{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_73519/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_73519","id":"gutenberg_73519","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/73519","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Essays, Letters & Speeches","Category: Religion/Spirituality","Methodist Church","Theology -- Early works to 1800","Theology -- History -- 18th century"],"text":"The Works of the\n Rev. John Wesley, M.A.\n\n\n\n\n \u250c\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2510\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Transcriber\u2019s Notes \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Punctuation has been standardized. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Most of the non-common abbreviations used to save space in \u2502\n \u2502 printing have been expanded to the non-abbreviated form for \u2502\n \u2502 easier reading. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 The author has used an asterisk (*) to indicate passages he \u2502\n \u2502 considers most worthy of attention. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 The text may show quotations within quotations, all set \u2502\n \u2502 off by similar quote marks. The inner quotations have been \u2502\n \u2502 changed to alternate quote marks for improved readability. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Characters in small caps have been replaced by all caps. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Non-printable characteristics have been given the following \u2502\n \u2502 Italic text: --> _text_ \u2502\n \u2502 emphasized text within \u2502\n \u2502 italics --> |text| \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 This book was written in a period when many words had \u2502\n \u2502 not become standardized in their spelling. Words may have \u2502\n \u2502 multiple spelling variations or inconsistent hyphenation in \u2502\n \u2502 the text. These have been left unchanged unless indicated \u2502\n \u2502 with a Transcriber\u2019s Note. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 The symbol \u2018\u2021\u2019 indicates the description in parenthesis has \u2502\n \u2502 been added to an illustration. This may be needed if there \u2502\n \u2502 is no caption or if the caption does not describe the image \u2502\n \u2502 adequately. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Footnotes are identified in the text with a superscript \u2502\n \u2502 number and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which \u2502\n \u2502 they appear. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Transcriber\u2019s Notes are used when making corrections to the \u2502\n \u2502 text or to provide additional information for the modern \u2502\n \u2502 reader. These notes are identified by \u2666\u2660\u2665\u2663 symbols in the \u2502\n \u2502 text and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which \u2502\n \u2502 they appear. \u2502\n \u2514\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2518\n\n\n\n\n THE\n WORKS\n OF THE\n Rev. JOHN WESLEY, M.A.\n\n Late Fellow of _Lincoln-College_, OXFORD.\n\n\n VOLUME X.\n\n\n BRISTOL:\n Printed by WILLIAM PINE, in _Wine-Street_.\n MDCCLXXII.\n\n\n\n\n THE\n CONTENTS\n Of the TENTH VOLUME.\n\n\n _Serious thoughts occasioned by the late Earthquake at Lisbon._\n\n _A Collection of Forms of Prayer for every Day in the week._\n\n _A Collection of Prayers for Families._\n\n _An Address to the Clergy._\n\n _A short Account of the Death of_ Thomas Hitchens.\n\n _A short Account of the Death of_ Samuel Hitchens.\n\n _A short Account of the Life and Death of_ Nathanael Othen.\n\n _Some Account of the Life and Death of_ Matthew Lee.\n\n _Extract of the Life and Death of Mr._ John Janeway.\n\n _Extract of the Life and Death of Mr._ Thomas Haliburton.\n\n\n Illustration: (\u2021 decoration)\n\n\n\n\n SERIOUS THOUGHTS\n Occasioned by the late\n Earthquake at _LISBON_.\n\n _Tua res agitur, paries quum proximus ardet._\n\n\nTHINKING men generally allow that the greater part of modern Christians\nare not more virtuous than the antient Heathens: perhaps less so;\nsince public spirit, love of our country, generous honesty and simple\ntruth, are scarce any where to be found. On the contrary, covetousness,\nambition, various injustice, luxury and falshood in every kind, have\ninfected every rank and denomination of people, the clergy themselves\nnot excepted. Now they who believe there is a God are apt to believe,\nhe is not well pleased with this. Nay, they think, he has intimated it\nvery plainly, in many parts of the Christian world. How many hundred\nthousand men have been swept away by war, in _Europe_ only, within half\na century? How many thousands, within little more than this, hath the\nearth opened her mouth and swallowed up? Numbers sunk at _Port-Royal_,\nand rose no more. Many thousands went quick into the pit at _Lima_.\nThe whole city of _Catanea_ in _Sicily_, and every inhabitant of it\nperished together. Nothing but heaps of ashes and cinders shew where\nit stood. Not so much as one _Lot_ escaped out of _Sodom_!\n\nAnd what shall we say of the late accounts from _Portugal_? That some\nthousand houses, and many thousand persons are no more! That a fair\ncity is now in ruinous heaps. Is there indeed a God that judges the\nworld? And is he now making inquisition for blood? If so, it is not\nsurprizing, he should begin there, where so much blood has been poured\non the ground like water? Where so many brave men have been murdered,\nin the most base and cowardly, as well as barbarous manner, almost\nevery day, as well as every night, while none regarded or laid it to\nthe heart. \u201cLet them hunt and destroy the precious life, so we may\nsecure our stores\u00b9 of gold and precious stones.\u201d How long has their\nblood been crying from the earth? Yea, how long has that bloody _house\nof mercy_\u00b2, the scandal not only of all religion, but even of human\nnature, stood to insult both heaven and earth? _And shall I not visit\nfor these things, saith the Lord? Shall not my soul be avenged of such\na city as this?_\n\n \u00b9 Merchants who have lived in _Portugal_ inform us, that the\n king had a large building filled with diamonds: and more\n gold stored up, coined and uncoined, than all the other\n princes of _Europe_ together.\n\n \u00b2 The title which the _Inquisition_ of Portugal (if not in\n other countries also) takes to itself.\n\nIt has been the opinion of many, that even this nation has not been\nwithout some marks of God\u2019s displeasure. Has not war been let loose\neven within our own land, so that _London_ itself felt the alarm? Has\nnot a pestilential sickness broken in upon our cattle, and in many\nparts, left not one of them alive? And although the earth does not yet\nopen in _England_ or _Ireland_, has it not shook, and reeled to and fro\nlike a drunken man? And that not in one or two places only, but almost\nfrom one end of the kingdom to the other?\n\nPerhaps one might ask, Was there nothing uncommon, nothing more than\nis usual at this season of the year, in the rains, the hail, the\nwinds, the thunder and lightning, which we have lately heard and seen?\nParticularly, in the storm which was the same day and hour, that they\nwere playing off _Macbeth_\u2019s thunder and lightning at the theatre. One\nwould almost think they designed this (inasmuch as the entertainment\ncontinued, notwithstanding all the artillery of heaven) as a formal\nanswer to that question, \u201cCanst thou thunder with an arm like him?\u201d\n\nWhat shall we say to the affair of _\u2666Whitson Cliffs_? Of which were\nit not for the unparalleled stupidity of the _English_, all _England_\nwould have rang long ago, from one sea to another. And yet seven miles\nfrom the place, they knew little more of it in _May_ last, than if it\nhad happened in _China_ or _Japan_.\n\n \u2666 \u201cWhiston\u201d replaced with \u201cWhitson\u201d per Errata\n\nThe fact (of the truth of which any who will be at the pains of\nenquiring, may soon be satisfied) is this. On _Tuesday, March 25th_\nlast, being the week before _Easter_, many persons heard a great noise\nnear a ridge of mountains called _Black Hamilton_ in _Yorkshire_. It\nwas observed chiefly on the south west side of the mountain, about a\nmile from the course where the _Hamilton_ races are run, near a ledge\nof rocks, commonly called _\u2666Whitson Cliffs_, two miles from _Sutton_,\nand about five from _Thirsk_.\n\nThe same noise was heard on _Wednesday_ by all who went that way. On\n_Thursday_, about seven in the morning, _Edward Abbot_, weaver, and\n_Adam Bosomworth_, bleacher, both of _Sutton_, riding under _\u2666Whitson\nCliffs_, heard a _roaring_ (so they termed it) like many cannons, or\nloud and rolling thunder. It seemed to come from the cliffs: looking\nup to which, they saw a large body of stone, four or five yards broad,\nsplit and fly off from the very top of the rock. They thought it\nstrange, but rode on. Between ten and eleven, a larger piece of the\nrock, about fifteen yards thick, thirty high, and between sixty and\nseventy broad, was torn off and thrown into the valley.\n\nAbout seven in the evening, one who was riding by, observed the ground\nto shake exceedingly, and soon after several large stones or rocks of\nsome tons weight each, rose out of the ground. Others were thrown on\none side, others turned upside down, and many rolled over and over.\nBeing a little surprized, and not very curious, he hasted on his way.\n\nOn _Friday_ and _Saturday_ the ground continued to shake, and the rocks\nto roll over one another. The earth also clave asunder in very many\nplaces, and continued so to do till _Sunday_ morning.\n\nBeing at _Osmotherly_, seven miles from the cliffs, on _Monday, June 1_,\nand finding _Edward Abbot_ there, I desired him the next morning to\nshew me the way thither. I walked, crept and climbed round and over\ngreat part of the ruins. I could not perceive by any sign, that there\nwas ever any cavity in the rock at all; but one part of the solid stone\nis cleft from the rest, in a perpendicular line, and as smooth as if\ncut with instruments. Nor is it barely thrown down, but split into many\nhundred pieces, some of which lie four or five hundred yards from the\nmain rock.\n\nThe ground nearest the cliff, is not raised, but sunk considerably\nbeneath the level. But at some distance it is raised in a ridge of\neight or ten yards high, twelve or fifteen broad, and near an hundred\nlong. Adjoining to this lies an oval piece of ground thirty or forty\nyards in diameter, which has been removed whole as it is, from beneath\nthe cliff, without the least fissure, with all its load of rocks,\nsome of which were as large as the hull of a small ship. At a little\ndistance is a second piece of ground, forty or fifty yards across,\nwhich has been also transplanted intire, with rocks of various sizes\nupon it, and a tree growing out of one of them. By the removal of one\nor both of these, I suppose the hollow near the cliff was made.\n\nAll round them lay stones and rocks, great and small, some on the\nsurface of the earth, some half sunk into it, some almost covered,\nin variety of positions. Between these the ground was cleft asunder,\nin a thousand places. Some of the apertures were nearly closed again,\nsome gaping as at first. Between thirty and forty acres of land, as is\ncommonly supposed, (tho\u2019 some reckon above sixty) are in this condition.\n\nOn the skirts of these, I observed in abundance of places, the green\nturf (for it was pasture land) as it were pared off, two or three\ninches thick, and wrapt round like sheets of lead. A little farther it\nwas not cleft or broken at all, but raised in ridges, five or six foot\nlong, exactly resembling the graves in a church-yard. Of these there is\na vast number.\n\nThat part of the cliff from which the rest is torn, lies so high\nand is now of so bright a colour, that it is plainly visible to all\nthe country round, even at the distance of several miles. We saw it\ndistinctly not only from the street in _Thirsk_, but for five or six\nmiles after, as we rode toward _York_. So we did likewise, in the great\nNorth road, between _Sandhutton_ and _Northallerton_.\n\nBut how may we account for this phenomenon? Was it effected by a merely\nnatural cause? If so, that cause must either have been fire, water, or\nair. It could not be fire; for then some mark of it must have appeared,\neither at the time, or after it. But no such mark does appear, nor ever\ndid: not so much as the least smoke, either when the first or second\nrock was removed, or in the whole space between _Tuesday_ and _Sunday_.\n\nIt could not be water; for no water issued out, when the one or the\nother rock was torn off. Nor had there been any rains for some time\nbefore. It was in that part of the country a remarkable dry season.\nNeither was there any cavity in that part of the rock, wherein a\nsufficient quantity of water might have lodged. On the contrary, it\nwas one, single, solid mass, which was evenly and smoothly cleft in\nsunder.\n\nThere remains no other natural cause assignable, but imprisoned air. I\nsay, _imprisoned_: for as to the fashionable opinion, that the exterior\nair is the grand agent in earthquakes, it is so senseless, unmechanical,\nunphilosophical a dream, as deserves not to be named, but to be\nexploded. But it is hard to conceive, how even imprisoned air could\nproduce such an effect. It might indeed shake, tear, raise or sink the\nearth, but how could it cleave a solid rock? Here was not room for a\nquantity of it, sufficient to do any thing of this nature; at least,\nunless it had been suddenly and violently expanded by fire, which\nwas not the case. Could a small quantity of air, without that violent\nexpansion, have torn so large a body of rock from the rest, to which it\nadhered in one solid mass? Could it have shivered this into pieces, and\nscattered several of those pieces, some hundred yards round? Could it\nhave transported those promontories of earth, with their incumbent load,\nand set them down unbroken, unchanged at a distance? Truly I am not\nso great a volunteer in faith, as to be able to believe this. He that\nsupposes this, must suppose air to be not only very strong, (which we\nallow) but a very wise agent; while it bore its charge with so great\ncaution, as not to hurt or dislocate any part of it.\n\nWhat then could be the cause? What indeed, but God, who arose to shake\nterribly the earth: who purposely chose such a place, where there is\nso great a concourse of nobility and gentry every year; and wrought in\nsuch a manner, that many might see it and fear, that all who travel one\nof the most frequented roads in _England_, might see it, almost whether\nthey would or no, for many miles together. It must likewise for many\nyears, maugre all the art of man, be a visible monument of his power.\nAll that ground being now so incumbered with rocks and stones, that it\ncannot be either ploughed or grazed. Nor can it well serve any use, but\nto tell all that see it, Who can stand before this great God?\n\nWho can account for the late motion in the waters? Not only that of\nthe sea, and rivers communicating therewith, but even that in canals,\nfishponds, cisterns, and all either large or small bodies of water? It\nwas particularly observed, that while the water itself was so violently\nagitated, neither did the earth shake at all, nor any of the vessels\nwhich contained that water. Was such a thing ever known or heard of\nbefore! I know not, but it was spoken of once, near eighteen hundred\nyears ago, in those remarkable words, \u201cThere shall be \u03c3\u03b5\u03b9\u03c3\u03bc\u03bf\u03af (not\nonly _earthquakes_, but various _concussions_ or _shakings_) in divers\nplaces.\u201d And so there have been in _Spain_, in _Portugal_, in _Italy_,\nin _Holland_, in _England_, in _Ireland_; and not improbably in many\nother places too, which we are not yet informed of. Yet it does not\nseem, that a concussion of this kind, has ever been known before, since\neither the same, or some other comet revolved so near the earth. For\nwe know of no other natural cause in the universe, which is adequate to\nsuch an effect. And that this is the real cause, we may very possibly\nbe convinced in a short time.\n\nBut alas! why should we not be convinced sooner, while that conviction\nmay avail, that it is not chance which governs the world? Why should\nwe not now, before _London_ is as _Lisbon_, _Lima_, or _Catanea_,\nacknowledge the hand of the Almighty, arising to maintain his own\ncause? Why, we have a general answer always ready, to screen us\nfrom any such conviction: \u201cAll these things are purely natural and\naccidental; the result of natural causes.\u201d But there are two objections\nto this answer: first, it is untrue; secondly, it is uncomfortable.\n\nFirst, If by affirming, \u201cAll this is purely natural,\u201d you mean, it\nis not providential, or that God has nothing to do with it, this is\nnot true, that is, supposing the bible to be true. For supposing this,\nyou may discant ever so long on the natural causes of murrain, winds,\nthunder, lightning, and yet you are altogether wide of the mark, you\nprove nothing at all, unless you can prove, that God never works in or\nby natural causes. But this you cannot prove, nay none can doubt of his\nso working, who allows the scripture to be of God. For this asserts in\nthe clearest and strongest terms, that _all things_ (in nature) _serve\nhim_: that (by or without a train of natural causes) he _sendeth his\nrain on the earth_, that he _bringeth the winds out of his treasures_,\nand _maketh a way for the lightning and the thunder_: in general,\nthat _fire and hail, snow and vapour, wind and storm fulfil his word_.\nTherefore allowing there are natural causes of all these, they are\nstill under the direction of the Lord of nature. Nay, what is nature\nitself but the art of God? Or God\u2019s method of acting in the material\nworld? True philosophy therefore ascribes all to God, and says in the\nbeautiful language of the wise and good man,\n\n Here, like a trumpet, loud and strong,\n _Thy_ thunder shakes our coast;\n While the red lightnings wave along,\n The banners of _thy host_.\n\nA second objection to your answer is, it is extremely uncomfortable.\nFor if things really be as you affirm, if all these afflictive\nincidents, entirely depend on the fortuitous concourse and agency of\nblind, material causes; what hope, what help, what resource is left,\nfor the poor sufferers by them? Should the murrain among the cattle\ncontinue a few years longer, and consequently produce scarcity or\nfamine; what will there be left for many of the poor to do, but to lie\ndown and die? If tainted air spread a pestilence over our land, where\nshall they fly for succour? They cannot resist either the one or other.\nThey cannot escape from them. And can they hope to appease\n\n _Illacrymabilem Plutona?_\n \u201cInexorable _Pluto_, king of shades?\u201d\n\nShall they intreat the famine or the pestilence to shew mercy? Alas,\nthey are as senseless as you suppose God to be.\n\nHowever, you who are men of fortune can shift tolerably well, in spite\nof these difficulties. Your money will undoubtedly procure you food\nas long as there is any in the kingdom. And if your physicians cannot\nsecure you from the epidemic disease, your coaches can carry you from\nthe place of infection. Be it so: but you are not out of all danger yet;\nunless you can drive faster than the wind. Are you sure of this? And\nare your horses literally swifter than the lightning? Can they leave\nthe panting storm behind? If not, what will you do when it overtakes\nyou? Try your eloquence on the whirlwind? Will it hear your voice?\nWill it regard either your money, or prayers, or tears? Call upon the\nlightning. Cry aloud. See whether _your_ voice will _divide the flames\nof fire_? O no! It hath no ears to hear. It devoureth and sheweth no\npity.\n\nBut this is not all. Here is a nearer enemy. The earth threatens to\nswallow you up. Where is your protection now? What defence do you find\nfrom thousands of gold and silver? You cannot fly; for you cannot quit\nthe earth, unless you will leave your dear body behind you. And while\nyou are on the earth, you know not where to flee to, neither where to\nflee from. You may buy intelligence, where the shock was yesterday, but\nnot where it will be to-morrow\u2015\u2015to-day. It comes! The roof trembles!\nThe beams crack. The ground rocks to and fro. Hoarse thunder resounds\nfrom the bowels of the earth. And all these are but the beginning of\nsorrows. Now what help? What wisdom can prevent? What strength resist\nthe blow? What money can purchase, I will not say, deliverance, but\nan hour\u2019s reprieve? Poor honourable fool, where are now thy titles?\nWealthy fool, where is now thy golden god? If any thing can help, it\nmust be prayer. But what wilt thou pray to? Not to the God of heaven:\nyou suppose him to have nothing to do with earthquakes. No: they\nproceed in a meerly natural way, either from the earth itself, or from\nincluded air, or from subterraneous fires on waters. If thou prayest\nthen (which perhaps you never did before) it must be to some of these.\nBegin. \u201cO earth, earth, earth, hear the voice of thy children. Hear,\nO air, water, fire!\u201d And will they hear? You know, it cannot be. How\ndeplorable then is his condition, who in such an hour has none else\nto flee to? How uncomfortable the supposition, which implies this, by\ndirect necessary consequence, namely, that all these things are the\npure result of meerly natural causes!\n\nBut supposing the earthquake which made such havock at _Lisbon_, should\nnever travel so far as _London_, is there nothing else which can reach\nus? What think you of a comet? Are we absolutely out of the reach of\nthis? You cannot say we are; seeing these move in all directions, and\nthrough every region of the universe. And would the approach of one\nof these amazing spheres, be of no importance to us? Especially in its\nreturn from the sun? When that immense body is (according to Sir _Isaac\nNewton_\u2019s calculation) heated two thousand times hotter than a red-hot\ncannon ball. The late ingenious and accurate Dr. _Halley_ (never yet\nsuspected of enthusiasm) fixes the return of the great comet in the\nyear one thousand seven hundred and fifty eight: and he observes that\nthe last time it revolved, it moved in the very same line which the\nearth describes in her annual course round the sun: but the earth was\non the other side of her orbit. Whereas in this revolution it will move\nnot only in the same line, but in the same part of that line wherein\nthe earth moves. And \u201cwho can tell (says that great man) what the\nconsequences of such a contact may be?\u201d\n\n\u201cWho can tell?\u201d Any man of common understanding, who knows the very\nfirst elements of astronomy. The immediate consequence of such a body\nof solid fire touching the earth must necessarily be, that it will set\nthe earth on fire, and burn it to a coal, if it do not likewise strike\nit out of its course; in which case (so far as we can judge) it must\ndrop down directly into the sun.\n\nBut what if this vast body is already on its way? If it is nearer than\nwe are aware of? What if these unusual, unprecedented motions of the\nwaters, be one effect of its near approach? We cannot be certain, that\nit will be visible to the inhabitants of our globe, till it has imbibed\nthe solar fire. But possibly we may see it sooner than we desire. We\nmay see it, not as _Milton_ speaks,\n\n From its horrid hair\n Shake pestilence and war:\n\nBut ushering in far other calamities than these, and of more extensive\ninfluence. Probably it will be seen first, drawing nearer and nearer,\ntill it appears as another moon in magnitude, though not in colour,\nbeing of a deep firey red: then scorching and burning up all the\nproduce of the earth, drying away all clouds, and so cutting off the\nhope or possibility of any rain or dew; drying up every fountain,\nstream and river, causing all faces to gather blackness, and all men\u2019s\nhearts to fail. Then executing its grand commission on the globe itself,\nand causing the stars to fall from heaven.\u00b9 O who may abide when this\n\u2666is done? Who will then be able to stand?\n\n \u00b9 What security is there against all this, upon the _Infidel_\n hypothesis? But upon the _Christian_, there is abundant\n security: for the scripture prophecies are not yet fulfilled.\n\n \u2666 \u201cit\u201d replaced with \u201cis\u201d\n\n Quum mare, quum tellus, \u2666excelsaque regia c\u0153li\n Ardeat, & mundi moles operosa laboret?\n\n \u2666 \u201coperosa\u201d replaced with \u201cexcelsaque\u201d per Errata\n\nWhat shall we do? Do now, that none of these things may come upon\nus unawares? We are wisely and diligently providing for our defence\nagainst one enemy: with such a watchful wisdom and active diligence, as\nis a comfort to every honest _Englishman_. But why should we not shew\nthe same wisdom and diligence in providing against all our enemies? And\nif our own wisdom and strength be sufficient to defend us, let us not\nseek any further. Let us without delay recruit our forces and guard\nour coasts against the famine and murrain and pestilence; and still\nmore carefully against immoderate rains and winds, and lightnings and\nearthquakes and comets: that we may no longer be under any painful\napprehensions of any present or future danger, but may smile\n\n \u201cSecure amidst the jar of elements,\n The wreck of matter, and the crush of worlds!\u201d\n\nBut if our own wisdom and strength be not sufficient to defend us, let\nus not be ashamed to seek farther help. Let us even dare to own, we\nbelieve there is a God: nay, and not a lazy, indolent, epicurean deity,\nwho sits at ease upon the circle of the heavens, and neither knows nor\ncares what is done below: but one who as he created heaven and earth,\nand all the armies of them, as he sustains them all by the word of his\npower, so cannot neglect the work of his own hands. With pleasure we\nown there is such a God, whose eye pervades the whole sphere of created\nbeings, who knoweth the number of the stars, and calleth them all by\ntheir names: a God whose wisdom is as the great abyss, deep and wide\nas eternity:\n\n \u201cWho high in power, in the beginning said,\n Let sea, and air, and earth, and heaven be made,\n And it was so. And when he shall ordain\n In other sort, hath but to speak again,\n And they shall be no more.\u201d\n\nYet more: whose mercy riseth above the heavens, and his faithfulness\nabove the clouds: who is loving to every man, and his mercy over all\nhis works: let us secure him on our side. Let us make this wise, this\npowerful, this gracious God our friend! Then need we not fear, though\nthe earth be moved and the hills be carried into the midst of the sea:\nno, not though the heavens being on fire are dissolved, and the very\nelements melt with fervent heat. It is enough that the Lord of hosts\nis with us, the God of love is our everlasting refuge.\n\nBut how shall we secure the favour of this great God? How, but by\nworshipping him in spirit and in truth: by uniformly imitating him\nwe worship, in all his imitable perfections; without which the most\naccurate systems of opinions, all external modes of religion, are idle\ncobwebs of the brain, dull farce and empty show. Now God is love. Love\nGod then, and you are a true worshipper. Love mankind, and God is your\nGod, your Father, and your friend. But see that you deceive not your\nown soul; for this is not a point of small importance. And by this you\nmay know; if you love God, then you are happy in God. If you love God,\nriches, honours, and the pleasures of sense are no more to you than\nbubbles on the water: you look on dress and equipage as the tossels of\na fool\u2019s cap, diversions, as the bells on a fool\u2019s coat. If you love\nGod, God is in all your thoughts, and your whole life is a sacrifice\nto him. And if you love mankind, it is your one design, desire and\nendeavour to spread virtue and happiness all around you; to lessen the\npresent sorrows, and increase the joys of every child of man; and if it\nbe possible, to bring them with you to the rivers of pleasure that are\nat God\u2019s right-hand for evermore.\n\nBut where shall you find one who answers this happy and amiable\ncharacter? Wherever you find a _Christian_: for this, and this alone\nis real, genuine _Christianity_. Surely you did not imagine, that\n_Christianity_ was no more than such a system of _opinions_ as is\nvulgarly called _faith_? Or a strict and regular attendance on any\nkind of _external worship_? O no! Were this all that it implied,\nChristianity were indeed a poor, empty, shallow thing: such as none\nbut half-thinkers could admire, and all who think freely and generously\nmust despise. But this is not the case: the spirit above described,\nthis alone, is Christianity. And if so, it is no wonder, that even\na celebrated unbeliever should make that frank declaration, \u201cWell,\nafter all, these Christian dogs, are the happiest fellows upon earth!\u201d\nIndeed they are. Nay, we may say more. They are the only happy men upon\nearth: and that tho\u2019 we should have no regard at all to the particular\ncircumstances above-mentioned. Suppose there was no such thing as\na comet in the universe, or none that would ever approach the solar\nsystem; suppose there had never been an earthquake in the world, or\nthat we were assured there never would be another: yet what advantage\nhas a Christian (I mean always a real, scriptural Christian) above all\nother men upon earth?\n\nWhat advantage has he over _you_ in particular, if you do not believe\nthe Christian system? For suppose you have utterly driven away storms,\nlightnings, earthquakes, comets, yet there is another grim enemy at\nthe door; and you cannot drive him away, it is death. \u201cO _that death_\n(said a gentleman of large possessions, of good health, and a chearful\nnatural temper) I do not love to think of it! it comes in and spoils\nall.\u201d So it does indeed. It comes with its \u201cmiscreated front,\u201d and\nspoils all your mirth, diversions, pleasures! It turns all into the\nsilence of a tomb, into rottenness and dust. And many times it will\nnot stay till the trembling hand of old age beckons to it: but it leaps\nupon you, while you are in the dawn of life, in the bloom and strength\nof your years.\n\n \u201cThe morning flowers display their sweets,\n And gay their silken leaves unfold,\n Unmindful of the noon-tide heats,\n And fearless of the evening cold.\n Nipp\u2019d by the wind\u2019s unkindly blast,\n Parch\u2019d by the sun\u2019s directer ray\n The momentary glories waste,\n The short-liv\u2019d beauties die away.\u201d\n\nAnd where are you then? Does your soul disperse and dissolve into\ncommon air? Or does it share the fate of its former companion, and\nmoulder into dust! Or does it remain conscious of its own existence,\nin some distant, unknown world? \u2019Tis all unknown! A black, dreary,\nmelancholy scene! Clouds and darkness rest upon it.\n\nBut the case is far otherwise with a Christian. To him life and\nimmortality are brought to light. His eye pierces through the vale of\nthe shadow of death, and sees into the glories of eternity. His view\ndoes not terminate on that black line,\n\n \u201cThe verge \u2019twixt mortal and immortal being.\u201d\n\nBut extends beyond the bounds of time and place, to the house of God\neternal in the heavens. Hence he is so far from looking upon death as\nan enemy, that he longs to feel his welcome embrace. He groans (but\nthey are pleasing groans) to have mortality swallowed up of life.\n\nPerhaps you will say, \u201cBut this is all a dream. He is only in a fool\u2019s\nparadise?\u201d Supposing he be, it is a pleasing dream.\n\n _Maneat mentis gratissimus error!_\n\nIf he is only in a fool\u2019s paradise, yet it is a paradise, while you are\nwandering in a wide, weary, barren world. Be it folly: his folly gives\nhim that present happiness, which all your wisdom cannot find. So that\nhe may now turn tables upon you and say,\n\n \u201cWhoe\u2019er can ease by folly get,\n With safety may despise\n The wretched, unenjoying wit,\n The miserable wise.\n\nSuch unspeakable advantage (even if there is none beyond death) has a\nChristian over an Infidel! It is true, he has given up some pleasures\nbefore he could attain to this. But what pleasures? That of eating\ntill he is sick: till he weakens a strong, or quite destroys a weak\nconstitution. He has given up the pleasure of drinking a man into a\nbeast, and that of ranging from one worthless creature to another,\ntill he brings a canker upon his estate, and perhaps rottenness into\nhis bones. But in lieu of these, he has now (whatever may be hereafter)\na continual serenity of mind, a constant evenness and composure of\ntemper, a peace which passeth all understanding. He has learnt in every\nstate wherein he is, therewith to be content: nay, to give thanks,\nas being clearly persuaded, it is better for him than any other. He\nfeels continual gratitude to his Supreme Benefactor, Father of Spirits,\nParent of Good; and tender, disinterested benevolence to all the\nchildren of this common Father. May the Father of _your_ spirit, and\nthe Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, make _you_ such a Christian! May\nhe work in _your_ soul a divine conviction of things not discerned by\neyes of flesh and blood! May he give you to see him that is invisible,\nand to taste of the powers of the world to come; may he fill you with\nall peace and joy in believing, that you may be happy in life, in death,\nin eternity!\n\n\n\n\n A COLLECTION OF\n FORMS of PRAYER,\n For every day in the week.\n\n First printed in the year 1733.\n\n\n SUNDAY MORNING.\n\nALMIGHTY God, Father of all mercies, I thy unworthy servant desire to\npresent myself, with all humility, before thee, to offer my morning\nsacrifice of love and thanksgiving! Glory be to thee, O most adorable\nFather, who after thou hadst finished the work of creation, enteredst\ninto thy eternal rest. Glory be to thee, O holy _Jesus_, who having\nthro\u2019 the eternal Spirit offered thy self a full, perfect, and\nsufficient sacrifice for the sins of the whole world, didst rise again\nthe third day from the dead, and hadst all power given thee both in\nheaven and on earth. Glory be to thee, O blessed Spirit, who proceeding\nfrom the Father and the Son, didst come down in fiery tongues on the\napostles on the first day of the week, and didst enable them to preach\nthe glad tidings of salvation to a sinful world, and hast ever since\nbeen moving on the faces of men\u2019s souls, as thou didst once on the face\nof the great deep, bringing them out of that dark chaos in which they\nwere involved. Glory be to thee, O holy, undivided Trinity, for jointly\nconcurring in the great work of our redemption, and restoring us again\nto the glorious liberty of the sons of God. Glory be to thee, who\nin compassion to human weakness, hast appointed a solemn day for the\nremembrance of thy inestimable benefits. O let me ever esteem it my\nprivilege and happiness, to have a day set apart for the concerns of my\nsoul, a day free from distractions, disengaged from the world, wherein\nI have nothing to do but to praise and love thee. O let it ever be to\nme a day sacred to divine love, a day of heavenly rest and refreshment.\n\nLet thy holy Spirit, who on the first day of the week descended in\nmiraculous gifts on thy apostles, descend on me thy unworthy servant,\nthat I may be always _in the spirit on the Lord\u2019s day_. Let his blessed\ninspiration prevent and assist me in all the duties of this thy sacred\nday, that my wandring thoughts may all be fixed on thee, my tumultuous\naffections composed, and my flat and cold desires quickned into fervent\nlongings and thirstings after thee. O let me join in the prayers and\npraises of thy church with ardent and heavenly affection, hear thy word\nwith earnest attention and a fixed resolution to obey it. And when I\napproach thy altar, pour into my heart humility, faith, hope, love, and\nall those holy dispositions, which become the solemn remembrance of a\ncrucified Saviour. Let me employ this whole day to the ends for which\nit was ordained, in works of necessity and mercy, in prayer, praise,\nand meditation; and _let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of\nmy heart be always acceptable in thy sight_.\n\nI know, O Lord that thou hast commanded me, and therefore it is my duty,\nto love thee with all my heart, and with all my strength. I know thou\nart infinitely holy and overflowing in all perfection, and therefore it\nis my duty so to love thee.\n\nI know thou hast created me, and that I have neither being nor blessing\nbut what is the effect of thy power and goodness.\n\nI know thou art the end for which I was created, and that I can expect\nno happiness but in thee.\n\nI know that in love to me, being lost in sin, thou didst send thy only\nSon, and that he being the Lord of glory, did humble himself to the\ndeath upon the cross, that I might be raised to glory.\n\nI know thou hast provided me with all necessary helps for carrying me\nthrough this life to that eternal glory, and this out of the excess of\nthy pure mercy to me, unworthy of all mercies.\n\nI know thou hast promised to be thyself my _exceeding great reward_.\nThough it is thou alone who thyself _workest in me, both to will and to\ndo, of thy good pleasure_.\n\nUpon these and many other titles, I confess it is my duty, to love thee\nmy God, with all my heart. Give thy strength unto thy servant, that\nthy love may fill my heart, and be the motive of all the use I make\nof my understanding, my affections, my senses, my health, my time, and\nwhatever other talents I have received from thee. Let this, O God, rule\nmy heart, without a rival: let it dispose all my thoughts, words, and\nworks; and thus only can I fulfil my duty and thy command, of loving\nthee _with all my heart, and mind, and soul, and strength_.\n\nO thou infinite goodness, confirm thy past mercies to me, by enabling\nme for what remains of my life, to be more faithful than I have\nhitherto been, to this thy great command. For the time I have yet to\nsojourn upon earth, O let me fulfil this great duty. Permit me not to\nbe in any delusion here: let me not trust in words, or sighs, or tears,\nbut love thee even as thou hast commanded. Let me feel, and then I\nshall know what it is, to love thee with all my heart.\n\nO merciful God, whatsoever thou deniest me, deny me not this love.\nSave me from the idolatry _of loving the world, or any of the things\nof the world_. Let me never love any creature, but for thy sake, and in\nsubordination to thy love. Take thou the full possession of my heart,\nraise there thy throne, and command there, as thou dost in heaven.\nBeing created by thee, let me live to thee; being created for thee, let\nme ever act for thy glory; being redeemed by thee, let me render unto\nthee what is thine, and let my spirit ever cleave to thee alone!\n\nLet the prayers and sacrifices of thy holy church offered unto\nthee this day, be graciously accepted; _cloath thy priests with\nrighteousness, and pardon all thy people who are not prepared\naccording to the preparation of the sanctuary_. Prosper all those who\nare sincerely engaged in propagating or promoting thy faith and love\n(\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9: _Give thy Son the Heathen for his inheritance, and the utmost\nparts of the earth for his possession_: that from the rising up of\nthe sun unto the going down of the same, thy name may be great among\nthe Gentiles. Enable us of this nation, and especially those whom thou\nhast set over us in church and state, in our several stations, to serve\nthee in all holiness, and to _know the love of Christ which passeth\nknowledge_. Continue to us the means of grace, and grant we may never\nprovoke thee by our non-improvement to deprive us of them. Pour down\nthy blessing upon our universities, that they may ever promote true\nreligion and sound learning. Shew mercy, O Lord, to my father and\nmother, my brothers and sisters, to all my friends (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 relations\nand enemies, and to all that are in affliction. Let thy fatherly hand\nbe over them, and thy holy Spirit ever with them; that submitting\nthemselves entirely to thy will, and directing all their thoughts,\nwords and works to thy glory, they and those that are already dead\nin the Lord, may at length enjoy thee, in the glories of thy kingdom,\nthrough _Jesus Christ_ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and\nthe Holy Ghost, one God, blessed for ever.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particular persons you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SUNDAY EVENING.\n\n _General questions which a serious Christian may propose to\n himself, before he begins his evening devotions._\n\n1. With what degree of attention and fervour did I use my morning\nprayers, public or private?\n\n2. Have I done any thing without a present, or at least a previous\nperception of its direct, or remote tendency to the glory of God?\n\n3. Did I in the morning consider, what particular virtue I was to\nexercise, and what business I had to do in the day?\n\n4. Have I been zealous to undertake, and active in doing what good I\ncould?\n\n5. Have I interested myself any farther in the affairs of others, than\ncharity required?\n\n6. Have I, before I visited, or was visited, considered how I might\nthereby give or receive improvement?\n\n7. Have I mentioned any failing or fault of any man, when it was not\nnecessary for the good of another?\n\n8. Have I \u2666unnecessarily grieved any one by word or deed?\n\n \u2666 \u201cnecessarily\u201d replaced with \u201cunnecessarily\u201d per Errata\n\n9. Have I before, or in every action considered, how it might be a\nmeans of improving in the virtue of the day?\n\n\n _Particular questions relative to the love of GOD_.\n\n1. Have I set apart some of this day, to think upon his perfections and\nmercies?\n\n2. Have I laboured to make this day, a day of heavenly rest, sacred to\ndivine love?\n\n3. Have I employed those parts of it in works of necessity and mercy,\nwhich were not employed in prayer, reading, and meditation?\n\nO MY Father, my God, I am in thy hand; and may I rejoice above all\nthings in being so: do with me what seemeth good in thy sight: only let\nme love thee with all my mind, soul, and strength.\n\nI magnify thee for granting me to be born in thy church, and of\nreligious parents; for washing me in thy baptism, and instructing me in\nthy doctrine of truth and holiness; for sustaining me by thy gracious\nprovidence, and guiding me by thy blessed Spirit; for admitting me,\nwith the rest of my Christian brethren, to wait on thee at thy public\nworship: and for so often feeding my soul with thy most precious body\nand blood, those pledges of love, and sure conveyances of strength and\ncomfort. O be gracious unto all of us, whom thou hast this day [_or\nat any time_] admitted to thy holy table. Strengthen our hearts in thy\nways against all our temptations, and make us _more than conquerors_ in\nthy love.\n\nO my Father, my God, deliver me, I beseech thee, from all violent\npassions: I know how greatly obstructive these are, both of the\nknowledge and love of thee; O let none of them find a way into my\nheart, but let me ever possess my soul in meekness. O my God, I desire\nto fear them more than death; let me not serve these cruel tyrants; but\ndo thou reign in my breast; let me ever be thy servant and love thee\nwith all my heart.\n\nDeliver me, O God, from too intense an application to even necessary\nbusiness. I know how this dissipates my thoughts from the one end of\nall my business, and impairs that lively perception I would ever retain\nof thee standing at my right-hand. I know the narrowness of my heart,\nand that an eager attention to earthly things leaves it no room for the\nthings of heaven. O teach me to go through all my employments with so\ntruly disengaged a heart, that I may still see thee in all things, and\nsee thee therein as continually looking upon me, and searching my reins;\nand that I may never impair that liberty of spirit, which is necessary\nfor the love of thee.\n\nDeliver me, O God, from a slothful mind, from all lukewarmness, and\nall dejection of spirit: I know these cannot but deaden my love to\nthee; mercifully free my heart from them, and give me a lively, zealous,\nactive and chearful spirit; that I may vigorously perform whatever thou\ncommandest, thankfully suffer whatever thou chusest for me, and be ever\nardent to obey in all things thy holy love.\n\nDeliver me, O God, from all idolatrous love of any creature. I know\ninfinite numbers have been lost to thee, by loving those creatures\nfor their own sake, which thou permittest, nay, even commandest to\nlove subordinately to thee. Preserve me, I beseech thee, from all such\nblind affection: be thou a guard to all my desires, that they fix on\nno creature any farther than the love of it tends to build me up in\nthe love of thee. Thou requirest me to love thee with all my heart:\nUndertake for me, I beseech thee, and be thou my security, that I may\nnever open my heart to any thing, but out of love to thee.\n\nAbove all, deliver me, O my God, from all idolatrous self-love. I know,\nO God (blessed be thy infinite mercy for giving me this knowledge)\nthat this is the root of all evil. I know, thou madest me, not to do\nmy own will but thine. I know, the very corruption of the devil is, the\nhaving a will contrary to thine. O be thou my helper against this most\ndangerous of all idols, that I may both discern all its subtleties,\nand withstand all its force. O thou who hast commanded me to renounce\nmyself, give me strength, and I will obey thy command. My choice and\ndesire is, to love myself, as all other creatures, in and for thee. O\nlet thy almighty arm so stablish, strengthen and settle me, that thou\nmayst ever be the ground and pillar of all my love.\n\nBy this love of thee, my God, may my soul, be fixed against its natural\ninconstancy: by this may it be reduced to an entire indifference as to\nall things else, and simply desire what is pleasing in thy sight. May\nthis holy flame ever warm my breast, that I may serve thee with all my\nmight; and let it consume in my heart all selfish desires that I may in\nall things regard, not myself but thee.\n\nO my God, let thy glorious name be duly honoured and loved by all the\ncreatures which thou hast made. Let thy infinite goodness and greatness\nbe ever adored by all angels and men. May thy church, the Catholic\nseminary of divine love, be protected from all the powers of darkness.\nO vouchsafe to all, who call themselves by thy name, one short glimpse\nof thy goodness. May they once taste and see how gracious thou art,\nthat all things else may be tasteless to them; that their desires\nmay be always flying up towards thee, that they may render thee love,\nand praise, and obedience pure and chearful, constant and zealous,\nuniversal and uniform, like that the holy angels render thee in heaven.\n\nSend forth thy blessed Spirit into the midst of these sinful nations,\nand make us a holy people: stir up the heart of our sovereign, of\nthe royal family, of the clergy, the nobility, and of all whom thou\nhast set over us, that they may be happy instruments in thy hand,\nof promoting this good work: be gracious to the universities, to the\ngentry and commons of this land, and comfort all that are in affliction;\nlet the trial of their faith work patience in them, and perfect them in\nhope and love (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015).\u00b9\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particular persons you would pray for.\n\nBless my father, &c. my friends and relations, and all that belong\nto this family; all that have been instrumental to my good, by their\nassistance, advice, example, or writing, and all that do not pray for\nthemselves.\n\nChange the hearts of mine enemies, and give me grace to forgive them,\neven as thou for _Christ_\u2019s sake forgivest us.\n\nO _thou Shepherd of_ Israel, vouchsafe to receive me this night and\never, into thy protection; accept my poor services, and pardon the\nsinfulness of these and all my holy duties. O let it be thy good\npleasure shortly to put a period to sin and misery, to infirmity and\ndeath, to compleat the number of thine elect, and to hasten thy kingdom;\nthat we, and all that wait for thy salvation, may eternally love and\npraise thee, O God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost,\nthroughout all ages, world without end.\n\n_Our Father_, &c.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n MONDAY MORNING.\n\n _General questions, which may be used every morning._\n\nDid I think of God first and last?\n\nHave I examined myself how I behaved since last night\u2019s retirement?\n\nAm I resolved to do all the good I can this day, and to be diligent in\nthe business of my calling?\n\nO GOD, who art the giver of all good gifts, I thy unworthy servant,\nentirely desire to praise thy name for all the expressions of thy\nbounty towards me. Blessed be thy love for giving thy Son to die for\nour sins, for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory. Blessed be\nthy love for all the temporal benefits which thou hast with a liberal\nhand poured out upon me; for my health and strength, food and raiment,\nand all other necessaries with which thou hast provided thy sinful\nservant. I also bless thee that, after all my refusals of thy grace,\nthou still hast patience with me, hast preserved me this night, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9\nand given me yet another day, to renew and perfect my repentance.\nPardon, good Lord, all my former sins, and make me every day more\nzealous and diligent to improve every opportunity of building up my\nsoul in thy faith, and love, and obedience: make thyself always present\nto my mind, and let thy love fill and rule my soul, in all those places,\nand companies, and employments, to which thou callest me this day.\nIn all my passage through this world, suffer not my heart to be set\nupon it: but always fix my single eye, and my undivided affections on\n_the prize of my high calling_! This one thing let me do; let me so\npress toward this, as to make all things else minister unto it; and be\ncareful so to use them, as thereby to fit my soul for that pure bliss,\nwhich thou hast prepared for those that love thee!\n\n \u00b9 Here you may mention any particular mercy received.\n\nO thou, who art good and dost good, who extendest thy loving-kindness\nto all mankind, the work of thine hands, thine image, capable of\nknowing and loving thee eternally: suffer me to exclude none, O Lord,\nfrom my charity, who are the objects of thy mercy; but let me treat all\nmy neighbours with that tender love, which is due to thy servants and\nto thy children. Thou hast required this mark of my love to thee: O let\nno temptation expose me to ingratitude, or make me forfeit thy loving\nkindness which is better than life itself! But grant that I may assist\nall my brethren with my prayers, where I cannot reach them with actual\nservices. Make me zealous to embrace all occasions that may administer\nto their happiness, by assisting the needy, protecting the oppressed,\ninstructing the ignorant, confirming the wavering, exhorting the good,\nand reproving the wicked. Let me look upon the failings of my neighbour\nas if they were my own; that I may be grieved for them, that I may\nnever reveal them but when charity requires, and then with tenderness\nand compassion. Let thy love to me, O blessed Saviour, be the pattern\nof my love to him. Thou thoughtest nothing too dear to part with,\nto rescue me from eternal misery: O let me think nothing too dear to\npart with to set forward the everlasting good of my fellow Christians.\nThey are members of thy body; therefore I will cherish them. Thou hast\nredeemed them with an inestimable price; assisted by thy holy Spirit,\ntherefore I will endeavour to recover them from a state of destruction:\nthat thus adorning thy holy gospel, by doing good according to my power,\nI may at last be received into the endearments of thy eternal love, and\nsing everlasting praise unto the Lamb, that was slain and sitteth on\nthe throne for ever.\n\nExtend, I humbly beseech thee, thy mercy to all men, and let them\nbecome thy faithful servants. Let all Christians live up to the holy\nreligion they profess; especially these sinful nations. Be intreated\nfor us, good Lord; be glorified by our reformation, and not by our\ndestruction. _Turn thou us, and so shall we be turned_: O be favourable\nto thy people; give us grace to put a period to our provocations, and\ndo thou put a period to our punishment. Defend our church from schism,\nheresy, and sacrilege, and the king from all treasons and conspiracies.\nBless all bishops, priests and deacons, with apostolical graces,\nexemplary lives, and sound doctrine. Grant to the council wisdom\nfrom above, to all magistrates integrity and zeal, to the universities\nquietness and industry, and to the gentry and commons, pious and\npeaceable, and loyal hearts.\n\nPreserve my parents, my brothers and sisters, my friends and relations,\nand all mankind, in their souls and bodies (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. Forgive mine\nenemies, and in thy due time make them kindly affected towards me. Have\nmercy on all who are _afflicted in mind, body, or estate: give them\npatience under their sufferings, and a happy issue out of all their\nafflictions_. O grant that we, with those who are already dead in thy\nfaith and fear may together partake of a joyful resurrection, through\nhim who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God,\nworld without end.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particular persons you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n MONDAY EVENING.\n\n _Particular questions relating to the love of our neighbour._\n\n1. Have I thought any thing but my conscience, too dear to part with,\nto please or serve my neighbour?\n\n2. Have I rejoiced or grieved with him?\n\n3. Have I received his infirmities with pity, not with anger?\n\n4. Have I contradicted any one, either where I had no good end in view,\nor where there was no probability of convincing?\n\n5. Have I let him, I thought in the wrong (_in a \u2666trifle_) have the\nlast word?\n\n \u2666 \u201ctriflle\u201d replaced with \u201ctrifle\u201d\n\nMOST great and glorious Lord God, I desire to prostrate myself before\nthy divine Majesty, under a deep sense of my unworthiness, and with\nsorrow, and shame, and confusion of face, to confess I have, by my\nmanifold transgressions, deserved thy severest visitations, _Father,\nI have sinned against heaven, and am no more worthy to be called thy\nson_: O let thy paternal bowels yern upon me, and for _Jesus Christ_\u2019s\nsake graciously receive me. Accept my imperfect repentance, and send\nthy Spirit of adoption into my heart, that I may again be owned by\nthee, call thee Father, and share in the blessings of thy children.\n\nAdored be thy goodness for all the benefits thou hast already from time\nto time bestowed on me: for the good things of this life, and the hope\nof eternal happiness. Particularly, I offer to thee my humblest thanks\nfor thy preservation of me this day, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. If I have escaped any sin,\nit is the effect of thy restraining grace: if I have avoided any danger,\nit was thy hand directed me. To thy holy name be ascribed the honour\nand glory. O let the sense of all thy blessings have this effect upon\nme, to make me daily more diligent in devoting myself, all I am, and\nall I have to thy glory.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particular persons you would pray for.\n\nO my God, fill my soul with so entire a love of thee, that I may love\nnothing but for thy sake, and in subordination to thy love. Give me\ngrace to study thy knowledge daily, that the more I know thee, the more\nI may love thee. Create in me a zealous obedience to all thy commands,\na chearful patience under all thy chastisements, and a thankful\nresignation to all thy disposals. May I ever have awful thoughts of\nthee, never mention thy venerable name, unless on just, solemn, and\ndevout occasions; nor even then, without acts of adoration. O let it\nbe the one business of my life to glorify thee, by every thought of\nmy heart, by every word of my tongue, by every work of my hand; by\nprofessing thy truth, even to the death, if it should please thee\nto call me to it; and by engaging all men, as far as in me lies, to\nglorify and love thee.\n\nLet thy unwearied and tender love to me, make my love unwearied and\ntender to my neighbour, zealous to pray for, and to procure and promote\nhis health and safety, ease and happiness; and active to comfort,\nsuccour, and relieve all whom thy love and their own necessities\nrecommend to my charity. Make me peaceful and reconcilable; easy to\n\u2666forgive, and glad to return good for evil. Make me like thyself, all\nkindness and benignity, all goodness and gentleness, all meekness and\nlong-suffering. And, O thou lover of souls, raise in me a compassionate\nzeal to save the life, the eternal life of souls, and by affectionate\nand seasonable advice, exhortations and reproof, to reclaim the wicked,\nand win them to thy love.\n\n \u2666 \u201cgive\u201d replaced with \u201cforgive\u201d per Errata\n\nBe pleased, O Lord, to take me, with my father and mother, brethren and\nsisters, my friends and relations, and my enemies, into thy almighty\nprotection this night. Refresh me with such comfortable rest that I may\nrise more fit for thy service. Let me lie down with holy thoughts of\nthee, and when I awake let me be still present with thee.\n\nShew mercy to the whole world, O Father of all; let the gospel of thy\nSon run and be glorified throughout all the earth. Let it be made known\nto all infidels, and obeyed by all Christians. Be merciful to this\nchurch and nation; give unto thy bishops a discerning spirit, that\nthey may make choice of fit persons to serve in thy sacred ministry;\nand enable all who are ordained to any holy function, diligently\nto feed the flocks committed to their charge, instructing them in\nsaving knowledge, guiding them by their examples, praying for and\nblessing them, exercising spiritual discipline in thy church, and\nduly administring thy holy sacraments. Multiply thy blessings on our\nsovereign, on the royal family, and on the nobles, magistrates, gentry\nand commons of this land; that they may all, according to the several\ntalents they have received, be faithful instruments of thy glory.\nGive to our schools and universities, zeal, prudence and holiness,\nvisit in mercy all the children of affliction, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. Relieve their\nnecessities, lighten their burthens; give them a chearful submission\nto thy gracious will, and at length bring them and us, with those that\nalready rest from their labours, into the joy of our Lord, to whom with\nthee, O Father, and thee, O Holy Ghost, be all praise, now and for ever.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particular persons you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n TUESDAY MORNING.\n\nO ETERNAL and merciful Father, I give thee humble thanks (increase\nmy thankfulness, I beseech thee) for all the blessings, spiritual and\ntemporal, which in the riches of thy mercy thou hast poured down upon\nme. Lord, let me not live but to love thee, and to glorify thy name.