{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_73617/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_73617","id":"gutenberg_73617","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/73617","summary":null,"tags":["Category: Biographies","Category: Religion/Spirituality","Methodist Church","Theology -- Early works to 1800","Theology -- History -- 18th century"],"text":"The Works of the\n Rev. John Wesley, M.A.\n\n\n\n\n \u250c\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2510\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Transcriber\u2019s Notes \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Punctuation has been standardized. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Most of the non-common abbreviations used to save space in \u2502\n \u2502 printing have been expanded to the non-abbreviated form for \u2502\n \u2502 easier reading. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 The author has used an asterisk (*) to indicate passages he \u2502\n \u2502 considers most worthy of attention. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 The text is very inconsistent in its usage of quotation marks.\u2502\n \u2502 The transcriber has attempted to make their use consistent \u2502\n \u2502 throughout this work for improved readability. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Characters in small caps have been replaced by all caps. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Non-printable characteristics have been given the following \u2502\n \u2502 Italic text: --> _text_ \u2502\n \u2502 emphasized text within \u2502\n \u2502 italics --> |text| \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 This book was written in a period when many words had \u2502\n \u2502 not become standardized in their spelling. Words may have \u2502\n \u2502 multiple spelling variations or inconsistent hyphenation in \u2502\n \u2502 the text. These have been left unchanged unless indicated \u2502\n \u2502 with a Transcriber\u2019s Note. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Footnotes are identified in the text with a superscript \u2502\n \u2502 number and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which \u2502\n \u2502 they appear. \u2502\n \u2502 \u2502\n \u2502 Transcriber\u2019s Notes are used when making corrections to the \u2502\n \u2502 text or to provide additional information for the modern \u2502\n \u2502 reader. These notes are identified by \u2666\u2660\u2665\u2663 symbols in the \u2502\n \u2502 text and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which \u2502\n \u2502 they appear. \u2502\n \u2514\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2518\n\n\n\n\n THE\n WORKS\n OF THE\n Rev. JOHN WESLEY, M.A.\n\n Late Fellow of _Lincoln-College_, OXFORD.\n\n\n VOLUME XI.\n\n\n BRISTOL:\n Printed by WILLIAM PINE, in _Wine-Street_.\n MDCCLXXII.\n\n\n\n\n THE\n CONTENTS\n\n Of the ELEVENTH VOLUME.\n\n\n An Extract of the life and death of\n Mr. _Thomas Haliburton_.\n\n PART \u2666IV.\n\n \u2666 \u201cIII.\u201d replaced with \u201cIV.\u201d\n\n Chapter IV. _Of his death._\n\n\n An extract of the life of\n Monsieur _de Renty_.\n\n Chapter I. _Of his marriage, birth, and general way of life._\n\n Chapter II. _His humility._\n\n Chapter III. _His self-denial and mortification._\n\n Chapter IV. _His patience._\n\n Chapter V. _His faith._\n\n Chapter VI. _His hope._\n\n Chapter VII. _His love of God._\n\n Chapter VIII.\n Section I. _His love of man in general._\n Section II. _His charity to the poor._\n Section III. _His charity to the sick._\n \u2666Section IV. _His zeal for the salvation of his neighbour._\n\n \u2666 \u201cVI.\u201d replaced with \u201cIV.\u201d\n\n Chapter IX. _His outward behaviour and conduct of business._\n\n Chapter X. _His death._\n\n\n An extract from the life and death of\n _Thomas Walsh_.\n\n _The introduction._\n\n Chapter I. _Of his birth and education._\n\n Chapter II. _Of his religion, and the struggle which he found\n between nature and grace, till the sixteenth year of his\n age._\n\n Chapter III. _Giving a farther account of him; the corruptions\n he struggled against, and the means he made use of to subdue\n them._\n\n Chapter IV. _Of his forsaking the church of |Rome|._\n\n Chapter V. _Some further account of his progress in the way\n of life, with other reasons of his conduct, in regard of the\n church of |Rome|._\n\n Chapter VI. _Of some particulars previous to his Conversion._\n\n Chapter VII. _Giving a farther account of his soul particularly\n of his deep convictions._\n\n Chapter VIII. _Of his finding rest to his soul._\n\n Chapter IX. _Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of\n God, and the happy effects which it produced in him._\n\n Chapter X. _His employment among his Christian brethren, and\n the treatment he met with from the world._\n\n Chapter XI. _His providential appointment to labour for the\n good of his neighbour, by preaching the gospel._\n\n Chapter XII. _He begins to preach._\n\n\n PART II.\n\n Chapter I. _Of his entire application to preaching the gospel._\n\n Chapter II. _He goes into the provinces of |Leinster| and\n |Connought|, and preaches the word there._\n\n Chapter III. _Some farther account of the troubles he met with,\n on account of preaching the gospel._\n\n \u2666Chapter IV. _A short account of the endeavours of the Romish\n clergy, to prevent his usefulness among their people._\n\n \u2666 \u201cVI\u201d replaced with \u201cIV\u201d\n\n Chapter V. _He goes to |England|, and labours there._\n\n Chapter VI. _His love to souls, and zeal for promoting the\n glory of God._\n\n Chapter VII. _His application to study, love to the holy\n scriptures, improvement which he made thereof._\n\n Chapter VIII. _His manner of preaching._\n\n Chapter IX. _Of his frequent sickness, the exercises of his\n mind therein, and the improvement which he made thereof._\n\n Chapter X. _Of his temptations, conflicts, and exercises of\n soul._\n\n Chapter XI. _His communion with God._\n\n Chapter XII. _Some farther particulars, relating to the head\n of his communion with God._\n\n\n PART III.\n\n Chapter I. _An extract from Mr. |Thomas Walsh|\u2019s diary,\n relating chiefly, to the experience of his own soul, in his\n course of |walking with God|._\n\n Chapter II. _The extract from his diary continued._\n\n Chapter III. _The same continued._\n\n\n\n\n An EXTRACT of the\n LIFE AND DEATH OF\n Mr. THOMAS HALIBURTON.\n\n\n\n\n PART \u2666IV.\n\n \u2666 \u201cIII.\u201d replaced with \u201cIV.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _Of his death._\n\n\n1. ON _Wednesday, September 17_, (and some days preceding) he was under\ngreat trouble of mind; and a friend asking him that morning, How he\nhad rested in the night? He answered, \u201cNot well. I have been this night\nsore tossed with the thoughts of eternity. I have been thinking on the\n_Terribilia Dei_\u00b9, and all that is difficult in death to a Christian.\nAll my enemies have been round about me. I had a great conflict, and\nfaith was like to fail. O that I may be kept now in this last trial,\nfrom being an offence to his people!\u201d\n\n \u00b9 _i. e._ The terrible things of God.\n\nIn the afternoon, when some of his brethren visited him, he said, \u201cI\nam but young, and of little experience, but this death-bed now makes me\nold; therefore I use the freedom to exhort you to faithfulness in the\nLord\u2019s work. You will never repent this. He is a good master. I have\nalways found him so. If I had a thousand lives I should think all too\nlittle to be employed in his service.\u201d\n\n2. _Thursday, September 18._ Being asked in the morning, How he was? He\nsaid, \u201cO what a terrible conflict had I yesterday! But now I may say,\nI have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith. Now he hath put a\nnew song in my mouth. Praise, praise is comely for the upright. Shortly\nI shall have another sight of God than ever I had, and be more fit to\npraise him than ever. O the thoughts of an incarnate God are sweet and\nravishing! And, O! how do I wonder at myself, that I do not admire him\nmore! O that I could honour him? What a wonder I enjoy such composure\nunder these pains, and in view of approaching death! O, what a mercy,\nthat I have the use of my reason, till I have declared his goodness to\nme!\u201d\n\nTo his wife he said, \u201cHe came to me in the third watch of the night,\nwalking upon the waters; and he said to me, I am _Alpha_ and _Omega_,\nthe beginning and the end: I was dead, and am alive, and live for\nevermore and have the keys of death and hell. He stilled the tempest\nof my soul, and there is a sweet calm.\u201d\n\nWhen desired to be tender of his health, he said, \u201cI\u2019ll strive to last\nas long as I can. I have no more to do with my time, but to _tepe it\nout_\u00b9 for the glory of God.\u201d Then he said, \u201cI shall see my Redeemer\nstand on the earth at the last day. But before then, I shall see the\nLamb in the midst of the throne. O, it will be a glorious company, the\nspirits of just men made perfect, and Jesus the mediator of the new\ncovenant! O, for grace! Grace to be patient to the end!\u201d\n\n \u00b9 _i. e._ Spend it thriftily.\n\nThen he desired a minister to pray.\n\nAfter prayer, he called for a little water to wash his eyes, and said,\n\u201cI hope to get them washed shortly, and made like doves eyes, and then\nfarewel sin, farewel sorrow.\u201d\n\nThen taking some refreshment, he said, \u201cI get sleep from him, and food\nfrom him; and I shall get himself. My flesh and my heart faileth; but\nGod is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.\u201d\n\nSeeing his youngest child, he said to her \u201c_Mary_, my dear, the Lord\nbless you; the God of your father, and my father, bless you; the God\nthat fed me all my life; the angel that redeemed me from evil, bless\nyou and the rest, and be your portion; that is a good heritage, better\nthen if I had crowns and scepters to leave you. My child, I received\nyou from him, and I give you to him again.\u201d\n\nTo his wife he said, \u201cMy dear encourage yourself in the Lord; he will\nkeep you, though you even fall into enemies hands.\u201d And then, declaring\nhis willingness to part with his dearest relations, he said, \u201cThis is\nthe practice of religion, to make use of it when we come to the pinch;\nthis is a lesson of practical divinity.\u201d\n\nWhen the physician came, he said, \u201cDoctor, as to this piece of work,\nyou are near at an end of it. God be with you, and persuade you to be\nin earnest; I return you thanks for your diligence. Is my pulse low? I\nam well pleased it is. I would have been content to have been away long\ne\u2019re now; a few strokes more, and victory, victory, forever, through\nthe captain of our salvation!\u201d\n\n\u201cNow get acquaintance with God. The little acquaintance I have had with\nGod within these two days, has been better than ten thousand times the\npains I have been at all my life about religion. It is good to have\nhim to go to, when we are turning our face to the wall. He is known in\n_Sion_ for a sure refuge, a very present help in trouble.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhat a strange hardness there is in the hearts of men? But whether\nthey will hear, or whether they will forbear, it is our duty to speak;\nand when we are dead and gone, what we spoke in the name of the Lord,\nmay take hold of them.\u201d\n\nTo his eldest child he said, \u201cAh, _Margaret_, you seem sometimes to\nhave convictions from God. Beware of them; they are the most dangerous\nthings you ever meddled with. Each of them is God\u2019s messenger; and if\nyou despise the messenger of God, he will be avenged of you.\u201d\n\nTo a minister who came in he said, \u201cI am waiting for the salvation of\nGod.\u201d He answered, \u201cIf the Lord would spare you it would be a mercy\nto this place.\u201d He replied, \u201cWhat can a poor wretch signify? I could\ndo nothing: I signify nothing. But, I tell you, brother, what I have\nthought of long; I fear, from the taking off the servants of God at\nthis time, that there is like to be a general overflowing consumption,\nrunning over not only this, but all the reformed churches.\u201d\n\nTo the apothecary he said, \u201cStudy religion in youth: when you come to\nbe as I am, you will find no comfort without it. I give you this as\na solemn warning from God; if you come to be hardened by the frequent\nsight of men in my state, you may come to be hardened for ever.\u201d\n\nTo three ministers he said, \u201cMy dear brethren, it is purely from a\nsincere love to you, that I presume to say, when God helped me to\ndiligence in studying and meditating, I found him then remarkably\nshining upon me. There is nothing to be had with a slack hand. You\nare in an evil day. However, be \u2666faithful and God will strengthen you\nfor his own work, if you are faithful therein. You cannot, it is true,\nbring all persons to the Lord, but you may make their consciences, will\nthey, or nill they, speak for the Lord.\n\n \u2666 \u201cfaithul\u201d replaced with \u201cfaithful\u201d\n\n\u201cI repent continued he, I did not do more for him; but I have peace\nin it; what I did, I did in sincerity: he accepts of the mite. It was\nthe delight of my heart to preach the gospel, and it made me sometimes\nneglect a frail body. I desired to decrease, that the bridegroom might\nincrease, and to be nothing, that he might be all. And I rejoice in his\nhighness.\n\n*\u201cBrethren, this is encouragement to you to try and go farther. Alas! I\nhave gone no length; but would fain have gone farther: the hand of the\ndiligent maketh rich. Much study, much prayer, temptations also, and\ndistinct deliverances from temptations, are useful helps, I was fond\nenough of books; but I must say what God let me see of my ill heart,\nwas of more use than all my books.\u201d One said, \u201cThis is to believe and\ntherefore to speak.\u201d He replied, \u201cThe Lord help me to honour him. I\ndesire no more. O that I had the tongues of men and angels to praise\nhim! I hope shortly, to get a will to answer my duty, and ability to\nanswer my will. O to be helped so, and to fear always! How soon should\nI fall, if he withdrew! But do not stumble, Sirs, though, I should be\nshaken. The foundation standeth sure.\u201d\n\nWhen advised to be quiet a little, he said, \u201cHow should a man bestow\nhis last breath, but in commending the Lord Jesus Christ, God cloathed\nin our nature, dying for our sins!\u201d And when again prest to be tender\nof his body, he said, \u201cO but my heart is full!\u201d And then desiring a\nminister to pray for him, he said, \u201cPray that God may have pity on a\nweak thing, that is not able to bear much in the conflict!\u201d\n\nTo two other ministers he said, \u201cAbove all scan your own hearts, and\nmake use of what discoveries you get there, to enable you to dive into\nconsciences, to awaken hypocrites, and to separate the precious from\nthe vile; and to do it with that accuracy, and caution, as not to make\nsad the hearts which God hath made glad!\u201d\n\n\u201cWith respect to the difference which this oath is like to make among\nministers, with the greatest earnestness I say, whenever it begins,\nremember, difference is a hot thing; there must be condescension,\ntenderness and forbearance. We must not fly at the ball. Whatever\napprehensions I have, of some ministers not acting conscientiously,\nand preaching in such a way as may do hurt; yet I would speak tenderly,\nand act tenderly toward them. Let there be much of the forbearance and\nmeekness that is in Jesus. Follow peace: peace is worth much: wound\nnot our church among her enemies. The deadly evil which I fear will\nruin all, is, coldness and indifferency. Many seem to try, how far they\nmay go without being lost; but the Christian\u2019s rule is, to stand at a\ndistance.\u201d\n\nTo him who had succeeded him in the parish of _Ceres_, he said,\n\u201cThat people were my choice, to whom, with much peace and pleasure,\nI preached, as I could, though not as I should, the gospel of Christ.\nThough I own, that in all things I have sinned exceedingly before the\nLord, yet I have peace, in that with much concern I aimed at leading\nthem to the Lord Jesus. Tell them, that I die rejoicing in the faith\nand profession of what I often preached to them, under a low state of\nbody. Tell them, that the gospel I preached to them, if they receive it\nnot, will be a witness against them. We are, like our master, set for\nthe fall and rising again of many. And if we can do no more, yet if we\nbe faithful, they shall know, that a prophet hath been among them.\u201d\n\n*In the night-time he said, \u201cThis growing weakness of my eyes, is a\nsign of a change approaching. If he shut my eyes he will open my eyes:\neyes no more to behold vanity. But I shall behold him in righteousness,\nand when I awake, I shall be satisfied with his likeness!\u201d\n\n*Afterwards he said, \u201cIf this be the last day of my conflict, I would\nhumbly desire of the Lord, that he would condescend, to be tender to\none that loves his appearing: that as he has dealt wonderfully with me\nhitherto, so he may deal tenderly with me even to the end, in loosing\nthe pins of my tabernacle, and helping me to honour him by a composed\nresignation of myself into his hands.\u201d\n\nWhen one said, \u201cSir, I think you have need of rest:\u201d He answered,\n\u201cI have no need of rest, were it not to put me in case, to finish my\ncourse with joy. Lo, here the power of Christ\u2019s death, and the efficacy\nof his resurrection! I find the advantage of one at the right-hand of\nGod, who is able to save to the uttermost! That is the sight I long\nfor: he will but shut my eyes, and open them in glory. To have my soul\nentirely submissive to him in all things, that is my desire. And, so\nit will be shortly; then never will there be a reluctant thought, never\none more estranged thought from God!\u201d\n\n*To one who asked, if he was not faint, he answered, \u201cI am not faint,\nI am refreshed as with wine. O there is a sweet calm in my soul. My\ndesires are towards him, and the remembrance of his name. Remember him!\nWhy should not I remember him, that remembered me in my low condition?\nHe passed by and said, live! And when he says, he gives life.\u201d\n\nHe then desired to have read the former part of the first chapter of\nthe second epistle to the _Corinthians_. And after the 9th and 10th\nverses were read, _We had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we\nshould not trust in ourselves but in God which raiseth the dead: who\ndelivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver, in whom we trust\nthat he will yet deliver us_. He said, \u201cNow there \u2019tis all. God _hath_\ndelivered me, and I trust that he _will_ deliver me, and bruise Satan\nshortly under my feet, and I shall get the victory over the cunning\nworld, and the deceitful heart. Many a weary day have I had with my\nunbelief! If I had had faith to believe things not seen, to believe\nthat my happiness lay not in things temporal but eternal: if I had had\nfaith\u2019s abiding impression realizing these things, I should not have\nknown how to abide out of heaven a moment.\u201d\n\n*When he was desired to sleep, he answered, \u201cThose I am going to, sleep\nnot day nor night, but cry, Holy, holy, holy! They that wait on the\nLord shall renew their strength, and mount up with wings as of an eagle.\nI cannot get my heart in a right tune, as I would have it; but it will\nbe so in a short time.\u201d After he had lain still a little, one said,\n\u201cYou have not slept.\u201d He answered, \u201cNo; I had much work; but blessed be\nGod, pleasant work.\u201d\n\nAfterwards, when his wife asked how he was, he said, \u201cMy dear, I am\nlonging for the salvation of God, and hastening to it.\u201d Then seeing her\nvery sad, he said, \u201cMy dear, encourage yourself; here is a body going\nto clay, and a soul going to heaven; where I hope you are to come.\u201d\n\n*3. _Friday, September 19._ About five in the morning, when he was\ndesired to try if he could sleep, he answered, \u201cNo, no; should I lie\nhere altogether useless? Should not I spend the last of my strength,\nto shew forth his glory?\u201d He then held up his hands (which were much\nswelled) and said, \u201cLame hands, and lame feet! But see a lame man\nleaping and rejoicing!\u201d\n\n*Feeling some pain, he said, \u201cThis is one of the fore-runners of the\nchange, the great change. O when shall I be admitted to see the glory\nof the higher house? Instead of that cloudy light of a created sun, to\nsee that clear and perfect glory!\u201d\n\nAfter some time\u2019s silence, he took leave of his wife and children,\nsaluting and speaking to them all, one by one. Then he said, \u201cA kind\nand affectionate wife you have been to me. The Lord bless you, and he\nshall bless you.\u201d To a minister that came in, he said, \u201cBrother, I am\nupon a piece of trying work. I am parting with my wife and children.\nI am resolved, I bless his name; though I have had one of the best of\nwives, yet she is no more mine, but the Lord\u2019s.\u201d\n\n*Then to his son he said, \u201cGod bless the lad, and let my name be named\nupon him. But O, what is my name! Let the name of the Lord be named\nupon him. Tell the generation following, how good God is, and hand down\nthis testimony.\u201d\n\nAfter that, he spoke to his servants and said, \u201cMy dear friends, make\nreligion your business. I charge you all, beware of graceless masters;\nseek to be with them that fear the Lord.\u201d\n\nThen he said, \u201cHere\u2019s a demonstration of the reality of religion; and\nthat I a poor, weak, timorous man, once as much afraid of death as any:\nI that have been many years under the terrors of death, come now, in\nthe mercy of God, and by the power of his grace, composedly and with\njoy to look death in the face. I have seen it in its paleness, and in\nall its circumstances of horror. I dare look it in the face in its most\nghastly shape, and hope within a while to have the victory.\u201d\n\nHe then said to some ministers, \u201cMy brethren, I have been giving up my\nwife and children to God. I am upon the wing for eternity; but glory to\nGod, I know in whom I have believed.\u201d\n\n*Then he said, \u201cDear brethren, will you speak a word to one that longs\nto hear of him? O I love to hear the gospel, I love to preach it: \u2019Tis\na joyful sound, a sweet sound. I love to hear of his name. His name is\nas ointment poured forth. I love to live preaching Christ; and I love\nto die preaching Christ.\u201d\n\nAfter that he said, \u201cBrethren, I take this opportunity to acknowledge\nyour tenderness to me, who am unworthy of it in many respects. I can\nsay, I desired to live in love with you, and bless God, there was\nharmony among us. The Lord bless you and your labours: the Lord himself\nmultiply blessings on you and your families, and support you against\nall discouragements.\u201d Then to one of them he said, \u201cMy dear friend,\nshew kindness to my dear wife, and children. I recommend her to your\ncare; she has been the friend of my bosom, the wife of my youth, a\nfaithful friend.\u201d Afterward he said, \u201cLet patience have its perfect\nwork. My soul longs more than they that wait for the morning. Lord\nJesus make haste, until the day break, and the shadows flee away!\u201d\n\n4. After this, at his desire, a paper was read over, which he had\ndictated some days before. This he owned before several witnesses, and\ndesired them to attest it. The tenor whereof follows.\n\nHaving before so disposed of my worldly concerns, as I judged expedient\nfor my family; I thought myself bound, moreover, by this latter will,\nto declare my sentiments as to religion; being through the mercy of God,\nin the full and composed exercise of my reason, although very weak in\nbody.\n\n_First_, then, I acknowledge, I came into the world a defiled branch\nof apostate _Adam_, under the guilt of his sin, and tainted with the\npollution of sin derived from him; having a heart full of alienation\nfrom, and enmity against God: in a word, a child of wrath, an heir of\nhell. And long did I follow the bent of this corrupt nature, going on\nfrom ill to worse: indeed I had ruined myself, and could do nothing\nfor my own recovery; and must have been everlastingly lost, if God in\ntender mercy had not looked upon me.\n\nI must, on the other hand, bless God who cast my lot in a land where\nthe gospel of Christ is revealed; who so ordered it, that I was born\nof religious parents, and by them was seriously devoted to him. And\nwhereas I early subjected myself to other lords, I adore God, that by\nhis word and his spirit, he ceased not to strive with me, until in the\nday of his power he made me chearfully return to the God of my fathers.\n\nI bless God, that when I stood trembling under the terrors of his law,\nhe seasonably snatched me from despair, by discovering the blessed way\nof salvation for self-destroyed sinners through a dying Saviour. \u2019Tis\nhe alone who must answer for me. Without him I am undone. On him the\nefficacy of his sufferings, the power of his resurrection, and of his\nwhole mediation, as revealed in the gospel, do I build all my hope.\n\nI bless God that ever he honoured such a sinful, unworthy worm, to\npreach the glorious gospel of his Son. I confess I have but ill managed\nthis glorious trust, but have been a sinner in all I did exceedingly.\nYet so far as I know my own heart, it was the life of my life, to\npreach Christ crucified; nor durst I deal coldly and indifferently in\na matter whereon I knew depended both my own and my hearers salvation.\nAnd I must bear testimony to my master, that he never bid me go any\npart of my warfare upon my own charges. If I was straitened, it was\n_in my own bowels_; but when I freely gave what I had freely received,\nI never wanted seed for sowing, and bread for the eater, nor (I hope)\na blessing.\n\nI desire to join my insignificant testimony to that of the glorious\ncloud of witnesses, that _the gospel is the power of God unto salvation,\nto every one that believeth_; that the way of holiness is the way\nof pleasantness and peace; and the ordinances of the gospel, are the\neffectual means of communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son.\n\nIndeed all in God\u2019s way, and in his word, is glorious, honourable,\nand like himself: he needs none of our testimonies; but it is the\nleast we can do to celebrate his praises. I therefore being in some\nsense obliged, take this solemn occasion, before all the world, to\nacknowledge these, among many other obligations, I have received from\nhim. And to bequeath, as my last legacy to my family, this advice, to\nchuse the Lord for their God: for he hath been my father\u2019s God, the\nGod both of my wife\u2019s predecessors and mine. We hope he hath been our\nGod. And I recommend him to my children, solemnly charging them, as\nthey will answer it at the last day, to make it their first care, to\nseek peace with God, and reconciliation through Christ crucified; and\nbeing reconciled, to make it their perpetual study to please him in\nall things. It is my repeated charge to you all, follow God; follow him\nearly, follow him fully. I have oft devoted you, as I could, to God;\nand there is nothing I have so much at heart as to have this stand,\nthat ye may indeed be the Lord\u2019s. O that God himself may determine your\ntender hearts to seek him early, and he will be a good portion, and see\nwell to you.\n\nAs for my body, I commit it to the dust under the care of the keeper of\n_Israel_; expecting and hoping that that quickning spirit, who is the\nspirit of the head, and actuates all the members of his mystical body,\nwill in due time, quicken my mortal body: and for my spirit, I commit\nit unto the Lord Jesus, with whom I have entrusted it long ago: and I\nwill end with _Stephen_, crying, Lord Jesus, _receive my spirit_.\n\n THO. HALIBURTON.\n\n3. Soon after he said, \u201cI confess God has been beating me in a mortar\nthis long time; but he has been doing much work. My soul is even\nas a weaned child. I am loosed from all my enjoyments. My heart is\ndisengaged even from my dearest wife and children, but I have put them\nin a good hand.\u201d\n\nTo a friend he said, \u201cThere is a sweet composure in the Lord. The beams\nof the house are, as goodly cedar. I am laying down my tabernacle to\nresume it again. O for grace to be faithful unto death! After we have\ngone through many things, we have still need to wait on God till the\nlast. For _he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved_.\u201d\n\nThen he said to the physician, \u201cI fancy my feet are growing cold:\nyea all the parts of this body are going to ruin. You may believe a\nman stepping into eternity. I am not acting as a fool. I have weighed\neternity this night. I have looked on death in every circumstance that\nis terrible to nature. And under the view of all these, I found, that\nin the way of God there is not only a rational satisfaction, but a\npower that engages and rejoices the heart. I have narrow thoughts: I\nam like to be overwhelmed, and, I know not where I am, when I think on\nwhat I am to be, and what I am to see. I have long desired and prayed\nfor it.\u201d\n\n*Some time after he said, \u201cO sirs, I dread mightily, that a _rational_\nsort of religion is coming in among us, a religion that consists wholly\nin moral duties and ordinances, without _the power of godliness_, a way\nof serving God which is mere deism, having no relation to Jesus Christ\nand the Spirit of God.\u201d\n\nTo a minister that came from _Edinburgh_, he said, \u201cCome and see your\nfriend in the best case you ever saw him in, longing for a deliverance,\nand hasting to the coming of the day of God. I sent for you, to\nencourage you to preach the gospel in an ill world, and to stand by\nChrist, who had been so good to me. This is the best pulpit that ever\nI was in. I am now laid on this bed for this end, that I may commend my\nLord.\u201d\n\n6. _Saturday, September 20._ In the morning when a minister asked how\nhe was, he answered, \u201cI am composed, waiting for him.\u201d He replied, \u201cYou\nsee how kindly he deals with you: he gives you both heavenly exercise\nand heavenly enjoyments: he deals so tenderly with you, that you have\nlittle to do but to praise.\u201d He answer\u2019d, \u201cI have reason to desire the\nhelp of all to praise him. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is\nwithin me, magnify his holy name!\u201d\n\nTo some entering the room, he said, \u201cYou are all very welcome. I am\ntaking a little wine for refreshment. In awhile, I shall have new wine\nin the kingdom of his glory. I dare scarce allow my thoughts to fix\ndirectly upon it. I must look aside lest I be overwhelmed. But I must\nspeak of him who hath done wonderful things for me, and kept me in a\nperfect calm. Verily, light is sown for the upright, and gladness for\nthe true of heart. O when shall I conceive aright of glory! I cannot\norder my speech now, because of darkness! I long to behold it, but I\nwill wait till he comes. I have experienced much of his goodness since\nI lay on this bed. I have found that tribulation worketh experience,\nand experience patience, and patience hope. And I have found the love\nof God shed abroad in my soul.\u201d Then turning to his wife, he said, \u201cMy\ndear, encourage yourself in the hope, that under the conduct of the\nsame captain of salvation, you will come thither also. Cast yourself\nand your family upon the Lord. Encourage yourself; God liveth. Blessed\nbe my Redeemer, the rock of my salvation!\u201d\n\n*Then he said, \u201cWho is like unto him? O, what has he allowed me this\nnight! I know now the meaning of that, Whatsoever ye shall ask in my\nname, ye shall receive it. The Lord hath even allowed me to be very\nminute in every circumstance. Many a day have I feared, how I should\nget through the valley of the shadow of death: but now I fear not.\nBlessed be God, who, since I laid down here, hath carried on a work of\nsanctification far in my soul, that makes me meet for heaven! Young as\nI am, I die old and satisfied with days. The child is going to die an\nhundred years old. I am like a shock of corn, fully ripe. But, O, I\nhave been under a bright sun, in a day when the sun of righteousness\nshone, and I have had glorious showers.\u201d\n\nAfter a little silence he said, \u201cI have slept, and am refreshed. And\nnow what shall I say? I can say no more to commend the Lord; not for\nwant of matter, but of words. Well, Sirs, you\u2019ll meet with difficulties;\nbut this may encourage you, you see God owns his servants own him, and\ndespise what his enemies can do against them?\u2015\u2015God has kept my judgment\nfor the best piece of work I ever had. O what of God do I see! I never\nsaw any thing like it. The beginning and end of religion are wonderful\nsweet.\u201d One said, \u201cGod\u2019s dealing with you has been very uncommon.\u201d\nHe answered, \u201cVery uncommon indeed, if you knew all that I know. But\ntherein is the excellency of his power seen, in that he maketh the weak\nstrong.\u201d\n\nA while after he said to those about him, \u201cO this is the most\nhonourable pulpit I was ever in! I am preaching the same Christ,\nthe same holiness, the same happiness I did before. I have much\nsatisfaction in that. I am not ashamed of the gospel I have preached.\nI was never ashamed of it in all my days; and I am not ashamed of it\nat the last. Here am I, a weak man, in the hand of the king of terrors,\nrejoicing in hope of the glory that shall be revealed; and that by\nthe death and resurrection of a despised Christ. When the beginning of\nthis trouble was upon me, I aim\u2019d (as my strength would allow) at that,\n_shew me some token for good_; and indeed I think, God hath shewed me a\ntoken for good.\u201d\n\nThen perceiving his spirits faint, he said, \u201cCome Lord Jesus, receive\nmy spirit, fluttering within my breast like a bird to be out of a\nsnare.\u2015\u2015When shall I hear him say, The winter is past; arise my love\nand come away? Come and take me by the hand, That I stumble not in the\ndark valley of death!\u201d\n\nThen he desired a minister to pray; and after prayer said, \u201cLord, I\nwait for thy salvation. I wait as the watchman watcheth for the morning.\nI am weary with delays! O why are his chariot wheels so long a coming!\nI am sick of love. I am faint with delay!\u201d\n\nThen he said, \u201cdraw the curtains about me, and let me see what he has a\nmind to do with me:\u201d And after a while, \u201cWhence is this to me? There is\na strange change within this half hour. Ah, I am like to be shipwrecked\nto health again? O what sort of providence is this? I was in hopes to\nhave been at my journey\u2019s end: and now I am detained by a cross wind.\nI desire to be patient under his hand; but he must open my heart to\nglorify him. O pray for me; pray for me; that none who fear him may be\nashamed on my account.\u201d\n\nTo the apothecary he said, \u201cI thought to have been away, but I am come\nback again. I was glad to be gone; yet I am not wearied. He has not\nallowed a fretting thought. My pain is great; but I am enabled to bear\nit. O I am a monument of the power of God. My great desire has been\nthese many years, to suffer for the truth of our religion. And now God\nhas given me the greatest honour to be a living witness to it. I am a\nmonument that we have not followed cunningly devised fables. I shall\nbe at heaven shortly, by the word of my testimony, and the blood of\nthe Lamb.\u201d Then to a citizen he said, \u201cThere are but few names in this\nplace, that set their faces heavenward. But be you encouraged to go\non: you have been a kind neighbour; the Lord bless you and your family.\nThey that are planted in the house of the Lord, shall flourish in the\ncourts of our God. Here is an evidence of it. Last winter I thought I\nwas going to be cast out as a withered branch, and now the dead stock\nthat was cut has budded again, and grown a tall cedar in _Lebanon_.\u201d\n\nThen he said to the ministers, \u201cI desire to hear the word read, the\nword preached. Many times, when I thought on the worthies of old, I\nsaid I was born out of due time: but now I think I am born in due time;\nfor I shall see Jesus! Jesus that delivers from the wrath to come. I\nshall see _Elijah_ and _Moses_, the great old testament prophets. I\nshall see the two great mediators, the type and the antitype. The three\ndisciples got a glorious sight of Christ in his transfiguration, to\nconfirm their faith against the objections of the unbelieving. Was he\ndespised as a mere man and his godhead disowned? Lo, here he appears\nin divine majesty and glory! Did they say he was against the law? Lo,\nhere _Moses_, by whom the law was given, adoring him. Did they say,\nhe was not the Messiah foretold by the prophets? Lo, here _Elijah_ the\nmost zealous of them, owning and honouring him. Was he reproached as\na deceiver of the people? Lo, the voice from heaven saith, This is my\nbeloved Son, in whom I am well pleased: hear ye him. Yet this sight\nwas of short continuance. But in heaven we shall have an abiding sight.\nWe shall then behold his glory; and we shall be like unto him: for we\nshall see him as he is.\u2015\u2015\n\n\u201cO! I am full of matter! I know not where to begin or end. The Spirit\nof the Lord, hath been mighty with me! O, the book of God is a strange\nbook! \u2019Tis written within and without. I never studied it to the half\nof what I should: but now God hath given me much of it together.\u2015\u2015Never\nwas I more uneasy in my life: and yet I was never more easy. All my\nbones are ready to break; my hand is a burden to me; and yet all is\neasy!\u201d\n\n*Then to his wife, he said, \u201cO my sweet bird, are you there? I am no\nmore yours. I am the Lord\u2019s. I remember on the day I took you by the\nhand, I thought on parting with you. But I knew not how to get my heart\noff of you again: yet now I have got it done. Will you not give me to\nthe Lord, my dear?\u201d Then seeing her very sad, he said, \u201cMy dear, do not\nweep: you should rather rejoice: rejoice with me, and let us exalt his\nname together. I shall be in the same family with you: but you must\nstay a little behind and take care of God\u2019s children.\u201d\n\n*When wakened out of sleep, he said, \u201cI am now hand in hand, grappling\nwith my last enemy: and I find, he is a conquerable enemy; Yea, I\nam more than conqueror.\u201d One said, \u201cA strange champion indeed!\u201d He\nanswered, \u201cI? Not I, but the grace of God that is in me. By the grace\nof God I am what I am; and the God of peace hath bruised Satan under\nmy feet. I have often wondered how the martyrs could clap their hands\nin the fire: I do not wonder at it now. I could clap my hands, though\nyou held burning candles to them, and think it no hardship, though\nthe flames were going about them. And yet, were the Lord withdrawn,\nI should cry and not be able to bear it, if you but touched my foot.\u201d\n\n_Sunday, September 21._ About three in the morning he said, \u201cAnd is\nit the sabbath then? This is the best sabbath I ever had. On a sabbath\nnight my _George_ went to his rest: I bestowed him on God: blessed\nbe his name; and he made me content. I would have given him all my\nchildren that way; and I hope it shall be so: blessed be his name!\u201d\n\n*After a little pause he said, \u201cShall I forget _Sion_? Then let my\nright-hand forget her cunning. O, to have God returning to his church,\nand his work going on in the world! If every drop of my blood, every\natom of my body, every hair of my head, were men, they should all go\nto the fire, to have this going on.\u201d\n\n*After that he said, \u201cI could not believe that I could have borne, and\nborne chearfully this rod so long. This is a miracle, pain without pain.\nBlessed be God that ever I was born. I have a father, a mother, and ten\nbrethren and sisters in heaven, and I shall be the eleventh. O blessed\nbe the day that ever I was born! O if I were where he is! And yet for\nall this, God\u2019s withdrawing from me, would make me as weak as water.\nAll which I enjoy, though it be miracle upon miracle, would not make\nme stand without new supplies from God. The thing I rejoice in is,\nthat God is altogether full, and that in Jesus Christ there is all the\nfulness of the Godhead.\u201d\n\nThen to his wife he said, \u201cO wait upon him; for he is a good God to all\nthat serve him. He never takes any thing from them, but he gives them\nas good or better back again. My dear, we have had many a sweet day\ntogether: we must part for a while; but we shall meet again, and shall\nhave one work, the praises of God, and the praises of the Lamb!\u201d\n\n*Then to some present he said, \u201cDo you think that he will come and\nreceive the prisoner of hope to day? Whether he do it or no, he is\nholy and righteous; yet, I confess, I long for it. I do not tire. But\nthe hireling longs for his wages. If in his adorable wisdom he try\nme further, holy and reverend is his name; he is not wanting to me. I\ndesire only grace to be faithful unto death, until I come to the land\nof praises, to thy gates, O _Jerusalem_, to give thanks to the name of\nthe God of _Jacob_.\u201d\n\nThen a minister asking, if he should pray? He answered, \u201cYea, yea, pray\nfor me.\u201d And after prayer he said, \u201cThis night my skin has burned, my\nheart has panted, my body has been bruised, and there is a sore upon\nme, that is racking my spirit: and yet I cannot say, but the Lord still\nholds me in health in the midst of all. If he should please to continue\nme years in this case, I have no reason to complain.\u201d One said, \u201cNo\nhypocrite is able, in such a condition, to counterfeit such language.\u201d\nHe answered, \u201c\u2019Tis as great a wonder to me, as to any about me. Brother,\nI know not whether I may desire you to beg of the Lord, with respect\nto this poor body to shorten my trial, if it be his will: the hireling\nlongs for his wages; but I have reason to do it with submission.\n\n\u201cI long for a deliverance from the body. But if God lengthen my trouble,\nthen why not! Righteous is his name. I know not what alteration may\nbe. I confess, I am like a bird on the wing: and I would fain be at\n_Immanuel_\u2019s land, where the tree of life is.\n\n*\u201cWell, all this is encouragement to you, to acquaint yourselves with\nGod. All these soft cloaths are like sackcloth to me; and yet I have\nperfect ease of spirit. My breast and my stomach are drawn all together,\nas it were with cords; and yet the mercy of God keeps me composed.\nWhat is this? I could scarce have believed, even tho\u2019 I had been told,\nthat I could have kept in the right exercise of my judgment, under this\nracking pain. Whatever come of it, this is a demonstration that there\nis a reality in religion; and I rejoice in this, that God hath honoured\na sinful worm, so as to be a demonstration of his grace. My dear\nfriends, while I live, I must preach the gospel. He has given me awhile\nyet here, which ought to be reckoned precious, and so long as it lasts,\nmy work is still to commend him. The word speaks, providence speaks\nin me; despise not the gospel under this new discovery. I am a sinner;\nshame belongs to me: worthy is the Lamb to receive glory.\u201d\n\nTo two ministers who stayed with him while the rest went to church, he\nsaid, \u201cIf my head would bear it, I would fain hear singing. I do not\nfind any change, and God has in some measure taken away my inclination\nto limit him, as to the hour.\u201d He then joined in singing the latter\npart of the 84th psalm; and after singing said, *\u201cI always had a\nmistuned voice, and which is worse, a mistuned heart: but when I\njoin the temple service above, there shall not be one string of the\naffections out of tune.\u201d\n\nTo some that came from church he said, \u201cYou have been in the assembly\nof God\u2019s people, wherein communion with the Father and Son may be\nattained. These enjoyments are some of the most valuable to be had\nhere, and the way to the rest which remaineth for the people of God. O\nhow amiable are thy tabernacles even here! But how much more so above,\nwhere there is the eagle\u2019s eye, that can see the glorious light, even\nthe light of the Lord!\u201d\n\n*Then to the ministers he said, \u201cWhen this trouble began, I expected no\nsmile from God. I thought if I could steal away, creeping with terrors,\nto be plunged into eternity with a peradventure, it was fair. But he\nhath taken me out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. I am\nnothing, less than nothing, a vile sinner; but mercy does all.\u201d\n\nIn the night he caused the songs of degrees to be read, and said,\n\u201cThese psalms are so called (say some) because they were sung on the\nsteps of the stairs that led up to the temple. And what fitter to be\nread to a poor sinner, that aims at climbing up the hill of God, where\nthe great temple of God is?\u201d\n\n*8. _Monday, September 22._ At half an hour past two, he asked what\nhour it was, and said, \u201cEarly in the morning my friends shall be\nacquainted; for I expect this cough will hasten my deliverance. Well,\nwell; I shall get out of the dark cloud; within a little I shall be\nin _Abraham_\u2019s bosom; yes, in his, who carries the lambs in his bosom:\nand I am sure of goodness and mercy to follow me. O how good is he to a\npoor worm! Let us exalt his name together. It is the constant employ of\nall above, day and night. They see and sing; they have a clear vision.\nO when shall I see his face, who is fairer than the sons of men! Yea,\nwho is brighter than the sun in his strength!\u201d\n\nTo a minister he said, \u201cCould I have believed (but I am an unbeliever)\nthat I could have had this pleasure in this condition? Once or twice\nSatan was assaulting my faith. I waked in a sort of carnal frame, and\nI thought I had lost my jewel; but now he will stand by me to the end.\n*What shall I render to him? My bones are riving through my skin; and\nyet all my bones are praising him.\u201d\n\nAfter struggling with a defluction in his throat, he said: \u201cThis is a\nmessenger from God to hasten me home. The other day I would have gone\naway without this glorious evidence of the grace of God. But this is\nmore for my advantage, that I am thus tried and comforted. I said, Why\nare his chariot wheels so long a coming? But I will not say so any more.\nYet a little while, and he that shall come, will come, and will not\ntarry.\u201d\n\nThen he said, \u201cIf I should say that I would speak no more in the\nname of the Lord, it would be like a fire within my breast.\u201d And some\nlooking at him as in amaze, he said, \u201cWhy look ye stedfastly on me, as\nthough by my might or power I were so? Not I, but the grace of God in\nme. \u2019Tis the Spirit of God that supports me.\u201d\n\nTo his wife he said, \u201cBe not discouraged, my dear, at the unavoidable\nconsequences of nature. \u2019Tis an evidence that there is but a very\nlittle time more, and death will be swallowed up in victory: the\nbody will be shaken in pieces, and yet, blessed be God, my head is\nas composed as it was before my sickness.\u201d\n\n*Then to some present he said, \u201cMy moisture is much exhausted this\nnight, but the dew lies all night on my branches, the dew that waits\nnot for man, nor tarries for the sons of men. O what cannot grace do?\nHow have I formerly repined at the hundredth part of this trouble! O\nstudy the power of religion! \u2019Tis the power of religion, and not the\nname, will give the comfort I find. I have peace in the midst of pain.\nAnd, O how much of that I have had for a time past! My peace has been\nlike a river, not a discomposed thought. There have been some little\nsuggestions, when my enemies joined in a league together, and made\ntheir great assault upon me. I had then one assault, and I was like to\nfall. But since the Lord rebuked them, there is not a discomposed\nthought, but all is calm.\u201d\n\nTo a gentlewoman he said, \u201cYou are come to see your old, dying friend;\na wonder indeed, but a wonder of mercy. I am preaching still, and I\nwould be so content to do, till these flesh and bones were wasted to\nnothing. *The God of glory appeared to me, and the first sight I had\nof him was such, as won my heart to him, so as it was \u2666never loosed.\nMany wandrings I have had, but I was never myself, till I went back\nto my center again.\u201d He then rattled a little in his throat, and said,\n\u201cThis may be irksome to you; but every messenger of death is pleasant\nto me, and I am only detained here, that I may trumpet forth his praise\na little longer.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cver\u201d replaced with \u201cnever\u201d\n\n*About noon he said, \u201cI was just thinking on the pleasant spot of earth\nI shall get to lie in, beside Mr. _Rutherford_, Mr. _Forrester_, and\nMr. _Anderson_. I shall come in as the little one among them, and I\nshall get my pleasant _George_ in my hand; and O, we shall be a knot of\nbonny dust.\u201d Then he said, \u201cIt will not be all my sore bones, that will\nmake me weary yet (as long as God gives me judgment to conceive, and a\ntongue to speak) to preach his gospel.\u201d\n\nThen with the utmost warmth he broke out, \u201cStrange, this body is\nsinking into corruption, and yet my intellectuals are so lively, that\nI cannot say there is the least alteration, the least decay of judgment\nor memory. Such vigorous actings of my spirit toward God, and things\nthat are not seen! But not unto us; not unto us; which I must have\nstill on my heart, lest cursed self steal the glory from God!\u201d\n\nSome time after he said, \u201cGood is the will of the Lord. Every one of\nthese throws is good; and I must not want one of them: I must not fly\nfrom my post, but stand as a centinel, for this is my particular work.\nThis would be hard work without Christ: but \u2019tis easy with him who is\nthe captain of my salvation.\u201d\n\nHe mentioned the pain in his head, but said, \u201cIn a battle there must be\nblood and dust. Every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and\ngarments rolled in blood. \u2019Tis meet I should be so hard put to it, that\nI may know to whom I owe my strength. O that I were at the throne above,\nthat my glimmering light were taken away, that this unsteady faith\nmight terminate in vision!\u201d\n\nThen he said, \u201cIf I am able, though I cannot speak, I\u2019ll shew you a\nsign of triumph, when I am near glory!\u201d\n\nTo his wife he said, \u201cMy dear be not discouraged, though I should go\naway in a fainting fit. The Lord\u2019s way is the best way. I am composed.\nThough my body be vexed, my spirit is untouched.\u201d\n\n*One said, \u201cNow you are putting your seal to that truth, that godliness\nis great gain. And I hope you are encouraging yourself in the Lord.\u201d As\na sign of it, he lifted up his hands and clapped them. And in a little\ntime, about seven in the morning, he went to the land, where the weary\nare at rest.\n\n\n\n\n An EXTRACT of\u00a0the LIFE of\n Monsieur DE RENTY,\n\n A late NOBLEMAN of FRANCE.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of his birth, marriage, and general way of life._\n\n\n1. MR. _De Renty_ descended from one of the most noble houses of\n_Artois_. He was the only son of _Charles De Renty_, and was born\nin the year 1611, at _Beny_ in _Low Normandy_. There he was brought\nup till six or seven years of age, and then by his mother carried\nto _Paris_, where he lived with her about two years, till he was put\ninto the college of _Navarre_; whence he was sent to _Caen_, till at\nseventeen he was removed to an academy, or school of genteel exercises\nat _Paris_. He was soon accomplished in all the exercises there taught:\nBut what then pleased him most was, the mathematics. For these he\nslighted all sorts of diversions, till he understood them perfectly,\nand composed some books therein.\n\n2. About this time a stationer whom he used, presented him with _Kempis\nof the imitation of_ Christ; and some time after pressed him to read it,\nwhich he had no sooner done, than he felt new thoughts and affections,\nand resolved seriously to pursue the one thing needful, the working out\nhis salvation. And ever after he so esteemed that book, that he always\ncarried it about him, and made use of it on all occasions.\n\n3. At the age of twenty-two, he married _Elizabeth de Balsac_, daughter\nof the Count of _Graville_, by whom he had five children, four of which\n(two sons and two daughters) survived him.\n\n4. Having lived to the age of twenty-seven years, it pleased God to\ntouch his heart more closely; and this time he marked as the beginning\nof his entire change, and perfect consecration to God\u2019s service: in\norder whereto, he was well convinced of the necessity of a good guide;\nand God provided him one, such as his need required, a person of deep\nlearning, of great piety, and well-experienced in the directions of\nsouls, who had the conduct of him for twelve years. By his advice\nhe withdrew altogether from court, he renounced all visits of pure\ncompliment, and all unnecessary employments to give himself up to those\nwhich might glorify God, and help his neighbour.\n\n5. Every day before dinner, and again in the evening, he made an\nexact search into his smallest faults. He communicated three or four\ntimes a week, having ever an incredible esteem of the holy Eucharist,\nblessing and praising God for its institution, and exciting all men to\ndo the same. He was used to say, \u201cThat the great design of God in the\nincarnation, life, death, and resurrection of his Son, was to convey\nto us his Spirit, to be unto us life eternal. And in order to cause us\nto die to ourselves, and live thereby, he gave him to us in this holy\nsacrament, and with him all the blessings of grace, to dispose us for\nthose of glory.\u201d\n\n6. One day in a week he visited the poor sick people of the great\nhospital _de Dieu_: another those of his own parish; a third the\nprisoners; and in the rest he used to meet at assemblies of piety.\nHe assembled his own family every evening to prayers, and discoursed\nto them every _Saturday_ on the gospel for the next day. And of his\nchildren he took more special care, to engrave deeply in them the fear\nof God, and to convince them that the customs and maxims of the world\nwere utterly irreconcilable to the gospel of Christ.\n\n7. The order he kept in his journies was this: in the morning, before\nsetting out, they joined in prayer; after setting out, the first thing\ndone was, the saying the _itinerarium_; next was, the \u2666singing the\n_litanies of our Lord_; then followed some meditation, and after that a\npart of the _divine office_. This being done he entertained the company\nwith some good discourse. Beholding the spacious extent of the country,\nhe would speak of the immensity of God. Upon the presenting of any\nbeautiful object, he would discourse of the beauty of God, and in so\nlively a manner as to touch the very heart. Approaching near the place\nwhere they were to dine, he began his self-examination: and being come\nthither, as soon as out of his coach, he went to the church, and next,\nif there were any in the place, to the hospital. Being at his inn, the\nfirst thing he did in his chamber was, to cast himself on his knees,\nand to pray with great affection for all persons that entered that\nplace, and for pardon of all disorders that had been there committed.\nIf he saw any thing offensive written on the walls or chimneys, he\ndefaced it, and in the place wrote something of instruction. And\nalways before his departure he endeavoured to give some good advice\nto the servants of the house, or to such poor as he could meet with,\nthat so he might not pass through any place without doing some good\nthere. After dinner, when in his coach again, he took a little time\nfor recollection, then sung the _Vespers_; which done, he wished the\ncompany to use some useful conversation. About four they sung the\nevening psalms; afterward he applied himself to mental prayer; and\nbeing come to his inn, his exercises were the same with those of the\nmorning.\n\n \u2666 \u201csigning\u201d replaced with \u201csinging\u201d\n\n*8. A fuller account of his general way of life he writ to his second\ndirector, as follows:\n\n\u201cI have delayed some days after the command I had, to set down the\nemploying of my time, for the better discovering of some things\ntherein; but I find nothing there of strict order because all consists\nin following the order of God, which causes in a manner continually\ndifferent things, though all upon the same foundation.\n\n\u201cFor my outward behaviour, I usually rise at five (that is, after\npart of the night spent in prayer.) At my awakening, I consider myself\nas nothing, before the majesty of God. I unite me to his Son and\nSpirit. Being risen, I cast myself down, and adore the blessing of\nthe incarnation, which gives us access to God; and deliver up myself\nto the Holy Jesus, to be entered into his Spirit.\n\n\u201cBeing cloathed, I go into the chapel, where I cast myself down, and\nadore God, abasing me before him, and making me the most little, most\nnaked, most empty of myself that I can; and I hold me there by faith,\nhaving recourse to his Son and to his Holy Spirit, that whatsoever is\nhis pleasure may be done by me.\n\n\u201cBetween six and seven I read two chapters of the New Testament\nbare-headed and on my knees. I then give place to my affairs; but if\nthere be no business urgent, I prostrate myself before God till I go\nto church. There I stay till half an hour past eleven, except when we\ndine some poor people, then I return at eleven. Before dinner I examine\nmyself, and use some prayers for the Church, and for the propagation\nof the faith. I dine at twelve, and in the while have something read.\nHalf an hour past twelve I spend an hour with them that have business\nwith me. Then I go out whither the order of God shall direct. Some days\nare assigned for certain exercises; others are not. But be it as it\nwill, I endeavour to spend about evening an hour in devotion. About\nseven, after I have used some prayers, we go to supper. After supper\nI instruct my children. At nine are family prayers, after which I\nmeditate till ten; and then going to my chamber, and recommending\nmyself to my God, after some short prayers, I endeavour to repose.\n\n*\u201cAs to the order of my interior, I have not (as I may say) any; for\nsince I left my _Breviary_, all my forms have left me; and now instead\nof serving me as means to go to God, they would only be hindrances. I\nbear in me ordinarily an experimental verity, and a plenitude of the\n\u2666presence of the most Holy Trinity, which elevates me to a simple view\nof God; and with that I do all that his providence enjoins me, not\nregarding any thing for their greatness or littleness, but only the\norder of God, and the glory they may render him.\n\n \u2666 \u201cpesence\u201d replaced with \u201cpresence\u201d\n\n\u201cFor the things done in community, I often cannot rest there: I perform\nindeed the exterior for the keeping of order; but follow always my\ninterior, because when a man hath God, there is no need to search for\nhim elsewhere. And when he holds us in one manner, it is not for us to\ntake hold of him in another, and the soul knows well what unites it and\nwhat multiplies and directs it.\n\n\u201cFor the interior therefore, I follow his attractive; and for the\nexterior I see the divine will, which I follow, with the discernment\nof his spirit, in all simplicity; and so I possess by his grace, in\nall things, silence of spirit, a profound reverence, and solid peace. I\ncommunicate almost every day, perceiving myself strongly drawn thereto.\n*I continually give up myself to God through Jesus Christ, worshipping\nhim in spirit and in truth, loving him with all my heart, with all my\nsoul, with all my mind, and with all my strength, and seeing in all\nthings the conduct of God, and adorning and following it. And this only\nabiding in my soul, all things else are defaced and blotted out. I have\nnothing of sensible in me, unless now and then some transitory touches:\nBut, if any dare to say it, when I sound my will, I find it so quick\nand flaming, that it would devour me, if the same Lord who animates\nit (though unworthy) did not restrain it. I enter into a heat and\ninto fire, and even to my fingers ends, feel that all within me speaks\nfor its God, and stretcheth itself forth in length and breadth in his\nimmensity, that it may there dissolve and there lose itself to glorify\nhim.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _His Humility._\n\n\n1. ST. _Austin_ well observes, That poverty of spirit is nothing else\nbut humility: The truly humble knowing themselves to be nothing of\nthemselves but sin and misery, to have nothing, as being at best but\nmanifold receivers of the grace of God; to be able to do nothing,\nhaving no power of themselves even to think a good thought, and to\ndeserve nothing but shame and contempt, but misery and punishment. And\nthey are willing, yea desirous, that all others should think of them as\nthey do of themselves.\n\n2. M. _de Renty_ being well convinc\u2019d that this is the foundation of\nall virtue, and that it was the proper virtue of Jesus Christ, whom he\nhad proposed to himself as his pattern in all things, embraced it with\nhis whole affection, gave himself up to it with all his force, and\npractised it in its utmost latitude.\n\n3. He had so low an opinion of himself, as it would be a difficult\nthing to express. The greatness of God, whenever he considered it,\nhumbled him to an immeasurable depth; \u201cA mote, said he, in the sun is\nvery little, but I am far less in the presence of God, I am nothing.\u201d\nBut correcting himself, he added, \u201cAlas I am too much; I am a sinner,\nan anathema through my crimes.\u201d To the same person he wrote, \u201cMethinks\nI break myself in pieces before God: that I am spoken of, that I have\nso much as a name is a strange thing.\u201d I have seen him very often (says\none that knew him well) humble himself, as it were to the centre of the\nearth, while he spoke to me of God; saying, \u201cIt was not for such a one\nas him to speak of him, but that he ought rather to contain himself in\nsilence.\u201d\n\n*4. This exceeding low opinion he had of himself, made him more than\nonce say, with tears in his eyes, \u201cThat he was much astonished at\nthe goodness of men in suffering of him, and that he could not enough\nwonder, why every where they threw not dirt at him, and that all the\ncreatures did not bandy against him.