{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/gutenberg_8526/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/gutenberg_8526","id":"gutenberg_8526","license":"Public Domain (US)","rights_basis":"gutenberg_metadata_copyright_false","source":"gutenberg","source_url":"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/8526","summary":null,"tags":["Bible. Genesis -- History of Biblical events -- Fiction","Category: American Literature","Category: Humour","Category: Novels","Diary fiction","Eve (Biblical figure) -- Fiction","Humorous stories"],"text":"Produced by David Widger and Cindy Rosenthal\n\n\n\n\n\nEVE'S DIARY\n\n\nBy Mark Twain\n\n\nIllustrated by Lester Ralph\n\n\n\nTranslated from the Original\n\n\n\nPart 1.\n\n\nSATURDAY.--I am almost a whole day old, now.  I arrived yesterday.\nThat is as it seems to me.  And it must be so, for if there was a\nday-before-yesterday I was not there when it happened, or I should\nremember it.  It could be, of course, that it did happen, and that I\nwas not noticing. Very well; I will be very watchful now, and if any\nday-before-yesterdays happen I will make a note of it. It will be best\nto start right and not let the record get confused, for some instinct\ntells me that these details are going to be important to the historian\nsome day.  For I feel like an experiment, I feel exactly like an\nexperiment; it would be impossible for a person to feel more like an\nexperiment than I do, and so I am coming to feel convinced that that\nis what I AM--an experiment; just an experiment, and nothing more.\n\nThen if I am an experiment, am I the whole of it?  No, I think not; I\nthink the rest of it is part of it.  I am the main part of it, but I\nthink the rest of it has its share in the matter.  Is my position\nassured, or do I have to watch it and take care of it? The latter,\nperhaps.  Some instinct tells me that eternal vigilance is the price\nof supremacy.  [That is a good phrase, I think, for one so young.]\n\nEverything looks better today than it did yesterday.  In the rush of\nfinishing up yesterday, the mountains were left in a ragged condition,\nand some of the plains were so cluttered with rubbish and remnants that\nthe aspects were quite distressing.  Noble and beautiful works of art\nshould not be subjected to haste; and this majestic new world is indeed\na most noble and beautiful work.  And certainly marvelously near to\nbeing perfect, notwithstanding the shortness of the time. There are too\nmany stars in some places and not enough in others, but that can be\nremedied presently, no doubt.  The moon got loose last night, and slid\ndown and fell out of the scheme--a very great loss; it breaks my heart\nto think of it.  There isn't another thing among the ornaments and\ndecorations that is comparable to it for beauty and finish.  It should\nhave been fastened better. If we can only get it back again--\n\nBut of course there is no telling where it went to.  And besides,\nwhoever gets it will hide it; I know it because I would do it myself.\nI believe I can be honest in all other matters, but I already begin to\nrealize that the core and center of my nature is love of the beautiful,\na passion for the beautiful, and that it would not be safe to trust me\nwith a moon that belonged to another person and that person didn't know\nI had it.  I could give up a moon that I found in the daytime, because I\nshould be afraid some one was looking; but if I found it in the dark, I\nam sure I should find some kind of an excuse for not saying anything\nabout it.  For I do love moons, they are so pretty and so romantic.  I\nwish we had five or six; I would never go to bed; I should never get\ntired lying on the moss-bank and looking up at them.\n\nStars are good, too.  I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I\nsuppose I never can.  You would be surprised to find how far off they\nare, for they do not look it.  When they first showed, last night, I\ntried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which\nastonished me; then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never\ngot one.  It was because I am left-handed and cannot throw good.  Even\nwhen I aimed at the one I wasn't after I couldn't hit the other one,\nthough I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod\nsail right into the midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times,\njust barely missing them, and if I could have held out a little longer\nmaybe I could have got one.\n\nSo I cried a little, which was natural, I suppose, for one of my age,\nand after I was rested I got a basket and started for a place on the\nextreme rim of the circle, where the stars were close to the ground and\nI could get them with my hands, which would be better, anyway, because I\ncould gather them tenderly then, and not break them. But it was farther\nthan I thought, and at last I had to give it up; I was so tired I\ncouldn't drag my feet another step; and besides, they were sore and hurt\nme very much.\n\nI couldn't get back home; it was too far and turning cold; but I found\nsome tigers and nestled in among them and was most adorably comfortable,\nand their breath was sweet and pleasant, because they live on\nstrawberries.  I had never seen a tiger before, but I knew them in a\nminute by the stripes.  If I could have one of those skins, it would\nmake a lovely gown.\n\nToday I am getting better ideas about distances.  I was so eager to get\nhold of every pretty thing that I giddily grabbed for it, sometimes when\nit was too far off, and sometimes when it was but six inches away but\nseemed a foot--alas, with thorns between! I learned a lesson; also I\nmade an axiom, all out of my own head--my very first one; THE SCRATCHED\nEXPERIMENT SHUNS THE THORN. I think it is a very good one for one so\nyoung.\n\nI followed the other Experiment around, yesterday afternoon, at a\ndistance, to see what it might be for, if I could.  But I was not able\nto make [it] out.  I think it is a man.  I had never seen a man, but it\nlooked like one, and I feel sure that that is what it is. I realize that\nI feel more curiosity about it than about any of the other reptiles.  