{"collection":"folklore-oral-tradition","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_68352/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_68352","id":"gutenberg_68352","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68352","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Children & Young Adult Reading","Category: Novels","Category: Science-Fiction & Fantasy","Children's stories","Fairy tales"],"text":"THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH\n\n                          BY T. L. SAPPINGTON\n\n                    Author of \"The Grateful Fairy\"\n\n                               NEW YORK\n                            BARSE & HOPKINS\n                              PUBLISHERS\n\n                           Copyright, 1923,\n                          By Barse & Hopkins\n\n                        PRINTED IN THE U. S. A.\n\n\n               [Illustration: Getting ready for autumn.]\n\n\n\n\n                               CONTENTS\n\n                        THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH\n\n                        THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES\n\n                        OBSTINATE TOWN\n\n                        TOOBAD THE TAILOR\n\n                        THE SNOOPING-BUG\n\n                        THE WRONG JACK\n\n                        THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS\n\n                        THE IMAGINARY ISLAND\n\n                        THE DANCING PEARL\n\n                        THE INHERITED PRINCESS\n\n\n\n\n                             ILLUSTRATIONS\n\n\n                Getting ready for Autumn\n\n                So Junior held his nose tight\n\n                It was raining cats and dogs\n\n                The Poppykok pasted a magic postage stamp on his cheek\n\n                He began tearing at his clothes with all his might\n\n                The jar broke into a thousand pieces\n\n                Out of the hole came a giant\n\n                He turned and whipped the fan open\n\n                Upon his vision burst a band of coal-black savages\n\n                Floo the Wizard at work\n\n                He watched her whirl about\n\n                The minute the parade was over, he started off\n\n                Underneath the window sat the twenty-headed Gallopus\n\n\n\n\n                        THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH\n\n\nOf all the witches that may be found in all the fairy tales ever told\nthere is none more delightfully sociable than the Sand Witch. This\nWitch, who lives underneath the heaps of sand at the ocean's edge,\nwhere, in the summertime, you dig with your shovel, is not at all like\nother witches. She never rides on a broomstick, and she never goes down\nchimneys. In the first place there are no broomsticks or chimneys on\nthe beach at the sea-shore, and in the second place she would not know\nhow to ride on a broomstick or climb down a chimney, if there were. All\nthe Sand Witch knows how to do is to sink into the sand when anything\nscares her, and to come up through the sand when she sees a chance to\nget acquainted with a person she never was acquainted with before. So\nnow you know what a Sand Witch is. And if Junior Jenks, seven years\nold, and dreadfully sunburnt, had known what you know, he would have\nbeen much better prepared to face the one that came up right under his\nnose all of a sudden one hot July morning.\n\nJunior was supposed to be in bathing. His mother, and his father, and\nhis sister were in among the breakers having a fine time, but Junior,\nalthough he was wearing a bathing suit just like they were, preferred\nthe good old sandy, sunny beach where foam-crested waves could not\ntumble you over and over, and fill your mouth with salt water when\nyou yelled. He had tried bathing once, and no amount of coaxing could\ninduce him to try it again, so his folks left him to play by himself\nwhile they took their dip.\n\nThe first Junior knew about the Sand Witch was when the tip end of a\nsteeple hat began to come up through the sand in front of him. Up, up\nit came until the whole hat was showing; then followed a long nose, two\nbig, black eyes, a big mouth, and a sharp pointed chin; after that the\nrest of the Sand Witch followed very quickly, until at last she stood\nbefore him as cool as a cucumber.\n\n\"Well,\" she said, not paying the slightest attention to the way\nJunior's hair was standing up, \"here I am. I've heard you digging for\nsome days. I suppose you thought you'd never find me.\"\n\n\"Find you?\" said Junior, staring with all his might. \"I wasn't trying\nto find you. I never knew there was such a person. I wasn't trying to\nfind anything.\"\n\n\"You weren't?\" said the Sand Witch. \"Then what in the name of peace\nwere you digging for?\"\n\n\"Why,\" said Junior, \"I--I--I was just digging for fun.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the Witch, \"did you find any fun?\"\n\n\"Find any fun? Of course not! You don't find fun, you--you just have\nit.\"\n\nThe Sand Witch pushed her hat on one side and scratched her head in\nperplexity. \"I don't think I understand. You said you were digging for\nfun, didn't you? And when I asked if you found any fun you say you\ndon't find fun, you just have it. Well, if you have it, what do you\ndig for? Tell me that?\"\n\nBut though she waited very politely for Junior to tell her, he made no\nanswer. He just looked at her with his mouth open, and wiggled his bare\ntoes deeper into the sand.\n\n\"My goodness,\" said the Witch, at last, \"are you deaf? I asked you a\nquestion.\"\n\n\"I--I know,\" said the boy, \"but--but I can't tell you. I--I don't know\nhow.\"\n\n\"Suffering sea serpents!\" exclaimed the newcomer. \"You certainly are\nthe queerest _I_ ever met!\"\n\n\"No queerer than you are,\" responded Junior, indignantly. \"You're the\nqueerest person _I_ ever met! Coming up through the sand in such a way!\"\n\n\"Humph!\" retorted the Witch. \"How else _could_ I come up? There's\nnothing else here but sand to _come_ up through. You can't blame that\non me.\"\n\n\"Oh, I'm not blaming you,\" said Junior. \"I'm only telling you. I don't\nsuppose it is your fault that all this sand is here. It only seemed so\nstrange for a person to be underneath it. You don't live there, do you?\"\n\n\"I certainly do!\" replied the other; \"and all my family, too.\"\n\n\"Underneath the sand? Why, I never heard of such a thing! I--I can't\nbelieve it!\"\n\n\"Now look here,\" said the Sand Witch. \"I won't let anybody talk _that_\nway to me. If you don't believe I live underneath the sand come on down\nand see for yourself. Just hold your nose tight with the fingers of\nyour _right_ hand, put your _left_ hand above your head, draw _in_ a\ndeep breath; and down you go, like this.\"\n\nThrusting a hand above her head, and grasping her nose, she took a deep\nbreath, and zip--she sank through the sand like a flash, just the way\nJunior's father always sank into the ocean when he was bathing. Then\nbing--the next moment she popped up again, smiling cheerfully. \"See how\neasy it is? Come on, now you try it!\"\n\n\"No, thank you,\" said Junior. \"I'd rather stay on _top_ of the sand.\"\n\n\"Oh, pshaw!\" exclaimed the Sand Witch, \"I never saw such a 'fraid cat!\nYou're not only afraid to take a sea bath, but you don't even dare to\ntake a sand bath. I'd be ashamed!\"\n\n\"Well, be ashamed, if you want!\" said Junior, hotly. \"I don't care! I\ndon't like baths of any kind; in the ocean, or in the sand; or even in\nthe bathtub. What's the use of them, anyway?\"\n\nAnd with that he started digging again. And then it was that the Sand\nWitch showed what a thoroughly sociable nature she had, for although\nthe boy had turned his back to her and was paying no attention, she\nwasn't in the least discouraged. \"Did you ever see a crab wait on the\ntable?\" she asked.\n\n\"Why, no,\" said Junior, whirling about and looking very much\ninterested. \"I thought all a crab could do was to pinch you.\"\n\n\"Not at all! They wait on the table fine if you let 'em. And I've\ngot a shooting starfish, too, that can't be beat. You come on down\nunderneath the sand, and I'll show you. Oh, I've got dozens of\ndelightful things down there. Why, the sand pies I make are the most\ndelicious things you ever tasted. And I know you'll laugh when you see\nthe clams skip rope.\"\n\nWell, you may be sure all this sounded very, _very_ good to Junior. He\nhad often heard of starfish, but never of shooting starfish. A crab\nwaiting on the table was bound to be interesting; and a clam skipping\nrope, even more so. As for sand pies, he had often made them himself,\nbut never so they could be eaten. If there was a way to do the trick,\nhe'd like to know it. In fact, it was like being promised a free ticket\nto the circus. So throwing his bucket and shovel aside he got to his\nfeet without further parley.\n\n\"Very well,\" he said, \"I'll go with you. But I've got to be back in\na half hour. My father is going to take me sailing as soon as he is\nthrough with his bath.\"\n\n\"That's all right,\" said the Sand Witch. \"When you're ready to go\nback, you just go back. And now do just as I do.\"\n\nSo Junior held his nose tight, put his other hand above his head, took\na deep breath, and then bing--he and the Sand Witch sank through the\nsand in a jiffy, and the next moment came out underneath it.\n\n[Illustration: So Junior held his nose tight]\n\n\"Oh!\" cried the boy.\n\nAll about was a beautiful, white, glistening, sandy city; houses,\nfences, streets, all of sand. The place where they were standing seemed\nto be a sort of park with cute, little, carved, sandy benches amid the\nsand grass, and several tall fountains spouting sand in a fine spray.\n\n\"Well, how do you like it?\" asked the Witch.\n\n\"Fine!\" said Junior; \"but where are the clams and the--\"\n\n\"My goodness,\" said the Witch, \"but you _are_ in a hurry. I've got to\nfind my children, first. You don't expect me to neglect my children\nthat way, do you?\"\n\n\"Oh, no,\" replied the boy, \"of course not. But--but I didn't come\nhere to see your children, you know. I can see children anywhere.\"\n\n\"Not children like mine,\" said the Sand Witch, proudly. \"If there is a\nmore beautiful child than little Lettuce Sand Witch I'd like to see it.\nAnd as for dear little Ham Sand Witch, he is the _cutest_ thing.\"\n\n\"Ham Sand Witch! Lettuce Sand Witch!\" exclaimed Junior. \"Are those the\nnames of your children? Why--why, it sounds like things to eat!\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Mrs. Sand Witch, \"why not? Both of them are certainly\nsweet enough to eat.\"\n\nWith that she opened her mouth and gave a piercing yell. \"Children!\"\nshe shrieked. \"Come to mother, quick! I've got a little boy for you to\nplay with!\"\n\nAnd presently, racing across the park toward them came the two little\nSand Witches, one a girl and the other a boy. But though their mother\nthought them sweet enough to eat, Junior did not. Both had long,\npointed noses and chins; big, black eyes and dreadfully wide mouths,\njust like Mrs. Sand Witch. When they saw Junior they just stood and\nstared, and gnashed their teeth.\n\n\"Hello!\" said Ham Sand Witch, after a moment. \"Who are you?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said his sister, Lettuce Sand Witch, walking about and examining\nJunior from all sides, \"who are you, and where did you come from?\"\n\n\"I'm Junior Jenks,\" replied Junior, \"and I came from the beach up above\nto see the clams skip rope.\"\n\n\"Pooh!\" said Ham Sand Witch. \"That's no fun! We're not going to play\nwith them any more. They want you to turn the rope all the time. If you\ndon't, they nip you.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Junior, \"if I can't see the clams skip rope, let me see\nthe starfish shoot.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said Lettuce Sand Witch, \"we don't mind. But you'll have\nto pay his fare if you want to see him shoot.\"\n\n\"Pay his fare?\" responded Junior. \"I don't know what you mean.\"\n\n\"Ahem!\" put in Mrs. Sand Witch. \"Perhaps you thought he shot with a\ngun. Well, he doesn't. He chutes with a chute! And you know as well as\nI do, you've got to pay your fare when you chute with a chute.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" cried Junior, in dismay, \"I see. But--but I haven't any money.\"\n\n\"Then,\" said Mrs. Sand Witch, \"if you want to see him chute, we'll have\nto charge it to your father. How about it?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the boy, \"I guess he won't mind, as long as I never saw a\nfish chute before.\"\n\nSo Mrs. Sand Witch took the children to the chute the chutes on the\nother side of the park, and told the proprietor, a very shaky old\njellyfish, that Junior would pay the starfish's fare, and to kindly\ncoax him out of the ocean to take a ride.\n\nSo the jellyfish went to the ocean, which was just back of the chute\nthe chutes, and yelled for the starfish to hurry up if he wanted a free\nride. And the starfish, highly flattered at the invitation, lost no\ntime in making his appearance.\n\n\"I'm awfully obliged to you,\" he said to Junior, as he whirled about in\nthe sand to dry himself. \"And to show I am I'll let you sit with me.\"\n\nSo Junior and the starfish, and Ham Sand Witch, and Lettuce Sand Witch,\nclimbed into the car and went shooting around the chute the chutes.\n\n\"Isn't it great?\" shrieked the starfish, as they scooted down the\ninclines. \"It makes your insides turn somersaults! It beats swimming\nall hollow, _I_ think. If ever I get rich I'm going to build one of\nthese things in the ocean.\"\n\nAnd when at last the ride came to an end he insisted on Junior shaking\nhands with every one of his five points. \"Any time you fall overboard\nwhen you're out sailing,\" he said, \"stop in and see me. My place is the\nthird clump of coral just beyond the bathing grounds. Good-by!\"\n\n\"Now,\" said Mrs. Sand Witch, who had waited while the children and the\nstarfish took their ride, \"I've got to go home and get dinner. You\nchildren amuse yourselves, and after dinner maybe I'll take you to see\nthe mermaids.\"\n\nSo Junior, and Ham Sand Witch, and Lettuce Sand Witch, wandered about\nthe park hand in hand. Although the little Sand Witches were so ugly,\nJunior was beginning to like them right well, now that he was getting\nused to them; and they seemed to like him, too.\n\n\"Why don't you stay all summer?\" said Ham Sand Witch. \"We could have\nlots of fun.\"\n\n\"I'd like to,\" said Junior, \"if my father and mother and sister were\nhere.\"\n\n\"Well, why not ask 'em to come down?\" suggested Lettuce Sand Witch.\n\n\"Oh, they wouldn't do it,\" said the boy. \"I know they wouldn't. They\nlike it better on the boardwalk and at the hotel. And now let's see if\nwe can't find those clams that skip rope.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said Ham Sand Witch, \"but if we do, they'll make you turn\nfor 'em _just so_. They're awfully snappish.\"\n\nAnd sure enough when presently they came upon the clams sitting on a\nbench near one of the fountains, and Junior asked if they would skip\nrope for him, they said they would if he turned for them _just so_.\n\n\"I don't know what you mean by 'just so,'\" said Junior, \"but I'll do my\nbest.\"\n\nAnd he certainly did do the best he could. While Ham Sand Witch held\none end of the rope he turned it very, _very_ carefully as the two big,\nwhite clams solemnly skipped. They were slow enough until they got\nwarmed up.\n\n\"Now give us butter and eggs,\" said one of the clams, suddenly.\n\n\"Butter and eggs?\" said Junior. \"You mean pepper and salt, don't you?\"\n\n\"I certainly do _not_,\" said the clam who had spoken. \"I mean\nbutter and eggs. Pepper and salt is _fast_, but butter and eggs is\n_lightning_; and see that you do it right.\"\n\nBut though Junior turned the rope with all his might and main he simply\ncould not turn it fast enough to suit the clams. And presently with a\nscream of rage they rushed at him snapping their shells angrily.\n\n\"Run! Run!\" shrieked Lettuce Sand Witch, \"or they'll nip you!\"\n\n\"Run! Run!\" yelled Ham Sand Witch. \"They pinch awful.\"\n\nAnd maybe Junior did not run. And maybe the clams did not run after\nhim. But luckily, just as they were about to grab him, one of them\ntripped and fell and cracked its shell, and wept so when it did, that\nthe other clam stopped to help it. So Junior, and Ham Sand Witch, and\nLettuce Sand Witch finally reached Mrs. Sand Witch's house and were\nsoon safe indoors.\n\n\"Sakes alive!\" exclaimed Mrs. Sand Witch, as the children stood before\nher, panting. \"What has happened?\"\n\nAnd after they had told her she said they were never even to _speak_\nto those clams again. \"I never did care for clams, anyhow,\" she said.\n\"They're always disagreeing with people.\"\n\nThen she told them that dinner was almost ready and that she knew they\nwould enjoy it. \"We've got the most delicious sandpaper garnished with\nseaweed,\" she added; \"to say nothing of sand pies for dessert.\"\n\nAnd when she said that both the little Sand Witches jumped up and\ndown with glee, and cheered and cheered. \"Oh, goody!\" they cried. And\nJunior, being a very polite little boy, cheered also, although he felt\nquite sure that while he might like the sand pies, he never, _never_\nwould care for sandpaper garnished with seaweed.\n\nAnd then as he sat in the parlor waiting for dinner to be served, he\nheard a clatter of dishes in the next room, and peeping in, gave a gasp\nof astonishment, for there was a big, green-backed crab putting the\ndinner on the table, singing cheerfully to itself as it did so. And\nthis is what it sang:\n\n    'Twas a beautiful day at the bottom of the bay\n      In the mud where I always dwell,\n    But being a crab I longed to grab\n      At the bathers and make 'em yell.\n    So I took a swim to the water's rim\n      And looked about for a toe;\n    And then as I looked some fellow hooked\n      Me out of the water-o.\n    He hooked me into a great, big boat\n      With a piercing yell of joy,\n    And I do declare I'd still be there\n      Except for his little boy.\n    But that blessed lad unlike his dad,\n      With fright he simply roared--\n    He gave one squeal as I pinched his heel,\n      And kicked me overboard.\n    And now the aim of my humble life\n      Is to find that boy some way,\n    And to thank him quick for the kindly kick\n      That saved my life that day.\n\nAnd as the crab sang a funny feeling came over Junior. Only a week or\nso before _he_ had been out with his father in a boat, and _his_ father\nhad caught a crab on his fishing line, and pulled it into the boat. And\nJunior, being in his bare feet, had been awfully scared for fear the\ncrab would pinch him, and then, sure enough, before he could get his\nfeet up on the seat, it did, right on the heel; and in trying to kick\nit loose, he kicked it overboard. He wondered if this could possibly be\nthe same crab.\n\nSo when they all went in to dinner he looked at the crab carefully to\nsee if he could recognize it, but as one crab looks like another,\nhe couldn't be sure. But the minute the crab saw _him_, it was very\ndifferent.\n\n\"Oh!\" gasped the creature he had been observing, staggering backward\nand almost dropping the dish of sandpaper and seaweed it was carrying.\nThen, putting the dish carefully on the table, it bent over and looked\nJunior in the face.\n\n\"'Tis he!\" it shrieked, with a dramatic gesture. \"'Tis he! my rescuer!\"\nAnd if Junior had not leaped from his seat it would have thrown its\nclaws about his neck.\n\n\"'Tis he?\" exclaimed Mrs. Sand Witch, frowning at her amphibian\nservant. \"What do you mean by ''tis he'? What are you talking about?\nThis is a nice way to behave before company.\"\n\nBut after the creature had explained matters, Mrs. Sand Witch and the\nlittle Sand Witches were even more excited than the crab was.\n\n\"My, my, how romantic!\" said Mrs. Sand Witch; \"and how lucky it is,\nBertha, that you're a lady crab. _Now_ you can marry him!\"\n\n\"Oh!\" exclaimed Bertha, the crab, trembling violently. \"I never thought\nof that! I'd just love to, if only to show my gratitude. But--but maybe\nhe wouldn't care to marry me. Would you?\" she asked, turning to Junior,\nwho had once more resumed his seat.\n\n\"Marry you?\" said the boy, wishing he hadn't sat down again. \"Why--why,\nof course not. Why--why--I--I--why, I'm only a boy. I--I, my mother\nwouldn't let me get married. I know she wouldn't.\"\n\n\"Oh, bother your mother!\" retorted the crab, crossly. \"She'll never\nknow anything about it. We'll get married and settle down here, and\nshe'll never know where you are. And now, when shall it be?\"\n\n\"Never!\" shouted Junior, springing up once more. \"I'll never do it.\nBoys never marry crabs. Boys never marry anybody!\"\n\n\"Never marry anybody?\" put in Mrs. Sand Witch. \"Dear me, then how do\nthey ever get married?\"\n\n\"They don't _get_ married,\" said Junior. \"They--they just play.\"\n\n\"Well,\" responded the crab, \"you can play. I won't mind. You needn't\nstop playing just because you're married to me. No, sir-ee!\"\n\nBut Junior shook his head. \"I'm very sorry,\" he said, \"but I can't do\nit.\" And though the crab kept on coaxing and coaxing, he wouldn't give\nin.\n\n\"Now look here,\" said Mrs. Sand Witch, \"if we keep this up the dinner\nwill be cold. So run along, Bertha, and maybe after Junior has had a\ngood dinner he will change his mind.\"\n\n\"No, I won't,\" said Junior. \"And what is more I want to go back to the\nbeach right off. I told you I was going sailing with my father in a\nhalf hour.\"\n\n\"But,\" replied Mrs. Sand Witch, as she smacked her lips over the last\nof her sandpaper, \"that was before you were engaged to be married.\"\n\n\"I'm not engaged to be married,\" stormed the boy; \"and if I had known\nyou were this kind of a person I'd never have come down here.\"\n\n\"Now, now,\" said Mrs. Sand Witch, \"I'm every bit as old as your\nmother, and I know what is best for you. You wouldn't like me to spank\nyou, would you?\"\n\nAnd when she said that, Junior decided he might as well give himself up\nfor lost. Soon as a person began to say she knew what was best for you,\nyou might as well make up your mind, you are done for. \"Good gracious!\"\nhe said to himself, \"whatever shall I do?\"\n\nAnd when dinner was over, and he went into the park again with the\nlittle Sand Witches, he was so depressed he wouldn't play or do\nanything; and finally, Ham Sand Witch got tired trying to cheer him up\nand went off to play with some other sand witches, leaving Junior and\nLettuce Sand Witch sitting on a bench side by side.\n\nLettuce Sand Witch, swinging her legs violently, was looking at him.\nThen she slid along the bench and snuggled up close. \"I'm awfully\nsorry,\" she said. \"And I think it's dreadfully mean to make you marry\nBertha. She's not pretty like I am, is she? Wouldn't you rather marry\nme?\"\n\nAnd the minute she said that, Junior had a bright idea. He didn't\nwant to marry Lettuce Sand Witch any more than he wanted to marry the\ngrateful Bertha, one was as ugly as the other; but maybe if he let on\nhe wanted to, she might tell him how to get back to the beach. So he\nsnuggled up to her when she snuggled up to him.\n\n\"Maybe I would,\" he said, smiling at her. \"But I couldn't possibly do\nit until I asked my mother. You tell me how to get back to the beach,\nand if my mother says I can marry you, I'll come right back and do it.\"\n\n\"Oh, will you, really?\" cried Lettuce Sand Witch, springing to her feet\nand clapping her hands. \"Then I'll tell you how to get to the beach,\nor at least the way my mother gets there. She stands up straight like\nthis; holds her nose with her _left_ hand and puts her _right_ hand\nabove her head; then she blows _out_ her breath instead of drawing it\nin; and up she goes. And now, you won't forget to come back?