{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_60076/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_60076","id":"gutenberg_60076","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60076","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Biographies","Category: Gender & Sexuality Studies","Category: History - American","Category: Parenthood & Family Relations","Category: Religion/Spirituality","Latter Day Saint churches","Latter Day Saints","Lee, John D. (John Doyle), 1812-1877","Mountain Meadows Massacre, Utah, 1857","Stenhouse, T. B. H., Mrs., 1829-1904"],"text":"[Illustration: Faithfully, yours, Fanny Stenhouse]\n\n\n\n\n                        AN ENGLISHWOMAN IN UTAH:\n                              THE STORY OF\n                   _A Life\u2019s Experience in Mormonism_.\n\n                            An Autobiography:\n\n                                   BY\n                        MRS. T. B. H. STENHOUSE,\n                           OF SALT LAKE CITY,\n     FOR MORE THAN TWENTY-FIVE YEARS THE WIFE OF A MORMON MISSIONARY\n                               AND ELDER.\n\n        WITH INTRODUCTORY PREFACE BY MRS. HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.\n\n                       INCLUDING A FULL ACCOUNT OF\n                     THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE,\n                               AND OF THE\n         LIFE, CONFESSION, AND EXECUTION OF BISHOP JOHN D. LEE.\n\n                           FULLY ILLUSTRATED.\n\n                                 London:\n               SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON, SEARLE, & RIVINGTON,\n                   CROWN BUILDINGS, 188, FLEET STREET.\n                                  1880.\n\n                        [_All rights reserved._]\n\n\n\n\nTO MY CHILDREN; WITH ALL A MOTHER\u2019S LOVE AND TENDERNESS, THIS VOLUME, THE\nSTORY OF MY LIFE\u2019S EXPERIENCE, IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED.\n\n\n\n\nPREFACE BY MRS. HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.\n\n\nIn these pages, a woman, a wife and mother, speaks the sorrows and\noppressions of which she has been the witness and the victim.\n\nIt is because her sorrows and her oppressions are those of thousands,\nwho, suffering like her, cannot or dare not speak for themselves, that\nshe thus gives this history to the public.\n\nIt is no sensational story, but a plain, unvarnished tale of truth,\nstranger and sadder than fiction.\n\nOur day has seen a glorious breaking of fetters. The slave-pens of\nthe South have become a nightmare of the past; the auction-block and\nwhipping-post have given place to the church and school-house; and the\nsongs of emancipated millions are heard through our land.\n\nMay we not then hope that the hour is come to loose the bonds of a cruel\nslavery whose chains have cut into the very hearts of thousands of our\nsisters\u2014a slavery which debases and degrades womanhood, motherhood, and\nthe family?\n\nLet every happy wife and mother who reads these lines give her their\nsympathy, prayers, and aid to free her sisters from this degrading\nbondage. Let all the womanhood of the country stand united for them.\nThere is a power in combined enlightened sentiment and sympathy before\nwhich every form of injustice and cruelty _must_ finally go down.\n\nMay He who came to break every yoke hasten this deliverance!\n\n                                                   HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.\n\n\n\n\nPREFACE.\n\n\nIn the fall of the year 1869, a few earnest, thinking men, members of\nthe Mormon Church, and living in Salt Lake City, inaugurated what was\nregarded at the time as a grand schism. Those who had watched with\nanxiety the progress of Mormonism, hailed the \u201cNew Movement\u201d as the\nharbinger of the work of disintegration so long anticipated by the\nthoughtful-minded Saints, and believed that the opposition to Theocracy,\nthen begun, would continue until the extraordinary assumptions of the\nMormon priesthood were exploded, and Mormonism itself should lose its\npolitical _status_ and find its place only among the singular sects of\nthe day.\n\nIt was freely predicted that Woman, in her turn, would accept her part in\nthe work of reformation, take up the marriage question among the Saints,\nand make an end of Polygamy.\n\nLittle did I imagine, at that period, that any such mission as that which\nI have since realized as mine, was in the Providence of Time awaiting\nme, or that I should ever have the boldness, either with tongue or\npen, to plead the cause of the Women of Utah. But, impelled by those\nunseen influences which shape our destinies, I took my stand with the\n\u201cheretics;\u201d and, as it happened, my own was the first woman\u2019s name\nenrolled in their cause.\n\nThe circumstances which wrought a change in my own life produced a\ncorresponding revolution in the life of my husband.\n\nIn withdrawing from the Mormon Church, we laid ourselves, our\nassociations, and the labours of over twenty years, upon the altar,\nand took up the burden of life anew. We had sacrificed everything in\nobedience to the \u201ccounsel\u201d of Brigham Young; and my husband, to give a\nnew direction to his mind, and also to form some plan for our future\nlife, thought it advisable that he should visit New York. He did so;\nand shortly after employed himself in writing a history of the \u201cRocky\nMountain Saints,\u201d which has since been published.\n\nIn course of time, the burden of providing for a large family, and the\nanxiety and care of conducting successfully a business among a people\nwho make it a religious duty to sternly set their faces against those\nwho dissent from their faith, exhausted my physical and mental strength.\nConsidering, therefore, that change might be beneficial to me, and my\nown personal affairs urgently calling me to New York City, I followed my\nhusband thither.\n\nOn my way East I met a highly-valued friend of my family, who,\nin the course of our journey together over the Pacific Railroad,\nenthusiastically urged me to tell the story of my past life, and to give\nto the world what I knew about Polygamy. I had been repeatedly advised to\ndo so by friends at home, but up to that time no plan had been arranged\nfor carrying out the suggestion.\n\nI had hardly arrived in New York before the electric messenger announced\nthat a severe snow-storm was raging on the vast plains between the Rocky\nMountains and the Missouri River, and for several weeks all traffic over\nthe Union Pacific Railroad was interrupted, and I could not return to my\nhome in the distant West.\n\nThat unlooked-for snow-blockade became seriously annoying; for not only\nwas I most anxious to return to my children, but also, never having known\nan idle hour, I could not live without something to do. At that moment\nof unsettled feeling, a lady-friend, with whom I was visiting, suggested\nagain \u201c_the book_;\u201d and she would not permit me to leave her house until\nshe had exacted from me a promise that it should be written.\n\nNext morning I began my task in earnest. I faithfully kept my room and\nlaboured unremittingly; and in three weeks the manuscript of my little\nwork on \u201cPolygamy in Utah\u201d was completed. It was very kindly welcomed\nby the press\u2014both secular and religious\u2014and for this I was sincerely\ngrateful. I had not, up to that time, thought of much else than its\neffect upon the people of Utah; but the voluminous notices which that\nlittle book received showed the deep interest which the people of the\nUnited States had taken in \u201cthe Mormon question,\u201d and how ardently they\ndesired to see the extinction of the polygamic institution among the\nSaints.\n\nIn Salt Lake City I was so situated that I was daily\u2014I might almost say\nhourly\u2014brought in contact with visitors to the Modern Zion; for, during\nthe summer, thousands of travellers pass over the Pacific Railroad.\nNot a few of these called to see me; and I received from ladies and\ngentlemen\u2014whose kind interest in my welfare I felt very deeply\u2014many\npersonal attentions, many words of sympathy and encouragement, and many\nintelligent and useful suggestions in respect to my future life. Indeed,\nI saw myself quite unexpectedly, and, I may truthfully say, without my\nown desire, become an object of interest.\n\nBy the earnest suggestions of friends and strangers, and by the\nwidely published opinions of the press, I was made to feel that I had\nonly _begun_ my work\u2014that I had but partly drawn aside the veil that\ncovered the worst oppression and degradation of woman ever known in a\ncivilized country. Nearly all who spoke to me expressed their surprise\nthat intelligent men and women should be found in communion with the\nMormon Church, in which it was so clearly evident that the teachings of\nChristianity had been supplanted by an attempt to imitate the barbarism\nof Oriental nations in a long past age, and the sweet influences of the\nreligion of Jesus were superseded by the most objectionable practices of\nthe ancient Jews. How persons of education and refinement could ever have\nembraced a faith that prostrated them at the feet of the Mormon Prophet,\nand his successor Brigham Young, was to the inquiring mind a perfect\nmystery.\n\nThe numerous questions which I had to answer, and the explanations\nwhich I had to give, showed me that my little book had only whetted the\nappetite of the intelligent investigator, and that there was a general\ncall for _a woman\u2019s book_ on Mormonism\u2014a book that should reveal _the\ninner life_ of the Saints,\u2014exhibit the influences which had contributed\nto draw Christian people away from Christian Churches to the standard\nof the American Prophet, Joseph Smith, and subject them to the power of\nthat organization which has, since his death, subjugated the mass of the\nMormon people in Utah to the will and wickedness of the Priesthood under\nthe leadership of Brigham Young.\n\nA few months after the publication of my first book, I was invited to\nlecture upon \u201cPolygamy in Utah;\u201d and wherever I spoke I observed the same\nspirit of inquiry, and met with a renewed demand for more of circumstance\nand narrative\u2014which I had, from a sense of personal delicacy, withheld in\nmy former work.\n\nI saw no way of satisfying myself and others than by accepting the\nrather spiteful invitation of a certain Mormon paper to \u201cTELL IT ALL;\u201d\nand this, in a narrative of my own personal experience, which I now\npresent to the reader, I have endeavoured to do. Not being in any sense\na literary woman, or making any pretensions as a writer, I hope to\nescape severe criticism from the public and the press. I had a simple\nstory to tell\u2014the story of my life and of the wrongs of women in Utah.\nStartling and terrible facts have fallen under my observation. These also\nI have related; but my constant effort has been to tell my story in the\nplainest, simplest way, and, while avoiding exaggeration, never to shrink\nfrom a straightforward statement of facts. I have disguised nothing, and\npalliated nothing; and I feel assured that those who from their actual\nand intimate acquaintance with Mormonism in Utah as it really is, are\ncapable of passing a just and impartial judgment upon my story, will\ndeclare without hesitation that I have told \u201c_the truth, the whole truth\nand nothing but the truth_.\u201d\n\n                                                         FANNY STENHOUSE.\n\n    SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH.\n\n\n\n\nCONTENTS.\n\n\n       CHAP.                                                          PAGE\n\n          I. MY EARLY LIFE                                               1\n\n         II. MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO MORMONISM                          7\n\n        III. THE LABOUR OF MY LIFE BEGUN\u2014HOW THE MORMON MISSIONARIES\n               MADE CONVERTS                                            16\n\n         IV. LIFE AMONG THE SAINTS\u2014MY NEW ENGAGEMENTS                   25\n\n          V. THE FIRST WHISPERINGS OF POLYGAMY                          33\n\n         VI. MY HUSBAND\u2019S MISSION\u2014I AM LEFT ALONE                       41\n\n        VII. OUR MISSION IN SWITZERLAND\u2014MUTTERINGS OF THE COMING\n               STORM                                                    56\n\n       VIII. THE REVELATION ON \u201cCELESTIAL MARRIAGE\u201d                     67\n\n         IX. MISSIONARY WORK\u2014TEACHING POLYGAMY                          76\n\n          X. MORMONISM IN ENGLAND\u2014PREPARING TO EMIGRATE                 86\n\n         XI. EMIGRATING TO ZION\u2014WE ARRIVE IN NEW YORK                   97\n\n        XII. LIFE IN NEW YORK\u2014CONDUCTING A MORMON PAPER                103\n\n       XIII. SAINTLY PILGRIMS ON THE WAY\u2014THE \u201cDIVINE\u201d HAND-CART\n               SCHEME                                                  111\n\n        XIV. A TERRIBLE STORY\u2014THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS CROSSING THE\n               PLAINS                                                  123\n\n         XV. MARY BURTON\u2019S STORY CONTINUED\u2014TERRIBLE ENDING OF THE\n               HAND-CART SCHEME                                        132\n\n        XVI. WE FORSAKE ALL, AND SET OUT FOR ZION\u2014OUR JOURNEY\n               ACROSS THE PLAINS                                       145\n\n       XVII. MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF THE CITY OF THE SAINTS            152\n\n      XVIII. BRIGHAM YOUNG AT HOME\u2014WE VISIT THE PROPHET AND HIS\n               WIVES                                                   163\n\n        XIX. THE WIVES OF BRIGHAM YOUNG\u2014THEIR HISTORY AND THEIR\n               DAILY LIFE                                              168\n\n         XX. WAYS AND WORKS OF THE SAINTS\u2014THE PROPHET\u2019S MILLINERY\n               BILL                                                    179\n\n        XXI. MYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE\u2014FEARFUL OATHS AND\n               SECRET CEREMONIES                                       189\n\n       XXII. SECRETS OF SAINTLY SPOUSES\u2014A VISIT FROM MY TALKATIVE\n               FRIEND                                                  202\n\n      XXIII. SOCIAL LIFE IN SALT LAKE CITY\u2014BALL-ROOMS,\n               \u201cWALL-FLOWERS,\u201d AND DIVORCE                             209\n\n       XXIV. THE ORIGIN OF \u201cTHE REFORMATION\u201d\u2014EXTRAORDINARY DOINGS OF\n               THE SAINTS                                              224\n\n        XXV. THE \u201cREIGN OF TERROR\u201d IN UTAH\u2014THE REFORMATION OF THE\n               SAINTS                                                  235\n\n       XXVI. THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE\u2014\u201cI WILL REPAY, SAITH\n               THE LORD\u201d                                               247\n\n      XXVII. WHAT WOMEN SUFFER IN POLYGAMY\u2014THE STORY OF MARY BURTON    259\n\n     XXVIII. HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN UTAH\u2014A NEW WIFE FOUND FOR\n               MY HUSBAND                                              268\n\n       XXIX. TAKING A SECOND WIFE\u2014THE EXPERIENCE OF THE FIRST          278\n\n        XXX. TRIALS\u2014THE SECOND WIFE CHOSEN\u2014SHADOWS OF LIFE             285\n\n       XXXI. MARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD\u2014ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY\u2014THE NEW\n               WIFE                                                    293\n\n      XXXII. DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS OF THE SAINTS\u2014POLYGAMY FROM A\n               WOMAN\u2019S STANDPOINT                                      299\n\n     XXXIII. LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF POLYGAMY\u2014MARRIAGE AND BAPTISM\n               FOR THE DEAD                                            306\n\n      XXXIV. MY DAUGHTER BECOMES THE FOURTH WIFE OF BRIGHAM YOUNG\u2019S\n               SON\u2014THE SECOND ENDOWMENTS                               314\n\n       XXXV. REALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE\u2014ORSON PRATT: THE STORY OF\n               HIS YOUNG ENGLISH WIFE                                  323\n\n      XXXVI. \u201cOUR\u201d HUSBAND\u2019S FIANC\u00c9E\u2014A SECOND WIFE\u2019S SORROWS\u2014STEPS\n               TOWARDS APOSTASY                                        331\n\n     XXXVII. SOME CURIOUS COURTSHIPS\u2014BRIGHAM RUINS OUR\n               FORTUNES\u2014BELINDA DIVORCES \u201cOUR\u201d HUSBAND                 340\n\n    XXXVIII. MARY BURTON\u2014LIFE\u2019S JOURNEY ENDED: REST AT LAST            347\n\n      XXXIX. MY HUSBAND DISFELLOWSHIPPED\u2014WE APOSTATIZE\u2014BRUTAL\n               OUTRAGE UPON MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF                      357\n\n         XL. AMUSING TROUBLES OF MY TALKATIVE FRIEND\u2014CHARLOTTE WITH\n               THE GOLDEN HAIR                                         361\n\n        XLI. AFTER WE LEFT THE CHURCH\u2014INTERESTING FACTS AND\n               FIGURES\u2014MORMONISM AND MORMONS OF TO-DAY                 363\n\n             L\u2019ENVOI                                                   377\n\n             POSTSCRIPT                                                380\n\n       XLIV. MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE\u2014COMPLETE CONFESSION OF\n               BISHOP JOHN D. LEE                                      384\n\n             KILLING A RIVAL PROPHET                                   398\n\n\n\n\nLIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.\n\n\n     1. Steel-plate Portrait of the Author                   _Frontispiece_\n\n     2. Steel-plate Portrait of Brigham Young                     _To face_\n\n     3. \u201cGathering to Zion\u201d\u2014Life on the Plains                         125\n\n     4. Over at Last                                                   136\n\n     5. View of Main Street, Salt Lake City (_From a Photograph_)      148\n          The Ladies\u2019 Side of Mormonism.\n\n     6. Amelia Folsom Young, Brigham\u2019s Favourite Wife                  168\n\n     7. \u201cAnn Eliza,\u201d Brigham\u2019s Nineteenth Wife                         168\n\n     8. Miss Eliza R. Snow, Mormon Poetess and High Priestess          168\n\n     9. Mrs. John W. Young, Wife of Brigham\u2019s Apostate Son             168\n\n    10. Brother Brigham\u2019s Last Baby                                    168\n\n    11. Scene of the Mountain Meadows Massacre                         255\n\n    12. The Crisis of a Life\u2014Entering into Polygamy                    296\n\n    13. Polygamy in Low Life\u2014The Poor Man\u2019s Family                     302\n\n    14. Polygamy in High Life\u2014The Prophet\u2019s Mansion                    302\n\n    15. Despair!                                                       326\n\n    16. Fac-simile of a Mormon \u201cBill of Divorce\u201d                       344\n\n\n\n\nAN ENGLISHWOMAN IN UTAH.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER I.\n\nMY EARLY LIFE.\n\n\nThe story which I propose to tell in these pages is a plain,\nunexaggerated record of facts which have come immediately under my own\nnotice, or which I have myself personally experienced.\n\nMuch that to the reader may seem altogether incredible, would to a\nMormon mind appear simply a matter of ordinary every-day occurrence\nwith which every one in Utah is supposed to be perfectly familiar. The\nreader must please remember that I am not telling\u2014as so many writers have\ntold in newspaper correspondence and sensational stories\u2014the hasty and\nincorrect statements and opinions gleaned during a short visit to Salt\nLake City; but my own experience\u2014the story of a faith, strange, wild,\nand terrible it may be, but which was once so intimately enwoven with\nall my associations that it became a part of my very existence itself;\nand facts, the too true reality of which there are living witnesses by\nhundreds, and even thousands, who could attest if only they would.\n\nWith the reader\u2019s permission I shall briefly sketch my experience from\nthe very beginning.\n\nI was born in the year 1829, in St. Heliers, Jersey\u2014one of the islands of\nthe English Channel.\n\nFrom my earliest recollection I was favourably disposed to religious\ninfluences, and when only fourteen years of age I became a member of the\nBaptist Church, of which my father and mother were also members. With the\nsimplicity and enthusiasm of youth I was devoted to the religious faith\nof the denomination to which I had attached myself, and sought to live in\na manner which should be acceptable to God.\n\nMy childhood passed away without the occurrence of any events which\nwould be worthy of mention, although, of course, my mind was even then\nreceiving that religious bias which afterwards led me to adopt the faith\nof the Latter-day Saints. Like most girls in their teens I had a natural\nlove of dress\u2014a weakness, if such it be, of the sex generally. I was\nnot extravagant, for that I could not be; but thirty years ago members\nof dissenting churches were more staid in their dress and demeanour and\nwere less of the world, I think, than they are to-day. In plainness of\ndress the Methodists and Baptists much resembled the Quakers. My girlish\nweakness caused me to be the subject of many a reprimand from older\nchurch-members who were rather strict in their views. I well remember\none smooth-faced, pious, corpulent brother, who was old enough to be my\nfather, saying to me one day: \u201cMy dear young sister, were it not for your\nlove of dress, I have seriously thought that I would some day make you my\nwife.\u201d I wickedly resolved that if a few bright coloured ribbons would\ndisgust my pious admirer, it should not be my fault if he still continued\nto think of me. But many of our other church-members were more lenient.\nOur good minister in particular bore with my imperfections, as he said,\non account of my youth and inexperience; and later still, when I was\nready to leave my native island, an extra ribbon or a fashionable dress\nhad not affected my standing in the Baptist denomination.\n\nI mention these trifles, not because I attach any importance to them in\nthemselves, but because similar religious tendencies and a devotional\nfeeling were almost universally found to be the causes which induced\nmen and women to join the Mormon Church. From among Roman Catholics,\nwho place unquestioning confidence in their priesthood, and also from\namong persons predisposed to infidelity, came few, if any, converts\nto Mormonism. But it was from among the religiously inclined, the\nEvangelical Protestants of the Old World, that the greater number of\nproselytes came.\n\nBut to return to my story. I was one of the younger members of a large\nfamily; and when I thought of the future I readily saw that if I desired\na position in life I should have to make it for myself; and this I\nresolved to do. I began by consulting all my friends who I thought would\nbe able to counsel or assist me in carrying out my determination; and\nbefore long I found the opportunity which I sought. An English lady,\nthe wife of a captain in the British army, to whom I had confided my\naspirations, proposed\u2014although I was not yet fifteen years of age\u2014to\ntake me with her to France, in the temporary capacity of governess, to\nher children, assuring me at the same time that she would advance my\ninterests in every possible way after our arrival.\n\nThis lady and her husband were as kind to me as my own parents could\nhave been; and soon after our arrival in France they procured for\nme a situation in one of the best schools in St. Brieux, called the\nMaison-Martin, where, young as I was, I engaged myself to teach the young\nladies fancy-needlework and embroidery, as well as to give lessons in\nEnglish. Some of the elder girls, I soon found, were further advanced\nin fancy-needlework and some other matters than I was myself. This, of\ncourse, I did not tell them; but to supply my deficiency I spent many\na midnight hour in study and in preparing myself to give the advanced\ninstructions which would be required by my pupils on the following day.\nFor some time after I began my work as teacher in that school, I spent\nthe whole of my salary in paying for private lessons to keep me in\nadvance of my pupils. It was for awhile a severe task and a strain upon\nmy youthful energies; but I have never since regretted it, as it gave an\nimpulse to my mind that has remained with me through life.\n\nI had not been more than six months in my situation when the parents of\none of the pupils objected to the school retaining a Protestant teacher,\nand I was consequently given to understand that unless I consented to\nbe instructed, if nothing more, in the Roman Catholic faith, I could\nnot remain in my present position. This was my first experience of that\nreligious intolerance of which I afterwards saw so much. The principal\nof the establishment, however, being very kindly disposed towards me,\nadvised me to submit, and it was finally agreed that I should be allowed\ntwelve months for instruction and consideration.\n\nDuring this probationary year I attended mass every morning from seven to\neight o\u2019clock, and was present at vespers at least three times a week.\nEvery Saturday morning I accompanied my pupils to the confessional, where\nI had to remain from seven o\u2019clock till noon; after which we returned\nto breakfast. On Sundays there was the usual morning mass, and after\nthat high mass; and in the afternoon, from two to four, we listened to\na sermon. In addition to all these services, at which I was expected to\n\u201cassist,\u201d a very good-looking, interesting young priest was appointed\nto attend to the spiritual instruction of the young Protestant, as\nthey called me, after school hours. He saw me frequently, but he was\nill-qualified to instruct me in the Catholic faith or to remove my\ndoubts, for he was not himself too happy in the sacerdotal robe. At first\nhe aimed at convincing me that the apostolic priesthood vested in the\nfishermen of Galilee had descended in unbroken succession in the Church\nof Rome; but he seemed to me much more inclined for a flirtation than for\nargument; I thought I could at times discover something of regret on his\nown part at having taken holy orders; and in after years I heard that he\nhad abandoned his profession.\n\nTo the numerous stories of Catholic oppression and artifice in\nundermining Protestants and seducing them from their faith, I cannot add\nmy own testimony. Those among whom I lived very naturally desired that\nI should be instructed in their religion, and join the church to which\nthey belonged; but their bearing towards me was ever kind and respectful;\nalthough when the twelve months of probation had expired, I found myself\nas much attached to the religion of my childhood as ever, and had in\nconsequence to resign my situation. I had made many warm friends in the\nschool, and none were kinder to me than the principal, who proved her\nattachment by finding for me a lucrative situation in a wealthy private\nfamily.\n\nMy new position was a decided advance in social life. The family\nconsisted of husband and wife, two children, the husband\u2019s brother, and\nan elderly uncle. The little girls were, when I first knew them, of the\nages of five and seven years respectively. The young gentleman alluded\nto\u2014the husband\u2019s brother\u2014had been educated for the church, but when\nthe proper time came had refused to take orders; the uncle was a fine\nold gentleman, a retired general in the French army, and a bachelor.\nAltogether they formed as happy a domestic circle as I had ever known.\nThe position which I occupied among them was that of governess and\nEnglish teacher to the two little girls.\n\nMy young charges during the first year made rapid progress, which was\nvery gratifying to the family, and secured for me their good-will and\ninterest. Had I been their nearest relative I could not have received\nmore respect and consideration from them. One member of the circle alone\nseemed to be entirely indifferent to my presence; this was the brother of\nMonsieur D\u2014\u2014. Though I had lived in the same house with him a whole year,\nand had sat at the same table every day, scarcely a word had ever passed\nbetween us beyond a formal salutation.\n\nThe young gentleman was very handsome, and when conversing with\nothers his manner was extremely fascinating. I did not believe that I\nparticularly desired his attentions, but his indifference annoyed me\u2014for\nI had never before been treated with such coldness, and I determined to\nbecome as frigid and formal as he could possibly be himself. This formal\nacquaintanceship continued for two years, and I persuaded myself that I\nhad become altogether indifferent to the presence of my icicle, while\nat the same time all the other members of the family increased in their\nmanifestations of attachment to me.\n\nBut trifles often possess a great significance. It was the custom of the\nfamily to get up a little lottery once a week for the children, if my\nreport of their deportment and progress was favourable. In this lottery\nwere presents of books, toys, gloves, and a variety of fancy articles,\nand among them there was sure to be a _bouquet_ of choice flowers for\n\u201cMademoiselle-Miss,\u201d as they familiarly called me. I knew not positively\nwhom to thank, although I instinctively felt from whom they came, for the\nother members of the family always made me more useful presents. In time\none little attention led to another, until at the end of three years I\nfound myself the _fianc\u00e9e_ of the wealthy Constant D\u2014\u2014.\n\nMadame D\u2014\u2014 was opposed to my marriage with her brother-in-law, as she\ndesired that he should marry one of her own wealthy cousins of the\nold _noblesse_ of France. She treated me, notwithstanding, with great\nkindness, and confined her opposition to persuading me not to listen to\nher brother\u2019s suit; but finding opposition to his wishes ineffectual, she\nfinally consented to our engagement, which took place in the following\nwinter.\n\nFrom what I observed of the relations which existed between husbands\nand wives in France, I did not feel perfectly happy in the thought of\nbecoming the wife of a Frenchman, although I dearly loved the French\npeople. Several of my young lady acquaintances, I knew, had married\nbecause it was fashionable, and especially because it was an emancipation\nfrom what ladies in the higher ranks of society regarded as a severe\nsocial restraint. It was considered shocking for any young lady to be\nseen talking to a young gentleman in the street; indeed it was hardly\nproper for any unmarried girl to be seen in the street at all without a\n_bonne_ or some married lady to accompany her. But immediately she was\nmarried she was at liberty to flirt and promenade with all the gentlemen\nof her acquaintance, while her husband enjoyed the same liberty among the\nladies. This state of affairs did not at all coincide with my English\nideas, for to me the very thought of marriage was invested with the most\nsacred obligations, and I knew I should never be able to bring my mind to\naccept less from my husband than I should feel it my duty to render to\nhim.\n\nI loved the French people, and was pleased with their polite mannerism,\nbut I was not French in character; and though the prospect before me of\nan alliance with a wealthy and noble family was certainly pleasant, and\nI was greatly attached to my _fianc\u00e9_, my mind was considerably agitated\nupon the subject of marriage, as it had before been occupied with\nreligion.\n\nDuring my sojourn in France I had frequently questioned myself whether\nI had not done wrong in remaining absent for so many years from my home\nand from communion with the church of my childhood, and I had always\nlooked forward to the time when I should return to them again. To this\noccasional self-examination was now added another cause of anxiety,\nproduced by the thought of marriage with a person of a different faith.\nMarriage, to me, was the all-important event in a woman\u2019s life, and some\nmysterious presentiment seemed to forewarn me that marriage in _my_ life\nwas to be more than an ordinary episode\u2014though little did I then dream\nthat it would have a polygamic shaping.\n\nMy young ambition alone had led me to France. I had aspired to an\nhonourable social position, and had found both it and also devoted\nfriends. Sometimes I felt that I could not relinquish what I had gained;\nat other times I yearned for the associations of my childhood and the\nguiding hand of earlier friends. The conflict in my mind was often\npainful. My early prejudices and the teachings of those around me induced\nme to believe that the Roman Catholic religion was entirely wrong; yet,\nnotwithstanding, while living among Catholics I saw nothing to condemn\nin their personal lives, but much to the contrary. In fact, Romanism\nfascinated me, while it failed to convince my judgment.\n\nWhile labouring under these conflicting sentiments, I resolved to\nvisit my native land, to consult with my parents about my contemplated\nmarriage; and for that purpose I asked and obtained two months\u2019 vacation.\nSurely some mysterious destiny must have been drawing me to England at\nthat particular crisis, and before the fulfilling of my engagement, which\nwould have changed so entirely the whole current of my existence.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER II.\n\nMY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO MORMONISM.\n\n\nDuring my residence in France, my parents had left St. Heliers and\nreturned to Southampton, England. To visit them now I had to take a\nsailing vessel from Portrieux to the Isle of Jersey, and thence I could\ntake the steamer to Southampton.\n\nMonsieur and Madame D\u2014\u2014, together with the two little girls, accompanied\nme in their private carriage to Portrieux, a distance of forty miles, in\norder to confide me safely to the captain\u2019s care. As they wished me \u201c_bon\nvoyage_\u201d and embraced me affectionately, Mons. D\u2014\u2014 handed me a valuable\npurse for pocket-money during my absence, and they all exhibited great\nanxiety for my welfare, saying over and over again _au revoir_, as they\nentered their carriage to return to their happy home;\u2014thereby implying\nthat this was not a final _adieu_, but that we should soon meet again.\n\nI cannot tell why it was, but I experienced at that moment a painful\nfeeling of mental indecision about the future. I had no real reason to\ndoubt my return to France, and the certainty of a warm welcome when I\nshould again greet those dear ones who were now leaving me in tears; but\nmy mind was troubled by a vague feeling of uncertainty which made me\nanything but happy. Filial affection and a sense of duty drew me towards\nmy parents in England; while a feeling of gratitude, and, I think,\nanother and more tender sentiment, turned the current of my thoughts\ntowards the happy home at St. Brieux.\n\nIt was not necessary for me to stop in Jersey for more than a few hours,\nbut I wanted to revisit the scenes of my childhood\u2019s happy days, and to\nspeak again with those whom I had known and loved in early life. In later\nyears the scenes and memories of childhood seem like the imaginings of\na pleasant dream. A sweet charm is thrown around all that we then said\nand did; and the men and women who then were known to us are pictured\nin our recollection as beings possessing charms and graces such as never\nbelonged to the common-place children of earth. The glamour of a fairy\nwand is over all the past history of mankind; but upon nothing does it\ncast so potent a spell as upon the personal reminiscences of our own\ninfant years. To me that little island had charms which no stranger\ncould ever have discovered; and even now, after the lapse of so many\nlong, eventful years I often feel an earnest wish to visit again those\nrock-bound shores, to listen to the everlasting murmur of the wild, wild\nwaves, to watch the distant speck-like vessels far away upon the swelling\nocean, and to drink in the invigorating breezes which seem to give life\nand energy to every pulsation of the living soul.\n\nBut I must not theorize: life has been to me too earnest and too painful\nto admit of much sentiment or fancy as I recall the past. Little as I\nthought it, during the short visit which I paid to my birthplace the web\nof destiny was being woven for me in a way which I could not then have\nconjectured even in a dream.\n\nAt St. Heliers I heard for the first time of the Latter-day Saints, or\nMormonites, as they were more familiarly called; but I cannot express\nhow perfectly astonished I was when I learned that my father, mother,\nsisters, and one of my brothers had been converted to the new faith.\n\nIt was my own brother-in-law who told me this. He himself, with my\nsister, were \u201cApostate\u201d Mormons. They had been baptized into the Mormon\nChurch, but became dissatisfied, and abandoned it. The St. Heliers branch\nof the Latter-day Saints had had a turbulent experience. Their first\nteachings had been a mixture of Bible texts about the last days, and\narguments about the millennium, the return of the Jews to Palestine, the\nresurrection of the dead, and a new revelation and a new prophet; but\nthe improper conduct of some of the elders had disgusted the people with\ntheir doctrines, and the tales of wickedness which I heard were, if true,\ncertainly sufficient to justify them in rejecting such instructors.\n\nThe more I heard of this strange religion the more I was troubled; yet,\nas I knew my parents were devoted Christians, I could hardly believe\nthat Mormonism was such a vile delusion and imposture as it had been\nrepresented to me, or they would never have accepted it: still it was\npossible that they had been led astray by the fascinations of a new\nreligion.\n\nIn this state of mind I met in the street the wife of the Baptist\nminister whom I have already mentioned. She greeted me affectionately and\nthen began at once to warn me against the Latter-day Saints. I inquired\nwhat she knew of them; and she replied that personally she knew nothing,\nbut she believed them to be servants of the Evil One, adding, \u201cThere is\na strange power with them that fascinates the people and draws them into\ntheir meshes in spite of themselves. Let me entreat you not to go near\nthem. Do not trust yourself at one of their meetings, or the delusion\nwill take hold of _you_ too.\u201d\n\n\u201cI cannot ignore Mormonism in this way,\u201d I said, \u201cor pass it by with\nindifference; for my parents whom I tenderly love have been blinded\nby this delusion, and I can do no less than investigate its teachings\nthoroughly, and if I find it false, expose its errors, and, if possible,\nsave my father\u2019s family from ruin.\u201d\n\nShe was not convinced that this was the wisest course for me to pursue,\nbut I resolved at once to attend a meeting of the Saints and judge for\nmyself. My brother-in-law, when he heard of my intentions, tried to\ndissuade me, but, finding me determined, finally offered to escort me to\nthe meeting-place.\n\nWhat I heard on this occasion made a great impression on my mind, and set\nme thinking as I had never thought before. On returning to my sister\u2019s\nhouse she asked me what opinion I had now formed of the Latter-day\nSaints. I replied that I had not yet formed any conclusion, but that what\nI had heard had given me serious cause for reflection. \u201cOh,\u201d she said,\n\u201cyou have caught the Mormon fever, I see.\u201d\n\nI felt a disposition to resent this implication, but I was half afraid\nthat, after all, my sister was right. Much that I had heard could, I\nknew, be proved true from Scripture; and the rest seemed to me to be\ncapable of demonstration from the same authority. I resolved, however, to\nfortify myself against a too easy credulity, and thought that probably if\nI heard more of these doctrines I might be able to discover their falsity.\n\nOn the following day, the elder who had preached at the meeting, and who,\nby the way, is one of the present proprietors of the Salt Lake _Herald_,\ncalled to see me, as he had been intimate with my parents before they\nleft the island. I hardly knew how to be civil to him, though he had done\nnothing to offend me, nor had he been the cause of my parents entering\nthe Mormon Church; but I disliked him solely on account of the stories\nwhich I had heard about the Mormons. Intending only to be kind to me, he\ntold me that on the following day he proposed to take the steamer for\nSouthampton, as he was going to attend a conference of the Saints in\nLondon, and that he should be pleased to show me any attentions while\ncrossing the Channel, and would see me safe home in England. I confess\nI really felt insulted at a Mormon Elder offering to be my escort;\nand although my trunks were ready packed for my departure by the same\nsteamer, and Mr. Dunbar knew it, I thanked him politely, but said I would\nnot go by that boat. He tried to persuade me to change my mind, and said\nthat I should have to wait a whole week for another vessel; and at last\nI frankly told him the abhorrence I felt at the things I had heard about\nthe Mormons, and that I should be afraid to travel in the same steamer\nwith him or any of the Mormon Elders whom I regarded as no better than\nso many whited sepulchres. He, however, very kindly took no offence, for\nhe knew that I had been listening to those who disliked the Saints. I\nfelt ashamed at having been betrayed into such unladylike rudeness, but,\nnotwithstanding, tried to persuade myself that his civility was, after\nall, an insult; for I had conceived a detestation of every Mormon, on\naccount of the deception which I felt sure had been practised upon my\nfamily.\n\nThis feeling was not lessened by the consciousness that an impression had\nbeen made upon my own mind. The more in accordance with Scripture the\nteaching of the Elders appeared, the more firmly I believed it must be a\npowerful delusion. Here, I said, Satan has indeed taken the form of an\nangel of light to deceive, if possible, the very elect.\n\nElder Dunbar, finding me unyielding, left by the next steamer, and had a\npleasant passage across the Channel, and I remained on the island another\nweek. During that interval my mind was haunted with what I had heard of\nthis new gospel dispensation, as it was called. That angels had again\ndescended from heaven to teach man upon earth; that a prophet had been\nraised up to speak again the mind of the Lord to the children of men;\nthat the Saints were partakers of the gifts of the Spirit, as in the\nEarly Christian Church,\u2014all these assumed facts took the form of reality,\nand came back into my mind with greater force every time I strove to\ndrive them away; just as our thoughts do when we desire to sleep, and\ncannot\u2014our very efforts to dismiss them bring them back with greater\nforce to torment us.\n\nWe had an unusually bad passage across the Channel, which annoyed me all\nthe more when I remembered my scornful refusal to go in the same boat\nwith Elder Dunbar.\n\nOn my arrival in Southampton I soon discovered that my father, mother,\nand sisters were full of the spirit of Mormonism. They were rejoicing in\nit, ardently believing that it was the fulness of the everlasting gospel,\nas the Elders styled it; and whatever I might think of the new religion,\nI was forced to confess that it brought into my father\u2019s house peace,\nlove, kindness, and charity such as were seldom seen in many households\nof religious people. My sisters were completely changed in their manner\nof life. They cared I nothing for the amusements which girls of their age\nusually crave and enjoy. Their whole thoughts seemed to be occupied with\nthe Church, attending the meetings of the Saints, and employing every\nleisure hour in preparing comforts for the Elders who were travelling and\npreaching without purse and scrip. And in all this they were as happy as\nchildren.\n\nOf my parents I might say the same. My dear mother rejoiced in the belief\nthat she had been peculiarly blessed in being privileged to live at a\ntime when \u201cthe last dispensation\u201d was revealed; and my father, though\nan invalid, rejoiced that he had entered into the kingdom by baptism.\nSuch was the condition of my father\u2019s house; and who can wonder that,\naccustomed as I was to listen with respect to the opinions of my parents,\nI was more than ever troubled about the new religion which they had\nadopted?\n\nThe first Sunday morning that I was in England, my parents asked me to\naccompany them to meeting, and I readily complied, as I wanted to hear\nmore of the strange doctrines which in some mysterious way had made our\nfamily so happy, but which in other quarters had provoked such bitter\nhostility. I know _now_ that this joyousness of heart is not peculiar to\nnew converts to Mormonism, but may be found among the newly-converted\nof every sect which allows the emotional feelings to come into play.\nTo me, at the time, however, it was a mystery, but I must confess that\nthe change which had taken place in those nearest and dearest to me,\naffecting me personally, and being so evidently in accordance with the\nteachings of the Saviour, led me to regard Mormonism with less antipathy.\nThe bright side alone of the new faith was presented to the world abroad;\nwe had yet to go to Utah and witness the effects of Brigham Young\u2019s\nteachings at home before we could know what Mormonism really was.\n\nI shall never forget the trial it was to my pride to enter the dirty,\nmean-looking room where the Saints assembled at that time. No one would\nrent a respectable hall to them, and they were glad to obtain the use\nof any place which was large enough for their meetings. On the present\noccasion there was a very fair gathering of people, who had come together\ninfluenced by the most varied motives. The Presiding Elder\u2014I should here\nremark that the word \u201cElder\u201d has among the Mormons no reference whatever\nto age, but is simply a rank in the priesthood\u2014called the meeting to\norder, and read the following hymn:\n\n    The morning breaks, the shadows flee;\n      Lo! Zion\u2019s standard is unfurl\u2019d!\n    The dawning of a brighter day\n      Majestic rises on the world.\n\n    The clouds of error disappear\n      Before the rays of truth divine;\n    The glory bursting from afar,\n      Wide o\u2019er the nations soon will shine!\n\n    The Gentile fulness now comes in,\n      And Israel\u2019s blessings are at hand;\n    Lo! Judah\u2019s remnant, cleansed from sin,\n      Shall in the promised Canaan stand.\n\n    Angels from heaven and truth from earth\n      Have met, and both have record borne;\n    Thus Zion\u2019s light is bursting forth\n      To bring her ransom\u2019d children home.\n\nEvery word of this hymn had a meaning peculiar to itself, relating to the\ndistinctive doctrines of the Saints. The congregation sang with an energy\nand enthusiasm which made the room shake again. Self and the outer world\nwere alike forgotten, and an ecstasy of rapture seemed to possess the\nsouls of all present. Then all kneeled down, and prayer was offered for\nthe Prophet, the apostles, high-priests, \u201cseventies,\u201d elders, priests,\nteachers, and deacons; blessings were invoked upon the Saints, and power\nto convert the Gentiles; and as the earnest words of supplication left\nthe speaker\u2019s lips, the congregation shouted a loud \u201cAmen.\u201d\n\nThere was no prepared sermon. There never is at a Mormon meeting. The\npeople are taught that the Holy Ghost is \u201cmouth, matter, and wisdom.\u201d\nWhatever the preaching Elder may say is supposed to come directly by\ninspiration from heaven, and the Saints listening, as they believe, not\nto his utterances but to the words of God Himself, have nothing to do but\nto hear and obey.\n\nThe first speaker on this occasion was a young gentleman of respectable\nfamily, who had been recently baptized and ordained. He, too, was from\nSt. Heliers, and I had known him from childhood. His address impressed me\nvery much. He had been a member of the Baptist church, and he related his\nexperience, told how often he had wondered why there were not inspired\nmen to preach the glad tidings of salvation to the world to-day, as there\nwere eighteen centuries ago. He spoke of the joy which he had experienced\nin being baptized into the Mormon Church and realizing that he had\nreceived the \u201cgift of the Holy Ghost.\u201d The simplicity with which he\nspoke, his evident honesty, and the sacrifice he had made in leaving the\nrespectable Baptists and joining the despised Mormons, were, I thought,\nso many evidences of his sincerity.\n\nAlas! how little could that young preacher conjecture how different the\npractical Mormonism in Utah was from the theoretical Mormonism which\nhe had learned to believe in Europe, before polygamy was known among\nthe Saints. A short time afterwards he gave up his business, married\nan accomplished young lady, and went with her to Salt Lake City. There\nthey were soon utterly disgusted with what they witnessed, apostatized,\nand set out for England. When they had gone three-fourths of their way\nback to the Missouri river, the young man, his wife, child, and another\napostate and his wife, were killed by \u201cIndians:\u201d\u2014such, at least, was the\nreport; but dissenting Mormons have always charged their \u201ctaking off\u201d to\nthe order of the leaders of the Mormon Church.\n\nBut to return to the meeting. The reader must please forgive me if I\ndwell a little upon the events of that particular morning, for naturally\nthey made a deep impression upon my own mind\u2014it was there that I saw for\nthe first time my husband who was to be.\n\nI had heard a good deal about a certain Elder, from my family and from\nthe Saints who visited at our house. They spoke with great enthusiasm of\nthe earnestness with which he preached, of the effect which his addresses\nproduced, and of his confidence in the final triumph of \u201cthe kingdom.\u201d\n\nAt that time\u2014the summer of 1849\u2014although the branch of the Mormon Church\nin Britain was in a most flourishing condition, there were not in England\nmore than two or three American Elders preaching the faith, for when\u2014two\nyears before the period of which I speak\u2014the Saints left Nauvoo and\nundertook that most extraordinary exodus across the plains to the Rocky\nMountains, the missionary Elders were all called home, and the work of\nproselytizing in Europe was left entirely to the native Elders. To direct\ntheir labours there was placed over them an American elder named Orson\nSpencer, a graduate of Dartmouth University, a scholar and a gentleman\u2014a\nman well calculated from his previous Christian education to give an\nelevated tone to the teachings of the young English missionaries.\n\nMormonism in England then, had no resemblance to the Mormonism of Utah\nto-day. The Mormons were then simply an earnest religious people, in\nmany respects like the Methodists, especially in their missionary zeal\nand fervour of spirit. The Mormon Church abroad was purely a religious\ninstitution, and Mormonism was preached by the Elders as the gospel\nof Christianity restored. The Church had no political shaping nor the\nremotest antagonism to the civil power. The name of Joseph Smith was\nseldom spoken, and still more seldom was heard the name of Brigham Young,\nand then only so far as they had reference to the Church of the Saints.\n\nAbout eighteen months before I visited Southampton, one of these\nmissionaries had come into that town, \u201cwithout purse or scrip.\u201d He was\nquite a young man and almost penniless, but he was rich in faith and\noverflowing with zeal. He knew no one there; and homeless, and frequently\nhungry, he continued his labours. Of fasting he knew much, of feasting\nnothing. He first preached under the branches of a spreading beech-tree\nin a public park, and when more favoured he held forth in a school-room\nor public hall. He had come to convert the people to Mormonism, or he\nwas going to die among them; and before such zeal and determination,\ndiscouragements, of course, soon vanished away. He troubled the ministers\nof other dissenting churches when they found him distributing tracts and\ntalking to their people. He was sowing broadcast dissatisfaction and\ndiscontent wherever he could get any one to listen to him, and thus he\ndrew down upon himself the eloquence of the dissenting pulpits and the\nderision of the local press. But the more they attacked him the more\nzealously did he labour, and defied his opponents to public discussion.\nMormonism was bold then in Europe\u2014it had no American history to meet in\nthose days.\n\nThis, and a great deal more, I had heard discussed in glowing language\nby my relatives and friends; and thus the young missionary\u2014Elder\nStenhouse\u2014was, by name, no stranger to me.\n\nIt was Elder Stenhouse who now addressed the meeting, and I listened to\nhim with attention. The reader must remember that at that time polygamy\nwas unheard of as a doctrine of the Saints, and the blood-atonement, the\ndoctrine that Adam is God, together with the polytheism and priestly\ntheocracy of after-years, were things undreamed of. The saving love of\nChrist, the glory and fulness of the everlasting Gospel, the gifts and\ngraces of the Spirit, together with repentance, baptism, and faith, were\nthe points upon which the Mormon teachers touched; and who can wonder\nthat with such topics as these, and fortifying every statement with\npowerful and numerous texts of Scripture, they should captivate the minds\nof religiously inclined people? However this may be, I can only confess\nthat, as I listened to Elder Stenhouse\u2019s earnest discourse, I felt my\nantipathy to Mormonism rapidly melting away.\n\nAt the close of the service, when he left the platform, he was warmly\nreceived by the brethren and sisters, for so the Saints speak of one\nanother, and they came about him to shake hands, or it might be to seize\nthe opportunity of slipping a trifle into his hand to help him in his\nwork. Young and old, the poor and their more wealthy neighbours, mingled\ntogether like one happy family. It was altogether a most pleasing scene;\nand, whatever explanation may yet be given to Mormonism in America, one\nthing I know\u2014the facts of its early history in Europe are among the most\npleasant reminiscences of my life.\n\nElder Stenhouse came up in a familiar and open-hearted way to my mother\nand sisters, and I was introduced to him as \u201cthe other daughter from\nFrance.\u201d He kindly welcomed me, and when I frankly told him the state of\nmy mind, he made, I must admit, a successful attempt to solve my doubts,\nand when I left the meeting it was with sentiments towards the Saints\nand their religion far different from those which I entertained when I\nentered.\n\nThis meeting was a memorable era in my life.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER III.\n\nTHE LABOUR OF MY LIFE BEGUN:\u2014HOW THE MORMON MISSIONARIES MADE CONVERTS.\n\n\nIn the afternoon I attended a meeting of a still more interesting\ncharacter. These Sunday afternoon meetings were held for the purpose\nof receiving the sacrament, and the confirmation of those who had been\nbaptized during the week; they were intended exclusively for the Saints,\nbut for certain reasons I was permitted to be present.\n\nThe meeting was opened with singing and prayer, and then the presiding\nElder\u2014Brother Cowdy\u2014arose, and invited all those who had been baptized\nduring the week to come to the front seats. Several ladies and gentlemen\ncame forward, and also three little children. Upon inquiry I found that\nchildren of eight years of age were admitted members of the Church by\nbaptism\u2014which is administered by immersion. At that age they are supposed\nto understand what they are doing; but before that, if of Mormon parents,\nthey are considered members of the Church by virtue of the blessing which\nthey received in infancy. Brother Cowdy\u2014the presiding\u2019 Elder\u2014then called\nupon two other Elders to assist him in the confirmation.\n\nOne of the ladies took off her bonnet, but retained her seat, when all\nthree of the Elders placed their hands upon her head, and one of them\nsaid:\u2014\n\n\u201cMartha; by virtue of the authority vested in us, we confirm you a member\nof the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and as you have been\nobedient to the teachings of the Elders, and have gone down into the\nwaters of baptism for the remission of your sins, we confer upon you the\nGift of the Holy Ghost, that it may abide with you for ever, and be a\nlamp unto your feet, and a light upon your pathway, leading and guiding\nyou into all truth. This blessing we confirm upon your head, in the name\nof the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.\u201d\n\nThen, before they took their hands off her head, the presiding Elder\nasked the other two if they wished to say anything. Whereupon one of them\nbegan to invoke a blessing upon the newly-confirmed sister. He spoke for\nsome time with extreme earnestness, when suddenly he was seized with\na nervous trembling which was quite perceptible, and which evidently\nbetokened intense mental or physical excitement. He began to prophecy\ngreat things for this sister in the future, and in solemn and mysterious\nlanguage proclaimed the wonders which God would perform for her sake.\nWhen we consider the excited state of her mind, and\u2014if the statements of\npsychologists be true\u2014the magnetic currents which were being transmitted\nfrom the sensitive nature of the man into the excited brain of the new\nconvert, together with the pressure of half a dozen human hands upon her\nhead, it is not at all astonishing that when the hands were lifted off\nshe should firmly believe that she had been blessed indeed. She had been\ntold that she should receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost; and she did not\nfor an instant doubt that her expectations had been realized.\n\nEach of the newly-baptized went through the same ceremony, and then they\nall partook of the sacrament, when, after another hymn, the meeting was\nclosed with prayer.\n\nIn the evening I returned, to listen to a lecture upon \u201cthe character,\nspirit, and genius\u201d of the new church, delivered by Elder Stenhouse;\nand I was captivated by the picture which he drew of the marvellous\nlatter-day work which he affirmed had already begun. The visions of\nby-gone ages were again vouchsafed to men; angels had visibly descended\nto earth; God had raised up in a mighty way a Prophet, as of old, to\npreach the dispensation of the last days; gifts of prophecy, healing,\nand the working of miracles were now, as in the days of the Apostles,\nwitnesses to the power of God. The long-lost tribes of Israel were about\nto be gathered into the one great fold of Christ; and the fulness of\nthe Gentiles being come, they, too, were to be taken under the care of\nthe Good Shepherd. All were freely invited to come and cast away their\nsins, ere it was too late; and the fullest offers of pardon, grace,\nsanctification, and blessing, in this world and in the next, were\npresented to every repentant soul.\n\nSurely, I thought, these are the self-same doctrines which my mother\ntaught me, when I knelt beside her in childhood, and which I have so\noften heard\u2014only in colder and less persuasive language\u2014urged from\nthe pulpits of those whom I have ever regarded in the light of true\ndisciples of Jesus. Who can wonder that I listened with rapt attention,\nand that my heart was even then half won to the new faith? The days\npassed; and as I pondered over these things it appeared to me that I had\nat last found that which I had so long earnestly desired and prayed for\u2014a\nknowledge of that true religion for which the Saviour presented Himself\na Holy Sacrifice, and which the Apostles preached at peril of their\nlives\u2014the _only_ faith, in which I might find joy and peace in believing.\n\nBut why should I dwell upon those moments, soul-absorbing as was their\ninterest to me _then_\u2014sadly-pleasing as is their memory _now_! The reader\ncan see the drift of my thoughts at that time; and I feel sure, although\nI have but hastily sketched the causes which brought about these great\nchanges in my religious belief and in my life, that he will not hastily\naccuse me of fickleness and love of change, if he himself has fought the\nbattles of the soul, and has learned even in a slight measure to realize\nthe mystery of his inner being.\n\nEach day the finger of destiny drew me nearer to the final step. The\nyoung Elder, whose words I had listened to with such strange and, to\nme, momentous results, was intimate with my father\u2019s family, and called\nfrequently to see us, and before long he convinced me that it was my duty\nto test for myself whether the work was of God, or not. In the agitated\nstate of my mind at that time, I could not withstand the earnest appeals\nwhich were made to my affections and hopes; and within two weeks after\nmy arrival in England I became formally a member of the Church of Jesus\nChrist of Latter-day Saints; or in more popular language\u2014I became a\nMormon.\n\nThe day was fixed for my baptism. Several others were to be baptized\nat the same time; for scarcely a week passed without quite a number\nof persons joining the Church. For this purpose we all repaired to a\nbath-house on the banks of the Southampton river. This place was not\nperhaps the most convenient, and it certainly was devoid of the slightest\ntinge of romance; but it was the only one available to the saints at that\ntime.\n\nWhen we were all assembled and had united in singing and prayer, Elder\nStenhouse went down into the water first, and then two men went down\nand were baptized, and came up again. Now came my turn. I was greatly\nagitated, for I felt all the solemnity of the occasion. I had dressed\nmyself very neatly and purely, for I believed that angel eyes were upon\nme; I wished to give myself\u2014a perfect and acceptable offering\u2014to my God,\nand I was filled with the determination henceforth to devote my whole\nlife to His service.\n\nAs I went down into the waters of baptism, how thankful I felt that it\nhad been my privilege to hear the gospel in my youth, for now I could\ngive my heart in all its freshness to the Lord, before it had been\nchilled by the cold, hard experience of life.\n\nI descended the steps, and Elder Stenhouse came forward and led me out\ninto the water; then, taking both my hands in one of his, he raised his\nother hand towards heaven, and in a solemn and impressive voice he said,\u2014\n\n\u201c_Fanny; by virtue of the authority vested in me, I baptize you for the\nremission of your sins; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of\nthe Holy Ghost. Amen._\u201d\n\nThen he immersed me in the water; and as I reascended the steps, I really\nfelt like another being: all my past was buried in the deep\u2014the waters of\nbaptism had washed away my sins; and a new life lay open before me, in\nwhich my footsteps would be guided by the inspired servants of God. All\nnow would be peace and joy within me, for I had obeyed the commands of\nGod, and I doubted not that I should receive the promised blessing, and\nthat now I could indeed go on my way rejoicing.\n\nMy baptism took place one Saturday afternoon, and the afternoon following\nI was confirmed a member of the Church. Elder Stenhouse presided at the\nmeeting, and he, with Elder Cowdy, and two other elders, confirmed me. As\nthe \u201cblessing\u201d which I then myself received differs somewhat from the one\nwhich I have already given, and as it is a very fair specimen of those\neffusions, I present it to the reader in full.\n\nElder Stenhouse, Elder Cowdy, and the two other Elders, placed their\nhands solemnly upon my head, and Elder Stenhouse said,\u2014\n\n\u201cFanny; by virtue of the authority vested in me, I confirm you a member\nof the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and inasmuch as you\nhave been obedient to the command of God, through his servants, and have\nbeen baptized for the remission of your sins, I say unto you that those\nsins are remitted. And in the name of God I bless you, and say unto you,\nthat inasmuch as you are faithful and obedient to the teachings of the\npriesthood, and seek the advancement of the kingdom, there is no good\nthing that your heart can desire that the Lord will not give unto you.\nYou shall have visions and dreams, and angels shall visit you by day and\nby night. You shall stand in the temple in Zion, and administer to the\nSaints of the Most High God. You shall speak in tongues, and prophecy;\nand the Lord shall bless you abundantly, both temporally and spiritually.\nThese blessings I seal upon your head, inasmuch as you shall be faithful;\nand I pray heaven to bless you; and say unto you\u2014_Be thou blessed_, in\nthe name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.\u201d\n\nAfter the meeting, I received the congratulations of all the Saints\npresent, and more particularly those of my own family. My dear mother and\nfather were overjoyed; and I now learned how anxious they had been, and\nhow they had feared that I should return to France and reject the faith\nof the new dispensation. Altogether we were very happy.\n\nElder Stenhouse and Elder Cowdy returned home with us to tea, and\nafterwards we all attended the usual evening lecture. In this way was\npassed one of the happiest days of my life\u2014one which I shall ever\nremember;\u2014and yet that memory will always be mingled with regret that so\nmuch love and devotion as I then felt were not enlisted in a better cause.\n\nThus began a new era in my life. All my former friends and associations\nwere now to be remembered no more; my lot was cast among the Saints; and\nin the state of my mind at that time, I believed that I should be happy\nin my new position, and resolved to give evidence of the sincerity of my\nfaith.\n\nThe untiring energy and restless activity of Elder Stenhouse was ever\nbefore our eyes, and inspired all who associated with him with a similar\nenthusiasm. There were no drones in that hive. The brethren, at a word\nfrom him, would roam the country, teaching and preaching in the open air,\nwhile the sisters would go from house to house in the city, distributing\ntracts about the new faith. I caught the enthusiasm of the rest, and was\nsoon in the ranks with the other sisters, as devoted in my endeavours as\na young, ambitious heart could be. I was indeed like one born again from\nan old existence into a new life. I felt grateful and happy\u2014I began to\ndream of the eternal honour which crowns a faithful missionary life; and\nI soon found an ample field for testing my fitness for that vocation.\n\nAt the time of which I speak, the Primitive Methodists in England were\ndoing a great work in the way of converting sinners. Their missionaries\nwere zealous and devoted men, though generally poor and uneducated.\nThey resembled very closely the Mormon elders in their labours; and,\nin fact, a very large number of the leading Mormons had been Methodist\nlocal-preachers and exhorters; and the greater number of the new-born\nSaints had come from that denomination with their former teachers, or\nelse had followed them soon after.\n\nThe change from Methodist to Mormon was, in course of time, very strongly\nmarked; but for a considerable period the same, or what seemed the same,\ninfluences were at work among the people. Remarkable scenes of excitement\nwere often witnessed at the \u201clove feasts;\u201d and from the \u201canxious seats,\u201d\nas they were called, might be heard, the entreaties of self-accusing\nsouls, frightened by a multitude of sins, crying earnestly, nay, wildly,\nfor grace, mercy, and the Holy Ghost; while many of the supplicants\nwould fall upon the ground, completely overcome by nervous excitement.\nThen they would have visions, and beheld great and unutterable\nthings; received the forgiveness of their sins; and, coming back to\nconsciousness, believed themselves now to be the children of God, and new\ncreatures; doubting not that they would ever after be happy in the Lord.\n\nThe experience of the Saints at their meetings, when Mormonism was first\npreached, was exactly similar to this. Into the psychological, moral, or\nreligious causes of these scenes of excitement I cannot here enter;\u2014I\nsimply mention facts as they came under my own observation.\n\nThe Mormon Missionary often came upon whole communities in the rural\ndistricts of England, where this \u201cgood time\u201d was in full operation; and\nbeing a man of texts he would follow up the revival, preaching that the\nspirit of the prophet was subject to the prophet, and not the prophet\nsubject to the spirit. Controversy would arise, and his appeal to\nScripture, literally interpreted, was almost invariably triumphant. Even\nin America, especially in New York and Ohio, the same causes produced the\nsame effects. It was after his mind was excited by a general revival near\nhis native place, that Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, received\nhis first religious impression, and saw, as he asserted, his first\nangelic vision. His followers, even in the early days of the Church, had\nrevival-meetings and meetings at which the most extraordinary excitement\nwas manifested,\u2014when the Saints fell into ecstatic trances, saw heaven\nopened, and spake with tongues. But Joseph, shrewd man as he was, albeit\n\u201ca prophet,\u201d when he found too many rival seers were coming into the\nfield, announced by \u201cspecial revelation,\u201d that these too-gifted persons\nwere possessed by devils, and that their visions and prophesyings must be\nat once suppressed. And he did suppress them.\n\nNot long after my own baptism I was present at a meeting of this\ndescription, in Southampton. It was called a \u201ctestimony meeting,\u201d and was\nheld in a large upper room situated, if I rightly remember, in Chandos\nStreet. No one from the outside would have supposed that it was the place\nof assembly of the Saints, for it was generally used for ordinary secular\nmeetings, and I have heard that great objections were at first raised as\nto the propriety of letting it to the Mormons.\n\nAs we entered the door, we were saluted by Brother Williams, who\nexpressed great pleasure at seeing us. There was a full attendance of\nthe Saints, and every face wore an expression of peaceful earnestness. A\nperson who has never attended a Mormon meeting can form no idea of the\njoyous spirit which seemed to animate every one present. I am not, of\ncourse, speaking of modern meetings, but of meetings as they used to be.\nWhence and whatever that \u201cspirit\u201d might be which moved the sisters and\nbrethren when they met in early times, I cannot tell; but I, and with\nme, ten thousand Mormons and seceding Mormons in Utah, can, from our own\nexperience, testify that _that_ spirit no longer visits the Tabernacle\nservices over which Brigham Young presides, or the meetings of the Saints\nsince they adopted the accursed doctrine of polygamy, and forsook the\ngentle leadings of their first love.\n\nOften have I heard Mormons of good standing and high position in the\nChurch, lament the \u201cgood old times\u201d as they called them, when the\noutpouring of the Spirit was so abundant, and mourn over the cold, barren\nservices of the present day. But the elders explain this away. It is,\nthey say, the fault of the people themselves, and because their own\nhearts have become cold.\n\nAt the meeting of which I speak, that happy spirit was peculiarly marked.\nAn encouraging smile, or a kind word, greeted me on every side, and, as a\nnewly-converted sister, I received the most cordial welcome. The brethren\nwere seated on forms and chairs and any other convenient article which\ncame to hand, while at the further end of the room was Brother Bench, who\nwas to preside, and with him several other leading Elders. Brother Bench\ngave out a suitable hymn.\n\nThe whole congregation joined in the singing, and every heart seemed\nlifted up with devotion. Then another Elder rose, and offered a\nspirit-moving prayer; and then the brother who presided stated that for\nthe time he withdrew his control of the proceedings, and, as the phrase\nwas, he \u201cput the meeting in the hands of the Saints,\u201d exhorting them not\nto let the time pass by unimproved.\n\nThen arose Brother Edwards, a well-tried champion of the faith, and to\nhim every one listened with profound attention, eagerly drinking in his\nevery utterance. I could almost, even now, imagine that he was really\ninspired. _Then_ I firmly believed he was. His voice thrilled with an\nearnestness which seemed to us something more than the mere excitement of\nthe soul. A burning fire seemed to flash from his large, expressive eyes;\nhis features were lighted up with that animation which gives a saint-like\nhalo to the earnest face when fired with indignation or pleading\nsoul-felt truths; while his whole frame seemed to glow with the glory\nof a land beyond this earth, as in the most impressive and convincing\nlanguage he reminded us that our sins had been washed away by the waters\nof baptism, that upon us had been poured the gifts and graces of the\nSpirit, and that it was our sacred privilege to testify of these things.\n\nThe effect of this exhortation was magical. We forgot all our outward\nsurroundings, in the realization that the great work of the Lord was\nso gloriously begun, and that it would surely go on, conquering and to\nconquer. One sister\u2014an elderly woman\u2014who was present, unable to control\nher emotion, burst out with that Mormon hymn which I have heard some\nold Nauvoo Saints declare produced upon the people in those days an\nenthusiasm similar to that which moves the heart of every true Frenchman\nwhen he listens to the soul-stirring notes of the Marseillaise:\u2014\n\n    The Spirit of God like a fire is burning!\n      The latter day glory begins to come forth;\n    The visions and blessings of old are returning,\n      The angels are coming to visit the earth.\n    We\u2019ll sing and we\u2019ll shout with the armies of heaven,\n      Hosannah! Hosannah to God and the Lamb,\n    All glory to them in the highest be given\n      Henceforth and for ever: Amen, and Amen.\n\nI have often heard in magnificent cathedrals, hoary with the dust of\ntime, and in vast places of amusement dedicated specially to music and to\nsong, the outpouring of that glorious vocal flood, which a chorus of a\nthousand well-trained singers can alone send forth. I have felt sometimes\nthat entrancing state of ecstasy which thrilled the soul of the seer in\nPatmos, as he listened to the melody of the angelic throng\u2014\u201cthe voice of\nmany waters, and the peal of mighty thunders, and the notes of harpers\nharping upon their harps;\u201d but never, even when surrounded by all that\nwas best calculated to produce a sentiment of devotion in my mind\u2014never\ndid I experience so rapt a feeling of communion with \u201cthe armies of\nheaven\u201d\u2014as I felt in that unadorned meeting-room, surrounded by those\nplain but earnest and united people.\n\nNor was I alone in this. The feeling was contagious. There was not one\npresent who did not sympathize. And thus, I suppose, melody has always\nplayed a prominent part in all religious revivals, whether of divine or\nhuman origin. The Apostles had their psalms, and hymns, and spiritual\nsongs; the Martyrs their _Te Deum_; the Waldenses made the hills and\nvales of Piedmont vocal with their singing; the Lollards and Hussites had\ntheir melodies; and in more modern days the followers of Luther, Wesley,\nand (may I add?) Joseph Smith, have poured out the fulness of their souls\nafter the same fashion.\n\nThe last notes of the hymn had scarcely died away when another, and then\nanother brother, arose and bore testimony to the great work, told what\nthe Lord had done for them personally, told of their zeal for the faith,\nand fervently exhorted all present to persevere unto the end. Again\nprayer was offered, another hymn sung, and the Saints were dismissed with\na solemn benediction.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IV.\n\nLIFE AMONG THE SAINTS\u2014MY NEW ENGAGEMENTS.\n\n\nI was now a Mormon in every sense of the word, although entirely ignorant\nof Utah politics and polygamy.\n\nMy dreams were of a life of happiness spent in seeking to convert the\nwhole world to the religion of Jesus, which I believed had been restored\nagain to earth by the ministry of holy angels. It is easy to say that\nsuch an ambition was ill-directed when associated with Mormonism, but no\none can deny that, in itself, it was the noblest and purest that could\ninspire the heart of man. There was no sacrifice too great for me to\nmake; there was no object too dear for me to resign, if it stood in the\nway of my sacred calling. The whole current of my thoughts and plans was\nnow changed. It was henceforth my duty to be entirely forgetful of self,\nand to devote my energies\u2014my all\u2014to the advancement of the Kingdom of\nGod. My life was to be identified with the Saints,\u2014my faith required it,\nand I was willing that it should be so.\n\nBut what of my beloved France, all this time; and my betrothed husband?\n\nThis reflection aroused within me a most painful train of thought. How\nmany fond and endearing memories entwined themselves around my heart\nat that moment, when most I needed to banish them for ever! With what\nlingering love did I look back to those dear ones from whom I had parted\nbut a few short weeks before, and whom I might perhaps never see again!\nTo return would be to desert my newly-adopted friends and faith\u2014to\nviolate the covenant which I had made at baptism to \u201cbe ever afterwards\ngoverned by the servants of God.\u201d\n\nNo; it was too late\u2014I could not now return;\u2014I tried to persuade\nmyself that I did not even wish to;\u2014in a word, affection, and what I\nthought duty, were at war together in my heart. All my former ties and\nassociations must now be severed, however terrible the cost might be; and\nI was bound not only to submit, but even to glory in the sacrifice. Thus\nI argued away the regrets which would at times agitate my very soul, and\ncause me much painful thought.\n\nThe trial of my profession in the new faith came swiftly to my door. My\nmarriage-engagement must be broken off, though I knew not how that could\nhonourably and conscientiously be done. Of myself I had no wish to draw\nback from anything that I had promised of my own free will; and much less\ndid I desire to be faithless to my solemnly plighted word.\n\nI now first realized the all-absorbing influence of an earnest religious\nfaith. I was brought face to face with the fact that I could not marry\nout of the Mormon Church. The teaching of the Elders was against it, and\nI saw that in this they were consistent. Great as was the trial, and\npainful as was the sacrifice, I resolved to be true to my religion. How\nvery earnestly the Elders insisted upon such sacrifices, may be seen from\nan appeal made at a later date by the \u201cApostle\u201d Orson Pratt. Brother\nOrson was in Europe, and, speaking authoritatively, he set forth the\nduties of mothers and daughters in \u201cBabylon,\u201d as he graciously styled the\nrest of the world, in the following terms, which unmistakably show the\npurposes of the leaders relative to marriage:\u2014\n\n\u201cMany of you have daughters, some of whom are grown to womanhood; others\nare now young. Would, you have them gather with you to a land where\nvirtue and peace dwell, where God has promised to protect and bless the\nrighteous? If so, teach them, as they love their parents, and the Saints,\nand the truth, not to throw themselves away by marrying Gentiles; teach\nthem to _keep themselves entirely aloof from Gentile_ courtships and\nassociations. Scores of women who once were counselled as you are now,\nare mourning in wretchedness, in bondage to Gentile husbands, cut off\nfrom all privilege of gathering with their fathers, mothers, brethren,\nand sisters; and, in some instances, cut off from even attending the\nSaints\u2019 meetings. But this is not all. They are raising up children in\nthese lands to perish with themselves in the general desolations coming\nupon Babylon. But what is still more aggravating and heart-rending, they\nare raising up children not only destined for temporal judgments, but who\nmust for ever be cut off from the presence of God and the glory of the\ncelestial kingdom.... What fearful responsibility for any young sister to\nvoluntarily take upon herself, after all the warnings she has received.\nSee to it, then, parents, that you not only do not give your consent,\nbut actually forbid all such marriages....\n\n\u201c_Let them marry according to the holy order of God_, and begin to\nlay the foundation of a little family kingdom which shall no more be\nscattered upon the face of the earth, but dwell in one country, keeping\ntheir genealogies from generation to generation, until each man\u2019s house\nshall be multiplied as the stars of heaven.\u201d\n\nThese were the influences which were brought to bear upon my mind at\na time when it was peculiarly sensitive, and open to impressions from\nwithout.\n\nWhile in this uncertain state a little incident occurred which, though\nin itself of the most trifling nature, assisted in forming my ultimate\ndecision.\n\nIt was a beautiful evening in early summer, and my mother and sister\nasked me to accompany them to one of the testimony-meetings which I have\nalready described. This meeting was very similar to the others, with one\nnotable exception:\u2014it was here that I saw and heard, for the first time\nin my own experience, the \u201cgift of tongues\u201d exercised.\n\nLong before I had even heard of Mormonism, I had frequently thought how\nwonderfully useful this gift must have been to the Apostles. One of the\ngreat difficulties encountered by the missionary is learning the language\nof the people among whom he works and lives. To be able to dispense\nwith all this labour, and to be understood wherever he went, must have\nlightened the mind of the holy man of half its load; and naturally, when\nI heard that the Mormons had \u201cthe Gift of Tongues,\u201d I supposed it was\nthe self-same power of diverse speech as that exercised by the Apostles;\nand I presume the reader will conjecture with me that it was the same\n\u201cgift,\u201d or, at least, some imitation of it. How surprised I was when I\nfirst discovered the meaning of the term \u201cspeaking in tongues\u201d among the\nMormons, may perhaps be imagined when I explain what happened at that\ntestimony-meeting.\n\nAfter prayer, and singing, and listening to several very fervent\naddresses from some of the elders, Brother Seely had delivered a most\nimpassioned speech, and had hardly concluded, when Sister Ellis, who\nwas sitting near me, gave evidence of being in an abnormal condition of\nmind, which to me was painful in the extreme. Her hands were clenched,\nand her eyes had that wild and supernatural glare which is never seen,\nsave in cases of lunacy or intense feverish excitement. Every one waited\nbreathlessly, listening to catch what she might say;\u2014you might have heard\na pin drop.\n\nThen in oracular language and with all the impassioned dignity of one\ninspired of heaven, she began to speak.\n\nI say \u201cspeak,\u201d as that term is generally applied to the utterances of\nthe human voice; but she did not _speak_ in the sense in which we always\nemploy that word; she simply emitted a series of sounds. They seemed to\nme chiefly the repetition of the same syllables\u2014something like a child\nrepeating, _la, la, la, le, lo_; _ma, ma, ma, mi, ma_; _dele, dele,\ndele, dela_\u2014followed, perhaps, by a number of sounds strung together,\nwhich could not be rendered in _any_ shape by the pen. Sometimes in\nthe Far West, in later years, I have heard old Indian women, crooning\nweirdly monotonous and outlandish ditties in their native tongue. These\nwild dirges, more nearly than anything else I ever heard, resembled the\nprophetic utterances of Sister Ellis; save only, that the appearance of\nthe latter was far too solemn to admit of even a smile at what she said.\n\nRidiculous as this appears when I now write it down on paper, and strange\nas even then it was to me, there was something so commanding, so earnest,\nso \u201cinspirational,\u201d if I may be allowed the term, in Sister Ellis\u2019s\nmanner, that I could not wonder at the attention which the brethren and\nsisters paid to this gifted speaker in tongues.\n\nI now know that these extraordinary displays are by no means confined to\nMormonism. People of a certain temperament, excited to frenzy\u2014generally\nby religious enthusiasm\u2014have in all ages given painful illustrations of\nthis mental disease; as the student who remembers the _Convulsionnaires_\nof the middle ages, the Munster Anabaptists of Luther\u2019s time, and the\nvarious emotional sects of more modern days, will abundantly bear me\nwitness. But at that time, new in the faith, and believing as I did\nthat, as the Elders said, it was the manifestion of the power of God,\nas foretold by the prophet Joel, though I secretly felt a sense of\nrepugnance, I tried to combat my better sentiments.\n\nOvercome by the excitement of the moment, Sister Ellis suddenly paused,\nnot so much intentionally as from sheer inability to proceed; and the\nleading Elders looked round from one to another to see if any one was\npresent who could interpret. The gift of interpretation is very rarely\npossessed by the same person who has the gift of tongues, and you may\noften hear one after another arise and \u201cspeak,\u201d but there is no one to\n\u201cinterpret,\u201d and the Saints go away unedified. Even when an interpreter\nis present, there is no authority to determine whether he gives the\nproper rendering of the sounds uttered, and I have over and over again\nheard the most ludicrous stories of the comical interpretation placed by\nsome half-witty or half-witted expounder upon these oracles.\n\nWhen Brother Brigham\u2014then a man who was lowly in his own eyes\u2014first met\nthe prophet Joseph Smith, at Kirtland, Ohio, there was a scene somewhat\nlike the one I have described; and the future leader of \u201cthis people,\u201d\nas he calls the Saints, himself spake with tongues and uttered wonderful\nthings. But even supposing his words at that time to have been of the\nwisest, we all know from the example of Balaam\u2019s _reprover_, that it\ndoes not require a very high order of intellect to speak in unaccustomed\nlanguage\u2014and that, too, to some purpose. In later days the exercise of\nthis gift has been discouraged by the Elders, and especially by Brigham\nYoung. Going one day, some years after, to the Lion-House to see a\ncertain member of the Prophet\u2019s little family concerning a subject which\nlay very near to my heart at that time, we prayed together earnestly\nand anxiously; when suddenly the lady\u2019s face was lighted up with a\nsupernatural glow, and placing her hand on my head she, sibyl-like,\npoured forth a flood of eloquence which\u2014although I did not understand a\nsingle word that was uttered\u2014I confess sent through me a magnetic thrill\nas if I had been listening to an inspired seeress. Another of Brigham\u2019s\nwives who was present interpreted the words of blessing to me, but added:\n\u201cDo not speak of this, Sister Stenhouse, for Brother Young does not like\nto hear of these things.\u201d Thus we see that one inspired prophet in the\npresence of another \u201cprophet, seer, and revelator,\u201d could himself take\npart at one time in a miraculous manifestation, which in later years he\n\u201cwould not like to hear of,\u201d if it was only one of his many wives who\nenacted the prophet\u2019s _r\u00f4le_.\n\nBut my meeting! I have wandered far away from that. Let me proceed.\n\nAfter more testimony, more \u201cspeaking,\u201d and much enthusiasm, the Saints\nseparated. My sister was talking with a young-lady friend, and regretting\nthat no one present had been able to interpret; and I stood by, but did\nnot join in the conversation. Suddenly the young lady turned to me and\nsaid: \u201cSister Fanny, do you not see in all this, more and more, the\nconvincing power of God?\u201d\n\nRather hesitatingly I replied, \u201cYes, I think I do.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Think!_ sister?\u201d said she, with warmth. \u201cOh, yes, I see by your looks\nthat you are only half convinced; your faith is not strong enough yet;\nbut remember, whatsoever is of doubt _is sin_!\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d I answered, \u201cI do not see clearly what good we receive from these\nmanifestations when no one can understand them.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat is your want of faith\u2014nothing else; you have the evidence of\nthe truth before you, and you see how these miraculous powers build\nup the belief of God\u2019s people; and yet you doubt. _To doubt is sin_:\nwhatsoever is not of faith is sin. You must pray and strive, sister, to\nbe strengthened against temptation.\u201d\n\nAll this was not very logical, and it certainly did not help to dispel my\ndoubts. But twice in the course of a few short sentences, she had used a\ncertain expression which, though trifling in itself, was recalled to my\nmind very forcibly before many days had passed.\n\nThis was my first experience of speaking in tongues.\n\nBut there were every-day matters of much more real importance to me than\nthose strange speculations which had recently employed so much of my time\nand attention. It was now necessary that I should either return to France\nand fulfil my engagement with Monsieur D\u2014\u2014 or else resolve, once and for\never, to renounce all those ties which had become so dear to me.\n\nMeanwhile, religious theories were not the only influences brought to\nbear upon my mind.\n\nWhile day by day I began to be still more doubtful whether it would not\nafter all be sinful in God\u2019s sight for me to leave my friends in the new\nfaith and go back to France and my betrothed, who I knew neither was nor\never could become a Saint, other thoughts began to intrude themselves,\nand to shake my determination.\n\nElder Stenhouse\u2019s visits to my father\u2019s house began to be more frequent\nthan ever, but as he desired to become familiar with the French language,\nand would bring his French grammar with him \u201cto get a lesson,\u201d as he\nsaid, no particular notice was taken of his frequent coming. He was\nalways welcomed with pleasure by the whole family, and, of course, by\nmyself, who was his teacher. After awhile he took so much delight in his\nstudies that he could not endure to let an evening pass without a lesson;\nand somehow or other, I must confess, it was the first time since I\nhad been a teacher that I felt such a peculiar pleasure in imparting\ninstruction. I suppose it was the interest which all teachers experience\nwhen their pupils are studiously inclined. My pupil was particularly\nstudious\u2014so much so that he told my father and mother that he could not\nstudy very well in the parlour where every one was conversing, and begged\nthe privilege of having the folding doors thrown partly open, that we\nmight sit in the back parlour and be more quiet.\n\nThis was granted. But after a few evenings my pupil took a notion to\npartly close the folding doors after him, and, as mother\u2019s eyes are\never watchful, one of my sisters was sent in with her sewing to keep us\ncompany. But my pupil by this time had made rapid progress in the French\nlanguage, and while my sister was innocently sewing, he was repeating his\nlesson to me; and it was not our fault if in those French phrase-books\nthere were passages expressive of love and devotion. Unconsciously to us\nboth, he formed the habit of repeating those phrases to me at all times,\nand I formed the equally bad habit of blushing whenever he made use of\nthem.\n\nThis my sister observed, and communicated the fact to my mother, who\nimmediately said that we had better discontinue our French for awhile,\nas it was monopolizing too much of our time, and keeping both of us from\nattending to other and more important duties. But the discontinuation of\nthe French lessons did not put an end to the visits of Elder Stenhouse.\nHe was a persevering young man; but the secret of the great interest\ntaken in the French lessons was soon discovered.\n\nThen it was that arguments of all kinds, and strong reasons, were brought\nforward to shake my purpose of returning to France. I was \u201cin doubt;\u201d\nwhen one day, discussing the point, Elder Stenhouse made use of the\nvery same expression which had fallen from the sister\u2019s lips at the\ntestimony-meeting\u2014\u201cWhatsoever is not of faith is sin.\u201d My mind unsettled,\nwith all the strength of argument and religion on the one side, and on\nthe other no one to plead for reason and for my return to France, who can\nwonder that I\u2014at best only a weak and inexperienced girl\u2014listened to the\nentreaties of my friends, and resolved to stay.\n\nIn the course of a few months I was engaged to be married to Elder\nStenhouse. It may, perhaps, seem strange that I could so soon forget\nthe past, with all its pleasant memories and renouncing my betrothed\nhusband, accept the attentions of another; but it should be remembered\nthat I now firmly believed it was my duty\u2014a duty which I dared not\nneglect\u2014to blot out for ever all past associations, however dear to my\nheart they might be. Besides which, I, in common with all around me, had\nlearned to look upon Elder Stenhouse as almost an angel, on account of\nwhat he had endured for the gospel\u2019s sake; and I thought that any girl\nmight consider herself honoured by an offer of marriage from a man in his\nposition in the Church. My marriage in France would, I feared, have been\nbut doubtful happiness in this world, and certain ruin in the next; but\nheaven itself would bless my union with one of its own ordained and tried\nservants.\n\nThus it came to pass that on the 6th of February, 1850\u2014eight months after\nmy arrival in Southampton\u2014I was married to the young Mormon missionary,\nElder Stenhouse. I entered upon my new sphere as a missionary\u2019s wife,\nfeeling that there were no obstacles so great that I could not overcome\nthem for the gospel\u2019s sake. How little could I then imagine the life that\nwas before me!\n\nI wrote to my friends in France. I told them frankly _all_. In return\nthey wrote to me\u2014especially Monsieur D\u2014\u2014, entreating me to alter my\ndetermination. Kind, and very gentle, were those letters. Dear, very\ndear, has been the memory of them, and of their writers, in later days.\nBut at the time I felt that the influence which they still retained over\nme was in itself a sin.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER V.\n\nTHE FIRST WHISPERINGS OF POLYGAMY.\n\n\nAbout three months after our marriage it was rumoured that four of the\nTwelve Apostles had been appointed to foreign missions, and were then on\ntheir way to England.\n\nThe Saints in Britain had been for several years without any missionaries\ndirect from the body of the church, and the announcement of this foreign\nmission was hailed with joy.\n\nI confess to experiencing much pleasure at the thought of becoming\nacquainted with a living Apostle. How often in my girlhood I had wished\nthat I had lived when men inspired of God walked the earth. What a joy,\nI thought, it would have been to have listened to the wisdom of such\nteachers. Now the time was near when I should realize all the happiness\nof my day-dreams\u2014when I should really have the privilege of conversing\nwith those chosen men of God. The invitation, therefore, to meet the\nConference in London on the 1st of June, was very welcome intelligence.\n\nWe went to the London Conference\u2014my husband and I; and there for the\nfirst time I met with Apostles, who were also Prophets, and Priests, and\nHigh-priests, and Teachers, and Elders, and Deacons\u2014all assembled in\nsolemn convocation.\n\nThe four Apostles whom I met at that time were John Taylor, Lorenzo Snow,\nErastus Snow, and Franklin D. Richards\u2014pleasant and agreeable men, and\nwithal very fair specimens of Mormon missionaries, who had found favour\nin the eyes of Brigham Young and of the leaders in Zion, and who had been\npromoted accordingly. They lived comfortably, wore the finest broadcloth,\nfashionably cut, and were not averse to gold chains, and charms, and\nsignet-rings, and other personal adornments. They put on no particular\nairs, were as polite and attentive to ladies as gentlemen always are, and\ncould go to a theatre or any other place of amusement without hesitation.\nI afterwards discovered that in one particular, at least, if not in all,\nthey resembled the early Apostles, for they too could, like St. Paul,\n\u201clead about a sister\u201d without any compunctions of conscience.\n\nThe Southampton Saints had hitherto formed only a branch of the London\nConference, but did not form a conference of their own. It was now\nresolved that since so large a number had recently been baptized in\nHampshire, the several branches of the church there should be organized\ninto a special conference at Southampton, with Elder Stenhouse as its\npresident; and the Sunday following was appointed for that purpose, when\nthe Apostle Snow, _en route_ to Italy\u2014to which country he had just been\nappointed missionary\u2014would honour the occasion with his presence.\n\nAs we returned, some gentlemen in the same railway carriage, to while\naway the time, I suppose, entered into a religious discussion. What the\nsubject was I do not now remember; but I can recollect that a good deal\nwas said as to which of all the numerous Christian sects really possessed\nDivine authority. Elder Stenhouse took an active part in the argument,\nand being, like all the Mormon Missionaries at that time, very well\nposted in Scriptural discussions, he attracted considerable attention,\nand was much complimented by several persons present.\n\nThe Apostle Lorenzo Snow was silent all the time, but he took note of\nall that passed. Elder Stenhouse was a man of great zeal and untiring\nenergy\u2014qualities in which perhaps Brother Snow felt himself a little\ndeficient; and he was going on a mission which required unflagging\ndevotion and perseverance. We had not been an hour at home, before\nhe told my husband that the Lord had _thrice_ revealed to him that\nhe should accompany him to Italy! How often\u2014even while I still clung\nto Mormonism\u2014did it appear strange to me that the \u201crevelations\u201d of\ndistinguished Saints should so frequently coincide with their own\npersonal wishes, and come at such convenient times.\n\nI had laid aside my travelling-dress, and was hastening to provide some\nrefreshment for the Apostle, when my husband came and told me of the\nrevelation which had been so opportunely received. I was at that time\nas much an enthusiast as Elder Stenhouse himself, and I felt honoured\nthat my husband should be the first English elder appointed to a foreign\nmission. Here was the fulfilment of my ambition, that we should be in\nthe forefront of the battle, and should obtain distinction as zealous\nservants of God. But at what a cost was this ambition purchased! My\npoor, weak heart sickened at the thought\u2014I had been but four months\nmarried.\n\nWhen the Apostle asked me if I were willing that Elder Stenhouse should\ngo to Italy, I answered \u201cYes,\u201d though I felt as if my heart would break.\nI remembered that in my first transport of joy and gratitude after being\nbaptized, I had made a covenant with the Lord that I would do anything\nwhich He might require of me; and I dared not rebel, or break that vow.\nOh, the agony that fell upon my young heart! It seemed that the weight\nof a mountain rested upon it when I was told that my husband might be\nfive years absent. He had already been five years a travelling elder\nwithout a home, trusting for daily bread to the voluntary kindness of\nthe Saints. He had laboured faithfully, and looked forward to the day\nwhen his \u201cConference\u201d should be established, and he could count upon an\nimprovement in his temporal position, and an early call to emigrate to\nZion. In the few months that I had been his wife, it was only natural\nthat I should share his hopes; but just at the moment when they were\nabout to be realized, hopes and expectations were scattered to the winds.\n\nOn the following day the Saints assembled, the Southampton Conference was\norganized, and Elder Stenhouse elected its president. Ten minutes later\nhe was publicly appointed by the Apostle on a mission to Italy.\n\nDuring the few days which intervened between the time when Elder\nStenhouse received his appointment, to the hour of his departure,\nI enjoyed but little of his society. Arranging the affairs of the\nConference which he was leaving, and preparation for his mission, fully\noccupied his attention. I do not think we either of us uttered a word,\nwhen alone together, respecting the future that was before us. It was\nprobably better that we did not. There are moments of our life when\nsilence is better than speech; and it is safer to trust in the mercy of\nGod than to try to shape our own destiny.\n\nThe Saints are noted for the fraternal spirit which exists among them.\nThere are, of course, exceptions; but, as a rule, every Mormon is willing\nto help his brother in the faith, acting upon the principle \u201cOne is\nyour Master, even Christ: and all ye are brethren.\u201d The Southampton\nSaints were no exception to this rule, but showed their kindness both\nto my husband and myself in a thousand little ways. I have spoken of my\nunhappiness during that week of preparation, but I must not forget that\nthere were gleams of hope in the darkness. One occasion I shall never\nforget\u2014a picnic which our friends held as a kind of valedictory feast in\nhonour of the missionaries\u2014of Elder Stenhouse in particular.\n\nRight up the Southampton river, not far from Netley Abbey, is a pleasant\nand picturesque spot, named Bittern, which I need not too particularly\ndescribe, although the memory of its beauty recalls recollections of\nmingled sadness and pleasure to my mind. There my parents now lived, and\nthither it was proposed our friends should go. They could obtain all they\nneeded for the picnic at my father\u2019s house, and we could take our good\nthings into the woods, and enjoy ourselves as we pleased. We had a very\nhappy time; for the moment, even _I_ forgot the cloud that was hanging\nover me; and our dear friends not only enjoyed themselves to the utmost,\nbut seemed bent upon making the time pass pleasantly to every one else.\n\nI had been talking to Sister White about the recent doings of the Saints,\nthe establishment of the Conference and the sending away of Elder\nStenhouse. I wanted Sister White, as in fact I wanted every one else, to\nthink that I was perfectly happy in the separation, and that I counted my\nfeelings as a wife as nothing when placed in the balance against my duty\nas a missionary; and I tried to impress upon her how proud I was that\nmy husband should be the first English Elder entrusted with a foreign\nmission. We talked together a great deal. She was still quite a young\nwoman, though married, and the mother of four darling little children;\nbut probably she had a better experience than I had, and could see\nthrough my attempts to stifle my natural feelings, while at the same time\nshe sympathized with me. She spoke very kindly to me; and as we talked,\nwe wandered inadvertently away from the rest of the party. Suddenly she\nthought of her little boy, and, mother-like, thinking he might be in\ndanger, ran off in search of him, promising to come back immediately.\n\nI sat down upon the grass to await her return. I was somewhat excited\nby the conversation which had passed between us; but as I sat musing my\nagitation began to cool down, and I was soon lost in thought, and did not\nnotice that I was not alone.\n\nI did not hear the light footsteps near me, and did not see a little\nfairy friend, as I called her, pass between me and the sun. But a tiny\nhand was laid gently on my shoulder, and looking up I saw the loving eyes\nof Mary Burton looking straight down into mine.\n\n\u201cWhere have you been, dear?\u201d I asked. \u201cWhy, I have hardly seen you all\nthe day.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut I knew you were here,\u201d she said, \u201cand I thought you were alone; and\nI wanted to see you, and talk with you.\u201d\n\n\u201cCome and sit down beside me, Mary,\u201d I said, \u201cand let us have a little\nchat together.\u201d Then I drew her gently towards me, and she sat down by\nmy side. For a few moments we said nothing, but I was watching her, and\nwaiting to hear what she would say. She seemed such a pretty, such a\nsweet and gentle girl\u2014more like one of those little birds of glorious\nplumage and thrilling song that we see glittering among the dew-drops\nand the dancing leaves, than a child of earth. And I pitied her for her\nbeauty, for such beauty is a snare; and I wondered whether her innocent\nsoul was as fair and glorious before God as her face was sweet to me;\nand I asked whether, in years to come, when the glory of her childish\nradiance had passed away, the brightness of a soul pure and serene would\nlend a new beauty to her features\u2014the beauty, not of childish innocence,\nbut of a noble womanhood.\n\nI took her hand in mine, and asked her some trifling question; but she\ndid not answer. Suddenly she looked up full into my face, and said,\n\u201cSister Stenhouse; I\u2019m very, very sorry for you.\u201d\n\n\u201cSorry for _me_, dear?\u201d I said. \u201c_Why_ should you be sorry? I am not sad.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t say so,\u201d she replied; \u201cyou know in your heart you _are_\nsad, although you don\u2019t say so. It\u2019s a fine thing, no doubt, for Elder\nStenhouse to go away, though for my part I\u2019d rather stop at home if I\nloved any one there; and at any rate, you must feel sorry that he is\ngoing away so far, if you love him.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut Mary,\u201d I said, \u201cyou know it is his duty to go; and he has been\ncalled to it by the Apostle, and it is a great honour.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh yes, I know that,\u201d she replied, \u201cI know that.\u201d Then we relapsed into\nsilence for some few moments. Presently drawing nearer to me, she said\nagain, quite suddenly, \u201cSister Stenhouse, do you know the meaning of the\nword _Polygamy_?\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy, what a funny question to ask me, child!\u201d I exclaimed.\n\n\u201cChild, you call me, Sister Stenhouse; but I\u2019m not a child\u2014at least not\nquite a child; I shall be fifteen next birthday.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, dear,\u201d I said, \u201cI did not mean to offend you; and I call you\n\u2018child\u2019 because I love you; but you asked me such a strange question, and\nused such a strange word.\u201d\n\nThis was quite true, for at that time the word Polygamy was as seldom\nused as the word \u201cpolyandry,\u201d or any other word signifying a state of\nthings with which we have nothing to do.\n\n\u201cI\u2019m not offended,\u201d she said; \u201conly people have a way of treating me as\nif I were only such a _very_ little girl: I suppose I look so.\u201d\n\nShe certainly did look so, and I suppose she read my thoughts. Womanhood,\nby-and-by, brought to her more of reality, both in face and figure, as\nwell as in the terrible facts of life; but at that time the term \u201clittle\nfairy,\u201d which I have so often used respecting her, seemed the most\nappropriate. The meaning of that terrible word Polygamy she understood,\nin later years, fully as well as I did.\n\n\u201cWell, dear,\u201d I said, \u201cwhy did you ask me that strange question?\u201d\n\n\u201cYou must promise not to be angry with me if I tell you,\u201d she answered;\n\u201cand yet I think you ought to know.\u201d\n\nI readily promised\u2014what could I have refused her?\u2014and she said,\u2014\n\n\u201cThe other day two of the sisters were at our house\u2014I may not tell you\ntheir names for fear of making mischief\u2014and they were talking together\nbetween themselves, and did not notice that I was present\u2014or else they\ndidn\u2019t care. And I heard one of them tell the other, that she had heard,\nsecretly, that in Zion men were allowed to have many wives; and she used\nthat word Polygamy very often, and said that was what the people of the\nworld called it.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, Mary dear,\u201d I replied, \u201cthat is no great secret. We have all heard\nthat said before. Wicked people who hate the Gospel say that, and a great\ndeal more, in order to bring scandal upon the Church; but of course it\nisn\u2019t true.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh, but I haven\u2019t told you all,\u201d she said. \u201cThe sisters had a long talk\nabout it, and they explained whom they heard it from, and it was from no\none outside the Church. And then one of them said that Elder Stenhouse\nhad heard all about it, and knew it was true, only of course he did not\ntalk about such things yet; but that the time would come when everyone\nwould acknowledge it, and all the Saints would have many wives. I was\nfrightened when I heard this, and very angry\u2014for I thought of you\u2014and I\nspoke to her, and said it was all untrue, and I\u2019d ask Elder Stenhouse.\nAnd they scolded me very much for saying so, and said it was very wicked\nfor a child to listen; and that was why I did not like you to call me\n\u2018child.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, darling,\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019ll not offend you any more in that way; and\nit was very good of you to tell me anything you thought I ought to know.\u201d\nThen I kissed her, and continued, \u201cBut, after all, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s of\nany consequence. It\u2019s the old scandal, just as in the early days they\nsaid wicked things of Christ and His apostles. Elder Stenhouse knows all\nthat people say, but he has told me again and again that there is not a\nword of truth in it; and I believe him.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou think so, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she replied, \u201cand I suppose I ought\nto think so too; but if it\u2019s all false how did people first begin to\nthink of it? People don\u2019t say that the Mormons are murderers or thieves,\nbecause we have given them no reason to think so. Then why should they\nthink of such an unheard-of thing as Polygamy\u2014surely there must have been\n_some_ reason. Don\u2019t you think so?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, dear,\u201d I answered, \u201cElder Stenhouse says that some very wicked men\nhave sometimes joined the Church, and have done all manner of shocking\nthings, so that they had to be cut off; and then they went about trying\nto make other people believe that the Mormons were as wicked as they\nwere. There was John C. Bennett, who lived a frightful life at Nauvoo,\nand then tried to make out that Joseph Smith was as bad as he was. And\nMarsh, the president of the twelve apostles, and Orson Hyde, when they\napostatized not only said bad things of Joseph, but took affidavit, and\nswore solemnly before the magistrates, that the prophet had been guilty\nof the most fearful crimes.\u201d\n\nI kissed her again; and she said, \u201cWell, perhaps you are right;\u201d but I\ncould see that in her heart she was not convinced.\n\nThen we talked of ourselves and all that interested us, and she told me\nall her childish hopes and ambitions; and to me\u2014young as I was myself\u2014it\nwas pleasant to listen to her innocent prattle. She promised to come and\nsee me when Elder Stenhouse had gone, and I should be left alone; and\nwhen we got back to the rest of the party we were as firm friends as if\nwe had known each other a lifetime.\n\nAt midnight, Saturday, June 15th, 1850, the steamer left Southampton for\nHavre-de-Grace, bearing on board the first two Mormon missionaries to\nItaly; one of them was my husband.\n\nThe Saints had called in the evening to bid Elder Stenhouse good-bye; and\nas he was, of course, to travel \u201cwithout purse or scrip,\u201d they vied with\neach other in showing their appreciation of his position and his devotion\nto the faith. The poorest among them would not be denied the privilege\nof contributing their mites to aid in the conversion of the Italians;\nand none of the brethren felt that they could show too much kindness to\nthe departing missionary. Just in this way have all the foreign missions\nof the Mormon Church been projected and sustained; the elements of\nsuccess were always present\u2014devotion and self-abnegation on the part of\nthe missionaries, and an earnest, self-sacrificing disposition on the\npart of the people, commanding respect, however erroneous or foolish the\nfoundation of their faith.\n\nIn the bustle of departure, Mr. Stenhouse seemed never to have thought\nabout himself, and certainly he made no preparation for me. I had full\nconfidence in him, however, and loved him devotedly, and knew that my\nlove was returned. But men who look for miracles, and count upon special\nprovidences for daily bread, are not generally very prudent or far-seeing\nin their domestic arrangements. Elder Stenhouse had been told that \u201cthe\nLord would provide,\u201d and it therefore seemed to him superfluous that he\nshould interfere; it would have been a lack of faith to have shown too\nmuch interest in what might become of me. He left me with only 1_l._\n\nI now realized the loneliness of my position; there was no earthly friend\nto whom I could turn for sympathy at a time like this. Before my Heavenly\nFather alone I could pour out the bitterness of my soul and all my\ngriefs, and in His presence weep and pray.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VI.\n\nMY HUSBAND\u2019S MISSION\u2014I AM LEFT ALONE.\n\n\nWhen the Apostle Snow called upon Mr. Stenhouse to go to Italy, the\nSaints willingly accepted the responsibility of providing for me during\nhis absence.\n\nThey thought it was more an honour than a burden to have this charge\ncommitted to them; but it was very humiliating to me to be placed in such\na position, however anxious they might be to assist me and to serve the\ngeneral cause. To face opposition, or to give my all for my religion,\nI was willing indeed; but to depend upon others for my daily bread was\nutterly repugnant to my feelings, although, of course, if the Church\nsent away my husband, whose proper place and duty it was to support\nhis family, it was only right that the members of that Church should\nundertake the responsibility. But then, and at many other times during my\nlife, I have learned the truth of Christ\u2019s precept, \u201cIt is more blessed\nto give than to receive.\u201d\n\nThe American Apostle was not without worldly wisdom when he proposed that\nan unmarried man should be appointed to preside over the Southampton\nConference, as his wants would be few. But Mr. Stenhouse had been\nsolicited by a friend, who had a wife and children, to secure his\nappointment; and with ready confidence in that friend, he overlooked his\nown interests and my welfare, and I was left to pass through trials and\nprivations which I can never forget.\n\nThe Saints were very kind, and took pleasure in doing all they could for\nme; but the mistake which my husband committed in leaving his friend\nto succeed him as president of the Conference was soon apparent. The\n\u201cfriend\u201d thought of his own family first, and the family required all\nthat the Saints could reasonably be expected to contribute; and even then\nthey had not enough. I therefore received only such little sums as could\nbe withheld from them; and to make the matter worse, those who had any\nproperty or estate were counselled to sell all, and \u201cgather to Zion.\u201d\nThe more wealthy Saints were soon gone; and the current expenses of the\nchurch fell heavily upon those who were hardly able to support their own\nfamilies.\n\nThey tried to send me something every week, and I have no doubt they did\nsend me all that they could. When their contributions reached four or\nfive shillings (about $1) I thought myself fortunate; more often I did\nnot receive the value of fifty cents in the whole week, at times less,\nand sometimes nothing at all. That unfailing comfort to respectable\nEnglish poverty, a cup of tea, was my greatest luxury, but at times for\nweeks together I had not even that; I had nothing but bread; but I never\ncomplained.\n\nWhenever it was possible I concealed my true situation from every one,\nand in my almost daily letters to my husband not a shadow of a hint was\never dropped relative to my own privations. I wanted him to be successful\nin his mission, and I feared that his energy would desert him if he knew\nof my difficulties. I was in extreme poverty, certainly, but for myself I\nwas not in trouble. God would provide for me, I felt; and it was glorious\nto suffer in a sacred cause.\n\nBut darker days, days of severer trial, were creeping slowly near me. Up\nto this time I had worshipped God and loved my husband with a perfect\nheart. Now the dark shadow of an accursed thing was looming in the\ndistance, and approaching surely if slowly.\n\nIn some way an idea had got abroad that the Mormons were somewhat unsound\nrespecting the marriage question. Still the elders stoutly denied the\ncharge, and the more they were accused the more strenuous became their\ndenials.\n\nAt a public discussion at Boulogne-sur-mer, in France, the Apostle John\nTaylor, in reply to the accusations of Polygamy which were brought\nagainst him, said,\u2014\n\n\u201cWe are accused here of actions the most indelicate and disgusting, such\nas none but a corrupt and depraved heart could have conceived. These\nthings are too outrageous to admit of belief.... I shall content myself\nwith quoting our views of chastity and marriage from a work published by\nus, containing some of our articles of faith\u2014Doctrine and Covenants.\u201d\n\nHe then proceeded to quote from the \u201cBook of Doctrine and Covenants\u201d such\npassages as the following:\u2014\n\n\u201cMarriage is ordained by God unto man; wherefore it is lawful that he\nshould have _one_ wife, and they _twain_ should be _one_ flesh\u201d (p. 218).\n\nHe quoted many other things also, among which might be enumerated the\nfollowing:\u2014\n\n\u201cThou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her,\nand none else.\u201d\n\nHe quoted also many other passages of Scripture which had reference to\nthe subject\u2014each powerful to put aside even the idea of polygamy; and\neach equally powerful as an argument against polygamy itself.\n\nLet the reader here note the value of what Mormons say when their faith\nis called in question. See and judge.\n\nBrother Taylor, who spoke at that meeting, and utterly denied polygamy,\nhad himself\u2014at that very moment when he so atrociously perjured himself,\nand when he swore that no Mormon had more than one wife\u2014_five wives_\nliving in Salt Lake City. One of his friends there present had two wives;\nand the other was married to a mother, and her own daughter!\n\nAny conclusion, any expression of disgust at these abominations and\ndeliberate perjuries, I leave to the reader.\n\nAmong those who came to see Mr. Stenhouse before he left for Italy,\nwas Elder Margetts, an English elder of some prominence in the British\nmission. At the picnic of which I have already spoken, I noticed that\nthis elder was more than usually attentive to a pretty young sister who\nwas also present. There was always an affectionate familiarity among the\nSaints; as I previously mentioned, they were like brothers and sisters,\nand addressed each other as such. But the attentions of the elder I speak\nof pointed a little beyond all this. He could not, perhaps, be accused of\nany open impropriety, but he certainly looked much more like the girl\u2019s\nlover than an ordinary friend or her spiritual adviser.\n\nI knew this Elder\u2019s family in London, and his conduct pained me a good\ndeal. So I drew the attention of my husband to the circumstance; and he\nsaid the Elder was foolish, but he would speak to them both; and this he\ndid.\n\nAfter the departure of the missionaries, this elder remained for several\ndays. He then returned to London, but it was not long before he was again\nin Southampton, and he still paid marked attention to the same young\nsister. This caused unpleasant remarks among the Saints, who at this time\ncertainly did not believe that polygamy was practised in Utah.\n\nAt a later date this Elder, with some others, was again in Southampton,\nand I was invited to take tea with them at the house of one of the\nSaints. In the course of the evening there was a general conversation on\n\u201cthe work of the Lord,\u201d in which I, of course, was greatly interested.\n\nWhenever any of the missionaries were visiting, the Saints would seek\ntheir society, just like children who were glad to meet again their\nparents after a long absence; and at such times they were at liberty\nto ask what questions they pleased. On the evening I speak of, I well\nremember that the general subject of conversation was the apostasy of\nthe Christian Church from the true order of God\u2019s salvation. Prominence\nwas given to the history of Abraham and his descendants, and occasional\nallusion was made to their marital relations; but nothing directly was\nspoken. It was very evident that these elders only wanted to drop a word\nor two here and there, to suit those who wanted it; but nevertheless they\nspoke so obscurely and mysteriously that they could easily have retracted\nwhat was said if any one had accused them of teaching a doctrine which\nthey were unwilling openly to avow.\n\nWhen I returned home that night I was fully satisfied that the Elder I\nhave spoken of had a reason for his frequent visits to Southampton, and\nshortly after the young sister went to London. Whether Polygamy was ever\nto be a doctrine of the Church or not, it was very clear to me that the\nLondon Elder was a polygamist at heart. The more my mind dwelt on these\nthings, the more sick at heart did I become, and faint and weary.\n\nI had, however, personal cares and trials enough to engage my attention.\nI found that I could not depend upon the Saints to provide me with even\nthe barest necessaries of life, so I looked about me and made inquiries\nfor some light employment by which I might support myself. My health\nat that time would not have allowed me to do much, but for a long time\nI could not get anything at all to do. I had, of course, been used to\nteaching, but employment of that kind it was just then impossible for me\nto take, even if I could have got it; the only resource which seemed left\nto me was to find occupation for my needle, and it was a long and weary\ntime before I could obtain even this.