{"collection":"philosophy-ethics","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_67466/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_67466","id":"gutenberg_67466","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67466","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Gender & Sexuality Studies","Category: Philosophy & Ethics","Category: Teaching & Education","Women -- Conduct of life","Women -- Social and moral questions","Young women"],"text":"THOUGHTS\n\n                                 ON THE\n\n                               EDUCATION\n\n                                   OF\n\n                               DAUGHTERS:\n\n                                  WITH\n\n                     REFLECTIONS ON FEMALE CONDUCT,\n\n                                   IN\n\n                   The more important DUTIES of LIFE,\n\n\n                        By MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT.\n\n\n                                LONDON:\n               PRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON, N^o 72, ST. PAUL\u2019S\n                              CHURCH-YARD.\n\n                             M DCC LXXXVII.\n\n\n\n\n                                PREFACE.\n\n\nIn the following pages I have endeavoured to point out some important\nthings with respect to female education. It is true, many treatises have\nbeen already written; yet it occurred to me, that much still remained to\nbe said. I shall not swell these sheets by writing apologies for my\nattempt. I am afraid, indeed, the reflections will, by some, be thought\ntoo grave; but I could not make them less so without writing affectedly;\nyet, though they may be insipid to the gay, others may not think them\nso; and if they should prove useful to one fellow-creature, and beguile\nany hours, which sorrow has made heavy, I shall think I have not been\nemployed in vain.\n\n\n\n\n                                CONTENTS\n\n PREFACE\n The NURSERY\n MORAL DISCIPLINE\n EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS\n ARTIFICIAL MANNERS\n DRESS\n The FINE ARTS\n READING\n BOARDING-SCHOOLS\n The TEMPER\n Unfortunate Situation of Females, fashionably educated, and left without\n    a Fortune\n LOVE\n MATRIMONY\n DESULTORY THOUGHTS\n THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS\n ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS\n THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY\n ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES\n BENEVOLENCE\n CARD-PLAYING\n THE THEATRE\n PUBLIC PLACES\n\n\n\n\n                                THOUGHTS\n                                 ON THE\n\n                               EDUCATION\n\n                                   OF\n\n                               DAUGHTERS.\n\n\n\n\n                              THE NURSERY.\n\n\nAs I conceive it to be the duty of every rational creature to attend to\nits offspring, I am sorry to observe, that reason and duty together have\nnot so powerful an influence over human conduct, as instinct has in the\nbrute creation. Indolence, and a thoughtless disregard of every thing,\nexcept the present indulgence, make many mothers, who may have momentary\nstarts of tenderness, neglect their children. They follow a pleasing\nimpulse, and never reflect that reason should cultivate and govern those\ninstincts which are implanted in us to render the path of duty\npleasant\u2014for if they are not governed they will run wild; and strengthen\nthe passions which are ever endeavouring to obtain dominion\u2014I mean\nvanity and self-love.\n\nThe first thing to be attended to, is laying the foundation of a good\nconstitution. The mother (if there are not very weighty reasons to\nprevent her) ought to suckle her children. Her milk is their proper\nnutriment, and for some time is quite sufficient. Were a regular mode of\nsuckling adopted, it would be far from being a laborious task. Children,\nwho are left to the care of ignorant nurses, have their stomachs\noverloaded with improper food, which turns acid, and renders them very\nuncomfortable. We should be particularly careful to guard them in their\ninfant state from bodily pain; as their minds can then afford them no\namusement to alleviate it. The first years of a child\u2019s life are\nfrequently made miserable through negligence or ignorance. Their\ncomplaints are mostly in their stomach or bowels; and these complaints\ngenerally arise from the quality and quantity of their food.\n\nThe suckling of a child also excites the warmest glow of tenderness\u2014Its\ndependant, helpless state produces an affection, which may properly be\ntermed maternal. I have even felt it, when I have seen a mother perform\nthat office; and am of opinion, that maternal tenderness arises quite as\nmuch from habit as instinct. It is possible, I am convinced, to acquire\nthe affection of a parent for an adopted child; it is necessary,\ntherefore, for a mother to perform the office of one, in order to\nproduce in herself a rational affection for her offspring.\n\nChildren very early contract the manners of those about them. It is easy\nto distinguish the child of a well-bred person, if it is not left\nentirely to the nurse\u2019s care. These women are of course ignorant, and to\nkeep a child quiet for the moment, they humour all its little caprices.\nVery soon does it begin to be perverse, and eager to be gratified in\nevery thing. The usual mode of acting is complying with the humours\nsometimes, and contradicting them at others\u2014just according to the\ndictates of an uncorrected temper. This the infant finds out earlier\nthan can be imagined, and it gives rise to an affection devoid of\nrespect. Uniformity of conduct is the only feasible method of creating\nboth. An inflexible adherence to any rule that has been laid down makes\nchildren comfortable, and saves the mother and nurse much trouble, as\nthey will not often contest, if they have not once conquered. They will,\nI am sure, love and respect a person who treats them properly, if some\none else does not indiscreetly indulge them. I once heard a judicious\nfather say, \u201cHe would treat his child as he would his horse: first\nconvince it he was its master, and then its friend.\u201d But yet a rigid\nstyle of behaviour is by no means to be adopted; on the contrary, I wish\nto remark, that it is only in the years of childhood that the happiness\nof a human being depends entirely on others\u2014and to embitter those years\nby needless restraint is cruel. To conciliate affection, affection must\nbe shown, and little proofs of it ought always to be given\u2014let them not\nappear weaknesses, and they will sink deep into the young mind, and call\nforth its most amiable propensities. The turbulent passions may be kept\ndown till reason begins to dawn.\n\nIn the nursery too, they are taught to speak; and there they not only\nhear nonsense, but that nonsense retailed out in such silly, affected\ntones as must disgust;\u2014yet these are the tones which the child first\nimitates, and its innocent playful manner renders them tolerable, if not\npleasing; but afterwards they are not easily got the better of\u2014nay, many\nwomen always retain the pretty prattle of the nursery, and do not forget\nto lisp, when they have learnt to languish.\n\nChildren are taught revenge and lies in their very cradles. If they fall\ndown, or strike their heads against any thing, to quiet them they are\nbid return the injury, and their little hands held out to do it. When\nthey cry, or are troublesome, the cat or dog is chastised, or some\nbugbear called to take them away; which only terrifies them at first,\nfor they soon find out that the nurse means nothing by these dreadful\nthreatenings. Indeed, so well do they discover the fallacy, that I have\nseen little creatures, who could scarcely speak, play over the same\ntricks with their doll or the cat.\n\nHow, then, when the mind comes under discipline, can precepts of truth\nbe inforced, when the first examples they have had would lead them to\npractice the contrary?\n\n\n\n\n                           MORAL DISCIPLINE.\n\n\nIt has been asserted, \u201cThat no being, merely human, could properly\neducate a child.\u201d I entirely coincide with this author; but though\nperfection cannot be attained, and unforeseen events will ever govern\nhuman conduct, yet still it is our duty to lay down some rule to\nregulate our actions by, and to adhere to it, as consistently as our\ninfirmities will permit. To be able to follow Mr. Locke\u2019s system (and\nthis may be said of almost all treatises on education) the parents must\nhave subdued their own passions, which is not often the case in any\nconsiderable degree.\n\nThe marriage state is too often a state of discord; it does not always\nhappen that both parents are rational, and the weakest have it in their\npower to do most mischief.\n\nHow then are the tender minds of children to be cultivated?\u2014Mamma is\nonly anxious that they should love her best, and perhaps takes pains to\nsow those seeds, which have produced such luxuriant weeds in her own\nmind. Or, what still more frequently occurs, the children are at first\nmade play-things of, and when their tempers have been spoiled by\nindiscreet indulgence, they become troublesome, and are mostly left with\nservants; the first notions they imbibe, therefore, are mean and vulgar.\nThey are taught cunning, the wisdom of that class of people, and a love\nof truth, the foundation of virtue, is soon obliterated from their\nminds. It is, in my opinion, a well-proved fact, that principles of\ntruth are innate. Without reasoning we assent to many truths; we feel\ntheir force, and artful sophistry can only blunt those feelings which\nnature has implanted in us as instinctive guards to virtue.\nDissimulation and cunning will soon drive all other good qualities\nbefore them, and deprive the mind of that beautiful simplicity, which\ncan never be too much cherished.\n\nIndeed it is of the utmost consequence to make a child artless, or to\nspeak with more propriety, not to teach them to be otherwise; and in\norder to do so we must keep them out of the way of bad examples. Art is\nalmost always practiced by servants, and the same methods which children\nobserve them to use, to shield themselves from blame, they will\nadopt\u2014and cunning is so nearly allied to falsehood, that it will\ninfallibly lead to it\u2014or some foolish prevaricating subterfuge will\noccur; to silence any reproaches of the mind which may arise, if an\nattention to truth has been inculcated.\n\nAnother cause or source of art is injudicious correction. Accidents or\ngiddy tricks are too frequently punished, and if children can conceal\nthese, they will, to avoid chastisement. Restrain them, therefore, but\nnever correct them without a very sufficient cause; such as a violation\nof truth, cruelty to animals, inferiors, or those kind of follies which\nlead to vice.\n\nChildren should be permitted to enter into conversation; but it requires\ngreat discernment to find out such subjects as will gradually improve\nthem. Animals are the first objects which catch their attention; and I\nthink little stories about them would not only amuse but instruct at the\nsame time, and have the best effect in forming the temper and\ncultivating the good dispositions of the heart. There are many little\nbooks which have this tendency. One in particular I recollect: The\nPerambulations of a Mouse. I cannot here help mentioning a book of\nhymns, in measured prose, written by the ingenious author of many other\nproper lessons for children. These hymns, I imagine, would contribute to\nfill the heart with religious sentiments and affections; and, if I may\nbe allowed the expression, make the Deity obvious to the senses. The\nunderstanding, however, should not be overloaded any more than the\nstomach. Intellectual improvements, like the growth and formation of the\nbody, must be gradual\u2014yet there is no reason why the mind should lie\nfallow, while its \u201cfrail tenement\u201d is imperceptibly fitting itself for a\nmore reasonable inhabitant. It will not lie fallow; promiscuous seeds\nwill be sown by accident, and they will shoot up with the wheat, and\nperhaps never be eradicated.