{"collection":"myth-cosmogony","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/perseus_phi0119_phi011_phi0119.phi011.perseus-eng2/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/perseus_phi0119_phi011_phi0119.phi011.perseus-eng2","id":"perseus_phi0119_phi011_phi0119.phi011.perseus-eng2","license":"CC-BY-SA-4.0","rights_basis":"perseus_github_repo_license_cc_by_sa_4.0","source":"perseus","source_url":"https://github.com/PerseusDL/canonical-latinLit/blob/master/data/phi0119/phi011/phi0119.phi011.perseus-eng2.xml","summary":null,"tags":["Plautus"],"text":"Dramatis Personae DEMIPHO, an aged Athenian. LYSIMACHUS, an aged Athenian. CHARINUS, son of Demipho, in love with Pasicompsa. EUTYCHUS, son of Lysimachus. ACANTHIO, the servant of Charinus. A COOK. PASICOMPSA, a young woman beloved by Charinus. DORIPPA, the wife of Lysimachus. SYRA, an old woman, her servant. PERISTRATA, These characters are only introduced in the two Scenes at the end of the Fourth Act, which are generally considered to be spurious. the wife of Demipho. LYCISSA, her attendant. SLAVES. (Scene.\u2014Athens; before the houses of LYSIMACHUS and DEMIPHO which are adjacent to each other.) THE SUBJECT. THIS Play (which is thought by some not to have been the composition of Plautus) describes the follies of a vicious old man and his son. Two years before the period when the Play opens, Charinus has been sent by his father Demipho to traffic at Rhodes. Returning thence, he brings with him a young woman, named Pasicompsa, who is in reality his mistress, but whom he pretends to have purchased for the purpose of her being an attendant upon his mother. Demipho, in the absence of his son, goes down to the ship, and seeing the young woman there, falls desperately in love with her. He then pretends to Charinus that she is too handsome to be brought into the house as a servant, and that she must be sold again. Insisting upon this, he persuades his friend, Lysimachus, to purchase her for him in his own name, and to take her to his own house. This being done, and the damsel brought to the house, the wife of Lysimachus unexpectedly returns home from the country, and finds her there. In the meanwhile, Charinus, being reduced to despair on losing his mistress, determines to leave the country. His friend Eutychus, the son of Lysimachus, having discovered his friend\u2019s mistress in his father\u2019s house, stops him just as he is about to depart, and informs him where she has been found. He then reconciles his own parents, and the Play concludes with his very just censure of Demipho for his vicious conduct. THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.] A YOUNG man, being sent (Missus) by his father to traffic, buys (Emit) a damsel of remarkable beauty, and brings her home. The old man, after he has seen her, makes enquiry (Requirit) who she is. The servant pretends (Confingit) that she has been bought by the son as an attendant for his mother. The old man falls in love with (Amat) her, and pretending that he has sold her, gives her in the charge of (Tradit) his neighbour. His wife thinks that he has brought (Obduxe) a mistress home. Then his friend stops (Retrahit) Charinus in his flight, after he has discovered his mistress. (The PROLOGUE, spoken by CHARINUS.) CHARINUS Two things have I now resolved to do at the same time; both the subject and my own amours will I disclose. I am not doing like as I have seen other lovers do in Comedies, who relate their woes either to the night or to the day, or to the Sun or to the Moon; who, faith, I don\u2019t suppose pay much regard to the complaints of mortals, either what they wish or what they don\u2019t wish. To yourselves in preference will I now relate my woes. In the Greek this Play is called the Emporos Emporos: The Greek word \u1f10\u03bc\u03c0\u03bf\u03c1\u1f78\u03c2, signifying a merchant. of Philemon; the same in the Latin is the Mercator of Marcus Accius. My father sent me hence to trade at Rhodes. Two years have now passed since I left home. There I began to love a fair one of remarkable beauty. But how I was captivated by her, I\u2019ll tell you, if you\u2019ll lend ear, and if you\u2019ll have the kindness to give your attention to this. And yet in this, but little have I followed the method of our forefathers in my own person, and on the spot as a tell-tale As a tell-tale: He apologizes for his apparent boldness in breaking in upon them, and commencing to relate his amours, without first asking their leave. of my own amours am I represented before you. But all these failings are wont to attend on love\u2014care, trouble, and refinement overmuch. Not only him who loves, but every one to whom this latter fault extends, him with a great and weighty evil does it affect; nor by my troth, in fact, does any one aim at refinement, beyond what his means allow of, without heavy disaster. But to love as well are these evils incident, which I have not as yet recounted\u2014 sleeplessness, a troubled mind, confusion, terror, and apprehension, trifling, and folly even, rashness too, thoughtlessness, foolhardy impudence, wantonness, lust, and malevolence; covetousness is inherent as well, idleness, injustice, want, contumely and wastefulness, talkativeness or moody silence. This latter is the fact, because things which relate not to the purpose, nor are of utility, the same does the lover give utterance to full oft at an unseasonable moment; and yet again, this moody silence for this reason do I commend, because no lover is ever so skilled in eloquence, as to be enabled to give utterance to that which is for his own interest. You, then, must not be offended with myself for my babbling; Venus bestowed it upon me on that same day on which this passion. To that point am I resolved to return, that what I commenced upon I may disclose. In the first place, when in life I had passed from my boyish days, and my disposition was weaned from childish pursuits, I began distractedly to love a Courtesan in this place. Forthwith, unknown to my father, my means went to be wasted upon her; an exacting Procurer, the owner of this damsel, by every method that he could, grasped everything into his own possession Grasped everything into his own possession: Rapiebat domum. Literally he carried off home.. Night and day my father censured me for this; represented the perfidy, the wickedness of Procurers; how that his own property was being forcibly rent in pieces, while that of this Procurer was increasing; this too in the loudest tones; sometimes muttering to himself; refusing to speak to me; even denying that I was his child; crying aloud through all the city and proclaiming that all should withhold from trusting me when desiring to borrow; that love had allured many a one to ruin; that I, passing all bounds, regardless of decency, and acting wrongfully, laid hands upon and tore whatever I could from him at home; that \u2019twas a most vile system that those choice possessions which he, by enduring every hardship, had acquired, should all be squandered away and parted with through the violence of my desire. That now for so many years he had supported myself, a reproach to him; that were I not ashamed, I ought not to desire to live. That he himself, at the very moment after he had passed his boyish days, did not, like me, devote his attention to love or indolence in slothfulness, nor, indeed, had he the control of himself, so very strictly by his father was he held in check; that in the various sordid pursuits of the country he was employed, and that only every fifth year even was he then enabled to visit the city, and that immediately after he had had a sight of the Festival Had had a sight of the Festival: Spectavisset peplum. Literally, had seen the show of the garment. At the great Panathenaea, or Festival of Minerva, which was celebrated every fifth year, the peplum of Minerva was exposed to public view. A procession was afterwards formed, to carry it to the Temple of Minerva, or Athene Polias. The peplum was a garment of crocus colour, woven by virgins. On it were represented the conquest of Enceladus and the Giants by Minerva. The garment was not carried by hands, but on the mast of a ship; and this ship, which was usually kept near the Areiopagus, was moved along by machinery., back again instantly into the country was he wont to be driven by his father. That there by far the most of all the household did he toil, while thus his father would say to him: For yourself you are ploughing, for yourself you harrow, for yourself you sow, for your own self too do you reap; for yourself, in fine, will this labour be productive of happiness. That after life had left his father\u2019s body, he had sold the farm, and with that money had bought for himself a bark of fifteen tons Of fifteen tons: Metretas trecentas. Literally, three hundred metretae. The metreta was properly a Greek liquid measure of about nine gallons. If, as some of the books inform us, in weight it was equal to one hundred-weight, three hundred of them would make fifteen tons. It is, however, not improbable that the word really signifies a weight nearer in capacity to a ton than to a hundred-weight., and with the same had transported merchandize to every quarter, even until he had acquired the property which he then possessed. That I ought to do the same, if I would be as it behoved me to be. I, when I found that I was disliked by my father and was an object of hate to him whom I was bound to please, distracted and in love as I was, resolutely made up my mind. I said that I would go to traffic, if he pleased; that I would renounce my amour, so as to be obedient to him. He gave me thanks, and praised my good feeling, but failed not to exact my promise; he built a merchant-ship A merchant-ship: Cercurum. The merchant-ships, which were called cercuri, are said to have been so called from the island of Corcyra, or Cercyra, so famous for its traffic, where they were said to have been first built. Some writers suppose them to have originally been peculiar to the inhabitants of the Isle of Cyprus., and purchased merchandize; the ship ready, he placed it on board; besides, to myself with his own hand he paid down a talent of silver; with me he sent a servant, who formerly had been my tutor from the time when I was a little child, to be as though a guardian to me. These things completed, we set sail; we came to Rhodes, where the merchandize which I had brought I sold to my mind according as I wished; I made great profits, beyond the estimate of the merchandize which my father had given me; and so I made a large sum. But while in the harbour I was walking there, a certain stranger recognized me, and invited me to dinner. I went, and took my place at table, being merrily and handsomely entertained. When at night we went to rest, behold, a female came to me, than whom not another female is there more charming. That night, by order of my entertainer, did she pass with me; consider your own selves, how very much he gratified me. Next day, I went to my host; I begged him to sell her to me; I said that for his kindnesses I should ever be grateful and obliged. What need is there of talking? I bought her, and yesterday I brought her hither. I don\u2019t wish my father to come to know I\u2019ve brought her. For the present, I\u2019ve left her and a servant in the harbour on board the ship. But why do I see my servant running hither from the harbour, whom I forbade to leave the ship? I dread what the reason may be. (Stands aside.) (Enter ACANTHIO, at a distance, in haste.) ACANTHIO (to himself.) With your utmost power and might always try and endeavour that your younger master Your younger master: Herus minor. One version renders these words, your master when thrown down. That surely cannot be the meaning of the passage. may by your aid be preserved. Come then, Acanthio, away with weariness from you; take care and be on your guard against sloth. At the same time put an end to this panting; troth, I can hardly fetch my breath; at the same time, too, drive right full against all those persons who come in the way, shove them aside, and push them into the road. This custom here is a very bad one; no one thinks it proper for him to give way to one who is running and in haste; and thus three things must be done at the same moment, when you have commenced upon but one; you must both run and fight, and squabble as well, upon the road. CHARINUS (apart.) What\u2019s the reason of this, that he\u2019s requiring speed for himself at a rate so rapid? I have some anxiety, what the business is, or what news he brings. ACANTHIO (to himself.) I\u2019m trifling about it. The more I stop, the greater the risk that\u2019s run. CHARINUS (apart.) He brings news of some misfortune, I know not what. ACANTHIO (to himself.) His knees are failing this runner. I\u2019m undone, my spleen is in rebellion Spleen is in rebellion: He alludes to the expansion of the spleen by the act of running fast., it\u2019s taking possession of my breast. I\u2019m done up, I can\u2019t draw my breath. A very worthless piper should I be. I\u2019 faith, not all the baths will ever remove this lassitude from me. Am I to say that my master Charinus is at home or abroad? CHARINUS (apart.) I\u2019m doubtful in my mind what the matter is; I\u2019d like for myself to learn of him, that I may become acquainted with it. ACANTHIO (to himself.) But why still standing here? Why still hesitating to make splinters of this door? (Knocks at the door of DEMIPHO\u2019S house, and calls.) Open the door, some one. Where\u2019s my master, Charinus? Is he at home or abroad? Does any one think fit to come to the door? CHARINUS (presenting himself.) Why, here am I, whom you\u2019re looking for, Acanthio. ACANTHIO (not seeing him.) There is nowhere a more lazy management than in his house. CHARINUS What matter is afflicting you so terribly? ACANTHIO (turning round.) Many, master, both yourself and me. CHARINUS