\n\nAt length I got a little plain sewing to do, and out of the miserable\npittance thus earned I contrived to pay my rent and provide a few\nnecessaries; but at times that too was beyond my power, and I have gone\na fortnight at a time with nothing to eat but dry bread. Still my faith\nnever failed. And thus the weary days passed by.\n\nNow, however, a new interest began to gather round my life, for I\nexpected before the end of the year the arrival of a little stranger to\nshare my affections and my care. This certainly was a sad beginning of\ndomestic bliss, but still the thought was pleasant to me. I had at that\ntime no one to aid me or comfort me. The Saints were very kind, but they\ncould not supply the place of an absent husband. My dearest friend, Mary\nBurton, used to come as often as she could to see me, and her presence\nwas like a gleam of sunshine; but she was so young, and innocent, and\nhappy, that I had not the heart to trouble her with my sorrows. All\nmy jewellery and trinkets, and the greater part of my wardrobe, had\ngone in providing for my daily wants, and in preparing those necessary\ntrifles upon which a young mother bestows so much loving care. My health\nwas daily failing, and sometimes I doubted if I should ever be well\nand strong again. But all that I suffered was for the Church, and that\nthought sustained me.\n\nOften I would sit alone and think\u2014think of the past, and all my early\nday-dreams of love, and hope, and bliss; think of my husband in a far-off\nland devoting his life and all his energies to the preaching of the\nlatter-day glory; think of those whisperings of that accursed doctrine\nwhich has since brought desolation and anguish to the hearts of so many\nweary women; think of my future life, dark as its promise even then\nappeared.\n\nSometimes I heard from Italy\u2014heard how my husband was progressing\nwith his work, and with wifely love I sympathized with him in all his\ndifficulties, for he told me how arduous the task was in which he was\nengaged.\n\nIt was not the expectation of the Mormon Apostles that the missionaries\nwould do much in Catholic Italy. The same causes were in operation there\nas affected the work in France. Few, if any, really good Roman Catholics\nhave ever joined the Saints. The Irish mission was never successful, and\nthe same may be said of the French and Italian missions. In France and\nItaly by far the greater part of the people might be classed under two\nheads\u2014Roman Catholics, and infidels. The first had already an infallible\nguide in which they trusted; and as for the infidels, they ridiculed\nthe idea of any guide at all. Both classes were utterly devoid of that\nacquaintance with Scripture of which the Mormon missionaries understood\nso well how to take advantage, and which rendered those so susceptible to\nreligious influences who took the Bible as their basis. The missionaries\nin Italy soon experienced the difficulties presented by these facts.\n\nAfter their arrival in Genoa, Mr. Stenhouse was directed to carry the\ngospel to the Waldenses\u2014those brave old Protestants of the dark ages, who\nso manfully suffered, even unto death, for conscience sake; and some time\nafter he had begun his labours among them, the Apostle Snow joined him.\n\nWhatever they might believe or teach theoretically, there can be no doubt\nthat the American Apostles were largely endowed with the \u201corgan\u201d of\ncaution. Preaching without purse or scrip among people who either detest\nyou as a heretic or else regard you with profound indifference is not a\npleasant task, and the Mormon Apostles very prudently \u201ctook up\u201d liberal\ncollections in England before they started. Had it not been for this\ncommon-sense proceeding, I am at a loss to say what would have become\nof the missionaries in Italy; and as it was, their lot was not a very\nenviable one.\n\nBesides the scarcity of money, the other great difficulty experienced by\nthe missionaries was learning the language of their destined converts.\nFor many years it was supposed among the Saints that the \u201cgift of\ntongues\u201d would be all-sufficient for this purpose. The two distinguished\nApostles, Orson and Parley P. Pratt, whose writings did so much for\nMormonism, had both of them eloquently discussed the subject in print;\nbut the missionaries soon discovered that for practical purposes the\n\u201cgift\u201d was not of much service; and the two Pratts themselves afterwards\nexperienced\u2014the one in South America and the other in Austria\u2014the fallacy\nof their theories. Without the \u201cgift\u201d in any shape the work in Italy\nwas necessarily very slow, and an Elder who could speak a little French\nwas sent out from London to assist them. They had at last come to the\nconclusion that if the Lord would not bestow the \u201cgift\u201d upon them, they\nmust try to acquire it themselves.\n\nThe Apostle Snow now thought of sending the Gospel to the Swiss, and Mr.\nStenhouse was selected for the work. But before he went it was determined\nthat the Church in Italy should be \u201corganized,\u201d and about a week later, I\nreceived a long account of how this was done. I heard how, one pleasant\nNovember morning, the Apostle Snow, Elders Stenhouse and Woodward,\ntogether with several Waldenses whom they had converted, ascended the\nmountain side contiguous to La Tour, and overlooking the fertile valley\nof Pinerello. There they sang praises and prayed. They christened the\nplace \u201cMount Brigham;\u201d and the stone upon which the three elders stood\nand offered up a written prayer, they named \u201cThe Rock of Prophecy;\u201d and\nthere they organized the church, dedicating the soil of Italy to the\nLord. Moreover, then and there my husband was solemnly consecrated a\n\u201cHigh-Priest after the Order of the Son of God.\u201d\n\nAll this I heard, and much more; and in confiding faith that this was\nindeed a great and glorious work, I rejoiced that I had been accounted\nworthy to suffer patiently at home, if only my husband might successfully\nfulfil his task abroad.\n\nAfter that I heard that he had left Italy, and had arrived in Geneva,\nbelieving that he would be more successful among the Swiss than the\nItalians.\n\nA few days after the arrival of the missionary in Geneva, an event\noccurred which interested my own self personally\u2014my little Clara was\nborn. Very happy was I when I looked upon her tiny little face for the\nfirst time, and kissed her for being the prettiest baby in the world;\nvery happy was I when I folded her in my arms, and talked to her as if\nshe could understand all that I said; very happy indeed, as I looked at\nher again and again, and marvelled whether she really could be, indeed\nand certainly, my own baby girl. It seemed as if baby\u2019s papa would never\ncome back again, but I had a companion now in my child; and weak and\nweary as I was, with new responsibilities and less power to help myself,\nI found comfort in my new care, and realized the truth of the old Scotch\nsong:\u2014\n\n    \u201cMuckle lichter is the load\n    When luve bears up the creel.\u201d\n\nI was not now alone.\n\nThen, too, came round to see me, Mary Burton. She was as fond and tender\nto me as ever, and tripped quietly about the room, and tried to wait upon\nme, and sat by the bed, playing with baby, calling her all the pretty\nthings she could think of; and I felt that her presence brought new light\nand life to my room. She brought me another letter from my husband, and\nI found that he was now acquiring for himself the \u201cgift\u201d of the French\ntongue, unable to do much else, as he and everybody didn\u2019t understand\neach other. He could not yet talk to the French-speaking Genevese; and\nthe English-speaking residents would not listen to him; they had only\nheard of Mormonism as a clumsy fraud, and looked upon the prophet Joseph\nSmith as an impostor. So, for a whole winter, he sat shut up in his own\nroom, poring over a French grammar, and deploring his hard fate in being\ndenied the gift of tongues.\n\nIn the spring of the new year I received a distinguished visitor, who\nkindly interested himself in my welfare. The Apostle Lorenzo Snow left\nPiedmont for England, and passed through Geneva _en route_. On his way\nto London he called upon me at Southampton, and expressed much sympathy\nfor me. He noticed the change in my appearance, and immediately sent for\nMr. Stenhouse to return to England. He acted very kindly by me at that\ntime; did all that he could to assist me, and said that he never again\nwould ask any man to make such a sacrifice. I fully appreciated all his\nkindness; but much as I wanted to, I did not venture to ask him about\nthe truth or falsity of those terrible suggestions which I had heard\nwhispered of late.\n\nMy husband hastened home, coming by way of Calais, in order to meet his\npresident and receive his instructions. The Apostle showed much sympathy\nfor him, and very early in the morning accompanied him some miles to the\nrailway station; but he never once mentioned how I had been situated in\nSouthampton until he left him, and then he exacted from him a promise not\nto open his lips whatever he might learn.\n\nI need not say that I was happy to see my husband once again, and to\npresent to him his little daughter, who was now five months old. He was,\nof course, soon busy in visiting the Saints, and he received from them\nmany tokens of attachment.\n\nIn the beginning of June a General Conference of the branches of\nthe Church in Britain was held in London. The Apostles and foreign\nmissionaries were present, and my husband and I were also there. We had\nspeeches and prayers. The business of the Conference occupied but very\nfew minutes, for no measure was questioned. Among the Mormons there are\nno opinions, no discussion. The presiding head has made out his programme\nbefore he comes to the Conference; he knows what he wants to do, and\nno one ever questions him. He may perhaps for form\u2019s sake invite the\nbrethren to speak on any point he introduces; but when he has furnished\nthe clue to his wishes, the Elders who speak only spend their time in\narguments in favour of his measures. At the Conference of which I speak\nthe reports of the native elders were very cheering to us. Throughout\nEngland and Wales they had been most successful in adding members to the\nChurch. Mormonism was then most successfully preached in Britain. There\nwere more Mormons there than in all Utah Territory: there were fifty\nConferences, with over seven hundred organized \u201cbranches,\u201d and more than\nsix thousand men ordained to the priesthood. That peculiar influence\nwhich the Mormons call \u201cthe Spirit,\u201d of which I have spoken elsewhere,\nwas spoken of by the Elders as being a common experience everywhere.\n\nDuring all that Conference I listened carefully for a word from the lips\nof any of the speakers which might indicate in any way that Polygamy was\npart of the Mormon faith; but not a whisper, not a hint, was uttered.\nI naturally concluded that the Elders, whose doubtful expressions at\nSouthampton had so troubled my mind, were misinformed or unsafe men.\nStill I could not altogether banish my apprehension of coming evil; but\nso bound to secrecy were those who did know of Polygamy being practised\nin Utah, that there was not one who would admit it, and even my own\nhusband\u2019s lips were sealed to me. He did not deny it, but he would not\ntalk about it, and did everything he could to banish the thought from my\nmind.\n\nAt that Conference the Apostle Snow spoke very strongly of the way in\nwhich I had been neglected; and it was arranged that Elder Stenhouse\nshould return to Switzerland, and that I should accompany him. My\nknowledge of French was expected to be very serviceable.\n\nWe now made preparations for an early departure, and prepared to leave\nour friends. To the reader it may seem strange for a man, his wife,\nand babe, to be sent out in this way on a mission without any proper\narrangement for their maintenance; but to my mind, at the time, it seemed\nto me not only perfectly proper, but altogether in accordance with God\u2019s\nword and commandment.\n\nMy young friend, Mary Burton, came round to bid me good-bye; and the poor\ngirl wept, and I wept with her, and we kissed one another tenderly as our\ntears mingled. We had become very dear to each other, and the thought of\nseparation for years, or perhaps for ever, was very painful to us. She\nhung about my neck at the last moment, kissing me, and begging me not to\nforget to write to her very, very often; and this I gladly promised her,\nasking the same in return. Then with a fond embrace we parted, and it was\nyears before I saw her dear face again.\n\nThus it was that we three\u2014my husband, my babe, and myself\u2014set forth on\nour pilgrimage to convert the Swiss.\n\nIt was with no ordinary feelings that I entered the ancient city of\nGeneva. I was not ignorant of its history, and the struggles of its\ninhabitants for civil and religious liberty. It had been the refuge for\nthe English Protestants during the fiery days of Queen Mary; just as\nin the time of the French Revolution it was the refuge of infidel and\nPapist, royalist and republican alike. There Calvin lived in gloomy\nausterity, battling with Rome; there Servetus, the Unitarian, was\ncondemned to be roasted alive as a heretic; and there we expected in our\nown humble way to be able to testify, by our suffering and patience, to\nwhat we firmly believed was the truth.\n\nIn free countries like England and the United states\u2014free from the\nsurveillance of a military police, it is easy, if he wishes it, for the\nmissionary to mount a chair at a street corner, or hold forth under a\ntree; and such has often been done. But all over continental Europe\nthere is hardly a place where this would be possible. In the various\ngrand duchies, kingdoms, and empires, paternal governments look too\nclosely after the morals and religion of their subjects; while under the\nephemeral republics, as long as they happen to last, there is often to be\nfound, under the name of liberty, a despotism more despotic than under\nthe rule of royalty. It is the _colporteur_, the man of books and tracts,\nwho makes the converts there; and in this slow way we soon found that we\nwere destined to proceed.\n\nDuring my husband\u2019s former stay in Geneva he had had neither Mormon books\nnor Mormon papers, with the exception of a paper published at Boulogne,\ncontaining a letter by the Apostle Taylor, in French and English. This\nsingle copy he lent to a Genevese to read, and never saw it again; and\nyet in a short time, even before he could properly speak French, he\nconverted and baptized two men in the Rhone, one of whom is to-day a\ndevoted Mormon in Southern Utah.\n\nHis first attack was upon a shoemaker, whom he visited for the purpose\nof repairs. While the shoemaker worked, Elder Stenhouse talked; and\nas the English are all reputed wealthy on the continent, the friendly\novertures of the Mormon missionary were graciously received. As they grew\nintimate, Elder Stenhouse would sit down on the bench beside the man as\nhe worked, and taking from his pocket a French Testament, which he always\ncarried about with him, would try to read it aloud\u2014the good-natured\nshoemaker undertaking to correct his pronunciation. In this way he kept\nhis auditor\u2019s attention constantly fixed upon certain passages, more\nespecially those which spoke of baptism for the remission of sins, and\nthe laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. So persistent was\nhe that at last the shoemaker\u2019s curiosity was awakened, and finally he\nwas baptized; but unfortunately, not long after a small pamphlet upon the\nmission of Joseph Smith fell into his hands, and made shipwreck of his\nfaith.\n\nWith his second convert he was much more successful. This time it was\nhis landlord who was to be the subject of attack. He was a tailor, and,\nfortunately for the missionary, somewhat talkative. The same arrangement\nwas made about reading and correction, and with a like result\u2014the tailor\nwas baptized. Just at this time came the Apostle Snow\u2019s letter, telling\nmy husband to return to England; and as he might not leave the country\nwithout a representative, he ordained the tailor a priest in the Mormon\nChurch.\n\nWhen we arrived in Geneva, _Monsieur le tailleur_ was all that\nconstituted the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in\nSwitzerland.\n\nSoon a few personal friends began to gather, to hear the English\nmissionary tell about the new religion; and my husband being very much\nin earnest, interest before long began to be excited. I remember well\nour first meetings among the Swiss\u2014half-a-dozen people sitting round a\ntable with open Bibles before them, passages from which Mr. Stenhouse\nwas trying in very bad French to make them understand. I pitied him very\nmuch, but those who were present made as if they did not notice his\nembarrassment, and listened with marked attention. Among the Mormons it\nis a woman\u2019s duty to keep silence; I therefore remained a listener only.\nBut at the close of the service\u2014for such it was regarded\u2014when I might\nspeak, my missionary labours began; I was aroused to eloquence, and our\nparting was longer than our meeting.\n\nThe warmth with which the few who were present responded to our efforts\nsatisfied me that they had come under the same mysterious influence\nwhich I had observed in England. I was then convinced that Mormonism\ncould awaken the Christian soul more to a realization of what it already\npossessed, than impart to it any new moral or religious qualities.\nMormonism of itself never made Christians, but Christianity built up\nMormonism. It was an awakening to the teachings of Christ and His\nApostles that begat confidence in the mission of the Mormon Prophet.\n\nAlthough we observed the very strictest economy, it did not take long\nfor us to exhaust what little money we brought from England. This placed\nus in a very awkward position. It is inconvenient enough to be without\nmoney in one\u2019s own country, where one understands and is understood by\neverybody; but to be in a strange land, especially in a country like\nSwitzerland, where every Englishman is supposed to be a \u201cmilor\u201d and the\nbounteous dispenser of unlimited wealth, it is more than inconvenient.\n\nWe left our first quarters, where we had had so many visitors, and\nrented a room from a widow woman, who fortunately was not inquisitive.\nShe had a family of children to support; and as we paid our rent monthly\nin advance, she had no occasion to know whether or not we kept a bank\naccount; and we were thankful that it was so, for, had it been so\nordained, we could there have starved to death without attracting the\nnotice of any one. A nice thing to be thankful for!\n\nWe were not hopeless, though we were heavy hearted; but we had expected\ntrial, and could not complain, for we knew from the beginning that thus\nit would probably be.\n\nOne day my husband received a letter from an infidel gentleman who lived\nin Lausanne, a neighbouring canton, requesting him to come and see him,\nthat they might talk together over Mormonism, for he had heard of us and\nof our doctrine; and my husband resolved to visit him before our money\nwas all gone.\n\nWhen Mr. Stenhouse reached Lausanne, he visited first a Protestant\nminister with whom he had some slight acquaintance, and who was also\ninterested in Mormonism, and told him that he was going to call upon the\nGouverneur de l\u2019H\u00f4pital. The minister was greatly opposed to my husband\nvisiting such a man. \u201cHe is a socialist,\u201d he said, \u201ca revolutionist; he\nfought at the barricades; he is a _mauvais sujet_, and anything but a fit\nperson to be spoken to about religion.\u201d\n\nThis only increased the interest which Mr. Stenhouse felt in the\ngovernor, and made him more than ever determined to see him; and he did\nsee him, although the good minister had represented him \u201c_aussi noir que\nle diable_.\u201d So they met; and my husband began the work for which he had\ncome. They had long talks together, and my husband\u2014as did the elders\never in such cases\u2014spoke to the governor of redemption through Christ,\nand baptism for the remission of sins. Faith is not an act of the will.\nLike the unseen wind, it comes, and we see the power thereof, but know\nnot whence it proceeds. Thus at first the unbelieving governor found it;\nhe might find himself no match for the arguments of his opponent, but he\ncould not force his heart to believe, and he was by no means a willing\nconvert. My husband, however, remained with him; and before he left, the\ngovernor had been baptized into the church.\n\nOur new convert proved to be a most excellent and worthy man,\nnotwithstanding his former infidelity, and he was subsequently a great\naid to us in our mission. We felt satisfied that the expenses of that\njourney had been well spent, although a few francs at that time could ill\nbe spared.\n\nBut our circumstances seemed to be getting worse and worse, and my health\nbegan to fail. For several months neither of us had had sufficient\nnourishment, and my anxieties increased my physical weakness. I was\ndispirited, yet I feared to complain, or even to let my husband know\nwhat I felt. At length I fell really ill, and could not leave my bed. I\nwell remember the solemn silence that reigned in our home one day. I had\nrisen from my bed, weak, and oh, so faint-hearted that I had scarcely any\ndesire to live; and I was sitting with my little daughter in my arms.\nShe had cried herself to sleep, cold and hungry, and, much as I loved\nher\u2014nay, idolized her\u2014I confess that for an instant I harboured in my\nsoul the impious, the unnatural wish, that rather than see my darling\nawake again to cold and hunger, she might sleep her sweet young life\naway. For _me_ to yield to such a thought\u2014to wish my child to wake no\nmore! I, who would have given gladly the last drop of my life-blood to\nsave her! For _me_ to look upon her innocent little face with such a\nthought! I can hardly now believe that such a thing was possible, even\nfor a moment. But I was desperate, and bold, and cowardly\u2014all at the same\ntime; or my heart was humiliated by poverty, and my faith was rousing\nbitter thoughts in my mind.\n\nMy husband was pacing the room. I knew too well all that was passing in\nhis mind, although we had long been silent. At length I said to him,\n\u201cTake courage, dear, for we are the servants of the great God, and surely\nHe will find a means of escape for us. We were sent here; we came because\nthe Lord wanted us to come, and surely He will provide for us!\u201d\n\nHe turned to me in reply, and said kindly, \u201cWe can at least have some\nwater;\u201d and he went for some water; and then, with as reverential feeling\nin his soul as ever inspired a grace before dinner, he blessed it, and we\ndrank.\n\nWe had scarcely done so when the mail-courier brought a letter to our\ndoor.\n\nGovernor Stoudeman, with a feeling of delicacy, had hesitated, when my\nhusband visited him at Lausanne, to offer him any assistance; but, he\nsaid in his letter, he had been \u201cimpressed\u201d to do so, and hoped that we\nshould not be offended. As the letter was opened, a piece of gold fell\nupon the table. We could hardly believe that God had so soon answered\nour prayers, and sent us relief; and our emotions of gratitude for this\ntimely aid, found expression in tears.\n\nAll this time our landlady knew nothing of our distress; she was as\nignorant of our situation as if she had never seen us. So long as I was\nable to walk about, I used at regular hours to go to the kitchen, get the\ncooking utensils, and go through the routine of cooking, as if we had\nhad a well-filled larder all the time. I set the table with punctilious\ncare, and the good old widow never suspected but that we had plenty. Thus\nsupposing that we wanted nothing, she and her children were more than\nordinarily kind to us and to our little girl, who was now old enough to\ntoddle round and go from room to room. Very often they would get her into\ntheir room at meal-time, and give her little things to please her; and\nwhile they felt honoured in being permitted to do so, we were silently\nthankful for our child\u2019s sake, for her sufferings were more than we could\nendure.\n\nThe temporary aid from Lausanne was very welcome to us, though it only\nserved to make us feel more keenly our dependent position. I might relate\nstories, alas, too true! of cold and want; of days, and even almost an\nentire week, passed at one time without food\u2014stories which for painful\ndetail would eclipse romance. It was a weary waiting for Providence! Such\nthings are better forgotten. And yet I feel that in after years my temper\nwas more subdued, and my mind more patient under affliction, than it\nwould have been had I not experienced this preparatory discipline.\n\nPeople who have heard, with a sneer, of Mormon missionaries and their\nwork, would perhaps have realized that faith may be sincere, although\nmistaken, if they could have seen us at that time. The first teachers\nof a doctrine, whether it be good or evil, if only it stems the current\nopinions of the hour, have ever found that at the end of a rocky way\nthere was waiting for them a crown of thorns.\n\nMany a time since then I have felt the weight of anxious care in\nproviding for my family; the trial of our faith has not been light, or\nseldom repeated; but those days of trouble in Switzerland were, I think,\nthe darkest I ever experienced. We realized literally the necessity of\ntrusting to God\u2019s daily mercies for our daily bread; and the assurance\nthat the Lord would provide, was our only hope. To say that we practised\nthe strictest economy, would be to give but a faint idea of the way in\nwhich we had to consider and contrive in order to exist at all. For\nyears we kept the \u201cWord of Wisdom\u201d\u2014a \u201cRevelation of Joseph Smith,\u201d which\nenjoined abstinence from wine, coffee, tea, or, in fact, warm drinks of\nany kind; and trifling as such self-denial may at first appear, it was\nnot really so when other privations were added thereto. For months at a\ntime we existed\u2014for I dare not say lived\u2014without what are considered,\neven by the poorest, the most common necessaries. I can even recall to\nmind one trying week in Switzerland, when, for the whole seven long days,\nwe had less than a pint of corn-flour to live upon, and that was chiefly\nreserved for our poor child.\n\nAs I look back to those dark, painful times I feel that it was by little\nshort of a miracle that our lives were spared. Our faith alone saved us.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VII.\n\nOUR MISSION IN SWITZERLAND\u2014MUTTERINGS OF THE COMING STORM.\n\n\nVery soon after this we were notified that the Apostle Snow was on his\nway to Switzerland, and that we might shortly expect him.\n\nThis to me was joyful news, for he had relieved me of my trouble once\nbefore, and I almost looked upon him as my good angel. He came, and\nremained with us a few days; and before he left he instructed Mr.\nStenhouse to repair to England, to raise funds to aid the mission. He\nalso gave me a few pounds to procure what I needed for an event which I\nexpected shortly to take place. This kindness on his part brought to my\nmind such a sense of relief, and so renewed my energy, that I felt ready\nfor my missionary labours again.\n\nWhen my second child was about two months old I went to Lausanne to\nreside, while my husband was absent in England. Apartments were engaged\nfor me at the house of a gentleman who had recently been baptized. I was\nmade very comfortable there, and for the first time since my husband was\nsent on a mission, I experienced a feeling of repose, so that I now had\nsome hopes of regaining mental and physical strength. No provision had\nbeen made by the Saints for my support; but even without that, I thought,\nliving among those who were themselves happy, and one with us in the\nfaith, I should myself find more tranquillity of mind.\n\nMadame and Monsieur Balif, in whose house I resided, were persons of good\nsocial position. The husband was one of nature\u2019s gentlemen, and as good\na man as I ever knew. He received the Mormonism taught by Mr. Stenhouse\nwith all his heart, and never seemed weary of showing his gratitude\nby his good deeds. Madame Balif did not at once join the church, and\nprobably never would have done so but for the love which she bore to her\nhusband. She was not, however, hostile to the new faith, as some other\nwives were, and she did all that she could to render pleasant my stay\nwith them, and tried to make me forget what I had suffered in Geneva.\n\nMadame Balif was a high-spirited, impulsive woman, and devotedly attached\nto her husband; I never saw a woman more so. She impressed me as being\none of the happiest of wives; he one of the best of husbands. After I\nhad lived in the house a few weeks, she was baptized; but she never was\nsatisfied with Mormonism. Poor, dear lady! How often have I bitterly\nregretted that I was instrumental in leading her into the Mormon Church,\nin which, as (years later, in Utah) she told me, she endured such cruel\nhumiliation and martyrdom. I knew well indeed then what all that meant.\n\nWhile I lived with them, it was agreed that I should pay for my\napartments monthly; but after I had paid for the first month, Monsieur\nBalif told me that I should do so no more. And knowing that he meant it\nas an expression of kindness and gratitude on his part, I felt relieved\nof all anxiety on that account. All that I had, even then, for the\nsupport of myself and my two little ones was about five francs ($1) a\nweek; but my wants were few, for I had taught myself to require nothing\nbut what was absolutely necessary to keep me alive.\n\nDuring Mr. Stenhouse\u2019s absence, the meetings were held in my parlour;\nand as the brethren who had joined the church had not previously been\nreligious men, though they were persons of the best moral character,\nthey were very diffident about conducting the meetings, and for a time\ncould not think of praying before others. It devolved upon me\u2014of sheer\nnecessity, for I disliked prominence as much as they did\u2014to lead the\nsinging, to pray, to preach\u2014in fact, to do everything. Had I not done so,\nthey would have sat looking at each other, for they were all too timid to\nspeak. I encouraged them in every way to try, and finally we got along\nvery well. A \u201cgood spirit\u201d prevailed; and we were like a little band of\nbrothers and sisters.\n\nThe only person, now, who gave me any anxiety was Madame Balif, who was\nvery weak in the faith. Her doubts and fears troubled me much, for I\nhad conceived a very great regard for her. I feared that with a heart\nso proud and rebellious as hers, she would never get salvation, and I\ntrembled for her happiness. How slight a hold the new faith had taken of\nher mind, I was forcibly reminded by an incident which was at the time a\ngreat trial to me.\n\nMy little daughter fell sick of intermittent fever, and I dared not call\nin a physician; it would not do for me, a missionary\u2019s wife, to show lack\nof faith. Such was our zeal in those days. But now, as I once before\nstated, even the most orthodox Mormons, including Brigham Young, do not\nthink of relying upon God and the ordinances of the church, as they used\nto in former years, but call in the best physician they can get.\n\nI was much troubled about my little girl, for she was evidently failing\nfast. She had been \u201cadministered to\u201d by one of the native elders, who\nhad anointed her with oil, and prayed over her; but yet she did not get\nbetter. Madame Balif, in the midst of my affliction, taunted me about the\nchild not recovering, and asked where was the power of God, of which I\nhad talked so much: \u201cNow,\u201d she said \u201cif you could get that child healed,\nit would be some proof to my mind that the power you speak of is still\nin the church.\u201d I felt ashamed that I had not exercised more faith. I\nwas certain that the gift of healing _was_ in the church, and I believed\nit was my own fault that the child was not even now well. In my zeal I\nreplied rather warmly, \u201cMy child _will_ be healed, and you shall see\nit.\u201d But I had no sooner uttered these words than I began to fear I had\npromised too much.\n\nI determined, however, that nothing on my part should be left undone. I\nsent for Governor Stoudeman, our new convert, as he was the president of\nthe branch and an elder. I told him that this child _must_ be healed by\nthe power of God. We had not witnessed any manifestation of the healing\npower among the Saints in Switzerland up to that time; and I earnestly\ndesired that now for the first time this gift might be proved among us,\nfor the sake of the church as well as for my own. So I told the governor\nthat it was his duty, as well as mine, to fast and pray that the Lord\nmight grant us this blessing, that it might be a testimony that it was\nHis work and that we were His servants.\n\nHe became as enthusiastic as I was myself, and we fasted and prayed for\nnearly two days. At the end of that time he came to see me, and by the\nbedside we knelt and prayed; and he laid his hands upon the child, and\nblessed her in the name of the Lord.\n\nThat night the child was very low; and though I strove to show my faith,\nI dreaded that she would have her usual attack of fever about midnight.\nAfter the departure of the elder, Madame Balif came into the room, and\nsaid, \u201cYour child is very ill; if your God cannot help her, why do not\nyou send for a physician?\u201d This appeared to me so profane, and such an\ninsult to my God and my faith, that I replied indignantly, \u201cMadame, she\n_will_ and _shall_ be healed this very night; for I know that power is in\nthe church. The reason why the child was not healed before is, because I\nhave not been earnest enough in seeking the Lord.\u201d\n\nWhen I was left alone I sat down by the bedside, trembling lest I had\nbeen too rash in declaring that the child would be healed that same\nnight. Much and fondly as I loved my little treasure, I confess that I\nsuffered more at the thought of God\u2019s name suffering reproach than I\ndid from fear of my darling\u2019s death; and I tried earnestly to banish my\ndoubts, with the remembrance that all things are possible to them that\nbelieve.\n\nKneeling there in the dark and lonesome midnight, I poured out my soul\nfervently to God, beseeching Him, for His kingdom\u2019s sake, and for the\nglory of His great name, to answer, and not to suffer my unworthiness to\nstand in the way. I watched hour after hour beside my darling\u2019s bed, and\nthe child slept on peacefully, without any symptoms of returning fever;\nand, oh! how anxiously I waited for her awaking.\n\nAt last, worn out with fatigue and watching, I laid myself down on the\nbed beside her, and soon fell asleep; and when I awoke it was daylight,\nand my little one was peacefully sleeping on still\u2014the fever had left\nher. No tongue could tell the gratitude which filled my heart; I could\nonly weep tears of joy, and sing aloud my praise to God.\n\nMadame Balif entered the room early in the morning to see what kind of\na night we had passed. Then I drew her to the bedside, and told her how\ntranquilly the child had slept all night, and showed her how much better\nshe looked, and asked her if she did not see in all this the providence\nof God. But she simply said, \u201cAh, well! I suppose the disease had run its\ncourse.\u201d This grieved me, for I had trusted that such a direct answer\nto my prayers would have helped to increase her faith in our religion;\nbut Mormonism had not touched her heart; and I believe it is much more\nthe devotion of the heart than it is the mental acquiescence in doctrine\nwhich gives us the power to hope, and endure, and believe.\n\nWhen, by-and-by, my little Clara awoke, she was evidently very much\nbetter, and not only free from the fever, but bright and cheerful, like\nher former self; and she never relapsed. In the course of a week she was\nrunning about as well as ever, and the Saints were greatly confirmed in\ntheir faith.\n\nOne morning, not long after this, Madame Balif brought me a letter which,\nas it bore the English postmark, she supposed came from my husband. The\nwriting, however, was strange to me; and dreading that some terrible\nthing might have happened, I tore it open. There, at the bottom of the\nlast page\u2014for the letter was very long\u2014in neat, clear characters, was the\nsignature of my fairy friend, as I called her, Mary Burton. I read the\nletter through with the deepest interest. It was addressed \u201cTo darling\nSister Stenhouse,\u201d and was overflowing with affection. Used as I was to\nall her endearing ways, I could almost fancy that while I read I heard\nher speaking the words. After a great outpouring of love, she said,\u2014\n\n    \u201cSince you went, I have grown quite an old woman. You used\n    to call me \u2018Little fairy,\u2019 but, Sister Stenhouse, I am much\n    bigger now. I am now a good deal over seventeen, and people say\n    that I am getting to be quite a woman. I might tell you some\n    other pretty things that are said about me, but I\u2019m afraid you\n    would say it was all vanity of vanities. If you stay away much\n    longer, you won\u2019t recognize me when we meet again.\n\n    \u201cAnd now I want to tell you something that interests you as\n    much as me. I have not been able to discover anything more\n    with certainty about those hateful things of which I told you,\n    although the word Polygamy seems to me to become every day much\n    more familiar in people\u2019s conversation. Elder Shrewsbury tells\n    me that there is not a word of truth in it; and he has had a\n    good deal of conversation upon that subject with the apostles\n    who are here, and also with a man named Curtis E. Bolton\u2014an\n    Elder from the Salt Lake; and they all positively declare that\n    it is a foul slander upon the Saints of the Most High. So you\n    see that all our unhappiness was for naught. Our Saviour said\n    we should be blessed when all men spoke evil of us falsely for\n    His name\u2019s take; and the wicked scandal which has been raised\n    against our religion has had a tendency to strengthen my faith,\n    which you know was rather wavering.\n\n    \u201cAnd yet do you know, Sister Stenhouse, that even while I am\n    writing to you in this strain, I am weak enough to allow doubts\n    and fears to creep into my heart when I think of the conduct of\n    some of the American brethren.\n\n    \u201cThey appear to me, for married men, to act _so very_\n    imprudently; and to call their conduct \u2018imprudent\u2019 is really\n    treating it with the greatest leniency, for I have often been\n    quite shocked at the way in which some of the brethren and\n    sisters acted. But I will tell you a little about it, and you\n    shall judge for yourself.\n\n    \u201cWhen I found out, as I had long suspected, that dear papa was\n    going to marry again, I at once resolved that I would no longer\n    be a burden to him, but would find some employment, and support\n    myself. I was induced to do this, partly because as you know,\n    step-mothers and daughters do not always love each other quite\n    as much as they might. So I communicated my wishes to papa,\n    and told him that I had been introduced to a very nice lady,\n    who had a large dressmaking establishment at the west end of\n    London. She is a member of the Church, and has always been\n    very highly spoken of. I told him that she employed a number\n    of highly respectable young girls, and that four, at least, of\n    them were members of the Church, and that, in consideration\n    of my lonely situation, and at the earnest request of Elder\n    Shrewsbury, she was willing to take me into her house, to board\n    and lodge me, and teach me the business thoroughly, if my\n    father would pay her a premium of fifty pounds.\n\n    \u201cThis papa readily agreed to do, as I expected he would, for\n    he is so taken up with my step-mamma that is to be; and beside\n    which he has, I know, been unfortunate lately in some railway\n    speculations, and has lost a great deal of money, and therefore\n    wishes to economize. In this way I went to London, and became a\n    member of Mrs. Elsworth\u2019s family\u2014and here I am still.\n\n    \u201cNow you have been in London, Sister Stenhouse, and must\n    remember \u2018the office\u2019 in Jewin Street\u2014the head-quarters where\n    all the elders congregate, and where the American elders board,\n    and church business is managed. Well, the very first week I was\n    at Mrs. Elsworth\u2019s I noticed that the four young sisters who\n    were working there were constantly talking of Jewin Street,\n    and the dear American brethren who were stopping there. One of\n    them in particular was always talking about dear Elder Snow;\n    and another girl whispered to me that she went to Jewin Street\n    every evening, and frequently remained there to tea with him,\n    and went afterwards to the theatre with him, or to a meeting,\n    as the case might be; and the young lady added, \u2018She does make\n    such a fuss over him, toying with him, and brushing and combing\n    his hair. I know that she does it, for I have been there with\n    her, and have seen her do it; and he appears to enjoy it quite\n    as much as she does; and I believe, if Polygamy was true he\n    would marry her.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018But,\u2019 I said, \u2018it is not true, and therefore it is very wrong\n    for her to act in that way, for he is a married man.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018Oh, but you know,\u2019 she answered, \u2018that we are all brothers\n    and sisters, and the brethren tell us that those little\n    attentions make them feel that they are not so far from home,\n    and they are thus enabled to perform their mission better; and\n    if that is so, it is the duty of the young sisters to encourage\n    them. These _little attentions_ cost nothing, and I\u2019m sure it\u2019s\n    quite a pleasure to me.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018Then _you_ go to Jewin Street?\u2019 I asked.\n\n    \u201c\u2018Yes,\u2019 she said, \u2018sometimes, but not very often, for _my_\n    elder calls here frequently, as he is acquainted with Mrs.\n    Elsworth; and then I take my work up into the parlour\n    sometimes, and have a long talk with him. Mrs. Elsworth does\n    not like it, I know, but she does not care to oppose the\n    elders;\u2014in fact, her husband will not allow any such thing\u2014he\n    has dared her to do so. After all, she is very silly, for we\n    ought to love each other and be free and friendly. My elder\u2014I\n    call him _my_ elder, you know, simply because I like him better\n    than the others\u2014calls Mrs. Elsworth \u2018Gentilish,\u2019 and says\n    she\u2019ll get over it when she goes to Zion. But she says she\n    won\u2019t. She is awfully jealous of her husband and a certain Miss\n    Caroline somebody, though she doesn\u2019t care for him.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018But what difference can it make to him?\u2019 I asked her. \u2018He has\n    a wife, and ought not to pay attention to any other woman.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018Ah, you silly child,\u2019 she said, \u2018it is only brotherly love,\n    after all, and men often have wives who do not make them happy,\n    and that makes them seek the society of the young sisters, for\n    those who are far from home are lonely. My own elder\u2019s wife is\n    here in London, but he isn\u2019t much with her. He spends nearly\n    all his time in Jewin Street; he is a travelling Elder, and\n    when he is going anywhere to preach he always calls for me,\n    as he does not like going alone, he is such a genial soul. If\n    Polygamy were true, I\u2019d promise to marry him when we reached\n    the Valley.\u2019\n\n    \u201cThen I asked why his wife didn\u2019t go with him; and she said,\n    \u2018Oh, poor man! he has no pleasure in _her_ society. She is\n    always moping and unhappy. You know, some women are naturally\n    so. I do all I can to make him feel well, for it must be awful\n    to be married to a woman who is always sad.\u2019\n\n    \u201cI asked her _why_ his wife should be so unhappy; and she said,\n    \u2018He tells me that she has got it into her head that somehow or\n    other Polygamy is practised in Zion; and I\u2019m sure I, for one,\n    wish it was so, for then we could marry whoever we pleased.\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018Oh, for shame!\u2019 I said. \u2018I\u2019m sure I\u2019d never go there, if I\n    thought so.\u2019\n\n    \u201cThen I asked her whether she did not think it was wrong for\n    her to encourage the attentions of _her_ elder; and she said,\n    \u2018He wishes it just as much as I do; and his wife had better\n    behave herself, or I\u2019ll marry him whether Polygamy exists or\n    not in Zion; and he does not know, though we both suspect,\n    that there _is_ something in the rumours which we have heard.\u2019\n    Then I told her I thought it was very wicked to encourage the\n    visits of that man; for I believe that if he paid a little more\n    attention to his wife she would be less unhappy\u2014for I suppose\n    she knew of his attentions to her.\n\n    \u201cShe said the wife knew nothing about it; that he was obliged\n    to be out late at night, preaching, or at Jewin Street\u2014which I\n    knew meant flirting with the sisters and going to the theatre;\n    and I fancy he does more of that than preaching. But she seemed\n    to think it was all the wife\u2019s fault, and blamed her. I asked\n    her if she would like to be treated so, if she were an Elder\u2019s\n    wife, and had to work as hard and endure as much as all the\n    Missionaries\u2019 wives do. But she said she never could be in\n    such a position, and told me that I was not a good Mormon or I\n    would not set myself up as the accuser of the brethren. But I\n    ask you, Sister Stenhouse, if that is the Mormonism which the\n    elders used to teach us?\n\n    \u201cAnd now I have told you all our long talk together, and so you\n    can judge for yourself what a change has taken place since you\n    left.\n\n    \u201cThe same day, after dinner, Brother Snow called, in company\n    with two other elders, to see Mrs. Elsworth, and to ask her and\n    the girls to a tea-party the next day. Mrs. Elsworth declined;\n    but one young lady would go with Brother Snow, and Miss\n    Caroline went with another elder; and my light-hearted friend\n    waited till _her_ Elder came also to ask _her_. After that,\n    came Elder Shrewsbury, and I, of course, was to go with him.\n\n    \u201cWith all my faith, I am very much troubled about these things.\n    They are not right, I think. Why, scarcely a day passes but\n    some of these elders, who appear to have very little to do,\n    call here, and send for one or two of these young sisters, and\n    detain them from their work, much to the annoyance of poor Mrs.\n    Elsworth, who, I believe, will apostatize over it eventually.\n\n    \u201cSee what a long letter I have written to you! I am afraid it\n    will tire you. I often long to have you here, that I might come\n    to you and tell you all my troubles. But perhaps after all I\n    am wrong, and ought to see things in a different light. Have\n    not the Elders and Apostles positively denied that Polygamy or\n    any other sin was practised in Utah, or formed any part of the\n    Mormon religion? and we know that these men of God would not\n    deceive us.\n\n    \u201cBe sure, dear, to write a nice long letter to me _very soon_;\n    and, with fondest love, remember your own\n\n                                                     \u201cMARY BURTON.\u201d\n\nI read this letter carefully through, and I sat down and thought of\ndear Mary Burton, and felt deeply sorry that she should be placed in a\nsituation surrounded by so many temptations. To myself the letter brought\na sad confirmation of all my fears. There was something painful in the\nthought. Had Polygamy been openly avowed as a Mormon doctrine, I should\nnever have joined the Church. But now, what could I do?\n\nAfter three months\u2019 absence, Mr. Stenhouse was to return home, and I went\nto Geneva to meet him, feeling very happy when I saw him once again.\nNumbers of persons, both in Geneva and Lausanne had been converted while\nhe was away, and were waiting for him to baptize them\u2014among them was\na retired Protestant minister, Monsieur Petitpierre, of whom I have\nsomething yet to mention. We began at last to rejoice in our success, and\nto be thankful that the Lord had answered our prayers.\n\nI was now more than ever anxious about Polygamy. From much thinking on\nthat subject, it had become the haunting spectre of my existence, and\nI dreaded what every day might bring forth. The news which my husband\nbrought with him by no means reassured me. He told me that he had heard\nin England from the American Elders that there was a general expectation\namong the Saints in Utah that at the October Conference in Salt Lake\nCity, Brigham Young would publish to the world that Polygamy was a\ndoctrine of the Mormon Church.\n\nAfter all the prevarications and denials then of the Apostles and\nElders, Polygamy among the Saints was really a fact. As the truth\nbecame clearer to my mind, I thought I should lose my senses. The very\nfoundations of my faith were shaken, and not only did I feel a personal\nrepugnance to the unholy doctrine, but I began to realize that the men\nto whom I had listened with such profound respect, and had regarded as\nthe representatives of God, had been guilty of the most deliberate and\nunblushing falsehood; and I began to ask myself whether, if they could\ndo this in order to carry out their purpose in one particular, they\nmight not be guilty of deception upon other points? _Who_ could I trust\nnow? For ten years the Mormon Prophets and Apostles had been living in\nPolygamy at home, while abroad they vehemently denied it, and spoke of\nit as a deadly sin. This was a painful awakening to me; we had all of us\nbeen betrayed. I lost confidence in man, and almost began to question\nwithin myself whether I could even trust in God.\n\nThere was no argument between Mr. Stenhouse and myself. It would have\nbeen worse than useless, for it was not his doing, and he assured me that\nhe had as great a repugnance to the doctrine as I had. He had at first\nonly hinted that it _might_ eventually be acknowledged by the leaders of\nthe Church; but it was a matter of too deeply a personal character for me\nto keep silence, and I did not rest until he had told me all. He had not\nseen the revelation, but the information which he had received was beyond\na question; and singularly enough Elder Margetts, the London Elder of\nwhose flirtation in Southampton I have already spoken, was at that time\non a visit to Switzerland, and confirmed all that my husband had said.\nThus the very man who, two years before, first excited my suspicions, now\nconfirmed my fears, and openly stated as a fact that which he then was\nashamed almost to suggest.\n\nElder Margetts had been in Utah from the time I saw him in England, and\nwas now on a mission to Italy. He knew, therefore, very well what was\nsaid and done among the Saints in Zion. I, and those like me, whose faith\nwas not too strong, were spoken of as \u201cbabes\u201d to whom milk only must\nbe given; and in this way any deception necessary to quiet our tender\nconsciences was allowable; but Elder Margetts was one of the \u201cstrong\nmen,\u201d to whom meat was necessary\u2014in other words, they were initiated into\nall the mysteries of the faith.\n\nMy husband enjoined me not to speak of what I had heard, and I felt very\nlittle inclination to do so\u2014my heart was too full. The pleasant dreams\nand hopes of life were ended now to me. What could I look forward too?\nHenceforth the stern realities of a lonely and weary existence were all\nthe future that should be mine.\n\nStill, the \u201cRevelation\u201d sanctioning a change in the doctrines and\npractice of the church, was not yet published; and until polygamy was\nopenly avowed I felt that the doom of my happiness was not yet sealed;\nand like many another heart-broken woman, I hoped against hope.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VIII.\n\nTHE REVELATION ON \u201cCELESTIAL MARRIAGE.\u201d\n\n\nAnd time flew by; and at length the dreaded Revelation came.\n\nOne very pleasant morning, early in January, 1853, two Elders of the\nItalian Mission, Jabez Woodward and Thomas Margetts, took breakfast with\nus; and with them also was Mons. Petitpierre from Geneva, the Protestant\nminister of whom I have already spoken. While I was busy preparing the\nmeal, Mr Stenhouse and the two English elders went to the post office to\nget their letters, for at that time they were expecting important news.\nWhen they returned, breakfast was quite ready, and they took their seats\nat the table. I asked if there were any letters from England; and my\nhusband said, \u201cNo, no letters; but there is a _Star_, and it contains the\nRevelation on Polygamy.\u201d\n\nHe handed me a copy of the _Millennial Star_, a Mormon paper published\nin Liverpool; and as I took it, I felt as if I were receiving my\ndeath-warrant. It was indeed the death-warrant to all my hopes of\nhappiness. I rose from the table, asking them to excuse me; and overcome\nwith agitation and conflicting emotions, I retired to my own chamber.\nThere, for the first time, I read that document which has since brought\nsuch sorrow and misery to so many wronged and heart-broken women. The\nreader may perhaps like to see the only foundation and authority for\nthe practice of polygamy ever produced by the Mormon leaders. So I copy\n_exactly_ from the _Millennial Star_ what I then read, leaving out only a\nfew lines here and there, which had no special reference to the subject,\nbut helped to swell the size of the \u201cRevelation:\u201d\u2014\n\n    CELESTIAL MARRIAGE:\n\n    A REVELATION ON THE PATRIARCHAL ORDER OF MATRIMONY, OR\n    PLURALITY OF WIVES.\n\n    _Given to Joseph Smith, the Seer, in Nauvoo, July 12th, 1843._\n\n    1. Verily, thus saith the Lord, unto you, my servant Joseph,\n    that inasmuch as you have inquired of my hand, to know and\n    understand wherein I, the Lord, justified my servants,\n    Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; as also Moses, David, and Solomon,\n    my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of\n    their having many wives and concubines: Behold! and lo, I\n    am the Lord thy God, and will answer thee as touching this\n    matter: Therefore prepare thy heart to receive and obey the\n    instructions which I am about to give unto you; for all those\n    who have this law revealed unto them must obey the same; for\n    behold! I reveal unto you a new and everlasting covenant, and\n    if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one\n    can reject this covenant, and be permitted to enter into my\n    glory; for all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide\n    the law which is appointed for that blessing and the conditions\n    thereof, as was instituted from before the foundations of the\n    world: and as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant,\n    it was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that\n    receiveth a fulness thereof, must and shall abide the law, or\n    he shall be damned, saith the Lord God.\n\n    2. And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law\n    are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths,\n    vows, performances, connexions, associations, or expectations,\n    that are not made or entered into, and sealed, by the Holy\n    Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed both as well for time\n    and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation and\n    commandment, through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have\n    appointed on the earth to hold this power (and I have appointed\n    unto my servant Joseph to hold this power in the last days;\n    and there is never but one on the earth at a time on whom this\n    power and the keys of the priesthood are conferred), are of no\n    efficacy, virtue, or force, in and after the resurrection from\n    the dead: for all contracts that are not made unto this end,\n    have an end when men are dead.\n\n    ...\n\n    4. Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he\n    marry her not by me, nor by my word; and he covenant with her\n    so long as he is in the world, and she with him, their covenant\n    and marriage is not of force when they are dead, and when they\n    are out of the world; therefore they are not bound by any law\n    when they are out of the world; therefore, when they are out of\n    the world, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but\n    are appointed angels in heaven, which _angels are ministering\n    servants_, to minister for those who are worthy of a far\n    more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory; for\n    these angels did not abide my law, therefore they cannot be\n    enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation,\n    in their saved condition, to all eternity, and from henceforth\n    are not gods, but are angels of God for ever and ever.\n\n    5. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife,\n    and make a covenant with her for time, and for all eternity,\n    if that covenant is not by me, or by my word, which is my law,\n    and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him\n    whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is\n    not valid, neither of force, when they are out of the world,\n    because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by\n    my word; when they are out of the world, it cannot be received\n    there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there,\n    by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my\n    glory, for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.\n\n    6. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife\n    by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting\n    covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit\n    of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have\n    appointed this power, and the keys of this priesthood, and\n    it shall be said unto them, Ye shall come forth in the first\n    resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in\n    the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms,\n    principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and\n    depths\u2014then shall it be written in the Lamb\u2019s Book of Life,\n    that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood;\n    and if ye abide in my covenant and commit no murder whereby\n    to shed _innocent blood_, it shall be done unto them in all\n    things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and\n    through all eternity, and shall be of full force when they are\n    out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the\n    gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all\n    things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall\n    be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds for ever and ever.\n\n    7. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore\n    shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they\n    continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are\n    subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have\n    all power, and the angels are subject unto them.\n\n    ...\n\n    9. Verily, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife\n    according to my word, and they are sealed by the Holy Spirit of\n    promise, according to mine appointment, and he or she shall\n    commit any sin or transgression of the new and everlasting\n    covenant whatever, and all manner of blasphemies, and if they\n    commit no murder, _wherein they shed innocent blood_\u2014yet they\n    shall come forth in the first resurrection, and enter into\n    their exaltation, but _they shall be destroyed in the flesh_,\n    and shall be delivered unto the buffetings of Satan, unto the\n    day of redemption, saith the Lord God.\n\n    10. The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which shall not be\n    forgiven in this world, nor out of the world, is in that ye\n    commit murder, wherein ye shed innocent blood, and assent\n    unto my death, after ye have received my new and everlasting\n    covenant, saith the Lord God; and he that abideth not this law\n    can in no wise enter into my glory, but shall be damned, saith\n    the Lord.\n\n    ...\n\n    13. God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham,\n    to wife. And why did she do it? Because this was the law. And\n    from Hagar sprang many people. This, therefore, was fulfilling,\n    among other things, the promises. Was Abraham, therefore, under\n    condemnation? Verily, I say unto you, _Nay_; for I, the Lord,\n    commanded it. Abraham was commanded to offer his son Isaac;\n    nevertheless, it was written, Thou shalt not kill. Abraham,\n    however, did not refuse, and it was accounted to him for\n    righteousness.\n\n    14. Abraham received concubines, and they bare him children,\n    and it was accounted unto him for righteousness, because they\n    were given unto him, and he abode in my law. As Isaac also\n    and Jacob did none other things than that which they were\n    commanded, they have entered into their exaltation, according\n    to the promises, and sit upon thrones; and are not angels, but\n    are gods. David also received many wives and concubines, as\n    also Solomon, and Moses my servant; as also many others of my\n    servants, from the beginning of the creation until this time;\n    and in nothing did they sin, save in those things which they\n    received not of me.\n\n    15. David\u2019s wives and concubines were given unto him of me, by\n    the hand of Nathan, my servant, and others of the prophets who\n    had the keys of this power; and in none of these things did he\n    sin against me, save in the case of Uriah and his wife; and\n    therefore, he hath fallen from his exaltation, and received his\n    portion; and he shall not inherit them out of the world; for I\n    gave them unto another, saith the Lord.\n\n    16. I am the Lord thy God, and I gave unto thee, my servant\n    Joseph, an appointment, and restore all things.... I have\n    conferred upon you the keys and power of the priesthood,\n    wherein I restore all things, and make known unto you all\n    things, in due time.\n\n    17. And verily, verily I say unto you, that whosoever you\n    seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you\n    bind on earth, in my name, and by my word, saith the Lord, if\n    shall be eternally bound in the heavens; and whosoever sins\n    you remit on earth shall be remitted eternally in the heavens;\n    and whosesoever sins you retain on earth shall be retained in\n    heaven.\n\n    18. And again, verily I say, whomsoever you bless I will bless,\n    and whomsoever you curse I will curse, saith the Lord; for I,\n    the Lord, am thy God.\n\n    19. And again, verily I say unto you, my servant Joseph, that\n    whatsoever you give on earth, and to whomsoever you give any\n    one on earth, by my word, and according to my law, it shall be\n    visited with blessings.\n\n    ...\n\n    20. Verily I say unto you, a commandment I give unto mine\n    handmaid Emma Smith, your wife ... let mine handmaid Emma Smith\n    receive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph,\n    and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not\n    pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith\n    the Lord God!... I give unto my servant Joseph, that he shall\n    be made ruler over many things, for he hath been faithful over\n    a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.\n\n    21. And I command mine handmaid Emma Smith to abide and cleave\n    unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not\n    abide this commandment, she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord;\n    for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide\n    not in my law; but if she will not abide this commandment,\n    then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he\n    hath said; and I will bless him, and multiply him, and give\n    unto him a hundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers,\n    brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children,\n    and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds. And again,\n    verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant Joseph his\n    trespasses, and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses,\n    wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God,\n    will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to rejoice.\n\n    ...\n\n    24. And again, as pertaining to the law of the priesthood: If\n    any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and\n    the first give her consent; and if he espouse the second, and\n    they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then is he\n    justified. He cannot commit adultery, for they are given him;\n    for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto\n    him, and to none else; and if he have ten virgins given unto\n    him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to\n    him; and they are given unto him\u2014therefore is he justified.\n    But if one or other of the ten virgins, after she is espoused,\n    shall be with another man, she has committed adultery, and\n    shall be destroyed; for they are given unto him to multiply and\n    replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfil\n    the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation\n    of the world; and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds,\n    that they may bear the souls of men; for herein is the work of\n    my Father continued, that he may be glorified.\n\n    25. And again, verily, verily I say unto you, if any man has\n    a wife who holds the keys of this power, and he teaches unto\n    her the law of my priesthood, as pertaining to these things,\n    then shall she believe and administer unto him, or she shall\n    be destroyed, saith the Lord your God; for I will destroy her;\n    for I will magnify my name upon all those who receive and\n    abide in my law. Therefore it shall be lawful in me, if she\n    receive not this law, for him to receive all things whatsoever\n    I, the Lord his God, will give unto him, because she did not\n    believe and administer unto him, according to my word; and she\n    then becomes the transgressor, and he is exempt from the law\n    of Sarah, who administered unto Abraham according to the law,\n    when I commanded Abraham to take Hagar to wife. And now, as\n    pertaining to this law: Verily, verily I say unto you, I will\n    reveal more unto you hereafter; therefore, let this suffice for\n    the present. Behold, I am Alpha and Omega. Amen....\n\nAnd this was the Revelation!\u2014this mass of confusion, cunning absurdity,\nand falsehood. _This_ was the celebrated document which was henceforth\nto be law to the confiding men and women who had embraced Mormonism!\nLooking at it now\u2014noting its inconsistencies and its flagrant outrage\nupon common decency and morality, I can hardly credit that I should ever\nhave been such a silly dupe as to give it a second thought. And yet, what\n_could_ I do? I was bound hand and foot, as it were, and my very vision\nitself was distorted. Unquestioning obedience, we had been taught, was\nthe highest virtue; rebellion was as the sin of witchcraft. I had been\nconvinced of the truth of some of the tenets of the Mormon faith; and\nconfident in them, I accepted without question all the rest. Never,\ntill the possibility that polygamy might some day be acknowledged by\nthe Church, began to be whispered among the Saints\u2014never did a solitary\ndoubt respecting my religion intrude itself upon my mind; and after my\napprehensions were fairly aroused by those rumours, whenever I felt the\nfaintest shadow of unbelief or suspicion arising in my heart, I banished\nit as an unholy thing. The time had not yet come when I could judge\ndispassionately: the Revelation aroused within me feelings of horror\nand dismay, but I did not dare to question its authenticity. It brought\nbitterness to my soul, but I believed it was from God, and that I must\nlearn to bear the cross patiently.\n\nI did not at that time read the document through from beginning to end.\nNo; my indignation was such that before I had read half of it I threw\nit from me in anger. Perhaps if I had read it all, and considered it\ncarefully, my own judgment and my sense of right and wrong might have\npointed out its absurdity and wickedness. But I was far from being\ntranquil enough to think calmly. I felt bitterly that this new doctrine\nwas a degradation to woman, and I wondered why God should see fit to\nhumiliate my sex in this way. I was willing to devote myself, my life, my\nall to His service, but wherefore should He doom me to everlasting sorrow?\n\nWhat now was to be a woman\u2019s lot among the Mormons? A life without\nhope! Who can express the terrible meaning of those words\u2014_without\nhope_? Yet so it was. Hereafter our hearts were to be daily and hourly\ntrampled upon; the most sacred feelings of our sex were to be outraged,\nour affections were to be crushed. Henceforth we were to be nothing by\nourselves; without a husband, we were told, we could not even enter\nheaven! But had our trials been limited to this life we might have borne\nthem, as many a weary soul has done, waiting for the relief of death.\nBut death was to bring no hope to us; we were told that in the other\nworld polygamy should be the only order of marriage, and that without it\nnone could be exalted in glory. We were told these things by men who we\nbelieved were true and holy men of God; and we trusted in them.\n\nRebellious I felt, indeed, as I paced the room after I had thrown the\nRevelation on the ground: I almost felt as if I should lose my reason.\nA woman in the time of trouble always looks to some one in whom she can\nconfide; but to whom could I turn for one kind or cheering word? _who_\nwould comfort me? I had neither relation nor friend to whom I could\nspeak of _this_ trial; there was no one who could understand me. I could\nnot turn to my husband in _this_ sorrow, and I dared not even kneel to\nmy God to implore His aid. It was He, they said, who had declared this\nRevelation was His will; how then could I turn to Him? No; my heart sank\nwithin me; henceforth there was to be no hope, no peace, for me!\n\nThere was a knock at my chamber door, and my husband came in. He knew how\nacutely I must feel, and he came to comfort me. I was almost choked with\nemotion and tears, but he threw his arms round me tenderly, and spoke to\nme as if I had been a child that needed consolation. He tried to persuade\nme that God as a loving Father could never have intended the pain or\nmisery of His children, and that when we came to understand the doctrine\nbetter, we should find that all would be well. He spoke also of his own\nunchanging attachment; and appealed to me whether I thought he could ever\nlove me less, or place his affections on another.\n\nI tried to believe, and when I felt a little better I went with him to\nthe breakfast-room, where the others were waiting for us.\n\nWe were not a very entertaining party that morning. The Elders present\nof course knew what had kept me in my room, and their attempt at\ncheerfulness was not very successful. My husband was in sympathy with me,\nand I have no doubt that I looked sad enough. There was only one person\npresent who did not appreciate the situation\u2014Monsieur Petitpierre, the\nProtestant minister\u2014and they handed the Revelation to him. Mr. Stenhouse\nand the other Elders had some misgivings as to how he would receive it,\nand they were afraid it might disgust him with Mormonism. But the old\ngentleman stood the test bravely; and I saw then, as I have seen since,\nthat men can be easily satisfied that the Revelation on Polygamy, or _any\nother_ revelation, is divine, if they desire, it to be so.\n\nHere was old Monsieur Petitpierre, a man of more than threescore years,\nand childless. To him the example of Abraham and Solomon appeared most\ninstructive\u2014an example which might be followed with advantage. His wife,\nlike Sarah of old, had never been called by a mother\u2019s name; and now,\nalthough thus far he had no idea who might act the part of a second\nHagar, there seemed a fair chance that a little Ishmael might perpetuate\nthe race of Petitpierres on earth, if only the Revelation was acted upon\nby the faithful.\n\n\u201cIt ought to be prayerfully thought of,\u201d he said.\n\nPrayerfully thought of! Poor, silly old man! Before then I had respect\nfor his years and learning; but now\u2014what could I think of a man who\ntalked such nonsense? Had the Revelation told him that the wife of\nhis youth, now tottering in step, and with hair silvered by age, was\ncommanded to take two or a dozen young husbands\u2014I wondered whether he\nwould have added with such satisfaction \u201cIt ought to be prayerfully\nthought of!\u201d\n\nFrom that day I learned to regard polygamy as an essential part of the\nMormon faith, and such for many years the world has considered it; but\nwhen I first joined the church, such an innovation would have appeared to\nthe European Saints beyond the wildest fancies of a dream.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IX.\n\nMISSIONARY WORK\u2014TEACHING POLYGAMY.\n\n\nI now entered upon a new phase of my missionary life; the Elders assured\nme that it was my duty to teach polygamy to the women of Switzerland.\n\nHitherto, although I had suffered much from poverty and privation, my\nwork as a missionary had been very pleasant. I believed with my whole\nheart all that I taught, and my best wishes for the people around me were\nthat they might become altogether such as I was, except in my sufferings.\n\nNow, however, all this was changed. It was no longer salvation through\nfaith in Christ, or repentance, or baptism; it was no longer love and\npeace for this world, and the promise of everlasting joy in the world to\ncome, that I was called upon to teach. My task hitherto had been a labour\nof love; now it was to be a weary work of pain. How could I teach the\nsisters, the affection of whose guileless hearts I had won to myself\u2014how\ncould I teach them that which my own heart abhorred, a doctrine which I\nhated with my whole soul!\n\nHow I strove against my rebellious nature! how I battled with myself!\nThat God had sent the Revelation I never questioned, and all rebellion\nto His will I knew must be sinful. I had no thought of evading the\nresponsibility; my heart must be subdued. It might be subdued; it might\nbe crushed and broken; but I could never again, I felt, be truly happy.\nI tried to reason with myself, and to persuade myself that it was I who\nwas to blame and not the Revelation. If the Lord required me to submit,\nit must be for some good purpose; and I must not refuse the cross\nthat He called upon me to bear. Sometimes for a few moments something\nwould attract my attention and divert my thoughts; but the terrible\nreality\u2014polygamy, refused to be ignored, and I felt all the more bitterly\nafterwards. I never was happy, for life had lost its charm to me. Ere I\nslept at night one dreadful thought was haunting my pillow\u2014it disturbed\nmy very dreams; and when I awoke in the morning, it was with a feverish\napprehension of coming evil hanging over me. All through the long, weary\nday it haunted my footsteps like a spectre; and like a fearful blight\nthat had fallen upon me, it seemed to be withering my soul. One thought\nwas ever present in my mind\u2014that thought, polygamy!\n\nIt can be no wonder that I lost all interest in life, and that I should\nalmost wish to die rather than live that life of degradation which I\ndreaded would be mine. But death flies from those who woo her; the\nwretched, the weary, the hopeless, they find her not. I felt that there\nwas no rest for me. My only comfort was in my children; no revelation, I\nfelt, could change their relationship to me. But over my little daughter\nClara I mourned, for I thought if this revelation were acted upon by\nthe Saints, as doubtless it would be, she would some day be called upon\nto suffer as I did. How little did I then, however, anticipate in what\nway my fears would be realized! My Clara became the daughter-in-law of\nBrigham Young, having married his eldest son, Joseph A. Young.\n\nI am afraid at that time I was somewhat of a trial to my husband, for\nmy heart was not yet quite subdued. I grew impatient at the wrong which\nI felt had been done to me, and I often said bitter things against the\nProphet of the Lord and all his sex, including my husband, who was then,\nand for years after, a devoted Mormon, and was quite horrified at what\nI said. He often told me that I was a great hindrance to him, and that\nit was impossible for any one who lived with me to enjoy the Spirit of\nGod\u2014and I was afraid that he only spoke the truth.\n\nThen I repented, and sought to chasten myself; and I fasted and prayed,\nand asked forgiveness of God and my husband. But even when most subdued\nI was as unhappy as ever, and some one was sure to say something which\nreminded me of my trouble; and whenever the elders came to the house they\nwere sure to discuss the one painful topic. Then my indignant feelings\nall came back again, and I felt the spirit of rebellion stirring within\nme. I could not help it, for I felt that woman\u2019s nature itself was\ninsulted by the degrading doctrine, and any mention of it excited my\nanger.\n\nMy husband and the Elders had anticipated that I would not readily\nsubmit, and they bore with me as patiently as they could, losing no\nopportunity of strengthening me in the faith, ever keeping before me the\nobligation that rested upon me in particular to explain the doctrine\nto the Swiss sisters. They knew very well that nothing tends more to\nconfirm the faith of the wavering than setting them to teach others.\nBrigham Young has always acted on this principle, and whenever any of the\nbrethren have evinced signs of doubt or disaffection they have been at\nonce despatched on a mission. Their efforts to convert others established\ntheir own faith.\n\nAmong the Swiss we had never spoken on polygamy or any kindred subject,\nand we were therefore spared the humiliation which the British Elders\nexperienced in having to retract their own teachings. Nevertheless,\nMr. Stenhouse and the other Elders felt great anxiety as to how the\nnew doctrine would be received. My husband did not at once openly tell\nthem that such a Revelation had been sent from Zion; but whenever an\nopportunity presented he took them aside singly, and spoke to them\nabout the ancient patriarchs who practised polygamy; and so great was\nhis influence with the converts that he soon won them over to the\nnew teaching, and made them feel that they would not be justified\nin rejecting the Revelation. Many of the Swiss Saints before their\nconversion had been more Socialists than Christians, and they probably\nthought that this change in the marriage institution was a sign of\nadvancing intellectual supremacy; but their wives were very far from\nsharing these opinions with them.\n\nAfter many days and nights of prayer and fasting I prepared myself for\nmy work. To a certain extent I had brought my own self under control\u2014or\nI thought I had; and I almost felt anxious to begin, so that I might get\nover the painful scenes which I fully anticipated. It was agreed that\nMadame Balif, of whom I have already spoken as being rather sceptical\nwhen my child recovered from her critical condition, should be the first\nto whom the intelligence should be imparted, for it was thought that if\nshe accepted this Revelation without much difficulty, the other sisters\nwould be more easily won over. She was a well educated and intelligent\nwoman, and had seen a good deal of the world. She had met her husband\nwhile travelling in Russia, had married him, and they had returned to\ntheir native land. She was in every respect a lady, but she was a spoilt\nchild, and had her whims; and she possessed a great influence over the\nminds of the other sisters. On this account it was that she was selected\nas the victim to whom should be first imparted the mysteries of the\nRevelation, for it was thought that whatever reception she might give to\npolygamy, her views would greatly influence the conduct of the rest.\n\nAs I before mentioned, Madame Balif and her husband were models of\naffection to one another, and it seemed to me quite a sin that I should\nintroduce into such a household a doctrine which could only produce\ndisunion and misery. I had, however, schooled my heart to what I thought\nwas my duty, and I strove to smother the rebellion rising within me. But,\nafter all, it seemed to me hardly fair that I should be selected for this\npainful task. These husbands had not courage enough, or were ashamed, to\ntell their own wives about this wonderful Revelation; and so I, a weak\nwoman, hating in my heart the doctrine as much as a woman could hate\u2014_I_\nwas chosen to introduce this pleasant subject, and to persuade those I\nloved to their own ruin. I had had it all fully explained to me, and I\nthoroughly understood the _beauties_ of the system in the sight of the\nelders, and what they considered the strong points in the Revelation;\u2014but\nit is miserable work to try to convince others of a thing that you\nyourself detest.\n\nOne day, quite unexpectedly to her, they had told Madame Balif that a new\nRevelation had been sent from Zion, and that I would explain it to her;\nthen Monsieur Balif left the house, and remained absent until the wife\nwhom he so devotedly loved should have heard this new thing.\n\nMadame Balif came down stairs singing, in her usual gay spirits, little\nexpecting what she was going to hear; and when she came to me I felt so\nunfitted for my task that I dared not look her straight in the face,\nalthough she was my dearest friend, and I had such an affection for her.\nI stood there, pale and trembling, and she thought that I was not well. I\nwas not indeed well; I was sick at heart. Never before had the face of a\nfriend been so unwelcome.\n\nShe asked me what it was that I had to tell her; and when I hesitatingly\ndenied having wanted to speak to her at all, she said she knew there must\nbe something, as her husband had told her so.\n\nI hesitated still; but at last found courage, and told her all. It was a\ncruel task to impose upon me. Day after day I had observed her and her\nhusband, I had noticed their deep affection; had seen her watching at the\nwindow for his return; and he would come with a little offering of choice\nfruit or flowers; and I thought no woman could be happier than Madame\nBalif. And now for me to so cruelly awaken them from their dream of bliss!\n\nShe sat and listened eagerly as I told my story; and when at length\nshe began to understand what was meant by it, she thought that I must\nbe playing some unseasonable joke upon her, and showed as much in her\ncountenance. But when she saw that I really was in earnest, she sprang\nup, and cried out, \u201cOh, my God! what a beastly religion! How dared your\nhusband and you come to us Swiss with such a religion as that?\u201d My eyes\nsank before her as she turned on me with mingled rage and disgust, as if\nshe would wither me with her contemptuous looks. I felt as humbled as if\nI myself had been the author of the Revelation.\n\n\u201cAnd does my Serge believe this?\u201d she cried.\n\nI assured her that he did believe it, and she paced the room, to and\nfro, as if she would go crazy; my heart ached for her. She gave way to\na perfect storm of rage, and then sobbed and cried like a child who had\nlost its mother. I was silent, for I knew how she must feel, and I felt\nthat she would be relieved by tears. I had gone through the trial all\nalone, without one word from a woman\u2019s heart that could reach my own.\nAnd I tried to comfort her. I remembered how I had felt myself, and I\nbelieved that thus it was now with her. In an instant, when I first\nrealized that polygamy had anything to do with me, just as I have heard\nit said of dying men, all my past life rushed to my remembrance, and\nevery word or deed of love therein, stood out in brightest reality.\nThus I doubted not it was with my friend. Every tender word which her\nhusband had ever uttered; every loving deed he had ever done, came to her\nrecollection with a ten-fold dearness as she realized the horrors which\nawaited her in the future.\n\nHow little did we either of us imagine the story she would afterwards\ntell me in Utah!\n\nI tried to soothe her, and she threw her arms passionately round me, and\npressed me to her throbbing heart, and wept again. She thought of her\nhusband and her little girls. But with all her fears she dreamed not\nhow miserable was the life before her in poverty and polygamy. She was\nherself handsome in form and fair in feature; and, in the full enjoyment\nof all that could be desired in her sphere of life, she was as happy as a\nyouthful wife could be. She pictured to herself a time\u2014not now, her Serge\nloved her too truly _now_\u2014when her husband might cast his eyes upon some\nblooming damsel, younger than she was _then_, and might begin to take a\nnearer interest in polygamy. She pictured him bestowing on the youthful\nbeauty the love and tenderness which he had always bestowed on _her_; how\nhis affections would die out towards her; how her heart would be desolate\nand alone!\n\nI took her hand in mine and spoke very gently to her; and when she was\ncalmer, I talked to her more freely. We found now, as we tried to look\nour common enemy in the face, how strong a hold Mormonism had taken of\nus; and it is in this that persons unacquainted with the Saints have so\ngreatly misjudged the women of Utah; they know how small a hold such a\nreligion\u2014now they look upon Mormonism and polygamy as identical\u2014would\nhave upon them; and they forget how all-absorbing was our faith in\nMormonism _without_ polygamy. We confided not wisely, but too well.\n\nHad polygamy been an invention of our husbands, or a system which they\ncapriciously adopted, we might have been grieved, but we should have\nknown how to act, for we were in a Christian country, where women had\nrights as well as men; it was our own hearts which were traitors to us.\nWe had been taught to regard Abraham and Jacob, and David and Solomon as\ntypes of holiness, as men who were fit objects for imitation; and now it\nwas proved to us, from Scripture, that these men were polygamists, and\nyet were blessed by God; and we were called upon to follow their example.\nThus we tried to crush out the remembrance of our own womanhood. Had\nwe but followed the light of reason which God had given for our guide,\nwe should have trampled in the dust that vile burlesque upon the holy\nreligion of Jesus called a \u201cRevelation upon Celestial Marriage.\u201d As it\nwas, the religious teachings which we had received, both before and after\nwe embraced Mormonism, alike combined to blind us to the truth.\n\nIn this state of mind we knelt, and prayed for the Lord to increase our\nfaith in that very doctrine which in our hearts we cursed and hated; and\non our knees we wept again; and natural feelings of repugnance mingled\nwith an earnest struggle to submit to the will of God. Madame Balif had\nnot so much faith in Mormonism as I had, and she had consequently less\nto trouble her in that respect; but she loved her husband, and she knew\nthat he was determined to go to Zion as soon as he could; and then not\nonly would all the luxuries of a happy home be sacrificed, but all her\nanticipations of the future were overshadowed by a terrible apprehension.\nThus we were equally troubled, though I had to endure most, as the task\nof teaching fell upon me. I did at last manage to persuade her not to\noffer any active opposition to the Revelation, but I could not satisfy\nher that all was right. She even went so far as to promise to try to\novercome her own feelings, for if it was really true she did not wish\nto be found fighting against the Lord. She had, however, hardly ceased\nspeaking when the thought of her little daughters crossed her mind, and\nonce more she paced the room like an enraged tigress, declaring angrily\nthat \u201cno vile polygamist should ever possess either of her sweet girls.\u201d\nI had felt like this for my own darling Clara.\n\nI had now a companion in misery, some one who could sympathize with me.\nEven had my husband detested the doctrine as I did, he could not have\ncomforted me as a woman and a mother could. My poor friend could feel as\nI felt, and her sympathy was very dear to me; misery loves companionship;\nwe were sisters in affliction. Not only so, Madame Balif declared that\nthis painful task should not rest on me alone; she would help me in\nspeaking to the sisters. Thus we helped each other in the time of our\ntrouble.\n\nIt must have been about this time that I received another letter from\nMary Burton. The postmark is quite indistinct, but a week or two one way\nor the other does not signify much. In her usual quick and impulsive way,\nshe gave me _her_ views of the \u201cbeauties\u201d of polygamy, and perhaps the\nreader would like to hear what she said.\n\n    \u201c ... I am very miserable, Sister Stenhouse, and furiously\n    indignant. I little thought when I last wrote to you that I\n    should have such news to tell; but I suppose you know it all\n    without my saying a word. How we all felt when we first learned\n    that polygamy was true, no words of mine can describe; we\n    hardly dared look one another in the face. Let me tell you how\n    it was.\n\n    \u201cOne night, quite late, Elder Shrewsbury came round in a hurry,\n    and asked to see me. I went down into the parlour to meet him,\n    and Mrs. Elsworth came down also, and remained until he went\n    away. Elder Shrewsbury looked very strange that night, just\n    like a man who had been doing something wrong and was ashamed\n    of it.\n\n    \u201cHe excused himself for coming so late, but he said he had\n    only just received some important news, and could not rest\n    until he had seen us. He had been round at the Conference\n    house, and had there seen a good many of the Elders. They\n    were all talking earnestly upon the same subject, for that\n    day they had received, not only letters from the apostle at\n    Liverpool, but also copies of the _Millennial Star_, with the\n    Revelation in it, which I suppose you have seen. Of course it\n    was impossible for them to doubt any longer, but most of them\n    felt it was a cruel blow. Elder Shrewsbury said they looked at\n    one another, but did not dare to speak. Nearly all of them\n    had been anxiously trying to get rid of the false scandal, as\n    they supposed the accusation of polygamy to be; and in public\n    in their sermons, and in private to all the weak brethren, they\n    had over and over again solemnly declared that polygamy was\n    unheard of among the Saints, that it was a Gentile lie; and\n    they had proved from the Bible, and from the Book of Mormon,\n    that a doctrine so sinful could never be believed or practised\n    by God\u2019s people.\n\n    \u201cNow all this would be thrown in their teeth. Those who\n    hated Mormonism would revile them for it, and, worse still,\n    the Saints themselves would despise and doubt them for the\n    falsehoods which many of them had innocently told. Who could\n    tell where all this would end? When they were found to have\n    been deceived in a matter like polygamy, about which it was so\n    easy to arrive at facts and certainty, who would trust them\n    concerning other doctrines, which depended upon their veracity\n    and testimony alone?\n\n    \u201cThen, too, there was worse to be said about the American\n    elders and apostles. Who could believe that Orson Pratt or\n    Lorenzo Snow knew nothing of polygamy? And yet they denied it\n    in the most solemn way. And, oh, Sister Stenhouse, think of the\n    Apostle Taylor calling God to witness his truth when he proved\n    from the Book of Covenants that there was no such thing as\n    polygamy: and all the while he had himself _five_ wives in Salt\n    Lake City!\n\n    \u201cElder Shrewsbury told us all this, but he spoke slowly and\n    disjointedly, like a man whose mind is troubled. He said he\n    hardly knew what he was doing. Then he gave Mrs. Elsworth\n    a copy of the _Star_, and he asked me, too, to read the\n    Revelation carefully before I condemned it.\n\n    \u201c\u2018If the Revelation, as you call it, allows polygamy,\u2019 I\n    exclaimed, \u2018I hate and despise it, and you, and Mormonism, and\n    all!\u2019 I was quite in a fury, and I _did_ feel as if I hated him\n    then.\n\n    \u201cHe did not answer me; he seemed too cut up to utter a word;\n    but I did not pity him. I felt that men who would write such a\n    revelation as that for their own wicked purposes deserved all\n    the hatred which the cruellest heart could muster up; they were\n    loathesome to any pure-minded woman. As he was about to leave\n    he said mournfully, \u2018Sister Mary, I know you have good cause\n    for anger; but be just. I have been just as much deceived as\n    ever you have been. It has unsettled all my faith; even our\n    best and most tried missionaries are shrinking from it. Do not\n    blame me for what I have not done. I never deceived you about\n    it.\u2019\n\n    \u201cI did not answer him; and after a few moments he said, \u2018Mary,\n    I want to speak to you _alone_ about these things. Can I see\n    you, to-morrow evening, if I call?\u2019\n\n    \u201c\u2018I wish you would not call me Mary any more, Elder\n    Shrewsbury,\u2019 I said; \u2018it is too familiar _now_. We have been\n    far too friendly; but, thank God, I have found out in time, and\n    know how to act.\u2019 He went away looking most miserable. Then I\n    went to my own room, and tried to think the matter out. If I\n    were married, as you are, Sister Stenhouse, and if my husband\n    believed in the Revelation, I think I should go crazy. As it\n    was, I felt it terribly. You know, dear, I told you that I\n    _liked_ Elder Shrewsbury very well, but nothing more. Well,\n    that was very true _then_, but now I know that it was not all\n    the truth. I take care that he shall never know what I think of\n    him, but I know that he is not the same to me as other people.\n    I do not think I love him; no, I\u2019m sure I don\u2019t _now_; but I\n    do feel a great deal of interest in him. That night, however,\n    I felt very mad at him. That he had been deceived, I knew, and\n    also that he must have felt sorry for having deceived me; and,\n    if he cares for me, he must have felt uneasy for what I might\n    say or do, now the doctrine was proclaimed.\n\n    \u201cWell, the more I thought of it, the more angry I became, and\n    I couldn\u2019t sleep all night. The next morning I wrote a little\n    note to Elder Shrewsbury, saying that after all that had\n    happened I had fully resolved not to see him again. Many of my\n    friends, I said, were married, and could not help themselves,\n    but I both could and would. The Mormon sisters I should ever\n    pity and love; but as for the Mormon men, I would never have\n    anything to do with one of them as long as I lived. I did not\n    want to be unkind to him personally, but I really could not\n    trust any one now.\n\n    \u201cThen I showed this note to Mrs. Elsworth, and asked her to\n    give it to Elder Shrewsbury that night when he came.\n\n    \u201cHe came, of course, and he came again and again; but I would\n    not see him; and I did not even go to the meetings for fear of\n    coming across him there. He had long talks with Mrs. Elsworth,\n    and tried to get her to interfere, and at last he sent me a\n    long letter, entreating me not to refuse him. I was cooler now;\n    and when Mrs. Elsworth said I ought at least to see him, even\n    if I dismissed him then, I agreed to do so, and the next night\n    he came.\n\n    \u201cHe was very humble that night. You know what torrents of\n    eloquence he pours forth about anything that interests him,\n    and how earnest he is. But then all his eloquence had fled. He\n    hesitated and blundered, until I really quite pitied him. He\n    came and sat by me, and would have taken my hand, but I would\n    not let him. He did not tell me that he loved me, but he spoke\n    as if I were conscious of the fact; and you know, of course, I\n    couldn\u2019t help feeling that he cared for me, whether he spoke\n    about it or not. He assured me over and over again that though\n    he had often heard the scandal, as I had done, he did not for\n    a moment believe it; he said that he should _never_ himself\n    act up to the Revelation; that if he loved, it should be an\n    undivided and all-absorbing love; that he would rather have\n    less glory in eternity, with _one_ whom he could idolize, than\n    obey the Revelation on Polygamy, and obtain a higher position.\n\n    \u201cAll this time he hardly once looked at me, but when I did\n    see his eyes, they seemed very sorrowful and very earnest. I\n    confess to you that what he said made me feel very differently\n    for him. For a man of his ability and talents, who has such an\n    influence, and wins so much respect from every one he meets, to\n    be sitting there all bashful, like a naughty child, before a\n    young girl like me, and all because he loved me, made me feel\n    for him a pity which was very near to love.\n\n    \u201cI told him that I had quite resolved, now that polygamy was\n    acknowledged, never to see him again, except as I might see\n    the other elders at meeting. I said I believed I was still a\n    good Mormon, as Mormons used to be; but I would never receive\n    polygamy, or be more than an ordinary friend to any one who did\n    believe it.\n\n    \u201cAfter that I only saw him at the meeting. And, oh dear! you\n    should see what meetings we have now! Half the people don\u2019t\n    attend, and everything is so cold and lifeless. Some of our\n    most earnest elders never come; and it is said among the\n    brethren that polygamy will produce the greatest apostasy which\n    the church has ever seen. Every one seems ashamed of it.\n\n    \u201cAnd now, dear, I have written you a terrible long letter, but\n    you must please forgive me, for I have no one to whom I can\n    open my heart except to you. Kiss the babies, please, for me;\n    and write soon to your most affectionately loving,\n\n                                                    \u201cMARY BURTON.\u201d\n\nPoor girl! I said, as I folded up her letter; but it is better for her\nto suffer a little now, than for her to have been married first, as I\nwas, and then, when too late to go back, to have polygamy announced as an\narticle of faith.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER X.\n\nMORMONISM IN ENGLAND\u2014PREPARING TO EMIGRATE.\n\n\nIt was fortunate for the Swiss mission that the new converts in general\ncould not read any language but their own, and thus were ignorant of the\ndeceptions which the American Elders had practised upon the people.\n\nMonsieur Petitpierre, the Protestant minister who thought that the\nRevelation ought to be \u201cprayerfully considered,\u201d was the only one who\nunderstood English, and his knowledge was very limited. His wife did not\nat all coincide with him about the prayerful consideration of polygamy;\nshe disposed of the subject without any prayer at all; and it is to be\nregretted that in this respect the whole body of the Mormon women did not\nfollow her example.\n\nWhat arguments she used I do not know; but that they were very much to\nthe point no one can doubt, for they banished for ever all thoughts of\npolygamy from her husband\u2019s mind. It was said among the Saints that she\nwas very energetic in her private discussions with her husband. But\nhowever this might be, it is certain that Monsieur Petitpierre resisted\nas long as he could, for the Revelation quite fascinated the childless\nold man; and it is possible that he might have held fast to the faith,\nbut unfortunately, just then certain documents and publications of\nthe apostles, and a very large amount of evidence respecting them and\ntheir doings, attracted his attention. He was in the main a good and\ntruthful man, although of small mental calibre, and the deceptions and\ncontradictions which he discovered quite disgusted him. His wife\u2019s strong\npersonal arguments gave the finishing blow to his faith, and the spell\nwas broken. The vision of a modern Hagar and a little Ishmael vanished\nfrom his mind; he apostatised\u2014and Mr. Stenhouse lost the services of a\nvery useful translator.\n\nWhen I heard that he had left the church, how I wished that I could have\nfollowed in his footsteps! But apostasy from Mormonism is only possible\nto two classes\u2014the young disciple, who has embraced the faith more from\nenthusiasm than from conviction, whose experience is limited; and the old\ndisciple, who has entirely outgrown it, and has become disgusted with it\nall.\n\nI was neither of these. My faith was too firmly grounded to admit of my\ngiving it up. Though I hated polygamy, I did not dare to question the\ndivinity of its origin. I only pitied myself and my sex for the burden\nwhich God had seen fit to place upon us. I never for a moment supposed\nthat any man would have been so wicked as to fabricate a \u201cRevelation,\u201d or\nso blasphemous as to palm it off in the name of the Lord.\n\nOh yes, I hated polygamy in my heart. And my efforts in teaching it only\nincreased my hatred; for when I was gravely told by the Elders that\nwoman had been cursed in the garden of Eden, and that polygamy was one\nof the results of that curse\u2014\u201cher desire shall be unto her husband, and\n_he shall rule over her_!\u201d\u2014I must confess that my heart within me was\nrebellious. From my earliest childhood I had thought of God as a father\nand a friend, to whom I might go and tell all my griefs and cares; but\nnow He was presented to me as a hard taskmaster, not as a father or a\nfriend.\n\nI met with much kindness, but I did not meet with much sympathy from\nthe brethren. They could not understand that opposition to polygamy was\nanything else than selfishness on the part of the sisters; they did not\ncomprehend the feelings of a woman\u2019s heart\u2014its craving for some object\nupon which to devote its whole wealth of love. They were taught that\ntheirs was a nobler position than that of the sisters, and that women\nmight consider themselves sufficiently honoured in being allowed to\nbecome the mothers of their children, and to help in building up _their_\n\u201ckingdom.\u201d\n\nOf my missionary work in Switzerland subsequent to the introduction of\npolygamy I will say but little, except that it was too successful. The\nsame sorrow and indignation which Madame Balif had so forcibly expressed,\nwere shown by almost every new convert, and I had to bear the blame of\nteaching such a doctrine. The sisters became unhappy, and wished that\nthey had died in ignorance of Mormonism; and I felt humbled to the\ndust to think that I should be the innocent cause of so much misery to\nothers. I looked anxiously for a change; but the only change which seemed\nprobable was that we might be permitted to emigrate to Utah\u2014and there was\nno comfort for me in that prospect.\n\nWe remained in Switzerland until the close of the year 1854, and through\nthe unremitting efforts of my husband Mormonism was introduced into six\ncantons of the Confederation. Monsieur Balif became an indefatigable\nmissionary, as was also Governor Stoudeman; and to their liberality and\nzeal Mr. Stenhouse was greatly indebted. With the aid of Monsieur Balif,\nhe established in Geneva a monthly periodical in the French language, for\nthe edification of the Saints, besides publishing a book in reply to the\nattacks of the clergy, and many minor effusions.\n\nAt that time there was great excitement among the Saints in Utah.\nBrigham Young and his apostles were denouncing the Gentiles in the most\nunmeasured language. As I write, a volume of sermons delivered at that\ntime is before me, and I really can hardly credit that so much ridiculous\nnonsense, bad grammar, and blasphemy, could ever have been uttered in a\npublic place of worship\u2014yet it was so. The Saints were told that in these\nlast times all the vials of the wrath of God were about to be poured\nupon the earth; wars and desolations, anarchy and persecution, fire,\npestilence, and unheard of horrors, were to desolate all the world, until\nmen should call upon the rocks to hide them, and in the bitterness of\ntheir souls curse the day in which they were born; death was to be sought\nfor, but not found. Believing, as they did, that all this was true, it\nis no wonder that the Saints in Europe were alarmed, and became anxious\nto emigrate to Utah, where they were told they would be safe. A seven\nyears\u2019 famine was said to be at the door, when a sack of wheat should be\nsold for a sack of gold, and Gentile kings and princes were to come and\ncrouch to the Saints for a morsel of bread. The very women in Zion were\ncounselled to sell the ribbons from their bonnets, to buy flour with the\nproceeds, and to hide it away against the day of wrath.\n\nThe brethren and sisters in Switzerland who could dispose of their\nproperty hastened to \u201cflee to Zion.\u201d Some did so at a ruinous sacrifice.\nOne gentleman, a Monsieur Robella, I knew, who was part proprietor of a\nnewspaper and printing establishment. In a very short time it would have\nbeen entirely in his own hands; but he sold out at a great loss, dreading\nthat the storm might overtake him before he reached the \u201cchambers of the\nLord in the mountains,\u201d as the Elders called Salt Lake City.\n\nThe journey from Europe to Utah at that time occupied six or eight\nmonths; it was a very tedious pilgrimage. My Swiss friends had first to\ntravel to Liverpool; thence by sailing vessel to New Orleans; by steamer\nup the Mississippi as far as St. Louis; up the Missouri to the frontiers;\nand then across the plains by ox-teams. Much of this distance had to be\ntravelled during the worst part of the year. They left their homes while\nthe Jura mountains were still draped in snow; and those who escaped the\nravages of cholera and the perils of the ways, reached their destination\njust as the frosts of winter were beginning to whiten the hoary heads of\nthe hills which stand about Zion.\n\nAll the Swiss pilgrims travelled together until they arrived at St.\nLouis; there they separated, one party going up the river, and the other\nmaking the journey overland. The cholera attacked the latter party,\nand cut off the greater number of them, and their bones now whiten the\nprairie.\n\nThe news of their death soon arrived in Switzerland, and the people at\nLausanne were exasperated against the Mormon missionaries; and when my\nhusband visited that place he found it prudent not to remain long. At\nthe same time those of the Saints whose relations had perished in the\nemigration were pained to hear that it was because they \u201chad not obeyed\ncounsel,\u201d and gone up the river with the other party, that they fell by\nthe way. And, as if in mockery of this statement, the next news that we\nreceived was that a Missouri steamer, on board of which were many Mormon\nmissionaries\u2014all most obedient to counsel\u2014had been blown to atoms. Many\nof the Saints began to consider these things, and their love waxed cold.\n\nThrough all this our position was anything but pleasant, and my husband\napplied for permission to be released from the presidency of the Swiss\nand Italian missions, in order that he might \u201cgather to Zion.\u201d His\nrequest was granted; and in the autumn of 1854 we bade a final adieu to\nSwitzerland.\n\nWe might now be said to have _begun_ our journey to Zion, although we\ntarried long by the way, and several years elapsed before we reached our\ndestination.\n\nWhen we arrived in London we obtained apartments in the house of the\nPresident of the London Conference, and there I had opportunities of\nobserving the effects of the system upon the English Saints. Elder\nMarsden, the president, was a thorough Mormon, and a man who was very\nhighly thought of. He had been acquainted with all the apostles and high\npriests who had resided in Liverpool\u2014the great _rendezvous_ of the\nSaints in England; had been President of the Conference there, and now\noccupied the highest position of the European mission. He was a pleasant,\nintelligent man, who in his day had done much to build up the church;\nbut, like his two predecessors, John Banks and Thomas Margetts, he also\napostatized from the Mormonism of later years. At the time, however, of\nwhich I speak, he was considered to be of good standing among the Saints.\n\nUp to this time I had never seriously doubted my religion, and I probably\nnever should have done so had it not been for the introduction of\npolygamy. But what I saw in London at that time sadly shook my faith,\nand the stories which I heard from Utah quite frightened me. Nothing, of\ncourse, was openly said, and at first I disbelieved every evil report,\nuntil at last it was impossible for me altogether to reject what was\ntold me. The testimony of an apostate or of a Gentile would have been\ndismissed with contempt; but when we saw letters from mothers to their\nchildren, and husbands to their wives\u2014all people of unquestioned faith,\nsetting forth the troubled state of men\u2019s minds in Utah, expressing fears\nfor their own safety, and hinting at \u201ccutting off\u201d the transgressor,\nand the doings of \u201cAvenging Angels,\u201d we could not cast them aside with\ncontempt. My views of the glories of Zion were changing; henceforth I was\nnever firm in the faith; I felt that there was _something_ wrong.\n\nPerhaps the reader may think that now I might have left the church,\nand thus have avoided all those troubles which awaited me in Utah. But\nlet him remember that, although my faith was shaken, it was not wholly\ndestroyed. All that I clung to on earth\u2014my husband, whom I truly loved,\nand my darling children\u2014were part and parcel of Mormonism. I could not\ntear myself from them, and isolate my soul from all that made life worth\nhaving.\n\nMy unsettled state of mind, however, did not long remain a secret. It\nwas spoken of among the Saints, and I became an object of interest. The\npastor over the London and adjoining Conferences was the son of one of\nthe chief apostles in Utah\u2014a young man, whose good nature was far better\nthan his religion. He visited us very frequently, and used to bring\nwith him the distinguished American Elders who might be visiting the\nmetropolis. I have no doubt that they were sincere in their desire to do\nme good; but it was not kind attentions that I then needed, it was the\nremoval of the cause of my sorrows.\n\nThey tried to persuade me that it was all \u201cthe work of the Lord;\u201d but\nI could not see it in that light, and very often in reply to their\nconsolations I said very hard things of polygamy and the leaders of the\nchurch, whose conduct I considered sinful. And in this I did not stand\nalone, for I soon found that the President of the Conference, Elder\nMarsden, had been in the same position for years, and his wife was\n\u201cquite through\u201d with Mormonism. In fact, so great had been the distrust\noccasioned by polygamy, that in the report ending June 30th, 1853, it\nwas stated that from the whole British church, which then numbered very\nnearly 31,000 souls\u20141776 had been excommunicated for apostasy!\n\nOf those who remained faithful I cannot give a much more cheering\naccount. The Elders who visited President Marsden made as damaging\nreports of the condition of the Saints as their worst enemies could\ndesire. All that my young friend, Mary Burton, had told me did not equal\nthe truth of what I saw for myself. No one had any confidence _now_ in\nwhat the Elders said; how could they be trusted after so many years of\ndeception?\n\nThe Elders who visited me and reasoned with me about my want of faith,\ntried to persuade me to be baptized again. Among the Mormons it is\nthe privilege of the faithful to be baptized over and over again, as\noften as may be needed, for the remission of their sins, which are thus\nwashed away, and the penitent is enabled to start afresh. At that time\nof fearful excitement in Utah, called by the Mormons \u201cThe Reformation,\u201d\nwhen people were being exhorted under terrible penalties to confess their\nsins, many were so frightened that they acknowledged themselves guilty\nof crimes of which they had never dreamed, while at the same time many\nhorrible and detestable sins were brought to light. Brigham and the\nleaders found that they were confessing too much\u2014the sinners were far\nmore numerous than the godly. Brigham, with his usual craft, soon found a\nway of escape; the people were told to be baptized again, so that their\nsins being washed away, they could truly say they were not guilty of the\ncrimes of which they might be accused.\n\nI was not convinced, and did not see that I had anything to repent of,\nbut I was quite willing to be re-baptized if it was thought proper.\nAt the same time I stipulated that the President of the Conference,\nElder Marsden, should be baptized with me. I felt that if I required\nre-baptizing, how much more necessary was it for Elder Marsden to have\n_his_ sins washed away also. I partly believed in the fearful stories\nthat I had heard from Zion, but it was _he_ who had shown them to me. The\nPastor of the Conference gave no sign that he suspected my meaning in\nwishing Elder Marsden to be baptized at the same time as I was, though\nI believe he must have formed a pretty shrewd guess. And so we two\nwent down into the water, but I am afraid that little of our sins was\nwashed away. Not long after, President Marsden apostatized, and my heart\nremained as hard as ever. At least I was frequently told so.\n\nPoor Elder Marsden! He was branded with the most opprobrious titles which\nMormon ingenuity or malice could fling against him: and yet I know of\n_many_ men\u2014not one nor two, associated most intimately with Brigham Young\nto-day, whose faith is not a whit stronger than that apostate\u2019s, who\nserve the Prophet because it is their interest to do so, but who in their\nhearts no more believe in his high pretensions than did James Marsden,\nthe President of the London Conference.\n\nMeanwhile, the season for emigration had again arrived, and we were\ndirected to hold ourselves in readiness to start. Although by no means\nunexpected, this \u201ccounsel\u201d to emigrate came very painfully to me,\nfor every step we took towards Utah seemed to bring me nearer to the\nrealization of my worst apprehensions. I had lost my affection for\nMormonism, and my enthusiasm had now quite melted away. But to refuse to\ngo was altogether out of the question.\n\nTwo little ones had been added to our family in Geneva, and a fourth was\nborn in London, the Christmas Day after our return from the continent.\nThe foggy atmosphere of the metropolis did not agree with them at all,\naccustomed, as they had been, to the pure and bracing air of Switzerland,\nand I soon had serious illness in my family. My second little girl,\nMinnie, was so sick that we almost despaired of her life, and the others\nrequired constant attention; while the little baby boy, only a few weeks\nold, was seldom out of my arms. Just then it was, when so very awkwardly\nsituated, that the notification came for us to set our faces Zionward.\n\nThey chided us for our want of faith, because we did not take our poor\nlittle sick child from her bed at the risk of life; but I thank God now\nthat nature was stronger than our fanaticism, and that our little girl\nwas spared to grow up a blessing of which we shall ever be proud.\n\nOne day, President Marsden came to me confidentially, and told me that\nthe brethren were determined that I should leave England, and had counted\nupon my yielding in a moment of despair. My husband was to be counselled\nto go without me to Utah, if I persisted in my refusal. After he had left\nLondon, Elder Marsden was to give me notice to leave his house; and left\ndestitute, and entirely among strangers, it was thought that I should be\nonly too glad to follow.\n\nI cannot tell how indignant I was; I could not find words sufficiently\ncontemptuous to express what I felt; I reproached Elder Marsden with\ncowardice for agreeing to such an inhuman proposition, and I declared\nthat I would not risk the life of my child if an eternity of suffering\nawaited me.\n\nMy husband was absent when this took place; but when he returned\nhe approved of what I had done, and Elder Marsden was consequently\n\u201ccounselled\u201d to send us away. The doctor warned us against the danger\nof exposing my little daughter to the cold in removing her; but we had\nno choice, for we were obliged to leave. Those were very painful times.\nConstant watching and anxiety had undermined my own health, and I fell\nill. Even then, had we been left alone we might have escaped much of\nour trouble; but the incessant meddling of \u201ccounsel\u201d was a perpetual\nirritation, and we were completely worn out with annoyance.\n\nA pleasant apartment at the west end of the town was taken for me, by\nthe advice of the medical man, and I was removed thither with my baby. I\nwas not equal even to the task of taking care of that little thing, and\nhad to procure the assistance of a nurse; the other children were cared\nfor by friends. All that I needed was rest and tranquillity of mind, and\nI soon began to recover strength, though far from well. But this state\nof quietude was soon to be disturbed. Again we were notified that the\nlast emigrant ship of the season was about to leave, and we must sail\nin her; and again we were obliged to refuse. My husband telegraphed to\nthe Apostle at Liverpool that I was not well enough to travel, and he\nwas told to \u201cbring me along, and I should get better.\u201d The Apostle (!)\ncared nothing for individual suffering providing the ambitious plans\nof the priesthood in Salt Lake City were carried out. But my husband,\nanxious though he was to set out for Utah, and obedient as he ever was to\n\u201ccounsel,\u201d was not such a slave as they thought him, and he positively\nrefused to go. For this he was very much blamed, and it was said that his\nown faith must be wavering.\n\nSince my arrival in London I had several times seen my young friend, Mary\nBurton. She had, as she told me in her letters, very greatly changed, for\nshe had now become quite a young lady. Still she retained most of her\nwinning ways, though her childish prettiness had given place to the more\nmature beauty of womanhood; and when I saw her I was not surprised that\nshe should be an object of attention, or that Elder Shrewsbury should\nhave felt so deeply her rejection of him.\n\nI also had a visit from another person, whom I little expected to see.\nThis was no other than Elder Shrewsbury himself, who, I had been told,\nhad left London some months before. This, he said was quite true; he had\nleft London, and gone to work as a missionary hundreds of miles away;\ntrying to forget his disappointment, but to no purpose. His was one\nof those natures which, though kind and considerate to every one, are\nnot ready to form hasty attachments, but which, when once they do meet\nwith an object upon which to lavish their affections, became devoted in\nfriendship and unchanging in love. Their affections flow more deeply than\nthose of most people.\n\nSuch was Elder Shrewsbury, and such I thought he would always be; but\nwhat disposition, however good, can be relied upon when influenced by\nreligious fanaticism? He stood before me, _then_, manly and upright in\nhis bearing, truthful and honest\u2014a man who would have scorned evasion or\ndeceit; and his every thought of Mary was replete with tenderness and\nlove. And yet I lived to see that man again, in Utah\u2014alas, how changed a\nman!\n\nBefore we first left England I was acquainted with Elder Shrewsbury, but\nnot very intimately. We had had one or two interesting conversations\ntogether, but I remembered him chiefly in connexion with Mary Burton. It\nwas about her that he now came to see me;\u2014he wanted me to talk to her,\nand intercede with her in his behalf. But I was no match-maker, and all\nmy thoughts respecting love and marriage had recently been anything but\npleasant. I told him plainly that I thought Mary had done quite right in\nrefusing to see him, and, in fact, declining to receive the attentions of\n_any_ Mormon man. I did not doubt his love for her at present, I said;\nbut no one could any longer rely upon a Mormon Elder\u2019s word. Years to\ncome, when they had a little family growing up around them, and when it\nwould be too late for Mary to repent of trusting him, he might suddenly\nbe convinced of the necessity of obeying the Revelation, and then what\ncould she do? No! Even supposing that she loved him, which, I said, was\nvery questionable, it was better that she should suffer a disappointment\nnow, than have her heart wrung with cruelty and neglect in after-years.\n\n\u201cWhat!\u201d he cried, his eyes dashing with indignation; \u201cdo you take me for\na dog that I should treat _her_ so?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, no,\u201d I said, and tried to pacify him; \u201cI do not think anything\nbad of you, but I look upon you as a man who is in love, and therefore\nblind. You think of nothing now but Mary, and are willing to sacrifice\neverything, and to promise anything, providing you can win her. But when\nshe has become your wife, if she ever does, and you have time to cool\ndown, you\u2019ll begin to see things in another light. You\u2019ll find that she\nis only an ordinary woman, made of flesh and blood, like all the other\ndaughters of Eve, and with, I daresay, quite as many whims, and fancies,\nand perverse ways as any of them; and then, when she ceases to be \u2018an\nangel\u2019 in your eyes, and becomes merely a woman, you\u2019ll begin to assert\nyour right to think and judge for yourself, and very probably all your\nformer devotion to your religion will return.