!\u201d\n\nFootnote 25:\n\n  No true Scotchman would pardon me if I omitted to note that the brave\n  Wallace had \u201ca most brave Beard.\u201d\n\nEdward the 3rd\u2019s bold Beard spread terror in Scotland and France, and\nthat of his son, the Black Prince\u2014young as he died\u2014was an apt type of\nhis \u201cprowess in the tented field.\u201d\n\nRichard the 2nd, with all his faults, was neither deficient in Beard nor\nin courage\u2014the latter shewn in his meeting with Wat Tyler, and his\ndefence against his assassins. Henry IV, the crafty Bolingbroke, had a\nchin cover, in whose every curl lurked an intrigue, of which his son,\nHenry V, who was made of other metal, was so ashamed, we presume, that\nhe wore in penitence a shaven chin throughout his ten years\u2019 reign, as\nmay be seen by his monument in Westminster Abbey, the remains of which\nstill exist.\n\nShaving continued partially in fashion in Henry the 6th\u2019s reign, who\nhimself in later life was Bearded like a Philosopher, accustomed to\nmoralize over the ups and downs of life, of which he had no common\nshare. Edward the 4th shaved out of foppery; as did that smooth-faced\nrascal, Richard III, who \u201ccould smile and smile and be a villain.\u201d Henry\nthe 7th shaved himself and fleeced his people.\n\nAs may be seen in MSS. illuminations, and as we read in Chaucer and\nelsewhere, the majority of the people stuck to their Beards,\nuninfluenced by the fluctuations of court fashions. The poet, who was\nborn in Edward the 3rd\u2019s time, and died in Henry the 4th\u2019s, speaks of\n\u201cthe merchant\u2019s forked Beard;\u201d \u201cthe Franklin\u2019s white as a daisy;\u201d \u201cthe\nshipman\u2019s shaken by many a tempest;\u201d \u201cthe miller\u2019s red as a fox, and\nbroad as though it were a spade;\u201d the Reeve\u2019s close trimmed; the\nSompnour\u2019s piled; and ends by a contemptuous allusion to the Pardonere\nwith his small voice:\n\n              \u201cNo Beard had he, nor never none should have,\n              As smooth it was as it were newe shave, &c.\u201d\n\nHenry VIII, as you may still see on many sign boards, for which his\nbluff, bloated face is so well adapted, had his Beard close clipped.\nOnce he swore to Francis the 1st that he would never cut it till he had\nvisited the latter, who swore the same; and when long Beards had become\nthe fashion at the French Court, Sir Thomas Bulleyn was obliged to\nexcuse Henry\u2019s bad faith, by alleging that the Queen of England felt an\ninsuperable antipathy to a bushy chin, which, from the known considerate\nconduct of Henry to his wives, must have been a very plausible plea! Sir\nT. Moore shaved previous to his imprisonment. His Beard being then\nallowed to grow, he conceived such an affection for it, that before he\nlaid his head on the block he carefully put it on one side, remarking\n\u201cthat it at least was guiltless of treason, and ought not to be\npunished.\u201d\n\nAlthough Francis I, and his Court, cherished their Beards, the\nChancellor Duprat advised the imposition of a tax on the Beards of the\nclergy, and promised the king a handsome revenue. The bishops and\nwealthier clergy paid the tax and saved their Beards; but the poorer\nministers were not so fortunate. In the succeeding reign, the clergy\ndetermined on revenge; so when Duprat (son of the Chancellor) was\nreturning in triumph from the council of Trent, to take possession of\nthe bishopric of Claremont, the dean and canons closed the brass gates\nof the chancel, through which they were seen armed with shears and\nrazor, soap and basin, and pointing to the statutes, \u201cde radendis\nbarbis.\u201d Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they refused to induct him\nunless he sacrificed his Beard, which was the handsomest of his time. He\nis said to have retired to his castle, and died of vexation.\n\nIn the same reign, John de Morillers was also objected to by the Chapter\nof Orleans; but the cunning fellow produced a letter from the king\nstating, that the statutes must be dispensed with in his case, as his\nmajesty intended to employ him in countries where he could not appear\nwithout a Beard.\n\nAt the court of the rival of Francis, Charles the 5th, who had himself a\nright royal covering to his chin, lived John Mayo, his painter, a very\ntall man, but with a Beard so long, that he could stand upon it; and in\nwhich he took much pride, suspending it by ribbons to his button-hole.\nSometimes this mass of hair, by command of the Emperor, was unfastened\nat table, and doors and windows being thrown open, the imperial mind\ntook intense delight in seeing it blown into the faces of his grimacing\ncourtiers. Another noted German Beard was that of a merchant of Braunau\nin Bavaria, which was so long, that it would have draggled on the\nground, had it not been incased by its proud owner in a beautiful velvet\nbag.[26]\n\nFootnote 26:\n\n  Southey in \u201cThe Doctor\u201d mentions the Beard of Dominico d\u2019Ancona, as\n  the crown or King of Beards,\n\n                   A Beard the most singular\n                   Man ever described in verse or prose;\n\n  and of which Berni says, \u201cthat the Barber ought to have felt less\n  reluctance in cutting the said Dominico\u2019s throat, than in cutting off\n  so incomparable a Beard.