What\u2019s the matter? ACANTHIO We are undone. CHARINUS That beginning do you present unto our foes. ACANTHIO But your own self it has befallen, as fate would have it. CHARINUS Tell me this matter, whatever it is. ACANTHIO Quietly\u2014I want to take a rest. (He pants.) CHARINUS But, i\u2019 faith, do take the skirt of your coat Skirt of your coat: Laciniam. The laciniae were the angular extremities of the pallium, and the toga, one of which was brought round over the left shoulder. It was generally tucked into the girdle, but was sometimes allowed to hang loose. From the present passage, we may conclude that it was sometimes devoted to the purposes of a pocket-handkerchief., and wipe the sweat from off you. ACANTHIO For your sake, I\u2019ve burst the veins of my lungs; I\u2019m spitting blood already. (He spits.) CHARINUS Swallow Aegyptian resin with honey; you\u2019ll make it all right. ACANTHIO Then, i\u2019 faith, do you drink hot pitch Drink hot pitch: Commentators have been at a loss to know why Acanthio should be so annoyed at the recommendation of Charinus, and why he should answer him in these terms. The ingenious Rost seems in a great measure to have hit upon the true meaning of the passage. Charinus tells him that a mixture of resin and honey is good for the lungs. Now, from what Pliny says, B. 24, ch. 6, we should have reason to suppose that some kinds of resin were used in diseases of the lungs. But, on the other hand, Aristotle, in his History of Animals, B. 8, ch. 24, mentions a certain resin called sandonache, which was of a poisonous nature. Acanthio, then, may have been frightened from a previous knowledge of the doubtful nature of resins as a remedy; he may also have heard that the Egyptians preserved their mummies with honey and resin, and his stomach may have revolted at swallowing such a mixture; and, thinking that his master is trifling with him, he answers him in anger. The latter explanation will appear the more probable when we remember, that as honey and resin were used for the embalming of the higher classes, the bodies of the poorer persons in Egypt were preserved by being dipped in pitch; and though this did not suggest itself to Rost, it is not improbable that the servant intends by his answer to repay his master in the same coin. Perhaps he may have imagined that his master intended him to swallow the mixture in a hot, melted state, just as when it was injected into the mummies. Persons convicted of blasphemy were sometimes condemned to swallow melted pitch; then your troubles will vanish. CHARINUS I know no one a more tetchy fellow than yourself. ACANTHIO And I know no one more abusive than yourself CHARINUS But what if I\u2019m persuading you to that which I take to be for your benefit? ACANTHIO Away with benefit of that sort, that\u2019s accompanied with pain. CHARINUS Tell me, is there any good at all that any one can enjoy entirely without evil; or where you mustn\u2019t endure labour when you wish to enjoy it? ACANTHIO I don\u2019t understand these things; I never learnt to philosophize, and don\u2019t know how. I don\u2019t want any good to be given me, to which evil is an accompaniment. CHARINUS (extending his hand.) Come now, Acanthio, give me your right hand. ACANTHIO It shall be given; there then, take it. (Gives his hand.) CHARINUS Do you intend yourself to be obedient to me, or don\u2019t you intend it? ACANTHIO You may judge by experience, as I\u2019ve ruptured myself with running for your sake, in order that what I knew, you might have the means of knowing directly. CHARINUS I\u2019ll make you a free man within a few months. ACANTHIO You are smoothing me down. CHARINUS What, should I presume ever to make mention of an untrue thing to you? On the contrary, before I said so, you knew already whether I intend to utter an untruth. ACANTHIO Ah! your words, upon my faith, are increasing my weakness. You are worrying me to death! CHARINUS What, is this the way you\u2019re obedient to me? ACANTHIO What do you want me to do? CHARINUS What, you? What I want is this\u2014 ACANTHIO What is it then that you do want? CHARINUS I\u2019ll tell you. ACANTHIO Tell me, then. CHARINUS But still, I\u2019d like to do it in a quiet way. ACANTHIO Are you afraid lest you should wake the drowsy Spectators The drowsy Spectators: No wonder if this most tiresome dialogue has sent them to sleep. from their nap? CHARINUS Woe be to you! ACANTHIO For my part, that same am I bringing to you from the harbour. CHARINUS What are you bringing? Tell me. ACANTHIO Violence, alarm, torture, care, strife, and beggary. CHARINUS I\u2019m undone! You really are bringing me hither a store of evils. I\u2019m ruined outright. ACANTHIO Why, yes, you are\u2014 CHARINUS I know it already; you\u2019ll be saying I\u2019m wretched. ACANTHIO \u2019Tis you have said so; I\u2019m mum. CHARINUS What mishap is this? ACANTHIO Don\u2019t enquire. It is a very great calamity. CHARINUS Prithee, do relieve me at once. Too long a time have I been in suspense. ACANTHIO Softly; I still wish to make many enquiries before I\u2019m beaten. CHARINUS By my troth, you assuredly will be beaten, unless you say at once, or get away from here. ACANTHIO Do look at that, please, how he does coax me; there\u2019s no one more flattering when he sets about it. CHARINUS By heavens, I do entreat and beseech you to disclose to me at once what it is; inasmuch as I see that I must be the suppliant of my own servant. ACANTHIO And do I seem so unworthy of it? CHARINUS Oh no, quite worthy. ACANTHIO Well, so I thought. CHARINUS Prithee, is the ship lost? ACANTHIO The ship\u2019s all right; don\u2019t fear about that. CHARINUS Well then, the rest of the cargo? ACANTHIO That\u2019s right and tight. CHARINUS Why then don\u2019t you tell me what it is, for which, just now, running through the city, you were seeking me? ACANTHIO Really, you are taking the words out of my mouth. CHARINUS I\u2019ll hold my tongue. ACANTHIO Do hold your tongue. I doubt, if I brought you any good news, you\u2019d be dreadfully pressing, who are now insisting upon my speaking out, when you must hear bad news. CHARINUS Troth then, prithee do you let me know what this misfortune is. ACANTHIO Since you beg of me, I\u2019ll tell you. Your father\u2014 CHARINUS My father did what? ACANTHIO Your mistress\u2014 CHARINUS What about her? ACANTHIO He has seen her. CHARINUS Seen her? Ah wretch that I am! What I ask you, answer me. ACANTHIO Nay, but do you ask me, if you want anything. CHARINUS How could he see her? ACANTHIO With his eyes. CHARINUS In what way? ACANTHIO Wide open. CHARINUS Away hence and be hanged. You are trifling, when my life\u2019s at stake. ACANTHIO How the plague am I trifling, if I answer you what you ask me? CHARINUS Did he see her for certain? ACANTHIO Aye, troth, as certainly as I see you and you see me. CHARINUS Where did he see her? ACANTHIO Down on board the ship, as he stood near the prow and chatted with her. CHARINUS Father, you have undone me. Come now, you, come now, you sir? Why, you whip-rascal, didn\u2019t you take care that he mightn\u2019t see her? Why, villain, didn\u2019t you stow her away, that my father mightn\u2019t perceive her? ACANTHIO Because we were busily employed about our business; we were engaged in packing up and arranging the cargo. While these things were being done, your father was brought alongside in a very small boat; and not an individual beheld the man until he was aboard the ship. CHARINUS In vain have I escaped the sea with its dreadful tempests! Just now I really did suppose that I was both ashore and in a place of safety; but I see that by the raging waves I am being hurried towards the rocks. Say on; what took place? ACANTHIO After he espied the woman, he began to ask her to whom she belonged. CHARINUS What did she answer? ACANTHIO That instant I ran up and interposed, saying that you had bought her as a maid-servant for your mother. CHARINUS Did he seem to believe you in that? ACANTHIO Do you e\u2019en ask me that? Why the rogue began to take liberties with her. CHARINUS Prithee, what, with her? ACANTHIO \u2019Twere a wonder if he had taken liberties with myself. CHARINUS By heavens, my heart is saddened, which, drop by drop is melting away, just as though you were to put salt in water. I\u2019m undone. ACANTHIO Aye, aye, that one expression have you most truly uttered. CHARINUS This is mere folly. What shall I do? I do think my father won\u2019t believe me if I say that I bought her for my mother; and then, besides, it seems to me a shame that I should tell a lie to my parent. He\u2019ll neither believe, nor indeed is it credible, that I bought this woman of surpassing beauty as a maid-servant for my mother. ACANTHIO Won\u2019t you be quiet, you most silly man? Troth, he will believe it, for he just now believed me. CHARINUS I\u2019m dreadfully afraid that a suspicion will reach my father how the matter really stands. Prithee, answer me this that I ask you. ACANTHIO What do you ask? CHARINUS Did he seem to suspect that she was my mistress? ACANTHIO He did not seem. On the contrary, in everything, just as I said it, he believed me. CHARINUS As being true-as he seemed to yourself at least. ACANTHIO Not so; but he really did believe me. CHARINUS Ah! wretched man that I am! I\u2019m ruined! But why do I kill myself here with repining, and don\u2019t be off to the ship? Follow me. (Hastening along.) ACANTHIO If you go that way, you\u2019ll conveniently come slap upon your father. As soon as he shall see you, dismayed and out of spirits, at once he\u2019ll be stopping you, and enquiring where you bought her, and for how much you bought her; he\u2019ll be trying you in your dismay. CHARINUS (turning about.) I\u2019ll go this way in preference. Do you think that by this my father has left the harbour? ACANTHIO Why, it was for that reason I ran before him hither, that he mightn\u2019t come upon you unawares and fish it out of you. CHARINUS Very properly done. (Exeunt.) (Enter DEMIPHO.) DEMIPHO (to himself.) In wondrous ways In wondrous ways: These lines occur also in the Rudens, l. 593. do the Gods make sport of men, and in wondrous fashions do they send dreams in sleep. As, for instance, I, this very last night that has passed, have sufficiently experienced in my sleep, and, mortal that I am, was much occupied therewith. I seemed to have purchased for myself a beautiful she-goat. That she might not offend that other she-goat which I had at home before, and that they mightn\u2019t disagree if they were both in the same spot, after that I had purchased her, I seemed to entrust her to the charge of an ape. This ape, not very long afterwards, came to me, uttered imprecations against me, and assailed me with reproaches; he said that by her means and through the arrival of the she-goat he had suffered injury and loss in no slight degree; he said that the she-goat, which I had entrusted to him to keep, had gnawed away the marriage-portion of his wife. This seemed extremely wonderful to me, how that this single she-goat could possibly have gnawed away Could possibly have gnawed away: There is a poor play on words. here with reference to una; how one goat could ambadederit, gnaw away, or doubly eat (literally speaking) the dowry\u2014that is, how one goat could do the work of two. the marriage-portion of the wife of the ape. The ape, however, insisted that it was so, and, in short, gave me this answer, that if I didn\u2019t make haste and remove her away from his own house, he would bring her home into my house to my wife. And, by my troth, I seemed very greatly to take an interest in her, but not to have any one to whom to entrust this she-goat; wherefore the more, in my distress, was I tormented with anxiety what to do. Meanwhile, a kid appeared to address me, and began to tell me that he had carried off the she-goat from the ape, and began to laugh at me. But I began to lament and complain that she was carried off. To what reality I am to suppose that this vision points, I can\u2019t discover; except that I suspect that I have just now discovered this she-goat, what she is, or what it all means. This morning, at daybreak, I went away hence down to the harbour. After I had transacted there what I wanted, suddenly I espied the ship from Rhodes, in which my son arrived here yesterday. I had an inclination, I know not why, to visit it; I went on board a boat, and put off to the ship; and there I beheld a woman of surpassing beauty, whom my son has brought as a maid-servant for his mother. After I had thus beheld her, I fell in love with her, not as men in their senses, but after the fashion in which madmen are wont. I\u2019 faith, in former times, in my youthful days, I fell in love, \u2019tis true; but after this fashion, according as I\u2019m now distracted, never. Now beyond a doubt, surely thus this matter stands; this is that she-goat. But what that ape and that kid mean, I\u2019m afraid. One thing, i\u2019 faith, I really do know for certain, that I\u2019m undone for love; (to the AUDIENCE) consider yourselves the other point, what a poor creature I am What a poor creature I am: This seems to be the real meaning of quanti siem; Gueudeville has adopted it; but there is considerable difference of opinion among the Commentators on the sense of the passage.. But I\u2019ll hold my tongue; lo! I see my neighbour; he\u2019s coming out of doors. (Stands aside.) (Enter LYSIMACHUS and a SERVANT with some rakes, from the house of the former.) LYSIMACHUS Really I will have this goat mutilated, that\u2019s giving us so much trouble at the farm. DEMIPHO (apart.) Neither this omen nor this augury pleases me; I\u2019m afraid that my wife will be just now mutilating me like the he-goat, and be acting the part of this same ape. LYSIMACHUS Do you go hence to my country-house, and take care and deliver personally into his own hands those rakes to the bailiff Pistus himself. Take care and tell my wife that I have business in the