\n\nWhenever a child asks a question, it should always have a reasonable\nanswer given it. Its little passions should be engaged. They are mostly\nfond of stories, and proper ones would improve them even while they are\namused. Instead of these, their heads are filled with improbable tales,\nand superstitious accounts of invisible beings, which breed strange\nprejudices and vain fears in their minds.\n\nThe lisp of the nursery is confirmed, and vulgar phrases are acquired;\nwhich children, if possible, should never hear. To be able to express\nthe thoughts with facility and propriety, is of great consequence in\nlife, and if children were never led astray in this particular, it would\nprevent much trouble.\n\nThe riot too of the kitchen, or any other place where children are left\nonly with servants, makes the decent restraint of the parlour irksome. A\ngirl, who has vivacity, soon grows a romp; and if there are male\nservants, they go out a walking with them, and will frequently take\nlittle freedoms with Miss, the bearing with which gives a forwardness to\nher air, and makes her pert. The becoming modesty, which being\naccustomed to converse with superiors, will give a girl, is entirely\ndone away. I must own, I am quite charmed when I see a sweet young\ncreature, shrinking as it were from observation, and listening rather\nthan talking. It is possible a girl may have this manner without having\na very good understanding. If it should be so, this diffidence prevents\nher from being troublesome.\n\nIt is the duty of a parent to preserve a child from receiving wrong\nimpressions.\u2014As to prejudices, the first notions we have deserve that\nname; for it is not till we begin to waver in our opinions, that we\nexert our reason to examine them\u2014and then, if they are received, they\nmay be called our own.\n\nThe first things, then, that children ought to be encouraged to observe,\nare a strict adherence to truth; a proper submission to superiors; and\ncondescension to inferiors. These are the main articles; but there are\nmany others, which compared to them are trivial, and yet are of\nimportance. It is not pleasing to see a child full of bows and grimaces;\nyet they need not be suffered to be rude. They should be employed, and\nsuch fables and tales may be culled out for them as would excite their\ncuriosity. A taste for the beauties of nature should be very early\ncultivated: many things, with respect to the vegetable and animal world,\nmay be explained in an amusing way; and this is an innocent source of\npleasure within every one\u2019s reach.\n\nAbove all, try to teach them to combine their ideas. It is of more use\nthan can be conceived, for a child to learn to compare things that are\nsimilar in some respects, and different in others. I wish them to be\ntaught to think\u2014thinking, indeed, is a severe exercise, and exercise of\neither mind or body will not at first be entered on, but with a view to\npleasure. Not that I would have them make long reflections; for when\nthey do not arise from experience, they are mostly absurd.\n\n\n\n\n                       EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.\n\n\nUnder this head may be ranked all those accomplishments which merely\nrender the person attractive; and those half-learnt ones which do not\nimprove the mind. \u201cA little learning of any kind is a dangerous thing;\u201d\nand so far from making a person pleasing, it has the contrary effect.\n\nParents have mostly some weighty business in hand, which they make a\npretext to themselves for neglecting the arduous task of educating their\nchildren; they are therefore sent to school, and the allowance for them\nis so low, that the person who undertakes the charge must have more than\nshe can possibly attend to; of course, the mechanical parts of education\ncan only be observed. I have known children who could repeat things in\nthe order they learnt them, that were quite at a loss when put out of\nthe beaten track. If the understanding is not exercised, the memory will\nbe employed to little purpose.\n\nGirls learn something of music, drawing, and geography; but they do not\nknow enough to engage their attention, and render it an employment of\nthe mind. If they can play over a few tunes to their acquaintance, and\nhave a drawing or two (half done by the master) to hang up in their\nrooms, they imagine themselves artists for the rest of their lives. It\nis not the being able to execute a trifling landscape, or any thing of\nthe kind, that is of consequence\u2014These are at best but trifles, and the\nfoolish, indiscriminate praises which are bestowed on them only produce\nvanity. But what is really of no importance, when considered in this\nlight, becomes of the utmost, when a girl has a fondness for the art,\nand a desire of excellence. Whatever tends to make a person in some\nmeasure independent of the senses, is a prop to virtue. Amusing\nemployments must first occupy the mind; and as an attention to moral\nduties leads to piety, so whoever weighs one subject will turn to\nothers, and new ideas will rush into the mind. The faculties will be\nexercised, and not suffered to sleep, which will give a variety to the\ncharacter.\n\nDancing and elegance of manners are very pleasing, if too great a stress\nis not laid on them. These acquirements catch the senses, and open the\nway to the heart; but unsupported by solid good qualities, their reign\nis short.\n\nThe lively thoughtlessness of youth makes every young creature agreeable\nfor the time; but when those years are flown, and sense is not\nsubstituted in the stead of vivacity, the follies of youth are acted\nover, and they never consider, that the things which please in their\nproper season, disgust out of it. It is very absurd to see a woman,\nwhose brow time has marked with wrinkles, aping the manners of a girl in\nher teens.\n\nI do not think it foreign to the present subject to mention the trifling\nconversations women are mostly fond of. In general, they are prone to\nridicule. As they lay the greatest stress on manners, the most\nrespectable characters will not escape its lash, if deficient in this\narticle. Ridicule has been, with some people, the boasted test of\ntruth\u2014if so, our sex ought to make wonderful improvements; but I am apt\nto think, they often exert this talent till they lose all perception of\nit themselves. Affectation, and not ignorance, is the fair game for\nridicule; and even affectation some good-natured persons will spare. We\nshould never give pain without a design to amend.\n\nExterior accomplishments are not to be despised, if the acquiring of\nthem does not satisfy the possessors, and prevent their cultivating the\nmore important ones.\n\n\n\n\n                          ARTIFICIAL MANNERS.\n\n\nIt may be thought, that artificial manners and exterior accomplishments\nare much the same; but I think the former take a far wider range, and\nare materially different. The one arises from affectation, and the other\nseems only an error in judgment.\n\nThe emotions of the mind often appear conspicuous in the countenance and\nmanner. These emotions, when they arise from sensibility and virtue, are\ninexpressibly pleasing. But it is easier to copy the cast of\ncountenance, than to cultivate the virtues which animate and improve it.\n\nHow many people are like whitened sepulchres, and careful only about\nappearances! yet if we are too anxious to gain the approbation of the\nworld, we must often forfeit our own.\n\nHow bewitching is that humble softness of manners which humility gives\nbirth to, and how faint are the imitations of affectation! That\ngentleness of behaviour, which makes us courteous to all, and that\nbenevolence, which makes us loth to offend any, and studious to please\nevery creature, is sometimes copied by the polite; but how aukward is\nthe copy! The warmest professions of regard are prostituted on all\noccasions. No distinctions are made, and the esteem which is only due to\nmerit, appears to be lavished on all\u2014Nay, affection is affected; at\nleast, the language is borrowed, when there is no glow of it in the\nheart. Civility is due to all, but regard or admiration should never be\nexpressed when it is not felt.\n\nAs humility gives the most pleasing cast to the countenance, so from\nsincerity arises that artlessness of manners which is so engaging. She\nwho suffers herself to be seen as she really is, can never be thought\naffected. She is not solicitous to act a part; her endeavour is not to\nhide; but correct her failings, and her face has of course that beauty,\nwhich an attention to the mind only gives. I never knew a person really\nugly, who was not foolish or vicious; and I have seen the most beautiful\nfeatures deformed by passion and vice. It is true, regular features\nstrike at first; but it is a well ordered mind which occasions those\nturns of expression in the countenance, which make a lasting impression.\n\nFeeling is ridiculous when affected; and even when felt, ought not to be\ndisplayed. It will appear if genuine; but when pushed forward to notice,\nit is obvious vanity has rivalled sorrow, and that the prettiness of the\nthing is thought of. Let the manners arise from the mind, and let there\nbe no disguise for the genuine emotions of the heart.\n\nThings merely ornamental are soon disregarded, and disregard can\nscarcely be borne when there is no internal support.\n\nTo have in this uncertain world some stay, which cannot be undermined,\nis of the utmost consequence; and this stay it is, which gives that\ndignity to the manners, which shews that a person does not depend on\nmere human applause for comfort and satisfaction.\n\n\n\n\n                                 DRESS.\n\n\nMany able pens have dwelt on the peculiar foibles of our sex. We have\nbeen equally desired to avoid the two extremes in dress, and the\nnecessity of cleanliness has been insisted on, \u201cAs from the body\u2019s\npurity the mind receives a sympathetic aid.\u201d\n\nBy far too much of a girl\u2019s time is taken up in dress. This is an\nexterior accomplishment; but I chose to consider it by itself. The body\nhides the mind, and it is, in its turn, obscured by the drapery. I hate\nto see the frame of a picture so glaring, as to catch the eye and divide\nthe attention. Dress ought to adorn the person, and not rival it. It may\nbe simple, elegant, and becoming, without being expensive; and\nridiculous fashions disregarded, while singularity is avoided. The\nbeauty of dress (I shall raise astonishment by saying so) is its not\nbeing conspicuous one way or the other; when it neither distorts, or\nhides the human form by unnatural protuberances. If ornaments are much\nstudied, a consciousness of being well dressed will appear in the\nface\u2014and surely this mean pride does not give much sublimity to it.\n\n\u201cOut of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.\u201d And how much\nconversation does dress furnish, which surely cannot be very improving\nor entertaining.\n\nIt gives rise to envy, and contests for trifling superiority, which do\nnot render a woman very respectable to the other sex.\n\nArts are used to obtain money; and much is squandered away, which if\nsaved for charitable purposes, might alleviate the distress of many poor\nfamilies, and soften the heart of the girl who entered into such scenes\nof woe.