\u201d But Southey is outdone by a story told by\n  Dr. Ehle in his work on the hair, where mention is made of two\n  seven-foot giants with Beards down to their toes, at the court of one\n  of the German sovereigns. They both fell in love with the same woman,\n  and their master decided that whichever should succeed in putting his\n  rival into a sack, should have the maiden. One of them sacked the\n  other after a long duel before the whole court, and married the girl.\n  That the pair lived happily afterwards, as the Novelists say, is\n  proved by their having as many signs of affection as there are in the\n  Zodiac; and it is worthy of remark, both physiologically and\n  astrologically, that the whole twelve were born under one sign,\n  Gemini.\n\nThe promising Edward the 6th died before his Beard developed; his sister\nMary\u2019s husband had one of the true Spanish cut.\n\nIn the time of \u201cgood Queen Bess,\u201d when\n\n              \u201cThe grave Lord Chancellor[27] led the dance,\n              And seal and mace tripped down before him,\u201d\n\nFootnote 27:\n\n  It surely will not be denied by any Judge of taste, that the\n  Chancellor and other legal dignitaries would look more dignified in\n  their own hair and with Beards of \u201creverend grey,\u201d than in the present\n  absurd, fantastic, unnatural and unbecoming frosted ivy bushes, with a\n  black crow\u2019s nest in the centre, in which Minerva might more readily\n  mistake them for stray specimens of her favorite bird, the owl, than\n  for learned, intelligent, and logical \u201csages of the law.\u201d\n\nshe, who was no prude, and had a right royal sympathy with every thing\nmanly and becoming, surrounded herself with men, who to the most\npunctilious courtesy, joined the most adventurous spirit; and the Beard,\nas might have been expected, grew and flourished mightily. Hence we are\nnot surprised at the wonderful efforts made by her subjects in arms, and\narts, and literature, so as to make her reign an era to which we look\nback with patriotic pride, and from which our best writers still draw as\nfrom a well of deep perennial flow.[28]\n\nFootnote 28:\n\n  Although an attempt was made in this reign to restrain the growth of\n  legal Beards by some pragmatical heads of Lincoln\u2019s Inn, who passed a\n  resolution \u201cthat no fellow of that house should wear a Beard of above\n  a fortnight\u2019s growth;\u201d and although transgression was punished with\n  fine, loss of commons, and final expulsion, such was the vigorous\n  resistance to this act of tyranny, that in the following year all\n  previous orders respecting Beards were repealed. _Percy Anecdotes._\n\n  About the same time also in Germany the moustache was partially\n  substituted for the Beard, as appears by Berckemej\u2019s Europ. Antiq. p.\n  294, who under the year 1564 says, the Archbishop Sigismund introduced\n  in Magdeburgh the custom of shaving off the full Beard and wearing\n  instead a moustache. The year in which this Beard-reformation\n  (de-formation?) happened, was contained in this pentameter\u2014\n\n             \u201cLonga sIgIsMVnDo barba IVbente perIt.\u201d\n             \u201cSigismund commanding, the long Beard perished in\n              MDLVV (= X) IIII. or 1564.\u201d\n\nA feeble reflection of some of the heads of this period were exhibited\non the walls of the lecture room, as the sagacious Burleigh; the\nadventurous Raleigh; the rash but brave Essex; Nottingham, the High\nAdmiral who scattered the Armada; Gresham the Merchant Prince, who found\nhis Beard no hindrance to business; and the Poet of Poets, whether\nancient or modern, Shakspeare.\n\nAs might be expected, the dramatic literature of the time is full of\nallusions to that feature which men still honored and admired. Lear can\nfind no more pathetic outburst of insulted majesty, in addressing his\nvile daughter Goneril, than the words\u2014\n\n               \u201cArt not ashamed to look upon this Beard?\u201d\n\nand when Regan insults the faithful Gloster, the latter exclaims\u2014\n\n                \u201cBy the kind Gods! \u2019Tis most ignobly done\n                To pluck me by the Beard!\u201d\n\nIn a more mocking humour, Shakspeare makes Cressida say of Troilus\u2019s\nchin, \u201calas poor chin! many a wart is richer!\u201d And Rosalind to Orlando,\n\u201cI will pardon you for not having a neglected Beard, for truly your\nhaving in Beard is a younger brother\u2019s revenue.\u201d\n\nThen as characteristics, we have the black, white, straw-colored,\norange-tawney, purple-in-grain, and perfect yellow. The soldier Bearded\nlike a pard; the justice with Beard of formal cut; the sexton\u2019s hungry\nBeard; and the Beard of the general\u2019s cut; and that fine passage, which\nyou will pardon my quoting, if only to supply an obvious correction\nnaturally lost sight of by _Beardless_ commentators. If instead of the\npuerile conceit, _stairs_ of sand, we read _layers_ of sand, we not only\nrestore metaphorical beauty but literal truth; for what is more\ndeceitful than a layer of sand, and the Beard is \u201ca layer of hair.