\"\n\n\"No, indeed,\" said Junior, \"I'll do just as I promised. If my mother\ntells me to come back and marry you, I'll do it. And now, good-by, and\nthank you very, _very_ much.\"\n\nThe next instant he stood up as straight as he could, grasped his nose\nwith his left hand, put his right hand above his head, blew out his\nbreath, and bing--he shot up through the sand, and found himself right\nalongside of his bucket and shovel.\n\nHe looked about. Everything was just the same. The sun was shining,\npeople were still in bathing, but nowhere among them could he see his\nfather, or mother, or sister. And then, presently they came tearing\nover the sand toward him.\n\n\"You bad boy!\" scolded Mrs. Jenks. \"Where have you been? We've been\nterribly worried! How dare you go off by yourself? Where were you, I\nsay?\"\n\n\"Why--why--\" began Junior.\n\nThen he stopped. What was the use? He knew they wouldn't believe him.\nAnd if he asked his mother if he could go back and marry Lettuce Sand\nWitch as he promised he would ask her, she would say he was sick or\nsomething, and make him go to bed. So he just dug his toes into the\nsand and said nothing.\n\nAnd that is why poor little Lettuce Sand Witch is still waiting\nunderneath the sand for Junior Jenks to come marry her. And that is why\nJunior Jenks keeps looking about so queerly when he plays on the beach\nby himself. He is taking no chances of another sociable sand witch\npopping up in his neighborhood.\n\n\n\n\n                        THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES\n\n\nNo matter what other mistakes you may make in your lifetime, never make\nthe mistake of renting a cottage from an ogre. If you do, the chances\nare you will bitterly regret it, as did Hak, the aged woodcutter.\n\nHak, was an old, old man who lived in a forest with his little\ngrandson, Omo, whose father and mother were dead; and who earned his\nliving by cutting down trees and chopping them into firewood. The\ncottage that Hak and his grandson lived in belonged to an ogre, and the\nrent the old man paid for it was not very much; and as long as he kept\nhis health and strength, he got along very nicely. But one day, while\ncutting down a tree he tripped and fell, and before he could get out of\nthe way the falling tree struck him and broke his leg. And after Omo\nhad dragged him back into the cottage all he could do was to lie on\nhis bed and groan, and wait for the leg to get well.\n\n\"Goodness gracious!\" he said to the boy, \"What _shall_ we do? I won't\nbe able to work for days and days, and there will be the rent to pay,\nto say nothing of the doctor's bill.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Omo, \"the rent and the doctor's bill will have to wait. So\ndon't worry.\"\n\n\"I have to worry,\" replied the old man. \"The doctor may wait for _his_\nbill, but the person who owns this cottage will not wait for his rent;\nno sir-ee.\"\n\nThen he told Omo that the cottage belonged to an ogre. \"He let me have\nit very cheap, but only for a certain reason. What do you think that\nreason was?\"\n\n\"I don't know,\" replied Omo. \"What was it?\"\n\n\"That he should be allowed to make you into a dumpling for dessert if I\ndid not pay the rent every month without fail.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" said Omo, his eyes very big. \"I don't wonder you are worried.\nIt--it makes me feel worried, too! Why did you ever make such a\nbargain?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said his grandfather, groaning worse than ever, \"I never\nthought for a minute that I would ever have my leg broken, and I was so\nvery, _very_ poor I simply _had_ to have a cottage _cheap_. But now,\nI'll not only lose the cottage, but you also. I guess I might as well\ndie.\"\n\n\"Don't you do it!\" responded Omo. \"I haven't been made into a dumpling\n_yet_, and I'm not going to be, if I can help it. I'll go into the city\nand get the doctor, and while I'm there I'll try to earn enough money\nto pay the rent.\"\n\nBut Omo's grandfather only shook his head. \"You're a plucky boy, Omo,\"\nhe said, \"but you'll never be able to do it. How can a boy of seven\nearn anything?\"\n\n\"Well, I can try, can't I?\" said Omo. \"You can't do anything if you\ndon't try.\"\n\nSo pulling his cap down over his curls, and tucking some bread and\ncheese into his pocket, he set off for town. But when he arrived at\nthe doctor's office he found that the waiting room was crowded with\npeople, and that he would have to wait his turn.\n\n\"Oh, dear,\" he sighed, as he sat down next to a little old lady with a\nfrilled bonnet on her head, \"this is most unfortunate. My grandfather\nought to be attended to right away.\"\n\n\"Well, he won't get attended to right away,\" said the old lady, \"I can\ntell you that! This doctor charges by the length of time you wait in\nhis office, so he _never_ hurries. I've been here three months.\"\n\n\"Three months!\" cried the boy. \"Oh, I couldn't possibly wait three\nmonths, or even three days. I'm in a hurry! I've got to earn enough\nmoney to pay the rent of our cottage, or the ogre who owns it will turn\nme into a dumpling and eat me.\"\n\nAnd when he said that everybody in the waiting room twisted about and\nlooked at him. \"He seems to have a fever,\" they said.\n\n\"See here,\" said the old lady, \"are you sure you're not sick instead of\nyour grandfather?\"\n\n\"I'm _perfectly_ well!\" exclaimed Omo, indignantly.\n\n\"Then you must be joking,\" responded the other.\n\n\"No, I'm not,\" said Omo. \"I mean every word I said. I'm in great\ntrouble.\"\n\n\"H'm,\" said the old lady. She got to her feet. \"Come on, let's go\noutside! We'll save money by it anyway!\"\n\nThen as they walked along the street Omo told her all about his\ngrandfather's accident, and how important it was that the rent should\nbe paid.\n\n\"Ha!\" exclaimed the old lady. \"I know that ogre! His name is Gub and he\nlives on the hill on the other side of the city. I often used to help\npeople out of his clutches. I'm a retired fairy godmother--haven't been\nin business for years and years--but your story interests me. I've a\ngood mind to help you!\"\n\n\"Oh, if you only would!\" said Omo, \"I'd be awfully obliged. You\nsee, it's not very pleasant to be made into a dumpling, and have my\ngrandfather put out of his cottage when he has a broken leg. Please,\n_please_, help me!\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the old lady, as she led the way into a little house with\na peaked roof, \"I only help people who help themselves. Can you help\nyourself?\"\n\n\"Certainly!\" said Omo. \"Just offer me something and watch me help\nmyself.\"\n\n\"Very well then, I will,\" responded the fairy godmother. Going to a\ngolden desk in a corner she took from it a silver key. \"This is the key\nthat turns on the Fountain of Riches in the City of Ootch. All you have\nto do is to put the key in the keyhole at the base of the fountain,\ngive three turns to the right, three turns to the left, and _one_ turn\nin the middle, and instantly the fountain will commence to spout gold\npieces enough to bury you. But you must promise me this, be sure and\nturn the fountain off as soon as you get enough gold pieces to fill\nyour cap; and be sure and bring the key back to me, for I wouldn't want\nthat key to be left in Ootch, or that fountain to be left spouting,\nfor anything.\"\n\n\"Why not?\" asked Omo. \"What's the use of a fountain if it doesn't\nspout?\"\n\n\"Well, you see I presented that fountain to the city of Ootch because\nthey named the city after my great aunt's trained cockatoo, but after\nthe fountain started spouting gold pieces everybody had so much money\nthey all stopped working, and it almost ruined them. The butcher\nstopped selling meat, and the baker stopped baking bread, and the\ntailor stopped making clothes. Everybody stopped doing everything, and\npretty soon, although everybody had plenty of money, you couldn't buy\nanything because nobody would take the trouble to keep store when they\ncould get money from the fountain. So I locked the fountain up and took\nthe key with me. And after the people of Ootch had spent some of the\nmoney they had, and lost the rest, and could not get any more without\nworking for it, everything got all right again. And that's the reason\nI don't want the fountain to keep on spouting again, or want you to\nleave the key behind you.\"\n\n\"I should think not,\" said Omo. \"It seems as bad to be too rich as it\nis to be too poor. I'll be very careful about shutting the fountain\noff, and I won't forget to bring back the key. And now how do I get to\nthe city of Ootch?\"\n\n\"Just open my back door,\" said the fairy godmother, handing him the\nkey, \"step out on the step, and then step off. And I do hope you won't\nfind it raining, for when it rains in Ootch, it rains cats and dogs.\"\n\nSo Omo opened the fairy godmother's back door and stepped out on the\nstep, and as he stood there all he saw before him was a pretty little\ngarden. Then, he stepped off the step, and bing--he was in a queer\nlooking city, and the garden and the back step, and the cottage, and\nthe fairy godmother, had all disappeared. And in addition it _was_\nraining cats and dogs; regular, real cats and dogs.\n\n\"Ouch!\" cried Omo, as a fat maltese fell ker-plunk on his head, yowling\nlike anything. \"Whee!\" he yelled, as a fox terrier dropped with a\nthud on his shoulder and barked in his ear. And then, as black, white,\nbrown, yellow cats of every color, and dogs, big, little and medium,\nbegan pouring on him and around him, all howling, and barking, and\nspitting at the same time, he made a rush for a small building, open at\nthe sides but with a dome like roof of metal, where a man was standing.\n\n\"Quite a shower, isn't it?\" said the man, as Omo reached the shelter.\n\n\"A shower,\" gasped Omo, \"why--why, I think it's much more than a\nshower. And--and look what's coming down--cats and dogs!\"\n\n[Illustration: It was raining cats and dogs]\n\n\"Well,\" said the other, \"why not? That's what always comes down,\nisn't it? That is why we build these cat and dog proof pavilions for\nuse on rainy days. Now if it rained elephants, that _would_ be an\ninconvenience.\"\n\n\"I should say so,\" replied the boy. \"But does it always rain like this?\"\n\n\"Oh, sometimes it's a great deal worse. I remember about two years\nago I was caught in a storm and eight cats, all in one lump, and\nfighting as hard as they could, fell right on top of me as I crossed\nthe street, and I assure you, sir, I _almost_ lost my temper.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Omo, \"it's lucky they melt as soon as they reach the\nground or you'd have more cats and dogs than you knew what to do with.\"\n\n\"Quite true,\" responded the stranger, \"and even as it is, it is quite a\nnuisance when a storm comes up.\"\n\nHe was an odd looking fellow with a curly beard, a scimitar in his\nsash, and a spotted turban on his head. As he finished speaking he\nbegan twisting at his ear with his finger as though he were winding a\nclock.\n\n\"What's the matter,\" asked Omo, \"is your ear sore?\"\n\n\"Certainly not! You know as well as I do I'm only winding myself up so\nI can start home as soon as the storm passes.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" cried Omo, \"is that it? Well, I don't have to wind myself up\nwhen I want to go anywhere. I'm always wound up.\"\n\n\"You are!\" exclaimed the stranger. \"Why, I can hardly believe it! I\nnever heard of _anyone_ being _that_ way! You can't have lived here\nvery long.\"\n\n\"Oh, no,\" said the boy, \"I haven't lived here a half hour. I only just\ncame.\"\n\nThen he asked his companion if this was the city of Ootch, where the\nfamous Fountain of Riches was located.\n\n\"Oh, yes,\" said the stranger, \"this is the city of Ootch all right. And\nthe Fountain of Riches is here, too, but it's turned off; been turned\noff for years. Gee whiz, don't I remember the good old days when it was\nturned on. Everybody got so rich we nearly starved to death because\nnobody would work to provide things for us to live on. And then all\nof a sudden the fountain stopped, and I had to go to work again. I'm\na night watchman. Not that there is much use of watching the night,\nbecause no one ever tries to steal it, but that's the trade my father\ntaught me, so I'm it. And now, maybe you'll tell me why you ask about\nthe Fountain of Riches?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Omo, cautiously, \"I've heard so much about it I just\nthought I'd like to see it while I was here.\" He didn't think it wise\nto tell anything about the fairy godmother giving him the key to the\nfountain for fear some one might try to take the key from him.\n\n\"Quite so,\" said the other, \"then you'd better come with me. The shower\nis over now, and if you want to see the fountain you've got to get a\npermit from the Doodab.\"\n\n\"The Doodab! What's a Doodab?\" asked Omo.\n\n\"A Doodab,\" exclaimed the Night Watchman, \"is the next swellest person\nto a Gumshu. Ootch isn't important enough to be governed by a Gumshu\nso they put a Doodab over us, and he's a right decent chap, and _very_\nfond of music. Why I've seen him sit by the hour and push a slate\npencil across a slate and go into ecstasies because it made his blood\nrun cold. You'll probably like him if you don't hate him. So come along\nand see for yourself.\"\n\nNow the Doodab of Ootch was a very, very fat, and a very, very lazy\ngentleman. He hated to be bothered about anything at any time. He wore\nrings on his fingers and bells on his toes, and he had a big hoop of\npearls through the end of his nose. And he especially hated to be\nbothered when he was singing, which is what he was doing as Omo and the\nNight Watchman entered his apartment. And this is what he was singing\nin a very quivery voice as he accompanied himself on a slate with an\nawfully squeaky slate pencil:\n\n    The currant cakes were thick upon the bushes;\n      The pie plants they were swaying in the breeze,\n    And the river it was made of delicious lemonade.\n      While the doughnuts all were ripe upon the trees.\n    We wandered hand in hand about the garden\n      Where the lollipops were strolling to and fro;\n    And I always will recall that exciting day in Fall\n      When we stood and watched the pickled onions grow.\n\n\"Well,\" exclaimed the Doodab, fretfully, \"what _do_ you want? It seems\nstrange I can't embark on a sea of melody without being dragged ashore\nlike this. What _do_ you want?\"\n\n\"This boy wants to get a permit to look at the Fountain of Riches,\"\nsaid the Night Watchman.\n\n\"He wants--What does he want that for?\"\n\n\"Oh, I just want to see what it looks like,\" said Omo. \"I never saw a\nFountain of Riches before.\"\n\n\"Hum!\" said the Doodab of Ootch. \"That remark has a very jarring note\nin it. And what are you going to do after you've seen the Fountain of\nRiches?\"\n\n\"Why,\" said Omo, \"just--just look at it, of--of course.\"\n\n\"And what are you going to do after that?\"\n\n\"Why--why, just--just keep on looking at it, I guess,\" responded the\nboy, hardly knowing what to say.\n\n\"Nonsense!\" said the Doodab, \"it won't do any good to keep on looking\nat it forever. And besides if you look at it too long the permit will\nrun out. It only lasts three minutes.\"\n\n\"Three minutes!\" exclaimed Omo. \"Oh, I couldn't turn the fountain on\nand off, and gather up the gold pieces in three minutes.\" And then he\nclapped his hand to his mouth in dismay when he realized what he had\nsaid.\n\n\"Ah, ha!\" said the Doodab of Ootch, rattling the bells on his toes. \"So\nyou're going to turn it on, eh?\"\n\n\"Oh, ho!\" said the Night Watchman. \"And how in the world did you find\nout how to turn it on?\"\n\n\"Oh, I found out!\" replied the boy.\n\n\"Well,\" said the Doodab, \"I'm mighty glad to hear it, for I'm\ndreadfully hard up. My purse is just about empty.\"\n\nThen he clapped his hands and when his servants entered the room, he\ntold them to get several large sacks and some shovels, and follow him.\nThen having twisted his ear and wound himself up, while the Night\nWatchman did the same, he took Omo by one hand and the Night Watchman\nby the other, and led the way to the Fountain of Riches.\n\n\"See here,\" said Omo, as they hurried through the streets, \"you two\nneedn't think you're going to have piles of gold pieces again, for\nyou're not. I'm only going to turn that fountain on long enough to get\nmy hat full; and then I'm going to turn it off.\"\n\n\"What!\" shrieked the Doodab of Ootch, \"you're going to turn it off\nbefore I get my sacks full?\"\n\n\"Can I believe my ears?\" said the Night Watchman. \"You can't mean to\nturn it off before I get my pockets full? Why--why if it hadn't been\nfor me you never would have seen the Doodab, or found out where the\nfountain was. You must be spoofing!\"\n\n\"No, I'm not,\" said Omo. \"I'm very sorry, but I promised to turn the\nfountain off the minute I got my hat full.\"\n\n\"The minute you get your hat full, eh?\" said the Doodab, looking at Omo\nslyly. Then he whispered in the Night Watchman's ear, after which they\nboth laughed merrily.\n\n\"What are you laughing at?\" asked Omo.\n\n\"We're laughing,\" said the Night Watchman, \"to think how you're going\nto turn the fountain off after you get your hat full.\"\n\nBy this time they had reached the Fountain of Riches which was in the\ncenter of the public square of the city.\n\n\"Are you still determined to turn it off as soon as you get your hat\nfull?\" asked the Night Watchman.\n\n\"I have to,\" said Omo. \"I promised.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the Doodab, snappishly, \"if you want to shut it off you've\ngot to turn it on first, haven't you? So go ahead!\"\n\nSo Omo took out the silver key, fitted it into the keyhole at the base\nof the fountain, and turned three times to the right, then three times\nto the left, and then _three_ times in the middle, and bing--with a\nclink and a chink, and a tinkle, the fountain of riches began to spout.\nAnd the minute it did that, the Night Watchman grabbed Omo's cap from\nhis head, and the Doodab snatched the key from his hand.\n\n\"There,\" said the Doodab of Ootch, hurling the key as far as he could,\n\"I guess you won't turn off the fountain until you find that key.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Night Watchman, hurling Omo's cap as far as _he_ could,\n\"and I guess you won't fill your cap until you find your cap either.\nAnd by the time you do I'll have my pockets full of gold pieces.\"\n\n\"And,\" put in the Doodab, \"I'll have my sacks full also.\"\n\nWell, you may be sure Omo was very angry at the trick played on him,\nand started after the cap and key as quickly as he could. It did not\ntake him long to find his cap, but he simply could not find the key.\n\n\"See here,\" he cried, running back to where the Doodab was tying up the\nnecks of his sacks, which were now filled to bursting, \"you've got to\nhelp me find that key. I promised to turn this fountain off and I'm\ngoing to do it.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said the Doodab, \"I'll help you. I've got gold enough here\nto last me the rest of my life so I don't care how soon you turn it\noff.\"\n\n\"Nor I,\" said the Night Watchman. \"I've got all my pockets full, and my\nstockings full besides, so stop the old thing whenever you want.\"\n\nBut Omo, and the Doodab, and the Night Watchman, although they searched\nand searched, could not find the key anywhere, and all the while the\nfountain was spouting gold pieces in a stream a hundred feet high, and\nso thick it looked like smoke.\n\n\"My sakes!\" said the Doodab of Ootch, \"I don't know how you'll ever\nstop it! I'm sorry I threw the key away now! But, anyhow, the worst\nthat can happen if the fountain keeps on spouting, is to give the town\na spell of nervous prosperity.\"\n\nBut alas, the Doodab of Ootch did not know what he was talking about,\nfor the fountain kept on spouting and spouting, faster and faster; and\npresently the streets were knee deep in gold pieces. It was awful.\n\n\"Say,\" said the Night Watchman to Omo, \"are you sure you turned the\nfountain on all right? It never spouted like this before. We've always\nbeen able to pick up the gold pieces as fast as they came out.\"\n\n\"Of course I turned it on right,\" said the boy. \"I turned the key three\ntimes to the right and three times to the left, and then _once_ in the\nmiddle.\"\n\n\"No such thing!\" shrieked the Doodab. \"No such thing! You turned it\n_three_ times in the middle! I watched you!\"\n\n\"Oh,\" cried Omo, in a horrified tone, \"did I? Then--then _that's_ why\nthe gold is coming out so fast. And it's getting deeper all the time.\"\n\n\"It'll soon be up to our necks!\" cried the Night Watchman.\n\n\"We are lost!\" roared the Doodab. He glared at Omo angrily. \"How dared\nyou turn it on wrong?\"\n\n\"Well, what did you throw the key away for?\" retorted the boy. \"If you\nhadn't done that, I could turn it off.\"\n\nAnd there they stood quarreling, and all the time the gold was getting\ndeeper and deeper about them. And when at last they decided they had\nbetter go back to the Doodab's palace before they were buried alive,\nthey found it was too late. The gold pieces were so deep they could not\nwalk.\n\n\"Mercy me!\" groaned Omo. \"I'll never get back to my grandfather now. I\nwish I had never come here!\"\n\n\"So do I!\" snapped the Doodab of Ootch. \"Until you came I was perfectly\npoor and happy, and now I'm horribly rich and wretched. Oh, what\n_shall_ we do?\"\n\nAnd then all of a sudden Omo remembered a whistle the fairy godmother\nhad given him when she gave him the key. \"If you really need me for\nanything,\" she had said, \"just blow this whistle; but not unless you\n_really_ need me.\" So Omo put the whistle to his lips and blew as\nhard as he could, for he thought if he ever _really_ needed a fairy\ngodmother he needed one now.\n\nAnd the minute he blew the whistle there was a flutter and a whirr, and\nthe fairy godmother, frilled bonnet and all, stood before them.\n\n\"Well,\" she said, \"you are in a _nice_ mess, aren't you?\"\n\n\"It isn't my fault,\" said the boy. And then he told her how he had\ntried to obey her instructions, but could not because the Doodab of\nOotch had thrown the key away. \"I did make a mistake turning the\nfountain on,\" he said, \"but I could have turned it off all right if the\nkey had not been taken from me.\"\n\n\"I see!\" said the fairy godmother.\n\nThen she told Omo to fill his cap as well as his pockets with gold\npieces. And after he had done it, she gave three clucks like a chicken\ndoes, snapped her finger twice; and bing--all the gold pieces in the\nstreets of Ootch, all the gold in the Doodab's money bags, all the\ngold in the pockets and stockings of the Night Watchman; all the gold\neverywhere except that which Omo had, disappeared, and the Fountain of\nRiches also.\n\n\"There,\" she said, \"that's the best way to settle the matter. And now,\ncome on, Omo, and get the doctor for your grandfather and pay the ogre\nhis rent.\"\n\n\"But,\" howled the Doodab of Ootch and the Night Watchman, \"what do we\ndo? We haven't a cent!\"\n\n\"You don't deserve any,\" replied the fairy godmother, sternly. \"And as\nlong as you're howling so about it, I'll just make you and the whole\ncity disappear as well.\"\n\nAnd she did, with three clucks and a snap of her fingers; and the next\nmoment Omo found himself in the fairy godmother's cottage.