\n\nIn the article of dress may be included the whole tribe of\nbeauty-washes, cosmetics, Olympian dew, oriental herbs, liquid bloom,\nand the paint which enlivened Ninon\u2019s face, and bid defiance to time.\nThese numerous and essential articles are advertised in so ridiculous a\nstyle, that the rapid sale of them is a very severe reflection on the\nunderstanding of those females who encourage it. The dew and herbs, I\nimagine, are very harmless, but I do not know whether the same may be\nsaid of the paint. White is certainly very prejudicial to the health,\nand never can be made to resemble nature. The red, too, takes off from\nthe expression of the countenance, and the beautiful glow which modesty,\naffection, or any other emotion of the mind, gives, can never be seen.\nIt is not \u201ca mind-illumined face.\u201d \u201cThe body does not charm, because the\nmind is seen,\u201d but just the contrary; and if caught by it a man marries\na woman thus disguised, he may chance not to be satisfied with her real\nperson. A made-up face may strike visitors, but will certainly disgust\ndomestic friends. And one obvious inference is drawn, truth is not\nexpected to govern the inhabitant of so artificial a form. The false\nlife with which rouge animates the eyes, is not of the most delicate\nkind; nor does a woman\u2019s dressing herself in a way to attract\nlanguishing glances, give us the most advantageous opinion of the purity\nof her mind.\n\nI forgot to mention powder among the deceptions. It is a pity that it\nshould be so generally worn. The most beautiful ornament of the features\nis disguised, and the shade it would give to the countenance entirely\nlost. The color of every person\u2019s hair generally suits the complexion,\nand is calculated to set it off. What absurdity then do they run into,\nwho use red, blue, and yellow powder!\u2014And what a false taste does it\nexhibit!\n\nThe quantity of pomatum is often disgusting. We laugh at the Hottentots,\nand in some things adopt their customs.\n\nSimplicity of Dress, and unaffected manners, should go together. They\ndemand respect, and will be admired by people of taste, even when love\nis out of the question.\n\n\n\n\n                             THE FINE ARTS.\n\n\nMusic and painting, and many other ingenious arts, are now brought to\ngreat perfection, and afford the most rational and delicate pleasure.\n\nIt is easy to find out if a young person has a taste for them. If they\nhave, do not suffer it to lie dormant. Heaven kindly bestowed it, and a\ngreat blessing it is; but, like all other blessings, may be perverted:\nyet the intrinsic value is not lessened by the perversion. Should nature\nhave been a niggard to them in this respect, persuade them to be silent,\nand not feign raptures they do not feel; for nothing can be more\nridiculous.\n\nIn music I prefer expression to execution. The simple melody of some\nartless airs has often soothed my mind, when it has been harrassed by\ncare; and I have been raised from the very depths of sorrow, by the\nsublime harmony of some of Handel\u2019s compositions. I have been lifted\nabove this little scene of grief and care, and mused on Him, from whom\nall bounty flows.\n\nA person must have sense, taste, and sensibility, to render their music\ninteresting. The nimble dance of the fingers may raise wonder, but not\ndelight.\n\nAs to drawing, those cannot be really charmed by it, who do not observe\nthe beauties of nature, and even admire them.\n\nIf a person is fond of tracing the effects of the passions, and marking\nthe appearances they give to the countenance, they will be glad to see\ncharacters displayed on canvass, and enter into the spirit of them; but\nif by them the book of nature has not been read, their admiration is\nchildish.\n\nWorks of fancy are very amusing, if a girl has a lively fancy; but if\nshe makes others do the greatest part of them, and only wishes for the\ncredit of doing them, do not encourage her.\n\nWriting may be termed a fine art; and, I am sure, it is a very useful\none. The style in particular deserves attention. Young people are very\napt to substitute words for sentiments, and clothe mean thoughts in\npompous diction. Industry and time are necessary to cure this, and will\noften do it. Children should be led into correspondences, and methods\nadopted to make them write down their sentiments, and they should be\nprevailed on to relate the stories they have read in their own words.\nWriting well is of great consequence in life as to our temporal\ninterest, and of still more to the mind; as it teaches a person to\narrange their thoughts, and digest them. Besides, it forms the only true\nbasis of rational and elegant conversation.\n\nReading, and such arts as have been already mentioned, would fill up the\ntime, and prevent a young person\u2019s being lost in dissipation, which\nenervates the mind, and often leads to improper connections. When habits\nare fixed, and a character in some measure formed, the entering into the\nbusy world, so far from being dangerous, is useful. Knowledge will\nimperceptibly be acquired, and the taste improved, if admiration is not\nmore sought for than improvement. For those seldom make observation who\nare full of themselves.\n\n\n\n\n                                READING.\n\n\nIt is an old, but a very true observation, that the human mind must ever\nbe employed. A relish for reading, or any of the fine arts, should be\ncultivated very early in life; and those who reflect can tell, of what\nimportance it is for the mind to have some resource in itself, and not\nto be entirely dependant on the senses for employment and amusement. If\nit unfortunately is so, it must submit to meanness, and often to vice,\nin order to gratify them. The wisest and best are too much under their\ninfluence; and the endeavouring to conquer them, when reason and virtue\nwill not give their sanction, constitutes great part of the warfare of\nlife. What support, then, have they who are all senses, and who are full\nof schemes, which terminate in temporal objects?\n\nReading is the most rational employment, if people seek food for the\nunderstanding, and do not read merely to remember words; or with a view\nto quote celebrated authors, and retail sentiments they do not\nunderstand or feel. Judicious books enlarge the mind and improve the\nheart, though some, by them, \u201care made coxcombs whom nature meant for\nfools.\u201d\n\nThose productions which give a wrong account of the human passions, and\nthe various accidents of life, ought not to be read before the judgment\nis formed, or at least exercised. Such accounts are one great cause of\nthe affectation of young women. Sensibility is described and praised,\nand the effects of it represented in a way so different from nature,\nthat those who imitate it must make themselves very ridiculous. A false\ntaste is acquired, and sensible books appear dull and insipid after\nthose superficial performances, which obtain their full end if they can\nkeep the mind in a continual ferment. Gallantry is made the only\ninteresting subject with the novelist; reading, therefore, will often\nco-operate to make his fair admirers insignificant.\n\nI do not mean to recommend books of an abstracted or grave cast. There\nare in our language many, in which instruction and amusement are\nblended; the Adventurer is of this kind. I mention this book on account\nof its beautiful allegories and affecting tales, and similar ones may\neasily be selected. Reason strikes most forcibly when illustrated by the\nbrilliancy of fancy. The sentiments which are scattered may be observed,\nand when they are relished, and the mind set to work, it may be allowed\nto chuse books for itself, for every thing will then instruct.\n\nI would have every one try to form an opinion of an author themselves,\nthough modesty may restrain them from mentioning it. Many are so anxious\nto have the reputation of taste, that they only praise the authors whose\nmerit is indisputable. I am sick of hearing of the sublimity of Milton,\nthe elegance and harmony of Pope, and the original, untaught genius of\nShakespear. These cursory remarks are made by some who know nothing of\nnature, and could not enter into the spirit of those authors, or\nunderstand them.\n\nA florid style mostly passes with the ignorant for fine writing; many\nsentences are admired that have no meaning in them, though they contain\n\u201cwords of thundering sound,\u201d and others that have nothing to recommend\nthem but sweet and musical terminations.\n\nBooks of theology are not calculated for young persons; religion is best\ntaught by example. The Bible should be read with particular respect, and\nthey should not be taught reading by so sacred a book; lest they might\nconsider that as a task, which ought to be a source of the most exalted\nsatisfaction.\n\nIt may be observed, that I recommend the mind\u2019s being put into a proper\ntrain, and then left to itself. Fixed rules cannot be given, it must\ndepend on the nature and strength of the understanding; and those who\nobserve it can best tell what kind of cultivation will improve it. The\nmind is not, cannot be created by the teacher, though it may be\ncultivated, and its real powers found out.\n\nThe active spirits of youth may make time glide away without\nintellectual enjoyments; but when the novelty of the scene is worn off,\nthe want of them will be felt, and nothing else can fill up the void.\nThe mind is confined to the body, and must sink into sensuality; for it\nhas nothing to do but to provide for it, \u201chow it shall eat and drink,\nand wherewithal it shall be clothed.\u201d\n\nAll kinds of refinement have been found fault with for increasing our\ncares and sorrows; yet surely the contrary effect also arises from them.\nTaste and thought open many sources of pleasure, which do not depend on\nfortune.\n\nNo employment of the mind is a sufficient excuse for neglecting domestic\nduties, and I cannot conceive that they are incompatible. A woman may\nfit herself to be the companion and friend of a man of sense, and yet\nknow how to take care of his family.\n\n\n\n\n                           BOARDING-SCHOOLS.\n\n\nIf a mother has leisure and good sense, and more than one daughter, I\nthink she could best educate them herself; but as many family reasons\nrender it necessary sometimes to send them from home, boarding-schools\nare fixed on. I must own it is my opinion, that the manners are too much\nattended to in all schools; and in the nature of things it cannot be\notherwise, as the reputation of the house depends upon it, and most\npeople can judge of them. The temper is neglected, the same lessons are\ntaught to all, and some get a smattering of things they have not\ncapacity ever to understand; few things are learnt thoroughly, but many\nfollies contracted, and an immoderate fondness for dress among the rest.\n\nTo prepare a woman to fulfil the important duties of a wife and mother,\nare certainly the objects that should be in view during the early period\nof life; yet accomplishments are most thought of, and they, and\nall-powerful beauty, generally gain the heart; and as the keeping of it\nis not considered of until it is lost, they are deemed of the most\nconsequence. A sensible governess cannot attend to the minds of the\nnumber she is obliged to have. She may have been many years struggling\nto get established, and when fortune smiles, does not chuse to lose the\nopportunity of providing for old age; therefore continues to enlarge her\nschool, with a view to accumulate a competency for that purpose.