\u201d\n\n\u201cSister Stenhouse,\u201d he replied, \u201cyou do not seem to have a very high\nopinion of my constancy; but I can assure you that I have given this\nmatter my most earnest, prayerful thought. My love for Mary I need not\nmention; my devotion to my religion you only partly know. While we were\ntold that Polygamy was not true, no one could be more steadfast in the\nfaith than I was; and when the Revelation came, I looked upon it as a\nblight and a curse to the Church of God. And how well-founded my fears\nwere, you can see from this terrible apostasy which has come upon us. I\nalmost myself left the Church. Then I went to the Apostle, and I told him\nhow I was situated. I told him all about Mary, and my devotion to her;\nthat I wished to win her for my wife, but that I knew she would not marry\nme if she thought there was the shadow of a chance that I should live up\nto the Revelation. I told him that I myself should be perfectly wretched\nin Polygamy, and that it was impossible that I should love more than\n_one_. The Apostle said that I was quite right in all this. We had no\nproof, he said, in the Bible, that Isaac had more than one wife, and he\nwas accepted of God. He counselled me to do all I could to win Mary, and\ntold me that I might truthfully promise her that I would never enter into\nPolygamy. But Mary would not so much as listen to me; in fact, since then\nshe never would see me alone.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am not sure,\u201d I answered, \u201cwhether I am doing right; but I don\u2019t mind\nsaying to you that I think, from what I have seen of Mary, that she does\nnot dislike you; but she is a sensible girl, and does not choose to risk\nthe happiness of her whole life.\u201d\n\nHe was vexed with me for saying this. How could I suppose that _he_ would\nwreck her happiness? Was he not willing to die if it would give her a\nmoment\u2019s pleasure? And much more lover\u2019s nonsense he talked.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XI.\n\nEMIGRATING TO ZION:\u2014WE ARRIVE IN NEW YORK.\n\n\nThe afternoon following, Mary herself came to see me, her face all\nflushed with excitement, and eager to tell me something.\n\n\u201cWhom do you think I\u2019ve been talking to, Sister Stenhouse?\u201d she\nexclaimed. \u201cYou\u2019d never guess.\u201d\n\n\u201cI don\u2019t think there\u2019s much need for guessing,\u201d I said. \u201cYour face\nbetrays the secret, Mary.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d she said, \u201cperhaps it does, but you wouldn\u2019t wonder at it, if\nyou only knew how very anxious I have been. All this time I have kept my\nword, and I did not see him or speak to him once, except at meetings,\nand not much then, and I have been _very_ unhappy. This afternoon I came\nround about an hour ago to see you, and there on the step was Elder\nShrewsbury. He said he was here yesterday, and was just going to call\non you again, and then he asked me to go a little way with him, as he\nhad something very important to say to me. At first I refused to go, but\nhe wouldn\u2019t listen to it for a moment. So I went with him, and we have\nbeen talking ever since; or rather he has been talking, and I have been\nlistening to him. I can\u2019t tell you, Sister Stenhouse, all he said\u2014you can\nguess better than I can tell you. But I\u2019m afraid I shall not be able to\nkeep my resolution much longer, for when we came back to the door again\nhe said he wouldn\u2019t come in to see you now, and when he begged me to let\nhim call at Mrs. Elsworth\u2019s to-morrow night, I did not feel it in my\nheart to refuse him;\u2014was it very wrong of me to do so?\u201d\n\nSaid I, \u201cI\u2019m afraid, Mary, my opinion would not matter much either way;\nElder Shrewsbury\u2019s eloquence is the music which you like best to listen\nto.\u201d\n\nShe blushed, and came and sat down beside me, and we talked together\nuntil the sun went down and my little room was quite dark. I told her of\nmy troubles in Switzerland, and of the miserable effects of introducing\nPolygamy there; and she in return told me all her love affairs with\nElder Shrewsbury and of her resolution not to listen to him unless he\nsolemnly promised never to have anything to do with the hated Revelation.\nHer faith in Mormonism itself had, as I expected, been very severely\nshaken; and I think that had it not been for my efforts to reassure her,\nshe would have left the Church at that time. Would to God she had.\n\nAfter tea, she said, \u201cHave you a copy of the Revelation here, Sister\nStenhouse? I want to show you some strong points in it which I think will\nastonish you. I learned all about it from Elder Shrewsbury that night\nwhen he came to see me, and it was that that disgusted me with the whole\naffair.\u201d We searched through my trunk but could not find the document,\nand I told her that I had not patience to read it quite through when it\nwas given to me, and that since then I was not sure that I had even seen\nit. \u201cNever mind,\u201d she said; \u201cI\u2019ll bring it with me when I come again.\u201d\n\nHow often have I thought since how much depended upon that trifling\ncircumstance. Had we then together read over the Revelation and noticed\nthe \u201cstrong points\u201d of which she spoke, I believe my eyes would have\nbeen opened, and I never should have submitted to the misery which I\nafterwards endured in Utah.\n\nTowards the end of the year 1855 it was determined that a company of\nMormon emigrants, numbering several hundreds, should leave Liverpool _en\nroute_ for Salt Lake City; and for that purpose a vessel was chartered\nearly in November. This was not the ordinary season for emigration, but\nthere were then in England numbers of the Saints, anxious to go to Zion,\nbut too poor to pay their passage all the way. It was thought that when\nthey arrived in New York they would have time to earn sufficient to carry\nthem on, and it was then supposed they could join those who came over by\nthe ordinary spring emigration. My husband and myself were counselled to\njoin these emigrants in Liverpool and proceed at once to New York.\n\nThe Mormons in London were very kind to us before we left, and did all\nthey could to help us in preparing for our journey. A kinder people\nthan the Saints in Europe could nowhere be found. My husband had been\ndirected to take charge of the emigrants in the transit from London to\nLiverpool, and consequently I received no assistance from him. It seemed\nto me a very cruel arrangement for the Elders to take away from me and my\nhelpless little ones the very person to whom we ought naturally to have\nturned for protection; but what were the feelings of a weak woman when\nthey came in conflict with the \u201ccounsel\u201d of inspired Apostles?\n\nWe arrived at Liverpool the same evening, and there my husband was\nrelieved of the charge of the company, and some of the brethren were\nappointed to see that the baggage was safely transferred from the railway\nto the ship. Early the next morning we went on board, and it was not long\nbefore we began to experience the pleasures (?) of an emigrant life.\n\nBefore we set out for Liverpool, I had been told that on board ship I\nshould be able to obtain all the \u201chelp\u201d that I might desire; and, anxious\nto provide for the comfort of the children, I engaged the services of\ntwo young girls to look after them and assist me generally. This was\nan imprudent step, as I afterwards found to my cost; but at the time I\nthought that I had made a very sensible arrangement. Help being secured,\nmy next thought was to get our berths fixed, so that all might be ready\nbefore the rolling of the ship began. My first inquiries were for our\nbedding; but it was nowhere to be found. Now this was very annoying, for\nwe were all tired, and the children, poor things, were fidgetty; and\nanticipating a long and unpleasant voyage, I wanted to have everything in\nreadiness. Besides which I had made special preparations in the shape of\nmany additional comforts which I knew on board ship would be absolutely\nnecessary, and had even sold my watch and jewellery for that purpose.\n\nI inquired of the proper authorities, but could obtain no information,\nand nothing remained but for me to wait until the Apostle came on board\nto bid a final adieu to the emigrants. I felt this annoyance all the\nmore, as I considered that we had no right to expect such mismanagement.\nWe would naturally have preferred to make our own arrangements and to go\nalone, had we been permitted to do so; but we had, over and over again,\nbeen instructed not to go by any other vessel than that chartered by the\nApostle Richards, that so we might escape the perils which were sure to\novertake the Gentiles. Imagine our disgust when we found that as there\nwere not enough of the Saints to occupy the whole ship, the lower deck\nwas filled with Irish emigrants of a very low order, and that their\nluggage and ours had been thrown together indiscriminately into the hold.\nMost of the Mormon emigrants recovered their property when they arrived\nat New York; but as for our own, personally, we never saw it again, and\nall the voyage through we were left utterly destitute.\n\nNothing remained but for me to put the best face I could upon matters. I\ntook my wearing apparel and other articles out of the trunks and put them\ninto pillow-slips, and extemporized as well as I could a rough substitute\nfor beds. These served for the children, and I covered them with my\ncloaks and shawls; and for our own berths and bed-covering I had only a\nfew pieces of carpet which I put aside for the cabin floor, together with\na worn-out blanket which an old lady on board was good enough to lend me.\nThis was our going to Zion.\n\nWe had not been long at sea when the young sisters whom I had engaged to\nhelp me fell sick, and some of the brethren were very anxious to nurse\nthem. This appeared to be quite the established order of things, for I\nthen found that it was very seldom that a Mormon emigrant ship crossed\nthe ocean without one or more marriages on board. It was, no doubt, very\ninteresting to them, but to me it was extremely inconvenient, especially\nconsidering that my husband had now taken to his berth, which he did not\nleave during the remainder of the voyage, and myself and the children\nwere not much better off.\n\nSick as I was, I had to prepare our food and manage everything, for\nin those times emigrants either took out their own provisions or were\nallowanced in raw material, and in either case had to do their own\ncooking. My chief difficulty was in getting what I had prepared to the\nfire-galley, for I could not leave the children, and I was afraid to\nventure myself upon deck. So I got any of the brethren who chanced to\nbe passing to take it up, and of course they were willing to oblige me;\nbut the galley was so crowded\u2014every one having his or her own interest\nto attend to\u2014that I very rarely, if ever, had my provisions decently\ncooked, and on more than one occasion I never saw them again. This was an\ninconvenience which emigrants do not suffer at the present day.\n\nUnsuccessful with the young sisters, I thought I would try if I could\nnot get one of the brethren to help me, and fortune at first appeared\nto favour me. There was on board a young man\u2014Harry they called him\u2014and\nhe was so situated that I found it easy to open a negotiation with him.\nHe had been a saddler\u2019s apprentice in a country town in England, and\nhaving listened to some itinerant preacher, had been converted, joined\nthe Church, and began to think for himself. So hearing that terrible\njudgments were quickly coming upon the Old World, he resolved to flee to\nthe New, and in his hurry to get there he forgot to inform his master\nthat he was about to leave. This accounted for his being so badly\nprovided for.\n\nNow, Harry had those two great blessings\u2014a splendid appetite and\nunimpeachable powers of digestion. I will not say that he enjoyed these\ntwo blessings, for that he did not, on account of lacking a third\nblessing, namely, the wherewithal to make the first two blessings a\npleasure, and not an inconvenience. The ship\u2019s allowance was altogether\ninsufficient for him, and he therefore gladly engaged to do what few\nthings I required upon condition that I should add a little to his own\nprivate commissariat.\n\nHarry was a smart lad and at first very useful, and he soon convinced me\nthat he had told the truth when he said that he had not had enough to eat\never since he came on board\u2014it seemed to me very questionable whether he\never had before. He had, however, nothing to complain of in that respect\nwhile in our employment; for although the children were able to eat\nwhenever we had anything fit for them, my husband and myself could seldom\ntouch our rations, and as everything that was not used fell to Harry\u2019s\nshare, he fared pretty well.\n\nHarry was not the lad to neglect his own interests, and as our interests\nappeared just then to be his also, matters worked very harmoniously. Our\nbread was never now brought back to us half raw or burnt to a cinder. It\nmust be properly cooked for our eating or it would not do for Harry\u2019s;\nand as for it being lost or delayed on its way to or from the galley,\nthat was, of course, quite out of the question. But the strangest thing\nof all connected with Harry was that immediately after his coming we\nwere incessantly annoyed by _the rats_. I had brought for the children\u2019s\nuse a small supply of preserves and other little delicacies; but these\nmysteriously disappeared with alarming rapidity; and whenever I saved any\ntrifle for the children to eat between meals, that also was gone when\nit was wanted, and in every instance Harry suggested that it was \u201cthe\nrats,\u201d though I never could find any traces of those interesting animals.\nI was sorry to part with Harry, for he used to tell funny stories to the\nchildren, and amused them a great deal; but \u201cthe rats\u201d and Harry were\nso closely associated in my mind, that I thought if Harry left the rats\nmight perhaps also cease their visits. So Harry went, and I was once\nmore left alone to do the best I could.\n\nThe weather was very cold, and we felt its severity very much. The\nrigging of the ship was hung with icicles, and, without fire or warmth of\nany sort, it is no wonder that we all were soon hardly able to move from\ncold and sickness.\n\nIn the midst of my trouble I was told of an ancient Scotch sister\u2014a\nmaiden lady, sharp and shrewd\u2014who, like the miser in Scott\u2019s \u201cFortunes of\nNigel,\u201d was willing to help us \u201cfor a consideration.\u201d It was agreed that\nshe should give me her services for the remainder of the voyage; and the\n\u201cconsideration\u201d was to be two pounds English. Small as was our stock of\nmoney, and much as I knew we should need it upon our arrival, I felt that\nI could do no better than engage her. There was no saying upon whom _she_\nmight chance to set her maiden fancy, but there was not the remotest\nchance of any of the brethren falling in love _with her_; so I considered\nher a safe investment, and, besides, I must have _somebody_\u2014there was no\nalternative.\n\nIt was now Christmas time\u2014a season sacred to joyous memories and\nfestivities; but to us, exiles and wanderers, seeking a land of which we\nknew nothing, and which to us was a new and untried world, it was far\nfrom being a happy time. In the midst of the wild, dreary ocean there was\nnothing to recall the pleasant reminiscences of the past, or to inspire\nus with hope and courage as we thought of the future.\n\nThe captain told us that we might prepare to eat our Christmas dinner in\nNew York; but he was mistaken in his calculations. We did not eat our\nChristmas dinner in New York, as he had promised. A storm came on, which\ncompelled us to stand out to sea again, and then a dead calm followed,\nand it was not until New Year\u2019s eve that we set foot upon the shore of\nthe New World.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XII.\n\nLIFE IN NEW YORK:\u2014CONDUCTING A MORMON PAPER.\n\n\nVery cold, and dark, and dreary, were the first days which we spent in\nthe New World. That faith which once had led me to hope, and believe, and\n\u201cendure all things,\u201d was now powerless to nerve me to any new course of\naction for my religion\u2019s sake; for the dark shadow of Polygamy had come\nacross my way; hope had fled, and my love, with the love of many other\nfaithful Saints, had waxed cold.\n\nTo my husband and children I was, of course, devotedly attached, and was\nwilling to combat any difficulty or endure any trial with them, or for\ntheir sake; and it was not long before my constancy was put to the test.\n\nThe Mormon emigrants have always a Captain and two \u201cCounsellors\u201d to every\ncompany. The Captain on board the \u201cEmerald Isle,\u201d\u2014the vessel in which\nwe came\u2014was a returning Utah Elder;\u2014one of his Counsellors was also a\nreturning Elder, and my husband was the other. As soon as the Mormon\nCaptain had come on shore, and had reported to the Apostle in charge of\nthe New York Saints, he left to visit his friends. The Utah Counsellor\nhad a young lady in the company to whom he had become very much attached,\nand who afterwards became one of his wives. I was not, therefore,\nsurprised that, as soon as he could get his baggage, he also should\ndisappear; but my husband\u2014the other Counsellor\u2014being encumbered with a\nwife and family, was obliged to remain, and the whole charge of seeing to\nthe company devolved upon him.\n\nWe had, therefore, to remain in Castle Gardens until the whole company of\nemigrants was provided for; and during all the next week I, with my four\nchildren, remained in that public place, sick and weary, and as destitute\nof bedding and covering as we had been on board ship. The weather was\nintensely cold, and, unaccustomed as we were to the severity of an\nAmerican winter, we suffered not a little. The other unfortunate victims\nto faith were in the same condition, with the exception that they had\nsomething to sleep on at nights, while I had nothing but the bare boards\nfor my bed since we left Liverpool;\u2014all that I could gather together had\nbeen reserved for my babes. How we lived through that journey I know\nnot, but I am certain that, could I have foreseen what we should have to\nendure, I would never have left England, whatever my refusal might have\ncost me.\n\nI could not refrain from contrasting my life before and since I knew\nMormonism. Before, I scarcely knew what suffering was, so little had\nI been called upon to endure. I never knew what it was to be without\nmoney, or to want for anything; but now I was in a strange land, in the\ndepth of winter, without a home, without a pillow to rest my weary head\nupon, and with a future before me so dark that not a single ray of light\ngave to it the promise of hope. Could any slavery be more complete than\nmine? My fanaticism and zeal were all gone\u2014I had nothing to sustain\nme. Certainly, I was still held by the fear that Mormonism, after all,\n_might_ be of God, and that all this suffering _might_ be necessary for\nmy salvation\u2014but if at that time I had only had a friend whose mind was\nclear from all the nonsense of Mormonism, and who had felt sufficient\ninterest in me to advise me for my good, I think even then I might have\nfreed myself from the mental slavery in which I was bound. But I had no\nintercourse with any but Mormons; and, indeed, a wish to form Gentile\nfriendships I should then have considered a sin.\n\nA week after our arrival, my husband found time to seek for apartments\nfor his family, and I was thankful to leave our miserable quarters at\nCastle Gardens.\n\nThe Mormon authorities had, meanwhile, given instructions to the other\nemigrants how to act, and they did little more than this. Those who had\nnot found work or places to go to were ordered to leave the gardens,\nand received permission to occupy an old dilapidated school-room in\nWilliamsburgh, which had been used for preaching. I went there almost\ndaily to see them, and therefore state what I saw as an eye-witness, and\nneither exaggerate nor misrepresent. There they huddled together, about\none hundred and fifty\u2014men, women and children. Most of the men had been\nrespectable mechanics in their own country; many of them I had known\npersonally and had visited in their cosy English homes; and their wives\nand families had been decently brought up. What they must have suffered\nunder this change of circumstances I leave the reader to guess.\n\nIn that miserable place they lived day and night\u2014the poor, dispirited\nmothers (many of them very sick) having to cook, and wash, and perform\nall the necessary domestic duties, round two small sheet-iron stoves.\nIt was not long before the place became like a pest-house from so many\nbeing confined in so small a place, and breathing the same fetid and\npestilential atmosphere; and many of the young children died of an\nepidemic which was raging among them.\n\nThey had saved some of the ship\u2019s provisions, and that was all they\nhad to eat, and it did not last long. To me it was most distressing to\nwitness so much misery without being able to render any assistance,\nparticularly to see the poor little children shivering and crying with\nhunger and cold, while many of their mothers were in such a miserable\nstate of apathy that they paid little or no attention to them. I often\ntried to awaken in them feelings of human sympathy, but I was met with\na murmur of discontent. The people, men and women alike\u2014seemed to be\nutterly demoralized. Nor can this be a matter of wonder; for in England\nthe men had been told that\u2014while at home they could only earn four\nor five shillings a day, and would never be able to put by enough to\ncarry them all the way to Utah\u2014in New York they would be able to earn\ntwo-and-a-half to three, and even four dollars a day\u2014equal to from ten\nto sixteen shillings English\u2014and that employers would even come on board\nship anxious to engage them. Thus they had by false statements been\nallured from their homes and plunged into the most abject poverty. Day by\nday they went out seeking work, but finding none; willing to do anything\nto provide bread for their families, but returning nightly, unsuccessful,\nto their starving wives and children.\n\nMy own resources were gone. I could do nothing. When we left Castle\nGardens I think we only had about five dollars left, while the heavy snow\nwhich covered the ground and the intense cold promised many weeks of\nunusual severity. Needing so greatly pity myself, how I sympathized with\nthose poor sufferers, how I pitied them!\n\nIn the midst of all this, the Apostle John Taylor learned that some of\nthese poor souls had been seen begging. So he came from his comfortable\nboarding-house in Brooklyn, well wrapped up in a handsome overcoat, and\nscolded these poor, starving creatures, and harangued them concerning the\nmeanness of begging. With great swelling words he spoke of the dignity\nof the Saints of the Most High, and told them that he despised a Mormon\nwho could fall to the level of a common street beggar.\n\nCould he have heard the unspoken curses of the poor, wounded hearts of\nthose who listened to him, as they thought of his brother \u201cApostle\u201d in\nEngland, and of how he had deceived them and sent them into a strange\ncountry, in the depth of winter, to beg, to starve, or to steal, he would\nhave learned that though the victim of a delusive faith may mentally\nsubmit to man-made creeds and priesthoods, in his heart he will judge,\nnot so much the words he hears as the man who utters them.\n\nThe wisdom of the Apostle found out a remedy. He \u201ccounselled\u201d the men and\nboys to buy shovels, and go forth into the streets and clean away the\nsnow from the fronts of the doors and from the side-walks, and told them\nthat they would thus get plenty of money to keep them until winter was\nover. One elderly brother, who had a little money left, bought a stock\nof shovels; but the emigrants found that there were plenty of others who\nwere as eager as they for work, and who were much better acquainted with\nthe way of obtaining it. The shovel experiment was a failure, and the\npoor old brother lost his money in the investment.\n\nFor whatever the Apostle Taylor may have contributed to these unfortunate\npersons\u2014whether in \u201ccounsel,\u201d money, or provisions\u2014he will doubtless\nhave his reward; and, for aught I know, he may have been unable to\ngive anything more than counsel; but, at the same time, my opinion\nof the value of counsel remains unchanged. There has been no lack of\n\u201ccounsel\u201d or counsellors in the Mormon Church. \u201cCounsel\u201d has been given\nin abundance to all, and by no means always for the benefit of those\nwho received it. It was not, however, because he failed to assist them\npractically that the people hated the Apostle Taylor, and have hated\nhim ever since; but it was for his pride and arrogance, and the way in\nwhich he dared to talk to free-born Englishmen and Englishwomen about the\ndignity of the Priesthood, and the contempt in which he held them in the\nhour of their humiliation and distress\u2014for that they hated him.\n\nI do not, of course, wish to justify the people in begging; such conduct\nwould have been despicable if they could have found employment of any\nsort. But when I saw the starving condition of those men and their\nhelpless families, in that wretched school-house, in my heart I almost\nhonoured them for having the courage to beg; and I thanked God that the\n\u201cmean Yankee Gentiles\u201d\u2014as the Elders taught the Saints to call American\ncitizens who did not believe in Mormonism\u2014were able and willing to assist\nthem.\n\nOne of those emigrants very recently related to me some of the painful\ncircumstances through which he passed at that time. He told me that he\nwalked the streets of Williamsburgh for three days and three nights\nwithout a mouthful of anything to eat, or a place to lay his head;\u2014he\ncould obtain no work, and at length, in sheer desperation, he was\n_forced_ to beg. The Church authorities knew well the misery of the\npeople, but took no adequate steps to alleviate it.\n\nDuring the first weeks after our arrival in New York city, we had nothing\nto depend upon but the provisions which we had saved from the ship\u2019s\nrations. I had known what it was to be in a foreign country without money\nand without food; and on board ship I took care of our rations when they\nwere not consumed by Harry or \u201cthe rats;\u201d for I thought that if I did\nnot need them\u2014which, indeed, I sincerely hoped might be the case\u2014I could\ncertainly find some one who would be thankful for them. These rations\nconsisted chiefly of sugar that was almost black; very bad black tea,\nwhich when made looked like dye; the poorest kind of sea-biscuit; and\nother things accordingly. The provisions for the Mormon emigrants were\npurchased in bulk by the Church authorities, who made their own profits\nout of them, and the Apostle at Liverpool had the benefit of all that\ncould be saved out of them during the voyage. It was commonly said among\nthe people that the sight of them alone was quite sufficient for any one\nwho was not half-starved; and yet they had paid the price of the best.\n\nWe had been in New York several weeks when one day my husband called at\nthe office of a paper called _The Mormon_, and there met with the Apostle\nTaylor, who conducted that paper. The Apostle expressed great regret that\nMr. Stenhouse should be without occupation at that season of the year,\nand with a family of children upon his hands. This sympathy, coming from\na brother Missionary was, I thought, very tardy, for my husband had then\ndevoted over ten years of his life to the cause, and his record in the\nChurch had been untarnished. The Apostle was living in an elegant house,\nsurrounded by every comfort and luxury, while he knew that we had not\nso much as a chair, or even a bed to lie upon. What had he done for\nthe Church more than my husband had done? Indeed, I firmly believe that\nhe had not endured half so much, but\u2014he was an Apostle! His unhelping\nsympathy appeared to me a little more than questionable.\n\nHe told my husband that he might come into the office of _The Mormon_,\nand write the addresses on the wrappers, and that he would give him a few\ndollars a week \u201cto help things along,\u201d until something better presented\nitself. My husband thought this a disinterested action on the part of\nthe Apostle John Taylor, but my experience in Mormonism led me to be\ndistrustful and suspicious of everything that an Elder or Apostle said or\ndid. This offer, however, came when we really had nothing to look to, and\ndared not refuse any assistance that was offered, however small it might\nbe. But I must admit that my ideas of Apostolic liberality were very\nmuch shocked when at the end of the week Mr. Stenhouse informed me that\nhe had been allowed four dollars for his services, and that out of that\nmagnificent sum the Apostle John Taylor had deducted twenty-five cents\nwhich sheer necessity had compelled him to borrow for the week\u2019s ferriage.\n\nThe Apostle-editor had two assistants from Utah with him in _The Mormon_\noffice\u2014the one a \u201cSeventy,\u201d and the other a \u201cHigh-Priest\u201d\u2014terms and\ntitles which I shall presently explain. A few weeks after my husband\nentered the office, the \u201cSeventy\u201d who had charge of getting out the paper\nwas allowed to return to Zion. The High-Priest remained in the Eastern\nStates visiting alternately the various branches of the Church, and\ndoing some very zealous courting with a young English girl who lived in\nWilliamsburgh, while his two unsuspecting wives at home in Salt Lake City\nwere earnestly praying the Lord to bless him in his \u201cmission.\u201d\n\nWhatever the Apostle may have thought of his associate, he could not very\nwell remonstrate with him, for he himself was, and had been for some\ntime, doing a good deal in that line with an amiable Connecticut girl,\nand was only waiting for special permission from Brigham Young, to add\nher to the half-dozen wives he already had in Utah.\n\nThere was, moreover, another High-Priest attached to that office, but\nno one seemed to understand his exact position. To all appearance his\nprincipal occupation was travelling from New York to Connecticut and from\nConnecticut back again to New York. He was a very robust-looking man,\nbut it was reported that he was troubled with heart-disease, and that\nthe purer air of Connecticut was a great relief to him. This I fully\nbelieved when, some time after, I discovered that the young lady engaged\nto the Apostle had a charming sister, for I thought it very probable that\nshe rendered no small assistance to the Connecticut air in giving relief\nto his diseased heart.\n\nMy husband not being at that particular time under the influence of\n\u201cheart-disease,\u201d soon became very useful on the editorial staff. In fact,\npretty well everything was left to him, and not unfrequently for two or\nthree days he saw nothing of the Apostle or either of his associates,\nand the whole responsibility of getting out the paper\u2014at the magnificent\nsalary of four dollars a week!\u2014rested upon him. He was told that he must\nregard it as a mission, and be prepared to act accordingly.\n\nIn course of time, however, the visits to Connecticut came to an end.\nThe Apostle obtained Brother Brigham\u2019s permission to practise a little\nPolygamy among the Gentiles, and Miss Young made him an excellent\nhousekeeper in a handsomely furnished house in Brooklyn. The poor\nHigh-Priest and the Seventy did not fare so well: they were expected\nto wait until they reached Zion. The two young ladies to whom they\nwere engaged were amiable and good girls, who would without doubt have\nmet with excellent husbands either in or out of the Church; but the\nname of an Apostle or High-Priest\u2014when the men themselves were away\nfrom home\u2014carried with it many charms, and won the hearts of the young\nladies and their friends. The Apostle was, of course, well used to the\ntraining of wives in the \u201ccelestial order,\u201d and when he returned home\nwith his youngest bride he suffered no particular inconvenience. But the\nHigh-Priests realized the truth of the adage \u201cThe course of true love\nnever did run smooth.\u201d The first wife of one of them refused to have\nanything to do with his new bride, and kept him at a respectful distance\nfrom herself then and ever afterwards; while the first wife of the other\ndeclined to acknowledge the claims of her youthful rival. The first\nHigh-Priest has gone to heaven; the other, in the course of time, gave a\nbill of divorce to his wife. What happiness either of these three girls\nfound in Polygamy they best know, but the young widow appears decidedly\nthe happiest of the three.\n\nI had heard much while in London about men taking wives \u201cfrom principle,\u201d\nand that, after the first wife, they made no open display of their love,\nbut I could not see that they differed in the slightest from their\nGentile brethren in that respect; the Utah Elders of whom I have spoken\nalways seemed to be very human. In all Polygamic courtships that I have\nsince witnessed, the brethren have appeared to think that the \u201cLord\u2019s\u201d\nrevelation was a trifle too slow in arranging affairs of the heart, and\nthey have been zealously preparing for its coming. In some instances\nthe revelation has come too late, and in many others it would have been\nvery disastrous if it had not come at all. In all cases it may be safely\nasserted that all that has been said about getting the consent of the\nfirst wife and obtaining a revelation from the Lord as to whether it is\npleasing in His sight for a man to take another wife, or not\u2014is pure\nfolly and nonsense. Brigham Young is the only \u201clord\u201d who has ever been\nconsulted on that question. If he acknowledged this to the people and\nthey chose to abide by it, they alone would be to blame; but it is the\ngrossest of frauds for men claiming to be the representatives of Jesus\nChrist to play upon the credulity of an honest people, trifling with\nthe most sacred subjects, and telling them that God answers by special\nrevelation and declares whether or not it is His will that each of these\nplural marriages should take place. The Apostles and Elders themselves\nare not deceived. They know well enough that there is no truth in all\nthis mockery; they know that the only source of all their revelations is\nthe man Brigham Young.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XIII.\n\nSAINTLY PILGRIMS ON THE WAY\u2014THE \u201cDIVINE\u201d HAND-CART SCHEME.\n\n\nOne Sunday morning in early spring I attended a meeting of the Saints in\nWilliamsburgh.\n\nMy husband was there, and took part in the service, and so did the\nApostle Taylor, and one or two other Utah Elders. I went to that meeting\nin a very desponding state of mind, for our prospects since the day of\nour arrival had not brightened very much, and I felt the need of some\ncomforting and cheering words.\n\nWhether it was the influence of the clear spring morning, or that the\nElders had noticed the depression of spirit among the Saints, I cannot\ntell, but I know that on that particular occasion their words seemed to\nme more earnest and encouraging than they had been for a long time past.\n\nAs we came out from the meeting, Brother Benton, one of the Elders,\nstepped up to my husband, and said, \u201cBrother Stenhouse, _they_ are\nexpected to arrive to-night or to-morrow; I suppose you will be down at\nthe \u2018Gardens\u2019 to meet them.\u201d\n\nI knew well enough who \u201cthey\u201d were who were expected to arrive, and so\ndid Mr. Stenhouse. \u201cYes,\u201d he said, \u201cof course I shall be there, but\nmost likely we shall have to wait a few days before they come.\u201d Then he\nstopped and talked over the matter with Elder Benton.\n\nNow it chanced that at that time Brigham Young was trying an experiment.\nThe \u201cProphet of the Lord\u201d sometimes finds it necessary\u2014notwithstanding\nthe \u201crevelations\u201d which he is supposed to receive\u2014to try experiments like\nother men before he can feel sure that his plans are likely to succeed.\nThe only difference between him and other men is, that he\u2014knowing\nhimself that his plans are his own inventions, or the inventions of the\nleaders\u2014gives out that they come direct from God, thereby deceiving the\nignorant, innocent, and confiding people; and when his plans fail, as\nthey often do, he never confesses that he is wrong or mistaken, but lays\nall the blame on some other person, or, failing that, on \u201cthe Lord\u201d or\nthe devil. Other men, as a rule, say nothing about \u201cthe Lord\u201d or devil,\nbut when their experiments fail they frankly confess that they themselves\nwere not inspired, but were liable to err. That is all the difference.\n\nIn the present instance Brigham Young tried an experiment upon a rather\nlarge scale.\n\nUp to the year 1856 the Mormon emigrants made the journey from the\nFrontiers across the Plains by ox-teams, as I have already described,\nand every season some of the wealthier Mormons formed themselves into an\nindependent company, paid their own expenses, and travelled with more\ncomfort. The expense to the poorer emigrants was very small, for they\nperformed the greater part of the journey on foot\u2014the ox-teams being used\nfor transporting provisions and baggage\u2014one hundred pounds of the latter\nbeing allowed to each emigrant.\n\nThis \u201cplan\u201d was, so far, a success, and the settlements of the Saints\nincreased thereby, slowly but surely, in population and wealth. There\nwere, however, at that time, thousands of Saints in Europe anxious to\nemigrate, but who were too poor to provide the small sum requisite for\nthat purpose. During the winter of 1855 this difficulty was discussed\nin Conference by Brigham and the leading men in Salt Lake, and some\none suggested what was afterwards known as the \u201cHand-Cart Scheme.\u201d The\nidea of this \u201cscheme\u201d was to transfer the people from Liverpool to the\nFrontiers in the cheapest possible way, and for them then to cross the\nPlains with light-made hand-carts, just strong enough to carry the fewest\npossible necessary articles, but sufficiently light for the men, women,\nand even young girls, to draw them.\n\nThis \u201cplan\u201d would not perhaps have been a bad one if it had been properly\ncarried out, and if Brigham Young had seen, as he might have done, that\nsuitable preparations were made beforehand. But the Hand-Cart Emigration\nScheme began with a lie and ended in ruin.\n\nThe confiding Saints were told that \u201cGod\u201d had specially inspired His\nservant Brigham for this purpose, and the scheme was a revelation\ndirect from on high.\u2014No proper measures were taken to provide for the\nemigrants\u2014all was done upon faith\u2014faith on the part of the people in\ntheir\u2014as they supposed\u2014inspired leaders; deception on the part of those\nleaders towards the people, whose only fault was that they trusted them\ntoo well.\n\nThe _Millennial Star_ proclaimed the \u201cplan\u201d to the Saints in Europe,\nand so great was the response to this special summons that in that\nyear\u20141856\u2014it was roughly estimated that no fewer than five or six\nthousand Mormon emigrants travelled from Liverpool to Salt Lake City.\nIt was the first company of these emigrants that Brother Benton alluded\nto when he told Mr. Stenhouse that \u201c_they_\u201d were expected that night or\nthe next; but in those days emigrant vessels were frequently delayed by\nadverse winds and other circumstances, and no one could calculate upon\nthe exact time of their arrival in port.\n\nThe following morning, my husband, when he returned from the _Mormon_\noffice, brought with him a letter bearing the English postmark, and\naddressed to me in the neat unmistakable handwriting of Mary Burton.\nI had been waiting and watching for a letter from her ever since our\narrival; I was anxious to hear from her, and I hastily tore it open, so\nimpatient was I to know how she was getting on. What I read interested\nme deeply, though it did not surprise me. I had seen Mary many times\nafter the interview which I have already related, and our conversations\nand discussions were to us of all-absorbing interest; but as they were\nmostly personal I have not cared to record them in this narrative. To\ntell the truth, her love affairs with Elder Shrewsbury occupied more and\nmore the most prominent place in all our discussions. His enthusiasm was\nperfectly infectious. As long as Mary absolutely refused to see him, her\nlove for him and her faith in Mormonism were anything but overpowering.\nBut Elder Shrewsbury was one of those peculiar persons who have a sort of\nmagnetic charm about them; who, without our knowing it, or even, in some\ninstances, contrary to our will and reason, enlist all our sympathies and\nleave behind them an impression that we vainly try to efface. He only\nwanted _opportunity_, and his success was sure.\n\nOpportunity he had had for pressing his suit with Mary and making an\nimpression upon her heart, ever since the day when they met at my door,\nand had taken that walk together, as Mary said, for the purpose of\ndiscussing important matters.\n\nNow the letter which I received opened to me another chapter in Mary\u2019s\nlife, which without the gift of prophecy I might have easily predicted.\nElder Shrewsbury\u2019s patience and perseverance met with their due reward,\nand Mary at length promised to become his wife; but fascinated though she\nwas, and herself almost as deeply in love as he was, she nevertheless\nmade one condition which showed that she had not entirely lost that\nprudence and determination which she had shown in the early days of their\ncourtship.\n\n\u201cWhen he spoke to me in _that_ way\u2014you know _how_, Sister Stenhouse\u201d\u2014she\nsaid in her impulsive way, \u201cHow could I persist in saying _No_ to him?\nIt wasn\u2019t in my heart to do so. I didn\u2019t say \u2018Yes\u2019 in so many words, but\nI simply said nothing, and he took my silence for consent. Then\u2014but no,\nI won\u2019t even tell _you_ everything.... I know he thought he was going to\nhave it all his own way; but I didn\u2019t think so. I told him then that I\nhad firmly resolved upon one thing\u2014that I never would marry him unless he\nmade a solemn vow and promise before God that he would never enter into\nPolygamy. I could not hide from him that I loved him\u2014he knew it and could\nsee it; but I said I _never_ would go to Utah alone, and I certainly\nnever would marry at the risk of my husband taking another wife. No; I\nwas willing to give him my heart, my all\u2014it was only fair for him to do\nthe same by me.... He was very near me then, and my hand was in his; and\nhe was looking into my eyes. Then he whispered the promise I had asked of\nhim, and, dear Sister Stenhouse, I _know_ I can depend upon _his_ word.\nWe shall be happier in this world _by ourselves_, and we feel quite sure\nthat God will not ask us to do anything in heaven that would make us\nmiserable. Perhaps I oughtn\u2019t to say this, but I\u2019m so happy that I cannot\nallow myself one single wretched doubt about the future or _my_ husband,\nsuch as I used to have.... We were married on the 27th of January....\n\n\u201cAnd now we are getting ready for Zion, and are busy day and night. Of\ncourse you have heard of the \u201cDivine Plan\u201d\u2014the Hand-Cart Scheme. Oh,\nSister Stenhouse, I am so very, _very_ much ashamed of myself for all\nthe wicked things that I used to say about the Apostles and the Elders.\nSince our marriage, Elder Shrewsbury has explained everything to me, and\nset things in their right light. It is a glorious privilege for us to be\npermitted to gather to Zion, and now that I know my dear husband will\nnever even think of another besides myself, I glory in the thought of\nleaving the Gentile world and all its wickedness....\n\n\u201cWe go with the first company this season.\n\n\u201cI will tell you all the rest of the news when I meet you, dear.\u201d\n\nSo Mary Burton was married, and coming with the Hand-Cart Company. \u201cWhy,\u201d\nI said, turning to my husband, \u201cthey\u2019ll be here in a day or two now.\u201d\n\n\u201cPerhaps to-day,\u201d he replied.\n\nThey did not, however, arrive either that day or the next; but towards\nthe end of the week we were told that their vessel was in the river, and\nI accompanied my husband to Castle Gardens to see them.\n\nA strange spectacle was presented to our view. More than six hundred\nMormon emigrants were gathered there, all on their way to Zion, and\nburning with zeal and enthusiasm worthy of a better cause. There were\naged men and women, whose heads were hoary with the snows of many a\nwinter, and whose tottering steps had borne them to the verge of three\nscore years and ten; there were stout-hearted fathers and families, and\nmatrons with sons and daughters growing up around them; there were young\nmen in the pride and strength of manhood; and maidens in the modest blush\nof womanly beauty; and little toddling children, and babes in their\nmothers\u2019 arms\u2014all obedient to what they thought was the command of God\nHimself\u2014all with their faces set steadfastly and anxiously Zionward.\n\nLet not the reader smile at the blind infatuation of those poor\nemigrants. Would he or she have suffered so confidingly\u2014so faithfully\u2014for\nhis or her religion? They might be mistaken; but truly theirs was a\nfaith which \u201choped all things, believed all things, endured all things.\u201d\nSurely, in His sight\u2014who judges the heart\u2014the blind obedience of those\nmen and women who were ready to suffer and to endure unto the bitter\nend, because in their child-like faith they thought that it was His holy\nwill\u2014such practical devotion was more truly acceptable than the formal\nprofessions of an untested faith.\n\nI met at Castle Gardens many whom I had known in the old country; but it\nwas one particular face which I was anxious to see. A man wrapped in a\nthick great coat, and with a fur cap upon his head, brushed against me;\nand before I had time to raise my eyes, my hand was grasped in his, and I\nheard Mary\u2019s husband say, \u201cOh Sister Stenhouse, I\u2019m so glad to see you; I\nknew we should meet you in New York. Come and see Mary. She\u2019s _my_ Mary\nnow!\u201d\n\nI went with Elder Shrewsbury and I saw Mary. But oh, how greatly was she\nchanged! When I returned from our Swiss mission and saw her after an\ninterval of several years, I was, of course, struck with the alteration\nwhich had then transformed her from a pretty little fairy-like girl\ninto a decorous young lady contemplating matrimony; but although I had\nnow been absent from England only a few months, I observed a much more\nstriking alteration in her than on the previous occasion. It was not now,\nI thought, so much an outward and personal change, as a new development\nof her inner consciousness\u2014her soul itself. Her form was as graceful, and\nher eyes as bright as ever; but from those eyes there now shone forth\nanother light than that which I had thought so charming in the by-gone\ntime.\n\nHer affection for me was as warm and demonstrative as when we first met.\nShe recognized me in a moment, before her husband had time to say a word;\nand, throwing both her arms round me, she kissed me again and again with\nall the effusion of her childish days. Taking my hand she led me gently\ninto a quiet corner and seated me beside her on a big trunk, and then\nshe began to talk. It was the same soft sweet voice again, which used to\nbe so dear to me when I was left all alone in Southampton, soon after my\nmarriage, while my husband was on mission in Italy.\n\nShe told me all the story of her courtship\u2014all, and much more, than she\nhad told me in her letter. But it was when she came to speak of her\nmarriage, of her husband, and especially of their pilgrimage to Utah,\nthat I observed more especially the change which had taken place in her.\nShe was no longer the light-hearted girl, half-doubting her strange\nreligion, and rejecting it altogether when it did not coincide with her\nown ideas and wishes. No: Elder Shrewsbury\u2014had he been ten times a Mormon\nElder\u2014could not have wished for a more obedient, a more earnest, I might\nsay, a more fanatical believer than was now to be found in his young and\nbeautiful wife. Her eyes really glowed with enthusiasm as she spoke of\n\u201cthe work of the Lord\u201d and of \u201cgathering to Zion;\u201d and her voice, though\nsoft and sweet as ever, had in it, now and then, a tinge of sternness\nwhich told of a determination and spirit which the casual observer would\nnever have suspected.\n\nI expressed some surprise that she and her husband, not being without\nfunds, should have gone with the Hand-Cart Company when they might\nhave waited and have gone with so much more comfort with one of the\nindependent companies.\n\n\u201cWhy, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cwe have done it as a matter of faith.\nCertainly we could have afforded to go in any way we chose, but my\nhusband said we ought to be an example to the poorer saints; so we gave\naway nearly all our money to help the emigration fund, and then we came,\njust as you see us, along with the rest.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut the danger and discomfort is so great,\u201d I suggested. \u201cSurely the\nLord does not want us to sacrifice ourselves when no one is benefitted by\nit?\u201d\n\n\u201cNot a bit,\u201d said she; \u201cthere\u2019s no danger, Sister Stenhouse, and if there\nwere it would only please me all the more. As for discomfort, why we\nshould have had that any way, and we both glory in making sacrifices.\nBesides which, we have been told by the Apostle that this will be the\nmost pleasant and successful journey across the Plains that has ever been\nmade.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am a little doubtful of the promises of Apostles and Elders,\u201d I said;\n\u201cand I remember, Mary, when you used to agree with me.\u201d\n\n\u201cI know I did,\u201d she answered; \u201cbut Brother Shrewsbury has shown me how\nwrong I was\u2014I never doubt _now_. But I think you have a wrong notion\nabout this hand-cart scheme. It is not an ordinary plan such as any man\nmight have made. God Himself revealed this plan to Brigham, and in fact\nwe call it \u2018the divine plan\u2019 in our songs. Oh, you should hear our songs!\nThey\u2019re a little rough, but the singing is so earnest and the voices of\nthe men and girls blend so well together, that I know you\u2019d like them.\nThere\u2019s only one thing that I don\u2019t like about this plan, and that I\ndaresay is all right if only I knew it.\u201d\n\n\u201cI think, Mary,\u201d I said, \u201cI could tell you a good deal that you wouldn\u2019t\nlike if you knew it.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, dear,\u201d she replied hastily, as if afraid to hear me, \u201cdon\u2019t tell\nme unpleasant matters. I\u2019ll tell you all I meant. The Prophet and Heber\nC. Kimball, and Jedediah Grant, counselled the richer emigrants to give\nas much as they could\u2014all their property, if they had faith enough\u2014to\nhelp the poor brethren to emigrate; but the American Elders had private\ninstructions\u2014so Brother Shrewsbury told me\u2014to use the money to help\nout all the unmarried girls who are willing to go. I confess that this\ntroubled me not a little; but my husband says that when we get to Zion we\nshall find all will be right, and of course I believe him.\u201d\n\nMary\u2019s conversation puzzled me a good deal at the time. She had formerly\nbeen so clear-sighted and so unbiassed by prejudice, and now she seemed\nready to believe anything. All her husband\u2019s enthusiasm was now her own;\nshe saw with his eyes, and in the intensity of her love for him she\nbelieved all that he accepted as true. Long after, when I thought of that\nshort interview, I called to mind her impulsive earnestness, and I felt\nthat a secret misgiving, unconsciously to herself, was partly the cause\nof it. Unknown to herself her excess of zeal was the offspring of doubt.\n\nLife in the future was in anticipation to my poor friend one long day of\nhope and happiness. She could not see the shadow of a cloud\u2014no coming\nsorrow darkened her way. Zion, to her excited imagination, was the abode\nof peace, and sanctity, and unchanging joy.\n\nI asked her whether the Saints in England had heard any of those strange\nreports about Brigham Young defying the Government, which had attracted\nso much attention in this country.\n\n\u201cCertainly,\u201d she said; \u201cit is because the day is so very near when all\nintercourse between God\u2019s people and the Gentile world shall be cut off\nfor ever that these great efforts are being made to gather the Saints to\nZion. Of course you know this, but I don\u2019t think you know all. Why, at\nthe last general conference in Liverpool, the president had instructions\nfrom Salt Lake to propose Brigham Young as \u2018prophet, seer, revelator, and\n_King_!\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201c_King?_\u201d I said. \u201cHow can President Young ever be \u2018king\u2019? Utah is part\nof the territory of the States, and under their jurisdiction; it is not\neven a State itself yet, and Congress has refused to sanction the name of\n_Deseret_. This country will never suffer a kingdom to be set up in Utah;\nyou must be misinformed, Sister Mary.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she exclaimed, \u201cI am under no mistake. My husband\nassured me that the conference accepted the proposition, and that it was\nreceived unanimously. The Saints are gathering in from all parts of the\nworld, and when war is declared they will not be found unprepared. Why,\nhere on board with us, the American Elders are all provided with swords\nand revolvers of the very best make that could be got for love or money,\nand I myself have heard them say that Brigham Young intends shortly to\ndeclare his independence of the United States. We didn\u2019t know this before\nwe left England, but we felt sure that he had some great purpose in view\nwhich had been revealed to him.\u201d\n\n\u201cBefore we left,\u201d I said, \u201cthe Saints were all eager to emigrate.\u201d\n\n\u201cYes, dear,\u201d she answered, \u201cbut nothing like they are now. You have no\nidea how excited and anxious everybody is. Some of the people, in order\nto obey counsel, sold their watches and jewellery, and even their best\nclothes, scarcely keeping enough for the journey, and every one who had\nany money gave it away. Brigham Young set a noble example in that; even\nthe Gentiles would admire him if they knew all. Why, we had on board\nship with us Brother Tenant, the rich new convert, who paid thirty\nthousand dollars for the property which Brigham Young so generously gave\nto help the Emigration Fund. He hardly had enough left to carry him and\nhis family to Zion; and now he is going to cross the Plains with us, to\nsettle in Salt Lake City. He is somewhere here among the emigrants, I\nbelieve, at the present moment, and you could ask him all about it if you\nliked. The brethren assure him that Brother Brigham is so liberal that he\nwill get vastly more than the value of his thirty thousand dollars when\nhe reaches Zion, and I hope he will, for I like both him and his wife.\u201d\n\nAll this was thus far true, but it was with some misgivings that I heard\nMary talk about it. Still I tried to persuade myself that it was a sin to\ndoubt. How little did either of us imagine that after poor Mr. Tenant\u2019s\nmiserable death upon the Plains we should live to see his wife\u2014destitute\nand defrauded of her property by generous-hearted Brigham\u2014dragging out a\nmiserable existence in Zion, and dependent even for a crust of bread upon\nthe kindness of the brethren. And yet, as I have previously stated, this\nwas how the Prophet, under the mask of liberality, contrived, for his own\npurposes, to cheat this unfortunate and too-confiding Saint.\n\nThen we talked of what more nearly interested ourselves, and Mary asked\nme when Mr. Stenhouse and myself were coming out. I told her that it was\nquite uncertain, but that we expected to before long. \u201cAt any rate you\nwill come out before the season is over?\u201d she said.\n\n\u201cMost likely so,\u201d I replied; \u201cbut you will be safely there and settled\nbefore we arrive.\u201d\n\nHow little did she imagine the fearful scenes she was to witness\u2014the\nterrible sufferings she was to endure\u2014before the season she spoke of had\npassed away. Could I at that time have known all, I would have prayed\nthat sooner than set out on that fearful journey she might find refuge\nin the grave from the horrors which, unknown to her, were brooding over\nher way.\n\nWe talked long, and then my husband joined us\u2014Elder Shrewsbury was called\naway by some necessary duty\u2014and when we parted it was with many promises\nto write frequently to each other of our common religious interests, as\nwell as the welfare of ourselves and those we loved. Then I spoke with\nseveral other old friends, and we exchanged greetings with all sorts\nof people, for my husband wherever he goes is always sure to be upon\nspeaking terms with almost everybody he meets.\n\nThe Hand-Cart Company left New York for Utah\u2014a long and formidable\njourney at best\u2014but in that instance, through mismanagement and neglect,\none of the most fatal expeditions that imprudent man has ever undertaken;\nand it was not until months and months had passed away, and another\nseason had come round, that we heard anything of their fate.\n\nAnd time went on, but my troubles did not lighten. My husband still\ncontinued to work at the _Mormon_ office, and after a while his salary\nwas slightly increased from time to time; but still his earnings were\naltogether inadequate for the support of a family, and I found it\nabsolutely necessary to obtain some employment for myself. It cost me\nmany a long and weary day of search and inquiry, and many a battle\nwith my pride, before I could get anything to do; but at last I was\nsuccessful, and although my little ones required constant attention, I\ncontrived to add a very decent quota to the scanty family purse.\n\nAnd thus matters continued until the following year\u2014our life of\nuncertainty and care unchanged. Little in my life at that time is worth\nrecording: to me it was one long, painful struggle, and any change which\ncould come I felt must be for the better. My experience of Mormonism was\nof course enlarged as new facts presented themselves to my observation,\nand by nothing was my faith so much shaken as by the discrepancies\nbetween the written and spoken Mormonism which was presented with fair\nface to the European Saints and the world at large, and the actual\nconduct of the Elders.\n\nFrom the first moment when Polygamy was announced, the leaders had\nstrictly forbidden the missionaries to enter into any alliances with\nthe sisters abroad, or to make any proposals of marriage to them, or\nto enter into any matrimonial covenants. In the language of Heber C.\nKimball\u2014Brigham\u2019s first counsellor\u2014they were \u201cnot to pick out from the\nflock the young, fair, and tender lambs,\u201d but were to bring them all\nsafely home to Zion.\n\nThis counsel was all very well, for it tended to keep the Elders out of\nmischief, and afforded an opportunity to the brethren at home to select\nmore and more youthful wives from the fair converts who were gathered in\nto Zion. But the missionaries found it very irksome to obey this counsel,\nand in point of fact those who did so formed a very small minority.\n\nOne of the missionaries who had just returned from Europe came one day to\nour house in New York, and brought a youthful sister with him. He was by\nno means a handsome man or prepossessing in his appearance, but I saw at\nonce that he had succeeded in obtaining considerable influence over the\nyoung sister\u2019s mind. He said she was not very happy, and he wanted her to\nstay with some respectable family for a week or two until they set out\nfor Utah, and I agreed that she should stay with us.\n\nShe began to play with the children, and took one of them in her arms\nin a way which attracted my attention, for I noticed that tears were\nin her eyes, and she excited my sympathy. I asked her as gently and as\ndelicately as I could what was the matter with her, and what her sorrow\nwas, and she told me that she herself had two little ones at home and was\nwretched at being parted from them. She had obeyed counsel, and had left\nher husband and a happy home to go to Zion. She loved them all dearly;\nbut, deluded by false teachings, and promises that she should soon have\nher children again, she had stolen away and left them all.\n\nI reasoned with her, tried to make her see how wrongly she had acted,\nand persuaded her to return to her husband and seek his forgiveness. But\nit was all in vain. The salvation of her soul she thought was beyond all\nearthly considerations; she must stifle the suggestions of her heart\nwithin her; she must hasten to Zion. Thus she left me, and like many\nanother victim, I never expected to see her again.\n\nOne morning, a few months later, I was astonished to receive a visit from\nher. After expressing my pleasure at seeing her once more, she told me\nthat what I said had so impressed her that when the emigrants had arrived\nat St. Louis she had refused to proceed any further on the journey, had\nwritten to her husband, had made everything right with him, and was now\non her way back to her home in England.\n\nMy story is so full of painful reminiscences, that it is with pleasure\nthat I record this incident\u2014one of the rare cases in which folly was\nnot succeeded by utter ruin and misery. Alas, how many instances I\nmight mention, which fell beneath my own personal observation, of wives\nand mothers led away by the delusive doctrines which they mistook for\ninspiration, and who sought vainly, through years of misery, for peace\nand rest, until at length they found it in the darkness of the tomb.\n\nTowards the end of the year 1857, the difficulties in Utah, and a\nfinancial panic in New York, resulted in the discontinuance of the\n_Mormon_. My husband was thus thrown out of employment, and to add to\nour difficulties the people for whom I worked suspended operations. This\nnew trial of our faith, however, was not long; out of apparent evil\ngood came. Released from his obligations to the Apostle and the Mormon\npaper, my husband now set earnestly to work to obtain a living without\nthe crippling influences of \u201ccounsel\u201d or the dictates of those whom his\nreligion taught him to respect.\n\nI had always believed that if suffered to act for himself, his energy\nwas such that he would certainly carve his way to a respectable position\nin the world. In this I was not deceived, either at the time of which\nI speak or at a later period when, in Salt Lake City, he engaged in\nactive business on his own account. In New York, where he had been, by\nthis time, appointed President of the Eastern Mission, and was actively\nengaged in advocating the claims of the Mormon Church, he sought and\nfound employment on the staff of the _Herald_, and in connexion with\nother daily papers; and such was his success, that from a condition of\nmisery and poverty we were very soon raised to a position of comfort,\nand surrounded by every luxury suitable to our station in life; and this\nposition we enjoyed until called upon to leave all and journey across the\nPlains to Zion.\n\nOur own journey to Zion was postponed for a while; but not long before\nwe set forth, I received the long-expected letter which Mary Burton had\npromised me; and as it contains a vivid picture of a mode of transit\u2014the\nonly mode which could _then_ be used\u2014across the Plains, and shows what\npeople were forced to endure so recently as a few short years ago, I\nshall give it in the following chapter; for I feel sure that if the\nreader did not peruse the story in the exact words of my unfortunate\nfriend, he never would believe that in this country and in our own times\nsuch a terrible tragedy could have been enacted.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XIV.\n\nA TERRIBLE STORY:\u2014THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS CROSSING THE PLAINS.\n\n\n\u201cI promised to write and tell you all about our journey across the\nPlains, but I little expected to have such a terrible tale to tell.\n\n\u201cYou have heard so much of the journey to Salt Lake Valley that you\nknow pretty well how we must have travelled to Iowa City, where it was\nnecessary that we should wait until the whole company was quite ready for\nthe long journey which lay before us.\n\n\u201cOur life up to a certain point was much the same, and we met with the\nsame difficulties as all other emigrants who had gone before us. But\nthere the comparison ends. Privation, and toil, and weariness, and not\ninfrequently sickness and death, wore out many of the companies that went\nbefore us, but they never suffered as we did. It is utterly impossible\nfor me to tell you all that we went through. And when I finish this\nletter and lay down my pen, and even when you read the fearful story\nof my own experience during that journey, you will still have but the\nfaintest idea of the horrors and sufferings which we endured.\n\n\u201cAt Iowa City we found nothing prepared for us. When we left Liverpool we\nwere told that hand-carts, provisions, and all that we needed, should be\nprovided before we arrived. If this had been done we should have had just\nfairly time enough to travel over the Plains and reach Salt Lake before\nthe terrible cold of winter set in. As it was, everything went wrong. The\nElders who had been sent out before us to buy tents and carts and all\nthat we wanted had either been unfortunate or very careless, for, as I\nsaid, when we arrived in Iowa City not the slightest preparation had been\nmade.\n\n\u201cYou know how strong my faith was when we left New York, and how Brother\nShrewsbury and myself were ready to sacrifice everything. I can assure\nyou that we were fully tested, and I do think that but for our strong\nfaith not a single soul of all that company would have survived that\njourney.\n\n\u201cThree companies had, after a long delay, been sent out before we reached\nIowa City. As it was then early in the season, they completed their\njourney before the cold of winter set in. I afterwards heard that Brigham\nYoung and the Elders, when they saw those companies arrive safely in\nSalt Lake City, spoke of the scheme as _a successful experiment_. We had\nbeen taught that the scheme came directly from heaven, and was neither\nspeculation nor experiment, and when I heard that, after all, the Prophet\nhimself spoke of it as a matter of doubtful issue, I asked myself\u2014_Whom_,\nthen, can we believe?\n\n\u201cWe waited three weeks in Iowa Camp while they were making the\nhand-carts. They were very lightly made, and I think not at all suitable\nfor such a long and wearisome journey; and being so hastily put together,\nand most of the wood unseasoned, they were utterly unfit for the rough\nwork for which they were constructed. Twenty of these carts\u2014one to every\nfive\u2014were allowed to every hundred persons, who were also allowed five\ngood-sized tents and one Chicago waggon, with three yoke of oxen, to\ntransport the baggage and provisions. We were only allowed seventeen\npounds of bedding and clothing each, which, with cooking utensils, &c.,\nmade up about one hundred pounds to each cart, and that was quite as\nmuch as the cart (itself only sixty pounds in weight) could carry. You\ncan see, Sister Stenhouse, how difficult it must have been out of every\nhundred persons\u2014men, women, and children\u2014to find twenty who were strong\nenough to pull even such frail things as those hand-carts were. The\nmarried men and the young men and boys did the best they could, but they\ncould do no more, and some of the carts were drawn by young girls alone.\n\n\u201cThe girls and women who had no husbands used to occupy a tent by\nthemselves at night; but in the other tents, whole families, without\nrespect to age or sex, together with the young men who assisted them\nduring the day, used to find shelter. This you will see at once was\nexceedingly inconvenient; but we had no choice, and we had been so long\nassociated, and had suffered so much together, that we did not feel it as\nmuch as we otherwise must have done.\n\n[Illustration: \u201cGATHERING TO ZION\u201d\u2014LIFE ON THE PLAINS.\n\n_To face p. 125._]\n\n\u201cWhat weary days we spent! Hour after hour went by, mile after mile we\nwalked, and never, never seemed to be a step the further on our way.\nSometimes I recalled to mind a hymn which we used to sing at Sunday\nSchool, when I was a child\u2014an evening hymn in which we returned thanks\nthat we were\u2014\n\n    \u2018A day\u2019s march nearer home.\u2019\n\n\u201cBut day after day went by\u2014wearily, hopelessly\u2014and when each night came\non, and, tired and footsore, we lay down to rest, we seemed no nearer to\nour home in Zion.\n\n\u201cDo not think, Sister Stenhouse, that we gave way to despondency. What we\nfelt, God alone knows; but our poor weary hearts were full of confiding\nfaith in Him, and we placed undoubting confidence in the promises and\nprophecies which we had received through His chosen servants. The young\nfolks were light-hearted and gay, and with all the enthusiasm of youth\nthey pressed on, thinking not of the way but only of the end; and their\nexample was most encouraging.\n\n\u201cMy husband was one of the bravest and truest of all that band. He\ndrew the cart which we shared with another Elder and his wife and\ntheir grown-up daughter. They were old people\u2014I mean the Elder and his\nwife\u2014and the daughter was an old maid, unpleasant, thin, and sour, and\ntoo feeble to do anything. There were reasons why I was excused from\ntaking any share in hard work; but I felt as zealous as the rest, and day\nafter day walked beside my husband, thinking that, if nothing more, my\ncompanionship might cheer him. The old folks walked behind, and so did\nthe children; but sometimes, when the little ones were very weary indeed,\nthe parents would place them on the top of the bedding in the hand-cart,\nand give them a lift. But some of the elderly people who were unused to\nwalking far, and whom it was impossible to carry, suffered a great deal;\nand sometimes mothers with children at their breasts would trudge on mile\nafter mile in all the heat and dust without a murmur or complaint, until\nthey almost dropped down with fatigue. What some of those poor creatures\nsuffered, no words could tell.\n\n\u201cThe sun shone down upon us with intense heat as we travelled through\nIowa, and the people from the farm-houses and villages came out to see\nus, and wondered at our rashness in undertaking such a journey. They were\nvery kind to us, and came and visited us in our camps, and offered some\nof the men work and good wages if they would stay there instead of going\non to Zion. A few of the people accepted these offers; but the Elders,\nas you may suppose, watched carefully every company and every man; and\nin the evening, when meetings for prayer and preaching were held, we\nwere earnestly exhorted to obedience, and the sin of acting upon our own\njudgments was set forth in the very plainest terms. The kindness of the\nIowa people, however, encouraged us, and they freely gave to those who\nmost needed whatever they could to help us on our way.\n\n\u201cAnd we needed help and sympathy.\n\n\u201cOf course, with only one waggon to carry all the provisions for a\nhundred persons, besides five tents, our supply of food was very limited.\nAt that period of the journey the grown-up people were allowed ten ounces\nof flour a day and a little\u2014and but a very little\u2014coffee, sugar, rice,\nand bacon. This was a very scanty allowance for people who all day long\nhad to draw the hand-carts or to trudge mile after mile in all that\nburning heat and dust\u2014but we never complained. Some of the men ate all\ntheir rations at breakfast, and went without anything more until the next\nmorning, unless they were able to beg a little of some friendly farmer by\nthe way. The little children received just half as much as the others.\nWith a very small amount of management this inconvenience might certainly\nhave been avoided, for provisions of all sorts were very cheap in the\ndistricts through which we passed. Some of the more thoughtful saints, I\nknow, felt very bitterly the injustice of this; for, as you are aware, we\nhad paid _all_ our expenses _in full_\u2014even to the uttermost farthing; and\nwe had been promised in return a safe and sufficient outfit with plenty\nof provisions, and in fact all that was necessary. Had we been left to\nourselves, we should of course have provided for every contingency; but\nwe came in obedience to counsel under the direction of the Church, and\nafter we had paid for everything; the Church even \u2018took care\u2019 of our\nmoney, so that we therefore could not procure necessaries by the way, as\notherwise we might have done.\n\n\u201cThus wearily, and suffering not a little privation, we travelled all\nthrough Iowa, until we came to the Missouri river and encamped at\nFlorence, a place about six miles north of Omaha, and there we remained\nabout a week, preparing for our journey across the Plains.\n\n\u201cIt was the middle of August when we arrived at Florence, and we had\nbeen delayed so much on the way that it appeared to many of the more\nexperienced that it would now be the height of imprudence for us to cross\nthe Plains at that season. With old people, delicate women, and little\nchildren, and without carriages of any sort\u2014except the frail hand-carts\nthat carried our bedding\u2014it would be a weary, long time, before we could\nreach Salt Lake. Every step must be trudged on foot, and it was quite\nimpossible that we could walk many miles a day, while there was before us\na journey of over a thousand. Some of the Elders proposed that we should\nsettle where we were, or somewhere near by, until the following spring,\nand then go on to Zion; but others who were more confident urged that we\nshould proceed at once. The Elders called a great meeting to settle the\nmatter, at which we were all present.\n\n\u201cI should tell you that when we first started our whole company was\nplaced under the guidance of Elder James G. Willie as captain; and we\nwere again subdivided into five parties of about one hundred each, and\nover every hundred was placed an Elder or sub-captain. The first hundred\nwas headed by Elder Atwood, the second by Levi Savage, the third by\nWilliam Woodward, the fourth by John Chislett, and the fifth by Elder\nAhmensen. About two hundred of the people were Scotch and Scandinavians;\nnearly all the rest were English. All were assembled at the meeting. You\nknow, Sister Stenhouse, how meetings were held at home. Well, it was just\nthe same there. We, of course, had nothing really to say\u2014we had only to\nobey counsel and sanction the decision of the leading Elders. I used to\nfeel annoyed rather at that sort of thing in London, as you may remember;\nbut now, when life and death depended upon the wisdom of our decision,\nwith all my faith, I felt worse than annoyed, wicked as I have no doubt\nit was for me to feel so. My husband never uttered a word, but I know he\nfelt much as I did, and in that he was not alone among the Elders.\n\n\u201cWe had neither vote nor influence\u2014the Elders held our destiny in their\nhands. In all our company there were only three or four men who had been\nout to Salt Lake before, and of course they could not be overlooked, so\nthey gave their opinion at the meeting. They must have fully known the\ndangers and difficulties of the way, and what hardships _must_ overtake\na company so scantily provided for as was ours, if we continued our\njourney. But, for all that, they not only spoke slightingly of the danger\nwhich threatened us, but prophesied, in the name of the Lord, that we\nshould pass through triumphantly and suffer neither loss nor harm.\n\n\u201cOne man alone\u2014Levi Savage\u2014dared to tell the truth. People well-mounted,\nor even with good ox-teams, could safely and easily make the journey,\nhe said; but for a band of people like ourselves, with aged folks, and\nwomen, and little children, to attempt it so late was little short of\nmadness. He strongly urged that we should take up our quarters there for\nthe Winter, when, he said, as soon as spring came on, we could safely and\nsuccessfully perform the remainder of our journey.\n\n\u201cThe other Elders thought that he was weak in the faith, and plainly\ntold him so; and one of them even said, \u2018he\u2019d eat all the snow that fell\nbetween Florence and Salt Lake City.\u2019 The people, of course, believed\nwithout question what they were told to believe, for they had long ago\nmade up their minds that the leaders were inspired, and therefore they\ndared not doubt them, and the prudent counsel of Brother Savage was\nrejected accordingly. I was not near enough to hear his words, but I was\nafterwards told that he said, \u2018What I have said, I know is the truth; but\nas you are counselled to go forward, I will go with you; I will work, and\nrest, and suffer with you; and, if God wills it so, I will also die with\nyou.\u2019 Never was man more faithful to his word than was Brother Savage,\nand often after that, when sickness, and weariness, and cold, and hunger,\nand death, overtook us\u2014as he had foreseen\u2014he never for one moment forgot\nthe promise which he had so solemnly made.\n\n\u201cThen\u2014the middle of August being passed\u2014we left Florence behind us,\nand began our weary journey across the Plains in much the same fashion\nas we had already travelled through Iowa. We had, however, taken fresh\nprovisions to last us until we reached Utah, and as the oxen could not\ndraw so much extra weight, one sack, weighing about a hundred pounds,\nwas placed on each of the hand-carts, in addition to the other baggage.\nThis was a severe tax upon the endurance of the people, but most of them\nbore it without a murmur. On the other hand, we fared a little better\nin the matter of provisions, for we were allowed a pound of flour a day\neach, and also, occasionally, a little fresh beef, and besides that each\nhundred had three or four milch cows. As we continued our journey, and\nthe provisions were consumed, the burdens on the carts, of course, grew\nlighter.\n\n\u201cBut this was only the beginning of our pilgrimage;\u2014the end we could not\nforesee. Every evening, when we pitched our tents, we endeavoured\u2014by\nsongs, and jests, and interesting stories\u2014to beguile the tediousness of\nthe way. The days were not quite so warm now, and the nights were more\nchilly; but altogether, it was much more pleasant travelling than it was\nin the earlier part of the journey, and no one seemed to remember the\nalmost prophetic remonstrance of Brother Savage.\n\n\u201cStill we travelled very slowly, for the carts were always breaking down;\nthe wheels came off, and we had nothing to grease them with. The boxes\nof the wheels were made of unseasoned wood, and the heavy pressure upon\nthem, and the dust that got into them, soon wore them out. Some of the\npeople cut off the tops of their boots and wrapped them round the axles,\nand others cut up their tin plates and kettles for the same purpose; and\nfor grease they used soap, and even their pitiful allowance of bacon. But\nas the days passed, and the flour began to be used up, these accidents\nbecame less frequent.\n\n\u201cUpon an average, they said, we travelled about fifteen miles a day,\nwhich I think was very good. Some few days we even made a little over\ntwenty miles, but they were balanced by the shortcomings. We tried to\nfeel happy and hopeful, and even the aged and infirm tried to make light\nof their toil and privations, for we did not see that heavy cloud which\nwas looming across our way. I frequently talked with the old and weakly\namong the people, to whom both my husband and myself were able to offer\nlittle kindnesses, and they all spoke cheerfully of our prospects. Such\nfaith had they in the promises of the Elders.\n\n\u201cJust before we reached Wood river, vast herds of buffaloes appeared in\nour vicinity, and one evening all our cattle stampeded, and the men had\nto go in search of them. About thirty were lost, and after hunting after\nthem for three days, we gave them up. We had only one yoke of oxen now\nfor each waggon, and as the waggons were loaded each with three thousand\npounds of flower, the teams could not move them. So they yoked up the\nbeef-cattle, and cows, and heifers, but they were unmanageable; and at\nlast we were obliged again to place a sack of flower upon each hand-cart.\n\n\u201cThis sorely tried us all. Some of the people even complained, but the\ngreater part of us bore up bravely, believing that it was the will of the\nLord. We still had faith that all would yet be well. This was, however,\na hard blow. Our milch cows were useless to us, our beef-rations were\nstopped, and the burdens which we drew were doubled. Every one did his or\nher best, but many of us began to be disheartened, and could hardly get\nalong.\n\n\u201cOne evening there was quite a commotion in the camp. We had pitched\nour tents for the night on the banks of the Platte river, I think, when\nsuddenly quite a grand turn-out of carriages and light waggons came up\nfrom the east and joined us. Each carriage was drawn by four horses, and\nthe outfits were in first-class style. Nothing could be too good for\nApostles and other \u2018distinguished\u2019 servants of the Lord, I was anxious\nto know who they were, but was not long in finding out. There was the\nApostle Franklin Richards, and Elders Webb and Felt, and Joseph A. Young,\nthe son of the Prophet, and Elders Dunbar, and Kimball, and Grant\u2014all\nreturning Missionaries. They stayed with us all night, and in the morning\ncalled a great meeting, and the Apostle Richards delivered a speech,\nwhich since has troubled me not a little, and made me very sorrowful.\n\n\u201cHe had heard of what Brother Savage had said, and then and there, before\nus all, he rebuked him. He then exhorted us to remember the hope set\nbefore us, and told us to pray and work on, and especially to be obedient\nto counsel; and he finished by solemnly prophesying, in the name of the\nGod of Israel, that the Almighty would make a way for us to Zion; and\nthat though the snow might fall and the storm rage on the right hand and\non the left, not a hair of our heads should be hurt.\n\n\u201cSome of the people wept with joy as they heard these words. My own heart\nwas full. To me, this was the voice of inspiration\u2014the voice of God\u2014how\ncould I doubt again?\n\n\u201cSister Stenhouse, before a month was over, I saw with my own eyes that\nprophecy, those promises, falsified to the very letter; and yet at the\ntime they came to me and to all else as the word of the Lord from heaven.\nTell me, if men can thus deceive themselves\u2014for I do not doubt for a\nmoment that the Apostle believed his own prophecy\u2014and if we could be so\nsadly deluded as to believe that what was said was divine\u2014what surety\nhave we for our religion at all? I strive against these sinful doubts,\nbut they _will_ sometimes creep into my heart unbidden.\n\n\u201cThe Apostle and the Elders with him told Captain Willie that they wanted\nsome fresh meat, and the Elders killed and gave them of our very best.\nWhat could be denied to the Servants of the Lord? We were then more\nthan four hundred in number\u2014aged men and feeble women, with babes and\npoor little children too young to walk; many of them infirm and sick,\nall of them footsore and weary. We were far away from home, travelling\nslowly hundreds and hundreds of miles, worn out, and without sufficient\nprovisions for the way, or the remotest chance of obtaining any. And\nyet, oh God! I shame to tell it; these servants of Heaven\u2014our leaders,\nour guides, our example\u2014these chosen vessels who came to us, riding\ncomfortably and at ease in their well-appointed carriages, took of our\npoverty\u2014took the very best we had!\n\n\u201cAs they left the camp, I looked up into my husband\u2019s face, and our eyes\nmet. We said not a word, but in our hearts there was the same thought.\nSister Stenhouse, there must have been that self-same thought in the mind\nof many another poor soul who watched those Elders depart after they had\nlectured us on faith and patience and obedience!\n\n\u201cThey crossed the river pleasantly enough, and pointed out the best\nfording-place, and then they watched us wade through\u2014the water there\nbeing nearly a mile in width, and in some places two and even three feet\nin depth\u2014and though many of the heavy-laden carts were drawn by women and\ngirls they never so much as offered to lend us the aid of their handsome\nteams. One sister told me that they watched the poor people crossing,\nthrough glasses, as if it were an entertainment; but I did not see that,\nand can hardly believe it was true. All that they did, however, was\nto promise that when we reached Laramie we should find provisions and\nbedding and other necessaries ready for us, and that they would send help\nfrom Salt Lake Valley to meet us.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XV.\n\nMARY BURTON\u2019S STORY CONTINUED:\u2014TERRIBLE ENDING OF THE HAND-CART SCHEME.\n\n\n\u201cIt was early in September when we reached Laramie, but we found nothing\nawaiting us there. We were all very much discouraged at this, and Captain\nWillie called another meeting for consultation. We knew of course,\nbeforehand, that our position was very bad; but figures, when stated\nplainly, become startling facts. We now learned that if we continued\nat the same rate as that at which we had previously been travelling,\nand received each the same allowance daily, we should be left utterly\ndestitute of provisions when we were yet three hundred and fifty\nmiles from the end of our journey. Nothing remained but to reduce our\nallowance; so, instead of one pound, we were rationed at three-quarters\nof a pound a day, and at the same time were forced to make incredible\nexertions to travel faster.\n\n\u201cNot long after this, Captain Willie received a message from the Apostle\nRichards. It is the custom, you know, for people who want to send\nmessages to emigrants who come after them to write a note on a scrap of\npaper, and tie it to a stone or a piece of wood, and leave it on the way.\nNo one disturbs it, as no one but the emigrants travel along that road,\nand they are sure to find it. It was from a rough post-office like this\nthat Captain Willie got his letter. In it the Apostle told him that we\nshould receive supplies from Salt Lake when we reached the South Pass;\nbut that we knew would be too late. So our allowance was again reduced,\nand after that we were rationed at an average of ten ounces for every\nperson over ten years of age. The men who drew the carts received twelve\nounces, the women and aged men nine ounces, and the children from four\nto eight ounces according to age. Before this, the men with families had\ndone better than the single men, as they had been able to save a little\nfrom the children\u2019s rations, and of course they did not like this new\narrangement so well.\n\n\u201cPicture to yourself these men\u2014in the cool air of September, drawing\nafter them each one a loaded cart, with one or more children most\nfrequently superadded to its weight, trudging wearily every day, ten,\nfifteen, or twenty miles over the rough desert, wading across streams\nwith the women and children, setting up tents at night, working as they\nnever worked before in all their lives, and withal keeping soul and body\ntogether upon twelve ounces of flour a day. This is but one side of the\npicture\u2014the physical toil and endurance of the working men. Think what\nthe feeble and aged, the sick, the women and children, must have endured!\n\n\u201cBy this time many of those who had hitherto held out bravely began to\nfail, and the people in general were greatly discouraged. Captain Willie\nand the Elders who assisted him did their best to keep up the spirits\nof the people, and to get them over as much ground as they could each\nday. The captains over the hundreds had also no little work to perform\nin distributing provisions, helping the sick and infirm, and, in fact,\nsuperintending everything.\n\n\u201cFor some time the nights had been getting colder and colder, and by the\ntime we arrived at the Sweetwater river we suffered considerably from\nthat cause; we felt that winter was fast approaching. In fact, it came\non earlier and more severely last year than at any time before since the\nSaints settled in Utah. Does it not seem strange that at the very time\nwhen they were offering up special prayers for us in Zion, that we might\nbe defended from cold and storm, the terrors of a more than ordinary\nwinter overtook us and proved fatal to so many of our company? The\nmountains were covered with snow; and it was soon quite evident, even to\nthose who had prophesied most loudly that the Lord would work a special\nmiracle in our behalf, that the storm-clouds of winter would soon burst\nupon us.\n\n\u201cYou have never seen the Sweetwater river, so I may as well tell you that\nit is a very irregular stream, and we had to cross it again and again\nupon our way. As usual we had to wade through the water each time, and\nthough the men helped over the women and children as well as they could,\nmany of us got very wet indeed, and quite chilled, and we were all cold\nand miserable. Still, our faith never gave way\u2014some, I know, began to\ndoubt a little, but they had not yet lost all faith, and discouraged\nand wretched, as indeed we were, the greater number bore up with heroic\nresolution. I noticed, however, on the faces of some poor souls\u2014men\nand women\u2014a peculiar expression which it is quite impossible for me to\ndescribe. Later on I was led to believe that at that time they, perhaps\nunconsciously, felt the presentiment of that fearful death which so soon\novertook them.\n\n\u201cWe suffered much at night. You may remember that I told you we were only\nallowed seventeen pounds of clothing and bedding, and that, of course,\nwas of little use. Sleeping in a tent, under any circumstances, is not\ngenerally pleasant to those who are accustomed to the shelter of a house;\nbut sleeping in a tent, exposed to the keen night air of a wilderness,\nand with scarcely a rag of covering, was almost sufficient to prove fatal\nto the stoutest and strongest. During the summer time, although our fare\nwas scanty and our labour incessant, we rose each morning refreshed and\nstrengthened, and ready for the toils of the day. But now we crept out of\nour tents cramped and miserable, half-frozen, and with our eyes red and\ntearful with the cold. We seemed to have no life left in us.\n\n\u201cThese things soon began to tell upon the health of every one of us,\nespecially upon the aged and those who were sickly. Hope at last died out\nin their poor weary hearts. One by one they fell off\u2014utterly worn out.\nPoor things! how they had longed to see the promised Zion, and now all\nexpectation of peaceful rest on earth was over\u2014the bitter end had come.\n\n\u201cWe dug graves for them by the wayside in the desert, and there we laid\nthem with many tears, scarcely daring to look one another in the face,\nfor we felt that our own time might perhaps be nearer than we thought.\n\n\u201cOne by one at first they fell off, but before long the deaths became so\nfrequent that it was seldom that we left a camp-ground without burying\none or more. This was, however, only the beginning of evil.\n\n\u201cSoon it was no longer the aged and sickly who were taken off, but the\nyoung and strong, who under other circumstances would have set disease\nand death at defiance. Cold, hunger, and excessive toil brought on\ndysentery; and when once attacked by that there was little hope for the\nsufferer, for we had no medicine, and it was quite out of our power to\ngive them relief in any other way. I now began to fear for my husband,\nfor I had noticed for some time an expression of extreme weariness in his\nface. Our trials had not hardened our hearts; on the contrary, I think,\nas death seemed to be drawing near, our affection for each other grew\nmore pure and devoted, and in my heart I often prayed, that if it were\nHis will, God would let us die together and rest in the same grave. We\nnever spoke a word to each other on this subject, but we felt the more.\nI exerted all my strength, and day after day toiled along at his side,\nhelping him all I could; but although he never complained, I saw in his\neyes a dull and heavy look which, more than any words, told of failing\nstrength and the approach of disease, and my heart sank within me.\n\n\u201cBut my own troubles did not alone engross my attention; there was too\nmuch wretchedness around us to allow any one to be absorbed entirely in\nhis own griefs. Acts of devotion on the part of both parents and children\ncame before me daily such as would have put to shame the stories of\nfilial and parental piety which we used to be taught at school.\n\n\u201cI saw one poor man, whose health had evidently never been strong, draw\nthe cart with his two little ones in it, as well as the baggage, mile\nafter mile, until he could hardly drag his weary limbs a step further;\nhis wife carried a little five-months old baby in her bosom. This they\ndid day after day, until disease attacked the husband, and it was evident\nthat he could bear up no longer. The next morning I saw him, pale as a\ncorpse, bowed down, and shivering in every limb, but still stumbling on\nas best he could. Before the day was half over, the poor wife lagged\nbehind with her babe, and the husband did not seem to notice her. This\nwas not the result of heartlessness on his part; I believe that even then\nhe had lost all consciousness. He did not know it, but he was dying.\nStill he stumbled on, until the short wintry day came to a close, and we\npitched our camp, and then I missed him. There was no time to inquire,\nand a chill came over my heart as I thought of what might be his fate.\nPresently my husband came to the tent and told me all. The poor man had\ndragged the cart up to the last moment, and, when the company halted\nfor the night, he had turned aside, and sitting down he bowed his head\nbetween his knees and never spoke again. Later still, the poor wife\nreached the camp, and I saw her then. There was no tear in her eyes,\nand she uttered neither cry nor moan, but there was upon her features a\nterrible expression of fixed despair which I dared not even look upon.\n\n\u201cA few days after this, one morning as we were almost ready to start, I\nsaw that poor mother in her tent, just as they had found her. She was\ncold and still\u2014frozen to death\u2014her sorrows were over at last, and her\npoor weary spirit was at rest; but on her bosom, still clasped in her\narms, and still living, was her little child, unconscious of its mother\u2019s\nfate.\n\n\u201cMost of those who died, as far as I could tell, seemed to pass away\nquietly and with little pain, as if every feeling of the heart were\nnumbed and dead. But my own sufferings and fears at that time were so\ngreat that I could not be a very close observer. Strange as it may\nseem, the fear of death did not so much appear to terrify these poor\nvictims as the thought that their bodies would be buried by the wayside\nin the desert, instead of in the sacred ground of Zion. Poor souls! the\nabsorbing passion of their life was strong in death.\n\n\u201cAs death thinned our ranks, the labours of those who survived were\nincreased, until at last there were hardly enough left with strength\nsufficient to pitch our tents at night. A great deal devolved upon the\ncaptain of our hundred, Elder Chislett. He is a very good man, and a\ndevoted Saint; and I am glad to say that both he and a lady to whom he\nwas betrothed, and who was also with our company, escaped with their\nlives. I have often seen him, when we stopped for the night, carrying the\nsick and feeble on his back from the waggon to the fire, and then working\nharder than a slave would work in putting things straight for the night.\nHe showed a great many kindnesses to my husband and myself.\n\n\u201cBut individual efforts availed nothing against fatigue and hunger,\nand the fearful cold. To the minds of all of us, the end was fast\napproaching. Nothing but our faith sustained us; and foolish as many\npeople would think that faith, I am quite sure, that but for it, no\nliving soul of all our company would have ever reached Salt Lake.\n\n\u201cAt last the storm came, and the snow fell\u2014I think it must have been at\nleast five or six inches deep within half an hour. The wind was very\nkeen and cutting, and it drifted the snow right into our faces; and thus\nblinded by the storm, and scarcely able to stand, we stumbled on that day\nfor fully sixteen miles. What we suffered it would be useless for me to\nattempt to describe. Some of the scenes we witnessed were heart-rending.\n\n[Illustration: OVER AT LAST.\n\n_To face p. 136._]\n\n\u201cThere was a young girl, with whom I was very well acquainted, and whom I\nsaw struggling in the snow, clinging to one of the hand-carts, and vainly\ntrying to help in pushing it on, but really doing just the contrary. She\nis now in Salt Lake City, a helpless cripple, her limbs downwards having\nbeen frozen during that storm, and subsequently amputated. A poor old\nwoman, too, whom I think you must have known in London, lingered behind\nlater in the day. When night came on it was impossible for any one to\ngo back to search for her, but, in the morning, not very far from the\ncamp, some torn rags\u2014the remains of her dress\u2014were found, a few bones, a\nquantity of hair, and at a little distance a female skull, well gnawed,\nand with the marks of the wolf-fangs still wet upon it;\u2014the snow all\nround was crimsoned with blood.\n\n\u201cWe halted for a little while in the middle of that day, and to our\nsurprise and joy, Joseph A. Young and Elder Stephen Taylor drove into\nthe camp. We found that when the returning missionaries, of whom I have\nalready told you, left us by the Platte river, they made their way as\nspeedily as they could to Salt Lake City. Joseph A., who felt deeply for\nour sufferings, although he had been away from home for two whole years,\nhastened to his father, and reported to him the condition in which we\nwere. Brigham Young was of course anxious to undo the mischief which had\nresulted from the people following his inspired counsel, and at his son\u2019s\nearnest entreaty allowed him to return with provisions and clothing to\nmeet us. Joseph A. lost no time, but pressed on to the rescue, and having\ntold us that assistance was on the way, hastened eastward to meet the\ncompany that was following us.\n\n\u201cI cannot tell you what a relief this intelligence was to the minds of\nall, and how much the poor people felt encouraged by it. But as for me,\nat that time my heart was sad enough. For some time my husband\u2019s strength\nhad evidently been failing, and for the last two days I had felt very\nserious apprehensions on his behalf. He had been overtasked, and like\nthe rest of us he was starving with cold and hunger, and I saw that he\ncould not hold out much longer. My worst fears were speedily realized.\nWe had not journeyed half a mile from the place where we rested at noon,\nwhen, blinded by the snow, and completely broken down, he dropped the\nrail of the cart, and I saw that he could go no further. How I felt,\nyou, as a wife and mother, only can guess. In a moment my own weakness\nwas forgotten; my love for my husband made me strong again. To leave\nhim there or to delay would have been death to one if not all of us.\nSo I called to those who shared the cart with us, and they helped me\nas well as they could to lift my husband up, and put him under part\nof the bedding. It was the only chance of saving his life; for, as I\nbefore mentioned, some, previous to this, who had been overcome, and had\nlingered by the way, had been frozen to death or devoured by the wolves.\n\n\u201cI then took hold of the cross-bar or handle of the cart, and numbed with\nthe cold, and trembling in every limb, it was as much as I could do to\nraise it from the ground. To move the cart was impossible, so I appealed\nto the old folks again, and they exerted all their strength to push it\nfrom behind, and our combined efforts at length succeeded; but the chief\nweight fell upon me. How gladly I bore it; how gladly I would have borne\nanything for the mere chance of saving my dear husband\u2019s life, your own\nheart can tell.\n\n\u201cThe snow drifted wildly around us, and beat in our faces so blindingly\nthat we could hardly proceed. The greater part of the train had passed on\nwhile we delayed on account of my husband, and now every one was making\nthe most desperate efforts to keep up with the rest; to be left behind\nwas death. Had I been asked whether under any circumstances I could have\ndragged that heavy cart along in all that storm, I should certainly have\nreplied that it would be utterly impossible; but until we are tried we\ndo not know what we can bear. It was not until the night came on, and we\npitched our tents, that I realized what I had passed through.\n\n\u201cThey helped me to carry my husband to the tent, and there we laid him,\nand I tried to make him as easy as was possible under the circumstances,\nbut comfort or rest was altogether out of the question. All that night\nI sat beside him, sometimes watching, sometimes falling into a fitful\nsleep. I did not believe that he would live through the night. In the\nmorning he was by no means improved, and then I felt too truly the abject\nmisery of our position. It is a painful thing to watch at the bedside of\nthose we love when hope for their recovery is gone; but think what it\nmust be to sit upon the cold earth in the tent, upon the open desert,\nwith the piercing wind of winter penetrating to the very bones, and there\nbefore you, the dear one\u2014your life, your all on earth\u2014dying, and you\nwithout a drop of medicine, or even a morsel of the coarsest nourishment,\nto give him. Oh, the bitterness of my soul at that moment! I tried to\npray, but my heart was full of cursing; it seemed to me as if even God\nHimself had forgotten us. The fearful misery of that dark hour has left\non my soul itself a record as ineffaceable as the imprint of a burning\niron upon the flesh.\n\n\u201cThe morning broke at last, dark and dreary, and a thick heavy mantle\nof snow covered all the camp; but we contrived to communicate with each\nother, and soon it was whispered that five poor creatures had been found\ndead in the tents. Want, and weariness, and the bitter cold, had done\ntheir work, and we did not weep for them\u2014they were at rest; but for\nourselves we wept that we were left behind\u2014and we looked at one another,\nwistfully, wondering which of us would be taken next.\n\n\u201cWe buried those five poor frozen corpses in one grave, wrapped in the\nclothing in which they died, and then we comforted each other as best\nwe might, and left the dead who were now beyond our reach, that we\nmight do what we could for those who were fast following them to the\ngrave. A meeting of the leaders was held, and it was resolved that we\nshould remain where we were until the promised supplies reached us.\nWe could not, in fact, do otherwise, for the snow was so deep that\nit was impossible for us to proceed, and the sick and dying demanded\nimmediate attention. That morning, for the first time, no flour was\ndistributed\u2014there was none. All that remained, besides our miserable\ncattle, was a small quantity of hard biscuit which Captain Willie bought\nat Laramie, and a few pounds of rice and dried apples. Nearly all the\nbiscuit was at once divided among the whole company, and the few pounds\nwhich remained, together with the rice and apples, were given to Elder\nChislett for the use of the sick and the very little children. They also\nkilled two of the cattle and divided the beef. Most of the people got\nthrough their miserable allowance that very morning, and then they had to\nfast.\n\n\u201cCaptain Willie set out that morning with another Elder to meet the\ncoming supplies and hasten them on, and as we saw them disappear in the\ndistant west we almost felt as if our last hope departed with them, so\nmany chances there were that we should never see them again.\n\n\u201cThe whole of that long, long day I sat beside my husband in the tent\u2014and\nI might almost say I did no more. There was nothing that I could do. The\nlittle bedding that was allowed for both of us I made up into a couch\nfor him; but what a wretched makeshift it was! And I got from Elder\nChislett a few of the dried apples which had been reserved for the sick;\nbut it was not until nightfall that my husband was capable of swallowing\nanything\u2014and then, what nourishment to give to a sick man! The day was\nfreezing cold, and I had hardly anything on me, and had eaten nothing\nsince the day before; for my mind was so agitated that I do not think the\nmost delicate food would have tempted me. God alone knows the bitterness\nof my heart as I sat there during all that weary day. I never expected to\nsee my husband open his eyes again, and I thought that when evening came\nI would lie down beside him, and we would take our last long sleep on\nearth together.\n\n\u201cWhen night came on and all was dark I still sat there; I dreaded to\nmove lest I should learn the terrible truth\u2014my husband dead! I looked\ntowards the place where I knew he was lying, but I could see nothing. I\nlistened, and I fancied that I heard a gentle breathing\u2014but it was only\nfancy. Then, louder than the incessant moaning of the wind, I could hear\nin the distance a fearful cry\u2014a cry which had often chilled our hearts\nat midnight on the plains\u2014it was the wolves! The darkness grew darker\nstill\u2014so thick that one could almost feel it; the horror of death seemed\nstealing over all my senses. Oh that there might be one long eternal\nnight to blot out for ever our miseries and our existence. I threw my\nhands wildly above me, and cried bitterly, \u2018Oh God, my God, _let me die_!\u2019\n\n\u201cGod was nearer to me than I thought. As my hand dropped lifelessly to\nthe ground it touched some moving thing\u2014it was my husband\u2019s hand\u2014the\nsame hand which I had watched in the twilight, stiffening, as I thought,\nin death. The long, thin fingers grasped my own, and though they were\nvery, very cold, I felt that life was in them; and as I stooped down to\nkiss them I heard my husband\u2019s voice, very weak and feeble, saying in a\nwhisper, \u2018Mary.\u2019 I threw myself upon his bosom. In a moment the fear of\ndeath\u2014the longing for death\u2014the wild and terrible thoughts, all had gone;\nthe sound of that voice was life to me, and forgetful of his weakness,\nforgetful of everything but him, I threw myself upon his bosom and wept\ntears of joy.\n\n\u201cVery carefully and gently I raised him up, and, in the darkness, every\nwhispered word conveyed more meaning to my mind than all his eloquence\nin by-gone times. After some time I persuaded him to take a little\nnourishment\u2014miserable stuff that it was\u2014and presently he fell asleep\nagain. I laid his dear head upon the best pillow that I could make of\nsome of my own clothes, and then I slept a little myself\u2014not much, but it\nwas more refreshing than any sleep that had visited my eyes for a long\ntime past\u2014hope had come again.\n\n\u201cThe next morning my husband was evidently better, and I knelt down\nbeside him and thanked God for the miracle that He had wrought; for was\nit not a miracle thus to raise my dead to life again? How many stronger,\nstouter men than he had I seen fall sick and die; but to me God had shown\nmercy in my utmost need.\n\n\u201cWe waited three long days for the return of Captain Willie. My heart was\nso full of thankfulness that my husband had been spared that I certainly\ndid not feel so acutely the misery with which I was surrounded as I\notherwise should have done; I was like the prisoner who feels happy in a\nreprieve from death, but whose situation is nevertheless such as would\nappear to any other person the most wretched in which he could be placed.\nThe misery that was suffered in that camp was beyond the power of words\nto describe. On the second day they gave us some more beef-rations,\nbut they did us little good. The beef was, of course, of the poorest,\nand, eaten alone, it did not seem to satisfy hunger, and those who were\nprostrated by dysentery, although they ate it ravenously, suffered much\nin consequence afterwards.\n\n\u201cThe number of the sick rapidly increased, and not a few died from\nexhaustion; and really those seemed happiest who were thus taken from the\nhorrors which surrounded them. Had it not been for the intense frost, we\nshould all probably have fallen victims to the intolerable atmosphere of\nthe camp. I would not even allow my mind to recall some of the scenes\nwhich I witnessed at that time: scenes, the disgusting and filthy horrors\nof which no decent words could describe. When you consider the frightful\ncondition in which we were, the hunger and cold which we endured, you may\nperhaps be able in a small degree to conjecture\u2014as far as a person can\nconjecture who has not himself suffered such things\u2014what we then passed\nthrough. I saw poor miserable creatures, utterly worn out, dying in the\narms of other forlorn and hopeless creatures as wretched as themselves; I\nsaw strong and honest, honourable men, or who had once been such, begging\nof the captain for the miserable scraps which had been saved for the sick\nand the helpless children; I saw poor heart-broken mothers freezing to\ndeath, but clasping as they died, in an agony of loving woe, the torn\nand wretched remnants of clothing which they still retained, around the\nemaciated forms of their innocent babes\u2014the mother-instinct strong in\ndeath; and sometimes at night when, all unbidden, I see again in dreams\nthe awful sufferings of those poor God-forsaken wretches, I start in\nhorror and pray the Almighty rather to blot out from my mind the memory\nof _all_ the past, than to let me ever recollect, if but in fancy, that\nfearful time.\n\n\u201cThe third day came, and still no relief. There are mysterious powers of\nendurance in human nature, weak as we often deem it, but there is a point\nbeyond which the bow, however flexible, will not bend. It was evident\nthat if no help arrived speedily, the end was not far off.\n\n\u201cThe sun was sinking behind the distant western hills, in all the glory\nof the clear frosty atmosphere of the desert, and many who gazed upon\nits beauty did so with a mournful interest, believing that they would\nnever again behold the light of day. But at that moment some who were\nanxiously watching with a last hope\u2014watching for what they hardly dared\nexpect to see\u2014raised a shout of joy. We knew what it was! Men, women, and\nchildren rushed from their tents to welcome the approaching waggons and\nour friends in time of need. Captain Willie and the other Elder had found\nthe rescue from Salt Lake overtaken by the storm just as we were, but he\nhad told them of our terrible situation, and they had hastened on without\na moment\u2019s delay. It was he and they, convoying good supplies, who now\napproached us. The poor creatures shouted wildly for joy; even the strong\nmen shed tears; and the sisters, overcome with the sudden change from\ndeath to life, flung themselves into the arms of the brethren as they\ncame into the camp and covered them with kisses. Such happiness you never\nsaw\u2014every one shaking hands and speaking joyfully\u2014every one saying \u2018God\nbless you\u2019 with a meaning such as is seldom attached to those words.\n\n\u201cThe supplies were to us more than food and clothing\u2014they were life\nitself. Elder John Chislett was appointed to distribute the provisions\nand clothing, and everything was placed in his hands. He gave out to us\nall that was immediately necessary, but strongly cautioned us to be very\nmoderate in what we ate, as it was dangerous to go from the extreme of\nfasting to a full meal. After supper the clothing and bedding was fairly\ndivided, and we felt more thankful for those little comforts than a\nperson, who had never endured as we had, would have felt had he become\nsuddenly the recipient of boundless luxury.\n\n\u201cTwo of the Elders who had held forth such delusive hopes to the company,\nnot long before, as I have already told you, were with the brethren who\ncame to our relief. I have never ventured to ask how it was that they\ncould hold out to us in God\u2019s name such promises, when they must have\nknown after a moment\u2019s reflection, that they were utterly baseless; but\nI think that probably they left their comfortable homes in Salt Lake City\nand came across the stormy desert with supplies to meet us, only to show\npractically how anxious they were to atone for having led us astray. Next\nmorning Elder Grant went on east to meet the company following us, but\nElder W. H. Kimball took command of our company for the rest of the way.\n\n\u201cWe could now journey but very slowly, for the road was bad; the sick and\nweakly were, however, able to ride, and altogether we suffered less. To\nsome this change for the better arrived too late\u2014the mental and physical\nsufferings which they had endured were too much for them. Poor souls!\nthey alone and their Father in heaven knew what they had passed through.\nThey seemed to have lost all consciousness, as if their faculties had\nbeen numbed and stultified. We talked to them of the past, but they\nlooked at us with unmeaning eyes, as if we spoke of something in which\nthey had no interest; we tried to lead their thoughts to Zion, and the\npromises of the Lord; but it was all in vain. They turned from us with a\nlook of terrible apathy; and one or two, who partly seemed to understand,\nonly replied with an indifference painful to witness\u2014\u2018Too late, too late!\u2019\n\n\u201cAs we journeyed, the weather every day grew colder. Many of the\nunfortunate people lost their fingers and toes, others their ears; one\npoor woman lost her sight, and I was told of a poor sick man who held on\nto the waggon-bars to save himself from jolting, and had all his fingers\nfrozen off. Few, if any, of the people recovered from the effects of\nthat frost. One morning they found a poor old man who had vainly tried\nthe evening before to keep up with the rest. His corpse was not far\nfrom the camp, but it had been sadly mangled by the wolves. Then there\ncame another snow-storm, only worse in proportion as the weather was\ncolder, and it was with the utmost difficulty that we could be kept from\nfreezing. We wrapped blankets and anything else we could get around us,\nbut the cold wind penetrated to our very bones. I was told that some of\nthe people, even women and children, who lagged behind, were whipped so\nas to make them keep up, and to keep life in them. I did not see this\nmyself; but I believe, if the story was true, it was an act of mercy\nand not of cruelty, for to delay a moment was fatal. The captain of our\nhundred more than once stayed behind the company to bury some unfortunate\nperson who died on the road: how he ever got up with us again I cannot\ntell, but he seemed to be as indefatigable in his labours as he was\nwonderfully preserved.\n\n\u201cSometimes the carts came to a dead stand-still, and several had to be\nfastened together and drawn by a united effort, and in more than one\ninstance the poor people gave up altogether;\u2014they were carried on, while\nthey lived, as well as we could; but their carts were abandoned. The\nstragglers came in slowly to camp the night of the storm\u2014the people from\nthe Valley even went back to fetch some in\u2014and it was nearly six o\u2019clock\nin the morning before the last arrived.\n\n\u201cThe next day we remained in camp, for there were so many sick and dying\nthat we could not proceed. Early in the morning Elder Chislett and three\nother Elders went round to see who was dead, that they might be buried.\nThey found in the tents fifteen corpses\u2014all stiff and frozen. Two more\ndied during the day. A large square hole was dug, and they were buried in\nit three abreast, and then they were covered with leaves and earth, every\nprecaution being taken to keep them from the wolves. Few of the relatives\nof those who were dead came to the burial\u2014they did not seem to care\u2014death\nhad become familiar to them, and personal misery precluded sorrow for the\ndead.\n\n\u201cAs we drew nearer to Salt Lake Valley we met more of the brethren\ncoming to our assistance. They supplied us with all we needed, and then\nhastened on to meet those who followed us. The atmosphere seemed to\nbecome sensibly warmer, and our sufferings were proportionately less as\nwe approached Zion.\n\n\u201cWhat the feelings of others might have been when they first saw the goal\nof our hopes\u2014Zion of our prayers and songs\u2014I cannot tell. Weary, oh _so_\nweary I felt, but thankful, more than thankful, that my husband\u2019s life\nhad been spared. He was pale and sick, but he was with us still.\n\n\u201cI have written too much already, Sister Stenhouse. I cannot tell you\nmore now, but I may as well add that when we left Iowa City we were about\nfive hundred in all. Some left us on the way. When we left Florence,\nand began the journey across the Plains, we were over four hundred and\ntwenty, of which number we buried sixty-seven\u2014a sixth of the whole. The\ncompany which followed us, and to which I have frequently alluded, fared\nworse than we. They numbered six hundred when they started, but they\nburied one hundred and fifty on the journey\u2014one in every four. May God\ngrant that I may never again see such a sight as was presented by the\nmiserable remnant of that last company as they came on slowly through the\nCa\u00f1on towards Salt Lake Valley.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XVI.\n\nWE FORSAKE ALL, AND SET OUT FOR ZION:\u2014OUR JOURNEY ACROSS THE PLAINS.\n\n\nIT was with strange feelings of doubt and unrest that I read that painful\nstory; but I folded up Mary Burton\u2019s letter and stored it carefully away\nin my desk, and then I began to think.\n\nCertainly I was still a Mormon\u2014at least I was nothing else\u2014but I was not\nnow so firmly grounded in my faith as once I was, and these terrible\nstories completely unsettled my mind. Then, too, I was well aware that,\nbefore long, my husband and myself would be called upon to cross the\nPlains to Zion, and I felt that if our experience were anything like\nthat of Mary Burton, I and my children would never reach Salt Lake. The\nprospect was not very cheering.\n\nOne morning we were surprised to receive a visit from the Apostle George\nQ. Cannon, who had come to take the place of Mr. Stenhouse as President\nof the Mission in the Eastern States, and we were now to prepare to\ntravel with the next company of emigrants.\n\nTo me this was most unpleasant intelligence. Polygamy\u2014the knowledge\nthat before long I should be brought personally within its degrading\ninfluence\u2014had now for years been the curse of my life, and I had welcomed\nevery reprieve from immediate contact with it in Utah. But the time had\ncome at last when I was to realize my worst apprehensions, and I think\nat that time, had I been permitted to choose, I would have preferred to\ndie rather than journey to Zion. Besides this, ever since my husband had\nbeen engaged with the secular papers, we had been getting along very\ncomfortably. We had now a pleasant home and many comforts and little\nluxuries which we had not enjoyed since we left Switzerland, and I was\nbeginning to hope that we should be allowed to remain in New York for a\nfew years at least. We had also by this time six children\u2014the youngest\nonly a few days old\u2014and I leave it to any mother to determine whether I\nhad not good cause for vexation when I was told that we were expected\nto leave New York within two weeks, with the emigrants who were then _en\nroute_ from England. My husband also was to take charge of the company,\nand therefore everything would depend upon me\u2014all the preparations for\nour long and perilous journey, the disposal of our furniture, and, in\nfact, the thousand and one little necessary duties which must attend the\npacking up and departure of a family.\n\nIn the course of a few days the emigrants arrived, and then my husband\nwas compelled to devote all his time to them. When I told the Elders that\nit was almost impossible for me, in the delicate state of health in which\nI was, and with a babe only two weeks old, to undertake such a journey,\nthey told me that I had no faith in the power of God, and that if I\nwould arise and begin my preparations, the Lord would give me strength\naccording to my day. Thinking that probably my husband believed as they\ndid, I made the effort, but it cost me much. In the Mormon Church the\nfeelings or sufferings of women are seldom considered. If an order is\ngiven to any man to take a journey or perform any given task, his wife\nor wives are not to be thought of. They are his property just as much as\nhis horses, mules, or oxen; and if one wife should die, it is of little\nconsequence if he has others, and if he has not he can easily get them;\nand if he is not young or fascinating enough to win his way with the\nyoung ladies, he has only to keep on good terms with Brigham Young, or\neven with his bishop, and every difficulty will be smoothed away, and\nthey will be \u201ccounselled\u201d to marry him.\n\nIt is never expected, nor would it be tolerated in any Mormon woman,\nthat she should exercise her own judgment in opposition to her husband,\nno matter how much she might feel that he was in the wrong: I have\nfrequently seen intelligent women subjected to the grossest tyranny on\nthe part of ignorant and fanatical husbands who were influenced by the\nabsurd teachings of the Tabernacle. One of the greatest Mormon writers,\nOrson Pratt, has said,\u2014\n\n\u201c_The wife should never follow her own judgment in preference to that\nof her husband_; for if her husband desires to do right, but errs in\njudgment, the Lord will bless her in endeavouring to carry out his\ncounsels; for _God has placed him at the head_, and though he may err\nin judgment, yet God will not justify the wife in disregarding his\ninstructions and counsels; far greater is the sin of rebellion, than the\nerrors which arise from the want of judgment; therefore _she would be\ncondemned for suffering her will to rise against his. Be obedient_, and\nGod will cause all things to work for good.\u201d\n\nThe trouble and annoyance occasioned by leaving a comfortable position\nin New York to travel to such an unknown region as Utah was then, was\nnot a trifle; but we hastened our preparations, sacrificing all that we\npossessed in the most reckless manner, and in due time set out.