city, so that she mayn\u2019t expect me; for do you mention that I have three causes coming on for judgment to-day. Be off, and remember to say this. SERVANT Anything more? LYSIMACHUS That\u2019s enough. (Exit SERVANT.) DEMIPHO (Stepping forward.) Greetings to you, Lysimachus. LYSIMACHUS Well met! and greetings to you, Demipho. How are you? How goes it? DEMIPHO As with one that\u2019s most wretched As with one that\u2019s most wretched: Quod miserrimus Literally what a very wretched person does.. LYSIMACHUS May the Gods grant better things. DEMIPHO As for the Gods, it\u2019s they that do this. LYSIMACHUS What\u2019s the matter? DEMIPHO I\u2019d tell you, if I saw that you had time or leisure. LYSIMACHUS Although I have business in hand, if you wish for anything, Demipho, I\u2019m never too busy to give attention to a friend. DEMIPHO You speak of your kindness to myself who have experienced it. How do I seem to you as to age? LYSIMACHUS A subject for Acheron\u2014an antiquated, decrepit old fellow. DEMIPHO You see in a wrong light. I am a child, Lysimachus, of seven years old. LYSIMACHUS Are you in your senses, to say that you are a child? DEMIPHO I\u2019m telling what\u2019s true. LYSIMACHUS I\u2019 faith, it has this moment come into my mind what you mean to say; directly a person is old, no longer has he sense or taste; people say that he has become a child again. DEMIPHO Why, no; for I\u2019m twice as hearty as ever I was before. LYSIMACHUS I\u2019 faith, it\u2019s well that so it is, and I\u2019m glad of it. DEMIPHO Aye, and if you did but know; with my eyes, too, I see even better now than I did formerly. LYSIMACHUS That\u2019s good. DEMIPHO Of a thing that\u2019s bad, I\u2019m speaking. LYSIMACHUS Then that same is not good. DEMIPHO But, if I wished at all, could I venture to disclose something to you? LYSIMACHUS Boldly. DEMIPHO Give heed, then. LYSIMACHUS It shall be carefully done. DEMIPHO This day, Lysimachus, I\u2019ve begun to go to school to learn my letters. I know three letters already. LYSIMACHUS How? Three letters? DEMIPHO (spelling.) A M O [I am in love]. LYSIMACHUS What! you, in love, with your hoary head, you most shocking old fellow? DEMIPHO Whether that is hoary, or whether red, or whether black, I\u2019m in love. LYSIMACHUS You\u2019re now playing upon me in this, I fancy, Demipho. DEMIPHO Cut my throat, if it\u2019s false, what I\u2019m saying. That you may be sure I\u2019m in love, take a knife, and do you cut off either my finger, or my ear, or my nose, or my lip: if I move me, or feel that I\u2019m being cut, then, Lysimachus, I give you leave to torture me to death here with being in love. LYSIMACHUS (aside to the AUDIENCE.) If ever you\u2019ve seen a lover in a picture, why, there he is (pointing at DEMIPHO): for really, in my way of thinking, an antiquated, decrepit old man is just about the same as though he were a figure painted upon a wall. DEMIPHO Now, I suppose, you are thinking of censuring me. LYSIMACHUS What, I, censure you? DEMIPHO Well, there\u2019s no reason that you should censure me. Other distinguished men have done the like before. It\u2019s natural to be in love, it\u2019s natural, as well, to be considerate. Then, please, don\u2019t reprove me; no inclination impelled me to this. LYSIMACHUS Why, I\u2019m not reproving you. DEMIPHO But still, don\u2019t you think any the worse of me for acting thus. LYSIMACHUS I, think the worse of you? O, may the Deities forbid it. DEMIPHO Still, please, only do take care of that. LYSIMACHUS Due care is taken. DEMIPHO Quite sure? LYSIMACHUS You\u2019re wearing me out. (Aside.) This person\u2019s deranged through love. (To DEMIPHO.) Do you desire aught with me? DEMIPHO Farewell! LYSIMACHUS I\u2019m making haste to the harbour; for I\u2019ve got business there. DEMIPHO Good luck go with you. LYSIMACHUS Heartily fare you well. DEMIPHO Kindly fare you well.(Exit LYSIMACHUS.) (DEMIPHO continues, to himself.) And what\u2019s more, I too as well have got some business at the harbour; now, therefore, I shall be off thither. But, look! most opportunely I see my son. I\u2019ll wait for the fellow; it\u2019s necessary for me now to see him, to persuade him, as far as I possibly can, to sell her to me, and not make a present of her to his mother; for I\u2019ve heard that he has brought her as a present for her. But I have need of precaution, that he mayn\u2019t any way imagine that I have set my fancy upon her. (Enter CHARINUS, at a distance.) CHARINUS (to himself.) Never, I do think, was any person more wretched than myself, nor one who had more everlasting crosses. Isn\u2019t it the fact, that whatever thing there is that I have commenced to attempt, it cannot fall out to my wish according as I desire? To such an extent is some evil fortune always befalling me, which overwhelms my fair intentions. To my misfortune, I procured me a mistress to please my inclination; I acquired her for a sum of money, fancying that I could keep her unknown to my father. He has found her out, and has seen her, and has undone me. Nor have I yet determined what to say when he asks me, so much do uncertain thoughts, aye, tenfold, struggle within my breast; nor know I now in my mind what resolution I can possibly take; so much uncertainty, mingled with anxiety, is there in my feelings, at one moment the advice of my servant pleases me, then again it doesn\u2019t please me, and it doesn\u2019t seem possible for my father to be induced to think that she was bought as a maid-servant for my mother. Now, if I say, as is the fact, and declare that I purchased her for myself, what will he think of me? He may take her away, too, and carry her hence beyond sea, to be sold! Well taught at home, I know how severe he is. Is this, then, being in love? I\u2019d rather be at the plough-tail Rather be at the plough-tail: Arare mavelim, quam sic amare. There is an insipid play upon the resemblance of the words arare, to plough, and amare to love. than love in this fashion. Before to-day, long ago, he drove me away against my inclination from his house, my home, and bade me go and traffic. There did I meet with this misfortune. When its misery can surpass its pleasure, what is there delightful in it? In vain I\u2019ve hidden her, concealed her, kept her in secret; my father\u2019s a very fly A very fly: The flies of those days seem to have been as annoying and inquisitive as those of modern times. Muscae was a term of reproach for Parasites and busybodies.; nothing can be kept away from him; nothing so sacred or so profane is there, but that he\u2019s there at once; neither have I any assured hope in my mind through which to feel confidence in my fortunes. DEMIPHO (apart.) What\u2019s the reason of this, that my son is talking to himself alone? He seems to me anxious about some matter, I know not what. CHARINUS (looking round.) Heyday, now! Why, surely it\u2019s my father here that I see. I\u2019ll go and accost him. (Accosting him.) How goes it, father? DEMIPHO Whence do you come? Why are you in a hurry, my son? CHARINUS It\u2019s all right, father. DEMIPHO So I trust; but what\u2019s the reason that your colour\u2019s so changed? Do you feel ill at all? CHARINUS I know not what it is affects my spirits, father; this last night I didn\u2019t rest quite as well as I wished. DEMIPHO As you\u2019ve been travelling by sea, your eyes, I suppose, are at present rather unaccustomed to the shore. CHARINUS No doubt it is that; but it will be going off presently. DEMIPHO Troth, it\u2019s for that reason you are pale; if you were prudent, you\u2019d go home and lie down. CHARINUS I haven\u2019t the leisure; I wish to attend to business on commission. DEMIPHO Attend to it to-morrow; the day after, attend to it. CHARINUS I\u2019ve often heard from you, father, it behoves all wise men, the first thing, to give their earliest attention to business upon commission. DEMIPHO Do so, then; I have no wish to be striving against your opinion. CHARINUS (aside.) I\u2019m all right, if, indeed, his adherence to that sentiment is immoveable and lasting. DEMIPHO (aside.) Why is it that he calls himself aside into counsel with himself? I\u2019m not afraid now lest he should be able to come to know that I\u2019m in love with her, because I\u2019ve not as yet done anything in a foolish manner, as people in love are wont to do. CHARINUS (aside.) I\u2019 faith, the affair for the present is really quite safe; for I\u2019m quite certain that he doesn\u2019t know anything about that mistress of mine; if he did know, his talk would have been different. DEMIPHO (aside.) Why don\u2019t I accost him about her? CHARINUS (aside.) Why don\u2019t I betake myself off hence? (Aloud.) I\u2019m going to deliver the commissions from my friends to their friends. (Moves as if going.) DEMIPHO Nay, but stop; I still want to make a few enquiries of you first. CHARINUS Say what it is you wish. DEMIPHO Have you all along been well? CHARINUS Quite well all the time, so long, indeed, as I was there; but as soon as I had arrived here in harbour, I don\u2019t know what faintness it was came over me. DEMIPHO I\u2019 faith, I suppose it arose from sea-sickness; but it will be going off just now. But how say you? What servant-maid is this that you have brought from Rhodes for your mother? CHARINUS I\u2019ve brought one. DEMIPHO Well, what sort of a woman is she as to appearance? CHARINUS Not an ill-favored one, i\u2019 faith. DEMIPHO How is she as to manners? CHARINUS In my way of thinking, I never saw one better. DEMIPHO So, indeed, i\u2019 faith, she seemed to me when I saw her. CHARINUS How now, have you seen her, father? DEMIPHO I have seen her; but she doesn\u2019t suit our ways, and so she doesn\u2019t please me. CHARINUS Why so? DEMIPHO Because she hasn\u2019t a figure suitable to our establishment; we stand in need of no female servant but one who can weave, grind, chop wood, make yarn, sweep out the house, stand a beating, and who can have every day\u2019s victuals cooked for the household. This one will be able to do not any single one of these things. CHARINUS Why, in fact, for this reason I purchased her, to make a present of her to my mother. DEMIPHO Don\u2019t you be giving her, nor mention that you have brought her. CHARINUS (aside.) The Deities favour me. DEMIPHO (aside.) I\u2019m shaking him by slow degrees. (Aloud.) But, what I omitted to say,\u2014she can neither with due propriety follow your mother as an attendant; nor will I allow it. CHARINUS But why? DEMIPHO Because, with those good looks, it would be scandalous if she were to be following a matron when she\u2019s walking through the streets; all people would be staring, gazing, nodding, winking, hissing, twitching, crying out, be annoying, and singing serenades at our door; my door, perhaps, would be filled with the charcoal marks With the charcoal marks: Colman, who translated this Play in Thornton\u2019s edition, has this Note here: Some consider these words as alluding to defamatory, rather than commendatory verses, alleging that praise was written in chalk, and scandal in coal. Ilia prius chart\u00e2, mox haec carbone. I have followed the opinion, however, of other Commentators, who suppose that in these cases chalk, or coal, or lighted torches, were used indiscriminately, according to the colour of the ground\u2014as a Poet would write a panegyric in black ink upon white paper, or a lover delineate the name of his mistress with the smoke of a candle on a white-washed ceiling. of her praises; and, according as persons are scandalizing at the present day, they might throw it in the teeth of my wife and myself, that we are carrying on the business of a Procurer. Now what occasion is there for this? CHARINUS Why, faith, you say what\u2019s just, and I agree with you. But what shall be done with her now? DEMIPHO Exactly; I\u2019ll buy for your mother some stout wench of a female slave, not a bad servant, but of ungainly figure, as befits the mistress of a family\u2014either a Syrian or an Egyptian woman: she shall do the grinding, spin out the yarn, and stand a lashing; and on her account no disgrace at all will be befalling our doors. CHARINUS What then if she is restored to the person of whom she was purchased? DEMIPHO By no means in the world. CHARINUS He said that he would take her back, if she didn\u2019t suit. DEMIPHO There\u2019s no need of that; I don\u2019t want you to get into litigation, nor yet your honor to be called in question. I\u2019 troth, I would much rather, if any must be endured, put up with the loss myself, than that disgrace or scandal on account of a woman should be brought upon my house. I think that I am able to sell for you at a good profit. CHARINUS I\u2019 faith, so long, indeed, as you don\u2019t be selling her at a less price than I bought her at, father. DEMIPHO Do you only hold your tongue; there is a certain old gentleman who commissioned me to buy one for him of just that same appearance. CHARINUS But, father, a certain young man commissioned me to buy one for him of just that same appearance that she is of. DEMIPHO I think that I am able to dispose of her for twenty minae. CHARINUS But, if I had chosen, there have been already seven-and-twenty minae offered. DEMIPHO But I\u2014 CHARINUS Nay, but I, I say\u2014 DEMIPHO But you don\u2019t know what I was going to say; do hold your tongue. I can add three minae even to that, so that there will be thirty. (Looks as though on one side at a distance.) CHARINUS What are you turning yourself towards? DEMIPHO Towards him who\u2019s making the purchase. CHARINUS (staring about.) Why, where in the world is this person? DEMIPHO Look there, I see him There, I see him: He says this by way of joking, just for the moment, in order to withdraw his son\u2019s notice from the manifest iniquity of which he is guilty., yonder (pointing); he\u2019s bidding me even still to add five minae. CHARINUS (aside.) By my troth, may the Gods send a curse upon him, whoever he