\u201d\n\n            \u201cThere is no one so simple but assumes\n            Some mark of virtue on his outward parts;\n            How many cowards, whose hearts are all as false\n            As _layers_ of sand, wear yet upon their chins\n            The Beards of Hercules and frowning Mars,\n            Who, inward searched, have livers white as milk:\n            And these assume but valour\u2019s excrement\n            To make themselves redoubted.\u201d[29]\n\nFootnote 29:\n\n  Pagenstecher asks \u201cwhich was the city where Beard and foot made the\n  magistrate?\u201d and then proceeds gravely to relate that the inhabitants\n  of Hardenberg had formerly the singular custom of electing their\n  mayors or burgomasters by assembling at a round table, where while\n  some of the town council were employed in inspecting their Beards,\n  others were engaged in estimating their feet\u2014the biggest Beard and\n  largest foot being \u201ccalled to the scarlet.\u201d And rightly too! for the\n  Beard denoted authority and wisdom, and the large foot an\n  understanding likely to take grave steps when needed. As containing a\n  valuable hint to modern corporations to look well to the essential\n  points of a mayor\u2014too often overlooked\u2014I trust, this note upon note\n  will be pardoned.\n\nThe witty Robert Green, published in 1592, a curious dialogue,[30] from\nwhich we get a glimpse into a Barber\u2019s shop of Queen Elizabeth\u2019s time.\nCloth-breeches complains of the Barber\u2019s attention to Velvet-breeches in\nthese terms. \u201cHis head being once dressed, which requires in combing and\nbrushing some two hours; then being curiously washed with no worse than\na camphor ball, you descend as low as his Beard, and ask whether he\nplease to be shaven or no? whether he will have his peake cut short and\nsharp, amiable like an innamorato, or broad pendant like a spade, or le\nterrible, like a warrior or soldado? whether he will have his crates cut\nlow like a juniper bush, or his subercles taken away with a razor? If it\nbe his pleasure to have his appendices pruned, or his moustaches\nfostered to turn about his ears like the branches of a vine, or cut down\nto the lip with the Italian lash, to make him look like a half-faced\nbauby in brass. These quaint terms Master Barber, you greet Master\nVelvet-breeches withal, and at every word a snap with your scissors and\na cringe with your knee; whereas, when you come to poor Cloth-breeches,\nyou either cut his Beard at your own pleasure, or else in disdain ask\nhim if he will be trimmed with Christ\u2019s cut, round like the half of a\nHolland cheese, mocking both Christ and us.\u201d[31]\n\nFootnote 30:\n\n  \u201cQuip for an Upstart Courtier.\u201d\n\nFootnote 31:\n\n  A Ben Jonson, among other allusions to the Beard, has the following:\u2014\n\n            I am heartily grieved a Beard of your grave length\n            Should be so over-reach\u2019d. (\u201cThe Fox.\u201d)\n\n  In his Alchemist _Subtle_ telling _Drugger\u2019s_ fortune says\u2014\n\n                      \u2014\u2014\u201cThis summer\n                He will be of the clothing of his company,\n                And next spring called to the scarlet.\u201d\n\n                FACE. _What and so little Beard!_[32]\n\nFootnote 32:\n\n  Lilly in one of his Dramas makes a Barber say to his customer, \u201cHow,\n  sir, will you be trimmed? Will you have a Beard like a spade or a\n  bodkin? A penthouse on your upper lip or an ally on your chin? Your\n  moustaches sharp at the ends like shoemaker\u2019s awls, or hanging down to\n  your mouth like goat\u2019s flakes?\u201d\n\nIn the reign of James the 1st, Beards continued in fashion, and I\nextract two out of many passages from Beaumont and Fletcher\u2019s plays; the\nfirst being, not excepting even that of Butler\u2019s Hudibras, the most\nhumourous description of a Beard in the language. A banished prince in\ndisguise, having been elected \u201cKing of the Beggars\u201d on account of his\nBeard; Higgen the Orator of the Troop proceeds in this fashion:\u2014\n\n              \u201cI then presaged thou shortly wouldst be king,\n            And now thou art so. But what need presage\n            To us, that might have read it in thy Beard,\n            As well as he that chose thee! By the Beard\n            Thou wert found out and marked for sovereignty.\n            O happy Beard! but happier Prince, whose Beard\n            Was so remarked as marked out our Prince\n            Not bating us a hair. Long may it grow,\n            And thick and fair, that who lives under it\n            May live as safe as under Beggar\u2019s Bush,\n            Of which _it_ is the thing\u2014_that_ but the type.\n            This is the Beard\u2014the bush\u2014or bushy Beard,\n            Under whose gold and silver reign \u2019twas said,\n            So many ages since, we all should smile!\n            No impositions, taxes, grievances,\n            Knots in a state, and whips unto a subject,\n            Lie lurking in this Beard, but all combed out.