\nParticularly I give thee most unfeigned thanks for preserving me from\nmy birth to this moment and for bringing me safe to the beginning of\nthis day (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 in which, and in all the days of my life, I beseech\nthee that all my thoughts, words, and works may tend to thy glory. Heal\nO Father of mercies, all my infirmities (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015), strengthen me against\nall my follies; forgive me all my sins (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015), and let them not cry\nlouder in thine ears for vengeance, than my prayers for mercy and\nforgiveness.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nO blessed Lord, enable me to fulfil thy commands, and command what thou\nwilt. O thou Saviour of all that trust in thee, do with me what seemeth\nbest in thine own eyes: only give me the mind which was in thee: let\nme learn of thee to be meek and lowly. Pour into me the whole Spirit of\nhumility; fill, I beseech thee, every part of my soul with it, and make\nit the constant, ruling habit of my mind, that all my other tempers\nmay arise from it: that I may have no thoughts, no desires, no designs,\nbut such as are the true fruit of a lowly spirit. Grant that I may\nthink of myself as I ought to think, that I may _know myself, even\nas I am known_. Herein may I exercise myself continually, when I lie\ndown and when I rise up, that I may always appear poor, and little,\nand mean, and base, and vile in mine own eyes. O convince me, that _I\nhave neither learned wisdom, nor have the knowledge of the holy_. Give\nme a lively sense that I am nothing, that I have nothing, and that I\ncan do nothing. Enable me to feel that I am all ignorance and error,\nweakness and uncleanness, sin and misery; that I am not worthy of the\nair I breathe, the earth I tread upon, or the sun that shines upon\nme. And let me be fully content when all other men think of me as I do\nof myself. O save me from either desiring or seeking the honour that\ncometh of men. Convince me that the words of praise, _when smoother\nthan oil_, then especially _are very swords_. Give me to dread them\nmore than the _poison of asps_, or _the pestilence that walketh in\ndarkness_. And when these cords of pride, these snares of death do\novertake me, suffer me not to take any pleasure in them, but enable\nme instantly to flee unto thee, O Lord, and to complain unto my God.\nLet all my bones cry out, _Thou art worthy to be praised; so shall I\nbe safe from mine enemies_.\n\nBless, O gracious Father, all the nations whom thou hast placed\nupon the earth, with the knowledge of thee, the only true God: But\nespecially bless thy holy catholic church, and fill it with truth and\ngrace; where it is corrupt, purge it; where it is in error, rectify it;\nwhere it is right, confirm it; where it is divided and rent asunder,\nheal the breaches thereof, O _thou holy one of_ Israel. Replenish all\nwhom thou hast called to \u2666any office therein, with truth of doctrine\nand innocency of life. Let their prayers be as precious incense in thy\nsight, that their cries and tears for the city of their God may not be\nin vain.\n\n \u2666 \u201can\u201d replaced with \u201cany\u201d per Errata\n\nO Lord, hear the king in the day of his trouble; let thy name, O God,\ndefend him. Grant him his heart\u2019s desire, and fulfil all his mind. Set\nhis heart firm upon thee, and upon other things only as they are in and\nfor thee. O defend him and his royal relations from thy holy heaven,\neven with the saving strength of thy right-hand.\n\nHave mercy upon this kingdom, and forgive the sins of this people: turn\nthee unto us, bless us, and cause thy face to shine on our desolations.\nInspire the nobles and magistrates with prudent zeal, the gentry and\ncommons, with humble loyalty. Pour down thy blessings on all seminaries\nof true religion and learning, that they may remember and answer\nthe end of their institution. Comfort all the sons and daughters of\naffliction, especially those who _suffer for righteousness sake_. Bless\nmy father and mother, my brethren and sisters, my friends and relations,\nand all that belong to this family. Forgive all who are mine enemies,\nand so reconcile them to me and thyself, that we all, together with\nthose that now sleep in thee, may awake to life everlasting, through\nthy merits and intercession, O blessed _Jesus_; to whom with the Father\nand the Holy Ghost, be ascribed by all creatures, _all honour, and\nmight, and wisdom, and glory, and blessing_.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n TUESDAY EVENING.\n\n _Particular questions relating to humility._\n\n1. Have I laboured to conform all my thoughts, words and actions to\nthese fundamental maxims; _I am nothing, I have nothing, I can do\nnothing_?\n\n2. Have I set apart some time this day, to think upon my infirmities,\nfollies and sins?\n\n3. Have I ascribed to myself any part of any good which God did by my\nhand?\n\n4. Have I said or done any thing, with a view to the praise of men?\n\n5. Have I desired the praise of men?\n\n6. Have I taken pleasure in it?\n\n7. Have I commended myself, or others, to their faces, unless for God\u2019s\nsake, and then with fear and trembling?\n\n8. Have I despised any one\u2019s advice?\n\n9. Have I, when I thought so, said, _I am in the wrong_?\n\n10. Have I received contempt for things indifferent, with meekness: For\ndoing my duty, with joy?\n\n11. Have I omitted justifying myself where the glory of God was not\nconcerned? Have I submitted to be thought in the wrong?\n\n12. Have I, when contemned, _first_ prayed God it might not discourage,\nor puff me up: _secondly_ that it might not be imputed to the contemner:\n_thirdly_ that it might heal my pride?\n\n13. Have I, without some particular good in view, mentioned the\ncontempt I had met with?\n\nI DESIRE to offer unto thee, O Lord, my evening sacrifice, the\nsacrifice of a contrite spirit. _Have mercy upon me, O God, after\nthy great goodness, and after the multitude of thy mercies do away\nmine offences._ Let thy unspeakable mercy free me from the sins I\nhave committed, and deliver me from the punishment I have deserved\n(\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. O save me from every work of darkness, and cleanse me _from\nall filthiness of flesh and spirit_, that, for the time to come, I may\nwith a pure heart and mind follow thee the only true God.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nO Lamb of God, who both by thy example and precept didst instruct\nus to be meek and humble, give me grace throughout my whole life, in\nevery thought, and word and work, to imitate thy meekness and humility.\nO mortify in me the whole body of pride: grant me to feel that I am\nnothing and have nothing, and that I deserve nothing but shame and\ncontempt, but misery and punishment. Grant, O Lord, that I may look\nfor nothing, claim nothing, and that I may go through all the scenes\nof life, not seeking my own glory, but looking wholly unto thee, and\nacting wholly for thee. Let me never speak any word that may tend to my\nown praise, unless the good of my neighbour require it. And even then\nlet me beware, lest to heal another, I wound my own soul. Let my ears\nand my heart be ever shut to the praise that cometh of men, and let me\n_refuse to hear the voice of the charmer, charm he never so sweetly_.\nGive me a dread of applause, in whatsoever form, and from whatsoever\ntongue it cometh. I know that _many stronger men have been slain by it_,\nand that it _leadeth to the chambers of death_. O deliver my soul from\nthis snare of hell; neither let me spread it for the feet of others.\nWhosoever perish thereby, be their blood upon their own head, and let\nnot my hand be upon them.\n\nO thou giver of every good and perfect gift, if at any time thou\npleasest to work by my hand, teach me to discern what is my own from\nwhat is another\u2019s, and to render unto thee the things that are thine.\nAs, all the good that is done on earth, thou dost it thyself, let me\never return to thee all the glory. Let me, as a pure chrystal, transmit\nall the light thou pourest upon me; but never claim as my own what is\nthy sole property.\n\nO thou who wert despised and rejected of men, when I am slighted by my\nfriends, disdained by my superiors, overborn, or ridiculed by my equals,\nor contemptuously treated by my inferiors, let me cry out with thy\nholy martyr\u00b9, \u201cIt is now that I begin to be a disciple of _Christ_.\u201d\nThen let me thankfully accept, and faithfully use the happy occasion\nof improving in thy meek and lowly Spirit. If for thy sake _men cast\nout my name as evil, let me rejoice, and be exceeding glad_. If for\nmy own infirmities, yet let me acknowledge thy goodness, in giving me\nthis medicine to heal my pride and vanity, and beg thy mercy for those\nphysicians of my soul, by whose hands it is administered to me.\n\n \u00b9 Ignatius.\n\n_Make me to remember thee on my bed, and think upon thee when I am\nwaking_: thou hast preserved me from all the dangers of the day past:\nthou hast been my support from my youth up until now: _under the shadow\nof thy wings_ let me pass this night in comfort and peace.\n\nO thou Creator and preserver of all mankind, have mercy upon all\nconditions of men: purge thy holy Catholic church from all heresy,\nschism, and superstition. Bless our sovereign in his person, in his\nactions, in his relations, and in his people. May it please thee\n_to endue his council, and all the nobility, with grace, wisdom, and\nunderstanding_; the magistrates with equity, courage and prudence; the\ngentry with industry and temperance; and all the commons of this land,\nwith increase of grace, and a holy, humble, thankful spirit.\n\nO pour upon our whole church, and especially upon the clergy thereof,\nthe continual dew of thy blessing. Grant to our universities peace and\npiety, and to all that labour under affliction, constant patience and\ntimely deliverance. Bless all my kindred, (especially my father and\nmother, my brothers and sisters) and all my friends and benefactors\n(\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. Turn the hearts of my enemies (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015); forgive them and me all\nour sins, and grant that we and all the members of thy holy church, may\nfind mercy in the dreadful day of judgment, through the mediation and\nsatisfaction of thy blessed Son _Jesus Christ_, to whom with thee and\nthe Holy Ghost the comforter, be all honour, praise and thanksgiving,\nin all the churches of the saints for ever.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n WEDNESDAY MORNING.\n\nO THOU who dwellest in the light which no man can approach, in whose\npresence there is no night, in the light of whose countenance there\nis perpetual day: I thy sinful servant, whom thou hast preserved this\nnight, who live by thy power this day, bless and glorify thee, for\nthe defence of thy almighty providence, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 and humbly pray thee,\nthat this, and all my days may be wholly devoted to thy service. Send\nthy Holy Spirit to be the guide of all my ways, and the sanctifier of\nmy soul and body. Save, defend, and build me up in thy fear and love;\ngive unto me the light of thy countenance, peace from heaven, and the\nsalvation of my soul in the day of the Lord Jesus.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nO Thou who art _the way, the truth, and the life_, thou hast said no\nman can follow thee, unless he renounce himself. I know, O Saviour,\nthat thou hast laid nothing upon us but what the design of thy\nlove made necessary for us. Thou sawest our disease, our idolatrous\nself-love, whereby we fell away from God, to be as gods ourselves,\nto please ourselves, and to do our own will. Lo, I come! May I ever\nrenounce my own, and do thy blessed will in all things!\n\nI know, O God, thou didst empty thyself of thy eternal glory, and\ntookest upon thee _the form of a servant_. Thou who madest all men to\nserve and please thee, didst not please thyself, but wast the servant\nof all. Thou O Lord of the hosts of heaven and earth, didst yield thy\ncheeks to be smitten, thy back to be scourged, and thy hands and feet\nto be nailed to an accursed tree. Thus didst thou, our great Master,\nrenounce thyself: And can we think much of renouncing our vile selves?\nMy Lord and my God, let me not presume to be above my master! Let it be\nthe one desire of my heart, to be as my master, to do not my own will,\nbut the will of him that sent me.\n\nO thou whose whole life did cry aloud, _Father, not mine, but thy will\nbe done_, give me grace to walk after thy pattern, to tread in thy\nsteps. Give me grace to _take up my cross daily_, to inure myself to\nbear hardship. Let me exercise myself unto godliness betimes, before\nthe rains descend and the floods beat upon me: Let me now practise\nwhat is not pleasing to flesh and blood, what is not agreeable to my\nsenses, appetites, and passions, that I may not hereafter renounce thee,\nfor fear of suffering for thee, but may stand firm in the _day of my\nvisitation_.\n\n*O thou, who didst not please thyself, altho\u2019 for thy _pleasure all\nthings are and were created_, let some portion of thy spirit descend\non me, that I may _deny myself and follow thee_. Strengthen my soul\nthat I may be temperate in all things; that I may never use any of thy\ncreatures but in order to some end thou commandest me to pursue, and in\nthat measure and manner which most conduces to it. Let me never gratify\nany desire, which has not thee for its ultimate object. Let me ever\nabstain from all pleasures, which do not prepare me for taking pleasure\nin thee, as knowing that all such war against the soul, and tend to\nalienate it from thee. O save me from ever indulging either _the desire\nof the flesh, the desire of the eye, or the pride of life_. Set a watch,\nO Lord, over my senses and appetites, my passions and understanding,\nthat I may resolutely deny them every gratification, which has no\ntendency to thy glory. O train me up in this good way, _that when I\nam old I may not depart from it_: that I may be at length of a truly\nmortified heart, _crucified unto the world, and the world crucified\nunto me_.\n\nHear also my prayers for all mankind, and guide their feet into the way\nof peace: for thy holy Catholic church, let her live by thy Spirit, and\nreign in thy glory. Remember that branch of it which thou hast planted\nin these kingdoms; especially the stewards of thy holy mysteries; give\nthem such zeal, and diligence, and wisdom, that they may save both\nthemselves and those that hear them.\n\nPreserve, O great King of heaven and earth, all Christian princes,\nespecially our sovereign and his family. Grant that his council, and\nall that are in authority under him, may truly and indifferently\nadminister justice. And to all thy people give thy heavenly grace, that\nthey may faithfully serve thee all the days of their life. Bless the\nuniversities with prudence, unity, and holiness. However the way of\ntruth be evil spoken of, may they walk in it even to the end. Whoever\nforget or blaspheme their high calling, may they ever remember, that\nthey are a _chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a\npeculiar people_: and accordingly, _shew forth the praise of him, who\nhath called them out of darkness into his marvellous light_.\n\nWith a propitious eye, O gracious Lord, behold all my enemies, and\nall that are in affliction; give them patience under their sufferings,\nand grant that they, and all the members of thy church, may find rest,\n_where the wicked cease from troubling_, and mercy in the great day\nof trial. In particular I commend to thy mercy, my father and mother,\nmy brethren and sisters, my friends and relations (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. Lord, thou\nbest knowest all their wants; O suit thy blessings to their several\nnecessities.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nLet these my prayers, O Lord, find access to the throne of grace,\nthrough the Son of thy love, Jesus Christ the righteous: to whom, with\nthee, O Father, in the unity of the Spirit, be all love and obedience\nnow and for ever!\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n WEDNESDAY EVENING.\n\n _Particular questions relating to mortification._\n\n1. Have I done any thing merely because it was pleasing?\n\n2. Have I not only \u2666not done what passion sollicited me to, but done\njust the contrary?\n\n \u2666 \u201cdone\u201d replaced with \u201cnot done\u201d per Errata\n\n3. Have I received the inconveniences I could not avoid, as means of\nmortification chosen for me by God?\n\n4. Have I contrived pretences to avoid self-denial? In particular,\n\n5. Have I thought any occasion of denying myself too small to be\nembraced?\n\n6. Have I submitted my will to the will of every one that opposed it;\nexcept where the glory of God was concerned?\n\n7. Have I set apart some time for endeavouring after a lively sense\nof the sufferings of _Christ_ and my own sins? For deprecating God\u2019s\njudgment, and thinking how to amend?\n\nO ALMIGHTY Lord of heaven and earth, I desire with fear and shame to\ncast myself down before thee, humbly confessing my manifold sins and\nunsufferable wickedness. I confess, O great God, that I have sinned\ngrievously against thee by thought, word and deed (particularly this\nday). Thy words and thy laws, O God, are holy, and thy judgments are\nterrible! But I have broken all thy righteous laws, and incurred thy\nseverest judgments; and where shall I appear when thou art angry?\n\nBut, O Lord my Judge, thou art also my Redeemer! I have sinned, but\nthou, O blessed Jesus, art my advocate! _Enter not into judgment with\nme_, lest I die; but spare me, gracious Lord, _spare thy servant, whom\nthou hast redeemed with thy most precious blood_. O reserve not evil\nin store for me against the day of vengeance, but let thy mercy be\nmagnified upon me. Deliver me from the power of sin, and preserve me\nfrom the punishment of it.\n\nThou whose mercy is without measure, whose goodness is \u2666unspeakable,\ndespise not thy returning servant, who earnestly begs for pardon and\nreconciliation. Grant me the forgiveness of what is past, and a perfect\nrepentance of all my sins, that for the time to come I may with a\npure spirit do thy will, O God, walking humbly with thee, conversing\ncharitably with men, possessing my soul in resignation and holiness,\nand my body in sanctification and honour.\n\n \u2666 \u201cunspeakble\u201d replaced with \u201cunspeakable\u201d\n\n*_My Lord and my God_, I know that unless I am planted together with\nthee in the likeness of thy death, I cannot in the likeness of thy\nresurrection. O strengthen me, that by _denying myself and taking up\nmy cross daily_, I may crucify the old man, and utterly destroy the\nwhole body of sin. Give me grace to _mortify all my members which are\nupon earth_, all my works and affections which are according to corrupt\nnature. Let me be dead unto sin, unto every transgression of thy law,\nwhich is holy, merciful and perfect. Let me be dead unto the world, and\nall that is in the world, the _desires \u2666of the flesh, the desire of the\neye, and the pride of life_. Let me be dead unto pleasure, so far as it\ntendeth not to thee, and to those pleasures which are at thy right-hand\nfor evermore. Let me be dead unto my own will, and alive only unto\nthine. I am not my own; thou hast _bought me with a price, with the\nprice of thine own blood. And thou didst therefore die for all, that\nwe should not henceforth live unto ourselves, but unto him that died\nfor us._ Arm thou me _with this mind; circumcise my heart_ and make me\na _new creature_. Let me no longer live to the desires of men, but to\nthe will of God. Let thy holy Spirit enable me to say with thy blessed\napostle, _I am crucified with_ Christ: _nevertheless I live, yet not I,\nbut |Christ| liveth in me_.\n\n \u2666 \u201cof the flesh, the desire\u201d added per Errata\n\nO thou _great Shepherd of souls_, bring home unto thy fold all that are\ngone astray. Preserve thy church from all heresy and schism, from all\nthat persecute or oppose the truth: and give unto thy ministers wisdom\nand holiness, and the powerful aid of thy blessed Spirit. Advance the\njust interests, and preserve the persons of all Christian princes,\nespecially our sovereign: give to him and his royal family, and to all\nhis subjects, in their several stations, particularly those that are in\nauthority among them, grace to do thy will in this world, and eternal\nglory in the world to come.\n\nBless, O Lord, all our nurseries of piety and schools of learning,\nthat they may devote all their studies to thy glory. Have mercy on\nall that are in affliction: remember the poor and needy, the widow and\nfatherless, the friendless and oppressed: heal the sick and languishing,\ngive them a sanctified use of thy rod, and when thou seest it expedient\nfor them, receive them into the number of thy departed saints, and with\nthem into thine everlasting kingdom.\n\nO my God, I praise thee for thy continual preservation of me, for thy\nfatherly protection over me this day. (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. For all the comforts\nwith which thou surroundest me, spiritual and temporal; particularly\nfor leave now to pray unto thee. O accept the poor services, pardon the\nsinfulness of this and all my holy duties, and bless me, my friends and\nrelations, my benefactors and mine enemies, (this night and ever) with\nthe blessings of thy children.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nThese my prayers, O most merciful Father, vouchsafe to hear, through\nthe mediation of _Jesus Christ_ our Redeemer, who with thee and the\nHoly Ghost is worshipped and glorified, in all churches of the saints,\none God blessed for ever!\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n THURSDAY MORNING.\n\nO ETERNAL God, my Sovereign Lord, I acknowledge all I am, all I have\nis thine. O give me such a sense of thy infinite goodness, that I may\nreturn to thee all possible love and obedience.\n\nI humbly and heartily thank thee for all the favours thou hast\nbestow\u2019d upon me; for creating me after thine own image, for thy daily\npreserving me by thy good providence, for redeeming me by the death of\nthy blessed Son, and for the assistance of thy holy Spirit: for causing\nme to be born in a Christian country, for blessing me with plentiful\nmeans of salvation, with religious parents and friends, and frequent\nreturns of thy ever blessed sacrament. I also thank thee for all thy\ntemporal blessings; for the preservation of me this night, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9\nfor my health, strength, food, raiment, and all the comforts and\nnecessaries of life. O may I always delight to _praise thy holy name_,\nand, above all thy benefits, love thee my great benefactor.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nAnd, O Father of mercies, shut not up thy bowels of compassion towards\nme a vile and miserable sinner; despise not the work of thine own hands,\nthe purchase of thy Son\u2019s blood. For his sake I most humbly implore\nforgiveness of all my sins. _Lo, I come now, to do thy will alone_; and\nam resolved by thy assistance, to have no longer any choice of my own,\nbut with singleness of heart to obey thy good pleasure: _Father not my\nwill, but thine be done, in all my thoughts, words, and actions_!\n\n*O thou all-sufficient God of angels and men, who art above all, and\nthrough all, and in all; from whom, by whom, and in whom are all things;\n_in whom we live, move, and have our being_; may my will be as entirely\nand continually derived from thine, as my being and happiness are!\n\nI believe, O sovereign goodness, O mighty wisdom, that thou dost\nsweetly order and govern all things, even the most minute, even the\nmost noxious, to thy glory, and _the good of those that love thee_!\nI believe, O Father of the families of heaven and earth, that thou\nso disposest all events, as may best magnify thy goodness to all thy\nchildren, especially those whose _eyes wait upon thee_. I most humbly\nbeseech thee teach me to adore all thy ways, though I cannot comprehend\nthem: teach me to be glad that thou art king, and to give thee thanks\nfor all things that befall me; seeing thou hast chosen that for me,\nand hast thereby _set to thy seal that they are good_. And for that\nwhich is to come, give me thy grace to do in all things what pleaseth\nthee, and then, with an absolute submission to thy wisdom, to leave the\nissues of them in thy hand.\n\nO Lord Jesu, I give thee my body, my soul, my substance, my fame, my\nfriends, my liberty, my life; dispose of me, and all that is mine, as\nit seemeth best unto thee. I am not mine, but thine; claim me as thy\nright, keep me as thy charge, love me as thy child! Fight for me when\nI am assaulted, heal me when I am wounded, and revive me when I am\ndestroyed.\n\nO help me with thy grace, that whatsoever I shall do or suffer this day\nmay tend to thy glory. Keep me in love to thee, and to all men. Do thou\ndirect my paths, and teach me to set thee always before me. Let not the\nthings of this life, or my manifold concerns therein, alienate any part\nof my affections from thee; nor let me ever pursue or regard them, but\nfor thee, and in obedience to thy will.\n\nExtend, O Lord, thy pity to the whole race of mankind: enlighten the\nGentiles with thy truth, and bring into thy flock thy ancient people\nthe Jews. Be gracious to the holy Catholic church; and grant she may\nalways preserve that doctrine and discipline which thou hast delivered\nto her. Grant that all of this nation, especially our governors and\nthe clergy, may, _whatsoever they do, do all to thy glory_. Bless\nall nurseries of true religion and useful learning, and let them not\nneglect the end of their institution. Be merciful to all that are in\ndistress, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 that struggle with pain, poverty or reproach: be\nthou a guide to them that travel by land or by water: give a strong and\nquiet spirit to those who are condemned to death, liberty to prisoners\nand captives, and ease and chearfulness to every sad heart. O give\nspiritual strength and comfort to scrupulous consciences, and to them\nthat are afflicted by evil spirits. Pity idiots and lunatics, and give\nlife and salvation to all to whom thou hast given no understanding.\nGive to all that are in error the light of thy truth; bring all sinners\nto repentance, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015) and give to all heretics humility and grace to\nmake amends to thy church, by the public acknowledgement of an holy\nfaith. Bless all my friends and relations, acquaintance and enemies:\n(\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015) unite us all to one another by mutual love, and to thyself by\nconstant holiness; that we, together with all those who are gone before\nus in thy faith and fear, may find a merciful acceptance in the last\nday, through the merits of thy blessed Son, to whom with thee and the\nHoly Ghost, be all glory, world without end!\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n THURSDAY EVENING.\n\n _Particular questions relating to resignation and meekness._\n\n1. Have I endeavoured to will what God wills, and that only?\n\n2. Have I received every thing that has befallen me, without my choice,\nas the choice of infinite wisdom and goodness for me, with thanks?\n\n3. Have I (after doing what he requires of me to do concerning them)\nleft all future things absolutely to God\u2019s disposal? That is, have I\nlaboured to be wholly indifferent to whichsoever way he shall ordain\nfor me?\n\n4. Have I resumed my claim to my body, soul, friends, fame, or fortune,\nwhich I have made over to God; or repented of my gift, when God\naccepted any of them at my hands?\n\n5. Have I endeavoured to be chearful, mild and courteous in whatever I\nsaid or did?\n\n6. Have I said any thing with a stern look, accent or gesture?\nParticularly with regard to religion?\n\nMY Lord and my God, thou seest my heart, and my desires are not\nhid from thee. I am encouraged by my happy experience of thy\ngoodness (particularly this day past) to present myself before thee,\nnotwithstanding I know myself unworthy of the least favour from thee.\nI am ashamed when I think, how long I have lived a stranger, yea,\nan enemy to thee, taking upon me to dispose of myself, and to please\nmyself in the main course of my life. But I now unfeignedly desire to\nreturn unto thee, and renouncing all interest and propriety in myself,\nto give myself up entirely to thee: I would be thine, and only thine\nfor ever. But I know I am nothing, and can do nothing of myself: and\nif ever I am thine, I must be wholly indebted to thee for it. O my God,\nmy Saviour, my Sanctifier, turn not away thy face from a poor soul that\nseeks thee: but as thou hast kindled in me these desires, so confirm,\nincrease, and satisfy them. Reject not that poor gift which I would\nmake of myself unto thee, but teach me so to make it, that it may be\nacceptable in thy sight. Lord, hear me, help me, and shew mercy unto\nme for _Jesus Christ_\u2019s sake.\n\nTo thee, O God, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, my Creator, Redeemer, and\nSanctifier, I give up myself entirely: may I no longer serve myself,\nbut thee, all the days of my life.\n\nI give thee my understanding: may it be my only care to know thee, thy\nperfections, thy works and thy will. Let all things else be _as dung\nand dross_ unto me, for the excellency of this knowledge. And let me\nsilence all reasonings against whatsoever thou teachest me, who canst\nneither deceive, nor be deceived.\n\nI give thee my will: may I have no will of my own: whatsoever thou\nwillest, may I will, and that only. May I will thy glory in all things\nas thou dost, and make that my end in every thing; may I ever say with\nthe Psalmist, _Whom have I in heaven but thee, and there is none upon\nearth that I desire beside thee_. May I delight to do thy will O God,\nand rejoice to suffer it. Whatever threatens me let me say, _It is the_\nLord, _let him do what seemeth him good_: and whatever befalls me, let\nme give thanks, since it is thy will concerning me.\n\nI give thee my affections; do thou dispose of them all: be thou my\nlove, my fear, my joy: and may nothing have any share in them, but with\nrespect to thee and for thy sake. What thou lovest may I love, what\nthou hatest may I hate, and that in such measures as thou art pleased\nto prescribe me.\n\nI give thee my body: may I glorify thee with it, and preserve it holy,\nfit for thee, O God, to dwell in; may I neither indulge it, nor use\ntoo much rigor towards it; but keep it, as far as in me lies, healthy,\nvigorous and active, and fit to do thee all manner of service, which\nthou shalt call for.\n\nI give thee all my worldly goods: may I prize them and use them only\nfor thee. May I faithfully restore to thee, in the poor, all thou hast\nintrusted me with, above the necessaries of life; and be content to\npart with \u2666them too, whenever thou my Lord, shalt require them at my\nhands.\n\n \u2666 \u201cit\u201d replaced with \u201cthem\u201d per Errata\n\nI give thee my credit and reputation: may I never value it, but only\nin respect of thee; nor endeavour to maintain it, but as it may do thee\nservice and advance thy honour in the world.\n\nI give thee myself and my all: let me look upon myself to be nothing,\nand to have nothing out of thee. Be thou the sole disposer and governor\nof myself and all; be thou my portion and my all.\n\nO my God and my all, when hereafter I shall be tempted to break this\nsolemn engagement, when I shall be prest to conform to the world, and\nto the company and customs that surround me; may my answer be, _I am\nnot my own_; I am not for myself, nor for the world, but for my God. I\nwill give unto God the things which are God\u2019s. God be merciful to me a\nsinner.\n\nHave mercy, O Father of the spirits of all flesh, on all mankind.\nConvert all Jews, Turks and Heathens to thy truth. Bless the Catholic\nchurch; heal its breaches, and establish it in truth and peace.\nPreserve and defend all Christian princes, especially our sovereign\nand his family. Be merciful to this nation; bless the clergy with\nsoundness of doctrine and purity of life; the council with wisdom,\nthe magistrates with integrity and zeal, and the people with loyalty.\nBless the universities with learning and holiness, that they may afford\na constant supply of men fit and able to do thee service.\n\nShower down thy graces on all my relations, on all my friends and all\nthat belong to this family. Comfort and relieve those that labour under\nany affliction of body or mind: especially those who suffer for the\ntestimony of a good conscience. Visit them, O gracious Lord, in all\ntheir distresses. Thou knowest, thou seest them under all. O stay their\nsouls upon thee; give them to rejoice that they are counted worthy\nto suffer for thy name\u2019s sake, and constantly to look unto the author\nand finisher of their faith. Supply abundantly to all their souls who\nare in prison, the want of thy holy ordinances, and in thy good time,\ndeliver them and be merciful unto them, as thou usest to be unto them\nthat love thy name. Those that love or do good to me, reward seven-fold\ninto their bosom: (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 those that hate me (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015) convert and forgive:\nand grant us all, together with thy whole church, an entrance into\nthine everlasting kingdom, through _Jesus Christ_; to whom with thee\nand the blessed Spirit, three persons and one God be ascribed all\nmajesty, dominion, and power, now and for evermore. _Amen._\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n FRIDAY MORNING.\n\nALMIGHTY and everlasting God, I bless thee from my heart, that of thy\ninfinite goodness thou hast preserved me this night past, and hast\nwith the impregnable defence of thy providence protected me, from the\npower and malice of the devil. Withdraw not, I humbly intreat thee, thy\nprotection from me, but mercifully this day watch over me with the eyes\nof thy mercy; direct my soul and body, according to the rule of thy\nwill, and fill my heart with thy holy Spirit, that I may pass this day,\nand all the rest of my days, to thy glory.\n\nO Saviour of the world, God _of_ Gods, _light of light_, thou that art\nthe brightness of thy Father\u2019s glory, the express image of his person;\nthou that hast destroyed the power of the devil, that hast overcome\ndeath, _that sittest at the right-hand of the Father_, thou wilt\nspeedily come down in thy Father\u2019s glory to judge all men according\nto their works: be thou my light and my peace; destroy the power of\nthe devil in me, and make me a new creature. O thou who didst cast\nseven devils out of _Mary Magdalen_, cast out of my heart all corrupt\naffections. O thou who didst raise _Lazarus_ from the dead, raise me\nfrom the death of sin. Thou who didst cleanse the lepers, heal the sick,\nand give sight to the blind, heal the diseases of my soul; open my eyes,\nand fix them singly on the prize of my high-calling, and cleanse my\nheart from every desire, but that of advancing thy glory.\n\n*O _Jesus_, poor and abject, unknown and despised, have mercy upon me,\nand let me not be ashamed to follow thee. O _Jesus_, hated, caluminated\nand persecuted; have mercy upon me, and let me not be afraid to come\nafter thee. O _Jesus_, betrayed and sold at a vile price, have mercy\nupon me; and make me content to be as my Master. O _Jesus_, blasphemed,\naccused and wrongfully condemned, have mercy upon me and teach me to\nendure the contradiction of sinners. O _Jesus_, clothed with a habit\nof reproach and shame, have mercy upon me, and let me not seek my own\nglory. O _Jesus_, insulted, mocked and spit upon, have mercy upon me,\nand let me run with patience the race set before me. O _Jesus_, dragged\nto the pillar, scourged and bathed in blood, have mercy upon me, and\nlet me not faint in the fiery trial. O _Jesus_, crowned with thorns and\nhailed in derision; O _Jesus_ burthened with our sins, and the curses\nof the people; O _Jesus_, affronted, outraged, buffeted, overwhelmed\nwith injuries, griefs and humiliations; O _Jesus_, hanging on the\naccursed tree, bowing the head, giving up the Ghost, have mercy upon me,\nand conform my whole soul to thy holy, humble, suffering Spirit. O thou\nwho for the love of me hast undergone such an infinity of sufferings\nand humiliations; let me be wholly \u201cemptied of myself,\u201d that I may\nrejoice to take up my cross daily and follow thee. Enable me too, to\nendure the pain and despise the shame; and if it be thy will, to resist\neven unto blood.\n\nHoly, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, I miserable sinner humbly\nacknowledge that I am altogether unworthy to pray for myself. But since\nthou hast commanded me to make prayers and intercessions for all men,\nin obedience to thy command, and confidence of thy unlimited goodness,\nI commend to thy mercy the wants and necessities of all mankind.\nLord, let it be thy good pleasure to restore to thy church Catholic,\nprimitive peace and purity: to shew mercy to these sinful nations, and\ngive us grace at length to break off our sins by repentance: defend\nour church from all the assaults of schism, heresy and sacrilege, and\nbless all _bishops_, _priests_ and _deacons_ with apostolical graces.\nO let it be thy good pleasure to defend the king from all his enemies\nspiritual and temporal; to bless all his royal relations; to grant\nto the council wisdom, to the magistrates, zeal and prudence, to the\ngentry and commons piety and loyalty.\n\nLord, let it be thy good pleasure, to give thy grace to the\nuniversities; to bless those whom I have wronged, (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9 and to\nforgive those who have wronged me (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015): to comfort the disconsolate,\nto give health and patience to all that are sick and afflicted (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015).\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nVouchsafe to bless my father and mother with the fear of thy name, that\nthey may be holy in all manner of conversation. Let them remember how\nshort their time is, and be careful to improve every moment of it. O\nthou who hast kept them from their youth up until now, forsake them not\nnow they are grey-headed, but perfect them in every good word and work,\nand be thou their guide unto death. Bless my brethren and sisters,\nwhom thou hast graciously taught the gospel of thy _Christ_; give\nthem further degrees of illumination, that they may serve thee with a\nperfect heart and willing mind. Bless my friends and benefactors, and\nall who have commended themselves to my prayers (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015). Lord, thou best\nknowest all our conditions, all our desires, all our wants. O do thou\nsuit thy grace and blessings to our several necessities.\n\nHear, O merciful Father, my supplications, for the sake of thy Son\n_Jesus_, and bring us, with all those who have pleased thee from the\nbeginning of the world, into the glories of thy Son\u2019s kingdom: to whom\nwith thee and the Holy Ghost, be all praise for ever and ever!\n\n_Our Father_, &c.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n FRIDAY EVENING.\n\n _Questions relating to mortification, see before the prayers\n for Wednesday evening._\n\nO GOD the Father, who canst not be thought to have made me only to\ndestroy me, have mercy upon me.\n\nO God the Son, who knowing thy Father\u2019s will didst come into the world\nto save me, have mercy upon me.\n\nO God the Holy Ghost, who to the same end hast so often since breathed\nholy thoughts into me, have mercy upon me.\n\nO holy, blessed and glorious Trinity, whom in Three persons I adore as\nOne God, have mercy upon me.\n\nLord, carest thou not that I perish! Thou that would\u2019st have all men\nto be saved! Thou that would\u2019st have none to perish! And wilt thou\nnow shew thine anger against a worm, a leaf! Against a vapour that\nvanisheth before thee! O remember how short my time is, and deliver not\nmy soul into the power of hell! For, alas, what profit is there in my\nblood? Or, who shall give thee thanks in that pit? No; let me live in\nthy sight: let me live, O my God, and my soul shall praise thee. Forget\nme, as I have been disobedient, provoking thee to anger, and regard\nme as I am distrest, crying out to thee for help. Look not upon me as\nI am a sinner; but consider me as I am thy creature. A sinner I am, I\nconfess, a sinner of no ordinary stain: But let not this hinder thee,\nO my God; for upon such sinners thou gettest the greatest glory.\n\nO remember for whose sake it was that thou camest from the bosom of thy\nFather, and was content to be born of thine own handmaid. Remember, for\nwhom it was that thy tender body was torn and scourged and crucified!\nWas it not for the sins of the whole world? And shall I be so injurious\nto thy glory, as to think thou hast excepted me? Or can I think, thou\ndiedst only for sinners of a lower kind and leftest such as me without\nremedy? What had become then of him, who filled _Jerusalem_ with blood?\nWhat of her, who lived in a trade of sin? Nay, what had become of thine\nown disciple, who with oaths and curses thrice denied thee?\n\nO how easy is it for thee to forgive? For it is thy nature. How proper\nis it for thee to save? For it is thy name! How suitable is it to thy\ncoming into the world? For it is thy business. And when I consider that\nI am the chief of sinners, may I not urge thee farther, and say, Shall\nthe chief of thy business be left undone? Far be that from thee? Have\nmercy upon me!\n\nI ask not of thee the things of this world, give them to whom thou\npleasest so thou givest me mercy. O say unto my soul, _Be of good cheer,\nthy sins are forgiven thee_. O that I might never sin against thee\nmore! And whereinsoever my conscience accuses me most, be thou most\nmerciful unto me!\n\nSave me, O God, as a brand snatched out of the fire.\n\nReceive me, O my Saviour, as a sheep that is gone astray, but would now\nreturn to the great shepherd and bishop of my soul!\n\nFather, accept my imperfect repentance, compassionate my infirmities,\nforgive my wickedness, purify my uncleanness, strengthen my weakness,\nfix my unstableness, and let thy good Spirit watch over me for ever,\nand thy love ever rule in my heart, through the merits and sufferings\nand love of thy Son, in whom thou art always well pleased.\n\nGive thy grace, O holy Jesus, to all the world, and let all who\nare redeemed by thy blood, acknowledge thee to be the Lord. Let all\nChristians, especially those of this nation, keep themselves unspotted\nfrom the world. Let all governors, and especially our sovereign, rule\nwith wisdom and justice; and let the clergy be exemplary in their lives,\nand discreet and diligent in their labours. Let our universities enjoy\nfreedom from violence and faction, and excel in true religion and sound\nlearning. Be an help at hand to all that are afflicted, and assist\nthem to trust in thee. Raise up friends for the widow and fatherless,\nthe friendless and oppressed. Give patience to all that are sick,\ncomfort to all troubled consciences, strength to all that are tempted.\nBe gracious to my relations (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9, to all that are endeared to\nme by their kindnesses or acquaintance, to all who remember me in\ntheir prayers, or desire to be remembered in mine (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015). Sanctify, O\nmerciful Lord, the friendship which thou hast granted me, with these\nthy servants (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015). O let our prayers be heard for each other, while\nour hearts are united in thy fear and love, and graciously unite them\ntherein more and more. Strengthen the hearts of us thy servants against\nall our corruptions and temptations: enable us to consecrate ourselves\nfaithfully and entirely to thy service. Grant that, we may _provoke\neach other to love_ and serve thee, and grow up together before thee in\nthy fear and love, to thy heavenly kingdom. And by thy infinite mercies,\nvouchsafe to bring us, with those that are dead in thee, to rejoice\ntogether before thee, through the merits of our Lord Jesus Christ, to\nwhom with thee and the Holy Ghost, the blessed and only Potentate, the\nKing of Kings and Lord of Lords, be honour and power everlasting.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SATURDAY MORNING.\n\nO GOD, thou great Creator and Sovereign Lord of heaven and earth, thou\nFather of angels and men, thou giver of life and protector of all thy\ncreatures, mercifully accept this my morning sacrifice of praise and\nthanksgiving, which I desire to offer with all humility to thy divine\nMajesty. _Thou art praised, O Lord, by all thy works_, and magnified\nby every thing which thou hast created. The sun rejoiceth to run his\ncourse, that he may set forth thy praise who madest him. Nor do the\nmoon and stars refrain to manifest thy glory, even amidst the silent\nnight. The earth breathes forth each day perfumes, as incense to\nthee her sacred King, who has crowned her with herbs and trees, and\nbeautified her with hills and dales. The deep uttereth his voice, and\nlifteth up his hands on high to thee, the great Creator, the universal\nKing, the everlasting God. The floods clap their hands, and the hills\nare joyful together before thee; the fruitful vales rejoice and sing\nthy praise. Thou feedest the innumerable multitude of animals which\nthou hast created; _these all wait upon thee, and thou givest them\ntheir meat in due season_. Thou madest light for our comfort, and\nbroughtest forth darkness out of thy treasures, to overshadow the\nearth, that the living creatures of it might take their rest. _The\nfire and hail, snow and vapour, wind and storm fulfil thy word_, and\nmanifest thy glory. Inanimate things declare thee, O Lord of life;\nand irrational animals demonstrate their wise Creator. Amidst this\nuniversal jubilee of nature, suffer not, I beseech thee, the sons of\nmen to be silent; but let the noblest work of thy creation pay thee\nthe noblest sacrifice of praise. O pour thy grace into my heart, that I\nmay worthily magnify thy great and glorious name. Thou hast made me and\nsent me into the world to do thy work. O assist me to fulfil the end of\nmy creation, and to shew forth thy praise with all diligence, by giving\nmyself up to thy service. _Prosper the work of my hands upon me_, O\nLord; O prosper thou whatever I shall undertake this day, that it may\ntend to thy glory, the good of my neighbour, and the salvation of my\nown soul.\n\nPreserve me from all those snares and temptations which continually\nsollicit me to offend thee. Guide me by thy holy Spirit in all those\nplaces whither thy providence shall lead me this day; and suffer not\nmy communications with the world to dissipate my thoughts, to make me\ninadvertent to thy presence, or lukewarm in thy service: but let me\nalways walk as in thy sight, and as one who knows this life to be the\nseed-time of an eternal harvest. Keep me, I beseech thee, undefiled,\nunblamable, and unreprovable unto the end; and grant, that I may so\ndiligently perform thy will, in that station wherein thou hast been\npleased to place me, that I may make my calling and election sure,\nthro\u2019 Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour.\n\nHear also, O Lord, my prayers for the whole race of mankind, and\nguide their feet into the way of peace: reform the corruptions of\nthy Catholic church, heal her divisions, and restore to her, her\nancient discipline: give to the clergy thereof, whether they be\nbishops, priests or deacons, grace as good shepherds to feed the flocks\ncommitted to their charge. Bless King _George_ and all the royal family\nand all that are put in authority under him. Let them exceed others as\nmuch in goodness as greatness, and be signal instruments of thy glory.\nGrant that in the universities, and in all other places set apart for\nthy service, whatsoever is praise-worthy may for ever flourish. Keep,\nO Lord, all the nobility, gentry and commons of this land, in constant\ncommunion with thy holy Catholic church, in humble obedience to the\nking, and in Christian charity one towards another.\n\nIn a particular manner, I beseech thee to be gracious to my father\nand mother, my brethren and sisters, and all my friends and relations.\nPardon all their sins, and heal all their infirmities. Give them that\nshare of the blessings of this life, which thou knowest to be most\nexpedient for them; and thy grace so to use them here, that they may\nenjoy thee eternally.\n\nWith a propitious eye, O gracious Comforter, behold all that are in\naffliction: let the sighings of the prisoners, the groans of the sick,\nthe prayers of the oppressed, the desire of the poor and needy come\nbefore thee (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. Give unto my enemies (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015) grace and pardon,\ncharity to me and love to thee: remove the cloud from their eyes, the\nstony from their hearts, that they may know and feel what it is to love\ntheir neighbour as themselves. And may it please thee to enable me to\n_love all mine enemies, to bless them that now curse me, to do good\nto them that hate me, and to pray for those who despitefully use me\nand persecute me_. Be pleased, O Lord, of thy goodness, shortly to\naccomplish the number of thine elect, and to hasten thy kingdom; that\nwe, with all thy whole church, may have our perfect consummation of\nbliss, through _Jesus Christ_ our Lord, by whom and with whom, in the\nunity of the Holy Ghost, all honour and glory be unto thee, O Father\nAlmighty, now and for ever.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SATURDAY EVENING.\n\n _Particular questions relating to thankfulness._\n\n1. Have I allotted some time for thanking God for the blessings of the\npast week?\n\n2. Have I, in order to be the more sensible of them, seriously and\ndeliberately considered the several circumstances that attended them?\n\n3. Have I considered each of them as an obligation to greater love, and\nconsequently to stricter holiness?\n\nO Most great and glorious God, who art mighty in thy power, and\nwonderful in thy doings towards the sons of men, accept, I beseech thee,\nmy unfeigned thanks and praise, for my creation, preservation, and all\nthe other blessings, which in the riches of thy mercy, thou hast from\ntime to time poured down upon me. _Thou_, Lord, _in the beginning hast\nlaid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the works of\nthine hand_. Thou createdst the sun and moon, the day and night, and\nmakest the outgoings of the morning and evening to praise thee. Thou\n_formedst man of the dust of the ground and breathedst into him the\nbreath of life_. In thine own image madest thou him, capable of knowing\nand loving thee eternally. His nature was perfect, thy will was his law,\nand thy blessed self his portion. Neither after he had left his first\nestate didst thou utterly withdraw thy mercy from him; but in every\nsucceeding generation, didst save, deliver, assist and protect him.\nThou hast instructed us by thy laws, and enlightened us by thy statutes.\nThou hast redeemed us by the blood of thy Son, and sanctifiest us by\nthe grace of thy holy Spirit. For these and all thy other mercies, how\ncan I ever sufficiently love thee, or worthily magnify thy great and\nglorious name? All the powers of my soul are too few to conceive the\nthanks that are due to thee, even for vouchsafing me the honour of now\nappearing before thee and conversing with thee. But thou hast declared\nthou wilt accept the sacrifice of thanksgiving, in return for all thy\ngoodness. For ever therefore will I bless thee, will I adore thy power,\nand magnify thy goodness: _My tongue shall sing of thy righteousness,\nand be telling of thy salvation from day to day_. I will give thanks\nunto thee for ever and ever; I will praise my God while I have my being.\nO that I had the heart of the seraphim, that I might burn with love\nlike theirs! But tho\u2019 I am upon earth, yet will I praise, as I can, the\nKing of heaven; though I am a feeble, mortal creature, yet will I join\nmy song with those that excel in strength, with the immortal host of\nangels and arch-angels, thrones, dominions and powers, while they laud\nand magnify thy glorious name, and sing with incessant shouts of praise.\n\nHoly, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts! Heaven and earth are full of\nhis glory! Glory be to thee O Lord most high. _Amen. Hallelujah._\n\nAccept, O merciful Father, my most humble thanks, for thy preservation\nof me this day (\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015)\u00b9. O continue thy loving-kindness towards me, and\ntake me into thy protection this night. Let thy holy angels watch over\nme to defend me from the attempts of evil men and evil spirits. Let me\nrest in peace, and not sleep in sin, and grant that I may rise more fit\nfor thy service.\n\n \u00b9 Here mention the particulars you would pray for.\n\nO thou whose kingdom ruleth over all, rule in the hearts of all the\nmen whom thou hast made: reform the corruptions, and heal the breaches\nof thy holy church, and establish her in truth and peace. Be gracious\nunto all priests and deacons, and give them rightly to divine the word\nof truth. Forgive the sins of this nation, and turn our hearts, that\niniquity may not be our ruin. Bless king _George_ and all the royal\nfamily, with all those blessings which thou seest to be most expedient\nfor them; and give to his council, and to the nobility and magistracy,\ngrace truely to serve thee in their several stations. Bless our\nuniversities, that they may be the great bulwarks of thy faith and\nlove, against all the assaults of vice and infidelity: may the gentry\nand commons of this realm, live in constant communion with thy church,\nin obedience to the king, and in love one towards another.\n\nBe gracious to all who are near and dear to me. Thou knowest their\nnames and art acquainted with their wants. Of thy goodness be pleased\nto proportion thy blessings to their necessities. Pardon my enemies,\nand give them repentance and charity, and me grace to overcome evil\nwith good. Have compassion on all who are distressed in mind, body or\nestate, and give them steady patience and timely deliverance.\n\nNow to God the Father, who first loved us, and made us accepted in\nthe Beloved: to God the Son, who loved us and washed us from our sins\nin his own blood: to God the Holy Ghost, who sheddeth the love of God\nabroad in our hearts, be all love and all glory in time and to all\neternity. _Amen!_\n\n\n\n\n A COLLECTION OF\n PRAYERS for FAMILIES.\n\n\n SUNDAY MORNING.\n\nALMIGHTY and eternal God, we desire to praise thy holy name for so\ngraciously raising us up, in soundness of body and mind, to see the\nlight of this day.\n\nWe bless thee in behalf of all thy creatures; for _the eyes of all look\nunto thee, and thou givest them their meat in due season_. But above\nall we acknowledge thy inestimable benefits bestowed upon mankind in\nChrist Jesus. We thank thee for his miraculous birth, for his most holy\nlife, his bitter agony and bloody death, for his glorious resurrection\non this day, his ascension into heaven, his triumph over all the powers\nof darkness, and his sitting at thy right hand for ever more.\n\nO God, how great was thy love to the sinful sons of men, to give\n_thy only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him, might not\nperish, but have everlasting life_! How great was that love which hath\ncommitted our souls to one so _mighty to save_! Which hath chosen us\nto be thy sons and heirs, together with Christ Jesus, and set such an\nhigh priest over thy house and family, to make intercession for us, to\npour thy blessings upon us, and to send forth his angels to _minister\nunto them who shall be heirs of salvation_! O the riches of thy grace,\nin sending the Holy Ghost, to make us _abound in hope_, that we shall\none day rise from the dead, and after our short labours here, rest with\nthee in thy eternal glory.\n\nO that we could begin this day, in devout \u2666meditations, in joy\nunspeakable, and in blessing and praising thee, who hast given us such\ngood hope and everlasting consolation! Lift up our minds above all\nthese little things below, which are apt to distract our thoughts; and\nkeep them above, till our hearts are fully bent to seek thee every day,\nin the way wherein Jesus hath gone before us, tho\u2019 it should be with\nthe loss of all we here possess.\n\n \u2666 \u201cmediations\u201d replaced with \u201cmeditations\u201d per Errata\n\nWe are ashamed, O Lord, to think that ever we have disobey\u2019d thee,\nwho hast redeemed us by the precious blood of thine own Son. O that we\nmay agree with thy will in all things for the time to come! and that\nall the powers of our souls and bodies may be wholly dedicated to thy\nservice! We desire unfeignedly that all the thoughts and designs of\nour minds, all the affections and tempers of our hearts, and all the\nactions of our life, may be pure, holy, and unreproveable in thy sight.\n\n_Search us_, O Lord, _and prove us; try out our reins and our heart.\nLook well if there be any way of wickedness in us, and lead us in the\nway everlasting_. Let thy favour be better to us than life itself; that\nso in all things we may approve our hearts before thee, and feel the\nsense of thy acceptance of us, giving us a joy which the world cannot\ngive.\n\nMake it our delight to praise thee, to call to mind thy loving-kindness,\nand to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving. Help us to _take heed to\nourselves, lest at any time our hearts be overcharged with surfeiting\nor drunkenness, or the cares of this life: to have our conversation\nwithout covetousness, and to be content with such things as we have: to\npossess our bodies in sanctification and honour: to love our neighbour\nas ourselves, and as we would that others should do to us, do even\nso to them. To live peaceably, as much as lieth in us, with all men:\nto put on the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit: and to take those\nwho have spoken in the name of our LORD, for an example of suffering\naffliction and of patience; and when we suffer as Christians, not to\nbe ashamed, but to glorify thee our |God| on this behalf._\n\nAnd accept, good Lord, of all the praises of all thy people met\ntogether this day. O that _thy ways were known upon all the earth,\nthy saving health among all nations_! And that all Christian kings\nespecially, may be filled with thy holy Spirit, and be faithful\nsubjects of the Lord Jesus _the King of Kings and Lord of Lords_. O\nthat thy _priests may be cloathed with righteousness, and thy saints\nrejoice and sing_; that all who are in distress may trust in thee, the\n_help of their countenance and their_ God. O Lord, hear us, and make\nthy face to shine upon thy servants, that we may _enter into thy gates\nwith thanksgiving, and into thy courts with praise: that we may be\nthankful unto thee and bless thy name_. Amen, for Jesus Christ\u2019s sake,\nin whose words we conclude our imperfect prayers, saying, \u201cOur Father,\n&c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SUNDAY EVENING.\n\nO THOU _high and holy one that inhabitest eternity_. Thou art to be\nfeared and loved by all thy servants. _All thy works praise thee_,\nO God; and we especially _give thanks unto thee_, for thy marvellous\nlove in Christ Jesus, by whom thou hast _reconciled the world to\nthyself_. Thou hast _given us exceeding great and precious promises_.\nThou hast sealed them with his blood, thou hast confirmed them by his\nresurrection and ascension, and the coming of the Holy Ghost. We thank\nthee that thou hast given us so many happy opportunities of knowing\n_the truth as it is in_ Jesus, even _the mystery which was hid from\nages and generations_, but is now revealed to them that believe.