\n\nWell, you can easily guess how after thanking his benefactress for\nwhat she had done, he hurried off to the doctor's office. And when the\ndoctor saw Omo's cap and pockets full of gold, he went with him at\nonce; and became so interested in Omo's grandfather's case he took ten\nyears to cure him.\n\nBut neither Omo nor his grandfather cared if he did, for they had\nplenty of money. And when the ogre came stamping in to collect his\nrent, thinking he would not get it and would then make Omo into a\ndumpling, Omo just laughed and _bought_ the place from him. And not\nonly that, but he added another wing to the cottage and laid out a\npretty garden as well, as much like the fairy godmother's as he could\nmake it. And when he did that the fairy godmother was so pleased she\ncame and kept house for them.\n\nAnd now if you want to see a really _happy_ family, just stop and\nmake a visit at Omo's place in the middle of the forest where his\ngrandfather used to cut down the trees to make a living, but which he\ndoes not have to do any more, thanks to the Fountain of Riches.\n\n\n\n\n                            OBSTINATE TOWN\n\n\nOf course you know what a postage stamp is: a little, square, gummed\nstamp with a picture of George Washington on it. But a _magic_ postage\nstamp is a very different stamp indeed. The George Washington kind you\ncan buy in the drug stores, but the other sort you cannot buy. They are\ngiven to you free of charge, if you don't look out.\n\nIn the autumn, when the leaves are falling, the Poppykoks come to town.\nThere may be a hundred leaves falling and not one leaf have a Poppykok\non it, and then all of a sudden, another leaf falls on your shoulder\nand a Poppykok is sitting on it, and then--bing--the moment he lands on\nyour shoulder he jumps off the leaf and pastes a magic postage stamp\non your cheek, and then--off you start for Obstinate Town by special\ndelivery, that is, you do if you happen to be a boy that always wants\nhis own way. But if you are not that kind of a boy, you need not worry.\n\nHowever, the boy this story is about was one of the kind who wanted his\nown way. No matter what he was told to do he wanted to do something\nelse. Otherwise, he was a very nice little chap, and his name was\nPrince Zep, the only son of a wealthy and powerful king. Of course\nbeing a prince he was allowed to have his own way much more than was\ngood for him, and was so used to it, he never thought anything about\nhow unpleasant it might make things for other people.\n\nAnd so, it is not surprising that one afternoon late in the Fall he was\ncaught, and sent off to Obstinate Town by special delivery.\n\nNow Zep never guessed, any more than you have, that there was such a\nplace as Obstinate Town, or such things as Poppykoks or magic postage\nstamps. And so, as he strolled through the Royal Park that afternoon\nscudding his feet through the dried leaves that covered the way, he\nhad not the slightest idea that anything was going to happen to him,\nuntil quite unexpectedly, a big, red maple leaf fell on his shoulder,\nand from it stepped a Poppykok in his bright scarlet coat and breeches,\nand with his magic postage stamp neatly curled up in a roll in his\nhand. And before Zep could even gasp, the Poppykok had pasted the stamp\non his cheek, leaped from his shoulder to the ground, and stood before\nhim, smiling cheerfully.\n\n[Illustration: The Poppykok pasted a magic postage stamp on his cheek]\n\n\"There you are,\" said the Poppykok, \"a good job, well done. Bon voyage!\"\n\n\"Bon what?\" began Zep, \"I--I--\"\n\n\"That's all right,\" responded the Poppykok, \"you don't know where\nyou're going, but you're going. Good-by! I'll see you later!\"\n\nAnd then Zep felt himself leap into the air and start off with a whiz.\nAnd the more he whizzed, the more he whizzed, until it seemed as though\nhe would never stop whizzing.\n\n\"My gracious,\" he thought, as well as he could as he hurried along,\n\"what on earth has happened to me, and where, oh where, am I going?\nThis is really dreadful!\"\n\nAnd indeed it was for a little while. But presently he began to get\nused to the whizzing, and finally found himself descending in a\ngraceful curve before a large and ornate building that looked very much\nlike a palace. And sure enough that is exactly what it was, and sitting\non the steps of the palace waiting for him was the very same Poppykok\nthat had started him off on his journey.\n\n\"Welcome!\" said the Poppykok, rising and coming forward as the Prince\nreached the ground with a bump, \"you're right on time. I hope you had a\npleasant trip?\"\n\n\"No,\" said Zep, crossly, \"I certainly did not. I had a horrid trip. How\ndare you treat me this way?\"\n\n\"Pooh! Pooh!\" responded the other, snapping his fingers, \"everybody\nsays that when they first arrive. You'll be crazy about the place in a\nlittle while. And now let's go inside and report to the Emperor.\"\n\nPushing open the front door of the palace the Poppykok led the way into\nthe grand entrance hall, and as he did so a short, fat man with a\ncrown on his bald head, and bristling whiskers all about his face, came\ntumbling down the stairway head over heels, and landed in a heap at\ntheir feet.\n\n\"Ouch!\" he exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing his nose. After which\nhe rubbed his shins and said \"ouch\" once more; and \"oh my\" and \"good\ngracious.\" And after that he bawled up the stairs as loud as he could:\n\"Don't try to tell _me_ to be careful and not fall downstairs, for I'll\ndo as I want.\"\n\nThen he swung himself about. \"The idea,\" he said, glaring at the\nPrince and the Poppykok, \"of any one trying to keep _me_ from falling\ndownstairs. Huh! Can't I fall down my own stairs? Can't I? Tell me!\"\n\n\"Certainly you can, your majesty,\" responded the Poppykok. \"You can\nfall up 'em, too, if you want.\"\n\n\"I should think so,\" retorted the Emperor, \"and yet the Queen tells me\nto look out and not fall down 'em, because it worries her. Well, let\nher worry. I want her to worry.\"\n\nBut if the Queen was worried she did not act that way, for as she\ncame tripping down she was laughing so heartily that she nearly fell\nherself, and finally had to sit on the bottom step to get her breath.\n\n\"What--what--\" spluttered the Emperor, \"what do you mean by not\nworrying? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Look at my nose, to say\nnothing of the bump on my shins. My, oh, my, isn't anybody worried\nabout me?\"\n\n\"I am, your majesty,\" put in Zep, \"and I think the Queen ought to be,\ntoo.\"\n\n\"She ought not,\" snapped the monarch, scrambling to his feet. \"If I\nwanted her to be glad she _would_ be worried, but as I want her to be\nworried, she is _not_. You must be a stranger here.\"\n\n\"He is,\" said the Poppykok. \"He just arrived. I only caught him a\nlittle while ago.\"\n\nThen he told the Emperor who Zep was. \"This boy,\" he said, \"is a\nPrince, and has his own way more than anybody else in his father's\nkingdom. In fact, he is one of the most delightfully stubborn young\npersons I have ever met, and _never_ will do what any one wants him to\nif he can possibly help it.\"\n\n\"My,\" said the Emperor, grasping Zep's hand and shaking it warmly,\n\"if that isn't the finest record I ever heard of. I couldn't be more\npig-headed myself. How did you get so? Did you learn it at school or\njust teach yourself?\"\n\n\"Oh,\" said Zep, feeling rather proud, \"I just picked it up, I guess.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the monarch, \"there is nothing like it to my mind.\nPerhaps you've read my famous poem on the subject? Have you?\"\n\n\"No,\" said Zep, \"I never heard of it.\"\n\n\"Humph!\" said the Emperor, looking rather disappointed. \"You're not\nvery literary, are you? However, there is no reason why you should not\nhear it now. Listen.\"\n\n    When I was a lad, I said to myself\n    As I hooked the jam from the pantry shelf,\n      \"I may grow up and I may grow old\n      But I hope I'll never do as I'm told.\n    \"For all the fun I've ever had,\n    \"Has always come from being bad.\"\n\n    So I started out on my wild career,\n    And I did so well that I'm Emperor here,\n      Where you're told to do this, and you simply don't--\n      And you're asked to do that, and you say you won't.\n    And _my_ what a lot of fun I've had--\n    For I _never_ mind, and I'm awful bad.\n\n\"You can see,\" said the Emperor, when he had finished, \"what a splendid\nplace you have come to. And as the years pass, I hope you may find it\neven more delightful.\"\n\n\"As the years pass,\" repeated Zep. \"Why--why, I can't stay here for\nyears. What would my folks say?\"\n\n\"If you ask me,\" put in the Poppykok, \"I should say they'd say: 'thank\ngoodness, he's gone at last.'\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Emperor, \"it's only in Obstinate Town that people like\nboys like you. Everywhere else they think you're a nuisance. Didn't you\nknow that?\"\n\n\"Why--why, no,\" said Zep. \"I--I thought everybody liked me.\"\n\n\"Ho, ho, ho!\" roared the Poppykok, shaking with merriment.\n\n\"Hee, hee, hee!\" cackled the Emperor, \"my word, that's good! You ought\nto send that to a comic paper. He thought everybody liked him.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Zep, sulkily, \"they always acted as though they did. I--I\nlike people to like me. But as long as they don't I'll _never_ go back.\"\n\n\"That's the stuff,\" said the Emperor. \"Don't you do it. You stay here\nwith me and enjoy yourself. Do as you please. Be as cranky as you like.\nWhy, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd be a popular idol some day if you\ngo on the way you've begun.\"\n\nSo Zep settled down in Obstinate Town determined to enjoy himself with\nall his might. And because he was a prince, the Emperor let him live in\nthe palace and eat his meals at the royal table.\n\nHowever, he did not care much for the meals. You never could get what\nyou wanted. When you asked the royal butler for cold chicken, he would\nalways tell you he would rather you took cold ham. And if you wanted\nstewed kidneys, the butler right away said he preferred to give you\nbroiled oysters. No matter what you asked for, the stubborn old butler\nalways insisted on giving you something else, whether you liked it or\nnot. And such an arrangement made Zep awfully cross.\n\n\"I don't see why you have such a butler,\" he said to the Emperor. \"When\nI ask our butler at home for anything, he gives it to me quick. He\nwouldn't _dare_ give me anything else. If he did my father would hang\nhim.\"\n\n\"Humph!\" responded the Emperor, \"it seems to me your father must be a\nvery cruel person. The idea of hanging any one for wanting his own way.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Zep, \"it's so--so inconvenient. If they have their own way\nhow can you have yours?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the Emperor, \"you can't, with a butler, unless you go to\nthe pantry and help yourself. And yet, why shouldn't he have his way as\nwell as you? Why shouldn't he?\"\n\nAnd the Prince did not know what to say to that. But nevertheless it\nwas tough to have every one else having their own way as well as you.\nWhen you got in a trolley car and told the conductor to let you off at\na certain street, he would stop the car at another street, and unless\nyou were stronger than he, would put you off there no matter how much\nyou struggled and yelled. And one day, when the Emperor and Zep were\nput off six blocks from their destination, the monarch was dreadfully\nangry.\n\n\"I know I told you I thought other people ought to have their own way\nthe same as you and I,\" he said to Zep, \"but when a conductor not only\nputs me off his car before I want to get off, but kicks me into the\nbargain, it's too much.\"\n\n\"That's what I think,\" said Zep, \"and if I were you I'd issue a royal\ndecree saying that only the upper classes can have their own way\n_always_, and that the lower classes can only have their own way, when\nit suits the upper classes.\"\n\n\"A good idea,\" said the Emperor, \"I'll do it.\"\n\nAnd despite the fact that it made the lower classes fairly purple with\nindignation, the decree was issued at once, and Zep, and the Emperor,\nand the rest of the upper classes, did as they liked whenever they\nwanted to, and had a fine time doing it.\n\n\"I tell you what,\" said the Emperor to the Prince one morning after\nbreakfast as he finished reading the paper, \"that was a grand idea of\nyours, Zep, about letting the lower classes have their own way only\nwhen it suited us. Life has been much sweeter ever since.\"\n\n\"I think so, too,\" said Zep, \"except that if _nobody_ else could have\ntheir own way, it would be sweeter still.\"\n\n\"Hum,\" said the monarch, \"I never thought of that. And the more I think\nof it, the more I think you're right. I know what I'll do. I'll issue\nanother decree putting all the upper classes into the lower classes,\nexcept myself. Then I can do whatever I want, no matter what anybody\nsays.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Zep, \"you wouldn't put me in the lower classes, would you?\"\n\n\"Why not,\" replied the Emperor. \"Suppose I wanted my own way about\nsomething at the same time that you wanted your own way about it, the\nonly way it could be managed without a fight, would be for you to be in\nthe lower classes where you couldn't have your own way unless it suited\nme. See?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Zep, sulkily, \"I see, but I don't think it's fair. Why not\nput yourself in the lower classes and let me stay in the upper class?\"\n\n\"Impossible,\" said the Emperor, \"for if any one ever belonged to the\nupper classes an Emperor does.\"\n\n\"So does a prince,\" said Zep.\n\n\"Not necessarily,\" replied the monarch. \"I had a dog named Prince once,\nbut you never heard of a dog named Emperor, did you?\"\n\nAnd as Zep could think of nothing to say to that, the Emperor issued\nhis decree, and Zep and all the rest of the upper classes were put in\nthe lower classes, and the monarch enjoyed himself more than ever.\n\nBut if the Emperor enjoyed himself, Zep and the rest of the upper\nclasses did not. For if they wanted to do something the Emperor always\nwanted them to do something different. And if he did not want that, he\nwanted them to do something nobody could do. And as Zep lived in the\npalace he had it worse than anybody else.\n\nHe was told to hold his breath for an hour; to stand on his ear for\nhalf an hour, and not wink for fifteen minutes. And when he did not do\nwhat he was told because he could not, the Emperor stuck pins in him\nand dared him to yell.\n\n\"See here,\" said Zep to the monarch, \"I used to like you but I don't a\nbit any more. I'm going back home right off.\"\n\n\"Very well,\" said the Emperor, \"go ahead. I'm tired of you anyway. The\nidea of a strong, healthy boy not being able to stand on his ear, and\nmaking such a fuss, too, because a few pins are stuck in him. Go on,\n_go_ back home.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Zep, \"how will I get there? I--I don't know the way.\"\n\n\"Of course you don't,\" replied the monarch, \"nobody does. There isn't\nany way.\"\n\n\"Isn't any way?\" repeated the Prince in a tone of horror. \"Why--why,\nhave I got to stay here with _you_ always?\"\n\nThe Emperor nodded. \"Sure thing, unless a Kokkipop sends you back. The\nPoppykoks bring you here and the Kokkipops send you back. But as no one\never wants to _go_ back it's mighty hard to find a Kokkipop, so I guess\nI'll be sticking pins in you for some time yet. Ho, ho, ho!\"\n\nWell, you can be sure when the Emperor said that and laughed about it,\ntoo, Zep felt about as gloomy as he ever had in his life.\n\n\"Oh, dear,\" he said, \"what on earth shall I do? If only I can get away\nfrom this nasty old place I'll never want my own way again. I'll be a\ndifferent boy. I never--\"\n\n\"Here, here,\" put in the Emperor, sternly, \"stop that talk. You mustn't\nsay such things as that. No one ever talks about not wanting their own\nway in Obstinate Town. It's downright treason. Do you want to go to\nprison? But anyhow, I don't suppose you meant it.\"\n\n\"Indeed, I did,\" said Zep, \"I meant every word I said. I'm tired of\nhaving my own way--it's silly. Look at the mess it's got me into. I'm\ngoing to be different--\"\n\n\"Stop!\" shrieked the Emperor, at the top of his lungs, \"stop, I say!\nYou'll have a Kokkipop here in another moment, and oh, how I hate 'em.\nI hate 'em worse than--than spiders. And--and, my goodness gracious\nsakes alive, you've brought one--you've brought one. Run, run, or the\nKokkipop will get you!\"\n\nAnd with that the Emperor dived under his throne, while the Prince,\nlooking about with a startled air, did not know whether to flee or\nnot. And then, as he hesitated, a very brisk old gentleman, dressed in\nbright yellow, came into the room.\n\n\"Did you call?\" he asked Zep.\n\n\"Call,\" said the boy, \"why--why, no. What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Did you call for a Kokkipop?\" repeated the other testily. \"And for\nmercy's sake don't say you didn't, for I've been waiting for a call all\nmy life. I was a young man when I joined the Kokkipops, and in all that\ntime I have never been called until now. So I hope you did call. Did\nyou?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Zep, \"I said I wanted to go home, if that's what you mean.\"\n\n\"And you said you didn't want your own way any more, didn't you?\"\ninquired the Kokkipop, eagerly.\n\n\"Yes,\" replied the Prince, \"I did. And I don't.\"\n\n\"He does, too,\" put in the Emperor, sticking his head out from under\nhis throne. \"He doesn't mean what he says. He's just mad at me for\nsticking pins in him.\"\n\n\"I don't believe it,\" said the Kokkipop, scowling at the Emperor,\n\"you're just trying to keep me out of a job.\" Then he turned to the\nPrince. \"You did mean what you said, didn't you?\"\n\n\"I certainly did,\" said Zep, \"and--\"\n\n\"Whoopee!\" yelled the Kokkipop, joyfully, \"then I _have_ got a job at\nlast.\"\n\nWhereupon he took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, and began to\npaste magic postage stamps all over the Prince. \"There,\" he said,\nstanding off to admire his work, \"I guess that will take you back all\nright.\"\n\n\"Take him back,\" sneered the Emperor, crawling from under his throne,\n\"why it'll take him twice over. You've put excess postage on him. Shows\nwhat a Kokkipop knows about his business.\"\n\n\"Is that so,\" retorted the Kokkipop, \"well, I know enough to send this\nboy where you won't stick pins in him any more, and where he won't want\nhis own way any more.\" He turned to Zep. \"Isn't that so?\"\n\n\"Yes, indeed,\" said the Prince.\n\n\"Then,\" responded the Kokkipop, \"here's to a quick and comfortable\ntrip. Good-by, I'll see you later.\"\n\n\"No--wait!\" shouted the Emperor, running toward Zep, \"don't go. I'll\nput you in the upper classes again. I'll--\"\n\nBut it was no use. Once again Zep felt himself leap into the air, and\nwhiz, and whiz, and whiz, even faster than he had before. And then just\nas he was beginning to get used to the whizzing and rather enjoy it, he\ncommenced to descend in a graceful curve, and presently landed with a\nbump in the gardens adjoining his father's palace. And there, sitting\non the grass, was the Kokkipop waiting for him.\n\n\"Greeting,\" said the Kokkipop, \"did you have a nice trip?\"\n\n\"Fine,\" said Zep, \"but of course I'm glad it's over and that I'm safe\nhome again. And of course I'm awfully obliged to you for getting me out\nof such a scrape.\"\n\n\"Oh, that's all right,\" said the Kokkipop, as he peeled off the magic\npostage stamps, \"it's been a pleasure to help you. And who knows but\nyou may try to have your own way again and be taken back to Obstinate\nTown. And if you do, don't forget I'm always glad to get a job.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said Zep, \"I won't, but I never expect to visit Obstinate\nTown again if I can help it.\"\n\nAnd sure enough Zep never did. From that moment he was a changed boy,\nso much so that it really worried his father, the king.\n\n\"I don't understand it,\" said the King to his Prime Minister. \"He does\njust what I tell him and never whines; and when he takes a walk he\njumps about a foot if a leaf falls on him. I don't understand it.\"\n\nBut if the King did not, Zep did, and was determined no Poppykok should\nget another chance at him.\n\n\n\n\n                           TOOBAD THE TAILOR\n\n\nOnce there lived in the city of Vex a tailor named Toobad, which was\na very good name for him, for he really was too bad for anything,\nin fact, he was downright wicked. And not only was he wicked but he\nwas also deceitful, because he was really not a tailor at all but an\nenchanter or conjuror, and only practiced a tailor's trade to fool the\nfathers, and grandfathers, and uncles, and big brothers of the little\nboys of Vex, and make them pay him money. And this is the way he did it:\n\nHe put a sign in his window and offered to make clothes for gentlemen\nvery, very cheap out of the very, very best materials that would never\nwear out, and of course when he offered to do _that_ all the fathers,\nand grandfathers, and uncles, and big brothers went and ordered their\nsuits from him as quick as they could. But after the clothes were made\nand the fathers, and grandfathers, and uncles, and big brothers had\nput them on, _then_ they found out, when it was too late, what sort of\na person Toobad was, for they had to keep on paying, and paying, and\npaying for the clothes forever and forever. If they did not the suits\nthey were wearing got tighter and tighter until their breath was almost\nsqueezed out of them.\n\nIt was no use to try to get the clothes off because they simply would\n_not_ come off. So you can imagine how cross and miserable all the\nfathers, and grandfathers, and uncles, and big brothers in Vex were.\n\nNow there were lots of little boys in Vex, but the most interesting one\nwas a bright little fellow named Winn, because in _his_ family there\nhappened to be a father, _and_ a grandfather, _and_ an uncle, _and_ a\nbig brother all wearing suits made by Toobad the Tailor, whereas the\nother boys only had a father, _or_ a grandfather, _or_ an uncle, _or_ a\nbig brother. None of them had all four together, and therefore did not\nhave as much cause to dislike Toobad as Winn had.\n\nOf course when Winn's father, and grandfather, and his uncle and his\nbig brother, had paid for their suits _once_ and Toobad had told\nthem they must keep right on paying every week, they said they would\n_not_. But after the suits had squeezed them once or twice, and after\nthey had tried to get the clothes off and found they could not, they\nchanged their minds. And every Saturday night as soon as they got their\nsalaries they rushed right down to Toobad's shop and paid him, so they\nwould have a comfortable Sunday, which did not please Winn's mother at\nall because it left very little to buy food with.\n\n\"Good gracious,\" she used to say to Winn's father, and grandfather, and\nuncle, and big brother, \"if you keep on giving that tailor half your\nmoney, I don't know how I'll get along.\"\n\n\"Indeed,\" said Winn's father, who was very fat, \"and if I don't pay it\nI don't know how _I'll_ get along. I've got to breathe, haven't I?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Winn's grandfather, and his uncle, and his big brother, who\nwere all as fat as his father, \"we would much rather breathe than eat.\"\n\n\"All right, then,\" said Winn's mother, \"go ahead and breathe but don't\nblame me if you starve also, for food is so high, I can buy very little\nwith the money you give me.