\u201d\n\nIn his Queen of Corinth we learn that\u2014\n\n           \u201cThe Roman T, your T-Beard is the fashion,\n           And twifold doth express the enamoured courtier\n           As full as your _fork carving_ doth the traveller.\u201d\n\nThe last line alluding to Coryate the traveller\u2019s recent introduction of\nthe dinner-fork from Italy.\n\nOf this Roman T-Beard another writer humorously says\u2014\n\n                      \u201cThe Roman T,\n                      In its bravery,\n                    Doth first itself disclose:\n\n                      But so high it turns,\n                      That oft it burns\n                    With the flame of a torrid nose.\u201d\n\nand then adds\u2014\n\n                       \u201cThe soldier\u2019s Beard\n                       Doth match in this herd\n                     In figure like a spade;\n\n                       With which he will make\n                       His enemies quake\n                     To think their grave is made.\u201d\n\nIn 1610, died Henry IV, of France, whose Beard is said \u201cto have diffused\nover his countenance a majestic sweetness and amiable openness;\u201d his son\nLouis XIII,[33] ascending the throne while yet a minor, the courtiers\nand others, to keep him in countenance, began to shave, leaving merely\nthe tuft called a mouche or royal. Sully, however, the famous minister\nof Henry, stoutly refused to adopt the effeminate custom. Being sent for\nto court, and those about the king having mocked at his old-fashioned\nBeard, the duke indignantly turned to Louis and said, \u201cSire! when your\nfather of glorious memory did me the honor to hold a consultation on\ngrave and important business, the first thing he did was to order out of\nthe room all the buffoons and stage dancers of his court!\u201d About this\ntime also, Marshal Bassompierre having been released from a long\nimprisonment, declared the chief alteration he found was, \u201cthat the men\nhad lost their Beards and the horses their tails.\u201d\n\nFootnote 33:\n\n  \u201cIn this reign, whiskers however attained to a high degree of favour\n  at the expense of the expiring Beard, and continued so under Louis\n  XIV, who, with all the great men of his court, took a great pride in\n  wearing them. In those days of gallantry, it was no uncommon thing for\n  a lover to have his whiskers turned up, combed and pomatumed by his\n  mistress; and a man of fashion was always provided with every\n  necessary article for this purpose, especially whisker wax.\u201d _Percy\n  Anecdotes._\n\nUnder our first Charles,[34] the sides of the face were often shaven,\nand the Beard reduced to the moustache, and a long chin-tuft, as in the\nportrait of that monarch, retaining however still some of its former\ngracefulness. As the contest grew hotter between Cavalier and Roundhead,\ndoubtless some of the latter cropped chin as well as head; though others\nare said to have been so careful of their Beards, as to provide them\nwith pasteboard night-caps to prevent the hairs being rumpled.\n\nFootnote 34:\n\n  D\u2019Israeli quotes an author of this reign, who in his \u201cElements of\n  Education\u201d says, \u201cI have a favourable opinion of that young gentleman\n  who is _curious in fine moustachios_. The time he employs in\n  adjusting, dressing and curling them, is no lost time; _for the more\n  he contemplates his moustachios, the more his mind will cherish and be\n  animated by masculine and courageous notions_.\u201d\n\n  D\u2019Israeli also states, that the grandfather of Mrs. Thomas, the\n  \u201cCorinna of Dryden,\u201d was very nice in the mode of that age, his valet\n  being some hours every morning in _starching his Beard and curling his\n  whiskers_, during which time he was always read to.\n\nIn one instance it was worn long for a sign, as we see by the following\nverse\u2014\n\n                 \u201cThis worthy knight was one that swore\n                   He would not cut his Beard,\n                 \u2019Till this ungodly nation was\n                   From kings and bishops cleared:\n\n                  Which holy vow he firmly kept,\n                   And most devoutly wore\n                  A grizzly meteor on his face,\n                   \u2019Till they were both no more.\u201d[35]\n\nFootnote 35:\n\n  Taylor, the Water Poet, who lived from the end of Elizabeth to nearly\n  the end of the Commonwealth, thus humorously describes the various\n  fashions of this appendage.\n\n       \u201cNow a few lines to paper I will put,\n       Of men\u2019s Beards strange and variable cut,\n       In which there\u2019s some that take as vain a pride,\n       As almost in all other things beside:\n       Some are reaped most substantial like a brush,\n       Which makes a natural wit known by the bush;\n       And in my time of some men I have heard,\n       Whose wisdom hath been only wealth and Beard:\n       Many of these the proverb well doth fit,\n       Which says _bush_ natural more hair than wit:\n       Some seem as they were starched stiff and fine,\n       Like to the bristles of some angry swine;\n       And some, to set their loves\u2019 desire on edge,\n       Are cut and prun\u2019d like to a quickset hedge.