\u201d And he was persuaded, it was\nmuch boldness in him to speak, and that men shewed great patience in\nenduring his conversation.\n\n5. Nor was there any thing which did not serve to increase his humility.\nHe abased himself much in the consideration of the weakness of our\nnature, of which as he exprest it, \u201cIt is important that a man have\nexperience, that he neither forget himself, nor the place he ought\nto hold: that no flesh may glory in his sight; that being abased and\nrendered as a thing that is not at all, Jesus Christ may be in him, the\nlife of grace and holiness, waiting for the time of our redemption.\u201d\n\n6. But much was he humbled by the consideration of his past sins; In\none of his letters to his director, he writes thus, \u201cmy faults are as\none great heap, which I feel in myself, obstructing the light from God.\nI am strangely remiss and ungrateful, I find much in myself to confound\nand humble me.\u201d In another, \u201cI am sensible of my fault, in mentioning,\nthat I had placed a servant in such a family. I had a motion within\nme, not to have spoken it; and yet it escaped from me: of which I am\nexceeding sensible. I should have been more faithful to the Spirit\nof God.\u201d And in another, \u201cI am as blind (or rather more) in seeing my\nfaults as in other things. Only in general, I have a deep sense of my\nmisery: And I can say, I am not ignorant of my unworthiness, and the\ndeplorable corruption sin hath wrought in me. But lately I mentioned\nthe faults of a certain person to another that knew of them before,\nto make him understand that he was in a better condition. But my\nconscience reproached me, that I might have done this without: and I\nconfess I meddled too much in that affair. In sum, I am a straggler\nfrom God, and a ground over run with thorns.\u201d\n\n7. He drew yet further matter of humiliation from his rank and\ncondition, and the secular advantages which it gave him. He not only\ndespised, but was ashamed of them; often groaning before the majesty\nof God, and saying, \u201cHe was in the lowest condition according to the\nSpirit of Jesus Christ, and that he had great confusion to see himself\nin that estate.\u201d Hence it was, that he solemnly renounced his nobility,\nand gave it into the hands of our Lord; that he did not love even for\nany one to call him _Monsieur_, and that he wholly declined the title\nof Marquiss (which was proper to his house) and suffered only that of\nBaron of _Renty_.\n\n8. Even the gifts and graces of God made him more humble; thus\nproducing their true effect, which is, to abase and elevate the soul\nboth together, to raise it to God, and abase it to itself. In whatever\ngood was done by him he assumed no share at all, but referred all to\nGod the true source. And so in the management of all those talents, he\nhad always his hands clean, without touching what appertaineth to God.\nNor would he therefore that any one should consider him in what he said\nor did, but regard God alone therein. And to one who much desired a\nvisit from him, he wrote thus, \u201cI cannot bear the account you make of\nmy visits and society. Let us look much upon God; let us bind ourselves\nstrictly to Jesus Christ, that we may learn of him fully to renounce\nourselves. O, my God, when will it be that we shall eye ourselves no\nmore, when we shall speak no more of ourselves, and when all vanity\nshall be destroyed!\u201d\n\n9. He likewise esteemed himself most unworthy of any of the grace or\nfavours of God. Of which he says to a friend, \u201cThe gifts of God are\nsometimes so great, that they put us beyond ourselves. As among men\nif a poor man receives a gift from a prince, according to the grandeur\nof his own power, he is utterly overwhelmed, and can find no words to\nexpress his acknowledgment: So God gives blessings that go beyond our\nexpectations or capacities, and which make us see how unworthy we are,\nwithout daring to lift up our eyes; so doth their brightness dazzle,\nand their greatness astonish us.\u201d\n\n10. The same opinion which he had of himself he was willing, yea\ndesirous that others likewise should have of him. \u201cIf I were to wish\nany thing, said he, it should be, to be much humbled, and to be treated\nas an off-scouring by men.\u201d And hence he received contempt, when it\ncame, not with patience only, but with joy: of which he gave an evident\nproof in his first journey to _Dijon_, whence he thus wrote to his\ndirector;\n\n\u201cThe reports here spread concerning me are, that I have nothing but\nartifice and shews of devotion; and that I kept private, out of fear\nby coming abroad of discovering what I was. Most, I find, even of those\nfrom whom I expected quite the contrary, have sollicited against me.\nAnd hereby God hath shewn me many favours. I have been with them, and\nreceived humiliation with great joy. I have been very wary of opening\nmyself in any thing that might recommend me to them. I have only done\nin my business what truth required; and for any thing else, I have made\nit matter of confusion, as I ought. I shall be here, I believe as one\nexcommunicate, as the scape-goat of the old law, driven out into the\nwilderness for my enormous sins. I desire only to love God, and condemn\nmyself.\u201d\n\n11. Nor was it only in his words but in his actions also, that the\nhumility of his heart appeared. Since his entire dedication of himself\nto God, he would not suffer a cushion to be carried to church for him;\nbut to be there hid and disregarded, he often mingled himself among\nmechanics and mean persons. He kept himself always as much as he could\nat the lower end of the church; and frequently, if the door was shut,\nsaid his prayers on the outside of it, that he \u201cmight not, as he said,\nput any to the trouble of opening it to a poor sinner.\u201d\n\n*12. During the war at _Paris_, he went himself to buy bread for the\npoor, and carried through the streets as much as his strength would\npermit. At the same time offering to take into his care the church\nplate of a monastery, he pressed them to let him carry it to his\nlodging, (which was two miles thence) and on foot as he was, a very\nlarge and weighty piece. And being desired that when he did them the\nfavour to visit them again, he would come in his coach, by reason of\nthe distance; he answered, \u201che did not love to make use of a coach,\nhe must endeavour to make himself in every thing very little.\u201d He went\ntherefore thither on foot, and returned at five or six, in the shortest\ndays, sometimes in thawing weather. And being told of the pains he took,\nhe replied, \u201cOur Lord took pains in a far other manner.\u201d\n\n13. When he was assisting with his own hand in the repairing of one of\nhis houses, he thus expressed himself:\n\n\u201cBlessed for ever be our great God, by Jesus Christ! I believe I ought\nto labour in the lowest employments; and the time I spend therein, I\ncount very dear, regarding it as ordered by God. What makes me the more\nto know it is his order, is this; that from time to time I feel more of\nretribution from him in one instant, than the patience and humiliation\nof a sinner could merit in all his life. He so opens himself to me,\nthat I am quite mollified, and melted into tears. My eyes are so full\nof them, that often I have much ado to keep them in, pierced as I am\nwith love, with reverence, and with acknowledgment of his goodness\nmanifested by his enlightning presence, and of his inexplicable conduct.\nI see, we are not, by a spirit of pride, under pretence of the glory\nof God, to dispense with ourselves from labouring in things mean and\npainful. It was a work very gross and mean for Jesus Christ to converse\nwith men, who had more of rudeness than these stones I deal with. O\nthat I may obtain a part in his obedience, and submission to the orders\nof God his Father.\u201d\n\n14. Being one day to go to a person of great quality, in a business\nthat much concerned the glory of God, he would not use his coach, tho\u2019\nhe was to traverse in a manner all _Paris_, and it poured down rain.\nOne moved, that at least his footman might carry a cloak, which he\nmight take when he came thither. But he yielded not. Only he consented\nto throw the cloak over him: and in the nobleman\u2019s house he laid aside\nthe wet cloak, and appeared in the other ordinary one of his own.\n\n15. Behold another effect of his humility, of which he writ to his\ndirector, _December\u00a026, 1646_.\n\n\u201cThe other day my Lord Chancellor\u2019s lady sent me a packet of letters,\nin which were some from the king, wherein I was made counsellor of\nstate. I sent her word, that I received what had the mark of the king\nwith all respect. But I most humbly begged she would be pleased to take\nit in good part, if I did not accept those letters, but desired that\nthe business might sleep without noise. My disposition towards affairs\nof this nature is, to have nothing at all to do with them. If they come\nupon me perforce, without my seeking, our Lord will give me strength to\nbear them.\u201d\n\n16. To the same person on another occasion, he wrote as follows:\n\n\u201cWalking one day through the streets of _Paris_, in a mean dress, I\ndeeply reflected on that of the apostle, _We are become as the filth\nand off-scowering of the world_. I considered how much neatness and new\nthings, even in the most trifling instances, do hurt (if one take not\ngood heed) the simplicity and lowliness of a Christian spirit. And I\nsaw it was a great temptation for any, to think to preserve his outward\ngrandeur, in hopes thereby to have more weight and authority for the\nservice of God. This is a pretence, indeed, that the infirmity of most\nChristians makes use of in the beginning: but experience draws them at\nlast to Jesus Christ, who was made the lowest of men.\u201d\n\n17. A further proof of his humility, was his carriage to the director.\nHe did nothing that concerned himself, without his conduct: to him he\nproposed whatever he designed, either by speaking or writing, clearly\nand punctually, desiring \u201chis advice, his pleasure, and blessing upon\nit;\u201d and that with the utmost respect and submission: and without reply\nor disputing, he simply and exactly followed his order. His director\nhaving written to him, he answered in these terms; \u201cI beseech you to\nbelieve, that although I am most imperfect and a great sinner, yet if\nyou do me the favour to send me a word of what you know to be necessary\nfor me, I hope with God\u2019s help to profit thereby. I pant not after\nany thing but to find God and Jesus Christ, in simplicity and truth.\nI pretend to nothing in this world but this; and beside this I desire\nnothing.\u201d\n\n18. The last effect of his humility we shall mention, was his\nextreme contempt of the world. He despised all which it could give or\npromise; all its goods, pleasures, honours, dignities; counted all its\nallurements as dung and dross, trampled under foot all its glories. He\nbeheld for this end our Lord for his pattern, who, from his very first\nentrance into it, made an open profession of an absolute contempt of\nit, \u201c_Because he was not of the world_.\u201d\n\n*19. To animate a lady with the same spirit, he wrote to her thus:\n\u201cI wonder how a thing so little as man, drawn out of nothing in his\noriginal, infected with his first parent\u2019s sin, and the addition of\nhis own: when he is raised to so high a degree of honour, as to be one\nwith Christ the Son of God; can continue to esteem the world, or make\nany account of its vanities! Shall the things of the earth waste the\nlittle time we have to secure the treasures of heaven; things that will\nall pass away like a dream: as we see our fathers are gone already,\nand there is no more remembrance of them: their joys and griefs, their\npleasures and pains, are they not all vanished away? And are we not\nsure they were out of their senses, if they considered any thing but\nGod in their ways? The same will befall us: Every thing else will pass\naway, and God alone will abide.\u201d\n\n*The same lady, in another letter, he encourages thus: \u201cCourage, all is\nwell! We must die to the world, and search out the hindrances it brings\nto our perfection. We must live in the world as not living there;\npossess it, as not possessing it. Let us drive out of our minds the\naffection to our fine houses; let us ruin the delights of our gardens;\nlet us burn our groves; let us banish these vain images which we have\nof our children; approving in them what we condemn in ourselves, the\nshow and glitter of the world.\u201d\n\n*I know there is a difference of conditions; but all ought to\nreject those intailments on noble blood, (as men account them) those\nprinciples of aspiring to the highest, and of bearing nothing. Let us\ntake from them this vanity of mind, this stateliness of behaviour. Let\nus arm them against the pernicious examples of those grandees in story,\nwhose punishments are as eminent in hell, as their presumption was upon\nearth.\n\n*\u201cMy design is not, that you should demolish your walk, or let your\ngardens run into a wilderness. The ruins I speak of must be made in\nour own minds, not executed on things insensible. When I say, we must\nset all on fire, my thoughts were, to follow that admirable spirit\nof the apostle, who would that we have poverty amidst our riches, and\ndivestment in the midst of our possessions: he means, that our spirit\nbe thoroughly purified and separated from all creatures; because a\nChristian does himself great wrong, if he entertains in his heart any\nother inclinations than those of Jesus Christ, who saw all the world\nwithout destroying it, but withal without cleaving to it.\u201d\n\n20. It is to bring us to this spirit, that God permits us to meet so\nmany pains and troubles in the world; as when a man sets thorns in a\nway, to make men take another. \u201cGod has his ends, says M. _De Renty_,\nin all these contrarieties, _viz._ that those who are his, should be\nyet more his, and despise more and more all that is in the world. By\nthese the confusion and vanity of the world are made known to them that\nare not of it; who being in the spirit of death, wait for nothing more\nthere but death; bringing forth, in the mean while, the fruits of life\neternal.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _His self-denial and mortification._\n\n\n1. AS it is absolutely necessary for every soldier of Christ, who would\nnot _so fight as one that beateth the air, to keep the body under, and\nbring it into subjection_; M. _de Renty_ vigorously applied himself to\nthis work. He made but one meal a day for several years; till he was\ninjoined to take more nourishment, to be the better able to undergo the\ngreat labours he undertook for his neighbour. He nevertheless eat but\nlittle, and always of the worst. A person who observed him at dinner\none day, took notice, all he eat was some pears only, and that with\nso great seriousness and recollection, that it was easy to discern his\nmind was on God, and not upon his meat.\n\n*2. When one of his friends entertained him one day at _Caen_, he was\nmuch grieved (as he afterwards declared) that Christians should be\nfeasters; adding, _It was a torment to be where there was so much\nsuperfluity_. Hereon his friends took no more thought about his diet,\nknowing his best entertainment was the meanest fare, and that they\ncould not oblige him more, than by leaving him to his liberty. And\noften at _Paris_, when he was so far from home, that he could not\nreturn to dinner, he would step into a baker\u2019s shop, and after a piece\nof bread and a draught of water, chearfully go on with his business.\n\n3. Nor did he deny himself only with regard to his taste, but to all\nhis other senses also. When he went into the country, and came in the\nevening to his inn, after having dismissed his servants, he either\npassed the night in a chair, or lay down in his cloaths and boots,\nwhich was his custom till death. And when at _Amiens_, a lady, in\nhonour of his virtue and quality, had prepared him a rich bed in a\nstately chamber, he made no use of it, but laid him down upon a bench,\nand there slept till morning.\n\n4. Being come to \u2666_Pontois_ in winter, and lodging at the _Carmelite\nNuns_, he told them not to make a fire, or prepare a bed. He then went\nto visit the prisoners (which he never forgot) and at his return, about\nnine in the evening, finding them going to prayers, without taking any\nthing to eat, he went into the church with them, where he continued\ntill eleven. And indeed at every time and every place, on every\noccasion, even in the slightest and meanest things, he kept a watchful\neye over himself, that he might in no instance fulfil the desires of\nthe flesh, but daily inure himself to endure hardship.\n\n \u2666 \u201cPointois\u201d replaced with \u201cPontois\u201d\n\n*5. A short description of his mortification, or deadness to the world,\nwe have in his own words. \u201cSince the time I gave up my liberty to God,\nI was given to understand, to what a state the soul is brought, which\nis capable of union with him. I saw my soul reduced into a small point,\ncontracted and shrunk up to nothing. At the same time I beheld myself\nas encompassed with whatsoever the world loves, and as it were, a hand\nremoving all this far from me, and plunging it into the ocean. First,\nI saw removed all outward things, kingdoms, great offices, stately\nbuildings, rich and elegant furniture, gold and silver, recreations,\npleasures: all which hinder the soul in her way to God, of which\ntherefore it is his pleasure she be divested, that she may arrive\nat that death which will bring her into the possession of real life.\nSecondly, all inward things, which are of a more delicate and precious\nnature, as learning, reason, strength of memory and understanding; to\nwhich likewise we are in a manner dead, if we are alive to God. And I\nperceived that we must come like little infants, simple and innocent,\nseparated not only from evil, but even from our ordinary manner\nof doing what is good. We are to undertake what things the divine\nprovidence presents to us, by making our way by God to them, rather\nthan by them to God. A truly mortified soul sees nothing but God: not\nso much (if I may so speak) as the things she does, of which nothing\nstays in her, neither choice, nor joy, nor sorrow, for their greatness,\nor for their littleness, for good or bad success; but only the good\npleasure and order of God, which ruleth in all things, and which\nin all things contents the soul that adheres to him, and not to the\nvicissitude of affairs, and is therefore constantly even, always the\nsame in the midst of all changes.\u201d\n\n6. As to the particulars of M. _de Renty_\u2019s mortification, in the first\nplace, he was dead to riches. \u201cI acknowledge before God (says he in a\nletter to his director) his great mercy to me thro\u2019 his Son, in freeing\nme from the things of this world, and my constant thoughts are, that\nif his order did not oblige me to do otherwise, I would quit all that\nI have.\u201d And to another, \u201cAll that can be imagined in this world is of\nsmall concern, though it were the losing of all our goods. This poor\nant-hill is not worth a serious thought. Had we but a little faith and\na little love, how happy should we esteem ourselves in giving away all,\nto attend on God only.\u201d\n\n*7. Thus entirely, even in the possession of riches, was his heart\nengaged from them. And when the better part of his estate was in\ndanger of being lost, he said, without the least emotion, \u201cSince God\nhath committed this estate to me, I will do what shall behove me to\npreserve it, and then \u2019tis all one to me what follows.\u201d Yea, he often\nexpressed a kind of holy envy toward the poor, and a high esteem of\ntheir condition, both as most advantageous for Christian perfection,\nand because Christ himself had lived and died therein. \u201cI avow to\nyou, (says he to a friend) the more of riches come to me, the more\ndo I discover of the malignity affixed to them. My heart is strongly\ninclined to follow him who was the most poor and depressed among all\nhis followers. But that I know I may not put myself into that estate,\nI should pant after it very much. What I infer from hence is this, that\nnot knowing the counsels of God, I cannot tell how he will dispose of\nme for the future: but I offer myself up to whatsoever shall please him,\nknowing that with him I can do all things.\u201d\n\n8. This inward temper appeared in a thousand outward effects. He parted\nwith several books, because richly bound: used no gloves in season;\nwore no cloaths, but plain and close made; carried no silver about him,\nbut for works of charity. I have seen him at first in his coach, with\na page and footman; afterward, in his coach with a footman, without\na page; then with his footman only, without his coach; and in fine,\nwithout either.\n\n9. And as he was dead to riches, and to all the things of the world,\nso he was, secondly, to the persons in it: having no affection for any,\nbut what was grounded upon, and subordinate to the love of God. This\nwas particularly observable, with regard to those who were engaged\nto him by one of the tenderest ties, who depended upon him, and\nused his counsel for the conduct of their souls. *To one of these he\nwrote, \u201cI cannot hear without trouble the great matter you make of my\nconversation: let us breathe after God, and learn from Jesus Christ an\nentire renunciation of our own affections.\u201d And in another letter thus:\n\u201cJesus Christ is ever the same, and his grace is continually advancing;\nand as long as I am his, I shall be yours for his sake. He is not wont\nto part souls by the separation of bodies: since his custom is, only to\ntake away what might be a hindrance to the perfect life of the spirit.\u201d\n\n*10. To a friend who had lost his director he wrote thus: \u201cHis remove\nwould doubtless be a great loss to you and all the country, if the\nprovidence of God did not rather sanctify and establish, than destroy;\nbut by removing these visible supports, he often settles us more\nfirmly in our adherence to him through Christ, where we find all\npower, and who is so near that he is even in the midst of us; and\nwhen our dependence upon creatures is cut off by his providence, we\nexperimentally find, that we are not left destitute, but that supply\nis made either by the spirit which dwelleth in us, or by his ministers\nthat remain; who the fewer they are, the more is the grace we receive\nby them multiplied. Nor should we be further engaged to those who\nassist us in our spiritual conduct, than as to God\u2019s instruments,\nwhose help it is his will we should make use of, but no longer than\nhe pleaseth; and when it is his will to take them from us by death, or\notherwise, we ought not to lose our courage, but with submission and\ngratitude resign all to him, who will again provide for us as seemeth\nhim best.\u201d\n\n11. He was, Thirdly, dead to all desire of every kind. Being one day\nasked, \u201cHow he could be so quiet in such circumstances,\u201d he answered,\n\u201cThat through God\u2019s mercy, he was indifferent to all things, and that\nhe no longer felt either fear or desire of any thing.\u201d And writing to\nhis director, he says, \u201cFor the future I could wish, if there be any\nthing left for me to wish, that I had nothing left me but my God: This\nis the rich treasure of the heart, the sure replenishment of the soul.\u201d\n\n12. He had no eager desire even of sensible consolations; touching\nwhich, he expressed himself thus, \u201cDryness, and other troubles of\nspirit, are to be borne with upon any terms, and we must give up\nourselves as forlorn creatures, throwing ourselves wholly upon God.\u201d\nAnd again, \u201chowever dry your soul may be, when you endeavour to\nplace it in a state of reverence and affiance in the presence of God,\npersevere still as much as you can, and keep yourself shut up in the\ncabinet of your heart; suffer not the noise of all those tempests\nwithout; be still, and mind them not. They have all their use; they\nserve to purge the soul, and dispose it for the operation of God\nupon it. Let then distractions, and all sorts of imaginations assault\nyou, as it pleaseth God, but let them not hinder you from that holy\nexercise; diverting (as you are able) your mind from them, continue\nyour sacrifice, with full assurance you shall not wait long, before\nyour Lord come.\u201d And when he found himself for a time, in such a\ncondition, he would cry out aloud, \u201cI am thine, O God, in spite of all\nthese things, and so I will continue without reserve for ever.\u201d And\nsometimes he would write with his finger upon the ground, \u201cI am content\nwith every thing that proceeds from the will of God: I ask nothing else\nbut what he appoints for me; I will never trouble myself to be freed\nfrom dryness; my resolution is, to bless God at all times.\u201d\n\n*13. Lastly, He was dead to his own will, which he had perfectly\nresigned, in conformity to the will of God. \u201cFar be it from me, saith\nhe in one of his letters, to act in this by my own spirit; I would\nhave it wholly annihilated, that it might know no other language but\nnothing, and continually nothing; to follow in all the footsteps of the\ndivine will, according to its measure and manner.\u201d In another thus: \u201cMy\nSaviour hath graciously brought me to such a state of indifferency for\nevery thing that I could be well contented, all my life, to be fix\u2019d to\nmy bed, a paralytic, not able to stir, without making any reflection on\nany service I might render to my neighbour, or that I could render him\nno more: all things according to the will of God, being equal to me.\u201d\nAnd in a third: \u201cOf late I have been busied in such employments as were\nsufficient to have overwhelmed so weak a spirit as mine, had it not\nbeen absolutely resigned to the will of God. It is on him alone I rest,\nhaving renounced myself. I adore the decrees of his sacred will, who\nholdeth all things in his own hands, to keep us subject unto him by his\njustice, and to sanctify us by his love: happy, if we have the hearts\nof children, the spirit of Christ Jesus, to sigh after him, and cry\ncontinually, _Abba Father_.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _His patience._\n\n\n1. QUESTIONLESS the humble man is patient, because he knows he deserves\nfar more than he suffers: And whoever will search into the true cause\nof his own impatience, will find it to be no other than pride. On the\ncontrary, M. _de Renty_ being most humble, was by consequence most\npatient.\n\n2. Persons who had lived a very long time with him, and carefully\nstudied all his actions, never heard him complain for any thing\nwhatever; neither for sickness, or loss, or any other occasion;\nbut they always observed in him a constancy immovable, continually\nlifting up his heart to God, and offering all to him, without otherwise\ndwelling on what was grievous; being glad that the work of God went on,\nand receiving all in the spirit of sacrifice.\n\n3. In his second journey to _Dijon_, with his lady and the Countess of\n_Chatres_, he was seized with a violent rheumatism, which put him into\npain all over his body: and when he was obliged to take his bed, he\nwent thither quite stooping, supported by a staff, and by a person that\nled him. *But notwithstanding the extremity of the pain, he made no\ncomplaint, nor uttered one word. The ladies seeing him first quite pale\nand wan, and in a moment all on fire, told him, \u201cSurely he was very\nill;\u201d He answered only by a discourse on the pain endured by Jesus\nChrist, and the favour it was for a soul to suffer for God\u2019s will; but\nin terms so full of sweetness, and with so much of love and zeal, that\nthe company were affected with great devotion in hearing him.\u201d\n\n*4. When he was again asked, whether he was not in much pain, he at\nlength answered plainly, \u201cMy pains are great even to swooning; but\nthough I feel their extremity, yet through the grace of God, I yield\nnot up myself to them, but to him.\u201d He said farther, that being led\ninto his chapel of _Citry_, and set down upon a bench by reason of\nhis illness, the bench broke without any visible cause, and that he\nbelieved the evil spirit had broken it, in order to provoke him to\nimpatience, making him fall untowardly; \u201cBut by the mercy of God, said\nhe, though the pain that surprised me was sharp, I was no more moved\nthan you see me now.\u201d\n\n5. Nor was it only in sickness, but in all occurrences of life,\nhe carefully practised this virtue; so that whatsoever befel him,\nthough it shocked his whole nature, his body, spirit, judgment, will,\ninclination, desires, designs, and those of the best sort, he possessed\nhis soul in patience and tranquillity, receiving all without any\nalteration, without being either exalted or dejected by it.\n\n*6. \u201cPraying to God, says he in one of his prayers, before the holy\nsacrament, a poor man came to me to beg an alms. In this instant it was\ngiven me to understand, that if we were well enlightened, _we should\nnever imagine ourselves to be hindred, by any person or thing_: because\nwe should in all things regard the order of God, conducting all to our\nadvantage; we should see that both inward and outward distractions are\nto be received with this same spirit; and that the uneasiness these\nlittle accidents give us, springs purely from our want of mortification.\n\n\u201cWe ought indeed, as far as we can, to shun the occasions. But when\nthey come, we must look upon them as ordered by God, and receive and\nbear them with all sweetness, humility and reverence: and, though\nthey interrupt us, the order of God is not interrupted in us. And this\nindeed is the great secret of the spiritual life; this is paradise upon\nearth.\n\n\u201cIn truth, nothing troubles us but thro\u2019 our own fault: all the\nvexation which we inwardly feel, or outwardly shew, when any one\ncrosses or hinders us from doing any thing, flows from the disorder of\nour too much engaged spirit. For removing of which, and the keeping our\nhearts in peace we must mark this well: _whoever hinders us from doing\none good work, thereby gives us the means of practising another_. *A\nman suppose, interrupts your reading and prayer. But he gives you an\noccasion of exercising patience, which at this time will please God,\nand perfect you, more than all those employments. In them there was\nsomething of your own will; but in this you wholly renounce yourself.\nAnd the fulness of God is not, but in the emptiness of the creature.\u201d\n\n7. One great source of M. _de Renty_\u2019s patience, was the high esteem\nhe had of sufferings, which sometimes made him ready to cry out with\nthat holy woman, \u201cEither to die or suffer\u201d! \u201cI see says he, that in a\nmanner, every thing is unprofitable in this life but to suffer. Every\npleasure is a too hasty seizure of that recompence, which is not due to\ncriminals, who sojourn in this world only to be purged. Some pleasures\nindeed may be sometimes necessary, in regard of our weakness, but even\nthey are apt to hinder the soul from attaining so high a degree of\nperfection.\u201d\n\n8. \u201cThough I dare not chuse or bring sufferings upon myself, (says\nhe in a letter to his director) yet having always before my eyes how\nlittle I render to God for his favours, I am inflamed to suffer with\nour Lord. In every other thing we are receivers from God. But in this\nthough we receive the grace to suffer, yet the suffering is that which\nwe can in a manner give to God, and which is the best gage and proof of\nour love.\u201d But he very wisely adds, \u201calthough I know this, yet I cease\nnot to know what I am: and amidst all my inclinations and desires,\nI dare not to beg to suffer the least thing: Or, if I happen to do\nso I revoke it afterwards, as having done foolishly. I have too much\nexperience of my weakness. I give myself only to my God for every thing\nhe pleases. By his order I will all: With him I can do all: and that\nwhich is ordered by him is always accompanied by grace.\u201d\n\n9. The same spirit he earnestly recommended to all who were studious\nof Christian perfection. To one of whom he said, \u201cIt is a great favour\nto suffer; that is if you suffer in the spirit of Jesus Christ. But\nthere are very few that do so; very few that with a perfect resignment\nto what God ordains concerning them; very few without some inquietude,\nand dwelling in their thoughts upon their pressures: few that give\nall events to the conduct of God, to employ themselves entirely in his\npraise, and to give way by their acquiescence and submission, for him\nto exercise all his rights and power ever them.\u201d\n\n*10. One that was in great pain he encouraged thus: \u201cMany are called\nChristians, but few have a Christian spirit. Many look up to heaven in\ntheir prayers, but in their lives they are children of nature, looking\nonly upon the earth. If they do lift up their eyes to heaven, it is\nonly to complain; to pray God to condescend to their desires, not to\nshew their acceptance of his. Or perhaps they will give some small\nthings to God; but not those on which they have fixed their affection.\nIf he separates them from them, it is a dismembring which he must make,\nand to which they cannot consent. As though the life of Christians were\nnot a life of sacrifice, a continual imitation of a crucified Saviour.\n\n*\u201cGod, who knows our wretchedness, takes from us for our good, the\ncause of our evil, a parent, a child, a husband, that he may by another\nevil, affliction, draw us to himself, and make us see that all these\nties to whatsoever it be that separates us from him, are so many\nobstacles to our real happiness: and such obstacles that we shall one\nday own in the face of all the creation, the greatest mercy he ever\ndid us was, to free us from them. But we must beware not to count this\nmercy a chance or misfortune; for this would be to turn the remedy into\npoison.\n\n\u201cLet us enter into the holy disposition which was in Christ, to suffer\nwillingly for the glory of God, and our salvation. Is it not strange,\nthat though the way he past through to glory, was ignominy, pain,\nand the cross, yet they who call themselves his followers, desire\nand expect another way for themselves to walk in? It is a shame for a\n\u2666Christian to pass his days more at ease than Jesus Christ did. Let us\ntherefore go after him, and suffer with him. Blessed be sickness, the\nloss of honour, riches, goods of the nearest things, and the separation\nfrom all creatures, which hold us bowed towards the earth, if it set\nus straight, and make us lift up our eyes to heaven, and enter into\nthe designs of God over us. Blessed be the plague, the war the famine,\nall the scourges of God, which produce in us these effects of grace and\nsalvation!\n\n \u2666 \u201cChirstian\u201d replaced with \u201cChristian\u201d\n\n11. The greatest exercise of patience he ever had was that which was\ngiven to him by his mother. She had claimed a large share of what his\nfather had bequeathed to him; who with great submission and respect\ngave her all that he believed her due, over and above. But she demanded\nstill more. Being advised by council, it could not be given without\nwrong to his children; he \u2666referred the whole business to arbitrators,\nand agreed that his mother should choose them all. The day being\ncome for their giving sentence, his mother was in one chamber of the\nhouse, and her son, with his lady and a friend in an other, where\nhis employment was, to pray to God for such an issue as might be for\nhis glory, and the procurement of peace. When the award was brought,\nalthough it was not advantageous to him, and there was a large penalty\non whomsoever did not stand to it, he heard it with perfect calmness,\nand immediately signed it without objection or dispute.\n\n \u2666 \u201crefered\u201d replaced with \u201creferred\u201d\n\n12. Believing now that his mother was fully satisfied, he was no\nsooner returned home, than he caused _Te Deum_ to be sung, beginning it\nhimself, in thanksgiving for this happy conclusion. But God, to refine\nand purify him the more, permitted the cross to continue upon him. For\nhis mother, not satisfied yet, found means to appeal from the award,\nwithout incurring the penalty.\n\nHer son did all that was possible for him to alter her design; after\nearnest prayer, and extraordinary fasting, he went to her, cast himself\non his knees before her, and with the utmost reverence, humility and\nsubmission, begged of her over and over, with abundance of tears,\n\u201cthat she would please to take him and his family to herself; and after\nthat she might dispose as she pleased of all the goods his father had\nleft him.\u201d But neither would she consent to this, but persisted in her\nresolution, of suing him at the parliament of _Dijon_. This he might\nhave prevented, and never stirred out of _Paris_, but in respect to her,\nhe declined it, and determined to go to _Dijon_.\n\n13. Being come thither, he found all mens minds fully prejudiced\nagainst him, which he gladly endured, that he might be partaker of the\nreproach, and honour the abasement of the Son of God. And when a person\nof piety acquainted him with the strange reports which were spread\nabroad concerning him, he with admirable calmness raised his heart to\nGod, and humbled himself before him. She asked, Whether it was true\nthat injurious papers had been put in against his mother? He answered,\n\u201cNo; he had seen all the writings, and found them drawn with the\nrespect due to a parent.\u201d *She asked further, \u201cIf he was not much\nafflicted at her harsh manner of proceeding against him?\u201d He said,\n\u201cNo; because I so much adore the order of God over me, that I cannot\nbe afflicted at that which he permits to befal me. I am a great sinner,\nand therefore not only my mother, but all the word have just cause to\ntake part against me.\u201d\n\n14. She adds in a memorial, that many ways were proposed for adjusting\nthe difference; but that it was the greatest difficulty in the world to\nbring his mother to join in any: that in the midst of these delays, she\nsaid to M. _de Renty_, \u201cSir, I shall willingly say the _Te Deum_, when\nonce your business is ended.\u201d And that one day when they believed it\nwould be wholly concluded, he came to her with a chearful countenance,\nand said, \u201cIt is now time to say the _Te Deum_, since you had the\ngoodness to promise it. And may I be so bold as to desire to say it\nwith you? O what a great and wise God have we! Who knows well, how\nto do all things, as they ought and when they ought, not according\nto our precipitation, but his order, which is our sanctification!\u201d\nHereupon he said the _Te Deum_, with a spirit so elevated to God, as\ngave sufficient evidence of his being wholly filled with him. And when\nafterwards all was broken off, without hopes of making up again, he\nsaid, *\u201cIt is well; though nothing be done, it was very fit to return\nthanks to God, for doing his own will, and not that of a sinner,\nunworthy to be heard or regarded.\u201d\n\n15. There passed many other things at _Dijon_, and since at _Paris_,\nduring these differences, even to the death of his mother. But I doubt\nnot, he who is now in the place of perfect charity, approves of my\npassing over in silence the failings of her, to whom all his life he\nbore so much love and respect.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _His faith._\n\n\n1. MR. _de Renty_ studied with a particular care a solid foundation in\nthis virtue, knowing how all other virtues depend upon it, as on their\nroot, their rule and measure. And he possessed it in so high a degree,\nthat he was more assured of the presence of God, and the truth of the\nmysteries of Christianity, than of the shining of the sun. He truly\nlived by faith: this was the path wherein he walked, working all by\nthe spirit thereof. He beheld things not with his bodily eyes, but\nwith those that pierced deeper. Considering them not according to\ntheir present condition, or the order of nature; but according to\ntheir future and eternal, their relation to grace and glory; regarding\nnothing but as it was, or might be a means of his own or others\nsalvation.\n\n2. Being fortified by this faith, he was wont to say, he felt no\ndifficulty at all, when (in his younger years) he was in a state\nof dryness, wholly deprived of sensible comforts. To which purpose\nhe writes in one of his letters thus; \u201cWe seldom meet with persons\naddicted to prayer, that behave themselves well under inward trials.\nThey have no patience to wait for comfort. They fret themselves, and\nhurry this way and that, as if by their own means they could procure\nit, seeking for another support than that of faith, which alone should\nsuffice any spiritual man. For _the just should live by faith_, and\non that foundation rest, in expectation of our Saviour, with patience;\nknowing these joys are but supplements to the littleness, and cordials\nfor the faintings of our faith.\u201d\n\n3. Animated by this spirit, he relied not on any thing that came to\nhim in an extraordinary way; resting neither on visions, miracles,\nrevelations, nor inward motions, but solely on a pure and naked faith,\nto carry him to God.\n\n4. He knew our perfection consists in nothing else, but the renewal\nof our soul in faith, hope, and charity: in performing to God the\nsacrifices of a lively faith, a perfect hope, and fervent charity. To\ncultivate and adorn his soul with these, was therefore his constant\ncare; to unite it more and more intimately with God, through faith\nworking by love, and to give himself up with all his strength to this\nhidden and divine life.\n\n5. Some years before his death, he was peculiarly employed in the\ncontemplation of the blessed Trinity. Wherefore he gave this account to\nhis spiritual guide; *\u201cI carry about with me ordinarily an experimental\nverify, and a plenitude of the presence of the Holy Trinity.\u201d And again,\n\u201cI possess the sacred Trinity with a plenitude of truth and clearness;\nand this in so pure and vigorous a manner, that my outward employment\ncreates me no diversion at all.\u201d And another time he writ thus; \u201cJesus\nChrist worketh the experience of his kingdom in my heart, and I find\nhim there my Lord and my Master, and myself wholly his. I discover\nnow a greater enlargement of my heart, but such as I am not able to\nexpress; only thus, it is a simple but most real sight of the Trinity,\ncontinually accompanied with praising, blessing, and offering all\nhomage thereto.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VI.\n\n _His Hope._\n\n\n1. A STRONG faith cannot but produce a firm hope and charity. A true\nbelief in God, what he is in himself, and what he is to us, will work a\nstrong affiance in him, and ardent charity towards him; as appeared in\nM. _de Renty_, who being grounded in faith, had also an undaunted hope,\nand inflamed affections.\n\n2. The experience of the power and mercy of God, and faith in the\ninfinite merits of our Redeemer, were the two pillars on which he built\nhis hope: and resting on these, he hoped all things. He used to say,\nthat when he looked at himself, there was nothing so little wherein he\napprehended not difficulty. But when he looked upon God, he could think\nnothing difficult, much less impossible.\n\n3. Accordingly in all affairs, he relied not upon his own prudence,\nconduct, care, or any human strength or wisdom, but on God alone,\nsaying, \u201cWhen we have done our duty with great diffidence in ourselves,\nwe ought to attend wholly on God, and wait his time.\u201d And thus he writ\nto a friend, \u201cAs for my children, I leave them in the hands of the holy\nJesus, without determining any thing concerning them, not knowing what\nwould befall to-morrow. He giveth me great confidence in his protection,\nwhich renders me altogether blind, without wishing any thing, but being\nready for his will in every thing.\u201d\n\n4. Guarded with his perfect confidence, he feared nothing, but remained\nfirm and resolute against all encounters. He walked securely in all\nplaces, at all times, in the streets, in the fields, by day and by\nnight; travelling through woods and forests, reputed dangerous, and\nfrequented by robbers, without any other defence than his trust in\nGod. A friend told him one day, he was afraid to walk in the evening\nin the streets of _Paris_ without a sword, and desired his advice; who\ntold him, he had left off wearing a sword a long time, and advised him,\nafter he had commended the business to God by prayer, to trust in his\nprotection; assuring himself, that his protection over us, is according\nto our reliance upon him.\u201d\n\n5. One day a scaffold on which he stood with his workmen fell down, and\nhurt several of them: but it moved not him; his spirit remained in the\nsame evenness as if nothing had happened; being settled on him in whom\nis no variableness, neither shadow of turning.\n\n6. Those words were found in one of his letters to his director. \u201cMy\nsoul being armed with confidence and love, fears neither the devil nor\nhell, nor all the stratagems of man. Neither think I at all on heaven\nor earth, but only how to fulfil the will of God in every thing.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VII.\n\n _His love of God._\n\n\n1. THE sentiments M. _De Renty_ had of the love of God, he thus exprest\nin a letter to his director; \u201cIn all I read in the scripture, I neither\nunderstand nor find any thing but this Love. The very _end of the\ncommandment is love, out of a sincere heart_. And this is acquired by\nfaith in _Christ Jesus_, as the apostle observes in the following words.\nFaith uniteth us to him, whereby we sacrifice our souls and bodies,\nthro\u2019 his spirit; which conducteth us to the compleat end of the law,\nto deliver us up to God and bring him down to us in charity, and a\ngracious inexplicable union; to whom be praise for ever! _Amen!_\u201d\n\n2. Writing to another, he says, \u201cI thank our Lord, who hath disposed\nyou to a perfect self-denial. This is the way to love; and our love\nof God is shewn, not so much in receiving gifts and graces from him,\nas in forgetting ourselves, in renouncing all things, and suffering\nconstantly and courageously for him.\u201d\n\n3. So inflamed was M. _De Renty_ with this love, that all his thoughts,\nwords and works, were the fruits of it. All his virtues drew their\noriginal from this: it was the beginning, and motive, and end of all.\n\u201cI cannot conceal from you, said he to a friend, that I have a fire in\nmy heart, which burns and consumes without ceasing.\u201d And this divine\nfire was so ardent in his soul, that the flames thereof often burst\nforth into his exterior; and he hath owned, that whenever he pronounced\nthe name of God, he tasted such a sweetness as could not be exprest.\n\n4. One of his friends assures us, \u201che has often seen him so inflamed\nwith love, that he appeared like one beside himself: and that he has\ntold him, when these transports were upon him, he was ready to cast\nhimself into the fire, to testify his love to God.\u201d And one of his\nletters he concludes thus: \u201cI must now hold my peace; yet when I cease\nto speak, the fire within that consumes me will not let me rest. Let\nus burn then, and burn wholly and in every part for God. Since we have\nno being but by him, why do we not live to him? I speak it aloud and it\nwould be my crown of glory, to seal it with my blood.\u201d\n\n*5. To another he writes thus: \u201cI know not what your intent was,\nin writing those words, \u2018_My |God| and my all!_\u2019 Only you incite me\nthereby to return the same to you and to all creatures, \u2018My God and my\nall! My God and my all! My God and my all!\u2019 Is your heart full of it,\nand think you it possible I should be silent on such an invitation! Be\nit known to you, that he is my God and my all; and if you doubt of it,\nI shall speak it a hundred times over. I shall add no more, for any\nthing else is superfluous to him that is truly penetrated with \u2018My God\nand my all\u2019.\u201d\n\n*6. This love of God wrought in him an incredible zeal for his honour,\nwhich he thus expresses to his director; \u201cOne day being transported\nwith an earnest desire to be all devoted to God, and all consumed for\nhim, I offered up to him all I could, yea, and all I could not. I would\nwillingly, if they had been mine, have made a deed of gift to him of\nheaven and earth: and in another way, I would gladly have been the\nlowest of all mankind. Yea, and if supported by his grace, I could\nhave been content, to advance his glory, to have suffered the pains\nof the damn\u2019d. In this disposition of a calm zeal, there is no sort of\nmartyrdom, no degree of greatness or littleness, honour or dishonour,\nthat passed not through my soul, and that I would not readily have\nembraced for the advancement of his glory. It is impossible to express\none circumstance of what I felt. All I could do was, to give up my\nliberty to God, writing the deed in paper and signing it with my blood.\u201d\n\n7. See here the zeal of a man all on fire with the love of God! And the\nsurest proof of love, conformity to his will. This intimate union of\nhis will with God\u2019s, the object and end of all his actions, was indeed\none of his singular graces, as it is the sum of all perfection. He writ\nthus to one concerning the Countess of _Chatres_, with whom he had the\nstrictest friendship; \u201cI must own, that during my absence from her,\nmy heart was tenderly sensible of her pain. But my desire submits to\nthe will of God, and when that is signified, he gives me grace to obey.\nI was not at _Paris_, but at _Citry_, when she departed; I was sent\nfor post but came two hours too late. Entering the town, I soon heard\nthe news of her death. Presently I fixt myself to the will of God;\nwhereupon I found no more alteration in my soul, than if she had been\nalive. I see his order in this, that I assisted her not at her death,\nand doubt not but he permitted it for her advantage.\u201d\n\n8. Another time he writ thus: \u201cI have these three weeks had a fever,\nwith a defluxion, and an extreme weakness. My frame of mind during this\ncondition, has been a simple adherence to the will of God. I have a\nheart willing and ready to receive any afflictions that can befall me.\nI desire whatever is decreed from above, and beg it with all my heart.\u201d\n\n9. In the year 1641, one of his children, whom he tenderly loved died.\nWhen the news was brought him, he spoke not one word, nor, shewed the\nleast sign of disturbance: his affection to the child yielding to his\nabsolute conformity with the will of God.\n\n10. At the end of the year 1643, his lady fell desperately sick, so\nthat she was given over by her physicians, and left speechless and\nwithout sense. This affected him in the most sensible manner; and he\nbroke out into these words:\n\n\u201cI cannot deny but my nature is deeply affected with the sense of so\ngreat a loss. Yet my spirit is filled with so wonderful a joy, to see\nmyself in such a state, as to give up, and sacrifice to my God, a thing\nso dear to me, that if decency did not forbid it, I would give some\nopen testimony of my readiness thereto.\u201d Hereby he evidenced the will\nof God to be so absolutely his, that he not only willed whatever God\nwilled, but also willed it as God doth, with pleasure and satisfaction.\nBut it pleased God to restore his lady to her health, with respect (as\nwe may believe) to the carriage of his faithful servant.\n\n11. From this perfect subordination to the will of God, sprung his\nadmirable tranquillity. From this fountain flowed those rivers of peace\nwhich he possessed in so great perfection, that on the most sudden\nsurprisals, his spirit was not altered, nor put into any disorder. So\nthat he could say from the abundance of his heart, \u201cI comprehend not\nthat thing you call mortification. He who finds no resistance in his\nspirit to any thing, is not capable of it. Whoso willeth whatsoever God\nwilleth, is pleased, whatsoever happens.\u201d\n\n12. With this Love of God was joined so deep a reverence of him, as\noften cast him into trembling. And this unspeakable respect unto God\u2019s\ngreatness caused him often to walk in the fields bare-headed, even\nin rain, or the heat of the sun: and being asked by a friend, what\nit was that kept him in that constant awe, and how he attained that\nwonderful reverence he bore to God at all times, in all places, in all\nemployments, he answered, \u201cThe sight of his glorious majesty, which\ncontinually seems present by me, keeps me in exceeding awe, with a deep\nsense of his greatness and my own vileness. A mote in the sun is little,\nbut I am far less in the \u2666presence of God.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cprescence\u201d replaced with \u201cpresence\u201d\n\n*13. And sure it is, that this deep sense of his own vileness, before\nthe majesty of God, well becomes not only the greatest of sinners,\nbut the holiest of men upon earth. He that from a valley beholds the\nsun when it rises, and appears on the point of a high mountain, may\nthink him that stands above to be near it, and almost able to reach it\nwith his hand. But the same man notwithstanding beholds it at a vast\ndistance above his head. And though in reality, he is nearer than the\nother that stands in the valley, yet the proportion is so small as\nscarce deserves to be named, in respect to the total distance.\n\n14. This reverence of God occasioned in him a great reverence likewise\nto whatsoever was devoted to him: as first to all holy places; at his\nentrance into a church, his demeanor was highly modest and serious.\nHe never sat down there. He would remain in it as long as possibly he\ncould; sometimes seven or eight hours together. If any person spoke to\nhim in church, his answer was short; if a longer was required, he went\nout and gave it.\n\n15. He had great respect, secondly, to holy persons, especially to\npriests, whom he highly honoured for their work sake. Whenever he met\nthem, he saluted them with profound humility, and in his travels would\nalight off his horse to do it. When they visited him, he entertained\nthem with great respect; at their going, waiting on them to the gate:\nAnd if any dined at his table, he gave them the upper hand, which\ncivility he observed to his own chaplain.\n\n16. And as he had this reverence for them, so had he an earnest desire,\nthat they might live according to the dignity of their calling. When he\nsaw any that did not, he profest his heart melted into sorrow for them,\nand that he prostrated himself before our Saviour, and begged with\ntears some apostolical spirits. He often said, \u201cGive us, O Lord, our\npoor fishermen, men, simple in appearance, and vile in the eyes of men;\nbut great and holy within, and fit to convert souls by their sanctity,\nprayers, and restless labours!\u201d And herein I discover a great mistake\nordinary in the world, that outward greatness and pomp is the way to\nkeep up men\u2019s credit, and make them more capable of doing good to their\nneighbours. O, no! It is grace that hath power upon the souls, and an\nholy and humble life that gaineth hearts!\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VIII.\n\n _His Love of man._\n\n\n SECTION I.\n\n _Of his love to man in general._\n\n1. THE grand exercise of M. _de Renty_, was to apply and unite himself\nto our Saviour, and from that union and example to derive all his\nvirtues and good works. To mould himself after him was his general\ncourse, both in his inward tempers and outward behaviour. He never\ntook his eye off of this divine copy, but endeavoured to draw every\nline exactly, to pencil his true likeness, and make him his native and\nperfect original.\n\n2. This was the scope of all his designs and cares, and particularly\nthat of his charity to his neighbour; for which he propounded our\nSaviour as his grand exemplar, weighing the affection he shewed for\nmen; marking what _he_ had done, and what _he_ had suffered for them,\nhow _he_ sought after, and conversed with them; how _he_ instructed,\ncomforted, and encouraged them, sometimes reproving, sometimes bearing\nwith their infirmities; at all times carrying them in his bosom, yea,\nin the most intimate inclosure of his heart.\n\n3. He well weighed what Christ had delivered concerning this virtue:\nthat he had established it as the perfection of his law; that he had\ntermed this command peculiarly his own; that he had expressly and\nsolemnly bequeathed it to his followers, and enforced the execution of\nit upon them by all the strongest and most endearing ties; that he had\nmade this virtue the distinctive character of those who were in reality\nhis disciples; and that he had charged us to love our neighbour,\naccording to the model, measure, and fashion that he had loved us. And\naccordingly he determined, as far as he could, to love his neighbour\nwith the bent and spirit of his master. \u201cI sigh (said he) after my\nSaviour Jesus, desiring to imitate and follow him whither he pleaseth.\nI beseech you, by your prayers, obtain for me his spirit, to be my life,\nmy whole life. Sigh and groan for me after my God, that I may be wholly\nfor him, in his Son, that I may follow him, and not live but by his\nSpirit.\u201d\n\n4. Agreeably to this he endeavoured, in all the commerce he had with\nmen, to unite himself most intimately to our Saviour, giving himself\nup as an instrument to be guided by his hand in the helping of others,\nbeseeching him to breathe upon him his spirit of love, recommended\nso much in his word, but more in his actions, and to inflame him with\nthis sacred fire which he hath kindled in his church, that he might be\nwholly consumed with it. He consulted him in all his doubts concerning\nit, begging him to inspire what, and how, and when, he should speak and\nact for the good of his neighbour; and that in him and by him it might\nall be done.\n\n*5. He looked upon men not according to their natural qualities,\ntheir beauty, nobility, riches, or worldly distinctions, but according\nto their more noble relations, and those common to all, _viz._ As\ncreatures divine, the lively images of God, formed to praise and love\nhim to all eternity; as purpled in the blood of Jesus, brothers and\nco-heirs with him, his inheritance bought with the price of his life,\nand a thousand pangs, and who therefore must be infinitely dear unto\nhim, and most tenderly beloved of him.\n\n*In this capacity it was that he beheld men, and applied to their\nnecessities. And hereby as he was highly useful to his neighbour, so he\ndid not prejudice but greatly advantage himself. He looked upon God and\nChrist in every man. He considered, it was they that demanded succour\nof him. And while he was performing with all his might whatever was\nnecessary for the soul and body of the least of his brethren believed\nverily it was God and Christ to whom he rendered that assistance.\nAnd the same thought should all make use of, who would benefit their\nneighbour, without prejudice to themselves, otherwise, a man shall\nsooner lose his own soul, than lead another to God.\n\n7. The charity of this man of God, built on these foundations, was so\nenlarged, that it seemed to have no bounds; in that he loved not only\nall Christians, but all men, without excepting any. _Thy commandment_,\nsays _David_, _is exceeding broad_; the same dimensions had his charity;\nembracing the present and absent, domestics and strangers, friends\nand enemies, good and bad; esteeming all according to their degree,\nspeaking (as he could) well of all, doing good to all, and ill to none.\n\n8. There was not any considerable good work of a public nature, done at\n_Paris_, or within a great distance of it, wherein he had not a great\nshare. There was no undertaking there, tending to the honour of God\nor good of men, of which he was not either the author, or promoter,\nor finisher, and very often all these together. He was one at all the\nmeetings of piety; and of many the very soul. He kept correspondence\nthroughout the whole kingdom, concerning works of charity, receiving\nletters from all parts, desiring his advice in all difficulties that\noccurred, in the erecting or perfecting hospitals, seminaries of\nreligion, and fraternities of virtuous persons, associating together\nfor the better applying themselves to their own and others salvation,\nand the managing all sorts of good works.\n\n9. From _Caen_ one writes of him thus: \u201cM. _de Renty_ was our support\nand refuge in the execution of all our designs, relating to the service\nof God, the saving of souls, and the relief of the poor and distressed.\nTo him we continually wrote, and from him we received counsel and\nsuccour on all occasions. Nor have we met with any since his death to\nwhom we could have the like recourse in the things of God.\u201d Another\nfrom _Dijon_ writes thus: \u201cWe cannot but acknowledge the great benefit\nthis province has received from M. _de Renty_. Wherever he came he hath\nwonderfully advanced all works of piety. We may truly say, that his\ndays were filled with the fulness of God. Nor do we believe he lost one\nminute of time, in which he did not either speak or act something for\nhis service.\u201d\n\n10. He applied himself to the necessities of the _English_, the _Irish_,\nthe captives in _Barbary_, and of the missions into the _Levant_; took\ngreat pains for the support of the hospital at _Marseilles_; laboured\nmuch for the relief of galley-slaves, and contributed much to the\nadvancing the affairs of _New France_ in _America_. He had a design\nlikewise to purge all trades and manufactures from the corruptions\nwhich had grown upon them, so that men might live upon them like\nChristians; which thing he begun and perfected in two of them.\n\n11. The scripture he most studied, next the life of our blessed Saviour,\nto qualify himself for all good works, was St. _Paul_\u2019s description of\ncharity, in the 13th chapter of his first epistle to the _Corinthians_.\nAnd whosoever is exercised in the virtues there described, will not run\nin vain, nor labour in vain. *Indeed the more any one is animated with\nthis spirit, the more shall he advance holiness in others. Yea, though\nhis words be few and ordinary. For our words do not derive their force\nfrom the mouth that speaks, but from the disposition of the heart, and\nthe power of the spirit that dwells there.