\"\n\nAnd when she said that Winn's father, and his grandfather, and his\nuncle, and his big brother would groan awfully, which made Winn and his\nmother as blue as indigo, for they knew if Toobad was not paid, the\nclothes Winn's father, and grandfather, and uncle and big brother wore\nwould squeeze them tighter and tighter so they could not work at all,\nand yet if he was paid there would not be enough money left to keep the\nwolf from the door.\n\nSo finally Winn determined to go and see Toobad and try and coax him\nnot to be so hard on his folks. \"Maybe if I offer to be his errand\nboy,\" he said, \"he'll agree to let us stop paying for a while until we\ncatch up with our grocery bills.\"\n\nBut when he got to the tailor's shop he had a very hard time to coax\nToobad into having an errand boy. \"No, no,\" said the enchanter,\ntestily, \"I don't need an errand boy, and even if I did need one I need\nthe money your family pays me much more.\"\n\n\"But think how stylish it is for a tailor to have an errand boy,\" said\nWinn. \"All fashionable tailors send clothes home to their customers.\nThey never ask customers to come after their clothes. I should think\nyou'd be _ashamed_ not to have an errand boy.\"\n\nSo, finally, after talking and talking, Toobad agreed to hire Winn as\nhis errand boy, and instead of giving him wages to let his family stop\npaying for their clothes for a few weeks.\n\n\"But remember this,\" said the tailor, \"you are not to tell any one\nabout the arrangement, because if you do all my customers will want to\nstop paying until they get caught up on their grocery bills.\"\n\nSo Winn promised to keep the matter secret and the next morning started\nin on his duties.\n\nNow it happened that one of the first persons he delivered clothes\nto was a second cousin of his mother's aunt. This second cousin had\nnot heard of the trouble in Winn's family because Winn's father, and\ngrandfather, and uncle, and big brother had been afraid to tell any\none what Toobad had done to them for fear their clothes would squeeze\nthem worse than ever. So when Winn delivered his mother's aunt's second\ncousin's clothes he did not know whether to warn him about putting them\non or not. And while he was trying to make up his mind about it, his\nmother's aunt's second cousin went into another room to get the money\nto pay for the clothes, and when he came out he had the clothes on.\n\n\"Gee whiz,\" he said proudly, \"don't they fit me grand?\"\n\n\"Maybe they do,\" said Winn, \"but I was just going to tell you not to\nput them on, because now you can't get them off, and you've got to keep\non paying for them forever and forever.\"\n\n\"What!\" yelled his mother's aunt's second cousin.\n\nAnd then with another yell he began tearing at the clothes with all\nhis might, trying to get them off, but of course it was no use for\nalthough he almost turned himself inside out, they stuck to him like\nsticking plaster.\n\n[Illustration: He began tearing at his clothes with all his might]\n\n\"You're a nice one!\" he shouted, shaking his finger under Winn's nose.\n\"You ought to be arrested. How dared you sit there and let me put these\nawful things on? I just hope your father, and your grandfather, and\nyour uncle, and your big brother get stuck the same way. I certainly\ndo!\"\n\n\"They _are_ stuck,\" said Winn. \"They've been stuck for some time. That\nis why I am working for Toobad. And I'm very sorry I did not warn you\nabout the clothes in time.\"\n\nAnd then he told his mother's aunt's second cousin what a fix his folks\nwere in and how if you did not pay for the clothes every week they\nsqueezed you until you did.\n\n\"Sakes alive!\" groaned his mother's aunt's second cousin, \"isn't it\ndreadful the trouble some people have? Here I am all dressed up fine\nbut I can't enjoy it a bit after what you've told me.\"\n\nThen he escorted Winn to the door and said he never wanted to see his\nface again. \"I'm sorry to have to say it,\" he continued, \"but until\nyou came a little while ago my life was full of sunshine and now it is\nnothing but a mud puddle. But I forgive you. Good-by!\"\n\nWell, you may be sure Winn felt terribly gloomy as he went back to\nToobad's shop. When he hired out as the tailor's errand boy in order to\nhelp his family, he had not thought how he would be bringing distress\ninto other families by delivering Toobad's enchanted clothes. But he\ncould see now, after the scene with his mother's aunt's second cousin,\nhow selfish and wicked it was for him to help Toobad get other people\ninto trouble in order to make things easier for his own folks. So he\ndetermined that he would give up his job right away.\n\n\"I've decided not to be your errand boy any longer,\" he said to the\nenchanter, as he handed him the money he had received from his mother's\naunt's second cousin. \"I find you are too wicked to work for.\"\n\n\"Humph!\" said the tailor, \"and why am I any wickeder now than I was\nthis morning? You were glad to work for me then.\"\n\n\"I know,\" said Winn, \"but I have just seen my mother's aunt's second\ncousin turn from a carefree, happy person into a miserable wretch, and\nall because I delivered him one of your enchanted suits of clothes.\nAnd I cannot help you in your crimes any longer even if my family do\nsuffer. Good afternoon!\"\n\n\"Good afternoon nothing!\" shouted Toobad. \"Come back here at once.\nYesterday when I did not want an errand boy you talked me into having\none, and now that I've gotten used to having one you want me to do\nwithout one. Well, I shan't do it. You'll work for me whether you want\nto or not.\"\n\nAnd with that he stretched out his hand toward Winn and then drew it\nback and when he drew it back something mysterious drew Winn back\nalso, and though he tried to get to the door he could not move.\n\n\"Now,\" said Toobad, \"will you work for me or not?\"\n\n\"No,\" said Winn, firmly, \"I will never work for you if I can help it.\"\n\n\"Very well, then,\" said the enchanter, \"you shall work for me because\nyou cannot help it.\"\n\nAnd with that he repeated the alphabet backward like lightning,\nwiggling his fingers at the same time, and in a flash Winn was\ntransformed into a tailor's dummy, after which Toobad placed him on the\nsidewalk outside his shop with one of the enchanted suits on him and\nwith a sign on his breast which read:\n\n                        TAKE ME HOME FOR $3.75\n\nso people could see what fine, cheap clothes were sold inside.\n\nAnd maybe Winn did not feel bad as he stood there day after day not\neven able to roll his eyes or move or speak. And on Saturday night he\nfelt particularly bad because his father, and his grandfather, and his\nuncle, and his big brother came by the shop arm in arm, all whistling\nmerrily because they did not have to pay Toobad any money that week and\nwere going to a movie instead.\n\n\"My, my!\" they exclaimed, when they saw Winn by the door, \"doesn't that\nimage look exactly like our Winn, but of course it cannot be because\nit's made of wax.\" And then the next moment they went on their way as\nhappy as larks.\n\n\"Oh, dear!\" said Winn to himself, miserably, \"whatever am I going to\ndo? How am I ever going to escape from this terrible tailor? If only I\ncould think of _some_ way.\"\n\nAnd later when Toobad had brought him indoors and shut the shop, and\ngone off to bed and left him standing in a dark corner, he thought and\nthought with all his might, for he felt if he did not find _some_ way\nto break the enchantment he might as well die.\n\nAnd then as he was still puzzling over the problem he heard a stealthy\nstep, and into the room came Toobad in his nightgown, holding a\nlighted candle in his hand, and Winn saw that he was walking in his\nsleep. And not only was he walking in his sleep but he was talking in\nhis sleep also, and this is what he was saying:\n\n    Of all the gents who wear my clothes\n      Not one has ever guessed, sir,\n    That he could break the magic spell\n      By pulling down his vest, sir.\n    Oh, yes, indeed, there is no need\n      Why he should be distressed, sir,\n    If he but knows enchanted clothes\n      Are governed by the vest, sir.\n\nAnd when Winn heard what he was saying he knew right away that if he\ncould only escape he could easily get his father, and grandfather, and\nuncle, and big brother out of the power of Toobad the tailor, for he\nonly had to tell them to pull down their vests and they would be rid\nforever of the hateful clothing they were wearing. But alas, it was one\nthing to want to get home, and another to get there, for while he was\ntransformed into a tailor's dummy he was utterly helpless and could\nonly stand and watch Toobad as he wandered about the shop with his eyes\nshut and the lighted candle in his hand.\n\nAnd then all of a sudden something happened that transformed him from\na tailor's dummy into a very real boy, for Toobad, not seeing where\nhe was going, bumped right into him and the flame of the candle came\nright against Winn's nose--only for a moment--but it was long enough to\nscorch it and to make Winn yell--ouch! at the top of his lungs, and to\njoggle all the enchantment out of him. And if you did not believe an\nenchanted person can be cured by scorching his nose, just get yourself\nenchanted and scorch your nose and see if it does not work.\n\nAnyway, it cured Winn, and not only that but it woke Toobad up. And\nwhen the tailor found himself in his shop with his nightgown on, and\nfound Winn changed from a dummy into a regular boy again, he was\nfurious.\n\n\"Zounds!\" he shrieked, dancing up and down, \"how the--what the--where\ndid I come from and how did you get all right again?\"\n\nAnd when Winn told him he was more furious than ever. \"Well,\" he said,\n\"I'll soon fix you anyway.\" And thereupon he began to say the alphabet\nbackward the same as he had done before, but by the time he had said\nthree letters and before the enchantment had had time to work, Winn\nrushed at him and knocked the candle to the floor. And then while the\nshop was in darkness he unhooked the door and ran home as fast as he\ncould. When he got there it was past midnight and of course every one\nwas asleep, but by and by his mother heard him knocking and let him in.\n\nAnd you may be sure it did not take his father, or his grandfather, or\nhis uncle, or his big brother long to hop out of bed where they had\nbeen sleeping with their clothes on because they could not get them\noff. And maybe they were not surprised when they learned that Winn had\nreally been the tailor's dummy they had seen outside the shop. And\nmaybe they were not delighted when they found that Winn knew of a way\nfor them to get rid of the enchanted clothes. And maybe they did not\npull down their vests in a hurry as soon as Winn had finished telling\nthem about it.\n\n\"My gracious,\" said Winn's grandfather, as he peeled the last of the\nhated garments from him, \"I feel twenty years younger. And I can hardly\nwait until morning to get my hands on that villainous tailor.\"\n\n\"Nor I,\" said Winn's father.\n\n\"Me, too,\" said Winn's uncle.\n\n\"I daren't tell you what _I'll_ do to him,\" said Winn's big brother.\n\nAnd the first thing after breakfast they all went around to Toobad's\nshop dressed in their old clothes, and each one of them kept his word\nso well that Toobad was laid up in the hospital for a week. And every\ntime he got well and came out again a fresh batch of victims was\nwaiting to send him back again, for Winn had gone all about the city\ntelling everybody who had bought the enchanted clothes, how to pull\ndown their vests and get rid of them. And, of course, one of the first\npersons he told after his immediate family was his mother's aunt's\nsecond cousin. But as his mother's aunt's second cousin had forgotten\nto put on his vest when he donned his enchanted suit, he could not pull\nhis vest down. And so the only thing to do was to give him chloroform\nand skin the clothes off him a little strip at a time. After which they\nsent _him_ to the hospital also, where he lay in bed right alongside of\nToobad the tailor.\n\nAnd perhaps that is the reason Toobad is still in the hospital, for\nafter Winn's mother's aunt's second cousin got well, he refused to\ngo home, but sat down on the hospital steps to wait for Toobad. And\nneither Winn's father, nor his grandfather, nor his uncle, nor his big\nbrother, were able to coax him away.\n\nBut as for Winn, he did not try to coax him, indeed he soon forgot\nall about his mother's aunt's second cousin, for all the persons in\nVex who had been wearing Toobad's enchanted clothes, began sending\nWinn presents to show their gratitude, and when you have sixteen gold\nwatches, and a couple of ponies, and skates, and air guns, and pretty\nmuch every sort of a thing that a boy likes, you cannot think of much\nelse.\n\nThe best you can do is just to enjoy yourself, and if you think Winn is\nnot doing that, take a trip to Vex some day and you will soon find out.\n\n\n\n\n                           THE SNOOPING-BUG\n\n\nOnce there was a Snooping Bug that lived in a glass jar on a shelf\nin the cottage of a Fairy Godmother. Now fairy godmothers are always\nnice, but this Fairy Godmother was _very_ nice, and the reason she kept\nthe Snooping Bug a prisoner in a jar on her shelf was because she was\nafraid he would go about and get folks into trouble. And another thing\nthat showed she was unusually nice was that every week-end she always\ninvited a little prince or princess to be her guest. And this story\nopens just as Prince Pranc, the only son of the king of a nearby city,\nhad arrived to spend several days with his Fairy Godmother.\n\n\"Now, Pranc,\" said the Fairy Godmother, \"I want you to have the\nhappiest kind of a time, and you'll have it without doubt if you don't\nget into mischief.\"\n\n\"Oh, that's all right,\" replied the Prince, as he watched the Fairy\nGodmother unpack his trunk, \"if I get into mischief you just send me\nhome again.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Fairy Godmother, \"but suppose you are not here to\nsend home again; suppose you have disappeared. Don't forget this is\nan enchanted house and that strange things can happen in an enchanted\nhouse.\"\n\n\"Phew!\" said Pranc, \"I almost wish I hadn't come.\"\n\n\"Not at all,\" replied the Fairy Godmother, \"there is nothing to be\nalarmed about. You could sit on a keg of gunpowder and be perfectly\nsafe if you didn't explode the powder. But in case you should get into\ntrouble, put this ring on your finger and turn it around and around\nwhen danger threatens.\"\n\n\"Oh, thank you,\" said the Prince, slipping on the ring. \"I don't feel\nso worried now.\"\n\nThen the Fairy Godmother took him all over the cottage and showed him\nthe wonderful belongings she had, and last of all she took him into\nher study and there Pranc saw the Snooping Bug in his jar on the shelf.\n\n\"What's that?\" he asked.\n\nAnd the Fairy Godmother told him it was a Snooping Bug. \"And this one,\"\nshe continued, pointing to another jar on the shelf, \"has a Sulking Bug\nin it; and this one--next to it, is a Crying Bug. If they got out of\nthe jars they'd bite you, and you'd start in to snoop, or sulk, or cry.\"\n\n\"Whoever heard of such a thing,\" said the Prince. \"It can't be.\"\n\n\"It can't, eh,\" said the Fairy Godmother. \"Just put your finger on the\ntop of this bottle when I take the cork out.\"\n\nAnd with that she took the magic stopper out of the Crying Bug\nbottle and Pranc stuck his finger in. And then--ping--the next\nmoment something bit it, and the _next_ moment he burst out crying,\nboo-hoo--boo-hoo, as loud as he could. And as he was a boy who hardly\n_ever_ cried, he felt awfully ashamed of himself.\n\n\"Oh, dear,\" he sobbed, \"I hate to cry this way, but--but--\"\n\n\"Don't worry,\" said the Fairy Godmother, as she corked the bottle\nagain, \"he only gave you a little bite. You'll be over it in a minute.\"\n\nAnd presently the tears stopped rolling down Pranc's cheeks and he was\nall right once more.\n\n\"My goodness,\" he said, as he wiped his eyes, \"I wouldn't like that to\nhappen again.\"\n\n\"Then,\" said the Fairy Godmother, \"see that you keep hands off these\nbottles. As long as the bugs stay in the bottles everything will be all\nright, but if they once get out they'll bite every girl and boy they\nfind. That is why I keep them prisoners. I don't care for snooping,\nsulking or crying children, nor does any one else.\"\n\nThen she told Pranc that she would have to leave him for awhile. \"I\nhave been invited to the christening of a princess,\" she said.\n\nSo she put on her gossamer cloak and her diamond studded bonnet, kissed\nher hand to Pranc and went off to the christening. But so interested\nwas Pranc in the bugs on the shelf he hardly noticed her going, for\nthe Sulking Bug looked so mad it almost startled him, and the Crying\nBug had cried so much his bottle was half full of tears and he looked\nalmost as mad as the Sulking Bug. But when it came to the Snooping\nBug, it was a very different affair altogether, for the Snooping Bug,\nalthough he had a sly sort of expression in his big, pop eyes, was real\njolly looking as he slowly scratched his shoulder blade with his hind\nleg. And when he saw the Prince looking at him, he winked one eye and\nthen turned a couple of somersaults, which made the Prince laugh like\nanything.\n\n\"Gee whiz,\" he exclaimed, \"I like this bug.\"\n\nAnd in order to get a better look at the creature he reached the jar\ndown from the shelf and carried it over to the window, or at least\nhe started to, but before he got there he stumbled--bing--the jar\nslipped from his hands, fell to the floor with a crash and broke into a\nthousand pieces, leaving the Snooping Bug kicking in the midst of the\nfragments.\n\n[Illustration: The jar broke into a thousand pieces]\n\n\"Oh,\" cried the Prince, \"I must get something to put him in or he'll\nget away.\"\n\n\"Nonsense,\" remarked the Snooping Bug. \"I'm not going away. You\ncouldn't drive me away. I'm going to stay with you. But do get me out\nof this mess, please.\"\n\nSo Pranc, not suspecting anything, stooped to pick the Snooping Bug up\nand then as he did so--zip, the Bug bit his finger and in about eight\nseconds he changed from a first class little boy who always minded his\nown business and did not pry into things, into a sly, snooping fellow\npeering into corners, and closets, and everything. And as he changed,\nthe Snooping Bug changed also. It swelled, and swelled, and swelled\nuntil it was half as big as Pranc. After which it chuckled, wiggling\nthe two long, wavy horns that grew over its eyebrows, and took the\nPrince by the hand.\n\n\"Come on,\" it said, \"let's start. My, but it feels good to get out of\nthat jar.\"\n\n\"Start,\" said Pranc, \"start where?\"\n\n\"Why, to headquarters,\" replied the Snooping Bug, \"where you can snoop\nall you want.\"\n\nSo off they went to the Fairy Godmother's preserve closet. \"Open the\ndoor,\" said the Snooping Bug. And when the Prince had done so the\nSnooping Bug pushed Pranc inside and then followed, shutting the door\nafter him.\n\n\"My, but it's dark,\" exclaimed the Prince. \"What are we going to do\nnow?\"\n\n\"Just you wait,\" said the Snooping Bug. Then he called out: \"Going\ndown!\" And all of a sudden a brilliantly lighted elevator came down\nright in front of them, the door slid open, Pranc and the Snooping Bug\nstepped inside, and then, ker-zip, ker-zip, ker-zip, the elevator began\nto drop, and drop, and drop, with the most awful dips.\n\nGoodness, how they did drop. The Prince thought they must have dropped\nabout nine hundred miles when at last the elevator stopped after giving\na terrible bounce or two, and the Snooping Bug shouted: \"Here we are!\"\n\nPranc wondered where \"here we are\" was as he looked up and down the\nstreet in which he presently found himself standing, and was about to\nask the Snooping Bug, when all of a sudden somebody bumped into him and\nhe turned to see a tall, slim fellow in a pink uniform with his hands\nfull of letters which he had been reading as he walked along. Over one\nshoulder hung a leather bag which was crammed with other letters still\nin their envelopes, and on his head was a cap with a tassel and on the\nfront of the cap it said \"postman.\"\n\n\"What do you mean,\" cried the stranger, sternly, \"by interfering with\nthe mails? Can't you see I'm on government duty?\"\n\n\"Oh, excuse me,\" said Pranc, \"I didn't mean to bump you, and I wouldn't\nhave done it if you hadn't been reading those letters as you walked\nalong.\"\n\n\"Indeed,\" said the postman, \"well if I didn't read some of the letters\nas I walked about delivering them I don't know what I _would_ do. I\ncan't read _all_ of 'em at night, you know.\"\n\n\"But,\" said the Prince, \"they are not your letters, are they?\"\n\n\"Of course not,\" said the postman, testily, \"who would write me\nall this lot of letters? They belong to the different citizens of\nSnoopania.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" said the Prince, \"you don't read other people's letters, I hope.\"\n\n\"Well,\" retorted the postman, opening his eyes very wide, \"I should\nhope I did. If I didn't I'd lose my job. Every letter must be torn open\nand read, and every postal card must not only be read but committed to\nmemory. I could shut my eyes right now and tell you what I've read on\na million postal cards only I haven't the time. This is the way of it,\nyou see:\n\n    A postman's life is a busy one,\n    His working hours are never done,\n    For all of the letters the public writes\n    He has to read at home at nights;\n    And all of the postals, yes, sir-ee,\n    He has to commit to memoree.\n    And so if you think I'm cross a bit\n    You'll know my job is the cause of it.\n\nAs he finished he suddenly noticed the Snooping Bug. \"For mercy's\nsake,\" he exclaimed, \"when did you get back? I thought the Fairy\nGodmother had you bottled up.\"\n\n\"She did,\" said the Snooping Bug, \"but thanks to this noble boy I'm out\nagain. Where can I find the First Lord of the Keyhole? I want to make\narrangements for parliament to reward my rescuer.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the postman, \"I think he's at his office right now, if you\nhurry.\"\n\nSo, after bidding the postman good-by, the Snooping Bug hurried Pranc\noff to the office of the First Lord of the Keyhole.\n\nSoon they reached Parliament House where the First Lord of the Keyhole\nhad his office, but when they tried to open the office door it seemed\nto stick. So Pranc gave it a push, and then a harder one, and all at\nonce it opened wide and the Prince and the Snooping Bug staggering into\nthe room saw in the middle of the floor a white-haired old gentleman\nlying on his back.\n\n\"Shut the door,\" commanded the old gentleman, scrambling to his feet.\n\"Now,\" he said, glaring at Pranc as he smoothed his clothing, \"I\nsuppose you know what you've done.\"\n\n\"No,\" said the Prince, \"what have I done?\" He looked at the old\ngentleman and then at the Snooping Bug. The old gentleman was very red\nin the face and the Snooping Bug seemed to be dreadfully worried. He\ntook Pranc into a corner and whispered in his ear.\n\n\"Don't be frightened,\" he said, rather hoarsely, \"but you upset a peer\nof the realm when you opened the door. He was peering through the\nkeyhole at you before he said 'Come in,' and you should have peered\nthrough the keyhole at him before you did come in. I don't know whether\nI can get you off or not. I ought to have warned you.\"\n\n\"You certainly ought,\" said the Prince. \"How was I to know he was at\nthe keyhole? It seems a very queer thing for an old gentleman like that\nto do.\"\n\n\"Not at all,\" put in the old gentleman. \"Ain't I the First Lord of\nthe Keyhole and head of the House of Peers? And don't all the Peers of\nSnoopania peer through keyholes? Eh?\"\n\n\"I don't know,\" said Pranc.