is! DEMIPHO (looking in the distance.) There he is again, making a sign to me, even still, for me to add six minae. CHARINUS My man is bidding seven minae, for her, full weight, father. (Aside.) I\u2019 faith, he shall never this day outdo me. DEMIPHO He\u2019s bidding in vain; I will have her! CHARINUS But the other one made the first offer. DEMIPHO I care nothing for that. CHARINUS He bids fifty. DEMIPHO No, a hundred\u2019s the offer. Can\u2019t you desist from bidding against the determination of my mind. I\u2019 troth, you\u2019ll be having an immense profit, in such a way is this old gentleman for whom she\u2019s being purchased. He\u2019s not in his senses by reason of his love; whatever you ask, you\u2019ll get. CHARINUS I\u2019 faith, that young man, for whom I\u2019m purchasing, is assuredly dying with distraction for love of her. DEMIPHO Troth, very much more so is that old gentleman, if you did but know it. CHARINUS I\u2019 faith, that old man never was nor ever will be more distracted with love than that young man, father, to whom I\u2019m lending this assistance. DEMIPHO Do be quiet, I tell you; I\u2019ll see to that matter, that it\u2019s all right. CHARINUS How say you\u2014? DEMIPHO What is it? CHARINUS I didn\u2019t take her for a slave; but it was he that took her for such. DEMIPHO Let me alone. CHARINUS By law you cannot put her up for sale. DEMIPHO I\u2019ll somehow see to that. CHARINUS And then besides, she\u2019s the common property of myself and another person; how do I know how he\u2019s disposed, whether he does wish or doesn\u2019t wish to sell her? DEMIPHO I\u2019m sure he does wish. CHARINUS But, i\u2019 faith, I believe that there\u2019s a certain person who doesn\u2019t wish. DEMIPHO What matters that to me? CHARINUS Because it\u2019s right that he should have the disposal of his own property. DEMIPHO What is it you say? CHARINUS She is the common property of myself and another person; he isn\u2019t here at present. DEMIPHO You are answering me before I ask. CHARINUS You are buying, father, before I sell. I don\u2019t know, I say, whether he chooses to part with her or not. DEMIPHO But if she is purchased for that certain person who gave you the commission, will he choose it then? If I purchase her for that person who gave me the commission, will he then not choose it? You avail nothing. Never, on my faith, shall any person have her in preference to the person that I wish. That I\u2019m resolved upon. CHARINUS Have you made up your mind that it is resolved upon? DEMIPHO Why, I\u2019m going hence at once to the ship; there she shall be sold. CHARINUS Do you wish me to go there with you? DEMIPHO I don\u2019t wish you. CHARINUS You don\u2019t choose it, then. DEMIPHO It\u2019s better for you to give your earliest attention to the business which you\u2019ve been commissioned upon. CHARINUS You are hindering me from doing so. DEMIPHO Then do you make your excuse that you have used all diligence. Don\u2019t you go to the harbour, I tell you that now. CHARINUS That shall be attended to. DEMIPHO (aside.) I\u2019ll be off to the harbour, and (I have need of caution lest he should find it out) I\u2019ll not buy her myself, but commission my friend Lysimachus; he said just now that he was going to the harbour. I\u2019m delaying while I\u2019m standing here. (Exit.) (CHARINUS, alone.) CHARINUS (wringing his hands, and crying aloud.) I\u2019m lost\u2014I\u2019m undone. They say that the Bacchanals tore Pentheus to pieces Tore Pentheus to pieces: Pentheus, king of Thebes, was torn in pieces by his mother Agave, and the other Bacchanalian women, for obstructing their celebration of the orgies of Bacchus. See the Metamorphoses of Ovid, B. 3, l. 720.. I do believe that that was the merest trifle compared with the manner in which I am rent asunder in different ways. Why do I exist? Why don\u2019t I die? What good is there for me in life? I\u2019m determined, I\u2019ll go to a doctor To a doctor: Colman renders medicum, an apothecary; and remarks, that the passage may put the reader in mind of Shakspeare\u2019s Romeo in allusion to the passage commencing, I do know an apothecary, etc., and there I\u2019ll put myself to death by poison, since that is being taken from me for the sake of which I desire to remain in existence. (He is going off.) EUTYCHUS (Enter EUTYCHUS, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.) Stop, prithee, stop, Charinus. CHARINUS (turning.) Who is it, that calls me back? EUTYCHUS Eutychus, your friend and companion, your nearest neighbour as well. CHARINUS You don\u2019t know You don\u2019t know: The note of interrogation in Weise\u2019s edition at the end of these words seems out of place. what a vast weight of my woes I am enduring. EUTYCHUS I do know. I listened to it all at the door: I know the whole matter. CHARINUS What is it that you know? EUTYCHUS Your father wishes to sell\u2014 CHARINUS You have the whole matter. EUTYCHUS \u2014Your mistress\u2014 CHARINUS You know by far too much. EUTYCHUS \u2014Against your wish. CHARINUS You know everything. But how do you know that this woman is my mistress? EUTYCHUS You yourself told me yesterday. CHARINUS Isn\u2019t it the fact that I had quite forgotten that I told you yesterday? EUTYCHUS It\u2019s not surprising it is so. CHARINUS I now consult you. Answer me; by what death do you think that I should die in preference? EUTYCHUS Won\u2019t you hold your peace? Take you care how you say that. CHARINUS What then do you wish me to say? EUTYCHUS Should you like me to trick your father nicely? CHARINUS I really should like it. EUTYCHUS Should you like me to walk to the harbour\u2014 CHARINUS What, rather than that you should fly? EUTYCHUS And release the fair one for a sum. CHARINUS What, rather than you should pay her weight in gold? EUTYCHUS Whence is it to come? CHARINUS I\u2019ll entreat Achilles to lend me the gold with which Hector was ransomed EUTYCHUS Are you in your senses? CHARINUS I\u2019 faith, if I were in my senses, I shouldn\u2019t be seeking you for my physician. EUTYCHUS Do you wish her to be purchased for as high a price as he asks? CHARINUS Throw in something by way of surplus; even a thousand didrachms more than he shall demand. EUTYCHUS Now, do hold your peace. But what say you as to this? Whence will the money come, for you to give, when your father asks for it? CHARINUS It shall be found, it shall be sought out, something shall be done. EUTYCHUS You are worrying me to death. For I\u2019m afraid of that Something shall be done. CHARINUS Why won\u2019t you hold your tongue? EUTYCHUS You give your commands to one who is dumb. CHARINUS Is this matter sufficiently pointed out to you? EUTYCHUS Can\u2019t you possibly be attending to something else? CHARINUS It isn\u2019t possible. EUTYCHUS (going.) Kindly fare you well. CHARINUS I\u2019 faith, I cannot fare well, before you come back to me. EUTYCHUS To better purpose, recover your senses. CHARINUS Farewell, and prevail, and be my preserver. EUTYCHUS I\u2019ll do so. Wait for me at home. CHARINUS Do you take care, then, to betake yourself back just now with the booty. (Exit EUTYCHUS, and CHARINUS goes into DEMIPHO\u2019S house.) (Enter LYSIMACHUS, with PASICOMPSA, weeping.) LYSIMACHUS (to himself.) I\u2019ve lent my assistance to my friend in a friendly manner; this piece of goods, which my neighbour requested me, I\u2019ve purchased. (Turning to PASICOMPSA.) You are my own; then follow me. Don\u2019t weep. You are acting very foolishly; spoiling such eyes. Why, really you have more reason to laugh than to be crying. PASICOMPSA In the name of heaven, prithee, my good old gentleman, do tell me\u2014 LYSIMACHUS Ask me what you please. PASICOMPSA Why have you bought me? LYSIMACHUS What, I, bought you? For you to do what you are bidden; in like manner what you bid me, I\u2019ll do. PASICOMPSA I am determined, to the best of my ability and skill, to do what I shall think you desire. LYSIMACHUS I shall bid you do nothing of laborious work. PASICOMPSA Why, really, for my part, my good old gentleman, I haven\u2019t learnt, i\u2019 faith, to carry burdens, or to feed cattle at the farm, or to nurse children. LYSIMACHUS If you choose to be a good girl, it shall be well for you. PASICOMPSA Then, i\u2019 faith, to my sorrow, I\u2019m undone. LYSIMACHUS Why so? PASICOMPSA Because in the place from which I have been conveyed hither, it used to be well with the worthless Well with the worthless: She seems to mean that at Rhodes, where she has lately come from, women of light character are treated better than those who are virtuous.. LYSIMACHUS (aside.) By my troth, her talk alone is worth more than the sum that she was purchased at. (To PASICOMPSA.) As though you would say that no woman is good. PASICOMPSA Indeed I don\u2019t say so; nor is it my way, to say a thing which I believe all people are acquainted with. LYSIMACHUS I want to ask this one thing of you. PASICOMPSA I\u2019ll answer you when you ask. LYSIMACHUS What say you now? What am I to say your name is? PASICOMPSA Pasicompsa. LYSIMACHUS The name was given you from your good looks From your good looks: Coming from two Greek words, signifying all graces, or attractions.. But what say you, Pasicompsa? Can you, if occasion should arise, spin a fine woof? PASICOMPSA I can. LYSIMACHUS If you know how to do a fine one, I\u2019m sure you can spin a coarser one. PASICOMPSA For spinning, I fear no woman that\u2019s of the same age. LYSIMACHUS Upon my faith, I take it that you are good and industrious, since, young woman, now that you are grown up, you know how to do your duty. PASICOMPSA I\u2019 faith, I learned it from a skilful mistress. I won\u2019t let my work be called in question. LYSIMACHUS Well, thus the matter stands, i\u2019 faith. Look now, I\u2019ll give you a sheep for your own, one sixty years old. PASICOMPSA My good old gentleman, one so old as that? LYSIMACHUS It\u2019s of the Grecian breed. If you take care of it, it is a very good one; it is shorn very easily. PASICOMPSA For the sake of the compliment, whatever it is that shall be given me, I shall receive it with thanks. LYSIMACHUS Now, damsel, that you mayn\u2019t be mistaken, you are not mine; so don\u2019t think it. PASICOMPSA Prithee, tell me, then, whose I am? LYSIMACHUS You\u2019ve been bought back for your own master. I\u2019ve bought you back for him Back for him: She imagines all along that by the word master he means the young man Charinus; whereas Demipho is really intended.; he requested me to do so. PASICOMPSA My spirits have returned, if good faith is kept with me. LYSIMACHUS Be of good courage; this person will give you your liberty. I\u2019 troth, he did so dote upon you this day as soon as ever he had seen you. PASICOMPSA I\u2019 faith, it\u2019s now two years since he commenced his connexion with me. Now, as I\u2019m sure that you are a friend of his, I\u2019ll disclose it. LYSIMACHUS How say you? Is it now two years since he formed the connexion with you? PASICOMPSA Certainly, it is; and we agreed, on oath, between ourselves, I with him, and he with me, that I would never have intercourse with any man except himself, nor he with any woman except myself. LYSIMACHUS Immortal Gods! Isn\u2019t he even to sleep with his wife? PASICOMPSA Prithee, is he a married man? He neither is nor will he be. LYSIMACHUS Indeed, I wish he wasn\u2019t. I\u2019 faith, the fellow has been committing perjury. PASICOMPSA No young man do I more ardently love. LYSIMACHUS Why, really he\u2019s a child, you simpleton; for, in fact, it\u2019s not so very long a time since his teeth fell out. PASICOMPSA What? His teeth? LYSIMACHUS It\u2019s no matter? Follow me this way, please; he requested that I would find you room for one day in my house, since my wife is away in the country. (He goes into his house, followed by PASICOMPSA.) (Enter DEMIPHO.) DEMIPHO (to himself.) At last I\u2019ve managed to ruin myself; a mistress has been purchased for me without the knowledge of my wife and son. I\u2019m resolved on it; I\u2019ll have recourse again to former habits and enjoy myself. In my allotment of existence, almost now run through, the little that there remains of life, I\u2019ll cheer up with pleasure, wine, and love. For it\u2019s quite proper for this time of life to enjoy itself. When you are young, then, when the blood is fresh, it\u2019s right to devote your exertions to acquiring your fortune; and then when at last, you are an old man, you may set yourself at your ease; drink, and be amorous; this, the fact that you are living, is now so much profit. This, as I say, I\u2019ll carry out in deed. (Turning to his house.) Meanwhile, however, I\u2019ll take a look in-doors here at my house; my wife has been some time expecting me at home quite hungry: now, she\u2019ll be worrying me to death with her scolding, if I go in-doors. But, in fine, whatever comes of it, i\u2019 faith, I\u2019ll not go, but I\u2019ll first meet this neighbour of mine before I return home; I want him to hire some house for me, where this damsel may dwell. And, see, he\u2019s coming out of doors. (Enter LYSIMACHUS, from his house.) LYSIMACHUS (to PASICOMPSA, within.) I\u2019ll bring him to you directly, if I meet him. DEMIPHO (behind.) He\u2019s meaning me. LYSIMACHUS (turning about.) How say you, Demipho? DEMIPHO Is the damsel at your house? LYSIMACHUS What do you suppose? DEMIPHO What if I go see her? (Moves towards the house.) LYSIMACHUS Why making such haste? Stay. DEMIPHO What am I to do? LYSIMACHUS What you ought to do; take care and consider. DEMIPHO Consider what? Why troth, for my own part, I think there\u2019s need for my doing this, going in-doors there, I mean. LYSIMACHUS What, is it so, you old wether? Would you be going in? DEMIPHO What should I do else? LYSIMACHUS First listen to this, and attend; there\u2019s something even before this that I think it proper you should do. For if you now go in-doors to her, you\u2019ll be wishing to embrace