{"collection":"scripture-revelation","full_text_available":true,"graph_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/api/page/wikisource_Vanity_of_pride_Matrimonial_deafness/graph","html_url":"https://unchartedknowledge.5gfusion.net/v2/page/wikisource_Vanity_of_pride_Matrimonial_deafness","id":"wikisource_Vanity_of_pride_Matrimonial_deafness","license":"Public Domain / CC-BY-SA (see source)","rights_basis":"wikisource_site_inclusion_policy","source":"wikisource","source_url":"https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Vanity_of_pride/Matrimonial_deafness","summary":null,"tags":["Chapbooks","Marriage","Scottish_poetry","Subpages","Works_using_categories_parameter","Works_with_reconstructed_words_or_phrases"],"text":"MATRIMONIAL DEAFNESS.\n\nTWO ears at a time are too many for use,\n\nas they're only the inlets of strife;\n\nAnd some may be found, who (tho' wife) would refuse,\n\nto possess these fair organs of life.\n\nThis deafness oft times of advantage is found,\n\nmisfortunes may turn to a blessing,\n\nWhen nonsense distracts, or when tumults abound,\n\nthey then lose their force of distressing.\n\nI wisely am taught to be deaf with one ear,\n\nwhile the other for use I employ,\n\nOne gate I shut up against trouble and care,\n\nand the other keep open for joy.\n\nWhen my Comfort begins her windpipe to clear,\n\nwith peals that would rend worlds asunder,\n\nSerenely I sit and cock up my deaf ear,\n\nunmov'd 'midst the roar of her thunder.\n\nT'other day comes a dun, with \"Sir, you well know,\"\n\n\"What say you? speak louder a little;\"\n\n\"You know, Sir, you borrow'd full 12 months ago\u2014\"\n\n\"Alas, friend! I can't hear a title.\"\n\n\"You owe me ten pounds,\" much louder he cries,\n\nand repeats it as loud as he can,\n\nThen I point to my ears, and stare with my eyes,\n\ntill he scarcely believes me the man.\n\nI, grave as a Don, cry \"My hearing's quite lost,\"\n\n\"And my money,\" says he, \"too I fear,\n\n\"Pox on him 'tis folly to talk to a post;\"\n\nSo he leaves me as mad as a hare.\n\nThus my life, night and day, in soft indolence flows,\n\nscolding, dunning, nor bawling I fear,\n\nYe marry'd men all then, that wish for repose,\n\nmind, and always be deaf with one ear.","title":"Vanity of pride/Matrimonial deafness","tradition":"scripture-revelation","translated_text":null,"word_count":266}