\n\nWhen we reached Florence\u2014the starting-point on the Frontiers\u2014we were\ndetained on account of some mismanagement on the part of the Church\nAgents, and remained for three weeks in camp. Ours was what was called\n\u201can independent company;\u201d by which I mean that we were able to defray our\nown expenses without borrowing from the Church: the poorer emigrants were\nassisted from a fund provided for that purpose\u2014the Perpetual Emigration\nFund.\n\nOur company was in an infinitely better position than that of those\nemigrants of whose sad fate my friend Mary Burton had told me; for our\njourney was made at the proper season, and, as far as was possible under\nthe circumstances, convenience and comfort had been attended to. The\nincidents which befell us were few, and although, of course, every one\nof us felt weary and worn out, we were not called upon to pass through\nthe miseries and sufferings endured by the hand-cart emigrants. Looking\nback to our primitive mode of travelling, it appears to me almost as if\nI must be making some mistake about my own age, and that it must have\nbeen several centuries, instead of a few years ago, since we crossed\nthe Plains. The ox-team and waggon, the walk on foot in the day and the\ncamp-life at night, have been pleasantly exchanged for the swift travel\nof a few days in a Pullman palace-car.\n\nWhat living contradictions we were as we crossed the Plains\u2014singing in\na circle, night and morning, the songs of Zion and listening to prayers\nand thanksgivings for having been permitted to gather out of Babylon; and\nthen during the day as we trudged along in twos and threes expressing to\neach other all our misgivings, and doubts, and fears, and the bitterness\nour thoughts against Polygamy; while each wife, confiding in her\nhusband\u2019s honour and faithfulness, solaced herself with the hope that all\nmight yet be well. How little sometimes do the songs of gladness reflect\nthe real sentiments of the heart. How often have I heard many a poor\nheart-broken woman singing the chorus,\u2014\n\n    \u201cI never knew what joy was\n    Till I became a Mormon.\u201d\n\nI never could sing that song, for my experience had been exactly the\nreverse.\n\nIt was the month of September\u2014the beginning of our beautiful Indian\nsummer\u2014when we emerged from the ca\u00f1on, and caught sight of Salt Lake\nCity. Everything looked green and lovely, and in spite of all my sad\nforebodings while crossing the Plains, I involuntarily exclaimed, \u201cAh,\nwhat a glorious spot!\u201d It looked like a beautiful garden\u2014another Eden\u2014in\nthe midst of a desert valley. We had a glimpse of the Great Salt Lake\nfar away in the distance, stretching out like a placid sheet of molten\nsilver, while everywhere around were the lonely-looking snow-clapped\nmountains, encircling us like mighty prison-walls.\n\nIt would be impossible for me to describe my feelings at that time.\nEven while I was enchanted with the glorious prospect before me, there\narose again in my mind that haunting spectre of my existence\u2014Polygamy. I\nbelieved that this little earthly paradise would probably be to me, and\nmy daughters after me, a prison-house, and with a mother\u2019s instinct I\nshuddered as I thought of what they might be destined to suffer there.\nLovely as the scene was, there was a fatal shadow overhanging it all.\nThen, too, there was no escape: if the sad forebodings of my heart were\nrealized, it would be utterly impossible for us ever to get away. The\nidea of a railway being constructed across those desert plains and rocky\nmountains never for a moment entered my mind, and even had I thought\nit possible, I should have supposed that it would take a lifetime to\ncomplete. No, there was no help for me, even if it came to the worst. I\nfelt that my doom was sealed; and there were many women in our company\nwho thought just the same as I did, and who were troubled at heart with\nfears as sad as mine.\n\nMy first impressions of Salt Lake City when we began life there were\nanything but pleasant\u2014we had to \u201crough it.\u201d For nearly two weeks we were\nobliged to remain in our waggons, as it was quite impossible to obtain\nhouse-room. At that time each family built their own little hut, and\nthere were no vacant houses to let.\n\n[Illustration: VIEW OF MAIN STREET, SALT LAKE CITY.\n\n(_From a Photograph._)\n\n_To face p. 148._]\n\nThe weather was now growing very cold and wintry, and it was absolutely\nnecessary that we should have some better shelter than the waggons\nafforded. One day my husband told me, when he came home, that he had\nbeen offered a house which belonged to the Church. It was in a very\ndilapidated condition, he said, but that if I would go and look at it\nwith him, we could then decide about taking it. No time was to be\nlost, for companies of emigrants were coming in almost daily, and if we\nneglected this chance we might not find another.\n\nWhen we arrived at the house I was much discouraged at seeing the\ncondition it was in: the window-panes were all cracked or broken out, the\nfloors and walls looked as if they had never known soap or paint, and the\nupper rooms had no ceilings; in fact it was not fit for any civilized\nChristian to live in. In point of size there was nothing to complain of,\nbut of comfort or convenience there was none\u2014the wind whistled through\nevery door and every cracked window; and altogether it presented anything\nbut a cheering prospect for winter.\n\nMy husband told me that Daniel H. Wells, who was superintendent of Church\nproperty and also one of the First Presidency of the Church, had promised\nhim that if we took the house it should be repaired and made fit for\nliving in before winter fully set in; and under the circumstances we\nthought we could do no better than accept his offer.\n\nThus we began housekeeping in Utah, and we unpacked our trunks and tried\nto give the place as home-like an appearance as we possibly could. I\nhad known what it was to be in a strange country and destitute; and,\ntherefore, benefiting by experience, when I left New York, regardless of\nthe teachings of the Elders and of my own husband\u2019s directions to the\ncontrary, I had secretly stowed away many little necessaries towards\nhousekeeping. Indeed had I not done so, we should have been as badly off\nwhen we reached Zion as when we arrived in New York. Besides which, I\nhave no doubt that our waggons would have been filled with the trunks\nof those very brethren who counselled us not to take more than was\nabsolutely necessary. The brethren who gave this counsel were, I noticed,\nconstantly purchasing while they advised every one else to sell, and I\nthought it wiser to follow their example than their precepts.\n\nAmong my treasures was some carpet, and when that was laid down and the\nstove put up we began to feel almost at home. The wind, however, soon\ndrove away all thoughts of comfort, for it came whistling in through\na thousand undetected crevices, and the tallow candles which we were\nobliged to burn presented a woeful spectacle. Even the most wealthy,\nthen, had no other light but candles, and every family had to make their\nown: I have often seen people burning a little melted grease with a bit\nof cotton-rag stuck in the middle for a wick\u2014how pleasant the smell,\nand how brilliant the light thus produced can be imagined. Everything\nwas upon the same scale\u2014and to keep house in any fashion was really a\nformidable undertaking, especially to those who had been accustomed to\nthe conveniences of large towns. I believe that many women consented to\ntheir husbands taking other wives for the sake of getting some assistance\nin their home duties.\n\nWe spent nearly all the first evening in our new house in trying to\ndiscover some means of keeping out the storm, but to little purpose.\nNearly a fortnight passed before any one came to see about repairing the\nhouse, but as it belonged to the Church my husband seemed to think it\nmust be all right. The Mormon men are always very lenient towards \u201cthe\nChurch\u201d\u2014very much more so than the Mormon women, for the latter have\nsomehow got mixed up in their minds the idea that Brigham Young and \u201cthe\nChurch\u201d are synonymous terms. I remember one day a good young sister\u2014a\ndaughter of one of the twelve Apostles\u2014saying to me, \u201cI have just seen\nthe Church,\u201d and when I asked her what she meant, she said, \u201cI have just\nmet Brigham Young and Hyram Clawson, and are they not the Church?\u201d It was\nevident to me that others besides myself sometimes gave way to wicked\nthoughts. Nevertheless I was still of opinion that \u201cthe Church\u201d had\nplenty of money and ought to have repaired the house.\n\nOne day a man whom I had never seen before, called upon me and asked what\nrepairs I should like done. I was not feeling very well, and had been\nannoyed at the delay, and I answered rather ungraciously that I should\nlike anything done, if it were only done at once, for I thought we had\nwaited long enough. He answered me very politely, and said that he would\nsee to it immediately. When Mr. Stenhouse returned home in the evening,\nhe said, \u201cSo you have had a visit from President Wells.\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d I said,\n\u201cthere has been no one here but a carpenter\u2014an ugly man with a cast in\nhis eye, and I told him that I wanted the house fixed right away.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy, that was President Wells,\u201d he said, very much shocked, and I think\nI felt as bad as he did when I realized that I had treated one of the\n\u201cFirst Presidency\u201d so unceremoniously.\n\nThis Daniel H. Wells, besides being an Apostle, a Counsellor of Brigham\nYoung, and one of the three \u201cPresidents\u201d who share with Brigham the first\nposition in the Church, and are associated with him in all his official\nacts, was Lieutenant-General of the Nauvoo Legion, and at the present\ntime and for some years past Mayor of Salt Lake City. It was a shocking\nindiscretion, to say the least, to speak slightingly of such a high and\nmighty personage.\n\nThe repairs, however, were seen to, and the house rendered a little more\nhabitable. We had now to begin the struggle of life afresh, and could\nnot afford to be too particular about trifles;\u2014to obtain shelter was\nsomething\u2014for the rest we must still continue to hope and trust.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XVII.\n\nMY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF THE CITY OF THE SAINTS.\n\n\nWhen I arrived in Salt Lake City, a great many improvements had been\neffected; and expecting, as I did that this would be our future home for\nmany years, perhaps for life, I was interested in everything that I saw.\n\nThe first Sunday I went to the Tabernacle I was greatly amused at the\nway in which some of the sisters were dressed. Quite a number wore\nsun-bonnets, but the majority wore curious and diverse specimens of\nthe milliner\u2019s art\u2014relics of former days. Some wore a little tuft of\ngauze and feathers on the top of the head, while others had helmets of\nextraordinary size. There were little bonnets, half-grown bonnets, and\n\u201cgrandmother bonnets\u201d with steeple crowns and fronts so large that it was\ndifficult to get a peep at the faces which they concealed. As for the\ndresses, they were as diversified as the bonnets. Some of them presented\na rather curious spectacle. I noticed two young women who sat near me:\nthey were dressed alike in green calico sun-bonnets, green calico skirts,\nand pink calico sacks. On inquiring who they were, I was told that they\nwere the wives of one man, and had both been married to him on the same\nday, so that neither could claim precedence of the other. Outside of\nUtah such a thing would seem impossible; but so many of the young girls\nat that time came out to Zion without father or mother or any one else\nto guide them; and left to their own inexperience and afraid to disobey\n\u201ccounsel,\u201d it is no wonder that they soon yielded to the universal custom.\n\nThe two young women whom I have mentioned did not appear to me to be\noverburdened with intelligence; they looked like girls who could be made\nto believe anything; but after that I met with two well-educated women\nwho, like these foolish girls, thoughtlessly tried the experiment of two\nor more marrying the same man on the same day, agreeing with their \u201clord\u201d\nthat that would be the best way to preserve peace in their household.\nBut they were terribly mistaken; and even before the marriage-day was\nover, the poor bewildered husband had to fly to Brother Brigham for\ncounsel.\n\nThe Tabernacle services seemed to me as strange as the women. There\nwas no regular order in conducting the proceedings, but the prominent\nbrethren made prayers or \u201csermons\u201d as they were called upon to do so.\nThe \u201csermons\u201d would be more properly called speeches; they are nothing\nbut a rambling, disconnected glorification of the Saints, interspersed\nwith fearful denunciations of the Gentiles, and not unfrequently a good\nsprinkling of words and expressions such as are never used in decent\nsociety. More unedifying discourses could hardly be imagined. As for the\nspirituality and devotional feeling which characterized our meetings in\nEngland, they were only conspicuous by their absence, and many devout\nSaints have told me that when they first went there, before the erection\nof the great organ, the free-and-easy manners of the speakers and the\nbrass band which was stationed in front of the platform, made them feel\nas if they had come to witness a puppet-show rather than to attend a\nreligious meeting.\n\nThere was one lady at the Tabernacle service whom I regarded with\nconsiderable interest. This was no other than Eliza R. Snow, one of the\nProphet\u2019s wives. I was told that she was the first woman married in\nPolygamy after Joseph Smith received the Revelation, and I believed it\nwas so. People who lived in Nauvoo, respectable people, and not one or\ntwo either, have assured me that for four years before Joseph is said to\nhave received the Revelation, he was practising Polygamy, or something\nworse, and that the Revelation was given to justify what was already\ndone. However this might be, it is generally understood that Miss Eliza\nSnow was the first plural wife of the Prophet. Her principal occupation\nat the present time is converting rebellious wives to obedience to their\nhusbands, and convincing young girls that it is their duty to enter into\nPolygamy. Unhappy husbands derive great consolation from her counsels.\nIn matters of religion she is a perfect fanatic, and in connexion with\nthe Female Relief Society she reigns supreme; but otherwise there are\nmany excellent traits in her character, and I could tell of many acts of\nloving-kindness and self-denial which she has performed, and which will\nsurely have their reward. As the chief poet of the Mormon Church, and as\nthe Representative of Eve in the mysteries of the Endowment House, she\nenjoys a reputation such as would be impossible to any other woman among\nthe Saints.\n\nAnother of the late Joseph\u2019s wives is a Mrs. Doctor Jacobs, who was\nactually married to the Prophet while she was still living with her\noriginal husband, Jacobs. Under the same circumstances she married\nBrigham Young, after Joseph\u2019s death. For some time her husband knew\nnothing of the whole affair, but Brigham very soon gave him to understand\nthat his company was not wanted. The sister of Mrs. Jacobs\u2014a Mrs.\nBuel\u2014was another of Joseph\u2019s wives, and she married the Apostle Heber C.\nKimball, but does not appear to have made a very good bargain.\n\nBesides these there is another lady, a Mrs. Shearer\u2014or, as she is\nfamiliarly called\u2014\u201cAunty Shearer.\u201d She is in every respect a unique\nspecimen of womanhood, tall and angular, with cold yet eager grey eyes; a\nwoman of great volubility, and altogether grim-looking and strong-minded.\nShe was an early disciple, and is said to have sacrificed everything\nfor Mormonism. She lived in Joseph Smith\u2019s family, and, of course, saw\nand heard a great deal about Polygamy, and at first it was a great\nstumbling-block to her. She was, however, instructed by the immaculate\nJoseph, and so far managed to overcome her feelings as to be married to\nhim for eternity. Like the others, she is called \u201cMrs.,\u201d and I suppose\nthere is a _Mr._ Shearer somewhere, but upon that point she is very\nreticent. Her little lonely hut is fitted with innumerable curiosities\nand little knick-knacks, which some people are for ever hoarding away in\nthe belief that they will come into use some day. She is a woman that\none could not easily forget. She wears a muslin cap with a very wide\nborder flapping in the wind under a comical-looking hood, and is easily\nrecognized by her old yellow marten-fur cape and enormous muff: her\ndress, which is of her own spinning and weaving, is but just wide enough,\nand its length could never inconvenience her. Add to these personal\nornaments a stout pair of brogues, and you will see before you \u201cAunty\nShearer,\u201d one of the Prophet\u2019s spiritual wives.\n\nI may as well explain what is meant by \u201cspiritual\u201d wives and \u201cproxy\u201d\nwives.\n\nMarriages contracted by the Gentiles, or by Mormons in accordance with\nGentile institutions, are not considered binding by the Saints. That was\npartly the cause of my indignation and the indignation of many another\nwife and mother. We were told that we had never been married at all,\nand that our husbands and our children were not lawfully ours: surely\nthat was enough to excite the indignation of any wife, whatever her\nfaith might be. For a marriage to be valid it must be solemnized in the\nEndowment House in Salt Lake City, or the persons contracting it can\nnever expect to be husband and wife in eternity. Should the husband die\nbefore he reaches Zion, and if the wife loves him sufficiently well\nto wish to be his in eternity\u2014when she arrives in Salt Lake City, if\nshe receives an offer of marriage from one of the brethren, and does\nnot object to him as a second husband in this world, she will make an\nagreement with him that she will be his wife, _for time_, but that in\neternity she and all her children shall be handed over to the first\nhusband. A woman thus married is called a \u201cproxy\u201d wife.\n\nNow \u201cspiritual\u201d wives are of two classes. The one consists of old ladies\nwho have plenty of money or property which of course needs looking after;\nand generous Elders marry them, and accordingly \u201clook after\u201d the said\nproperty, and the owner of it becomes the Elder\u2019s _spiritual_ wife. She\nwill only be his _real_ wife in eternity when she is rejuvenated.\n\nThe other kind of \u201cspiritual\u201d wife is one who is married already, but who\ndoes not think that her husband can \u201cexalt\u201d her to so high a position in\nthe celestial world as she deserves\u2014perhaps some kind brother who takes\na great interest in her welfare has told her so\u2014she then is _secretly_\n\u201c_sealed_\u201d to one of the brethren who is better able to exalt her\u2014perhaps\nto this same brother; and in the resurrection she will pass from him who\nwas her husband on earth to him who is to be her husband in heaven\u2014_if\nshe has not done so before_.\n\nThis is what is meant by \u201cproxy\u201d and \u201cspiritual\u201d wives. I think it will\nbe evident even to the dullest comprehension that under such a system,\n\u201cthe world, the flesh, and the devil\u201d are far more likely to play a\nprominent part than anything heavenly or spiritual.\n\nAll this is so repugnant to the instincts and feelings of a true woman,\nthat I feel quite ashamed to write about it. And yet the working out\nof this system has produced results which would be perfectly grotesque\nwere it not that they outrage every ordinary sense of propriety. Let\nme give an example. One of the wives of Brigham Young\u2014Mrs. Augustus\nCobb Young\u2014a highly educated and intelligent Boston lady with whom I am\nintimately acquainted, requested of her Prophet husband a favour of a\nmost extraordinary description. She had forsaken her lawful husband and\nfamily and a happy and luxurious home to join the Saints, under the\nimpression that Brigham Young would make her his queen in heaven. She was\na handsome woman\u2014a woman of many gifts and graces\u2014and Brigham thoroughly\nappreciated her; but she made a slight miscalculation in respect to the\nProphet. He cares little enough for his first wife, poor lady, and few\npeople who know him doubt for a moment that he would un-queen her and\ncut her adrift for time and eternity too, if his avaricious soul saw the\nslightest prospect of gain by doing so; he did not care for her, but he\nnever would allow himself to be dictated to by any woman. So when the\nlady of whom I speak asked him to place her at the head of his household,\nhe refused: she begged hard, but he would not relent. Then finding\nthat she could not be Brigham\u2019s \u201cqueen,\u201d and having been taught by the\nhighest Mormon authorities that our Saviour had, and has, many wives, she\nrequested to be \u201csealed to Him!\u201d Brigham Young told her (for what reason\nI do not know) that it really was out of his power to do that, but that\nhe would do \u201cthe next best thing\u201d for her\u2014he would \u201cseal\u201d her to Joseph\nSmith. She was sealed to Joseph Smith, and though Brigham still supports\nher, and she is called by his name on earth, in the resurrection she will\nleave him and go over to the original Prophet.\n\nThe reader will be certainly shocked at this terrible burlesque of sacred\nthings, but I felt it my duty to state the truth and place facts in their\nright light. It is not generally known that the Mormons are taught that\nthe marriage at Cana of Galilee was Christ\u2019s own nuptial feast, that Mary\nand Martha were his plural wives, and that those women who in various\nparts of the New Testament are spoken of as ministering to him stood to\nhim in the same relation.\n\nMalicious first wives, especially if they are rather elderly themselves,\nfrequently call the proxy wives \u201cfixins;\u201d and the tone in which some\nof them utter the word is in the last degree contemptuous. These poor\n\u201cfixins\u201d are seldom treated as real wives by the husband himself. He may\nthink sufficiently well of the \u201cproxy\u201d wife to make her his for time\nand to raise up children to his friend, as the Elders say, but he never\nforgets that in eternity she will be handed over to the man for whom he\nhas stood proxy, and he expects that she also will bear that in mind,\nand do all she can for her own support, and never complain of his want\nof attention to her. Some men, after having married a young proxy wife,\nhave become so enamoured that they grew jealous of the dead husband, and\nhave tried to get the wife to break faith with him, and be married to\nthem for eternity as well as time. This was certainly rather mean. Very\nfew Gentile husbands would fret themselves about possibilities in the\nworld to come, if in this world they had the certainty of enjoying the\nundivided affections of their wives.\n\nMormon husbands are so influenced by their religion that they neither\nact nor think like other men. I am thinking of one wretched family that\nI knew soon after I went to Utah. There was a man and his wife and four\nchildren, all living together in a miserable, poverty-stricken hut. I had\nheard that the man was paying attentions to a young girl with a view of\nmaking her his second wife, and I frequently watched the first wife as\nshe went in and out, doing her \u201cchores,\u201d and wondered how she felt about\nit. The poverty of the man, of course, was of no consequence; living\nin the primitive style in which necessity then compelled the Saints to\nlive, one, or even half-a-dozen extra wives made very little difference,\nand Brigham and the leading Elders have always represented it as a\nmeritorious act, for the young especially, to \u201cbuild up the kingdom,\u201d\nwithout regard to consequences, or the misery of bringing up a family in\na destitute condition. I never can see children without loving them, and\nin this case it was not long before I contrived to make acquaintance with\nthe little ones. One day, while I was talking to them, the mother came\nout. She seemed pleased to see me, for she had heard of me that I was not\ntoo strong in the faith, and she told me that her husband had said, in\nspeaking of such women as myself, who did not like the celestial order\nof marriage, that their husbands ought to force them right into it, and\nthat would show what they were made of: if they were true-hearted women,\nseeking their husband\u2019s glory and \u201cexaltation\u201d in the world to come,\nthey would bear it well enough; and if not, the sooner it killed them\nthe better; for if they were dead their husbands could save them in the\nresurrection, but if they lived they would only be an incumbrance.\n\nThis, I found, was the general opinion among the Mormon men. Even in\nEngland the American Elders had taught us that the man was the head and\n\u201csaviour\u201d of the woman, and that the woman was only responsible to her\nhusband. It was necessary, we were told, that the woman should keep in\nfavour with her lord, otherwise he might withdraw his protection and\nrefuse to take her into the celestial kingdom; in which case when she got\nto heaven she would only be an angel! To be an angel is not considered\nby the Saints to be by any means the highest state of glory. Those who\ndo not obey the \u201cCelestial Order of Marriage\u201d will, like the angels,\nneither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be located, the men in\none place, and the women in another, and will serve as slaves, lackeys,\nand boot-blacks to the Saints. Brigham Young once publicly said of a\ncertain President of the United States, that he would clean the boots\nof the Mormon leaders in heaven. He did not say this as a figure of\nspeech, but meant it literally. Those who have obeyed the Gospel of the\nnew dispensation, but who have failed to enter into Polygamy, will be as\nupper servants; but the rebellious\u2014the \u201cvile apostates\u201d and the \u201cwicked\nGentiles\u201d\u2014will join the angels and do all the drudgery for the men of\nmany wives. Thus I learned in Zion that my youthful notions about the\nglory of the cherubim were quite a mistake, and that it was not such a\nfine thing to be an angel after all.\n\nBut I have run away from my story, and had almost forgotten my poor\nacquaintance. She was a woman who was likely to preserve a painful place\nin the memory of any one who once saw her. Her face was pale as death,\nand her jet-black eyes glistened with an unearthly lustre; it was easy to\nperceive that she was very unhappy, although she tried hard to exhibit a\ncheerful disposition, and when our conversation turned to that subject\nwhich to women here is all-absorbing, the nervous twitching of her pale\nface showed how deeply painful such thoughts were to her. She told me\nthat her husband was soon to be married to a young girl about fourteen\nyears of age. \u201cDo you see,\u201d she said, \u201cthat he is building for her?\u201d And\nsure enough he was, at odd hours, adding another hut to the miserable\nhovel in which they already lived; and thither, when it was finished, he\nintended to take his bride. As I looked at the poor wife, I felt little\ndoubt that ere that time came, her troubles on earth would have ended,\nand her little ones would be motherless.\n\nThe Mormon women, as well as the Mormon men, are noted for attending to\ntheir own business\u2014they do not care to tell their sorrows and trials\nto strangers or to people who are not of their own faith. In this\nway visitors to Salt Lake who have gone there with the intention of\n\u201cwriting-up\u201d the Saints in the newspapers or in a book, have generally\nbeen misled. My own experience as a Mormon woman leads me to form\nanything but a flattering opinion of the Mormon stories told by Gentile\npens. The following instance will show that the sisters are not quite so\nfree in giving their experience as some writers would suggest.\n\nOne day, while passing through the city, I saw a young woman running\nacross the road with a little child in her arms. The child was crying\npiteously, for the water was running from its clothing, and I saw in\na moment that it had fallen into the stream which ran in front of\nthe house. I followed, to see if I could be of any assistance, but\nfortunately found that the little creature was not seriously hurt, but\nwould soon recover from the fright and cold. I helped the mother to\nchange its clothing, and while she was lulling her baby to sleep we\nentered into conversation. At first she appeared to be very shy of me,\nand avoided speaking of anything in the slightest degree personal; but\ngrowing more interested, she said at last,\u2014\n\n\u201cAre you a Mormon?\u201d\n\n\u201cCertainly,\u201d I answered; \u201cbut why do you ask me?\u201d\n\n\u201cBecause,\u201d she said, \u201cwe have had one or two Gentile women among us, and\nthey go round among our people and question the women, and get them to\ntell their troubles, which God knows are heavy enough; and then they go\nand write about it, and Brigham Young finds it out, and their husbands\nare called to account for allowing their wives to speak to the Gentiles.\nYou are sure you are a Mormon?\u201d she added, \u201cand you are not deceiving me?\u201d\n\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry you should think such a thing,\u201d I said; \u201cbut if you suppose I\nwould deceive you, I will not trouble you with my company.\u201d And I rose up\nto leave.\n\n\u201cDo not go yet,\u201d she said, \u201cand pray forgive me, if I have wounded your\nfeelings; it is simply the fear I have of getting into trouble. Brigham\nYoung and the Elders have frequently told us to have nothing to do with\nthe Gentiles, for they are enemies to the kingdom of God, and are seeking\nour overthrow\u2014and I suppose it is true.\u201d\n\n\u201cHow long have you been here?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cOver two years,\u201d she replied, \u201cand it seems almost twenty\u2014time has\npassed so slowly. I left father and mother, sisters and brother, for the\nGospel\u2019s sake, and I do not regret it, because it is right; but it was a\nvery great sacrifice to make. Yet I believe that God blesses us for the\nsacrifices we make, and I shall get my reward.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou have it already,\u201d I said, \u201cin that pretty child on your knee; and\nyour husband, I hope, is a good man and kind to you.\u201d\n\n\u201cYes,\u201d she answered, \u201cmy child is a very great source of happiness to\nme, and I love my husband very much, but\u2014\u201d (hesitatingly) \u201care _you_ in\nPolygamy?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, not yet; but I do not know how soon my husband may take it into his\nhead to get another wife.\u201d\n\n\u201cAre you first wife?\u201d she asked.\n\n\u201cYes,\u201d I replied, \u201cand I suppose you are also?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, I am third wife,\u201d she said, \u201cI wish I were first wife.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut why,\u201d I suggested, \u201cdo you wish that? If Polygamy is the true order\nof marriage, I do not see that it makes much difference whether one is\nthe first or the twentieth wife?\u201d\n\n\u201cOh dear, yes,\u201d she replied, \u201cit _does_ make a great deal of difference;\nfor the first wife will be queen over all the others, and reign with her\nhusband. If I had known that before I was married, I should have made my\nhusband promise to place me first. Men can do that if they like.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut do you think you would be doing right in trying to gain the position\nof first wife in that way?\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy not?\u201d she said; \u201cdidn\u2019t Jacob obtain his brother\u2019s birthright by\ndeception\u2014and was he ever punished for it? Do you think that Brother\nBrigham, notwithstanding that he is the inspired servant of God, could\nhave obtained his position, and all his money, by simple honest dealing?\nIf you think so, I don\u2019t; and it is just as proper and right for us women\nto secure a position for ourselves by such means as it is for Brigham\nYoung\u2014the end justifies the means.\u201d\n\n\u201cIf that is so,\u201d I said, \u201cit is a wonder to me that any woman should\nconsent to become second, third, or fourth wife\u2014seeing they cannot be\nqueens.\u201d\n\n\u201cI can see that you have not yet had your \u2018Endowments,\u2019\u201d she said, \u201cor\nyou would understand more about these things; but as you are a good\nMormon, I can speak freely to you. You see it is not always those who are\nfirst wives in this world who will be first in the celestial kingdom. It\nall depends upon the amount of sacrifice the wife is capable of making\nfor her husband, her faithfulness to him, and the number of children\nshe has borne him. If she pleases him in every particular, and is good,\npatient, and above all things obedient to all his wishes and commands,\nthen she is almost certain to be made queen, unless the first wife is\njust as good, and then I don\u2019t know how they would fix that. And so you\nsee it is safer to be first wife at once.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, but,\u201d I asked, \u201cknowing all this, I am surprised that you\nconsented to be third wife!\u201d\n\n\u201cBut I did not know it then,\u201d she continued. \u201cMy husband told me that\n_all_ the wives were queens\u2014all equal\u2014and he says so still when I talk\nto him about it. But he can\u2019t deceive me. I have spoken to some of the\nold Nauvoo women who know all about it, and they tell me that all the\nPolygamic wives will be subject to the first wife; but the first wife,\nhaving suffered most, will be the one who has gone through the fire and\nbeen purified, and found worthy.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut do you think that your husband would wish to deceive you about such\nan important matter?\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cWait till you have lived a little longer here,\u201d she replied, \u201cand you\nwill be able to answer that question yourself, or else your experience\nwill be very different from that of the rest of the people here.\u201d\n\nJust then the husband made his appearance, and put an end to the\nconversation. He was a tall, dark-looking man, with grey hair, old enough\nto be her father. He appeared to be well educated and to have seen\nbetter days, though everything about their home indicated poverty\u2014the\nroom in which we were sitting had no carpet on the floor, there was a\nplain white-pine table in the middle, a small sheet-iron stove, four\nwooden chairs, a small looking-glass, and some cheap pictures. This was\nthe sitting-room for the whole family\u2014three wives, eleven children, one\nhusband. He asked me if I had seen the rest of the family.\n\nI replied negatively, and he said he would see if any of them were\nabout. Presently he returned accompanied by an elderly woman whom he\nintroduced as Mrs. Simpson. Then came another, not quite as good-looking\nas the first, but a great deal younger, and he introduced her as \u201cMy\nwife Ellen. And this one,\u201d he said, turning to the one with whom I had\nbeen conversing, \u201cis my wife Sarah. Don\u2019t you think I have got three\nfine-looking women?\u201d Then, after a pause, he added, \u201cAnd they are just\nas good as they are good-looking\u2014good, obedient wives. I have no trouble\nwith them; my wishes are law in this house. Here you have a family in\nwhich the Spirit of God reigns. We are not rich in worldly goods, as you\nsee, but we are laying up treasure in heaven. We all live in this little\nhome of four rooms. My wife Ellen here, has given up her room for a\nparlour for us all to meet together in, and she sleeps in a waggon-box;\nit is not the most comfortable, but she never grumbles. Then, here is\nour Sarah; we are obliged to humour her a little, and give her a room\nall to herself. She is young and inexperienced, and doesn\u2019t like to put\nup with the inconveniences that the Saints have to bear with; while old\nmother here has got to have half-a-dozen children in her room, but she\nnever complains.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy did you not wait,\u201d I said, \u201cuntil you had a larger house?\u201d\n\n\u201cThen where would my kingdom be?\u201d he answered, \u201cYoung men may wait, but\nold men must improve their time.\u201d\n\nThere came in now a troop of children of all ages. They had been playing\nin the lot, were miserably clad, barefooted, and some looked gaunt\nand hungry:\u2014manners to match. \u201cThese,\u201d he said, with all a father\u2019s\nfondness\u2014\u201cthese constitute my kingdom, and I am proud of them.\u201d\n\nI felt thankful that I was not destined to be queen over such a kingdom,\nwished them good-bye, and with a sad heart went home to my own darling\nlittle ones, not knowing what might be _their_ fate.\n\n[Illustration: Brigham Young]\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XVIII.\n\nBRIGHAM YOUNG AT HOME:\u2014WE VISIT THE PROPHET AND HIS WIVES.\n\n\nShortly after our arrival in Salt Lake City we visited President Young,\nwho received us very graciously and appointed an early day for us to dine\nwith him.\n\nOn that occasion he invited some of the Apostles and leading men to meet\nus at his table, and we passed an exceedingly pleasant evening. The\nProphet made himself very affable; talked with us about our missionary\nlife and other subjects of personal and general interest; and expressed\na high opinion of the energy and ability which my husband had displayed.\nHis wives, too,\u2014whom I found, as far as I could judge from such a casual\nacquaintance, to be amiable and kind-hearted ladies,\u2014made every effort to\nrender our visit agreeable.\n\nI was much pleased with the manner and appearance of Brigham Young, and\nfelt greatly reassured; for he did not seem to me like a man who would\npreach and practise such things as I had heard of him while I was in\nLondon. This I was glad to see, for it encouraged me to think that,\nperhaps, after all, matters might not be so bad as I had anticipated.\nWe were, in fact, very kindly received in Salt Lake City by every one\nwith whom we came in contact; for having been Missionaries for so many\nyears, we were, of course, well known by name, and had a wide circle of\nacquaintances among the chief Elders and emigrants.\n\nFifteen years have, of course, worked a great change in the appearance of\nBrigham Young; but though he is now nearly seventy-three years of age, he\nis still a portly-looking\u2014I might almost say handsome man. His good looks\nare not of the poetic or romantic kind at all; he is very common-place\nand practical in his appearance, but long and habitual exercise of\ndespotic authority has stamped itself upon his features, and is seen\neven in the way he carries himself: he might without any stretch of the\nimagination be mistaken for a retired sea-captain.\n\nWhen I first knew him, in appearance he was little over fifty years of\nage, was of medium height, well built, upright, and, as I just stated,\nhad the air of one accustomed to be obeyed. His hair was light,\u2014sandy,\nI suppose I ought to call it,\u2014with eyes to match; and the expression\nof his countenance was pleasant and manly. I, of course, regarded him\nfrom a woman\u2019s stand-point; but there were others who were accustomed to\nstudy physiognomy, and they detected\u2014or thought they detected\u2014in the cold\nexpression of his eye and the stern, hard lines of his lips, evidences of\ncruelty, selfishness, and dogged determination which, it is only fair to\nsay, I myself never saw.\n\nThe lines on his face have deepened of late years, as what little of\ngentleness his heart ever knew has died out within him; but still he\npresents the appearance of a man who would afford a deep study to the\nobserver of human nature. In early life he had to work hard for a living,\nand according to his own statement he had a rough time of it. He was, by\ntrade, a painter and glazier, and has frequently said in public that in\nthose times he was glad to work for \u201csix bits\u201d a day, and to keep his\nhands busy from morning to night to get even that. Whether or not the\nprivations of early years fostered in him that avaricious and grasping\nspirit which of late years has been so conspicuous in him, I cannot say,\nbut it is certain that it cropped out very early in his career as a\nSaint. An old Nauvoo Missionary,\u2014a Mormon of the Mormons once, but now,\nalas! a \u201cvile apostate\u201d as Brigham would politely call him,\u2014once told me\nthat when the Prophet Joseph Smith sent the Apostle Young on Mission, a\ngood deal of discontent was shown that the said Apostle did not account\nproperly for the collections and tithings which passed through his hands.\nBrother Joseph who was _then_ \u201cthe Church\u201d suggested in a pleasant\nway\u2014for the Prophet Smith was a big, jovial fellow, six feet two or three\ninches in height, and withal somewhat of a humorist\u2014that the said Apostle\nBrigham would appear in his eyes a better Saint if he displayed a little\nless love for filthy lucre. Thereupon the Apostle, like somebody else who\nshall be nameless, quoted Scripture, and reminded the Prophet that Moses\nhad said, \u201cThou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out\nthe corn.\u201d \u201cTrue, Brother Brigham,\u201d said Joseph, \u201cbut Moses did not say\nthe ox was to eat up _all_ the corn.\u201d Brother Brigham made no reply, but\nis said to have \u201csulked\u201d for two or three days.\n\nI have often heard intelligent Gentiles remark, \u201cWell, Brigham Young may\nbe a wicked man and an impostor, but there _must_ be a great deal of\ntalent in him, to manage those people for so many years.\u201d\n\nFrom this opinion I altogether dissent; and those who know Brigham best,\nthink with me, though many of them would not dare to say so. I do not\nthink Brigham Young a wicked man or an impostor in the sense in which\nthose words are ordinarily used; but experience, and a careful study of\nhis life and doings, have convinced me that he is certainly not a great\nman or a man of genius in _any_ sense of the word. There can be no doubt\nthat he has been guilty of many and great crimes, but I believe that in\nthe early part of his career he was so blinded by fanaticism that those\ncrimes appeared to him actually virtues:\u2014the force of habit and the daily\nassociations of his life have so completely taken from him all sense of\nright and wrong; while the devotion of his people has made the idea that\n_he_ could possibly do the slightest wrong so utterly inconceivable to\nhim and to them, that his perceptions of justice, truth, honour, honesty,\nand upright dealing are as utterly stultified as they ever were in the\nmind of the wildest savage who prowled among the cliffs and ca\u00f1ons of the\nRocky Mountains.\n\nPeople think that Brigham Young attained to his present position by the\nexercise of ability, such as has been displayed, only on a greater scale,\nby all those men who, not being born to power, nor having it thrust upon\nthem, have by the force of their genius seized it and held it\u2014unlawfully\nit might be, but, nevertheless, with talent and moral energy.\n\nOf the Prophet\u2019s moral character, the less said the better. He has been\nremorseless and cruel in his enmities, and he has connived at and even\nsuggested, if nothing more, some of the most atrocious crimes that have\never been perpetrated on the face of the earth. In business matters,\nin the payment of money\u2014to use a popular phrase\u2014his word is as good as\nhis bond, but in the accumulation of wealth he has evinced an amount\nof dishonesty which can scarcely be credited. Brigham always meets his\nobligations, and pays his debts, and gets a lawful receipt:\u2014the prophetic\nbusiness could not otherwise be carried on; but the way in which he has\nobtained his wealth would put to the blush the most dishonest member\nof any \u201cring\u201d in New York, or elsewhere. When he attended his first\nConference, he says he had to borrow certain masculine garments and a\npair of boots before he could put in an appearance. Now it would be\ndifficult to estimate the value of his property. He has taken up large\ntracts of land all over the Territory, he has the uncontrolled and\nunquestioned command of all the tithing and contributions of the Saints,\nand from gifts and confiscations, and innumerable other sources, his\nrevenue pours in. It was once rumoured that he had eighteen or twenty\nmillions of dollars in the Bank of England; but Brigham said that the\nreport was not true. \u201cThe Church,\u201d he added, had a little money invested\nabroad. The difference between \u201cThe Church\u201d and the individual Brigham\nYoung has yet to be determined.\n\nIn the year 1852 the \u201cProphet of the Lord\u201d found that he had borrowed an\ninconveniently large sum from the funds of the Church. He is \u201cTrustee\nin Trust\u201d and, of course, legally responsible; but he never renders an\naccount of his stewardship, and no one ever asks him for it. His sense\nof honesty was, however, so strong that he resolved to have his account\nbalanced, and he went down to the Tithing-Office for that purpose.\nThere he found that his indebtedness amounted to two hundred thousand\ndollars, and he proceeded to pay it after his own fashion: the clerk\nwas instructed to place to his credit the same amount \u201c_for services\nrendered_.\u201d In 1867, he owed _very nearly one million dollars_, which he\nhad borrowed from the same fund, and he balanced his account in the same\nway. His contract for the Pacific Railroad is said to have yielded him a\nquarter of a million, and his other contracts and mining speculations,\npurchases _and thefts_ of lands, houses, &c., have been very profitable.\nThe expenses of such a family as Brother Brigham\u2019s must be something\nenormous, but the contributions which by honest and dishonest means he\nhas levied have been so large that he must still be one of the wealthiest\nmen in the States.\n\nBrigham is not a generous man. He has given occasionally, as for instance\nat the time of the Chicago fire, when he presented a thousand dollars\nfor the sufferers, but even then his motive was evident\u2014the affairs of\n\u201cDeseret\u201d were under discussion in Congress. Without the certainty of a\nprofitable return, Brigham never gave a cent. The story of his sordid\navarice and his contemptible meanness in the accumulation of money would\nfill a volume.\n\nMorally and physically the Prophet is a great coward. When he and other\nChurch leaders were arrested a year or two ago, charged with the very\ngravest crimes, the effect upon the Prophet was most distressing. He\nhad solemnly sworn in the Tabernacle that he would shoot the man who\nattempted to arrest him; but when Judge McKean opened court and placed\nhim under arrest, he swallowed his threats and played the coward\u2019s part.\nBefore this the world has seen wretches who were notorious for their\ncruelty and tyranny, and who were also remarkable for their cowardice.\nFor many years he has imitated royalty and has had a strong body-guard to\nkeep watch and ward around his person every night. No man has less cause\nto apprehend personal violence than Brother Brigham, but the voice of\nconscience, which, as the poet says, makes cowards of us all, suggests\nhis fears.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XIX.\n\nTHE WIVES OF BRIGHAM YOUNG:\u2014THEIR HISTORY AND THEIR DAILY LIFE.\n\n\nThe wives of Brigham Young have always been subjects of interest to\nGentiles who visited Zion; and having spoken of their husband, I think it\nis only fair that I should say a few words about them.\n\nFor many years I have known personally all the Prophet\u2019s wives who reside\nin Salt Lake City, and I wish to speak of them with kindness and respect.\nThey are women whom any one would esteem\u2014conscientious, good, earnest\nwomen; faithful, true-hearted wives, who have devoted their lives to the\ncarrying out of what they believe is the revealed will of God.\n\nWhen I first knew Brother Brigham, poor man, he had _only_ sixteen living\nwith him in Salt Lake City; and even now he has no more than nineteen!\nPerhaps I ought to say eighteen, since Eliza-Ann has run away from him,\nand left the poor old gentleman desolate and forlorn. The three whom he\ntook after I came to Utah, were Amelia Folsom, Mary Van Cott Cobb, and\nEliza-Ann. But the reader will perhaps be interested in hearing about\nthem all, and so I will state the names and order of the ladies as they\nat present stand\u2014according to the date of their marriage; making mention\nof the proxy wives last of all, for the sake of convenience and without\nreference to date. Of course Brother Brigham has _had_ many more than\nnineteen wives, but the following are the living ladies; others are dead\nor have strayed away, no one knew whither, and perhaps, as Brother Heber\nonce said to me, nobody cared.\n\n[Illustration: AMELIA FOLSOM YOUNG, BRIGHAM\u2019S FAVORITE WIFE.\n\n\u201cELIZA ANN,\u201d BRIGHAM\u2019S NINETEENTH WIFE.\n\nBROTHER BRIGHAM\u2019S LAST BABY.\n\nMISS ELIZA R. SNOW, MORMON POETESS AND HIGH PRIESTESS.\n\nMRS. JOHN W. YOUNG, WIFE OF BRIGHAM\u2019S APOSTATE SON.\n\n_To face p. 168._]\n\nAllow me to introduce _the_ Mrs. Young.\n\n\nMRS. MARY ANN ANGELL YOUNG.\n\n[Number One.]\n\nFirst in order is Mrs. Mary Ann Angell Young, but she is not the first\nwife that Brother Brigham ever had. Once upon a time, Brother Brigham\nwas a Methodist; but after listening to the preaching of the Mormon\nMissionaries he became a vile apostate\u2014as he loves to call those who\nleave his present faith\u2014and he forsook Methodism. In those days, before\nhe apostatised, and long before he ever dreamed of Polygamy, he had but\n_one_ wife\u2014one only! It must seem strange to the Prophet to look back\nto that period of solitary existence. His second wife was Mrs. Angell\nYoung; and I call her his first wife because she is the first of those\nliving now. As she was married to him after the death of his first wife,\nshe is, of course, his legal wife, and would be recognized as such in\nany civilized country. She is a very fine-looking old lady and very much\ndevoted to her unfaithful lord and master, firmly believing in his divine\nmission. She lives by herself and is seldom troubled with a visit from\nher affectionate spouse. Once in a while Brigham brings her out to a\nparty when he has invited any Gentiles, just for appearance sake. Quite\na number of persons in Utah believe that she is dead, so very little\nis seen and known of her. She lives in the White House\u2014Brigham\u2019s first\nresidence in Salt Lake City\u2014and is much thought of by those who do know\nher. Her children are greatly attached to her, and show her a great\ndeal of attention, making up in this way, to a certain extent, for her\nhusband\u2019s neglect; her three sons, Joseph A. Brigham\u2014who it is expected\nwill succeed his father as President of the Church\u2014and John W., as well\nas her two daughters, Alice and Luna, are all in Polygamy. Each of the\nsons has three wives; and each of the daughters has a half-sister as\na partner in her husband\u2019s affections. Brigham has not the slightest\nobjection to giving two of his daughters to the same husband.\n\n\nLUCY DECKER SEELY YOUNG.\n\n[Number Two.]\n\nLucy Decker Seely Young was his first wife in Polygamy. Her former\nhusband was a Mr. Seely. She is short and stout, a very excellent mother\nand a devoted wife.\n\n\nCLARA DECKER YOUNG.\n\n[Number Three.]\n\nClara Decker Young is the third wife. She is a sister of Lucy Seely, and\nlike her is short and stout, but otherwise good-looking. She is more\nthan twenty years younger than her lord, with whom she was once quite a\nfavourite, but like many others, she has \u201chad her day\u201d\u2014to use Brigham\u2019s\nown expression\u2014and is now, as a matter of course, neglected.\n\n\nHARRIET COOK YOUNG.\n\n[Number Four.]\n\nHarriet Cook Young is tall, with light hair and blue eyes, and is an\nintelligent but not at all a refined woman. She is said to have given a\ngreat deal of trouble to Brother Brigham, of whom she has frequently said\nvery hard things. In times past she had the reputation of being a good\ndeal more than a match for her husband when she had any cause of offence\nagainst him, but in her quiet moments she is a very sincere Mormon. She\nhas only one son\u2014Oscar Young\u2014now about twenty-five years of age. When\nhe was born, Brigham kindly announced to her that because she was not\nobedient she should have no more children, and during more than a quarter\nof a century he has kept his word. Why she has remained with him so long\nis a mystery, for she makes no secret of her feelings towards him.\n\n\nLUCY BIGELOW YOUNG.\n\n[Number Five.]\n\nLucy Bigelow Young is quite a fine-looking woman\u2014tall and fair, and still\nquite young. She has three pretty daughters. Brigham has recently sent\nher to live in southern Utah.\n\n\nMRS. TWISS YOUNG.\n\n[Number Six.]\n\nMrs. Twiss Young has no children, but she is a very good housewife, and\nBrigham appreciates her accordingly, and has given her the position of\nhousekeeper in the Lion House. Women have two great privileges in the\nMormon Church\u2014they may ask a man to marry them, if they chance to fancy\nhim, and if they don\u2019t like him afterwards they are able to obtain a\ndivorce for the moderate sum of ten dollars, which sum the husband is\nexpected to pay. Mrs. Twiss exercised the first privilege in reference\nto Brother Brigham, but has not yet availed herself of the last. There\nare other ladies who thought it would be a great honour to be called the\nwives of the Prophet, and they have requested him to allow them to be\ncalled by his name. This he has done, but he has never troubled them with\nhis society.\n\n\nMARTHA BOWKER YOUNG.\n\n[Number Seven.]\n\nMartha Bowker Young is a quiet little body, with piercing dark eyes,\nand very retiring. Brother Brigham acts towards her as if he had quite\nforgotten that he had ever married her, and she lives in all the\nloneliness of married spinsterhood.\n\n\nHARRIET BARNEY SEAGERS YOUNG.\n\n[Number Eight.]\n\nHarriet Barney Seagers Young, the eighth wife, is a tall, fine-looking\nwoman. She was another man\u2019s wife when Brigham made love to her. It is\nnot supposed to be the correct thing for a Saint to court his neighbour\u2019s\nwife, but the Prophet did so in the case of Harriet Barney, and in\nseveral other cases too. Harriet was married to a respectable young\nMormon gentleman, but after she had lived with him some time and had\nborne three children to him, the Prophet persuaded her to join his ranks,\nand she did so, believing that the word of the Prophet was the revelation\nof the Lord to her, but she has since had bitter cause to repent of her\nfolly. To a Gentile mind such an infatuation must appear very strange,\nbut the Mormon people personally understand the powerful influence which\ntheir religion exercises over them, and to them there is nothing very\nsingular in all this.\n\n\nELIZA BURGESS YOUNG.\n\n[Number Nine.]\n\nEliza Burgess Young is the only English wife that Brigham has. She fell\nin love with the Prophet, wanted him to marry her, and even offered to\nwait, like Jacob, for seven years if she might be his at last. So she\nserved in the family of her lord for the appointed time, and he finally\ntook her to wife as a recompense for her faithfulness. She has added one\nson to the Prophet\u2019s kingdom.\n\n\nSUSAN SNIVELY YOUNG.\n\n[Number Ten.]\n\nThe tenth wife on my list is Susan Snively Young. She is a German\nwoman\u2014smart, active, and industrious. She has no children, but has been\nquite a help-meet to her husband in making butter and cheese, in which\nshe excels. Smart Mormons have always had an eye to business, and while\nliving up to their privileges have not invariably sought for wives who\nwere only fair and pleasant to look upon, but have frequently taken them\nfor their own intrinsic worth: one as a good dairymaid, another as a\ngood cook, a third as a good laundress, and a fourth as a lady to grace\nthe parlour\u2014perhaps even two or three of this last kind, if the Saint\nwere wealthy. There is a good deal of practical wisdom in this. Brother\nBrigham has gathered of all sorts into his net, and has then sorted them\nout, placing each lady in the position where he considered she would be\nmost useful and profitable to himself.\n\n\nMARGARET PIERCE YOUNG.\n\n[Number Eleven.]\n\nMargaret Pierce Young is very lady-like, tall, and genteel. She has the\nappearance of being very unhappy, and it is certain that she has been\nvery much neglected, but not more so than many of the other wives. She\nhas one son.\n\n\nEMMELINE FREE YOUNG.\n\n[Number Twelve.]\n\nWhen first I went to Utah, Emmeline Free Young was the reigning\nfavourite, and she was really the handsomest of Brigham\u2019s wives\u2014tall and\ngraceful, with curling hair, beautiful eyes, and fair complexion. Brigham\nwas as fond of her, at the time, as a man of his nature, with such a low\nestimate of woman, could be. But a younger, though not a handsomer, rival\nsoon captivated his fickle heart, and he left poor Emmeline to mourn in\nsorrow. She has never been herself since then, and probably never will\nbe\u2014she is a broken-hearted woman. She is the mother of quite a numerous\nfamily, and doubtless, as she had been the favourite for so long a time,\nshe had come to believe that her husband would never seek another love.\nBut, if this was so, she sadly miscalculated Brigham, for when his\nlicentious fancy was attracted to another object of affection he cast off\nEmmeline as ruthlessly as he would an old garment. What decent person\ncould refrain from loathing such a man! How often has my heart gone out\nin sympathy towards that poor, wrecked woman whom he had forsaken; what a\npity I deemed it that so much love should be wasted upon a creature who\ncould never understand or appreciate it. And yet Emmeline\u2019s fate has been\nno worse than that of the others; but I was more with her, and saw how\nkeenly she suffered, and I sympathized with her when her sorrows brought\nher nearly to the point of death.\n\n\nAMELIA FOLSOM YOUNG.\n\n[Number Thirteen.]\n\nAmelia Folsom Young is now the favourite, and it is supposed that she\nwill continue to be so, for at last poor Brother Brigham has found a\nwoman of whom he stands in dread. It is doubtful whether he loves her,\nbut nobody in Zion doubts that he fears her. It is said that the Prophet\nhas confided so many of his secrets to Amelia that he is obliged to\nsubmit to her tyranny, for fear of her leaving him, and exposing some of\nhis little ways which would not bear the light. Be that as it may, it is\ngenerally believed that after all his matrimonial alliances he has at\nlast found his _master_ in the person of Amelia. Even good Saints\u2014friends\nof the Prophet\u2014secretly enjoy the idea of him being at last brought under\npetticoat government, for it is believed that Brigham used unfair means\nto obtain her, and that at last he only gained his object by deluding\nher into the belief that the Lord had revealed to him that it was her\nduty to become his wife. One thing is very certain\u2014he was as crazy over\nher as a silly boy over his first love, much to the disgust of his more\nsober brethren, who felt rather ashamed of the folly of their leader. At\nthe theatre a seat was reserved for her at his side, and in the ball-room\nthe same special attention was shown to her. He would open the ball, and,\nafter dancing with each of his other wives who might be present\u2014simply\nfor appearance sake\u2014the remainder of the evening was devoted to her. For\nall that, his inconstant heart could not remain faithful to her, and old\nhabits and feelings, to all appearance, have come over him again, and he\nhas gone astray.\n\nJulia Dean, the actress, was the first to draw him from Amelia\u2019s side,\nand it would have been a sorry day for Amelia if Julia had favoured the\nProphet\u2019s suit. Then the charms of Mary Van Cott touched his sensitive\nheart, to say nothing of Eliza-Ann, his last but yet not his best-beloved.\n\nWith all this experience, and the constant evidences of the fickleness\nof Brother Brigham\u2019s heart before her eyes, there is no wonder that poor\nAmelia feels compelled to hold tight the reins, now that they are in\nher own hands, for, if it is not much to be known as Brigham\u2019s wife, it\nis a great deal to be known as his favourite. As for the future, it is\nwhispered that Brother Brigham has lately been \u201csetting his house in\norder,\u201d and in the ordinary course of nature, Amelia is almost certain\nto outlive for many years her aged lord, she, therefore, can afford to\nwait for the good time coming. But Amelia knows that she would sink into\noblivion if he were to cast her off for another before his death.\n\n\nMARY VAN COTT COBB YOUNG.\n\n[Number Fourteen.]\n\nMary Van Cott Cobb\u2014who became Brigham\u2019s wife after his marriage to\nAmelia\u2014is a very handsome woman, about twenty-eight years of age. She\nis tall, slender, and graceful, and has been married to the Prophet\nabout six years. At first he appeared to be very devoted to her, but\nAmelia soon put a stop to that. Nevertheless, she has since her marriage\npresented a little daughter to her lord, greatly to the annoyance of\nAmelia, who has no children. She is said to be very unhappy, and though\nBrigham has provided her with a fine house and every comfort, yet she\nseldom sees him\u2014not perhaps more than once in three months, or so\u2014though\nit is generally believed that his spirit is willing, but Amelia won\u2019t\nallow it.\n\n\nELIZA-ANN WEBB DEE YOUNG.\n\n[Number Fifteen.]\n\nEliza-Ann Webb Dee Young, commonly known as his \u201crunaway wife,\u201d is his\nlast wedded and nineteenth living wife. If his deceased wives were taken\ninto consideration she would probably be his thirtieth. In this list I\nhave put all the living wives who are sealed to Brigham for eternity\nfirst, and thus I count Eliza-Ann fifteen, but had I placed the proxy\nwives\u2014who are only Brigham\u2019s \u201cfor time,\u201d in the list, she would, of\ncourse, be the \u201cnineteenth,\u201d as she is generally called.\n\n\n\u201cMISS\u201d ELIZA R. SNOW.\n\n[Number Sixteen.]\n\n\u201cMiss\u201d Eliza R. Snow I mention here as I have not followed the order of\ndate. She and the three ladies whose names I shall presently give, are\nthe proxy wives of Brigham, living with him.\n\n\nZINA D. HUNTINGTON JACOBS YOUNG.\n\n[Number Seventeen.]\n\nZina D. Huntington Jacobs Young is another proxy wife, and a widow of\nthe Prophet Joseph. She, too, will have to be handed over in the day of\nreckoning. She has one grown up daughter, of whom I shall presently speak\nunder rather interesting circumstances.\n\n\nEMILY PARTRIDGE YOUNG.\n\n[Number Eighteen.]\n\nEmily Partridge Young is a tall, dark-eyed, handsome woman, and she also\nis a \u201cproxy\u201d wife\u2014a relict of Joseph. When Joseph died, Brigham told his\nwives that they were at liberty to choose whom they would for husbands;\nand some of them showed their appreciation of his generosity by choosing\nhim himself. Thus it was that Emily Partridge became Brigham\u2019s wife. The\nProphet has dealt kindly to his brother Joseph Smith, through her, for\nshe has quite a family of children to be handed over with her. She was\nyoung and handsome when the Prophet died, but perhaps it would be wrong\nto suppose that that had anything to do with Brigham\u2019s generosity to his\nbrother, for it is generally believed that he took all those wives of\nJoseph, from pure principle.\n\n\nAUGUSTA COBB YOUNG.\n\n[Number Nineteen.]\n\nAugusta Cobb Young is a very fine-looking woman, and must have been quite\nhandsome in her youthful days. As I before stated, she formerly lived in\nBoston, but hearing Brigham preach, she fell in love with him, abandoned\nher home, children, and husband, and, taking her youngest child with her,\nwent to Salt Lake City, and was married to the Prophet. It was she who,\nwhen Brigham began to neglect her, wanted to be sealed to Christ, but was\nultimately added to the kingdom of Joseph Smith.\n\nNow these are the Prophet\u2019s wives\u2014his real, living wives\u2014nineteen in\nall. How many spiritual wives he has had it would be impossible to say.\nProbably he himself does not know their number.\n\nIn his habits and mode of living, Brigham Young is very simple, or at\nleast was so until recently. When I first knew him he dressed in plain,\nhome-spun, home-made, and every article about his person and his houses\nwas as plain and unostentatious as could possibly be. But the importation\nof Gentiles and Gentile goods, since the opening of the railway, has\nworked a great change. His wives, who once carried simplicity of dress\nalmost to the verge of dowdyism, have now acquired a taste for Eastern\nfashions.\n\nThe Prophet\u2019s first home in Utah was a little cottage which is now known\nas the White House.\u2014The same house, I believe, which was valued at sixty\nthousand dollars, and which Brother Tenant supposed he bought:\u2014a more\nscandalous and barefaced robbery never was perpetrated.\n\nThis is on the hill-side, north of the Eagle Gate, and is now the\nresidence of his first wife, Mrs. Angell Young. The Bee-Hive House is the\nofficial residence of Brother Brigham. There he used to reign supreme as\n\u201cGovernor\u201d Young; and thence he now issues secular and ecclesiastical\nedicts to all who acknowledge his sway. There is one lady resident in\nthis house\u2014Mrs. Lucy Decker Young\u2014and no one else is permitted to intrude\nupon its privacy. Here the prophet has his own private bedroom, and here\nhe breakfasts when he has been at home over night.\n\nThe Lion House is what ought to be the home of the Prophet, for here\nnearly all his wives reside. (He has, however, many other houses in the\ncity.) On the basement floor is the dining-room, kitchen, pantry, and\nother general offices. The first floor is divided by a long passage with\ndoors on each side. On the right hand, about half-a-dozen wives with\nsmall families find accommodation. On the left, at the entrance, is\nthe parlour, and the other rooms on that side are occupied by mothers\nwith larger families, and ladies who have a little more than ordinary\nattention. The upper floor is divided into twenty square bedrooms.\n\nThere is no extravagance in the furniture or apparel of these wives, but\nthey are comfortable and are kept neat and clean. Again and again, the\nProphet has declared that the ten-dollar fees which are obtained from the\ndivorces provide his wives with pin-money. I do not believe a word of\nthis, as the amount thus obtained is far more than the avaricious soul of\nthe Prophet would allow to pass out of his hands for feminine vanities.\nBut I know of another source of income which is open to the wives.\nThey are allowed all the fruit\u2014peaches especially\u2014which they or their\nchildren, can gather or dry. This, in fact, is pretty nearly their only\n\u201cpin-money\u201d their \u201clord\u201d is not a generous man, and they have to make the\nmost of trifles.\n\nThe Prophet usually dines in the Lion House at three in the afternoon.\nMrs. Twiss Young, as I mentioned before, acts the part of housekeeper,\nand she acts it well. At three punctually the bell rings, and the\nmothers with their children move down to the dining-room. They are all\nseated at a very long table which is lengthened by turning round at the\nend of the room. Each mother has her children around her. Brigham sits\nat the head of the table, with his favourite\u2014when at home\u2014_vis \u00e0 vis_,\nor on his left, and if a visitor is present he sits at the Prophet\u2019s\nright hand. The repast is frugal but ample, for Brigham is a sober and\nexceedingly economical man. This is the first time he sees his family. In\nthe evening at seven o\u2019clock the bell again rings, and the mothers and\nthe children again fill the sides and end of the parlour. When they are\nall seated, the patriarch enters, takes his seat at the table and chats\nquietly with those who chance to go in with him to prayers. When all the\nmembers of the family are assembled, the door is closed. All kneel down\nand the Prophet prays, invoking special blessings upon Zion and \u201cthe\nkingdom.\u201d This is the last that his family see of him for the day, unless\nthey have occasion to seek him privately.\n\nWith his family Brother Brigham is said to be kind; but it is supposed\nto be more the awe which his position as Prophet inspires, than the love\nwhich they bear him as a man which renders him successful in managing\nthem. At the same time, that sweet familiarity is destroyed which\nshould exist between husband and wife, father and children. With such\na number of wives, he cannot possibly wait upon them in visiting, and\nin the ball-room, and other places of amusement. With the exception of\nhis reigning favourite, whoever for the time she may happen to be, no\none expects his attentions. At the theatre a full number of seats are\nreserved, and his wives attend, or remain at home, as they please. They\nsit in the body of the parquette, among the rest of the people; but one\nof the two proscenium boxes is reserved for him, and beside him is a\nchair for the favourite Amelia.\n\nWhen he goes to the ball, the same special attention is shown. He dances\nfirst with the favourite, and, if half-a-dozen more of his wives have\naccompanied them, he will dance with each of them once in the course of\nthe evening; but with the favourite he dances as frequently as any youth\nin the ball-room with his first maiden love. The Apostles and leading men\nof the community, who dance attendance on him and desire his favour, are\nsure to seek the pleasure of her hand and place her in the same cotillion\nwith Brigham, who is thus able all the evening to enjoy her company.\n\nSome of the Apostles and Elders look with pain upon this boyishness of\nthe Prophet, and deplore it. Many of them are attached to their first\nwives, and have shown them consideration and attention which has not\nalways pleased Brother Brigham. I have heard more than one of them,\nexpress a wish that the Prophet had been a little more attentive to his\nown first wife.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XX.\n\nWAYS AND WORKS OF THE SAINTS:\u2014THE PROPHET\u2019S MILLINERY BILL.\n\n\nWhen I arrived in Utah I found that nearly all the Elders with whom I\nhad formerly been acquainted had more than one wife there. Many of these\nbrethren called to see me, and kindly insisted that I should visit their\nfamilies; but this I felt was almost an impossibility.\n\nMy whole nature rebelled at the thought of visiting where there were\nseveral wives; for, in defiance of all the teaching that I had listened\nto, and the tyranny to which we had submitted, human nature would assert\nitself, and my womanly instincts revolted against the system. I could not\nendure the thought of visiting those families in company with my husband.\nI thought that perhaps sometimes I might venture _alone_; but, oh, not\nwith him,\u2014no, not with him. It was bad enough and humiliating enough\nfor me to witness by myself the degradation of my sex; but to do so in\nthe presence of my husband was more than I could calmly contemplate. I\nknew that I should not be able to control myself, and might probably say\nsome very unpleasant things, which I should afterwards regret; for I so\nthoroughly loathed even the idea of polygamy at that time that I was\nfilled with a desire to let every one know and understand just what my\nfeelings were on that subject.\n\nI had left New York against my will, although I had not openly rebelled.\nI had never reproached my husband about it, for I felt that his lot was\nirrevocably cast with the Mormons: I knew that when I married him, and it\nwas of no use now for me to repine. I must go on to the end\u2014there was no\nhelp for me. The journey across the Plains, and all the discoveries which\nI had made, had not tended to soothe my rebellious heart, and I am not\nquite sure that I did not sow by the way a little discontent among the\nsisters. The idea, however, that such was the case did not, I must admit,\nfill me with much repentance. To my husband I had said very little,\nbut I think he would bear me witness that what I did say was said\neffectively. Now when I was brought face to face with practical polygamy\nand could observe it in its most repulsive phases, I hated it more than\never.\n\nOne day not long after our arrival, as we were taking a walk together,\nI saw across the road a man gesticulating after an eccentric fashion\nand beckoning to us. Mr. Stenhouse said, \u201cThat is Brother Heber C.\nKimball;\u201d and I looked again with interest to see what that celebrated\nApostle was like. I had both heard and read a great deal about Brother\nHeber, and what I had learned was not at all of a character to impress\nme favourably\u2014he had been so severe in his denunciation of every woman\nwho dared to oppose polygamy. On the present occasion his conduct was,\nI thought, anything but gentlemanly; and when we crossed the road to\nhim,\u2014which on account of his position in the Church\u2014next to Brigham\nhimself\u2014we, of course, were compelled to do,\u2014my face must have betrayed\nmy feelings I am sure, for almost his first words after shaking hands\nwere, \u201cHave you got the blues?\u201d\n\nMy answer was ready in a moment. \u201cI have had nothing else ever since I\ncame here.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d he replied, \u201cit is time that you should get rid of them, and I am\ngoing to talk to you some day soon, for I rather like your looks.\u201d\n\nI did not like _his_ looks much, however, nor was I at all pleased with\nhis manner. I do not say that I was altogether without blame in feeling\nthus, for I was prejudiced. Of course I was prejudiced. From the first\nmoment when I heard that polygamy was a doctrine of the Church, I was\npredisposed to be dissatisfied with everything: I was henceforth not\nmyself, for the terrible apprehension of my own fate in the \u201cCelestial\nOrder\u201d had changed my whole nature, and that change of itself was a\ngreat source of grief to me. I keenly realized that I was no longer the\nlight-hearted, pleasant companion to my husband that I had been, and many\na time and oft I wished for his sake that I could die, for I felt that I\nnever could be happy in Mormonism again.\n\nHow many times have I knelt by my husband\u2019s couch when he was unconscious\nof it, and have wept bitter tears of sorrow, earnestly praying to the\nLord to subdue my rebellious heart, and, if it were necessary, rather\nthan I should be a continual annoyance to my husband, whom I loved with\nall my soul, that every particle of love in my heart should be withered,\nso that I might perchance, if without love, be able at least to do my\nduty. I fully realized that in polygamy there could be no real love; and\nwhile my affections were still placed upon my husband, it was torture to\nlive in a community where I was compelled to listen to the \u201ccounsels\u201d\nwhich were given to him, day after day, regardless of my presence, to\ntake another wife. I was too proud to notice any ordinary allusion that\nwas made to the subject before me; but when the conversation was turned\nin that direction by those who professed to be sincere friends and to\nentertain a kindly interest in my welfare, I was compelled to listen and\nreply.\n\nIn my unhappy condition, I thought that perhaps I might derive some\nconsolation from the sermons in the Tabernacle\u2014something that might\nshed a softer light upon my rugged pathway. But instead of obtaining\nconsolation, I heard that which aroused every feeling of my soul to\nrebellion, and kindled again within me the indignation which I had been\nso long struggling to conquer. I heard that woman was an inferior being,\ndesigned by the Lord for the special glory and exaltation of man, that\nshe was a creature that should feel herself honoured if he would only\nmake her the mother of his children\u2014a creature who if very obedient and\nfaithful through all the trials and tribulations in life, might some day\nbe rewarded by becoming one of her husband\u2019s queens, but should even then\nshine only by virtue of the reflected light derived from the glory of her\nspouse and lord. He was to be her \u201csaviour,\u201d for he was all in all to\nher; and it was through him alone and at his will that she could obtain\nsalvation. We were informed that man was the crowning glory of creation,\nfor whom all things\u2014woman included\u2014were brought into being; and that the\nchief object of woman\u2019s existence was to help man to his great destiny.\n\nNot a sentence\u2014indeed, not a word\u2014did we ever hear as to the possibility\nof womanly perfection and exaltation in her own right; and not only so,\nbut, as if this were not enough to crush all ambition out of our souls,\nwe were instructed in some new views of marriage. The great object of\nmarriage, we were told, was the increase of children. Those diviner\nobjects\u2014the companionship of soul, the devotion of a refined and pure\naffection, the indissoluble union of two existences\u2014were never presented\nto the yearning hearts of those poor women who listened to the miserable\nharangues of the Tabernacle: such aspirations had nothing to do with the\nhard, cruel facts of their life in polygamy.\n\nAnd this I found was how the women of Utah were spiritually sustained.\nSeldom, indeed, was taught anything better, but frequently much that was\nworse. If Nature, asserting its right to a full return of love, should\nmanifest itself, and inspire some of these poor wives to rebel against\nthe lives which they were compelled to lead in polygamy, then it would\nbe said, in the language of the Tabernacle, that the women were \u201cfilled\nwith the devil,\u201d and that unless they repented speedily, they would\n\u201capostatize and go to hell;\u201d\u2014an assurance which was scarcely necessary,\nfor many of those poor souls were enduring as much as if they were there\nalready. Or if some woman was found objecting to polygamy on account of\nits crushing and degrading effects upon women generally, then, as I just\nsaid, she was told in the coarse language of Brigham Young himself, that\n\u201csuch women had no business to complain; it was quite enough honour for\nthem to be permitted to bear children to God\u2019s holy Priesthood.\u201d\n\nI found, therefore; that the sermons in the Tabernacle were not\ncalculated to help me much spiritually. I had neither friend nor\ncounsellor on earth to whom I could turn for help\u2014my God alone remained\nto me. But, ah, how different were my ideas of God then, from those which\nI entertained before and since. Once I could look upon the beauties of\nnature and the varied experiences of human life, and while my soul was\nlifted up with devotion and gratitude, I could see the loving hand of my\nHeavenly Father in everything around me. Now there was neither light nor\nbeauty before my eyes\u2014all was dark and dreary; there was nothing to draw\naway my heart from such sad thoughts as these. It was painfully clear to\nmy understanding, then as now, that in Mormonism woman was to lose her\npersonal identity. All that Christianity had done to elevate her was to\nbe ruthlessly set aside and trampled under foot, and she was instantly\nto return to the position which she occupied in the darkest ages of the\nworld\u2019s existence.\n\nI had at that time the daily and hourly cares of a family devolving\nupon me, and had not therefore much leisure to spend in visiting my\nfriends even if I had desired to do so. Notwithstanding that, however,\nI had abundant opportunities of observation; and thus my experience of\nMormonism and polygamy in Utah is much the same as that of any Mormon\nwoman of ordinary sense; I only tell what others could relate if they had\nthe inclination to do so. It was not possible for me to live in Salt Lake\nCity without being brought face to face with polygamy in some shape or\nother every day of my life. Had it been otherwise, and if remaining at\nhome would have kept it from my view, I probably never should have had\nthe courage to enter a house where it was practised. To those who know\nnothing of that degrading system this may seem rather an exaggeration\nof feeling; and yet, even at that early day, I had seen so much of the\nfolly and weakness of the Mormon brethren, both in London and New York,\nbefore we went to Utah, and had witnessed so many evil results of their\nteachings, that it was with the greatest difficulty that I could control\nmy feelings sufficiently to call upon any family where there was more\nthan one wife. And yet what I knew then was nothing in comparison to what\nI afterwards witnessed\u2014yes, that I myself endured.\n\nDuring the winter, although I visited very little, I attended a good many\nparties at the Social Hall; but I did so more from a wish to be agreeable\nto my husband than from any pleasure that they afforded me, for life had\nlong since been losing almost all its charms for me. How many times have\nI gazed wistfully at those lofty mountains which surrounded the city, and\nfelt that they were indeed my prison walls. How bitterly have I realized\nthat I should never be able to go beyond them. But in a new country, with\na family to provide for, a mother has not much time to waste in pining,\neven if it be for liberty itself, and I would willingly draw the veil\nover that portion of my life.\n\nAs my husband had been on mission for so many years and had spent all\nhis time in the service of the Church, with the exception of a few brief\nmonths before we left New York\u2014when he was engaged on the staff of\nthe New York _Herald_\u2014I naturally enough thought that when we reached\nZion his occupation would be gone. There would be no need of preaching\nto the Saints: on the contrary they would be able to teach us; and we\nshould have to find out what we could do in this new country to support\nourselves and our children. In this I was not mistaken.\n\nNow among the \u201cabsolutely necessary\u201d things which I had brought with\nme from New York, were about three hundred dollars\u2019 worth of millinery\ngoods, which I had secreted among our other properties, thinking that\nthey would very probably come in useful to the fair daughters of\nZion\u2014notwithstanding that the Elders had told me of fiery sermons,\ndelivered by the Prophet himself, condemning all feminine display, and\nthat the sisters would scorn to wear Gentile fashions. I knew my own sex\ntoo well to believe that all this was strictly true, and I felt certain\nthat I should find, even among the Saints, some weak sisters who would\nappreciate my thoughtfulness in bringing such articles for their use. I\nhad also noticed that the American Elders themselves would frequently\ninquire where they could buy the best gloves and the prettiest ribbons\nand laces, and that looked a little suspicious.\n\nQuite a number of such articles, therefore, found their way into my list\nof \u201cabsolute necessaries,\u201d and I know that my husband was secretly quite\nat a loss to know what had become of a certain sum of money which he was\naware I had obtained from the sale of some of our things in New York. But\nmy foresight in this instance was very useful to us when we arrived in\nZion.\n\nOne day when Mr. Stenhouse was absent seeking employment, I thought I\nwould make a display of my treasures and surprise him on his return.\nAccordingly, with the assistance of our faithful domestic, whom I had\nbrought with me across the Plains, and who had also lived with me in\nSwitzerland, we contrived to place two or three planks in such a way as\nto make a rough table on which to display the goods. I had been secretly\nat work for about two weeks, trimming the bonnets and hats, and making a\nnumber of head-dresses, such as were worn in New York when we left; and,\nalthough we had been three months on the Plains, and quite a month in\nUtah, yet those bonnets and head-dresses were of the very latest style to\nthe ladies of Salt Lake City.\n\nMy Swiss girl was quite a carpenter, and when my temporary table was\narranged, I placed a pretty-looking cloth over it to hide its defects,\nand then began to arrange the various articles. I found that I had a\nmuch finer assortment than I had imagined, for I had bought them at\ndifferent times, and had packed them away hurriedly, lest Mr. Stenhouse\nor some of the other Elders\u2014for there were generally one or two in the\nhouse\u2014should object to my taking them. When my table was filled, and I\nfound that I had still more to display, I was very much pleased, for I\nsaw in my hats and bonnets, flour, meat, and potatoes for my children,\nand I felt hopeful, for one of the sisters had assured me that I should\nbe certain to sell them. The next thing to do was to advertise my stock.\nAfter some reflection, I remembered another of the sisters, who was quite\na good talker, and who felt very kindly towards me. I had known her in\nEngland\u2014she had been in Utah about three years, and her husband had by\nthat time been blessed with two other wives. She used to say that she\nhad no patience with a set of grumbling women, who did not know what was\ngood for them. I do not think that the blessedness enjoyed by her husband\nwas shared by the two wives, for more forlorn-looking women I never saw.\nMy husband, however, told me that this was none of my business, and I\nbelieved him, of course, after the fashion of all good wives.\n\nBut to return. This good sister, besides being an excellent talker, had\nreally nothing else to do except visiting her neighbours, for the other\nwives now took entire charge of all the household duties. So I made her a\npresent of a new bonnet, as I knew that then in two days my goods would\nbe quite sufficiently advertised; and in this I was not mistaken.\n\nAlmost the first visitors who called to see me were a lady and her\ndaughter. I talked freely to her and answered her inquiries, and she\ntold me that she herself had had some experience in the business. \u201cIn\nSalt Lake City,\u201d she said, \u201cI think you will not be able to sell those\ngoods; they are too fashionable for the people here, and there is no\nencouragement given to any one in this business. I am afraid you will be\ndisappointed.\u201d\n\nI believed every word she said, and felt all my airy, hopeful castles\nbegin to crumble away. Before she left, however, she very kindly offered\nto purchase all my goods at a low figure and thus relieve me of the\nanxiety and trouble of selling them. But I had had a little experience in\nthe world,\u2014although probably I appeared to her somewhat innocent,\u2014and I\nthought that if she could sell them, there was a chance at least that I\nalso might be able to do so. At any rate, I resolved to try, and I told\nher so, when she left me with many kind wishes for my success. But what\nshe had said during her visit had chilled my enthusiasm, and I pictured\nall my pretty newly-made articles becoming soiled and faded, with no one\nto buy them; while the little ones, barefooted\u2014like so many children in\nUtah then\u2014were running about crying for bread which I could not buy them.\nI felt sad, and, if I must confess it, I sat down and had a good cry.\n\nJust at that moment I heard a knock at the door, and hastily drying my\neyes, I opened it, and there stood my talkative friend.\n\n\u201cStop crying!\u201d she exclaimed. \u201cWhat is the matter, my dear? Oh _do_ stop\ncrying. I don\u2019t like crying women: we see so many of them among the\nSaints of God that it is really a shame and a disgrace. Tell me what is\nthe matter? Has your husband got another wife? or are you afraid he\nwon\u2019t be able to get one? Come, tell me!\u201d\n\nAll this was uttered in a breath, and without the possibility of my\nputting in a word by way of reply or remonstrance. At last I told her\nthat I had just had a visit from one of the sisters and her daughter,\nwhom I described.\n\n\u201cI know,\u201d she said; \u201cI met her as I was coming here. Do you know who she\nis?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo,\u201d I replied, \u201cI do not think she told me her name; she simply came to\nlook at the goods.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd did she tell you that they would sell well, and that they are the\nbest investment that you could have made?\u201d\n\n\u201cQuite the contrary,\u201d I said, \u201cshe discouraged me so much that I could\nnot help shedding tears.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell now,\u201d she answered, \u201cthat was Mrs. C\u2014\u2014, one of our milliners here;\nand you suppose she was going to encourage you to set up an opposition\nshop, do you? If you do, why, you\u2019ve got something yet to learn.\u201d Indeed\nI felt that I had got a great deal to learn.\n\n\u201cNow I have come to tell you quite a different story,\u201d she said. \u201cThis\nvery afternoon you will have at least a dozen ladies here; and ladies,\ntoo, who have got the money to pay for what they have, and who won\u2019t pay\nyou in salt chips and whetstones.\u201d\n\n\u201cDo they ever pay in such things?\u201d I inquired.\n\n\u201cWhy certainly they do. That is the kind of pay that the good Saints\ngenerally expect their poor brethren and sisters to be satisfied with,\nand to feed their hungry children upon. But I say that this is wrong.\nNot that I want to set myself up as a judge in Zion, or that I should\ncriticize the actions of the brethren, God forbid! But when I see the\nrich brethren grinding the faces of the poor in that way, why, I say that\nit is wrong. But you must not take any such pay as that. You may not\nalways get money, but you can at least get flour, potatoes, and molasses.\nNow, I tell you that you are going to sell every article that you have\ngot, and I shall take pleasure in recommending you and talking about it.\nWhy, I\u2019ve been to about two score people already; but, there! I see your\nhusband coming, and I must go!\u201d My husband, indeed, _was_ there. He was\nnot very fond of my talkative friend, and passed her by with a polite\nsalutation only; but when he saw what I had been doing, the light dawned\nupon his mind, he no longer wondered what had become of the dollars in\nNew York, and, astonished at my success, he congratulated me upon the\ngood use to which I had put them.\n\nAfter this interview I felt quite encouraged, and I very soon found that\nmy friend\u2019s predictions were correct. I had no difficulty in selling,\nand I created quite a little business, although we lived a considerable\ndistance from Main Street. And what with my efforts, and some employment\nwhich my husband obtained, we contrived to get through our first winter\nin Salt Lake City.\n\nBut I anticipate.\n\nOne day my husband informed me that there was a house about to be vacated\nshortly, and that Brigham Young had told him we had better take it. It\nwas pleasantly situated near the Tabernacle, and, as houses then were, it\nwas quite a desirable residence. We had it thoroughly cleaned, and then\nmoved in. When I arrived in the evening I found that Mr. Stenhouse, with\nthe assistance of our faithful Swiss girl, had arranged everything as the\ngoods arrived from the other house; and the place looked so clean, and\nthere was such a bright fire burning that I felt that we now had really\nsomething like a home, and my heart was filled with gratitude.\n\nSoon after our establishment in our new home, Brigham sent for me and\nasked me to make a handsome bonnet for his then favourite wife Emmeline.\nHe left it entirely to my taste; I was to make just what I pleased, so\nthat it suited her and gave satisfaction.\n\nI made my bonnet; and when I presented it, Brigham Young was so pleased\nthat he immediately gave me an order to make one for each of his wives.\nI was very much pleased at this, for we needed furniture and many other\nnecessaries very badly, and I thought that this would enable me to get\nthem. I expected, of course, that my account would be paid in money, for\nI did not suppose that the Prophet of the Lord would offer me chips or\nwhetstones: he could afford to pay cash, and, of course, would do so.\nHe had furnished me with some material out of his own store\u2014for Brigham\nYoung had a dry-goods and grocery store of his own at that time\u2014and I was\nto furnish the remainder. It was very little indeed that he supplied,\nand therefore my account was likely to amount to a considerable sum, for\nalmost every wife had at least one bonnet which she wished made over with\nnew trimmings, besides the new one.\n\nI worked constantly for three weeks, with the assistance of two girls,\nto each of whom I paid six dollars a week besides board. This was a\ndifficult thing for me to do at that time in Utah, for money was seldom\nseen there then; but I was rejoicing in the prospect of the comfortable\nnew furniture which I should have when it was all done. Furniture at\nthat time was very expensive; there was nothing better than white pine\narticles, stained or painted. The commonest kind of wooden rocking-chair\ncost fifteen dollars, and common painted wooden chairs were six dollars a\npiece, with everything else in proportion. This being our first winter,\nwe had not been able to get much, and I thought I would devote the\nproceeds of the work I was doing for Brigham to fitting up the house a\nlittle; and, with what I earned from my other customers, I contrived to\npay my help, so as to have all the rest clear.\n\nAll was completed, and great satisfaction expressed at the result of my\nlabours. So I asked my husband to present my account and, if possible,\nget it settled; it amounted to about 275 dollars, although I had dealt\nvery liberally with the Prophet, and had charged for the goods but little\nmore than they cost me. When he returned, I hastened to meet him, for I\nhad partly selected the furniture and I wanted to go and purchase it. But\nI was like poor Perrette, the milkmaid, who counted her chickens a little\ntoo soon; for Mr. Stenhouse told me that Brother Brigham had given orders\nthat the amount should be credited to us _for tithing_! What a shock this\nwas to me; for that sum, small as it may appear, was my whole fortune at\nthe time, and it was gone at one sweep! \u201cCan it be possible,\u201d I said,\n\u201cthat he can be so mean as that? Where can his conscience be? or has he\nany; to deprive me of my hard earnings in this way? He shall not do it\u2014I\nwill _make_ him pay me.\u201d\n\nMy indignation was so great that I did not reflect how imprudent I was to\ntalk thus of the Prophet of the Lord; but my husband said, \u201cWhat can you\n_do_? You cannot help yourself. You can _do_ nothing but submit. Let us\ntry to forget it; or, if not, it will perhaps be a lesson to us.\u201d But I\ndid not forget it and never could, although I tried very hard; and when\nmany months had passed, and I no longer suffered from the effects of my\nloss, I still remembered it, and I always _shall_ remember the way in\nwhich Brigham paid for his wives\u2019 bonnets.\n\n[Illustration: ORSON HYDE, Late President of the Twelve Apostles.\n\n_Born January, 1805._]\n\n[Illustration: GEORGE Q. CANNON, Utah Delegate to Congress.\n\n_Born in Liverpool, England, 1827._]\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXI.\n\nMYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE\u2014FEARFUL OATHS AND SECRET CEREMONIES.\n\n\nNot many weeks after our arrival in Salt Lake City, my husband told me\nthat we might now enjoy the privilege of going through the Endowment\nHouse.\n\nThis was intended as a great favour to us, on the part of the\nauthorities, for most people have to wait a long while before receiving\ntheir Endowments; but my husband\u2019s influence and position in the Church\nwas, I presume, the reason why we were admitted so soon.\n\nNow, I had heard so much of the Endowments and the Endowment House that I\nquite dreaded to pass through this ordeal. The idea of the whole ceremony\nwas, that thereby we should receive the special grace of God; be united,\nman and woman, making one perfect creature; receive our inheritance as\nchildren of God; and, in fact, be made partakers of the plenitude of\nevery blessing.\n\nI knew well that no marriage was considered binding unless it had been\ncelebrated in that place. I knew that the Saints, however long they might\nhave been wedded, were under the necessity of being reunited there before\nthey could be considered lawfully married and their children legitimate.\nAccording to the highest Mormon authority, no marriage is valid unless\nthe ceremony is performed in the Temple. The Temple is not yet built,\nand as Joseph, the Prophet, said, \u201cNo fellow can be damned for doing the\nbest he knows how,\u201d the Saints, meanwhile, do \u201cthe next best thing,\u201d\nand are married in the Endowment House. I knew that there and then the\nfaithful were said to be \u201cendowed\u201d with their heavenly inheritance. I\nsaw how _absolutely needful_ it was that my husband and myself should\nbecome partakers of those mysteries; but I was influenced by the strange\nstories which I had heard of unhallowed and shameful doings in that same\nEndowment House, and consequently I feared to enter in.\n\nMy fears were not, however, altogether groundless or visionary. It has\nbeen whispered\u2014falsely perhaps\u2014that in that Endowment House scenes have\nbeen enacted so fearful that words would falter on the lips of those who\ntold the tale concerning them. I have _heard_ of such things from men\nof integrity and honour; but they were not eye-witnesses of what they\nrelated, and they could not, or would not, give me their authorities.\nOne thing I am certain of; if such horrible deeds were ever perpetrated\nwithin those walls, there remains no _living_ witness to testify of them.\nThe lips of those who alone could tell the whole truth are sealed in a\nsilence which the trump of doom alone shall break.\n\nIt was, of course, no fear of any personal violence or any painful\ndisclosures in that respect, that made me reluctant to receive my\nEndowments, for at that time I was by profession apparently a good\nMormon; if I had my doubts and misgivings, I had them in common with\nnine-tenths of the Mormon women, and had therefore nothing to fear. The\ntrue cause of my reluctance was of a more delicate and personal nature.\nI had been informed that, if I refused to go, my husband could not go\nalone; he would be compelled to take another wife, and go with her. This\nwas not all. I found that it was quite common for the Elders to take a\nsecond wife when they took their first Endowments, and thus, as they\ncoarsely expressed it, \u201ckill two birds with one stone.\u201d Moreover, I had\nheard of men who feared to introduce Polygamy into their households,\npresenting to their wives, while going through the House, a young girl as\ntheir intended bride, feeling sure that the wife would not dare to make\na scene before the Assembly. How could I know that my husband also had\nnot such an idea in his mind? True, I trusted him implicitly, and did not\nbelieve it possible that he could deceive me. But had not men who were\nuniversally known for their integrity and honour acted in the same way\nto _their_ wives; and with so many evidences of the best and most honest\nnatures being corrupted by the unrighteous teachings of their religion,\ncould I be blamed for doubting him whom I loved best?\n\nThere was also another reason why I particularly objected to passing\nthrough the Endowment House. I had been told many strange and revolting\nstories about the ceremonies which were there performed, for it was said\nthat in the Nauvoo Temple the most disgraceful things were done. About\nwhat was done at Nauvoo I can say nothing, as it was before my time, but\nstill it is only fair to say, that people who in every other relation\nin life I should have deemed most reliable and trustworthy were my\ninformants respecting those strange stories. Of the Endowments in Utah I\ncan, of course, speak more positively, as I myself passed through them;\nand I wish to say most distinctly that, although the initiation of the\nSaints into \u201cThe Kingdom,\u201d appears now to my mind as a piece of the most\nridiculous absurdity, there was, nevertheless, nothing in it indecent or\nimmoral\u2014of which the reader himself shall presently be the judge.\n\nIt is an invariable rule among the Mormons, as I have before intimated,\nfor every man or woman to mind his or her own business, and nothing\nelse. Thus it was, that until I myself went through the Endowments,\nI was totally ignorant of what they were; although, of course, many\npeople, with whom I had daily intercourse could easily have enlightened\nme if they had been thus minded. Besides this, every Mormon\u2019s mouth was\nclosed by the oath of that same Endowment House\u2014the penalty of which was\ndeath, a penalty which no one doubted would be sternly enforced. Thus,\ntotally in the dark, and remembering only the strange stories told about\n\u201cwashings\u201d and \u201canointings,\u201d and an imitation of the Garden of Eden, with\nAdam and Eve clothed in their own innocence alone, it can be no wonder\nthat any modest woman should wish to evade all participation in such\nscenes.\n\nI spoke to my husband about it, and he tried to reassure me, but what he\nsaid had rather a contrary effect.\n\nBefore we left England, when speaking of these ceremonies, my husband\ntold me that they were simply a privilege and a matter of choice. But\nwhat a choice! I might go or refuse to go; but, if I refused, he must\u2014if\nhe went through it all\u2014take another wife in my place, and, as I knew,\nthere would be no difficulty in finding one. I should in consequence be\nknown as a rebellious woman; annoyance and indignity would be heaped upon\nme; while within my own home I should be compelled to occupy the position\nof second wife\u2014as the one who is married first in the Endowment House is\nconsidered the first wife, and has the control of everything.\n\nMy husband told me that now he was most anxious to go; he had already\nbeen notified three times that such was his privilege, and there were, he\nsaid, good reasons why we ought gladly to accept the opportunity. It was\nan honour, he said, for which many people had waited for years.\n\nMy husband reminded me that we had been married by a Gentile, and while\nliving among Gentiles, and that, as I said before, our marriage was\nnot valid, and our children were not legitimate. Only those children of\nours who were born _after_ the ceremony in the Endowment House would be\nlegitimate; the others were outcasts from the \u201cKingdom\u201d unless we adopted\nthem _after_ our initiation, and thus made them heirs. In any case, poor\nchildren, they could never be considered the _real_ heirs; they could\nonly be \u201cheirs by adoption.\u201d\n\nSo I agreed to go, trying to persuade myself that it was a sacred duty;\nfor, although my faith in Mormonism had been roughly shaken, I still\nbelieved that its origin was divine.\n\nThe Temple robe, which is a long, loose, flowing garment, made of white\nlinen or bleached muslin, and reaching to the ankle, had been placed\nupon us just before we took the oaths. It was gathered to a band about\ntwelve inches long, which rested on the right shoulder, passed across the\nbreast, and came together under the left arm, and was then fastened by\na linen belt. This leaves the left arm entirely free. The veil consists\nof a large square of Swiss muslin, gathered in one corner so as to form\na sort of cap to fit the head; the remainder falls down as a veil. The\nmen wear the same kind of under garment as the women, and their robes\nare the same, but their head-dress is a round piece of linen drawn up\nwith a string and a bow in front, something after the fashion of a Scotch\ncap. All good Mormons, after they have received their first Endowments,\nget whole suits of Temple robes made on purpose for them, so that they\nmay be ready for use at any time when they are needed. All marriages in\nthe Endowment House are performed in these robes, and in them all Saints\nwho have received their Endowments are buried. Besides our robes we were\ninstructed to take with us a bottle of the best olive oil.\n\nAt seven o\u2019clock in the morning of the day appointed, we presented\nourselves at the door of the Endowment House, and were admitted by\nBrother Lyon, the Mormon poet. Everything within was beautifully neat and\nclean, and a solemn silence pervaded the whole place. The only sound that\ncould be heard was the splashing of water, but whence the sound proceeded\nwe could not see. In spite of myself, a feeling of dread and uncertainty\nrespecting what I had to go through would steal over my mind, and I\nearnestly wished that the day was over.\n\nWe waited patiently for a little while, and presently a man entered and\nseated himself at a table placed there for that purpose, upon which\nwas a large book. He opened the book, and then calling each person in\nturn, he took their names and ages, and the names of their fathers and\nmothers, and carefully entered each particular in the book. Our bottles\nof oil were then taken from us, and we were supposed to be ready for the\nceremony.\n\nFirst we were told to take off our shoes, and leave them in the anteroom,\nand then to take up our bundles and pass into another room beyond. This\nwas a large bath-room, which was divided down the middle by a curtain of\nheavy material placed there for the purpose of separating the men from\nthe women. Here my husband left me\u2014he going to the men\u2019s and I to the\nwomen\u2019s division. In the bath-room were two or three large bathing-tubs\nsupplied by streams of hot and cold water. We were as much concealed from\nthe men as if we had been in an entirely separate room, and everything\nwas very quiet and orderly.\n\nMiss Eliza R. Snow, the poetess, and a Mrs. Whitney, were the officiating\nattendants on that occasion. The former conducted me to one of the\nbathing-tubs, and placing me in it, she proceeded to wash me from the\ncrown of my head to the soles of my feet. As she did this she repeated\nvarious formulas to the effect that I was now washed clean from the blood\nof this generation and should never, if I remained faithful, be partaker\nin the plagues and miseries which were about to come upon the earth. When\nI had thus been washed clean, she wiped me dry, and then taking a large\nhorn filled with the olive oil which we had brought, she anointed me. The\noil was poured from the horn by Mrs. Whitney into the hand of Eliza Snow,\nwho then applied it to me. The horn was said to be the horn of plenty\nwhich, like the widow\u2019s cruse of oil, would never fail as long as the\nordinance should continue to be administered. In addition to the crown of\nmy head, my eyes, ears, and mouth were also anointed; my eyes that they\nmight be quick to see, my ears that they might be apt at hearing, and\nmy mouth that I might with wisdom speak the words of eternal life. She\nalso anointed my feet, that they might be swift to run in the ways of the\nLord. I was then given a certain garment to put on.\n\nNow this garment is one peculiar to the Mormon people. It is made so as\nto envelope the whole body, and it is worn night and day. I was told\nthat after having once put it on, I must never wholly take it off before\nputting on another, but that I should change one half at a time, and\nthat if I did so I should be protected from disease, and even from death\nitself; for the bullet of an enemy would not penetrate that garment, and\nthat from it even the dagger\u2019s point should be turned aside. It has been\nsaid that the Prophet Joseph carelessly left off this peculiar garment\non the day of his death, and that, had he not done so, the rifles of his\nassassins would have been harmless against him.\n\nWhen thus arrayed, I proceeded to put on a white nightdress and skirt,\nstockings, and white linen shoes. A new name was then whispered into my\near, which I was told I must never mention to any living soul except my\nhusband in the Endowment House. This name was taken from the Bible, and\nI was given to understand that it would be the name whereby I should be\nadmitted into the celestial kingdom. This was of course very gratifying.\nA circumstance, however, occurred which took from me all the pride which\nmight have been mine in the possession of a new name. There was among\nour number a deaf woman; Mrs. Whitney had to tell her her name once or\ntwice over, loud enough for me to hear, and thus I found that her new\nname, as well as mine, was Sarah. To make the matter worse, another\nsister whispered, \u201cWhy, that is my name too.\u201d This entirely dispelled any\nenthusiasm which otherwise I might have felt. I could well understand\nthat I might yet become a Sarah in Israel, but if we all were Sarahs,\nthere would not be much distinction or honour in being called by that\nname. As a matter of course I supposed that the men would all become\nAbrahams.\n\nOur washing and anointing being now over, we were ready for the\ninitiation\u2014there were about fifteen couples in all.\n\nA voice from behind the curtain asked Miss Snow if we were ready, and was\nanswered in the affirmative. We were then arranged in a row, the curtain\nwas drawn aside, and we stood face to face with the men, who had, of\ncourse, on their side of the curtain, been put through the same ordeal. I\nfelt dreadfully nervous, for I did not know what was coming next, and I\ncould not quite dismiss from my mind the stories that I had heard about\nthese mysteries. But in spite of my nervousness, curiosity was strong in\nme at that moment, as it was, I suppose, in the others; for, as soon as\nthe curtain was drawn aside, we all cast our eyes in the direction of the\nmen. They, as might be expected, were looking in our direction, and when\nI beheld them I must say that my sympathies were drawn out towards the\npoor creatures. However little vanity or personal pride they possessed,\nthey must have felt it unpleasant to have to appear in the presence of\nladies in such a dress\u2014or rather _un_dress; and notwithstanding the\nsolemn meaning of the ceremony, there was just the ghost of a smile upon\nour faces as we looked at each other and dropped our eyes again. To any\none who did not feel as we did the religious nature of the initiation,\nthe scene must have appeared perfectly ludicrous. In fact, some of us\nfelt it so. One sister, just as the curtain was drawn up and we came in\nfull view of our lords, cried out, \u201cOh dear, oh dear, where shall I go?\nWhat shall I do?\u201d This, as may be supposed, caused a laugh, which was, of\ncourse, immediately suppressed.\n\nWe could see how the men looked, but of our own appearance we could not\nso easily judge. Certainly, we must have looked anything but handsome in\nour white garments, and with the oil trickling down our faces and into\nour eyes, making them smart and look red. There was nothing, however, for\nus to do but to submit quietly and make the best of it we could. Ashamed\nas I was, I thought I might venture to look at my husband; there could be\nno harm in that; but when I saw his demure-looking countenance and his\nefforts to keep his clothing in order, I thought I should be compelled\nto laugh outright, for I could see that his thoughts were more occupied\nabout his personal appearance than with the solemnity of the occasion.\nThe men were all dressed in the same kind of garment as the women\u2014drawers\nand shirt all in one, very much like those which are used for children to\nsleep in, and over that an ordinary white shirt, such as men always wear;\nthat, with socks and white linen shoes, completed their toilet.\n\nClad after this interesting fashion, we sat opposite to each other for\nseveral minutes, and then my husband and myself were instructed to come\nforward and kneel at the altar while all the rest remained standing.\nIt is the custom thus to select two persons, and we were either picked\nout by chance, or it might be, as my husband was thought a good deal of\nby the authorities, that they considered he would feel honoured by the\npreference.\n\nSuddenly a voice was heard speaking to some one, who also replied.\nThis voice from the unseen was supposed to be the voice of Elohim in\nconversation with Jehovah, and the words that were used were much the\nsame as those contained in the first chapter of the book of Genesis,\ndescribing the creation of the world. Finally, Jehovah and Elohim declare\ntheir intention to come down and visit the earth. This they do, and\npronounce all that they behold very good; but they declare that it is\nnecessary that one of a higher order of intelligence than the brute\ncreation should be placed in the world to govern and control all else.\n\nMichael the Archangel is now called, and he is placed upon the earth\nunder the name of Adam, and power is given him over all the beasts of\nthe field, the fowls of the air, and the fishes of the sea. Moreover,\nthe fruits of the earth are all given to him for his sustenance and\npleasure; but he is strictly charged, as in Bible story, not to eat of\none particular tree which stands in the midst of the garden. This tree is\nrepresented by a small real evergreen, and a few bunches of dried raisins\nare hung upon it as fruit.\n\nIt is now discovered that it is not good for man to be alone; Elohim and\nJehovah, therefore, hold another conversation upon that subject, and they\nfinally determine to give a companion to Adam. They, therefore, cause\na deep sleep to fall upon Michael\u2014or Adam as he is now called\u2014and they\nprepare to operate upon him. Here we were all instructed to assume the\nattitude of deep sleep by dropping our heads upon our breasts. Elohim\nand Jehovah then come down and go through the motions of removing a rib\nfrom the side of the sleeper, which said rib appears immediately upon the\nscene in the person of Eliza R. Snow. Elohim and Jehovah are generally\nrepresented by two of the Twelve Apostles. When Brigham is present he\nplays a prominent part.\n\nAnd now the devil makes his appearance in the person of W. W. Phelps.\nPhelps used always to personate the devil in the Endowments, and the\n_r\u00f4le_ suited him admirably. He is dead now, but whether it has made\nany difference in his _status_ I cannot tell, nor do I know who has\nsucceeded him in his office. The devil wears a very tight-fitting suit\nof black muslin, with knee-breeches and black stockings and slippers.\nThis dress had all the appearance of a theatrical costume, and the man\nlooked as much like what one might imagine the devil would look as he\npossibly could. He began by trying to scrape acquaintance with Eve, whom\nhe meets while taking a walk in the garden. The innocent, unsuspecting\nwoman is fascinated by his attentions. Father Adam\u2014who seems to have\nhad a touch of the Mormon about him\u2014perhaps was not the most attentive\nof husbands; or he may have made the same mistake as that which so many\nof his sons have since made\u2014neglecting to pay the same attentions after\nmarriage as he was wont to before\u2014and left his young wife to the mercy of\nthe tempter. However that may be, Satan and Eve are soon discovered in\nconversation together, and Eve appears to be particularly pleased with\nSatan. At length he offers her some of the fruit of the forbidden tree,\nand after some little demur she accepts it and eats thereof.\n\nThen the devil leaves her, Adam makes his appearance, and Eve persuades\nhim also to eat of the fruit of the tree. After this they make a dumb\nshow of perceiving their condition, and an apron of white linen is\nproduced, on which are sewn pieces of green silk, in imitation of fig\nleaves, and in these they both attire themselves.\n\nThen all the brethren and sisters produced similar aprons which they had\nbrought with them on purpose, and these they put on, as Adam and Eve\nhad already done. Elohim now appeared again, and called Adam; but Adam\nwas afraid, and hid himself in the garden with Eve. The curse was now\npronounced upon the serpent\u2014the devil\u2014who reappears upon his hands and\nknees, making a hissing noise as one might suppose a serpent would do. We\nwere then all driven out of the Garden of Eden into another room which\nrepresented the world\u2014and this ended the \u201cFirst Degree.\u201d\n\nWe were now supposed to be out in the world, earning our daily bread by\nthe sweat of our brows, and we were informed that although we had been\ndriven out from the presence of the Lord, yet a plan of salvation would\nbe devised for us, by which we should be enabled to return to our first\nestate. We were to wait patiently until this plan should be disclosed to\nus.\n\nThere was here such a mixture of persons and events that I could not\nexactly follow the idea that was intended to be conveyed\u2014if there was\nany idea at all. Men representing the ancient prophets entered, and gave\ninstructions to the people to prepare themselves for the first coming\nof our Saviour upon earth. Then we were taught certain pass-words and\ngrips; and then we were all arranged in a circle. The women covered their\nfaces with their veils, and we all kneeled down, and, with our right\nhands uplifted towards heaven, we took the solemn oath of obedience and\nsecrecy.[1] We swore that by every means in our power we would seek to\navenge the death of Joseph Smith, the Prophet, upon the Gentiles who had\ncaused his murder, and that we would teach our children to do so; we\nswore, that without murmur or questioning, we would implicitly obey the\ncommands of the priesthood in everything; we swore that we would not\ncommit adultery\u2014which, with reference to the men, was explained to mean\nthe taking of wives without the permission of the holy Priesthood; and\nwe swore that we would never, under any circumstances, reveal that which\ntranspired in the Endowment House.\n\nThe penalty for breaking this oath, which was worded in the most\nstartling and impressive way, was then explained to us. His bowels\nwere\u2014while he was yet living\u2014to be torn from him, his throat was to be\ncut from ear to ear, and his heart and tongue were to be cut out. In the\nworld to come, everlasting damnation would be his portion.\n\nLet not the reader think that this was merely an imaginary penalty,\nor that it was expressed merely for the purpose of frightening the\nweak-minded; for, as will be shown, punishments quite as horrible as that\nhave been deliberately meted out to the Apostate, the Gentile, and the\nsuspected Saint, by the Mormon Priesthood. The innocent blood which cries\nfor vengeance against Brigham Young and some of the leaders of the Church\nis sufficient to weigh the purest spirit which stands before the throne\nof God down to the nethermost abysses of hell.\n\nAfter these fearful oaths had been taken with due solemnity, we were\ninstructed in the various signs representing those dreadful penalties;\nand we were also given a \u201cgrip\u201d peculiar to this degree.\n\nWe were next entertained by a long address from the Apostle Heber C.\nKimball.\u2014Never in my life\u2014except from Brigham Young\u2014have I listened to\nsuch disgusting language, and I trust I never shall be compelled to\nlisten to anything like it again. Brother Kimball always used to pride\nhimself upon using \u201cplain\u201d language, but that day I think he surpassed\nhimself; he seemed to take quite a pleasure in saying anything which\ncould make us blush. The subject of which he discoursed was the married\nlife in the \u201cCelestial Order;\u201d he also laid great stress upon the\nnecessity of our keeping silence concerning all that we had witnessed\nin the Endowment House\u2014even husbands to their wives, and wives to their\nhusbands, were not to utter a single word. With the sermon ended our\n\u201cSecond Degree.\u201d\n\nWe were now taken to another room for the purpose of passing through\nthe \u201cThird Degree\u201d of the Order of the Melchisedec Priesthood. When we\nwere all arranged on one side against the wall, a number of individuals\nentered who were supposed to represent the ministers of every\ndenomination and religion upon the face of the earth. The devil also\nmakes his appearance again. The ministers set forth the various claims of\ntheir respective creeds\u2014each one striving to show that his is the purest\nand the best\u2014but the devil sows division and hatred among them, and a\ngood deal of confusion ensues.\n\nThen came in personages representing Peter, James, and John, the\nApostles; and they commanded ministers, devil, and all to depart. They\nthen appeared to organize a new Church, in which the true principles of\nthe Gospel were to be taught; our Temple robes were also all changed from\nthe right shoulder to the left, indicating that we were now in the true\nChurch, and that we were to be absolutely and in every way dependent upon\nthe priesthood. Another grip was then given to us, and thus we received\nthe third degree of the Order of Melchisedec Priesthood. In that room\nwas a division made of bleached muslin; in the division a door and in\nthe door a hole, with a lap of muslin over it, through which to pass\nthe hand. Whoever was on the other side could see us, but we could not\nsee them. The men first approached this door. A person representing the\nApostle Peter appeared at the opening and demanded who was there. He\nwas told that some one desired to enter. Hands came through the opening\nin the muslin curtain, and mysterious fingers cut a mark on the left\nbreast of the men\u2019s shirts\u2014one mark also over the abdomen, and one over\nthe right knee\u2014which marks the women religiously imitated upon their\nown garments when they got home. The applicant was then told to put his\nhand through the opening, and give the last grip belonging to the \u201cThird\nDegree,\u201d and mention his new name. He was then permitted to enter. This\nwas called \u201cgoing behind the veil.\u201d When the men were all admitted, the\nwomen were suffered to approach, and were passed through by their own\nhusbands. When a woman has no husband she is passed through by one of\nthe brethren, and to those who are not going to be married or sealed for\neternity here the ceremonies end.\n\nNow, as I before stated, according to Mormon ideas we had never before\nbeen legally married. It was therefore, necessary that we should now pass\nthrough that ceremony. We accordingly were conducted to a desk, where\nour names were entered, and we were then passed into another room. In\nthat room was a long, low altar, covered with red velvet, and an armchair\nplaced at one end of it, in which sat Brigham Young. My husband knelt at\none side of the altar and I at the other, with our hands clasped above\nit in the last grip which had been given to us. Then the ordinary formula\nof marriage was gone through with, and we were informed that we were\nsealed for time and for eternity.\n\nThus we passed through the mysteries of the Endowment House, and at three\no\u2019clock in the afternoon we found ourselves at liberty to return home.