\n\nBlessed be thy goodness for that great consolation, and for the\nassistance of thy holy Spirit. Blessed be thy goodness, that we\nhave felt it so often in our hearts, inspiring us with holy thoughts,\nfilling us with love and joy and comfortable expectations of _the glory\nthat shall be revealed_. We thank thee, that thou hast suffered us this\nday, to attend on thee in thy public service: and that we have begun in\nany measure, to pursue after that eternal _rest which remaineth for the\npeople of_ God.\n\nWe offer up again our souls and bodies to thee to be governed, not by\nour will, but thine. O let it be ever the ease and joy of our hearts,\nto be under the conduct of thy unerring wisdom, to follow thy counsels,\nand to be ruled in all things by thy holy will. And let us never\ndistrust thy abundant kindness and tender care over us; whatsoever it\nis thou wouldst have us to do, or to suffer in this world.\n\nO God, purify our hearts, that we may intirely love thee, and rejoice\nin being beloved of thee; that we may confide in thee, and absolutely\nresign ourselves to thee, and be filled with constant devotion toward\nthee. O that we may never sink into a base love of any thing here below,\nnor be oppressed with the cares of this life; but assist us to _abhor\nthat which is evil, and cleave to that which is good_. Let us _use this\nworld as not abusing it_. Give us true humility of spirit, that we may\n_not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think_. Keep us\nfrom being _wise in our own conceits. Let our moderation be known to\nall men._ Make us _kindly affectioned one to another_; to delight in\ndoing good; to _shew all meekness to all men; to render to all their\ndues; tribute to whom tribute is due, custom to whom custom, fear to\nwhom fear, honour to whom honour_; and to _owe no man any thing, but\nto love one another_. Make us so happy, that we may be able to _love\nour enemies, to bless those that curse us, to do good to them that\nhate us; to rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that\nweep_. Compose our spirits to a quiet and steady dependance on thy good\nprovidence, that we may _take no thought for our life_, nor _be careful\nfor any thing, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,\nstill make known our requests to thee our God_. And help us to _pray\nalways and not faint; in every thing to give thanks, and offer up the\nsacrifice of praise continually; to rejoice in hope of thy glory; to\npossess our souls in patience_; and to _learn in whatsoever state we\nare, therewith to be content_. Make us _know both how to be abased,\nand how to abound: every where, and in all things_, instruct us _both\nto abound and to suffer want_, being enabled to _do all things through\nChrist which strengtheneth us_.\n\nO that the light of all Christians did so _shine before_ men, that\nothers might _glorify_ thee, _our Father which art in heaven! Send\nforth thy light and thy truth_ into all the dark corners of the\nearth; that _all kings may fall down before thee, and all nations do\nthee service_! Bless these kingdoms, and give us grace at length, to\n_bring forth fruits meet for repentance_. O Lord, save the king, and\n_establish his throne in righteousness_. Prosper the endeavours of\nall those who faithfully feed thy people, and increase the number of\nthem. O that the seed which hath been sown this day, may take deep\nroot in all our hearts; that being _not forgetful hearers, but doers\nof the word, we may be blessed in our deeds_. Help us in all the week\nfollowing, to _set a watch before our mouth, and keep the door of our\nlips_. And _let not our heart incline to any evil thing_, or _to\npractise wicked works with men that work iniquity_. But _as we have\nreceived how we ought to walk and to please thee, so may we abound more\nand more_.\n\nProtect us, we beseech thee, and all our friends every where this night,\nand awaken in the morning those good thoughts in our hearts, that _the\nwords of our Saviour may abide in us, and we in him_; who hath taught\nus, when we pray to say, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n MONDAY MORNING.\n\nWE humble ourselves, O Lord of heaven and earth, before thy glorious\nMajesty. We acknowledge thy eternal power, wisdom, goodness, and truth;\nand desire to render thee most unfeigned thanks, for all the benefits\nwhich thou pourest upon us. But above all, for thine inestimable love,\nin the redemption of the world, by our Lord Jesus Christ.\n\nWe implore thy tender mercies, in the forgiveness of all our sins,\nwhereby we have offended either in thought, word, or deed. We desire\nto be truly sorry for all our misdoings, and utterly to renounce\nwhatsoever is contrary to thy will. We desire to devote our whole man,\nbody, soul and spirit, to thee. And as thou dost inspire us with these\ndesires, so accompany them always with thy grace, that we may every\nday, with our whole hearts, give ourselves up to thy service.\n\nWe desire to be so holy and undefiled as our blessed Master was. And\nwe trust thou wilt fulfil all the gracious promises which he hath made\nto us. Let them be dearer to us than thousands of gold and silver; let\nthem be the comfort and joy of our hearts. We ask nothing, but that it\nmay be unto thy servants according to his word.\n\nThou hast mercifully kept us the last night: blessed be thy continued\ngoodness. Receive us likewise into thy protection this day. Guide and\nassist us in all our thoughts, words, and actions. Make us willing to\ndo and suffer what thou pleasest; waiting for the mercy of our Lord,\nChrist Jesus, unto eternal life.\n\nBlessed be thy goodness which hath not suffered us to wander, without\ninstruction, after the foolish desires of our own hearts; but hast\nclearly shewn us where our happiness lies. O may we receive with\nall thankfulness, those holy words which teach us the blessedness of\npoverty of spirit, of mourning after thee, of meekness and gentleness,\nof hungering and thirsting after righteousness, of mercifulness and\npurity of heart, of doing good unto all, and patiently suffering for\ndoing the will of our Lord Christ.\n\nO may we always be in the number of those blessed souls! May we ever\nfeel ourselves happy in having the kingdom of God within us, in the\ncomforts of the holy one, in being filled with all the fruits of\nrighteousness, in being made the children of the highest, and above\nall, in seeing thee, our God. Let us abound in thy love more and more;\nand in continual prayers and praises to thee, the Father of mercies and\nGod of all consolation, in Jesus Christ our Lord.\n\nAnd we desire, thou knowest, the good of all mankind, especially of\nall Christian people; that they may all walk worthy of the gospel, and\nlive together in unity and Christian love. For which end, we pray that\nall Christian kings, princes, and governors, may be wise, pious, just,\nand merciful, endeavouring that all their subjects may lead peaceable\nlives in all godliness and honesty: and more particularly, that our\nsovereign, king _George_, may be blest with a religious, quiet, long,\nand prosperous reign, and that all in authority under him may seek in\ntheir several stations to right the oppressed, to comfort the afflicted,\nto provide for the poor and needy, and to relieve all those that are\nin any misery. Bless all those that watch over our souls; succeed\ntheir labours, and give us grace to follow their godly admonitions,\nand _to esteem them very highly in love for their work\u2019s sake_. The\nsame blessings we crave for our friends, relations, and acquaintance,\nthat we may all live in perfect love and peace together, and rejoice\ntogether at the great day of the Lord Jesus; in whose holy words we sum\nup all our wants, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n MONDAY EVENING.\n\nALMIGHTY and most merciful Father in whom we live, move, and have our\nbeing; to whose tender compassions we owe our safety the day past,\ntogether with all the comforts of this life, and the hopes of that\nwhich is to come: we praise thee, O Lord, we bow ourselves before thee,\nacknowledging we have nothing but what we receive from thee. _Unto thee\ndo we give thanks_, O God, who daily pourest thy benefits upon us.\n\nBlessed be thy goodness for our health, for our food and raiment,\nfor our peace and safety, for the love of our friends, for all our\nblessings in this life; and our desire to attain that life which is\nimmortal. Blessed be thy love, for that we feel in our hearts any\nmotion toward thee. Behold, O Lord, we present ourselves before thee,\nto be inspired with such a vigorous sense of thy love, as may put us\nforward with a greater earnestness, zeal, and diligence in all our duty.\nRenew in us, we beseech, a lively image of thee, in all righteousness,\npurity, mercy, faithfulness and truth. O that Jesus, the hope of\nglory, may be formed in us, in all humility, meekness, patience, and\nan absolute surrender of our souls and bodies to thy holy will: that\n_we may not live, but Christ may live in us_; that every one of us may\nsay, _The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of\nGod, who loved me, and gave himself for me_.\n\nLet the remembrance of his love, who made himself an offering for our\nsins, be ever dear and precious to us. Let it continually move us to\noffer up ourselves to thee, to do thy will, as our blessed Master did.\nMay we place an entire confidence in thee, and still trust ourselves\nwith thee, who hast not spared _thine own Son, but freely given him\nup for us all_. May we humbly accept of whatsoever thou sendest us,\nand _in every thing give thanks_. Surely thou _wilt never leave us nor\nforsake us_. O guide us safe through all the changes of this life, in\nan unchangeable love to thee, and a lively sense of thy love to us,\ntill we come to live with thee and enjoy thee for ever.\n\nAnd now that we are going to lay ourselves down to sleep take us into\nthy gracious protection, and settle our spirits in such quiet and\ndelightful thoughts, of the glory where our Lord Jesus lives, that\nwe may desire to be dissolved and to go to him who died for us, that\nwhether we wake or sleep, we might live together with him.\n\nTo thy blessing we recommend all mankind, high and low, rich and\npoor, that they may all faithfully serve thee, and contentedly enjoy\nwhatsoever is needful for them. And especially we beseech thee, that\nthe course of this world may be so peaceably ordered by thy governance,\nthat thy church may joyfully serve thee in all godly quietness. We\nleave all we have with thee, especially our friends, and those who are\ndear unto us; desiring that when we are dead and gone, they may lift up\ntheir souls in this manner unto thee; and teach those that come after,\nto praise, love, and obey thee. And if we awake again in the morning,\nmay we praise thee again with joyful lips, and still offer ourselves a\nmore acceptable sacrifice to thee, thro\u2019 Jesus Christ, in whose words\nwe beseech thee to hear us, according to the full sense and meaning\nthereof, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n TUESDAY MORNING.\n\nO MOST great and mighty Lord, the possessor of heaven and earth,\nall the angels rejoice in blessing and praising thee, the Father of\nspirits: for _thou hast created all things, and in wisdom hast thou\nmade them all_, and spread thy tender mercies over all thy works. We\ndesire thankfuly to acknowledge thy bounty to us, among the rest of thy\ncreatures, and thy particular grace and favour to us, in Jesus Christ,\nour merciful Redeemer. O give us a deep sense of that love which gave\nhim to die for us, that he might be _the author of eternal salvation to\nall them that obey him_.\n\nAnd hast thou not said, that thou wilt _give thy holy Spirit to them\nthat ask it_? O Father of mercies, let it be unto us, according to thy\nword. Cherish whatever thou hast already given us, which is acceptable\nin thy sight. And since at the best we are unprofitable servants, and\ncan do no more than it is our duty to do, enable us to do every thing\nwhich thou hast commanded us heartily, with good will, and true love to\nthy service.\n\nO that we might ever approach thee with delight, and feel it the joy\nof our hearts, to think of thee, to praise thee, to give thee thanks,\nand to offer ourselves with absolute resignation to thee. O that mercy\nmay always please us, as it pleaseth thee! That we may be strictly just\nand righteous! May chearfully pass by injuries, freely deny ourselves\nwhatever is not for thy glory; willingly submit to thy fatherly\ncorrections, and perform the duties of our several relations, with\nsingleness of heart. Render us so mindful of the great love of our\nLord, that we may be zealously concerned for his glory, and use our\nutmost diligence to promote his religion in the world; delighting to\ncommemorate his death and passion, making a joyful sacrifice of our\nsouls and bodies to him, and \u2666earnestly desiring that his kingdom may\ncome over all the earth.\n\n \u2666 \u201ceatnestly\u201d replaced with \u201cearnestly\u201d\n\nFulfil, most merciful Lord all our petitions; and as thou hast\ngraciously protected us this night, so accompany us all this day with\nthy blessing, that we may please thee in body and soul, and be safe\nunder thy defence, who art ever nigh unto all those that call upon thee.\n\nAnd O that all men may be awakened into a lively and thankful sense of\nall thy benefits. Stir up especially the minds of all Christian people,\nto follow _the truth as it is in Jesus_, and _exercise_ themselves _to\nhave a conscience void of offence towards God and towards man_. Bless\nthese kingdoms, and endue our sovereign with such excellent wisdom and\nholy zeal, that we may see many good days under his government. O that\ntrue religion, justice, mercy, brotherly-kindness, and all things else\nthat are praise-worthy, may so flourish among us, that we may enjoy the\nblessings of peace and plenty, and there may be no complaining in our\nstreets.\n\nWe recommend to thee all our friends and neighbours, all the poor,\nthe sick, and the afflicted, desiring those mercies for them, which\nwe should ask for ourselves, were we in their condition. _O God, whose\nnever failing providence ordereth all things both in heaven and earth,\nkeep them and us, we beseech thee, from all hurtful things, and give us\nthose things which are profitable for us, according to thine abundant\nmercy in our_ Lord Jesus; in whose words we conclude our supplication\nunto thee, saying, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n TUESDAY EVENING.\n\nALMIGHTY and everlasting God, the sovereign Lord of all creatures in\nheaven and earth, we acknowledge that our beings, and all the comforts\nof them, depend on thee, the fountain of all good. We have nothing but\nwhat is owing entirely to thy free and bounteous love, O most blessed\nCreator, and to the riches of thy grace, O most blessed Redeemer.\n\nTo thee therefore be given by us, and by all creatures, whom thou hast\nmade to know how great and good thou art, all honour and praise, all\nlove and obedience, as long as we have any being. _It is but meet,\nright, and our bounden duty, that we should at all times, and in all\nplaces, give thanks unto thee_, O Lord, and devoutly resign both soul\nand body to thee, to be absolutely governed and ruled according to thy\nholy will.\n\nFurther, we pray thee, increase every good desire which we feel already\nin our hearts; let us always live as becomes thy creatures, as becomes\nthe disciples of Jesus Christ. Incline us to be more and more in love\nwith thy laws, till they are written upon our hearts. Stir up our wills,\nto _love them exceedingly_, and to cleave unto them as our very life.\n\nO that we might heartily surrender our wills to thine! That we\nmay unchangeably cleave unto it, with the greatest and most entire\naffection to all thy commands. O that there may abide for ever in\nus, such a strong and powerful sense of thy mighty love towards us in\n_Christ Jesus_, as may constrain us freely and willingly to please thee,\nin the constant exercise of righteousness and mercy, temperance and\ncharity, meekness and patience, truth and fidelity; together with such\nan humble, contented and peaceable spirit, as may adorn the religion\nof our Lord and Master. Yea let it ever be the joy of our hearts to be\nrighteous, as thou art righteous; to be merciful, as thou, our heavenly\nFather, art merciful; to be _holy, as thou who hast called us art holy\nin all manner of conversation_; to be endued with thy divine wisdom,\nand to resemble thee in faithfulness and truth. O that the example of\nour blessed Saviour may be always dear unto us, that we may chearfully\nfollow him in every holy temper, and delight to do thy will, O God. Let\nthese desires, which thou hast given us, never die or languish in our\nhearts, but be kept always alive, always in their vigour and force, by\nthe perpetual inspirations of the Holy Ghost.\n\nAccept likewise of our thanks for thy merciful preservation of us all\nthis day. We are bold again to commit ourselves unto thee this night.\nDefend us from all the powers of darkness; and raise up our spirits,\ntogether with our bodies, in the morning, to such a vigorous sense\nof thy continued goodness, as may provoke us all the day long to an\nunwearied diligence in well-doing.\n\nAnd the same mercies that we beg for ourselves, we desire for the rest\nof mankind; especially for those who are called by the name of Christ.\nO that every one of these may do his duty with all fidelity! that kings\nmay be tender-hearted, as the fathers of their countries; and all their\nsubjects may be dutiful and obedient to them, as their children; that\nthe pastors of thy church may feed their flocks with true wisdom and\nunderstanding, and the people all may submit unto them, and follow\ntheir godly counsels: that the rich and mighty may have compassion on\nthe poor and miserable; and all such distressed people may bless the\nrich, and rejoice in the prosperity of those that are above them. Give\nto husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants, the\ngrace to behave themselves so in their several relations, that they may\nadorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things, and may receive\nof him a crown of glory: in whose holy name and words, we continue to\nbeseech thy grace and mercy towards us, and all thy people, every where\nsaying, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n WEDNESDAY MORNING.\n\nO GOD, blessed for ever, we thank and praise thee for all thy benefits,\nfor the comforts of this life, and our hope of everlasting salvation in\nthe life to come. We desire to have a lively sense of thy love always\npossessing our hearts, that may still constrain us to love thee, to\nobey thee, to trust in thee, to be content with the portion thy love\nallots unto us, and to rejoice even in the midst of all the troubles of\nthis life.\n\nThou _hast delivered thine own Son for us all. How shalt thou not with\nhim also freely give us all things?_ We depend upon thee especially\nfor the grace of thy holy Spirit. O that we may feel it perpetually\nbearing us up, by the strength of our most holy faith, above all the\ntemptations that may at any time assault us! That we may keep ourselves\nunspotted from the world, and may still cleave to thee in righteousness,\nin lowliness, purity of heart, yea, the whole mind that was in Christ.\n\nLet thy mighty power enable us to do our duty towards thee, and towards\nall men, with care and diligence, and zeal, and perseverance unto the\nend. Help us to be meek and gentle in our conversation, prudent and\ndiscreet in ordering our affairs, observant of thy fatherly providence,\nin every thing that befalls us, thankful for thy benefits, patient\nunder thy chastisements, and readily disposed for every good word and\nwork. Preserve in us a constant remembrance of thy all-seeing eye; of\nthy inestimable love in Jesus Christ, whereof thou hast given us so\nmany pledges, and of the great account we must give to him at the day\nof his appearing; that so we may continue stedfast and unmoveable, and\nbe abundant in the work of the Lord, knowing that our labour shall not\nbe in vain in the Lord.\n\nDeliver us we beseech thee, from worldly cares and foolish desires;\nfrom vain hopes and causeless fears; and so dispose our hearts, that\ndeath itself may not be dreadful to us, but we may welcome it with a\nchearful countenance, when and howsoever it shall approach.\n\nO that our hearts may be so firmly established in grace, that nothing\nmay affright us, or shake our constancy, but we may rather chuse to\ndie than to dishonour him who died for us! We resign ourselves to thy\nwisdom and goodness, who knowest what is best for us; believing thou\n_wilt never suffer us to be tempted above what we are able, and wilt\nwith the temptation also make a way to escape, that we may be able to\nbear it_.\n\nWe commend unto thee all mankind; especially thy church, and more\nparticularly these kingdoms, that we may all believe in our Lord\nJesus Christ, and be zealous of good works. Bless our sovereign,\nhis counsellors, his ministers, and all employed in public business,\nwhether spiritual or civil, that whatsoever they do may be for thy\nglory, and the public good. Be gracious to all that are near and dear\nto us, and keep us all in thy fear and love. Guide us, good Lord, and\ngovern us by the same spirit, that we may be so united to thee here, as\nnot to be divided when thou art pleased to call us hence, but together\nenter into thy glory, to dwell with thee in love and joy that shall\nnever die, through Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour, who hath\ntaught us, when we pray, to say, \u201cOur \u2666Father, &c.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201c-ther\u201d replaced with \u201cFather\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n WEDNESDAY EVENING.\n\nO LORD, _how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them\nall. The day is thine, the night also is thine; thou hast prepared the\nlight and the sun._ We render thee thanks for all the benefits which\nthou hast bestowed on the whole world; especially on us, whom thou\nhast called to the knowledge of thy grace in Christ Jesus. It is a\nmarvellous love wherewith thou hast loved us. Thou hast not dealt so\nwith all people: and as for thy great and precious promises, they have\nnot known them.\n\nAccept, O merciful Father, the good resolutions which thou hast\ninspired us with by thy Spirit. Strengthen them, we beseech thee, with\nthy continued grace, that no sudden desires, vehement inclinations,\nineffectual purposes, no, nor partial performances, may lead us into a\nfalse opinion of ourselves: but that we may bring forth actually, and\nwith a constant spirit, all the fruits of righteousness, which are by\nChrist Jesus.\n\nDeny not, O Lord, the desires of those souls, who would offer\nup themselves entirely to thy service. But preserve us always in\nseriousness of spirit. Let the sense of our weakness make us watchful\nand diligent, the sense of our former negligence, excite us to be\nfervent in spirit, and the goodness of thy commands render us fruitful\nand abundant in the work of the Lord. O that all our pious affections\nmay be turned into actions of piety and holiness: and may all our\nactions be spirited with zeal, and all our zeal regulated with prudence,\nand our prudence void of all guile, and joined with perfect integrity\nof heart: that adorning our most holy faith here, by an upright,\ncharitable and discreet conversation, we may receive praise in the day\nof the Lord, and be numbered with thy saints in glory everlasting.\n\nO lift up our affections to things above, that we may have perfect\ncontentment in well-doing and patient suffering, and the good hope we\nhave of being eternally beloved of thee, may make us rejoice evermore.\nFree us from the cares of the world, from all distrust of thy good\nprovidence, from repining at any thing that befals us, and enable us\nin every thing to give thanks, believing that all things are ordered\nwisely, and shall work together for good.\n\nInto thy hands we commend both our souls and bodies, which thou hast\nmercifully preserved this day. We trust in thy watchful providence, who\n_givest thy angels charge over us_, who _art about our beds, and about\nour paths, and spiest out all our_ thoughts. O continue these holy\nthoughts and desires in us till we fall asleep, that we may receive the\nlight of the morning, if thou prolongest our lives, with a new joy in\nthee, and thankful affection to thee.\n\nWe desire likewise, O God, the good of the whole world. Pity the\nfollies of mankind; deliver them from their miseries, and forgive thou\nall their sins. Hear the groans of every part of the creation, that is\nyet _subject to bondage_, and bring them all _into the glorious liberty\nof the sons_ of God. Hear the daily prayers of the Catholic church.\nFree her from all foul and dividing errors: let the truth as \u2666is in\nJesus, prevail, and _peace be in all her borders_. O that all Christian\ngovernors may _seek peace and ensue it_! Make thy ministers the\nmessengers of peace, and dispose all who are called Christians, to keep\nthe unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.\n\n \u2666 \u201cit\u201d replaced with \u201cis\u201d\n\nEnlighten the minds of all _Jews_, _Turks_, and Infidels. Strengthen\nall thy faithful servants. Bring back them that wander out of the way;\nraise up those that are fallen; confirm those that stand, and grant\nthem steadily to persevere in faith, love and obedience. Relieve and\ncomfort all that are in distress. Let the earth bring forth her fruit\nin due season: and let all honest and industrious people be blest in\ntheir labours.\n\nRemember all those who have done good unto us, and reward them\nsevenfold into their bosom. Grant forgiveness and charity to all our\nenemies; and continue good-will among all our neighbours. Support the\nsick with faith and patience; assist those who are leaving this world.\nReceive the souls which thou hast redeemed with thy Son\u2019s precious\nblood, and sanctified by the Holy Ghost. And give us all a glorious\nresurrection and eternal life. \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n THURSDAY MORNING.\n\nO LORD, the God of our salvation, _thou art the hope of all the ends\nof the earth_. Upon thee the eyes of all do wait; for thou givest unto\nall life and breath and all things. Thou still watchest over us for\ngood; thou daily renewest to us our lives and thy mercies: and thou\nhast given us the assurance of thy word, that if we commit our affairs\nto thee, if we acknowledge thee in all our ways, thou wilt direct our\npaths. We desire, O Lord, to be still under thy gracious conduct and\nfatherly protection. We beg the guidance and help of thy good Spirit,\nto chuse our inheritance for us, and to dispose of us, and all that\nconcerns us, to the glory of thy name.\n\nO Lord, withdraw not thy tender mercies from us, nor the comforts\nof thy presence! Never punish our past sins, by giving us over to\nthe power of our sins: but pardon all our sins, and save us from all\nour iniquities. And grant us, O good God, the continual sense of thy\ngracious acceptance of us, in the Son of thy love, that our souls may\nbless thee, and _all that is within us may praise thy holy name_.\n\nAnd O that we may find the joy of the Lord to be our strength; to\ndefend us from all our sins, and to make us more zealous of every good\nwork: that herein we may _exercise ourselves, to have a conscience\nvoid of offence, both towards God and towards men_. O help _us to walk\ncircumspectly, not as fools, but as wise_, carefully _redeeming the\ntime_, improving all those seasons and means of grace, which thou art\npleased to put into our hands. Sanctify to us all our employments in\nthe world; our crosses also and our comforts; all the estates we go\nthrough, and all the events that befal us, till through the merits of\nthy Son, and the multitude of thy mercies, we are conducted safe to\n_be ever with the Lord_.\n\nThou _hast laid help for us upon one that is mighty_; that is _able\nto save unto the uttermost, all those who come unto God thro\u2019 him_.\nThrough him thou hast encouraged us to come boldly, that we _may obtain\nmercy, and find grace to help in time of need_. Help us, we beseech\nthee, to demean ourselves as becomes the children of God, the redeemed\nof the Lord, the members of Christ. Put thy Spirit within us, causing\nus to walk in thy statutes, and to keep thy judgments, and do them. Yea\nlet it be our meat and drink to do thy will, and to run the way of thy\ncommandments.\n\nO gracious Father, keep us we pray thee, this day in thy fear and\nfavour, and teach us, in all our thoughts, words, and works, to live to\nthy glory. If thou guide us not we go astray; if thou uphold us not, we\nfall. O let thy good providence be our defence, and thy good Spirit our\nguide, and counsellor, and supporter in all our ways. And grant that we\nmay do always what is acceptable in thy sight, through Jesus Christ our\nLord; in whose holy name and words we close these our imperfect prayers:\n\u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\nLet thy grace, O Lord Jesus, thy love, O heavenly Father, and thy\ncomfortable fellowship, O blessed Spirit, be with us, and with all that\ndesire our prayers, this day and for evermore.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n THURSDAY EVENING.\n\nO LORD our God, thy glory is above all our thoughts, and thy mercy is\nover all thy works. We are still living monuments of thy mercy. For\nthou hast not cut us off in our sins, but still givest us a good hope\nand strong consolation thro\u2019 grace. Thou hast sent thy only Son into\nthe world, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish in his\nsins, but have everlasting life. O Lord, we believe: help our unbelief;\nand give us the true _repentance towards_ God, _and faith in our_ Lord\nJesus Christ, that we may be in the number of those, who do indeed\nrepent and _believe to the saving of the soul. Being justified by\nfaith_, let us _have peace with_ God _thro\u2019 our_ Lord Jesus Christ, let\nus _rejoice in him thro\u2019 whom we have now redemption in his blood_; and\nlet _the love of_ God _be shed abroad in our hearts, by the_ Holy Ghost\n_which is given unto us_.\n\nAnd as we pray that thou wilt be to us a father of mercies and a God\nof consolation, so that thou wilt make us _followers of_ God _as dear\nchildren_, ever jealous over our hearts, and watchful over our ways;\ncontinually fearing to offend, and endeavouring to please thee. Thou\nknowest, O Lord, all our temptations, and the sin that doth so easily\nbeset us. Thou knowest the devices of the enemy, and the deceitfulness\nof our own hearts. We pray thee, good Lord, that thou wilt arm us with\nthe whole armour of God. Uphold us with thy free spirit, and watch over\nus for good evermore.\n\nLet our supplications also ascend before thee, for the whole race\nof mankind. Send thy word unto all the ends of the earth, and let it\nbe the savour of life unto all that hear it. Be gracious to this our\nnative land. O do thou rule all our rulers, counsel all our counsellors,\nteach all our teachers, and order all the public affairs to thy\nglory. Turn from us the judgments which we feel or fear; continue\nthy blessings to our souls and bodies, and notwithstanding all our\nprovocations, be thou still our God, and let us be thy people. Have\ncompassion on all the children of affliction, and sanctify thy fatherly\ncorrections to them. Be gracious to all our friends and neighbours.\nReward our benefactors. Bless our relations with the best of thy\nblessings, with thy fear and love. Preserve us from our enemies, and\nreconcile them both to us and to thyself. O that all the habitations\nof Christians may be houses of prayer! And be thou especially kind to\nthe several families where thy blessed name is called upon. Let thy\nblessing rest upon us of this family. Bless all our present estates to\nus; and fit us all for whatsoever thou shall be pleased to call us to.\nO teach us _how to want and how to abound_. In every condition secure\nour hearts to thyself; and make us ever to approve ourselves sincere\nand faithful in thy service.\n\nAnd now, O Father of mercies, be pleased to accept our evening\nsacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. O that thou wouldst imprint and\npreserve upon our hearts a lively sense of all thy kindness to us; that\nour souls may bless thee, and all that is within us may praise thy holy\nname. Yea, let us give thee thanks from the ground of the heart, and\npraise our God, while we have our being, for all thy patience with us,\nthy care over us, and thy continual mercy to us, blessed be thy name, O\nLord God, our heavenly Father, and unto thee, with the Son of thy love,\nand Spirit of grace, be all thanks and praise, now and for evermore.\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n FRIDAY MORNING.\n\nO LORD God, _merciful and gracious, long-suffering and abundant in\ngoodness and truth_; thou _keepest mercy for thousands; thou pardonest\niniquity and transgression and sin. How excellent is thy loving\nkindness, O_ God! _The children of men shall put their trust under\nthe shadow of thy wings!_ And therefore do we still look up to that\nbountiful hand, from whence we have received all our good things. O\nLord our God, be favourable unto us; as thou usest to be unto those\nthat love thy holy name! O look not upon the sin of our nature, nor\nthe sins of our hearts and lives, which are more than we can remember,\nand greater than we can express. It is of the Lord\u2019s mercies that we\nare not consumed, because thy compassions fail not. But thou lookest\nupon the face of thine anointed, who was manifested to take away our\nsins: by whom it is that we have the access unto the Majesty on high.\n\nO God, be merciful to us miserable sinners; for his sake whom _thou\nhast exalted, to be a prince and a Saviour, to give repentance_ unto\nthy people _and forgiveness of sins_. Be merciful O God, be merciful\nunto our souls which have greatly sinned against thee. O heal our\nbackslidings: renew us to repentance: establish our hearts in thy fear\nand love; and establish our goings in thy way, that our footsteps slip\nnot. Let us waver no more; let us never more be weary or faint in our\nminds. Let us not revolt from thee, or turn to folly again, after thou\nhast spoken peace to our souls: but may we go on conquering and to\nconquer all the enemies of our souls, and all the hindrances of our\nsalvation, till thou hast bruised Satan under our feet.\n\nSeeing there is in Christ Jesus an infinite fulness of all that we\ncan want or wish, O that we may all receive of his fulness, grace upon\ngrace! Grace to pardon our sins, and subdue our iniquities; to justify\nour persons, and to sanctify our souls: and to compleat that holy\nchange, that renewal of our hearts, whereby we may be transformed into\nthat blessed image wherein thou didst create us. O make us all meet to\nbe partakers of the inheritance of thy saints in light.\n\nAnd teach us, O God, to use this world without abusing it: and to\nreceive the things needful for the body, without losing our part in thy\nlove, which is better than life itself. Whatever we have of this world,\nO may we have the same with thy leave and love; sanctified to us by the\nword of God and by prayer; and by the right improvement thereof to thy\nglory. And whatever we want of worldly things, leave us not destitute\nof the _things that accompany salvation_; but adorn our souls with all\nsuch graces of thy holy Spirit, that we may adorn the doctrine of God\nour Saviour in all things.\n\nAnd now, that thou hast renewed our lives and thy mercies to us this\nmorning, help us to renew our desires and resolutions, and endeavours\nto live in obedience to thy holy will. O restrain us from the sins into\nwhich we are most prone to fall, and quicken us to the duties we are\nmost averse to perform. And grant that we may think and speak, and will\nand do, the things becoming the children of our heavenly Father; and so\nfind the strong consolation of thy gracious acceptance in Jesus Christ\nour Saviour: who, when we pray, hath taught us to say, \u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n FRIDAY EVENING.\n\nO LORD, thou wast before all, thou art above all, and thy years shall\nnot fail. Thou art the searcher of our hearts. Thou knowest the dulness\nand hardness, the vanity and deceitfulness of them: we were born\nsinners, and so have we lived. We have added sin to sin. We have abused\nthy great and manifold mercies, tempted thy patience, and despised thy\ngoodness. And justly mightest thou have cast us into outer darkness,\nwhere is wailing and gnashing of teeth.\n\nBut of thy loving kindnesses there is no number. Thou still callest\nus to return to thee: and _whosoever cometh to thee, thou wilt in no\nwise cast out_. O meet us with thy heavenly grace, that we may be able\nto come to thee. Be thou graciously pleased to stretch forth thy hand,\nand loose the chains wherewith our souls are entangled. O free us from\nevery weight of sin, from every yoke of bondage. O help us to feel, and\nbewail, and forsake all our sins. And let us never want the comfortable\nassurance of thy forgiveness of them, thy acceptance of us, and thy\nlove to us, in the blessed Son of thy eternal love.\n\nThou art never weary, O Lord, of doing us good. Let us never be weary\nof doing thee service. But as thou hast pleasure in the prosperity of\nthy servants, so let us take pleasure in the service of our Lord, and\nabound in thy work, and in thy love and praise evermore. O fill up all\nthat is wanting, reform whatever is amiss in us, and perfect the thing\nthat concerneth us. Let the witness of thy pardoning love ever abide\nin all our hearts. O speak into every one of our souls the peace which\npasseth all understanding: and let us always look upon thee as our\nFather, reconciled to us in Jesus Christ.\n\nIn his great name we cry unto thee in the behalf of the whole race\nof mankind. O that all the ends of the earth may see the salvation of\nour God. Continue thy mercies to this sinful land; teach us at length\nto know thy will concerning us: and oh! turn thou all our hearts unto\nthee, as the heart of one man. Bless the king; O Lord prolong his days\nand prosper his government; make him always a _terror to evil-doers,\nand a praise to them that do well_. And grant unto all magistrates\nand ministers of thy word, a continual supply of all the needful gifts\nand graces of the holy Spirit. Be thou a father to the fatherless, a\nhusband to the widow, a refuge to the oppressed, a physician to the\nsick, a helper of the friendless, a God of consolation to the sorrowful\nand distressed. Bless to us whatsoever thou art pleased to allot us,\nand every thing that befals us. Make all work for our good, to build us\nup in thy grace, and to help us on to thy glory.\n\nContinue thy fatherly care over us this night. O preserve and defend,\nand bless and keep us, that no evil may befal us, _nor any plague come\nnigh our dwelling_. Give us comfortable sleep to strengthen us for thy\nservice. And whenever thou callest us to the sleep of death, let us\nchearfully resign our spirits into thy hands, through the riches of\nthy grace, and the worthiness of thy Son, in whose merits and mediation\nalone we put our trust. And for all that he hath done and suffered for\nus, to thy name, O blessed God of our salvation, be the praise, and\nhonour, and glory, given by us and all thy people, now and for evermore.\n\u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SATURDAY MORNING.\n\nWE present ourselves before thee, O Lord our God, to pay our tribute of\nprayer and thanksgiving; desiring thee mercifully to accept us and our\nservices, at the hands of Jesus Christ. In his great name we come to\nbeg thy pardon and peace, the increase of thy grace, and the tokens of\nthy love. For we are not worthy of the least of thy mercies. But worthy\nis the Lamb that was slain to take away the sin of the world; for whose\nsake thou wilt give us all things. For he hath fulfilled those holy\nlaws which we had broken, and perfectly satisfied for our offences.\nAnd in him thou art a God gracious and merciful to those who deserve\nnothing but punishment.\n\nO merciful Father, regard not what we have done _against thee_: but\nwhat our blessed Saviour hath done _for us_. Regard not what we have\nmade ourselves; but what he is made unto us of thee our God. O that\nChrist may be to every one of our souls, _wisdom and righteousness,\nsanctification, and redemption_! That his precious _blood_ may _cleanse\nus from all our sins_; and that thy holy Spirit may renew and sanctify\nour souls. May he crucify our flesh with its affections and lusts, and\nmortify all our members which are upon earth. O let not _sin reign in\nour mortal bodies, that we should obey it in the lusts thereof_; but\n_being made free from sin, let us be the servants of righteousness_.\nLet us approve our hearts to thee, and let all our ways be pleasing in\nthy sight.\n\nO teach us to know thee our God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent:\nand enable us to do thy will on earth, as it is done in heaven. Give\nus to fear thee and to love thee, to trust and delight in thee, and\nto cleave to thee with full purpose of heart, that no temptations\nmay draw us or drive us from thee; but that all thy dispensations to\nus and thy dealings with us may be the messengers of thy love to our\nsouls. Quicken us, O Lord, in our dulness, that we may not serve thee\nin a lifeless and listless manner: but may abound in thy work, and be\nfervent in spirit, serving the Lord. And make us faithful in all our\nintercourse with our neighbour, that we may be ready to do good and\nbear evil, that we may be just and kind, merciful and meek, peaceable\nand patient, sober and temperate, humble and self-denying, inoffensive\nand useful in the world; that so glorifying thee here, we may be\nglorified with thee in thy heavenly kingdom.\n\nDay by day we magnify thee, O Lord, who makest every day an addition\nto thy mercies. We bless thee for preserving us the night past, and\nfor the rest thou gavest us therein. O cause us to hear thy loving\nkindness in the morning; for in thee do we trust. Cause us to know the\nway wherein we shall go, for we lift up our souls unto thee. O take\nnot thy holy Spirit from us: but direct all our ways to please thee\nour God. Help us to see thy power, to own thy presence, to admire thy\nwisdom, and to love thy goodness in all thy creatures: and by all, draw\nour hearts still nearer to thee. Such thy mercy and grace we beg for\nourselves, and all ours and thine every where, in our great Mediator\u2019s\nblessed words.\n\n\u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n * * * * *\n\n\n SATURDAY EVENING.\n\nO LORD our God, thou art infinitely good, and thou hast shewed us what\nis good. Thou sendest out thy light and thy truth, that they may guide\nus, and makest plain thy way before our face. Thou givest us many\nopportunities and advantages, to quicken and further us in thy service.\nWe have _line upon line_, and _precept upon precept_; thy messengers\nearly and late, to open and apply thy word, to call and warn, to direct\nand exhort us with all long-suffering. But how little have we improved\nall the precious talents, which thou hast put into our hands! O Lord,\nthou mightest justly take away the gospel of thy kingdom from us, and\ngive it unto another people, who would bring forth the fruits thereof.\nBecause thou hast called and we refused, thou hast stretched forth\nthy hands, and we have not regarded, thou mightest leave us to our own\nperverseness and impenitence, till our iniquities became our ruin.\n\nBut, O Lord God, enter not thus into judgment with thy servants. Pardon\nall our contempt of thy word, and our not profiting thereby. And help\nus for the time to come, better to improve the blessed opportunities\nset before us. _As the rain descends from heaven and returns not\nthither, but waters the earth and maketh it fruitful: so let not thy\nword return unto thee void, but prosper in the work whereunto thou\nsendest it._ O make it effectual to build us all up, in the true fear\nand love of God, and in the right knowledge and faith of our Lord Jesus\nChrist.\n\nO gracious God, may thy Spirit cause thy word to work thoroughly and\nsuccessfully in all our hearts. And as we daily _receive, how we ought\nto walk and to please thee_ our God; so help us to _walk worthy of the\nLord, unto all well-pleasing_: increasing in the knowledge and love of\nthee, and abounding more and more in every good work, which is pleasing\nin thy sight, through Jesus Christ.\n\nAt his hands, O Lord our God, we beg thy gracious acceptance, of our\nhumble praise and thanksgiving, for all thy blessings, spiritual and\ntemporal, so freely conferred upon us. We praise thee for all the\ncomforts and conveniencies of this life, and for all the means and\nhopes of a better: particularly for what we have received this day; the\nfood of our souls set before us; the word of salvation sounding in our\nears, and the Spirit of God striving with our hearts. O withdraw not\nthy tender mercies from us, but still continue thy accustomed goodness,\nand increase thy grace and heavenly blessings upon us, and rejoice over\nus to do us good.\n\nIn mercy pass by all which thy most pure and holy eyes have seen amiss\nin us this day. Forgive the iniquities of our holy things; overlook\nall our sins and failings, through our great Mediator and Redeemer,\nwho ever lives at thy right-hand to make intercession for us. And for\nJesus Christ, and all which thou art pleased to give us together with\nhim; _not unto us, O Lord, but unto thy name_ be all the praise and\nhonour and glory, humbly ascribed by us, and all thy church, now and\nfor evermore!\n\n\u201cOur Father, &c.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n An ADDRESS to the\n CLERGY.\n\n\n_Brethren and Fathers_,\n\nLET it not be imputed to forwardness, vanity or presumption, that one\nwho is of little esteem in the church, takes upon him thus to address\na body of people, to many of whom he owes the highest reverence. I owe\na still higher regard to him who I believe requires this at my hands;\nto the great bishop of our souls; before whom both you and I must\nshortly give an account of our stewardship. It is a debt I owe to love,\nto real, disinterested affection, to declare what has long been the\nburden of my soul. And may the God of love enable you to read these\nlines, in the same spirit wherewith they were wrote! It will easily\nappear to an unprejudiced reader, that I do not speak from a spirit\nof anger or resentment. I know well, _the wrath of man worketh not\nthe righteousness of God_. Much less would I utter one word out of\n_contempt_; a spirit justly abhorred by God and man. Neither of these\ncan consist with that earnest, tender love, which is the motive of my\npresent undertaking. In this spirit I desire to _cast_ my _bread upon\nthe waters_; it is enough, if I _find it again after many days_.\n\nMeantime you are sensible, love does not forbid, but rather require\nplainness of speech. Has it not often constrained you as well as me,\nto lay aside not only disguise, but reserve also? And _by manifestation\nof the truth to commend ourselves to every man\u2019s conscience in the\nsight of God_? And while I endeavour to do this, let me earnestly\nentreat you, for the love of God, for the love of your own soul, for\nthe love of the souls committed to your charge, yea, and of the whole\nchurch of _Christ_, do not bias your mind, by thinking _who_ it is\nthat speaks; but impartially consider, _what_ is spoken. And if it be\nfalse or foolish, reject it: but do not reject _the words of truth and\nsoberness_.\n\nMy first design was, to offer a few plain thoughts to the clergy of our\nown church only. But upon farther reflection, I see no cause for being\nso _straitened in my own bowels_. I am a debtor to all: and therefore\nthough I primarily speak to them with whom I am more immediately\nconnected, yet I would not be understood to exclude any, of whatsoever\ndenomination, whom God has called to _watch over the souls of others,\nas they that must give account_.\n\nIn order to our giving this account with joy, are there not two things\nwhich it highly imports us to consider, _first_, What manner of men\nought we to be? _Secondly_, Are we such, or are we not?\n\nI. And, _first_, If we are _overseers over the church of God, which he\nhath bought with his own blood_, what manner of men ought we to be, in\n_gifts_ as well as in _grace_?\n\n(1.) To begin with _gifts_, and 1.\u00a0with those that are from _nature_.\nOught not a minister to have, _1st_, A good understanding? A clear\napprehension, a sound judgment, and a capacity of reasoning with some\ncloseness? Is not this necessary in an high degree for the work of\nthe ministry? Otherwise how will he be able to understand the various\nstates of those under his care? Or to steer them through a thousand\ndifficulties and dangers, to the haven where they would be? Is it\nnot necessary, with respect to the numerous enemies whom he has to\nencounter? Can a fool cope with all the men that know not God? And\nwith all the spirits of darkness? Nay, he will neither be aware of\nthe devices of _Satan_, nor the craftiness of his children.\n\n_2dly_, Is it not highly expedient that a guide of souls should have\nlikewise some liveliness and readiness of thought? Or how will he be\nable, when need requires, to _answer a fool according to his folly_?\nHow frequent is this need? Seeing we almost every where meet with those\nempty, yet petulant creatures, who are far _wiser in their own eyes,\nthan seven men that can render a reason_. Reasoning therefore is not\nthe weapon to be used with them. You cannot deal with them thus. They\nscorn being _convinced_; nor can they be _silenced_, but in their own\nway.\n\n_3dly_, To a sound understanding, and a lively turn of thought, should\nbe joined a good _memory_: if it may be, _ready_, that you may make\nwhatever occurs in reading or conversation, your own; but however,\n_retentive_, lest we be _ever learning, and never able to come to the\nknowledge of the truth_. On the contrary, _every scribe instructed unto\nthe kingdom of heaven_, every teacher fitted for his work, _is like an\nhousholder who bringeth out of his treasures things new and old_.\n\n2. And as to _acquired endowments_, can he take one step aright,\nwithout, first, a competent share of _knowledge_? A knowledge, _1st_,\nof his own office; of the high trust in which he stands, the important\nwork to which he is called? Is there any hope that a man should\ndischarge his office well, if he knows not what it is? That he should\nacquit himself faithfully of a trust, the very nature whereof he does\nnot understand? Nay: if he _knows_ not the work God has given him to\ndo, he cannot _finish_ it.\n\n_2dly_, No less necessary is a knowledge of the _scriptures_, which\nteach us how to teach others: yea, a knowledge of all the scriptures;\nseeing scripture interprets scripture; one part fixing the sense of\nanother. So that whether it be true or not, that every good textuary\nis a good divine, it is certain, none can be a good divine who is not\na good textuary. None else can be _mighty in the scriptures_; able both\nto instruct, and to stop the mouths of gainsayers.\n\nIn order to do this accurately, ought he not to know the literal\nmeaning of every word, verse and chapter, without which there can be\nno firm foundation on which the spiritual meaning can be built? Should\nhe not likewise be able to deduce the proper corollaries, speculative\nand practical, from each text; to solve the difficulties which arise,\nand answer the objections which are or may be raised against it; and to\nmake a suitable application of all, to the consciences of his hearers?\n\n_3dly_, But can he do this, in the most effectual manner, without\na knowledge of the _original tongues_? Without this, will he not\nfrequently be at a stand, even as to texts which regard practice\nonly? But he will be under still greater difficulties, with respect\nto controverted scriptures. He will be ill able to rescue these out of\nthe hands of any man of learning that would pervert them: for whenever\nan appeal is made to the original, his mouth is stopt at once.\n\n_4thly_, Is not a knowledge of profane _history_ likewise, of antient\ncustoms, of chronology and geography, tho\u2019 not absolutely necessary,\nyet highly expedient for him that would throughly understand the\nscriptures? Since the want even of this knowledge is but poorly\nsupplied by reading the comments of other men.\n\n_5thly_, Some knowledge of the _sciences_ also, is (to say the least)\nequally _expedient_. Nay, may we not say, that the knowledge of one\n(whether art or science) altho\u2019 now quite unfashionable, is even\n_necessary_, next, and in order to, the knowledge of the scripture\nitself? I mean, _logic_. For what is this, if rightly understood,\nbut the _art of good sense_? Of apprehending things clearly, judging\ntruly, and reasoning conclusively? What is it, viewed in another\nlight, but the _art of learning and teaching_? Whether by convincing\nor persuading? What is there then, in the whole compass of _science_,\nto be desired in comparison of it?\n\nIs not some acquaintance with what has been termed The second part\nof logic, _metaphysicks_, if not so necessary as this, yet highly\nexpedient, 1.\u00a0In order to clear our apprehension (without which it\nis impossible either to judge correctly, or to reason closely or\nconclusively) by ranging our ideas under general heads: and, 2.\u00a0In\norder to understand many useful writers, who can very hardly be\nunderstood without it?\n\nShould not a minister be acquainted too with at least the general\ngrounds of _natural philosophy_? Is not this a great help to the\naccurate understanding several passages of scripture? Assisted by this,\nhe may himself comprehend, and on proper occasions explain to others,\nhow _the invisible things of |God| are seen from the creation of the\nworld? how the heavens declare the glory of |God|, and the firmament\nsheweth his handy work_: till they cry out, _O |Lord|, how manifold are\nthy works! In wisdom hast thou made them all._\n\nBut how far can he go in this, without some knowledge of _geometry_?\nwhich is likewise useful, not barely on this account, but to give\nclearness of apprehension, and an habit of thinking closely and\nconnectedly.\n\nIt must be allowed indeed, that some of these branches of knowledge are\nnot so indispensably necessary as the rest; and therefore no thinking\nman will condemn the fathers of the Church, for having in all ages\nand nations, appointed some to the ministry, who suppose they had the\ncapacity, yet had not had the opportunity of attaining them. But what\nexcuse is this, for one who has the opportunity, and makes no use of\nit? What can be urged for a person who has had an university education,\nif he does not understand them all? Certainly, supposing him to have\nany capacity, to have common understanding, he is inexcusable before\nGod and man.\n\n_6thly_, Can any who spend several years in those seats of learning, be\nexcused, if they do not add to that of the _languages_ and _sciences_,\nthe knowledge of the _fathers_? The most authentic commentators on\nscripture, as being both nearest the fountain, and eminently endued\nwith that spirit by whom _all scripture was given_? It will be easily\nperceived, I speak chiefly of those who wrote before the council of\n_Nice_. But who would not likewise desire to have some acquaintance\nwith those that followed them? With St. _Chrysostom_, _Basil_, _Jerome_,\n_Austin_; and above all, the man of a broken heart, _Ephraim Syrus_.\n\n_7thly_, There is yet another branch of knowledge highly necessary\nfor a clergyman, and that is, _knowledge of the world_; a knowledge of\nmen, of their maxims, tempers and manners, such as they occur in real\nlife. Without this he will be liable to receive much hurt, and capable\nof doing little good; as he will not know, either how to deal with\nmen, according to the vast variety of their characters; or to preserve\nhimself from those, who almost in every place lie in wait to deceive.\n\nHow nearly allied to this, is, _the discernment of spirits_? so far as\nit may be acquired by diligent observation. And can a guide of souls be\nwithout it? If he is, is he not liable to stumble at every step?\n\n_8thly_, Can he be without an eminent share of _prudence_? that most\nuncommon thing which is usually called _common sense_? But how shall\nwe define it? Shall we say, with the schools, that it is, _recta ratio\nrerum agibilium particularium_? Or is it, an habitual consideration of\nall the circumstances of a thing?\n\n _Quis, quid, ubi, quibus auxiliis, cur, quomodo quando?_\n\nAnd a facility of adapting our behaviour to the various combinations\nof them? However it be defined, should it not be studied with all care,\nand pursued with all earnestness of application? For what terrible\ninconveniences ensue, whenever it is remarkably wanting?\n\n_9thly_, Next to _prudence_ or _common sense_ (if it be not\nincluded therein) a clergyman ought certainly to have some degree of\n_good-breeding_: I mean, address, easiness and propriety of behaviour,\nwherever his lot is cast: perhaps one might add, he should have (tho\u2019\nnot the stateliness; _for he is the servant of all_, yet) all the\n_courtesy_ of a _gentleman_, joined with the correctness of a _scholar_.\nDo we want a pattern of this? We have one in St. _Paul_, even before\n_Felix_, _Festus_, King _Agrippa_. One can scarce help thinking, he was\none of the best bred men, one of the finest gentlemen in the world. O\nthat we likewise had the skill to _please all men, for their good unto\nedification_!\n\nIn order to this, especially in our public ministrations, would not\none wish for a _strong, clear_, musical _voice_, and a _good delivery_,\nboth with regard to pronunciation and action? I name these here because\nthey are far more acquirable, than has been commonly imagined. A\n\u2666remarkably weak and untuneable voice has by steady application become\nstrong and agreeable. Those who stammered almost at every word, have\nlearned to speak clearly and plainly. And many who were eminently\nungraceful in their pronunciation, and aukward in their gesture, have\nin some time by art and labour not only corrected that aukwardness of\naction, and ungracefulness of utterance, but have become excellent in\nboth, and in these respects likewise the ornaments of their profession.\n\n \u2666 \u201cremarkable\u201d replaced with \u201cremarkably\u201d per Errata\n\nWhat may greatly encourage those who give themselves up to the work,\nwith regard to all these endowments, many of which cannot be attained\nwithout considerable labour, is this: they are assured of being\nassisted in all their labour, by him who _teacheth man knowledge_. And\n_who teacheth like him_? Who, like him, _giveth wisdom to the simple_?\nHow easy is it for him, (if we desire it, and _believe_ that he is both\nable and willing _to do this_) by the powerful tho\u2019 secret influences\nof his Spirit, to open and enlarge our understanding; to strengthen\nall our faculties; to bring to our remembrance whatsoever things are\nneedful, and to fix and sharpen our attention to them; so that we\nmay profit above all who depend wholly on themselves, in whatever may\nqualify us for our masters work.\n\n(2.) But all these things, however great they may be in themselves,\nare little in comparison of those that follow. For what are all other\n_gifts_, whether natural or acquired, when compared to the _grace_ of\nGod? And how ought this to animate and govern the whole _intention_,\n_affection_, and _practice_ of a minister of _Christ_.