\n\n\"Well, they do,\" continued the old gentleman, \"the same as the members\nof the House of Commons _listen_ at keyholes. Where have you been all\nyour life, anyway?\"\n\nAnd then the Prince told him where his home was and how the Snooping\nBug had brought him to Snoopania. \"But,\" he added, \"I think I'd like to\ngo back, if you don't mind.\"\n\n\"Oh, come now,\" put in the Snooping Bug, \"you've only just arrived.\" He\nturned to the First Lord of the Keyhole. \"I think he's worried for fear\nyou're going to have him punished for knocking you over. Are you?\"\n\n\"Certainly,\" snapped the First Lord of the Keyhole. \"The dignity of the\npeerage must be maintained.\"\n\n\"Well, I don't think it's fair,\" said the Snooping Bug, hotly.\n\n\"Of course it isn't fair,\" retorted the old gentleman. \"We never do\nanything fair in Snoopania. You know that. If we did we wouldn't snoop,\nwould we?\"\n\nThen he clapped his hands and six very jolly looking gentlemen entered\nin a single file. \"This is the Committee on Extermination,\" said the\nFirst Lord of the Keyhole, turning to the Prince. \"The Chairman will\narrange the details of your execution.\"\n\n\"With pleasure,\" said the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, who\nwas the jolliest looking man of them all. Then he patted Pranc on the\nhead and asked in a kindly tone _when_ he would like to have his head\ncut off.\n\n\"What!\" exclaimed the Prince, with a startled expression.\n\n\"_When_,\" repeated the Chairman, \"would you like your head cut off?\"\n\n\"_Never_,\" shouted Pranc, as loud as he could.\n\n\"Never,\" repeated the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, looking\nrather pained. \"Oh, but I say that won't do at all. You _must_ fix a\ntime. We can't cut your head off unless you do. It wouldn't be legal.\"\n\n\"Indeed,\" said Pranc, with a sigh of relief. \"Well, I'm very glad to\nhear it.\"\n\nAnd though every member of the Committee on Extermination argued with\nhim, and the First Lord of the Keyhole shook his fist at him and\nsputtered like a fire-cracker, he simply would _not_ say when he would\nlike his head cut off.\n\n\"Well,\" said the First Lord of the Keyhole to the Chairman of the\nExterminating Committee, \"we'll have to appeal to the King about the\nmatter. This boy doesn't know what he wants.\"\n\n\"Oh, yes, he does,\" said the Snooping Bug.\n\n\"He does _not_,\" thundered the First Lord of the Keyhole.\n\n\"He does, too,\" retorted the Snooping Bug, \"and if you see the King,\nwe'll see him, too.\"\n\nSo everybody started off for the palace and never stopped until they\nstood outside the monarch's sitting-room. \"Wait a moment,\" said the\nChairman of the Exterminating Committee, \"until I see whether he\nis busy.\" Whereupon he put his eye to the keyhole. \"Yes,\" he said,\nstraightening up again, \"he is quite busy snooping under his bathroom\ndoor.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Pranc, \"what's the use of that?\"\n\n\"What's the use of anything?\" snapped the First Lord of the Keyhole.\n\"Practice makes perfect, and the more you snoop the better you can do\nit. The King of Snoopania does not believe in wasting his time, sir.\"\n\nAnd sure enough the monarch did not, for when they opened the door and\nwent in, he had his head in the fireplace.\n\n\"Oh, how do you do,\" he said, pulling it out again.\n\n\"Are you very much engaged?\" inquired the Chairman of the Exterminating\nCommittee.\n\n\"Well,\" said the King, \"I only just got through with the bathroom and\nI did want to finish the chimney this morning, sure, but it doesn't\nmatter. What is it?\"\n\n\"This boy,\" said the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, \"is to\nhave his head cut off but he won't say when. He doesn't know what he\nwants, so we'd like to know if you know.\"\n\n\"Of course he doesn't know,\" put in Pranc, impatiently. \"I'm the only\none who knows. And besides what is the use of asking a king who spends\nhis time peeking up chimneys? I never heard of a king doing such a\nthing.\"\n\nWell, if the Prince had walked up to the monarch and boxed his ears\nhe could not have astonished him or the rest of the party more. For a\nmoment no one said anything, they just looked at each other in horror,\nand then the King turned red, white and blue in the face with rage.\n\n\"You--you--you--\" he bawled, glaring at Pranc, \"you're an imitation\nsnooper. You don't know the first principles of snooping. What are you\ndoing in Snoopania anyway?\" Then he yelled for his soldiers to come and\ncut the Prince's head off at once--at once. He repeated it twice so\nthey would not misunderstand.\n\nBut the Prince did not wait to see whether they understood or not,\nno sir-ee. He was thoroughly disgusted with snooping, snoopers and\nSnoopania, and determined to get back to his Fairy Godmother's cottage\nat once if it could possibly be done. So when the King's soldiers\nentered the room to seize him he waited until they came very near,\nand then he twisted the ring the Fairy Godmother had given him, and\nbing--flat on their backs the soldiers fell, bumping their heads like\nanything.\n\n\"Good-by,\" cried Pranc, waving his hand to the Snooping Bug, \"I'm going\nhome.\"\n\n\"Wait,\" shouted the Snooping Bug, \"I'll go with you.\"\n\n\"No,\" replied the Prince, \"I've had quite enough of snoopers and\nsnooping bugs. You stay where you are.\"\n\nThen he jumped over the prostrate soldiers and out the door of the\npalace. Up the street he ran until he met the postman. \"Where's the\nelevator?\" he panted.\n\n\"Straight ahead,\" replied the postman, \"but if you'll wait a moment\nI'll tell you what was on some of those postal cards I spoke about.\"\n\n\"I can't,\" said Pranc, \"the King's soldiers are after me. I'd like to,\nbut--\"\n\n\"Yah!\" With a shout a whole regiment of the King's soldiers rushed\naround the corner and made a grab at him, but quick as a wink Pranc\ntwisted the Fairy Godmother's ring once more, and bing--over went the\nsoldiers on their backs and hit their heads bang, and by the time they\nwere able to sit up and rub the bumps, the Prince had reached the\nelevator. \"Up,\" he shouted, and up the elevator went with a leap, and a\nmoment later stopped inside the preserve closet.\n\n\"My!\" said Pranc, as he opened the closet door and stood once more in\nthe Fairy Godmother's cottage, \"my, but I'm glad to be back.\"\n\nThen he went out on the front porch where the Fairy Godmother was\nsitting in a rocking chair knitting, and told her all that had happened\nto him.\n\n\"I'm not surprised,\" said the Fairy Godmother. \"When I got back from\nthe christening and found that the Snooping Bug had disappeared and you\nalso, I knew you had done something you should not have, and that you\nwere probably having a time of it.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Prince, \"and if it had not been for your ring I would\nhave had a worse time. I'm awfully sorry I lost your Snooping Bug.\"\n\n\"Oh, that's all right,\" said the Fairy Godmother. \"Any time you'd like\nto borrow my Crying Bug or my Sulking Bug, just help yourself.\"\n\n\"No-thank-you,\" replied Prince. \"_NO-thank-you!_ No more bugs for me.\"\n\n\n\n\n                            THE WRONG JACK\n\n\nThere are lots and lots of boys named Jack and some of them have been\nquite celebrated, like the Jack who planted the famous beanstalk. But\nthe Jack this story is about was just a bright, jolly little fellow who\nlived in a country home with his father and mother, and who had never\nhad any adventures more exciting than catching minnows in the creek or\ngetting stung by a hornet in the garden.\n\nAnd so you may be sure he was very much surprised to find himself in a\nterrific fix one summer morning as he was digging for worms back of the\nbarn where a wild grapevine grew. And this is how it happened.\n\nEvery time he wanted to go fishing he always dug for worms in the same\nplace, and as a consequence he had made quite a deep hole, but of\ncourse he never thought anything about _that_. Or at least he did\nnot until his spade struck something hard and a rumbling voice said:\n\"Ouch!\" And then the ground under his feet began to heave and heave,\nand before he could gather his wits and run away, out of the hole came\na giant, head first and scowling like anything. And even then Jack\ndid not run--he was too frightened. He just stayed where he was and\ntrembled.\n\n[Illustration: Out of the hole came a giant]\n\n\"So,\" said the giant, rubbing a lump over his left eyebrow, \"you're the\nchap who thumped me, eh? What do you mean by such actions?\"\n\n\"Noth--noth--nothing,\" stammered Jack. \"I--I--I didn't know you were in\nthere. I--I--I was digging for worms.\"\n\n\"I don't believe it,\" growled the giant. \"You were digging to find out\nif I was dead. Well, I'm not, even if my fall did drive me underground.\nAnd now I'll thank you to hand over my magic harp, and my money bags,\nand my hen that lays the golden eggs.\"\n\n\"I--I--I don't know what you're talking about,\" said Jack. \"I haven't\ngot your harp, or your hen, or your money bags. All I've got is a can\nof worms and a fishing line. You must have mistaken me for somebody\nelse.\"\n\n\"Hum!\" said the giant, looking at him sharply, \"well, maybe I have.\nWhat is your name?\"\n\n\"Jack,\" answered the boy.\n\n\"Jack,\" bellowed the giant. \"Did you say Jack?\"\n\n\"Why--why, yes,\" replied our hero. \"What--what of it?\"\n\n\"What of it?\" repeated the monster, \"why everything of it. You tell\nme your name is Jack and yet you say you don't know anything about my\nharp, or my hen, or my money bags. I suppose you'll say next you didn't\ncut down the beanstalk and almost make me break my neck?\"\n\n\"Never,\" shouted Jack, \"I never did. I never had a beanstalk. It was\nthat other Jack in the story. You needn't blame it on me.\"\n\nAnd he said it so earnestly the giant hesitated. \"Well,\" he grumbled,\nscratching his head and frowning at the boy, \"I may be wrong but it\nseems very queer that your name should be Jack also. And it seems even\nqueerer that you should be digging in the exact spot where I fell down\nthe beanstalk. Hang it all, I don't know what to think.\" Then suddenly\nhe clapped his hands together like thunder. \"I know what I'll do, I'll\ntake you back home and ask my wife. She has a wonderful memory for\nfaces and she can tell if any one can.\" And with that he caught up Jack\nand commenced to climb the grapevine.\n\n\"Oh,\" cried the boy, peering out of the pocket where the giant had\ntucked him, \"this isn't a beanstalk, this is a grapevine and it isn't\nvery strong. You'll have another fall if you don't look out.\"\n\n\"I can't help it,\" said the giant, \"I must find my wife.\"\n\nAnd he went on climbing, and climbing, and climbing, which much\nsurprised Jack for he had no idea the grapevine was so high, and he\nhad thought sure it would break when the giant got upon it. But it\ndid nothing of the sort, and at last they came to the end and found\nthemselves standing before the giant's house.\n\n\"Now,\" said the giant, \"we'll soon find out whether you're the wrong\nJack or not.\"\n\nBut when they reached the front door he gave a shout, for there he saw\na sign which said:\n\n                                TO LET\n\nand found that all the shutters were shut and not a soul about.\n\n\"Zounds!\" yelled the monster, \"what _is_ the matter, and where is\neverybody? And what does 'to let' mean?\"\n\n\"Why,\" said Jack, crawling out of the giant's pocket and sliding down\nhis leg to the ground, \"I think it means that your house is for rent to\nanybody that wants it. Your wife must have moved away.\"\n\n\"What?\" bawled the giant, \"my wife gone and my house left for any one\nthat wants it? Oh, wait until I catch her!\"\n\nThen he stamped his feet and tore his beard, and carried on something\ndreadfully, until he had to sit down on the grass to get his breath.\n\n\"Well,\" he said, after a pause, \"the only thing to do is to hunt until\nwe find her, for I can't find out whether you're the wrong Jack until\nshe sees you. So come along and we'll see if the neighbors can tell us\nanything.\"\n\nWhereupon he set off across the country with Jack running by his side\nuntil presently they came to a tumble-down cottage.\n\n\"Here is where Goog, the ogress lives,\" said the giant. \"She belonged\nto the same sewing circle as my wife so maybe she knows where she is.\"\nAnd he knocked at the cottage door.\n\n\"Why, hello, Blunderbuss!\" exclaimed the ogress, smiling a very bristly\nsort of a smile as she answered the summons. \"Where did you come from?\nI thought you were dead.\"\n\n\"Indeed,\" said Blunderbuss, \"and I suppose my wife thought the same\nthing and that is the reason she has locked up my house and marked it\n'to let.'\"\n\n\"Exactly,\" replied Goog. \"She waited and waited after you fell down the\nbeanstalk and then decided you had broken your neck. So she closed the\nhouse, sold the family jewels to get spending money, and then started\nout to enjoy herself for once in her life.\"\n\n\"Started out to enjoy herself,\" repeated the giant. \"That's a nice way\nfor a lady to act when she thinks her husband has broken his neck. And\nwhere is she now, pray?\"\n\n\"I couldn't say,\" replied the ogress. \"Seeing as we belonged to the\nsame sewing circle I invited her here, but she just sniffed and said\nshe had no use for the lower classes now, so I guess she is cutting up\nhigh jinks somewhere.\"\n\n\"Scandalous!\" said the giant, \"but I am not going to give up searching\nuntil I find her, for I want to know whether this boy is the one who\nplanted the beanstalk and took my things. He says his name is Jack, but\nbeyond that I can't be sure, but I think my wife could tell the moment\nshe saw him, she has such a fine memory. Good morning.\"\n\nSo they bade the ogress good-by and resumed their travels until\npresently, as they rounded a bend in the road, they saw before them a\ntowering castle of brass, all gleaming in the sun.\n\n\"This,\" said Blunderbuss, \"is the house of the Duke of Dishwater,\nand I'm going to see if my wife is here, for although he is very,\nvery swell, he is also very, very poor, and it is quite possible that\nMrs. Blunderbuss with all that spending money, has been able to break\nthrough his reserve and get invited for the week end.\"\n\nWith that he struck the castle gate a blow with his fist and it swung\nopen admitting them to a huge courtyard where the Duke, an exceedingly\nhaughty looking gentleman with a Roman nose and a ruff about his neck,\nstood waiting for them.\n\n\"How do you do?\" cried the giant, \"is my wife here? If she is I'll pull\nyour castle up by the roots and twirl it around my head. If she isn't,\nI'll have to hunt elsewhere. Hurry up, say what you've got to say. I\nhave no time to lose.\"\n\n\"Why--why--well--well--\" stammered the Duke, \"I--I--I think under the\ncircumstances I had better say she is _not_ here.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said the giant, \"then I'll be trotting along, but I'll\nleave this boy with you. Put him in your safe deposit box, for when I\nfind my wife I'll have need of him.\"\n\nThen kicking the gate open again he strode through it and down the road\nout of sight.\n\nFor a moment the Duke of Dishwater looked at Jack, and Jack looked at\nthe Duke of Dishwater. After which the nobleman took off his wig and\nmopped his head nervously with his handkerchief. \"My, my,\" he said,\nfretfully, \"whoever heard of pulling one's castle up by the roots.\nWretched taste, I call it.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Jack, \"he won't do it if Mrs. Blunderbuss isn't here.\"\n\n\"Quite so,\" said the Duke, \"but Mrs. Blunderbuss _is_ here. She has\nbeen visiting us for a week.\"\n\n\"Then,\" said Jack, severely, \"you told a fib.\"\n\n\"Not a regular fib, no sir-ee,\" replied the Duke, \"I only said 'under\nthe circumstances' I had better say she wasn't here, so he wouldn't\npull my castle up. And now the next thing is to see she isn't here when\nhe comes back. Excuse me.\"\n\nWith that he rushed indoors and yelled for _his_ wife to tell the\ngiant's wife to pack up her things and go away right off.\n\nBut when the Duchess told Mrs. Blunderbuss as politely as she could\nthat it was time for her to go home, the giant's wife was perfectly\nfurious.\n\n\"Never in all my life have I been so insulted,\" she cried. \"The idea of\ninviting a person to pay you a visit and then telling her to go home.\nWell, I'm not going to do it. I'll stay here whether you want me or\nnot.\"\n\n\"But,\" said the Duke of Dishwater, \"you don't understand. Your husband\nis hunting for you and if he finds you here he'll pull my castle up by\nthe roots.\"\n\n\"What do I care about your old castle,\" snapped Mrs. Blunderbuss. \"And\nanyway, he couldn't because he's deader than a doornail; so there.\"\n\n\"Oh, no, he isn't,\" put in Jack. \"You may think he is, but he isn't.\nThat fall down the beanstalk only stunned him.\"\n\nAnd then he told the giant's wife how he had dug Blunderbuss out and\nhow the giant had brought him back because he thought that Jack was\nthe boy who had run off with his property. \"And,\" went on the boy, \"he\nwon't believe I am the wrong Jack until you tell him so. And of course\nyou can see I am the wrong Jack, can't you?\"\n\n\"Maybe I can, and maybe I can't,\" said Mrs. Blunderbuss, crossly.\n\"Anyway it's your fault he has come back and that's enough for me to\nworry about without worrying to remember whether you're the wrong Jack\nor the right one, I reckon.\"\n\nAnd having made that announcement she marched upstairs to her room with\nher nose in the air.\n\n\"My gracious,\" gasped Jack, \"if that isn't the meanest thing I ever\nheard of.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the Duke, \"you needn't scowl at me. 'Taint my fault!\"\n\nThen, taking out his snuff box, the Duke of Dishwater helped himself to\na generous pinch and marched upstairs with _his_ nose in the air.\n\nWell, as you can see, this left Jack in a very unhappy frame of mind,\nfor how in the world was he ever going to get back home unless he could\nprove to Blunderbuss that he was not the Jack who had planted the\nbeanstalk? And the more he thought about the matter the more perplexing\nit seemed, so finally he decided to run away and try to find the place\nwhere the grapevine grew up to the giant's house, and then climb down\nit quickly before the giant came back.\n\nSo when the Duke called downstairs to tell him to hurry and get in the\nsafe deposit box, he said \"all right,\" but instead of going upstairs\nhe slipped out the front door into the courtyard. Then, while the\nman-at-arms on guard was busily talking to one of the scullery maids,\nhe softly unbolted the gate and ran off as fast as he could. All that\nday he traveled back over the road he had come with the giant, and\nthen when he reached the cottage of Goog, the ogress, although he knew\nit was very dangerous to do so, he could not resist peeking in at the\nwindow. And there she was, uglier than ever, stirring the big pot over\nthe fire and singing in a horrible cracked voice: and this is what she\nsang:\n\n    Oh, Jack, he took the money bags\n      I don't know where they are.\n    And Jack he took the giant's harp\n      And carried it afar.\n    And Jack he took the magic hen\n      But when it was unloosed,\n    It did what every chicken does,\n      It came back home to roost.\n\n    And when I want some golden eggs--\n      (Real solid gold--I weigh 'em)\n    I go to Blunderbuss's house\n      And get his hen to lay 'em.\n\nAnd then chuckling, she put on her bonnet, and took her stick and\ncame out of her cottage door, not noticing Jack peering around the\ncorner. And away she went over the hill to the giant's house. When she\ngot there she pulled open a shutter and climbed in, after which she\nscattered corn over the floor, and presently into the room scampered\nthe magic hen and after it had eaten the corn it began to lay one\ngolden egg after the other until the ogress had her apron full.\nAnd Jack, watching through the shutter, was awfully astonished and\nunderstood what she meant by singing about chickens coming home to\nroost. Evidently the stolen hen had come back and no one knew it but\nGoog, and she was getting rich on the eggs it laid.\n\n\"My,\" said Jack to himself, \"wouldn't the giant be mad if he knew?\"\n\nSo when the ogress had gone back to her cottage to put away her golden\neggs, Jack pulled open the shutter and climbed into the room where the\nmagic hen was going about clucking proudly because she had laid so many\neggs. And before the hen knew what was going to happen he grabbed her,\ntucked her under his arm, climbed out of the window again and ran off\nto see if he could find where the grapevine was.\n\n\"Gee whiz!\" he chuckled, \"if I can only get home with this hen we'll be\nso rich my father won't have to work again. We can have automobiles and\nsteam yachts and everything.\"\n\nAnd then all of a sudden he remembered that the hen did not belong to\nhim and that if he took it he would be stealing, so after thinking\nover the matter a moment he decided it would not do and turned back to\nthe giant's house to replace what he had taken. But before he had gone\nhalf way he heard a trampling sound and saw the giant coming toward him\ncarrying the Duke's castle in his hand with the roots of it dragging on\nthe ground, and with the Duke, and the Duchess, and Mrs. Blunderbuss\nhanging out of the windows, wailing and wringing their hands.\n\nQuick as a wink Jack thrust the hen beneath his blouse, and presently\nthe giant stood towering over him.\n\n\"So,\" shouted Blunderbuss, dropping the castle to the ground with a\nbang, \"you ran away, did you? Well, now, I think I'll give every one\nof you to the ogress to put in her pot. And I think,\" he continued,\nlooking at Jack more closely, \"that you'll please her especially, for\nyou certainly are fatter than when I saw you last.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said Jack, feeling dreadfully frightened, but trying his\nbest not to show it, \"do as you like, but if you do you'll be sorry,\nfor I know where your magic hen is and I shan't tell you if you give me\nto the ogress.\"\n\n\"Well,\" shouted the giant, \"where is my hen?\"\n\nAnd then Jack told him how he had followed the ogress and watched her\ntake the golden eggs, and maybe the giant was not furious when he heard\n_that_.\n\n\"Right in my own house,\" he bellowed. \"Well, it won't take me long to\nget my hen _now_.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" said Jack, coolly, \"your hen isn't there. I took her away and hid\nher, and when you let me go home, and when you forgive your wife, and\nwhen you replant the castle, I'll give her back, but not before.\"\n\nAnd having said that, he remarked \"ho, hum,\" whirled about on his heel\nand whistled carelessly as though he did not care whether the giant\naccepted his offer or not, but of course he did care, and so did the\nDuke, and his wife, and Mrs. Blunderbuss, but when they saw Jack let\non that _he_ did not care, they let on, too, and said \"ho, hum\" and\nwhirled about and whistled, too.\n\nAnd of course when the giant noticed that apparently nobody cared a\nwhoop what he did or what he did not do, he did just what they wanted\nhim to do, and promised everything Jack asked, in order to get back his\nmagic hen.\n\n\"Very good,\" said Jack, \"then here she is.\" And opening his blouse he\npulled out the giant's property and handed it to him.\n\n\"Ho, ho,\" growled the giant, \"so that's what made you so fat, eh? Well,\nI suppose there's nothing to do but to tell you where the grapevine is.