\n       Some like a spade, some like a fork, some square,\n       Some round, some mow\u2019d like stubble, some stark bare,\n       Some sharp, stiletto-fashion,[36] dagger-like,\n       That may, with whispering, a man\u2019s eyes outpike.\n       Some with the hammer cut or Roman T,\n       Their Beards extravagant reform\u2019d must be;\n       Some with the quadrate, some triangle-fashion,\n       Some circular, some oval in translation;\n       Some perpendicular in longitude,\n       Some like a thicket for their crassitude.\n       The heighths, depths, breadths, triform, square, oval, round,\n       And rules geometrical in Beards are found.\u201d\n\nFootnote 36:\n\n                    \u201cThe stiletto Beard\n                     It makes me afeard\n                     It is so sharp beneath:\n\n                     For he that doth wear\n                     A dagger in his face,\n                     What must he wear in his sheath.\u201d\n                                         _Old Author._\n\n           \u201cWho make sharp Beards and little breeches Deities.\u201d\n                                       _Beaumont and Fletcher._\n\nUnder Charles the 2nd, the Beard dwindled into the mere moustache, and\nthen vanished. And when we consider the French apery of that un-English\ncourt, it is no wonder the Beard appeared too bold and manly an ensign\nto be tolerated. It went out first among the upper classes in London,\nand by slow degrees the sturdy country squires and yeomen also yielded\ntheir free honors to the slavish effeminate fashion, which, by the force\nof example, descended even to the working classes, on whom it imposed\nnew burdens and some bodily diseases from which their hardy frames had\nbeen hitherto exempt. It is to be hoped, that when any one for the\nfuture talks about the Beard being a _foreign_ fashion, he will be\nreminded that it is a good old English natural fashion, and that the\npresent custom of shaving was borrowed from France, at a time when we\nhad no credit to borrow anything else, seeing that king, courtiers, and\npatriots, were all the pensioned dependents of the French monarch! The\nsooner therefore we cease to shave, the sooner shall we wipe out the\nremembrance of a disgraceful period of our history!\n\nOne amusing proof that the Beard continued to be worn by the country\npeople after its decline about the court, is afforded by an anecdote of\nthe notorious Judge Jeffries, who, in his browbeating way, thus\naddressed a party before him. \u201cIf your conscience be as large as your\nBeard, fellow! it must be a swinging one.\u201d To which the witness replied,\n\u201cIf consciences be measured by Beards, I am afraid your lordship has\nnone at all.\u201d\n\nIn 1700, Charles V ascended the throne of Spain, with a smooth chin; and\nhis example was gradually followed, though the popular feeling has been\ncondensed into the proverb\u2014\u201cSince we have lost our Beards, we have lost\nour souls;\u201d and no one can question that loss of Beard and empire in\nthat country have singularly coincided.\n\nTwo brief anecdotes will shew the sense of honor which formerly resided\nin Spanish and Portuguese Beards.\n\nCid Rai Diaz dying, a spiteful Jew stole into the room to do what he\ndurst not when Diaz was alive\u2014pluck the noble Spaniard\u2019s Beard! As he\nstooped for the purpose, the body started up and drew the sword lying in\nstate by its side. The Jew fled horror-struck; the corpse smiled grimly,\nand resumed its repose; and the Jew turned Christian.\n\nWhen the brave John de Castro had taken the Indian fortress of Dieu,\nbeing in want of supplies, he pledged one of his moustaches for a\nthousand pistoles, saying \u201call the gold in the world cannot equal the\nvalue of this natural ornament of my valour.\u201d The inhabitants of Goa,\nespecially the ladies, were so struck with this magnaminous sacrifice,\nthat they raised the money and redeemed the pledge.\n\nThe last European nation to lay aside the Beard was the Russian, in\nwhose ancient code it was enacted that whoever plucks hair from\nanother\u2019s Beard shall be fined four times as much as for cutting off a\nfinger. Peter the Great, (who always remained a semi-savage), like many\nother half-informed reformers, sought to accomplish his objects by\narbitrary measures rather than by moral persuasion. Having, when in the\nwest, seen unbearded faces, he jumped to the conclusion that absence of\nBeard was a necessary part of civilization; forgetting that a shaven\nsavage is a savage still. He therefore ordered all his subjects to\nshave, imposing a tax of one hundred roubles on all nobles, gentlemen,\ntradesmen, and artizans, and a copeck on the lower classes. Great\ncommotions were the result; but Peter was obstinate and made a crusade\nwith scissors and razor, much resembling a Franco-African Razzia, which\nyou know means a clean shave of everything with very dirty hands! Some,\nto avoid disgrace, parted with their Beards voluntarily, but all\npreserved the hairs to be buried in their coffins; the more\nsuperstitious believing that unless they could present theirs to St.