\n\n1. As to his _intention_, both in undertaking this important office,\nand in executing every part of it, ought it not to be singly this, to\nglorify God, and to save souls from death? Is not this absolutely and\nindispensably necessary, before all and above all things? _If_ his\n_eye be single, his whole body_, his whole soul, his whole work _will\nbe full of light_. God _who commanded light to shine out of darkness_,\nwill _shine on his heart_; will direct him in all his ways, will\ngive him to see the travel of his soul and be satisfied. But if his\neye, his intention be not single, if there be any mixture of meaner\nmotives, (how much more, if those were or are his _leading motives_\nin undertaking or exercising this high office?) his _whole body_, his\nwhole soul will _be full of darkness_, even such as issues from _the\nbottomless pit_: let not such a man think, that he shall have any\nblessing from the Lord. No: The curse of God abideth on him. Let him\nnot expect to enjoy any settled peace, any solid comfort in his own\nbreast: neither can he hope, there will be any fruit of his labours,\nany sinners converted unto God.\n\n*2. As to his _affections_. Ought not a _steward of the mysteries of_\nGod, a shepherd of the souls for whom _Christ_ died, to be endued with\nan eminent measure of love to God, and love to all his brethren? A love\nthe same in kind, but in degree far beyond that of ordinary Christians?\nCan he otherwise answer the high character he bears, and the relation\nwherein he stands? Without this, how can he go through all the toils\nand difficulties which necessarily attend the faithful execution of\nhis office? Would it be possible for a parent to go through the pain\nand fatigue of bearing and bringing up even one child, were it not for\nthat vehement affection, that inexpressible \u03a3\u03c4\u03bf\u03c1\u03b3\u1f74, which the Creator\nhas given for that very end? How much less will it be possible for\nany pastor, any spiritual parent to go through the pain and labour\nof _travailing in birth for_, and bringing up many children, to the\nmeasure of the full stature of _Christ_, without a large measure of\nthat inexpressible affection, which _a \u2666stranger intermeddleth not\nwith_?\n\n \u2666 \u201cstraning\u201d replaced with \u201cstranger\u201d\n\nHe therefore must be utterly void of understanding, must be a madman of\nthe highest order, who on any consideration whatever, undertakes this\noffice, while he is a stranger to this affection. Nay, I have often\nwondered that any man in his senses, does not rather dig or thresh for\na livelihood, than continue therein, unless he feels at least (which\nis _extrem\u00e2 line\u00e2 amare_) such an earnest concern for the glory of God,\nand such a thirst after the salvation of souls, that he is ready to do\nany thing, to lose any thing, or to suffer any thing, rather than one\nshould perish for whom _Christ_ died.\n\nAnd is not even this degree of love to God and man utterly inconsistent\nwith the love of the world? With the love of money or praise? With the\nvery lowest degree of either ambition or sensuality? How much less can\nit consist with that poor, low, irrational, childish principle, the\nlove of diversions? (Surely even a _man_, were he neither a minister,\nnor a Christian, should _put away childish things_.) Not only this, but\nthe love of pleasure, and what lies still deeper in the soul, the love\nof ease, flees before it.\n\n*3. As to his _practice. Unto the ungodly, saith_ God, _why dost thou\npreach my laws_? What is a minister of _Christ_, a shepherd of souls,\nunless he is all devoted to God? Unless he abstain with the utmost care\nand diligence, from every evil word and work; from all appearance of\nevil; yea, from the most innocent things, whereby any might be offended\nor made weak? Is he not called above others, to be an _example to the\nflock_, in his private as well as public character? An example of all\nholy and heavenly tempers, filling the heart so as to shine through the\nlife? Consequently, is not his whole life, if he walks worthy of his\ncalling one incessant labour of love? One continued tract of praising\nGod, and helping man? One series of thankfulness and beneficence? Is\nhe not always humble, always serious, tho\u2019 rejoicing evermore; mild,\ngentle, patient, abstinent? May you not resemble him to a guardian\nangel, ministering to those _who shall be heirs of salvation_? Is he\nnot one sent forth from God, to stand between God and man, to \u2666guard\nand assist the poor, helpless children of men, to supply them both with\nlight and strength, to guide them through a thousand known and unknown\ndangers, \u2019till at the appointed time he returns with those committed to\nhis charge, to his and their Father who is in heaven?\n\n \u2666 \u201cgaurd\u201d replaced with \u201cguard\u201d\n\n*O who is able to describe such a messenger of God, faithfully\nexecuting his high office? Working together with God, with the great\nAuthor both of the old and new creation! See his Lord the eternal\nSon of God, going forth on that work of omnipotence, and creating\nheaven and earth by the breath of his mouth! See the servant whom he\ndelighteth to honour, fulfilling the counsel of his will, and in his\nname speaking the word whereby is raised a new spiritual creation.\nImpowered by him, he says to the dark, unformed void of nature, _let\nthere be light: and there is light. Old things are passed away: behold\nall things are become new._ He is continually employed, in what the\nangels of God have not the honour to do, co-operating with the Redeemer\nof men, in _bringing many children to glory_.\n\nSuch is a true minister of _Christ_. And such, beyond all possibility\nof dispute, ought both you and I to be.\n\nII. But are we such? What are we in the respects above named? It is a\nmelancholy, but necessary consideration. It is true, many have wrote\nupon this subject; and some of them admirably well. Yet few, if any,\nat least in our nation, have carried their enquiry through all these\nparticulars. Neither have they always spoken so plain and home, as\nthe nature of the thing required. But why did they not? Was it because\nthey were unwilling to give pain to those whom they loved? Or were\nthey hindered by fear of disobliging? Or of incurring any temporal\ninconvenience? Miserable fear! Is any temporal inconvenience whatever\nto be laid in the ballance with the souls of our brethren? Or were\nthey prevented by shame, arising from a consciousness of their own\nmany and great defects? Undoubtedly this might extenuate the fault, but\nnot altogether remove it. For is it not a wise advice, _Be not ashamed\nwhen it concerneth thy soul_? Especially, when it concerns the souls of\nthousands also? In such a case may God\n\n \u201cSet as a flint our steady face,\n \u201cHarden to adamant our brow!\u201d\n\nBut is there not another hindrance? Should not compassion, should not\ntenderness hinder us from giving pain? Yes, from giving unnecessary\npain. But what manner of tenderness is this? It is like that of a\nsurgeon who lets his patient be lost, because he is too compassionate\nto probe his wounds. Cruel compassion! Let me give pain, so I may save\nlife. Let me probe, that God may heal.\n\n(1.) Are we then such as we are sensible we should be, _1st_, With\nregard to natural endowments? I am afraid not. If we were, how many\nstumbling-blocks would be removed out of the way of serious infidels?\nAlas, what terrible effects do we continually see of that common, tho\u2019\nsenseless imagination, \u201cThe boy, if he is fit for nothing else, will\ndo well enough for a parson?\u201d Hence it is, that we see (I would to God\nthere were no such instance in all _Great-Britain_, or _Ireland_) dull,\nheavy, blockish ministers; men of no life, no spirit; no _readiness_\nof _thought_; who are consequently the jest of every pert fool, every\nlively, airy coxcomb they meet. We see others whose _memory_ can retain\nnothing: therefore they can never be men of considerable knowledge.\nThey can never know much even of those things which they are more\nnearly concerned to know. Alas they are pouring the water into a leaky\nvessel; and the broken cistern can hold no water. I do not say, with\n_Plato_, That \u201call human knowledge is nothing but _remembring._\u201d Yet\ncertain it is, that without _remembring_, we can have but a small share\nof knowledge. And even those who enjoy the most retentive memory, find\ngreat reason still to complain,\n\n \u201cSkill comes so slow, and life so fast does fly;\n \u201cWe learn so little, and forget so much.\u201d\n\nAnd yet we see and bewail a still greater defect, in some that are in\nthe ministry. They want _sense_; they are defective in _understanding_;\ntheir capacity is low and shallow: their apprehension is muddy and\nconfused: of consequence they are utterly incapable, either of forming\na true judgment of things, or of reasoning justly upon any thing. O\nhow can these who themselves know nothing aright, impart knowledge to\nothers? How instruct them in all the variety of duty, to God, their\nneighbour, and themselves? How will they guide them through all the\nmazes of error, through all the intanglements of sin and temptation?\nHow will they apprize them of the _devices of_ Satan, and guard them\nagainst all _the wisdom of the world_?\n\nIt is easy to perceive, I do not speak this for _their_ sake; (for they\nare incorrigible) but for the sake of parents, that they may open their\neyes and see, A blockhead can never \u201c_do well enough_ for a parson.\u201d\nHe may do well enough for a tradesman; so well as to gain fifty or an\nhundred thousand pounds. He may do well enough for a soldier; nay, (if\nyou pay well for it) for a very well-drest and well-mounted officer.\nHe may do well enough for a sailor, and may shine on the quarter-deck\nof a man of war. He may do so well, in the capacity of a lawyer or\nphysician, as to ride in his gilt chariot. But O! think not of his\nbeing a minister, unless you would bring a blot upon your family, a\nscandal upon our church, and a reproach on the gospel, which he may\nmurder, but cannot teach.\n\nAre we such as we are sensible we should be, _2dly_, With regard\nto _acquired endowments_? Here the matter (suppose we have common\nunderstanding) lies more directly within our own power. But under\nthis, as well as the following heads, methinks, I would not consider\nat all, how _many_ or how _few_, are either excellent or defective. I\nwould only desire every person who reads this, to apply it to himself.\nCertainly some one in the nation is defective. Am not I the man?\n\nLet us each seriously examine himself. Have I 1.\u00a0Such a _knowledge of\nscripture_, as becomes him who undertakes so to explain it to others,\nthat it may _be a light in all their paths_? Have I a full and clear\nview of the analogy of faith, which is the clue to guide me through\nthe whole? Am I acquainted with the several parts of scripture; with\nall parts of the Old Testament and the New? Upon the mention of any\ntext, do I know the context, and the parallel places? Have I that\npoint at least of a good divine, the being a good textuary? Do I know\nthe grammatical construction of the four gospels? Of the acts? Of the\nepistles? And am I a master of the spiritual sense (as well as the\nliteral) of what I read? Do I understand the scope of each book, and\nhow every part of it tends thereto? Have I skill to draw the natural\ninferences deducible from each text? Do I know the objections raised to\nthem or from them by _Jews_, _Deists_, _Papists_, _Arians_, _Socinians_,\nand all other sectaries, who more or less _corrupt_ or _cauponize the\nword of_ God? Am I ready to give a satisfactory answer to each of these\nobjections? And have I learned to _apply_ every part of the sacred\nwritings, as the various states of my hearers require?\n\n2. Do I understand _Greek_ and _Hebrew_? Otherwise how can I undertake\n(as every minister does) not only to explain books which are written\ntherein, but to defend them against all opponents? Am I not at the\nmercy of every one who does understand, or even pretends to understand\nthe original? For which way can I confute his pretence? Do I understand\nthe language of the Old Testament? Critically? At all? Can I read\ninto _English_ one of _David\u2019s psalms_? Or even the first chapter of\n_Genesis_? Do I understand the language of the New Testament? Am I a\ncritical master of it? Have I enough of it even to read into _English_\nthe first chapter of St. _Luke_? If not, how many years did I spend\nat school? How many at the university? And what was I doing all those\nyears? Ought not shame to cover my face?\n\n*3. Do I understand _my own office_? Have I deeply considered before\nGod the character which I bear? What is it to be an ambassador of\nChrist? An envoy from the King of heaven? And do I know and _feel_ what\nis implied in _watching over the souls_ of men, _as he that must give\naccount_?\n\nDo I understand so much of profane _history_ as tends to confirm and\nillustrate the sacred? Am I acquainted with the antient _customs_ of\nthe _Jews_ and other nations mentioned in scripture? Have I a competent\nknowledge of _chronology_, that at least which refers to the sacred\nwritings? And am I so far (if no farther) skilled in _geography_, as\nto know the situation, and give some account of all the considerable\nplaces mentioned therein?\n\n5. Am I a tolerable master of the _sciences_? Have I gone through the\nvery gate of them, _logic_? If not, I am not likely to go much farther,\nwhen I stumble at the threshold. Do I understand it, so as to be ever\nthe better for it? To have it always ready for use? So as to apply\nevery rule of it, when occasion is, almost as naturally as I turn my\nhand? Do I understand it at all? Are not even the _moods_ and _figures_\nabove my comprehension? Do not I poorly endeavour to cover my ignorance,\nby affecting to laugh at their barbarous names? Can I even reduce\nan _indirect_ mood to a _direct_? An _hypothetic_ to a _categorical_\nsyllogism? Rather, have not my stupid indolence and laziness, made\nme very ready to believe what the little wits and pretty gentlemen\naffirm, \u201cThat logic is good for nothing?\u201d It is good for this at least\n(wherever it is understood) to make people _talk less_; by shewing\nthem both what is, and what is not to the point; and how extremely\nhard it is to _prove_ any thing. Do I understand _metaphysics_? If not\nthe depths of the schoolmen, the subtleties of _Scotus_ or _Aquinas_,\nyet the first rudiments, the general principles of that useful\n_science_? Have I conquered so much of it, as to clear my apprehension\nand range my ideas under proper heads? So much as enables me to read\nwith ease and pleasure as well as profit, Dr. _Henry More_\u2019s Works,\n_Malebranche\u2019s Search after Truth_, and Dr. _Clark\u2019s Demonstration of\nthe Being and Attributes of God_? Do I understand _natural philosophy_?\nIf I have not gone deep therein, have I digested the general grounds\nof it? Have I mastered _Gravesande_, _Keil_, Sir _Isaac Newton\u2019s\nPrincipia_, with his _Theory of Light and Colours_? In order thereto,\nhave I laid in some stock of _mathematical_ knowledge? Am I master of\nthe mathematical A B C, of _Euclid\u2019s Elements_? If I have not gone thus\nfar, if I am such a novice still, what have I been about ever since I\ncame from school?\n\n6. Am I acquainted with the _fathers_? At least with those venerable\nmen, who lived in the earliest ages of the church? Have I read over\nand over the golden remains of _Clemens Romanus_, of _Ignatius_ and\n_Polycarp?_ And have I given one reading, at least, to the works of\n_Justin Martyr_, _Tertullian_, _Origen_, _Clemens Alexandrinus_ and\n_Cyprian_?\n\n7. Have I any knowledge of the _world_? Have I studied _men_ (as\nwell as books) and observed their tempers, maxims and manners? Have I\nlearned, to _beware of men_? To add the wisdom of the serpent to the\ninnocence of the dove? Has God given me by nature, or have I acquired,\nany measure of the _discernment of spirits_? Or of its near ally,\n_prudence_, enabling me on all occasions to consider all circumstances,\nand to suit and vary my behaviour according to the various combinations\nof them? Do I labour never to be rude or ill-mannered? Not to be\nremarkably wanting in _good-breeding_? Do I endeavour to copy after\nthose who are eminent for address and easiness of behaviour? Am I (tho\u2019\nnever light or trifling, either in word or action, yet) _affable_ and\n_courteous_ to all men? And do I omit no means which is in my power,\nand consistent with my character, of _pleasing all men_ with whom I\nconverse, _for their good, to edification_?\n\nIf I am wanting even in these lowest endowments, shall I not frequently\nregret the want? How often shall I move heavily, and be far less useful\nthan I might have been? How much more shall I suffer in my usefulness,\nif I have wasted the opportunities I once had of acquainting myself\nwith the great lights of antiquity, the _Antenicene_ fathers? Or if I\nhave droned away those precious hours, wherein I might have made myself\nmaster of the _sciences_? How poorly must I many times drag on, for\nwant of the helps which I have vilely cast away? But is not my case\nstill worse, if I have loitered away the time wherein I should have\nperfected myself in _Greek_ and _Hebrew_? I might before this have been\ncritically acquainted with the treasuries of sacred knowledge. But they\nare now hid from my eyes; they are close locked up, and I have no key\nto open them. However, have I used all possible diligence to supply\nthat grievous defect, (so far as it can be supplied now) by the most\naccurate knowledge of the _English_ scriptures? Do I meditate therein\nday and night? Do I think (and consequently speak) thereof, _when I sit\nin the house, and when I walk by the way; when I lie down, and when I\nrise up_? By this means have I at length attained a thorough knowledge\nas of the sacred text, so of its literal and spiritual meaning?\nOtherwise how can I attempt to instruct others therein? Without this,\nI am _a blind guide_ indeed! I am absolutely incapable of teaching my\nflock, what I have never learned myself: no more fit to lead souls to\nGod, than I am to govern the world.\n\n(2.) And yet there is a higher consideration than that of _gifts_;\nhigher than any or all of these joined together; a consideration in\nview of which all _external_ and all _intellectual endowments_ vanish\ninto nothing. Am I such as I ought to be, with regard to the _grace_ of\nGod? The Lord God enable me to judge aright of this!\n\nAnd 1. What was my _intention_ in taking upon me this office and\nministry? What was it, in taking charge of this parish, either as\nminister or curate? Was it always, and is it now, wholly and solely,\nto glorify God, and save souls? Has my eye been singly fixed on this,\nfrom the beginning hitherto? Had I never, have I not now, any mixture\nin my intention; any alloy of baser metal? Had I, or have I no thought\nof worldly gain? _Filthy lucre_, as the apostle terms it. Had I at\nfirst, have I now, no secular view? No eye to honour or preferment? To\na plentiful income? Or, at least, a competency? A warm and comfortable\nlivelihood?\n\n*Alas, my brother! _If the light that is in thee be darkness, how great\nis that darkness?_ Was a _comfortable livelihood_ then your motive for\nentering into the ministry? And do you avow this in the face of the sun,\nand without one blush upon your cheek? I cannot compare you with _Simon\nMagus_: you are many degrees beneath him. He offered to _give money_\nfor the _gift of_ God, the power of conferring the Holy Ghost. Hereby\nhowever he shewed, that he set an higher value on _the gift_ than on\nthe _money_ which he would have parted with for it. But you do not:\nyou set a far higher value on _the money_ than on _the gift_; insomuch\nthat you do not desire, you will not accept of _the gift_, unless _the\nmoney_ accompany it! The bishop said, when you was ordained, \u201cReceive\nthou the Holy Ghost.\u201d But that was the least of your care. Let who will\nreceive this, so you receive the money, the revenue of a good benefice.\nWhile you minister the word and sacraments before God, he gives the\nHoly Ghost to those who duly receive them: so that _through your hands_\nlikewise _the Holy Ghost is_ in this sense _given_ now. But you have\nlittle concern whether he be or not: so little, that you will minister\nno longer, he shall be given no more either through your lips or hands,\nif you have no more money for your labour. O _Simon_, _Simon_! what\na saint wert thou, compared to many of the most honourable men now in\nChristendom?\n\nLet not any either ignorantly or wilfully mistake me. I would _not\nmuzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn_. I know the spiritual\n_labourer_ too _is worthy of his reward_; and that if _we sow_ unto\nour flock _spiritual things_, it is meet that we _reap of their carnal\nthings_. I do not therefore blame, no, not in any degree, a minister\u2019s\n_taking_ a yearly salary: but I blame his _seeking_ it. The thing\nblameable is, the having it in his view, as the motive, or any part\nof the motive, for entering into this sacred office.\n\n _Hic nigr\u00e6 succus loliginis, h\u00e6c est \u00c6rugo mera._\n\nIf preferment, or honour, or profit was in his eye, his _eye_ was not\n_single_. And our Lord knew no medium between a _single_ and an _evil\neye_. The _eye_ therefore which is not _single_ is _evil_. It is a\nplain, adjudged case. He then that has any other design in undertaking\nor executing the office of a minister, than purely this, to glorify God\nand save souls, his eye is not _single_. Of consequence, it is _evil_;\nand therefore his _whole body_ must be _full of darkness. The light\nwhich is in_ him _is_ very _darkness_: darkness covers his whole soul:\nhe has no solid peace: he has no blessing from God: And there is no\nfruit of his labours.\n\nIt is no wonder, that they who _see no harm_ in this, see no harm in\nadding one _living_ to another, and, if they can, another to that; yet\nstill _wiping their mouth_, and saying, they _have done no evil_. In\nthe very first step, their _eye_ was _not single_: therefore their mind\nwas filled with darkness. So they stumble on still in the same mire,\ntill their feet _stumble on the dark mountains_.\n\n*It is pleaded indeed, That \u201ca small living will not maintain a large\nfamily.\u201d Maintain? How? It will not _cloath_ them _in purple and fine\nlinen_; nor enable them to _fare sumptuously every day_. But will not\nthe living _you_ have now, afford you and yours the plain necessaries,\nyea and conveniencies of life? Will it not maintain you in the frugal,\nChristian simplicity, which becomes a minister of _Christ_? It will not\nmaintain you in pomp and grandeur, in elegant luxury, in fashionable\nsensuality. So much the better. If your eyes were open, whatever your\nincome was, you would flee from these as from hell-fire.\n\nIt has been pleaded, secondly, \u201cby having a larger income, I am able to\ndo more good.\u201d But dare you aver, in the presence of God, that it was\n_singly_ with this view, _only_ for this end, that you sought a larger\nincome? If not, you are still condemned before God; your _eye_ was not\n_single_. Do not therefore quibble and evade. This was not your motive\nof acting. It was not the desire of doing more good, whether to the\nsouls or bodies of men, it was not the love of God; (you know it was\nnot, your own conscience is as a thousand witnesses) but it was _the\nlove of money_, and _the desire of other things_, which animated you\nin this pursuit. If then the word of God is true, you are in darkness\nstill: It fills and covers your soul.\n\nI might add, a larger income does not necessarily imply a capacity\nof doing more _spiritual good_. And this is the highest kind of good.\nIt is good to feed the hungry, to cloath the naked: But it is a far\nnobler good, to _save souls from death_, to _pluck_ poor _brands out\nof the burning_. And it is that to which you are peculiarly called,\nand to which you have solemnly promised to \u201cbend all your studies and\nendeavours.\u201d But you are by no means sure, that by adding a second\nliving to your first, you shall be more capable of doing good in this\nkind, than you would have been, had you laid out all your time, and all\nyour strength, on your first flock.\n\n\u201cHowever I shall be able to do more _temporal good_.\u201d You are not\nsure even of this. _If riches encrease, they are increased that eat\nthem._ Perhaps your expences may rise proportionably with your income.\nBut if not, if you have a greater ability, shall you have a greater\nwillingness to do good? You have no reason in the world to believe this.\nThere are a thousand instances of the contrary. How many have less will,\nwhen they have more power? Now they _have_ more money, they _love_ it\nmore. When they had little, they _did_ their _diligence gladly to give\nof that little_: but since they have _had much_, they are so far from\n_giving plenteously_, that they can hardly _afford_ to give at all.\n\n\u201cBut by my having another living, I maintain a valuable man, who might\notherwise want the necessaries of life.\u201d I answer, 1.\u00a0Was this your\n_whole_ and _sole_ motive, in seeking that other living? If not, this\nplea will not clear you from the charge: your _eye_ was _not single_.\n2.\u00a0If it was you may put it beyond dispute. You may prove at once the\npurity of your _intention_. Make that valuable man rector of one of\nyour parishes, and you are clear before God and man.\n\nBut what can be pleaded for those who have two or more flocks, and take\ncare of none of them? Who just look at them now and then for a few days,\nand then remove to a convenient distance, and say, _soul, thou hast\nmuch goods laid up for many years; take thine ease; eat, drink, and be\nmerry_?\n\n*Some years ago I was asking a plain man, \u201cOught not _he who feeds\nthe flock, to eat of the milk of the flock_?\u201d He answered, \u201cFriend, I\nhave no objection to that. But what is that to him who _does not feed\nthe flock_? He stands on the far side of the hedge, and feeds himself.\nIt is another who feeds the flock. And ought _he_ to have the milk of\nthe flock? What canst thou say for him? Truly, nothing at all. And he\nwill have nothing to say for himself, when the great Shepherd shall\npronounce that just sentence, _bind_ the unprofitable servant _hand\nand foot, and cast him into outer darkness_.\u201d\n\nI have dwelt the longer on this head, because a right _intention_ is\nthe first point of all, and the most necessary of all; inasmuch as the\nwant of this cannot be supplied by any thing else whatsoever. It is\nthe setting out wrong; a fault never to be amended, unless you return\nto the place whence you came, and set out right. It is impossible\ntherefore to lay too great stress upon a single eye, a pure _intention_;\nwithout which, all our sacrifice, our prayers, sermons and sacraments\nare an abomination to the Lord.\n\nI cannot dismiss this important article, without touching upon one\nthing more. How many are _directly_ concerned therein, I leave to the\nsearcher of hearts.\n\nYou have been settled in a living or a curacy for some time. You are\nnow going to exchange it for another. Why do you do this? For what\nreason do you prefer this before your former living or curacy? \u201cWhy, I\nhad but fifty pounds a year where I was before, and now I shall have an\nhundred.\u201d And is this your real motive of acting? The true reason why\nyou make the exchange? \u201cIt is: And is it not a sufficient reason?\u201d Yes,\nfor a Heathen; but not for one who calls himself a Christian.\n\n*Perhaps a more gross infatuation than this, was never yet known upon\nearth. There goes one, who is commissioned to be an ambassador of\nChrist, a shepherd of never-dying souls, a watchman over the _Israel_\nof God, a steward of the mysteries which angels desire to look into.\nWhere is he going? \u201cTo _London_, to _Bristol_, to _Northampton_.\u201d Why\ndoes he go thither? \u201cTo get more money.\u201d A tolerable reason for driving\nan herd of bullocks to one market rather than the other; though if a\ndrover does this, without any farther view, he acts as an Heathen, not\na Christian. But what a reason for leaving the immortal souls, over\nwhom the Holy Ghost had made you overseer! And yet this is the motive\nwhich not only influences in secret, but is acknowledged openly and\nwithout a blush! Nay, it is executed, justified, defended; and that\nnot by a few, here and there, who are apparently void both of piety\nand shame; but by numbers of seemingly religious men, from one end of\n_England_ to the other!\n\n2. Am I, secondly, such as I ought to be, with regard to my\n_affections_? I am _taken from among, and ordained for men, in things\npertaining to God_. I stand between God and man, by the authority of\nthe great Mediator, in the nearest and most endearing relation both to\nmy Creator and my fellow-creatures. Have I accordingly given my heart\nto God, and to my brethren for his sake? _Do I love God with all my\nsoul and strength?_ And my _neighbour_, every man as myself? Does this\nlove swallow me up? Possess me whole? Constitute my supreme happiness?\nDoes it animate all my passions and tempers, and regulate all my powers\nand faculties? Is it the spring which gives rise to all my thoughts,\nand governs all my words and actions? If it does, not unto me, but unto\nGod be the praise. If it does not, God _be merciful to me a sinner_!\n\nAt least, do I feel such a concern for the glory of God, and such a\nthirst after the salvation of men, that I am ready to do any thing,\nhowever contrary to my natural inclination, to part with any thing,\nhowever agreeable to me, to suffer any thing, however grievous to flesh\nand blood, so I may save one soul from hell? Is this my ruling temper\nat all times and in all places? Does it make all my labour light? If\nnot what a weariness is it? What a drudgery? Had I not far better hold\nthe plough?\n\nBut is it possible this should be my ruling temper, if I still love the\nworld? No certainly, _If I love the world, the love of the Father is\nnot in me_. The love of God is not in me, if I love pleasure so called,\nor diversion. Neither is it in me, if I am a lover of honour or praise,\nor of dress, or of good eating and drinking. Nay, even indolence, or\nthe love of ease, is inconsistent with the love of God.\n\nWhat a creature then is a coveteous, an ambitious, a luxurious,\nan indolent, a diversion-loving clergyman? Is it any wonder that\ninfidelity should encrease, where any of these are to be found? That\nmany, comparing their spirit with their profession, should blaspheme\nthat worthy name whereby they are called? But _woe be unto him by whom\nthe offence cometh! It were good for that man if he had never been\nborn._ It were good for him now, rather than he should continue to turn\nthe lame out of the way, _that a mill-stone were hanged about his neck,\nand he were cast into the depth of the sea_!\n\n3. May not you, who are of a better spirit consider, thirdly, am I\nsuch as I ought to be, with regard to my _practice_? Am I in my private\nlife, wholly devoted to God? Am I intent upon this one thing, to do in\nevery point _not my own will, but the will of him that sent me_? Do I\ncarefully and resolutely abstain from every evil word and work? _From\nall appearance of evil?_ From all indifferent things, which might lay a\nstumbling block in the way of the weak? Am I zealous of good works? As\nI have time, do I do good to all men? And that in every kind, and in as\nhigh a degree as I am capable?\n\nHow do I behave in the public work whereunto I am called? In my\npastoral character? Am I _a pattern_ to my _flock, in word, in\nbehaviour, in love, in spirit, in faith and purity_? Is my _word_,\nmy daily conversation, _always in grace_, always _meet to minister\ngrace to the hearers_? Is my _behaviour_ suitable to the dignity of my\n_calling_? Do I walk as _Christ_ also walked? Does the _love_ of God\nand man not only fill my heart but shine through my whole conversation?\nIs the _spirit_, the temper which appears in all my words and actions,\nsuch as allows me to say with humble boldness, herein _ye be followers\nof me, as I am of_ Christ? Do all who have spiritual discernment take\nknowledge, (judging of the tree by its fruits) that _the life which\nI now live, I live by faith in the Son of_ God; and that _in_ all\n_simplicity and godly sincerity I have my conversation in the world_?\nAm I exemplarily _pure_ from all worldly desire? From all vile and\nvain affections? Is my life one continued labour of love? One tract\nof praising God and helping man? Do I in every thing see _him who is\ninvisible_? And _beholding with open face the glory of the_ Lord, _am I\nchanged into the same image from glory to glory, by the spirit of the_\nLord?\n\nBrethren, is not this our calling, even as we are Christians? But more\neminently as we are ministers of _Christ_? And why (I will not say, do\nwe fall short, but why) are we satisfied with falling so short of it?\nIs there any necessity laid upon us, of sinking so infinitely below our\ncalling? Who hath required this at our hands? Certainly not he by whose\nauthority we minister. Is not his will the same with regard to us, as\nwith regard to his first ambassadors? Is not his love, and is not his\npower still the same, as they were in the antient days? Know we not,\nthat _Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever_! Why\nthen may not _you_ be as _burning and as shining lights_, as those that\nshone seventeen hundred years ago? Do you desire to partake of the same\nburning love, of the same shining holiness? Surely you do. You cannot\nbut be sensible, it is the greatest blessing which can be bestowed on\nany child of man. Do you design it? Aim at it? _Press on to_ this _mark\nof the prize of the high calling of_ God _in_ Christ Jesus? Do you\nconstantly and earnestly pray for it; Then as the Lord liveth, ye shall\nattain. Only let us pray on, and _tarry at_ Jerusalem, _\u2019till we be\nendued with power from on high_. Let us continue in all the ordinances\nof God, particularly in meditating on his word, in _denying ourselves,\nand taking up our cross daily_, and _as we have time doing good to all\nmen_: and then assuredly _the great shepherd_ of us and our flocks,\nwill _make_ us _perfect in every good work, to do his will, and work\nin us all that is well pleasing in his sight_! This is the desire and\nprayer of\n\n _Your Brother and Servant in our common LORD_,\n\n JOHN WESLEY.\n\n LONDON,\n _February 6, 1756_.\n\n\n\n\n A short ACCOUNT\n OF THE DEATH OF\n THOMAS HITCHENS.\n\n\n _Bisveal_, near _Redruth, Cornwall_.\n\n1. MY son, _Thomas Hitchens_, was born _April 14, 1723_. He went to\nschool till he was about ten years old. From school he went to work\nat the stamps in dressing of tin oar, in which employment he continued\nabout six years. Afterwards he wrought in the tin works underground,\ntill about a year before his death. Then he went to dress tin-leavings\nfor me, having five or six boys under him. At the same time he plowed,\nsowed, mowed, reaped, and managed all my husbandry; understanding every\nthing both as to the tin and the land; so that we had scarce one in the\nneighbourhood like him.\n\n2. He was from a child of a very sober and a very sweet behaviour, and\nremarkably dutiful to his parents. But about nineteen he began to go\nrevellings and hurlings, and sometimes to be merry with his companions.\nOf this I now and then told him, but not sharply; for I counted both\nhim and his brother mighty good young men: and was not a little proud,\nwhen people told me, \u201cI had two likely sons, and as stout men as any in\nthe parish.\u201d I thought it best therefore to let him have his liberty:\nespecially as I then saw no great harm in these things.\n\n3. But he had done with these, from the hour he first heard the gospel\nof the grace of God. He then _chose to suffer affliction with the\npeople of God, rather than to enjoy_ all _the pleasures of sin_. He had\nno fear, in the hottest of the persecution. While the mob were pulling\ndown the house in which we used to meet, he stood at a small distance,\nall the time, being nothing terrified; encouraged his brother and\nsaid, \u201cGod will deliver us; only let us trust in him.\u201d Nor was he at\nall moved, when the showers of stones obliged us to stop up all our\nwindows with whole deals. One night we heard a great tumult and noise\nas of much people and many cries. And it was told us, they were at the\nhouse of one of our brethren, who lived about a quarter of a mile off:\n_Thomas_ did not take time to go the road way, (tho\u2019 it was exceeding\ndark;) but ran directly through the grounds and over the hedges, \u2019till\nhe came to the house. The mob, hearing the sound of feet, ran away, not\none being left behind. So, said _Thomas_, the scripture is fulfilled.\n_One of you shall chase a thousand._ As he came into the house, the\nfamily too were preparing to run out of it. But he soon convinced them,\nthey had no cause to fear, and they mightily rejoiced together, and\npraised God who had delivered them out of the hands of unreasonable and\ncruel men. All the windows and doors were dashed in pieces; but none of\nthe family hurt at all, notwithstanding the vast quantities of stones,\nwhich had fallen on all sides of them. One very large stone they found\nin the cradle, close by a little child. But the child was not hurt. So\nthat in all things they saw the hand of God was over them for good.\n\n4. About eighteen months ago, while his brother _William_ and he were\nworking in the pit with another man, the earth calved in upon the man,\nwho cried out for help, and _Thomas_ ran toward the place where he\nwas. In running his light went out: but he found the man by his voice,\ntho\u2019 not till he was almost covered in. Before he had cleared him, the\nearth calved in again, and he was very near covered in himself. And\nbut that it stopt, they knew not how, in one minute more they must both\nhave perished together. _William_ hearing the noise, made up to the\nplace, and in some time relieved them both. Of this _Thomas_ often made\nmention, praising God for his wonderful deliverance.\n\n5. Some account of the manner wherein he found peace with God, (two or\nthree months after his brother) I lately found in his pocket-book. The\nsubstance of it was this:\n\n\u201cIn reading the three first chapters of St. _John_, while I was in\nmuch trouble and heaviness of soul, the Lord gave me great comfort;\nespecially from these words, _To as many as believe in his name,\nto them gave he power to become the sons of_ God. But soon after\nI was stript of all, as though God had left me, a final cast-away.\nNevertheless I went into my closet, and with a heavy heart said, Lord,\nI praise thee, that thou hast not given me over unto death. But how\nshall I appear before thee? While I spoke, the Lord answered, and\napplied these words, _I am thy righteousness_; which burst the cords\nthat before kept my spirit down.\u201d\n\n6. He often complained, that when he found great joy, he was in the\ngreatest danger both of pride and lightness: and therefore said, he had\nmuch rather, if it were the will of God, be always in a mourning state.\nHe likewise found great temptation to pride when he was most blessed\nin speaking to the people. And this was the main reason of his not\nstirring up the gift of God which was in him.\n\n7. He frequently repeated those words of St. _Paul_, _It is good for a\nman not to touch a woman_; and those of _Job_, _I have made a covenant\nwith my eyes; why then should I think upon a maid_! He was very jealous\nover himself when he was in company with those of a different sex. And\nif no man besides himself was there, he generally quitted the company\nas soon as he could.\n\n8. In the latter part of his life he was much grown in grace and in the\nknowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. He sometimes saw, as he said, anger\nand pride in himself; but they had no power: neither had the love or\ndesire of any creature; they were all in subjection under his feet. He\nwas more and more dead to all earthly things, and filled with the fire\nof God\u2019s love. The work of God had a deeper root in his heart and he\nwas more settled and established in the grace of God.\n\n9. After his brother\u2019s death, he declared he could not rest through the\nearnestness of his desire to follow him. However in the mean time he\nput in practice what _Samuel_ spoke of, namely meeting all the family\nonce a week. He reproved me and his mother in several things; but we\ncould not reprove him in any. I could not convince him or _Samuel_ of\nsin, for two years or more.\n\n10. On _Wednesday, September 10_, in the evening he found himself\nout of order; he went to bed something earlier than usual, and soon\nappeared to be in a high fever. But his confidence in God was still the\nsame, and all his words, both that night and the next day, convinced\nall who came near him, that the peace of God continually ruled his\nheart.\n\n11. On _Thursday_ evening, between nine and ten, his sister sitting by\nhim said, \u201cLord, shall I call, and wilt thou not answer? No; it cannot\nbe. Thou hast promised every one that asks in faith shall receive.\u201d\nThen he began praying for his father and mother; for his brothers and\nsisters, and in particular for her that sat by him. \u201cO my God marry her\nto thyself, make her all glorious within. Give her an undivided heart.\u201d\nHe then prayed for himself. \u201cNow come O my God, and sanctify me wholly.\nPress me closer to thyself. Thou knowest, this is all my desire. Give\nme power to declare thy wonderous works before I go hence. _O death\nwhere is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory?_\u201d\n\n12. As _Mary Busvine_ came to the bedside he looked on her and said,\n\u201cNow I am free. Now my heart is at liberty. I will praise my God as\nlong as I have breath.\u201d After speaking much to the same effect, he laid\nstill a small time, and then broke out into exceeding loud, vehement\nprayer, his voice being quite altered and every sentence \u2666pronounced\nwith uncommon emphasis. He prayed first for all estates and conditions\nof men; that the church of Christ might spread over all the nations,\nthat ten thousand times ten thousand might be converted to God, and all\nthe people of the earth praise him. Then he prayed for all ministers of\nthe gospel, from the greatest even to the least; especially for those\nwhom God had lately employed to seek and save those that were lost\nin _Cornwall_. Afterwards he prayed for _John Trembath_ that he might\nlive to the glory of God, who had brought him back from the gates of\ndeath, and might be a means of saving many souls from the bitter pains\nof eternal death. He then prayed for the society: \u201cO Lord unite them as\nthe heart of one man. O Lord, give them eyes to see whereinsoever they\nhave departed from thee. O take from them the spirit of unthankfulness,\nand suffer them not to bite or devour one another. Heal thou their\nbackslidings and spread over them the banner of thy love!\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cpronunced\u201d replaced with \u201cpronounced\u201d\n\n13. With prayer there was continual praise intermixed. Sometimes he\nwas blessing God for what he had done; then praying, \u201cO my God finish\nthy work and take me into thy kingdom. Is this the day, O my God that\nI shall kiss my brother in paradise?\u2015\u2015O Lord the angels have already\npraised thee at my conversion. Is this the day that I shall praise thee\nwith them? Yes, O my God, I am now going to join them, to sing praises\nto thee for ever.\u201d\n\nThen he prayed with great earnestness for _Mary \u2666Busvine_, and his own\nsister (both of whom he had in the beginning of the evening desired,\nto stay with him till he was in eternity) that they might never grow\nweary or faint in their minds, that God would send down the spirit of\nsanctification into their hearts, and give them resigned wills to bear\nwhatever his providence should lay upon them: adding, they shall run\nand not be weary. I know we shall all meet together, and sing praises\nunto him that sitteth on the throne, and to the Lamb, for ever and\never.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cBisvine\u201d replaced with \u201cBusvine\u201d for consistency\n\nHe went on, \u201cO how good is God to me, that he hath given me a tongue\nto praise him! A little while, yet a little while, and I shall praise\nhim in heaven! O the goodness of God, that I a worm of the earth,\nshall stand there, upon mount _Sion_, with the hundred and forty\nand four thousand which _have washed their robes and made them white\nin the blood of the Lamb_! Here is a privilege; here is a wonder:\nthat I am made a son of God and a joint-heir with Christ, and I shall\nsoon be where I shall behold him for ever! I, even I, who have been\na backslider from God! But he has healed my backslidings and loved me\nfreely.\u201d\n\n14. Soon after he said, \u201cI love thee, O my God, Thou knowest that I\nlove thee, because thou hast first loved me. O what manner of love is\nthis, that God should stoop to love me! And he is coming to carry me\nhome. O! I see thousands and ten thousands of angels! Do you not see\nthem? O brother _Trembath_, do you not see what a glorious place I\nam going to; I am going to join with angels and arch-angels, and with\nall the company of heaven. I am going to reign with God, among ten\nthousands of his saints and to bask in the beams of his love for ever.\u201d\n\nThen looking on _Mary Busvine_, he said, \u201cCan\u2019t you see Jesus Christ\ncoming, with an innumerable company of angels, and the golden banner\ndisplay\u2019d! They are coming to carry me to the bosom of my God. Open\ntheir eyes, O God, that they may see them. O what a good God have I\nserved! I am sanctified, soul, body, and spirit. I am whiter than snow.\nI am washed in the blood of my Redeemer. Why, I am all God. My heart is\nfull of God! O let them who hear me now, praise thee for ever and ever!\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd yet I have been unfaithful to my God. For he gave me a gift, but I\nimproved it not. I thought I was not worthy to stand in the highway and\ncall sinners to repentance. But, O God, thou hast forgiven me this also,\nand I will preach thee now as long as I have breath.\u201d\n\n15. He ceased not thus praying and praising for an hour. His parents\nthen coming in (early on _Friday_ morning) he said, \u201cO my mother,\nyou will not weep to see me going to such a loving God. My father\nand mother will not be backsliders. No; I know that God loves them,\nand that we shall all meet together in heaven, to praise him to all\neternity.\u201d Then looking on his brother, about twelve years old, he said,\n\u201cStand off, for fear you catch the distemper: for I fear you are not\nprepared to die, you have played away the grace of God. The harvest may\ncome, before you are renewed in the image of God, and then how will you\nappear? Cry mightily to God. Strive with all your might. Call upon him,\nand God will hear.\u201d\n\nHe then said, \u201cRight my feet, that I may lie strait to resign my breath.\nWhen I am dead, do you sing me all the way, sing my body to the grave,\nlay me by my brother, and at the same time my spirit shall be joined\nto his, and to ten thousand times ten thousand of angels and spirits,\nsinging praises to God and the Lamb for ever.\u201d\n\n16. Having spoken till he had no breath left, he paused; and in a short\ntime, began again, \u201cHear now the words of a dying man, a living wonder,\na Christian triumphing over death! O what a God do the Christians\nserve! What a God I have served! Praise him with me for ever. Behold\nthe immense goodness of our God. O that all the world knew our God!\nHe has now made my heart free that I may praise him, and I cannot stop\nwhile I have breath. Go, tell all the world of this. O brethren! What\na good God do we serve! Be not afraid to tell it abroad! Go, shew it to\nall people, that they may come and serve him too.\u201d\n\nWhen he stopt speaking, the oppression on his breast returned. This he\ntook notice of and said, \u201cWhile I am praising God, my heart is free:\nbut when I cease, I feel this load again. But I may well bear this; for\nthis is all the hell I shall have.\u201d Then he broke out,\n\n \u201cSee a soul escape to bliss,\n Keep the Christian festival.\u201d\n\n\u201cHe hath washed me and I am whiter than snow. God is mine, and I am\nGod\u2019s. I shall soon be with him.\u201d Thus he continued, till he could\nspeak no more.\n\n\n\n\n A short ACCOUNT of the Death of\n SAMUEL HITCHENS.\n\n\n _Bisveal_, near _Redruth, Cornwall_.\n\n1. MY son, _Samuel Hitchens_, was born on the 23d of _March 1725_. He\nwas brought up to read and write. But he had almost forgot that, and\nevery thing which is good, until God sent his ministers into these\nparts also, _to call sinners to repentance_. He was soon very deeply\nconvinced of sin: particularly, in the beginning of _January, 1744_,\nwhile Mr. _Reeves_ was praying in my house. In the middle of our prayer,\nhe fell to the ground, and cried so hard, that it greatly surprized us\nall. We were met, to take our leave of Mr. _Reeves_ and _John Daniel_,\nwho were going to _Bristol_. Mr. _Reeves_ raised him up, and strove to\ncomfort him. But he still cried out, \u201cHe was a lost, undone sinner.\u201d\nIn the morning they set out before it was day. _Samuel_ would needs\ngo with them. He had not rode six miles, before God spoke peace to his\nsoul. He rode about ten miles further, and then returned home rejoicing.\n\n2. But it was not long before his faith was tried. The devil first\nstrove to _reason_ him out of it. But he could not prevail. Then he\nstirred up the world against him. They came in multitudes, threatening\nto kill us all, and broke down the door and all the windows of the\nhouse, where we used to meet. After we had repaired these, they came\nand tore down the house itself, swearing they would also tear down the\nhouse also where we lived. And we were forced to stop up the chamber\nwindows as well as we could, or we should have been stoned as we lay\nin our beds.\n\n3. When this did not move him, they got a warrant, and came to press\nhim for a soldier, much about the time that they had pressed the Rev.\nMr. _Graves_ at _St. Just_, and carried him on board the man of war.\nAnd several of our neighbours who were quiet, industrious men, they did\npress, by virtue of that warrant, and carried them away from their work,\nand wives and families. But God suffered them not to touch him, though\nhe was daily in his shop; and going up and down about his business.\n\n4. But he was not so well aware of another snare which was laid for\nhim: for soon after, having some thoughts of marriage, he gave way\nby little and little, till he found his heart was quite drawn away\nfrom God. Hereby he was quickly plunged into utter darkness of soul,\nand fell under stronger convictions than at first. He often told his\nbrother, \u201che was in hell.\u201d He wandered about in the fields by night,\n_seeking rest, but finding none_; and often threw himself on the earth,\nand beat his head against the ground. And once when his brother and\nseveral others were present, he cast himself on the ground, _roaring_\naloud _for the disquietness of his heart_, and beat and cut himself in\nseveral places.\n\n5. He was quite delivered in a moment, in _December_ last, and the\nLord was with him as at the first. But after this deliverance, he began\nmore sensibly to feel his want of inward holiness. He had always walked\nvery circumspectly, having a tender conscience, even in the smallest\nthings, avoiding all light discourse, and finding constant power over\nanger, his bosom-sin. But this did not make him shut his eyes against\nthe light, which shewed him the corruptions of his heart: And this\nknowledge, in particular, he was willing to learn, even from the\nmeanest instrument. Nor did it cost any one much trouble to teach him;\nfor he was indeed a _man that feared always_: being so jealous of his\nown heart and conduct, that half a sentence, sometimes a single word,\nor even a look, would shew him what was amiss. And reproof, instead of\nfalling short, would frequently strike much deeper than was intended.\n\n6. He was very zealous for the Lord, and had great opportunities of\nshewing it in his daily business. For abundance of tinners came to his\nshop (he being a smith by trade) both at morning and mid-day and in the\nevening, to have their tools repaired. These he continually exhorted\nand reproved, with great boldness and plainness of speech: and yet so\nmeekly, that few of them went away angry, and the greater part were\nquite in love with him.\n\n7. His common hours of sleep, were between eleven and five. He was\nvery diligent in his labour. Yet he could not refrain from breaking it\noff now and then, to go up into a little room, which he had purposely\n\u2666built just over his shop, and pour out his soul before God. But\nhe soon made up the time he had thus employed, so that no necessary\nbusiness was neglected.\n\n \u2666 \u201cjust built\u201d replaced with \u201cbuilt just\u201d per Errata\n\n8. He had frequent and sore conflicts with the enemy of souls, who was\npermitted to sift him with divers temptations. One of the most dreadful\nwas, doubting the being of a God; but out of this also the Lord\ndelivered him.\n\n9. His love of souls cannot easily be described, especially those\nthat were more immediately under his care. If any thing was amiss\nin his class or band, he often felt the weight, before he discovered\nthe reason of it: and would lay it home to them with the greatest\nearnestness, till he had found out the accursed thing. But his love\nwas by no means confined to these. He would lament over sinners of\nevery kind, those especially who would not hear the call of God, with\ninexpressible grief and tenderness. The prophet _Jeremiah_ was in this\nhis particular favourite. He used to tell much concerning, \u201cThe weeping\nprophet:\u201d And was often saying to himself, _O that my head were waters,\nand mine eyes a fountain of tears! If ye will not hear, my soul shall\nweep for you in secret places._\n\n10. By this eager love of souls, he was even constrained at the time\nwe had no preacher among us, himself to exhort, first our own, and then\nother societies, _to continue in the grace of God_. But he had many\nsharp trials concerning this, fearing he should run before he was sent:\ntill one day in _May_ last, being in deep distress, he went up into his\nroom, threw himself down before God, and ceased not to wrestle with him\nin prayer, till all his doubts fled away, and he was fully convinced\nwhat was the will of God concerning him.\n\n11. He often complained, that the world was a burthen to him, and\nhe wanted to be wholly sequestered from it. But God convinced him at\nlength, this was not right. \u201cI now, said he, see plainly, there is such\na thing as going through any business, and taking all prudent care, yet\nso as it shall only pass through our hands, without either troubling or\nintangling our hearts.\u201d\n\n12. For some time he was under another mistake. He was even to an\nextreme, negligent of his apparel, thinking it was below the character\nof a Christian, to have any, the least concern about it. But afterwards\nhe was clearly convinced, that in this also he had gone too far, and\nthat a Christian ought even by his outward neatness, to shew forth the\npurity of his mind.\n\n13. The last great temptation into which he fell, was that of denying\nto the body even what was necessary for its support. Though he worked\nhard at his own business, and spent his strength very much, in all the\nintervals of his work, in going up and down and exhorting the societies,\nhe could not be prevailed on to take any cordial, or any thing for the\npreserving of his lungs. For a considerable time before he was sick,\nhe wholly abstained from flesh. And even other victuals he took at his\nfather\u2019s table, as if he was stealing it; and it seemed by his manner,\nas if he seldom or never eat so as to satisfy nature. The error of this\nwas not shewed him, till a day or two before he was taken ill: when\nhe was fully convinced, that seeing the body as well as the soul is\ncommitted to our charge, we ought with prudence and moderation to use\nall proper means, for preserving the one as well as the other.\n\n14. This temptation, I believe, began and ended, while he walked in\nthe broad light of God\u2019s countenance: which he enjoyed with little\nintermission for two or three months before his last sickness. Indeed\nit increased very much toward the period of his life: He saw the\ncorruptions that remained in his heart. But though they were not\ndestroyed, yet they were fast bound, so that they could not hurt him.\nThe only shadow of doubt which he had was this: Whether the peace\nhe had was not too great, while sin remained? But this was but a few\nmoments at a time. And \u201ce\u2019er he was aware (he said) his soul flew back\nand center\u2019d in God.\u201d\n\n15. On _Wednesday, August 13_. _John Trembath_, being ill of a\nmalignant fever, and as it was believed both by himself and others,\nready to depart, desired to take his leave of the family. _Samuel_\nstooped down to kiss him, and was immediately sensible he had caught\nthe distemper. However he met the society in the evening, and was\nunusually vehement in prayer. _Thursday_, the 14th, he continued\nworking at his trade, till about four in the afternoon. Being then\nobliged to leave off, he came in to his parents, and said, he was not\nwell. He talked of sickness and death with as much ease as of going to\nsleep, and mostly with a smiling countenance. Towards evening he took\nhis bed: As he lay down he said, \u201cOnce I laid on this bed, full of\nguilt and fears; but now they are all taken away. Blessed be the God\nand Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for sending his messengers into\nthese parts. Now is the harvest come. Now I shall reap the end of all\nmy prayers.\u201d\n\n16. About nine his mother and I came to him, and he said, \u201cmother,\nyou are troubled about many things. I know you have a great cross now\nsickness is in the house, over and above the care of this large family.\nFather, you must bear your part. There is a want in you both. You are\nreligious singly: But you are not free in confessing your faults and\ntemptations one to another. It would be a great help, if you would set\napart a time for this, for the family in general, once a week. God has\nmade you an instrument of keeping his little flock together in this\nplace. I believe you do it with all your heart. Let us do it chearfully,\nand he will greatly bless us all.\u201d\n\n17. He passed the night without sleep; but continually praising God,\nand exhorting all that came in his sight. To one who stood by him\nhe said, \u201cI opened my bible to-day on the cxii. _Psalm_. Take the\nprayer-book and find it.\u201d She did so, and he took especial notice of\nthe 6th, 7th, and 8th verses. \u201c\u2019Tis sweet (said he) to speak those\nwords experimentally: _He shall never be moved. He will not be afraid\nof any evil tidings; for his heart standeth fast, believing in the Lord.\nHis heart is established, and will not shrink, until he shall see his\ndesire upon his enemies._\u201d\n\n18. In the morning, _Friday, 15_. He was full of the spirit of grace,\nand of supplication: always expressing an unshaken confidence in God,\nand making strong intercession for the church. \u201cO said he, could I but\nsee the church of Christ, in peace and unity! Of one heart, and of one\nmind! then I should die rejoicing indeed!