\n\n12. To qualify himself to be more extensively useful to his neighbour\nM. _de Renty_, to the natural abilities God had given him, and to\nthe learning he had acquired in his youth, had by his industry added\nseveral smaller parts of knowledge: and that not only for his own use,\nbut to teach them to others, whereby to help themselves. Yea, he abased\nhimself to learn the meanest skill, which might be any way useful\nto his neighbour. One day in _Paris_ he carried a friend with him\nto a poor man, who got his living by making wicker-baskets. He there\nfinished a basket which he had begun some days before, with design as\nsoon as he had learned it, to teach some poor people in the country to\nmake them, to help to get their living. He then left the basket with\nthe poor man, and a piece of money for teaching him.\n\n13. Indeed he took upon him all shapes, transformed himself into all\nfigures, condescended to all things for the good of his neighbour:\nall his thoughts, words and actions, being wholly cast in the mould of\ncharity: *Which made him say one day, \u201cMethinks my soul is all charity,\nand I am not able to express with what ardour and strange expansion my\nheart is renewed in the divine life of my Saviour, burning in love to\nall mankind.\u201d\n\n\n SECTION II.\n\n _His charity to the poor._\n\n*1. WITH regard to the poor, M. _de Renty_\u2019s thoughts stayed not on\ntheir habit or outward appearance; but passing further, he beheld under\nthese, with the eye of faith, Jesus Christ present and dwelling in them.\nAnd as he burned with an ardent affection to our Lord, so he loved\nthem tenderly, succoured them with all his might, and left nothing\nunattempted for their sakes. And with these eyes, not those of nature,\nmust every one behold the poor, that will love them indeed, and have\nbowels of compassion for them.\n\n2. From the year 1641, he invited to dinner two poor men twice a week,\non _Tuesdays_ and _Fridays_. But increase of business obliged him five\nor six years after to reduce it to one day, commonly _Thursday_; when\nhe invited three; and willing to join spiritual alms to corporal, he\nsought out such as seemed most to need instruction. To this end, while\nat _Paris_, after his morning devotions, he went to St. _Anthony_\u2019s\ngate, and took such as were newly arrived, whom courteously saluting,\nhe brought home (in winter to the fire) made them sit down, and with\na cordial affection, which appeared in his whole behaviour, instructed\nthem in the chief points of Christianity. While they sat at table, he\nserved them himself, setting before them with his own hands the dishes\nbrought in by his servants and children. After dinner, he waited on\nthem himself to the gate, and dismissed them with an alms. This he\ncontinued to his death, and when he could not do it in person, his lady\ndid the same to so many poor women.\n\n3. Besides many other charities at his own house, he endeavoured the\ngeneral relief of all the poor in _Paris_, and the parts adjacent;\nbusied himself to understand their wants, studied ways of redress,\nand carefully pursued them. What he could not accomplish himself,\nhe commended to others, spake for them, begged for them, bought\nnecessaries for them; laboured to establish settled courses of living\nfor men and children that were destitute, and when he could not at\npresent provide for them abroad, maintained them at his own house till\nhe could.\n\n4. He was the first that motioned some relief for the poor _English_,\ndriven by persecution out their own country. He engaged persons of\nquality in the purchasing of lands for their subsistence. When it was\ndone, himself undertook the charge of distributing one part of this\ncharity. This he performed, monthly, going to them a foot, and commonly\nalone entering their chamber, he saluted them with all tenderness and\nrespect, and gave them their allowance wrapt up in a paper.\n\n*5. In all his visits to the poor, after a general survey of their\nwants, he examined in particular as well their spiritual as bodily\nnecessities; and endeavoured in the first place to mark their\ninclinations, their passions, their ill habits; what vices were\npredominant in them, and what were their chief infirmities: that like\na prudent physician he might apply fit remedies, and teach them how to\nmake the true use of their poverty.\n\n6. As to their temporal necessities, he considered the capacity,\nindustry, trade or employment of each: for tradesmen, he considered\nwhat tools or materials were necessary to set them to work. These he\nprovided, either redeeming their own, or buying new. He then gave them\nprovisions for two or three days, and provided them work not only for\nthemselves, but also for their wives and children. Afterwards he bought\nsome of their work, which he bestowed in alms upon others, and took\norders for the quick sale of the rest, coming to them from time \u2666to\ntime to see if all went well, and encourage them to take pains.\n\n \u2666 supplied missing word \u201cto\u201d\n\n7. To these we may add, his charity to poor prisoners, whom he visited,\ncomforted, and relieved, and when he found it expedient for them,\n(which he always first considered) used all means for their enlargement.\n\n8. There was in _Low-Normandy_, one who had been a prisoner for several\nyears, and tho\u2019 innocent, was in great extremity. Many had endeavoured\nhis release but without success, because of a powerful adversary. The\nthing being commended to M. _de Renty_, after a just information of the\ncase, he committed the prosecution of it to his own advocate, made a\nreport of it to the council, and went frequently in person to sollicit\nit.\n\n9. But notwithstanding, perceiving the poor man\u2019s cause to hang long,\nhe changed his purpose, and writ to his adversary, offering, if the\nbusiness might be referred to him, to take a journey into _Normandy_\nimmediately. When he came to the town, he went directly to the prison,\nand after an exhortation to the prisoners, seconded by his alms, he\ntold the poor man his design, and exhorted him to pray to God for a\nblessing on his endeavours, and to rest in hope that by some means or\nother he should shortly be delivered.\n\n10. He then went to the other\u2019s house; whence he returned to the prison\nfor information on some difficulties that occurred. Finding all the\nprisoners together at their usual devotions, he waited till they had\ndone. Having then received information, he went back to the other, with\nwhom he came to such an agreement, that this poor man, after a world of\nmisery, during nine years imprisonment, was at length set at liberty.\nHe maintained him eight days at his own house, advising and exhorting\nhim every evening: and at his departure persuaded him to go and see\nhis (former) adversary; whom he now found as tractable and friendly, as\nbefore he had been severe.\n\n\n SECTION III.\n\n _His charity to the sick._\n\n1. IF his charity to the poor was thus great, it was still greater to\nsuch poor as were sick. He was not content to assist these in one or\ntwo ways; but they found in him, and often in one visit, a benefactor,\na physician, apothecary, surgeon, a pastor, friend and servant.\n\n2. In the year 1641, he learned to let blood, and several parts of\nsurgery. He acquainted himself likewise with the manner of making up\nmost sorts of medicines; and he consulted with a physician, by whom he\nwas instructed in the principal parts of the art of physic. Whenever he\nwent abroad, he had with him a surgeon\u2019s box, and powders for the cure\nof most ordinary diseases; which he used with great dexterity, and with\nequal prudence, never advancing beyond his knowledge.\n\n3. In his visits to the sick, he never \u2666shunned any service necessary\nfor them, and in his power to perform; as making their beds, helping\nthem to bed, making their fire, setting in order their little\nhoushold-stuff; hoping thereby to win upon their affections, and draw\nthem to God with more facility.\n\n \u2666 \u201cshuned\u201d replaced with \u201cshunned\u201d\n\n4. In every family he took an opportunity to enquire whether God was\nserved there? And whether any quarrels or differences were among them,\nwhich he took care to make up without delay. And he never left any\nwithout providing for all their necessities, which he took notice of\nwith incredible diligence, sweetness, and respect; dispensing with\nother business, that he might have time to hear all their complaints.\n\n5. Neither did he only visit the sick, but they also sought him, and\nwould find him out wheresoever he came, if they were able to go abroad.\nThe sick, the weak, the lame, or otherwise infirm, flocked to him\nfrom all quarters: he might often be seen encompassed with them; some\nrequesting his medicines, some his alms, some his counsel. He treated\nall, as a true disciple of his great master, with the like diffusive\ncharity; and stood in the midst of them with the like goodness and\npatience, endeavouring to do good, and to minister comfort to all.\n\n6. Nor did his charity decline the care of those diseases which nature\ncannot behold without horror and aversion. During his stay at _Dijon_,\nhe was informed of one, who having been among a company of soldiers,\nwas left by them in so noisome a condition, that none would come near\nher, and the person where she lodged was going to turn her out of doors.\nHe went instantly to the house, perswaded them to keep her there, and\nhired a woman to attend her. Then he provided her proper physic and\nnourishment, which he brought her with his own hands: in the mean time,\nreading to her every day, instructing and comforting her. By this means\nhe at length not only retrieved her from the jaws of death, but induced\nher to spend the rest of her life in a virtuous and Christian manner.\n\n\n SECTION IV.\n\n _His zeal for the salvation of his neighbour._\n\n1. M. _de Renty_ being continually inflamed with the love of God,\nincessantly sought always, and used all means to make him more known\nand loved by all men, both here and eternally. And this his zeal had\nno bounds; it extended not only to all _France_, but to all the world;\ninsomuch that he said to an intimate friend, \u201cI am ready to serve\nall men, not excepting one, and to lay down my life for any one.\u201d He\nearnestly desired to enlighten with the knowledge of God, and inflame\nwith his love, the whole world; of which _Paris_ being as it were an\nepitome, he went through all the quarters and streets of that vast city,\nsearching out what he could remove or bring in, for the glory of God,\nand salvation of souls. And the same spirit which moved him hereto,\nblest his endeavours to rectify what was amiss, and to strengthen what\nwas right. *This he did in so many several ways, as a man would think\nit impossible: but what cannot a man do that is zealous, disinterested,\nand full of God?\n\n2. He performed what possibly he could in his own person, not sparing\nany pains, nor losing one moment: and where his power fell short,\nhe engaged others: and in all places he laboured, as much as in him\nlay, to induce such as desired to follow Christ, to join together, and\nassist one another in working out both their own and their neighbour\u2019s\nsalvation. Many such societies he established at _Caen_, at \u2666_Amiens_,\nat _Dijon_, and in several parts of _Burgundy_; whose endeavours being\nanimated by a true zeal for God, were blessed with unexpected success.\n\n \u2666 \u201cAmines\u201d replaced with \u201cAmiens\u201d\n\n3. To arm one who was thus engaged, against the difficulties he met\nwith, he writ to him thus:\n\n\u201cI am very sensible of the present storms that you endure; though there\nis no reason why men should alarm you thus, seeing they have no cause\nof reproach from your design, nor have you done any thing against\nthe gospel: yet I do not wonder at these crosses. \u2019Tis sufficient to\nknow that you desire to follow Jesus Christ: therefore you must reckon\ncontradiction to be your portion in these days of your flesh. Only be\nfirm in your confidence in our Lord, suffering none of these storms\nto trouble you, or to obscure that light which hath moved you to, and\nguarded you in this business. God deliver you from the reasonings of\nflesh and blood, which at such times are apt to multiply upon us: be\nassured, that if you hearken not to them, God will manifest himself\nunto you; he will comfort and fortify you in faith, and in experience\nof the gift of his holy Spirit.\u201d\n\n4. To another he writ thus: \u201cBlessed for ever be the Holy Jesus, for\nthe good beginning of those you mention. If the other had a little\nmore courage to break her fetters, it would be a great step: and surely\nthere needs not so much deliberation to give up ourselves to him,\nalthough he be to the _Jews_ a stumbling-block, and to the _Greeks_\nfoolishness. Not that God hath any need of our good parts or excellent\nqualities, who commonly confounds the wisdom of the wise, by little\nthings which he chuseth. Blessed be that littleness which is accounted\nweakness, and yet overthroweth all the power and prudence of the world.\u201d\n\n*5. We mentioned before his endeavour to reform trades from the abuses\nand corruptions which, in process of time, they had contracted, and to\nsanctify them, that some at least in each might live like the primitive\nChristians, in common; deducting from their flock only their necessary\nmaintenance, and bestowing the rest on the poor. And, at length, he\nin part effected it; so that there are now two companies in _Paris_,\none of taylors, the other of shoemakers, and of these in several\nquarters of the city, (and the like there are at _Thoulouse_) who live\nin community; rising, eating, working and praying together morning\nand evening: calling each other brothers, and living together in the\nstrictest unity and concord.\n\n6. Passing one day by the hospital of St. _Gervase_, and hearing it\nwas devoted to the lodging of poor travellers, he desired leave of the\nsuperior to instruct them, in the evening when they \u2666were met together.\nAnd this he did from that time, every night, coming thither on foot,\nand commonly alone, summer and winter. After instructing them, he\njoined with them in prayer, which he concluded with his alms. And this\nhe continued many years, till some Churchmen, moved by his example,\nundertook that work, which they continue to this day.\n\n \u2666 \u201cwhere\u201d replaced with \u201cwere\u201d\n\n*7. His tenderness of heart to these poor people was exceeding great,\njoined with such humility as cannot easily be expressed. When he met\nany one at the hospital, he saluted him with great respect, put him\nbefore him, and talked with him bare-headed. If any kneeled to him, he\ndid the like to them, and continued on his knees till they rose first.\nOne of them observing him diligently, and knowing him to be the Lord\nof the place where he himself lived, was deeply affected at the sight,\nand came and fell at his feet: M. _de Renty_ did the like to him, and\ncontinued in that posture a long time, resolving not to rise before the\npoor man.\n\n*8. Going one day to visit the holy place of _Monmatre_, after his\nprayers said in the church, he retired into a desolate part of the\nmountain, near a little spring. There he kneeled down to prayer, and\nthat ended, dined on a piece of bread and a draught of water. After\ndinner he took out his testament, and read a chapter on his knees,\nbare-headed, with extraordinary reverence. Just then came a poor man,\nsaying his prayers. M. _de Renty_ rose up to salute him, and fell into\na discourse with him concerning God, and that so powerfully, that the\npoor man striking his breast, fell down upon the ground to adore that\ngreat God. Immediately after, came a poor maid to draw water at the\nwell, whom he asked, What she was? She answered, a servant, \u201cBut do you\nknow, said he, you are a Christian, and to what end you was created?\u201d\nWhence he took occasion so to instruct her, that confessing she had\nnever before thought of the end of her creation, she promised from\nthenceforth deeply to consider, and seriously to pursue it.\n\n9. In his first return from _Dijon_, he stopped three or four times in\nthe way, to instruct the poor passengers; and once went out of the road,\nto shew some labourers in the field, how to sanctify the work they were\nabout.\n\n10. A young maid in _Paris_, having been very cruelly used by her uncle,\nfell into such a disorder, that in a fury she accused our Saviour as\nthe cause of her misery, for abandoning her to such a man. In this\nhorrible condition, she received the sacrament several times in a day;\non purpose to do despight to our Saviour, and provoke him to finish\nher destruction. M. _de Renty_ was no sooner informed of this, than he\nhasted to find her out; as he did, after eight days search, in the very\nact of communicating. He immediately conveyed her thence, and took so\ngreat care both of her soul and body, that she returned to herself, and\ngave ample testimonies of her repentance.\n\n11. As the design of advancing the salvation of men, is attended with\nmuch doing and much suffering, it is necessary for him that undertakes\nit, to fortify himself with courage and patience; and both these were\nmost eminently in M. _de Renty_, being, in the first place, full of\ncourage, resolute, and laborious; employing his body as if he had two\nmore in reserve when that was spent; dispatching more business in one\nhalf-hour, than others did in many days. Very bold he was in entering\nupon difficulties, and quick in extricating himself from them.\n\n12. A lady who had left much to pious uses, made him her executor.\nBeing informed, her friends, men of eminent power, were much displeased,\nhe replied, \u201cI never moved her to bestow any of her estate this way;\nbut since her piety has prompted her to it, I shall not be dismayed\nwith any power that shall oppose it: my care is to perform her will,\nand for other things I take no thought.\u201d\n\n13. Seeing one day some gentlemen fighting, he threw himself between\ntheir swords, laying hold on those who seemed most outrageous. At first\nthey quarrelled with him; but in a short time were friends, both with\nhim, and with one another.\n\n*14. His zeal was accompanied, secondly, with unparalleled patience;\na virtue highly requisite for him that would save the souls of men;\nseeing he must endeavour to win their hearts, at which he is to\nmake his first entrance; not following his own will or inclinations,\nbut theirs; becoming all things to all men; waiting long for their\nconversion, and attending (without being tired and discouraged, though\nby all his labour he should gain but little ground) the favourable\nmoments wherein they may yield to his motives. He must, like this holy\nman, not only be willing to endure hunger, thirst, heat, cold, wet,\nweariness and other outward pains, inseparably attendant on employments\nof this nature; but also the importunities, complaints, passions,\nthe repulses, the contempts and injuries that are continually to be\nexpected in them.\n\n15. While he was employed in instructing the poor travellers in the\nhospital of St. _Gervase_, a man who was settled there, looking upon\nit as an intrusion into his office, came to him, as he was in the midst\nof the poor, and with many injurious and reproachful words, forbad him\nto come any more. M. _de Renty_ having heard him without any emotion,\nreplied, \u201cThe poor people had much need of instruction; and since he\nwould not be at the pains of it himself, he prayed him not to hinder\none that would.\u201d This did not satisfy him at all, but he came four days\ntogether to drive out M. _de Renty_, interrupting him as soon as he\nbegan; but he still received him with the same spirit, and at length\novercame evil with good.\n\n16. One day he visited a person who, from a groundless suspicion, had\ncruelly used his wife; who understanding his business, entertained him\nvery coarsely, giving him much opprobrious language, lifting up his\nhand to strike him, and offering to thrust him out of doors. M. _de\nRenty_ replied not one word, but after some time, drew near again,\nembraced him, and accosted him with such soft language, that he was\nperswaded, at length, to go to confession, which he had not done in\ntwelve years before, and to be fully reconciled to his wife; insomuch\nthat he lived and died a good Christian.\n\n17. Another time, visiting a poor, old man that was sick, he began,\nas usual, to speak of spiritual things. But the old man, instead\nof listning, fell into a passion, telling him, he understood those\nthings better than he. M. _de Renty_ told him, he would be glad to be\ninstructed; and after a great deal of patience, and attention, taking\nadvantage from some things in that weak discourse, to convince and\ninform him better, he proceeded so happily, that the rest of his days\nhe led a truly Christian life.\n\n18. His patience in bearing with the faults and imperfections of others,\nas it was truly exemplary, so it never took away, or weakened his\ndesire to correct them, for which he only waited a proper occasion.\nWhen he intended to reprove another, he commonly first accused himself,\nto prepare them by his example. Having such an intention, he began\na discourse of that openness with which Christians ought to tell one\nanother the truth; for want of which we grow grey in our vices, and\noften carry them with us to our graves; saying, \u201cHe should hold himself\n\u2666extremely obliged to any who would shew him that kindness. His friend\nfinding his heart exceedingly softened, besought him to deal freely and\nplainly with him, in telling him whatsoever he saw amiss in him; which\nthing then he did.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cextreamly\u201d replaced with \u201cextremely\u201d\n\n*19. But his patience did not in the least break in upon that fortitude,\nwhich is often requisite in the things of God, for the good of our\nneighbour, and for the worthy preserving of our just authority. He\nknew severity must be used sometimes, especially when we have to do\nwith stubborn offenders; and accordingly advised a friend, concerning\na third person, \u201cTake heed of humbling yourself before that man; the\nabasing yourself in this case, would both prejudice him, and the cause\nof God. Reprove him severely and roundly.\u201d\n\n20. And not in these instances only, but in all others, his zeal was\naccompanied both with freedom and prudence. For though his humility\nhas concealed many of his inward graces and outward actions, yet many\nlikewise has his zeal brought to light, where he judged it necessary\nfor the glory of God, or the good of his neighbour: concerning which he\nthus wrote to a virtuous lady:\n\n\u201cGive me leave to speak my thoughts of that liberty we ought to use, in\ncommunicating freely the gifts of God bestowed upon us, to such persons\nas may reap fruit from them; not stifling them in ourselves, whereby we\nobstruct a second fruit, which God expects from his graces. *We should\nconsider ourselves set in the world as a chrystal, which, placed in\nthe middle of the universe, would give free passage to all the light\nwhich it receives from above: so ought we to impart all the talents we\nreceive, and this without disguise, or the least claim of propriety.\n\n*\u201cFarther: as the chrystal, if several torches were set under it, would\ntransmit the beams of them all towards heaven: so whatever honours\nor commendations we receive from below, should freely pass through us\nup to God; for God hath therefore bestowed upon us such things as are\npraise-worthy, not that the praise thereof should rest upon us, but\nthat it may pass through us to him, that he may \u2666be blessed and praised\nin all things.\u201d\n\n \u2666 inserted skipped word \u201cbe\u201d\n\n21. Yet his zeal, though free, was not so indiscreet, as to be its own\nherald upon every appearance of doing good; but was very circumspect in\nweighing all circumstances. Accordingly, in the same letter, he gives\nthis wise advice, touching the order and measure which are necessary\nto be observed in this communication.\n\n\u201cTo some, we must lay open our hearts freely and exactly; to others\nmore reservedly; to others we should be altogether locked up,\nconcealing from them what we see no disposition in them to make a\ngood use of.\u201d\n\n*22. Zeal indeed should be always attended with prudence, to consider\nthings well, and execute them in the best manner; to prevent mischiefs,\nor redress them with as much of sweetness, and as little acrimony as\npossible: and in desperate cases, or where the cure would prove worse\nthan the disease, to suffer and pass them over; some souls having\ndefects, as it were, incorrigible, which God permits to perfect them by\nhumility; and others likewise, that have an intercourse with them, by\npatience and charity.\n\n*23. One great point of prudence requisite in a zealous man, is,\nneither to hurt his body by too much labour, nor his mind with too\nmuch business. As to the latter of these, M. _de Renty_ took especial\ncare, so to manage all his works of charity, that his piety might\nnot be hindered but advanced thereby, indispensably performing all\nhis exercises of devotion; and while he conversed most with his\nneighbour, reserving a considerable part, both of the day and night,\nfor conversing with God. As to the other, he thus expressed himself to\na clergyman, who had impaired his health by extreme labour:\n\n\u201cGive me leave, Sir, to tell you plainly, that you should not impose\ntoo much upon yourself, lest for want of moderation, you render\nyourself altogether unserviceable. The enemy usually takes no small\nadvantage of such free and well-disposed natures; you are not your own,\nbut a debtor to all men. Preserve yourself therefore, not by indulging\nyour body, but by laying upon it no more than it is able to bear.\u201d\n\n24. Being at _Citry_, in the latter end of the year 1642, he had a\nstrong impression upon his spirit, that at his return to _Paris_,\nhe should find a new employment about the poor, and be much taken up\ntherein. Accordingly, two days after his return thither, some persons\ncame to advise with him, about a course of relieving all such poor\nin the city, as were ashamed to beg. He undertook to visit a fourth\npart of them, and to assist them according to their necessities. An\nemployment sufficient to take up the whole time of one man, which yet\nhe performed, notwithstanding the multitude of his other occupations;\nso that we must say, without a special assistance, he could not have\ndone and suffered what he did; but God, who hath limited our strength\nof body, can increase it when and how he pleaseth.\n\n25. Sometimes he received before-hand only a present impulse of\nsomething to be done, without any particular discovery. As when he was\nmuch pressed in spirit to go to _Pontois_, without understanding any\nreason for it; yet, believing it to be the call of God, he immediately\nundertook the journey; where unexpectedly he met with a nobleman of\ngreat quality, who was come from a province far distant, on purpose to\nbe instructed by M. _de Renty_, how to serve God, which he had, till\nthen, little known, and less practised.\n\n26. But though this great servant of God had an excellent faculty of\nassisting all, yet was he more eminently assistant to some particular\npersons, for the healing their souls, and leading them on apace in\nthe narrow way of perfection. I shall mention one only, the Countess\nof _Chatres_, who being deep in the affections of the world, as are\nmost young ladies of her quality, it pleased God to inspire her with a\ndesire to ask advice of M. _de Renty_; this he gave her with so happy\nsuccess, that he himself was astonished at it. In less than a year,\nshe was so perfectly disengaged from all those little conveniences and\naccommodations, which our ladies perswade themselves are absolutely\nnecessary, that one offering her something of this kind, which she was\nformerly fond of, she answered, \u201cI thank God, I have quitted this, and\nmany more things, for the love of God, and yet find no want at all.\u201d\n\n27. God gave him light to discern her proper way, how to renounce\nherself, and advance in the paths of solid virtue, and to support her\nin great inward afflictions. And she, on her part, resigned up herself\nto his guidance, and forced herself to put his advice in execution:\na thing very requisite in those who would make use of the conduct of\nothers to good purpose.\n\n*28. Though this happy intercourse, accompanied with such signal\nblessings, had contracted a strict and perfect friendship between\nthem, yet he was very wary and reserved in his conversation with\nher; visiting her only when the work of God required it, and neither\nspeaking nor staying with her any longer than was precisely necessary.\nThis she thought a little harsh, and complained of it to a friend, whom\nshe knew to have some power with him, saying, \u201cM. _de Renty_ extremely\nmortifies me with his civilities and reservedness. I have great need\nto see him often, and yet cannot obtain it. Nay, when we are together,\nhe will not sit down, except when I am sick, or not able to stand any\nlonger; and always with his hat in his hand. I beg you to tell him,\nwhat out of respect I dare not, what inquietude I suffer, to see his\nbehaviour such toward me, who ought to be continually under his feet.\u201d\n\nThe person acquainting him with this, he answered, \u201cI proceed in this\nmanner because my duty to God and to the Countess of _Chatres_ require\nit. My Saviour obliges me to converse with her; but I must do no\nmore than what is necessary, and so retire, for which this posture is\nmost convenient. If we sat down, we should forget ourselves, and talk\nmore than is necessary, and perhaps pass on to things unprofitable:\ntherefore we ought both to stand upon our guard.\u201d\n\n29. Those who undertake the conduct of souls, ought seriously to\nconsider this answer; and to be fully persuaded, that the business does\nnot consist in speaking much to them, but in disposing them to speak to\nGod, and in making them fit for God to speak to them.\n\n30. In the year 1647, having visited one afflicted with great pains, he\nthus writ to his director:\n\n\u201cI have been with the person you know of, and have told her what I\nthought suitable to her condition. I acquainted her how we ought to\nlay this sure foundation, that we are nothing but weakness and misery\nitself; and that God from this insufficiency of ourselves to all good,\nmeans to extract humility and diffidence of ourselves, obliging us\nthereby to fly to his Son, to find strength in Him, and a remedy for\nall our miseries.\n\n\u201cAs concerning myself, I have not much to say. Only I find within\nmyself, by the mercy of God, a great tranquility in his presence,\nthrough the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and such an inward experience of\neternal life, as I am not able to express. Yet I find myself, so naked\nand barren that I wonder at the condition I am in, and by which I\ndiscourse. In my converse with this person, I begun my speech, not\nknowing how to pursue it. After the second sentence I had not the least\nforesight of what should be the third; and so of the rest. Not but\nthat I seem to have a perfect knowledge of the things I speak, in such\na manner as I am capable of it. But I only utter what is given me, and\nin the same way as it is communicated, I communicate it to others.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IX.\n\n _His outward behaviour, and conduct of business._\n\n\n1. M. _de Renty_ being sensible, that even our outward behaviour is\nof great consequence in the service of our neighbour, being that which\nmakes the first impression upon them, did whatever he could for the\nwell composing his exterior, keeping his gestures, motions, looks, and\nall parts of his conversation in such a harmony, as he judged fitted to\ndraw his neighbour to God.\n\n*2. He was very modest, always calm and inviolably equal. \u201cAmong all\nthe things I observed in M. _de Renty_, (says one of his intimate\nfriends) what first affected me was, his rare modesty and great\nevenness of behaviour. There was something in his looks which carried\nso much reverence in it one might easily judge, he was always actually\nin the presence of God.\u201d\n\n3. In every condition or employment whatsoever, he was the same in his\nlooks, gestures, words and actions, whether alone or in company, with\nrich or poor, strangers or friends, before his children or servants,\nyea even before his footman, in the country or town, at the table, and\nevery where.\n\n4. And such a constant equality was the more observable, because of\nhis natural disposition, which was not slow, heavy and phlegmatick, but\ncholerick, hot and active. But the exact and perpetual care he had over\nhimself, had wholly inverted his nature, and brought him to a behaviour,\nas well as temper, directly opposite to those he took from his mother\u2019s\nwomb.\n\n5. Another of his friends writes of him thus: \u201cThat which pleased me\nmost in him was, His great recollection and intimate union with God:\nattended with such a wonderful peace of mind, as shone forth in his\ncountenance, and begot \u2666a kind of devotion in his beholders. This union,\nmethought, was ever the same, without any sign of distraction or levity,\nor any word not necessary, no complaisance or human regard ever forcing\nhim to scatter his spirit. Not but he was full of civility; but still\nso as to look more within himself than without.\u201d\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201ca\u201d removed\n\n6. And indeed this continual presence of God, so wholly took up his\nspirit, that no unusual accident or object, or any thing rare or\nextraordinary could divert him. I never saw him admire any thing in the\nworld, nor fix his \u2666eyes upon any curiosity whatever. And his gait in\nthe streets was so recollected, modest and equal, without gazing on any\nthing, that a man might see Jesus Christ was his way, his employment,\nand his all.\n\n \u2666 \u201ceys\u201d replaced with \u201ceyes\u201d\n\n7. In his speech he was very resolved, by choice as well as by nature.\nIn whatever company it concerned him to speak, he did so in his course,\nwith a composed demeanor, and words few, but material. He was never\nknown forward or eager to speak, or in speaking to do it with a higher\ntone than ordinary. If he gave an account of any business, he did it so\nbriefly, and in words so pertinent, that it was a very hard matter to\nfind one that spoke better, and yet less than he.\n\n8. Things that were unprofitable, or the news of the times, were never\nthe subject of his discourse: but always something pertaining to the\nkingdom of God. And when the conversation was diverted to worldly\nthings, he either took leave of the company or stole away without.\n\n9. And when he talked even of good things, it was with care and\nmoderation: saying, \u201cThere was much need of sparingness and sobriety,\nwhen we speak even of the things of God, lest it turn to no good\naccount: and that it was a great trouble to him, when among serious\npersons to hear them often spend precious time in talking of virtue\nat large, and to find them departing from such conferences, with dry,\nempty, and dissipated spirits.\u201d\n\n10. As to conduct of business, his method was, seriously to consider\nthings, before any resolution, and if after his own sense was given, he\nfound another\u2019s to be better he readily quitted his own. After he had\nresolved, he was prompt, firm, and constant in the execution of it. But\nsometimes, when he had gone through the difficulties of a design, he\nleft it to a friend to finish; not out of inconstancy, but to gain time\nfor undertaking more, as well as to avoid the honour of it.\n\n11. In all affairs that concerned the service of God, he had an\nimmoveable constancy. And besides the force of his words, there\nappeared in his face an extraordinary assurance, (though his ordinary\ndeportment was always sweet and quiet) which particularly appeared in\nall meetings, whereby he manifested such a spirit that those who beheld\nhim, felt themselves struck with awful regard. His proposals generally\ncarried so much light and force in them, that all were constrained to\nacquiesce in his determination. But if any disputed his reasons he knew\nhow to enforce them; and if they chanced to make another reply, (which\nwas a thing that exceeding rarely happened) he said not one word more,\nbut his very silence, and the steadiness of his countenance, restrained\nany further dispute. The meeting ended, he would go to that person and\nask his pardon; informing him, \u201cThat what he aimed at, was, not to make\ngood his opinion but to advance the cause of God; in all other things\nhe was ready to yield to every one.\u201d\n\n*12. But of all things he took care, not to overcharge himself\nwith business, to the prejudice of his piety. He knew that outward\nemployments, even the most holy, may be hindrances to inward holiness.\nWherefore he was careful not to overburden himself with them, and\nvery vigilant, that they should not distract and dissipate him, nor\nsecularize his soul, but serve only as means to elevate and unite him\nmore to God.\n\n*13. And God so blessed him therein, that in the multitude of business,\nhe was still in a continual recollection. A familiar friend asking him,\nWhether in that throng of employments, he observed his usual two hours\nof prayer; he answered, \u201cWhen I can, I keep three hours, sometimes four\nor five; but when occasion offers to serve my neighbour, I easily quit\nthem, for God of his mercy hath given me the grace, to be inseparably\nwith him, even in the crowd of business.\u201d To the same purpose he writ\nto his director; \u201cI continue my devotion out of the time and place\nof prayer, even in the midst of converse and business: and I tell\nyou sincerely, tho\u2019 I perform every thing so ill, yet I find little\ndifference of times for prayer, being recollected continually.\u201d And the\nsame might be gathered (as was observed before) from his modesty and\ncomposed countenance, clearly evidencing, that his soul was wholly and\nconstantly in application to God, from whom he drew light and strength,\nfor the conduct of all his business. Of which he thus wrote to his\ndirector; \u201cMy recollection hinders no business at all, but furthers\nit. Without it I should have a sollicitous desire of doing all myself:\nwhereas I now act in a most calm way, in which I have no share; for\nit is our Lord that doth all.\u201d In another letter thus; \u201cFinding myself\none day much burthened with variety of businesses, I had a desire to\ndraw off my mind wholly; and at the same instant it was done. Since\nthat time they create me no trouble, and I dispatch them more readily\nwithout thinking of them. This grace hath been often renewed in me,\n(although in several manners) which I acknowledge to be very great,\nbecause it preserves me disengaged, even in the multiplicity of\nbusiness.\u201d\n\n*14. If after he had done his part, any design miscarried, he rested\nwell satisfied. On such an occasion he thus writ to a friend; \u201cWe\nmay take up good designs, and God often inspires them; yet when he\nis pleased to permit a contrary event, we must adore his secret will,\nwhich brings more of mercy in the crossing of them, than if they had\nsucceeded. We should always be jealous over our spirit, that it fix not\nupon any thing.\u201d And again, \u201cOur Lord has his designs, which he effects\nby such means as we would not at all make choice of: The reason is,\nbecause he would break our wills, and abate our dependencies upon earth.\nTherefore he often crosses our best undertakings, being more jealous of\nthe sacrifice of our hearts, than any thing else, how specious so ever.\u201d\n\n15. I cannot better conclude this chapter, than with a letter writ to\nhis director on this subject:\n\n\u201cFor these three or four months I have been, as it were, continually\nemployed in outward works; as removing from place to place, new\nbuilding a church, taking care of the sick, reconciling differences,\nconferring with all sorts of people. Yesterday hearing those words of\nthe gospel read, \u2018Thou art troubled about many things,\u2019 it was said\nto my heart, \u2018Thou art not troubled about many things,\u2019 giving me to\nunderstand, that the things we are employed upon, according to the\nwill of God, do not create us that trouble; and that _Martha_ was\nnot reproved for doing the work, but for doing it too sollicitously.\nOur Saviour intimating to her, that no business should be done with\ninordinate agitation of spirit. Since our great business is, to hear\nthe eternal word, and act nothing with disturbance, but all in peace\nby his Spirit.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI received hereby a great support in the performance of these petty\nexterior offices, and made no difficulty at all to yield myself up to\nthis holily disordered divine order. At the same time I enjoyed such a\nsensible impression of God, yet excelling all sense, that if I had been\nthrown like a bowl, I could never have lost the sight of my God. Our\nLord turns this bowl in a strange manner, even as it pleaseth him. And\nthese several turnings are all for the soul\u2019s advantage, whereby she is\nfashioned for every occasion, that she may do nothing for or by herself;\nbut all for God, and according to him.\n\n\u201cI see likewise that one whom God employs in these low affairs, if\nhe follow them with the same fidelity, is as acceptable to God, as\none that is employed in the most noble functions. Will nothing please\nyou but to convert worlds? You shall be content to carry stones;\nand sometimes to sit still and do nothing. You are then to offer the\nsacrifice of patience. And I believe it is a thousand times more rare,\nto find a soul thus faithful in patience, and content to do no more\nthan God would have him, than faithful in actions that appear abroad.\n\n\u201cI have one word more to tell you; which is, that I am really ashamed\nand confounded, that I do no more for God: which indeed, with the sense\nof my unfitness for any thing that is good, would work me much torment,\ndid I not consider, He is all-sufficient, and doth with us as he\npleaseth.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER X.\n\n _Of his death._\n\n\n1. ON the 11th of _April_, 1649, he found himself very ill, and having\nconcealed his sickness five days, was then constrained to take his\nbed. He endured great pains all over his body, with which his mind\ntoo was so much affected, that he profest, if God had not assisted\nhim against the ravings of his imagination, he should have spoken more\nextravagancies than any madman. \u201cThere was much, he said, in such a\ncondition to humble him. But it was the duty of a sinner to honour God,\nin all conditions wherein he should place him.\u201d\n\n2. During these great pains and torments, and during the whole course\nof his sickness, his ordinary employment consisted in affectionate\nelevations of his soul to God, in thoughts and words of blessing,\npraise, and submission to whatsoever was laid upon him, and of meekness\nand perfect obedience to all that attended, and had the care of him,\nwith such a humble and contented spirit, that he thought all well done,\nthough sometimes it was otherwise.\n\n3. His patience never gave way to any complaint. And when his keeper,\nwho was of the hospital of charity, with whom he had visited so many\npoor and sick, importuned him to declare his pain, *\u201cO sister, said he,\nhow does the love of God wipe away all pain? The servants of God suffer\nnothing.\u201d Another friend asking, if his pain was not great? He answered,\nno. The other replied, \u201cHe thought it was.\u201d \u201cIt is true, saith he, that\nI am much clogged with my disease; but I feel it not, because I do not\nthink of it.\u201d\n\n4. Being urged to take some sweet things, he refused, saying, \u201cThese\nmake little for life or for death.\u201d Yet he refused not physic, but\ntook it with a chearful countenance, though it was very bitter, and\nhe had a great difficulty in swallowing. Indeed when one told him of\nanother medicine which had done great cures, he answered, \u201cPatience is\na sovereign remedy,\u201d intimating his unwillingness to try it. Yet when\nit was brought, he took it without any reluctance.\n\n5. His sickness increasing more and more, yet he never called for any\nthing to refresh him: and when they had forced clean sheets upon his\nbed, and a pillow, which he had before refused, he said, \u201cLo! Here lies\na gentleman at his ease.\u201d\n\n*6. Feeling some joy arise in him, upon the sight of a person of\nhis acquaintance, with whom he had held a strict correspondence in\nspiritual things, who came out of the country on purpose to visit him:\nhe immediately repeated thrice over, with great fervour, \u201cI desire\nnothing more but God.\u201d\n\n7. Reflecting on the poor, the constant objects of his tenderest care,\nhe said to his lady, \u201cI recommend the poor to you. Will not you have\na great care of them? You will perform it better than I. Fear nothing:\nwhat you give to them, will not lessen the rest.\u201d\n\n8. The greatest part of the first week of his illness, and some part of\nthe second likewise, was spent by him in works of mercy, appointing of\nalms, and giving orders for letters to be writ into several provinces,\nabout business of charity wherewith he stood charged, and whereof he\ngave an exact account.\n\n9. Many persons of quality coming to visit him, he received them with\nmuch civility, but not without some concern, because most of those\nvisits drew on discourse of worldly things. \u201cThey come hither, said\nhe, to talk philosophy; of which I have no need.\u201d And another time his\nexpression was,\n\n \u201cA Christian should talk little.\u201d\n\n*10. A lady of great piety coming to visit him said, \u201cSir, I would\nwith all my heart lay down my life to save yours.\u201d He replied with a\nchearful look, and eyes lifted up to heaven, \u201cTo die is not to be lost.\nOur conversation and union will hereafter be more near and intimate.\u201d\nShe said, \u201cBut, Sir, if it pleased God to restore your health, and\ncontinue you longer with us; do not you desire it? St. _Martin_\ndesired to live upon these terms.\u201d He answered, \u201cO Madam, there is no\ncomparison between a saint and a sinner! The will of God be done.\u201d\n\n11. The third day of his sickness he desired his director might be sent\nfor. And being asked, if he found himself worse? He answered, \u201cNo; but\nin a business of this consequence, it is not safe to delay, for fear of\na surprizal, the judgment and memory being both so subject to decay.\u201d\nThe next day he made his confession, the day after he confessed again,\nand almost every day till his death.\n\n12. The pastor of his parish having administered to him the Holy\nCommunion, and observing his deep silence, not speaking one word; but\nonly with profound humility, \u201cMy God, my God, pardon me; I am a great\nsinner!\u201d He asked him the reason, why he spake so little, and did not\napply himself to those who were well-pleased to hear him? \u201cIt is not\nfitting, said he, to speak in the presence of him whom I have received,\nnor take up any room in those hearts, which ought to be filled only\nwith God.\u201d He added, *\u201cMy spirit is now applied to that joy, which\na creature ought to have, to see himself upon the point of being\nre-united to his first principle, and his last end.\u201d\n\n13. The same day after dinner, one told him, \u201cIt was fit to use some\ndiversion from his serious thoughts; the physicians judging his disease\nto have much of melancholy in it.\u201d To whom he replied, \u201cI never had any\njoy comparable to that I have felt this day.\u201d He asked him, for what\ncause? \u201cTo think, said he, that I am going to be united with my God.\u201d\nHe added earnestly, \u201cI desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ.\nThe Spirit and the bride say, Come; and let him that heareth say, Come.\nAnd he that thirsteth, Let him come. Behold I come quickly. Amen; Come\nLord Jesus!\u201d\n\n*14. About noon, he desired his window might be set open, that he might\nbehold the brightness of the day: which being done, he cried out, \u201cO\nbright day of eternity! How this sun-shine chears me! Helping me to\nmeditate on that day, which shall never have night!\u201d\n\n*15. The more his sickness increased, the more he strove to unite\nhimself to God by prayer, imitating his master, who in the strength\nof his agony, prayed the more earnestly. And when the violence of his\ndisease so opprest him, that he had need of greater straining, to keep\nhis mind fixed upon God, he cried out,\n\n \u201cCourage, courage! Eternity is at hand!\u201d\n\n16. Many such speeches he uttered with incredible fervor, tho\u2019 he could\nnot pronounce them distinctly, by reason of the extreme dryness of his\nthroat, occasioned by the fever. At last, stopping his speech, he fixed\nhis eyes stedfastly on heaven, for a quarter of an hour together, with\na smiling look, and full of reverence, as if he saw some extraordinary\nsight. After which gathering all his strength, he sat up in his bed,\ntook off his cap, and holding it in his hand, said, (with words half\nstifled in his throat, as well by the ardor of his spirit, as the\nweakness of his body)\n\n \u201cI adore you, I adore you.\u201d\n\n17. The curate having used the service of the church, to which he\nattended with great devotion, answering to every prayer, asked him,\nif he would not give a blessing to his children? He answered, \u201cHow\nso, good Sir, shall I presume to give a blessing in your presence? I\nshould be happy to receive one from you.\u201d But being urged thereto, and\ntold the church allowed it, he lifted up his hands and eyes to heaven,\nsaying,\n\n\u201cMay it please God to bless you and to preserve you by his grace from\nthe malignity of the world, that you may have no part therein! And\nabove all, my children, may you live in the fear and love of God, and\nyield due obedience to your mother!\u201d\n\n18. On _Saturday_, about half an hour past ten in the forenoon, \u2666being\njust recovered out of a violent convulsion, looking attentively on\nthose that were present, he made signs with his hands, head, and eyes,\nwith a pleasant countenance, for an intimate friend to come near him.\nWhich being done, he said,\n\n \u2666 \u201cbeen\u201d replaced with \u201cbeing\u201d\n\n\u201cSir, I have one word to say to you before I die:\u201d (then pausing a\nlittle to recover his strength, he testified his affection to him, but\nin words that could not distinctly be understood. At length raising his\nvoice, and speaking more articulately, he went on) \u201cThe perfection of\na Christian life, is to be united to God by faith. Let us not entangle\nourselves in novelties. Let us adore his conduct over us, and continue\nfaithful to him unto the end. Let us adhere to that one God, crucified\nfor our salvation. Let us unite all our actions, and all that is in us\nto his merits; hoping that if we continue faithful to him by his grace,\nwe shall be partakers of the glory of his Father. I hope we shall there\nsee one another one day, which shall never have an end.\u201d\n\n19. Some time after, fixing his eyes upon heaven, he said, \u201cThe\nholy Jesus, where is he?\u201d They brought him his picture, which he\naffectionately kissed. Then turning himself he presently entered his\nlast agony; which held about a quarter of an hour, the greatest part\nof which he spent in pronouncing the name of Jesus; making as well as\nhe could, acts of resignation, and commending his spirit to God: After\nwhich he expired sweetly, and his holy soul departed to its place of\nrest.\n\n20. Thus lived and died M. _de Renty_, one of the most glorious lights\nGod hath bestowed upon his church in our age. He died at _Paris_, in\nthe 37th year of his age, the 24th of _April_ 1649, about noon. We have\ngreat reason to admire the secret counsels of God, in taking out of\nthe world, in the flower of his age, a man so qualified to advance the\nhonour of God, and the good of his neighbour. But when we say, it was\nthe hand of God, all things are therein concluded. Hereby he is pleased\nto let us know, that he hath no need of us for the advancing his glory;\nand that when he does use us as instruments therein, we ought to behave\nwith all humility in his presence. He hath translated him to another\nplace, where he glorifies his majesty with greater perfection; and\nwhere he waits for us to glorify and love, together with him, God the\nFather, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, to all eternity! _Amen!_\n\n\n\n\n An EXTRACT from the\n LIFE and DEATH of\n THOMAS WALSH.\n\n\n THE INTRODUCTION.\n\nTHE exceeding riches of the grace of God our Saviour, and the effectual\nworking of his mighty power, have in all ages shone most conspicuously\nin the holy lives and exemplary conversation of his eminent servants,\n_the excellent of the earth_, with whom are his peculiar delights.\n\nAnd although, strictly speaking, He only is _wise_ and _good_,\nnevertheless, there is a sense in which goodness is with propriety\nascribed both to angels and to men. This consists in their resemblance\nof him who is the source and model of all goodness, holiness, and\nperfection; as proceeding from his fulness, whence life and blessedness\nflow to every creature, whether in heaven or in earth.\n\nOf this kind the scriptures furnish us with several examples, _Abraham_,\n_Enoch_, _Noah_, _Daniel_ and _Job_, (beside many others) are described\nin the Old Testament, as men walking before God, and perfect in their\ngeneration. And the eleventh chapter to the _Hebrews_ contains little\nelse than an account of ancient worthies, eminently remarkable for\ntheir faith, sufferings, patience, and glorious end; who considering\nthemselves as strangers and pilgrims in this world, sought _a city\nwhich hath foundations, whose builder and maker is_ God. And God,\nsaith the apostle, _hath provided some better things for us, that they\nwithout us should not be made perfect_.\n\nThe time would fail to mention particularly the names of all the\neminently faithful, who have lived and adorned their profession, since\nlife and immortality have been brought to light by the gospel. They are\nan innumerable company. It is enough for us to know, that if _any one\nloveth_ God, _the same is known of him_. Their _names are written in\nthe Lamb\u2019s book of life_, and shall at last be numbered amongst his\njewels.\n\n When names, and sects, and parties fall,\n And thou, O Christ, art all in all!\n\nAmong the number of persons eminent for their usefulness and personal\nholiness, which the present generation has produced, he, a part of\nwhose life is here related, may justly be considered as one; and his\nexample is one, which in some respects may be said to have its peculiar\nexcellencies.\n\nA circumstantial detail of such things as often find a place in this\nkind of writings, namely, family, childhood, education, stature,\ncomplexion, and a variety of common occurrences, is judged, as well\ntedious as foreign to the design of the work, which is to represent,\nprincipally what passed between God and his soul in the progress of his\nconversation and daily walking with God.\n\nAnd yet neither is intelligence of this sort wholly omitted; he\nhas left a few particulars relative thereto, which will enable the\nreader to form some idea, as well of the former as latter part of his\npilgrimage.\n\nHis prayer was, \u2018That this little book (meaning what is here called\nthe _first part_, great part of which he wrote himself) may be made a\nblessing to all who shall read it; that the Lord Jesus may make it a\nmeans of kindling holy desire in their souls, and of stirring them up\nto the fear and love of God.\u2019\n\n\n\n\n PART the FIRST.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of his birth and education._\n\n\nTHOMAS WALSH, was born in the year of our Lord 1730, at a place\ncalled _Bally Linn_, in the county, and within about ten miles of\nthe city of _Limerick_ in _Ireland_. His father, _Edmund Walsh_, was\nby occupation a carpenter, a man of tolerable education, and strong\nnatural understanding. His mother\u2019s name was _Helena Nougham_, born of\nreputable parents. They were both members of, and entirely biggotted to\nthe church of _Rome_.\n\nWhen about eight years old, he was put to school to learn English (his\nmother tongue was _Irish_.) Afterwards he went to school to one of his\nbrothers (of whom he had several) by whom he was initiated into the\n_Latin_ tongue. Having acquired its rudiments in some tolerable degree,\nhe went afterwards into the neighbouring county of _Clare_, with a\ndesign to be put apprentice, his friends intending him to be of his\nfather\u2019s trade.\n\nBut God in his adorable providence and unsearchable wisdom, had, as the\nevent shewed, other designs concerning him. Disappointed therefore in\nthis he returned to school, and proceeded in his pursuit of learning;\napplying himself at present to the study of _Latin_, which he had but\nlately intermitted.\n\nAfter he had made some considerable progress in this, he applied\nhimself to the study of some parts of the _mathematicks_, for which he\nthought he had a better genius than for languages. He soon acquired the\nknowledge of arithmetic, both vulgar and decimal, measuring superficies\nand solids, &c. And afterwards went to the city of _Limerick_ in order\nto perfect himself in writing.\n\nAnd now having continued at school till about the nineteenth year of\nhis age, and having acquired such branches of literature as fitted him\nfor being useful to others in the same way: he quitted school, and set\nup one for himself, wanting neither scholars nor ability to instruct\nthem, which he did with success, during the time he continued his\nschool.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _Of his religion, and the struggle which he found between\n nature and grace, till the sixteenth year of his age._\n\n\nHIS parents (being as has been observed) members of, and strongly\nattached to the church of _Rome_, brought him up in the same principles\nand communion, and took care that his mind should be early furnished\nwith the first and fundamental parts of what they judged his duty\ntowards God.\n\n\u201cWhen (says he) I was young I learned the Lord\u2019s prayer, and _Ave\nMaria_, in _Irish_, together with the hundred and thirtieth psalm\nin _Latin_; with the Popish augmentation thereto. And now I began to\nimbibe that uncharitable, anti-scriptural opinion, that all dissenters\nfrom the church of _Rome_ were heretics, and in a state of damnation.\nBut, since the Lord hath enlightened my understanding, I am fully\nconvinced that therein I greatly erred, _not knowing the scriptures,\nneither the power of God_.\n\n\u201cI cannot but lament the case of those parents, who alas! not knowing\nwhat they do, endeavour to instill into the minds of their children\nsuch pernicious principles: and I do earnestly intreat all children,\nas soon as they come to years of discretion, to examine, and judge for\nthemselves.\u201d\n\nIt pleased our Lord to work in his heart very early. He made him bear\nthe yoke in his youth, and by his terrors restrained him from excess,\nand the great offence. \u201cEven while I was young and ignorant (says he)\nGod was striving with me, and often terrified my heart: especially\nwhenever I thought of the day of judgment, and of eternity!\n\n\u201cAt those times especially, I frequently repeated the prayers I had\nlearnt. But alas! to how little purpose? While I prayed neither with\nthe spirit, nor with understanding. My heart was hard and stubborn, and\nmy understanding was blind and foolish. I had no just conception either\nof God, or of religion. Nay, so great was my ignorance, that when I\nnamed our Saviour in _Irish_, I thought the name belonged to some woman\nin heaven.\n\n\u201cWhile I was thus foolish, and blind (_even as a beast before thee!_)\nmy fallen nature began powerfully to discover itself. The seed of the\nserpent working in my heart, broke forth in words and in deeds. Now\npride, anger, and self-will especially, reigned over me. But alas!\nI then little knew that those accursed tempers proceeded from that\nsource of universal disorder, and all human miseries, _original sin_.\nI believed that this had brought temporal death into the world, and\ngreat disorder into the whole state of the visible creation: but of its\nsubjecting the soul to spiritual, and exposing it to eternal death, I\nhad no apprehension. I had, it is true, conviction whenever I did amiss;\ntold a lie, or fell into any other outward sin. But the Spirit of God,\nand the holy scriptures alone, I now plainly see, could convince me\nthat my tempers deserved the damnation of hell. And hitherto I was\nignorant of both.\n\n\u201cWhen I was about eight years old, I began to love play, and divers\nother silly pleasures, spending the time I was out of school in\ncatching of birds, playing at ball, and the like. My fondness for these\noccasioned my frequently breaking the sabbath, which I usually spent\neither in these vain amusements, or in reading some profane history,\nor other unprofitable book; and indeed no one so much as told me, that\nthese kinds of employments were any violation of the Lord\u2019s day: my\nparents, like the rest of their neighbours, esteeming them innocent\ndiversions, harmless amusements.\n\n\u201cI did not then know that I ought not on this day _to do mine own\npleasure, to speak mine own words_, or think my own thoughts; that I\nought to spend it wholly in glorifying God, by praying to him, hearing\nhis word, and reading and meditating therein; _calling the sabbath a\ndelight, the holy of the Lord, honourable_.\u00b9 O the curse of ignorance\nand evil example! How many souls do these lead into the broad way of\ndestruction! How happy would it have been for my poor soul, if I had\nknown and _remembered my Creator in the days of my youth_! Had I been\n_brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord_; had I _known\nthe scriptures from my childhood_!\u00b2 How would it have contributed\nto prevent my wrong conceptions, and to regulate, at least, in some\nmeasure, my whole conduct.\n\n \u00b9 Isaiah lvii.\u00a013.\n\n \u00b2 Ecclesiastes xii.\u00a01. Ephesians vi.\u00a04. 2\u00a0Timothy iii.\u00a015.