\"\n\n\"All you have to do,\" he said, \"is to climb straight down and you'll be\nhome in ten minutes, but before you start I wish you would come with\nme to the ogress's cottage so I can have proof when I accuse her of\nstealing the golden eggs my hen laid.\"\n\nSo Jack, and the Duke and the Duchess, and Mr. and Mrs. Blunderbuss\nhurried off to where Goog lived, and the giant, pointing to Jack, told\nthe ogress what the boy had seen.\n\n\"And now,\" he bawled, angrily, \"you'll just hand back those eggs and\nhand 'em back quick.\"\n\n\"Dear me,\" replied the ogress, \"I'm awfully sorry, but they're all in\nthe pot boiling. Look in and you can see for yourself.\"\n\nAnd when the giant bent over the sizzling pot she gave him a push and\nin he went head over heels. \"Ouch!\" he roared, trying to jump out of\nthe scalding water.\n\n\"No, you don't,\" shrieked Goog.\n\nBut when she tried to push him back he grabbed her and bing--into the\npot went the ogress also, and in about four minutes both the giant and\nthe ogress were stewing and steaming, and boiling, and that was the end\nof them.\n\nAnd when Jack saw that, he thought it was time for him to leave, so he\nstole away to where the grapevine grew and climbed down it as quickly\nas he could. And you may be sure when he got to the bottom he took the\nax and chopped down the grapevine just like the other Jack chopped down\nthe beanstalk.\n\n\n\n\n                       THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS\n\n\nNo doubt you will think this story begins in a very strange place when\nyou learn that it starts on board a Chinese junk or ship, as it sailed\nup a muddy Chinese river on its way to the city of Ki Yi.\n\nNow most Chinese ships are dingy and dirty but this particular junk\nwas just the opposite. Its sails were new, its decks neat and clean,\nand all because it carried a mandarin of high rank on his way to a\nwedding feast in the distant town. Very fat this mandarin was, and\nvery smiling, and the wedding presents he carried were enormously\nvaluable--gold and silver, and silks and jewels--packed away in his\ncabin; and the sight of them made the mouths of the captain and crew\nwater. So finally the sailors and their commander determined to throw\nthe mandarin overboard and take the presents for themselves.\n\nHowever, as Chinese people are always polite, no matter what the\ncircumstances, instead of going below and seizing him without another\nword, they sent the cabin boy, Dong, down with a note requesting the\npleasure of the mandarin's presence on deck at once and expressing\ntheir deep regret that they would have to put an end to him.\n\n\"Ahem!\" remarked the mandarin, as he finished reading the note, \"how\nvery kind of them.\"\n\nThen looking over his horn spectacles he examined Dong, the cabin boy,\nas he stood before him. \"I'm awfully sorry,\" he said, \"that a boy like\nyou--you can't be more than seven--and such a nice looking boy, too,\nshould join in such a wicked conspiracy. How would you like to be\ndrowned?\"\n\nDong shook his head. \"I wouldn't like it,\" he said.\n\n\"No more do I,\" replied the mandarin, \"and yet, unless you save me, I\nshall be.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Dong, \"how can I save you? I would if I could, but I am\nonly a boy.\"\n\n\"That makes no difference,\" said the mandarin; \"if you are a brave boy,\nyou can do it.\"\n\nThen he handed Dong a large fan and told him to go up on deck and fan\nthe captain and the crew with three big sweeps and they would dissolve\nlike mist. \"I'd do it myself,\" he continued, \"but I'm afraid they'd\nseize me before I could get a chance to do it and throw me overboard.\nBut of course they will not suspect you.\"\n\nSo Dong, trembling with excitement, took the fan and climbed the ladder\nto the deck.\n\n\"Well,\" asked the captain of the junk, \"is the mandarin coming?\"\n\n\"No,\" replied Dong, opening the fan with a jerk, \"he is not. He\ndeclines your invitation and says he prefers to remain in his cabin\nwith the wedding presents.\"\n\n\"Oh, he does, does he!\" bawled the captain. \"That's what we get for\nbeing polite.\"\n\nThen he shouted for the crew to follow him and started for the\nmandarin's cabin, but Dong, all ready with the fan open, quickly\nstepped in front of him, gave three big sweeps, and pish! the captain\nand the entire crew of the junk disappeared completely.\n\n\"Gracious!\" gasped the boy, closing the fan quickly for fear he might\nfan himself, \"wasn't that awful?\" Then he ran down to the cabin and\ntold the mandarin what he had done.\n\n\"Ah,\" exclaimed the mandarin, in a tone of great satisfaction, rubbing\nhis hands together, \"I'm very glad to hear it, and I'm sure they are\nbetter off where they are, wherever they are. And now let me have my\nfan back, please.\"\n\nAnd then the moment he got his fan back he stood up very straight and\nrapped the palm of his right hand once with it, and to Dong's amazement\nthere appeared at his right side another man exactly like him. Then he\nrapped the palm of his left hand twice and there appeared at his left\nside another man exactly like him. Whereupon the three men bowed to\neach other affably and then shook hands.\n\n\"Permit me,\" said the mandarin, \"to introduce my two brothers, Sin\nSum Tu and Sin Sum Wen. My name is Sin Sum. And while I am explaining\nthings to you let me say that I am _not_ a mandarin; that I am _not_\non my way to a wedding; and that the goods I have are _not_ wedding\npresents.\"\n\n\"What,\" exclaimed Dong, \"not a mandarin and not going to a wedding?\nThen what are you?\"\n\n\"I--that is, we,\" replied the supposed mandarin, \"are the Second Story\nBrothers, the cleverest porch climbers in China. In other words we are\nrobbers, and famous ones, too. Why we've even written a song about\nourselves. It goes like this.\" Throwing back his head he sang and his\nbrothers joined in:\n\n              The sailor sings of the ocean blue,\n              For that is the proper thing to do.\n              The soldier sings of the battles fought\n              With a hip hurrah as a soldier ought.\n              But, oh, our song it beats all others--\n              The song of the Second Story Brothers--\n              And this is the way the ditty closes\n              As we sing it softly through our noses:\n\n    Look out for your money bags and diamond studded pin, sir.\n    Look out, for the outlook is that some night we'll look in, sir.\n    Ask your fathers what to do, or better, ask your mothers.\n    Be prepared to guard against the Second Story Brothers.\n\n\"Well,\" said Dong, when they had finished, \"I think it was a very mean\ntrick you played on me. See what I did to the captain and the crew\nbecause I thought you were a mandarin and they were going to rob you.\nAnd here you are, a robber yourself.\"\n\n\"Quite true,\" said Sin Sum, \"I admit it was a mean trick, but no meaner\nthan the captain was going to play on me. And as for yourself you can\nhave a much better job with us than you had before.\"\n\nAnd with that he told Dong that when the junk got to Ki Yi they were\ngoing to stay on it in the day time and at night they would rob the\nhouses of the wealthy people. \"And all you will have to do,\" he\ncontinued, \"is to remain in the cabin and sell the stolen property we\nbring you, to the various customers that call. Now how does that strike\nyou, my boy?\"\n\n\"No, sir,\" replied Dong, \"I shall not do it. I may be only a cabin\nboy, but I'm an honest one. I have no desire to become a robber.\"\n\n\"But listen,\" put in the other two Second Story Brothers, \"think how\nfamous you may get to be. And if you should get caught and be beheaded,\nthey'd put your picture on souvenir postals, perhaps.\"\n\n\"I don't care,\" said Dong, \"I'd rather make my living some other way.\"\n\n\"Well, you're not going to do it,\" snapped Sin Sum, angrily. \"You're\ngoing to make your living with us, and we're not going to coax you any\nlonger, either. And if you try to run away I'll fan you into nothing\nlike you did the captain and the crew.\"\n\nSo Dong had no choice but to join the robbers, and the next night after\nthe vessel got to Ki Yi, Sin Sum made him go with him on a looting\nexpedition.\n\n\"I just want to show you how it is done,\" he said, \"in case one of us\ngets sick or something, so you can take his place.\"\n\nThen he led the way ashore and presently Dong found himself standing\nbefore a handsome building surrounded by a high wall. \"This is the\nViceroy's palace,\" said Sin Sum, \"and I am going to steal the family\njewels.\"\n\n\"But how will you get over the wall?\" inquired the boy.\n\n\"Oh, that's easy,\" replied Sin Sum. \"All I have to do is to fan a hole\nin it.\"\n\nSo taking out his fan he waved it three times and instantly part of\nthe wall melted away. And then after they had passed through the gap\nhe fanned another hole in the front door, and in a jiffy they were\nupstairs in the Viceroy's bedroom.\n\n\"Of course,\" said the robber, \"when there is a porch I prefer to climb\nto the top of it as a second story man should, but when there is none I\njust fan my way in.\"\n\nBy this time he had fanned most of the bureau drawers open and in a\nmoment more had found the family jewels. Then having found them, he\nfanned them also, and pish! they disappeared, case and all.\n\n\"Goodness,\" exclaimed Dong, \"now you _have_ done it. What did you\ndissolve them for?\"\n\nSin Sum chuckled. \"Wait till we get back to the boat and I'll show you.\"\n\nAs he spoke the Viceroy and his wife began to toss about in their bed\nand it was evident that the conversation was beginning to awaken them.\n\n\"Quick,\" said Dong, \"let's get out or they'll catch us.\"\n\n\"Huh!\" said Sin Sum, \"they'd better not. If they wake up and make any\nfuss, I'll give them a fanning they won't forget.\"\n\nAnd no doubt he would have dissolved the regal couple without the\nslightest hesitation if Dong had not coaxed him out of the palace and\nback to the junk.\n\nWhen they got there they found that Sin Sum's two brothers, who had\nalso been out burglaring, had arrived before them.\n\n\"Now,\" said Sin Sum, \"let's count up what we got to-night.\"\n\nTaking a little book from beneath his sash he turned the pages.\n\"H--I--J--jewels,\" he said. \"Let's see how many raps for jewels. Ah,\nhere it is, seven raps for jewels.\"\n\nThen he rapped the palm of his hand seven times with his fan and the\nnext moment he was holding the casket containing the Viceroy's precious\nstones.\n\nThen he turned to his brother Sin Sum Tu. \"What did you get?\" he asked.\n\n\"Gold, and lots of it,\" answered Sin Sum Tu.\n\nSo Sin Sum looked in the book and found that it took five raps to\nproduce gold, whereupon Sin Sum Tu rapped _his_ hand with _his_ fan\nfive times, and a big pile of gold poured into it and spilled over on\nthe floor of the cabin.\n\n\"Now, Sin Sum Wen,\" said Sin Sum, \"it's your turn. What have you got?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Sin Sum Wen, \"I hate to tell you but I got nothing but\npies and cakes. I broke into a baker's shop thinking to rob his cash\ndrawer, but I guess business was bad, for the drawer was empty, but\nrather than come away without anything, I fanned all his pies and\ncakes, although you may not think it worth while to produce them.\"\n\n\"Oh, yes,\" said Sin Sum, \"they are better than nothing. We can eat them\nfor supper.\"\n\nThen he took his book and found that pies and cakes required eleven\nraps, and Sin Sum Wen rapped _his_ hand eleven times with _his_ fan and\nin about twenty seconds there were enough refreshments in the cabin to\nlast a week.\n\n\"Ah,\" said the Second Story Brothers, picking up the dainties and\npiling them on the table, \"now we _will_ have a feast.\"\n\nAnd with that they started in and ate, and ate, and ate; lemon pie,\napple pie, cocoanut pie, cherry pie, chocolate cake, cinnamon bun,\njelly cake; in fact every kind of pie and cake a baker makes, and in\nabout an hour each of them had about every kind of a stomach ache that\nevery kind of a pie and cake makes, and were rolling around howling\nwith pain.\n\nNow Dong, while he had eaten some of the goodies had not eaten much,\nfor not being very happy he was not very hungry, so he was not made ill\nlike the others. And presently as he saw that they paid no attention to\nhim, he decided that here was his chance to run away. So he slipped\nout of the cabin and over the side of the boat, and made off into the\ncity as fast as he could to the police station, for he knew when the\nViceroy woke up and found his family jewels gone, there would be an\nawful row. And if he showed the police where to find them the Viceroy\ncould not punish him for being with Sin Sum when he stole them.\n\nWhen he got to the police station, however, the officer at the door\ntold him that Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, was taking a nap and could\nnot be disturbed.\n\n\"But,\" cried Dong, \"I can show you how to catch the Second Story\nBrothers who have stolen the Viceroy's family jewels, if you will come\nwith me.\"\n\n\"What!\" shouted the officer, \"they stole the Viceroy's jewels?\"\n\nThen he ran off and wakened Ho Hum at once.\n\n\"Waugh!\" yawned the Chief of Police, \"what is this I hear? The Second\nStory Brothers have stolen the Viceroy's jewels and you will show us\nhow to catch them?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Dong, \"but you'd better hurry up before they find out that\nI have come to tell you about it.\"\n\nSo Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, and a number of his officers strapped\non their roller skates and with Dong hurried off to the boat where the\nSecond Story Brothers were just recovering from the effects of the\nstolen pies and cakes. And very pale and miserable they looked sitting\nagainst the cabin wall when the police burst in and confronted them.\n\n\"Surrender!\" shouted Ho Hum.\n\n\"Quick!\" cried Dong, \"take their fans from them or it will be the worse\nfor you.\"\n\nHo Hum, the Chief of Police, scowled. \"See here, boy,\" he said, \"are\nyou the Chief of Police or am I? The idea of telling me what to do!\nWhy, I was arresting folks before you were born.\"\n\n\"But,\" began Dong, \"won't you please listen, I--\"\n\n\"No,\" bawled the Chief of Police.\n\n\"Good for you, old sleepy head,\" shouted the Second Story Brothers.\n\nThen they leaped to their feet, gave three waves of their three fans,\nand pish!--Ho Hum and all of his officers disappeared.\n\n\"Now,\" said Sin Sum, grinning wickedly as he turned to Dong, \"we'll\nattend to you, my son. We'll teach you how to go off and tell the\npolice about us.\"\n\n\"Shall we fan him into nothing?\" asked Sin Sum Tu and Sin Sum Wen.\n\n\"Not yet,\" replied Sin Sum, \"not until I've laid him across my knee for\nabout five minutes and given him something to remember me by.\"\n\nWith that he made a rush for Dong, but Dong, half scared out of his\nwits, dived under the table, then behind the chairs here and there like\na squirrel, and Sin Sum, who was fat and short winded, could not catch\nhim. Then his two brothers joined in, but they were even fatter, and\nbesides the pies and cakes they had just stuffed had left them in no\ncondition to run a race, so do what they would they could not catch\nthe boy. And Dong, seeing that they could not, began to grow bolder,\nand presently, as Sin Sum made a violent grab at him he also made a\ngrab at Sin Sum and snatched his fan and his book from his sash. Then\nlike lightning he turned and whipped the fan open, gave three quick\nsweeps with it at the robbers, and pish!--they disappeared as neatly as\nthe police had, and Dong was left the sole occupant of the cabin.\n\n[Illustration: He turned and whipped the fan open]\n\n\"Gee whiz!\" he exclaimed, all out of breath, but nevertheless highly\npleased with himself, \"I did for them that time.\"\n\nThen he opened Sin Sum's producing book, found the page where it said\n\"police\" required four raps, and rapping the palm of his hand four\ntimes, Ho Hum and his officers appeared once more, looking rather pale\nand nervous after their strange experience.\n\n\"Well,\" said Dong to the Chief, \"I guess you wish you had done as I\ntold you and taken the fans away from those robbers.\"\n\nHo Hum rolled his eyes. \"Don't say a word,\" he replied. \"I feel like\narresting myself, missing such a fine chance to capture the Second\nStory Brothers. Dear me, I'm afraid I'll never catch them now.\"\n\n\"Oh, yes, you will,\" said Dong. \"Just you watch.\"\n\nWith that he struck the palm of his right hand once with Sin Sum's fan,\nand instantly at his right hand stood Sin Sum Tu, and the moment he\nappeared Dong snatched his fan from him. Then he rapped his left hand\nwith Sin Sum's fan twice and instantly at his left side stood Sin Sum\nWen, and Dong quickly snatched his fan also.\n\n\"Now,\" he said to the robbers, \"tell me how to produce Sin Sum or I'll\nfan you both into nothing again.\"\n\nSo the robbers told Dong to rap his forehead once with the fan and Sin\nSum would appear. And sure enough, the moment Dong rapped his forehead,\nthere before him stood Sin Sum. And the next moment Ho Hum and his\nofficers pounced on the Second Story Brothers and tied them securely.\n\nThen everybody set off for the Viceroy's palace, Dong carefully\ncarrying the stolen jewels. By the time they got there it was morning\nand the Viceroy and his wife having just come down to breakfast, were\nlistening to the butler tell them how the front door had a hole in it\nand that he guessed some one had been in the house the night before.\nBut not until Dong and the police and the Second Story Brothers entered\nthe dining room and Dong had handed over the jewels, did they know they\nhad been stolen.\n\n\"Suffering chopsticks!\" shouted the Viceroy; \"to think of my house\nbeing robbed. Some one shall suffer for this!\"\n\nAnd as he said that he looked straight at the Second Story Brothers,\nwhich made their knees knock together very much for they knew of course\nhe was talking about them, and they did not like the way he pronounced\nthe word \"suffer\" at all. Then having put the captured robbers in a\nfirst class uncomfortable frame of mind, the Viceroy turned to Ho Hum,\ngrasped him by the hand and called him a hero.\n\n\"Stop!\" interrupted the Chief of Police, \"I cannot let you say that.\nNo one enjoys being a hero more than I, but the blood of my truthful\nancestors compels me to state that the boy who stands before you is the\nonly hero in this affair. If it had not been for him the whole police\nforce would be nowhere.\"\n\nWhereupon he told the Viceroy how Dong had brought them back after the\nrobbers had made them disappear, and also brought the robbers back so\nthey could be arrested.\n\n\"Well, well,\" exclaimed the Viceroy, giving Dong a most admiring\nglance, \"if that isn't just like something you read about. If we only\nhad more boys like you in China, China might amount to something. Hum!\nHow would you like to be adopted?\"\n\n\"I shouldn't mind,\" replied Dong.\n\nSo right then and there the Viceroy of Ki Yi adopted Dong into his\nfamily, and told him if he minded his P's and Q's--particularly his\nQ's--he might be Viceroy himself some day.\n\nAnd the chances are if you visit China in the years to come you may\nfind that Dong _has_ become Viceroy, for you must admit that if he was\nsmart enough to put an end to the career of the Second Story Brothers,\nhe was certainly smart enough to become a Viceroy or even something\nbetter.\n\n\n\n\n                         THE IMAGINARY ISLAND\n\n\nOne morning the Emperor Fuss of Fizz sat on the front porch of his\npalace rocking impatiently back and forth. Evidently he was waiting for\nsomebody. By and by when he had rocked so many times his rocking chair\nwas beginning to squeak, the royal necromancer, Wist the Wise, an aged\ngentleman wearing a gorgeous gown of office, came hurrying up the royal\navenue.\n\n\"Ha!\" exclaimed the Emperor, \"so you've come at last, have you? It's\nlucky for you that I'm a good natured monarch.\"\n\n\"I'm awfully sorry to have kept you waiting, your majesty,\" replied the\nnecromancer, bowing low, \"but the commander-in-chief of your army had a\ntoothache, and I had to wish the tooth out for him and believe me, it\nwas some job.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the Emperor, \"you have a harder job than that before you.\nMy son, Prince Frip, has been reading about desert islands and insists\non having one at once to discover. So get to work, for as you know\nwhatever Frip wants he wants with all his might.\"\n\nAlas, Wist the Wise knew it only too well. A good part of his time he\nwas kept busy exercising his magic arts to provide amusement for Prince\nFrip, who was a very lively young person, and who got tired of a thing\nalmost as soon as he got it. As a consequence the wizard had often\nwished he might get rid of the boy forever, for he was afraid that some\nday Frip would ask for something he would be unable to give him, for\neven a magician has his limits. So this time the royal necromancer was\ndetermined to fix the Prince so he would not bother him any more.\n\n\"Did you say an island, your majesty?\" he inquired of the Emperor.\n\n\"I did,\" replied the monarch, \"and a desert island, too, with plenty of\nstrange and wonderful things on it to interest a boy. I want to keep\nFrip busy this time.\"\n\n\"So do I,\" said the wizard, grimly. \"But as you know, your majesty, the\nkingdom of Fizz is far inland, and desert islands are only found in\nthe sea. If you want desert islands, you must go where desert islands\nbloom.\"\n\n\"Oh, I must, must I?\" retorted the Emperor, angrily. \"Whom do you think\nyou're talking to? You have that desert island ready for Frip to play\nwith to-morrow morning, or I'll have you made into an Irish stew.\"\n\nThe royal necromancer shuddered. \"Well,\" he said, \"I'll do my best, but\nwhether you stew me or not, I simply cannot provide an out and out,\nreally true island. At the best it will only be an imaginary one. Will\nthat do?\"\n\n\"I don't care what it is,\" said the monarch, \"so long as the Prince can\nlose himself on it for a while and not bother me.\"\n\nSo the next morning when Prince Frip commenced to ask when he was going\nto get the desert island he had been wishing for, the Emperor was\nable to tell him he would have it that very day. And when the royal\nnecromancer made his appearance a short time afterward, the prediction\ncame true. Leading the Prince out upon the palace lawn, the wizard\nplaced him with his face towards the east. Then Wist the Wise rolled\nup the right sleeve of his gown and began whirling his arm around and\naround as though he was going to throw something. After he had done\nthis about a hundred times he stopped all of a sudden with his finger\npointing straight ahead of him, and told the Prince to look and tell\nhim what he saw.\n\nBut Prince Frip did not trouble to tell the royal necromancer anything.\nHe just gave one joyful yell and set off toward the pebbly beach that\nhad appeared in front of him. A beach flooded with sunshine and with\na shimmering sea beyond--blue in some spots and green in others--and\nwith a most delightfully mysterious looking island showing on the\nhorizon. Drawn up on the beach was a jaunty little sail boat. With\na vigorous push the Prince had the boat into deep water. Into the\ncraft he tumbled. Puff, puff, came a stiff and salty breeze. The\nsail flattened, the boat heeled over, and in a moment was cutting its\nway through the dancing waves with the Prince sitting at the rudder,\nsmiling as he had not smiled for many a day.