\nDomestic concerns cannot possibly be made a part of their employment, or\nproper conversations often entered on. Improper books will by stealth be\nintroduced, and the bad example of one or two vicious children, in the\nplay-hours, infect a number. Their gratitude and tenderness are not\ncalled forth in the way they might be by maternal affection. Many\nmiseries does a girl of a mild disposition suffer, which a tender parent\ncould guard her from. I shall not contest about the graces, but the\nvirtues are best learnt at home, if a mother will give up her time and\nthoughts to the task; but if she cannot, they should be sent to school;\nfor people who do not manage their children well, and have not large\nfortunes, must leave them often with servants, where they are in danger\nof still greater corruptions.\n\n\n\n\n                              THE TEMPER.\n\n\nThe forming of the temper ought to be the continual thought, and the\nfirst task of a parent or teacher. For to speak moderately, half the\nmiseries of life arise from peevishness, or a tyrannical domineering\ntemper. The tender, who are so by nature, or those whom religion has\nmoulded with so heavenly a disposition, give way for the sake of\npeace\u2014yet still this giving way undermines their domestic comfort, and\nstops the current of affection; they labor for patience, and labor is\never painful.\n\nThe governing of our temper is truly the business of our whole lives;\nbut surely it would very much assist us if we were early put into the\nright road. As it is, when reason gains some strength, she has mountains\nof rubbish to remove, or perhaps exerts all her powers to justify the\nerrors of folly and passion, rather than root them out.\n\nA constant attention to the management of the temper produces gentleness\nand humility, and is practised on all occasions, as it is not done \u201cto\nbe seen of men.\u201d This meek spirit arises from good sense and resolution,\nand should not be confounded with indolence and timidity; weaknesses of\nmind, which often pass for good nature. She who submits, without\nconviction, to a parent or husband, will as unreasonably tyrannise over\nher servants; for slavish fear and tyranny go together. Resentment,\nindeed, may and will be felt occasionally by the best of human beings;\nyet humility will soon conquer it, and convert scorn and contempt into\npity, and drive out that hasty pride which is always guarding Self from\ninsult; which takes fire on the most trivial occasions, and which will\nnot admit of a superior, or even an equal. With such a temper is often\njoined that bashful aukwardness which arises from ignorance, and is\nfrequently termed diffidence; but which does not, in my opinion, deserve\nsuch a distinction. True humility is not innate, but like every other\ngood quality must be cultivated. Reflections on miscarriages of conduct,\nand mistakes in opinion, sink it deep into the mind; especially if those\nmiscarriages and mistakes have been a cause of pain\u2014when we smart for\nour folly we remember it.\n\nFew people look into their own hearts, or think of their tempers, though\nthey severely censure others, on whose side they say the fault always\nlies. Now I am apt to believe, that there is not a temper in the world\nwhich does not need correction, and of course attention. Those who are\ntermed good-humored, are frequently giddy, indolent, and insensible; yet\nbecause the society they mix with appear seldom displeased with a person\nwho does not contest, and will laugh off an affront, they imagine\nthemselves pleasing, when they are only not disagreeable. Warm tempers\nare too easily irritated. The one requires a spur, the other a rein.\nHealth of mind, as well as body, must in general be obtained by patient\nsubmission to self-denial, and disagreeable operations.\n\nIf the presence of the Deity be inculcated and dwelt on till an habitual\nreverence is established in the mind, it will check the sallies of anger\nand sneers of peevishness, which corrode our peace, and render us\nwretched, without any claim to pity.\n\nThe wisdom of the Almighty has so ordered things, that one cause\nproduces many effects. While we are looking into another\u2019s mind, and\nforming their temper, we are insensibly correcting our own; and every\nact of benevolence which we exert to our fellow-creatures, does\nourselves the most essential services. Active virtue fits us for the\nsociety of more exalted beings. Our philanthrophy is a proof, we are\ntold, that we are capable of loving our Creator. Indeed this divine\nlove, or charity, appears to me the principal trait that remains of the\nillustrious image of the Deity, which was originally stampt on the soul,\nand which is to be renewed. Exalted views will raise the mind above\ntrifling cares, and the many little weaknesses, which make us a torment\nto ourselves and others. Our temper will gradually improve, and vanity,\nwhich \u201cthe creature is made subject to,\u201d has not an entire dominion.\n\nBut I have digressed. A judicious parent can only manage a child in this\nimportant article; and example will best enforce precept.\n\nBe careful, however, not to make hypocrites; smothered flames will blaze\nout with more violence for having been kept down. Expect not to do all\nyourself; experience must enable the child to assist you; you can only\nlay the foundation, or prevent bad propensities from settling into\nhabits.\n\n\n\n\nUNFORTUNATE SITUATION OF FEMALES, FASHIONABLY EDUCATED, AND LEFT WITHOUT\n                               A FORTUNE.\n\n\nI have hitherto only spoken of those females, who will have a provision\nmade for them by their parents. But many who have been well, or at least\nfashionably educated, are left without a fortune, and if they are not\nentirely devoid of delicacy, they must frequently remain single.\n\nFew are the modes of earning a subsistence, and those very humiliating.\nPerhaps to be an humble companion to some rich old cousin, or what is\nstill worse, to live with strangers, who are so intolerably tyrannical,\nthat none of their own relations can bear to live with them, though they\nshould even expect a fortune in reversion. It is impossible to enumerate\nthe many hours of anguish such a person must spend. Above the servants,\nyet considered by them as a spy, and ever reminded of her inferiority\nwhen in conversation with the superiors. If she cannot condescend to\nmean flattery, she has not a chance of being a favorite; and should any\nof the visitors take notice of her, and she for a moment forget her\nsubordinate state, she is sure to be reminded of it.\n\nPainfully sensible of unkindness, she is alive to every thing, and many\nsarcasms reach her, which were perhaps directed another way. She is\nalone, shut out from equality and confidence, and the concealed anxiety\nimpairs her constitution; for she must wear a cheerful face, or be\ndismissed. The being dependant on the caprice of a fellow-creature,\nthough certainly very necessary in this state of discipline, is yet a\nvery bitter corrective, which we would fain shrink from.\n\nA teacher at a school is only a kind of upper servant, who has more work\nthan the menial ones.\n\nA governess to young ladies is equally disagreeable. It is ten to one if\nthey meet with a reasonable mother; and if she is not so, she will be\ncontinually finding fault to prove she is not ignorant, and be\ndispleased if her pupils do not improve, but angry if the proper methods\nare taken to make them do so. The children treat them with disrespect,\nand often with insolence. In the mean time life glides away, and the\nspirits with it; \u201cand when youth and genial years are flown,\u201d they have\nnothing to subsist on; or, perhaps, on some extraordinary occasion, some\nsmall allowance may be made for them, which is thought a great charity.\n\nThe few trades which are left, are now gradually falling into the hands\nof the men, and certainly they are not very respectable.\n\nIt is hard for a person who has a relish for polished society, to herd\nwith the vulgar, or to condescend to mix with her former equals when she\nis considered in a different light. What unwelcome heart-breaking\nknowledge is then poured in on her! I mean a view of the selfishness and\ndepravity of the world; for every other acquirement is a source of\npleasure, though they may occasion temporary inconveniences. How cutting\nis the contempt she meets with!\u2014A young mind looks round for love and\nfriendship; but love and friendship fly from poverty: expect them not if\nyou are poor! The mind must then sink into meanness, and accommodate\nitself to its new state, or dare to be unhappy. Yet I think no\nreflecting person would give up the experience and improvement they have\ngained, to have avoided the misfortunes; on the contrary, they are\nthankfully ranked amongst the choicest blessings of life, when we are\nnot under their immediate pressure.\n\nHow earnestly does a mind full of sensibility look for disinterested\nfriendship, and long to meet with good unalloyed. When fortune smiles\nthey hug the dear delusion; but dream not that it is one. The painted\ncloud disappears suddenly, the scene is changed, and what an aching void\nis left in the heart! a void which only religion can fill up\u2014and how few\nseek this internal comfort!\n\nA woman, who has beauty without sentiment, is in great danger of being\nseduced; and if she has any, cannot guard herself from painful\nmortifications. It is very disagreeable to keep up a continual reserve\nwith men she has been formerly familiar with; yet if she places\nconfidence, it is ten to one but she is deceived. Few men seriously\nthink of marrying an inferior; and if they have honor enough not to take\nadvantage of the artless tenderness of a woman who loves, and thinks not\nof the difference of rank, they do not undeceive her until she has\nanticipated happiness, which, contrasted with her dependant situation,\nappears delightful. The disappointment is severe; and the heart receives\na wound which does not easily admit of a compleat cure, as the good that\nis missed is not valued according to its real worth: for fancy drew the\npicture, and grief delights to create food to feed on.\n\nIf what I have written should be read by parents, who are now going on\nin thoughtless extravagance, and anxious only that their daughters may\nbe _genteelly educated_, let them consider to what sorrows they expose\nthem; for I have not over-coloured the picture.\n\nThough I warn parents to guard against leaving their daughters to\nencounter so much misery; yet if a young woman falls into it, she ought\nnot to be discontented. Good must ultimately arise from every thing, to\nthose who look beyond this infancy of their being; and here the comfort\nof a good conscience is our only stable support. The main business of\nour lives is to learn to be virtuous; and He who is training us up for\nimmortal bliss, knows best what trials will contribute to make us so;\nand our resignation and improvement will render us respectable to\nourselves, and to that Being, whose approbation is of more value than\nlife itself. It is true, tribulation produces anguish, and we would fain\navoid the bitter cup, though convinced its effects would be the most\nsalutary. The Almighty is then the kind parent, who chastens and\neducates, and indulges us not when it would tend to our hurt. He is\ncompassion itself, and never wounds but to heal, when the ends of\ncorrection are answered.\n\n\n\n\n                                 LOVE.\n\n\nI think there is not a subject that admits so little of reasoning on as\nlove; nor can rules be laid down that will not appear to lean too much\none way or the other. Circumstances must, in a great measure, govern the\nconduct in this particular; yet who can be a judge in their own case?