{"collection":"myth-cosmogony","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_69592/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_69592","id":"gutenberg_69592","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69592","summary":null,"tags":["Category: History - British","Category: Mythology, Legends & Folklore","Fairies -- Scotland -- Highlands","Festivals -- Scotland -- Highlands","Ghosts -- Scotland -- Highlands","Highlands (Scotland) -- Miscellanea","Highlands (Scotland) -- Social life and customs","Popular culture -- Scotland -- Highlands","Superstition -- Scotland -- Highlands","Witchcraft -- Scotland -- Highlands"],"text":"[Illustration]\n\n\n\n\n  THE\n  POPULAR\n  SUPERSTITIONS\n  AND\n  FESTIVE AMUSEMENTS\n  OF THE\n  HIGHLANDERS OF SCOTLAND.\n\n  BY\n  WILLIAM GRANT STEWART.\n\n  NEW EDITION.\n\n  \u201cOf Brownyis and of Bogilis full is this Beuk.\u201d\n\n                                           _Gawin Douglas._\n\n\n  LONDON:\n  AYLOTT AND JONES, 8, PATERNOSTER, ROW.\n\n  EDINBURGH: OLIVER AND BOYD. GLASGOW:\n  MUCKLEHOSE. DUBLIN: M^cGLASHAN. INVERNESS:\n  SMITH DOUGLAS. ELGIN: RUSSELL.\n\n\n\n\n  LONDON:\n  JOHN KING, PRINTER, 120, FLEET STREET.\n\n\n\n\nTO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE\n\nTHE COUNTESS OF SEAFIELD.\n\n\nThis new Edition of the Popular Superstitions and Festive Amusements of\nthe Highlanders of Scotland is humbly and appropriately dedicated:--as\nbeing the Lady Patroness of the Brave and Intelligent Highlanders of\nStrathspey, and its Tributaries, into whom her Ladyship\u2019s genuine\nbenevolence and condescension have infused the most devoted attachment,\n\n                               By her Ladyship\u2019s\n\n                                        Grateful humble servant,\n\n                                                           THE AUTHOR.\n\n  Viewville, Glen Urquhart,\n      June, 1851.\n\n\n\n\nADVERTISEMENT.\n\n\nA new and revised Edition of the following Treatise on the\nsuperstitions and amusements of the Highlanders, which was very\nfavourably received by the Public on its original publication, has\noften been called for; but the Author\u2019s urgent professional avocations\ndid not permit of earlier attention to the matter. At the request of\nmany friends and countrymen, the Author has now, however, been induced\nto reprint the present Edition, in order to record more fully the\nfast-fading Tales and Traditions which lately formed, and still to a\ncertain extent form, the Winter\u2019s Evening Entertainments of the happy\nHighland Homes.\n\n  _Viewville, Glen Urquhart,\n      July, 1851._\n\n\n\n\nPREFACE.\n\n\nNo part of the United Kingdom has of late years attracted a greater\nportion of public attention than the Highlands of Scotland. Formerly\nisolated as the inhabitants were from their fellow subjects, by a\ndifferent language and separate interests, their character was but\nlittle known and less admired. Devoted to their chiefs and feudal\ninstitutions, they entertained a sovereign contempt for their\nneighbours; and, in their occasional intercourse with them, displayed\nfeelings and manners little calculated to gain confidence or secure\nesteem.\n\nBut when the Rebellion in 1745, and its consequences, nearly\nannihilated feudal power, and broke down the wall of partition, by\nwhich the mountaineer was so long divided from the inhabitant of\nthe plain, a new light was reflected upon his manners and habits.\nThe gradual establishment of commercial and friendly relations with\nthe inhabitants of other countries, accelerated the decay of mutual\nprejudices; and the virtues of the Highlander, which were previously\nreserved for home consumption, were now duly appreciated by the\nworld. He no longer appeared the rude and unprincipled depredator,\nbut the generous and disinterested character, whose romantic and\nchivalrous habits were rendered peculiarly interesting, as the remains\nof those boldly defined virtues which distinguished our primitive\nancestors. Accordingly, the genius of the age became speedily alive to\nthe importance of so novel and interesting a character. Shaping its\ncourse to the Highland mountains, it discovered among their unexplored\nrecesses, those plentiful materials, on which are founded some of the\nmost splendid works which adorn the circle of British literature.\n\nNor have all those superstructures yet exhausted so fertile a mine.\nNotwithstanding all the research that has been employed in tracing\nthe origin, and delineating the manners of the inhabitants, and the\nmany ingenious descriptions we have had of their local scenery, there\nare still many hidden treasures left for discovery, which presently\nlanguish in obscurity. This observation applies with great truth to\nthose more remote and romantic regions, which, from their secluded\nsituations, had been long inaccessible to the approach of learning and\ngenius; and where the native inhabitants, from want of intercourse\nwith their more refined and effeminate countrymen, are the true\nrepresentatives of our ancient forefathers in their various feelings\nand habits.\n\nOf the manners and character of this noble and poetic race of\nmountaineers, little was known further than what may be collected from\nthe manners of their contemporaries, in more accessible parts of the\ncountry. The great defect which especially exists in the delineation of\nthe Highlander\u2019s superstitions, becomes peculiarly apparent to one, who\nhad an opportunity of investigating those relics of the less polished\nages of the world, as they are still exhibited in the habits of the\npeople of whom we are writing. Many of the more prominent and common\nfeatures of this branch of our national peculiarities have, indeed,\nbeen long ago celebrated by the pens of the immortal Burns, Ramsay, Sir\nWalter Scott, and others of less note, while much light has been thrown\non the general character of the Scottish Highlander, by the ingenious\nMrs. Grant of Laggan, and the gallant General Stewart of Garth; but\nthe more interesting and latent peculiarities have been left to expire\nin the dark. The want of a complete and systematic account of the\nHighland and Scottish Superstitions, is a desideratum in our national\nliterature, which the philosophic mind will readily regret; and this\nregret will be the more sincere on reflecting, that, from the fading\naspects those interesting relics have now assumed, it is a desideratum\nwhich, in the course of a few years, cannot be supplied. The decline\nof popular romance is keeping pace with the progress of knowledge and\ncivilization,--which, as they illumine the unenlightened mind, open\nit to the folly of its prejudices; and thus the time is hastening its\napproach, when the natives of our remotest glens shall be no longer\ninspired with reverence for the fairy turret, nor shall their social\ncircle be contracted by the frightful tale.\n\nFar be it, however, from the writer of these pages to wish the reign\nof superstition prolonged. But, while he would hail with delight,\nthe total extirpation of every prejudice tending to enslave the\nmental energy of the noble Gael, he would as ardently desire their\nperpetuation on the page of history, as his ancient peculiarities.\nDivested as they will soon be of their formidable character, we would\npreserve them as the most ancient relics we could transmit to our\nposterity, to whom, in the course of a few centuries, they may appear\nas preposterous and incredible, as the Poems of Ossian do now to the\nmore sceptical part of the present generation.\n\nIt was not, however, the writer\u2019s conviction of the utility of such a\nwork as this alone, that induced him to undertake a task for which, he\nis afraid, he will be found to have been ill qualified. A considerable\ntime ago, and at a very early period of life, an impaired state of\nhealth rendered it necessary for him to abandon his professional\nlabours for a time, and to retire from the metropolis to the place of\nhis nativity. The lassitude of mind consequent on a total remission\nfrom all employment, induced him to seek some rational source of\namusement; and the idea of investigating the opinions and customs\nof his countrymen, was suggested to him by various circumstances,\nas likely to afford instruction as well as entertainment. His\nopportunities were most ample, and his task of course, comparatively\neasy. Surrounded by the most original, brave, and ingenious class of\nHighlanders existing, and possessing considerable knowledge of their\nlanguage and manners, the writer found it no difficult matter to become\ncompletely acquainted with their prejudices and habits. By visiting\nthe most celebrated professors of traditional lore in the district,\nhe speedily acquired not only a fundamental knowledge of the reigning\nprinciples of superstition but likewise an inexhaustible store of tales\nand traditions. And by mingling occasionally with the peasantry in\ntheir public and private festivities, he was enabled, from personal\nobservation, to draw faithful portraits of those scenes of mirth and\nfestivity, for which the inhabitants are so eminently distinguished.\nThe result of his observations afforded him so much satisfaction that\nhe thought it worth while from time to time, to commit the particulars\nto paper,--not with the view of urging them on the public, but for his\nown private amusement. But the increasing avidity with which traits\nof the Highland Superstitions have been received as developed in the\ntales of the day, suggested to him the idea of submitting his gleanings\nto the public, in the form of a detailed account of the Superstitions\nand Festivities of the Highlanders of Scotland; and he hopes, however\ndefective may be its execution, the design is not altogether unworthy\nof public patronage.\n\nTo arrange his gleanings in a connected and systematic order, was an\nundertaking far more tedious than the collection of them. The traits of\nHighland superstition are of so various and heterogeneous a character,\nthat it appeared almost wholly impracticable to connect and digest them\ninto the form of a connected narrative; and yet in any other shape\nthey would necessarily loose much of the interest which they possess\nin their present form. Sensible of this he has endeavoured to the best\nof his ability, to arrange the different traits under their proper\nheads, in the most systematic and connected manner practicable, without\nintroducing extraneous matter, which would not only destroy the native\ncomplexion of the subject, but also swell the limits of the work. By\nexcluding solemn dissertation from such ludicrous relations as the\nfollowing, he has been enabled to compress many particulars into little\nspace, while his delineations possess a greater degree of truth and\nfidelity. To illustrate the various traits set forth, the writer has\ninterspersed his delineations with a collection of the most popular\ntales of the day. These tales, whether they be the creation of the\nimagination, or the offspring of the credulity of their own original\nauthors, cannot now fail to interest the philosopher or the antiquary,\nwhile they may amuse the less profound. For, utterly destitute of all\nprobability, and broadly ludicrous as they may appear to the polished\nreader, they are, nevertheless, those interesting channels, by which\nthe feelings and habits of our earliest forefathers have been kept\nalive and transmitted down, through so many changeful ages, to their\nposterity of the present day.\n\nThe length of those primitive relations is necessarily much abridged,\nbut a strict regard has been had to their original style and\nphraseology. The language is almost entirely borrowed from the mouth\nof the Highland narrator, and translated, it is hoped, in a manner so\nsimple and unvarnished, as to be perfectly intelligible to the capacity\nof the peasant, for whose fire-side entertainment this little volume\nmay, perhaps, be peculiarly adapted.\n\n\n\n\nCONTENTS.\n\n\n                                                           Page.\n\n                     PART I.--GHOSTS\n\n  CHAP. 1.--Of the Highland Ghosts in General                  1\n\n        2.--Of the Ghost in his co-existent State--His\n            personal Similitudes and Habits                   10\n\n        3.--Of the Ghost in his Intermediate State--His\n            Similitudes and Habits                            18\n\n        4.--Of the Ghost in his Post-existent State           24\n            Safeguards from Ghosts                            34\n\n\n                     PART II.--FAIRIES                        37\n\n  CHAP. 1.--Origin and Genealogy of the Fairies               39\n\n        2.--Similitude of the Fairy                           43\n\n        3.--Of the Fairies as a Community--Their\n            Political Principles and Ingenious\n            Habits                                            49\n\n        4.--Of their Domestic Economy and Festive\n            Habits                                            61\n\n        5.--Of the Passions and Propensities of\n            the Fairies                                       69\n\n        6.--Of the Fairy\u2019s Embezzling and Criminal\n            Propensities                                      73\n\n\n                     PART III.--BROWNIES                      93\n\n                     PART IV.--WATER-KELPIES                  99\n\n                     PART V.--SPUNKIES                       109\n\n                     PART VI.--WITCHCRAFT                    113\n\n  CHAP. 1.--Origin and History of Witchcraft                 115\n\n        2.--Of the Agents, Qualifications, and\n            Ceremonies of their Constitution                 118\n\n        3.--Of the Personal Similitude of the\n            Agents or Members of the Craft                   125\n\n        4.--Of their Professional Powers and\n            Practices                                        127\n\n        5.--Of the Witch\u2019s Powers of Transformation          141\n\n        6.--Safeguards from Witchcraft                       145\n\n\n         PART VII.--HIGHLAND FESTIVE AMUSEMENTS              157\n\n            Hallowe\u2019en                                       159\n\n            Christmas                                        165\n\n            New-Year\u2019s Eve                                   172\n\n            Fasten\u2019s Eve                                     178\n\n            Beltane Eve                                      180\n\n            Christenings                                     183\n\n            Weddings                                         186\n\n            Wakes                                            195\n\n            Funerals                                         197\n\n\n\n\nTHE\n\nHIGHLAND SUPERSTITIONS.\n\n\n\n\nPART I.\n\n  \u201cThe gleaming path of the steel winds through the gloomy ghost. The\n  form fell shapeless into air, like a column of smoke which the staff\n  of the boy disturbs as it rises from the half-extinguished furnace.\u201d\n\n                                                               OSSIAN.\n\n\n\n\n\nTHE\n\nHIGHLAND SUPERSTITIONS.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER I.\n\nOF THE HIGHLAND GHOSTS IN GENERAL.\n\n\nOf whatever country, station, or character the reader may be, we\npresume it will be unnecessary for us, on this our outset, to intrude\nupon his time by entering into a logical definition of the term\n_Ghost_. There is perhaps no nation or clime, from California to\nJapan, where that very ancient and fantastic race of beings called\nGhosts is not, under different terms and different characters, more or\nless familiar to the inhabitants. We do not mean, however, to follow\nthis fleeting race of patriarchs throughout their wide course of\nwandering and colonisation from the beginning of time to the present\nday--as, in all likelihood, our research would turn out equally arduous\nand unprofitable; we confine our lucubrations to the colony of the\ntribe which, from time immemorial, have settled themselves among the\ninhabitants of the Highland Mountains.\n\nBe it known then to the reader, that, so early as the days of Ossian,\nthe son of Fingal, and ever since, ghosts have been at all times\na plentiful commodity among the hills of Caledonia. Every native\nHighlander has allied to him, from his birth, one of those airy\nbeings in the character of an auxiliary or helpmate, who continues\nhis companion, not only during all the days of the Highlander\u2019s life,\nbut also for an indefinite period of time after his decease. It will\nbe readily believed that this ancient class of our mountaineers\ncannot have descended through so many changeful ages of the world\nwithout sharing, in some measure, those revolutions of manners and\nhabits to which all classes and communities of people are equally\nliable. Accordingly the ghost has suffered as great a degeneracy\nfrom that majesty of person and chivalry of habits which anciently\ndistinguished the primitive inhabitants of Caledonia, as his mortal\ncontemporary, man. Unlike the present puny, green, worm-eaten effigies\nthat now-a-days stalk about our premises, and, like the cameleon, feed\nupon the air, the ancient race of Highland ghosts were a set of stout,\nlusty, sociable ghosts, \u201c_as tall as a pine, and as broad as a house_.\u201d\nDiffering widely in his habits from those of his posterity, the ghost\nof antiquity would enter the habitation of man, descant a lee-long\nnight upon the news of the times, until the long-wished-for supper was\nonce prepared, when this pattern of frankness and good living would\ninvite himself to the table, and do as much justice to a bicker of\nHighland crowdie as his earthly contemporaries. Indeed, if all tales be\ntrue, many centuries are not elapsed since those social practices of\nthe ghosts of the day proved an eminent pest to society. With voracious\nappetites, those greedy gormandizers were in the habit of visiting the\nhumble hamlets, where superabundance of store seldom resided, and of\nravishing from the grasp of a starving progeny the meagre fare allotted\nto their support.\n\nBeyond their personal attractions, however, it is believed they\ndisplayed few enviable qualities; for, besides their continual\ndepredations on the goods and chattels of the adjacent hamlets, they\nwere ill-natured and cruel, and cared not a spittle for woman or child.\nThe truth of this remark is well exemplified in the history of two\ncelebrated ghosts, who \u201c_once upon a time_\u201d lived, or rather existed,\nin the Wilds of _Craig-Aulnaic_, a romantic place in the district of\nStrathdown, Banffshire. The one was a male, and the other a female. The\nmale was called _Fhua Mhoir Bein Baynac_, after one of the mountains\nof Glenavon, where at one time he resided; and the female was called\n_Clashnichd Aulnaic_, from her having had her abode in _Craig-Aulnaic_.\nBut, although the great ghost of _Ben-Baynac_ was bound, by the\ncommon ties of nature and of honour, to protect and cherish his\nweaker companion, _Clashnichd Aulnaic_, yet he often treated her in\nthe most cruel and unfeeling manner. In the dead of night, when the\nsurrounding hamlets were buried in deep repose, and when nothing else\ndisturbed the solemn stillness of the midnight scene, \u201coft,\u201d says our\nnarrator, \u201cwould the shrill shrieks of poor _Clashnichd_ burst upon the\nslumberer\u2019s ears, and awake him to any thing but pleasant reflections.\u201d\n\nBut of all those who were incommoded by the noisy and unseemly quarrels\nof these two ghosts, James _Owre_ or Gray, the tenant of the farm of\nBalbig of Delnabo, was the greatest sufferer. From the proximity of his\nabode to their haunts, it was the misfortune of himself and family to\nbe the nightly audience of _Clashnichd\u2019s_ cries and lamentations, which\nthey considered any thing but agreeable entertainment.\n\nOne day, as James Gray was on his rounds looking after his sheep, he\nhappened to fall in with _Clashnichd_, the Ghost of Aulnaic, with whom\nhe entered into a long conversation. In the course of this conversation\nhe took occasion to remonstrate with her on the very disagreeable\ndisturbance she caused himself and family, by her wild and unearthly\ncries,--cries which, he said, few mortals could relish in the dreary\nhours of midnight. Poor _Clashnichd_, by way of apology for her\nconduct, gave James Gray a sad account of her usage, detailing at full\nlength the series of cruelties committed upon her by _Ben-Baynac_. From\nthis account, it appeared that her cohabitation with the latter was\nby no means a matter of choice with _Clashnichd_; on the contrary, it\nappeared that she had, for a long time, led a life of celibacy with\nmuch comfort, residing in a snug dwelling, as already mentioned, in the\nwilds of Craig-Aulnaic; but _Ben-Baynac_ having unfortunately taken\nit into his head to pay her a visit, he took a fancy, not to herself,\nbut her dwelling, of which, in his own name and authority, he took\nimmediate possession, and soon after expelled poor _Clashnichd_, with\nmany stripes, from her natural inheritance; while, not satisfied with\ninvading and depriving her of her just rights, he was in the habit of\nfollowing her into her private haunts, not with the view of offering\nher any endearments, but for the purpose of inflicting on her person\nevery degrading torment which his brain could invent.\n\nSuch a moving relation could not fail to affect the generous heart\nof James Gray, who determined from that moment to risk life and limb\nin order to vindicate the rights and revenge the wrongs of poor\n_Clashnichd_ the Ghost of Craig-Aulnaic. He therefore took good care to\ninterrogate his new _proteg\u00e9_ touching the nature of her oppressor\u2019s\nconstitution, whether he was of that _killable_ species of ghost\nthat could be shot with a silver sixpence, or if there was any other\nweapon that could possibly accomplish his annihilation. _Clashnichd_\ninformed him that she had occasion to know that _Ben-Baynac_ was\nwholly invulnerable to all the weapons of man, with the exception of\na large mole on his left breast, which was no doubt penetrable by\nsilver or steel; but that, from the specimens she had of his personal\nprowess and strength, it were vain for mere man to attempt to combat\n_Ben-Baynac_ the great ghost. Confiding, however, in his expertness as\nan archer--for he was allowed to be the best marksman of his age--James\nGray told _Clashnichd_ he did not fear him with all his might,--that\n_he_ was his man; and desired her, moreover, next time he chose to\nrepeat his incivilities to her, to apply to him, James Gray, for\nredress.\n\nIt was not long ere he had an opportunity of fulfilling his\npromises. _Ben-Baynac_ having one night, in the want of better\namusement, entertained himself by inflicting an inhuman castigation\non _Clashnichd_, she lost no time in waiting on James Gray, with a\nfull and particular account of it. She found him smoking his _cutty_,\nand unbuttoning his habiliments for bed; but, notwithstanding the\ninconvenience of the hour, James needed no great persuasion to induce\nhim to proceed directly along with _Clashnichd_ to hold a communing\nwith their friend _Ben-Baynac_ the great ghost. _Clashnichd_ was a\nstout sturdy hussey, who understood the knack of travelling much\nbetter than _our_ women do. She expressed a wish that, for the sake of\nexpedition, James Gray would mount himself on her ample shoulders, a\nmotion to which the latter agreed; and a few minutes brought them close\nto the scene of _Ben-Baynac\u2019s_ residence. As they approached his haunt,\nhe came forth to meet them, with looks and gestures which did not at\nall indicate a cordial welcome. It was a fine moonlight night, and they\ncould easily observe his actions. Poor _Clashnichd_ was now sorely\nafraid of the great ghost. Apprehending instant destruction from his\nfury, she exclaimed to James Gray that they would be both dead people,\nand that immediately, unless James could hit with an arrow the mole\nwhich covered _Ben-Baynac\u2019s_ heart. This was not so difficult a task as\nJames had hitherto apprehended it. The mole was as large as a common\nbonnet, and yet nowise disproportioned to the natural size of his body,\nfor he certainly was a great and a mighty ghost. _Ben-Baynac_ cried out\nto James Gray, that he would soon make eagle\u2019s-meat of him; and certain\nit is, such was his intention, had not James Gray so effectually\nstopped him from the execution of it. Raising his bow to his eye when\nwithin a few yards of _Ben-Baynac_, he took an important aim; the\narrow flew--it hit--a yell from _Ben-Baynac_ announced its fatality. A\nhideous howl re-echoed from the surrounding mountains, responsive to\nthe groans of a thousand ghosts; and _Ben-Baynac_, like the smoke of a\nshot, evanished into air.[A]\n\n_Clashnichd_, the Ghost of Aulnaic, now found herself emancipated\nfrom the most abject state of slavery, and restored to freedom and\nliberty, through the invincible courage of James Gray. Overpowered\nwith gratitude, she fell at James Gray\u2019s feet, and vowed to devote\nthe whole of her time and talents towards his service and prosperity.\nMeanwhile, being anxious to have her remaining goods and furniture\nremoved to her former dwelling, whence she had been so iniquitously\nexpelled by _Ben-Baynac_ the great ghost, she requested of her new\nmaster the use of his horses to remove them. James observing on the\nadjacent hill a flock of deer, and wishing to have a trial of his new\nservant\u2019s sagacity or expertness, told her those were his horses,--she\nwas welcome to the use of them; desiring, when she had done with them,\nthat she would inclose them in his stable. _Clashnichd_ then proceeded\nto make use of the horses, and James Gray returned home to enjoy his\nnight\u2019s rest.\n\nScarce had he reached his arm-chair, and reclined his cheek on\nhis hand, to ruminate over the bold adventure of the night, when\n_Clashnichd_ entered, with her \u201cbreath in her throat,\u201d and venting the\nbitterest complaints at the unruliness of his horses, which had broken\none-half of her furniture, and caused more trouble in the stabling of\nthem than their services were worth. \u201cOh! they are stabled, then?\u201d\ninquired James Gray. _Clashnichd_ replied in the affirmative. \u201cVery\nwell,\u201d rejoined James, \u201cthey shall be tame enough to-morrow.\u201d\n\nFrom this specimen of _Clashnichd_ the Ghost of Craig-Aulnaic\u2019s\nexpertness, it will be seen what a valuable acquisition her service\nproved to James Gray and his young family; of which, however, they were\ntoo speedily deprived by a most unfortunate accident. From the sequel\nof the story, and of which the foregoing is but an extract, it appears\nthat poor _Clashnichd_ was but too deeply addicted to those guzzling\npropensities which at that time rendered her kin so obnoxious to their\nhuman neighbours. She was consequently in the habit of visiting her\nfriends much oftener than she was invited, and, in the course of such\nvisits, was never very scrupulous in making free with any eatables that\nfell within the circle of her observation.\n\nOne day, while engaged on a foraging expedition of this description,\nshe happened to enter the Mill of Delnabo, which was inhabited in those\ndays by the miller\u2019s family. She found the miller\u2019s wife engaged in\nroasting a large gridiron of fine savoury fish, the agreeable effluvia\nproceeding from which perhaps occasioned her visit. With the usual\ninquiries after the health of the miller and his family, _Clashnichd_\nproceeded, with the greatest familiarity and good humour, to make\nherself comfortable at the expense of their entertainment. But the\nmiller\u2019s wife, enraged at the loss of her fish, and not relishing such\nunwelcome familiarity, punished the unfortunate _Clashnichd_ rather\ntoo severely for her freedom. It happened that there was at the time\na large caldron of boiling water suspended over the fire, and this\ncaldron the beldam of a miller\u2019s wife overturned in _Clashnichd\u2019s_\nbosom! Scalded beyond recovery, she fled up the wilds of Craig-Aulnaic,\nuttering the most melancholy lamentations, nor has she been ever since\nheard of to the present day.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER II.\n\nOF THE GHOST IN HIS CO-EXISTENT STATE--HIS PERSONAL SIMILITUDES AND\nHABITS.\n\n\nHaving, in the preceding chapter, endeavoured, as briefly as possible,\nto throw some light upon the general character of the primitive race\nof Highland ghosts in order to enable the reader to judge of the\ndifference of manners which distinguished them from the modern ghosts,\nwe shall now proceed to the consideration of the latter during the\ninterval betwixt the birth and the eve of the death of the mortal, and\nwhich, for the sake of illustration, we shall call his co-existent\nstate.\n\nFrom the birth of the mortal to the eve of his death, the ghost, in\npoint of similitude, is a perfect counterpart or representative of his\nearthly yoke-fellow. As the child grows towards manhood, his ghost\nkeeps pace with him, and so exactly do they resemble each other in the\nfeatures, complexions, and aspect, when seen by a third party, that,\nwithout the use of prescribed spells, no human observer can distinguish\nthe mortal from the immortal. Nor is this resemblance confined to the\npersonal appearance alone--it is likewise extended to the habiliments.\nWhether the mortal equips himself in the Highland garb or Lowland\ncostume, the imitative ghost instantly assumes the same attire. The\nbonnet or the hat, the philibeg or the trews, are equally convenient\nand agreeable to him; for in this solitary particular he has never been\nknown to dissent from his human partner.\n\nDuring this period the ghost is supposed either to accompany or\nprecede, at some distance, his human partner (of course invisible\nto those not possessing the second-sight) in all those multifarious\njourneys and duties which the mortal performs throughout the course\nof his eventful life, and the moral utility of the ghost is supposed\nto consist in propitiating the mortal\u2019s undertakings by guarding them\nfrom the influence of evil spirits. But, however this may be, it is a\nwell-known fact, that _all_ ghosts do not devote the whole of their\ntime to the discharge of this commendable duty. Common fame errs much\nif those capricious beings do not love their own pleasures more than\ntheir partner\u2019s interest; and this their negligence is a subject of\nstill deeper regret, when we consider the nature of those practices in\nwhich they employ their time.\n\nIf the appetites of the modern ghost are better restrained than those\nof his predecessors were in the \u201cgreedy times\u201d we have written of,\nthe mischievous habits he has acquired in lieu of his predecessor\u2019s\nsocial accomplishments are to some far more calamitous than even\n_Clashnichd\u2019s_ practices. It is true, a dose of Highland crowdie would\nbut ill agree with the refined delicacy of the stomach of the former.\nSuch squeamish appetites must look out for more delicate and savoury\nfood. But if the modern ghost does not possess those keen digestive\npowers which distinguished _Clashnichd_, he inherits all the ill\nnature of _Ben-Baynac_, without one-third of his might; and we question\nmuch if his regard for the fair sex is a bit more tender.\n\nInstead of being the peaceable and industrious associate of his\nyoke-fellow, it is a common practice with the ghost of the present day\nto prowl about the country with the laudable intention of committing\nall the mischief in his power to the friends and acquaintances of\nhis partner. Planting himself in some wild and convenient position,\nhe will open on the ears of the slumbering inhabitants, or the more\nunfortunate traveller, his wild and unearthly cries, highly gratified,\nno doubt, at the paralyzing effect they produce on his audience. Of the\nhideousness of these cries nothing short of auric demonstration can\nconvey an adequate conception. Partaking at once of all that is horrid\nand unnatural, if any resemblance to them can be figured, we are told\nit is the \u201cexpiring shrieks of a goat under the butcher\u2019s knife, or the\nhowling of a dog in a solitary cavern.\u201d Proportioned to the strength\nof the ghost, the cry is loud or faint, and has something so peculiar\nin it, that the least note never fails to give the hearer a temporary\npalsy.\n\nBut were his practices confined to those comparatively harmless\nproceedings, the conduct of the ghost would be far less intolerable\nthan it is. His vocal entertainments, however hurtful they sometimes\nprove to those unfortunate enough to hear them, are not sufficiently\niniquitous to satisfy the extent of his malice. Being, no doubt, well\ndisciplined in the noble and fashionable art of pugilism by long\nexperience and practice among his kindred species, never remarkable\nfor their social harmony, he is, perhaps, the best bruiser in the\nuniverse, and will never be backward in showing those people who come\nin his way his expertness in this science. As, however, the greatest\npart of his human contemporaries are, perhaps, too _strikingly_\nconvinced of his decided superiority, few of them are disposed to\nhazard a _set-to_ with so pithy a combatant, and it is consequently no\neasy matter for the ghost to fall in with those who are inclined to\nfight merely for fighting\u2019s sake. Finding, therefore, so few willing\nto quarrel with him in that open and gentlemanlike manner usual in\nthose countries, the fertility of his noddle suggests to him the more\nindirect or Irish mode of proceeding; and it is to this ingenious mode\nof raising a row that the Modern Ghost owes the most of his laurels.\nPresenting himself before the unsuspecting traveller in the servile\nappearance of a scabbed colt, or some such equally contemptible animal,\nhe will in this guise place himself in the passenger\u2019s way, as if to\ngraze by the road\u2019s side. Raising his staff, the passenger will very\naptly apply it to the colt\u2019s back to clear his way, when the malicious\nanimal will instantly retort, and a conflict ensues, in which the\nunwary transgressor is severely punished for his indiscretion.\n\nIn former times, however, and even in recent times, we have heard\nof some instances where these wanton pugilists proceeded upon more\nhonourable and systematic principles than they do at present. Instead\nof the dastardly mode of cajoling his adversary into a fight by\nstratagem, and conquering him by surprise, the warlike bogle of the\nlast century carried about with him flails, cudgels, and such other\npithy weapons as were suitable to the spirit of the times,--and on his\nmeeting with a human adventurer who had no objection to become his\nantagonist, his choice of weapons was left with the latter. Hence it\nfollowed that this equitable and impartial mode of proceeding ended not\nunfrequently to the ghost\u2019s great disadvantage; for the _human_ bullies\nof those days were so diligently trained up to the handling of a flail\nor the wielding of a cudgel, that their ghostly combatants, with all\ntheir might and dexterity, have often been the first to propose an\narmistice. To multiply details of such encounters would be as tedious\nas they are numerous and similar; a single narrative, communicated to\nthe compiler by the grand-nephew of the person concerned, will, we\nsuppose, be sufficient to confirm our statements.\n\n\u201cLate one night, as my grand-uncle Lachlan _Dhu_ Macpherson, who was\nwell known as the best fiddler of his day, was returning home from a\nball, at which he had acted as a musician, he had occasion to pass\nthrough the once haunted Bog of Torrans. Now, it happened at that time\nthat that Bog was frequented by a huge bogle or ghost, who was of a\nmost mischievous disposition, and took particular pleasure in abusing\nevery traveller who had occasion to pass through the place betwixt the\ntwilight at night and cock-crowing in the morning. Suspecting much that\nhe would also come in for a share of his abuse, my grand-uncle made up\nhis mind, in the course of his progress, to return him any _civilities_\nwhich he might think meet to offer him. On arriving on the spot, he\nfound his suspicions were too well grounded; for whom did he see but\nthe Ghost of Bogandoran, apparently ready waiting him, and seeming by\nhis ghastly grin not a little overjoyed at the meeting? Then marching\nup to my grand-uncle, the bogle clapt a huge club into his hand, and\nfurnishing himself with one of the same dimensions, he put a spittle\nin his hand, and deliberately commenced the combat. My grand-uncle\nreturned the salute with equal spirit, and so ably did both parties ply\ntheir batons, that for a while the issue of the combat was extremely\ndoubtful. At length, however, the fiddler could easily discover that\nhis opponent\u2019s vigour was much in the fagging order. Picking up renewed\ncourage in consequence, my grand-uncle, the fiddler, plied the ghost\nwith renovated vigour, and after a stout resistance, in the course of\nwhich both parties were seriously handled, the Ghost of Bogandoran\nthought it prudent to give up the night.\n\n\u201cAt the same time, filled, no doubt, with great indignation at this\nsignal defeat, it seems the ghost resolved to re-engage my grand-uncle\non some other occasion, under more favourable circumstances. Not long\nafter, as my grand-uncle was returning home quite unattended from\nanother ball in the Braes of the country, he had just entered the\nhollow of Auldichoish, well known for its \u2018_eery_\u2019 properties, when\nlo! who presented himself to his view on the adjacent eminence but his\nold friend of Bogandoran, advancing as large as the gable of a house,\nputting himself in the most threatening and fighting attitudes?