her, chatting with her, and kissing her. DEMIPHO Really you know my feelings; you understand what I would be at. LYSIMACHUS You will be doing wrong. DEMIPHO What, with that which you love? LYSIMACHUS So much the less reason. Would you, full of hungriness, with a foul breath, a stinking old fellow, be kissing a woman? And wouldn\u2019t you, as you approached, be setting a female vomiting? DEMIPHO I\u2019 faith, I\u2019m sure that you\u2019re in love, as you point out these things beforehand to me. What then, if I give a dinner? If you approve of this, let\u2019s lay hold of some cook, who may be cooking away a meal Cooking away a meal: Prandium here does not mean the morning meal, similar to our breakfast, but a feast or banquet in general. here at your house, even until the evening. LYSIMACHUS Well, I\u2019m of that way of thinking. Now you are talking wisely, and like a lover. DEMIPHO Why are we standing here? Why then don\u2019t we be off and procure the provisions, that we may be comfortable? LYSIMACHUS For my part, I\u2019ll follow you. And, i\u2019 troth, you\u2019ll be finding out a lodging for her, if you are prudent; for, i\u2019 faith, she shan\u2019t be at my house a single day beyond the present; I\u2019m afraid of my wife, lest, if she should return from the country to-morrow, she\u2019ll be finding her here. (Exeunt.) (Enter CHARINUS, from DEMIPHO\u2019s house.) CHARINUS (to himself.) Am I not a wretched mortal, who can rest quietly nowhere? If I\u2019m at home, my mind\u2019s abroad; but if I\u2019m abroad, my mind\u2019s at home. To such a degree. has love kindled a flame in my breast and in my heart; did not the tears fall from my eyes, why then, I doubt, my head would be on fire. I cling to hope; safety I\u2019ve lost; whether she\u2019ll return or no, I know not. If my father seizes her, as he has said, then my welfare is gone in exile; but if my companion has done what he promised, then my welfare has not departed. But still, even if Eutychus had had gouty feet, he could have been back from the harbour by this. This is a very great fault of his, that he is too slow, against the wishes of my feelings. But (looking towards the side) isn\u2019t this he whom I espy running? \u2019Tis he himself; I\u2019ll go meet him. (Clasps his hands.) Thou who art the overlooker of Gods and of men and the mistress of mortals as well, inasmuch as thou hast indulged me in this hope that I entertained, I do return thee thanks. Does any hope remain? Alas! I\u2019m utterly undone. His countenance by no means pleases me! He moves along in sadness. My breast burns. I am in doubt. He shakes his head. Eutychus! (Enter EUTYCHUS.) EUTYCHUS Alas! Charinus. (He pants.) CHARINUS Before you take breath, in one word, speak out. Where am I? Here, or among the dead? EUTYCHUS You are neither among the dead nor here. CHARINUS I\u2019m saved, immortality has been vouchsafed me\u2014he has purchased her. He has nicely tricked my father. There\u2019s no one living more clever at gaining his purpose. Prithee, do tell me; if I\u2019m neither here nor at Acheron, where am I? EUTYCHUS Nowhere in the world. CHARINUS I\u2019m utterly undone! That speech has just put an end to me here. Whatever it is, do come to the material points of the matter. EUTYCHUS First of all, we are ruined. CHARINUS But why don\u2019t you in preference tell me that which I don\u2019t know? It is an annoying way of speaking, when you should despatch the business, to be beating about the bush To be beating about the bush: Longinquum loqui; literally to be talking at a distance.. EUTYCHUS The damsel has been taken away from you. CHARINUS Eutychus, you are guilty of a capital offence. EUTYCHUS How so? CHARINUS Because you are killing your year\u2019s-mate and friend, a free citizen. EUTYCHUS May the Gods forbid it! CHARINUS You\u2019ve thrust a sword into my throat; this moment I shall fall. EUTYCHUS Troth now, prithee, don\u2019t be desponding in mind. CHARINUS I have none to be desponding in. Tell on, then, the rest of your bad news; for whom has she been purchased? EUTYCHUS I don\u2019t know. She had been already knocked down to the bidder and taken off by him, when I got to the harbour. CHARINUS Ah me! Already, indeed, have you heaped burning mountains of woe upon me. Proceed, executioner, torment me on, since you have once begun. EUTYCHUS This is not more a cause of anguish to yourself, than it has proved to me this day. CHARINUS Tell me, who bought her? EUTYCHUS I\u2019 faith, I do not know. CHARINUS Well, is this a good friend giving one his aid? EUTYCHUS What would you have me do? CHARINUS The same that you see me doing, die with grief. But did you make enquiry, what was the appearance of the person that had bought her? Perhaps the damsel might have been traced out by that means. EUTYCHUS Ah! wretch that I am\u2014 CHARINUS Do cease lamenting; attend to that which you are now about. EUTYCHUS What have I done? CHARINUS Proved the destruction of myself, and with myself of your own word. EUTYCHUS The Gods know that that is not any fault of mine. CHARINUS A fine thing, indeed! You mention the Gods, who are absent, as witnesses; how am I to believe you in that? EUTYCHUS Why, it rests with your own self what to believe; with myself, what to say, that rests with me. CHARINUS On that point you are ready, so as to give answer like for like; but as to what you are requested, you are lame, blind, dumb, defective, and weak. You promised that you would trick my father; I myself supposed that I was entrusting the matter to a skilful person, and I entrusted it to an utter stone. EUTYCHUS What could I do? CHARINUS What could you do, do you ask me? You should have enquired, and asked who he was or whence he was, of what lineage; whether he was a citizen or a foreigner\u2014 EUTYCHUS They said that he was a citizen of Attica. CHARINUS At least, you should have found out where he lives, if you couldn\u2019t the name. EUTYCHUS No person was able to say he knew. CHARINUS But at least you should have enquired what was the appearance of the man. EUTYCHUS I did do so. CHARINUS Of what figure, then, did they say he was? EUTYCHUS I\u2019ll tell you: grey-headed, bandy-legged, pot-bellied, wide-mouthed, of stunted figure, with darkish eyes, lank jaws, splay-footed rather. CHARINUS You are mentioning to me not a human being, but a whole storehouse, I don\u2019t know what, of deformities. Is there anything else that you can tell about him? EUTYCHUS It is just as much as I know. CHARINUS I\u2019 troth, for sure, with his lank jaws he has caused my jaw to drop He has caused my jaw to drop: Literally, he has given me a great evil. He puns upon the resemblance of the words malum, an evil, and mala, the jaw.. I cannot endure it; I\u2019m determined that I\u2019ll go hence in exile. But what state in especial to repair to, I\u2019m in doubt; Megara, Eretria, Corinth, Chalcis, Crete, Cyprus, Sicyon, Cnidos, Zacynthus, Lesbos, or B\u0153otia. EUTYCHUS Why are you adopting that design? CHARINUS Why, because love is tormenting me. EUTYCHUS What say you as to this? Suppose, if when you have arrived there, whither you are now intending to go, you begin there to fall desperately in love, and there, too, you fail of success, then you\u2019ll be taking flight from there as well, and after that, again, from another place, if the same shall happen, what bounds, pray, will be set to your exile, what limits to your flight? What country or home can possibly be certain for you? Tell me that. Say now, if you leave this city, do you fancy that you\u2019ll leave your love here behind? If it is so fully taken as certain in your mind that so it will be, if you hold that as a point resolved upon, how much better is it for you to go away somewhere in the country, to be there, to live there, until the time when desire for her and passion have set you at liberty? CHARINUS Have you now said your say? EUTYCHUS I have said it. CHARINUS You have said it to no purpose; this is my full determination. I\u2019ll be off home, to pay my duty to my father and my mother; after that, unknown to my father, I\u2019ll fly from this country, or adopt some other plan. (Goes into DEMIPHO\u2019S house, leaving EUTYCHUS alone) EUTYCHUS (to himself.) How suddenly he has taken himself off and gone away. Ah! wretch that I am! if he goes away, all will say that it has happened through my remissness. I\u2019m determined at once to order as many criers as possible to be hired to search for her to find her; after that, I\u2019ll go to the Praetor forthwith, and beg him to give me search-warrant officers in all the quarters of the city; for I find that nothing else whatever is now left for me to do. (Exit.) (Enter DORIPPA.) DORIPPA (to herself.) Since a messenger came to me in the country from my husband, that he couldn\u2019t come into the country, I made up my mind, and came back to follow after him who fled from me. But (looking round) I don\u2019t see our old woman Syra following. Aye, look, there she comes at last. (Enter SYRA with a bundle of green sprigs.) Why don\u2019t you go quicker? SYRA By my troth, I cannot; so great is this burden that I\u2019m carrying. DORIPPA What burden? SYRA Fourscore years and four, and to that are added servitude, sweat, and thirst; these things as well which I am carrying weigh me down. DORIPPA Give me something, Syra, with which to decorate this altar of our neighbour Altar of our neighbour: She alludes to Apollo Prostatorus: an altar or statue to whom was placed near the doors of most of the houses Athens; see the Notes to the Bacchides.. SYRA (holding out a sprig.) Present this sprig of laurel, then. DORIPPA Now do you go into the house.Part of the first part of line 677 in the Latin. SYRA I\u2019m going. (Goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS.) DORIPPA (laying the sprig on the altar.) Apollo, I pray thee that thou wilt propitiously grant peace, safety, and health, unto our household, and that in thy propitiousness thou wilt show favour to my son. (rushes out of the house, clapping her hands.) SYRA I\u2019m utterly undone! Wretch that I am, I\u2019m ruined! Ah! wretched me! DORIPPA Prithee, are you quite in your senses? What are you howling for? SYRA Dorippa, my dear Dorippa! DORIPPA Prithee, why are you crying out? SYRA Some woman, I know not who, is here in-doors in the house. DORIPPA What? A woman? SYRA A harlot woman. DORIPPA Is it so, really? SYRA In serious truth. You know how to act very prudently, in not remaining in the country. A fool even could have found it out that she was the mistress of your very pretty husband. DORIPPA By heavens, I believe it. SYRA (taking her arm.) Step this way with me, that you, my Juno, may see as well your rival Alcmena. DORIPPA I\u2019 troth, I certainly shall go there, as fast as I can. (They go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.) (Enter LYSIMACHUS.) LYSIMACHUS (to himself.) Is this too little of a misfortune that Demipho\u2019s in love, that he must be extravagant as well? If he had been inviting ten men of highest rank to dinner, he has provided too much. But the cooks he directed in such a way just as at sea the time-keeper The time-keeper: The time was given to the rowers by the pausarius, who is here called hortator. The directions he gave were called celeusma, from the Greek \u03ba\u03b5\u03bb\u03b5\u1f7b\u03c9, to order. Lysimachus probably means that Demipho has hired whole ranks of them is wont to direct the rowers. I hired a Cook myself, but I\u2019m surprised that he hasn\u2019t come as I directed him. But who\u2019s this, I wonder, that\u2019s coming out of my house? The door\u2019s opening. (He stands aside.) (Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.) DORIPPA (weeping.) No woman ever will be, or ever has been, more wretched than myself in being married to such a husband. Alas! unhappy that I am! Just see, to what a husband have you committed yourself and the property you have! Just see, to what a person I brought ten talents for a portion; that I should see these things, that I should endure these insults. LYSIMACHUS (behind.) I\u2019 troth, I\u2019m undone; my wife\u2019s returned from the country already. I do believe she has seen the damsel in the house. But what she says I cannot distinctly hear from hence; I\u2019ll go nearer to her. (Approaches her.) DORIPPA Ah! woe to wretched me! LYSIMACHUS (behind.) Aye, and to me as well. DORIPPA I\u2019m utterly undone! LYSIMACHUS (behind.) As for me, i\u2019 faith, to my sorrow I\u2019m downright undone! she has seen her. May all the Gods confound you, Demipho! DORIPPA I\u2019 troth, this was it, why my husband wouldn\u2019t go into the country. LYSIMACHUS (behind.) What shall I do now, but go up and speak to her? (Goes up to her.) The husband bids health to his wife. Are the country people Are the country people: There has been much discussion as to the meaning of this passage; it seems, however, pretty clear that it is only an indirect way of asking Dorippa why she has so suddenly left the country for town. Colman thinks, with some of the older Commentators, that Dorippa pouts, and makes no return to her husband\u2019s salutation, on which he observes that the town gentry are grown as unmannerly as the country bumpkins. The context will admit of this explanation, but it seems rather far-fetched. becoming townsfolk? DORIPPA They are acting more decently than those who are not become country people. LYSIMACHUS Are the people in the country at all in fault? DORIPPA I\u2019 faith, less so than the townsfolk, and much less mischief do they meet with for themselves. LYSIMACHUS But in what have the townsfolk done wrong? Tell me that. DORIPPA Whose woman is that in the house? LYSIMACHUS What, have you seen her? DORIPPA I have seen her. LYSIMACHUS Whose is she, do you ask? DORIPPA I shall find out, in spite of you; i\u2019 faith, I long to know. But you are trying me on purpose. LYSIMACHUS Do you wish me to tell you whose she