\u201d\n\n19. Three of the leaders of classes coming in, he said, \u201cWe have been\nneglectful in one thing, in not going more diligently after backsliders,\nand bringing back the sheep that were lost. O it is a great thing, to\nbring one soul unto the Lord! Let me desire you to remember it for the\ntime to come.\u201d One of them asked, \u201cShall I pray for you?\u201d He said, \u201cYes:\nbut do not pray for my recovery.\u201d After praying, he asked, \u201cHow do you\nfind yourself now?\u201d He said, \u201cClear of doubt: full of God.\u201d\n\n20. The man coming to him who used to work with him in the shop, he\nsaid, \u201c_John_, how is the case between God and your soul? Of late\nyou have not been so earnest as you was. Why do you not join in the\nsociety? I believe you are kept from outward sin. But that will not\ndo.\u201d A few days after the man came to me, desiring to be admitted into\nthe society, and saying, \u201cHe hoped the words would never go out of his\nmind, and that he should never rest till he knew the Lord.\u201d\n\n21. Speaking of some who were intangled with inordinate affection, and\ntalked of their \u201cwanting to know the will of God,\u201d he said, \u201cWhen we\ncan give up our own wills, then we shall know the will of God. And when\nthat is known and carefully followed, all temptations of this kind are\nat an end.\u201d\n\n22. He asked one\u00b9 who was much with him, \u201cAre you willing to die?\u201d And\non her saying, \u201cIf I knew it was the will of God, I could lie down and\nnot leave a wish behind:\u201d He answered, \u201cI think I am drawn two ways. I\nhave a strong desire to _depart and to be with Christ_; but sometimes\nI am drawn a little backward, not knowing whether my _abiding_ awhile\n_in the flesh_, may not be for the glory of God. These are two opposite\npoints. When they are brought to meet, my way will lie strait before\nme.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 The same person who wrote part of this relation.\n\n23. He often made her repeat those lines of Dr. _Watts_\u2019s:\n\n \u201cSay, live for ever, glorious King,\n Born to redeem and strong to save!\u201d\n\nAnd catch\u2019d the two next from her, repeating with triumph,\n\n \u201cThen ask the monster, Where\u2019s his sting?\n And where\u2019s thy victory, boasting grave?\u201d\n\n24. Those three verses in one of the funeral hymns he was almost\ncontinually repeating,\n\n \u201cThou know\u2019st, in the spirit of prayer,\n We groan thy appearing to see,\n Resign\u2019d to the burden we bear,\n But longing to triumph with thee.\n \u2019Tis good at thy word to be here,\n \u2019Tis better in thee to be gone,\n And see thee in glory appear,\n And rise to a share of thy throne.\n\n \u201cTo mourn for thy coming is sweet,\n To weep at thy longer delay:\n But thou whom we hasten to meet\n Shall chase all our sorrows away.\n The tears shall be wip\u2019d from our eyes,\n When thee we behold in the cloud,\n And echo the joys of the skies,\n And shout to the trumpet of God.\n\n \u201cCome then to thy languishing bride,\n Who went\u2019st to prepare us a place,\n Receive us with thee to abide,\n And rest in thy mercy\u2019s embrace.\n Our heaven of heavens be this,\n Thy fulness of mercy to prove,\n Implung\u2019d in the glorious abyss,\n And lost in the ocean of love.\u201d\n\n25. _Elizabeth Thomas_ being with him on _Friday_ night, he asked her\nto pray, and said, \u201cI can pour out my whole heart, and soul, and spirit,\nand life in prayer.\u201d She asked, \u201cCan you rejoice in God?\u201d He replied,\n\u201cYes; I have not the least doubt of my salvation. _I know that my\nRedeemer liveth_, and that I shall stand before him in that day. I know\nmy Saviour is now at the right hand of God, and that he is praying for\nme. I see the gates of heaven stand open, and Jesus stands with open\narms to receive me.\u201d Then he cried, \u201cLet me go! I must be gone!\u201d She\nasked him, \u201cWhither he would go?\u201d He said, \u201cTo my God;\u201d and burst out,\n\u201cCome, Lord Jesus! The harvest is ready. Come, Lord, and put in the\nsickle!\u201d\n\n26. The next morning, _Saturday 16_. his sweats stopped. All proper\nmeans were used to recover them. He said, \u201cI believe they will not\nreturn. But I have left all to God. My heart is full of God. I know\nhe will _appear the second time, without sin, unto salvation_.\u201d\n\nAfter lying a short time he broke out into vehement prayer, first for\nthe church, and then for himself: crying out aloud, \u201cOpen the heavens,\nO my God, and come down into my soul! Come, Father, Son and Holy Ghost,\nand plunge me into God! Carry me ye angels, to the bosom of my God.\nBear me to the feet of Jesus!\u201d Then with smiles of triumph, not to be\nexprest, he cried, \u201cJesus is coming! Now I shall see the unclouded face\nof Jesus! \u2019Tis finish\u2019d! \u2019Tis finish\u2019d! Jesus is come! Jesus is come!\n\n \u201cFor us is prepar\u2019d\n The angelical guard,\n The convoy attends\n A minist\u2019ring host of invisible friends!\n\n \u201cReady-wing\u2019d for their flight\n To the regions of light\n The horses are come,\n The chariots of _Israel_ to carry me home!\u201d\n\n*One called aloud to his mother to come. He said, \u201cYou may call; but\nGod will not stop one moment.\u201d He spake no more till he resigned his\nspirit into the hands of God.\n\n\n\n\n A short ACCOUNT\n Of the LIFE and DEATH of\n NATHANAEL OTHEN,\n\n Who was shot in _Dover-Castle, October\u00a026,\u00a01757_.\n\n\n1. I WAS born at _Ogham_ in _Hampshire_, of honest parents, and when\nabout thirteen years old, went to service to a farmer near _Ogham_,\nwhom I served faithfully for a year. I was then for a year and a half\npostilion to the _Exeter_ stage-coach. Afterwards I went up to _London_,\nand hired myself again, in the place of a postilion. It was here I\nwas soon led into drunkenness, and by that means not long after into\nlewdness. Leaving this place after six months, I hired myself for\nanother year as a postilion, at the _White-Horse_ in _Piccadilly_.\nHere I got more money, but could keep none, squandering it all away\nin drink and debauchery. My mistress reproving me for this, I was so\nenraged, that I went and entered on board a privateer. I went down\nas far as _Exeter_, in my way to _Plymouth_, in order to embark. But\nmy mind then changed: so I came back to _London_, and hired myself in\nthe _Hay-Market_ as a second coachman. I soon quitted this place, and\nserved Lord _H\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015_ in the same post for a year and a half, who when he\nwanted me no longer, recommended me to Colonel _B\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015_ with whom I had\nlarge wages. But I wasted all among lewd women, \u2019till I embarked with\nmy master for _Holland_.\n\n2. In eight days we arrived at _Williamstadt_. Thence we went to\n_Breda_, where I was again drawn into drunkenness. My master hearing\n\u2666of it, desired the groom to reprove me, which made me reflect on my\npast life. I went out into the fields, and went to prayers, repeating\nthe prayers which I had been taught by my parents. And this I did many\ntimes while we staid at _Breda_: And I had more power over sin than\nformerly.\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cof\u201d removed\n\n3. We now removed to _Mastricht_. Soon after my master parted with\nthe horses I took care of, and recommended me to another master.\nBut I stayed with him only a fortnight, before I relapsed into\ndrunkenness, and was persuaded to inlist among the _Welch_ Fusileers,\nin the year 1747. I remained at camp till _Michaelmas_: thence we\nmarched to _Rudenburgh_, where I remained all the winter. On the first\nday of _March, 1748_, we marched to _Ruremond_, where we encamped,\ntho\u2019 the weather was cold and the snow deep. After the cessation of\narms, we removed from place to place, till in _November_ we came to\n_Williamstadt_.\n\n4. Here we lay five weeks on board the _Seaflower_, a ship belonging to\n_Whitby_. On _December 18_, new stile, we set sail for _Burnt-island_:\nour ship having 41 horses on board. About sun-rise, just as we got over\nthe bar, it looking as if we should have hard weather, the man of war\nthat sailed with us prepared for it, backing his sails, and making fast\nhis guns. Before we lost sight of land, we saw one of the transports\nbreak her yard. Soon after we came up along-side of a man of war, who\nadvised us, to take in some of our sails. But our captain, being head\nstrong, did not regard him, but kept all his sails set, except the\nmain-top-gallant. About two hours before sun-set, it blew a hurricane;\nand we having but few sailors, before they were able to furl the sails,\nthe wind tore them all in pieces. And it was well it did. For we lay\ngunnel to; so that had the sails stood, we must have overset. Suddenly\na great outcry was made below, that the horses were broke loose. I ran\ndown and found seven of them had broke loose, which made the rest so\nwild, that we were obliged to kill them all but one. But it was six\ndays before we could get them over-board: during which the smell was so\noffensive, that it made the whole ship\u2019s crew sick. Two days after we\nsaw the shore; but we could not possibly make it, the wind was so high.\nWe then endeavoured to make _Aberdeen_: but were beat to sea again.\nThe next morning we lost sight of land, the weather continued as before\nfor five days. The sixth, at day-break, we were surprised to see in the\nmidst of the sea a rock very high out of the water, and the ship was\nalmost upon it: so all hands were called. The captain standing on the\ndeck, cried, \u201cO my ship, my ship.\u201d Some of the soldiers cursed him for\ndisheartening them, he answered, \u201cYou need not swear and curse, for\nyou may look over the side of the ship, and see your graves.\u201d Many were\nthen frighted, and some went to prayer. When we got to the lee-side\nof the rock, we strove to anchor; but the wind blew so hard, and\nthe sea was so rough, we could not. The ship was now taking in water\napace, so that we had two foot water in our hold already. Ten soldiers\nwere employed, of whom I was one, to \u2666bale the water out with their\ncamp-kettles. In a little while our steward perished with cold, as\ndid the carpenter soon after. And several of the boys had their limbs\nfrozen, so that they were unable to work. Eight soldiers who had been\non board a man of war were ordered to supply their place.\n\n \u2666 \u201chale\u201d replaced with \u201cbale\u201d\n\n5. The wind continued to blow hard at south which drove us on the coast\nof _Greenland_. We were now so far north that I believe we had not\nabove four hours day-light. The captain now came into the cabin, and\ncried, \u201cLord, have mercy upon us! What shall we do? I am afraid we\nshall be drove so far north, as to have no day-light at all.\u201d Quickly\nafter, he went out of his senses, and was confined in his cabin. But\njust then the wind shifted from south to north; and Lieutenant _Eyres_,\nunderstanding the theory of navigation, undertook the management of the\nship. The 10th of _March_ we came in sight of a rocky coast, but knew\nnot what land it was. We tried to take soundings; but could find no\nbottom. A strong current ran between the rocks, which was against us:\nbut the wind blew strong for us. We hung out a flag of distress at our\nmain-top-mast, and fired several guns and several platoons.\n\n6. During this distress most in the ship called upon God, and if\nany man spoke profanely, he was reproved for it. At the same time,\na thought came into the minds of many, that there was some grievous\nsinner in the ship: and all agreed to cast lots, that they might find\nthe man, for whose sake this was come upon us. But they did not execute\nwhat they had agreed. Here we remained five days. One who had been a\nsailor, then swore, that it was the _Orkneys_ we saw, and undertook to\nbring us safe in. But we had not gone far, before our passage was quite\nshut up, and we were just upon the rocks. In the morning a man was sent\nto the main-top-mast head, and ordered to keep a good look-out. Before\ntwelve he cried, \u201cA boat a-head.\u201d Our boat was quickly manned in order\nto row to them. In a short time they came on board: they brought us\ninto the harbour about sun-set. Here we remained, till we had liberty\nfrom the king of _Denmark_, to come to _North-Bergen_ in _Norway_. When\nwe came thither, several lost the use of their limbs, and many died\nin an hospital erected for us. Here we continued a month. Having then\nrepaired our ship, and got a new captain, (for the old one was still\ndisordered) we set sail for _Scotland_, intending for _Burnt-island_,\nwhich we hoped to reach in a short time.\n\n7. But we had scarce lost sight of land two hours, when another violent\nstorm arose. I then renewed the good resolutions I made in the last,\nand which I forgot almost as soon as I had made them. It blew exceeding\nhard; however on _April 9_, we came with great difficulty to _Leith_.\nWhen we were safe on shore, instead of returning God thanks, I soon\nfell to my old trade of drunkenness: and during our several removes,\nI continually plunged deeper and deeper into all manner of wickedness.\n\n8. After being at several other places we marched to _Glasgow_, where\nI met with a sober woman, and one that feared God, whom I married and\nlived comfortably with, till orders came for my remove to _England_.\nWe past the winter at _Dover_, where the advice of my wife made such\nan impression upon me, that I began to take up, and be a good husband,\nand worked hard to maintain myself and her. So I continued to do at\n_Exeter_, where I had a son born, and stayed eleven months. Thence\nwe marched to _Plymouth_, where we embarked for _Minorca_. We landed\nthere _May 25_, and I lived happy with my wife for two months. Then\nboth she and my child were taken sick and died. This was a loss indeed!\nI believe if she had lived, it would have been the saving of my life.\n\n9. After her death I soon fell back to drunkenness, and to supply\nthe expence of it, took to coining. The next spring, _April 20_, the\n_French_ invested the castle of St. _Philip_. Toward the end of the\nsiege, my companion and I got drunk together and quarrelled: upon\nwhich he threatened to inform against me, for which a great reward was\noffered. Being soon after told that he was gone to give information,\nI thought there was but one way to save my life. So I and he that told\nme determined to desert together. In getting out of the castle, I fell\ninto the sea, and was very near being drowned. With much difficulty\nwe then got to an old house, and took shelter therein. But we were\nbetween the fire of the _French_ and the _English_; so we stayed not\nabove a quarter of an hour. I would now fain have returned; but our\ncase was desperate: so we went on hand in hand. As we advanced, the\n_French_ gave the signal, which was three slaps with their hand on the\ncartouch-box. As we did not answer it, or speak, (for neither of us\ncould speak _French_) they immediately fired upon us. But here also the\nhand of God was over us. The shot all flew over our heads. They then\ncame and took us to the commanding officer, who sent us to the town as\nprisoners. In the morning we were removed to a prison near one of the\ngeneral\u2019s quarters, who sent for us about noon, and asked, what our\ndesign was? I answered, it was our desire to go into _France_ and work.\nHe said, \u201cthis could not be allowed by any means, unless I first serv\u2019d\nin the army for three years.\u201d I said, I would only comply, on condition\nI should not serve on the island, he replied, if I would not serve\non the island, I must go back to prison, I was going, but he called\nme back and ask\u2019d, \u201cin what regiment in _France_ would you like to\nserve?\u201d I answer\u2019d in _Fitz-James_\u2019s. He said, I should. However for\nthe present, I was remanded to prison. Two days after I was carried\nbefore the Duke _de Richlieu_, who asked me many questions. But I\ncontinued a prisoner during the whole siege, and was so, till we came\nto _Valenciennes_.\n\n10. Here I was enlisted into _Fitz-James_\u2019s horse, and continued two\nmonths: but with an aking heart. I longed to be in _England_ again,\nand only waited for an opportunity. This was suspected: so that when we\nmarched hence, I was confined every night, till we got a great way into\n_France_. By interceding with the quarter-master, I then got my liberty.\nAfter many removes, we marched to _Hanau_, and from thence about thirty\nleagues toward Muscovy. Here four of us agreed to desert the next night,\nand make the best of our way to the Duke of _Cumberland_\u2019s army. At\neleven we set out in thunder, lightning and rain. We took each of us a\nbrace of pistols, with our swords, and plenty of powder and ball. With\ngreat difficulty we past the guards, and then not knowing the roads,\nquickly lost our way: so that at break of day, we had got but nine\nmiles. However we were now got into the right road: but day-light\napproaching, we went into a wood, and stayed there till six in the\nevening: having been all this time without victuals, we were weak and\nfaint; however we walk\u2019d all night. In the morning we learn\u2019d from a\nwaggoner, that a party of _French_ horse were within a mile and a half\nof us. We ask\u2019d what he thought they came there for? He said he knew\nnot unless it was to look for deserters. Upon this, finding no way to\nget to the duke, we agreed to make for _Holland_, having changed our\nclothes with some of the boors, who likewise behaved kindly to us, or\nwe must have perished.\n\n11. Having sold our arms to buy us provisions, after many difficulties\nand dangers, in passing by both the _French_ and _Imperial_ troops,\nwe at length came to _Mastricht_. Thence we went to _Middleburgh_, and\nafterward to _Flushing_, where we got on board an _English_ man of war,\nwhich the next morning sailed, and brought us into the _Downs_. The\nthird day after we landed, we were apprehended as deserters, and laid\nin irons for six days. We were then removed to _Brumpton_ camp, near\n_Chatham_, where I was tried by a court martial, for deserting from the\ncastle of St. _Philips_, which I acknowledg\u2019d and was condemned to die.\n\n12. I now began to be in great trouble, not knowing what to do. At\nlength my companion and I determined to lay violent hands on ourselves.\nIn this resolution I continued till night. Then I began to think of\nthe consequences of self-murder. Betimes in the morning I went to\nprayer, and continued praying \u2019till about ten o\u2019clock. In my distress I\nbethought me of one _James Harbuckle_, a drummer in our regiment. When\nhe came I told him of my condition, and he began to talk to me of the\nlove of Christ to sinners: of repentance toward God, and faith in our\nLord Jesus Christ. In the evening he was obliged to go; but he promised\nto send some of his brethren to me. Two of them came at night and\nexplained more at large what _James Harbuckle_ had said. From this time\nI found another kind of trouble: my sins were so set in array against\nme, that not an evil work or word, or thought, I had ever given way to,\nbut was brought to my remembrance. Yet I was not so much troubled for\nfear of hell, as for grief that I had offended so good a God, and had\ncrucified the Son of God afresh. For three days and three nights my\ndistress was so great, that it was as if all my flesh was tearing off\nmy bones, and my bones breaking in pieces, which made me often look at\nmy hands and legs, to see if it was not so.\n\n13. My load so increased, that I was just ready to despair of mercy,\nwhen on a sudden it all dropt off. I was on my knees at prayer, when\nin a moment all my fear was gone. I knew I had redemption in the blood\nof Christ, the forgiveness of my sins: and the love of God was shed\nabroad in my heart, enabling me to love all mankind, even my enemies:\nand him in particular who had been the cause of my deserting. And I\nhad an earnest desire to see and tell him so. And I found every day\nan increase in love, and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.\nI was so delivered from the fear of death, that I could have rejoiced\nto have died that instant; being filled with prayer, and praise, and\nthanksgiving, such as no tongue can express. And this sense of the love\nof God to my soul, I never since lost, not for a moment.\n\n14. I was removed from hence to _Dover-Castle_, where I sent for Mr.\n_Edwards_, the minister of St. _Mary\u2019s_. He came the next morning, and\nafterwards attended me very diligently. I desire to thank God for his\nhelp, and hope the Lord will bless him for his kindness to me. But I\ncould not be satisfied, till I had sent into the town to enquire, if\nthere were any of the people call\u2019d _Methodists_ there? They sent word,\nthey would come when their day\u2019s work was done: but it being then late,\nthey could not be admitted. On _Sunday_ they came again, and we prayed,\nand sang, and rejoiced together in the salvation of God, I desired they\nwould come again if I was spared, which they did the following _Sunday_,\nwhen my spirit was so revived, that I could not help declaring to my\nfellow-soldiers what God had done for my soul. And now my prison was\nturned into a church, an house of prayer and praise. People crowded\nin, soldiers and others, to whom Mr. W\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015r gave an exhortation. When\nhe had done, I stood up, and begged my fellow-soldiers, to cry to God\nfor mercy, and grace to forsake all their sins, lest the day of grace\nshould be past, and they be given over to a reprobate mind.\n\n15. I spent the remaining part of the day in giving a relation of my\nlife, to one who wrote it down from my mouth; but I could not finish\nit then. _Monday, October 23_, Mr. _Edwards_ administered the Lord\u2019s\nSupper to me. In the afternoon Mr. W\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015r gave another exhortation\nas I did likewise when he had done, and we sang praises to God with a\ngood courage, and poured out our souls in prayer. The soldier who had\nthreatened to inform against me at St. _Philip\u2019s_ now came in. Formerly\nI was resolved to kill him, wherever I met him: but I now felt nothing\nbut love and pity. So I earnestly exhorted him to forsake his sins, and\nseek mercy while it might be found.\n\n16. What follows is added by him who wrote the forgoing relation.\nWe now parted, after I had promised to be with him, during the short\nremainder of his life, as much as my business would permit. _Tuesday_\nthe 25th, Mr. _Edwards_ administered the Sacrament to him, and examined\nhim closely as to the state of his soul. He readily answered every\nquestion, and declared his desire to depart and to be with Christ.\nAbout ten at night I came to him again, and found him employed in\nexhorting his fellow soldiers, and in praise and prayer. In the same\nemployment he had been the greatest part of the day. In the same he\ncontinued till about twelve: when his strength being quite exhausted,\nhe was forced to take some rest. He would fain have slept on his coffin;\nbut we persuaded him to lie on the straw: when he waked, he asked, what\no\u2019clock it was? And being answered \u201cabout three,\u201d he complained that he\nhad slept too long; but found himself much refresh\u2019d. After Mr. W\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015r\nhad read and expounded a chapter, and spent some time in prayer and\npraise, he again exhorted his fellow soldiers, to forsake their sins,\nparticularly those to which he knew they were addicted.\n\n*17. The morning now advancing, he exprest much longing for the happy\nhour, when he was to \u201cput on, as he called it, his wedding dress\u201d and\nto be with the Lord. We then left him awhile and when we returned,\nfound him drest in white, standing on a long form, and exhorting all\nthe people. We all joined in prayer, after which he broke out in praise\nto God his Saviour. Mr. _Edwards_ coming in, asked, how he did? He\nanswered, \u201cBlessed be God, never happier.\u201d After a few more questions\nhe withdrew, and _Othen_ getting on the form again, exhorted all that\nwere present with such joy and fervency of spirit, as testified a hope\nfull of immortality.\n\n18. He was thus employed, when the officer came, to tell him, the time\nwas come; he then chearfully stept off the bench, and without any delay\nwent forwards, and said, \u201cI had a good wife, and I loved her well: but\nI now go forth with greater pleasure to die, than I did on my wedding\nday to be married.\u201d When he was out of prison and delivered to the\nsoldiers who were to guard him to the place of execution, he began\nsinging that hymn with a loud voice,\n\n \u201cBehold the Saviour of mankind,\n \u201cNail\u2019d to a shameful tree!\u201d\n\nWalking on he took notice of a company of young soldiers, to whom he\nearnestly said, \u201ctake warning by me, I am young; but 27 years of age,\nin full health and strength. And yet I shall soon be as water spilt on\nthe ground, which cannot be gathered up. My morning sun goes down at\nten o\u2019clock. Yet I have found mercy: and so may you. O that you saw the\ndanger of being out of Christ! If you felt this in the manner I felt it,\nespecially for three days and three nights, it would make the stoutest\nof you tremble.\u201d\n\n19. Then turning to me and some others, who walked near him, he said,\n\u201ccome which of you will help me to sing?\u201d On which he gave out his\nfavourite hymn (that on the crucifixion) and we all sang it with him.\nWhen he came to the spot where he was to suffer, the minister was\nready to pray with him, in which we all joined. Afterwards the officer\ngave him liberty to go round and exhort all the soldiers. He began at\nthe right and ended at the left, sparing neither officers nor private\nmen: though to some he spoke more particularly, and in a manner which\nI trust they will never forget. He then asked the serjeant if the\nmajor thought him too long. He said, no: upon which he gave out, the\nlamentation of a sinner. While we were singing, the men were drawn\nout that were to shoot him, and stood a little behind him. He turned\nand looked upon them, and Mr. W\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015r asked him, \u201cwhether he felt any\nfear of death?\u201d He said, \u201cnone at all blessed be God: I feel my faith\nstronger and stronger,\u201d here we all took our last farewel of him, and\n\u2666parted with a kiss of love. He then chearfully walked to the mark,\nkneeled down, and having commended his soul to God, gave the signal.\nIn that instant his body pitched forward, and his soul sprang into\neternity.\n\n \u2666 \u201cpreted\u201d replaced with \u201cparted\u201d\n\n20. Some of our friends told the serjeant, that if it was agreeable\nto the major, Mr. _W\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015r_ would preach a sermon on the occasion. The\noffer was readily accepted. So in the afternoon he stood near the place\nof execution, and all the soldiers were ordered out, and formed a ring\nround about him. The officers as well as soldiers were present, and\nbehaved with the utmost seriousness.\n\nAs I was coming back, a soldier said to the people, \u201cIf I was as well\nprepared for death as _Othen_, I did not care if I was to be carried up\nto the green, and shot this moment.\u201d\n\nAnother said, I was so prejudiced against him by reports, that I would\nhave shot him, as soon as I would a dog. And I waited at the prison\ndoor, expecting to see a monstrous creature, when I saw a man with\ngrace shining in his face. And I hope what I then saw and heard will\nbe a blessing to me as long as I live.\n\n\n\n\n Some ACCOUNT\n Of the LIFE and DEATH of\n MATTHEW LEE.\n\n\nMATTHEW LEE was born at _Croft_ in _Lincolnshire_, was educated in\nthat neighbourhood; and at eleven years of age, put apprentice to\na shoe-maker in _Brator_ near _Spillsbury_, and served his time to\nthe approbation of his master: was of a sober, quiet disposition,\nand esteemed for his good-nature and integrity. Shortly after the\nexpiration of his apprenticeship, by the invitation of his brother,\nhe came to _London_; but being used to coarse country work, unskilled\nin the method of working in _London_, and but a slow hand withal,\nhe was incapable, by his business, of gaining even the necessaries\nof life. This involved him in great difficulties and distresses, his\nrelations not being in circumstances to grant him any assistance. On\nhis application to them for advice, he was advised to get a waiter\u2019s\nor drawer\u2019s place at an inn.\n\nAfter some time he was hired to the _Swan_ at _Fulham_, where he\nlived contentedly and agreeably, gained the good-will of those whom\nhe conversed with, and kept his character unblemished. He afterwards\nlived at a public-house in _Carnaby-market_: from thence he went to\nthe _Three Tuns_ in _New-street_, _Fetter-lane_, where he continued\nto live, till a person who came frequently to drink at his master\u2019s\nhouse, and with whom _Matthew_ had contracted an intimacy, one day told\nhim that it lay in his power to be of great benefit to him, and if he\nwould hearken to his advice, he might live more advantageously than\nhe could do in a public house: _Matthew_ enquired into the particulars\nof the affair: _Walton_ (for so was his companion\u2019s name) informed\nhim, that his aunt had left him a large legacy, and he was now going to\nreceive the same, and if he would quit his present service, and attend\non him, he would give him great wages, and he should live as himself.\nHe the more readily agreed thereto, from a desire to be freed from\nthe threatenings of a woman with whom he had sinful commerce. He had\nborrowed money of her, which he was at present incapable of paying\nher, for which she frequently threatened him with a gaol. This made him\nthe more willing to leave his place, to be freed from her importunity.\nAccordingly he packed up his cloaths, with what money he had, and went\nfrom his place with his new pretended master.\n\nBut he soon found his mistake: they wandered up and down, till\ntheir money being expended, _Walton_ shewed _Lee_ a pistol, and said,\n\u201cThis must stand our friend, and supply us with all we want.\u201d When he\nobjected to the proposal, the other with dreadful curses threatened to\nblow his brains out, if he did not comply. While they were arguing upon\nthe point, they had an opportunity of putting their design in execution:\nfor in the midst of their discourse, Mr. _Chalmer_ came in sight.\n_Walton_ gave _Lee_ the pistol to attack him, but his heart failed;\nhe sat down on the side of the field, and Mr. _Chalmer_ passed by\nuninterrupted.\n\nFor this, _Walton_ reproached him bitterly; upon which they both\nfollowed him, _Lee_ with his pistol, and _Walton_ with a large stick,\nand robbed the gentleman of his watch and fourteen shillings. Had\n_Walton_ been contented with what the gentleman had given him, in\nall probability they might have escaped; but _Walton_ perceiving a\nbulk in his pocket (which was thirteen guineas) demanded it, which Mr.\n_Chalmer_ refused, and recovering his spirits, told them, \u201cExcept they\nwould give him his watch, he would follow them.\u201d _Walton_ observing\nthis, took the pistol from _Lee_, and made his escape over the fields;\nbut _Lee_ having the watch, was closely pursued, and taken with the\nwatch upon him.\n\nHe was first committed to _Bridewell_, and continued there six weeks:\nduring his stay there, God was pleased to incline the heart of one to\nvisit those who were there confined, and to publish the glad tidings\nof salvation; and God gave _Lee_ an ear to hear the gospel-sound, and\nan heart to embrace it. He took great delight in hearing: and a visible\nalteration was observed in his whole behaviour. He was convinced of\nhis lost and undone state; was sensible how vile and guilty he was\nbefore God: was much by himself in reading and prayer, frequently and\nearnestly crying for mercy. But he was very fearful lest his many and\ngreat sins would exclude him from the favour of God; and though he\nwas only guilty of this robbery, yet he acknowledged himself a vile\nand hell-deserving creature, for his whole life. It was now the grief\nof his heart that he had ever sinned against such a good and gracious\nGod: who he acknowledged had been frequently striving with him. For\n(said he) I remember when I have been drinking and merry-making with\nmy companions, in the midst of my mirth, great horror and distress have\nseized me, that I have often times been forced to leave my company, and\nretire by myself. I have been frequently distressed on account of my\nsin: my conscience has checked me in, and after the committing of it;\nbut by company and mirth it would soon wear off, though not so, but at\ntimes it would return again.\n\nThe very first time he heard the preaching in _Bridewell_, the terrors\nof the Almighty fell upon him, and the arrows of God stuck fast in his\nsoul. The sense of his crime (not as it was merely against the laws\nof man, but as it was against the law of God) and all his former sins\ngreatly distressed him. The thoughts of death, but especially of a\njudgment to come, made him tremble exceedingly. He feared the wrath to\ncome, and knew not how to flee from it. He was desirous to know what\nhe must do to be saved; but did not see Christ the way of salvation.\nHe was now crying out undone! undone! and writing bitter things against\nhimself. He was so desirous to hear the gospel, that he would rather\nlose the favour of his relations and friends, that visited him, than\nlose one opportunity: saying, \u201cHe had but one friend to please, and\nthat was Christ.\u201d\n\nHe heard with such attention and affection, that he seemed even to eat\nthe words of the preacher. He earnestly longed for the pardon of his\nsins: but for the first three weeks he had not the least glimpse of\ncomfort.\n\nShortly after, as he was in prayer, crying earnestly for mercy, under\ngreat horror of soul, God broke in upon him in a wonderful manner,\nwhich he thus expressed to the person that preached.\n\n*\u201cI believe now my peace is made with God through Jesus Christ. I\nexperience a great change in my soul, for while I was at prayer, last\nnight, in great terror, apprehensive that I was going immediately body\nand soul to hell: I cry\u2019d out so loud that my fellow-prisoners in the\nnext ward heard me, and called to know what was the matter: I told them\nthat I was going to hell, and begged their prayers for me: but while\nI was in the midst of this horror and despair, I suddenly experienced\na blessed and comfortable change: my mind was immediately calmed: I\nbelieved my sins were forgiven: the fear of hell was taken away: and\nI was so far from fearing death, that I was now more desirous to die,\nthan to live.\u201d\n\nHe earnestly desired prayer to God in his behalf, and wept bitterly\nthat ever he should sin against him. It was very observable from this\ntime, that the greater sense he experienced of the mercy of God to him,\nthe greater abhorrence he had of sin, and of himself for committing it.\n\nHe was now more serious in hearing the word than ever; and was\nfrequently singing of psalms and hymns. He could not bear to hear any\nof his fellow-prisoners profane the name of God, but would reprove them\nand exhort them with a serious concern to reflect on the consequences\nof such a behaviour.\n\n\u201cOh! (said he) did you but feel the terrors I lately did for my sins,\nyou would dread the thoughts of ever sinning again.\u201d\n\n\u201cI have (says he, to a friend) deserved eternal death; but blessed be\nGod who hath taken away the sting of death, and the guilt of sin; and\nnow I can walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and not be\nafraid: now I can lay down and rise up, can live and die in peace.\u201d\n\nBeing removed from _Bridewell_ to _Newgate_, to be tried at the _Old\nBailey_, the day before he was brought to the bar, he said, \u201cShortly\nI shall appear before the bar of man, and receive a sentence of death\non this body; but this is my comfort, before man condemns me, God,\nthe eternal God, has pardoned me: I shall stand guilty before man, but\nguiltless before God.\u201d\n\nBeing asked, \u201cHow he, who acknowledged himself a sinner could stand\nguiltless before God.\u201d\n\nHe replied, \u201cBecause Jesus Christ hath washed away my sins in his own\nblood; and I am justified by his grace: my sins are blotted out of the\nbook of his remembrance.\u201d\n\nIt was asked again, \u201cHow he knew that Christ had taken away his sins,\nand that he was washed in his blood.\u201d\n\n*He replied: \u201cAs a lost and undone sinner, I have laid hold on Jesus\nChrist by faith: I rest the whole of my salvation upon him: I have\nbelieved in him: and he hath adopted me into his family: the Spirit of\nGod bears witness with my spirit, that I am a child of God. Thus I know\nthat all my sins are pardoned, and let death come when it will, I am\nready; for I am assured, as soon as this body is dead, my soul will be\nwith Jesus in paradise.\u201d\n\nOne present said, \u201cThat we need be cautious of deceiving our own souls,\nand advised him to be modest in his expressions: for many who had made\na great profession for many years, could not speak with such confidence\nas he did.\u201d\n\nHe answered, \u201cI speak it from a certainty of the thing; that which I\n_see_ and _feel_, I testify unto you.\u201d\n\n*\u201cSir, If these heavy irons were removed from me, should not I be\nsensible of it; and could not I by experience declare to others\nthat my irons were removed, and my legs were at liberty? Would not\nthe alteration I felt, be a sufficient foundation to assert the\nsatisfaction I found by the removal of them? Why thus it was lately\nwith my soul: it was fettered down to sin: I was a slave to my lusts,\nand I could no more get rid of my sins, than I can of these irons. But\nwhile I was fearing and expecting to be cast into hell every moment,\nJesus Christ came and knocked off my irons, my sins: he shut the doors\nof hell, and opened the doors of heaven; and set my soul at liberty.\nGod has made me, who was a slave of the devil, to be a subject of\nChrist. I am brought from my lusts and pleasures, which I loved,\nto love nothing else but Jesus Christ. And can such an alteration\nbe wrought in my soul, and I be ignorant thereof?\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015O blessed be\nGod, this change fills me with joy: I am full of joy: joy, not to be\nexpressed: for Christ loves me, and I love Christ, and I shall shortly\nbe with him for ever.\u201d\n\nOne saying, he had a heavy pair of irons on, \u201cOh! (says he) these\nare the cursed fruits of sin: this is the honour the devil\u2019s servants\nhave: these are the badges that declare to whom I did belong, and tell\nwhat dirty work I have been engaged in. Ah, cursed sin, that exposes\nus to such misery here, and to ten thousand times ten thousand worse\nhereafter! *It was my sins that brought me here; and my sins made me\nliable to be the devil\u2019s prisoner, in the dreadful prison of hell for\never: but the Lord hath spread all my sins before my face, that I may\nsee the magnitude and the multitude of them; and then he blowed them\naway with a blast of his Holy Spirit. All my sins appeared before me,\nand they looked like the devil from whence they came: but then Jesus\nChrist cast them all behind his back, and made me whiter than driven\nsnow in his presence.\u201d\n\nBeing advised to plead, not guilty, when called to the bar, and told,\nperhaps it might save his life:\n\n*He replied: \u201cI will not tell a lie to save ten thousand lives. It is\ntrue, life is sweet, but the love and favour of God is sweeter to me\nthan life itself: how do I know, but while I am telling of a lie to\nsave my life, I may be struck dead, and lose my precious soul for ever?\nI shall therefore plead guilty: not with a design to obtain the favour\nof man thereby: for I expect, I deserve none; but because I would not\noffend God, and grieve his Holy Spirit.\u201d\n\nA by-stander asked him, Whether he was willing to die?\n\nHe said, \u201cWhen I consult with flesh and blood, it seems hard to leave\nthe world in the bloom of my youth; but when I consider I am going to\nhim whom my soul loves, then I long to be dissolved, and to be with\nChrist Jesus.\u201d\n\nThis, with much more to the same import, he uttered, with a chearful\ncountenance, and with such an humble, yet confident boldness, as filled\nall with admiration that heard him.\n\nA Roman Catholic, being present, could not believe that it was possible\nfor any one to know his sins were forgiven; but acknowledged he\nbelieved _Matthew_ to be a pious young man, and that if it was to be\nknown here, he did know it.\n\nA near relation being of the same opinion, as to the knowledge of the\nforgiveness of sins, he said, \u201cBelieve me, as I shortly expect to die,\nand look on myself as a dying man, I am positive God for Christ\u2019s sake\nhath pardoned all my sins; and I am not afraid to face death, for death\ncannot hurt me.\u201d\n\nTo some, he said, \u201cMy living in an alehouse exposed me to much evil\ncompany, and I was forced to hear much cursing and swearing, to which I\nmyself was too much addicted. This with my living in uncleanness, made\nme forget God; so that God for my manifold sins, left me to commit the\ncrime, for which I am justly to lose my life. But I have no cause to\ncomplain, since God hath made me repent, and see the evil of my ways\nin my chains: and glory be to his name, he hath set my soul at liberty.\nOh! blessed be his name for his unspeakable goodness to me, so vile and\nwretched a sinner, for he hath enabled me to repent with a repentance\nnot to be repented of. I formerly took great pleasure in committing sin,\nbut now I hate the very thoughts of sin; and I really believe (by God\u2019s\ngrace) I could not commit a sin to gain a kingdom.\u201d\n\nAfter the person, by whom he was first convinced, had been with him, he\ncryed out, \u201cOh, that he could be with me always, then would my prison\nbe a palace, and my confinement better than liberty!\u2015\u2015*But, why do I\nwant a man to be with me? Have I not the presence of God with me? Have\nI not communion with Jesus Christ? And that is more valuable than all\nthe helps and conversation of poor sinful man.\u201d\n\nBeing informed there was a minister belonging to the gaol, who would\nhelp him in his addresses to the Almighty God:\n\nHe answered, \u201cWhy don\u2019t he then? Why don\u2019t he come and instruct me? Why\ndon\u2019t he wrestle with God for me? I see no regard paid to the immortal\nsouls of any that are confined here. They are running head-long to\nhell, and no one seeks to stop them. None prays with; none admonishes,\nreproves, exhorts them: but he that is filthy, is left to be filthy\nstill. What! Have the prisoners in _Newgate_, immortal souls! And yet\nno one regardeth them? Are they so good as not to need reproof and\nadmonition? Or are they so bad as to be past recovery? Who can tell,\nbut by frequent, earnest and heart-searching preaching, God might\nreach some hellish sinner here, as he reached me in _Bridewell_?\nAnd shall the servants of the Most High God be forbid to preach\nin _Newgate_!\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015What! forbid to preach to the servants of the\ndevil!\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Servants of the devil, did I say? Devils incarnate; but\nyet they are not blacker than I: and the blood of Christ hath reached\nme, and the same blood can cleanse the most defiled and vilest sinner\nhere.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Lord, pity us in _Newgate_, and send some one to preach thy\nword; and do thou make it effectual to reach their hearts.\u201d\n\nWhen he was brought to the bar, he said but little; only pleaded guilty\nto the indictment: but when he received sentence of death, with an\naudible voice, he said, \u201cThough I stand condemned at the bar of man,\nI shall be acquitted at the bar of God; for he hath forgiven me all my\nsins, and assured me of his glory.\u201d\n\nAfter his return back to prison, he was solid and serious, yet\nremarkably chearful: crying out \u201cWhat a vile wretch am I; and yet\nGod for his Son\u2019s sake hath pardoned me, and I shall stand before\nhis throne, and praise him for ever; for I am an heir of God, and a\njoint heir with Jesus Christ; a citizen of _Zion_, and a companion with\nsaints and angels to all eternity: Oh, how do I long to die, that I\nmay be with Jesus Christ, who is my lot and portion: Oh, the happiness\nI shall enjoy when I have left this clay! O, help me, sir, to glorify\nGod: I do praise him; but shew me how to do it more and more, and more\nstill: I cannot do it enough till I come to heaven, and I shall not do\nit enough then.\u2015\u2015*Blessed be God for what I have experienced in these\ncells: these dark and dismal cells have been light and pleasant places\nto me; for I have had the prospect of eternal glory; and have seen that\neternal glory reserved for _me_! Thither, thither, am I going: I have\nbut one storm to endure, and I shall be in harbour for ever.\u201d\n\nOne asked, \u201cWhither he should not be glad of a reprieve, and whither he\nhad not hopes of not being included in the dead warrant?\u201d\n\nHe reply\u2019d, \u201cMy flesh and blood desire life, but my soul longs to be\nwhere death shall be no more. Welcome life; and welcome death: if I am\nreprieved, I shall bless God; and if I am included in the dead warrant,\nI shall still praise and magnify his name.\u201d\n\nOne inquiring \u201cWhether he had any to make intercession for him?\u201d\n\nHe replied, \u201cI have no one on earth to intercede in my behalf: but\nI have one in the court of heaven, who hath interceeded for me, and\nobtained my pardon. My pardon is sealed above, and sealed with the\nbroad seal of king Jesus; that shall abide to all eternity!\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Jesus\nis my friend, and he will prepare a place for me.\u201d\n\nThe two persons that were condemned for murder seeing his seriousness,\nand the time he spent in singing and prayer; cursed him for \u201cMaking\nsuch-a-do, about nothing,\u201d (as they termed it) and said to him, \u201cWhy,\nwe shall only be hanged.\u201d\n\n\u201cOnly be hanged (says he) and is not that bad enough, to die in ones\nyouth and vigour, such a shameful death?\u201d\n\nThey answered, \u201cWhy, we must all die, one time or other; and now is as\nwell as another time.\u201d\n\n\u201cHow can you (replied he) speak so carelessly about the most important\nthing in the world? But you forget.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Death is not all: for after\ndeath there is a judgment and eternity! Indeed for my part I am easy;\nbecause I know I shall be happy: but I wonder you can be so easy, and\nyour peace not made with God.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Why you are on the brink of hell, and\nwill be miserable for ever, if you die without repentance.\u201d\n\nUpon their laughing at what he said, he could not forbear weeping. He\nthen turned away and said no more; but it had such an effect upon him,\nthat he could not sleep all night, to think what an unhappy state they\nwere in.\n\nOne of his fellow prisoners being asked, \u201cWhether his peace was made\nwith God, or whether he could say his sins were pardoned, as Mr. _Lee_\ndid?\u201d He replied, \u201cHe hoped it was.\u201d Mr. _Lee_ immediately said, \u201cThat\nis a sure sign your peace is not made with God; for, if it was, you\nwould not only hope it was, but be sure of it; you would feel the\neffects of it; your soul would be warmed with love; you would love\nJesus Christ, and long to be with him?\u201d\n\nThe two prisoners that died with him, asked him to eat with them.\nHe answered, \u201cNo\u2015\u2015What, must we eat to grow fat for the grave? Our\nthoughts had need to be engaged about other things, than in filling and\npleasing the flesh.\u201d\u2015\u2015They answered, \u201cIf we think so much, it will make\nus mad.\u201d\u2015\u2015\u201cWhat (said he) are you afraid of being mad by repenting of\nyour sins? You have more need of being afraid of going to hell for the\ncommitting of them: if we had not all been mad, we had not committed\nthose things that brought us here. And I am sure we shall be madder\nstill, if before we have lost our bodies, we take no heed to save our\nsouls.\u201d\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u201cAy! But (says one of them) we shall some, if not all of\nus, get off, for the dead warrant is not come down yet.\u201d\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u201cWhat then\n(said he) if the dead warrant saves any of our bodies, it does not\nsave our souls. We have need to be thoughtful about death, and to seek\nto have our peace made with God, if we escape death at \u2666this time.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201chis\u201d replaced with \u201cthis\u201d per Errata\n\nOne of the prisoners said, \u201cCan you now forgive your prosecutor?\u201d\u2015\u2015\u201cAs\nI am a dying man (said he) I love all mankind, my prosecutor and all,\nas I love my own soul; I do not know any person, not even the greatest\nenemy I have or ever had, but whom I as heartily love, as I do myself;\nand I can pray for them as readily as I can for my greatest friends.\u201d\n\nThe night before the dead warrant came down, he was filled with more\njoy than usual, and said, \u201cNow the Lord is smiling upon me; now he is\nspeaking comfort to my soul; now, now, I find nothing shall separate me\nfrom the love of God in Christ Jesus: O how does the Father of mercies\nmanifest his love to me, and make me to taste of the joys of heaven\nbefore I come there: now my heart feels what my mouth cannot utter: *he\nhath made darkness light before me; my dark cell, and my dark soul, is\nfull of the glory of the Lord; I am as full as my poor soul can contain\nof the divine presence: and if the foretastes of glory are so great,\nWhat must heaven itself be? God hath opened my eyes to behold his glory,\nand my soul is dazled with the sight of it.\u201d\n\nWhen the dead warrant came, and he was informed he was in it: \u201cBlessed\nbe God, (he said) I am not daunted: I receive the account with joy:\nand had it been to have died immediately, it would not have surprized\nme; for I am ready for it.\u2015\u2015Lord, thou knowest I am waiting for thy\nsalvation; and must I stay still _Wednesday_ before I am with thee?\nWhy must my longing soul be kept from thee till then?\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015But it is thy\nwill, and I am content to wait till thou shalt take me for ever unto\nthyself.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015O what a blessed day will that be to my soul, when it will\nbe separated from its body, to be with Christ for ever! Death, do thy\nworst; thou canst not hurt me; for thy sting is taken away, and thou\ncanst but carry me to glory; to the glory prepared for me.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Lord,\ninto thy arms I will throw myself. Lord, I come, I come; I long to come\nto thee; I resign myself to thee, and I depend for salvation only on\nthee, my dear Lord Jesus Christ; thou art my Saviour; thou art my God,\nand thou wilt be mine for ever, and ever. Thou hast forgiven me, and\nby thy grace I forgive all my enemies. O that they may all be saved,\nand brought to live with thee in thy glory.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015O who could have thought\nthere had been so much sweetness at the bottom of this bitter cup?\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015O\n_Walton_, _Walton_; turn unto God, before it is too late: let my death\nbe the means of making thee leave thy evil ways: and may God change thy\nheart, and forgive thee, as he hath forgiven me.\u201d\n\n\u201cOh (said he) I find more solid joy and comfort in death than ever\nI found in all the pleasures of life. Oh, that my relations would\nnot weep for me: it grieves me to see them grieve. Oh, that they may\nspeedily turn to God, and then, though we part here in sorrow, we shall\nmeet hereafter in joy; never, never to part again.\u2015\u2015Now, my God, I can\nsing of thy salvation: my tongue shall sing of thy righteousness: and\nshortly shall I be, where I shall sing praises, without ceasing, for\never.\u2015\u2015What will my friends weep when I am thus to be employed! O let\nthem learn to follow me; not to follow me in sin, to prison, or to a\ngallows; but follow me to Christ Jesus.\u2015\u2015O that they would attend to\nthe voice of a dying man, and cry to God for his grace, that they may\nbreak off their sins by repentance, and lay hold of Christ by faith,\nfor everlasting life and salvation. Beg of God a broken spirit; since\na broken and contrite heart, God will not despise.\u201d\n\nThe night before his execution, he spent in prayer and praise, and\nwas heard to say, \u201cLord my time is short here, let me not fear in my\nlast moments: give me courage to face death: let me not be afraid of\nits terrors: let thy grace fill me with consolation: and let me go\noff the stage of life, testifying what thou hast done for my soul.\nMay I declare thy pardoning grace to me. To thee, O Lord, do I fly for\nsuccour. To thee I come with a Saviour in my arms; and, if I perish, it\nshall be crying out, God _be merciful to me a sinner_! If thou hurlest\nme down to hell, I will keep my hold on Christ Jesus, and I will not\nlet him go till thou dost bless me.\u201d\n\nPraying with a friend (he said) Lord strengthen my faith in my dying\nmoments, that I may not dishonour thee by the fear of death, but enable\nme to bear a testimony to thy pardoning grace. May I die in the full\nassurance of faith, and leave a testimony of the freeness of thy grace,\nand of thy readiness to pardon the chief of sinners.\n\nThe morning of his execution, when his fetters were knocked off, he\npulled off his hat, and with great seriousness, blessed God that had\nvouchsafed him his presence, and prayed for the increase and strength\nof grace to hold out to the end.\n\n*The person who was taking off his irons said, \u201cHe was afraid he should\nhurt him.\u201d \u201cOh, fear not, said he, nothing can hurt me here, and I\nshall shortly be where nothing shall hurt me to all eternity.\u201d\n\nWhen the ordinary of _Newgate_ asked him, \u201cif his peace was made with\nGod?\u201d He answered, \u201cYea, I know my peace is made with God, and that God,\nfor Christ\u2019s sake hath pardoned all my sins.\u201d\n\nAs he was going to execution, he seemed full of prayer and praise; his\ncountenance chearful, and his deportment serious and solid. In _Tyburn\nRoad_, a gentleman begged leave that the cart might be stopped, for two\nyoung women to speak to him.\n\nTo one of them he said, \u201cMy dear _Nanny_, don\u2019t fret for me, for I am\ngoing to heaven: look up with an eye of faith, and you will see the\nholy angels waiting to be my convoy. My Lord Jesus is calling me, and\nI shall shortly be with him in paradise.\u201d\n\nWhen he came to _Tyburn_, and saw among the spectators, the instrument,\nunder God, of his conversion, he called out to him.\n\n\u201cNow I know you and I shall soon meet together in glory. I am going\nthither, and I know you shall soon follow after. I know that I have\nbeen a vile sinner, undeserving the mercy of God: but I know also that\nGod, for Christ\u2019s sake, hath pardoned all my sins. Oh, this is a happy\ntime indeed! Blessed be God I am not afraid to die. Now I experience\nwhat you so often told me about the children of God\u2019s triumphing over\nthe fears of death.\u201d\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Then with a smile he said, \u201cO death, where\nis thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is\nsin; the strength of sin is the law. But blessed be God, who hath\ngiven me the victory over sin, and over death, through our Lord Jesus\nChrist.\u2015\u2015Surely God\u2019s mercies are unbounded: they extend to the chief\nof sinners: for since the grace of God hath reached me, what room is\nthere for the vilest sinner to despair of pardon?\u201d\n\nThe last words he was heard to speak, was to a near relation. \u201cMy dear,\ndon\u2019t vex yourself for me; for I shall be in heaven in two or three\nminutes.\u201d Prayers being ended, he committed his spirit into the hands\nof God, with a chearful countenance, being in the 20th year of his age.\n\nHis body was taken care of by his friends, and on the _Sunday_\nfollowing, was decently interred in _Tindall_\u2019s burial ground.\u2015\u2015Mr.\n_H._ and another friend, performed the last office of prayer and praise\nover his grave, before a great concourse of people; where we must leave\nhim to rest till the morning of the resurrection, when his body, sown\nin dishonour, shall be raised in glory.\n\n\n\n\n An EXTRACT\n Of the LIFE and DEATH of\n Mr. JOHN JANEWAY.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _An account of him from his childhood, to the seventeenth year\n of his age._\n\n\nMR. _John Janeway_ was born in the year \u26661633, _October 27_, in _Tylly_,\nin the county of _Hertford_. He soon gave his parents the hope of much\ncomfort, and the symptoms of something more than ordinary appeared in\nhim. For pregnancy of _wit_, solidity of _judgment_, and the greatness\nof his _memory_, he had no _superiors_, and few _equals_, considering\nhis age and education.\n\n \u2666 \u201c63\u201d replaced with \u201c1633\u201d per Errata\n\nHe was initiated in the _Latin_ tongue by his _father_; afterwards\nhe was brought up at St. _Paul_\u2019s school in _London_, where he made\na considerable proficiency in _Latin_ and _Greek_. When he was about\neleven years old he took a great fancy to the _Hebrew tongue_.\n\nAbout this time his parents removing into a little village called\n_Aspoden_, had the opportunity of having their son instructed by\na learned neighbour, who was pleased to count it diversion to read\n_mathematics_ to him, being then about twelve years old; and he made\nsuch progress that he read _Oughtred_ with understanding before he was\nthirteen. A person of quality, hearing of the admirable proficiency\nof this boy, sent for him up to _London_, and kept him with him for\nsometime to read _mathematics_ to him.\n\nIn the year 1646, he was chosen by the provost of _Eaton_ college, one\nof the foundation of that school: where he gave no unsuitable returns\nto the high expectations that were conceived of him.\n\nAfter a little continuance at _Eaton_, he obtained leave of his master\nto go to _Oxford_, to perfect himself in _mathematics_, being with Dr.\n_Ward_, one of the professors, he attained to a strange exactness in\nthat study, the doctor looked upon him as one of the _wonders of his\nage_; loved him dearly, and could not for some time after his death\nmention his name without tears. When he had spent about a quarter of a\nyear with Dr. _Ward_, he was commanded to return to _Eaton_, where he\nsoon gave proof of the improvement of his time while he was absent, by\ncalculating the eclipses for many years before hand; so that by this\ntime he had many eyes upon him as the glory of the school. Yet he did\nnot discover the least self-conceit; every one took more notice of his\nparts than himself.\n\nAt about seventeen years old he was chose to _King\u2019s-college_ in\n_Cambridge_. He was chosen first, and an elder brother of his the\nsixth; but he was very willing to change places with his elder brother,\nletting him have the first, and thankfully accepting of the sixth place.