\nNicholas, he would refuse them admission to heaven as Beardless\nChristians.\n\nOne of the most difficult tasks was to deal with the army; in this,\nPeter proceeded with characteristic cunning. Through the agency of the\npriests, the soldiers were told that they were going to fight the Turks,\nwho wore Beards, and that their patron saint St. Nicholas would not be\nable to protect his beloved Russians, unless they consented to\ndistinguish themselves by removing their Beards! You see how stale are\nthe Czar\u2019s late tricks! Convinced by this pious fraud, the credulous\nsoldiers obeyed the imperial mandate. The next war, however, was against\nthe Swedes, and the soldiers, who had suffered severely from shaving,\nturned the tables upon the priests, and said, \u201cthe Swedes have no\nBeards, we must therefore let ours grow again, lest, as you say, the\nholy Nicholas should not know us!\u201d\n\nIt is a note-worthy historical fact, which shews the danger arising from\ndiscarding the natural for the artificial, that as _Beards died out,\nfalse hair came in_. A mountain of womanish curls rested on the head,\nand was made to fall in effeminate ringlets over neck and shoulders,\nwhile the whole face was kept as smooth, and smug, and characterless as\nrazor could make it. This renders it so disagreeable a task to look\nthrough a series of Kneller\u2019s portraits, who, clever as he was, could\nnot impart the freedom and vigour of nature to this absurd fashion. A\nportrait of Addison,[37] was shewn as an illustration, because, as has\nbeen seen, though he complied with the mode, he was occasionally favored\nwith visions of better times, past and to come.[38]\n\nFootnote 37:\n\n  I cannot refrain from alluding in a note to a curious fact. On the day\n  this Lecture was given, a little boy was brought to look at the\n  portraits just after they were hung. I said to him, \u201cEdward, which\n  face do you like best?\u201d He instantly touched the portrait of Addison,\n  and said, \u201cthat\u2019s the best woman,\u201d and \u201cthat\u2019s the best man!\u201d pointing\n  to the well-bearded face of Leonardo da Vinci.\n\nFootnote 38:\n\n  That Southey had the same compunctious visitings as Addison, appears\n  clearly enough, for while in his Doctor he compares \u201cshaving at home\u201d\n  with \u201cslavery abroad;\u201d states that \u201ca good razor is more difficult to\n  meet with, than a good wife;\u201d denounces the practice \u201cas preposterous\n  and irrational,\u201d as \u201ctroublesome, inconvenient,\u201d and attended with\n  \u201cdiscomfort, especially in frosty weather and March winds;\u201d places it\n  on an equality with the curse pronounced on Eve; and concludes with\n  the opinion that \u201cif the daily shavings of one year could be put into\n  one shave, the operation would be more than flesh and blood could\n  bear;\u201d he has nothing to say in favour of shaving, but that it\n  encourages Barbers, compels the shaver to some moments of calm thought\n  and reflection, and enables him to draw lessons from the looking glass\n  that nobody with razor in hand ever thought of. These words in another\n  place give a key to his real opinion. \u201cIf I wore a Beard,\u201d he writes,\n  \u201cI would cherish it as the Cid Campeador did his, for my pleasure. I\n  would regale it on a Summer\u2019s day with rose-water, and without making\n  it an idol, I should sometimes offer incense to it with a pastille, or\n  with lavender and sugar. My children, when they were young enough for\n  such blandishments, would have delighted to comb and stroke and curl\n  it, and my grandchildren in their time would have succeeded to the\n  same course of mutual endearment.\u201d\n\n  See also Leigh Hunt\u2019s humourous paper on Lie-abeds in the Indicator,\n  where he calls \u201cshaving a villainous and unnecessary custom.\u201d\n\nTo the reign of false curls, succeeded that still more egregious\noutrage\u2014that climax of coxcombry\u2014powder, pomatum, and pigtails! The\nformer to give the snows of age to the ruddy face of youth; the latter\nbeing, I suppose, an attempt of some bright genius to outdo nature,\n\n              By hanging a stiff black tail behind,\n              Instead of a flowing beard before,\n              As if, by this ensign, the world to remind,\n              How wise it had grown since old father Noah.\n\nThis was the period when every breeze was a Zephyr, every maid a Chl\u00f6e,\nevery woman a Venus, and every fat squinting child a Cupid! Later German\ncritics even christen the writers of this school, \u201cthe Pigtail\nPoets.\u201d[39]\n\nFootnote 39:\n\n  Seume, a German poet of a better school, in his travels says, \u201cTo-day\n  I threw my powder apparatus out of window, when will the day come that\n  I can send my shaving apparatus after it!