Dramatis Personae CURCULIO, the Parasite of Phaedromus. THERAPONTIGONUS, a Captain of . PHAEDROMUS, a young man in love with Planesium. PALINURUS,Servants of Phaedromus. COOK, LYCO, a Banker. CAPPADOX, a Procurer. THE CHOREGUS (or, Director of the Chorus). AN ACTOR. PLANESIUM, a young woman belonging to Cappadox. AN OLD WOMAN, a Procuress. (Scene—Epidaurus, in Peloponnesus; before the houses of PHAEDROMUS and CAPPADOX, and the Temple of Aesculapius.) THE SUBJECT. PHAEDROMUS is desperately in love with Planesium, who is in the possession of Cappadox, an avaricious Procurer. Not having the means of obtaining her freedom, Phaedromus sends Curculio, his Parasite, to Caria, to borrow the money from a friend. The friend being unable to lend it, Curculio by accident meets a military officer, named Therapontigonus, and is invited by him to dinner. The Captain accidentally mentions to him that he has agreed to purchase Planesium of the Procurer, and that the money is deposited with Lyco, the banker, who, has been ordered, on receiving a letter signed with the Captain’s signet, to have the young woman delivered to the bearer. While the Captain is overpowered with wine, Curculio steals his signet, and hastens back to Epidaurus, where he forges a letter by means of it, which he delivers to Lyco, as though from the Captain. The money is paid to the Procurer, and Planesium is handed over to Curculio; a condition having been previously made, that if she should turn out to be a free woman by birth, the money shall be repaid to the purchaser. Curculio then delivers Planesium to Phaedromus. The same day, the Captain arrives at Epidaurus, and is soon after recognized by Planesium as her brother, through the medium of the ring, which had belonged to her father. To corroborate her assertion, Planesium produces another ring, which Therapontigonus had presented to her when a child as a birthday present. On this, she is given by her brother in marriage to Phaedromus; and Cappadox, much against his will, is forced to refund the money to the Captain. THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.] On an errand of Phaedromus, Curculio (Curculio) goes to Caria, that (Ut) he may obtain some money; there he despoils the rival (Rivalem) of Phaedromus of his ring. He writes a letter, and seals it with that seal. Lyco, when he sees it, recognizes (Cognoscit) the seal of the Captain; that (Ut) he may send him his mistress, he pays the money to the Procurer. The Captain threatens to summon Lyco (Lyconem) and the Procurer to justice: he himself (Ipsus) discovers his sister that was lost, at whose request (Oratu) he gives her in marriage to Phaedromus. (Before daybreak.) Enter at one side of the stage PHAEDROMUS, with a lighted torch, and followed by SLAVES with wine and provisions for an entertainment, and PALINURUS on the opposite side.) PALINURUS Whither away must I say that you are going out of doors at this time o’ night, Phaedromus, with that dress and with this train And with this train: As it is supposed to be before daybreak, he is holding a lighted torch, and is attended by a train of slaves, who are carrying wine and other provisions for the entertainment, or early breakfast, which he is about to give. He has also a gay dress on for the occasion.? PHAEDROMUS Whither Venus and Cupid summon me, and Love persuades me; whether ’tis the midnight or whether the earliest twilight, if the day is fixed If the day is fixed: Status condictus dies. This term properly applies to a day appointed for pleading a cause. for pleading your cause with your antagonist, still must you go where they command you, whether you will or no. PALINURUS But pray, pray— PHAEDROMUS Pray — you are annoying to me. PALINURUS Really that is neither pretty nor befitting you to say. You are your own servant Your own servant: Puer may signify either servant or boy in this passage. In the former case, Palinurus would mean, you are acting as your own servant, in carrying the torch; in the latter, the allusion would probably be to the fact that boys, handsomely drest, used, at the nuptial ceremony, to carry lighted torches before the bride and bridegroom.; in your fine garb you are showing the light with your waxen torch Your waxen torch: It is not improbable that the flambeaux, or torches, used by the higher classes, were of wax; while those in more common use were made of pine-wood, tow, and other inflammable substances.. PHAEDROMUS And ought I not to carry that which is gathered by the labour of the little bees—which has its birth in sweets—to my own sweet one, my little honey? PALINURUS But whither must I say that you are going? PHAEDROMUS If you ask me that, I’ll tell, so that you may know. PALINURUS If I make the enquiry, what would you answer me? PHAEDROMUS This is the Temple (pointing to it) of Aesculapius. PALINURUS That I have known for more than a twelvemonth past. PHAEDROMUS Close to it is that door, dear as my very eyes. (Points to the door of CAPPADOX.) Hail to you! door, dear as my very eyes; have you been quite well of late? PALINURUS Did a fever leave you A fever leave you: He asks his master this, as he is in doubt whether he is in his senses or not. It was a notion among the ancients that fasting was very apt to produce delirium. but yesterday, or the day before, and did you take your dinner yesterday? PHAEDROMUS Are you laughing at me? PALINURUS Why then, madman, are you enquiring whether the door is well or not? PHAEDROMUS I’ faith, I’ve known it as a door most comely and most discreet: never one word does it whisper; when it is opened, it is silent; and when, by night, she secretly comes out to me, it holds its peace. PALINURUS And are you not, Phaedromus, doing, or contemplating the doing of, some deed which is unworthy of yourself or of your family? Are you not laying a snare for some modest fair one, or for one that should be modest? PHAEDROMUS For no one; and may Jupiter not permit me to do so. PALINURUS I wish the same. Ever, if you are wise, so bestow your love, that if the public should know the object which you love, it may be no disgrace to you. Ever do you take care that you be not disgraced Be not disgraced: Intestabilis. One who is, infamous, and whose evidence cannot be taken as a witness in the courts of law. Lambinus suggests that here, as in other instances where the word is used by Plautus, an indelicate pun is intended.. PHAEDROMUS What means that expression? PALINURUS For you to proceed with caution on your path; the object that you love, love in the presence of witnesses. PHAEDROMUS Why, ’tis a Procurer that lives here. (He points.) PALINURUS No one drives you away from there, nor yet forbids you, if you have the money, to buy what’s openly on sale. No one forbids any person from going along the public road, so long as he doesn’t make a path through the field that’s fenced around; so long as you keep yourself away from the wife, the widow, the maiden, youthful age, and free-born children, love what you please. PHAEDROMUS This is the house of a Procurer. PALINURUS A curse befall it. PHAEDROMUS Why so? PALINURUS Because it serves in an infamous service. PHAEDROMUS You speak out. PALINURUS Be it so, most especially. PHAEDROMUS Once more, will you hold your tongue? PALINURUS You bade me speak out Bade me speak out: Phaedromus had said to Palinurus, Obloquere, which may either mean you are abusive or do you speak out. Phaedromus intends it in the former sense, but Palinurus pretends to understand it in the latter; and when his master tells him to be quiet, he says, Why, I thought you told me to speak out., I thought. PHAEDROMUS Then, now I forbid you. But, as I had begun to say, he has a young female slave— PALINURUS This Procurer, you mean, who’s living here? PHAEDROMUS You have hold of it exactly. PALINURUS The less shall I be in dread of its falling. PHAEDROMUS You are impertinent. He wishes to make her a courtesan, while she is desperately in love with me; whereas I don’t wish to have her upon loan. PALINURUS Why so? PHAEDROMUS Because I’m for having her as my own; I love her equally as well. PALINURUS Clandestine courtship is bad; ’tis utter ruin. PHAEDROMUS I’ troth, ’tis so as you say. PALINURUS Has she as yet submitted to the yoke of Venus? PHAEDROMUS For me she is as chaste as though she were my own sister, unless, indeed, she is any the more unchaste for some kissing. PALINURUS Always, do you understand, flame follows very close on smoke; with smoke, nothing can be burnt, with flame, it can. He who wishes to eat the kernel To eat the kernel: This is exactly our proverb, which implies that labour attends every pursuit—To extract the kernel, you must crack the shell. of the nut, first breaks the nut; he who wishes to seduce, opens the dance Opens the dance: There is an indecent allusion intended in this line, which is somewhat modified in the translation. with kisses. PHAEDROMUS But she is chaste, and never yet has bestowed her favours upon man. PALINURUS That I could believe I could believe: Palinurus thinks it impossible that such a wretch as Cappadox would leave her untouched., if any Procurer had any shame. PHAEDROMUS Well, but what think you of her? When she has any opportunity, she steals away to me; when she has given me a kiss, she’s off again. This happens by reason of this, because this Procurer is lying a-bed ill in the Temple In the Temple: It was the custom of those who wished to ask anything of the Gods, to lie in their Temples, in order that they might receive their answers and instructions in their sleep. of Aesculapius; that fellow is my torturer. PALINURUS How so? PHAEDROMUS At one time he asks me for thirty minae for her, at another for a great talent; and from him I cannot obtain any fair and just dealing. PALINURUS You are too exacting, in requiring that of him which no Procurer possesses. PHAEDROMUS Now, I’ve sent my Parasite hence to Caria To Caria : Caria was in Asia Minor. Schmieder justly observes, that the Parasite must have used the wings of Daedalus, to go from Epidaurus in the Peloponnesus, to Caria, and discharge his commission and return in four days only. A Roman audience would not, however, be likely to know much about the relative distance of places so far off., to ask for money on loan from my friend; if he doesn’t bring me this, which way to turn myself I know not. PALINURUS If you salute the Deities, towards the right Towards the right: Dextrovorsum. A quibble seems to be intended in the use of this word; Palinurus, in saying turn to the right hand, probably meaeis, sarcastically, turn to a right course of life. I think; now this is this altar of Venus before their door. PHAEDROMUS I have already vowed to bring me To bring me: Me inferre. These words may mean, according to the context, either myself to bring or to bring myself. Phaedromus means to use them in the former sense; but, in his quibbling mood, Palinurus chooses to understand them in the