English Fairy and Other Folk Tales: Drolls: Stupid's Mistaken Cries

THERE was once a little boy, and his mother sent him to buy a sheep's head and pluck; afraid he should forget it, the lad kept saying all the way along: "Sheep's head and pluck! Sheep's head and pluck!" Trudging along, he came to a stile; but in getting over he fell and hurt himself, and, beginning to blubber, forgot what he was sent for. So he stood a little while to consider; at last he thought he recollected it, and began to repeat: "Liver and lights and gall and all! Liver and lights and gall and all!" Away he went again, and came to where a man was sick, bawling out: Whereon the man laid hold of him and beat him, bidding him say: "Pray God send no more up! Pray God send no more up!" The youngster strode along, uttering these words, till he reached a field where a hind was sowing wheat: This was all his cry. So the sower began to thrash him, and charged him to repeat: "Pray God send plenty more! Pray God send plenty more! Off the child scampered with these words in his mouth till he reached a churchyard and met a funeral, but he went on with his: "Pray God send plenty more! Pray God send plenty more!" The chief mourner seized and punished him, and bade him repeat: "Pray God send the soul to heaven! Pray God send the soul to heaven!" Away went the boy, and met a dog and a bitch going to be hung, but his cry rang out: The good folk nearly were furious, seized and struck him, charging him to say: "A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung! A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung!" This the poor fellow did, till he overtook a man and a woman going to be married. "Oh! oh!" he shouted: The man was enraged, as we may well think, gave him many a thump, and ordered him to repeat: "I wish you much joy! I wish you much joy!" This he did, jogging along, till he came to two labourers who had fallen into a ditch. The lad kept bawling out: This vexed one of the folk so sorely that he used all his strength, scrambled out, beat the crier, and told him to say: "The one is out, I wish the other was! The one is out, I wish the other was!" On went young 'un till he found a fellow with only one eye; but he kept up his song: This was too much for Master One-eye, who grabbed him and chastised him, bidding him call: "The one side gives good light, I wish the other did! The one side gives good light, I wish the other did!" So he did, to be sure, till he came to a house, one side of which was on fire. The people here thought it was he who had set the place a-blazing, and straightway put him in prison. The end was, the judge put on his black cap, and condemned him to die. 1 Folk-Lore Record, vol. iii. p 153.