\nPerhaps, before they begin to consider the matter, they see through the\nmedium of passion, and its suggestions are often mistaken for those of\nreason. We can no other way account for the absurd matches we every day\nhave an opportunity of observing; for in this respect, even the most\nsensible men and women err. A variety of causes will occasion an\nattachment; an endeavour to supplant another, or being by some accident\nconfined to the society of one person. Many have found themselves\nentangled in an affair of honor, who only meant to fill up the heavy\nhours in an amusing way, or raise jealousy in some other bosom.\n\nIt is a difficult task to write on a subject when our own passions are\nlikely to blind us. Hurried away by our feelings, we are apt to set\nthose things down as general maxims, which only our partial experience\ngives rise to. Though it is not easy to say how a person should act\nunder the immediate influence of passion, yet they certainly have no\nexcuse who are actuated only by vanity, and deceive by an equivocal\nbehaviour in order to gratify it. There are quite as many male coquets\nas female, and they are far more pernicious pests to society, as their\nsphere of action is larger, and they are less exposed to the censure of\nthe world. A smothered sigh, downcast look, and the many other little\narts which are played off, may give extreme pain to a sincere, artless\nwoman, though she cannot resent, or complain of, the injury. This kind\nof trifling, I think, much more inexcusable than inconstancy; and why it\nis so, appears so obvious, I need not point it out.\n\nPeople of sense and reflection are most apt to have violent and constant\npassions, and to be preyed on by them. Neither can they, for the sake of\npresent pleasure, bear to act in such a manner, as that the retrospect\nshould fill them with confusion and regret. Perhaps a delicate mind is\nnot susceptible of a greater degree of misery, putting guilt out of the\nquestion, than what must arise from the consciousness of loving a person\nwhom their reason does not approve. This, I am persuaded, has often been\nthe case; and the passion must either be rooted out, or the continual\nallowances and excuses that are made will hurt the mind, and lessen the\nrespect for virtue. Love, unsupported by esteem, must soon expire, or\nlead to depravity; as, on the contrary, when a worthy person is the\nobject, it is the greatest incentive to improvement, and has the best\neffect on the manners and temper. We should always try to fix in our\nminds the rational grounds we have for loving a person, that we may be\nable to recollect them when we feel disgust or resentment; we should\nthen habitually practise forbearance, and the many petty disputes which\ninterrupt domestic peace would be avoided. A woman cannot reasonably be\nunhappy, if she is attached to a man of sense and goodness, though he\nmay not be all she could wish.\n\nI am very far from thinking love irresistible, and not to be conquered.\n\u201cIf weak women go astray,\u201d it is they, and not the stars, that are to be\nblamed. A resolute endeavour will almost always overcome difficulties. I\nknew a woman very early in life warmly attached to an agreeable man, yet\nshe saw his faults; his principles were unfixed, and his prodigal turn\nwould have obliged her to have restrained every benevolent emotion of\nher heart. She exerted her influence to improve him, but in vain did she\nfor years try to do it. Convinced of the impossibility, she determined\nnot to marry him, though she was forced to encounter poverty and its\nattendants.\n\nIt is too universal a maxim with novelists, that love is felt but once;\nthough it appears to me, that the heart which is capable of receiving an\nimpression at all, and can distinguish, will turn to a new object when\nthe first is found unworthy. I am convinced it is practicable, when a\nrespect for goodness has the first place in the mind, and notions of\nperfection are not affixed to constancy. Many ladies are delicately\nmiserable, and imagine that they are lamenting the loss of a lover, when\nthey are full of self-applause, and reflections on their own superior\nrefinement. Painful feelings are prolonged beyond their natural course,\nto gratify our desire of appearing heroines, and we deceive ourselves as\nwell as others. When any sudden stroke of fate deprives us of those we\nlove, we may not readily get the better of the blow; but when we find we\nhave been led astray by our passions, and that it was our own\nimaginations which gave the high colouring to the picture, we may be\ncertain time will drive it out of our minds. For we cannot often think\nof our folly without being displeased with ourselves, and such\nreflections are quickly banished. Habit and duty will co-operate, and\nreligion may overcome what reason has in vain combated with; but\nrefinement and romance are often confounded, and sensibility, which\noccasions this kind of inconstancy, is supposed to have the contrary\neffect.\n\nNothing can more tend to destroy peace of mind, than platonic\nattachments. They are begun in false refinement, and frequently end in\nsorrow, if not in guilt. The two extremes often meet, and virtue carried\nto excess will sometimes lead to the opposite vice. Not that I mean to\ninsinuate that there is no such thing as friendship between persons of\ndifferent sexes; I am convinced of the contrary, I only mean to observe,\nthat if a woman\u2019s heart is disengaged, she should not give way to a\npleasing delusion, and imagine she will be satisfied with the friendship\nof a man she admires, and prefers to the rest of the world. The heart is\nvery treacherous, and if we do not guard its first emotions, we shall\nnot afterwards be able to prevent its sighing for impossibilities. If\nthere are any insuperable bars to an union in the common way, try to\ndismiss the dangerous tenderness, or it will undermine your comfort, and\nbetray you into many errors. To attempt to raise ourselves above human\nbeings is ridiculous; we cannot extirpate our passions, nor is it\nnecessary that we should, though it may be wise sometimes not to stray\ntoo near a precipice, lest we fall over before we are aware. We cannot\navoid much vexation and sorrow, if we are ever so prudent; it is then\nthe part of wisdom to enjoy those gleams of sunshine which do not\nendanger our innocence, or lead to repentance. Love gilds all the\nprospects of life, and though it cannot always exclude apathy, it makes\nmany cares appear trifling. Dean Swift hated the world, and only loved\nparticular persons; yet pride rivalled them. A foolish wish of rising\nsuperior to the common wants and desires of the human species made him\nsingular, but not respectable. He sacrificed an amiable woman to his\ncaprice, and made those shun his company who would have been entertained\nand improved by his conversation, had he loved any one as well as\nhimself. Universal benevolence is the first duty, and we should be\ncareful not to let any passion so engross our thoughts, as to prevent\nour practising it. After all the dreams of rapture, earthly pleasures\nwill not fill the mind, or support it when they have not the sanction of\nreason, or are too much depended on. The tumult of passion will subside,\nand even the pangs of disappointment cease to be felt. But for the\nwicked there is a worm that never dies\u2014a guilty conscience. While that\ncalm satisfaction which resignation produces, which cannot be described,\nbut may be attained, in some degree, by those who try to keep in the\nstrait, though thorny path which leads to bliss, shall sanctify the\nsorrows, and dignify the character of virtue.\n\n\n\n\n                               MATRIMONY.\n\n\nEarly marriages are, in my opinion, a stop to improvement. If we were\nborn only \u201cto draw nutrition, propagate and rot,\u201d the sooner the end of\ncreation was answered the better: but as women are here allowed to have\nsouls, the soul ought to be attended to. In youth a woman endeavours to\nplease the other sex, in order, generally speaking, to get married, and\nthis endeavour calls forth all her powers. If she has had a tolerable\neducation, the foundation only is laid, for the mind does not soon\narrive at maturity, and should not be engrossed by domestic cares before\nany habits are fixed. The passions also have too much influence over the\njudgment to suffer it to direct her in this most important affair; and\nmany women, I am persuaded, marry a man before they are twenty, whom\nthey would have rejected some years after. Very frequently, when the\neducation has been neglected, the mind improves itself, if it has\nleisure for reflection, and experience to reflect on; but how can this\nhappen when they are forced to act before they have had time to think,\nor find that they are unhappily married? Nay, should they be so\nfortunate as to get a good husband, they will not set a proper value on\nhim; he will be found much inferior to the lovers described in novels,\nand their want of knowledge makes them frequently disgusted with the\nman, when the fault is in human nature.\n\nWhen a woman\u2019s mind has gained some strength, she will in all\nprobability pay more attention to her actions than a girl can be\nexpected to do; and if she thinks seriously, she will chuse for a\ncompanion a man of principle; and this perhaps young people do not\nsufficiently attend to, or see the necessity of doing. A woman of\nfeeling must be very much hurt if she is obliged to keep her children\nout of their father\u2019s company, that their morals may not be injured by\nhis conversation; and besides, the whole arduous task of education\ndevolves on her, and in such a case it is not very practicable.\nAttention to the education of children must be irksome, when life\nappears to have so many charms, and its pleasures are not found\nfallacious. Many are but just returned from a boarding-school, when they\nare placed at the head of a family, and how fit they are to manage it, I\nleave the judicious to judge. Can they improve a child\u2019s understanding,\nwhen they are scarcely out of the state of childhood themselves?\n\nDignity of manners, too, and proper reserve are often wanting. The\nconstant attendant on too much familiarity is contempt. Women are often\nbefore marriage prudish, and afterwards they think they may innocently\ngive way to fondness, and overwhelm the poor man with it. They think\nthey have a legal right to his affections, and grow remiss in their\nendeavours to please. There are a thousand nameless decencies which good\nsense gives rise to, and artless proofs of regard which flow from the\nheart, and will reach it, if it is not depraved. It has ever occurred to\nme, that it was sufficient for a woman to receive caresses, and not\nbestow them. She ought to distinguish between fondness and tenderness.\nThe latter is the sweetest cordial of life; but, like all other\ncordials, should be reserved for particular occasions; to exhilarate the\nspirits, when depressed by sickness, or lost in sorrow. Sensibility will\nbest instruct. Some delicacies can never be pointed out or described,\nthough they sink deep into the heart, and render the hours of distress\nsupportable.\n\nA woman should have so proper a pride, as not easily to forget a\ndeliberate affront; though she must not too hastily resent any little\ncoolness. We cannot always feel alike, and all are subject to changes of\ntemper without an adequate cause.\n\nReason must often be called in to fill up the vacuums of life; but too\nmany of our sex suffer theirs to lie dormant. A little ridicule and\nsmart turn of expression, often confutes without convincing; and tricks\nare played off to raise tenderness, even while they are forfeiting\nesteem.