latter. an early breakfast for my Venus For my Venus: By his Venus he means Planesium, with whom he is desperately in love, and for whom and the Procuress he is carrying the jentaculum. This was a meal which, we learn from Martial, was generally taken about three or four o’clock in the morning. It was, however, taken by few but invalids and children. The reason of Phaedromus providing a jentaculum for his mistress is probably the circumstance of the Procurer not being likely to interfere, as he has determined to pass the night in the Temple of Aesculapius.. PALINURUS What? Will you then be giving up yourself as a breakfast to Venus? PHAEDROMUS Myself, and you, and all of these. (Pointing to the SLAVES.) PALINURUS Then you would have Venus to be sick outright. PHAEDROMUS (to an ATTENDANT.) Here, boy, give me the bowl. PALINURUS What are you going to do? PHAEDROMUS You’ll know directly. An old hag is in the habit of sleeping here, as the keeper of the door; the name of the Procuress is Much-bibber and Neat-bibber. PALINURUS Just as you would speak of a flagon, in which Chian wine Chian wine: Chios, now Scio, in the Aegean Sea, produced the choicest wine, which was the only wine of Greece that did not require to be mixed with sea-water, to correct acidity and increase its durability. is wont to be. PHAEDROMUS What need is there of words? She is a most vinous soul; and the very moment that I’ve sprinkled this door with the wine, she knows by the smell that I’m here, and opens it forthwith. PALINURUS Is it for her the bowl is brought with the wine? PHAEDROMUS Unless you object. PALINURUS I’ faith, I do object; for I’d rather have it broken about him who has brought it. I fancied it was brought for ourselves. PHAEDROMUS Why don’t you hold your tongue? If any’s left after her, it will be enough for ourselves. PALINURUS What river is it, pray, that the sea does not receive? PHAEDROMUS Follow me this way, Palinurus, to the door; do you be obedient to me. PALINURUS I’ll do so. (They advance to the door of the PROCURER’S house.) PHAEDROMUS (sprinkling the door with wine.) Come, drink, you joyous door, quaff on, readily prove propitious unto me. PALINURUS (in an afected tone.) Door, would you like some olives or a tit-bit, or some capers? PHAEDROMUS Arouse and send out here to me your portress. PALINURUS You’re spilling the wine; what matter is it that possesses you? (Takes hold of his arm.) PHAEDROMUS Let me alone. Don’t you see? This most joyous door is opening; does the hinge make a bit of creaking? ’Tis a charming one. PALINURUS Why don’t you then give it a kiss? PHAEDROMUS Hold your tongue; let’s keep back the light and our noise. PALINURUS Be it so. (They stand apart, leaving the bowl near the door.) (Enter the PROCURESS, from the house of CAPPADOX.) PROCURESS The savour of aged wine has reached my nostrils; the love of it has brought me in my eagerness hither in the dark; wherever it is, it’s near me. O capital, I’ve found it. (Stooping, and smelling at the bowl.) Hail to you, my soul, Joy of dear Bacchus; how enamoured am I of your old age. For in comparison with yours, the odour of all unguents were mere bilge-water; you are my myrrh, you my cinnamon, you my rose, you my saffron unguent and my cassia, you are my vine-palm Vine-palm: Bdellium was a gum of fragrant smell and bitter aste, which exuded from a tree that grew in Arabia. It is described by the Elder Pliny, in his Twelfth Book. scent. But, where you have been poured, there would I most earnestly hope to be buried. PALINURUS (apart.) This old lady’s thirsty; how limited is her thirst? PHAEDROMUS (apart.) She’s a moderate person; she swallows eight gallons Eight gallons: Quadrantal. This was a measure which held forty-eight sextarii, of about a pint and a half each. only. PALINURUS (apart.) I’ faith, according to your account, this year’s vintage is not enough for this old woman alone. PROCURESS But since as yet you, fragrance, alone have penetrated to my nostrils, so in its turn afford some delight to my throat. (Feels for the bowl on the ground, which PALINURUS draws away.) I find you not; where is your own dear self? I’m longing to touch you; do let me pour your liquids into me by sip-sipping. But in this direction it has gone, this way I’ll. follow it. (Goes in the direction of PALINURUS, who has the bowl.) PALINURUS (apart.) It really had been more proper for her to be a dog; she has a good nose. PROCURESS Prithee, whose voice is it that I hear at a distance. PHAEDROMUS (apart.) I think that this old hag should be accosted. I’ll approach her. (Aloud.) Come back, Procuress, and look back towards me. PROCURESS Who is it that gives his commands? PHAEDROMUS The all-powerful in wine, jolly Bacchus; he who, when you’re hawking, parched, and half asleep, brings you a draught and comes to quench your thirst. PROCURESS How far is he away from me? PHAEDROMUS (holding up the torch.) See this light. PROCURESS Then, prithee, do quicken your pace towards me. PHAEDROMUS Health to you. PROCURESS How can I have health, who am parched with thirst? PHAEDROMUS But you shall drink in a moment. PROCURESS ’Tis long a-coming. PHAEDROMUS (extending the bowl.) Here’s for you, jolly old dame. PROCURESS Health to you, gentleman dear as my very eyes. PALINURUS Come, toss this off quickly into your abyss; scour out your sink right speedily. PHAEDROMUS Hold your tongue; I won’t have her ill spoken to. PALINURUS (aside.) In preference, then, I’ll do her ill. PROCURESS (pouring some of the residue on the altar.) Venus, of this little, this very little will I give to thee Will I give to thee: As a libation. It was the custom to pour out wine or other liquors, as libations in honor of the Gods, either upon an altar, on the ground, into the sea, or on a table, according to the circumstances of the case.—sore against my will; for all the lovers, in their cups, to propitiate thee, expend their wine upon thee: not such windfalls often fall to me. (Drinks again.) PALINURUS Do look at that, please, how greedily the filthy hag swills down the pure wine into herself with distended gullet. PROCURESS (patting her stomach and chuckling.) Ha, ha, ha PALINURUS How is it? Do you like it? PROCURESS I do like it. PALINURUS And I, too, should like to goad with a spur as well. PHAEDROMUS (aside to PALINURUS.) Don’t you—do hold your tongue. PALINURUS I’ll hold my tongue; (the old woman drinks) but see, the rainbow’s drinking The rainbow’s drinking: This is said in allusion to an absurd belief which prevailed among the ancients, that the rainbow drank up water from be surface of the earth.; I’ faith, I do believe it will rain to-day. PHAEDROMUS Troth now, I’m quite undone; what first to say to her I know not. PALINURUS Why, the same thing that you said to me. PHAEDROMUS What’s that? PALINURUS Say that you’re quite undone. PHAEDROMUS May the Gods confound you. PALINURUS Say so to her. PHAEDROMUS Am I to say then to her—? PALINURUS Say what? PHAEDROMUS That I’m quite undone. PALINURUS Well then, say so. PHAEDROMUS Old lady, do listen. I wish you to know this; to my sorrow, I’m quite undone. PROCURESS But, i’ faith, for my part, I’m altogether brought to life. But why is it that you are pleased to say you are quite undone? PHAEDROMUS Because I’m deprived of the object which I love. (Pretends to weep) PROCURESS My dear Phaedromus, prithee, do not weep; do you take care that I’m not thirsty, I’ll at once bring out here for you the object which you love. (Goes into the house.) PHAEDROMUS Assuredly, if you keep faith with me, in place of a golden statue, I’ll erect for you one of wine One of wine: Vineam. There is more humour in taking this to mean a statue of wine, than merely a vine-tree, as Warner has transated it., which shall be a memorial of your gullet Palinurus, who on earth will be so blest as myself, if she comes to me? PALINURUS By my faith, he who is in love, if he is in want as well, is afflicted with a dreadful malady. PHAEDROMUS Such is not the case with me; for I feel sure that this very day my Parasite will come hither to me with the money. PALINURUS You attempt something mighty, if you expect that which nowhere exists. PHAEDROMUS What if I approach the door, and trill a carol Trill a carol: Occentem. This word has probably much the time meaning here as our word serenade.? PALINURUS If you choose; I neither bid nor request you, since, my master, I see that you are of manners and disposition thus changed. PHAEDROMUS (sings.) Bolts, O ye bolts, with pleasure do I salute you. I love you, I court you, I seek you, and you entreat; most kindly lend your aid to me in love; become, for my sake, as though play-actors Play-actors: The Lydians, or rather their descendants, the Etrurians, were the earliest actors at Rome; hence the term used here, barbari, foreigners. The metaphor is borrowed from the fact that dancing, leaping, and gestures, were the especial features of their performances. from foreign climes; leap upwards pray, and send out of doors this fair one, who drains my blood for me distractedly in love. (Addressing PALINURUS.) Look at that, how those most accursed bolts sleep on, and none the quicker for my sake do they bestir themselves. (Addressing the door.) I see quite clearly that you don’t value my esteem at all. Hist! hush, hush! PALINURUS I’ troth, for my part I’m silent enough. PHAEDROMUS I hear a noise; at last, i’ faith, these bolts have become complaisant to me. (Re-enter the PROCURESS, with PLANESIUM, from the house of CAPPADOX.) PROCURESS (to PLANESIUM, while opening the door.) Come softly out, and prevent the noise of the doors and the creaking of the hinges, my dear Planesium, that our master mayn’t perceive that that is going on which we are doing here. Stay, I’ll pour a little water Pour a little water: To prevent their creaking, so that Cappadox may not hear them. on it. (Pours water on the hinges.) PALINURUS (to PHAEDROMUS.) Do you see how the palsied hag is giving her dose? She herself has learnt right well to drink up the wine; to the door she’s giving water for it to drink. PLANESIUM (looking around.) Where are you—you who have summoned me on the recognizances of Venus Recognizances of Venus: Veneriis vadimoniis. She borrows a legal phrase here. Vadimonium legere was, to call a person on his bail or recognizances. When the Praetor had granted an action, the plaintiff required the defendant to give security for his appearance on the day named. The defendant, on finding a surety, was said vadem dare, or vadimonium facere; and the vas, or surety, was said spondere. The plaintiff, if satisfied with the surety, was said vadari reum, to let the defendant go on his sureties. Planesium probably means that she considers herself summoned on pain of forfeiting the love of Phaedromus.? To you do I present myself, and, in the same way do I call on you, on the other hand, to present yourself to me. PHAEDROMUS (stepping forward.) Here I am; for could