\n\nBut had he known what the royal necromancer had done, he would have\nbeen frowning instead of smiling, for Wist the Wise when he told the\nEmperor that he could not provide a real island, had not spoken the\ntruth. If he had conjured up a _real_ island only _certain_ things\ncould have happened on it. But on the imaginary island which he had\nprovided, _anything_ could happen. And when _anything_ can happen there\nare bound to be some very strange adventures. And so the wizard felt\npretty sure that Frip would have a tough time before he got back again.\n\nHowever, the Prince, suspecting nothing, sat in the little sail boat\nas it went on and on, coming nearer and nearer to the island all the\nwhile, until finally he cast anchor in the prettiest little cove you\never saw, and taking off his shoes and stockings, waded ashore.\n\n\"My,\" he exclaimed, as he looked about, \"isn't this splendid!\"\n\nTo the right and left of him the beach stretched away in a glittering\ncurve. It looked as though it might be made of gold dust instead of\nsand, and the reason it looked that way was because it _was_ made of\ngold dust. Tons and tons of gold dust were there, enough to buy out the\ngreatest millionaire in the world. But the Prince did not know it, and\nif he had known it he would not have cared, he was too busy watching\na short, squatty looking man with a dark brown complexion, driving a\nstake into the beach a short distance away, on which was a sign:\n\n    +-------------+\n    | REAL ESTATE |\n    |LOTS FOR SALE|\n    +-------------+\n\nWhen the man had made the sign secure he turned about and saw Frip.\n\"Hello,\" he cried, coming toward him, \"when did you arrive?\"\n\n\"Just now,\" said Frip. \"There's my boat.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" said the man, \"so you came in a boat, eh? Very\ncommonplace--very. _I_ came on a Christmas tree.\"\n\nNow you may think it was decidedly queer for a person to say such a\nthing as that, but the Prince did not, because when he was close to the\nstranger he saw he was nothing more or less than a Gingerbread Man,\nalthough unusually large for his species.\n\n\"Yes,\" went on the Gingerbread Man, \"I came on a Christmas tree, and I\ntell you it was rather exciting.\"\n\n\"I should think so,\" remarked Frip.\n\n\"Of course it was a mistake that I got overboard,\" said the Gingerbread\nMan. \"All they meant to do was to throw the Christmas tree overboard\nafter the celebration on the ocean liner. But I was fastened to the top\nand they forgot to take me off. Well, I floated for days and days and\nhad about decided to try and lose my reason to keep from going insane,\nwhen, without the slightest warning, up out of the sea, right under my\nnose, popped this island.\"\n\n\"What do you mean 'popped this island'?\" asked the Prince. \"It didn't\nreally pop out of the ocean, did it?\"\n\n\"It certainly did,\" replied the Gingerbread Man. \"One moment I was\nstraining my eyes looking for an island, and the next moment there it\nwas.\"\n\n\"Then,\" cried Frip, excitedly, \"it must have been just when the royal\nnecromancer created the island for me to play with.\"\n\nAnd with that he told the Gingerbread Man how Wist the Wise had made\nthe island by magic at the command of the Emperor. \"And,\" he went on,\n\"it was mighty lucky for you that I happened to ask my father for a\ndesert island, otherwise you might be floating about the sea yet.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Gingerbread Man, \"it certainly was and I cannot thank\nyou enough, for it not only saved my life, but it has given me a chance\nto go into business for myself.\" He pointed to the real estate sign.\n\"It seemed a shame for all this land to go to waste so I've marked it\nout into building lots, and as the different people are shipwrecked\nhere, as of course they will be, I'll sell them the lots. See?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Frip, \"I see. But suppose they won't buy the lots?\"\n\n\"Then,\" said the Gingerbread Man, firmly, \"they've got to get off the\nisland. Business is business. I found the place first and it belongs to\nme.\"\n\n\"Belongs to you,\" cried the Prince. \"Well, I guess not. Why, it was\n'_made_' for me. Didn't I just tell you it was made for me?\"\n\n\"Oh, yes,\" said the Gingerbread Man, \"you told me, but that doesn't\nmake it so, does it? And I did get here first, you can't deny that.\nAnd findings are keepings, you can't deny that, either. And whoever\nwants to stay here has _got_ to buy a lot.\" And having made that\nannouncement, he turned on his heel and walked away, frowning like\nanything.\n\n\"I suppose,\" said the Prince to himself, \"he's mad at me now. But I\ndon't care if he is, the island is mine and whoever gets shipwrecked\nhere can stay if they want to, lots or no lots.\"\n\nThen _he_ turned on _his_ heel and walked away in the opposite\ndirection to that taken by the Gingerbread Man.\n\nNow as you know an island is an island--it may be a round island, or\nan oblong island, or a square island--but if it is an island and you\nstart at a certain place on the seacoast and walk long enough, you are\nbound to come back to the very place where you started. And that is\nexactly what happened to Frip. After he left the Gingerbread Man he\nwent on walking, and walking, and walking, until after a bit he came to\na place that looked very familiar and he saw by the real estate sign\nthat it was the same spot he had started from, except that something\nhad happened to it, which was that a bonfire was burning there and that\nrunning round and around the fire was the Gingerbread Man. And my, how\nfine he did smell for the fire had warmed him enough to freshen him up.\n\n\"Hello,\" said Frip, sniffing hungrily, \"what's the matter with you? My,\nyou do smell nice!\"\n\n\"Oh, I do, do I?\" said the Gingerbread Man, keeping on running, \"then I\nsuppose you'll join the cannibals and help eat me.\"\n\n\"Cannibals!\" exclaimed the Prince, \"what cannibals? I don't see any\ncannibals.\"\n\n\"Perhaps not,\" replied the Gingerbread Man, \"but you can easily see\ntheir footprints on the beach, can't you?\"\n\nAnd sure enough there were the prints of bare feet all about the\nbonfire, and now that Frip had noticed them he saw to his surprise that\nfresh footprints were being made all the time.\n\n\"Why--why--\" he began, very much startled, \"why--hey, is anybody here?\"\n\nAnd the minute he said that there was a blood-curdling yell and upon\nhis vision burst a band of coal-black savages with waving plumes on\ntheir heads and spears in their hands.\n\n[Illustration: Upon his vision burst a band of coal-black savages]\n\n\"Oh,\" he gasped, \"goodness gracious!\" Then turning about he started\nto run away as fast as he could, but when you are surrounded by\nsavages it is not so easy to run away, and presently Frip found himself\nrunning around and around the bonfire in the opposite direction to that\ntaken by the Gingerbread Man, each one of them pursued by a towering\ncannibal. And no one knows how long they might have kept it up if at\nlast the Gingerbread Man had not bumped into him, cracking himself\nbadly and almost knocking the Prince down. And at this the cannibals\nhowled with glee.\n\n\"Now,\" said the Cannibal Chief, as he watched Frip trying to get his\nbreath, \"perhaps you'll tell me why you ran so. Was it because we\nshocked you? I was afraid we would.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Frip, \"you certainly did sort of shock me. And then--\"\n\n\"I knew it,\" said the other. \"That's the reason we make ourselves\ninvisible when strangers are about. We hate to shock folks. Listen.\"\n\n    We always try with all our might\n    To keep completely out of sight\n    When folks like you, got up in style,\n    Come visiting this desert isle.\n    For well we know that we at best\n    Are far from being overdressed.\n\n    And so until we get a chance\n    To find a way to get some pants,\n    And maybe too, a fancy vest\n    And derby hats, and all the rest,\n    All we can do is weave a spell\n    And make ourselves invis-i-ble.\n\n\"That,\" said the Cannibal Chief, \"covers the case completely. In other\nwords, we're the most refined savages you ever met.\"\n\n\"Then,\" said Frip, \"if you're so refined, what do you want to be\ncannibals for? And why do you wish to eat that poor Gingerbread Man?\nThat's not very refined.\"\n\n\"Not very refined--I admit it,\" responded the Cannibal Chief, \"but very\nnecessary, for meals come before manners. And speaking of meals, I was\nthinking of asking you to join us at dinner. We'll have the Gingerbread\nMan for dessert.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" cried Frip, \"I couldn't think of eating the Gingerbread Man,\nthough I must say he smells awfully good when he's warmed up.\"\n\n\"That's all right,\" said the Cannibal Chief, \"you won't have to eat the\nGingerbread Man, in fact, you won't be here to do it. We're going to\neat you first.\"\n\nNow if Frip had chanced to sit down on a hornet and the hornet had got\nmad about it, it would certainly have made him jump, but nothing to\nwhat the remarks of the Cannibal Chief did. Indeed they almost froze\nhim stiff and his eyes fairly popped out of his head.\n\n\"Eh?\" he gasped--\"why--what--say--why you--you don't mean to eat--eat\n_me_?\"\n\n\"If you will join us at dinner--yes,\" said the Cannibal Chief,\npolitely. \"But of course if you have another dinner engagement--\"\n\n\"I have,\" put in Frip, hastily, \"I have a whole lot of 'em. And--and\nI'm not a bit hungry, so I simply _could not_ join you at dinner.\"\n\n\"Well, supper then, or breakfast,\" responded the Cannibal Chief.\n\"We'll call it whatever you want. We'll even call it a little side\nsnack, if you wish. You surely can't have engagements for every one of\nthose things.\"\n\n\"Yes, I have,\" said the Prince, desperately, edging away. \"I have\nengagements for everything, day and night. I haven't a second to spare.\nAnd besides, my father, the Emperor of Fizz, is waiting for me to take\na walk and if you stop me he'll--he'll put you in prison.\"\n\n\"Pooh,\" put in the Gingerbread Man, suddenly, \"his father isn't here.\"\n\n\"I didn't say he was,\" replied Frip, \"but he's waiting for me at home.\"\n\n\"Oh, at home, eh?\" said the Cannibal Chief. \"Well, that's quite another\nmatter. Lots of things are waiting at home. No doubt a taxicab is\nwaiting for your father outside his palace. And I dare say there's a\nwoodpile in your backyard waiting for you to do some chopping. And\nyour mother, no doubt, is waiting for you to come back. And the hired\ngirl is probably waiting on the table. But here, nothing waits. So\nyou and your friend, the Gingerbread Man, kindly back up against that\nreal estate sign and let the fire grill you a little. We don't care for\n_cold_ meals.\"\n\nWell, you can easily imagine in what frame of mind the Prince was when\nhe heard that. Here was a fine ending to his adventure. When he had\nasked for a desert island he had expected to have an exciting time of\nit but not this sort.\n\n\"My, oh my!\" he groaned. \"I wish I had stayed at home and played with\nmy regular play-things and not asked for a desert island. This is what\ncomes of wanting something that isn't meant for boys.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Gingerbread Man, \"and this is what comes of landing on\nsomething that isn't meant for gingerbread men. I wish now I had stayed\non that Christmas tree.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Frip, as the cannibals pushed him back to back with the\nGingerbread Man, \"I'm sorry we quarreled over those building lots.\"\n\n\"Don't mention it,\" said the Gingerbread Man, \"and _I'm_ sorry you are\ngoing to be eaten ahead of me.\"\n\nThen they shook hands solemnly, and the Gingerbread Man's hand was\nso soft and sticky that one of the fingers came off in Frip's clasp.\nAnd just for a moment Frip thought of eating it, for he had had no\nbreakfast that morning, and then shocked that he should think of such a\nthing, he tossed it away.\n\nThe next instant one of the cannibals picked it up. \"Yum, yum,\" he\nexclaimed as he took a bite. Then he passed the morsel on to another\nof the band, and before the finger had gone half around, the whole\ngroup of cannibals were simply wild over the delicious flavor of the\nGingerbread Man.\n\n\"Ow! Yow!\" they shrieked. \"Gibblety! Goody!\"\n\nThen with another shriek they all rushed at the poor Gingerbread Man\nand tearing him away from the horror stricken Prince, commenced to\ngobble him up as fast as they could. And because there was so little of\nhim and so many of them, each one of the cannibals fell to fighting\nthe other in order to get his share of the tempting meal. And long\nafter the last crumb of the Gingerbread Man had disappeared, they were\nstill fighting furiously, until, as cannibals when they start to fight\nnever know how to stop, they killed each other, and Frip was the only\nperson left alive on the beach of the desert island.\n\nAnd when that happened you may be sure it did not take him long to wade\nout to his boat and set sail for home, for he had had quite enough of\n_that_ place.\n\n\"Hello,\" said the royal necromancer, feeling very much annoyed as the\nPrince landed on the imaginary shore in front of his father's palace,\n\"how on earth did you get back so soon? You should have stayed longer.\nYou've missed seeing a lot of things.\"\n\n\"I don't care if I did,\" said Frip, \"for what I _did_ see was quite\nenough.\" And when he said that it seemed to him he could still hear the\nwhoops of the invisible cannibals as they scrambled for the crumbs of\nthe Gingerbread Man.\n\n\"Oh, ho,\" said Wist the Wise, smiling cheerily, \"then you don't care\nfor imaginary islands, eh?\"\n\n\"No,\" said Frip, \"I don't. That is, I don't except in story books.\"\n\n\n\n\n                           THE DANCING PEARL\n\n\nThe Dancing Pearl was the name of a beautiful lady, and she danced\nevery evening and Saturday afternoons in the palace of the Viceroy of\nChow Chow. That is, she did until the Hermit of Hong carried her off by\nstealth one night to his cave in the mountains.\n\nNow the Hermit of Hong hated crowds and conversation, but he adored\nmusic and dancing, and after he had stolen the Dancing Pearl he just\nused to sit and bang the cymbals while he smoked his water pipe and\nwatched the Dancing Pearl dance until it made his eyes swim. And he\nnever gave a thought to the way the Viceroy must feel at being deprived\nof his dancing girl. But if the Hermit did not dwell upon the matter,\nthe Viceroy did, and the minute he found the Dancing Pearl was gone,\nhe went to see the celebrated Mongolian wizard, Hoo Hoo, who had his\noffice on the main street of Chow Chow.\n\nBut when he entered the wizard's office he was much disappointed to\nfind that the wizard had just gotten married and that his wife would\nnot let him take any case which had a lady in it.\n\n\"I'm awfully sorry,\" said the wizard to the Viceroy, \"but as you are a\nmarried man yourself, you can easily understand my position.\"\n\n\"Of course, of course,\" replied the Viceroy, impatiently, \"but that\ndoes not get me back my dancing girl, and I must have her back. There\nis no one like her. She is the poetry of motion and the soul of\necstasy. I'll give half my fortune to get her back.\"\n\n\"Well, in that case,\" said Hoo Hoo, \"I'll have to take the job, for\nthe half of your fortune added to mine will make me a very rich man.\nBut I can only do the work by proxy--that is, my apprentice will have\nto do it under my direction--for I positively will not hurt my wife's\nfeelings, not even for the half of your fortune.\"\n\nThen he struck a gong and into the room walked a bright looking boy\nabout eight years old with his pigtail neatly curled about his head.\n\n[Illustration: Floo the wizard at work.]\n\n\"This,\" said the wizard, \"is my apprentice, Floo. I'll put him on the\ncase.\"\n\n\"Not much,\" exclaimed the Viceroy. \"Why, he is only a boy. You seem to\nthink this affair of mine is mere child's play.\"\n\n\"Oh, no, I don't,\" said the wizard, \"and if you think Floo is a child,\nyou are very much mistaken. He has been taught his trade very, very\ncarefully. Why, he can even tell how many hairs there are in your\npigtail. Tell him, Floo.\"\n\nAnd Floo, after examining the Viceroy's pigtail for a few moments, told\nhim there were 3,672,491 hairs in it.\n\n\"There,\" said the wizard, proudly, \"what do you think of that?\"\n\n\"But,\" said the Viceroy, \"how do I know he's right?\"\n\n\"Well,\" responded the wizard, \"how do you know he's wrong? Have you\never counted the hairs in your pigtail, eh?\"\n\n\"N--o,\" said the Viceroy, slowly, \"but--\"\n\n\"Then,\" said the wizard, \"the less said the better.\"\n\nSo Floo was picked out to solve the mystery of the disappearance of\nthe Dancing Pearl, and the first thing the wizard did was to give him\na list of people in Chow Chow that might have carried off the dancing\ngirl.\n\n\"To save time,\" he said, \"you'd better turn 'em all into turnips at\nonce, and then tell 'em you'll turn 'em back again if they'll confess\ntheir crime.\"\n\nBut after Floo had turned all the people into turnips and told them\nhe would turn them back if they confessed, he found that every one of\nthem confessed without a moment's hesitation, which made things very\nconfusing, for when you transform a thousand persons and each one says\nhe stole a dancing girl when only one dancing girl was stolen, you do\nnot know what to think. So the wizard told Floo he had better give up\nthat line of investigation.\n\n\"Now,\" continued the wizard, \"the next thing is to know what to do?\nWhat do you think?\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Floo, \"I believe it would be a good plan to pick out the\nperson you think would never do such a thing as steal a dancing girl\nand go after him. And after you find him you'll probably find he did\nit. That is the way it always happens in the story books I've read.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said Hoo Hoo, \"suppose we try it. But it's going to be a\ntough job, I'm afraid.\"\n\nAnd indeed it was, for Floo and the wizard thought and thought until\ntheir heads ached trying to recall a person in Chow Chow who would not\ncare to steal the Viceroy's dancing girl, but at last Floo gave a shout.\n\n\"I have it,\" he cried. \"I know of one person nobody would ever suspect,\nand that is the Hermit of Hong. He hates everybody--ladies most of\nall--and the only thing he enjoys is being by himself. So if the story\nbooks are right he must be the one who carried off the Dancing Pearl.\nI think I'll go to see him.\"\n\n\"Go ahead, then,\" said the wizard. Then he handed Floo a book bound in\nleather. \"Here,\" he said, \"are a few simple instructions how to turn\nthings into other things. I would suggest that you turn the Hermit into\na lemon if you find it necessary. Good-by and good luck!\"\n\nSo Floo set off for the Hermit's cave and when he got there he found,\nas you already know, that the Hermit of Hong _had_ stolen the Dancing\nPearl, and was enjoying himself immensely as he watched her whirl about.\n\n[Illustration: He watched her whirl about]\n\n\"Sir,\" demanded Floo, sternly, \"what do you mean by such behavior? I\nthought you were a hermit. And besides, don't you know that the Dancing\nPearl belongs to the Viceroy of Chow Chow?\"\n\nThe Hermit of Hong laughed scornfully as he put down his cymbals and\nlaid aside his pipe. \"Belongs to the Viceroy of Chow Chow? You mean,\n_did_ belong to the Viceroy of Chow Chow. She belongs to me now. And\nas for you, whoever you are, get out of my cave before I throw a toad\nat you.\" Then he clashed his cymbals again and the Dancing Pearl went\non with her dancing.\n\nNow you may think that Floo would have been discouraged to meet with\nsuch a reception, but such was not the case, for he had not been\ntrained by the celebrated Mongolian wizard for nothing. No sir-ee, it\ntook much more than that to discourage him. So all he did was to take\nout his book of instructions and look it over. Then he put some figures\ndown on a piece of paper, after which he wiggled his fingers a moment\nand stamped his foot, and the Hermit of Hong was transformed into a\nlarge and very yellow looking lemon. And the moment that happened the\nDancing Pearl stopped dancing and rushed up to Floo with a cry of joy.\n\n\"Oh,\" she panted, all out of breath from her late exertions. \"I'm _so_\nglad you came. I'm completely worn out.\"\n\n\"I should think so,\" said Floo. \"Have you been dancing ever since that\nold thing carried you off?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Dancing Pearl; \"not even stopping for meals.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Floo, \"just you rest yourself and then we'll start back to\nthe Viceroy's palace.\"\n\nThen he told the Dancing Pearl who he was and why Hoo Hoo had sent him.\n\"Of course,\" he continued, \"the wizard will make much more money than\nI will out of this job, but I think I'll get my salary raised anyhow.\nAnd if I keep on being successful as I have been this time, I shouldn't\nbe surprised if I made a big enough salary after awhile to get married.\nAnd if I ever get married I know who I'd like to marry.\"\n\nAnd when he said that the Dancing Pearl hung her head and turned very\npink. \"Oh,\" she murmured, \"I'm much too old for you. I'm almost twelve.\"\n\n\"What of it?\" cried Floo, \"I'm going on nine.\"\n\nSo the Dancing Pearl and the wizard's apprentice decided to get married\nas soon as Floo made enough money to support them, and they were so\ntaken up with their planning that they quite forgot the Hermit of\nHong who had been turned into a lemon. But if they had forgotten about\nthe Hermit, the Hermit had not forgotten about himself, and the minute\nFloo turned him into a lemon he began to turn himself into something\nelse. Of course what he would have liked to do best would have been to\nturn himself back into a hermit, but when you have been transformed\ninto something, you cannot turn yourself back into what you were first\nunless you have attended a college of magic. And as luck would have it,\nthe Hermit of Hong had never been to college, and what little magic he\nknew he had picked up himself. Therefore, the only thing he could do\nwas to turn himself into something worse than what he was. And as long\nas he could not be the Hermit of Hong and have the Dancing Pearl dance\nfor him, he decided he might as well get even by being transformed\ninto something that would stand in the way of Floo having the Dancing\nPearl, so he turned himself into a monstrous Grammarsaurus or ancient\nIff, for he knew if anything could stand in the way of a person doing\nsomething he wanted to, an Iff could, because an Iff not only stood in\nthe way but it had the most disconcerting eyes. Yes, indeed, its eyes\nmade you so dizzy after you had gazed into them a moment you fell down\nin a heap, whereupon the Grammarsaurus devoured you eagerly. But if\nyou did not look into the creature's eyes you were all right, for the\nGrammarsaurus could not eat anything unless it was perfectly still.\nYou see he had to keep his eyes shut while he was eating, because if\nhe looked at what he was eating it went around and around, and it is\nawfully hard to make a meal of anything that is going around and around.\n\nBut of course Floo and the Dancing Pearl knew nothing about ancient\nIffs and their habits. All they knew was that they adored each other\nand wanted to get married, and when the Hermit turned himself from a\nlemon into an immense creature that half filled the cavern, you may be\nsure they were very much startled.\n\n\"Oh,\" cried the Dancing Pearl, as the Grammarsaurus gave a snort that\nmade the cave tremble, \"what's that?\"\n\n\"What's what?\" asked Floo, turning about. And then when _he_ saw the\nancient Iff you can well believe he said \"oh\" also.\n\n\"My gracious,\" he gasped, \"how did that thing get in here? And--and\nwhere is the lemon I made out of the Hermit?