is? She, she\u2014 (Aside.) Ah me! upon my faith, I don\u2019t know what to say. DORIPPA Do you hesitate? LYSIMACHUS (aside.) I never saw one who did it more. DORIPPA But why don\u2019t you tell me? LYSIMACHUS Nay, but if I may\u2014 DORIPPA You ought to tell me. LYSIMACHUS I cannot, you hurry me so; you press me as though were guilty. DORIPPA (ironically.) I know you are free from all guilt. LYSIMACHUS Speak out as boldly as you please. DORIPPA Tell me, then. LYSIMACHUS I, tell you? DORIPPA Why, it must be told, in spite of everything. LYSIMACHUS She is\u2014 Do you wish me tell her name as well? DORIPPA You are trifling. I\u2019ve caught you in the fact; you are guilty. LYSIMACHUS Guilty of what? If now I had no occasion for silence, now I shouldn\u2019t tell you I shouldn\u2019t tell you: This he says, in his confusion, by mistake for I should tell you.. Why, this same woman is \u2014 DORIPPA Who is she? LYSIMACHUS She\u2014 DORIPPA Marry, come up! don\u2019t you know who she is? LYSIMACHUS Why, yes, I do know. I\u2019ve been chosen as an arbitrator with respect to her. DORIPPA An arbitrator? Now I know; you have invited her here to consult with you. LYSIMACHUS Why no; she has been given me as a deposit. DORIPPA (ironically.) I understand. LYSIMACHUS By my troth, it\u2019s not anything of that sort. DORIPPA You are clearing yourself too soon Clearing yourself too soon: Numero. Rost thinks that this means you have quite, or satisfactorily cleared yourself; Dorippa, of course, saying so in an ironical manner. She seems, however, rather to allude to his defending himself before he is accused. Lysimachus pretends that some persons have disputed the possession of Pasicompsa, and that she has been left in his hands by mutual consent, till he has given his decision.. LYSIMACHUS (aside.) Too much of a business have I met with; really I\u2019m stuck fast. (Enter a COOK, at a distance, with SCULLIONS and provisions.) A COOK. Make haste, get quickly on, for I\u2019ve got to cook a dinner for an old gentleman in love. And, in fact, when I think of it again, it\u2019s to be cooked for ourselves, not him for whom we\u2019ve been hired: for a person that\u2019s in love, if he has that with which he is in love, he esteems that as food, to see her, embrace her, kiss her, chat with her; but we, I trust, shall return well laden home. Step this way. But see, here\u2019s the old gentleman that hired us. LYSIMACHUS (aside.) Why, look! I\u2019m undone! here\u2019s the Cook. A COOK. (going up to LYSIMACHUS.) We are come. LYSIMACHUS Be off! A COOK. How, be off? LYSIMACHUS (in a low voice.) Hush! Be off! A COOK. What, I, be off? LYSIMACHUS Be off, I say. A COOK. Are you not going to have a dinner? LYSIMACHUS We are full already. DORIPPA But\u2014 LYSIMACHUS (aside.) I\u2019m utterly undone. DORIPPA What say you? Have those persons ordered these things to be brought to you as well, between whom you were appointed arbitrator? A COOK. Is this person (pointing to DORIPPA) your mistress, whom a little time since you told me you were in love with, when you were buying the provisions? LYSIMACHUS Won\u2019t you hold your tongue? A COOK. A very pretty figure of a woman! I\u2019 faith, she does love a sweetheart. LYSIMACHUS Won\u2019t you be off to perdition? A COOK. She\u2019s not amiss. LYSIMACHUS But you are amiss. A COOK. I\u2019 troth, I do fancy she\u2019s a nice bed-fellow. LYSIMACHUS Won\u2019t you be off? I\u2019m not the person that hired you just now. A COOK. How\u2019s that? Nay but, upon my faith, you are that very man. LYSIMACHUS (aside.) Alas wretch that I am! A COOK. Your wife\u2019s in the country, I suppose, whom you were saying a little time ago you hated full as much as vipers. LYSIMACHUS I, said that to you? A COOK. Aye, to me, upon my faith. LYSIMACHUS So may Jupiter love me, wife, I never did say that. DORIPPA Do you deny that as well? A COOK. (to DORIPPA.) He didn\u2019t say he hated you, but his wife. DORIPPA This is made clear, that you detest me. LYSIMACHUS But I deny it. A COOK. And he said that his wife was in the country. LYSIMACHUS (pointing to DORIPPA.) This is she. Why are you annoying me? A COOK. Because you say that you don\u2019t know me. Are you afraid of her? LYSIMACHUS I\u2019m wise in being so; for she\u2019s my only companion. A COOK. Do you wish to use my services? LYSIMACHUS I don\u2019t wish. A COOK. Give me my pay. LYSIMACHUS Ask for it to-morrow; it shall be given you; for the present, be off. (Aside.) Alas, wretch that I am! I now find that that old saying is a true one, that some bad comes through a bad neighbour. A COOK. (to the SCULLIONS.) Why are we standing here? LYSIMACHUS Why don\u2019t you be gone?Part of line 773 in the Latin. A COOK. (aside to LYSIMACHUS.) If any inconvenience happens to you, that\u2019s not my fault. LYSIMACHUS (aside to the COOK.) Why, you are utterly ruining wretched me A COOK. (aside to LYSIMACHUS.) I understand now what you want. You mean, you wish me to go away from here. LYSIMACHUS (aside to the COOK.) I do wish it, I say. A COOK. (aside to LYSIMACHUS.) I\u2019ll be off. Pay me a drachma. LYSIMACHUS (aside to the COOK.) It shall be paid. A COOK. (aside to LYSIMACHUS.) Then order it to be paid me, please. It can be paid in the meantime, while they are putting down the provisions. LYSIMACHUS (aside to the COOK.) Why don\u2019t you be off? Can\u2019t you cease being troublesome? (Slips the money into his hand.) A COOK. (to the SCULLIONS.) Come, do you set down those provisions before the feet of that old gentleman. These baskets I\u2019ll order to be fetched from your house either by-and-by or else to-morrow. (To the SCULLIONS.) Do you follow me. (Exeunt, having set down the provisions.) LYSIMACHUS Perhaps you are surprised at that Cook, that he came and brought these things. I\u2019ll tell you why it is. DORIPPA I\u2019m not surprised if you do anything wrongful or criminal; and, by heavens, I\u2019ll not put up with it, that I am married thus unfortunately, and that harlots are brought into my house in this way. Syra, go ask my father, in my name, to come here directly together with you. SYRA I\u2019ll go. LYSIMACHUS Prithee, wife, you don\u2019t know what the matter is. In set form now will I make oath, that I have never had anything to do with her. (Exit SYRA.) What, is Syra gone now? By heaven, I\u2019m undone! (DORIPPA goes into the house.) (to himself.) But, see, she\u2019s off as well! Woe to wretched me! Then, neighbour Demipho, may the Gods and Goddesses confound you, together with your mistress and your intriguings! He has most unjustly loaded me with suspicions; he has stirred up enemies against me. At home my wife is most infuriated. I\u2019ll be off to the Forum, and tell this to Demipho, that I\u2019ll drag this woman by the hair into the street, unless he takes her hence out of this house wherever he chooses. (Goes to the door and calls.) Hark you! wife, wife! although you\u2019re angry at me, you\u2019ll order, if you are wise, these things to be carried hence indoors. We shall be able by-and-by to dine all the better upon the same. (Enter SYRA and EUTYCHUS, at a distance, on opposite sides.) SYRA (to herself.) Whither my mistress sent me, to her father \u2014, he\u2019s not at home; they said that he has gone off into the country. Now, I\u2019ll take home this answer. I\u2019 faith, the women do live upon hard terms, and, wretched creatures, on much more unjust ones than the men. For if a husband has been keeping a mistress without the knowledge of his wife, if the wife comes to know it, the husband gets off with impunity; if, unknown to the husband, the wife goes from the house out of doors, a pretext arises for the husband, the marriage is dissolved The marriage is dissolved: She alludes to the facility with which at Rome, where the Play was performed, wives were divorced on the merest suspicion of infidelity.. I wish the law was the same for the husband as for the wife; for the wife that is a good one, is content with one husband; why, any the less, should the husband be content with one wife? By my troth, I\u2019d give cause, if men were punished in the same way (if any one should be keeping a mistress unknown to his wife), as those women are repudiated who are guilty of a slip, that there should be more divorced men than there are women now. EUTYCHUS (to himself, apart.) I\u2019m quite tired with hunting the whole city through; I find nothing whatever about this woman. But my mother has returned from the country; for I see Syra standing before the house. Syra! SYRA Who is it that\u2019s calling me? EUTYCHUS \u2019Tis I, your master and foster-child. SYRA (turning round.) Save you, my foster-child. EUTYCHUS Has my mother returned from the country then? Answer me. SYRA Aye, for her own especial sake and that of the family. EUTYCHUS What is it that\u2019s the matter? SYRA That very pretty father of yours has brought a mistress into the house. EUTYCHUS How say you? SYRA Your mother, on arriving from the country, found her at home. EUTYCHUS By my troth, I didn\u2019t think my father was a person for those practices. Is the woman now even still in-doors? SYRA Even still. EUTYCHUS Do you follow me. (He goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS.) SYRA (to herself.) How now How now?: From the commencement of this line to the end of the act is generally considered to be spurious; probably it is the work of some zealous critic of the middle ages, who fondly thought to improve the Play as it stood. He introduces Peristrata as complaining of the conduct of her husband, in depriving her son of his mistress, but never suspecting what is the true state of the case; an opportunity for a Comic dilemma, which Plautus himself, had he intended to introduce the character, would probably not have neglected.? Do I see Peristrata here, the wife of Demipho? She quickens her pace; she glances about with her eyes; she turns herself round; she inclines her neck on one side. I\u2019ll observe from here what matter she\u2019s about; it\u2019s something of importance, whatever scent she\u2019s upon. (Stands aside.) (Enter PERISTRATA and LYCISSA, from the house of DEMIPHO.) PERISTRATA The Goddess Astarte The Goddess Astarte: Astarte. The author seems to allude to Venus under this name. Cicero tells us that Astarte was the Syrian Venus. This soliloquy of Peristrata is very obscure and confused, and couched in most crabbed language, but her intention seems to be to descant upon the supreme sway of love. is the might of mortals and of the Gods, their life, their health; she, the same, who is likewise their death, destruction, downfall, the seas, the earth, the heaven, and the stars. Whatever Temples of Jove we inhabit, they are guided by her nod; her do they obey; to her do they pay regard; what displeases her, the other Deities do quickly put aside. Whatever pleases her, that, all things, which live and have sense, do pursue. Some she tortures, destroys; others, with her own milk does she nourish and raise aloft; but those whom she tortures, they live and enjoy their senses; those whom she hastens to rear and raise aloft, these last indeed do perish forthwith, and to their sorrow use their senses. Then, well-wishers, they lie prostrate, objects of dislike they bite the ground, grovel upon their faces, roar out, and make a riot; and when they think they live, then in especial do they rush on to ruin, then, then do they show eagerness in the pursuit of the object beloved; young men stumble, aged men likewise are led away. They love themselves; the object which they love, they wish to be loved and known. But if at that age they begin to fall in love, much more grievous is their madness. But if they do not love, then they hate, they are morose, too, and wayward; tattlers, haters, ill-disposed, passionate, envious for themselves and theirs. What they have formerly been shamelessly guilty of themselves, if it is done in a more quiet way, fathers do not tolerate as they ought to do; but they proclaim it, and indecently cry it out aloud. SYRA (apart.) So far as I understand, Demipho is treating this lady badly too. PERISTRATA This is the truth. My son is in love and is dying; when his father came to know of it, he was enraged beyond bounds. What insanity is this? This same husband of mine at one time packed my son off to Rhodes to traffic; now, according to the news Acanthio brings, he\u2019ll be betaking himself into banishment. O unjust father! O unfortunate son! whither will you betake yourself? Where will you leave your mother? Shall I pass my life bereft? Shall I lose my son? I will not endure it. Has his father sold her? Wherever she shall be found, the mother will redeem her. Do you tell me, Lycissa, do they suppose that she was brought into this neighbourhood? LYCISSA (pointing to the house of LYSIMACHUS.) To that, I fancy; to the house of a certain old gentleman, a friend. PERISTRATA Here, there is no one that I know of besides Lysimachus. SYRA (apart.) They are mentioning Lysimachus. It\u2019s a wonder if the old fellows, who are neighbours, haven\u2019t been going halves in the same nest. PERISTRATA I\u2019ll go look for Dorippa, his wife. (The door of the house of LYSIMACHUS opens.) LYCISSA Why go look for her? Don\u2019t you see her? PERISTRATA Indeed, I do see her. Let\u2019s listen; she\u2019s muttering something in a passion, I know not what, to herself. (They stand aside.) (Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.) DORIPPA (to herself.) Syra hasn\u2019t come back, whom, poor wretch, it\u2019s now a long time since I sent to fetch my father; in her very slowness, she has either hardened into a stone, or she has stopped from swelling with the sting of a serpent. SYRA (apart.) I\u2019m undone; here\u2019s my mistress, she\u2019s looking after me. DORIPPA (continuing.) I cannot remain at home; my eyes cannot abide that pretty young harlot; I would have shut her out of doors, but my son Eutychus prevented me. Still, I