\n\nWomen are said to be the weaker vessel, and many are the miseries which\nthis weakness brings on them. Men have in some respects very much the\nadvantage. If they have a tolerable understanding, it has a chance to be\ncultivated. They are forced to see human nature as it is, and are not\nleft to dwell on the pictures of their own imaginations. Nothing, I am\nsure, calls forth the faculties so much as the being obliged to struggle\nwith the world; and this is not a woman\u2019s province in a married state.\nHer sphere of action is not large, and if she is not taught to look into\nher own heart, how trivial are her occupations and pursuits! What little\narts engross and narrow her mind! \u201cCunning fills up the mighty void of\nsense,\u201d and cares, which do not improve the heart or understanding, take\nup her attention. Of course, she falls a prey to childish anger, and\nsilly capricious humors, which render her rather insignificant than\nvicious.\n\nIn a comfortable situation, a cultivated mind is necessary to render a\nwoman contented; and in a miserable one, it is her only consolation. A\nsensible, delicate woman, who by some strange accident, or mistake, is\njoined to a fool or a brute, must be wretched beyond all names of\nwretchedness, if her views are confined to the present scene. Of what\nimportance, then, is intellectual improvement, when our comfort here,\nand happiness hereafter, depends upon it.\n\nPrinciples of religion should be fixed, and the mind not left to\nfluctuate in the time of distress, when it can receive succour from no\nother quarter. The conviction that every thing is working for our good\nwill scarcely produce resignation, when we are deprived of our dearest\nhopes. How they can be satisfied, who have not this conviction, I cannot\nconceive; I rather think they will turn to some worldly support, and\nfall into folly, if not vice. For a little refinement only leads a woman\ninto the wilds of romance, if she is not religious; nay, more, there is\nno true sentiment without it, nor perhaps any other effectual check to\nthe passions.\n\n\n\n\n                          DESULTORY THOUGHTS.\n\n\nAs every kind of domestic concern and family business is properly a\nwoman\u2019s province, to enable her to discharge her duty she should study\nthe different branches of it. Nothing is more useful in a family than a\nlittle knowledge of physic, sufficient to make the mistress of it a\njudicious nurse. Many a person, who has had a sensible physician to\nattend them, have been lost for want of the other; for tenderness,\nwithout judgment, sometimes does more harm than good.\n\nThe ignorant imagine there is something very mysterious in the practice\nof physic. They expect a medicine to work like a charm, and know nothing\nof the progress and crisis of disorders. The keeping of the patient low\nappears cruel, all kind of regimen is disregarded, and though the fever\nrages, they cannot be persuaded not to give them inflammatory food. \u201cHow\n(say they) can a person get well without nourishment?\u201d\n\nThe mind, too, should be soothed at the same time; and indeed, whenever\nit sinks, soothing is, at first, better than reasoning. The slackened\nnerves are not to be braced by words. When a mind is worried by care, or\noppressed by sorrow, it cannot in a moment grow tranquil, and attend to\nthe voice of reason.\n\nSt. Paul says, \u201cNo chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous; but\ngrievous: nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of\nrighteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.\u201d It is plain, from\nthese words of the Apostle, and from many other parts of Scripture, that\nafflictions are necessary to teach us true wisdom, and that in spite of\nthis conviction, men would fain avoid the bitter draught, though certain\nthat the drinking of it would be conducive to the purifying of their\nhearts. He who made us must know what will tend to our ultimate good;\nyet still all this is grievous, and the heart will throb with anguish\nwhen deprived of what it loves, and the tongue can scarcely faulter out\nan acquiescence to the Divine Will, when it is so contrary to our own.\nDue allowance ought then to be made for human infirmities, and the\nunhappy should be considered as objects of compassion, rather than\nblame. But in a very different stile does consolatory advice generally\nrun; for instead of pouring oil or wine into the wound, it tends to\nconvince the unfortunate persons that they are weak as well as unhappy.\nI am apt to imagine, that sorrow and resignation are not incompatible;\nand that though religion cannot make some disappointments pleasant, it\nprevents our repining, even while we smart under them. Did our feelings\nand reason always coincide, our passage through this world could not\njustly be termed a warfare, and faith would no longer be a virtue. It is\nour preferring the things that are not seen, to those which are, that\nproves us to be the heirs of promise.\n\nOn the sacred word of the Most High, we rely with firm assurance, that\nthe sufferings of the present life will work out a far more exceeding\nand eternal weight of glory; yet still they are allowed to be\nafflictions, which, though temporary, must still be grievous.\n\nThe difference between those who sorrow without hope, and those who look\nup to Heaven, is not that the one feel more than the other, for they may\nbe both equally depressed; but the latter think of the peaceable fruits\nwhich are to result from the discipline, and therefore patiently submit.\n\nI have almost run into a sermon,\u2014and I shall not make an apology for it.\n\nWhatever contributes to make us compassionate and resolute, is of the\nutmost consequence; both these qualities are necessary, if we are\nconfined to a sick chamber. Various are the misfortunes of life, and it\nmay be the lot of most of us to see death in all its terrors, when it\nattacks a friend; yet even then we must exert our friendship, and try to\nchear the departing spirit.\n\n\n\n\n             THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.\n\n\nMost women, and men too, have no character at all. Just opinions and\nvirtuous passions appear by starts, and while we are giving way to the\nlove and admiration which those qualities raise, they are quite\ndifferent creatures. It is reflection which forms habits, and fixes\nprinciples indelibly on the heart; without it, the mind is like a wreck\ndrifted about by every squall. The passion that we think most of will\nsoon rival all the rest; it is then in our power, this way, to\nstrengthen our good dispositions, and in some measure to establish a\ncharacter, which will not depend on every accidental impulse. To be\nconvinced of truths, and yet not to feel or act up to them, is a common\nthing. Present pleasure drives all before it, and adversity is\nmercifully sent to force us to think.\n\nIn the school of adversity we learn knowledge as well as virtue; yet we\nlament our hard fate, dwell on our disappointments, and never consider\nthat our own wayward minds, and inconsistent hearts, require these\nneedful correctives. Medicines are not sent to persons in health.\n\nIt is a well-known remark, that our very wishes give us not our wish. I\nhave often thought it might be set down as a maxim, that the greatest\ndisappointment we can meet with is the gratification of our fondest\nwishes. But truth is sometimes not pleasant; we turn from it, and doat\non an illusion; and if we were not in a probationary state, we should do\nwell to thicken the cloud, rather than dispel it.\n\nThere are some who delight in observing moral beauty, and their souls\nsicken when forced to view crimes and follies which could never hurt\nthem. How numerous are the sorrows which reach such bosoms! They may\ntruly be called _human creatures_; on every side they touch their\nfellow-mortals, and vibrate to the touch. Common humanity points out the\nimportant duties of our station; but sensibility (a kind of instinct,\nstrengthened by reflection) can only teach the numberless minute things\nwhich give pain or pleasure.\n\nA benevolent mind often suffers more than the object it commiserates,\nand will bear an inconvenience itself to shelter another from it. It\nmakes allowance for failings though it longs to meet perfection, which\nit seems formed to adore. The Author of all good continually calls\nhimself, a God long-suffering; and those most resemble him who practice\nforbearance. Love and compassion are the most delightful feelings of the\nsoul, and to exert them to all that breathe is the wish of the\nbenevolent heart. To struggle with ingratitude and selfishness is\ngrating beyond expression: and the sense we have of our weakness, though\nuseful, is not pleasant. Thus it is with us, when we look for happiness,\nwe meet with vexations: and if, now and then, we give way to tenderness,\nor any of the amiable passions, and taste pleasure, the mind, strained\nbeyond its usual tone, falls into apathy. And yet we were made to be\nhappy! But our passions will not contribute much to our bliss, till they\nare under the dominion of reason, and till that reason is enlightened\nand improved. Then sighing will cease, and all tears will be wiped away\nby that Being, in whose presence there is fulness of joy.\n\nA person of tenderness must ever have particular attachments, and ever\nbe disappointed; yet still they must be attached, in spite of human\nfrailty; for if the mind is not kept in motion by either hope or fear,\nit sinks into the dreadful state before-mentioned.\n\nI have very often heard it made a subject of ridicule, that when a\nperson is disappointed in this world, they turn to the next. Nothing can\nbe more natural than the transition; and it seems to me the scheme of\nProvidence, that our finding things unsatisfactory here, should force us\nto think of the better country to which we are going.\n\n\n\n\n                     ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS.\n\n\nThe management of servants is a great part of the employment of a\nwoman\u2019s life; and her own temper depends very much on her behaviour to\nthem.\n\nServants are, in general, ignorant and cunning; we must consider their\ncharacters, if we would treat them properly, and continually practise\nforbearance. The same methods we use with children may be adopted with\nregard to them. Act uniformly, and never find fault without a just\ncause; and when there is, be positive, but not angry. A mind that is not\ntoo much engrossed by trifles, will not be discomposed by every little\ndomestic disaster; and a thinking person can very readily make allowance\nfor those faults which arise from want of reflection and education. I\nhave seen the peace of a whole family disturbed by some trivial, cross\naccident, and hours spent in useless upbraidings about some mistake\nwhich would never have been thought of, but for the consequences that\narose from it. An error in judgment or an accident should not be\nseverely reprehended. It is a proof of wisdom to profit by experience,\nand not lament irremediable evils.\n\nA benevolent person must ever wish to see those around them comfortable,\nand try to be the cause of that comfort. The wide difference which\neducation makes, I should suppose, would prevent familiarity in the way\nof equality; yet kindness must be shewn, if we are desirous that our\ndomestics should be attached to our interest and persons. How pleasing\nit is to be attended with a smile of willingness, to be consulted when\nthey are at a loss, and looked up to as a friend and benefactor when\nthey are in distress. It is true we may often meet with ingratitude, but\nit ought not to discourage us; the refreshing showers of heaven\nfertilize the fields of the unworthy, as well as the just. We should\nnurse them in illness, and our superior judgment in those matters would\noften alleviate their pains.