I be absent, I wouldn’t repine for any misfortune to befall me, my honey. PLANESIUM My life, it is not becoming for one thus in love to be at a distance. PHAEDROMUS Palinurus, Palinurus! PALINURUS Say on; why is it that you call upon Palinurus? PHAEDROMUS (aside.) She is a charming one. PALINURUS (aside.) Aye, too charming. PHAEDROMUS I am a God. PALINURUS Why, no—a mortal, of no great value. PHAEDROMUS What have you seen, or what will you see, more nearly to be compared with the Gods? PALINURUS You are not in your senses, master; a thing that’s grievous to me. PHAEDROMUS You are not sufficiently respectful to me: hold your tongue. PALINURUS The person that sees Person that sees: He is censuring his master for his backwardness in not embracing Planesium instantly on her appearance. the object which he loves, and enjoys not the opportunity while he may, is one who torments his own self. PHAEDROMUS Rightly does he rebuke me; really there’s nothing which for this long time past I have more eagerly desired. PLANESIUM Clasp me, embrace me then. PHAEDROMUS (embracing her.) This, too, is a reason for which I could wish to live; because your master restrains, you, in secret do I court you. PLANESIUM Restrain me? He neither can restrain me, nor will he restrain me, unless death should separate my soul from you. PHAEDROMUS Let monarchs keep their kingdoms to themselves, the rich their riches to themselves, to themselves their honors, to themselves their prowess, to themselves their combats, to themselves their battles; so long as they abstain from envying me, let each one of them keep what is his own. PALINURUS (aside.) Of a truth, I cannot refrain from giving a lecture to my master; for, really, it is good to love in a moderate degree; to distraction, it is not good; but to love to entire distraction, is the thing that my master’s doing. (Aloud.) What say you, sir? Have you made a vow, Phaedromus, you’d watch the night through for Venus? For really, upon my faith, before very long hence the dawn will be breaking. PHAEDROMUS Do hold your tongue. PALINURUS Why hold my tongue? What, are you going to sleep? PHAEDROMUS I am asleep; don’t you make a noise. PALINURUS Why, but you’re broad awake. PHAEDROMUS Aye, but after my own fashion I’m asleep; this is my slumber. PALINURUS (to PLANESIUM.) A word with you, madam; ’tis thoughtlessness to treat amiss one who deserves it not. PLANESIUM You would be angry, if, when you are eating, he were to drive you away To drive you away: As Palinurus wishes his master to withdraw against the wish of Planesium, she asks him how he would like his victuals to be taken away from him—implying that Phaedromus is as dear to herself as her very sustenance. from your food. PALINURUS (aside.) It’s all over with him. I see that these two are equally in love to distraction; and both of them are mad. D’ye see how intensely they hug each other? They cannot embrace enough. (Addressing them.) Are you going to part yet? PLANESIUM No human being has blessings that last Blessings that last: This is like the sentiment in Horace, Book iii., Ode 16: Nihil est ab omni Parte beatum. for ever. To this pleasure, then, is that plague added. PALINURUS What say you, you shocking hussy Shocking hussy: Propudium. This was a very harsh term of reproach; and it is not to be wondered at that Phaedromus is angry with Palinurus for using it.? What, you little tipsy ninny Tipsy ninny: Ebriola, and not ebriolae, seems to be the correct reading here. She has perhaps been taking her share of the wine, to which fact he alludes. Persolla means either a little mask or a diminutive person; much as we call a little interfering body a whipper-snapper., are even you with your owlish eyes Owlish eyes: Though grey eyes were admired among the Greeks Palinurus does not intend this as a compliment to Planesium. He perhaps alludes to her intended vocation, as having eyes peculiarly adapted for the night- time. to be calling me a plague, you whipper-snapper? PHAEDROMUS What, you abusing my own Venus? And really, is a slave well trounced with the rod to be commencing a discussion with myself? But, by the powers, you’ve surely said that to your own misfortune. (Strikes him.) There, take that, by way of punishment for this abusive language, that you may be able to put a check upon your speech. PALINURUS (to PLANESIUM.) Your aid, I pray, you night-watching Venus. PHAEDROMUS What, do you still persist, whip-scoundrel? (Strikes hint.) PLANESIUM Don’t, there’s a dear, be beating a stone, lest you should hurt your hand. PALINURUS You perpetrate, Phaedromus, a flagitious and a shameful deed of great enormity; one who directs you aright, you pummel with your fists; her you are in love with, a mere nonentity. Is it right that you should behave yourself in this unreasonable manner? PHAEDROMUS Find me a reasonable lover against his weight in gold; here, take the gold of me. (Holds out his purse.) PALINURUS Do you find me a person for me to serve in his sound senses against his weight in double-distilled gold. PLANESIUM Kindly fare you well, apple of my eye, for I hear the sound and creaking of doors; I think the keeper The keeper: Aedituum. The aeditui were persons who took care of the Temples, and attended to the cleaning of them. They, however, partook in some measure of the priestly character, and are sometimes called priests by the Greek Grammarians. They lived in or near to the Temples, and showed them to those persons who wished to see them. is opening the temple. But, prithee, in this same manner shall we always enjoy our love by stealth? PHAEDROMUS Far from it; for I sent my Parasite four days since to Caria to fetch some money; he’ll be here to-day. PLANESIUM You are very long in your contriving. PHAEDROMUS So may Venus love me, I’ll never allow you to be three days in this house here, before I procure your liberty. PLANESIUM Take care to remember it. Once more, before I go hence, take this kiss. (Kisses him.) PHAEDROMUS By heavens, really if a kingdom now were offered me, I should not obtain it with greater pleasure. When shall I see you again? PLANESIUM Why now, for that expression get ready the Praetor’s rod The Prœtor’s rod: Vindicta. This was the rod which was laid on the head of the person who received his freedom.; if you love me, purchase my freedom; don’t make any haggling. Take care to prevail with your offer. Kindly adieu! (Goes into the house of the PROCURER.) PHAEDROMUS And am I then left behind? Palinurus, I’m Lilled outright. PALINURUS And I as well, who am dying with thumps and sleepiness. PHAEDROMUS Do you follow me. (They go into the house of PHAEDROMUS.) (Enter CAPPADOX, from the Temple of AESCULAPIUS.) CAPPADOX (to himself.) I am resolved to depart from this Temple out of doors forthwith, since thus I find Since thus I find: It being near daybreak, Cappadox comes from the Temple, complaining that he has experienced no relief from his visit. the determination of Aesculapius, who sets me at nought, and chooses not that I should be healed. My health is declining, my weakness increases. For now I walk, girded with my spleen as though with a belt; in my stomach do I seem to be holding a twin offspring. I’m afraid of nothing, but that, in my misery, I should burst asunder in the middle. (PHAEDROMUS.) PALINURUS (speaking to PHAEDROMUS within as he enters.) If you do right, Phaedromus, you’ll listen to me, and banish this sorrow from your feelings. You are anxious because your Parasite hasn’t returned from Caria. I think he’ll bring the money; but if he doesn’t bring it, by a chain of iron he couldn’t be withheld from betaking himself to eat at his manger At his manger: Praesepem, a manger or stall, in allusion to the sensual propensities of Parasites.. CAPPADOX (turning round.) What person is it that speaks? PALINURUS (to himself.) Whose voice is it that I hear? CAPPADOX Isn’t this Palinurus, the servant of Phaedromus? PALINURUS (aside.) Who is this fellow with extended paunch, and eyes as green as grass? From his figure I know him; from his complexion I cannot recognize him. O, now I do know him: it’s the Procurer Cappadox. I’ll accost him. CAPPADOX Save you, Palinurus. PALINURUS O source of villanies, save you; how are you? CAPPADOX I’m just alive. PALINURUS Just as you deserve, I suppose? But what’s the matter with you? CAPPADOX My spleen is killing me, my reins are in torment, my lungs are being torn asunder, my liver is being tortured, my heart-strings are giving way, all my intestines are in pain. PALINURUS The liver complaint is afflicting you, then. CAPPADOX My spleen is expanded. PALINURUS Take walking exercise Take walking exercise: There is little doubt that he means seriously to tell Cappadox that exercise is the best cure for disease of the spleen. The Procurer, however, thinks that he is laughing at him.; that’s the best thing for the spleen. CAPPADOX ’Tis an easy matter to laugh at the afflicted. PALINURUS Well, then, do you hold outDo you hold out: This passage has much perplexed Commentators. If a period is placed after tibi, and exputescant is read for exputescunt, much of the difficulty is removed. None of the Commentators seem to have observed that, in all probability, si id feceris, if you do that, refers to the advice previously given as to taking exercise. If so, the meaning is clear. If you don’t take exercise, in a few days your inside will be putrefying. If, however, you do so now, while the humours of the body are not corrupted, your inside will fetch a higher price than your whole carcase put together—alluding to the worthless character of the Procurer. for some days until your intestines become putrid. Now, while the humours are pretty sound, if you do that, you yourself might sell for a worse price than those intestines of yours. CAPPADOX Prithee, have done with this, and answer me this which I ask; can you possibly form a conjecture on it, if I relate to you what I dreamt last night in my sleep? PALINURUS Psha, this—(pointing to himself)—this is the sole person that is really skilled in divination; why, the interpreters of dreams ask advice of myself; the answer that I have given them, by that opinion they all stand. (Enter a COOK, from the house of PHAEDROUMS.) COOK Palinurus, why do you delay? Why are not the things served out for me which are needed for the breakfast to be prepared for the Parasite when he comes. PALINURUS Wait, please, until I interpret his dream. (Pointing to CAPPADOX.) COOK Why, you your own self, if you’ve had any dream, always apply to me. PALINURUS I confess it. COOK Be off, then, and serve out the things. PALINURUS (to CAPPADOX.) Come now, do you in the meantime relate your dream to him. I give you a substitute better than I am myself; for what I do know, all of it I know from him. (Pointing to the COOK.) CAPPADOX Let him give his attention then. PALINURUS He’ll give it. CAPPADOX He does what few do, in being attentive to their masters