\n\n\u201cLooking on the very dangerous nature of the ground in which they were\nmet, and feeling no anxiety for a second encounter with a combatant\nof his weight, in a situation so little desirable, the fiddler would\nhave willingly deferred the settlement of their differences till a\nmore convenient season. He, accordingly, assuming the most submissive\naspect in the world, endeavoured to pass by his champion in peace,\nbut in vain. Longing, no doubt, to retrieve the disgrace of his late\ndiscomfiture, the bogle instantly seized the fiddler, and attempted\nwith all his might to pull the latter down the precipice, with the\ndiabolical intention, it is supposed, of drowning him in the river Avon\nbelow. In this pious design the bogle was happily frustrated by the\nintervention of some trees which grew in the precipice, and to which my\nunhappy grand-uncle clung with the zeal of a drowning man. The enraged\nghost finding it impossible to extricate him from those friendly trees,\nand resolving, at all events, to be revenged of him, he fell upon\nmaltreating the fiddler with his hands and feet in the most inhuman\nmanner.\n\n\u201cSuch gross indignities my worthy grand-uncle was not accustomed\nto, and being incensed beyond all measure at the liberties taken by\nBogandoran, he resolved again to try his mettle, whether life or\ndeath should be the consequence. Having no other weapon wherewith to\ndefend himself but his _biodag_, which, considering the nature of his\nopponent\u2019s constitution, he suspected much would be of little avail\nto him--I say, in the absence of any other weapon, he sheathed the\n_biodag_ three times in the Ghost of Bogandoran\u2019s belly. And what\nwas the consequence? why, to the great astonishment of my courageous\nforefather, the ghost fell down cold-dead at his feet, and was never\nmore seen or heard of.\u201d\n\nThus it will be seen that in those chivalrous days the stout and\nenergetic sons of Caledonia had courage and prowess enough to cope with\nthose powerful warriors, however unequally matched, with spirit and\neven with success. In the present effeminate times, we hear of none\nthat will even contend with those miserable scarecrows of the present\nday. Overcome, more by fear than by force, at the first encounter they\nthrow themselves down, and, like the lamb beneath the fox, tamely\nsubmit to the most abusive treatment. Hence, encouraged by those\nservile submissions, it is almost incredible to what extent those\ninvincible _corps_ sometimes carry their audacity. We have heard of not\na few of them, who having, in the first place, intruded their company\non peaceable travellers on the public road, in the next place offered\nthem the most provoking indignities,--one time piping their unearthly\ncries into the passenger\u2019s ears, at another time tripping him up by\nthe heels, and even committing indecencies which delicacy forbids us\nto repeat, while the fears and agitation manifested by the traveller\nconstituted a subject of great merriment to the mischievous ghost.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER III.\n\nOF THE GHOST IN HIS INTERMEDIATE STATE--HIS SIMILITUDES AND HABITS.\n\n\nA short time previous to the mortal\u2019s death, and when just on the\neve of dissolution, the ghost undergoes a striking revolution in his\nappearance and habits. Seized with the _locked jaw_, and all the other\ndisabilities common to the dead, he then becomes the awful emblem of\ndeath in all its similitudes. Attired in a shroud and all the ensigns\nof the grave, the ghost nocturnally proceeds to the narrow house of his\nfuture residence, and there disappears. He is lighted on his way by a\npale azure-coloured light, of the size of that emitted by a _tallow_\ncandle, which is of a flickering unsteady nature, sometimes vivid, and\nsometimes faint, as the mortal inhales and respires his breath; and,\nin his course towards the grave, he will follow minutely the line of\nmarch destined to be followed by his earthly partner\u2019s approaching\nfuneral. His pace is slow, and his footsteps imperceptible even to a\npassenger; who, although he sees clearly all his trappings, cannot\ndiscern his mode of travelling. To the naked eye the ghost\u2019s visage is\nnot discernible, by reason of the _face-cloth_. There is a very simple\nprocess, however, which has been discovered for enabling a spectator to\ndiscern whose ghost he is, although we never heard of more than one\nperson who had the hardihood to put the experiment in practice.\n\nIt is an admitted fact, in those countries, that a ghost may be\nrecognised, in the appearance of his human partner, on his passing a\nspectator, by the latter\u2019s reversing the cuff of his own coat, or any\nother part of his raiment, which puts an instant stop to the ghost\u2019s\ncareer, and clearly exposes him to the recognition of the courageous\nexperimenter.\n\nA sage philosopher, who had long desired an opportunity of practising\nthis bold experiment, found, \u201clate one night,\u201d when returning home from\na market, a very convenient one. Observing a stout lusty ghost stalking\nvery majestically along the public road, this bold adventurer hesitated\nnot a moment. Clapping himself into a defensive attitude, he reversed\nhis cuff--when, lo! his next-door neighbour\u2019s wife was instantly\nconfronted to his face--clad in death\u2019s awful apparel--the death-candle\nlowing in her throat, and mouth full distended. Such an exhibition was\ntoo appalling to wish for a long interview; and, accordingly, Donald\nDoul, the adventurer, made a motion to be off, but in vain. The unhappy\nman, as if transformed into a stone, could no more move than Lot\u2019s\nwife, and was obliged to stand confronted to his loving companion, both\nequally sparing of their talk, until the crowing of the cock in the\nmorning. Finding himself then released from his uncomfortable stance,\nhe was about to make the best of his way home, to communicate the\nresult of his experiment, when the friendly wife\u2019s ghost thus addressed\nhim: \u201cDonald Doul--Donald Doul--Donald Doul--hear me, and tremble.\nGreat is the hindrance you have caused me this night,--a hindrance for\nwhich you should have been severely punished, but for the friendship\nwhich formerly subsisted between yourself and my partner. Dare not\nagain to pry into the mysteries of the dead. The time will come when\nyou\u2019ll know those secrets.\u201d To this poetical harangue Donald Doul made\nno other reply than a profound obeisance. It is possible, however,\nthe ghost would have proposed a rejoinder, had not a chanticleer, in\nthe adjacent hamlet, emitted his third clarion, at the magic sound of\nwhich the wife\u2019s ghost fairly took to her heels, leaving Donald Doul\nto resume his course homewards without further advice. Satisfied of\nthe interesting nature of the occurrence, and that his reputation for\ncourage and veracity would suffer no diminution from the relation,\nDonald Doul made no secret of what happened. This clearly foretold what\nspeedily took place, the dissolution of the neighbour\u2019s wife, (who, by\nthe way, was dangerously ill at the time,) to the great grief of her\nhusband, and the credit of Donald Doul\u2019s name.\n\nA short time after the ghost, bearing the death-candle, has thus\nbeen seen, the house of the undertaker who is to make the mortal\u2019s\ncoffin will be nightly disturbed by the sounds of saws and knocking\nof hammers, no doubt proceeding from the ghost of the undertaker and\nhis assistants preparing the coffin of the ghost; while invisible\nmessengers will parade the country for necessaries for the ghost\u2019s\nfuneral, or foregoing. And a very imposing and interesting spectacle\nmay be looked for.\n\nThe mortal resigns his breath, and is about to follow the course of the\ndead-candle to his new abode, when _Taish na Tialedh_, or the funeral\nforegoing, takes the road. This is not a paltry spectacle of one ghost,\na sight so common in those countries, but a superb assemblage of them,\nall drest in their best attire, each reflecting lustre on the other. On\nthis occasion, the ghost of every man who is destined to accompany the\nmortal\u2019s funeral will attend, dressed in apparel of the same colour,\nand mounted on a horse of the same appearance, (if he is to have\none,) as his mortal companion on the day of the corporeal interment.\nOn this occasion, too, their characteristic austerity of manners is\ndispensed with. Mellowed, no doubt, by the generous qualities of the\n_Usquebaugh_, the jocund laugh, the jest, and repartee, go slapping\nround, responsive to some mournful dirge proceeding from the defunct\u2019s\nimmediate friends and relations.\n\nIn the motley group, the ghost of a father or brother is easily\nrecognised by his well-known voice and Sabbath vestment. Nay, the\nspectator may even recognise himself, if his senses enable him to\ndiscriminate, joyous or sorry, as occasion suggests, mingling in the\nthrong. In the middle of the procession the coffin is seen, containing,\nwe presume, the _dead ghost_, circled by mourning relatives; and on\nthe front, flanks, and rear of the burden, the company are likewise\nseen approaching and retiring, relieving each other by turns. At\nlength, the noise of horses and tongues, horsemen and footmen, mingled\nindiscriminately together, closes the procession.\n\nThe following account of the _foregoing_ of the funeral of an\nillustrious chief, who died some few score of years ago, (witnessed\nby a man whose veracity was a perfect proverb,) will not, we trust, be\nunacceptable:\n\n\u201cA smith, who had a large family to provide for, was often necessitated\nto occupy his smithy till rather a late hour. One night, in particular,\nas he was turning the key of his smithy door, his notice was attracted\nto the public road, which lay contiguous to the smithy, by a confusion\nof sounds, indicative of the approach of a great concourse of people.\nImmediately there appeared the advanced ranks of a procession, marching\nfour men deep, in tolerable good order, unless occasionally some\nunaccountable circumstance occasioned the fall of a lusty fellow, as\nif he had been shot by a twenty-four pounder. Thunderstruck at the\nnature and number of the marvellous procession, the smith, honest man,\nreclined his back to the door, witnessing a continuation of the same\nprocession for nearly an hour, without discovering any thing further\nof the character of those who composed it, than that they betokened a\nrepletion of the _Usquebaugh_. At length, the appearance of the hearse\nand its awful ensigns, together with the succeeding line of coaches,\ndeveloped the nature of the concern. It was then that the smith\u2019s\nknees began to smite each other, and his hair to stand on an end. The\nrecent demise of this venerable chieftain confirmed his conviction of\nits being a _Taish_, and a very formidable one too. Not choosing to\nsee the rear, he directed his face homewards, whither he fled with\nthe swiftness of younger years, and was not backward in favouring his\nnumerous acquaintances with a full and particular account of the whole\nscene. This induced many honest people to assume the smithy door as\ntheir stance of observation on the day of the funeral, which took place\na few days after; and, to his honour be it told, every circumstance\ndetailed by the smith in his relation accurately happened, even to the\ndecanting of two dogs, and this established the smith\u2019s veracity in all\ntime thereafter.\u201d\n\nAkin to this are all the relations of those good people whose evil\ndestiny it has been to fall in with those ghostly processions, some\nof whom having inadvertently involved themselves into the crowd, were\nrepulsed in every attempt to extricate themselves, until carried along,\nnobody knows how far, by the tumultuous rabble, who seemed to enjoy\nthemselves vastly at the standing hair, protruding eyes, and awry\nvisage of the unconscious intruder.\n\nIn concluding this part of our subject, it is hardly necessary to add,\nthat in two or three days after the ghostly procession, the human or\ncorporeal procession will succeed it, following most minutely and\naccurately every course, winding, and turn taken by the foregoing,\nwhile the dress, conversation, and every other incident attending the\ncompany will be precisely the same.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IV.\n\nOF THE GHOST IN HIS POST-EXISTENT STATE.\n\n\nIt might, no doubt, be readily supposed by the ingenious reader, that\nthe mortal\u2019s decease should be the term of dissolution assigned to the\ncopartnery connection subsisting between the mortal and his ghost, as\nit generally terminates every other engagement into which the people\nof this world enter. The event, however, only serves to blend their\ninterests still more strictly together. Whatever doubt may exist as\nto the ghost\u2019s attention to his partner\u2019s worldly interests in his\nlifetime, his solicitude for his spiritual interest, after the mortal\u2019s\ndeath, is universally acknowledged. He then becomes the sole means of\nremedying past errors, and obtaining redress for past injuries. To\nenable one fully to appreciate a ghost\u2019s utility in the \u201cland of the\nleal,\u201d he must acquaint himself with the nature of the life which the\ndefunct led, whether regular in his habits and moral in his life, or\notherwise, and the particular situation of his affairs at death. If,\nfor instance, a man falls suddenly, like a tree in a storm, whatever\nmay be the situation or circumstances in which he happens to drop,\nso he must lie. In this respect, then, the peculiar advantage of the\nHighlander over his Lowland neighbour becomes perfectly apparent.\nThrough the medium of a faithful ghost and a confidential friend,\ntransactions, as intricate and ravelled as those of the Laird of Coul,\ncan be easily simplified and assorted.\n\nNo man should, therefore, be surprised, if the ghost of some departed\nfriend should take an opportunity of saluting him, and for his own sake\nhe should also lose no time in enabling the awful emissary to declare\nthe purpose of his mission; whoever will defer doing so only increases\nhis own misery, and it is a task, however uncomfortable, that is\nsacredly due to departed friendship; for how many, by yielding to the\ninfluence of cowardly fear, have exposed themselves and their household\nto those nocturnal rackets sometimes raised by those disappointed\nambassadors, whereas a little resolution would not only have averted\nit, but have also greatly conduced to the repose and quietude of an old\nand esteemed acquaintance. The following statement of a circumstance\nwhich, we are told, happened in Strathspey not a great many years ago,\nwill best enforce this counsel:\n\n\u201cNot many years ago there lived in Kincardine of Strathspey a poor\nman, who contracted a severe and sudden illness, which, to the great\ngrief of his family, terminated in his death. From the suddenness of\nthe honest man\u2019s call, he had not time to settle his affairs, and\nthis circumstance, it seems, as might have been supposed, caused him\nno small disquietude in the eternal world. He wished, in particular,\nto have had an axe and a whisky barrel, which he had borrowed of a\nfriend, restored to him; for iron, you must know, in such cases, is\nvery bad. In order, therefore, to have this matter adjusted, the\ndead man commissioned his ghost to wait on a particular friend to\ndisclose to him the circumstance, not doubting in the least but the\nfriend would have bestowed his best attention on the subject. The\nfaithful ghost lost no time in proceeding to get the object of his\nmission accomplished, which, however, turned out rather a difficult\nundertaking, for it was no easy matter for the ghost to procure a\nconference with the friend on the business. One glimpse of the former\nnever failed to communicate to the latter the feet of a roe, nor could\nall his dexterity bring the matter to a bearing. At length, exasperated\nby a long course of night watching and useless travelling, the wily\ncommissioner had recourse to an expedient which ultimately effected\nhis purpose. As soon as the sun went down every evening, the ghost\nopened a cannonade of bricks and stones upon the unhappy friend and the\ninmates of his house, which did not terminate till cock-crowing in the\nmorning; and so expert an archer was this pawky ghost, that he scarcely\never missed an aim, while every stroke would kill a bullock. Smarting\nunder the effect of this unseasonable chastisement, the friend and\nhis family raised the most outrageous clamour at their unaccountable\nmisfortune, which induced some of their neighbours nightly to assemble\nin considerable bodies to protect them from this nocturnal warfare. But\nthe wily ghost, far from relaxing his operations on that account, only\nplied them with additional vigour, sparing neither sex nor age in his\nsweeping career. All sorts of missiles announced themselves, rebounding\non the shoulders of the protectors as well as the protected, the pithy\nweight of which, and the unaccountable manner in which they were\nflung, convinced the sufferers they were not flung by mortal hand. All\nthe acquaintances of the friend, therefore, urged on him to challenge\nthe invisible demon who thus savagely persecuted him at the hour of\nmidnight, in order to afford the latter an opportunity of explaining\nhis business, and the reason of his cruel and unchristian conduct.\nBut this advice the friend of the deceased was disposed to consider\na dernier resort, and one that required some cool consideration.\nAt length, rendered quite desperate by a series of unparalleled\npersecutions, which rendered him as thin in body as a silver sixpence,\nthe goodman came to a final determination to call the ghost to account\nthe very first opportunity, for his mean and pusillanimous attacks on\nhimself and poor family. Accordingly, one night, on receiving a tart\npill on the cheek, which gave him an ear-ache, and which wonderfully\nimproved his courage, the goodman marched forth, with a mixture of rage\nand fear, demanding of the unfeeling ghost, in a voice resembling the\nfalling notes of the gamut, \u2018Wha-a-t i-i-s you-r bus-n-ess wi\u2019 m-my\nho-use a-and fa-fa-fa-mi-ly?\u2019 The ghost instantly appeared happy to\nanswer the question; but, ere he could do so, it was necessary to go\nthrough a ceremony, which is no less curious than it is disagreeable to\nthe feelings of the parties concerned. This ceremony consists in the\n_mortal\u2019s_ embracing the ghost, and raising his feet from the ground,\nso as to allow the wind to pass between the soles of his feet and the\nground, which enables the tongue-tied ghost to speak a volume. What was\nthen to be done in this particular case? Encouraged by the eloquent\ncheers and arguments held forth to him, through the crevices of his\nhouse, by his anxious family, he made several attempts to encircle the\nawful emissary in his arms, which, by a sort of mechanical motion,\nreceded from the embrace; and it was not without great difficulty he\ncould persuade himself to give a friendly embrace to this mischievous\nghost; this, however, he did at last,--seizing him as he would a\nbush of thorns. The ghost\u2019s long-locked jaws now began to speak in\nso sepulchral a tone as to palsy all who heard it. The friend of the\ndeceased promised strict attention to all the ghost\u2019s injunctions,\nupon which he evanished in a flame of fire, leaving the unhappy man\nscarce able to totter to his chair. A minute compliance with all his\ninstructions rendered a second visit from the ghost unnecessary--and\nthis was no small matter of comfort to the friend.\u201d\n\nThis frigid display of a Highlandman\u2019s courage will appear very\ncontemptible when compared to the undaunted resolution of the female\nalluded to in the following story:\n\n\u201cAbout forty or fifty years ago, a native of Strathdown, whose manner\nof living (like that of other folks) did not qualify him for a sudden\ndeath, was unfortunately drowned in the following manner: While in\nthe act of cutting down a tree, in a steep precipice pending over the\nriver Avon, he slipped his footing--fell headlong into the abyss below,\nand rose no more. His lamentable fate was speedily discovered, his\nbody interred, and his affairs arranged in the best possible order.\nTime, the parent of oblivion, soon rendered his name extinct among\nthe living, and he was no longer heard of; when, on a certain day, in\nthe height of it, the deceased appeared in his human likeness at the\nwindow of a female friend. On the woman\u2019s exhibiting some surprise\nand terror at his appearance, the drowned man called to her to fear\nnothing, but to come forth and speak with him,--for it seems he had\nbeen enabled to speak without the \u2018_dead-lift_.\u2019 The honest woman\nsuspecting, no doubt, that, if she did not go out to him, he would make\nthe best of his way to her, obeyed his summons; and, in the course\nof a long convoy she gave him, he divulged to her several acts of\nmisconduct he had been guilty of towards an old master and some others,\nwhich disturbed much his repose. Anxious, no doubt, to get rid of his\ncompany, she promised to exert the best of her endeavours to atone for\nhis misconduct, on condition he would leave her, and never again renew\nhis visit,--a promise which she faithfully performed, and the dead\nfriend gave her no farther trouble.\u201d\n\nBut the settlement of unassorted affairs, after death, is not the only\nthing in which the ghost is extremely useful. As an ambassador ever\nready to discharge any piece of useful service--such as appeasing the\nunavailing grief of lamenting relatives--he is ever ready and expert,\nand the delicate manner in which the ghost sometimes executes this\ncommission indicates that he is far more friendly and conciliatory\nin his behaviour when _dead_ than he was when alive. Sometimes, but\nrarely, he leaves his abode to benefit an old acquaintance or friend\nof his partner; but it will no doubt be done at the instigation of the\ndevoted latter. We present the particulars of a favour of this sort\nconferred on an inhabitant of Strathspey, no doubt a long time ago,\nwhich deserved a better return than what the ghost at first met with.\n\n\u201cEngaged one night in the arrangement of his farming affairs, a certain\nfarmer, living in the parish of Abernethy, was a good deal surprised\nat seeing an old acquaintance, who had a considerable time previously\ndeparted this life, entering quite coolly at his dwelling-house door.\nInstead of following his old acquaintance into his house, to receive\nan explanation from himself of the marvellous circumstance, his\ncuriosity led him into the church-yard where his friend was buried,\nand which was near by, to see if he had actually risen from the dead.\nOn examination, he not only found the grave, but also the coffin _wide\nopen_, which left no doubt on his mind of the reality of the vision\nwhich he thought had deluded his sight. Making the sign of the cross on\nthe grave, he returned to his house, not caring whether he found his\nfriend before him or not. He was not, however, to be seen; but, in the\ncourse of a short time, he returned, and upbraided the farmer for his\nimproper interference with his grave, explaining to him the cause of\nhis resurrection. It appeared that a scabbed stirk, which had a greedy\ncustom of prowling about the doors, seeking what he might devour,\nthief-like entering the dwelling-house in the absence of the family,\nand, finding no better subject of entertainment, attacked the straw in\nthe cradle which stood by the fireside, and in which his only child was\nsleeping at the time. The tugging of the stirk at the straw would have\ninevitably overturned the cradle and the child into the fire but for\nthe generous interposition of the ghost. The farmer expressed his most\ngrateful acknowledgments for so signal an instance of his kindness;\nand immediately retraced his steps to the grave, on which he made a\ncounter-sign to that which he formerly made, and the good-hearted ghost\nobtained admission into his dreary abode.\u201d\n\nBut these are not all the ghost\u2019s useful qualities. He possesses\nanother very important one in this unchristian and uncharitable age,\nin which the repositories of the dead are exposed to the nocturnal\nspoliation of the ruthless resurrectionist. It is vain for the\nchurch-sexton to plant _steel-traps_ and _spring-guns_ in the field of\nhis labours,--the wily depredator will contrive to elude them all when\nthe vigilant watchman is wanted to direct them. To show the vigilance\nof this agent\u2019s attention to his own interest, and that of his friends,\non such occasions, take the following narration:--\n\n\u201cThere was at one time a woman, who lived in Camp-del-more of\nStrathavon, whose cattle were seized with a murrain, or some such\nfell disease, which ravaged the neighbourhood at the time, carrying\noff great numbers of them daily. All the _forlorn fires and hallowed\nwaters_ failed of their customary effects; and she was at length\ntold by the wise people whom she consulted on the occasion, that it\nwas evidently the effect of some infernal agency, the power of which\ncould not be destroyed by any other means than the never-failing\nspecific--the juice of a _dead head_ from the church-yard,--a nostrum\ncertainly very difficult to be procured, considering the head must\nneeds be abstracted from a grave in the hour of midnight. Being,\nhowever, a woman of a stout heart and strong faith, native feelings of\ndelicacy towards the blessed sanctuary of the dead had more weight in\nrestraining her for some time from resorting to this desperate remedy\nthan those of fear. At length, seeing that her bestial stock would soon\nbe completely annihilated by the destructive career of the disease,\nthe wife of Camp-del-more resolved to put the experiment in practice,\nwhatever the result might be. Accordingly, having, with considerable\ndifficulty, engaged a neighbouring woman to be her companion in this\nhazardous expedition, they set out, about midnight, for the parish\nchurch-yard, distant about a mile and a half from her residence,\nto execute her determination. On arriving at the church-yard, her\ncompanion, whose courage was not so notable, appalled by the gloomy\nprospect before her, refused to enter among the habitations of the\ndead. She, however, agreed to remain at the gate till her friend\u2019s\nbusiness was accomplished. This circumstance, however, did not\nstagger our heroine\u2019s resolution. She, with the greatest coolness and\nintrepidity, proceeded towards what she supposed an old grave,--took\ndown her spade, and commenced her operations. After a good deal of toil\nshe arrived at the object of her labour. Raising the first head, or\nrather skull, that came in her way, she was about to make it her own\nproperty, when, lo! a hollow, wild, sepulchral voice exclaimed, \u2018That\nis _my_ head--let it alone!\u2019 Not wishing to dispute the claimant\u2019s\ntitle to this head, and supposing she could be otherwise provided,\nshe very good-naturedly returned it, and took up another. \u2018That is my\nfather\u2019s head,\u2019 bellowed the same voice. Wishing, if possible, to avoid\ndisputes, the wife of Camp-del-more took up another head, when the\nsame voice instantly started a claim to it as his grand-father\u2019s head.\n\u2018Well,\u2019 replied the wife, nettled at her disappointments, \u2018although it\nwere your grand-mother\u2019s head, you shan\u2019t get it till I am done with\nit.\u2019--\u2018What do you say, you limmer?\u2019 says the ghost, starting up in\nhis awry habiliments; \u2018What do you say, you limmer?\u2019 repeated he in a\ngreat rage. \u2018By the great oath, you had better leave my grand-father\u2019s\nhead.\u2019 Upon matters coming this length, the wily wife of Camp-del-more\nthought it proper to assume a more conciliatory aspect. Telling the\nclaimant the whole particulars of the predicament in which she was\nplaced by the foresaid calamity, she promised faithfully, that, if his\nHonour would only allow her to carry off his grand-father\u2019s skull, or\nhead, in a peaceable manner, she would restore it again when done with\nit. Here, after some communing, they came to an understanding, and she\nwas allowed to take the head along with her, on condition she should\nrestore it before cock-crowing, under the heaviest penalties.\n\n\u201cOn coming out of the church-yard, and looking for her companion,\nshe had the mortification to find her \u2018without a mouthful of breath\nin her body;\u2019 for, on hearing the dispute between her friend and the\nguardian of the grave, and suspecting much that she was likely to\nshare the unpleasant punishments with which he threatened her friend,\nat the bare recital of them she fell down in a faint, from which it\nwas no easy matter to recover her. This proved no small inconvenience\nto Camp-del-more\u2019s wife, as there were not above two hours to elapse\nere she had to return the head in terms of her agreement. Taking\nher friend upon her back, she carried her up a steep acclivity to\nthe nearest adjoining house, where she left her for the night; then\nrepaired home with the utmost speed--made _dead bree_ of the _dead\nhead_, and, ere the appointed time had expired, she restored the head\nto its guardian, and placed the grave in its former condition. It is\nneedless to add, that, as a reward for her exemplary courage, the\n\u2018_bree_\u2019 had its desired effect--the cattle speedily recovered--and,\nso long as she retained any of it, all sorts of diseases were of short\nduration.\u201d\n\n\nSAFEGUARDS FROM GHOSTS.\n\nHaving now briefly described the leading features of a ghost\u2019s\ncharacter in those countries, we shall close our account of him by\nannexing a few of those safeguards which protect us from those wanton\nencounters and impertinent interferences which we have related,\nand which must be far from being palatable to the more effeminate\ninhabitants of the Highland mountains at the present day.\n\nOne simple plan of obtaining perfect security from supernatural agents\nof any kind is, (whenever we apprehend the approach or presence of\na ghost,) to repeat certain words, which can be taught by any wise\npatriarch or matron, the powerful charm of which instantly repercusses\nthe ghost back to his own proper abode, and, for the time, defeats all\nhis machinations. Note--If in the house, the words must be repeated\nthree times behind the door. A ghost then can neither enter at the\ndoor, window, nor any other crevice of the house. The operation of\nthe words is like that of an infeftment, which, taken on one part of\nthe property, affects the whole. Were it not for this grand discovery,\nvain would be the attempt of any man to bar out a ghost as he might do\na _mortal_. A ghost can enter in at the key-hole--nay, even through the\nwall of the house, if there is no other caveat to arrest him in his\ncareer.\n\nAnother safeguard consists in forming a piece of the _rowan tree_ into\nthe shape of a cross with a red thread. This cross you will insert\nbetween the lining and cloth of your garment, and, so long as it lasts,\nneither ghost nor witch shall ever interfere with you.\n\n\n\n\nPART II.\n\nFairies.\n\n  There are fairies, and brownies, and shades Amazonian,\n  Of harper, and sharper, and old Cameronian;\n  Some small as pigmies, some tall as a steeple:\n  The spirits are all gone as mad as the people.\n\n                                                  HOGG.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER I.\n\nORIGIN AND GENEALOGY OF THE FAIRIES.\n\n\nThough the ghost is confessedly entitled to no small degree of\nconsideration from his intimate connection with our own species, no one\nwill pretend to deny that the fairy is a character whose _greatness of\ndescent_ renders him equally interesting and respectable. The genealogy\nof the ghost can no doubt be traced back to the earliest ages of the\nworld, and it is pretty certain that he has been amongst the first of\nits inhabitants; still, on the score of antiquity, he cannot pretend\nto compete with the fairy, who, it seems, existed long before the\nworld itself. The origin and descent of the fairies, which had so long\nproved such knotty subjects of controversy in other quarters of the\nkingdom, are points which have been finally settled and disposed of\nin these countries. No doubt now remains, in the minds of those who\nhave bestowed any attention on the important subject, of there being\nthose unhappy angels whose diabolical deeds produced their expulsion\nfrom Paradise. In support of this rational theory, the wise men of the\nday never fail to quote the highest authority. Scripture, they say,\ntells us those angels were cast down; and although, indeed, it does\nnot mention to what place, sad experience proves the fact, that the\nHighland mountains received an ample share of them. Here, wandering up\nand down, like the hordes of Tartary, they pitch their camp where spoil\nis most plentiful; and taking advantage of the obstinate incredulity of\nsome of their human neighbours, contrive to make themselves perfectly\ncomfortable at the latter\u2019s expense. To dispel any doubt that may\nremain on the mind of the reader as to the soundness of this doctrine,\nwe present him with the following particulars:\n\n\u201cNot long since, as a pious clergyman was returning home, after\nadministering spiritual consolation to a dying member of his flock,\nit was late of the night, and he had to pass through a good deal of\n_uncanny_ ground. He was, however, a good and conscientious minister\nof the gospel, and feared not all the spirits in the country. On his\nreaching the end of a lake which stretched alongst the road-side for\nsome distance, he was a good deal surprised to have his attention\narrested by the most melodious strains of music. Overcome by pleasure\nand curiosity, the minister coolly sat down to listen to the harmonious\nsounds, and try what new discoveries he could make with regard to\ntheir nature and source. He had not sitten many minutes when he could\ndistinguish the approach of the music, and also observe a light in the\ndirection from whence it proceeded, gliding across the lake towards\nhim. Instead of taking to his heels, as any faithless wight would\nhave done, the pastor, fearless, determined to await the issue of the\nphenomenon. As the light and music drew near, the clergyman could at\nlength distinguish an object resembling a human being walking on the\nsurface of the water, attended by a group of diminutive musicians,\nsome of them bearing lights, and others of them instruments of music,\non which they continued to perform those melodious strains which\nfirst attracted his attention. The leader of the band dismissed\nhis attendants, landed on the beach, and afforded the minister the\namplest opportunities of examining his appearance. He was a little\nprimitive-looking grey-headed man, clad in the most grotesque habit\nhe ever witnessed, and such as led the venerable minister all at once\nto suspect his real character. He walked up to the minister, whom he\nsaluted with great grace, offering an apology for his intrusion. The\npastor returned his compliments, and, without farther explanation,\ninvited the mysterious stranger to sit down by his side. The invitation\nwas complied with, upon which the minister proposed the following\nquestion: \u2018_Who art thou, stranger, and from whence?_\u2019 To this\nquestion the fairy, with downcast eye, replied, that he was one of\nthose sometimes called \u2018_Doane Shee_, or men of peace, or good men,\nthough the reverse of this title was a more fit appellation for them.\nOriginally angelic in his nature and attributes, and once a sharer\nof the indescribable joys of the regions of light, he was seduced by\nSatan to join him in his mad conspiracies; and as a punishment for his\ntransgression, he was cast down from those regions of bliss, and was\nnow doomed, along with millions of fellow-sufferers, to wander through\nseas and mountains, until the coming of the great day; what their fate\nwould be then they could not divine, but they apprehended the worst.\nAnd,\u2019 continued he, turning to the minister, with great anxiety, \u2018the\nobject of my present intrusion on you is to learn your opinion, as an\neminent divine, as to our final condition on that dreadful day.\u2019 Here\nthe venerable pastor entered upon a long conversation with the fairy,\n(the particulars of which we shall be excused for omitting,) touching\nthe principles of faith and repentance. Receiving rather unsatisfactory\nanswers to his questions, the minister desired the \u2018_Sheech_\u2019 to\nrepeat after him the Paternoster; in attempting to do which, it was\nnot a little remarkable that he could not repeat the word \u2018_art_,\u2019 but\n\u2018_wert_,\u2019 in heaven. Inferring from every circumstance that their fate\nwas extremely precarious, the minister resolved not to puff the fairies\nup with presumptuous and perhaps groundless expectations. Accordingly,\naddressing himself to the unhappy fairy, who was all anxiety to know\nthe nature of his sentiments, the reverend gentleman told him that he\ncould not take it upon him to give them any hopes of pardon, as their\ncrime was of so deep a hue as scarcely to admit of it. On this the\nunhappy fairy uttered a shriek of despair, plunged headlong into the\nloch, and the minister resumed his course to his home.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER II.\n\nSIMILITUDE OF THE FAIRY.