\n\n\u201cFrom the tenth to the fourteenth year of my age, my corruptions\nincreased, took deeper root, and more visibly appeared in my whole\nconversation: and yet I was more regular and conscientious in\ndischarging my duty towards God. (So I was taught to call a dull form\nof words, part of which only were addressed to God, and the greatest\npart to saints and angels.) My parents according to custom brought me\nat the usual times to the priest, who examined me concerning the _Pater\nNoster_, _Ave Maria_, and _credo in Deum_, with some other rites of the\nchurch of _Rome_. But alas! to how little purpose? It made me neither\nwiser, nor better. Some part, it is true, of what he taught me, was\naccording to the word of God; but the greater part entirely repugnant\nthereto, and to all truth and righteousness. But I knew not then how\nto distinguish between the truths of God, and the traditions of men,\nhaving had no knowledge of _the law and the testimony_, the only\ninfallible touchstone of doctrine and practice. He might therefore have\nimposed whatever he pleased upon me; and the rather, as I was taught to\nbelieve whatever he said, and to consider it as coming from the mouth\nof God. Indeed I could not help observing even then, that several of\nthose reverend gentlemen frequently erred in practice: tho\u2019 still I\nthought they were infallible as to doctrine.\n\n\u201cAfter this catechising, I became more inquisitive, and began to\nread books of devotion. These I found for the present had their use.\nWhenever I read of the passion of our Saviour; the love of God to\nsinners; the joys of heaven, or the miseries of the damned, my heart\nbecame deeply affected; and much desire towards God enkindled in my\nsoul.\u201d But alas! it soon died away again, becoming like the _morning\ncloud_. The inconstancy and corruption of his heart, easily prevailing\nover those divine, but transient impressions.\n\n\u201cFrom the fourteenth to the sixteenth year of my age, I had more of the\nform, though less of the power of godliness, than even before. I now\nattended the public worship (that is, went to mass) and every night\nrepeated my prayers, which were indeed no better than vain repetitions.\nBut still, pride, anger, self-will, and revenge more powerfully\nprevailed over me than ever: and I added to these my former prevailing\nabominations, lies and evil words. Indeed I had an entire aversion\nto cursing and swearing in the gross sense; but abounded in petty\noaths and bad wishes. Of this sort there are legions in the _Irish_\nlanguage;\u201d perhaps more, and more wickedly expressive than in any other\nlanguage. \u201cBeing at play, I remember one day, and provoked by one of\nmy play-fellows, I swore (horror to think!) by the glorious name of\nJehovah (to the best of my remembrance I never did so before, nor ever\nsince). In that instant I felt I had grievously sinned against God, and\ndeserved his wrath and heavy displeasure.\u201d\n\n\u201cTo the rest of my evils I joined disobedience to my parents. Indeed\nI dared not shew it outwardly, to my father especially, whom I so\ndreaded as often to tremble for fear of him. But my heart was hard and\nstubborn.\u201d One instance of this he mentions which wrought him many a\nbitter reflection afterwards; for years he hardly ever thought of it\nwithout being deeply affected with shame and sorrow. Having one day\nthro\u2019 his stubbornness greatly provoked his mother, and given her a\nwicked and impertinent answer, she said to him \u201cYou have grieved me.\u201d\n\u201cIt went like an arrow through my heart. I knew the fifth commandment\n(the fourth indeed I then called it according to the custom of the\nchurch of _Rome_) strictly forbids disobedience to parents, and that to\nhonour them, is _the first commandment with promise_. Justly therefore\nwas I condemned. But, O God! How little is it to be wondered at, that I\ndid not rightly love, neither was obedient to my earthly parents, while\nI knew neither love, nor obedience towards thee, my Father, who art in\nheaven? Well do I know now (and praised be thy love for this knowledge)\nthat such as are froward towards thee, will, while they remain so,\nnever be truly a comfort to their parents.\u201d They may indeed, pay an\noutward compliance, and a seemingly dutiful subjection, as is often\nseen even among professed worldlings; but cordially and disinterestedly\nto love, honour and reverence our parents, can only be the effect of\nsubjection in heart and life to the _Father of spirits_. So universally\ntrue is it, that \u201cA foe to God, was ne\u2019er _true_ friend to man.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _Giving a farther account of him; the corruptions he struggled\n against, and the means he made use of to subdue them, from the\n sixteenth to the eighteenth year of his age._\n\n\nNOW, both his sins and convictions daily encreased upon him. The desire\nof the flesh in particular raged in his nature, and it wanted not its\nfrequent and prevalent incitements. Now likewise he began to assume\nthe man, and kept more company than before, which not a little inflamed\nhis besetting sin. Temptations from without were multiplied, and there\nwanted not opportunities and solicitations from the devil and nature to\ndefile himself before the Lord. But still the preventing grace of God\nrestrained him from sinning against him, in the actual transgression.\nThis indeed, tho\u2019 it did not, could not, exempt from guilt, fear and\nshame, considering the purity of the gospel law, nevertheless became\njustly matter of his thanksgiving to God. \u201cI do (says he) praise God\nunfeignedly, for with-holding me from my own actual wickedness, and\npreventing my leading others into the cursed and detestable abomination.\nBut I abhor and condemn myself for the concupiscence and wickedness\nof my heart, which (with grief and horror God knoweth I speak it!)\ndiscovered itself in other respects, such as it is a shame even to\nmention. Of this no human eye could be a witness.\u201d But God, his holy\nangels, and his own conscience were more than ten thousand witnesses\nagainst him.\n\nAnd now, at length, his life became a burden to him, almost\ninsupportable. His true character at this time was, _O wretched man\nthat I am! who shall deliver me!_ He felt \u201cindwelling sin, indwelling\nhell,\u201d and breathed in many a groan,\n\n O what is life without my God?\n A burden more than I can bear.\n I struggle to throw of my load,\n Me from myself I strive to tear!\n\n\u201cThe Spirit of God (says he) deeply wounded me. _The arrows of the\nalmighty_ stuck fast in me, and my very bones trembled because of my\nsin. I was persuaded in my heart that this commotion was conviction for\nmy sin; but had little conception that the Holy Spirit was the chief\nagent in the work: for alas! So great was my ignorance that I did not\nknow there was _any Holy Ghost_ for _me_ to receive.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhile I was thus in the midst of my extremity, I _confessed_ to the\npriest according to the custom of the church of _Rome_. He advised me\nto say many prayers (as he termed counting my beads) but alas! This did\nnot do: and indeed how should it? I was brought into captivity through\nthe power of _sin which reigned in my members_. And even my multiplied\nprayers could be little else than an abomination to the Lord, while\nneither the form, nor the matter of them was according to the will\nof God. Many of them being little else than vain repetitions, and\nbabblings to physicians of no value, in this respect; which therefore\nleft me under the power of _sin and death_.\u201d\n\nIndeed how else should it be? While he was yet unthought of; at least\nunapplied to, who alone could help him; even Jesus, whose name is\nsalvation: and beside which, in heaven or in earth, there is none other,\nby which a sinner can be saved. He it is that invites, and he only can,\nand doth, give the _weary_ and the _heavy laden_, to find rest to their\nsouls, and who at length did \u201callay his fever of desire, by sprinkling\nhim with his blood.\u201d\n\nHearing the priest preach one Lord\u2019s day, and declaim vehemently\nagainst a variety of gross sins, the discourse, tho\u2019 (as his words\nare) \u201cmixed with many falsities,\u201d so deeply affected him, that in the\nanguish of his spirit, he resolved never more to return to house or\nhome, till God should shew him mercy. This precipitate and unadvised\nresolution was however of short continuance. In fact, the commotion and\ndisordered state of his soul ill admitted of any thing uniformly steady\nwhether right or wrong, either by purpose or in practice: it therefore\nsoon vanished away, and he again sought by various ways to procure some\nalleviation of his distress.\n\n\u201cI strove (says he) to divert myself in the best manner I could,\nseeking rest and peace in the miserable comforts of this world. But\nmy conscience was still restless, and a hell opened in my breast.\nNot knowing what to do, nor which way to turn for rest, I at length\nattempted to quiet the clamours of my troubled mind, by solemnly\nresolving how soberly, righteously, and godly I would live the residue\nof my life. Full of these good purposes, and strengthened as I thought\nby vows and promises, I hoped all would be well; having all this\nwhile no idea of the satisfaction by Christ and the all-sufficiency\n\u2666of his merits; and therefore, resolving only in my own strength, my\nresolutions proved as broken cisterns, which could hold no comfort; and\nas broken reeds, which afforded no strength!\u201d\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cof\u201d removed\n\nStruggling on still in the dark, he added fasting to his prayers and\nresolutions. But all this did not do. He still found himself bound as\nin _affliction and iron_. He remained in sore bondage, doing the evil\nhe would not, and not doing the good, which he would have done, (Romans\n\u2666vii.) His convictions became still sharper and his fear of hell more\ndeeply distressing. Endeavouring therefore by some means or other to\nprocure rest for his soul, he had recourse to his former shifts, and\nsays, \u201cI repeated my resolutions and vows against sin; but especially\nwhenever I fell into any outward wickedness; and above all, the _sin\nthat did so easily beset me_. Then I was as on the rack, and thro\u2019\nextremity of anguish, have frequently struck myself against the ground,\ntearing the hairs from off my head.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201c7\u201d replaced with \u201cvii\u201d for consistency\n\nHis light began now to encrease with his painful feeling. \u201cAbout this\ntime (says he) by reading, and the help of the holy Spirit, I began to\nhave a still clearer notion concerning the nature and consequences of\nsin, and particularly of those which by the church of _Rome_ are termed\nmortal sins.\u201d\n\nThis increase of knowledge did not however mend, much less heal his\nheart. No,\n\n The sudden ray of heavenly light,\n Which dimly dawned upon his night,\n But made his darkness visible,\n And left him to a deeper hell.\n\nAnd even in this respect he found it true, that _he that encreaseth\nknowledge, encreaseth sorrow_; a proposition which is universally\ntrue, with respect to all the pursuits of the soul after happiness:\nthe knowledge of Jesus Christ, _and him crucified_, alone excepted.\nStruggling therefore in his chains, he resolved upon other measures.\nAnd finding that his prayers, tears, resolutions, and vows did not\navail, he devised another expedient, and came to this determination,\nsolemnly to swear to the Lord, imagining that then it would not be\npossible that he should break with him afterwards, has had been the\ncase, with all his former efforts.\n\nAccordingly he bound himself by an oath, that for the time to come\nhe would abstain from, and utterly renounce all those sins which had\nwrought him so much uneasiness. This procedure begot in him for the\npresent, rather some cessation from torment, than true peace, and left\nhim for a while in deep security. But alas! It was not long ere he\nfound this band likewise was altogether weak as the staff of a broken\nreed. He fell into one of those very sins, against the commission of\nwhich he had so sacredly bound himself; involving by this means his\nenlightened conscience in the additional guilt of (what he called)\nperjury, and thus rendered his anxiety and embarrassment great beyond\ndescription.\n\nWho can conceive what his weary spirit now experienced! His\nwretchedness and confusion exceeded all the powers of words to express.\n\nYea, he gave up hope; and became well nigh desperate. He knew not\nwhither to betake himself, or what should be his next step; reasoning\nthus with himself in the bitterness of his soul, \u201cSince I have perjured\nmyself in one instance, I may as well commit all my old sins over again.\nThus (adds he) I was driven by the devil, allured by sin and corruption,\nand deceived by my own evil heart.\u201d\n\nAbout this time likewise, it pleased our Lord to visit him with a fit\nof illness, by which his fears and misery were considerably increased.\nHe often bewailed himself in the uttermost anguish of spirit, with\nweeping and lamentation, breathing out his soul in moans. \u201cO the guilt\nof sin; when charged home upon the conscience by the Spirit of God,\nwhat an intolerable load! _A wounded spirit who can bear!_\u201d\n\nThus, _being ignorant of God\u2019s righteousness_; the way of becoming\nrighteous, or justified, which he hath appointed, he went _about to\nestablish_ his _own righteousness_, expecting to be justified _by the\nworks of the law_, and not _by the faith of Jesus Christ_.\n\nHe became _wearied in the multitude_ of his _counsels_, and seeking\nnot in God\u2019s way it fared with him accordingly. For still, although\nhe sought for rest, he found it not, because he sought it not aright.\nThese were indeed the days of his invincible ignorance, at which\ntherefore the God of love graciously winked. He _knew_ not, because\nas yet he had no one to _teach_ him. \u201cHow (as he says) could I do\notherwise? I had not the bible to instruct me; for I never had read\nit, except a little at school, when I was about eleven years old. Woe\nto you (he adds) ye blind guides (meaning the _Romish_ clergy) ye have\ntaken away the key of knowledge, that is, the word of God from the\npeople. It is this which unfolds the hidden treasures of his will, and\nfree grace towards mankind. While therefore I remained ignorant of this,\nno wonder that I went on in error, and fought _as one that beateth the\nair_.\u201d\n\nBut now the true teacher began more powerfully to manifest himself to\nhim, although as yet he knew him not. _The spirit of truth proceeding\nfrom the Father and the Son_, wrought in him daily, a still deeper\nsolicitude about his salvation. Among others of his reflections in\nreference thereto, he began to think more seriously than ever, of the\ndoctrine of the church of _Rome_, and of his own connexions with her;\nresolving that whatever might be the consequence, he would, both do,\nand avoid, whatever appeared to him, nay in any measure contribute to\nthe true life of his soul. Thus, hitherto\n\n \u201cDrawn by a secret power he flew,\n Nor stay\u2019d to prop the papal throne,\n The truth determined to pursue,\n And panting for a God unknown;\n By works of legal righteousness,\n He blindly sought the grace t\u2019obtain,\n But could not find the paths of peace,\n But labour\u2019d thro\u2019 the fire in vain.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _Of his forsaking the church of_ Rome.\n\n\nA VARIETY of incidents contributed to this part of his conduct. He was\nfirst deeply concerned about the weighty affair of his own salvation;\nand then began to think seriously of the influence which his religious\nconnexions might have thereon, which prepared him for attending to\nwhatever he at any time either read, or had spoken to him on this head.\n\nThat which outwardly contributed most thereto was the instance of his\nbrother, of whom he had learned _Latin_. \u201cA man (to use his own words)\nof tolerable learning, and designed for a Popish priest. But seeing\nmany errors among them, he renounced popery.\u201d\n\nAbout the eighteenth year of his age, while he was a strict observer\nof the Romish church, this brother (whose relinquishing it was some\nyears before) began frequently to discourse with him concerning the\nprinciples of the _Romanists_. But \u201cI strenuously (says he) though\nignorantly withstood him; alledging in my defence the traditions and\ncanons of the church, while he, on the contrary, appealed _to the law,\nand to the testimony_. He often said to me, My brother why do you not\nread God\u2019s word? Lay aside prejudice, and let us reason together.\u201d\n\n\u201cTo the same purpose spake another person in the neighbourhood, one\nMr. _Philip Geyer_, a Protestant, and well versed in controversy. Mr.\n_Walsh_, you are a sober young man (so indeed I was generally thought\nto be, though God knows I was drunk with enmity against him) and what\npity it is that you do not read the holy scriptures? Why will you\nsuffer yourself to be deceived by the _Pope_ and his fraternity.\u201d\n\nReasonings of this kind, which were occasionally made use of\nwith him from time to time, together with hearing the scriptures\nfrequently read in his brother\u2019s school, put him at length upon\na diligent consideration of both sides of the question. But as it\ngenerally happens in like cases, an attachment to old sentiments,\nthe prejudices of education, shame, or fear of man, with a variety of\nother considerations, kept him for some time in strong suspense. His\nbreast was moved with contrary, and therefore conflicting passions.\nHe revolved in his mind, and rejected many a thought on the head, and\nagain resumed and embraced them. Thus halting _between two opinions_,\nhe complains of the \u201cCorruption of his heart and prejudice of his\neducation, which were as smoke upon his soul, so dimming his\nunderstanding that he could see nothing clearly.\u201d\n\n\u201cI had (continues he) a custom of repeating frequently as I walked\nby the way, some prayers, or articles of faith which I had learned in\nmy childhood. And walking one day in _September, 1748_, in a pleasant\nfield, I was ruminating deeply on what my opponents urged against the\ndoctrine of the church of _Rome_. I said in my heart\u2015\u2015Perhaps all is\nnot right. Peradventure I have been imposed upon. But then how shall I\nknow? How can I be certainly assured whether the priest has led me in\nthe right way?\u2015\u2015Immediately it \u2666occurred to my mind, that on God alone,\nI could safely venture my salvation, and that without doubt, he would\nlead me by his counsel, if I asked wisdom of him.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201coccurrd\u201d replaced with \u201coccurred\u201d\n\n\u201cThen I cried unto the Lord God, and said\u2015\u2015All things are known to\nthee, and thou seest that I want to worship thee aright. Shew me the\nway wherein I ought to go, nor suffer me to be deceived by men.\u201d\n\nThe Lord who apprehended, and instructed _Saul_, when he enquired of\nhim in astonishment, _What wilt thou have me to do?_\u00b9 Attended to, and\nanswered his prayer; which he did not cease then, to pour out before\nhim. _The Father of lights_, and the giver of wisdom to all that ask\nit, did, according to the adorable methods of his working, instruct and\ndetermine his choice in this particular.\n\n \u00b9 Acts ix.\n\nTo this time and occasion may be referred what he has more than once\ntold me, determined him with respect to the Popish doctrine of merit,\nand had much influence on his entirely renouncing the communion of that\nchurch: namely, the deep impression on his mind of those words of St.\n_Paul_, _If righteousness come by the law, then |Christ| is dead in\nvain_. This passage he assured me he had not remembered ever to have\nread, or heard; and that afterwards, when he met with it (Galatians\nii.\u00a021.) it was to him like life from the dead. Truly, O God, _Thy\nword is a light_, and by taking heed thereto, this _young man\u2019s way\nwas cleansed_.\n\nSoon after this, he resolved to stand no longer in desponding\nhesitation, halting between two opinions. \u201cTherefore, (says he) going\nto my brother and the other persons who used to converse with me on\nthis head, and providentially meeting the two principal ones together,\nI determined now, once for all, either to convince, or be convinced by\nthem; for I had an unfeigned desire to save my soul.\u201d\n\n\u201cProposing therefore my design, they desired me to bring a bible,\nand with it _Nelson\u2019s feasts, and fasts of the church of England_.\nAccordingly, we began reading, and conversing, and continued together\ntill midnight.\u201d The result of which was, he now determined no longer\nto resist conviction. \u201cI was (says he) constrained to give place to the\nlight of truth. It was so convincing that I had nothing more to say.\nI at length confessed the weakness of my former reasonings, and the\nstrength of those which were opposed to me!\u201d\n\n\u201cAbout one o\u2019clock in the morning I retired to my lodging, and\naccording to my usual custom went to prayer: but now, only to the God\nof heaven, I no more prayed to any angel or spirit. For I am deeply\npersuaded that _there is \u2666but one_ God, _and one Mediator between_ God\n_and man, even the man Christ Jesus_. Therefore I resolved no longer\nto suffer any man to beguile me in a voluntary humility, in worshiping\neither saints or angels.\u00b9 These latter I considered as they are\nrepresented, _Ministring spirits sent forth to minister for them who\nshall be heirs of salvation_.\u00b2 But with regard to any worship being\npaid to them, one of themselves said, _See thou do it not, worship_\nGod.\u00b3 God only.\n\n \u2666 \u201cb\u201d replaced with \u201cbut\u201d\n\n \u00b9 Colossians ii.\u00a018.\n\n \u00b2 Hebrews i.\u00a014.\n\n \u00b3 Revelation xix.\u00a010.\n\n\u201cAll my sophisms on this head were entirely overthrown by a few hours\ncandid reading the holy scriptures, which now became as _a lantern\nto my feet, and a lamp to my paths_, directing me in the way wherein\nI should go. I could see no manner of authority either in the old\nTestament or the new for invocating any saint, or apostle whatsoever.\nGod, the triune God, is, alone, the proper object of prayer, and of\nall divine worship.\u201d He is likewise _a jealous_ God (Exodus xx. 5.)\nand will not give his glory to another, before his glorious Majesty\nthe hosts of heaven, _angels and authorities, principalities and\npowers, thrones and dominions_, vailing their faces, fall down in\nlowly prostrations, while they adore him (whom all should adore!) that\nsitteth upon the throne, and the Lamb, that liveth for ever \u2666and ever.\u201d\n\n \u2666 omitted word \u201cand\u201d supplied\n\nNot many days after, he fell into discourse with his father on the head,\nand informed him, that he was minded to forsake the church of _Rome_,\nbeing clearly convinced she was not that infallible, or pure church he\nonce esteemed her, \u201cbut rather (to use his words) an harlot, who had\ncommitted spiritual and vile adultery. My father (adds he) was much\nprovoked, and produced his strong reasons to overthrow all I had said.\nI dared not but listen to him, which I did with much attention. But the\nmore he argued, the more was I confirmed in my former resolution.\u201d\n\nBeing now fully satisfied, and deliberately determined, he resolved to\nomit no becoming method of testifying the same. And accordingly (having\nno temporal interest to serve thereby, as may be undeniably plain to\nevery one) he, without farther delay, publickly and in form, renounced\nhis former communion; abjured the errors of the church of _Rome_,\nand thence forward regularly attended the service of the church of\n_England_.\n\nHe was greatly delighted with the prayers. (As was, St. _Austin_ at his\nfirst attendance, with the service of the Church in general. _Confess._,\nbook\u00a09, chapter\u00a06. His heart melted with divine sweetness, and his eyes\nflowed down with tears of love.) A certain providence seemed to direct\nthe very matter of the first sermon which he heard there. \u201cThe first\ntext (says he) I heard preached on at church, was _He that believeth\nand is baptized, shall be saved: but he that believeth not, shall be\ndamned_, (Mark xvi.\u00a016.)\n\n\u201cYet, alas! How little did I know of believing? Being taught, and\naccustomed to call by the name of faith, the peculiar principles of the\nchurch of _Rome_. But I have now learned a better lesson, and know that\n_rightly_ to believe, is one of the greatest things in the world.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnd now that I have left the church of _Rome_, I nevertheless declare\nthat I think there are many sincere souls among them. For I bear them\nwitness, that they have a zeal for God, tho\u2019 not according to knowledge.\nMany of them have justice, mercy, and truth; and may (notwithstanding\nmany errors in sentiment, and therefore in practice, thro\u2019 invincible\nignorance) since as is God\u2019s majesty, so is his mercy, be dealt with\naccordingly.\u201d\n\nThere have been doubtless, and still are among them, some burning and\nshining lights; persons who (whatever their particular sentiments may\nbe) are devoted to the service of Jesus Christ, according as their\nlight and opportunities admit. And in reality, whatever _opinions_\npeople may hold, they are most approved of God, whose tempers and\nbehaviour correspond most with the model of his holy word. This however,\ncan be no justification of avowed unscriptural tenets, such, as has\nbeen often proved, are many of those of the church of _Rome_.\n\n\u201cIt may be asked then, \u2018Why did I leave their communion, since I\nthought so favourably of them:\u2019 I answer, because I was abundantly\nconvinced, that _as a church_, they have erred from the _right way_,\nand adulterated the truths of God with the inventions and traditions\nof men; which the scriptures, and even celebrated writers of themselves\nabundantly testify. God is my witness herein, that the sole motive\nwhich induced me to leave them, was an unfeigned desire to know the\nway of God more perfectly, in order to the salvation of my soul. For\naltho\u2019 I then felt, and do yet feel my heart to be as the prophet\nspeaks, _deceitful, and desperately wicked_ with regard to God; yet I\nwas sincere in my reformation, having from the holy Spirit an earnest\ndesire to save my soul, and prepare to meet my God.\n\n\u201cIf it should be still asked, \u2018But could I not be saved, supposing\nI had never left the church of _Rome_?\u2019 I answer, If I had never\nknown the truth of the scriptures concerning the way of salvation,\nnor been convinced that their principles were anti-scriptural, then\nI think I might have been saved in her communion, the merciful God\nmaking allowance for my invincible ignorance. But now, since God hath\nenlightened my mind, and given me to see _the truth as it is in_ Jesus,\nif I had still continued a member of the church of _Rome_, I could not\nhave been saved.\n\n\u201cWith regard to others, I say nothing. I know that _every man must\nbear his own burden, and give an account of himself to_ God. To their\nown master, both they and I must stand or fall. But love however, and\ntender compassion for their souls, constrain me to pour out a prayer to\nGod in their behalf.\n\n\u201cAll souls are thine, O Lord God, and thou willest _all_ to come to\nthe knowledge of the truth and be saved. For this end thou did give thy\nonly begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, might not perish,\nbut have everlasting life. I beseech thee therefore O eternal God, shew\nthy tender mercies upon those poor souls who have been long deluded by\n_the god of this_ world, the pope, and his _clergy_. Jesus, thou lover\nof souls and friend of sinners, send to them thy light, and truth, that\nthey may lead them, and call those straying sheep, now perishing for\nlack of knowledge, to the light of thy word, which is able to make them\nwise to salvation through faith, which is in thee!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _Some further account of his progress in the way of life, with\n other reasons of his conduct in regard of the church of Rome._\n\n\nTHE affair of renouncing communion with the Romish church, and\ndeclaring himself a member of the church of _England_, being now\nover, he set himself to read with much diligence the holy scriptures,\ntogether with the writings of some of the most eminent Protestant\ndivines. And hereby he received further light every day, being more\nand more persuaded that his conduct was right.\n\nBy this means he began likewise to see into the nature of the gospel,\nand the one, only way which it points to life and blessedness, grace\nand glory. \u2018Now (says he) I begin to discern clearly that it is _the\nblood of_ Christ alone which _cleanseth from sin_, and that _by one\noffering_ of himself once for all, _he hath perfected for ever them\nthat are sanctified_.\u2019\u00b9\u2015\u2015Perfectly accomplished, without any need of\nother helps, or repetitions of the same, all that was necessary in\norder to the justification and glorification of all believers.\n\n \u00b9 Hebrews x.\u00a014.\n\n\u201cI likewise became now more clearly sensible of the errors which I\nformerly held. As 1st, Thinking that my own works could merit something\nfrom God. 2dly, vainly imagining that there is a place for the\npurgation of sin after death. When at any time therefore I was asked\nnow, why I had left the church of _Rome_? I could answer upon good and\nsolid grounds: because I am well assured that the doctrines of merit\n(to speak of no more) and works of supererogation, are contrary both to\nreason and scripture.\u201d\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015To reason, it being absurd to suppose that a\ncreature, receiving life, and breath, and all things from its Creator,\nshould be able to love, adore, and obey him, more than is required of\nhim as his indispensable duty.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015To scripture; being flatly contrary\nto the words of Christ, _When ye shall have done all these things which\nare commanded you, say_, that is, take knowledge, _we are unprofitable\nservants_.\u00b9\n\n \u00b9 Luke xvii.\u00a010.\n\n\u201cBeside, If _the blood of_ Christ, the merit of all he hath done and\nsuffered, _cleanseth from all sin_,\u00b9 what imaginable need can there\nbe of the fire of purgatory? Surely when _all_ sin is cleansed, or\ntaken away, there can be _none_ remaining.\u201d Alas for those who trust\nfor safety to such a staff of a broken reed! Deferring the _present_\nopportunities and means of deliverance from sin and death, under the\npretence of some future purgation from sin in the invisible world.\n\n \u00b9 1 John i.\u00a07.\n\n\u201cIf all the light of this world was to be _immediately_ at once\nextinguished, _all human_ souls that were not in some real degree of\nregeneration, would immediately find themselves but the rage of fire,\nand horror of darkness.\u201d O then thou poor sinner, whoever thou art,\nrepent, repent, and turn to God, whilst thou hast flesh upon thee; for\nas long as that lasts the kingdom of God is _nigh at hand_: but if thou\ndiest without true conversion, better thou hadst never been born! For\nthen \u201cblack lakes, bottomless pits, ages of a gnawing worm, and a fire\nthat never ceases to burn, will stand between thee and the kingdom of\nheaven for ever.\u201d\n\nHis now encreasing knowledge in the things of God; his ability from the\nholy scriptures to distinguish between truth and error, became daily\nand justly matter of his thanksgiving to God. But yet his unregenerate\nnature was not, could not be truly at rest. The word of God was now\nindeed his study and delight. But it served likewise, by shewing him\nhow his heart and life must be, more deeply to distress him. _The\ncommandment_ in its spiritual and extensive meaning, still dissecting\nhis inward parts, slew him (_Romans vii. 8\u201211._) so that he was clearly\nand distressingly sensible of his death _in trespasses and sins_. His\nconvictions and anguish of spirit became therefore more afflictive than\never.\n\nThe small cessation from pain which his relinquishing _popery_ afforded,\nserved now, only to augment his sorrow, to find that after all, the\n_great affair_ was yet to do. And such was his present anxiety, that\nhe even forgot, or neglected to eat his bread. \u201cMy conscience (says he)\nstill condemned me, there was no rest in my bones by reason of sin.\u201d\nAnd yet meaning to make sure work, he desired to know the uttermost of\nhis evil and danger. To this end he read those passages, both divine\nand human, which seemed most to condemn him: \u201cFor I was willing (adds\nhe) to know the worst of my condition: not indeed that this was always\nthe case. Sometimes the devil, and the corruption of my nature so far\nprevailed as to hush my conscience, and drown my convictions, by a\nvariety of thoughts, and things.\u201d\n\nThus far did he labour through the furnace of heart-tormenting conflict;\nassaulted on the one hand by the _Romanists_, who still wrought him\nall the trouble they could, both by calumny and contention: And on the\nother, by _the ruler of the darkness of this world_; _Satan_ and his\nemissaries, seeking to devour him. Our Lord\u2019s words, _John xvi.\u00a021._\nwere literally verified in him; as indeed they are more or less, in\nevery one that is truly _born again_. He travailed in birth, and was\nin sorrow, and pain to be delivered. The agony of his heart frequently\nextorted from him, complaints to this effect, _the sorrows of death\nhave compassed me about, and the pains of hell have got hold upon me_!\nHe found trouble and heaviness. In his distress he cried unto the Lord,\nand said, _O Lord I beseech thee deliver my soul! I am oppressed,\nundertake for me!_\n\nAnd thus he remained for some time waiting, and longing for his God,\neven as the thirsty ground for showers. His sorrow it is true was often\ninterspersed with gleams of sweetly reviving hope. That yet a little\nwhile, and he whom he sought would come, and would not tarry, while his\nvery pulse still beat, _Make no long tarrying, O my God. Make haste my\nbeloved, and come away. Be thou like a roe, or a young hart upon the\nmountains of Bether._ The Lord did indeed wait to be gracious to him,\nand was exalted in having mercy upon him. He brought _to the birth_,\nand gave _strength to bring forth_. For the spirit of heaviness, he\nafterwards received the garments of praise, and for mourning the oil of\njoy.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VI.\n\n _Of some particulars previous to his conversion._\n\n\nAFTER having made use of every means, which either men or books could\nsuggest, but without the desired effect, (being now in the nineteenth\nyear of his age) as he returned to his lodging one evening in the city\nof _Limerick_, March\u00a017, 1749, he saw an uncommonly large concourse\nof people assembled in a place called the _Parade_ adjoining to the\nmain street. He turned aside to see what it meant; and perceiving a\nman preaching to the people in the open air (a thing then quite new\nin _Ireland_,) he eagerly stopped to know what he said. And hearing\nhim (Mr. R.\u00a0S.) from _Matthew xi.\u00a028._ affectionately, and earnestly\nentreat all persons to _come to_ Jesus Christ, _that they might\nfind rest to their souls_: and withal exhorting them to search the\nscriptures, and see for themselves if what he said was not true; it\nfilled him with wonder, and with desire to know more of this matter.\n\nHe had of a long time sorely felt the want of rest, that is, happiness\nin his soul. And notwithstanding all his endeavours to obtain it, like\nthe poor woman in the gospel,\u00b9 who _had spent all that she had upon\nphysicians and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse_, his case\nbecame every day more insupportable. A pressing invitation therefore\nto partake of, and an assurance of finding the very thing he so wanted,\ncould not fail of being acceptable to him.\n\n \u00b9 Mark v.\u00a025.\n\nSo impenetrable is the abyss of God\u2019s judgments! _Great things doth he,\nwhich who can comprehend!_ He had prepared the soul of his servant to\nreceive with inexpressible joy, the gospel of peace, and sent it him in\na way which he least of all expected, and which the wisdom of man would\nnever have made choice of, Thus,\n\n While yet he toil\u2019d, a sudden cry\n Proclaim\u2019d th\u2019 approaching multitude,\n Who told of Jesus passing by,\n Of free redemption in his blood:\n Upstarted light, the beggar blind,\n He sprang the healing touch to meet,\n Cast all his filthy rags behind,\n And groan\u2019d for faith at Jesu\u2019s feet.\n\n\u201cBut here (says he) it may be needful, in order the better to\nunderstand some particulars which will be hereafter related, to premise\n\u2666a few things relative to this preacher, and the people to whom he\nbelonged, 1st, he was one of the people called _Methodists_, and a\nmember of the church of _England_. 2dly, This people began to preach\nChrist, and justification thro\u2019 his blood, about the year 1738, having\nhad their beginning at _Oxford_, in the Rev. Mr. _John_ and _Charles\nWesley_; the former a fellow of _Lincoln College_, and the latter,\nstudent of _Christ Church_. These two brothers having obtained mercy\nthemselves, were called of God to publish his love to others likewise,\nby preaching the gospel of the kingdom, to every creature that would\nhear the _joyful sound_. Accordingly, out they go into the lanes\nand highways, crying in the _voice of wisdom_ to the _sons of men_,\nbeseeching and compelling sinners to turn to God, to come to that\n_feast of marrow and fat things_, which he hath prepared for all who\nwill but accept of life and salvation.\u201d\u00b9\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201ca\u201d removed\n\n \u00b9 See Luke xiv. 16\u201224. Proverbs viii. 1\u20125. and compare with\n Proverbs i.\u00a024.\n\n\u201cAfter these servants of God had been thus employed for some time, it\npleased their divine Master, to send forth other labourers also into\nhis harvest, to assist in the same blessed work: not indeed such as\nhuman wisdom would have appointed, the great or wise men of this world;\nbut quite the contrary: the poor (for the most part) and as St. _Paul_\nsays, the _base_ and _weak_, that thus, leaving no room for boasting or\nglorying in man, _whoso glorieth might glory in the Lord_.\u201d\u00b9\n\n \u00b9 1 Corinthians i. 25\u201231.\n\n\u201cSome of these, after preaching the gospel in the streets and highways,\nto their own countrymen, brought the _glad tidings_ to _Ireland_ also;\nwhere, going about from place to place, thro\u2019 cities and villages, they\nfreely declared, what they had so freely received, to every one that\nwould hear. And glory be to God, their labour of love was not in vain.\nHe that sent them, gave their word his blessing, so that many received\nit gladly; and having felt its power, to this day bring forth fruit\nwith patience; the fruit of righteousness, to the glory of God.\u201d\n\nIt was some weeks before he had opportunity of hearing them again,\nbeing obliged to take care of his school in the country. On his next\nreturn to _Limerick_ he heard another of them (Mr. _T.\u00a0W._) and liked\ntheir preaching still better. But his fondness for, and attachment\nto the word of God, would not admit of his taking things of so high a\nnature upon trust. He therefore compared their doctrine with the word\nof God, and with the _articles_ and _homilies_ (which were now likewise\nhis secondary, standards of truth) of the church of _England_; and\n\u201cI found it, (says he) to be consonant with both. I became daily more\nand more attached to them, and their manner of living encreased my\naffection for them. They appeared to me to be true followers of Christ,\nand his apostles, adorning the doctrine of God in all things.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen they had preached the gospel at _Limerick_ for some time, they\ncame over to _New-Market_, a village where I then resided, about eight\nmiles from thence. In a little time there was a society formed, (so\nthey called those who met weekly together, in order to sing the praises\nof God, to pray to him, and to help each other on to heaven.) To these\nI joined myself a member, _September\u00a029, 1749_, in order to be more\nfully instructed in the way of salvation.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VII.\n\n _Giving a farther account of the state of his soul,\n particularly of his deep convictions._\n\n\nGOD had, by this time, made plain his way before his face. His holy\nword had fully informed his understanding, how a sinner can find\nfavour with God. His scruples were all removed, and he wanted only the\npossession of what he saw as at a distance; to _know_, by experience,\n_the certainty of those things wherein he had been instructed_.\n\nHis soul reached out with vehemency of desire to the _mark of the prize\nof_ his _high calling_. But yet he could not _lay hold on the hope\nset before_ him. He could not break the bondage of unbelief, of which\nhe was now deeply convinced, and under which he groaned continually.\nIn short, he felt what cannot be easily explained: the sorrows and\nstrugglings, as well as joys, of the truly regenerate, being of such\na nature, that strangers to that happy change can have very imperfect\nconceptions of. (1\u00a0Chronicles ii.\u00a011.)\n\n*He particularly describes the manner, in which he perceived himself\nwrought upon, as follows,\n\n\u201c1st. The Lord convinced me of my bosom sin, that which did most easily\nbeset me; representing the heinousness of it in various circumstances.\u201d\n\n\u201c2dly. All my other abominations: sins in general, of omission, and\ncommission were set in array before me, as an army ready to devour me;\nor, as so many devils ready to tear me in pieces. God wrote them down\nin large characters, so that I might well say, _My sins were ever\nbefore me_.\u201d\n\n\u201c3dly. I was clearly convinced, that not only my sins, but likewise\nwhat I called my duties, were an abomination unto the Lord. My\n_righteousness_ appeared _as filthy rags_. The _corrupt tree could not\nbring forth good fruit_.\u201d\n\n\u201c4thly. The same spirit convinced me, that I was an unbeliever; that\nI had not true faith, and therefore no part nor lot in the Lord Jesus\nChrist. As an unbeliever I was _condemned already, and the wrath of God\nabode upon_ me, (John iii.) I assented indeed to every thing revealed\nin the bible; yet I now clearly perceived, I lacked the very true,\nChristian faith. I learned from the _Methodists_, so called, and had\nit confirmed to me by the New Testament, that whosoever has true faith,\nhas with it the remission of sins,\u00b9 and is at peace with God. I read,\nthat _whosoever believeth, is born of_ God; and _he that is born of_\nGod _sinneth not_:\u00b2 but I sinned, and thence inferred, I had not faith,\nneither was _born of_ God.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 \u2666Romans iv.\u00a05. and v.\u00a01. and viii.\u00a01. John iii.\u00a018.\n Acts. xiii.\u00a039. 1\u00a0John v.\u00a010.\n\n \u00b2 1 John iii.\u00a09. and v.\u00a01.\n\n \u2666 Arabic chapter numbers replaced with Roman numerals for\n consistency.\n\n\u201c5thly. I was deeply convinced, that I could not help myself; that I\nwas utterly unable to work, either repentance, faith or holiness in my\nown soul, and that it was by grace alone I could be saved.\u201d\n\n\u201c6thly. I was without comfort, and miserable. My soul was grieved, and\nmy heart fainted within me. I found labour and sorrow beyond expression.\nWorldly comforts availed nought. I had no rest night or day. When I\nprayed I was troubled; when I heard a sermon, I was pierced as with\ndarts and arrows. Whenever I either read or conversed, still I was\nbroken and bruised in heart. Thus was I stripped of all, and wretched,\nand blind and naked; having neither faith nor power, holiness nor\nhappiness. Truly there was no sound part in me. All was _wounds and\nbruises, and putrifying sores_. Often I could neither sleep nor eat.\nThe affliction of my soul so affected my body, that at length I was\nobliged to take to my bed.\u201d\n\n\u201c7thly. I saw by the same light of the holy Spirit, the ground of all\nthis, namely, _Original sin_. This I felt was the source of all my\nmisery and helplessness. _By one man sin entered into the world, and\ndeath by sin, and so death passed upon all, for that all have sinned._\u00b9\nHere I saw the root of all evil. Hence are we _children of wrath_;\nbanished from God, and the tree of life.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 Romans v.\u00a012.\n\nThis was his state about the year 1749. And in substance, I believe\n(tho\u2019 all do not so circumstantially attend to it) this agrees with the\nexperience of most of the children of God.\n\nOne would not however attempt to fix a determinate point: making the\nprogress of the work of God in one, or a thousand persons, a standard\nby which to judge of the genuineness of the experience of others.\n_There are diversities of operations by the same spirit. But it is the\nsame God, who worketh all in all._\n\nWith some souls, it pleaseth our Lord to deal more gently, than with\nothers; as (to mention no more examples) in the case of _Lydia_, and\nthe _jaylor_, (Acts xvi.) The latter, trembling and terrified, _fell\ndown_, prostrate, before _Paul_ and _Silas_, and said, in the utmost\nconsternation, _What must I do to be saved!_ While the former, without\nany such previous terror, had her heart gently _opened to attend unto_,\nand receive the words of eternal life, _which were spoken of Paul_. And\nthere are no doubt, thousands of resembling instances at this day.\n\nBut in general, it may be observed, that with regard to those, whom\nGod intends for the service of other souls, he gives them to feel,\nas they are able to bear, the uttermost of their nature\u2019s death; the\nbitterness and desert of the sin that dwells in the heart, as well as\nthe wicked works of their life, before he shews them his salvation;\nthat being feelingly acquainted with the evil nature of sin, and the\nwretchedness of an unregenerate state, they may be the better capable\nof sympathizing with, and counselling others in like circumstances; and\nbe quickened in their endeavours of saving souls from death.\n\nBut in _all_ who are begetting again to newness of life, there is a\ndeep consciousness of want. And there never has been an instance of\ntrue conversion among grown persons, where the soul did not previously\nfeel its poverty, guilt, or danger, in a greater or less degree. Our\nSaviour heals none who have not a _feeling_ want, producing earnest\ndesires of being healed. It is the _weary_ and the _heavy laden_, whom\nhe calls to come to him, that they may find rest to their souls. He is\nthe _living bread_, and _the water of life_, for which, only awakened\nsouls hunger and thirst, and with which alone, they can be satisfied.\n\nHaving mentioned St. _Austin_, with reference to the usual manner of\nour Lord\u2019s dealing with souls, intended for the service of others; and\nconsidering the resemblance, which in some parts of his experience,\nthere is, with the experience of him before us, I persuade myself it\nwill not be unacceptable to some readers, to subjoin a short account of\nthe travail of his soul, above fourteen hundred years ago, in his own\nwords.\n\n\u201cThou, O Lord, didst turn me about towards myself; and tookest me from\nbehind my back, where I had placed me, whilst I had no mind to observe\nmyself, that I might see how deformed a thing I was; covered over with\nscabs and ulcers: and I beheld, and abhorred.\u2015\u2015But I, then a wretched\nyoung man, had in the first dawning of my youth, begged of thee\nchastity; and had said, _Give me chastity; but yet awhile do not give\nit_. For I feared thou shouldst hear me too soon, and presently heal\nme of that disease and concupiscence which I wished, rather might be\nsatiated than extinguished.\u2015\u2015But now was the day come, in which I was\nlaid naked to myself, and my conscience began to reproach me.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015I was\ninwardly corroded, and extremely confounded.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u2015\u2015Amidst this great controversy within, which I hotly disputed with my\nsoul, troubled as well in countenance as in mind,\u2015\u2015my eyes, forehead,\ncheeks, colour, the accent of my voice more spoke my passion than words\ncould.\u2015\u2015There was a little garden belonging to my lodging, which I had\nthe use of. Thither this tumult in my breast carried me away, where\nnone might hinder the hot contention which was engaged within me, until\nconcluded in that issue, which thou already knewest, but not I. Only\nI was in suffering a death that would beget life: well knowing what\nevil I then was; not knowing what good, within a little while, I was to\nbe.\u2015\u2015I fretted my spirit, whilst all my bones cried out.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015From whence\nsuch a monster? Let thy mercy enlighten me, and let me enquire, Whence\nsuch a monster? and how can this be?\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u201d\n\n\u201cThus I was accusing myself much more severely than formerly, and\nwinding to and fro in my chain; a small piece only of which now held\nme; yet held me still. And thou, O Lord, pressedst sore upon me in mine\ninner parts, with a severe mercy, redoubling the lashes of fear and\nshame.\u2015\u2015And the point of time, in which I was to become another man, as\nit approached nearer, struck me with more horror. Yet it did not make\nme to recoil, or turn away; but only to stand in a suspense.\u201d\n\n*\u201cSuch was the contest acted within my heart.\u2015\u2015But as soon as more\nprofound meditation had drawn out, from the very bottom of this\nsink, and laid on an heap, all my misery before the view of my soul;\nthere arose in me a mighty tempest, bringing with it great showers of\ntears.\u2015\u2015I, under a certain fig-tree, threw down myself, I know not how,\nand gave liberty to my tears; and the rivers of my eyes ran a-pace. And\nI said, _Thou, Lord, how long? How long wilt thou be angry, for ever?\nRemember not my former iniquities_, Psalms lxxix. 5,\u00a08. For I well\nperceived I was still possessed, and with-held by them, and therefore\ncast out such miserable complaints, _How long? How long? To-morrow, and\nto-morrow? Why not presently? Why not this very hour, an end to my\nfilthiness._\u201d\n\n*\u201cThese things I uttered as I wept with bitter contrition: and behold,\nI heard a voice as from a neighbouring house, as of a boy or girl, in\na singing note, saying, and often repeating; _tolle, lege; tolle, lege;\ntake up and read; take up and read_. And presently my countenance being\naltered, I began to consider, whether children were wont in any kind\nof play to sing such words: nor could I call to mind that I any where\nheard the like.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhereupon, suppressing the course of my tears, I rose up, interpreting\nit to be a divine admonition, that I should open the book, and read\nthe place I first light upon.\u2015\u2015So getting up hastily, I returned to\nthe place where I had been sitting before, for there I had left St.\n_Paul_\u2019s epistles. I catched it up, opened it, read in silence the\npiece of the chapter on which I first cast mine eyes; _not in rioting\nand drunkenness; not in chambering and wantonness; not in strife and\nenvying: but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision\nfor the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof_. Romans xiii.\u00a013.\u201d\n\n\u201cI could read no farther, nor was there need: for at the end of those\nlines, as it were with a new light of confidence streaming into my soul,\nthe darkness of all former doubting and hesitancy was dispelled.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u201d\n\n*\u201cO Jesus Christ, my helper, and my Redeemer! How sweet on a sudden\nbecame it to me, to submit my neck to thy easy yoke, and my shoulders,\nunto thy light burden.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015And what before, it was my fear to lose,\nhow was it now my joy to dismiss! For thou the true, and the supreme\nsweetness, didst expel them from me: thou expelledst them and thyself\nenteredst into me instead of them: more delicious than all delights,\nbut not to flesh and blood: more bright and glorious than all light,\nbut to the inward hidden man, exalted above the heights of all honour,\nbut not to those who exalt themselves.\u2015\u2015And now my infant tongue began\nto converse with thee, my ambition, and my riches, and my salvation, my\nLord God!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VIII.\n\n _Of his finding rest to his soul._\n\n\nALTHOUGH the night had hitherto hung upon his soul, yet he frequently\nsaw the promise of deliverance at a distance. But now _the day-spring\nfrom on high_ began to dawn upon him. The manner of which he describes\nas follows,\n\n\u201cHaving given an account of my convictions, I think it may not be\nimproper to relate likewise, how the promise was fulfilled in me. And\nthis also is the work of the Holy Ghost, convincing _of righteousness\nas he_ doth of _sin_.\n\n\u201c1st. He kindled in my soul earnest desires towards God. There was\na tenderness in my heart. It began to warm and dissolve after it was\nbroken by the law, and scorched by the wrath of God; and to be a little\ncomforted and encouraged.\n\n*\u201c2dly. Light began to spring up in my mind. I saw at length, not\nmy guilt only, but likewise the all sufficiency of Christ, and his\natonement. I was convinced that he came _to seek and to save_ lost\nsinners: that _he tasted death for every man_; that he _willeth all men\nto be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth_, in order thereto.\nO what a glorious view had I of the mercy of God in giving his Son, and\nof the unspeakable love and pity of Christ in dying for sinners. I was\nconstrained to cry out, Lord, _what manner of love is this_, wherewith\nthou has loved us! What is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of\nhim! But I could not yet say that _I_ had _redemption in the blood of_\nChrist, _the forgiveness of_ my _sins_. I did not experience the merit\nof his death applied to _my_ soul.\n\n\u201c3dly. But I had strong hope that God would be merciful to my\nunrighteousness, and blot out my sins for his name sake. I could\nsee the promise and pardon held forth to me, though as yet I was not\nable to lay hold of them. At certain seasons indeed I could be almost\nconfident that there was _no condemnation_ to me; and could venture my\nsoul upon Christ, for life and salvation. But this soon vanished away,\nwhich convinced me it was not justifying faith, else the witness would\nbe in my heart; for _he that believeth on the Son of |God| hath the\nwitness in himself.\u00b9 And because ye are sons, |God| hath sent forth the\nspirit of his Son into your heart crying, Abba, Father._\u00b2\n\n \u00b9 _1 John v.\u00a010._\n\n \u00b2 _Galatians iv.\u00a06._\n\n\u201c4thly. There was kindled in my soul a still more vehement thirst after\nChrist. Nothing could now satisfy me short of the assured knowledge,\nthat I had an interest in his blood. My soul was sick with fervent\nlongings. I esteemed all things but dung and dross for the excellency\nof the knowledge of Christ Jesus. He appeared altogether lovely to\nme. I beheld all glory, all happiness, all riches, and honour in the\nSaviour. I had no desire after other things: all relish for them was\ngone, \u2018Give me Christ, or else I die!\u2019 Sin lost its power, so that\nno sin had dominion over me. I was so taken up in beholding the Lord\nJesus, in reading and in prayer, that I had no desire of any thing else.\nNeither _the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye_, nor _the pride\nof life_, had any power over me. But yet I could not say, I was then a\nbeliever. I had indeed an utter hatred to all sin, and power to forsake\nevery thing that I believed to be offensive to God, and contrary to the\nholy will of my Lord Jesus, whom I sought and desired above all things\nvisible or invisible.\n\n\u201c5thly. And now, about four months after my most deep awakenings, and\njoining the _Methodist_ society, the clear day began to shine and the\nLord, who _is rich in mercy_ visited me with his salvation. He brought\nme out of the horrible pit, and miry clay, and set my feet upon the\nrock Christ Jesus. The particular manner of which was as follows,\n\n\u201cComing into the room where we were accustomed to meet together, to\nhear the word of exhortation; before preaching began, I sat musing.\nMy soul was looking out and longing for Christ, as the watchman for\nthe morning. The congregation being assembled, the servant of God (Mr.\nW.\u00a0T.) poured out his soul in prayer. And as he prayed, the power of\nthe Lord came down in the midst of us. The _windows of heaven_ were\nopened, and the _skies poured down righteousness_. My heart melted\nlike wax before the fire; especially at the mention of those words,\n_Who is this that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from Bozrah?\nThis that is glorious in his apparel travelling in the greatness of\nhis strength?_ And again, at the singing those words in the hymn.\n\n \u201cBehold the Saviour of mankind,\n Nail\u2019d to the shameful tree!\n How vast the love that him inclin\u2019d\n To bleed, and die for thee!\n \u2019Tis done! the precious ransom\u2019s paid;\n Receive my soul he cries;\n See, where he bows his sacred head!\n He bows his head and dies.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe former words in the prayer, and these in the hymn, came with such\npower to my heart that I was constrained to cry out, _Bless the |Lord|,\nO my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name; for he hath\nforgiven all mine iniquity, and healed my diseases_.\n\n\u201cAnd now I was divinely assured that God, for Christ\u2019s sake, had\nforgiven me all my sins. The Spirit of God bore witness with my spirit\nthat I was a child of God. _Mercy and truth met together_ in my heart;\n_righteousness and peace kissed each other_. Yea, so great was the\ndeliverance, and so strong the consolation, that I could not contain\nmyself. I broke out into tears of joy and love, having obtained such\nmercy I could not but join with the angels to sing praises to _him that\nsitteth upon the throne, and to the Lamb_, who so loved me, and washed\nme from my sins, in his own blood. A new song was indeed put into my\nmouth, even of thanksgiving unto my God.\n\n*\u201cI had often in private cried aloud to God, yet it was not till\nnow, that I did so in the congregation. But my wound being healed, a\nnecessity was laid upon me to declare what the Lord had done for my\nsoul. In the same hour another who sat next to me was filled with joy\nand peace in believing. We both withdrew to another room, and gave\nthanks and praise to God together.\n\n\u201cAnd now I felt of a truth that faith in Christ, is _the substance_ or\nsubsistance _of things hoped for_, and an _evidence of things not seen_.\nGod, and the things of the invisible world, of which I had only heard\nbefore by _the hearing of the ear_, appeared now in their true light,\nas substantial realities, and for him.\n\n*\u201cI could now lay hold on Christ, and the promises of God through him.\nFaith in his blood brought heaven into my breast, and filled me with\n_righteousness, and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost_. It gave me to\nsee a reconciled God, and an all sufficient Saviour. And thus was it\nan _evidence_ to me. Through this faith I could say, Christ loved _me_,\nand gave himself for _me_. O this is the gift of God! _Faith of the\noperation of the Holy Ghost._\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IX.\n\n _Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of God, and the\n happy effects which it produced in him._\n\n\nHE lived now as in another world. _Behold God is my salvation_, went\nthrough the whole of his heart and conduct. His soul was delighted with\nthose good things reserved for, and enjoyed only by such as love God.\nHe so _tasted_ that the Lord is gracious, as left no room, at present,\nfor evil reasonings, and engrossed his whole body and soul for God. The\noverflowings of his joy corresponding with his former sorrow, rendered\nhim happy beyond all description.\n\nAnd this, as may be observed in the experience of the faithful,\nis commonly the case; the peace and joy of justified souls, being\nusually proportionate to their previous distress; God in this respect\nlikewise, comforting them according to the time wherein he had shewed\nthem trouble. The grand enquiry is \u201cAm I really converted? Am I _now_\nat peace, and in fellowship with God my Saviour?\u201d If so, is not the\nprecise _how_ immaterial? Such persons then as have been led by slow,\nand gradual steps; who have by a comparatively easy transition passed\n_from darkness to light_, Let them give glory to their deliverer, and\nnot, on this account, perplex themselves with scruples for having been\nso gently dealt with. Let them live only for Him, and they shall be\nfinally approved, in the presence of God and of his holy angels.\n\nHis happiness now received daily increase from the undoubted assurances\nwhich he received of the genuine change.\n\nHe observes, \u201cthe more I compare my experience with the word of God,\nand with the experience of his children, I am the more confirmed\nthat it is no delusion, no fancy; but a real work of God, a saving\nchange wrought in my soul by the Spirit of God, through faith in the\nLord Jesus Christ. I am persuaded however that the _natural man_,\n(_1 Corinthians ii.\u00a014._) cannot receive the things of the Spirit of\nGod. He has neither eyes to see, nor a heart to understand them. A\nstranger doth not intermeddle with this joy. It is _the hidden manna_,\nand the _white stone_, and the _new name_ (of adoption) written thereon,\n(_Revelation ii.\u00a017._) which no man knoweth save he that receiveth it.\nGlory, glory be to God on high!\n\n\u201cNow did I find the yoke of Christ to be easy indeed, and his burden\nlight. His thoughts and commandments were sweet to my soul, sweeter\nthan honey to my tongue. It was my comfort all the day long to praise\nmy Lord, and to walk in the ways which he set before me. He created me\nunto good works, and I chearfully walked in them.\u201d\n\nThe Love of God being thus shed abroad in his heart enabled him rightly\nto love his brother also. His soul was drawn out in good will and\ntender affection to every creature: neighbours and strangers, friends\nand enemies. \u201cI could (says he) unfeignedly love them that hated me,\nand pray for them that despitefully used and persecuted me!