\nThe various ceremonies had occupied eight hours.\n\nWhen we reached home, my husband said, \u201cWell, what do you think of the\nEndowments?\u201d But I did not dare to answer him truthfully at that time.\nHad I done so, I should have told him that I was ashamed and disgusted.\nNever in all my life did I suffer such humiliation as I did that day;\nfor the whole time I was under the impression that those who officiated\nlooked upon us as a set of silly dupes, and I felt annoyed to think\nthat I dared not tell them so. So I told my husband that I would rather\nnot speak about it, and we never have spoken of it to this day. What\nwere his own feelings about the matter, I do not know, for Mormon wives\nare taught never to pry into their husband\u2019s feelings or meddle with\ntheir actions. But notwithstanding all my feelings in reference to the\nEndowments, so foolish was I that when I afterwards heard the brethren\nand sisters talking about the happiness which they had experienced while\ngoing through, and saying how privileged we ought to feel at being in\nZion among the Saints of God, secure in His Kingdom where we could bring\nup our children in the fear of the Lord, I began again to think that the\nfault was all in myself, and that it was I who was wrong and not the\nEndowments. I wondered how, with such a rebellious heart, I should ever\nget salvation, and I mourned to think that I had not accepted everything\nwith the simplicity of a child.\n\nSome time after our initiation I met the Apostle Heber C. Kimball, and\nhe asked me how I felt upon the occasion. I frankly told him all, but\nadded that I regretted feeling so. He said, \u201cI shall see if you cannot\ngo through again; it is not just the thing, and I shall try and make\nthe opportunity.\u201d Nothing more, however, was said about it. But that\nwhich troubled me most was the fact that while the oaths were being\nadministered, I dropped my hand and inwardly vowed that I would never\nsubscribe to such things, and at the same time my heart was filled with\nbitter opposition. This, although I did it involuntarily\u2014my better nature\nrising within me, and overcoming my superstition\u2014I thought at the time\nwas sinful. I now, however, rejoice that such was the case; for not\nhaving actually vowed to keep secret those abominable oaths, I can say,\nwithout any cavil or equivocation, that I have broken no promise and\nbetrayed no trust by the revelations which I have just made.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXII.\n\nSECRETS OF SAINTLY SPOUSES:\u2014A VISIT FROM MY TALKATIVE FRIEND.\n\n\nNot long after I had received my Endowments, my talkative friend, of whom\nI have already spoken, came to see me and to offer her congratulations.\nShe was quite enthusiastic upon the subject, spoke of the honour which\nhad been conferred upon us, and promised to call frequently \u201cto build me\nup.\u201d She was particularly anxious to learn whether I did not feel much\nbetter and happier now.\n\nOn that point I could say little, for to have answered her truthfully\nwould have provoked discussion, into which I did not care to enter. I\nknew, too, that anything I said to her would soon be known to every one\nelse. So I told her that I was feeling well enough.\n\n\u201c\u2018Well enough!\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cIs that how you feel? Come now, I thought you\nwould have got over all that when you had been through your Endowments.\nYou remind me of what Brother Brigham says,\u2014We have so many whining women\nin Zion that it is quite a reproach. I do hope that you are not going to\nbecome one of them. Let me give you a bit of advice: The wisest thing\nthat you can do is to look out for another wife for your husband, and get\nhim to marry her.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh my!\u201d I said; \u201cwhat are you talking about? You surely cannot be in\nearnest.\u201d\n\n\u201cI never was more earnest in my life,\u201d she answered. \u201cIf you had\npersuaded your husband to take another wife when you went through your\nEndowments, you would have got over all your troubles at one time. The\nanticipation is ten times worse than the reality.\u201d\n\n\u201cI do not see it in that light,\u201d I said. \u201cMy own opinion is that my\ntroubles in that case would only then have begun. I do not think that you\nyourself are really happy.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, nonsense!\u201d she exclaimed. \u201cWhy you can see how happy I am. My\nhusband has two other wives, besides myself, and a more comfortable\nfamily could not be.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou never told me,\u201d I said, \u201chow your husband managed to get those\nwives. I should like to hear.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy husband managed! Why _he_ did not manage at all; it was I who\narranged everything for him, and I\u2019ll tell you how it was done.\n\n\u201cDuring the Reformation,\u201d she continued, \u201cyou, of course, know the men\nwere constantly urged to take more wives; but my husband was rather\nbackward, and used to tell me there was plenty of time, and not the\nslightest occasion for him to be in a hurry. I had my own opinion of the\nmatter and did not agree with him, for you see I was afraid that after\nall, he would pick up some young girl or other and fall in love with her,\nand all my plans would be disarranged. It is, you know much the best for\nthe first wife to look out for some girl who will look up to her and\nrespect her, but not love her husband too much, and then they are likely\nto get on well together. If the first wife selects the other wives,\nit has the effect of showing them that the husband thinks much of her\njudgment and is willing to abide by it, and that they will have to do the\nsame. This, of course, is as it should be. But if she lets her husband\nchoose his own wife, he is almost certain to take a fancy to some one\nwhom the first wife does not like at all, and consequently her authority\nis undermined. The first wife ought to keep all the power in her own\nhands.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d I said, \u201cI should not care much, I think, who ruled in my home if\nanother wife was there.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou think so now,\u201d she replied; \u201cbut when you get used to polygamy you\nwill feel quite otherwise. People get used to it\u2014the women as well as the\nmen\u2014and then they leave off fretting and become less selfish. But I was\ngoing to tell you how I managed my husband.\n\n\u201cI was very anxious, as I told you, to find another wife for him, and I\ntook into consideration all the suitable girls I knew. There was some\nobjection to almost every one. Some were too pretty and I knew I should\ndetest them; and others were not good-looking, and those my husband\ncould not bear. So I waited patiently, but did not give up the hope of\nsucceeding eventually. At last I met with a girl who I thought would do.\nShe was certainly not bad-looking, but she was very young, and I thought\nI should be able to manage her. The name of this girl was Alice Maynard;\nshe was a neighbour of ours, and one of a large family. She seemed to me\nto be a quiet modest little creature, and I knew that she had to work\nhard and received very little in return. In fact, she led at home a life\nof drudgery, and even her very clothing bore witness to the poverty of\nthe family. Her mother had often told me that she felt badly for Alice,\nfor Mr. Maynard had three other wives, and it was more than he could do\nto support them all properly.\n\n\u201cI called one day on Mrs. Maynard to broach the matter to her. She\nreceived me very kindly, and entered into my views at once. She was\nanxious, she said, for Alice to get married, for then she would be better\noff. I asked her how she would like her to marry my husband, and told her\nthat we were very comfortably off\u2014as you know we are\u2014and that my husband\nowned his house and lot, and was doing a very good business, and, of\ncourse, ought to take another wife. Would she agree to my proposal, and\nlet me mention Alice to him?\n\n\u201cShe said she herself had no objection, but that perhaps my husband might\nnot like Alice, or Alice might not like him.\n\n\u201cI felt indignant at the idea that any girl should hesitate to marry _my_\nhusband, and I told Sister Maynard that there could not possibly be any\nhesitation on Alice\u2019s part. \u2018I\u2019m sure I have no objection,\u2019 she said,\n\u2018if Alice has none. I should only be too happy to see my child in a more\ncomfortable home.\u2019\n\n\u201cWell, then, we\u2019ll consider the matter settled, I said, and asked if\nI could see Alice; so her mother called her in, and I proposed to her\nfor my husband. You can guess, perhaps, how astonished I was when she\nactually laughed in my face, and said she should like to consider the\nmatter! I did not, however, show her what I thought, but assented to what\nshe said, and invited her to come and take tea with us.\n\n\u201cMy husband had often told me, when I was teasing him about taking\nanother wife, that he would willingly marry _any_ girl I might choose for\nhim; and I felt pleased at this, for it showed confidence in my judgment.\nSo when he came in, later in the day, I told him I had found a wife for\nhim at last, and that I knew he would like her. \u2018Why, Ann,\u2019 he said, \u2018I\ndo believe you are going crazy over the wife question; but if you are, I\ndo not want you to drive me crazy also.\u2019 I really thought this was too\nbad, after all my trouble for him; but nevertheless I was resolved that\nthe marriage should take place.\n\n\u201cThree days after that, in accordance with my invitation, Alice came to\ntake tea with us, and I fixed her up to look nice. When she was ready, I\ntook her into the parlour to introduce her to my husband, who was sitting\nthere reading. Henry, I said, this is Miss Maynard\u2014the young lady of whom\nI spoke to you the other day. He looked up from his paper, and, to my\nastonishment, said, \u2018Why, Alice, my girl, how do you do? How are mother\nand father?\u2019\n\n\u201c\u2018What, I said, do you know Alice, Henry?\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2018Certainly I do,\u201d he answered; \u2018Alice and I have met many times before\nthis, haven\u2019t we, Alice?\u2019\n\n\u201c\u2018Yes, sir,\u2019 she said, and, oh, _so_ demurely. Why, Sister Stenhouse, I\nbegan to think that I had actually been deceived, and that while I had\ninnocently supposed that I had found out the girl myself, it was the very\none upon whom my husband had had his eye for a long while past. I watched\nthem, however, very narrowly, for I was determined that if my husband had\nreally taken a fancy for the girl he should never have her.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy, that would have facilitated matters, would it not?\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cDo you think,\u201d she replied, \u201cthat I would have allowed them to marry if\nthey loved each other? No, indeed! The Saints marry from principle and\nnot from love, as Brother Brigham has often told us. I hope you believe\nme, dear, when I say that I am not at all a jealous woman, but if my\nhusband dared to fall in love with a girl and to hide it from me, I could\nnot stand it I am sure. No! _principle_ is the only thing\u2014there can be\nno love in Polygamy. If a man loved his wife, do you think he could have\nthe heart to pain her by taking another? On the other hand, it is because\nof the love which still remains in their hearts, and which they weary\nthemselves to crush out, that so many of the first wives are miserable.\nBut I was going to tell you about Alice. I was mistaken in thinking that\nmy husband had been paying her any attentions. It appeared that he was\nacquainted with her father and mother, and that at their house he had\nfrequently seen the child Alice, but never supposed she was the Miss\nMaynard of whom I had spoken. But now they had come together at last he\ntook to her kindly and she to him, and really I sometimes almost thought\nthey wished to ignore me altogether.\n\n\u201cI did not let them waste much time fussing with one another, but they\ngot on very rapidly, nevertheless; and before I had time to arrange\nmatters properly, my husband told me that _to please me_ he was going to\nmarry Alice. Only fancy me being pleased at him marrying Alice! Why, it\nwasn\u2019t to please myself that I introduced the child to him, but simply\nbecause, if he _must_ have another wife, it was certainly best for me\nto choose one whom I could manage. However, they were married not long\nafter, and really I think I never was more disgusted in my life than I\nwas on that occasion. I was not jealous, but I do think he might have\npaid her a little less attention. In fact I quite regretted, when it was\ntoo late, that I had ever brought them together.\n\n\u201cThe Mormon men always do make themselves silly over their new wives,\nand I did not expect my husband to be an exception to the rule; but I\nwas perfectly astonished at the change that took place in Alice. Instead\nof the quiet, modest girl she used to be, she put on all sorts of airs,\nand treated me as if I were of not the slightest consequence. I couldn\u2019t\nstand that, and I resolved, if it were only to take the pride out of her,\nI would get my husband to marry another wife still. He wouldn\u2019t object,\nI knew, for he takes life very easily, and he has a great respect for\nmy opinion. Besides which, he is quite well enough off to support three\nwives; and as a matter of duty, if nothing else, he ought to do so. That\nwould soon bring Miss Alice to a proper state of mind, and she needed\nsomething of the sort; for, do you know, she had actually made that\nsilly husband of mine think that she ought to be treated with the same\nconsideration as myself.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, but,\u201d I said, \u201cif the principle of polygamy is of God, it is only\njust that all the wives should be treated alike. If my husband were to\nmarry another woman, much as it would pain me, I should treat her as an\nequal.\u201d\n\n\u201cThen,\u201d she replied, \u201cif you do so you will find that the first wives\nwill have nothing to do with you. You will find, when you come to be\nbetter acquainted with the people here, that the first wives do not\nwaste much love over the polygamic wives; and, of course, as a rule,\nthe polygamic wives detest the first wives. Then the plural wives get\ntogether and talk all manner of evil about the first wives, who do pretty\nmuch the same in respect to them. It is only natural that they should do\nso.\n\n\u201cBut I was going to tell you,\u201d she continued, \u201chow I selected the third\nwife. There was an emigrant-train expected in every day; and you know,\nwhen the emigrants arrive, all those women who want wives for their\nhusbands, and all those men who want to choose for themselves, go down\nto the camping-ground, and if they see a girl who takes their fancy they\nask her if she has got a place to go to, and if she has not they offer to\nreceive her themselves. There are hundreds of young girls who arrive here\nwithout any one to look after them, and who are only too glad to accept a\nhome for the winter. Now this was exactly what I did. I went down to the\ncamp and looked round for myself, and at last my eyes rested upon a young\nwoman of about thirty or thirty-five years of age, who I thought would\nbe a more suitable wife for my husband than that giggling chit that I\nchose for him at first. I decided at once that she would do, so I went up\nto her and asked her if she had any friends. She said she had a brother\nliving in the City; but when I explained to her how we were situated, and\nsaid that I should like her to come and stay with us till she could look\nround a little for herself, she agreed at once. Now\u2014I thought\u2014Miss Alice,\nwe shall see whether you are going to have things all your own way any\nlonger!\n\n\u201cI told her, however, as well as my husband, that I had brought home\na sister to stay with us a while, and they received her very kindly,\nand she soon made herself very useful and agreeable to us all. The\nbishop came and talked to my husband, and he made no difficulty at all\nin acceding to my wishes, and before long he made our visitor wife\nnumber three; and Alice, as a matter of course, lost a good deal of her\ninfluence over him. For my own part, I am much more comfortable. The two\nplural wives do nearly all the work, and I have little else to do than\nsuperintend the household and enjoy myself. My husband is one of those\nquiet sort of men who never interfere with domestic affairs, and I have\nmatters pretty much my own way now. The only thing that annoys me is\nhis fondness for Alice, who makes herself appear most amiable _to him_,\ndeceitful thing! I can\u2019t break him of that, but I often tell him that\nhe will find her out some day. He tells me that he looks upon her as a\nchild, and feels like a father towards her; no woman, he says, can ever\nhave his love but me. That sounds all very well; but as to believing it,\nthat is quite another thing\u2014I keep my eye on them, and watch them well.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d I said, \u201cit appears to me that it would have been far better\nif you had never given him another wife at all, you would have been\nsaved from annoyance, and the privacy of your home would not have been\ndisturbed. I am the more surprised, as your husband did not himself\ndesire it.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen you understand better the order of the kingdom, you will not speak\nin that way,\u201d she said. \u201cDo you suppose that I shall be satisfied to be\nthe wife of a man who could not exalt me in the celestial kingdom\u2014a man\nwith only one wife? Why I have often told my husband that if he did not\nget other wives I would leave. It is necessary for a man to have two\nwives, at least, if he would enter into the celestial kingdom. That is\nwhy I have been so anxious to get wives for my husband. At the same time\nthere is no necessity for him to fall in love, and act in a silly way\nover them. The only way in such a case is to set one to watch the other,\nand then they are pretty certain to keep the old man straight. You think,\nperhaps, that I don\u2019t feel all this, but you must not be deceived by\nappearances. I try to do the will of heaven with a smile on my face; and\nthe brethren have often told me that if the other sisters were more like\nme they would not have so much difficulty in establishing Polygamy. But,\ndear me, Sister Stenhouse, what a long talk we\u2019ve had! I\u2019ll come and see\nyou soon again, but I must hasten away now, for my husband will be home\nto supper by this time.\u201d\n\nSo she left me wondering over her strange story of a woman\u2019s experience\nin supplying her own husband with wives.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXIII.\n\nSOCIAL LIFE IN SALT LAKE CITY:\u2014BALL-ROOMS, \u201cWALL-FLOWERS,\u201d AND DIVORCE.\n\n\nWe had not been long in Salt Lake City before the ball-season commenced.\nThese balls afford splendid opportunities to the men for flirting with\nthe girls. No matter how old and homely a man is, he thinks that he has\nas much right to flirt and dance with the girls as the youngest boy; for\nthey all look upon themselves and each other as boys and single men, even\nif they have a dozen wives. There is no limit to their \u201cprivileges.\u201d\nThey are always in the market. Brigham, in his public discourses, has\nsaid that the brethren \u201care all young men under a hundred years of age.\u201d\nWith such an extended privilege, it is here in Utah that hoary Winter\nand smiling May can be seen galloping forth in the dance together\u2014a\nthoughtful subject for the artist\u2019s pencil.\n\nIt is of no consequence how much a man may flirt in the presence of his\nwife or wives. They must not presume to say one word to him about it; for\nthe husband is free to do whatever he likes. He is one of the lords of\ncreation. He is master of his wives, of his children. Then, how can one\nof his own dare to call in question anything he may think fit to do? She\n_may_, it is true, do so; but she must take the consequences of that rash\nact.\n\nOh! how I loathe even the very remembrance of those hateful ball-rooms,\nwhere I have seen so many unhappy wives, and have heard so many tales of\nsorrow. For, while the wives would be sitting as \u201cwall-flowers\u201d along\nthe sides of the halls, after having danced the first dance with their\nhusbands, as a matter of form, I have heard them many times telling each\nother about what they had seen their husbands doing during the evening;\nand how they had been compelled to pay attention to some simpering girl\nthat their husbands chanced to fancy; and how they had had to do it for\npeace sake, and appear to be satisfied.\n\nI do not mean to say that I did not like these social amusements myself,\nfor I did; and could, under other circumstances, have enjoyed them\nvery much. But I had been told so many things of the unpleasantness\nof a ball-room in Salt Lake City\u2014at least, to married women\u2014that my\napprehensions were aroused. But all that was ever told me never half came\nup to the truth; nor can I possibly myself give the reader any correct\nidea of the heartaches and sorrows which these scenes bring to the wives\nof Mormons.\n\nIt is quite a common thing for married men to go with young girls to\nthese balls. The majority of the men, however, prefer to take their first\nwives with them at the same time; but it is not infrequent to hear a lady\nsay in the ball-room, \u201cMy husband has brought his girl here to-night;\nbut I have not spoken one word to her, nor will I do so.\u201d Yet, if any\none were to ask these same ladies if they believed that Polygamy was\nright, they would say, \u201cCertainly I do; but I do not like _her_\u201d\u2014and this\nsimply because their husbands had paid _her_ attentions. This seems like\ninconsistency; but it serves to show what conflicting feelings Mormon\nwomen have to contend with.\n\nThe men should hear what their wives say about them in the ball-rooms,\nand the hatred they feel for them. I have seen some women sitting quietly\neyeing their husbands, as they danced or flirted with their younger\nloves, till their cup of indignation was full. Then they would make for\nthe dressing-rooms, where their anger would burst upon the ears of a\ngroup of eager listeners, who were seemingly pleased to learn that some\none else was suffering as well as themselves. A half-repressed threat, \u201cI\nwill be even with him\u201d has escaped the lips of those who, before that,\nhad passed for being happily situated.\n\nWhere new matrimonial alliances are continually taking place, the arrival\nof a gentleman, with his wife, wives, or a maiden, in the ball-room,\nis never remarked; and, not infrequently, different wives arrive at\ndifferent hours during the evenings, as it suits their convenience; and\nthus it would be difficult to say who came with their \u201clord.\u201d Besides,\nno observation is made if a lady thus enters the ball-room alone, though\nit is expected that her husband is aware of her coming. This coming\nalone, however, is not a common habit; but, as it is admissible, it does\noccasionally happen that a husband is dancing or enjoying himself in the\nball-room with his last _fianc\u00e9e_, when a vigilant pair of eyes searches\nover the room and lights upon the happy \u201clord.\u201d When eyes like these\nencounter the eyes they seek, a change is seen, and the youthful airiness\nof the gentleman vanishes, and sober looks follow the gaiety of the\nearlier hour.\n\nI met President Heber C. Kimball at one of these balls, soon after my\narrival. He said that he would introduce me to _his wife_. Every one\nliked Heber for his outspoken, honest bluntness. He took me up the hall\nand introduced me to five wives in succession! \u201cNow,\u201d said he, \u201cI think\nI\u2019ll quit; for I fancy you are not over strong in the faith.\u201d\n\nI asked, \u201cAre these all you have got?\u201d\n\n\u201cO dear, no,\u201d he said: \u201cI have _a few more at home_, and _about fifty\nmore_ scattered over the earth somewhere. I have never seen them since\nthey were sealed to me in Nauvoo, and I hope I never shall again.\u201d\n\nI thought this was terrible; but it was only the beginning of worse\nthings.\n\nAfter this winter, I had very little peace; for the women were constantly\ntalking to me about my husband getting another wife. He held out,\nhowever, for five years; but at last he \u201cfelt that it was his duty to do\nso,\u201d and I was silly enough to allow that \u201che was not living up to his\nreligion\u201d unless he took an extra wife.\n\nI shall never forget those ball-room scenes. Even to this day, when\nI chance to listen to tunes which I used to hear played in those\ntimes, they grate terribly upon my ear, and bring back so many sad\nrecollections, that I want to get away from the sound of them as quickly\nas possible, for they are more than I can endure. Bygone recollections\nare often recalled by trifles such as this.\n\nA few months ago I attended a ball in Salt Lake City. It was the first I\nhad been to since I withdrew from the Church; and of course it was got up\nby the \u201cLiberal Party.\u201d I felt free and happy, for there was nothing to\nannoy or disturb me. Suddenly the band struck up a tune which I had heard\nwhile attending the Mormon balls. It sounded like the death-knell of all\nmy pleasant feelings, and aroused memories of the past which were so\nintensely painful that I could not rally from the depression that I felt\nfor the rest of the evening. I had heard that tune before, and many like\nit, and had even danced to it, while my heart was breaking.\n\nLet me ask my lady readers\u2014those, I mean, who have never been in Utah.\nLadies, how do you think you would feel if _you_ were kept waiting long\nafter the hour of midnight, far away into the morning, until your\nhusbands had got through with their dancing and flirting, while your own\nhearts were breaking? I think I hear you say, \u201cI would not stand it.\u201d You\ndo not know, I assure you, _what_ you would do under the circumstances.\nHow can you possibly judge what the feelings of a Mormon woman are, who\nhas been taught to believe that \u201cher desire shall be unto her husband,\n_and he shall rule over her_.\u201d\n\nIn very early days Brigham built a theatre, and a very fair amount of\nhistrionic talent was developed among the Saints. The Social Hall, in\nwhich were held balls, public entertainments, and other amusements, was\nused for histrionic performances before the theatre was built. Brigham\nowned the theatre. Money was to be made out of it; and the chance of\nmaking money Brother Brigham never permitted to slip through his fingers.\nBrigham\u2019s eyes were sharp enough to see that a theatre would be to him a\nsource of profit, but he did not look far enough. That theatre\u2014under the\nimmediate direction of the Prophet, with his own daughters acting in it,\nwith the plays which were performed under his own censorship\u2014has been one\nof the many causes which have perceptibly, although perhaps indirectly,\nshaken the hold which Mormonism had upon many a woman\u2019s mind.\n\nA man would probably witness the performance of a play and return from\nthe theatre with no other thought than the remembrance of an hour\u2019s\namusement. But not so a woman. To her the play suggested something\nmore, and her daughters would share her thoughts. Daily and hourly, it\nmight be, the effects of Polygamy would be brought under their notice\nas a matter affecting themselves personally. They might be firm in the\nfaith, but the observant instincts of their sex could never be wholly\ncrushed. They would notice the neglect which wives endured even from good\nhusbands; they would see a man leaving the wife of his youth, the mother\nof his children, and, careless of the cruel wrong he did her, leave her\nin lonely sorrow while he was spending his time in love-making with\nsome young girl who might have been his daughter. They would see a wife\ncrushing out from her heart the holiest impulses which God had implanted\nthere, striving to destroy all affection for him whose dearest treasure\nthat affection should have been, because, indeed, Polygamy could not\nexist with love. They would see and know, and themselves personally feel,\nthe degradation and misery of the \u201c_Celestial_ Order of Marriage;\u201d and\nthat to them would be the practical picture of life.\n\nBut in the theatre\u2014short-sighted Brigham, to allow it to be so!\u2014another\npicture would be presented for their consideration; a picture it might\nbe, ideal in its details and surroundings, but true to the letter in\nthe lesson which it conveyed and the thoughts which it suggested. The\ndisgusting, the brutalizing cruelties of Polygamy, were never represented\non the stage. Thoughts so coarse, so sensual, could never inspire the\ntrue poet\u2019s pen. No; the tale of love, as the poet tells it, is all that\nis refined, and chaste, and delicate, and pure; the commingling of two\nsouls, the unison of two loving hearts, the hopes, the aspirations, the\ntender joyful sorrows of two fond natures\u2014of _two alone_! Such is the\npicture presented as the ideal of the beautiful and of the good. Then,\ntoo, the delicate attentions of the devoted lover, his happiness even in\nthe shadow of a smile from _her_, the lofty pedestal upon which to his\nimagination _she_ stands, a queen and peerless; or the confiding love of\nthe heroine of the story; blushingly confessing to herself that there is\n_one_ heart on earth which is all her own, and in which none but herself\ncan ever rule or reign.\n\nThe Mormon women are not devoid of common sense, nor are they destitute\nof those quick perceptions which, under all circumstances, distinguish\ntheir sex. They see on the stage representations of the happiness\nattendant upon love and marriage, such as God ordained, and such as finds\na response in every heart; and they compare such pleasant pictures with\nwhat they know and have witnessed of Polygamy, and they draw painful\ninferences therefrom. Their faith may be proof against apostasy, but the\nimpression left upon their minds produces its effect notwithstanding.\n\nThe spring came on, and our prospects began to brighten. My husband not\nonly found remunerative employment for his pen in Salt Lake City, but\nwas also engaged as special correspondent to the _New York Herald_ and\nseveral of the California papers.\n\nOne morning, a countryman, roughly dressed and looking the picture of\ncare, called at our house and asked to see Mr. Stenhouse. I gazed at him\nfor a moment, for I thought there was something familiar in the sound of\nhis voice. He looked at me, and I at once recognized him; it was Monsieur\nBalif himself, in whose house we had lived in Switzerland. But, oh, how\nchanged he was! Once a refined, handsome, gentlemanly man; now a mere\nwreck of his former self, careworn, rough-looking, poorly clad. He and\nhis family had been in Utah six years, and had suffered all the ills that\npoverty can induce: the change which was wrought in him was so great,\nthat for some moments I was so overcome by my feelings that I could not\nutter a word. In the few short years which had elapsed since I saw him in\nhis own bright and happy home, he had become quite an old man. I hardly\ndared to ask about his wife, for I feared what his answer might be; but\nafter a little while he told me that she had sent her love, and would\nlike to see me whenever I could find an opportunity to call upon her.\nThey lived some miles from the city, but I told him that I would not fail\nto visit them whenever it was possible for me to do so.\n\nI talked a long while with Monsieur Balif, and was much interested in\nwhat he told me. He made no complaints; he had still firm faith in\nMormonism, and said that if the brethren had not dealt fairly by him they\nwould be answerable to God for what they had done. \u201cBesides,\u201d he added,\n\u201cI do not blame them so much, for they are Americans, and would not be\nhappy if they did not get the advantage in some way.\u201d\n\nI was anxious to ask him if he had been induced to take another wife,\nas he had been in Utah during the \u201cReformation,\u201d and I did not see\nhow it was possible for him to have escaped; but while I was thinking\nhow I might put the question delicately, he saved me the trouble by\nhimself telling me that he had married the young servant-girl, whom his\nwife had taken from Switzerland with her. This information was quite\na shock to me, for I well knew the proud spirit of his wife, and I\ncould realize what anguish this second marriage must have caused her;\nI did not, however, like to question him on the subject. So I turned\nthe conversation into another channel, and when he went away I sent\nkind messages to Madame Balif, saying that I would seize the very first\nopportunity of hearing from her own lips the story of all they had gone\nthrough.\n\nHere, again, I found the trail of that monster\u2014Polygamy. This time in the\nhome of my dearest friend. From the moment when she and I had mingled our\ntears together in Switzerland, over that abomination, life had been to me\none long, weary, sickening battle with my own heart; one futile attempt\nto fully convince myself that Polygamy was right and that I was wrong. I\ncertainly did believe, or thought that I believed, the doctrine was true.\nBut at times nature prevailed in the struggle, and womanly indignation\nand anger rose in arms against faith. These feelings were, however, at\nonce and unhesitatingly subdued; faith returned triumphant, and I was\nagain convinced that the Revelation _must_ have been the will of the\nLord, and that my duty was to submit, but not to question. In moments\nof comparative self-control I had even tried, as a Missionary\u2019s wife,\nto justify it to others, but only to witness an outburst of sorrow and\nanger, and to feel still more the weakness of my position. That had been\nmy own experience; but how had the time passed with my dear old friend?\nShe must, no doubt, have been as greatly disappointed as I was when she\ncame to Zion and saw things as they really were, and not as they had been\nrepresented to us.\n\nMy own eyes had certainly been opened not a little since my arrival.\nInstead of finding the people enjoying the comforts and blessings of\nlife, which we had been taught were strewn around them in profuse\nabundance, we found among all but the leading families the greatest\npoverty and privation. The majority of the people were living in little\nlog or adobe houses, of one or at the utmost two rooms, of most primitive\nconstruction, and without the slightest convenience of any description.\nTheir food was bread and molasses, and it might be an occasional morsel\nof meat; but many of them scarcely ever indulged in the latter, or in any\narticle of grocery, for months at a time. Their floors and walls were\nbare, and their clothing poor and scanty; and yet, destitute as they were\nof all the comforts and conveniences of life, they were conscientiously\nendeavouring like good Saints to practise Polygamy, because, as they\nbelieved, the Lord had commanded it.\n\nIn respect to education they were in even a worse position. Books,\npictures, and periodicals of any kind, there were none, with the\nexception of that dreary organ of the church, the _Deseret News_\u2014the\nsoporific influence of which some wicked Apostate has likened to a\ndose of Winslow\u2019s soothing syrup. Brigham Young, himself an illiterate\nman, and the leading Elders, frowned upon every attempt to raise the\nintellectual _status_ of the people; and so little encouragement was\ngiven, that no one could afford to keep school. The consequence was,\nthat the boys and girls grew up with little more education than their\nown sense of necessity taught them to acquire for themselves; and it was\nnot until very recently that any suitable efforts were made to supply\ntrained teachers and to open schools in which a thorough education could\nbe afforded.\n\nI have already mentioned the sermons of the Tabernacle, and observed\nhow little calculated they were to elevate the character or cultivate\nthe minds of the people. I have before me as I write a choice morsel\nextracted from one of the sermons of Heber C. Kimball, which I think I\nmust give for the reader\u2019s benefit.\n\nFancy an \u201cApostle!\u201d thus addressing a large and mixed congregation of\nmen, women, and children:\u2014\n\n\u201cHere are some edicated men jest under my nose. They come here and they\nthink they know more than I do, and then they git the big head, and it\nswells and swells until it gits like the old woman\u2019s squash\u2014you go to\ntouch it and it goes ker-smash; and when you look for the man, why he\nain\u2019t thar. They\u2019re jest like so many pots in a furnace\u2014yer know I\u2019ve\nbeen a potter in my time\u2014almighty thin and almighty big; and when they\u2019re\nsot up the heat makes \u2019em smoke a little, and then they collapse and\ntumble in, and they aint no whar.\u201d\n\nThis was Heber\u2019s style in general. Next to making modest people blush,\nnothing pleased him better than to annoy or ridicule any one who had\nthe smallest pretensions to education; and yet naturally Heber was\na kind-hearted man. Brigham\u2019s style is very little better, and the\nsubstance of his discourses quite as bad. I will give a very favourable\nspecimen, taken from a sermon on Polygamy, delivered some years ago,\ntouched up and corrected, and published in the official organ, the\n_Deseret News_:\u2014\n\n\u201cMen will say, \u2018My wife, though a most excellent woman, has not seen a\nhappy day since I took my second wife.\u2019 \u2018No, not a happy day for a year,\u2019\nsays one; and another has not seen a happy day for five years.\n\n\u201cI am going to set every woman at liberty, and say to them, Now go\nyour way\u2014my women with the rest; go your way. And my wives have got to\ndo one of two things; either round up their shoulders to endure the\nafflictions of this world and live their religion, or they must leave;\nfor I will not have them about me. I will go into heaven alone rather\nthan have scratching and fighting around me. I will set all at liberty.\n\u2018What, first wife too!\u2019 Yes, I will liberate you all. I know there is\nno cessation to the everlasting whinings of many of the women in this\nterritory; I am satisfied that this is the case; and if the women will\nturn from the commandments of God, and continue to despise the order of\nheaven, I will pray that the curse of the Almighty may be close to their\nheels, and that it may be following them all the day long. And those that\nenter into it (the celestial order) and are faithful, I will promise\nthem that they shall be queens in heaven and rulers to all eternity.\n\n\u201cNow if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do\nso, I promise that you will be damned.\u201d\n\nThis was sweet language for a Prophet and a Saint to utter, and yet it is\nnot half so coarse or improper as some whole sermons that I have listened\nto from the lips of Brother Brigham and the other leaders of the Church.\n\nThe Apostle Orson Pratt is the only one who has dared, in the presence of\nBrigham, to say that education was a proper thing, and that there were\nmany books which would be of good service to the Saints, if they obtained\nand studied them. On one occasion, Brigham arose in ire, and said,\u2014\n\n\u201cThe professor has told you that there are many books in the world, and\nI tell you that there are many people there. He says there is something\nin all these books; I say each of those persons has got a name. It would\ndo you just as much good to learn those somebodies\u2019 names as it would to\nread those books. Five minutes\u2019 revelation would teach me more truth than\nall this pack of nonsense that I should have packed away in my unlucky\nbrains from books.\u201d\n\nBut the Prophet has changed with the times, and there are now in Utah\nvery good schools, both Mormon and Gentile, but none of them are\n_free_-schools. Bishop Taylor once said in a public lecture that they\nwere \u201cdestructive to the best interests of the community;\u201d and the\nbishop\u2019s \u201clord\u201d in the Lion-House is exactly of the same opinion, for he\nhas repeatedly declared that \u201cthere _shall be no_ \u2018free-schools\u2019 within\nhis Saintly \u2018Kingdom\u2019 on earth.\u201d Nevertheless, Brother Brigham and his\n\u201c_Infallible_ Priesthood\u201d are at last beginning to discover that although\nthe night of ignorance and superstition may hate the clear daylight of\ntruth and knowledge, when the great Ruler of all commands the light to\ncome forth it is not in the power of man, with all his boasting, to\nforbid the sun to shine upon the dark places of the earth.\n\nBalls, parties, and the theatre provided amusement for the people in Salt\nLake City itself; but in the Settlements there was little else in the\nshape of recreation than idle gossip or the harangues of the Tabernacle.\n\nAt the time when we went to Utah, Mormon society was slowly recovering\nfrom that terrible marrying mania which had set in during the\n\u201cReformation,\u201d and a season of divorce was the result.\n\nThe authorities at that time, as I have already observed, had urged every\nperson, without distinction, into Polygamy. Men and women had been forced\nto marry one another without any respect to affection or fitness, and the\nresult was that hundreds of marriages were entered into which made those\nwho contracted them miserable for life, but the consequences of which\nthey could not avoid. At the same time not a few were divorced almost\nimmediately after they were married, and these things were a matter of\ndaily occurrence. Brigham Young, with his eye perpetually on the dollar,\nfinding that his marrying scheme, like many other of his \u201cdivine\u201d plans,\nwas a failure, saw at once that quite a nice little sum might be realized\nby charging a fee for divorces. Nothing was charged for marrying; but if\nthe people insisted on having divorces, why, the best, and certainly the\nmost profitable thing, was to make them pay for them. When we first went\nto Utah, the Prophet was doing quite a flourishing business in that line.\nAny one could get a divorce for ten dollars; and Brigham publicly in the\nTabernacle jested about it, and said that the money thus obtained came\nin very conveniently as pin-money for his wives, though I doubt if they\never received a dollar of it. He added, that so far as \u201ceternity\u201d was\nconcerned, these divorces were not worth the paper they were written on;\nthe people had married for eternity, and in eternity they would have to\nlive together, whether they liked it or not. He says the same to-day; but\nstill he sells his divorces, and gathers in the ten dollars.\n\nAs I have written so much of the troubles of the sisters, perhaps it will\nbe as well to give the reader an idea of the trials and difficulties\nwhich the brethren had to contend with when they first attempted the\nintroduction of Polygamy. To do this, I shall give the correspondence\nof Miss Martha Brotherton, formerly of Manchester, England, relating to\na very interesting courtship between herself and Brigham Young. I would\nhave the reader remark that this correspondence distinctly proves that\nPolygamy was taught by the heads of the church _before_ the Prophet\nreceived the professed revelation.\n\nThis account was published just a year, lacking one day, before the\nrevelation on Polygamy was given to Joseph Smith. It was published in\nBoston, in book form, in 1842. The revelation was given at Nauvoo, on the\n12th of July 1843.\n\nThe following is the letter referred to:[2]\u2014\n\n                          \u201cST. LOUIS, Missouri, July 13, A.D. 1842.\n\n    \u201cDEAR SIR,\u2014I left Warsaw a short time since for this city, and\n    having been called upon by you, through the _Sangamo Journal_,\n    to come out and disclose to the world the facts of the case\n    in relation to certain propositions made to me, at Nauvoo, by\n    some of the Mormon leaders, I now proceed to respond to the\n    call, and discharge what I consider to be a duty devolving\n    upon me as an innocent, but insulted and abused female. I\n    had been at Nauvoo nearly three weeks, during which time my\n    father\u2019s family received frequent visits from Elders Brigham\n    Young and Heber C. Kimball, two of the Mormon Apostles; when,\n    early one morning, they both came to my brother-in-law\u2019s (John\n    McIlwrick\u2019s) house, at which place I was then on a visit, and\n    particularly requested me to go and spend a few days with them.\n    I told them I could not at that time, as my brother-in-law was\n    not at home; however, they urged me to go the next day and\n    spend one day with them. The day being fine, I accordingly\n    went. When I arrived at the foot of the hill, Young and Kimball\n    were standing conversing together. They both came to me, and\n    after several flattering compliments, Kimball wished me to\n    go to his house first. I said it was immaterial to me, and\n    went accordingly. We had not, however, gone many steps when\n    Young suddenly stopped, and said he would go to that brother\u2019s\n    (pointing to a little log hut a few yards distant), and tell\n    him that you (speaking to Kimball) and Brother Glover, or\n    Grover (I do not remember which) will value his land. When he\n    had gone, Kimball turned to me and said, \u2018Martha, I want you\n    to say to my wife, when you go to my house, that you want to\n    buy some things at Joseph\u2019s store (Joseph Smith\u2019s), and I will\n    say I am going with you to show you the way. You know you want\n    to see the Prophet, and you will then have an opportunity.\u2019 I\n    made no reply. Young again made his appearance, and the subject\n    was dropped. We soon reached Kimball\u2019s house, when Young took\n    his leave, saying, \u2018I shall see you again, Martha.\u2019 I remained\n    at Kimball\u2019s nearly an hour; when Kimball, seeing I would not\n    tell the lies he wished me to, told them to his wife himself.\n    He then went and whispered in her ear, and asked if that would\n    please her. \u2018Yes,\u2019 she said, \u2018or I can go along with you and\n    Martha.\u2019 \u2018No,\u2019 said he, \u2018I have some business to do, and I\n    will call for you afterwards to go with me to the debate,\u2019\n    meaning the debate between yourself and Joseph. To this she\n    consented. So Kimball and I went to the store together. As\n    we were going along, he said, \u2018Sister Martha, are you willing\n    to do all that the Prophet requires you to do?\u2019 I said, I\n    believed I was\u2014thinking, of course, he would require nothing\n    wrong. \u2018Then,\u2019 said he, \u2018are you ready to take counsel?\u2019 I\n    answered in the affirmative, thinking of the great and glorious\n    blessings that had been pronounced upon my head if I adhered\n    to the counsel of those placed over me in the Lord. \u2018Well,\u2019\n    said he \u2018there are many things revealed in these last days\n    that the world would laugh and scoff at; but unto us is given\n    to know the mysteries of the kingdom.\u2019 He further observed,\n    \u2018Martha, you must learn to hold your tongue, and it will be\n    well with you. You will see Joseph, and very likely will have\n    some conversation with him, and he will tell you what you shall\n    do.\u2019 When we reached the building, he led me up some stairs\n    to a small room, the door of which was locked, and on it the\n    following inscription, \u2018Positively no admittance.\u2019 He observed,\n    \u2018Ah! Brother Joseph must be sick, for, strange to say, he is\n    not here. Come down into the tithing-office, Martha.\u2019 He then\n    left me in the tithing-office and went out, I know not where.\n    In this office were two men writing, one of whom, William\n    Clayton, I had seen in England; the other I did not know. Young\n    came in and seated himself before me, and asked where Kimball\n    was. I said he had gone out. He said it was all right. Soon\n    after, Joseph came in and spoke to one of the clerks, and then\n    went upstairs, followed by Young. Immediately after, Kimball\n    came in. \u2018Now Martha,\u2019 said he, \u2018the Prophet has come; come\n    upstairs.\u2019 I went, and we found Young and the Prophet alone.\n    I was introduced to the Prophet by Young. Joseph offered me\n    his seat, and, to my astonishment, the moment I was seated,\n    Joseph and Kimball walked out of the room, and left me with\n    Young, who arose, locked the door, closed the window, and drew\n    the curtain. He then came and sat before me and said, \u2018This\n    is our private room, Martha.\u2019 \u2018Indeed, sir,\u2019 said I; \u2018I must\n    be highly honoured to be permitted to enter it.\u2019 He smiled,\n    and then proceeded, \u2018Sister Martha, I want to ask you a few\n    questions; will you answer them?\u2019 \u2018Yes, sir,\u2019 said I. \u2018And\n    will you promise me not to mention them to any one?\u2019 \u2018If it\n    is your desire, sir,\u2019 said I, \u2018I will not.\u2019 \u2018And you will not\n    think any the worse of me for it; will you, Martha?\u2019 said he.\n    \u2018No, sir,\u2019 I replied. \u2018Well,\u2019 said he, \u2018what are your feelings\n    toward me?\u2019 I replied, \u2018My feelings are just the same toward\n    you that they ever were, sir.\u2019 \u2018But, to come to the point\n    more closely,\u2019 said he, \u2018have not you an affection for me,\n    that, were it lawful and right, you would accept of me for\n    your husband and companion?\u2019 My feelings at this moment were\n    indescribable. God only knows them. What, thought I, are these\n    men, that I thought almost perfection itself, deceivers, and\n    is all my fancied happiness but a dream? \u2019Twas even so; but\n    my next thought was, which is the best way for me to act at\n    this time? If I say _No_, they may do as they think proper;\n    and to say _Yes_, I never would. So I considered it best to\n    ask for time to think and pray about it. I therefore said,\n    \u2018If it was lawful and right, perhaps I might; but you know,\n    sir, it is not.\u2019 \u2018Well, but,\u2019 said he, \u2018Brother Joseph has\n    had a revelation from God that it is lawful and right for a\n    man to have two wives; for, as it was in the days of Abraham,\n    so it shall be in these last days, and whoever is the first\n    that is willing to take up the cross will receive the greatest\n    blessings; and, if you will accept of me, I will take you\n    straight to the celestial kingdom; and, if you will have me\n    in this world, I will have you in that which is to come, and\n    Brother Joseph will marry us here, to-day, and you can go home\n    this evening, and your parents will not know anything about\n    it.\u2019 \u2018Sir,\u2019 said I, \u2018I should not like to do anything of the\n    kind without the permission of my parents.\u2019 \u2018Well, but,\u2019 said\n    he, \u2018you are of age, are you not?\u2019 \u2018No, sir,\u2019 said I; \u2018I shall\n    not be until the 24th of May.\u2019 \u2018Well,\u2019 said he, \u2018that does not\n    make any difference. You will be of age before they know, and\n    you need not fear. If you will take my counsel, it will be well\n    with you, for I know it to be right before God; and if there is\n    any sin in it, I will answer for it. But Brother Joseph wishes\n    to have some talk with you on the subject; he will explain\n    things; will you hear him?\u2019 \u2018I do not mind,\u2019 said I. \u2018Well, but\n    I want you to say something,\u2019 said he. \u2018I want to think about\n    it,\u2019 said I. \u2018Well,\u2019 said he, \u2018I will have a kiss, anyhow,\u2019 and\n    then rose, and said he would bring Joseph. He then unlocked the\n    door, and took the key, and locked me up alone. He was absent\n    about ten minutes, and then returned with Joseph. \u2018Well,\u2019 said\n    Young, \u2018Sister Martha would be willing if she knew it was\n    lawful and right before God.\u2019 \u2018Well, Martha,\u2019 said Joseph, \u2018it\n    is lawful and right before God\u2014I _know_ it is. Look here, sis;\n    don\u2019t you believe in me.\u2019 I did not answer. \u2018Well, Martha,\u2019\n    said Joseph, \u2018just go ahead, and do as Brigham wants you to; he\n    is the best man in the world, except me.\u2019 \u2018Oh!\u2019 said Brigham,\n    \u2018then you are as good.\u2019 \u2018Yes,\u2019 said Joseph. \u2018Well,\u2019 said\n    Young, \u2018we believe Joseph to be a Prophet. I have known him\n    near eight years, and have always found him the same.\u2019 \u2018Yes,\u2019\n    said Joseph, \u2018and I know that this is lawful and right before\n    God, and if there is any sin in it, I will answer for it before\n    God; and I have the keys of the kingdom, and whatever I bind\n    on earth is bound in heaven, and whatever I loose on earth is\n    loosed in heaven; and if you will accept of Brigham, you shall\n    be blessed\u2014God shall bless you, and my blessing shall rest upon\n    you; and, if you will be led by him, you will do well; for I\n    know that Brigham will do well by you, and if he don\u2019t do his\n    duty to you, come to me, and I will make him; and if you do not\n    like it in a month or two, come to me and I will make you free\n    again; and if he turns you off, I will take you on.\u2019 \u2018Sir,\u2019\n    said I, rather warmly, \u2018it will be too late to think in a month\n    or two after. I want time to think first.\u2019 \u2018Well, but,\u2019 said\n    he, \u2018the old proverb is, \u201cNothing ventured, nothing gained,\u201d\n    and it will be the greatest blessing that was ever bestowed\n    upon you.\u2019 \u2018Yes,\u2019 said Young, \u2018and you will never have reason\n    to repent it\u2014that is, if I do not turn from righteousness, and\n    that, I trust, I never shall; for I believe God, who has kept\n    me so long, will continue to keep me faithful. Did you ever see\n    me act in any way wrong in England, Martha?\u2019 \u2018No, sir,\u2019 said\n    I. \u2018No,\u2019 said he; \u2018neither can any one else lay anything to my\n    charge.\u2019 \u2018Well, then,\u2019 said Joseph, \u2018what are you afraid of,\n    sis? Come, let me do the business for you.\u2019 \u2018Sir,\u2019 said I, \u2018do\n    let me have a little time to think about it, and I will promise\n    not to mention it to any one.\u2019 \u2018Well, but look here,\u2019 said he;\n    \u2018you know a fellow will never be damned for doing the best he\n    knows how.\u2019 \u2018Well, then,\u2019 said I, \u2018the best way I know of is,\n    to go home and think and pray about it.\u2019 \u2018Well,\u2019 said Young, \u2018I\n    shall leave it with Brother Joseph, whether it would be best\n    for you to have time or not.\u2019 \u2018Well,\u2019 said Joseph, \u2018I see no\n    harm in her having time to think, if she will not fall into\n    temptation.\u2019 \u2018Oh sir!\u2019 said I, \u2018there is no fear of my falling\n    into temptation.\u2019 \u2018Well, but,\u2019 said Brigham, \u2018you must promise\n    me you will never mention it to any one.\u2019 \u2018I do promise it,\u2019\n    said I. \u2018Well,\u2019 said Joseph, \u2018you must promise me the same.\u2019 I\n    promised him the same. \u2018Upon your honour,\u2019 said he, \u2018you will\n    not tell.\u2019 \u2018No, sir; I will lose my life first,\u2019 said I. \u2018Well,\n    that will do,\u2019 said he; \u2018that is the principle we go upon. I\n    think I can trust you, Martha,\u2019 said he. \u2018Yes,\u2019 said I, \u2018I\n    think you ought.\u2019 Joseph said, \u2018She looks as if she could keep\n    a secret.\u2019 I then rose to go, when Joseph commenced to beg\n    of me again. He said it was the best opportunity they might\n    have for months, for the room was often engaged. I, however,\n    had determined what to do. \u2018Well,\u2019 said Young, \u2018I will see you\n    to-morrow. I am going to preach at the school-house opposite\n    your house. I have never preached there yet; you will be there,\n    I suppose.\u2019 \u2018Yes,\u2019 said I. The next day being Sunday, I sat\n    down, instead of going to meeting, and wrote the conversation,\n    and gave it to my sister, who was not a little surprised;\n    but she said it would be best to go to the meeting in the\n    afternoon. We went, and Young administered the sacrament. After\n    it was over, I was passing out, and Young stopped me, saying,\n    \u2018Wait, Martha; I am coming.\u2019 I said, \u2018I cannot; my sister is\n    waiting for me.\u2019 He then threw his coat over his shoulders, and\n    followed me out, and whispered, \u2018Have you made up your mind,\n    Martha?\u2019 \u2018Not exactly, sir,\u2019 said I; and we parted. I shall\n    proceed to a justice of the peace, and make oath to the truth\n    of these statements, and you are at liberty to make what use of\n    them you may think best.\n\n                       \u201cYours respectfully,\n\n                                             \u201cMARTHA A. BROTHERTON.\n\n    \u201cSworn to and described before me, this 13th day of July, A.D.\n    1842.\n\n                                      \u201cDU BOUFFAY FREMON,\n                         \u201cJustice of the Peace for St. Louis County.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXIV.\n\nTHE ORIGIN OF \u201cTHE REFORMATION:\u201d\u2014EXTRAORDINARY DOINGS OF THE SAINTS.\n\n\nThe popular idea of Mormonism is that the peculiar feature which\ndistinguishes it from all other Christian sects is Polygamy. To a certain\nextent this is, of course, true; but it is only a partial statement of\nthe truth. If Polygamy were to be relinquished, it would still be found\nthat Mormonism had really very little in common with other sects, and\nvery much that was completely antagonistic to them.\n\nThe confession of faith published by Joseph Smith during his lifetime\nwould certainly deceive an uninitiated person; and it was in consequence\nof the ambiguity of that very document that so many unsuspecting persons\nwere from the beginning of Mormonism led astray by the teachings of the\nMissionaries. The convert was told that the Mormon faith proclaimed the\nexistence of one true God, but he was not told that Father Adam was\nthat deity, and that he is \u201clike a well-to-do farmer.\u201d He was told that\nChrist was the Son of God, but he was not taught that the Virgin Mary\nwas \u201cthe lawful wife of God the Father,\u201d and that \u201cHe intended after the\nresurrection to take her again, as one of His own wives, to raise up\nimmortal spirits in eternity. He was told of faith in a Saviour, he was\nnot told that men were the only saviours of their wives, and that unless\na woman pleased her husband, and was obedient and was saved _by him_, she\ncould not be saved at all. He was told that the Saints believed in the\nHoly Ghost, but he was not told that \u201cThe Holy Ghost is a man; he is one\nof the sons of our Father and our God.... You think our Father and our\nGod is not a lively, sociable, and cheerful man; He is one of the most\nlively men that ever lived!\u201d\n\nAnd yet, although such fearful and shocking blasphemy was, of course,\nhidden from the convert whom it was desirable to impress with the idea\nthat Mormonism was only a development of Christianity, it was openly\ntaught in the sermons in the Tabernacle before thousands of people, and\ninculcated in the writings of the highest authorities. The passages which\nI have just quoted, were preached in public, were taken down in shorthand\nwere revised under the superintendence of Brigham Young or one of the\nchief leaders, were then printed and published in Salt Lake City, and\nafterwards reprinted in another form.\n\nThe verbal repetition of such blasphemy as this would be simply painful\nand disgusting to any right-minded person. I shall therefore endeavour to\ngive an idea of some of these outrageous doctrines without entering too\nclosely into details. Should the reader, however, wish to search and see\nfor him self, I refer him to the _Journals of Discourses_, the files of\nthe Church papers, and the publications of the Mormon writers generally.\n\nOne of the first innovations upon the received faith of ordinary\nChristians was the doctrine of Polytheism. There can be no doubt that,\neven in Joseph\u2019s time, that doctrine was taught, although, as in the\ncase of Polygamy, all knowledge of it was kept from every one but the\ninitiated\u2014the \u201cstrong men\u201d who could be entrusted with the inner secrets\nof the church leaders. That such a doctrine, however, was beginning,\neven then, to form part of the faith of the Saints, may be seen in the\nfollowing lines upon the occasion of the Prophet\u2019s murder:\u2014\n\n    \u201cUnchanged in death, with a _Saviour\u2019s_ love,\n    He pleads their cause in the courts above.\n    His home\u2019s in the sky, _he dwells with the Gods_,\n    Far from the furious rage of mobs!\n    ...\n    He died! he died for those he loved;\n    _He reigns!_ _He reigns_ in the realms above.\u201d\n\nMany other instances, even stronger than this, could easily be given.\n\nThe Mormon idea of the other world, while in some respects it differed\nfrom the teachings of certain modern \u201cSpiritualists,\u201d was not altogether\ndissimilar. The soul was said to be immortal, and it had three stages of\nexistence. The first was purely spiritual\u2014the state of the soul _before_\nit came into this world. Spirits in that condition were not perfect, they\nmust first take a fleshly body, and pass through the trials of life,\nbefore they could attain to the highest state of existence. Hence it was\na solemn duty, as well as their highest privilege, for men to practise\npolygamy:\u2014their duty, as by this means, and by this alone, the yet\nimperfect souls now waiting to come into this world could ever hope to be\nadmitted into the \u201cCelestial Kingdom;\u201d\u2014and a privilege,\u2014as all the souls\nwhom they thus assisted to emigrate would form their own \u201cKingdoms\u201d in\neternity, over which, as kings and priests, they would reign for ever and\never.\n\nThe second stage of the soul\u2019s existence is the mortal; with which we all\nare sadly well acquainted. The third is the condition subsequent to the\nResurrection, when they believe the flesh and bones will form the raised\nbody, but the blood will not be there; for the blood is the principle\nof corrupt life, and therefore another spirit supplies its place in\nheaven. That Christ partook of some broiled fish and part of a honeycomb\nis evident from Holy Scripture; the Mormons therefore teach that heaven\nwill be very much the same as earth, only considerably improved. We shall\nnot marry there or be given in marriage; hence it is necessary for us\nto marry here, and to marry as much as we can, for then in heaven a man\nwill take the wives whom he married on earth, or who have been sealed to\nhim by proxy; they will be his queens, and their children will be his\nsubjects. We shall eat, and drink, and feast, and spend a happy time\ngenerally. We shall henceforth never die; hence we shall ourselves be\ngods!\n\nIt was in the pre-existent state, the Mormons teach, that the work of\nsalvation was first planned; but not after the fashion believed by all\nChristians. A grand celestial council was held, at which all the Sons\nof God appeared. Michael, the father of all, presided, and stated that\nhe proposed to create a new world, of which he proceeded to give some\ndetails. His first begotten then arose, and made a speech, in which he\nproposed that Michael, his father, should go down to the world, when\ncreated, with Eve, his mother, and do there much after the fashion of\nwhat is related of our first parents in the Book of Genesis; he himself\nwould descend some thousands of years subsequently, and would lead his\nerring brethren back, and save them _from_ their sins. Lucifer, the\nsecond son, then stood forth and unfolded _his_ plan. Jealous of the\npopularity of his elder brother, he proposed to save men _in_ their sins.\n\nGreat discussion ensued, in which the unnumbered family of heaven divided\ninto three parties; one under each of the two elder sons, and the third\nstanding neutral. After a terrible conflict, Lucifer, the second son, was\ndefeated, and, with all his followers, was driven out of heaven. They\ndescended into the abyss, where they founded the infernal kingdom, of\nwhich Lucifer became the chief. He was henceforth known as the Devil.\nAdam created his world, and carried out his part of the plan; and in due\ntime the eldest son, who conquered in heaven, took upon him the form of\nflesh, dwelt among men, and was known as their Redeemer. The spirits\nwho stood neutral during the fight subsequently took upon them forms of\nflesh, entering into the children of Ham, and were known as negroes.\nTherefore it is, that although the American Indians and all other races\nare eligible for the Mormon priesthood, the negro alone could never\nattain to that high dignity.\n\nOn the 9th of April, 1852, Brigham Young publicly announced that,\u2014\n\n\u201cWhen our father Adam came into the Garden of Eden, he came into it with\na celestial body, and brought Eve, one of his wives, with him. He helped\nto make and organize this world. He is Michael the Archangel, the Ancient\nof Days, about whom holy men have written and spoken. He is our \u2018Father\nand our God,\u2019 and the only god with whom we have to do.\u201d\n\nThis public declaration gave great offence, and led to the apostacy of\nmany. Nevertheless, Brigham Young thinks that just as Adam came down to\nEden and subsequently became a god, in like manner he also himself will\nattain to the godhead. Heber C. Kimball, zealous to go a step further,\ndeclared that Brigham _was_ \u201cGod,\u201d and that he, Kimball, stood toward\nhim in the same relation as the Third Person in the Blessed Trinity does\ntowards the First.\n\nIt will hence be seen that subordination is one of the first principles\nof the Mormon faith, and this even in the Church organization of the\nSaints has been distinctively shown. For the purposes for which it exists\nthe Mormon hierarchy could not be surpassed. Of the Priesthood there are\ntwo orders\u2014the Melchisedec and the Aaronic; of which the former ranks\nfirst and highest. The lowest rank in the Church is the \u201cDeacon;\u201d he\nlooks after the places of meeting, takes up collections, and attends to\nother similar duties. Next comes the \u201cTeacher.\u201d He visits the Saints and\ntakes note of their standing, and reports the same: weakness of faith,\nor backwardness in paying tithing, is never overlooked by him. After\nhim is the \u201cPriest,\u201d and above him is the Elder whose office it is to\npreach, baptize, and lay on hands. All these belong to the order of\nthe Aaronic\u2014or the Levitical priesthood. \u201cBishops\u201d are simply Church\nofficers having local jurisdiction.\n\nThe lowest grade in the Melchisedec Priesthood is the \u201cElder.\u201d He\nadministers in all the ordinances of the Church. Above him there is\nno higher rank as respects the priesthood, but in respect to office\nthere are various gradations, as, for example, the \u201cHigh Priests,\u201d the\n\u201cSeventies,\u201d and \u201cBishops,\u201d who occupy positions of authority, although\nboth go on missions, and also the Apostles. The \u201cApostles\u201d were chosen in\nimitation of the \u201cTwelve\u201d appointed by Christ; and in the same way the\n\u201cSeventies,\u201d in imitation of the _seventy_ disciples sent forth to preach\nand work miracles. They claim rank next to the Twelve. The \u201cQuorum of the\nApostles\u201d is presided over by the eldest of their number; the \u201cQuorums of\nSeventies\u201d are each composed of seventy Elders with a \u201cPresident\u201d and six\n\u201cCounsellors.\u201d The number of \u201cquorums\u201d is unlimited; and over them all\ncollectively is another president and six counsellors.\n\nThe highest authority in the Church is the \u201cFirst Presidency;\u201d the three\nmembers of which at present are Brigham Young, George A. Smith, and\nDaniel H. Wells,\u2014who are said to represent on earth the three Persons of\nthe Blessed Trinity!\n\nAs, from \u201cPresident\u201d Young down to the most illiterate \u201cElder,\u201d every\none is supposed to be specially inspired, and to be immediately guided\nby the gift of the Holy Ghost, education is utterly unnecessary to the\nmembers of the Mormon priesthood; in fact, it has always been looked upon\nas an impediment to its possessor. _Obedience_ is considered the highest\nqualification, and it was the strict enforcement of obedience on the part\nof the ordinary people and the lower grades of the priesthood towards the\nhigher that alone could have made possible that state of affairs which\nexisted during the \u201cReformation.\u201d Hence also it is that Brigham Young and\nthe leaders are rightly held responsible for the deeds of violence and\nfanaticism which their followers may perpetrate; for it is well known\nthat _no_ Mormon, in a matter of grave importance, would dare to act upon\nhis own responsibility, and without he felt sure that what he did would\nmeet with the approbation of those in authority.\n\nThere is another class of Church officer which I had very nearly\nforgotten\u2014the Patriarchs. The chief of these is called \u201cThe Presiding\nPatriarch _over_ the Church;\u201d the rest are \u201cPatriarchs _in_ the Church.\u201d\nThe office of these dignitaries is to bless the people and to be paid\nfor their blessings. The price of good blessings is variable. Not long\nago, when money was scarce and payments were made in produce, two dollars\nwas considered reasonable; and if several were wanted for the same\nfamily, a reduction was made. Hyrum Smith, the original Prophet\u2019s eldest\nbrother, was the first Patriarch; and to him succeeded \u201cUncle John,\u201d\nas he was popularly called, the eldest brother of Brigham. The present\nPatriarch is the son of Hyrum; still a young man, who obtained his office\nby inheritance\u2014and this, I believe, is about the only office in the\nChurch which Brother Brigham has permitted the Smith family to inherit or\nenjoy.\n\nThe idea of reviving the old Jewish polity was always uppermost in\nthe minds of the Mormons. Hence they revived the Priesthood and\nHigh-priesthood in their various forms; a magnificent temple was built in\nNauvoo, just as another temple is now being erected at Salt Lake City;\nand so far did they go that it was even determined that the ancient\nsacrifices should eventually be restored.\n\nIt is alleged that in Nauvoo, among the Mormons, a secret body of men\nhad been chosen, who were enrolled, under the most frightful oaths, to\navenge every wrong which might be perpetrated against the Saints. This\nband was said to have originated with Sidney Rigdon and Dr. Sampson\nAvard, and, as I have somewhere else mentioned, Thomas B. Marsh and Hyde\nthe present chief of the Apostles both made affidavit that such was the\ncase, and that the band was sworn to commit the most shocking acts of\nvengeance,\u2014and surely Marsh and Hyde ought to know. Various names were\nchosen for this \u201cdeath society.\u201d First the members were called Daughters\nof Zion [_from_ Micah iv. 13]. But as it sounded rather ridiculous to\nspeak of bearded ruffians as \u201cdaughters,\u201d that name was abandoned, and\nthe title \u201cAvenging Angels\u201d substituted; and that, with some other names\nthen temporarily used, were subsequently dropped for the name \u201cDanites\u201d\n[_from_ Genesis xlix. 17], which has since been retained;\u2014not by the\nMormons, for they have ever denied the existence of any such band, but by\nthe Gentiles.\n\nIt matters very little what the name of such a society might be, so long\nas it existed at all; and that it does, and has, existed in _some_ form\ncannot reasonably be denied. There probably is not at the present time\nany formally enrolled society, but it is quite certain that for many\nyears past if \u201cThe Church\u201d had only dropped a hint that any man\u2019s blood\nought to be shed, that man would have had a very short tenure of his\nlife. Even Brigham himself said publicly:\n\n\u201cIf men come here and do not behave themselves, they will not only find\nthe Danites, whom they talk so much about, biting the horses\u2019 heels, but\nthe scoundrels will find something biting _their_ heels. In my plain\nremarks I simply call things by their own names.\u201d\n\nIt is beyond a doubt that, notwithstanding all the social changes and\nimprovements of late years, the secret police of Salt Lake City are in\nmatters of crime, as well as _in fact_, though not perhaps nominally,\nthe successors of the original \u201cdeath society;\u201d\u2014many of its members are\nknown to have committed grievous crimes and to have repeatedly dyed their\nhands in blood. The shocking deeds that every now and then are divulged\nto the world are all of their doing, and no resident of Salt Lake City,\nwhether Mormon or Gentile, although he might prudently decline to state\nhis opinions, would in his mind question the fact that it is fear of\nconsequences, and only because the Saints are \u201con their good behaviour\u201d\nin the sight of the Federal Government, that the hands of these wretches\nare withheld from a continuance of their old enormities.\n\nAs might be supposed, the establishment of a secret band of men\nprofessedly ready at a moment to steal, to shed blood, or commit any\ncrime at the command of their leaders, created great excitement in the\nwhole State of Missouri, and especially in the vicinity of the Mormon\nSettlements.\n\nLike the Ishmaelites of old, the hands of the Saints were against every\nman, and every man\u2019s hand was against them. They were taught that they\nwere \u201ca chosen nation, a royal priesthood, a peculiar people\u201d\u2014the \u201cSword\nof the Lord and of Gideon\u201d was to be theirs; they were to go forth\nconquering and to conquer; and the Gentiles were to be trodden down\nbeneath their feet.\n\nAs might be expected, trouble immediately arose; the people of Missouri\noutraged the Mormons, and the Mormons in return outraged them. Murders,\nthefts, and the most shameful atrocities were of daily occurrence, and\nthe history of those terrible doings would fill a good-sized volume.\nSuffice it to say, that the excitement continued and increased, reprisals\nbeing made on both sides; finally the mob was triumphant, and after\ncommitting many fearful excesses it was organized into a militia\u2014the\nleading men in authority declaring that the Mormons must either leave the\nState or else they must be extirpated by the sword.\n\nNotwithstanding all this, the Mormons, at all times an industrious\npeople, were in one sense successful and prosperous; the morality,\nhowever, of some of their leading men was to say the least very\nquestionable. It was openly argued that the silver and gold were the\nLord\u2019s, and so were the cattle on a thousand hills. The Scripture says\nthat God has given His people all things richly to enjoy. The Saints were\nthe people of God:\u2014He had given _them_ all the wealth and substance of\nthe earth, and therefore it was no sin for them to help themselves; they\nwere but taking their own. To overreach or defraud their enemies was\nfacetiously called by the Mormons \u201cmilking the Gentiles.\u201d\n\nTheir city called Nauvoo\u2014The Beautiful,\u2014a name given by the Prophet\nJoseph and supposed to be of celestial origin, was well laid out and well\nbuilt, a costly Temple was nearly complete, and the leaders, at least,\nbegan to show signs of wealth and prosperity. This however was but a\nlull before the storm. Writs upon various charges against Joseph and\nthe leading Elders had always been floating about, and the serving of\nsome of the later ones had only been prevented by technical difficulties\nor the personal fears of the Sheriff. To enter Nauvoo for the purpose\nof arresting the Prophet was like bearding the lion in his den; for by\nthis time a splendidly equipped and drilled militia regiments under the\nname of Nauvoo Legion had been organized, and Joseph had been elected\nLieutenant-General. The regiment consisted solely of well-tried Mormons\nwho were devotedly attached to their leader; besides which, the whole of\nthe population of the city was at his call at a moment\u2019s notice.\n\nInto the city of the Saints, as far as was possible to prevent it, no\nGentile was allowed to intrude. It was at risk of life and property that\nany one ventured. One oddly original mode of driving out the devoted\nstranger is worthy of mention\u2014it was called \u201c_whittling_ a man out of\nthe town!\u201d Opposite the victim\u2019s door a number of men and overgrown\nboys would take up their quarters, each armed with a stout stick of\nwood and a huge knife. No sooner did the Gentile appear than the whole\nhorde gathered in a circle round him. Not a word was uttered, but each\nman grasping firmly his stick in his left hand, pointed its other end\nto within a few inches of the victim\u2019s face, while with the knife in\nhis right hand he sliced a shaving out of the wood in such a way as to\nbring the point of the knife almost against the face of the unfortunate\nman. Wherever he turned they attended him, always preserving the\nstrictest silence, and never actually touching him. The intolerable\nsensation caused by the \u201cwhittling\u201d of this strange body-guard, who were\nin attendance day and night, and the unpleasantness of seeing half a\nscore of sharp knives flashing perpetually within an inch of his nose,\ngenerally subdued the strongest-minded Gentile;\u2014few could endure it for\nmore than a day or so at the utmost: they were glad to leave\u2014\u201c_Whittled\nout_ of the town!\u201d\n\nThe evil day, however, at last came. The Prophet, fearing arrest, fled,\nbut was persuaded to return and deliver himself up. The charge against\nhim was one for which reasonable bail could be taken; bail was offered,\naccepted, and the prisoners discharged. Before leaving court, however,\nthe Prophet and his brother Hyrum, the Patriarch, were arrested upon\na trumped-up charge of treason, a charge for which it was impossible\nthat bail should be taken; they were therefore committed to custody in\nCarthage jail, under solemn promise from Governor Ford of Illinois that\nthe State should be answerable for their personal protection. The same\nday, however, a mob of over one hundred men, assisted, it is said, by the\nmilitia who were left in charge, burst into the jail and assassinated the\nProphet and his brother.\n\nAs might be supposed, this outrage by no means weakened the Mormon cause;\ntheir Prophet was now a martyr, and his name became more powerful after\ndeath than it could possibly have been had he lived. It was, however,\nclearer than ever that nothing could now reconcile the people of Illinois\nto the Mormons, and the latter seriously began to think of leaving that\nState in a body as they had formerly left Missouri.\n\nThe terrible doings of those times I have no idea of relating just now;\nI simply allude to them in order that the reader may understand how,\nin the excitement produced in that border-warfare, it was possible for\nsuch strange events as afterwards transpired in Utah to originate. I may\nsimply add, that the Temple being completed, and the first \u201cEndowments\u201d\ngiven there, the people gathered up what little property they could\nrescue from the mob, and under the guidance of Brigham Young, and amidst\nprivations, sufferings, and outrages of the most painful character, left\nthe city which they had founded in Illinois, and set out for the Rocky\nMountains, where, beside the Great Salt Lake, they founded their modern\nZion.\n\nFree now from the violence of mobs and Gentile enmity, it might have been\nsupposed that the hatred which had so long been part of the Mormon faith\nwould have died a natural death. The contrary, however, was the case. The\nMexican war was then raging, and, _en route_ to the Rocky Mountains, the\nMormons had received a proposal from the Federal Government that they\nshould supply a regiment, upon highly advantageous conditions, to join\nthe United States troops which were then operating in California. This\nsuggestion was kindly made, for it was thought that the Mormon regiment\nthus raised would in reality be only marching their own way in going\nto California, and that the outfits, pay, arms, &c., which were to be\ntheirs, after the year for which they were enrolled had expired, would be\nof essential service to them. It was like paying men liberally for making\na journey for their own benefit.\n\nNotwithstanding all this, Brigham Young and the leaders represented the\ntransaction in quite another light, and the people were taught that an\nengagement, into which they had entered of their own free will, and from\nwhich they had derived substantial advantages, was an act of heartless\ncruelty and despotic tyranny on the part of the Government. This feeling\nwas fostered, until at length the Saints as a body regarded themselves\nas a wronged and outraged people, and considered every Gentile, in fact\nthe whole nation, as their natural enemies. This was perhaps all the more\nsingular, since, after the vast tract of country, of which Utah forms\na part, had, at the end of the war, been wrested from Mexico, Brigham\nYoung had been appointed by President Millard Fillmore the first Governor\nand Indian Agent of the territory; he was therefore in Federal pay, and\nbound, as long as he retained office, to support the Government, or at\nthe very least not to stir up disaffection.\n\nTrouble soon arose between Governor Young and the Mormons on one side and\nthe Judges and United States courts and officials on the other. Once an\narmed mob burst into the Supreme Court, and forced the Judge then sitting\nto adjourn; at another time a _bonfire_ was made of the books and papers\nof the District Courts; then a Judge on the bench was threatened with\npersonal outrage; and subsequently a _posse_ summoned by legal(!) process\n\u201cencamped\u201d for a whole fortnight over against another _posse_ summoned\nwithout legal process, the two bodies burning with bitter hatred and\nbreathing out threatenings and slaughter. Such a state of affairs could\nnot, of course, last long. On the one side the wildest statements were\npublicly made against the Government; threats which, uttered by a little\nband of pioneers against a mighty nation, were perfectly ridiculous,\nstirred up the hearts of the Saints. On the other hand it was pretty\ncertain that Federal troops would have to be sent out to Utah to preserve\nthe peace of the Territory. The Federal Government was nevertheless\ndefied, abused, and derided, and the people, thoroughly blinded by their\nfanaticism, did not for a moment doubt that, should Governor Young\n\u201cdeclare war,\u201d the United States troops would vanish before the \u201cArmies\u201d\nof the Saints like chaff upon the threshing-floor. So absurd does all\nthis appear that I should really hardly venture to repeat it were it\nnot that every one in Utah\u2014Mormon and Gentile\u2014knows that I am really\nunderstating facts rather than otherwise. Very soon came a crisis in\nMormon history, for which all the wild sayings and unlawful doings had\nbeen so long paving the way:\u2014\u201cTHE REFORMATION\u201d was destined to be the\ncrowning point of Saintly folly and Saintly sin.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXV.\n\nTHE \u201cREIGN OF TERROR\u201d IN UTAH:\u2014THE REFORMATION OF THE SAINTS.\n\n\nThe people were now thoroughly excited. Their religious antipathy, their\npolitical hatred\u2014two of the most powerful passions which move individuals\nor bodies of men\u2014had been appealed to, and both in public and private\nthey had been stirred up to a pitch of frenzy which it is hardly possible\nat the present time to comprehend.\n\nThere were whisperings now of a most fearful doctrine, calculated not\nonly to strike terror into the hearts of those whose faith was weakening,\nbut even to shock with a sense of horror those who only heard of it from\nafar\u2014I mean the doctrine of the BLOOD ATONEMENT.\n\nThe Saints had all along been taught to distinguish between murder and\nthe shedding of innocent blood\u2014the former being spoken of as a crime for\nwhich atonement might be made, but for the latter there was no repentance\non earth\u2014it was an unpardonable sin. They were also taught to distinguish\ncarefully between sins which might be forgiven, and sins for which pardon\nwas impossible. Now the difference between murder and shedding innocent\nblood is this:\u2014the latter is the crime of killing a Saint, which can\nnever be forgiven, but by the death of the transgressor; but the former\nis of quite a different character. To murder a Gentile may sometimes be\ninexpedient, or perhaps even to a certain extent wrong, but it is seldom\nif ever a crime, and never an unpardonable sin.\n\nA friend of mine was in a state of apostacy. The Bishop went to her to\nexpostulate, and told her that, if he were her husband, he would get rid\nof her and take away her children as well\u2014he would not on any account\nlive with her.\n\n\u201cPerhaps,\u201d she said, \u201cyou would not allow me to live at all?\u201d\n\n\u201cCertainly not,\u201d he replied. \u201cI would think about as much of killing\nyou or any other miserable Apostate as I would about killing a cat. If\nBrigham Young were to tell me to put you to death, I would do it with the\ngreatest of pleasure;\u2014and it would be for your good, too.\u201d\n\nThus, when the famous Revelation on Polygamy says that a man cannot be\npardoned for shedding innocent blood, it does not mean that he cannot be\npardoned for murdering a Gentile or an Apostate; for that, under some\ncircumstances, might even be meritorious; but that the murder of a Saint\nby one of the brethren cannot under _any_ circumstances be forgiven on\nearth, and that his only chance of forgiveness lies in his own blood\nbeing shed as an \u201catonement.\u201d\n\nCertain sins cannot be forgiven here on earth\u2014shedding innocent blood,\ndivulging the secrets of the Endowment House\u2014marital unfaithfulness on\nthe part of the wife\u2014Apostacy;\u2014these are unpardonable. All other crimes\nwhich Gentiles abhor may become even virtues, if done in the cause of\nthe Church. I do not, of course, mean to say that the mass of the Mormon\npeople act up to such atrocious doctrines; for although, when among\nthemselves, they would admit that the theory was correct, the better\ninstincts of their nature keep them from ever putting that theory into\npractice. But what I do mean to say is, that such doctrines have, over\nand over again, been distinctly taught in the plainest words in the\npublic hearing of thousands; that they _have_ been printed and reprinted\nby authority; that they have been practised, and the very highest of the\nMormon leaders have applauded; and that, even at the present moment,\nthese doctrines form part of the dogmas of the Church. It is this day a\nmatter of fact, and not a matter of question, that if any Mormon Apostate\nwere to commit any of the unpardonable sins which I have mentioned,\nand if he or she were to be assassinated by a private individual, all\nzealous Mormons\u2014all the leaders\u2014would maintain that not only was the deed\njustifiable but even meritorious!\n\nThis may seem bad enough, but it is not the worst. The doctrine of the\n\u201cBLOOD ATONEMENT\u201d is that the murder of an Apostate is _a deed of love_!\nIf a Saint sees another leave the Church, or if even he only believes\nthat his brother\u2019s faith is weakening and that he will apostatize before\nlong, he knows that the soul of his unbelieving brother will be lost if\nhe dies in such a state, and that only by his blood being shed is there\nany chance of forgiveness for him; it is therefore the kindest action\nthat he can perform toward him to shed his blood\u2014the doing so is a deed\nof truest love. The nearer, the dearer, the more tenderly loved the\nsinner is, the greater the affection shown by the shedder of blood\u2014the\naction is no longer murder or the shedding of innocent blood, for the\ntaint of apostacy takes away its innocence\u2014it is making atonement, not a\ncrime; it is an act of mercy, therefore meritorious.\n\nThese were the terrible teachings which the \u201cReformation\u201d brought to\nlight:\u2014they had been whispered before among the elect, and had been\nacted upon by the \u201cAvenging Angels,\u201d but before this they had never been\npublicly and intelligibly explained.\n\nJedediah M. Grant, an enthusiast of the wildest kind; a man without\neducation or mental discipline of any description; one of the First\nPresidency and high in authority among the Saints, had occasion to attend\na meeting which was held at Kaysville, a place about twenty-five miles\ndistant from Salt Lake City, and he invited some of the Elders to meet\nhim there to take part in the proceedings. To one of these \u201cJeddy,\u201d as\nhe was familiarly called, obligingly lent a mule; he himself did not\naccompany the party, but went on before. These elders were pretty well\nmounted, and one of them, being a good horseman, made the rest keep up\nwith him. In consequence of this, when they arrived at Kaysville, the\nbeasts were heated and tired. The Apostle \u201cJeddy\u201d watched them but said\nnothing.\n\nUp to a certain point, the meeting passed off pleasantly enough; the\nElders present were \u201cgood at testimony\u201d and strong in exhorting the\nhearers to faithfulness. Jeddy was the last speaker. He began in his\nusual way, but presently warmed up until he became quite excited, and\nthen proceeded to accuse every one present of all sorts of wrong-doing.\nThe Elders who had preceded him came in for their full share; he\ndenounced them for their inconsistency and hypocrisy, and bitterly\nupbraided them for running his mule and their own beasts in such a\nmanner. The Bishop of the place and his counsellors he accused of\ninactivity and carelessness; and he called loudly upon every one present\nto repent and do their first works; threatening them with the speedy\njudgments of Heaven.\n\nAll this was well enough if it had stopped there, for it might have\nbeen taken for just what it was\u2014an ebullition of temper on the part of\n\u201cJeddy,\u201d who was naturally vexed that his mule had been over-heated.\nBut, like many other manias and epidemics, this Mormon movement began\nwith a most insignificant trifle, and the spirit of fiery denunciation\nbecame perfectly contagious. Another meeting was held in the course\nof a few weeks, and then the mutual accusations of those who were\npresent became, if possible, more bitter than before; the \u201cSaints\u201d were\ndenounced as the vilest of sinners, and they were all commanded to be\nre-baptized. Accordingly, after the meeting, although it was night and\nthe weather was cold, a considerable number were immersed by the Elders,\nand Jeddy himself was so enthusiastically engaged in the performance,\nand he remained in the water so long that he got a thorough chill, and\ncontracted the disease of which he died.\n\nSunday after Sunday similar scenes were repeated in the Tabernacle,\nuntil, had it not been painful, the whole affair would have been\nludicrous in the extreme. Every one had strayed from the path of duty,\nand the fact was announced in the strongest terms. People were called\nupon by name to publicly confess their sins, and many were then and there\npointed out and accused of crimes of which they were entirely guiltless,\nbut which they dared not deny. In the midst of all this, the duty of\nimplicit obedience to the Priesthood and the payment of tithes was loudly\ninsisted upon.\n\nThe Missionaries were sent out all over the territory, armed with the\nfull authority of the Priesthood, and also a catechism which, on account\nof its obscene character, has since been bought up so successfully by\nBrigham that it is doubtful if there is a copy in existence. The Mormons\nhave a curious way of appointing Missionaries. If a man is weak in the\nfaith\u2014a depraved, bad man\u2014or if a youth exhibits a disposition to sow his\nwild oats a little too luxuriantly, he is sent on his travels to preach\nthe Gospel; nothing strengthens a man\u2019s faith, it is thought, more than\nhaving to defend it from the opposition of unbelievers, and the enforced\ngood example which the Missionary is obliged to set will, it is said,\nproduce a salutary effect upon the exuberance of youth or the depravity\nof more mature years. In the present instance many of the Missionaries\nthus sent forth were known to be as immoral as they were grossly ignorant.\n\nThere was one terrible meeting at which Brigham himself was put to the\nblush. Men of note were there; no one was present who did not belong to\nthe Priesthood. \u201cJeddy\u201d held forth, and Heber and Brigham were strong\nupon the occasion. In the midst of the proceedings, Brother Brigham,\nfull of confidence, in the plainest words called upon all who could not\nplead guiltless of certain crimes to stand up. Three-fourths of those\npresent immediately arose. Utterly shocked, the Prophet entered into\nexplanations; but self-convicted these three-fourths of his hearers stood\nconscientiously firm. Even Brigham saw the necessity of taking some\nstringent measures. The Saints were told that if they were re-baptized\ntheir sins would be washed away, and they could then say they were\nnot guilty of the crimes suggested in the catechism. Subsequently the\ncatechism itself was, as I said, bought up and burnt.\n\nThe burden of every sermon was unquestioning obedience, repentance,\npayment of tithing, and above all the taking of more wives. The\nMissionaries, without the slightest ceremony, would visit the houses of\nrespectable Saints, examine them out of the abominable catechism, and\nquestion husbands and wives in the presence of their children about even\ntheir very thoughts, in a manner, and upon subjects, which would amply\nhave justified their being hung up to the nearest tree; Lynch law was in\nfact too good for such atrocities. Wicked ideas, the utterance of which\nwould have called forth a blush, even if heard from the lips of a drunken\nrowdy in a pot-house, were suggested and explained to young children;\nwhile it would have been literally at the risk of life for their parents\nto have expostulated; to do so would have shown want of faith, and want\nof faith would have justified some fanatical scoundrel in using his knife\nor his pistol for the loving purpose of cutting off his brother\u2019s soul\nfrom earth in order to save it in heaven!\n\nMeanwhile Jedediah did not for a moment cease his exhortations; the work\nmust be done thoroughly: the Blood-Atonement must not be forgotten. On\none occasion, in the Tabernacle, this crazy fanatic said:\u2014\n\n\u201cI would advise some of you men here to go to President Young, and\nconfess your sins, and ask him to take you outside the city and have your\nblood shed to atone for your sins.\u201d\n\n...\n\n\u201cThere are men and women that I would advise to go to the President\nimmediately, and ask him to appoint a committee to attend to their case;\nand then let a place be selected, and let that committee shed their\nblood....\n\n\u201cI would ask how many covenant-breakers there are in this city and in\nthis kingdom? I believe that there are a great many; and if they are\ncovenant-breakers, we need a place designated where we can shed their\nblood.\u201d\n\n...\n\n\u201cWe have been trying long enough with this people, and I go in for\nletting the sword of the Almighty be unsheathed, not only in word but _in\ndeed_.\u201d\n\nLest he should be mistaken, he said:\u2014\n\n\u201cWhat ought this meek people who keep the commandments of God do unto\nthem? \u2018Why,\u2019 says one, \u2018they ought to pray _the Lord_ to kill them,\u2019 I\nwant to know if you would wish the Lord to come down and do all your\ndirty work?.... When a man prays for a thing, he ought to be willing to\nperform it himself.... Putting to death the transgressors would exhibit\nthe law of God, _no matter by whom it was done_.\u201d\n\nHeber C. Kimball, the \u201cmodel Saint,\u201d after a speech to the same effect,\nin which, as usual, he made use of the most disgusting language, added:\u2014\n\n\u201cJoseph Smith was God to the inhabitants of the earth when he was among\nus, and Brigham is God now!\u201d\n\nBut more shocking than any other was the language of Brigham Young\nhimself. On the 21st of September, 1856, in a discourse delivered in the\nBowery, Great Salt Lake City, and afterwards reprinted by authority in\nthe _Journals of Discourses_, vol. iv., pp. 53-4, he said:\u2014\n\n\u201cThe time is coming when justice will be laid to the line and\nrighteousness to the plummet; when we shall take the old broadsword and\nask, \u2018Are you for God?\u2019 and if you are not heartily on the Lord\u2019s side,\n_you will be hewn down_!\u201d\n\n...\n\n\u201cThere are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness\nin this world or in that which is to come; and if they had their eyes\nopened to see their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to\nhave their blood spilt upon the ground, that the smoke thereof might\nascend to Heaven as an offering for their sins, and the smoking incense\nwould atone for their sins; whereas, if such is not the case, they will\nstick to them and remain with them in the spirit world.\n\n\u201cI know, when you hear my brethren telling about cutting people off from\nthe earth, that you consider it is strong doctrine; but it is to save\nthem, not to destroy them....\n\n\u201cI do know that there are sins committed of such a nature that, if the\npeople did understand the doctrine of salvation, they would tremble\nbecause of their situation. And, furthermore, I know that there are\ntransgressors who, if they knew themselves, and the only condition upon\nwhich they can obtain forgiveness, would beg of their brethren to shed\ntheir blood, that the smoke thereof might ascend to God as an offering to\nappease the wrath that is kindled against them, and that the law might\nhave its course. I will say, further, I have had men come to me and offer\ntheir lives to atone for their sins.\n\n\u201cIt is true that the blood of the Son of God was shed for sins through\nthe fall and those committed by men, yet men can commit sins which it can\nnever remit. As it was in ancient days, so it is in our day; and though\nthe principles are taught publicly from this stand, still the people do\nnot understand them; yet the law is precisely the same. There are sins\nthat can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as in ancient days;\nand there are sins that the blood of a lamb, of a calf, or of turtle\ndoves cannot remit, but _they must be atoned for by the blood of the\nman_.\u201d\n\nOne would have supposed that even Brigham had now reached the culminating\npoint of horror and blasphemy. But no;\u2014a month or so later he even\nsurpassed himself when in a Tabernacle sermon he said:\u2014\n\n\u201cWhen will we love our neighbours as ourselves? In the first place, Jesus\nsaid that no man hateth his own flesh. It is admitted by all that every\nperson loves himself. Now if we do rightly love ourselves, we want to be\nsaved, and continue to exist; we want to go into the kingdom where we can\nenjoy eternity, and see no more sorrow nor death. This is the desire of\nevery person who believes in God. Now take a person in this congregation\nwho has knowledge with regard to being saved in the kingdom of our God\nand our Father, and being exalted, one who knows and understands the\nprinciples of eternal life, and sees the beauties and excellency of the\neternities before him compared with the vain and foolish things of the\nworld, and suppose that he is overtaken in a gross fault, that he had\ncommitted a sin that he knows will deprive him of that exaltation which\nhe desires, and that he cannot attain to it without the shedding of his\nblood, and also knows that by having his blood shed he will atone for\nthat sin and be saved and exalted with the gods, is there a man or a\nwoman in this house but would say, \u2018Shed my blood that I might be saved\nand exalted with the gods?\u2019\n\n\u201cAll mankind love themselves: and let those principles but be known by\nan individual, and _he would_ be glad to have his blood shed. This would\nbe loving ourselves even unto an eternal exaltation. Will you love your\nbrothers or sisters likewise when they have a sin that cannot be atoned\nfor without the shedding of their blood? Will you love that man or woman\nwell enough to shed their blood? _That is what Jesus Christ meant._ He\nnever told a man or woman to love their enemies in their wickedness,\nnever. He never meant any such thing; His language is left as it is for\nthose to read who have the spirit to discern between truth and error; it\nwas so left for those who can discern the things of God. Jesus Christ\nnever meant that we should love a wicked man in his wickedness.\n\n\u201c_I could refer you to plenty of instances where men have been\nrighteously slain in order to atone for their sins._ I have seen scores\nand hundreds of people for whom there would have been a chance (in the\nlast resurrection there will be) if their lives had been taken and their\nblood spilled on the ground as a smoking incense to the Almighty, but\nwho are now angels to the devil, until our elder brother, Jesus Christ,\nraises them up and conquers death, hell, and the grave.\n\n\u201cI have known a great many men who have left this church, for whom there\nis no chance whatever for exaltion, but if their blood had been spilled\nit would have been better for them.\n\n\u201cThe wickedness and ignorance of the nations forbid this principle being\nin full force, but the time will come when the law of God will be in full\nforce. This is loving our neighbour as ourselves; if he needs help, _help\nhim_; if he wants salvation, and it is necessary to spill his blood on\nthe earth in order that he may be saved, _spill_ it.\n\n\u201cAny of you who understand the principles of eternity, if you have sinned\na sin requiring the shedding of blood, except the sin unto death, should\nnot be satisfied or rest until your blood should be spilled, that you\nmight gain that salvation you desire. That is the way to love mankind....\nLight and darkness cannot dwell together, and so it is with the kingdom\nof God.\n\n\u201cNow, brethren and sisters, will you live your religion? How many\nhundreds of times have I asked that question! Will the Latter-Day Saints\nlive their religion?\u201d\n\nAnd so, according to Brigham Young, their Prophet, this was the religion\nof the Saints! And the people acted up to the \u201creligion\u201d thus taught: and\nthe story is so terrible that one dare not even whisper all its details.\n\nIt is no secret that all this was understood _literally_. The wife of one\nElder, when he was absent on a mission, acted unfaithfully towards him.\nHer husband took counsel of the authorities, and was reminded that the\nshedding of her blood alone could save her. He returned and told her, but\nshe asked for time, which was readily granted. One day, in a moment of\naffection, when she was seated on his knee, he reminded her of her doom,\nand suggested that now when their hearts were full of love was a suitable\ntime for carrying it into execution. She acquiesced, and _out of love_ he\ncut her throat from ear to ear.\n\nIn many instances the outrages committed against persons who were known\nto be innocent were so revolting that no woman\u2014nay, even no right-minded\nman\u2014would venture to more than just allude to them. _A few_, however, and\nonly a few, and they _by no means the worst_, of the milder cases I will\njust mention.\n\nThere was the murder of the Aikin party\u2014six persons\u2014who were killed\non their way to California. The same year a man name Yates was killed\nunder atrocious circumstances; and Franklin McNeil who had sued Brigham\nfor false imprisonment and who was killed at his hotel door. There was\nSergeant Pike, and there was Arnold and Drown. There was Price and\nWilliam Bryan at Fairfield; there was Almon Babbitt, and Brassfield,\nand Dr. Robinson; there was also James Cowdy and his wife and child,\nand Margetts and his wife; and many another, too\u2014to say nothing of that\nfrightful murder at the Mountain Meadows.\n\nBesides these there is good reason to think that Lieutenant Gunnison and\nhis party were also victims, although it was said that they were shot by\n\u201cIndians.\u201d The Potter and Parrish murders were notorious; Forbes, and\nJones and his mother, might be added to the same list; the dumb boy,\nAndrew Bernard; a woman killed by her own husband; Morris the rival\nProphet, and Banks, and four women who belonged to their party; Isaac\nPotter, and Charles Wilson, and John Walker. These are but a few. The\ndeath list is too long for me to venture to give it.\n\nOne instance I can give from my own personal knowledge. A sister, who\noccasionally does a little work at my house, on one occasion said to\nme: \u201cMrs. Stenhouse, when first I came to this country I lived in the\nsouthern portion of Utah. One day I saw a woman running across the fields\ntowards our house, pale and trembling. When she came in she looked round\nher as if she were frightened, and she asked if any one besides our own\nfamily were present. On being assured that there was no one present whom\nshe might fear, she said:\u2014\u2018Two men came to our house late last night\nand asked to see my husband, who had already retired. He was in bed,\nbut they insisted that he must get up, as they had a message from \u201cthe\nauthorities\u201d for him. When they saw him they requested him to go with\nthem to attend, they said, to some Church business. I became very much\nalarmed, for my poor husband had been known to speak rather freely of\nlate of some of the measures of the Church, but he tried to reassure me,\nand finally left the house with the two men. In about an hour after they\ncame back, bearing between them his lifeless body. They laid him upon the\nbed, and then one of them pulled aside the curtain which constituted our\nonly cupboard, and took therefrom a bake-kettle and stood it beside the\nbed, in order to catch the blood that was flowing from a fearful wound\nin his throat. They then left the house, telling me to make as little\nnoise about it as possible, or they might serve me in the same way. The\nmen were masked, and I cannot tell who they are, but I spent a fearful\nnight with my poor dead husband.\u2019\u201d This sister added: \u201cSister Stenhouse,\nin those more fearful times we dared not speak to each other about such\nthings for fear of spies.\u201d\n\nThese were all well-known and notorious instances. I say nothing of\nthose of whose fate nothing\u2014not even a whisper\u2014was ever heard; and I say\nnothing of the frightful \u201ccuttings off\u201d _before_ the Reformation and in\nrecent years.\n\nGentile men and women were _killed_, for hatred; and _that_ \u201ckilling\u201d was\nno murder, for theirs was not innocent blood. Apostates, and Saints of\ndoubtful faith, and those who were obnoxious, _had their blood shed_\u2014all\n_for love_\u2014and that \u201ccutting off\u201d was also no murder, because to secure\ntheir salvation by cutting their throats was an act of mercy. Can it be\npossible that men should thus act and say\u2014and _believe_\u2014that Jesus, the\ngentle and merciful Saviour, commanded it when He said: \u201cThou shalt love\nthy neighbour as thyself\u201d?\n\nAll through this Reign of Terror, marrying and giving in marriage was\nthe order of the day. It mattered not if a man was seventy years of age,\naccording to Brother Brigham he was still a boy\u2014\u201cthe brethren are all\nboys until they are a hundred years old\u201d\u2014and some young girl of sixteen,\nfifteen, or even younger would be \u201ccounselled\u201d\u2014that is, _commanded_\u2014to\nmarry him. She might even have a sister no older than herself, and then\nas likely as not he would take the two to wife, and very probably both\non the same day. The girls were told that to marry a young man was not\na safe thing, for young men were not tried\u2014it was better to marry a\nwell-tested patriarch, and then their chances of \u201cexaltation\u201d in the\nkingdom of heaven were sure and certain. In this way the life-long\nhappiness of many a girl\u2014little more than a child\u2014was blighted for ever.\nAt the time of which I speak, every unmarried woman, or girl who could\nby the utmost stretch of possibility be thought old enough to marry, was\nforced to find a husband, or a husband was immediately found for her,\nand without any regard to her wishes was forced upon her. Young men,\nand even boys, were forced, not only into marriage, but even polygamy,\nand none dared resist. The marrying mania, in fact, was universal and\nirresistible\u2014everyone _must_ marry or be given in marriage. So evidently\nwas this the case that women in jest said that, if one were to hang a\npetticoat upon a fence-pole, half a dozen men would flock at once to\nmarry it! Absurd as this may seem, it was not very far from the truth.\nYoung men and maidens, old men and children, widows, virgins, and\nyouths\u2014in fact, every one, whether married or unmarried, it mattered not,\nwas \u201ccounselled\u201d\u2014commanded\u2014to marry.\n\nThere is above fanaticism a stronger law which, despite every effort of\nthe deluded victim, _will_ occasionally make itself heard\u2014the voice of\nNature. Even during that strange time in which every Saint seemed to\nhave gone stark crazy mad, the frightful anomaly of men of fifty, sixty,\nand even seventy, marrying mere children\u2014girls of fourteen, and even\nthirteen\u2014forced itself upon the attention of some of the leaders. The\nquestion arose\u2014an odd question to Gentile ears\u2014\u201cAt what age is a girl\nold enough to marry?\u201d Considerable discussion ensued, and even in the\nTabernacle the subject was taken up. The voice of authority, however,\neventually answered the matter, but not in the way that any ordinary\ncivilized person would expect.\n\nIn those times, unmarried girls were very scarce\u2014in the settlements it\nwas difficult to find any at all. Not infrequently it happened that a\nbrother was \u201ccounselled\u201d to marry, but could not obey, as there was no\nunmarried woman in the place where he lived. In that case he generally\npaid a visit to Salt Lake City. But business at the Endowment House\nnevertheless was pretty lively; in fact, so much so that it was deemed\nnecessary to set apart certain days for the various Settlements. Once,\nwhen the \u201cProvo day\u201d was fast approaching, two old brethren from that\ntown who had been counselled to enlarge their families, but who had been\nunsuccessful in finding partners, began to despair of being able to obey\n\u201cthe word of the Lord!\u201d The day before that appointed for the Endowments\nand Celestial Marriage arrived, and they were as far from success as\never. Being neighbours, the two old gentlemen met and mingled their\ngriefs, and considered what might be done. It then occurred to them that\nthere was a certain brother who had two daughters, respectively _twelve_\nand _fourteen_ years of age, and they resolved to call upon him about\nthese children. As might be supposed, the father at first refused them,\ngiving as a reason that the girls were too young. The old men explained\nthat if they could not marry the children it was impossible for them to\n\u201cobey counsel,\u201d and the father then agreed. The next morning the marriage\nceremony was performed in the Endowment House. One of these wretches was\nsixty years of age, and the other a few years younger. The father of\nthe children was about forty. I am really afraid that the reader will\nthink that I exaggerate or misrepresent facts. I wish it were so, for\nthe case is so outrageously atrocious; but I am sorry to say that scores\nand hundreds of instances similar to this, which occurred during the\nReformation, might be given.\n\nThere are before me as I write, letters, papers, documents of various\nsorts relative to marriage and the matrimonial affairs of the Saints, at\nthe time of which I speak, that I wish the reader could peep at. I would\nnot like him to read them\u2014in fact, I dared not read them all myself, for\nsome of them are so shameful that the mere knowledge of having read them\nthrough would make any right-minded person blush. Taking more wives was\nthe order of the day\u2014_how_, was of little matter.\n\nThe work of \u201cReformation\u201d was in full progress; the people were excited\nto frenzy; the Federal troops were expected; men were marrying and\nmaidens were given in marriage; every one in Utah was looking forward to\nthe time when the Prophecies of Joseph, the Seer, should be fulfilled,\nand the Son of Man should come:\u2014and then, when one would have supposed\nthat every man would have wished that his hands should be pure, was\nperpetrated a deed which is unparalleled in modern civilized times\u2014a deed\nat which angels and men have stood aghast with horror.\n\n[Illustration: BISHOP JOHN D. LEE, Mormon Commander in the Mountain\nMeadow Massacre.]\n\n[Illustration: JOHN TAYLOR, Acting President of the Mormon Church.\n\n_Born in Westmoreland, England, in 1803._]\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXVI.\n\nTHE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE:\u2014\u201cI WILL REPAY, SAITH THE LORD.\u201d\n\n\nI feel myself utterly incompetent to tell the story of the Mountain\nMeadows Massacre\u2014it is so shocking, so fiend-like. And yet it must be\ntold.\n\nWhile the work of \u201cReformation\u201d was going on, and when the United States\ntroops were constantly expected in the Valley of the Great Salt Lake, a\nlarge train of emigrants passed through Utah on its way to California.\nThe train consisted of one hundred and twenty or one hundred and thirty\npersons, and they came chiefly from Arkansas. They were people from the\ncountry districts, sober, hard-working, plain folks, but well-to-do, and,\ntaken all in all, about as respectable a band of emigrants as ever passed\nthrough Salt Lake City.\n\nNothing worthy of any particular note occurred to them until they reached\nthe Valley\u2014that was the point from which they started towards death.\n\nMy old friend Eli B. Kelsey travelled with them from Fort Bridger to\nSalt Lake City, and he spoke of them in the highest terms. If I remember\nrightly he said that the train was divided into two parts\u2014the first a\nrough-and-ready set of men\u2014regular frontier pioneers; the other a picked\ncommunity, the members of which were all more or less connected by family\nties. They travelled along in the most orderly fashion, without hurry\nor confusion. On Sunday they rested, and one of their number who had\nbeen a Methodist preacher conducted divine service. All went well until\nthey reached Salt Lake City, where they expected to be able to refit\nand replenish their stock of provisions; but it was there that they\nfirst discovered that feeling of enmity which finally resulted in their\ndestruction.\n\nNow it so happened that the minds of the Saints in Salt Lake City were\nat that time strongly prejudiced against the people of Arkansas, and\nfor a most unsaintly reason. The Apostle Parley P. Pratt was one of the\nearliest converts to Mormonism, and who so ably defended his adopted\ncreed with his pen and from the platform, had not very long before been\nsojourning in Arkansas, and had there run away with another man\u2019s wife.\nThis was only a trifle for an \u201cApostle\u201d to do, and the husband\u2014Mr.\nMcLean\u2014might have known it. But he was a most inconsiderate man, and\nwas actually offended with the amorous Apostle for what he had done. He\npursued him and killed him, for in those rough parts it was considered\nthat the Apostle did wrong in marrying the man\u2019s wife. Nobody, however,\ntook any notice of the matter or brought the murderer to trial. The\nMormon people, of course, took the side of the Apostle Parley P. Pratt.\nSensitive themselves to the highest degree concerning their wives and\ndaughters, they considered McLean a sinner for doing just exactly what\nany Saint would have certainly done. Their opinion, however, would\nhave been a matter of consequence only to themselves, had not such\nfatal consequences resulted from it. Reasoning without reason, they\nargued that McLean was the enemy of every Mormon, and every Mormon was\nthe enemy of McLean; McLean was protected in Arkansas\u2014therefore every\nman from Arkansas was an enemy of the Mormons;\u2014an enemy ought to be\ncut off\u2014therefore it was the duty of every Mormon to \u201ccut off\u201d\u2014if he\ncould\u2014every Arkansas man.\n\nThis appears to have been the tone of thought which actuated the minds of\nthe leaders of the people at the time when this emigrant train arrived in\nthe City.\n\nWeary and footsore they encamped by the Jordan River, trusting there\nto recruit themselves and their teams, and to replenish their stock of\nprovisions. The harvest in Utah that year had been abundant, and there\nwas nothing to hinder them from obtaining a speedy and full supply.\nBrigham Young was then Governor of Utah Territory, Commander-in-Chief of\nthe Militia, and Indian Agent as well: he was therefore responsible for\nall that took place within his jurisdiction. It was his duty to protect\nall law-abiding persons who either resided in or travelled through the\ncountry. The emigrants, so far from being protected, were ordered to\nbreak up their camp and move on; and it is said that written instructions\nwere sent on before them, directing the people in the settlements through\nwhich they would have to pass to have no dealings with them. This,\nconsidering their need of provisions, was much the same as condemning\nthem to certain death.\n\nCompelled to travel on, they pursued their journey slowly towards Los\nAngeles. At American Fork they wished to trade off some of their worn-out\nstock and to purchase fresh\u2014they also desired to obtain provisions. There\nwas abundance of everything from the farm and from the field, for God had\nvery greatly blessed the land that year; but they could obtain nothing.\nThey passed on, and went through Battle Creek, Provo, Springville,\nSpanish Fork, Payson, Salt Creek, and Fillmore, and their reception was\nstill the same,\u2014the word of the Mormon Pontiff had gone forth, and no man\ndared to hold communion or to trade with them. Now and then, some Mormon,\nweak in the faith or braver or more fond of money than his fellows,\nwould steal into the camp, in the darkness of the night, bearing with\nhim just what he was able to carry; but beyond this they could procure\nnothing. Their only hope now lay in the chance of holding out until they\ncould push through to some Gentile settlement where the word of the\npriestly Governor of Utah was not law. Through fifteen different Mormon\nsettlements did they pass, without being able to purchase a morsel of\nbread. With empty waggons and on short allowance, they pushed on until\nthey reached Corn Creek, where, for the first time in saintly Utah, they\nmet a friendly greeting _from the Indians_, and purchased from them\nthirty bushels of corn, of which they stood very greatly in need.\n\nAt Beaver they were again repulsed, and at Parowan they were not\npermitted to enter the town\u2014they were forced to leave the public highway\nand pass round the west side of the fort wall. They encamped by the\nstream, and tried as before to obtain food and fresh cattle, but again to\nno purpose. The reason why they were refused admission to the town was\nprobably because the militia was there assembled under Colonel Wm. H.\nDame\u2014which militia afterwards assisted in their destruction, for which\npreparations were even now being made.\n\nThey made their way to Cedar City, the most populous of all the towns\nof Southern Utah. Here they were allowed to purchase fifty bushels\nof tithing wheat, and to have it ground at the mill of that infamous\nscoundrel John D. Lee, upon whose memory will rest the eternal curses of\nall who have ever heard his name. It was, however, no act of mercy, the\nsupplying of this corn. The sellers of it knew well enough even then that\nit would return to them again in the course of a few days. After all,\nthey had but forty days\u2019 rations to carry them on to San Bernardino, in\nCalifornia\u2014a journey of about seventy days. Scanty kindness\u2014miserable\ngenerosity!\u2014fifty bushels of corn for a seventy days\u2019 journey, for men,\nwomen, and young children, and at least one little one to be born on the\nroad.\n\nThey remained in Cedar City only one day, and so jaded were their teams\nthat it took them three days to travel thence to Iron Creek, a distance\nof twenty miles; and two days were occupied in journeying fifteen\nmiles\u2014the distance between Iron Creek and the Meadows.\n\nThe morning after they left Iron Creek, the Mormon militia followed them\nin pursuit, intending, it is supposed, to assault them at Clara Crossing.\nThat this was no private outburst, and that, on the contrary, it was\ndone by authority, is evident from sworn testimony to the effect that\nthe assembling of those troops was the result of \u201c_a regular military\ncall from the superior officers to the subordinate officers and privates\nof the regiments.... Said regiment was duly ordered to muster, armed\nand equipped as the law directs, and prepared for field operations._\u201d\nA regular military council was held at Parowan, at which were present\nPresident Isaac C. Haight, the Mormon High Priest of Southern Utah,\nColonel Dame, Major John D. Lee, and the Apostle George A. Smith.\n\nNo military council, whether of the militia or the ordinary troops of\nthe line, would dare to determine upon such an important matter as the\ncutting off of an emigrant train of one hundred and thirty persons\nwithout receiving permission from superior authority. Brigham Young was\nin this case the superior authority\u2014he was the Commander-in-Chief of the\nMilitia:\u2014the inference is obvious. I do not, of course, say that he gave\nthe order for this accursed deed, but that it was his business to bring\nthe criminals to justice no one can doubt or deny.\n\nThe regiment, which started from Cedar City under the command of Major\nJohn D. Lee, the sub-agent for Indian affairs in Southern Utah, was\naccompanied by baggage-waggons and the other paraphernalia of war\nexcepting only heavy artillery, which in this case would have been\nuseless. But, at the same time, a large body of the Piede Indians had\nbeen invited to accompany them.\n\nAn order came from head-quarters to cut off the entire company except the\nlittle children. The emigrants were utterly unprepared, and the first\nonslaught found them defenceless. Accustomed, however, to border warfare,\nthey immediately corralled their waggons and prepared for a siege\u2014their\ngreat misfortune was that they had not any water\u2014Major John D. Lee,\nfinding the emigrants resolute, sent to Cedar City and Washington City\nfor reinforcements, which duly arrived.