\n\nAbove all, we owe them a good example. The ceremonials of religion, on\ntheir account, should be attended to; as they always reverence them to a\nsuperstitious degree, or else neglect them. We should not shock the\nfaith of the meanest fellow-creature; nay more, we should comply with\ntheir prejudices; for their religious notions are so over-run with them,\nthat they are not easily separated; and by trying to pluck up the tares,\nwe may root up the wheat with them.\n\nThe woman who gives way to caprice and ill-humour in the kitchen, cannot\neasily smooth her brow when her husband returns to his fire-side; nay,\nhe may not only see the wrinkles of anger, but hear the disputes at\nsecond-hand. I heard a Gentleman say, it would break any man\u2019s heart to\nhear his wife argue such a case. Men who are employed about things of\nconsequence, think these affairs more insignificant than they really\nare; for the warmth with which we engage in any business increases its\nimportance, and our not entering into them has the contrary effect.\n\nThe behaviour of girls to servants is generally in extremes; too\nfamiliar or haughty. Indeed the one often produces the other, as a\ncheck, when the freedoms are troublesome.\n\nWe cannot make our servants wise or good, but we may teach them to be\ndecent and orderly; and order leads to some degree of morality.\n\n\n\n\n                       THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY.\n\n\nThe institution of keeping the seventh day holy was wisely ordered by\nProvidence for two purposes. To rest the body, and call off the mind\nfrom the too eager pursuit of the shadows of this life, which, I am\nafraid, often obscure the prospect of futurity, and fix our thoughts on\nearth. A respect for this ordinance is, I am persuaded, of the utmost\nconsequence to national religion. The vulgar have such a notion of it,\nthat with them, going to church, and being religious, are almost\nsynonymous terms. They are so lost in their senses, that if this day did\nnot continually remind them, they would soon forget that there was a God\nin the world. Some forms are necessary to support vital religion, and\nwithout them it would soon languish, and at last expire.\n\nIt is unfortunate, that this day is either kept with puritanical\nexactness, which renders it very irksome, or lost in dissipation and\nthoughtlessness. Either way is very prejudicial to the minds of children\nand servants, who ought not to be let run wild, not confined too\nstrictly; and, above all, should not see their parents or masters\nindulge themselves in things which are generally thought wrong. I am\nfully persuaded, that servants have such a notion of card-playing, that\nwhere-ever it is practised of a Sunday their minds are hurt; and the\nbarrier between good and evil in some measure broken down. Servants, who\nare accustomed to bodily labour, will fall into as laborious pleasures,\nif they are not gently restrained, and some substitute found out for\nthem.\n\nSuch a close attention to a family may appear to many very disagreeable;\nbut the path of duty will be found pleasant after some time; and the\npassions being employed this way, will, by degrees, come under the\nsubjection of reason. I mean not to be rigid, the obstructions which\narise in the way of our duty, do not strike a speculatist; I know, too,\nthat in the moment of action, even a well-disposed mind is often carried\naway by the present impulse, and that it requires some experience to be\nable to distinguish the dictates of reason from those of passion. The\ntruth is seldom found out until the tumult is over; we then wake as from\na dream, and when we survey what we have done, and feel the folly of it,\nwe might call on reason and say, why sleepest thou? Yet though people\nare led astray by their passions, and even relapse after the most bitter\nrepentance, they should not despair, but still try to regain the right\nroad, and cultivate such habits as may assist them.\n\nI never knew much social virtue to reside in a house where the sabbath\nwas grossly violated.\n\n\n\n\n              ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES.\n\n\nIf we look for any comfort in friendship or society, we must associate\nwith those who have fixed principles with respect to religion; for\nwithout them, repeated experience convinces me, the most shining\nqualities are unstable, and not to be depended on.\n\nIt has often been a matter of surprise to me, that so few people examine\nthe tenets of the religion they profess, or are christians through\nconviction. They have no anchor to rest on, nor any fixed chart to\ndirect them in the doubtful voyage of life; how then can they hope to\nfind the \u201chaven of rest?\u201d But they think not of it, and cannot be\nexpected to forego present advantages. Noble actions must arise from\nnoble thoughts and views; when they are confined to this world, they\nmust be groveling.\n\nFaith, with respect to the promise of eternal happiness, can only enable\nus to combat with our passions, with a chance of victory. There are many\nwho pay no attention to revelation, and more, perhaps, who have not any\nfixed belief in it. The sure word of comfort is neglected; and how\npeople can live without it, I can scarcely conceive. For as the sun\nrenews the face of nature, and chases away darkness from the world, so\ndoes this, still greater blessing, have the same effect on the mind, and\nenlightens and cheers it when every thing else fails.\n\nA true sense of our infirmities is the way to make us christians in the\nmost extensive sense of the word. A mind depressed with a weight of\nweaknesses can only find comfort in the promises of the Gospel. The\nassistance there offered must raise the humble soul; and the account of\nthe atonement that has been made, gives a rational ground for resting in\nhope until the toil of virtue is over, and faith has nothing to be\nexercised on.\n\nIt is the fashion now for young men to be deists. And many a one has\nimproper books sent adrift in a sea of doubts\u2014of which there is no end.\nThis is not a land of certainty; there is no confining the wandering\nreason, and but one clue to prevent its being lost in endless\nresearches. Reason is indeed the heaven-lighted lamp in man, and may\nsafely be trusted when not entirely depended on; but when it pretends to\ndiscover what is beyond its ken, it certainly stretches the line too\nfar, and runs into absurdity. Some speculations are idle and others\nhurtful, as they raise pride, and turn the thoughts to subjects that\nought to be left unexplored. With love and awe we should think of the\nHigh and Lofty One, that inhabiteth eternity! and not presume to say how\nHe must exist who created us. How unfortunate it is, that man must sink\ninto a brute, and not employ his mind, or else, by thinking, grow so\nproud, as often to imagine himself a superior being! It is not the\ndoubts of profound thinkers that I here allude to, but the crude notions\nwhich young men sport away when together, and sometimes in the company\nof young women, to make them wonder at their superior wisdom! There\ncannot be any thing more dangerous to a mind, not accustomed to think,\nthan doubts delivered in a ridiculing way. They never go deep enough to\nsolve them, of course they stick by them; and though they might not\ninfluence their conduct, if a fear of the world prevents their being\nguilty of vices, yet their thoughts are not restrained, and they should\nbe observed diligently, \u201cFor out of them are the issues of life.\u201d A nice\nsense of right and wrong ought to be acquired, and then not only great\nvices will be avoided, but every little meanness; truth will reign in\nthe inward parts, and mercy will attend her.\n\nI have indeed so much compassion for those young females who are\nentering into the world without fixed principles, that I would fain\npersuade them to examine a little into the matter. For though in the\nseason of gaiety they may not feel the want of them, in that of distress\nwhere will they fly for succour? Even with this support, life is a labor\nof patience\u2014a conflict; and the utmost we can gain is a small portion of\npeace, a kind of watchful tranquillity, that is liable to continual\ninterruptions.\n\n            \u201cThen keep each passion down, however dear;\n            \u201cTrust me, the tender are the most severe.\n            \u201cGuard, while \u2019tis thine, thy philosophic ease,\n            \u201cAnd ask no joy but that of virtuous peace;\n            \u201cThat bids defiance to the storms of fate:\n            \u201cHigh bliss is only for a higher state.\u201d\n                                              THOMSON.\n\n\n\n\n                              BENEVOLENCE.\n\n\nThis first, and most amiable virtue, is often found in young persons\nthat afterwards grow selfish; a knowledge of the arts of others, is an\nexcuse to them for practicing the same; and because they have been\ndeceived once, or have found objects unworthy of their charity\u2014if any\none appeals to their feelings, the formidable word Imposture instantly\nbanishes the compassionate emotions, and silences conscience. I do not\nmean to confine the exercise of benevolence to alms-giving, though it is\na very material part of it. Faith, hope, and charity ought to attend us\nin our passage through this world; but the two first leave us when we\ndie, while the other is to be the constant inmate of our breast through\nall eternity. We ought not to suffer the heavenly spark to be quenched\nby selfishness; if we do, how can we expect it to revive, when the soul\nis disentangled from the body, and should be prepared for the realms of\nlove? Forbearance and liberality of sentiment are the virtues of\nmaturity. Children should be taught every thing in a positive way; and\ntheir own experience can only teach them afterwards to make distinctions\nand allowances. It is then the inferior part of benevolence that comes\nwithin their sphere of action, and it should not be suffered to sleep.\nSome part of the money that is allowed them for pocket-money, they\nshould be encouraged to lay out this way, and the short-lived emotions\nof pity continually retraced \u2019till they grow into habits.\n\nI knew a child that would, when very young, sit down and cry if it met a\npoor person, after it had laid out its money in cakes; this occurred\nonce or twice, and the tears were shed with additional distress every\ntime; till at last it resisted the temptation, and saved the money.\n\nI think it a very good method for girls to have a certain allowance for\ncloaths. A mother can easily, without seeming to do it, observe how they\nspend it, and direct them accordingly. By these means they would learn\nthe value of money, and be obliged to contrive. This would be a\npractical lesson of \u0153conomy superior to all the theories that could be\nthought of. The having a fixed stipend, too, would enable them to be\ncharitable, in the true sense of the word, as they would then give their\nown; and by denying themselves little ornaments, and doing their own\nwork, they might increase the sum appropriated to charitable purposes.\n\nA lively principle of this kind would also overcome indolence; for I\nhave known people wasteful and penurious at the same time; but the\nwastefulness was to spare themselves trouble, and others only felt the\neffects of their penury, to make the balance even.\n\nWomen too often confine their love and charity to their own families.