\n\n\nOf all the different species of supernatural tribes which inhabit those\ncountries, none of them could ever vie with the fairy community for\npersonal elegance. Indeed, this seems to be the only remaining vestige\nthey possess of their primitive character. Though generally low in\nstature, they are exceedingly well proportioned, and prepossessing in\ntheir persons. The females, in particular, are said to be the most\nenchanting beings in the world, and far beyond what the liveliest\nfancy can paint. Eyes sparkling as the brightest of the stars, or the\npolished gem of Cairngorm,--cheeks in which the whiteness of the snow\nand red of the reddan are blended with the softness of the Cannoch\ndown,--lips like the coral, and teeth like the ivory,--a redundant\nluxuriance of auburn hair hanging down the shoulders in lovely\nringlets, and a gainly simplicity of dress, always of the colour of\ngreen, are prominent features in the description of a Highland fairy\nnymph.\n\nBut while we agree in some measure with our fellow historians who\nhave described the fairy race as they exist in other quarters of the\ncountry, in so far as regards their personal beauty, we widely differ\nfrom those historians as to the splendour of their dress as exhibited\nin the character of the Highland fairies. Instead of the gorgeous\nhabiliments of \u201cwhite and gold dropped with diamonds, and coats of the\nthreads of gold,\u201d which we are told are worn by those more luxurious\nand refined fairies living within the sphere of splendour and fashion\nin the Lowlands of Scotland; the Highland fairies, more thrifty and\nless voluptuous, clothe themselves in plain worsted green, not woven\nby the \u201c_shuttle of Iris_,\u201d but by the greasy shuttle of some Highland\nweaver. This description, let it be understood, however, applies only\nto the portion of them inhabiting _terra firma_; for the dress of those\nwhose lot it was to fall in the deep is of a very different nature,\nconsisting entirely of seal-skins, and such other _marine_ apparel as\nis most suitable and appropriate to their element.\n\nThe following story will throw some light upon the manners and _habits_\nof this portion of the fairy tribes.\n\nThere was once upon a time a man who lived on the northern coasts, not\nfar from \u201c_Taigh Jan Crot Callow_,\u201d[B] and he gained his livelihood\nby catching and killing fish, of all sizes and denominations. He had\na particular liking to the killing of those wonderful beasts, half\ndog half fish, called \u201cRoane,\u201d or Seals, no doubt because he got a\nlong price for their skins, which are not less curious than they are\nvaluable. The truth is, that most of these animals are neither dogs nor\ncods, but downright fairies, as this narration will show; and, indeed,\nit is easy for any man to convince himself of the fact by a simple\nexamination of his _tobacco-spluichdan_,--for the dead skins of those\nbeings are never the same for four-and-twenty hours together. Sometimes\nthe \u201c_spluichdan_\u201d will erect its bristles almost perpendicularly,\nwhile, at other times, it reclines them even down; one time it\nresembles a bristly sow, at another time a _sleekit cat_; and what dead\nskin, except itself, could perform such cantrips? Now, it happened\none day, as this notable fisher had returned from the prosecution\nof his calling, that he was called upon by a man who seemed a great\nstranger, and who said he had been dispatched for him by a person\nwho wished to contract for a quantity of seal-skins, and that it was\nnecessary for the fisher to accompany him (the stranger) immediately\nto see the person who wished to contract for the skins, as it was\nnecessary that he should be served that evening. Happy in the prospect\nof making a good bargain, and never suspecting any duplicity in the\nstranger, he instantly complied. They both mounted a steed belonging\nto the stranger, and took the road with such velocity that, although\nthe direction of the wind was towards their back, yet the fleetness\nof their movement made it appear as if it had been in their faces. On\nreaching a stupendous precipice which overhung the sea, his guide told\nhim they had now reached the point of their destination. \u201cWhere is the\nperson you spoke of?\u201d inquired the astonished seal-killer. \u201cYou shall\nsee that presently,\u201d replied the guide. With that they immediately\nalighted, and, without allowing the seal-killer much time to indulge\nthe frightful suspicions that began to pervade his mind, the stranger\nseized him with irresistible force, and plunged headlong with the\nseal-killer into the sea. After sinking down--down--nobody knows\nhow far, they at length reached a door, which, being open, led them\ninto a range of apartments, filled with inhabitants--not people, but\nseals, who could nevertheless speak and feel like human folk; and how\nmuch was the seal-killer surprised to find that he himself had been\nunconsciously transformed into the like image! If it were not so, he\nwould probably have died, from the want of breath. The nature of the\npoor fisher\u2019s thoughts may be more easily conceived than described.\nLooking on the nature of the quarters into which he was landed, all\nhopes of escape from them appeared wholly chimerical, whilst the\ndegree of comfort and length of life which the barren scene promised\nhim were far from being flattering. The \u201cRoane,\u201d who all seemed in\nvery low spirits, appeared to feel for him, and endeavoured to soothe\nthe distress which he evinced, by the amplest assurances of personal\nsafety. Involved in sad meditation on his evil fate, he was quickly\nroused from his stupor, by his guide\u2019s producing a huge gully or\njoctaleg, the object of which he supposed was to put an end to all his\nearthly cares. Forlorn as was his situation, however, he did not wish\nto be killed; and, apprehending instant destruction, he fell down,\nand earnestly implored for mercy. The poor generous animals did not\nmean him any harm, however much his former conduct deserved it; and he\nwas accordingly desired to pacify himself, and cease his cries. \u201cDid\nyou ever see that knife before?\u201d says the stranger to the fisher. The\nlatter instantly recognising his own knife, which he had that day stuck\ninto a seal, and with which it made its escape, acknowledged it was\nformerly his own, for what would be the use of denying it? \u201cWell!\u201d\nrejoins the guide, \u201cthe apparent seal, which made away with it, is my\nfather, who lies dangerously ill ever since, and no means could stay\nhis fleeting breath, without your aid. I have been obliged to resort\nto the artifice I have practised to bring you hither, and I trust that\nmy filial duty to my father will readily operate my excuse.\u201d Having\nsaid this, he led into another apartment the trembling seal-killer,\nwho expected every minute a return of his own favour to the father;\nand here he found the identical seal, with which he had the encounter\nin the morning, suffering most grievously from a tremendous cut in\nits hind-quarter. The seal-killer was then desired, with his hand, to\ncicatrize the wound; upon doing which, it immediately healed, and the\nseal arose from its bed in perfect health. Upon this, the scene changed\nfrom mourning to rejoicing,--all was mirth and glee. Very different,\nhowever, were the feelings of the unfortunate seal-catcher, expecting,\nno doubt, to be a seal for the remainder of his life, until his late\nguide accosted him as follows: \u201cNow, sir, you are at liberty to return\nto your wife and family, to whom I am about to conduct you; but it\nis on this express condition, to which you must bind yourself by a\nsolemn oath, viz., that you shall never maim or kill a seal in all your\nlifetime hereafter.\u201d To this condition, hard as it was, he joyfully\nacceded; and the oath being administered in all due form, he bade his\nnew acquaintance most heartily and sincerely a long farewell. Taking\nhold of his guide, they issued from the place, and swam up--up--till\nthey regained the surface of the sea; and, landing at the said\nstupendous pinnacle, they found their former riding steed ready for\na second canter. The guide breathed upon the fisher, and they became\nlike men. They mounted their horse; and fleet as was their course\ntowards the precipice or pinnacle, their return from it was doubly\nswift; and the honest seal-killer was laid down at his own door-cheek,\nwhere his guide made him such a present as would have almost reconciled\nhim to another similar expedition, and such as rendered his loss of\nprofession, in so far as regarded the seals, a far less intolerable\nhardship than he had at first contemplated it.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER III.\n\nOF THE FAIRIES AS A COMMUNITY--THEIR POLITICAL PRINCIPLES AND INGENIOUS\nHABITS.\n\n\nFrom the description the reader may have seen of the fairy community\nin general, as drawn in the works of the eminent writers of the day,\nhe may have been led to form very erroneous estimates not only of the\ndress of the _Highland_ fairies, but also of their political economy\nand government.\n\nThere are few who have not heard of the illustrious and divine beauty\nof the Queen of the Fairies, and the splendid and dazzling courts\nwith which her majesty is surrounded on all occasions of intercourse\nwith the inhabitants of this world. It appears, however, from all\nthat the compiler can learn, that the empire of Queen Mab, like that\nof the renowned C\u00e6sar, never was extended to the northern side of the\nGrampians, for she is entirely unknown in those countries. Indeed, it\nis believed that the Highland fairies acknowledge no distinctions of\nthis sort. As there were originally none such amongst them in Paradise,\nso they are not disposed to create any on earth,--and a more complete\nrepublic never was.\n\nIt is true, Satan, no doubt, exercises a sort of impotent chieftainship\nover them as his once rebellious confederates,--but, it is believed,\nhis laws and his edicts are as much despised by them as those of the\nGreat Mogul. In spite of all his power and policy, like the Israelites\nof old, each does what is right in his own eyes; and, unless on a\nHalloweven, or such occasion of state, they may submit to a pageant\nreview more from motives of vanity than of loyalty, Auld Nick\u2019s ancient\nsovereignty over the fairy community in this land of freedom has fallen\ninto desuetude.\n\nThe fairies are a very ingenious people. As may be expected from the\nnature of their origin and descent, they are possessed of very superior\nintellectual powers, which they know well enough how to apply to useful\npurposes. Nor are they so vain of their abilities as to scorn to direct\nthem to the prosecution of those more ignoble employments, on which the\npoliter part of mankind commonly look down with contempt. Whether this\ncondescension, on the part of the fairy, be more the result of choice\nor necessity, it is hard for us to determine; but certain it is, that\nfew communities can boast of a more numerous or more proficient body of\nartisans. We are told, indeed, by some of those well acquainted with\ntheir manners, that every individual fairy combines all the necessary\narts in his own person--that he is his own weaver, his own tailor, and\nhis own shoemaker. Whether this is truly the case public opinion is\nrather divided; but all our informants concur in this conclusion--that\nby far the greater number of them understand well enough those several\ncallings; and the expertness they display in handling the shuttle, the\nneedle, and the awl, evidently demonstrate their practical knowledge of\nthese implements. In support of this conclusion, we have the authority\nof a decent old man, whose veracity, on subjects of this description,\nhas never been questioned in the district in which he lived, who\nfavoured the compiler with the following narration:\n\n\u201cMy great-grandfather, (peace to his manes!) who was by profession a\nweaver, and, by the bye, a very honest man, though I should not say it,\nwas waked one night from his midnight sleep by a tremendous noise. On\nlooking \u2018_out over_\u2019 the bed, to see whence it proceeded, he was not\na little astonished to find the house full of operative fairies, who,\nwith the greatest familiarity, had made free with his manufacturing\nimplements. Having provided themselves with a large sack of wool,--from\nwhence it came they best knew,--they were actively employed in\nconverting it into cloth. While one teethed it, another carded it;\nwhile another span it, another wove it; while another dyed it, another\npressed it; while the united bustle of their several operations, joined\nto the exclamations uttered by each expressive of his avocation,\ncreated a clamour truly intolerable to the gudeman of the house, with\nwhom they used so unacceptable a freedom. So diligent were they, that\nlong ere day they decamped with a web of green cloth, consisting of\nfifty ells and more, without even thanking my venerable grandfather for\nthe use of his machinery.\u201d\n\nAnother narrative, with which we were favoured, related the activity\nof a fairy shoemaker, who sewed a pair of shoes for a \u201c_mountain\nshepherd_\u201d during the time the latter mealed a bicker of pottage\nfor them. And another narrative related the expertness of a fairy\n_barber_, who shaved an acquaintance so effectually with no sharper a\nrazor than the palm of his hand, that he never afterwards required to\nundergo the same operation. These, and a number of equally creditable\nstories, confirm their transcendent superiority as artisans over any\nother class of people in Christendom.\n\nNor in the more honourable and learned professions are they less\ndexterous. As architects they stand quite unrivalled. To prove their\nexcellence in this art we have only to consider the durability of\ntheir habitations. Some of these, it is said, have outlived the\nravages of time and vicissitudes of weather for some thousand years,\nwithout sustaining any other injury than the suffocation of the\nsmoke-vents--defects which could no doubt be repaired with little\ntrouble. But as the relics of former ages receive additional interest\nfrom their rude and ruinous appearance, so must these monuments of\nfairy genius excite in the breasts of the community the most profound\nsentiments of respect and veneration.\n\nNor are these the only monuments remaining calculated to perpetuate\ntheir excellence as architects and engineers,--there are others of\ntoo lasting and extraordinary a character to escape the notice of the\ntraditional historian. We allude to those stupendous superstructures\nbuilt by the fairies under the auspices of that distinguished\narch-architect Mr. Michael Scott, which sufficiently demonstrate the\nskill of the designer and the ability of the workmen. As the history\nof this celebrated character (rendered not the less interesting by the\nnotices of him written by the Minstrel of Minstrels) is not yet quite\ncomplete, we shall make no apology for submitting to the reader the\nfollowing anecdotes of his life, which we have collected in the course\nof our peregrinations.\n\n\nMICHAEL SCOTT.\n\nIn the early part of Michael Scott\u2019s life he was in the habit, as is\nnot yet uncommon with northern tradesmen, of emigrating annually to the\nScottish metropolis, for the purpose of being employed in his capacity\nof mason. One time, as himself and two companions were journeying to\nthe place of their destination for a similar object, they had occasion\nto pass over a high hill, the name of which is not mentioned, but\nsupposed to be one of the Grampians, and being fatigued with climbing,\nthey sat down to rest themselves. They had no sooner done so than they\nwere warned to take to their heels by the hissing of a large serpent,\nwhich they observed revolving itself towards them with great velocity.\nTerrified at the sight, Michael\u2019s two companions fled, while he, on\nthe contrary, resolved to encounter the serpent. The appalling monster\napproached Michael Scott with distended mouth and forked tongue; and,\nthrowing itself into a coil at his feet, was raising its head to\ninflict a mortal sting, when Michael, with one stroke of his stick,\nsevered its body into three pieces. Having rejoined his affrighted\ncomrades, they resumed their journey; and, on arriving at the next\npublic-house, it being late, and the travellers being weary, they took\nup their quarters at it for the night. In the course of the night\u2019s\nconversation, recurrence was naturally had to Michael\u2019s recent exploit\nwith the serpent, when the landlady of the house, who was remarkable\nfor her \u201carts,\u201d happened to be present. Her curiosity appeared much\nexcited by the conversation; and, after making some inquiries regarding\nthe colour of the serpent, which she was told was _white_, she offered\nany of them, that would procure her the middle piece, such a tempting\nreward, as induced one of the party instantly to go for it. The\ndistance was not very great; and, on reaching the spot, he found the\nmiddle and tail piece in the place where Michael left them; but the\nhead piece was gone, it is supposed, to a contiguous stream, to which\nthe serpent is said always to resort, after an encounter with the human\nrace, and, on immersing itself into the water, \u201clike polypus asunder\ncut,\u201d it again regenerates and recovers. On the other hand, it is a\ncircumstance deserving the attention of the medical world, that should\nan individual, unfortunate enough to be bitten by this galling enemy\nof mankind, reach the water before the serpent, his recovery from the\neffects of the calamity is equally indubitable.\n\nThe landlady, on receiving the piece, which still vibrated with life,\nseemed highly gratified at her acquisition; and, over and above the\npromised reward, regaled her lodgers very plentifully with the choicest\ndainties in her house. Fired with curiosity to know the purpose for\nwhich the serpent was intended, the wily Michael Scott was immediately\nseized with a severe fit of indisposition,--an excruciating colic, the\npains of which could only be alleviated by continual exposure to the\nfire, the warmth of which, he affirmed, was in the highest degree\nbeneficial to him.\n\nNever suspecting Michael Scott\u2019s hypocrisy, and naturally supposing\nthat a person so severely indisposed should feel very little curiosity\nabout the contents of any cooking utensils which might lie around the\nfire, the landlady consented to his desire of being allowed to recline\nall night along the fireside. As soon as the other inmates of the house\nwere retired to bed, the landlady resorted to her darling occupation;\nand, in this feigned state of indisposition, Michael had a favourable\nopportunity of watching most scrupulously all her actions, through\nthe key-hole of a door leading to the next apartment where she was.\nHe could see the rites and ceremonies with which the serpent was put\ninto an oven, along with many mysterious ingredients. After which,\nthe unsuspicious landlady placed it by the fireside, where lay our\ndistressed traveller, to stove till the morning.\n\nOnce or twice, in the course of the night, the \u201cwife of the\nchange-house,\u201d under pretence of inquiring for her sick lodger, and\nadministering to him some renovating cordials, the beneficial effects\nof which he gratefully acknowledged, took occasion to dip her finger in\nher saucepan, upon which the cock, perched on his roost, crowed aloud.\nAll Michael\u2019s sickness could not prevent him from considering very\ninquisitively the landlady\u2019s cantrips, and particularly the influence\nof the sauce upon the crowing of the cock. Nor could he dissipate some\ninward desires he felt to follow her example. At the same time that he\nsuspected that Satan had a hand in the pye, yet he liked very much to\nbe at the bottom of the concern; and thus his reason and his curiosity\nclashed against each other for the space of several hours. At length,\npassion, as is too often the case, became the conqueror. Michael,\ntoo, dipt his finger in the sauce, and applied it to the tip of his\ntongue, and immediately the cock perched on the _spardan_ announced the\ncircumstance in a mournful clarion. Instantly his mind received a new\nlight to which he was formerly a stranger, and the astonished dupe of a\nlandlady now found it her interest to admit her sagacious lodger into a\nknowledge of the remainder of her secrets.\n\nEndowed with the knowledge of \u201c_good and evil_,\u201d and all the\n\u201c_second sights_\u201d that can be acquired, Michael left his lodgings in\nthe morning, with the philosopher\u2019s stone in his pocket. By daily\nperfecting his supernatural attainments, by new series of discoveries,\nhe was more than a match for Satan himself. Having seduced some\nthousands of Satan\u2019s best workmen into his employment, he trained them\nup so successfully to the architective business, and inspired them\nwith such industrious habits, that he was more than sufficient for the\narchitectural work of the empire. To establish this assertion, we need\nonly refer to some remains of his workmanship still existing north of\nthe Grampians, some of them stupendous bridges built by him in one\nshort night, with no other visible agents than two or three workmen.\n\nAs the following anecdote is so applicable to our purpose, we shall\nsubmit it to the reader as a specimen of the expertness of Mr. Scott\nand his agents.\n\nOn one occasion, work was getting scarce, as might have been naturally\nexpected, and his workmen, as they were wont, flocked to his doors,\nperpetually exclaiming, Work! work! work! Continually annoyed by their\nincessant entreaties, he called out to them in derision to go and make\na dry road from Fortrose to Arderseir over the Moray Firth. Immediately\ntheir cry ceased, and as Mr. Scott supposed it wholly impracticable for\nthem to execute his order, he retired to rest, laughing most heartily\nat the chimerical sort of employment he had given to his industrious\nworkmen. Early in the morning, however, he got up and took a walk down\nat the break of day to the shore, to divert himself at the fruitless\nlabours of his zealous workmen. But on reaching the spot, what was his\nastonishment to find the formidable piece of work allotted to them only\na few hours before almost quite finished. Seeing the great damage the\ncommercial class of the community would sustain from the operation, he\nordered them to demolish the most part of their work; leaving, however,\nthe point of Fortrose to show the traveller to this day the wonderful\nexploit of Michael Scott\u2019s fairies.\n\nOn being thus again thrown out of employment, their former clamour was\nresumed, nor could Michael Scott, with all his sagacity, devise a plan\nto keep them in innocent employment. He at length discovered one. \u201cGo,\u201d\nsays he, \u201cand manufacture me ropes that will carry me to the back of\nthe moon, of those materials, _miller\u2019s-sudds_ and sea-sand.\u201d Michael\nScott here obtained rest from his active operators; for, when other\nwork failed them, he always dispatched them to their rope-manufactory.\n\u201cBut,\u201d says our relator, \u201cthough these agents could never make proper\nropes of those materials, their efforts to that effect are far from\nbeing contemptible,--for some of their ropes are seen by the seaside\ntill this blessed day.\u201d\n\nWe shall close our notice of Michael Scott by reciting one anecdote of\nhim in the latter end of his life, which, on that account, will not be\nthe less interesting.\n\nIn consequence of a violent quarrel which Michael Scott once had with\na person whom he conceived to have caused him some injury, Michael\nresolved, as the highest punishment he could inflict upon him, to send\nhis adversary to that evil place designed only for Satan and his black\ncompanions. He, accordingly, by means of his supernatural machinations,\nsent the poor unfortunate man thither; and had he been sent by any\nother means than those of Michael Scott, he would no doubt have met\nwith a warm reception. Out of pure spite to Michael, however, when\nSatan learned who was his billet-master, he would no more receive him\nthan he would receive the Wife of Beth; and, instead of treating the\nunfortunate man with that harshness characteristic of him, he showed\nhim considerable civilities. Introducing him to his \u201c_Ben Taigh_,\u201d he\ndirected her to show the stranger any curiosities he might wish to see,\nhinting very significantly that he had provided some accommodations for\ntheir mutual friend Michael Scott, the sight of which might afford him\nsome gratification. The polite housekeeper, accordingly, conducted the\nstranger through the principal apartments in the house, where he saw\nsights which, it is hoped, the reader will never witness. But the bed\nof Michael Scott!--his greatest enemy could not but feel satiate with\nrevenge at the sight of it. It was a place too horrid to be described,\nfilled promiscuously with all the horrid brutes imaginable. Toads\nand lions, lizards and leeches, and, amongst the rest, not the least\nconspicuous, a large serpent gaping for Michael Scott, with its mouth\nwide open. This last sight having satisfied the stranger\u2019s curiosity,\nhe was led to the outer gate, and came off with far more agreeable\nreflections than when he entered.\n\nHe reached his friends, and, among other pieces of news touching his\ntravels, he was not backward in relating the entertainment that awaited\nhis friend Michael Scott, as soon as he would _stretch his foot_ for\nthe other world. But Michael did not at all appear disconcerted at\nhis friend\u2019s intelligence. He affirmed that he would disappoint the\nd--l and him both in their expectations. In proof of which, he gave\nthe following signs: \u201cWhen I am just dead,\u201d says he, \u201copen my breast,\nand extract my heart. Carry it to some place where the public may see\nthe result. You will then transfix it upon a long pole, and if Satan\nwill have my soul, he will come in the likeness of a black raven, and\ncarry it off; and if my soul will be saved, it will be carried off by\na white dove.\u201d His friends faithfully obeyed his instructions. Having\nexhibited his heart in the manner directed, a large black raven was\nobserved to come from the east with great fleetness; while a white dove\ncame from the west with equal velocity. The raven made a furious dash\nat the heart, missing which, it was unable to curb its force, till it\nwas considerably past it; and the dove, reaching the spot at the same\ntime, carried off the heart amidst the cheers and ejaculations of the\nspectators.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IV.\n\nOF THEIR DOMESTIC ECONOMY AND FESTIVE HABITS.\n\n\nIt is well known that the fairies are a sociable people, passionately\ngiven to festive amusements and jocund hilarity. Hence, it seldom\nhappens that they cohabit in pairs, like most other species, but rove\nabout in bands, each band having a stated habitation or residence, to\nwhich they resort as occasion suggests.\n\nTheir habitations are generally found in rough irregular precipices and\nbroken caverns, remarkable for wildness of scenery, from whence we may\ninfer that they are particularly fond of what we term the Romantic.\nThese habitations are composed of stones, in the form of irregular\nturrets, of such size and shapes as the nature of the materials and\nthe taste of the architect happened to suggest, and so solid in their\nstructure as frequently to resemble \u201cmasses of rocks or earthen\nhillocks.\u201d\n\nTheir doors, windows, smoke-vents, and other conveniences, are so\nartfully constructed, as to be invisible to the naked eye in day-light,\nthough in dark nights splendid lights are frequently reflected through\ntheir invisible casements.\n\nWithin those \u201c_Tomhans_,\u201d or, as others term them, \u201cShian,\u201d sociality\nand mirth are ever the inmates,--and they are so much addicted to\ndancing, that it forms their chief and favourite amusement. The length\nof their reels will be judged of from the following narrative:\n\n\u201cOnce upon a time, a tenant in the neighbourhood of Cairngorm in\nStrathspey emigrated with his family and cattle to the forest of\nGlenavon, which is well known to be inhabited by many fairies as well\nas ghosts. Two of his sons having been one night late out in search\nof some of their sheep which had strayed, they had occasion to pass\na fairy turret, or dwelling, of very large dimensions; and what was\ntheir astonishment on observing streams of the most refulgent light\nshining forth through innumerable crevices in the rock--crevices which\nthe sharpest eye in the country had never seen before. Curiosity led\nthem towards the turret, when they were charmed by the most exquisite\nsounds ever emitted by a fiddle-string, which, joined to the sportive\nmirth and glee accompanying it, reconciled them in a great measure to\nthe scene, although they knew well enough the inhabitants were fairies.\nNay, overpowered by the enchanting jigs played by the fiddler, one\nof the brothers had even the hardihood to propose that they should\npay the occupants of the turret a short visit. To this motion the\nother brother, fond as he was of dancing, and animated as he was by\nthe music, would by no means consent, and very earnestly inculcated\nupon his brother many pithy arguments well calculated to restrain his\ncuriosity. But every new jig that was played, and every new reel that\nwas danced, inspired the adventurous brother with additional ardour;\nand at length, completely fascinated by the enchanting revelry,\nleaving all prudence behind, at one leap he entered the \u2018Shian.\u2019 The\npoor forlorn brother was now left in a most uncomfortable situation.\nHis grief for the loss of a brother whom he dearly loved suggested to\nhim more than once the desperate idea of sharing his fate, by following\nhis example. But, on the other hand, when he coolly considered the\npossibility of sharing very different entertainment from that which\nrung upon his ears, and remembering, too, the comforts and conveniences\nof his father\u2019s fireside, the idea immediately appeared to him any\nthing but prudent. After a long and disagreeable altercation between\nhis affection for his brother and his regard for himself, he came to\nthe resolution of trying a middle course;--that is, to send in at the\nwindow a few remonstrances to his brother, which if he did not attend\nto, let the consequences be upon his own head. Accordingly, taking his\nstation at one of the crevices, and calling upon his brother, three\nseveral times, by name, as use is, he sent in to him, as aforesaid,\nthe most moving pieces of elocution he could think upon,--imploring\nhim, as he valued his poor parent\u2019s life and blessing, to come forth\nand go home with him, Donald Macgillivray, his thrice affectionate and\nunhappy brother. But, whether it was he could not hear this eloquent\nharangue, or, what is more probable, that he did not choose to attend\nto it, certain it is, that it proved totally ineffectual to accomplish\nits object,--and the consequence was, that Donald Macgillivray found\nit equally much his duty and his interest to return home to his family\nwith the melancholy tale of poor Rory\u2019s fate. All the prescribed\nceremonies calculated to rescue him from the fairy dominion were\nresorted to by his mourning relatives without effect, and Rory was\nsupposed as lost for ever, when a _wise man_ of the day having learned\nthe circumstance, set them upon a plan of having him delivered at the\nend of twelve months from his entry. \u2018Return,\u2019 says the _Duin Glichd_\nto Donald, \u2018to the place where you lost your brother, a year and a day\nfrom the time. You will insert in your garment a Rowan Cross, which\nwill protect you from the fairies\u2019 interposition. Enter the turret\nboldly and resolutely, in the name of the Highest claim your brother,\nand, if he does not accompany you voluntarily, seize him and carry him\noff by force,--none dare interfere with you.\u2019\u201d\n\nThe experiment appeared to the cautious contemplative brother as one\nthat was fraught with no ordinary danger, and he would have most\nwillingly declined the prominent character allotted to him in the\nperformance of it, but for the importunate entreaty of his friends, who\nimplored him, as he valued their blessing, not to slight such excellent\nadvice. Their entreaties, together with his confidence in the virtues\nof the Rowan Cross, overcame his scruples, and he, at length, agreed to\nput the experiment in practice, whatever the result might be.\n\nWell then, the important day arrived, when the father of those two\nsons was destined either to recover his lost son, or to lose the only\nson he had, and, anxious as the father felt, Donald Macgillivray,\nthe intended adventurer, felt no less on the occasion. The hour of\nmidnight approached, when the drama was to be acted, and Donald\nMacgillivray, loaded with all the charms and benedictions in his\ncountry, took mournful leave of his friends, and proceeded to the scene\nof his intended enterprise. On approaching the well-known turret, a\nrepetition of that mirth and those ravishing sounds, that had been the\nsource of so much sorrow to himself and family, once more attracted\nhis attention, without at all creating in his mind any extraordinary\nfeelings of satisfaction. On the contrary, he abhorred the sounds most\nheartily, and felt much greater inclination to recede than to advance.\nBut what was to be done? courage, character, and every thing dear to\nhim, were at stake--so that to advance was his only alternative. In\nshort, he reached the \u201c_Shian_,\u201d and after twenty fruitless attempts,\nhe at length entered the place with trembling footsteps, and, amidst\nthe brilliant and jovial scene, the not least gratifying spectacle\nwhich presented itself to Donald was his brother Rory earnestly\nengaged at the Highland Fling on the floor, at which, as might have\nbeen expected, he had greatly improved. Without losing much time in\nsatisfying his curiosity, by examining the quality of the company, he\nran to his brother, repeating, most vehemently, the words prescribed\nto him by the \u201c_Wise man_\u201d--seized him by the collar, and insisted he\nshould immediately accompany him home to his poor afflicted parents.\nRory assented, provided he would allow him to finish his single reel,\nassuring Donald, very earnestly, that he had not been half an hour in\nthe house. In vain did the latter assure the former, that, instead of\nhalf an hour, he had actually remained twelve months. Nor would he have\nbelieved his overjoyed friends on reaching home, \u201cdid not the calves,\nnow grown into stots, and the newborn babes, now travelling the house,\nat length convince him, that in his single reel he had danced for a\ntwelvemonth and a day.\u201d\n\nThis reel, however, in which Rory Macgillivray had been engaged,\nalthough it may be considered of pretty moderate length, will form but\na short space in a night\u2019s entertainment, of which the following is a\nbrief account:\n\n\u201cNearly three hundred years ago, there lived in Strathspey two men,\ngreatly celebrated for their performances on the fiddle. It happened\nupon a certain Christmas time that they had formed the resolution of\ngoing to Inverness, to be employed in their musical capacities during\nthat festive season. Accordingly, having arrived in that great town,\nand secured lodgings, they sent round the newsman and his bell, to\nannounce to the inhabitants their arrival in town, and the object of\nit, their great celebrity in their own country, the number of tunes\nthey played, and their rate of charge per day, per night, or hour.\nVery soon after, they were called upon by a venerable-looking old man,\ngrey-haired and somewhat wrinkled, of genteel deportment and liberal\ndisposition; for, instead of grudging their charges, as they expected,\nhe only said that he would double the demand. They cheerfully agreed\nto accompany him, and soon they found themselves at the door of a very\ncurious dwelling, the appearance of which they did not at all relish.\nIt was night, but still they could easily distinguish the house to be\nneither like the great Castle Grant, Castle Lethindry, Castle Roy,\nor Castle-na-muchkeruch at home, nor like any other house they had\nseen on their travels. It resembled a huge fairy \u2018Tomhan,\u2019 such as\nare seen in Glenmore. But the mild persuasive eloquence of the guide,\nreinforced by the irresistible arguments of a purse of gold, soon\nremoved any scruples they felt at the idea of entering so novel a\nmansion. They entered the place, and all sensations of fear were soon\nabsorbed in those of admiration of the august assembly which surrounded\nthem; strings tuned to sweet harmony soon gave birth to glee in the\ndwelling. The floor bounded beneath the agile \u2018_fantastic toe_,\u2019 and\ngaiety in its height pervaded every soul present. The night passed on\nharmoniously, while the diversity of the reels and the loveliness of\nthe dancers presented to the fiddlers the most gratifying scene they\never witnessed; and in the morning, when the ball was terminated, they\ntook their leave, sorry that the time of their engagement was so short,\nand highly gratified at the liberal treatment which they experienced.\nBut what was their astonishment, on issuing forth from this strange\ndwelling, when they beheld the novel scene which surrounded them.\nInstead of coming out of a castle, they found they had come out of a\nlittle hill, they knew not what way; and on entering the town they\nfound those objects which yesterday shone in all the splendour of\nnovelty, to-day exhibit only the ruins and ravages of time, while the\nstrange innovations of dress and manners displayed by their numerous\nspectators filled them with wonder and consternation. At last a mutual\nunderstanding took place between themselves and the crowd assembled to\nlook upon them, and a short account of their adventures led the more\nsagacious part of the spectators to suspect at once that they had been\npaying a visit to the inhabitants of _Tomnafurich_, which, not long\nago, was the grand rendezvous of many of the fairy bands inhabiting\nthe surrounding districts; and the arrival of a very old man on the\nspot set the matter fairly at rest. On being attracted by the crowd,\nhe walked up to the two poor old oddities, who were the subject of\namazement, and having learned their history, thus addressed them: \u2018You\nare the two men my great-grandfather lodged, and who, it was supposed,\nwere decoyed by Thomas Rymer to Tomnafurich. Sore did your friends\nlament your loss--but the lapse of a hundred years has now rendered\nyour name extinct.