\u201d Thus truly\nevidencing himself, to be a child of his Father in heaven.\n\n*But he did not stop here. His soul thirsted more and more for all the\n_mind that was in Christ Jesus_. He followed after, and longed for, an\nentire renovation; for nearer and stronger union and communion with the\nLord Jesus: nor could he be at all easy, otherwise than in a free and\nnear access to him, and a sweet enjoyment of his gracious presence. His\nconstant cry was, \u201cMake me holy. Fulfil in me all the good pleasure of\nthy goodness, and the work of faith with power.\u201d For this he struggled,\nand pleaded much with God.\n\nThis was early his mark, and the glorious prize at which he aimed\nthroughout the residue of his christian race.\n\nHis enjoyments were hitherto, with scarce the smallest alloy, having\nhad, not so much as a doubt concerning the _reality_ of what had passed\nin his soul. The fury of the oppressor was so restrained, and the\nlight of divine truth so abode with him, that he continually set to\nhis seal that God _is love_, and taketh pleasure in the prosperity of\nhis children. All fear of death and hell was removed from him; neither\nhad sin any dominion over him. \u201cGod (says he) gave me the victory thro\u2019\nour Lord Jesus Christ, whose righteousness was imputed to me for the\nremission of my sins!\u201d\n\n\u201cTherefore did I know that I was a child of God, _under grace_, because\nsin did not reign in my mortal body, that I should obey it in the\ndesires thereof. If so much as an evil thought was at any time injected,\nor the remains of the _old man_ began to stir in me, I had immediate\npower to resist and overcome them!\n\n\u201cTempted indeed I was; but in every temptation there was a way made\nfor my escape. Whenever the enemy came in upon me as a flood, Jesus\nappointed _salvation for walls and bulwarks_ around me. He lifted up a\nstandard against him, and frustrated all his counsels: for _greater is\nhe that was in_ me, _than he that is in the world_.\n\n*\u201cI may say in few words, that the kingdom of God was _within me_.\nI fed upon marrow and fatness, and with comfort drew water out of\nthe wells of salvation. Sin, and temptation, and pain fled before the\nLord Jesus, who _dwelt in my heart by faith_. I _walked_ and talked\n_with_ God all the day long. Whatsoever I believed to be his will, I\ndid to the uttermost of my power, with my whole heart. Prayer, reading,\nfasting, watching, communicating, and Christian fellowship, were the\njoy of my soul. The commandments of God, and his holy laws, were my\ndelight. I not only rejoiced ever more, but prayed without ceasing, and\nin every thing gave thanks, whether I eat or drank, or whatever I did,\nit was indeed _in the name of the_ Lord Jesus, _and to the glory of_\nGod!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER X.\n\n _His employment among his Christian brethren, and the\n treatment he met with from the world._\n\n\n*THE treasure of light and love, which God had put into the soul of\nhis servant, began now, to shine clearly to others. They could easily\ndiscern an amazing change in his very aspect, as well as tempers, and\nconduct in general. The calm, and at the same time, divine chearfulness\nand serenity of his soul, rendered him a desirable, as well as useful\nmember of their religious meetings. And the loving zeal which he felt\nfor promoting the glory of his dying God, prompted him to exert himself\nwith much fervour in the service of his neighbour.\n\nThus with a heart set on fire, to pay, at least some small returns, for\nall that ocean of mercy, and love which he had experienced in himself,\nhe sought opportunities, and embraced every occasion of imparting all\nthe good which he possibly could to others; till it seemed good to\nthose who directed their religious exercises to appoint him leader of\na class, (so called) that is, a little company of Christian friends,\nmutually agreed to meet together weekly, in order to their furtherance\nin the way of godliness: one person of which was stiled leader.\n\nThis was the little office assigned him at present, in which \u201cMy\nbusiness (says he) was, 1st. To see each person in my class once a\nweek, and if any were absent, to enquire into the cause. 2.\u00a0Whenever\nwe met together, to sing psalms or hymns, and to pray with them. 3.\u00a0To\nexamine how their souls prospered, and what progress they had made the\npreceeding week in the way of the Lord?\u201d Whether they were unanimously\ndetermined to serve God with their whole heart? If any had fallen into\nsin, they were reproved; if tempted, they were comforted and encouraged;\nand those who ran well, adorning their profession in all things, were\nexhorted still to press forward, and give glory to God.\n\nAfter a faithful, and friendly examination of each other (between\nwhich and the Popish _Auricular Confession_, with which some have\nerroneously or unkindly \u2666parallel\u2019d it, there is scarce the most\ndistant resemblance) they concluded with praising God and prayers\nsuited to their several conditions.\n\n \u2666 \u201cparrallel\u2019d\u201d replaced with \u201cparallel\u2019d\u201d\n\nBut besides this, he met with the whole society two or three times\na week, when with praises and prayers, there was always a word of\nexhortation preached or read. And it pleased God, to testify his\napprobation thereof, by the singular display of his presence amongst\nthem; by replenishing their souls with abundance of his grace and\nheavenly benediction.\n\n*And, \u201cO (adds he) how wonderfully did we experience the power, and\nlove of God, whenever we made prayer and supplication to him! We had a\nheaven among us; a paradise within us! The Lord poured such peace and\njoy into our hearts, and we were often so happy that we did not know\nhow to part. We lived as brethren, and strove together for _the hope of\nthe gospel_. We were of one heart, and of one mind, in the presence of\nGod. And is not this the communion of Saints?\u201d\n\n So dear the tye, where souls agree\n In Jesu\u2019s dying love;\n Then only can it closer be,\n When all are join\u2019d above!\n\nMean time, his hitherto undisturbed repose, began to be sorely\nassaulted. His relations now took a second alarm. \u201cThey thought (says\nhe) That I was turned heretic altogether.\u201d To forsake the church of\n_Rome_, and declare himself a member of the church of _England_, was\nbad enough, and with them matter of much displeasure; but to become a\n_Methodist_ beside!\u00b9 This they judged the very consummation of apostacy,\nand gave him up as undone for ever. And it was not only his kindred,\nwho so judged of him, \u201cBut (adds he) my neighbours in general were\nlike-minded with my relations, and not only those of the church of\n_Rome_; but several likewise who called themselves Protestants. They\nwere extremely angry that I should, as they called it, \u2018change my\nreligion.\u2019\u201d\n\n \u00b9 In _reality_ this is no alteration of the case; it is in\n this respect no more than a _name_: a true _Methodist_\n (for _they are not all Israel who are called Israel_) being\n no other than a true Churchman. They make not so much as\n a pretence to be a distinct, independant body of people.\n They are properly a _religious society_, (not a new thing\n in _England_) consisting, for the most part of professed\n members of the church of _England_; whose only design is\n to promote among each other, and mankind in general, the\n genuine religion of Jesus Christ.\n\n\u201cAnd now did I see plainly, that persons of every denomination, who\nare yet in their sins, under the guilt and power of them, are at\nenmity against Christ. And that Protestants, as well as Papists, have\n_naturally_ a spirit of calumny and persecution.\u201d Alas, names and\nopinions, what are they? They do not, cannot alter the nature of men\nor things; and experience abundantly shews, how little influence they\nhave over \u2666the tempers and life of the generality of mankind. \u201cReformed\nand unreformed (adds he) I found it to be just alike; and that many who\nspoke against the _Pope_ and _Inquisition_ were themselves in reality\nof the same spirit.\u201d\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cthe\u201d removed\n\n\u201cWhen I was first converted, I had no notion that people could hate,\nand speak evil of me, for fearing God, and working righteousness.\u00b9\nBut experience has taught me otherwise, I soon found the truth of the\napostle\u2019s words, That _all who will live godly in Christ Jesus, shall\nsuffer persecution_, (2\u00a0Timothy iii.\u00a012.) relations, acquaintance, and\nneighbours, rich and poor, old and young, clergy and laity, were all\nagainst me. Some said I was an hypocrite; others that I was mad; others,\njudging more favourably, that I was deceived. Many that before thought\nwell; yea, highly of me, knew not how to harbour a good thought of me.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 This is not indeed the _avowed_ reason of the opposition\n which the world has in all ages made to the servants\n of Christ. But that it is the _true_ one the scriptures\n abundantly testify.\n\nBut when God speaks powerfully to the heart, the sentiments and words\nof men, be they flattering or threatning, make but little impression.\nHe was therefore so far from being moved by this treatment, that it\nbecame to him, rather a confirmation of the doctrine of the Son of God,\nwho says, expressly, _Wo unto you, when all men shall speak well of you;\nand blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and\nshall say all manner of evil of you falsely for my name-sake_.\n\n\u201cOf a truth the _world lieth in the wicked one_. And they who are after\nthe flesh, will hate and persecute them that are after the Spirit.\nThe devil hates Christ and his children. It is the Spirit of Christ in\nhis children, which that evil spirit in the _children of disobedience_\nso violently opposes. The spirit of the world _lusteth to envy_. The\ndevil envied _Adam_; so did _Cain_ his brother _Abel_: and as it has\nbeen of old time, so it is at this day. _Light can have no communion\nwith darkness, neither Christ with Belial._ In this respect, _there\nis nothing new under the sun_; but _that which hath been, is the thing\nthat is_. The true worshippers of God, under the old Testament, and the\nsincere disciples of Christ, under the new, have been evil treated by\nthose among whom they lived. They hated them, because their works were\nrighteous. And so it is even now.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER XI.\n\n _His providential appointment to labour for the good of his\n neighbour, by preaching the gospel._\n\n\nHE had from his first thorough awakening, a love to, and concern for\nthe souls of others. The same cause which made him so solicitous for\nhis own salvation, produced in him a tender sympathy for the souls\nof his neighbours, and the apprehensions he had of his own danger,\nimpelled him to warn others also. The hand of God was, no doubt, in\nthis, as well as in the whole series of his preceeding conversion. His\nadorable wisdom, had appointed him an instrument of saving souls from\nendless misery; having first prepared him for it (without his knowledge\nof any such design) by the hell, and heaven, so to speak, of his own\nexperience.\n\nEven before he had obtained mercy, he began to warn others, exhorting\nall, with whom he had any sort of intercourse, to _flee from the wrath\nto come_. Thus (as he observes) \u201cwhile I was in unbelief myself, I\nsometimes forgot my own condition through eagerness of desire for the\nsalvation of other souls.\u201d\n\nMean time it was frequently impressed upon his mind, \u201cYou must preach\nthe gospel. Thou shalt bear public testimony to the truth of God,\u201d by\nopenly declaring his loving kindness, in the redemption of the world.\nBut he often resisted the thought, urging the impossibility thereof,\nfrom a variety of considerations, and saying in effect, _Send by whom\nthou wilt send; but send not me_.\n\nIndeed, though he might have never so much desired it, in submission to\nthe will of God; nevertheless, when the thought first presented itself\nto him, being a conscious unbeliever, he might have justly said, and it\nwas the language of his heart,\n\n \u201cHow shall I teach the world to praise?\n Unchang\u2019d my heart, unloos\u2019d my tongue?\n Give me the power of faith to prove,\n And Jesus shall be all my song.\u201d\n\nInfluenced by these kinds of considerations, he could not, while he\nremained himself under the bondage, think of publishing peace and\nliberty to others. But the case was, in some degree altered, after\nhe had tasted that the Lord is gracious. He was then drawn out more\nabundantly with love to souls, and his conviction became still stronger,\nthat he must preach Christ Jesus to the people.\n\nThis put him upon earnest prayer, and frequent fastings, to know,\nassuredly, the will of God, in a matter, which he rightly judged of\nso great moment. \u201cI prostrated myself before the Lord (says he) and\nintreated him, to shew me his pleasure herein; to convince me by his\nholy spirit, whether the thoughts of my heart were according to his\nholy will, and, whether I ought to speak in his name; or if I was\nunder a delusion, to shew me this also, and deliver me from it. I could\nappeal to the searcher of hearts, that I desired only to glorify him\nand do his will in all things.\u201d He conducted himself in it with all\npossible secresy; being even then persuaded, that the affairs of God\nare to be carried on without noise; and that no ostentation should be\nused even in forsaking all to serve Christ, in this or any other way.\nAnd yet to see him employed always for God, spending his time only in\nreading, writing, exhorting others, and in profound meditation, it was\neasy to imagine that he either projected something for God\u2019s glory,\nmore than could be executed by him in private; or, at least, that\nwhether he had any such design, or not, God meant it concerning him.\n\nHe still kept the affair within his own breast having mentioned it to\nno one person whatsoever; till from some words he occasionally dropped,\none day among his brethren, one of them gathered, that he had some\nthoughts of that kind. At length it became matter of much and earnest\nprayer, among the most serious of his Christian acquaintance, with whom,\nafterwards, he held frequent conversations on the head; being fearful\nof taking one step in a matter of so great importance, without the\nclearest intimations of the divine good-pleasure.\n\nHe well knew that to engage in the endeavour of saving souls from death,\nwas to commence war with _Satan_, and all the sons of disobedience;\nnevertheless, being at length persuaded of the will of God, and not\nknowing how soon he might be in another world, the great concernment\nof miserable souls, prevailed with him to engage in it; concluding that\nif but one or two persons, might by his means be won to God, it would\nrecompense any treatment he might meet with in the world. He was fully\ndisposed to sacrifice his reputation, as well as life, to advance the\nkingdom of the Son of God.\n\nHe judged that the knowledge of languages, and other branches of human\nliterature, are highly expedient, and in some cases necessary; but\nthat however, they are not absolutely so, in order to qualify a man\nfor preaching the gospel with success. He knew that he might understand\n_sound doctrine_, and _hold fast a form of sound speech_, without the\nknowledge of either _Latin_, _Greek_, or _Hebrew_. He nevertheless,\nat no time spoke disrespectfully of learning: quite the contrary; but\nyet perceived with adoration the truth of St. _Paul_\u2019s words, with\nreference to the divine \u0153conomy, in the management of the affairs\nof his kingdom: _After that in the wisdom of_ God; according to his\nwise disposals, leaving them to make the trial, _the world_, whether\n_Jewish_ or _Gentile_, _by_ all their boasted _Wisdom knew not_ God,\n_it pleased_ God _by the foolishness of preaching to save them that\nbelieve_. (1\u00a0Corinthians i.\u00a021.)\n\nHe well knew by this time, that it is _the inspiration of the Almighty_,\ngiving heavenly understanding, which only, avails here; that the most\nshining abilities, natural or acquired, without _the wisdom that is\nfrom above_, and the anointing of the Holy Ghost, are, in the account\nof God, in respect of _bringing sons to glory_, lighter than vanity;\nnor better than _sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal_. In fact, that\nthe learning of the world, used otherwise, than in subservience to the\ntrue interests of Jesus Christ, in teaching, and vindicating simplicity,\nand purity of heart, and subjection in life to him, rather feeds the\npride of human understanding, and makes a person more like _Satan_ than\nhe would be without it: but that rightly used, it is a good gift of God,\nand greatly conducive to his glory.\n\nIndeed from his earliest days, he did not neglect any means which was\nin his power, for the cultivating his understanding. But he now _set\nhimself_ to this point; impelled as it were thereto from his being more\nabundantly pressed in spirit, concerning the matter which he had so\nlong in debate with himself; which was now, every day, more plain to\nhim. He therefore applied with all diligence to what he judged the most\nsuitable studies; in which he spent the greatest part of his waking\nhours. The _word of life_ had however, the chief share of his attention.\nHe made this his one, favourite study and delight, from this time\nespecially, till he could work no longer.\n\nHe read it much upon his knees, in the spirit of prayer. The following\nis a specimen only, of his continued practice, \u201cLord Jesus, I lay my\nsoul at thy feet to be taught and governed by thee. Take the veil from\nthe mystery, and shew me the truth as it is in thyself. Be thou my sun\nand star, by day and by night!\u201d This was the way in which he sought for\nwisdom to win souls, and by which his profiting so visibly appeared to\nall men.\n\nHis increasing knowledge in the things of God, was an additional\nconfirmation to him, of the divine appointment concerning him. The\nhidden treasures, and depth of truth in God\u2019s word; his mysterious\nwisdom in the methods of salvation, were every day, more and more\nclearly revealed to him. The sealed book was now opened, and thereby,\nthrough the assistance of _the Spirit of truth_, his judgment grew\nclearer, and stronger, in the fundamental doctrines of repentance,\njustification and holiness. He professes that, if at any time he was\nin doubt concerning any point of doctrine, or the sense of any passage\nof scripture, his divine instructor convinced him, that either it\nwas not needful for him to know it then; or if it was, directed him,\neither immediately by himself, through some divine impression, or the\nprovidential provision of some person or book, whereby his doubts were\nalways solved.\n\nThe concern which he felt for the salvation of his neighbour still\nincreased upon him, and a burning desire that every body might be as\nhappy in the Lord Jesus, as he felt himself, engrossed all his thoughts.\n\u201cThe Spirit of God (says he) now convinced me clearly, not only of\nsin and of righteousness in my own soul, but likewise, how the work of\nconversion is to be carried on in the souls of others. I was athirst\nfor divine knowledge. I desired to be ever in the school of Christ,\nlearning the lessons of his grace. The glory of the Lord often passed\nbefore me in prayer, and the light of eternity shone upon my soul,\nwhile my Lord fed me as with marrow and fatness!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER XII.\n\n _He begins to preach._\n\n\nWHAT he had done hitherto, with reference to the conversion of souls,\nwas only as necessity obliged him. The peace, and perfection of\nhis own soul, being his main object of concern, till providence,\nhaving designed him for the ministry of the gospel, put him upon more\nextensive measures for promoting the kingdom of Christ.\n\nHe began to consider more nearly, that souls having cost our Saviour\nso dear, nothing could be done more acceptable to him than to prevent\ntheir loss; and that the glory of God\u2019s majesty, did most shine in\nthe salvation of sinners purchased with the blood of his Son. These\nconsiderations kindled in him such love to mankind, that he could no\nlonger refrain from exhorting, first his Christian brethren, with all\nfervour, to devote their hearts without reserve to God; and next, every\nsoul with whom he had any sort of intercourse. His heart bled for poor\ncareless sinners against God, and their own souls. The word of the\nLord was in him, so that he could not but speak. He knew not how to\nforbear publishing as on the house top, that infinite love which dealt\nso graciously with himself. \u201cIt is not enough that I serve our Lord:\nall hearts must love him, and all tongues must praise him!\u201d\n\nGod touched his heart in such a manner as to leave no doubt whether\nthis appointment was from heaven; and the concurrence of outward\nprovidences confirmed his internal persuasion. Thus, freed from all\nfarther wavering and irresolution, he entered upon that employment,\nwhich he verily believed, he would wish he had done at the hour of\ndeath, and in the day of judgment.\n\nDesirous therefore to exercise his Lord\u2019s talent, and the time\naffording a providential provision for it, even out of the ordinary way;\nhe took the opportunity of his present connexions, and without looking\nfarther, pursued the following measures. \u201cI opened, (says he) my mind\nto that man of God, the Rev. Mr. _John Wesley_. I spoke my thoughts\nfreely, and without disguise, desiring his advice on the occasion;\nwhich he sweetly and humbly gave me: adding withal, that I might\nwrite to him afterwards. I did so, giving him a brief account of my\nconversion to God, and of what I experienced in my soul concerning\npreaching. His answer was as follows,\n\n\u201cMy dear brother,\n\n\u201cIt is hard to judge what God has called you to, till trial is made.\nTherefore when you have an opportunity, you may go to _Shronil_,\nand spend two or three days with the people there. Speak to them in\n_Irish_.\u201d\n\n_Shronil_ is a village in the county of _Tipperary_, distant from the\nplace he then resided at _New-Market_, about thirty _English_ miles.\nThe inhabitants, many of whom were Protestant Dissenters, had sometime\nbefore gladly received the word of God from the _Methodists_. Thither\nhe went, accompanied by one of his own brothers, and another of his\nChristian brethren; having been commended to the grace of our Lord\nJesus Christ, by the earnest prayers of several of the children of God.\n\u201cWe walked it, (says he) and gave ourselves to prayer, conversing of\nthe things of the kingdom of heaven, and exhorting those we met with in\nthe way to fear the Lord, and depart from evil.\u201d\n\nThey arrived there the next day, which was in _July 1750_. The brethren\nreceived them kindly in the Lord, though they were unknown to them\nby face. And having had knowledge of his errand, and informed their\nneighbours, there assembled in the evening, a considerable congregation,\nto whom, for the first time, he preached the word of God, choosing for\nhis text, the words of St. _Paul_, _Therefore we conclude that a man is\njustified by faith without the deeds of the law_.\n\nHe did so again the next morning, on _Being justified by faith, we have\npeace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ_, (Romans v.\u00a01.) and in\nlike manner, morning and evening, during the few days he stayed among\nthem.\n\nAnd the Lord bore testimony to the word of his grace. For although some,\n(as has always been the case,) contradicted and mocked, yet others were\ndeeply affected, and some were _turned to the Lord_, \u201cSo gracious was\nGod (as he adds) to own the labour of his poor creature, and to bless\nthe word of his weakest and meanest messenger. Not unto me, but unto\nthy name be the glory! O God, thou hast done the work. Thou didst give\nthe word, and didst also apply it; for thou only canst turn the hearts\nof the disobedient to the wisdom of the just. O my God, stand by me\nstill; and as hitherto thou hast helped me, never leave nor forsake me:\nbut keep my soul in peace, and give me a humble, and a meek spirit. Let\nme labour diligently in thy _vineyard_, and spend my life and strength\nin the labour of love. Amen, Lord Jesus!\u201d\n\nThus have we brought to a conclusion what was proposed in this first\npart; having seen him from his youth, through the various travels of\nhis soul, the whole process of his conversion, till his heart being at\nliberty, he began to publish the _voice of_ wisdom to all around him.\nIt remains, to give some account of his labours, trials, and success\nin the Lord\u2019s work, together with the general tenor of his experience,\ntill God was pleased to call him hence.\n\n\n\n\n PART II.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _Of his entire application to preaching the gospel._\n\n\nIT being now, no longer matter of doubt, what the will of God was\nconcerning him; trial having been made, and the fruit answering to\nthe design, he resolved to defer no longer, stirring up the gift of\nGod which was in him. Setting aside therefore every other concern,\nand employment, he devoted himself entirely to the work of which he\nbelieved God had assigned him. He set out with a resolution to give\nhimself up wholly to the dictates of the _Holy Ghost_, and to be\nready to go what way soever the voice of heaven should call him. And\nthat his understanding might not be dissipated, and scattered upon\ndivers objects, and so have less force to enter deep into the things\nof God, he began his work with applying himself altogether to the\nstudy of the holy scriptures, and to prayer. And the proficiency which\nby those means he made daily, in _the wisdom that is from above_,\nquickly appeared. He truly laboured in the word, and faithfully and\nfervently enforced the divine truths he learned there from. His soul\nbecame strangely enlarged in labours of love for the salvation of his\nneighbour; while he imparted to them abundantly what God had so richly,\nand so freely bestowed upon him.\n\nThe words of our Lord Jesus Christ were in general exceeding precious\nto him; and from his first acquaintance with them, his whole delight\nand his counsellors. The whole of his following conduct to his death,\nseemed influenced by those words of Christ (applicable to all real\nChristians) _Ye are the salt of the earth. Ye are the light of the\nworld. A city set upon an hill cannot be hid: neither do men_ (much\nless God) _light a candle, to put it under a bushel_, that is, hide\nit; _but on a candlestick_, that it may give light to all about it.\n\nAnd now, the divine providence concurring with his convictions and\ninclination, made his way clear, to put into execution what he had been\nso long deliberating upon. Conferring therefore no longer with flesh\nand blood, and resolving to deny himself, and take up his cross to\nfollow Jesus, he bid farewel to his kindred, and to his acquaintance\nin general. Choosing the Lord for his sole portion, he literally left\nall, and went out into the wide world, entirely unanxious about what\nhe should eat, or what he should drink, or wherewithal he should be\ncloathed, being fully persuaded, that an entire reliance on God was\nall things. He went to spend his life in beseeching sinners to be\nreconciled to God. Thus,\n\n \u201cBy Christ himself ordain\u2019d and sent,\n An herald of redeeming grace,\n Eager to the highways he went,\n And fill\u2019d the land with Jesu\u2019s praise!\u201d\n\nThis was about the latter end of _August 1750_, when going from the\nplace of his nativity to _Limerick_, he had daily opportunity of\npublishing those glad tidings, which he first heard in that city, and\nwhich became the power of God to his salvation. At first, he commonly\nexpounded the scriptures every morning: and after a little while,\nboth evening and morning, with much earnestness exhorted and besought\nmultitudes, who attended his discourses, to _seek the_ Lord _while he\nmay be found_.\n\nAnd it pleased God immediately to bear testimony to _the word of his\ngrace_ by him. Several persons who heard him, and who, till then,\nhad been careless and utterly unconcerned about the matter, became\nseriously concerned for their salvation; while in the mean time others,\nwho had been deeply distressed with the guilt of sin, felt his word,\nthe power of God unto salvation.\n\nHe was about this time called to bear reproach for his work\u2019s sake. The\nminds of some persons became evil affected towards him. The interests\nof _the God of this world_, had already suffered loss by his zeal, and\nunwearied diligence, and they were in danger of suffering yet more.\n_Satan_ therefore by every means endeavoured to prevent the fruit of\nhis labours.\n\nHis unpolished youth; his roughness both of address and dialect, owing\npartly to natural temper, partly to having been brought up much in\nthe country, and partly to his having been formerly of the church of\n_Rome_\u00b9; but more than all, his being a native of that neighbourhood,\ngave some persons occasion for being deeply offended at him, who\nexpressed it by their unkind, and uncivil treatment towards him. This\nI had from some of the persons themselves, a considerable time after,\nwho mentioned it to their own reproach, that he, whom then they so\nloved and honoured was nevertheless, once the object of their scorn.\n\n \u00b9 There is in some parts of _Ireland_ a very remarkable\n difference between the _dialect_ of the _Protestants_, and\n _Romanists_, even of the same county or parish. What is\n called the _brogue_, in its excess is a sort of _Shibboleth_\n for the latter; and among the younger sort of Protestants\n especially, a term of reproach. I remember it was a very\n common objection to him, when he preached first in the town\n of my nativity.\n\nBut as he sought not his own things, neither strove to please man,\nhaving in view only the glory of God, and the good of souls, this\ndid not in the least damp his fervour, or retard his progress. As\nhe saw daily the fruit of his labours, so he was not to be hindered,\nor discouraged by any treatment of himself; rather he rejoiced in\n_contempt_ for his master\u2019s sake.\n\nHe had _put his hand to the plough_ (_Luke ix.\u00a062._) and having counted\nthe cost, settled it in his heart not to look back. He waxed still\nstronger, and grew every day more mighty in the scriptures, and in\nconformity to our Lord, as well as more instrumental in bringing others\nacquainted with _the only true_ God, and our Saviour Jesus Christ.\n\nThere are many instances of the good effects of these his first labours.\nIt plainly appeared that the word of God in his mouth was attended with\nthe power of the Holy Ghost. It was not an uncommon case, for persons\nto be so penetrated by his fervent discourses, as to resolve not to\nleave the place, till they should find rest in their souls, and the\ninstances were not a few, to whom the God of love condescended even\nin this particular by sending then _the Spirit of adoption into their\nhearts_, testifying _Thy sins are forgiven_; and enabling them _to cry\nAbba Father_.\n\nHis time was now wholly taken up in searching, expounding, and\nenforcing the scriptures, which he did both in public and in private;\nand prayer, visiting the sick, and whatsoever other particular\nemployments occasional, or stated, had any relation to his one purpose\nof spending, and being spent in the service of his master. And having\nbeen thus employed at _Limerick_ for some time, it was judged expedient,\nthat he should go and preach the gospel in other places also.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _He goes into the provinces of Leinster and Connought and\n preaches the word there._\n\n\nHIS way into those parts had, in some degree, been prepared before him:\nmany having received that gospel, which he preached from others of his\nbrethren. He followed them flaming with desire for the salvation of\nsouls, and with zeal for the glory of his master. By this stripling\nmany stout-hearted _Goliah\u2019s_ were reduced to _the obedience of_ Christ.\n\nHis labours now, were greater than he had hitherto known; for beside\npreaching always twice, and sometimes thrice a day, he often travelled\nmany miles between. But it was rendered pleasant to him, doing it\nheartily as to the Lord. Where love is, there is no labour, and if\nthere be labour, the labour is loved. Yes, it carries a burden without\na burden. His endeavours were crown\u2019d with much success. Multitudes of\npeople of all denominations attended his preaching, wherever he came;\nso that in a little time he was generally known all around the country.\n\nNow therefore did the God of this world stir up his emissaries. He has\nbeen sometimes waylaid in his journey, and escaped their hands, only\nby remarkable interpositions of divine providence. It may be tedious to\nenumerate all the instances. The following I set down abridged from his\njournal.\n\n\u201c_Thursday, January 4, 1750._ With much weakness of body, I preached\nthis morning, and soon after set out for _Rosgrea_. About a mile from\nthe town I met a large company armed with clubs. Seventy-eight men were\nsworn upon the occasion. At the first sight of them I was a little\ndaunted; but I prayed to the Lord for direction, and was strengthened.\nThey compelled me to alight, saying, They would bring a minister of the\nchurch of _England_ and a _Romish_ priest to talk with me. I let them\nknow, I preached not against any particular church, but against sin\nand wickedness in _all_. I said, supposing three persons among you of\ndifferent denominations; it may be a Churchman, a Quaker, and Papist,\nsitting down and drinking to excess, begin to dispute, each affirming,\nthat his was the best religion: where is the religion of all these men?\nSurely they are without any, unless it be that of _Belial_. They are of\ntheir father the devil, while his works they do.\u201d\n\n\u201cAfter some further discourse on the design of my coming to preach\nto them, and appealing to themselves concerning the necessity of it,\ntheir rage seemed abated, and then told me, they would let me go on\ncondition that I would swear never more to come to _Rosgrea_. But\nwhen I resolutely refused this, they consulted on rougher measures;\nand after much debate, were determined to put me into a well, which\nthey had prepared for that purpose. They hurried me away into the\ntown, where I was surrounded as by so many human wolves. They held a\nconsultation again, and resolved either to make me swear, or to put\nme into the well. But I refused either to swear or promise. Some then\ncried vehemently \u2018Put him in,\u2019 but others as positively said, \u2018They\nshould not.\u2019\n\n\u201cAfter some time the parish minister came, who behaved well, and\ndesired I might be set at liberty. They consented, provided I would\ngo out of town immediately. From an inn, where they confined me, they\nbrought me out into the street, and it being market-day, I began to\npreach to the people. But taking me by the back, they hurl\u2019d me before\nthem out of town. At length I got on horseback, and taking off my hat,\nI prayed for them some considerable time. I then called upon them in\nthe name of God, for Christ\u2019s sake, to repent; and told them, as to\nmyself, in the cause of God, I feared neither devils nor men; that to\ndo their souls good was my sole motive of coming among them, and that\nif God permitted, they might put me in the well, or stone me; be it how\nit would, I was content.\u201d\n\n\u201cI came off from them at length in peace of conscience, and serenity of\nmind. From the first of it to the last, I was not the least disturbed,\nnor stirred in anger or malice towards them. O God, it is thou alone\nthat hast wrought this deliverance for me.\u201d\n\nHe abode in those parts for some months, and went through both evil\nand good report. While going about daily, he endeavoured, by all means\nthe conversion of their souls. He often wanted proper necessaries\nfor his body, and much impaired his health, through the greatness of\nhis fatigues. But this by no means dampt the concern which he felt\nfor perishing sinners, great numbers of whom were present to his view\nwherever he came. A desire of being instrumental towards opening their\neyes, and turning them to God, brought him among them; nor could any\npersonal inconveniences alter his purpose, till providence directed his\nway elsewhere.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _Some farther account of the trouble he met with on account of\n preaching the gospel._\n\n\nOUR Saviour, said of his kingdom, If it were of this world, then would\nmy servants fight, that I should not be delivered into your hands.\n_Satan_ on the contrary, is said to be the prince, and _god of this\nworld_. And how numerous are his poor vassals! When therefore his\nservants perceive their master\u2019s kingdom in danger, they do fight, lest\nit should be subjected to its rightful Lord.\n\nAnd hence only can be accounted for that opposition, which this servant\nof Christ, burning with desire to promote his kingdom, met with among\nmost denominations of Christians, so called, wherever he came. Some, it\nis true, in almost every place, received the word gladly; while others\nnot only did not regard it, but treated him with unkindness, even to\nabusive language, blows, or imprisonment.\n\nThe following instance, and which was the occasion of my first\nknowledge of him, happened in the town of my nativity, about twenty\nmiles from the city of _Cork_.\n\nAt the repeated request of some of the inhabitants, he went thither\naccompanied by a few friends from the town of _Bandon, June 11,\n1752_. The magistrate, who was also rector of the parish, the Rev.\nMr. _William Ellis_, was applied to for the use of the market-house;\nwhich being refused, it was proposed, that he should preach at a small\ndistance from the town. Thither he went accompanied by multitudes to\nwhom, under the canopy of heaven, near a spacious strand, and shaded by\na spreading tree, he affectionately declared the gospel of the grace of\nGod.\n\nBy the time he had got to the place appointed, the magistrate, had sent\nhis serjeants to forbid him preaching, \u201cBut being (to use his own words)\nof the opinion, that it was better to obey God than man,\u201d he stept up\nupon a table prepared for that purpose, and immediately opening his\nlittle bible read to them, _Job xxi.\u00a03._ _Suffer me that I may speak,\nand after that I have spoken, mock on._ The seasonable singularity of\nthe text, so excited their attention, that they permitted him to finish\nquietly.\n\nThe word was with power. Several faces were turned to paleness and wet\nwith tears, while he urged it home upon the conscience, that _our_ sins\nwere the betrayers and murderers of the Son of God.\n\nOn his return into the town, he was seized by the officers, and brought\nbefore the magistrate, followed by an astonished multitude. Being\nasked many and various questions concerning _this way_, he answered\nfully, and without fear. The conversation lasted near an hour, in\nwhich he largely explained himself, giving the reasons of his conduct;\nand alledging in its behalf, precedents both from scripture and from\nantiquity.\n\nBut Mr. _Ellis_, having predetermined what he would do, was not to be\nmoved by arguments. He therefore let him know, that unless he would\npromise to preach no more in _this way_, at least not in those parts,\nhe should be committed to prison without delay. He replied, \u201cThat as\nhe had been so earnestly importuned to come there, he could not, in\nconscience, promise not to come;\u201d and asked, \u201cAre there no swearers,\ndrunkards, sabbath-breakers, and the like, in those parts?\u201d Being\nanswered, \u201cThere are.\u201d He added, that if after he had preached there\na few times, there appeared to be no reformation among them, he would\nnever come thither more. But this not satisfying, he was ordered to\nprison. He went thither with all readiness, and esteemed it matter of\nthanksgiving, that his Lord counted him worthy, to suffer reproach for\nhis name\u2019s-sake.\n\nSeveral persons accompanied him into the prison, where, he, with his\nfriends, sang praises to God, and exhorted the people. The street was\ncrouded, some saying one thing, and some another; in general however,\nthey were displeased at his confinement; and almost the whole town\nseemed concerned in his behalf. He still (as far as his voice would\nreach) preached to them thro\u2019 the window.\n\nThe inhabitants shewed the utmost civility towards him; and not knowing\nhow long he might be confined, provided bedding and provision for him\nand his companions. But it was not long before the magistrate sent to\nlet him go. Coming out, and seeing such a number of people, he would\nfain, have preached to them; but was dissuaded by his friends. He then\nwent to a private room, and exhorted till ten o\u2019clock, as many as came\nto him.\n\nHe went thither twice afterwards, and tho\u2019 with much contradiction,\npreached to them that gospel, which is _the power of God unto\nsalvation_. His endeavours were not all lost. There are to this hour\nsome of the fruit of his labours in that place; persons to whom,\nbecause of the blessing which God made him to their souls, his memory\nwill be ever precious.\n\nThe following instance happened in the north of _Ireland_, some time\nafter, at a place called _New-Town_, whether he went on the Lord\u2019s day.\n\nAt the desire of several persons, he intended to have preached in a\nplace called the _Church Green_, where were assembled, a large company\nto hear him. But while his hands were lifted up in prayer, there\ncame one Mr. _Mortimer_, a presbyterian, and with him several hundred\npersons, who taking hold of him by the breast, pulled him with violence\nto the ground. They hauled him thro\u2019 the mob, and had well nigh choaked\nhim, when one Mr. _Biers_ freed him from the hands of him who held him.\nBut for this he was soon struck to the ground himself.\n\nBeing got free, it grieved him exceedingly to see such a willing\nmultitude disappointed; so he went to a place at some distance from the\nformer. But here likewise, by the time he had begun, the same persons\npursued him. Perceiving therefore that it was vain to attempt preaching,\nhe retired to a little house in a garden, at some small distance. But\nneither here could he be at rest; the mob followed, and to avoid their\nfury, he was obliged to wade thro\u2019 wet meadows, and then climb over the\nmountains, till \u2018wet and weary, we (he had one person with him) came\nto the house of one Mr. _Ambey_, who supplied us with all we wanted.\u2019\nHis tender, broken constitution could not however, endure this fatigue,\nwithout feeling its effects. He was obliged in a few days to take to\nhis bed, where a fever confined him for some time.\n\nIt need not be dissembled, that the authors of this outrage towards a\nstranger, chargeable with no crime save that of endeavouring to save\nsouls from death, were a company of _Presbyterians_! But alas! what\nare names? \u201cLiberty of conscience, and right of private judgement,\u201d are\ngood and specious words. But how reconcilable they are to such conduct\nas this let all the world judge.\n\nThe state of his heart, on that occasion, he expresses thus. \u201cIn the\nmidst of it all, my mind was calm. I had no remarkable consolation, or\nfear, or sorrow. I prayed for them, and do still pray God to forgive\nthem, and not lay this sin to their charge.\u201d\n\nI pass over a number of other instances of the opposition he met with,\nof a private as well as public nature; and only mention these, as\na specimen of the malice which _Satan_ bears to God\u2019s kingdom, and\nservants.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IV.\n\n _A short account of the endeavours of the Romish clergy, to\n prevent his usefulness among their people. The means he made\n use of to instruct them, and the success which he met with\n therein._\n\n\nNOTWITHSTANDING the strict laws which are in force, to prevent the\npropagation of Popery in these kingdoms, and to restrain the attempts\nof _Romish_ priests and jesuits; it is no secret, that both in\n_Ireland_ and _England_, their endeavours, are as unwearied as ever.\nThey compass sea and land all round the globe, and hardly stick at any\nthing that may contribute towards their making proselytes.\n\nThe endeavours of this servant of Christ, to convert to him members\nof that communion, stirred up their clergy against him wherever he\ncame. His name was well known in all their churches; and in whatsoever\nplace there appeared but a probability of his coming, the priests took\ncare, to render him as obnoxious to the people as they possibly could;\ninsomuch, that they stuck at nothing, though never so false, to compass\ntheir end. They however carefully avoided his having opportunity to\ntalk with themselves. I do not find that from the time of his leaving\ntheir communion, he had ever any settled personal interviews with\nthem, although for the sake of their poor ignorant people, for whom he\nhad the tenderest compassion, he has frequently desired it; sometimes\neven in public. One \u2666occasional conversation only, with one of their\npriests, on board a ship, in a passage from _England_ to _Dublin_,\nhe relates, as follows, \u201cWe discoursed on the following particulars.\n1.\u00a0The Pope\u2019s infallibility. 2.\u00a0Transubstantiation. 3.\u00a0Invocation of\nsaints. 4.\u00a0Purgatory. But he could not withstand the force of plain\nscripture, and therefore withdrew. The company were greatly pleased to\nfind, how little the _Romish_ clergy have to say for themselves, when\nopposed by arguments taken from scripture and reason.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cocccasional\u201d replaced with \u201coccasional\u201d\n\nIn one place, (_C\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015l_) the priest informed his congregation, (to such\nlow shifts were they driven) and industriously spread abroad, \u201cthat he\nhad been a servant boy to a certain priest, and that having stolen his\nmaster\u2019s books, he learned to preach by that means.\u201d\n\nThe conduct of another of them at _Cork_, was still more extraordinary.\nThere was in that place a vast resort of _Catholics_ (so called) to his\nsermons, which were often under the open firmament, as well as daily\nwithin doors, both in _Irish_ and _English_; and among the _Romanists_,\nwho were happily stirred up thereby to a concern for their salvation,\nthere was one elderly woman, who had been in some religious office\namong them. She entirely forsook their communion, constantly attended\nhis sermons, and thenceforward, received the Lord\u2019s supper in the\nchurch of _England_.\n\nThe _Romish_ priests became strangely irritated, and laboured\nvehemently to stop the growing evil; to which end, one of them affirmed\nto the people, that \u201cAs to that _Walsh_, who had some time before\nturned heretic, and went about preaching, he had been dead long ago:\nand that he, who then preached in this manner, was but the devil in his\nshape.\u201d\n\nBut their endeavours, proved in great measure ineffectual; for, however\na few persons might receive ill impressions from such insinuations; yet\nseveral of their communion in many places heard him gladly, and would\nnot be hindered therefrom. Rather, the more the priests urged them,\nthey prevailed the less. His labours, and prayers, and tears, for their\npoor straying souls, over whom his bowels so often yearned, had, on\nmany the desired effect; being thereby, not only reformed from Popery,\nbut really converted to God.\n\nOf the common natives of _Ireland_, it has been frequently observed,\nthat of all the natives of the globe, there are none who exceed\nthem for hospitality, good nature, and susceptibility of religious\nimpressions. It might well therefore, occasion the \u2018yearning of the\nbowels\u2019 of this lover of souls, to see such multitudes of them detained\nin total ignorance by their priests, to whom they pay the most implicit\nobedience.\n\n*And hence it was, that from the beginning of the concern which he felt\nfor his own soul, he set himself, by all possible means _to turn them\nfrom darkness to light_. And whither in the highways, at inns, in the\ncity or country, he let slip no probable means of instructing them.\nOne circumstance which is much more common in _Ireland_ than _England_,\nI mean the number of street beggars, furnished him with frequent\nopportunities of this kind.\n\nHis manner of addressing them was easy and familiar: talking to\nthem always in a stile suited to their capacity and prejudices.\nHe avoided entirely the difference of churches, and all matter of\ndispute, speaking only of the dreadful evil of sin, the great affairs\nof eternal life, and eternal death, of judgment, and of the sufferings\nand sacrifice of the Son of God. And his discourses had often such\nimmediate effect, that falling on their knees, and smiting their\nbreasts, they have wept, and cried for mercy, in the open streets. He\nalways concluded his instructions with giving them money, if he had it,\nwhich indeed was not always the case.\n\nIt would be tedious to enumerate all the conversations, and various\nintercourses which he had with members of that communion, and the good\neffects which were produced by them. Two or three only, may be related\nfrom his own accounts.\n\n\u201cThis day \u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015 came to my room. I asked him, how he hoped to be saved?\nAnd having talked together in _Irish_ for some time, he became greatly\naffected, and said, \u2018I have saved some money to leave to some _Priest_\nor _Friar_ when I die, in order to procure me the forgiveness of my\nsins, and I am willing to leave it to you, if you will accept of it.\u2019 I\ntold him, that no man could forgive his sins; that the gift of God was\nnot to be purchased with money; and that only the blood of Christ, our\ngreat _High-priest_, could cleanse from sin. He was deeply wounded, and\ncried earnestly to God, to whom, after prayer I commended him.\u201d\n\nAt another time he writes, \u201cA poor woman, a papist, came to my room,\ndesirous of salvation. I prayed with her in _Irish_. She frequently\nfell on her knees and cried for mercy, resolving no more to regard the\npriest\u2019s curses, but to seek her salvation according as the word of God\ndirects.\u201d\n\nAgain, \u201cBeing on a journey, where I breakfasted (it was a Romanist\u2019s) I\nreproved the landlord for swearing, and talked to all who were present.\nI exhorted likewise a woman at the door, to seek from God, repentance\nand salvation. She cried with amaze! To the blessed Virgin, and to the\ntwelve apostles to help her. But I taught her to direct her prayers to\nGod the Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ.\u201d\n\n*Beside his frequent occasional conversations with them, he went to as\nmany of their own houses as he could get admittance, where he regarded\nthe children and servants, even as the masters and mistresses.\n\nBut what most of all contributed to the success of his attempts for\ntheir good, was his public preaching, to which great numbers of them\nfrequently resorted, wherever he came; induced thereto, chiefly by\nhis preaching in _Irish_, and such things as they easily understood.\nThere is in the _Irish_ language a peculiarly affecting expressiveness,\nparticularly with respect to the things of God; which, being pressed\nhome upon the conscience, by his zealous and alarming way of preaching,\noften left them bathed in tears. I saw a very remarkable instance of\nthis in the town of my nativity; preaching there on a market-day, many\nof the country people running with surprize to hear him, smote their\nbreasts and wept, in such a manner as was entirely new to them, some\naffirming, that they could go all over the world with him! It may be\ntruly said, he seldom preached a sermon in _Irish_, from which some\nof them did not receive advantage. He briefly mentions a few instances\nhimself, as follows,\n\n\u201cAfter preaching both in _Irish_ and _English_, a poor papist woman\ncame to me, saying, \u2018She came for instruction; for that as she was a\npoor woman, she could not have it elsewhere, and she wanted to save her\nsoul.\u2019 I told her, that all which was in my power, I would do for her\nwillingly. She wept, and I prayed with her, pointing her for all her\nsoul wanted, to Jesus, who alone is _the way, the truth, and the life_.\u201d\n\n*Again, \u201c_January 4, 1751_. My soul was delighted to see with what\nearnestness the poor _Irish_, (meaning the _Romanists_) received the\nword, being in general deeply affected. O how did they weep, and cry\nfor mercy! May God hear their prayer. Surely this people will rise up\nin judgment against Protestants, who having the light of the gospel,\neither neglect or despise it. And also against the pastors of this\nignorant people, who hold them in error. O, what have the Romish clergy\nto answer for before God!\u201d\n\n\u201c_April, 1751._ Many of them professed after preaching, that they\nreceived more benefit from that one sermon, than from all the _masses_\nthey had attended during their whole life.\u201d\n\nAt another time preaching concerning the good _Samaritan_ (Luke x.\u00a030.)\n\u201cTwo members of the church of _Rome_ were deeply convinced of their\nwant of a Saviour, and thirty-four persons joined themselves together,\nto seek and serve the Lord.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, May 8._ I conversed with a woman who was formerly of the\nchurch of _England_, but had been seduced by the _Romish_ priests. She\nwas convinced of her error and returned. To God be the glory.\u201d\n\n\u201cAfter preaching on _John i.\u00a017._ Sinners cried out mightily. One came\nconfessing her deeds and said, She had lived an adultress, worse than\n_Mary Magdalen_; she wept, trembled and roared aloud.\u201d\n\nThe circumstance of his preaching and speaking in _Irish_, (a thing\nthat multitudes, at least of protestants in _Ireland_ cannot do) next\nto the singular blessing of God upon his labours, contributed most to\nthe success of his endeavours. Though it is observable that when he\npreached one day in _Irish_, on _Oxmon-Town-Green_ in _Dublin_, among\nthose who were affected by the discourse, there was one man cut to the\nheart, although he did not, at all understand the language.\n\nIn a journey once between _Cork_ and _Bandon_, he fell into\nconversation with a man who rode some miles with him, till as was his\nconstant manner, he began to apply something to his heart, concerning\nthe worth of his soul, and the way of salvation. But he favouring not\nthe things of God, became \u2666grievously offended. \u201cHis prejudice in short\nran so high, that he declared, although he were shot for it, he would\nhave satisfaction; adding with an oath, thou shalt never deceive\nanother, for I am resolved to be the death of you just now.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201cgrievosly\u201d replaced with \u201cgrievously\u201d\n\n\u201cI was quiet in my mind, being persuaded that the God of _Daniel_ was\nstill the same, I did not feel the least anger, or rising of revenge\ntowards him; and still reproved him whenever he swore. In the midst\nof his rage I reproved him in _Irish_. He was instantly amazed; and\nreplied, \u2018Why did you not speak _so_ to me in the beginning?\u2019 The lion\nbecame a lamb, and I then let him know still speaking in _Irish_, what\nChrist had done for sinners. He departed with a broken heart.\u201d\n\nWhen some of them once followed him after preaching, desirous of\ninstruction. \u201cI told them (says he) as to religion that it was not\na bare profession that would avail any one.\u2015\u2015That the true way, was\nto forsake sin and follow Christ; and that in order thereto, it was\nneedful that a person should, 1st. Be poor in spirit; _feel_ that he is\na sinner. 2dly, Mourn on that account with a broken and contrite heart.\n3dly, Forsake sin by applying to the Lord for strength. 4thly, Believe\nin Christ, and him only for salvation; as it is his blood alone, that\ncleanseth from all unrighteousness: and 5thly, Obey the gospel by\nconforming to the rules there laid down; living _soberly, righteously,\nand godly in the present world_.\u201d\n\nThis was the sum of what he taught them from time to time, as the way\nof salvation, which, explained and enforced by the holy scriptures, he\nopposed to every other device, or tradition of men. And so zealously\nconcerned was he for enforcing these truths wherever he came, that\nto one, amidst a great number of _Romanists_, whose attention some\nendeavoured to hinder, he said, \u201cIf my doctrine be not according to the\nword of God, stone me on the spot. Make a sacrifice of me: only hear\nfor yourselves.\u201d\n\n\u201cO that God would call them to the knowledge of the gospel of peace,\nand open to them a door of salvation. Open Lord the eyes of their\npriests. Remember the purchase of thy blood, nor suffer those poor\nsouls to perish, for whom Christ hath died.\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER V.\n\n _He goes to England and labours there._\n\n\nTHE enlargement of soul, with which it pleased God to bless him, left\nno bounds to his desires, of spreading the favour of the knowledge of\nJesus, in every place: and his providential connexions, afforded him\na large sphere of action. The people with whom he was more immediately\nunited, and who were, according to the divine disposals, the\ninstruments of his salvation, had now, through the blessing of heaven,\nspread the _joyful sound_, well nigh all over _England_, and _Ireland_.\nAnd hence arose a necessity for many labourers.\n\nIt was therefore judged expedient that, (having been successfully\nemployed between two and three years in his native country) he should\ngo to _England_ likewise: to which only the conviction of its being\nthe will of God, could have \u2666reconciled him; feeling what was natural\non the occasion, \u201cA struggle within himself on leaving his friends and\ncountry.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201creciled\u201d replaced with \u201creconciled\u201d\n\n_May 10. 1753._ He embarked at _Dublin_ with some other friends,\nand the next day arrived at _Park-gate_. Concerning this voyage, and\nhis arrival in _England_, he writes as follows. \u201cThere were on board\nseveral gentry, and officers, with a large number of cabbin passengers.\nThey cursed, swore, and blasphemed as though they were in hell. I\nreproved them again and again; but they still persisted, and said I was\nmad. O God, if there never was any other damnation in the world to come,\nthan the company of such wretches, who would not flee from it.\u201d\n\n_London_ was the place where he was appointed chiefly to labour. He\narrived there the 31st of _May 1753_, and preached his first sermon\nfrom _1\u00a0John ii.\u00a01._\n\nAnd now did he, more vigourously than ever, apply himself, both in\npublic and in private, to the labour of his calling; resolving, in a\nplace of such dangers, to make the best use of both. He found himself\nin the midst of a numerous and well instructed people, many of whom\nwere deeply experienced in the things of God. This was to him matter of\ngreat joy, though at the same time of much carefulness, knowing, that\nin order to be truly profitable to them, a superficial acquaintance\nwith things would but ill suffice. He therefore _laboured_ to be a\nscribe _well instructed_; to be deeply and judiciously informed, in\nthings pertaining to the kingdom of God. It was his daily and nightly\nstudy, how he might best contribute his part towards the feeding them\nwith the sincere milk of the word, and the building them up in their\nmost holy faith.\n\nBut neither did he here intermit his endeavours, for the salvation of\nhis poor ignorant countrymen, (of whom great numbers, of the lower sort\nare constantly employed in _London_) still detained in that darkness,\nfrom which he had so happily escaped himself. He therefore appointed\ntimes for explaining to as many of them as would hear, the first\nprinciples of the doctrine of Christ; and preached several times in\n_Irish_, in _Moor-fields_, and elsewhere; endeavouring likewise, to\nhave as many private interviews with them as he possibly could.\n\nIt was here he first formed to himself a more exact plan for the\nimprovement of his time, with respect to his public and private\ncapacity, as a preacher, and a christian, assigning determinate\nportions of it to certain employments, which unless when necessity\nrequired otherwise, he punctually observed. He preached constantly\ntwice a day, and visited many people in their families; besides\nfrequent attendance on the sick, and dying; from some of whom, he\nwas rarely a day absent.\n\nThe abilities with which God had endowed him, and his faithful\nimprovement of them, considerably encreased his work; for it seemed\ngood to those, whom the divine wisdom had honoured, with the over sight,\nof a multitude of persons here, in their absence, to intrust him with\nthat branch of their work. His exactness and submissive faithfulness\ntherein, appeared in many and various particulars, of which a part only\nmay be gathered from the following letter to the Rev. Mr. _John Wesley_.\n\n\u201c_Honoured Sir_,\n\n\u201cI Thank you for your letter. I longed exceedingly to hear from\nyou.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015Your account of the good woman in your Journal was refreshing\nto my soul. What I have to say is as follows,\u201d\n\n1. \u201cMr. _Wesley_ is gone to _Bristol_. He met us on _Monday_ mornings,\nand upon the whole, all was well. We parted much in love. 2.\u00a0Mr.\n_F\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015_ goes on well. I converse with him when I can. 3.\u00a0The Lord\nis powerfully carrying on his work. Sinners are alarmed, and saints\nedified. This day in visiting the sick, my soul was greatly comforted,\nby hearing of God\u2019s dealings with their souls.\n\n\u201cOn _Monday_ I begin to change the tickets. God give me integrity,\nwisdom, meekness, and love. I think, considering these particulars, I\ncannot leave _London_ yet. It seems _providence_ keeps me here still.