The *Priapeia* is a collection of short Latin epigrams attributed variously to Vergil, Ovid, or a circle of poets gathered at Maecenas's house, consisting largely of comic monologues spoken by the garden-god Priapus—celebrating his own phallus and threatening thieves with obscene punishments. This text is the preface to its first complete English translation (published 1890 in a private edition of 500 copies), which the translators present as a faithful, unexpurgated rendering aimed at philological and anthropological scholars rather than general readers. The edition is notable for its extensive scholarly apparatus—notes and excursus five times the length of the poems themselves—covering Roman erotic practices, sexual vocabulary, pederasty, religious prostitution, and related topics drawn from classical sources. The preface also includes a substantial digression on the history of phallic worship, tracing the cult of Priapus from its origins as a reverent symbol of generative cosmic energy through its corruption into licentiousness across Egyptian, Hindu, Greek, and Roman traditions. A distinctive claim running throughout is that phallic symbolism was originally a serious theological concept—representing creative divine power rather than mere obscenity—before priestly exploitation debased it. The editors position the *Priapeia* not as pornography but as a scholarly key to unlocking the erotic vocabulary and practices referenced obliquely by Catullus, Martial, Petronius, and Juvenal.