\u2019\n\n\u201cFinding every circumstance conspire to verify the old man\u2019s story,\nthe poor fiddlers were naturally inspired with feelings of reverential\nawe at the secret wonders of the Deity--and it being the Sabbath-day,\nthey naturally wished to indulge those feelings in a place of worship.\nThey, accordingly, proceeded to church, and took their places, to\nhear public worship, and sat for a while listening to the pealing\nbells, which, while they summoned the remainder of the congregation to\nchurch, summoned them to their long homes. When the ambassador of peace\nascended the sacred place, to announce to his flock the glad tidings of\nthe Gospel--strange to tell, at the first word uttered by his lips, his\nancient hearers, the poor deluded fiddlers, both crumbled into dust.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER V.\n\nOF THE PASSIONS AND PROPENSITIES OF THE FAIRIES.\n\n\nThe ingenious reader must not suppose that, because the fairies were\nonce angelic, they have continued so in this corrupt world to the\npresent day. They will be found to exhibit in their conduct as signal\nproofs of degeneracy from their original innocence and worth as their\nmortal contemporary, man; and, as may be concluded, this degeneracy\nhas entailed upon them those passions and infirmities, from which they\nwere, no doubt, once on a time exempt.\n\nThe fairies are remarkable for the amorousness of their dispositions,\nand are not very backward in forming attachments and connections with\nthe people that cannot with propriety be called their own species. We\nare told it is an undeniable fact, that it was once a common practice\nwith both sexes of the fairy people to form intimacies with human\nswains and damsels, whom they would visit at times and in places\nhighly unbecoming and suspicious; and these improper intimacies\nnot unfrequently produced, as may be well believed, _their natural\nconsequences_. It exposed the fairy-females to that indisposition to\nwhich, before their fall, they were no doubt strangers--we mean the\npains of child-birth, which, it seems, they suffer in common with\ntheir earthly neighbours. To the more sceptical part of our readers,\nthe idea of fairy fruition may appear somewhat incredible. In order,\nhowever, to remove any doubt on the subject, we submit the particulars\nof a fairy accouchement, which took place, no doubt, \u201ca considerable\ntime ago,\u201d in the wilds of Cairngorm:\n\n\u201cA considerable time ago there was a woman living in the neighbourhood\nof Cairngorm in Strathspey, by profession a midwife, of extensive\npractice, and esteemed, indeed, the best midwife in the district. One\nnight, while she was preparing for bed, there came a loud knocking\nto her door, indicating great haste in the person that knocked. The\nmidwife was accustomed to such late intrusions, and concluded, even\nbefore she opened the door, that her presence was too much required\nat a _sick-bed_. She found the person that knocked to be a rider and\nhis horse, _both out of breath_, and most impatient for her company.\nThe rider entreated the midwife to make haste, and jump up behind him\nwithout a single moment\u2019s delay, else that the life of an amiable\nwoman was lost for ever. But the midwife, having a great regard to\ncleanliness and decorum, requested leave to exchange her apparel before\nshe set out; a motion which, on the part of the rider, was met with\na decided negative, and nothing would satisfy the rider but that the\nmidwife would immediately jump up behind him on his grey horse. His\nimportunities were irresistible, the midwife mounted, and off they\nflew at full gallop. The midwife being now seated, and fleeing on the\nroad, she began naturally to question her guide what he was--where he\nwas going--and how far. He, however, declined immediately making any\nother reply to her questions than merely saying that she would be well\nrewarded, which, however consoling, was far from being satisfactory\ninformation to the midwife. At length the course they pursued, and the\nroad they took, alarmed the midwife beyond measure, and her guide found\nit necessary to appease her fears by explaining the matter, otherwise\nshe would, in all probability, prove inadequate to the discharge of\nher duty. \u2018My good woman,\u2019 says the fairy to the midwife, \u2018be not\nalarmed; though I am conducting you to a fairy habitation to assist a\nfairy lady in distress, be not dismayed, I beseech you; for I promise\nyou, by all that is sacred, you shall sustain no injury, but will\nbe safely restored to your dwelling when your business is effected,\nwith such boon or present as you shall choose to ask or accept of.\u2019\nThe fairy was a sweet good-looking young fellow, and the candour of\nhis speech and the mildness of his demeanour soothed her fears, and\nreconciled the _Ben Ghlun_, in a great measure, to the enterprise.\nThey were not long in reaching the place, when the midwife found the\nfairy lady in any thing but easy circumstances, and soon proved the\nauspicious instrument of bringing to the world a fine lusty boy. All\nwas joy and rejoicing in consequence, and all the fairies in the\nturret flattered and caressed the midwife. She was desired to choose\nany gift in the power of fairies to grant, which was instantly to be\ngiven her. Upon which she asked, as a boon, that whomsoever she or her\nposterity should attend in her professional capacity, a safe and speedy\ndelivery should be insured them. The favour was instantly conferred on\nher, and all know to this day that _Muruch-na-Ban_, the man-midwife,\npossesses, in no inconsiderable degree, the professional talents of his\ngreat-grandmother.\u201d\n\nBefore concluding this chapter, we owe it, in justice to both the human\nand fairy communities of the present day, to say, that such intercourse\nas that described to have taken place betwixt them is now extremely\nrare; and, with the single exception of a good old shoemaker, now or\nlately living in the village of Tomantoul, who confesses having had\nsome dalliances with a \u201c_lanan shi_\u201d in his younger days, we do not\nknow personally any one who has carried matters this length.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VI.\n\nOF THE FAIRY\u2019S EMBEZZLING AND CRIMINAL PROPENSITIES.\n\n\nBut, although the correspondence now subsisting between the human and\nfairy people is much more chaste and innocent than it was of old, still\nit appears that the strong predilection which the fairies entertained\nfor human society is far from being yet extinguished. It is no doubt\nthe existence of this predilection on the part of the former, and the\nincreasing shyness on the part of the latter, that could induce the\nfairies to resort to those dishonest methods to which they now recur,\nto have their passion for human society gratified.\n\nWe presume the reader is aware that the fairies are much addicted to\nthat heinous crime child-stealing--a crime which these people, in\nconsequence, no doubt, of their long experience in the practice, commit\nwith wonderful address. Often have they robbed the inexperienced mother\nof her tender babe in the height of day, while his place is taken by an\nimpudent impostor, whose sham sickness and death entail on the unhappy\nparent an additional load of misery. To warn unsuspicious mothers of\nthe dangers to which themselves and their offspring are exposed from\nfairy practices, the following narrative may be of use:\n\n\u201cThere were once two natives of Strathspey who were in the habit\nof dealing a little in the whisky way--that is to say, they were\naccustomed occasionally to visit a family in Glenlivat, from whom they\nwould buy a few barrels, which they would again dispose of among the\ngentlemen of Badenoch and Fort-William, to pretty good account; and on\nthose occasions, for reasons well known to every district gauger, (an\nevil death to him!) the Strathspeymen always found it most convenient\nto travel by night. Well, then, on one of those occasions, as they\nwere busy measuring the whisky in the friend\u2019s house at Glenlivat, a\nlittle child belonging to the goodman, and which lay in the cradle,\nuttered a piteous cry, as if it had been shot. The goodwife, according\nto custom, blessed her child, and, as she supposed, raised it from the\ncradle. Ascribing the cry merely to infantine frailty or fretfulness,\nthe Strathspeymen took no particular notice of it, and having their\nbusiness transacted, they proceeded on their way with their cargo.\nA short distance from their friend\u2019s house, they were not a little\nastonished to find a little child abandoned on the high road, without a\nbeing in sight of it. One of the lads took it up in his arms, on which\nit ceased its plaintive cries, and with great fondness clasped his\nlittle hands round his neck, and smiled. This naturally excited some\ncuriosity, and on closer examination they clearly recognised it to be\ntheir friend\u2019s child. Suspicion was instantly attached to the fairies,\nand this suspicion was a great deal strengthened by the circumstance of\nthe cry uttered by the child, as already mentioned. Indeed, they came\nto an immediate conclusion that the fairies, having embezzled the real\nchild, then in their possession, and deposited a stock or substitute in\nits place, it was the lucky presence of mind discovered by its mother\nin blessing it, on its having uttered the cry, that rescued it from\nfairy dominion, for no sooner was the blessing pronounced than they\nwere compelled to abandon the child. As their time was limited, they\ncould not with convenience immediately return to their friend\u2019s house\nto solve the mysterious occurrence, but proceeded on their journey,\ntaking special care of their little foundling.\n\n\u201cIn about a fortnight thereafter, having occasion for a few barrels\nmore, they returned to Glenlivat, taking the child along with them,\nwhich, however, they concealed on arriving at the father\u2019s house.\nIn the course of mutual inquiries for each other\u2019s welfare, the\ngoodwife took occasion to lament very bitterly a severe and protracted\nillness which seized her child on the night of their preceding visit,\nthe nature of which illness could not be ascertained, but, at all\nevents, certain death was the consequence to the child. During this\nlamentation, the impostor uttered the most piteous cries, and appeared\nin the last stage of his sufferings; upon this, the lads, without any\npreliminary remarks, produced their little charge, telling the mother\nto take courage, that they now presented her with her real child, as\nhealthy and thriving as a trout, and that the object of her great\nsolicitude was nothing more than a barefaced fairy impostor. A short\nstatement of facts induced the happy mother to agree to an exchange,\nshe receiving back her child, and the lads the stock or impostor,\nto whom his new proprietors proceeded to administer a warm specific\ncommonly given to his kin on similar occasions. They procured an old\ncreel and a bunch of straw, in order to try the effects the burning\nelement would have in curing him of his grievous complaints. But at the\nappearance of those articles, the stock took the hint, and not choosing\nto wait a trial of its effects, flew out at the smoke-hole, telling the\nexulting spectators, on attaining the top of the \u2018_Lum_,\u2019 that, had it\nnot been for the unfortunate arrival of the two travellers, he should\nhave given the inmates very different entertainment.\u201d\n\nWhen we reflect upon the extreme covetousness manifested by the fairies\nfor human children, the frequent instances of their embezzlement, and,\non the other hand, the ease and simplicity by which these robberies\ncan be foiled, we feel persuaded neither mother nor nurse will now\nneglect the safeguards prescribed for the preservation of children\nfrom such practices. It is universally allowed by people conversant in\nthose important matters, that suspending the child\u2019s head downwards,\non its being dressed in the morning, is an excellent preservative from\nevery species of supernatural agency, and this is certainly a cheap and\nsimple process. A red thread tied about its neck, or a rowan cross,\nare said to be equally efficacious in preventing the influence of evil\nspirits, evil eyes, and other calamities of the same description.\n\nBut as it is natural to suppose that those precautions will still\nbe sometimes neglected, as they have always too often been, it is\nfortunate that a remedy has been discovered for those desperate cases,\nwhere repentance for past imprudence would not avail. When a child has\nactually been stolen, and a stock or substitute left in its stead,\nthe child may be recovered in the following manner:--Let the stock be\ncarried to the junction of three shires, or the confluence of three\nrivers, where it is to be left for the night; and it is a certain fact,\nthat if the child has been stolen by the fairies, they must, in the\ncourse of the night, return the genuine offspring, and take away the\nspurious one.[C]\n\nBut children are not the only objects of their envy. They are equally\ncovetous of pregnant females at a certain juncture, when they embrace\nevery opportunity of securing them, well knowing that, by such\nacquisitions, they obtain a double bargain. The process of stealing\nwomen is the same as that of stealing children, only their ranges in\nquest of such prizes are much more extensive, as the following story\nwill show:\n\n\u201cThere was once a courageous clever man, of the name of John Roy, who\nlived in Glenbrown, in the parish of Abernethy. One night, as John\nRoy was out traversing the hills for his cattle, he happened to fall\nin with a fairy banditti, whose manner of travelling indicated that\nthey carried along with them some booty. Recollecting an old, and, it\nseems, a faithful saying, that the fairies are obliged to exchange\nany booty they may possess for any return, however unequal in value,\non being challenged to that effect, John Roy took off his bonnet, and\nthrew it towards them, demanding a fair exchange in the emphatic Gaelic\nphrase, _Sluis sho slumus Sheen_.[D] It was, no doubt, an unprofitable\nbarter for the fairies. They, however, it would appear, had no other\nalternative but to comply with John Roy\u2019s demand; and in room of the\nbonnet, they abandoned the burden, which turned out to be nothing more\nnor less than a fine fresh lady, who, from her dress and language,\nappeared to be a _Sasonach_. With great humanity, John Roy conducted\nthe unfortunate lady to his house, where she was treated with the\nutmost tenderness for several years; and the endearing attentions paid\nto her by John and his family won so much her affections as to render\nher soon happy in her lot. Her habits became gradually assimilated to\nthose of her new society; and the Saxon lady was no longer viewed in\nany other character than as a member of John Roy\u2019s family.\n\n\u201cIt happened, however, in the course of time, that the _new king_ found\nit necessary to make the great roads through those countries by means\nof soldiers, for the purpose of letting coaches and carriages pass to\nthe northern cities; and those soldiers had officers and commanders\nin the same way as our fighting army have now. Those soldiers were\nnever great favourites in these countries, particularly during the\ntime that our own kings were alive; and, consequently, it was no easy\nmatter for them, either officers or men, to procure for themselves\ncomfortable quarters. But John Roy forgot the national animosity\nof his countrymen to the _Cotton Darg_ (red coat), when the latter\nappealed to his generosity as an individual; and he, accordingly,\ndid not hesitate to offer an asylum under his roof to a _Saxon_\ncaptain and his son, who commanded a party employed in his immediate\nneighbourhood. His offer was thankfully accepted of, and while the\nstrangers were highly delighted at the cleanliness and economy of the\nhouse and family of their host, the latter was quite satisfied with\nthe frankness and urbanity of manners displayed by his guests. One\nthing, however, caused some feelings of uneasiness to John Roy, and\nthat was the extreme curiosity manifested by them, whenever they were\nin the company or presence of his English foundling, on whom their eyes\nwere continually rivetted, as if she were a ghost or a fairy. On one\noccasion, it happened that the captain\u2019s son lapsed into a state of\nthe profoundest meditation, gazing upon this lady with silent emotion.\n\u2018My son,\u2019 says the captain, his father, \u2018tell me what is the cause of\nyour deep meditation?\u2019--\u2018Father,\u2019 replies the sweet youth, \u2018I think on\nthe days that are gone; and of my dearest mother, who is now no more.\nI have been led into those reflections by the appearance of that lady\nwho is now before me. Oh, father! does she not strikingly resemble\nthe late partner of your heart; she for whom you so often mourn in\nsecret?\u2019--\u2018Indeed, my son,\u2019 replied the father, \u2018the resemblance has\nfrequently recurred to me too forcibly. Never were twin sisters more\nlike; and, were not the thing impossible, I should even say she was my\ndearest departed wife;\u2019--pronouncing her name as he spoke, and also\nthe names of characters nearly connected to both parties. Attracted by\nthe mention of her real name, which she had not heard repeated for a\nnumber of years before, and attracted still more by the nature of their\nconversation, the lady, on strict examination of the appearance of the\nstrangers, instantly recognised her tender husband and darling son.\nNatural instinct could be no longer restrained. She threw herself upon\nher husband\u2019s bosom; and Ossian, the son of Fingal, could not describe\nin adequate terms the transports of joy that prevailed at the meeting.\nSuffice it to say, that the _Saxon_ lady was again restored to her\naffectionate husband, pure and unblemished as when he lost her, and\nJohn Roy gratified by the only reward he would accept of--the pleasure\nof doing good.\u201d\n\nFrom the sequel of the story, it appears that some of the hordes of\nfairies, inhabiting the \u201cShian of Coir-laggack,\u201d found it convenient,\nfor purposes which may be easily guessed at, to take a trip to the\nsouth of England, and made no scruple to kidnap this lady in the\nabsence of her husband, and on the occasion of her accouchement. A\nstock was, of course, deposited in her stead--which, of _course_, died\nin a few days after--and which, of _course_, was interred in the full\npersuasion of _its_ being the lady in question, with all the splendour\nwhich her merits deserved. Thus would the perfidious fairies have\nenjoyed the fruits of their cunning, without even a suspicion of their\nknavery, were it not for the \u201ccleverness and generosity of John Roy,\nwho once lived in Glenbrown.\u201d\n\nThe natural passions, lusts, and covetousness of which we have now\nshown the fairies to be possessed, are not, however, our only grounds\nfor calling in question the fitness of their title to angelic nature\nand attributes. For it will be seen, from some traits in their\ncharacter about to be detailed, that their appetites are as keen and\nvoluptuous as their inclinations are corrupt and wicked. Our readers\nwould be apt to believe, from the first outline of their character,\nthat they were an amiable, harmless race of people, strictly honest,\nand given entirely to innocent amusements. But it is a fact too well\nknown, that many of them are employed in very different avocations\nfrom mirth and dancing; for, to repeat an old Scottish proverb, \u201cif\na\u2019 tales be true,\u201d thieving and blackguarding occupy fully as much of\ntheir time as mirth and dancing. And what is still worse, it is much\nsuspected that their proneness to theft and knavery is not so much the\neffect of necessity, as it is the effect of wanton depravity. However\nbase and degrading in the eyes of society appears the thief, even when\nhis deviation from honesty is the result of _sheer_ necessity, he\nappears infinitely more so when he is solely led to the commission of\ncrimes from wanton levity. Hence the indignation which a worthy man\nfeels, whenever those pilfering depredators embezzle the fruits of his\nhonest industry. The _whirlwind_ is not the alone engine of robbery to\nwhich the fairies resort; they recur to others of a more direct and\nruinous character; while the loser, from the speciousness of their\nartifices, is seldom conscious of the true cause of his loss. In order\nto expose the wantonness of such pillage as they will be shown to be\nguilty of, we need only call our reader\u2019s attention to the extent of\nthe indisputable perquisites which they derive from fire and other\ncalamities incident to the estate of man, many of which calamities, we\nare told, are accomplished by their agency. As, however, we would not\nreadily accuse them of crimes so atrocious, without some foundation,\nwe submit the following particulars to the judgment of our readers,\nleaving them to draw their own inferences.\n\n\u201cOne day a fairy woman, residing in the turrets of Craig-Aulnaic,\ncalled on one of the tenants\u2019 wives in Delnabo, in her neighbourhood,\nand requested of her the loan of a firlot of oatmeal for meat to her\nfamily, promising she would return it in a very short time, as she\nherself hourly expected a considerable supply. Not choosing, for so\nsmall a trifle, to incur the fairy\u2019s displeasure, the tenant\u2019s wife\ncomplied with her request, from the same motives as if she had been the\nexciseman. After regaling the fairy with a dram and bread and cheese,\nas is the custom of the country, she went out to give her the customary\nconvoy. On ascending the eminence above the town, the \u2018_Benshi_\u2019\npaused, and, with apparent exultation, told the tenant\u2019s wife that she\nmight take her meal home with her, as she herself was now supplied as\nshe expected. The woman, without putting any impertinent questions\nto the lady as to the source whence her supply proceeded, cheerfully\nagreed to receive back her meal, and took leave of her visitor. She\nwas not a little surprised, however, to observe, in a few minutes\nthereafter, the corn-kiln of an adjacent farm in total conflagration,\nwith all its contents.\u201d\n\nOver and above this, all liquids spilled on the ground are supposed\nto go to their use; and there are some people even so charitable as\npurposely to reserve for their participation a share of the best they\npossess. It is not unlikely that such generous actions were in some\ndegree influenced by such returns as the following:--\n\n\u201cOnce upon a time, a farmer, in Strathspey, was engaged sowing a field\nupon his farm, and, as is not uncommon, he accompanied his labours\nwith a cheerful song. Now the fairies are very fond of music, and\nnot less so of spoil,--and whether it was the music or the seed that\nattracted her most to the spot, certain it is, that a fairy damsel,\nof great beauty and elegance, presented herself to the farmer. She\nrequested of him, as a particular favour, to sing her an old Gaelic\nsong, \u2018_Nighan Donne na Bual_;\u2019 and, when this favour was granted\nher, she sought of him a present of corn. Although he had far less\nobjections to her first request than he had to her second, he did\nnot flatly refuse her, but he did what any prudent man would do in\nsimilar circumstances,--he inquired what she would give him in return.\nShe answered, that, provided he granted her request, his seed would\nnot the more speedily fail him; and this assurance she enforced with\na look so significant, as to induce him at once to supply her very\nliberally from his bag. She then departed, and he resumed his work.\nHe was soon after very agreeably surprised, when he found that, after\nsowing abundantly a large field, wont to take five times the bulk\nof his bag, it appeared equal in size and weight to what it was when\nhe met with the fairy nymph. Far from being in the least confounded\nat the agreeable circumstance, he threw his bag over his shoulder,\nhighly satisfied at the act of munificence he did in the morning, and\nsowed with it another field of equal extent, without its exhibiting\nany appearance of diminution. Perfectly satisfied now with his day\u2019s\nlabour, he returned home, fully determined to take care of his bag.\nBut, just as he was entering the barn door, who met him but his wife,\n\u2018who was a foolish talkative hussey, having a tongue as long, and a\nhead as empty, as the parish church bell.\u2019 With her usual loquacity she\naccosted him, expressing her astonishment at the unaccountable nature\nof the sack, that had thus sown half their farm,--expressing, moreover,\nvery notable suspicions of the cause. Now it is well known that,\nwhenever any supernatural agency is challenged, the spell is instantly\nbroken. So that the clashmaclavering Jezebel had scarcely uttered those\ninconsiderate and highly reprehensible words, when the burden on the\nfarmer\u2019s back became an empty bag. \u2018I\u2019ll be your death, you foolish,\nfoolish woman,\u2019 exclaimed her woe-struck husband; \u2018were it not for your\nimprudent talk, this bag were worth its weight of gold.\u2019\u201d\n\nSuch relations as the foregoing should go very far to induce every\nprudent and foreseeing man to be on as friendly a footing as possible\nwith those capricious and all-powerful people, especially when their\nfriendship is to be purchased on such reasonable terms as those of\nwhich we have just read. The unhappy hero of the following narrative\nwas convinced, when too late, of the truth of this observation.\n\n\u201cA farmer, who at one time occupied the farm of Auchriachan, of\nStrathavon, was one day searching for his goats in a remote hill\nin Glenlivat, and what came on but a thick hazy fog, which marred\nhis way, and bewildered his senses. Every stone, magnified by the\ndelusion of the moment, appeared a mountain; every rivulet seemed\nto him to run in an opposite direction to its usual course; and the\nunhappy traveller thought of his fireside, which he expected never to\nsee more. Night came on apace; its horrific gloom, as it approached,\ndispelled the unhappy wanderer\u2019s forlorn hopes, and he now sat down to\nprepare for the world that has no end. Involved in perplexity at his\nunhappy situation, he threw a mournful look on the gloomy scene around\nhim, as if to bid the world an eternal adieu,--when, lo! a twinkling\nlight glimmered on his eye. It was a cheering blink that administered\ncomfort to his soul. His frigid limbs, which lately refused their\noffice, recovered their vigour. His exhausted frame became animated\nand energetic: and he immediately directed his course towards the\nlight, which, from its reflection, seemed not far distant. On reaching\nthe place, however, his joy was a good deal damped when he examined\nthe nature of the place whence the light reflected. A human foot\nnever seemed to have visited the scene; it was one of wildness and\nhorror. Life, however, is exceedingly sweet when we are on the brink\nof losing it, and necessity had so far subdued every vestige of fear,\nthat _Auchriachan_ resolved at all hazards to take a night\u2019s lodging\nwith the inmates, whatever their nature or calling might be. The door\nwas open, and he entered the place. His courage, however, was a good\ndeal appalled, on meeting at the door an old female acquaintance,\nwhose funeral he had recently attended, and who, it appeared, acted in\nthis family in the capacity of housewife. But this meeting, however\ndisagreeable it proved to Auchriachan in one respect, ultimately turned\nout a fortunate circumstance for him, inasmuch as his old acquaintance\nwas the happy means of saving his life. On observing Auchriachan--for\nthat was the farmer\u2019s title--enter the abode, she instantly ran towards\nhim, and told him he was done for, unless he chose to slip in into a\nbye-corner off the principal apartment, where he had better remain\nuntil she found an opportunity of effecting his escape. The advice of\nthe friendly housekeeper he thought it prudent to adopt, and he was\naccordingly content to hide himself in a crevice in the apartment.\nScarce had he done so, when there entered the dwelling an immense\nconcourse of fairies, who had been all day absent upon some important\nexpedition; and being well appetized by their journey, they all cried\nout for some food. Having all sat in council, the question proposed\nfor discussion was, \u2018What was their supper to consist of?\u2019--When an\nold sagacious looking fairy, who sat in the chimney corner, spoke as\nfollows: \u2018Celestial gentlemen, you all know and abhor that old miserly\nfellow the taxman of Auchriachan. Mean and penurious, he appropriates\nnothing to us; but, on the contrary, disappoints us of our very dues.\nBy learning too well the lesson taught him by his old and wizened\ngrand-mother, nothing escapes a blessing and a safeguard; and the\nconsequence is, that we cannot interfere with the gleanings on his\nfields, far less the stock and produce. Now, Auchriachan himself is not\nat home this night; he is in search of his goats, our allies,[E]--his\nless careful household have neglected the customary safeguards; and,\nlo! his goods are at our mercy. Come, let us have his favourite ox to\nsupper.\u2019--\u2018Bravo!\u2019 exclaimed the whole assembly; \u2018the opinion of Thomas\nRymer is always judicious; Auchriachan is certainly a miserable devil,\nand we shall have his favourite ox to supper.\u2019--\u2018But whence shall we\nprocure bread to eat with him?\u2019 inquired a greedy-looking fairy. \u2018We\nshall have the new baken bread of Auchriachan,\u2019 replied the sagacious\nand sage counsellor, Mr. Rymer; \u2018for he is a miserly old fellow--he\nhimself is not at home, and his wife has forgot to cross the first\nbannock.\u2019--\u2018Bravo!\u2019 exclaimed the whole assembly. \u2018By all means, let us\nhave the new baken bread of Auchriachan.\u2019\n\n\u201cThus did Auchriachan, honest man, who, indeed, was not at home,\nwith no very grateful feelings, learn the fate of his favourite ox,\nwithout, however, dissenting from the general voice that pronounced\nhis doom. And, in pursuance of the same unpleasant decision, he had\nthe additional mortification to see his ill-fated ox deliberately\nintroduced by the nose and killed in his presence. Meantime,\nwhen all were engaged cooking the ox, the officious housekeeper\ntook occasion, under pretence of some other errand, to relieve\nAuchriachan from his uncomfortable seclusion. On issuing forth from\nMr. Rymer\u2019s council-chamber, Auchriachan found the mist had entirely\ndisappeared--the stones were now of their natural size--the rivulets\nnow ran their usual course--the moon threw her silver mantle over the\nlately murky scene, and he had now no difficulty to make his way home,\nlamenting most sincerely the lot of his favourite ox.\n\n\u201cOn arriving at home, he was cordially welcomed by his happy family,\nwhose great anxiety for his safety was probably the cause of the\nomission of that duty that poor Auchriachan had so much cause to\ndeplore. His overjoyed wife, supposing her husband to be no doubt in a\nhungry case, provided a basket of new baked bread and milk, and urged\nhim to eat, for sure he might well be hungry. He did not, however, mind\nher solicitude for his comfort--he was sorry and sullen, and cared not\nfor the provision, particularly the bread, well knowing it was only\nan abominable phantom. At last he inquired, \u2018Which of you served the\noxen this night, my lads?\u2019--\u2018It was I, my father,\u2019 replied one of his\nsons. \u2018And did you mind the customary safeguard?\u2019--\u2018Indeed,\u2019 says the\nson, \u2018from my great agitation for the fate of my father, I believe I\nforgot.\u2019--\u2018Alas! alas!\u2019 exclaimed the affectionate farmer, \u2018my dear\nand favourite ox is no more!\u2019--\u2018What!\u2019 exclaims one of his sons, \u2018I\nsaw him alive not two hours ago!\u2019--\u2018It was only a fairy stock,\u2019 says\nAuchriachan. \u2018Bring him out here until I dispatch him.\u2019 The farmer\nthen, venting the most unqualified expressions of his indignation upon\nthe stock and its knavish proprietors, struck it such a pithy blow on\nthe forehead as felled it to the ground. Rolling down the brae, at the\nback of the house, to the bottom, there it lay and the bread along with\nit, both unmolested; for it was a remarkable circumstance, that neither\ndog nor cat ever put a tooth on the carcase.\u201d\n\nIt now only remains for us to describe the most heinous of all their\ncrimes, a crime which we are peculiarly reluctant to bring so openly\nto light, did not our impartiality as an historian compel us. This\ncrime consists in their destruction of human beings, and their cattle,\nby means of their magical dart, commonly called an elf-bolt. Those\nbolts are of various sizes, of a hard yellowish substance, resembling\nsomewhat the flint, for which they are no bad substitutes. The bolt\nis very frequently of the shape of a heart, its edges being indented\nlike a saw, and very sharp at the point. This deadly weapon the wicked\nfairy will throw at man or beast with such precision as seldom to\nmiss his aim; and whenever it hits, the stroke is fatal. Such is the\ngreat force with which it is flung, that on its striking the object it\ninstantaneously perforates it to the heart, and a sudden death is the\nconsequence. In the blinking of an eye, a man or an ox is struck down\ncold-dead, and, strange to say, the wound is not discernible to an\nordinary person, unless he is possessed of the charm that enables some\nwise people to trace the course of the bolt, and ultimately discover it\nin the dead body.--Note, whenever this fatal instrument is discovered,\nit should be carefully preserved, as it defends its possessor from the\nfatal consequences of the \u201c_Fay_,\u201d so long as he retains it about him.\n\nHaving now travelled over the leading traits of the fairy\u2019s character,\npublicly and privately, we shall now conclude our treatise of him by\nsubjoining a few of the most approved cures and safeguards, which\nafford protection from his dangerous practices. An abler historian\nmight be disposed to offer some learned observations on the strange\nincongruity of character exhibited by the fairy in the preceding\nsketches, and endeavour, if he could, to reconcile them so as to form\nany thing like a rational subject. As a plain unvarnished compiler,\nhowever, we have discharged our duty; we have detailed, to the best\nof our ability, the fairy\u2019s character, according to the nature of our\nmaterials; and if our delineations are strange and inconsistent, the\nfault lies either with the fairy or his professed historians, and not\nwith the mere machine, _ourself_, the compiler.\n\nGo to the summit of some stupendous cliff or mountain, where any\nspecies of quadruped has never fed nor trod, and gather of that herb\nin the Gaelic language called \u201c_Mohan_,\u201d which can be pointed out by\nany \u201c_wise_ person.\u201d This herb you will give to a cow, and of the milk\nof that cow you are to make a cheese, and whoever eats of that cheese\nis for ever after, as well as his gear, perfectly secure from every\nspecies of fairy agency.\n\nA piece of torch fir carried about the person, and a knife made of\niron which has never been applied to any purpose, are both excellent\npreservatives.\n\nA piece of cold iron or steel put into the bed of a lady \u201c_uneasy\nin her circumstances_\u201d will protect mother and offspring from being\n\u201c_Fayed_.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nPART III.\n\nBrownies.\n\n  Brownie has got a cowl and coat,\n  And never more will work a jot.\n\n\n\n\nBROWNIES.\n\n\nAlthough this mysterious and very useful agent has now become very\nrare among the Highland mountains, it appears that, at one time, he\nwas the common appendage of every family of rank in those countries.\nHence, his history and character are well known; and his memory still\nretains a powerful interest in the minds of the inhabitants. It may\nnot, therefore, be improper to give a condensed account of the most\nprominent traits of the Highland Brownie\u2019s character, to enable the\nreader to compare his manners and habits with those of the Brownie of\nBodspeck, or any other Brownie with the manners of whom he may happen\nto be acquainted.\n\nWith regard to the Brownie\u2019s origin, it is a point that is involved in\nmuch obscurity. It was always a peculiar trait in his character, that\nhe never would favour his earthly acquaintances with any information\nregarding his own private affairs. From some resemblance the Brownie\nbore to the Fairy, joined to a similarity of habits, it was shrewdly\nsuspected by the more discriminating sort of people, that if he were\nnot actually a member of the Fairy people, he was, at least, a mongrel\nspecies of them. But on this important topic the sagacious Brownie\nhimself opened not his mouth; leaving them to argue the matter as they\nthought proper.\n\nIn his personal appearance, the Highland Brownie was highly\ninteresting. His person was not quite so tall as that of the Fairy, but\nit was well proportioned and comely; and, from the peculiar brownness\nof his complexion, he received the appellation of _Brownie_.