\n\n\u201cYou have the prayers of your children. I don\u2019t forget you. A son\nhonoureth his father, and a father loveth his son. Let it be so till\ndeath, and the devil can get little advantage. Your preaching has been\noften, and exceedingly blest to my soul. My heart\u2019s desire, and prayer\nto God is, that the Lord would make me partaker of his holiness.\n\n\u201cDear Sir, I trust your soul will, in time, and in eternity, partake of\nthat great salvation, you have preached in the name of the Lord. O may\nit please God, that we may meet full of holy and happy love! I feel my\nsoul this moment strongly drawn after God; but there is yet something\nthat keeps me out of perfect rest and liberty. Jesus, take my whole\nheart! Confound, overpower me with thy grace. Requesting your prayers\nand counsel, I remain,\n\n \u201cYour very affectionate son,\n\n _Thomas Walsh_.\u201d\n\n_London, April 30._\n\nHis advancement in divine knowledge, and in the divine life, while he\nremained here, became more and more visible. The fruit of his public\nministry was likewise still more discernible; and the general tenor of\nhis conduct was acceptable to the people. They had abundant evidence\nof his devotedness to God, and of his truly serving as a son in the\ngospel. He was generally blest to all kinds of hearers. His discourses\nwere always of an awakening nature, entering into the very heart; and\nsingularly calculated to assist, such as were ardently seeking after\n_perfect love_, (_1\u00a0John iv. 17,\u00a018._) and hereby, through the divine\nblessing, he became instrumental to such a revival of the work of God,\nas had not been known, as to its depth, from the first union of that\nsociety. Nor are there a few in _London_, who bless God that ever they\nheard his voice.\n\nThus did he spend the time of his abode in _England_, spreading the\nfavour of his good ointment all around him, and by his example, as well\nas preaching, pressing every one to make sure work for eternity. He\nperceived clearly, it was the good providence of God which prepared his\nway, and directed him hither. He came from _Ireland_ to _London_, three\nseveral times; the last of which the longest time of his continuing\nthere, (about two years,) and the most profitable both to himself\nand to others. And here especially it was, that through his great\nand incessant labours; his unwearied application to private study and\npublic ministrations, he laid the foundation of that disorder, which at\nlength, removed him to another world.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VI.\n\n _His love to souls, and zeal for promoting the glory of God._\n\n\nSOME account of his endeavours for the salvation of his neighbour,\nhas already been given. But this being so considerable a part of his\ncharacter, deserves a more full consideration: though it cannot be told,\nof how many and various expedients he served himself for the conversion\nof sinners.\n\nHe watched every opportunity; and was literally _instant in season, out\nof season_; that is continually, at all times and places, seeking how\nhe might best accomplish the end, for which alone he desired to live.\n\nThe intenseness of his desire, and his application to this _one thing_,\nkept him continually as on the wing, spending, and being spent in this\nbehalf; regarding neither reproach, pain, loss, nor death itself. \u201cI\nhave, said he, but one life, and it is a hard case if I cannot readily\nlose that for his sake, who gave his life a ransom for mine, and for\nthe life of the world. My heart bleeds for the world which lieth in the\nwicked one.\u201d\n\nIt was owing to this likewise, that he embraced every possible\nopportunity of crying aloud, in the most conspicuous places of public\nresort, and of enforcing the voice of wisdom, saying, _How long ye\nsimple ones will ye love simplicity, and scorners delight in scorning,\nand fools hate knowledge! Turn ye at my reproof; behold I will pour out\nmy Spirit upon you, I will make known my words unto you._\n\n*Mountains, market-places, highways, meadows, rooms, prisons, and\nships, were the frequent theatres of his publishing the gospel of\npeace. And herein there appeared in him something next to marvellous,\nbeing a living fire, continually burning in the love of God and man;\nstill mounting upwards, and kindling all that were capable about him;\nas prone to fervour and activity, as some are to cold and indolence.\nHe was never weary of well-doing, nor ever spoke slightly, and with\nindifferent affection of the great God, and of the things of religion;\nbut with a seriousness and reverence, becoming one who by faith saw the\nInvisible, and looked to be shortly with him!\n\n*He was in truth a mighty adversary to the devil\u2019s kingdom, and took\nevery possible step, which he judged might, in any measure, promote the\nhonour of God, to whose sole glory he sacrificed himself, with all his\nlabours and studies. It is scarcely possible to enable a stranger to\nhim to conceive, the flow of his soul, and energy of his spirit and\nexpressions on these occasions; while he endeavoured by _all means_ to\nsave some. To this end, he truly imparted, not the gospel of God only,\nbut likewise his own soul. It was this noble object which raised him\nabove, even that attention to his body, which it required. It was truly\nsaid of him,\n\n He scorn\u2019d his feeble flesh to spare,\n Regardless of its swift decline;\n His single aim, his ceaseless prayer\n To spread the righteousness divine:\n\n He truly triumphed in the cross,\n Its prints as on his body shew\u2019d,\n Lavish of life for Jesu\u2019s cause,\n Whose blood for all so freely flow\u2019d.\n\nThe fire which burned in his heart never said \u201cIt is enough.\u201d And the\nsuccess with which it pleased our Lord to prosper his labours, was a\nconstant motive to his going forward. His designs of doing good were\nwithout limits, esteeming himself a debtor to all, and embracing in\naffection, not less than the whole world.\n\nRiding through _Wales_ and finding that, in many places they did not\nunderstand _English_, he felt great concern on the occasion, and formed\na resolution, if his life and health permitted, to learn the _Welch_\nlanguage.\n\nAnd it was given him not only to believe, and therefore to speak\nfor God; but also to suffer for his cause. But he rejoiced in his\nsufferings, and filled up that which is behind of the afflictions of\nChrist in his flesh.\n\nMeantime the _end_, which he still kept in view, together with his\nfrequent reflections, on the love of Jesus; the danger of sinners\ndying without conversion; and the present salvation to which they are\nentitled, thro\u2019 the blood of the Lamb: made him more than superior to\nevery thing which, either men, or the malice of _Satan_ could invent\nagainst, or inflict upon him.\n\nHis warm heart and fervent courage, feared no danger in the discharge\nof his duty, being well assured that walking uprightly, he walked\nsurely. He dreaded not the faces of men, but where occasion offered,\nboldly reproved what he saw amiss in every one. Wherever there appeared\nany probability of his doing good, he was never hindered by the\nprospect of danger.\n\nIn one place, having preached to a vast number of _Romanists_ and\nothers, and a prospect appearing of doing much good, he intended, to\ngo again: but a report prevailed that if he attempted it; a great man\nwould either have him stoned, or sent to jail. On this occasion \u201cI\nreflected (says he) what God had done in former times for those who\nput their trust in him. And he gave me strength according to my day.\nI found my faith in him greatly strengthened, and resolved, simply to\nrely on his protection; not doubting but that he would stand by me. So\nI went thither and preached in the name of the Lord.\n\n\u201cThe fear of man prevented their giving me entrance into their houses\nas before; so I stood on a chair in the street, and thanked God for the\nprivilege. They received the word without disturbance, and with joy. On\nmy return I prayed at two houses in the way, and the power of God was\ngreatly in the midst of us. Praised be God, and the Lamb for ever!\u201d\n\nHis labours were indeed much beyond his strength; and his zeal would\nnot suffer him to stand still: so that his friends were obliged\nsometimes (as _Origen_\u2019s mother, to prevent her young son\u2019s burning\nwith his father) to hide his cloaths, or lock him in his room in the\nmorning.\n\n*His whole conversation was like fire, warming, refreshing, and\ncomforting all that were about him, and begetting in their souls a\nmeasure of the same zeal for the glory of God, and the salvation of\nsinners which burned in his own breast. It was not possible to be much\nwith him, and not to hear discourses which bred a detestation of sin,\nand a love of holiness. To what purpose is it to live (seemed the motto\nof his life) and not to live to some good purpose?\n\nHis endeavours to do good, extended to children also. He first,\nintroduced in many places the custom of meeting weekly, such of them\nas could attend, in order to instruct them in such truths, as their\ncapacity admitted of. In doing this he desired their parents might be\npresent likewise, to whom his affecting manner of address was not less\nserviceable, than to the children.\n\nWhile in _London_, he had several interviews with the _Jews_,\nfrequently attending their synagogues, and reasoning with them out of\nthe _Hebrew_ scriptures. And altho\u2019 I cannot say with certainty that\nany of them were converted, yet, sure I am from eye witnesses, that\nthey were not able to gain-say the power by which he spoke.\n\n*When at any time he met any of his Christian acquaintance, in the\nstreet, or called at their houses passing by, he had always something\nto say by way of watch-word, which he left upon their minds. Such as,\n\u201cWell, let us hold out a little longer! Are we pressing forward? Let us\nhold fast faith, and a good conscience. Are we watching now unto prayer,\nand pressing after perfect love?\u201d I well remember one instance of the\ngood effects of this, which a person mentioned to me since his death.\n\u201cI shall never forget, says he, a word which Mr. _Walsh_, taking me\nby the hand one day, spoke to me in my shop, _\u2019Tis worse than death,\nmy |God| to love, and not my |God| alone_.\u201d It was like a nail in a\nsure place, and left a useful impression ever after. The gravity and\nearnestness, with which he delivered these kinds of little memento\u2019s\nto his friends, carried them, by God\u2019s help to the heart, and left them\nthere. So that I have heard several of his sayings, in this way, called\nto remembrance, since his decease, by several of his acquaintance.\n\nHe did whatsoever he did for God, with all his might, spending his very\nlife in every action, even as tho\u2019 he should merit heaven thereby, and\nyet, at the same time despising himself as an unprofitable servant.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VII.\n\n _His application to study, love to the holy scriptures, and\n improvement in divine knowledge._\n\n\nTHE first materials of his learning, were not very considerable; he had\nacquired some knowledge of _Latin_ in his childhood, but left it off\nfor the _Mathematics_: so that by the time he resumed his grammatical\nstudies, he had almost all to do again. However, the strength of\nhis natural capacity, and intense application to study, after his\nconversion, soon recovered, what he had lost, with vast increase.\n\nFrom the time of his first, deep concern about salvation, he read, as\nhas been intimated, the word of God, with unwearied application; and\nevery thing else, only as it had some reference to the truths contained\ntherein: and this practice he continued with increasing diligence, and\ndelight, till sickness disqualified him for all study. And to such a\ndegree of eminency did he arrive therein, that I believe, it may be\nsaid with truth, he was scarce ever a moment waking, wherein he was\nnot either talking of, reading, or meditating on one truth or other\ncontained in holy scripture.\n\nAt first he read the _English_ bible chiefly; but his endeavours for\nthe good of many of his ignorant countrymen, induced him to read, and\nget well acquainted with the New Testament in _Irish_ likewise.\n\nHe next set himself, to understand the scriptures, both of the Old\nTestament and the New, in their original. It was not till after he\nhad acquired some tolerable knowledge of the _Greek_ Testament, that\nhe entered upon the study of _Hebrew_. This was at _London_, about\n_December 1755_. He agreed with a _Jew_ to instruct him, at the rate\nof a shilling an hour. A few lessons served all the ends he needed; and\nbeing fully initiated into the genius of the language, he soon became\nas it were swallowed up in it.\n\nThe matter of the study so endeared the language to him, that he\nproceeded therein with incredible swiftness. He discovered every day,\nsuch a depth of _hidden wisdom_, in the writings of _Moses_, and the\nprophets, read in their own tongue, as he could hardly have conceived\nfrom our translation, tho\u2019 for the most part, deemed the best in the\nworld.\n\nHe ascribed it to a special assistance from heaven, that the study of\nthe tongue, became so easy and pleasant. And I have heard him mention\nthis very particular as an argument (at least to himself) of the regard\nof heaven, to this _first_, most simple, and excellent of languages;\u00b9\nin assisting those who with upright minds enquire into it after the\nmind of God. And to this purpose he writes as follows.\n\n \u00b9 \u201cThe _Hebrew_ (says archbishop _Usher_) is the first tongue\n of the world, and the most orderly speech: in comparison of\n which all other languages may be condemned for barbarous\n confusion.\u201d\n\n \u201cSure I am (says an eminent writer) that it ought to be\n the first language we are taught, after we have learned to\n lisp our own: and were I worthy to advise, the _oriental\n dialects_ should follow the _Hebrew_, the _Greek_ should\n follow the _Arabic_, and the _Latin_ be acquired by\n conversation and reading, in the same manner as the modern\n languages of _Europe_ are acquired.\u201d\n\n\u201c_December 20, 1756._ I spent the forenoon in my studies, in which God\nhas, and does greatly assist me. About this time twelve-month I could\nnot read a sentence of _Hebrew_ with any certainty, or construe a verse\nwith readiness. But now I can read my bible through, and understand it,\nalmost as well as _Latin_ or _English_. This hath God done, enabling me\nto read his blessed word in the first and best of languages. O may all\nmy studies and talents be devoted to his glory!\u201d\n\n*His application was indeed prodigious. I have known him spend fourteen\nhours, of the four and twenty, in this study, excepting only the\nintervals of prayer, which he frequently poured out for his blessing,\nwhose inspiration alone teacheth man _true_ wisdom. He often intermixed\na verse of praise, or petition; and then, turning his face to the\nwall, and lifting up his heart and countenance to heaven, with his arms\nclaspt about his breast, he would stand for some time before the Lord\nin solemn recollection, and then return to his work.\n\n*It was a rare thing ever to see him, but with a book in his hand, or\nspeaking of the things of God, or in meditation. When in travelling, he\nat any time stopt at an inn, as soon as he was showed to his chamber,\nto stay whether for an hour, or a night; he would take out his little\n_Hebrew_ psalter (which was his favourite travelling companion) or some\nother spiritual book, and fall immediately to his usual work; unless\nthe time was taken up in exhorting the landlord, or servants, or in\nshort, any he met with. Accommodations for his body were his smallest\ncare; and his attention to these, were always, as it were by the bye.\nHe, like the tortoise, had his house always with him, and seemed every\nwhere, and yet no where at home, in this world. He pursued his work,\nwell nigh equally, at all times, and in all places, spontaneously\nto tend to God. Even after preaching, he has immediately resumed his\nstudies, (having books always with him,) and this often, where several\npersons have been talking, or otherwise employed, as their occasions\nrequired round about him. He, still pursued his work, as tho\u2019 he were\nretired in a closet: proceeding on the sentiment, that he had no other\nbusiness in this world, than to pray, and preach, and study, and live\nin every place, and in every thing, for God!\n\nThe frequency of his _stated_ times of prayer, were, at first\nespecially, much interrupted hereby. But he followed the light which\nhe then had; and intending all his acquirements for the glory of God,\nin the interest of souls, he thought he might on some occasions, (as\none expresses it,) \u201cleave God, for God.\u201d\n\nHe was not, however, without frequent jealousies, lest his intense\napplication, even to this kind of employment, should in any wise,\ndivert his heart from what he most prized, namely, close attention to\nJesus. After a while therefore, having mastered the main difficulties\nin his work, his application became much more moderate. He began to\n\u201cLearn well to know, how much need not be known.\u201d\n\n*One day he writes as follows. \u201cI was all day closely employed at study.\nBut I fear I love my books too much. It is true my studies relate to\nthe word of God: but I often find my mind carried out in desire after\nlanguages, arts and sciences; yet I see the vanity of every thing,\nwhen separate from God: to be sure, I prize the knowledge of Christ\n_crucified_ above all other knowledge. To imitate his wisdom, goodness,\nmeekness, patience and love: alas! what are _Hebrew_, _Greek_, _Latin_,\n_Logic_, _Metaphysics_, every thing to this! What is any thing to the\nlove of Jesus! O that sweet peace of conscience, and contentment of\nmind; which arise from redemption in his blood! O Lord, thou knowest\nthat I desire to be great in thy grace; to be armed with thy armour. My\nsoul longs to rise above these little, transitory things. I fain would\nrest in thee! I thirst for the divine life. I pray for the spirit of\nillumination. I cast my soul upon Jesus Christ, the God of glory, and\nRedeemer of the world. I desire to be conformable unto him; his friend,\nservant, disciple, and sacrifice! Come now my Jesus! See the longings\nof my soul, and finish the work there.\u201d\n\n*From hence may be gathered both, what was the spirit of the man,\nand the tendency of his studies. He desired to know: but it was God,\nand the things of God, which he proposed to himself, as the sole\nmatter of his knowledge. For altho\u2019 he read occasionally both logic\nand metaphysics, history, and natural philosophy, yet it was all\nwith reference to his one grand point. Whatever treasures he gathered\nfrom abroad in these, or in any other way; as the industrious bee,\ncollecting her sweets from different flowers, deposits all in one hive;\nso he reduced, and made all his attainments subservient to, the word of\nGod, and acquaintance with Jesus, as his central point.\n\nAnd his fear, lest in any thing he should deviate from this, had much\ninfluence on the regulation of his studies. He well knew, that to have\na heart always at leisure for God, attentive to his teaching, and\nobedient to his dictates, is the great thing to which every design must\ngive place; and that the heart is capable of being _overcharged_ with\nthings, in some respects, lawful and excellent, as with surfeiting and\ndrunkenness, or cares of this life; all of which are therefore, to be\nas carefully guarded against.\n\nAnd perhaps there are few things by which the spirit of darkness, so\nserves himself, among the _thinking_ world, as by this very particular;\ndiverting the mind from proper application to the _one thing needful_,\nnot indeed by things sensual, or immoral, which they abhor, and would\nperhaps be shocked at the thought of; but by things, in some respects\ninnocent, and plausible, if not necessary: it may be by curious\nspeculations on government, the works of nature or grace, and ideal\npursuits of various kinds.\n\n*Bishop _Taylor_ mentions it as a saying of _Oegidius_, \u201can old,\nand simple woman who loves Jesus, may be greater than was brother\n_Bonadventure_.\u201d And inasmuch as the giving our whole heart to God,\nis that, without which, nothing in religion is available; if this be\nnot done, is it not the same thing, whether it be through gazing at\nthe stars, catching of butterflies, or committing adultery? The death\nof the body is as fully affected by the prick of a lancet, as by the\nstroke of a cannon-ball. And, to such alas, as procure the _loss_ of\ntheir own soul, how little difference does it make, whether it was\ndone by the crimes, of the grossest kind, or, by what the flattery of\nself-love, and a mistaken world call _little things_. He was throughly\nsensible of his danger in this respect, and began to regulate himself\naccordingly.\n\nHe found towards the conclusion of his studies in particular, that\nmore _true_ wisdom is obtained from God, by prayer and holy meditation\nin one hour, than from the application of years to folio volumes; and\ntherefore esteemed one single sentiment, gained in this manner, of more\nvalue than a thousand speculations acquired by mere dint of study in\nthe way of human science. He perceived well the difference which there\nis between studying barely to instruct others, (which in its place,\nis also right and necessary) and studying to perfect one\u2019s self, to\nproduce that purity, and disengagement which is absolutely necessary to\nreceive the true light of the holy Spirit. \u201cThe secrets of the kingdom\nof heaven are not understood thoroughly, but by the sons of the kingdom,\nand by them, too in several degrees, God distributing to every one\nseverally as he willeth; but to such as know not God, the whole system\nof this wisdom is insipid and flat, if not totally rejected, dull as\nthe foot of a rock, and unlearned as the elements of our mother tongue.\nBut so are mathematics to a Scythian boar, and music to a camel.\u201d\n\n*His settled manner now was, to assign the morning wholly to the\nreading, first a chapter out of the Old Testament, and frequently\nsome of the psalms in _Hebrew_. Then he read, and digest some part\nof his _Greek_ Testament. His manner of doing this, took him up great\npart of the forenoon: and afterwards, he read, wrote, or was otherwise\nemployed as occasions directed. He frequently had some persons to visit\nhim for instruction in some point of learning; chiefly in _Hebrew_.\nTwo or three young men of _Cambridge_, at different times, being in\ntown, and knowing him, chose to be initiated by him in the _Hebrew_\ntongue. He was constantly as communicative as receptive of instruction,\nwithholding nothing from any one, that he thought might be useful to\nthem.\n\nHe read the scriptures in order; beginning a book, and going thro\u2019\nwith it regularly; fixing at the same time upon such parts, as had most\nimmediate reference to the doctrines and precepts of the gospel-state\nof things; which he not only read most frequently, but likewise\ncommitted to memory. *And the degree of perfection to which he arrived\nin this particular, was really surprising. His acquaintance with\nthe letter of scripture, and his retentive memory, supplied him as\nwith a constant concordance. And I believe there was not a remarkable\npassage, historical, doctrinal, or preceptive, from _Genesis_ to the\n_Revelation_, which he could not, on the bare mention of, turn to\nimmediately.\n\n\u201cThy word (says he) O Lord, I have for mine inheritance for ever. It is\nthe joy of my heart, and of more value to me than millions of worlds.\nO God, give me understanding, that I may keep thy law! But let my whole\ndependance be in Jesu\u2019s merits. He is my advocate. Only by faith in him\nI stand. He is my sure refuge, and portion, in the land of the living!\u201d\n\nBeing at sea one time, and the weather becoming extremely tempestuous,\nthe mariners themselves were apprehensive of death. He in like manner\nexpected the same, and put into his bosom, a small bible which he had\nwith him, resolving that what he so loved in life, should not be parted\nfrom him even in death. Such was his love to, and singular esteem for\nthe word of God.\n\nIn this manner it was, that he became in truth, a scribe, well\ninstructed to the kingdom of heaven, and brought out of the treasury of\nhis heart-experience, the old and new, and deep things of the word of\nJehovah. It was from this fountain he derived his ideas, sentiments and\nexpressions, on all occasions; explaining doctrines, enforcing duties\nand resolving difficulties, well nigh, altogether in scripture words.\nThe _spirit of wisdom_ so rested upon him, that there was nothing of a\ndivine nature, which occurred to his own mind, or was proposed to him\nby others, respecting doctrines, experience, or practice, of which he\ncould not speak with convincing clearness and satisfaction.\n\nHe had a singular faculty for throwing light upon doubtful cases;\nand it was not unusual with him, by two or three words to set to\nrights, and entirely quiet the minds of persons, perplexed before,\nabout points of doctrine, or experience. A most remarkable instance of\nthis I remember to have known in _Ireland_: a person who was greatly\nembarrassed in his mind concerning a point in religion, which appeared\nto him of great importance, and who had received no satisfaction from\nall his former researches on the head, came to Mr. _Walsh_, and related\nthe matter to him; which having heard, he only asked one question,\nrequiring the person to answer. And whether it was, that God, just\nthen shone upon the man\u2019s soul, and by his immediate light solved\nthe difficulty; or whether it was through mere rational conviction,\nresulting from the arguments implied in his question, I know not; but\nhe was instantly satisfied, and being convinced of his former mistake,\nhad no further uneasiness on the head.\n\nHis insight into the invisible world, so realized to him things to come,\nthat he spake of them as one who both heard and saw them. And they had\ntheir proportionable influence on the whole of his behaviour. He acted\nas in the immediate presence of God; and thus went on reading and\nmeditating day and night, in the law of his God; and devouring, like\nanother _Ezekiel_, the whole divine volume.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER VIII.\n\n _His manner of preaching._\n\n\nAT first his sermons consisted chiefly, of a number of well chosen\ntexts of scripture, suited to the particular subject on which he\ntreated, and which, he, for the most part, cited with both the chapter\nand verse. He had in this manner formed, as it were, a body of divinity\nin his head, which was a kind of store house of his sermons. Time and\nexperience however, brought him off from the custom of, so particularly\nciting the places of the scriptures, he made use of; unless where he\njudged it singularly useful, both for the conviction and satisfaction\nof the hearers.\n\n*A constant course of reading, much conversation with the children of\nGod, and the acquaintance, which a life of faith, meditation and prayer,\ngave him with God, and with the motions of his own soul, greatly\nextended his views into divine things in general; and furnished him\nwith variety of subjects for the edification and comfort of the church\nof God: so that in the last two or three years of his course, his\nsermons had in them depth, and solidity, far beyond those of his former\nyears.\n\nThe state of his own heart, had much influence on the particular\nsubjects of his sermons: as is surely the case with all, to whom\npreaching is not a mere business of course: but on the contrary, an\naffair of the weightiest importance in the world, requiring the deepest\nattention and most circumspect walking. He knew that the words of an\n_unfeeling_ heart, are but empty sounds; and that although they might\nplease for the present, they rarely profit the hearers. And it was\non this account, that attending constantly to the motions of his own\nsoul, he hardly ever preached a sermon, without conveying nearly the\nlike sensations to others, whether of deep contrition of spirit, holy\nmourning, or spiritual joy, which he felt in his own soul.\n\n\u201cWhen, says he, I am in heaviness, I am led to speak chiefly of trials;\nwhen lively and fervent, I am led to speak of the comforts of believers;\nand when I am hungering and thirsting after righteousness, I press upon\nothers to cleanse themselves from all filthiness of flesh and spirit,\nand to perfect holiness. And hence I learn, 1st. How needful it is\nfor a preacher to be in a right spirit himself, whenever he speaks to\nothers. And, 2dly, The wisdom of God, in so ordering, that every soul\nmight receive its portion of the _milk of the word_ in due season.\u201d\n\n*All his sermons might be truly said to be his own from God. He stole\nnot the word from his neighbour, nor catched at trivial incidents to\nfurnish him with an hour\u2019s discourse. His heart was a treasury well\nfurnished, insomuch that he was never at a loss for something in season:\neven sometimes when he has been so taken up with other parts of his\ncalling, as not to have the least time for _preparing_ to preach; yet\nthe pourings out of his feeling soul, evidenced themselves to waiting\nhearts, to be of God.\n\n*There was nothing whining, light, or trivial in his discourses;\nnothing put on; nothing that could excite levity, much less laughter;\nbut rather, and which was commonly the case, groans and tears and cries.\nHis sermons had in them such a depth of divine truth, confirmed by\nthe word of God, with such a greatness and majesty as begot in the\nhearers an awe and reverence, which removed far away, all petulancy\nand thoughtless irreverence of spirit: and produced in many a solemnity\nand attention of soul, becoming those who hear discourses for life, or\ndeath eternal. To all of which, his grave and mortified countenance,\ncontributed not a little. In short his whole behaviour in the pulpit\nwas such, as became a messenger of God, put in trust with the ministry\nof reconciliation.\n\nHis discourses were suited to give a portion to everyone, as their need\nrequired; milk for babes, and for stronger men, stronger meat: though\nstill they had this tendency, with regard to all, to excite people\u2019s\nhearts to the pure love of God. *And although he preached _faith in\nChrist_ as the only way, of obtaining all the good things of grace\nand glory, yet he did it in such a manner as effectually to guard it\nagainst the abuse of libertines, who turn the freeness of the grace of\nGod, into an occasion of wantonness; who while they promise liberty to\nothers, are, at the same time servants of corruption. Persons of this\ncharacter could not in the least serve themselves from his discourses;\nin every one of which he so preached faith in Christ, as to _establish\nthe law_, in its true sense, that is, to secure all the interests\nof genuine holiness, both in heart and life; all the fruits of\nrighteousness; the most rigorous regard to mens duty to God, their\nneighbour, and themselves.\n\nWhen he first began to preach, his chief talent seemed to be for\nquickening such as were dead in trespasses and sins; for terrifying\ncareless sinners with the dread of God\u2019s judgments, alarming them, as\nit were, to flee from the wrath to come. It was \u2666truly said of him,\n\n \u201cHe fierce on the Philistines flies,\n _Compels_ the captives to come in;\n Spoils Satan of his lawful prize,\n And tears them from the toils of sin.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201ctuly\u201d replaced with \u201ctruly\u201d\n\nHis courage and resolution in this, were such as are rarely to be found.\nHe judged, that there was nothing more likely to pull down the strong\nholds of Satan, than to lay the axe to the root of sin; and in all his\nsermons, he ever used to discover its detestable nature, pressing upon\nthe conscience, an entire purgation from dead works. And he did it\nin such a manner as often pierced the very joints and marrow of his\nhearers.\n\nIt was easy to discover in him likewise, the utmost impartiality.\nKnowing that he was to deliver his Lord\u2019s message, he spared no man\nfrom any human regards: but boldly detecting their sin, commended\nhimself to every man\u2019s conscience in the _sight of God_.\n\nAnd yet, his zeal was tempered with wisdom and discretion for\nnotwithstanding his pressing vehemently upon the conscience of his\nhearers, in all his sermons, yet (although some were sometimes offended)\nthey were never able to resist the authority by which he spake.\n\nBut it was not as a _Boanerges_, a son of thunder only, that he\nexcelled. His own happy experience, of the forgiving, healing, and\ncomforting virtue of the blood of Jesus; together with his mighty\nacquaintance with the promises of life in him, fitted him for\nadministring comfort, and much encouragement to the weary, and the\nheavy-laden with sin; To such, he was in truth, a _son of consolation_;\nhis lips dropped sweetness to them, as the honey-comb.\n\n*O God, how many a bleeding wound hast thou made him an instrument\nof healing, by pouring into the hearts of the disconsolate, _the wine\nand oil_ of the gospel, in a rich profusion of those precious, golden\npromises, which being ratified to us by the holy blood of thy dear Son,\nare all yea, and amen in him, to thine eternal glory! Yes,\n\n \u201cRefreshing, soft, as vernal showers,\n His word, on weary sinners falls,\n Or, like the rapid torrent pours,\n While souls to Jesu\u2019s blood he calls!\u201d\n\n*It was scarcely possible for the most icy, and rocky heart, to remain\nlong so under his moving and authoritative discourse, laid home to the\nconscience, by the sword of the Spirit, which, like the flaming sword\nin paradise, turned every way, to every heart. And accordingly, it was\na very rare thing for him ever to preach a sermon, without sending some\naway, either broken-hearted, rejoicing in God, or increased more or\nless, in the knowledge of the Crucified.\n\n*Towards the latter part of his progress, the two last years of his\nlife especially, the whole bent of his soul, his reading, meditations,\nprayer, conversation and preaching, tended altogether, to the _deep\nthings of God_, (1\u00a0Corinthians ii.\u00a010.) the so perfectly loving him,\nwith _all_ the capacity of the soul and body, as the state of humanity\ncan admit. The entire salvation of God, from all sin, to all the mind\nthat was in Christ Jesus, was now his constant, and most beloved theme,\nboth in public and private. And he omitted nothing which might either\ninform his judgment, or affect his own, or the hearts of others, in\nreference to this most interesting concern of the children of God.\n\n*His thoughts on the head became therefore thoroughly digested; so that\nthere was hardly an objection which either Satan, men, or the heart\nof unbelief could bring against it, for which he had not a convincing\nanswer. His _own_ heart-acquaintance therewith, will be seen from a\nsubsequent account of his experience. The light which he had into the\nnature, and his fervent manner of enforcing the worth, and necessity\nof Christian holiness, was one great means of enkindling, in the hearts\nof many, that _fire_ of pure love, to God and man, which has since his\ndeath likewise, increased more abundantly, and still burns (O may it\never burn!) amongst us, to the greater glory of God. Only such as were\nexperimental witnesses of it, having a true relish for things of so\nhigh a nature, can rightly conceive of the abilities, with which God\nendowed him, for this part of his work; of the manner in which, he,\n\n With strength and utterance from above\n Urg\u2019d on the saints thro\u2019 grace forgiven,\n To scale the mount of holiest love,\n To seize the brightest throne in heaven!\n\nIn all his discourses on the subject, he as much as may be, carefully\navoided _his own_ words, both in explaining, and enforcing its nature,\nextent, and the means of attaining thereto. He did it in the words\nwhich the Holy Ghost teacheth, explaining those spiritual things, with\nspiritual words: (1\u00a0Corinthians ii.\u00a013.) while in the mean time, his\nfervent and affecting manner of urging them, and indeed every other\npart of the doctrine of salvation, commanded,\n\n \u2015\u2015\u2015\u201cAudience and attention, still as night\n Or summers noon-tide air.\u201d\n\nHe had not, it must be acknowledged, at least he had but little made\nuse of, the _art_ of preaching: not indeed that he was ignorant of\nsuch rules as, orators lay down for ordering, and conducting public\ndiscourses. His knowledge both of _Logic_ and _Rhetoric_ was far\nfrom being inconsiderable. He had both read, and in some good degree,\ndigested the principles of both. But the eagerness with which he\nproceeded in his work; and the rapid flow of his soul, sending forth\nits _good matter_, not like the distilling of a water-pot, but as a\nplentiful shower from the heavens, watering deep and wide all around,\ndid not suffer him to attend, with exactness, to such niceties in\ncomposition or delivery: nay, even prevented that moderation, as to\nthe length, and manner of delivering his discourses, which would have\nbeen much more easy to himself, and to his audience, many of them being\noften in pain for him.\n\n*Yet afterwards, when the repeated advice of his friends, and the\nnecessity of his constitution, obliged him to a more slow, and\ndeliberate manner, some ascribed it to (what they called) his _want\nof power_; such is the folly and weakness of many, in their sentiments\nwith regard to this particular! How common is it to imagine, that\nthe presence and power of the Spirit of God, and that influence by\nwhich souls are awakened, justified, or built up in holiness, depends\nupon the loudness of the preacher\u2019s voice, or the swiftness of his\nexpression? In other words, upon the strength of a man\u2019s lungs, and\nit may be, the assurance of his gesture and utterance. A sentiment\nnot more strange to the truly wise, than it is common with many. As\nthough noise, and animal activity should be dignified with the names of\n_spirit and power_, and the want of them ascribed to dryness, deadness\nand formality! Strictly speaking indeed, there is no _necessary_ divine\npower in any man\u2019s _manner_ of speaking, whether loud or low, swiftly\nor softly. _It is the Spirit that quickeneth_, and as he pleaseth; and\nit may be questioned, whether effects that have been sometimes produced,\nby a loud, vehement, and overbearing manner of speaking, were not in\ngreat measure merely mechanical, if not of _Satan_ himself, to cast\nan odium upon the work of God. In truth the most substantial, genuine\neffects of the gospel ministry, arise from its delivery, not with noise\nand human vehemence, (which often rather calls off the mind from the\ninward life and communion with God:) but with distinct calmness, and\nwise deliberation.\n\nThere may often be a strong wind, an earthquake, and fire; but the Lord\n_is in the still, small voice_, (1\u00a0Kings xix. 11.\u00a012.) and those are\nonly in order to this. His word, it is true, is a sword, and a hammer,\nwhich wounds and breaks human hearts in pieces; and any one\u2019s _manner_\nof speaking contributes towards this so far as it is to be commended.\nBut considered independently of this (which is too often the case) the\nloudness of a man\u2019s voice is in reality no better than the blowing of a\ntrumpet, or the sound of a drum. _Not by might, or by power, but by my\nSpirit, saith the Lord of hosts._ What is here intended, is nakedly to\nrepresent a common mistake, in order to its removal.\n\nHis sermons were seldom less than an hour long; and yet, had in them\nsuch an agreeable variety, that they were rarely, if ever tedious,\nunless to such as wanted a savour for the things of God.\n\nHe was always at the conclusion, in a bath of sweat. And the place of\npreaching being often at some distance from his lodging, his suddenly\ngrowing cold again, was one reason of the frequency of the fevers which\nhe had from time to time, during his whole life of public labour.\n\nHe often resolved before he began to preach, to restrain the rapidity\nof his spirit, but in vain: \u201cThe sword (as he once said to me) being\ntoo keen for the scabbard.\u201d The fervour of his soul broke through all\nhis resolutions, but wasted at the same time, the very springs of life,\nwhich he felt immediately afterwards.\n\nWith regard to the manner of his preparing for sermons, he seemed\nto keep between the two extremes, neglect of all actual, previous\npreparation, and a dry scholastic composition of exact materials. To\nhave no regard to the matter, and manner of his discourses before hand,\nunder the pretence of dependance upon heaven, for immediate influence\nand utterance, he judged to be rank enthusiasm; and often, a cloke for\na lazy, indolence of spirit; on account, of which, nonsense has been\ntoo often dignified with the sacred names of _inspiration_ and power.\nAnd yet, he judged it alike culpable, to seek after and trust to mere\ndry human skill, in fixing upon heads, and taking such measures, as\nto preach only ones self, independant as it were, on the quickening,\nenlighting presence of the _Holy Ghost_, without which all preaching\nand all hearing are vain.\n\n*He prayed and studied, and studied and prayed again, going always\n(unless necessity prevented) from his closet and off his knees, into\nthe pulpit. But when he came there, he gave himself up wholly into the\nhands of God, to be actuated and used by him, in all respects, as might\nbe most for his glory. And it was glorious and wonderful, to see the\ngood effects, which were produced at those times, by the words of God\nflowing from his lips, and entering into the heart, without indeed\nthe ornaments of studied eloquence, but in their native majesty and\nsimplicity; such as they are in themselves, and as he himself relished\nthem. One circumstance relating to his manner, was, that he almost\nalways begun, and in general concluded his sermons with a text of\nscripture: but so judiciously chosen, as seldom failed to touch the\nheart, and frequently to cast light on the whole subject.\n\nOne might easily gather from his way of preaching, how sensible he\nwas of a mistake in many preachers, who content themselves, supposing\nthere be but _demonstration_ in their sermons, that they have spoken\nthings which cannot be gainsay\u2019d. Whereas if there be nothing more\nthan clearness of demonstration, it may indeed be said to the preacher,\n_thou preachest well_; but what then? Who are quickened in their\npursuit of God and heaven? Who hates his sins? Or who loves God the\nmore for your discourse? Now where these are not to be found, may\nnot a sinner as well be hearkening to a mathematician demonstrating\n_Euclid_\u2019s elements, as to a preacher preaching thus?\n\nIt was far from satisfying him that his sermons had in them sufficient\ndemonstration. Still retaining in mind, What is the _end_ of preaching,\nbringing souls acquainted with, and building them up in God; he rated\nhis sermons accordingly: and for the more effectual promotion of this,\nstudied to be well acquainted with all the motions of the human heart,\npointing his discourses there continually; laying hold, as it were of\nits very inmost thoughts, and with the sinners own weapons, slaying the\nenemies of his salvation. He applied to the conscience at every turn,\nand after having at any time demonstrated a peculiarly interesting\ntruth of a general nature, he always took care to make it a personal\nthing, by questioning the heart of every one concerning their part\ntherein. He frequently introduced, by way of comparison, many of the\nincidental occurrences in life, things respecting callings, families,\nand a thousand little matters, by which the great concerns of the soul\nenter more deeply and sensibly into the minds of the common people. I\nhave heard a woman of known integrity say, that intending one evening\nto have his judgment, after preaching on several particulars, which\nwere a weight to her mind; he so anticipated every objection, and\nanswered them in the sermon, that she needed no farther enquiry.\n\n*It was usual with him in his sermons, to propose and answer divers\ncases of conscience, which was an inexpressible satisfaction to many.\nIn describing of vices (for which he was eminently remarkable) he did\nnot so much dwell upon the vice itself abstractedly, as he shewed the\n_persons_ to themselves, who were guilty thereof; and represented the\nunavoidable danger of such as lived and died therein. It was not so\nmuch _pride, envy, anger, lust, drunkenness, swearing_, and the like,\nwhich he painted in their detestable nature, (though he did this also;)\nbut his drift at such times, was to describe the _proud_, the _envious_,\nthe _angry_, and the _lustful man_; to alarm the drunkard, and the\nswearer, &c. as with the voice of thunder, to escape for their lives.\nThe most guilty person can sit and hear his vice described, with\ncomposure enough; but the conscience of a sinner cannot so easily\nescape, when the preacher speaking as it were to one person (though\nwithout particularizing any) charges it home, _Thou art the man_. It\nwas in this way that his sermons were, by the grace of God, effectual\nto the awakening and converting of so many.\n\nHis whole life being one series of holy living and mental improvement,\npreserved his heart, like an ever-fresh, and overflowing fountain,\nwhich on every occasion poured forth its fruitful streams of holy\ndoctrine, and persuasive exhortation. It was easy to discern, that\nhe _felt_ the things he delivered. He gave himself wholly to this one\nthing; and, which was the crowning glory of all, was himself a pattern\nof the truths he taught.\n\n His own example strengthens all his laws;\n He is himself the gracious saint he draws.\n\n*Indeed this was first and last, his main concern, That while he\nministered to the wants of others, he might not sustain loss in his own\nsoul, nor have to take up that sad complaint, _They made me keeper of\nthe vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept_.\u00b9 It is a fearful\ncase for a preacher, to be only like a channel in a garden, through\nwhich the water runs to cool and moisten the herbs and flowers, but\nnothing for its own use; if not like the spoils of bevers, sheep and\nsilk-worms, designed to cloath others, which are made the occasion of\ntheir own nakedness, if not the cause of their death. This indeed is\nnever the intention of God, concerning his servants; but men bring it\nupon themselves through the abuse of his favours. What is this but to\nbuild a fortune for others, upon the ruins of one\u2019s own house, while\n_after preaching to others, thou thyself dost become a castaway_.\n\n \u00b9 Canticles i.\u00a06.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER IX.\n\n _Of his frequent sickness, the exercises of his mind therein,\n and the improvement which he made thereof._\n\n\nHIS original constitution was strong, and his make and stature such,\nas, humanly speaking, indicated health and long life. He seemed free\nfrom those incumbrances of constitution which some have to struggle\nwith well nigh all their days. His complexion tended rather to the\nmelancholic, although from his fervour of spirit, one would have\nthought the contrary. But the grace of God, is powerful to alter, and\neven invert the course of nature. However, the natural temperature of\nhis body seemed well calculated both for the service of God, and of his\nneighbour.\n\nBut in fact, if his bones had been brass, and his flesh iron, they\nmust have yielded to the violence which his labours offered to his\nconstitution. He enjoyed good health till above nineteen, which was\nthe year of his conversion to God. But from the twentieth to the\ntwenty-eighth, his life may be said to have been a lingering death;\nas he never was a day free from pain or weakness.\n\nA slow fever, and pain at his stomach were, for the most part, his\ncompanions, day and night. The manner of his preaching, intense\nstudy, little rest, and frequent fatigues, broke the very frame of his\nnature, and brought him in a short time to such a habit of body, as no\nmedicines were able to remove.\n\n\u201cIt is, as he once expressed it, (speaking of his illness) in the work\nof God, in the cause of Christ! Therefore I rejoice; for I count not my\nlife dear to myself, if I may but glorify my Lord God, and only Master,\nJesus Christ.\u201d It is surprizing, that, considering his weakness and\nhabitual disorders, he could go thro\u2019 such daily and nightly labours as\nhe did: nor can it be accounted for otherwise, than that the strength\nof God was made perfect in his weakness. Sometimes (says he) when I\nbegin the labour of love, I am hardly able, either to walk or speak;\nbut after I have laboured a while, I find new strength, and am even\nbetter than when I begun!\u201d\n\nAs to the use which he always made of his illnesses, it will be best\ngathered from his own words.\n\n*\u201c_Tuesday, January 18, 1751._ I preached on _Matthew v.\u00a03._ but\ncould not finish; being seized with an ague. Immediately I went to\nbed. I could rest in the will of God, being persuaded it was for the\nbetter. True it is, that afflictions are not joyous, but grievous\nwhile they last, though afterwards they yield the peaceable fruits\nof righteousness. How great, O my God, are thy goodness, and tender\nmercies towards me! If I had a thousand tongues, I could not praise\nmy God as he deserves. He remembers me in the time of my trouble, and\nleaves not my soul comfortless. Lord, there is nothing good in me,\nthat thou shouldst regard, and so remember me. All is of thy free\ngrace, and undeserved mercy. O the ravishing joy that seizes my heart,\nin meditating on the dying love of my Saviour! It raises me above all\nhuman things, and carries my soul deep into the mysteries of godliness.\u201d\n\nTwo things he then especially remarked,\n\n1st. How sad an affair it is to leave the work of salvation to a time\nof sickness? \u201cExperience has strongly taught me, that if my peace\nwas not made before such an affliction (referring to a violent fever,\nas this was) it would never have been made, distraction, and almost\nmadness would take up the time; and not repentance. Look O Jesus upon\nthose who are putting the evil day afar off.\u201d\n\n2dly. That before each of his illnesses; he had had remarkable displays\nof the divine goodness towards him. Thus he says, \u201cI cannot but remark\nthe exceeding goodness of God, for before my illnesses for some years\npast, he always gives me a clear manifestation of his love.\u201d\n\nThe following account was after a fever, which lasted nine and twenty\ndays, at a place called _Tirrelspass_ in _Ireland_.\n\n1. \u201cI had no joy for twenty days. The severity of my sickness and pain,\npressed down my soul. Neither divine light nor love shone into my heart;\nyet I prayed often with freedom \u2666and fervour.\u201d\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cand\u201d removed\n\n2. \u201cI had no strong temptations; no fear of death, or hell: neither had\nI any desire to die. On the thirteenth day, I had an assurance, that\nI should not die in _Tirrelspass_. My greatest uneasiness arose from\nthe place where I lay, which was a narrow room, with a shop adjoining,\nwhere was hurry and noise almost continually. This circumstance, thro\u2019\nthe evil of my heart, often became a temptation to impatience. But I\ncried unto the Lord, and he made every thing more easy to me every day.\u201d\n\n3. \u201cAbout the twentieth day, my soul and body much revived. I could\nafter a night of heaviness rejoice in God. I experienced much of the\nlove of Christ. But yet I felt the old man. Alas! what an evil heart\nhave I! How hard is it to humble me, and wean my desires from earth?\nLord, Thou knowest my heart and reins. And is it not my desire to love\nthee with all my soul, and serve thee with all my strength?\u201d\n\n \u201cIs there a thing beneath the sun,\n That strives with thee my heart to share?\n Ah, tear it thence, and reign alone\n The Lord of ev\u2019ry motion there!\u201d\n\n4. \u201cOn the twenty-sixth day, early in the morning, the gracious Lord\nreplenished my soul with his love. He poured out his Spirit upon me.\nThe intercourse was open between heaven and my soul. I loved, and\ncould pray for all the world, as for myself. O how does Christ inlarge\nthe heart! What flames of divine charity does he kindle there! The\ntwenty-seventh day I had such a sense of the mercy of God as quite\novercame my soul. In the evening however, I felt a severe struggle: but\nthe blessed Spirit soon set my heart at liberty.\u201d\n\n\u201cLord, since it hath pleased thee, to spare me a little longer, make my\nlife useful. Let me be wholly given up to thee, and thy service, that\nI may glorify thee, in all things, thro\u2019 Jesus Christ, my dearest Lord\nand Saviour. _Amen._\u201d\n\n\u201c_Limerick, October 28, 1755._ I was seized with a fever, which\nconfined me to my room, till _Friday, November\u00a07._ I remark the\nfollowing particulars,\u201d\n\n*\u201c1st. I examined what might be the cause of this illness; but could\nnot discern any thing in particular. I saw indeed that many of my\ntempers, words and actions were not truly holy. I was ashamed of my\nbest performances, I saw my best living as a mere blot: yet the guilt\nof no particular sin lay upon my conscience.\u201d\n\n\u201c2dly. I was more subject to temptation in this sickness than usual:\nnot indeed to think hard of God, or repine at my illness: but I\nhad spiritual conflicts, wrestlings against _principalities and\npowers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world; against\nwicked spirits in high places_. The third day, which was _Thursday,\nOctober\u00a030_, I had the sorest conflict that ever I felt. I was suddenly\nseized in body, and amazed in mind. I thought every moment would have\nbeen my last. I had a vehement thirst. My tongue was dry and turgid.\nAnd my soul was in an agony. I was overwhelmed with fear, sorrow, and\nsore affliction.\u201d\n\n*\u201cAll the sins of my life passed before me, but especially those which\nwere since I had been enlightened, and since I preached the gospel. I\nsaw, and felt myself hell-deserving; that I was nothing, and could do\nno good work before God. I was really poor, in such a manner and degree,\nas I never felt before. I was stript, humbled, emptied, laid open,\nconfounded and afraid of God\u2019s judgments; tho\u2019 not afraid of the devil,\nor hell. Nay, I all the while knew I had redemption in the blood of\nJesus, and that all my sins were forgiven. Who can understand? Only\nsuch as have felt the same.\u201d\n\n\u201c3dly, In the midst of my troubles, I had liberty in prayer. My\nunderstanding and memory remained with me, and abundance of spiritual\nmatter was suggested to my mind. Even passages of scripture, that I\nnever used before, were brought to me in prayer. I was alarmed in every\npart, and cried mightily to God. I cried to all about me to pray for me.\nSurely they saw the bitterness of my soul. God remember them for good,\nwho then sympathized with me in my trouble.\u201d\n\n*\u201c4thly, It left me gradually, and without any sensible joy. Peace and\nconfidence arose by degrees, in my spirit. The very extremity of the\ncombat, lasted about a quarter of an hour. It just then occurred to me,\nthat some days before, I heard Jesus, as it were, speak, and say to me,\n_Satan hath desired to have thee, that he may sift you as wheat, but\nI have prayed for thee, that thy faith may not fail_. And now I fully\nunderstood it. In so many instances, are those words of our Lord true,\n\u2018What I do, thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201c5thly, I felt, (and might it not be the design of God in the whole?)\nThat the name of Jesus alone could avail to bring me to God. I had\nsuch a deep sense of this, as I never had before. I had besides,\nextraordinary evidence of the eternal power and godhead of Christ Jesus.\nIn all my illnesses this truth has been wonderfully revealed to me,\nboth by the external evidence of holy writ, and the internal evidence\nof the holy Spirit. None of the prayers which I made use of, so foiled\nand drove away _Satan_, as \u2018Jesus, Son of the living God, have mercy\nupon, and save me from this hour.\u2019 Likewise the fifty-third of _Isaiah_,\nthe twenty-third of _Jeremiah_, and the sixteenth of St. _Matthew_,\nwith much of the _Revelation_, came into my mind: and my prayers were\nmade up chiefly of passages from these places. I cried out, when I\nthought I should speak no more, and said, Lord, I have trusted in thee,\nand I believe thou wilt raise me up at the last day.\u201d\n\n\u201cI had at the same time, most earnest desires, to be made holy. I saw\nmore clearly than ever the nature and necessity of perfect love; and\nwas fully persuaded of the necessity of preaching Christian perfection,\nand of declaring, that all is of grace.\u201d\n\n\u201c6thly, For four or five days, after it was over, I had much of the\npresence of God, and of Christ. Many scripture truths revealed to me,\nand strong assurances, that God would spare me a little longer, to\npreach his gospel to the ignorant, and them that are out of the way,\nand to help forward the faith of his children.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI write this account _November\u00a08, 1755_, being pretty free from\nbodily pain, at peace with God, and all mankind, desirous, and\ndetermined to live wholly to the glory of God; to be a servant of all,\ngiving my life, time, and strength, with every other talent intrusted\nto me, to God, and the church, which my dear Jesus purchased with his\nblood. To him with the Almighty Father, and eternal Spirit, be ascribed\nthe kingdom, power, and glory, for ever, and to eternity.\u201d\n\nThe very day on which he wrote these reflections, and the first of his\ngoing out, after this illness, it being a day appointed for fasting and\nprayer, to avert the judgment of God, which seemed impending over these\nnations; he was taken in a chair to the preaching-house, and preached\nfor a full hour, \u201chaving (as he expresses it) a deep sense of the\nmajesty of God, and joyful confidence, that he would defend the real\n_Israelites_ from the impending evil.\u201d\n\nThe frequent experience which he had of remarkable escapes from\nconfinement, by disorders which threatened him with a sudden removal\nhence, and these in times of preaching especially, made it a frequent\nand felt expression with him, \u201cWhen I am weak, then I am strong.\u201d\n\n\u201cWhen one knows (says he, on another of these occasions) that God is\nfor him, that he has redemption in the blood of Christ, then whether\nhe be rich, or poor, in sickness, or in health, he is happy, and can\nrejoice. Have I recovered my strength? And am I freely forgiven my\nformer trespasses? Does the Spirit of God dwell in my heart? And can I\nby faith behold a reconciled God, and interceding Saviour, at his right\nhand? Well, then, welcome sickness, contempt, poverty, and death. If\nI meet with worldly troubles, \u2019tis to make my crown the brighter. If\nI suffer for Christ\u2019s sake, happy am I. If I bear the cross, I shall\nwear the crown. Is my body cold? I am warmed with the flames of sacred\nlove; naked? I have a covering of wrought gold, the righteousness of\nmy Saviour! Hungry? I have meat to eat the world knoweth not of, _the\nhidden manna, and the bread of life_. Let me suffer then with Christ.\nMen may kill my body; but it would only send me the sooner to heaven.\u201d\n\nThe following instance, the last I shall mention on this head, is the\nrather inserted, because in it may be seen a true picture of the man,\nfrom the free pourings out of his own heart. It was at _Bristol_, after\nrecovering from a dangerous fever.\n\n*\u201cFor three days last past, I had much converse with God, and vehement\ndesires to live wholly to his glory. I have enquired into the reason\nof mine affliction, and think, God did it to humble me, that I should\nnot be puffed up with the praises of the people. They cannot indeed too\nmuch admire the truths of God, nor be too thankful to him for them. But\nthe danger was, lest I should think myself somebody: yet I cannot lay\nto my own charge the desire of applause, neither did I find it lift me\nup: on the contrary, it often made me ashamed, knowing my own vileness,\nand how little I either suffered or did for God.\u201d\n\n*\u201cAnd truly I was never more sensible of my unprofitableness, than I am\nat this hour. I blush to see and hear how others live, and have lived;\nand at how low a rate I yet live. But above all, when I consider the\nlife of the holy Jesus, O how far short do I come! I am not entirely\ndead to myself. I am not altogether free from affection to creatures.\nI cannot rejoice equally to suffer, as to be comforted. I speak words\nI ought not. I spend some minutes unprofitably. In short, I do not love\nGod, or my neighbour as I ought.\u201d\n\n*\u201cO, was it not for free grace, and the blood of sprinkling, where\nshould I appear! But thou knowest my desire, or rather the desire of\nthy spirit within me. Thou knowest that there hast never been a saint\nupon earth whom I do not desire to resemble, in doing and suffering\nthy whole will. I would walk with thee, my God, as _Enoch_ did. I would\nfollow thee to a land unknown, as _Abraham_ did. I would renounce all\nfor thee, as did _Moses_, and _Paul_. I would, as did _Stephen_, seal\nthy truth with my blood!\u201d\n\n*\u201cIs not this the desire of my soul, O my Saviour? O, give me power;\ngive grace and constancy. For unless thou helpest, all my longings and\npraying will prove fruitless. But if thou waterest these plants, of\nthine own right hand\u2019s planting, this grain shall become a great tree,\nand my soul shall be swallowed up in thee my Lord God!\u201d\n\n\u201cJesus was my comfort, and my joy, my life, and my strength. O, if\nI had not Jesus for my help, I should be miserable. But since I have\nthee I am happy in these my afflictions. The lovely smiles of thy\ncountenance, which shine with glory, revive and raise me. O, divine\nlove! What hast thou done for me, a poor sinner! Bless the Lord, O my\nsoul, and forget not his benefits.\n\n\u201cO that my soul was loosened from this body, that I might ascend the\nholy hill of the Lord! My Jesus, when shall I behold Thee face to face!\nO that this separate wall was broken down, this partition taken away,\nand that I could even now enter into the celestial courts there to sing\neverlasting hallelujah\u2019s to my Lord, God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,\n_Amen_!