\"\n\n\"That,\" said the Grammarsaurus, icily, \"is a mystery that I can easily\nsolve. I am the hermit, likewise the lemon, and also something else\nbeside as you may observe.\"\n\n\"I should say you were,\" said the Dancing Pearl. \"I never saw such a\nmonster.\"\n\nAnd then as she looked into the creature's eyes she felt a slight\ndizziness coming over her and found herself swaying, but as she was a\ndancer and accustomed to whirling about, the feeling passed off in a\nmoment and she was as well as ever.\n\n\"Huh!\" said the ancient Iff disgustedly, \"why don't you turn giddy and\nfall down in a heap so I can eat you? Everybody does that when they\nlook into my eyes.\"\n\n\"Maybe they do,\" replied the Dancing Pearl, \"but I don't. I'm too\naccustomed to whirling about to get dizzy so easy, so you'll have to\nmake a meal of something else.\"\n\n\"All right,\" growled the monster, glaring at Floo, \"then I'll eat your\ngentleman friend.\"\n\n\"Well, I guess not,\" said Floo. \"_I_ don't intend to look into your\nugly old eyes, no sir-ee.\"\n\n\"Oh, don't you?\" said the ancient Iff. \"Indeed!\" And with that he began\nto sing in a voice like a dozen bass drums:\n\n    In days of old when knights were bold\n      And dragons held their sway,\n    The knights all fought as warriors ought\n      To end the dragons' day.\n    And though the dragons spouted flame\n    The knights they whipped 'em just the same.\n\n    But in the days before the craze\n      For killing dragons flourished,\n    There were no tiffs with ancient Iffs\n      For Iffs were too well nourished.\n    And though some might ignore their size,\n    None could ignore their goo-goo eyes.\n\n    So have a care--likewise beware,\n      And look at me just so--\n    You have no chance! My flashing glance\n      Will follow where you go.\n    Gaze in my eyes--get busy,\n    And let yourself grow dizzy.\n\nAs the Grammarsaurus sang the last verse, Floo, to his horror, found\nhimself looking into the monster's glaring eyes, and the minute he did\nthat he began to feel giddier and giddier.\n\n\"Phew!\" he cried, \"I--I--I feel so wobbly I can hardly keep my feet.\"\n\n\"Ha, ha,\" chuckled the ancient Iff, \"of course you do. And presently\nyou'll feel even more wobbly, and then--\"\n\nHe turned to the Dancing Pearl. \"Here,\" he remarked, \"is where I eat\nyour gentleman friend as I said I would. I guess you wish now he hadn't\ntried to take you from me when I was a hermit, don't you?\"\n\n\"Indeed I do not,\" retorted the Dancing Pearl, \"for I am not going\nto let you eat my gentleman friend. Your eyes may make him dizzy but\nunless he falls in a heap you cannot eat him. And as I never get giddy\nI shall hold him up.\"\n\nAnd with that she put her arm about Floo's neck and drew his arm about\nher waist, and though his legs were very, very unsteady she managed to\nkeep him from falling while the Grammarsaurus walked about smacking his\nlips enviously.\n\n\"Now look here,\" he said to the Dancing Pearl, \"you seem to forget this\nis a private matter between your gentleman friend and myself, and I\ncannot see why you mix in it, I really cannot.\"\n\n\"Well, maybe you can't,\" replied the Dancing Pearl, \"but I can. So you\nmight as well shoo yourself away.\"\n\nThen because the ancient Iff's song had so enchanted Floo he could not\neven close his eyes but simply _had_ to keep on looking at the monster,\nshe threw her beautiful hand-embroidered handkerchief over his face,\nand presently the effect of the Grammarsaurus's stare passed away and\nFloo felt much better.\n\n\"Now,\" said the Dancing Pearl, \"if I were you I'd look in my book\nof instructions and turn this nasty old thing into something less\ndangerous.\"\n\nFloo groaned. \"I can't,\" he replied. \"This book only tells how to\ntransform a person or a thing _once_. You see, Hoo Hoo did not think I\nwould have to do it more than once.\"\n\n\"But,\" said the Dancing Pearl, \"I don't see why you cannot transform\nthis Grammarsaurus. You never transformed him before.\"\n\n\"Yes, I did,\" responded Floo. \"I turned the Hermit into a lemon, and\nthis monster is only a continuation of the lemon. In other words, the\nHermit was first a lemon and now he's a Grammarsaurus, and the book\ndoesn't tell how to transform him again.\"\n\nWell, you may be sure this tickled the ancient Iff very much. As Floo\nand the Dancing Pearl conversed he had been listening with all his\nmight, and when he heard Floo confess that he did not know how to\ntransform the monster into anything else the ancient Iff gave a loud\ncheer and capered about gleefully.\n\n\"My, my,\" he exclaimed, \"but I have got you two in a fix. I may not be\nable to make you so dizzy you'll fall down and I can eat you, but that\nis no reason why I cannot scrouge you so I'll be able to gobble you up\nafter a while.\"\n\nAnd with that he began to crowd them against the walls of the cave\nsomething awful. It was just like having a house trying to walk over\nyou, and Floo and the Dancing Pearl had to step lively to keep out of\nthe monster's way.\n\n\"If we can only get outside,\" panted Floo, \"I believe I can fix him,\nfor I've thought of a plan.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said the Dancing Pearl, \"I'll run to the back of the cave\nand when he comes after me you run outside and before he can squash me\nI'll join you.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Floo, \"are you quite sure you can do it?\"\n\n\"Yes, indeed,\" replied the girl. \"I'm as light as a feather on my\nfeet. I haven't been a dancer for nothing.\"\n\nAnd sure enough, when the Grammarsaurus, puffing and snorting, tried\nto scrouge her to nothing at the rear of the cave, she sprang swiftly\naside, and in a moment was beside Floo outside the entrance. And then,\njust as the furious creature was galloping toward the door of the\ncavern to try to crush them outside, Floo, looking in his book, wiggled\nhis fingers and repeated hastily:\n\n    Cave, bar the monster's rage--\n      Four, three, two, one.\n    Cave, turn into a cage--\n      Do, do it, doing, done.\n\nThen he stamped his foot, and bing--instead of a rocky cave there stood\nbefore them a fine, big, iron cage, strong enough to hold anything, and\ninside of it was the Grammarsaurus.\n\n\"Oh,\" cried the Dancing Pearl, \"what a delightful idea!\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Floo, \"I just happened to think that even if I couldn't\ntransform the Grammarsaurus there was no reason why I could not\ntransform the cave. So I did.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" put in the Grammarsaurus, \"I see you did.\" And after that he\nwould not say another word, but sat and sat, and chewed his tail in\nvexation.\n\n\"Now,\" said Floo, \"let's start for the Viceroy's palace.\"\n\nSo off they went, and when they got there the Viceroy of Chow Chow was\nbeside himself with joy.\n\n\"Welcome, poetry of motion and soul of ecstasy!\" he cried, swinging the\nDancing Pearl high in the air.\n\nAnd then when he learned how Floo had rescued her and how he wanted to\nmarry her, the Viceroy said he had no objection whatever, provided Floo\nwould let his wife dance at the palace whenever the Viceroy wanted her\nto. And as for the Grammarsaurus, he would be glad to buy the creature,\ncage and all, to put in the private zoo he had.\n\nSo the Grammarsaurus was brought to Chow Chow and placed on\nexhibition, and Floo and the Dancing Pearl lived happily ever\nafterwards on the generous sum that the Viceroy paid for him.\n\n\n\n\n                        THE INHERITED PRINCESS\n\n\nOnce there was a little boy named Ting who, as this story opens, was\njust celebrating his eighth birthday. And you may be sure it was a\npretty fine birthday celebration because Ting was the Crown Prince of\nPouf and heir to the throne.\n\n\"Now, Ting,\" said his father the King, as they stood at the palace\nwindow watching the magnificent parade given in the Prince's honor,\n\"I have another surprise for you. I am going to give you a chance to\nprove your princely courage by rescuing the Inherited Princess from the\nenchanted castle.\"\n\nThen he told Ting that hundreds and hundreds of years ago, this\nPrincess, who was just about Ting's age and quite beautiful, had\nbeen carried off by her uncle, a celebrated scoundrel with a magical\neducation, and shut up in an enchanted castle with a twenty-headed\nGallopus to guard her.\n\n\"My,\" said the Prince, \"she must be quite an old lady by this time.\"\n\n\"No, indeed,\" said the King, \"she is just as young as ever. One never\ngrows old in an enchanted castle. But if _she_ didn't grow old the\nwicked uncle did, so much so that he finally died of it. Then as no\none had ever found a way to rescue the Princess, and as her uncle\nhad stated in his will that she was not to be set free until she\nwas rescued, the heirs of the wicked uncle had to let things go on\nas they were, so the Princess still remains in the castle with the\ntwenty-headed Gallopus on guard.\"\n\n\"But,\" said Ting, \"doesn't a Gallopus ever grow old?\"\n\n\"Not that I ever heard of,\" replied the King, \"or at least this one\ndoes not, for he still sits in the same spot in the castle yard as he\ndid before I was born.\"\n\n\"Phew!\" exclaimed Ting, \"he must be a terrible creature.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said the monarch, \"he isn't a thing to be trifled with. And\nthat is the reason I think it would be fine for you to celebrate your\nbirthday by fighting him and setting the Princess free. Don't you?\"\n\n\"H'mm,\" murmured the Prince, \"I don't know. I can think of other things\nI would much rather do.\"\n\n\"Why, I am surprised,\" said the King. \"I should think you'd be _glad_\nof the chance. I only wish some one had suggested the idea on _my_\neighth birthday. Just think how famous you'll be if you conquer the\ntwenty-headed Gallopus.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said Ting, \"but just think how I'll be if I don't.\"\n\n\"Pooh! Pooh!\" remarked the Prime Minister, who sat on the other side\nof Ting, \"that's no way for a prince to talk, especially as we've\nannounced to the public that you are about to rescue the Inherited\nPrincess from the enchanted castle.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the King, \"and every one is talking about it, so you can't\nback out unless you wish to disgrace me.\"\n\n[Illustration: The minute the parade was over he started off.]\n\nAnd of course, as Ting had no desire to bring disgrace upon his family,\nhe saw he would have to fight the twenty-headed Gallopus whether he\nliked it or not, though how he was ever going to do it, he could not\nimagine. However, as the longer he thought about the matter the more\ndiscouraged he became, he finally decided to go and have a look at the\nmonster and see what his chances were. So the minute the parade was\nover, he started off.\n\nNow a twenty-headed Gallopus is shaped like a star with twenty points,\nand on each point is a head. And each head has two pop eyes, two big\nears, a wide mouth with a complete collection of long, sharp teeth, and\na turned up nose. And when a twenty-headed Gallopus wishes to show a\nperson that he does _not_ care for his society, he turns slowly about\nand stares at him fixedly with his forty eyes, which makes a person\nfeel _very_ uncomfortable. So you can easily imagine how Ting felt\nwhen he reached the enchanted castle and confronted the twenty-headed\nGallopus in the courtyard.\n\n\"Well,\" cried the twenty-headed Gallopus, speaking with about ten of\nhis heads and making a fearful racket, \"what do you want around here?\"\n\nWhereupon the Prince told him how he was expected to rescue the\nInherited Princess, and had come to see what the Gallopus looked like\nbefore he started to work.\n\n\"Oh, you did, did you?\" roared the monster. \"Well, what do you think?\"\n\n\"I think,\" said Ting, \"that you're the most awful thing I ever saw.\nYou're enough to guard a dozen princesses and it isn't fair to ask a\nlittle boy of eight to fight you.\"\n\n\"It's not only not fair,\" said the Gallopus, \"but it's downright mean,\nnot to say ridiculous.\" Then he laughed with all his heads at once\nuntil the ground actually trembled. \"Don't you know,\" he went on, \"that\nI'd have to lose every one of my heads before the Princess could be\nfreed? Even if you chopped off one or two it would be no use. I must\nlose _all_ of them before the spell is broken.\"\n\nAnd with that he burst into a rollicking ditty--\n\n    Three rousing cheers for a job like mine,\n    For I must confess it is simply fine\n    To sit all day and take your ease\n    And just do nothing as long as you please.\n    For who would dare to brave my wrath?\n    And who would dare to cross my path\n    To try and win this princess fair?\n    Oh, can you tell me who would dare?\n\n\"Well,\" said the twenty-headed Gallopus, when he had finished, \"can you\ntell me who _would_ dare?\"\n\n\"No,\" said Ting, \"I can't. I thought maybe _I_ would, but I've changed\nmy mind.\"\n\n\"And quite right, too,\" said the monster, \"you show good sense, for it\nis certainly foolish to attempt what is impossible. And besides, the\nPrincess is very happy in the castle anyway.\"\n\n\"How do you know?\" asked the Prince.\n\n\"Well,\" said the Gallopus, \"she has never complained, and even if she\ndid I would be too bashful to listen to her. I don't know what it is,\nbut it makes me dreadfully nervous to talk to girls. I get so confused\nand everything. Do you?\"\n\n\"Oh, no,\" said Ting, \"I like to talk to girls.\"\n\nThe twenty-headed Gallopus looked at him admiringly. \"Hum,\" he said,\n\"you're much braver than I thought you were. No wonder you thought you\ncould fight me. And now I think you had better run along back home for\nI want to take a little nap.\"\n\nBut Ting had no intention of running back home just then, no indeed,\nfor chancing to look up at the castle windows he had seen the Princess\npeeping out at him. And one sight of her was enough to make him want to\nstay there forever. So he told the twenty-headed Gallopus not to mind\nhim but to go ahead and take his nap.\n\n\"I won't disturb you,\" he said. \"I'll be just as quiet as a mouse.\"\n\n\"Very well,\" replied the Gallopus, \"if you'll promise solemnly not to\nmake any noise or chop off any of my heads, I'll do it, for I need the\nsleep. One of my heads had a headache last night and it kept all the\nothers awake.\"\n\nAnd with that he wobbled into his cave and began to snore like twenty\nlocomotives all starting from the station at once.\n\n\"My gracious!\" gasped the Prince, \"he needn't worry about the noise _I_\nmake.\"\n\nThen he hurried across the courtyard until he came to the window where\nthe Princess was sitting.\n\n\"Hello,\" he shouted at the top of his lungs. \"How do you do?\"\n\n\"Very well, thank you,\" screamed the Princess, leaning out of the\nwindow. \"Isn't it dreadful the noise that old Gallopus makes?\"\n\n\"Terrible,\" yelled Ting, thinking how lovely she was, all pink in the\nface from shouting so. \"I've come to rescue you.\"\n\n\"Oh, isn't that splendid!\" shrieked the Princess, smiling at him. \"Do\nyou think you can do it?\"\n\n\"Sure,\" bawled Ting, \"I'll find out some way. I didn't think I could at\nfirst, but since I've _seen_ you, I've simply _got_ to.\"\n\nAnd when he said that the Inherited Princess grew pinker than ever and\ndid not seem to know what to say. But even if she had known what to\nsay she probably would not have said it for all of a sudden the snoring\nstopped and the twenty-headed Gallopus came hurrying out of his cave as\nmad as could be.\n\n\"Didn't you tell me you wouldn't make any noise?\" he demanded of Ting,\nangrily. \"You said if I took a nap you'd be as quiet as a mouse, and\nyet you've made such a rumpus it woke me up. Such a hooting and tooting\nI never heard.\"\n\n\"That wasn't me,\" said Ting. \"That was you--snoring.\"\n\n\"I--snoring?\" howled the monster, furiously. \"Oh, that's--that's the\nworst insult yet. I never snore, sir, never. I--I wouldn't know a snore\nif I heard one. And even if I _did_ snore it would sound like a harp or\nsomething like that, and not like a roll of musketry. The idea, telling\nme I snore!\"\n\nThereupon, with every one of his twenty heads snarling, and his body\nwhirling about like a pin-wheel, the Gallopus started for the Prince.\nAnd the minute he started the Prince started also, in the opposite\ndirection.\n\n\"Oh,\" shrieked the Princess, \"he'll eat you.\"\n\n\"He'd--he'd better not,\" cried Ting, running around and around the\ncourtyard as fast as he could.\n\n\"Bah!\" shouted the Gallopus, \"don't tell _me_ what I'd better not do.\nAnd stop running so. How am I ever going to catch you if you run around\nso?\"\n\nAll of which showed what a silly old thing the twenty-headed Gallopus\nwas, for he might have known that Ting would _not_ stop running around.\nIndeed, he ran so fast that the monster finally stopped and stood\npanting with his forty cheeks all puffed out. And then it was that the\nPrincess leaned out of the window, extended her hand, and Ting, giving\na leap, seized it and jumped in at the casement where she sat.\n\n\"Now,\" he jeered at the monster, \"catch me if you can.\"\n\n\"I don't need to catch you,\" replied the twenty-headed Gallopus,\ncalmly, \"the enchanted castle has caught you and that's enough, as\nyou'll soon find out.\"\n\n\"Why, what do you mean?\" asked the Prince, in a tone of alarm.\n\n\"Oh, nothing much,\" chuckled the monster, \"only that in an hour you\nwill begin to turn into a spider, that's all, but it's enough, I guess.\nHee, hee!\"\n\nWith another shriek the Princess fainted away, and as for Ting, he\nalmost fainted too, at the thought of turning into anything so horrid.\n\n\"I don't believe it,\" he said, glaring at the Gallopus.\n\n\"Just as you please,\" answered the monster, \"but when you're a spider\nyou'll believe it. That castle was built to hold the Princess and\nnobody else. If anybody else goes in they turn into a spider unless\nthey come out in an hour.\"\n\nWell, you can imagine how Ting felt, and you can also imagine how the\nPrincess felt when she came out of her swoon.\n\n\"I like you awfully, Ting,\" she said, \"but really I'm afraid I could\nnot like you as a spider.\"\n\n\"I should say not,\" replied the boy. \"I couldn't like myself that way.\"\n\nThen he pulled out his watch, looked at it and shuddered. \"Only three\nquarters of an hour left,\" he groaned.\n\nAnd there they sat at the window worrying and worrying and worrying,\nand wondering what to do. And underneath the window sat the\ntwenty-headed Gallopus gloating and gloating and gloating over the way\nthey were worrying. And finally the three-quarters of an hour passed\nand they knew if Ting stayed in the castle another minute he would turn\ninto a spider.\n\n[Illustration: Underneath the window sat the twenty-headed Gallopus]\n\n\"Oh, dear,\" said the boy, \"I guess I'll have to go out and be eaten.\nIt's bad enough but I think I'd rather be eaten than be a spider.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" said the Princess, \"and I think I should, too, only I _would_\nlike to disappoint that Gallopus. I know he'd much rather eat you than\nhave you turn into a spider.\"\n\n\"Oh, do you think so?\" said Ting.\n\n\"I'm sure of it,\" responded the Princess.\n\n\"Then,\" said the boy, \"maybe I can make a bargain with him.\"\n\nSo he leaned out of the window and called to the monster: \"you might as\nwell go away now. I've decided to become a spider.\"\n\n\"What!\" shouted the twenty-headed Gallopus, \"why, you must be crazy.\nWhy--why, it's an awful feeling to be a spider. It's much nicer to be\neaten. Come on out and I'll swallow you whole and it won't hurt a bit.\"\n\n\"No,\" said Ting, \"I think I prefer to be a spider.\"\n\n\"Oh, go on,\" said the Gallopus, looking awfully disappointed, \"you\ncan't mean it.\"\n\n\"Yes, I do,\" said the Prince, \"although I might change my mind if you\nlet the Princess go free.\"\n\n\"Never,\" cried the monster, gnashing his teeth.\n\n\"Very well, then,\" said Ting, \"you'll not eat _me_.\" And he started to\ndraw in his head.\n\n\"Wait, wait,\" shouted the Gallopus, \"wait a moment. Let me think.\"\nThen after a moment he groaned. \"All right, I'll do it, though I ought\nto be ashamed of myself. But it has been so many years since I tasted a\nboy I simply cannot resist the temptation. So come out and be eaten and\nthe moment I gulp you down I'll go off to my cave and shut my eyes, and\nthe Princess can come out of the castle.\"\n\nAnd the instant the monster said that the Prince jumped out of the\nwindow, because he knew if he hesitated the Princess, who had been\nlistening in horrified silence, would never let him be eaten to set her\nfree.\n\n\"Ah, ha!\" cried the Gallopus, smacking his twenty pairs of lips, when\nhe saw Ting standing before him, \"now I _have_ got you.\" Then he burst\ninto a roar of laughter. \"I knew that story about the spider would\nfetch you. That's the reason I made it up.\"\n\n\"You made it up?\" cried Ting. \"Do you mean to say it wasn't true?\"\n\nWith another laugh the Gallopus shook every one of his heads merrily.\n\"Of course it wasn't true, and only a ninny like you would have\nbelieved it.\"\n\n\"Is that so!\" cried the Princess.\n\nAnd as she spoke _she_ jumped out of the window and marched right up\nto the monster. \"You wicked, wicked creature,\" she said, her cheeks\nflaming and her eyes sparkling like diamonds.\n\nAnd as she stood there right in front of the Gallopus she looked so\nlovely Ting felt he would be willing to be eaten a dozen times for her\nsake. And as for the twenty-headed Gallopus, he blushed scarlet with\nconfusion. Of course he had often seen the Princess at her window,\nbut never before in the sunshine outside the castle where she was a\n_hundred times_ as beautiful. So he just stared and stared with all\nhis mouths open, and shuffled his hundred and twenty feet uneasily.\nAnd then all of a sudden his heads began to get dizzy, and he felt as\nthough he would sink through the ground with bashfulness. And then--as\nthe Princess, growing more dazzling every minute, advanced still\ncloser--bing--he lost his twenty heads entirely. Bing, bing, bing--each\none went off like a balloon when it bursts, and nothing remained of the\ndreadful Gallopus to worry about.\n\n\"Hurrah! Hurrah!\" cried the Princess, clapping her hands. \"The\nenchantment is broken. I am free again and you will not be eaten after\nall, Ting. I wonder what ever made him lose his heads that way?\"\n\n\"Why,\" said Ting, taking her hand and liking her more than ever, \"don't\nyou know? Because if you don't, just come to the palace and look in a\nmirror and you will soon find out.\"\n\nAnd when he said that the Princess tucked her arm in his and marched\nhim off to the palace as quick as she could.\n\n\"Well, well, well,\" cried the King, jumping off his throne in\nexcitement when he saw them coming in, \"if this isn't the great\nsurprise of my life.\"\n\nThen he patted Ting on the back and called him the bravest boy in the\nland. \"To think of conquering the twenty-headed Gallopus and rescuing\nthe Inherited Princess on your eighth birthday,\" he said. \"I never,\nnever thought you would do it.\"\n\n\"I didn't do it,\" said Ting. \"The Princess did it all herself.\"\n\nAnd after the King had learned all that had happened he patted the\nPrincess on the back also, and then he pinched her cheek.\n\n\"I don't wonder, my dear,\" he said, \"that the Gallopus lost his heads.\nAnd I guess I'll announce that you and Ting did it between you, for\nit's all in the family, anyway.\"","title":"The sociable Sand Witch","tradition":"folklore-oral-tradition","translated_text":null,"word_count":34040}