even. (To the COOK.) Do you give me your attention then. (PALINURUS goes into the house of PHAEDROMUS.) COOK Although I don’t know you, I’ll give it you. CAPPADOX Last night I seemed in my sleep to behold Aesculapius, seated at a distance far away from me; and it seemed that he didn’t come near me, or set any value upon me. COOK The other Gods will do the same, you must know; in fact, among themselves they agree with perfect unanimity. It isn’t to be wondered at, if it fares no better with you. But it had been better for you to pass the night in Jove’s Temple, who has given you his assistance Given you his assistance: — He may either mean that Jupiter has favoured him when he has been guilty of perjury, or that the Procurer must be greatly indebted to that God for having so often lent him his name on his making solemn adjurations to further his base purposes. in your oaths. CAPPADOX If, indeed, those should wish to sleep there who have been guilty of perjury, it were not possible for room to be found them in the Capitol In the Capitol: Though the Scene is in the Peloponnesus, Plautus makes mention of the Capitol, a part of Rome. Some others of the Italian towns had their Capitols in later times.. COOK Give your attention to this; ask peace of Aesculapius, lest perchance some great mishap befall you, which has been portended to you in your rest. CAPPADOX You do well in advising me; I’ll go and pray to him. (Goes into the Temple.) COOK And ill speed you with it (Goes into the house of PHAEDROMUS.) PALINURUS (Enter PALINURUS, from the house.) (looking in the distance, as he enters.) O immortal Gods, whom do I behold? Who’s that yonder? (Pointing.) Isn’t that the Parasite, who was sent to Caria? (Goes to the door.) Hallo, come out, Phaedromus, come out, come out, come out this instant, I say. (from the house.) PHAEDROMUS Why are you making this noise here? PALINURUS I see your Parasite running; see, there he is (pointing), down at the end of the street The end of the street: This passage, combined with the long soliloquy of the Parasite while still walking along, gives an apt illustration of the great width and depth of the Roman stage.. Let’s listen from here what he’s about. PHAEDROMUS I think it’s as well. (They stand aside.) (Enter CURCULIO, at a distance, walking fast.) CURCULIO (to himself.) Known or unknown, make way for me, while here I execute my commission; fly all of you, be off, and get out of the way, lest I should hurt any person in my speed with my head, or elbow, or breast, or with my knee. So suddenly now am I charged with a business of quickness and despatch. And be there no person ever so opulent to stop me in my way, neither general General: Though the Scene is at Epidaurus, he no doubt alludes to the ten Strategi of Athens, who, after the remodelling of the constitution by Cleisthenes, discharged the duties which had been formerly performed either by the King or the Archon Polemarchus. They were elected by the suffrages of the people, and exercised the supreme power in peace and war. See an able article on this subject in Dr. Smith’s Dictionary of Antiquities., nor any tyrant Tyrant: By the use of the word tyrannus he perhaps refers to the Basileus Archon, or King Archon. of Athens, who was the representative of the ancient kings, in their capacity of high priest. It was his duty to preside at the Lenaea, or older Dionysia, to superintend mysteries and certain games, and to offer prayers and sacrifices in the Eleusinium, both at Athens and Eleusis. The word may, however, be only intended as a general name, like our term potentate., nor market-officer Market-officer: Agoranomus, the market-officer of the Greeks, has been referred to in a Note to the Miles Gloriosus., nor demarch Denmarch: The Demarchi were the chief officers of the demi, townships or hundreds, in Attica. It was their duty to convene the demus, and take the votes; to register the landed estates, to collect the public rents, and to furnish to the authorities a list of the members of the townships who were fit to serve in war. nor comarch Comarch: The Comarchi were the prefects, or head officers of each village or framlet in Attica., with their honors so great, but that down he goes, and tumbles head first from the footpath into the carriage-road. And then those Grecians with their cloaks, who walk about with covered heads, who go loaded beneath their cloaks with books, and with baskets With baskets: In the sportule, or baskets, the poor, and the parasitical dependants on the rich, carried away the scraps that were given to them after an entertainment was concluded., they loiter together, and engage in gossipping among themselves, the gad-abouts The gad-abouts: Drapetae. From the Greek δρέμω, to run. He probably alludes to the propensities of the Athenians for gossipping and running about from place to place. Probably, at the time of Plautus, they had begun in considerable numbers to resort to Rome. By his reference to the books, he is, perhaps, more particularly alluding to their Philosophers. The Romans considered it effeminate in civil life to go with the head covered.; you may always see them enjoying themselves in the hot liquor-shops Hot liquor-shops— The thermopolia have been alluded to in a Note to the Trinummus, l. 1013.; when they have scraped up some trifle, with their covered pates they are drinking mulled wine, sad and maudlin they depart: if I stumble upon them here, from every single one of them I’ll squeeze out a belch from their pearled-barley diet Their pearled-barley diet: This passage is necessarily somewhat modified in the translation. The Philosophers, especially the Stoics, who prided themselves on their abstinence, lived principally upon pearled barley.. And then those servants of your dainty townsmen Of your dainty townsmen: He alludes to those opulent townsmen who, to make a show, are keeping more servants than they want; in consequence whereof, these servants have nothing to do but play at ball in the streets, much to the annoyance of the passers-by., who are playing at catch-ball in the road, both throwers and catchers, all of them I’ll pitch under foot. Would they avoid a mishap, why then, let them keep at home. PHAEDROMUS (apart.) He points out aright, he only requires that he should speak with authority; for such manners are in vogue in the present day, such at present are the slaves; really, control cannot be held over them. CURCULIO (to himself.) Is there any one, I wonder, who can point out to me Phaedromus, my good Genius? The matter is of such pressing nature, I really must meet with the man this instant. PALINURUS (apart.) He’s looking for you. PHAEDROMUS (apart.) What if we accost him? (Aloud.) Hallo! Curculio, I want you. CURCULIO (looking round.) Who’s calling me? Who’s mentioning my name? PHAEDROMUS One who wishes to meet with you. CURCULIO (seeing him.) You don’t wish more for me than I wish for you. PHAEDROMUS O my own ready occasion, Curculio, much longed-for, greetings to you. CURCULIO Greetings to you. PHAEDROMUS I’m glad that you have arrived safe; give me your right hand. How stand my hopes? Troth now, prithee, do speak out. CURCULIO To you, troth now, prithee, do speak out, how stand my own. (Makes curious gestures.) PHAEDROMUS What’s the matter with you? CURCULIO A dimness is beginning to come, my knees are failing through fasting. PHAEDROMUS I’ faith, through lassitude, I think. CURCULIO (staggering.) Support me, prithee, do support me. PHAEDROMUS See how pale he has turned; will you give him a seat, for him to be seated at once, and an ewer with some water? Will you make haste, this very instant? CURCULIO I’m faint. PHAEDROMUS Would you like some water? CURCULIO If it’s full of bits Full of bits: He will like the water very well, if it is in the shape of a rich soup, with plenty of meat in it. of meat, prithee, give it me to swallow down, i’ faith. PHAEDROMUS Woe be to that head of yours. CURCULIO Troth now, prithee do give me cause to rejoice at my arrivalAt my arrival: Ventum. This word gives occasion to a pun here, as, according to the context, it may either meal that I am arrived, or wind. The Parasite says, Give me reason (by providing some victuals) to rejoice that I have arrived. Phaedromus chooses to understand him as saving, Give me some wind, that I may rejoice, and says By all means, and begins to fan him. The other asks what he is doing, or making; to which he replies, Making some air.. PHAEDROMUS (begins to fan him.) By all means. CURCULIO Prithee, what’s this you’re about. PHAEDROMUS Some air. CURCULIO Really, for my part, I don’t want a breath to be raised. PHAEDROMUS What then? CURCULIO To eat, that I may rejoice on my arrival. PHAEDROMUS May Jupiter and the Deities confound you. CURCULIO I’m quite undone; I can hardly see; my mouth is bitter; my teeth, I find, are blunted Are blunted: It is hard to say what plenos means when applied to the teeth—if indeed, that word is the correct reading here.; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food am I come. PHAEDROMUS You shall eat something just now. CURCULIO I’ faith, I don’t want something; I’d rather have what’s fixed for certain, than your something. PHAEDROMUS Aye, but if you only knew what has been put by for you. CURCULIO I’d very much like to know where it is; for really it’s necessary for it and my teeth to make acquaintance. PHAEDROMUS A gammon of bacon, a sow’s stomach, some udder and kernels of the throat. CURCULIO What, all this do you say? Perhaps you mean that they are in the flesh-market? PHAEDROMUS In the dishes, I mean; they’ve been got ready for you, since we knew that you were about to arrive. CURCULIO Take care you don’t be fooling me. PHAEDROMUS So may the fair one love me whom I love, I don’t say what’s false. But as to what I sent you upon I’m none the wiser yet. CURCULIO I’ve brought back nothing. PHAEDROMUS You’ve undone me. CURCULIO I can find something, if you’ll give me your attention. After, at your request, I had set out, I arrived in Caria; I saw your friend; I asked him to make me a loan of some money. In answer, you were to know that he was willing to oblige you; he didn’t wish to disappoint you, as it is only proper that a person who is a friend should be ready, and should assist his friend. In a few words he answered me, and quite in confidence, that he also was in the same extreme want of money as yourself. PHAEDROMUS By your words you ensure my undoing. CURCULIO Why no; I’m saving you, and wish you to be saved. After this answer was given me, I went away from him to the Forum, in sorrow that I had applied to him in vain. By accident I espied a military officer; this person I accosted, and as I approached I saluted him. Save you, said he to me, took my right hand, drew me aside, and asked me why I had come to Caria. I said that I had come there for the sake of amusement. Upon this he asked me whether I knew a certain Lyco, a banker of