\n\nThe next morning, Major John D. Lee assembled his troops, including\nthe auxiliaries which he had summoned, about half a mile from the\nentrenchment of the fated emigrants, and then and there informed them,\nwith all the coolness which such an infamous scoundrel alone could\nmuster, that the whole company was to be killed, and only the little\nchildren who were too young to remember anything were to be spared.\n\nThe unfortunate emigrants did not know who their foes were. They saw\nIndians, or men who were so coloured that they looked like Indians,\nand they saw others who were more than strangers to them, but they had\nno clue to the cause of their detention. To them all was mystery. That\nIndians should attack them was quite within the bounds of probability,\nalthough there was at that time no cause for such an outrage; but that\nsuch an attack should be persistent, and should be carried on under\nthe peculiar circumstances in question, was, to say the least, highly\nimprobable.\n\nWho could rightly tell a story so fearful as this? The emigrant\ntrain\u2014men, women, and children fainting and famishing for want of bread\nand meat. In their pockets was money wherewith the necessaries of life\nmight have been bought, and the generous hand of the Almighty had that\nyear been open so wide, and had scattered those necessaries so liberally,\nthat nothing but the wickedness of man towards his fellow could have\ncreated a dearth. But so it was that darkness and the fear of death\u2014a\nfearful death even at the door\u2014was all those poor emigrants had standing\nbefore their eyes. What right had the Mormon militia to be pursuing, to\nbe hanging about the skirts of any body of emigrants? Their very presence\nwas in itself unauthorized\u2014criminal. The emigrants supposed that they\nwere surrounded by Indians, and expected the cruellest treatment in case\nof resistance not only death, but the outrage and shocking atrocities\nof savages. They did not know that the red men who threatened their\nlives and the lives of their helpless wives and infants were brought\ntogether at that spot for that same purpose by the counsel of Mormon\nauthorities. They did not know that so many of the appearing red-skins\nwere only painted devils, mocks of humanity, wretches who under the\nmask of a red-skin\u2019s colour were eager to perpetrate the foulest of\noffences\u2014scoundrels a thousand times damned in the opinion of men, and by\nthe decree of God.\n\nDay after day went by, and the poor creatures began to despair\u2014who\ncan wonder? The brave men cared little for their own lives; but there\nwas something fearful in the thought that their darling ones would be\nscalped, and torn in pieces, and brutally outraged! Who can wonder that\nthey resolved to sell life as dearly as they possibly could? They might\nat least die in defence of those they loved.\n\nSo day followed day. The agony of the unhappy men and women who were thus\nbesieged, and were in daily, hourly peril of the most frightful of all\ndeaths, can be imagined\u2014not told. Meanwhile, what were those atrocious\nscoundrels doing who were lying in wait for their blood? Some of them\nwere tricked out as Indians; some were in their own proper dresses; and,\nmoreover, real Utes were there. The unhappy victims could not possibly\nescape\u2014there was time for the murderers to do their work leisurely.\nBetween chance shots, which were intended to, and did, carry death with\nthem, they amused themselves with \u201cpitching horse-shoe quoits:\u201d\u2014such\nheartlessness is almost beyond conception.\n\nIn terrible need of water, they thought that even the Indians, who they\nsupposed were their assailants, might possibly respect a token of truce;\nso they dressed two little girls in white and sent them down to the well.\nBut the fiends\u2014the Mormon militia\u2014shot them down. In the day of doom, the\nblood of those babes will testify more heavily against Major John D. Lee,\nand Isaac C. Haight, and Colonel Dame, and George A. Smith, and the other\nwretch who plotted and contrived that fearful iniquity, than any of the\nbase and cowardly crimes which have for years and years blackened their\ncontemptible and miserable souls.\n\nThey could not possibly advance. Their corn would not last long. They\nwere famishing for water. How long they could hold out was evidently\nonly a matter of time. Had the train consisted only of men, they might\ncertainly, if with loss, have cut their way through their besiegers and\nescaped; but with wives and children, and others bound to them by the\ntenderest ties, such a thing was impossible. They looked and waited.\nSavage Indians they supposed were their only enemies. Coldly, strangely\nas they had been treated at the Mormon settlements, they never for a\nmoment supposed that white men could be in league against them or could\nmeditate their destruction.\n\nUp in the meadows\u2014in the distance\u2014there was a white dusty cloud as if of\nsome person or persons approaching:\u2014the hearts of the emigrants leaped\nfor joy. Was help coming at last? It was evident that a waggon was coming\nnear, and the waggon was filled with armed men;\u2014here was hope. After all\nthe misery of that waitful watching, they were overjoyed, and shouted\naloud with gladness, and sprang with open arms to welcome their visitors.\nLittle did they suppose that the fiends who then came down, with pale\nfaces and the manners of white men, were the same as those who, painted\nand decked out like Indians, had been leaguered about their camp with\nmurderous intentions for so many days.\n\nThe waggon came near, and was found to be filled with armed men. Surely\nnow, the unhappy emigrants thought, substantial help had come\u2014the\nauthorities of Utah in the neighbourhood, whether Gentile or Mormon, had\ncome out in the cause of civilization and humanity, and succour was at\nhand.\n\nA white flag was waved from the waggon as an emblem of peace, and in\norder that the emigrants might know that it was white men and not the red\ndemons of the hills who approached. They did not, indeed, know that these\nthemselves were the monsters who had wronged them all this time, and who\nwere even now compassing their death.\n\nInside that waggon was President Haight, the infamous Mormon Bishop\nJohn D. Lee, and other authorities of the Church in Southern Utah. They\nprofessed to the emigrants that they came upon the friendly errand of\nstanding between them and the Indians. They said that the Indians had\ntaken offence at something that the emigrants had done, that they were\nthirsting for their blood, but that they, the Mormon officials, were on\ngood terms with them and had influence, and would use their good offices\nin the cause of mercy and of peace. After some discussion they left with\nthe professed view of conciliating the Indians. Then they returned and\nsaid that the Indians had agreed that, if the emigrants marched back to\nSalt Lake City, their lives should be spared; but that they must leave\neverything behind them in their camp, even including the common weapons\nof defence which every Western man carries about his person. The Mormon\nofficials then solemnly undertook to bring an armed force and to guard\nthe emigrants safely back again to the Settlements.\n\nThe emigrants were not cowards, and would doubtless have preferred to cut\ntheir way through to the south, but they could not leave their wives and\nlittle ones, and any terms, however disadvantageous, were better than\nleaving those they loved to the tender mercy of those wretches.\n\nThis agreement being made, the Mormon officials retired, and after a\nshort time again returned with thirty or forty armed men. Then the\nemigrants were marched out\u2014the women and children in the front, and the\nmen following, while the Mormon guard followed in the rear. When they had\nmarched in this way about a mile, and had arrived at the place where the\nIndians were hid in the bushes on each side of the road, the signal was\ngiven for the slaughter. So taken by surprise were the emigrants, and\nso implicitly had they confided in these murderers, that they offered\nno resistance. The Mormon Militia, their guard, immediately opened fire\nupon them from the rear, while the Indians, and Mormons disguised as\nIndians, who were hidden among the bushes, rushed out upon them, shooting\nthem down with guns and bows and arrows, and cutting some of the men\u2019s\nthroats with knives. The women and children, shrieking with mortal\nterror, scattered and fled, some trying to hide in the bushes. Two young\ngirls actually did escape for about a quarter of a mile, when they were\novertaken and butchered under circumstances of the greatest brutality.\nThe son of John D. Lee endeavoured to protect one poor girl who clung to\nhim for help; but his father, tearing her from him by violence, blew out\nher brains. Another unhappy girl is said to have kneeled to this same\nmonster Lee, entreating him to spare her life. He dragged her into the\nbushes, stripped her naked, and cut her throat from ear to ear, after she\nhad suffered worse at his hands than death itself. About half an hour was\nprobably occupied in the butchery, and every soul of that company was cut\noff, excepting only a few little children who were supposed to be too\nyoung to understand or remember what had taken place. The unfortunate\nvictims were stripped, without reference to age or sex, and then left to\nrot upon the field. There they remained until torn and dismembered by the\nwolves, when it was then thought prudent to conceal such as lay nearest\nto the road. An eye-witness subsequently visiting the spot said:\u2014\n\n\u201cThe scene of the massacre, even at this late day, was horrible to look\nupon. Women\u2019s hair in detached locks and in masses hung to the sage\nbushes and was strewn over the ground in many places. Parts of little\nchildren\u2019s dresses and of female costume dangled from the shrubbery, or\nlay scattered about, and among these, here and there on every hand, for\nat least a mile in the direction of the road, by two miles east and west,\nthere gleamed, bleached white by the weather, the skulls and other bones\nof those who had suffered. A glance into the waggon, when all these had\nbeen collected, revealed a sight which never can be forgotten.\u201d\n\n[Illustration: SCENE OF THE MOUNTAIN MEADOW MASSACRE.\n\n_To face p. 255._]\n\nThe remains were subsequently gathered together by Major Carleton, the\nUnited States Commissioner, who erected over them a large cairn of\nstones, surmounted by a cross of red cedar, with the inscription thereon:\n\u201c_Vengeance is mine: I will repay, saith the Lord_;\u201d and on a stone\nbeneath were engraved the words:\u2014\n\n\u201cHere 120 men, women, and children were massacred in cold blood, early in\nSeptember, 1857. They were from Arkansas.\u201d\n\nIt is said that this monument was subsequently destroyed by order of\nBrigham Young, when he visited that part of the territory.\n\nThe little children, while their parents were being butchered, had clung\nabout their murderers\u2019 knees, entreating mercy, but none of them finding\nit save those who were little more than infants. Their fears and cries\nthe night after the murder are said to have been heart-rending. One\nlittle babe, just beginning to walk, was shot through the arm. Another\nlittle girl was shot through the ear, and the clothes of most of them\nwere saturated with their mothers\u2019 blood. They were distributed among\nthe people of the settlements, and when finally the Government took\nthem under the protection of the nation, the people among whom these\nlittle ones lived actually charged for their boarding. Two of them are\nsaid to have uttered some words from which it was presumed that their\nintelligence was in advance of their years. They were taken out quietly\nand _buried_! This happened some time after the massacre.\n\nMost of the property of the emigrants was sold by _public auction_ in\nCedar City: the Indians got most of the flour and ammunition, and the\nMormons the more valuable articles. They jested over it and called it\n\u201cSpoil taken at the siege of Sevastopol.\u201d There is legal proof that\nthe clothing stripped from the corpses, blood-stained, riddled by the\nbullets, and with shreds of flesh attached to it, was placed in the\ncellar of the tithing office, where it lay about three weeks, when it\nwas privately sold. The cellar is said to have smelt of it for years.\nLong after this time, jewellery torn from the mangled bodies of the\nunfortunate women was publicly worn in Salt Lake City, and every one knew\nwhence it came. A tithing of it all is reported, upon very conclusive\nevidence, to have been laid at the feet of Brigham Young.\n\nThis is the story, most imperfectly told, for I dare not sketch its\nfoulest details, of the Mountain Meadows Massacre. Brigham Young, who\nwas at the time Governor of the Territory and also Indian Agent, made no\nreport of the matter. Let that fact of itself speak for his innocence or\nguilt. Would any other governor or agent in another territory have been\nthus silent? John D. Lee, and Dame, and Haight, and the other wretches\nhave never been brought to trial or cut off from the Church, although\ntheir monstrous crime has never been a secret, nor have any endeavours\nbeen made to conceal it.\n\nThis fearful deed was one of the unavoidable results of the teachings\nof the Mormon leaders during the Reformation. There were crimes then\nperpetrated in secret which will never be known until the day of doom;\nand there were horrors which have been known and recorded, but for which\nno one has been brought to trial or has suffered inconvenience. There are\nmen in Salt Lake City, who walk about unblushingly in broad daylight, but\nwho are known to be murderers, and whose hands have been again and again\ndyed with blood under circumstances of the most atrocious cruelty.\n\nThere was one cruel murder, but by no means the worst\u2014which came under\nmy own personal observation, and which I have alluded to elsewhere\u2014the\nmurder of Dr. John King Robinson in Salt Lake City, which attracted\nmore than ordinary attention. This gentleman was a physician of good\nstanding, who came out as assistant-surgeon with the United States army,\nand afterwards began to practise in Salt Lake City. He was known as a\nman of unimpeachable moral character, and there are to this day hundreds\nof responsible people who would testify to his fair fame and rectitude;\nalthough he had by some means incurred the dislike of many of the Mormon\nleaders. He formed the idea of taking possession of some warm springs on\nthe north of the city, and proposed to erect there baths, an hospital,\n&c. A small wooden shanty was erected for the purpose of holding\npossession, but the city authorities claimed the spring, and, after some\nvery unpleasant proceedings, the matter was referred to the law courts,\nand Judge Titus decided against the doctor.\n\nAfter this verdict had been rendered, Dr. Robinson seems to have acted\nvery prudently, and to have remained in-doors as much as possible during\nthe succeeding days. Between eleven and twelve o\u2019clock on the night of\nthe third day, however, after the family had retired to rest, a man\ncalled at the house, and stating that his brother had broken his leg by\na fall from a mule and was suffering very much, he, after some earnest\npersuasion, induced the doctor to accompany him. Anxious as he might be\nto remain in-doors at such a time, no professional man would refuse to\nperform an act of mercy. He accordingly went. At a distance of about a\ncouple of hundred steps from the house he was struck over the head with\nsome sharp instrument, and immediately after shot through the brain. His\nwife, a young girl, to whom he had only been married a very short time,\nheard the report of the pistol, and witnesses saw men fleeing from the\nspot. The police were sent for, and the body was carried to Independence\nHall, and afterwards to the victim\u2019s house. The Mayor of the city was\nnot informed of the murder until ten o\u2019clock the next day, and the chief\nof police, who was sitting round the fire with his men when news of the\nmurder arrived, went to bed immediately, and did not visit the scene of\nthe outrage for three days.\n\nThe following Sunday, Brigham Young, in the Tabernacle, publicly\nsuggested that the doctor had probably been murdered by some of the\nsoldiers from Camp Douglas, who were dissatisfied with his treatment when\nthey were under his hands, or else that he had fallen in some gambling\ntransaction\u2014both of which statements, however, were known by every one\npresent to be utterly false. No one was ever prosecuted for this cruel\nmurder. It did not occur during the Reformation, but was the natural\nresult of the teachings of those times.\n\nI simply mention these facts without any comment of my own. Let the\nreader form his own conclusion. More of these frightful stories I do not\ncare to relate; and I should not even have presented these to the notice\nof the reader had it not been impossible otherwise to give any adequate\nidea of that terrible \u201cReformation.\u201d The Gentile army came in. The Union\nPacific Railroad was opened. Changes and chances altered all that had\nbeen, and brought into being that which might be, and that which finally\nreally was. Instead of looking to the events of three or four thousand\nyears ago, men began to act up to things which were\u2014to think and act in\nthe present, not to dream of the past. The day has gone by, but not far,\nwhen the perpetration openly of such deeds was possible; but it is still\nboasted that, when \u201c_Deseret_\u201d becomes a State, the \u201cSaints\u201d will \u201cshow\nstill greater zeal _for the Lord_!\u201d\n\nIn concluding this too brief sketch of the most tragic episodes in\nMormon domestic history, I must warn my readers against the inference\nthat the ghastly facts and details there presented came to my knowledge\neither immediately or soon after my arrival in Utah. No, it was only\nafter many years\u2019 residence there, and by very slow degrees, that they\nbecame known to me, and the effect which they produced on my mind was\nnecessarily broken and impaired by the gradual and disconnected way in\nwhich they oozed out, the horrible and bewildering travesty of biblical\nargument urged in their defence, and by my utter isolation from the outer\nand higher world, and communication with the heart and brain ennobling\ninfluences of a wholesome and invigorating public opinion.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXVII.\n\nWHAT WOMEN SUFFER IN POLYGAMY:\u2014THE STORY OF MARY BURTON.\n\n\nOne bright summer morning, about six months after our arrival in Salt\nLake City, I was sitting in the work-room, busy with my girls, when a\nlight tap was heard at the door, and the next instant a lady entered,\nand, coming straight up to me, was about to kiss me.\n\nI started back a step, held out my hand, looked her full in the face,\nand in a moment we were in each other\u2019s arms. It was my old friend, Mary\nBurton!\n\nI could with difficulty find words to express my astonishment when I\nrecognized her, so greatly was she changed in every respect. From the\nvery first, whenever we met after a long separation, I had noticed a more\nthan ordinary alteration in her appearance. But it must be remembered\nthat at the time of our first re-union she had grown out of childhood\ninto womanhood; when I met her again in New York, she had passed through\nthe most interesting phase of a woman\u2019s life\u2014she had forsaken maidenhood\nfor matrimony; and now I met her once more after she had endured those\nhorrors on the Plains\u2014of which the reader has already heard\u2014and she\nhad entered into a life of sorrow worse than any she had known before.\nNo wonder, then, that now, as upon previous occasions, I noticed quite\na startling change in her appearance. Her dress was of the coarsest\nand plainest kind, but neat, as was everything she touched; yet not so\ncarefully arranged as in the old time in England. She used formerly\nto have a way of adjusting a dress or a bonnet so that it set her off\nten times better than it would a girl who had not naturally the same\ntaste; but now, although, as I said, her clothes, if coarse, were neat,\nshe evidently had not taken any pains to set herself off to the best\nadvantage; and in a woman what a story did that simple fact tell! But it\nwas in her features and manners that the change was most remarkable.\nIn looking at her face you would have been puzzled to say in what the\nalteration consisted. Her cheeks were thinner and sadly pale, but that\nwas not the cause of her appearing as she did. Had she been older, I\nverily believe the anguish she had passed through would have blanched\nher hair and left upon her brow deep marks of thought and suffering. As\nit was, however, though no one feature in particular was very greatly\naltered, the whole expression of her face was that of one whose heart was\nutterly crushed and broken; and when her eyes met mine, I could hardly\nrefrain from tears as I saw the mournful look of subdued pain, which told\nin them the terrific conflict which her heart had endured.\n\nI took her to my own room\u2014poor girl, how my heart bled for her!\u2014and\nagain and again I held her in my arms and tried to comfort her, for she\nwas very weary; and at last she wept. I was glad to see that passionate\nflood of tears, for I knew it would relieve her, and in that I was not\nmistaken. She threw her arms round my neck, and, kissing me repeatedly,\nsobbed out, \u201cDon\u2019t blame me, Sister Stenhouse; don\u2019t blame me very much;\nI cannot help it.\u201d\n\n\u201cThere, there, Mary,\u201d I said; \u201cbe calm and you will soon be better. You\nmust tell me all your troubles, and I will do all I can to help and\ncomfort you.\u201d\n\n\u201cThere is no help, Sister Stenhouse, no comfort for me; I\u2019m past all\nthat,\u201d she answered.\n\n\u201cDon\u2019t say that, Mary,\u201d I said; \u201cI know that you have passed through a\nterrible amount of suffering, and have had much trouble in every way; but\nyour husband is still alive, is he not?\u2014and there may be many years of\nhappiness before you.\u201d\n\n\u201cIt is the thought of him that makes me so wretched,\u201d she said; \u201coh! I\ncould have borne death a thousand times rather than this. I would gladly\nhave seen him die rather than see him changed as he is now. You do not\nknow, Sister Stenhouse, how my whole soul was wrapped up in that man, how\nI almost worshipped him. When we suffered so much together on the Plains,\nI felt happy in comparison with what I feel now. I remember that terrible\nnight when I believed he was dying\u2014I remember the anguish that I felt;\nbut, oh! I knew then that he loved me and that his heart was all my own.\nHad I lost him, if I could myself have lived, I should have felt that he\nhad never loved another beside me; I should have known that we would meet\ntogether again in heaven and be happy in each other\u2019s love. After all we\nwent through together, I loved him more and more; we seemed to live with\none life; we had the same thoughts, and hopes, and pleasures; I leaned\nupon him, and I loved him\u2014ah, so fondly! and, Sister Stenhouse, I know he\nloved me then. We were getting over the effects of our sufferings on the\nPlains, and I was gaining strength and was looking forward to the time\nwhen my child should be born. It was then that they came and taught him\nthat devil\u2019s doctrine and led him away from me. Oh dear! I cannot bear\nit, Sister Stenhouse, I cannot bear it; it will drive me mad!\u201d\n\nShe buried her face in her hands, and sobbed again.\n\n\u201cMary, dear,\u201d I said, \u201cdon\u2019t talk like that; he cannot have ceased to\nlove you, I am sure; he used to almost worship you, dear.\u201d\n\n\u201cIt is because I know that he did once, that drives me crazy. You do not\nknow what I feel, and what I have to bear!\u201d\n\nI did not utter a word; my own sorrows were hidden in my own heart. The\nheart knoweth its bitterness, and a stranger intermeddleth not in the\nmatter. \u201cYou have been through the Endowments?\u201d she asked. \u201cSo have I.\nWe went through, Sister Stenhouse, about three months after we came to\nUtah, and never since then have I known a moment\u2019s peace. I do not know\nwhat they said to my husband, but, whatever it was, it produced a great\neffect upon his mind, and changed him altogether; he has been an altered\nman from that very time. I have no doubt that they told them that it was\nhis duty to take another wife, and they would say that no promise made\nto me before our marriage was binding if it comes in opposition to our\nreligion. You know how devoted he is, how firm his faith is. Why, I do\nbelieve that he would obey counsel even if it broke his heart, and cost\nhim his life. Did they say nothing to you or your husband, dear?\u201d\n\n\u201cCertainly they did, Mary; we have heard it daily and hourly, and my\nhusband is constantly being counselled about it. I am wretched, Mary, you\nknow I must be; I feel just as you do, but how can we help ourselves?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo, we cannot help ourselves, there is no hope,\u201d she said; \u201cbut it is\na cruel wrong. You know well enough how determined I was never to marry\na man who would take another wife. When I thought that Elder Shrewsbury\nmight be influenced by his religion, I made him go to the Apostle and get\ncounsel, and then he solemnly vowed to me that he never would enter into\npolygamy without my consent; which, of course, was the same as saying\nthat he never would do so at all. Until we went through our Endowments,\nhe never even hinted at such a thing. But they spoke to him then; and one\nday, after he had been having a long consultation with the Bishop, he\ncame and spoke to me. He was not unkind in the least. In fact he seemed\nto be as much pained at all mention of the subject as I was. He said that\nthe Bishop had been urging him to live up to his privileges, and had\nexplained to him how great a loss in the celestial world it would be,\nboth to him and to me, if he did not take more wives. He was told that\nnow while he was young was the time, and that I would soon get over any\npain that I might suffer. Yes, they actually said so. Fancy tearing out\nthe very affections of one\u2019s heart, and blasting every hope and happiness\nin life, and then saying that I should soon \u2018get used to it!\u2019 I tell\nyou, Sister Stenhouse, a true woman never can \u2018get used\u2019 to this hideous\nsystem. If the hearts of some are dead and cold, it is a curse to them\nand a curse to their husband and children; and if a wife seems careless\nor callous, as the case may be, it is because love for her husband has\nfirst died out in her heart. She feels no jealousy because she has no\nlove; but if a woman has but a spark of love for her husband, she will\nhate with a deadly hatred any other woman whom that husband loves.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut what did Elder Shrewsbury say when they told him to enter into\npolygamy?\u201d I inquired.\n\n\u201cAt first he told them it was utterly impossible,\u201d she replied, \u201cand he\nmentioned his promise to me, and said we were very happy together, and\nthat he wished for nothing more. But they knew his weakness, and that he\nwould do anything for his religion, and they urged him on that point.\nIt was even a sin against me they said, for if he had no more than one\nwife he could never exalt me in the celestial kingdom; that I ought to be\ntreated like a child\u2014a very dear, but spoilt child; and if I refused what\nwas for my own and my husband\u2019s benefit and everlasting welfare, he ought\nto act up to what he knew was right, and leave the consequences with the\nLord, who would order all things for the best. My husband told me all\nthis very sadly at first, but I could see that it had an effect upon his\nmind. They saw it, too, and did not let the subject drop. Every day they\nspoke to him of it, and at last he gave way\u2014for _my_ sake, he said! This\nwas the cruellest wrong of all. Then one day he told me very firmly and\nvery coldly, as if he had steeled his heart to do so, that he had made up\nhis mind to take another wife.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat!\u201d I exclaimed, \u201cafter the solemn oath he swore never to do such a\nthing? Why, I could not have believed it of Elder Shrewsbury!\u201d\n\n\u201cI reminded him of his promise,\u201d she said, \u201cbut he told me that the\nRevelation justified him in breaking it; that it said in the second\nclause that \u2018All covenants, contracts, and oaths not sealed by him who\nis appointed on earth to hold this power in the last days are of no\nforce after the resurrection;\u2019 that for this cause we had been married\nagain for eternity, and that now he was free from his oath. I knelt down\nbefore him, and I wept and prayed as if for life itself; I entreated him,\nif no more, to wait and put off all thoughts of another marriage for a\nfew months, until he had time to consider the matter carefully. He had\nalready thoroughly thought it over, he said, and could not go back now,\nfor the Bishop had chosen a wife for him, and had arranged everything.\nHe even told me who it was\u2014a young girl named Wilbur, about fourteen\nyears of age\u2014a mere child. I prayed him if he would be so wicked as to\nperjure himself and wrong me so foully, at least not to add to his sin by\ninjuring a poor innocent child. He was very indignant with me for that,\nsaid that he was doing the child the greatest good he possibly could by\nmarrying her; that he was ensuring her salvation as well as mine; and\nthat he expected to receive the blessing of God.\u201d\n\n\u201cMary,\u201d I said, \u201cthis system is a fearful curse.\u201d\n\n\u201cCurse!\u201d she exclaimed, \u201ccurse is a heavenly word to apply to such a\nsystem. Why there is nothing in hell so hateful, so vile, so detestable.\nIt is blight and ruin to everything that is fair and good. I never pass a\nday but I curse with the bitterest hatred the men who devised it. Women\n_can_ hate bitterly when they choose; but I hate _them_ more than ever\nwoman hated before.\u201d\n\n\u201cHush! hush, dear!\u201d I said; \u201cyou mustn\u2019t talk so, Mary!\u201d\n\n\u201cI mustn\u2019t say it perhaps\u2014it\u2019s dangerous, I know; but I may think so.\nThere is not a true-hearted woman in Utah who does not feel as I do this\nday. Do you think that when they have ruined all our hopes for time\nand for eternity we shall love them still? Here, but for this wretched\nsystem, I should have been a happy wife and mother, and now see what I\nam\u2014husband, child, all lost\u2014all lost!\u201d\n\n\u201cIs the child dead, Mary?\u201d I asked very gently, for I feared to pain her.\n\n\u201cYes, dear,\u201d she replied, \u201cin fact, I believe it never lived\u2014the one I\nwas thinking of. I was ill, very ill indeed, after what my husband had\ntold me. They thought I should die, and I think he was sorry, for he\nbecame very kind and tender to me, but that only made me feel worse. Then\nmy child was born, but I never saw it, for I was unconscious for more\nthan a week after, and then they told me that it was not alive, but my\nhusband would never speak to me about it. As I grew better, his cold,\nstern manner returned, and then at last he married that girl Wilbur,\nand since then he has married two more, for he is doing very well in\nbusiness. I think that all his love for me has gone. At first he thought\nof marrying again because it was a religious principle; and as it was\nthe time of the Reformation he did not dare to refuse; but now his heart\nis grown hard and cold. You see a change in me, Sister Stenhouse, but I\nthink you\u2019d see a greater change in him. I know, of course, that I used\nto look at him with the eyes of love, and of course did not see him as\nother people did; but that is not the only change\u2014it isn\u2019t in his face\nalone; his whole nature is altered. It quite pains me sometimes to see\nhim.\u201d\n\n\u201cDo you feel any happier now\u2014any calmer, Mary?\u201d\n\n\u201cYes,\u201d she said, \u201cyes, and no. I do not love him as I used to; how could\nI? But when I look into my heart I find, if I tell you the truth, that a\nlittle love _does_ remain there. If only I could _quite_ cease to love\nhim I think I should be happy; but when I pet and play with my little\ngirl\u2014for we have had one child since that dreadful time\u2014some of my love\nfor him comes back again, and I sit down and have a good cry. Sometimes\nthat isn\u2019t enough to calm me, and I shut the door and walk up and down\nthe room and swear. There! don\u2019t look so horrified, Sister Stenhouse,\nI cannot help it; if I did not give way to my feelings now and then I\nshould die outright; and sometimes I break a few things, but he never\nknows it, and it does me good. We came into the city yesterday on a\nvisit, and we shall stay for a few days. He brought me, I believe, as a\nmatter of form; but I found out where you lived, and I came to see you.\nYou never answered my letter, and I did not know whether you had left New\nYork yet. I really _am_ glad to see you, Sister Stenhouse. And is it true\nthat Brother Stenhouse has not taken another wife yet?\u201d\n\n\u201cNot yet,\u201d I said; \u201cbut, as I told you, he has been spoken to about it,\nand I cannot tell what he may do. As you say, Mary, the Mormon women have\nnot much to make them happy.\u201d\n\nMary gave me a great deal of information. In that she was quite herself,\nas I knew her in by-gone days. Nothing escaped her observation. She sat\ndown with me and told me all her troubles, and I need hardly say how\ndeeply I sympathized with her. So I tried to comfort her, and spoke about\nher child, but even respecting that poor little thing she felt no hope.\n\u201cWhy, when it grows up,\u201d she said, \u201cit will be as miserable as I am\u2014I can\nsee no prospect of happiness in the future for it.\u201d We agreed that the\nonly way whereby we might prevent our children from experiencing sorrow\nand misery similar to our own was to teach them from the very first that\nPolygamy was the natural and proper, as well as the revealed order of\nmarriage; in fact to \u201cbring them up\u201d in the system. What a miserable\nresource was this for a mother who loved her children!\n\n\u201cOne thing, Mary,\u201d I said, referring to her own personal experience\nin Polygamy; \u201cone thing I do not quite understand. _You_, of course,\nhad made your husband specially promise, before you married him, that\nhe would never take another wife, and he was therefore bound, as a\nman, by every moral obligation, not to do so. But other women have\nnot been situated as you were, and they have exacted no promises from\ntheir husbands. Yet it always seemed to me that your doing so was quite\nsuperfluous, for you must be aware, Mary, that the Revelation says that,\nbefore a man can take a second wife, he must have the full consent of\nthe first. The elders in Europe used to make a great deal of that point,\nas you may remember, for they said that this provision took from the\nRevelation any harshness or injustice which it might otherwise appear to\nshow. I know many women who submitted on this account, for they argued\nthat, if their permission was necessary, they could always, by refusing,\nsave themselves from any further trouble. Now if that was so, how came\n_your_ husband to take another wife against your will? I say _your_\nhusband, because I should have no difficulty in many other cases. I\nhave been repeatedly told that husbands never troubled themselves about\nthe Revelation when they wanted another wife, unless it was to silence\nthe first wife with it, if she rebelled. But I always regarded Elder\nShrewsbury as a conscientious man, and I firmly believed that he would\nnever willingly give you a moment\u2019s pain. When he made that promise to\nyou, he had the Revelation before him, and had also the Apostle to go\nto if he needed the \u2018Word of the Lord.\u2019 He was therefore bound by that\npromise, notwithstanding anything that the Revelation might say to the\ncontrary; and even had he made no promise, the Revelation was on your\nside. We are told that every woman must first give her consent.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat is all very true, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cto a certain\nextent. The theory is as you say, but you have not heard the whole.\nI know the Revelation pretty nearly by heart, and so I can tell you\nexactly what it does say. The first wife is said to hold the keys of this\npower, by which is meant that she can refuse. But then it goes on to say\nthat when her husband has taught her the law of the Priesthood\u2014that is\nPolygamy\u2014\u2018_she shall believe or she shall be destroyed_, saith the Lord\nyour God, for I will destroy her.\u2019 You see there is no loophole of escape\nfor the woman. Her husband is to teach her the law, and she _shall_\nbelieve; and if she does not\u2014and of course people have no power to make\nthemselves believe what they please\u2014she is to be destroyed, and God will\ndestroy her! Do you know, Sister Stenhouse, there are stories whispered\nhere of women who _did_ refuse, and who stood in their husbands\u2019 way;\nand it is said that the Priesthood did not wait for the Lord to destroy,\nbut carried out the law themselves. But we have wandered sadly from your\nquestion. You were talking about the first wife giving her consent?\u201d\n\n\u201cYes,\u201d I said, \u201cand you were about to tell me whether it was really and\npractically necessary in every instance. You have been here longer, and\nhave seen more, than I have.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe wife\u2019s consent is by no means necessary, Sister Stenhouse. It may\nbe asked sometimes as a mere matter of form, and, of course, in the\nEndowment House, when she gives the other wives to her husband, she may\nbe said to give her consent to his marrying them. It is nothing but a\npiece of folly to talk about women having the power to withhold their\nconsent, and it is simply an insult and a mockery for their husbands to\nask it; they well know before they ask that their wives dare not refuse\nto give it. But it enables them to boast to the Gentiles that they do not\ntake other wives until their first wife gives her consent. This is what\nis meant by \u2018the liberty of the Gospel,\u2019 I suppose, about which Brother\nBrigham talks so much. But every one knows perfectly well that this is\nall a farce. Without President Young\u2019s consent there can be no marriage\nat all; but if it is the will of Brigham, the refusal of the first wife,\nand the parents, and the girl herself do not for a moment signify.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut did your husband, Mary, act in this way?\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, not quite. He told me that, if I refused, it would make not the\nslightest difference; and as I believed him, I, of course, went, and did\nnot make a scene. It would have only made matters worse. Some of the\nolder sisters came round and talked me over, and explained and insisted,\nand \u2018laboured\u2019 with me as they called it, until I hardly knew what to\nthink or do; my mind was quite unsettled. Eliza R. Snow is quite great\nat that sort of work. When my husband took his other two wives, he did\nnot consult me at all, but simply told me that on a certain day I must go\nwith him to the Endowment House. We went, and he married two sisters on\nthe same day, but it did not do him much good. They are handsome girls,\nbut have very bad tempers, and we often have a very unpleasant time. The\nsecond wife, poor child! suffered most when he married the other two.\nShe did not seem to like me very well at first, which was quite natural;\nbut, when the other two were brought home, she seemed quite to cling to\nme, and I have, strange to say, taken quite a fancy to her. In all our\ndisputes she always sides with me, and in return I always stand up for\nher, as a matter of course. I am getting used to this wretched life; I\ntry to stifle my love; and I am sorry to say that sometimes I almost hate\nevery one around me, including my husband. Now and then the old longing\nfor some one to love, for some one to confide in, comes over me. I felt\nlike that this morning when I came here, and that is what made me act so\nbadly.\u201d\n\n\u201cSay nothing of that, Mary,\u201d I replied. \u201cI wish you would stay with me\nwhile you are in the city.\u201d\n\n\u201cNo,\u201d she said, \u201cwe shall be here for a day or two, but I do not think\nmy husband would like me to stay here altogether. He knows that you are\naware of his attachment to me once, and his promises in the old times,\nand very likely he would be a little ashamed to meet you. He\u2019ll make\nbusiness an excuse, and in fact he is busy all the day. So I\u2019ll come\nround alone as much as I can, and we\u2019ll have a good talk again.\u201d\n\nI saw her to the door, and then she turned and said, \u201cI\u2019ll come again and\nsee you, Sister Stenhouse, before we leave the city.\u201d\n\nThus saying, she kissed me, laughed with the ghost of her former merry\nways when I first knew her, and said good-bye. I watched her till she was\nlost to sight, and then I closed the door, saying to myself, with a sigh,\n\u201cAh, me! can this be the Mary that I once knew?\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXVIII.\n\nHOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN UTAH\u2014A NEW WIFE FOUND FOR MY HUSBAND.\n\n\nNot long after this, I was enabled to visit my Swiss friend, Madame\nBailiff. Ever since her husband had called upon me in Salt Lake City, I\nhad watched anxiously for an opportunity of seeing her, for I felt much\ninterested in learning how time had passed with her since we parted in\nGeneva.\n\nI found her in a little log-cabin of two rooms, with bare walls, bare\nfloor, and miserably furnished; and in this wretched abode poverty and\npolygamy had wrecked the life of my poor friend, whom I had known under\nsuch different circumstances. Here, together with their five children,\nlived also the second wife, with _her_ two children. It was with\ndifficulty that I could recognize in the poor, careworn, broken-spirited,\nand ill-clad woman who stood before me, the once gay, light-hearted,\nhappy, and elegantly-dressed lady whom I had known in Switzerland.\nMormonism had in her case utterly blighted her existence. It seemed to me\nhardly possible that so great a change should have been wrought in her in\nsuch a few years as had elapsed since last I saw her. What suffering she\nmust have endured, I thought, what mental agony, what physical pain, to\nwrite those wrinkled lines of care upon her once handsome face; and, ah!\nwhat a pang I felt at the remembrance that I myself had been instrumental\nin leading her into Mormonism and Polygamy. Self-reproach I did not feel,\nbut sorrow I did. I had thought to lead her into the way of holiness and\nheavenly peace by winning her to the religion of the Saints, but that\nwhich I in my enthusiasm had believed would be the greatest blessing\nwhich one poor mortal could communicate to another, had turned to a\ncurse, and, instead of the happy wife and mother which she once had been,\nshe had become a victim to that faith which in its very existence is an\ninsult to womanhood.\n\nIn temper and disposition she was, however, just the same; her\naffectionate nature was unchanged. No doubt she read in my features\nthe painful surprise which I experienced in witnessing her altered\ncircumstances; but she met me with not a single word of reproach for my\nbeing the cause of her leaving her own dear country. I should not have\nblamed her had she hated me, though she knew, of course, that I had\nwronged her innocently.\n\nShe told me of the difficulties which they had had to contend with after\ntheir arrival in Utah, and how they had been compelled to part with\nalmost everything they had, in order to provide bread for their children.\nWhen they left London, they took with them several handsome carpets,\nchina, glass, and a large quantity of silver ware, besides bedding and\nclothing of every description; for they were well-to-do in the world, and\nhad quite enough for themselves, after they had liberally assisted the\npoorer Saints to emigrate. Upon their arrival in Utah, the husband\u2014good\nman that he was\u2014was willing to come down to the level of his brethren\nand go to farming among them. A brother who knew him in his own country,\nand imagined, I suppose, that he could afford to lose, sold him a farm\nthat he himself had become disgusted with, though, of course, he did not\nsay so; and when my inexperienced friend, Monsieur Bailiff, found that\nnothing could be done with it, he supposed that the land was good enough,\nbut that he himself was not competent to work it. No one ventured to hint\nthat he had been cheated, as it was one of the Church authorities who\nhad sold him the land. After spending upon it all that he possessed, he\nwas finally compelled to abandon it. They were now very much straitened\nin circumstances, and my poor friend told me that she had frequently\nbeen compelled\u2014as they were entirely destitute of money\u2014to take a silver\nspoon or fork to the butcher\u2019s market to trade with, and there they drove\na hard bargain with her, and she obtained next to nothing in exchange\nfor her silver. Her crystal and plate now grace the table of a certain\nrich man in Utah. Every article they possessed went in this way at a\nmost ruinous sacrifice, until nothing remained; and then the husband was\nforced to engage in manual labour, while the poor wife employed herself\nin whatever feminine work she could obtain; they receiving in return just\nwhat people chose to pay them. In the midst of their troubles the husband\nwas \u201ccounselled\u201d to take another wife.\n\n\u201cBut why did he not refuse to do so?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cIf you had been here during the Reformation, you would not ask me such\na question as that. Sister Stenhouse, you ought to thank God that you\nwere not here then. There were shocking things done at that time, and\nthe men were all crazy about marrying. They married every woman who was\nsingle, and even little girls who had scarcely reached their teens; it\nwas a time of terror, and no one dared to rebel.\u201d\n\nShe then told me that her husband had been, as one might say, compelled\nto marry a young Swiss girl whom they had brought out to Utah with them\nas a domestic. This girl had been a very faithful servant, and Madame\nBailiff had become very much attached to her. During the Reformation the\nBishop visited them, and \u201ccounselled\u201d Monsieur Bailiff to take a second\nwife. The girl was also \u201ccounselled\u201d to marry, and when she said that she\ndid not know of any one to whom she would like to be married, the Bishop\ntold her that he himself would find a suitable man.\n\n\u201cMy husband told me what the Bishop had urged him to do,\u201d said Madame\nBailiff, \u201cand we talked the matter over in a practical way. We knew that\nthe girl would be forced to marry somebody, and that then she would have\nto leave us, which would put us to the very greatest inconvenience, for,\nsituated as we were, we could hardly get on without her assistance. At\nthe same time, he also would be compelled to obey counsel, and we came\nto the conclusion that as there was no way of evading the difficulty\naltogether, it would be better for him to marry the girl than to bring a\nstranger into the house. So he asked her, and she accepted him, and they\nwere married. She is a good girl, and tries to do her best, but it is a\ngreat trial to me, and one which I trust you may never be called upon to\nbear. My husband is as kind and gentle a man as ever lived, and he has\ndone all he could to keep me from feeling unhappy; had it been otherwise,\nI dare not think what I should have done\u2014I believe I should have gone mad\nor died. In our household arrangements, of course it made very little\ndifference, but it was inexpressibly painful to me, and though I suppose\nI shall remain a Mormon till the day of my death, I have learned to hate\nMormonism.\u201d\n\nPoor Madame Bailiff! Hers was a life of privation and sorrow of late\nyears. Happy as woman could be in her youthful days, she little dreamed\nwhat Providence had in store for her ere her earthly course had run. With\na faithful and devoted husband; with a charming little family growing\nup around her; with all that could make life fair and beautiful. But\nthat accursed thing\u2014Polygamy\u2014came and poisoned all her happiness, and\nblighted all her hopes; and when, but a few months ago, worn out and\nweary of life, she left behind her all her sorrows and all her misery, I\ncould not weep that she had gone to a better land beyond the veil, but\nI thanked God that at last, poor soul, her days of trial were for ever\nover, and she had entered into her eternal rest.\n\nOne day Brother Brigham sent me word that he wished to see me.\n\nI went to him, and he told me that he wanted me to become acquainted\nwith a certain young girl in whom he took a great interest. She was the\ndaughter, by his first wife, of Jedediah M. Grant, the famous Apostle of\nthe \u201cReformation\u201d\u2014her name was Carrie, and she was now an orphan. Brother\nBrigham wished me to have her with me every day, for she was not \u201cfeeling\nwell,\u201d he said, and he thought I might do her some good. This \u201cnot\nfeeling well\u201d I afterwards discovered meant that she was almost ready to\napostatize. If she desired it, I was to teach her my business; not that\nshe needed to follow any profession, for, as President Young explained,\nshe had a good home; but her mind needed occupation, and he did not care\nhow she employed her time, so long as she was with me every day and could\nbe made to \u201cfeel well.\u201d\n\nI listened to all that Brother Brigham said, and accepted the trust in\ngood faith\u2014not only to please him, but because the girl was an orphan,\nand my heart went out towards her even before I had seen her.\n\nBefore I returned home I called at the house where Carrie was stopping,\nand arranged that she should come every day to see me, under pretext of\nlearning the business. Now it so happened that we each conceived a liking\nto the other the very first moment we met; we made friends together at\nonce, and she wanted to begin coming to me the very next day. She was\na sweet-looking and intelligent girl, fair, but fragile, and with a\npeculiar expression of melancholy sadness dwelling upon her features,\nwhich gave her a painfully interesting appearance. I never before, or\nsince, met with a young girl who habitually looked so unhappy; and I\nthought that perhaps physical weakness might be the cause, for it was\nevident that in constitution she was extremely delicate\u2014I almost feared\nconsumptive.\n\nThe first day we spent together she told me that her parents had been\namong the pioneers to Utah, that her only sister had died on the Plains,\nand that she had lost her mother soon after they had arrived in Salt Lake\nCity. As the only remaining child of her mother, she had been a great\npet with her father, but he too had died about four years previous to\nthe time of which I speak, and she had never been happy since. \u201cI often\nlong to die,\u201d she said, \u201cthat I might join my mother and father; no one\nloves me here, and I have nothing to live for.\u201d Her father had married\nfour wives after her mother\u2019s death, and they were all very kind to her,\nbut she did not feel that she had a home. She told me that about six\nmonths before she came to me she had started to go east, to her mother\u2019s\nfriends, for they had frequently written to her, urging her to come to\nthem, and that when she was about two weeks\u2019 journey from Salt Lake City,\nBrigham Young sent after her, and she was brought back. \u201cBut,\u201d she said,\n\u201cI shall never be happy here, Sister Stenhouse, I know I never shall; and\nwhy should they not let me leave and go to my relatives?\u201d\n\nI knew very well that it was of no use for her to try to get away, for\nwe had no railroad then, and escape was almost impossible. I therefore\ntried to make her more cheerful, and told her that a girl as young as\nshe was\u2014for she was scarcely seventeen\u2014had much to live for. But her\nunhappiness had become almost a settled melancholy, and she seemed to be\ninterested in nothing. Besides which, the task I attempted was all the\nmore difficult as I was not at all happy myself.\n\nOne day the conversation happened to turn upon Polygamy, and in a moment\nI saw that all her trouble arose from that miserable doctrine, and from\nthat alone. We had not exchanged many words upon the subject when she\nexclaimed: \u201cOh, how I hate Polygamy! God forgive me; but I cannot help\nit, Sister Stenhouse! I do hate it; and yet I believe that it is true.\u201d\nPoor child! I understood her too well, for her position was exactly mine.\nFrom that moment we were fast friends.\n\nHere was the child of one of the greatest fanatics that Mormonism has\never known, one of the wildest advocates of the \u201cCelestial Order of\nMarriage,\u201d perfectly loathing the system; and yet, poor girl, believing\nit firmly, and believing too that she could not obtain salvation unless\nshe entered into it. How I pitied and loved that poor girl!\u2014and yet what\nstrength or consolation could I offer her, being myself as painfully\nsituated as she was? Our mutual sorrow united us still more painfully\nin loving companionship. I had rarely met among the Mormon girls with\none so thoughtful and observing, so kind and gentle. She had not been\nwith me many weeks before she had entwined herself so completely round\nmy heart that I was lonely when she stayed away, and I tried to keep her\nwith me altogether. I tried in every way to make her feel at home when\nat my house; and noticing her delicate health, and thinking that she did\nnot always get those little things to tempt her appetite which an invalid\nshould always have, I found out many trifles which I believed would\nplease her, and always tried to get them for her. She seemed to think\nmuch of these little attentions, and I have always believed that she\nloved me very dearly.\n\nSome of my neighbours began to whisper pretty plainly to me that Brother\nBrigham had an object in view in asking me to interest myself in Carrie\u2019s\nwelfare. They told me they believed that my husband, if he had not\nalready been counselled to marry her, would be before long. Knowing, as\nI did, Carrie\u2019s aversion to Polygamy, these suggestions did not trouble\nme very much; but I begged my informants not to speak of the matter in my\nyoung friend\u2019s presence, as it would only disturb and annoy her. I was\nthe more anxious on this point as her health had by that time began very\nperceptibly to improve, and sometimes she seemed to be almost joyous and\nlight-hearted. Sometimes she would sew, and sometimes she read or played\nwith the children, of whom she was very fond, and I always allowed her to\ndo just as she pleased.\n\nOne day my talkative friend called to see me. She had not been near the\nhouse for several months, and I think, at her last visit, she must have\ntaken offence at my telling her that I thought she had not acted wisely\nin procuring wives for her husband. She had, however, now an object in\ncoming which I soon discovered.\n\nShe was shown in, and as soon as she was fairly seated, I observed that,\nwhile talking to me, she was inquisitively scrutinizing Carrie\u2019s face, as\nif trying to discover her character or read her thoughts. Suddenly\u2014she\ndid everything impulsively\u2014she interrupted the conversation, saying:\n\u201cSister Stenhouse, I want to speak to you privately.\u201d I asked her to come\nwith me into the next room, and she did so, but before I had time to\nclose the door, she exclaimed: \u201cAllow me to congratulate you; you have\ndone very wisely!\u201d\n\n\u201cCongratulate me upon what?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cUpon the excellent choice you have made for your husband,\u201d she replied;\n\u201cI knew very well you would ponder over my good counsel and seek another\nwife for Brother Stenhouse, and I am certain that my example and my faith\nand prayers have helped you, for I have asked the Lord to strengthen you\nto do just what you are doing.\u201d\n\n\u201cDoing!\u201d I said, \u201cwhat am I doing? I really don\u2019t understand what you\nmean.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, nonsense!\u201d she exclaimed; \u201cbut I understand, if you don\u2019t. You wish\nto keep it a secret, I suppose, until the happy event takes place. And\nyou are quite right in that, for there are so many busybodies here, and\nthey do interfere so much in their neighbours\u2019 affairs that it isn\u2019t\npleasant. But of course you needn\u2019t fear _me_\u2014_I_ shouldn\u2019t think of\nbreathing one single word of the matter, unless you wished me to do so.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am really at a loss to know what you mean,\u201d I said, very much annoyed\nwith her.\n\n\u201cOh,\u201d she said, \u201cif you think that I am interfering, I will not say\nanother word, for I should very much dislike to be considered meddlesome.\nBut you know, my dear Sister Stenhouse, the great interest I have always\nfelt concerning you; from the very first when I knew you in England I\nalways prophesied great things of you, but I was a little afraid when I\nsaw your opposition to Polygamy, and I cannot tell how happy I felt when\nI heard yesterday that you had found a wife\u2014and a good wife too\u2014for your\nhusband.\u201d\n\n\u201cI find a wife for my husband!\u201d I exclaimed. \u201cThat I never would. I\ndislike Polygamy far too much to do so. No; if he ever wants another\nwife, I shall never help him to find her; he\u2019ll have to get her himself.\u201d\n\n\u201cWho is that young girl, then, that I saw just now?\u201d she asked; \u201cis that\nnot Miss Grant?\u201d\n\nI replied that it was.\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d said she, \u201cI was told that you had asked her to marry your\nhusband.\u201d\n\n\u201cThere is no truth in the report,\u201d I said; \u201cI am sure that she has never\nthought of such a thing, nor have I, nor has my husband; and I would not\nhave such a thing spoken of for the world.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell,\u201d she replied, \u201cI am really quite disappointed. You have a splendid\nopportunity, and I do believe that that was what Brother Brigham meant\nwhen he asked me to see after her. In fact, I was told that it was his\nonly motive, all along.\u201d\n\n\u201cThen Brother Brigham will soon find out his mistake, I can assure you,\u201d\nI answered, \u201cfor I never will ask her; and, moreover, if I thought for\na moment that she would ever wish such a thing, much as I love her, I\nshould then hate her.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy dear Sister,\u201d she said, \u201chow do you expect ever to get salvation? I\nsuppose you think that is none of my business, and that I should leave\nyou in the hands of the Lord. But before I go, let me ask you to see\nEliza Snow as soon as you have an opportunity. She will build you up, and\ndo you a world of good.\u201d\n\nI told her I needed no \u201cbuilding up;\u201d all I wanted was that my husband\nand myself should be left alone, and that people should not meddle with\nour affairs.\n\nAfter she had gone, her conversation troubled me a great deal. What did\nit all mean? Had the busybodies been trying to bring about an alliance\nbetween my husband and Carrie? Had Brigham Young been working all along\nto this end? However it might be, I resolved that, at least, Carrie\nshould know nothing of the matter from me.\n\nOne morning, the Apostle Heber C. Kimball called in his carriage. It was\nvery early, being only about seven o\u2019clock. Mr. Stenhouse went out to\nsee him, but in his blunt way he said: \u201cI do not want you, I want Sister\nFanny to take a ride with me.\u201d My husband brought him into the house and\nhe told me he wanted to have a talk with me. \u201cYou must not fix up,\u201d he\nsaid, \u201cor I won\u2019t ride with you. Come along in your wrapper and slippers,\nand just put on your sun-bonnet.\u201d\n\nI told him that I never went out in a sun-bonnet. \u201cWell, then, do it for\nthe first time,\u201d he said.\n\nI suggested that I had had no breakfast, and asked him if he would wait\nand have some with us.\n\n\u201cNo,\u201d said he; \u201cI have plenty of wives around this town, and we will\nfind breakfast somewhere.\u201d So I started just as I was, and he told the\ndriver\u2014who, I think, was one of his own sons\u2014to call round and see \u201cthe\nfolks\u201d\u2014meaning his wives. Then, turning to me, he said: \u201cYou never looked\nprettier, Sister Fanny; you ought always to wear a sun-bonnet, but you\nlike dress a great deal too much\u2014you will keep your husband poor, and\nthen how will he be able to carry out the commands of God? Did you ever\nthink of that? Then, again, you dress your children too much; it must\ntake pretty well all your time to make their clothes; and see what it\nmust cost. Now, I\u2019m going to give you some good advice. Do what my folks\ndo. I tell them to make a linsey dress for each of the children in the\nspring, and let them wear it all the summer; and then, when the winter\ncomes, it will be so full of grease and dirt that it will be sure to keep\nthem warm. Now I\u2019m sure you won\u2019t consent to do that with your children,\nso it is good counsel thrown away.\u201d I knew well enough that Brother Heber\nwas only jesting, for apparently he provided very well for his family,\nalthough he allowed them no luxuries. He went on to say: \u201cBut that\nisn\u2019t what I wanted to speak to you about; I had something else to say.\nWhen is your husband going to marry Miss Grant? That girl has got to be\nlooked after by some good man and woman, and I think that you and Brother\nStenhouse will do first-class. What do you think?\u201d\n\n\u201cI should not like my husband to marry her,\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cAnd why not, Sister Fanny?\u201d he asked.\n\n\u201cBecause I myself love her,\u201d I replied.\n\n\u201cWhy, that is the very reason why he ought to do it the sooner,\u201d he said,\n\u201cand you would continue to love her, and love her all the better too,\nwhen she belonged to your husband, and when you saw how much he loved\nher.\u201d He laughed outright as he said this, and told me not to look so\nsolemn. \u201cWhy,\u201d he said, \u201cit\u2019s the finest thing in the world to develope\nlove in the women; a man never gets so much attention in his life as when\nhe has got several wives all trying their best to please him.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat may be,\u201d I said; \u201cbut who is to pay attention to their wives?\u201d\n\n\u201cThings have been all upside down in the world, Sister Fanny,\u201d he\nanswered, \u201cand the Priesthood is going to set them all in order. It is\nthe women\u2019s place to minister to the men, and the men, in return, will\nsave them in the Kingdom, if they are good girls.\u201d\n\nBy this time we had driven round several of his fields in the lower part\nof the city, and at last we stopped at the house of one of his wives. She\nvery kindly prepared breakfast for us; after which we called to see two\nor three other wives, and then returned home. On the way back he tried to\nget me to promise that I would persuade my husband to marry Miss Grant.\nThis I positively refused to do, although it would have been dangerous\nfor me not to acquiesce had it not been that Brother Heber was attached\nto me and allowed me to say what I liked against Polygamy, laughing at me\nand telling me to \u201chold on\u201d when I became too much in earnest.\n\nThis constant reference to Carrie began to trouble me seriously,\nalthough, so far, I had not yet spoken about it either to her or to my\nhusband, and did not intend to do it. I felt sure that Carrie, poor\nchild, was perfectly innocent; she had refused to go to several parties\nwith us, and had otherwise declined to accompany my husband, and I\nbelieved that I had no cause for uneasiness.\n\nThus time passed, and more than a year flew by, and Carrie still remained\nwith me. Lately I thought that her manner was changed, and that she was\na good deal altered. I noticed that she was shy when in the presence of\nmy husband, and that she rather avoided him. For a long time I had not\nsuspected that anything was wrong between them, and the knowledge that\nCarrie was troubled, and that my husband was the cause, came upon me\nsuddenly. She began by staying away for several days at a time, and at\nlast she told me that she was going away for a while to visit a friend\nin the country. She looked so unhappy that I felt sure that all was not\nright, and begged her not to go, but she would not listen to me. It was\nnecessary for her to go, she stated, and would say no more. She bade\nme good-bye, and for two months I heard nothing of her, supposing that\nshe was in the country, and then I was surprised to learn that she was\nvisiting with a friend in another part of the city, and that she was\nvery ill indeed. I immediately went to call upon her, and she was very\nmuch pleased to see me, and then I discovered that she had not been in\nthe country at all, but had been there in the city with her friend. I\ncould not at the time understand her conduct; but as she, in common\nwith most other delicate people, was rather capricious, I allowed it to\npass without any comment. She told me that as soon as she felt a little\nbetter she would come and see me; but she never came, and I was somewhat\noffended at her supposed neglect, and thought that before I visited her\nagain I would wait and see whether she first came up to our house.\n\nAll this time, a friend of Carrie\u2019s was in the habit of looking in very\nfrequently upon some trifling errand or other, and I noticed that she\nalways waited for the return of my husband, and then made some excuse to\ngo out with him, and they had long conversations together. There was some\nmystery, I clearly perceived, and as a wife and a woman I determined that\nit was my duty to find out what that mystery was.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXIX.\n\nTAKING A SECOND WIFE:\u2014THE EXPERIENCE OF THE FIRST.\n\n\nI did not presume to ask my husband what it was that he had to talk about\nwith Carrie\u2019s friend, but I instinctively felt what it might be, and I\nwas so much troubled in mind that I thought I would never go to see her\nagain.\n\nBy that time I had learned, as every Mormon wife does learn, never to ask\nquestions. The wife of a Saint never dares to ask her husband whither he\nis going or when he will return. She is not expected to know or care what\nbusiness her husband may have on hand when he leaves home in the evening,\nafter making a most elaborate toilet, with frequent admiration of himself\nin the mirror. If the poor wife feels that she _must_ say something, to\ngive vent to her overwrought feelings, she simply asks in a conscious,\nguilty way, when he will be home again; wishing too often in her secret\nheart that he might say\u2014Never. Her duty is to be silent and unobservant;\nand though some poor women have, when their outraged feelings were\novercharged, inadvertently betrayed curiosity respecting the movements\nof the absent ones, they have soon been sternly taught their duty, and\nthose loving husbands have given them good cause to repent of their\ninquisitiveness.\n\nAnd who can blame these disconsolate, lonely women, if thus they feel?\nTheir religion alone is to blame. It has been the destruction of that\nsweet confidence which should exist between husband and wife, and it has\ndivided hearts and interests which should inseparably have been for ever\none. This, slowly but no less painfully, I was beginning to understand.\nHowever earnestly I might try to combat the idea, my life was wretched\nwith the one continual fear of what I might see or hear of my husband.\nI tried to drive away such thoughts, and I called to mind all the acts\nof kindness and devotion which he had shown to those whose love my heart\nheld dear. Sometimes, arguing with myself, I said: \u201cNo, _my_ husband\nwill not deceive _me_; no matter what other men may do or be with their\nwives, _my_ husband will be frank and true with me.\u201d\n\nSo I thought then; but I was destined to realize in my own experience how\nutterly impossible it is for any man, no matter how honest and truthful\nhe may naturally be, to practise Polygamy without becoming a hypocrite;\nand the more he loves his wife the greater hypocrite he will become,\ntrying to deceive her with the foolish notion that half his cruelty is\ndone in attempting to \u201cspare her feelings.\u201d\n\nMy husband thought that he was acting kindly to me when he said nothing\nof all that transpired between him and Carrie; but when I saw the visit\nof Carrie\u2019s lady-friend so frequently repeated, I began to suspect the\ntruth, and was much troubled. I was, however, too proud to question him\non the subject, at the risk of getting an evasive answer, and it was\nevident that the two persons most intimately interested in the matter\nintended that I should be kept in the dark. I saw through all this, and\nit did not tend either to restore my peace of mind or to make me more\npleasant in my intercourse with Carrie or my husband. In their conduct I\ncould see nothing but deception, however good their intention might be,\nand I felt that they were treating me as a child. The thought was very\npainful to me, and it was only with a great effort that I suppressed it.\n\nThese painful feelings, of course, had a marked effect upon my daily\nlife. I grew weary, and my health failed, I became thin, and my features\nwere marked with care and anxiety. When people came to see me, I said\nlittle to them, and their very presence I felt irksome. Mechanically\nI went through the daily routine of duty, but my heart was in nothing\nthat I did. I dared not even trust myself to speak to any one, for fear\nof becoming the subject of conversation and attracting the attention of\nthe authorities, which was not at all desirable, for the position of\na \u201crebellious woman\u201d in those days was anything but pleasant. I stood\nalone. Upon my husband I looked with suspicion; my children were too\nyoung to understand me; Carrie\u2014whom I had taken to my heart, to whom I\nhad confided my sorrows, whose own welfare had been so dear to me\u2014had, as\nI thought, turned against me, like an adder, and there was no one in whom\nI could trust. It seemed to me too cruel for Carrie to treat me so, and\nyet I could not doubt that she was acting unfaithfully towards me.\n\nSurrounded by my children, living under the same roof with my husband,\nmy heart was, nevertheless, filled with a sense of utter loneliness\nand desolation. There was no one in whom I could confide, to whom I\nmight tell my sorrows, and from whose counsel or strength I might derive\ncomfort. I dared not even go and lay my griefs before God, for I had\nbeen led to believe that all my suffering was caused by an arbitrary\ndecree which He willed to be enforced. How false a notion of that loving\nheavenly Father whose tender care is so manifestly shown in His gentle\ndealings with the weakest of His creatures!\n\nIt was now about six months since Carrie left my house, and I was under\nthe impression that all that time certain well-intentioned sisters had\nbeen doing all they could to bring about a marriage between her and\nmy husband. Her health, however, was so bad that sometimes for weeks\ntogether she did not leave her room. At the time, of course, I knew\nnothing of this, but I afterwards heard of it. When I called upon her,\nwhich I did when I found that she was too ill to come to see me, I\nthought she was greatly changed in her manner; but when I thought of\nher lonely position, my heart warmed towards her, and I forgot all my\nsuspicions. Certainly, I wanted to ask her one plain question relative\nto my husband, but my pride would not allow me to speak to her on that\nsubject unless she first mentioned it to me. One day I thought that\nshe was about to make a confession. Talking indifferently of ordinary\nmatters, she suddenly said, \u201cI am surprised you ever wished to see me;\u201d\nbut when I asked her why, expecting that she would now explain what had\nso long troubled me, she answered evasively, and nothing more was said.\n\nWith Carrie\u2019s absence from our house the rumours about her which had\ntroubled me so much somewhat subsided. Nothing could silence the secret\napprehension which continually held my soul in dread; but the fear of\nmy young friend\u2019s influence once removed, I was comparatively at peace.\nIt was, however, but the lull before the storm. I soon learned that in\nlosing Carrie I did not lose Polygamy, and from about that time I can\ndate my husband\u2019s desire to sustain his brethren in the performance of\ntheir duty, and his wish to act as they did, especially in reference\nto the \u201cCelestial Order of Heaven.\u201d Just at that time the \u201cMorrill\nBill\u201d for the suppression of Polygamy was presented to Congress, and\nall true Mormons were made to feel that it was their duty to stand by\ntheir leader; and though, in itself, they might see nothing desirable in\nPolygamy, yet, if they had not already multiplied wives, it was their\nduty to do so without any delay.\n\nEver watchful as I was, I noticed little changes in my husband, which\nunder ordinary circumstances would have escaped my observation. By this\ntime one all-absorbing idea had taken possession of my mind, and my\nhusband\u2019s thoughts, I believe, were turned in the same direction\u2014only our\nwishes did not exactly coincide. Polygamy was the thought common to both,\nbut upon its desirability we entertained dissimilar views.\n\nA man with Polygamy upon his mind was then a creature which I did not\nunderstand, and which I had not fully studied. Some years later, when\nI had a little more experience in Mormonism, I discovered several\nnever-failing signs by which one might know when a man wished to take\nanother wife. He would suddenly \u201cawaken to a sense of his duties;\u201d\nhe would have serious misgivings as to whether the Lord would pardon\nhis neglect in not living up to his privileges; he would become very\nreligious, and would attend to his meetings\u2014his \u201ctestimony meetings,\u201d\nsinging meetings, and all sorts of other \u201cmeetings,\u201d which seemed just\nthen to be very numerous, and in various other ways he would show his\nanxiety to live up to his religion. He would thus be frequently absent\nfrom home, which, of course, \u201che deeply regrets,\u201d as \u201che loves so dearly\nthe society of his wife and children.\u201d The wife, perhaps, poor simple\nsoul! thinks that he is becoming unusually loving and affectionate, for\nhe used not, at one time, to express much sorrow at leaving her alone\nfor a few hours; and she thinks how happy she ought to feel that such a\nchange has come over her husband, although, to be sure, he was always as\ngood as most of the other Mormon men.\n\nMy husband was a good and consistent Mormon, and very much like the rest\nof his brethren in these matters; and the brethren, knowing themselves\nhow he felt, sympathized with him, and urged him on, and, by every\nmeans in their power, aided him in his noble attempts to carry out \u201cthe\ncommands of God!\u201d\n\nOne evening, when he came home, he seemed pre-occupied, as if some matter\nof importance were troubling his mind. This set me thinking, too. I saw\nthat he wanted to say something to me, and I waited patiently. \u201cI am\ngoing to the ball,\u201d he presently remarked, \u201cand I am going alone, for\nBrother Brigham wishes me to meet him there.\u201d I knew at once what was\npassing in his mind, and dared not question him. He went and saw Brigham.\nWhat passed between them I do not know; but, when my husband returned, he\nintimated to me that it had been arranged that he should take another\nwife.\n\nThe idea that some day another wife would be added to our household was\never present in my mind, but, somehow, when the fact was placed before me\nin so many unmistakable words, my heart sank within me, and I shrank from\nthe realization that _our_ home was at last to be desecrated by the foul\npresence of Polygamy.\n\nAlmost fainting, now that the truth came home to me in all its startling\nreality, I asked my husband when he proposed to take his second wife.\n\n\u201cImmediately,\u201d he replied; \u201cthat is to say, as soon as I can.\u201d\n\nWe were silent for some time. My mind was troubled. Had I been able to\nconsider the whole affair as an outrage upon humanity in general, and\nan insult to my sex in particular, I should have replied with scorn and\ndefiance. Had I implicitly believed in the divinity of the Revelation, I\nshould have bowed my head in meek submission. But I did neither of these.\nThe feelings of my heart naturally led me to hate with a most perfect\nhatred the very mention of the word Polygamy, while at the same time I\nstill believed, or tried to make myself believe, that the Revelation\nwas from God, and must therefore be obeyed. Such was the strange and\ncontradictory position in which I was placed.\n\n\u201cAre you not satisfied that it is right for me to take another wife?\u201d my\nhusband asked.\n\n\u201cI have never yet really doubted that the Revelation was from God,\u201d I\nreplied, \u201cfor I cannot believe that any man would be so blasphemous\nand wicked as to set forth such a revelation in God\u2019s name, unless he\nreceived it as he said he did. If it is from God, of course you are\nright to obey it; but if I were to consult my own feelings I would never\nconsent to live in Polygamy. I would rather risk salvation, and tell the\nLord that He had placed upon me a burden heavier that I was able to bear,\nand that I regarded Him as a hard taskmaster. But when the salvation of\nmy husband and children, to say nothing of my own, is at stake, my wishes\nand happiness go for nothing, and I can only consent.\u201d\n\nFrom that moment I felt like a condemned criminal for whom there was not\na shadow of hope or a chance of escape. Could I possibly have looked\nupon the sacred obligations of marriage as lightly as Mormonism taught\nme to regard them, I believe I should have broken every tie and risked\nthe consequences. But I had vowed to be faithful unto death, and if\nthis second marriage was for my husband\u2019s welfare, and for the salvation\nof us and of our children, I resolved to make the effort to subdue my\nrebellious heart, or die in the attempt. For the first time in my life,\nI thanked God that I was not a man, and that the salvation of my family\ndid not depend upon me; for if fifty revelations had commanded it, I\ncould not have taken the responsibility of withering one loving, trusting\nheart. I felt that if such laws were given to us, our woman\u2019s nature\nought to have been adapted to them, so that submission to them might be\nas much a pleasure to us as it was to the men, and that we might at least\nfeel that we were justly dealt with.\n\nNot long after this, my husband brought me a message from Eliza R.\nSnow. She wanted me to take tea with her, and he urged me to accept\nthe invitation. I did not want to go, for I knew too well her object\nin sending for me. She had been talking with my husband about me, I\nfelt sure, and that was how she came to send the message by him. I\nwent, however, and, as I anticipated, she wanted to talk with me about\nPolygamy, and to try to convince me that it was for our best interests\nthat my husband should take another wife, and that it was quite time he\ndid so.\n\nI told her that he was not yet in a position to do so. \u201cWe have quite\na family,\u201d I said, \u201cand I think he should at least be allowed to wait\nuntil he has accumulated a little before he embarrasses himself with new\nresponsibilities.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd where would the kingdom of God be,\u201d she asked, \u201cif we had all talked\nin this way? Let your husband take more wives, and let them help him, and\nyou will feel blessed in keeping the commands of God.\u201d\n\n\u201cThere would be no good in my husband taking another wife,\u201d I said,\n\u201cwhile I feel as I do now. To be acceptable to the Lord, a sacrifice\nshould be made willingly and in a proper spirit, and I do not think that\nunder present circumstances it is proper for him to do this thing.\u201d\n\n\u201cLet him be the judge of that,\u201d she replied; \u201cdo not seek to control him;\nhe alone is responsible, and therefore let him do as he thinks best.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut,\u201d I said, \u201che himself does not want another wife yet.\u201d But I spoke\nwith hesitation, for my heart misgave me.\n\n\u201cYou are mistaken,\u201d she answered; \u201cyour husband is a very good man, and\ndesires to live his religion, and it is a great grief to him to know that\nyou feel as you do, and you really must try to overcome your opposition.\nIf you had a loaf of bread to make, and you made it, and it was\npronounced good, do you think it would be of the slightest consequence\nwhat feelings agitated your mind while you were making it, so long as\nit was well made? So it is with the Lord. He does not care with what\nfeelings you give your husband another wife, so long as you do so.\u201d\n\nThis was a miserable attempt at reasoning, to say nothing of its falsity;\nand notwithstanding all she said, I still felt that no blessing would\never attend an unwilling sacrifice, and I told her so. She spoke to me\nvery kindly, however, and tried to encourage me, and suggested that\nCarrie would be a very proper person for my husband to marry. I had now\nno longer any doubt in my mind that it had been all \u201carranged,\u201d and that\nopposition on my part would be all in vain. I was indignant at this, for\nI believed that, as the Revelation itself said, I\u2014the first wife\u2014ought\nfirst to have been consulted. This, however, I subsequently found was as\nfalse as the system itself.\n\nI returned home, pondering over what had been said to me, with a feeling\nof intense weariness oppressing my heart. I did not know what to think.\nIt appeared to me that every one had determined that Carrie should be my\nhusband\u2019s second wife; and I now believed, with my talkative friend, that\nBrigham Young had certainly intended it from the beginning. I felt that\nI would rather that he should marry almost any one else than her; for I\nfelt certain that I should hate any woman whom he might marry, no matter\nhow much I might have loved her before.\n\nBut my mind was soon relieved of its trouble respecting poor Carrie;\nfor, as I before mentioned, her failing health forbade all thoughts of\nmarriage, and my husband, after a short time, never spoke to me about\nher. The real cause of my distress, however, was by no means removed; it\nwas determined, without appeal, that my husband should, notwithstanding\nany impediment to the contrary, take another wife, whoever that chosen\none might be. My apprehensions, therefore, were not removed; they were\nonly turned in another direction.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXX.\n\nTRIALS\u2014THE SECOND WIFE CHOSEN\u2014SHADOWS OF LIFE.\n\n\nIt is a custom among the Mormon married men\u2014those at least who make any\npretensions to doing what is right, and who wish to spare the feelings of\ntheir wives as much as the degrading system will allow\u2014to make it appear\nas if the second wife were chosen by the first, and they go through the\nform of consulting with her as to who shall be selected. The husband\nwill mention the names of several eligible young ladies, among whom is\nsure to be the one upon whom he has already set his affections. If the\nwife should try to make herself agreeable by suggesting one or another\nof these young ladies, some objection is sure to be raised. One is too\nthoughtless; the relations of another are not quite so agreeable as\nthey might be; and the temper of a third is said to be not very good.\nIn this way, one after another is taken off the list, until only one\nremains\u2014the bright particular star of whom all along the husband has been\nthinking\u2014and if the wife should make any objections to _this_ one, the\nhusband, of course, has a ready answer. In most cases her extreme youth\nis an excuse for everything; she will have plenty of time to learn, and\nwill be the more ready to be taught.\n\nWhen once they have obtained the reluctant consent of their wives, it\nis astonishing how bright and cheerful these Mormon husbands become.\nNotwithstanding all that they have said to the contrary, it is evident\nthat Polygamy is no trial to _their_ faith. They say that it is as great\na cross to them as it is to their wives, but somehow or other they take\nvery kindly to it.\n\nIt was soon settled who should be the honoured maiden to whom my husband\nshould pay his addresses. Her name was Belinda, and she was the daughter\nof the Apostle Parley P. Pratt. I of course was not expected to ask any\nquestions or evince any curiosity respecting the girl or my husband\u2019s\nrelations towards her. I had given my consent, I had acted my part, or\nat least all the part that was expected of me; I had fulfilled my duty\nas a Mormon first wife when I agreed to another wife being taken; and,\nhenceforth, all that transpired was\u2014so the Elders would have said\u2014no\nbusiness of mine.\n\nMy husband\u2019s intended certainly was very young\u2014almost too young for a\nbride she would have been considered in any other community\u2014and I must in\nfairness allow that she was very handsome. It is of the utmost importance\nthat a Mormon girl should marry young. Women everywhere are never anxious\nto grow old, but among the Mormons age is especially dreaded by the\nwomen; for when years have robbed them of their personal attractions, in\nmost cases they lose all hold upon their husbands\u2019 affections, and find\nthemselves obliged to give place to prettier and more youthful rivals.\nA woman\u2019s position in the world to come, as I have before mentioned,\ndepends, so the Elders say, very much upon the number of children she\nhas borne in this; it is, therefore, a consideration of the very first\nimportance that she should marry as early in life as possible, and\nthis obligation is never for a moment overlooked by the refined and\npure-minded Mormon men.\n\nAnd now began the \u201cpainful task\u201d of wooing the young lady. My husband\ntold me that it was \u201ca very painful duty,\u201d and as an obedient wife I\nfelt bound to believe him. It was, of course, no pleasure to him to pay\nhis addresses to an interesting young girl; it was no anxiety to be with\nher which made him hasten away to the damsel\u2019s house of an evening. Oh,\ndear, no! it was pure principle, love for the kingdom of God, and \u201ca\nvery _painful_ task!\u201d He seemed, however, to bear it remarkably well,\nand manifested a zeal which was perfectly astonishing to me, considering\nthe circumstances. In fact, I felt it my duty to restrain him a little\nfor the sake of his health, for he seemed so anxious to perform his\n\u201ctask\u201d properly that he could scarcely spare time to take his meals;\nbut, regardless of his own feelings, he did not pay much attention to my\nsuggestions.\n\nBut, deeply as I sympathized with my husband, there were times when I\nfelt that mine was indeed no imaginary sorrow, and that nothing could\nlull the storm that had gathered in my breast. The affliction which\nI had so long dreaded was now right at my door, and the most painful\nfeelings agitated my mind. Sometimes I shut myself up in my own room\nand tried to reason with myself; then I would kneel, and pray, and weep\nwith passionate emotion; and again I would pace the floor, my heart\noverflowing with anger and indignation. I never, at that time, knew\nwhat it was to be happy, for I felt that I was a burden and hindrance\nto my husband, and I longed to die. I had loved him so devotedly that I\ncould not even now cast him from my heart, and, though I felt bitterly my\nposition, I believed that he would not willingly wound me, and that he\nwas acting from the purest of motives. But it was all in vain. I could\nnot change my nature, and my heart would rebel.\n\nIt would be impossible for me to tell the thousand annoyances and\nindignities to which I was forced to submit\u2014trials which might appear too\ntrifling even to name, but which to a wife, under such circumstances,\nwere crosses which she found it hard enough to bear. My husband knew\nnothing of these things, and, had he done so, it is more than probable\nthat he would have considered it weakness in me to be troubled about\nmatters of such small consequence\u2014little actions and foolish words which\nhe would have said I ought to have treated with contempt. It was easy\nto say that, but not so easy to do. Let any wife picture to herself\nhow she would feel, if, after schooling her heart to submission, after\nrealizing that she was no longer to be first and dearest in her husband\u2019s\naffections, she were to be constantly hearing the friends and relations\nof the young girl to whom her husband was engaged, boasting of his\ndevotion to her, and openly expressing their belief that he had never\nloved before! How would any wife be pleased if, whenever her husband\u2019s\nintended received a valuable present from him, she were particularly\ninformed of the fact, and a thousand little aggravating details were\nadded to make her, if possible, more miserable?\n\nA woman can nerve herself to endure almost anything, and outwardly she\nmay conceal her feelings, but there are limits beyond which endurance\nis not possible. A chance meeting with the girl who has superseded her\nin her husband\u2019s love,\u2014or worse still, should she chance to surprise\nthe affectionate couple _t\u00eate-\u00e1-t\u00eate_,\u2014is sufficient to dispel all her\ngood resolutions and to destroy that tranquillity of mind which she\nfinds it so difficult to preserve. She becomes sick at heart, nervous,\nand entirely unfitted for her duties. I have frequently heard Mormon\nwomen say that, notwithstanding their husbands had been for many years\npolygamists, they could never see the other wives without a feeling of\nanger and indignation arising in their hearts. I know that in my own case\nI never became reconciled to the system.\n\nMy husband was called away to the Eastern States upon business, and his\nmarriage was postponed. I thought that the present would be a good time\nto show her some little attentions, which I believed it was my duty to\ndo. The idea of coming in contact with her was certainly not at all\npleasant; but I felt that it was only right for me to act in a friendly\nmanner towards her, however painful it might be. She was the cause of\nmuch sorrow to me, but I could not blame her, for she had been born and\nbrought up in the system, and, of course, supposed it true.\n\nBelinda was a very nice girl, and, under other circumstances, I believe\nI should have liked her very much. I looked upon her as little more than\na child, and my husband has frequently told me that he also regarded her\nin that light; but to me it was of small consequence that he thought of\nher as a child, so long as he acted towards her as a woman. Now that\nhe was away from home, there was no danger that she would meet him,\nso I invited her in a friendly way to call upon me. She came, and I\nhad one or two other ladies present, for I was not like my husband in\nthat particular\u2014_I_ had no anxiety to be alone with her. My effort to\ncultivate a friendly feeling towards her was not very successful. There\nwas a coldness and restraint on both sides which we could not overcome,\nand I felt not a little relief when the evening was over. Subsequently I\nrenewed the attempt, but to no purpose; her very presence in my house,\nand among my children, seemed in itself an insult to me.\n\nDuring my husband\u2019s absence my poor friend Carrie Grant had been daily\ngrowing worse in health. I had once asked my husband if there was any\ntruth in the rumours that I had heard of his attachment to her, but he\nhad assured me that there was no foundation for them.\n\nPoor Carrie! Hers was a short and unhappy life; even her little dream of\nlove was overclouded by disappointment. She was now constantly confined\nto her room, and whenever it was possible I used to call upon her, and\nattempted to make her feel more happy and cheerful. She used to ask me to\ntalk with her about Mormonism. \u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cthat I have never\nknown any other religion, and I believe that this is right, though it\ndoes not make me happy. My father loved Mormonism so much that I feel it\n_must_ be right; the fault is in my own evil nature, that does not bend\nto the will of Heaven.\u201d\n\nOne day she said to me: \u201cI am getting worse, Sister Stenhouse, and I am\nglad of it, for I shall die. I am of no good here\u2014there is nothing for me\nto do; if I lived, I should only cause trouble; it is better as it is.\u201d\n\n\u201cCarrie,\u201d I said, \u201cyou must not talk like that. You are still very young,\nand probably will live for many years, and you do not know what future\nmay lie before you.\u201d\n\n\u201cDo not blame me too much,\u201d she replied, \u201cfor I am not the only unhappy\ngirl in the city. I know many girls who are very miserable. Married women\nthink that they are the only ones who suffer, while we girls know that\nnowhere upon the face of the earth can be found such an unhappy set as we\nare. Why did Brigham Young keep me from going to my friends in the East?\nI should have been happier then; I should have felt better. But now I\nwant to die, and I am weary waiting for death.\u201d\n\nIn this melancholy mood I found her one day, when she appeared\nparticularly sad. She had been ill then about ten months; but her loving\nblue eyes were just as bright as ever, and I could see very little change\nin her, except that she was not able now to leave her couch without\nassistance, and she spoke as if it fatigued her very much. It was quite\nimpossible to arouse her from the state of melancholy into which she had\nfallen, and it seemed to me that she could not last long. I offered to\ntake her to my house, and said I would nurse her there and take care of\nher; but she said she was very kindly treated by her father\u2019s family, and\ndid not wish to change. She seemed to cling to me as if she could not\nbear that I should leave her, and she told me she had something on her\nmind that troubled her; she wanted to have a long talk with me about it,\nbut not that day, she said.\n\nAs the end was fast approaching, she one day said: \u201cI want to tell you\nnow, Sister Stenhouse, what I spoke of before, if you are willing to\nlisten and will not be angry with anything I say. Remember, I am dying,\nor I never would speak to you as I am going to.\u201d\n\nI told her of my great love for her, and that nothing that she could say\nwould change that love.\n\n\u201cYou do not know what I want to ask you, or you would not say so,\u201d she\nreplied; \u201cand I so dread to lose your love that I am afraid to tell you\nwhat is in my mind. But you know that I am dying, and you will not be\nvery hard with me.\u201d\n\nShe was then silent for some time, as if too much fatigued to continue\nthe conversation. \u201cNo, I cannot tell you to-day,\u201d she said at last; \u201cI\nwant you to love me one day longer.\u201d\n\nI urged her not to doubt that my love towards her could never change,\nand told her that it was better for her to speak at once and relieve her\nmind. She took my hand, and looked long and tenderly at me, and then she\nsaid: \u201cI will tell you all; and if your love can stand that test, then\nindeed you _do_ love me.\u201d\n\nI encouraged her, and she began: \u201cWould you hate me if I told you that I\nloved your husband?\u201d\n\n\u201cNo,\u201d I replied, \u201cI would not hate you, Carrie.\u201d I said no more, for it\nseemed to me that it would be wrong of me to tell her of my suspicions,\nand all that I had suffered at the thought that my husband had conceived\nan affection for her.\n\n\u201cCan you possibly answer me as calmly as that?\u201d she said. \u201cI thought that\nthe very mention of such a thing would almost kill you, for I saw how\nmuch you loved your husband, and, ah! how I have suffered at the thought\nof telling you! But that is not all I wanted to say, or I need never have\nspoken to you at all. I wanted to ask you to do me one last kindness,\nand then I think I shall die happy. You know that we have been taught\nthat Polygamy is absolutely necessary to salvation, and if I were to die\nwithout being sealed to some man I could not possibly enter the celestial\nkingdom. My friends wished me to be sealed to one of the authorities of\nthe Church, but I cannot bear the idea of being sealed to a man whom I do\nnot love. I love your husband, and I want you to promise that I shall be\nsealed to him. If I had thought that I should recover, I never would have\nlet you know this, for I would not live to give you sorrow. But, when I\nam gone, will you kneel by your husband\u2019s side in the Endowment House,\nand be married to him for me? Will it pain you much to do that for me,\nSister Stenhouse?\u201d\n\nI felt so strangely as I listened to all this, that I could not utter a\nsingle word, and she continued: \u201cWe shall then be together in eternity,\nand I am happy at the thought of that, for I think I love you even\nbetter than I love him. And then I believe we shall have overcome all\nour earthly feelings and shall be prepared to live that celestial law,\nand perhaps we may prefer it, for no doubt we shall know no unhappiness\nthere.\u201d\n\nThe exertion of talking seemed to be too much for her, and she remained\nsilent for some time. I felt ashamed that I had allowed my feelings to\ninfluence me at such a moment, for while she had been speaking I had\nallowed my thoughts to travel back over the past year; and now that she\nadmitted her love for my husband, very many circumstances came painfully\nto my recollection and confirmed all that she said. I resolved, however,\nnot to question her, but to allow her to tell me just what she pleased.\nSo I knelt down by her side and whispered into her ear a solemn promise\nthat I would do all that she desired. Poor girl! how I felt for her!\nWhen I had given her this pledge, she appeared much relieved and told me\nfreely all that had passed between my husband and herself, and she said\nshe had left my house simply because she could not endure to cause me any\nsorrow. I told her of my husband\u2019s contemplated marriage with Belinda\nPratt, and she appeared a good deal troubled at it. \u201cLet me be second,\u201d\nshe said, \u201cfor then I shall feel that I am nearer to you, and I want you\nalways to think that, when you die, if I have the power, I shall be the\nfirst to meet you and take you by the hand.\u201d\n\nThus we talked together for a long time, and it was with painful interest\nthat I listened to what she said. It was a singular interview\u2014a wife\nreceiving from a young girl the confession that she loved her husband;\nthat he had fully returned her affection, and had even talked with her\nabout marriage; the girl requesting the wife to be married for her to her\nown husband; and the wife, full of tender love towards the girl, freely\ngiving her a promise that she would do so. In my sorrow at parting from\nher, and the great affection that I felt towards her, all feelings of\njealousy were utterly forgotten. Before I left I said: \u201cCarrie, whether\nyou live or die, you shall be married to my husband, if he ever enters\ninto Polygamy; and I say this although I do not doubt that he will do so,\nand at the same time I think that you will live.\u201d\n\nI really believed that she might recover; for now this burden was off\nher mind, I thought she would have strength to subdue her sickness, and\nat first it seemed as if this would really be the case. The next day she\nappeared so much better that her friends all became hopeful, and when I\ntold her that I had written to my husband and had told him, that since he\nhad made up his mind to go into Polygamy, I wished him to marry her, she\nappeared so happy, and showed her joy in so many innocent ways, that I\ncould not be angry.\n\n\u201cHow do you think he will feel,\u201d she said, \u201cwhen he gets your letter? Do\nI look pretty well to-day? And do you think that if I continue to get\nbetter I shall have regained my looks before he comes home?\u201d\n\n\u201cOh,\u201d I said, humouring her, \u201cyou will look quite pretty by the time he\nreturns; I shall be really jealous of you.\u201d\n\nIn an instant the thought of how much all mention of her in connexion\nwith my husband must be painful to me, occurred to her mind, and she\nbegged me to forgive her for her carelessness. \u201cNo,\u201d said she, \u201cI will\ntry never to give you pain, and you must always love me.\u201d\n\nFor some days this improvement in her appearance continued, and I thought\nand hoped that we should soon have her round again. I really wished her\nto live now, for if it was absolutely necessary that Mr. Stenhouse _must_\npractise Polygamy, I would prefer that, rather than any other woman, he\nshould marry her, for I felt that she would understand me as no one else\ncould.\n\nThus, after all, I really had selected a second wife for my husband!\n\nBut the change in poor Carrie\u2019s looks was altogether deceptive. News came\nto me one morning that she was very much worse, and I hastened to see\nher. As I entered the room, her eyes brightened, and she said: \u201cI am glad\nthat you have come, Sister Stenhouse, for I feel that I am going soon.\u201d\nThen, after a pause, she added, holding up her hands\u2014\u201cDo you know what\nthat means?\u201d The fingernails were turning blue.\n\n\u201cThat means death,\u201d she said; \u201cand it is better so.\u201d\n\nAfter this we conversed together for some time upon various topics of\nspecial interest to her in the position in which she then was, and\npresently she said, as if asking a question, \u201cYou will keep your promise,\nI know.\u201d\n\n\u201cCarrie,\u201d I answered, \u201cif there is anything that I can say or do that\nwill make you feel more certain that I will keep my promise, if I live to\ndo so, tell me, and I will do it.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am afraid,\u201d she said, \u201cthat, after all, he never loved me. He pitied\nmy lonely situation and was so kind and good to me, that I learned to\nlove him, and those meddlesome sisters tried to get him to marry me, but\nI would not be false to you. Then we both thought it was best not to tell\nyou, as it would make you grieve, although it never could take place.\nEven now, had I not known that I was dying, I never would have told you.\nBut you will not love me less when you think of me after I am gone?\u201d\n\nI told her that my affection for her would never change, and I talked\nwith her, and tried to soothe her dying moments, and to make her feel\nless lonely; and thus the morning passed away. In the afternoon she was\nsilent and apparently unconscious, and before another day dawned she had\npassed away to her rest.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXI.\n\nMARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD\u2014ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY\u2014THE NEW WIFE.\n\n\nThe following evening I went round again to the house, to gaze once more\nat the form of my dear friend. She was lying in her coffin, dressed for\nthe grave, and I looked at her long and tenderly as she rested sleeping\nthere. Her features were peaceful and natural as if in slumber; an\nexpression of calm tranquillity hovered around her countenance, and\nin the repose of death she seemed almost happy. Poor girl! her life\nhad been short indeed, and she had known but little pleasure; but I\nbelieved that she was now beyond the reach of earthly sorrow and earthly\ndisappointment, happy in that land where suffering and tears are all\nunknown. \u201cThere shall be no night there,\u201d the Lord of that other life had\nsaid. Sorrow and sighing shall flee away from that bright and glorious\nland; and the grief and pain, which on earth are the portion of so many\ntried and weary hearts, shall find no entrance into that eternal rest\nwhich our Father in heaven has prepared for us beyond the floods of death.\n\nOh, better far! I thought, it is that thus she should pass away. True,\nshe has seen but little of life, and has not tasted many of its joys;\nbut, as a compensation, how much has she been spared! She was so gentle\nand so sensitive, so unfit to battle with the stern realities of\nexistence, that I felt she had gained rather than lost in being taken\naway in the morning of her life.\n\nI now expected very soon to be called upon to undergo the most painful\nordeal that any wife can be required to pass through: I was to give my\nhusband another wife\u2014such is the sacrifice demanded of every Mormon woman.\n\nThe thought of doing this was worse than death to me. I felt injured,\nhumiliated and degraded by it, and yet I still tried to believe that it\nwas the will of God, and must therefore be right. To me, this outrage\nupon all the purest feelings of womanhood seemed more like the will of\nmen\u2014men of the basest and most unholy passions. It was repulsive to me in\nwhatever form it was presented, but still I reproached my own rebellious\nheart for feeling so, for I had been told that the ways of the Lord were\npast finding out, and, however unlike Him this Revelation might appear,\nwe Mormon women had been taught that it was our duty to bend our wills\nand to suffer in unquestioning and uncomplaining silence.\n\nAs the time approached, I felt like a condemned criminal awaiting the day\nof execution. A sense of apprehension, a dread of coming evil, was ever\npresent to my mind, and everything appeared to me through the medium of\nmy griefs. To a certain extent, my husband also suffered, for it would be\nimpossible, I think, for any man to see his wife suffering so intensely\nwithout feeling for her, and I sometimes believed that his sympathy for\nme was so great, that, if he had dared, he would even then have refused\nto obey the counsel of the Priesthood.\n\nThen, too, he had a little trouble of his own, for he began to realize\nthat this innovation upon the sanctity of our home would make a great\nchange in his future\u2014his freedom would be gone.\n\nHowever gratifying it may be to a man\u2019s feelings to know that there is\nno limit to his privileges, and that he is always at liberty\u2014no matter\nhow many wives he may already possess\u2014to fall in love with every pretty\ngirl he meets, and marry her if she consents; yet every intelligent man\nmust be conscious that it can be no easy matter to keep peace between\nmany wives in one house, and that, if he wishes to act rightly by all, he\nmust train himself to be scrupulously just, never showing any partiality\nin look or deed, or even by a word. There are many such men among the\nMormons. They are conscientious and good men, who try to live their\nreligion, but who at the same time desire to act kindly towards their\nwives. My husband began to realize the great responsibility that he was\nabout to take upon himself, and, seeing his thoughtful and troubled look,\nI tried to hide my own feelings; for every true wife knows that nothing\nso powerfully arouses a woman to struggle with her own sorrows as the\nknowledge that her husband is unhappy.\n\nThe dreaded day at length arrived, the day which for so long, and\nwith such painful forebodings, I had anticipated. I had spent a very\nwakeful and unhappy night, and felt very sick and nervous, for I was\nabout to become a mother, and my health was anything but strong. I\nhardly felt as if I should have courage to go through that day. I was,\nhowever, compelled to nerve myself to the task, and I began to make my\npreparations for going to the Endowment House. The only thing that gave\nme strength was the thought that my husband had consented that I should\ngo through the ceremony of being married to him that day for Carrie; for\neven then I supposed that those who would be married in heaven must first\nbe married on earth, and that, too, by those who had received authority\nfrom on high.\n\nEver since I had first embraced Mormonism I had been entirely cut off\nfrom Gentile society, although living in the Gentile world. Abroad, and\nalso when in New York, the cares of a family kept me very much at home,\nand the continual state of apprehension in which I was rendered me averse\nto visiting among friends. Thus it was that I never conversed freely with\nany one who could have informed me truthfully of the origin of Mormonism,\nand consequently I brooded over my religion as a melancholy fact; but,\nthough with moments of weakness and wavering, I never thoroughly doubted\nits divine origin. The terrible sacrifice which was about to be required\nof me might, I thought, be painful to make, but it was no less the will\nof God. I must submit, whatever the effort might cost me.\n\nThe morning was bright and lovely\u2014a morning calculated to inspire happy\nhopes and pleasant feelings; but to me it brought nothing but fear and\ntrembling. Even the innocent prattle of my children annoyed me, and they,\nnot knowing how deeply I was suffering, looked at me with wonder in\ntheir eyes. Oh, I thought, surely my husband will at length comprehend\nthe greatness of the love I bear him? surely he will now appreciate the\nsacrifice I make for his sake and for my religion? Even now, if I did\nnot know that he believes this doctrine to be true, and he would feel\ncondemned if, through any opposition of mine, he were not allowed to\npractise it, I would at the last moment dash this bitter cup from my lips\nand take my chance of the consequences in a future state!\n\nUtterly cast down and broken-hearted, I felt almost as if the Lord\nHimself had forsaken me, and there was no one to whom I could look for\naid. I could not go to my husband in that hour for sympathy; for I well\nknew that his thoughts must be with his intended bride, and that my\nsorrows would only trouble him at a time when he must desire to be at\npeace. Besides which, I was too proud to plead for love at a shrine\nthat I felt should rightfully be all my own. And then, too, I knew not\nbut what he might tell _her_ of my feelings; and it would be too great a\nhumiliation for me should she think me jealous of the position which she\nnow occupied, and her influence over my husband.\n\nWith such feelings I went to the Endowment House. There at the altar I\nwas to give proof of my obedience and of my faith in my religion, by\nplacing the hand of the new wife in that of my husband. The thought was\nalmost madness. To have followed my husband to the grave would have been\na terrible blow to me, but to live to see him the husband of another\nwoman was something that seemed to me beyond endurance. Notwithstanding\nevery effort of faith, doubts would arise, and in bitterest anguish I\nthought\u2014this is more like the work of cruel man than of God. Why should\nman have this power over woman, and she so helpless? Surely a just and\nimpartial God can have nothing to do with this! There was a darkness\nbefore my eyes, and, struggle as I might, I could see no ray of light\u2014no\nglimmering of hope.\n\nFirst, my husband was married to Miss Pratt; and then to me for Carrie!\nThus I fulfilled my pledge to my departed friend. I had found, before\ngoing to the Endowment House, that I could not have Carrie sealed to my\nhusband next to me, for Belinda had objected, and her mother had appealed\nto Brigham Young about it. They told me that he had said that the living\nhad claims before the dead, although my own feelings would have led me\nto think otherwise. Brigham Young performed the ceremony. He sat at the\nend of the altar and we three knelt down\u2014my husband on one side, and Miss\nPratt and myself on the other. Speaking to me, Brigham Young asked: \u201cAre\nyou willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful wife for\ntime and for all eternity? If you are, you will signify it by placing her\nright hand within the right hand of your husband.\u201d\n\nI did so; but what words can describe my feelings? The anguish of a whole\nlifetime was crowded into that one single moment. The painful meaning\nof those words, \u201cfor all eternity,\u201d withered my soul, and the unending\ncontract which my husband had made with another woman was practically a\ndivorce from me. I had now laid everything upon the altar of sacrifice,\nfor I had given away my husband. What more could the Lord require of me\nthat I was not prepared to do?\n\n[Illustration: THE CRISIS OF A LIFE\u2014ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY.\n\n_To face p. 296._]\n\nI was bewildered and almost beside myself, and yet I had to hide my\nfeelings. Hope was for ever banished from my life. To whom could I\nlook for sympathy among those who were around me? They were most of\nthem men who had ruthlessly wrecked the lives and lacerated the hearts\nof hundreds of women before my turn came, and the sight of an unhappy\nwife was so common in their experience that it was more likely to awaken\ntheir anger than their pity. I felt this instinctively, and I resolved\nthat they should never know how much my poor heart was torn. My husband,\nit is true, was there. _My_ husband! Was he not now the husband of\nanother woman, and therefore no longer belonging to me? I knew that I\nnever could overcome my early teaching sufficiently to _feel_ that this\nwas right, though such was my wretched fanaticism that I mentally and\nverbally assented to it. I felt that now I stood alone\u2014our union was\nsevered, there could never be any copartnership between that other wife\nand myself\u2014no, never! Salvation or no salvation, it was impossible that I\ncould ever love her. From that day I began to hide all my sorrows from my\nhusband, and it was but very seldom that I uttered a word of discontent,\nand when I expressed what I felt, it was in anger; but never in sorrow\nseeking sympathy.\n\nI remember when we returned home\u2014that home which had now lost its charm,\nfor the young wife was to live there\u2014my husband said to me: \u201cYou have\nbeen very brave, but it is not so hard to bear, after all, is it?\u201d I had\nhidden my feelings so well that he really thought that I was indifferent.\nBut during the remainder of the day, how I watched their looks and\nnoticed every word! To me their tender tones were daggers, piercing my\nheart and filling me with a desire to revenge myself upon the father of\nmy children. Oh, what fanatics we Mormon women have been ever to have\nbelieved for a single moment that a just and loving Father and God would\nhave given a command that in almost every instance has produced such\nfearful results upon those who should have been happy wives and mothers,\nand consequently upon their children! Indeed, even then it made me feel\nthat there was no justice in heaven, if this love which is the best part\nof woman\u2019s nature\u2014this love that we had always believed was a part of\ndivinity itself\u2014this principle, without which there would be nothing\nworth living for\u2014if this was to be our greatest curse, and the woman\nwho showed herself most actuated by this gentle influence was to be the\ngreatest victim.\n\nI felt that day that if I could not get away by myself alone and give\nexpression to my overcharged feelings, I should certainly lose my reason.\nI was utterly miserable. It was only in the dead of night, in my own\nchamber, that I gave way to the terrible anguish that was consuming me.\nGod and my own soul can alone bear witness to what I suffered in that\ntime of woe. That night was to me such as even the most God-forsaken\nmight pray never to know; and morning dawned without my having for a\nmoment closed my eyes.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXII.\n\nDOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS OF THE SAINTS:\u2014POLYGAMY FROM A WOMAN\u2019S STANDPOINT.\n\n\nI was now to realize personally, in my own home life, what Polygamy\nactually was. Hitherto I had observed how other women suffered, and how\nother men treated their wives; but now the painful reality had come to my\nown door, and I was to experience the effects of the system upon myself,\nand, instead of noting the conduct of other men, I should be able to\nobserve the change which Polygamy might work in my own husband.\n\nHow little do the Mormon men know what it is in the truest sense to have\n_a_ wife, though they have so many \u201cwives\u201d after their own fashion!\nAlmost imperceptibly to the husband, and even to the wife herself, a\nbarrier rises between them from the very day that he marries another\nwoman. It matters not how much she believes in the doctrine of plural\nmarriage, or how willing she may be to submit to it, the fact remains\nthe same. The estrangement begins by her trying to hide from him all her\nsecret sorrows; for she feels that what has been done cannot be undone\nnow, and she says: \u201cI cannot change it; neither would I if I could,\nbecause it is the will of God, and I must bear it; besides, what good\nwill it do to worry my husband with all my feelings? He cannot help me;\nand is he not another woman\u2019s husband?\u201d Then comes, perhaps, the painful\nthought, \u201cI have no longer any desire to confide in him.\u201d Or it may be\nthat she detects some familiarity between her husband and the other wife;\nand she feels bitterly towards both, for, strive as she may, human nature\ncannot be altogether crushed out.\n\nThat was a time of great misery to me, much as I tried to control my\nfeelings. Day by day I strove to hide from my heart even the knowledge\nof my own unhappiness; and when I could no longer endure, I would lock\nmyself in my room and give vent to the anguish that was consuming me. I\nrealized, however, that this continual conflict of feeling was unfitting\nme for my duties. Everything was becoming a trial to me. I could not\nbear to be spoken to; the prattle of my children, that had always been\nso dear to me, was now discordant to my feelings; and all their little\nquestionings were irksome. I determined that this should no longer be\nthe case; I would battle with my own heart; I would henceforth devote my\nwhole life\u2014worthless as that life appeared to have become\u2014to the welfare\nof my little ones. This was a conclusion that hundreds of wretched Mormon\nwives have arrived at; and when this is the case, there is some hope for\nthem. But many give way to despair, and go down broken-hearted to their\ngraves.\n\nHow terribly these Mormon men deceive themselves! When peace, or rather\nquiet, reigns in their homes, they think that the Spirit of God is there.\nBut it is not so. It is a calm not like the gentle silence of sleep,\nbut as the painful stillness of death\u2014the death of the heart\u2019s best\naffection and all that is worth calling love. All _true_ love has fled,\nand indifference has taken its place. The very children feel it. What do\nthey, what can they, care about their father, whom they so seldom see?\n\nSome wives, afraid of creating a prejudice against themselves and of\nbeing forsaken altogether, deceive their husbands, and make them believe\nthat they are satisfied. It must be admitted that, in acting thus, these\nwives are not always actuated by a fear of losing the society or love of\ntheir husbands, for, in Polygamy, love dies a natural death; but it is\ngalling to a woman\u2019s pride to have it said that she has been cast off for\nanother. Then, too\u2014and some women would consider this the most important\nreason of all\u2014the best provision is usually made for the home where the\nhusband stops most frequently; and the wife, if not for her own sake, at\nleast for her children\u2019s, will be anxious to have a well-provided house.\nThis is only natural. The \u201cdivine\u201d plan has always been worked out in a\nvery human way.\n\nWhen a man has several wives, there is, of course, no necessity for him\nto stay with an unhappy or mopish one, as he can always find a more\npleasant reception elsewhere. Men who can really believe that women are\nsatisfied and happy under such a system must be entirely ignorant of\nhuman nature.\n\nWhen a man has more than one wife, his affections must of necessity be\ndivided; he really has no home in the truest sense of the word; his\nhouses are simply boarding-places. Should he have all his wives in one\nhouse, as is often the case, they are then all slaves to the system;\neach one is watching the others, and they know it\u2014trying to discover\nsomething that can be secretly told to the husband to draw away his\naffections from the rest. What more miserable position could be imagined?\n\nThere is, however, no fixed principle regulating Mormon men in the\nmanagement of their families; every one is at liberty to do as he thinks\nbest, and scarcely two families are governed alike. When Salt Lake City\nwas first settled, the people had to live as best they could, and a man\nwas glad to get even one roof under which he and all his wives might\nbe sheltered. Now, when the husband is wealthy, he generally provides\nseparate homes for his wives. Some wealthy men, however, still have all\ntheir wives and families together.\n\nI have in my mind, as I write, a very prominent Mormon, who has\nhalf-a-dozen wives; and he divides his time among them after this\nfashion. The first week he stays with the first wife; the next week he\nis with the second; then he goes back to the first. The fourth week he\npasses with the third wife; then he returns for another week to the\nfirst. And thus he continues to give one week to the first wife, and the\nnext to one of the other five in turn, until he has blessed them all with\nhis presence. Now, it would at a casual glance appear that this first\nwife has by far the largest share of her husband\u2019s society; but if the\ntruth must be told, it must be admitted that the husband is not quite so\ngenerous as he appears. The last wife of this good man is a young and\npretty girl, and she lives with the first wife, and thus his devotion to\nthe latter is rewarded by the presence of the former. Each of the other\nwives has one week of his society and attentions in every eleven\u2014about\nfive weeks apiece of companionship with their husband in the course of\na whole year. Other men with the same number of wives pass constantly\nbetween one house and another; they can never be found when wanted; their\nlives are one eternal round, and they may be said to have no real abiding\nplace.