\n\nIn his manners and habits he differed widely from all the supernatural\nbeings of his day; inasmuch as he was laborious and faithful to his\nmaster\u2019s interest--content to labour day and night for no other fee\nor reward than a scanty diet, and occasionally a suit of cast-off\napparel. Hence, the possession of so cheap and useful an agent was\nan acquisition highly desirable. But he was what neither money nor\ninterest could procure. Having once united himself to the founder of an\nancient family, he adhered to him and to his issue so long as he had\nany lineal posterity; and hence it is, that the Brownie was only found\nthe heir-loom of an ancient and honourable family.\n\nUnexampled for his fidelity, he was the indefatigable guardian and\npromoter of his adopted master\u2019s interest; and, from his powers of\nprophecy and information, his services were truly invaluable. Over the\nservants he was always a vigilant and faithful spy, ready to give a\nfaithful account of their good or bad actions; and hence it followed,\nthat with these he was very seldom on a good understanding. So that,\nif the Brownie was left to the servants\u2019 mercy, he would not, in all\nlikelihood, fare the better for his fidelity. But if the master had any\nregard to his own interest, he was careful to have seen him properly\ncared for in his meat and in his drink, which care was rewarded by the\nmost unlimited devotion to his interest.\n\nThe last two brownies known in this quarter of the Highlands were long\nthe appendages of the ancient family of Tullochgorm in Strathspey. They\nwere male and female, and, for aught we know, they might likewise have\nbeen man and wife. The male was of an exceedingly jocose and humorous\ndisposition, often indulging in little sports at the expense of his\nfellow-servants. He had, in particular, a great trick of flinging clods\nat the passengers, and from thence he got the name of \u201c_Brownie-Clod_.\u201d\nHe had, however, with all his humour, a great deal of simplicity about\nhim, and became, in his turn, the dupe of those on whom he affected\nto play. An eminent instance of this appears from a contract into\nwhich he foolishly entered with the servants of Tullochgorm, whereby\nhe bound and obliged himself to thrash as much corn and straw as two\nmen could do for the space of a whole winter, on condition he was to\nbe gratified with an old coat and a Kilmarnock cowl, pieces of apparel\nfor which, it seems, he had a great liking. While the servants were\nreclining themselves at their ease upon the straw, poor Brownie-Clod\nthrashed on unremittingly, and performed such Herculean tasks as no\nhuman constitution could bear for a week together. Some time before the\nexpiry of the contract, the lads, out of pure gratitude and pity, left\nthe coat and cowl for him on a mow of corn in the barn, on receipt of\nwhich he instantly struck work, and with the greatest triumph at the\nidea of taking in his acquaintances, he sneeringly told them, that,\nsince they were so foolish as to give him the coat and cowl before he\nhad wrought for them, he would now decline to thrash another sheaf.\n\n  \u201cHuar Prownie coad agus curochd\n  Agus cha dian Prownie opar tullidh.\u201d\n\nThe female was more pawky in her ways; and, instead of being a\nlaughing-stock to the female-servants with whom she wrought, she\nwas a sort of a mistress over them. She was seldom on good terms\nwith them, in consequence of the fidelity with which she reported\ntheir neglect of duty to their master or mistress. It was her custom\nto wear a superabundance of hair, in consequence of which, she was\ncommonly called \u201c_Maug Vuluchd_,\u201d or \u201cHairy Mag.\u201d Mag was an honest\nand excellent housekeeper, and had the service of the table generally\nassigned her, in which capacity she was extremely useful. The dexterity\nand care with which she covered the table, always invisible, was\nnot less amusing to strangers than it was convenient to their host.\nWhatever was called for came as if it floated on the air, and lighted\non the table with the utmost ease and celerity; and, for cleanliness\nand attention, she had not her equal in this land.\n\n\n\n\nPART IV.\n\nWater-Kelpies.\n\n  When thaws dissolve the snawy hoord,\n  An\u2019 float the jingling icy boord,\n  The water-kelpies haunt the foord,\n                By your direction,\n  And nightly travellers are allur\u2019d\n                To their destruction.\n\n                    BURNS\u2019 _Address to the Deil_.\n\n\n\n\nWATER-KELPIES.\n\n\nIn the former and darker ages of the world when people had not half\nthe wit and sagacity they now possess, and when, consequently, they\nwere much easier duped by such designing agents, the \u201cEch Uisque,\u201d\nor _Water-Horse_, as the Kelpie is commonly called, was a well-known\ncharacter in those countries. The Kelpie was an infernal agent,\nretained in the service and pay of Satan, who granted him a commission\nto execute such services as appeared profitable to his interest. He\nwas an amphibious character, and generally took up his residence in\nlochs and pools, bordering on public roads and other situations, most\nconvenient for his professional calling.\n\nHis commission consisted in the destruction of human beings, without\naffording them time to prepare for their immortal interests, and thus\nendeavour to send their souls to his master, while he, the Kelpie,\nenjoyed the body. However, he had no authority to touch a human being\nof his own free accord, unless the latter was the aggressor. In order,\ntherefore, to delude public travellers and others to their destruction,\nit was the common practice of the Kelpie to assume the most fascinating\nform, and assimilate himself to that likeness which he supposed most\ncongenial to the inclinations of his intended victim. The likeness\nof a fine riding steed was his favourite disguise. Decked out in the\nmost splendid riding accoutrements, the perfidious Kelpie would place\nhimself in the weary traveller\u2019s way, and graze by the road-side with\nall the seeming innocence and simplicity in the world. The traveller,\nsupposing this fine horse to have strayed from his master, and\nconsidering him as a good _catch_ for carrying him a part of the way,\nwould approach the horse with the greatest caution, soothing it with\n_proogy proogy_, and many other terms of endearment, in the event of\nhis taking to his heels, as wild horses are sometimes apt to do. But\nthis horse knew better what he was about; he was as calm and peaceable\nas a lamb, until his victim was once fairly mounted on his back; with\na fiend-like yell he would then announce his triumph, and plunging\nheadlong with his woe-struck rider into an adjacent pool, enjoy him\nfor his repast. The following curious relation, communicated to the\ncompiler by the celebrated Mr. Wellox, who possesses the precious relic\ncaptured from the kelpie alluded to in the story, will complete all the\ninformation that is necessary regarding this once formidable entrapper\nof mankind:\n\n\u201cIn the time of my renowned ancestor, Mr. James Macgrigor, (rest to his\nsoul!) who was well known to be a good man, and a man of great strength\nand courage in his day, there was a most mischievous water-kelpie that\nlived in Lochness, and which committed the most atrocious excesses on\nthe defenceless inhabitants of the surrounding districts. It was the\ncommon practice of this iniquitous agent to prowl about the public\nroads, decked out in all the trappings of a riding horse, and in this\ndisguise place himself in the way of the passenger, who often took it\ninto his head to mount him, to his no small prejudice; for upon this\nthe vicious brute would immediately fly into the air, and in a jiffy\nlight with his rider in Lochnadorb, Lochspynie, or Lochness, where he\nwould enjoy his victim at his leisure. Filled with indignation at the\nrepeated relations he had heard of the kelpie\u2019s practices, my ancestor,\nMr. Macgrigor, ardently wished to fall in with his kelpieship, in order\nto have a bit of a communing with him touching his notorious practices.\nAnd Providence, in its wise economy, thought it meet that Mr. Macgrigor\nshould be gratified in his wish.\n\n\u201cOne day as he was travelling along \u2018_Slochd Muichd_,\u2019 a wild and\nsolitary pass on the road between Strathspey and Inverness, whom did\nhe observe but this identical water-kelpie, browsing away by the\nroad-side with the greatest complacency, thinking, no doubt, in his\nmind, that he would kidnap Mr. Macgrigor as he had done others. But\nin this idea he found himself wofully mistaken! For no sooner did Mr.\nMacgrigor espy him, than he instantly determined to have a trial of\nhis mettle. Accordingly, marching up to the horse, who thought, no\ndoubt, he was just coming to mount him, Mr. Macgrigor soon convinced\nhim of the contrary by drawing his trusty sword, with which he dealt\nthe kelpie such a pithy blow on the nose, as almost felled him to the\nground. The stroke maltreated the kelpie\u2019s jaw very considerably,\ncutting through his bridle, in consequence of which, one of the bits,\nbeing that which you have just examined, fell down on the ground.\nObserving the bit lying at his feet, Mr. Macgrigor had the curiosity\nto pick it up, whilst the astonished kelpie was recovering from the\neffects of the blow, and this bit Mr. Macgrigor carelessly threw\ninto his pocket. He then prepared for a renewal of his conflict with\nits former owner, naturally supposing the kelpie would return him\nhis compliment. But what was Mr. Macgrigor\u2019s surprise, when he found\nthat, instead of retorting his blow, and fighting out the matter to\nthe last, the kelpie commenced a cool dissertation upon the injustice\nand illegality of Mr. Macgrigor\u2019s proceedings. \u2018What is your business\nwith me?\u2019 says he. \u2018What is your business with me, Mr. Macgrigor? I\nhave often heard of you as a man of great honour and humanity; why,\ntherefore, thus abuse a poor defenceless animal like me, let me be\na horse, or let me be a kelpie, so long as I did you no harm? In my\nhumble opinion, Mr. Macgrigor,\u2019 continued the kelpie, \u2018you acted both\ncruelly and illegally; and certainly your conduct would justify me, if\nI should return you twofold your assault upon me. However, I abominate\nquarrels of this sort,\u2019 says the conciliatory kelpie, \u2018and if you\npeaceably return me the bit of my bridle, we shall say no more on the\nsubject.\u2019 To this learned argument of the kelpie Mr. Macgrigor made\nno other reply than flatly denying his request, in the first place;\nand, in the second place, mentioning, in pretty unqualified terms,\nhis opinion of his character and profession. \u2018It is true,\u2019 replied\nthe other, \u2018that I am what you call a kelpie; but it is known to my\nheart, that my profession was never quite congenial to my feelings.\nWe kelpies engage in many _disagreeable undertakings_. But, as the\nproverb says, Necessity has no law; and there is no profession that\na man or spirit will not sometimes try, _for the sake of an honest\nlivelihood_: so you will please have the goodness to give me the bit of\nmy bridle.\u2019 Observing the great anxiety evinced by the kelpie to have\nthe bit of his bridle restored to him, and feeling anxious to learn\nits properties, my sagacious ancestor immediately concocted a plan,\nwhereby he might elicit from the poor dupe of a kelpie an account of\nits virtues. \u2018Well, Mr. Kelpie,\u2019 says Mr. Macgrigor, \u2018all your logic\ncannot change my opinion of the criminality of your profession, though,\nI confess, it has somewhat disarmed me of my personal hostility to\nyou as a member of it; I am, therefore, disposed to deliver up to you\nthe bit of your bridle, but it is on this express condition, that you\nwill favour me with an account of its use and qualities, for I am\nnaturally very _curious_, do you know.\u2019 To this proposition the kelpie\njoyfully acceded, and thus addressed Mr. Macgrigor: \u2018My dear sir, you\nmust know that such agents as I are invested by our Royal Master with\na particular commission, consisting of some document delivered to us\nby his own hand. The commission delivered to a kelpie consists in a\nbridle invested with all those powers of transformation, information,\nand observation, necessary for our calling; and wherever we lose\nthis commission, whether voluntarily or by accident, our power is\nat an end, and certain annihilation within four and twenty hours is\nthe consequence. Had it not been that my bridle was broken by your\nmatchless blow, I must be so candid as to declare, I might have broken\nevery bone in your body; but now you are stronger than myself, and you\ncan be half a kelpie at your pleasure: only please to look through the\nholes of the bit of the bridle, and you will see myriads of invisible\nagents, fairies, witches, and devils, all flying around you, the\nsame as if you had been gifted with the second-sight, and all their\nmachinations clearly exposed to your observation.\u2019--\u2018My dear sir,\u2019\nreplied my ancestor, \u2018I am much obliged to you for your information;\nbut I am sorry to inform you, that your relation has so endeared the\nbit of your bridle to myself, that I have resolved to keep it for your\nsake. I could not persuade myself to part with it for any consideration\nwhatever.\u2019--\u2018What!\u2019 exclaimed the petrified Kelpie, \u2018do you really\nmean, in the face of our solemn agreement, to retain the bit of my\nbridle?\u2019--\u2018I not only mean it, but I am resolved on it,\u2019 replies my\nancestor, who immediately proceeded to make the best of his way home\nwith the bit. \u2018Come, come,\u2019 the Kelpie would perpetually exclaim, \u2018you\nhave carried the joke far enough, you surely do not mean to keep my\nbridle?\u2019--\u2018Time will show,\u2019 was always his laconic answer. The Kelpie\nstill continued his earnest entreaties, interlarded with anecdotes of\ngreat squabbles which he had formerly had with as powerful characters\nas Mr. Macgrigor, and which always ended to his eminent advantage,\nbut which, he politely insinuated, he would be sorry to see repeated.\nBut when his grief and solicitude for his bridle began to evince\nthemselves in a threatening aspect, a single flourish of his trusty\nsword disarmed him of all his might, and made him calm as a cat. At\nlength, when they arrived in sight of Mr. Macgrigor\u2019s house, his grief\nand despair for his bridle became perfectly outrageous. Galloping off\nbefore Mr. Macgrigor, the Kelpie told him as he went, that he and the\nbit should never pass his threshold together; and, in pursuance of\nthis assurance, he planted himself in Mr. Macgrigor\u2019s door, summoning\nup all his powers for the impending conflict. However, James Macgrigor\nresolved, if possible, to evade the Kelpie\u2019s decree; and accordingly\ngoing to a back window in his house, he called his wife towards him,\nand threw the bit of the Kelpie\u2019s bridle into her lap. He then returned\nto the Kelpie, who stood sentry at his door, and told him candidly he\nwas a miserable legislator; for that, in spite of his decree, the bit\nof his bridle was that moment in his wife\u2019s possession. The Kelpie, now\nfinding himself fairly outwitted, saw the vanity of contending with\nJames Macgrigor and his claymore, for what could not be recovered. As\nthere was a rowan cross above the door, his kelpieship could no more\nenter the house than he could pass through the eye of a needle; and he,\ntherefore, thought it best to take himself off, holding forth, at the\nsame time, the most beastly language to my ancestor, which he most\nsincerely despised.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nPART V.\n\nSpunkies.\n\n  An\u2019 oft your moss-traversing spunkies\n  Decoy some wight that late and drunk is;\n  The bleezin, curst, mischievous monkies\n                        Delude his eyes,\n  Till in some miry slough he sunk is,\n                        Ne\u2019er more to rise.\n\n                           BURNS\u2019 _Address to the Deil_.\n\n\n\n\nSPUNKIES.\n\n\nThe Spunkie is another of those now-retired ministers, formerly\nemployed by the Enemy of mankind to accomplish their destruction.\nAnd, in all truth, he could not have taken into his pay a servant\nmore faithful to his trust than the spunkie. Whenever the traveller\nhad the misfortune to lose his way, or whenever there was a prospect\nof deluding him from it, this vigilant _link-boy_ was ever at hand,\nto light him into far worse quarters than even the purlieus of Covent\nGarden.\n\nSuddenly the traveller\u2019s attention was arrested by the most resplendent\nlight, apparently reflected from a window not far distant; which,\nhowever, as the traveller approached, receded from him like the\nrainbow. Still pursuing his course towards it, the wily spunkie\nman\u0153uvred so dexterously, that the unhappy wanderer was speedily\ndecoyed into the nearest moss or precipice. Plunging headlong into some\nfatal abyss, the deluded victim never returned to his mourning wife and\nfamily, to relate to them the spunkie\u2019s perfidy.\n\nHappily now, however, the roads are better, and travellers more\ncautious. All the glittering meteors of the spunkie cannot make the\nknowing Highlander of the present day turn to the right or to the left.\nSo that the spunkie has now shut shop, and become bankrupt in his\ndepartment.\n\n\n\n\nPART VI.\n\nWitchcraft.\n\n  When Satan, for weighty dispatches,\n    Sought messengers cunning and bold,\n  He pass\u2019d by the beautiful faces,\n    And pick\u2019d out the ugly and old.\n\n                                    VOLLE.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER I.\n\nORIGIN AND HISTORY OF WITCHCRAFT.\n\n\nWe are now come to consider and describe the ancient and well-known\norder of Witchcraft; the nature and object of which require very little\nexplanation in a country where it has been so long established as in\nScotland. Taking a retrospective view of the rise and progress of this\nonce flourishing institution, we are told it was founded by the Grand\nMaster, shortly after the creation of the world. That the wickedness\nof the inhabitants having kept pace with their increase, Satan found\nwork multiplying so fast on his hands, that his own spiritual minions,\nnumerous as they were, became inadequate to their employment. Being\nseldom blind to his own interest, the idea of enlisting a few human\ninstruments to supply their deficiencies naturally suggested itself to\nhis fertile genius, and such has been the thirst for magic and power,\nwhich has at all times pervaded the old women of those countries, that\nhe never had great difficulty in procuring abundance of volunteers to\njoin his banners.\n\nHaving thus established his new order of emissaries, Satan found them\nto answer his purposes uncommonly well. They drudged on in his work\nso laboriously, and with such good success, that he found them more\nprofitable tools, for deluding and _hooking-in_ the best portion of\nmankind, than his own proper agents, whose means of communication and\nseduction were much more confined and disadvantageous. Accordingly, he\nhas found it his interest to continue the institution to this day.\n\nIt will, no doubt, prove a matter of some astonishment to the amiable\nand considerate reader, how any body that has the honour of wearing\na human face could think of espousing so desperate a cause, for the\nsake of any gratification which Satan\u2019s kingdom affords. Common fame\nerrs too much, if he is at all a liberal master to those who are his\nservants, for it is said he seldom or never fulfils his conditions with\nany one of them. Though mighty forward to enter into pactions, and\nextraordinarily liberal in his terms while making a bargain, he is said\nto be far less ready to perform his share of the conditions when it is\nonce concluded; and what is still worse, when he forfeits a penalty,\nthere is no law that can exact it of him. Accordingly, we have heard of\nnot a few deluded mortals, who sold themselves to him for sums of money\nand other considerations, but never yet heard of his having paid the\npurchase money.\n\nSo once fared a poor needy wretch of a Highlandman, that bartered his\nsoul to Satan for a cow, and who never could get the latter to fulfil\nhis bargain. It is no doubt true, that after much importunity he did at\nlength perform his stipulation, in a way not very creditable to him.\nUrgently importuned by the disponer to give him his cow, he ultimately\nfetched him one, which was but a few hours in his possession, when it\nwas challenged by a third party as his stolen property; unwilling to\nexplain how he came by it, the poor fellow was flung into a prison,\nand speedily brought before the laird for trial. In this distressing\nsituation, the disponer was compelled to tell the truth and the manner\nhe came by the cow, not doubting but that the disclosure would have\nat once exculpated him from the charge. But unfortunately for him,\nhis ingenuous confession failed of its object, and the poor man was\ncondemned to the _wuddie_, reserving to him such recourse against Satan\nas he might be advised to adopt.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER II.\n\nOF THE AGENT\u2019S QUALIFICATIONS, AND CEREMONIES OF THEIR CONSTITUTION.\n\n\nWhen the candidates for Satan\u2019s employment have, by a course of\nprobation, given sufficient proofs of their ability for the discharge\nof the duties of the profession they are about to adopt, and when they\nhave arrived at an age befitting the importance of the calling, men\nand women are equally eligible, though it is well known that women are\npreferred. Their initiation into infernal orders is preceded by the\nexecution of a formal covenant with Satan, sealed with the mutual blood\nof the parties, whereby, for the considerations therein expressed,\nSatan engages, on the one hand, to commit to the entrant the various\npowers and qualifications which shall be detailed in the following\npages; and, on the other hand, the said entrant binds and obliges\nhimself, or herself, to apply himself, or herself, faithfully and\ndiligently in his service, by day and by night, promising to conceal\nthe secrets of his trade and profession, (much in the style of our\ncommon indentures). The candidates are then inducted into the mysteries\nand secrets of their new profession with great pomp, in presence of\nthe Royal Grand Master, who, set forth in _proprio terrore_, presides\nover the ceremony. The place selected for this imposing ceremony is\nnot unfrequently a spacious lake or pool, the members of the craft in\nattendance being furnished with their seaworthy navy, their brooms and\nriddles. The following particulars relative to an intended initiation,\nwhich was attempted in Strathdown, \u201cin the memory of the grandmothers\nof some people still living,\u201d while it conveys some idea of such a\nscene as that to which we alluded, may also prove a warning to those\nwho may be thoughtlessly led to embrace the profession.\n\n\u201cIn the time of my grandmother, the farm of _Delnabo_ was\nproportionally divided between three tenants. At first equally\ncomfortable in their circumstances, it was in the course of some time\nremarked by all, and by none more forcibly than by one of the said\nthree portioners, that, although superior in point of industry and\ntalent to his two fellow-portioners, one of the tenants was daily\nlapsing into poverty, while his two neighbours were daily improving in\nestate. Amazed and grieved at the adverse fortune which thus attended\nhis family, compared to the prosperous condition of his neighbours, the\nwife of the poor man was in the habit of expressing her astonishment at\nthe circumstance, not only to her own particular friends, but likewise\nto the wives of her neighbours themselves. On one of these occasions,\nthe other two wives asked her what would she do to ameliorate her\ncondition, if it were in her power? She answered them, she would do any\nthing whatever. (Here the other wives thought they had got a gudgeon,\nthat would snap at any bait, and immediately resolved to make her\ntheir confidant.) \u2018Well, then,\u2019 says one of the other two wives, \u2018if\nyou agree to keep our communications strictly secret, and implicitly\nobey our instructions, neither poverty nor want shall ever assail you\nmore.\u2019 This speech of the other wife immediately impressed the poor\nman\u2019s wife with a strong suspicion of their real character. Dissembling\nall surprise at the circumstance, she promised to agree to all their\nconditions. She was then directed, when she went to bed that night,\nto carry along with her the floor-broom, well known for its magical\nproperties, which she was to leave by her husband\u2019s side in the course\nof the night, and which would represent her so exactly, that the\nhusband could not distinguish the difference in the morning. They, at\nthe same time, enjoined her to discard all fears of detection, as their\nown husbands had been satisfied with those lovely substitutes (the\nbrooms) for a great number of years. Matters being thus arranged, she\nwas desired to join them at the hour of midnight, in order to accompany\nthem to that scene which was to realize her future happiness.\n\n\u201cPromising to attend to their instructions, the poor man\u2019s wife took\nleave of her neighbours, full of those sensations of horror which the\ndiscovery of such depravity was calculated to produce in a virtuous\nmind. Hastening home to her husband, she thought it no crime to break\nher promise to her wicked neighbours, and, like a dutiful and prudent\nwife, to reveal to the husband of her bosom the whole particulars of\ntheir interview. The husband greatly commended his wife\u2019s fidelity,\nand immediately entered into a collusion with her, which displays no\nordinary degree of ingenuity. It was agreed that the husband should\nexchange apparel with the wife, and that he should, in this disguise,\naccompany the wives to the place appointed, to see what cantrips they\nintended to perform. He accordingly arrayed himself in his wife\u2019s\nhabiliments, and, at the hour of midnight, joined the party at the\nplace appointed. The \u2018_Bride_,\u2019 as they called him, was most cordially\nreceived by the two Ladies of the Broom, who warmly congratulated\nthe \u2018Bride\u2019 upon _her_ good fortune, and the speedy consummation of\n_her_ happiness. He was then presented with a fir-torch, a broom,\nand a riddle, articles with which they themselves were furnished.\nThey directed their course along the banks of the rolling Avon, until\nthey reached Craic-pol-nain, or the Craig of the Birdspool. Here, in\nconsequence of the steepness of the craig, they found it convenient to\npass to the other side of the river. This passage they effected without\nthe use of their navy, the river being fordable at the place. They\nthen came in sight of Pol-nain, and, lo! what human eye ever witnessed\nsuch a scene before! The pool appeared as if actually enveloped in\na flame of fire. A hundred torches blazed aloft, reflecting their\nbeams on the towering woods of Loynchork. And what ear ever heard\nsuch shrieks and yells as proceeded from the horrid crew engaged at\ntheir hellish orgies on Pol-nain? Those cries were, however, sweet\nmusic to the two wives of Delnabo. Every yell produced from them a\nburst of unrestrained pleasure, and away they frisked, leaving the\namiable _bride_ a considerable way behind. For the fact is, that he\nwas in no hurry to reach the scene, and when he did reach it, it was\nwith a determination to be only a spectator, and not a participator\nin the night\u2019s performance. On reaching the pool\u2019s side he saw what\nwas going on,--he saw abundance of hags steering themselves to and\nfro in their riddles, by means of their oars the brooms, hallooing\nand skirling worse than the bogles, and each holding in her left hand\na torch of fir,--whilst at other times they would swirl themselves\ninto a row, and make profound obeisance to a large black ugly tyke,\nperched on a lofty rock, who was no doubt the \u2018muckle thief\u2019 himself,\nand who was pleased to acknowledge most graciously those expressions\nof their loyalty and devotion, by bowing, grinning, and clapping his\npaws. Having administered to the _bride_ some preliminary instructions,\nthe impatient wives desired him to remain by the pool\u2019s side until\nthey should commune with his Satanic Highness on the subject of\n_her_ inauguration, directing _her_, as they proceeded on their\nvoyage across the pool, to speed them in their master\u2019s name. To this\norder of the black pair the _bride_ was resolved to pay particular\nattention. As soon as they were embarked in their riddles, and had\nwriggled themselves, by means of their brooms, into a proper depth of\nwater, \u2018Go,\u2019 says he, \u2018in the name of the Best.\u2019 A horrid yell from\nthe witches announced their instant fate,--the magic spell was now\ndissolved--crash went the riddles, and down sank the two witches, never\nmore to rise, amidst the shrieks and lamentations of the Old Thief\nand all his infernal crew, whose combined power and policy could not\nsave them from a watery end. All the torches were extinguished in an\ninstant, and the affrighted company fled in different directions, in\nsuch forms and similitudes as they thought most convenient for them\nto adopt; and the _wily bride_ returned home at his leisure, enjoying\nhimself vastly at the clever manner in which he had executed the\ninstructions of his deceased friends. On arriving at his house, he\ndressed himself in his own clothes, and, without immediately satisfying\nhis wife\u2019s curiosity at the result of his excursion, he yoked his\ncattle, and commenced his morning labours with as little concern as\nusual. His two neighbours, who were not even conscious of the absence\nof their wives, (so ably substituted were they by the brooms,) did\nthe same. Towards breakfast-time, however, the two neighbours were\nnot a little astonished that they observed no signs of their wives\nhaving risen from bed--notwithstanding their customary earliness--and\nthis surprise they, expressed to the _late bride_, their neighbour.\nThe latter archly remarked, that he had great suspicions, in his\nown mind, of their _rising_ even that day. \u2018What mean you by that?\u2019\nreplied they. \u2018We left our wives apparently in good health when we\nourselves arose.\u2019--\u2018Find them now,\u2019 was the reply--the bride setting\nup as merry a whistle as before. Running each to his bed, what was the\nastonishment of the husbands, when, instead of his wife, he only found\nan old broom. Their neighbour then told them, that, if they chose to\nexamine Pol-nain well, they would find both their dear doxies there.\nThe grieving husbands accordingly proceeded thither, and, with the\nnecessary instruments, dragged their late worthy partners to dry land;\nand afterwards privately interred them. The shattered vessels and oars\nof those unfortunate navigators, whirling about the pool, satisfied\ntheir lords of the manner by which they came to their _ends_; and their\nnames were no longer mentioned by their kindred in the land. It need\nscarcely be added, that the poor man gradually recovered his former\nopulence; and that, in the course of a short time, he was comparatively\nas rich as he was formerly poor.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER III.\n\nOF THE PERSONAL SIMILITUDE OF THE AGENTS OR MEMBERS OF THE CRAFT.\n\n\nIt is well known, that no sooner do men or women enter on this\nprofession, than there is a striking change in their personal\nappearance. Their countenances are no longer the emblems of human\nnature, but the sign-posts of malice and bad luck. \u201cLooking like a\nwitch\u201d is a proverb that has been always descriptive of the most\nexquisite ugliness; and whoever has seen the frontispiece of a Highland\nwitch will be satisfied with its force and propriety.\n\nThe face is so wrinkled, that it commonly resembles the channels of\ndried waters, and the colour of it resembles nothing so much as a piece\nof rough tanned leather. The eyes are small and piercing, sunk into\nthe forehead, like the expiring remains of a candle in a socket. The\nnose is large, prominent, and sharp, forming a bridge to the contacting\nchin. These are represented as the amiable features of a witch. The\nwizard\u2019s appearance differs very little from that of his amiable sister\nthe witch, only that his face is covered over with a preternatural\nredundance of hair, and that he wears beneath his chin a bunch of hair\nin the manner of a goat.\n\nIt has been long a subject of tough controversy to what cause this\nstriking deformity is justly to be ascribed. Some logicians rationally\nenough maintain, that the characteristic deformity of the order arises\nfrom their frequent interviews with Satan; that the tremor of the\nlimbs, the horror of the aspect, and stare of the eyes, with which they\nare always seized during the season of their noviciation, are rendered\nhabitual to them by the force of custom, which is justly called a\nsecond nature. And, in support of this doctrine, we are told it is a\nfact, that, whenever we behold a ghost, or any other _uncanny_ being,\nour features become contracted exactly the same way. But, be this as it\nmay, it is an acknowledged fact, that ugliness was, from the beginning\nof their cast, their distinguishing characteristic.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER IV.\n\nOF THEIR PROFESSIONAL POWERS AND PRACTICES.\n\n\nOn a nearer examination of a witch\u2019s character, we will find her face a\nvery correct index to her heart. She is the arch-enemy of whatever is\ngood and amiable. Invested as she is with as ample powers of seduction\nand mischief as Satan himself, she is equally expert in accomplishing\nthe ruin of the soul and body of the objects of her malignity. In\norder to convey to the reader an idea of those powers with which she\nis invested, and which she never fails to exercise, we shall detail\nthem in their order, illustrating our statements, as we go along, with\nproofs from the best authorities.\n\nThe most formidable of all the powers conferred on a witch consists in\nthe torture and destruction of human beings by infernal machination.\nThere are various processes by which those hellish practices are\naccomplished, but the most common process is that invented and used by\nthat eminent and distinguished witch, \u201c_Crea Mhoir cun Drochdair_,\u201d\nwho was burnt and worried at a stake at Inverness, about two centuries\nago, for bewitching and keeping in torment the body of the provost\u2019s\nson. Crea made an effigy of clay and other hellish ingredients, into\nwhich she stuck pins and other sharp instruments. This effigy of the\nprovost\u2019s son she placed on a spit at a large fire, and by these\ncantrips the hag communicated such agonizing torments to the young\ngentleman, that he must have had speedily fallen a victim to his\nsufferings, had it not been for the happy discovery made by means of a\nlittle grandchild of Crea Mhoir\u2019s, who divulged the whole secret to a\nlittle companion, for the small gratification of a piece of bread and\ncheese. But although Crea, honest woman, was long ago disposed of, to\nthe great comfort and satisfaction of her countrymen, who naturally\nenough ascribed to her all the calamities which happened in the country\nduring her lifetime, she left behind her the immortal fruits of her\ngenius, for the benefit of her black posterity, in those mischievous\ninventions practised by the witches of latter times, who understand the\nknack of torturing their unhappy contemporaries in all its branches, as\nexemplified in the cases of several worthies noticed in the sequel.\n\nThe next important power of a witch and a warlock consists in their\ncontrol over air and water, whereby they raise most dreadful storms and\nhurricanes by sea and by land, and thus accomplish the destruction of\nmany a valuable life, which otherwise might have been long spared. The\nfollowing account of the loss of a most excellent gentleman exhibits\ntoo melancholy an instance of the success of their experiments in this\nway:\n\n\u201cJohn Garve Macgillichallum of Razay was an ancient hero of great\ncelebrity. Distinguished in the age in which he lived for the\ngallantry of his exploits, he has often been selected by the bard as\nthe theme of his poems and songs. Alongst with a constitution of body\nnaturally vigorous and powerful, Razay was gifted with all those noble\nqualities of the mind which a true hero is supposed to possess. And\nwhat reflected additional lustre on his character, was that he never\nfailed to apply his talents and powers to the best uses. He was the\nactive and inexorable enemy of the weird sisterhood, many of whom he\nwas the auspicious instrument of sending to their \u2018black inheritance\u2019\nmuch sooner than they either expected or desired. It was not therefore\nto be supposed, that, while those amiable actions endeared Razay to all\ngood people, they were at all calculated to win him the regard of those\ninfernal hags to whom he was so deadly a foe. As might be naturally\nexpected, they cherished towards him the most implacable thirst of\nrevenge, and sought, with unremitting vigilance, for an opportunity of\nquenching it. That such an opportunity did unhappily occur, and that\nthe meditated revenge of these hags was too well accomplished, will\nspeedily appear from this melancholy story.\n\n\u201cIt happened upon a time that Razay and a number of friends planned\nan expedition to the island of Lewes, for the purpose of hunting the\ndeer of that place. They accordingly embarked on board the chieftain\u2019s\nyacht, manned by the flower of the young men of Razay, and in a few\nhours they chased the fleet-bounding hart on the mountains of Lewes.