shan\u2019t altogether believe the news he brings. LYCISSA (apart.) Do you hear, mistress? PERISTRATA (apart.) I hear; let her go on. LYCISSA (apart.) I\u2019ll let her. DORIPPA (to herself.) He says that she has come hither to our house for the sake of an old gentleman, a friend; that he has her for sale, so that he may withdraw her from his son, who\u2019s in love with her. This really is a falsehood, either in my husband or my son; the accounts differ. The husband says that she was given him as a deposit; but the son says that she\u2019s on sale. SYRA (apart.) I\u2019ll go meet her on a sudden, that she mayn\u2019t find out that I\u2019ve been loitering. DORIPPA In this matter I shan\u2019t believe my son, who\u2019s acting in compliance with his father; for, for him, like a regular cuckoo A regular cuckoo: Plautus, on more than one occasion, calls an adulterer by this epithet., has he determined to tell abundance of lies: for my own part I shall believe the Cook, in preference. But see, here\u2019s Syra. How the old witch does run. Syra! SYRA Who\u2019s calling me? (Stares around her.) DORIPPA The Gods send a plague upon you! SYRA Mistress, if you are wise, bestow this upon your rival and your husband in preference. DORIPPA For saying that, I\u2019m no longer angry with you. But where\u2019s your father? Why does he delay? Does gout hinder the man? SYRA He\u2019s lame with neither gout nor chalk-stones Nor chalk- stones: Articularius Literally, having a disease in the joints., whom his feet carry into the country. DORIPPA Not at home? SYRA No. DORIPPA Where then? SYRA They say he\u2019s in the country, and that it\u2019s uncertain whether he\u2019ll return to-day, he has such a large account with his bailiff. DORIPPA Everything is befalling me this day contrary to my wishes. I shan\u2019t live till the evening, unless I drive that hussy away from the house. (She turns to the door.) I\u2019m going home. LYCISSA (apart.) The mistress is going away. PERISTRATA (apart.) What, going away? Call her. LYCISSA (calling.) Dorippa! Dorippa! DORIPPA (turning round.) What nuisance is this? Who\u2019s calling me back? PERISTRATA I\u2019m not a nuisance, but a well-wisher; and it\u2019s your friend Peristrata addresses you. Prithee, do stay. DORIPPA Why, Peristrata\u2014i\u2019 faith, I didn\u2019t know you: dreadful vexation is tormenting and agitating me. PERISTRATA This I enquire about\u2014prithee don\u2019t deny me. I heard you just now; tell me what annoyance is troubling you. DORIPPA Peristrata, so may the Gods prosper your only son, do kindly lend me your attention; none could be given me more agreably: our ages are alike; together we grew up; we have husbands alike in age; with no one do I converse with greater pleasure. I\u2019m really annoyed with good reason. What now would your feelings be, if at this time of life your husband Demipho were to bring a mistress before your eyes? PERISTRATA Has he brought one? DORIPPA So it is. PERISTRATA She\u2019s at your house? DORIPPA At my house; aye, and cooks were hired; a banquet was being prepared, if my coming hadn\u2019t upset everything. Venus and Cupid are tormenting the wretched old fellow at an unseasonable time. PERISTRATA But these things are trifles, Dorippa. I wish that I wasn\u2019t more wretched. DORIPPA Trifles? PERISTRATA Really trifles. DORIPPA What worse could your husband do? PERISTRATA Aye, worse than worse. DORIPPA What is it? Prithee do say. As you to me, so I to you, let\u2019s give advice to each other what needs to be done, It\u2019s an old saying, that, he\u2019s truly wise who is wise at the risk of another. PERISTRATA Dorippa, I have an only son; do you know that? DORIPPA I do know it. PERISTRATA Him his father some time ago packed off from his own house to Rhodes. DORIPPA For what reason? PERISTRATA Because he was in love. DORIPPA For that very thing? PERISTRATA Yes, and the very same thing now as well\u2014inasmuch as he had brought a female slave here, his father coming to know of it, took her away, and put her up for sale. DORIPPA Aye, aye, I know it; my son told me the truth. I fancied she was the mistress of my husband. To whom was she entrusted? PERISTRATA To a certain old gentleman in this neighbourhood, his friend. I think that he has no other friend here except your husband. DORIPPA (aside.) It certainly is she. (To PERISTRATA.) What does your son? PERISTRATA He declares that he\u2019ll leave this city. DORIPPA The matter\u2019s in a safe position. What if he finds her? PERISTRATA I imagine he\u2019ll stay. DORIPPA Beyond expectation we are saved; don\u2019t doubt it; she\u2019s at my house. PERISTRATA At your house? It was she, I suppose, about whom I heard you talking just now. DORIPPA It was she. PERISTRATA O well done; I love you with reason; you\u2019ve restored me my son. Do let me see her. DORIPPA Let\u2019s go in-doors then. PERISTRATA Let\u2019s go. (Turning round.) Come here, Lycissa. Do you go tell these things to Acanthio. I\u2019ll go here to Dorippa\u2019s house.(Exit LYCISSA. DORIPPA, PERISTRATA, and SYRA go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.) (Enter CHARINUS, from the house of DEMIPHO, in a travelling habit.) CHARINUS (looking towards the door.) O higher and lower Higher and lower: According to some writers, the threshold was sacred to Vesta Tertullian mentions a Deity called Limentinus, or the God of the Threshold. portions of the threshold, now both of you farewell. This day for the last time do I raise this foot within my father\u2019s house. The ease, the enjoyment, the in-dwelling, the habitation of this house is henceforth for me cut off, destroyed, and alienated. I am undone! The household Gods of my parents, the Lar the father of the family Father of the family: The Lares seem to have been divided into two classes\u2014the private and the public Lares. The private, or familiares, were probably the same as the Penates, under another name. The public Lares were the urbani, presiding over the cities; rustici, over the country; compitales, over cross-roads; marini, over the sea., to you do I recommend, that you will kindly protect the possessions of my parents. I shall now seek other household Gods for myself, another Lar, another city, another state. The people of Attica I do detest; for where worse manners are on the increase every day, where, those who are friends, those who are faithless, you are not able, to distinguish, and where that is torn away from you, which especially pleases your taste, there, in fact, if a kingdom were given one, that country is not desirable. (Stands aside in deep thought.) (Enter EUTYCUHS, from the house of LYSIMACHUS, at a distance.) EUTYCHUS (to himself.) Thou who art the overlooker of Gods and of men, and the mistress of mortals as well, inasmuch as thou hast indulged me in this hope that I entertained, I do return thee thanks. What Deity is there now that is joyous with gladness like mine? That was at home which I was in search of. There did I find six companions, life, friendship, my native land, festivity, mirth, and jollity. On finding these, at the same moment did I utterly destroy ten very bad things, wrath, hatred, folly, ruin, perverseness, grief, tears, exile, want, and loneliness. Ye Gods, I pray you grant me a speedy opportunity of meeting him. CHARINUS (to himself, not seeing EUTYCHUS.) I\u2019m ready prepared, as you see. Pride I cast aside; I\u2019m my own companion, attendant, horse, groom, esquire; I\u2019m my own master, I, too, obey myself; for my own self do I carry what I require. O Cupid! how powerful art thou. For easily dost thou render any one resolute through thy deeds, and then again, the same person diffident forthwith from being over bold. EUTYCHUS (to himself.) I\u2019m thinking which way to run in search of him. CHARINUS (continuing.) The matter\u2019s resolved upon, that I\u2019ll seek her everywhere, wherever in the world she has been carried off from hence; and neither shall any river stand in my way, nor mountain, nor the sea, indeed, nor heat, nor cold; I dread neither wind nor hail; the torrents of rain I\u2019ll submit to; labour, heat, and thirst, will I endure. I\u2019ll neither stop nor rest anywhere at night, or in the day, assuredly, before I shall have met with either my mistress or my death. EUTYCHUS (looking round.) Some voice, I know not who\u2019s, flew to my ear. CHARINUS (continuing.) You do I invoke, ye Lares of the roads Lares of the roads: He seems here to allude to the class of Lares who were usually called Compitales, and whose statues were erected at the cross-roads. Varro tells us that there were 265 stations for Lares at the corners of the streets of Rome., that you will kindly lend me aid. EUTYCHUS (seeing CHARINUS.) Jupiter! isn\u2019t that Charinus? CHARINUS (turning round.) Fellow-citizens, fare ye well. EUTYCHUS (aloud.) Charinus, stop, this instant. CHARINUS Who calls me back? EUTYCHUS Hope, Safety, Victory. CHARINUS What do you want with me? EUTYCHUS To go along with you. CHARINUS Look for another companion; these companions that have possession of me, will not part with me. EUTYCHUS Who are they? CHARINUS Care, misery, sickness, tears, and lamentation. EUTYCHUS Drive away those companions, and look this way and return. CHARINUS If indeed you wish to speak to me, do you follow. (Moves on.) EUTYCHUS Stop, this instant! CHARINUS You do amiss, in delaying me as I haste; the sun is setting. EUTYCHUS If you would make haste in this direction, just as you are hastening in that one, you\u2019d be doing more rightly; this way there is now a prospering gale, only tack about. Here is a fair Westerly breeze; there is a showery Southern blast. The one causes a calm; the other stirs up all the waves. Betake yourself towards the land, Charinus, in this direction. Don\u2019t you see right opposite? Black clouds and showers are coming on. Look now to the left, how full the heaven is of brightness. Don\u2019t you see right opposite? CHARINUS He has thrown religious scruples Thrown religious scruples: He considers the remark made by Eutychus as ominous, which it would be impious for him to disregard. in my way; I\u2019ll betake myself in that direction. (Turns towards EUTYCHUS.) EUTYCHUS You are wise. O Charinus, turn your steps, and turn your feet as well, in the opposite direction. Extend your arm. Catch hold of me. Do you hold me new? CHARINUS I\u2019m holding you. EUTYCHUS Hold on, then. Whither now were you going? CHARINUS Into banishment. EUTYCHUS What to do there? CHARINUS As a wretched person would. EUTYCHUS Don\u2019t fear; this instant shall I restore you to joyousness before you go away. CHARINUS I\u2019m going. (Moves.) EUTYCHUS A thing that you especially long to hear, the same shall you hear for you to rejoice at. Stay this instant; I\u2019m come as a friend, full of the kindest feelings. CHARINUS What is it? EUTYCHUS Your mistress\u2014 CHARINUS What of her? EUTYCHUS I know where she is. CHARINUS Prithee, do you? EUTYCHUS She\u2019s safe and sound. CHARINUS Where is she safe? EUTYCHUS I know where. CHARINUS I\u2019d much rather I did. EUTYCHUS Can\u2019t you possibly be calm in your feelings? CHARINUS What if my feelings are agitated? EUTYCHUS I\u2019ll bring them for you into a safe and tranquil state; don\u2019t you fear. CHARINUS Prithee do say where she is \u2014where you\u2019ve seen her. Why are you mute? Speak\u2014you are torturing to death wretched me by your silence. EUTYCHUS She isn\u2019t far from here. CHARINUS Why then don\u2019t you point her out, if you see her? EUTYCHUS I\u2019 faith, I don\u2019t see her at this moment; but I saw her just now. CHARINUS Why, then, don\u2019t you cause me to see her? EUTYCHUS I will cause it. CHARINUS That means a long time for one in love. EUTYCHUS Are you still in apprehension? I\u2019ll disclose it all. No person is there living more beloved by me than is he who has got her; nor is there one to whom it is right that I should be a better wisher. CHARINUS I don\u2019t care about that; I\u2019m looking for her. EUTYCHUS About her, then, I\u2019m telling you. Really, this has not come into my mind but this moment, to tell it you\u2014 CHARINUS Tell me, then, where she is. EUTYCHUS In our house. CHARINUS If you are telling the truth, a worthy house, and aptly built, I deem it. But how am I to credit that? Have you seen her; or do you speak from hearsay? EUTYCHUS I\u2019ve seen her myself. CHARINUS Who took her to your house? EUTYCHUS Why, you\u2019re asking an unfair question. What matters it to you with whom she came? CHARINUS So long as she\u2019s there\u2014 EUTYCHUS She certainly is. CHARINUS Then, for these tidings, do you wish whatever you please. EUTYCHUS What if I do wish? CHARINUS Pray to the Gods to bring its fulfilment. EUTYCHUS You are laughing at me. CHARINUS My fortunes, in fine, are redeemed, if I can see her. But why don\u2019t I lay aside this garb? (Goes to the door of DEMIPHO\u2019S house, and calls.) Hallo, somebody, come here this instant out of doors. Come out, and bring me thence a cloak this way. EUTYCHUS Well, now how much you do gratify me. CHARINUS (to a BOY who enters, bringing his cloak.) You boy, who have come with such speed, take my scarf (giving it), and now stand aside there; that, if these things are not true, I may hasten to go upon this intended journey. (To EUTYCHUS.) Are you telling the truth? EUTYCHUS Really, Charinus, you are not ashamed of anything. Don\u2019t you believe me? CHARINUS For my part, I really do believe everything that you tell me. But why don\u2019t you introduce me to her, that I may see her? EUTYCHUS Wait a little. CHARINUS Why am I to wait? EUTYCHUS It\u2019s not a convenient moment to go into the house. CHARINUS You are torturing me to death. EUTYCHUS There\u2019s no need, I tell you, for you to go into the house just now. CHARINUS Answer me-for what reason? EUTYCHUS She\u2019s not at leisure. CHARINUS Why so? EUTYCHUS Because it isn\u2019t convenient to