Epidaurus. I said I knew him. Well, and the Procurer Cappadox? I answered yes, that I had seen him. But what do you want of him? said I. Because, said he, I bought of him a girl for thirty minae, her clothes and golden jewels too; and for these last ten minae more are added. Have you paid the money? said I. No, said he; it is lodged with this Lyco the banker, whom I was mentioning, and I’ve instructed him that the person who should bring a letter sealed with my own ring, to him he was to give his services, that he might receive the damsel, with her jewels of gold and her clothes, from the Procurer. After he told me this, I was going away from him. At once he called me back, invited me to dinner; it was a point of conscience, I was unwilling to refuse him. What if we go off home, and take our places at table? said he. The suggestion pleased me; it is neither proper to lengthen out the day, nor to curtail the night. Everything was prepared, and we, for whom it was prepared, were at our places. After we had dined and well drunk, he asked for the dice to be fetched him. He challenged me to play with him a game of hazard. I staked my cloak, he staked his ring against it; he called on the name Called on the name: On the custom of invoking their mistresses, when playing at dice, see a Note to the Captivi, Act I., Sc. 1. We are, perhaps, to suppose that the Captain takes off his ring for the purpose of staking it, which would enable Curculio to steal it the more easily. of Planesium. PHAEDROMUS What, my mistress? CURCULIO Be silent a while. He threw a most losing cast Most losing cast: When playing with the tali, or knucklebone dice, with only four marked sides, they used sets of four. Volturii quatuor (literally, the four vultures) was the most unlucky throw of all, and is supposed to have been four aces.. I took up the dice, and invoked Hercules as my genial patron My genial patron: Nutricem; literally, nurse. It has been suggested that the Parasite intended to compliment his entertainer, the Captain, under the name of Hercules, whom he invokes for luck. The Delphin Commentator says that Parasites invoked Hercules because the tenths of entertainments were offered to him, and these were distributed among the needy, in the number of whom they ranked.; I threw a first-rate cast A first-rate cast: The best throw with the tali was called Venus or Venereus jactus, when the dice turned up 2, 3, 4, and 5. As it war by this throw that the Romans chose the King of the Feast, it received the name of Basilicus, the king’s throw. See the last Scene in the Asinaria., and pledged him in a bumping cup; in return he drank it off, reclined his head, and fell fast asleep. I slily took away from him the ring, and took my legs quietly from off the couch, so that the Captain mightn’t perceive it. The servants enquired whither I was going; I said that I was going whither persons when full are wont to go. When I beheld the door, at once on the instant I betook myself away from the place. PHAEDROMUS I commend you. CURCULIO Commend me when I’ve brought this thing about which you desire. Now let’s go indoors, that we may seal the letter. PHAEDROMUS Do I delay you? CURCULIO But let’s cram down something first, the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are the foundations for the stomach, with bread and roast beef, a good-sized cup and a capacious pot, that counsel enough may be forthcoming. Do you, yourself, seal the letter; he’ll do the honors (pointing to PALINURUS) while I am eating. I’ll dictate after what fashion you’re to write. Follow me this way, in-doors. PHAEDROMUS I follow. (They go into the house of PHAEDROMUS.) (Enter LYCO.) LYCO I seem to be in opulence; I’ve struck my balance, how much money I have, and how much I owe. I’m rich, if I don’t pay If I don’t pay: He probably alludes to some shuffling and cheating methods by which the bankers of the day had recently distinguished themselves. See the Pseudolus, l. 296 (Act I., Sc. 3). those to whom I’m in debt. If I do pay those to whom I’m in debt, my debts are the greatest. But really, upon my faith, when I carefully consider, if they press me hard, I’ll resort to the Praetor Resort to the Praetor: This was probably a method with bankers and traders, by which, for the purpose of defrauding their creditors, they surrendered their effects to the Praetor, and by doing so, contrived to make a purse, as is too often done by bankrupts and insolvents at the present day. In l. 684 (Act V., Sc. 3), we find Cappadox expressing himself as apprehensive that Lyco will be taking the benefit of the Act.. Most bankers have this habit, for one to borrow of the other, and to pay nobody, and to discharge the debt with their fists, if any one duns in a loudish tone. The person that has The person that has: Gueudeville, in his translation, informs us that this maxim was much repeated by Louis XII. of France, who was a great admirer of Plautus. in a short time acquired wealth, unless in good time he saves it, in good time comes to starvation. I’d like to buy a servant for myself, who now, however, must be sought by me on hire Sought by me on hire: This passage has been much commented on, as containing some indelicate meaning. After all, it seems clearly to mean that he has occasion for all his ready cash; and, though he would like to buy a slave, he must content himself with hiring one.: there’s occasion for my ready money. (within.) CURCULIO Don’t you be reminding me now I’m full; I recollect and understand. I’ll render up to you all this cleverly carried out; do hold your peace. I’ faith, I’ve surely filled myself in-doors right well, and still in my stomach I’ve left room for one corner, in which to stow away the remnants of these remnants. (Seeing LYCO.) Who’s this that with covered head is saluting Aesculapius? Heyday, the very man I wanted. (To an ATTENDANT.) Follow me. I’ll make pretence as though I didn’t know him. (Aloud.) Hark you; I want you. LYCO (turning round.) One-eyed man One-eyed man: It appears from this that Curculio has but one eye. The occasion of his losing it is hinted at in l. 396., save you. CURCULIO Prithee, do you jeer me? LYCO I suppose that you are of the family of the Coclites Family of the Coclites: Coclitum prosapia no doubt here means a general term, the family of one-eyed men. Horatius, who, single-handed, opposed the army of Porsenna, was called Cocles, from having but one eye. Pliny the Elder speaks of the Cyclops and the Arimaspians, a nation of Sarmatia, as having but one eye.; for they are one-eyed. CURCULIO This was knocked out for me by a catapulta, at Sicyon. LYCO What matters it to me, pray, if it had been knocked out by a broken pot with cinders in it? CURCULIO (aside.) This fellow’s a wizard, surely A wizard, surely: He is surprised at Lyco having so exactly hit upon the truth. It has been already remarked that Parasites were the especial butts for practical jokes. On one of these occasions the unfortunate fellow probably lost his eye.; he tells the truth, for such catapultas are often directed at me. (Aloud.) Young man, as I bear this mark on my face Bear this mark on my face: Hoc intus mihi. This passage is most probably corrupt. in the service of the public, prithee don’t be uncivil Don’t be uncivil: Incomitio probably means, to treat rudely, or be uncivil to. Lyco puns upon it, as though meaning, to bring before the comitia,’ or public assemblies of the people. to me. LYCO May I then inforize Inforize: In the word inforare, which is coined for the occasion, and signifies to summon to the Forum, it is not improbable that an indecent pun is intended. The liberty has been taken of adopting these two word for the occasion. you, if I may not incomitiatize? CURCULIO You shan’t be inforizing me, indeed; and really I don’t care at all about your Forum or your Comitia. But if you can point me out this person that I’m seeking, you will be doing me a real and a great service. I’m looking for Lyco the banker. LYCO Tell me why you are now seeking for him, or, of what country are you? CURCULIO I’ll tell you: I’m come from Therapontigonus Platagidorus, the Captain. LYCO I’ faith, I know the name: (aside) for with that same name, when I wrote, I filled four whole sides Four whole sides: Ceras. Waxed sides of a tablet.. (To CURCULIO.) But why are you seeking for Lyco? CURCULIO (showing the letter.) I’ve been ordered to deliver this letter to him. LYCO What person are you? CURCULIO His freed-man, whom all call Summanus Summanus: There was a Divinity of this name. See the Bacchides, l. 895 (Act IV., Sc. 8) The name, as here coined by Curculio, would perhaps, answer to the English Mr. Keep-tight-in-hand.. LYCO Summanus, my greetings. But why Summanus? Let me know. CURCULIO Because, when in my drunken fit I’ve gone to sleep, I summane I summane: Summano Literally, I keep my hands upon. For the purpose of keeping up the spirit of the passage, the liberty has been taken of coining a word. The Parasite seems to allude, somewhat obscurely, to the trick he has played the Captain Therapontigonus. the garments; for that reason do all people call me Summanus. LYCO ’Twere better for you to look out for entertainment for you somewhere else; really in my own house I have no room for a Summanus. But I am the person that you are looking for. CURCULIO Prithee, are you he, Lyco the banker? LYCO I am. CURCULIO Therapontigonus requested me to give you a hearty greeting, and to deliver this letter. LYCO What, to me? CURCULIO Just so. Take it, recognize the seal. Do you know it? (LYCO takes the letter.) LYCO Why should I not know it? On which, a man, holding a shield, is cleaving an elephant asunder with a sword. CURCULIO What’s written there he bade me request you to do immediately, if you wished for his esteem. LYCO Step aside; I’ll look what’s written in it. CURCULIO (stepping aside.) By all means, at your pleasure, so long as I receive of you that which I’m come for. LYCO (reads.) Therapontigonus Platagidorus, the Captain, his guest, sends to his host Lyco, at Epidaurus, right hearty greeting. CURCULIO (aside.) This fellow’s my own; he’s swallowing the hook. LYCO (going on.) I beg and request of you that, the person who delivers this letter to you, to him be given up the girl whom I purchased there (which I did there in your presence, and you being the negotiator), and the golden trinkets and clothes as well. You know already how it was agreed upon. You give the money to the Procurer, and give the young woman to this person. (To CURCULIO.) Where is he himself? Why doesn’t he come? CURCULIO I’ll tell you; because it is but four days since we arrived in Caria, from India; there he now intends to order a solid golden statue to be made of Philippean gold, which is to be seven feet high—a memorial of his exploits. LYCO For what reason this? CURCULIO I’ll tell you; why, because within twenty days he singly has subdued the