\n\nIn every settlement in Utah, long, low-roofed houses may be seen with a\nrow of doors and windows alternating. Even in Salt Lake City, much as\nit has changed of late years, such houses may still be found. To every\ndoor and window there is, of course, a wife; and the furniture of her\nroom consists of a bed, three chairs, and a table. Then, if the man is a\nvery devout Mormon and wishes to increase his kingdom by adding another\nwife to the inhabitants of the long many-doored house, a waggon-box is so\narranged as to form a sleeping apartment for the new comer; or, what is\nmore likely, one of the old wives is put into the waggon-box, and the new\none takes her place.\n\nA house with two wings is rather a favourite style with those men, who,\nto silence their conscience and the priesthood, conclude to take \u201cjust\n_one_ extra wife,\u201d and no more. The wives, with their children, occupy,\nrespectively, each a wing; and the entrance-door opens into a parlour,\nwhich serves as a reception-room for both families. The husband in this\ncase spends a week on one side of the house and a week on the other,\nalternately; and thus, by an impartial division of his attentions,\nhe preserves peace in his family. A man who is comfortably off can,\nof course, arrange his domestic affairs so as to avoid, as far as is\npossible, the inconveniences of the system, but a poor man is forced to\nsubmit to circumstances. Many men have entered into Polygamy, with two,\nthree, and even four wives, all, with their children, living together\nunder one roof\u2014in one room\u2014in the most disgraceful and barbarous manner;\nbut even for this the leaders were really more to blame than the poor\ndeluded men themselves; for the command to \u201cBuild up the Kingdom!\u2014build\nup the Kingdom!\u201d\u2014in other words, take many wives and raise up large\nfamilies\u2014has been so constantly and imperatively insisted upon that good\nsense and propriety have at last been entirely overlooked.\n\n[Illustration: POLYGAMY IN LOW LIFE\u2014THE POOR MAN\u2019S FAMILY.\n\nPOLYGAMY IN HIGH LIFE\u2014THE PROPHET\u2019S MANSION.\n\n_To face p. 302._]\n\nIn a very large house, with many wives, there is greater safety and peace\nfor the husband than in a small house with only two wives. When there\nare only two apartments, the husband, if not in one, is supposed to be\nin the other, and the neglected wife frequently expresses her opinion of\nher rival in the opposite room in very powerful language. Scenes may be\nwitnessed in such households which are too shocking to disclose. Brigham\nYoung was conscious of this when he said he \u201cwould stand no more fighting\nand scratching around him\u201d; and yet, in the face of all this, he dares to\ntell the people that this is the \u201cOrder of _Celestial_ Marriage.\u201d With\nmany wives living together in a large house there are many advantages.\nThe whereabouts of the husband is not so easily discovered, and the\nunhappy or jealous wife is at a loss to know upon whom to vent her\nire. On this account even men with small means prefer to have three\nwives instead of two, as each wife, not knowing which of the other two\nshe ought to hate the most, divides her jealousy. It takes, however,\na wise man to know how to live in Polygamy, so as to balance all the\nconflicting interests and obtain a little peace, if happiness is out of\nthe question.\n\nWhere the husband is a rich man and has abundant wealth wherewith to\nsupply the wants of his numerous wives and children, and to furnish all\nthe necessary accommodation that a growing family demands, much of the\njealousy and ill-feeling inseparable from Polygamy can, to a certain\nextent, be avoided.\n\nIt would be quite impossible, with any regard to propriety, to relate all\nthe horrible results of this disgraceful system. It has debased the minds\nand degraded the lives of good and honest men and women, while those\nwho naturally had a tendency towards evil have become a hundred times\nworse. Marriages have been contracted between the nearest relatives;\nand old men tottering on the brink of the grave have been united to\nlittle girls scarcely in their teens; while unnatural alliances of every\ndescription, which in any other community would be regarded with disgust\nand abhorrence, are here entered into in the name of God, and under the\nsanction of a \u201cRevelation\u201d supposed to proceed from the pure and holy\nSaviour.\n\nI was much shocked and disgusted when first I went to Utah, to find a man\nwhom under other circumstances I had known in London, living with two\nsisters whom he had married in the manner I have just described, and,\nstrange as it may appear, it was not with them a matter of necessity.\nWhen I knew the husband in Europe, I considered him a man of education\nand refinement; but I certainly was mistaken, for no man whose nature was\nat all sensitive would have lived as he did. His wives, too, who had been\nconsidered highly respectable English girls, were not ashamed of their\ndegraded position; they professed to believe in bringing the world back\nto its primitive purity and innocence.\n\nIt is quite a common thing in Utah for a man to marry two and even three\nsisters. I was well acquainted with one man who married his half-sister,\nand I know several who have married mother and daughter. I know also\nanother man who married a widow with several children; and, when one of\nthe girls had grown into her teens, he insisted on marrying her also,\nhaving first by some means won her affections. The mother, however, was\nmuch opposed to this marriage, and finally gave up her husband entirely\nto her daughter; and to this very day the daughter bears children to her\nstep-father, living as wife in the same house with her mother!\n\nIn another instance, a well-known man in Salt Lake City, who has several\nwives and married daughters, married a young girl of fifteen years of age\nwhom his wife had adopted and brought up as her own.\n\nQuite a number of the leading Mormons have wives in the various\nsettlements; and this is very convenient to them if they have to travel\nmuch. If the wives are old and experienced, as wives who are sent into\nthe country generally are, they can then look after and manage a farm;\nand if they have growing boys, the farm can be worked upon a very\neconomical plan. The younger wives in the city can be supplied from them\nwith all the butter, cheese, vegetables, &c., that they require. It takes\nconsiderable shrewdness to manage women in such a way as to turn all\ntheir abilities to good account and to make them profitable.\n\nLet me ask the good brethren who read this to act for once impartially,\nand try to put themselves in a woman\u2019s place; and let me for their\nbenefit draw a little picture for them to contemplate.\n\nIt is evening, and the family are all assembled in their pleasant home\u2014a\nhome made happy by the kind and thoughtful care of a loving father. Peace\nand tranquillity dwell in every heart, and the father is happy in being\nsurrounded by his children, to whom he is fondly attached. He listens\nto the prattle of the little ones, or the music and songs of the elder\nchildren; and for a time he is forgetful of everything save the happiness\nof the hour.\n\nSuddenly his wife, the mother of his children, whom he dearly loves,\nrises from her seat beside the fire and retires to her own apartment.\nThere she arranges her toilet with irreproachable care, sees that every\nstraying curl is in its place, and gives every touch to her appearance\nwhich she thinks is likely to render her attractive in the eyes of a\nman. She now descends the stairs, ready to leave the home of this, her\nfirst husband, for she is going to see her second husband, or some young\nman to whom she has taken a fancy, and who she thinks would be suitable\nfor a third. She kisses her children good-bye, and is about to take an\naffectionate farewell of their father, when she suddenly discovers that\nhe is not looking happy. \u201cWhat is the matter now?\u201d she says; \u201cis not your\nhome a pleasant one? have I not taken pains to train your children in a\nproper manner, and have I not remained an hour longer than usual with\nyou? What folly it is for you to be moping in this way! this is not the\nway to live our religion, if we expect to get the blessing of God. You\nknow very well it is very painful for me to leave you and my children;\nbut we must be obedient to the commands of God, and I owe attentions to\nmy other husband as well as to you!\u201d\n\nCan any man be supposed who would for a moment endure such an outrage\nupon decency and common sense, such a violation of all that is sacred in\nthe human heart? And yet this is only reversing the case; and just as any\nMormon man can suppose he would feel, if the wife he loved were to act\nin the way I have described, so do Mormon wives feel, only as much more\nacutely, as women are more sensitive in their affections than men.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXIII.\n\nLIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF POLYGAMY\u2014MARRIAGE AND BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD.\n\n\nMy life was now one continued series of deceptions, as was also that of\nmy husband, and we began habitually to wear the mask when in each other\u2019s\npresence.\n\nIt may have been wrong, perhaps, but I confess that for my husband\u2019s\nintended bride I felt such a detestation that I could not endure her\npresence, although I knew that she was not to blame. I believed that I\nshould not have felt it so much if she had been a little older; but to\nhave a mere child placed on a level with me, and to be compelled to treat\nher with all the respect due to a wife, was so terribly humiliating to me\nthat at times I thought that I could not endure it another day. She, of\ncourse, expected to be treated with all the consideration which is proper\nto a wife, and to be consulted in everything by my husband, as a wife\nshould be. She was not, however, competent to undertake any household\nduties or wifely cares, and was herself an additional responsibility to\nme. Young and inexperienced as she was, she had everything to learn; but,\nat the same time, she stood so much upon her dignity that it was anything\nbut a pleasant task to teach her. It of course devolved upon me to\ninstruct her in everything, and I found it anything but a congenial task.\nI soon began to look upon her simply as a boarder, and expected nothing\nmore from her than I should if she had really been such.\n\nShe took very kindly to this position, and would spend her days in her\nown room, reading and otherwise amusing herself, and of course was always\npleasant and well-dressed to receive her husband. But this did not suit\n_me_. In fact I do not know what would have suited me at that time, for\nI was disposed to be displeased with everything. And yet a visitor to\nour house would, I have no doubt, have, said, \u201cHow very pleasantly those\ntwo wives get along together!\u201d This has been said of scores of women in\nUtah by casual observers\u2014Gentiles, who thought they \u201cunderstood\u201d the\nsystem. How little do they know the aching void and the bitter hatred\nwhich exists in the hearts of those wives\u2014the detestation which they have\nof one another! How little can they know, when everything is so carefully\nhidden, even from their husbands! It is a shameful thing that women,\nfaithful wives and mothers, should be placed in such a position.\n\nHow many times during the day have I been compelled to leave everything\nand rush to my chamber, and there on my bended knees supplicate for\nstrength to endure, thinking all the time that, in ordaining this\nRevelation, God had given us a burden greater than we could bear!\n\nThen in the evening, when we were assembled together in our cosy parlour,\nas we were wont to be, all traces that remained of the terrible struggle\nwhich I had endured were a sad countenance and perhaps the deepening\nlines upon my brow, which contrasted unpleasantly with the bright and\ncheerful face of the young wife, and made my husband feel that I was\ngetting very sour in my disposition, as indeed was probably the case.\n\nThings and actions, which at another time I should have considered\ntoo trifling to notice, had now a painful significance to me. On one\noccasion, not long after the wedding, my husband asked me to take a walk\nwith him, and I consented. Among the Mormons it is a custom to take\ntheir wives out together very frequently. Their object, I presume, is\nto display the \u201cjewels\u201d in their crowns before the eyes of their less\nfortunate brethren. I had resolved that I would never submit to this;\nif my husband would not take me out alone, I would stay at home. On the\noccasion I mention, when I came out of my room ready dressed, I found\nhim and his wife, Belinda, waiting and chatting pleasantly together,\nand looking unutterable love at each other\u2014at least, so I thought\u2014and I\nfelt greatly insulted and annoyed, and told them I did not wish to go.\nI carefully avoided showing any outbursts of temper before the young\nlady, which I thought would be undignified, for I desired at least that\nshe should respect me, though I did not want her love. If I had expected\nthat they would urge me to accompany them, I should have been greatly\nmistaken, for my refusal appeared to be just what they wanted. They\ntripped off together as light-hearted and happy as children, while I\nremained rooted to the spot, tearing my pocket-handkerchief to pieces,\nand wishing I could do the same with them.\n\nI used sometimes to wonder whether it would be the same in the Mormon\nheaven, where this Celestial Order of Marriage is expected to be carried\nout in all its fullness, and I felt troubled for myself. These dreadful\nfeelings would, I believed, be the ruin of my soul, and I thought it\nwas impossible for me to obtain salvation until I had entirely subdued\nthem\u2014and that I had not power yet to do. I had, however, so concealed\nwhat I felt, that my husband believed that I was becoming used to this\nnew life.\n\nDay after day my rebellious soul was agitated by the same troubled\nfeelings. There was no rest for me\u2014nothing upon which I could stay my\nmind. My husband was painfully aware that there was a coldness and\nrestraint existing between his young wife and myself, and I know that he\nwas grieved by it, for he had tried in every way to create a friendly\nfeeling between us. I felt, however, that it was utterly impossible that\nI could ever be affectionate towards his other wife, much as I might\nstrive. I would do my duty, but I could not love her, or, in fact, him\neither for that matter, when he was associated with her. I regret to be\nobliged to confess such a truth; but from that time, and as long as I\nremained in Mormonism, the sentiment that was uppermost in my mind was\nan utter detestation of the whole system. I despised myself for being\nthe abject slave that I was. Why could I not have the moral courage to\nset everything at defiance\u2014Revelation and all\u2014and free myself from the\nbondage that enthralled me?\n\nI know this day scores of women in Utah who think and feel exactly as I\ndid then, who suffer wrongs against which their hearts daily and hourly\nrebel, but who, like me, dread to cast aside the yoke of the oppressor.\n\nAt that time, in respect to pecuniary matters, we were very comfortably\noff. Almost immediately after our arrival in Utah, Mr. Stenhouse had\nfound employment on the staff of the _Deseret News_. Before long he\nobtained the appointment of postmaster for Salt Lake City, and before his\nmarriage with Miss Pratt he had started the _Telegraph_, the first daily\npaper that was ever published in Utah. From the beginning it had been\nremarkably successful; for Brigham had counselled the people to sustain\nit, knowing very well that he himself would in return be supported by\nmy husband. Brigham had no more devoted follower than Mr. Stenhouse was\nthen, for the scales had not yet fallen from his eyes, and he believed\nthe Prophet was really what he claimed to be\u2014a faithful servant of God.\nTrue, we had frequently talked together of his very mean actions; but\nmy too generous, or perhaps too credulous, husband had attributed all\nthat to the weakness of his human nature, and would not believe that\nit affected his priesthood. He therefore sustained him strongly and\nconsistently before the public; not for gain, for he had given too many\ninstances of his devotion to be suspected of that; but I may say from\npure attachment, for I know too well that at that time he was almost\nready to lay down his life for the sake of his religion.\n\nThe _Telegraph_ soon became the leading journal in Utah, and in a little\nwhile we were surrounded by every comfort and luxury which at that time\ncould be procured in Salt Lake City. No family in the Territory was\nbetter provided for than was ours, not excepting Brigham Young\u2019s. I had\nalways believed that if my husband were left alone, untrammelled by the\nChurch, to make his own way, he would do so successfully. In this I was\nnot mistaken. We now owned a fine dwelling-house, a valuable city lot and\nhouse, where the paper was printed, and also another very desirable lot,\nnear to Brigham Young\u2019s residence. This last lot was my own; it was very\nbeautifully situated, and we expended on it upwards of three thousand\ndollars. Everything that my husband undertook at that time seemed to\nprosper\u2014not excepting his love affairs.\n\nJust then a great deal was whispered privately about certain murders\nwhich had been committed, all knowledge of which was strenuously denied\nby the authorities. When any case was so notorious that it could not\npossibly be altogether hushed up, we were told that the murdered persons\nwere dangerous people, and had been killed in self-defence by those whom\nthey in the first instance had attacked.\n\nMy husband, like hundreds of others, was never in the confidence of the\nChurch authorities in these matters. He believed firmly in the divine\nmission of Joseph Smith, and shut his eyes to the actions of Brigham\nYoung, thinking that he alone would be responsible to the Lord for his\nmisdeeds. When I drew his attention to the inconsistency of Brigham\u2019s\nconduct, as on more than one occasion I did, he said we had enough to\ndo to look at home and see that we ourselves did what was right. This,\nof course, was true; but I thought, nevertheless, that a little more\nconsistency on Brigham\u2019s part would not be amiss.\n\nMy talkative friend called one day to speak of a very serious subject.\n\n\u201cI have come, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cto talk to you about a matter\nof great importance, but I don\u2019t want to offend you, and you must\npromise beforehand to forgive me.\u201d\n\nI readily promised, and she added: \u201cI thought I should find you very\nunhappy, Sister Stenhouse, about poor dear Carrie Grant, and I think if\nyou are so you deserve it, but I don\u2019t like you to be miserable, and so I\ncame to comfort you.\u201d\n\n\u201cBut, Sister Ann,\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be comforted in the way you\nseem to mean. I have been very sad indeed at losing Carrie; but you know\nI did everything I could for her, poor girl, and I have nothing to blame\nmyself for.\u201d\n\n\u201cNothing to blame yourself for?\u201d she exclaimed. \u201cWhy, Sister Stenhouse,\nyou have everything to blame yourself for. If poor Carrie has less glory,\nit is all your fault.\u201d\n\n\u201cHow so?\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cWhy,\u201d she answered, \u201cif you had not held back and expressed your\ndislike, Carrie would have married your husband, and would most likely\nhave been alive now. She would have had _her_ family, and would have\nadded to your husband\u2019s glory; while now, although she is your husband\u2019s\nwife, she has no children, and, of course, must have less glory in the\nKingdom.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, Sister Ann,\u201d I said, \u201cI never thought of it in that light. I\nloved Carrie very much, and I tried to make her love me. It was not\nuntil almost the last that I knew of her love for my husband; but if I\nhad known before, I am sure my own heart would have rebelled against my\nhusband taking another wife. I did, however, ask him to marry her, and\nafter she was dead I was married to him for her.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat\u2019s all very well, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she replied, \u201cbut for all that\nI think you have committed a great wrong against that poor orphan girl.\nYou ought to be thankful that at last you were able to repair a little\nof the mischief which you did. I don\u2019t want to vex you, but I am really\nsorry that you had such an antipathy to your husband having Carrie.\nHowever, I suppose, now he has really got another wife, you are not so\nmuch set against Polygamy. You must find it quite a blessing to have Miss\nPratt\u2014I beg pardon, I mean Mrs. Stenhouse number two\u2014with you now.\u201d\n\nI did not answer her, for I had my own opinion about the matter. She went\non without hesitation: \u201cWell, you must not be vexed with me, dear; I say\nit all for your good, you know; but I do wish you felt a little more as I\ndo about these matters. Why, do you know, I have been trying to show my\nfaith and zeal in every possible way ever since we came to Utah. It was\nonly last week I was baptized for Queen Anne.\u201d\n\n\u201cQueen Anne!\u201d I exclaimed. \u201cWhat can you possibly mean?\u201d\n\n\u201cExactly what I say, Sister Stenhouse; I was baptized for Queen Anne, and\nif you like I\u2019ll tell you all about it. It is only just what every one\nelse has been doing, only they were baptized for other people. I don\u2019t\nthink you\u2019ve ever thought much of this, and so I\u2019ll explain myself. You\nsee, Sister Stenhouse, the Elders teach us that the whole world is lying\nin darkness and sin, and has been so ever since the apostolic gifts were\nlost ages ago. Now there is no salvation outside the Church, and you may\nremember that Christ Himself went and preached to the miserable souls in\nParadise.\u201d\n\n\u201cIn Paradise?\u201d I said, \u201cwhy I thought that was a happy place.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, no, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cnot very happy. The souls of those\nwho have not heard the gospel, and have not been baptized, go there, and\nit\u2019s a sort of prison for them until they are brought out again through\nthe kindness of some believer. The thief on the cross went there, and\nChrist went there and preached to the spirits in prison; and when the\nElders die, they go on mission to Paradise and preach to them also. All\nyour people and my people, our fathers, and mothers, and grandfathers,\nand so on, right up to the apostolic times, are waiting in Paradise with\nmillions and millions of souls to be released and be admitted into the\nCelestial Kingdom. All the good brethren and sisters have been doing\ntheir best to get out their relations and friends, and I know many of\nthem who have sent over to England and have spent large sums of money in\ntracing their pedigrees and genealogies, in order to find out the right\nnames and to be baptized as proxies for the dead who owned those names.\nI have been baptized for a good many of my own relations, and I mean to\nbe baptized for scores more; and many of the brethren, too, have been\nmarried as proxies for their own friends, and for distinguished people\nbesides, so that they might be admitted into the Celestial Kingdom, and\nraise up patriarchal families of their own. The poor souls, if they were\nreleased from Paradise by a proxy baptism, could not, of course, have\nbeen married in heaven, as there is no giving in marriage there; so some\none was married for them as proxy to some one else, and now they can\nbegin to establish their own celestial kingdoms.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd have you been proxy in this way, Sister Ann?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cNo, and yes,\u201d she replied; \u201cI haven\u2019t yet been proxy in marriage for\nany one, but I was proxy in baptism. When we were children, I remember we\nused to have some rhymes about Queen Anne, and, as it was my own name,\nI always thought a great deal of her. It seemed to me that it would be\nvery nice, and at the same time very charitable, if I were to help her\nout of Paradise. It quite struck my fancy, for it was no small thing to\nhave a real queen thankful to you for so much. So I went and was baptized\nfor her, and now she is out of Paradise and has entered the Celestial\nKingdom. But that isn\u2019t all. There was my old friend, George Wilford,\nwho heard all about the matter, for I see him frequently, and he at once\nsaid that he would be baptized for Prince George of Denmark, Queen Anne\u2019s\nhusband, and he means to do so; and after that we\u2019ll be married by proxy\nfor them here on earth, and then they\u2019ll both be happy.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy, Sister Ann, what a droll idea!\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cSister Stenhouse,\u201d she replied, quite seriously, \u201cit\u2019s very wrong of you\nto talk so. Some of the best Saints have stood proxy in this way. There\nwas one lady who stood proxy for the Empress Josephine, and her son stood\nfor Napoleon, and some one else for Washington. Queen Elizabeth, too, has\nbeen baptized by proxy. And now Napoleon and Washington are both Mormon\nElders, and I suppose some one will be married for Queen Elizabeth, and\nshe\u2019ll enter into Polygamy. Do you know, Sister Stenhouse, there was one\nbrother who, out of pure kindness, said he would be baptized for the\nthief on the cross, for he supposed that no one else would take pity on\nhim, and a sister who was present said she would be baptized for his\nwife, if Brother Brigham thought he ever had one. I\u2019ve been persuading my\nHenry to be baptized for Henry the Eighth, for I\u2019m sure he needed baptism\nfor the remission of sins; and he\u2014I mean _my_ Henry\u2014has promised me to do\nso; but he says that he means to ask Brother Brigham first before he is\nmarried for him\u2014if ever he is\u2014as King Henry was almost a polygamist in\nhis way, and my husband thinks there is not much need to be married for\nhim at all.\u201d\n\n\u201cI can\u2019t help being amused,\u201d I said. \u201cOf course I have often heard of\nbeing baptized for the dead, and I know the Elders say that St. Paul\nspoke of it in one of his epistles, but I never thought of it in _that_\nlight; I always thought we should have to wait till the Temple was\nfinished.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat\u2019s true, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she replied; \u201call the marriages of all\nthe Saints\u2014of every one, in fact, on the face of the earth\u2014ought to be\nsolemnized in the Temple here in Salt Lake City, and every one ought to\nreceive their Endowments in it; but as it is not yet finished, the Lord\npermits us to be married, and everything else, in the Endowment House.\nBut you know yourself that there\u2019s a record kept, and that, when the\nTemple is finished, the ceremony will be all gone through with again.\nI\u2019ve heard it said that many of the Elders and their wives will live\nthere, and that day and night perpetually the ceremonies will be going\non. You ought to be baptized, however, _now_ for as many relations as you\ncan think of.\u201d\n\n\u201cI think I shall wait, Sister Ann,\u201d I said, \u201cuntil I can find a Queen\nFanny, and then I\u2019ll be baptized for her.\u201d\n\nShe did not like me saying this, for she evidently thought I was jesting.\nI was not jesting, however, but I felt greatly amused, for this peculiar\ndoctrine of the Saints had never struck me in such an odd light before.\nSister Ann was shocked at the way in which I viewed her strange stories,\nbut \u201cI\u2019ll come again in the course of a day or two, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d\nshe said, \u201cand put you all straight.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXIV.\n\nMY DAUGHTER BECOMES THE FOURTH WIFE OF BRIGHAM YOUNG\u2019S SON\u2014THE SECOND\nENDOWMENTS.\n\n\nAfter I had consented, and in reality had given my husband a second wife,\nmy _status_ in Mormon polygamic society was very considerably improved.\nFirst wives who lived in, and firmly believed, this \u201cOrder of Celestial\nMarriage,\u201d tried in every way to make me feel that I was one with them;\nand those who had not much faith felt more kindly towards me, because I\nhad been caught in the same snare with themselves.\n\nEvery polygamic wife, whether first, second, third, or tenth, no matter\nhow much or how little she may believe in \u201cCelestial Marriage\u201d\u2014no matter\nhow refined or how coarse and degraded her nature may chance to be\u2014must\nfeel that her position is inferior to that of a monogamic wife. On this\naccount, many of the Mormon women are never satisfied until they have\ndrawn every woman of their acquaintance down to their own level. The\ninfluence of this supposed \u201cRevelation\u201d is by no means elevating or\nrefining.\n\nI was now upon an equal footing with other first wives. They had,\ntherefore, no hesitation in confiding to me their griefs; and, situated\nas I was, I had abundant opportunities of hearing stories of cruelty,\nwrong, and suffering, under the \u201cCelestial\u201d system\u2014many of them so\nutterly revolting that I would not dream of relating them again. Polygamy\namong the Mormons is so full of disgusting and disgraceful details, that\na modest woman would not dare to relate all she knew. In this book I have\nendeavoured to be true to my title and to \u201c_tell all_,\u201d as far as such a\nthing is possible. But there are thousands of horrible incidents, which\nform part and parcel of the system of Polygamy, but which no woman who\nhad any respect for herself would think of putting upon paper.\n\nPrevious to the time when my husband took his second wife, although I\nhad learned too much, I had to a certain extent been kept in the dark\nrespecting some of the vile and loathsome practices of Polygamy; but\nafter that, by slow degrees, I was thoroughly initiated into the system.\n\nVisitors to Utah would perhaps notice in the faces of the Mormon wives\na dull, careworn, weary expression, altogether the reverse of that\ncontented look which is seen among \u201cGentile\u201d women. But those very women\nwould never disclose to the stranger the depth of that sorrow which is\nwearing away their lives. Some few, indeed, have been led to speak of\ntheir troubles; but they have afterwards found that the very persons in\nwhom they confided most distorted and exaggerated every word that they\nhad uttered, for the sake of making a good story for the press. In many\ncases the names of those who were thoughtless enough to expose their\nsorrows, together with little personal matters which should never have\nbeen made public, were put into print; and when the matter came before\nthe Church authorities, as in course of time it was certain to do, there\nwas a great deal of trouble and unpleasantness. Women, consequently,\nas a rule, tell nothing; and book-makers and people connected with the\npress, while they give to the world astonishing stories of what they\nhave heard, know really nothing of the truth. When a smart man, or a man\nconnected with the press, comes to Utah, the Church authorities take\nhim in hand at once. He is carried here and there, and treated with the\nutmost deference; a pair of Mormon spectacles is placed by Brigham, or\none of his numerous factotums, upon the visitor\u2019s eyes, and through them\nhe looks at all that transpires. Then comes a glowing account in the\npapers, or else apocryphal stories appear in the visitor\u2019s last new book;\nand unsophisticated people, who innocently suppose that all that is in\nprint must be true, begin to think that the stories of the evil-doing\nof the Prophet, which from time to time have crept out, were only\nscandalous reports, and that Brigham Young\u2014like somebody else who shall\nbe nameless!\u2014was, after all, not quite so black as he has been painted.\n\nA gentleman, who had for five years resided in Salt Lake City, said to\nme a few months ago: \u201cMrs. Stenhouse, when I had been here about three\nweeks, I thought that I knew enough of Mormonism to write a book; when I\nhad been here three months, I began to think that I did not know quite\nas much; and now, after five years, I have come to the conclusion that I\nreally know nothing at all. I have lived in a Mormon family for the past\nyear, but that has not increased my knowledge. They are constantly upon\ntheir guard. They treat me kindly, but they never let me know anything.\u201d\n\nThis, I believe, has been the experience of nearly all the Gentiles\nresident in Salt Lake City. Gentlemen had no chance of learning anything,\nand the opportunities of ladies were only a trifle better.\n\nUp to this time I had said very little to my children about my doubts and\nfears. With the exception of my daughter Clara, they were all too young.\nClara was just budding into womanhood, and day by day gave promise of\nmore beauty and interest in her future life. I dreaded to cast a cloud\nacross her way by telling her of my own apprehensions in respect to\nPolygamy. If that were the \u201cOrder\u201d of \u201cHeaven,\u201d she would certainly have\nto live in it; and in any case it was the \u201corder\u201d of Brigham Young, and\nmy child could not escape from it.\n\nWe had lived together in Polygamy about a year, when my husband told\nme that his young wife desired to have a home of her own, and that he\nintended to provide her with one. This was very pleasant intelligence to\nme; for the sight of that other wife constantly before my eyes, sitting\nat my table, in the midst of my family, walking in the garden with my\nhusband in the evening, or _t\u00eate-\u00e1-t\u00eate_ with him in the parlour, was\nmore than I could bear. I began to feel, whether justly or not, that my\npresence was a restraint to them, and that they felt annoyed when I was\nwith them. This feeling was so strong with me that I constantly avoided\nthem, and I finally concluded to spend the evenings in my own room with\nmy children, for, being out of their presence, I should perhaps be at\npeace.\n\nThis, however, was all changed when my husband established a second home.\nI did not mind being deprived of his society so long as I could get rid\nof _her_: her presence was painful to me, and when she was near me I\nhardly felt able to breathe.\n\nJust at that time the marriage of my daughter Clara first began to be\ntalked about seriously. One day my husband being out driving with Joseph\nA. Young, the eldest son of the Prophet, the subject was discussed\nbetween them, and Joseph A. made a proposition of marriage. This, to me,\nwas the cause of considerable uneasiness, as Joseph A. was a Polygamist,\nand at first I altogether refused to listen to the suggestion. At that\ntime Clara was not fifteen years of age, and not only did I consider her\naltogether too young to think of marriage, but I was shocked at the bare\nidea of her becoming a polygamic wife. I almost hated Joseph for asking\nfor her.\n\nPersonally I had no objection to Clara\u2019s lover. I had known him for\nseveral years. He was an intelligent, generous-hearted, and handsome\nman, of very good standing among the Saints, and wealthy. As a friend, I\nvalued and esteemed him; but that he, a polygamist, should wish to marry\nmy darling daughter, was very repugnant to my feelings. Clara was then\ngrowing old enough to understand my more serious thoughts and sentiments,\nand her companionship was very precious to me. The thought of her\nmarrying into Polygamy was to my mind almost as painful as the thought of\nher death would have been.\n\nMy husband agreed with me that she was too young to marry; but on that\npoint _he_ could not offer any great objection, as his own wife, although\nvery womanly in appearance, was but very little older in years. I told\nJoseph A. of my reluctance to the proposed marriage, and he fully entered\ninto my feelings. I could not absolutely refuse him, but I wished to gain\ntime. Every day found me more and more weak in the faith, and I thought\nthat, if I could only postpone my Clara\u2019s marriage for a few years,\nsomething might transpire which would relieve me of my difficulty.\n\nJoseph promised to wait just as long as we thought proper, if only we\nwould allow him to speak to Clara and explain to her the sentiments with\nwhich he regarded her. In this he acted in a way very unlike the Mormon\nmen generally, and I respected him accordingly. I promised him that I\nwould not influence my daughter, but would let her decide for herself.\nThis, after much careful consideration, I came to the conclusion was\nall that I could do. My mind at that time was in a very troubled state.\nDay by day my doubts respecting the plural wife system became stronger\nand stronger, and I felt that before very long some great change _must_\ntake place, both in my fate and in my life. At the same time, outward\ncircumstances gave no promise of any such change. My husband gave no\nsigns of apostasy, and, as a Saint, I knew he would never think of\nundertaking anything without the permission of Brother Brigham. We did\nnot even dare to leave the city without consulting the Prophet. In times,\nthen very recent, it was at the risk, and sometimes, indeed, at the\nsacrifice of life, that any one left Salt Lake Valley without permission;\nand even at the present moment no good Saint who values his standing\nin the Church would dream of going East without first obtaining the\napproval of Brigham Young. I could not, therefore, at the time of which I\nwrite, foresee the great changes which have since taken place. To refuse\nmy daughter to the Prophet\u2019s son would, I knew, be utterly useless.\nBy partial submission I might gain some advantages; and the longer I\npostponed the marriage, the greater chance there was that \u201csomething\u201d\nmight turn up, which we all more or less look for when we are placed in\ncircumstances which admit of the exercise of very little choice or effort.\n\nMy only objection against Joseph A. was, as I just stated, that he was a\npolygamist; but so long as we remained in the Church I could not openly\nallege this in opposition to the proposed marriage. If my Clara married\na single man, there was every chance, if not an absolute certainty, that\nafter a while he would take another wife, or wives. This had been the\ncase with other girls with whom my child was acquainted. They had married\nsingle men, trusting that their influence over them would be sufficient\nto retain their affections ever to themselves alone; but they had soon\nreason to see how groundless their expectations and hopes had been.\nIf, on the other hand, I gave my daughter to a polygamist, there was\ncertainly no reason why Joseph A. should be refused. I felt surrounded on\nevery side by difficulties, and out of them all I endeavoured to choose\nthe least.\n\nOne day my husband told me that Brigham Young had seriously spoken to him\nabout the matter, and had \u201ccounselled\u201d him to let the marriage take place\nat once, saying that my Clara was quite old enough. After this, objection\non my part would have been utterly unavailing. Everything was settled\nat the _fiat_ of Brigham; and the feelings and judgment of a father and\nmother in respect of their own daughter were, of course, of not the\nslightest consequence.\n\nThe wedding-day was therefore fixed, when the sweet flower of my own\nquiet garden was to be transplanted to another home.\n\nWe went to the Endowment House\u2014my husband, myself, and our daughter,\ntogether with some friends of the family. There we met with Joseph A.\nYoung, the expectant bridegroom; his father, Brigham Young; Joseph A.\u2019s\nfirst wife, Mary Young; and several of the brethren. The bride and\nbridegroom, and the bridegroom\u2019s first wife, were all dressed in their\nTemple robes. We then entered a small room where the altar, of which I\nhave already spoken, is placed. At the end of the altar, Brigham was\nseated in a large armchair covered with crimson velvet. The altar was\nalso crimson. Brigham officiated. Joseph A.\u2019s first wife, Mary Young,\nknelt in front of the long crimson altar; and my daughter Clara knelt\nbeside her on a sort of faldstool or ledge, arranged for that purpose.\nBehind the altar knelt Joseph A. Brigham said: \u201cJoseph, are you willing\nto take Clara Stenhouse to be your lawful and wedded wife for time and\nfor all eternity?\u201d Joseph answered, \u201cYes.\u201d Then Joseph\u2019s first wife was\ntold to place the right hand of my daughter in the right hand of her\nhusband, in token that she was willing; and then Clara was questioned,\nas Joseph had been. When she replied in the affirmative, Brigham said,\n\u201cI pronounce you man and wife in the name of the Lord. Amen.\u201d They were\nnow married; and Brigham Young, Joseph A.\u2019s first wife, and a few other\nfriends, came home to the wedding breakfast, after which my daughter went\nto her own pleasant home.\n\nThus my worst fears were realized. My own daughter had become a polygamic\nwife; she was the fourth wife of her husband, Joseph A. Young.\n\nIt is a source of sorrow to any mother who really loves her children to\nlose them, even if it be for their own good and happiness; but in my own\ncase there were reasons why I felt the loss of my daughter more than I\nshould have done under ordinary circumstances. I felt quite desolate\nwithout her; for when left all alone, when my husband took his second\nwife, and when I had no one else to turn to, my little daughter had\nentwined herself about my heart in a thousand sweet and loving ways. She\nknew how great an influence music had over me, and how much I loved to\nhear her play and sing; and when she saw how sad my heart was, or caught\nme in tears, she would go to her piano, and lure me to her side by some\nsweet song which she knew was dear to my memory. But with her went all\nthat love and gentleness which in my time of deepest trouble sustained me\nand kept me from absolute despair.\n\nI have often wondered whether Joseph ever realized how great, how\ndear a gift, I bestowed upon him when I gave him my little Clara. But\nin saying this I do not mean to cast the shadow of a doubt upon his\ntrue-heartedness and love towards her. He was always kind and thoughtful,\nconsidering her comfort in everything; and although they have now been\nmarried seven years, he has never changed, but is the same to her as on\nthe first day of their marriage. A good, kind, and gentle husband he has\never been, anticipating her every wish, tenderly and carefully guarding\nher from even a painful thought. My only regret has been that he is a\npolygamist, and she a polygamic wife.\n\nNot long after this, my husband one day told me that a select few had\nbeen chosen to receive their Second Endowments, and that we were to be\nhonoured with the same privilege. This I was told was one of the highest\nhonours that could be conferred upon us, as the Second Endowments had\nnever been given to any one since the Mormons left Nauvoo.\n\nThe glory of this privilege I did not myself, however, feel; and,\nnotwithstanding any respect which might be intended by our names being\nadded to the list of chosen ones, I refused to see the slightest good in\nthe whole affair. I am afraid I was naturally perverse\u2014or was it that the\nlight was now beginning to dawn more clearly upon my mind? I know not.\nBut I raised every possible objection, feeling, though I did, that all\nopposition on my part was useless. I knew that I should have to go, but I\nfelt a dismal satisfaction in letting every one know how much I hated the\nsystem.\n\n\u201cOur\u201d second wife\u2014I say \u201c_our_,\u201d because I had been taught that my\nhusband and myself were indissolubly one, even in the matter of taking\nwives\u2014\u201cour\u201d second wife seemed the happiest of us all when the day\narrived, and I believe she considered that we were very highly favoured.\nAfter preparing our Temple robes, we started for the Endowment House.\nThe reluctance which I felt caused me to lag behind, and I was _gently_\nreminded several times that I was making myself very disagreeable. I\ndid not, however, feel much remorse, for my husband had still one good,\nobedient wife walking at his side, who I knew would sympathize with him;\nand that, as every one is aware, is more than falls to the lot of every\nman.\n\nWhen we reached the Endowment House, we ladies were shown into one room\nand _our_ husband into another. We then proceeded to array ourselves\nin our robes, caps, and aprons\u2014the same as when we received our first\nEndowments\u2014and when all was ready we were ushered into another room by\none of the brethren, who was also dressed in his Temple robes. There we\nmet _our_ husband and several other brethren, all dressed in the same\nway. We sat down, and oil was then poured upon the head of _our_ husband\nby two of the brethren\u2014Daniel H. Wells and another\u2014and he was then\nordained a King and Priest to all eternity. After that, we two wives were\nanointed in like manner, and ordained Queens and Priestesses, to reign\nand rule with _our_ husband over his kingdom in the celestial world.\n\nHad I ever solaced myself with the notion, which some Mormon women\nentertain, that first wives are queens over all the rest, I should have\nbeen sadly disappointed when I heard \u201c_our_\u201d second wife ordained to the\nsame high office as myself. As it was, however, my faith was so small\nthat I should have been quite contented had they consecrated her alone\nqueen for Eternity, so long as they would have allowed me to rule and\nreign by myself in my own home for Time.\n\nThe ceremony did not last long; but it all appeared to me such folly that\nI was anxious to leave the place, and, though I dared not say so, I was\ntruly ashamed to be seen coming out of the House. While going through\nthese Endowments I was filled with a thorough contempt for everybody and\neverything around me, and I suppose that my feelings were visible upon my\ncountenance; for, after leaving the House, I remember the Apostle John\nTaylor asking me if I did not feel well, and I told him as plainly as I\ndared what really was the matter. He spoke to me very kindly, and tried\nto reassure me; but the scales were now falling from my eyes, and all his\narguments availed nothing.\n\nNotwithstanding all this, I was not ready yet to cast off the yoke, and\na few months after our Second Endowments I again gave evidence of my\nfaith. An event occurred in the other branch of my husband\u2019s family which\nproduced a strong impression upon my mind\u2014a little daughter was presented\nto him by his second wife. I was, of course, expected to go and visit the\nyoung mother and child, and I thought I could never bring my mind to do\nthat.\n\nIt would be impossible for me to define my feelings at that time\u2014loathing\nand hatred for him and for her, and even for the poor innocent babe,\non the one side; and, on the other, thoughts of what I considered was\nmy duty towards God, my husband, and his other lawful wife. I was\nbewildered. My heart said, Do not go; but my conscience said, It is your\nduty to treat her kindly, for she believes she has done you no wrong.\nThen I thought, She is a young mother, and, without you frowning upon\nher, sorrow will come swiftly enough to her door.\n\nI saw that my husband was troubled as to what my feelings might be,\nalthough he had not had courage to tell me himself of the interesting\nevent. He was afraid of paining me, and sent a lady friend with the\nintelligence. I spoke to him myself, and told him that I would go and\nsee Belinda and her child. He thanked me, and said, \u201cGod bless you for\nthat.\u201d Then I went to see her; but I was thankful when the visit was\nover; and although I went again many times, and tried my very best to\ntreat her kindly and even affectionately, I could never get over the\npainful feelings which agitated my mind when in her presence.\n\n[Illustration: ORSON PRATT, The Mormon Philosopher.\n\n_Born in 1811._]\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXV.\n\nREALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE\u2014ORSON PRATT: THE STORY OF HIS YOUNG ENGLISH\nWIFE.\n\n\nThe position of the plural wives\u2014second, third, fourth, or twentieth, it\nmatters not\u2014is but a mockery, after all; and in many respects they are\nmore to be pitied than the first wives. The first wives have known, if\nonly for a little while, a husband\u2019s love and care; but that has never\nbeen felt by the second wives. They are, in fact, in many respects little\nbetter than slaves; and if they are sensitive girls, their position\nmust be extremely painful, for they must realize at all times that they\nare receiving the attentions of another woman\u2019s husband; and in many\ninstances they are even afraid to be seen speaking to their husband for\nfear of bringing down the wrath of the first wife upon their heads.\nOthers, who are not so sensitive, assert their own rights and are defiant.\n\nI am well acquainted with a pretty young Welsh girl who was a second\nwife. Her husband had converted her to Mormonism while he was on a\nmission to Europe, and when they reached Salt Lake he married her. I saw\nher first two years after her marriage, when one day she came to me in\nthe greatest distress. She asked me if I would give her some employment,\nand, greatly surprised at the request, I asked her how she came to need\nanything to do, as I knew her husband could well afford to support her.\n\n\u201cI have left my husband,\u201d she answered, \u201cfor I could stand no longer the\nill-treatment that I received. I endured it until, as you see, my health\nis failing and I am broken-hearted. The creature I married has no manhood\nin him. He has allowed me to be treated like a slave, and has himself\nhalf-starved me, and has acted towards me with the greatest inhumanity.\nWhen I married him,\u201d she said, \u201cI was willing to make myself useful in\nthe family, and I did so. But one thing after another was given me to do,\nuntil I became a regular drudge; they would not have dared to treat a\nhired girl in the way they treated me. I was put into a miserable little\nback room, and was never allowed to see any of my friends; I had to work\nearly and late. When at last my position would not admit of my working\nquite so much, they punished me with all sorts of petty unkindnesses, and\nnearly starved me, giving me only a little flour or a few potatoes every\nday.\n\n\u201cAt last,\u201d she continued, \u201cI went to Brother Brigham to know what I\nshould do. He sent for my husband and talked to him a long time, and\nhe promised to do better if I would go back with him. Brother Brigham\ncounselled me to do so, and try him again; and I went. Soon after that,\nmy babe was born, and then they treated me with worse unkindness.\u201d\n\n\u201cWho do you mean by _they_?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cI mean my husband and his wife,\u201d she replied. \u201cThey did not seem to\nlook upon me as a wife at all, and even in the coldest mornings, and\nimmediately after my child was born, they used to make me get up first\nand light fires and prepare breakfast and begin work generally, and I\nwas only too glad if I escaped with a little fault-finding. I stood it\nas long as I could, because Brother Brigham had counselled me to do so;\nbut now I have left them again, and do not mean to return.\u201d This was the\nstory of one poor girl\u2019s troubles.\n\nNow the man, Elder Jos. Bull, who did this is a good Mormon, in good\nstanding in the Church to-day. He is employed by the authorities, and his\npoor young wife is now working for the Gentiles\u2014a much happier woman, if\nher face speaks truly, since her separation, although she has to support\nherself and child. She, like hundreds of other young girls, came to Utah\nwithout friend or relative, and this is how a good brother \u201ctook care\u201d of\nher.\n\nBut I must be permitted to relate a still more painful story\u2014the story of\na poor innocent girl allured from her happy home in England by one of the\nmost distinguished of the Mormon Apostles; brought over by him to Utah as\nhis wife, and there suffered to die in misery and neglect.\n\nThe Apostle Orson Pratt, who is called among the Saints \u201cThe Champion of\nPolygamy\u201d\u2014a man who has devoted his life to Mormonism, and whose writings\nhave done more than the labours of all the other Apostles to win converts\nto Polygamy; a man who on more than one occasion has boldly stood up\nagainst many of the absurdities and blasphemies of Brigham Young; a man\nupon whom, on account of his independence, Brigham has frowned, and who\nhas consequently never attained to the wealth of his more obsequious\nbrethren; a man who in all the ordinary affairs of life would command the\nrespect of every one around him. This was the man who perpetrated the\natrocious villainy which I am about to relate; and much against my own\npersonal inclinations I feel compelled to tell the story, as it shows how\nshockingly this debasing system can pervert an otherwise upright mind.\n\nOrson Pratt married the young girl of whom I speak in Liverpool, by\nspecial dispensation from Brigham Young; and her parents\u2014themselves\ndevout Mormons\u2014thought that their daughter was highly honoured in\nbecoming the wife of an Apostle. She was very pretty and attractive,\nand for a time he paid great attention to her, and brought her over to\nUtah as his bride. Arrived there, he utterly neglected her, and she\nexperienced all the horrors of polygamic life.\n\nThe Apostle was living in Salt Lake City. He had left his young wife\nand her children in Tooele\u2014a place about forty miles distant. There\nthey lived in a wretched little log-cabin, the young mother supporting\nher little ones as best she could. When her last child was born, she\nwas suffering all the miseries of poverty, dependent entirely upon the\ncharity of her neighbours. At the time when most she needed the gentle\nsympathy of her husband\u2019s love, that husband never came to see her.\n\nOne morning there was literally nothing in the house for herself and her\nchildren, who, knowing nothing of their mother\u2019s sufferings, cried to her\nfor bread.\n\nThe poor mother quieted them with a promise that they should soon have\nsomething to eat, and then she went and begged a few potatoes from a\nneighbour; and upon these they subsisted for three days. She then took\nher children with her, for they were too young to be left alone\u2014her babe\nwas only three weeks old\u2014and she went round to see if she could get work\nof any kind to do. In this she was not successful; and at length, worn\nout by continual anxiety and privation, and heart-broken by the neglect\nwhich she had experienced, she sank beneath a fever which promised very\nsoon to prove fatal.\n\nFor some time the neighbours nursed her; but they, of course, had their\nown families to attend to, and could not give her quite all their time,\nand thus occasionally she was left alone. One evening, when such was the\ncase, she got up in a state of delirium, and barefooted, and almost\ndestitute of clothing, took her children, and wandered forth with them\ninto the snow. The good people of Tooele went out over the prairie,\nanxious to find and bring back the poor maniac, but for a long time their\nsearch was in vain. At last, not knowing whither she went, she wandered\nto the house of Brother Eli B. Kelsey\u2014a \u201cvile apostate\u201d as Brigham Young\nwould call him; but known to every one else, Saint, Apostate, or Gentile,\nas one of the best and kindest-hearted men that ever lived. In Brother\nKelsey\u2019s house she and her little ones were kindly received by him and\nhis good wife, and their wants attended to. They were clothed and fed,\nand were then carried back to the log-cabin which they called their home.\n\nNext day the Mormon Bishop of Tooele assembled the people, and money was\ncollected and sent to Salt Lake City, to Orson Pratt, begging him to come\nimmediately, if he wished to see his wife alive. But the Apostle did not\ncome. At that time he was actually engaged in taking another bride, and\nhe wanted to hear nothing of his dying wife.\n\nThen the good Bishop sent a young man, who rode all night, to compel him\nimmediately to take the coach for Tooele\u2014the young man paying his fare,\nso that he might have no excuse. Then, at last, he came.\n\nArrived at the little town where his poor wife lay dying, Orson conducted\nhimself like the philosopher he professes to be. Before him stood\nthe hovel, within which were his deserted little ones\u2014wailing, as if\nsensible of the great loss of a mother\u2019s care which they would soon have\nto sustain\u2014and there, on her dying bed, was that poor wife and mother,\ntossing in wild delirium. But he, the cause of all that woe, passed by\nthat wretched hovel and its death-scene to the comfortable home of a\nwell-to-do brother, at whose house he first obtained his supper, and\nthen, calmly returning, entered the place where his wife was lying, and\nfor a moment surveyed the scene. Then he quietly remarked to one of the\nsisters present: \u201cShe has a good deal of fever.\u201d\n\nAnother sister, who stood by, impulsively exclaimed, \u201cGood God! Brother\nPratt, this is more than fever; she is dying.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh dear no, sister,\u201d he calmly replied; \u201cshe will recover.\u201d\n\nIt was evident, however, to all but Orson that his wife _was_ dying, and\nthat no earthly power could save her.\n\n[Illustration: DESPAIR.\n\n_To face p. 326._]\n\nThe next day she was still raving, and it was told me that in her wild\nfrenzy she even attempted to strangle her babe. Orson essayed to hold\nher, but she caught his gold chain and snapped it in two. His touch and\nthe sight of the chain recalled her for a moment to her senses, and she\nsaid reproachfully, \u201cYou are puffed up with pride, Orson, with your gold\nchain and rings, while you leave me and my babes to starve. Poor little\nlambs! where are they?\u201d\n\nFor a moment the yearning of a mother\u2019s heart for her children conquered\nthe fever that tortured her mind, and she listened to her husband\u2019s\nattempted words of comfort, as he said, \u201cI am with you now, Eliza, and I\nwill take care of you.\u201d\n\nSteadily, for a moment, she looked up into his face, and, with tears in\nher eyes, said mournfully: \u201cIt is _too late_, Orson\u2014it is _too late_!\u201d\n\nThese were the last sane words which she uttered in this life, although\nshe still lingered on insensible.\n\nThe next morning the Apostle Pratt resolved to leave for Salt Lake City\nand his young bride. The Bishop, however, called a council and summoned\nhim to remain until his wife was dead. Nevertheless he did not wish to\nstay, and, being an Apostle, he overruled the council. At the last moment\nbefore his intended departure, one of the sisters said: \u201cBrother Pratt,\nshould she die, what shall we do with her?\u201d\n\n\u201cOh, she won\u2019t die,\u201d he replied.\n\n\u201cBut should she?\u201d the sister urged.\n\n\u201cThen bury her with her children,\u201d he answered.\n\nAfter much solicitation, he was prevailed upon to remain for a few hours,\nand the next morning his wife died. The language of her last moments, as\nshe raved and tossed in mad delirium, showed how terrible had been her\nmental agony, and how much she had suffered from this frightful system.\n\nBut one might easily fill a large volume with stories quite as cruel as\nthis. It is simply absurd to expect that it should be otherwise. Men\nand women can train and discipline their minds, they can crush out the\naffections of their hearts if they will; but no effort of man can change\nman\u2019s nature entirely, or root out altogether humanity from the soul.\nWomen may endure, as that poor woman did whose story I have just related,\nbut they never can get perfectly adapted to the system of \u201cCelestial\nMarriage.\u201d The nearer they approach to its requirements, the further they\nrecede from all that is held good and noble in womanhood; and as for the\nmen, they are brutalized by every effort which they make to conform to it.\n\nDuring the summer, about three years ago, a young-looking woman, very\nshabbily dressed, came frequently to my house with heavy baskets of\nfruit, which she entreated me to buy. One day she said: \u201cYou do not\nremember me, Sister Stenhouse, I think, and I do not wonder, for I am so\nchanged. I have to work very hard now, for all I have to live upon is\nwhat I can make by selling fruit, or any little work that I can get my\nneighbours to give me to do; and if my husband could prevent even that,\nI believe he would. I am obliged to gather my fruit at night and hide it\nfrom him, and that is why I urged you so to buy, for I never know when I\nmay meet him.\u201d\n\nI was very much surprised at this, as her husband, I knew, was getting a\ngood salary, and appeared to be a most gentlemanly man. His first wife, I\nwas aware, had left him, it was said, on account of cruelty and neglect,\nand he had married this one just after her arrival from England. I had\nevery reason to believe that she had been a good wife to him, and a\nmother to his motherless children; but he had taken another wife since he\nmarried her, and had cruelly neglected this poor woman, leaving her his\nfirst wife\u2019s children to take care of. She said that he was again paying\nhis addresses to another still, and she expected that he would soon marry\nher. And yet this woman [his second wife] told me that all he had left\nfor her and the children to live on was a sack of bran and about fifty\npounds of corn meal. Everything else had been taken to the third wife,\neven to the best articles of furniture.\n\nShe said: \u201cOne evening I had been sitting in the porch in my\nrocking-chair, when he came in and remained about an hour. As soon as\nhe left, I went out to bring in the chair, and was just in time to see\nhim carrying it off. I knew where he was going with it.\u201d I saw this poor\nwoman frequently, and bought her fruit often when I did not need it, for\nit grieved me to see her carrying such heavy loads in her then delicate\nsituation. After a time I lost sight of her, and then I heard that she\nwas dead. One day her own daughter\u2014for she was a widow when she married\nthis man\u2014came to me before leaving the city. \u201cI am going away to some\nfriends,\u201d she said, \u201cfor I will never live near that man; he killed my\nmother; he kicked her so severely that she never recovered, and when her\nchild was born, they both died from the effects of the blows which she\nhad received\u2014and I hate him.\u201d\n\nThe first wife of \u201cBrig.\u201d Hampton, one of the Mormon authorities, told\nme how her husband whipped her because she would not consent to his\nstripping their home of everything that was either useful or handsome\nin order to furnish a house for his second wife. Finally, he shut her up\nwhile he took her entire parlour furniture away. She was a fragile little\nwoman, and perfectly helpless when in the power of a strong man, and\ntherefore was forced to submit, as there was no appeal to law in Utah.\n\nIt is a very difficult thing for a woman, after listening, day after\nday, to such tales of woe and misery, and knowing them to be true, to\nretain any respect for a polygamist, whoever he may be. For my own part\nI regard them all with such feelings of loathing that I can hardly speak\ncivilly of them, and would prefer never to speak to them. I know scores\nof ladies\u2014married ladies\u2014Mormon ladies, who in secret feel and speak just\nas I do upon this subject.\n\nFor many years past the American Elders have derived a rich harvest from\nBritain and Scandinavia. After the introduction of Polygamy, an Elder\nwas seldom known to return from Mission without bringing with him one,\ntwo, and sometimes three young girls, or else arranging in some way for\ntheir emigration. The Missionaries, however, preferred, whenever it was\npossible, to bring the girls with them; for if they trusted them to the\ncare of a brother returning before or after, he very frequently turned\ntraitor, and carried off the prize himself.\n\nThe Elders were not permitted to marry these extra wives while on or\nreturning from a mission, unless they had special permission from Brigham\nYoung. But quite a number of the poor weak brethren were so impulsive and\nso anxious to be married, that they could not wait for the ceremonies of\nthe Endowment House. One conscientious Swiss brother, named Loba, who\ncould find no one willing to take the responsibility of marrying him\nwhile crossing the Plains, said that as he was an Elder he could just as\nwell marry himself, and be under no obligation to anybody; and he did so.\nHe had fallen in love with a little miss\u2014a mere child, about one quarter\nof his own age.\n\nMany men have married wives, and have brought them home, before their\nfirst wives knew even that they were in love. They had not had courage to\nintroduce the subject, but believed that when the wife found that it was\ndone, and could not be undone, she would see the uselessness of feeling\nbadly, and would soon get over it. But no wife who has been thus treated\never did \u201cget over it.\u201d What can a man know of woman\u2019s nature who would\ndare to act thus towards her, and think that she would become reconciled\nto such treatment?\n\nWhat strange ideas the Mormon men must have of woman\u2019s nature if they\nbelieve that women can submit to such treatment as this and still love\nthem! What folly to think even of love!\n\nIt would be very wrong for me to say that there are _no_ men who try to\nbe just in the practice of Polygamy, for I know many who try their very\nbest to act impartially to all their wives; but this is not really the\nresult of their religion, about which some of these men appear to care\nvery little. I feel sure that if they are good men, notwithstanding the\nevil effects of Mormonism upon them, they would have been much better men\nwithout it.\n\nOn the other hand, I have known men who, before they became Mormons, were\nreputed good husbands and fathers, but who afterwards became cold and\nharsh in their natures, cruel to their wives, and neglectful to their\nchildren. It seemed as if they thought of nothing else but courting the\ngirls and taking more wives, altogether regardless as to whether they\ncould support them or not.\n\nSome of the Elders, finding that they might not marry plural wives before\nthey reached Utah, have bound the girls by solemn vows and covenants to\nmarry them when they arrived in Salt Lake Valley; and the poor girls,\nbelieving that, because these men were Missionaries, all they said and\ndid _must_ be right, have often\u2014in fact, in almost every instance\u2014to\ntheir own great injury, kept their \u201ccovenants\u201d and married the men to\nwhom they were vowed. I have known personally and intimately several\nwomen who have in this way ruined their prospects and blighted the hopes\nof their whole lives, and sadder stories than theirs could not be told.\n\nMy husband had again left Salt Lake City, and had gone to \u201cthe States,\u201d\nas we then called \u201cgoing East;\u201d for it was such a long journey that\nwe felt ourselves altogether out of the pale of civilization. I felt,\ntherefore, comparatively free; for I could now, whenever I desired to do\nso, walk out, or visit a friend, without the constant dread of meeting\nhim and his wife. It always humiliated me to see them together, although\nI believed that it was perfectly right that my husband should show\nattentions to his other wife. It was not _now_ jealousy that I felt\u2014the\nday of jealous feeling was long past. I felt disgusted, and I was humbled\nat the sight of them. At one time, for nearly six months, I remained at\nhome, never going further than my own garden, simply for the reason that\nI feared to meet _her_ in the presence of any of my friends\u2014particularly\nany of my Gentile friends; or worse still, with _him_.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXVI.\n\n\u201cOUR\u201d HUSBAND\u2019S FIANC\u00c9E\u2014A SECOND WIFE\u2019S SORROWS\u2014STEPS TOWARDS APOSTASY.\n\n\nAt one time I had almost begun to think that my husband had seen enough\nof the discomforts and heartlessness of polygamic life, and that his eyes\nwere looking back wishfully to the time when, as the old Scotch ballad\nsays:\n\n    \u201cOne loving heart was all his own,\n    But there as king he reign\u2019d supreme.\u201d\n\nMy faith in my own acuteness and perception was, however, very\nconsiderably shaken when one day he told me that he thought it was about\ntime for him to think of taking another wife. I suppose he expected that\nI should express some astonishment or offer objections, for he proceeded\nto give me excellent reasons for what he was about to do. His greatly\nimproved circumstances; his desire to sustain his brethren; and, above\nall, the necessity that he should \u201cbuild up a kingdom!\u201d\n\nThere was no gainsaying all this. The Lord had certainly very greatly\nblessed him in basket and in store; it was, moreover, praiseworthy in\nhim to wish to sustain his brethren; and nobody could deny that he ought\nto have a \u201ckingdom!\u201d To crown all, the young lady whom he proposed to\nhonour this time could not possibly be objected to by any loyal Saint,\nfor she was of the seed royal of the modern Israel\u2014a daughter of the\nhigh-priestly house of Brigham Young!\n\nI suppose, if I had been a right-minded woman, I should have felt the\ngreat glory that there was in the proposed alliance. But, in point of\nfact, such is the perversity of human nature, I did not feel at all\npleased, although I could say nothing in objection. I had had some slight\nsuspicion that my husband\u2019s eyes, to say nothing of his heart, had lately\nbeen inclined to wander in a certain direction, for he had become so\nparticularly regular in his attendance at the theatre. I mentioned the\nmatter to him once or twice, but he answered that as an editor it was\na matter of necessity for him to attend, and that he ought to be there\nalways. This I might, perhaps, have believed, had it not been that it was\nnow several years since his paper was first established, and hitherto\nhis personal attendance at every representation had not been considered\nabsolutely indispensable. Reporters had been able to do all that was\nnecessary.\n\nHis proposal to marry this young lady, now it was openly stated, shed\nlight upon many things which had before appeared to me rather obscure.\nHer name was Zina, and she was the daughter of Mrs. Zina D. Huntington\nJacobs, whom I have already mentioned as one of the Prophet\u2019s wives. She\nwas one of the actresses in the theatre\u2014for many of Brigham\u2019s daughters\nat that time took part in the representations\u2014and I had frequently\nobserved very pretty little notices of her in the Salt Lake _Daily\nTelegraph_.\n\nI did not much care now how many wives my husband took\u2014he might as well\nhave twenty, as the one too many which he already had\u2014his marriage to\nanother could not possibly make me feel any worse, provided I was not\ncompelled to associate with her. I had resolved that I would never live\non familiar terms with his other wives\u2014not because I might disrespect or\ndislike them personally, but because I could not overcome the purer and\nbetter teachings of my early life.\n\nMy husband in due form proposed, and was accepted; and it was soon\nrumoured abroad that he was going to many one of the \u201cPresident\u2019s\u201d\ndaughters\u2014Brigham is always spoken of as \u201cPresident\u201d Young among the\nSaints. In the course of a day or two they were formally \u201cengaged,\u201d and\na more loving couple could not possibly have been found. The young lady\nherself afterwards told me that their love was of no ordinary kind,\nand I\u2019m sure I did not doubt her word. But consider how pleasant such\nintelligence must have been to a wife!\n\nZina\u2019s friends, who wished to cheer me up and make me happy, told me that\nmy husband\u2019s love for her was perfectly engrossing; they \u201cthought he\ncould never have really loved before\u201d\u2014\u201cthere was something very beautiful\nin their loves!\u201d\n\nZina pitied us, I know, when she realized that _we_ could never know\nthe great depth of _our_ husband\u2019s love for her. She spoke and acted as\nif this were how she felt; and I have no doubt that she intended, after\nher marriage with _our_ husband, to treat us with great kindness and\nconsideration, as a sort of recompense for what we never had truly known,\nand never could know _now_\u2014_our_ husband\u2019s love!\n\nAs is almost always the case when the husband takes a third wife, a\nbetter state of feeling was brought about between my own husband\u2019s second\nwife and myself. Belinda no longer centred all her jealousy in me. She\nnow, to a certain extent, began to realize what I had suffered when my\nhusband courted her; she felt badly, and I really did sympathize with\nher when I remembered how young she was, and that she was the mother of\nthree little children. She had her moiety of a husband, it is true; but,\nlike all other polygamic wives, that was her misfortune rather than her\ncomfort and strength. Many a wife would be happier were she a widow; in\nfact, widows are the happiest class of women in Utah, for they realize\nthat it is far better to have a dead sorrow than a living one.\n\nNow, our husband always maintained that he was not in love with Miss\nZina, but that in making love to her he was acting entirely from\nprinciple. So all the brethren say, and I have never yet heard of any one\nof them ever confessing\u2014except, of course, to the maiden herself\u2014that he\nwas in love. To the maiden herself he says, not only that, but a great\ndeal more. But if our husband, at the time of which I speak, was not in\nlove, the saints forbid that I should ever see him in that condition!\nI am sure when I heard his fianc\u00e9e speaking of their devotion to each\nother, and of the fond attachment of her heart to him (for she felt no\ndelicacy in speaking to me\u2014his wife\u2014about such matters), I came to the\nconclusion that I had never known what it was to really love, and that\nmy nature was too crude and unrefined to understand the mysteries of the\ntender passion. There was no love in the case, _our_ husband told us\u2014all\npure duty!\n\nLong courtships had become quite fashionable among the brethren in Salt\nLake City, and I dreaded a long courtship more than anything else, for\nthere is so much that is humiliating, and I might even say disgusting, to\na wife when her husband is engaged in love-making to another woman, that\nI hoped, as much as possible, to be spared passing through such an ordeal\na second time.\n\nAs the accepted lover and affianced husband of Brother Brigham\u2019s\ndaughter, our husband was, of course, constantly in attendance at the\nProphet\u2019s house. But he was not the only good brother who spent his\nevenings in Brigham Young\u2019s parlour; for it was then\u2014and I suppose it\nis to-day\u2014a regular rendezvous for middle-aged and young men, and\neven boys; and there the Prophet\u2019s little girls, as well as those who\nwere grown or growing up, obtained an excellent training in the art of\nflirting and courting.\n\nIt has always been said among the Saints that Brigham\u2019s girls, and the\ndaughters of Daniel H. Wells, were the boldest and least retiring maidens\nto be found in Salt Lake City, and that they presumed greatly upon their\nimaginary high position; which position nobody but themselves cared\nanything about. It is well known that the very people upon whom they\nlook down are those who rightly should receive their warmest gratitude\nand respect, on account of the more than liberal support which they have\ngiven to their father, even to the detriment of their own children.\n\nWhen first I heard that my husband had set his affections upon one of\nthese girls, I felt convinced that he could not have made a very wise\nchoice; and I could not help dreading that the mere fact of my husband\nhaving selected a daughter of the Prophet as his future wife would\nbring trouble upon us all. What shape that trouble would take I could\nform no conjecture, but I felt sure that a change of some sort was fast\napproaching. My faith was almost gone; I felt the degrading position in\nwhich the \u201cCelestial\u201d system placed me and my children, and it seemed to\nme that I could no longer endure it. My children I could not, and would\nnot leave, but it was impossible for me to continue to live as I had\nbeen living; nor would I think of bringing up my children any longer to\nbelieve and live a religion which had so cruelly blighted my own life. It\nwas for them that I feared now; I felt that for their sake I must break\naway from this horrible system.\n\nMy own life, I thought, was not worth caring for, but the idea of my\nlittle girls growing up and following in my footsteps and enduring as I\nhad endured, was more than I could bear. Something must be done to save\nthem from such a fate.\n\nAbout this time I procured a copy of the \u201cRevelation on Celestial\nMarriage,\u201d and read it through carefully and calmly, from beginning to\nend. The reader may, perhaps, remember that when a copy of it was first\ngiven to me, in Switzerland, years before, I was so angry and indignant\nthat when I had got only partly through it I cast it from me in disgust\nas an outrage upon all that was good and true. From that time, although\nI had heard portions of it quoted and read, I had never perused it as a\nwhole. On two occasions, at least, my friend Mary Burton was very near\nreading it through with me, and had we done so, I have not the slightest\ndoubt that my eyes would have been opened to the absurdity and wickedness\nof the whole system, and years of wretchedness would have been spared me.\n\nSuch, however, was not the case. It was not until I had almost drained\nthe cup of sorrow and degradation that, at last, I found an antidote in\nthe deadly thing itself which had been the source of all my unhappiness.\nI was acting upon the hom\u0153opathic principle\u2014\u201c_similia similibus\ncurantur_\u201d\u2014and using a dose of poison to cure a disease caused by that\npoison.\n\nAs I read, I saw plainly, _from the wording of the document_, that if\never it was given to Joseph Smith\u2014no matter by whom\u2014it was given _long\nafter_ he had _practised_ Polygamy\u2014or something as bad\u2014and to sanction\nwhat he had already done. I had read in the Book of Mormon:\n\n\u201cDavid and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, _which thing was\nan abomination before me, saith the Lord_.... Hearken to the Word of the\nLord: for there shall not any man among you have, save it be one wife;\nand concubines he shall have none.\u201d [_Book of Mormon_, p. 118.]\n\nIn the Book of the Covenants, given through Joseph Smith, and held sacred\nby every Saint, I had read:\n\n\u201cThou shalt love thy _wife_ with all thy heart, and cleave unto _her_ and\n_none_ else.\u201d [_Book of Covenants_, p. 124.]\n\nAnd yet when I turned to the \u201cRevelation\u201d I found in the very first\nclause:\n\n\u201cVerily, thus saith the Lord unto my servant Joseph, that inasmuch as you\nhave enquired at my hand, to know and understand wherein I, the Lord,\nJUSTIFIED [!] my servants Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, as also Moses, David\nand Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their\nhaving many wives and concubines,\u201d &c.\n\nWhat could I possibly think of a \u201cProphet\u201d who, after having the law\nlaid down so clearly, and being told so distinctly that the doings of\nDavid and Solomon were an \u201cabomination,\u201d and that a man should have\n_but one wife_, should enquire of the Lord how He \u201cjustified\u201d the very\nthings which He had just declared were \u201can abomination\u201d unto Him?\u2014Then,\ntoo, what blasphemy to represent God as one day giving a \u201cRevelation\u201d\ndeclaring a thing sinful, and the next day \u201cjustifying\u201d it! I felt\nperfectly humiliated with myself that I had never before had the courage\nto look the matter calmly in the face and discover, as I must have\ndiscovered, had I only used my unaided reason, the shameful imposture\nwhich had been palmed upon us. I now made careful enquiry, and it was\nsoon clear to me that evidence was not wanting to prove that the doctrine\nof plural marriages originated in the licentious hearts of Joseph Smith\nand those associated with him. When once I was convinced of that, the\nwhole fabric of my religion crumbled before my eyes; and from that time I\ncan hardly say that I had faith in anything that had been taught me.\n\nMy husband\u2019s second wife was also very unhappy now. She, too, after the\ngeneral rule, had flattered herself that _she_ was \u201chis first and only\nlove,\u201d and it was not pleasant to have her dream of happiness dispelled;\nbut now that another \u201cjewel\u201d was to be added to _our_ husband\u2019s crown,\nshe could no longer deceive herself. She little knew, poor girl, when\nshe married, that a Mormon\u2019s heart is like a honeycomb\u2014there is always a\nvacant cell wherein another may nestle.\n\nReal trouble, too, she had. One of her children was taken very sick, and\nafter a very severe illness died. I remained with her night and day, and\ndid what I could for the poor child. Had it been possible for me to have\nfelt a greater loathing and detestation for that vile system of Polygamy,\nthat feeling would have been conceived while I watched at the bedside of\nmy husband\u2019s dying child. It was there that I vowed that no polygamists\nshould ever marry another daughter of mine, and resolved that to my dying\nday my voice should be raised against the unholy and unnatural teachings\nof the Mormon Priesthood. I looked at that lonely young mother, who in\nher hour of trial ought to have had _all_ her husband\u2019s sympathy, _all_\nhis attention, to support her; but who, instead, knew that, however kind\nhe might be to her, he was contemplating a new marriage, and his thoughts\nmust of necessity be more or less with his purposed bride. All unkind\nfeeling was banished from my heart\u2014I forgot that she was my husband\u2019s\nwife, and remembered only that, like myself, she was a suffering woman,\na victim to a false faith; and I felt very deeply for her in her time of\nsorrow and bereavement.\n\nMy husband, at this time, had been a member of the Mormon Church for\ntwenty-five years. He had lectured, preached, written and published,\nin Great Britain, Switzerland, and the United States, in support of\nthe Mormon faith. He had been a most earnest and consistent member of\nthe Church, and devotedly attached to Brigham Young. This attachment\nto Brother Brigham he shared in common with all the staunchest of his\nbrethren; for while the members of the Church retain unshaken confidence\nin the new revelation, they naturally acquire a great regard for the\nProphet, and render him unquestioning obedience. I believe that my\nhusband would willingly have laid down his life, if by so doing he could\nhave shielded Brigham Young from harm or have been of essential service\nto him.\n\nBut causes were now in operation which, by-and-by, detached him from\nthe Church, and made it possible for me also to leave the Mormon faith.\nHitherto, for my children\u2019s sake, I dared not leave the Church without\nmy husband, and I therefore anxiously watched for anything which might\nrescue him from the bondage in which he was held.\n\nAs proprietor of a daily paper, his business had frequently called him\nto the Eastern States for several months at a time, and I observed that\nafter those visits his editorials took a more liberal turn. My Mormon\nfriends frequently said to me, \u201cBrother Stenhouse is doing himself no\ngood by his constant association with the Gentiles;\u201d and subsequently,\nwhen he did apostatize, our secession from the Church was attributed to\ncontaminating Gentile influences.\n\nThen, too, we had frequent visits from strangers passing through Salt\nLake City. I saw, with pleasure, that this intercourse with the outside\nworld was gradually undermining my husband\u2019s confidence in the teachings\nof the Elders, and it gave me courage to hope that, after all, the day of\nliberty might dawn at last. Feeling as I did thus, it will not surprise\nthe reader that I regarded with more and more distrust the proposed\nmarriage of my husband to Brother Brigham\u2019s daughter; for I felt that\nthen he would be deeper than ever in the toils of the Priesthood, and I\nsometimes almost believed that it was my duty to use every influence in\nmy power to prevent it.\n\nPutting my own feelings out of the question, it is probable that I might\nhave done this simply for his own good; for I doubted not that some day\nthe scales must fall from his eyes, and then he would be thankful that I\nhad prevented the marriage. Our paths by this time had certainly diverged\nfar asunder, and my husband had another wife and family; but I believed\nthat he was sincere, though sadly mistaken, or I should not have felt so\nkindly towards him as I did.\n\nAt other times, and observing his devotion, I almost myself began to\nthink that perhaps the nonsense that I had heard was, after all, true,\nand that this girl _was_ the only one he had really loved; and, if so, of\ncourse he ought to marry her. In fact, so divided was my attention that\nI hardly knew what to think; I therefore resolved to act according to\ncircumstances.\n\nBrigham Young, in one of his sermons, says that \u201cthe first thing\nmanifested in the case of apostasy was the idea that the Prophet was\nliable to make a mistake: when a man believes that, he has taken the\nfirst step towards apostasy; he need only take one step more, and he is\nout of the Church.\u201d This was spoken of Joseph and his saints, but it\nsuits just as well Brigham and his; I knew very well that my husband had\ntaken the first step, and I sincerely hoped that he might soon take the\nsecond. For my own part, I had for some time not only believed that a\nProphet _might_ be mistaken, but, as Brother Heber would say, I _knew_ it.\n\nMy husband and his bride elect, like all other lovers, had frequent\nlittle quarrels\u2014I suppose for the purpose of making up again, and\nbeing then all the more ardent in their affection. But they now had a\ndisagreement which lasted longer than all that had gone before; although\nI suppose that neither of them had, at that time, the slightest idea how\nit was going to end. They had been courting for fifteen months at least,\nand after so much devotion on the part of my husband, and so much fervent\naffection on the part of the young lady, it really did seem too bad that\nso large an amount of love should be thrown away. It was hard that after\nsuch a long strain upon their religious and devotional feelings\u2014for\nthey were both very pious lovers\u2014all their labour of love should come\nto nought. Things had certainly taken a twist, for I knew well enough\nthat at one time they both firmly believed that their marriage was\npre-ordained in heaven, and that they were as completely one in feeling\nas mortals ever could be. The mother, too, who was a very pious woman,\nonce told my husband that she had had a vision in which it was revealed\nto her that they were destined for each other in the eternal worlds:\u2014the\nlovers of course firmly believed her. But, for all that, the estrangement\nstill continued, and my husband was constantly making it wider by the\narticles which appeared in his paper, until at last certain of the\nsisters whispered that the heart of the lady had been attracted towards\nsome brighter luminary.\n\nLong courtships often end disastrously; but when I heard rumours of the\nlady\u2019s presumed faithlessness, it seemed to me hardly fair, for the day\nhad been fixed for the marriage and the wedding-dress actually made.\nOf course I sympathized with my husband. Would any wife like to see her\nhusband disappointed in his love-affairs with another woman, I wonder?\n\nWhile under these natural feelings of indignation, I one day told Brigham\nYoung that I thought, after all the courting that had been done\u2014and it\nwas not a trifle\u2014they certainly ought to be married. He said he was\nwilling enough himself, if they wished it; but girls, he said, often\nchanged their minds, and as they could but have one husband, it was only\nfair that their wishes should be consulted. \u201cIf Zina has really changed\nher mind,\u201d he added, \u201cI have plenty of other daughters, and they have all\ngot to be married; let him take one of them\u2014if one won\u2019t another will!\u201d\nThe reader will see the liberal ideas which Brother Brigham entertains on\nthe subject of marriage.\n\nIt may, perhaps, seem rather strange that I should be anxious to have\nthem marry; but, after all that I had seen and endured in Polygamy,\ncan it be wondered at that I should no longer regard the father of my\nchildren as my own husband? Had I thought him a bad man, or had he acted\nas I know many of the good brethren do act; had he brought home girl\nafter girl with the hope of alluring one or more of them into Polygamy,\nor had he been utterly reckless of my feelings, I might perhaps have\nbeen able to cast him from my heart without a single regret. But I\nreally believed that he was acting consistently with the teachings of\nhis religion, and if I felt degraded by the life I lived, it was not his\nfault\u2014it was the fault of the system. I therefore felt that if things\ncame to the worst, and if I were driven to extremities, and forced to\nseparate from him, I should like to know that he had a wife whom he\nloved. I felt certain that there was now but little love between him and\nhis second wife, and that some day a separation was sure to take place.\nThe idea of divorce was so repugnant to my feelings that it was only in\nmoments when grief overpowered me, and my heart was wrung with anguish,\nand I felt utterly reckless, that I for one moment thought of anything\nlike it. Even then I only entertained the idea of a separate life\u2014not\ndivorce.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXVII.\n\nSOME CURIOUS COURTSHIPS\u2014BRIGHAM RUINS OUR FORTUNES\u2014BELINDA DIVORCES \u201cOUR\u201d\nHUSBAND.\n\n\nMormonism had been, to my husband, everything. It had for years grown\nwith his growth, until it had become a part of himself. Doubts had\noccasionally crept into his mind, it is true, but it required time to\neffect a change. The measures adopted by Brigham Young in the spring of\n1869, for the purpose of controlling the commerce of Utah, as well as the\nproperty and faith of the people, caused great discontent. The teachings\nof the Tabernacle were wild and arrogant, and Brigham assumed that it\nwas his right to dictate in everything, \u201ceven,\u201d he said, \u201cto the setting\nup of a stocking or the ribbons which a woman should wear.\u201d Many of the\npeople, when they heard these words and witnessed the fanaticism created\nthereby, were aroused to opposition, but Brigham only became more fierce\nin his denunciations and more harsh in his measures.\n\nI could plainly see that all this had the, to me, much desired effect of\nalienating my husband from Mormonism, and I never allowed an opportunity\nof strengthening the impression thus produced to pass unimproved. The\narticles in his paper showed the condition of his mind, and brought down\nupon him the wrath of Brigham. At this also I rejoiced, and did not fail\nto make him feel that he ought to resent the Prophet\u2019s interference.\nBrigham felt too certain of the submission of his slave, and accused\nMr. Stenhouse of having published favourable notices of Gentile stores,\nalso of having their advertisements in his paper, and otherwise aiding\nand abetting the wicked Gentiles\u2014all which accusations my husband began\nto feel was an infringement upon his own private personal rights as a\ncitizen and a man. One circumstance followed another, and I could plainly\nsee that his confidence in Brigham\u2019s inspiration was slowly but surely\ndwindling away, and that the day which I had so long anxiously watched\nfor was breaking at last. Notwithstanding this, however, there was\none bond which still united him by no weak tie to the Church\u2014he was a\nPolygamist. The contemplated marriage between him and Brigham\u2019s daughter\ncould, I believed, never now take place; but, even allowing that, he\nstill had another wife; and now that I had entirely lost faith in\nMormonism generally, and the \u201cCelestial Order of Marriage\u201d in particular,\nI resolved that I would no longer have a partner in my husband\u2019s\naffections\u2014as if he were a \u201cjoint-stock concern!\u201d\u2014I would have the whole\nof my husband, or none. I had not yet, however, sufficient courage to\nspeak to him of my feelings.\n\nOne Sunday evening, Mr. Stenhouse, when he came home, said to me:\n\u201cBrother Brigham has given me a mission; he wishes me to go to Ogden and\npublish my paper there.\u201d\n\nI can imagine I see some strong-minded woman smile at the idea of a wife\nwanting courage to speak to her husband. But such women do not know what\nMormonism is.\n\nThis was very unexpected news; but with the vividness of lightning,\na glimpse of what the Prophet intended by such a strange proposition\nflashed across my mind. \u201cHe wishes to ruin us!\u201d I exclaimed; \u201cyou surely\nwill not go!\u201d\n\nNow Brigham, of course, knew that my husband\u2019s paper had a large\ncirculation in Utah Territory as well as in Salt Lake City, and that his\nbusiness was in a most prosperous condition; he knew also that to do\naught that might impair or destroy that business would be to bring misery\nand disaster upon all who were dependent upon it for their daily bread.\nAnd yet, for all that, he told my husband to break up his establishment,\nor in his own words, \u201cto pull up root and branch,\u201d and go to a place\nwhere the people were so miserably poor that it was impossible to make a\nnewspaper successful among them.\n\nIn all this the crafty Prophet no doubt acted wisely. The _Daily\nTelegraph_ would in all probability become a power in the Territory,\nand he feared that in a short time it would emancipate itself from his\ncontrol.\n\nI do not doubt that, long before this time, he had noted that my husband\nwas weakening in the faith; but he had waited for his opportunity, and\nnow he considered that it had come. We knew very well that this was the\nway in which he had always acted towards those whom he feared or doubted;\nwhen he saw them growing weak in the faith he ruined them, or did the\nbest he could to that effect, before they finally left the Church. I\nurged my husband to resist this arbitrary decree on the part of the\nProphet, and represented strongly the misery which would result from his\nfailure, and the utter impossibility of success. But I soon found that,\nthough he doubted Brigham, his faith in Mormonism was by no means all\ngone\u2014he, like many another, feared that in disobeying Brigham, perhaps,\nafter all, he might be resisting God. He could see the wrong-doing of the\nProphet, and felt that his conduct was unworthy of one who pretended to\nsuch great things; but be regarded this as the weakness of the Prophet\u2019s\nhumanity, at the same time believing that in matters of religion he might\nbe divinely inspired. He was still so under the influence of the past\nthat he could not yet break asunder the yoke and bid defiance to Brigham\nand the Priesthood. He told me that now was the time for him to prove his\nobedience, cost what it might; and all the brethren urged him to submit,\nsaying that the Lord would overrule everything for his good.\n\nBelieving this, he broke up his establishment at Salt Lake City, and\nwent, as \u201ccounselled,\u201d to Ogden. There he remained for several months,\nduring which time he was losing money every day. Finding at last that\nhe could stand it no longer, he asked Brigham Young\u2019s permission to\nreturn and recommence his paper in Salt Lake City, for no one then\ndared stir a foot without permission. This was granted, for Brigham had\nnow accomplished his purpose. But some of our friends told me that the\nteachers, when making their weekly visits, were telling the people not\nto take in Brother Stenhouse\u2019s paper again, if he came back to Salt Lake\nCity, for he was apostatizing, and they must not sustain an Apostate.\nNow, I thought, my husband will believe that I was right in my judgment\nof Brigham\u2019s motives.\n\nMy own family and that of the second wife did not accompany my husband to\nOgden; he was therefore quite at home when he returned, but the expense\nof transferring his business from one place to another was perfectly\nruinous. He had not only purchased valuable property, as I before\nmentioned, in the City, but he had also realized quite a comfortable\nlittle fortune by the success of his paper; but now the property had to\nbe mortgaged, and his fortune was, of course, utterly insufficient for\nthese heavy daily losses. Just then, the severe illness of my eldest son,\nin San Francisco, made it necessary that we should leave immediately\nto attend him, for we had received intelligence that he was not at all\nlikely to recover. As it was my own son who was sick, my husband had\nvery naturally determined that I should accompany him; but this brought\non such a severe fit of jealousy on the part of his young wife, who\nalready was by no means too happy, that when we returned, after my son\u2019s\nrecovery, she threatened to obtain a divorce. My husband told me of this,\nbut I had so frequently heard such threats from wives who were unhappy or\nneglected that I thought little about it.\n\nOne day, not long after our return, I was quite surprised to see Mr.\nStenhouse and Joseph A. Young drive up to the door, looking as if\nsomething of great importance had just transpired. Mr. Stenhouse jumped\nout of his buggy and hurriedly gave me a letter, as I thought\u2014at the same\ntime saying, \u201cTake great care of this, for it makes me a free man again.\u201d\nSaying this, he left the house, jumped into the buggy again, and was\ngone, while I stood holding the paper, wondering what it all could mean.\n\nMy husband had told me to \u201ctake care\u201d of the paper. He neither said \u201cread\nit\u201d or \u201cdon\u2019t read it,\u201d and, of course, I was not in the least curious.\nThe envelope was not sealed, so I made up my mind that, though he had not\nsaid so, he must have wished me to read what was inside, and at any rate\nI resolved to risk doing so. To my astonishment I found that the document\nwhich he said set him free was nothing else than a bill of divorce\nbetween him and his young wife. It appeared afterwards that she had been\nto Brother Brigham, had told him of her grievances, and had asked for a\ndivorce.\n\nNow when the wife of any man who is of good standing in the Church, and\nwhom Brigham wishes to honour, comes to him for a divorce, he generally\nsends for the husband _first_, tells him about it, and they talk it\nover together. The husband is counselled to \u201cmake the matter up,\u201d and\na compromise is effected. In the case of my husband, Brigham acted\notherwise. The clerk had been directed to make out the papers, which\nthe second wife signed, and, as far as she was concerned, her marriage\nwas dissolved. My husband was then notified that he was wanted at the\nProphet\u2019s office, and he had a very shrewd guess as to what the nature\nof the business was for which his presence was desired. He waited till\nthe afternoon, when he knew that Brigham would be absent, and then as\nhe was driving out with Joseph A., the Prophet\u2019s son, he drew up before\nthe office and asked Joseph to accompany him inside in order to witness\na little business which he had to transact. Joseph agreed; but when he\nfound what the business really was, he strongly urged my husband not to\nsign the papers, or, at least, to take time and consult with President\nYoung first. Mr. Stenhouse, however, never for a moment doubted that\nBrigham had expected by this hasty move to bring him to his feet, and he\nwould not therefore yield. So, asking the clerk for the papers, he signed\nthem, and Joseph also signed them as a witness; the other witness was\nDavid Mackenzie, Brigham\u2019s clerk. Belinda had already affixed her name.\nTen dollars were then handed over as the usual fee. My husband took one\ncopy of the \u201cbill of divorce,\u201d the wife had a right to a second copy, and\nthe third was deposited in the archives of Zion. My husband had then, as\nwe have seen, hastened home to tell me that he was \u201ca free man:\u201d and yet\nthese two had been \u201csealed\u201d to each other at the altar in the Endowment\nHouse \u201c_for all eternity!_\u201d\n\nThis is the way that divorces are granted in Utah. There is not the\nslightest difficulty about them, if only Brother Brigham is willing. The\nreader would, perhaps, be interested in seeing one of these terrible\ndocuments. I therefore append a true, perfect, and exact copy of my\nhusband\u2019s own bill of divorce. It is a _fac-simile_\u2014type, signatures,\nand all. This is a specimen of an orthodox divorce among the _bon ton_\nin Salt Lake City. Out in the Settlements they do things in a much more\nprimitive style, and some of their documents are rather amusing. The\nfollowing is a correct copy of a Mormon divorce bill taken from the\nrecords of Beaver City:\u2014\n\n                                                     March 8th 1871\n\n    To whomsoever it may concern\n\n    This is to certify in the beginning of 1869 when I gave a bill\n    of divorce to Sarah Ann Lowry I gave to her for the good of her\n    four children the following property viz. A parcel of land of\n    about nine acres enclosed all around with a house of two rooms\n    and one cow and heifer\n\n                                                  WILLIAM C RITTER\n\nI could, if space permitted, give many others equally interesting.\n\n[Illustration: FAC-SIMILE OF A MORMON \u201cBILL OF DIVORCE.\u201d\n\n_To face p. 344._]\n\nI cannot say that I was much grieved at the sight of my husband\u2019s\ndivorce. At the same time, long training in the school of trouble had\nhardened my heart and rendered me almost indifferent, and I cannot say\nthat I very greatly rejoiced. Nature adapts us morally, as well as\nphysically, to the positions which we have to occupy in life. The hand\nof him who labours much becomes hard, the unshodden foot grows horny,\nand the heart which at first is tender and, like the \u00c6olian harp, ready\nto answer to the slightest passing breath, by and by, beneath the rough\nhand of trial and the world, becomes callous and stony, and the roughest\nstorms and the sweetest pleasures alike seem to make little impression\nupon it.\n\nThus it was with me when I received that paper. A few years before, a\nreliable assurance that my husband would never enter into Polygamy would\nhave been to me the realization of my best earthly wishes. But now my\nheart was almost dead, and I felt as if I hardly cared one way or the\nother. If I felt thus, who had still all my darling children around me,\nwho had never missed one dear little face from the fireside or from the\ntable, what must have been endured by those mothers who not only gave\naway their husbands to other wives, but who lost child after child,\nuntil, bereft of all they loved on earth, they could but, like Rachael,\nsit down in ashes and mourn for the dead?\n\nBut the more I thought over what had happened, the more doubtful I felt\nas to what the result would be. That there would be some great change\nin our life, I felt assured; but to me the change was coming almost too\nlate. Then, too, the young wife who in her hasty anger had obtained the\ndivorce. I felt that her happiness must surely be gone, and I could not\nbear the thought that my peace should be purchased with the sorrows of\nanother. Brother Brigham\u2019s part in the matter was also ever present in\nmy mind. That he had resolved to bring ruin upon my husband I did not\nnow for a moment doubt. But if a weak woman\u2019s efforts could in any way\nassist in thwarting his designs, I fully resolved that he never should\nhave the satisfaction of seeing those designs successful. I would stand\nby my husband, I would work for and assist him, and would give not even\na passing thought to what I might have suffered, or remember that he had\never loved others better than myself. I would be to him now the true wife\nthat before God I had vowed to be, for worse as well as for better; and\nhowever I myself might have been wronged, I would, for my part, endeavour\nfaithfully to perform my whole duty to my husband and to God.\n\nAfter I had formed this mental resolution, and had begun to realize our\nnew position, I felt as if awakening from a long dream of many years.\nI was released from the clutches of that frightful nightmare\u2014Polygamy;\nand I could once more take my place beside my husband as his wife. I\nknew that he would have much to contend against, and would need all the\nmoral support that I could accord to him. Brigham\u2019s efforts in respect\nto my husband\u2019s paper had been far too successful, and although it was\nstill carried on, fresh difficulties sprang up every day. My husband had\nbeen deceived by Brigham\u2019s oily manner and plausible way; but to others\nhis intention in sending him away was no secret. A man named Bull, who\nis now and was also at that time employed in the _Deseret News_ office,\nsaid that no one but Mr. Stenhouse had ever been deceived by what the\nProphet had done; it was commonly reported that Brigham intended to ruin\nmy husband, and that when he prophesied that the paper in Ogden should\nbe a great success, he was himself perfectly aware that it was utterly\nimpossible that such could be the case.\n\nWhether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived, I do not wish to say.\nMen who consider themselves inspired, and go on day by day uttering all\nsorts of nonsense and blasphemy, and giving impertinent and mischievous\nadvice in the \u201cname of the Lord,\u201d at last become thoroughly impervious\nto reason, and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own\nsake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a self-made\nfool than a downright knave; and in many of his transactions\u2014perhaps I\nought almost to say _all_\u2014it is clear to every one that he is either\none or the other. Of one thing I am certain\u2014I was fully contented that\nwe should lose all, if only my husband were taken, once and for ever,\nclean out of the meshes of Mormonism. We might have to make a terrible\nsacrifice, but to me it was a sacrifice well worth the making.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXVIII.\n\nMARY BURTON\u2014LIFE\u2019S JOURNEY ENDED: REST AT LAST.\n\n\nIt was about this time that one morning, very early, before I was well\nup, a young girl came to the house in a great hurry, asking to speak to\nme without a moment\u2019s delay.\n\nI threw a wrapper round me, and went out at once to see her. She said she\ncame from the house of Sister Mary Burton, and begged me to come directly\nand see her, for Mary had taken poison, and it was thought she was dying.\n\nNow, I have been so much engaged of late in telling my own sorrows,\nthat Mary Burton has quite dropped out of my story. But it must not be\nsupposed that all that time I saw nothing of my poor friend. On the\ncontrary, I had seen her much more frequently of late than I used to when\nI first came to Salt Lake City. When I last spoke of her it was when she\nwas about to return to Southern Utah, where she and her husband then\nresided. It was evident to me from her conversation, as it must have been\nto the reader, that her faith in Mormonism had even then entirely gone;\nthat she felt her husband\u2019s neglect and unkindness most keenly, and that\nshe had become a miserable, broken-hearted woman. It was very painful to\ncontrast what she now was with what she had been when I first knew her,\nand then to think what a happy wife and mother she might have been if the\nspectre of Mormonism had not crossed her path.\n\nMary and her husband, Elder Shrewsbury, left the Settlements about a year\nafter the time I last mentioned her, and took up their abode in Salt Lake\nCity. Elder Shrewsbury had prospered exceedingly, and when he came to\nSalt Lake he brought with him, besides Mary, his second wife, Ellen, who,\nas we before noticed, had become very much attached to her. The other\nthree wives and their children were left at the farm in Southern Utah. He\nwould probably have brought them all with him, had there been in the city\na house large enough to hold them all. As it was, he purchased a good lot\nabout half a mile from where we resided, with a comfortable house upon\nit; and there his first and second wives lived together. This was the\nman who had solemnly sworn before God, that _he_ would _never_ practise\nPolygamy! But I doubt if Elder Shrewsbury, with his comfortable house in\nthe city, his farm and lands in the South, his fast increasing property,\nand his many wives, felt truly the hundredth part of the happiness which\nhe would have experienced in the devotion of _one_ faithful heart,\neven had it been in the midst of poverty and care. He, however, poor\ninfatuated man, did not think thus; he was actually even now courting\na young girl of about seventeen years of age, who the two wives daily\nexpected would be brought home to aid in building up their husband\u2019s\n\u201cKingdom.\u201d I do not think Mary cared much about this. It was the taking\nof the first plural wife that was her great sorrow. After that, her love\nfor her husband weakened, until it altogether died out, and she did not\ncare how many wives he took.\n\nMary\u2019s high spirit was always urging her into rebellion. In married\nlife both husband and wife give way to each other in a thousand little\nthings, of no consequence in themselves, but quite sufficient, without\nthe presence of love, to sow the seeds of discord. But when love has\nfled, and the husband looks upon his wife\u2014the companion of his youth,\nthe mother of his children\u2014not as the partner of his whole life and the\nsharer of all his joys and sorrows, but as a person whose presence is a\nreproach to him and who is an inconvenience rather than otherwise; and\nwhen the wife regards her husband as one whom formerly she loved with\ntrue devotion, but who has cruelly broken her heart and trampled upon her\nfeelings, and who is nothing to her now but a tyrant whose very presence\nis painful to her, can there then be any forbearance, any of those gentle\nkindnesses, any of those loving forgivenesses, any of those mutual\ntendernesses and sweet confidences which constitute the charm of married\nlife?\n\nIn giving up Mormonism, my unhappy friend gave up, as too many have done,\nfaith in all else. She had lived, as she thought, a life of religion; and\nwhen she found what a terrible mockery of all that is holy that so-called\nreligion was, she cast it aside, thinking that all religion was vain. She\ndid not see that she would have acted just as wisely in rejecting all\nfood because she chanced to partake of some that was poisoned; she did\nnot see that, although the broken reed on which she rested was unable\nto yield her any true support, nevertheless the everlasting foundations\nof eternal truth which God Himself has laid can _never_ be removed;\nand that though creeds and systems may fail and pass away, only to give\nplace to others equally unsatisfactory, yet those divine verities are\nestablished for ever, are beyond the reach of earthly vicissitudes, and\nknow nothing of time or change.\n\nUtterly miserable and sick at heart, Mary cared not whether she lived or\ndied. There was nothing to bind her to life, and beyond the life of this\nworld she was altogether without hope. A more wretched existence it is\nscarcely possible to imagine.\n\nWhile they were still in the Settlements, she treated the other wives\nwith the greatest contempt, sitting by them at the table or passing them\nin the house without vouchsafing a look or a word. Her husband, as might\nbe expected, avoided her whenever it was possible, and the other wives\nreturned her coldness and disdain, and in turn annoyed her as much as\nthey could when they were not too busy looking after one another. It\nwould be impossible to picture a house more divided against itself than\nwas that of Elder Shrewsbury.\n\nWhen the two wives, Ellen and Mary, lived together with their husband in\nSalt Lake City, Mary of course had no opportunity of showing her hatred\nand contempt for the polygamic wives. But towards her husband she evinced\na cold disdain, as if he were now nothing at all to her\u2014as if her very\nheart itself had been withered. For Ellen, who, since Elder Shrewsbury\nhad taken his other wives, had clung to her with a child-like affection,\nand to her own little girl alone, she showed that deep and constant love\nwhich she had once lavished upon such an unworthy object.\n\nShe used to come to me and tell me all her griefs; and in a passion of\nrage and tears she would hurl defiance at Mormonism and curse bitterly\nthe system that had wrecked her life. Then I would soothe her, and speak\ncalmly to her, and try to place matters in their best light; and she\nwould sit and listen in a painful state of apathy, as if she cared for\nnone of these things. Presently she would rise and go, and then, perhaps,\nI would not see her for weeks together, unless I chanced to call upon her\nat her own house. Sometimes, for days and even weeks at a time, she would\nshut herself up in her room and refuse to see her husband or any one\nelse, except her little girl, who slept in the same room with her, and\nwho at such times used to bring in what food they wanted; for in these\nmelancholy fits she would not even let the servants come near her.\n\nThere was a little table near the window, and from the casement of the\nwindow could be seen in the far distance the lofty ranges of the Wahsatch\nMountains. And sitting at that table, gazing from that window, with her\ncheek resting upon her hand, Mary would watch the whole day long, as if\nentranced in some ecstatic vision. Her little girl\u2014a child of winning\nways, bashful to an extreme and very pretty, but, though so young, with a\nlook of wistful sadness upon her childish face\u2014had become accustomed to\nher mother\u2019s ways; and when one of these long spells of melancholy came\nupon her, she would either steal out quietly and wander away for a long\nwalk all by herself\u2014for she never played with the other children in her\nfather\u2019s house\u2014or else, as was more frequently the case, she would sit\ndown on the ground near her mother and silently amuse herself with a book\nor some childish toy.\n\nTo my mind there was something inexpressibly painful in all this. When\nMary did not come to see me, I would call round at her husband\u2019s house,\nand try to draw her out from her melancholy seclusion. It was very seldom\nthat I saw Elder Shrewsbury, and I cannot say that I wished to do so. He\nhad, as his wife told me, undergone a complete change since I knew him in\nEngland. The open look, the upright bearing, the earnestness of speech,\nwhich then characterized him, were now gone for ever. He was still a\nhandsome man, rather portly, and evidently well to do in the world; but\nthere were lines about his eyes which ought not to have been seen in the\nface of a man of his years; and his lips, without uttering a word, told\ntheir own story.\n\nHeartbroken and wretched, weary of life, and yet with no hopeful\nassurance of life beyond the grave, poor Mary lived on year after year,\nwhile those who seemed to dance in the very sunshine of existence were\ncut off like the summer flowers in the harvest-field. Lately, however, I\nthought I saw symptoms of a change. I noticed that she was perceptibly\ngrowing thinner and thinner; her eye seemed brighter, and there was\nalways a flush upon her cheek, which would have been beautiful had it not\nbeen for the seal of melancholy which was stamped upon every feature. But\nthe brightness of the eye, and the flush upon the cheek, were not symbols\nof health, but the imprint of the finger of death.\n\nShe did not know this. Though she longed to die, she little thought that\ndeath was so near her. Sometimes she would talk almost happily of the old\nby-gone days; then she would sit brooding over her griefs; and then again\nshe would talk anxiously about the future of her little daughter. I had\nseen other wives as wretched as poor Mary was\u2014ay, more so, for they had\nabject, grinding poverty superadded to all their woes; but, more than for\nany other I felt for my poor friend, and exerted myself to the uttermost\nto comfort her. In this I had been to a certain extent successful. She\nwould appear for a time a little more cheerful, but it was not long\nbefore she relapsed into her habitual melancholy way.\n\nThat which troubled me most of late, in my intercourse with Mary, was\nthe fact that she was always talking about _death_. This certainly was\nno matter of surprise to me, but it was very painful. Over and over\nagain she would discuss the question whether, under _any_ circumstances,\nsuicide could be justified, and whether if any one, in absolute despair,\nwere to take away their own life, God would ever pardon them.\n\nI would never enter into such subjects as these, for I considered that\nsuch conversation showed a morbid condition of mind, and could not\npossibly be of any good to either of us, and would only suggest harmful\nthoughts. But again and again Mary reverted to the subject, and I really\nat last began to grow quite anxious about her.\n\nIt was not, therefore, with surprise that I received the summons that\nmorning. I did not wait to ask any questions about the poisoning, but\nhastened to the bedside of my unfortunate friend, trusting that I might\nyet be in time to render some assistance.\n\nI found her lying on the bed, partly dressed, and, as it seemed to me\nat first, asleep. There was, at the bedside, and bending over her, the\nsecond wife, who was in as much trouble as if the sufferer had been her\nown sister. The poor girl had been weeping, and was evidently very much\ndistressed. There was also present in the room another sister, whom I\nrecognized as a friend of Mary\u2019s. The little daughter of the unfortunate\nwoman was there as well. One person, whom every one would naturally have\nexpected to see at the bedside of a dying wife under such circumstances,\nwas conspicuous by his absence\u2014I mean, of course, Elder Shrewsbury\nhimself.\n\nI sat down on the bed, beside poor Mary, and took her hand in mine. It\nwas cold but damp, and her breathing was somewhat heavy. She was still\nunconscious. I asked the pretty pale-faced girl\u2014the second wife\u2014who was\nbending over her, how it had all happened, and whether they had had a\ndoctor.\n\n\u201cOh, yes,\u201d she said, sobbing all the time; \u201cwe sent for the doctor, and\nhe has only just gone. He said he had done all he could, and that we\ncould let her sleep on now.\u201d\n\nShe then told me what had taken place. It appeared that the night before\nElder Shrewsbury had gone up into Mary\u2019s room to speak to her about some\nmatter of importance. Although living in the same house, she had not\nseen him for several weeks, and the mere fact of being in his presence\nagitated her. He told her he had come to talk about her child\u2014little\nMary, called Mary after her mother. For some reason or other, which\nnobody then seemed to understand, Elder Shrewsbury had taken a fancy\nthat the child should be separated from her mother; he wanted to send\nher to stay with his other family in the Settlements, and it was for\nthis purpose he came to see Mary that night. It certainly did seem the\nrefinement of cruelty to separate the child from her poor mother, who\nwould thus have become, as one might say, doubly widowed; and I am\nstrongly inclined to question whether Elder Shrewsbury\u2019s motives were of\nthe purest kind. It is, however, only just to state that subsequently,\nwhen speaking to a friend about the matter, he said that he had long\nnoticed in his wife what he considered were incipient symptoms of\nmadness, and he thought that his duty towards the child imperatively\ndemanded that he should immediately take her away from her mother. He\nadded\u2014as was indeed true\u2014that his other wives in the South would have\ntaken the greatest care of her.\n\nMary was furious when the proposal was made to her. She bitterly\nupbraided her husband for all his cruelty and neglect; she cursed him for\nhis perfidy, and she avowed that nothing but death should separate her\nfrom her little girl.\n\nElder Shrewsbury trembled at the anger of his poor forsaken wife, and he\ncrept out of her room and downstairs. But Mary could not be appeased.\nShe went to the room of the second wife\u2014the only creature in the house,\nbesides her little girl, with whom she sometimes condescended to hold\nintercourse\u2014and there she acted in a very wild and extravagant way. It\nwas with great difficulty that she was at last persuaded to lie down\nand take a little rest. She would not go to her own room; so Ellen\u2014the\nsecond wife\u2014persuaded her to remain with her all the night. She lay down,\nbut did not sleep. She muttered strange things, and by-and-by sat up in\nthe bed and spoke as if people were present whom she had known years\nand years ago. Ellen was frightened; but out of love to Mary, and not\nwishing that others should see her in that crazy condition, she did not\ncall for help, thinking that presently she would fall asleep, and in the\nmorning all would be right. But the long night passed away, and just\nbefore daybreak Ellen fell into a sort of fitful slumber. It would seem\nthat just then poor Mary discovered for the first time that she was not\nsleeping in her own room, and that her little daughter was not with her.\nDistracted as her mind was, she probably thought that they had stolen the\nchild away, and went in search of her.\n\nShe found her way to her own room, and then what happened no one, of\ncourse, could tell. She must have seen that her child was safe; and it\nis not unlikely that, reassured on that point, she felt that she needed\nrest, and thought that it would be best to take some sedative to produce\nthe sleep which she believed would restore her to herself again. She had\nin her room a little leather medicine-chest\u2014a very useful article for any\none travelling, or to keep in the house\u2014and to that she must have had\nresort. Certain it is, that when, an hour later, Ellen awoke and went to\nsee what had become of her husband\u2019s first wife, she found the little\nmedicine-chest open upon the bureau, Mary lying upon the bed, apparently\nasleep, and a faint sickly smell, which one better versed in such things\nwould have known was the smell of opium, pervading the whole room.