\nTheir sport proved excellent. Hart after hart, and hind after hind,\nwere soon levelled to the ground by the unerring hand of Razay; and\nwhen night terminated the chase, they retired to their shooting\nquarters, where they spent the night with joviality, and mirth, little\ndreaming of their melancholy fate in the morning.\n\n\u201cIn the morning of next day, the chief of Razay and his followers rose\nwith the sun, with the view of returning to Razay. The day was squally\nand occasionally boisterous, and the billows raged with great violence.\nBut Razay was determined to cross the channel to his residence, and\nordered his yacht to prepare for the voyage. The more cautious and\nless courageous of his suite, however, urged on him to defer the\nexpedition till the weather should somewhat settle--an advice which\nRazay, with a courage which knew no fear, rejected, and expressed his\nfirm determination to proceed without delay. Probably with a view to\ninspire his company with the necessary degree of courage to induce\nthem all to concur in the undertaking, he adjourned with them to the\nferry-house, where they had recourse to that supporter of spirits under\nevery trial, the usquebaugh, a few bottles of which added vastly to\nthe resolution of the company. Just as the party were disputing the\npracticability of the proposed adventure, an old woman, with wrinkled\nfront, bending on a crutch, entered the ferry-house; and Razay, in the\nheat of argument, appealed to the old woman, whether the passage of\nthe channel on such a day was not perfectly practicable and free from\ndanger. The woman, without hesitation, replied in the affirmative,\nadding such observations, reflecting on their courage, as immediately\nsilenced every opposition to the voyage; and accordingly the whole\nparty embarked in the yacht for Razay. But, alas! what were the\nconsequences? No sooner were they abandoned to the mercy of the waves\nthan the elements seemed to conspire to their destruction. All attempts\nto put back the vessel proved unavailing, and she was speedily driven\nout before the wind in the direction of Razay. The heroic chieftain\nlaboured hard to animate his company, and to dispel the despair which\nbegan to seize them, by the most exemplary courage and resolution. He\ntook charge of the helm, and, in spite of the combined efforts of the\nsea, wind, and lightning, he kept the vessel steadily on her course\ntowards the lofty point of Aird in Skye. The drooping spirits of his\ncrew began to revive, and hope began to smile upon them--when lo! to\ntheir great astonishment, a large cat was seen to climb the rigging.\nThis cat was soon followed by another of equal size, and the last by\na successor, until at length the shrouds, masts, and whole tackle,\nwere actually covered with them. Nor did the sight of all those cats,\nalthough he knew well enough their real character, intimidate the\nresolute Razay, until a large black cat, larger than any of the rest,\nappeared on the masthead, as commander-in-chief of the whole legion.\nRazay, on observing him, instantly foresaw the result; he, however,\ndetermined to sell his life as dearly as possible, and immediately\ncommanded an attack upon the cats--but, alas! it soon proved abortive.\nWith a simultaneous effort the cats overturned the vessel on her\nleeward wale, and every soul on board was precipitated into a watery\ngrave. Thus ended the glorious life of _Jan Garbh Macgillichallum_\nof Razay, to the lasting regret of the brave clan Leod and all good\npeople, and to the great satisfaction of the abominable witches who\nthus accomplished his lamentable doom.\n\n\u201cThe same day, another hero, celebrated for his hatred of witchcraft,\nwas warming himself in his hunting hut, in the forest of Gaick in\nBadenoch. His faithful hounds, fatigued with the morning chase, lay\nstretched on the turf by his side,--his gun, that would not miss,\nreclined in the neuk of the boothy,--the _skian dhu_ of the sharp edge\nhung by his side, and these alone constituted his company. As the\nhunter sat listening to the howling storm as it whistled by, there\nentered at the door an apparently poor weather-beaten cat, shivering\nwith cold, and drenched to the skin. On observing her, the hairs of\nthe dogs became erected bristles, and they immediately rose to attack\nthe pitiable cat, which stood trembling at the door. \u2018Great hunter of\nthe hills,\u2019 exclaims the poor-looking trembling cat, \u2018I claim your\nprotection. I know your hatred to my craft, and perhaps it is just.\nStill spare, oh spare a poor jaded wretch, who thus flies to you for\nprotection from the cruelty and oppression of her sisterhood.\u2019 Moved to\ncompassion by her eloquent address, and disdaining to take advantage of\nhis greatest enemy in such a seemingly forlorn situation, he pacified\nhis infuriated dogs, and desired her to come forward to the fire and\nwarm herself. \u2018Nay,\u2019 says she, \u2018in the first place, you will please\nbind with this long hair those two furious hounds of yours, for I am\nafraid they will tear my poor hams to pieces. I pray you, therefore,\nmy dear sir, that you would have the goodness to bind them together by\nthe necks with this long hair.\u2019 But the curious nature of the hair\ninduced the hunter to dissemble a little. Instead of having bound his\ndogs with it, as he pretended, he threw it across a beam of wood which\nconnected the couple of the boothy. The witch then supposing the dogs\nsecurely bound, approached the fire, and squatted herself down as if\nto dry herself. She had not sitten many minutes, when the hunter could\neasily discover a striking increase in her size, which he could not\nforbear remarking in a jocular manner to herself. \u2018A bad death to you,\nyou nasty beast,\u2019 says the hunter; \u2018you are getting very large.\u2019--\u2018Aye,\naye,\u2019 replied the cat, equally jocosely, \u2018as my hairs imbibe the heat,\nthey naturally expand.\u2019 These jokes, however, were but a prelude to a\nmore serious conversation. The cat still continuing her growth, had\nat length attained a most extraordinary size,--when, in the twinkling\nof an eye, she transformed herself into her proper likeness of the\nGoodwife of Laggan, and thus addressed him: \u2018Hunter of the Hills, your\nhour of reckoning is arrived. Behold me before you, the avowed champion\nof my devoted sisterhood, of whom Macgillichallum of Razay and you\nwere always the most relentless enemies. But Razay is no more. His\nlast breath is fled. He lies a lifeless corpse on the bottom of the\nmain; and now, Hunter of the Hills, it is your turn.\u2019 With these words,\nassuming a most hideous and terrific appearance, she made a spring at\nthe hunter. The two dogs, which she supposed securely bound by the\ninfernal hair, sprung at her in her turn, and a most furious conflict\nensued. The witch, thus unexpectedly attacked by the dogs, now began\nto repent of her temerity. \u2018_Fasten, hair, fasten_,\u2019 she perpetually\nexclaimed, supposing the dogs to have been bound by the hair; and so\neffectually did the hair _fasten_, according to her order, that it at\nlast snapt the beam in twain. At length, finding herself completely\noverpowered, she attempted a retreat, but so closely were the hounds\nfastened in her breasts, that it was with no small difficulty she\ncould get herself disengaged from them. Screaming and shrieking, the\nWife of Laggan dragged herself out of the house, trailing after the\ndogs, which were fastened in her so closely, that they never loosed\ntheir hold until she demolished every tooth in their heads. Then\nmetamorphosing herself into the likeness of a raven, she fled over\nthe mountains in the direction of her home. The two faithful dogs,\nbleeding and exhausted, returned to their master, and, in the act of\ncaressing his hand, both fell down and expired at his feet. Regretting\ntheir loss with a sorrow only known to the parent who weeps over the\nremains of departed children, he buried his devoted dogs, and returned\nhome to his family. His wife was not in the house when he arrived, but\nshe soon made her appearance. \u2018Where have you been, my love?\u2019 inquired\nthe husband.--\u2018Indeed,\u2019 replies she, \u2018I have been seeing the Goodwife\nof Laggan, who has been just seized with so severe an illness, that\nshe is not expected to live for any time.\u2019--\u2018Aye! aye!\u2019 says he, \u2018what\nis the matter with the worthy woman?\u2019--\u2018She was all day absent in the\nmoss at her peats,\u2019 replies the wife, \u2018and was seized with a sudden\ncolic, in consequence of getting wet feet, and now all her friends\nand neighbours are expecting her demision.\u2019--\u2018Poor woman,\u2019 says the\nhusband, \u2018I am sorry for her. Get me some dinner, it will be right that\nI should go and see her also.\u2019 Dinner being provided and dispatched,\nthe hunter immediately proceeded to the house of Laggan, where he found\na great assemblage of neighbours mourning, with great sincerity, the\napproaching decease of a woman whom they all had hitherto esteemed\nvirtuous. The hunter, walking up to the sick woman\u2019s bed in a rage,\nproportioned to the greatness of its cause, stripped the sick woman of\nall her coverings. A shriek from the now exposed witch brought all the\ncompany around her. \u2018Behold,\u2019 says he, \u2018the object of your solicitude,\nwho is nothing less than an infernal witch. To-day, she informs me, she\nwas present at the death of the Laird of Razay, and only a few hours\nhave elapsed since she attempted to make me share his fate. This night,\nhowever, she shall expiate her crime, by the forfeiture of her horrid\nlife.\u2019 Relating to the company the whole circumstances of her attack\nupon him, which were too well corroborated by the conclusive marks she\nbore on her person, the whole company were perfectly convinced of her\ncriminality; and the customary punishment was about to be inflicted\non her, when the miserable wretch addressed them as follows: \u2018My\nill-requited friends, spare an old acquaintance, already in the agonies\nof death, from any farther mortal degradation. My crimes and my folly\nnow stare me in the face, in their true colours, while my vile and\nperfidious seducer, the enemy of your temporal and spiritual interests,\nonly laughs at me in my distress; and, as a reward for my fidelity\nto his interest, in seducing every thing that was amiable, and in\ndestroying every thing that was good, he is now about to consign my\nsoul to eternal misery. Let my example be a warning to all the people\nof the earth to shun the fatal rock on which I have split; and as a\nstrong inducement for them to do so, I shall atone for my iniquity to\nthe utmost of my ability, by detailing to you the awful history of my\nlife.\u2019 Here the Wife of Laggan detailed at full length the way she was\nseduced into the service of the evil one,--all the criminal adventures\nin which she had been engaged, and ended with a particular account of\nthe death of Macgillichallum of Razay, and her attack upon the hunter,\nand then expired.\n\n\u201cMeanwhile, a neighbour of the Wife of Laggan was returning home late\nat night from Strathdearn, where he had been upon some business, and\nhad just entered the dreary forest of Monalea in Badenoch, when he met\na woman dressed in black, who ran with great speed, and inquired of\nthe traveller, with great agitation, how far she was distant from the\nchurch-yard of Dalarossie, and if she could be there by twelve o\u2019clock.\nThe traveller told her she might, if she continued to go at the same\npace that she did then. She then fled alongst the road, uttering the\nmost desponding lamentations, and the traveller continued his road to\nBadenoch. He had not, however, walked many miles when he met a large\nblack dog, which travelled past him with much velocity, as if upon the\nscent of a track or footsteps, and soon after he met another large\nblack dog sweeping along in the same manner. The last dog, however, was\nscarcely past, when he met a stout black man on a fine fleet black\ncourser, prancing along in the same direction after the dogs. \u2018Pray,\u2019\nsays the rider to the traveller, \u2018did you meet a woman as you came\nalong the hill?\u2019 The traveller replied in the affirmative. \u2018And did you\nmeet a dog soon after?\u2019 rejoined the rider. The traveller replied he\ndid. \u2018And,\u2019 added the rider, \u2018do you think the dog will overtake her\nere she can reach the church of Dalarossie?\u2019--\u2018He will, at any rate, be\nvery close upon her heels,\u2019 answered the traveller. Each then took his\nown way. But before the traveller had got the length of Glenbanchar,\nthe rider overtook him on his return, with the foresaid woman before\nhim across the bow of his saddle, and one of the dogs fixed in her\nbreast, and another in her thigh. \u2018Where did you overtake the woman?\u2019\ninquired the traveller. \u2018Just as she was entering the church-yard of\nDalarossie,\u2019 was his reply. On the traveller\u2019s return home, he heard\nof the fate of the unfortunate Wife of Laggan, which soon explained\nthe nature of the company he had met on the road. It was, no doubt,\nthe spirit of the Wife of Laggan flying for protection from the\ninfernal spirits, (to whom she had sold herself,) to the church-yard\nof Dalarossie, which is so sacred a place, that a witch is immediately\ndissolved from all her ties with Satan, on making a pilgrimage to it,\neither dead or alive. But it seems the unhappy Wife of Laggan was a\nstage too late.\u201d\n\nThere is another power given to them, which is a most mischievous one,\nand proves the fruitful source of almost all the crimes and miseries\nwhich deluge the land,--that of sowing the seeds of discord amongst\nmankind in public and private life. We will say nothing of the degree\nof secret influence which these worthies probably enjoy in overruling\nthe councils of our nation, and thwarting the judgment of our\nministers, so as to answer their private purposes, as it would be out\nof our strict line of delineation. But we speak from the best authority\nwhen we say, that they are the common and secret instigators of those\ndeplorable quarrels and divisions which sometimes happen between\nthose who ought to be one flesh. Whenever we see a broken-hearted\nwife mourning over the misconduct of her husband, who, once tenderly\naffectionate and attentive to the discharge of his domestic duties,\nis now changed into the domestic tyrant and whisky-bibber, we need\nnever hesitate for a moment to pronounce the cause to be witchcraft.\nAnd the same rule holds good in regard to the misconduct of the wife,\n_vice versa_. Behold, again, the man of sin, clothed in the garment of\ndisgrace, that sits \u201c_girnan on the creepy._\u201d Ask him what blind-fold\ninfatuation could have induced him to have defiled his neighbour\u2019s bed,\nand he will tell you, with a groan, it was \u201c_Buchuchd_.\u201d[F]\n\nNor are their operations confined to the injury of a person\u2019s spiritual\ninterest alone--they even descend to the lowest incidents in a man\u2019s\ncalling. If the reader should see a termagant of a wife raise over\nthe _caput_ of her poor cuckold of a husband the tongs or spurtle,\ndemanding of him, with vehement eloquence, the cause of purchasing a\nhorse or a cow at double its value, his answer to her will certainly\nbe--\u201cMe ve ar mu Buchuchd.\u201d\n\nThus the ruination of our spiritual interest is not enough to satisfy\ntheir inveterate malignity,--they must likewise injure our temporal\ninterests, which, however incomparable to the former in point of\nintrinsic importance, yet cause the sufferer fully as much grief.\nIndeed, so dearly do the most of the people of this world love their\ntemporal means and estate, that we feel fully persuaded, that did\nthose agents confine their operations to the injury of our spiritual\ninterests alone, which, as Satan\u2019s instruments, we should naturally\nsuppose to be their proper line of business, the clamour against their\nruinous and abominable practices would be much less violent than it\nis. This much, however, of the Highlander\u2019s liberal disposition the\nsly sounding witch is intimately acquainted with, and for this very\nreason she redoubles her diligence to cause him all the loss in her\npower, as the most effectual way of completing his misery. Hence it\noftens happens, that should a horse, an ox, or a cow, of unequalled\nsymmetry and beauty, be so unlucky as to attract the favour of its\naffectionate owner;--by whatever means the sagacious witch discovers\nthe secret we know not, but certain annihilation, accomplished by some\nmeans or other, will be the poor animal\u2019s lot. Such a calamity as this\nis sufficiently mortifying, but it is a small one when compared to\nthe loss of a person\u2019s whole stock, which too frequently follows the\nloss of one. Having once inserted the infernal pillow into some snug\ncorner, its influence will give the finishing stroke to all the cattle\nand creeping things on a farm. This pillow, not to give it a worse\nname, is a little four-cornered _bag_, packed with divers exterminating\ndiseases, in the familiar likeness of hair, grease, parings of nails,\nshoe tackets, salt, powder, and other infernal knick-knacks, too\ntedious to be described, which, when thrown into the fire, makes a\nnoise the like of which has seldom been heard.\n\nNo sooner is this bag deposited in a cleft in the stable or byre than\nit commences its destructive career, producing the death of the bestial\nin whole lots, until the last hen on the roost will fall a sacrifice to\nits deadly influence. Nor is this all; they will attach some infernal\ncantrips to the farming-utensils that no good crop will follow their\noperations, and what may escape the influence of the _baggie_ is\ncommonly destroyed by frost, rain, lightning, and other calamities,\nwhich the craft can produce at their pleasure, so that it is unfit for\nthe use of man or beast. In short, of all the ills incident to the\nlife of man, none are so formidable as witchcraft, before the combined\ninfluence of which, to use the language of an honest man who had\nhimself severely suffered from its effects, \u201cthe great Laird of Grant\nhimself could not stand them if they should fairly yoke upon him.\u201d\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER V.\n\nOF THE WITCH\u2019S POWERS OF TRANSFORMATION.\n\n\nThose of our readers who are not very well acquainted with the theory\nof witchcraft will not be a little surprised, at the unaccountable\nactivity of its agents, who are capable of paying not only proper\nattention to their own private affairs, but likewise of carrying on\nalmost all the business of the Evil One in this land. In order to\nobviate all surprise on this head, be it remembered, that they are\nendowed with as ample powers of transmigration (at their institution\ninto the craft) as any other of Satan\u2019s spiritual agents; consequently\nthere is no similitude from their own proper likenesses to that of a\ncat or a stone, but they can assume at pleasure. Hence the speed and\nprivacy with which they attain their evil ends.\n\nOne of the most ordinary disguises of a \u201c_Ban-Buchichd_\u201d[G] is the\nsimilitude of a hare. This transformation she finds exceedingly\nconvenient while performing her cantrips in the field--bewitching\nfarming implements--destroying corn and grass--holding communion with\nthe sisterhood, and similar pieces of business. It enables her to\nexecute her undertakings with greater expedition, and flee more fleetly\non any emergency, than she could do in any other character.\n\nA second is the likeness of a cat--by personating which, she procures\nadmission to the inmost recesses of a house, to deposit her infernal\nmachinery, without exciting the least suspicions of her real character\nand intentions.\n\nA third is her transformation into a stone, which is a common practice\nwith the witch in the season of agricultural operations, by which she\nis afforded great opportunities of mischief to the farmer\u2019s interest.\nThe wily witch will penetrate into the ground, and place herself in\nthe line of the plough, and as it passes her she will creep in betwixt\nthe sock and the culter. The plough is consequently expelled from the\nground for a considerable space, and a \u201c_bauk_\u201d is the consequence.\nFor these insidious and barefaced acts of iniquity, the witch, if\ndiscovered, seldom escapes with impunity. Stopping the cattle, the\nploughman will take hold of the stone, bestowing upon it the most\nabusive and opprobrious epithets, and dashes her with all his might\nagainst the hardest substance he can find, as a mark of his hatred and\ncontempt for her character.\n\nA fourth is her transformation into the shape of a raven; which now\nin a great measure supersedes the use of her ancient and renowned\nhobby-horse the broom, on which she formerly walloped with such\nsurprising velocity. This similitude is commonly assumed by her when on\nexcursions to any distance, to attend the counsels of Satan--to hold\ncommunion with the sisterhood--or to attend some important enterprise.\n\nThe witch likewise assumes the character of a _magpie_ on occasions\nof sudden emergency which require immediate conference with a number\nof the members of the craft. The likeness of this bird, which is\nof a domestic character, and fond of hopping and picking about the\ndoors, screens the witch from suspicion, as she visits another witch\u2019s\ndwelling. Hence, when a number of magpies convene together side by\nside on a house-top, it is no wonder that their appearance should\noccasionally excite suspicion. But we humbly think that mere suspicion\nby no means justifies that hostility of temper which in several\ndistricts the inhabitants are led to entertain against the whole\nrace of magpies, merely because the witches sometimes assume their\nsimilitude. These suspicions are no doubt a good deal heightened by the\ncircumstance of the poor magpie\u2019s being a little endowed with the gift\nof prophecy. As a foreteller of minor events--such as the coming of\nvisitors, the change of weather, and such-like little occurrences--the\nmagpie has never been excelled; and notwithstanding the illiberal\nconduct of its human neighbours, those little qualities are always\nexerted by the magpie for their comfort and convenience.\n\nOn the morning of that auspicious day on which the factor, the\nparson, or any other of the country gentry of equal importance, is\nto pay a visit to the lord of the manor on which the magpie may have\npitched her residence, she will approach the house, and, by her\nincessant chattering, announce to the inhabitants the coming of the\nconsequential stranger. The state apartment, perhaps rather deranged,\nis consequently arrayed in proper order; and the necessary provisions\nto entertain the expected guests are timeously procured, which, but for\nthe magpie\u2019s generous and ill-rewarded premonition, could not perhaps\nbe provided for the occasion.\n\n\n\n\nCHAPTER VI.\n\nSAFEGUARDS FROM WITCHCRAFT.\n\n\nAs witchcraft is in itself by far the greatest calamity the Highlander\nis subject to, so Providence, in its wise economy, has afforded him the\namplest means of guarding against its effects. And if a radical remedy\nhas not yet been discovered for the evil in all its bearings, it is\nonly because mankind have not been equally solicitous for the discovery\nof it. Adverse to a murmuring discontented spirit, the Highlander\nis satisfied with the removal of a share of his grievances. Having\nobtained a knowledge of a certain remedy for those practices of the\ncraft which weigh most heavily on his temporal interests, he is not so\npresumptuous as to suppose that Providence is so partial in its favours\nas to grant him a remedy for those that affect his immortal interests\nalso. Satisfied with the benefits he enjoys, he is not clamorous for an\nextension of them, leaving the concerns of another world for a season\nof more convenience and leisure.\n\nAs a sovereign protection for goods and chattels of every description\nfrom the machinations of those despicable agents, the rowan cross,\nof invaluable excellence, has never been known to prove ineffectual.\nIts salutary influence on every species of supernatural agents is\nwell known, and there are none to whom the smell of the rowan is more\nobnoxious than the \u201cBan Buchuchd.\u201d As a proof of its efficacy, we can\nproduce no better authority than the following affecting story:--\n\n\u201cThere is, in the vicinity of Forres, an old decayed edifice,\ncalled \u2018_Castle Boorgie_,\u2019 in which once lived a rich laird, who\nhad a beautiful daughter. Seemingly possessed of every engaging\naccomplishment, and apparently endowed with the most amiable\ndisposition, she was the darling of her aged father, whose hopes and\njoys were wholly centered in her. One spring morning, as her father\nand herself were surveying the delightful prospects which the castle\ncommanded, the immense number of ploughs at work within the compass\nof their vision happened to attract their attention. \u2018Father,\u2019 says\nthis ill-fated, unconscious child, \u2018do we not behold a vast number of\nploughs in the widely-extended district now in our view?\u2019--\u2018Yes, my\nlove, we do,\u2019 replied the father, \u2018and it is a pleasant thing to look\nat them.\u2019--\u2018What reward will you give me,\u2019 added she, \u2018if, by a single\nword, I shall cause them all stand as immoveable as if the cattle were\ntransformed into stones?\u2019--\u2018On that condition,\u2019 replied the astonished\nfather, \u2018the most superb and costly gown in the town of Forres shall\nbe yours.\u2019--\u2018It is done,\u2019 says the daughter. Raising her hand, she\nmuttered an unintelligible sound, and, lo! all the ploughs in the\ndistrict, with the exception of a single one, stood stock still and\nimmoveable.--\u2018Indeed!\u2019 exclaims the father, \u2018you are a rare conjuror,\nmy dear; but how is that plough in the adjacent park exempted from\nthe magical effect of your powerful charm?\u2019--\u2018The cause I can easily\nguess,\u2019 says she; \u2018there is, in one of the oxen\u2019s bows, a pin of the\nrowan tree, the virtue of which defeats all attempts at preternatural\nfascination.\u2019--\u2018Aye, aye,\u2019 says he, \u2018all those things are wonderfully\npretty; pray who taught them to you?\u2019--\u2018My old nurse taught me those\nfine things, and am not I greatly obliged to her, sir?\u2019--\u2018You are,\nundoubtedly,\u2019 he replies, \u2018and she shall soon have her reward. Oh! my\ndear, my only child--support and comfort of my aged head--would to God\nyou had never been born!\u2019\n\n\u201cSummoning immediately a council of his friends, the broken-hearted\nparent revealed to them the whole circumstance, and craved\ntheir opinion as to the measures that should be adopted in this\ndeeply-to-be-deplored case. After due consultation, the council gave it\nas their decided opinion, that, concluding that she was irrecoverably\nlost to all good in this world, the extension of her life would be only\nproductive of eternal disgrace and infamy to her friends, while her\nspiritual interests would every day be destroyed by accumulating guilt.\nTherefore, that her life should be instantly terminated by a private\ndeath; and that the old hag, the author of her ruin, should be publicly\nburned under every ignominious circumstance. To this hard decision the\nagonised father was persuaded to assent; and a doctor was immediately\ndispatched for to Forres, to point out the easiest mode of taking her\nlife. Bleeding the temporal arteries was the mode of death agreed on,\nand the poor innocent victim of the old hag\u2019s depravity was introduced\ninto a private apartment, in order to undergo the awful operation. On\nentering the apartment, her unhappy father burst out into a flood of\ntears. Observing his distress, his affectionate little daughter also\nfell a crying. \u2018What is the matter with you, my dear father?\u2019 says she.\n\u2018Have you received any bad news? Oh! tell me what is the matter with\nyou, that I may share your sorrows and dry your tears.\u2019 Fearing that\nthe father\u2019s courage might naturally fail him under so signal a trial,\nthe friends present instantly seized the astonished dear girl, bound\nher hand and foot, and placed her in a vat, and the surgeon inflicted\non her two brows, fair and beautiful as those of an angel, the fatal\nwounds. As the blood flowed, the poor affrighted victim perpetually\nexclaimed, \u2018Do not kill me, do not kill me; what have I done to offend\nmy dearest father? I am sure I did no harm. For the sake of my dear\nmother, who is no more, and for whose sake you loved me so well, do not\nlet them kill me, my dear father.\u2019 The unhappy father sunk senseless on\nthe floor, and his expiring child soon closed her eyes on this world,\nsighing, with her last breath, \u2018My dearest father, do not kill me.\u2019\n\n\u201cThe old hag was then brought out to the lawn in front of the castle,\nand thrown into a huge furnace of tar and other combustibles, amidst\nthe general execration of the assembled multitude. And it is said, that\nwhile the witch was burning, every crack she gave was as loud as the\nreport of a war cannon.\u201d\n\nWhen, by the neglect of the prescribed safeguards, the seeds of\niniquity have taken root, and a person\u2019s means are decaying in\nconsequence, the only alternative, in this case, is to resort to that\ngrand remedy, the \u201c_Tein Econuch_,\u201d or \u201c_Forlorn Fire_,\u201d which seldom\nfails of being productive of the best effects. The cure for witchcraft,\ncalled \u201c_Tein Econuch_,\u201d is wrought in the following manner:--\n\nA consultation being held by the unhappy sufferer and his friends as\nto the most advisable measures of effecting a cure, if this process is\nadopted, notice is privately communicated to all those householders\nwho reside within the nearest two running streams, to extinguish their\nlights and fires on some appointed morning. On its being ascertained\nthat this notice has been duly observed, a spinning-wheel, or some\nother convenient instrument, calculated to produce fire by friction,\nis set to work with the most furious earnestness by the unfortunate\nsufferer and all who wish well to his cause. Relieving each other\nby turns, they drive on with such persevering diligence, that at\nlength the spindle of the wheel, ignited by excessive friction, emits\n\u201c_Forlorn Fire_\u201d in abundance, which, by the application of tow, or\nsome other combustible material, is widely extended over the whole\nneighbourhood. Communicating the fire to the tow, the tow communicates\nit to a candle, the candle to a fir-torch, the torch to a cartful of\npeats, which the master of the ceremonies, with pious ejaculations for\nthe success of the experiment, distributes to messengers, who will\nproceed with portions of it to the different houses within the said two\nrunning streams, to kindle the different fires. By the influence of\nthis operation, the machinations and spells of witchcraft \u201care rendered\nnull and void,\u201d and, in the language of Scots\u2019 law, \u201cof no avail,\nforce, strength, or effect, with all that has followed, or may follow\nthereupon.\u201d\n\nBut should the evil prove so obstinate and deep-rooted as to triumph\nover this most commonly efficacious remedy, the dernier resort is an\napplication to that arch-enemy of Satan, Mr. Grigor Willox Macgrigor,\nEmperor of all the Conjurors.\n\nThe name of this gentleman is well known to the inhabitants of the\nnorthern counties of Scotland, as the happy proprietor of that\ninvaluable and wonderful relic, which the vulgar are sometimes\npleased to denominate \u201cClach Ghrigair Willock,\u201d alias \u201c_Clach Ban na\nBuchuchd_,\u201d but which, in our opinion, deserves a far more dignified,\nif not a more appropriate appellation. We humbly submit it should be\ncalled the _Philosopher\u2019s Stone_, not so much out of compliment to its\nlearned and elegant proprietor--although, by the bye, he is wonderfully\n_philosophic_--as out of pure justice to the stone itself; for it\ncertainly is the best substitute for the grand object of the chemist\u2019s\nresearch that has hitherto been discovered. If the philosopher\u2019s stone\nwill convert metal into gold, the \u201cwarlock\u2019s stone\u201d will convert water\ninto silver by a process perhaps more round-about, but equally certain.\n\nThe history of such a precious curiosity as this would, no doubt, prove\nhighly interesting to the \u201ccurious reader;\u201d and the writer has to blame\nthe shortness of his memory for not gratifying him to the utmost of his\nwish, Mr. Willox having more than once personally favoured him with a\nvery eloquent account of it. Suffice it to say, that this stone was\noriginally extorted by a very ancient ancestor of Mr. Willox from an\namorous slut of a mermaid, who, unfortunately for her, happened to take\na fancy to him, and no wonder, too, if he possessed in any degree the\npersonal attractions of his lineal posterity. It happened, then, that\nthis silly fool of a mermaid once thought it proper to throw herself\nin this gentleman\u2019s way, expecting, no doubt, very different treatment\nfrom that which she experienced,--when her unnatural sweetheart,\ninstead of offering her any endearments, most ungraciously chained her\nto a post, until she redeemed her liberty by this precious ransom.\nThis was, no doubt, long, long ago, nobody knows how long, and the\n_stone_ has necessarily seen many revolutions of times and masters in\nthe course of its day. It graced for a long time the warlike standard\nof the brave clan Gregor, combining, as the upholsterer says, \u201cgreat\nornament with much utility;\u201d for, while it served to set off not a\nlittle those splendid banners, it invariably secured their followers\nvictory over their contending foes. It afterwards returned to the\nWillox family, with whom it has continued to the present day. It could\nnot descend to a race of gentlemen who could do greater justice to its\nexcellent qualities, and certainly the fault cannot be traced to the\npresent proprietor, if, during his liferent use of it, the stone has\nlost an iota of its former celebrity.\n\nWhatever might have been the ornamental qualities of this wonderful\n_stone_ in the days of yore, it has now no great ornaments to boast of.\nIt is a plain-looking article, strongly resembling the knob or bottom\nof a crystal bottle; and were it not that Mr. Willox solemnly assured\nus of his having been told by the great Lord Henderland himself, it\nmust have at one time composed one of the Pleiades, we should have had\nmuch difficulty in believing it to consist of any other substance; but\nwho could resist such respectable authority?[H] Although Mr. Willox\ninformed us that a single collision with the ground would instantly\ndivest it of all its wonderful virtues, the stone certainly bears _ex\nfacie_ marks of rough usage, and even such inauspicious accidents as\ncoming into contact with the ground, or perhaps harder materials, in\nits time. However, the _stone_ itself will tell no secrets, and on the\nsubject of accidents of this sort it is the proprietor\u2019s interest to be\nequally mute.\n\nBut whatever may be the nature and qualities of this stone, its virtues\nare sufficiently notorious. A single immersion of it into a hogshead\nof water instantaneously communicates to it such inconceivable virtue,\nthat one drop of it is sufficient to cure the most desperate case of\nwitchcraft in the land. Nor do the prevention and cure of witchcraft\nalone constitute the stone\u2019s sole line of business;--for a valuable\nreward, there is no secret or calamity natural to man or beast in all\nthis wide world, but it will reveal or prevent.--_Exemple gratia_:\nshould some miserable vagabond of a thief, residing within the pale of\nMr. Willox\u2019s celebrity, be so fool-hardy as to lay his dishonest hands\nupon the goods or chattels of a neighbour, recovery of the goods, or at\nleast an exposure of the thief, is the absolute consequence. The loser\nof the goods looks about him for his purse, and immediately proceeds to\nconsult the GRAND ORACLE, Mr. Grigor Willox, as to the person who had\nthe effrontery to steal his goods. Mr. Willox, willing to afford every\ninformation on reasonable terms, instantly produces the black stocking\ncontaining the stone, a single dip of which clearly developes the whole\ncircumstance. After a long consultation, involving some inquiries as\nto suspected characters, the lynx-eyed Mr. Willox easily recognises\nsome figures reflected on the vessel containing the water by the stone,\nconveying an exact representation of some old hag not very reputable\nfor her habits, residing in the complainant\u2019s neighbourhood; and thus\nall doubt is removed as to his suspicions being too well founded.\n\nIt is no subject for wonder, then, that this Great Oracle should be\nso highly prized and suitably encouraged. With commendable regard\nto the good of his beloved countrymen, Mr. Willox is in the habit\nof _occasionally_ making a tour of pleasure through the counties of\nInverness, Ross, and Caithness, whence, after some weeks\u2019 absence, he\nreturns home, with the double satisfaction of thinking, that while he\nhas, in the course of his rambles, conferred the greatest benefit on\nsuffering humanity, he has, at the same time, a good deal improved\nhis own pecuniary resources. Those occasional peregrinations of this\ngentleman are now become absolutely necessary. Funds are not only very\nlow in these bad times, but Mr. Willox is convinced more and more,\nevery day he rises, of the truth of that proverb, \u201cA prophet has no\nhonour in his own country;\u201d and he therefore finds it no less his\ninterest than his duty to take a trip, as occasion suggests, to see his\nfriends in the _Duigh Tua_.