\n\nBesides his great learning, his deportment was so sweet and lovely, his\ndemeanor so courteous and obliging, that many of them who had little\nkindness for religion could not but speak well of him. His great wisdom\ndid even command respect: he had an excellent power over his passions,\nand was free from vices which usually attend such an age and place.\n\nBut all this while he understood little of Christ, or his own soul.\nHe studied the heavens and the motion of the sun, moon, and stars,\nbut thought little of God, who made them; the creature had not led him\nto the Creator; but God, when he was about eighteen years old shone in\nupon his soul with power; and convinced him what a poor thing it was\nto know so much of the heavens and never come there. He now thought\nMr. _Bolton_ had reason to say, _Give me the most magnificent glorious\nworldling, that ever trod upon earthly mould, richly crowned with all\nthe ornaments and excellencies of nature, art, policy, preferment,\nor what heart can wish besides; yet without the life of grace, to\nanimate and ennoble them, he were to the eye of heavenly wisdom, but\nas a rotten carcase, stuck over with flowers, magnified dung, guilded\nrotteness, golden damnation_.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _Of his conversion and carriage when fellow of \u2666the college._\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cthe\u201d removed\n\n\nTHE great work of _conversion_, was not \u2666carried on upon his soul, in\nthat dreadful manner that it is upon some, but the Lord was pleased,\nsweetly, to unlock his heart, by the exemplary life, and heavenly\ndiscourse of a young man in the college whose heart God had inflamed\nwith love to his soul. He quickly made an attempt upon this young\nman, and the Spirit of God set home his councils with such power,\nthat they proved effectual for his awakening; being accompanied with\nthe preaching of Dr. _Hill_, and Dr. _Arrowsmith_, together with the\nreading of Mr. _Baxter_\u2019s Saints Everlasting Rest.\n\n \u2666 \u201ccarcarried\u201d replaced with \u201ccarried\u201d\n\nNow a mighty alteration might be discerned in him. He did not taste so\nmuch sweetness in those kind of studies, which he so greedily employed\nhimself in as formerly. He began to pity them who \u2666were curious in\ntheir enquiries after every thing, but that which is most needful,\n_Christ_, and themselves; and that which sometimes was his gain he\nnow counted loss for Christ. Not that he looked upon human learning\nas useless; but when not improved for Christ? He looked upon wisdom as\nfolly, and learning as madness, and that which would make one more like\nthe devil.\n\n \u2666 \u201cwhere\u201d replaced with \u201cwere\u201d\n\nMr. _Janeway_ now considered how he might best improve what he did know,\nand turn all his studies into the right channel: grace did not take him\noff from, but made him more diligent and spiritual in his study. And\nnow Christ was at the end of every thing: how did he contrive how he\nmight most express his love and thankfulness to him who had brought him\nout of darkness into his marvellous light! To this end he sent up and\ndown packets of letters, in which, he discoursed so substantially of\nthe great things of God, that it would not at all have unbecome some\ngrey head to have owned what he wrote.\n\nHe was not a little like _Elihu_, in whose words he used to excuse\nhis freedom with persons of years. He said, _days should speak, and\nmultitude of years should teach wisdom; but there is a spirit in a man,\nand the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding; I am\nfull of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me: behold my belly\nis as wine which hath no vent, it is ready to burst like new bottles, I\nwill speak that I may be refreshed_. He could not but speak the things\nwhich he had seen and heard, and invite all the world, to taste and see\nhow good the Lord is.\n\nHe began first with his relations, begging them to think of their\nimmortal souls, and to lay in speedy provisions for eternity. And what\npathetic expressions did he use, what vehement expostulations?\n\nRead what his language was (when he was between _eighteen_ and\n_nineteen_ years old) in a letter to a friend that had the care of\nmany children.\n\nSIR,\n\nYOUR _charge is great upon a temporal account, but greater upon a\nspiritual. Out of an earnest desire of the good of souls and your\nown joy and peace, I importunately request that you should have a\ngreat care of your children, and be often dropping in some wholesome\nadmonitions; and this I humbly, with submission to your judgment in\nit, commend to you: not to admonish them always together, but likewise\nprivately one by one. Wherein you may please to press upon \u2666them\nnatural corruption, the necessity of regeneration, the excellency of\nChrist, and how unspeakably lovely it is to see young ones setting out\nfor heaven. This way I think may do most good, having had experience\nof it myself in some small measure; God grant that all may work for\nthe edifying of those who are committed to you. I leave you under the\nprotection of him that hath loved us, and given himself for us._\n\n \u2666 \u201ctheir\u201d replaced with \u201cthem\u201d per Errata\n\nWhen he was about twenty years old, he was made fellow of the college,\nwhich did not a little advance those noble projects which he had for\nthe interest of the _Lord Christ_. Then how sweetly would he insinuate\ninto the young ones desiring to carry as many of them as possible with\nhim to heaven. Many attempts he made upon some of the same house, that\nhe might season them with grace, and animate those who were _looking\ntowards heaven_. And as for his own relations, never was there a more\ncompassionate and tender-hearted brother. How many pathetical letters\ndid he send to them! And how did he follow them with _prayers_ and\n_tears_.\n\nRead what his heart was, in the following lines.\n\n\u201cDistance of place cannot at all lessen that natural bond, whereby\nwe are conjoined in blood, neither ought to lessen that of love. Nay,\nwhere true love is, it cannot; for love towards you I can only say this,\nthat I feel it better than I can express it: but love felt and not\nexpressed is little worth. I therefore desire to make my love manifest\nin the best way I can. Let us look upon one another not as brethren\nonly, but as members of the same body whereof Christ is the head.\nLet us therefore hunger after him, so that our close knot may meet\nin Christ: if we are in Christ, and Christ in us, then we shall be\none with each other. You cannot complain for want of instruction, God\nhath not been to us a dry wilderness; you have had line upon line, and\nprecept upon precept: he hath planted you by the rivers of water. It is\nthe Lord indeed who maketh fruitful, but yet we are not to stand and do\nnothing. There is a crown worth looking for; seek therefore, and that\nearnestly. Oh! seek by continual prayer, keep your soul in a praying\nframe, this is a great and necessary duty: nay, a high and precious\nprivilege. If thou canst say nothing, come and lay thyself in an humble\nmanner before the Lord. You may believe me, for I have experienced what\nI say. There is more sweetness in one glimpse of God\u2019s love, than in\nall that the world can afford. Oh! do but try; taste and see how good\nthe Lord is. Get into a corner and throw yourself down before the Lord,\nand beg of God to make you sensible of your lost state by nature, and\nof the excellency and necessity of Christ. Say, Lord give me a broken\nheart, soften and melt me. Any thing in the world, so I may be enabled\nto value Christ, and to accept of him, as he is tendered in the gospel.\nO that I may be delivered from the wrath to come! Oh! a blessing for me,\neven for me! And resolve not to be content till the Lord have in some\nmeasure answered you. My bowels yearn towards you. Oh! that you did but\nknow with what affection I write now, and what prayers and tears are\nmingled with these lines! The Lord set these things home, and give you\nan heart to apply them! Give me leave to deal plainly, for I love your\nsoul so well, that I cannot bear the thoughts of the loss of it. Know\nthis, that except a man be born again, he cannot enter into the kingdom\nof heaven; God\u2019s favour is not to be recovered without it. This new\nbirth hath its foundation laid in a sense of sin, a godly sorrow for\nit, and a heart set against it; without this there can be no salvation.\nLook well about you, and see into yourself, and thou wilt see that thou\nart at hell\u2019s mouth without this first step, and nothing but free-grace\nand pure mercy is between you and the state of the devils. The Lord\ndeliver us from a secure careless heart! Here you see a natural man\u2019s\ncondition. How darest thou then lie down in security. Oh! look about\nfor your soul\u2019s sake. Repentance itself may lose its labour, if it\nbe not in the right manner. Tears and groans, and prayers will not do\nwithout Christ. Most, when they are convinced of sin, and are under\nfears of hell, reform something, and thus the wound is healed, and by\nthis thousands fall short of heaven. For if we be not brought off from\nourselves, and our righteousness as well as our sins, we are never like\nto be saved. We must see an absolute need of Christ, and give ourselves\nup to him, and count all but dung and dross in comparison of Christ\u2019s\nrighteousness. Look therefore for mercy only in Christ, for his sake\nrely upon God\u2019s mercy. The terms of the gospel are, repent and believe;\ngracious terms! Mercy for fetching, nay, mercy for desiring, nay, for\nnothing but receiving. Dost thou desire mercy and grace? I know thou\ndost. Even this is the gift of God to desire, hunger after Christ;\nlet desires put you upon endeavour, the work itself is sweet: yea,\nrepentance and mourning itself hath more sweetness in it, than all the\nworld\u2019s comforts. Upon repentance and believing comes justification,\nafter this sanctification, by the spirit dwelling in us. By this we\ncome to be the children of God, to be made partakers of the divine\nnature, to have a suitableness to God.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _His great love to prayer._\n\n\nHE was mighty in prayer, and his spirit was oftentimes so transported\nin it that he forgot the weakness of his own body. Indeed the\nacquaintance he had with God was so sweet, and his converse with him so\nfrequent, that when he was engaged in duty, he scarce knew how to leave\noff. His constant course for some years was this. He prayed at least\nthree times a day in secret, sometimes seven times, twice a day in the\nfamily or college. And he found the sweetness of it beyond imagination\nand enjoyed wonderful communion with God. He could say by experience,\nthat the ways of wisdom were ways of pleasantness, and all her paths\npeace. He knew what it was to wrestle with God, and he could scarce\ncome off his knees, without his blessing. He was used to converse\nwith God, with a _holy familiarity_ as a _friend_, and would upon all\noccasions run to him for advice, and had many strange and immediate\nanswers of prayer. One of which I think it not impertinent to give an\naccount of.\n\nHis father Mr. _William Janeway_, minister of _Kelshall_ in\n_Hertfordshire_, being sick, and under dark apprehensions as to the\nstate of his soul, he would often say to his son _John_: \u201cOh! Son! This\npassing into eternity is a great thing, this dying is a solemn business,\nand enough to make one\u2019s heart ake, that hath not his evidences for\nheaven clear. And truly, son, I am under no small fears, as to my own\nestate for another world. Oh! That God would clear his love! Oh! that\nI could say chearfully, I can upon good grounds be able to look death\nin the face, and venture upon eternity with well grounded peace and\ncomfort.\u201d\n\nSeeing his father continuing under despondings of spirit (though no\nChristians that knew him but had a high esteem of his uprightness)\nhe got by himself and spent sometime in wrestling with God, earnestly\nbegging that he would speedily give him some token for good, that he\nmight joyfully and honourably leave this world. After he was risen\nfrom his knees, he came down to his father, and asked him, how he felt\nhimself. His father made no answer for sometime, but wept exceedingly,\n(a passion he was not subject to) and continued for some considerable\ntime weeping, so that he was not able to speak. But at last having\nrecovered himself, he burst out: \u201cO! Son! now it is come, it is come,\nit is come: I bless God I can die; the spirit of God hath witnessed\nwith my spirit that I am his child. Now I can look up to God as my dear\nFather, and Christ as my redeemer; I can now say, this is my friend,\nand this is my beloved. My heart is full, it is brim full, I can hold\nno more. I know now what that sentence means, The peace of God which\npasseth understanding; I know now what that white stone is wherein a\nnew name is written, which none know but them that have it, and that\nfit of weeping which you saw me in, was from overpowering love and\njoy, so great that I could not contain myself: neither can I express\nwhat glorious discoveries God hath made of himself to me. And had that\njoy been greater, I question whether it would not have separated soul\nand body. Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me, bless\nhis holy name, that hath pardoned all my sins, and sealed the pardon.\nHe hath healed my wounds, and caused the bones which he had broken to\nrejoice. Oh! help me to bless the Lord, he hath put a new song into my\nmouth: now I can die! It is nothing, I bless God I can die. I desire to\nbe dissolved and to be with Christ.\u201d You may well think his son\u2019s heart\nwas not a little refreshed to meet the messenger that he had sent to\nheaven returned back so speedily.\n\nAfter the death of his father, he did what he could to supply his\nabsence, doing the part of a husband, son, and brother; so that he was\nno small comfort to his poor mother in her disconsolate state, and all\nthe rest of his relations, that had any sense of God upon their spirits.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _His return to King\u2019s-college after his father\u2019s death\n and his temptations._\n\n\nWHEN his father was dead he returned again to _King\u2019s-college_, and was\na member of a society, which began to contrive how they might best be\nserviceable to God and their generation. Their custom was frequently to\nmeet together, to pray and to communicate _studies_ and _experiences_.\nSome of this company grew cold, but others lived to let the world\nsee, that what they did was from a _vital principle_: among whom,\nthis young man was none of the _least_. One of their designs was to\nengage the _Juniors_, if possible, before they were ensnared by wicked\ncompany, when they came from school. After some time, most of his dear\ncompanions were _transplanted_ either into gentlemen\u2019s families or\nlivings, and Mr. _Janeway_, being one of the youngest, was, for a while,\nleft alone in the _College_. But wanting suitable society, he fixed so\nintensely upon his studies, that he soon gave an incurable wound to his\nconstitution.\n\nBut he had his gloomy days, and his sweets were sometimes imbittered\nwith dreadful and horrid temptations. The devil shot his poisonous\narrows at him: yet through the captain of his salvation, he came off\nmore than conqueror.\n\nIt would make a Christian\u2019s heart even ake to hear what strange\ntemptations he was exercised with. But he was well armed for such a\nconflict, having the shield of faith, whereby he quenched the fiery\ndarts of that wicked one: yet, this fight cost him the sweating of his\nbody for agonies of spirit; and tears and strong cries to heaven. As\nfor himself, he was wont to take an arrow out of God\u2019s quiver, and\ndischarge it by faith and prayer, for the discomfiture of his violent\nenemy, who at last was fain to fly.\n\nThese conflicts with Satan, did not a little help \u2666him dealing with\nthem that are afflicted with the like temptations. I insert a letter\nof his to one in the like case.\n\n \u2666 \u201cin\u201d replaced with \u201chim\u201d per Errata\n\n_Dear Friend_,\n\n\u2018You say that you are troubled with blasphemous thoughts: so then,\nthough they are blasphemous, yet they are your trouble; and neither\nsent for, nor welcome. What then shall we think of them? If they were\nyour own production, your heart would be delighted in its own issue,\nbut it is nothing less. They are the injections of that wicked one,\nwho is the accuser of the brethren, and the disturber of the peace of\nthe people of God. But Satan uses only to employ those weapons against\nthose he is in fear of losing? He is not wont to assault and fight\nagainst his friends in this manner. Those that he hath fast, he leads\non as softly and quietly as he can; fearing lest they should awake,\nand see their danger: but those that have in some measure escaped his\nsnares, he follows hard, with all the discouragements he can. These\nthings are no other but a bitter relish of those things, which you\nknow to be bitter after you have tasted how good the Lord is. What then\nshall I call these motions of your mind? They are the soul\u2019s loathing\nthe morsels which Satan would have it swallow: but you will say, if\nthese horrible thoughts be not your sin, yet they are your misery. And\nyou will ask, How shall I get free from them? _First_, See that you\npossess your soul in patience: know that God hath an over-ruling hand\nin all this: and wait upon him, for he can and will bring good out of\nall this evil. At present you see no light: yet, _Trust in the Lord,\nand stay yourself upon your God_. Can Christ forget the purchase of his\nown blood? _Can a mother forget her sucking child?_ Yet, _God cannot\nforget his_. God hath gracious intents in all this, and his bowels\nyearn towards you. Yea, our Saviour suffers with us, through his ardent\nlove by sympathy, as well as he hath suffered for us. And you know he\nhath all power in his hand. This power is made yours through the prayer\nof faith: but for your own work, do this.\n\n\u2018_First_, Let not such thoughts have any time of abode in your mind,\nbut turn them out with all the abhorrence you can: yet not with so much\ntrouble and disturbance of mind as I believe you do. For by this the\ndevil is pleased and makes you your own tormentor.\n\n\u2018_Secondly_, Always divert your thoughts to some good thing, and let\nthose very injections be the occasion of spiritual meditation. Think\nthe quite contrary, or fall a praying with earnestness; and the devil\nwill be weary if he finds his designs thus broken, and that those\nsparks of hell (which he struck into the soul to kindle corruption,)\nset faith and prayer a working.\n\n\u2018_Thirdly_, Consider that this is no new thing; if any soul hath\nescaped out of darkness, if he will have heaven, he shall have it\nwith as much trouble, as the devil can lay on; but, blessed be God,\nhe cannot pluck us out of these almighty arms.\u2019\n\nHis love to Christ and souls, made him very desirous _to spend, and\nbe spent in the work of the ministry_. Accordingly he complied with\nthe first clear call to preach the everlasting gospel. And though he\nwas but two and twenty years old, yet he came to that work like one\nthat understood what preaching was. He was a workman that needed not\nbe ashamed, that was thoroughly furnished for every good word and work;\none that hated sin with a perfect hatred, and loved holiness with all\nhis soul; one that knew _the terrors of the Lord_, and how to beseech\nsinners _in Christ\u2019s stead to be reconciled unto God_: one, in whom\nlearning and holiness did as it were strive which could excel. He\nnever preached publicly but twice; but he came to it, as if he had\nbeen used to it forty years; delivering the word of God with that power\nand majesty, with that tenderness and compassion, with that readiness\nand freedom, that it made his hearers amazed. He spoke nothing to\nothers but what was the language of his heart, and the fruit of great\nexperience, and which one might easily perceive had no small impression\nfirst upon his own spirit.\n\nHis _first_ and _last_ sermons were upon communion with God, out of\n_Job_ xxii.\u00a021. A subject that few Christians under heaven were better\nable to manage than himself: for he did for some time maintain such\nan intimate familiarity with God, that he seemed to converse with him\nas a friend with another. This he began whilst he was here: but the\nperfecting his acquaintance with God, was a work for another world.\n\nHe kept an exact watch over his thoughts, words and actions, and made a\nreview of all, at least once a day. He kept a _diary_, in which he set\ndown every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all the day,\nespecially in every duty. He took notice what profit he received; what\nreturns from that far country; what answers of prayer, what deadness\nand flatness, and what observable providences. He set down the\nsubstance of what he had been doing: and any wanderings of thoughts,\nor passion. It cannot be conceived by them who do not practise this,\nto what a good account it turned. This made him retain a grateful\nremembrance of mercy, and live in a constant adoring of divine goodness;\nthis brought him to a very intimate acquaintance with his own heart;\nkept his spirit low, and fitted him for free communications from God;\nthis made him more lively and active; helped him to walk humbly with\nGod; and made him speak more affectionately and experimentally to\nothers of the things of God. In a word, this left a sweet calm upon\nhis spirits, because he every night made even his accounts; and if his\nsheets should prove his winding-sheet, it had been all one; for his\nwork was done; so that death could not surprize him.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _An account of the latter part of his life._\n\n\nFOR the latter part of his life, he lived like a man that was quite\nweary of the world, and that looked upon himself as a stranger here,\nand lived in the constant sight of a better. He plainly declared\nhimself but a pilgrim that looked for a better country, a city that had\nfoundations, whose builder and maker was God. His habit, his language,\nhis deportment, all spoke him one of another world. His meditations\nwere so intense, long, and frequent, that they ripened him apace for\nheaven. Few attain to such a holy contempt of the world, and to such\na clear, joyful constant apprehension of the world that is to come.\n\nHe made it his whole business to grow into an humble familiarity with\nGod, and to maintain it. And if by reason of company, or any necessary\nbusiness, this was in any measure interrupted, he would complain like\none out of his element, till his spirit was recovered into a delightful,\nunmixed, free intercourse with God. He was never so well satisfied,\nas when he was more immediately engaged in what brought him nearer to\nGod; and by this he constantly enjoyed those comforts, which others\nrarely meet with. His graces and experiences toward his end grew to\nastonishment. He was oft brought into the banqueting-house, and there\nChrist\u2019s banner over him was love. His eyes beheld the king in his\nbeauty: he had frequent visions of glory, and lay in the bosom of\nhis master. He was even sick of love, and could say to the world,\n_O taste and see_! And to Christians, _Come and I will tell you what\nGod hath done for my soul_. O what do Christians mean that they do\nno more to get their senses spiritually exercised? Little do people\nthink what they slight, when they are formal in secret duties, and when\nthey neglect that great duty of _meditation_. Did they but know the\nthousandth part of that sweetness that is in Christ, they could not\nchoose but follow him hard; they would run and not be weary; and walk\nand not be faint.\n\nIn the midst of all worldly comforts he longed for death; and the\nthoughts of the day of judgment made all his enjoyments sweeter. O, how\ndid he long for the coming of Christ! Whilst some have been discoursing\nby him of that great and terrible day of the Lord, he would smile, and\nhumbly express his delight in the forethought of its approach.\n\nI remember once, one had foretold that _doomsday_ should be upon\nsuch a day: although he blamed their daring folly, yet granting their\nsuspicion to be true, he said, what if the day of judgment were to\ncome, as it certainly will come shortly? If I were sure it were to\nbegin within an hour, I should be glad with all my heart. If at this\ninstant I should hear such thunderings, and see such lightnings, as\nIsrael did at mount _Sinai_, my very heart would leap for joy. Through\ninfinite mercy, the very meditation of that day ravishes my soul, and\nthe thought of the nearness of it is more refreshing than the comforts\nof the whole world. Surely nothing can more revive my spirits than\nto behold the blessed Jesus, the joy, and life of my soul. Would it\nnot more rejoice me than _Joseph_\u2019s waggons did old _Jacob_? I lately\ndreamed that the day of judgment was come. Methought I heard terrible\ncracks of thunder, and saw dreadful lightnings; the foundations of\nthe earth shook, and the heavens were rolled together as a garment;\nmethought I saw the graves opened, and the earth and sea giving up\ntheir dead; I saw millions of angels, and Christ coming in clouds.\nI beheld the Ancient of Days sitting upon his throne, and all other\nthrones cast down. I beheld him whose garments were white as snow,\nand the hair of his head like pure wool: His throne was like the\nfiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire; ten thousand times ten\nthousand stood before him; and the judgment was set and the books were\nopened. Oh with what an extasy of joy was I surprized! It was the most\nheart-raising sight that ever my eyes beheld: I cried out, _I have\nwaited for thy salvation O God_; and mounted into the air, to meet my\nLord.\n\nThis was the condition of Mr. _Janeway_ for about three years before\nhe died. He had some clouds; but he usually walked in a sweet, even,\nhumble serenity of spirit; having his heart fixed upon that rock that\nneither waves nor winds could shake.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VI.\n\n _His last sickness and death._\n\n\nHE now fell into a deep consumption; but, this messenger of God did not\nin the least damp him. Spitting of blood, was no ghastly thing to one\nwho had his eye upon the blood of Jesus; faint sweats did not daunt him\nthat had always such reviving cordials at hand. It was matter of joy to\nhim, that he was now in hopes of having his earnest desires satisfied.\n\nAfter he had been a while sick, a hidden dimness seized upon his\neyes: by and by his sight quite failed; and there was such a visible\nalteration in him, that he and others judged these things to be the\nsymptoms of death approaching. But when he was thus taken he was not in\nthe least surprized; but was lifted up with joy to think what a life he\nwas going to, looking upon death itself as one of his fathers servants,\nand his friend, that was sent as a messenger to conduct him safely to\nhis glorious palace.\n\nBut it pleased the Lord to raise him again a little out of his fainting\nfit, for his Master had yet more work for him to do. Although his\noutward man decayed apace, yet he was renewed in the inward man day\nby day: his graces were never more active, and his experience never\ngreater. When one would have thought, it had been enough for him\nto grapple with his pains, he quite forgot his weakness: and was so\nswallowed up of the life to come, that he had scarce leisure to think\nof his sickness.\n\nFor several weeks together, I never heard the least word that savoured\nof any complaint or weariness under the hand of God. Now was the time\nwhen one might have seen heaven and the glory of another world realized\nto sense. His faith grew exceedingly, and his love was proportionable,\nand his joys were equal to both.\n\nIt was a very heaven upon earth, to hear and see a man admiring God\nat such a rate. Those that did not see, cannot well conceive, what\na sweet frame he was in, for at least six weeks before he died. His\nsoul was almost always filled with those joys unspeakable and full of\nglory. How oft would he cry out, \u201cOh, that I could let you know what\nI now feel! Oh, that I could shew you what I see! Oh that I could\nexpress the thousandth part of that sweetness that I find in Christ!\nYou would all think it well worth the while to make it your business to\nbe religious. Oh my dear friends, we little think what Christ is worth\nupon a death bed. I would not for a world, nay for millions of worlds,\nbe now without Christ, and a pardon. I would not for a world be to live\nany longer: the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery, make me\ntremble.\u201d\n\nWhen one came to visit him, and told him, that he hoped it might please\nGod to raise him again. _And do you think to please me_ (said he) _by\nsuch discourse as this?_ No, friend, you are much mistaken if you think\nthat the thoughts of life and health are pleasing to me. The world hath\nquite lost its excellency in my judgment. How poor a thing is it in all\nits glory compared with that world which I now live in the sight of!\nAnd as for life, Christ is my life, health, and strength; and I know, I\nshall have another kind of life, when I leave this. I tell you it would\nincomparably more please me, if you should say to me, \u201cbefore to-morrow\nyou will be in eternity.\u201d I so long to be with Christ, that I could\nbe contented to be cut in pieces, so I might but die and be with him.\nOh how sweet is Jesus! _Come Lord Jesus, come quickly._ Death do thy\nworst! Death hath lost it terribleness. Death, it is nothing, I say,\ndeath is nothing (through grace) to me. I can as easily die as shut my\neyes, to turn my head and sleep: _I long to be with Christ; I long to\ndie!_\n\nHis mother and brethren standing by him he said; \u201c_Dear mother_, I\nbeseech you, that you would chearfully give me up to Christ; do not\nhinder me, now I am going to rest in glory. I am afraid of your prayers,\nlest they pull one way, and mine another.\u201d\n\nAnd then turning to his brethren, he said, \u201cI charge you do not pray\nfor my life; you do me wrong if you do. Oh that glory, the unspeakable\nglory that I behold! My heart is full, my heart is full. Christ smiles,\nand I cannot chuse but smile: can you find in your heart to stop me,\nwho am now going to the compleat and eternal enjoyment of Christ?\nWould you keep me from my crown? The arms of my blessed Saviour are\nopen to embrace me; the angels stand ready to carry my soul into his\nbosom. Oh, did you but see what I see, you would all cry out with me,\nhow long, dear Lord; come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! oh, why are his\nchariot-wheels so long a coming!\u201d\n\nA minister came often to him, and discoursed with him of the excellency\nof Christ, and the glory of the invisible world. _Sir_, said he, _I\nfeel something of it; my heart is as full as it can hold in this lower\nstate; I can hold no more here. Oh that I could let you know what I\nfeel!_\n\nThis holy minister praying with him, his soul was ravished with the\nabundant incomes of light, life, and love; so that he could scarce\nbear the thought of staying longer in the world, but longed to be in\nsuch a condition, wherein he should be better able to bear that weight\nof glory; some manifestations whereof did almost sink his weak body.\nIndeed had he not been sustained by a great power, his very joys would\nhave overwhelmed him. While he was in these extasies of joy and love,\nhe was wont to cry out:\n\n\u2018Who am I, Lord, who am I, that thou shouldst be mindful of me! Why me,\nLord, why me! Oh, what shall I say unto thee, thou preserver of men!\nOh why me, Lord, why me! If thou wilt look upon such a poor worm, who\ncan hinder! Who would not love thee! Oh blessed Father? How sweet and\ngracious hast thou been unto me!\u2019\n\n*\u2018Stand astonished, ye heavens, and wonder, O ye angels, at his\ninfinite grace! Was ever any under heaven more beholding to free grace\nthan I? Doth God use to do thus with his creatures? Admire him for\never and ever, Oh ye redeemed ones! Oh those joys, the taste of which\nI have! The everlasting joys, which are at his right hand for evermore!\nEternity, eternity itself is too short to praise this God in. O bless\nthe Lord with me, come let us shout for joy, and boast in the God of\nour salvation. Oh, help me to praise the Lord, for his mercy endureth\nfor ever.\u2019\n\nOne of his brethren (that had formerly been wrought upon by his holy\nexhortations) praying with him, and seeing him (as he apprehended) near\nhis dissolution, desired that the Lord would be pleased to continue\nthose astonishing comforts to the last moment, that he might go from\none heaven to another; and when his work was done here, might have an\neasy and triumphant passage to rest.\n\nMean time he talked as if he had been in the third heaven, and broke\nout:\n\n\u2018Oh, he is come! He is come! O how sweet! How glorious is the blessed\nJesus! What shall I do to speak the thousandth part of his praises!\nOh for words, to set out a little of that excellency! But it is\ninexpressible! Oh how excellent, glorious and lovely is the precious\nJesus! He is sweet, he is altogether lovely! And now I am sick of love,\nhe hath ravished my soul with his beauty! I shall die sick of love!\n\n\u2018Oh my friends, stand by and wonder, come look upon a dying man, and\nwonder; I cannot myself but stand and wonder! Was there ever a greater\nkindness; was there ever sensibler manifestations of rich grace!\nOh, why me! Lord, why me! Sure this is akin to heaven, and if I were\nnever to enjoy any more than this: it were well worth all the torments\nthat men and devils could invent, to come through even hell to such\ntranscendent joys. If this be dying, let no true Christian ever be\nafraid of dying. Oh death is sweet to me. This bed is soft. Christ\u2019s\narms and kisses, his smiles and visits, would turn hell into heaven. Oh\nthat you did but see and feel what I do! Come and behold a dying man,\nmore chearful than ever you saw an healthful man in the midst of his\nsweetest enjoyments. Oh Sirs, worldly pleasures are poor, sorry things,\ncompared with one glimpse of this glory, which shines in so strongly\ninto my soul! Oh why should any of you be so sad, when I am glad: this,\nthis is the hour that I have waited for!\u2019\n\nAbout eight and forty hours before his death, his eyes were dim, and\nhis sight failed; his jaws shook and trembled, and his feet were cold,\nand all the symptoms of death were upon him. His extreme parts were\nalready dead, and yet, his joys were (if possible) greater still. He\nseemed to be in one continued act of seraphic love and praise. He spake\nlike one that was just entring into the gates of the new _Jerusalem_:\nthe greatest part of him was now in heaven; not a word dropt from his\nmouth but it breathed Christ and heaven.\n\nThen he would give instructions to them that came to see him. He was\nscarce ever silent, because the love of Christ and souls constrained\nhim. There was so much work done for Christ in his last hours, that he\ndid as much in one hour as some do in a year.\n\nEvery person had a faithful affectionate warning. And that good\nminister, that was so much with him, used this as an argument to\npersuade him to be willing to live a little longer, \u201cGod hath something\nfor thee to do that is yet undone; some word of exhortation to some\npoor soul, that you have forgot.\u201d\n\nHe was wont every evening to take his leave of his friends, hoping not\nto see them till the morning of the resurrection; and he desired that\nthey would make sure of a comfortable meeting at our Father\u2019s house in\nthat other world.\n\nWhen Ministers or Christians came to him, he would beg of them to\nspend all the time they had with him in praise. \u2018O help me to praise\nGod, I have nothing to do from this time to eternity, but to praise\nand love God. I have what my soul desires upon earth; I cannot tell\nwhat to pray for, but what I have graciously given.\u2019 The wants that are\ncapable of supplying in this world, are supplied. I want but one thing,\nand that is, _a speedy lift to heaven_. I expect no more here, I can\u2019t\ndesire more, I can\u2019t hear more. Oh praise, praise, praise that infinite\nboundless love that hath, to a wonder, looked upon my soul. \u2018Help me,\nO my friends, to praise and admire him that hath done such astonishing\nwonders for my soul: he hath pardoned all my sins, he hath filled me\nwith his goodness; he hath given me grace and glory, and no good thing\nhath he withheld from me.\n\n\u2018Come, help me with praises, all are too little: come, help me, Oh ye\nglorious and mighty angels, who are so well skilled in this heavenly\nwork. Praise him, all ye creatures upon earth, let every thing that\nhath being, help me to praise him, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah:\npraise is now my work, and I shall be engaged in that sweet employment\nfor ever. Bring the bible, turn to _David\u2019s psalms_, and let us sing a\n_psalm_ of praise: come let us lift up our voice in the praise of the\nMost High; I with you as long as my breath doth last, and when I have\nnone, I shall do it better.\u2019\n\nThen turning to some of his friends that were weeping, he desired\nthem rather to rejoice than weep. It may seem a wonder, he could\nspeak so much as he did when he was so weak; but the joy of the Lord\nstrengthened him.\n\nHe commended the study of the promises to believers, and desired that\nthey would be sure to make good their claim to them, and then they\nmight come to the wells of consolation and drink thereof their fill.\n\nAccording to his desire most of the time that was spent with him, was\nspent in praise; and he would be still calling out, _more praise still_.\n\u2018O help me to praise him; I have now nothing else to do; I have done\nwith prayer and all other ordinances; I have almost done conversing\nwith mortals. I shall presently be beholding Christ himself, that died\nfor me, and loved me, and washed me in his blood.\n\n\u2018I shall, before a few hours are over, be in eternity, singing the\nsong of _Moses_, and of the _Lamb_. I shall presently stand upon mount\n_Zion_, with an innumerable company of angels, and the spirits of the\njust made perfect, and Jesus the mediator of the new covenant. I shall\nhear the voice of much people, and be one amongst them, which shall say,\nhallelujah, salvation, glory, honour, and power unto the Lord our God;\nand again, we shall say, hallelujah. Yet a very little while, and I\nshall sing unto the _Lamb_, saying, worthy, art thou to receive praise\nwho wert slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood, out of every\nkindred, and tongue, and people, and nation, and hast made us unto our\nGod, kings, and priests, and we shall reign with thee for ever and ever.\n\n\u2018Methinks, I stand, as it were, with one foot in heaven, and the other\nupon earth. Methinks I hear the melody of heaven, and see the angels\nwaiting to carry my soul to the bosom of Jesus, I shall be for ever\nwith the Lord in glory. And who can chuse but rejoice in all this?\u2019\n\nThe day before his death, he looked earnestly on his brother _James_,\nwho stood by him very sad; of whom he judged, that he was putting\nup some ejaculation to God upon his account: _I thank thee, my dear\nbrother, for thy love_, said he, _thou art now praying for me; and I\nknow thou hast loved me dearly: but Christ loved me ten thousand times\nmore than thou dost; come and kiss me dear brother, before I die_.\nAnd so with his cold, dying lips he kissed him, and said, _I shall go\nbefore, and I hope thou shalt follow after to glory_.\n\nThough he was almost always praising God, and exhorting them that were\nabout him to mind their everlasting concerns, and though he slept but\nvery little for some nights, yet he was not in the least impaired in\nhis intellectuals, but his actions were all decent and becoming, and\nhis discourse rational, solid, divine. And so he continued to the last\nminute.\n\nA few hours before his death he called all his relations together, that\nhe might give them one solemn warning more; and bless them, and pray\nfor them as his breath and strength would give him leave: which he did\nwith abundance of authority, affection and spirituality.\n\n_First_, he thanked his dear mother for her tender love to him, and\ndesired that she might be in travail to see Christ formed in the souls\nof the rest of her children, and might see of the travail of her soul,\nand meet them with joy in that great day.\n\n_Then_ he charged all his brethren and sisters as they would answer\nit before God, to carry it dutiful to their dear mother. And for his\neldest brother _William_ (at whose house he lay sick) his prayer was\nthat he might be swallowed up of Christ and love to souls; and be more\nand more exemplary in his life and successful in his ministry.\n\n His next brother\u2019s name was _Andrew_, a citizen of _London_, who\nwas with him sometimes; but (his necessary business calling him away)\nhe could not then be by. Yet he was not forgot, but he was thus blessed,\n_The God of heaven remember my poor brother at_ London; _the Lord make\nhim truly rich in giving him the pearl of great price, and make him a\nfellow citizen with the saints, and of the houshold of God; the Lord\ndeliver him from the sins of that city; may the world be kept out of\nhis heart. Oh that he may be as his name is, a strong man, and that I\nmay meet him with you_.\n\n_Then_ he called his next brother whose name was _James_ (whom God had\nmade him a spiritual father to) and said _brother_ James, _I hope the\nLord hath given thee a goodly heritage; the lines are fallen to thee in\npleasant places: the Lord is thy portion_. I _hope the Lord hath shewed\nthee the worth of Christ_. Hold on, dear brother; Christ, heaven and\nglory, are worth striving for; the Lord give thee more abundance of his\ngrace.\n\n_Then_ his next brother _Abraham_ was called, to whom he spake to this\npurpose, _the blessing of the God of_ Abraham _rest upon thee, the Lord\nmake thee a father of many spiritual children_.\n\nHis _fifth_ brother was _Joseph_, whom he blessed in this manner; _Let\nhim bless thee, Oh_ Joseph, _that blessed him that was separated from\nhis brethren. O that his everlasting arms may take hold on thee! It\nis enough, if yet thou mayest live in his sight. My heart hath been\nworking toward thee poor_ Joseph; _and I am not without hopes, that\nthe arms of the Almighty will embrace thee. The God of thy father bless\nthee with the blessing of heaven above._\n\n_The next_ was his sister Mary, to whom he spoke thus, _poor sister_\nMary, _thy body is weak and thy days will \u2666be filled with bitterness;\nthy name is_ Marah; _the Lord sweeten all with his grace and peace, and\ngive thee health in thy soul. Be patient, make sure of Christ, and all\nis well._\n\n \u2666 \u201che\u201d replaced with \u201cbe\u201d\n\n_Then_ his other sister whose name was _Sarah_ was called; whom he thus\nblessed, _Sister_ Sarah, _thy body is strong and healthful: Oh that thy\nsoul may be so too! The Lord make thee first a wise virgin, and then a\nmother in_ Israel; _a pattern of modesty, humility, and holiness_.\n\n_Then_ another brother, _Jacob_ was called, whom he blessed after this\nmanner; _The Lord make thee an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no\nguile! Oh that thou mayest learn to wrestle with God, and like a prince\nmayest prevail, and not go without a blessing_.\n\nThen he prayed for his youngest brother _Benjamin_, who was then but an\ninfant; _Poor little_ Benjamin, _O that the Father of the fatherless,\nwould take care of the poor child, that thou, which never sawest thy\nfather upon earth, mayest see him with joy in heaven; The Lord be thy\nFather, and portion: mayest thou prove the son of thy mother\u2019s right\nhand, and the joy of her age._\n\n\u2018O that none of us all may be found amongst the unconverted in the\nday of judgment! Oh that every one of us may appear (with our honoured\nfather and dear mother) before Christ with joy, that they may say, Lord,\nhere are we, and the children which thou hast given us. Oh that we may\nlive to God here, and live with him hereafter.\u2019\n\n\u201cAnd now my dear mother, brethren and sisters, farewell; I leave you\nfor awhile and I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace,\nwhich is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among\nall them that are sanctified.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd now dear Lord, my work is done. I have finished my course, I have\nfought the good fight; and henceforth there remaineth for me a crown of\nrighteousness! Now come, dear Lord Jesus, come quickly.\u201d\n\nThen the minister came to give him his last visit, and to do the office\nof an inferior angel, to help to convey his blessed soul to glory. When\nthe minister spake to him, his heart was in a flame of love, and joy,\nwhich drew tears of joy from him, to hear a man just dying, talk as \u2666if\nhe came from the immediate presence of God. One might have read _grace_\nand _glory_ in his countenance. Oh the praise, the triumphant praises\nthat he put up! And every one must speak praise about him, or else they\nmade a jar in his harmony.\n\n \u2666 \u201cof\u201d replaced with \u201cif\u201d per Errata\n\nAnd indeed most did, as well as they could, help him in praise. So that\nI never heard, or knew more praise given to God in one room, than in\nhis chamber.\n\nA little before he died, in the prayer or rather praises, he was\nso wrapped up with admiration and joy, that he could scarce forbear\nshouting for joy. In the conclusion of the duty, with abundance of\nfaith and fervency, he said aloud, _Amen, Amen_.\n\nAnd now his desires shall soon be satisfied; death comes apace to do\nhis office; his jaws are loosened more and more, his hands and feet\nare cold as clay, and a cold sweat is upon him: but, oh how glad was\nhe when he felt his spirit just a going! never was death more welcome\nto any mortal. Though the pangs of death were strong, yet that far\nmore exceeding weight of glory, made him endure bitter pains with much\npatience and courage. In the extremity of his pains, he desired his\neldest brother to take away one pillow from him that he might die with\nmore ease: His brother replied, that he durst not for a world, do any\nthing that might hasten his death a moment. Then he was well satisfied,\nand sweetly resigned himself up wholly to God\u2019s disposal: and after a\nfew minutes, he gave himself a little turn on one side, and departed to\nthe Lord.\n\nOh that all the relations which thou hast left behind thee, may live\nthy life, and die thy death, and live with Christ and thee, for ever\nand ever. _Amen, Amen._\n\nHe died June, 1657, aged 23\u201224, and was buried in Kelshall Church in\nHertfordshire.\n\n\n\n\n An EXTRACT of the\n LIFE AND DEATH OF\n Mr. THOMAS HALIBURTON.\n\n\n\n\n The PREFACE.\n\n\n1. \u201cTHE _kingdom of |God|,\u201d saith our blessed |Lord|, \u201cis within you.\u201d\nIt is no outward, no distant thing: \u201cbut a well of living water\u201d in the\nsoul, \u201cspringing up into everlasting life.\u201d It is \u201crighteousness and\npeace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.\u201d It is holiness and happiness._\n\n2. _The general manner wherein it pleases |God| to set it up in\nthe heart is this. A sinner, being drawn by the love of the Father,\nenlightened by the Son (\u201cthe true light which lighteth every man that\ncometh into the world\u201d) and convinced of sin by the Holy Ghost; through\nthe preventing grace which is given him freely, cometh weary and heavy\nladen, and casteth all his sins upon him that is \u201cmighty to save.\u201d\nHe receiveth from him, true living faith. Being justified by faith he\nhath peace with |God|: he rejoices in hope of the glory of |God|, and\nknows that sin hath no more dominion over him. And the love of |God|\nis shed abroad in his heart, producing all holiness of heart and of\nconversation._\n\n3. _This work of |God| in the soul of man is so described in the\nfollowing treatise, as I have not seen it in any other, either antient\nor modern, in our own or any other language. So that I cannot but value\nit next to the holy scriptures, above any other human composition,\nexcepting only the |Christian pattern|, and the small remains of\nClemens Romanus, Polycarp, and |Ignatius|._\n\n4. _Yet this great servant of |God| at some times fell back from\nthe glorious liberty he had received, into the spirit of fear and\nsin and bondage. But why was it thus? Because the hand of the |Lord|\nwas shortened? No verily: but because he did not abide in |Christ|;\nbecause he did not cleave to him with all his heart: because he grieved\nthe holy Spirit, by some, perhaps undiscerned, unfaithfulness; who\nthereupon for a season departing from him, left him weak and like\nanother man._\n\n5. _But it may be said, \u201cThe gospel covenant does not promise entire\nfreedom from sin.\u201d What do you mean by the word sin? Those numberless\nweaknesses and follies, sometimes (improperly) termed sins of\ninfirmity? If you mean only this, we shall not put off these but with\nour bodies. But if you mean, \u201cIt does not promise entire freedom from\nsin, in its proper sense, or from committing sin:\u201d this is by no means\ntrue, unless the scripture be false: for thus it is written: \u201cwhosoever\nis born of |God| doth not commit sin:\u201d (unless he lose the spirit of\nadoption, if not finally, yet for awhile, as did this child of God)\n\u201cfor his seed remaineth in him, and he cannot sin, because he is born\nof |God|.\u201d He cannot sin so long as \u201che keepeth himself;\u201d for then\n\u201cthat wicked one toucheth him not.\u201d_ 1\u00a0John iii. 9, 5,\u00a018.\n\n6. _We see then how to judge of that other assertion, \u201cThat the mercy\nof |God| to his sons in |Christ Jesus|, extends to all infirmities,\nfollies and sins, multiplied relapses not excepted.\u201d We grant many of\nthe children of |God| find mercy, notwithstanding multiplied relapses.\nBut tho\u2019 it is possible a man may be a child of |God|, who is not fully\nfreed from sin, it does not follow that freedom from sin is impossible;\nor, that it is not to be expected by all; for it is promised. It is\ndescribed by the Holy Ghost as the common privilege of all. And \u201c|God|\nwill be mindful (O let us be so!) of his covenant and promise, which he\nhath made to a thousand generations.\u201d_\n\n7. _This caution is necessary to be remembered, that ye who are weak\nbe not offended. Neither be ye offended, when ye hear the wisdom of the\nworld pronounce all this, mere enthusiasm: a hard word, which most of\nthose who are fondest of it, no more understand \u2666than they do Arabic.\nAsk, in the spirit of meekness, him who calls it so, \u201cIs the kingdom\nof |God| set up in |your| soul? Do |you| feel that peace of |God| which\npasseth all understanding? Do |you| rejoice with joy unspeakable and\nfull of glory? Is the love of |God| shed abroad in |your| heart, by the\nHoly Ghost which dwelleth in |you|?\u201d If not, you are no judge of these\nmatters. You cannot discern the things of the spirit of |God|. They\nare enthusiasm, madness, foolishness to you: for they are spiritually\ndiscerned._\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cthan\u201d removed\n\n8. _Ask such a one (but with meekness and love) \u201cAre |you| taught of\n|God|? Do you know that he abideth in you? Have you the revelation of\nthe Holy Ghost (they are the words of your own church) inspiring into\nyou the true meaning of scripture?\u201d If you have not, with all your\nhuman science and worldly wisdom, you know nothing yet as you ought\nto know. Whatever you are in other respects, as to the things of |God|,\nyou are an unlearned and ignorant man. And if you are unstable too,\nyou will wrest these, as you do also the other scriptures, to your own\ndestruction._\n\n9. _Be not then surprized, ye that wait for peace, and joy, and\nlove, thro\u2019 faith in the blood of |Jesus|, that such judges, as these\nare continually crying out \u201cEnthusiasm!\u201d if you speak of the inward\noperations of the Holy Ghost. And as to you who have already peace\nwith |God|, thro\u2019 our |Lord Jesus Christ|, who now feel his love shed\nabroad in your hearts, by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you;\nwith whose spirit the spirit of |God| beareth witness, that ye are the\nsons of |God|; it is your part to confirm your love toward them in all\nlowliness and meekness: (for who is it that maketh thee to differ? Or\nwhat hast thou, which thou hast not received?) And to plead earnestly\nfor them at the throne of grace, that the day-star may appear in their\nhearts also, and the sun of righteousness at length arise upon them,\nwith healing in his wings!_\n\n London,\n February 9, 1738\u20129.\n\n JOHN WESLEY.\n\n\n\n\n PART I.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _A short account of his birth and life, till ten years of age._\n\n\n1. MR. _Thomas Haliburton_, was born at _Duplin_, in the parish of\nAberdalgy, (of which his father was sometime minister) on _December 25,\n1674_. The three former parts of the following account were wrote by\nhimself: the last is partly extracted from his diary, and partly taken\nfrom eye and ear-witnesses.\n\n2. The common occurrences of the life of one in all respects so\ninconsiderable, are not worth recording; and if recorded, could be of\nlittle use either to my self or others. But if I can recount what has\npast between God and my soul, so as to discover not only the parts of\nthis work, the several advances it made, the opposition of the world,\nthe devil and my own heart; if I can represent this work in its order,\nit may be of great use to my own establishment; and, should it fall\ninto the hands of any other Christian, it might not be unuseful: for\nthe work of God in all is, as to the substance, the same and uniform;\nand as face answers to face in a glass, so does one Christian\u2019s\nexperience answer to another\u2019s; and both to the word of God.\n\n3. I came into the world with a nature wholly corrupted, and a heart\nfully set in me to do evil: and from the morning of my days, though I\nwas under the great light of the gospel, and the inspection of pious\nparents, and not yet corrupted by custom; yet the imaginations of my\nheart, and the whole tenor of my life were only evil continually.\n\n4. Indeed, in this period of my life, I had unusual advantages: my\nparents were eminently religious; I continually heard the sound of\ndivine truth in their instructions, and had the beauty of holiness set\nbefore my eyes in their example. They kept me from ill company, and\nhabituated me early to such outwards duties as I was capable of. But\nthis care of my father during his life, (which ended October, 1682,)\nand of my mother after his death, did not change, but only hide nature.\nAnd, though I cannot remember all the particulars, from the fourth\nor fifth year of my life; yet I do remember the general bent of my\nmind, which was even then wholly set against God: insomuch, that\nwhen I now survey the decalogue, and review this portion of my time,\nnotwithstanding the great distance, I still distinctly remember, and\ncould easily enumerate many instances of the opposition of my heart\nunto every one of its precepts.\n\n*5. For many years it is true, the sins of this part of my life were\nentirely out of my thoughts. But when God began to convince me of\nsin, even those I had long since forgotten, those that were of an\nolder date than any thing else I could remember, and not attended\nwith any such remarkable circumstances, as could be supposed to make\na deep impression on my memory, were brought on my mind with unusual\ndistinctness. Whence I cannot but observe: 1.\u00a0What exact notice the\nholy God takes of what men pass over as pardonable follies. 2.\u00a0How just\nreason we have to fear, that in the strokes we feel in riper years, God\nis \u201cmaking us to possess the iniquities of our youth.\u201d 3.\u00a0What an exact\nregister, conscience, God\u2019s deputy, keeps; how early it begins; how\naccurate it is (even when it seems to sleep) and how it will justify\nhis severity against sinners at the last day. O how far up will it\nfetch its accounts of those evils which we mind nothing of! When God\nshall open our eyes to discern those _prints which he setteth upon the\nheels of our feet; when the books shall be opened, and the dead, small\nand great, judged out of the things that are written therein_!\n\n*6. When I review this first period of my life, what reason have I to\nbe ashamed, and even confounded, to think I have spent ten years of\na short life, without almost a rational thought, undoubtedly without\nany that was not sinful. And this being matter of undoubted experience,\nI have herein a strong confirmation of my faith, as to the guilt of\n_Adam_\u2019s sin, and its imputation to his posterity: for, 1.\u00a0From a child\nthe bent of my soul was \u201cenmity against God.\u201d Nor was this the effect\nof custom or education, no; there was a sweet conspiracy of precept,\ndiscipline and example, to carry me the contrary way. Nor can I charge\nthe fault of this on my constitution of body, or any thing that might\nin a natural way proceed from my parents. Yet was this enmity so strong\nas not to be supprest, much less subdued, by the utmost care, and\nthe best outward means. This is undoubted fact. 2.\u00a0To say, I was thus\noriginally framed without respect to any sin chargeable on me, is a\nposition so full of flat contrariety to all the notions I can entertain\nof God, to his wisdom, his equity, and his goodness, that I cannot\nthink of it without horror. 3.\u00a0Penal then this corruption must be, as\ndeath and diseases are. And whereof can it be a punishment, if not of\n_Adam_\u2019s sin? While then these things are so plain in fact, and the\ndeduction so easy from them, whatever subtle arguments any use against\nthis great truth, I have no reason to be moved thereby.\n\n7. Hence, lastly, I am taught what estimate to make of those good\ninclinations with which some are said to be born. Either they are the\nearly effects of preventing grace; or, of education, custom, occasional\nrestraints, and freedom from temptation. A natural temper may be easily\ninfluenced by some of these, and by the constitution of the body, to a\ndistaste of those grosser sins which makes the most noise in the world.\nYet all this is but sin under a disguise: and the odds is not great.\nThe one sort of sinners promise good fruit, but deceive; whereas the\nopenly profane forbid expectation. And yet of this last sort more\nreceive the gospel than of the former. _Verily I say unto you, the\npublicans and harlots go into the kingdom of God before you._\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _An account of the next two years of his life._\n\n\n1. IN May 1685, I went with my mother into Holland, and being in some\ndanger while we were at sea, my conscience, till then asleep, began to\nawaken, and to be terrified with apprehensions of death. But all this\nconcern was nothing more than natural fear, and a selfish desire of\npreservation. I was unwilling to die, and afraid of hell: it was not\nsin, but the consequence of it I wanted to escape. The glory of God I\nwas not concerned for at all; and accordingly was the event. I promised,\nthat were I at land, I would keep all his commands. My mother told me,\nit would not hold. But I was too ignorant of my own heart to believe\nher: I multiplied engagements, and doubted not but I should perform\nthem. But no sooner was I fixed at Rotterdam, than I forgot all my\npromises and resolutions. The unrenewed heart being free from the force\nput upon it, fell again into its old course. Nay, I grew still worse:\nthe corruption that stopped for awhile, now ran with greater violence.