\n\nEllen began to scream and call for help, and one of the women about the\nhouse, who was up at that early hour, came to see what was the matter.\nShe, upon hearing what Ellen said, rushed downstairs shrieking for\nassistance. Fortunately for every one, Elder Shrewsbury, who had just\nrisen, was standing in the hall-way below. He took hold of the noisy\nwoman and asked her what was the matter; and after hearing all she had\nto say he sent her to attend to her domestic duties, with a strict\ninjunction to say nothing to a living soul about what she had seen or\nheard.\n\nElder Shrewsbury then went up to Mary\u2019s room, and there he learned\nthat all that the silly woman had just said to him was quite true. He,\nhowever, betrayed no emotion. Very calmly he put the stopper back into\nthe laudanum bottle, then looked at his watch and hesitated, all the\nwhile that pale-faced Ellen was looking anxiously at him, wanting to know\nwhat she could _do_. After a few moments of indecision, Elder Shrewsbury\nturned to Ellen and said, \u201cYes; go for the doctor.\u201d\n\nEllen flew upon her mission.\n\nMeanwhile, Elder Shrewsbury looked towards the bed where poor Mary\nlay\u2014Mary, for whose love he had perjured his soul\u2014Mary who never would\nhave been his had he not given that sacred promise, the breaking of\nwhich made him an outlaw from heaven and a thing to be despised of men.\nHe looked for one single moment at his poor wife as she lay there, and\nthen he turned upon his heel and went out of the room. For the wealth\nof all the world I would not feel as that man felt, if the thoughts\nwhich then crowded upon his brain were what, for the sake of our common\nhumanity, I trust they were. The remembrance of the life which his folly\nor fanaticism\u2014it matters little which\u2014had blasted; the thought of that\nsolemn vow which he had taken to love her only and for ever; the sight\nof that dear one to whom he had once plighted his troth, now desolate,\nforsaken, almost maniac in her wretchedness. Oh God! what a curse was\n_there_ for any man\u2019s soul to bear!\n\nThe physician, when he came, administered an emetic and made them walk\nthe patient about the room. Ellen and the friend of Mary who was present\nvolunteered for this service. They supported her, one on each side, and\npaced her round and round the room, thus compelling her to exertion;\nand from time to time they made her swallow doses of strong coffee, in\nwhich a little brandy had been mixed. When, at length, signs of returning\nconsciousness were apparent, the physician left, promising to call again\nin the course of the morning.\n\nIt was then that some one present thought of sending for me, and I\narrived not long after the physician had gone. I was the only person,\noutside the family, beside the friend whom I have mentioned, who knew of\nanything that had taken place\u2014so careful were they that the matter should\nnot get abroad; and I should certainly not have been summoned had it not\nbeen for the close intimacy which existed between Mary and myself, which\nmade us more like sisters than friends. The reader must not, however,\nsuppose that in relating this I am even now betraying a trust; for my\nfriends in Utah know as well as I do that so many unhappy wives have in\ntheir desperation been driven to attempt self-destruction, that having\nno clue in the name, which solely out of love for my poor friend, I have\nall through this narrative given her, they will not know who to fix\nupon as the person to whom I allude.[3] There is, however, _one_ still\nliving\u2014_he_ will know\u2014let his own conscience be his accuser.\n\nIn about half an hour\u2019s time, Mary began to recognize those who were\naround her, but she did not seem disposed to speak. She opened her eyes\nand looked dreamily at me for a long time, but the slight pressure of\nmy hand was her only recognition of my presence. I bent down over her\nand whispered a few assuring words in her ear, and for a moment a faint,\nweary smile lighted up her thin, pale face. It was not like the sweet\nsmiles of the by-gone days which used to suffuse her whole countenance\nwith sunshine\u2014it was but the very ghost of a smile. Presently she sank\ninto a gentle slumber; but I still sat by her on the bed, holding her\nhand in mine, and I remained there for two or three hours. Then, after\nseeing that everything was at hand which she could possibly want if she\nawoke, and assured by Ellen that she would not leave her until she was\nable to sit up, I left for my own home.\n\nAt the bottom of the stairs, in the hall-way, I was confronted by Elder\nShrewsbury himself. This surprised me, as hitherto he had most sedulously\navoided coming in contact with me. He gave me one searching glance, as\nif to read my thoughts, and then said: \u201cSister Stenhouse, this is a most\nunhappy affair, but say nothing about it\u2014no good can come of talking of\nsuch matters.\u201d\n\nI assured him that for Mary\u2019s sake\u2014not for his\u2014I would not speak of what\nhad transpired; but when he held out his hand for me to shake, I affected\nnot to see it, but wished him good-morning, and left the house.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nFor some time she said nothing to me about the sad event which had so\ngreatly troubled us, and when at length she hesitatingly alluded to it,\nI was much relieved to find that the taking of the deadly drug was on\nher part wholly accidental. It was as I from the first suspected\u2014for I\nknew and loved my dear friend too well to wrong her even by a thought.\nCruelly as she had suffered, wretched and miserable as she was, bitterly\nas she felt, the instincts of her heart were too true and her nature too\nnoble to allow of her seeking oblivion from her troubles in voluntary\nand premeditated death, as I have known was the case with many wretched\nMormon wives. She had only thought to take an opiate to soothe the\nfeverish excitement which had almost bereft her of reason, and, in the\nweak and enfeebled condition in which she was, the draught had been too\npowerful for her. Guiltless as she was, she dreaded that others might\nimpute wrong motives to her in what she had done; and even to me she\nspoke of her sickness painfully and with hesitation.\n\nAfter this, I called day after day upon my poor friend, until she was\nsufficiently recovered to walk about and even to get out of doors a\nlittle. The story of the unhappy attempt which she was supposed to have\nmade upon her life, by some means, however, got rumoured abroad, and she\nheard of it. She said nothing at the time, but I believe it preyed upon\nher mind. Weak and failing in health, as she long had been, the shock\nwhich her system had received was too much for her, and it was evident to\nevery one who saw her that her earthly trials would soon be ended. She\nsank gradually, and life ebbed from her gently and without pain. A few\ndays before she died, she sent for me, and I spent several hours with\nher. I might say that they were happy hours; for the near prospect of\ndeath seemed to have dispelled all those gloomy fears of the future life\nwhich had for so many years troubled her soul; and she now looked forward\nwith peaceful resignation to her approaching change. Death came at last\nto her when she was sleeping, and she passed away tranquilly and without\na sigh. I almost rejoiced when I heard that at last her weary journey\nwas over, and she was at rest. I loved her with the fondest affection,\nand shall never think of her without bitter feelings towards that unholy\nsystem which brought her to an untimely grave.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XXXIX.\n\nMY HUSBAND DISFELLOWSHIPPED\u2014WE APOSTATIZE\u2014BRUTAL OUTRAGE UPON MY HUSBAND\nAND MYSELF.\n\n\nNotwithstanding all my own personal troubles and the difficulties which\nsurrounded us, the loss of my dear friend affected me very deeply.\nAnd yet her story is the same as might be told of hundreds of other\nEnglish girls who have been lured from their happy homes and have died\nbroken-hearted and neglected in Utah.\n\nNow came that change in our life which I had so long hoped for, but which\nhad always seemed to me so very far distant. We had been tossed by many\na storm, but the violence of this last gale was such that it forced us\nclean out of the sea of Mormonism, and landed us high and dry upon the\nfirm ground of Apostasy.\n\nAbout the time when my husband returned with his paper to Salt Lake\nCity, the _Utah Magazine_, a liberal journal just struggling into\nexistence, began to call in question some of Brigham\u2019s measures; and\nthe editors, who were all men of some mark in the Mormon Church,\npresumed to hint that the people had rights and privileges as well as\nthe Priesthood. This was done in a very quiet, unobtrusive way; but it\nwas, nevertheless, pronounced rebellion and apostasy. My husband\u2019s paper\nwas silent upon the subject; and, in consequence, he was suspected of\nbeing in league with the enemy. This was another good reason why the\npeople should be \u201ccounselled\u201d not to take the _Telegraph_. Although he\nwas not yet sufficiently advanced in thought to give much direct aid to\nthe questioners of Brigham\u2019s authority, I saw with pleasure that he did\nnot wish to oppose them; the tone of his paper was evidently changing,\nand the articles which appeared from time to time gave serious offence\nto Brigham Young. This, however, was not all his wrong-doing; he had of\nlate been neglectful in his attendance at the \u201cSchool of the Prophets\u201d\u2014a\nmeeting which was then held every Saturday for the benefit of the Elders.\n\nTogether with the editors of the _Utah Magazine_, Mr. Stenhouse and\none or two others were summoned to appear at the School, to give their\nreasons for previous non-attendance. This they had all along anticipated,\nand were therefore not surprised at the summons, but they hardly expected\nthat Brigham would act so precipitately; for, without waiting to hear\ntheir reasons, he disfellowshipped them all for irregular attendance.\n\nBrigham\u2019s assumption of the right to disfellowship men from the Church\nbecause of irregular attendance at the School was a stretch of authority\nwhich startled my husband: \u201cWhat will he not do next?\u201d he said. \u201cTo\nsubmit would be to acknowledge him absolute, and myself a slave. There is\nbut one alternative now\u2014slavery or freedom. Cost me what it may, I _will_\nbe free!\u201d\n\nIn August of the same year my husband sent a respectful and kindly letter\nto the Bishop of our ward, stating that he had no faith in Brigham\u2019s\nclaim to an \u201cInfallible Priesthood,\u201d and that he considered that he ought\nto be cut off from the Church. I added a postscript, stating that I\nwished to share my husband\u2019s fate\u2014little thinking that within three days\nmy request would be answered in a too literal manner.\n\nA little after ten o\u2019clock on the Saturday night succeeding our\nwithdrawal from the Church, we were returning home together. The night\nwas very dark, and as our residence was in the suburbs of the City, north\nof the Temple block, and the road very quiet, the walk was a very lonely\none and perhaps not altogether too safe. We had gone about a third of\nthe way, when we suddenly saw four men come out from under some trees\nat a little distance from us. In the gloom of the night we could only\nsee them very indistinctly, and could not distinguish who they were.\nThey separated; and two of them came forward and stumbled up against\nus, and two passed on beside us. For a moment I thought that they were\nintoxicated, but it was soon clear that they were acting from design.\nAs soon as they approached, they seized hold of my husband\u2019s arms, one\non each side, and held him firmly, thus rendering him almost powerless.\nThey were all masked, for it was supposed that thus we should not be able\nto discover their identity, and that if by any chance an investigation\nshould subsequently be made into the doings of that night it would not be\npossible for any one to witness against them.\n\nThe movements of the two men who held my husband were somewhat impeded by\nmy clinging to his arm, and they seemed to hesitate for a moment. The\nother two, who stood a few feet distant from us, also hesitated. One of\nthe men who held my husband said to them, \u201cBrethren, do your duty.\u201d We\nrecognized his voice at once as that of a policeman, Philips, a young man\nwhom we had known in Southampton, England, when a child.\n\nIn an instant I saw them raise their arms, as if taking aim, and for\none brief second I thought that our end had now surely come, and that\nwe, like so many obnoxious persons before us, were about to be murdered\nfor the great sin of Apostasy. This, I firmly believe, would have been\nmy husband\u2019s fate, if I had not chanced to be with him, or had I run\naway\u2014they would probably have beaten him to death\u2014they were two of the\nregular and two of the special policemen\u2014and then, the next morning, they\nwould have \u201cdiscovered\u201d the body, and it would have been said that he\nhad been murdered by the Gentiles or Apostates in a personal quarrel. My\npresence somewhat disarranged their plans, and it was that probably which\ncaused the two men to hesitate, not knowing what would be considered\ntheir \u201cduty\u201d under present circumstances.\n\nA much less noble fate than assassination was reserved for us. The\nwretches, although otherwise well armed, were not holding revolvers\nin their hands as I first supposed. They were furnished with huge\ngarden-syringes charged with the most disgusting filth, in the\npreparation of which they took especial pains. So kindred to their own\nbase natures was such an act, that I doubt not they found it quite a\nlabour of love. The moment the syringes were pointed at us, my husband,\nthinking a shot was coming, moved his head, and thus to a certain\nextent escaped the full force of the discharge. I, however, was not so\nfortunate. My hair, bonnet, face, clothes, person\u2014every inch of my body,\nevery shred that I wore\u2014were in an instant saturated, from head to foot.\n\nThe villains, when they had perpetrated this disgusting and brutal\noutrage, turned and fled. We ran after them for some little distance,\nbut we had no arms and nothing with which to defend ourselves; in fact,\nwe pursued them instinctively rather than with any idea of overtaking\nthem. There was another man standing a little distance off in the\ndirection in which they were running, and we could not tell how many\nmight be concealed. The place, too, was dark and lonely, for they had\ngone behind the Temple block\u2014a fit corner for murderers to skulk in; a\nconvenient spot for the commission of any unholy deed. I was burning\nwith indignation, and longed to revenge myself upon the brutal cowards\nwho had assaulted us. In my anger I called upon them to come and kill us\noutright, for I would have preferred death to such an indignity. I almost\nwonder that they did not take me at my word and return and finish their\nfoul work, for they have long acted upon the principle that \u201cdead men\ntell no tales.\u201d\n\nI shall never forget that night. I declared that henceforth I would\ntear from my heart every association, every memory, every affection,\nwhich still remained to bind me to Mormonism; not one solitary link\nshould be left. Henceforth I would be the declared and open enemy of the\nPriesthood. To the utmost of my power\u2014weak though I might be\u2014I would\narouse the women of Utah to a sense of the wrongs which they endured; I\nwould proclaim to the world the disgrace which Mormonism is to the great\nAmerican nation, the foul blot that it is upon Christianity and the\ncivilization of the age!\n\nMy son-in-law, Joseph A. Young, on the night of the attack, offered a\nreward to the chief of the police for the apprehension of the ruffians;\nbut we knew well enough they would never be discovered. A few Gentile\nfriends also offered a reward of five hundred dollars for any evidence\nthat might lead to their identification; but nothing, of course, was\nelicited.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XL.\n\nAMUSING TROUBLES OF MY TALKATIVE FRIEND\u2014CHARLOTTE WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR!\n\n\nNot long after our separation from the Mormon Church, I received another\nvisit from my talkative friend.\n\nAs, according to her custom, she was making a preliminary \u201cfuss\u201d at the\ndoor before entering, I heard her voice, and was at a loss to conjecture\nwhether she came for the purpose of lamenting my apostasy and entreating\nmy immediate return to the bosom of the Church, or to condole with me\nconcerning the brutal outrage to which we had been subjected. In both\nsuppositions I was, however, mistaken\u2014she came to talk about her own woes.\n\n\u201cYou\u2019ll be surprised, my dear Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cto see\nme looking so utterly miserable. I\u2019m sure I must look the picture of\ndespair, and I feel it. You don\u2019t know what I\u2019ve been suffering, and how\nshamefully I have been used.\u201d\n\n\u201cYou look very well I think, but I\u2019m sorry to hear you have met with any\ndifficulty,\u201d said I, when she stopped for a moment to take breath.\n\n\u201cOh, you may say so,\u201d she replied, \u201cbut you know you don\u2019t think so in\nyour heart. Why, I did not even stop to put on my bonnet straight,\u201d she\nsaid, stealing a look at the glass, \u201cand I ran all the way here, for I\nfelt as if I should die if I could not pour my sorrows into the bosom\nof some faithful-hearted friend. Oh, I have been treated shamefully,\nand I feel it the more as you know what a reserved woman I am, and how\nseldom it is that I open my lips about family matters, even to my dearest\nfriends!\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, but,\u201d I said, \u201cwhat really is the matter? You have not yet told me\nwhat your trouble is.\u201d\n\n\u201cSister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cyou have had a few little vexations in\nthe course of your life, I know, but they are nothing to compare to the\nfrightful indignities that I have suffered in the course of the last few\ndays. I never thought I should come to this! I hate every man in the\nplace, and I detest my husband most of all, and I loathe his wives, and I\nexecrate Brother Brig\u2014\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy, Sister Ann, what can have happened?\u201d I exclaimed, interrupting her.\n\n\u201cHappened!\u201d she cried, starting from her chair in indignation, \u201cI tell\nyou, Sister Stenhouse, nothing has \u2018_happened_\u2019\u2014nothing was done by\nchance\u2014he did it all with his eyes open and against my advice\u2014I tell you\nhe did it on _purpose_!\u201d\n\n\u201cDid _what_?\u201d I asked, \u201cand _who_ was it that did it?\u201d But by this time I\nhad begun to form a shrewd guess _who_ the culprit was.\n\n\u201cWhy, he married that wretched little shrimp of a girl, with blue eyes\nand red hair, and a die-away, lackadaisical manner\u2014it was _he_\u2014my husband\nHenry\u2014he married her this very day, and I tell you he did it on purpose!\u201d\n\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry that it annoys you,\u201d I said; \u201cbut really I am surprised,\nafter all you have said to me, that you should not care if he had taken\nhalf-a-dozen wives, to say nothing of the one he married this morning,\nand who you say is only a very little one.\u201d\n\n\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter the size, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cbut the colour\nof the eyes and the shade of the hair matters a great deal. If that\nmiserable little minx had had black hair or green eyes, I daresay Henry\nwould not have cared two straws about her, unless he had done it out of\nsheer perversity, for all men are made of the same contrary stuff. But he\ndotes on blue eyes; I heard him myself tell her so one day, when I was\nlistening to them through the crack of the door, and they didn\u2019t know\nI was so near. But my wounded feelings would not suffer me to remain\nsilent, and I bounced in, and, said I, \u2018Henry, how dare you talk such\noutrageous nonsense to that child in my presence?\u2019\n\n\u201c\u2018But I didn\u2019t know you were present,\u2019 he said.\n\n\u201c\u2018I tell you,\u2019 said I, \u2018I\u2019m quite disgusted with you; a man with three\nwives\u2014and _me_ one of them\u2014to go talking twaddle to a little chattering\nhussy like that, with her cat\u2019s eyes and her red hair!\u2019\n\n\u201c\u2018Golden hair, my dear,\u2019 he said, \u2018Charlotte\u2019s hair is golden.\u2019\n\n\u201c\u2018I say _red!_\u2014it\u2019s straight, staring _red_\u2014as red as red can be,\u2019 I\ntold him; and then we had a regular fight over it. I don\u2019t mean that\nwe came to blows, but we had some hot words, and he went out and left\nus two alone. Then that young hussy was impudent, and I don\u2019t know\nhow it was, but somehow, when we left off our conversation, I found\nsome of Charlotte\u2019s red hair between my fingers; and there\u201d\u2014she said,\ninnocently, holding out quite a respectable sized tuft of auburn\nhair\u2014\u201cthere; I put it to you, Sister Stenhouse, _is_ that red, or is it\nnot?\u201d\n\nI was about to reply; but, without waiting an instant, she dashed the\nstolen locks to the ground, and said, \u201cI daresay, Sister Stenhouse, you\nthink me a little hasty, and yet among my friends I\u2019ve always been quite\nproverbial for the calmness and evenness of my temper; but I\u2019ve been\ntried very much lately, and\u2014if only you would not keep interrupting me,\ndear!\u2014if you\u2019d just allow _me_ to say a word or two in my turn!\u2014I\u2019d tell\nyou something that would open your eyes to the ingratitude and wickedness\nof men. I don\u2019t wonder that you have left the Church; I am thinking of\ndoing so myself, and you won\u2019t wonder at it when you hear what I\u2019ve got\nto say. What do you say to _my_ leaving the Church? Won\u2019t people be\nastonished? But I declare, Sister Stenhouse, I _do_ seriously mean to\nleave the Church as soon as I get my new bonnet\u2014\u201d\n\n\u201cWhy your new bonnet?\u201d I asked in surprise.\n\n\u201cBecause, dear, I shall become an object of interest. All the sisters\nwill have their eyes upon me, and even Gentiles will say, \u2018There\u2019s a lady\nwho had courage to leave the Mormon Church and quit an ungrateful husband\nwho was not worthy of her.\u2019 And you know, Sister Stenhouse, it would not\ndo to have people looking at me and talking about me before I got my new\nbonnet.\u201d\n\nThis was a rather amusing reason for delay in changing one\u2019s religion,\nbut it was quite characteristic of my friend. So I humoured her a little,\nand tried to get her to explain how it all came about.\n\n\u201cOh, yes,\u201d she said, \u201cI ought to have told you that before, but I was to\nangry at what had just happened that I forgot everything else. The fact\nis, my husband is _a man_, and there\u2019s no calculating what a man will do.\nWomen, you know, are proverbial for the constancy of their affections\nand their slowness in changing their minds\u2014you know when you\u2019re talking\nto a woman that she _is_ a woman, and you know exactly what to do with\nher; but with a man it\u2019s quite different. You can\u2019t calculate a man\u2014you\ncan\u2019t fathom him. When you\u2019ve been thinking one way and another, and at\nlast begin to fancy you know what to do, why then, a man\u2014if it\u2019s him\nyou\u2019ve got to do with\u2014will turn just round, and while you\u2019ve been making\neverything smooth for him to do one thing, he\u2019ll go and do exactly the\nopposite. I know what men are by this time, and I speak from experience.\n\n\u201cIt was just so with Henry and this girl. He has gone quite against the\ngrain with me, and I feel it all the more because he used to be so quiet\nand anxious to do exactly what I wanted. But he doesn\u2019t care a fig now\nwhether I\u2019m pleased or not\u2014he only thinks about this red-headed girl. In\nfact, he\u2019s quite crazy about her, and if there\u2019s any sin in apostasy, you\nmay remember that it was he who drove me into it.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat seems hardly fair,\u201d I said, \u201cfor you knew all along that it was his\nprivilege to take more wives.\u201d\n\n\u201cThat\u2019s very true,\u201d she exclaimed; \u201cit _is_ his privilege to take wives,\nbut it\u2019s _my_ privilege to choose them for him. I\u2019m a good Mormon, and I\ndon\u2019t mind how many wives my husband takes, if he\u2019ll only act reasonably\nabout getting them. But, Sister Stenhouse, I do _not_ want a parcel of\ngirls about the house. I\u2019m so far from wishing to usurp authority, that,\nas I told Henry, I would not mind if his wives were even a little older\nthan me, but I won\u2019t have them younger. It makes Henry look so silly.\nWhy, to see him with that girl Charlotte, now, who isn\u2019t more than half\nmy own age\u2014no; I don\u2019t mean that, I mean she\u2019s slightly younger than I\nam\u2014you might really almost imagine that he thought more of her than he\ndoes of me. I know he doesn\u2019t, for he has told me so; but any one to see\nthem together would get quite a wrong impression.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen did he marry Charlotte?\u201d I asked. \u201cYou spoke so hastily, Sister\nAnn, that I did not quite understand you.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen? Why he married her this morning, as I thought I told you; he has\nonly just done it. He said he was anxious to be in a quiet state of mind\nto-day, so I gave him a piece of _my_ mind, and he was so astonished at\nthe pointed way in which I explained to him what a fool he\u2019d been making\nof himself that he quite showed it in his face. The fact is, Sister\nStenhouse, he has lately become rather more than I could manage.\u201d\n\n\u201cWell, Sister,\u201d I said, \u201cI should have thought that his finding a wife\nfor himself would have saved you a world of trouble.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh dear no, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she replied; \u201cit was trouble I did not\nwant to be saved. Men have no business, in my opinion, to choose their\nown wives, after the first. I know the men do do it, one and all; but\nit\u2019s a shameful stretch of authority. I should like to know whether it\nis not of much more consequence to me what wife my husband has than it\nis to him? However, I resolved that my husband should never marry the\nred-headed girl, and I told him so; and what do you think the inhuman\ncreature said? \u2018You\u2019ve been persuading me all these years,\u2019 he said, \u2018to\ntake another wife, although I\u2019ve already got three, and now I\u2019ve begun to\ndo so you blame me. I think I\u2019ve as good a right as any one to say who\nI\u2019ll marry and who I won\u2019t.\u2019 Did you ever hear of such ingratitude? Would\nyou hear of such a thing from _your_ husband, Sister Stenhouse?\u201d\n\nI told her that with Mormonism my husband had given up Polygamy, and she\ncontinued:\n\n\u201cWell, I tried to bring him to reason, but it was of no use. And then I\ntold him that the girl should never set foot inside the house while I was\nin it. This was a very unfortunate speech, for I do believe that up to\nthat time he wanted as much as possible to keep the girl out of my way;\nbut the moment I said that, to show his dignity, I suppose, he declared\nthat she should come to tea with us that very afternoon, and he would go\nand fetch her; and he did so. I wouldn\u2019t go down to tea at first, though\nboth the other wives were there and he sent up for me, but my pride would\nnot allow me to stoop. At last I got tired of being all alone, and as it\noccurred to me that perhaps they might be enjoying themselves without me,\nI resolved to go down and see if I could not do something to annoy them.\nDown I went, and Henry, all smiling, introduced the girl to me as \u2018Sister\nCharlotte,\u2019 talking of her as if he had known her for years. Was it not\nshameful?\u201d\n\n\u201cIt must have been very awkward for you,\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cIt was indeed, Sister Stenhouse, and I soon made it awkward for _them_.\nI assure you, after I joined them, there was not a soul present who had a\nmoment\u2019s comfort till that girl went away. My husband, however, took her\nhome, and from that very day he seemed resolved to have the upper hand.\nHe never for a moment would listen to a word I said about the girl; he\nbrought her in every evening and took her to the theatre constantly, and\npaid her ten times more attention than he ever paid me. I wasn\u2019t jealous,\nSister Stenhouse; no one\u2014as I said before\u2014could ever suspect _me_ of\njealousy, but I _did_ hate that girl. If he had not loved her, I can\u2019t\nsay whether I myself might not have liked her. But the very fact of him\nloving her makes me detest her; but it\u2019s only a little proper pride on my\npart\u2014I\u2019m not in the least jealous, oh dear no!\u201d\n\n\u201cOf course not,\u201d I said.\n\n\u201cI don\u2019t know about that,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019ve borne enough from those two\nto drive fifty women crazy with jealousy, and things went on from bad\nto worse, until the other day when, as I told you, we had that little\nunpleasantness. My husband, when he came back, was downright angry, and\nmade use of shocking language, and told me that, if he could not have\npeace in the house, he would have me board out by myself in some other\npart of the city. He said that I had scratched Charlotte\u2019s face and torn\nout her hair; but that was quite untrue, as I told him; and as for the\nhair which fell out, it was all an accident. He said that Charlotte did\nnot like such accidents, and that he would not put up with it. He was\nvery cross and disagreeable all the rest of the day, and made me quite\nmiserable and broken-hearted; and the next day, to wind it all up, he\ntold me that he and Charlotte had arranged the day of the wedding. I\nwas forced to go over with him to the Endowment House, to give him that\ndetestable little vixen. I tell you, Sister Stenhouse, I hate her; and\noh, oh dear, what _shall_ I do now my husband has fallen in love with\nher!\u201d\n\nHere, to my infinite astonishment, she rose from her seat and rushed\nabout the room, wringing her hands and exclaiming, \u201cOh dear! oh dear!\u201d\nShe then threw herself right down on the couch and actually burst into\ntears, crying out, \u201cOh dear, what shall I do with my Henry and that girl!\u201d\n\nAfter that I did not see her for several weeks, and then I accidentally\nmet her in the street, and asked her why she had not called upon me\nlately.\n\n\u201cOh, Sister Stenhouse,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019m delighted to see you! You\u2019ve been\nconstantly in my thoughts, but I\u2019ve been so hard at work\u2014oh, _so_ busy,\nthat I really had not time for anything\u2014not even to apostatize. Then,\ntoo, you see I\u2019ve had my hands full. If you want to make a man slight one\nwoman and get tired of her, there\u2019s nothing like putting a nicer woman\nthan her in his way. So I reconsidered the matter and resolved, cost what\nit might, I\u2019d get another wife for my husband right away. I don\u2019t care\nnow whether she\u2019s old or young, ugly or pretty, so long as she cuts out\nthat detestable red-headed girl. I\u2019ve run all over the town and rushed\nabout here and there, all for his sake, though he\u2019ll never be grateful\nfor it; and now at last, do you know, dear, I really do think I\u2019ve got\nthe girl I want. She\u2019s all dark\u2014dark hair, dark eyes, dark complexion.\nIf he marries her, as I mean him to do, she\u2019ll lead him a fine life,\nnotwithstanding all her winning ways. I wouldn\u2019t stand in _his_ shoes\nwhen she\u2019s his wife; but I know _I_ shall be able to manage her, for I\nhave a deeper insight into character than he has, and a better command of\ntemper. She\u2019ll teach Miss Charlotte to keep her place, and she\u2019ll make\nHenry mind too. It\u2019ll do him good; I\u2019ve done it all out of love to him,\nnot a spark of jealousy or ill-feeling, as you are well aware.\u201d\n\nThe idea of setting one wife against another, in order to keep the peace,\nwould appear in the case of my talkative friend to have been successful;\nfor, sure enough, six months after the time of which I have just spoken,\nher Henry did marry the dark beauty, and she and her auburn predecessor\npresented an interesting contrast when they chanced to appear in the\nstreet together in the company of their husband. There did not seem to be\nmuch love lost between them.\n\nSuccessful in her plans, and having, as she said, now brought her Henry\nto reason, my talkative friend gave up all idea of leaving the Church,\nand when I last saw her she said, \u201cI\u2019m busy now looking after a likely\ngirl, for I do think a man in my Henry\u2019s position ought to live his\nreligion and have _at least seven wives_!\u2014seven, you know, is such a very\nlucky number.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XLI.\n\nAFTER WE LEFT THE CHURCH\u2014INTERESTING FACTS AND FIGURES\u2014THE MORMONISM AND\nMORMONS OF TO-DAY.\n\n    \u201cThe world was all before them where to choose\n    Their place of rest: with Providence their guide,\n    They hand in hand, with trembling steps and slow,\n    Through Eden took their solitary way.\u201d\n\n                                      _Paradise Lost._\n\n\nWhen we left the Mormon Church, we were not quite as badly off as were\nour first parents when they began life, although in some respects we\ncertainly resembled them. The world was all before us, and it was\nnecessary that we also should choose a place of rest; but it was by no\nmeans an Eden from which we were dismissed\u2014or, rather, had dismissed\nourselves\u2014and in the matter of experience in the thorny ways of that\nworld in which we were about to begin afresh the battle of existence, we\ncertainly had the advantage over the exiles from Paradise.\n\nThe crisis of our own lives had now arrived. The act of sending in our\nresignation as members of the Church cut us off from all the associations\nof the past and all the friendships and pleasant intimacies of so many\nyears. A great gulf divided our by-gone life from the unknown future\nwhich lay before us.\n\nMy husband was now made painfully aware that it was altogether useless\nfor him to attempt to carry on his paper; for his subscribers, as I\nbefore stated, had been \u201ccounselled\u201d to discontinue taking it in. The\n_Daily Telegraph_ had had a very large circulation, but as there was very\nlittle money in the Territory, the yearly subscriptions were mostly paid\nat harvest time, and many of them in grain. At the time, therefore, when\nthe paper was finally given up, the Mormon people, as the book-keeper in\nOgden informed me, owed about twenty thousand dollars; but when it was\ndiscovered that we were \u201cApostates,\u201d the majority of them considered that\nthey were released from all obligations on that score, and my husband\nbeing an easy, generous-minded man, most of them evaded payment. The idea\nthat, because we had left the Church, no Saint was bound to pay us any\ndebts which they might happen at the time to owe, was the natural result\nof the teachings of the Tabernacle. Apostates are delivered over to \u201cthe\nbuffetings of Satan,\u201d and the Saints consider it is _their_ duty to begin\nin this world their master\u2019s work of castigation. Any ill turn that can\nbe done to an Apostate is consequently a good action in the opinion of\nthe Mormons, and they neglect no opportunity of showing that these are\nthe sentiments which influence them.\n\nAlthough we had now left the Mormon Church, never to return, my husband\ncould not at once shake off entirely that influence which had so long\nheld him captive. His thoughts and belief, his hopes and ambitions, had\nfor a quarter of a century all pointed in one direction, and the very\nidea of rebellion on his part against the authority of the Priesthood,\nwould, but a very little while before the time of which I speak, have\nbeen considered by him an utter impossibility. It was impossible, in a\nfew short months only, to undo the work of five-and-twenty years\u2014the\nbest years of his life. He could no longer remain in the Church or\nconscientiously support Brigham Young; but he had not outgrown Mormonism\nsufficiently to enable him to throw off the yoke entirely and make his\npaper an opponent of Brigham and his faith. Could he have done so, I\nthink it is highly probable that the _Telegraph_ might yet have been\nsaved, for I know that many of the more influential of the Gentiles would\nhave aided him materially in such a course. As it was, nothing remained\nbut to give it up with the best grace he could.\n\nTwo offers in reference to the paper were received by Mr. Stenhouse, and\nit remained for him to decide which he would accept. One of them came\nfrom a Gentile, who proposed to run it in opposition to Brigham Young,\nand the other came from a certain Mr. Fuller, who had for some time been\nmy husband\u2019s travelling agent, and was a very intimate friend of John W.\nYoung, Brigham\u2019s youngest son by his first wife. We knew that this Mr.\nFuller had nothing beyond his salary; but, as the friend of Brigham\u2019s\nson, we thought that probably it was the Prophet\u2019s wish that he should\nhave this paper, and we believed that he was simply buying it for the\nChurch. My husband argued that, although he could no longer unite with\nthe Mormons, he could at least refrain from doing them any injury; he\ntherefore concluded that, rather than let the paper go into the hands of\nan avowed enemy, he would sell it to Mr. Fuller, who, on account of his\nfriendship for the Prophet\u2019s family, would, he presumed, try to be just\nto the people.\n\nThis, no doubt, was very conscientious and just, although, of course, no\nMormon would give my husband credit for entertaining such sentiments.\nFor my own part, I naturally wished him to accept the offer that would\npay him best, which was that made by the Gentile. He could not, however,\nbring his mind to do this. The paper, therefore, was sold to Mr. Fuller,\nwho ran it for a few months and then himself ran away, leaving behind\nhim debts enough to swallow up everything. Thus ended the _Telegraph_\nunder that name, but destined, however, to rise again as the _Salt Lake\nHerald_\u2014a paper devoted to the interests of Brigham and the Priesthood.\nTo my husband it was an utter loss, but it was hardly fair that his\nconscientious conduct should meet with such an ill return.\n\nIt was now necessary that some steps should be taken to provide for our\nfamily. The reader may, perhaps, remember that when we first arrived\nin Salt Lake City, as I stated, I myself engaged in business until\nmy husband was able to find some suitable and profitable employment.\nWhen the _Telegraph_, however, was established and proved such a great\nsuccess, and we were in a position of affluence, I considered\u2014the\npressure of necessity being removed\u2014that I should do well to resign my\nown business connection and employ my time more profitably in domestic\naffairs. This was a great relief to me, for I always felt considerable\nrepugnance to mixing with the world in the way of business, while among\nmy children and attending to their wants and interests I found myself in\nmy own legitimate sphere. But there was now no alternative. All interest\nin the _Telegraph_ had been resigned; my husband\u2019s property had been\nwasted in an attempt to keep it up, and he had nothing now to depend\nupon. Something must be done, and I resolved that I would not be backward\nin bearing my full share of the burden.\n\nIt was only natural that we should feel very much unsettled in mind by\nthe great change which had taken place in our position, for it is no\neasy matter to cut asunder the ties and associations of a lifetime. Any\none suddenly changing his religious faith would, to a certain extent,\nfeel and understand what I mean in this respect. But in reference to any\nordinary religion, the person forsaking it would probably experience\ncomparatively little alteration in his every-day life. In Mormonism it\nis very different, especially to any one who has occupied a prominent\nposition among the Saints. To resign our religion was to revolutionize\nour lives. Everything was changed: the friends of years would look coldly\non us and avoid us; persons whom we had before shunned as Gentiles or\nApostates would be the only individuals who would regard us with favour;\nour entire position in the midst of a most exclusive community was\ncompletely reversed; in a word, we ourselves were now \u201cApostates!\u201d\n\nThinking to turn the current of his thoughts, and believing that change\nwould be beneficial to him, I suggested to my husband that he should\npay a visit to the Eastern States. In New York I believed he could find\nemployment which would help to divert his thoughts from Mormon affairs,\nand, at the same time, would be profitable to him in other respects. My\nsuggestion was acted upon, and my husband set out East, while I prepared\nto engage again in the same business which I had formerly conducted so\nsuccessfully.\n\nNow, for the first time since I embraced Mormonism, I mixed freely with\nGentiles and those who had left the Church, and it was not long before I\nfound that this intercourse with the outer world produced a marked and\ndecided effect upon my mind. My views were enlarged, and my thoughts\nbecame more liberal in their tone. My husband\u2019s letters showed me that a\nsimilar change was taking place in him.\n\nWe were not the only Apostates from the Church at that time. The New\nMovement, as the reaction against the tyranny of Brigham Young was\ncalled, was then in progress; and the minds of all intelligent Saints\nwere led to reflect upon the unheard-of claims of Brigham\u2019s \u201cInfallible\u201d\nPriesthood. At this time the Prophet endeavoured to rivet still more\nfirmly the fetters which bound his deluded followers, by establishing\n\u201cZion\u2019s Co-operative Mercantile Institution\u201d and reviving the \u201cOrder of\nEnoch.\u201d\n\nThe Co-operative Institution was announced as a joint-stock concern,\nestablished under the pretence that it would be a benefit to the working\nclasses, and all the members of the Church were invited to purchase\nshares, which were sold at twenty-five dollars each. The statement so\noften made by Brigham and repeated by strangers, to the effect that\nthe exorbitant prices charged by Gentile merchants necessitated the\nestablishment of such an institution was, as every Mormon knows, only a\npretence, and a very shallow one too; for the Walker Brothers and other\nmerchants had, for many years, supplied goods to Mormons and Gentiles\nalike, at what, under the circumstances, were reasonable and just\nprices; for the railway not then being constructed, and every article of\ncommerce being of necessity carried across the Plains\u2014a distance of over\na thousand miles\u2014by horse-teams, prices were, of course, very high, and\nwould, if this circumstance were not taken into consideration, appear\nextortionate. In fact, subsequently, the \u201cCo-operative\u201d stores, which\nhad started with high rates, under the belief that every rival would be\ncrushed, were compelled to lower their prices to those of the Walker\nBrothers, or, in spite of their faith, the Mormons would have forsaken\nBrigham\u2019s Institution for the sake of their pockets. Many, in fact, did\nsecretly go to Gentile stores, but they were watched by the police and\nreported to the teachers.\n\nThat large Mormon store, in which Brigham Young had such a heavy\ninterest, was to become the parent establishment\u2014the fountain-head\nfrom which temporal blessings, in the shape of cheap goods of every\ndescription, were to flow unto the people. Each Ward was to have its\nown store, and there the Saints of that Ward were expected to deal\nexclusively, and, as the teachers said, \u201ckeep off Main street where the\nGentile stores were located.\u201d These Ward-stores purchased their goods\nfrom the parent store, where nothing was sold by retail.\n\nAll the lesser Mormon merchants were \u201ccounselled\u201d to sell out their stock\nto the Church, for just what the Church chose to offer them, or dispose\nof it otherwise as best they could, and then they might go farming, or on\nmission, or anything else; but sell out they must, for they were plainly\ntold that they would not be allowed to carry on business in opposition to\nthe new Institution.\n\nNow, instead of benefiting the poorer Saints, by supplying goods to them\nat a small advance upon cost prices, as was at first proclaimed to be\nthe object of the \u201cCo-op\u201d\u2014as the Institution was briefly and familiarly\ncalled\u2014the reverse was the case, for competition was altogether banished.\nAll the trade of the Gentile merchants\u2014with one or two exceptions\u2014was\nforcibly taken from them, for the people were not to trade in any store\nwithout first looking to see if the sign of the Institution\u2014a picture of\n\u201cThe All-seeing Eye,\u201d and the words \u201cHoliness unto the Lord\u201d were over\nthe doorway. How often I have seen groups of country people straggling\nalong, with their heads thrown back and their eyes straining aloft in\neager quest of that sign, although perhaps their purchases would only\namount to a few yards of ribbon or a paper of pins!\n\nNo one can predict what the Church\u2014otherwise Brigham\u2014will do, if money\nshould chance to tempt him. In this case, the parent Co-operative store\nturned, as I might say, traitor to the Ward-stores\u2014its own children\u2014for\nno sooner had they all been established, and had bought up all the old\nstock from the parent store, than it was whispered abroad that the\nlatter was about to open in the retail line with a splendid stock of new\ngoods\u2014to suit the Gentiles, of course; for the Saints were not allowed\nto trade outside of their own Ward-stores, where they were expected to\nbuy up all the old goods. In fact, in order to gain Gentile trade and\nfill the pockets of Brigham and the leading Elders who really constituted\nthe Institution (and do so still), the same prices were asked at the\nparent store as had been charged the poor confiding stock-holders of the\nWard-stores at wholesale. This, of course, caused great dissatisfaction,\nand many of the Saints rebelled, declaring they would go where\nthey pleased to spend their money, when they had any to spend. The\nWard-stores, in consequence, were obliged, at great loss, to lower their\nprices, and many were utterly ruined. Others which had more capital tided\nover the difficulty, and learned a lesson concerning the honesty of the\nChurch leaders which it is to be hoped did them good.\n\nAs an example of the way in which matters were managed, I may instance\na very old and infirm woman who was one of their victims. She came to\nme one day and said, \u201cSister Stenhouse, will you buy out my stock in\nthe Co-operative store? Our store has failed, and I have my twenty-five\ndollars\u2019 worth in my basket. I pitied her and asked her to let me see\nher stock, and thereupon she brought out _a pound and a half of nails!_\nI _did_ buy out her stock, for I thought that the nails might be handy\nto have in the house, although I did not give her twenty-five dollars\nfor them. Another person\u2014a Frenchman, whom I knew\u2014bought a share, and\nwhen he saw certain ruin looming over his Ward-store, he went to the\nhead-quarters and purchased twenty-five dollars\u2019 worth of goods, and\nhaving got them all secured, laid down his shareholders\u2019 receipt in\npayment and beat a hasty retreat. He was a fortunate man and acted\nprudently, but alas! for the poor souls who ventured all their little\nsavings in these Church \u201cInstitutions\u201d and then were left to poverty and\nstarvation.\n\nAbout this time, also, it was that the Mormon women, under the auspices\nof Eliza R. Snow and the Female Relief Society, got up a petition to Mrs.\nGrant, begging her to use her influence with the President in favour of a\ntoleration of Polygamy. The names to that petition were affixed without\nany reference to propriety or right. Hundreds of names were copied from\nthe books of the Society without any permission being obtained, or even\nasked, of their owners. It was then, as I before stated, that the names\nof the dead were actually added as subscribers to the petition; and in\none case, when a lady mentioned that her dead daughter had never belonged\nto the Church, as she died before her mother heard of Mormonism, she was\ntold that her daughter would now, of course, have found out that Polygamy\nwas the true order of domestic life in heaven, and that she would\ncertainly be willing to subscribe if she could return to earth. Her name\nwas, therefore, added without any further ceremony, although she had been\ndead a good many years.\n\nIn January, 1872, a counter-petition was got up by the Gentile and\nApostate ladies. It set forth the cruel bondage which Polygamy inflicts\nupon women; spoke of the heartless conduct of the Mormon leaders, and\nof the murders and other foul crimes which had been committed by them\nor at their instigation; showed that, should Utah become a State, under\nthe name of _Deseret_\u2014which has ever been the ambition of Brigham\nYoung\u2014there would be no protection for life or property; stated that the\nauthorities themselves had declared that when statehood was conferred,\nGentiles and Apostates would have good cause to tremble; and, finally,\nprayed the National Government to stretch forth its long arm of power\nfor the defence and protection of honest and law-abiding citizens. This\npetition was signed by four hundred and forty ladies of Utah, most of\nthem members of the Mormon Church, whose _real_ names were all fairly\nand openly _affixed by their own selves_. It was presented to the Senate\nby the Hon. Schuyler Colfax\u2014then Vice-President; was read, discussed,\nand ordered to be printed. As might be supposed, it excited a great\ndeal of angry discussion on the part of the Church authorities; and the\nfollowing Sundays the names of those who had signed were read out in\nthe Tabernacle, and _strong_ remarks made upon their conduct, in order\nto intimidate them and prevent others from following their example. The\nconsequence was that many of their husbands and sons were threatened with\nloss of employment, and they were thus forced to retract.\n\nThat same year a bill was brought into the Territorial Legislature,\nproviding that _boys of fifteen years of age and girls of twelve\nmight legally contract marriage_, with the consent of their parents\nor guardians! In stating this disgraceful fact, I feel certain that\nthe reader who has never lived among the Saints, and is not versed in\nUtah affairs, will think that I must be mistaken in what I say. It\nis, however, I am sorry to say, only too true, and the records of the\nLegislature will bear me witness.\n\nWith the exception of the little literary efforts which I have made from\ntime to time to expose through the press the iniquity of the \u201cCelestial\nOrder of Marriage,\u201d no event of more than personal and private interest\nhas, since I left the Mormon Church, interrupted the even tenor of my\nlife. Last year, however, I was able to deal another blow\u2014weak, it might\nbe, but still it was a blow\u2014directed at that false system against which I\nhave sworn eternal enmity. I lectured upon Mormon Polygamy in Washington\nand Boston, and other large cities, and attempted in my humble way to\nattract the attention of the Gentile world to the iniquities of that\nterrible superstition which, in Utah, has degraded womanhood and wrecked\nthe happiness of thousands of my deluded sisters. I met with sympathy\neverywhere; and then, as now, I resolved that efforts like these I would\nnever relax until, if God spared my life, I should see the last stone in\nthe fabric of Mormonism overturned and Mormon Polygamy counted among the\nsins and follies of the past.\n\nHis literary work accomplished, my husband returned to Salt Lake City.\nLooking back over the past, our Missionary life and our faith in\nBrighamism seems like a dream, so difficult is it for us to realize that\nwe ever submitted our souls to the slavery of the Priesthood or placed\nany credence in that mass of folly, superstition, and licentiousness,\nknown as Mormonism. During all his efforts to obey counsel and build\nup a \u201ckingdom,\u201d my husband, I know, never ceased to love me. For the\nmisery which he then, in\u2014as I firmly believe\u2014his conscientious endeavours\nto live his religion, inflicted upon me, I have long ago freely and\nfully forgiven him. I think that during all that time he never ceased\nto entertain the fondest affection for me; and, if he was foolishly\nconfiding in those who he believed were divinely authorized and speaking\nby inspiration, can I blame him when I remember that I myself was\nactuated by the same faith?\n\nIt was impossible to obliterate utterly the education and influences\nof a whole life\u2019s experience. That wall of partition\u2014Polygamy\u2014which\nseparated my husband from me for so many years, is now for ever broken\ndown. But the effects of Mormonism will, no doubt, though unconsciously\nto ourselves, tinge the whole of our future life. We can never forget the\npast. The mournful sympathy which, according to the poet, the Peri at the\ngate of Paradise expressed over the sins and sorrows of humanity, might,\nwith a slight variation, be applied to our own lives:\u2014\n\n    \u201c\u2018Poor race of men!\u2019 said the pitying spirit,\n      \u2018Dearly ye pay for your primal fall;\n    Some traces of Eden ye still inherit,\n      But the trail of the serpent is over them all.\u2019\u201d\n\n\n\n\nL\u2019ENVOI.\n\n\nIn the preceding pages I have endeavoured to present to the reader the\nstory of my life\u2019s experience in Mormonism and Polygamy, and to place\nbefore him a truthful picture of the doctrines and practices of the\nSaints.\n\nTwo objects influenced my mind when I first proposed to write this\nvolume. In the first place, I earnestly desired to stir up my Mormon\nsisters to a just sense of their own position. I longed to make them\nfeel, as I do, the cruel degradation, the humiliating tyranny, which\nPolygamy inflicts. I wanted to arouse them to a sense of their own\nwomanhood, and a just appreciation of those rights and duties which,\nas women, God has conferred upon them. I was anxious that they should\nunderstand and know the inconsistency and folly of that superstitious\nfaith by which they have been so egregiously deluded; that they might\nlearn to hate and loathe the falsely-named \u201cCelestial\u201d system of\nmarriage; and rising in honest indignation and disgust against the\ntyranny of the oppressor, break asunder the yoke of bondage, cast from\nthem for ever the moral, religious, and social fetters wherewith they are\nbound, and, walking in the light of truth, assert their perfect equality\nwith their sons, their husbands, their fathers, and their brethren, and\nhenceforth claim and occupy that position which God assigned them, and\nwhich _by right_ is theirs!\n\nIn the second place, I was anxious to enlist for them the sympathy of the\nGentile world. Most strenuous efforts have been made, large sums of money\nhave been spent, and secret intrigues, as well as open and honourable\nnegotiations, have been carried on for the purpose of obtaining admission\nfor Utah into the Union, under the title of _The State of Deseret_. The\nname \u201cDeseret\u201d itself is taken from the Book of Mormon, and is said\nto signify in the celestial tongue a honey-bee; wherefore it is that\nthe escutcheon of Utah Territory is a bee-hive; and to grant that name\n\u201cDeseret\u201d alone would be a concession to Mormon superstition. Out here\nin the Valley of the Great Salt Lake we are perfectly well aware that,\nwith Utah once admitted as a State, it would be almost impossible for\nGentiles to live peaceably and safely among the Mormons; and of this fact\ntheir leading men and their official organs have repeatedly boasted. With\nUtah as a State, the enslavement of the people to the Priesthood would be\ncomplete, and the cruel bondage of Polygamy would be rivetted a thousand\ntimes more firmly upon the unfortunate women. I was anxious, therefore,\nto attract the attention of Congress and the nation at large to these\nfacts; that thus, when Mormon bills and Mormon petitions, replete with\nfalsified statistics, and perverted, and\u2014in many instances\u2014utterly\nuntrue, statements are presented to the National Legislature, neither the\nrepresentatives of the nation nor the nation itself might be deceived\nthereby. These were the two objects which I had proposed to myself in\nwriting my own experience as a wife and mother among the Mormons, and I\ntrust to some extent at least I have realized them.\n\nI send forth this little book with many earnest prayers and many\nheartfelt aspirations that my Mormon sisters may be benefited thereby.\nOut of the evil which man originates, God alone can produce good; and I\ntrust that my feeble attempt to portray the cruel wrong which Polygamy\ninflicts upon the women of Utah may excite the sympathy of every man\nand woman whose influence may avail to hasten that time when this relic\nof ancient barbarism may be utterly rooted out before the advancing\ncivilization of the age.\n\nThe night\u2014the gloomy night of superstition\u2014cannot last for ever. Already\nthere are signs of the coming dawn. The time, I trust and pray, will\nnot long be delayed when the veil shall be removed from the eyes of the\nenslaved men and women of our modern Zion, and they shall cast aside for\never the yoke of the Priesthood. I trust that I shall yet live to see the\nday when the Mormon wives and mothers shall awake to a sense of their\nposition and responsibilities, shall understand that God never required\nthat their womanhood should be degraded, their love crushed out, and\nthe holiest instincts of their nature perverted; I trust to see them\nassert their inalienable rights\u2014their womanly prerogatives\u2014their very\nbirthright itself; I trust to see them shake off the slavery of that\ncruel superstition which has so long held them captive; I trust to see\nthem take their places side by side with Gentile matrons\u2014the honoured\nwives and mothers of the men of Utah; I trust to see that dark shadow\nbanished from their features, banished from their hearts, banished from\ntheir lives; I trust to see them FREE!\n\nFull of love for them\u2014my sisters, my friends, the companions of my life\nhitherto, whose religion was once my own, whose hopes and joys I have\nshared, whose sorrows and trials have been also mine\u2014with hopeful prayer\nI lay down my pen and present my labours to the world. And if my humble\nefforts shall have conduced, even in the smallest degree, to keep one\nsister from entering into this sinful \u201cOrder\u201d; if they shall have aroused\nthe women of Utah to investigate the foundations of their faith, to\ncalmly and impartially consider the iniquities of the system of Polygamy,\nto renounce the man-made slavery of the \u201cCelestial Order\u201d; if I shall be\nfound to have awakened in the minds of thinking men and women a hatred\nfor the licentious doctrine which enslaves the wives and daughters of\nthe Saints; if I have to any extent enlisted active, practical sympathy\nin their behalf, I shall feel that my endeavours have been abundantly\nrewarded, and that my labours have not been bestowed in vain.\n\n\n\n\nPOSTSCRIPT.\n\n\nThe publication of this book has probably contributed more to bring the\nterrible realities of Mormon life to the knowledge of the public, and to\nhasten their day of judgment, than has any other human agency.\n\nThe officers of justice in Utah were from that time urged to bring the\nnotorious criminals to justice, but many well-contrived plans for their\narrest failed in the accomplishment.\n\nUnexpectedly, John D. Lee, the hero of the Mountain Meadows Massacre,\nwas, while visiting one of his wives, surprised and placed under\nconfinement in the U.S. Military Fort near Beaver City.\n\nIn the summer of 1875 a lengthy trial ensued, and as there were Mormons\namong the jurors, they failed to agree in a verdict.\n\nPublic indignation grew intensely against the system of falsehood\nconstantly practised by the Mormon jurors, when the Church or any of its\nleaders were interested in the courts, and a second trial of John D. Lee\nwas earnestly demanded.\n\nDuring his first trial the Apostle George A. Smith, Brigham\u2019s favourite\nand counsellor, who was undoubtedly the instrument through whom Lee and\nhis associates had been \u201ccounselled\u201d to destroy the emigrants, was still\nliving, and to screen him it was necessary that Lee should escape the\npenalty of his crime.\n\nBetween the first and second trials of John D. Lee, Smith died, and\nLee might now confess what he pleased, for the link in the chain of\ncommunication from Brigham Young to the murderers was for ever broken.\n\nContinually striving to gain the admission of Utah into the Union as\na State, and being always met with a repulse based upon the wholesale\nmurder crimes in Utah that had gone unpunished, Brigham, having no longer\nanything to fear from Lee\u2019s confessions of his (Brigham\u2019s) complicity\nin the Mountain Meadows Massacre, resolved to sacrifice Lee to appease\nthe public clamour; accordingly the testimony from eye-witnesses was\noverwhelming, and Lee was condemned by his own Mormon brethren, who for\nnearly twenty years had carried in their minds this guilty evidence.\n\nLee was sentenced to be executed on the 23rd of March, 1877, and as he\nhad the choice of the manner of his death, he elected to be shot. The\ncourt so approved, and ordered him to be, on the day named, taken to the\nMountain Meadows, where the great slaughter of the innocent men, women,\nand children, had been consummated, to there meet his doom.\n\nHow truthfully I had told the story of this great crime will be seen\nin the confession of Lee before his execution; and what a dreadful\ncommentary that document is on the Mormon Priesthood will be apparent to\nevery intelligent reader.\n\nUnder the name of a Prophet of Jesus Christ, Brigham Young could rule\nwith unchallenged sway hundreds of thousands of honest men and women, who\nwere born of Christian parents, and trained in the civilized customs of\nEurope and America!\n\nIt would seem impossible, yet it is within this book revealed to be an\nastounding and humiliating fact.\n\nIn the escort conducting Lee to the place of execution there were in all\nabout eighty persons, one of whom was a photographer, who deemed the\ncircumstance worthy perpetuation by the unerring camera. From one of\nthose present I copy the sketch of the ending of John D. Lee.\n\nIt was Friday morning when the party stopped at their destination, and\nLee was immediately ordered to descend from the waggon in which he rode,\nwhich he did without delay.\n\nMarshal Nelson then read the orders of the court regarding the execution,\nand when the reading was concluded, Lee was asked if he had anything to\nsay. Just at this moment the photographer was arranging his camera to\ntake a picture of the prisoner. Lee caught sight of him, and pointing\nto him said, \u201cI want to see that man,\u201d and added in a louder voice,\naddressed to the photographer, \u201cCome over here.\u201d\n\nMr. Fennimore, the artist, replied, \u201cIn a second, Mr. Lee,\u201d and very soon\nafter was by the side of Lee, who said,\u2014\n\n\u201cI want to ask a favour of you, sir; I want you to furnish each of my\nthree wives with a copy of the photograph\u2014one to Rachel A., Emma B., and\nSarah C.\u201d\n\nHe had had in all eighteen wives; but only the three named remained.\nRachel was the oldest and most faithful to his interests.\n\nThe artist consented to do as he had been requested, and Lee then sat for\nhis picture, which was successfully taken. Then he arose and, looking\nover those standing about, said,\u2014\n\n\u201cI have but little to say this morning. Of course, I feel that I am upon\nthe brink of eternity, and the solemnity of eternity should rest upon my\nmind at the present moment. I have made out, or endeavoured to do so, a\nmanuscript and an abridged history of my life. This will be published.\nSir, [turning to District Attorney Howard] I have given my views and\nfeelings with regard to all these things. I feel resigned to my fate. I\nfeel as calm as a summer morning. I have done nothing adversely wrong.\nMy conscience is clear before God and man, and I am ready to meet my\nRedeemer. This it is that places me on this field. I am not an infidel;\nI have not denied God or His mercy. I am a strong believer in these\nthings. The most I regret is parting with my family. Many of them are\nunprotected, and will be left fatherless. When I speak of those little\nones, they touch a tender chord within me.\u201d\n\nAt this moment his voice trembled, and he perceptibly faltered in his\nwords. He continued, however, as follows:\u2014\n\n\u201cI have done nothing designedly wrong in this affair. I used my utmost\nendeavours to save those people. I would have given worlds were they\nat my command to have avoided that calamity, but I could not. I am\nsacrificed to satisfy feelings, and am used to gratify parties; but I am\nready to die. I have no fear of death. It has no terrors for me; and no\nparticle of mercy have I asked for from court or officials to spare my\nlife. I do not fear death. I shall never go to a worse place than the one\nI am now in. I have said it to my family, and I will say it to-day, that\nthe Government of the United States sacrifices their best friend, and\nthat is saying a great deal; but it is true. I am a true believer in the\nGospel of Jesus Christ. I do not believe everything that is now practised\nand taught by Brigham Young. I do not agree with him. I believe he is\nleading his people astray. But I believe in the gospel as taught in its\npurity by Joseph Smith in former days. I have my reasons for saying this.\nI used to make this man\u2019s will my pleasure (evidently alluding to Brigham\nYoung), and did so for thirty years. See how and what I have come to\nthis day! I have been sacrificed in a cowardly, dastardly manner. There\nare thousands of people in the Church\u2014honourable, good-hearted\u2014whom I\ncherish in my heart. I regret to leave my family. They are near and dear\nto me. These are things to rouse my sympathy. I declare I did nothing\ndesignedly wrong in this unfortunate affair. I did everything in my power\nto save all emigrants, but I am the one that must suffer. Having said\nthis I feel resigned. I ask the Lord, my God, to extend His mercy to me\nand receive my spirit. My labours are here done.\u201d\n\nThis ceremony, altogether, had occupied about an hour, and it was now\nclose upon eleven o\u2019clock. The sun, which had been fitfully bright during\nthe morning, had become veiled behind a passing cloud, yet the sky was\nonly partially overcast, as down the horizon were bright streaks of\ngolden light; and the effect of light and shadow, as portrayed upon the\nscene, soon to culminate in the execution of the law, was one that seemed\nto be in full harmony with the painful silence that prevailed. Then it\nwas that the words upon the rude monument, which once had stood to mark\nthe spot of the massacre, came out with vivid force\u2014\n\n    \u201cVengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.\u201d\n\nThe stillness of the occasion was broken by Lee\u2019s seating himself,\naccording to orders, upon the coffin provided for his burial. He tried\nto appear calm as he faced the squad of soldiers whose rifles were\nsoon to discharge their contents into his body. A Methodist preacher,\nParson Stokes, then knelt beside the coffin and offered a short prayer,\nfollowing which a white handkerchief was placed over Lee\u2019s eyes. While\nthe marshal was arranging the handkerchief, Lee said in a low but firm\ntone of voice\u2014\u201cLet them shoot the balls through my heart; don\u2019t let them\nmangle my body.\u201d\n\nHe was assured that the aim would be as true as possible, and the marshal\nthen stepped back and gave his order to the five riflemen who had been\nselected to do the work,\u2014\n\n                           \u201cREADY! AIM! FIRE!\u201d\n\nThe men made ready by raising their weapons to the shoulder, and then\ntook deliberate aim at the blindfolded man, who was about twenty feet\noff, and at the word \u201cfire!\u201d the volley was discharged, with but a single\nsound perceptible to the ear, and Lee fell back upon the coffin, dead,\nwithout a cry or even a moan. He was shot through the heart, as he had\nhoped to be, and died instantly. The marshal, after a few moments, viewed\nthe body, and said: \u201cHe is quite dead; the law is satisfied at last.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER XLIV.\n\nMOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE\u2014COMPLETE CONFESSION OF BISHOP JOHN D. LEE.\n\n\nIn the month of September, 1857, the company of emigrants, known as the\n\u201cArkansas Company,\u201d arrived at Parowan, Iron county, Utah, on their\nway to California. At Parowan young Aden, one of the company, saw and\nrecognized one William Laney, a Mormon resident of Parowan. Aden and his\nfather had rescued Laney from an anti-Mormon mob in Tennessee several\nyears before, and saved his life. He (Laney) at the time he was attacked\nby the mob was a Mormon missionary in Tennessee. Laney was glad to see\nhis friend and benefactor, and invited him to his house and gave him some\n\u201cgarden sauce\u201d to take back to the camp with him. The same evening, it\nwas reported to Bishop (Colonel) Dame, that Laney had given potatoes and\nonions to the man Aden, one of the emigrants. When the report was made\nto Bishop Dame, he raised his hand and crooked his little finger in a\nsignificant manner to one Barney Carter, his brother-in-law, and one of\nthe \u201cAngels of Death.\u201d Carter, without another word, walked out, went to\nLaney\u2019s house with a long picket in his hand, called Laney out and struck\nhim a heavy blow on the head, fracturing his skull, and left him on the\nground for dead. C. Y. Webb and Isaac Naoman, President of the \u201cHigh\nCouncil,\u201d both told me they saw Dame\u2019s man\u0153uvres. James McGuffee, then\na resident of Parowan, but through oppression has been forced to leave\nthere and is now a merchant in Pahranagat Valley, near Pioche, Nev.,\nknows these facts. About the last of August, 1857, some ten days before\nthe Mountain Meadows Massacre, the company of emigrants passed through\nCedar City. George A. Smith, then first counsellor in the Church and\nBrigham Young\u2019s right-hand man, came down from Salt Lake City, preaching\nto the different settlements. I at that time was in Washington county,\nnear where St. George now stands. He sent for me. I went to him and\nhe asked me to take him to Cedar City by way of Fort Clara and Pinto\nsettlements, as he was on business and must visit all the settlements. We\nstarted on our way up through the canyon. We saw herds of Indians, and he\n(George A. Smith) remarked to me that these Indians, with the advantages\nthey had of the rocks, could use up a large company of emigrants, or\nmake it very hot for them. After pausing for a short time he said to me,\n\u201cBrother Lee, what do you think the brethren would do if a company of\nemigrants should come down through here making threats? Don\u2019t you think\nthey would pitch into them?\u201d I replied that \u201cthey certainly would.\u201d This\nseemed to please him, and he again said to me, \u201cAnd you really think the\nbrethren would pitch into them?\u201d \u201cI certainly do,\u201d was my reply, \u201cand\nyou had better instruct Colonel Dame and Haight to tend to it that the\nemigrants are permitted to pass, if you want them to pass unmolested.\u201d\nHe continued, \u201cI asked Isaac (meaning Haight) the same question, and he\nanswered me just as you do, and I expect the boys would pitch into them.\u201d\nI again said to him that he had better say to Gov. Young that if he wants\nemigrant companies to pass without molestation that he must instruct\nCol. Dame or Major Haight to that effect; for if they are not ordered\notherwise they will use them up by the help of the Indians. He told the\npeople at the Clara not to sell their grain to the emigrants, nor to feed\nit to their animals, as they might expect a big fight the next spring\nwith the United States. President Young did not intend to let the troops\ninto the territory. He said: \u201cWe are going to stand up for our rights,\nand will no longer be imposed upon by our enemies, and want every man to\nbe on hand with his gun in good order and his powder dry,\u201d and instructed\nthe people to part with nothing that would sustain life. From the 1st\nto the 10th of September, 1857, a messenger came to me\u2014his name was Sam\nWood\u2014and told me that President Isaac C. Haight wanted me to be at Cedar\nCity that evening without fail. This was Saturday. He told me that a\nlarge company of emigrants had gone south. I think he lived at Harmony,\ntwenty miles south of Cedar City.\n\nI obeyed the summons. President Haight met me. It was near sundown. We\nspent the night in an open house on some blankets, where we talked most\nall night. He told me that a company of emigrants had passed through\nsome two days before, threatening the Mormons with destruction, and\nthat one of them had said he had helped to kill old Joe Smith and his\nbrother Hyrum, that other members of the company of emigrants had helped\ndrive the Mormons out of Missouri; that others had said they had come\nto help Johnson\u2019s army clean the Mormons out of Utah; that they had the\nhalters ready to hang old Brigham and Heber, and would have them strung\nup before the snow flew; that one of the emigrants called one of his\noxen (a pair of stags) \u201cBrig.\u201d and the other \u201cHeber;\u201d and that several\nof the emigrants had used all kinds of threats and profanity. John M.\nHigbee, the City Marshal, had informed them that it was a breach of the\ncity ordinance to use profane language, whereupon one of them replied\nthat he did not care a \u2014\u2014 for the Mormon laws or the Mormons either;\nthat they had fought their way through the Indians, and would do it\nthrough the \u2014\u2014 Mormons; and if their god, old Brigham, and his priests\nwould not sell their provisions, by \u2014\u2014 they would take what they wanted\nany way they could get it; that thus enraged, one of them let loose his\nlong whip and killed two chickens, and threw them into the waggon; that\nthe widow Evans said, \u201cGentlemen, those are my chickens; please don\u2019t\nkill them; I am a poor widow;\u201d that they ordered her to \u201cshut up,\u201d or\nthey would blow her \u2014\u2014 brains out, etc.; that they had been raising\ntrouble with all the settlements and Indians on their way; that we were\nthreatened on the North by Johnson\u2019s army; that now our safety depended\non prompt and immediate action; that a company of Indians had already\ngone South from Parowan and Cedar City to surprise the emigrants, who\nwere then at the Mountain Meadows, and he wanted me to return home in\nthe morning (Sunday), and send Carl Schurtz (Indian interpreter) from\nmy home (Harmony), to raise the Indians South, at Harmony, Washington,\nand Santa Clara, to join the Indians from the North and make the attack\nupon the emigrants at the Meadows. I said to him, \u201cWould it not be well\nto hold a council of the brethren before making a move?\u201d He replied that\n\u201cevery true Latter-Day Saint that regarded their covenants knew well\ntheir duty, and that the company of emigrants had forfeited their lives\nby their acts,\u201d and that Bishop P. K. Smith (Klingensmith) and Joel White\nhad already gone by way of Pinto, to raise the Indians in that direction,\nand those that had gone from Parowan and here would make the attack, and\nmight be repulsed. \u201cWe can\u2019t now delay for a council of the brethren.\nReturn immediately, and start Carl Schurtz; tell him that I ordered you\nto tell him to go; and I want you to try and get there before the attack\nis made, and make the plan for the Indians, and will send Nephi Johnson,\nthe interpreter, to the Meadows as soon as he can be got to help Carl\nSchurtz manage the Indians.\u201d I did just as I was ordered. The Indians\nfrom the North and about Harmony had already started for the Meadows\nbefore I reached home. Schurtz started immediately to do his part.\n\nI arrived at home in the night, and remained till morning. I thought\nover the matter, and the more I thought the more my feelings revolted\nagainst such a horrid deed. Sleep had fled from me. I talked to my wife\nRachel about it. She felt as I did about it, and advised me to let them\ndo their own dirty work, and said that if things did not go just to\nsuit them the blame would be laid on me. She never did believe in blood\natonement, and said it was from the devil, and that she would rather\nbreak such a covenant, if she had to die for so doing, than to live and\nbe guilty of doing such an act. I finally concluded that I would go; that\nI would start by daybreak in the morning, and try to get there before an\nattack was made on the company, and use my influence with the Indians\nto let them alone. I crossed the mountains by a trail, and reached the\nMeadows between nine and ten in the morning, the distance from my place\nbeing about twenty-five miles. But I was too late. The attack had been\nmade just before daybreak in the morning, the Indians repulsed, with one\nkilled and two of their chiefs from Cedar City shot through the legs,\nbreaking a leg for each of them. The Indians were in a terrible rage. I\nwent to some of them that were in a ravine. They told me to go to the\nmain body, or they would kill me for not coming before the attack was\nmade. While I was standing there I received a shot just above the belt,\ncutting through my clothes to the skin, some six inches across. The\nIndians with whom I was talking lived with me at Harmony. I was Indian\nFarmer. They told me I was in danger, and to get down into the ravine.\nI said that it was impossible for me to do anything there, and I dare\nnot venture to the camp of the emigrants without endangering my life.\nI mounted my horse and started south to meet Carl Schurtz. I travelled\nsixteen miles and stopped on the Megotsy to bait my animal, as there\nwas good grass and water. I had rode over forty miles without eating or\ndrinking. This is the place where Mr. Tobin met his assassinators. About\nsunset I saw Schurtz and some ten or fifteen white men and about one\nhundred and fifty Indians. We camped.\n\nDuring the night the Indians left for the Meadows. I reported to the men\nwhat had taken place. They attacked the emigrants again, about sunrise\nthe next morning, which was Tuesday, and had one of their number killed\nand several wounded. I, with the white men, reached the Meadows about one\no\u2019clock p.m. On the way we met a small band of Indians returning, with\nsome eighteen or twenty head of cattle. One of the Indians was wounded\nin the shoulder. They told me that the Indians were encamped east of the\nemigrants, at some springs. On our arrival at the springs we found some\ntwo hundred Indians, among whom were the two wounded chiefs, Moqueetus\nand Bill. The Indians were in a high state of excitement; had killed many\ncattle and horses belonging to the company. I counted sixty head near\ntheir encampment, that they had killed in revenge for the wounding of\ntheir men. By the assistance of Oscar Hamblin (brother of Jacob Hamblin)\nand Schurtz, we succeeded in getting the Indians to desist from killing\nany more stock that night. The company of emigrants had corraled all\ntheir waggons but one for better defence. This corral was about one\nhundred yards above the springs. This they did to get away from the\nravine and from the rocks on the west. The attack was renewed that night\nby the Indians, in spite of all we could do to prevent it.\n\nWhen the attack commenced, Oscar Hamblin, William Young, and myself\nstarted to go to the Indians. When opposite the corral, on the north,\nthe bullets came around us like a shower of hail. We had two Indians\nwith us to pilot us; they threw themselves flat on the ground to protect\nthemselves from the bullets. I stood erect and asked my Father in heaven\nto protect me from the missiles of death, and enable me to reach the\nIndians. One ball passed through my hat and the hair of my head, and\nanother through my shirt, grazing my arm near the shoulder. A most\nhideous yell of the Indians commenced. The cries and shrieks of the\nwomen and children so overcame me that I forgot my danger and rushed\nthrough the fire to the Indians, and pleaded with them, in tears, to\ndesist. I told them that the Great Spirit would be angry with them for\nkilling women and little children. They told me to leave or they would\nserve me the same way, and that I was not their friend, but a friend\nof their enemies; that I was a squaw, and did not have the heart of a\nbrave, and that I could not see blood shed without crying like a baby,\nand called me cry-baby, and by that name I am known by all the Indians\nto this day. I owe my life on that occasion to Oscar Hamblin, who was a\nmissionary with the Indians, and had much influence with the Santa Clara\nIndians. They were the ones that wanted to kill me. Hamblin shamed them,\nand called them dogs and wolves for wanting to shed the blood of their\nfather (myself), who had fed and clothed them. We finally prevailed on\nthem to return to camp, where we would hold a council; that I would send\nfor big Captains to come and talk. We told them that they had punished\nthe emigrants enough, and may be they had killed nearly all of them. We\ntold them that Bishop Dame and President Haight would come, and may be\nthey would give them part of the cattle, and let the company go with the\nteams. In this way we reconciled them to suspend hostilities for the\npresent. The two that had been with Hamblin and myself the night before\nsaid they had seen two men on horseback come out of the emigrant\u2019s camp\nunder full speed, and that they went toward Cedar City.\n\nWednesday morning I asked a man\u2014I think his name was Edwards\u2014to go to\nCedar City and say to President Haight, for God\u2019s sake, for my sake,\nand for the sake of suffering humanity, to send out men to rescue that\ncompany. This day we all lay still, waiting orders. Occasionally a few\nof the Indians withdrew, taking a few head of animals with them. About\nnoon I crossed the valley north of the corral, thinking to examine their\nlocation from the west range. The company recognized me as a white man,\nand sent two little boys, about four years old, to meet me. I hid from\nthem, fearing the Indians, who discovered the children. I called the\nIndians, who wanted my gun or ammunition to kill them. I prevailed with\nthem to let the children go back to camp, which they very soon did when\nthey saw the Indians. I crept up behind some rock, on the west range,\nwhere I had a full view of the corral. In it they had dug a rifle-pit.\nThe wheels of their waggons were chained together, and the only chance\nfor the Indians was to starve them out, or shoot them as they went for\nwater. I lay there some two hours, and contemplated their situation,\nand wept like a child. When I returned to camp, some six or eight men\nhad come from Cedar City. Joel White, William C. Stewart, and Elliot C.\nWeldon, were among the number, but they had no orders. They had come\nmerely to see how things were. The Meadows are about fifty miles from\nCedar City. Thursday afternoon the messenger from Cedar City returned. He\nsaid that President Haight had gone to Parowan to confer with Col. Dame,\nand a company of men and orders would be sent on to-morrow (Friday);\nthat up to the time he had left, the council had come to no definite\nconclusion. During this time the Indians and men were engaged in broiling\nbeef and making up their hides into lassos. I had flattered myself that\nbloodshed was at an end. After the emigrants saw me cross the valley,\nthey hoisted a white flag in the midst of their corral.\n\nFriday afternoon four waggons drove up with armed men. When they saw the\nwhite flag in the corral, they raised one also, but drove to the springs\nwhere we were, and took refreshment, after which a council meeting was\ncalled of Presidents, Bishops, and other Church officers and members\nof the High Council, societies, High Priests, &c. Major John M. Higbee\npresided as chairman. Several of the dignitaries bowed in prayer, invoked\nthe aid of the Holy Spirit to prepare their minds, and guide them to do\nright, and carry out the counsels of their leaders. Higbee said that\n\u201cPresident J. C. Haight had been to Parowan to confer with Col. Dame and\ntheir counsel, and orders were that, this emigrant camp must be used\nup.\u201d I replied, \u201cMen, women, and children?\u201d \u201cAll,\u201d said he, \u201cexcept such\nas are too young to tell tales; and if the Indians cannot do it without\nhelp, we must help them.\u201d I commenced pleading for the company, and I\nsaid, though some of them have behaved badly, they have been pretty well\nchastised. My policy would be to draw off the Indians, let them have a\nportion of the loose cattle, and withdraw with them, under promise that\nthey would not molest the company any more; that the company would then\nhave teams enough left to take them to California. I told them that this\ncourse could not bring them into trouble. Higbee said, \u201cWhite men have\ninterposed, and the emigrants know it, and there lies the danger in\nletting them go.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat white man interfered?\u201d He replied that in\nthe attack on Tuesday night two men broke out of the corral and started\nfor Cedar City on horseback; that they were met at Richey\u2019s Spring by\nStewart, Joel White, and another man, whose name has passed from me.\nStewart asked the two men their names when they met at the spring, and\nbeing told in reply by one of the men that his name was Aden, and that\nthe other was a Dutchman from the emigrant\u2019s company, Stewart shoved a\npistol to Aden\u2019s breast, and killed him, saying, \u201cTake that, \u2014\u2014 you.\u201d\nThe other man (the Dutchman) wheeled to leave as Joel White fired and\nwounded him. I asked him how he knew the wounded Dutchman got back to\nthe emigrants\u2019 camp. He said because he was tracked back, and they knew\nhe was there. I again said that it was better to deliver the man to them,\nand let them do anything they wished with them, and tell them that we did\nnot approve such things. Ira Allen, high councillor, and Robert Wiley,\nand others, spoke, reproving me sharply for trying to dictate to the\npriesthood; that it would set at naught all authority; that he would not\ngive the life of one of our brethren for a thousand such persons. \u201cIf we\nlet them go,\u201d he continued, \u201cthey will raise hell in California, and the\nresult will be that our wives and children will have to be butchered,\nand ourselves too, and they are no better to die than ours, and I am\nsurprised to hear Brother Lee talk as he does, as he, who has always been\nconsidered one of the staunchest in the Church, now is the first to shirk\nfrom his duty.\u201d I said, \u201cBrethren, the Lord must harden my heart before\nI can do such a thing.\u201d Allen said, \u201cIt is not wicked to obey counsel.\u201d\nAt this juncture I withdrew, walked off some fifty paces, and prostrated\nmyself on the ground and wept in the bitter anguish of my soul, and asked\nthe Lord to avert that evil.\n\nWhile in that situation Councillor C. Hopkins, a near friend of mine,\ncame to me and said, \u201cBrother Lee, come, get up, and don\u2019t draw off\nfrom the priesthood. You ought not to do so. You are only endangering\nyour own life by standing out. You can\u2019t help it, if this is wrong; the\nblame won\u2019t rest on you.\u201d I said, \u201cCharley, this is the worst move this\npeople ever made; I feel it.\u201d He said, \u201cCome, go back, and let them have\ntheir way.\u201d I went back, weeping like a child, and took my place, and\ntried to be silent, and was until Higbee said, they (the emigrants) must\nbe decoyed out through pretended friendship. I could no longer hold my\npeace, and said I, \u201cJoseph Smith said that God hated a traitor, and so\ndo I: before I would be a traitor, I would rather take ten men, and go\nto that camp and tell them they must die, and now to defend themselves,\nand give them a show for their lives; that would be more honourable\nthan to betray them like Judas.\u201d Here I got another reproof, and was\nordered to hold my peace. The plan agreed upon there was to meet them\nwith a flag of truce, tell them that the Indians were determined on their\ndestruction; that we dare not oppose the Indians, for we were at their\nmercy; that the best we could do for them (the emigrants) was to get\nthem and what few traps we could take in the waggons, to lay their arms\nin the bottom of the waggon and cover them up with bed-clothes, and\nstart for the settlement as soon as possible, and to trust themselves\nin our hands. The small children and wounded were to go with the two\nwaggons, the women to follow the waggons, and the men next, the troops to\nstand in readiness on the east side of the road ready to receive them.\nSchurtz and Nephi Johnson were to conceal the Indians in the brush and\nrocks till the company was strung out on the road to a certain point,\nand at the watchword, \u201cHalt; do your duty!\u201d each man was to cover his\nvictim and fire. Johnson and Schurtz were to rally the Indians, and rush\nupon and despatch the women and larger children. It was further told\nthe men that President Haight said, if we were united in carrying out\nthe instructions, we would all receive \u201ccelestial reward.\u201d I said I was\nwilling to put up with a less reward if I could be excused. \u201cHow can you\ndo this without shedding innocent blood?\u201d Here I got another lampooning\nfor my stubbornness and disobedience to the priesthood. I was told that\nthere was not a drop of innocent blood in the whole company of emigrants.\nAlso referred to the Gentile nations who refused the children of Israel\npassage through their country when Moses led them out of Egypt\u2014that\nthe Lord held that crime against them, and when Israel waxed strong\nthe Lord commanded Joshua to slay the whole nation, men, women, and\nchildren. \u201cHave not these people done worse than that to us? Have they\nnot threatened to murder our leaders and prophets, and have they not\nboasted of murdering our patriarchs and prophets, Joseph and Hyrum? Now\ntalk about shedding innocent blood.\u201d They said I was a good, liberal,\nfree-hearted man, but too much of this sympathy would be always in the\nway; that every man now had to show his colours; that it was not safe\nto have a Judas in camp. Then it was proposed that every man express\nhimself; that if there was a man who would not keep a close mouth, they\nwanted to know it then. This gave me to understand what I might expect\nif I continued to oppose. Major Higbee said, \u201cBrother Lee is right. Let\nhim take an expression of the people.\u201d I knew I dared not refuse; so I\nhad every man speak and express himself. All said they were willing to\ncarry out the counsel of their leaders; that the leaders had the spirit\nof God, and knew better what was right than they did. They then wanted to\nknow my feelings. I replied, I have already expressed them. Every eye was\nupon me as I paused; \u201cbut,\u201d said I, \u201cyou can do as you please; I will not\noppose you any longer.\u201d \u201cWill you keep a close mouth?\u201d was the question.\n\u201cI will try,\u201d was my answer. I will here say that the fear of offending\nBrigham Young and George A. Smith had saved my life. I was near being\n\u201cblood-atoned\u201d in Parowan, under J. C. L. Smith, in 1854, but on this I\nhave spoken in my autobiography.\n\nSaturday morning all was ready, and every man assigned to his post of\nduty. During the night, or rather just before daylight, Johnson and\nSchurtz ambushed their Indians, the better to deceive the emigrants.\nAbout 11 o\u2019clock a.m. the troops under Major Higbee took their position\non the road. The white flag was still kept up in the corral. Higbee\ncalled William Bateman out of the ranks to take a flag of truce to the\ncorral. He was met about half way with another white flag from the\nemigrants\u2019 camp. They had a talk. The emigrant was told we had come to\nrescue them if they would trust us. Both men with flags returned to\ntheir respective places and reported, and were to meet again and bring\nword. Higbee called me out to go and inform them the conditions, and if\naccepted, Dan McFarland, brother to John McFarland, lawyer, who acted\nas aid-de-camp, would bring back word, and then the waggons would be\nsent for the firearms, children, clothing, etc. I obeyed, and the terms\nproposed were accepted, but not without distrust. I had as little to say\nas possible; in fact, my tongue refused to perform its office. I sat down\non the ground in the corral, near where some young men were engaged in\npaying their last respects to some person who had just died of a wound.\nA large fleshy old lady came to me twice, and talked while I sat there.\nShe related their troubles; said that seven of their number were killed,\nand forty-seven wounded on the first attack; that several had died since.\nShe asked me if I were an Indian agent. I said, \u201cIn one sense I am, as\nGovernment has appointed me farmer to the Indians.\u201d I told her this to\nsatisfy her. I heard afterwards that the same question was asked and\nanswered in the same manner by McFarland, who had been sent by Higbee to\nthe corral to \u201churry me up, for fear that the Indians would come back and\nbe upon them.\u201d\n\nWhen all was ready, Samuel McMurdy, counsel to Bishop P. K. Smith\n(Klingensmith), drove out on the lead. His waggon had the seventeen\nchildren, clothing, and arms. Samuel Knight drove the other team, with\nfive wounded men and one boy about fifteen years old. I walked behind the\nfront waggon to direct the course, and to shun being in the heat of the\nslaughter; but this I kept to myself. When we got turned fairly to the\neast, I motioned to McMurdy to steer north, across the valley. I, at the\nsame time, told the women, who were next to the waggon, to follow the\nroad up to the troop, which they did. Instead of saying to McMurdy not to\ndrive so fast (as he swore on my trial), I said to the contrary, to drive\non, as my aim was to get out of sight before the firing commenced, which\nwe did. We were about half a mile ahead of the company when we heard the\nfirst firing. We drove over a ridge of rolling ground, and down on a\nlow flat. The firing was simultaneous along the whole line. The moment\nthe firing commenced McMurdy halted and tied his lines across the rod\nof the waggon-box, stepped down coolly with double-barrelled shot-gun,\nwalked back to Knight\u2019s waggon, who had the wounded men, and was about\ntwenty feet in the rear. As he raised his piece, he said, \u201cLord, my God,\nreceive their spirits, for it is for the kingdom of heaven\u2019s sake that we\ndo this,\u201d fired and killed two men. Samuel Knight had a muzzle-loading\nrifle, and he shot and killed the three men, then struck the wounded boy\non the head, who fell dead. In the meantime I drew a five-shooter from\nmy belt, which accidentally went off, cutting across McMurdy\u2019s buskin\npantaloons in front, below the crotch. McMurdy said, \u201cBrother Lee, you\nare excited; take things cool; you was near killin\u2019 me. Look where the\nbullet cut,\u201d pointing to the place in his pantaloons. At this moment I\nheard the scream of a child. I looked up and saw an Indian have a little\nboy by the hair of his head, dragging him out of the hind end of the\nwaggon, with a knife in his hand, getting ready to cut his throat. I\nsprang for the Indian with my revolver in hand, and shouted to the top\nof my voice, \u201cArick, oomo, cot too sooet\u201d (stop, you fool!). The child\nwas terror-stricken. His chin was bleeding. I supposed it was the cut\nof a knife, but afterwards learned that it was done on the waggon-box,\nas the Indian yanked the boy down by the hair of the head. I had no\nsooner rescued this child than another Indian seized a little girl by\nthe hair. I rescued her as soon as I could speak; I told the Indians\nthat they must not hurt the children\u2014that I would die before they should\nbe hurt; that we would buy the children of them. Before this time the\nIndians had rushed around the waggon in quest of blood, and despatched\nthe two runaway wounded men. In justice to my statement I would say\nthat if my shooter had not prematurely exploded, I would have had a\nhand in despatching the five wounded. I had lost control of myself, and\nscarce knew what I was about. I saw an Indian pursue a little girl who\nwas fleeing. He caught her about one hundred feet from the waggon, and\nplunged his knife through her. I said to McMurdy that he had better drive\nthe children to Hamblin\u2019s ranch, and give them some nourishment, while I\nwould go down and get my horse at the camp. Passing along the road I saw\nthe dead strung along the distance of about half a mile. The women and\nchildren were killed by the Indians. I saw Schurtz with the Indians, and\nno other white man with them. When I came to the men, they lay about a\nrod apart. Here I came up with Higbee, Bishop Smith, and the rest of the\ncompany.\n\nAs I came up, Higbee said to me, \u201cLet us search these persons for\nvaluables,\u201d and asked me to assist him; gave me a hat to hold. Several\nmen were already engaged in searching the bodies. I replied that I was\nunwell, and wanted to get upon my horse and go to the ranch and nurse\nmyself. My request was granted. Reaching Hamblin\u2019s ranch\u2014being heartsick\nand worn out\u2014I lay down on my saddle-blanket and slept, and knew but\nlittle of what passed during the night.\n\nAbout daybreak in the morning, I heard the voices of Col. Dame and Isaac\nC. Haight. I heard some very angry words pass between them, which drew\nmy attention. Dame said he would have to report the destruction of the\nemigrant camp and company. Haight said, \u201cHow, as an Indian massacre?\u201d\nDame said he did not know so well about that. This reply seemed to\nirritate Haight, who spoke quite loudly, saying, \u201cHow the \u2014\u2014 can you\nreport it any other way without implicating yourself?\u201d At this Dame\nlowered his voice almost to a whisper; I could not understand what he\nsaid, and the conversation stopped.\n\nI got up, saw the children, and among the others the boy who was pulled\nby the hair of his head out of the waggon by the Indian and saved by me;\nthat boy I took home and kept until Dr. Forney, Government agent, came\nto gather up the children and take them East; he took the boy with the\nothers; that boy\u2019s name was William Fancher; his father was captain of\nthe train; he was taken East and adopted by a man in Nebraska, named\nRichard Sloan; he remained East several years, and then returned to Utah,\nand is now a convict in the Utah Penitentiary, having been convicted the\npast year for the crime of highway robbery. He is now known by the name\nof \u201cIdaho Bill,\u201d but his true name is William Fancher. His little sister\nwas also taken East, and is now the wife of a man working for the Union\nPacific Railroad Company, near Green River. The boy (now man) has yet got\nthe scar on his chin caused by the cut on the waggon-box, and those who\nare curious enough to examine will find a large scar on the ball of his\nleft foot, caused by a deep cut made by an axe while he was with me.\n\nI got breakfast that morning. Then all hands returned to the scene of\nthe slaughter to bury the dead. The bodies were all in a nude state.\nThe Indians, through the night, had stripped them of every vestige of\nclothing. Many of the parties were laughing and talking as they carried\nthe bodies to the ravine for burial. They were just covered over a\nlittle, but did not long remain so; for the wolves dug them up, and,\nafter eating the flesh from them, the bones laid upon the ground until\nburied, some time after, by a Government military officer. At the time of\nburying the bodies Dame and Haight got into another quarrel. Dame seemed\nto be terror-stricken, and again said he would have to publish it. They\nwere about two paces from me. Dame spoke low, as if careful to avoid\nbeing heard. Haight spoke loud, and said, \u201cYou know that you counselled\nit, and ordered me to have them used up.\u201d Dame said, \u201cI did not think\nthat there were so many women and children. I thought they were nearly\nall killed by the Indians.\u201d Haight said, \u201cIt is too late in the day for\nyou to back water. You know you ordered and counselled it, and now you\nwant to back out.\u201d Dame said, \u201cHave you the papers for that?\u201d or \u201cShow\nthe papers for that.\u201d This enraged Haight to the highest pitch, and Dame\nwalked off. Haight said, \u201cYou throw the blame of this thing on me, and\nI will be revenged upon you, if I have to meet you in hell to get it.\u201d\nFrom this place we rode to the waggons; we found them stripped of their\ncovers and every particle of clothing, even the feather beds had been\nripped open and the contents turned upon the ground, looking for plunder.\nI crossed the mountains by an Indian trail, taking my little Indian boy\nwith me on my horse. The gathering up of the property and cattle was left\nin the charge of Bishop P. K. Smith. The testimony of Smith in regard to\nthe property and the disposition of it was very nearly correct.\n\nI must not forget to state, that after the attack a messenger by the\nname of James Haslem was sent with a despatch to President Brigham\nYoung, asking his advice about interfering with the company, but he did\nnot return in time. This I had no knowledge of until the massacre was\ncommitted. Some two weeks after the deed was done, Isaac C. Haight sent\nme to report to Governor Young in person. I asked him why he did not send\na written report. He replied that I could tell him more satisfactorily\nthan he could write, and if I would stand up and shoulder as much of the\nresponsibility as I could conveniently, that it would be a feather in\nmy cap some day, and that I would get a celestial salvation, but that\nthe man who shrank from it now would go to hell. I went and did as I was\ncommanded. Brigham asked me if Isaac C. Haight had written a letter to\nhim. I replied, not by me, but I said he wished me to report in person.\n\u201cAll right,\u201d said Brigham; \u201cwere you an eye-witness?\u201d \u201cTo the most of\nit,\u201d was my reply. Then I proceeded and gave him a full history of all\nexcept that of my opposition. That I left out entirely. I told him of\nthe killing of the women and children, and the betraying of the company.\nThat, I told him, I was opposed to, but I did not say to him to what\nextent I was opposed to it, only that I was opposed to shedding innocent\nblood. \u201cWhy,\u201d said he, \u201cyou differ from Isaac (Haight), for he said\nthere was not a drop of innocent blood in the whole company.\u201d When I was\nthrough, he said that it was awful; that he cared nothing about the men,\nbut the women and children was what troubled him. I said, \u201cPresident\nYoung, you should either release men from their obligation or sustain\nthem when they do what they have entered into the most sacred obligations\nto do.\u201d He replied, \u201cI will think over the matter, and make it a subject\nof prayer, and you may come back in the morning and see me.\u201d I did so,\nand he said, \u201cJohn, I feel first-rate; I asked the Lord if it was all\nright for that deed to be done, to take away the vision of the deed from\nmy mind, and the Lord did so, and I feel first-rate. It is all right.\nThe only fear I have is of traitors.\u201d He told me never to lisp it to\nany mortal being, not even to Brother Heber. President Young has always\ntreated me with the friendship of a father since, and has sealed several\nwomen to me since, and has made my house his home when in that part of\nthe territory, until danger has threatened him. This is a true statement\naccording to the best of my recollection.\n\n                                                             JOHN D. LEE.\n\n\n\n\nKILLING A RIVAL PROPHET.\n\n\nEnough has been already written to satisfy all with whom facts have any\nweight that the Mormonism which claims in Europe to be \u201cof Christ,\u201d is in\nUtah a despotism of the harshest character, allied to falsehood, murder,\nand the worst of crimes that degrade human nature. And here would I rest\nmy pen; but it seems that one other episode in Utah life should still be\nadded, showing as it does the intolerance of the ruling Mormon Priesthood\nwhen their own sway is challenged.\n\nThirty-five miles north of Salt Lake City\u2014a short distance from where\nthe Union Pacific debouches from Weber Canyon\u2014a Welchman named Joseph\nMorris had found eager listeners to new revelations. The Bishop of\nKington Fort, Richard Cook, formerly a noted Missionary in Manchester,\nEngland, and a number of intelligent men and women, received gladly the\nnew prophet who had been raised up by \u201cthe Lord\u201d to \u201cdeliver Israel\nfrom bondage.\u201d Numerous believers in a very short time gathered from\nvarious parts of the territory, and Kington fort, on the Weber, became an\nimportant place. Morris abounded with revelations. His \u201cgifts\u201d exceeded\nin profusion those of all who had ever gone before him. The founder of\nMormonism was nothing in comparison with his disciple from Wales. The\nadherents of the new prophet were perfectly overjoyed at the abundance\nof light that now shone upon their path, and some very intelligent men\ngathered to the Weber. Three English and three Danish clerks were daily\nemployed in writing the heavenly communications from the mouth of the\nnew prophet. Brigham had been barren\u2014Morris was overflowing. The new\ndisciples \u201cconsecrated\u201d all they possessed to a common fund. Christ\nwas seen to descend among them, and their wants would only be of short\nduration. As \u201cthe Lord\u201d tarried, the enthusiasm of some of the converts\ncooled, and here began the difficulty with the new prophet. It became\na question how much of their property they could reclaim. It had all\nbeen \u201cconsecrated.\u201d The leading men of the sect decided to let them\npeacefully retire; but it was expected that they would honestly meet\ntheir accrued share of the obligations of the little colony. Some of them\nproved dishonest, and attempted to take away better cattle than they had\nbrought, and they refused to make allowance for the support they had\nderived from the property of others. A feud arose, the dissenters applied\nto the Mormon Courts, and the latter were pleased with the opportunity\nafforded. Writs were issued, served and repulsed. The dissenters waited\nfor the chance of seizing the moveable property of the colony, and as\nwheat was sent to mill they pounced upon it, and took teams and waggons\nas well. On one occasion the Morrisites arose early in the morning, and\nspread themselves over the country, keeping within view of the advancing\nteams. As the dissenter and two others pounced upon the convoy the second\ntime, up sprang the Morrisites from places of concealment, and took them\nprisoners. They were taken to Kington Fort and imprisoned. The friends of\nthe captured men sought their release ineffectually, for the Sheriff in\nthat country could do nothing. One or two of the wives of the prisoners\nwent to Brigham, but he refused to interfere. He was too shrewd to meddle\ndirectly in the affair. Justice Kinney was next visited. As judge of that\njudicial district a petition was filed before him, setting forth that\nthese men were kept in close confinement and heavily ironed by order of\nJoseph Morris, John Banks, and Richard Cook. On the 24th of May, 1862,\na writ of habeas corpus was issued to the Territorial Marshal, and by\nhis deputy served, but no attention was paid to it. On the 11th of June\na second writ was issued and was also disregarded. Kinney was intensely\nindignant, and insisted upon the militia being called out as a posse\ncomitatus to accompany the Territorial Marshal. Acting Governor Fuller\nissued the necessary order. The Morrisites had been warned by the \u201cLord\u201d\nthat the \u201cBrighamites\u201d were plotting their destruction, and accordingly\npurchased all the rifles and ammunition possible. Early on the morning of\nthe 13th of June an armed posse were seen on South Mountain overlooking\nthe Morrisite community, and the following proclamation was sent to the\nMorrisites by one of their herd-boys:\n\n                       Head-quarters, Marshal\u2019s Posse, Weber River,\n                                                     June 13, 1862.\n\n    _To Joseph Morris, John Banks, Richard Cook, John Parsons, and\n    Peter Klemgard_:\n\n    Whereas you have heretofore disregarded and defied the\n    judicial officers and laws of the Territory of Utah: and\n    whereas certain writs have been issued for you from the Third\n    Judicial District Court of said Territory, and a sufficient\n    force furnished by the executive of the same to enforce\n    the laws. This is therefore to notify you to peaceably and\n    quietly surrender yourselves and the prisoners in your\n    custody forthwith. An answer is required in thirty minutes\n    after the receipt of this document; if not, forcible measures\n    will be taken for your arrest. Should you disregard this\n    proposition and place your lives in jeopardy, you are hereby\n    required to remove your women and children: and all persons\n    peaceably disposed are hereby notified to forthwith leave your\n    encampment, and are informed that they can find protection with\n    this posse.\n\n                                                 H. W. LAWRENCE,\n                                             _Territorial Marshal_.\n\n    Per R. T. Burton and Theodore McKean, deputies.\n\nA gentleman who was then in the Morrisites camp has furnished the\nauthor with the following statement:\u2014Morris, a firm believer in the\nrevelations he received, remarked, in answer to the inquiry \u201cWhat shall\nbe done?\u201d that he would \u201cgo and inquire of the Lord.\u201d He was soon heard\nin solemn and earnest prayer. In the meantime word was sent round the\ncamp for the people to at once assemble in meeting and consult on the\nquestion. Women and children came together hurriedly, yet there was no\nexcitement, and soon the Bowery was well filled. Morris was seen to come\nout from his dwelling with a paper in his hand. This paper proved to\nbe a written revelation. His council were awaiting him. The revelation\nwas read to the council, and a peculiar document it was. It purported\nto be from God, who was represented as being pleased with his faithful\npeople there, and as having brought the posse against them to show his\nown power in the complete destruction of their enemies. It also promised\nthat now the triumph of his people should come. Their enemies should be\nsmitten before them, but that not one of his faithful people should be\ndestroyed\u2014that \u201cnot a hair of their heads should be harmed.\u201d The council\nat once stepped out into the Bowery, close to which lived all the leading\nmen, and, to save time, singing was omitted, and the meeting was opened\nbriefly by prayer. John Parsons (previously a noted Mormon preacher\nin London), in his clear sonorous voice, then read the revelation. R.\nCook arose to consult with the people as to which should be obeyed\u2014the\nproclamation demanding the surrender of the prisoners held in custody\nof Peter Klemgard, and four of the leading men of the Church, or the\nrevelation forbidding the surrender of these men. Before the people had a\nchance to speak or vote, or do anything at all in the matter, the booming\nsound of a cannon was heard, and screams arose from the third seat from\nthe stand in the Bowery, and instantly two women were seen dead in the\ncongregation, and the lower jaw, hanging only by a small strip of skin,\nwas shot off a young girl of from twelve to fifteen years of age. It\nwas the fearful and heart-rending screams of this girl that stopped the\nmeeting. The people arose in utter confusion. Cook, still on his feet,\nsuggested to all to go at once to their homes, and that each man should\ntake care of his own family as best he could. Never was a revelation\nmore immediately falsified, for scarcely had the promise of absolute\nsafety been made than sudden destruction came. Panic-stricken men and\nwomen rushed hither and thither, some seeking safety in cellars, some in\npotato-pits; in short, anywhere or in any place in which security could\nbe either reasonably or unreasonably hoped for. The first shot was in a\nfew minutes followed by another and still another, and the attack was\ncontinued. The posse drew nearer and nearer, and the firing was kept\nup incessantly both with cannon and musketry. Had Burton or McKean had\nthe pluck of a common constable, they could have gone safely into the\nfort, served the summons, and saved all effusion of blood. There was\nnot a Morrisite in the fort that was armed or thought of arming. They\nmet to consider the question, and to pray over it. About an hour and\na half after the firing commenced they got their arms and effected an\norganization, and a regular defence was made. After fighting three days\nthey raised the white flag, and ceased firing. Cautiously Burton and his\naids, with a number of men, entered into the camp, and then transpired a\nbloody scene, concerning which the following affidavit has been made:\n\n                  United States of America, Territory of Utah, S.S.\n\n    Alexander Dow, of said territory, being duly sworn, says: \u201cIn\n    the spring of 1861 I joined the Morrisites, and was present\n    when Joseph Morris was killed. The Morrisites had surrendered,\n    a white flag was flying, and the arms were all grounded and\n    guarded by a large number of the posse. Robert T. Burton\n    and Judson L. Stoddard rode in among the Morrisites. Burton\n    was excited. He said, \u201cWhere is the man? I don\u2019t know him.\u201d\n    Stoddard replied, \u201cThat\u2019s him,\u201d pointing to Morris. Barton\n    rode his horse upon Morris, and commanded him to give himself\n    up in the name of the Lord. Morris replied, \u201cNo, never, never!\u201d\n    Morris said he wanted to speak to the people. Burton said, \u201cBe\n    d\u2014d quick about it.\u201d Morris said, \u201cBrethren, I\u2019ve taught you\n    true principles.\u201d He had scarcely got the words out of his\n    mouth before Burton fired his revolver. The ball passed in his\n    neck or shoulder. Burton exclaimed, \u201cThere\u2019s your prophet.\u201d He\n    fired again, saying, \u201cWhat do you think of your prophet now?\u201d\n    He then turned suddenly and shot Banks, who was standing five\n    or six paces distant. Banks fell. Mrs. Bowman, wife of James\n    Bowman, came running up crying, \u201cOh, you bloodthirsty wretch!\u201d\n    Burton said, \u201cNo one shall tell me that and live,\u201d and shot her\n    dead. A Danish woman then came running up to Morris, crying,\n    and Burton shot her dead also. Burton could easily have taken\n    Morris and Banks prisoners, if he had tried. I was standing but\n    a few feet from Burton all this time. And further saith not.\n\n                                                     ALEXANDER DOW.\n\n    Subscribed and sworn before me, this 18th day of April, A.D.\n    1863.\n\n                                              CHARLES B. WAITE,\n                                          _Associate Justice, U.T._\n\nIn the fight two of the Marshal\u2019s posse were killed, and six of the\nMorrisites, and three of the latter were wounded. Only one in the\nMorrisite camp was killed by rifle-ball. It was the cannon at long range\nthat did the damage. The first shot killed two women as before stated,\nand wounded a girl; another cannon-ball killed a woman and her child in\nthe \u201cwickiup.\u201d The mother-in-law of the new prophet was also killed in\nher \u201cwickiup.\u201d A little infant had two narrow escapes. The first shot\nkilled its mother, Mrs. Marsh, while it was in her arms, and it was in\nthe arms of Mrs. Bowman when she was shot down. After the surrender all\nthe prisoners were marched to Salt Lake on the 17th, and on the 18th they\nwere examined before Judge Kinney in chambers, and placed under bonds\nto appear at the next regular term of Court. In urging measures against\nthe Morrisites, Kinney claimed to be satisfied that he did only do his\nduty. It is difficult to see how he could long be passive when the order\nof his Court was disregarded. Burton committed the atrocity of which he\nis accused most undoubtedly, and it was the work of a devoted fanatic,\nwho, seeking to please the Prophet Brigham, did not hesitate to do so by\nridding him of a troublesome rival. That John Banks was foully dealt with\nthere seems little room to doubt. He was wounded at the time of Morris\u2019s\ndeath, but not fatally. The manner of his \u201ctaking off\u201d only is obscure.\nIn the evening he was well enough to sit up and enjoy his pipe. Suddenly\nhe died. Was he poisoned, shot, or \u201cknifed?\u201d is the only query. It is\ngenerally believed that Dr. Clinton \u201cknifed him.\u201d Banks was among the\nfirst to receive Mormonism in Preston, Lancashire, England. He was soon\nordained a high-priest, and during many years of labour among the Saints\nhe had presided over the largest conferences in Britain, and at one time\nwas one of the Presidency over the whole Church there. He was the most\neloquent preacher that was ever in the Mormon Church. As his faith waned\nin Mormonism he was painfully grieved, and at times became intemperate.\nBefore he was a Mormon he had been a Chartist, and the \u201cdespotism\u201d of the\nruling Priesthood was irksome to him. Years before he left England for\nZion he silently mourned over the one-man power. His best life had been\nspent for Mormonism, and he was then too far advanced in years to begin\na new life, and he emigrated to Zion when ordered, hoping that his fears\nmight be removed by better experience. Brigham Young was personally kind\nto him after he arrived at Salt Lake, and sought to help him over his\nmaterial troubles; but there was in the heart of John Banks more than he\ncould tell the Prophet. When he heard Morris, it was the opening of a\nfresh career to him, and he eagerly embraced the new faith.\n\nBefore the regular session of the Third Judicial District Court, at\nwhich the Morrisites were to be tried, an element was imported into\nUtah that was destined to trouble the happiness of the Prophet. A new\nGovernor, in the person of Stephen S. Harding, of Indiana, was appointed\nto succeed Dawson; and Thomas J. Drake of Michigan and Charles B. Waite\nof Illinois, were appointed Associate Justices. At the same time a body\nof California volunteers, under command of Colonel Connor, were sent on\nthe overland mail route to protect that and the telegraph line across\nthe Plains, but the Commander had also instructions to establish posts\nnear Salt Lake City. At the March session of the Third Judicial District\nCourt the Morrisites were tried. Ten of them were indicted for killing\ntwo of the posse during the flight; seven of these were convicted, one\nwas \u201cnolled,\u201d and two were acquitted. Sixty-six others were fined $100\neach for resisting the posse. Of the seven convicted of \u201cmurder in the\nsecond degree,\u201d one was sentenced to fifteen years\u2019 imprisonment, one to\ntwelve years, and five to ten years each. Governor Harding, regarding the\nprisoners as deserving of clemency, pardoned them all. Most of those who\nhad professed the Morrisite faith, and who did not immediately leave the\nTerritory, found employment and refuge at Camp Douglas.\n\nA month later, Colonel Connor took 250 of them and a company of the\nCalifornia volunteers, to Soda Springs, where he established a post in\nIdaho, immediately beyond the northern Territorial limits of Utah, and\nthe Morrisites have there lost their peculiarities among a more humane\npopulation. After the \u201cMorrisite war\u201d Burton enjoyed the respect of the\ncommunity and the honours of the Church. Offices and appointments were\nshowered upon him, and wives multiplied in his household. If Brigham\nwas horrified at the murder of Morris, Banks, and the two women, he was\nunfelicitous in its expression. Burton was, through his influence, made\nUnited States Assessor of Internal Revenue, was made a Bishop of the\nChurch, and grew from Colonel Burton to Brigadier and Major-General.\nHe was made a member of the City Government and Sheriff of the county\nof Great Salt Lake. His wealth increased with his honours, and he was\nassociated with Brigham in nearly all of his enterprises. About four\nyears ago the first move was made against him by the grand jury for the\nmurders on the Weber, and he managed to conceal himself for about a year,\nand was sent on a mission \u201cto preach the gospel\u201d in England, with the\nindictment for murder hanging over him. There he was further elevated,\nand when he returned to \u201cZion\u201d he was again honoured by being appointed\nthe second counsellor to the chief Bishop of the whole Mormon Church. For\nthe last eighteen months he has enjoyed perfect freedom, and has attended\nto his numerous affairs with the utmost assurance that nothing could be\ndone with him, and in that he is probably correct, for nothing has ever\nbeen done against a prominent Mormon like Burton when a jury had the\ndisposal of the business.\n\nOn the 6th of March, 1879, with all this evidence, and the testimony of\nliving eye-witnesses before them, Major-General Burton was acquitted, by\na jury in Salt Lake City, of the murder of Mrs. Bowman!\n\n\n\n\nFOOTNOTES\n\n\n[1] I myself made a movement with my hand\u2014for I believed that my life was\nat stake, and I dared not do otherwise. The words of the oath I did not\nutter. [See explanation at the end of the chapter.]\n\n[2] _Mormonism Exposed_, p. 236.\n\n[3] Besides poor Mary\u2019s family, in _every_ other instance [with the\nsolitary exception of Sister Ann\u2014my \u201ctalkative friend\u201d\u2014who is still\nliving, and is so well known in Salt Lake City], I have been as\nscrupulous in giving _real_ names as I have been in stating only facts\nwhich I had either witnessed or knew beyond question were true.\n\n\nGILBERT AND RIVINGTON, PRINTERS, ST. JOHN\u2019S SQUARE, LONDON.","title":"An Englishwoman in Utah: The Story of a Life's Experience in Mormonism","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":172492}