[I] For the most part, however, he resides\nat his seat of Gaulrig in Strathavon (usually called Strathdown),\nwhere, like the late Doctor Samuel Solomon, inventor and proprietor of\nthat renovating cordial the Balm of Gilead, he may be consulted, either\npersonally or by letter post paid, on payment of the usual compliment\nof a pound note. Accordingly, there are pilgrimages made to Gaulrig\nas well as to Gilead House. It is no rare matter for the inhabitants\nof both sides of the Avon to fall in with unfortunate pilgrims, whose\nlongitude of face and decrepitude of limbs indicate the extent of their\nmisfortunes and the length of their journey, inquiring the way for\n_Taigh Maishter Willack_.\n\n\n\n\nPART VII.\n\nHighland Festive Amusements.\n\n  Yes, let the rich deride, the proud disdain,\n  The simple pleasures of the lowly train;\n  To me more dear, congenial to my heart,\n  One native charm, than all the gloss of art.\n\n                                         GOLDSMITH.\n\n\n\n\nHALLOWE\u2019EN.\n\n  Ye powers of darkness and of hell,\n  Propitious to the magic spell,\n  Who rule in silence o\u2019er the night,\n  Be present now.\n\n                                     FRANCES.\n\n\nOf the whole series of annual festivals, Hallowe\u2019en forms the most\nimportant occasion in the Highlands of Scotland. The fascinating round\nof varied enjoyments the night presents to the young and juvenile--the\ndelightful peeps into futurity it affords to the enchanted lover--and\nthe fond recollections it revives in old age--all conspire to render\nits approach more interesting, and its celebration more joyful,\nthan any other occasion within the compass of the year. Nor is the\nhappy influence diffused by Hallowe\u2019en confined to the human class\nof the inhabitants of the Highlands alone; most of the _supernatural\ninhabitants_ are in some degree partakers in the general happiness.\nWith the fairy community, in particular, it is an occasion of peculiar\ngrandeur, as the great anniversary on which they are reviewed by _Auld\nNick_, their nominal chief potentate, in person; whilst many others of\nthe classes treated of in the foregoing pages regard it as a night of\nno ordinary pomp and joviality.\n\nOn this occasion of universal hilarity, the natural coldness and\njealousy which generally subsist between the human species and\ntheir supernatural neighbours are changed into perfect harmony and\nbenevolence. Like two belligerent armies, whose hostility towards each\nother is more the offspring of public duty than private resentment, and\nwho, therefore, during the intervals of war, exhibit in their mutual\nintercourse the marks of personal good will; so, in like manner, those\ntwo classes forget for the night all animosity, in their more laudable\nzeal to contribute to each other\u2019s gratification. Nay, stern Satan\nhimself relaxes for this night his avarice; and, alive to no other\nobject than the promotion of universal enjoyments, dispatches showers\nof his emissaries to the several kiln-pots, peat-stacks, and barn-yards\nin the Highlands, to afford to those adventurers who desire it a peep\ninto the secrets of futurity.\n\nSuch a display of seeming benevolence, did it proceed from any other\nindividual than Satan, could not fail to meet with some share of\napplause. But heads of families, whose opinions are entitled to some\nrespect, have been known to affirm, that Satan\u2019s affected generosity\non this occasion is nothing but a mere stratagem for inveigling the\nmore effectually the young and unwary into his vile snares, and that\nhe gets more game by those specious artifices than he could realize by\nany other means. Hence it is that the anxious parent this night,\ninstead of extolling Satan\u2019s generosity, is so intent on magnifying\nhis perfidy; and in order the better to dissuade his offspring and\nfamily from the dangerous practices of the night, details, without\nqualification, his numerous treacheries on similar occasions.\n\nBut these ebullitions of the parent\u2019s jealousy of Satan\u2019s practices\nare soon subdued. The big-bellied bottle and bumper-glass will have\na great effect in relaxing his heart of its illiberal suspicions.\nSpeedily animated by the conciliating qualities of the \u201c_barley-bree_,\u201d\nand softened by the recollection of his own youthful frolics and manly\ndeeds on similar occasions, he no longer regards as a crime those\npractices which he recently condemned; and the good-natured matron,\nbeing happy at her husband\u2019s felicity, and averse to chide, they both\ntacitly connive at the family\u2019s indulgence in the customary arts of\ndivination.\n\nGenerally the first spell they try is pulling the stock of kail.\nJoining hand in hand they go forth to the kail-yard, previously\nblind-folded, lads, lasses, and children, equally anxious to have their\nfortunes told as their seniors. Pulling the first stock they meet with,\nthey immediately return to the light to have an examination of its\nqualities; its being large or little, straight or crooked, is prophetic\nof the size and shape of its puller\u2019s conjugal companion. If any earth\nadheres to the root, it indicates tocher or fortune; and the taste of\nthe custoc or stem, whether sour or sweet, shows the nature of his\ndisposition.\n\nThey go next to the barn-yard, and pull each a stalk of oats, and\naccording to the number of grains upon the stalk the puller will have\na corresponding number of children. It may be observed, that it is\nessential to a female\u2019s good fame that her stalk should have the\ntop-grain attached to it.\n\nAn individual goes to the barn, opens both its doors, then takes the\ninstrument used in winnowing corn, called a _wecht_, and goes through\nall the gestures of letting down corn against the wind. This is\nrepeated three several times, and the third time an apparition will\npass through the barn, in at the one door and out at the other, having\na retinue emblematical of his or her station in life.\n\nA person goes privately to _Tor-na-ha_, or the kiln-pot, throws into it\na clew of blue thread, which the person winds into a new clew. Towards\nthe latter end something will hold the thread, on which the person\ndemands, \u201cWho holds?\u201d An answer will be returned by the agent below, by\nnaming the Christian name and sirname of the person\u2019s future spouse.\n\nA person steals out unperceived to the peat-stack--sows a handful of\nhemp-seed, calling out something to the following effect:--\n\n  \u201cHemp-seed, I saw thee,\n  Hemp-seed, I saw thee,\n  And he who is my true love,\n  Come after me and pu\u2019 thee.\u201d\n\nAnd, on looking over his shoulder, he sees the apparition of the person\ninvoked in the attitude of pulling the hemp, which had immediately\ngrown at the magic command. Or, if hemp-seed is not at hand, let\nthe person take the floor-besom, which he will ride in the manner\nof a witch three times round the peat-stack, and the last time the\napparition will appear to him.\n\nThey go one or more to what is called a _dead and living ford_, or, in\nother words, a ford which has been crossed by a funeral, and observing\nprofound silence, dip the sleeve of their shirt in it. On returning\nhome they go to bed in sight of a fire, and, lying awake in bed, they\nwill observe an apparition, being an exact similitude of the grand\nobject in question, turn the shirt-sleeve, as if to dry the other side.\n\nAn individual goes to a public road, which branches in three several\ndirections, (_i. e._ the junction of three roads,) bearing with him\nthe cutty or three-legged stool, on which the person seats himself\njust on the eve of twelve o\u2019clock; and, as the hour strikes, he hears\nproclaimed the names of the several persons who shall die in the parish\nbefore the next anniversary. _Nota._--If the person carries along with\nhim articles of wearing-apparel, and throws an article away on the\nproclamation of each person\u2019s name, it will rescue the person from\nhis impending fate; and it will be wise to retain one article to the\nlast, in case his own name may be called, when he has not the means of\nredemption at hand.\n\nThese and some other out-of-door spells having been tried, the parties\nreturn to the dwelling-house to burn the nuts. Burning the nuts is a\nvery popular charm. They name a lad and a lass to each particular nut,\nas they lay them in the fire, and, accordingly, as they burn quietly,\nor start from beside one another, so the issue of the courtship will be.\n\nA person takes a candle and goes unattended to a looking-glass--eats an\napple before it, combing his or her hair all the while, occasionally\nholding over the shoulder a table-fork with a piece of the apple upon\nit, and ultimately the adventurer\u2019s conjugal partner will be seen in\nthe glass, in the attitude of taking the proffered piece of apple.\n\nThese and some other spells of less note, such as dipping for the\napple, groping for the clean dish, which are generally known, and,\ntherefore, need not be particularly described, joined to each\nindividual\u2019s relation of the sights which he saw on the present\nand former occasions, together with the reflections they draw from\n\u201cnarrative old age,\u201d bring the well-buttered sowans, or more favoured\n_Banbrishd_[J] upon the table. The _sonsie_ kebbock is roasted at the\nfire, and fangs cut down from end to end. Brandered bannocks, and\nevery other luxury that can be procured, load the hospitable board.\nThe welcome guests surround it; the silver head is bared with solemn\nreverence, and the temperate feast, qualified with a few rounds of\nthe _Boghtle dhu_, is as much relished as if it consisted of the most\ndelicious luxuries that crown a monarch\u2019s board. But the hours are too\nhappy to remain long;--they flee like a shadow, and call the guests to\ntheir respective homes. Each swain and damsel now repose themselves\non their pillows, full of those tender emotions which the night\u2019s\namusements excited, and in their midnight slumbers see those objects\nwhose image they so ardently wished to see in all their comeliness and\nbeauty.\n\n\n\n\nCHRISTMAS.\n\n  The children of years to come shall hear the fame of Carthon, when\n  they sit round the burning oak, and the night is spent in songs of\n  old.\n\n                                                             OSSIAN.\n\n\nChristmas Eve is chiefly spent in preparation for the succeeding\ndays. The housewife is busily engaged in the provision and cooking of\ndainties. The flailman still chaps in the barn, desirous of providing\nthe necessary store of fodder for the Christmas. The herd-boy\u2019s axe\nresounds on the fir-stock, determined to prepare plenty of light, and\nthe gudeman, and others, are abroad on a not less important errand.\n\nThis errand, on which we suppose the gudeman and his assistants\nemployed, is the procuring of _Calluch Nollic_, or _Christmas Old\nWife_, an indispensable requisite for this occasion; and it will\nperhaps puzzle some of our readers to guess the purpose for which\nthe good woman is wanted. If they suppose it is to contribute to the\nhilarity of the time, or to assist in the festive preparations, the\nidea is not very erroneous--the old woman does so in a very effectual\nmanner. But the return she meets with, however warm, will not be\nadmired by the reader, when he is told that it consists in being\nstowed into a cartful of burning peats, with as little ceremony\nand feeling as an old broom. This usage, so inconsistent with the\nHighlander\u2019s characteristic humanity, she does not, however, regard as\na great punishment, for her feelings are as fire-proof as those of a\nSalamander. Indeed, it is no rare sight, though strange it must be, to\nsee an honest woman, who has undergone the unpleasant process of being\nChristmas fire to a circle of unfeeling fellows, perhaps oftener than\nonce, heartily spinning at her wheel, and gratifying those, it may be,\nwho had a hand in the unfriendly act, with her marvellous tales. But to\navoid a certain imputation which some may be inclined to fix on us, it\nwill be proper to explain our meaning.\n\nThe reader will please understand, that this good woman only undergoes\nthis process by representation. Among those valuable discoveries which\ndistinguish former ages, that which gave rise to this custom deserves\nnotice. Some wise-acre, by some lucky chance, discovered, that at this\nfestive season, when the asperity of his character is probably much\nsoftened, even relentless death himself can be compromised with on very\nadvantageous terms. By the sacrifice of an old woman, or any other body\nwhom he wished in a better world, and whom, by the following process,\nhe chose to send to it, death was debarred from any farther claim to\nhimself, or his friends, until the return of the next anniversary. He\nwent to the wood this night, fetched home the stump of some withered\ntree, which he regularly constituted the representative of some person\nof the description we have mentioned, and whose doom was inevitably\nfixed by the process, without resort or appeal. Such a simple mode\nof obtaining security from a foe whom every body fears, could not be\nsupposed to fall into desuetude; and the custom is therefore retained,\nwhatever faith may exist as to its utility, in some parts of the\ncountry, even to this day.\n\nBut to return to the busy fireside whence we set out, we shall suppose\nthe goodman and the \u201c_carling_\u201d arrived, and the other members of the\nfamily now relieved from their eager toil, with the old wife in the\ncentre. The question now is, how the remainder of the night is to be\ndisposed of? The nature of it requires that it should be spent with\ngaiety; and a game at cards, the clod,[K] or the bag, is generally\nfixed upon. At the ordinary hour, however, all retire to rest with\nminds bent on the morrow\u2019s gratifications, and the house is soon\nchanged from that scene of bustle and confusion it recently exhibited,\nto that of peaceful tranquillity, where nothing is heard but the\nslumbering of the inmates, and the growling bark of the faithful\n_collie_ on the midden-head.\n\nAt length the brightening glow of the eastern sky warns the anxious\nhousemaid of the approach of\n\n  CHRISTMAS DAY.\n\nShe rises full of anxiety at the prospect of her morning labours. The\nmeal, which was steeped in the _sowans-bowie_ a fortnight ago, to make\nthe _Prechdachdan sour_, or _sour scones_, is the first object of her\nattention. The gridiron is put on the fire, and the sour scones are\nsoon followed by hard cakes, soft cakes, buttered cakes, brandered\nbannocks, and pannich perm. The baking being once over, the sowans pot\nsucceeds the gridiron, full of new sowans, which are to be given to the\nfamily, agreeably to custom, this day in their beds. The sowans are\nboiled into the consistence of molasses, when the _Lagan-le-vrich_,[L]\nto distinguish it from boiled sowans, is ready. It is then poured\ninto as many bickers as there are individuals to partake of it, and\npresently served to the whole, old and young. It would suit well the\npen of a Burns, or the pencil of a Cruikshank, to paint the scene which\nfollows. The ambrosial food is soon dispatched in aspiring draughts\nby the family, who soon give evident proofs of the enlivening effects\nof the _Lagan-le-vrich_. As soon as each dispatches his bicker, he\njumps out of bed--the elder branches to examine the ominous signs of\nthe day,[M] and the younger to enter on its amusements. Flocking to\nthe swing, a favourite amusement on this occasion, the youngest of\nthe family gets the first \u201c_shouden_,\u201d and the next oldest to him,\nin regular succession. In order to add the more to the spirit of the\nexercise, it is a common practice with the person in the _swing_,\nand the person appointed to swing him, to enter into a very warm and\nhumorous altercation. As the swinged person approaches the swinger, he\nexclaims, _Ei mi tu chal_, \u201cI\u2019ll eat your kail.\u201d To this the swinger\nreplies, with a violent shove, _Cha ni u mu chal_, \u201cYou shan\u2019t eat\nmy kail.\u201d These threats and repulses are sometimes carried to such a\nheight as to break down or capsize the threatener, which generally puts\nan end to the quarrel.\n\nAs the day advances, those minor amusements are terminated at the\nreport of the gun, or the rattle of the ball-clubs--the gun inviting\nthe marksman to the \u201c_Kiavanuchd_,\u201d or prize-shooting, and the latter\nto \u201c_Luchd-vouil_,\u201d or the ball-combatants--both the principal sports\nof the day. A description of either of these sports is unnecessary, as\nnothing new distinguishes them from similar amusements in other places;\nunless it be a consummate precision in the marksman, and a vigorous\nintrepidity in the ball-combatants, that cannot perhaps be equalled by\nthe peasantry of any other country.\n\nTired at length of the active amusements of the field, they exchange\nthem for the substantial entertainments of the table. Groaning under\nthe \u201c_sonsy haggis_,\u201d and many other savoury dainties, unseen perhaps\nfor twelve months before, the relish communicated to the company, by\nthe appearance of the festive board, is more easily conceived than\ndescribed. The dinner once dispatched, the flowing bowl succeeds, and\nthe sparkling glass flies to and fro like a weaver\u2019s shuttle. As it\ncontinues its rounds, the spirits of the company become the more jovial\nand happy. Animated by its cheering influence, even old decrepitude\nno longer feels his habitual pains--the fire of youth is in his eye,\nas he details to the company the exploits which distinguished him in\nthe days of \u201c_auld langsyne_;\u201d while the young, with hearts inflamed\nwith \u201c_love and glory_,\u201d long to mingle in the more lively scenes of\nmirth, to display their prowess and agility. Leaving the patriarchs to\nfinish those professions of friendship for each other, in which they\nare so devoutly engaged, the younger part of the company will shape\ntheir course to the ball-room, or the card-table, as their individual\ninclinations suggest; and the remainder of the evening is spent with\nthe greatest pleasure of which human nature is susceptible. Nor\nwill this happy evening terminate the festivities of this occasion.\nChristmas mid-day awakes all but old age, to a renewal of former\nhilarity. To age, however, there is no permanent enjoyment ordained\nin this sublunary state. The transient gleam of happiness which\nanimated his feeble frame has given place, with the cause of it, to a\ngloom proportionate to his former joys. Headaches, rheumatisms, and\nother wonted infirmities, are this day returned with more than usual\nvirulence. He wakes only to recline his head on a pillow of sorrow, and\nto think on the days that are gone.\n\n\n\n\nNEW-YEAR\u2019S EVE.\n\n  \u201cA gude New Year I wish thee, Maggy.\u201d\n\n                                        BURNS.\n\n\nThe Highlander\u2019s native proneness to festive enjoyments, far from\nbeing cloyed by recent series of feasts and diversions, only receives\nfrom their speedy recurrence an additional excitement. Anxious by all\nmeans to secure this occasion its accustomed share of hilarity, fresh\nschemes of amusement are studied and promoted with unabated avidity.\nThe peculiar character of the time pre-eminently entitles it to every\ndemonstration of satisfaction which mankind can evince; and it must be\nno small stimulus to the Highlander\u2019s laudable zeal, to see that in\nthis he is imitated by beings whose abilities are far inferior to his\nown.\n\nWe presume it is a circumstance that is very little known in other\nquarters of the kingdom, that, on this particular occasion, even the\n_brute_ creation (if we may use the expression) have an instinctive\nknowledge of its auspices. In particular, that admirable object\nof Highland curiosity, the \u201c_Candlemas[N] Bull_,\u201d manifests no\nsmall degree of respect for the occasion. This strange and curious\n_animal_, which has so long escaped the observation of all the _Saxon_\nnaturalists and astronomers that ever lived, has been long since\ndiscovered by our Highland philosophers. We say astronomers! because,\nhowever strange it may appear, this bull forms an object of speculation\nconnected with their department of science. It must not, however, be\ninferred from this circumstance, that it is of that celestial species\nof bulls designated by astronomers to distinguish a particular division\nof the zodiac; neither is it of that terrestrial species known to\nnaturalists and cattle-dealers--it is of a species distinct from both.\nPartaking together of the a\u00ebrial and terrestrial nature and qualities,\nboth the earth and the air are equally its elements. This bull makes\nan annual excursion, in some latitude or other, about the twilight of\nthis night, no doubt in honour of the occasion. He has, it is said,\nneither wings nor any other apparent buoyants; but he takes advantage\nof the course of the wind, on which he glides along in fellowship with\nthe clouds, in a manner that would do credit to the best aeronaut\nof the day. The particular place of his ascension or descent, which\nvaries with the direction of the wind, cannot be exactly ascertained.\nNor can we favour the curious with a minute description of its bodily\nappearance, since we never had the good fortune to be present when it\nwas seen. All our informants, however, agree in representing it as of\na very large size, the colour of a dark cloud, and having all the limbs\nof a common bull.[O]\n\nAs soon as night sets in, it is the signal for the suspension of\ncommon employments; and the Highlander\u2019s attention is directed to\nmore agreeable and important callings. Associating themselves into\nbands, the men, with tethers and axes, shape their course towards the\njuniper bushes, which are as much in request this night as kail is\non Hallowe\u2019en. Returning home with Herculean loads, the juniper is\narranged around the fire to dry till the morning. Some careful person\nis also dispatched to the _dead and living ford_, who draws a pitcher\nof water, observing all the time the most profound silence. Great care\nmust be taken that the vessel containing the water does not touch the\nground, otherwise it would lose all its virtues. These and every other\nnecessary peculiar to the occasion being provided, the inmates retire\nto rest for the night, full of the thoughts of the morrow.\n\nThe Highlander\u2019s morning cheer this day is far less palatable than\nthat with which he is served so comfortably on Christmas-day. But if\nit be not so agreeable to his temporal inclinations, it is far more\nbeneficial to his spiritual interests. The _Lagan-le-vrich_, though\nvery good in itself as a substantial dish, will do no more than satisfy\nfor a time the cravings of nature. But the treat of which he partakes\nthis day extends its effects to the good of both soul and body. This\ntreat, if we may so call it, is divided into two courses, which are\nproductive of the following good effects.\n\nThe first course, consisting of the _Usque-Cashrichd_, or water\nfrom the _dead and living ford_, by its sacred virtues, preserves\nthe Highlander, until the next anniversary, from all those direful\ncalamities proceeding from the agency of all infernal spirits,\nwitchcraft, evil eyes, and the like. And the second course, consisting\nof the fumes of juniper, not only removes whatever diseases may\naffect the human frame at the time, but it likewise fortifies the\nconstitution against their future attacks. These courses of medicine\nare administered in the following manner:--\n\nLight and fire being kindled, and the necessary arrangements having\nbeen effected, the high priest of the ceremonies for the day, and his\nassistants, proceed with the hallowed water to the several beds in the\nhouse, and, by means of a large brush, sprinkles upon their occupants a\nprofuse shower of the precious preservative, which, notwithstanding its\nsalutary properties, they sometimes receive with jarring ingratitude.\n\nThe first course being thus served, the second is about to be\nadministered, preliminary to which it is necessary to stuff all the\ncrevices and windows in the house, even to the key-hole. This done,\npiles of juniper are kindled into a conflagration in the different\napartments of the house. Rising in fantastic curls, the fumes of\nthe blazing juniper spread along the roof, and gradually condense\nthemselves into an opaque cloud, filling the apartment with an\nodoriferous fumigation altogether overpowering. Penetrating into the\ninmost recesses of the patient\u2019s system, (for _patients_ they may well\nbe called,) it brings on an incessant shower of hiccupping, sneezing,\nwheezing, and coughing, highly demonstrative of its expectorating\nqualities. But it not unfrequently happens, that young and thoughtless\nurchins, not relishing such _physic_, and unmindful of the important\nbenefits they reap from it, diversify the scene by cries of suffocation\nand the like, which never fail to call forth from the more reflecting\npart of the family, if able to speak, a very severe reproof. Well\nknowing, however, that the more intense the \u201c_smuchdan_,\u201d the more\npropitious are its effects, the high priest, with dripping eyes and\ndistorted mouth, continues his operations, regardless of the feelings\nof his flock, until he considers the dose fully sufficient--upon which\nhe opens the _vent_, and the other crevices, to admit the genial fluid,\nto recover the spirits of the exhausted patients. He then proceeds to\ngratify the horses, cattle, and other bestial stock in the town, with\nthe same entertainment in their turn.[P]\n\nMeanwhile, the gudewife gets up, venting the most latent embryo of\ndisease in a copious expectoration; and clapping her hand upon the\nbottle _dhu_, she administers a renovating cordial to the sufferers\naround her. The painful ordeal is, therefore, soon forgotten, and\nnothing is heard but the salutations of the season. All the family\nnow get up, to wash their besmeared faces and prepare themselves for\nthe festivities of the day, and for receiving the visits of their\nneighbours. These last soon arrive in bodies, venting upon the family\nbroadsides of salutation peculiar to the day.[Q] Breakfast being served\nup, consisting of all the luxuries that can be procured, those of the\nneighbours not engaged are invited to partake of it; and the day is\nterminated with balls, drinking, card parties, and other sports too\ntedious to be mentioned.\n\n\n\n\nFASTEN\u2019S EVE.\n\n  \u201cAnd oft I hear your dearest name\n  Whispered in my troubled dream.\u201d\n\n\nThe most substantial entertainment peculiar to this night is the\nmatrimonial brose, which is a dish, we believe, well known throughout\nthe country at large. This savoury dish is generally made of the\nbree of a good fat jigget of beef or mutton, which, being sometimes\na good while in _retentum_, renders the addition of salt to the meal\nunnecessary. Before the bree is put in the bicker or plate, a ring is\nmixed with the meal, which it will be the aim of every partaker to\nget. The first bicker being discussed, the ring is put into two other\nbickers successively; and should any of the candidates for matrimony\nfind the ring more than once, he may rest assured of his marrying\nbefore the next anniversary.\n\nThe brose, and plenty of other good cheer, being dispatched, the\nguests betake themselves to another part of the night\u2019s entertainment.\nSoon as the evening circle convenes, the \u201c_Bannich Junit_,\u201d or \u201csauty\nbannocks,\u201d are resorted to. The component ingredients of those\ndainties are eggs and meal, and a sufficient quantity of salt, in order\nto sustain their ancient and appropriate appellation of \u201csauty.\u201d These\ningredients, well mixed together, are baked or toasted on the gridiron,\nand are regarded by old and young as a most delicious treat; and, as\nmay be expected, they have a charm attached to them, which enables\nthe happy Highlander to discover the object of all his spells--his\nconnubial bed-fellow.\n\nA sufficient number of those designed for the palate being prepared,\nthe great or matrimonial bannock is made, of which all the young people\nin the house partake. Into the ingredients of it there is some particle\nintermixed, which, in the distribution, will fall to the lot of some\nhappy person, who may be sure, if not already married, to be so before\nthe next anniversary.\n\nLast of all are made the _Bannich Bruader_, or dreaming bannocks, to\nthe ingredients composing which is added a little of that substance\nwhich chimney-sweeps call soot, and which contains some charm of which\nwe have not yet come to the knowledge. In baking these last bannocks,\nthe baker must be as mute as a stone--one word would destroy the charm\nof the whole concern. One is given to each individual, who slips off\nwith it quietly to bed; and, reposing his head on his bannock, he will\nbe gratified by the sight of his beloved in the course of his midnight\nslumbers.\n\n\n\n\nBELTANE EVE.\n\n  \u201cNow the sun\u2019s gone out o\u2019 sight,\n  Beet the ingle, snuff the light;\n  In glens the fairies skip and dance,\n  And witches wallop o\u2019er to France.\u201d\n\n                                   RAMSAY.\n\n\nBeltane Eve[R] is a night of considerable importance and of much\nanxiety to the Highland farmer, as being the grand anniversary review\nnight, on which all the tribes of witches, warlocks, wizards, and\nfairies, in the kingdom, are to be reviewed by Satan and his chief\ngenerals in person, and new candidates admitted into infernal orders.\nWhen such a troop, under such a commander, are let loose upon the\ncommunity, it is natural to suppose that much misery and devastation\nwill follow in their train; and when rewards are only conferred on\nthose most consummate in wickedness, and those most adept in cutting\ndiabolical cantrips, it is natural for every honest man to feel\nanxious that they may not obtain promotion at his expense. In order,\ntherefore, to be perfectly secure from the machinations of so dangerous\na society, every prudent man will resort to those safeguards that will\nkeep them at the staff\u2019s end. Messengers are therefore dispatched to\nthe woods for cargoes of the blessed rowan tree, the virtues of which\nare well known. Being formed into the shape of a cross, by means of a\nred thread, the virtues of which too are very eminent, those crosses\nare, with all due solemnity, inserted in the different door-lintels\nin the town, and protect those premises from the cantrips of the most\ndiabolical witch in the universe. Care should also be taken to insert\none of them in the midden, which has at all times been a favourite\nsite of _rendezvous_ with the black sisterhood. This cheaply purchased\nprecaution once observed, the people of those countries will now go to\nbed as unconcernedly, and sleep as soundly, as on any other night.\n\nWhile those necessary precautions are in preparation, the matron or\nhousekeeper is employed in a not less interesting avocation to the\njuvenile generation, _i. e._ baking the Beltane bannocks. Next morning\nthe children are presented each with a bannock, with as much joy as an\nheir to an estate his title-deeds; and having their pockets well lined\nwith cheese and eggs, to render the entertainment still more sumptuous,\nthey hasten to the place of assignation, to meet the little band\nassembled on the brow of some sloping hill, to reel their bannocks,\nand learn their future fate. With hearty greetings they meet, and with\ntheir knives make the signs of life and death on their bannocks. These\nsigns are a cross, or the sign of life, on the one side; and a cypher,\nor the sign of death, on the other. This being done, the bannocks are\nall arranged in a line, and on their edges let down the hill. This\nprocess is repeated three times, and if the cross most frequently\npresent itself, the owner will live to celebrate another Beltane day;\nbut if the cypher is oftenest uppermost, he is doomed to die of course.\nThis sure prophecy of short life, however, seldom spoils the appetites\nof the unfortunate short-livers, who will handle their knives with as\nlittle signs of death as their more fortunate companions. Assembling\naround a rousing fire of collected heath and brushwood, the ill-fated\nbannocks are soon demolished, amidst the cheering and jollity of the\nyouthful association.[S]\n\n\n\n\nCHRISTENINGS.\n\n  \u201cWhen we sit bowsing at the nappy,\n  And getting fu\u2019 and unco happy,\n  We think not on the lang Scots miles,\n  The mosses, waters, slaps, an\u2019 stiles.\u201d\n\n                                       BURNS.\n\n\nHaving travelled over the prominent features which distinguish public\nannual festivities in the Highlands of Scotland, we shall now briefly\ndirect the reader\u2019s attention to those particular occasions which\nonly interest private circles of friends; and of all these it may be\nsaid, that the birth and christening of a child forms one of the most\npleasant and important. The fond parent, filled with those visionary\nhopes and expectations which the imagination is so apt to conceive as\nthe portion of those objects most dear to us, fancies he beholds in\nhis new offspring the future hero or statesman, whose fragile hand may\nbe destined to wield the sword of a general or the pen of a statesman.\nSuch is the impression of the Highland parent in particular--an\nimpression in which he is perhaps confirmed by superior authority. The\ngreat utility and comfort derived from having the assistance of those\nwise people, whose experience and judgment enable them to discover\nthose great destinies in an infant, is abundantly apparent; and of this\ncapacity most of the Highland matrons are possessed. It is no doubt\nthis weighty consideration that induces every honest woman to have her\nown junto of matron counsellors, whose presence is as indispensable\non the occasion of an accouchement as that of the _accoucheur_. If\nthe offspring is a son, it is likely those sage physiognomists will\nalready trace in his infantile lineaments clear signs of that future\ngreatness which he is destined some happy day to display, as well\nas the striking resemblance he bears to his father and mother. The\ngreatness of such a _blessing_ as this they never fail to impress upon\nthe overjoyed father, (though, by the bye, he may have had too many\nof these blessings before,) who is thus induced cheerfully to devote\nmore of his little property than he can well afford, to give the\noccasion its deserved _eclat_. Filled with pleasure, elated with hope,\nHighland hospitality has no bounds--a score of lives are sacrificed at\nthe shrine of festivity, and all the neighbours and kinsmen invited\nto the christening. The day arrived, the little great man destined to\ngrace some name is arrayed in his robes of state, and confided to the\ncare of the happy sponsors, who, (should the parson not attend the\nfeast,) together with the company present, will proceed with him to\nthe parsonage, to receive the ordinance of baptism. On their return,\nthe guests assembled will pledge the health of their host and the\n_Benheen_, or the sick wife, in overflowing bumpers--not forgetting\nyoung Donald, who, \u201c_may he thrive_,\u201d every body praises for a fine\nchild.\n\nThe seating and tables being next sorted in some snug place, the feast\ncommences with a course of savoury soup, which is pronounced good\nby all. A succeeding course of broth is still better; and a third\nstill better than the second. Mutton and beef follow, each good in\nits kind. Plenty of fowls, equally delicious, are next ushered in,\ncalling forth the unqualified praise of the guests, who, upon the\nwhole, pronounce the banquet the most luxurious which they have seen\nfor a long time before. The dessert once dispatched, the flowing bowl\nsucceeds, and the rafters are made again to resound to the healths of\nthe young hero and his parents. A long catalogue of those toasts and\nsentiments most congenial to the feelings of the company are next drank\nwith the greatest glee; and bowl after bowl is speedily drained \u201cto\n_friendship\u2019s growth_,\u201d the effects of which bespeak themselves in the\naspect of the company.\n\nEnveloped in a cloud of tobacco-smoke, in one corner a hamlet\npolitician is retailing to his half-attentive neighbour the various\nnews of the day. Another guest is as warmly engaged in the praise of\nhis wife, his horses, or his cattle; and another is eagerly soliciting\nattention to his improved mode of ploughing his ground, sowing his\nturnips, and planting his potatoes. At length, when the house begins to\nrevolve, each thinks it time to withdraw. The officious midwife then\ncomes to the door, full of kind inquiries, if each has got his own\nplaid, bonnet, and staff; and being rewarded for her attention by the\ncustomary _douceur_, she wishes them all a good night and a pleasant\njourney.\n\n\n\n\nWEDDINGS.\n\n  \u201cWas ne\u2019er in Scotland heard or seen\n    Sic dancing and deray;\n  Nouther at Falkland on the green,\n    Nor Peebles at the play.\u201d\n\n                             KING JAMES I.\n\n\nInteresting as a christening undoubtedly is to the parents of the\nchild, it is, neither in a public nor private sense, so happy an\noccasion as that which we are about to describe. If there is any thing\nunder the sun in which true happiness really consists, we are told it\nis in the consummation of a marriage, where the parties, uninfluenced\nby sordid motives, are entirely brought together by the magnetic power\nof love. Of such a description the Highland marriages are in general.\nThe lower classes being pretty equal in their circumstances, policy and\ninterest have less influence in their marriages than is the case with\nany other rank of people; and consequently the parties are left more to\nthe unbiassed dictates of their own voluntary choice.