Persians, Paphlagonians, Sinopians, Arabians, Cretans, Syrians, Rhodia and Lycia, Peredia and Bibesia Peredia and Bibesia: Most of these names are real, while some are fictitious—as, for instance, Peredia, Hungry-land, and Bibesia, Thirsty-land. By Centauromachia he perhaps means Thessaly, the country of the Centaurs; though, possibly, this region may have been too near for him to hope to impose upon Lyco., Centauromachia and Classia Unomammia Classia Unomammia: Classia is supposed by Schmieder to be used for classis, an army. Unomammia, the land of the one-breasted people, may perhaps be an allusion to the Amazons, who were feigned to be in the habit of cutting off one breast, for the purpose of using the bow with greater adroitness. Conterebromia is a name coined for the occasion, signifying the and of piercing., and all Libya, and all Conterebromia; one half even of all nations has he conquered unaided in twenty days. LYCO Dear me! CURCULIO Why are you surprised? LYCO Why, because if all these people were penned up in a cage as close as chickens, even so they couldn’t be encompassed in a year. Upon my faith, I do believe that you are That you are: Esse, to be or to eat, according to the context. Limiers suggests that a pun is here in ended. If so, it will admit of either these meanings, that you are his servant or that you eat at his expense. come from him; for you do jabber such nonsense. CURCULIO Aye, and I can tell you still more, if you like. LYCO No; I don’t want it. Follow me this way. I’ll pay you that, on account of which you came; and lo, I see (from his house.) Save you, Procurer. CAPPADOX May the Gods prosper you. LYCO Do you know what this is about which I’m come to you? CAPPADOX Say on what you please. LYCO You are to receive the money, and to send away the young woman with him. (Pointing to CURCULIO.) CAPPADOX But what if I’m bound on oath to another? LYCO What matters that to you, so long as you get the money? CAPPADOX He who advises is as good as an accomplice. Do you follow. CURCULIO Procurer, take care that you don’t cause me any delay. (They go into the house of CAPPADOX.) (Enter the CHOREGUS The Choregus: The Choregus was the person who had the care of the dresses and decorations for the actors, and provided the Choruses. See the Trinummus, l. 858 (Act IV., Sc. 2)., as CHORUS.) THE CHOREGUS By my faith, Phaedromus has cleverly met with this clever rogue; but whether a salt-water rogue Salt-water rogue: Halophantam. The halophantae were those who informed against the exporters of salt contrary to law, as the sycophantae did against the exporters of figs. The Choregus is using a choice of names for the same thing, as he means to say, call him by what name you will, Curculio is a clever rogue. It is not possible to translate the passage literally and preserve the spirit of it at the same time. or a dry-land one I’m the rather to say he is, I really don’t know. The costume that I’ve lent I fear I shan’t get back. Although I have nothing whatever to do with him (I trusted Phaedromus himself), still I’ll keep an eye upon him. But until he comes out of doors, I’ll point out in what place you may easily meet with each person, that he mayn’t lose his labour through too much trouble, if any one wishes to meet either a rascal or one without rascality, or an honest man or a dishonest one. He who desires to meet with a perjured fellow, let him go into the courts of law Into the courts of law: The Comitium was a place in the Roman Forum, near the Curia, where trials were carried on before the Praetor. It was near the Puteal Libonis, or Scribonianum. where witnesses were sworn, and perjured people were to be found, ready to give false testimony.; he who wants a liar and a braggart, near the rites of Cloacina Rites of Cloacina: Venus is supposed to have been called by this name, from her statue having been once found in the Cloacae, or sewer of Rome. He alludes to the neighbourhood of her Temple, in which Plautus himself is said to have dwelt, The Basilica has been mentioned in a previous Note.. The rich and erring husbands seek you at the magisterial halls of the Basilica. There, too, will be the worn-out harlots, and those who are wont to haggle for them. Contributors to pic-nic dinners Pic-nic dinners: The symbolae, or pic-nic entertainments, have been referred to in the Notes to the Stichus. They were probably got up on a cheap scale. you’ll find in the fishmarket. In the lower part of the Forum good men Good men: Boni is here used in the sense of opulent, men of substance. and opulent do walk; in the middle, near the canal Near the canal: The banks of this canal were much resorted to by walkers. It is not accurately known in what part of Rome it was situate., there are the mere puffers-off. Beyond the lake Beyond the lake: He probably alludes to the former site of the Curtian Lake, which, in his time, was dried up. Ovid says, in the Fasti, B. vi., l. 401, This place, where now are the markets, formerly fenny marshes covered; a ditch was here swimming with water from the overflowing of the river. That spot formed the Curtian Lake, which now supports the altars on dry ground: ’tis now dry ground, but once it was a lake. It is not a little amusing, that though the Scene is in Epidaurus, Plautus is here discussing Roman scenes and manners. of Curtius are impudent, talkative, and malevolent fellows, who boldly, without reason, utter calumnies about another, and who, themselves, have sufficient that might with truth be said against them. There, at the old shops The old shops: He probably alludes to the old shops in the Forum, which were the property of the state, and were let out to the bankers and money-lenders., are these who lend and those who borrow at interest. Behind the Temple of Castor there are those to whom unguardedly you may be lending to your cost. There, in the Etrurian street, are those men who hold themselves Who hold themselves: Horace alludes to the turba impia, the impious throng, of the Etrurian street. on sale. In the Velabrum Velabrum: See the Captivi, l. 494 (Act III., Sc. 1). you’ll find either baker, or butcher, or soothsayer; either those who sell retail themselves, or supply to others things to be sold by retail. Rich sinning husbands you’ll find at the house of Oppian Leucadia Oppian Leucadia: The best solution of the meaning of this passage seems to be, that he is alluding to a woman named Leueadia, a freed woman of the Oppian family, whose house was a rendezvous for riotous and debauched husbands.. But, meantime, the door makes a noise; I must curb my tongue. (Exit.) (Enter, from the house of CAPPADOX, CURCULIO, leading PLANESIUM, followed by LYCO and CAPPADOX.) CURCULIO Maiden, do you go before; what is behind me I cannot keep my eye upon. Both the trinkets of gold, and all the clothing that she had, were his own, he said. CAPPADOX No one is going to deny it. CURCULIO Still, however, it’s somewhat better for me to remind you. LYCO Remember that you’ve undertaken, that, if any one should assert in course of law that she’s properly free, all the money is to be returned to me-thirty minae. CAPPADOX I shall remember; be easy about that; and now I say the same. CURCULIO But I wish you to remember this well. CAPPADOX I remember, and I shall deliver her to you on warranty On warranty: Dare mancupio meant, to sell a thing upon warranty, which, when formally done, was effected per aes et libram, by striking the balance with an as, in the presence of six witnesses, when the seller guaranteed the possession of it to the purchaser.. CURCULIO And am I to take anything on warranty from a Procurer, people who have nothing of their own except a tongue only; who, if anything’s entrusted them, deny it upon oath? You Procurers dispose of what belongs to others, you give liberty to what belongs to others, and what belongs to others your give your commands to; no guarantee of ownership is there in the transfer to yourselves, nor are you yourselves guarantees to another person. The race of Procurers, among mortals, in my way of thinking at least, are just like flies, gnats, bugs, lice, and fleas—a plague, a mischief, and a nuisance; you are of no serviceable use, and no respectable person dares to stand with you in the Forum; he that does associate with you, they censure him, he’s spat upon and abused; they say that he has lost his property and his honor, although he has done nothing at all. LYCO Upon my faith, my clever one-eyed friend, in my way of thinking, you are well acquainted with the Procurers. CURCULIO You bankers, i’ faith, I put and place in the same rank; you are the very counterparts of them. They, at least, are on sale in dark corners, you in the very Forum In the very Forum: In allusion to the place where most of the bankers’ shops were situate.. You tear men to pieces with usury, they by persuading them amiss and by means of their dens. Full many a proposed statute Proposed statute: Rogitatio, or, more commonly, rogatio, was the term applied to a proposed law, or decree of the people, or plebiscitum. has the public confirmed on your account, which when confirmed you break; some loophole you find out; just as boiling water becomes cold, so do you deem the laws. LYCO (aside.) I’d rather I’d held my tongue. CAPPADOX Not wrongfully, and with good reason, are you abusive against them. CURCULIO If abuse is uttered against those who deserve it not, that I do hold to be abuse; but if it is uttered against those who are deserving, it is fair censure, in my way of thinking, at least. I care nothing about your warranty, nor about any other Procurer whatever. Lyco, do you want anything with me? LYCO Heartily fare you well. CURCULIO Farewell. (Going.) CAPPADOX Hark you! I say to you— CURCULIO Say on; what do you want? CAPPADOX Prithee do you take care that all’s well with her (pointing to PLANESIUM); I’ve brought her up in my house carefully and in chastity. CURCULIO If you have such compassion for her, pray, what would you give for it to be all well with her? CAPPADOX A plaguy mishap for yourself. CURCULIO You need take due care on that score about yourself. CAPPADOX (to PLANESIUM, who is weeping.) Why, simpleton, do you cry? Don’t be afraid; upon my faith, I’ve sold you favourably. Take care, will you, and be a good girl; now prettily accompany him, pretty one. LYCO Summanus, do you want anything with me at present? CURCULIO Fare you well, and health attend you. (Aside.) For you’ve kindly given me your services and your money. LYCO Give abundant greetings to my patron. CURCULIO I’ll give them. (Exit with PLANESIUM.) LYCO Procurer, do you wish for anything? CAPPADOX Give me those ten minae for me to manage for myself with, until things are better with me. LYCO They shall be paid; order them to be fetched to-morrow. (Exit.) CAPPADOX Since I’ve successfully finished the matter, I wish to return thanks here in the Temple. For long since, when a little girl, I bought her for ten