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER X.\n\n _Of his temptations, conflicts and various exercises of soul._\n\n\nIT is a point of wisdom, well worthy our \u2666pursuit, to know what in the\ncourse of our experience we ought to ascribe to God, to angels, whether\ngood or evil, and to ourselves. How greatly would it contribute to\nprevent many evil reasonings and self-tormenting consternations? And\nit is a point of knowledge to which _the children of the kingdom_ do\nactually attain through faith and prayer.\n\n \u2666 \u201cpusuit\u201d replaced with \u201cpursuit\u201d\n\nThe following few particulars, in the course of the experience of this\nman of God, which are ascribed to the agency of the power of darkness,\nare (among an infinity of other instances in the world) sufficient\nproofs of the attempts of those malicious spirits, to _steal and to\ndestroy_, to rob us of the grace of God, and to destroy our souls.\n\nConcerning the variety of inward conflicts which he went through, he\noften took notice that they were greatest on the Lord\u2019s day; and says\non the occasion, \u201cLord I am more afflicted on thy day, than on any\nother. Thou knowest the cause. If it be the enemy that afflicts me, do\nthou rebuke him; let him have no power over my body or soul. And O give\nme thy meek, and long-suffering mind to bear whatsoever burden thou\npermittest to come upon me.\u201d\n\nHe observes likewise, When I have most life and power in preaching,\nthen the devil and sin muster all their force, and thrust sore at me.\nBut hitherto God has preserved me both from the great offence, and from\nmisery and dejection.\n\nThe instances of the resistance he found in the time of preaching from\ninvisible powers, were highly remarkable. He has sometimes started\nin amaze, at horrible injections, concerning God, or Christ, or some\nfundamental article of the Christian religion; even then, while he\nhas been powerfully asserting, proving, and enforcing it. I have often\nheard him say, there was not a single divine truth, in the which he\nwas then established, for which he had not fought, resisting as it were\nunto blood. For he would take nothing upon trust; nor see with the eyes\nof others. He derived his sentiments, from the fountain head. His best\nthings came from God in the way of _labour_ and _striving_.\n\nHe has been sometimes deprived of the use of some of his senses, during\nthe very time of preaching: once in particular, 1751. In the midst of\nhis discourse, he, in an instant lost his eye-sight and fell back in\nthe pulpit, yet retaining, during the whole time, the perfect use of\nhis understanding: he however, soon recovered, and finished his sermon.\nHe believed, \u2666and was not confounded.\n\n \u2666 duplicate word \u201cand\u201d removed\n\nOften when he has been disturbed in the silence of the night in ways\nmore than natural, well knowing the cause, he has with much confidence,\nin the name of Jesus commanded the adversary to be gone; and he found\nit always according to his faith.\n\nRiding one day with a friend, and talking as he was wont, of the\ngoodness of God, and of the confidence which he found in him.\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u201cJust\nthen, (says he) my horse on a plain place threw me over his head. As I\ncame to the ground, it was, as it were, sounded in my ears, \u2018Will you\ntrust God now?\u2019 Yes I said, for ever! Through the mercy of the Lord I\nwas not hurt. I saw an enemy had done it. I was thankful and felt no\ncontrary emotion in my heart.\u201d\n\nOne particular which ought perhaps to be reduced to this head,\nand which to some, no doubt, will appear singular, was a painful\napprehension, which he sometimes had of dying. And what renders it the\nmore observable is, that it was so even at those times, when he could\ntruly _triumph_ in Christ, knowing that he should be with him for ever.\nOf this we have the following account from himself.\n\n\u201c_Saturday, December 1, 1753._ After preaching I studied closely till\nten. I found infinite sweetness in God; and much power breathed into\nmy soul after all _the mind of_ Christ. At present I am tempted chiefly\nwith the fear of death. I believe my pardon is sealed by the blood of\nthe covenant. I have no fear of hell, and yet I am sorely apprehensive\nof death.\u201d Again,\n\n\u201c_Monday 22d._ I was this day, as I have been frequently of late much\nperplexed at the thought of dying. I believe my Redeemer liveth, and\nthat I have an interest in his blood, and yet, notwithstanding, I am\nsore amazed at the thought of dissolution.\u201d\n\nAnd thus in reality it was with this servant of God; so that the\nuncomfortable apprehensions which he sometimes felt, even till near\nhis end, in regard of dying must needs be ascribed, chiefly, to the\npermission of God to Satan, to exercise him in this manner; and may be\nconsidered as a _thorn_ in his _flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet\nhim_; perhaps partly for the easement of other tempted souls, and with\nregard to himself, thereby more fully\n\n \u201cTo prove him, and illustrate his high worth,\n Whose constant perseverance overcame\n Whatever _Satan\u2019s_ malice could invent.\u201d\u00b9\n\n \u00b9 Milton.\n\nHe studied deeply the nature of the Christian warfare, and was well\npractised in the use of its weapons. His thoughts on _the whole armour\nof_ God,\u00b9 \u2666were the genuine result of his own experience. The combats\nwhich he met with, needed not less than the whole; and he both tried,\nand proved that every part thereof is indeed essential. Something very\ndifferent from the preceeding particulars he relates as follows,\n\n \u00b9 There is a sermon of his printed under this title.\n\n \u2666 \u201cwhere\u201d replaced with \u201cwere\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, August 2, 1754._ I talked with one to-day, who was sorely\ntempted, (how mysterious!) to kill me; and for no other reason than\nbecause she was awakened under my preaching to feel herself a poor lost\nsinner.\u201d Again,\n\n\u201c_September 16._ After preaching, a young woman came to me, and said,\nthat some time before, she had brought a knife with her to preaching,\nintending to kill me; but was so terrified under the last prayer, that\nshe durst not attempt it. The devil suggested, that if she did but take\naway my life, the burden which she felt through my preaching, would\nimmediately depart.\u201d\n\nI shall conclude this chapter with a few other particulars, relating to\nthis head of trials, taken from his own words.\n\n\u201cThis day I was sorely tempted. _Satan_ threw many of his _fiery darts_\nat me. I never before felt such agony in resisting, what are commonly\ncalled blasphemous thoughts. I cried unto the Lord, and he delivered\nme!\u201d\n\n\u201cIn the evening (not of the same day) I was in great distress. My soul\nwas much weighed down. I felt grievous horror in my spirit, and yet I\nwas resolved, although the Lord should slay me, to trust in him. In the\nvery hour that I came to this resolution, my burden was removed; and\nthe Lord gave me to rejoice in spirit.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis day, (_April 1754_) I had conversation with some Christian\nfriends, concerning temptations, and the general experience of the\nsaints. And however _Satan_ may be permitted to trouble their body or\nsoul, I always believed, that God doth not hide his face, unless to\npunish us for commission of sin, or omission of duty. And the more I\nmeditate upon this subject, the more abundantly I am confirmed in my\njudgment.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Thursday 21._ I had a miserable night. Sometime after I went to bed,\nI was sorely assaulted of the devil. I attempted to compose myself,\nbut could not. I was suddenly seized with a weakness, and cold sweat.\nMy heart failed me. My soul was afflicted; my spirit was grieved,\nand sore vexed. The eye of my faith was darkened; the sense of God\u2019s\nlove departed; and the anger of the Lord seemed revealed towards me. I\ncould see nothing but thick darkness, and hear nothing but thundrings\nfrom _Sinai_! It seemed to me, as though there was a struggle between\njustice and mercy concerning me. But although I was in such confusion,\nand perplexity, I saw that mercy got the victory, and triumphed over\njudgment.\u201d\n\n*\u201cMy strength so failed me that it seemed as though I had not an hour\nto live. I rose however, and dressed myself; but could scarcely pray\none word. I cried Mercy! Mercy! Mercy! I stretched myself upon the\nfloor, and could weep only a few tears. I had gone through sore trouble\nand darkness before this time; but such a night as this, I never had\nbefore (and O my God, may I never see such another.) After being for\nsome time on the floor, I got up and walked a little, about the room;\nand then threw myself upon my knees. Being a little revived, I went to\nbed again. During the little while I slept, I had before me the cause\nof my trouble. I soon got up, and my head was now as water, and my eyes\na fountain of tears.\n\n\u201cMy confidence returned, so that I could look up and believe that the\nLord was mine. I went and preached on _Zechariah iv.\u00a07._ _Who art thou\nO great mountain? Before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain; and he\nshall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, grace,\ngrace unto it._ And my soul was humbled to the dust. My praying and\npreaching was from my very heart. Let it be for ever remembered, to the\nglory of the great God, and my Saviour Christ, that I was not suffered\nto be long in this condition. In about half an hour, I received some\nconfidence, and in the morning my faith was increased.\n\n\u201cLet it be also remarked, that the scripture promises were of great\ncomfort to me, particularly _Hosea xiv.\u00a01._ _John ii. 2,\u00a03._ Glory,\nhonour, praise, worship, and dominion be ascribed unto thee, O Lord!\nYe angels of God, bless him on my behalf! Let all in heaven and all in\nearth join to worship the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!\u201d The\nfollowing was some time after.\n\n\u201c_Tuesday, 21._ I had a sorrowful morning. My soul was in heaviness\nthrough manifold temptations. The enemy came upon me in my sleep, and\ngrieved my soul. Although I had joy at night, yet sorrow attended me\nin the morning. I had intended to have preached on the beatitudes; but\nfinding myself full of troubles and temptations, I changed my purpose\nand preached from _Hebrews iv. 14\u201216._ O my God, must I perish? Hast\nthou brought me thus far and shall I be cast off? O, forbid it Saviour.\nForsake not the work of thine own hands. Come and destroy the work of\nthe devil! My God, my God, do not forsake me. Thou knowest that sin is\nhateful to me. Have I not a love to righteousness? Do not my soul and\nflesh cry out for the living God? Am I not willing to go even through\nthe fire, rather than offend Thee? Why then should the enemy prevail\nagainst me?\n\n\u201cJesus hast thou not bought my soul? Am not I thine? O that my head\nwere waters, O that I could even weep tears of blood: Lord God let not\nthy loving kindness depart from me. Where art thou Jesus thou Son of\nGod! My great High-Priest, where is thy atoning blood? Where is he that\nwas tempted in all points like unto me? Is there no help for me in my\nGod? Why art thou cast down O my soul? O that I could yield my last\nbreath, if nothing else will end the strife! Oh! the languishments of\nmy soul for an absent God! How does my spirit faint within me! How do I\npine! O sun of righteousness, arise upon me with healing in thy wings.\nCome Lord Jesus, O come, and save me for thy mercy\u2019s sake. Where are\nthe soundings of thy bowels, Dost thou not see my labouring breast? Is\nnot my pain even worse than strangling? Return O Lord, see my gasping\nlonging, aching heart. Am I not an object of pity? Have I not need of\nThee! Now answer me by fire! Get thyself the victory! I want the seal\nof thy Spirit, the earnest of my heaven!\u201d\n\nThe Lord did hear his prayer. I find it therefore added soon after.\n\u201cO how plentifully did the Lord pour his love and consolation into my\nsoul! I am amazed at the goodness and long-suffering of God towards\nme. And I observe in general, that after great heaviness and conflicts,\ncome extraordinary joy and consolation. O may I husband well this\nprecious gift of God!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER XI.\n\n _His communion with God._\n\n\nUNDER this head, is comprehended the whole of his conduct, and\nexperience, as a Christian, considered in his private capacity. And\nfor this especially, we are furnished with the most ample materials,\nboth from the general tenor of his conversation and from his diary.\n\nHe lived for this _one thing_. All his actions and employments had this\nsingle tendency; and he considered every thing else, with reference\nthereto: making his estimate of the good or evil of every intention,\naction, exercise, and understanding, according as it tended to promote,\nor hinder this best of pursuits, and noblest enjoyment of the human\nsoul.\n\nWithout regarding the inclinations of nature, he embraced, or rejected\nevery thing, with a view altogether to the promotion of the holy and\nhappy fellowship of his soul with the Father, and with his Son Jesus\nChrist.\n\nI am aware, how much more easy it is to _say_ great things on this head,\nconcerning one\u2019s self, or others, than to say _nothing_ but the truth.\nAnd it may be questioned, whether the greater part of the shining\naccounts hereof which we have seen, are the simple truth: the writers\noften shewing, rather what _they could say_, than what the persons whom\nthey describe, _really were_. It is a fruitless expectation to look for\nmore in men, than the state of humanity really admits.\n\nThe perfection of human kind is such a state of mind and body, as their\nnature admits of, and as God has provided for them, in the ocean of\nhis love, and treasures of his grace. The sum of our perfection is,\nthat being saved from all our enemies, (that is sins, including all\nwrong tempers, as well as words, and actions,) we love God with all\nthe powers of the soul, and serve him, with the whole capacity, of both\nour soul and body. And whoever has attained to this (which whoso denies\nthe possibility of, rejects the counsel and word of God) is, a _perfect\nman_, according to the scripture; manifold infirmities, necessarily\nconnected with a dying body notwithstanding.\n\n*This servant of God had his infirmities, properly so called, which\noften made him weep in secret places. And yet, so powerfully did the\ngrace of our Lord work in him, to the destruction of sin; and to such a\ndegree of victory did he attain over himself, the world and Satan, that,\nto many, he seemed more than human; being in truth a man of another\nworld, in whom dwelt richly the Spirit of the living God.\n\nTo such as were witnesses of his fervent zeal, mighty prayer, steady\nseriousness, and habitual heavenly-mindedness, I shall not wonder if\nall that follows, seems far short of a full description of him. And yet,\nI am aware on the other hand, that to many others, it may have all the\nair of mere ideal flight, or enthusiastic folly; to persons, who, cold\nthemselves, think ardor comes from hell.\n\nThe deep, and genuine _acquaintance with God_, to which he attained,\nwas in truth beyond that which the generality of Christians arrive at;\nalthough all are, without doubt, equally entitled thereto. He truly\n_put off the old man with his deeds_, and became _renewed in the spirit\nof_ his _mind_. He fully experienced the significancy of those words,\n_Sin shall not have dominion over you_. And _he that hath suffered in\nthe flesh, hath ceased from sin_. As also, _ye are dead: and he that\nis dead, is freed from sin_. And from hence it was, that there appeared\nthroughout his whole carriage, such fruit unto holiness. In him might\nbe seen, how great things God doth for his children, who simply follow\nhim, even in this world: no less than making them complete before him\nin love.\n\nMy first acquaintance with him, begun soon after the mercy of God had\nstirred me up, to seek his face. From a studious regard to the holy\nscriptures, it was soon given me to understand, what manner of person\na Christian approved of God must be: and thenceforward, I both read,\nconversed, and thought of little else. And in him I _saw_ clearly,\nwhat till then I had only _conceived_: in him my conceptions were truly\nexemplified. Much had been reported, both of the gifts and graces of Mr.\n_Walsh_; yet, I found in him, much more, than I had either conceived or\nheard. Nor did the long intimacy with him, with which I was afterwards\nprivileged, alter, in the least my sentiments.\n\nIt might perhaps be thought tedious, minutely to describe all the\nparticular graces, which adorned his life. And indeed to conceive of\nthe excellencies which appeared in him, they need not be attended to,\none by one; for neither so, could they be fully comprehended. But he\n_walked before_ God, in such a manner, as abundantly included them all.\nHe was a person of a surprizing greatness of soul, for which the whole\ncircumference of created good, was far, far too little: he found in God.\n\n \u201cThat something still, which prompts th\u2019 eternal sigh,\n For which we bear to live, nor fear to die.\u201d\n\nThe love of Jesus, filled up in his soul, that mighty void, this whole\ncreation leaves in human hearts.\n\nHis exactness in all those particulars, which comprize men\u2019s duty to\nGod, their neighbour and themselves, was such, and so well known, that\nit would be easy to swell this chapter, by enlarging on each of them,\nto an enormous size. But passing over the greater part of them, I shall\nonly point out a few particulars, relating chiefly to his internal\nstate, which were within my own notice: referring the reader, for\na larger, and more satisfactory picture of him, to the following\ncollection from his diary: in which are represented, those secret\ntransactions of God upon his soul, to which himself alone could be\nprivy.\n\nThe particulars I premise are,\n\n\n I. _His Prayer._\n\nFrom the earliest dawn of the grace of God in his soul, he was\nsingularly remarkable for constancy and importunity in prayer. He was\nearly a wrestler with God, and prevailed to the obtaining that eminency\nin the knowledge of God, for which he was apprehended in Christ, and\nwhich is here related in part. The more he got acquainted with divine\nthings, the more did he increase in this soul-enriching exercise. \u201cHe\nthat has never prayed, can never _conceive_; and he that has prayed, as\nhe ought, can never _forget_, how much is to be gained by prayer.\u201d\n\nBeside the daily, and often public pouring out of his soul, in general\nintercession, and occasional addresses to God, in behalf of needy souls\n(groaning under the guilt of sin, or body of corruption, or whatever\nwas the cause) who often came to him for that purpose; he had his own\nstated times for approaching God in secret; in which it was far from\nsufficing, barely to present himself, and wait, whether in silence, or\nin discourse before the Lord. He accounted the work still to do, unless\nhe felt his spirit affected with sentiments suitable to his condition;\nwhether of holy mourning, self reprehension, recovery, or increase\nof peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, or some establishment in faith,\nmeekness, patience, hope, or love.\n\n_Praying with all prayer_, seemed the business of his life; for the\ndoing of which, he waited neither for postures, times, or places. An\nheart so disposed, rendered holy to him, every thing of this kind,\nwhich may be said of places.\n\n*Prostrate upon his face, kneeling, standing, walking, eating; in\nevery posture, and in every place and condition, he was a man mighty\nin prayer. In sleep itself, to my certain knowledge, his soul went on\n(_Canticles v.\u00a02._) in groans, and sighs, and tears to God. His heart\nhaving attained such a habit of tendency to its Lord, could then only\ngive over, when it ceased to beat.\n\nThe enjoyments of the divine sweetness, which God imparted to him in\nsecret, and the nearness of access to the divine Majesty, with which he\nwas favoured, were indeed amazing. He has been sometimes, as it were,\nlost in glorious absence, on his knees, with his face heavenward, and\narms clasped round his breast: in such composure, that scarce could one\nhear him so much as breathe.\n\nHis soul seemed absorbed in God, and enjoyed a calmness and transport,\nwhich can here, be well enough reconciled. From the serenity, and\nsomething resembling splendor, which appeared on his countenance, and\nin all his gestures afterwards, one might easily discover, what he had\nbeen about.\n\n*It was especially towards the conclusion of his Lord\u2019s work, that\nhe was favoured with such near fellowship with him. He approached\nthe throne of grace with much of the reverential boldness of faith,\n_believing_, that whatever he asked, he should have the petitions he\nasked for; the holy Spirit making intercession in his heart, according\nto the will of God. And to such a degree of confidence in him, did\nhe arrive by this means, that in the greatest straits of his life\n(and he met with some things which came home to him, with the deepest\nsensibility) he was more than kept up; so that he seemed to fear\nnothing, even where, to all human apprehension, every thing was to\nbe feared. He so abandoned himself to God, in the discharge of his\nduty, that his very friends were sometimes ready to charge him with\nbeing a little rash or imprudent. Altho\u2019 he endeavoured to use his\nunderstanding as far as ever it would go; yet acting in view of _those\nthings which are not seen_, and from motives referring to eternity, he\nwas not, it is true, so attentive to the decorums among men, as mere\nhuman prudence would have dictated. And in reality it is a truth, which\nis learned from a series of experience, and confirmed by numberless\nexamples, that whoever would do much for God, should take care of being\n(in a sense) too wise. There is reason to think, that if the apostles\nthemselves had consulted the directions of bare human reason, they\nnever had undertook the conversion of the world.\n\nAn habitual spirit of mortification served as wings to his prayer. And\nperhaps the want of this, is, much more than is commonly thought, a\ngrand cause of that indisposedness to, and weariness in prayer, which\nis so generally complained of among Christians; many of whom are often\neven glad of a pretended occasion to avoid the duty. \u201cSomething is\namiss in us, and it wanted a name, till the Spirit of God, by enjoining\nus the duty of mortification, hath taught us to know, that want of\nmortification of spirit, is the case of all, at least of many of our\nsecret and spiritual indispositions. The excellencies of heaven cannot\nbe discerned but by a spirit disrelishing the low appetites of the\nworld. Unless our spirit be mortified, we neither love to pray, nor\ndoes God love to hear us.\u201d We find all the way thro\u2019 our _heavenly_\njourney, that to be _carnally minded_, in the least degree, is a\nproportionable degree of death. And that a mind truly spiritual alone,\nhas true life and peace.\n\nIt is hard to say positively which he was most remarkable for, the\n_spirit_ or the _gift_ of prayer, tho\u2019 it need not be told which he\nmost esteemed. His public character, made it right and necessary for\nhim, to desire and endeavour after _spiritual gifts_. And the eminency\nto which he arrived therein in general, is too well known to need a\nparticular relation. To hear him, on some occasions pour out his soul\nto God, made one often think, whence hath a man these things? Such\na sluice of divine oratory ran thro\u2019 the whole of his language on\nreligious subjects, as is rarely to be met with. His public addresses\nto God, were commonly well nigh altogether, in the words of the Holy\nGhost. *It seemed as tho\u2019 he turned the whole bible into words of\nadoration, confession, petition, supplication, thanksgiving and glory:\nwhile at the same time his expressions glowed with the love of God:\nand all this with such ardour, intention, pertinency and faith, that\nit has seemed sometimes (one time in particular was peculiarly noticed)\nas tho\u2019 the heavens were burst open, and God himself appeared in the\ncongregation. Something of that _Acts iv.\u00a031._ was often conceived\nwhile he prayed. But he made no account of this with regard to the\nperfection of his own soul. He made it his chief aim to follow after\nlove, and to live in a momentary spirit of watchful prayer.\n\n*He has sometimes had very remarkable answers to prayer. One only I\nshall mention. A number of religious societies both in _England_ and\n_Ireland_ appointed a public fast, for the imploring God, to restore to\nhealth an eminent servant of the church, who had been some time under\nlanguishment of body. Mr. _Walsh_ was then in _Dublin_, and pouring\nout his soul about noon, he spoke aloud, in a manner which shewed it\nnot to be of himself, and said _he shall not die, but live, and declare\nthe works of the_ Lord. And, blessed be God, the event shewed the\nprediction to be of God.\n\nTowards the latter part of his progress, and before his last sickness\nin particular, his prayer had less of labour in it than formerly; and\nconsisted for the most part, of a passive receiving the impressions\nof the divine Spirit: God acting rather in him, than he acted himself.\nAnd so still, and recollected did he frequently appear herein, that it\nwas as if God was visibly before him, and that he spoke to the divine\nMajesty, with nearness of access, and child-like familiarity. Indeed\nevery object and occurrence, spoke to him of God: nor could there be\nwanting to him, at any time or place, incentives to raise his heart in\nprayer or praise to him whom his soul loved.\n\nOne particular which he learned in the course of his experience, was,\nthat altho\u2019 the lights which are received from God in the way of prayer,\nare, of all others, to be most faithfully attended to; yet nevertheless,\none ought not to _act_ upon every _appearance_ of this kind; that the\nenemy of man\u2019s salvation can, and often does, mimick the Spirit of\nGod; and as an _angel of light_, imposes upon the servants of God, by\nrepresenting as from him, that which is often no other than _Satan_\u2019s\nillusions, or our own imagination: on account of which, some persons\nhave in most ages, been led into grievous mistakes, and improprieties\nof conduct. He perceived danger with regard to himself from this\nquarter, and was therefore very sparing in mentioning much of what\nhe often felt. He weighed every thing by the word of God, avoided\nprecipitancy of conduct, and making haste; and at the same time,\nlaboured continually to abandon himself, as it were blindfold to the\nteaching of the Spirit of truth, and of purity.\n\n\n II. _Redeeming the time._\n\nIn order to do this effectually, his manner was to draw up a plan in\nwriting (till use made it familiar to him) of the manner, in which\nhe judged it most profitable to spend the day. He distributed it into\ncertain portions, and assigned to each its particular employment:\nallowing only for occasional interruptions in the business of his\nprofession. Reading the scriptures, prayer, and visiting the sick, had\nthe grand places in this division. He could never find any leisure for\nmere, ceremonious visits, or unnecessary conversation of any kind. Even\nat meals, and indeed in every little incidental matter he ceased not to\npursue his main end of living: namely, to get, and to do good in his\ngeneration.\n\n*It was really surprizing, to see his thriftiness in this particular.\nHe even deprived himself of such indulgences as nature required, in\norder to her performing the offices he imposed upon her: such, for\nexample, as abstaining from all study immediately after meals: when,\nnotwithstanding he eat exceeding sparingly, more relaxation would have\nbeen better for his health: likewise, a sufficient quantity of proper\nexercise; but most of all, a sufficiency of _sleep_.\n\nHe was often up late at study, and his general time of rising was\nfour o\u2019clock, or a little after, sometimes between three and four.\nHe was often urged to take more rest. I remember once to have heard\na gentlewoman, compassionating the wasting, dying condition of his\nbody, saying, \u201cSure Mr. _Walsh_, you may at least, lie longer in bed\non Sunday morning, when the preaching is not so early.\u201d To which he\nreplied with his usual zeal and abrupt plainness, \u2018Should a man rob\nGod?\u2019 He was commonly up earliest on the Lord\u2019s-day, for which he had\nthe highest veneration. He has sometimes said, he thought there was\nsomething peculiarly sacred in the very air, and the whole structure\nof nature on this day.\n\n*During the long intimacy I had with him, I do not remember to have\nknown him spend a minute in discourses about national occurrences,\npolitics, or worldly diversions. He knew that these were not _his_\naffairs, and that his business was _One_. And the same may be said of\nwhat is called free and pleasant conversation. So provident was he of\ntime, and so bent upon the pursuit of that \u201cimmense revenue which each\n_moment_ pays,\u201d that in whatsoever company he was, unless something\nrelative to the _one_ thing needful was discoursed of, he either took\nout a book (impolite as it may seem) or continued in profound silence,\nsave when he answered a question. And if at any time any thing vain,\nor tending to levity was spoken, so as to occasion the least appearance\nof approbation in his looks or gesture, he severely reprehended himself\nfor it afterwards, and prayed for strength for the time to come.\n\nAnd yet notwithstanding all his caution, care, and diligence, he\nfrequently lamented his not improving the time better, \u2018I do not use\nevery moment to the best purposes,\u2019 was a frequent reflection with him\nagainst himself.\n\n\n III. _Disengagement from the world._\n\nAlthough what has been said of him already, implies his just contempt\nof every earthly thing; yet his eminency therein, deserves to be taken\nsome farther notice of. His indifferency to this world was such, as\neven bordered upon abhorrency; and the rather, as he could not but\nobserve, what a gulph to souls it is; and how many are lost for ever\nthrough their undue attachment to it. He kept at the utmost distance\nfrom what worldly men most ardently court, and earnestly sought what\nthey most abhor.\n\nThe vain things; riches, honours, and pleasures of this world, were too\npoor, for so generous a heart: he shewed the greatness of his soul, by\ndespising all that was beneath it. He had the most generous contempt\nof money; esteeming it (unless to bestow on the poor, or procure a book\nsometimes) as the pebbles in the street.\n\nHe had a full reliance on the providence of God, and found a happiness\ntherein, which infinitely surpassed all the enjoyments and treasures of\nthe universe.\n\n\n IV. _Recollection of spirit, and government of his thoughts._\n\n*His carriage, aspect, words, and the whole of his behaviour, spoke\nthe solemnity and profound recollection of his soul. Nor can a\nstranger better conceive of him, in regard to this particular, than by\nforming to himself, an idea of a person returned from the happy dead,\nconversing with men. And it was nearly in this manner that some have\nexpressed their surprize at him. A gentleman said to me one day, \u201cI\nmet Mr. _Walsh_ in the street, and I declare he seemed to me like a\nperson returned from the other world.\u201d So emaciated a countenance, such\nfixedness of thought, and serenity of deportment, as appeared in him,\ntowards the conclusion of his race especially, were surprising in so\nyoung a man; and discovered a something, very different from the busy\nways of men. One needed only to look on him to perceive that there was\nsomething in him more than common. And if as the son of _Sirach_ says,\n\u201cA man may be known by his look, and one that has understanding may\nbe perceived by the marking of his countenance,\u201d they must be indeed,\nsuperficial observers, that could not discern in his very aspect\nthe excellencies that dwelt within him. An air of wisdom and piety\nappeared in him continually. There seemed to be something peculiarly\ndistinguishing in the very features of his countenance. Some have taken\nhim to be little less than forty years of age, at the time he was but\nabout five and twenty.\n\n*His uniform composure was the rather to be noticed, as his life\nwas not of the recluse, but of the popular kind. He had to do with\nmultitudes; and, unless on special occasions, was seldom above six\nhours together out of company. It is true he seldom appeared in publick,\nunless to speak of the things of eternity, in some respect or other.\nBut he was so shut in with God, that all places became alike to him;\nand he retained the same attention to God in the most thronged streets\nof _London_, as he could have had in the most sequestered wilderness.\nCurious sights, elegant furniture in shops or houses, magnificent\nbuildings, fine shews, the ringing of bells, firing of guns, with every\nthing of this kind; were no more to him than the chirping of a sparrow,\nor the buzzing of a fly.\n\n*To all which, the constant government which he had over his senses,\ngreatly contributed. The difference of tastes, harmony of sounds, and\nwhatever his eyes could behold, were as nothing to him. He was in this\nrespect truly crucified to the world, and the world to him. Even in\ntravelling through the most pleasant parts of the country, and in the\npleasantest seasons, when the stupendous beauties of the creation, the\nspacious firmament, the verdure of the country, (nature\u2019s loveliest\nuniversal robe;) the music of the groves, and all the joint beauties of\nnature, might have furnished him with delightful contemplation; yet he\nseemed insensible to the whole, enjoying a\n\n \u201cParadise within him happier far!\u201d\n\n*When he at any time adverted to the works of God in the creation, he\nwas delighted chiefly with the heavens, paved as it were, with those\nliving fires, the spangled stars. But the use which he made of every\nthing, was to get more acquainted with God, and so\n\n \u2015\u2015\u2015by this stupendous scaffolding\n Creation\u2019s golden steps to climb to him!\n\nHe was in truth loosed from earth\u2019s inclosure, and from the contracted\ncircle of the sun, his heart was set at large. Christ, and the\nscriptures, with things pertaining to them, were the only and uniform\nobjects of his attention, and every thing, place or person, which did\nnot serve to promote, in some degree, his knowledge and love of these,\nhad with him the estimate of trivial and insignificant.\n\n*And hence it was, that the _presence_ of God became so exceeding\nfamiliar to him. He could not be content a moment without it. And\nhereby was he fitted likewise, for more glorious, and more frequent\ndivine communications; of which he had not a few, in the course of\nhis progress. Several times has he been quite lost to himself, and\ninsensible of every thing about him, being left in the visions of\nGod. Two instances in particular are related in his diary, in which\nhe seemed as though he was out of the body for sometime. One day I\nremember going to visit a person who was ill, as soon he got to the\nstair case, being in his usual composure, \u201cDid you see that light?\u201d\nsaid he, with a sudden low voice. To which I answered partly with a\nsigh, having seen nothing. He said no more. But it was easy to discern\nin him the rest of that day and night, a very peculiar solemnity of\nsoul.\n\nIn places of publick worship, he hardly ever saw any body, so as to\ndistinguish them; and in every means of grace, his grand aim was, to\nfind more of God _within_ him. He waited for this in lively earnest\ncomposure; and thus approaching the Lord\u2019s table in particular, he\n_ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Son of_ God indeed. \u201cMy heart\nburned! Was in a flame! O what a fire of divine love was there!\u201d were\nthe frequent memorials which he left in his diary, after communicating\nthose heavenly sweets, which often overflowed his soul at the altar,\nand spread their inundation over every other part of his holy living.\nHis recollection carried itself into the midst of all his labours,\nin which he was still preserved, without dissipation, notwithstanding\ntheir multiplicity, and sometimes intricate nature. It was very usual\nwith him to express what he felt of God, by the simile of _fire_, to\nwhich the operations of the _Holy Ghost_ are frequently compared in\nscripture. He often felt in prayer, in preaching, and walking, a kind\nof scorching within him, from the love of God. And from the abundance\nof the heart, his mouth generally spoke. Words of life, and fire issued\nas it were out of his lips, which were no other than the sparks of\na burning heart. And often he could hardly refrain from expressing\nthe holy raptures of his soul out aloud; as, _O holy_ God! _Glorious_\nJehovah! _Blessed_ Jesus! _Son of the living_ God! He used frequently\nto stand up and sing,\n\n O love, how chearing is thy ray!\n All pain before thy presence flies!\n Care, anguish, sorrow melt away,\n Where\u2019er thy healing beams arise;\n O Jesu, nothing may I see,\n Nothing hear, feel, or think but thee!\n\n Give to my eyes refreshing tears,\n Give to my heart chase hallow\u2019d fires,\n Give to my soul with filial fears,\n The love that all heaven\u2019s host inspires:\n That all my powers with all their might\n In thy sole glory may unite!\n\nThere was at first an eagerness in his spirit for the success of his\nlabours, but he in time became unanxious on the head, being taught\nof God, that having done his part, he should think no more about the\nmatter, but still go on straight forward, keeping himself in repose\nwith God: in imitation of the angels, who continually watch over\nthe souls, which God hath given them in charge; but who lose nothing\nof their tranquility or happiness, even when their utmost care is\nunsuccessful.\n\nAnd from hence partly, arose that extreme tenderness of conscience,\nwhich was so remarkable in him, and which gave him a constant holy\njealousy over himself in every thing he did; so that not a word, motion,\nor a look, could escape him, unexamined or uncensured, if it deserved\nit; hence likewise it was, that he had so very peculiar a regard to\nall his words; speaking either to the purpose, that is, when occasion\nrequired him to speak, or not at all. And yet notwithstanding his\nutmost circumspection, he was deeply conscious, how far short he still\ncame of that rectitude, and entire renovation becoming a person in\nfellowship with the God of unspotted holiness.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER \u2666XII.\n\n \u2666 \u201cV.\u201d replaced with \u201cXII.\u201d\n\n _Some particulars relating to the head of his communion\n with_ God.\n\n\n V.\n\nHIS great rule was to imitate our Lord Jesus Christ, in the most\nperfect manner he could. The whole tenor of his conduct plainly\ndiscovered, that he sought nothing but God. There was in the chastity\nof his manners, a purity next to angelical; and a circumspection in\nhis every step, which declared, that to him _to live was_ Christ. He\nkept at the utmost distance from sensual indulgences of every kind.\nHis senses were kept under the closest custody, and he examined his\nconscience almost continually. Nor could it be observed at any time,\nthat he acted otherwise than within the rules of the utmost decency.\n\n\n VI.\n\n*He was a man of tears, and sighs, and groans. He wanted not indeed\nthe joy of a good conscience; and knowing continually in whom he\nbelieved, he enjoyed the benefits resulting therefrom, and yet\nthis notwithstanding, the whole of his Christian pilgrimage, was\ninterspersed with much weeping. He seldom had a dry handkerchief\na whole day together; his eyes being for the most part, in private\nespecially, as opened fountains; and which did not cease to flow in\nthe night season. How often have I known him water his pillow with\nthose briny rivers! Sometimes lamenting his two great estrangement from\nhis beloved; sometimes mourning for the mourners; but oftener than all,\nhe was sick of love! Love to the Crucified!\n\nTo some indeed, there seemed in him something, at least bordering\nupon, an unyielding austerity of spirit: and so much is true, that\nwith regard to men, and evil angels, he was undaunted, and courageous,\nas a lion, in the cause of God, and of a good conscience: yet, in\nother respects, he was a man of the keenest sensibility, and tenderest\naffections. He was in the presence of his invisible observer, pliant as\nmelted wax, and cloathed with dove-like meekness. He was often, as it\nwere, deluged in tears, prostrate before the footstool of his Lord\u2019s\nmajesty, and overwhelmed with a sense of his glory.\n\n\n VII.\n\nHe was without affectation, a man of humility; not indeed so as\nto disown, or not to make use of the gifts and graces, with which\nGod had endowed him: this would have been to lie against the truth;\nbut notwithstanding all that he had, yet taking knowledge whence it\ncame, he esteemed himself as nothing; but was truly diffident of,\nand heartily despised himself. And the only use which he made of the\nsuperior qualifications which God bestowed upon him, was to consider\nhimself as obliged thereby, to devote himself more abundantly to the\nservice of God, and of his neighbour. The praises of others served only\nto abase him, at the sight of his own nothingness. \u2018Lord, I am vile!\na worm! O deliver me from this evil man myself! Thou only art worthy,\u2019\nwere the frequent expressions of his lips and pen. If any person,\nat any time, gave him but the smallest hint, by way of reproof, he\nreceived it either with silence, or thankfulness, according to the\nmanner and occasion thereof. And supposing it to be a matter in which\nhe was really without blame, yet the reproof was not lost upon him.\nHe thereby took occasion, to enter more deeply into himself, making\nthe strictest scrutiny into the whole of his tempers and behaviour.\nHe often said to God on these occasions, \u2018Lord, though thou knowest\nI am clear in this matter, yet, alas! How many things are there for\nwhich I stand reproved before thee! My God, I adore thee in this, which\nthou hast permitted.\u2019 He often repeated as a lesson of instruction to\nhimself, those words of _Kempis_, \u201cThou dust, learn to obey. Thou earth\nand clay, learn to demean thyself. Thou oughtest to be such a little\nchild, that every body might trample thee under their feet in the\nstreets.\u201d\n\n\n VIII.\n\nThere was the utmost steadiness in the whole of his religious conduct.\nThe course of the sun, and the seasons, is not more regular, than were\nhis successive exercises of prayer, meditation, preaching, and study;\nso that from knowing how he spent one day, may be gathered, his manner\nof spending whole months, or years; allowing only for the difference of\ncircumstances and occasions. Thus it was in things pertaining to God,\nand his service; though at the same time, his attention to himself, his\nease and conveniencies, was such, that some have accounted it not less\nthan blame-worthy negligence: so truly did he live, not to himself, or\nthe will of man, but to God.\n\n\n IX.\n\nThe _love of God_ was the fountain, whence issued forth those fruitful\nstreams, which rendered his soul flourishing as the garden of the Lord,\nand extended their salutary influence all around, wherever he came. It\nwas to this he reduced every thing. All his works were done in love,\nand therefore wrought in God. It was a debt he was ever paying, and\nfrom which he was never to be discharged.\n\n\u2018My God, let me love thee! Jesus, Son of the living God, thou knowest\nthat I love thee! O love divine, what hast thou done! O that all\nthe world did but know thee! How would they then love thee, thou\n_altogether lovely_!\u2019 To this effect he often breathed out the warm\nemotions of his heart: so deeply was he penetrated with the love of\nGod his Saviour. He was always exceedingly pleased with, and frequently\nrepeated those lines,\n\n \u201cEternity too short to speak thy praise!\n Or fathom thy profound of love to man!\u201d\n\nAnd again, without regarding their connexion; but overwhelmed with the\nthought of the dying love of Jesus, he would utter sometimes abruptly,\nand with astonishment,\n\n \u201cSensations _new_ in angel bosoms rise\n Suspend their song; and make a pause in bliss.\u201d\n\n*Lastly, _By faith I stand!_ was his concluding point, after all that\nGod had done for him. And it was not unusual with him to say, on the\nclosest examination of all he was, and all he did, \u201cIf Christ forsook\nme but for a moment, I should fall and perish after all.\u201d Yes, it\nwas from _his fullness_ he received all his good things, and with the\ndependent helplessness of an infant, he had recourse to him continually,\nfor light, and strength, and love: for every thing in short, which\nhe wanted. He could be happy only in conversation with him; delighted\npeculiarly in those parts of scripture which describe and endear him;\nand from the fulness of his whole soul, repeated often, _God forbid\nthat I should glory, save in the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ. To him\nthat hath loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to\nhim be the glory, both now and to eternity!_\n\n*To sum up this head. He thought _prayer_ to be more his business\nthan any thing else in this world; and from the desire which he had\nto redeem the time, he employed great part of the night, as well as\nthe day, in prayer, meditation, study, and labouring for the good of\nhis neighbour. He was profoundly serious, and always recollected at\nhome and abroad. He watched over every motion of his soul, keeping\nhis thoughts in subjection to Christ continually. He proposed to\nhimself _the man Christ Jesus_, as his great model and rule in every\nthing; imitating him especially, in the purity of his body, and in the\nchastity of his affections. Walking in deep humility before God, he was\npatient of reproof, nor ever retorted any thing, with heat or prejudice.\nThere was a steadiness in his proceedings for God, and in reference\nto eternity, which not all the powers of earth and hell were able to\ninterrupt. He ate but little, wept much, loved more, received all by\nfaith; and rarely opened his mouth, but about heavenly things.\n\n\n\n\n PART III.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER I.\n\n _An extract from Mr. |Thomas Walsh|\u2019s diary, relating chiefly,\n to the experience of his own soul, in his course of\n |walking with God|._\n\n\nCONCERNING the extract which here follows, it may be premised,\n1.\u00a0That although there was the utmost uniformity in the whole series\nof his progress; nevertheless, few persons were so sensible of various\nalterations in spirit, with respect to the sensations of joy and sorrow;\ndelight in God, and complainings for the want of it: owing in great\nmeasure to a singular tenderness of conscience; and the close attention\nwhich he had to all the movements of his _inward man_; so that things\nwhich some overlook, or entirely disregard, were esteemed by him, with\nregard to himself at least, as capital defections, from the law of\nperfect liberty and love.\n\nHis diary consists of the feeling of his own heart, through every\npart of his Christian race, with scarce a single hour omitted. He\nalways wrote down reflections upon himself, as either the pressure,\nor felicity of his soul at that time suggested; adding any spiritual\nobservation, or maxim, which his own experience confirmed to him.\n\n2. It will be easily discerned, that the peculiarity of his writing,\nis a certain sententious abruptness; owing in part to the genius of the\n_Hebrew_ tongue, in which his latter studies wholly terminated. Though\nwhat most contributed thereto, was the rapid flow of his soul, on the\nsubjects of which he either spoke or wrote, which raised him above\nattending to that accuracy, which writings, at least of a public nature\nrequire. In many places there is therefore a manifest deficiency, both\nas to words, particles and stops; in short, like the writings of the\nantients, without period or paragraph, in most places: so that liberty\nhas been necessarily taken to add, retrench, or alter, sometimes a word,\nor sentence, to render the sense intelligible; though still retaining\nhis sense entire.\n\n3. The inserting the precise date of every day\u2019s experience, is judged\nunnecessary. Moreover the experience of several days, sometimes distant\nfrom each other, (tho\u2019 rarely above a week) are thrown into the same\nparagraph, for the sake of brevity. The series of particulars, as to\nthe order of time, is related as they occurred; and every paragraph\nbegins with the experience of a distant day.\n\nThe reader being advertised of these particulars, we proceed to the\nextract itself.\n\n\u201cAt the close of this last day of the year, (1750, the year in which\nhe began to preach) I examined myself how I had lived the past year?\nAnd could only say, I had not wickedly departed from my God; but was\nheartily ashamed that I had not glorified him better; resolving to\nwatch for the time to come.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI prayed to God for quietness, and humility of mind; and found\nassistance against \u2018this evil man, myself.\u2019 O for a heart constantly\nfixed on God! I was reproved this day in spirit for an idle word.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe Lord was with me all this day. I desire to be with the Lord\ncontinually, that my communion may be stronger with Jesus than ever.\nO, it is heaven upon earth to have Christ in ones heart. It is the\nbeginning of the glory of God, to receive the lovely Jesus; and with\nhim, the joy of the _Holy Ghost_. O that I had the tongue of an angel\nto praise my Lord! Hasten Lord the glad hour when I shall see thee as\nthou art!\u201d\n\n\u201cI preached this morning on the great and precious promises, Ezekiel\nxxxvi. My soul aspired to have them accomplished; for I feel the evil\nof my nature, and especially the evil heart of unbelief that is within\nme.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, February 22._ I preached this morning on _Song of Solomon\nii.\u00a08._ but was both dark and weak, having scarcely any power to\nexplain any thing. O what a grief it is for one to preach, when he is\nleft to himself, when the Lord is not his present strength and teacher!\nTo preach consolation to others, and feel none himself! This exposes\none to great temptation.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday 23._ My soul enjoyed sweet repose in the blood of the\nLamb, while my heart was engaged in meditation on his dying love. O,\nwhere can we find an instance of such love, as that of God to men on\n_Calvary_! When the innocent died for a guilty world, to bring them to\nGod!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Wednesday 27._ I was not alive to God to-day. Unnecessary talk\nbrought deadness upon my soul.\u201d\n\n\u201cGreat part of this day I lived as in heaven. Heaven was within me.\nGod was in my soul. The influences of his Spirit wrought so powerfully\nupon me, that my joy was beyond expression. O the length and breadth,\nand height, of the love of God! Well may it be said to pass knowledge.\nThe spiritual man may discern it, but cannot set it forth in the manner\nhe feels it. Those words of Isaiah lxi.\u00a010. lifted up my soul, as in a\nfiery chariot, above the fabric of this world. _I will greatly rejoice\nin the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God, for he hath cloathed\nme with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe\nof righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ointments, and\nas a bride adorneth herself with her jewels._ I could say, that the\nLord had so done for my soul. O what enemies are the children of men\nto their own souls? They deprive themselves of happiness here, and of\neternal glory hereafter; imagining that earthly enjoyments are above\nwhat religion can afford. But alas! it is because they know not this\nreligion which brings such happiness to the soul.\u201d\n\n*\u201cO how sweet was Jesus to my soul. The _rose_ for sweetness; the\n_lilly_ for whiteness; the _apple-tree_ for fruitfulness; what are they\nall to thee! Entering into my closet, the moment I bowed my knee, the\nLord poured down a blessing into my soul. O what a heaven upon earth\ndid I experience for some moments! Tongue cannot express the goodness\nof God to my soul. O where shall I find words to praise? How am I lost\nin the ocean, of the immensity of thy mercy! Lord, I know not how to\ngive thee thanks. Where to begin, I cannot tell. O my soul, fall into\nsilent amazement! Let all I have, or am, drop into nothing!\u201d\n\n\u201c_March, Friday 8._ This was a day of much temptation; but God, for my\nsupport and confirmation, was pleased to give me fresh manifestations\nof his love.\u201d\n\n\u201cReading and prayer to day, were of little comfort to me. If it were\nnot that I find the abiding witness of the Spirit in my soul, my\nbondage would be very great. It is the goodness of God which preserves\nme in the faith. The enemies of my salvation are thrusting sore at me\nfrom day to day. Defend, and keep me, O my God, for Jesu\u2019s sake.\u201d\n\n\u201cIn prayer, I saw the great difficulty of being a Christian in reality.\nThere are many who _eat their own bread, and wear their own apparel_,\nand are willing to _be called by_ the name of Jesus, to take away\ntheir reproach\u2015\u2015The abomination of being called Heathens. But they love\nnotwithstanding, the ways of death, and darkness, rather than light;\nand do what Heathens would not do. The ninety-first psalm was made a\ngreat blessing to me, the ninth verse especially.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis morning the Lord gave me language that I knew not of, raising\nmy soul to him, in a wonderful manner. After preaching however in the\nevening, at my return to my room, I felt little life in my soul, but\na Spirit of slothfulness. O what a poor creature! How incapable of\nthinking a good thought, or doing a truly good action! Sinful dust and\nashes.\u201d\n\n_Friday 22._ In the morning I had an earnest desire to be dissolved,\nand to be with Christ. I wanted to see Jesus, who bore and suffered so\nmuch for _me_.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe 25th, my soul was very dull. I had a desire to pray, but could not,\nthrough the deadness of my heart, and wandering of my thoughts. This is\na thing I have to complain of in general; namely, wandering in prayer,\nwant of earnestness and fervour.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe 29th, I cannot say, that till three o\u2019clock I had true communion\nwith God. But then, the Lord clearly manifested himself to me.\u201d\n\n\u201c_1751. April 6._ I had not much of the presence of God, nor of the\ncomfort of the Holy Ghost, yet my heart and my flesh cry out for the\nliving God!\u201d\n\n\u201cO what an aversion I had this morning to study, and following _the\nLamb_! If it were not for promises which the gospel affords, I should\nbe often brought into bondage: very often is my soul cast down and my\nspirit disquieted within me; so that I must needs utterly faint, if\nit was not that I firmly hope I shall yet praise God for the health of\nhis countenance. I felt neither comfort nor power in preaching. O what\na poor creature am I when left to myself! How dark of conception; how\nslow of heart and speech! It sometimes happens, that while I am thus\nwriting down my condition, the Lord appears to my help: so it is _now_;\nfor God has been pleased to manifest himself unto me! And O what a\nwelcome guest! At his coming my reins and my heart rejoice; my troubles\nare done away; my soul is greatly refreshed; my faith strengthened; my\nhope confirmed, and my love encreased. Glory be to God most high!\u201d\n\n\u201cGod and his ways were sweet to my soul this morning. Great was the\npeace of my mind, and the joy which arose from considering what the\nLord had done for my soul. O how did I long to be altogether like him,\n_in righteousness and true holiness_! Throughout the day, I enjoyed\nsweet repose in the blood of _the Lamb_. In the evening I preached on\n_1\u00a0Corinthians i.\u00a030._ And God did indeed pour of his gracious spirit\ninto my soul. Truly we had a heaven upon earth! O that I had the tongue\nof an angel to glorify thee for all thy benefits!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Thursday May 23._ I was in great trouble, going to preaching this\nmorning. My temptations were sore, and my trials exceeding great;\noccasioned partly, by the condition of some, who for a time _ran well_,\nbut are turned again to the flesh-pots of _Egypt_. While I preached\nhowever, on _Psalms xxiii.\u00a01._ my _Shepherd_ gave me to feed upon his\n_hidden manna_.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI found it hard work to be wholly set apart for God this day. I\npreached comfort to others, but could lay hold on little of it myself.\u201d\n\n\u201cI am often like a day in spring; the sun shining bright for a little\nwhile, and soon withdrawing again. _The sun of righteousness_ often\nshines upon me, with his bright beams; but alas! the light is soon\nclouded, and the joy vanishes away. Yet still, blessed be God, my heart\nstands fast believing in the Lord. For I take it for granted, that the\nwant of strong light and joy, no more argues want of faith, than the\nabsence of unclouded day, argues no sun in the firmament.\u201d\n\n\u201cAn unusual fondness for company, brought deadness upon my soul. The\nvanities of the world importunately intruded upon me. If God were\nnot on my side, I should have been long ago _as Sodom_, and _like\nunto Gomorrah_. Such vanities crouded in upon me at prayer, that even\nI forgot what I was saying. I am a man sorely distressed with the\nwandering of my heart. I arose from prayer and read, and prayed again.\nThe Lord at length met me, and instantly released me from my sorrow,\nand gave me power to wait upon him without distraction.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday June 12._ Great was the comfort which I had in God. I had\nthe full assurance of faith, that God was _my_ God, and Christ _my_\nSaviour. O the happiness of knowing this!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Tuesday 28._ I was deeply convinced of my depravity. O my God, I see\nthe impurity of my heart in such a manner as frightens me. I know that\nChrist can have no communion with _Belial_; neither _righteousness_\nwith _unrighteousness_. Lord break not the _bruised reed_, nor quench\nthe _smoaking flax_. Rather send down thy Holy Spirit, and set me free\nfrom the power of indwelling sin. Consume it O God. Cast out the spirit\nof uncleanness for Christ\u2019s sake.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis afternoon I walked in the fields, and had a sweet meeting with my\nLord. He gave me his love.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday_ morning. I was so stupid, that I could scarcely pray.\nWandring thoughts crouded in upon me. O for an heart to pray. I find in\ngeneral, that under the most afflictive trials, when I can in fervent\nprayer pour out my soul before the Lord, he gives me instant relief.\nBut when I cannot pray, O then is my life burthensome to me; I cannot\nbear myself.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe word this morning, was sweet to the souls of the people. They\nseemed to drink of the fountain of the water of life. I had a glorious\nmanifestation of the love of God to my soul. My delight surely is in\nthe Lord, and his Son Jesus Christ. Thou art my God, my love, my joy,\nmy help, my health, and my all in all! Blessed be thy name, _Amen_.\u201d\n\n\u201cToo much given to talk; had not the usual longing after prayer and\nmeditation. Yet the Lord helps mine infirmity.\u201d\n\n\u201cI had great joy in my soul, and longing desires to be with Christ. O\nthat even now, I could behold his lovely face, and amiable countenance!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, July 9th._ I had a lively sense of the Lord\u2019s having blotted\nout my former transgressions; and that he had promised to give me _a\nclean heart_. I had great peace; my soul being filled with the love of\nGod.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday 10._ Exercised this morning by false accusations. My\nonly concern was, lest it should hinder the work of God. But in\nconsideration of his over-ruling power and providence, I rested\npatiently on his will. My Jesus was made perfect through sufferings.\nO that I may be enabled to follow my master, in the way of the cross!\u201d\n\nWalking in a garden this day, God made it an _Eden_ to my soul; pouring\nhis love into my heart. I partook of the water and the tree of life:\nand the hidden manna was rained from heaven into my soul!\n\n_Monday 19._ All the day, my soul thirsted for the living God.\nI was transported, and exceedingly rejoiced in reading some divine\nmeditations. O my God, What shall I say? Angels cannot praise thee\nworthily! What then shall I who am a worm of the earth do? O that I had\nwings like a dove? Lovely Jesus, when shall I see thy face, joining the\nrest of the redeemed, to celebrate the wonders of thy redeeming love!\nO that this were the moment! My soul shall ere long take its flight to\nthe mansions, which I firmly believe my Saviour is preparing for me. O\nmy God, my Saviour, my all!\n\n\u201c_Thursday 25._ I had but little light or power. The Lord humbled, and\nshewed me mine own weakness; but did not leave me to it. He shewed me\nclearly, that it was neither to my graces, humblings, desires, doings,\nor sufferings I must trust for happiness and salvation, but in Christ\n_alone_.\u201d\n\n\u201cAh, Lord, who is sufficient for these things! O let me die, that I\nmay see thee! Whither is my beloved gone? Return Lord, return. I am a\nfeeble and helpless creature. Yet rejoice not against me, O mine enemy;\nfor though I fall into temptations, heaviness, and trials, I shall rise\nagain. O proud _Philistines_, deceitful _Delilahs_, inbred sin, pride\nof heart, anger, and folly, who can remove you. Lord Jesus, thou canst,\nand thou alone.\u201d\n\n\u201cAt the sacrament, O how did my soul banquet in Jesus! What divine\nconsolation did I feel in God my Saviour.