If\nit is a reptile, and I suppose it is; for it has frowzy hair and blue\neyes, and looks like a reptile. It has no hips; it tapers like a carrot;\nwhen it stands, it spreads itself apart like a derrick; so I think it is\na reptile, though it may be architecture.\n\nI was afraid of it at first, and started to run every time it turned\naround, for I thought it was going to chase me; but by and by I found it\nwas only trying to get away, so after that I was not timid any more, but\ntracked it along, several hours, about twenty yards behind, which made\nit nervous and unhappy. At last it was a good deal worried, and climbed\na tree.  I waited a good while, then gave it up and went home.\n\nToday the same thing over.  I've got it up the tree again.\n\n\n\nSUNDAY.--It is up there yet.  Resting, apparently.  But that is a\nsubterfuge:  Sunday isn't the day of rest; Saturday is appointed for\nthat.  It looks to me like a creature that is more interested in resting\nthan in anything else.  It would tire me to rest so much. It tires me\njust to sit around and watch the tree.  I do wonder what it is for; I\nnever see it do anything.\n\nThey returned the moon last night, and I was SO happy!  I think it is\nvery honest of them.  It slid down and fell off again, but I was not\ndistressed; there is no need to worry when one has that kind of\nneighbors; they will fetch it back.  I wish I could do something to show\nmy appreciation.  I would like to send them some stars, for we have more\nthan we can use.  I mean I, not we, for I can see that the reptile cares\nnothing for such things.\n\nIt has low tastes, and is not kind.  When I went there yesterday evening\nin the gloaming it had crept down and was trying to catch the little\nspeckled fishes that play in the pool, and I had to clod it to make it\ngo up the tree again and let them alone. I wonder if THAT is what it is\nfor?  Hasn't it any heart? Hasn't it any compassion for those little\ncreature?  Can it be that it was designed and manufactured for such\nungentle work? It has the look of it.  One of the clods took it back of\nthe ear, and it used language.  It gave me a thrill, for it was the\nfirst time I had ever heard speech, except my own.  I did not understand\nthe words, but they seemed expressive.\n\nWhen I found it could talk I felt a new interest in it, for I love to\ntalk; I talk, all day, and in my sleep, too, and I am very interesting,\nbut if I had another to talk to I could be twice as interesting, and\nwould never stop, if desired.\n\nIf this reptile is a man, it isn't an IT, is it?  That wouldn't be\ngrammatical, would it?  I think it would be HE.  I think so. In that\ncase one would parse it thus:  nominative, HE; dative, HIM; possessive,\nHIS'N. Well, I will consider it a man and call it he until it turns out\nto be something else.  This will be handier than having so many\nuncertainties.\n\n\n\nNEXT WEEK SUNDAY.--All the week I tagged around after him and tried to\nget acquainted.  I had to do the talking, because he was shy, but I\ndidn't mind it.  He seemed pleased to have me around, and I used the\nsociable \"we\" a good deal, because it seemed to flatter him to be\nincluded.\n\n\n\nWEDNESDAY.--We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting\nbetter and better acquainted.  He does not try to avoid me any more,\nwhich is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him. That\npleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can, so as to\nincrease his regard.\n\nDuring the last day or two I have taken all the work of naming things\noff his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, for he has no\ngift in that line, and is evidently very grateful.  He can't think of a\nrational name to save him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of\nhis defect. Whenever a new creature comes along I name it before he has\ntime to expose himself by an awkward silence.  In this way I have saved\nhim many embarrassments.  I have no defect like this. The minute I set\neyes on an animal I know what it is.  I don't have to reflect a moment;\nthe right name comes out instantly, just as if it were an inspiration,\nas no doubt it is, for I am sure it wasn't in me half a minute before.\nI seem to know just by the shape of the creature and the way it acts\nwhat animal it is.\n\nWhen the dodo came along he thought it was a wildcat--I saw it in his\neye.  But I saved him.  And I was careful not to do it in a way that\ncould hurt his pride.  I just spoke up in a quite natural way of\npleasing surprise, and not as if I was dreaming of conveying\ninformation, and said, \"Well, I do declare, if there isn't the dodo!\"  I\nexplained--without seeming to be explaining--how I know it for a dodo,\nand although I thought maybe he was a little piqued that I knew the\ncreature when he didn't, it was quite evident that he admired me.  That\nwas very agreeable, and I thought of it more than once with\ngratification before I slept. How little a thing can make us happy when\nwe feel that we have earned it!\n\n\n\nTHURSDAY.--my first sorrow.  Yesterday he avoided me and seemed to wish\nI would not talk to him.  I could not believe it, and thought there was\nsome mistake, for I loved to be with him, and loved to hear him talk,\nand so how could it be that he could feel unkind toward me when I had\nnot done anything?  But at last it seemed true, so I went away and sat\nlonely in the place where I first saw him the morning that we were made\nand I did not know what he was and was indifferent about him; but now it\nwas a mournful place, and every little thing spoke of him, and my heart\nwas very sore. I did not know why very clearly, for it was a new\nfeeling; I had not experienced it before, and it was all a mystery, and\nI could not make it out.\n\nBut when night came I could not bear the lonesomeness, and went to the\nnew shelter which he has built, to ask him what I had done that was\nwrong and how I could mend it and get back his kindness again; but he\nput me out in the rain, and it was my first sorrow.","title":"Eve's Diary, Part 1","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":2286}