\u201d\n\nThe first French Revolution made an end of all this trumpery, and though\nAlison and other professed historians have not classed the event among\nthe good things flowing from that fearful flood of blood and blasphemy,\nit was not one of the least, and society cannot rejoice too much at\nbeing delivered from the example of systematic frippery, frivolity, and\ntricked-out vice of the later French Sovereigns, imitated as they were\nby most of the petty puppet Princes of Germany\u2014\n\n                  Each lesser ape in his small way,\n                  Playing his antics like the greater.\n\nAbout the rise of the first Napoleon to power, a more simple, severe,\nand classic taste, was beginning to prevail, and this dictated a return\nto the Beard. Under the military despotism, however, of that Emperor,\nmoustaches were forbidden to civilians, and the Beard restrained to that\npetty, hairy imitation of a reversed triangle\u2014called after its reviver,\nwho never personally wore it\u2014the _imperial_, as if to denote to the\npeople that they were to have the smallest possible share in the\n_empire_.\n\nWith every attempt at freedom on the Continent, the Beard re-appears; it\nwas one of the most effective standards in the war of freedom, when\nGermany rose against Napoleon. In 1830, it was partially revived in\nFrance, and later still it has made many a perjured continental\nmonarch[40] \u201cquake and tremble in his capital,\u201d and reminded him that in\nspite of neglected promises and false oaths, the reign of injustice\n\u201changs but on a hair,\u201d of which the police will not always be able to\ncheck the free growth.\n\nFootnote 40:\n\n  One hardly knows which is the most detestable, the canting hypocrisy\n  of Prussian constitutional pretence,\u2014the more open poltroonery of\n  Neapolitan despotism\u2014or the paternal care to prevent even the buddings\n  of free thought as in Austria, where I can state from my own knowledge\n  that Schiller\u2019s works were seized as contraband on the Hungarian\n  frontier, and a party in the Austrian service who had attempted to\n  defend the conduct of the government at a Table d\u2019H\u00f4te was sent for by\n  the head of the police, and when to excuse himself he alleged he was\n  speaking for the government, was replied to\u2014\u201cYoung man, the government\n  want no defence\u2014no discussion\u2014and your wisest course is to be silent!\u201d\n\nI have now merely to notice very briefly, four modern objections to the\nBeard.\n\nI. \u201c_That it is less cleanly than shaving._\u201d To this, the answer is,\nthat depends upon the wearer; and it will take less time to keep clean,\nthan to shave, especially where, as in England, every one washes the\nface more than once a day. Besides, if this were an argument, we had\nbetter shave the head and eyebrows as well.\n\nII. \u201c_That it would take as much time to keep the Beard in order, as to\nshave._\u201d Supposing even it did, still there is a most important\ndifference both in the two operations and in their results. For the\nprocess of combing and brushing the Beard, instead of being tedious,\nuncertain, and often painful, like shaving,[41] confers a positively\ndelightful sensation, similar to that which one may imagine a cat to\nexperience,\n\nFootnote 41:\n\n  There is something in the operation of shaving which, besides its\n  painfulness, ought to make it repulsive to those who do not shave\n  themselves\u2014such as having the face bedaubed with lather and rubbed\n  with a brush, which has done the same office for hundreds of chins. It\n  is amusing to hear a knot of free and independent Englishmen roaring\n  \u201cBritons never will be slaves;\u201d most of whom will give their chins to\n  be mown and their noses to be pulled by any common Barber, and pay him\n  too for the pulling. Even when the party is a self-shaver, to say\n  nothing of the waste of time, what a number of petty annoyances and\n  exercises of temper does it involve! Notwithstanding the boasts of\n  cold water shavers, depend upon it in rigorous weather most people\n  prefer hot to cold water, which renders them slaves to their servants;\n  next, razors, as we know from puff advertisements and our own\n  experience, are the most uncertain of articles; then there is the\n  state of the nerves, that even the strongest cannot always control,\n  causing the unsteady hand to gash and hack the chin, or cover it with\n  blood from the beheading of those pimply eruptions of which the razor\n  has been ofttimes the originator.\n\n                   When smoothing gently down its fur,\n                   It answers with a purr, purr, purr;\n                   And in its drooping half-shut eye,\n                   A dreamy pleasure we espy.\n\nAnd while the result of shaving is a mere negation, depriving us of a\nnatural protection, and exposing us to disease, the other process,\nconsume what time we will, is natural and instinctive, and attended with\nthe satisfaction of adding the grace of neatness to nature\u2019s stamp of\nman\u2019s nobility.\n\nIII. \u201c_That the ladies dont like it!_\u201d This Professor Burdach and Dr.\nElliotson, pronounce a foul libel.