\n\nWhen a couple of young lovers propose to get married, the nearest\nrelations of both parties meet to take the case into consideration;\nand, in general, it is no difficult matter for the lovers and their\nadvocates to get a decision consonant to their inclinations. This is\ncalled the booking (\u201c_leuruch_\u201d) or contract, which is very often\nratified by no other covenant than a few bottles of whisky. If the\nparties come to an understanding, the lovers are immediately declared\nbride and bridegroom; and some Tuesday or Thursday in the growth of the\nmoon is fixed upon for the celebration of the nuptials. Meanwhile, to\nsustain the dignity of the bridal pair, from motives of policy as well\nas of state, they select from their kinsmen two trustworthy persons\neach, who are delegated to the other--the male to protect the party\nfrom being stolen, (a practice once common, and not yet extinct,) and\nthe female to act as maid of honour and lady of the bedchamber on the\nbridal occasion.\n\nA few days prior to the bridal day, the parties, with their attendants,\nperambulate the country, inviting the guests, on which occasion they\nmeet with marked attention from old and young. The invitations are all\ndelivered to the parties _propria persona_ at their firesides; and if\nthe wedding is to be a cheap one, a small present is sometimes offered\nto the bride, and accepted of.\n\nOn the morning of the wedding-day, some lady, who is above the ordinary\nlevel, and who has been constituted mistress of the ceremonies for the\nday, arrives to deck the bride in her splendid habiliments. She is\nreceived by the clean white bride, previously prepared for her by a\nducking in the cold bath; and, retiring to the wardrobe chamber, she is\nspeedily metamorphosed from a \u201csonsy country lassie\u201d into a downright\nlady--at least, if muslins and ribbons are all that is requisite to\nconfer this distinction, she is entitled to it. The bridegroom, too,\nat his apartments, has his own decorators, who deck him out most\nsplendidly with marriage favours and other ornaments suitable to the\noccasion.\n\nMeanwhile, repeated vollies of musketry summon the guests to the\nwedding. Mounted on his palfry, each \u201ccrony\u201d shapes his course to the\nhouse to which he was invited; while droves of youngsters flock along\nthe road, whose hearts at every shot are bounding with joy. On their\narrival, they are ushered into the breakfasting apartment, to partake\nof the forenoon\u2019s entertainment, consisting of good milk porridge and\ncream, on which they fare very sumptuously. After this mid-day repast,\nthey are led to the ball-room, or dancing apartment, to share in its\nenjoyment. Here the bride or bridegroom is seated at the upper end of\nthe ball-room, and receives the company, as they successively arrive,\nwith great pomp and ceremony; and the dancing and mirth is prolonged\nfor some hours.\n\nAt the time appointed, the bridegroom selects a party of young men,\nwho are dispatched to summon the bride and her party to the marriage\nceremony. Their approach is announced by showers of musketry opened\nupon them by some of the bride\u2019s men, and returned, most of the guests\nbeing furnished with pistols. The bride\u2019s party accordingly prepare\nthemselves for the procession. The bride is mounted upon some _canny_\ncharger behind an expert rider; drams go round to her health and\nprosperity; and, the company being all in readiness, she leaves her\nnative residence for another, amidst the cheers and _feu-de-joie_ of\nthe assembly. Marching to the sound of the inspiring bagpipes, and\nthe discharge of fire-arms, the bride\u2019s party proceed to the place\nappointed for the marriage. The bridegroom\u2019s party follow at some\nlittle distance; and both arrived at the appointed place of rendezvous,\nthe bridegroom\u2019s party stand in the rear till the bride\u2019s party enter\nthe meeting-house, agreeably to the rules of precedence, which on this\noccasion are decidedly in favour of the bride in all the proceedings of\nthe day.\n\nSoon as the hymeneal knot is tied, the candidates for the honour of\nwonning the kail, as they call it, drive off _pell mell_ for the\nbridegroom\u2019s house, horsemen and footmen promiscuously. Both parties,\nnow mingled together, proceed with multitudinous jovialty towards the\nbridegroom\u2019s, the scene of the future festivities of the night. A\nvolley of fire-arms announces their arrival; and the company assembled\nat the door, to welcome the bride, assail her with a basket of the\nbridal bread and cheese, the properties of which are well known. The\nbridal pair are then seated at the upper end of the banquet, and the\nguests are arrayed, according to their quality, around the far-extended\ntables, formed of doors, chests, and cart bottoms, sustained by sturdy\nsupporters of wood or stone; and wooden beams, and deals for chairs, in\ncommon form. The more plebeian part of the guests, freely disposed of\nin the stables or byres, make themselves very comfortable with their\ncheer.\n\nShortly the waiters come round the circle, presenting each with a\nspoon, which he must carefully return when done with it. The spoon\nis followed with the hardly-contested kail. After this, a remove of\nsavoury broth is presently brought in; of which all having partaken,\nthe still more delicious \u201c_hotch-potch_\u201d succeeds. Then follow fowl of\nevery feather, and every beast and creeping thing--\n\n  \u201cHind and fore spalls of a sheep\n    Drew whittles frae ilk sheath;\n  Wi\u2019 gravie a\u2019 their beards did creep,\n    They kempit wi\u2019 their teeth.\u201d\n\nThe dinner being over, the \u201cshemit reel\u201d is the next object of\nattention. All the company assemble on the lawn with flambeaux, and\nform into a circle. The bridal pair and their retinue then dance a\n_sixsome reel_, each putting a piece of silver into the musician\u2019s\nhand. Those desirous may then succeed, and dance with the bride and\nthe two maids of honour, and are gratified at the commencement and\ntermination of each reel by the usual salutes.\n\nIn the meantime, the stewards of the feast having removed the temporary\nerections from the dancing apartments, the shemit reel being over,\nthe guests re-occupy their seats in the original order, and dancing\nand mirth is again resumed. Tartan plaids, spreading in every corner,\ninvite the fair to take shelter in those most congenial to their\ninclinations. The jovial smiling bowl, now reeking in a corner, allures\nto its side its votaries--the circling glass adds additional stimulus\nto the riotous spirit of the company. In short, pleasure presents\nherself for courtship in all her luring forms.\n\nAs the night advances, the company grows still more happy. The numerous\nills of the human lot, which at other times so much afflict them, now\ncause them no concern; on the contrary, they are entirely full of its\npleasures. Hence, all the corners of the house, instead of declamations\nagainst the infirmities of age, or the badness of the times, are full\nof the happiest communications. Opportunities long sought for declaring\nsecret friendship have now occurred, and the warmth with which they\nare expressed forcibly bespeak their fervency. Two patriarchs \u201chad\nlong indulged the hope of seeing an honourable alliance betwixt\n_their_ families. Both honest and respectable, the union of their\nchildren would be a highly suitable match; and should such a desirable\nevent ever occur, there was a black stocking in secret, which would\nspew on the occasion of the wedding.\u201d In another, you may see two\nhearty grey-beards, whose locked hands and contacting noddles show\nthe closeness of their friendship, relating to each other, with much\ncomplacency, those tales of \u201c_auld langsyne_\u201d in which they themselves\nacted so prominent a part. In another corner, the fond lover, with his\ndearly beloved locked in his affectionate embrace, melting her heart\nwith his wooing strains; and in another, the vocal choir, whose throats\nof steel vociferate their harmonious ditties on the gratified ears of\nthe company; while, on the top of a bed, or at the back of the door,\nthe juvenile part of the guests, assembled in tumultuous rabble, will\nalso join their voices in the general uproar.\n\nOn the floor the dancers are beyond compare. Fixed with emulation\nwho shall _win the dance_, every nerve and muscle is put in active\nexercise. The lads are gaining greater agility every successive reel;\nwhile, in the language of the poet,\n\n  \u201cThe lasses bab\u2019d about the reel,\n    Gart a\u2019 their hurdies wallop,\n  And swat like ponies when they speel\n    Up braes, or when they gallop.\u201d\n\nThis scene lasts for some hours, until the presence of day warns the\nbride to prepare for the bedding. Wishing, if possible, to elude the\npublic gaze, she attempts to steal away privately, when, observed by\nsome vigilant eye, her departure is announced, and all push to the\nbridal chamber.\n\nThe door is instantly forced open, and the devoted bride, divested of\nall her braws, and stripped nearly to the state of nature, is placed in\nbed in presence of the whole company. Her left stocking is then flung,\nand falls upon some individual, whose turn to the hymeneal altar will\nbe the next. The bridegroom, next led in, is as rapidly demolished, and\ncosily stowed along-side of his darling. A bottle and glass being then\nhanded to the bridegroom, he rewards the friendliness of those who come\nforward to offer their congratulations, with a flowing bumper. When the\nnumerous lev\u00e9e have severally paid their court, they retire, and leave\nthe young couple to repose.\n\nOn returning to the grand scene of festivity, we shall find that the\naspect of the company there has suffered no small alteration during\nour absence. Overpowered by the peculiar influence of the ardent\nfriendship which fills the elder branches of the company, those\nboisterous expressions of esteem which recently occupied them so much,\nhave declined into the calmest complacency. Overcome by the most\nunspeakable sensations, the tongue, which was lately so voluble, has\ntotally failed. Those legs, which but a few hours ago displayed the\ngreatest agility, have now refused their office; and the whole machine\nis become perfectly unwieldy and unmanageable:\n\n  \u201cIn their mawes there was na mank;\n    Upon the firms some snor\u2019d;\n  Ithers frae aff the bunkers sank,\n    Wi\u2019 een like collops scor\u2019d.\u201d\n\nSeated by the victorious bowl, the _Far Cuil_ is still engaged in his\nmusical vocation. With bow alternately above and below the strings,\nhe is earnestly employed at _Tullochgorum_, while cries for the same\nspring, proceeding from the dancers on the floor, incessantly ring on\nhis ears. Insensible to time or measure, some of the young people still\nwallop on the floor, and unabated clamour reigns throughout the house.\n\nMeanwhile, all the avenues leading from the town are thronged with\nretiring guests \u201c_careering_\u201d on their way home; and the company is\nultimately reduced to the immediate friends and relations of the\nyoung couple, who wait to offer their morning congratulations. When\nthe bridal pair are supposed to have reposed themselves sufficiently\nlong, they are warned to get up, to prepare for the breakfast and the\nmorning lev\u00e9e. On entering the grand breakfasting parlour, the whole\nconcourse of friends receive them with showers of compliments and\ncongratulations, accompanied by such gifts as may be convenient; and\nyesterday\u2019s scene of festivity is again renewed, and prolonged for the\nday.\n\n\n\n\nWAKES.\n\n  \u201cBut turn to yonder cloister\u2019d gloom,\n    Where pallid Sorrow leads the way,\n  To muse upon some hallow\u2019d tomb,\n    Where Friendship\u2019s dearest relics lie.\u201d\n\n                                            W. S.\n\n\nShort and unstable are the joys of man!--How often does it happen that\nsuch ardent scenes of pleasure as we have been just endeavouring to\ndescribe are but like the gleam which precedes the storm--a prelude\nto direful woe! Oft has the tender parent or loving child, who but\nyesterday animated such a scene of festivity, to-day exhibited the most\ndesponding spectacle which human nature can witness. Those eyes, which\nthen sparkled at the _pibroch\u2019s_ harmonious sounds, are now sealed for\never; and his relations and friends are involved in grief more vehement\nthan their former joys.\n\nProne to partake in his neighbour\u2019s joys, the Highlander, on such\noccasions as this, is equally ready to share in his sorrows, and will\nnot grudge to contribute his exertions, by night as well as by day, to\nadd to his comfort or consolation. On the last offices of friendship\nbeing performed, the body is laid on a bed in that apartment of the\nhouse most commodious and suitable for the company; and the neighbours\nimmediately collect in bands, to watch over the remains of departed\nfriendship. During the silent hours of midnight, the solemnity of the\noccasion is heightened by the sound of sacred praise, and reading\nof the blessed Gospel. Such are now the laudable employments which\nhave assumed the place of that revelry which formerly disgraced the\nHighland wakes, when immoderate drinking, dancing, wanton levity, and\nprofane amusements, were the prominent features of such an assembly.\nIt is true, the moderate use of liquor and singing of songs are still\ntolerated, but excess on these occasions is now unknown. On the\ndeparture of every group, one of the friends in attendance conducts\nthem to the melancholy bier, when each generally testifies the ardour\nof his friendship by shaking the hand, which now cannot feel his\nproffered kindness, and retires full of those solemn reflections which\nthe scene is calculated to produce.\n\n\n\n\nFUNERALS.\n\n  \u201cIn some fond breast still lives the face,\n    Its wonted smile, the darling form,\n  Which awful death cannot efface,\n    However much it may deform.\u201d\n\n                                          W. S.\n\n\nOn the third day after the defunct\u2019s decease, if the person occupied\nno station above the ordinary level, the body will be led to its\ndestined abode. This sorrowful day is early distinguished by melancholy\narrangements. Verbal warnings having been previously circulated to the\nmale inhabitants of the district, large and timeous preparations are\nnecessary for their accommodation and entertainment. While the seating\nof the apartments destined to receive the company occupies the men,\nthe arrangement of the entertainment occupies no less the attention of\nthe women. In the meanwhile, the relations and family of the deceased\nattire themselves in the best mournings their circumstances can afford,\nand prepare themselves for going through the duties of the day with\nall possible fortitude and decency. The arrival of the wooden house\nof death, and the deposition of its inhabitant, early call forth many\na sigh and tear at the parting which is about to take place. But the\nclosing of the coffin is deferred till the eve of removal.\n\nAbout twelve o\u2019clock, the company, or, to speak more properly, the\nguests, successively arrive in scattered groups, dressed in all the\nvariegated colours of the rainbow; and are received by some near\nconnection of the deceased, who conducts them to the place appointed\nfor their station.\n\nWith becoming gravity they take their seats, condoling very feelingly\nwith the present friends on their lamentable loss, and carry on for a\nwhile a conversation very suitable to the business which brought them\ntogether. They are each served, on their arrival, with what is called\na dram of \u201c_dry whisky_,\u201d and some fit person is appointed to keep the\nglass in active circulation. To him is also delegated a discretionary\npower of imposing extra penalties on late comers, who must compensate\nfor their absence by drinking a double quantity on their arrival.\n\nThus, all equally well plied with the enlivening glass, the solemn\naspect of the company is soon changed into a mixture of sorrow and joy.\nThe moralist, who so recently uttered such sage reflections upon the\nshortness of life and its uncertainty, is transformed by some secret\ninfluence into the sprightly wit, whose humorous jokes and repartees\ncontinually agitate the risible powers of his audience. In short, the\nhouse of mourning is rapidly changing into a house of mirth; and such\nwould be the opinion of any stranger who might visit the scene.\n\nAs soon as he approaches the door of the _meeting-house_, his ears are\nassailed with a confusion of sounds, which conveys to him the idea of\nentering a house full of bees. Seated in double rows, extending from\none end of the house to the other, he finds it literally crammed, not\nwith bees, but Highlandmen of every age and condition. In each end of\nthe house he sees overflowing bowls, and walking to and fro, a host of\nwaiters, bearing the full and empty glasses of the company, followed by\nothers with bread and cheese, which are liberally distributed amongst\nthe guests. Being seated in the place befitting his rank or station, if\ncuriosity leads him to a closer examination of the complexion of his\ncompany, he will not be a little amused at the diversity of feelings\nand conversation distinguishing the individuals composing it. If the\nvisitor or stranger whom we have supposed is of a serious cast of\nmind, and if he addresses himself to his elbow neighbour on the solemn\ncharacter of the occasion, and laments the pitiful state of the family\nthat may be thus deprived of their parent or provider--perhaps, if he\nlistens for a moment with counterfeited seriousness, the sprightly\nsally of a rustic wit rings upon his ear, and a horse-laugh immediately\nshows the spectator he has no great relish for his subject. If, again,\nhe addresses himself to one of a less jovial temperament, who has not\nyet been so much affected by the general _infection_ upon the same\nsubject, he will perhaps acknowledge the justness of his observations\nwith a significant shake of the head, declaring at the same time the\npoignancy of his sorrow for the deceased, who, \u201cnew peace to him, was\nthe best of souls.\u201d But, at the same time, and in the same breath, he\nwill make a digression to the alarming depreciation of agricultural\nproduce, and the consequent inevitable ruin of poor farmers, if they\ndo not immediately get a reduction of the one-half of their rents; and\nthe concern he evinces for both matters makes it difficult to determine\nwhich loss he considers the greater calamity. Listening to the various\ntopics of conversation discussed by the company in general, he will\nfind _seriousness_ form no part of it. Having already sufficiently\nmoralized on the _evils_ of life, they are now resolved to confine\nthemselves entirely to its _goods_. Death, low prices, and high rents,\nhave now given place to balls, feasts, and diversions. One group is\nwarmly engaged in scheming a \u201c_dry or wet ball_;\u201d another group is\nwarmly expatiating upon the good signs of the year, corroborated as\nthey are by the \u201c_annual prognostic_;\u201d and others are as warmly engaged\nin recriminating each other for their notorious gallantries, and the\nlike; while a good spring, a good harvest, and ready sale to sheep and\ncattle, are drunk by all with the greatest enthusiasm. All are become\nsuddenly acquainted with the proverb, \u201cA pound of care will not pay\nan ounce of debt;\u201d and therefore they are determined to spend life in\nfriendship and good hopes. In obedience to this wholesome resolution,\neach crony, as he gives his neighbour the hand, will also give him\nthe pipe or the \u201csneeshan mill,\u201d and would be very sorry to see him\nill-used in a \u201c_pley_,\u201d or any such cause, without rendering him a\nhelping hand.\n\nAs the drinking continues, the company become still more noisy.\nRepetitions of toasts, the vacant laugh, and incoherent exclamation,\nmingled with a few little oaths, are what perpetually burst upon the\near; and the sequel of such unhallowed carousals exhibit but too\nfrequently a scene of the most improper levity.[T]\n\nFar different, however, are the feelings and conduct of those mournful\nindividuals who occupy another apartment, where the affectionate widow\nor fatherless orphans are now assembled, to take the last and long\nfarewell of the relics of love. In deep dismay, behold the sorrowing\ngroup bending over the dear remains, absorbed in frantic woe, bathing\nwith their tears unfeeling death, insensible to all their sorrows.\n\nWhen the weeping relatives have severally bade the corpse the last\nadieu, by imparting the farewell kiss to the cold and pallid lip of\ndeath, (which, nevertheless, is perhaps the sweetest we ever impart,)\nthe dearest form is for ever concealed from their view.\n\n  \u201cLong on the lip the kiss will dwell,\n    And on the ear the mournful sigh,\n  Which seal\u2019d the last and fond farewell,\n    And forg\u2019d a bond time can\u2019t untie.\u201d\n\nThe necessary arrangements being effected, the coffin is brought forth,\nsurrounded by the bereaved friends, and bound on the _hanspecks_ on\nsome convenient supports at the door; and when time will no longer\npermit the guests to indulge in their hilarity, an unwelcome summons\ninvites them to their duty. Issuing forth tumultuously, they surround\ntheir charge; and all the riders being provided with their horses, the\nsignal for setting off is given. The female relations, according to the\ncustom of some countries, get the first lift; and the supports on which\nthe body was bound being carefully overturned, for some reason best\nknown to the wise men of the day, the multitudinous procession takes\nthe road.\n\nAt this moment a scene presents itself to the cool spectator, wholly\nwithout a parallel. The various habiliments of the company--riders and\npedestrians mingled together--the sound of the horses--and the united\nclamour of the multitude--are altogether striking. At one time, the\nexpressions of mirth predominate; while, at others, the heart-rending\nlamentations of the female relations of the defunct prevail, and in\ntheir turn vibrate upon the ear. The women, at length unwillingly\ndisentangled from the body, return home with mournful wailing, and the\nprocession continues its course to its destination. Too many of the\ncompany are sometimes more intent upon their own pleasures than mindful\nof their business, roving about in scattered parties; while others\nexhibit, in their attention, a pattern of correctness and decorum;\nand, warmly enumerating the good qualities of the deceased, descant on\nthe happy change he has made--at the same time walking with a careful\nstep, lest an unfortunate fall beneath the body should doom themselves\nto share his enviable lot.[U]\n\nAt length, arrived at the mansions of the dead, the body is\nlowered into its drear abode, amidst the sorrowing of some and the\ninsensibility of others. The slate planted on the grave terminates its\nearthly career, and consigns it for ever to the land of forgetfulness.\n\n  \u201cYet, though consign\u2019d to death\u2019s dark shade,\n    And ever hid from mortal view,\n  Still constant Love, by Fancy led,\n    The dreary scene will oft review.\u201d\n\n\nThe End.\n\n\n  J. S. WITHERDEN, Lithographic and Letterpress Printer,\n  Clifford\u2019s Inn Passage, Fleet Street.\n\n\n\n\nFOOTNOTES:\n\n[A] Nothing can appear more surprising to the refined reader, than that\nany human being, possessing the rational faculties of human nature,\ncould for a moment entertain a notion so preposterous as that a ghost,\nwhich conveys the idea of an immortal spirit, could be killed, or\nrather annihilated, by an arrow, dirk, or sixpence. It was, however,\nthe opinion of the darker ages, that such an exploit as killing a ghost\nwas perfectly practicable. A spirit was supposed to be material in\nits nature, quite susceptible of mortal pain, and liable to death or\nannihilation from the weapons of man. Such an opinion is repeatedly\nexpressed in several passages of the Poems of Ossian, and in the\ndoctrine of the _Seanachy_, down to the present day.\n\n[B] John-o\u2019-Groat\u2019s House, Caithness.\n\n[C] We are informed that there is a woman still living in the parish\nof Abernethy, on whom this experiment was tried. She was found one\nnight, rather unaccountably, as it appeared to her wise parents, on\nthe outside of a window. No doubt, therefore, remained, but that she\nhad been stolen by the fairies, and a stock left as her substitute. It\nwas, therefore, unanimously resolved to carry the stock to the junction\nof the shires of Inverness, Moray, and Banff, where the poor child was\nleft for a night to enjoy the pleasures of solitude. Being well rolled\nup in a comfortable blanket, she sustained no material injury from\nthis monstrous exposure, and, accordingly, the result proved highly\nsatisfactory to her enlightened guardians.\n\n[D] Mine is yours, and yours is mine.\n\n[E] The goats are supposed to be upon a very good understanding with\nthe fairies, and possessed of more cunning and knowledge than their\nappearance bespeaks.\n\n[F] Witchcraft.\n\n[G] A Witch.\n\n[H] The present Lord Murray is supposed to have been the gentleman who\ndiscovered to Mr. Willox this convenient piece of information regarding\nthe original nature and use of the _stone_.\n\n[I] North.\n\nSince the first publication of this book, the renowned Mr. Mac Grigor\nWillox has been laid with his fathers, leaving the stone and bridle\nto his son and daughter, as heirlooms for the benefit of posterity.\nThe goodman died full of years, if not full of any thing else which is\ncoveted by the people of this world. But by his death it is believed\nthat the spell which so long bound the northern community to his stone\nand bridle has been broken; and it is thought that those precious\nrelics, which were scarcely \u201chonestly come by,\u201d may be returned to the\nkelpie and the mermaid, their original owners, should they or their\nrepresentatives be disposed to claim restitution of them.\n\nThe highly curious and interesting collection of Criminal Trials,\nrecently published by Robert Pitcairn, Esq., affords ample particulars\nof the _modus operandi_ by which the workers of Satan in human shape\naccomplished their nefarious ends. The reader is particularly referred\nto the cases of those witches of quality, Lady Glammis and Lady Munro\nof Fowlis, and to the assistant hags of the latter, consisting of\nLaskie Loncart, Christy Ross, and others, all highly deserving of\n_record_. But Isobel Gowdie, the head witch of Auldearn, who, on her\nown confession, was condemned to be \u201cworried and burned at a stake\u201d\nin 1662, is the standard authority to refer to on these subjects. It\nappears that in those days Auldearn, near Nairn, now the locality of\na virtuous community, was the great nursery that supplied Satan with\n_cadets_ for his \u201cBlack Watch;\u201d for so numerous were the members of\nthe craft at that place, according to Isobel Gowdie, that on occasions\nof public inspection by the sovereign of the order, they were counted\nor told off in _squads_ or \u201c_covines_\u201d (as Isobel called them), to\neach of which were appointed two _adjutants_ or _drill-sergeants_,\nthe brigade-major being a \u201c_well-favoured_\u201d wench of the name of\n\u201c_Nannie_,\u201d who occupied the seat of honour at Satan\u2019s _carousals_. On\nsuch occasions of assembly, they dug up graves, possessed themselves\nof unchristened infants, using their joints and members in their\nincantations. They metamorphosed themselves into the forms of crows,\ncats, hares, &c., and played all manners of cantrips on live stock and\nfarm produce. But it not unfrequently happened that those _amusements_\nturned out but indifferent _sport_ to some of the _probationers_\nconcerned,--several worthies, and Isobel Gowdie among the rest, having\nhad unwittingly become the subjects of the _chase_, at the feet and\nmouths of the greyhounds of the day, who have \u201cno respect of persons,\u201d\nor the characters in which they enacted their parts. And it would also\nappear that the cadets in this Royal Military College formed any thing\nbut an harmonious society--the Master General, and his _Sappers_ and\n_Miners_, often quarrelling about very minor matters, such as titles of\ndistinction; in the course of which the _master_ often received many\n_black names_, and the apprentices many _stripes_. But it would appear\nthat \u201cone Margaret Wilson in Auldearn\u201d was nearly match for him; for\nIsobel Gowdie declares she used to \u201c_bell the cat_\u201d with him stoutly;\n\u201cdefending herself finely\u201d from the _wool-cards_ and such other sharp\ninstruments of punishment as he made use of on those occasions. \u201cIt was\nno doubt one of those ancient _covines_ that encountered Macbeth (not\nfar from the College) on his way to Forres.\u201d\n\nBut since the days of Isobel Gowdie, Maggy Wilson, Bessy Hay, and Co,\nthe _union_ has been repealed, without the aid of any great agitator;\nfor ever since their day, the people in this parish have died a natural\ndeath. But it is still mooted, \u201c_sotto voce_,\u201d that there are still\nsome roots of the old tree scattered over neighbouring territories\nnot far from the capital of the Highlands, who have been allowed to\nlive quite as long as they deserved. And one Isabella Hay, probably\na descendant of her namesake of Auldearn, has for many years levied\n_blackmail_ on the inhabitants of Inverness, until having, by her imps,\nin autumn 1839, laid her enchantments on the goods and chattels of some\npeople in Inverness (the author among the number), she was sentenced\nin September, 1839, by the Circuit Court of Justiciary--not to the\n_stake_, but to a punishment which, however, has served to put an end\nto her sorceries.\n\nAmong recent discoveries of the author as charms, or rather\ncounter-charms against witchcraft, it deserves to be noticed, that if\na knot tied against the sun be made on the tail of a quadruped, it\nis secure against the spells of necromancy. It is, or had been till\nrecently, also a common practice to put a portion of the medicinal\nherb or plant called \u201c_saffron_\u201d under the churn while the process\nof churning the cream is undergoing, which will prevent the _craft_\nfrom taking the substance by means of their magical _rope_, by the\noperations of which they were wont to extract from a piece of wood\nin their own dwellings the soul and substance of what might belong\nto parties afar off, and who, without such precaution, might churn\naway till doomsday without the appearance of the yellow treasure. And\nmoistening the mouth of a calf with the extract of the said vegetable,\nand setting it to suck a cow whose milk might go to the said _rope_,\nwill instantly restore it to the proper owner.\n\nIt need scarcely be added, in conclusion, that _scoring_ a witch\ncrosswise on the forehead, or above her breath, divests her of\nall supernatural power. But the laws are now so strong, even at\nJohn-o\u2019-Groat\u2019s house, that the processes of trial by _swimming_ and\n_scoring_ cannot now be resorted to, except in _extreme_ cases where\nthe _subjects_ have not the benefit of _law_ or _clergy_. On a very\nrecent occasion, however, in Ross-shire, a worthy fisher, whose nets\nsuffered no small prejudice from the machinations of a neighbour, but\nno friend, performed on her, much against her consent, the operation\nof _scoring_ on the forehead, for which the sheriff of Ross, in August\n1845, sentenced him to undergo a short imprisonment in the gaol of Tain.\n\n[J] Switched cream.\n\n[K] The game called \u201c_Clodhan_,\u201d or Clod, is a favourite amusement\nwith the youth in the Highlands. One of the company goes round the\ncircle with a clod, or some other article, putting his hand into each\nperson\u2019s lap or hand, and leaves the clod with one of the number. The\nwhole circle are then desired to guess the person who possesses the\nclod, (he guessing like the rest to prevent suspicion,) when all those\nwho err are subjected to a small penalty, which shall be afterwards\ndetermined by an appointed judge; and in the meantime, he must deliver\nsome pledge to enforce his compliance with the arbiter\u2019s decision. When\na sufficient number of pledges are obtained, judgment is pronounced\nagainst their owners, who must redeem them, by doing various little\npenances, some of which are sufficiently ludicrous.\n\nThe bag is another popular juvenile amusement. One pops his head into a\nbag, holding his hand spread on his back, and the palm uppermost. One\nof the company, in rotation, strikes his hand, not unfrequently with\nall his might, upon that of the person in the bag, who is desired to\nguess who struck him last. If his guessing proves correct, the last\nstriker then puts his head in the bag in his turn.\n\n[L] Half-boiled sowans.\n\n[M] \u201cA black Christmas makes a fat kirk-yard.\u201d A windy Christmas and a\ncalm Candlemas, or new year, are signs of a good year.\n\n[N] The term _Candlemas_ is applied to the _New Year_ in the Highlands.\nThe origin of the term arose from some old religious ceremonies\nperformed on this occasion by candle-light.\n\n[O] We are totally unable to account for the origin of this strange\npiece of superstition. It is unnecessary to remark, that the object\nof this delusion is nothing but a passing cloud, which the perverted\nimagination of the original Highlander shapes into the form of a bull.\nThere is something very ominous as to the art or direction in which the\nbull rises or falls--we believe it to be prognostic of its being a good\nor bad year.\n\n[P] It is believed that this extraordinary entertainment is now\nadministered in no part of the Highlands, except in Strathdown and its\nimmediate neighbourhood. In that district, however, the inhabitants\ngenerally attend to it, merely, it is believed, from the influence\nof inveterate custom, and the author in his day had his share of the\nantidote, though it is doubtful whether those rites are now observed in\nhis native district.\n\n[Q] The literal expressions used in the salutation applicable to this\nday in the Gaelic language the writer could never perfectly comprehend.\nThe literal translation of the words are, (_Mu nasc choil orst_,) \u201cMy\nCandlemas bond upon you.\u201d The real meaning of the words, however, is,\n\u201cYou owe me a New-Year\u2019s gift;\u201d and it is a point of great emulation\nwho will salute the other first--the one who does so being considered\nentitled to a gift from the person so saluted.\n\n[R] Beltane is derived from two Gaelic words conjoined: \u201c_Paletein_,\u201d\nsignifying Pale\u2019s fire, and not _Baal\u2019s fire_, as some suppose. The\nstrange relic of Pagan idolatry which gave rise to this feast was no\ndoubt introduced into these countries, like many others of our more\nprominent superstitions, by the Druids. Pales (of whom we read in the\nheathenish mythologies) was the goddess of shepherds, and protectress\nof flocks. Her feast was always celebrated in the month of April, on\nwhich occasion no victim was killed, and nothing was offered but the\nfruits of the earth. The shepherds purified their flocks with the\nsmoke of sulphur, juniper, boxwood, rosemary, &c. They then made a\nlarge fire, round which they danced, and offered to the goddess milk,\ncheese, eggs, &c., holding their faces towards the east, and uttering\nejaculations peculiar to the occasion. Those interesting relics of the\nreligious opinions of our ancestors, until of late, remained pretty\nentire in some parts of the Highlands. But they have now, however,\ndeclined into those childish ceremonies above described.\n\n[S] Mr. Pennant, in his Tour, vol. i. p. 111, notices the ceremony of\nthe Bolteen or Beltane--the cakes baken with scrupulous attention to\nrites and forms, and dedicated to birds of prey, &c., or the being\nwhose agents they were, to propitiate them to spare the lives of\nthemselves and flocks. Within the last twenty or thirty years these\nobservances have almost wholly disappeared. But the author himself is\nold enough to have reeled his bannock, and dived, by the foregoing\nspells, into the secrets of futurity.\n\n[T] Let not the Highland reader be led to view this description of a\nHighland funeral as casting any reflection on his moral or religious\ncharacter. Whatever ill-timed levity he may manifest on such an\noccasion, the blame must be ascribed, not to him, but to that _evil\nspirit_, the usquebaugh, the real cause of it. We cannot, however, help\nregretting, that either the ill-judged hospitality of the entertainer,\nor his own social habits, should expose him on this particular occasion\nto the unruly influence of his demoralising countryman; and we are glad\nto add, that of late years much improvement has been effected in the\nconduct of Highland funerals--sobriety and decorum being much more the\norder of the day.\n\n[U] A fall sustained by a person, while supporting the body, is ominous\nof the person\u2019s speedy death. It may also be remarked, that it is\nconsidered very imprudent to look at a passing funeral from the door of\na house, or from the window having a _stone lintel_.\n\n\n\n\nTRANSCRIBER\u2019S NOTES:\n\n\n  Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.\n\n  Superscripted text is preceded by a carat character: M^cGLASHAN.\n\n  Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.\n\n  Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.\n\n  Archaic or variant spelling has been retained.","title":"The popular superstitions and festive amusements of the Highlanders of Scotland","tradition":"myth-cosmogony","translated_text":null,"word_count":49453}