\nIt is true, my awe for my mother, and the power of education, still\nrestrained me from open sins. But to many secret things I was strongly\ninclined, and in many instances followed my inclinations: being a ready\nand easy prey to every temptation, notwithstanding all my engagements.\n\n2. My sins here had this grievous aggravation, they were committed\nagainst greater light, and more of the means of grace, than I had ever\nbefore enjoyed. We had sermons almost every day, and were catechized\nevery Saturday. My mother took care I should attend most of these,\nand at the same time, private duties, praying with me, and for me,\nand obliging me to read the scripture, and other useful books. But so\nfar was all this from having its due effect, that I was weary of it,\nand went on in sin: though not without frequent convictions, occasioned\nsometimes by the remains of my education. Yet all these were only\nas the starts of a sleeping man, disturbed by some sudden noise: he\nstirs a little but soon sinks down again, faster asleep than before. I\neasily freed myself from them, either by promising to hear, or comply\nwith them afterward, by withdrawing from the means of conviction,\nby extenuating my sins; or by turning my eye to some thing I thought\ngood in myself, though God knows I had little which had even the\nappearance of it. At other times I looked to the tendency of these\nconvictions, _viz._ the engaging me to be holy; and then I pored upon\nthe difficulties of that course, till I had frighted myself from a\ncompliance with them. If all these shifts failed, I then betook myself\nto diversions, which soon choaked the word, and all convictions from it.\n\n3. In December 1686, upon the earnest desire of my father\u2019s sister,\nmarried to the provost of Perth, I was sent home. While I stayed in\nthis family, I saw nothing of religion; and I easily took the liberty\nthey gave, and made fair advances towards rejecting the very form of\nit. My aversion to those sins, which through the influence of education\nI abominated before, sensibly weakened. My hate to learning increased,\nwhich I looked on as a burthen and a drudgery, worse than the basest\nemployment. And many a sinful shift did I betake myself to, that I\nmight get the time shuffled over. In spring my mother came to me. I\nwas then so rooted in ill, that in spite of natural affection, I was\ngrieved at her return; and when I first heard her voice, it damped me.\nI cared not to see her; nor was there any thing I disliked more than\nher conversation. I feared to be questioned as to what was past, or\nto be restrained from my sinful liberty. However, in the beginning of\nsummer, my mother took me again to Rotterdam, and put me to Erasmus\u2019s\nschool there. Here, though I stayed not long, the method of teaching\ntook with me, so that I began to delight in learning. But otherwise I\nwas still worse and worse, under all the means God made use of to bring\nme to myself.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _Of the revival of his convictions, and their effects\n till 1690._\n\n\n1. IN the beginning of Autumn 1687, we returned home, and fixed at\nPerth. Here I was immediately sent to school, and made more progress\nin learning than before. But as to religion, I continued as unconcerned\nabout, and as averse from it as ever. However I behaved myself under\nmy mother\u2019s eye, when I was with my comrades I took my full liberty;\nand, notwithstanding my greater knowledge, ran with them into all the\nsame follies and extravagancies. And thus I continued till toward the\nclose of king James\u2019s reign; when the fear of some sudden stroke from\nthe Papists, of which there was every where a great noise, revived my\nconcern about religion. Of this, being somewhat deeper than before, I\nshall endeavour to give a distinct account.\n\n2. It was about this time that God by the preaching of the word, and\nby catechizing in publick and private, enlightened my mind farther with\nthe notional knowledge of the law, and of the gospel. And then sin was\nleft without excuse, and conscience being armed with more knowledge,\nits checks were more frequent and sharp, and not so easily evaded; some\ntouches of sickness too rivetted in me the impressions of frailty and\nmortality, and the tendency of each of those numerous diseases, to\nwhich we are daily exposed. And hereby I was brought into, and kept\nunder continual bondage through fear of death.\n\n3. I was now cast into the most grievous disquietude, having sorrow in\nmy heart daily. I was in a dreadful strait betwixt two, on the one hand,\nmy fears gave an edge to my convictions of sin. This made me attend\nmore to the word of God; the more I attended to it, they increased the\nmore; and I saw there was no way to be freed from them, but by being\nthoroughly religious. On the other hand if I should engage in religion\nin earnest, I saw the hazard of suffering, perhaps dying for it. And\nthis I could not think of. Betwixt both I was dreadfully tost, so that\nfor some nights, sleep went from my eyes. There was often imprest on my\nfancy, one holding a dagger to my breast, with \u201cQuit your religion or\ndie.\u201d And that so strongly, that I have almost fainted under it, being\nstill terribly unresolved what to do. Some times I would let him give\nthe fatal stroke; but then my spirits failed, and my heart sunk within\nme. At other times I resolved to quit my religion, and take it again\nwhen the danger was past. But neither could I find rest here. What\nthought I, if he destroy me afterward, and so I loose both life and\nreligion? Or what if I die, before the danger is past, and so have no\ntime to take it again.\n\n\u26664. For near a year, few weeks, nay, few days and nights, past over me\nwithout these struggles. But after King James\u2019s army was overthrown,\non July 27, 1689, I soon grew as remiss as before. All my remaining\ndifficulty was to stifle my convictions, which I endeavoured partly\nby a more careful attendance on outward duties, partly by promising to\nabstain from those sins, which most directly crost my light, and partly\nby resolving to enquire farther into the will of God, and to comply\nwith it _hereafter_.\n\n \u2666 \u201c3.\u201d replaced with \u201c4.\u201d\n\n5. But these courses afforded no solid repose. The first sin against\nlight or omission of duty, shook all, and I was confounded at the\nthoughts of appearing before God in such a righteousness. Indeed, I\nhad some ease when trials were at a distance; but it vanished on their\napproach. This was not gold tried in the fire; nor would it abide so\nmuch as a near view of danger; but at the very appearance of a storm,\nthe foundation fell away.\n\n6. The effects of my being thus exercised were: 1.\u00a0I was brought\nto doubt of the truths of religion. Whenever I would have built on\nthem in time of distress, a suspicion secretly haunted me; \u201cWhat if\nthese things are not so? Have I a certainty and evidence about them,\nanswerable to the weight that is to be laid upon them?\u201d Death and the\ntrouble attending it, were certain things: but I was not so certain\nof the truths of religion. Still when, under apprehensions of death, I\nwould have taken rest therein, but my mind began to waver. Not that I\ncould give any reason for it; but _the way of the wicked is as darkness;\nthey know not at what they stumble_. 2.\u00a0I found plainly hereby that I\ncould never have peace, till I came to another sort of certainty about\nreligion. Death I saw was unavoidable and might be sudden; nor could\nI banish the thoughts of it. Therefore I concluded, \u201cUnless I obtain\nsuch a conviction of religion, and such an interest in it, as will\nmake me look death in the face, not only without fear, but with joy;\ngood it were I had never been born.\u201d But how or \u2666where this was to\nbe obtained I was utterly uncertain. Here I lay in great perplexity,\nunder the melancholly sense that I had hitherto _spent my money for\nthat which is not bread, and my labour for that which profiteth not_.\n3.\u00a0This perplexity was somewhat eased one day, while I was reading how\nMr. _Robert Bruce_ was in a doubt, even concerning the being of God,\nwho yet afterwards came to the fullest satisfaction. I then felt a\nsecret hope, \u201cThat sometime in one way or other, God might thus satisfy\n_me_.\u201d Here was the dawning of a light, which though if it was not soon\ncleared up, yet was never wholly put out again. A light which though as\nyet it was far from satisfying, yet kept me from utter despair.\n\n \u2666 \u201cwere\u201d replaced with \u201cwhere\u201d per Errata\n\n7. About this time one Mr. _Donaldson_, a reverend old clergyman,\npreached at _Perth_, and coming to visit my mother, called for me,\nand asked me among other questions, \u201cIf I sought a blessing upon my\nlearning?\u201d I frankly answered, no. He replied, with a severe look,\n\u201cSirrah, unsanctified learning has done much mischief in the church\nof God.\u201d This saying left so deep an impression on me ever after, that\nwhenever I was any way straitened, I applied to God, by prayer for help\nin my learning, and pardon for not seeking it before. Yet as to the\nmain, I was still afar off from God, and an enemy to him both in my\nheart and works.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _Of the increase of his convictions, from_ Autumn 1690,\n _till_ May 1693.\n\n\n1. FOR the better advantage of my education my mother in 1690, removed\nwith me to _Edinburgh_. I was now again put to school, and in _November\n1692_, entered at the college. Here my knowledge of the law of God\ndaily increased; and therewith my knowledge of sin. I saw more and\nmore, that he was displeased with me for sins which formerly I had\nnot observed. The impressions of my mortality were likewise rivetted\nin me by new afflictions, and I was more in bondage through the growing\nfear of death. Again the scriptures being now daily preached, forced me\nto some enquiry into my own sincerity in religion; and I was willing,\nprovided I might save my bosom-idols, not only to hear, but _to do many\nthings_.\n\n2. I was now carried far in a form of religion. I prayed not only\nmorning and evening, but at other times too: I wept much in secret: I\nread and meditated, and resolved to live otherwise than I had done. But\nthis goodness too was as the morning cloud it was force and not nature:\nand therefore could not be expected to last any longer than the force\nwhich occasioned it.\n\n3. While I was under this distress many a wretched shift did I betake\nmyself to for relief. When I read or heard searching things; if any\nthing that was said seemed to make for me, I greedily catched hold of\nit. When I found somewhat required that I neither did, nor could even\nresolve to comply with; I thought to compound and make amends some\nother way. Or else I questioned, whether God had required it or no?\nWhether he that taught so was not mistaken? And whether I might not be\nin a state of salvation, without those marks of it which he assigned.\nAgain, many times when I would not see, I quarrelled with ministers\nor books for not speaking plainly. Always I carefully sought for\nthe lowest marks, and the least degrees of grace that were saving.\nFor I designed but so much religion as would take me to heaven, the\nvery least that would serve the turn. And when none of those shifts\navailed, I resolved in general, to do all that God commanded. But I\nsoon retracted when he tried me in any particulars that were contrary\nto my inclinations. And when I saw I must do it, I begged a little\nrespite: with St. _Austin_, \u201cI was content to be holy, but not yet:\u201d\nforgetting that a delay is, in God\u2019s account, a refusal; since all his\ncommandments require present obedience. After all ways were tried I\nblamed my education. I knew religion was a change of heart; but whether\nmine had undergone this change was the question: Now, thought I, \u201cIf\nI had not been educated religiously, but had changed all at once, it\nwould have been more easily discernable.\u201d Thus was I _entangled in my\nown ways, and even seeking wisdom, I found it not_.\n\n4. Although I now seemed to have gone far; yet I was indeed wholly\nwrong. For being convinced of the necessity of righteousness, but\nignorant of Christ, _I sought it by the works of the law_. Therefore\n_the carnal mind, which was enmity against_ God, still continued in\nme: and all my struggles were only a toiling to and fro, between light\nand love of sin, wherein sin was still conqueror; for my bosom idols I\ncould not part with. Beside the small religion I had, was not abiding,\nbut rose and fell with the above mentioned occasions.\n\n5. About this time _Clark\u2019s Martyrology_ came into my hands. I loved\nhistory and read it greedily. The patience, courage, and joy of the\nmartyrs convinced me that there was a reality in religion, beyond the\npower of nature. I was convinced likewise that I was a stranger to it,\nbecause I could not think of suffering. And withal I felt some faint\ndesires after it, so at least, as often to join in _Balaam_\u2019s wish,\n_Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like\nhis_.\n\n6. At this time likewise God restrained me from many follies I was\ninclined to, by bodily infirmity. He provided me too with friends who\nwere very tender of me. He fed me, _though I knew him not_. But so\nfar was I from being thankful for these mercies, that my proud heart\nfretted at them. O what reason have I to say, _The |Lord| is good even\nto the evil and unthankful._\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _Of the straits he was in, and the course he took for relief,\n from May\u00a01693, to August\u00a01696._\n\n\n1. THE air of _Edinburgh_ agreeing neither with my mother nor me, in\n_May 1693_ she removed to St. _Andrews_. And here I came under the\ncare of Mr. _Taylor_, a wise man, and one very careful of me. Thus\nchased as I was from place to place, God every where provided me with\nfriends. And now by the searching ministry of Mr. _Forrester_, he\nbegan to give me some small discovery of the more spiritual evils of my\nsoul. He opened to me first the pride of my heart, and the wickedness\nand injustice of valuing myself upon those deliverances from my own\nweakness, which had been wholly wrought by his own strength. I likewise\nsaw the impiety of _drawing near to him with my mouth, while my heart\nwas far from him_: and indeed of trusting to any outward performance,\nwithout the life of all, _faith working by love_.\n\n2. This, added to what I was conscious of before, frequently \u2666threw me\ninto racking perplexity; when finding no peace in my former evasions\nI resolved to enter into a solemn covenant with God; and having wrote\nand subscribed this, I believed all was right. I found a sort of\npresent peace; amendment I thought sufficient atonement, and such an\nengagement I looked on as a performance. I now likewise often found an\nunusual sweetness in hearing the word, and sometimes the most piercing\nconvictions. And these were indeed _a taste of the good word of_ God,\n_and of the powers of the world to come_.\n\n \u2666 \u201cthrough\u201d replaced with \u201cthrew\u201d per Errata\n\n3. But the merciful God would not let me rest here: the peace I found\nby making this covenant, was soon lost by breaking it: at the same time\nmy heart smote me for my old sins, by which I found former accounts\nto be still standing against me, which filled me with confusion and\njealousies of these ways. I perceived too, something of the treachery\nof my engagements, and that my heart had not been found therein, but\nhad secret reserves for some sins, which were then given \u2666up inward\nonly. God also let loose some of my corruptions upon me; which as soon\nas his restraint was taken off, were more violent than ever, and bore\ndown before them all that I had set in their way. By these means he\ndiscovered to me the fruitlesness of my covenant, and threw me afresh\ninto the utmost confusion: while the evil I thought so effectually\nprovided against, again came upon me.\n\n \u2666 \u201cme in one word\u201d replaced with \u201cup inward\u201d per Errata\n\n4. Yet notwithstanding I felt the vanity of these ways, I still\nadhered to them. I again trusted my own heart, and hoped to recover\nby renewing the peace I lost by breaking my covenant. I laid the blame\non some accidental defect in my former management, and thought, were\nthat mended, all would be well. When I found something wanting still,\nI contrived to make it up with something extraordinary of my own, with\nthe multiplication of prayers, or of some outward duty or other. But\nall these refuges failed, and my life was so throughly miserable while\nI was pursuing them, that had not the infinite mercy of God prevented,\none of these effects had surely followed. Either, 1.\u00a0The convictions\nI was under would have ceased, God giving over his striving with\nme, and then having attained to a form of godliness, I should have\nrested therein and looked no farther. Or, 2.\u00a0If those convictions had\ncontinued, and I had been left to my own way, I should have _laboured\nin the fire all my days, wearying myself with vanity_, in a continual\nvicissitude of resolutions and breaches, security and disquietude:\nengagements and sins, false peace and racking anxiety, by turns taking\nplace. Or, 3.\u00a0When I had wearied myself in vain, I should have utterly\ngiven up religion, and gone over, if not to direct Atheism, at least to\nopen prophaneness. Or, lastly, Being forced to seek shelter somewhere,\nand being so sadly disappointed in all the ways I tried, I had said,\n_This evil is of the |Lord|, why wait I any longer_? And so sunk\nin final despair. And in fact, I had some experience of all these.\nSometimes I sat down with the bare form. Sometimes I wearied myself\nin running from one of these vain courses to another. At other times,\nfinding no profit, I turned careless, and was on the point of throwing\noff all religion. And very often I was driven almost to distraction,\nand stood on the very brink of despair.\n\n5. When I had been disappointed again and again, I was in the utmost\nperplexity to find where the fault lay. I found this way of covenanting\nwith God mentioned in scripture, recommended by ministers, and approved\nby the experience of all the people of God. I could not tax myself with\nguile in doing it: I was resolved to perform the engagement I made.\nI made it with much concern and solemnity, and for some time kept it\nstrictly. But though I could not then see where the failing was, I\nhave since been enabled to see it clearly. 1.\u00a0_Being ignorant of the\nrighteousness of_ God, I was still _establishing a righteousness of\nmy own_: and though in words I renounced this, yet in fact I sought\nrighteousness and peace, not in the Lord Jesus, but in my own covenants\nand engagements, so that I really put them in Christ\u2019s room: and as\nto forgiveness of sins, my real trust was not in his blood, but in\nthe evenness of my own walk. Therefore, I obtained not righteousness,\n_because I still sought it, as it were by the works of the law_. And\nit was evident I did so, by this plain sign; whenever I was challenged\nfor sin, instead of recourse to the blood of Christ, I still sought\npeace only in renewing my vows again; the consent I gave to the law,\nwas not from the reconcilement of my heart to its holiness; but merely\nfrom fear. The enmity against it continued: nor would I have chosen it,\nhad that force been away. Farther, my eye was not single; provided I\nwas safe, I had no concern for the glory of God. In a word, I engaged,\nbefore God had thoroughly engaged me. We may be in a sort willing,\nbefore he hath made us truly so. But the first real kindness begins\nwith him: and we never love till his kindness draws us. Fear may indeed\noverpower us into something like it, as it did me. I was willing to\nbe saved from hell: but not to be saved in God\u2019s way, and in order to\nthose ends he proposes in our salvation.\n\n6. This was not my only trouble. I was now engaged in metaphysics and\nnatural divinity; accustomed to subtil notions, and pleased with them;\nwhence, by the just permission of God, the devil took occasion to cast\nme into doubts about the great truths of religion, especially the being\nof a God. I not only felt, as formerly, the want of evidence for it,\nbut various arguments were suggested against it. But though the enmity\nof my heart against God was still great, yet he suffered me not to\nyield to them. There remained so much evidence of his being, in his\nworks of creation and providence, as made me recoil at the terrible\nconclusion, aimed at by those arguments. And being likewise affected\nwith deep apprehensions of the shortness and uncertainty of the present\nlife, I dreaded a supposition that shook the foundations of any hope of\nrelief, from the other side of time.\n\n7. In this strait between light and darkness, as my disturbance was\nfrom my own reasonings, so from the same I sought my relief. By these\nI hoped to obtain establishment in the truth, and give answer to all\nobjections against it. I therefore seriously set myself to search\nfor demonstrative arguments: and I found them, but found no relief.\nThe most forcible of them indeed extorted assent, by the absurdity of\nthe contrary conclusion: but not giving me any satisfying discoveries\nof that God, whose existence they obliged me to own, my mind was\nnot quieted. Nay, and besides, those arguments not dissolving\ncontrary objections, whenever the light of them was removed, and those\nobjections came again in view, I was again exceedingly shaken. I was\nlike him, who reading Plato _of the immortality of the soul_, said,\n\u201cWhile I read, I assent: but I cannot tell how; so soon as I lay down\nthe book, all my assent is gone.\u201d\n\n8. I still hoped to attain what I had hitherto failed of, by some\nfarther progress in learning: but all in vain: the farther I went,\nthe greater was my disappointment; the more difficulties I continually\nmet with, and found _he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow_.\nWhen this would not avail, then I spent my weary hours in vain wishes\nfor some extraordinary discoveries. _Nay, but if one rose from the\ndead, they will believe._ And this, notwithstanding my disappointment\nI gained: I was somewhat beat from that towring opinion of my knowledge\nand abilities, which my first seeming success in philosophy gave me,\nand brought to a diffidence of myself.\n\n9. But still my corruptions took daily root, and increased in strength\nby my weak resistance. Yet I had a fair form of religion: I avoided\nall those sins that plainly thwarted the light of my conscience. I\nabstained from those evils which even the more serious students gave\ninto; and kept at a distance from the occasions of them. I was more\nexact in attending both public and private prayer, and not without some\nconcern for my inward frame in them. When I was insnared into any sin\nor omission of any duty, I was deeply sorrowful. I had a kindness for\nall that feared God, and a pleasure in their converse, especially on\nreligion. I had frequent tastes of the good word of God, which made me\ndelight in approaching him. I had many returns to prayer; when under a\ndeep sense of my impotence, I betook me to God in any strait, I was so\nremarkably helped, that I could not but observe it. Hereby God drew me\ngradually in, to expect every good gift from above, and encouraged the\nvery faintest beginnings of a look toward a return.\n\n10. But tho\u2019 by these means I got a name to live, yet was I really\ndead. For, 1.\u00a0My natural darkness still remained, tho\u2019 with some small\ndawnings of light. 2.\u00a0The enmity of my mind against the law of God\nwas yet untaken away. I had not a respect unto all his commands, nor\na sight of the beauty of holiness: neither did my heart approve of the\nwhole yoke of Christ, as good and desirable; and I complied with it\nin part, not from a delight therein, but because I saw I was undone\nwithout it. 3.\u00a0I yet _sought righteousness as it were by the works of\nthe law_; I was wholly legal in all I did: not seeing the necessity,\nthe security, the glory of the gospel-method of salvation, by seeking\nrighteousness and strength in the Lord Christ alone. Lastly, my sole\naim was to save myself, without any regard to the glory of God, or\nany enquiry how it could consist with it to save one who had so deeply\noffended. In a word, all my religion was servile, constrained, and\nanti-evangelical.\n\n11. From the foregoing passages I cannot but observe, 1.\u00a0What a depth\nof deceitfulness there is in the heart of man. How many shifts did\nmine use to elude the design of all those strivings of the Spirit of\nthe Lord with me? I have told many, but the one half is not told. And\nall these respect but one point in religion. If a single man were to\nrecount but the more remarkable deceits, with respect to the whole of\nhis behaviour, how many volumes must he write? And if so many be seen,\nhow many secret, undiscernable, or at least undiscerned deceits must\nstill remain! So much truth is there couched in that short scripture,\n_The heart is deceitful above all things: who can know it?_\n\n*I observe, 2. How far we may go toward religion, and yet come short\nof it. I had and did many things: I heard the scriptures gladly:\u2015\u2015I\nwas _almost persuaded to be a Christian_: I had _escaped the_ outward\n_pollutions that are in the world_: yea, I seemed _enlightened, and a\npartaker of the heavenly gift_; having many times _tasted the good word\nof_ God, _and the powers of the world to come_. I had undergone many\nchanges; but not the great change: I was not born of God: I was not\nbegotten anew, and made a child of God through a living faith in Christ\nJesus.\n\nAgain, I cannot but look back with wonder at the astonishing patience\nof God, which suffered my manners so long, and the steadiness he shewed\nin pursuing his work, notwithstanding all my provocations. All the\ncreation could not have afforded so much forbearance: the disciples of\nChrist would have called for fire from heaven: yea, _Moses_ would have\nfound more here to irritate him than at _Meribah_. Glory be to God,\nthat we have to do with him, and not with man. His ways are not as our\nways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts: but as the heavens are high\nabove the earth, so are his ways and thoughts of mercy above ours.\n\n*_Fourthly_, I must bear witness to the reasonableness of God\u2019s way. It\ndid not destroy my faculties, but improve them. He enlightened my eyes\nto see what he would have me to do, and did not force but gradually\npersuade me to comply with it. This was not to compel, but gently bend\nthe will, to the things that were really fit for it to incline to:\nnor did he ever oblige me to part with any sin, till he had let me see\nit was against my interest as well as duty: and the smallest piece of\ncompliance with his will, wanted not even a present reward.\n\n_Lastly_, Though this work was agreeable to reason, yet it was far\nabove the power of nature. I cannot ascribe either its rise or progress\nto myself; for it was what I sought not, I thought not of; nay I hated,\nand feared and avoided, and shunned and opposed it with all my might.\nI cannot ascribe it to any outward means. There are many parts of it\nwhich they did not reach: and as to the rest, the most forcible failed;\nthe weakest wrought the effect. Neither strong, nor weak had the same\neffect always. But the work was still carried on, by a secret and\nundiscernable power, like the wind, blowing where it listeth. It bore\nthe impress of God in all its steps. The word that awakened me, was the\nvoice of _him who maketh the dead to hear, and calleth the things which\nare not, as though they were_. The light that shone was, _the candle\nof the_ Lord, tracing an unsearchable heart through all its windings.\nIt was all the work of one who is every where, who knoweth every thing,\nand who will not faint or be discouraged, till he hath brought forth\njudgment unto victory. And it was all an uniform work, though variously\ncarried on, through many interruptions, over many oppositions, for\na long tract of time, by means seemingly weak, improper, contrary,\nsuitable only for him whose paths are in the great waters, and whose\nfootsteps are not known. In a word, it was a bush burning and not\nconsumed, only by the presence of God. It was as a spark in the midst\nof the ocean, still kept alive, notwithstanding floods continually\npoured upon it. This was the Lord\u2019s doing, and it is marvellous in our\neyes.\n\n\n\n\n PART II.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of the progress of his convictions and temptations._\n\n\n1. I HAD now a design to go abroad: but on the advice of some friends,\nI laid aside that design, and engaged as chaplain to a family.\nAccordingly in _August 1696_, I went to the _Wemyss_. When I came\nhither, a stranger among persons of considerable quality, I was in a\ngreat strait, and cried to God for help. And though it was my own, more\nthan his honour, I was concerned for, yet he, who would not overlook\neven _Ahab_\u2019s humiliation, did not fail to assist me, so far as to\nmaintain the respect due to the station I was in.\n\n2. I had not been here long, when I was often engaged (and frequently,\nwithout necessity) in debates about the divinity of the scriptures,\nand the most important doctrines therein. This drew me to read the\nwritings of Deists, that I might know the strength of the enemy. But\nI soon perceived, that these foolish questions and contentions were\nunprofitable and vain. For evil men and seducers will wax worse and\nworse, deceiving and being deceived. And to my sad experience I found,\nthat their word doth eat as doth a gangrene: so that happy is he who\nstops his ears against it!\n\n3. The reading these was of dangerous consequence to one who was not\nrooted and grounded in the truth. Their objections I found struck at\nthe foundations; they were many, new, and set off to the best advantage\nby the cunning craftiness of men practised in deceit. Nor was I\nacquainted with that vigilance and humble sobriety that were necessary\nfor my defence against them. The adversary finding all things thus\nprepared, set furiously upon me. He wrought up first the natural\natheism, darkness and enmity of my own heart, blasphemously to ask\nconcerning the great truths of religion, \u201cHow can these things be?\u201d\nTo increase these doubts he employed some who had all the advantages\nof nature and education, persons smooth, sober, of generous tempers,\nand good understandings, to oppose the truth with the most plausible\nappearances of argument and reason. To all this he added his own subtil\nsuggestions, \u201cHath God indeed said so?\u201d And sometimes he threw in fiery\ndarts, to enflame and disorder me; especially, when I was alone, or\nmost seriously employed in prayer or meditation.\n\n4. By all these ways he assaulted me, both as to the being of God,\nas to his providence, and as to the truth both of his revelation\nin general, and of many particulars contained in it. Sometimes he\nsuggested the want of sufficient evidence; at other times, that it was\nobscure or hard. Yea, some parts of it were accused as plain blasphemy:\nsome as contradictory to each other. The great mystery of the gospel\nwas particularly set upon and represented as foolishness: and for fear\nof some or other of those suggestions, it was even a terror to me, to\nlook into the bible.\n\n5. The subtle enemy, who had so often before tempted me to pride,\nnow pressed me to a bastard sort of humility. \u201cHow can such an one as\nyou expect to remove difficulties, which so many abler men have sunk\nunder?\u201d By this I was brought into grievous perplexity. I sought relief\nfrom my own reasonings, from books, and even from prayer, but I found\nit not. Then I wished for some extraordinary revelation; and at last\nsat down with the sluggard, _folding my hands, and eating my own flesh_.\nMy own reasonings availed not against him, _who esteems iron as straw,\nand brass as rotten wood_. All my books overlooked many of my scruples,\nand did not satisfy me as to the rest. And as to extraordinary\nexpectations, God justly rejected them, seeing I would not hear Moses\nand the prophets. So that I had quite sunk under the weight of my\ntrouble, and been swallowed up of sorrow and despair, had it not\nbeen for some little assistances which the goodness of God gave me,\nsometimes one way, sometimes another. When I was urged to reject the\nscriptures, it was often seasonably suggested, _To whom shall I go?\nThese are the words of eternal life._ God powerfully convinced me, and\nkept the conviction strong upon my mind, that whenever I parted with\nrevelation, I must give up all prospect of certainty or satisfaction\nabout eternal life. The boasted demonstrations of a future happiness,\nbuilt only on the light of nature, I had tried long ago, and found\nto be altogether weak and inconclusive; though had they been ever\nso conclusive, I had been not a whit the nearer satisfaction. For,\nto tell me of such a state, without an account of its nature, or\nthe terms whereon it was attainable, was all one as if nothing had\nbeen said about it, and left my mind in equal confusion. Again, on\na due observation of those who were truly religious, I could not but\neven then think them the better part of mankind; and my soul started\nat charging all the best of mankind with a lie in a thing of the\ngreatest importance. On the other hand, God opened my eyes to see the\nunaccountable folly of those who had abandoned revealed religion. The\nscripture tells them plainly, they must do his will, if they would know\nwhether the doctrine be of God. But they walk in a direct contradiction\nto his will; how then can they know of the doctrine? Nay, some sober,\nlearned, and otherwise inquisitive persons, owned, that we are already\nmiserable, if we are either cut off from the hopes of, or left at\nuncertainty about a future state of happiness. They owned likewise\nthemselves to be thus uncertain, and yet were at little or no pains to\nbe satisfied; yea, I found they rather sought for what might strengthen\ntheir doubts than remove them; which plainly shewed a hatred of the\nlight.\n\n6. I received further help from considering the lives, but more\nespecially the deaths of the martyrs. When I considered the number, the\nquality, and all the circumstances of those who had been _tortured, not\naccepting deliverance_, I could not but own the finger of God, and the\nreality of religion. The known instances of its power over children in\ntheir tender years, appeared likewise of great weight; and I began to\nget frequent touches of conviction, whereby feeling the piercing virtue\nof his word, making manifest the secrets of my heart, I was forced to\nown God to be in it of a truth. Lastly, I found a secret hope begot\nand cherished I know not how, sometimes even amidst the violence of\ntemptations, that as God had delivered others from temptations like\nmine, (though I doubted, if ever any had been so much molested as I) so\nhe would deliver me at length; that what I knew not now, I should know\nhereafter: that my mouth should yet be filled with his praise: and that\nSatan\u2019s rage shewed his time was but short.\n\n7. Hereby I was enabled, not only to persevere, and with more\nearnestness, both in public and private duties, but also carefully\nto conceal all my straits from others, who might have stumbled at, or\nbeen hardened by them. I was unwilling others should know any thing\nthat might disgust them at religion; _Tell it not in_ Gath, _lest the\ndaughters of the uncircumcised triumph_. *In converse with such as were\nshaken, I still stood for the truth, as if I had been under no doubt\nabout it. And I must own, that while I did so, God often gave me both\nsuccess with others, and satisfaction in my own mind. How good a master\nis God! A word spoken for him is not lost: nor will he suffer the least\nservice to be in vain. A Heathen Cyrus, yea Nebuchadnezzar himself,\nshall not work without his reward.\n\n8. Before I proceed, I must observe the folly of reasoning with Satan;\nwhenever I did so, he had still great advantage: he easily evaded all\nmy arguments, and enforced his own suggestions: and even when they were\nnot maintained by argument, he injected them so strongly, that I was\nnot able to stand against them: our safest course is to hold him at a\ndistance, and avoid all communion with him. *I must observe likewise,\nthe wise providence of God, that the greatest difficulties against\nreligion are hid from Atheists. None of the objections they make are\nnear so subtle as those which were often suggested to me. Indeed they\ndo not view religion near enough, to see either the difficulties, or\nthe advantages that attend it. And the devil finding them quiet, keeps\nthem so, not using force, where he can do his work without it. Besides,\nGod, in his infinite wisdom, permits, not all these subtleties of hell\nto be published, in tenderness to the faith of the weak, which could\nnot bear so severe an assault.\n\n9. I lay under many inconveniences all this while. Most of the converse\nI had was with unholy men. I had no friend to whom I could impart my\ngriefs with freedom, or any prospect of satisfaction. And the entire\nconcealing my concern made it fasten more and more, and drink up\nmy blood and spirits. I laid aside my studies; I could not pursue\neither business or diversion: I had no heart to any thing; I could\nnot read, unless now and then a small portion of scripture, or some\nother practical book (except when, for a short space, there was an\nintermission of my trouble.) For near a year and a half I read scarce\nany thing; and this slothful posture laid me open to fresh temptations,\nand made my corruptions grow stronger still.\n\n10. Yet even now, God minding his own work, by the means of his word,\nbrought the law, in its spiritual meaning, nearer. And then I found\nmore discernibly the stirrings of sin, which taking occasion from the\ncommandment, and being fretted at the light let into my soul, wrought\nin me all manner of concupiscence. Hereby I was plunged into deeper\nguilt; _My iniquities went over my head_; and my conscience was so\nalarmed, _that I found no rest in my bones by reason of my sin_.\n\n11. I still laboured for rest, either by extenuating my faults,\npleading the strength of temptation, (sometimes not without secret\nreflections upon God) or by trying to persuade myself they were no\nfaults at all. When all these failed, I made new vows and resolutions;\nand _November\u00a023, 1697_, (a day I had set apart for fasting and prayer)\nI drew up a short account of my treacherous dealing with God from my\nyouth up, and solemnly bound myself to him for the time to come.\n\n12. But tho\u2019 by this means I was kept from open pollutions; tho\u2019 I was\ncareful of outward duties; received the word with joy; watched against\npride of heart, unbelief, and other spiritual evils; though I fasted,\nprayed, mourned, and was much in secret; yea, strove against all sins,\neven those I loved best; yet all this was only a form of religion,\nthe power of which I was still a stranger to. I was a stranger to\nthat blessed relief of sinners, faith imputed for righteousness.\nThough I professed to believe it, I was really in the dark, as to its\nglorious efficacy, tendency and design. Still my eye was not single;\nI regarded only myself, and not the glory of God. It was still by some\nrighteousness of my own, in whole or in part, that I sought relief.\nThough I did part with my beloved sins, yet it was neither without\nreluctance, nor without some secret reserve. Lastly, My heart was\nutterly averse from all spiritual religion: and if I sometimes aimed\nat fixing my mind on heavenly things; yet it was soon weary of this\nforcible bent, and it seemed intolerable to think of being always\nspiritual.\n\n13. I was now reduced to the last extremity. My sins were set in order\nbefore me, and had taken such hold upon me, that I was not able to\nlook up. They were set in order in the dreadfulness of their nature and\naggravations; my excuses baffled, and _my mouth stopped before_ God.\nAll the ways I had taken for my relief had deceived me; they were the\nstaff of a broken reed; they pierced my arm when I essayed to lean upon\nthem; and _I was ashamed, and even confounded, that I had hoped_. The\nwrath of God was likewise dropped into my soul, and _the poison of his\narrows drunk up my spirits_. Add to this, that I was still unsatisfied\nabout religion, and my enemies often told me, that even in God there\nwas no succour for me. Yea, sometimes Satan, to entangle me the more,\nassaulted all the truths of religion at once; and then I was utterly\nconfounded, when the Lord commanded that my enemies should close me in\non every side.\n\n14. By the extremity of this anguish, I was for some time, about the\nend of ninety-seven, and the beginning of ninety-eight, dreadfully cast\ndown. I was weary of my life. Oft did I use _Job_\u2019s words, _I loath it,\nI would not live alway_. And yet I was afraid to die. I had no rest;\n_My sore ran in the day, and in the night time it ceased not_. At night\nI wished for day, and in the day I wished for night. I said, _My couch\nshall comfort me; but then darkness was as the shadow of death_. I was\noften on the brink of despair. _He filled me with bitterness, he made\nme drunk with wormwood. He removed my soul far from peace: I forgat\nprosperity. I said my hope and my strength are perished from the Lord._\nI wondered that I was not consumed; and though I dreaded destruction\nfrom the Almighty, yet I must have justified him if he had destroyed\nme. Thus I walked about dejected, weary and heavy laden: weary of my\ndisease, and weary of my vain remedies; and utterly uncertain what to\ndo next, or what course to take.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _Of his deliverance from these temptations._\n\n\n*IT was in this extremity God stepped in; he found me wallowing in\nmy blood, in a helpless and hopeless condition. I was quite overcome,\nneither able to fight nor fly, when the Lord passed by me, and made\nthis time a time of love. Towards the beginning of _February 1698_,\nthis seasonable relief came. I was then, as I remember, at secret\nprayer, when he discovered himself to me, when he let me see, that\nthere are _forgivenesses with him, and mercy, and plenteous redemption.\nHe made all his goodness to pass, and he proclaimed his name, the Lord,\nthe Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in\ngoodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity,\ntransgression and sin; who will be gracious to whom he will be gracious,\nand will shew mercy to whom he will shew mercy._ This was a strange\nsight to one who before looked on God only as a consuming fire, which I\ncould not see and live. He brought me from _Sinai_, and its thundrings,\nto mount _Sion_, and to _the blood which speaketh better things than\nthat of Abel_. I now with wonder beheld Christ in his glory, _full\nof grace and truth_. I saw that he, who had before rejected all my\nofferings, was well pleased in the Beloved, being fully satisfied,\nnot only that there is forgiveness of sins, through the redemption\nwhich is in Jesus; but also, that God by this means might be _just_\nin _justifying_ even _the ungodly that believe in him_. How was I\nravished with delight, to see that such mercy might consist even with\nhis inflexible justice and spotless purity? And yet more, when he let\nme see, that to me, even to me, was the word of this salvation sent;\nthat even I was invited to _come_, and _take the water of life freely_!\nFarther, he discovered to me his design in the whole, even _that no\nflesh might glory in his sight_: that he might manifest the riches of\nhis grace, and _be exalted in shewing mercy_. And when this strange\ndiscovery was made, of a relief which made full provision both for\nGod\u2019s glory and my salvation, my soul was sweetly carried out to rest\nin it, as worthy of God, and every way suited to my necessity.\n\n2. All these discoveries were conveyed to me by his word: not indeed\nby one particular passage, but by the concurring light of many of its\ntestimonies and promises, seasonably set home, and plainly expressing\nthose truths; thus I found it to be the power of God unto salvation.\nBut neither was it his word alone; for the same passages I had read\nbefore, and thought upon, without any relief; but now the Lord shined\ninto my mind by them. Before this I knew the letter only, but now the\nwords were spirit and life; a burning light by them shone into my mind,\nand gave me not merely some notional knowledge, but an experimental\n_knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ_. *And\nvastly different this was from all the notions I had before of the\nsame truths. It shone from heaven: it was not a spark kindled by my\nown endeavours, but it shone suddenly about me: it came by a heavenly\nmeans, the word; it opened heaven, and discovered heavenly things; and\nits whole tendency was heavenward. It was a true light, giving true\nmanifestations of the one God, and the one Mediator between God and\nman, and a true view of my state with respect to God, not according\nto my foolish imaginations. It was a distinct and clear light, not\nonly representing spiritual things, but manifesting them in their\nglory, and in their comely order. It set all things in their due line\nof subordination to God, and gave distinct views of their genuine\ntendency. It was a satisfying light; the soul absolutely rested upon\nthe discoveries it made: it was assured of them; it could not doubt\nif it saw, or if the things were so as it represented them. It was a\nquickening, refreshing, healing light. It arose with healing in its\nwings. It was a powerful light; it dissipated that thick darkness\nwhich overspread my mind, and made all those frightful temptations,\nthat before tormented me, instantly flee before it. Lastly, It was a\ncomposing light; it did not, like a flash of lightning, fill the soul\nwith fear and amazement; but it quieted my mind, and gave me the full\nand free use of all my faculties. I need not give a large account of\nthis light, for no words can give a notion of light to the blind; and\nhe that has eyes, (at least, while he sees it) will need no words to\ndescribe it. Proceed we, then, to its fruits, whereby the difference\nof it from all my former light will most evidently appear.\n\n3. The first effect of it was an approbation of God\u2019s way of saving\nsinners by Jesus Christ; as a way of relief in all respects suitable to\nthe needs of a poor, guilty, self-condemned, self-destroyed sinner, who\nis at length beat from all other reliefs, and hath his mouth entirely\nstopped before God. In this I rested as a way full of peace and comfort,\nand providing abundantly for all those ends I desired to have secured.\nAnd this approbation discovered itself ever after in all temptations,\nby keeping up in me a settled persuasion, that _God hath given to us\neternal life, and this life is in his Son_. And when afterwards I was\nunder temptations, it still kept me firm in an absolute determination\nutterly to reject all other ways of relief, whether I found present\ncomfort in this or no. This was also my only sanctuary against guilt;\n_let me be found in him, not having mine own righteousness_. And\nwhenever God gave me a fresh beam of this light, all difficulties\nvanish\u2019d away; then I rejoiced in Christ Jesus, and nothing was able\nto disturb me while it lasted; and ever after I was then only pleased,\nwhen I found my soul, in some measure, moulded into a compliance with\nthe design of the gospel, emptied of myself, subjected to God, and\ncareful to have him alone exalted.\n\n4. A second effect of this discovery was, my eye began to be single,\nlooking in all things, to the glory of God. I now desired that he\nalone, (which before I had no real concern for) might be glorified\nin my life, or by my death. I saw that shame and confusion belonged\nto me and to him only the whole glory of my salvation. I watched over\nthe most secret \u2666actings of pride, labouring to renounce it utterly,\nlooking on it as my grand enemy, on which I was always to have an eye,\nand counting the power it still had, my greatest affliction. I never\nfound comfort, but when this idol was discernably abased; and when ever\nthis light shone in proportion to its clearness and continuance, the\npower of this was weakened in my soul, and I sought not myself but\nChrist Jesus.\n\n \u2666 \u201cactions\u201d replaced with \u201cactings\u201d per Errata\n\n5. A third effect of this light was with respect to his commandments,\nwhich I now saw were _not grievous, but right concerning all things_. I\nown\u2019d his yoke to be easy, and his burden light. Amidst all temptations\nI knew the law was holy, just and good; I perceived too, that it was\nexceeding broad, extending even to the lightest motion of the heart.\nThe duties I was most averse from before were now easy, pleasant, and\nrefreshing. I saw a peculiar beauty in those laws in particular that\ncrossed the sins which had the firmest rooting in my temper. None were\nso hateful to me; for none did I loathe myself so much; none was I so\nglad of a victory over. My mind was continually engaged in contrivances\nfor their ruin, which formerly, I still sought to spare. And would God\nhave given me my choice, to have the laws against them blotted out,\nhe knows I should not have chose it, and that I should have thought his\nlaw less pleasant and less perfect, had these prohibitions been wanting.\nI took pleasure in others only so far as there appeared in them any\nthing of an humble, self-denying conformity to his law, and had a\nfix\u2019d dislike of the least inconformity thereto, either in myself or\nothers. In a word I saw, that if I could reach holiness I should have\npleasure, and peace, and liberty; that all wisdom\u2019s ways, were ways of\npleasantness; nor was any thing insupportable to me, but that remaining\nunsubdued corruption that would not stoop to put its neck under her\nyoke.\n\n*6. A fourth effect of it was a right sorrow for sin, flowing from a\ndeep sense of my ingratitude, to provoke such a God, who had prevented\nand still followed me with so much mercy. And this sorrow filled my\nheart with love to God, and his way, sweetened my soul, and endeared\nGod to it. And the more God manifested his kindness, the more it\nincreased; when he was pacified, I was ashamed and confounded; nor was\nit a burdensome, but a sweet and pleasant sorrow, as being the exercise\nof filial gratitude. This sense of my unkindness, when kept within,\ncovered me with blushes; and I was eased, when God allowed me to vent\nmy sense of it, and to pour it, as it were into his bosom. It was\nlikewise a spring of activity in the way of duty. I was glad to be\nemployed in the meanest work, which might shew how deeply sensible I\nwas of my former disobedience. It was not as my late sorrow, pregnant\nwith pride, stiffness and unwillingness to suffer any chastisement;\nbut it humbled, softened the soul, and made it willing to _bear the\nindignation of the Lord, since I had sinn\u2019d against him_. In a word, I\nwas glad when God gave me my measure of it, and grieved when I found it\nwanting, and I cried to the Prince exalted for it, as a necessary help\nto the obeying his whole law.\n\n7. A fifth effect of this light, was a comfortable hope of salvation,\nrising in strength, or growing more weak, as the discoveries of the\nway of salvation, were more or less clear and strong. I knew I could\nnot fail of salvation, otherwise than by missing this way. Sometimes I\ndoubted of myself, but not of the way; so far as I walked in it, I was\nsweetly satisfied that my expectation should not be cut off. And as\nthis light shewed salvation in a way of self-denial, and trust only in\nthe Lord, nothing so shook this hope, as the least stirring of pride.\nAs this sight of the glory of the Lord always filled me with shame, so\nthe deeper my humiliation the stronger was my confidence. And so far\nwas this assurance from begetting negligence, that it could not consist\nwith it. To intermit or neglect duty, razed the foundation, or at least,\nlaid an insurmountable stop in the way of its progress.\n\n8. Many other effects there were, too long to repeat at large. I felt\na new and formerly unknown, love to all who seemed to have any thing\nof the image of God, though known only by report; and this evidenced\nitself in prayer for them, and sympathy with them in their afflictions.\nAgain, I found my care of all God\u2019s concerns enlarged, and I desired\nmore and more, that he might be exalted upon earth. I was grieved at\nany loss his interest sustained, and zealous for his glory. To conclude,\nI found this light sweetly drawing me to a willing, chearful endeavour\nafter holiness in all manner of conversation. Thus were all things in\nsome measure become new; and I who a little before, with the goaler,\nhad fallen down trembling, was now raised, and set down to feast with\nthe disciples of the Lord, rejoicing and believing.\n\n\n\n\n PART III.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of the pleasure of this state; the mistakes attending it,\n and the way of their discovery._\n\n\n1. THIS glorious discovery was very surprising: oft I stood and\nwonder\u2019d what this strange sight meant. The greatness of the things\nGod \u2666had done surpassed belief; and yet the effects would not suffer\nme to doubt of them. Not that I distinctly observed them at the very\nfirst; the glory of the Lord was then so great, that for a time I fixed\nmy eyes on that, and was less intent on the change which it wrought\nin me. Again, I was the less exact in observing them then, because of\nthe darkness still remaining in me. I clearly saw the mystery of free\njustification through Christ, and peace by his blood: but I was still\nsadly ignorant of many of the most important things relating even to\nthat mystery: as the daily application of that atonement, and the use\nof Christ with respect to sanctification, What therefore God did at\nthis time I knew not now, but hereafter, when the Comforter had further\ninstructed me in the gospel, as my exigencies required: then, at length,\nI saw distinctly the work of God, and what he had done for me.\n\n \u2666 \u201chath\u201d replaced with \u201chad\u201d per Errata\n\n2. This discovery could not but be full of ravishing sweetness,\nconsidering the state wherein it found me. I was condemned by God and\nmy own conscience, and under pressing fears of a present execution of\nthe sentence. When the labours of the day required that I should sleep,\nand my body wasted with the disquiet of my mind, yet I was afraid to\nclose my eyes lest I should wake in hell, and durst not suffer myself\nto sleep, till I was beguiled into it I knew not how. Was it strange,\nthat the hopes of pardon were sweet to one in such a condition, whereby\nI laid down in safety and quiet rest, while there was none to make me\nafraid? A little before, the _waters compassed me about, even to the\nsoul! the deep closed me round about, I went down to the bottoms of\nthe mountains, and said, I am cast out of_ God\u2019s _sight_. Now, was\nit any wonder that such an one should rejoice, when brought into a\ngarden of delights and set down under the refreshing rays of the sun\nof righteousness? And the things he discovered to me here were not only\naltogether new and such as I was utterly unacquainted with before; but\nalso glorious in themselves. It was the glory of the Lord that shone\nround about me; and I saw such _things as eye hath not seen, beside\nthee, O_ God. In a word, what I saw was (what the angels desire to look\ninto) _the mystery of godliness_, the wonders of God\u2019s law, and the\n_unsearchable riches of his mercy_.\n\n3. This discovery was of longer continuance, and far brighter than any\nI have had since: it shone in its glory for ten days; nor was it quite\ngone for a long time after; and while it lasted, new discoveries were\ndaily made. God carried me from one thing to another, and in this short\nspace taught me more than I had learned by all my study in my whole\nlife. Yea, he taught me the things I had learned before, in another,\nand quite different manner. Every day he instructed me out of the\nscriptures, walking and talking with me by the way, and opening them to\nme, which before was as a sealed book, wherein whatever I read was dark.\nIndeed all this time my mind was almost wholly taken up about spiritual\nthings; and whatever occur\u2019d in reading, meditation, converse, or daily\nobservation, it (like a mold) cast into its own shape. All this while\nI was carried out to extraordinary diligence in duty. It was not as\nformerly, a burthen; but my heart was enlarged, so that I ran in the\nways of God\u2019s ordinances and commandments. And herein my soul often\nmade me like _the chariots of Aminadab_, not easily to be stopped;\nsometimes to the disgust of these who did not taste the same ravishing\nsweetness which I enjoyed. But the life of all was, that God, by\nkeeping his glory continually in my eye, kept me humble and self-denied\nall this while: seeing him I loathed myself. Beholding his glory I was\n_in my own eyes as a grashopper, as nothing, less than nothing, and\nvanity. I gloried only in the_ Lord, _rejoiced in_ Christ Jesus, _and\nhad no confidence in the flesh_.\n\n4. God had many gracious designs in this. I was sore broken and wounded,\nand he did this in tenderness; he bound up my wounds, he poured in\noil, he made me a bed in my sickness. He watched me, and kept me from\ndisturbance, till I was somewhat strengthened. I had been plunged\ninto grievous and hard thoughts of him, as if he has forgotten to\nbe gracious. Nor was I easily induced to believe good tidings; yea,\nthough it was told me, I could not believe, till I had a clear sight\nof the waggons and provisions, and then my spirit revived. God in deep\ncondescension, satisfied me that he was real, and had no pleasure in my\ndeath; and that the wound was not incurable, that it was not the wound\nof an enemy, or the stroke of a cruel one, but the wound of a friend in\norder to healing. He was now to make me sell all for that goodly pearl;\nand that I might be satisfied with my purchase, he let me see both\nwhat I was to leave, and what I was to obtain. Again, he knew what a\nwilderness I was to go through, and therefore fed me before I entered\ninto it. Lastly, He designed to give me something which might be a stay\nin all succeeding trials. And often since, when my soul has been in\nheaviness, have I been cheared by the remembrance of it.\n\n5. But, alas! I understood not this: I fancied this world would last\nalways; I talked of building tabernacles here, and knew not I was to\ncome down from the mount, and that my Lord would depart from me again.\nI dreamed not of learning, or having occasion for war any more; I\nexpected no more to fight with my corruptions, but thought the enemies,\nwhich appeared not were dead, and that the \u201c_Egyptians_ were all\ndrowned in the sea.\u201d Accordingly I projected to tie myself up to such\na bent, and to stint myself to such a method of living, as neither our\ncircumstances and temptations, nor our duty in this world allows of.\nI could not endure to read those books which were really necessary to\nbe read, and all the time I spent in them seemed lost. Yea, I began to\ngrudge the time which my body absolutely required for sleep or other\nrefreshments. Thus the devil secretly drove from one extreme to the\nother, knowing well, that I should not rest here, and that he could\neasily throw me back from this into the first, of assuming too great\na latitude. I began likewise to reckon this enlargement of heart as my\ndue, and as more mine own than it really was. And I looked on the stock\nI already had as sufficient to carry me through all my difficulties;\nand saw not, that the grace, which was sufficient for me, was yet in\nthe Lord\u2019s hand.