minae; but him who sold her to me, never since then have I set eyes upon. I think he’s dead. What matters that to me? I’ve got the money. The man to whom the Gods are propitious, for him, no doubt, they throw gain in his way. Now will I give my attention to my devotions; it’s clear that he has a kind regard for me. (Goes into the Temple.) (Enter THERAPONTIGONUS. Therapontigonus—He seems to be a miller member of the class of braggarts, of which Pyrgopolinices, in the Miles Gloriosus, is so admirable a specimen. and LYCO.) THERAPONTIGONUS I’m come now, inflamed with wrath in no moderate degree, but with that same with which I’ve learned to deal destruction upon cities. At once now, unless this moment you make haste instantly to pay me the thirty minae which I left with you, make haste to lay down your life. LYCO By my troth, to no little mischief do I now devote you, but to that same to which I am wont to devote that man to whom I owe nothing at all. THERAPONTIGONUS Don’t you be making yourself bold with me, or suppose that I shall be entreating you. LYCO And you, indeed, shall never force me to pay you what has been paid, nor shall I give it you. THERAPONTIGONUS I thought this, when I entrusted you with it, that you would repay nothing at all. LYCO Why then are you now asking it back of me? THERAPONTIGONUS I wish to know to whom you have paid it. LYCO To your one-eyed freed-man; he said that he was called Summanus; I paid it to him, who brought me this sealed letter. (Gives him the letter.) THERAPONTIGONUS What letter of mine, what one-eyed freed-man, what people called Summanus are you dreaming about? I really have no freed-man at all. LYCO You act more wisely than a portion of the military men who have freed-men, and then forsake them. THERAPONTIGONUS What have you done? LYCO What you requested me, I’ve done for your sake, that I mightn’t slight the messenger who had brought your seal’s impression. THERAPONTIGONUS More fool than fool were you to give credit to this letter. LYCO To that by which matters both public and private are carried on ought I not to have given credit? I’ll be off; the money has been properly paid you. Warrior, farewell. THERAPONTIGONUS How—farewell? LYCO Fare you ill then, if you choose,—aye, all your life, so far as I’m concerned. (Exit.) THERAPONTIGONUS What shall I do now? Of what use is it that I have caused kings to obey me, if this obscure fellow Obscure fellow: Umbraticus, a low fellow, a haunter of obscure places. is this day to laugh at me? (Enter CAPPADOX, from the Temple.) CAPPADOX (to himself.) The man to whom the Gods are propitious, they cannot, I think, be angered with him. After I ad finished my devotions, it then came into my mind, lest the banker should abscond, to go fetch the money, that I may make good cheer rather than he. THERAPONTIGONUS I had left my compliments for you at your house. CAPPADOX Therapontigonus Platagidorus, save you; since you are come safe to Epidaurus this day, at my house—you won’t lick up one grain of salt Lick up one grain of salt: He pretends that he is going to invite him; but, stopping short, ends by saying that he shall not even taste salt with him. ἄλαλεχε to lick salt, Erasmus, in his Adagia, tells os was a proverbial expression, denoting to live sparingly.. THERAPONTIGONUS You give me a kind invitation; things, however, are in a train for it to go badly with yourself. But how fares my purchase at your house? CAPPADOX Why, not at my house at all. Don’t be bringing your witnesses—assuredly, I don’t owe you anything. THERAPONTIGONUS How’s that? CAPPADOX What I was bound on oath to do, I’ve done. THERAPONTIGONUS Will you give me up the girl or not, before I spit you with this sabre of mine, you whip-scoundrel? CAPPADOX I bid you go to perdition with all my heart; don’t you be terrifying me. She has been carried off; you shall be carried off hence away from me, beyond a doubt, if you persist in abusing me, to whom I owe nothing but a punishing. THERAPONTIGONUS What, threaten me with a punishing? CAPPADOX Aye, and by my troth, I’ll not be threatening, but I’ll give it, if you persist in being impertinent to me. THERAPONTIGONUS A Procurer, forsooth, threatening me; and are my combats in battle, so many in number, lying trodden under foot? But so may my sabre and my shield trustily aid me when fighting in the field; unless the girl is restored to me, I’ll at once cause the ants to carry you away piecemeal from this spot. CAPPADOX And so may my tweezers So may my tweezers: We might almost fancy that it was a barber speaking, from this mention of the implements of his trade. Probably Cappadox employed these articles himself, in putting the best appearance upon his commodities, that they might the more readily attract the public., my comb, my looking-glass, my crisping-iron, and my hair-scissors and scrubbing-towel love me well, I don’t value your high-sounding words, nor these big threats of yours, a bit the more than my servant-girl that washes out my sink. I’ve given her up to him who brought the money from you. THERAPONTIGONUS What person was that? CAPPADOX He said that he was Summanus, your freed-man. THERAPONTIGONUS Mine? You don’t say so; i’ faith, it’s that Curculio that has put a trick upon me, when I think upon it; he stole my ring from me. CAPPADOX (aside.) The Captain has been finely appointed to a cashiered company Appointed to a cashiered company: He remarks that the Captain has been made a fool of, just in the same way as if he had received a commission in a disbanded maniple, or company.. THERAPONTIGONUS Where now shall I find Curculio Find Curculio: He asks where he can find Curculio. That word signifying not only the Parasite’s name, but a weevil as well, Cappadox tells him that he may find hundreds of them in wheat.? CAPPADOX In some wheat with the greatest ease I’ll make you find even five hundred Curculios instead of one. Therefore I’m off; fare you well, and my service to you. (Exit.) THERAPONTIGONUS Fare you ill, a plague attend you. What shall I do? Shall I stop or go away? That I should have been imposed upon in this way! I’d like to give a reward to him who would point out that fellow to me. (Exit.) (Enter CURCULIO, with a ring, from the house of PHAEDROMUS.) CURCULIO I’ve heard that an ancient Poet An ancient Poet: Who this ancient Poet was, is not known. wrote in a Tragedy, that two women are worse than one; such is the fact. But a more crafty woman than is this mistress of Phaedromus, I never saw or heard of, nor, i’ faith, can one be spoken of or imagined; she, as soon as ever she saw that I had got this ring, asked me whence I got it. Why do you ask that? said I. Because I’ve need to know, said she. I said I wouldn’t tell her. To get it away, she seized hold of my hand with her teeth. With much ado I betook me out of doors, and made my escape. Away with this slut This slut: Caniculam. Little bitch.. (Enter PLANESIUM, followed by PHAEDROMUS, from his house.) PLANESIUM My Phaedromus, make haste. PHAEDROMUS Make haste for what? PLANESIUM That you mayn’t let the Parasite escape; the affair’s of consequence. PHAEDROMUS Nothing have I Nothing have I: Planesium says, res, the affair, is urgent. Phaedromus, understanding the word as meaning property, says, I’ve got none; what I had, I soon squandered. of consequence; for what I did have I quickly made away with? (Seizes CURCULIO.) I’ve got him; what’s the matter? PLANESIUM Ask him whence he got that ring: my father used to wear it. CURCULIO Why, troth, and so did my aunt. PLANESIUM My mother gave it him to wear. CURCULIO And your father, in his turn, to me. PLANESIUM You are talking nonsense. CURCULIO I’m in the habit; for by reason of it I make a livelihood the more easily. What is the matter now? PLANESIUM I entreat you, don’t be keeping me from finding my parents. CURCULIO How can I? Have I got your father and mother hidden beneath the stone? (Holding up the ring.) PLANESIUM I was born a free woman. CURCULIO And so were many others, who are now in servitude. PLANESIUM Really now, I’m vexed. CURCULIO For my part, I’ve told you how this came into my possession. How often must you be told? I cheated the Captain at dice, I tell you. (THERAPONTIGONUS.) THERAPONTIGONUS (eyeing CURCULIO.) I’m all right; see, here he is whom I was looking for. How do you do, good sir? CURCULIO I hear you; three casts of the dice, if you like, even for that scarf of yours. THERAPONTIGONUS Why don’t you go to very perdition, with your casts and catch-pennies Casts and catch-pennies: Cum bolis, cum bulbis. Literally with your casts of dice and your onions. He probably uses the word bulbis solely for its similarity to bolis, by way of alliteration. A little variation is made in the translation, to keep the spirit of the passage, which it is impossible to do by adhering to the letter.? Either give me back the money or the young woman? CURCULIO (with an air of surprise.) What money? what rubbish are you talking about to me? What young woman are you demanding back of me? THERAPONTIGONUS The one that you took away this day from the Procurer, you scoundrelly fellow. CURCULIO I took none away. THERAPONTIGONUS Why, surely, I see her. There she is. (Pointing to PLANESIUM.) PHAEDROMUS This young woman is free. THERAPONTIGONUS What, my female slave free, to whom I have never given her liberty? PHAEDROMUS Who gave you possession of her, or of whom did you buy her? Let me know that? THERAPONTIGONUS Why, I paid the money for her through my banker—a sum which I’ll have refunded to me fourfold by you and the Procurer. PHAEDROMUS You, who understand how to traffic in young women, kidnapped and of free birth, come you before the judge. THERAPONTIGONUS I shan’t come. PHAEDROMUS I may call my witness Call my witness: It was a custom with the Romans, when a man was summoned by another to go with him at once before the Praetor, for the plaintiff, if the defendant would not go quietly, to call any bystander to be witness (antestari) that he had been duly summnened; and, having touched the ear of the witness, the latter was bound to aid in dragging the defendant to court. Only free persons could be witnesses. For this reason the Captain tells Phaedromus that he cannot summon a witness on this occasion, as he knows that Planesium is not free, and supposes that Curculio is also a slave. to the summons. THERAPONTIGONUS No, you mayn’t. PHAEDROMUS May Jupiter then utterly confound you: live without witnesses Without witnesses: Intestatus. An indelicate allusion tended in this line. then. CURCULIO But I’m a person that he may summon. PHAEDROMUS (to CURCULIO.) Do you step this way.Part of the first part of line 623 in the Latin. THERAPONTIGONUS What? A slave summoned as a witness? Take you care. CURCULIO Well, that you may know it, I’m free. THERAPONTIGONUS Then come before the judge.Part of the firt part of line 624_625 in the Latin. There’s for you: take that. (Gives him a blow.) CURCULIO O