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Wednesday 23._ Tempted to laugh on my very knees, O Lord my God be my\nrock. Hide me in thy wounds, and deliver me from myself. O Jesus I cry\nout of the deeps, hear my prayer, and let my cry come up before thee!\u201d\n\n\u201cSure I am, that if my salvation depended on ought but the love of\n_God my Saviour_, I never should see the Lord. Alas I am all weakness,\nunbelief, disobedience, and darkness. My soul was weighed down with\ninbred sin. But I no sooner began to complain, and bewail myself before\nhim, than he poured his love upon me, and gave me sweet access to him.\u201d\n\n\u201c_1752. January 6._ I could hardly account to myself, how my thoughts\nhad been employed this day. O that they were every moment taken up in\nthe contemplation of thy wondrous love and compassion to me, and all\nthe fallen race; O for an humble, lowly, simple, pure, and perfect\nmind! What shall I say to thee, thou delight of my heart? How much\nfairer art thou than the sons of men!\u201d\n\n*\u201cWhen I look back upon my life I can see nothing that does not need\nto be washed with the blood of Christ. My best actions are imperfect I\nhave need to fly to my Saviour, that from him I might receive that robe,\nwhich is pure and compleat. My whole desire is to be devoted to thee!\u201d\n\n\u201cAshamed, to lift my eyes up to heaven. I fell down before the Lord\nmy maker; and I may well say that he waited to be gracious; for before\nI could utter many words his love filled my heart. I could then look\nup with confidence, and saw my Father God, smile upon me, and my dear\nRedeemer at his right hand full of grace and truth for _me_. O how\nsweetly did the ever blessed Trinity join to bless me! Help me to\npraise thee, O thou strength of _Israel_.\u201d\n\n\u201cGod was much with me in private. O what a heaven upon earth is it, to\ncommune with him in prayer, holy reading, and divine meditation. Jesus\nis a well of life. How blessed is it to hold intimacy with him! This is\n_paradise_ indeed.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday._ It was a glorious sabbath to my soul.\u201d\n\n\u201cPart of this day was the happiest I ever yet saw. I could freely\ndepart to be with him whom my soul loveth. Truly I seemed to antedate\nthe sweetness of the celestial felicity, which the glorified spirits\nenjoy above! My song was praises to my God.\u201d\n\n\u201cHad calm repose in God. A day of sore temptation. I was kept, but\nthro\u2019 momentary watching unto prayer. O what am I! How weak, how blind,\nhow poor! As to _strength_, a bruised reed; for _love_ and _zeal_,\nas the \u2666smoaking flax. But thou, O God, art strong, and in thee is my\nhope.\u201d\n\n \u2666 \u201csomaking\u201d replaced with \u201csmoaking\u201d\n\n\u201cIll in body, dark in mind, dead in affections, and sorely troubled\nwith temptations. Yet I was preserved from inclining to iniquity with\nmy heart.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday._ My soul agonized to enter into the rest of the people of\nGod. I saw him by faith, and the promises were strongly brought to my\nremembrance, especially, \u2018Ask what you will, and it shall be done unto\nyou.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201c_1753. March 7._ In the morning there was an open intercourse between\nGod and my soul, which for some hours remained undisturbed. About noon\nI felt sore war between nature and grace; so that I was brought low.\nNature would have me manage for myself, grace was for casting all my\ncare upon God. O thou author of every good gift, send me help from thy\nholy place to subdue the old man. Take away the perverseness of my own\nnatural will, and make me lowly and patient as thou my Lord art. Thou\nart the source of grace and of goodness. In thee, O Lamb of God, is all\nI want.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Thursday 8._ Poured out my soul before the Lord, who gave me to feel\nhearty contrition with earnest desires to be sanctified wholly. For\n\n \u201cO how wavering is my mind\n Tost about with every wind?\n O how quickly doth my heart\n From the living God depart.\u201d\n\n\u201cSon of God, set me free, and knit my soul to thyself!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday 10._ The Lord sweetly refreshed my spirit, I was strongly\nmoved to pour out my soul, for my enemies, and all that forget God.\nThere was a burning in my heart after all the life of God. Nothing\nappeared so desirable as holiness. O God take the whole capacity of\nmy soul, and possess it by thy spirit.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday 25._ I have had a proof to day of the vanity and uncertainty\nof human friendship. Some who loved and greatly esteemed me when I left\n_Dublin_, about ten weeks ago, will now, at my return, hardly speak to\nme. O that I may seek friendship and all good in God alone.\u201d\n\n*\u201cSome words I heard this morning pierced me to the very soul. Enter\nnot into judgment with thy servant, O Lord. I fly to Jesus, the _just\none_, to hide me in his wounds. He is my sanctuary, the ark, the\ncovenant, and the true altar. Come my life, my treasure, and my God,\nshine into this drooping heart. Have I not an interest in thy blood!\nAm I not a child of thine, O God? Hast thou not said unto me, _live_?\nO that thy powerful voice would now speak to my soul, and bless me, O\nmy Father!\u201d\n\n\u201cHow little do I know of God, or of myself? O what a mystery is man?\nHow difficult to find, and then to lose himself! Lord, I long to be\nsettled and fixed in thee! O how does this mortal body press down the\nsoul!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday April 21._ Strengthened in the hope of full redemption.\nJesus forsake me not, or I shall be of all men most miserable!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Wednesday May 4._ Woke with the presence of God. Jesus was amiable,\nand altogether lovely to my soul. My heart was carried out in praise to\nhim for redeeming me, and making me his own for ever, by the washing of\nregeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI earnestly longed after inward holiness: the image of God brought\ninto my soul. For then only shall I be truly happy, when self-love,\nself-will, and all other roots of bitterness are rooted out of my heart,\nand the pure love of God overflows my whole soul. When Jesus is the\nsupreme and sole governor, and all things within, are subdued by his\ngrace; then the heart rests in peace, and all things move in their\nproper time and manner. The soul is retired, tho\u2019 in the midst of hurry;\nand sweet peace, and joy flow from Jehovah, their source. This is the\nvictory, the salvation, the liberty, the deliverance from sin, which\nvery few believe, and which no one can know, save he that receiveth\nit. But it is the privilege of the children of God, and every one who\nsincerely seeks and with all his might, strives for it, shall surely\nattain, by the Spirit of the Lord; for the mouth of the Lord hath\nspoken it.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday 31._ After preaching, gave myself to my usual study. O freedom\nof heart, and contempt of the world, how great blessings are ye?\nPlentifully did the Lord shower his love into my soul this day, in our\npublic meeting. Verily thou art the pleasure of my soul, the hope and\ndesire of my heart.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis day God prepared me for a sore trial, by giving me sweet repose\nin his love. I lived as it were in heaven. My soul was ravished with\nhis sweetness. So was I enabled to bear with calmness and patience,\nthe abusive language of one who came to my room, breathing out\nthreatenings against me. Alas, How many are there who are great friends\nin profession, but not such in reality.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday August 29._ In the night I was grievously tempted of the\ndevil. He injected such blasphemies, and threw such fiery darts as I\nnever experienced before. I was sore amazed, and cried unto the Lord\nJesus. He heard my cry, bruised his head and delivered my soul from his\nrage and fury. Lord, thou upholdest me, or I should fall! O stay with\nme, till I arrive safe in thy kingdom!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday, September 1._ Was a day of feasting and rejoicing to my soul.\nI had sweet converse with my Beloved, while I joyed in his salvation.\nI proclaimed his name to thousands, from _Jeremiah vi.\u00a010._ And never\nfelt more freedom to preach my Saviour. O my Lord, thou art precious to\nmy soul, and thy service is my reward!\u201d\n\n\u201c_1754. Sunday, March._ At the Lord\u2019s supper this morning, my soul\nwas dissolved with divine love. I could bless God that ever I was born\nto so happy and glorious an end, as to love and praise and serve my\nRedeemer. Yes, Jesus, thou art precious to my soul. Thy yoke is easy,\nand thy commandments holy and just and good. I desire to keep them with\nmy whole heart.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe more I see of the world, the less happiness I can discern in it.\nHappy are they who are well out of it. Let me die the death of the\nrighteous, and let my last end be like his.\u201d\n\n\u201cI wept and rejoiced that God had given me a soul capable of loving him.\nIn reading and meditating in the open air, my soul tasted of the joys\nin part, which those spirits enjoy who behold his face continually.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy soul vehemently groaned and longed for full redemption, while it\nenjoyed sweet converse with my dear Lord Jesus.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday 23._ I had intercourse with heaven all day. I thirsted for\nthe salvation of all men, as for my own soul. I was also deeply humbled\nbefore the Lord, seeing myself the most vile and unworthy of all his\ncreatures. He likewise made willing to be despised and evil spoken of.\nAnd I cannot but admire the wisdom and goodness of God, in so preparing\nme for what soon followed. One of my acquaintance, that went with me to\nthe house of God, laid to my charge things which I knew not. I sent for\nhim, but he could say nothing to my face. His mouth was stopped, and he\nseemed quite ashamed. I felt much patience and pity towards him. Lord\nJesus, give him repentance, and take prejudice out of his heart.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, May 3._ I had a feeling sense of the treasures of grace and\nglory, which are laid up for me, both here, and in heaven. O what a\nheaven did I experience in being able to call God, _my_ God, and _my_\nFather!\u201d\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER II.\n\n _The extract from his diary continued._\n\n\nTHE account of his experience, given in the preceding chapter, begins\nwith the first year of his conversion; in which likewise he began to\nlabour for the good of his neighbour. And it may be observed, that in\nhis progress, the experience of his heart, had its certain progressive\nstages, resembling in some degree, that of the _shining light_, or\nsun: a day suppose, whose early dawn is clear and promising, and whose\nlight and heat still increase ere long, is overcast with clouds, and\ndisturbed with tempest: the sun however keeps his course, and still\ngoes on to the _perfect day_. Such likewise is _the path of the just_,\nand such was the experience of this servant of God.\n\nThe first display of the divine goodness to his soul in justification,\nwas so clear, and his joy thereupon was so exceeding strong, that\nhe had then no expectation of seeing war any more. And he was indeed\ncarried on sweetly, for some considerable time.\n\nBut whatever was the cause he afterwards felt otherwise; often groaning\nunder a body of sin and death; complaining of struggles, between nature\nand grace; and of inconstancy and weakness in general: with ardent\npourings out of his soul to God, for complete deliverance. And his\nthirst after it was considerably augmented, by the transient tastes,\nwith which it pleased God to favour him from time to time, of the\nheaven of loving him _alone_, with all the powers of his soul.\n\nThe feeling of his heart in reference thereto; the methods which he\npursued in order to attain it, and the progress which by the grace of\nGod he made therein, are the subject of this chapter. Only for the sake\nof some, who desire the fullest information concerning him, I shall\nprefix a letter he sent me to _Bristol_, from _London_, in answer to\nsome enquiries which I made, occasioned by the following circumstance.\nSome months before he left _London_, the last time, a report prevailed\nthat he professed to be _cleansed from all sin_. On my hearing this, I\nwrote to know it from himself. He sent me the following answer.\n\n _London, June 17, 1757._\n\n\u201c_My dear Brother._\n\n\u201cWHAT you mention concerning me, I answer thus. 1st. I feel the\nconstant witness of the Spirit of God, that I am forgiven; and that I\nlove God and my neighbour. 2dly. I do not feel any evil tempers. 3dly.\nI firmly believe that God will eternally save my soul. But whether\n_all sin_ is taken out of my heart, and the possibility of grieving\nthe Spirit of God, I do not determine; neither do I think that I love\neither God, or my neighbour as I ought, or as I shall. I am helpless,\nbut God is my strength. I live by faith. I am ashamed. I have no wish,\nthat any one should believe I am saved from all sin. Indeed I ought to\njustify every one that believes the contrary, supposing it was so. But\nalas! If Christ did not pray for me, and keep me every moment, I should\ngo to the devil. Galatians ii.\u00a019. is what I feel. Jesus Christ is all\nin all.\n\n\u201cI have written simply, make the best use you can of it; but say\nnothing of it to any one (this I request.\u00b9) O let me be forgotten:\nnot of God, or of his children in prayer: but as I desire no good to\nbe said of me, I would not have any one sin against God in thinking, or\nspeaking the evil which my heart abhors. It is much to the glory of God,\nto save a proud, angry, self-willed, fearful, and unbelieving sinner;\ntherefore I almost say, that I glory in mine infirmities, that the\nstrength, and grace of Christ, may rest upon me, and save me from them\nall; and this he will do, as sure as he is faithful and true.\n\n \u201cI am, your affectionate brother,\n\n _Thomas Walsh_.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 And his request was then carefully observed. But the\n present occasion, will be thought reason sufficient for\n publishing it.\n\nHis struggles, sentiments, and attainments, partly before, and partly\nafter this letter, even to his death, are farther represented in the\nfollowing extracts.\n\n*\u201c_London, Sunday, June 2._ All this forenoon I was raised above\nmyself, and lost in God. Heaven as it were came down into my soul, and\nI saw the glory of the world to come! I beheld all the glory of this\nworld, as the mire in the streets. But Oh, the views, which I had of\nheaven, and the foretaste of those ravishing joys, that flow there, so\ntransported my soul, that I could bless God, that ever I was born.\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Tuesday 4._ My soul was transported this day to such a degree, as\ngreatly affected even my body. I do not recollect, that I ever before\nfelt such a sense of the presence and glory of God. Surely if he should\nmanifest himself a few degrees more to me, I could not live in the\nbody!\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Sunday 9._ I gave myself up to God. I heartily desire to give my\nwhole heart, chearfully, and without reserve to thee my love! Many\nthings would alienate it from thee. But O my Saviour, keep thou my\nevery desire. Knit me closely to thyself, and suffer no false fire\nto abide in my heart. I acknowledge, O my God, that it is an amazing\ninstance of thy love, that thou hast made me a child of thine. Let I\nbeseech thee, thy goodness be the strongest tie to keep my heart stayed\nupon thee.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Tuesday 18._ I was so low in body, that I could hardly speak or think.\nOh, how does this corruptible body press down my soul! Yet I can praise\nGod for his dispensations towards me; he afflicts me, that I may be\npartaker of his holiness.\u201d\n\n\u201cAt the Lord\u2019s table I was in an agony for holiness. My soul, and even\nmy body, were ready to faint with desire, and longing for all the mind\nthat was in Christ Jesus.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday, July 20._ O how my soul laboured with God in secret prayer!\nI said in my heart, if I am indeed a child of God, Why have I not\ngreater desires to depart, and to be with Christ? I prostrated myself\nbefore the throne of grace, and cried to God to answer me as by fire:\nand he soon silenced my despondences by answering in my heart, \u2018My son,\nthou art mine.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201c_Wednesday, September 21._ God overpowered my whole frame, so that my\nbody fainted under the pouring out of the Spirit of Christ.\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Saturday, September 26._ My heart was quite melted with a sense of\nthe goodness of God, and of my own vileness. I think I now begin to\nrepent; to have a godly sorrow for my sins. Of this I am well assured,\nthat thoughts which were in my mind a year ago, are now a grief to me.\nThe Spirit of God brings the sins of my whole life to my remembrance.\nI read them all, but more especially, whatever has been wrong in\nme, since I was converted. My spirit within me mourns, and my heart\nfeelingly says, \u2018Oh that I had never sinned! O that my soul and body\nhad been always pure before thee! Oh that I had always the same light\nand power that God has given me now!\u2019 But altho\u2019 I am vile, yet this,\nblessed be God I know, there is now no condemnation to me: the blood of\nChrist hath washed away all my sins. I have the Spirit of adoption, and\nthe peace of my God. I love him, and all his dear children; yea, and my\nenemies likewise. I hunger and thirst after righteousness. I rejoice in\nmy God, and delight in doing his will. I know in whom I have believed.\nMy name is written in heaven. Hallelujah!\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday, November 22._ I enjoyed a fulness of God in my soul; and had\ninfinite sweetness in communion with my Saviour. Lord I am not worthy\nof these manifestations: But I see all is of _free grace_. I receive\nall through Christ the righteous. He drank the bitter cup, that I might\ndrink the cup of consolation. Lord I would love thee infinitely, if I\nwere able! My whole soul cries out for power to do thy will perfectly.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Monday December 2._ I feel I am a mere nothing, and that if God\nwithdraw his grace from me but for a moment, I should do nothing but\nsin.\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Sunday 22._ All the day long my Lord was wonderfully present with\nme in every ordinance. Truly my soul longed vehemently to be, and live\nlike my Saviour the holy Jesus. This indeed is the thing I aim at; and\nI believe according to the sure word of promise, I shall attain. O what\ndepths and heights of holiness do I discern attainable in this world.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI felt much shame before the Lord to day, for my unfaithfulness, and\nunfruitfulness. O God enter not into judgment with me for my sins of\nomission!\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Sunday July 4._ I was troubled in my spirit because of lightness of\nheart, and speaking _my own words_, (Isaiah lviii.) How many idle words\ndo I speak! It ill becomes a Christian, much more a preacher ever to\nlaugh.\u201d\n\n\u201c_October 6._ I rose with much sorrow and concern; and with shame\nand much brokenness of heart, bowed my soul before the Lord. My\nheaviness endured as it were but a moment, and the divine light shone\ntranscendently bright upon my soul. Praying with a few friends, my joy\nin the Lord overcame my feeble body. And it proved to be a preparation\nfor a trial, which came soon after. I had sweet communion with Jesus,\nand three of his redeemed ones this day. In the evening I pressed upon\nthe people the necessity of _inward life_, from _Acts v.\u00a020._\u201d\n\n\u201cMy soul was mightily encouraged while I expounded, _John xiv. 21\u201223._\nInward and constant liberty is what I want; to be always recollected,\nhaving my mind stayed upon God. I would live like an angel below. For\nsome moments indeed, I often love and rejoice in a wonderful manner:\nbut alas, \u2018How soon it dies away.\u2019 I become comparatively cold, and can\nneither pray with freedom, nor rejoice with reverence.\u201d\n\n\u201cStill, nature, the devil and grace, are striving with me: Christ\nhowever has the upper-hand; but I want him \u2018to live and reign, the Lord\nof _every motion_ of my soul.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cI prayed with my kindred at taking my leave of them.\u00b9 My brother\nand sister were ill, and my mother weeping after me. I found a great\nstruggle, and believe I should have stayed, but for those scriptures,\n_He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me_.\nAnd, _Let the dead bury their dead; but go thou and preach the kingdom\nof God_. My heart felt pain and sorrow: but I took up my cross, and\nwent immediately to _Bellygarane_ (where were a colony of _Germans_)\nand preached that night. O what is needful for a minister of Jesus!\nWhat faith, love, purity, divine light, life and strength to finish his\ncourse with joy!\u201d\n\n \u00b9 He was then going to _England_ the third, and which was the\n last time.\n\n\u201cMeeting the penitents, I could hardly speak in the last prayer, I was\nso overpowered with the presence and majesty of God.\u201d\n\n\u201cI rose early this morning, after watering my pillow with my tears more\nthan ever I remember to have done before.\u201d\n\n\u201cThroughout the various exercises of the day I had strong assurance,\nthat the Lord would eternally save me; especially as I sat at dinner,\nconversing with my brethren of the things of God.\u201d\n\n\u201cHaving this evening to myself without preaching (a rare thing with\nhim) I shut myself up, and sought the Lord with prayers and tears. Shew\nme, my Lord, thy glory, or let me die that I may see thee! If I cannot\nperfectly love thee, and do thy will upon earth, send for me and take\nmy soul to heaven. But Lord, God, hast thou not spoken by _Moses_,\n_Deuteronomy xxx.\u00a06._ and by _Ezekiel xxxiv. 23\u201232._ If these are thy\nwords and promises, I pray and plead, that they may be fulfilled in me,\naccording to their utmost extent, O come and baptize me with fire!\u201d\n\n\u201cAt prayer with some friends, the Lord applied powerfully to my heart,\n\u2018Go and sin no more!\u2019 Now the Lord has answered for himself. I believe\nit is his will, that from this moment I should sin no more! and that\nI should have such a faith, as never to depart from Christ in thought,\nword, or deed; that so, being inseparably one with him I should walk in\nthe spirit, and sing and praise him evermore! Angels praise my Saviour!\u201d\n\n\u201c_1757. Sunday._ All the day I was happy in my Lord, rejoicing in\nconfidence that he would save me eternally. I could pray, and love, and\nweep.\u201d\n\n\u201cIt was a day of great blessing, and of great trials. I came home\nthrough much snow and rain. But it was all sweet with Christ. I called\non the strong for strength; and after meditation, lay down in peace.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Thursday._ I employed all the day in reading the _Hebrew_ and _Greek_\nscriptures, save some time which I spent in endeavouring to convince a\nman, that there is salvation for a person though he does not make use\nof the church liturgy.\u201d\n\n\u201cWith a heart full of matter, I preached on _Ephesians vi.\u00a011._ I could\ntruly say, that the law of thy mouth is dearer unto me, than thousands\nof gold and silver.\u201d\n\n\u201cAt dinner my soul was sweetly drawn out after God, I felt such an\nassurance of eternal salvation, as I never had before; not with such\nclearness of evidence.\u201d\n\n\u201cI felt great love to all mankind. My soul pleaded with God in their\nbehalf. O Jesus hasten thy kingdom. Come and put a period to sin and\nmisery! O my God, suffer not a vain thought to live in me. I never can\nrest till Jesus has poured his humble, pure, and happy mind into my\nsoul. For some moments I did taste of the felicity of heaven; but thro\u2019\npain and unbelief it was of short continuance.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday._ It being the public fast. I preached on Isaiah lviii.\u00a03.\nIt was a day of feasting to my soul. With great delight I rested in my\nGod. And it seemed to me, that the people of God were not yet to suffer.\nHereafter it will be; but at present, the grand controversy is with\nantichrist.\u00b9 Jesus will avenge the quarrel of his covenant.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 For some considerable time before, and during great part\n of his last sickness, his thoughts entered deeply, into the\n prophecies of _Daniel_ and the _Revelation_. He calculated\n the times with great exactness, and spared no labour and\n pains, to be fully informed concerning the great things\n which those passages teach still await the world. In short\n he was rapt up in those future scenes, _hastening to the\n coming of the Son of_ God, in his kingdom of grace and\n glory. His opinion was, that great and amazing things were\n at the door, and he has frequently said to a young man,\n \u201cMy brother if you live to the years of a man (meaning\n three score and ten) you shall see these things.\u201d\n\n\u201cI seek perfection, and uninterrupted communion with the blessed God,\nFather, Son, and Holy Ghost. True; I am not worthy of the crumbs under\nthy table; yet I look thro\u2019 thy rich grace, for all the precious and\neternal blessings of the new Covenant.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday._ This was a glorious day indeed. Great and marvellous were\nthe blessings which God bestowed upon me. He blesses me in every duty:\nall is useful; all works together for my good. I go on my way singing\nthe hundred and thirty-eighth psalm, _They shall sing in the ways of\nthe Lord; for great is the glory of the Lord_.\u201d\n\n\u201cJesus was with me in all I did. He gave me light, love, help, joy,\npeace, and strength in all. In his Spirit I went to rest.\u201d\n\n*\u201cWherever I was, and in whatsoever I did, my soul delighted in God:\nnever had I deeper, or more sweet manifestations of his gracious\npresence. I could not but praise him, and thirst for more perfect union\nwith him! Surely this is the foretaste of glory! O if Christians did\nbut rightly understand the nature, power, and extent of _the kingdom\nof God_ in the soul, I am persuaded they would not rest satisfied with\nbare pardon of sin, and some joy and peace, when they may have perfect\nand uninterrupted rest! If once sin be totally destroyed, and the\nSpirit filled with the light, and love of God, it is then neither hurt\nnor hindred, by any person or thing; but steddily goes on its heavenly\njourney, united to Christ, more and more daily. _It does not yet appear\nwhat we shall be_, even in this world.\u201d\n\n*\u201cO Christ, What hast thou done for me! What shall I say of, or unto\nthee? This I say, that I love thee! O let it be with all my heart, and\nsoul, and mind, and strength. At intercession, I felt such a degree of\nthe presence of God, as utterly amazed me. O glorious Lord, how shall\nI bless thee!\u201d\n\n*\u201cMy heart continually rested in God, and drank of the living waters;\nyea, my very body was supported by the joy wherewith my soul was\nrefreshed: so that after preaching three times to-day, beside visiting\nthe sick, and well; my strength was more than when I rose in the\nmorning.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Friday._ A day of fasting (a frequent practice of his.) At prayer my\nsoul was greatly humbled before God. Entire resignation, without much\njoy, was the state of my heart this day.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Saturday, March 12, 1757._ Preparing for a short journey to-day,\nand laying up my books, I felt some little distraction. I could bless\nGod however, that I had not money to lay up. Alas, for the rich of\nthis world: how are they to be pitied! How hardly can they be saved?\nJesus, make and keep me poor in spirit; nor suffer this world ever\nto defile me. Suffer not my soul to cleave to the dust, but cause all\nmy affections to flow towards thyself. I would not live upon earth. I\ndesire, pray, and labour, that my heart may be in heaven, with Christ\nmy head.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday 13._ I conversed with one to-day, who told me, that for\nfourteen years last past, she never found any unhappiness, but always\nrejoiced in the love of God. Before and after sacrament, I found such\ndesire, as almost made my heart break. My soul and flesh cried, mourned\nand wept for the perfect love of God. There is a beauty and excellence\nin holiness, which has quite won my heart.\u201d\n\n\u201cAll day, both in reading, prayer, and conversation, I felt something\nof that promise, John iv.\u00a014. I look for religion to possess, and\nentirely change me. I see and feel, that Christianity is something\ndivine, living, generous, powerful, and internal. It is _God dwelling\nin the soul of man_, 2\u00a0Corinthians vi.\u00a016.\u201d\n\n*\u201c_Friday 18._ I prayed, and read till twelve. My body began then to\ncomplain. It does not like fasting; but my soul did banquet on the\nrich delicacies of the love and promises of God. I am in the way to\nheaven; but I want a heavenly nature, heaven _within_ me. My soul can\nbe satisfied with nothing less than God. Jesus, my dear Jesus, let me\never esteem thy blood, and righteousness above the whole world! Through\nthee I come to God. By thee I enter heaven. Thou art heaven.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy heart was penetrated with the goodness and love of God. I see still\nmore clearly, that love is the fulfilling of the law\u2015\u2015supreme, constant,\nand perfect love of God, and pure benevolent love to the whole of human\nkind.\u201d\n\n Happy soul, when once renew\u2019d,\n God in thee, and thou in God,\n Only feel\u2019st within thee move\n Tenderness, compassion, love.\n Love immense, and unconfin\u2019d,\n Love to all of human kind,\n Love, which willeth all should live,\n Love, which all to all would give,\n Love, that over all prevails,\n Love, that never, never fails:\n Stand secure, for thou shalt prove\n All th\u2019 eternity of love.\n\n\u201cThere is, there _can_ be no higher, no better, no sweeter divinity\nthan this, _My beloved is mine, and I am his_! O my soul rest in this!\nBe satisfied, and safe in the protecting, sanctifying, and reviving\nlove of _Immanuel, God with me_.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe 33d chapter of _Exodus_ came in my course of reading to-day. And O\nwhat pleading and communion between _Moses_ and his God. Happy man! who\nconversed with the glorious Jehovah, face to face.\u00b9 And yet St. _John_\nseems to express something higher and sweeter than even this, 1st\nEpistle i.\u00a03. For certainly internal union with God, and a fulness of\nhis spirit, are more excellent than any external manifestation can be.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 That is with a degree of familiarity and access, which was\n not allowed to any of the other patriarchs or prophets.\n For _strictly_ speaking, _no man hath seen God at any\n time_.\n\n\u201cI retired a few minutes after five, to wait for the coming of Jesus.\nMy soul is all desire after Christ. I am resolved to love and serve\nhim so as I have never yet done. Come _Holy Ghost_, and kindle the fire\nwithin my breast.\u201d\n\n*\u201cFrom a quarter after four this morning till ten, spent in prayer, and\nreading the scriptures, and such humiliation of soul, such a sense of\nmy vileness I hardly ever felt. It was genuine, godly sorrow indeed,\nwith a clear sight of the odiousness of sin. I believe the first time I\never sinned, was brought to my remembrance. My head was as waters, and\nmy heart as wax before the fire. But all the time I had a clear sense\nof the love of God; a witness that I was accepted in the beloved, and\nall the day after, my soul delighted itself in the Lord.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI ought to esteem myself unworthy of any comfort; my sins having\njustly deserved damnation. The blood of Christ is of infinite value\nand efficacy, otherwise I should never be saved. Infirmities, so\ncalled, which once I passed over without much remorse, now appear\nheinous, black, and damnable, and if God did not bear witness with my\nspirit, that they are all forgiven, would sink me into misery. People\nare seldom sufficiently sensible of the odiousness of pride, anger,\ninternal concupiscence, or an inordinate love of the creature; together\nwith the neglect of self-denial, and bearing the daily cross. These are\noverlooked; yea, some even plead for, and attempt to justify them. Lord,\nlet me never be an advocate for the devil. Give me grace heartily to\nlove those who tell me of my faults. Search out my sin, till thou find\nnone. My whole trust is in the blood of Jesus. I have no other plea;\nfor this one is enough, it will, it doth prevail with God, and bring my\nsoul to glory.\u201d\n\n*\u201cIn my closet the former part of this day, it was made indeed a time\nof love. I felt such sweetness, and divine felicity in my soul, and by\nfaith beheld the glory of God in such a manner as words cannot describe.\nI saw and tasted God in all things. My Lord Jesus Christ appeared\n_wonderful_ to me indeed, Isaiah ix.\u00a06. Praise, blessing, honour,\nglory, and thanksgiving be ascribed to the holy and adorable Trinity.\nWhat could I have believed, what understood of thee, unless thou my\nLord hadst revealed it to me?\u00b9 O love divine! O the wisdom, and power\nof God! Human tongue cannot express, nor angel minds conceive, how\ngreat and wonderful ye are in the saints; by whom God is glorified, and\nin whom Christ is _justified_ by the Spirit, (1\u00a0Timothy iii.\u00a016.) To\nwhom heaven is as it were let down, and whom eternal glory momentarily\nawaits! They now drink of the rivers of pleasure; of the well of life:\nand are warmed with the beams of the divine sun! They are delighted\nwith praises, allured by pleasures, cloathed with light, and filled\nwith God! Hallelujah! Amen.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 He seems to refer to some particular communication from God\n of his Triune Majesty.\n\n\n\n\n CHAPTER III.\n\n _The same subject continued._\n\n\nTHE continued advancement of his soul in the knowledge of God, is very\ndiscernible in the preceding sketch of his experience: although in the\nexpression of it, and of what follows in particular, he seems often at\na loss for words; human language falling so far short of those things\nof God, which can only be spiritually discerned. In these collections\nwe see a soul peculiarly remarkable for a daily, serious, steady,\nexact and uniform course of walking inwardly with God, and attending\noutwardly on all the precepts of the gospel. He poured out, simply his\nthoughts from the standing treasury of his heart, for his own sole use;\nfor the more effectual promotion of his intercourse with God, and for\nthe better adjustment of all his spiritual concerns.\n\n\u201c_1757._ I was up before five, read and prayed till I went to chapel.\nI felt much. The Lord knows what! In the evening we (the society)\nmet together in order to devote ourselves to God afresh, by renewing\nour covenant with him. My soul was greatly humbled before God, and\nfelt that for my backslidings he might justly have cast me off: for\nalthough I have not wickedly departed from my God, yet for my blots\nand short-comings I was made to blush. Jesus however I know stands my\nadvocate, and because he lives I live also.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI rose early, and after prayer and sermon communicated. The adorable\nSaviour gave me a taste of his sweetness, and a sight of his glory. I\nread, prayed, and conversed with Christian friends the rest of the day;\nwaiting for perfect love, and exhorting others earnestly to seek after\nthe same. Surely nothing is so desirable as this: God in us, and the\nvery perfection of gospel holiness. No man can be thoroughly blessed\ntill this unmixed love of God purifies his heart and fills his whole\nsoul.\u201d\n\n\u201cIn all I did all day, God was my life, my joy and my strength. His\nlove was as fire within me. I never felt such a burning in my heart\nbefore. O Jesus, what hast thou done for me!\u201d\n\n*\u201cI saw this day on a very triffling occasion, the necessity of having\nsupernatural light, and a witness from God in all things, even of the\ncommon affairs of life, that I please him. Some things occur which\nseem to be in equilibrio, so that one may reason for hours, and not be\nable to turn the scale. O may I never want light from God, whereby I\nmay clearly discern what I ought to do, and what avoid! And O let me\nhave thy strength also, or the light that is in me will be turned to\ndarkness; for alas, I often see my way but am lame, or drag on heavily!\u201d\n\n\u201cHappy the man who gives up all for Christ. Who having discovered,\nthat the favour and enjoyment of God is the _pearl of great price_,\nsells all earthly loves, and longs that he may buy,\u2015\u2015freely receive\nthe unspeakable gift of God.\u201d\n\n*\u201cSoon after ten, I lay down but could not sleep, through a deep and\ncomfortable sense of the love of Christ. His Spirit rested upon me and\nmade my heart flame with love to _my God, and my all_. It never entered\ninto my heart to conceive the loving him with all the heart, till he\nrevealed it to me by his Spirit.\u201d\n\n\u201cThroughout the whole of my progress, I feel that Satan is my enemy,\nbut Jesus is my friend. I fear not then: my Lord will save me from\nevery evil work, and preserve me to his heavenly kingdom.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe fire of divine love burned incessantly in my soul. Yet I perceive\nI must still wear some of the marks of my captivity, namely sickness,\ninfirmity and death. My soul would fain fly up to God, but I am yet\ndetained. I conversed with some eminent Christians, and Jesus fulfilled\nhis word, being with us of a truth.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis day was as yesterday, and much more abundantly. Indeed I can\ndeclare how greatly the Lord abased my soul, and broke me as it were\nin pieces. I could not perceive, that any sin had place in me; but I\nwait for a stronger evidence that I am made pure in heart. O God, shew\nme what by grace I am. Shew me if there be pride, anger or unbelief\nin my heart. Jesus, Son of the living God, send down the _Holy Ghost_\nfrom the Father, to bear me witness, and to shine upon thine own\nwork. Humble and prove, but strengthen and comfort me too. I am thine.\nThere is not one doubt in my heart thou wilt save me for ever. I\nsing praises! _Te Deum_ is sweet to me; so is _the Magnificate_, and\nthe _Nunc Dimittis_. O what has God wrought for me! Jesus thou art\nmy strength and righteousness! I am safe in thee, thou art my rock!\nSalvation is unto me for walls and bulwarks.\u201d\n\n\u201cHaving preached on, _obtained promises_, and having met the society,\nI retired about ten: it was a festal day to my soul. I do feel from\nexperience and scripture, that God has indeed changed my heart, and\ndestroyed the works of the devil. My heart cried for humility and love;\nthe whole mind of Christ.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe love of God still increased more abundantly than ever; the fire\nburned vehemently within me. I saw more clearly, that God had confirmed\nme in his favour; and that all was quietness and assurance for ever.\nI am astonished at the gift of God, and am willing if it pleaseth him\nto be hated of all nations for his name-sake. I will sing of mercy and\njudgment.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis day I was sorely tempted. Lord Jesus, thou knowest what my\ntemptations are. I would rather die than deny thee by sinning against\nthee. Thou seest my simple heart. O guard and cover my head. My enemies\nare many, subtle, and powerful, and malicious; but thou art greater\nthan them all. O God, thou art my friend, and strong helper, I will\ntrust, and not be afraid.\u201d\n\n\u201cI sensibly felt the Lord impressing his image on my soul. O perfect\nlove! \u2019Tis all in all in religion. I want it above every thing, even\nthis fulness of God in Christ.\u201d\n\n\u201cThe Lord gives me to drink of his love as out of a river. All things\nwork together for my good. May every one that is godly, praise him for\nthis, and trust in his name for ever!\u201d\n\n\u201cI took to my bed through violence of pain in my head, and other\nsymptoms of a fever. I resigned myself to God, and was unmoved. I wept\nwith gratitude to my good God. My fever soon abated, and in the night\nI got rest. So graciously does he deal with me!\u201d\n\n*\u201cAt the Lord\u2019s table, I had not only a clear witness that all was\nforgiven me; but likewise strong assurance, that God had purified my\nheart by faith. My soul was deeply affected with his love. The blessed\nJesus is present with, and precious to me. O let my soul adore the\nLord, and tell of his works with gladness. Let this be written for the\ngenerations to come.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI wept with a sense of the goodness of God to me, and found all my\ndependance is on Christ. Christ alone! He makes me to rejoice in his\nsalvation. His blood, and not my holiness, or usefulness is the only\ncause of my acceptance, and final justification. O who can bear praise,\nand rejoice in contempt? Only he that is fully crucified with Christ.\nThis is my aim, to burn and flame with pure love to God. Nothing less\nthan the full enjoyment of him shall ever satisfy me. Thy presence\nmakes my heaven. O praise the Lord ye servants of the Lord, all ye\nthat do his pleasure! Why am I not lost in astonishment and love! O\nthe goodness and condescension of the blessed Jesus!\u201d\n\n\u201cI was this day extremely ill in body; there was a burning all over my\nflesh. But God was the rest and life of my soul; who, notwithstanding\nmy sickness, enabled me to continue in prayer and reading his word;\nyea, there was a burning of love in my heart. O may I sink into this\nboundless sea, and lose myself in God!\u201d\n\n\u201cThis afternoon, taking a view of my whole life, from my infancy,\nthe manner of bringing me up, &c. I could not but admire and adore\nwith weeping, the goodness of God for his dealings with me. I was an\nignorant poor sinner; having no knowledge of God, and little of this\nworld. But the Lord looked upon me, and said unto me _live_! My soul\ndoth praise and magnify his name for ever! O for an enlarged heart!\nJesus thou art my strength.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI believe great things are at hand for me. This was one of my best\ndays, nothing will satisfy me till _John xiv.\u00a023._ is more fully than\never fulfilled in me: _And my Father will love him, and we will come\nunto him, and make our abode with him_. Jesus saith _I come quickly_.\nLord Jesus come! My soul burns with desire. I pant for the living God.\nO strengthen me to do always the things that please Thee! I believe\nthou wilt fully and finally save me.\u201d\n\n\u201cO what a mystery is the love of Christ! How sweet a banquet! How\ndelicious a wine! Lord thou hast ravished me with thy love! Death is\nnow sweet to me; and eternity affords me a most blessed and glorious\nhope. O what has God done for me! Holy Lord, accept of my heartiest\npraise, and the most perfect love that I at present can give.\u201d\n\n*\u201cBoth my body and soul were affected, with the great power of God\nresting upon me this Day. My whole nature bowed before the present\ndeity; and his high praises were in my mouth. He said unto my soul,\n\u2018Thou art made whole.\u2019 I replied, \u2018Lord, I believe.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cIn the midst of a variety of critical circumstances, my conscience was\nkept pure. _He that walketh uprightly, walketh surely._ And _What can\nharm you if ye be followers of that which is good?_\u201d\n\n*\u201cMy soul longs for fuller union with God; for more of the root and\nfruit of holiness, faith, and love. O let me lean on thy breast, and\nkiss thy feet. Keep me, my Lord, in thy bosom.\u201d\n\n\u201cAll day my cup ran over. I came to my room both wet and weary and\nlay down happy. My spirit still magnifies the Lord. I rest in him. He\ngiveth his beloved rest.\u201d\n\n*\u201cTo rejoice evermore, is my portion under the sun. My heart dissolves\nwith the goodness of God. Truly thou art unto me _a place of broad\nrivers_, Isaiah xxxiii. Blessed be the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! A\nstranger intermeddleth not with the happiness which I feel! The half\ncannot be told. O, it is heaven upon earth! After several exercises of\nfaith, love and prayer, I lay down in peace. My heart is full; and yet\n\n \u2018A point my good, a drop my store,\n \u2018Eager I ask, and pant for more.\u2019\n\n\u201cO how sweet is it to retire from the world; yea, even from converse\nwith the holiest Christians, to wait upon God alone; and to get closer\nacquaintance with the blessed Jesus. Happy the man that can go to God\nat any time, praying to him with faith and fervency. My God, all my\nsoul cries aloud for more of thy light and love. Manifest thyself more\nfully within me!\u201d\n\n\u201cLord, I know not that there is any one living, that has greater\ncause to love, and serve thee in truth, than myself; for thy ways of\nlove towards me, have been, and still are very wonderful. O how many\nsins hast thou forgiven me? How many snares of the devil hast thou\nbroken, and delivered me from? How many pains and afflictions hast thou\nsupported me under? How many fears and sorrows hast thou from time to\ntime, banished from my heart? Thou hast given me also of thy gifts; and\nwith reverence I speak it, thou hast given me thy grace. Thou hast sent\nme to preach thy word, and given me favour in the eyes of the people;\nneither have I spent my strength in vain. I believe Lord thou hast\ngiven me thyself, and that thou wilt give me in, and with thee, both\ngrace and glory!\u201d\n\n*\u201cI retired to fast; and poured out my heart for my own soul, for the\nchurch of God, and for mankind in general; that God would reform the\nwhole world. Days of fasting become sweet to me. I find more and more\ndelight in them. But by grace I am saved. Jesus is my righteousness.\nThro\u2019 faith in his blood, I offer myself, and all I do to him. The\nfavour of God I obtained by his death; the image of God is stamped\nupon my heart by his Spirit; and thro\u2019 his intercession, I obtain\neverlasting life. And yet will he reward every man according to his\nworks.\u201d\n\n\u201cI was this day sensibly convinced of the danger of following impulses\nof any kind, unless supported by the express authority of scripture.\nNature and _Satan_, suggest a variety of things, which having a shew of\ntruth and goodness, often lead persons into extravagance and error. It\nseems however a sure rule, that whatsoever promotes or increases purity\nand meekness, love towards God, and our neighbour, must be from heaven.\nAnd whatsoever does not tend to this, ought to be rejected. But O what\nneed is there here, of spiritual discernment, to distinguish between\nthe real graces of the _Holy Ghost_, and the counterfeit appearances of\nthe devil, and self-love! God of truth, and of love, lead and establish\nmy soul in the paths of justice, mercy, truth, and humility. Make me\nof a quick understanding in thy fear; nor leave me a moment to my own\nwisdom, or strength. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and\nearth. Praise the Lord O my soul!\u201d\n\n\u201cI adore thee, O my God, that thou hast made it lawful for me to pray\nto thee. Oh, how great is thy condescension to regard such a poor\ncreature as me! I will extol thy goodness, O Lord, my king.\u201d\n\n\u201cAll day long my heart burned with the love of God. My desires were\nunutterable; but he who knows the mind of the Spirit, will grant me\nall my petitions.\u201d\n\n\u201cI had close trials: but the consolations of God were so many, and so\nstrong, that I was borne above them. My body and soul were exceedingly\nstrengthened by the divine grace. The _baptism of fire_ I experience\nmore than ever. But still I am a poor creature.\u201d\n\n\u201cO how soon will this dream of life be ended! Lord, I long to see thee\nas thou art. Give me patience, gracious Lord.\u201d\n\n*\u201cFor about two hours in my room, I found such communion with God, as\nmy pen cannot write: no, it is beyond the power of words to describe\nthe happiness which I felt. Alas! that men should be so ungrateful to\nGod, and such enemies to their own soul, as not to seek happiness in\nJesus. O the delight of a soul fully united to God!\u201d\n\n\u201cAt his table, the Lord met me this day, in a wonderful manner. My\nwhole frame was so affected and overpowered, that I was ready to resign\nmy soul into his hands.\u201d\n\n\u201cI was still more deeply sensible of God\u2019s presence. My desire was so\nstrong, that it even pained my breast exceedingly. Indeed I cannot tell\nwhat I then felt. It was the work of God; but he knows in what manner,\nand degree. The fire spread; the light shined; and the power wrought:\nin short, _God within me lived_! Sing a new song, O my soul; sing with\na mighty voice. Proclaim to angels and men, the goodness of the Lord.\nJesus help me to praise thee yet more and more!\u201d\n\n\u201cI met with several trials to-day, but it was given me to bear them\nchearfully, and to praise the Lord, who has given me integrity of heart,\nand simplicity of intention, in all my ways. Lord I love thee. I will\npraise thy name yet more, even for ever and ever!\u201d\n\n\u201cO how plain is it, that God reveals to babes, those gracious things\nwhich are hid from the wise and prudent; so doth he magnify his mercy,\nand stain the pride of human glory. In my closet I wept much, that I\nmay be more filled with God than ever.\u201d\n\n\u201cI thirsted and prayed this day to be with him. My whole soul was in a\nflame for God. O for more faith, to see him continually!\u201d\n\n\u201cLord, I am sorely tempted, but thou comfortest me. I am happy in thy\nlove. Still open thy kingdom more fully and powerfully _within_ me.\u201d\n\n\u201cIn all things I come short; but I have the testimony of a good\nconscience.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI stand as in the presence of God. The awe of God I feel rests upon\nmy soul. O how dreadful, and yet how joyful is this place! Lord Jesu,\nthou art _Immanuel_, God with _me_!\u201d\n\n\u201cI mourned for the sins of the people, and found a willingness even\nto lay down my life, if that would save them from hell. Many wept, and\ntrembled. O the depths of love in God!\u201d\n\n\u201cI felt this day an ardent desire to suffer for his name-sake, tho\u2019 I\nam conscious of my own weakness.\u201d\n\n\u201cBeing much disturbed by dreams, I rose early, and called upon God.\nI continued reading, praying, and weeping, till seven in the evening.\nI was mollified, and deeply humbled. My soul adored _Immanuel_, and\ndesired to die, rather than offend him. O Holy Ghost, abide with, and\nin me for ever! A short sentence which occurred this day in reading,\nand which I made the subject of discourse, deeply affected me; namely.\n\n \u200e\u2018\u200e\u200f\u05d0\u05dc\u05d4\u05d9\u05dd \u05d0\u05ea\u05d4 \u05d0\u05dc\u05d9\u200f\u200e\u2019\u200e\n\n\u201cO God, thou art my God. Blessed be thy Majesty, and exalted be thy\nname. Let the earth and heavens praise and proclaim thy greatness and\nglory. Jesus, I love and adore thee! My soul\u2019s delight is in thee!\u201d\n\n\u201cI was told of some who talked evil of me. I prayed for myself, and for\nthem, and truly the love of God was as a mighty fire in my soul. O what\na heaven is this!\u201d\n\n\u201cAltho\u2019 love and joy lived and flowed in me, yet I wept and made\nsupplication, being strongly tempted by the devil. Ah Lord. Thou\nknowest my state and trials. My desire is before thee, and my groanings\nare not hid from thee. Hast not thou made me pure, and sealed me thine\nfor ever! Shine on thy work, and bear thy witness with my heart. Suffer\nnot thy servant to be of a doubtful mind.\u201d\n\n\u201cI see, that I ought to be much in prayer for the _Holy Ghost_.\nI plainly perceive that to be taught by him for one hour, is more\nprofitable to the soul than many days reading.\u201d\n\n\u201cI spent several hours in private, begging of God to enable me to\nfulfil the law of love. I feel so as I cannot write, the extent of\nChristian obedience. How deep, how wide!\u201d\n\n\u201cDeliver me O Lord from the strife of tongues, and from the ungodly,\nwho are a sword of thine. I found in retirement this day sore struggles,\nand deep consolation.\u201d\n\n*\u201cO how great is the profit of simple prayer, and diligent reading\nof the holy scriptures? They are I find, of singular service to\nme. My soul is calmed, sweetened, melted, invigorated, and sensibly\nstrengthened in the exercise of these holy duties. I weep and pray,\nand give thanks: yet still, I want deeper repentance, and much more\nhumility. I would be penetrated with the sense of _my own_ helplessness;\nand I do not find power equal to my will. I live however by faith, and\nfind God unspeakably, and continually present.\u201d\n\n\u201cMy soul was solidly happy, and longing for humility this day. I\ndesire to be simple, and filled more abundantly with love to God and\nmy neighbour.\u201d\n\n\u201cI never felt such gratitude to God, as I did this day, for bringing\nme from the idolatry of the _Romish_ church. My heart was grieved in\nreading some of their horrid doctrines\u00b9 about saints, and images. O God,\nthou hast done this for me; and thou hast done many thousand things\nbeside for me; and now I beseech thee do this for me, give me an humble,\nthankful and penitent heart.\u201d\n\n \u00b9 He was about this time, employed partly in reading\n Bishop _Usher_\u2019s famous disputation with the _Jesuits_ in\n _Ireland_. And of this book he says, \u2018I cannot think that\n a papist who has learning and the fear of God, can, after\n reading it, remain in the errors of _Popery_.\u2019\n\n\u201cThis was a feast, and a fast day to my soul. All the ordinances of God\nare exceeding precious and profitable to me.\u201d\n\n\u201cI was all day deeply engaged with God: wept much, and prayed earnestly,\nyet I had not much joy. I had a full and firm confidence that he would\nfulfil his word of promise to my soul. My weakness can do nothing\nwithout thy power. I lay hold on thy strength, and offer myself to thy\nholy will. O let me glorify thee, as well by _suffering_ as by _doing_.\u201d\n\n\u201cThis morning I met with a woman where I breakfasted, who was exceeding\nhappy in God. A few weeks ago I met her in the same place, but she was\nthen utterly dead and careless. I then spoke plainly to her, and at\nparting, after prayer, said \u2018I pray God you may never rest till you\nrest in Christ.\u2019 The words were applied to her heart, and her burden\nincreased every day, so that she was brought almost to black despair,\nwhen God revealed his love in her heart. She could now scarce tell it\nthro\u2019 weeping. O what a God is the God of the Christians!\u201d\n\n\u201c_January 1758, Sunday 1._ We met at four, and after prayer I preached\non Psalms xc.\u00a012. We had the good Mr. \u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015 at the chapel, whose\nhumility and fervour, more than compensated for the irregularity of\nhis sermon. I have had much more happiness on other days, than on this\nsabbath, tho\u2019 not more sincerity and resignation. I feel my weakness\nand confess my ignorance, and implore the wisdom and power of God.\u201d\n\n\u201cAfter being some hours in my room, the fire from heaven went through\nme, and I could praise the Lord continually, for his goodness to me. I\nfind such an impression of his power and love, as cannot be expressed\nin words.\u201d\n\n*\u201cThis whole sabbath was both _a delight and honourable_ to me. Such\nrevelations of God\u2019s goodness; such manifestations of his Spirit, and\nsuch operations of his love, I never felt. My very outward man was\naffected and refreshed. It cannot be declared what I then felt. Oh\nthere is much in these words, _Ye shall be baptised with the Holy Ghost\nand with fire_. Whatsoever I did, the Lord made it to prosper. O holy\nFather, let all the hosts of heaven praise and adore thy name!\u201d\n\n\u201cGod is love. This is the foundation of all my hopes. I feel much shame,\nbecause of my infirmities; but I have also sweet consolations.\u201d\n\n\u201cI was seized with a violent pain in my stomach, and was exceeding ill;\nhowever by the mercy and power of God, I went through the duties of\nthe day with delight, and could thank God for pain, so as I never could\nbefore.\u201d\n\n\u201cAs I read my _Greek_ testament this morning, my soul magnified the\nLord for the description, and progress of his work, contained in the\nacts of the apostles. And while I am now writing, my soul is so cheared\nwith the _fire_ of love, as I cannot describe, unless to such as\nexperience the same.\u201d\n\n\u201cLord, I have not publickly preached for thee this day, but I have\nhad many blessings from thee, and mine heart has been in thy work. I\nbeseech thee bless the labours of thy more faithful servants, whom I\nhave heard.\u201d\n\n*\u201cI have great cause to praise God, that I am free from worldly care.\nSurely I was appointed to this work in which I am engaged. O that I may\nobtain mercy of the Lord, to be found faithful! O Jesus, plead thou my\ncause in the heavens, and fill me with thy grace here upon earth. All\nmy hope of heaven stands in thee! O shew me, if there be ought in me\nwhich thou abhorrest? And let me hear thee say, \u2018Thou art all fair, my\nlove, there is no spot in thee.\u2019\u201d\n\n\u201cO that I could love and obey, as fast as I learn. Truth appears to me\nevery day with new lustre: new springs are opened, and the best wine\nkept until last.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Sunday 19._ After asking help from God, I preached my farewel sermon\n(farewel indeed; It was the last he preached in _London_, and the last\nday of his being there) at the Foundery, from _Acts xx.\u00a032._ _And now,\nbrethren I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is\nable to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them\nwhich are sanctified._ And in the evening, I bid them farewel at the\nchapel in _West-street_, from _Colossians ii.\u00a06._ _As ye have therefore\nreceived Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him._ In all the duties\nof the day, public and private, God was exceeding gracious to me. I\nbelieve I never felt such strength of love. I was in truth _sick of\nlove_. I could not sufficiently praise him. All words come far short of\nwhat I felt. Lord, thou hast given me much favour in the eyes of this\npeople. They shew it by words and deeds; yea prayers and tears! Reward\nthem a thousand fold. Bring me safe to _Bristol_, that there I may shew\nforth the praises of the Lord, and declare thy righteousness, and thy\nsalvation. Amen, Lord Jesus.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Monday 20._ After prayer with our family, I set out in the machine.\nI read my _Hebrew psalter_, and _the Christian pattern_. I found great\ntranquility of mind, and my spirit was refreshed with the goodness of\nGod. I conversed with three gentlemen, my companions in the coach, on\ndivine subjects. I prayed earnestly to God before I set out, that my\nfellow travellers might not swear or curse, and the Lord heard me; for\nso it was; they rather approved of scripture subjects and studies. O\nthe joy of a good conscience! And the rest which the soul finds in the\nlove of God. The Lord supplies the absence of friends, and all things\nthat are dear to us. His presence makes our paradise. It is not _where_\nbut what we are, which is the great matter.\u201d\n\n\u201c_Thursday 23._ At _Bristol_, I met Mr. W.\u00a0T. under whose preaching (as\nhas been related) God gave me the clear witness of his forgiving love.\nOur meeting was for the better. _As iron sharpneth iron, so doth the\ncountenance of a man his friend._ We remembered the years of the right\nhand of the most high; and how the Lord filled our mouths with laughter,\nwhen he brought back our captivity. Lord bless this man, and make him\nfaithful in all things! And now that I am come to this city to preach\nthe gospel of the kingdom, and spend my life and strength in thy\nservice; assist me O Lord, and make thy goodness known to me. Give me\nwisdom and strength, O help me Lord Jesus, to glorify thy name. Amen.\u201d\n\n\u201cI read through to day, the epistle of St. James. And I do not wonder\nthat the proud, the sensual, and the lovers of the world, yea all the\nungodly of the earth, should find fault with it. In prayer with the\nfamily, the spirit was poured out from on high upon us, and great grace\nrested upon us all.\u201d\n\n\u201cAfter prayer this morning, I began and read through, in _Greek_ and\n_Latin_ the 2d. Epistle to _Timothy_, and found much instruction, and\nreproof for my soul. O what a man ought a minister to be! How holy, and\nhow wise! What courage, zeal, patience and temperance, are necessary\nfor him in an especial manner in order to give account of himself and\nothers to God with joy.\u201d\n\n\u201cPreaching on _1\u00a0John iv.\u00a018._ My mind was more clearly enlightened\nthan ever, to see that _perfect love is Christian perfection_. By\nsimple, but powerful faith, I desire to attain it; and to live and\ngrow in this love, till my spirit returns to God.\u201d\n\nWith such desires, and in such meditations as these did he spend his\ndays and nights, longing and sighing for the sight of God continually;\nand in his prayers, the violence of his affections, did not a little\nincrease the weakness of his body.\n\n\n The End of the _Eleventh_ VOLUME.","title":"The works of the Rev. John Wesley, Vol. 11 (of 32)","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":87809}