\nThey fix not in their minds the precedency of moral obligations, or make\ntheir feelings give way to duty. Goodwill to all the human race should\ndwell in our bosoms, nor should love to individuals induce us to violate\nthis first of duties, or make us sacrifice the interest of any\nfellow-creature, to promote that of another, whom we happen to be more\npartial to. A parent, under distressed circumstances, should be\nsupported, even though it should prevent our saving a fortune for a\nchild; nay more, should they be both in distress at the same time, the\nprior obligation should be first discharged.\n\nUnder this head may be included the treatment of animals. Over them many\nchildren tyrannize with impunity; and find amusement in tormenting, or\nwantonly killing, any insect that comes in their way, though it does\nthem no injury. I am persuaded, if they were told stories of them, and\nled to take an interest in their welfare and occupations, they would be\ntender to them; as it is, they think man the only thing of consequence\nin the creation. I once prevented a girl\u2019s killing ants, for sport, by\nadapting Mr. Addison\u2019s account of them to her understanding. Ever after\nshe was careful not to tread on them, lest she should distress the whole\ncommunity.\n\nStories of insects and animals are the first that should rouse the\nchildish passions, and exercise humanity; and then they will rise to\nman, and from him to his Maker.\n\n\n\n\n                             CARD-PLAYING.\n\n\nCard-playing is now the constant amusement, I may say employment, of\nyoung and old, in genteel life. After all the fatigue of the toilet,\nblooming girls are set down to card-tables, and the most unpleasing\npassions called forth. Avarice does not wait for grey hairs and\nwrinkles, but marks a countenance where the loves and graces ought to\nrevel. The hours that should be spent in improving the mind, or in\ninnocent mirth, are thus thrown away; and if the stake is not\nconsiderable enough to rouse the passions, lost in insipidity, and a\nhabit acquired which may lead to serious mischief. Not to talk of\ngaming, many people play for more than they can well afford to lose, and\nthis sours their temper. Cards are the universal refuge to which the\nidle and the ignorant resort, to pass life away, and to keep their\ninactive souls awake, by the tumult of hope and fear.\n\n          \u201cUnknown to them, when sensual pleasures cloy,\n          \u201cTo fill the languid pause with finer joy;\n          \u201cUnknown those powers that raise the soul to flame,\n          \u201cCatch every nerve, and vibrate through the frame.\u201d\n\nAnd, of course, this is their favourite amusement. Silent, stupid\nattention appears necessary; and too frequently little arts are\npractised which debase the character, and at best give it a trifling\nturn. Certainly nothing can be more absurd than permitting girls to\nacquire a fondness for cards. In youth the imagination is lively, and\nnovelty gives charms to every scene; pleasure almost obtrudes itself,\nand the pliable mind and warm affections are easily wrought on. They\nwant not those resources, which even respectable and sensible persons\nsometimes find necessary, when they see life, as it is unsatisfactory,\nand cannot anticipate pleasures, which they know will fade when nearly\nviewed. Youth is the season of activity, and should not be lost in\nlistlessness. Knowledge ought to be acquired, a laudable ambition\nencouraged; and even the errors of passion may produce useful\nexperience, expand the faculties, and teach them to know their own\nhearts. The most shining abilities, and the most amiable dispositions of\nthe mind, require culture, and a proper situation, not only to ripen and\nimprove them, but to guard them against the perversions of vice, and the\ncontagious influence of bad examples.\n\n\n\n\n                              THE THEATRE.\n\n\nThe amusements which this place afford are generally supposed the most\nrational, and are really so to a cultivated mind; yet one that is not\nquite formed may learn affectation at the theatre. Many of our admired\ntragedies are too full of declamation, and a false display of the\npassions. A heroine is often made to grieve ten or twenty years, and yet\nthe unabated sorrow has not given her cheeks a pallid hue; she still\ninspires the most violent passion in every beholder, and her own yields\nnot to time. The prominent features of a passion are easily copied,\nwhile the more delicate touches are overlooked. That start of\nCordelia\u2019s, when her father says, \u201cI think that Lady is my daughter,\u201d\nhas affected me beyond measure, when I could unmoved hear Calista\ndescribe the cave in which she would live \u201cUntil her tears had washed\nher guilt away.\u201d\n\nThe principal characters are too frequently made to rise above human\nnature, or sink below it; and this occasions many false conclusions. The\nchief use of dramatic performances should be to teach us to discriminate\ncharacters; but if we rest in separating the good from the bad, we are\nvery superficial observers. May I venture a conjecture?\u2014I cannot help\nthinking, that every human creature has some spark of goodness, which\ntheir long-suffering and benevolent Father gives them an opportunity of\nimproving, though they may perversely smother it before they cease to\nbreathe.\n\nDeath is treated in too slight a manner; and sought, when\ndisappointments occur, with a degree of impatience, which proves that\nthe main end of life has not been considered. That fearful punishment of\nsin, and convulsion of nature, is too often exposed to public view.\nUntil very lately I never had the courage even to look at a person dying\non the stage. The hour of death is not the time for the display of\npassions; nor do I think it natural it should: the mind is then\ndreadfully disturbed, and the trifling sorrows of this world not thought\nof. The deaths on the stage, in spite of the boasted sensibility of the\nage, seem to have much the same effect on a polite audience, as the\nexecution of malefactors has on the mob that follow them to Tyburn.\n\nThe worst species of immorality is inculcated, and life (which is to\ndetermine the fate of eternity) thrown away when a kingdom or mistress\nis lost. Patience and submission to the will of Heaven, and those\nvirtues which render us useful to society, are not brought forward to\nview; nor can they occasion those surprising turns of fortune which most\ndelight vulgar minds. The almost imperceptible progress of the passions,\nwhich Shakespeare has so finely delineated, are not sufficiently\nobserved, though the start of the actor is applauded. Few tragedies, I\nthink, will please a person of discernment, and their sensibility is\nsure to be hurt.\n\nYoung persons, who are happily situated, do well to enter into\nfictitious distress; and if they have any judicious person to direct\ntheir judgment, it may be improved while their hearts are melted. Yet I\nwould not have them confine their compassion to the distresses\noccasioned by love; and perhaps their feelings might more profitably be\nroused, if they were to see sometimes the complicated, misery of\nsickness and poverty, and weep for the beggar instead of the king.\n\nComedy is not now so censurable as it was some years ago; and a chaste\near is not often shocked with indecencies. When follies are pointed out,\nand vanity ridiculed, it may be very improving; and perhaps the stage is\nthe only place where ridicule is useful.\n\nWhat I have said is certainly only applicable to those who go to see the\nplay, and not to shew themselves and waste time. The most insignificant\namusement will afford instruction to thinking minds, and the most\nrational will be lost on a vacant one.\n\nRemarks on the actors are frequently very tiresome. It is a fashionable\ntopic, and a thread-bare one; it requires great abilities, and a\nknowledge of nature, to be a competent judge; and those who do not enter\ninto the spirit of the author, are not qualified to converse with\nconfidence on the subject.\n\n\n\n\n                             PUBLIC PLACES.\n\n\nUnder this head I rank all those places, which are open to an\nindiscriminate resort of company. There seems at present such a rage for\npleasure, that when adversity does not call home the thoughts, the whole\nday is mostly spent in preparations and plans, or in actual dissipation.\nSolitude appears insupportable, and domestic comfort stupid. And though\nthe amusements may not always be relished, the mind is so enervated it\ncannot exert itself to find out any other substitute. An immoderate\nfondness for dress is acquired, and many fashionable females spend half\nthe night in going from one place to another to display their finery,\nrepeat commonplace compliments, and raise envy in their acquaintance\nwhom they endeavour to outshine. Women, who are engaged in those scenes,\nmust spend more time in dress than they ought to do, and it will occupy\ntheir thoughts when they should be better employed.\n\nIn the fine Lady how few traits do we observe of those affections which\ndignify human nature! If she has any maternal tenderness, it is of a\nchildish kind. We cannot be too careful not to verge on this character;\nthough she lives many years she is still a child in understanding, and\nof so little use to society, that her death would scarcely be observed.\n\nDissipation leads to poverty, which cannot be patiently borne by those\nwho have lived on the vain applause of others, on account of outward\nadvantages; these were the things they imagined of most consequence, and\nof course they are tormented with false shame, when by a reverse of\nfortune they are deprived of them.\n\nA young innocent girl, when she first enters into gay scenes, finds her\nspirits so raised by them, that she would often be lost in delight, if\nshe was not checked by observing the behaviour of a class of females who\nattend those places. What a painful train of reflections do then arise\nin the mind, and convictions of the vice and folly of the world are\nprematurely forced on it. It is no longer a paradise, for innocence is\nnot there; the taint of vice poisons every enjoyment, and affectation,\nthough despised, is very contagious. If these reflections do not occur,\nlanguor follows the extraordinary exertions, and weak minds fall a prey\nto imaginary distress, to banish which they are obliged to take as a\nremedy what produced the disease.\n\nWe talk of amusements unbending the mind; so they ought; yet even in the\nhours of relaxation we are acquiring habits. A mind accustomed to\nobserve can never be quite idle, and will catch improvement on all\noccasions. Our pursuits and pleasures should have the same tendency, and\nevery thing concur to prepare us for a state of purity and happiness.\nThere vice and folly will not poison our pleasures; our faculties will\nexpand; and not mistake their objects; and we shall no longer \u201csee as\nthrough a glass darkly, but know, even as we are known.\u201d\n\n\n                                 FINIS.\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n                          TRANSCRIBER\u2019S NOTES\n\n\n 1. P. 97, changed \u201cis was sufficient\u201d to \u201cit was sufficient\u201d.\n 2. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in\n      spelling.\n 3. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.\n 4. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.\n 5. Denoted superscripts by a caret before a single superscript\n      character or a series of superscripted characters enclosed in\n      curly braces, e.g. M^r. or M^{ister}.","title":"Thoughts on the Education of Daughters: With Reflections on Female Conduct, in the More Important Duties of Life","tradition":"philosophy-ethics","translated_text":null,"word_count":15676}