\n\n6. But now God began to undeceive me; he gave me a thorn in the flesh\nto humble me, and a messenger of Satan was sent to buffet me, who soon\nmade me feel the fury of his temptations. Hereupon I fell into deep\nperplexity; I began to question the truth of former manifestations, to\ndoubt of my own perseverance; yea, sometimes to quarrel secretly with\nGod, as if he had beguiled me. I tried many ways, to escape; I thought\nupon God; I complained to him; I sought for the causes of my affliction;\n_I essay\u2019d to shake myself, and to go forth_ to duty _as before_; but\nalas! the Lord was departed from me; and the enemy, _which lay in my\nbosom_, had _discovered my secret, and shorn me of my strength_.\n\n7. Yet I could not but see, when I recovered myself a little, after\nthe violence of my conflict, that things were better with me now at\nmy worst case, than formerly at my best. God frequently shewed me\nsomething of his power and glory; he open\u2019d a scripture, and made my\nheart burn within me, or unfolded my case, and told me all that was in\nmy heart; or let me see my desire upon my enemies. Sometimes he gave\nme access unto him, and made me come even to his seat, and pour out\nmy heart before him. And when at the lowest, I was otherwise affected\nto Christ than before; my soul still longed after him; I essay\u2019d to\nstretch out the withered hand, and wished for the command that would\nimpower me to lay hold of him. I refused to go any where else, but\nresolved to wait on him, and to trust in him, even though he should\nslay me. And as to his law, though I could not run in it, my will was\nstill toward it; I had no quarrel to it, but to myself; I breathed\nafter conformity with it; I delighted therein after the inward man.\nAnd as to sin, though I was sometimes driven to it, this was just such\na forced consent as before I gave to the law. Though it prevailed, my\nheart was not with it as before; I found another sort of opposition\nto it; and if ever it gained a victory, I was the more enraged against\nit. Lastly, This coldness was now a preternatural state: I cried daily,\n_When wilt thou receive me_? I loathed myself for it; I could not rest\nin it; I wearied myself with essaying to break my prison: I looked back\nto former seasons, and said, _O that it were with me as in months past_!\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _Of his fresh strugglings with sin; its victories; and the\n cause of them, and God\u2019s goodness with respect to this trial._\n\n\n1. FINDING my enemies had gained great advantage over me, by the\nsecurity into which I was fallen, though I was unwilling to fight, yet\nupon their appearance I tried what weapons would be most successful. I\nobjected to them, that now I was engaged to the Lord; I reasoned with\nthem: I prayed against them. Nor could I then see, whence it was that\nthey prevailed: but God hath since shewn me several reasons of it. I\nlaid too much stress on the grace I had already received; I was not\nsufficiently watchful: the enemy put me on vain work; where the sin\nlay not in the thing itself, but in the degree of it, there he set me\nupon renouncing it in the gross, and rooting out what was in itself\nlawful. Of this I had many instances with respect to my passions, and\nworldly employments, and converse with sinful people. I still neglected\nsome means of God\u2019s appointment, under pretence of difficulties and\ninconveniences, and so prevented his blessing upon the rest. I was\nsometimes not single in my aims: I wanted a victory which would ease\nme of the trouble of watchfulness, I was weary of a fighting life, and\ndesired to conquer, that I might be at rest. Lastly, when I was not\nquickly heard, I did not persevere in prayer, for _grace to help in\ntime of need_.\n\n2. Yet was God even then exceeding merciful to me: he kept me from\ngiving quite over: when I had many times gone furthest into temptations,\nyet he came in with seasonable help; and frequently, when I was hard\nprest, he so cleared up to me my own sincerity, as emboldened me to\nappeal to him, which left me at liberty, under this new encouragement,\nvigorously to oppose all my enemies.\n\n3. And God has since let me see, what gracious designs he carried on by\nthese trials. Hereby he taught me, that all Christians must be soldiers;\nthat our security as to future temptations does not lie in grace\nalready received, but in having our way open to the throne of grace;\nthat God deals it out in the proper seasons, whereof he alone is able\nto judge;\u00b9 that the covenant of grace doth not promise entire freedom\nfrom sins of infirmity, nor even from wilful sins, otherwise than in\nthe constant, as well as careful use, of all the means which he hath\nappointed. Hereby too he let me see, how displeased he was for my\ncleaving to sin so long. The sins that now frequently cast me down were\nthose I sought to spare before. God cried often to me, to part with\nthem, and I would not hear; and now God would not hear when I cried\nagainst them. Hereby also he discovered the riches of that forgiveness\nthat is with him, that it reaches sins of all sorts, multiplied\nrelapses not excepted. He that requires us to forgive seventy times\nseven, will not do less himself. And finally, he fitted me hereby to\ncompassionate, and to comfort others also who were tempted.\n\n \u00b9 See the preface.\n\n4. During all this time, besides sins of infirmity, my corruptions\ndid sometimes bear me down to relapses, both into omissions of duties,\nand commission of known sins. And these being sins against light,\nlove, and all sorts of engagements, lay heavy upon my conscience. I\nwas much perplexed about them, my bones were broken, my spirit wounded\nexceedingly.\n\n5. At some times, indeed, I was for a while _hardened by the\ndeceitfulness of sin_, and senseless; at other times my heart\ninstantly smote me, and I was immediately after my fall stirred up\nto the exercise of repentance. But sooner or later God set my sins in\norder before me, either by some outward or inward affliction (often so\nremarkably chosen, that the sin was wrote upon the punishment) or by\nhis word, or his holy Spirit in his ordinances, which told me all that\nI had done.\n\n6. Then was my soul troubled with fear and shame, and a sense of his\nanger, by which Satan often sought to drive me to despair. But God\ngraciously brake the force of this temptation, sometimes by distant\ndiscoveries of forgiveness; sometimes by reminding me of his former\nkindness, or shewing me the fatal issue of casting away my confidence.\n*And when the temptation was most violently urged, I thought it no time\nto dispute, but allowed the worst the tempter could suggest, and then\nlaid my case, in all its aggravations, to the extensive promises of\nthe covenant. \u201cBe it granted, said I, that I am but an hypocrite: that\nI never obtained pardon: that I am the chief of sinners; that my sins\nhave such aggravations as the sins of no other man ever had;\u201d yet _the\nblood of_ Christ _cleanseth from all sin_, and he came to save the\nchief of sinners.\n\n*7. When I had got thus far, I got up again as I could, and sought him\nin all the duties of his appointment. Nor was it long (if I humbly and\npatiently continued in this way) before I found him, as at the first.\nHe set my sin, in all its aggravations, before me; he led me up to\noriginal sin, the source of all: he cut off all excuses, and left me\nself-convicted, owning that any punishment on this side hell would\nbe mercy. Then he stepped in, and made a gracious discovery of _the\nfountain opened for sin, and for uncleanness_. He drew my soul to close\nwith, and with trembling to lay stress upon it. Having by this look\ndrawn my eyes to look at him again, while I looked, my soul melted\ninto tears; my heart, before bound up, was loosed; and my lips, before\nclosed, were opened. While he thus answered me, and I could scarce\nbelieve the news, _he created peace by the fruit of his lips_, and as\nit were forced it upon my soul, and _shed abroad his love in my heart_.\n\n8. Before I conclude this head, I must observe, 1.\u00a0That sometimes this\nwork was wrought gradually; sometimes all at once, and in a moment.\n2.\u00a0Sometimes I sought peace long before I obtained it; sometimes God\nsurprized me immediately upon my sin, before I had thought in the least\nwhat I had done, and gave me such a look as made me weep bitterly.\nAnd when it was thus, it pierced through my soul, filling me with the\ndeepest loathing of my \u2666sin, and the highest wonder at the riches,\nfreedom, and astonishing sovereignty of his grace.\n\n \u2666 \u201csoul\u201d replaced with \u201csin\u201d per Errata\n\n9. There was a great difference as to the continuance of these\nimpressions, and likewise as to the degrees of them. At some times,\nmy convictions and humiliations were deeper, and my faith and hope far\nclearer than at others. But amidst all these accidental differences,\nthe substance of the work was always the same. I would observe, lastly,\nThat the most terrible enemies are not the most dangerous. While I\nwas attacked by plain sins, I was easily convinced and alarmed at\nthem, which was attended with all these happy effects; whereas I have\nbeen since assaulted by less discernible evils, sins under the mask\nof duties; and these secretly devour the strength, and are \u2666with\ndifficulty discovered in their exceeding sinfulness.\n\n \u2666 inserted word \u201cwith\u201d per Errata\n\n*I must not pass over without notice, that when I first felt\nforgiveness of sins, I was much exercised with, and troubled for, sins\nof infirmity and daily incursion: of this I shall give a more distinct\naccount. 1.\u00a0When God manifested himself, his enemies fled before him:\nthey received a stunning stroke, and vanished away at the brightness\nof his appearing. He, for a time bore down corruption, chained up\nSatan, and kept me from any, the least disturbance from them. 2.\u00a0It\nwas some time before my stronger enemies appeared again; presumptuous\nsins did not soon approach me; I first found the remaining power of\nsin only by the invasion of sins of daily infirmity, particularly\ndeadness in prayer. 3.\u00a0Hereupon I began to be much discouraged,\nneither understanding my present state, nor the provision made for the\ncase in the covenant of grace, by a daily application of the blood of\n\u2666atonement. 4.\u00a0When my fond expectation was disappointed, I at first\nessayed to humble myself distinctly for each of these transgressions.\nBut finding my whole time would not suffice for this, I was obliged to\ngo with them all at once, and plunge into the fountain opened for sin,\nand for uncleanness. I took a view of myself defiled by innumerable\nevils, and under a sense of them cast myself on the glorious atonement,\nand relied for the cleansing me from them all on that blood which\ncleanseth from all sin. 5.\u00a0To clear this matter yet further, I observe,\nthat the light which first discovered this plenteous redemption, tho\u2019\nvariously clouded, yet was never quite lost. A child of light is never\nin utter darkness. He has, indeed, a summer\u2019s sun, that shines longer,\nbrighter, and warmer; and his winter\u2019s sun, which shines more faintly.\nHe has fair and rainy days; he has a changeable intercourse of day and\nnight: but light more or less, there is always.\n\n \u2666 \u201cattonement\u201d replaced with \u201catonement\u201d\n\n10. Upon the whole, we may remark, 1. That we may heal our wounds\nslightly; but it is God\u2019s prerogative to speak solid peace. 2.\u00a0That\nconsidering our unbelief, and pride of heart, it is not easy to win a\nsinner to believe, that the forgiveness, which is with God, is able to\nanswer all necessities. And when the soul is in some measure satisfied\nwith this and willing to come to God daily for grace and mercy, it is\nnot easy to keep up either a due abhorrence of sin, or a due sense of\nthat boundless mercy. *Yea, here lies one of the greatest secrets of\npractical godliness, and the highest attainment in close walking with\nGod, to come daily and wash, and yet retain as high a value for this\ndiscovery of forgiveness, as if it were only to be had once, and no\nmore. The more we see of it, the more, doubtless, we ought to value\nit; whereas on the contrary, unless the utmost care be used, our hearts\nturn formal, and count it a common thing. I observe, \u26663.\u00a0That the joy\nof the Lord is then only to be retained, when we walk tenderly and\ncircumspectly: being inconsistent not only with any gross sin, but with\nany remissness of behaviour. And, lastly, That when I was at the lowest\nebb, I have often recovered myself by thankfulness. If you ask, What\nI had then to be thankful for? I answer, I began thus: \u201cWhat a mercy\nis it I am out of hell! Blessed be the Lord for this.\u201d Again: \u201cWhat\na mercy is it, that he hath given me to see, and thank him for that\nmercy! Blessed be the Lord for this likewise.\u201d And thus I have gone on,\ntill he hath led me to a sense of his love, and restored comfort to my\nsoul.\n\n \u2666 \u201c5.\u201d replaced with \u201c3.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n \u2666CHAPTER III.\n\n \u2666 \u201cPART\u201d replaced with \u201cCHAPTER\u201d\n\n _A more particular account of his preceding doubts, concerning\n the being of God, and deliverance from them._\n\n\n1. I BEFORE mentioned the trials I had about the being of a God, almost\nas soon as I had any concern about religion. But at first I had no\narguments, urged against it: only seeing this was the hinge on which\nall religion turned, I found myself at a loss for evidence so clear and\nstrong, and convincing, as I thought necessary, with respect to a truth,\nwhereon so much weight was to be laid. I said, \u201cVery great things are\ndemanded of me, and I am called to hope for great things; but, before,\nI trust so far, I would know more of that God, in whom I am to trust.\u201d\n\n2. But afterwards, when I was more estrang\u2019d from God, and intent upon\nabstract subtleties, the devil took his opportunity, and said daily,\n\u201cWhere is now thy God?\u201d He then triumph\u2019d, \u201cWhere is now that mouth,\nwith which thou hast so often reproached Atheists?\u201d These are the\narguments they have; come forth then, try thy strength, and fight them.\n\n3. Hereupon a sharp conflict began, in which I used various ways.\nSometimes I rejected his suggestions, and refused them a hearing.\nSometimes I tried to answer his arguments; but the longer I stood\narguing the case, I was always at the greater loss. Then I would wish\nfor a discovery of God himself; _O that I knew where I might find him_!\nWhence the enemy failed not to infer, \u201cIf there was a God he would help\none, who was thus standing up for him, in such a strait.\u201d Sometimes I\nprayed, and though Satan urged me with the unreasonableness of praying\ntill I was sure there was a God; yet I always thought, \u201cIf there be one,\nhe can best satisfy me as to his own being.\u201d\n\n4. And he did satisfy me in part. 1.\u00a0By clear discoveries of the\ntendency of these temptations, _viz._ To cast reproach on all the\nbest and wisest of men, and to destroy the foundations of all human\nhappiness. 2.\u00a0By some glimpses of his glory, even in the works of\ncreation. 3.\u00a0By some beams of light from his word; and more than once,\nin particular, by suggesting to my mind, with power, that answer of\nthe three children, _O |Nebuchadnezzar|, we are not careful to answer\nthee in this matter. If it be so, our |God|, whom we serve, is able to\ndeliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out\nof thine hand. But if not, be it known unto thee, O King, that we will\nnot serve thy God, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up._\n\n5. But yet I was not fully relieved; nothing but a discovery of God\ncould give a full defeat to Satan. But considering I was then an\nunhumbled enemy, God could not have appeared otherwise than as an\nenemy; and this my nature could not bear, I could not have thus seen\nhis face and lived. Wherefore he led me another way; he discovered sin\nto me first, and thereby broke the force of the temptation; and having\nhumbled me, he then discovered himself in his glory in Christ Jesus.\n\n*6. This it was which gave me full satisfaction, while God commanded\nthis light to shine on my mind, I could not desire a clearer proof\nof his being; all his enemies fled before it: all the mountains of\nopposition shook at the presence of the Lord, and were carried into the\nmidst of the sea. I had now manifold evidences of this glorious truth.\nI had, 1.\u00a0The evidence of sight: by the eye of faith I saw the glory\nof God as represented in the word, shining with the clearest lustre:\nit not only convinced me of its own reality, but that, in a manner,\nnothing else was real. This sight gave me more consistent, becoming\nnotions of God, his nature and attributes, than ever I attained before,\nand so shook the very foundations of those doubts which flowed purely\nfrom my ignorance of his nature. 2.\u00a0I had the evidence of the ear; I\nheard him speak, and his voice sufficiently distinguished itself from\nthe voice of any creature. He first spoke terror to me from _Sinai_;\nand when my soul was as the troubled sea, he said unto it, \u201cPeace,\nbe still, and there was a great calm.\u201d His words had light and power\npeculiar to God with them, both when he spoke for me and against me:\nthey made me taste and see that the Lord is good, and that _blessed\nis he that trusteth in him_. All my objections were solv\u2019d. As to\nthe seeming inconsistency of his attributes, at the time that he\ncondescended to shew me his back-parts, he satisfied me, _that no man\ncan behold his face_. He gave me a view of his incomprehensibility,\nwhich silenced all those suggestions. And as to the seeming disorders\nin his government, a plain answer was, _He giveth account to none; his\nway is in the sea; his paths in the great waters, and his footsteps are\nnot known_.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER \u2666IV.\n\n \u2666 \u201cII\u201d replaced with \u201cIV\u201d\n\n _A more \u2666particular account of his preceding doubts concerning\n the holy scriptures, and deliverance from them._\n\n \u2666 \u201cparticlar\u201d replaced with \u201cparticular\u201d\n\n\n1. THIS temptation, as observed before, did not attack me so soon as\nthe former; but it was managed in much the same way. Sometimes my mind\nonly hung in suspence, for want of a sufficient evidence. Sometimes I\nwas strangely harrassed with multiplied objections, either by the books\nI read, the enemies of the word, with whom I conversed, or by Satan,\nwhose suggestions were far the most subtle, and most perplexing of all.\n\n2. This trial was more grievous than even the former. These objections\nwere equally destructive of all religion, and were far more numerous,\nmore plausible, and entertained by persons of a fairer character.\nBesides, the evidence of this truth lay farther from the reach of an\nunenlightened mind.\n\n3. I tried many ways to escape; besides prayer, and attending public\nordinances, I read many books writ in defence of the scriptures. And\nthis wanted not its use; I got a rational conviction of the truth,\nand so was emboldened to plead for it against his enemies; and I found\nanswers to many particular objections, which encouraged me to wait for\nfull satisfaction. But that I found not yet: this being but the wisdom\nof men, had not power to silence temptations, to enlighten me to see\nthe evidence of God in his word, or to give a relish for it to an\nindisposed soul.\n\n4. God began to break the force of this temptation, when his word\nfastened a sense of guilt on my soul: though this rather extorted an\nassent than induced to a chearful acquiescing therein, as coming from\nGod. But when he gave me that light which repelled all temptations,\nwhich revived and comforted a soul bowed down before, I instantly\nclosed with his word as the word of life; I rejoiced as one that had\nfound a hid treasure; I was sweetly satisfied, that it came from him;\nand that by many evidences: for,\n\n_First_, All discoveries of guilt were made by it. God by this spoke\nin my ear, sins which none save he who searcheth the heart, could know,\nwhich I knew not, nor any creature else. By it the secrets of my heart\nwere manifest, so that I was compelled to own, that God was in it of\na truth; I could not but cry out, \u201cCome, see a book which told me all\nthat ever I did. Is not this the book of God?\u201d\n\n_Secondly_, All the discoveries he made of his anger were made by the\nholy scriptures; it was by them that his wrath was dropt into my soul,\nand revealed from heaven against me. It was by the same that he let\nin upon my soul the glorious discovery of his being, attributes, and\nhis whole will concerning my salvation by Jesus Christ. By the same he\nconveyed all those quickening, converting, transforming, supporting,\ncomposing influences, and let me see the other _wonders of his law;\nexcellent things in counsel and knowledge_. By this he was pleased to\nreveal the craft, the power, the actings, and the designs of my enemies;\nhis own designs in my trials, and something of his secret designs in\nmany of his public administrations.\n\n*_Thirdly_, As all these influences and discoveries were conveyed by\nhis word, so by the peculiar light and power that attended them, he\nevidenced that his name was there. It taught, not as the greatest, the\nwisest, the best of men; but with another sort of authority and weight;\nit spake as never man spake. Whatever it said, my conscience stood to.\nWhen it challenged me for what I knew not to be faults, no defences\navailed; I was scarce sooner accused than arraigned, convicted,\ncondemned. In like manner when God hereby spoke peace, he created it.\nThe dead heard, and the hearer lived. Temptations after it spoke not\nagain. When I was self-destroyed, self-condemned, and cast hereby into\nthe greatest agony; yet whenever he sent his word, it healed me; my\nsoul was commanded to be at peace, and there ensued a glorious calm.\n\n5. And \u2666whereas my enemies had often asked me, how I could distinguish\nthe real among so many pretended revelations? God himself now gave me\na reply: _The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he\nthat hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff\nto the wheat, saith the Lord? Is not my word like as a fire? And like\na hammer, that breaketh the rock in pieces?_ Jeremiah xxiii. 28,\u00a029.\nAnd he was pleased particularly to speak those things, whereat I had\nstumbled, to my soul, which both humbled me for my former unbelief,\nand encouraged me to hope, that I should know other things hereafter\nwhich I understood not now. Again he satisfied me as to many things,\nthat the time of knowing them was not yet; and that when he saw the\nproper season to be come, he would shew me plainly of them. He let me\nsee his wisdom and goodness in thus training me up to dependance, for\nlearning of him what I knew not; and shewed me that it was my duty to\nmeditate in his law day and night, and to search the scriptures with\nall humility; since _the secret of the Lord is only with those that\nfear him, and he will shew none but them his covenant_.\n\n \u2666 \u201cwheareas\u201d replaced with \u201cwhereas\u201d\n\n6. When after this I read the scriptures, and found not that powerful\nlight shining with that warming, quickning, dazzling glory, yet I\nfound an habitual light in my soul, whereby I could almost every where\ndiscern part of the glory of the Lord; and by this I was over-awed,\nand brought still to regard them as the word of God. A light was still\nreflected on the whole scripture; and I was ordinarily enabled to\nperceive, how worthy of him, and like himself, every thing was which\nI read there, and by this abiding light I was capable of discerning\ntherein discoveries of the actings of sin and grace, with a penetration\nand exactness beyond the reach of any, save, the omniscient and only\nwise God.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _Of some other temptations, and his deliverance from them._\n\n\n1. I BEFORE shewed that when I was in doubt about the holy scriptures,\nthe devil often suggested to me, \u201chow can you expect satisfaction in\nthese things, when men of so much greater abilities have sought it in\nvain?\u201d And this suggestion was often so violently urged, that I had no\nspirit left in me.\n\n2. But when God discovered himself to me in his own light, the force of\nthis temptation was utterly broken; though I had not a particular sight\nof the weakness of it till I read (some time after) the three first\nchapters of the first epistle to the _Corinthians_: the substance of\nwhat God then shewed me was,\n\n_First_, That his great design in the method of salvation he had chosen,\nwas to stain the pride of all human glory, _that no flesh might glory\nin his sight, but he that glorieth might glory in the_ Lord. _Secondly_,\nThat a vain ambition to be wise above what God allowed, was the spring\nand chief part of our apostacy from God; and still _vain man would be\nwise; the Jews ask a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom_. _Thirdly_,\nThat in order to the attainment of the foregoing design, and to the\nrecovery of man from his apostacy it was plainly necessary, that\nhis ambition, being a flat opposition to his design, and a principal\npart of his corruption, should be removed. It was requisite, That\nGod should _destroy the wisdom of the wise, and bring to nought the\nunderstanding of the prudent_. _Fourthly_, God to vindicate his own\nwisdom, reproached by this vain ambition of man, to fix an eternal\nblot on human wisdom, and to discover his holy severity in punishing\nthis ambition, with the other wickednesses of vain man, suffered, _for\nmany ages, all nations to walk in their own ways_, and to try whether\nthey were better than God\u2019s ways; whether they could supply the\ndefects which they fondly imagined God had made them with, or relieve\nthemselves from the misery of their apostacy, and the event answered\nthe design of his wisdom and justice, and the desert of them who\nmade the attempt. For after the fruitless endeavours of four thousand\nyears, _The world by wisdom knew not God_. They missed the mark, _their\nfoolish hearts were darkened; seeking to be wise, they became fools_;\ninstead of getting their eyes opened to see more than God allowed,\nthey could see nothing but their own nakedness; and so imperfect were\ntheir discoveries even of that, they imagined fig-leaves would cover\nit. _Fifthly_, after they had spent the time allotted for shewing the\nvanity of their own wisdom; God, in the depth of his compassion stepped\nin to their relief; and in order thereto, was pleased to pitch upon\na way quite opposite to all wisdom of foolish man. He chose not _the\nenticing words of man\u2019s wisdom_, or eloquence; it was not suitable to\nthe truth of God, to use that mean art, whereby the judgments of men\nare led blindfold in subjection to their passions. He made no choice of\nartificial reasonings, the other eye of human wisdom. It did not become\nthe majesty of God to dispute men into a compliance with his will. And\nalthough he wrought signs to awaken the attention of a drowsy world,\nto gain respect to his ambassadors, to strengthen the faith of weak\nbelievers, and to cut off every plea from unbelief: yet he chose not\nthem chiefly to convert and recover the world, being unwilling so to\nderrogate from his word, as if the word of God were not, upon its own\nevidence, worthy the acceptation of all rational creatures. _Sixthly_,\nGod having rejected all these, made use of the _foolishness of\npreaching_: that is, a plain declaration of his will in his name, _in\nthe demonstration of the spirit and power_, by men commissioned by him\nfor that purpose. Now this was a means every way worthy of God. Man had\nbelieved the devil rather than God; the devil seemed to have gained a\ngreat advantage, by persuading man in his integrity to credit him and\ndiscredit God. God now cast back the shame on him, by engaging fallen\nman to renounce the devil, and give up Satan and all that adher\u2019d\nto him. And further to manifest his design, as he made use of the\nfoolishness of preaching, so he chose for his ambassadors, not the\nlearned disputers of the world, but foolish, weak, illiterate men,\nthat by things which in appearance _are not, he might bring to nought\nthose that are_. _Lastly_, To lay man lower yet, that _the Lord alone\nmight be exalted_, he chose not for his people such as the world would\nhave thought stood fairest for mercy; but he chose, for the general,\nthe most miserable and contemptible of mankind; _Not many wise, not\nmany noble, not many mighty are called; but God hath chosen the foolish\nthings of this world to confound the wise_.\n\n*3. Hence God shewed me, that it was to be expected, and was indeed\ninevitable, that a great opposition, should be every where made to\nhis gospel; that this opposition would principally be by pretenders\nto wisdom, and learned men; that their objections must be against\nall the concernments of the gospel, the matter, manner, means of it;\nall being opposite to their expectation, and that therefore it was\nno wonder to see some stumble at the cross, some at the preaching,\nsome at the preachers; that it was to be expected their objections\nwould be specious, as being suited to the wisdom of men, the natural\napprehension of all who were not brought to a compliance with the grand\ndesign of God. _Lastly_, That it was impossible for any man, who was\nnot brought to be a fool in his own eyes, to be wise in the things\nof God, or to discern and approve of the conduct of God in this whole\nmatter.\n\n4. Upon this discovery I was fully satisfied, that the opposition of\nlearned men, and their unsuccessfulness in their enquiries, was so far\nfrom being a just prejudice to, that it was a strong confirmation of\nthe truths of religion; and on the other hand, that though they were,\nin the wisdom of God, hid from the wise and prudent, yet babes might\nhave a clear discovery thereof, because it had pleased the father to\nreveal these things to them.\n\n5. Another common objection, which had made, at some times, a\nconsiderable impression upon my mind, was, that the scriptures are\ncontrary to reason. I shall just point at the springs of my relief.\n\n_First_, I was long before fixed in a deep, rational conviction of\nthe shortness of human knowledge, and that there was no truth which we\nreceive, whether upon the evidence of metaphysical, mathematical, or\nmoral principles, or even on the evidence of our senses, against which\nthere lay not insoluble objections. Yet no man questioned those truths;\nnor though we endeavoured it ever so much, could we doubt of many\nof them. And as this was one of the most considerable fruits of my\nstudies in philosophy, so it was of use to me many ways; it made me see\nthrough the vanity of that pretence against the truths revealed by God,\nthat there lie unanswerable objections against them. This I plainly\nsaw ought not to shake my assent, if I found sufficient evidence for\nthem; especially as I was convinced, \u2019twas reasonable to expect more\ninextricable difficulties about truths supernaturally revealed than\nothers, since they lie farther out of our reach. Therefore, when any\nsuch occurred, I was led rather to suspect my own ignorance than the\ntruths of God.\n\n*_Secondly_, God had before fixed in me the faith of his\nincomprehensibility, and fully convinced me, that I could not know him\nto perfection. He let me see, that _his ways are not our ways_, so that\nI durst not any more attempt to measure him, or his ways, by my short\nline, but in all things I relied in the resolution of his word. _To\nthe law and to the testimony_ I brought all, and where that clearly\ninterposed, my soul was now taught fully to acquiesce in, and stand to\nits determination.\n\n_Thirdly_, When the enemy strongly attacked any particular truth, and I\ncould not instantly solve his objections, I was much relieved by a view\nof the multiplied testimonies of the word, all running the same way.\nAnd when by consulting interpreters, especially critics, I was darkened\nrather than cleared, I had recourse to the scope of the words, and the\nplain meaning that first occurred, with an humble dependance on God for\nhis light.\n\n*_Fourthly_, If for a time, by the subtle perversion of some scriptures,\nI could not find the true meaning of them, the analogy of faith staid\nmy mind, till I could recover those particular passages out of the\nenemy\u2019s hand. When God manifested himself to me, he gave me a view of\nhis whole design in the revelation he had made of himself, and of the\nharmonious consent and concurrence of all the doctrines of the gospel,\nin promoting that design. He shewed me likewise, how the end and the\nmeans were so closely linked together, that one of these truths could\nnot be overturned, but all the rest would follow. Whenever therefore\nany of them was controverted, its connexion with the other truths,\nuniformly and plainly attested by the current of scripture, presented\nitself; and my mind was satisfied, this could not fall without they\nall fell together. This I take to be the analogy of faith, and herein\nI often took sanctuary.\n\n6. I before mentioned what a continual bondage I was long in, through\nfear of death; I shall now give some account of my relief from this\nalso.\n\n_First_, The Lord\u2019s mercy manifested in Christ freed me from this\nspirit of bondage, and gave me a taste of the liberty of the sons of\nGod. He in great measure removed the grounds whereon I most feared it,\n_viz._ Sin the sting of death, and want of evidence about the reality\nof future things.\n\n_Secondly_, Whereas there still continued some fear upon a near\nprospect of it, I was much relieved by God\u2019s promise, that we should\n_not be tempted above what we are able to bear_, especially when I\nrecollected my former experience. I remember one day in particular,\nI was opprest with fear of death, when God mercifully suggested to me,\n\u201cHast thou not shrunk under the remote prospect of other trials, and\nyet been carried through them? Why shouldst thou distrust him as to\nfuture trials, who hath so often helped thee in time of need?\u201d I then\nconsidered, it is no way proper that God should give his grace before\nour trial comes: but rather that he should keep us humble and dependent\nby reserving it in his own hand, and teach us to submit to his wisdom,\nas to the measure and time of performing his own promises. And I have\never since rested in this faith, that _the Lord is a God of judgment,\nand that blessed are all they who wait on him_; not doubting either\nhis faithfulness as to the accomplishment of his promises, or judgment\nas to the right timing and measuring them, in proportion to our\nnecessities. Hereupon I rest to this day; I dare not say I am ready\nto die; I dare not say I have faith or grace sufficient to carry me\nthrough death; I dare not say I have no fear of death: but this I say,\nthere is sufficient grace laid up for me in the promise; there is a\nthrone of grace to have recourse to; and there is a God of judgment,\nwho will not with-hold it, when it is really the time of need.\n\n\n\n\n PART IV.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of his entrance upon the ministry, and behaviour at |Ceres|._\n\n\n1. WHEN I was under the violent strugglings before-mentioned, I had\nlaid aside all thoughts of the ministry; for I could not entertain a\nthought of preaching to others what I did not believe myself. But now\nthe scene being changed, I was, after long deliberation and fervent\nprayer, determined to comply with my mother\u2019s desire (who had devoted\nme from my childhood to this work) with the advice of my most pious\nfriends, the importunity of many others, and the motions of my own\nheart. For I had a lively sense of the strong obligation laid upon me,\nto lay out myself in the service of my good master, and I thought the\nnearer my employment related to him, the happier it would be.\n\n2. Accordingly on _May 1, 1700_, I entered into holy orders, and\n_May\u00a05_, began my ministry at _Ceres_. From this time he prepared\nhis \u2666sermons with much secret prayer, for a blessing thereon, both to\nhimself and his hearers. His practice also was, exactly to review and\nremark his behaviour in public duties; what assistance and enlargement\nof heart he obtained, and what concern for the souls of his hearers.\nWhen he fell short, it was matter of humiliation to him; when he was\nassisted, of greater gratitude and watchfulness.\n\n \u2666 \u201cser-sermons\u201d replaced with \u201csermons\u201d\n\n3. Knowing he was to watch over souls, as one that must give account,\nhe had the weight of this charge much upon his spirit: he therefore\nlaboured to know the state of the souls of his flock, that he might\nbe able to guide them according to their particular cases. In order\nthereto he was diligent in visiting all the families within his\nparish, in instructing his people by catechizing, and in marking\ntheir proficiency in the knowledge of the gospel. Especially, before\nadministring the Lord\u2019s supper, he conversed severally with those who\ndesired to partake thereof, to try what sense they had of real religion;\nwhat influence the word of God had had upon them: and what fruits\nof it were in their hearts and lives, that he might deal with their\nconsciences accordingly.\n\n4. Take an instance of this in his own words: _July\u00a08, 1703_. \u201cI have\nnow spent about a month in converse with my people, and I observe the\nfew following things:\u201d\n\n*_First_, \u201cThat of three or four hundred persons there were not above\nforty who had not at one time or other been more or less awakened,\nthough with far the greater part it came to no length. Whence it is\nplain, that God leaves not himself without witness, even in the bosom\nof his enemies, but sooner or later so far touches the hearts of all\nmen, as will dreadfully enhance the guilt of those, who put out the\nlight, and quench his Spirit.\u201d\n\n*_Secondly_, \u201cThat some of those whom it has pleased God to awaken\nby my ministry, promise more than flowers, even fruit: and that most\nacknowledge, that the word comes nearer them daily, which makes me\nashamed of my own negligence, and astonished at the goodness of God,\nwho blesses my weak labours notwithstanding.\u201d\n\n_Thirdly_, \u201cThat though God may make use of the words of man, in\nletting us into the meaning of the scriptures, yet \u2019tis ordinarily the\nvery scripture-word whereby he conveys any comfort or advantage.\u201d\n\n5. Hearing about this time of some who \u2666were much swayed by good people,\nin dark steps of their ministerial work, I was satisfied in the evident\nclearness of the following rules:\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cwere\u201d removed\n\n*_First_, That it is very dangerous to lay much stress on the\napprehensions of the best of people, as to what may be sin or duty in\nthings that belong not to their station; for the promise of the Spirits,\nteachings belongs not to them, as to what may concern a minister\u2019s\nstation. Therefore, it is safer to desire their prayers, that God would,\naccording to his promise, discover to us what is our duty, than to\nlearn them to step out of their stations, and advise in things that\nbelong not to them.\n\n*_Secondly_, In consulting others for light, great regard should be\nhad to the different talents of men; in matters of soul-exercise, most\nregard should be had to those whom God has fitted with endowments that\nway; in matters of government most regard should be had to those whom\nhe has fitted that way.\n\n_Thirdly_, The holiest men are most likely to know God\u2019s mind; but\nto know who are the holiest, we must consider, not only what men\u2019s\nbehaviour, but what their temptations are. For one in whom less appears\nmay indeed have more grace, than another who seems to have more; when\nthe one is continually plunged in floods of temptation, and the other\nis free from them.\n\n*Observe, _Fourthly_, That ministers are commonly more shaken about\nthe truths of religion, than about their own state: but the people,\nmore about their own state, than about the truths of religion. And\nas ministers are assisted to clear the people as to what they are\nstraitened about; so are the people often enabled to help their\nministers, as to what occasions their uneasiness. Thus they mutually\nexcel and are excelled, to humble both, and keep both in their stations.\n\nAs to the clearing up our duty in doubtful cases, observe, _Lastly_,\nThat there is ever a bias to one way or the other; that we must seek\nto have this removed, and cry to God to bring our hearts to equal\nwillingness to take either or neither way; that when this is attained,\nwe must use our best reason, and take the way that appears most proper,\nthough still crying to him, that he would put a stop to us, if we\nbe out of the road. If he afforded light in any other particular way\nwe must use it, still taking care, to seek light soberly, to use it\ntenderly, and to be wary in the application of it.\n\n6. _July 2, 1702._ God about this time giving me somewhat of a revival\nfrom a long deadness, I think myself concerned to take notice of\nthe means by which I obtained this benefit. And, 1.\u00a0It was signally\npromoted by converse with zealous Christians. I found, that _as iron\nsharpeneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend_. 2.\u00a0By\nsome heavy strokes laid upon me. 3.\u00a0By terrible providences to the\npublic. 4.\u00a0By some papers seasonably brought to my hands, containing\nthe exercise of some real Christians, wherein I saw how far short I\nwas of them, and also not a few of the causes of my sadly withered\nand decayed state. 5.\u00a0By some discovery of the vanity \u2666of my sweetest\nenjoyments. And, Lastly, By God\u2019s leading me to some subjects, which I\nchose for others, wherein I found my own case remarkably touched.\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cof\u201d removed\n\n7. _March 12, 1705._ I was far out of order; \u201cLord pity and shine upon\nme.\u201d At night I was somewhat refreshed in family-worship. In meditation\nhereon I saw unbelief was the root of all my misery. I was broken on\naccount of it; I cried to God for relief, \u201cO manifest thyself to my\nsoul!\u201d I was much grieved, that at a time when so many strange evils\nabound, there should be so strange a stupidity \u2666on my spirit, that I\ncould not mourn for the dishonour done to God. I cried for a spirit of\nsupplication and repentance.\n\n \u2666 \u201cof\u201d replaced with \u201con\u201d per Errata\n\n8. _April 17, 1705._ I was much disordered in body; but about seven at\nnight I was a little relieved. Yet bowing my knees to prayer I was full\nof perplexity; the Lord hid himself, and my spirit was overwhelmed. But\nmeeting with that scripture, _Having therefore, brethren, boldness to\nenter into the holiest by the blood of_ Jesus, _by a new and living way,\nwhich he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his\nflesh_; I found my mind composed; but, O, that it were with me as in\nmonths past!\n\n9. _February 24, 1706._ Being the Lord\u2019s day, I was sore shaken in the\nmorning about the truths of God, but came to peace as to what I was\nto preach, in three things. \u201cLord thou hast fully satisfied me,\u201d that\n1. All other courses to satisfaction in our great concern, besides that\nof the gospel, are utterly vain and unsatisfactory. 2. That supposing\nthe truth of the gospel, there is a plenary security as to all I can\ndesire in time or in eternity. And \u26663.\u00a0That it can be only the wretched\nunbelief of my heart that makes me ever hesitate concerning the truth\nof it, seeing I have full evidence for it, far beyond what in other\nthings would absolutely cut off all hesitation. I will look then for\nfaith to the author of it: Lord I believe! help thou mine unbelief!\nThou hast so fixed me in the belief of these three truths, that no\ntemptation hath been able to shake me.\n\n \u2666 \u201c5\u201d replaced with \u201c3\u201d\n\n10. In the spring, 1707. Some of the followers of Mrs. _Bourignon_\ncoming into his parish, he laboured to guard his people against the\ninfection of their specious errors. A short account whereof he gives\nin the following words:\n\n_April 20, 1707_: This day the Lord directed me to strike at the root\nof the prevailing delusion, in opposition to which I taught.\n\n_First_, That true holiness will not admit \u2666of leaving out some duties,\nwhereas the devotees, while they withdraw from the world, omit the\nunquestionable duties both of general usefulness among men, and of\ndiligence in their particular callings.\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cof\u201d removed\n\n_Secondly_, That holiness consists not in a strict observance of rules\nof our own invention, such as most of theirs are.\n\n_Thirdly_, That whatever holiness those profess, who neglect the\nordinances of God, none can reasonably conclude, that they are\ninfluenced by the authority of the Lord Jesus, for the same authority\nbinds to the one as well as the other.\n\n_Lastly_, That the most effectual inducement to universal obedience, is\na sense that our sins are forgiven us, still kept fresh upon our souls,\nand a constant improvement of the blood of Christ by faith.\n\n11. _January 11, 1708._ In the morning I arose greatly indisposed with\na looseness. Before church I was somewhat relieved, but immediately\nafter sermon, seized with vomiting. Lord, lead me to some suitable\nimprovement!\n\n*_January 12._ Was a day set apart for examining the state of my\nsoul; chiefly on these heads. 1.\u00a0Are daily sins, and sins of infirmity,\nsearched, observed, weighed, mourned for? And do I exercise faith\ndistinctly, in order to the pardon of them? 2.\u00a0Does the impression\nof the necessity and excellency of Christ\u2019s blood decay? Are the\nexperiences of its life and efficacy distinct as before? 3.\u00a0Am I formal\nin worship? In secret, family, public prayer? Desiring blessing on\nmeat, returning thanks? Meditation and reading? 4.\u00a0Is there due concern\nfor the flock? Singleness and diligence in ministerial duties, prayers\nfor them? &c. 5.\u00a0Is there sympathy with afflicted saints and churches?\n6.\u00a0Is the voice of the rod heard, calling to deniedness to relations,\neven the dearest? Deniedness to the world? To life? Preparation for\ndeath? Spirituality in duty?\n\n12. _October 12, 1709._ Being seized with a violent flux and griping,\nyet God kept me submissive, without repining; and brought me to commit\nthe disposal of all to him, crying for a removal of any aversion to\nhis will. And as to my ministry, tho\u2019 I felt much remorse for the want\nof wrestling with God, for the success of his word among the people,\nyet it was refreshing that I durst say in the sight of God, that I was\nreally concerned to know the truth; that I kept back none which might\nbe profitable for them: that I preached what I resolved to venture my\nsoul on, and that I desired to preach home to their consciences.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _Of his marriage, and conduct in his family._\n\n\n1. WHEN God convinced me, that it was not meet I should be alone, he\nalso dearly convinced me, that _a prudent wife is from the Lord_.\u2015\u2015I\nlooked therefore and cried to, and waited on him for direction, with\nthat eminent freedom and preparation of heart, which gave a fixed hope\nhe would incline his ear, and bless me in my choice.\n\n2. The command, _Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers_, was so\nstrongly imprest on my soul, that no prospect of outward advantage\ncould have swayed me to chuse one void of the fear of God. But whether\nto chuse on the testimony of others, or from personal acquaintance, I\ncould not easily determine.\n\n3. At last inclining to think a personal acquaintance necessary, I\npitched on one who appeared suitable to me; and who falling at that\ntime under some unusual concern about religion, which she imparted to\nme, it looked like a providential clearing of the way; on which, I too\nhastily proceeded in the proposal. Yet I never durst pray absolutely\nfor success, but had great freedom in praying that God would direct:\nand that if it were not for my good, my way might be hedged in, and my\ndesign effectually disappointed. Mean while she carried on an intrigue\nwith another, to whom she was soon after clandestinely married.\n\n4. Another marriage was proposed to me some time after. In the\nbeginning of this affair, _March 1700_, I was confident to meet with\na disappointment; whereon I resolved to quit it, and did so for some\ntime. But God, by one means or other, broke all my designs of turning\naway. He visibly interposed his providence, gave fresh opportunities,\ndirected me to means I had never before thought of, and reconciled\nthose to it, from whom I expected the strongest opposition.\n\n5. Yet after I had the greatest encouragement to proceed, I met with\ndiscouragements again: this was follow\u2019d by new encouragement when I\nleast expected it: and by this variety of success, I was kept low as\nto my thoughts of myself, and wholly dependent on God for the event.\n\n6. _December 13._ This forenoon I set apart for prayer: and being to\naddress God with regard to my proposal of marriage, I began the work\nwith an enquiry into my own state. Upon this enquiry, I found,\n\n_First_, With respect to God, I was under a full conviction, _that life\nwas in his favour_, nay, _that his loving-kindness is better than life\nitself_. That any interest in his favour is utterly impossible, without\nrespect had to a mediator: God being holy, I unholy; God a consuming\nfire, I a sinner meet to be consum\u2019d: that God out of mere love has\nbeen pleased to send into the world Jesus Christ, as the mediator\nthrough whom sinners might regain his favour.\n\n_Secondly_, With respect to Christ, nothing has been able (since\nit was first given me) to shake my full conviction of the following\nparticulars: that Jesus Christ is such a Saviour as it became the\ngoodness, justice, wisdom, and power of God to provide; and such as\nbecame the desires and needs of sinners, as being sufficient _to save\nall that come to_ God _through him_, and that _to the uttermost, his\nblood_ being able _to cleanse from all sin_, his power _to subdue all\nthings to himself_, and his Spirit _to lead into all truth_: that I\nneed him in all his offices; there being no time when I durst once\nthink of parting them: God knows that my heart is as much reconciled to\nhis kingly as to his priestly office, and that it would for ever damp\nme, had he not power to captivate _every thought to the obedience_ of\nhimself; that all my hope of freedom from that darkness which is my\nburden, is from Christ\u2019s prophetical office; and my hope of freedom\nfrom the guilt and power of sin, arises from his priestly and kingly\noffices. In one word, I have no hope of any mercy in time or eternity,\nbut through him. \u2019Tis through him I expect all, from the least drop of\nwater to the immense riches of his glory.\n\n_Thirdly_, With respect to this law, notwithstanding my frequent\nbreaches of it, I dare take God to witness, that I count all his\ncommandments concerning all things, to be holy, and just, and good;\ninsomuch that I would not desire any alteration in any, and least of\nall in those which most cross my inclinations: that I desire inward,\nuniversal conformity to them all, and that in the spiritual meaning\nand extent, as reaching all thoughts, words, and actions, and even the\nminutest circumstances of them. _Lastly_, That since the commencement\nof this affair particularly, I have seen a peculiar beauty in the law,\nas exemplified in the life of our Lord; more especially in his absolute\nsubmission to the divine will, even in those things which were most\ncontrary to his innocent nature. And though I could scarce reach this\nsubmission at some times, yet I earnestly desired it, I look\u2019d upon it\nas exceedingly amiable, and condemned myself so far as I came short of\nit.\n\n7. As to the whole, my spirit was in a calm and composed frame: but\ncontrary to my positive resolution, and under fears of a refusal, I was\ncarried out to be more peremptory than usual as to the success. Yea,\nwhen I was in the most submissive frame, I was more peremptory as to\nthe event, than when my heart was most eagerly set upon it.\n\n8. _January 7, 1701_, was a day set apart by us both, to be kept with\nfasting and prayer, for obtaining a blessing on our marriage. I began\nit with prayer, wherein I endeavoured to trace back sin to my very\ninfancy. Lord, I have been in all sin: not one of thy commands but I\nhave broken in almost all instances; save in the outward acts, and from\nthem, O Lord, only thy free grace restrained me.\n\n*I now again solemnly devoted myself to him, in this new relation I\nwas to enter upon; beseeching that he would not contend with either\nof us, for the sins of our single life; that he would make us holy,\nand bless us in this new state, fitting us every way for one another.\nIn my second address to God by prayer, he gave me much sweetness and\nenlargement (blessed be his goodness) in reference to that particular,\nfor which I set apart this day. When _he prepareth our hearts to pray,\nhis ear hearkeneth thereto_.\n\nThis day I again searched into my state, and found these evidences\nof the Lord\u2019s work in my soul: 1.\u00a0He hath given me by his Spirit some\ndiscovery of the innumerable sins of every period of my life, and\nespecially of the root of all, the inexpressible corruption of my\nnature: 2.\u00a0He has discovered to me the vanity of all those reliefs\nnature leads to, with regard to the guilt of sin; he hath made me\nsee, that my own works cannot save me, and, I hope, taken me off from\nresting upon them; for under trouble, occasioned by sin, nothing but\nChrist could quiet me: the view of my own works only increased it. And\nGod, when he assisted me most therein, so guarded me against this, that\nhe then always opened my eyes to see a world of sin in them; insomuch\nthat I have as earnestly desired to be saved from my best duties, as\never I did from my worst sins: and whenever my heart inclined to lay\nsome stress on duties spiritually perform\u2019d, God stirred up in my soul\na holy jealousy over my heart in this particular. 3.\u00a0As to the power\nof sin, he hath brought me to an utter despair of relief from my own\nprayers, vows, or resolutions. 4.\u00a0He hath been pleased to determine\nme to chuse the gospel-way of salvation, by resting on Christ for\nrighteousness, sanctification, and redemption; as a way full of\nadmirable mercy and wisdom; a way of great peace and security to\nsinners, and best suited to give glory to God. Upon these grounds, I\nconclude, that the Lord hath wrought faith in me, and will compleat my\nsalvation. And because he hath determined me to chuse him, therefore I\ndare call him my God, my Saviour, my Sanctifier.\n\nOn _January 23, 1701_, he was accordingly married at _Edinburgh_, to\n_Janet Watson_, daughter of Mr. _David Watson_, of _St. Andrews_. By\nher he had nine children, three sons and six daughters, of whom one son\nand five daughters survived him.\n\n8. In _March, 1705_, his then youngest child fell into a languishing\nillness: concerning whom he writes thus: \u201c_April\u00a011._ My child died:\nblessed be God, I have had a child to give at his call; and blessed be\nthe Lord, that he helped me to give her willingly.\u201d\n\nIn _March 1712_, his son _George_ fell ill: I had often says he, given\nall my children up to God, and now it pleased him to try me in the\ntenderest point, whether I would stand to my resignation. I could not\nfind freedom in a asking for his life, but much, in crying for mercy\nfor him. Yet I cannot say, but the burthen was great upon me, till\ncommuning with a friend about the state of the church and religion,\nconcern for God\u2019s interest got the ascendant over that for my own, and\nfrom that time I found comfort: *and the nearer he was to his end, the\nmore loosed I was from him, and the more chearful was my resignation:\nso that before his death, prayers were almost made up of praises, and\nhe was set off with thanksgiving.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _Of his removal to St. |Andrews|._\n\n\n1. THE place of professor of divinity in the university of St.\n_Andrews_ being vacant, her Majesty\u2019s patent was procured for him:\nupon which he made the following reflection: \u201cThis seems to be of\nthe Lord, for it was without so much as a thought in me; yet were all\nobstructions removed, all attempts for others crossed, and my spirit\nso held that I durst not oppose it, but was obliged to submit to the\ndesires of those who were the most competent judges.\u201d\n\n2. Accordingly, _April 26, 1710_, he was by the principal of the\ncollege admitted into his professorship. But he enjoyed little health\nin that office: for in the beginning of _April, 1711_, he was suddenly\nseized with a violent pleurisy, which obliged his physicians to take\nfrom him a large quantity of blood; and although he was relieved\nfrom the disease, he never recovered his strength, by reason of the\nindisposition of his stomach, and frequent vomitings. Hereupon ensued,\n\u2666in the following winter, a coldness, swelling and stiffness in his\nlegs, with frequent and very painful cramps. But besides his bodily\nillness, the grievances of the church did not a little add to his\ntrouble: especially the imposing the oath of abjuration upon ministers,\nwhich he feared might have fatal effects, from the difference of their\nsentiments, concerning the lawfulness of it. His advice upon it was,\nthat after all due information, every one should act according to\nthe light he had. But what he most of all inculcated was, that their\ndiffering about the meaning of an expression therein, gave no just\nground for any alienation of affection, much less for separation,\neither amongst ministers or people.\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cin\u201d removed\n\n\n The End of the TENTH VOLUME.\n\n\n\n\n ERRATA, Volume X.\n\n\n Page 6, line 1, replace _W_hi_ts_on\n\n Page 18, line 3, replace _excelsaque_\n\n Page 32, line 9, replace _un_necessarily\n\n Page 43, line 15, replace to f_or_give\n\n Page 47, line 9, replace to an_y_\n\n Page 57, line 1, replace _not_ done\n\n Page 59, line 1, replace _of the flesh, the desire_\n\n Page 67, line 21, replace _them_ too\n\n Page 86, line 17, replace medi_t_ations\n\n Page 132, line 28, replace remarkabl_y_\n\n Page 172, line 15, replace built just.\n\n Page 213, line 9, replace at _t_his\n\n Page 219, line 2, replace 1633\n\n Page 224, line 23, replace upon _the_m\n\n Page 232, line _antepenult_, replace help _him_\n\n Page 254, line 5, replace _if_ he\n\n Page 271, line 3, replace w_h_ere\n\n Page 276, line 4, replace thr_ew_\n\n Page 276, line 26, replace given _up_ inward\n\n Page 299, line 24, replace act_ings_\n\n Page 303, line 13, replace ha_d_ done\n\n Page 314, line 4, replace s_i_n\n\n Page 314, line 21, replace are _with_\n\n Page 338, line 11, replace _on_ my","title":"The works of the Rev. John Wesley, Vol. 10 (of 32)","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":86006}