[42] Ladies by their very nature like\nevery thing manly; and though from custom the Beard may at first sight\nhave a strange look, they will soon be reconciled to it, and think, with\nBeatrice, that a man without, \u201c_is only fit to be their waiting\ngentlewoman_.\u201d[43] I have already mentioned one instance of a queen\ndespising her husband, because he was priest-ridden enough to shave; and\nhere I present you with a second in this veritable portrait (shewing it)\nof a painter in the reign of George I, of the name of Liotard, who\nhaving returned from his travels in the East, with this fine flow of\ncurling comeliness, was irresistible. He followed his fate, and married,\nbut then, alas, unhappy wretch! took one day the whim to shave off his\nEastern glory. Directly his wife saw him, the charm of that ideal which\nevery true woman forms of her lover, was broken; for instead of a\ndignified manly countenance, her eyes fell upon a small pinched face,\nwith nose celestial and mouth most animally terrestial,\n\nFootnote 42:\n\n  Old Burton in his Anatomy of Melancholy adds his quaint testimony. \u201cNo\n  sooner doth a young man see his sweetheart coming, than he smugs up\n  himself, pulls up his cloak, ties his garter points, sets his band and\n  cuffs, sticks his hair, _twires his Beard_,\u201d &c.\n\n  D\u2019Israeli also says, \u201cwhen the fair sex were accustomed to behold\n  their lovers with Beards, the sight of a shaved chin excited feelings\n  of horror and aversion; as much indeed as in this less heroic age\n  would a gallant whose luxuriant Beard should \u2018Stream like a meteor to\n  the troubled air.\u2019\u201d\n\nFootnote 43:\n\n  The whole dialogue from whence this phrase is taken, is suggestive of\n  the contempt with which the ladies of Elizabeth and James the 1st\u2019s\n  time regarded a hairless chin. And there are numerous passages in our\n  old Dramatists which might be quoted to the same effect, but that some\n  of the allusions do not square with modern notions of delicacy.\n\n                     And such a little perking chin,\n                     To kiss it seemed almost a sin!\n\nIV. \u201c_That a Beard may be very comfortable in Winter but too hot in\nSummer!_\u201d The better races of the sons of torrid Africa wear Beards, as\ndid the ancient Numidians, and Tyro-African Carthaginians before them.\nThe Arab in the arid parching desert cherishes his! Are we afraid of\nbeing warmer than these in an English Summer? Besides, as we have\nalready shewn, the Beard is a non-conductor of heat as well as cold.[44]\n\nFootnote 44:\n\n  It is scarcely conceivable what strange remarks have been made to me\n  on the subject of the Beard. One party very gravely enquired whether I\n  really thought that Adam had a Beard? Another was remonstrating with\n  me on the first manifestations of my moustache; against whom I\n  wickedly urged the argumentum ad feminam\u2014you don\u2019t object to it in the\n  military? when the daughter naively chimed in, \u201cwhy you know, Sir, _it\n  is natural to them_!\u201d Two or three acute persons, one of them a\n  lawyer, have objected, \u201cbut you have your hair cut!\u201d To which I have\n  replied, \u201cyes! but I don\u2019t shave it off; and I trim my Beard instead\n  of removing it. You also pare your nails; but you don\u2019t think of\n  plucking them out, do you?\u201d\n\nHaving now, ladies and gentlemen, offered proofs that the Beard is a\nnatural feature of the male face, and designed by Providence for\ndistinction, protection, and ornament, and shewn you historically, that\nwhile there was never any sufficient reason alleged for leaving it off,\nunless a heaven condemned superstition, or the capricious dictates of\nfops and profligates, afford to any sound mind reasonable motives of\naction, need I ask you not to oppose the efforts of those who,\nreverencing the Creator\u2019s laws as above the dictates of man, conceive\nthemselves justified in returning to the more natural course. On our\npart we will, notwithstanding all that we have said, freely allow any\none to continue the practice of shaving, who will be content with the\nsame plea as a certain Duke de Brissac, who was often overheard uttering\nthe following soliloquy while adjusting his razor to the proper angle.\n\u201cTimoleon de Cosse, God hath made thee a Gentleman, and the King hath\nmade thee a Duke; it is right and fit, however, that thou shouldst have\nsomething to do, therefore thou shalt shave thyself!\u201d\n\n                             --------------\n\n               HADDOCK, (LATE PAWSEY,) PRINTER, IPSWICH.\n\n\n[Illustration]\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n \u25cf Transcriber\u2019s Notes:\n    \u25cb Some of the text on the title page was illegible, and was omitted.\n    \u25cb Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected.\n    \u25cb Typographical errors were silently corrected.\n    \u25cb Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only\n      when a predominant form was found in this book.\n    \u25cb Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).","title":"The Philosophy of Beards: A Lecture Physiological, Artistic & Historical","tradition":"philosophy-ethics","translated_text":null,"word_count":17895}