townsmen, townsmen, help. THERAPONTIGONUS Why do you bawl so? PHAEDROMUS What right have you to strike him? THERAPONTIGONUS Because I choose. PHAEDROMUS (to CURCULIO.) Step this way you (pushes him towards the CAPTAIN); there, I’ll give him up to you. Hold your noise. CURCULIO Phaedromus, prithee do save me. PHAEDROMUS As I would myself and my own good Genius. Captain, prithee, do tell me whence you got that ring, which this Parasite purloined from you. PLANESIUM (kneeling before the CAPTAIN.) By your knees, I do entreat you to give us that information. THERAPONTIGONUS What matters that to you? You might as well ask after this sabre and this scarf, how each came into my possession. CURCULIO What airs the swaggerer does give himself! THERAPONTIGONUS Send that fellow away (pointing to CURCULIO); then I’ll tell you all. CURCULIO It’s nonsense what he says. PHAEDROMUS Prithee, do let me know. THERAPONTIGONUS I’ll tell you: (to PLANESIUM) get up. Listen to this matter, and give attention. My father Periphanes used to wear it. PLANESIUM Ha! Periphanes? THERAPONTIGONUS He, before he died, gave it to me as being his son, as it was right he should. PLANESIUM O Jupiter! THERAPONTIGONUS And on that occasion he made me his heir. PLANESIUM O filial affection, do thou preserve me, since I have carefully preserved thee. Welcome, my brother. THERAPONTIGONUS How am I to believe that? Tell me, if you are speaking the truth, who was your mother? PLANESIUM Cleobula. THERAPONTIGONUS Who was your nurse? PLANESIUM Archestrata. Amid the sacred rites of Bacchus she had carried me to see the sights after we had come thither, when now she had found me a place, a whirlwind arose A whirlwind arose: Many mishaps appear to have happened to families through the lawlessness and violence of which the Festivals of the Divinities were the occasion.; the scaffolding The scaffolding: Suetonius tells us that the reign of Tiberius was rendered memorable by the fall of the scaffolding in the theatre of Fidenae. of the stage there tumbled down; I was greatly alarmed, and then some one, I know not who, seized hold of me trembling and frightened, neither alive nor dead; and in what manner he carried me off I cannot say. THERAPONTIGONUS I recollect that disturbance happening; but, do you tell me, where is this person, who carried you away? PLANESIUM I know not; but (showing a ring) this ring I have all along preserved by me, with it long since was I lost. THERAPONTIGONUS Give it me to look at. CURCULIO (to PLANESIUM.) Are you in your senses to be trusting it to that fellow? (Holds her arm.) PLANESIUM Do you only leave me alone. (She gives it to the CAPTAIN.) THERAPONTIGONUS (examining it.) O Jupiter! This is the same that I presented you upon your birthday; I recognize it as easily as my own self. Welcome to you, my sister. PLANESIUM My brother, welcome to you. PHAEDROMUS I trust the Gods will prosper this matter for you. CURCULIO And I, for all of us. (To the CAPTAIN.) Do you, as having this day arrived, give a dinner in honor of your sister he (pointing to PHAEDROMUS), to-morrow, will give one in honor of his marriage; we promise that. PHAEDROMUS (to CURCULIO.) Do you hold your tongue. CURCULIO I shan’t hold my tongue, as things are turning out so well. Captain, do you promise her to him; I’ll give the marriage-portion. THERAPONTIGONUS What is the marriage-portion? CURCULIO What, that I give? Why, that always as long as he lives he’s to feed me. THERAPONTIGONUS I’ troth, he says what’s fair; with my consent you shall do so. But this Procurer owes me the thirty minae. PHAEDROMUS For what reason so? THERAPONTIGONUS Because he agreed with me on these terms to give it back: that if any one should assert her to be free born in due course of law, he would, without dispute, pay back all the money. CURCULIO Then let’s go to the Procurer. THERAPONTIGONUS I agree. PHAEDROMUS This first I wish; to despatch my matter. THERAPONTIGONUS What’s that? PHAEDROMUS That you will betroth her to me. (The CAPTAIN considers.) CURCULIO Why do you hesitate, Captain, to give her as a wife to him? THERAPONTIGONUS If she is agreable. PLANESIUM My brother, it is my wish. THERAPONTIGONUS So be it then. CURCULIO You do rightly. PHAEDROMUS Captain, do you betroth me to her for my wife? THERAPONTIGONUS I do betroth her. PHAEDROMUS (pointing to CURCULIO.) And to him do I promise support at my expense. CURCULIO You do kindly. But THER, But see, here’s the Procurer coming; my treasurer My treasurer: In allusion to the money which he intends to have back from the Procurer. Thesaurum seems here to have the signification of treasurer or treasury., I mean. (Enter CAPPADOX, in haste.) CAPPADOX (to himself.) Those who say Those who say: This and the following line are clearly in a very corrupt state. Indeed, it is hard to gather any sense whatever from them. it’s bad for bankers to be trusted, utter nonsense; I say it’s neither good nor bad for them to be trusted, and that, I’ve fully experienced this day. They are not They are not: He seems to mean, that, where there is no possibility of the debtor paying back the money, the case is more fortunate than where you are tormented by hopes of getting it back, which, however, are doomed to disappointment. badly trusted, who never repay, but with whom it is lost outright. As for example, before this Lyco paid me the ten minae, he had to go to every banker’s counter. After there were no proceeds, I summoned the fellow with much noise; he appealed against me to the court. I was most confoundedly afraid that this day he’d be settling accounts with me before the Praetor Before the Praetor: He was afraid that Lyco would cheat him, by filing his schedule, or taking the benefit, in the Roman style. See the Note to l. 373 (Act III., Sc. 1).; but my friends forced him, so he paid the money at home. Now I’m resolved to make haste to my house. (Runs towards his door.) THERAPONTIGONUS Hallo! you Procurer; I want you. PHAEDROMUS And I want you. CAPPADOX But I don’t want either of you. THERAPONTIGONUS Stay this instant, will you. PHAEDROMUS And make you haste to disgorge the money with all despatch. CAPPADOX (to PHAEDROMUS.) What have you to do with me? (To the CAPTAIN.) Or what have you? THERAPONTIGONUS Because this day I shall be making a javelin of you, discharged from a catapulta, and twist you with the string With the string: Nervus, a cord, was also the name of the iron chain fastened round the neck and legs of the prisoner. If the debtor did not pay within thirty days after judgment, lie was liable to be thrown into prison by the creditor., just as the catapultas are in the habit of doing. PHAEDROMUS I’ll this day make a coxcomb of you, to be sleeping with a puppy With a puppy: He jokes on the double meaning of the word catellus, which signified an iron chain, and also a little dog. in your bed—an iron one, I mean. CAPPADOX But I’ll make you both to be rotting in a strong-barred prison. THERAPONTIGONUS Seize him by the throat, and away with him to extreme torture. PHAEDROMUS However that is, he’ll be going there of his own accord. (The CAPTAIN seizes him.) CAPPADOX O Gods and men, your aid! that I, uncondemned, and without evidence against me, should thus be dragged along! Prithee, Planesium, and you, Phaedromus, do give me assistance. PLANESIUM Brother, I do beseech you, don’t ruin him uncondemned; he treated me kindly and modestly at his house. THERAPONTIGONUS That was through no inclination of his own; give you thanks to this Aesculapius To this Aesculapius: Who had not granted him convalescence so soon as he desired. (pointing to the Temple) that you’ve preserved your chastity; for if he had been well, he’d long ago have packed you off wherever he could. PHAEDROMUS Now attend to me, both of you, if I can arrange between you. (To the CAPTAIN.) You let him go. Procurer, come you this way. I’ll pronounce my opinion, if indeed you are ready to abide by what I shall decide you should do. THERAPONTIGONUS We leave it to you. (He lets go of the PROCURER.) CAPPADOX So long, i’ faith, as you give a decision to the effect that no one is to take the money away from me. THERAPONTIGONUS What, not that which you promised? CAPPADOX I, promised? How? THERAPONTIGONUS With your tongue. CAPPADOX With that same tongue I now gainsay it; that was given me by Nature for the purpose of speaking, not of losing my property. THERAPONTIGONUS He’s trifling; seize the fellow by the throat. (Seizes him.) CAPPADOX I’ll at once then do as you bid me. THERAPONTIGONUS Since you are an honest man, answer me this that I ask you. CAPPADOX Ask me what you please. THERAPONTIGONUS Did you not promise, that if any one should show that she (pointing to PLANESIUM) was freeborn, you would pay back all the money? CAPPADOX I don’t remember saying so. THERAPONTIGONUS What, do you deny it? CAPPADOX I’ faith, I really do deny it. In whose presence? In what place was it? THERAPONTIGONUS In my own presence, and that of Lyco the banker. CAPPADOX Why don’t you hold your tongue? THERAPONTIGONUS I shan’t hold my tongue. CAPPADOX I don’t care a rush for you; don’t be bullying me. THERAPONTIGONUS In my own presence and that of Lyco it took place. PHAEDROMUS (to the CAPTAIN.) I quite believe you. Now, therefore, Procurer, that you may know my judgment, (pointing to PLANESIUM) she is a free woman; he (pointing to the CAPTAIN) is her brother, and she is his sister; she is engaged to me; do you restore him the money; that’s my decision. CAPPADOX Upon my faith, Phaedromus, you have given this decision corruptly. It shall both be bad for you, and you, Captain,—may the Gods and Goddesses confound you. THERAPONTIGONUS And as for you, you shall be clapt in prison at once, unless the money’s returned me. CAPPADOX Then follow me. THERAPONTIGONUS Follow you where? CAPPADOX To my banker—to the Praetor To the Praetor: See the Note to l. 684.; for it’s there that I pay my money to all persons to whom I’m indebted. THERAPONTIGONUS I’ll be carrying you hence to prison, and not to the Praetor, if you don’t pay back the money. CAPPADOX I do most earnestly wish you may come to a bad end, so don’t misunderstand me Don’t misunderstand me: Ne me nescias. Equivalent to our phrase, I fully give you to understand.. THERAPONTIGONUS Do you really so? CAPPADOX I’ faith, I really do so. THERAPONTIGONUS I don’t misunderstand these fists of mine. (Holding them up.) CAPPADOX What then? THERAPONTIGONUS What then, do you ask? With these same fists, if you provoke me, I’ll be making you quiet immediately. CAPPADOX (taking the money from his girdle.) Well then, take this back at once. THERAPONTIGONUS (taking the money.) By all means. PHAEDROMUS Captain, you’ll dine with me; the nuptials shall take place to-day. THERAPONTIGONUS May this matter turn out well for me and for yourselves. An ACTOR. Spectators, give us your applause.Part of line 729 in the Latin.
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