her. CHARINUS Is it so? Not convenient to her who loves me, and whom I love in return? He\u2019s trifling with me in every way. I\u2019m too foolish to believe him. He\u2019s only delaying me. (Turns to the BOY.) I\u2019ll put on my scarf again. EUTYCHUS Stop a little, and listen to this. CHARINUS (taking off the cloak.) You boy, take this cloak Take this cloak: Though commonly rendered cloak, the pallium differed materially from that article of dress. It was a square piece of cloth, which came direct from the loom in that shape, and required no cutting out by the tailor. The pallia were mostly worn in an undyed state, consequently white, brown, and grey were the prevailing colours. They were sometimes dyed of crimson, purple, and saffron colour. Sometimes they were striped, like our plaids or checks. Flowers were sometimes interwoven, and occasionally with gold thread. Wool was the most common material. They were not only used for wearing, but for spreading over beds and couches, and covering the body during sleep. Sometimes they were used as carpets, and sometimes as awnings or curtains; and indeed the word as often means a blanket as a garment. When worn, the pallium was passed over the left shoulder, then drawn behind the back and under the right arm, leaving it bare, and then thrown again over the left shoulder See Dr. Smith\u2019s Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities., please. (Puts on the travelling scarf.) EUTYCHUS Really this hasn\u2019t come but this moment into my mind to tell it you. My mother\u2019s dreadfully angry with my father, because he has brought into the house a harlot before her very eyes, while she was away in the country. She suspects that she\u2019s his own mistress. CHARINUS (not attending to him.) I\u2019ve taken up my belt My belt: The zona, girdle or belt, would be employed by the traveller to tuck up his long clothing, for the sake of expedition; it was also used either as a purse or for the purpose of holding the purse. The traveller would require his sword for the purposes of safety, while the ampulla, or leather bottle, was to hold the oil with which the feet were anointed when galled with walking.. (Puts it on.) EUTYCHUS She\u2019s now enquiring into this matter in-doors. CHARINUS (inattentive.) Now my sword\u2019s in hand. (Taking it from the BOY.) EUTYCHUS But if I were now to introduce you? CHARINUS (inattentive.) I\u2019ll take my bottle, and be off from here. (Moves.) EUTYCHUS Stop, stop, Charinus! CHARINUS You are mistaken; you can\u2019t deceive me. EUTYCHUS And, i\u2019 faith, I have no wish. CHARINUS Why, then, don\u2019t you allow me to proceed upon my journey? EUTYCHUS I won\u2019t let you. CHARINUS I\u2019m delaying myself. Boy, do you this instant be off hence in-doors. (The BOY goes into the house.) Now I\u2019ve ascended the chariot; now I\u2019ve taken the reins in my hands. (Imitating the action of a charioteer.) EUTYCHUS You are not in your senses. CHARINUS Feet of mine, why don\u2019t ye betake yourselves into the chariot, straight for Cyprus, since my father determines on my banishment? EUTYCHUS You are silly. Prithee, don\u2019t be saying this. CHARINUS (as though to himself.) I\u2019m resolved to persist\u2014 to use my endeavours to seek her out where she is. EUTYCHUS Why, she\u2019s at our house. CHARINUS (as though to himself.) For what that person said, he told a falsehood in it. EUTYCHUS Really, I told you the truth. CHARINUS (continuing.) Now I\u2019ve come to Cyprus. EUTYCHUS Nay, but follow me, that you may see her whom you are looking for. (Moves towards his FATHER\u2019S house.) CHARINUS (pretending not to hear.) Enquiring there, I didn\u2019t find her. EUTYCHUS I\u2019ll not care then for my mother\u2019s anger. CHARINUS (still pretending.) I\u2019ll still go on to seek her. Now I\u2019ve got to Chalcis; I see there my former host at Zacynthus; I tell him why I\u2019ve come thither; I make enquiry if he has heard say who has brought her thither, who has got possession of her. EUTYCHUS Why don\u2019t you cease that nonsense, and step with me this way in-doors? CHARINUS (still pretending.) My host answered that figs grew, not bad ones, at Zacynthus. EUTYCHUS He didn\u2019t say false there. CHARINUS (continuing.) But he says that he has heard about my mistress, that she\u2019s here at Athens. EUTYCHUS Really, this Zacynthian is quite a Calchas Calchas: The soothsayer who attended the Grecian army to Troy.. CHARINUS (continuing.) I get aboard ship, and start at once. I\u2019m now at home; now I\u2019ve returned from banishment. My friend, Eutychus (turning towards him), greetings to you! How have you been? How are my parents? Are they well? Do you come to my mother, you say\u2014you invite me kindly; you speak politely. At your house to-morrow; for the present at home. So it is proper; so it ought to be done. EUTYCHUS How now? What are you dreaming about? This man\u2019s not in his senses. CHARINUS Why don\u2019t you, as a friend, make haste to cure me then? EUTYCHUS Follow me, please. CHARINUS (running close behind him.) I\u2019m following. EUTYCHUS (turning round.) Softly, pray; you are treading on my heels. Don\u2019t you hear me? CHARINUS I\u2019ve heard you for some time past. EUTYCHUS I want a reconciliation to be made between my father and mother; for now she\u2019s in a passion\u2014 CHARINUS (pushing him.) Only do go on. EUTYCHUS About that woman\u2014 CHARINUS (pushing him.) Only do go on. EUTYCHUS Therefore take care\u2014 CHARINUS (pushing him.) Nay, but do go on then; I\u2019ll make her as mild as Juno is when she\u2019s kind to Jupiter. (They go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.) Enter DEMIPHO and LYSIMACHUS.) LYSIMACHUS [DemiphoThis, and the next ten lines, are generally looked upon as spurious. They have probably been inserted by some busy interpolater, to supply what Plautus had intended us to suppose as having transpired between Demipho and Lysimachus before they enter., this saying of the wise, I think you have often heard, Pleasure is the bait for misfortune; because, by it, not less are men aught than are fishes with the hook Although aged people fly from it, still you don\u2019t pay that regard to your old age: since it hasn\u2019t even withdrawn love from you, but has forced you to it even more vehemently. Wherefore it utterly confounds yourself and your understanding and your mind, and dazzles your eyesight. Myself too have you brought into great trouble, and I know not what to do, DEMIPHO Lysimachus, this is the will of the Gods, not of men. If you reflect upon this with yourself, you will be of opinion that you are not doing right, in censuring so heavily a person your friend and the sharer of your secrets.] As though you yourself had never done anything like this action. LYSIMACHUS By heavens, never. I took care not to do anything: wretch that I am, I am scarcely alive; for my wife is lying all in a ferment about her. DEMIPHO But I\u2019ll undertake to clear you, so that she mayn\u2019t be angry. LYSIMACHUS Follow me\u2014but I see my son coming out. (Enter EYTUCHUS, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.) EUTYCHUS (as he comes out, to CHARINUS, within.) I\u2019ll go to my father, that he may know my mother\u2019s wrath is appeased. I\u2019ll return just now. LYSIMACHUS (to DEMIPHO.) The beginning pleases me. (Going up to EUTYCHUS.) What are you about? How goes it, Eutychus? EUTYCHUS Extremely opportunely have you both met me. LYSIMACHUS What\u2019s the matter? EUTYCHUS Your wife is peaceful and appeased. Give me your right hands this moment. (Shakes hands with them both.) LYSIMACHUS The Gods are favouring me. EUTYCHUS (to DEMIPHO.) I bring you word that you have got no mistress. DEMIPHO The Gods confound you. Why, prithee, what affair is this? EUTYCHUS I\u2019ll tell you. Give your attention then, both of you. LYSIMACHUS Well then, we are giving you our attention, both of us. EUTYCHUS Those who are born of a good family, if they are of bad tendencies, by their own faultiness withdraw nobleness from their rank, and disgrace their disposition. DEMIPHO He says what\u2019s true. LYSIMACHUS Then it\u2019s to yourself he says it. EUTYCHUS For this reason is this the more true; for at this time of life, it wasn\u2019t just for you to take away from your son, a young man, his mistress, purchased with his own money. DEMIPHO How say you? Is she the mistress of Charinus? EUTYCHUS (aside.) How the rogue does dissemble. DEMIPHO Why, he said that he had bought her as a maidservant for his mother. EUTYCHUS Was it for that reason, then, you bought her, you young lover, you old boy? LYSIMACHUS Very well said, i\u2019 troth! Proceed, proceed. I\u2019ll stand by him here on the other side. Let\u2019s both load him well with such speeches as he\u2019s worthy of. DEMIPHO (aside.) I\u2019m done for. EUTYCHUS Who has done an injustice so great to his blameless son; whom, in fact, upon my faith, I brought back home just when he was setting out in self-banishment; for he was going into exile. DEMIPHO Has he gone then? LYSIMACHUS What, do you speak, you hobgoblin? At this time of life you ought to abstain from those pursuits. DEMIPHO I confess it; undoubtedly I\u2019ve acted wrong. EUTYCHUS What, do you speak, you hobgoblin? You ought at this time of life to have done with these guilty practices. Just as the seasons of the year, so different lines of conduct befit different ages; but if this is proper, that old fellows should be wenching in their old age, where in the world is our common welfare? DEMIPHO Alas! wretch that I am! I\u2019m undone. EUTYCHUS The young men are more in the habit of giving their attention to following those pursuits. DEMIPHO Troth, now, prithee, do take her to yourselves, with pigs and with basket With pigs and with basket: Cum porcis, cum piscin\u00e2. This was probably a countrified expression, analogous to our phrases with bag and baggage, stump and rump.. EUTYCHUS Restore her to your son; let him have her, now, as he wishes. DEMIPHO So far as I\u2019m concerned, he may have her. EUTYCHUS High time, i\u2019 faith, since you haven\u2019t the power of doing otherwise. DEMIPHO For this injury let him take what satisfaction he likes; only do you make peace, I beg of you, that he mayn\u2019t be angry with me. I\u2019 faith, if I had known it, or if, indeed, he had told me in the slightest way of joke that he was in love with her, I should never have proceeded to take her away from him so in love. Enitychus, you are his companion, preserve and rescue me, I beg of you. Make this old fellow your client. You shall say that I\u2019m mindful of a kindness. LYSIMACHUS Entreat him that he\u2019ll pardon his offences and his youthful age And his youthful age: Of course this is said in a tone of keen and well-merited satire.. DEMIPHO Heyday now, are you still persisting in inveighing against me with your airs? I trust that a like opportunity will befall me as well for returning you a similar compliment. LYSIMACHUS I\u2019ve long made an end of those pursuits. DEMIPHO And really so shall I from this time forward. LYSIMACHUS Not a bit of it. Through usage your inclinations will be leading you to it again. DEMIPHO Prithee, do now be satisfied. Rather, scourge me with thongs even, if you like. LYSIMACHUS You say right. But that your wife will do, when she comes to know of this. DEMIPHO There\u2019s no need for her to come to know of it. EUTYCHUS What\u2019s that? She shan\u2019t come to know of it; don\u2019t be afraid. Let\u2019s go in-doors; this place isn\u2019t a suitable one for your practices, for there to be persons to overhear who are passing through the street, while we are talking. DEMIPHO Why, faith, you say what\u2019s right; that way the story will be shorter. Let\u2019s be off EUTYCHUS Your son is in-doors here at our house. DEMIPHO It\u2019s very good. We\u2019ll pass that way through the garden Through the garden: He means that he will be able to go home the back way, so that perhaps his wife may not see whence lie has come. This line shows that the houses of Lysimachus and Demipho are on the same side of the street, and not, as Cotter says, one on one side, the other on the other, with their doors opposite.\u2014It may be here remarked, that it is not improbable that a considerable portion of this Play has perished. home. LYSIMACHUS Eutychus, I want this affair to be settled before I set my foot again within doors. EUTYCHUS What is it? LYSIMACHUS Each person thinks about his own concerns. Answer me this: do you know for certain that your mother isn\u2019t angry with me? EUTYCHUS I do know it. LYSIMACHUS Take care. EUTYCHUS Trust me for it. Are you satisfied? LYSIMACHUS I am. But still, troth now, prithee, do take care. EUTYCHUS Don\u2019t you believe me? LYSIMACHUS Yes, I do believe you; but still I\u2019m dreadfully afraid. DEMIPHO Let\u2019s go in-doors. EUTYCHUS Aye, but I think we must pronounce. the law for the old men before we depart, on what terms they are to keep check upon themselves and to be continent. Whoever shall be sixty years of age, if we know of any one, whether husband or, i\u2019 faith, whether bachelor, in fact, who goes a wenching, upon these terms shall we deal with him; we shall deem him a fool. And, i\u2019 faith, so far as we\u2019re concerned, he shall be in want who has squandered away his property. And let no one hereafter forbid his youthful son to be in love and to keep a mistress, so it be done in a decent manner. If he shall forbid him, let him, unknown to himself, suffer more loss than if he had openly permitted him. Let this law, then, from this night forward, be binding upon the old men. (To the AUDIENCE.) Young men, kindly fare you well; and if this law, enacted for the sake of the old ones, pleases you, it is right that you should give us loud applause.","title":"Plautus, Mercator, or The Merchant (tr. Henry Thomas Riley)","tradition":"myth-cosmogony","translated_text":null,"word_count":19624}